#also I’m at my brothers school for the last time ever :/
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qurbanjaan · 1 day ago
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I met an Afghan-Pakistani family last night here in Germany, they come from a culture where the women aren’t allowed to even leave the houses. Ever. Her husband got her a visa and out of the country by secret pretending they were going to Iran. She’s been here for a year and can’t speak anything other than Pashto, she also can’t seem to get out of the house by herself even though her husband tells her to. This is the first time her daughter’s been to proper daily school. I can’t stop crying, I just feel so terrible when I see her and then I think of your situation and then my other Pakistani friend who isn’t allowed to go to the school she wants to go to because it’s in another (Muslim) country whereas her brother got to go where he pleased and even shittalked the women who were in his university. I want to ignore this shit life and enjoy living in a good country but it’s all around me. It’s not even just a certain race but it’s all of them, no one ever sees a problem with it and my heart keeps aching. This cannot be normal, we can’t keep letting this happen. It’s not fair, it’s not fair.
I go through a similar situation as the first woman you mentioned. I’m free and he incentivizes me to go out and do what I want, but I’m scared to leave the house and behave how I want because I grew up so strictly that I feel like everything will be over for me if I anger someone or cross him at the wrong day. See, he is good to me, we are both apostates, even! We don’t even follow anything islam preaches but I just can’t help this fear, when we go through so many restrictions we start fading away and it’s hard to recover autonomy.
See, how can a brother think so lowly of someone that shared a womb with him? How cruel can you be to see someone that’s pursuing education as evil and help to restrict his own sister? It’s impossible to have faith, impossible! We grow up blindly at home, deliver kids and then if we die, the next day they will be married again to another poor child! How can we keep our faith this way?
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scarletwitch1918 · 1 year ago
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Today was the second birthday this year of a friend that I thought I was really close with that i didn’t get invited to
#birthday#fake friends#friend group#I’ve literally counseled this girl through half her shit this year and then she doesn’t even invite me to her birthday that she invited#people she barely talks to too and then after that she turns around and hangs out with my fucking brother of all people#I can’t wait for a new school next year so I can finally get away from the people who stopped appreciating me a long time ago#I know it sounds kinda selfish but I truly have not done anything (in the last 4 years) to ever hurt or fully disregard them and I really#don’t know what happened#one week we were waking to and from school together everyday and now I feel like I’ve been rejected from our walking group and I’m literally#uncomfortable walking with them in the mornings because they just fully ignore me the entire time#this isn’t even about just the one friend anymore#this is also happening with someone else who was supposed to be my best friend and now she barely talks to me anymore#and like I can accept that we’re not bffs anymore cause it happened a year or two ago so I’ve moved passed it#but she just pretends I don’t exist anymore#we have like three classes together and on snap she got an send it that’s said like tag your fav people on each class#and when I tell you i was in the room with her when she posted I and she didn’t even mention me#istfg#im gonna stop now because this is getting extremely ranty but I can’t really talk to anyone about this irl so this is just my vent space now
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago
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Day whatever it is recap!
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#📸#I think it’s day five maybe#also I’m at my brothers school for the last time ever :/#probs the last time I’ll ever step into a college dorm again tbh#and I got one last shower in the dorm bathroom which is always good bc if I’m seeing my brother chances are I’ve at very least spent three#hours in a car to get to him#so a shower is nice especially bc I was like panic attack sweaty. tmi? maybe.#I didn’t really do a lot today#at least not postable stuff#a lot of hanging out with family and Millie and being tired and kind of miserable but also daydreaming about any other shit in my life#idk. it all feels weird rn. all of it. and my brain is nagging me saying you’re being/doing x y z for attention even when I’m not telling#anyone shit im doing or thinking or anything and my brain is still like nah. you’re jealous of your brother graduating and not being home#at the end of dads life and at the same time you feel stressed and guilty and feel bad about him not getting closure#but at the same time you just wish you didn’t see his fucking body on the ventilator and all the IVs and the bloat and the popped blood#vessels and the nurses and doctors and knowing they did cpr so much if he even survived he would be miserable and have broken ribs#fuck. I want to be home and alone and crying about this all by myself alone. I hate this I hate this I hate this I want to go smoke a cig#but this is a no smoking campus ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I am miserable and this is supposed to be this big fun#thing for my brother and I feel selfish and stupid for having feelings and letting myself get upset about my dad but my fucking mother#made some sign to put in an empty chair for my dad and she brought his jacket he wore all the time and I started crying when I saw and then#immediately after we had to go see his parents and my grandfather is falling apart and reminds me of my dad in the hospital and I’m just so#miserable and between horrible thoughts and self harm and everything I’m keeping to myself I am just thinking about how this is so bitter#sweet for my brother like he’s graduating with his friends and then moving away from them all to a place where it’s just all about dad being#dead and he doesn’t like Florida really and he’s gotta start his grown up life (technically he has two more classes online and he’s getting#a blank diploma tomorrow but yeah. things are rough and my body hurts and stress is so bad for me and my chronic pain and I feel like I went#from the most relaxed and comfortable and happy I’ve been in a year to feeling like hell on earth and I feel like I’m bringing down every#one else’s mood but like hello why are we pretending any of this normal thid can’t be real this can’t be real this can’t be real I don’t#want this to be reak I want it to be fake it has to be fake please please please wake up tomorrow and have it be a year ago please#I miss my father and I hate myself and violent thoughts are taking over my mind and I hate it all but things were so good literally up until#I saw my mom and grandparents#my brother was so nice when it was just us too (and later I just mean before mom got here specifically he was still nice to me)
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killerprotector · 2 years ago
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Okay but why do moms just absolutely HATE their oldest daughter????
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gothicgaycowboy · 4 months ago
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❤︎ Jacaerys Targaryen NSFW alphabet ❤︎
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My modern Jace’s parents are Rhaenyra and Alicent hence why I’m using the last name Targaryen instead of Velaryon <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
King of aftercare. Nobody else does it like this man when it comes to aftercare and he doesn’t even do it consciously. It’s just his instinct to take care of you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He’s not very into idolizing his own body but he likes his shoulders the most. He learned to appreciate them more when you started complimenting them.
Jace is a thigh man. He loves grabbing at them while he fucks you or feeling them squeeze around his head when he’s eating you out. Natures pillows as he calls them.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically)
His favourite place to cum is on your face. It’s probably the most shocking thing about Jace considering he’s the biggest gentleman out of all his brothers, but he just can’t help it. The image of your pretty face coved in his load will never not drive him insane.
D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
He doesn’t really have any crazy secrets, but he really wants to record the two of you fucking. He thinks about it more than it’s probably reasonable for a person to think about it. Setting up his phone to take in the sights and sounds of you getting fucked by him.
Jace knows it’s incredibly stupid and risky with the profile of his family’s name — neither of you have even sent nudes to each other for that reason. It’s just the idea of the two of you having a sextape for your eyes only is very hot to him.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He went through a phase of sleeping around in high school like his brother (Aegon of course) until he realized it wasn’t for him. He didn’t feel right using girls like that, he’s a romantic to the core.
The only good thing that came out of his little experimentation was building up quite the resume of experience. You’re grateful for his little hoe phase as you called it.
F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying, may include a visual)
Jace is a firm believer in the superiority of missionary. He gets to control the pace and look directly at you the whole time. If he’s feeling wild he’ll hike your knees over his shoulders.
He also loves being able to whisper dirty things in your ear while fucks you.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous?)
He is generally a lighthearted guy at all times so the bedroom wouldn’t be that different. He would never take himself too seriously but he’d also never ruin a perfectly romantic moment by acting like an absolute loon.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes?)
When it comes to shaving he prefers comfort over aesthetic. He’ll trim when necessary but you are never getting that man shaven bare. He’d want you to do the same in terms of shaving for your enjoyment, not his.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Jace is a good old fashioned lover boy. He believes in romance out and inside of the bedroom. Some people have called him corny but he takes it as a compliment.
But just because it’s romantic doesn’t mean it’s boring and repetitive. This man puts all he has into his lovemaking. Honestly he thinks it’s what he was put here to do with his life.
J = Jack Off (how often do they do it? how do they feel about it?)
Probably about once or twice a week. He would never use porn though, for one he knew all that shit was fake, and it just felt wrong especially when he had you. He likes to use his imagination when he does it, picturing you sprawled out underneath him, bouncing with every thrust he gives you, eyes rolling into the back of your head.
In his mind that’s better than any porn ever made, because it’s just for him. Although he does still want to have a real video of you at some point in the future.
K = Kink (what are they into?)
He’s pretty basic when it comes to kinks. Dirty talk will always get him going — the sound of your voice in general actually. He’s convinced he could cum from the sound of you reading him a grocery list. He also really likes watching you masturbate. Seeing the way your body moves in response to your own hands and toys is priceless to him.
L = Location (favourite places to have sex)
He’s a bed guy all day and all night. Nothing beats the comfort of his sheets, but he’s open to trying out wherever you want to.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?)
Kissing will always led to something more with Jace. Innocent peck on the cheek? It’s moving to the mouth. On the lips? You’re gonna feel some tongue sneaking its way through.
If you kiss him on the neck you are asking for it. His neck might honestly be more sensitive than his cock.
N = Nope (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Absolutely nothing that hurts you. The only way he can stay turned on is to know he’s causing you pleasure, not pain.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
If he had to choose between never eating pussy or never getting his cock sucked he will happily choose never getting head again.
Jace was built to eat pussy. It’s his idea of heaven. He will spend hours doing it without even breaking a sweat. There have been many times where you had force his moth off you because he ‘wasn’t done yet’. Your pussy is literally a drug to him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
Jace is all about taking his time with you so it’s slow and sensual all the way.
Sex with him always starts with you getting eaten out (and we all know he’s enjoying every minute of that) so after he’s had his fill of you that’s when he gives you what you’ve been waiting for. Hips rocking smoothly into you as he tells you how gorgeous and perfect you are.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often?)
He would prefer not to, but if you or him are feeling desperate then he’s not too prideful to get down on his knees for you real quick.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)
He’s pretty vanilla when it comes to experimenting but he will do almost anything to make you happy.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last?)
A two to three rounds type of guy for actual penetration, but if we’re talking eating pussy? Days on end with no breaks.
T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He was open to trying them when you asked him but the idea has never crossed his mind on his own. He never thought of them as a necessity. The first time he watched you use a vibrator on yourself changed his mind instantly. Anything that gives you pleasure gives him twice as much.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease?)
Only so he can make your high last longer. He will rub your clit for hours before he lets you cum just so he can watch you squirm.
V = Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make?)
He’s more of a whines and moans type of guy than a grunter. He also loves praising you.
W = Wild Card (a random headcanon)
He’s never tried eating ass but he secretly wants to. When he’s down there, nose rubbing circles against your clit, while his tongue licks its way into your wet hole, he’s been tempted to travel a little lower. To spread your cheeks and run his tongue against your ass while his fingers spread your cunt open is his fantasy.
The only thing stopping him is he’s afraid you’ll think he’s gross.
X = X-Ray (what’s goin’ on under those clothes?)
Hung like a true horse. Other than just being a people pleaser to his core, the whole reason he got so into eating pussy was because he knew in order to take some of that initial pain away he needed to prep you first.
He never wants to hurt you but it’s just inevitable sometimes with the absolute size of him. BDE comes with a price.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive? how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He wants to live between your legs. Jace has ‘joked’ many times that the ideal day off for him would be having you sit on his face until he suffocates. He’d be more than thrilled to go out that way.
Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
You run him ragged. Even if you fuck during the day it is required both of you have a power nap immediately after.
I wrote way too many of these alphabets back to back so sorry if the wording in a them is a little repetitive, hope you enjoyed ♡
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chewingcyanide · 9 months ago
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𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣. 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬
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₊⊹ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 — secretly pining over someone is never fun—even less so when they’re your childhood best friend, and dating someone else.
₊⊹ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 —all the angst, jealousy, thoughts of inferiority, cursing, big sadness from reader over here, not proofread i got better things to do
₊⊹ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — jack hughes x fem!reader
₊⊹ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — my valentine’s day jhughes special (albeit a day late ☹️), as promised! sorry it took me so long. couldn’t figure out how to end it. this is unapologetically self-indulgent. also not a wip, but i HAD to do it to em. i’m sorry if your name is brooke or bianca. i love you. promise. maybe we’ll make a part two, if yall like it enough!
₊⊹ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — @dancerbailey3, @bellstwd, @kashee-h, @crazycat-ladys-blog, @brucewaynegfreal, @love4dlr, @jackhughesily, @leavethemonsteralive, @loveforaugust, @43hughes, @nathandoe, @choppedlamphandscowboy, @bunting58, @angelayse, @ru-kru, @sleepretreat, @nonsensical-nonsence, @maih23 (if your name is white, i couldn’t tag you!)
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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Everyone knows the saying you never know what you have until you lose it. Truth was, you knew exactly what you had—you’d just never imagined you’d lose it.
You never imagined you’d lose him.
A shared childhood and mothers’ who found friendship with each other had brought you and Jack Hughes together, kept you glued even as skin stretched and futures diverged—where he’d gone on to be a star hockey player, you’d quietly came into adulthood, trekking through the difficulties of college.
In your younger years, Jack had always been there. Life of the party, a mirrorball everyone gravitated to for its decadent shine—you, contrastingly, felt like a sore thumb at parties, attending them only to see the smile on Jack’s face. Differing personalities and life routes aside, Jack was your person. The first person you called whenever you were sad, or happy, or bored. The one who knew all of your test scores first, who took hours long flights just to visit you during breaks in the season.
Distance nor time had left a lasting mark on your friendship, kept together by constant phone calls and texts. Whilst you remained imbedded in the hustle of Toronto, Jack was trapped in New Jersey—a gap that you closed every summer, when mutual desire to see one another (as well as his brothers) brought you and him to Michigan for a few months.
From childhood, to high school, to now—it had always been you two. Jokes passed in the years, swirling around with assumptions of the two of you ending up together, finally realizing it after years of proclaimed friendship. For Jack, it’d never been romantic. Loving and caring, a relationship he’d never trade for the world, but the intimacy ended there. Memories of him outwardly flirting with girls in front of you at bars or parties flashed in your mind any time you figured maybe; he’d never given any indicator that you were or would ever be more to him than his best friend.
For you? It was an embarrassingly different story.
College had stolen much of your time—left none for a love life. But truthfully, that didn’t much phase you.
Hookups, flings, boyfriends—all of them paled in comparison to Jack. A childhood crush perpetuated by maturation without loss of contact, Jack had just… always been there. Always a best friend, never a lover; the hanging axe of rejection was too dire a outcome for you to ever consider telling him. Killing a friendship you’d grown with would kill you. And maybe he felt the same way, maybe the kisses he reserved for the crown of your head and the guiding hand he kept on the small of your back meant something, but you couldn’t continue existing if they didn’t.
So, a dutiful friend, you kept quiet, spared the connection and suffered in unrequited love.
And it hadn’t really changed until Jack had gotten a girlfriend. In all your years of knowing him, he’d had a few—though they rarely lasted more than a handful of months, and a selfish and bitter part of you liked that. Sometimes they overstepped, viewed themselves above you in the ranking of Jack’s life; he made painfully clear they never would be.
And it felt good, to be that cherished. But then you remembered he didn’t actually love you and it felt a whole lot less impactful.
Not Brooke.
Brooke, a box-dye blonde with a less-than-stellar reaction to your friendship with her boyfriend, was unarguably beautiful—unapproachably so, someone you’d picture whenever thinking of the girl Jack would end up with. You knew it would never be you, but you hated that it was her, hated that it was finally cemented, the coffin wheeled out.
A friendship you’d cherished for years had been weathered down by the abrasive actions of his girlfriend. It left a bitter taste in your mouth; Jack never seemed privy to Brooke’s nonverbal dislike of you, and you never made comment of it. If Jack was happy, what did it matter? If you said anything, all you’d appear to be was a child throwing a tantrum, the attention torn from them. You refused to jeopardize Jack’s happiness, even if it meant shredding your own.
Brooke tolerated you; that was the best word you could think of. There was surely no excess of love, but you didn’t think she flat out despised you, either. Passive aggressive to the point of just being aggressive, snide looks whenever she didn’t think you could see, intentionally separating you from Jack whenever the two of you were talking—it all made you hate being around her, and by extension, him.
So when he’d invited you to dinner with him—and some of his teammates, a monthly ritual at his house—the knee jerk reaction had been to decline, lie, run while you were still free from the piercing glare of Brooke; because you knew she’d be there, clung to his side, as if you had any intention of taking him away.
… Well, you’d did have the intention. Never the will, so then again maybe she was right to hate you. Feelings you’d never act on, words you’d never say—none of it mattered. She had him. Not you. Never you.
You should’ve said no.
Pouting eyes and pleading lips caved you. As soon as you’d agreed, you’d regretted it—knew in your bones it would only serve to wedge the knife in your heart deeper, solidify the loss of a what you thought would be a lifelong partnership. Your platonic soulmate, twin flame pinched out by hateful fingers.
Getting ready for the dinner felt like preparing for a cage fight, where all night you’d have do endure blow after blow—them kissing, them touching, him loving her in a way you wished he’d love you.
Night blanketed the sky by the time you’d arrived to Jack’s home, shadows slipping by the window, shapes of people telling you that you were likely late—the stone in your stomach had slowed you monumentally. The torture was self-inflicted, you knew. There would be no pity when your heart finally gave out.
She did this to herself, they’d say. Hearts can only endure so much before they break.
Voices coalesced into one as you pushed open the door, welcomed by the familiar atmosphere of friendship and loud laughter. You’d completely forgotten to text Jack that you’d gotten here—and for some reason, as you crossed the threshold into the gaping space of his living room, you felt like an outsider. Sudden eyes landed on you like bullets, and all you saw was Jack—his side taken dutifully by Brooke, always beautiful, striking in a way you didn’t think you’d ever been.
Looking at her, it made sense why she was the one Jack chose. Why you hadn’t been. A best friend. Childhood acquaintance. Faded t-shirt he’d strung along for too many years, even as the design weathered away and the fabric weakened. He’d gotten a shiny new one, the novelty still in tact, yet he hadn’t let you go.
Some part of you, deep in the caves of your wounded heart, wished Brooke would ban him from your presence. Maybe then your hurt would lessen. You knew you’d never be able to let go on your own.
Jack’s eyes caught you, stood awkwardly in the mouth of the hallway. He attempted to stand, only for Brooke to tug him down by his t-shirt—the shirt you’d bought him for his birthday last year, impressed with two hearts holding hands. She said something to him, something low and hissed between clenched teeth. Before you could see his reaction, Nico was invading your space, arms winding around you.
“There she is!” he announced, the ground leaving your feet as he lifted you playfully. “We were waiting on you to eat. Sure do like to take your time.”
Residual bitterness faded at Nico’s words—Jack may have been your best friend, but years of being attached to him introduced you to his teammates; they were always kind, if a little overbearing. A big brother that toed the line of overprotective and well-wishing.
Grateful for the attention distractor, you allowed your shoulders to relax and lungs to decompress. The first cut at seeing Jack, still happily in love with Brooke, was already dealt; you just needed to get through the dinner, and not look like a hostage while doing so.
“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed, shoving Nico’s shoulder as he brought you towards where the others were gathered in the living room. “Make fun of me for driving like a grandma all you want, at least I’m safe.”
Not looking at Jack took more self control than you’d care to admit. Blurring in your peripheral, a mess of colors stacked atop one another, you knew if you glanced—saw the claim Brooke was staking for all to see—it would only make you want to leave. So you didn’t.
Luke was next to greet you, offering a pity-imbued smile. Despite never mentioning your affections for his older brother, you knew he knew; saw it in the way he would look at you, the frowns offered. In times when Brooke inadvertently talked you down, it was Luke who told her off, put balm on the wound.
A side hug and a soft smile—you barely were able to muster one yourself. “How have classes been?”
You graced Luke with an exasperated groan. “Terrible, thanks for reminding me. Economics is kicking my ass.”
Luke sat. You remained standing. A loose thread peeking from your sweatshirt seemed far more intriguing than eyes you were trying desperately not to meet.
“Tough luck,” remarked Luke, conversations reviving after the novelty of your arrival wore off. You recognized a couple of faces around you—Dawson, Jesper, Alexander, and John. Faces you’d become acquainted with in your years of being Jack’s friend.
The title felt a bitter reminder of your ceiling, never surpassing Jack’s best friend. Loved and cherished, a desired presence, just not how you wanted. Who were you to complain? It was better to be his friend than nothing at all; to have a little piece of him, proof that at one point, you’d mattered enough to get it.
You just weren’t sure if you did anymore.
Where once Jack’s name was a regular occurrence, flashing on your phone screen—texts, calls, FaceTimes, they all faded once Brooke came into his life. Movie nights on his couch, reruns of old films that you could quote down to the last line, stopped. You knew Jack cared enough to extend invites, but at this point, you figured it was more out of pity and shame than actual want of your company.
Beggars really couldn’t be choosers.
Eventually, everyone made their way into the dining room. Chairs lined a large wooden table, one chosen and haphazardly assembled by you and Jack when he’d first bought this house. Scratches imbedded in the finish sent flashes of dropped hammers and clumsy feet into your mind, memories that felt too far to touch.
Mind far afield, you sat down—somewhere between Luke and Nico, far enough from Jack to be inconspicuous but close enough to feel the sharp burn of his eyes. It was petty, you knew, to have still not greeted him. Not that Brooke would’ve likely even let you. A sadistic part of you wanted him to feel even a modicum of the agony that rattled you whenever you were forced to watch him and Brooke, wanted to wonder and question why you were so cold.
Then again, maybe he didn’t care.
Body detached from your mind, the last thing you expected was to be spoken to—least of all by Brooke. But there her grating voice was, verging on overuse, but you knew that was just how she talked. Chafing and annoying and awful—
“Still no boyfriend?” A venomous smile curled her lips; friendly to the untrained eye. You knew better.
Your fingers twitched. The food in front of you spoiled, appetite evaporated. Of course she asked that—both a jab and a reassurance; if you had a boyfriend, her relationship with Jack would be safe. Not that it wasn’t, regardless.
You wished you could scream at her, leap across the table and force her to hear your words: you’d never have Jack. Want him, yes. Spend years pining over a boy who looked to you like the sister he never had, absolutely. But actually have him, feel his love in every touch and kiss? No. That wasn’t on the cards for you; you’d folded long ago.
“Nope,” you drawled. The pressure of Jack’s stare caved you—you caught his eyes, eyebrows creased, the wrinkle of his forehead that made itself prominent whenever he was annoyed.
What did he possibly have to be annoyed about?
Catching Luke’s gaze only irked you further, alit the urge to push out of your chair and flee Jack’s home. Pity swelled in his eyes, the beginnings of a frown quirking down his lips. You didn’t want pity; didn’t want to feel like the entire world was in on some inside joke you’d never understand. Everyone saw it, your love for Jack. Saw the lovestruck comedy that was your life—girl loves boy, boy isn’t even aware of it, hilarity ensues.
Everyone but Jack. And honestly, that was for the best.
You didn’t think you’d be able to handle the frown when he found out. Jack Hughes, always kind, never malignant, searching for a way to politely turn down his best friend without taking an axe to the connection. Really, there would be no bloodless way to let it die—so you lived in moments between, where nothing felt impactful or important or real.
When Jack was without Brooke, you could almost imagine he was your Jack—the one who turned down every girl so that he’d be free to go to prom with you, the one who got banned from a restaurant for life for pouring a drink over your cheating ex-boyfriend’s head. The Jack who always protected you, always cared, even when all of his friends couldn’t understand it.
That Jack who currently hand his arm around the back of Brooke’s chair, shoulders touching—a casual thing, something you’d done with countless strangers, yet it felt impactful enough to make bile swim in your throat.
“Probably for the best,” Luke interjected after the conversation—if it even was that—between you and Brooke came to an awkward stalemate. “Guys are dicks.”
A tension somehow always existed whenever you were in a room with Brooke. One you never wanted, never fed into. Like a shadow, the morning mist, it hung thick as smog. Choking you, nearly forcing you from the room.
“You’re a guy,” you laughed weakly, offering Luke a pointed look.
“No one at college, then?” Nico piped up. You felt bad for not looking at him, but he was too close to Jack and Brooke—you didn’t want to see them.
