#also I’m pretty sure the only reason I’ve even gotten this far is bc it’s on audio and I’ve been using it as background focus for The Tasks

[hopecomesbacktolife]

when you’re reading a book that’s already mostly bad less than halfway through so you go to check the reviews on storygraph and see lots of “the first half was better but the second half of the book was a letdown” “second half of the book brought down the rating on this one” “was so disappointed with the latter half of the book”

[icharchivist]

icha!! it’s been a while since I’ve sent one of these in but! I finally started summer troupe act 2! so. here’s my commentary lol. only gotten thru the first 8 episodes but so far my feeling is this: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that’s it. has anyone ever made the su(m)meragi pun yet. (I chose the first m in summer bc it’s the red m on tenma’s jacket)

ok for real this time I’ll go in chronological order but. I am naturally predisposed to like kumon I think bc seeing his sprite I immediately went oh I ADORE you in my head. like I saw him and was like YOU! I love you and I would kill for you. is that normal idc. also I had his bday card when I played a3 so special affection as he was the only rookie ssr I had. but it’s just! he’s just like :D how could I ever reject him?? he’s got such a lovely smile!!

these were the thoughts I had starting up and then. well and then I immediately bust out laughing bc.

me: nice to meet you kumon, my dearest, sweet summer child—

kumon, about natsugumi: “they only do comedy, right? no offense, but doing plays with nothing but stupid, empty gags sounds pretty lame to me.”

me: …ah. so you’ve chosen death, then.

just kidding I LOVE when characters r assholes. this doesn’t even make my initial impression wrong bc kumon is still such an absolute sweetheart but I think it’s so funny. immediately I was like. oh I cannot wait to throw tenma at him it would be hilarious. he’d take it as a personal challenge. and like he absolutely did so I was right lmao. juza chiding him immediately is very good. I do love how kumon is like banri hater #1 but speedruns his disinterest in like. 3 days it’s great. I just feel like even tho they’re very different ppl they actually would have things in common and hate to admit it. and kumon is like u have pretty hair! when he means to insult him lol. anyways the reactions to that comment r so good. yuki going “he sounds like a certain hack when he first joined” and then misumi doing an impression of tenma saying “im not a comedy guy” was sooo good, I definitely felt the voice was recognizably tenma even as I didn’t remember the line misumi was quoting so. that’s how u know it’s good.

I am sooo deeply interested in juza’s reluctance regarding kumon acting as well as how kumon brushes off his whole baseball team situation. like clearly it was more complex than him quitting. this is smthing I do have to say which is that I unfortunately got a little spoiled and so I know kumon has some kind of health issues, which I assume is the reason he quit. didn’t muku quit track and field due to a sports injury, too…? wild. but anyways the way kumon talks abt the baseball team and having that… settled is so. awkward and unsure and uncomfortable tho. made me remember like. ah. there’s a bunch of times I’ve not wanted to elaborate about suddenly fucking up something really badly, too…

idk. it’s very interesting bc juza clearly knows what’s up with kumon but seeing how he reacts to the baseball stuff I’m not sure if he knows… Everything? it makes me want to dig into their sibling dynamic a bit more

but then tenma steps in and invites kumon to the road show!! i clutched my heart I was like oh he’s come so far as a leader… sigh, even though summer troupe rightfully teases him, he’s quite reliable, isn’t he? im so going to extrapolate all of this into the tenma juza dynamic thoughts later ofc. but the way yuki and sakyo r both like “free labor” in response to tenma’s suggestion… adds one more point to my feeling that yuki probably has the like most financial knowledge regarding the troupe next to sakyo.

also ace pitcher for the baseball team!! that is really not something u just… quit. I am excited to see the full story there. it seems like kumon gets a lot of anxiety? which. extremely relatable i not only panic often but I can panic pretty hard. but tenma was so nice, being so oblivious like ah I bet u can’t sleep the night before a big trip! pfft. love that yuki knew he was looking up tourist info bc he could hear him muttering, but clearly since tenma didn’t know that he knew, it meant that yuki heard him and just. didn’t tell him to shut up. is he just used to ignoring tenma’s voice so he slept easily. idk.

like I said kumon and banri kinda feel similar in some ways to me. I rly love how they squabble. and that juza is like doing his own thing and they r like mutually fighting so jimins defense of his brother is kind of ineffective lol

i cheered when tenma was like oh guess I’m sitting with u kumon. and then I realized. ah. it’s rookie and leader as the leads. idiot. ofc they’re gonna set up a dynamic. the story was not responding to u wanting to throw tenma at kumon. (also, the train background also rly looks like an airplane?) but it’s been so long since I’ve seen the a3 kids and stuff that whenever tenma shows up I wanna reach through the screen and hug him. i love them.

also it’s so cute that kumon calls juza niichan. I get why the translation just has it as juza but. I can hear. and! kumon like almost immediately being proven wrong and apologizing was so fun. its also rly interesting to see how he’s sorta cautious and hesitant around tenma abt stuff while tenma is like. immediately nice! the kumon sprite when he’s nervous genuinely tugs at my heart so easily. it’s just like the side eye the uncomfortable vibes. please be okay. but I love seeing tenma be nice. like, kumon gushing over how cool juza is as lansky and then tenma praising juza’s fight choreography as due to his experience! he’s so. man he’s rly so. like it’s such a natural follow up to how very clearly tenma noticed and adored the specific quirks of his summer troupe in act 1… ofc he notices these things abt the other actors! not to get all teary abt it but. tenma… it’s kinda nice like this, yknow? to have someone that might be just excited abt what he has to say. although I love it when summer troupe teases him haha. but the way kumon was like oh wow! what was ur second play like! and tenma was like. we… we can talk about that later… like lmao no one wants to discuss sardine search.

again wild how ready kumon is to just square up with banri. I’m glad it did not actually happen. I was confused at first as to why kumon was to totally blown away by water me, and then I checked and it seemed like juza just came alone to see muku’s performance? tho muku obviously admires juza im kind of interested in exactly how close he was with kumon, since it doesn’t seem like they know each other That Well.

love how when homare is like let’s go to paris! for a road show, hisoka’s response is that it’s too far which is a pain. im taking the fact that he didn’t say anything else that he’s fluent in french and would be fine, so it’s literally just distance.

when kumon’s like asking to be tested to get in, juza tells him ”you can’t give up and quit in the middle like you did with your baseball team” which. I do think juza feels a lot of responsibility for mankai so I assume that’s part of him being a little harsh but I really feel the baseball thing is a bit more complicated. but yuki saying that kumon is tenmas responsibility… nice! honestly I was so surprised he actually had to ask to join natsugumi after he passed his audition bc like. I just assumed they’d adopted him already lol. anyways KUMON LIKES THE TRIANGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re sharp and pointy like his brother! so sweet.

for the rehearsals kumons va was very good at showing how rough he is regarding acting! I feel like kumon in general has this like, overexcitement in his voice that rly bleeds thru like even when he’s improved a little? god I love the acting in this game. tenma coaching him was so good… the way like u could see kumon directly improve and then audibly smile when tenma complimented him… so sweet! tenmas gotten a lot nicer hasn’t he.

when igawa showed up I had a fear response just bc. I don’t like tenmas parents. I think tenma can deal with them fine but that doesn’t mean I like it for him. wish he wasn’t the lead. but an audition chance! very cool… the famed director that’s like known overseas is called shirasawa, and I have to wonder if that’s a reference to like. akira kurosawa films? like… kuro-sawa -> shiro-sawa -> shirasawa. just a thought lol bc he’s the only like. famous in the west japanese director i know, though the time period here is quite different. I made a lot of leaps. again kumon I feel is kinda hyper cautious? like he takes initiative to step back, worried he’s a burden, and then tenma is like. no. I’ll do everything I’m cool as hell. love him. also love chikage offering to set up covert bodyguards for him lol,, I rly feel like once he got over his this troupe is temporary I’m here to enact revenge! vibe he’s now like. ride or die for everyone lol. it is so funny to see yuki and tenma quietly talk to each other like. that’s… weird, right? subordinates? like it is so funny. outside of spring troupe how well does anyone sans hisoka know chikage.

I did like that when juza and muku were discussing kumons condition, juza being like. we’ll be there for him and let him make his own choices. development compared to when he was like muku stay away from me without even like. taking his feelings into consideration. the scene where kumon is like my brother has perfect abs and trying to. show them. he rly loves his brother lol. it rly got me tho when he was talking to muku and went “the closer I get to everyone and the more they help me out, the more I really want to become a part of this company” tho!! the translation didn’t specify but I definitely heard him say tenma-san and natsugumi so I checked yaycupcake and that’s who kumon specifies as “they”? which I thought was so sweet. I rly like their dynamic. my vision is kumon panics at some point, locks himself in the panic closet, tenma goes to find him, gets locked there too, and they don’t really even have a deep heart to heart but tenma falls asleep there and kumon is moved anyways bc he kind of understands how deeply he’s being cared for, to the point that even if he ducks up they still like him. tho I don’t know kumon’s exact issues.

was worried muku was gonna talk abt kumon’s condition to summer troupe secretly so I was very glad he just said he was pressured! which literally anyone could notice. and I thought it was cute how summer troupe cheered him on. the moment I read kazuko and I was like ah… they’re all cute girls! one more tick towards my “all female summer troupe play” vision. love sakyo being like he’s got a lot of drive unlike SOMEONE abt kumon. and banri is like yeah I wonder who…? it’s great.

and kumons audition!! he reminds izumi of sakuyas first moments!!!! thinking abt how tenma joined summer troupe due to a deep admiration of sakuya in the first place. thinking abt how he’s teaching kumon now. and tenma calling him “student of mine” love it.

juza: …

izumi: he looks happy that his brother passed the audition!

me: …I think you might need some expression practice, izumi

again it’s so funny that kumon has to ask to join natsugumi bc I had totally assumed he already pivoted there post-road show. still this is very cute. and it’s wild that tenma is like oh? like he’s surprised. like. it’s so obvious how much he likes u guys lol. once again tho kumon’s a bit hesitant abt it and tenma and natsugumi r all like hell yeah kumon welcome on board. paused here bc it seemed like a good place to take a break! I am… very excited for what comes next.

KIRIII HI!!!! it's been so long but it's always a pleasure <33 take your time always, but what a pleasure to see your takes again!!

AND HELP. Someone should definitely make that pun, it's right here. come on.

AND HELP. I'd say yes it's normal to love Kumon at first sight, he's just So Shapped. He has a lovely smile, he looks radiant like the sun, he's a ball of energy, he's just. Everything about him is SO endearing i adore him. I'm so glad you felt like that right away, he deserves all the love (and i'm so glad he kept you company in the a3 server when you were playing!)

DLKFJDLKFJDF WHAT A FIRST INTRODUCTION THEN LMAO.

But yeah Kumon really has a stellar introduction, he's sweet but the way he immediately dismises Summer is like. hold on. no wait you don't know them like we do hold on. and yeah i love how they point out right away that it's just like Tenma because, yeah! it's just like Tenma! and now everyone can clown on BOTH Tenma AND Kumon at once! congratulation everyone! But god yeah i love how Kumon immediately goes to Banri's throat and then mostly is chill around him. i love how he can't insult anything other than his hair and how Banri is genuinely more affected by Kumon's comments on his hair than if Kumon had thrown real insult. so funny.

aw waaa 🥺🥺 of course i won't say a thing about all that's going on with the Hyodo, i'll just confirm to you that yes, Muku did leave the track team because of an injury yes! But for the rest, there's still so much to discover. But also oof mood on the "not wanting to elaborate suddenly on something you fucked up" thing.

:3c looking forward your reactions to the whole Hyodo arc then.

BUT YES YES YES!! This chapter really shows Tenma's growth so well and the way he tries to work it out with Kumon (while at this point, while we know Kumon is the Summer rookies, no one knows it yet, so Tenma is just helping out just because!! Probably also seeing himself out of the whole anti comedy thing like "oh my sweet sweet summer child" (literally) it's so sweet).

and yeah so true i think Yuki is the one with the most knowledge on that front, aside from Sakyo of course.

eheheh :3c. AND HELPP YEAH!! Tenma is so sweet and i love again how his dynamic with Yuki shines through in that bit like. truly the roommates who know each other too well at this point. rip.

AND DLKFJDFKL. the Kumon&Banri&Juza dynamic really is hilarious.

but waaa so cute :sob: so true on the hugs though, they really seem so huggable, and Tenma especially is so good this chapter. Like yeah of course the leader/rookie dynamic is expected but it's so nice to see them go through it rather organically.

YEAAH i love how he calls Juza niichan too <333 the perks of being able to catch a few of the words in Japanese when spoken. AND YEAH… Kumon at least completely speedrun his "comedy is alright actually" bit that Tenma half denied most of his own arc god bless. and you're SO right about everything you say about Tenma. Like, it really showcase just how far he has come and how he came to really notice and appreciate the good quirks everyone can have and ahhhhh he's so good. and i love that he can be here for Kumon and while Kumon is uncomfortable for now (probably the mix superstar + "i kinda insulted his whole troupe's thing while now i see i was wrong" embarassment) it's really sweet to see how into it he gets when they talk about those things. and they should talk about the sardine search more. Dance kitty cat dance.

yeah Juza came alone to Water Me. Oh if ever you feel like it, there's Juza's New Year SSR ( " SSR - [Chilling Out at Home] - "New Year's with the Hyodo Family") in the Archive that is set before Kumon's arrival, which showcase a bit the Hyodo/Sakisaka relationship before Kumon joined Mankai. obviously won't say much more about Muku and Kumon.

DLKFJDFLKDF i love this. Everything is a good reason to read more into Hisoka's multilanguage attributes.

oh the whole Hyodo drama muah. I LOVE how the summer troupe immediately steps in for Kumon though :sob: they really did imprint him on him right away didn't they. AND YEAH ANOTHER TRIANGLE ENJOYER HELL YEAH.

YEAAH the voice acting in a3 is so good at conveying so much character in how good or bad the whole acting is, like, how much you can feel them, as actors, behind those lines. Kumon especially since he's the personification of the sun itself so he just spills out sunshine everywhere when he talks he's so cute. and i LOVe how good Tenma is with him, he improved so much and got so much nicer :sob:

mood for Tenma's parents. and! for the diretor, That's actually very likely, that'd make sense at least :o could be just a reference without it being supposed to be modern and all. god this arc is good. And YEAH FOR CHIKAGE. really went from "this whole company means nothing to me and i will burn it down" to "anyway what can i do for my precious company right now", best character development. AND HELPPP. Yeah, i assume outside of spring and winter people don't know Chikage much aside from "he bailed on us at some point and we all saw him date the director, what was up with that". Spring at least knew something was off with him and Winter knew something was off with Hisoka because of him. but for the rest?? Esp the kids??? god Chikage speedrunning from weirdo stranger to weird uncle is incredible.

Juza and Muku working together for Kumon's sake 🥺 it's really so cute and it does show how they evolved in term of problem solving with other people. Kumon is so cute. And yeah this is so sweet!!! Summer really is doing a number on him right away!! Like it's just really soft how, Kumon wanted to join the company for Juza, to be with Juza, and all of that and just… how quickly Summer grew on him that now he's kinda here for himself instead. and for those people who cheered for him then. It's so soft. I love your vision on how this arc would go aaa

Muku is handling the situation so well!! honestly he deals with Kumon's situation with so much care i almost forgot he was younger than him at a time, Muku really tries hard to take care of him as he can there as a senpai. AND HELL YEAH for the all female summer troupe play. They're all ready for this. dFLKJDFDF SAKYO. And Banri is that Garfield picture isn't it.

AND YEEEE ON THE IMPRESSION IZUMI HAS OF KUMON. associating him with Sakuya's enthusiasm and everything and having Tenma mentoring him… it's all very sweet.

AND HELP. hey maybe Izumi is right, we don't know (yet) what's in Juza's head! who knows!

AND RIGHT… Natsugumi really just took care of Kumon just because as if it wouldn't cause him to Be Attached just as quickly for it. it's so sweet.

Thank you once again for your detailled thoughts, it's a blast to read through and it makes me relive those arcs which is always so good. I'm glad you're having fun and are totally getting into the stuff that are being set up!! it's going to be a trip!

Always looking forward more of your thoughts, and thank you again for sharing <3333 Take care!

[peachy-lemon83]

Y’all, everyone likes to give Luka sh*t for being alumatized twice, especially since he knows Ladybugs and Chats identities. But like…Alya, who Marinette TOLD about her secret has litteraly been akumatized at least three times. And she isn’t even the record of know characters either. Of course we have Mr Pidgin who’s been akumatized 72 freaking times, but also of more known characters Juelka (who is a precious baby and I love her so much so no hate on her) has been akumatized a minimum of four times.

