#also I'm starting to realize that a lot of the people who say this or even previous expansions “have nothing in it for them”
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pls write some fluff w dani and gn!reader
12:00AM ‹𝟹
ᯓᡣ𐭩 ; daniela avanzini x gn reader.
summary ::: you and dani have been in the talking stage for a couple weeks now, but new years might be the final push you two need.
warnings ::: reader gets a little overstimulated, but that's it !!
note... a week late for new years bc im a slow writer.. and the intro reads a tad rushed bc i had a rough time figuring out how to make the transition smooth :[ im very sorry!! (also i am in fact working on some other requests rn! ty guys sm for your patience ^.^)
dani smiled, greeting everyone excitedly whilst they cheered over her arrival. you stood behind her nervously, yours hands intertwined, giving a meek smile along with small waves to the few people who noticed and welcomed you in.
you were dani's plus one to a new years gathering, and to say you were anxious was an understatement; this was the first time you were meeting any of her friends in person. you'd talked to a few of them interchangeably a couple times, when they'd burst into her room while the two of you were calling or texting. you'd talked the most to manon, seeing as she's dani's roomate, and often entertained you whenever dani stepped away for a little during one of your calls.
it wasn't long before two of you were pulled away into watching an on-going uno match, as it was the crowd's current main focus.
eventually, that game ended, and a second one started—but unfortunately, you had been eliminated pretty early on, and since everyone else was busy continuing on with the game, you'd figured it'd be okay to step out onto the balcony for a few as it had gotten a little rowdy due to all the +2s.
what you didn't realize, was that dani had gotten eliminated as well, and noticed you leaving. she frowned, wondering if something happened that upset you. to not draw any attention to you or her, she stood up quietly, following you out onto the balcony.
“yn?” she called out, softly shutting the balcony door behind her. you greeted her, smiling sheepishly as she stood next to you. “are you alright?”
“yeah. it was just kind of.. loud.”
she inched closer to you, taking your hands in hers. “we can leave if you want.”
you shook your head profusely, “no, i'm okay. really.” you gave her hands a light squeeze as affirmation, your heart warming up at the fact that she seemed so genuinely concerned.
she opened her mouth to say something else, immediately being cut off by ruckus from within the house; everyone had paused the game and begun counting down. “it's 12:00 already?” she muttered, unconsiously fiddling with your hands.
as soon as the countdown got to one, your eyes were fixated on the sky, cheerfully watching all the different fireworks go off. dani, on the other hand, had her gaze fixated on you; admiring how pretty you looked with all the firework colors lighting up your face.
“can i kiss you?” her voice was barely over a whisper, as if it was a thought that wasn't meant to be said aloud.
you whipped your head to look at her, immediately being met with her gaze; the sweetest, love-filled doe eyes you'd ever seen staring back at you. she was a lot closer than you remembered, yet you were unsure if you had even heard her correctly.
“please?” hearing her plea made your stomach flip, and you couldn't help but nod giddily.
you couldn't even get a second nod in before her lips were on yours, her hand traveling up to caress your cheek while the other tugged you closer by the hem of your shirt. the kiss was slow, her lips moving against yours passionately, though delicately, as if she were afraid to hurt you or possibly scare you away.
she let go of your shirt, bringing her other hand up to hold your face fully. your knees wobbled, feeling her smile into the kiss. “already falling for me?”
you barely had the chance to respond before a knock on the balcony door startled you two apart.
“we're.. starting uno round three.. or are you guys too busy?” manon smiled innocently at the two of you, clearly planning all the different ways she'd tease dani about this later.
dani bashfully muttered a response, entwining your hands again and following manon back inside, bringing you along with her.
── 𖹭 ──
for the rest of the night, dani hovered around you; her hand never left yours and the smile on her face never faded once. the kiss had seemingly boosted her confidence, as she'd started openly using pet names for you. she'd also gotten a lot more touchy; currently, she had her arms wrapped around your waist, her chin resting on your shoulder while she hugged you from behind.
“babe, play that one.” dani perked up, using her head to point to a card in your hand.
“hold on. how is it fair that these two are teaming??” megan called out, pointing at you and dani, since you guys had decided to mix your cards and just play as one.
“leave them alone megan, you know dani will explode if she's away from yn for five minutes.” sophia remarked, nudging dani with her shoulder playfully.
dani's cheeks heated up and she hid her face in the crook of your neck, hugging you a little tighter.
you finally placed down a card, “okay, okay. lara, your turn.” unable to hold back your smile, you turned to dani, pressing a kiss to the side of her head before turning your attention back to the game.
