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[weaversweek]

"Never gonna give you up" - Rick Astley

Written by Stock, Aitken, Waterman

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

An obscure Northern Soul song, performed by an aspiring singer-songwriter from Newton-le-Willows near Manchester.

Very little is remembered about this singer, it is suggested that he was "a bit of a muso", and that he went into the studio to "improve my songwriting and my singing".

The tune is pleasantly insistent, though instantly dated to the late eighties. An insistent tinny drum beat kicks in, followed by a cheap keyboard line. Lyrically, it's interesting, the chorus triumphantly declaims a number of things Rick won't do for his paramour, perhaps this inspired a later work by Steinmann and Loaf.

The vocals are the best part of the song, Rick delivers a top-notch soul vocal - quite remarkable for someone of just 21 years. Seriously, give this song a listen, the lad has got remarkable pipes.

Sadly, Rick's time in the pop world was desperately short, and these days almost nobody remembers his one minor hit. It's certainly never used by lazy columnists trying to make their career advice somehow relevant.

Something less obscure tomorrow.

[weaversweek]

24 "Listen to your heart" - Roxette

writers Per Gessle, Mats Persson

"This is us trying to recreate that overblown American FM-rock sound to the point where it almost becomes absurd. We really wanted to see how far we could take it."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Roxette were formed from best friends Per Gessle and Marie Fredriksson in 1986. Took their name from a Dr. Feelgood song. Roxette had some international success in 1987 with "It must have been love (Christmas for the broken hearted)". Second album Look Sharp! came out the following year, lead single was the ultra-bop "Dressed for success".

"Listen to your heart" was the second single. Then came the international breakthrough - "The look" broke containment, spread from Stockholm to Minnesota and then to the world. Various singles from the album were released, to annoyingly little success, until a de-festified "Listen to your heart" turned up on the Pretty Woman soundtrack.

And that was the key for purchasers on Britain. "Listen to your heart" and "Dangerous" were re-released as a double-A side for all people, "Dressed for success" got some recognition, and soon we were into the Joyride album.

There was always going to be a Roxette song in the top 50, and it was always going to be somewhere around here. "Joyride" itself, and late-era waltz "Crash boom bang" were serious contenders. But "Listen to your heart" gets the nod.

It's a lighters-in-the-air song, gently ambling along at the right speed to sway your arms above your head, or rock gently from side to side. Written in a minor key, it's full of hope and yearning; Marie implores her lover to think carefully before leaving. The mood's made by the video, filmed during a concert at the Borgholm castle, and looks sumptuous.

Had an American rock band performed this, we'd have liked it. The bit we love is Marie's vocal, a bit of an accent, a lot of emotion.

Roxette split, reformed, and continued performing until Marie Fredriksson's death in 2019. A dance cover by DHT had some success in the mid-aughts, but mostly reminded us how good Marie's vocal was.

Passing mention to "Wild women do", Natalie Cole's contribution to the Pretty Woman soundtrack, and on the fringes of the shortlist.

[weaversweek]

33 "Birdhouse in your soul" - They Might Be Giants

Writers: John Linnell & John Flansburgh

"Little more than exceptionally innovative busking" - Melody Maker

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

"John Flansburgh then asked the audience to rise for the They Might Be Giants anthem."

"Around the time we were starting, a lot of American bands went to England, made a huge splash there, and rode the wave back across the Atlantic. We thought we'd do that too - but it didn't happen." - John Linnell.

"Flood is a tour de force of charm, ideas, and - above all - brevity." - Snouds

"The song's narrator is a blue nightlight, but he's shaped like a canary, so he compares himself to a proverbial bee in the bonnet. Then his luminescence leads him to a comparison with a painting of a lighthouse, which reminds him of the myth of Jason and the Argonauts. Along the way, the lyrics hyperlink to midcentury wristwatches and congressional procedural maneuvers, while the music pays tribute to the Lovin' Spoonful's "Summer in the city". (A choice, John Linnell notes, that "corny as it sounds", was inspired by the brutal heat of the summer of 1989 when they were recording the album). The song is barely three minutes long, but it changes keys 18 times. And let’s not even try to make sense of the video." - Stale

"The thing is, there are so many syllables in the songs that we have to come up with something to fill the spaces. So it ends up being kind of Gilbert and Sullivany." - John Linnell again.

