#uncooltwo50

[weaversweek]

41 "Wuthering Heights" - Kate Bush

Written by Kate Bush

“There was a full moon, the curtains were open and it came quite easily.”

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Aged 18, young Kate took inspiration from one of the great Gothic novels, and fashioned a whole performance. It's the most audacious, fearless, quietly feminist art performance - possibly of my lifetime.

Musically, the song has a lot to unpack: harmonic progressions, vocal yelps going here and there, a guitar solo that fades in at the end and dominates everything. And nobody cares for the music theory.

Written in the first weekend of March 1977, Kate found herself channelling the spirit of namesake Catherine Earnshaw, and her forbidden love for Heathcliff. Committed to vinyl over the summer, backed by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, and passed to Capital Radio in November '77, but a change in the artwork postponed release to January '78. The press got it wrong. "B-O-R-I-N-G", wrote Record Mirror. "Manufactured entirely to be consumed" said the New Musical Express (Incorporating Accordian Times). And nobody cares for the details.

We care for the emotion. Kate had taken lessons from mime artist Lindsay Kemp, she'd been dancing and theatrical since a very young age. She embodies the song, and the song is an extension of her.

Kate did Top of the Pops on 16 February, all flaring hair, sheer black top, red trews, and black stiletto heels. It's behind-the-sofa stuff, Kate is as scary and unnerving as a demented witch. This is "Wuthering Heights"? Blimey.

And the rest is history. Top-selling single two weeks later, and Kate had a level of superstardom we'd later associate with Duran Duran, Take That, or Little Mix. Unlike those others, Kate had the agency to take her career her own way: didn't tour after 1979, took long breaks to hone later albums. More in a future entry…

For the list, I've imposed a massive penalty on acts with more than one single - it's removed a second Madonna from the top 50 (goodbye "Open your heart"), ensured we only have one Alanis Morissette ("Hand in my pocket", farewell), a single Tori Amos ("Silent all these years" and "Crucify" both drop off). Kate Bush gets two into the top 50, the only performer to achieve the feat.

[weaversweek]

"Never gonna give you up" - Rick Astley

Written by Stock, Aitken, Waterman

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

An obscure Northern Soul song, performed by an aspiring singer-songwriter from Newton-le-Willows near Manchester.

Very little is remembered about this singer, it is suggested that he was "a bit of a muso", and that he went into the studio to "improve my songwriting and my singing".

The tune is pleasantly insistent, though instantly dated to the late eighties. An insistent tinny drum beat kicks in, followed by a cheap keyboard line. Lyrically, it's interesting, the chorus triumphantly declaims a number of things Rick won't do for his paramour, perhaps this inspired a later work by Steinmann and Loaf.

The vocals are the best part of the song, Rick delivers a top-notch soul vocal - quite remarkable for someone of just 21 years. Seriously, give this song a listen, the lad has got remarkable pipes.

Sadly, Rick's time in the pop world was desperately short, and these days almost nobody remembers his one minor hit. It's certainly never used by lazy columnists trying to make their career advice somehow relevant.

Something less obscure tomorrow.

[weaversweek]

26 "Last Christmas" - Wham!

writer George Michael

"It doesn't matter that the speaker misread the relationship. What matters is that we, the audience, can identify with him. And perhaps in that way, we truly learn the meaning of Christmas."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Written one afternoon in 1984, "Last Christmas" is a simple tale of love, rejection, and regret.

Last year, George met someone. They were looking for sympathy, company, perhaps a no-strings-attached shag. George wanted there to be strings, he thought there was more emotional connection than was reciprocated. And when it came, the rejection really, really stung.

For a year, George has been licking his wounds, building up this brief fling into something bigger than it really was. Hyperbole is his weapon, ideas like "your soul of ice", "you tore me apart" abound in the verses; perhaps "the very next day, you gave it away" is a similar misremembering.

And now, he's not entirely surprised to find his erstwhile paramour doesn't recognise him. George remembers, because it meant something to him; the other partner does not, because it was a one-and-done screw. However much it hurts, George has also moved on, and found someone else more worthy of his "heart".

We have to pause and consider, is there something George wasn't telling us? Note how George never declares any gender for his paramour. Lines like "a man under cover" and "you tore him apart" take on a very different meaning now that we know George was gay, and the heteronormative reading we all assumed in 1984 is almost certainly wrong.

We could interpret "Last Christmas" as a coded argument between gay men, one is prepared to acknowledge their relationship in public, the other is not. Or one wants to settle down, the other wants to screw around. Or one cannot understand why the other remains in the closet.

Whatever the meaning, "Last Christmas" is a festive record through and through. George personally supervised every note, each sleighbell, the production and the vocals - this record is George Michael from conception to wise men. The Life of a Song column noted,

"Shiny round synth baubles bounce up and down the octave as the tune takes tinsel twists around the torn-up vocal. It's a brilliant sonic evocation of how it feels to be isolated from the seasonal cheer, mustering smiles for department cashiers in elf hats before hurrying home to sob into the egg nog."

The Atlantic set the song in its greater cultural milieu:

"Christmas is also one of the few yearly rituals that the bulk of Western society still partakes in. Which means that most everyone has a memory of their Last Christmas, and everyone has aspirations for This Year (when we take measures, in vain, to be Saved From Tears). Wham! is tapping into the holiday’s unique ability to make people take stock and look ahead. "The band is also tapping into the fact that, contrary to the notion of seasonal cheer, many holiday memories are negative—tinted by sadness, loss, or anger, depending on how that year ended for you. It’s probably the bitterest Christmas tune we’ve got, and to say its bitterness keeps it from being a Christmas tune denies the nature of the holiday itself."