#i LOVE spreading the clingy dani agenda#₊˚⊹☆ – 851 words#₊˚⊹☆ – divider creds; cafekitsune#daniela avanzini x reader#daniela x reader#dani x reader#daniela avanzini#katseye#katseye x reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#x reader#kpop#katseye imagines#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#₊˚⊹☾ – works#₊˚⊹☾ – requests
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if we get too closе, would it be okay?
hyun-ju x gn!reader - highschool au
summery: hyun-ju came out to her- now ex- girlfriend who spread the rumor around the whole school.
tags: trans/homophobia (the word tr**ny is used one (1) time), bullying, hurt/comfort, lots of fluff i promise, let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: i am obsessed it's not fair. this is pre-t but i'm still going to use she/her pronouns for hyun-ju <3 also english is not my first language and this isn't proof read, so i apologize for any mistake. @exactlyinfp
hyun-ju didn't want to go to school that day. her girlfriend, ex girlfriend now, broke up with her just because she trusted her, because she didn't want to hide anymore and she believed that her girlfriend of almost two years would understand. but she didn't. she called her all kind of names and blocked her everywhere.
she hoped this was where it ended. that they could just ignore each other and keep living life as it is. it would have been so much easier that way. but the moment she entered the school hallway she knew something happened. the looks she was getting were strange, full of hate. definitely not the looks you receive when you just broke up. she tried to ignore it and walked to her class with her head down.
it was early. a lot of time passed before some of her classmates entered the room. maybe it was better if they stayed outside. their chatter died down as soon as they saw her. one of them, who was seated next to her, took his desk and dragged it as far away from her as possible. “you're sick”, he said under his breath. “stay away from me.”
she stayed silent as the realization hit her. if he knew, everyone else did too. fighting tears, she forced herself to keep cool.
slowly people filled the room. everyone ignored her, even her so called friends looked at her with disgust. only y/n seemed to be acting as if nothing happened. maybe they didn't know about it yet. they’ll turn their back to you like everyone else, she thought.
“oh hyun-ju, how are you?”
y/n waited for an answer that never arrived. so, with a sad smile, they spoke again. “it's fine. you don't have to talk with me. you have my number in case you change your mind.”
———
for the rest of the week she ignored everyone. she was barely alive.
every morning she entered school feeling like a criminal. her locker in the changing rooms was filled with insults. some guys even tried to push her on the ground. that was the only moment she reacted. she could ignore words, but physical aggression was were she drew the line.
every night she cried herself to sleep, wishing she had someone on her side, someone to talk to. her family didn't know about what was happening in school and she hoped for it to stay that way or she wouldn't even have a home anymore.
it was on saturday afternoon that she lost it. she was out, getting some groceries for her mother at the local market, and she saw her ex with her friends. she tried to hide before they could notice her, but she wasn't fast enough.
"oh god, isn't that that tranny you used to date?", one said pointing at her.
"don't say that out loud, please. what will people think of me?"
hyun-ju ran away without even taking food from the market stall. she kept running until their voice became indistinguishable echoes.
she sat on the side walk and took out her phone, looking for y/n contact. she started crying, the tears blurring her vision.
their words came back to her. you have my number in case you change your mind. were they serious? she hesitantly called them, hoping for the best.
y/n didn't take long to answer and for that she was grateful.
"hey, you called!"
"i- yes... listen can you, can you come here?"
"oh hyun-ju, you're crying? is everything okay?"
"i don't even know anymore. please, just come here." and with that she hung up the phone, quickly shared the position with them.
she hugged her knees as she waited.
———
y/n was happy that hyun-ju called, even if the situation wasn't ideal. even though they weren't intimate, they cared about her and it made them sad to see her suffer. especially if she was being ridiculed for something beyond her control.
y/n tried to get to her as fast as possible. they went out in their sweats without bothering to put on something nicer. they didn't like the idea of hyun-ju seeing them in that state, but they also realized that they had to put vanity aside at the moment.
as soon as she saw y/n she got up and hugged. they remained in that position for a while. hyun-ju cried and cried while y/n rubbed her back, doing what they could to comfort her.
"sorry... i don't know why i did that", she said as she let go of them.
"you don't have to apologize. do you feel better now?"
"i do, thanks."
an awkward silence fell until y/n suggested they start walking with a wave of their hand, "do you wanna talk about what's happening?"
"i just want to forget about it. can we talk about something else?"
"oh sure", y/n looked at her and smiled. "do you wanna hear about this manga i'm reading?"
a/n: i realize that for an xreader the reader is barely there 😬 sorry. let me now if you liked it!!
#squid game#squid game x reader#cho hyunju#hyun ju x reader#hyun ju#hyun ju squid game#x reader#squid game x you#squid game x y/n#squid game season 2#🦑:sg
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fascinated and distressed by chase's disordered relationship with sexuality + his emotions abt his own trauma & abuse
thru the beginning of the show he doesn't even realize he's hot despite being objectively attractive. when he finds out he's hot he then realizes people pretend to be interested in him as a person in order to have sex with him and gets super upset about it
he starts having a bunch of meaningless sex as a coping mechanism when cameron leaves him. and also a lot of other times. whenever something bad happens, basically, he starts going out with a bunch of women, just to feel something, presumably
^to the extent where hes known within the hospital as a slut. and has had sex with an insane amount of nurses. as well as presumably women who are not at his place of work.