[weaversweek]

35 "Indestructible" - Four Tops and Smokey Robinson

written by Michael Price and Bobby Sandstrom

Top of the Pops saved their lives.

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

The Four Tops enjoyed a career swansong in late 1988; they'd recorded the classic throwback "Loco in Acapulco" for the movie Buster, and were promoting their song in London. The week before Christmas, they perform the song on Top of the Pops.

Producer Paul Ciani had put together an episode marking TOTP's 25th anniversary, with some of the massive hits of the quarter-century. One of them: "Reach out, I'll be there". Recording was a bit of a mess, and the band missed their booked flight to New York. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise; the plane was blown up over Lockerbie, all on board died.

"Loco in Acapulco" was also on the group's album, and the title track is amongst their best. The song "Indestructible" felt like it had fallen through a timewarp from twenty years earlier: Levi Stubbs still had those awesome soul vocals, augmented by Smokey Robinson. Two Motown legends for the price of one? We're buying, what's the price!

The rest of the album is patchy by the group's high standards, though we suspect Alexander O'Neal would have gladly made this LP. Sadly, the single didn't give the group a return to Top of the Pops, just missing the top 20, and they'd not have another big hit here. But for these four minutes, we can remember glories past, and consider those yet to arrive.

Other soul tunes in my UncoolTwo50 shortlist: "Say I'm your number one" by Princess, Macy Gray's "I try", Soul II Soul's "Back to life", and Ten City's "That's the way love is".

[weaversweek]

41 "Wuthering Heights" - Kate Bush

Written by Kate Bush

“There was a full moon, the curtains were open and it came quite easily.”

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Aged 18, young Kate took inspiration from one of the great Gothic novels, and fashioned a whole performance. It's the most audacious, fearless, quietly feminist art performance - possibly of my lifetime.

Musically, the song has a lot to unpack: harmonic progressions, vocal yelps going here and there, a guitar solo that fades in at the end and dominates everything. And nobody cares for the music theory.

Written in the first weekend of March 1977, Kate found herself channelling the spirit of namesake Catherine Earnshaw, and her forbidden love for Heathcliff. Committed to vinyl over the summer, backed by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, and passed to Capital Radio in November '77, but a change in the artwork postponed release to January '78. The press got it wrong. "B-O-R-I-N-G", wrote Record Mirror. "Manufactured entirely to be consumed" said the New Musical Express (Incorporating Accordian Times). And nobody cares for the details.

We care for the emotion. Kate had taken lessons from mime artist Lindsay Kemp, she'd been dancing and theatrical since a very young age. She embodies the song, and the song is an extension of her.

Kate did Top of the Pops on 16 February, all flaring hair, sheer black top, red trews, and black stiletto heels. It's behind-the-sofa stuff, Kate is as scary and unnerving as a demented witch. This is "Wuthering Heights"? Blimey.

And the rest is history. Top-selling single two weeks later, and Kate had a level of superstardom we'd later associate with Duran Duran, Take That, or Little Mix. Unlike those others, Kate had the agency to take her career her own way: didn't tour after 1979, took long breaks to hone later albums. More in a future entry…

For the list, I've imposed a massive penalty on acts with more than one single - it's removed a second Madonna from the top 50 (goodbye "Open your heart"), ensured we only have one Alanis Morissette ("Hand in my pocket", farewell), a single Tori Amos ("Silent all these years" and "Crucify" both drop off). Kate Bush gets two into the top 50, the only performer to achieve the feat.

[weaversweek]

42 "I'd do anything for love (but I won't do that)" - Meat Loaf

Written by Jim Steinman

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

In the beginning, there was the combination of heaven and hell. Jim Steinman's gothic fantasy, brought to something larger than life by Meat Loaf. The album Bat Out of Hell captured forked lightning in a bottle.

Like a pair of starcross'd lovers, Loaf and Steinman went their separate ways. Meat Loaf made the copycat album Dead Ringer, which wasn't as good, and a couple of others were even less good, and he pretty much dropped off the cultural radar in the mid-80s.

Jim Steinman worked with Bonnie Tyler on her most bombastic singles, Air Supply, the Sisters of Mercy, turned down Andrew Lloyd Webber, and many more. By 1989, he'd come up with his masterplan - Pandora's Box, an all-woman hard rock band, who would sing tortured tales of love like "It's all coming back to me now". In spite of huge publicity, Pandora's Box flopped.