Cozy, warm in a way you thought only you’d ever be with Jack. Familiar, united. Their relationship didn’t seem as superficial as his past ones had, woven together under the pretense of good sex and no real connection. Watching Jack love his new, perfect girlfriend made you physically ill; and maybe that was dramatic, maybe it made you a backwards person with failing morals—you couldn’t care anymore.
Years of hiding your love, months of watching his own be poured into a girl that wanted you out of his life—it wore you down to your bones, dangerously close to burning to ash.
“Most of them are… strange, to say the least,” you responded with a wince. And that was true; your major seemed to just attract men whose one quality was making women uncomfortable. “Plus, having a boyfriend would just distract me. Finals are coming up and I’m already worried about how I’m going to do on them.”
Luke scoffed. “Hookups exist.”
A wince followed Luke’s words. Eyes fell to where Jessica was rubbing her hand—Jack apologized, albeit half-heartedly. Confusion overcame you; had he squeezed her hand too tightly?
In the past, you’d had boyfriends. Not that they lasted very long. Somehow, there was always something wrong with them—something only Jack could see; he’d endlessly nitpick, nag, explain why your newest boyfriend wasn’t good enough for you.
They were too old, too uptight, not nice enough. Always something. And without fail, Jack was right—scarcely did they make it past the first date before some measly excuse fell from their lips. But maybe it wasn’t them; maybe it was you. So, with an aching heart refusing to connect with any other but Jack’s, you gave up. Delved headfirst into college work and stayed below the waves, even as they began to drown you.
All you offered in response to Luke was a shrug.
Conversation picked up then, thankfully fell away from you. Limelight sufficiently dimmed, you allowed yourself to watch Jack; a habit you’d never quite shaken, even in the embarrassing moments when he caught your peering gaze.
You weren’t sure exactly when you’d fallen in love with Jack—just that you had, and now you couldn’t touch the bottom of him. Water filled your lungs, suffocated you, but if drowning meant being near him, you’d happily do it. Dying in his platonic embrace seemed better than dying all alone.
Ruffled brown hair, the sort of charm that every boy-next-door seemed to possess, and clear blue eyes that shone every emotion like a transparent window to his soul—all of it made Jack Jack, the boy you loved, would admire even in moments he didn’t think he deserved reverence.
You’d seen it all: the self-deprecation after his failure of a rookie year, dwindling confidence, tears imbued with hurt and disappointment, frustration of someone who knew they were better. It was you who’d been by his side, proved an anchor to a person you couldn’t live without.
Yet he’d still chosen Brooke.
For most people, that would be the last step off the cliff, boneless body breaking against the canyon. Not you—so full of hope and dreams, undeterred by every sign the universe gave you. You weren’t his only, but at least you were one.
Jack’s lips parted into a smile, one you could tell was real—his kissed Brooke’s temple, pinched her on the side. An intimate moment in a crowded room. You felt almost as if you were trespassing, a stranger watching two people in love. Part of you didn’t even associate that boy as Jack, because you couldn’t understand how he could love someone so averse to you, so… mean. But then again, it wasn’t about you.
It was about him. Accommodations had been made for years—leaving parties early because you were uncomfortable, blowing off his guy friends to comfort you after a bad date, scrapping his wants and his plans because of something to do with you.
He was probably sick of it. Sick of you, dictating what he could and couldn’t do. Who he could and couldn’t date. Because who cared if Brooke hated you; Jack loved her, despite it all. And that was what made dread swirl into a storm in your heart, ribs nearly cracking under the rate it was thundering at.
Abruptly, you stood. Felt the chair nearly topple. Eyes came to you—Jack’s friends. Yours, yes, but Jack’s foremost. You were just intruding, butting into a life that no longer fit you. Time had passed, the wishful minds of children grown into adulthood. He didn’t owe you anything anymore, especially when all you were was a storm cloud over his parade.
Just as soon as you had, Jack stood, concern clear in his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
Your tongue felt like lead. “Nothing—nothing, sorry. I’m—I need to use the restroom.”
You didn’t wait much longer before leaving the room.
Air felt scarce, lungs punctured and deflating quicker than you could patch the holes. Clumsily, you pushed open the door to the bathroom, steadied your shaking hands on the edge of the sink. Looking at yourself, reflection marred by the onset of tears, all you could do was compare—compare to Brooke, to every girl Jack had ever wanted, ever liked, ever loved.
Was it their features, doughy lips that worshipped him in a way you didn’t? Was it their bodies, womanly and free in a way you didn’t like to be? Or was it deeper, were their souls crafted from the same light, in a way you’d always thought your own had been with Jack’s?
Idiot, fool, dreamer—you were all of it. Like a lap dog, bird in its teeth, you always returned, remained dutifully at Jack’s side for the moment he might open the screen door and finally let you in.
Brooke had every right to hate you. Perceptive in a way Jack wasn’t, she saw what everyone else did—the lovesick eyes, foolish faith chaining you to him, an unrealized desire that would never be acted on. Had you been in Brooke’s place, you would’ve hated yourself as well.
Water poured from the faucet, gathered in your cupped palms. Attempting to desecrate any evidence of tears, you gently splashed the water in your face—went to dry it when you heard the sound of the front door creaking open.
“Oh, thank God you’re here, Bee.”
Cold crept up your spine. Eavesdropping was wrong—you knew that, yet still found yourself leaning against the bathroom door to catch Brooke’s words.
“What’s going on?” came the response, likely the voice of Bianca, Brooke’s best friend. You’d met her once at a game (met was a loose word; she’d given you a snide look and taken to ignoring you the entire time).
Brooke’s voice lowered to the point where you were forced to strain to hear her speak. “You know Jack’s little pet?”
A lapse. Your heart seized, taken by some concoction of shame and surprise.
“No.”
“Yes!” responded Brooke. “She’s fucking everywhere. I asked Jack not to invite her tonight, and lo and behold—”
“Wait, I thought you talked to Jack?”
“I did.” Vexation laced every letter. “I told him it made me uncomfortable how close they were, how she was always around, blah blah. He got defensive, but he said he’d talk to her.”
“Clearly not,” Bianca muttered. “Look, I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re childhood friends, yeah? He probably feels like he has to stay her friend, or something. I mean, Jack’s a good guy, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone; if he dropped her, he’d look like a douche. I’m sure she’ll get the hint eventually.”
Footsteps began, voices fading along with them. “I fucking hope. It’s honestly pathetic.”
Blood roared in your ears, drowned out the sound of your beating heart—if it was even beating anymore. Something bitter and hot invaded your airways, lashed like whips against your flesh. It was no secret Brooke disliked you, disliked the closeness of you and Jack, but to hear it, the vicious way it fell from her lips—it made your gut twist and constrict, pushing bile towards your throat.
Pathetic. They thought you were pathetic, hopelessly waiting, like a dead plant praying for flowers that would never come. Lovelorn, seeking affection that only came by way of friendship and never more; they were right, and it became evident with a strike of lightning to your body.
Is that truly how Jack felt? Was he waiting for you to give up, so to spare you the hurt of being let down? Had you become baggage? Chained to him, the memory of childhood the only thing keeping you relevant, when times were less impactful and his life didn’t center around being a professional athlete. The stain of youth, remaining only for its joyful memory; that’s all you were now—a memory.
Just like your love, it seemed everyone saw Jack’s hints but you. Rose-colored lenses blurred everything but what you wished to see; of course you missed them, ignored them so your narrative remained intact.
God, you were an idiot. A fucking idiot.
Head pounding, the squeeze of an oncoming migraine rattling your brain, you opened the bathroom door. Felt like a trapped bird all the way back to the table—you just had to get through dinner, only an hour or two, so as to not raise any suspicion, and then you could fade from Jack’s life.
Not that he’d notice. He hadn’t even spoken to you tonight, though no fault of his own; Brooke kept her claws deep, and it was clear he didn’t want to risk an argument. Not that you could blame him—she was his girlfriend. Her. Not you. He didn’t owe you anything.
Conversations filled your ears, ostracized you—every time you had opened your mouth before, it had felt wrong, the scratch on a vinyl everyone skipped over. You saw him first—noticeably tense, chair a bit further away from Brooke that it had been earlier. Tensed forehead, hands balled on the table; you longed to ask what was wrong, as you were used to doing. But you imagined talking to him, and it somehow felt wrong, a peasant addressing a king.
Then, your eyes fell to your seat.
No longer empty, occupied now by Bianca, who was talking casually with Brooke, as if her actions hadn’t changed your entire perception of the situation. There were no more seats. No more room. The metaphor wasn’t lost on you, hit with the same sting of antiseptic on a wound—there wasn’t any more room for you at the table, just as there was no room for you in Jack’s life.
Maybe this was always meant to happen. Childhood didn’t remain forever, and it seemed, neither was your friendship. You’d always wondered why Jack had chosen you, someone so dissimilar to himself and his friends. Eventually, you made peace with it. His friendship was a balm to everything negative. Now… here you were again, more ostracized than ever.
What were you supposed to do? The long haul wasn’t meant to have an end.
Everyone was looking at you now. Stage fright, you lost your speech, thousands of eyes from a crowd looking at you, spotlight centered on your face, and you couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t—
Blue eyes found you, stood stonily at the entrance of the dining room. Jack’s eyebrows knitted, confused as to why you were still stood. When he saw Bianca, his lip curled. Frustration sparked, bemusement painted over. Once more that protective streak flared, something you were so used to—it had once felt the greatest trophy, proof that the Jack Hughes cared enough to stand up for you. It felt a sore consolation now, a reminder that, as always, you’d be the meek girl from his childhood he was forced to drag along, defend, shield from his new life that he fit into perfectly, that you spilled out from.
“Get up.”
Then, the attention went to him.
Brooke glanced at her boyfriend, annoyance flashing on her face. Their conversation paused. “What?”
Jack nodded towards Bianca. “She took her seat,” he explained in a clipped voice. “Get up.”
Brooke rolled her eyes. “Jack, it’s not a big—”
“It is,” he interrupted. Tension sparked in the air like a misfired firework. “She needs to sit and Bianca took her place, so—”
“It’s fine!” The words spilled out before you could second guess them. They came out raw and pained and everything you didn’t want to appear as; pity pooled from everyone, that sort of second-hand pity you saw on strangers faces when you’d lose your footing and fall.
It was too much. Pins dug into your skin, all of a sudden too tight. You needed to leave. Now, before your bones crumbled and heart gave out and finally everything burst.
“I—um, I should probably get going, anyway,” you said, nodding as if trying to be convincing. “With finals comin’ up I should get in as much studying as I can.”
Determination was something you’d always admired about Jack; it only irked you now. He stood, shrugged off Brooke’s outstretched hand and came to stand before you, and God—it was a disservice to not admire him, even as annoyance creased his eyes and drew inwards his lips. Beauty, in such a raw form, it startled you. Growing up, he’d always been the center of everyones attention. The hockey prodigy, the first overall draft pick, the franchise player for the Devils.
You? You’d been nothing special. Yet he’d still chosen you. And here he was, apparently doing it again—but why? Why when he had a beautiful girlfriend and a perfect life and fun friends did he always come back, when clearly you were no more than a burden?
You tried not to seem spiteful. You did. But it was so hard to hide your wounds and ignore their pain. He may not have seen them, but they were unfortunately still there. And it seemed they always would be.
“You can’t,” he said, searched your gaze—he’d always been able to see straight through you, with such simplicity it frightened you. You tried to shuttered your expression, hide your pain. It wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have. “Dinner’s just started—”
“Really, J, it’s fine.” Heat bored into your face where you knew Brooke was staring, daring you to express any deeper connection with Jack past the sheltered friendliness you were currently forcing.
You weren’t going to budge. Jack saw that, and so he sighed and glanced out the window. “I’ll drive you home.”
Oh, God. Nothing was ever easy. Pushing and pushing and pushing until you weren’t sure you even wanted to get up anymore, to even try. Every time you did, right back down you went, encapsulated by everything Jack.
Freedom felt a forgotten thing. You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t love Jack, when he wasn’t at the forefront of your mind, main star of the play.
And honestly, you were tired. Tired of wishing for something that would never happen. Tired of being viewed as the shackle around Jack’s wrist. Just tired.
“No need,” you muttered noncommittally, saw the way Jack’s face twisted with concern and confusion and everything you didn’t want to see. “It’s your dinner, J. With my grandma driving, I’ll get home safe.”
The attempt at a joke didn’t land. Smile didn’t even begin to twitch his lips. “It’s dark outside,” he stated, an obvious fact that held no weight for anyone but you and him. “I always drive you when it’s dark.”
That was true enough; your inability to see properly at night meant Jack became your chauffeur, not that he ever complained—even still, it was another thing he did for you, time sacrificed to accommodate you. Prepared to leave his own dinner, his own girlfriend, just to make sure you didn’t have to do something you were uncomfortable with. Conceptually, it was sweet, a sort of gesture that would’ve normally made your heart soar. Now? It made you feel like a burden, an incapable little girl still hiding in the shadow of her protector, afraid of the sting of daylight.
No more.
“I’m going to be fine,” you reassured. Jack didn’t appear convinced—he never was satisfied when it came to you, to your safety, unless he was directly involved. “Stay and have fun.”
“What if—”
“Let her go, babe.”
Brooke’s voice proved the nail in the coffin; a part of you heard the undertone of excitement shot through her words, the possibility of your leave alleviating any annoyance your presence had brought. Without you, Jack’s attention would be fully on her. Without you, he wouldn’t have to concern himself on whether you were having fun and if you were okay.
You. You. You.
You’d considered yourself Jack’s anchor, the grounding of his mind—unfortunately, you’d forgotten an anchor also keeps a thing in place, forcing inactivity.
Let her go.
It rang like a death knell, struck sharp as a poisoned dart, invisible but so unmistakably fatal.
Gathering what remained of your dignity, you grabbed your purse off of your—Bianca’s—chair, caught the commiseration shining in Luke’s eyes like a tarnished trophy. It only stung, reminded you that you needed pity.
Before you could flee the room like a scolded dog, Jack caught your wrist. Heat bloomed, a fever rushing to your head—his simple touch made you sick with want and need and something deeper that would never be realized or fostered. Something you had to let die.
“Text me when you’re home,” he said softly. Fingers gently squeezed your wrist. Where once you’d feel comforted, you just felt trapped. “Please.”
Not trusting your words, all you did was nod.
Honestly, you’d expected some dark cloud to cover you when finally you decided to move on. A procession of funeral goers flocking like crows, unable to understand why you’d abandoned a years-long friendship over something insignificant. Over words spewed from hateful lips.
But it wasn’t what you’d overheard. Deeper, a more sharp knowledge that even if Jack loved you, held you closer than anyone in his circle of friends, he’d never want you in the way you desired. And for a while, that was okay. Because he existed separate of everything—and then came Brooke, and it all crumbled.
You could handle him not loving you. You couldn’t, however, handle him loving someone else so openly.
Street lights blurred behind tears, a mess of streaky lights like a watercolor canvas. Flashes of nights when Jack would drive you home, insisting on taking the wheel so that you didn’t have to toe out of your comfort zone, they haunted you like a inescapable film reel on repeat in your mind. Memories fogged by lost youth, angry words from Jack’s lips as he’d stand up for you—never a party person, denounced for draining the fun. Jack never let those insults slip lip before he was barking at whoever said it.
A responsibility. A burden. The lines had become blurred in recent years.
The latter seemed more fitting.
Through a barrier of tears, you were able to send Jack a text as your car rolled to a stop in the parking lot.
me
at my dorm
j :)
ok good. u ok? u seemed off @ dinner
Fingers hovered over your screen. Make movements to draft a text. Nothing seemed sufficient.
You let the text stale. Sit stagnant on your phone. Jack would likely worry, eventually call—you just wanted to fall into a void and never return. Not after the mess you’d made of dinner.
The mess you’d made of your life.
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Making a ghost of yourself was far more difficult than you’d thought it would be.
Incessantly, Jack had texted you, called you—you didn’t answer any of them. Silence felt a balm to your shame. Selfish, you knew, to just ghost Jack without offering any explanation, but nothing would be sufficient, not without souring the connection you were hoping would die without pain.
Cowardice, craven, pathetic—you knew you were all of it. To you, you were giving Jack a chance to pull back, to fizzle the friendship of his own accord. Maybe then it would’ve stung less, if the desire of its end was reciprocated, mutual. As it were, it was not.
Even with your withdrawal, Jack still tried. Shot texts, called and punctuated them with voicemails, sent you TikToks and Snaps and everything he would normally do if everything was fine; but it wasn’t. And you knew he knew, could sense the urgency in his attempts at communication.
You felt dirty, filthy with shame and guilt.
Despite your best efforts, you didn’t appear as unaffected as you hoped. While your insides were shredding themselves, you tried valiantly to paint over your visage with the normal happy-go-lucky smile you always wore. Most people, if they noticed, didn’t comment on it.
Unfortunately, Kaylen did notice.
Since your freshman year of college, Kaylen had been your roommate—low maintenance, intelligent to the point of making you stupid without even trying. As such, she was far more perceptive than you gave her credit for.
There’d been times you confided in her about your feeling for Jack, sought out advice that never seemed good enough. Because no one but yourself could fix the valley that had split between Jack and you. You could seek outward help all you wanted, but nothing would change unless you did something—and, really, you weren’t sure that was even a good idea anymore.
Two days of moping resulted in Kaylen’s intervention.
“Get up.”
Sunlight bled through your shut eyes, forced a wince. Hands rolled you onto your back, the somewhat stiff mattress of your bed providing a measly cushion. Sleep intruded on, your hands extended, attempted to push away the figure you knew what trying to rile you.
“Go away,” you grunted, throat thickened by sleep and other terrible emotions.
“No,” Kaylen hissed. When finally you opened your eyes, her squinted expression invaded your vision. “Look, I’ve let you be miserable for two days, but it’s getting ridiculous. What the hell happened with you and loverboy?”
A jolt nearly paused your heart mid-beat. Thinking about Jack stung in a way you didn’t like to admit, mainly due to the fact that it was painfully embarrassing that he had such a control over you.
“Don’t call him that,” you muttered, bit your tongue to stop anything else from spilling out.
Kaylen’s eyebrows quirked. “So it is about him?”
Nails scraped your lungs. “No—yes—fuck,” you moaned, sitting up and balancing your forehead on bent knees. “It’s… all fucked up, K. I don’t know what to do.”
A sigh left her lips. You felt the bed dip as she climbed beside you. “I can help if you tell me.”
And so you did, started at the beginning of dinner to the end, as you left like a dog defeating in a cage match, heart crying blood. Comforting circles were rubbed into your thigh, but all they did was remind you how Jack used to trace shapes onto your leg, or arm, or back—how he touched you, just to know you were there, with him. He said it placated him.
It was shameful, how bile teased your throat even imagining it.
Rationally, you knew everything was your doing. Loving Jack, torturing yourself by being in his presence whilst he focused his attention on his girlfriend. Expecting any semblance of affection or intimacy even as another held his heart, branded her name over your own. It was always going to happen—knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.
When finally you finished, the conclusion of your mournful, self-pitying tale followed by the sting of unwanted tears, Kaylen’s thoughtful silence waned. Her lips pursed, fingers twitching. You expected her to berate you; what had you expected, stupid girl? He has a girlfriend!
Instead, Kaylen hugged you. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry,” she murmured, pulled back with that pitiful smile you’d seen one too many times—one you’d be fine with if you never saw again. “He cares about you—”
“Not how I care about him, though,” you finished, and Kaylen gave a weak nod.
“I mean, if you told him what Brooke and her little bitch of a friend said, I’m sure he’d leave her. He’s done more for less.” That much was true. Regardless of whose lips it came from, Jack didn’t tolerate disrespect towards you—cut long time friends off for assuming they had any authority to speak poorly of you.
And you knew—knew with the same certainty that you knew your own name—that Jack would break up with Brooke if he knew how she’d spoken of you.
That should’ve made you giddy. Bursted bright light in your chest at the prospect of having Jack to yourself once more. Instead, it made you feel heavy, sand packed into your bones. Who were you to invade his happiness? If he’d chosen Brooke, so be it.
Sure, she’d disparaged you, but Jack’s life wasn’t yours to dictate anymore. If he wanted Brooke, he’d have her, until he decided to leave—not because you decided for him.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Eyelids heavy, the residue of late-night tears remaining on the skin, you felt the fight leave you. Kaylen frowned. “I just want it all to be over.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Seriously? You’re giving up on an eight year friendship because of something some dickface said about you? I thought Jack meant more to you than that.”
Kaylen’s words stung. Made you defensive, because she was right—you were giving up and you did care about Jack, but the pain had become too much. “It’s not—it’s harder to explain than that. He’s outgrown me, K. Everyone can see it but him. I’m an obligation, a burden, and yeah, maybe he loves me as a friend and maybe he wants me around, but his friends never have—his fucking girlfriend doesn’t. And at this point, I just want it to end, I want him to be happy without the conditions of making me happy.”
Silence followed. Contemplation showed clear on Kaylen’s face. You could tell, even without her words, that she didn’t agree—but, she didn’t comment on that. Rather, she placed a hand on your leg and squeezed.
Just like Jack always did.
“It’s your life, babe,” she conceded. “And if you want to do this, I’m not going to stop you—but you have to be content with it.” She gestured to you, the nest of blankets and red-rimmed eyes. “Because this? This isn’t happiness over a good choice. You’re miserable without him, and it’s been barely two days. Think about what you’re doing before it’s irreversible.”
With that, Kaylen got up and went to her own bed, and neither of you made comment of it for the rest of the day.
Her words came again and again like a fractured turntable. Of course you were miserable—Jack had been a constant in your life for eight years, consistently preserving your peace, including you when you’d never felt more like an outsider. Happiness was synonymous with Jack, his smile, his presence, him.
Did you regret your decision? Yes, and no. You regretted the way you’d gone about it. The petty silence, ignoring a person who’d made your younger years bearable. Your friendship deserved a better death than that, a reason rather than just… fading from existence, as if it never mattered in the first place.
That wasn’t the message you wanted conveyed, and so with fingers unsteadied by aftershocks, you texted Jack.
You weren’t sure how you’d explain, if you could tiptoe around the actual reason. Maybe you couldn’t, and maybe that was okay.
me
i’m so sorry for everything. i’ll explain in person. can we meet up?
Your response came half a second later. As if he were waiting. That selfish part of you prayed he had been.
j :)
ofc. my place tn?
me
yeah. that’s good. brooke won’t be upset?
Asking after her made you want to puke, but you knew it was necessary—she didn’t like Jack even breathing near you, having an entire sit down conversation with him was certainly out of the question.
Thrice, the little text bubble appeared and disappeared on your phone screen. You could sense the apprehension without any background knowledge.
j :)
not a problem. we broke up.
It was shameful, the backwards type of pleasure that brought you.
Maybe you were a terrible person. A terrible friend. You tried to reason that it wasn’t wrong to love someone, to wish they were yours.
me
shit j. i’m sorry
j :)
i’m not. i’ll see u tn. 7:30 work? have dinner w the guys.
me
yeah, that’s fine. see you soon, j.
j :)
be safe. i’ll text you when i’m home.
The hard part wasn’t even over, and your heart was already breaking in two.
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Sweat beaded at your palms, the cold claws of apprehension raking down your spine. Countless times you’d been stood here, facing the lifeless beige of Jack’s apartment door. This time, however, you stood here knowing it was the last time. A silent farewell to familiarity, the ties finally cut. Jack would fight, you would cry, and maybe he’d be able to change your mind—it seemed such an unlikely outcome that it calcified every inhale in your throat.
Shaking hands rapped the wooden door, where behind would come the execution of a friendship you’d held like a crutch for years upon years. Your childhood had died, and maybe it would’ve been better had it been left there as well, so as to spare you this heart-rending pain.
Even still, you wouldn’t have traded those years for the world—everything they taught you, through pain and happiness. It made you who you were, brought you to his doorstep with melancholy eyes and a failing heart.
Footsteps echoed on the other side of the door, urgent in a way that picked up your heart rate. The next moments you imagined with brutal clarity—Jack’s hopeful gaze, blue in a way no one else’s ever had been, the soft slope of his nose you teased him for, scrunched whenever he was particularly concerned. How he’d usher you in, hear your words, plead for a moment to explain, and then admit his love for you.