George recorded "Last Christmas" by himself, but the video included Andrew and Pepsi and Shirlie, model Kathy Hill, Shirlie's boyfriend Martin Kemp, and some friends. The video was filmed at Saas-Fee in Switzerland just a few weeks before the song was released; that's real November 1984 snow. The director made sure that the wine glasses contained real alcohol, and most of the cast got roaringly drunk.

An instant classic, it sold 840,000 copies by the end of 1984, a further 355,000 in 1985, and trickle-sold each Christmas. Kept off the number one spot in 1984 by Band Aid, eventually becoming the Top of the Pops Christmas number one in 2023.

It's been covered by almost everyone, in almost every style - Last-Christmas.com recognised over 200 cover versions by 2008, Second Hand Songs listed 541 versions earlier this month. George Michael never saw a penny of the royalties; he signed over the composer's rights, and his share of the performance rights, to the Band Aid trust. Spotify only pays a farthing for each stream; those farthings add up and do something good for the world.

"Last Christmas" has become so pervasive that there's an organised attempt to not hear the song during December. Whamageddon originated circa 2008, and has spawned similar efforts to avoid "Fairytale of New York" (qv) and "All I want for Christmas is you". Although I'm too polite to spoil other people's sport, I'm really not a fan of Whamageddon; it smacks of being performatively cool, has faint overtones of homophobia, and surely the point of great music is that one enjoys it. My friend Dan has the right idea: play "Last Christmas" every day during December.

Under the rules of UncoolTwo50, "Last Christmas" is aggregated with its double-A companion "Everything she wants". Having written 800 words on the other side, time does not permit me to discuss this Gramscian deconstruction of the Thatcherite settlement presented through the lens of a relationship.

Other Christmas number ones under consideration: "Always on my mind" (1987) made the 100-song shortlist, as did "Do they know it's Christmas" (1984). The 500-song longlist featured "Killing in the name" (2009), "Stay another day" (1994), and the 1986 Network Chart winner "Caravan of love". And this is the closest Spandau Ballet get to my fifty; "Gold" and "True" were both considered for the longlist.

[weaversweek]

1 "Since yesterday" - Strawberry Switchblade

writers Rose McDowall, Jill Bryson

12 points (DOUZE POINT!)

Like sixteen swans taking flight at once!

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Jill: "We get different categories of letter. Ones like 'we think you're a really great pop group', ones from people struggling in other groups saying 'can we support you' and really long, dead sincere letters. I like the long sincere ones the best."

Strawberry Switchblade met at Glasgow School of Art; originally a four-piece, they slimmed down to Rose and Jill. The group was named after a fanzine written by Orange Juice that never came out; it took its name from a James Kirk song.

They hung out on the fringes of the Postcard Records scene, and were particularly close to Edwyn Collins and his group Orange Juice. Supported them on a tour in late 1982, and seemed to be on the gentle nursery slopes, the fringes of fame without ever breaking through to the public consciousness.

Strawberry Switchblade are deceptively strong and marvellously strange. The knowledge that Rose used to be in a group called the Poems who once made a single financed, at least partly, by shoplifting tends to imbue her current endeavours with a somewhat sterner significance. Their songs are sometimes cute, sometimes irksome, sometimes fun, sometimes twee. If I was 10 they'd be on my wall. -- Mick Sinclair, Zig Zag

"Since yesterday" started life as "Dance", changing almost the entire lyric over three years before being released to the world in late 1984. Its minor-key horn riff comes from Sibelius's fifth symphony - the third movement has a recurring motif inspired by swan calls. Perhaps that's what proved key to their success - here's something vaguely familiar, being re-interpreted and literally shattered before our ears.

despite the ribbons and bows falling from their curls, the sentiments that Rose McDowall and Jill Bryson project through their songs are often as pretty as Lou Reed's sugar-coated 'Heroin'. For these two girls, Scots by birth, populist and perverse by and large, are not in the business of soft selling sweet Pop. After all, the twist in the name Strawberry Switchblade could hardly be anything but intentional. -- Adrian Devoy, International Musician and Recording World

"Since yesterday" became an unlikely, unexpected, and wholly welcome hit in early 1985. It opened doors for Rose and Jill to rub shoulders with some of the biggest names in pop...

Until he accepts his second award - after which he leaves - Prince and his two bodyguards sit at the same table as Strawberry Switchblade. "What did you talk to me about?" I ask them. "We were struck dumb," confesses Jill. Apparently there was no conversation whatsoever. -- Neil Tennant, Smash Hits

...but it proved to be the one and only hit. A number of other singles from Strawberry Switchblade fell short of the top 40, and the group broke up a little later.

They'd made an impression.