And I know people keep saying, yeah but Luka got akumatized bc of Marinette 2 separate times, but like 1) we all know Luka and Marinette is very toxic tbh, it’s not purely Marinette, Luka is amazing but very selfless. He doesn’t fully talk to her about how much that stuff hurts him, nor does he demand her full love. Which anyone who you’re dating deserves to know that you love them, and they’re not your second choice, something Luka wasn’t really given. 2) Lukas first time being alumatized can’t really be blamed on Marinette, she did nothing wrong there. All she did was stand up for her friends. It was Bob Ruth (if I’m remembering his name correctly), XYs dad, that threatened Marinette. Which then lead to him being alumatized. Yes, she was involved, but no way the problem there. And tbh I think of Luka as a fairly protective person in general, while he most likely wouldn’t have gotten AS mad if it was someone else in Marinettes position, I would definitely think he would still get mad. In my point of view, Luka didn’t get mad when he was the one being talk to, bc like previously state the boi doesn’t really stand up for himself. He probably saw it more of a personal attack then one on his friends. But Bob Ruth directly threatened Marinette.

In this Ted Talk I would like to say that the Love Square is toxic, but honestly so is Lukanette (Luka x Marinette) and Adrigami (Adrien x Kagami) (idk either ship name tbh). Adrien doesn’t seem to really see Kagami as freedom from his “pretty boi model” life, which leads to him not rushing back when they have an akuma, often leaving her by herself. And Marinette just doesn’t have the communication skills to talk to Luka in a healthy way.

Personally I think the only way to save the love square is to have Marinette get over Adrien, with Chat, Adrien falling in love with Marinette (not completely getting rid of their admiration and love of Adrien and Ladybug) but having it in a way more healthy way. And falling in love with the way more real side of them. (Another reason why I don’t think Kagami really seemed right with Adrien, she fell for the serious model Adrien, while more real than the one Marinette originally becomes obsessed with, still not fully him. She even brushes off his ‘silly’ side in Lies, when she tries to draw him and he does the Chat pose)

Tho I’m gonna be honest here and just say I personally really like Marinette x Kagami and then Lukadrien (mainly bc of the representation, and they seems to have a way easier time communicating with each other)

I’ve also seen a lot of people being Adrino, and while yes it has representation, it takes away an amazing couple who have shown good communication skills, and know how to support each other and when they need to discourage things from happening (Like Nino being Alya’s common sense on what stuff to post on her blog, when she’s taking the reporter stuff too far, making sure she’s actually safe during akuma attacks). And on the other side we have Alya helping Nino understand social cues a bit better. I honestly think we need more of Alya helping hold Nino back and sane but personal opinion there. I mean this is all my personal opinion but…

[seita]

in-game | kenma kozume (m.)

pairing: kenma/reader genre: angst, fluff, smut wordcount: 𝟸𝟼𝟶𝟸 tags: established relationship, gamer!kenma cw: neglectful behavior, crying, hurt/comfort, cuddling, riding, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, squirting, overstimulation, praise kink, dom!kenma.

+ note: self indulgent bc im a hurt/comfort whore and i was going thru some KENMA FEELINGS when i wrote this.

˖˖ summary: kenma’s been awfully neglectful lately, preoccupied with his video games. you eventually get fed up and he has to comfort you and fix the hurt he caused you.

⇦  back to navigation.

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not repost or modify.

Your lovely boyfriend had been playing video games nonstop for days. It had gotten to the point that even your personal time together, curled up in bed before sleeping, had been infringed upon. Instead of him coming to bed with you to cuddle and talk, he was staying up and coming to bed after you fell asleep. You’d wake up to him already sitting in front of his computer or the TV resuming his gameplay when you woke up.

You got it was his job and he loved to play with every fiber of his being but you couldn’t help but feel...neglected. You tried to ignore the aching feeling in the pit of your chest when you greeted him good morning and only sometimes received a grunt in response. 

It was weighing heavily on you and you were saddened that he didn’t even notice your downed state. He also didn’t seem to miss your presence when you began to hide in different rooms away from him. 

It all came to a head one evening when you found yourself craving him. Craving like having his touch on your body, making you feel good and loved like you knew he did so well. Kenma didn’t have the biggest sex drive around and as a result it sort of caused your own to dim as well. But when either of you had the urge you usually had no problems going to the other to have it sorted. 

This time, however, you found yourself hesitating. 

There was no way he’d choose you over that video game right now.

So with a heavy heart you laid back in bed and slid your hand down your panties, shuddering when you felt your wet folds beneath your fingertips. 

You could hear Kenma’s video game through the thin walls of your shared apartment. It was distracting, knowing he was out there so close yet so far. It had been a long time since you had to get yourself off; you never needed to when you had the sweetest boyfriend ever living with you. 

After touching yourself for what felt like ages, you realized you were nowhere near orgasm and promptly gave up. The frustrations of being stuck horny mixed with your hurt over being neglected by your boyfriend finally bubbled over and you felt tears pricking at your eyes. You rolled over, stuffing your face into his pillow as you cried. It muffled your whimpers and wails, not that your boyfriend would notice anyway. 

Suddenly, you sat up and sniffled a bit. Something dawned on you as you sat there, listening to your boyfriend’s video game blast explosions through the walls. 

There was no reason for you to be made to feel like this. You had to step up and talk to him. Communication was always the most important thing in your relationship with Kenma. He was a quiet, introverted guy who kept 99% to himself. When you first started dating back in high school, you both made it completely clear that you needed to talk to  each other. 

Yet there you were, ignoring that rule you’d made with him. 

You crawled out of bed and wiped your eyes with the back of your hand as you stumbled out of the bedroom. 

Kenma was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the wooden coffee table as he slouched back. His hair was in a messy bun, a bored expression on his face as he slammed his thumbs against the controller buttons. 

“Kenma,” you said, pausing in the doorway to the living room. 

He didn’t reply, making you huff and try again. You called his name louder, stepping into the room. Finally, he tore his eyes from the screen to cast a glance at you before immediately looking back to the screen. However, it only lasted a second before his head was jerking to look back at you with wide eyes. 

He sat up straighter, hitting pause on his game as he frowned up at you, “Have you been crying?”

You sigh and nod, stepping closer to him, fidgeting nervously with the hem of your shirt.

“Why?” he asked, the sincerity in his voice making your eyes tear up again.

Your bottom lip trembled as all the feelings you’ve been holding back flooded forth; “I just...really miss you lately, Kenma. You’ve been so...busy and I...just feel like you’ve forgotten me.”

His gaze softened as your words sunk in. He uttered your name, soft and sympathetic before reaching his hand out for you. You quickly slipped your fingers into his palm, letting him tug you into his lap. His arms wrapped around you, one hand cupping the back of your head as he pulled your face into his shoulder. You felt the tears you’d been holding back come forth as you heard him whisper soft apologies in your ear.

You didn’t say anything more, feeling yourself begin to doze, nestled in his lap as he rubbed his hand down your back. You sighed happily snuggling into him. The music to his game played in the background and you found yourself speaking; “you can play again.”

“A-Are you sure?” he asked, skeptical though he knew you were bound to doze off.

You nodded and closed your eyes, relaxing against him. You felt him shift as he grabbed the controller once more, settling back into the couch cushions before resuming his game. You quickly fell asleep to the feeling of the occasional kiss against your temple from him. 

When you woke up, it was from being gently jostled. Kenma quickly noticed you had awoken and he frowned, reaching over to tuck some hair behind your ear.

“Sorry…” he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s okay,” you reply, sitting up, “How long was I out?”

He shook his head, “Like an hour or so.”

You rolled over and got out of bed, making Kenma frown before you disappeared into the bathroom. He went back to the living room to resume his game, sitting on the couch with his controller in his lap. When you came back from going pee, you paused to take a look at him. 

His bun was loose, hair falling prettily around his face. He had changed into a loose t-shirt that was too big so it fell off his shoulder, revealing his collarbones and an expanse of unmarked, pale skin. He wore a pair of soft sweatpants that he owned several colors of; they were his favorites. 

He looked up at you when you came in, patting his lap before holding his hand out for you.

“You’re tired, why don’t you go to sleep?” he asked, thumbing beneath your eyes, which were still a bit red from crying earlier.

“Wanna be with you,” you whisper, leaning forward to rest your head against his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers resting his hand on your back before pressing a kiss to your head, “Take all the time you need.”

You smile, relishing in having his attention, even as you heard the game play on in the background. He occasionally pressed a kiss against you. 

Suddenly, the arousal you had been feeling came back to the forefront of your mind and you found yourself squirming in his lap. He grunted, brows coming together.

“Settle down, baby,” he mumbled, kissing your shoulder, eyes glued to the TV.

“Kenma…” you whimper, leaning back a bit, making sure to stay out of his way of the TV, “Can I…” he hummed, glancing at you for a second before looking back at the TV, “I really wanna ride you.”

He shuddered, nodding his head, “Go ahead, baby. Get me hard.”

You grin gleefully, and reach down to palm him, finding he’s already rapidly growing harder. Tugging at the elastic band of his sweats, he shifts a bit so you can pull his cock free, tucking the band beneath his balls. He sighs at the feeling of your hand wrapping around him to give his length a few squeezes. 

You pucker your lips and spit down on the head, using it to slick up his shaft to aid in your movements. Before long, hot puffs were coming from his lips and he was at full hardness. 

You sat up and yanked your panties down before tugging your shirt over your head. Completely, naked, Kenma sat back to admire your body with a low curse. 

Reaching beneath you, you gripped his cock to line him up at your entrance.

“Don’t hurt yourself, baby,” he whispered, glancing up at your through messy bangs, “Run and get the lube.”

“D-Don’t need it,” you whine, running the head between your folds. 

He hisses but hits pause, gripping your hip to stop you from sinking down with a pointed look, “Go get the lube, now.”

You pout but do as you’re told, crawling off his lap to rush to the bedroom. The bottle sits inside the bedside table on his side and you grab it quickly. 

When you return to the living room, he’s sitting as you left him, cock resting against his t-shirt, leaving a wet spot from where it steadily drools precum. 

“Here,” you grunt, crawling back into his lap, “I really don’t need it.”

“Why do you say that?” he asks, putting his controller down to take the bottle from your hands.

You watch, mouth open as he pours some into the palm of his hand. His hands were always so pretty; lithe fingers and prominent veins. He wraps his fist around his length and coats the smooth skin in the liquid. Using what was left on his fingers, he slides two fingers into your cunt. You grunt and grip his shoulders as he scissors his digits.

“You are wet,” he hummed, crooking his fingers to find your g-spot easily.

“T-Told you,” you pant, “I’ve been...wet for hours…”

“Why didn’t you just come and ask me?” he mumbled, frowning as he focuses on your fingers swallowing his fingers before he slowly adds a third.

“D-Didn’t think...oh, that you’d care,” you confess.

He shakes his head and pulls his fingers free, wiping them clean on his sweats before grabbing his controller.

“Don’t be stupid,” he mumbled, but you can hear the hurt in his voice at your words, “I’m always here, even if it doesn’t seem like I don’t because I’m being an ass.”

“Can I ride you now?” you ask, kissing your forehead.

“Take what you need, baby, I’m all yours,” his breathing stutters as you line him up with your entrance and begin sinking down, “That’s it...it’s all for you, make yourself feel good.”

You let out a slow breath as you sink down, taking his cock into your dripping walls. The stretch burns just a bit but it only feels pleasurable. Kenma sighs, biting his lip as his grip on the controller tightens as you squeeze him so perfectly. 

You do your best not to jostle him too much as you ride him, grinding against him so stimulate your clit. After being unable to cum earlier, you feel yourself getting closer to your first orgasm. Your movements stutter and you press your cheek to his shoulder, panting and whining as you work yourself over the edge.

“That’s it, use my cock, baby,” Kenma pants, throbbing within your spasming walls, “Cum for me.”

And you do. It’s a calm, slowly cresending orgasm that fades almost as quickly as it arrived. But still, it left you trembling in his lap. Taking a breather, you sit quietly with your eyes closed, his cock still buried inside you while you waited for the oversensitivity to pass. 

He let you, kissing your cheek and head as you came down, patiently waiting for you to do as you needed -- just as he promised. He was there for you right now, even though his eyes were on his game, his mind was concentrated on you and your sweet cunt wrapped around him. 

Before long, you were moving again, but this time you began bouncing. 

He groaned, leaning back as you expertly worked your hips so the tip prodded every sweet spot in your walls. You were dripping down his length, making a mess of his sweats but he truly couldn’t care less in that moment. He cursed under his breath, accidentally pressing a wrong button on his controller. 

“I’m cumming again!” you squeal, nails biting into his shoulders as you toss your head back and shudder, soaking his length in your cum. He hisses, hitting pause and tossing the controller to the other end of the couch. He grabs your hips and plants his feel on the floor, jackhammering his hips up while holding you stationary, “K-Kenma!”

“Cum again,” he groans, his own eyes rolling back. 

“F-Fuck!” you toss your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight as you cum again. Perhaps you never even came down from your second one. Regardless, you’re hurled into a third -- this one messier than before. 

You squirt, soaking his shirt and abdomen, “Good fucking girl, good girl.”

“Th-Thought you’d let me take what I need…” you pant, trembling as he moves your hips under his strong grip, working you through the aftershocks. 

He huffs out a laugh, head resting against the back of the couch, “Why let you take when I can give?”

You moan, head falling back when you ride him once more. Your body trembles in overstimulation but you just can’t get enough. He cups your breasts, pinching your nipples between his fingers as he stares up at you as if you were a goddess. Hell, to him, you were one. 

“I love you so much,” he confesses, gaze soft.

You meet his eyes and feel an overwhelming sense of love overcoming you. Leaning forward, you press your lips to his and pull him in for a deep, sweet kiss. 

He reciprocates naturally, cupping the back of your head.

“I love you more,” you reply, resting your forehead against his, “I love you more than anything, Kenma.”

“Shh, baby,” he coos, hearing the raw emotion bleeding into your voice, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You whimper, burying your face in his neck as you resume riding him. He holds you close, caressing your skin and whispering words of encouragement as you crest once again. This time, you take him with you. 

He spills into you, a heavy groan in your ear as he pumps his hot load into your spasming cunt. You both relax, your body trembling as tears trickle down your cheeks and you sniffle. He pulls you back so he can look at your face. He cups your cheeks and presses a kiss to your nose.

“I’m sorry, _____,” he whispers sincerely, “I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t care about you.”

“It’s okay now,” you whimper, snuggling into him, neither of you caring about his cum dripping from you cunt. His cock is soft now, but still sheathed within you and you have no plans of separating.

He reaches over to grab his controller again, feeling you sag against him as you begin to doze off. His thumbs work over the buttons and he relishes in the feeling of having you close, wondering how he had missed it for so long without realizing. 

The sight of you crying because you felt neglected still rang in his mind and he made a mental promise to the two of you that he would never make that mistake again -- no matter how into his games he became. 

[venusiangguk]

hand-picked | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / famous!jk x sex worker!oc

>>genre: strangers to lovers, smut, pwp, teaser, drabble

>>word count: 2.8k

>>warnings: glory hole au!!!, cocky jk, bad boy jk, stripper oc, sex work, sexual tension, awkward tension, hand job, blowjob, cumshot, cum on tits, pay for play, semi-anonymous sex, dirty talk, dishonesty...  that’s it i think zzz

>>notes: if u don’t like sex workers ur ugly and i hate u 😌 also ty to @wheresmymoniat​ for betaing n helping me out, ily <3 *repost bc tag issues don’t mind me 🙄*

>>summary: glory holes weren’t a real thing... at least until you’re on your knees for a stranger, cock in your face, with nothing but a curtain between you.

Despite your nerves, you grasp the semi-hard cock in front of you, attached to a nameless person behind the curtain. For a moment you wonder what the hell you’re doing, but the soft sigh that you hear brings you back to the present. You stroke up and down, watching as he starts to become fully aroused. The foreskin rolls over the pink tip on every upstroke. You bite your lip. The silence is awkward, but you think maybe the whole situation is.

 “So... what do you do? Like… not specifically of course, but are you an idol? An actor? You can be vague…” 

 Behind the curtain, Jeongguk, whom you don’t know the identity of, stiffens just a bit. Will his voice give him away? Maybe, but he was never one to turn down an opportunity to boast about himself and his achievements.