he says doing this made him hate himself so he stopped. it's the b-plot for an episode and then he's back having meaningless sex again by the end of the episode
even his coworkers know this about him. and have called it out, masters even says she thinks he doesn't respect women bc, in her words, he's with a different one every few days or maybe he finds comfort in meaningless relationships
goes back to having meaningless sex within weeks of getting stabbed. which is really bad for wound healing reasons too. genuinely it seems like such compulsive behavior for him considering he keeps doing it even when its objectively not only a bad idea but actively dangerous
house even directly says he's "a serial slut" because he's "terrified of intimacy." incredibly accurate assessment
his relationship with his sexuality reads so heavily as someone who thinks they're not good for anything else
see also: dissociation & avoidance
we know he has a lot of trauma especially in childhood- he never really gets into it let alone into how he Feels about it but what we know is already bad & that's just the stuff he's okay with sharing with his coworkers or patients
in general he's very avoidant of his own trauma- when he gets stabbed he says he "can't change what happened, can only make better choices from here" as if it was his own fault, and refuses thru the whole episode to acknowledge that being traumatized by this would be a really normal reaction that he is definitely having. instead he just blames himself
also, he dissociates from traumatic things that happen to him - says "there was a stabbing" rather than "i was stabbed" for instance
when he's talking abt his childhood trauma he does it in a very similar way - he talks about it very bluntly and doesn't ever get into how he actually feels about it.
see also: dr. fawn response
general passive willingness to go along with anything- when cameron says they should have sex in s3 he's surprised and then he just kinda goes along with it. not bc he didn't want to bc he obviously did, but he's just generally very much someone who does whatever other people want him to do. i feel like he and cameron both tend to seek validation thru sex in an unhealthy way that i'm still gnawing on like a dog with a bone i have to go rewatch s3 to really articulate it though
he has a sort of desperation for praise and approval especially from anyone he views as an authority figure. he does whatever authority figures tell him out of this idea that it'll bring him approval and therefore safety
like no matter what house does or says to him he doesn't argue or retaliate or anything. even when house punches him he collapses on the ground in pain and then just keeps talking about the patient like nothing happened.
the scene in 3.10 after house punches him where he's in the ddx room and house walks in and throws the file at him and chase is startled and tries to pretend he's not. and he looks up with this huge fuck ass bruise on his jaw swallows heavily and pretends not to be upset. and house asks if he got that looked at as if he wasn't the one to give it to him and chase just swallows and says he's fine. dr fawn response :(
#text#i still have a few episodes left Worried im gonna post this and immediately soemthing else will Happen that is relevant here#avian i stole the phrase 'dr fawn response' from u its really good its been bouncing around my head for several days#chase#robert chase#house md#Implication here being i think he was sexually abused at some point. idk if the Writers intended that#but i'm looking at him with my eyes and thinking about him in my brain and it's very clear to me#house spoilers#analysis
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Booster's Queer af
Something I wrote on Reddit on a thread asking 'what's your DC hot take??', because if you're gonna kick a hornet's nest, kick it with your best steel-toed boots and then smile:
Booster's queer. That man hasn't come across as straight-- ever. Like even when I started reading DC in 2003, he came across as queer to me, pretty much from his inception. Seriously. He comes across like someone closeted and decidedly not-straight who just stays in the closet initially because it was a very bad time to be anything other than heterosexual when he landed in the past and later because it's habit and expected of him. I don't think he's gay, I think he probably leans pretty pansexual or maybe even demisexual, but any which way, you'll never convince me he's not at least a little bit queer. He's had one in-universe romance that hasn't been retconned (Firehawk) in his entire time existing and one that was a joke and maybe not even real canon (Gladys). After almost four decades. His thing with Firehawk lasted, I think, like less than a year, too. I'm pretty sure you can count his on-panel kisses on one hand, but not more than two. He's never had a 'morning after' scene. The one seriously emotionally intimate relationship he has is with another guy. When he does flirt or attempt to, it comes off as being awkward and a bit desperate and a bit like a man who is kinda using it as cover. And like-- that really makes way more sense for him than anything otherwise. I'd sincerely hope by the 25th century that we'd stop giving a damn who loves or wants whomever else based on gender presentation. It also makes for a pretty compelling tale, a guy getting dropped into the middle of the AIDS epidemic learning a very quick and ugly lesson about what happens to queer folk in this time period. I dunno how hot a take this is, though, because at least some people up top agree (he's canonically hooked up with Ted in Teen Titans Go! and like-- any time Tom Taylor writes them, he all but says it aloud), but if TPTB were brave, they'd finally confirm it mainline. Like you don't even have to ship him with Ted (though that's my preference), just confirm he's queer. Here's my essay. What's my grade? LOL!