ROSE AND JILL of Strawberry Switchblade may look like Macbeth's weird witches but sisters they aren't. "We actually think we dress quite differently," complains Jill, "but other people still get the wrong name in the third meeting!" Rose remembers having a polka dot dress when she was wee and claims that, "everyone wears polka dots when they're six months old." Once the girls had polka dots everything just evolved. "If you get the idea, everything just seems to sprout from it…" Everything includes all kinds of accessories, from earrings that look like chandeliers to ribbons that are almost floor-length. Strawberry Switchblade have fertile heads like overgrown gardens and hair like Egyptian haystacks. Witches always invent themselves. Why else would the church have burned them but for their independence and knowledge of nature? After punk, Rose and Jill formed a group and began to learn guitar (not necessarily in that order). Their inspiration came from the softer songs of the Velvet Underground. As followers of Orange Juice, Aztec Camera and the rest will know, everyone in Glasgow has the Velvets "Banana" album on the coffee table. Next year we'll be hearing a lot of Strawberry Switchblade's quietly haunting songs, folk ballads on the eerie side of twee. Meanwhile the girls are concerned to convey the right impression. "People expect us to sound punky because of the make-up so we try to smile a lot to reassure them: we're lovely people, really. The people who hear our music tend to describe it as 'lovely or nice or beautiful' rather than 'great'. Everybody can be great — not everybody can be lovely. Our main problem is the ribbons falling on to the guitar strings while we're playing. We need a ribbon roadie and someone who'll iron our clothes before we go onstage. Oh, and someone to tune the guitars…" -- Mark Cooper, Record Mirror

Some would argue that Strawberry Switchblade still influence fashion. They brought a certain style, sweet polka dots and malevolent attitude, and it clicked with the people of Japan. Did Rose and Jill spark off the enduring "Gothic Lolita" scene? Certainly they're well-remembered and well-loved - I haven't had to go deep into The Internet Archive to find Strawberry Switchblade.net, servicing fans since 2005.

Life has inflection points. They were on the cover of Smash Hits magazine. Inside was a gripping feature on Band Aid, and some serious writing about trivial subjects. Writers like Sylvia Patterson, Mark Ellen, Linda Duff, Dave Rimmer, and the masterful work of Tom Hibbert. Their mixture of breezy chat and intense knowledge is something I try to replicate - in the Week, and in this collection of essays.

Pop music changes lives. Random chance changes lives. I wouldn’t be the same person without a chain of events kicked off by “Since yesterday”, and that’s why it gets the lot - token, teatowel, and my DOUZE POINTS.

Thanks to #UncoolTwo50 sponsor and numbercruncher Arron. And to you for reading, if indeed you still are.

[weaversweek]

9 "Take a chance on me" - ABBA

writers Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvæus

A toe-tapping tune, a simple, sing-a-long lyric. Short and direct. That is the ABBA sound.

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

ABBA at their most energetic, forceful, and ubiquitous. "Take a chance on me" came out in early 1978, and followed "The name of the game" and "Knowing me, knowing you" to the top spot.

The rhythm is at a pace like someone jogging, which is good because it was inspired by Björn's keep fit regime. 107 bpm is a good cadence for a serious jogger, and the "tsh-tsh-tsh" of trainers on damp city streets quickly became "take a chance, take a chance".

Production is immaculate, even by ABBA's standards. The lads created a wall of sound: polytracked vocals, guitar bass and drums, all layered to get in your ear and stay there. And the film clip, of the various members of the group flirting with each other in a split-screen.

Although the group was evolving, growing up, maturing, there was still a place to be playful. There was still a market for catchy and upbeat love songs, as the Grease soundtrack would prove later in the year. They were massively popular - could have filled the Albert Hall 300 times over

Because it's such an insistent and happy song, it became a staple on radio, and the obvious target of Erasure's affections on their 1992 "Abba-esque" ep (on my longlist of 500, redundant to the originals). The song has a disposable part in the musical Mamma Mia!, sung by comedy sidekick Rosie as she seeks some company. It's been covered by The Chipmunks, James Last, Awolnation, and many many more.

It's the song construction that wins me over. Benny and Björn compose and arrange their songs at the same time, they bear comparison to Burt Bacharach and Irving Berlin. The songs are like those really expensive analogue watches: sure, you can dismantle an ABBA song, but it only works again if you put it together in the same way.

[weaversweek]

14 "You oughta know" - Alanis Morissette

Music - Alanis Morissette & Glen Ballard; Lyric - Alanis Morissette

"This record came from a place in me I had to release. A lot of the anger comes from the fact that I didn't face it, out of fear, the whole Pollyanna approach I had when I was younger. I denied myself any revelling in my darker side. But as soon as I started writing, I came to terms with it."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Has there ever been a bigger career reinvention than Alanis? Two teeny-pop bubblegum albums in the early 1990s, and then she went away, and came back with… this. We'd seen Edgier and Darker reinventions over the years (Siobhan Fahey the most famous), but this was something else.

Most of us, of course, had never been exposed to Alanis's brief teenpop career, and this was our introduction. Angry and bitter, vituperative and spiteful, Alanis is raw and honest and exposes her soul to the world's judgement. The lyric is a litany of curses, promises broken by her ex. Memories of the times they shared are transmuted into scars:

"And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, 'til you died? But you're still alive."

"You oughta know" came in while I was working in a record shop. We had so many people stroll up to the counter and say they'd heard this angry woman sing and shout on the radio, do we know what the song is? Ended up keeping a couple of copies behind the counter: yeah, we know the song, yours for £2.

Hit a chord with a lot of people, "You oughta know" became a cathartic shout for everyone who felt wronged by their ex. Canadian newsmag Macleans went to a concert. "She's not like other female singers," said 29-year-old Toronto receptionist Tracey S after the show. "She's strong, without being bitchy. And men are into her as much as women."