 “I’ve done it all,” His voice is airy, softer than he would like, but your hand on his cock is speeding up, and so is his breathing. “I’m good at all of it too.”

 You hum at the man’s response. Cocky. “Isn’t saying you’re good at a lot of things just another way of saying you’re not good enough at one thing? So you have to compensate by spreading yourself thin?” You gasp a small giggle when you feel the cock in your hand jump a little at your words. “Did you like that? It wasn’t meant to be degrading, but if that’s what you’re into-“

 “It’s not- that.” He doesn’t know if he’s denying your psychoanalyzation, or your keen interpretation of the way his cock reacted to your psychoanalyzation but one was more inaccurate than the other. He actually was great at most everything he did, no need to overcompensate like you assumed. 

 Your small hand tightens, and you rub your thumb at the underside of the head, you let out a small pleased noise when you see a bead of precum well at the tip. “Really? You’re starting to leak a little.”

 You sound amused and humorous and if Jeongguk had it in him he would be annoyed or even upset at the way you’re talking to him. You were basically hired help, a means to an end. He glances down his torso at his hard cock in your tiny, well-kept manicured hands. Your nails are a dark red, burgundy color. It complements your skin well, he thinks. He can’t see much of you, just your forearms, along with the bottom part of your tummy and your legs. You’re sitting on your knees between his spread out thighs, feet tucked under you. From the tight black leggings you’re wearing and the slim-fit long sleeve white crop top you have on, Jeongguk can tell you have a good figure. Your waist is tapered in, tiny and cinched, and your hips are wide enough to accentuate it, letting him know you’ve got a petite hourglass frame. You aren’t too skinny though, there’s a softness to your body that he likes. It’s not like he needed the tight fitting clothes to know what your body looked like, though. He’s already seen more of it than he is right now. His mind flashes to the club.

 You may be hired help, but you were hand-picked by him. 

 “It’s just-“ He contemplates what to tell you and settles for, “It’s been a while.”

 “Since?” You push. You hear footsteps outside and you hand stops, scared for some reason that you’ll get caught doing something bad. As if the door wasn’t locked and being guarded. Behind the black curtain, his hips lift just barely, urging you to keep going. Don’t stop.

 “Since someone’s helped me.” Jeongguk’s head rolls back when your hand starts moving again. It’s been at least a few months since he’s gotten off with someone, his hand being his only companion. After the situation blew up even more than it had in months prior, his leash was tight. No wiggle room at all. He was suffocating and desperate. He almost cried when his team propositioned this arrangement, embarrassing as it was.

 When he speaks, his voice is soft and everything is said with a sigh. He sounds so relieved, like it feels so good to be in your palm, like he’s been waiting for your hand on his cock forever. You blush, and right your thoughts. You don’t even know who he is or what he looks like. Still, you ask, “Does it feel good, do you like it?” Tone soft to match his.

 Jeongguk nods and swallows thickly. Eyes still closed, letting the pleasure slowly work its way through his veins. Then he remembers you can’t see him. “Yeah.” He breathes.

 You hum and keep up your ministrations. Not slow, but not fast either. You’re not quite sure what he likes yet, but the soft moans that flutter through the curtain at least let you know what you’re doing isn’t wrong. 

 “I like your hands,” He surprises you by saying. “They’re so small; soft,” A more vocal sound falls from his lips when you twist your hand on the upstroke. He’s chuckling when he says, “Kinda strokes my ego a little bit.”

 You glance at the cock in your hand. It’s pretty. Thick and pink. A pleasant kind of heavy in your hand. The veins running over it are subtle enough to not be ugly or intimidating. The only intimidating thing about it is the size. He’s big. And you’re sure he already knows that. 

 You snort. “I don’t think you need that stroked.”

 This makes him laugh a little harder. It’s a nice sound. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” He hums, you think you can hear a smile in his voice. It’s quiet again for just a moment before he says, “Will you- faster? Make your hand a little tighter too- yeah, like that.”

 His hips sink into the chair when you comply with his requests before he’s bringing them back up, subtly thrusting into your palm. You fight back a moan; you shouldn’t be getting hot for someone you don’t even know right? This was strictly business. Still, you can’t help the slight shifting you do, squeezing your legs together for a little bit of pressure on your pussy.

 Jeongguk notices. “Are you turned on?”

 “No!” You squeak.

 “You can touch yourself,” He offers.

 “No!” You insist, “I-I’m fine.Thank you though.” You say dumbly.

 He doesn’t say anything more, focuses on your hand on him, tugging just how he asked. His hand rubs over his stomach, flexing as he teases himself, his own light touches mixed with your strokes brings goosebumps over his skin. “Feels, so good.” He groans, eyes watching your hand under the curtain.

 Encouraged, you bring your other hand up and massage lightly at his balls. They’re hairless, the only hair he has is the small trimmed patch above the base of his cock. He’s well kept and has good hygiene. That alone was attractive to you, stranger or not.

 When you palm his balls, his legs spread as far as they can with his black cargo pants still around his calves, his big black stomper boots keeping them from being shed all the way. “Fuck,” He moans deep and loud for you. One of his hands comes down past the curtain and reaches for you before he quickly pulls it back. You think you saw a flash of ink on it, but you can’t be too sure, mind kind of fuzzy with poorly hidden arousal. The opposite hand comes into view, and your mouth parts in awe as he covers your own hand with his. It’s so much bigger than yours, completely enveloping it as he strokes himself off, using you in a way. Then again the whole arrangement was you both using each other. 

 “You’re mouth- put your mouth on it,” He sighs, pleasure just dripping from his lips. His cock is rock hard in both your hands, and you can tell he’s getting close.

 You hesitate. “Will… will you be able to see me?”

 Jeongguk comes out of his desire induced high a little bit and realizes what he said. He wants it, fuck does he want your mouth, but he probably should have asked. “No, no. I’ll lower the curtain a bit more if you want, and you don’t have to swallow. You don’t even have to suck it if you don’t want- like I know we have a thing going on but I would never like- force you I-“

 He’s rambling a tad so you cut him off. “I want to, I think,” You whisper, taking in his intimidating size again, “I just- if I can’t know who you are, you can’t know who I am.” You blush feeling a little childish.

 Jeongguk keeps the fact that he already knows what you look like and more or less who you are, at least on a surface level, to himself as he moves the curtain to the next lower notch, the bar resting just above his pelvis now. He can’t really see much of you at all anymore. “That’s fair, yeah, just-“ With your confirmation that you do in fact want to suck him off, he can’t keep the lustful neediness out of his voice, “Please.”

 You take a deep breath as you wrap both of your hands around his cock, the tip still poking out the top. Tentatively you lick at his frenulum and the sound that comes from behind the curtain is obscene. His hips twitch and everything. You want to hear his noises, all of them, so you do it again. You flick your tongue fast over the most sensitive underpart of the head, before placing wet sucking kisses to the same area, almost making out with the tip of his cock.

 “Oh my god-“ His body is pulled taut, and his hands are gripping the chair that he’s sitting in. “Fuck that’s- I love that.” He says, head dropping back, mouth open in a silent moan. 

 You moan against the tip of his cock, not able to hold yourself back anymore. Wrapping your lips around it, you take the head all the way into your wet, hot mouth, and suck. You lap up all the precum that leaked out, and point your tongue to play with the slit. The man behind the curtain is loud for you, letting you know just how good you’re making him feel. You get so lost in it that you don’t register him raising the curtain bar just enough for him to slip his hand past and push you off.

 “S-sorry,” He says, panting, “I was about to cum.”

 You make a small sound of confusion. “That’s okay, I can swallow- If you want me to.”

 Jeongguk shakes his head behind the curtain. “No, I- I wanna watch… see your hands stroke me off.” His request is quiet but his cock pulses in your hand, needy and hot. Already begging for release, despite you not being at it for that long.

 Wordlessly, you start stroking again, gathering the spit that’s on his tip to make the slide easier. It doesn’t take much time at all before his thighs are flexing and you can see the lower part of his abs tensing. 

 “Close,” He whispers.

 Jeongguk watches as your tiny hands fly up and down his cock, grip tight just like he showed you. He’s doing his best to not fuck up into your hands, wanting to just rely on you and your movements, but it’s hard. Small eager little thrusts of his hips show you how ruined he is. And it’s just a handjob. He knows. If he was present enough he would probably be embarrassed by how angry and red his cock is, swollen and hot in your palm. And he’s just so wet, leaking all over the place making the strokes of your hand loud in the room. 

 He watches as you hunch over some, to where he can see everything below your neck, and your free hand comes up to your shirt. He sees you struggle a little bit as do your best to get the collar down under your bra, with only one hand before squeezing at your tits. “Do you want to cum on them?” You whisper.

 “Fuck, please.” He whines high pitch and needy, all reservations out the window. 

 You hum, and work your arm faster over his cock, the rapid movements making your tits jiggle. “Do it, cum for me… cum all over my tits.”

 You can’t see him, but Jeongguk’s face is lewd. Pleasure so apparent on his features, it almost looks painful. His eyebrows are furrowed, his mouth open, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes are wet and glassy, so overwhelmed by finally getting help after so long of cumming by himself. He’s chanting soft, pornographic yeah’s and yes’s until his whole body curls in on itself, you can see the way his legs tremble as he moans, “Fuck, I’m cumming.”

 He forces himself to keep his eyes somewhat open, lidded and heavy with arousal, as he shoots all over your chest. You’re moaning with him behind the curtain as you work him through his orgasm, despite no physical pleasure being given to you, and that makes another small shot of cum dribble from his spent cock. You lean forward, careful of your identity, and wipe the leftover milky substance on your already soiled skin and black bra. You slap the slowly softening cock on them for good measure and Jeongguk groans.

 You keep playing with his cock, not sure if he’s the type to like it or the kind that wants you off right after he finishes, but he winces and reaches his hand under after not too long, stopping you.

 “Please,” He whines.

 His voice is fucked out, and your pussy aches, needy and wet in your panties. “Oh, sorry…”

 He laughs lightly. “No, no. Don’t say sorry… You’re like- so good.” Jeongguk sighs to himself out of your view. He’s leaning back in the chair, while running a hand through his sweaty hair. Little tremors of pleasure are still coursing through him, when he closes his eyes, blissed out, dazed and relaxed. Finally, after months of being pent up. “So, so good.” He murmurs softly, distractedly. 

 His hand that reached under the bar to grab yours to stop you, is lazily rubbing over the back of your hand, hold light and subconscious against his thigh. He probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it and you blush, shyly pulling your hand away. He doesn’t show any sign of even noticing and you both settle into a soft quiet, only your breaths sounding in the room.

 “Um.” You say eloquently.

 “Fuck sorry.” Jeongguk says, scooting the chair back to put his now soft cock away. He rolls his eyes to himself. Way to get stuck in the afterglow by himself with his flaccid cock in some girls face. “Let me get you a towel.”

 “Should I put the blindfold back on?” You ask.

 “Uh- Yeah.” He says stilted. This is weird. You just made him cum so hard he almost knocked out, and now he’s making you cover your eyes so you don’t figure out who he is. 

 You hear the hesitation in the man’s voice and assure him that it’s okay, while grabbing the blindfold you tucked into the waistband of your leggings. You knew how it went, you signed the papers. Patiently you wait until you hear him coming back and sense a soft moist towel being shoved under the bar. You blindly grab it with a soft, “Thanks.”

 “I’ll go wait in the bathroom so you can- I don’t know…? Get ready to go I guess.” You hear his heavy boots retreat to the bathroom, that’s located on his side of the curtain, assuring that he wouldn’t be seeing you on his way.

 With the blindfold off, you go about cleaning yourself. Your knees crack when you stand up after being sat on them for so long. Wincing, you run a hand through your long hair and walk over to the table where you left your bag. You leave the used rag in its place and you shoulder the purse. About to make your way to the door, you pause.

 “I’m uh- leaving?” You yell unsure.

 “Okay,” He yells back through the door. “Did you- did they- your- did they give you the-“ He stutters, not sure how to ask if you got paid.

 The wad of cash in your purse is heavy. Figuratively and literally. “Yeah, they did.” 

 “Okay… Good. I’ll um see you next time?” He sounds hesitant and shy. 