That was how you dreamt it. Unsurprisingly, it was not how it went.
Instead of the door opening to reveal the man you’d love for a lifetime, the squealing hinges were followed by a face that nearly knocked you backwards. Previous indifference smeared into flat-out disdain as Brooke’s eyes caught your figure, engulfed in one of Jack’s faded hoodies and likely disheveled in a way she’d never experienced herself.
Arrows punctured your lungs, sole your breath and defaulted your barely beating heart. Brooke was here. At Jack’s apartment. After they’d supposedly broken up. Had he lied? Was he tricking you, making you the fool? He never would, you knew that, but your wounded mind spun falsities to perpetuate your pain, as if punishment for trusting him in the first place.
“What do you want?” Brooke grunted, leant against the doorframe. Lips twitched into a smirk, the smile of the victorious.
You’d never considered yourself a violent person, but the urge to punch her in the teeth itched your fists. “Is Jack here?”
Her face fell. Something dark flashed in her face—she hesitated a moment, tossed a look over her shoulder. “Yes.”
The curt response was better than nothing, you supposed. “Right, well, can you tell—”
Brooke ran a hand through her hair. Adjusted the clasp of her necklace. “We were kind of in the middle of something. Come back later?”
The axe struck down.
Gravel filled your throat. Suffocated you. If Brooke knew the affect of her words, for once it didn’t show on her face. Years of life had taught you many things, drug you through agonies you wouldn’t relive for anything, yet somehow, this was the worst pain.
To be betrayed, trust snapped by a single action, it stung. Wormed venom in your veins and contaminated your bloodstream, poisoning your heart. Realistically, Jack hadn’t actually done anything wrong. He was allowed to hook up with other girls, to love them—he had, for years.
That wasn’t the issue.
No, it was the fact that he’d set a time, invited you over, and somehow forgot? Or had he set it all up, just to rub it in your face, get his lick-back for your prolonged silence towards him? Either way, it hurt, hurt like a bitch.
Made stone, all you did for a moment was blink at Brooke before a voice called from the background, “Who is it?”
Jack.
Fright found you then, broke away your shell of stone. You couldn’t let him see you, the dog wishing once more to come in from the cold. If he’d planned it, and saw you, he knew he’d won. If he hadn’t planned it, then he realized that—irrecoverably—he fucked up. Both choices felt like a criminal trial you didn’t want any part of.
“I—um—have a good night,” you rushed out, feet stumbling over themselves as you practically ran away from Jack’s door.
So much for closure.
So much for being broken up.
Maybe this was your sign. The one you needed to finally pull away.
Because Jack Hughes didn’t love you. Not past platonic soulmates—a relationship stained with past memories, ones that made both of you incapable of letting go, even as you outgrew it.
You were done being second best. Done trying to squeeze into a place you didn’t fit anymore.
If Brooke was Jack’s choice, so be it. You didn’t want any part of it anymore.
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little-diable · 2 months ago
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Wild creations - Tyler Owens (smut)
I just love pairings like these. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx
Summary: Tyler is the best friend of reader’s brother. When he comes visit their vacation home, it’s time for them to finally give in to the feelings both had tried to swallow ever since they had been teenagers.
Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected piv, idiots in love, brother’s best friend setting, some slight angst
Pairing: Tyler Owens x fem!reader (3.2k words)
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“I’m not giving up my room, Jake.” Her voice dripped with annoyance and anger, hands pressed to her sides as she stared her bother down. It had only been a handful of hours since her return to their family’s vacation home, set on enjoying a week off with just her closest family around. Plans that were now slipping through her fingers like warm sand.
“Oh, come on, Tyler hasn’t been sleeping on a comfortable bed for weeks, you’ve slept in the guest bedroom before.” Jake leaned against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest while studying (y/n) with an almost bored expression.
“And why is that any of my problem? He’s your friend, you can sleep in the other room then. Now fuck off.” Perhaps she shouldn’t have come visit the same time as her brother, the one person she loved more than any words could describe, the one person she could also strangle with her bare hands more often than she’d like to admit.
“My mattress is shit and you know it. Please, (y/n), it’s only for three nights.” The deep sigh leaving her drew a bright smirk onto Jake’s lips. He pushed himself away from the door frame to step closer, to press a kiss to her forehead and to mumble a soft “Thank you”.
She watched her brother leave with tired eyes, wondering how she’d make it through this week. (Y/n) was no stranger to being around Tyler, one of Jake’s closest friends since their early high school days, but ever since she’s kept her distance. Tyler was handsome, smart, wickedly funny, a dangerous mixture she couldn’t get involved with - especially not since he was one of Jake’s friends.
……
“So how many tornadoes has it been so far? Quite the active season, right?” (Y/n) tried to keep her focus on her food as her parents kept chatting with Tyler, who had arrived a while ago. Even though she had tried to avoid him for as long as possible, she hadn’t managed to stay away for long, pulled into a tight hug that had lasted a handful of seconds too long. A hug that had made her heart skip a beat. A hug that had left her feeling light headed and dizzy.
“Too many to count, but it has been more active than expected, that's for certain.” Tyler’s smile showed off his pearly white teeth, eyes wandering around the table to focus on (y/n). She tried to ignore his gaze on her, not daring to give in that easily, but as his knee bumped hers, her eyes automatically snapped up to meet his piercingly bright ones. “How’ve you been, (y/n)? Jake told me about your new position.”
An almost half hearted, rushed reply left her, rambling away about her new position while heat crawled up her neck. Tyler’s grin was unwavering, glued to his lips, a grin that made her hands ball into fists as the realisation swapped over her that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. The others didn’t seem to catch on, lost in their own conversation about whatever Jake was telling their parents.
“Thank you for letting me sleep in your room, darlin’. I know how much you love that space.” His hand rested on her thigh for a moment while he reached for one of the food stacked plates, he squeezed her warm skin before letting go again - a touch that felt as if he had poured boiling water over her skin, forced to accept that Tyler was peeling away the layers of restraint one by one.
“Well, I didn’t really have a choice, thanks to your best friend.” A loud laugh left Tyler as he shook his head at her. For a few more seconds, he looked down at her, studying the woman he had always found himself fascinated by.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind sharing the bed with you, and I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time.” Now she really needed to look away, staring down at her food with her jaw muscles clenched. She had tried to forget about that night for years, how she had shared a bed with him drunk off her face, pressed to his side with his arms tightly wrapped around her frame. She didn’t remember much of that night, and perhaps it was for the better that way, yet the way she had felt overly protected and comfortable in his arms was forever etched into her memory.
“Jake would kill you.” The words rolled off her tongue a tad bit too loud, catching her brother’s attention who now looked at the two from his seat. Though while (y/n) kept her gaze locked onto her brother’s features, Tyler’s hand found its way back to her knee, comfortably resting there. She struggled to focus on anything but his closeness, the warm touch of his slightly calloused fingertips.
“Why would I kill him?” Panic flushed through (y/n), she cleared her throat before trying to scramble something random together.
“(Y/n) knows that you’re a sore loser, and I’m all for kicking your ass in another game tonight.”
……
She was deep in thought, staring at her reflection in the mirror while brushing her teeth. (Y/n) pondered over her choices, wondering if she should leave earlier to escape Tyler’s closeness. Being around him had always been hard, but today something seemed to have shifted. It appeared as if he was set on teasing her, on touching her at any given chance to make her body buzz in excitement.
“Can I come in?” Her eyes snapped towards his bright ones, staring at him in the mirror. Tyler didn’t wait for her reply, he stepped into the bathroom before closing the door behind himself.
Wordlessly, he came to rest next to her, keeping his eyes on the mirror with a bright smile tugging on his lips. She watched him squeeze some toothpaste onto his toothbrush before he mimicked her movements. His sweats hung dangerously low on his hips, telling her that he’d only need to stretch his arms to show off the muscular stomach she had seen too many times to count, forced to endure being around him whenever hot summer days were upon them.
(Y/n) had to avert her eyes, trying to speed up her movements to flee from this very room as soon as possible. She tried to be as graceful as possible with spitting out and rinsing her mouth before drying her face, but the second she tried to turn from Tyler, his hand snapped out to find her wrist. It only took him a handful of moments to get rid of his toothbrush and to lean back against the sink while pulling her against him.
Almost automatically her hands found his chest, pressed against his muscular body to stop herself from tumbling into him. Wide eyes stared up at him, getting lost in the rich colour reminding her of a summer morning, filled with excitement about what the new day would bring, and yet there was a depth to the colour she could barely pinpoint, something dark almost.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Tyler’s hands rested on her waist, leaving (y/n) to curse herself for only wearing an oversized sleep shirt and a pair of panties he could easily get a glimpse of. Her mouth was dry, throat closing up as she rang for words to protest, to speak lies neither of them would believe.
“It’s late, Tyler, let me get some sleep in, please.” She mumbled the words, eyes no longer focused on his but rather on his neck. His eyes burned holes into her skin with their intense gaze, a burning fire she couldn’t escape from.
“Not before you tell me what I did wrong.” Tyler’s words managed to gain her attention, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He hadn’t done anything wrong - besides the teasing that had grown more prominent than ever before. He wasn’t the one to blame for her distance, god, she doubted there was anything Tyler could do wrong when it came to her. Oblivious as one could be, that was all he was.
“Nothing, Tyler. There’s nothing going on, I’m just tired.” Slowly, his hand began to move. His fingers grasped her chin, forcing (y/n) to look up at him while he silently studied her for a few seconds. He shook his head at her, as if she could read his thoughts and knew exactly what was going through his mind. Nothing but questions neither had an answer to.
“Talk to me, please. It’s just me, darlin’. I don’t like that weird tension between us.” Her eyes fluttered close for a second, followed by a deep, almost angry breath leaving her. With her heart in her throat, she pushed herself away from him, forcing his hands to let go of her waist at the unexpected need for distance.
“But that’s the problem, Tyler! It’s you, and it always has been. And I don’t know how much longer I can endure that.” Her glassy eyes were focused on the floor as she turned her back to him. He was too slow to catch up with her, still focused on the unexpected words that had surprised them both. All Tyler could do was watch her leave, blending in with the darkness lingering in the hallway - a darkness perfectly hiding the tears that began to roll down her cheeks as if a cloud of rain was following her around.
…..
“Tyler?” Her voice dripped with sleep, eyes focused on the dark frame stepping into the guest bedroom. (Y/n) could instantly tell that it was him, moving closer towards the bed with the mattress that gave in the second his knee met the soft fabric. He laid down next to her, pulling (y/n) against his chest with a sigh. It had been a few hours since their run-in and her accidental confession, words both hadn’t been able to forget ever since.
“I’m used to chasing tornadoes, to speed after those powerful, wild creations that can destroy everything and everybody who stands in their way. I’m good with asking myself questions we currently have no answers to, because nature will always be quicker and smarter than us. But I am a fool when it comes to you, and I’ve always been. I accepted that I’ll never get the answers I’d like to hear, well, all until tonight at least.” She turned in his grasp, needing to look at his features the lingering darkness hid almost completely. Wordlessly, (y/n) waited for him to keep on speaking, to give room to the pain dripping from his words.
“I fell in love with you as a teenager, I tried to stop myself, knowing that you’re my best friend’s sister. It’s wrong and probably fucked up of me, but I can’t get rid of these feelings for you. I tried, really did, you met my ex-girlfriends, and I guess it wasn’t fair on them. They were a distraction, a nice way to pass some time while my feelings for you kept growing stronger. You’ve always been there for me, always been by my side. I don’t want to fight that when there’s a small chance of you also feeling what I feel.” Her body forced her to shuffle around, to move closer and to press a soft kiss to his lips. Both their breaths hitched in their chests at the electricity buzzing through their bodies.
Tyler chased her lips, needing to deepen the kiss while realising that this was her way of giving in, of telling him that she had been plagued by the same feelings he hadn’t been able to shake. Without letting go of her, Tyler rolled (y/n) onto her back, allowing him to rest between her thighs as her legs found their way around his waist.
It felt like a dream, almost. Something both had imagined and dreamt of for years, all while accepting that it would always stay like that, a figment of their imagination, something that lived and breathed with the changing seasons. Their tongues met, slow at first, testing out the newfound territory before giving in to the pull that threatened to drown them.
“I’m so in love with you, and I’m so scared of it.” (Y/n) confessed against his lips, words that made him groan while kissing his way down her neck. Tyler instantly found the spot that made her arch her back off the mattress, pressing her chest against his in search of more, of something else he’d be willing to give to her.
“I love you too, darlin’, fuck.” Her shirt was pulled from her frame, exposing her naked chest to his glistening eyes before his followed moments later. (Y/n)’s trembling fingers explored his abs, his strong muscles that tensed beneath her touch. Tyler allowed her to have this moment, to grow comfortable with this new sensation - all while he tried his hardest to slow down, to appreciate every passing second.
“We don’t have to do anything, I don’t want to rush you.” Tyler’s whispers left (y/n) smiling, unable to bite down the heat that found its way straight to her aching core.
“We’ve wasted a lot of time, I don’t want to miss another chance.” It was all he needed to hear before kissing her again. With his weight shifted onto his knees, he let his fingers pull on her panties, pushing them aside to explore her warm folds. Her bundle of nerves was pulsing in need, desperate to feel his calloused fingertips on her burning up body.
She got lost in the kiss, hands finding their way to his hair to pull on his roots while pressing her hips further against his touch. He mumbled something about her impatience, words she spared no attention to as he pushed two fingers into her tightness. A moan left her, a sound that was muffled by the hand she pressed against her mouth, scared to wake those who slept only a few rooms down from this one.
“Gotta be quiet, darlin’, don’t need your brother to kill me tonight.” Her soft chuckles turned into another moan as he sped up his movements. Tyler was teasing her, preparing her for his twitching cock and the way he’d fuck her to make a silent promise to them both, this was something that would last, something both had fought hard for.
(Y/n) struggled to keep breathing, pulled away from reality by his touch, the way he fucked her with his big fingers while rubbing against her bundle. Tyler parted from her to spit down onto her cunt, mixing his saliva with her arousal in an almost possessive matter that made her moan once again.
He could tell that she was already close by the way her walls fluttered around his digits, begging him for more he wouldn’t give her - at least not before burying his cock inside of her. Seconds before her high could drown her, he let go, pulling his fingers away to bring them up to her mouth. Wordlessly, she parted her lips, sucking his skin clean to taste herself on her tongue, a foreign sensation she couldn’t help but enjoy. Perhaps she found enjoyment in the way he looked at her. Perhaps she found enjoyment in the pride and love swimming in his darkening pupils. Whatever it was, it left her feeling eager for more.
“I don’t have a condom on me.” His words were panted, torn between too many sensations as her hands pushed his boxers down his hips.
“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean.” Tyler nodded at her words, telling her that he had been tested only a few days ago. She knew that she could trust him, that he’d never willingly hurt her, something she had never felt before - a newfound trust that left her nodding her head, telling him that she wanted this as much as he did.
“Look at me, darlin’.” Her eyes flickered back up to meet his, keeping her gaze on him while he aligned himself with her entrance, slowly pushing into her. For a moment, nothing could be heard, nothing but stressed pants and a silent whimper. Sounds that were tried to be muffled by a teeth-clashing kiss guiding both.
He moved carefully, pulling out and pushing in again to let her adjust to his size, trying to hold himself back from moving too roughly. Only as he felt (y/n)’s fingernails scratching at his skin did he allow himself to add more pace. Their bodies met over and over again, high on the feeling of his cock perfectly stretching her, nudging against her swollen spot with every thrust.
This moment was a consonance, a perfect blend of emotions and sounds sealing a deal their hearts had already signed. This was something for the long run, something both would pour love and effort into while trying to adjust to the newfound love and trust they’d need to share with others soon. But tonight was all about them, about the way their bodies fit together perfectly, how they seemed to belong together with their hearts beating in sync and their accelerating pants matching up.
“You’re so perfect, fuck, you were made for me.” (Y/n) could only moan in agreement, head tossed back, neck bared to his wandering lips. She moved a hand between their bodies, rubbing her pulsing bundle to give her the push she could already taste on the back of her tongue. Her free hand pulled him down, fingers dug into his neck to hold him close for another kiss drowning out the sounds of her intense orgasm.
Tyler kept snapping his hips, burying himself inside of her over and over again as her orgasm washed through her. She was trembling, begging for him to give in and feel the same intensity she had been a foreigner to until this very night. Just the sight of (y/n), buried beneath him with a love-drunken expression tugging on her features was enough to set him free. Tyler followed her down the edge with a groan, face nuzzled in the crook of her neck to deeply inhale her scent.
“I don’t think sex has ever felt that way before.” Her mumbled confession made him grin with pride simmering inside of him. Tyler lifted his head, he pressed another kiss to her slightly swollen lips before cupping her cheek with his big hand.
“I’ll gladly fuck you like that every single night for the rest of our lives, given your brother won’t kill me tomorrow morning.”
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miryum · 8 months ago
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☆ 18+ minors dni ☆
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who comes over to your house just at first to get away from Crime Alley and his parents. Your parents welcome him with open arms and encourage him to come over because they don’t want to see him stuck at home with abusive and addicted parents
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who doesn't think much of you at first – you’re just another person in his sphere of knowledge. You’re just the little sister of his best friend and someone else who sits at the dinner table when he stays over 
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who begins to notice you once you enter high school after him and your brother. His place in your family is becoming more solidified as the years go on and as his father is sent to prison 
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who begins to tease you when he comes over to hang out with your brother. He begins to ask offhandedly where you are and seems a bit disappointed whenever you’re out with friends or at an extracurricular
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who tags along to see all of your performances or sporting events or concerts and sends you a little smirk after each one, congratulating you along with the rest of your family
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who slowly becomes more integrated into your world and who you begin to notice – not as simply one of your brother's friends, but as a potential crush as high school continues 
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who makes sure to smile at you in the hallway during passing times and who never acts like the stuck-up upperclassman who’s too good for you (even if that’s how your brother acts)
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who begins to routinely flirt with you whenever he comes over. Snide little comments like “Y/n knows what I’m talking about” and “Princess, you want me to proofread your essay? Lord knows you need it” with that infuriating smirk
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who gets a glow-up over the summer between 11th and 12th year and sends your little 10th grade heart beating wildly
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who sees this and sends a simple wink your way
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who spends sleepless nights debating whether he should act on his feelings or if he was just being creepy thinking about an underclassman 
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who can never explain why he doesn't go on any dates anymore and stays stubbornly single even when your brother begins to date more steadily
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who won’t ever admit that thoughts of you on your family vacation to the lake that he was invited on, wearing your swimsuit, water dripping down your body after he threw you in the lake, enter his mind when he has his hand down his pants
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who cheekily asks you if you have a date to his senior prom, heart actually beating in his chest, worried you would just see him as a friend of your brother’s
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who picks you up in a handsome suit and tie, hair coiffed and jaw dropped when you hurry down the stairs in your prom dress, your mom gushing over you two. Your brother’s brows furrow slightly when he sees Jason’s blush and wide eyes, but doesn’t say anything of it
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who makes sure he’s the only one who dances with you at prom and brushes aside any glances of a senior and sophomore together. There are other sophomores there, but usually in a friend group comprising of both juniors and sophomores
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who corners you after prom before school, beginning the conversation all smooth and suave with “how’d you like being on my arm last night, sweetheart?” but by the end of the conversation he’s a bashful little boy, stuttering out how he knows he’s a senior and going off to college soon, but also really likes you and was wondering if you wanted to go out to a movie or get ice cream later
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who tells your brother he’s officially dating someone, but doesn’t say who. Never mind that you’ve been coming home more happy and blushing 
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who, once he turns 18, gets a little nervous that people will think of him as a paedophile. He worries that once he goes off to college, you’ll forget about him and move onto a “younger” man (even though Jason’s only two years older and is going to Gotham University so he’ll still be close by)
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who takes you out on the weekend of your seventeenth birthday (you told your parents your friends were taking you out, which wasn’t lying, per se) and treats you how he always thought you should be treated
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who books you two a hotel room that night and positively keens at the idea of taking your virginity
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who lays you down on the hotel bed and takes his lovely time with you. Whenever you mutter, “if my brother finds out…” he rewards you with a little swat to the thigh and replies, “I don’t wanna be thinking about your brother right now”
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who finds that sweet spot behind your earlobe and a million other sweet spots all while circling your clit over your underwear. “Oh, sweetheart, look at how wet you are for me,” he coos and when you blush, he kisses your cheeks and says, “no, no, it shows me how much you want me”
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who gets addicted to your pussy. He decides that your pussy ruined all other pussies when you clenched around him; but what really did it for him was that little whimper you made, murmuring out his name, when he first pushed into you, bottoming out
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who makes sure you spend the rest of the weekend trapped in his arms, his body braced above yours. He treats you to a bubble bath and kisses and cuddles afterwards, gently massaging your clit, another hand cupping your breast
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who drives you back home and finally has to confront your brother, who’s standing, cross armed, in the doorway of your home
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who carefully explains the situation to your brother, making sure your brother knows you were fully consenting, and even then, if there was any blame to place, it would be on him. Your brother finally relents on the condition that he would beat Jason up if he ever hurt his younger sister. Jason replies, “you won’t have to worry about that. If I ever hurt her, I’ll beat myself up”
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who makes time on weekends and in between college courses to visit you and who even “helps” you with homework (i.e. distracts you by pressing lazy, open mouth kisses on your neck from behind as you try to study)
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who spends even more time at your house now, an arm around your shoulders and kissing your forehead every three seconds. Your parents are much more chill with Jason dating you than your brother and officially think of him as part of the family
Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd who, by the time he’s picked out the engagement ring, your dad is already calling him “son”
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i2ycat · 5 months ago
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Trouble is a Band
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synopsis being in a band was all you ever wanted, and so when you were able to fly across the globe to join your brother’s high school band, you jumped at the opportunity to show everyone everything that you’ve got. singing in a band? check. performing in front of a crowd? check. falling in love with your brother’s best friend, who is in a complicated relationship with one of your fellow bandmates? check?
pairing park jongseong x fem!reader genre high school!au, kind of band!au, fluff, angst, friends to lovers, brothers best friend trope, slow burn-ish? word count 7.5k warnings implied sexual relationships (there’s no smut), kind of an implied fwb situation, liking someone who is taken(??), mentions of toxic relationships, bitchy character lol, cursing, kissing, nicknames (princess, baby), semi-proofread, lmk if i missed anything else lyn speaking i’ve been writing this for like 2 months and even lost sleep over this, the real ones know ☝🏻 idk why but this was much harder to write compared to my heeseung one… and this is not my best work, wouldn’t say i’m entirely proud of this i’m ngl so i won’t be too surprised if this flops </3 also this got me thinking ab jay and guitars wayyyy too much main masterlist
reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
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“Are the schools here always up a damn hill?” You heave out an exasperated pant, your legs burning from the early morning cardio you definitely weren’t prepared for, or even expecting for that matter.
The summer sun is so unforgiving that in under ten minutes, you’ve become such a sweaty mess that you’re furiously sweating from every possible angle; your uniform practically drenched from your back and underarm areas. A layer of perspiration sheens the expanse of your forehead and it results in you resembling something the likes of Abby from Chicken Little as individual strands of hair stuck to it like glue.
You look over at an unbothered Jake with his hair still perfectly intact and looking as if he had just walked out of Vogue magazine. You scoff at this.
The only things you and Jake had in common were having the same last names, a slight similarity in facial structures, and maybe a shared interest in band music but that was about it. You’ve had totally different upbringings up until now, with you having lived in France while he was in Australia, and soon after, in Sokor. You were apart for most of your childhood, only seeing each other for vacations and special occasions, like that one time Aunt Jung had her outdoor wedding in Barcelona and you’d met Jake and your mother at the airport out of pure coincidence.
But despite the distance, it didn’t deter the both of you from being as close as you guys are, still making the effort to talk almost every day, even if you were drained from school. You remembered nights when you would call up Jake just to rant to him about boys — yes, multiple — you were talking to while he ate lunch on the other side of the world.
However, other than just being brought up differently, you guys were total opposites. If Jake was known to be the golden retriever with his high energy, bright smiles, and friendly dispositions, then you would be considered the chihuahua — closed-off and somewhat sarcastic. You didn’t have a social circle as expansive as Jake's because you liked to be alone. People have always told you that you had this brooding aura about you, and you could never tell if they were complimenting or insulting you.