The album, Jagged Little Pill, was a grower - slowly moved up the rankings through the autumn, didn't hit the summit until "Ironic" became a single in spring '96. The album's mostly Alanis ranting against her ex (or exes), but "Head over feet" is an atypical sweet song, and "Not the doctor" shows signs of hope for the future. Billboard summed it up, "her wounded outrage mingles with a gathering courage that gives the listener a giddy desire to cheer her on".

Alanis's success proved that real people were interested in women expressing their emotions. It's easy to spot the influences - Liz Phair's uninhibited songwriting, instrumentation from Beck, perhaps Sheryl Crow's dark side. More difficult to pinpoint any particular act who followed in her footsteps, but I suspect that the whole Lilith Fair project would not have been so successful without her paving the ground. Future albums cannoned off in all directions - follow-up album Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie was all Indian rhythms, and she's since gone to pop, acoustic work, and most recently some serene meditative work.

Denied by radio at the time - a good number of spins on Radio 1 and Liverpool's Radio City, a handful on Virgin Quarter Past Twelve, and that's it - "You oughta know" has become a regular on the wireless, getting into almost as many ears now as it did in summer 1995. And, for all that, Alanis really isn't a great singer: I've ranked this on emotion and selling the story, not particularly on technical merit.

And all this from the brunette kid on You Can't Do That on TV!. It's as if Bonnie Langford had released two twee-pop albums, gone away, and come back blowing things up with cans of nitroglycerin.

Other songs about oral sex include "Not tonight" by Lil Kim, TLC's "Red light special", pretty much everything by L7, and "C'est la vie" by B*Witched.

[weaversweek]

16 "Winter" - Tori Amos

writer Tori Amos

"You must learn to stand up for yourself, cause I can't always be around."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Johnnie Walker is to blame - or thank - for this one. He hosted The AM Alternative, a topical discussion show on Radio 5, where he'd mix chat about life with his personal pick of music. Think of BBC1's Morning Live at a more relaxed pace, and with Gethin "dropping" some "choice" cuts.

One of his faves was this siren-like girl singer, plinking away at the piano, running gorgeous cadences on "Silent all these years". Wasn't a hit single, but primed us to pay attention to the album, and to the next release. And that was "Winter".

A curious release for the start of spring, it's a melancholy tune, wistful with an air of nostalgia. During the course of the song, the narrator goes from maiden to mother to crone, how some things change but some truths - like finding your soul mate - are eternal.

Tori's best known as a pianist; here, a sparse 'cello line adds a sonorous undertone, emphasising the gravity of the lyric, bringing out the emotion in the story. And all this from someone still in her thirties, someone who's barely moving out of her maiden phase? Blimey.

Through the piece, Tori makes the case that change is going to happen whether we like it or not, and we will be better if we embrace it rather than try to resist. It's a lot of emotional work, sometimes a bit too much to handle in one sitting. And the emotion is magnified by the stark arrangement: a little light instrumentation is all we have to distract from the voice. Great music speaks to the soul: Tori Amos knows how to speak to the soul.

Generally acknowledged as one of the greatest examples of songcraft in Tori Amos's canon, and hence one of the greatest songs of the 1990s. I'm not aware that anyone has released a worthwhile cover, and I'm not particularly interested to hear any cover, which must say something good about the song.

[weaversweek]

29 "Piano in the dark" - Brenda Russell

writer Brenda Russell, Jeff Hull, Scott Cutler

"Write from your heart for yourself because that's your highest point."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

It's late October, the nights are drawing in. Take an evening for yourself: lights down low, mug of hot chocolate, perhaps the company of someone you like. Listen to Brenda Russell's album Get Here. It's got the song you know from Oleta Adams' singing. It's got "Le restaurant", with a smooth jazzy solo. And, at the centre, "Piano in the dark".

The song of a woman who is a little bored, who thinks about moving on to some other bloke. Perhaps she wants variety, perhaps he's not getting it up. And then he sits down at the piano, and all the worries and cares wash away, she remembers why she still likes him.

Brenda's performance is someone who utterly owns the song, it is a part of her. The vocals are gentle and warm, like the Caramel Bunny. The piano part is an extension to the words, everything meshes so beautifully. Joe Esposito provides the backing vocals, and the instrumentation is sparse without ever being light.

Label boss Herb Alpert insisted that this would be the first single from the album, on the reasonably simple grounds that it evokes a mood, the late-night doubts being soothed away, like the cards Brenda tosses in the video.

Nominated for the Song of the Year Grammy, but lost to "Don't worry, be happy" (which I haven't seen nominated by anyone in #UncoolTwo50, which feels about right).

[weaversweek]

33 "Birdhouse in your soul" - They Might Be Giants

Writers: John Linnell & John Flansburgh

"Little more than exceptionally innovative busking" - Melody Maker

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

"John Flansburgh then asked the audience to rise for the They Might Be Giants anthem."

"Around the time we were starting, a lot of American bands went to England, made a huge splash there, and rode the wave back across the Atlantic. We thought we'd do that too - but it didn't happen." - John Linnell.