 You laugh. “Yeah I guess so.” And with that, you make your way out of the hotel, thinking that he sounds a whole lot less entitled and cocky than he did when you first got there.

~~~

hiii guysss! thanks for reading this lil drabble! This is kind of like a teaser for a longer fic i have on the back burner (let me know if you like the concept and want me to continue!) but i wanted to post something because i havent for a few weeks bc i have been soo busy with school pls i want to cry 🥲 i should be doing maths as i post this lmao. ANYWAY! thanks again for reading, if u liked it, pls like, comment, reblog, or even send an ask! love talking to u guys n feedback is always lovely <3

[ddarker-dreams]

Yan Childe, Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Beidou & Ningguang / Courting Darling.

Warnings: Stalking, implied blackmail, kidnapping, and gaslighting. Note: this is a bit of an amalgamation from different asks i’ve gotten, put into one thing bc i thirst for these six characters so hard .

Childe:

“What’s life without a little adventure? You can stand to miss work for a day or two, it’ll still be there waiting for you when we get back. People have even gone so far as to say I’m an absolute joy to be around. You want to know who said that? Sorry, that source is staying a secret.” 

Childe is an erratic whirlwind of highs and lows. You never know what to expect from him, and he likes it that way, always keeping you on your toes. He doesn’t bother with having his friendliness appear genuine. If you want to doubt his goodwill, then so be it, he won’t stop you. It just makes it all the more interesting to keep you around should you be wary of his presence. 

He doesn’t care for the traditional conventions surrounding romance. It isn’t his thing, and he’s used to being considered the odd one out of every crowd, so why stop now? Childe doesn’t tone down any aspects of his bloodthirsty personality in your presence. It’s difficult to tell how serious he’s being since most of it takes the form of jokes or other lighthearted jests. In his mind, the fact he’s even spending so much time with you should make it obvious he’s interested. Whether that’s good or not. 

You’re going to be dragged all over the place. Childe’s stamina is seemingly an infinite well, as he takes you from activity to activity. By the end of the day, you’ll be exhausted. Unfortunately, he doesn’t take no for an answer, weaseling his way into your schedule despite your protests. Childe is particularly fond of getting into situations where a fight is inevitable, purposefully taking you to areas with monsters to show off his combat prowess. 

“Did you get a look at that, [First]? Aha, I haven’t had this much fun in ages! You already want to head back? Hm, I don’t know, the night is still young. Stop dragging your feet or I might just have to carry you. Not that I’m complaining, should that be the outcome. It’s up to you. Oh! Now that’s the spirit! I’ll try not to be hurt by how fast you’re moving now.” 

Diluc: 

“Ah, [First], I take it you’re doing well. I couldn’t help but notice you eyeing this book at the market earlier. I’ve had a copy of it for ages, but with how busy things are, rarely do I have time to read. I’d be appreciative should you accept this and give it a better home.” 

Diluc is self-assured in many areas of his life, romance is not one of them. He knows how to carry himself in the company of businessmen, staying polite and vigilant, but this rigid method doesn’t work in his favor when it comes to wooing you. To soften the blow on his side, Diluc tells himself that it was never about a relationship anyway. That his main priority was and will always be to ensure your safety. He tells himself this, but... isn’t sure if he really believes it. 

He’s a perfect example of pining from afar. Subconsciously, he’ll drift towards areas you tend to linger around, hoping to spot you amidst the bustling crowds. Each time he tells himself that this’ll finally be the time he approaches you. The opportunity is set before him, waiting to be taken advantage of, but he rarely follows through with his desire. 

It frustrates Diluc to no end how easily others flock to you. He’ll stand there, still as a statue, eyes boring into whatever pest currently holds your attention. This would be the push to finally send him your way. It’s a surprise to you both when Mondstadt’s wine tycoon materializes by your side, politely asking to speak in private. Truth be told, he just can’t stand the thought of another person holding your attention that isn’t him. 

“I apologize for my abruptness back there. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about for some time, and well... would you consider having dinner with me tonight? I’d appreciate your company.” 

Kaeya:

“It’s a funny thing, really. How we keep bumping into one another like this. Ah... that suspicious expression, it wounds me deep, sweetheart. When did you start looking at me like that, I wonder?” 

There’s no doubting Kaeya’s interest in you, from the first time he sauntered over to you and started a conversation. The problem you have is deciding how genuine his advances are. While Kaeya might not be the textbook definition of a heart-wrenching playboy, you’re familiar enough with the many rumors surrounding him to be wary. It doesn’t help that he’ll point this out to you when guessing the source of your apprehension. 

His methods are, oddly enough, effective. Kaeya balances the various aspects of seduction with ease. He reveals just enough about himself to draw out your attention, before focusing the conversation back onto you. You’ll never get to stop and realize how little you know about the man sitting in front of you, he makes certain of that.

Kaeya might hide certain aspects of himself, but his dubious morality is never concealed. He has you entirely wrapped around his finger, words validating his actions falling from his lips with the utmost ease; he’s a force to be reckoned with. You’ll start a conversation heated about something you’ve learned, only for it to end wondering why you were ever upset in the first place.

“Now, now, there’s no need to get all riled up over something like this. Don’t you trust me by now? When have I ever given you reason to doubt me? You need to take a look at the bigger picture. Hey, take a seat. I’ll sit here all night explaining to you if it’s necessary.” 

→[More underneath the cut].

Zhongli: 

“There must be something that I can assist you with. It may not look it, but I’m familiar with many fields of work, even obscure ones. Please allow me to lend a hand.” 

Zhongli, despite having been around for many centuries, is somewhat clueless in romantic pursuits. He’s aware of his fondness for you, but doesn’t know what to do with it. This leads him to becoming your shadow for some time. He focuses on what he knows best: observation and processing new information. Your every little movement will be analyzed and tuck into the back of his mind for later usage. 

Zhongli’s soft over the idea of you coming to rely on him for everything. He prides himself on his wealth of knowledge and work ethic, believing it a strong appeal, one that he puts on full display when you’re around. It’s not rare for you to overhear neighbors and friends speak highly about Zhongli. They’ll mention in passing how they were having difficulty with something, only for Zhongli to come around and help without asking for anything in return. 

This is exactly what he’s been hoping and waiting for. Zhongli has patience and sets himself up to be a desirable partner in your eyes, the efforts from his labor coming into fruition. Before you even speak to him for the first time, you’re likely to think highly of him, having heard all the ways he’s helped people close to you. Now that the stage is properly set, he’s ready to make his interest in you more evident. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you, [First]. Oh? You can say the same for me? Well, I hope I can live up to your expectations. I had just been on my way to Yanshang Teahouse, would you care to join me? My treat, of course.” 

Beidou: 

“You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a voyage with my crew and I. I’ll set up a nice cabin just for you, how does that sound? Hm? Special treatment? Don’t worry your pretty little head about that, lass.”  

Beidou’s attention is overwhelming and oftentimes dangerous. Traditional social conventions are nothing but a waste of time for her, meaning that common courtesy is disregarded in favor of always speaking her mind. Which might not be so bad if she wasn’t so amorous. Even the most oblivious person couldn’t miss Beidou’s overt favor towards you.

This reverent display of affection is only exacerbated when she’s drunk, face flushed and an arm swung tightly around your shoulder. She doesn’t care who sees, who’s judging, or what gossip will be born from her actions. Beidou makes a point of showing everyone in the vicinity that even if you aren’t officially partners yet, a claim has been staked on you. 

Whether it be coercion or some other unsightly method, Beidou is intent on bringing you on her ship at least once. Or that’s how she initially phrased it to you. Imagine your surprise, that when you finally caved so she’d drop the subject, her crew was untying the ropes keeping the boat at port. 

“The fun’s just getting started, you haven’t seen anything yet. Don’t get all teary-eyed yet, sweetheart, I know you’ll come around. This’ll be a story sung by sailors for generations to come.”

Ningguang:

“If I’m being honest, not many are given the opportunity to speak to me outside of business-related ventures. I never thought I’d find it this... pleasant. I hope you’ll continue to entertain me as you do now.” 

Ningguang starts off her wooing in a subtle, almost coquettish manner. She is confident in her charm and brilliance. Not many have been gifted in the art of conversation to the same extent Ningguang has, her silver tongue paired with quick intellect making it difficult for you to escape. She’ll corner you verbally without you even noticing it. 

Ningguang finds amusement in how you stumble over your words, pure of heart and not chained down by special interests. Your forthright but considerate demeanor intoxicates her. She’s used to people cowering in her presence or trying too hard to pursue their goals. You might even earn a rare compliment or two, disguised as politeness, that doesn’t register for hours. 

She is a lady of fine taste. The sky’s the limit when it comes to her wealth, which is unrivaled throughout Tevyat, and you’ll be quick to notice this. Ningguang is most partial to sending you traditional Liyue adornments, believing the rich culture behind each piece suits your beauty. She’s also fond of the fact that when you wear her gifts, everyone in the vicinity will know it’s from her, due to its extraordinarily high cost. 

“Do you like my latest gift, little dove? It was made custom with you in mind, an unrivaled display of craftmanship, if I may add. Wear this and carry me with you... always.” 

[iamanartichoke]

Another totally unprompted ask, on the assumption that you are definitely no longer in need of them… another thing I’m trying to work out about Loki characterisation in preparation for perpetrating fic torture on him is how suicidal the poor sod is most of the time. This is another thing I’ve seen referred to a lot but only in passing. Though obviously this is a pretty triggery topic, so ignore if you want.

I am always in need of totally unprompted asks, otherwise I just assume no one wants to talk to me lmao

So, hoo boy. I have been mulling over this for, apparently, three days now bc there's just ... there's a lot to unpack here. Putting under a cut for obviously triggery content and also for length bc fml.

In my opinion, the response to "how suicidal is Loki most of the time" is "very, but whether or not he wants to do anything about it varies from moment to moment" (see what I did there? I'll see myself out). In other words, I have always had a headcanon that Loki is consistently, passively suicidal. This is a headcanon that comes straight from TDW, bc I'm certain that Loki never had any intention of surviving their mission. And that could be a whole other post, really, but the point is that even though this is a TDW-centric headcanon, I have come to adopt it as applying to Loki in general as well, not just in those specific circumstances.

When I say passively suicidal, I mean that Loki is just sort of ambivalent about the value of his own life. He feels like he doesn't deserve to be alive, and feels like there's little point in being alive. Which - I don't mean to sound all gloom and doom, like, poor uwu emo Loki (and I kinda hate that I have to pause to disclaim that, no, I don't just have a fixation on Loki being depressed for funsies/the aesthetic/whatever); I think that this mindset stems from really complicated places that I'm not sure I can articulate, but I will try.

I view Loki as someone who suffers from a severe inferiority complex, and I feel like it stems from being abandoned as an infant. Loki's life started with a traumatic event and, even if he doesn't remember the event itself, the feelings he experienced stayed in his subconscious. Feelings of loss, of fear, of despair and abandonment, of suffering - these are all feelings that burrowed into his bones and lived there for his entire life, feelings that colored how Loki viewed himself as a person as well as how he compared to the people around him.

Keep in mind that Loki didn't know he was abandoned until the events of Thor 1, obviously. We don't really know how old Loki is, in human years, but I have always assumed that he and Thor were at least adults (not teenagers), maybe the equivalent of early twenties - and the reason I bring that up is because it means Loki made it all the way to adulthood carrying the weight of a trauma that he did not remember or even knew had happened, so to him, there was no real reason for how wrong he felt. There was no explanation for the feelings of loss, of neglect, of fear. So on top of struggling with those feelings, Loki was also burdened with the alienation that comes with wondering why one can't just be like everyone else, why one can't just "snap out" of depression, why one's sense of self-worth has always been lacking.

So imagine what it's like to grow up as Loki. He was traumatized as an infant. The trauma has been with him his entire life, along with the confusion/alienation of not understanding why he feels the way that he does, and then on top of that, his basic personality lends itself toward introspection and isolation, so he likely felt even further removed from Thor and from his peers. Loki's too smart for his own good, and he's got an enormous capacity to feel and I feel like this is a combination that works against him as much as it does for him, bc it probably means he spent a lot of time examining himself and identifying all of his perceived flaws - and then berating himself for said flaws.

People with depression are probably pretty familiar with the bully that lives in your head, the one who is always there to remind you that you're stupid, or ugly, or that nobody likes you, or that you have nothing of value to contribute to anyone, etc. Loki's no different; he's got that bully in his head, too. Add onto this the fact that his brother is literally perfect, that he feels his father doesn't love him (or love him as much), that his interests in things like magic are looked down on in his culture, and that he's a prince (meaning that along with the privilege comes pressure, and being in the public eye, knowing that everyone around him is comparing him to Thor as much as he compares himself to Thor, well.) and you have a total clusterfuck of a mindset, and Loki's been existing inside of that clusterfuck for nearly all of his life.

I always go back to the quote where, when filming I think the vault scene, Kenneth Branagh directs Tom by saying, "This is the moment where the thin steel rod holding your brain together snaps." And it's such a significant moment for Loki bc this is where it all crumbles for him, learning the truth, but I also fixate on the "thin steel rod" part of the quote bc that's not how one would describe a healthy, stable person's mind. The implication, to me, has always been that Loki wasn't that stable to start with due to his general upbringing, his internal struggles, and his personality, so of course the devastation of learning he's adopted, and Jotun, would send him over the edge. One doesn't go from zero to 60; one doesn't fall over the edge unless they were balancing fairly close to it in the first place. And to me, the "thin steel rod" basically equals the aforementioned clusterfuck of a mindset.

THE POINT IS. (Holy shit, I ramble.) This is the foundation on which I'm basing my headcanon that Loki neither values his life nor feels as if he even deserves to live it - bc his default mindset is one of inferiority, of loss, of pain. And I think that going from being a general unstable person pre-canon to being passively suicidal post-canon is a thing that happened because, somewhere between the vault in Thor 1 and the dungeons in TDW, Loki just stopped caring.

Life is exhausting for everyone, but even moreso when your mental load becomes more than you can carry. Loki is exhausted. His experience is that things just keep getting worse and worse for him - he's never been valued, he's always been found wanting. He discovers that he was literally thrown away as an infant, unwanted and left to die, and things haven't gotten much better for him since then. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. His plans spin out of control. He's unable to prove his worth and his value and when he is, in fact, rejected, he literally tries to kill himself (only to survive and end up in an even worse situation).

It all just continually goes downhill, and Loki is fucking exhausted. He's done. He has no hope that anything is ever going to change - he will never be valued or even seen, he's unable to connect to anyone, he has no family (aside from Thor, but their relationship is so fraught with pain). As far as he's concerned, his life has been nothing but a waste since he was born and if no one else values it, why should he?

So - passively suicidal. He places no value on his life, and doesn't shy away from situations that could cost him his life. It's possible that the only reason he's not actively suicidal is bc his previous attempt not only failed but led to such a horrible situation that he's probably too afraid to intentionally seek out death again. He doesn't want to fail and end up worse off for it.

And - not that you asked this in particular, but - my biggest disappointment in the series is that none of what I've just written is addressed in a satisfying way (to me). That is, we don't get any real explicit acknowledgement of the trauma of Loki's abandonment as a baby or how that affected his mental health growing up; we don't get to explore how devastated he was to learn of his adoption; we don't ever see him reconcile his ingrained belief that jotuns are monstrous savages with the fact that he is jotun. He says "I betrayed everyone I loved, but I'm different now" and we're supposed to infer what he means without Loki actually articulating why he feels that he's the only one who should be held responsible for all these things that had happened or what "I've changed" even means to him (aside from not betraying Sylvie).

I would have liked to see these things addressed for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I would want to see how Loki comes to terms with all of his issues and his pain enough that he stops being passively suicidal. We never get to see that; after TDW, the time that passes allows for Loki to kinda chill, resulting in the Ragnarok version, but if there was any real healing or recovering going on, it was happening off-screen, with the audience expected to just go with "yeah Loki was going through it for awhile but he's kinda better now."

Furthermore, much of what I've written here is based on prime Loki's development through TDW, but doesn't account for series Loki's split from that timeline nor the theme of "Lokis survive" that's so prevalent in the series. So I don't think the "passively suicidal" headcanon is really appropriate for series Loki but, at the same time, I'd like to have seen why. I'd like to have seen Loki learning to value his life, or where the "we survive" mindset comes from, since that's not really been a thing before now. (Out of universe, I suspect it comes from the context of Loki just not dying whenever he tries to, but since TDW and IW haven't happened, and Loki didn't intend to survive his fall from the bifrost, framing Loki as an innate survivor doesn't really make sense, but to be fair, I'm just being picky.)

So, yeah. I'm not saying Loki doesn't experience growth or development in the series, I'm just saying that his arc left much unsaid and, furthermore, framing his growth as "wanting a throne to not wanting a throne" without addressing that Loki doesn't actually want the power of the throne, he wants the value and self-worth he associates with the throne, is - well, again, unsatisfying. Not bad, but it leaves viewers like me wanting bc we're cognizant of how much more could have been done.