The two men reunited, got tinkling the ivories, and rediscovered their love for pop opera. Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell took everything we remembered from the original, and cranked it up to twelve. The title line is reprised from something Steinman wrote for Bonnie Tyler. The motorbike sound is reprised from Meat Loaf's life. The duet at the end is with Lorraine Crosby, one of the lead singers from Pandora's Box. The sense of drama is heightened by the video, where Dana Patrick plays the love interest. It's a full-on mini-movie, where Mr. Loaf comes to accept himself through the power of love, complete with a Falling Chandelier of Doom.

Some people who didn't pay attention to the lyric are confused by what "That" is. Terribly simple: Mr. Loaf explains what he will do, (run right into hell and back, never stop loving you, pray to the deity of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll), and then a counterexample of what he will not (do it better than I do it with you, stop dreamin' of you every night of my life). The chorus refers back to all these counter-examples, as "I won't do that". Honestly, it's just as simple as "Never gonna give you up" (qv).

Originally written as a fifteen-minute epic, shaved down to 12 minutes for the album, the video runs about nine minutes, and the single version is 7-and-a-half. Unless you're listening to Virgin 1215, where they made a ham-fisted three-and-three-quarter minute edit, which completely ruined the point. This song is a luxurious bath, not a quick shower!

Massive and huge and a career peak for both men. For this project, I also considered Meat Loaf's "Modern girl", an under-appreciated classic; "It's all coming back to me now" in versions by both Pandora's Box and Céline Dion; "Holding out for a hero" and "Total eclipse of the heart" from Steinman's work with Bonnie Tyler; and "No matter what" except Meat Loaf's version was only ever a B-side.

[weaversweek]

46: "Prince Charming" - Adam and the Ants

Written by Adam Ant and Marco Pirroni

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

A massive stuff-you to the git who assassinated John Lennon in 1980. Not just for killing one of The Beatles, but for sending the music world into an introspective frenzy.

And for sending Lennon's records flying off the shelves, blocking so many other great records from the top spot. Jona Lewie would have put "Stop the cavalry" to the top, "In the air tonight" and "Vienna" would satisfy Phil Collins and Ultravox fans. And Adam and the Ants were denied two chart-toppers, "Antmusic" and "Kings of the wild frontier" were held off by John Lennon tributes.

Nevertheless, Adam persisted. "Stand and deliver" was an obvious chart-topper in spring 1981, followed by "Prince Charming" in the early autumn. The band was intensely visual, telling clear stories through music and stagecraft, almost as if they'd been crafted as a package.

Here, Adam takes on the character of Cinderella, with Diana Dors as his fairy godmother. You shall go to the ball, you shall dance the Prince Charming. The driving beat makes it difficult to dance normally, so Adam demonstrates a pattern dance to the lolloping rhythm.

Something for all the family here: Mums might want to, um, have Mr. Ant round for tea; dads get to see Diana Dors' charms. Us youngsters get an easy-to-follow song with a banging beat. Our older siblings have some clever lyrics to dissect, and enough bang to annoy parents.

Fashion moved on, already Smash Hits was asking "Is he past his peak?", and Adam was soon tumbling down pop's Dumper. Like a supernova, he'd burned so bright in those eighteen months of fame.

[weaversweek]

47: "Shout" - Tears For Fears

Written by Roland Orzabel and Ian Stanley

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

"An insidious chorus you'll find yourself singing in the most inopportune moments", said Lesley White in Smash Hits.

The second single from their album "Songs from the Big Chair" contains multitudes. Cowbells at the start, then a crunching synth note, and Roland's polytracked vocals literally bellow the title at you. It continues, the simple synthesiser pattern is set to repeat, we loop through verses and bridges, through a long guitar solo and crashing drums and always come back to this mantra-like chorus.

Roland Orzabel let us think the song was about primal scream therapy, the sort where one hollers and screeches to remove bad emotions through physical exertion. He's also let us think it's about protest, standing up and shouting for what one believes in.

Here is an exception to the rule: more is more. The three-minute edits shown on Top of the Pops are a useful snack. The five-minute single is great. The seven-minute album track, that is the pinnacle of achievement.

The classic lineup (Roland Orzabal and a kangaroo) made one further album, then split for musical differences, and reformed for the nostalgia circuit. "I don't think in twenty years' time people will be interested in Simon Le Bon," opined Roland in 1985; we'll double that, and say he's right.