"Flood is a tour de force of charm, ideas, and - above all - brevity." - Snouds

"The song's narrator is a blue nightlight, but he's shaped like a canary, so he compares himself to a proverbial bee in the bonnet. Then his luminescence leads him to a comparison with a painting of a lighthouse, which reminds him of the myth of Jason and the Argonauts. Along the way, the lyrics hyperlink to midcentury wristwatches and congressional procedural maneuvers, while the music pays tribute to the Lovin' Spoonful's "Summer in the city". (A choice, John Linnell notes, that "corny as it sounds", was inspired by the brutal heat of the summer of 1989 when they were recording the album). The song is barely three minutes long, but it changes keys 18 times. And let’s not even try to make sense of the video." - Stale

"The thing is, there are so many syllables in the songs that we have to come up with something to fill the spaces. So it ends up being kind of Gilbert and Sullivany." - John Linnell again.

[weaversweek]

42 "I'd do anything for love (but I won't do that)" - Meat Loaf

Written by Jim Steinman

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

In the beginning, there was the combination of heaven and hell. Jim Steinman's gothic fantasy, brought to something larger than life by Meat Loaf. The album Bat Out of Hell captured forked lightning in a bottle.

Like a pair of starcross'd lovers, Loaf and Steinman went their separate ways. Meat Loaf made the copycat album Dead Ringer, which wasn't as good, and a couple of others were even less good, and he pretty much dropped off the cultural radar in the mid-80s.

Jim Steinman worked with Bonnie Tyler on her most bombastic singles, Air Supply, the Sisters of Mercy, turned down Andrew Lloyd Webber, and many more. By 1989, he'd come up with his masterplan - Pandora's Box, an all-woman hard rock band, who would sing tortured tales of love like "It's all coming back to me now". In spite of huge publicity, Pandora's Box flopped.

The two men reunited, got tinkling the ivories, and rediscovered their love for pop opera. Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell took everything we remembered from the original, and cranked it up to twelve. The title line is reprised from something Steinman wrote for Bonnie Tyler. The motorbike sound is reprised from Meat Loaf's life. The duet at the end is with Lorraine Crosby, one of the lead singers from Pandora's Box. The sense of drama is heightened by the video, where Dana Patrick plays the love interest. It's a full-on mini-movie, where Mr. Loaf comes to accept himself through the power of love, complete with a Falling Chandelier of Doom.

Some people who didn't pay attention to the lyric are confused by what "That" is. Terribly simple: Mr. Loaf explains what he will do, (run right into hell and back, never stop loving you, pray to the deity of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll), and then a counterexample of what he will not (do it better than I do it with you, stop dreamin' of you every night of my life). The chorus refers back to all these counter-examples, as "I won't do that". Honestly, it's just as simple as "Never gonna give you up" (qv).

Originally written as a fifteen-minute epic, shaved down to 12 minutes for the album, the video runs about nine minutes, and the single version is 7-and-a-half. Unless you're listening to Virgin 1215, where they made a ham-fisted three-and-three-quarter minute edit, which completely ruined the point. This song is a luxurious bath, not a quick shower!

Massive and huge and a career peak for both men. For this project, I also considered Meat Loaf's "Modern girl", an under-appreciated classic; "It's all coming back to me now" in versions by both Pandora's Box and Céline Dion; "Holding out for a hero" and "Total eclipse of the heart" from Steinman's work with Bonnie Tyler; and "No matter what" except Meat Loaf's version was only ever a B-side.

[weaversweek]

4 "Im nin'alu" - Ofra Haza

writers Shabazy, Rabbi Shalom-Shabazi

When I first plotted out the #UncoolTwo50 bonuses, I was reasonably certain of four of them - the three yet to come, and "Like a prayer". The fifth spot was open. While testing the tunes, I found "Like a prayer" had lost magic, and "Buffalo stance" had more meaning. And that "Im nin'alu" was an under-rated classic that seems to have eluded other commentators.

ELF POINTS - 11 points

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Ofra Haza was born on 19 November 1957 in Tel Aviv's poor Hatikva Quarter. At the age of 12 she joined a local theatre group where she excelled at acting and singing; she was eventually signed by manager Bezalel Aloni. One of Israel's most popular singers, Ofra had a voice of flawless tone, able to move through many styles; she was regularly described as "The Madonna of the East".

Her second album, Yemenite Songs (later released as Fifty Gates of Wisdom), was a thank you to her family - it's an album of devotional poems and secular street songs passed down from her Yemeni ancestors. Wally Brill, a producer who would later work with Ofra, explained what the album meant: "There has always been a sort of chav culture in Israel. The notion of Ofra becoming this poster girl of world music was surreal. It's on a par with Cheryl Cole deciding that her next album will comprise of Northumbrian fishing shanties."

"Im nin'alu" began as a Hebrew poem written in the 17th-century by Rabbi Shalom Shabazi. The opening line, "Im nin'alu daltei n'divim daltei marom lo nin'alu" translates as "Even if the gates of the rich are closed, the gates of heaven will never be closed". Originally released in Israel on Fled Anita in January '85, the single started to pick up airplay in Europe towards the middle of 1987. Grant Goddard from the Israeli station Kol Hashalom (The Voice Of Peace) started writing letters of recommendation to DJs all over Europe. "I played it heavily in 1985;" says Goddard, "and I was convinced it could have wider appeal."

John Peel played Ofra's later single "Galbi", and delved into her catalogue. Slowly the rest of Europe started tuning into the Haza phenomenon. Several sections of Haza's music were sampled onto other popular house and hip-hop recordings, not least Eric B & Rakim's "Paid in full" and M|A|R|R|S's "Pump up the volume". "Im nin'alu" became the first song primarily in Yemenite to hit the top twenty here.