“You get used to it,” Jake simply shrugs, adjusting the straps of his bag in a manner that did not mirror yours in any capacity. It was ridiculous how not even a single drop of sweat was in sight. “Now hurry it up! If we walk any slower, we might actually be late.” He drags you by the arm, to which you inwardly groan, already regretting the fact that you transferred to a pseudo-gym of a school in the dead of summer.
Transferring to an entirely different school system definitely posed itself as an inevitable challenge at first, but even then, half a day passed you by uncharacteristically fast. It might have been because you were sleeping through the majority of your morning classes, unable to totally grasp or get used to your supposed mother tongue just yet, that made time pass seemingly faster.
That, coupled with the fact you never functioned properly in the morning in the first place thanks to your night owl tendencies.
You’d spent most of your life conversing in either English or French, rendering your skills in your own mother tongue to an intermediate level at best. You could, at the very least, listen and understand it to a certain degree but not speak it as well as Jake does. You were only able to communicate with simple sentences and the few swear words and phrases your father used whenever he was lecturing you.
A day before your flight back home, you’d even attempted to touch up on your language skills with the help of your father and a facetimed version of your brother and mother, but it was already too late then. You were a lost cause. You definitely don’t blame your parents for your inability to speak the language, but rather, you blame your own lack of enthusiasm to learn it on your own in the first place.
“Y/n, right?” You rub the sleepiness from your eyes away as your gaze averts to the girl standing in front of your desk. She, with her neatly braided hair and black rims, sported a welcoming smile that gave you the impression of a class president. Maybe she was; you haven’t been paying attention to anything the teacher said since this morning.
You slowly nod, “Yeah, I am.”
“I’m Mia, the class vice president.” Okay, so your guess wasn’t entirely off the mark. You were only missing a word.
“Hi.” You purse your lips into a tight-lipped smile, unknowing of what to say next and silently wishing that your brother would come get you faster. Why did his classroom have to be so far from yours? Did the administration really think you could handle all this on your own?
In the painful silence, you were sure that this Mia girl could sense the awkwardness radiating from you with the way she’s trying so hard to keep the conversation afloat, probably thinking that you’re an introvert that doesn’t like approaching people first — which if it was any other day she would’ve be right on the money on but all you wanted right now was to be left alone to your own thoughts. You were still suffering from jet lag and time differences, and those two combined ran your social battery dry.
“Where’d you transfer from?”
“France.”
“You’re french?”
“No, I just moved there really young.”
“I see,” she said, nodding her head as if she were deep in thought. “I’ve always wanted to go to France.”
“It’s nice there.”
“So, can you speak-”
Before she can even finish her question, a blaring bang coming from the front door reverberates in your almost empty homeroom, save for yourself, Mia, and a group of friends in the back with their homemade lunches. You almost dropped to your knees to thank the heavens for hearing your prayers as you watched your brother's figure stand there, taking a moment to catch his breath as if he’d just finished running a marathon.
“Hey, Jake!” You damn near winced at Mia’s drastic change of voices in your brother’s presence. You were sure she had a deeper voice just a few seconds earlier, even having the same mezzo tone as you do. It definitely raised a few brows, but you weren’t the type to judge people too quickly, and you didn’t want to think that about such a sweet-looking girl.
Maybe she just had a crush on your brother; whatever it was, your senses were telling you that they were currently not in favour of Mia’s presence.
"Oh, hey, Mi. I see you’ve met my sister.” Jake acknowledges her before turning to you and saying, “Come on, we've got to go meet the others.” He beckons you towards him with a nod of his head, to which you happily oblige, just thankful that you don’t need to go through the rest of lunch with any more of Mia’s interrogation-style questioning.
You follow your brother after handing Mia a terse goodbye, attempting to at least have an amiable smile on your face in the process.
Even if Mia had more things she wanted to ask you, she put them aside on the backburner for a later date. Instead, opting to just wave you and Jake off with the same friendly grin she always has on.
When you’re out of earshot, making quick work to slide the door close behind you, you make your way beside Jake in quick strides. “You know her?”
“Obviously. Why?”
“Nothing.” You shrug the feelings of uncertainty off, not having the energy to try and dig anything up on the first day of school. “You said we’re meeting the others?”
“Yeah, my friends, you’ve seen them. They heard you were transferring here and really wanted to meet you.”
From the number of times you’ve called Jake during his school hours, you were bound to interact with a few of his friends, mainly the three youngest of the group: Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki. There would even be times he’d leave you alone with his friends while he went for a toilet break, and when he’d come back, you'd already be three months into the storyline with your then-current situationship.
You were obviously excited to finally meet them after only having talked to them via Jake’s phone. Throughout the four years, you’d like to think that you’ve created a connection with some of the boys, given that they already know so much about your life and you know theirs. The older ones, not so much, despite being much closer in age ranges.
Out of the four oldest, you’ve only managed to properly talk to Sunghoon. It was when you were on call crying to your brother about the fourth boy of the month, and Sunghoon just so happened to be going home with Jake that day. He’d eavesdropped on your conversation and offered you some advice, explaining that he had a sister of his own, as if that gave him the certification needed to meddle in your affairs.
You didn’t even know he was with Jake, let alone hearing you bawl your eyes out, blowing into copious amounts of tissues included, until he started going off about how boys are scary and that you shouldn’t trust them so easily. It startled you, almost making you scream, but you were grateful for his brotherly advice either way.
When the two of you finally make it towards the other end of the sixth floor, Jake slides the door to his homeroom open, and you’re immediately greeted with the view of six boys scattered around the empty classroom, a few having acoustic guitars and drumsticks in hand. This may sound cringy, but it reminded you of that one scene from Lemonade Mouth, where everyone was in the detention room and just communicating through the music. Except you weren’t in a detention room, and instead of singing, mindless chatter filled the space.
You’ve always daydreamed about being in a band, even going as far as attempting to create one of your own, but keyword: attempt. You obviously failed at doing so in your previous school because nobody likes being in bands nowadays, and your brother, knowing this, instantly jumped at the idea of adding you as their newest member.
He’d already gone through the logistics a week before you even officially transferred, coercing everyone in the band to agree to your addition, but truth be told, it didn’t even take that much toiling since everyone was just excited to finally meet you, and they'd already heard about how talented you are thanks to Jake’s endless bragging.
“She’s here!” Jake announces, prompting everyone to halt whatever it was they were doing and immediately jump at the sight of you gracing their homeroom entryway.
“Y/n!” Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki are the first ones to capture you in a big embrace, effectively squishing you under their hold. Is this what people feel when they finally meet an online friend?
The mixture of fulfilment and excitement bubbling inside you was hard to maintain levelled, spilling out of you in the form of a grin that extended from ear to ear. You considered these three your babies at this point, wanting to spoil and shower them with as much love and affection as an actual mother would. It didn’t matter if you were only a few months older than them, that’s wasn’t the point.
When you’re released from their embrace, you can finally see the rest standing there with a cordial expression plastered over their features. You must admit, you’ve always thought that Jake’s friends were all attractive and had a relative charm to them, but it’s even more apparent now that you’ve met them in real life. With their tall stature and undeniable talent, you could only imagine the long line of girls waiting for them.
As you start to scan the boys one by one, you catch yourself gravitating towards Jay. He’s donning the school uniform, the same exact ones that the rest are, but he makes it so uniquely his by unbuttoning it to show the black shirt underneath and cuffing the sleeves until it reaches his forearms.
From the plethora of Instagram stories you’ve seen about Jay, you knew that Jay was into fashion and occasionally designed the outfits the guys wore onto stage. And as a fashion guru yourself, you applauded his impeccable style, finding yourself in constant awe of the effortless aura and innate ability for fashion that he possessed.
It also didn’t help that he was totally up your alley in terms of physical attractiveness. The others were pretty and charming in their own way, yes, but Jay had you hooked the moment Jake posted that photo of him fresh out of the beach, with tan skin and wet hair, looking like a damn Greek god.
Did you mention that you’ve also watched an unhealthy amount of videos of Jay playing the guitar? Because you have and it made getting attracted to him so much easier. Even through the screen, you could just tell that he was in his element, like he was born to perform as the passion he had for the instrument oozed out. Everything about him was just so mesmerising; you’re sure that you’re not the only one who sees that.
The timeline is blurry but from then on, you’d developed a small, insignificant crush on him, one that you didn’t bother mentioning to your brother because you were scared he would force you to act on it, even when you weren’t sure if you liked him enough to want to date him. You haven’t even properly met the guy at that point.
To you, it was simply an attraction. One that you’d get over in about a month because it’s what you always do.
“Hey, guys.” You wave.
“You’re awfully shorter than I thought you would be.” Riki says this from beside you, silently mocking you for all the times you’ve challenged him about his height.
“Of course you would say that.” You playfully roll your eyes. “You’re obsessed with your height, Riks; we get it.”
"Okay, back off, guys. That’s my little sister you guys are hogging.” Jake shoos the younger boys away with a flick of his hand, to which they dejectedly comply, making way for you to enter further into the classroom. “What was on our agenda again? Right, Y/n’s position in the band.”
“We could use another guitarist.” Sunoo muses, with Jungwon and Sunghoon silently agreeing on the side.
“Nah, we already have Jay and you for that.” Your brother shakes his head. “Wait, speaking of Jay, where’s Jiwon? You said she’d be here when I came back.” At this, all eyes shift towards Jay, who simply shrugs.
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t tell me you guys are having a lover's quarrel again.” Heeseung sighs. Your ears immediately perk up at the mention of Jay, Jiwon, and a lover's quarrel in the same sentence. Confusion starts to pervade your stomach.
Huh? When did they start dating? You thought Jiwon was only a close friend.
You’ve only ever heard of Jiwon, not once seeing her face in Jake’s stories or any of the others. All the information you had on her was that she was the same age as you and played the keys for the band. Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki mentioned her once or twice, but it was more of them complaining about her. Other than that, it was as if her existence evaded you completely.
“The third one this month, mind you.” Riki quips.
“It’s only the second week of the month, though.” Jake’s mouth gapes at the fact that his best friend is still willing to go through such a toxic relationship, or whatever it was, even when she limits the people around him until she’s the only one left in his life, when they constantly fight over the smallest things, or even when she encourages him to drop his best friends. He doesn’t understand what’s so good about Jiwon that’s got Jay under her spell, and he doesn’t want to know either.
“Can we just drop it?”
Your brother puts his hands up in defeat and says, “Whatever you say, bro.”
An awkward air of silence starts to permeate the air, and by now, you’re sure someone could cut through the tension with a knife.
You clear your throat before saying, “Is it okay if I’m just a singer?” in an attempt to divert the conversation back to its original agenda, which thankfully works because the others start talking, adding in their own thoughts here and there. And by the time lunch ends, you’re officially set as the band’s lead singer and lyricist.
Finding out about Jay and Jiwon’s relationship made you realise just how little you know about these guys, only having talked to them through FaceTime and watching them live their lives through snippets of Jake’s Instagram.
The warmth and familiarity you were initially met with made you completely forget that you only officially met these guys today. They were all, to some extent, still strangers to you.
A few hours of school turned into two weeks, and two weeks into a month. By now, you’ve gotten more than used to everyone’s dynamics and energy, though it was still a little too high for you at times. You were thankful that your brother was there whenever you couldn’t communicate your feelings and thoughts as well as you wanted to, and for the rest for being so understanding.
All of this was a dream come true for you, truly. Ever since your father introduced you to the world of music, you’ve dreamt of being in a band yourself, singing your own songs in front of people, and feeling the music course through you as you stand on the stage.
But no matter how much you wanted to saturate your mind with happier, less confusing thoughts, it always seemed to circle back to the same thing: Jay and Jiwon.
Over the course of a month, you’ve managed to interact with Jiwon on several occasions, each lasting around a minute. They consisted of mostly quick pleasantries, instructions, and the rare ‘how are you’s? She wasn’t cold but not entirely friendly either, which you totally get because it’s not like you were any different.
Throughout the majority of the breaks in between practice sessions, she stuck by Jay’s side, engaging in playful and flirtatious banter that the boys would secretly roll their eyes at. You’d asked your brother why everyone seemed to not like seeing Jay and Jiwon together, but he simply shrugged you off, leaving you with even more questions.
“Hey, Y/n.” You look up from your notebook to see Mia, who you’ve wrongly assumed was a pick-me at first, cheerfully greeting you.
Somewhere along the line, she’d bashfully admitted to you that she liked your brother. It definitely explained the change in personalities and voices whenever he was around, but it didn’t make you want to recoil any less. She was a good-natured girl who hated letting anyone down, so when she asked for a favour from you — one that involved you setting her up with your brother — there was just no way you could decline. If she wanted to date your brother, you would happily aid her in that.
Which brought you to a now-blooming friendship.
“Hi, Mi.” You managed to reciprocate her energy.
“You’re having band practice today, right?” She asks with a tilt of her head, to which you nod. A beat passes before she bites her lip in anticipation. “Is it okay if I come watch?”
From the way her eyes glowed with hope, you could immediately tell that she only had one mission in mind: to see Jake. “You’re not being very discreet with this,” you chuckle, endeared by her amateurish antics. “But, sure. Practice starts at 4.” Hearing this, she immediately clasps her hand into yours, thanking you as if you just saved her entire bloodline.
She leaves you to your own accord not soon after being called by the teacher, “I’ll be there!”
With twenty minutes to spare and no one to spend it with, seeing as your brother was busy with lunch detention and your three babies had a student council meeting to attend to, you decided to make your merry way towards the practice room with your notebook in hand.
Pushing the door open, the view of Jay playing the guitar by the window warmly greets you. You're awestruck by the way he strums the chords so effortlessly, filling your ears with the most beautiful progressions you’ve ever heard, like it was heaven’s sonata. You would’ve loved to just stand there all day and relish in the intimate moment he’s created in the dingy room, but it only takes a few seconds before Jay inevitably notices your figure by the door.
“Y/n?”
“Sorry, I didn’t think anyone would be here right now.” You take a step back, ready to shut the door close behind you, but before you could move even an inch, Jay refused, instead asking you if you could keep him company. “You want me to stay?”
“I mean, why not?” He pats the space beside him and scoots over.
Your steps are hesitant, somehow alarmed by the prospects of Pandora's box in your heart breaking open the moment you decide to sit next to him. But it was just a simple, friendly act, so what could possibly go wrong here? You push those thoughts away and plop yourself on the cushioned window seat, leaving just enough space between you and him.
“So, why are you here?” He asks you as he carefully sets the guitar back on the floor.
“Everyone else was busy,” You could feel Jay’s intense watch on you, and you couldn’t help but feel the burning sensation on your skin. Just being in his presence alone was already making you feel hot; your cheeks were heating up in the process. “How about you?” You just wanted him to stop looking at you, because you wouldn’t know what to do if he noticed just how he was making you feel.
“Me?” He hums. “I guess I just wanted some peace and quiet.”
“Oh, am I disturbing your peace and quiet? I could leave right now.”
“You don’t have to be so antsy. I’m not going to bite you, ya’know?” He chuckles, clearly amused by your response. “And besides, you’re giving me peace by just being here.”
“I see.” You nod slowly as you bite your lip in an attempt to get a better hold of your nerves. There was absolutely no need to be so nervous around your brother’s best friend.
“I just realised something,”
“What?” You shift in your seat to get a better look at him.
“This is the first time we’ve ever had a one-on-one talk.”
“Yeah, I wonder why.” You retort, and he raises an eyebrow at this.
“What do you mean by that?” His head tilts at an angle, looking at you with those deep-set eyes of his. You can try to deny it all you want, but the skip in your heartbeat is hard to mistake; it’s not a feeling you’re stranger to.
“I don’t know; you never seem to talk with anyone else other than Jiwon during practice, so it’s no wonder we’ve never actually talked before.”
“Wow, you’re sounding a little salty there.” Jay’s lips form a lopsided smirk after noticing the defensive expression that adorned your features. “Nah, I’m just toying with you.” The airy laugh he lets out does little to nothing to soothe the chaos that ensues in your heart and mind.
“For your information, I am not salty. It’s just a bummer that you never really tried forming a closer friendship with anyone else in the band.”
“It’s not that I haven’t tried." He mumbles.
“Sorry?”
He shakes his head and says, “It’s nothing.”
A comfortable silence engulfs the air between both of you before Jay continues, “Hey, since you’re so salty about me not giving you my attention, how about I buy you ice cream tomorrow?”
“First of all, I am not salty. And second of all, it wasn’t that-”
"So, is it a no?”
You narrow your eyes at him. “If you admit that I’m not salty, then maybe I’ll agree to it.”
“You’re not really in the position to be giving me a challenge, seeing as I’m the one offering you free food,” he bites down a simper. “But fine, your highness, I hereby declare you not salty.” He adds a curt bow for the dramatics, and you can’t help but roll your eyes in faux annoyance.
“You’re so annoying.” You huff out.
“If you’re going to be in our band, you’re going to need more tolerance and patience than that.”
You could feel yourself slowly letting your guard down in Jay’s presence. The playful and witty banter he offered you made you feel like you’ve known him longer than you actually do, and it felt nice.
It felt almost too nice to be around him. But like everything else in your life, this feeling too shall pass. He has a girlfriend, for Christ's sake. So you better make sure that it will.
With your head resting on your hand, you silently watched the busy street beside you. When you first came to Korea, it was summer, but now that the leaves were starting to turn orange little by little, you could tell that it was nearing your favourite season of the year — autumn. To you, everything felt just a little more romantic under the autumn leaves and the cool breeze that hangs in the air.
“Were you waiting long?” Jay’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you quickly shake your head. “Sorry, Ji wanted me to teach her this riff on the guitar.” He pulls the seat out in front of you to sit, and you take the opportunity to sneak a longing glance at him: tousled hair, swollen lips, an untucked collar. It definitely looked like he did more than just teach her chords, but you bite your tongue.
It was none of your business.
“Did you order already?” He flips through the menu of desserts.
“No, I was going to, but I realised I didn’t know what flavours you liked.”
“Sorry,” He passes you a sheepish smile. “I’m going to go on a whim here and guess that you like Rocky Road.”
You raise an impressed brow. “How’d you know?”
“I just know you like that.”
“We’ve known each other for 3 weeks, Jay.”
“Okay, damn. You really do wound me,” a hand raises to his chest, feigning hurt. “Okay, now you guess what flavour I like.”
You ponder over for a while but decide to just settle on the most basic flavour of all, “Vanilla?” His face visibly falters at your answer; you could almost make out a pout forming on his kiss-bitten lips.
“Wow, I could tell the amount of thought you put into that.” His sarcastic claps boom throughout the modest ice cream parlour, earning him dirty looks from the few customers at the neighbouring tables.
“So you don’t like vanilla?”
He crosses his arms and asks, “What do you think?”
“Ugh, this conversation is going nowhere; go order it yourself.” You groan out, rising on your feet to order on your own.
“Calm down, princess; I’ll go order it.” Before you could protest, he'd already made a beeline for the cashier.
Princess? That was new. Oh, who were you kidding? All of this was fucking new.
A feeling of internal turmoil starts to bubble violently, like a seething kettle waiting to be opened. You hated how he was so nonchalant about everything. And you hated how he unknowingly made you feel things you shouldn’t feel. It felt awfully wrong on so many levels, but this thing was just a friendly gesture, a payback, if you will. There was nothing wrong with hanging out with your brother’s best friend on a Thursday evening, even if you held an underlying attraction for said friend, right?
“Here, one Rocky Road for your highness, and one good ol’ vanilla ice cream for her loyal servant.”
“So you do like vanilla ice cream,” you scoff.
“I never said I didn’t.” He shrugged. “Woah, this might actually be the best vanilla I’ve ever tasted. Try it!” He scoops a chunk out for you to taste, which you politely decline. There was a certain line you didn’t want to cross, no matter how insignificant and innocent the gesture might’ve been. Maybe you were thinking too hard, but it would’ve been weird for you to share an indirect kiss with a taken man, even if he was your brother’s best friend. “Hm, your loss then.”
The both of you remained in silence with the dulcet melodies of Wave to Earth playing in the background, and it served as a pleasant companion to the overly complicated noise in your head, all caused by the boy sitting a few feet from you.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Jay’s voice pulls you out of your own mind, causing you to look up at him expectantly. “You have a really beautiful voice.” His warm smile shoots you in the heart, right where you know it shouldn’t. It was just a simple compliment, one that you’ve heard plenty of times before, yet it sounded so good coming from him. It almost made you want to keep proving yourself to him so you could keep hearing him praise you like that.
“Thank you,” You bite the insides of your cheek as a way to chide yourself. Just why were you so easily affected by everything he says and does?
“I really want you to sing this song I’m writing. I mean, I’m not totally done yet, but I wrote it with your voice in mind. It’s for the upcoming music festival.” He pulls out his phone and earphones from his pocket, sliding his chair closer to yours and offering an earpiece, which you cautiously take.
You straighten your back in an effort to keep yourself focused, not wanting to mind the way his shoulders are pushed up against yours, or the way you could practically make out every single feature on his face, or the fact that you would’ve felt his breath fan against your face if he turned even just a bit to the left. You needed to physically force yourself to focus solely on the music.
Don’t mind the confusion.
The sense of focusing.
The only sure thing is you.
So now, put it all behind.
I’m just going to walk according to how my heart beats.
Fatal trouble.
Jay’s voice fills your ears, alongside Jungwon and Sunghoon’s. You could appreciate their heavenly voices all day, but the striking lyrics seemed to be the main reason for taking your breath away. It sounded as if they were speaking to your troubled thoughts right in the face, slithering around you to tempt you into falling deeper. Deeper into what? You didn’t want to even think about it. 
"So, what do you think?”
“It's... it’s good.”
“That’s it?”
“What did you want me to say?”
“No need to get so feisty, princess.” He ruffles your hair, and you sigh, feeling the overwhelming defeat take over you because, no matter how much you wanted to fight the feeling, you knew that all your efforts would come crashing down anyway.
You were a weak woman with many faults, and being attracted to someone who is so painfully taken is the biggest one of them all.
With only a few weeks left until the school’s music festival, it’s no surprise that everyone has been on edge, but particularly so with Jay and Jiwon. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell they were going through a rough patch in their relationship right now, made apparent by the abnormal amount of distance between them and the lack of flirtatious banter filling the room.
Every practice session was filled with the suffocating tension that made practicing so much more exhausting, and Jake had had enough of it.
“I know you guys are having yet another lover's quarrel, but can you guys quit it? We have a festival coming up, and we can’t afford to have both of your immature asses fucking this up for us.” Your brother’s stern voice shakes the entire room. He was usually never the one to get mad at people, so it felt unusual to see this side of Jake.
“We’re not lovers,” Jiwon retorts as her fingers mindlessly hover over the keys on the keyboard. She tilts her head at Jay and says, “He made very sure of that.”
“Look, it doesn’t matter what the fuck you guys are or not; I just need you guys to keep it civil for the sake of our performance, if not our team.”
“Oh, fuck off. As if you guys have ever even tried keeping it civil with me,” Jiwon seethes, the dark chuckle of complete disbelief she lets out hanging heavy in the air. “Yeah, I see the way you guys roll your eyes at me, and I hear the way you guys bitch about me behind my back too. I’m not fucking blind, Jake.”
You could see the way everyone shifts uncomfortably in their spots, and you can’t help but do so too.
“Quit it, Ji.” Jay’s attempts at getting Jiwon’s rampage to stop proved futile, as it only spurred her on.
“Shut up, Jay. I know the only reason you refuse to make it official is because you started liking your best friend’s little sister over me.” As soon as she dropped the bomb, all eyes darted towards Jay, who only stared at Jiwon. His jaw ticks in what you could only surmise as vexation, with the evidence of it starting to sprawl across his features. “What, baby? Cat got your tongue?” Jiwon sneers.
“Jiwon, if you’re not going to contribute anything to the band, you can just go home.” Sunghoon speaks as he points to the exit.
“I was planning to anyway,” she says, picking up her bag from the floor. “I am so fucking done with this, and you guys are all fucked.” With that, the door behind Jiwon shuts with a deafening bang.