--
Since it's relevant, tho, here's a few pieces I wrote from a long email back and forth (since us old people still do that) with another very long-time fan of his a couple weeks ago:
But anyway, to me, he acts about like how a kid who got dropped into the 80s during the height of the AIDS panic and rampant homophobia and the wholesale death of gay men might, especially if he were queer himself. I'd probably try to straight-wash myself, too, in his boots. (I remember that time period, if distantly. I didn't realize I was queer myself until I was well into my 20s, despite falling in very desperate and intense love with another girl when I was 12. I do remember being in high school when a boy was murdered for being queer by being tortured and left tied to a fence to die, though. It was that kind of world back then for people like us. In some places, it still is.) Still, where Booster fails at any hetero romance (oh god does he), he's so devoted to Ted that a big part of his second solo was dedicated to him either trying to save the man or actively mourning him. It's heartbreaking and amazing and really actually quite good stuff, from a literary POV. Whether DC meant it or not, somehow they managed to write one of the greatest love stories I've ever seen in a comic across most of twenty years, no kidding, and I've read a lot across a lot of companies, even back when I was a twelve year old girl and ridiculed for it. And not just a great queer love story, it's a great love story period. A person can make a credible argument for it being a one-sided -- romantic and therefore non-platonic -- love, but it's pretty hard to argue it's not a very intense one regardless.
And
I guess what I'm trying to say is: This is another read on him. And I think also a very valid one. He's one hell of an amazing character, I wish DC had handled him half as well post-Flashpoint than they did pre-Flashpoint, and I don't think a queer reading of him detracts anything from how amazing he is. If anything, I think it makes the older stuff several shades deeper (and so, so relatable, god), and I think if they decided to write him as explicitly queer now, not too many people would actually be all that surprised. With or without Ted. I can't really identify with Alan Scott, love him though I do, even though I can acknowledge that a generation of gay men likely could quite strongly. But I can identify with Booster Gold, who grew up poor and wrecked his future in part for love of family, who clawed his way out of poverty and fell back into it, who has brilliant and shining moments of courage and heart, and moments where he lands on his face, who was tough enough to survive a lot of shit but devastatingly vulnerable to exploitation, and who looks like a fellow queer kid who might've fallen for his best friend, but was surrounded by homophobia and hate and terror and buried that part of himself because the alternative might have been getting beaten and left tied to a fence to die.
#long post#michael carter#booster gold#boostle#legit tho#the eighties were fucked in so many ways#even in the very very early aughts#when i figured out i was queer myself#(and that i had fallen desperately in love with my own best friend years before)#it was still within very living memory#of that time and place
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What chapters would you say are your favourite characterisations for each of the voices? I ask because a lot of the way they act is very much based on what chapter they’re in :3c
Ooooohhh, that's a good one…… I take all the different ways they're portrayed in these chapters in consideration to inform different facets of them, but if I were to choose a favorite, let's see–
Contrarian: As much as I like seeing their more spiteful side in Fury and Apotheosis, and their line readings in Razor is fucking top-notch, nothing can beat the character arc they go through in Stranger for me. It's just. so good. Love this clown who's full of resentment and guilt <3
Cheated: Torn between Cage and Wraith…… Wraith, because seeing her bond with Cold over their mutual hatred for the narrator is just so fun, and how she goes about suggesting throwing Wraith in the pit ("Fuck those two. Let's flip the table!" how Contrarian of you Cheated) is just incredible to me. But I also really like how Cage shows that as sympathetic as Cheated can be, she can still fall into doing cruel things just to assert control over her circumstances, even to her own detriment. That's some good stuff.
Skeptic: EotN Skeptic, my beloved…… I feel like after pris-cut, people started focusing too much on Cage for Skeptic's characterization. Which doesn't feel fair, when that's him at his most stressed and desperate to cling to any semblance of control. It's still a very interesting look into his character, but people seem to be taking that as his default, and not him in dire circumstances. In Eye of the Needle, though, Skeptic is much calmer and even friendly, trying to gas Stubborn up to get him to help. He has a theory and a very simple set of circumstances to test, and even seems a bit excited to test it. Also shout out to Den Skeptic, the moment when he realizes the Princess is more than just a moment is everything to me. He's got low empathy, but he tries to be fair to others <3
Smitten: Sighs, really wish we got to see more of him, really feels like out of anyone, his character is really underexplored, which is a shame. Character-wise, though, gotta give it to Burned Grey. He's just…… so fucking devastated, lashing out at everyone around him, and the way he quickly switches up the moment we see the princess aikskkdmdk This chapter is what really shows where Smitten's priorities are to me. Her safety. Her happiness. At the expense of anyone and anything, even himself. And if he has to hurt, to burn alive, to get to it, he will.
Stubborn: Listen…… the way he managed to have such good chemistry with Adversary despite never speaking to her directly is just sijsjddjjdjdjf SO GOOD SIKSKDKJDKFJ. And I love, LOOOOOVE how he isn't the cliché 'ew, emotions' kinda tough guy. No, he feels, and he feels STRONGLY, you can even get him and Ada to sob in this route I'm just simskjdmdjjdjfj THEM!!!