The combination of traditional Yemeni instruments and Western disco, topped with some very effective scratching, was highly innovative for any recording. Album Shaday has some spectacular reworkings of these traditional folk tunes, married with contemporary-for-1988 dance beats; it's also got some bland pop, so be prepared to skip.

Ofra Haza took part in the Eurovision Song Contest four times, finishing second in 1983. She'd voice Yocheved, the mother of Moses, in 1998 film The Prince of Egypt, and sung the film's big song "Deliver us". It would turn out to be her last big release; Ofra Haza dies of AIDS-related illnesses in February 2000.

The song is just so very different, it's a complete culture shock when it turns up on Top of the Pops, nestled between Debbie Gibson and Scritti Politti. For three minutes, we're taken out of our "May half-term starts tomorrow" reverie, and taken into a world of exotic promise, unfamiliar and somehow we know we'll be safe.

Also… "Im nin'alu" dates to the 17th century, so it's the second-oldest song on my list, younger than "Coisice a ruin" (qv). Debbie Gibson put "Electric youth" into the top 60, I just couldn't find space for this song, however much it defines my generation. Scritti Politti are like the white chocolate Green Gartside loves; fine in small doses, but I can't stand them for long. "Wood beez (pray like Aretha Franklin)" longlisted.

[weaversweek]

5 "Buffalo stance" - Neneh Cherry

writers Neneh Cherry, Cameron McVey, Jamie Morgan, Phillip Ramacon

It's 7.12 on 22 December. Happy new year! 1989 starts right here, right now.

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

ELF POINTS (11 points)

Moving from Stockholm to London, young Neneh Cherry was inspired with the Buffalo Collective, the group of creatives associated with Ray Petri. Petri died in 1989 after developing his own vision of "hard" street fashion in The Face and creating the kind of self-sufficient street cool that emerged in the early boxer shorts-and-Levi's ads. Neneh was less into the actual art - that was Cameron's passion. No, she appreciated the punk ethic of getting on and doing stuff.

Neneh burst into everyone's attention in late 1988, with this "Buffalo stance" song. Tim Simenon's production adds layers to the song, there's a funky mix and a cracking guitar lick to enjoy. But let's not mansplain the song; although quick to acknowledge the team of men behind her, Neneh only made the impression through her own work.

It's about female strength, female power, female attitude. It's a bold song, Neneh knows what she wants to say, and she seizes the moment by the scruff of the neck. It's hip-hop beats, it's soul riffs, if's a carefree swagger full of confidence, all sung-rapped by a frizzy-haired young woman in a shiny copper top wearing a massive medallion around her neck.

There's a proper singalong chorus - "who's looking good today, who's looking good in every way?" And there's a catchy keyboard riff. "Indie guitar meets hardcore rap in perfect hip hop pop. Bold, exciting, and not like anything you've heard before", according to Record Mirror.

"Buffalo stance" is based on an obscure b-side by Morgan-McVey (a duo, the latter is the future Mr. Cherry), chopped up and messed around by hip and happening producer Tim Simenon. It's completely of its time, and it's got a certain something to stand out from the rest of the dance dross around at the moment.

The titular Buffalo Stance, we learn, is a group of young women like Neneh, huddling over to protect each other from gigolos and moneymen - by extension, from all the shit in the world. It's all delivered with sass and verve, and one of the worst cockney accents since Dick Van Duck.

Record Mirror got it, saying it's "the best pop dance record since our lady's "Into the groove". Hip hop merges with a kind of rap and dances round the outside and into the big wide world of 1989." What I didn't realise straightaway was just how important this message was to our peers. By the time school resumed on 9 January, all the young women in class were quoting this song - as a philosophy, not just the aesthetics.

And she appeared on Top of the Pops while pregnant. First person to do that since Alison Moyet, if we're not mistaken. Neneh's very visible lump added to the message: this is someone taking control of her life, doing things in her way and not in any other way. It's an audacious rebuke to the patriarchy. Neneh told Q magazine,

the kind of sexuality on my record is very different to most of the stuff you hear on black radio in the States. So much of it is all the same, all that 'Ooh, baby' and all that boring sex talk. You usually hear all those guys just singing like there's 20 chicks hanging off their arm. I've no time for all that Carry On Bonking stuff where people have to go out and pick somebody up so that they can be somebody with the lads or their girlfriends the next day.

Follow-up single "Manchild" proved she was no one-hit wonder, and the album Raw Like Sushi demonstrated maturity and conscience. But there were bumps in the road: a planned tour supporting the Fine Young Cannibals ended after one date, after which Neneh collapsed through exhaustion. She did return to pick up Best Newcomer at the Smash Hits awards, voted by the kids she was influencing.

How good was Neneh? A year later, there was a hit, "Got to get" by Rob 'n' Razz featuring Leila K. Attention was on Leila K, a young rapper from Stockholm, of mixed heritage. "Got to get" is an A-grade song: great hooks, builds well, Leila K is a seriously good rapper. But when we compare it to "Buffalo stance", we find "Got to get" is too polished, Leila's rap about rapping pales against Neneh's rap about life and society. Leila K gave us an awesome groove, Neneh Cherry gave us a whole flippin' philosophy.