[weaversweek]

39 "Stay (I missed you)" - Lisa Loeb

Written by Lisa Loeb

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Piano lessons, musical theatre, guitar, stanning David Bowie. Just some of the components of a Texas youth; in this case, of Lisa Loeb. Resolutely independent, she had graduated from Brown college, gone through Berklee College, made her mark on the New York singer-songwriter scene. She was still on a teeny-tiny indie label when this song hit the big time in summer '94.

"Stay" is a sweet breakup song: Lisa and her paramour are considering whether to part, still hold tender feelings for each other, and Lisa is working through her feelings. The verses are unabashed displays of emotion, a stream of consciousness with so many "and…" sentences. The brief chorus pulls it back a little to be quite tender.

The whole song has an intimate vulnerability, and we feel like we've been through the wars with Lisa. A quiet stormer of a hit: it doesn't feel like it's a big deal, then it creeps up on us and we realise she's put us through the wringer.

Came to the attention of Lisa's neighbour Ethan Hawke, who insisted it be used in his new movie Reality Bites, where it underscores the closing credits; Hawke also directed the video, where Lisa's dewy and romantic and not really that angry.

The rest of the movie soundtrack is so-so (Juliana Hatfield's "Spin the bottle" the other track that's lasted), and Reality Bites itself is not a great movie - less The Breakfast Club and more RI:SE with Winona Ryder and Christian Stiller. The authentic jerk is preferable to the corporate sellout, a none-more-mid-90s conclusion.

Lisa is a bit shy, clearly well-read - "Nine Stories" an allusion to JD Salinger - and she comes across as sweetly innocent.

Since 1994, she's made a number of not-as-successful albums, was feted on the Lilith Fair tour as one of the crowd made good. There was a short-lived cookery show, branched out into children's albums, won a Grammy for Feel What U Feel. There's also a brand of Lisa Loeb spectacles, because of course there is. And she co-wrote a New York Times crossword; no word yet on the Lisa Loeb Connecting Wall.

Other #UncoolTwo50 matters: Juliana Hatfield made my longlist of about 550 with "My sister" but didn't make the top 100 cut. Lisa's boyfriend of the time was Juan Patino, who produced another longlister Jewel's "You were meant for me". Another singer-songwriter from Texas, Edie Brickell, made the shortlist with "What I am", fell short because I've already got too much from 1989. Fellow Dallas mid-90s alt-rockers Deep Blue Something… we've not seen them yet, have we?

[weaversweek]

20 "Kids in America" - Kim Wilde

writers Marty Wilde, Ricky Wilde

"Che Guevara with hairspray."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

The Wildes kept it in the family. Written by Marty and his son Ricky, record by daughter Kim, and selling seventy squillion copies around the world. Marty remembered,

"I'd seen a TV programme which was about a certain batch of young teenagers in America and they frightened the hell out of me, because their attitude was…quite interesting! They came across very single-minded and their attitude was was very hard, which of course, a lot of youngsters can have, at a certain age. So with this song, I said to Rick, 'That's the title: Kids in America.' Then, of course, I had a clear cut picture.

"I wanted this tough girl who was looking out of a window, looking at the nightlife and people, traffic rushing by and thinking, What the damn hell am I doing sitting here? Let's get down there, let's follow the music! Once you are there, you're in control, in that song. She is in control. It's not the guy, it's not the person she's dancing with, she is in total control. And that's what I got from watching those American teenagers, I thought that's what they would be like."

Marty reckons the main synth riff is a lift from OMD, and the opening narration tries to evoke Gary Numan. Whole thing struck me as a bit Joan Jett. The call and response in the chorus? Came about by accident: Marty wanted some sort of response, something to bring the crowd into the song. "Whoa-oh" fit the beat perfectly, and it became the key moment. We join Kim on her path to world power, a great night, or the attentions of some bloke who will later leave her hanging on.

"At turns both sexy and gentle, she seemed like the kind of trouble that would have been acceptable to my parents. She was a pied piper of youth empowerment, destined to lead me out of my put-upon existence of cartoon-watching and riding bikes. I was pretty sure she wore day-glo bangle bracelets, a sweatshirt with the collar ripped off a la Flashdance, and legwarmers. Possibly tights. Tights and legwarmers." -- Our Man in Chicago

Kim vied with Claire Grogan as the pin-up girl for a cohort of pop fans: those too young for Debbie Harry, those who didn't fancy any of Duran Duran. Kim's career continued for most of the 1980s, with less success in the 90s; this century, she's combined the nostalgia circuit with her natural aptitude for gardening.