The eight of you remain frozen in your spots with the shock of it all coursing through your veins like a hot iron. You needed a minute or two to even begin to assimilate whatever the fuck just went down.
When she said that Jay liked you over her, she meant it as a friend, right? There’s no way it meant anything more than that, right? Why does he keep confusing you? Why did he have to have your heart right in the palm of his hand? You felt your head start to pound the more you thought about it, and you just wanted to escape from it all.
Life since you joined your brother’s band has been everything you’ve ever imagined and more. You were finally able to meet people you called your family; you were able to sing your heart away on stages the way you always wanted to; and you were able to feel alive in a way you couldn’t when you were in France. But it didn’t stop there. You fell in love — a little too hard at that — and now you were suffering the consequences of that.
You had a track record for falling in love way too easily with people, as evident by your long list of situationships turned relationships, so when you found yourself staring at Jay for a bit too long, you weren’t entirely alarmed because you knew you’d be able to get over it in a few weeks. It was no biggie, or so you thought.
After Jiwon’s official departure from the band, the overall atmosphere had lifted and everyone was back to their normal selves; Sunoo and Sunghoon were back to bickering, and Jungwon and Riki were back to hogging you. Heeseung occasionally joined in sessions despite the senior duties that called for his presence. Jake and Jay, on the other hand, were preparing diligently for the festival, working on the song non-stop. It’s because of that that you haven’t been seeing either of them lately, which you were thankful for because it gave you time to really think. Think about whether Jay liked you as a friend or in a romantic sense.
“You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you?” Mia nudges you in the arm. She knows you like the back of her hand at this point, given the amount of time she’s spent at your practices. It’s thanks to your cupid skills that your brother and her have been spending much more time together inside and out of the practice room, and despite either of them telling you that they’re just friends, you know better than that.
You sigh, knowing that it’s no use lying to her. “Is it that obvious?”
"Oh, baby, it’s written all over your face.” Her neatly manicured fingers push loose strands of hair out of your face just before squishing your cheeks in an endearing manner. “Talk to me about it.”
“Ugh, I don’t know.” She gives you a knowing look. “It’s just... that I liked him for so long, thinking that he was taken, and I felt so fucking guilty for it. Then the whole ‘Jiwon leaving’ thing happened, and now I’m all confused. Honestly, there hasn’t been a moment where Jay hasn’t confused me. Everything he says and does just makes me want to scream, ‘What the fuck are we!’ but I know he’s just doing it because we’re friends or whatever.
I mean, he literally calls me princess. How does he not expect me to not feel things? It’s so damn frustrating. I thought I would be able to get over these feelings before winter started, but here we are in the dead of winter, and I’m still helplessly pining over my brother’s best friend, like a damn loser.”
Everything you’ve been holding since you transferred here finally threatens to spill out, and by now, you just couldn’t help the tears from lining your eyes and your throat from constricting.
“Oh, my Y/n.” She embraces you in a hug and connects her forehead with yours; it only eggs you on to fully succumb to your emotions, and so tears become full-fledged sobs. “It’s okay, let it all out.” Her voice, along with her hand ministering to gently soothe your back, lulls you.
Until you’re left only as a sniffling mess, she continues to caress your back. “Thank you, Mi. I really appreciate it.”
“I’m always here for you,” She squeezes you one last time for good measure before letting go of you. “Now, we need a plan for you to get your man.”
“No, we do not.”
“You did it for me, so it’s only fair if I return the favour.”
“I don’t even know if he likes me like that,” you exhale for what seems like the nth time this month.
“Then we’ll make sure he does. Simple as that,” she claps her hand. “Boys fall for anything, so if he doesn’t already like you, he will anyway, because just look at you! You’re stunning, funny, kind, talented, and so so so much more. Believe me when I say that, Y/n.” Her features soften even further as she shares a look of sympathy with you.
Her words melt right through you, and you’d like to believe that you do hold the ability to make Jay fall for you.
Endless weeks of toiling had brought you all to this exact moment — d-day. You fidgeted with the microphone stand to try getting a better hold of your emotions because there was no way you would mess things up, not when you’ve all worked so hard for this.
The seats in front of you are filled to the brim, yet out of the hundreds of faces, you could only recognise a select few: your mom, Mia, and a few of the others’s family members.
Jay, who stood not too far behind you, could see the trembling in your legs. “You’ll do perfect; I know that because you were made for this.” He whispers in your ear, squeezing your hands in the process. You’ve never wanted anything more than to just kiss the boy for being so damn near perfect — everything you could’ve asked for and more — but he wasn’t yours to kiss, so you heed those thoughts away, instead simply nodding your head.
“Hello, we are ENHYPEN, and we’ll be performing an original song called ‘Fatal Trouble.’” Jake’s voice echoes throughout the school hall, with claps following shortly after, just before it falls back to a silent abyss.
Sunghoon’s keys fill the empty air before you start, “Can’t believe. You, in front of my eyes, everything is the same. But your smile is one I don’t know. Your pupils are like an abyss.” You shut your eyes, letting your emotions lace through each and every word you sing.
As soon as Sunoo and Jay’s electric guitars and Riki’s drums joined in on the melody, you could physically feel the shift in the air. It brought goosebumps to your skin watching people gape at you in awe and watching their eyes twinkle against the stage lights.
“Fatal trouble. It’s getting blurry. The memory of you is crumbling down.” Heeseung and Jungwon’s lower voice harmonises with your higher one, creating the most heavenly of harmonies to echo across the expanse of the hall. It felt so electrifying to finally be able to see the fruits of all your hard work. You’re happy you got to perform with these boys side by side.
By the time the instrumentals fade to complete silence, your heart roars against your chest like a lion so hard you can practically hear them in your ears. You all take time to thank the audience before heading backstage, where you all instantly huddle together.
“We did so well!” Sunoo beams.
“For all our hard work, I say we go drinking after this,” Heeseung suggests with a motion of his hand, to which the others instantly agree.
“Drinks are on me!” You chuckle as you watch your overly excited brother raise his arm like a puppy. You of all people know just how hard he exerted himself just for this performance, if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by, so you’re just happy to finally see him be himself again.
Cheers and hoots are heard throughout the backstage area until the staff politely asks you to leave. Before you could even follow the rest past the door, Jay’s call to you stopped you in your tracks.
“You did well out there,” he compliments with a sheepish smile, and it does the same thing it always does to you — make you fall even harder. You were so damn weak for him. “I knew you would kill it.”
“You did too, considering it is your song.” He steps a foot closer to you, and despite the hitch in your throat, you don’t do much to shy away. Jay takes this as a sign to be more forthright with you. He takes your hand in his, tracing circles with his thumb along the backside of your hand.
“I wrote this song for you. It wasn’t just your voice that inspired me to write this song; it was your smile, the way you made me feel, and the warmth you gave. So, technically, it’s our song.” The boyishness in his tone is obvious, almost like he was scared to admit this to you in the first place.
“I-…” You’re rendered speechless at his insinuation, feeling the familiar giddiness starting to spread across your body. “Are you confessing to me right now?” His deep eyes hold yours, staring at you with such admiration and intensity that you feel like you could cry.
“Yes, I am, princess.” His voice was nothing short of a whisper. You could see the way he eyes your lips, and so without much contemplation, or even hesitation for that matter, you take the first step in your newfound relationship by trapping him in a kiss. Further closing in the distance between you, your arms travel around his neck while his hands find purchase in your waist.
As breathless as you felt, you couldn’t let him go — not when this is all you’ve ever wanted for so long. Months of seeing him with Jiwon and hopelessly pining over him brought you to this moment, and you were going to let yourself relish the fuck out of it.
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taglist @enhaslay @channiesdarling @kim2005bomi @letwiiparkjay
© i2ycat 2024
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lowkeyerror · 4 months ago
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The Family Business Ch. 15
WandaNat x Reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Ch. Notes: Angst, vomit, mentions of phsyical abuse, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death
Summary: After effectively taking care of the Fisk problem, you struggle with the moral reprocussions of that action, while also trying to deal with the truth behind your mother’s death.
An: A little quicker update than last time. Again idk when the next update will be, but just know it's coming. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter it's a soft one.
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
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Your mind can’t seem to latch on to any singular thought. Instead they all run together in a way that makes you wish you couldn’t think at all. You’re to aware of what you’ve done. You can feel the blood, his blood, all over you. His words are bouncing off the walls in your mind. Your legs are unstable and everything feels like its too much.
You don’t get much of a say as your unsteady legs buckle under you, forcing you to your knees. You shake your head left to right as you feel the bile rise in your throat. Puking is the last thing you want to do, and the fear of vomiting makes tears flow down your face.
It's more than that fear. It’s everything that Wilson said before you blew his brains out. He was right, you weren’t ever a Maximoff. Just some fragile kid from a broken home, that wanted to prove themselves no matter what the cost. You couldn’t even be upset at the family, they hadn’t forced you into this lifestyle. This is simply the path you chose to feel like one of them.
You hear footsteps rapidly approaching behind you, you try to find the energy to get to your feet, but fail.
“ Y/n,” her voice makes you feel sick.
You can’t fight it anymore as the contents of your stomach begin to spill out. Wanda is by your side instantly. On of her hands moves your hair out of the way, while the other rubs soothing circles on your back.
Once it was over your breathing is heavy. Your chest heaves up and down, while your hands rest on your thighs.
“Was it true?” is the first thing you say to her.
“Y/n-" you can tell she was trying to reason with you with, to have you drop this for now.
You put distance between the two of you, turning to see her face, “Did you have my mother killed?”
Wanda takes in a large breath, “She was abusing you, every moment she had you. Emotionally torturing you with the death of your brother and physically putting her hands on you. That day when you came over and I patched you up, Pietro told us everything that he knew she did to you. We all agreed, that we wouldn’t let her near you again.”
You don’t know why you felt so bitter about it, but you did, “Killing her was your only option?”
Wanda shakes her head, “No, it wasn’t. We were going to just keep you away from her, but Pietro said the next few days she came to the school looking for you. She threatened him, and followed him to our house, that’s when Papa decided to put an end to it.”
“And my father?”
The woman sighs, “Once we told him who we were, he thought it was best for him to not be involved. He cared for you and loved you tremendously, but he was scared of our family.”
At the end of the day your mother was the cause of an abundance of your trauma and you couldn’t blame your father for not wanting to be involved in a crime syndicate. However, your anger was pointed at the Maximoff’s for keeping this from you for so long.
“Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?”
Wanda’s eyes meet yours desperately, “When you were younger, we thought it was inappropriate to share that with you. You were different back then and we didn’t know how you would react. When I left, I figured that eventually they would tell you. When I got back and they hadn’t I was upset. I wanted to tell you, but there’s been so much going on, Y/n believe me. When you asked in car, and I told you to trust me, I was trying to think of the right time. I just- I’m sorry."
As much as you want to be mad at her you can’t. She’s right, Wanda had been gone for over 5 years, how could she have known that they hadn’t told you. As soon as she came back there was basically a turf war going on.
“ I wasn’t supposed to shoot him,” your eyes are blank as they look into hers.
Wanda’s eyes soften, “I know little krolik.”
You shake your head, “But he brought up Lucas and I- he dared me to, so I did. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t my fault.”
You were spiraling quickly. Though you were covered in blood and had just thrown up, Wanda wasted no time wrapping her arms around you.
“I know baby,” she squeezes you tight.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to kill him,” you sob into the woman.
She scoops you up into her arms, “We’re going home.”
“But, what about-”
Wanda silences you, “Don’t worry about it. They will handle everything else ok, just be here with me.”
You calm for a moment before you remember that Natasha got shot because of your recklessness. You start apologizing again, “I’m sorry, Natasha got hurt because I wasn’t thinking enough. I was being stupid, I should have done better. I should’ve-”
“She’s going to be fine, malyshka. She's been through worse,” Wanda gets you into the car and begins driving home.
By the time you get home, you’ve fallen asleep. Before Wanda gets out of the car she gets a phone call from her wife.
“How is she ?” Are the first words out of Natasha’s mouth.
Wanda has to stop herself from crying as she looks at your current state, “She’s not well, I’m doing my best, but I’m scared.”
“You took her home?”
Wanda nods though the woman can’t see her, “ We just pulled up. She fell asleep on the way, but she might wake up when I try to clean her off. She was throwing up when I found her. She’s worried about you, I’m worried about you.”
Natasha’s voice takes a softer tone, “I’m ok detka. The bullet is out, my arm is patched.”
“Papa and Pietro?”
“We called in Bucky, we’re trying to get a room set up at your parents house that will be suited for your father to do the rest of his recovery there. Pietro, he’s shaken up, worried about you and Y/n.”
Wanda takes in the information, “Natalia, I know I brought you out here to be apart of this with me, but I don’t know if I want this lifestyle anymore.”
As Wanda looks at you, she can see the cons of this life outweighing the pros. You’d already had a rough life before the Maximoff’s took you in, and now they’ve put you in this position where things seem to be just as bad if not worse.
Natasha takes a pause, “We’ll talk about this more when I get home and when Y/n is feeling better ok? I don’t want to make any decisions without her involvement.”
Wanda agrees, “You’re right, hurry back to me moya lyubov.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I love you.”
“I love you."
Wanda sighs as she glances at you in the passenger seat. For a moment, her head falls into her hands. She wants to breakdown, but she holds it all in. With another deep breath she gets out of the car and carries you up to the room.
Wanda goes to lay you on her bed, but you cling to her.
“Y/n, baby it’s ok,” Wanda attempts to coo you.
“The sheets,” you mumble tiredly against her.
Wanda has tears in her eyes as she smiles softly, “ I don’t care about the sheets.”
You cling to the woman tighter in protest, and she doesn’t want to fight with you. Instead she carries you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter. You lean your back against the wall eyes barely open, but still able to see the woman running water for a shower.
Wanda turns back to you her hands tremble a bit as the grip the end of your blood and vomit covered shirt.
“Sorry, it’s gross,” you mumble.
She shakes her head,” I don’t care. Is it ok if I take this off of you?”
Your eyes open wider to meet hers properly, nodding slowly.
When she removes the shirt, her eyes linger on the scar on your abdomen from the day you left home. Her finger couldn’t help but to glide over the rigged skin.
“It needed a stitch back then, but I didn't want to see you in anymore pain. It probably wouldn't have scarred if I did,” Wanda reveals absent-mindedly.
“It’s my favorite scar, I’m glad I have it,” you find her eyes as you speak.
“Why?”
You look away from her, feeling shy for a moment, “ I remember you letting me rest my head on your shoulder and promising that the family would protect me."
Wanda frowns, “I’m sorry, we didn’t protect you enough.”
You take her hand, “I’m sorry I’m so hard to protect.”
“No, don't do that Y/n. We lied to you, I lied to you for years. Telling you truth wasn’t some Olympic sized task. It’s the least we could've done and it's what you deserved. Our- my carelessness lead you down this unnecessary path of pain, and I’m sorry. I should've done better,” you listen as Wanda berates herself unable to look you in the eyes.
“You weren't here, Wanda.”
“I should’ve been.”
You want to do something to give her comfort but you feel disgusting in your current state. Your eyes dart over to the shower and it's as if to remember why you were in this position to begin with. Wanda sees your movements and takes a small step back from you.
“Do you still need help?”
You think for a long moment, hesitation heavy in the air. Part of you wants to push her away now that you have your bearings a bit more. However a larger part of you wants the woman to help you in the shower
“Yes,” it’s breathy as it leaves your mouth.
Your hands guide hers to the button on your pants. She pulls them down gently. Wanda hesitates at the sight of your underwear. You attempt to hop off of the counter, Wanda’s hands find your hips to better guide you.
It's two swift motions as you remove your underwear. You stand before the redhead bare for the first time in this way. You stare at her waiting for something to happen. She sense the expectancy in your gaze and begins undressing.
Once the last of her clothing hits the floor she takes your hand and leads you to the shower. You enter first and she goes in after. The water against your skin feels good. It cascades from your face down your body washing away the gunk in the process.
Wanda doesn’t make a sound as she begins to wash your body. Her hands light and delicate against your skin. The only objective being getting you clean. Once you’re clean she spins you around and places a kiss on your forehead.
“I don't know how I feel,” you tell her honestly.
She takes a step back from you. You’re quick to grab her wrist and pull her back into you, “I just know that I want you close.”
She reached behind you to turn off the shower. “As long as you want me close, I won’t ever leave you again.”
You rest your head on her chest, her arms enclose around you once again. The sound of her heart beating calms you deeply. You could fall asleep right there.
“Let’s finish getting ready and then we can get in bed,” Wanda rambles against your head.
You nod against her and after a deep breath you both exit the shower. Once you’re dry and dressed for bed, you finally brush your teeth. You climb into the bed, but you’re wide awake.
Peace nowhere to be found as a million questions race through your head.
“I didn’t mean-"
“He deserved it, Y/n. He tried to kill papa, he had you beaten, he shot Natasha, he wasn’t a good man,” Wanda reassures you.
You shake your head, knees pulling closer to your chest, “Lucas is dead because of me.”
“That’s not true lisichka.”
Your eyes are quick to dart over to Natasha but you don’t move. Your gaze falls to her injured arm, and it’s yet another injury due to your carelessness.
“ I sent you in there and-”
“And I’m fine because you saved me. In fact you saved everyone in that room tonight,” Natasha doesn’t hesitate to crouch down beside the bed.
You frown, “No matter how many people I save, I can never go back and save Lucas.”
Natasha looks at Wanda for some kind of insight into who Lucas is to you, what he means to you.
“Lucas was my older brother, he would still be here if I hadn’t been so careless.”
Wanda disputes this, “You were a child, Y/n. Your parents should’ve been watching you.”
“I have this scar on the back of my head from where skull hit the concrete. A constant reminder that he’s not here and I am.”
Natasha takes one of your hands in hers, “ To me, it sounds like you went through something really traumatic as a child. Not just losing your brother, but also almost dying in the process. Going through that without the support of your parents makes it even harder to come to terms with.”
“Natasha’s right, Y/n. You’re a victim in all of this, and going through this alone was never fair to you. You didn't kill your brother, neglect did,” Wanda takes your free hand.
“My mom never stopped blaming me.”
“She should’ve never started. To abuse one child after the loss of another is a cruelty that only a monster is capable of Y/n,” Natasha’s words are a statement.
“But did she deserve to die?” You turn your attention to Wanda.
“How many times did she hit you? How many times did she starve you? How many times did she verbally abuse you? How many scars do you have because of her?” Natasha draws your attention back to her.
“Maybe she didn’t deserve to die, but she didn’t deserve to have that power of you. She didn’t deserve to torment you for the rest of your life. You couldn’t go out without looking over your shoulder, you flinched at every touch, and she had you thinking you were a mistake or a burden. You were just a child,” Wanda’s voice trembles as she speaks.
Natasha takes over again, “A mother doesn’t treat a child in the way that she treated you. That woman barely viewed you as her child, she doesn’t deserve your sympathy even in death.”
Your body begins to shake as the tears cascade down your face. You feel two sets of arms enclose you as you cry. They were right about your mother, she was an awful person. The more you thought about it the harder it was to think about anything good about her. After your brother died, you had no kind memories of your mother left. She was cruel, ruthless, and unforgiving.
After all these years, you never missed her. You hardly thought about her and when you did it was against your will. Her memory has haunted and tortured you since she has been out of your life.
“We have you, Y/n. For as long as you want us to, “ Natasha is gentle as she wipes away your fallen tears.
“We’re going to have to talk about this, with everyone,” you attempt regain your composure .
“We will be by your side, no matter what,” Wanda insists.
“Not just about my mom, but about Kingpin.”
Natasha nods, “Yes, but only when you’re ready. There’s no rush for these talks or conversations. With Dragos awake now, this problem isn’t falling straight onto your shoulders anymore.”
“Our main priority is you. Y/n, for once in our lives I think it’s time that the family business takes a backseat” Wanda adds on.
The idea plays in your mind briefly. A life where the most important thing wasn’t this job. No more missions, no more hacking, and no more danger. The thought would’ve bored you before, but now with Natasha and Wanda by your side, it seemed more desirable.
You nod, “Ok.”
“We love you lisichka,” Natasha gently kisses your forehead.
Wanda follows suit, “More than anything.”
The small smile plays on your lips, “I love you too, the both of you.”
It’s a brief moment as you swiftly place your lips on Wanda’s followed by Natasha’s, before quick passing out from the exhaustion of the day.
“I know that look detka. Everything is going to be alright, I promise,” Natasha says, looking at her wife’s worried expression.
“She deserves better Natasha, I have to do better,” Wanda keeps her own tears at bay.
“You aren't in this alone Wanda. I’m here, lean on me, together we can build something that Y/n truly deserves.”
Natasha interlocks her fingers with Wanda’s, “I love you.”
Wanda kisses the back of her wife’s hand, “I love you too.”
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Taglist: @natashaswife4125 @autorasexy @alexawynters @blkmxrvel @toouncreativeforausername @likemick @sgm616 @bstvst @dorabledewdroop @sapphic-simp4015 @natty-taffy @justarandomreaderxoxo @mmmmokdok @tarathia @bgwlsmahf25 @lezzylover @og-kxsh-420 @vanessashands @untoldreader @sxlfishbrokenheart @marvelgirlx @elle161989 @falloutboy-lover
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suplicyy · 19 days ago
Note
I NEED SOMETHING ABOUT FIRST KISS WITH KUROO BECAUSE I’M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS, and you’re the only writer i enjoy sooo👀👀 love ya!!
⊹ ࣪ ˖First Kiss⊹ ࣪ ˖
Haikyuu boys x Reader
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— Summary: Some hc about what your first kiss with him would be like!
— Characters: Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Atsumu.
��� Tags/Genre: Fluff | Gn!Reader | Headcanons
— Warnings: None!
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Kuroo Tetsurou
In my opinion, this is not his first time in a relationship, which implies that this was not his first kiss either. Even though his previous relationships may not have lasted as long as his current one with you.
But even though it's not his first time, it really seems like it is, because he's a bit nervous!!😭
He likes you so much and thinks you're so beautiful, that he can't stop thinking about what his first kiss with you would be like.
Sometimes there are moments when he would stare at your lips when you weren't looking, imagining what your lips would feel like on his.
His first kiss was definitely something spontaneous, and even though he already had this idea in his head, he didn't plan for this to be the exact moment.
HEAR ME OUT!! He LOVES watching you do anything, whether it's schoolwork, cooking, or even talking about your interests.
And he can't help but fall even more in love with you when you do something you like, the sparkle in your eyes and your bright smile make him all silly...🤭
He's looking at you with such admiration that he doesn't even realize he just said "I wanna kiss you so bad..."
After that he almost died of embarrassment, but at least he got to kiss you.👁👁
Bokuto Koutarou
This boy definitely kissed you within a second of you two deciding to date (if you were comfortable with it, of course)
To try to win you over and also understand romantic things, he spent a considerable amount of time watching romance movies and series, no matter how cheesy and cliché they were, for him it was all the same thing.
And he's definitely tried something embarrassing that he saw in one of these, like suddenly starting to sing in the school hallway while you were walking by.
Akaashi definitely put this on his list of his concerns for Bokuto, trying as much as possible to avoid him making a fool of himself in front of you and everyone who was there...💀
When you had your first kiss, even though he was very excited about the idea of kissing you, he was definitely embarrassed, very embarrassed indeed.
So it's to be expected that some accident will probably happen, like him accidentally hitting your teeth, or keeping his eyes open during it.😭😭
Oikawa Tooru
I think he's the only one on this list who I dare say has more experience when it comes to relationships, since it is actually canon that he already had a girlfriend.
So I think he would be a good kisser, maybe.
He would definitely be making jokes about how you want to kiss him so bad anytime you praise him or something like that(when in reality it's him who wants you SO bad)
Even if he made such jokes with you, Oikawa would definitely be very respectful towards you. He wouldn't be upset or sad if you're not ready for your first kiss yet, he would love you anyway!!!
But the moment you say or make some implied movement that you want to kiss him, he will freak out internally.
I imagine him being someone very vain, always leaving his hair impeccable and his skin always in perfect condition, then I think his lips would be very soft on yours.
After that he would love to grab any opportunity to kiss you again, he really has no shame in showing physical affection in public.😭
Atsumu Miya
If someone asked him if he had ever kissed anyone, he would say "Of course I has!!" with a smug smile, but the truth is that he has never even dated anyone in his life......