I ... am going to end this now. This is probably nonsensical and all over the place, so I'm very sorry, and I'm sure this is why I don't get meta-starter asks lmfao bc no one's out here trying to read my dissertation submission for a Ph.D in Loki, but well, sometimes it just be like that.

Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to ramble.

[pluviophile-imagines]

LOWI CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE!! 🥺💞💞💞 u deserve it and so much more!! for the kiss prompt could i get 18 with shinsou ?? 🥺👉👈

TYSM SOFFFF so uh. I’ve been fuckin stupid dkfnskfb my dumbass rlly wrote Shinsou correctly on my master post like a week ago and then still managed to write for Shigaraki instead when it came to the actual piece 😳 so thanks to my handyman brainrot you get two—that’s right, two!—characters for the price of one ur welcome ♥️ I cheated a lil bit so shinsou;s not sitting in the reader’s lap it’s just his head but i think its cute 🥺 also Shiggy’s is like twice as long as ive been trying to write them oops i rlly like the jealous reader premise 👉👈 it’s under the read more bc of that and bc of kiiiinda spoilers? if yall arent caught up to the manga you won’t get it but if u are it’s canonical. Whew that was a lot! Enjoy!

Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap

Shinsou

To say that your relationship with Shinsou is new would be an understatement. You’ve been friends for years—ever since the third year of high school when you’d been assigned to him as his support—but you’ve never been particularly close until recently when you’d once again found yourself working on his hero costume and support items.

He’d only asked you out yesterday after nearly two months of tension-filled glances and fleeting touches. Now, the two of you are watching a movie at your mutual friend Kirishima’s apartment, sitting quite awkwardly on a loveseat and pretending like you don’t want to get closer to each other. You haven’t told your friends yet about your new relationship status, but that’s not entirely what’s holding you two back. If anything, it’s run-of-the-mill first date awkwardness (if watching a movie with six of your closest friends around can be considered a date), too afraid to initiate anything.

The movie’s dull; the two of you have pulled out your phones to snark at each other through text, a strategy you’d begun weeks ago after being hushed one too many times by Kaminari because you were talking too loudly. The bright screens probably aren’t all that much better, but you two are in the back anyway; nobody can see it unless they turn away from the TV.

You risk a glance up and end up locking eyes with Shinsou. Your face heats up, heartbeat quickening, as he gives you a charming smile. You watch him glance around the room, unsure at first why he’s doing it until he turns his attention back to you and slowly, silently, moves over across the loveseat into your personal space.

Your legs are touching now, faces so close your nose is nearly brushing his. One of his hands has come to brace against the armrest you’re leaning on, allowing him to stay leaning in.

“Hey,” he says, little more than a whisper and clearly hushed so the others don’t hear.

“Hey yourself,” you respond, earning yourself a low snort.

Instead of vocally responding, he pushes himself back up to a sitting position and then moves his hands to maneuver your legs until you’re no longer curled up against the couch’s backing but sitting like a normal person.

Then he lays down, head resting on your thighs, and turns to face the movie.

You’re grinning uncontrollably. All possible self-conscious thoughts of the others seeing you are dashed from your mind; you like the weight of him in your lap too much.

You spend much of the rest of the movie like that, easily over half an hour. A few minutes in he reaches down to find your hand and bring it to his hair, encouraging you to stroke it. It’s even softer than you’ve imagined in the past, fluffy and thick and genuinely nice to run your hands though. There’s a surge of contentment that rushes through you, and maybe a little bit of pride at the knowledge that you can do this pretty much any time you want now.

By the end of the film, you’re pretty sure Shinsou’s fallen asleep. He gives you the scare of your life, however, when he grabs your arm as you’re trying to pull away. His eyes open, purple irises trained on you.

What happens next you blame on grogginess, him still not quite being awake. He blames it on you; whenever you mention it, he says he saw you and had become consumed with an overwhelming desire to just lean up and kiss you. Whatever the reason, it’s nice for you.

His hand comes up to the back of your neck, tugging you down just as much as he lifts up. It begins soft, kind of sweet, just lips as the two of you melt into each other—but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Within moments the two of you morph the kiss from a quick peck after a movie to a very passionate makeout, and frankly you’d be more concerned if they hadn’t interrupted the two of you.

You pull away when you hear Kaminari’s wolf whistle, left sitting on the loveseat with a burning face and your boyfriend in your lap, still half asleep.

Shigaraki

You’re not jealous.

No, you’ve been dating Tomura for months. You can’t be jealous when he’s, well, yours, and has been for quite some time. You’re his first relationship, his first everything, and it’s frankly foolish of you to feel this insecure just because some floozy is simpering at him from across the enormous room where you and the rest of the League are scattered about. It’s not like she really wants him, or even knows him; he’s just the hew big-shot leader and she’s decided being his lover sounds good. Too bad that role’s already taken.

Still, there’s a sinking feeling in your chest—an ache in your heart, a burning lump in your throat—that says now that Tomura is Grand Commander he’ll drop you for someone better.

You don’t realize you’re glaring daggers at the woman until she catches your eye. She has no business looking that smug; the only reason she’s allowed in the room is to give Tomura reports. You’re the one lounging next to him as she approaches; he has your legs over his lap, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing circles on your thigh.

And when she bends down to drop the report on his lap (as if your damn legs aren’t there, you want to scoff) she draws the eyes of every League member except the one she wants, because you’re the one who has Tomura’s attention.

He’s wearing Father, but you’ve long passed being afraid when he looks at you from between those lifeless digits and you can see the expression beneath; those lips tugging down slightly in a pout, brow furrowed, eyes far softer than they have any damn business being while hiding behind the severed hand of his old man. He’s concerned, and a little confused.

Tomura plucks the report from your legs and sets it aside, reaching to pull you fully into his lap. To your surprise he takes Father off, too; he buries his face into your neck to prevent the outsider from seeing, lips just brushing your ear so that you can hear him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been pouting ever since the secretary came in, brat.”

Like hell you’re saying anything in front of her. You remain stubbornly silent.

He doesn’t like that, you can tell, but while the secretary’s interest is lost on him he knows you well enough to tell that you’re uncomfortable with her. Presumably that’s why he doesn’t press the issue and kisses you instead.

You don’t expect it. Tomura’s not exactly one to shy away from PDA (you’re sitting in his lap in front of the whole League, for fuck’s sake), but intimacy is something he’s never wanted to take beyond closed doors. When he’s in a sour mood you’ll kiss him sometimes, even in public (he’s invigorated by your affection in many way, but never anything you’d call heated.

This kiss, though, is. It’s anything but chaste, perhaps even downright lewd. He’s all but initiating a makeout with you while Miss Secretary is standing right there. Maybe his affection-motivated ways are rubbing off on you, but it helps more than it probably ought to.

You’re dazed by the time he pulls away. The sound of the door slamming closed snaps you from your trance. The secretary, ploy foiled simply by your annoyed expression, had left. It doesn’t matter. None of this was ever really about her in the first place.

“There,” Tomura says, audibly quite pleased with himself. “She’s gone. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You sigh, leaning in to tuck your own head into his shoulder. Your voice is muffled when you speak, quiet so that only he can hear.

“It’s dumb.”

“It’s bothering you,” he says simply. There’s an underlying statement there: tell me so I can destroy it for you. In many ways, Tomura is a predictable man.

You know he’s not going to drop it, so you accept your fate. “She was making a pass at you.”

He tenses beneath you, holding you closer. You risk lifting your head from where it’s buried to see the way his nose is scrunched up. “She wasn’t.”

“Yeah, she was.”

There’s a pause, like he’s processing everything you’re saying. Then, seemingly finally registering what exactly is bothering you, his hands move to grip your hips and maneuver you to straddle him, sitting fully on his lap facing him. “Fine. Why’re you pissed about it, then?”

You lean in again, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his chest and try to ignore the tears that are coming. You’d never be able to live it down if any of the others saw you crying over the fucking secretary.

But you know more than anyone thanks to many late nights assuring your boyfriend he’s the only one for you that Tomura can empathize with this insecurity. It’s a little strange how the script has flipped.

“She’s a high ranking MLA member, she probably has some crazy strong quirk. I’m quirkless. I dunno. I guess I’m scared you’ll drop me for someone like her. Like I said, it’s dumb.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. You sit there, listening to his heartbeat and matching your breathing to his. Then he speaks.

“Your emotions aren’t dumb. It’s okay that you’re feeling this way. Thank you for telling me.” He’s parroting you, you realize; this is what you tell him every time he comes to you for comfort when he’s gotten in a mood. You feel a little fuzzy, warmth flooding your chest. “But I think we both know they’re irrational.”

“Tomura… I—”

“I’m not interested in some lame-ass NPC,” he interrupts, no hesitation and entirely sincere. He doesn’t even need to think about it. “You’re my player two, my endgame. The only thing in this world worth protecting. You really think that secretary can hold a candle to you? I didn’t even notice her. Why would I when you’re here?”

You can’t help it, you surge upward and kiss him, just as passionately as he had you mere moments before. His right hand traces up your spine to find the back of your neck and pull you closer, sending a thrill through your body as your own arms tighten around him.

“Oi! Horndogs! Get a damn room, don’t make us see that!”

You break away at Dabi’s words, panting slightly, and if the sincerity of Tomura’s little rant hadn’t convinced you that his words were true, the look of utter adoration he’s regarding you with would have.

[luvcif]

here’s a little haul of everything I’ve gotten

I’m gonna be sharing my experience with every store and rating them from least easy to easy

This is my experience so far as a beginner so please don’t judge any mistakes I’m still learning lmao

All from Late May - July

Disclaimer: ‼️the stuff in the photo isn’t everything !!!‼️ Also sorry about any grammar errors!

DãveAñdBûstérs (purple )

This is extremely fucking ez especially on school trips bc nobody gives af I’ll do a haul on everything I’ve ever gotten from this place bc holy shit how. I’ll tell you this, I’m pretty sure the employees know but their not forced to do anything. Once I came out of d&b with 2 big ass bags filled with shit n they didn’t even say anything (I wouldn’t do it agian though I was like 10 I didn’t give af) that’s probably why they let me go 😭😭😭 overall super easy (10/10)

DollárTrée ( green)

Holy fucking shit this one is easy asf , the one I went to was kinda busted ,there’s no security at all and only 3-4 workers they all stay at the cashiers lol , there was a lot of stacked up boxes which makes easy blind spots and their cameras are super sh1tty lol I got like 5 nails from there a face mask and more but they didn’t have shit so we just took what we could over all really easy (11/10)

P@rtyc1ty (blue )

Also a easy one , could have taken more but I kept getting nervous, one big ass mistake I made was going with 3 people 😭 we went crazy in their toy isle I’m pretty sure they saw us but wtv,

Apparently went my brother went back there with my mom he noticed an employee following him so there’s that ig . He didn’t take anything either so that’s kinda sus ig.... pretty easy just get what u wanna get and gtfo ( 8.5/10)

Tárgét (red)

NEVER AGIAN 💀‼️

There’s employees everywhereeee they’re even in groups like wtf...I wouldn’t recommend this to any beginners it’s just not it you have to be one sneaky mf to get away with this. I had to go back just for the hello kitty lip toner bc duh!!! It’s hello kitty mf btw I highly recommend you go with a friend just don’t act overly sus . (3/10)

M@rsh@lls, tjmáxx (yellow)

I put them together bc they both have a lot in common, really easy just don’t chicken out.

One thing I noticed is that they leave their make out opened for some reason , not used but the packaging is open, they don’t tag their makeup & it’s super easy ESPECIALLY m@rsh@lls lots of blind spots. There aren’t much employees btw they usually at the front but I will say this , take what you want/need and gtfo. (8/10)

C\/S ( white )

Pretty easy , they do tag some of their makeup but one thing I fucked up with is staying for to long so they probably knew something was up . Fairly easy ( 6/10)

My moms shop /j ( black)

She knows I take some of her stuff from time to time so yh easy as pie (I’m not rating this one lol)btw the pheromone perfume goes crazy!!!😭😭

I’m gonna try Walgreens since I noticed there zero staff and they don’t have cameras wish me luck

That’s all for now luvs x!!

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

ok let’s talk SUNSCREEN

SO the UV filters available in the US can at this point be considered truly terrible. One of the main reasons you’re supposed to reapply sunscreen every two hours is that many of the filters we use are destroyed by the very UV radiation they are designed to block. Killed in the line of duty, thank you for your sacrifice, etc. Counterpoint: sunscreen is gross and reapplying it every two hours is the worst. I am not doing that. Fortunately, Europe and Japan/Korea have been much quicker to approve newly developed more stable UV filters for use and at this point they have some really good ones. They also have much better UVA protection, both because of the better filters available and better labeling regulations.

A quick simplified summary: UVB causes sunburns, is directly absorbed by DNA strands which causes the mutations that lead to skin cancer, SPF measures protection against this only. UVA does more generic damage, creates free radicals associated with aging, wrinkles, collagen loss, pigmentation, etc. etc., but can also contribute to immunosuppression and therefore skin cancer. It’s more complex than this obviously but that’s not really the point of this post.

My sunscreen criteria: I hate wearing sunscreen. However, Accutane + sun = an extremely bad time. My ideal sunscreen is something that doesn’t feel disgusting to wear so I will wear it regularly in the first place (i.e. dry-touch), something I ideally don’t have to reapply super often under normal daily use (i.e. photostable UV filters, water-resistant when necessary), and has maximum protection. As long as I’m wearing it, I also want as much UVA protection as I can find, without compromising the former criteria.

Note: The sunscreens I tried are almost all chemical UV filters and several are loaded with alcohol, so if that upsets your skin then proceed with caution/ask me for a specific rec!

Note 2: All of these are SPF50+ (the highest rating allowed in the EU (meaning they tested at at least SPF60) unless otherwise specified *cough*Supergoop*cough*)

Best Face: Kao Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence (x)

Best feel, best protection, best price point. This gets recommended everywhere for a reason. Bit of a silicone feel on the face. No white cast. Smells like alcohol at first. Really, really quality daily face sunscreen. Water resistant. Caveat that because of the alcohol I would make sure to throw a layer of moisturizer on beforehand to make sure I’m not totally drying myself out.

Also make sure you get the name exactly right, there’s a blah blah Watery Gel that’s totally different consistency, totally different filters, etc. etc. It has to be Watery Essence.

Best Body: Eucerin Sun Sensitive Protect Dry Touch Sun Gel-Cream (x)

This was a sleeper hit, so shout-out to Eucerin for the greatest body sunscreen I’ve ever tried. This stuff is SO protective and dries SO. DAMN. DRY. Zero grease somehow, feels like nothing. It’s even water resistant. I tried a couple LRP body sunscreens but they honestly aren’t worth mentioning. Eucerin or bust babey!

More Face Sunscreens:

I’ve also tried all top five sunscreens from this Stylevana listicle of Asian face SPF (x). The thing about face sunscreens that they’ve started doing is loading them up with silicones and acrylate polymers, which leaves a silicone-y feel on your skin like a makeup primer. As far as I can tell from poking through various patents, these polymers are doing a few things in the formula: a) emulsifying/stabilizing the newer/bigger UV filter molecules, and creating an occlusive layer over the UV filter molecules on the skin to a) improve water resistance and b) reduce eye stingy-ness. At first I thought I wanted to avoid these seemingly unnecessary additives but considering their function, these are all features I want/need in a face sunscreen so we’re living with them.

1. Shiseido - Anessa Perfect UV Sunscreen Skincare Milk: really good, sliiight white cast but absolutely no streaks, more like a foundation just a hair too light for my skin tone. However I can’t imagine buying this because #2 on the list is better and 1/3 the price. Medium silicone feel. Something I’d probably only break out for when I went to an outdoor summer wedding.

2. Kao - Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence: I have already sung its praises.

3. MISSHA - All Around Safe Block Essence Sun Milk: closest to a US milky/greasy sunscreen experience here, though very fluid and still absorbs nicely. No silicone feel. Not a bad choice but nothing special.

4. Canmake - Mermaid Skin Gel UV: probably second favorite after Biore. Similar, bit less of a silicone feel. I’ve gotten red a couple times using this though, possibly because less silicone feel = no layer of protection against sweat/physically rubbing off? I bet this would be perfect under makeup though, it’s super light.

5. COSRX - Aloe Soothing Sun Cream: SO moisturizing, almost a dewy feel that sits on your skin and never dries. I wanted to love her, but unfortunately she is so loaded with the aforementioned polymers that when you reapply/put the appropriate amount on to begin with, it completely gums up and pills and you lose all protection. Also definitely not water resistant. Probably my top pick for a winter daily face sunscreen that I wouldn’t ever be worrying about reapplying though.

Other Contenders:

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Invisible Fluid (x) and Bioderma Photoderm Max Milk (x)

These two bad boys have the highest rated UVA protection currently on the market, 46 PPD for La Roche-Posay and 42 PPD for Bioderma. The LRP is extremely watery (technically alcohol-y) and comes in a teeny bottle(though same size as a lot of these I guess) but it is The Best UVA protection money can buy. The texture is really nice too, and feels super water resistant. If I’m outside sweating or on the water in the summer, this is going on my face. I've also seen it on sale multiple times since I’ve started researching sunscreens (because it’s extremely popular) so you can definitely find it in the $0.30/mL-or-less tier if you keep an eye out.

This Bioderma is cheaper and also extremely protective (thanks Helena @bronyraurmp3 for the rec!) but unfortunately it stung both my and Mr T’s eyes like a BITCH. Extremely unpleasant experiences for both of us. TBH if I’m out in midday sun, swimming or kayaking or something, I’m gonna be wearing a long-sleeved UPF rashguard to protect my arms and upper body and not worrying too much about whatever cheap greasy sunscreen I put on my legs. This Bioderma stuff would be going on my neck, ears, and hands though bc it’s super water resistant.