"Kids in America" has become part of the cultural furniture, with covers by Len (qv), Lawnmower Deth, Cascada, Tiffany, the Foo Fighters, and many many more.

[weaversweek]

21 "Désenchantée" - Mylène Farmer

Lyric Mylène Farmer Music Laurent Boutonnat

You know the gap between Kate Bush, Chappell Roan, and Céline Dion? Mylène Farmer might be the biggest star there.

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Mylène read On the Heights of Despair, the cry of a tortured artist whose explosive intensity of passion was matched only by his profound despair. Sustained by insomnia, and the way it makes some people talk and talk and talk, EM Cioran wrote a meditation on darkness, a devastating nihilism, the absurdity of existence, the agony of consciousness.

It's the sort of thing that French culture would lap up at any time. French culture particularly lapped it up in spring 1991, when the world was convulsing: the collapse of communism, the invasion of Kuwait, the beginning of the end of apartheid, the war to enable Kuwait to sell oil to the west.

Superficially, the song is a shiny post-disco anthem, all pounding disco beats and catchy hooks. The chorus is worth a nomination on its own, the rhyme scheme is like this:

tout est chaos à côté tous mes idéaux des mots abîmés je cherche une âme pourra m'aider je suis d'une génération désenchantée désenchantée

Once heard, never forgotten.

And the video! Mylène worked with Laurent Boutonnat to make short films: complete little meals with plot and substance. She'd previously covered sexuality ("Libertine"), revolutionary war ("Pourvu qu'elles soient douces"), sexism ("Sans logique"), and many more. [Warning: these films contain scenes of violence and full-frontal nudity. Your work may not approve]

For this video, Mylène is a charismatic woman who incites rebellion at Oliver Twist's workhouse. Triumphantly, like La Liberté guidant le peuple, she leads the inmates out: but what is their future, and will they survive it? Generally interpreted as a comment on messianism, how one person can lead a whole people so far, but will abandon them when things get a bit difficult.

As we say, French culture took this to their heart. Nine weeks as the best-selling single in France, where it remains the biggest-selling single by a woman. (Didn't win at the Victoires de la musique awards, losing to a song by William Sheller.) Cracked the Euro-Chart Top Ten, and even though the English-language syndicators didn't like host Pat Sharp to play singles in foreign, they had to make an exception as "Désenchantée" rose up.

The song's had limited success outside France: a dance-pop cover by Kate Ryan hit the mark in 2002, and we see that symphonic metal band Exit Eden have done a version. There's an homage to the lyric in Electronic's 1992 single "Disappointed".

Mylène Farmer continues to record, and continues to tour. She releases an album every few years, sells out huge arenas, makes the most eye-popping stage shows. It's a complete aural and visual mood. She hasn't had any other massive hit singles; parent album L'autre is probably the easiest to get into, I think 1995's Anamorphosée is her career peak -- so far!

[weaversweek]

23 "Doo-wop (that thing)" - Lauryn Hill

writer Lauryn Hill

"We all sing along gladly to a song that, when you actually sit with the lyrics, it's deeply spiritual. She's dealing with self-esteem, integrity, self-respect … it's a sermon that's also a bop, even to this day." - Danielle "Queen D" Scott

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is an album with lots to say, and says it efficiently. It's a manifesto about love, life, a hymn to a society still not addressing its foundational racism. And it's just about the only statement of Hill's belief: she's been more-or-less mute since 1998.

Lauryn Hill contains multitudes. They're all on the album. Most of them are on this single: exciting, vibrant, honest, raw, a slice of life as seen by someone with lots to say. Musically, it's drawn from Motown roots, a singalong chorus that could have fallen from decades earlier.

Emotionally, it's a lesson from your bigger and more experienced sister. It's a sharp retort to materialism, measuring your fellow man by the size of his metal collection. It's a critique of shallow relationships: love hard, or don't love at all. Lauryn chides women for hiding their brilliance, "being a hard rock when they really are a gem"; she tuts at men who claim to be "big men" and abandon their children without a care in the world.

And there are references to religion "sleeping with the Djinn, now that was the sin that did Jezebel in", dosh "all about the Benjamins", and ends with a plea "How you gonna win, when you ain't right within?"