Every time Osamu remembers this fact, he always makes sure his brother remembers it too (which always causes a fight between the two)
The truth is he's a big idiot who's too focused on volleyball to think about anything else.
He really tries to come across as the nonchalant and charming one when he's with you, but the truth is he feels like he's going to faint at any second.
The moment you two are about to kiss, he'll be all red and a little nervous, but of course he tries to hide it from you (and fails miserably every time)...
But after you kiss, he'd shrug his shoulders and say: "I know I'm amazing," when in reality he had no idea what he was doing.
And get ready, because after that he'll seem 10 times more annoying than usual, wanting to kiss you at any moment and whining when you reject him.💀
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— A/N: IT'S LESS THAN A WEEK UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY YIPEEE!!!!!😆😆
I hope you don't mind, but I added a few more characters to mix it up a bit!! But if you don't like it, I can change it for you, just let me know!
I didn't review what I wrote because I'm very lazy, so please forgive me if there are any spelling mistakes, and if you can point out what they are I'll be grateful!😭
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reallykaz · 8 months ago
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— .best date ever! // matt sturniolo
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matt sturniolo x fem!reader
plot summary : when the cute guy in your class asks you out on a date, you’re more than happy to go. but you didn’t expect a fun time at the amusement park would end in the back seat of his car with your clothes off and his lips on yours.
content warnings : very mature themes (18+ MINORS DNI) strong language, small mention of anxiety. fluffy plot with porn at the end! first date things and matt being down bad for reader. tension in a photobooth ;) smutty car sex, oral sex and unprotected p in v (pls don’t do this!be safe!)
a/n : i’m a slut for a man who can drive. that’s it. also this is my first time writing smut so i hope it's up to standards lmaooo i really dk how i feel about this either… like always all likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated <333
wc : 5.5k
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"Fuck! I have nothing to wear!"
Saturday night and you were stressing, half of your closet was scattered around your bedroom floor and your desk was a mess with makeup and hair products. The whole room smelt like perfume, vanilla lotion and nail polish from the last two hours you’ve been getting ready.
It was finally the night of your date with Matt and you were beyond nervous. You’ve known each other since middle school but you mostly talked in English class for the past four years - just simple ‘hi’s’ and exchanged smiles.
It took you by surprise when Matt asked you out on Wednesday because you had no idea that he had any type of attraction for you. In school he was quiet, played a few sports and only hung out with his brothers and best friends. You didn’t know much other than that.
Stalking his instagram didn’t offer much
But you were glad he was taking you out. It was the first time a guy has actually wanted to go on a date with you and Matt seemed really genuine. You were excited for once because usually being with guys has always left you feeling used, empty and no good. But this was different.
Matt had asked you for your number too when he asked you out and obviously you couldn’t say no when he looked down at you like you hung the moon so you had been texting each other a couple times for the past three days.
It was only very casual but instead of asking for pictures of your tits, he’d actually ask about your day and would make you laugh with unfunny jokes. So yeah, it was definitely different.
After twenty hectic minutes later and your mom bombarding your personal space to ask about the date, you had finally picked out an outfit - cute and simple with a hint of sexy and hot. It was good and you looked good in it.
When your phone vibrated from a message notification, you knew it was Matt and your gut swirled with butterflies. After dousing yourself in some more perfume, topped up your lipgloss and fixed up your hair, you check your phone.
from matt🤍 i’m outside :)
You immediately go into panic mode when you hear the doorbell ring and you couldn’t have ran downstairs any faster than right now. "Honey? Is that your date? I wanna meet –
"Bye mom! Be back by midnight! Love you!" Matt drops the kind smile and rehearsed lines in his head when you’re slamming your front door and dragging him back to the car by his hand as he looks back in case your parents walked out, "Was I not supposed to knock? I didn’t know."
You glance at your door when you turn to him, looking up with a smile. "It’s okay, I just didn’t want my mom to start yapping on if she saw you, we’d both we there for hours." Matt nods at your explanation, forgetting about the flowers in his hand when he actually looks at you.
His eyes trail up and down to check you out, the way your skirt clung to your hips was enough to make his head spin and cock twitch. Matt couldn’t believe that tonight he was the one you were all dressed up pretty for and the thought made his tummy swirl. He felt more nervous after realising he was staring.
Luckily you didn’t even notice because you were doing the exact same thing. Your eyes trained on the chain around his neck before they glance all the way down to the rings on his hands and that’s when you see the sweet smelling flowers. You try to ignore the veins popping out from how tight he was holding them. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck
"These are for you,"
Matt holds out the flowers and you grab them off of him, fingers brushing against his as you beam. "This is really sweet, Matt. You didn’t have to do all of this," you couldn’t believe you were already blushing over some flowers and Matt just shakes his head with a smile, "I wanted to, don’t worry."
There’s a pause when Matt just looks down at you, bashful smiles on both of your faces and he liked the way your eyes looked more light with the sunset in your face. Now, there was tension in the air surrounding the two of you.
"Well thank you, really." Your voice was genuine but small, turning shy under Matt’s gaze as you avoid his eyes by looking at the flowers in awe.
"C’mon, let’s go." You look up and see Matt holding the passenger door open, "get in." He nods his head and you comply, leaning down to get in the car and immediately smelling his natural scent. It was nice, sort of safe.
"Where are we even going anyways?"
"Oh my god! You’re such a cheat!"
A loud set of giggles escape your mouth when you see Matt get more and more aggravated from the game of mini golf. He hides his own smile whilst shaking his head, focusing on getting his blue ball into the hole where your red one was already in, sitting nicely. "I am not!"
The fluorescent lights from the Ferris wheel was reflecting down on both of your faces, brightening the whole mini golf course in multicolours and it made the whole experience better. The amusement park was really busy for a Saturday night so when you both arrived, Matt used the excuse of 'not wanting to lose you' to hold your hand. It was silly but it made you smile anyways.
You then spent the next two hours holding his hand, laughing and competing against each other in those little mini game stalls that gave you a teddy as a prize. But Matt had won you a little heart keychain that already held so much significance to you already, you knew you'd keep it forever. He then dragged you on a couple of rollercoaster rides with the promise that you could drag him into mini golf afterwards.
Matt didn't realise that you were actually really good at it.
"I'm gonna get this next one, just watch." After throwing you a promising look, Matt focuses on the ball and you grin at the way his tongue poked out in concentration before he hits it with his little matching blue club and it finally goes into the hole. "See? Told you," his eyes light up when he looks back up at you with a smug smile on his face and you match his excitement, naturally wrapping your arms around his shoulders for a hug. "I knew you could!"
Matt's heart flutters for the 100th time tonight and he completely melts into your touch, wrapping his hands around your waist tightly. Your bodies swayed together in a moment of celebration and Matt could feel how warm you were against him.
"But guess what?" You both pulled away but you still kept yourself close when you look up at Matt with a playful smile and twinkling eyes that made him adore you, "what?" He knew full well what but seemed to find himself enjoying entertaining your banter in the last few hours.
"I still win," you let out a soft chuckle at his teasing glare, positively ignoring the way his simple touch made you feel so alive when you hugged. "Do you?" Matt questions quietly, tilting his head to the side that made you mirror his expression. Before you could answer, his hands were wrapped back around your waist and tickling your sides.
To an outsiders perspective, you and Matt looked like a young and happy couple that were very much in love with one another. The way your bodies just naturally gravitated towards each other so easily with either a simple touch or a quick glance seemed normal.
Matt was comforting. And he made you feel safe in every sense of the meaning. It was difficult to describe how you felt right now because you didn't understand it whatsoever but you knew you could be your genuine self and that's what mattered the most. You just had no idea how to tell him or if you should say anything at all.
"Ah! Stop! I can't breathe!"
Matt lets out a loud laugh, letting go of your body to almost keel over in laughter at the snort that just appeared in the middle of giggles. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment, eyes wide as you hold your cheeks in complete disbelief that Matt just heard your ugly laugh on the first date. "Oh my god! Pretend you didn't hear that."
"No way that just happened," Matt calms his laughter, looking at the way your cheeks burned red and smiling. He knew you were embarrassed but he didn’t want you to be, it was cute.
But in hopes to make you feel better, he quickly changed the subject.
Turning to grab the golf balls, he walks over to throws an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close. "C’mon, let’s go winner." You jokingly poke his side that makes him flinch and it makes you both laugh, "you’re such an idiot."
It had maybe been a half hour later and more smiles and small touches had been shared over some cinnamon churros. The sky was pitch black now and the air was colder. The amusement park was becoming more packed with teenagers and college kids instead of the typical families with their small children.
You could tell that Matt was more comfortable around you now in comparison to when he first picked you up. Conversation was easy with him, talking about anything or anyone and still finding it interesting. You learned more about the sports he played and his family and friends.
The conversations never expanded any deeper than casual and it was actually a relief. For some reason you wanted to find things about Matt through time and peeling back layers the more you got to know each other. You liked it better that way because it was real to you.
"Oh look! There’s a photobooth,"
Matt’s eyes looked away from you to glance at whatever you were pointing at in hopes you didn’t catch him staring and was thankful for the colourful string lights scattered above you that cleverly hid his blush. His fingers brushed softly against yours when you walked side by side, itching to touch you.
He had been stealing shy glances at you all night and kept thinking about how he could ask you out again after the night was over. But all night his anxious mind had tried to betray him and things like holding your hand needed a lot of courage to do despite the relieved feeling afterwards.
"You wanna go?" His hands twitched at his sides and when you look back at Matt with a smile, his mind went blank when you grabbed his hand this time with such ease. "C’mon," you dragged him towards the empty photobooth, quickly dodging the crowds of people in your way in hopes it’ll stay empty. "Excuse me! Thank you!"
Your hand was still holding his when you looked past the beige curtain and down at the tiny seat that was supposed to fit the both of you. "Oh."
Matt entwined his hand away from yours to slip past you and sit on the seat, manspreading and tapping his lap. "Come here," you watch in awe and the low tone of his voice gives you no choice but to lower yourself down on his thigh, fiddling with the ends of your skirt shyly. "Is this okay?"
Matt didn’t answer and just pulled the curtain shut and leaving you both under shitty, dim lights and away from everyone’s eyes.
"Are you okay?" His voice soft when he looks back at you, glancing at your lips and back to your eyes. Your heart races from the closeness and you just let out a strangled hum, "mhm." You nod.
Matt just gives you a cocky grin, "good." The heat between your legs throbs when his arm wraps around your waist and rests on your bare thigh to toy with the bottom of your skirt. He leans over to touch the screen, tightening his grip on your body and you could barely focus.
You were convinced he knew what he was doing and the worst thing about it was that it felt right. You didn’t want anything like this to happen tonight, if anything, nothing sexual at all with Matt because you were scared of losing something you never had.
But whatever this was felt different.
"You ready?" You blinked at him, an arm wrapped around his neck when he just looks at you. A look so simple that made you feel so much. "Yeah," you try to disregard your thoughts for the next five minutes of happiness.
Matt caught you by surprise when he squished your face for the first photo and just before the light flashed, you squished his face too. The two of you trying to smile at the camera with your hands wrapped around each other’s faces.
"Funny faces?" You suggested for the next photo, blissfully unaware of Matt’s hand coming over your head when he nods in agreement. The second shot is with Matt sticking his tongue out and looking at your cross eyes and your pout, trying not to laugh at the bunny ears.
Afterwards, you both just laughed together.
"Hey, look at me," Matt whispers and gently grabs your jaw to pull your face towards his, the small smile on your face disappearing when your eyes meet. Your skin turned hot when his fingers began stroking up and down your thigh lightly, making your skirt shift further up your hips. "Yeah?" You felt breathless.
Neither of you realise the camera just took another shot because all Matt could focus on was the need to kiss you. He was already half hard in his jeans just from you sitting on his lap and he could feel the cotton of your panties rub against his thigh. You were driving him crazy.
Matt really did want to kiss you more than anything and he knew you did too with the way you leaned closer and fluttered your eyes but he just couldn't. He had no idea why and it was frustrating, he felt like a complete coward. Why can't he just kiss you?
Your face drops when Matt lets out a frustrated sigh, dropping his hand and leaning his head into your neck to close his eyes. "You're so beautiful," he whines softly and you can feel him leave a quick peck to your skin which makes you feel weak so you look down at him in confusion. "Is something wrong?" You ask lowly.
When Matt looks into your eyes, you could see how his pupils were blown out and it was captivating. For a moment you're convinced he's either going to tell you what's up or kiss you when his lips part but nothing happens and you feel confused. "Matt?"
The loud speaker of an AI voice cuts you both off to let you know that your photos have been printed and to leave the booth. You let out a sigh when Matt immediately stands up, gently pushing you off his lap and pulling the curtain back open. You couldn't even focus on anything else when you follow after Matt like a puppy.
"Matt?" You call after him when you see that he was walking away, "Where are you going?" Pulling back his tattooed arm to make him look at your frown and you notice the strip of photos of you both in his hand. You couldn't figure out what he was thinking with the way he was looking down at you. "I thought we were having a good night."
In reality, Matt felt embarrassed. His mind was working in overdrive and wouldn't blame you if you thought he was an asshole. He was angry at himself for leading you on like that because that was never his intention. He really did want to kiss you and touch you without worrying constantly about little things.
"Let me take you home, yeah?"
Matt spoke softly but didn't wait for an answer from you before walking through the carpark and you once again had no other choice but to follow after him. You didn't want to end the night like this. You refused to.
"I don't want to go home yet," Matt hears you whisper and feels your hand pulling on his arm again so he turns back around to glance down at you. He sighs when he sees the dejected look in your eyes but the touch of your fingers trailing his tattoos makes his head spin and now he could only think about one thing.
"Get in the car."
_
The low hum of Matt's playlist was playing quietly when he drives into an empty carpark, surrounded by nothing but trees. Since the Photobooth incident, neither of you have talked and you're pretty sure Matt hasn't even looked your way. "Where are we?"
There’s a pause that makes you look at Matt properly. You knew he wanted to say something with the look on his face and you felt bad. It was like one moment the two of you were having the best night ever to being in awkward silence.
"I’m sorry."
You didn’t know why Matt was apologising to you because there was nothing to apologise for, not really anyways. You weren’t that much of a bitch to get angry at him for what happened earlier because it was clear there was more to it.
"You don’t have to say -
"I like you, okay?" This catches you off guard - even after all of the hand holding and longing glances tonight - it doesn't stop the fluttery feeling in your gut from hearing it out loud.
"I really really like you." Matt's voice breaks in desperation and you look at him staring at his front wheel like it's the most interesting thing ever. The light in the car was dimly lit so it was hard to read Matt's expression from the angle you're sitting at.
Matt doesn’t give you a second to reply, "and every second of this night has been like heaven and now i feel like such an asshole for leading you on like that because that was never my intention. I would never do that to you."
Finally, your eyes meet.
"I really did want to kiss you." The needy tone in his voice was driving you crazy and your body slowly gravitated towards his over the console. Matt never took his eyes off of you, eyes glancing at your lips when you speak. "It’s okay."
The way you’re looking at him now was enough for Matt to grab your face and bring your lips to his. You can feel the coldness of his rings on your skin when his tongue slips into your mouth and it makes you whimper, clenching your thighs together and reaching for Matt.
A strangled groan escapes his throat when he feels your hand pulling on his hair and he has to stop himself from dragging you on his lap. The low music playing in the background is drowned out by your lips smacking together and all of the pent up feelings Matt's had all night has just rushed straight to his dick. He had to pull away.
"Fuck." Matt mumbles and you watch him try to adjust his jeans, lifting his hips and pulling on the waistband. Your lips are plumper than usual and you slowly wipe them with a small smile when Matt looks over at you, "You're driving me crazy."
You know Matt's hard when you glance back down but you're taken by surprise when you really see how big he is. His rushed attempt of tucking it into his waistband was a failure. Matt knows you've seen how hard he was and it makes him blush. When he feels your hand trailing up and down his arm, it makes his breath hitch and that makes you smirk, "You're so cute."
"Shut up." He's smiling when he kisses you again and it does in fact shut you up. The kiss turns from sweet and tender to rough and needy in a second. Once you feel Matt's hands trail from your face and down your body, you're the first one to initiate more when you grab his hand and guide it between your thighs.
Matt pulls away and with half-lidded eyes, he looks down to see your legs spread and your flipped skirt covering his hand. "You're so wet," he chuckles softly when you moan, eyes rolling back when his fingers touch you through your panties. "This is what you do to me."
"Do you-" Matt stops mid sentence when you begin to kiss down his neck and pulls away to look at you properly, "Do you wanna go in the backseat?" You notice how blown out his pupils look and it makes his eyes darker in the dim light and you imagine looking at them every morning as you both lay together with the warm light reflecting through the windows.
Matt gets nervous at your silence.
"We don't have to, I don't expect anything from you if that's what you're wondering." He reassures, not wanting to say the wrong thing and scare you off. In all honesty, Matt didn't expect anything like this to happen when he kissed you but this was in the moment and for some reason it felt right. But he'd never make you do anything you weren't comfortable with. "I can just take you home if that's -
"I want to." You cut him off.
"Yeah?" Matt sighs with relief and he smiles when you nod. "Yeah." You mirror his smile and with a quick kiss to your lips, you watch him unbuckle his seatbelt and climb into the backseat with such ease that makes you wonder if he's done this before.
"C'mere." Matt taps his lap and you glance down at his dick once more before climbing over the seats to go to him. In your perfectly awkward fashion, you end up practically tripping into Matt's lap and he quickly grabs the back of your thighs to steady you as you both giggle quietly together. "Sorry." You whisper.
"You really are beautiful," The way he looks up at you feels so intimate and sincere that it makes you think that nobody has ever looked at you like Matt does and that realisation was scary yet so endearing. "I bet you say that to all of the girls you seduce into the backseat of your car," You joke with a playful eye roll and it makes him laugh.
"I really like you."
"I really like you too."
You can't wipe the grin on your face when Matt leans up to kiss you, his hands trailing around your body. "And you're the only girl I've ever seduced into the backseat of my car," he whispers against your lips before kissing you softly, the both of your eyes fluttering closed.
Your hands wander down his chest to the bottom of his shirt when your tongues swirl together and you can still taste the sweet cinnamon on his tongue from earlier. When you feel Matt's hands moving up your thighs slowly, you begin to tug off his shirt and he pulls away from the kiss to take it off and throw it on the floor.
"You too." Matt whispers and his hands are playing with the hem of your dress, looking up at you to make sure if that's what you want. Your heart is pounding when you lift yourself up off Matt's lap to take off your dress that leaves you in your matching lace set and when you see his eyes light up, it makes you feel better.
"Is this okay?"
"More than okay." Matt reassures softly and his touch feels ten times hotter now you're half naked that it makes you feel goosebumps. He leans up to kiss your chest and his hands find themselves back between your thighs and it all feels so overwhelming in the best way possible. "Can I touch you?" The way he asks makes you melt.
"Mhm, please." You beg with your head nodding and grinding your hips into his hand. "Please touch me, Matt." Your desperateness makes his cock twitch and he ignores it with a smirk, gently pulling your thong to the side and running a finger through your folds before finding your clit and that makes your thighs twitch when you drop your head on his shoulder with a whine, "Fuck."
"You’re so needy for me." He says so smugly, easily slipping two fingers in you and feeling how wet you are. You reply with moan, riding your hips when he curls it upwards and he can feel you squeeze around him and Matt can’t wait till you’re doing the same thing around his cock.
When Matt starts rubbing his thumb against your clit at the same time, you’re moving your hands down to his clothed crotch and feeling how hard he is. He groans lowly when your hand wraps around his print, "and I’m needy?"
"Don’t tease me." His fingers slip out of you to grip onto your thighs tightly and you begin to undo his belt and jeans. "Let me show you how much I like you, okay?" Matt lifts his hips up to pull down his pants when you drop to your knees, staring up at him through your lashes and playing with the waistband of his boxers. "Okay."
Matt lets out a moan of relief and throws his head back when you finally pull them down and take his dick in your mouth. He didn't think you could get any prettier but seeing you like this was heavenly – it was like all of his 14 year old fantasies coming true.
"Oh my god, sweetheart." You feel Matt's hands grabbing your hair and gently moving it out of your face so he could really look at you. You hum with his cock in your mouth and when he moans from the vibrations, you try to go deeper and you can feel his tip at the back of your throat and the salty taste of his pre-cum makes you choke. "Fuck. You don't have to do that."
"I wanted to." You smile sweetly and look up at Matt, watching the way he licks his lips when you rub your thumb against his swollen red tip and a strangled noise escapes his throat. Your knees are beginning to hurt but just before you could wrap your mouth around him again, Matt is holding your face and pulling you back up to his face.
"I really want to fuck you." Matt whispers lowly when he leans up to kiss your neck and just before you straddle him again, his hands are pulling your thong down your legs and toying with the lace on it. "Let me ride you." You whisper and Matt feels his heart race at the way you're looking at him as if he had no choice but to let you.
A small squeal leaves your throat when Matt pulls you on his lap abruptly and you both chuckle lowly before you're grabbing his face and kissing his lips as if your life depended on it.
His hands come up to undo your bra and when it comes off a few seconds later, you definitely know he's done this before. You grind your hips so you can feel his tip rub against your clit that feels so good that you pull away from the kiss to moan.
Matt's breathless when his hands grip your hips, helping you grind against him and feeling you get wetter by the second, "I don't have a condom." When he says this, you don't really think it through stupidly enough and just shake your head. "It's okay. I'm on the pill." This moment felt too nice to just stop and Matt just went along with it – obviously thinking with his dick.
When Matt finally thrusts up into you, the stretch stings and you've really underestimated how big he is because he already feels so deep. It was one thing having him in your mouth but when he's fucking up into you like this felt so much more intense and you couldn't tell if you were just really cock drunk or completely in love.
Probably both.
"Fuck, I swear this pussy was made for me."
Definitely both.
"It's yours." You moan when you ride your hips on his dick, pushing him down on the seat and Matt is in amazement when he looks up at you with flushed cheeks. His hands are trailing up and down your body, wanting to touch everywhere all at once when he leans up to try and kiss you. "All yours." You whisper and his lips are on yours.
The kiss is messy, hot and passionate all at once and when your movements gets faster, you're practically moaning into each other's mouths. The car slowly moves with rhythm and you subconsciously pray nobody can see from outside even if it's dark because it's really obvious with the steamed up windows around you both.
Matt notices the way your thighs begin to shake and the way your bouncing becomes quicker, "Are you gonna cum?"
You let out a mix between a hum and a moan, nodding your head when you feel your legs begin to burn. But just as you feel the familiar tightness in your tummy, Matt's holding your waist tightly and thrusting up so hard into you, it makes you cum instantly and you gush around him.
The music playing softly in the background is drowned out by your loud moans and Matt has a smug smirk on his face when your eyes roll back and your orgasm takes over until he feels his own. In all honestly, he was ready to bust the minute he was inside you but he had to make you cum first. It was a priority.
In your post orgasm haze, you don't even feel Matt lifting you off his dick until you see his cum spurting out onto his hand and tummy. "Mhm, fuck." Rolling his head back, Matt groans lowly and it makes your pussy flutter when you watch breathlessly.
The two of you are covered in a thin layer of sweat with flushed skin and neither of you care about the smell of sex surrounding you from being too high off of the pheromones. A part of you is shocked that you've just fucked someone on the first date but the other part is okay with it because it's Matt.
Matt. Matt. Matt.
"Did you really mean it?"
You blink to see Matt looking down at his hands on your body, tracing shapes on your hips gently. "Hm? What?" You swallow and he gulps, slowly looking up into your eyes, "Did you mean it? When you said you're all mine?" You can tell he's nervous when he asks this, almost afraid of your response, and your hands fall on top of his. "Yeah."
He hides his smile and you speak up again, "Did you want me to mean it?" Matt locks his fingers into yours when he nods, "Yeah."
You smile happily and lean in to kiss him softly, being careful of the mess between the two of you. It was a sweet kiss with a lot of feelings shown behind it, the type that makes you feel butterflies and never forget for a long time because it really meant something.
"'Good. Because I really want to do this again." Even after that kiss and the hottest sex you've ever had in your life, you're still nervous to bring up the idea of a second date but Matt's face just lights up. "Oh I'm definitely taking you out again. Don't worry about that."