Broken: Call me a contrarian (heh), but I love seeing Broken getting worse and doubling down on his devotion lol. It's more engaging, OK? And how spiteful and even mean he gets in Tower-Fury is just so good akmskkdmmdjdjd
Hunted: Den with Skeptic…… Just. Seeing this lil guy who was so so afraid of Beast finally get to understand her, to connect to her, and be the one urging you to reach out to her is SO GOOD. Also, the ending where you end up trapped under the rocks with her, when Hunted realizes there's no escape, and it just says it'll lay down and rest for a moment…… OUGH.
Opportunist: Gotta go with Wraith for him too aikskdjdjdjdis Not only is him hilarious there, but also surprisingly competent??? He actually manages to successfully suck up to the princess here???? The surprise factor of it matched with just how funny he is really bumped him up for me when I first saw this version of the route lol
Cold: Another one where their own route just can't be beaten to me akmskddmxmdm. I just love how even after murdering her in cold blood and suggesting we try to kill her again, Cold still gets along with the Princess so well. I also just really like his insights in this route when you decide to free her, about where does a world ends and another begins. It just goes to show how detached he is from reality. (Also, him casually insulting the Narrator every other sentence is just too good lol).
Paranoid: Apotheosis……… What I think is interesting though, is that while on the outside, it looks like Paranoid is 'winning' here, I think she's never been losing it more. She just confirmed that there are no fucking rules. This world is whatever they think it can be. And for someone with a lot of intrusive thoughts (no, it isn't Cold who's 'intrusive thoughts personified', stop calling him that, it's medically inaccurate and honestly insulting to people who actually suffer from intrusive thoughts), the mere idea of it is TERRIFYING. And I think she reaizes that just as they go to that epic fight, which is why she laughs like that, and why the fall is so hard on her and immediately makes her back down and feel like everything's doomed again. For a person full of delusions and intrusive thoughts, the construct is a fucking nightmare world (pun intended).
Hero: Now, for him, I just can't choose one route for his characterization. Out of all the voices, I think he's the most important one to really take into account how he can act in each route when characterizing him. I love his complexities and different facets so much, I made them into a plural system wkmsdmdkdmd he's just. sighs. Hero, my beloved <3
#Me: *thoughtful analysis of the voices' characterization*#Also Me: WIMSKJSMDJDJFDJ THEM SO GOOD!!!#The Duality of Fox#slay the princess#stp voices#stp meta#sal rambles#mailbox
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It’s a bit strange that you only added “pro shipper” to your bio after someone felt uncomfortable that they spent money on your rape fetish comic without realizing that’s what it was (after which you literally blamed them for not assuming it was, despite no content warnings being anywhere, which was the only thing they wanted when they messaged you anyway)
You also only added it on Twitter, not here… I assume because you know Tumblr doesn’t like that. If you’re going to be in a community known for enabling abuse and pedophilia by allowing real abusers to go undetected in your circles because you all think fantasizing about abuse is normal, at least make it public everywhere. People deserve to know who they are talking to, especially since these are such touchy subjects.
Literally anyone you know who are into these things could be for real about it and you would never know unless you were too. There is no excuse for wanting to be part of any community that allows that to happen, and I don’t find it fair that people are being mocked with “respect your own DNI” as if that was the problem. They would have followed their DNI if they had known it applied to you… what they asked you for was putting a rape warning on StOP. Which you still didn’t do
I know a lot of proshippers are victims. But a lot of others are too, and we don’t appreciate being thrown under the bus in the name of “fighting purity culture” as if it’s the same as being anti-kink.
Anon I don't know if you're my ex-patreon supporter or if you're a friend of theirs or what, but it's funny to me that they kept saying they didn't want to start any trouble with me and then this happens lol ok I guess.
You also failed to mention I refunded all the money they gave to my Patreon and apologized for the confusion, I don't know how else I should apologize to them, if you or they want me to stop drawing StOP, that's not gonna happen 🤷 I've said everywhere, multiple times, that StOP is a fuck or die comic, whether you want to take that as dubcon or noncon or not is up to you. The way I write is not really that way because all parties are VERY MUCH into it by the time they start doing anything, but I am AWARE that I can't call it completely consensual just by the nature of the fuck or die scenario. Maybe this person just wasn't aware that fuck or die = noncon, that is.... Not really my fault, it literally comes with that label, I'm sorry :/
Also, my bio has ALWAYS said I'm proship lol I don't know what you're going on about.
It's not a thing I have on my Tumblr bio because before Hazbin, I didn't post any of that stuff to *this* Tumblr, now I've stopped giving a shit but just didn't think to add it to my bio because idk *shrugs* I didn't care that much. You want me to add the proship label here too? I will, I have no issue with it, I am not trying to hide and it's not because "Tumblr doesn't like that" I couldn't care less lolol.