The video is a work of art: the split-screen effect melds New York in 1998 with that of 1967, moving from one to another in the blink of an eye, and often appearing in the same shot. Deserved winner at the MTVVMAs in 1999.

Lauryn's stepped back from the limelight, and bring up her six children; she also suggests that others in the music industry were threatened by her success, and haven't been falling over themselves to release a follow-up. Which is a tremendous waste of talent.

"Doo-wop (that thing)" was the first Billboard number one single to be written, produced, and performed by one woman since the heyday of Debbie Gibson - I had her generational anthem "Electric youth" at number 60 in my top 50.

[weaversweek]

25 "Step by step" - Whitney Houston

writer Annie Lennox

"Being around people like Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Dionne Warwick and Roberta Flack, all these greats, I was taught to listen and observe. It had a great impact on me as a singer, as a performer, as a musician. Growing around it, you just can't help it. I identified with it immediately. It was something that was so natural to me that when I started singing, it was almost like speaking."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

One could argue that Whitney Houston was an early nepo baby. Daughter of Cissy Houston, niece of Dionne Warwick, the famous relations opened doors. But Whitney made it on her own brilliance: a superb voice, a perfect show, and the drive to succeed.

Signed up by Clive Davis of Arista Records, and made his personal priority, Whitney was granted access to the classiest songs and greatest musicians. The debut album had ballads "Saving all my love for you" and "You give good love" to show off her tender side; disco stomper "How will I know"; and a reading of "Saving all my love for you" to leave nothing on the table.

Second album Whitney had the uptempo "I wanna dance with somebody", love song "Didn't we almost have it all", and the surprisingly smutty "Love is a contact sport". Only a completely-missing-the-point version of "I know him so well" with her mum spoiled the album. After the gloopy "One moment in time", album I'm Your Baby Tonight was a one-note disco album, saved only by "All the man I need".

The Bodyguard dominated Whitney's time for a couple of years, and gave her most-remembered hit "I will always love you". A remake of A Star is Born was mooted, but never happened; instead the galpal romcom Waiting to Exhale came out in 1995 and had a hugemungous soundtrack album - it's a wonderful capsule of New Jill Swing, where American women were at. "Count on me" and "Exhale" the big singles.

The Preacher's Wife was a festive comedy for 1996, Whitney co-starred with Denzel Washington. It's mostly an update of The Bishop's Wife, with a large quotient of church music on the soundtrack album with the Georgia Mass Choir. The film was Whitney's acting highlight, simultaneously flirtatious and temptress.

"Step by step" had been written by Annie Lennox, and released as the B-side to 1992 single "Precious". Whitney's version takes a yearning song with gospel tinges, and transforms it into an uplifting house song. Age has leant Whitney some gravitas; we cannot imagine Whitney '85 making this sound. As much at home on Radio 1's club show as it was on "soft rock" 100.7 Heart FM, it reminded us that Whitney could a) make danceable music and b) when she wanted to be great, she was bloody brilliant.

Whitney only made two more full studio albums, My Love is Your Love (1998) and Just Whitney (2002), before getting lost in a mess of drink and drugs. Comeback album I Look to You (2009) was respectfully received, but her death in 2012 left so much unsung.

For me, "Step by step" and The Preacher's Wife are peak Whitney - her best acting, some of her best singing, roles she was at home performing.

Very difficult to pick just four Whitney songs - I eventually chose "How will I know", "It's not right but it's ok", and "All the man I need" for the longlist; "Step by step" the only one to make the shortlist. Brandy's "Sitting up in my room" from Waiting to Exhale also made the longlist. Annie Lennox was another act with so many quality songs - "No more 'I love you's" beat out the five singles from Diva.

[weaversweek]

26 "Last Christmas" - Wham!

writer George Michael

"It doesn't matter that the speaker misread the relationship. What matters is that we, the audience, can identify with him. And perhaps in that way, we truly learn the meaning of Christmas."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Written one afternoon in 1984, "Last Christmas" is a simple tale of love, rejection, and regret.

Last year, George met someone. They were looking for sympathy, company, perhaps a no-strings-attached shag. George wanted there to be strings, he thought there was more emotional connection than was reciprocated. And when it came, the rejection really, really stung.