He sounds cocky and it makes you laugh, running a hand through his messy hair and making it even messier. "I'm really looking forward to it." Matt pokes at your blushing cheeks with a small smile, appreciating the way you sound so sweet and genuine talking about seeing him again.
It felt hopeful.
There's so much Matt wants to say but now he knew there was more time. This definitely wasn't a one off thing and deep down he knew this wasn't just a crush either. He's not even sure if it ever was just a 'crush' because how could anyone just have a crush on you?
That was impossible.
"Does this mean you'll seduce me into the backseat of your car on the second date?" You joke playfully, holding back your laughter with a silly grin and when Matt laughs, so do you.
"You're an idiot." There’s a pause.
"But if you're lucky," He says lowly once you both stop laughing and you just tilt your head in response, "You'll end up in my bed."
"Is that a promise?"
"Yep."
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago
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Randomly thought of the fact that my father died so unexpectedly fast that when he died and mom had to drive home there was still ice from home in his yeti cooler cup
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lushaletta · 7 months ago
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I have a question??? Could you do Fred Weasley x older sister Potter reader who's he's friends with and like headcanons of their relationship please and thank you
in good hands / fred weasley
pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader
content: mild swearing, older sister potter!reader
summary: being harry potter’s older sister is difficult. you hate watching your little brother get hurt both physically and emotionally, but fred happens to be a great protector.
a/n: MY FRED WEASLEY DEBUT!! george is my fav but fred is so arghghghgh hot. anywayyyy tysm for this request and i’m sorry i didn’t follow it to a t!! i was originally gonna do headcanons as requested but i kinda got in the zone… i do kinda like this pairing though so i may end up doing hcs eventually anyway! also my bad for this taking FOREVER i’ve been madly busy… love u folks
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⋆ ࣪.  ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.゚ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖࣪ ˖࣪ ∗
Harry comes running into your room, soaked with both rain water and agitation. His broom is immediately tossed to the side and you can’t help but be concerned— you have a feeling you know what this is going to be about, and it’s not the first time.
“Harry?”
“So sick of it! I only try to help, you know? To make things better and no one ever gives a fuck! No gratitude or even kindness, after everything I’ve done.” Your face softens as he inches towards you, even being careful not to get your bed wet with his clothing.
“They’re still mad at you for losing the game? Are you serious?” You’re completely furious. Harry’s had the world on his shoulders since forever and his entire life is a tragedy. He can’t even play a school sport without being reamed for something that’s hardly his fault.
Peeling his jersey off, he crawls into your side and waits for your affection; the only thing he can count on when the world isn’t on his side.
“I tried to fix things, you know? Told Fletcher I was sorry but they’re still pissed, calling me a freak and saying all this crap about Voldemort.” You shush him and cradle his face in your arms. Your heart is breaking because how could anyone treat your baby brother like this, how could anyone see him as something less than precious?
His eyes shimmer but not with the sparkle of joy. They’re teary. “Fuck ‘em all. They’ll come around, Harry. They do eventually.”
It’s not fair what they do to him. He’ll mess something up and half the time it’s out of his control, and suddenly he’s public enemy number one. You’re usually there to help, and so are his friends like Hermione and Ron, but it can’t always be like this.
He’s okay after a while. You amp up the jokes and ruffle his hair and he’s okay. He has dinner with his group and you with yours. It’s a nice evening and all you can do is hope he’s forgetting everything wrong with the world. It seems like he is, because he’s tossing peanuts in the air and catching them in his mouth while Ron is laughing hysterically and Hermione is resting her hand on a judgemental expression.
“Oi, Weasley!” you say, and Fred whips his head towards you. “I’ve got something to ask. A favour.”
He perks up. You were asking him for a favour. He’s been waiting for his in since forever, but he wouldn’t let you know that. “Yeah?” he replies, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.
A quick breath escapes your lips as you lean on him, lashes fluttering and a little grin settled on your face. He can look at you trying to be all persuasive without blushing. He’s stronger than this.
“How about.. you and George look after Harry? I’ve been worried about him, with the whole dementor thing. And after what happened last game, I can’t just sit from the stands and watch him get injured again knowing I didn’t do anything about it. Everyone’s pissed at him.”
Fred softens. His mind races, trying to come up with the cons of the request. He comes up empty. This was an excuse to talk to you more and, well, he already quite liked Harry, so that was no issue. And with your convincing doe eyes, how could he refuse?
He’s taking too long to respond and he knows it, but he can’t stop staring at your pretty face. You clear your throat, prodding for an answer. “Huh? Oh, yeah. The lad’s gonna be in good hands, m’lady,” he winks.
The roll of your eyes makes him smile. “Better make sure of it, Weasley.”
And to shut you up, he shoves a grape between your lips and you smack him across the arm.
From then on, Fred and George made sure no one got in Harry’s way. Someone messed with him, they messed with them. The twins were 190 and a half centimetres of beater strength and poking the bear was on no one’s to-do list, so Harry was pretty much set. Well, not entirely.
All Harry really wants to do is sit down and catch up on the pile of homework he’s missed for Chosen One duties, but some people take that as being haughty.
“Potter. You and your godforesaken hero complex. You think you’re untouchable? What’ll happen if I sock you in the face, huh? You think magic will—“
“Fuck around and find out.”
Finnick Lewis turns around. He immediately backtracks. “Hey, listen, man, I don’t want any trouble.” Fred didn’t miss the nasty glare that Lewis sent Harry on his way out. He’d take care of that one later.
The boy doesn’t really know what’s just happened or why, but he’ll take whatever he can get and he’ll be grateful for it. He mumbles out a thank you before scrambling to his room.
You’d seen Fred’s effort in protecting your brother. He’d done a damn good job at it too, because Harry hadn’t complained much about students in weeks. You’re glad you at least took that load off his shoulders.
“Tell you what, Weasley,” you say nonchalantly, unwrapping a chocolate.
He hums. It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and he’s trying to finish up an essay. Lupin likes him just fine, but he’s definitely a tough grader.
“If you can make sure Harry’s perfectly uninjured after the next game, I’ll give you a kiss.”
Who cares about Lupin? Fred looks up at you instantly, suddenly feeling the velvet of the chair on his skin. “I’ll totally bite. How many seconds?”
You snort. “The kiss?” He nods. “3 seconds. 5 if I’m feeling generous.”
The essay is forgotten just like that.
The man moved the moon and sun to ensure Harry’s safety on his watch. Lewis and Fletcher had their tails between their legs after a few careful threats and actions to back them up, and Harry felt good. Safe. That’s all that mattered.
Monday arrives and the Quidditch stands are a sea of red and green with Gryffindor particularly antsy as Harry zooms around the pitch, Golden Snitch right within his view but not quite arms reach.
“Potter’s got his eye on the prize! I’ve got mine on too, Johnson looks impeccable in robes, I’ll tell you that much— Sorry, Professor.”
Fred’s holding his own, watching out for any foul play from the Slytherin Seeker whilst batting Bludgers. George is at his side, throwing them out and scoring right into Flint’s stomach.
“Wonderful play from Weasley! Not quite sure which one, but great nonetheless,” Lee says through the megaphone.
Fred’s just about to hit a Bludger into the opposing Keeper’s side, but he spots Harry in the corner of his eye being tailed by Higgs and there’s a nasty Slytherin Bludger coming right for him and he’s flying there immediately.
Harry’s so pumped with adrenaline and focus on the Snitch, he doesn’t even notice the ball coming straight to his nose. Godric knows that would leave a mark. Fred comes up and bats it away, nearly falling off his broom.
You’re watching from the stands in admiration and excitement and Fred can’t help but find you in the crowd. He sends you a wink from the pitch and a girl beside you seems to think it’s for her. You let it happen. You know who it belonged to.
Gryffindor emerges victorious, winning by two points and Harry’s crowd surfing, a big smile on his face as students chant his name. He doesn’t know how long the fame will last, but he doesn’t really care.
“You did good, Weasley,” you admit as Fred comes up beside you.
“Think I deserve my kiss now?”
In typical you fashion, you roll your eyes and pull him towards your face.
He thinks the kiss will be haste, but you melt into his lips and he does the very same. His arms snake around your waist and bring you impossibly closer and you relish in it. It’s embarrassing how much you’re grinning, but you can feel his smile too.
Catching your breath, “That was like 30 seconds. Now you gotta help Harry with his homework.”
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gothicgaycowboy · 1 month ago
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𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌
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𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 3.1k
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: you make Aemond’s longtime librarian fantasy come to life.
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 18+ no minors, fem dom, sub aemond, a cock ring, oral sex (m receiving), deep throating, role play (kinda), unprotected sex, creampie, no use of y/n, edging (m receiving), both reader and aemond are little losers, established relationship, pet names, embarrassing family dinner conversations, a cameo from aemond’s lesbian moms and aegon.
𝙖/𝙣: this was originally going to be the beginning of my kinktober but I didn’t even get a chance to write out any of my other ideas in time. also big thank you to this anon who inspired this fic. hope you enjoy 💋
Up until now you thought you and your boyfriend had no secrets between you, but as it turns out you were wrong.
It started a week ago, you and Aemond drove up the countryside for a weekend to visit his family for Alicent’s birthday. Everyone tried their best to make it up there for big celebrations.
After three years together you feel like a member of the family yourself, Alicent and Rhaenyra even refer to you as their second daughter. You feel more at home with them than you do with your own family — and more importantly you felt like they couldn’t shock you anymore. That lasted until dinner.
Aegon and Aemond had gotten into a tiff about something juvenile that you can’t even remember anymore. Words tossed back and forth at one another from across the table like a tennis match. Rhaenyra was about to interject when Aegon blurted out: “Did you ever tell your sweetheart about what you did with my rag mag?”
Now that caught your attention.
Aemond’s face became beet red. His eyes practically bulged out of his skull in fear. Aegon smiled cockily at his brother’s expression, poking a forkful of their mothers dinner into his mouth.
Alicent and Rhaenyra tried to object to this conversation as soon as the word ‘rag mag’ was tossed out, but were cut short by your boyfriend.
“You wouldn’t.” It was clear Aemond was attempting to sound intimidating when it was obvious to everyone else he was fearing for his life.
“Oh, but I really would.” You vaguely remember overhearing Rhaenyra warn Alicent to cover her ears. Aegon turned his full attention to you, his eyes locked with yours. “When your precious boyfriend was still shorter than me he snuck into my room, snooped through my collection, and ripped out the naughty librarian spread all for himself.”
For the first time since you had met him Aemond became shy. You didn’t quite understand why exactly. Your boyfriend was no saint when it came to sex. He was the one who suggested most of your perverted ventures thus far, so why had he never told you this story himself?
After the table was cleared and conversation changed Aemond popped outside to take a quick smoke break — the perfect opportunity for you to interrogate Aegon a little more. You slid beside him as he washed that night's dishes like the good little son he can be occasionally.
“What was all that about?”
He glanced up at you briefly from the task in front of him. “What was all what about?”
“You know…” you suddenly realised how humiliating it was to talk about sex related topics with your boyfriend's brother. “The magazine drama?”
A knowing smirk crossed the​ Targaryen’s lips. “Ah, you want to know why Aemond threw such a fit about his little secret being outed.” He placed a white salad bowl onto the drying rack before facing you. “Well there are a few theories I have about it — first and most simple of all: maybe he was just embarrassed to have his middle school perversions exposed to our parents. I’m not too convinced by that one though given the simple fact that you two have been fucking at practically every family event you have been invited to thus far.”
It was then your turn for your cheeks to heat up with embarrassment, the memory of being caught half naked by Rhaenyra in the shoe closet still haunts you.
“So that leads me to my second theory: he’s ashamed of you knowing about his librarian fetish.”
Your brows pinched together quizzically. “But that doesn’t make any sense, we’ve done way crazier things together than a little kinky roleplay.”
Aegon closed his eyes and let out a long exhale like he was about to be sick. “I can’t express to you how much I didn’t want to know that.” You smiled at him apologetically letting out a timid ‘sorry’.
The purple eyed boy rubbed at his temples before opening his eyes again. “Okay, I’m probably gonna throw up later and really regret asking you this but: have you ever been in charge? Ya know, taken on the reins while you two are…” He held his hand over his stomach dramatically. “Having sex?”
your gaze remained on the clean kitchen floor as you answered his question. “No…”
“Well there you go, now if you’ll excuse me I need to go drink this conversation from my memory.”
Since that night you have been on a mission: make Aemond’s fantasy come to life.
It started like all good missions did — with a bit of thorough research of course. Aemond is a stickler for details and you needed all of them if you were going to pull this off successfully. The magazine from all the detail you managed to pull out of poor Aegon was a Hustler and based on the years Aemond would have been in middle school you managed to comb through every edition of Hustler during that time until you found it: the librarian spread.
This took you to the next step in your plan: the outfit. There wasn’t really much to it, obviously most of it was pulled off the models body in favour of showing off what was underneath, but you focused on what remained. Petite framed glasses, a white button up (tossed aside on the desk she sat on but you figured she was probably wearing it at some point in time), black pencil skirt, stockings, garter belt, and most importantly no panties.
All of this planning and waiting had finally led up to today. You have a day off to get your shit in order and Aemond’s shift ends early. You are quite proud of yourself honestly. Who knew being a research nerd could come in handy in the bedroom?
Now it was just time to see if Aemond appreciates it as much as you do.
From your spot in the kitchen you hear your boyfriend's keys enter the lock to your apartment – your cue to bolt into the bedroom. Inside the bedroom your heart races, nerves suddenly getting the best of you. What if he didn’t like it? What if he thinks you’re trying to belittle him? What if he thinks you look stupid?
“Baby?” Aemond calls from inside the main hallway.
“In the bedroom!” Well there was no going back now. Fuck it. You press play on the playlist you curated and pose yourself sitting on top of Aemond’s desk, just like the picture.
The door creaks open, revealing the white haired man to you. For a second he doesn’t look up, good eye still locked onto his phone. “What’s with the mu–” His eye meets with yours and stops him in his tracks. The bag he is carrying falls off his shoulder. The way he blushed at the birthday dinner has nothing on the state of his face now.
A few long moments pass by and the two of you remain perfectly still. It makes the knot in your stomach worse. “Please say something.” You beg as Aemond remains gobsmacked.
“You– how did – wh – you look–” He babbles like a small child.
“Please make it intelligible.” you try to lighten the mood as your hands play with each other anxiously.
It seems to shake Aemond out of his idiotict trance. “You look like the librarian from my magazine.”
“I do.” You change your tone to sound calm and collected while feeling like you’re about to explode inside.
“Why?”
“I thought you might appreciate it if I initiated something for once.”
Aemond soaks in the vision before him giving you a swift up and down glance. The pit continues growing in you but you refuse to let it show. “Do you?” You ask, impersonating all those sexually confident people you’ve seen in movies.
“I do.” Thank fuck.
Aemond rips the jacket from off his shoulders, practically running across the bedroom to reach you. He pulls you up off the desk but before he has the chance to kiss you you put a stop to him. Both hands push his face away but remain holding it so he’s forced to look at you. “Not so fast there mister.”
His face is priceless, a perfect mixture of confusion and desperation. “From now on I’m in charge, alright? You are going to lay there like the good boy I know you can be, while the sweet little librarian takes good care of you, understand?”
“Yes, I understand.” His pupil dilates so wide you can hardly see the usual violet colour of his iris.
“Yes you understand who?”
A surprise smirk graces your boyfriend's beautiful face. “Yes, I understand…ma’am.”
“Good, now take off your clothes and get on the bed.” In a flash Aemond’s clothes came flying off you like you have never seen before. You knew this would get him worked up but you did not expect him to be this into it.
As the Targaryen’s boxers hit the floor and he hits the plush mattress you pull open a bag holding your secret weapon for the night. With the ‘weapon’ hiding behind your back you move up the bed straddling his muscular thigh, sitting your bare cunt directly on his skin. His already hard cock twitches with excitement. “Fuck me, are you not wearing any–?”
“No.” you say plainly, like you did this everyday. “Now I’ve got a little something special for you before I completely blow your mind.”
“I really don’t see this getting better than it is but if you say so,” He shrugs his shoulders. “I trust you.”
From behind you you reveal it: a black rubber cock ring. “I wanna see you squirm.”
Aemond’s silver-blonde locks splay out onto the pillows as he plops his head back onto the pillows. “You are trying to kill me, woman.” He groans.
“Oh you love it.” With that you wrap your manicured hand around his cock, stretching the black rubber around the base.Your boyfriend jumps slightly at the contact. “How’s it feel?”
“Wonderful, now can we get on with the main event, please?”
“Don’t forget baby, you’re not the one calling the shots tonight. Be nice to me and I’ll be nice to you.”
“Always.” He smiles. You can’t help yourself against his charms, flopping onto him to plant a sweet kiss to his lips. He wastes no time reciprocating it, taking the kiss from zero to a hundred faster than you can snap your fingers. His tongue slithering its way into your mouth. Your moans vibrated against his lips. Aemond was definitely the best kisser out of all the guys you had been with.
You reach your right hand up pushing it between the two of you, separating your lips. Aemond is clearly about to protest as you cut him off. “Spit.” No bullshit, just straight to the point. Based on the focused expression on his face the dots are taking their sweet time to connect in his pretty little head. Then it clicks and Aemond looks like a kid in a candy shop. He leans over your palm, saliva dripping down into your hand.
As the spit sinks across your palm you reach down to rub the wetness around his throbbing cock, stroking him up and down painfully slowly. Your other hand makes its way to his heavy balls, massaging them delicately in between your fingers.
You always loved playing with Aemond’s cock, but you were never allowed to take your time with it. It’s the one thing you despise about your boyfriend constantly being the one in charge. This was your time to truly tease him like he had been teasing you since you got together.
“Are you gonna be a good boy for me?” You eye him over the glasses perched on your nose.
“Fuck yes!” Aemond yelps with pure euphoria.
“You kiss your mothers with that mouth?” You continue your teasing, the sound of the shucking filling the bedroom.
“No but I really wanna kiss you again — ma’am.” You appreciate that even though he was struggling through it he still uses your proper title.
“Come here baby.” Like a man starved Aemond pushes himself up to meet your lips once more. Now was your chance. With Aemond distracted by the kiss you slowly pull away your hand from his sack to grab the remote for the cock ring off the dresser. Time to hope he enjoys this little extra surprise.
Bzzz…
Aemonds hips slam up into your fist in shock. “Jesus- fuck!”
“Now you know how I feel, huh?” You say recalling all the times that the blonde had used your vibrators on you.
The vibrations make his rod jump, shaking so fast your eyes can’t even comprehend its moving at all. God it’s hot. It had become far too normal for Aemond to watch you shake and your eyes roll back into your head with ecstasy but never you with him. It makes you feel powerful.
“F-feels so fucking good—” Aemond struggles to be coherent through the throws of pleasure.
Your hands pick up the pace, tightening your grip around him. His eyes are becoming more and more glassy as the moments pass by. Settling down till your stomach touches your knees, skirt (barely) coved ass poking out to the air. You kiss your way down his chest, leaving lipstick marks as you go until you reach the base of his vibrating cock.
Your mind swarms with ideas of how you can possibly torture him, but you decide against anymore prolonged suffering because of how desperately you need him in your mouth. You lick your way up to his leaking tip, keeping eye contact the entire time.
You run your hands over the sides of his hips as you suck the tip into your mouth. Preparing yourself with a deep breath through your nose, you dive down, deepthroating the rest of him into your throat. The tip of your nose touched the smooth base of his pubic bone. He always filled your holes so perfectly.
The sounds of your throat bobbing over him mixed with muted vibrations and Aemond’s moans make your cunt pulsate. You and Aemond are not new to dirty but something about this type of dirty got you going in a way you have never felt before.
“I’m gonna come—fuck! I’m gonna come down your perfect throat—” That is all you need to hear to pull yourself away from him (as much as you hate to).
Wiping the saliva from the corners of your mouth you press the button on the remote of the cock ring, turning the vibrations off. Aemond whines like a scorned child. A sound you're not familiar with from him, but you could picture yourself getting used to.
“Did you really think that I was going to let you come that fast? I need to make you earn it first, baby.”
He looks up at you, begging. “How? Please just tell me how I’ll do anything, I just need to be inside you. I wanna be your good boy.” His voice cracks like he’s on the brink of tears.
“You have to address me properly.”
“Anything for you ma’am.”
“Now, beg.” You tug the base of his cock into your hands, jerking him off like you were in no rush.
“Please…?” His brows knit together like a kicked puppy.
You halt your movements and grip your boyfriend’s length, not enough to actually hurt him, just enough to make Aemond whine once more. “God do you even want me to fuck you? I said beg.” You say while pulling the almost sheer white top from your body, leaving the skirt and stockings in their place though.
“Please fuck ma’am? I promise I’ll be good for you, I need to be inside of you so bad. I love your cunt so much, I need it around me. I need to feel you come on me, please?”
“Aw, look at that, you are my good boy after all.” With that you are fully on top of him. Hands planted onto his firm chest while you lean forward to tug your skirt up, revealing the lack of underwear beneath them. With his eyes thoroughly distracted by your bare cunt you pull his aching tip inside of your soaking wet entrance.
You had sex not two days before now but somehow the stretch of Aemond inside was still a shock to your system. Maybe it’s because you had never had him like this, crying below you like just being inside you was already the greatest pleasure he could experience.
“Jesus—Christ!”
You take your time adjusting to him, gradually sinking lower towards his abdomen. Your clit grazes the black silicone, alerting you that you’ve reached the bottom. Pushing yourself all the way back up to his tip you slam down as you speak. “Did all that begging make your cock harder, Aem? Do you like begging for me?”
“So much…” The words are almost inaudible through his moans.
“You don’t come until I let you, understand?”
“Yes ma’am.”
It only eggs you on more. The sound of wet skin smacking and whimpering fill your ears. No thoughts pass through either of your heads.
The rocking of your hips became more frantic, desperate. Your soft wet walls hugging your boyfriend like a vice. Aemond’s reach up into the pillows, gripping so hard they change from pink to white instantly.
Your mask begins to fall at the pleasure building in your core. Legs shaking at either side of Aemond’s hips. Just like that you pull the blonde up from his horizontal position, his grip falling from the pillows. Lips crashing together in a blur as sweat pools down both your backs. “I’m so fucking close, can I come, please?” His begging is muffled against your mouth.
“Soon, I promise. Rub my clit for me baby?” He obeyed immediately. His pointer and index finger caressing against your pulsing clit. “Fuck yes! so good Aem.” Your hands wander to his hair, like you are the master and he’s your little puppet.
You can’t hold back anymore, the sensation of his lips against yours mixed with Aemond’s precise movements against your bud send you hurdling towards your orgasm. “M’coming, come for me aem, do it for me baby—” Aemond follows fast behind you, crying out your name as he reaches his peak. His cock painting your insides with his cum.
You come back down to earth together, a jumble of words spilling from both of your lips: I love you, thank you, so good, kiss me.
You collapse into a puddle on your boyfriend’s sweat soaked chest. His fingers travel through your hair as you both catch your breath. As he tucks the lock behind your ears he finally speaks coherently. “So, are you gonna tell me how you managed to replicate the exact outfit from the original photo I used to wank off to or…?”
You smile, lifting your head to face him and his pink flushed cheeks. “A great magician never reveals their secrets.”
826 notes · View notes
withwritersblock · 8 months ago
Text
I Was In Love
~I Was In Love by Born Without Bones~
Author's Note: I think this may actually be my favorite song and one shot I've done so far :) oh also italics as always are flashbacks Summary: Luke and Y/N have a complicated history: Quinn is stuck in the middle of it Warnings: implied smut, swearing, some other things I probably should add but I'm not sure Word Count: 5,485 Luke Hughes x fm!reader
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He was only supposed to walk her back to her dorm building, but then it started raining. There was no way she was going to let him walk back to his dorm building with the pouring rain. So he stepped inside, it was innocent until it wasn’t. 
She wasn’t sure how it happened but his lips were sucking the skin right above her collarbone as his hands were massaging her breast through the lace of her bra. She panted hard as she pulled her fingers through the thickness of his curls. 