In the years since, Neneh has consistently made great records, if not hit records. Homebrew had its moments, Man had a corking James Brown re-make, and there's the "7 seconds" phenomenon putting African beats into the top five during summer 1994. Very few people have dared cover "Buffalo stance", history does not reflect well on Alice in Videoland or Cher Lloyd.

"The Wild Bunch" in the lyric would later morph into Massive Attack, the trip-hop pioneers. Some argue that "Buffalo stance" inspired Madonna to write "Express yourself". The song includes some samples from "Looking good diving", which was produced by Stock Aitken Waterman and hence is technically their biggest hit on my list.

Also noted: Alison Moyet was on my 500-song longlist with "Invisible", and could have made the 100-tune shortlist. "Into the groove" was not my choice of early Madonna. Fine Young Cannibals did not tickle my fancy. I overlooked "Got to get", it deserved a place in the longlist.

[weaversweek]

7 "…Baby one more time" - Britney Spears

writer Max Martin

At what point did I promise to stay seventeen for the rest of my life?

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Over the years, the honour of Biggest Thing in Pop has changed hands a lot. From David Soul to Blondie to Spandau Ballet to Culture Club to Duran Duran, to Madonna and A-ha, to Kylie and Jason to New Kids on the Block. After a short interregnum known as the Bryan Adams error, to Take That, to Boyzone, to the Spice Girls. At the end of the UncoolTwo50 period, the Biggest Thing in Pop was Britney Spears.

Max Martin's precision songwriting, and his drilled approach to recording, make for meticulously crafted songs. Some call them cold and impersonal, and many of the post-Cherion imitators make music that is cold and impersonal and frankly rather dull (glares in Loreen's direction).

This didn't matter in late 1998, when "…Baby one more time" lit up America's Greatest Hits like a house on fire. (It's just over 15 minutes into the show). Britney sings with meaning, she's been through this herself - or she's a great actor. Pop vocals in the style of Mariah Carey just without the ornamentation, a beat with energy and zip, the song sounded like a surefire hit.

Only in the new year did we get to see the video.

Britney had pushed for it to be at a school, wearing uniforms "so that the change to our street clothes would be more exciting". Blimey, the gal can dance! Searing out of Live and Kicking, setting Videostir alight, "…Baby one more time" rocketed to number one, and did something remarkable - it stayed there for a second week, something no other chart-topper had managed in months.

Life has not been kind to Britney Spears. Always dogged by attention about her body - not helped by an infamous Rolling Stone cover with a Teletubby - Britney's personal life turned from bad to worse, including drunken marriages, stoned hairdressing, and a court-ordered "conservativeship" that kept her infantilised into middle age. We can only imagine what could have happened in the wasted years.

Britney had the songs, and the image, and the brand personality to remain Biggest Thing in Pop through '99 and '00. She set in train a whole host of imitators - Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, choreographer Mandy Moore. The Cherion sound went on to dominate for a few years, until it fell the way of all fashions.

Most influential song of the late 90s, worldwide? Almost certainly. Best song on that edition of America's Greatest Hits? Well, "You get what you give" came at 37 minutes, and "Doo-wop (that thing)" at 86 minutes so yes. (This may be a spoiler that I won't include Céline Dion and Andrea Bocelli's "The prayer" in my top six. Deal.)

Other songs Paul Gambaccini introduced me to on the 100-song shortlist: "Kiss me", Sixpence None the Richer at 52; "The boys of summer", Don Henley in the low 60s; "Crazy in the night (barking at aeroplanes", Kim Carnes somewhere in the 80s; "I will go with you", Donna Summer also in the 80s.

And given that Gambo was only on the radio for two spells of about 20 months, that's a tremendous strike rate.

[weaversweek]

24 "Listen to your heart" - Roxette

writers Per Gessle, Mats Persson

"This is us trying to recreate that overblown American FM-rock sound to the point where it almost becomes absurd. We really wanted to see how far we could take it."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Roxette were formed from best friends Per Gessle and Marie Fredriksson in 1986. Took their name from a Dr. Feelgood song. Roxette had some international success in 1987 with "It must have been love (Christmas for the broken hearted)". Second album Look Sharp! came out the following year, lead single was the ultra-bop "Dressed for success".

"Listen to your heart" was the second single. Then came the international breakthrough - "The look" broke containment, spread from Stockholm to Minnesota and then to the world. Various singles from the album were released, to annoyingly little success, until a de-festified "Listen to your heart" turned up on the Pretty Woman soundtrack.

And that was the key for purchasers on Britain. "Listen to your heart" and "Dangerous" were re-released as a double-A side for all people, "Dressed for success" got some recognition, and soon we were into the Joyride album.

There was always going to be a Roxette song in the top 50, and it was always going to be somewhere around here. "Joyride" itself, and late-era waltz "Crash boom bang" were serious contenders. But "Listen to your heart" gets the nod.

It's a lighters-in-the-air song, gently ambling along at the right speed to sway your arms above your head, or rock gently from side to side. Written in a minor key, it's full of hope and yearning; Marie implores her lover to think carefully before leaving. The mood's made by the video, filmed during a concert at the Borgholm castle, and looks sumptuous.

Had an American rock band performed this, we'd have liked it. The bit we love is Marie's vocal, a bit of an accent, a lot of emotion.

Roxette split, reformed, and continued performing until Marie Fredriksson's death in 2019. A dance cover by DHT had some success in the mid-aughts, but mostly reminded us how good Marie's vocal was.