Eucerin Sun Sensitive Protect Mattifying Fluid : bit of a white cast, really slippy texture going on and nice dry touch texture when it dried down, but drying down took foreeever. Probably really nice if you’re sensitive and pale.

Eucerin Sun Oil Control Gel-Cream Dry Touch : VERY matte and dry-touch, would have loved it if I hadn’t gotten burned using it (doesn’t have all the newest most stable UV filters). Approaching the expensive end of things too, but would be a lovely option if you really prioritize non-greasiness and don’t need the premium protection? Mr T really liked using it on his bald head lol.

Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen SPF40 (US): This is recommended many places but it has to be a joke that people are actually paying Shiseido Anessa prices for old American UV filter selection, only SPF 40, and no UVA rating to speak of, right??? (ok they do have a PA+++ rating meaning a PPD of 8-16, so. this is acceptable.) I did not test this one but damn wtf. The texture is probably nice though and it looks perfectly sheer in the photos on their website, so maybe as a last resort for darker skintones that show a white cast with everything else? At that price tho... you do you but damn.

Jigott Snail UV Sun Block : This had good reviews on Yesstyle but it sucked. White streaks, bad.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Ultra-Light Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF60 (US): Another in the outdoor-wedding only price range. There’s a tinted and a non-tinted mineral version and I ended up mixing them together to get a shade that looked pretty good on me, but needing two bottles for that puts it in the extremely ridiculous price category. Really slippy nice texture that takes a bit to dry but dries down perfectly matte. I guess the person who wants to shell out for a high end all-mineral tinted sunscreen exists somewhere out there but I would bet there are many nice cheaper mineral options out there that I haven’t tried.

And that’s it! For EU sunscreens, I was able to order them on caretobeauty.com, and Japanese/Korean ones from yesstyle.com or stylevana.com, though I had to go to eBay for the Biore and Anessa. I ordered some Biore from a seller on Amazon but they shipped from Japan and I think they got taken by customs because the last known location on the tracking info is Chicago, so finding a seller in the US that has already imported them seems like a good idea (vendor lullabellabeauty on eBay worked great for me, fwiw, I will definitely order my Biore from there in the future).

If you have specific questions about any of these, or if you have any recs you think I should try, hmu! You will be shocked I’m sure to hear I have a whole sunscreen database at this point.

[cantdanceflynn]

I did the writing! Tada! Yes it’s camp camp, yes it relies too heavily on my own personal hcs, and yes it feels like it’s supposed to be animated instead. But also I’m really really proud of it bc its the first time I’ve written in ages and I think it’s good. So :D

One quiet, quiet night, at Camp Campbell, a young magician was sitting on his cot, fiddling with a mirror. It had been a little over a week since the Convergence, and frankly, Harrison had it on his mind more than ever. That octopus…… thing, whatever it was, knew his brother? His brother was alive? But, more than anything, he was worried. What if he couldn’t bring him back? What if he did but he messed something up? He’d done it before! At least when he thought his brother was gone for good, he didn’t have to think about that possibility. And he still didn’t know what was going on with his eyes. He got up, glancing over at Nerris as he left the tent. She was still asleep, but she wasn’t the heaviest sleeper, especially recently, so he needed to be quiet. She’d been questioning his tiredness recently, and he didn’t want her worried about him. She worried about him too much for someone she was rivals with anyways.

He quietly and carefully stepped out of the tent, and looked up at the moon. The sky was surprisingly clear this night, although it was growing lighter, and he could see it was a……. waxing gibbous? He was pretty sure that was right. He’d ask Nerris if she was in a good mood in the morning and if she wasn’t too questioning. But looking at it freaked him out after a moment. Part of him expected it to start glowing like it had during the Convergence, even if that wasn’t likely. Even if it wasn’t even possible. Not without the chant. He took a big sigh, and glanced in the mirror. He could only stand looking at his reflection for a split second, but it just confirmed the same thing he hoped he’d been imagining for the past week. His eyes had changed. His eyes were blue.

Not a normal blue, and definitely not the hazel they’d been inside the tent. A light, glowing blue. The blue of the ultra moon.  His mind flashed back to the first time he’d noticed it. He’d woken up alone, something that didn’t usually happen, especially with Nerris. He’d gone out to try and find her, but going to Preston’s tent first was a…….. bad idea. Preston had left a mirror outside his tent, and he was unlucky enough to look in it. He’d panicked, and tried going to David and Gwen, the only people who might have understood, or at least listened. But Campbell and all the other campers were there. The best he could come up with quickly as to why he was awake was “woke up alone and got scared”. It wasn’t a lie, but it was an understatement.

He didn’t know what it meant, but it scared him. More than he wanted to admit. He crouched, putting the mirror on the ground, being careful not to look at it, before sitting on the ground. He knew trying to sleep would just give him nightmares, and he didn’t want to risk waking up Nerris by going back in at the moment, so he stayed there. Besides, it wouldn’t be that long until daylight. Until he heard something. A familiar, loud, overdramatic voice. Shit, that was right. Preston had started waking up earlier, to do his rehearsals when people wouldn’t be as “bothered” by them. And based on the volume, he was approaching their tent. No one else had been, or really should be, considering how many activities they did each day, awake around this time. He wasn’t exactly ready to talk with him about recent events. Especially not considering Preston’s recent situation and ensuing play. He wanted to go back in the tent, but based on the sound of Nerris falling out of her cot in surprise at Preston’s voice, it was a little too late. So he stood up quickly, and ran for the forest.

It took him minutes of running through an oddly dark forest blindly for him to realize just how stupid he was being. Like, genuinely stupid. He’d gotten emotional when he was sleep-deprived before, but never to this extent. He could have probably slipped back into the tent before Nerris got her glasses on, and just pretended to sleep until Preston left the area. No one would have noticed anything, and it would have been fine. Now she would figure out why he’d been so tired lately. And if Preston had seen him, they might even be trying to find him. And now he was lost to boot. Lovely. He stomped his foot on the ground in frustration. Why did he always do this? Why could he never be reasonable? He’d gotten lost before, but never at night, and never this far in the woods. He sighed, pushing it down. The most important thing was getting somewhere safe for the next couple hours until it was properly morning, instead of a dark grey sky with fading stars and a lowering moon. That’s what David had said in most of his mandatory “camps”.

A few minutes of walking later, he was tired, and he hadn’t even walked all that far. But he was still lost. And that wasn’t a surprise. Almost everyone here hated the woods. And if no one had seen, they might not even try checking the woods. He could be lost here for ages. That thought was terrifying enough to make him consider using his magic. But when he was this worried? He remembered the single card he’d tried to make appear, and how it turned into a huge mess he’d barely been able to clean up before anyone else woke up. That was a no go. He’d probably burn up the entire forest, or start the volcano back up. Or make the forest homicidal again. And if they’d actually come after him? He shuddered.

If he used his magic while he was like this, well… That would be disastrous. Besides that, he really didn’t want to do anything that could potentially get him stuck here in the woods forever or hurt anyone. He didn’t know what he could do like this. So he continued to walk. Hopefully none of the animals David had warned them about would attack him. Bears, wolves, the platypus on a bad day. The trees were too thick to see the moon at all at this point, but he knew his eyes were still glowing. When he held his hand up to his face, there was light blue light still on it. Still dangerous, and still lost with no clue if anyone would find him.  

And then he heard their voices. That theatrical voice, this time with a worried tinge. And that all too familiar lisped condescending voice. Except it was oddly worried as well.

“Are you sure you saw him run this way?”

“OF COURSE I AM! He ran off this way!”

For a second there was a glimpse of hope. They were trying to find him! They cared! Then it hit him. He was only hearing them. Just Nerris and Preston. And that’s all the more reason for him to be scared. It was just them! They were getting themselves lost too! He didn’t want to tell them what he was seeing, what he dealt with, what he did, and he didn’t want to hurt them. That’s why he’d ran away! And now they were going to get themselves lost or hurt, or both, or worse! What was he even supposed to do here? Go towards them and explain everything? He didn’t want to do that. They’d hate him. But if he ran away, they’d all just get more lost. And it’d be his fault. He stood still, trying to figure out what to do. And then his magic decided to make that choice for him.

His hat started floating and he tried to reach, and pull it down. More things around him started floating. Little stones, twigs, all glowing and floating. To the point where it was very much visible. In that moment he heard a noise from behind him. One that sounded a lot like footsteps. With no better options regarding the whole situation, he turned around slowly, his eyes still glowing, brighter than ever. And staring at him were Nerris and Preston. Their blue and golden eyes stared right into his glowing icy blue ones, as debris floated all around the dark area.

He stuttered, trying to explain the situation.

“I-I-I……….”

He couldn’t get anything else out. He stepped back, something that seemed to snap them out of their standstill. Nerris stepped forwards first, her eyes flicking around the clearing. Preston followed, staying quiet for once, also looking around. He stepped backwards again, bumping past more floating sticks and pebbles. He kept panicking. They knew now just what he could properly do. And if he couldn’t gain control of his feelings, he’d set something off, or hurt them, or… or…… With every step he took back, a small rumble grew in the background of the scene. Nerris and Preston kept approaching him, a…… new. Was that the right word? New. Look in their eyes. He didn’t know how to describe it. It wasn’t the fearful looks he was used to. And it wasn’t sympathetic or faked. It was similar to the looks Nikki used to give him during his magic shows. Awe. It was awe.

And it was also confusion. Confusion at what was happening. But it was mostly confusion at him. He felt his chest tightening at that. He felt anger build inside. Not at them. At himself. For being such a coward. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. How he’d gotten himself into this situation. At least if they were scared of him, they’d leave him alone. They wouldn’t get hurt by his powers, and they wouldn’t disappear. He couldn’t handle that. The rumbling grew louder, and it became clear very quickly that Nerris and Preston could hear it too. Their faces grew more confused and……. scared. And for some reason, one he knew, even though this was what he wanted, he hated it. When his foot came down again, slightly harder than before, the rumbling turned into shaking. The forest began shaking around them, causing Preston to fall over, taking Nerris down with him.

It was hard to understand what was happening, but he knew enough to realize it was his fault. He was doing it. They were going to get hurt and it was all his fault! This was exactly what he was scared of. His hands flew up to the sides of his head, trying to hold it down, as he fell back onto the ground with a thud, making more debris fly around, some of it almost hitting Nerris and Preston. Preston sat up first, and helped Nerris up into a sitting position as she adjusted her glasses. He met their eyes, and somehow, their eyes still weren’t mostly filled with fear.

But instead, they were filled with a mixture between worry, and the same awe. He shook slightly, tears forming in his eyes and, as much as he tried to stop them, running down his face. As much as he didn’t want to, he couldn’t help but speak. Like he couldn’t control himself. “I d….didn’t want you guys to….. to.. get hurt.. b…..by me. A…. and now….. now.. now you w…. will.“ He tried to push the sobs down, but they bubbled up, wracking his body. The shaking started again, and the floating got worse. Bushes started uprooting themselves, full on stones in the ground and the tips of roots all started floating away, and so did Nerris and Preston, flailing at the air and trying to grab onto something.

Both of them looked panicked and terrified, as each movement threw them further into a panic. They couldn’t move while floating, no matter how hard they reached for something, or how fast they tried to control their floating. He couldn’t look at them anymore. He buried his tear stricken face in his knees, shaking and just trying to keep himself from doing anything else, because if he did anything permanent? Just that thought made everything worse. Huge chunks of the earth pulled themselves out of the ground all around him, and the leaves on the trees started floating away too. At this rate, the trees would completely float away. Along with Nerris and Preston. He buried his head even further into his legs, which were almost completely damp from his crying at this point.

And then the ground underneath him started floating too. He tried ignoring it, hoping with all his heart that it would just go back down, that he could just be left alone, that they wouldn’t worry about him ever again. He hated the idea, but it was safe. It was what everyone else had done, and what he deserved. Everything shook, forcing him onto his feet. The piece of ground around him wasn’t exactly big, and he was barely able to keep his balance. Eventually he could stand there without constantly watching his feet. He knew what he would see if he looked up. He could see the glow, ever present, just as he could still feel the tears flowing down his face. He tried to sigh, to let out some fear and frustration, but all that came out was a body wracking sob.  

After a few seconds, he gathered the very last of his courage, and looked up at Nerris and Preston, stuck floating in front of him. They looked like they were desperately trying to move, speak, do something, but his magic had reached a point where they couldn’t even do that. But the looks in their eyes were unmistakable. Fear. Perfect, typical, fear. The safe kind, that would keep them away and alive. Not hurt, not gone possibly forever, not dead. But their eyes hit his, and all that fear morphed into…… pleading. No more awe. No more confusion. Just pleading. They wanted it to be over. And so did he. He turned halfway around, trying not to see that look any longer. He couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want them to be scared of him, it hurt. But it hurt when they weren’t. Because then they’d get hurt. Above the trees, he could see the sun rising. And he knew that they could see it too. They slowly descended as the glow in his eyes faded, leaving them their typical hazel.  

The ground and everything around it settled back into place, leaving the clearing almost the same, minus the things he’d bumped into. Behind him, he heard Nerris and Preston gain their footing, now that the magic had faded. He’d stopped sobbing by this point, but tears were still falling. He waited to hear them run off, scream, say something, do something. But the only noise he could hear was a few birds chirping. He turned around hesitantly, expecting standstill fear on their faces. Instead, all he saw was…….. just them. There wasn’t any fear, or any sympathy. No awe or confusion either. It was just…….. them. Staring at him.  

Eventually Nerris spoke. "Y…you’re ok…… You’re ok, right?” Her tone was just……. worried. She was worried. About him. After everything? Why did she even care to begin with? Preston followed suit, his voice quiet for once and just as worried, with a hint of fear that Harrison no longer cared about in it. “That was……. terrifying. Are you?” Nerris stepped forwards, and reached out to touch him, but paused when she saw him flinch. She took in a shaky breath before reaching out again, patting him on the shoulder. Preston did the same, both clearly trying to comfort him. And all he could do was stare in disbelief.  

They didn’t hate him. Nerris, who he used to antagonize over something he couldn’t even control, and who he’d jab at for nothing. Preston, who he constantly teased for something he couldn’t imagine doing, let alone for as long as he had, and who he’d hurt even after the entire mental breakdown he’d had. And despite that, and despite his magic, they didn’t hate him. Despite what he just did to them. They were worried about him. “W……. why are yo……….u wo……rri…..ed abo…….ut m…..e?” He hadn’t realized how much he was still crying until he heard himself speak. It was a lot. He tried to stop them, but as always, the effort was wasted.

Another sob escaped. And another. Soon, there was nothing he could do to stop or deny it. He was crying more then he ever had before. Nerris and Preston exchanged a look, one he couldn’t read, and wrapped their arms around him. Part of him wanted to pull away. Wanted to make them go away. Wanted to convince them he was too dangerous. Like everyone else he’d really known had. But despite all of that, he found his arms wrapping around them too, as his entire body shook. But even through all the tears, he could still hear Preston’s voice. “Because we’re all your friends.”  

“Obviously!”, Nerris added comfortingly. The only response he could  muster was cut off by his tears, so he just wrapped his arms around them tighter. And they seemed to understand that. Eventually they sank down to the ground, sitting in what could be best described as a hug pile. When he could finally speak through his tears, he couldn’t think of anything to say other then, “Thank you.” It wasn’t shaky or broken like he thought it would be. They both gave him a loose smile.  

“Of course,” Preston said, still quiet. “We’re here for you,” Nerris told him, removing her arms from the mess that their hug pile was. Preston gave him an extra quick squeeze, before doing the same. They sat there for a little bit before Preston spoke again, his voice having regained its theatrical edge, although it was still quiet. “Do you want to talk about it? Gwen’s been trying to help me talk about things more, and it helps. I think it helps anyway. I’m not very good at it.” Nerris gave Preston a much more readable look, one of “not right now”. He’d seen it before. But it took him surprisingly little time to respond.  

“Yeah. I haven’t exactly been attending Gwen’s therapy sessions. For a number of reasons.” He hadn’t noticed until this point, but he was barely crying anymore. Nerris gave him a small nod, clearly listening. “I….. I mean, you saw what I did back there. I can’t really control it that well…….. especially when I’m emotional. Which is most of the time when I don’t sleep.” The looks of sympathetic understanding on their faces gave him a little more confidence. “And you were there at the Parent’s day show. You saw my parents, right?” Preston nodded, as Nerris’ shoulders slumped and she rubbed her arm. He’d been too open. Shit. He shrunk in on himself, something that they immediately noticed.  

“Hey…. It’s not your fault they’re like that. We should have noticed sooner.” Nerris was trying her best to make him feel better, he knew that, but her wording just hurt more. At this point he didn’t have the energy to cry anymore, so he settled for curling in on himself more. The two got closer, Nerris draping her cape over him and Preston rubbing his back before speaking. “Gwen says if it hurts too much, you don’t have to talk about it.” Harrison sighed. “I…. I do want to talk about it. But I haven’t before, and it………. definitely hurts. And it really is my fault.”  