And my friend, sighs, anti circles are known for having more real predators than proship circles. I can't even begin to tell you how many teenagers were groomed in anti circles because they thought it was a """safe space""" while adults in proship spaces literally want nothing to do with minors. I am open about who I am and what I like, I am not afraid to say it because I am not ashamed even if I get people like you in my inbox lmao
My tag of "respect your own DNI" is because people will think proshippers are gross and want nothing to do with them but they'll... Still be the first people to talk to you once they find out.... You're proving my point right now lmao
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the cartographer's 2024 wrapped — in fics !
first fic of 2024: satin for jacob bae or park sungho — wrote this when i was abroad after a very crazy discussion on shibari and ribbons with people from deoboyznet. absolutely insane
last fic of 2024: almost, but not quite for leehan — this fic was an idea since june or july because i loveee loser!leehan but i couldn't pick it up for the life of me... was very much struggling to write fluff until i found a way that fit me as a writer and my own standards <3 can't believe how loved it is to this day !! thanks for loving her dearly (even with its length)
longest fic of 2024: finger trapped (ripped to its seams) for ji changmin, sung hanbin, or myung jaehyun — with a record of at least 15.6k words... ah the most personal one yet <3 an idea that was sitting with me for the longest time, even during my hiatus, and i knew this would be my magnum opus... because of its length, i don't think most people get to read it but it's definitely my favorite one.
most popular fic of 2024: 02:48 for gunwook — with a record of 699 notes (you lot are crazy)... a birthday drabble written for @shegotthewoobies is the winner. we both talk about how this drabble has gotten so much attention nonstop, i was not expecting it to even reach 600 by the end of 2024 but it did... now entering 700 soon enough
personal pick/s of 2024: safe haven (how much longer do we have?) for jacob bae, kim taerae, or leehan // finger trapped (ripped to its seams) for ji changmin, sung hanbin, or myung jaehyun — these are THE gluion fics imo. the easiest way to get to know what i write and my expertise are through these fics. all the praise i receive from these fics never fail to make me smile because it makes me realize that you enjoyed something i'm proud of :]
other milestones worth mentioning: started @onedoornet — i'm so happy to have started a network for boynextdoor writers :] i'm starting to realize that not only was i able to build an easier space for readers to find boynextdoor works but also form a community between writers. thank you to all the members who joined :]
favorite fic/s of 2024: 8000 layers of inyun by @wavesmp3 // wish you were sober by @blissfullsvn // everything i didn't say by @lionhanie // falling in love at first sight (x3) by @jnnul // alike tides, aligned waves by @loserlvrss — i have shared my flowers to these writers/mutuals already <3 you are all so amazing! thank you for filling my 2024 with wonderful fic :]
found on a sticky note from the cartographer — a little overdue but i was out of the country during this whole thing </3 thanks again to @sungbeam @blue-jisungs @slytherinshua @loserlvrss @serejae
@mosviqu @hollyoongs for tagging me in their 2024 wrapped <3 — thank you again to all my readers for sticking with me throughout this journey :] i know i've gotten a little slower with writing but thank you for always sending your flowers my way! i'm starting to feel the love and appreciation as a writer which really helps <3 always know that your reblogs and feedback do mean something!
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@sunfloweraro I'm sorry it took so long to respond to you on this post, but I needed to draw this before any further action could be taken.
Yippee, Ravio will get comfort!! My sanity is safe (for now). Hilda and Zelda appearances would be cool, and a Sheerow POV would be quite interesting indeed!! I wonder what that bird is thinking behind those blank little eyes...
#I'm not gonna lie#bunny turned out a lot grumpier looking than I had intended#when I showed the meme to my mother she said he looked possessed#so there's that lmao#In response to the Secrets in the Tags:#awwmygosshhh that's so sweet#I see people putting Twi and Legend at odds all the time#but their relationship can be so heartwarming imo#I'm excited for that chapter now tooooo#please ramble in future tags as much as you want--I love reading it all#I was unironically about to type “he saves Rulie AND SKY before just passing out??? What a legend!”#and then remembered who he was#and realized what i was saying -_-"#also I feel like the infection of brainrot for this au is mutual at this point#because I certainly would not be thinking about it nearly as much as I am without all of your enthusiasm and awesome writing loll#lu hyrule#lu legend#lu pink bunny au#bunny legend#drawing#artwork#meme redraw#my art#I need to start using that tag don't I
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i have a confession to make: i'm actually doing better than i ever was