For a year, George has been licking his wounds, building up this brief fling into something bigger than it really was. Hyperbole is his weapon, ideas like "your soul of ice", "you tore me apart" abound in the verses; perhaps "the very next day, you gave it away" is a similar misremembering.

And now, he's not entirely surprised to find his erstwhile paramour doesn't recognise him. George remembers, because it meant something to him; the other partner does not, because it was a one-and-done screw. However much it hurts, George has also moved on, and found someone else more worthy of his "heart".

We have to pause and consider, is there something George wasn't telling us? Note how George never declares any gender for his paramour. Lines like "a man under cover" and "you tore him apart" take on a very different meaning now that we know George was gay, and the heteronormative reading we all assumed in 1984 is almost certainly wrong.

We could interpret "Last Christmas" as a coded argument between gay men, one is prepared to acknowledge their relationship in public, the other is not. Or one wants to settle down, the other wants to screw around. Or one cannot understand why the other remains in the closet.

Whatever the meaning, "Last Christmas" is a festive record through and through. George personally supervised every note, each sleighbell, the production and the vocals - this record is George Michael from conception to wise men. The Life of a Song column noted,

"Shiny round synth baubles bounce up and down the octave as the tune takes tinsel twists around the torn-up vocal. It's a brilliant sonic evocation of how it feels to be isolated from the seasonal cheer, mustering smiles for department cashiers in elf hats before hurrying home to sob into the egg nog."

The Atlantic set the song in its greater cultural milieu:

"Christmas is also one of the few yearly rituals that the bulk of Western society still partakes in. Which means that most everyone has a memory of their Last Christmas, and everyone has aspirations for This Year (when we take measures, in vain, to be Saved From Tears). Wham! is tapping into the holiday’s unique ability to make people take stock and look ahead. "The band is also tapping into the fact that, contrary to the notion of seasonal cheer, many holiday memories are negative—tinted by sadness, loss, or anger, depending on how that year ended for you. It’s probably the bitterest Christmas tune we’ve got, and to say its bitterness keeps it from being a Christmas tune denies the nature of the holiday itself."

George recorded "Last Christmas" by himself, but the video included Andrew and Pepsi and Shirlie, model Kathy Hill, Shirlie's boyfriend Martin Kemp, and some friends. The video was filmed at Saas-Fee in Switzerland just a few weeks before the song was released; that's real November 1984 snow. The director made sure that the wine glasses contained real alcohol, and most of the cast got roaringly drunk.

An instant classic, it sold 840,000 copies by the end of 1984, a further 355,000 in 1985, and trickle-sold each Christmas. Kept off the number one spot in 1984 by Band Aid, eventually becoming the Top of the Pops Christmas number one in 2023.

It's been covered by almost everyone, in almost every style - Last-Christmas.com recognised over 200 cover versions by 2008, Second Hand Songs listed 541 versions earlier this month. George Michael never saw a penny of the royalties; he signed over the composer's rights, and his share of the performance rights, to the Band Aid trust. Spotify only pays a farthing for each stream; those farthings add up and do something good for the world.

"Last Christmas" has become so pervasive that there's an organised attempt to not hear the song during December. Whamageddon originated circa 2008, and has spawned similar efforts to avoid "Fairytale of New York" (qv) and "All I want for Christmas is you". Although I'm too polite to spoil other people's sport, I'm really not a fan of Whamageddon; it smacks of being performatively cool, has faint overtones of homophobia, and surely the point of great music is that one enjoys it. My friend Dan has the right idea: play "Last Christmas" every day during December.

Under the rules of UncoolTwo50, "Last Christmas" is aggregated with its double-A companion "Everything she wants". Having written 800 words on the other side, time does not permit me to discuss this Gramscian deconstruction of the Thatcherite settlement presented through the lens of a relationship.

Other Christmas number ones under consideration: "Always on my mind" (1987) made the 100-song shortlist, as did "Do they know it's Christmas" (1984). The 500-song longlist featured "Killing in the name" (2009), "Stay another day" (1994), and the 1986 Network Chart winner "Caravan of love". And this is the closest Spandau Ballet get to my fifty; "Gold" and "True" were both considered for the longlist.

[weaversweek]

27 "Duel" - Propaganda

Writers Susanne Freytag, Michael Mertens, Ralf Dörper & Claudia Brücken

"We can show every face, we can go in every direction."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

The sound of the apocalypse? The noise of the future?