Nerris seemed lost in thought for a little bit, before speaking. “Well, considering you’re talking to the elf who plays Dnd with her stuffed animals, I don’t think you have to worry about us judging you?” Her tone was oddly reassuring. Preston joined in. “Exactly! I put on plays that everyone hates all the time! How are we going to judge you?” His shoulders sunk at that. “Exactly. I’m a terrible friend. I tease you about your larping all the time, and I didn’t even try to support any of your plays." Nerris sighed. "Well, yeah, it used to hurt, but everyone did it, and either way, you haven’t really been doing it recently. And we’re still friends. And….. I’m sorry too. I did the same to Preston.” Preston had looked more hurt after Harrison had finished speaking, but he perked up at Nerris’ apology. He didn’t say anything but the thankful smile was good enough for Nerris. And he decided to take it as enough too. He sighed.

“What happened was……….. bad. Very bad. If I could change the past, I would. I wish I could, honestly. I’m here to make things reappear because I made someone disappear.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. Any other time, and at the very least, this would have gone smoother. But right now, he didn’t think he had that option. “My brother.” He didn’t expect them to leave. They wouldn’t do that. He’d figured that out by now. But he wasn’t surprised when Nerris drew in a sharp breath, and Preston’s eyes flickered away.  He sighed, managing not to cry through a combination of already having cried so much and being too tired. They sat there, all of them thinking, for at the very least five minutes. It felt like longer. He could practically see the gears turning in their brains.

Eventually Nerris spoke. “That………. explains a…………… lot. Do you want to just…………………… leave it at that?” Her tone was worried, in more ways then one. He reluctantly nodded. He’d already told them more then he’d told basically anyone else besides his parents. Preston kept quiet. After this entire situation, Harrison wondered if he’d ever be quiet again. Then, another thought crossed his mind. “How are we getting back to camp? Aren’t we kind of lost out here?” Nerris let out a small chuckle at that. “Yeah, because Nikki doesn’t have your scent down flat from her time as your apprentice. We should just stay here. We’ll be fine.”  

He let out a small smile at that. They’d be fine. “We’ll be fine.” He repeated it to himself, looking up. Even though the trees were still thick, he could see that the sun was definitely properly up by now. He really was tired. He yawned, more for effect then anything else, and decided he might as well get as little sleep as he was getting on the ground. He must have been more tired than he thought, because as Nerris and Preston did the same next to him, he didn’t even try protesting.  

A few hours later, Nikki lead the rest of the camp to a sleeping trio. If they had been awake, they would have heard the multiple sighs of relief, and the few mutterings of “thank goodness” or “they’re safe”, few being quite literal. They would have seen the worried looks turn into feigned annoyance or apathy or just happiness. But as it stood, they would wake up together at about two, and go about their normal activities, glancing at each other every time they crossed paths. No one asked them about what had happened, and they were grateful for that. But Harrison just slept in his tent that night, and within a week, Preston had moved his bed and some of his stuff in the tent. And for some reason that no one else would get for a very long time, there weren’t any complaints.

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

[salamoonder]

alright so i was talking about this the other day in the groupchat and i cannot get over how good for each other caleb and beau are?? like there’s something...i don’t know there is something absolutely next level about empire siblings. like. okay. (under a cut bc this got so FUCKING long, what the fuck. also i talk about essek for a bit and how i think he will change their relationship.)

i’ve said it a million times but i think beau had the best possible reaction to caleb’s backstory reveal. she didn’t discount it; she didn’t treat it like nothing. she basically went “that’s fucked up, man, but you can and will do better” which i think is exactly what he needed to hear. caleb has this tendency to wallow in guilt and when you wallow in guilt it’s very easy to fall into a trap of inaction or only wanting to focus on things that will make that guilt quiet down (i.e., working on the very dangerous and perhaps impossible task of going back in time to save his parents. it’s kind of like people who are intent on doing relief work in far off countries where “real” poverty exists but who don’t wanna help the homeless people living in their own city.) beau pushes him to take his focus off the guilt quieting plans and put his focus on things that will actually be doing good for the sake of doing good. i think that’s sometimes a very difficult distinction to make and tbh beau has a very good grasp on it.

i also think this plays into part of the reason caleb still hasn’t told jester (or cad?) like okay number one, he’s scared. number two, i literally don’t think he can handle the easy forgiveness he would get from them (especially jester) and i think it would send him into a spiral of “no you don’t get it i did a bad bad thing i’m a terrible person” that might be hard to pull out of. and beau is extremely critical in general. she sees a thing she doesn’t like, you don’t have to wonder about it. “well that’s fucked up” are going to be the first words out of her mouth. caleb doesn’t have to worry about her misunderstanding the heaviness of what he’s done the way i suspect he does with the others. beau is never going to diminish how bad he feels about doing a thing; all she’s going to do is say “okay, and what are you gonna do about it?” which is THE BEST. THING. action is the best thing for depressed people oh my god. anyway.

honestly like. ok my favorite thing about beau is that despite the social awkwardness/prickliness she is genuinely *really good at people*. she understands people. i literally still cannot get over how good she is at handling caleb’s panic attacks. i think a lot of people’s first instinct w handling panic attacks is to smother, or, worse, to get just as worked up as the person panicking trying to calm them down. beau is very detached, calm, and levelheaded. she provides physical comfort/stimulus, water, and someone to talk to, and she waits. ( @thedarklordsnicklefritz pointed out recently that she’d be a very good nurse.)

now, caleb to beau: he so clearly, so obviously values her opinions and what she has to say. for all that he is “the smart one”--for all that the wheels in his head are constantly turning and for all that he has a plan for everything--he sits quietly and listens to her whenever she has something to say. he asks her about herself. he wants to know her plans and her goals. not only does he treat her like an adult with agency and ambition and ideas worth hearing, he treats her as a colleage. as a fellow scholar. and i think that beau was sorely lacking that kind of respect, especially under zeenoth. i think it’s something that she craves. even when they are at each other’s throats, he doesn’t interrupt her arguments. he listens till she’s done, and then he speaks. even if he’s growling at her through clenched teeth. he still gives her that respect.

another thing about caleb is that he mirrors the kind of love that beau shows him right back at her. leaving molly’s grave? the shit in kamordah? hand on her shoulder. here is frumpkin. here is frumpkin again. and again. and again--here is some quiet show of support, some small comfort. nothing to embarrass her or cause undue awkwardness. just, there, always. they are each other’s constants and i will literally never be over this oh my god--

okay another thing is, and this is going to be a bit touchy and i might word wrong so please be patient with me and ask questions if you have them, there is something to be said about the friendship of two people who are fundamentally romantically and sexually incompatible. like there’s a reason why “gay best friend” is a trope and there is some not great stuff surrounding it. but i also think that there is a kind of value in a friendship where you never have to worry about romantic or sexual shit coming up. there’s a certain security there, a kind of...safety. there is a safety in "i have no interest in your sex life." there is a safety in beau being a lesbian. both of them have some real baggage/struggles surrounding relationships, and this is not to say that they will never have a meaningful or secure or safe romantic/sexual relationship again. it’s just that there are unique problems that both of those will bring to them--unique problems that i think may bring them each a unique beauty and growth in working through--but nevertheless, unique problems that neither of them have to worry about with each other. their friendship is safe from that.

alright, now onto essek: i am really worried/intrigued for what he will mean for their friendship when they get back to xhorhas and have to deal with him. i think they both see him very differently, and i can’t see them getting through...*waves hand* “punishment” and whatever that means, without another blowup fight and serious hurt feelings.

i think caleb quite clearly sees himself in essek; i don’t think i need to lay that comparison out for anyone, honestly the whole 97 speech sums it up pretty well. what i would like to say is i think caleb has found hope in essek, for essek, in a way that i don’t quite think he’s managed to do for himself yet. like he’s gotten a lot better, but i think a symptom of getting better is that you see your flaws more clearly, and i think that’s very much happening to him right now. i think he sees himself as the same (or possibly even worse), regardless of how far he’s come. (see “i am ruined” to fjord.) i think essek is a mirror for him in which he sees himself more clearly without even realizing that that’s what he’s doing. he sees a selfish person who has done selfish things and hurt people in the process. and he also sees someone with a conscience and empathy who is extremely capable of doing real good. he sees someone with potential. someone with kindness in his soul. someone who could take his guilt and turn it into action, maybe to soothe some of that guilt the way caleb started, and maybe to eventually leave that behind, and do good for the sake of doing good. he sees someone in pain who is in need of support and a friend like beau to nudge him in the right direction.

and beau sees someone who has done selfish things for selfish reasons and does not show nearly enough remorse for it. she sees someone who has caused death and pain out of carelessness and pride and misplaced judgement. she sees someone who values his own gains over the lives of others and justifies that to make himself feel better, and i think that’s exactly the kind of authority figure that beau hates most. she sees someone who better fucking prove that this remorse is real or so help me god i’ll show you what remorse is.

and i think caleb (unfortunately like so much of this fandom with various characters) has latched onto essek as this mirror of himself, and i think at this point any judgement that beau passes on essek will reflect unfortunately on caleb. and the worst part is, beau isn’t going to see that. she wasn’t there for the razor speech. i think to her it’s obvious what she thinks of caleb: he’s a person who’s done some fucked up shit, sure, but he is someone who cares deeply about getting better and has proven himself to be a kind, unwavering person over and over again. he’s more than alright in her book. whereas essek hasn’t really done anything to win him anywhere near the same kind of rapport with her. clearly, in her mind, they are different. why should they be otherwise?

but caleb is going to hear any criticism and, i think, just apply it straight on to himself. i think he thinks that he and essek are so similar that any cut towards essek is a cut towards him. i think he is going to be deeply hurt, i think it’s going to feel like a betrayal--like a revocation of the trust that beau has in him--and i think beau is going to have no idea.

[mst3kproject]

The Giant of Marathon

For some reason, probably because I've seen them all so many times, I thought I'd already done all four Film Crew episodes.  Evidently this is not true.  Here's one, and if you haven't seen it... wow, Mr. Honcho was not exaggerating about the thousands of sweaty men.

Philippides of Athens is the greatest athlete there is, having won the entire Olympics. With the games over, he returns to his day job as commander of the Athenian city guard.  Followers of Hippias the exiled tyrant are plotting to take control of the city with help from the invading Persians, and they try to seduce Philippides to their cause by offering him wine, women, and homoerotic wrestling (it was ancient Greece, after all).  Philippides refuses to be seduced, and sets off to secure the help of Athens' old enemy Sparta in opposing the Persians.  His mission is a success, but upon his return a spy tells him that the Persians are planning a sneak attack on the harbour of Piraeus.  Can even Philippides get there in time to deliver the warning?

I don't actually know if it were possible to win the entire Olympics in ancient Greece.  I know there were several events and at least one of them involved reciting poetry.  The Battle of Marathon was in 490 BC and a table on Wikipedia suggests that there could have been up to twelve different sports, but some of them were only for children.

The Giant of Marathon touts itself as a tale of epic battles, daring deeds, and political machinations.  I'll get back to the epic battles and daring deeds, but what stands in for the political machinations is mostly a bunch of people pining.  Unimpressive villain Theocritus is pining for the beautiful Andromeda, whose father has promised her to him but she thinks he's a dick.  She's pining for Philippides, who is also pining for her but thinks she's one of Hippias' followers, so refuses to speak to her.  Meanwhile Theocritus' concubine Charis is also pining for Philippides because he's the only man who ever refused to fuck her, I think.

These relationships are important to the plot, too.  Andromeda's love for Philippides is one of the reasons her father refuses to join the traitors, and when Theocritus realizes he cannot have her, he ties her to the prow of his ship to force Philippides to watch her die.  Charis' crush on Philippides leads her to her death, as she is executed for spying.  Yet none of it is ever developed beyond 'these two pretty people saw each other and now they want to bone'.  Philippides declares his love for Andromeda after a single five-minute interaction.  Charis has seen Philippides twice, and both times it went badly, when she decides to betray Theocritus.

Why do the writers hang such important plot points on the 'love' between people who have barely spoken to each other?  I can't decide if it's because they're lazy, or because they're hacks, and I lean towards a combination of the two.  There is absolutely no subtlety to the writing in The Giant of Marathon at all.  Everything is told, not shown.  We know that Theocritus and Creusus are traitors because they talk about it, in dialogue that's clearly written for the audience, not as anything that sounds like a natural conversation. We know that Charis and Andromeda are both in love with Philippides because they say so.  The only thing we're really shown is that Andromeda hates Theocritus, which comes through in her body language (though we are also very much told), so props to actress Mylène Demongeot for that much.

The movie doesn't care about any of this character stuff, anyway.  It just wants to get straight to those epic battle scenes, and it's very obvious how much work and time went into those as opposed to everything else.  The battles are lengthy and elaborate, full of impressive stunts and props and miniatures being destroyed all over the place.  We get to see Persian chariots run down Greek infantry, and while I'm pretty sure this would have been orchestrated so the stuntmen didn't get hurt, I'm not nearly so confident about the unfortunate horses (and neither was Bill).  There are ships in flames and injured men screaming as they fall overboard.  There are even some pretty good deaths, like the guy who was hit in the eye with an arrow.  The desperate last stand of the city guard against the entire Persian fleet, with the Spartans arriving just in time to save the day, is very tense indeed.

I get the impression that this is what somebody really wanted to put on screen, and they did a decent job of it, but pretty much the entire rest of what ought to be the story is just an accessory to the fighting stuff.  It's as if the film-makers wanted so badly for their fight sequences to be epic that they forgot what makes epic-ness – which is the characters and their stake in the events. We don't know any of these people, none of them have anything we might call a personality trait, and so we don't care.

The focus on how epic it all is makes I seem a little strange that the battle ends on a shot of dead Persian guys floating in the water. You'd think they'd want to end with something that more decisively shows the Athenian victory, maybe the men cheering as the Persian ships turn around and flee.  Or perhaps some kind of victory celebration, which could mirror the celebration of Philippides winning the Olympics in the opening and call back to the scene where Philippides asks the goddess Athena to protect her city.

Instead, we cut to a shot of Philippides and Andromeda walking across the farmland together.  This feels a little too sudden, and is also a poor fit with the rest of the movie.  The only time we've seen Philippides on his farm is when he's gotten disgusted with the politics of Athens and returned to the countryside to sulk.  If the farm is supposed to be a place where he's happy and at peace, the movie never establishes it.

So that's political machinations and epic battle sequences, let's talk about some daring deeds.

Unlike the Hercules and Maciste movies we've seen in the past, The Giant of Marathon wants to be grounded in real-life history.  This means that while the script does reference gods and mythical heroes, none of them ever appear and there is no hint of them working behind the scenes to bring events about.  Likewise, Philippides is not a demigod, so we avoid several of the tropes associated with the genre.  Nothing important ever happens (or fails to happen) because the hero was asleep, and he never bends prison bars or drinks a love potion – although a love potion is mentioned, as if to draw attention to this.

This doesn't leave Philippides a whole lot of scope for daring deeds, and when they try the results are a little lackluster.  His main feat is, of course, running all the way from Marathon to Athens (the proverbial forty-two kilometres) to let them know of the impending attack, but while this ought to be the highlight of the movie it's shot in terrible day-for-night and we have nothing to suggest how far this is... I think the writers just assumed everybody knows the length of a marathon.  If we'd seen the army tired from making the march earlier, we would have a better sense of it being a long and tiring journey even at a walk or with horses, and it would seem that much more formidable as a distance for one man to cover before sunrise.  Of course, showing us these things is apparently beyond the scope of The Giant of Marathon's writers, but you'd think they could at least have a character say something like, “it's twenty-six miles!  He'll never make it!”

His other major daring deed is when he pushes giant boulders down a hill onto the attacking Persians.  This is kind of weird because Philippides is not Hercules or Maciste.  He's good at track and field, but we haven't seen any evidence of him having godlike strength, and this is a universe where gods don't seem to do much anyway, so it comes out of nowhere.  The rocks are huge – there are similarly-sized ones at the park near my house and I know one guy couldn't move them no matter how buff he might be.  Did somebody just forget that they weren't making a Hercules movie?

Between the battles and the various plot twists, The Giant of Marathon could have been a pretty fun sword-and-sandal movie, but it's like a tower without a foundation.  The fights have nothing to hold them up, so we just can't get into it. Also, what the Underworld happened to Hippias? We see him once, chatting with the king of Persia, and then he vanishes and the movie decides weaselly little Theocritus is the big bad instead. I'm sorry, but if you've got a character with a name as cool as 'Hippias the Tyrant', you really can't just drop him like that.

The Best Brains liked to complain about the tinyness of the costumes in these movies but honestly, nothing here is as off-putting as actual ancient Greek sports would have been to the modern viewer.  When I was in university I TA'd for a course called Introduction to Greco-Roman Civilization. It was an adventure in several ways – the students were mostly dumb freshmen who spent the lectures playing Farmville, and the professor didn't give a shit because she'd just been denied tenure.  I don't know how much anybody learned in that class, but I'm sure they all recall how, after the professor told us that Greek athletes stripped naked and covered themselves in olive oil before wrestling, somebody raised a hand and asked if they removed their body hair.  The professor cheerfully told him that they did not, so next time we see a Greek vase we ought to remember that these guys were much sweatier, oilier, and hairier than terra cotta can possibly convey.