#i started making friendship bracelets for my show & for my gang today#i'm actually pretty excited#also it feels different when you make them for specific people because then you actually make them with love#so i was thinking of you today (you know who you are) 🤍#i also realized that i actually like my job which is crazy to me#i've been struggling with this so much during past few months and i am finally somewhere i don't hate#i like my coworkers and i don't want to cry when i have to go there#i don't even mind working with customers anymore because most of them are nice here#and this job may actually give me the opportunity to make more money in the future so i might just stay here for a while#this is not a perfect life but it is MY life and honestly i wouldn't change a thing about it right now#i am doing good and i am healing#i am taking care of myself#one step at a time#no rush#i'm trying to focus on things that make me happy and myself#i talk to my friends a lot i talk to my parents#i am fine and this time it's not a lie#i feel like maybe one day i will be finally able to say that i'm happy#i'm not there yet but it's good#yay for me i guess#🤍🤍🤍#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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seeing so many videos on YT lately that are like “I read this dark romance book and i’m calling the police” or some condescending put-down derivative
babe if it’s not for you then put it down and find something new to read nobody wants an hour-long video of you yucking someone’s yum
#tired of people acting holier than thou bc something goes against the norm#leigh speaks#if it's bad then who gives a shit honestly#have we learned nothing#there will always be an audience for something#'if it doesn't have a happy ending then i don't want it'#eat! my! ass!#this sounds super aggro sorry but this is like the third video like this i've inexplicably had recommended to me this week#if you don't like dark romance then fine i hope someone picks you at last be on your merry way#but just bc it squicks you out doesn't mean it isn't valid to someone else#listen i hated 50 shades as much as anyone else back in the day and then at one point i realized#this is a lot of people's favorite book and i don't have to agree with them but it also isn't fair to make them feel shitty over it#so i ignored it and moved on and stopped dogpiling onto it bc i wasn't the audience for it and! that's! ok!#not to say that it wasn't problematic bc it was but that's veering from the topic#most if not all dark romance is problematic anyway but! it's FICTION and people forget that#like come on feysand started out preetttttyyyy problematic in acotar and bc of its origins i do consider it partly a dark romance#look at me writing an essay here when i should be working on other stuff ok i'm done
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also like. life update. since coming to college i think i've decided i want to be less online in general, because i don't think it benefits my mental health to be on any online website too much. i know i still have strong ties to fandom and whatnot but i'm trying to reconcile my relationship with the things i've created knowing the headspace i was in when that happened; cs is more of a diary to me than anything, at least where i'm at currently. i DO want to be on discord more this break because there's people i want to VC and catch up with-- but ultimately i think i'm like exactly the worst kind of person to operate with any kind of stability on the internet so we're going to mess around with what that looks like for me for a while. love u guys and once finals are officially up in two days i'll be back to say hi :]
#nightmare.personal#i just think like. idk. i don't really know how to compassionately phrase this#but i realized with all the stuff happening in the world that like.#it's just far better to host those conversations and do those actions irl?#for a lot of reasons. one of the major ones being that its easier to weed out people in real life who are like#wildly antisemitic and awful shit like that. vs being online its like people do that for breakfast#it's also just easier to do meaningful things. so then kind of from that i was just thinking and like#it's weird! because i don't miss the act of posting or opening discord or anything#but i miss the people. but also the way you interact with online friends is so distinctive?#like i can't just get everyone's phone numbers. it'd kind of be sick if i could but you know. everyone feels diff about internet security#so like i'm constantly drawn back to tumblr because i miss people and same with discord#but i don't really adore being on here that much so it's like. really weirdly perplexing#i'm also so goddamn bad at keeping up online friendships and everyone i know here has the patience of a saint#which i deeply appreciate it's also just kinda like.#if we were here in person i could so much better convey my appreciation for you all#so i just hope you know that i do appreciate you. it's weird.#i also have to separately reconcile with the fact that i'm an evolving person IRL#but online that comes at a lag? so like i don't even know how anyone perceives my personality#because it's not that i ever really faked it its just kind of like. we all start somewhere#i don't know what i'm saying. it's disorienting is my point.#i guess i could fix this if i got the discord or tumblr app but#i'm not going to do either of those things but like. i don't know#i wish i talked more regularly to people but the actual process of doing that feels so odd to me#i dunno. we party
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you know until relatively recently i thought i'm at least like.. noticeably above average appearance-wise, i took it basically as a given since i was a little kid. but then i realized i'm actually ugly as fuck and nobody would ever pay any attention to me or find me good-looking or hot or whatever and i will be alone forever and die alone. so.