Propaganda were artists, musicians, first and foremost. Michael Mertens played with the Dusseldorf Symphony Orchestra, Ralf Dörper an electronic wizard. Claudia sang in local band The Toppolinos, and provided the voice for "Duel". They were signed to work with Paul Morley before he had invented Zang Tumb Tumm records.

It's a dark, brooding song. An argument between two lovers, who slowly wear each other down before making the decisive blow. Like all good songs, "Duel" asks the same questions in different ways. It circles back upon itself, never quite going where we expect it to go. It's literally a record of time: measure the seconds by the keyboard figure, measure the minutes by the rhyme scheme, the hours by the elephant clock chiming.

An entry point to a dark and unsettling world, the press at the time wittered on about mass culture and technology and beauty and desire and quoted Poe and Walter Benjamin at us. Propaganda reminded us - told us - that there is more to life than shiny disposable pop, that modern music can cut the mustard with that boring classical stuff.

"Duel" is a counterpoint to "Dr. Mabuse", which had been a modest hit the previous spring. Probably should have come out much sooner, but ZTT were a small label and chose to launch Frankie Goes to Hollywood around the world, and hence put Propaganda on the back burner for a year. The delay didn't help the group - album A Secret Wish was the two singles stretched thin.

The original lineup split because their original contract was so onerous they would never earn royalties; a similar fate befell Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Another group called Propaganda (Mertens remained, Freytag and Dörper contributed, most of the music by two blokes from Simple Minds and a session singer) released an album in 1990. I have a soft spot for the single "Heaven give me words", mostly because it's writer Howard Jones' great lost hit.

Other ZTT acts under consideration: The Art of Noise made the 100-song shortlist with "Close (to the edit)". Longlist spots for "Slave to the rhythm" from Grace Jones, "Two tribes" from Frankie, 808 State's "Cübik", and Tom Jones' "If I only knew".

[weaversweek]

28 "Closer to fine" - Indigo Girls

writer Emily Saliers

"I had graduated from college and I was thinking a lot about the insular world of academia, and how the one thing I learned in school is that you can't believe everything you read or hear."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

How do you make your life a little better? Whatever way works for you.

Emily Saliers and Amy Ray met while still at school in Decatur Georgia, and started recording music together while at college. They write separately, record together. Theirs is gentle folk rock, strumming guitars and lilting melodies, the sting is in the arrangements and especially in the lyric. Being from Georgia, they've had influences and a bit of a leg-up from the B-52s and R.E.M., and they've proven as enduring as their peers.

"Closer to fine" was the lead single from their eponymous second album, and almost turned them into stratosphere-level pop stars. American college radio was all over it, pop stations got interested in another Suzanne Vega / Tracy Chapman. The gals played significant dates across Europe, supporting 10,000 Maniacs at the Albert Hall.

And they did a lot of press - interviews in the New Musical Express (Incorporating Accordian Times) and Snouds were de rigeur, pieces in The Times and Het Grauniad came as no surprise. But pop mag Smash Hits? The Indy (a cross between The Independent newspaper and John Craven's Newsround)? Someone wants the Indigo Girls to be huge.

The world was at their feet, and they chose not to pursue superstardom. Rather, Amy and Emily stayed true to their own values, made the music they could make, built their close-knit fanbase, and slowly grew into pillars of the lesbian community. (Compare how modern Sheffield troubadour Lucy Spraggan chose not to be a mega-pop-star.)

It takes bravery to turn back from superstar status, and courage to use star power for controversial causes - Southern Poverty Law Centre, pro-choice campaigns, indigenous rights, boycotting the erstwhile Michigan Womyn's Music Festival over its trans-exclusionary policies.

"Closer to fine" won the Grammy for Best Contemporary Folk Recording. They lost in the Best Newcomer Grammy category (sponsored by Memorex) to Milli Vanilli. They won in the 2023 Barbie movie, being sung in context at the film's pivotal moment. Director Greta Gerwig noted, "'Closer to fine' is just one of those songs that meets you where you are, wherever you are. It has spoken to me throughout my life, like a novel you revisit."

What is the song about? There is no simple answer. That's the answer: there is no simple answer. The lyric twists and turns, has melodic point and counterpoint, tuneful tonic and a dash of gin, always building to the singalong chorus. It's the traditional closer to Indigo Girls concerts, let the audience leave happy and contented, a massive group hug.

If there is such a thing as the lesbian national anthem, this may be it.