He lifted his head and looked down towards her, a smile on his lips as he kissed her urgently. “Is this okay?” he asked as he looked deeply into her eyes.
“Very,” she muttered before she sealed her lips over his once more. She tugged at the hem of his black button up. He stood up as he began unbuttoning it, a wide toothy grin on his lips as he looked over her gorgeous frame. She bit her lip excitedly as he leaned towards her again, the shirt completely unbuttoned, his muscles in full view. He kissed her lips briefly before he flung the shirt away from his body.
Her hands wrapped around the base of his neck, running her fingers through his curls as he kept one hand beside her head as he was holding himself up and his other hand was gripping her hip.  He slowly pulled his lips from hers, meeting her gaze for a brief second as he began to trail wet kisses from her jawline and lower and lower on her body. He wanted to taste every part of her and she wanted to feel his tongue on every single part of her body. 
The rest of the night went by in a blurr. She never thought that her longest friend, her best friend, would be in her bed doing things she could only allow her mind to go. But he did and it was the best sex she ever had.
She woke up to see him already awake and staring towards the ceiling. She smiled softly as she looked towards him, but the frown on his lips slipped the smile off of hers instantly.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she rubbed her hand across her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he stood up searching the room for his shirt and pants that he came into her room wearing. His boxers the only thing covering his frame, “We were drunk, we shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry,” 
“Well yeah but what if we could be-”
He pulled his jeans up his frame, quickly buttoning them as he avoided her gaze. “You’re the last person I wanted to have a drunken hookup with, I’m sorry.” he said while shaking his head. He picked his shirt up from the floor as he covered his frame, “Can we talk about this later? I’m running late for practice,” he offered as he quickly slipped on his shoes and left the dorm room.
She sat up straight, feeling her eyes well up in tears. It was as if her heart completely shattered at that moment. All she has ever wanted was to be something more with Luke. She was madly in love with him and maybe that was her turning point, last night. She thought maybe that meant he was in love with her too.
That was five months ago. They never spoke about it again, rarely saw each other again. Luke had moved to New Jersey to pursue his dream of playing in the NHL. They only briefly saw each other during passing at school before he left. She avoided him the entire time and it felt like he was avoiding her too.
Except today was the first day that she was going to see him again. A few years ago, the older Hughes brother’s bought the lakehouse that was directly next to their longest family friends growing up. Y/N and her family. She was driving her own car towards her lakehouse, like she’s done since she was sixteen. Except the entire time she was filled with dread as her boyfriend, Kyle, was sitting in the passenger seat beside her. 
They had only been together for three months but her parents agreed to let him join and she was excited to spend the time with Kyle but also hating the idea that she would have to see Luke and Kyle in the same room.
She nervously tapped her fingers against the steering wheel as they pulled into her spot in the garage as it was big enough to hold two spots. 
“So these guys that own the place next door, are we going to be seeing them a lot?” Kyle asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt. Y/N widened her eyes slightly as she forced a smile.
“They should be inside right now actually,” Y/N mumbled as she reluctantly unbuckled her seatbelt. She didn’t want to see Luke again, except every part of her body felt weak knowing he was only a few doors away. 
“Good, I mean it’s good to meet them now,” he muttered as he pushed the passenger door open and climbed out of the car. She followed in pursuit. He waited for her at the door to enter her house with a kind smile. She returned it as she wrapped her arms around his chest giving him a quick hug.
“I’m excited to spend the next few weeks with you,” she mumbled against her chest. He kissed the side of her head before he pulled away. They stepped inside the house, “Can you actually put our suitcases and stuff in my room, right over there?” she asked, suddenly wanting to see the brothers by herself first. 
Kyle nodded excitedly before he stepped out of the door towards the car again. Y/N took a deep breath as she walked through the hallway leading towards her kitchen. 
The three boys were hanging out around the kitchen island. Quinn was sitting on a barstool chair holding a seltzer against his lips. Jack was sitting on the countertop staring at his phone. Luke was leaning against the countertop as he was snacking on some of the chips her mother probably set up for them.
“You guys do realize your house is next door right?” she said as she walked towards the kitchen.
Quinn turned around and smiled widely when he saw her walking towards the three of them. Jack hopped off of the counter as he chuckled. Luke turned his gaze towards her and looked as if he saw a ghost. He stayed frozen as he watched her walk towards them.
“Your mom buys the best snacks,” Quinn said excitedly as he engulfed her in a tight hug. “How’ve you been?” he asked as he rested his hand onto her upper arm, surveying her features. Jack jogged towards her hugging her tightly, she laughed as she rocked back and forth with him.
“I’ve been doing good, how are you guys?” she said as Jack pulled away. She glanced towards Luke, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of her since she stepped inside the house.
“Off season started a bit early but otherwise we’re great, ready for some sun,” Quinn muttered as he pulled Y/N to his side again, Quinn looked towards Luke for a few seconds, “Lukey, are you going to say hi?” Quinn offered tilting his head to the side.
Luke shook his head slightly as he stood up from his leaning position and he took a deep breath as he began walking towards her and Quinn slowly.
“Well, actually I should go check on Kyle. Make sure he didn’t get lost,” she slipped from Quinn’s grasp as she started walking away from them.
“Kyle?” Luke let out. Y/N spun around to meet Luke’s gaze. She widened her eyes as she nodded.
“My boyfriend? Did my mom not tell you guys he was joining us for a few weeks out here?” she offered.
“Y/N?” Kyle called out from the back hallway. She forced a smile as she searched down the hall for him.
“Hey baby,” she said as she stepped into her bedroom, her voice echoing into the kitchen.
“Kyle?” Jack let out barely above a whisper, his face scrunched up in disgust. “Did you know she had a boyfriend?” Jack pointed his question to Luke. Luke crossed his arms over his chest as he shook his head. Jack stared towards him furrowing his eyebrows harshly, “Why are you acting weird?” 
“I’m not,” he mumbled before he started shoving more chips in his mouth. Quinn and Jack shared a look before they decided to drop it. 
Y/N and Kyle walked from the hallway together side by side. Hearing his heavy footsteps, Luke kept his gaze on the sour cream and onion chips in front of him as he continued to snack. Y/N nervously wrapped her arm around Kyle as she walked towards the kitchen.
“Kyle, these are the boys,” she muttered motioning towards them, “That’s Quinn, Jack, and that’s L-Luke,” she pointed out each of the guys individually. Quinn and Jack walked towards the pair, each of them forcing a smile. 
“Nice to meet you,” Quinn offered his hand and Kyle gladly took it. Kyle offered his hand towards Jack and he reluctantly took the handshake. 
Luke leaned upward from his leaning position as he slowly walked towards the small group. Y/N looked towards him, their eyes meeting for the first time in months. Her breath caught in her throat as she forced her gaze to meet Kyle. 
Kyle offers his hand to Luke and Luke shakes his hand with a polite smile. “You go to UMich?” Luke asked as he rested his hands on his hips. 
Kyle nodded, “Yeah, I’m on the wrestling team,” he smiled as he spoke. 
“That’s sick,” Quinn offered as he crossed his arms over his chest. 
The small group continued to talk to one another beside Luke. He kept watching Y/N, his longest friend, his best friend. The woman he loved, in a relationship with someone else. The last time they hung out crossed his mind, like it did a thousand times a day. 
He freaked out. He freaked out when he woke up with her back pressed against his chest and their legs entangled together. His heart swelled with so much happiness as he looked at her sleeping beside him that morning, except every other part of his body resorted to panic. 
His eyes meet Y/N’s gaze, scanning her features for any sign that she thinks about that night too. She clenched her jaw before she turned her gaze back to Quinn. Luke pulled his lips between his teeth as he dropped his gaze to the floor. 
“I’m going to go unpack my stuff,” Luke let out as his gaze met each person in the small room. Quinn pulled his head back as he let out a breathy chuckle. 
“You never unpack when we come here,” Quinn offered.
“Feel like using my dresser for once,” he said with a simple shrug before glancing towards Y/N one more time before he started walking out of the kitchen. 
“We should probably unpack too,” Kyle said as he rested his hand on her hip as he held her possessively to his side. Y/N nodded as the pair walked back towards her room, she spun her gaze around towards the back door that Luke walked out of.
Quinn and Jack looked towards each other awkwardly as they both started walking out of the back door. “They’re acting weird, right?” Jack asked.
“Very,” Quinn shot back as they walked out of the house back towards their own.
After another twenty minutes Quinn and Jack both barged into Luke’s room to see him actually unpacking his clothes and putting them into his dresser and closet. He had soft country music playing as he was pacing around the room putting things in random spots.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked as he watched his younger brother. Luke only hummed as a reply as he added his hoodies to a coat hanger. “Are you sure? You and Y/N never shut up when you two are together.” Jack observed. 
“We haven’t really talked these past few months,” he said as he walked towards his closet with the six hoodies he brought with him. 
“You guys used to never go a day without at least calling each other,” Quinn mumbled. 
Luke shrugged, “Things change,” he said keeping his gaze low and away from his brothers bombarding him with questions.
“What things?” Jack muttered. Luke shrugged his shoulders again.
Quinn furrowed his eyebrows harshly, “What, you guys hook up or something?” he asked teasingly, chuckling nervously.
Luke froze, his entire body stuck as he slowly met Quinn’s gaze for a few seconds before he shook his head. “No,” he let out barely above a whisper. He dropped his gaze again as his cheeks turned bright red. 
Jack’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open as he shoved Quinn to the side. “When?!” Jack asked as he jumped up excitedly. 
“I said we didn’t,” Luke said as he nervously ran his hand across his chin. 
Quinn smiled widely, “Yeah but you're a horrible liar, Lukey. What happened? Was it bad or something?” 
It was the opposite. It was probably the best sex he’s ever had. It made him realize how much love he actually had for her as they didn’t just hook up. It felt like the start of something, a new chapter. A chapter where they were madly in love with one another.
“What? No,” he defended as he rolled his eyes.
“Then what happened?” Jack pressed.
Luke sighed as he shook his head, “I don’t know, I asked if we could talk about it later and we never did,” he took another deep breath.
“When did you guys-?” Quinn trailed off.
Luke threw his hands to the side, not wanting to talk about it any longer, “February, her sorority had some Valentine’s Day event we went to together. I walked her back to her dorm and we hooked up. Are you guys done asking questions?”
“No, dude, why didn’t you guys talk again?”
Luke clenched his jaw as he shook his head. His brothers were right, he was an awful liar. “I freaked out, okay?” he took a deep breath, “She’s my best friend and instead of telling her how I felt, I had sex with her while we were drunk. That’s a dickhead move. I just didn’t know what to say,”
“What’d you freak out about?” Jack asked.
“Everything was going to be different with her,” he let out while shaking his head, “I didn’t want to lose her, if I fucked things up and I fucked things up anyway. Can we please stop talking about it? I don’t want to be thinking about it while we all on the boat later,”
~~~
It was nine at night and the sun was already down but they were still hanging out on the boat. The music was loud to the point where you could only hear the person next to each other talk. Her parents were sitting and talking with Quinn and Jack as Ellen and Jim were talking with Luke. Y/N and Kyle were in their own world. 
Except every time Luke spoke, Y/N felt her heart flutter. She missed him, she missed him so much that it was physically painful. Her chest would ache hard at the idea of not talking with him.
Y/N kept her gaze on Luke, discreetly. “You okay?” Kyle whispered into her ear, pulling her gaze towards him. She nodded as she leaned towards him, kissing him briefly.
Luke was tuning out whatever his mom and dad were talking about as he saw Y/N kissing Kyle. He felt as though his heart shattered. He clenched his jaw as he dropped his gaze towards his lap. Quinn glanced towards Y/N briefly before he looked towards his youngest brother. He clenched his jaw as he shook his head. 
“You know,” her mother leaned towards Quinn, “I always thought Y/N and Luke would’ve ended up together.” Quinn's eyes widened as he looked towards her, “It just seems like they are growing apart. Breaks my heart,” she said as she tilted her head to the side.
“You don’t like Kyle?” Quinn asked, and she shrugged.
“He’s a sweet boy. He’s just not our Luke,” 
“I think we all thought they were going to end up together,” Quinn whispered towards her and she nodded. 
~~~
The next day, Y/N and Kyle stayed in bed for a few extra hours just basking in each other's company. “You know, I thought you and Luke were the closest? I mean being the same age at least,”
She was thrown off by the sudden subject change as her face scrunched up slightly. She cleared her throat as she nodded, “We were,” she started as she saw Kyle take in a sharp breath. “He was my best friend, but we had a falling out a few months ago,” she mumbled. 
Memories of the night in question flashed in her mind. His lips against her own as they were breathing heavily and grinding against each other's bodies. She recalled feeling her body fill with butterflies as he kissed her in the most dream-like way.
“What happened?” he asked. She looked into his dark brown eyes as she tried to figure out if she should tell the truth. Kyle nodded slightly as he took in a deep breath, “Let me guess,” he mumbled, “You guys had sex?” 
She clenched her jaw as she nodded slightly. “How’d you know?” she muttered as she met his gaze.
“I don’t know, it’s the way he looks at you; like he’s seen you naked or something,” he mumbled, a dry chuckle leaving his throat. She smiled softly as she rolled her eyes playfully. 
“It just made things awkward between us, we haven’t spoken since it happened,” she let out. He remained silent as he processed, “Are you mad that I didn’t tell you?” she asked.
“No, I mean as long as it was just sex. Like you didn’t have feelings for him, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, no-no feelings,” she mumbled.
~~~
She sat on the bathroom counter, his legs between her own. She adjusted the red heart around his neck that had her name written in cursive across it. “I never thought you would join a sorority,” he let out as he rested one of his hands on her thigh. She smiled as a chuckle fell from her lips. 
“It looks good on a resume,” she mumbled as she took a hold of a spray bottle and started spraying it onto his curls. His face scrunched up together as some of the mist hit his face. 
“This is tacky,” he continued, holding up the heart around his neck. She smirked as she took a hold of some of her own hair product and ran her fingers through his hair. “Do we have to wear these the whole night?” 
“Yes, Lukey,” she mumbled as she tilted her head to the side as she admired the work she did on his hair. “And until I get a boyfriend, you have to be my date to these things,” she said as she pushed him backwards slightly so she could hop off the bathroom counter. 
She adjusted the short black dress on her frame as she looked towards the mirror. She straightened out the red heart with Luke’s name. “What are we even going to do there?” he asked as he ran his fingers through his own hair. 
“Drink, dance, and take lots of photos,” she mumbled as she applied lip gloss to her lips. Luke eyed her lips as she added the clear gloss. “It’ll be fun,” she mumbled as she turned to meet his gaze. 
He huffed as he smiled, “You and I have different definitions of fun,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes playfully as she took a hold of her phone and pulled out her camera. “Oh awesome, fun’s starting now,” he said sarcastically.
“You can be unbearable sometimes, you know that?” she let out teasingly as she wrapped her arm around the center of his back as he draped his arm around her lowerback. He pulled her tightly towards him. 
“Yeah, you too,” he shot back as he turned his head towards her with a teasing smile. She rolled her eyes as she snapped the photo of them at that moment.
“Smile,” she mumbled as she turned her gaze towards the mirror and snapped a few photos of them. Most of them are Luke glancing towards her the entire time. 
~~~
Later that night, Y/N stepped foot inside her own lakehouse, getting another drink from the fridge inside when she saw Luke sitting on the barstool beside her kitchen island. He lifted his gaze as he tossed a few chips into his mouth. His eyes scanned her body. Taking note of every single curve of her frame and how the two piece swimsuit showed every perfect part of her body. 
“Hi,” she let out as she smiled softly. He returned the soft smile as he sat up straight as she walked past the kitchen island.
“Hey,” he mumbled as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. They remained silent as she took a Truly from the fridge and cracked it open. She spun around and met his gaze. “Kyle seems nice,” he mumbled. She smiled.
“Yeah, he is,” she muttered as she brought the can to her lips. 
Their eyes remained connected as they remained silent for a few seconds. His eyes were soft and welcoming; he looked like he knew what she was thinking. All of things that have been left unsaid between them, it was as if their eyes were doing all the talking. Her heart went into overdrive.
Her eyes tried not to admire his body. His abs were prominent as well as the strong arm muscles. She took a deep breath as she rested her hands onto the counter. 
“How’s the NHL?” she asked. His eyes widened as he smiled softly.
“It’s amazing,” he mumbled, his eyes squinting slightly.
“You were fun to watch,” she let out as she met his gaze. He tilted his head to the side, a toothy grin on his lips.
“You watched the games?” he asked, genuinely shocked. She nodded dramatically. 
“You are still my best friend, Luke, Of course I was going to watch,” she mumbled as she met his gaze as she walked closer to him. He blinked his eyes rapidly as he looked away from her. 
“You seem happy,” he mumbled, unable to maintain eye contact with her. 
“Yeah, yeah.” she let out while shaking her head, “You too. I mean you’re living the dream, right?”
All he could do was hum as a reply as she was only a foot away from him and his chest was aching as he felt a magnet pulling her towards him but he tried to refuse the feeling and the desperation. 
“Why are you all alone inside? We’ve got an amazing bonfire going,” she asked as she leaned against the countertop. 
He couldn’t tell her the real answer. The real answer was that he had spent twenty-four hours watching Y/N and Kyle snuggle together and he was getting tired of it. He couldn’t breathe watching them because he wanted to kiss her cheek. He wanted to be the one holding her tightly. He wanted to be the one who loved her. He had to walk away and collect his thoughts.
While outside, Quinn was laughing at something Jack said when Kyle walked up to him. “Hey man, can I talk to you about something?” Kyle asked. Quinn’s smile slowly faded as he glanced towards Jack before he stood up and followed Kyle towards a secluded part of the backyard. Quinn nervously crossed his arms over his chest as he met Kyle’s gaze. “I’m gonna ask you a question and you’re going to not sugar coat anything,” Kyle asked. Quinn nodded.
“I’m not blind, alright? I know that your little brother has feelings for Y/N. She told me about what happened between them a few months back but she said that she didn’t have feelings for him. Is she telling the truth?” Kyle asked. 
Quinn took a deep breath as he licked his lips nervously. “We’re all close with Y/N. Jack and I have always treated her like she’s our little sister. Luke-” 
Quinn took in a sharp breath, “Luke’s been in love with her since he was eleven. He never wanted to act on it because he was terrified of losing her. Y/N was harder to see if she felt the same. Well, until they were like fifteen and they started cuddling all of the time. It was as if they constantly had to be near each other or the other one would implode. She dragged him to all of the school dances and sorority events.” he explained as Kyle was getting impatient.
“Look, they're avoiding each other because they are afraid of getting hurt. Which is causing them to get hurt anyway. You seem like a great guy, who would’ve been perfect for her. But there’s a lot of history between them that can’t be ignored,” 
Kyle remained silent as he took a deep breath. If he was being honest, he knew she wasn’t all in. He wasn’t even all in on the relationship either, it didn’t hurt to hear as much as he thought it was going to be. 
“I appreciate it, man.” Kyle mumbled as his gaze looked past Quinn to see Luke and Y/N walking out of the house together. Kyle let out a dry chuckle, “Can you tell her why I left? I’m going to pack my stuff and call an Uber.” Kyle mumbled. 
“What? You sure?” Quinn asked.
“Like you said, they’ve got history. I’m not stepping between that,” he said as he looked towards Y/N and Luke again. “Make sure they end up together, alright?” he said before he walked towards the house discreetly. 
Quinn stood still, his gaze on the dirt beneath his feet. “What the fuck just happened?” he asked himself as he walked back towards the bonfire. 
After another hour, Kyle was long gone and Y/N still had no idea. “Alright, you guys we’re going to go to bed, see you guys in the morning,” Her father expressed to everyone, the parents all went to their own lakehouse leaving the boys and Y/N alone. 
“Where’d Kyle go? Have you guys seen him?” she asked the three of them as she was starting to get a little worried. 
Quinn’s eyes widened as he cleared his throat, “He left,” is all he said. Luke perked upward at the mention. 
“What?” she let out.
“He-uh-he’s not as comfortable as he thought with you and Luke’s history. So he left,” Quinn said as his voice progressively got quieter. Luke kept shifting his gaze between Quinn and Y/N. She furrowed her eyebrows harshly as she leaned forward. 
“Did he tell you this history exactly?” she questioned, glancing at Luke for a second. 
“He might’ve,” he mumbled, glancing towards Luke, “Kinda already knew about it, though.” 
Y/N eyes flashed red as she turned her gaze towards Luke. “Can I talk to you?” she asked, standing up and walking towards Hughes's lakehouse. Luke’s room was on the second floor and his parents room was on the first. In her lakehouse her room was directly next to her parents. 
Luke slowly stood up from his seat, “Thanks,” he said sarcastically as he followed Y/N. Jack and Quinn shared a glance before they looked back towards the dying flame. 
Once Luke stepped into the house, he saw her already storming up the stairs towards his room. He took a deep breath as he skipped several steps to follow her faster. She walked into his room and began to pace back and forth. Luke shut the door behind him.
“You told Quinn!?” she called out. 
“An-and Jack, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to! You know I’m a bad liar,”
“What did you tell them exactly?!” she questioned.
He stayed quiet for a second as his heart was loud in his ear, “Quinn made a joke about us hooking up and I-I didn’t deny it that good so they found out. I told them that we just didn’t talk afterwards, we were just avoiding each other,” he explained.
Her mouth fell open as she nodded slowly. Her tongue pushed to the side of her mouth as she spun around to look away from him for a brief second. 
“Do you remember what you told me the next morning?” she asked, her voice quieter.
He met her gaze and squinted his eyes slightly, “That I was running late to practice and if we could talk about it later?” 
“Before that,”
He thought about it for a second, he replayed every second of that morning in his mind but the words were not coming to his mind. She took a deep breath as she clenched her fist and unclenched it. “You said that I was the last person you’d ever want to have a hookup with. Like-like it was embarrassing to have sex with me,” 
His eyes widened as he felt like punching himself in the chest. “Oh my god-no that’s not-”
“You hurt me, Luke!” she shouted towards him, her eyes welling up in tears.
 “I thought-I thought,” she shook her head again, “I don’t know what I thought but that was horrible to hear. Especially from you! You were supposed to be my best friend.” she shouted towards him. 
“That’s not what I meant!” he said loudly, “That not what I meant,” he let out softer as he stepped towards her, almost reaching out to touch her. 
“You know, I cared a lot about Kyle! We could’ve been something great. He was sweet and charming and he would’ve never said that to me but you-you ruined that!” she shouted as she stared deeply into his eyes. The tension was rising between them as they were only a foot apart.
“Well, if you care about the guy so much why aren’t you going after him?! Huh? Why are you standing here, shouting at me?!” he countered, getting closer to her face. She clenched her jaw as her heart was beating hard against her chest. Her skin felt hot as if steam was leaving her body. 
“I don’t know!” she shouted back as her eyes looked deeply into his eyes. His eyes were staring hard back towards her. 
“You didn’t deserve our first time together to be a drunken hook up,” he expressed, taking another step towards her. “You deserved roses and candles and all that sappy romantic shit not some dorm bed we barely fit on,” he continued as he scanned her softening features.
“Luke-”
“I couldn’t tell you I loved you, I couldn’t tell you because I was scared I was going to lose my best friend. And then I fucked up and lost you anyway,” he explained as they were mere inches apart now. “You deserved better than that and I couldn’t face it,” he mumbled. 
She leaned towards him, urgently kissing him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt her body jump against him. 
He quickly took a hold of her lower back pulling her towards him. The tension between them only increased as their lips remained connected sloppily.
She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her bare thighs against his body rushed goosebumps against her skin. 
He delicately laid her down onto his bed as his lips pulled away from hers briefly, admiring her features from the very short distance.
“I love you too,” she mumbled as she ran her fingers through the ends of his curls. He pecked her lips briefly before he leaned fully away from her. “Where are you going?” she asked barely above a whisper.
“We’re not doing this now,” he muttered as shook his head. He stood up from the bed and walked towards his closet to give her some clothes to sleep in. Instead of the swimwear still covering her frame.
“Why not?” she asked, pouting slightly. He smiled widely as he tossed her one of his hoodies and a pair of shorts she left at his dorm several months back. 
“Candles and roses,” he mumbled as he covered his frame in one of his hoodies. She smiled widely as she began to put on the clothes he handed her.
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