[meltwonu]

| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ old habits die hard ✦

this chapter pairing; vampire!jun x reader

genre&warnings; vampire!jun, softdom!jun, blindfolds, spanking, fingering, marking, soft aftercare bc vampire jun is kind and caring!!!!

notes; vampire!jun strikes me as someone who’d be playful yet super caring and makes sure you’re comfortable before anything else 😩😩...also i’ve noticed that i’ve unintentionally made each chapter, like, alternate time periods so far kfhksdh that was not part of the plan and it’s not gonna follow that pattern but omg kfjhdkjfh😭😭 i’ve written almost half of monster mash and didn’t even notice til now lmaooooo 🤣 as always, thank you for all of the love and interest! see you all tomorrow~! 💕👻 🎃 

word count; ~3000

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

ooh, and the sugar turned bitter

ooh, and the summer turned to winter

but i still want your love;

ooh, they can tell me i’m a sinner

ooh, but they can’t call me a quitter

i won’t give you up;

old habits die hard!

You find yourself trapezing through the dense forest; racing the sun that disappears behind the horizon.

Jun just had to pick such a difficult place to find.

Not that you could blame him.

Most of the townspeople shunned you too; once they found out you were hanging around Jun and his kind. ‘It’s shameful’, they said, ‘He’s just using you.’

Their nosy stares and whispered rumours were growing to be too much, even for you.

Jun would never treat you that way. You were sure of it.

A twig snaps somewhere close to you and you realize the sun’s going down much quicker than you anticipate; hurrying through the tangled vines and dense bushes. In truth, you weren’t necessarily sure if you were heading the right way at all and you’d already restarted your route after three other failed attempts.

The panic floods your body when the twig snapping get closer and you realize you hadn’t brought anything to defend yourself with.

“Is--Is someone there?” You ask, voice shaky and barely above a whisper.

You’re met with silence, almost eerily so, as the forest seems to go absolutely quiet. “Hello?”

A chill runs up your spine as you’re suddenly reminded that the forest was home to more than just vampires, but other magical creatures who called the forest their home. And here you were, a measly human with no weapons or means of protecting yourself.

Maybe this hadn’t been the brightest of ideas now that the sun was almost completely down.

“Boo.”

You let out an ear piercing scream as you already start to bolt; not caring where your feet took you. “Hey! Damn it, don’t run!” Jun grabs your arm before you can get any further, tugging you towards himself as he sighs. “It’s just me!”

“Why on earth are you scaring me!? In a forest no less!?” The blood rushes to your face which makes Jun laugh, eyes rolling when he licks his lips. Of course.

“No reason. You know, I was watching you since the second time you restarted your route.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

The male shrugs, “Wanted to see how determined you were to find me.”

Jun walks with you, hand in hand, through the large overhanging trees. “We’re almost there. And by the way, why were you even out here looking for me? It’s late and you could’ve gotten hurt.”

Your lips press into a tight lipped smile, eyes focused on the small clearing that was up ahead. “I…” You hesitate; you didn’t know what you were doing either, you just knew you had to see Jun.

“Let me take a wild guess, the townspeople were staring again, weren’t they? Whispering about how ‘mingling with the creatures is unbecoming of you.’ right?” You exhale softly, wrapping your arms around Jun’s as you lean into him. “Something like that, yes.”

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as he guides you through the forest and into the clearing; an old brick mansion coming into view as you step further out.

“Wow… Is this where you’ve been… hiding out?”

Jun chuckles, peering down at you. “Something like that. It’s not much and it hasn’t been kept up for human... inhabitants. There’s enough space for a garden though, perhaps to grow some vegetables?” He clears his throat, hoping you catch what he’s trying to say. “But I think with time and a little effort, we can… figure out how to fix it up for, well, us.”

You grip tightens up on his arm, head tilting up to meet his stare. “Jun… are you sure?”

His dark red pools are soft and gentle, even in the moonlight.

“I mean, you risked your safety to come find me about four times. And if I’m being honest, I quite missed you too. It’s lonely out here and a little too dilapidated for my liking.”

When Jun gets you into the mansion, it’s a quick and fleeting tour around the deteriorating grounds before he turns to you, eyes twinkling as he tugs you up the stairs.

“It’s the only room that’s… intact. I’ve been using it as my personal bedroom.”

He opens the door and pulls you in, letting it slam shut behind you as he tugs you into his chest. “There’s a bed and… well, that’s all we really need, right, sweetheart?”

The two of you share a laugh just as Jun tilts your head up towards him. He leans in close, lips ghosting across your own and you feel your eyes flutter shut as you wait for Jun to kiss you.

It never comes.

Jun’s laugh is breathy and warm against your face and you shyly open your eyes to find his own crimson ones looking at you teasingly.

“But you know, sweetheart, I do have to punish you.”

“W--what? Why, but I didn’t--” Confusion crosses your features as he pulls away; blood going cold when he steps closer to the bed. He takes a seat on the edge, hands neatly folded in his lap.

“Oh, I know, your pretty little head is so confused, huh? But do you remember what I told you before? At the lake, after we’d met for the third time. It was the only rule I ever gave you.”

‘Do not ever trespass into the forest without my permission or my knowledge.’

Oh.

“But--but---”

“Ah, ah, no buts. Now come over here, baby. Over my lap.” The blood rushes to your face again as you curl your fingers into your dress, nodding shakily as you step closer to Jun. You quietly slip your shoes off as he scoots further onto the bed. Nervously, you situate yourself over his lap; ass in the air as you brace yourself on your hands and knees.

“Just a few, okay? I promise I won’t be too harsh on you, sweetheart.”

“O-okay…”

He lifts your dress, letting it bunch up around your waist. His cold hands ghost across your exposed skin as you tremble; already biting your lip at the moan that threatens to spill from you.

Jun can already sense the way you already seem to get aroused just by being propped over him. “Hmm, what is that pretty head of yours thinking, huh? I can smell you getting wet already.” You groan in response, balling your hands into the sheets underneath you.

“Nothing, just… anxious.” He hums in response, bringing his hand down onto you ass as you yelp.

“Guess I should keep you on your toes then, shouldn’t I?”

He soothes the skin; wide palm massaging the red mark blooming onto you. The slight sting bleeds into pleasure as you whine quietly, hoping that Jun doesn’t notice the blood that rushes to your cheeks and the arousal that pools in your lower half.

It’s quiet for beat before Jun brings his hand down onto your skin again, this time a little harder as you mewl his name.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t much of a punishment if you like it, you know.” Jun quips.

“I--s-sorry…”

He brings his hand down onto your ass one last time; eyebrow quirked when you start to rub your thighs together. 

“We’ll just have to try something else, okay?”

You’re thankful that Jun knows you like the back of his hand when he doesn’t tie your arms to the bedposts.

He’d tried it once before; deciding it wasn’t for you or for him when he saw the fabric burns on your wrists from how hard you’d been tugging on your restraints.

But you do whimper when he ties the silk around your head, effectively cutting off your vision before he positions himself between your legs.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?”

“Mm… Mmhmm…”

He eyes the wet patch of fabric on your panties, fingertips already pressing into it, a second later. “O-oh!” Your thighs threaten to clamp shut; instead tightening around his waist as he teases you through the fabric.

“It must feel even better now that you can’t see, huh?” Jun pinches your clit through your panties and you can’t help the choked sob that falls from your lips. “J--Jun…”

“Mm, I know, sweetheart.”

He takes pity, placing both of his hands on your panties before he tears the material right off of your body. “I need to prep you still, so be patient.” You nod in response, brows furrowing.

The idea that you couldn’t tell when he’d start touching you had your breath stopping momentarily. You part your lips to speak but you feel Jun’s cold fingertips gliding through your wet folds almost as if he knew what you were going to say. “Ah, Jun…” He gathers the wetness on his fingertips, bringing it up to your clit as he starts rubbing soft and slow circles on the nub.

“You know, it’s going to be a little difficult to get around town once they know you’re copulating with a vampire.” Jun comments teasingly as he positions a finger at your entrance. He sinks the digit in, thrusting it in and out when he feels how wet you are around his finger.

“I---I don’t c-care… They can, ah, s-say all they wa--want…” You retort. “Jus’ want y-you…”

Jun smirks at this, even if you can’t see it. “Should we give them something to look at then, sweetheart?”

He quickly adds another finger, somewhat impatient himself. You nod at his question, moaning out loud when he starts to scissor and curl his fingers into your tight warmth.

“Please, Jun, hurry! I’m so---”

“Shh, I know. Me too. Patience.”

He leans down, lips ghosting across your clavicle as you shiver. You feel his lips on you a second later, already sucking on the skin to leave blooming love bites all over. He keeps his fingers deep inside your pussy, adding his thumb to your clit as you cry out his name.

“Oh g-god, Jun, I---mmph!”

His lips are on yours, swallowing up your moans as you suddenly cum on his fingers; hips canting up as you try to meet the flicks of his wrists.

He groans against your mouth when he feels your walls fluttering around his fingers; salivating at the way your blood smells even sweeter now that you’d already had one orgasm.

Jun pulls away, grinning when he thinks about it.

How much sweeter could your blood get if you came just one more time?

Your stuttered breath brings him out of his thoughts, pulling his fingers from inside of you as you moan at the sudden emptiness. He gives you only a moment to catch your breath before he’s positioning the head of his cock at your entrance.

“J-Jun, ah, I’m---I’m still s-sensitive…”

He teases your hole with the head of his cock; noting the way you raise your hips and try to grind against him. “Oh? So you want me to stop then?”

You bite your lip, already imagining and craving the way his cock filled you up so perfectly. “No, I want you inside of me, now.” He laughs boisterously, shaking his head at the way you flip flop your feelings.

“You’re the queen of the house now, I suppose.”

He sinks his cock into you, a groan on his lips when he feels how wet you are around his cock. “Ngh, sweetheart… I don’t think I’m going to last very long…” He mutters; already starting a rhythmic pace when he feels your walls clamping down onto him.

“M-me too… But--but it’s okay… I wanna feel you.” You gulp, “And--and I wanna… feel you f-feed. It’s been a-a while, hasn’t it?” Your voice is soft and small to Jun’s ears and he feels his cock throbbing at the mere idea. It wasn’t that he’d never fed from you before, either; it was just that he tried to supplement his feeds from different sources so as to not wear you out.

It’d been a good long while since you’d offered yourself. Granted, part of that was because of his own decisions.

“Are you sure, sweetheart? I don’t have to if you’re not up for it.” He offers gently. Jun knew your limits as much as he craved you.

“N-no, I want you t-to… It kinda makes m-me feel, hah, g-good too…”

The blush eats away at your cheeks and you moan loudly once Jun angles his thrusts perfectly to tap your g-spot. “Oh, god, right t-there!”

Jun leans over you again, however this time he tugs at the loose knot on your blindfold; tossing the material off. “You’ve been so good for me, sweetheart. I think you deserve your vision back, hmm?” He kisses your cheek once before he pulls away.

His lips fall into a gentle smile; the complete opposite of the way his hips seem to piston into you quicker. “Jun, I’m---I’m so close…” Whispering, you let your eyes readjust to the soft moonlight filtering in through the windows. A sheen of sweat covers Jun’s skin, lips parted in shaky breaths when he feels himself getting close to cumming as well.

“Mmh, sweetheart, I’m g-going to feed, okay?” You nod feverishly in response, tilting your head to the side to give him space.

Jun leans in, lips on your skin as he sucks more love bites onto the column of your throat. Your eyes flutter shut by reflex, soft moans spilling from your lips at the feeling.

“Now they’ll really know you belong to me. And so will the other vampires and creatures that dare lurk anywhere near our part of the forest.” His words are slightly muffled against your skin; barely audible between your moans that grow louder and the sound of his hips snapping into you.

He feels your walls tightening around him, a tell tale sign that you were close to an orgasm.

“J-Jun!” You cry; tension snapping in your body at the same time that Jun draws his fangs out and sinks them into your neck.

There’s a rush of sensations going through your body as your toes curl behind his back and your mouth falls open in a silent scream. Your walls flutter around his cock and the subtle pain of his fangs digging into your skin as he feeds from you melds into pleasure when he cums too; cock throbbing inside your pussy as he cums inside of you.

His eyes roll back at the absolute pleasure that washes over him.

Jun was right, after all; your blood tasted even sweeter after two orgasms.

He draws his fangs back in a few moments later, tongue lapping at the wound until it seals over. You mewl in response as you ride out the remnants of your orgasm, soft breaths the only thing you can muster at the fuzziness that takes over your body. 

Jun’s hips grind against you as he peppers small kisses all over your throat and clavicle; adding more blooming marks to your skin as you whine.

“Ju--Jun ‘m really sen--sensitive now…” Mumbling, you try to fight off the sleep that threatens to take you; arms and legs feeling like dead weight.

“You did so well for me, baby. Thank you.” He slides his cock from your pussy, watching the way his cum spill to the sheets underneath you.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, hmm? And maybe find some new sheets somewhere around here, if we can.”

Jun draws you a warm bath; thankful that the grounds were abundant with fire wood and a working water pump.

He carries you to the bathroom wrapped in the soiled bed sheets -- a sheepish smile on his face when he lets you down onto your feet.

“I’m sorry, love. I can’t say I was expecting you today otherwise I would’ve prepared a little better.” You smile warmly in response, “Jun it’s okay, really, it’s not a big deal.”

He holds your hand as you step into the warm water, making sure you didn’t slip or fall. “I know, I just… I haven’t really had a chance to fix this place up, is all. Figured it’d just be me.”

Jun pulls up a small stool, sitting next to you outside of the tub as he gently starts massaging your tired shoulders. “Your neck is also quite pretty with my marks all over it now though, I will say.” He laughs teasingly, tilting your head towards himself until he can press a chaste kiss against your lips.

“Speaking of…” You mumble as you pull away slightly, “Regardless of what the townspeople say, I’m not too keen on going around with all these blotches on my neck, Jun! Your bite mark is the least of my concerns!”

He rolls his eyes, kissing you once more before he pulls away to grab the soap to wash your hair. “No worries, sweetheart. I know this might be hard to believe, but I’ve a friend a little ways away. Name’s Seokmin. He’s a warlock and quite the unsuspecting fellow. Must be his smile, although I’ll admit he’s quite charming in his own ways. I’ll have him go into town and get some things for us in the meantime. Maybe some seeds and herbs from his garden, as well.”

You quirk a brow at him, watching the way he collects bubbles on his hands before he brings them to your hair. “Since when were you so chummy with the enchanter types?”

Jun snorts; fingertips massaging your scalp as you moan and lean into his touch.

“Seokmin runs my errands around town and I play along with his little experiments. It’s all about balance out here, sweetheart. But don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

[marc-spectorr]

hiya callie!! this one is gonna be long, so prepare yourself >:]

thank you so much for all the music recs! i’m gonna listen to all of em after i send this ask, and i’m so excited to. :D my music taste is also very mixed, and it was hard for me to find fitting songs as well, but i’m sure yours fit wonderfully. i’ve been a glass animals fan for 5~ years now, n i couldn’t recommend their music enough. some good albums to start with are how to be a human being, my favorite, and dreamland! (that’s the one heat waves is from, all the songs have pretty similar vibes.)

sunnie!! i’m so glad my dog brightened your mood. <3 she just turned 4, so we baked her and her brother a cake! she didn’t like it too much, but her brother definitely did hehe. they’re… basically my children. n she loves you too. :]]]

but callie!! star wars is so good, i know you’ve probably gotten this a lot, but please watch it. i don’t blame you or judge you for not seeing any of em, in fact, i had only seen the sequels until two-ish years ago, when i watched all the films. but it’s such a great franchise, i’m rewatching the sequels now, deeeeefinitely not just for poe dameron. (though i do admit the thought of a poe fic from you has me excited-)

i think my favorite piece of star wars media is the mandalorian though. it’s a disney plus show, starring oscar’s space sister, pedro pascal. :] i won’t spoil anything, but i love it because it shows how it is to live as a normal person, and not a jedi, in the star wars universe. and speaking of disney plus shows, the new obi-wan show is great as well, but it’s a bit hard to understand what’s going on with no prior knowledge teehee. you can probably look up a timeline for yourself, to prevent confusion.

but enough about star wars! i took your advice to heart, n guess what? i started writing a moon knight fic! due to the anonymous nature of… well… all of this, it will probably be hard to tell which fic is the one i wrote. but! it will be a sfw fic abt marc and jake, angsty because i am angsty. if you ever do read it i hope you enjoy it, and thank you so much for inspiring me to write again. it’s been a while, but my beta reader seems very happy with it so far. <333

that’s about all i have to say. to be honest, writing these asks like little letters have been the highlight of my day recently. i hope today treated you well, callie. :]

- <3

hi amor 💕 sorry for taking almost a day to answer :((

omg that’s like me with imagine dragons! i’ve been listening to them for maybe eight years now?? all of their songs are fantastic and i would definitely recommend them to everyone. ugh i love that band sooo much but i haven’t seen them live yet which is so weird of me not to. idek why i haven’t gone to a concert literally nothings stopping me LOL

arghdjdj y’all got me super convinced to watch this franchise huh 😭 i literally have to plan this all out bc there are a lot of other oscar movies i wanna see on top of star wars haha! hopefully i’ll be able to watch two films a week or something. but be prepared for the non-stop gushing that will follow on this blog :))

awwwe amor, i’m so happy that you’re writing a moon knight fic 🥺💗 it really made me smile learning about this! i hope that i come across your fic once it’s out, but i’m pretty sure it’s going to be amazing! best of luck sweetie and if you need any help, i’m always here!

and yes!! honestly the reason why i take a while to answer my emoji anons is because i’m usually at work and when i reply to you darlings, i want to take my time to type out a thoughtful response (even if it usually turns out being a rambling mess at the end lmaoao). but every day i look forward to sitting down at home and reading all about how you guys are all doing :)

hope the week has been treating you kindly, amor! stay hydrated and lovely as always 💖