#iso.txt#vent post#obviously not posting a picture of myself so this is a pointless post. but it's better this way#i like the fact that lots of people here pay attention to me and it's because i'm smart and funny and say interesting things#every few days i realize this and start crying about it like some kind of idiot. i should get plastic surgery to fix all this but idek what#i told two of my friends about this and they gave me some nonsense about society and so on so thats basically confirmation lmfao#like if someone who is conventionally attractive asked you that you would Not fucking say that.#also some bs about how maybe nobody ever expressed any interest in me bc they don't think they'd have a chance. riiiiight lmfao#ik it's so superficial but i hate all of my features so much me being born was a mistake#i know that the fact that BASICALLY NOBODY EVER TRIES TO TALK TO ME is an indicator of that anyway#it just actually hurts like. i hope it's just bc where i live i'm not good at the language but maybe that's just cope#i just don't get it. i'm always better dressed than the majority of people in my classes. in my opinion.#like being presentable and shit matters doesn't it#maybe it's just that i sit in the front row and nobody there talks to anyone bc we actually want to take notes#i do have 'friends' but i don't get it. i don't get it how do you just 'meet people' who would ever pay attention to me.#the number of times i talked to someone who i wasn't introduced to by someone else is TINY#it's so unfair bc i'm like smart and funny and so on#sometimes if i squint im like well *i* think i'm kind of good looking. but LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE does#people only say that when they're trying to be nice.#now i'm thinking this type of post is going to make ppl think i post like a girl again and it's making me more upset but whatever idc idc#at best i'm 'cute.' people call me that a lot. i'm cute like a little kid is cute. i'd never be anything else to them.#i know it 'doesn't actually matter' but maybe it matters TO ME#basically any time i look in the mirror im reminded of all the reasons i ever wanted to kms
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study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true
#my advice#but this saying is sooo true#i know some people at uni who study for exam so long and hard but then fail or just barely make it :(#like what are you doing? i don't mean this in a mean way but it doesn't have to be this difficult#i don't understand how some people can study for an exam for 2 weeks or even a month and still fail and i don't think they're stupid#or i don't see myself as particulary smart#but i guess they just waste their time a lot and i realized studying effective is so important#now everyone is a bit different and has to find what works best for them but there are certain techniques which are proven to work well#there is so much information on the internet on this look it up seriously#it made my life sm easier i never struggled in uni like i did in school and i get good grades#and if i ever struggled a bit it was because i started so late it was almost impossible to pass 😂#which is why to do both is still best 😂#but i actually always made it and i never failed an exam at uni (which i studied for)#(two i was fooled into to just try without studying bc it's easy lol)#i mean i shouldn't speak too soon but i already made it through some of the most difficult of my studies#ofc it depends on what you study how well this works but i'm speaking for myself#i once passed an exam with a B studying only 2 days as one of the best students while others studied 2 weeks#and got worse grades or failed#still studying only 2 days is stupidity don't do it 😅#so the techniques i find very helpful are ofc exam questions probably the best one#if there are none make your own#then blurting for which there are different ways but i like to just go over a topic and then write down everything i remember#then fill the gaps#quizlet is also great it's an app which allows you to create cards and then tests you in creative ways#videos can be helpful as well for summaries and using summaries in general is normally enough it saves you sm time#normally you don't actually need to know everything but you should be careful it's not a bad summary leaving out too much 😅#and i also like mindmaps bc i'm a very visual person#but all those tipps are mostly for remembering information so it doesn't work so well for other fields of study#well i hope this is somewhat helpful idk 🙈#oh and reading texts over and over again is the most useless in my opinion i don't remember much at all and it takes sm time
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*laying on the floor*
Hey so is it normal for quilt piecing to be very fun but also utterly exhausting
(^^^has chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Why is this a surprise)
oh absolutely! Ironing and cutting out fabric are both very high spoons tasks for me I have never been officially diagnosed with chronic fatigue but I do have POTS and severe iron deficiency and I think there's some overlap there? It helped me a lot to get a chair and change my ironing board so I could iron sitting down, and I have my fabric cutting surface for quilts set up so I can do at least some of it sitting down as well. Pinning the quilt sandwich (which I do by crawling all over the floor) always requires a break afterwards for me, and I need breaks when doing the quilting for anything larger than a baby quilt because hauling the blanket around to get it in the right position to sew gets tiring very quickly. The piecing itself isn't as tiring for me, but I can see how it easily could be depending on your quilting setup
#ask away!#itsbumblebunnybee#I should also point out that quilting is exercise even for people without chronic fatigue#like my arms are noticeably much more buff than they used to be since I've started quilting#also: same hat for the chronic fatigue/chronic pain thing! it's a terrible hat and I'm sorry you have to deal with it#but there's a lot of us with chronic fatigue and chronic pain who quilt#I always forget I have chronic pain because I just think of it as 'my dang ribs'#but it's been six years and while sometimes they get better for a while they've not completely healed#and at this point I think I can just go ahead and say it counts as chronic pain#sorry got sidetracked there for a moment that was me having a revelation in the tags lol#tags are like talking out loud for me: sometimes I say a thing I did not realize was true until I said it
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i will not lie: i read the new chapters for j.jk while i was eating, and now i'm Thinking
#i realized i never wrote that post concerning miyuna and the culling games!! and it's such a fun development so i need to uvu#i also need to think about tsugumi's role in all this though bc part of me says she'd follow miyuna and the other part#says she'd stay out of the culling games bc there's still cursed spirits that need to be dealt with and people that need protecting#hmmmmm i need to write both of these ladies more#let's be honest i need to write a lot my muses more often but that's kinda hard sometimes asdf#ALSO i have the urge to write chiyo's jjk verse so much now#just thinking about how she'd probably run herself ragged trying to support the sorcerers outside of the culling games and the civilians#who got caught up in everything#and the absolute joy in her heart when somebody makes a comeback :' )))#anyway i'm gonna maybe write that thing for miyuna and then get a start on some drafts!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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