Passing mention to "Wild women do", Natalie Cole's contribution to the Pretty Woman soundtrack, and on the fringes of the shortlist.

[weaversweek]

25 "Step by step" - Whitney Houston

writer Annie Lennox

"Being around people like Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Dionne Warwick and Roberta Flack, all these greats, I was taught to listen and observe. It had a great impact on me as a singer, as a performer, as a musician. Growing around it, you just can't help it. I identified with it immediately. It was something that was so natural to me that when I started singing, it was almost like speaking."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

One could argue that Whitney Houston was an early nepo baby. Daughter of Cissy Houston, niece of Dionne Warwick, the famous relations opened doors. But Whitney made it on her own brilliance: a superb voice, a perfect show, and the drive to succeed.

Signed up by Clive Davis of Arista Records, and made his personal priority, Whitney was granted access to the classiest songs and greatest musicians. The debut album had ballads "Saving all my love for you" and "You give good love" to show off her tender side; disco stomper "How will I know"; and a reading of "Saving all my love for you" to leave nothing on the table.

Second album Whitney had the uptempo "I wanna dance with somebody", love song "Didn't we almost have it all", and the surprisingly smutty "Love is a contact sport". Only a completely-missing-the-point version of "I know him so well" with her mum spoiled the album. After the gloopy "One moment in time", album I'm Your Baby Tonight was a one-note disco album, saved only by "All the man I need".

The Bodyguard dominated Whitney's time for a couple of years, and gave her most-remembered hit "I will always love you". A remake of A Star is Born was mooted, but never happened; instead the galpal romcom Waiting to Exhale came out in 1995 and had a hugemungous soundtrack album - it's a wonderful capsule of New Jill Swing, where American women were at. "Count on me" and "Exhale" the big singles.

The Preacher's Wife was a festive comedy for 1996, Whitney co-starred with Denzel Washington. It's mostly an update of The Bishop's Wife, with a large quotient of church music on the soundtrack album with the Georgia Mass Choir. The film was Whitney's acting highlight, simultaneously flirtatious and temptress.

"Step by step" had been written by Annie Lennox, and released as the B-side to 1992 single "Precious". Whitney's version takes a yearning song with gospel tinges, and transforms it into an uplifting house song. Age has leant Whitney some gravitas; we cannot imagine Whitney '85 making this sound. As much at home on Radio 1's club show as it was on "soft rock" 100.7 Heart FM, it reminded us that Whitney could a) make danceable music and b) when she wanted to be great, she was bloody brilliant.

Whitney only made two more full studio albums, My Love is Your Love (1998) and Just Whitney (2002), before getting lost in a mess of drink and drugs. Comeback album I Look to You (2009) was respectfully received, but her death in 2012 left so much unsung.

For me, "Step by step" and The Preacher's Wife are peak Whitney - her best acting, some of her best singing, roles she was at home performing.

Very difficult to pick just four Whitney songs - I eventually chose "How will I know", "It's not right but it's ok", and "All the man I need" for the longlist; "Step by step" the only one to make the shortlist. Brandy's "Sitting up in my room" from Waiting to Exhale also made the longlist. Annie Lennox was another act with so many quality songs - "No more 'I love you's" beat out the five singles from Diva.

[weaversweek]

27 "Duel" - Propaganda

Writers Susanne Freytag, Michael Mertens, Ralf Dörper & Claudia Brücken

"We can show every face, we can go in every direction."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

The sound of the apocalypse? The noise of the future?

Propaganda were artists, musicians, first and foremost. Michael Mertens played with the Dusseldorf Symphony Orchestra, Ralf Dörper an electronic wizard. Claudia sang in local band The Toppolinos, and provided the voice for "Duel". They were signed to work with Paul Morley before he had invented Zang Tumb Tumm records.

It's a dark, brooding song. An argument between two lovers, who slowly wear each other down before making the decisive blow. Like all good songs, "Duel" asks the same questions in different ways. It circles back upon itself, never quite going where we expect it to go. It's literally a record of time: measure the seconds by the keyboard figure, measure the minutes by the rhyme scheme, the hours by the elephant clock chiming.

An entry point to a dark and unsettling world, the press at the time wittered on about mass culture and technology and beauty and desire and quoted Poe and Walter Benjamin at us. Propaganda reminded us - told us - that there is more to life than shiny disposable pop, that modern music can cut the mustard with that boring classical stuff.

"Duel" is a counterpoint to "Dr. Mabuse", which had been a modest hit the previous spring. Probably should have come out much sooner, but ZTT were a small label and chose to launch Frankie Goes to Hollywood around the world, and hence put Propaganda on the back burner for a year. The delay didn't help the group - album A Secret Wish was the two singles stretched thin.

The original lineup split because their original contract was so onerous they would never earn royalties; a similar fate befell Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Another group called Propaganda (Mertens remained, Freytag and Dörper contributed, most of the music by two blokes from Simple Minds and a session singer) released an album in 1990. I have a soft spot for the single "Heaven give me words", mostly because it's writer Howard Jones' great lost hit.

Other ZTT acts under consideration: The Art of Noise made the 100-song shortlist with "Close (to the edit)". Longlist spots for "Slave to the rhythm" from Grace Jones, "Two tribes" from Frankie, 808 State's "Cübik", and Tom Jones' "If I only knew".