#also I think they get so many health issues related to their wheels. they are so fragile like horses

[bunnieswithknives]

Im sure nobody cares about them other than me but Wheeler hcs ♥

[les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Thanks for the tag, @wheel-of-fish ! I’ll do my best not to sound silly here, but I am trying to get back in the saddle of writing again and this felt nice to do as encouragement.

How many works do you have on AO3?

A mere seven stories! I am absolutely pretending the FFN account I had twenty years ago does not exist anymore. (It does.)

What's your total AO3 word count?

161, 882

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

The Fly Agaric

Between the Lines

All Imaginable Pangs

Le Phénomène

All That is Solid Melts Into Air (this fic will haunt me until I die.)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try as much as I can to; I’ve honestly fallen behind this year, since I’ve been on hiatus for medical/mental health issues, but if you see me replying to your comment from a while back in the near future… I am so so sorry, but please know that I am SO deeply appreciative of every single comment that gets left on my stories.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Between the Lines! This one is a Leroux-canon insert that happens during the two weeks Christine is trapped in Erik’s house, and within the context of the fic, it ends badly, and within the greater context of the book… well! You know how it ends. It’s funny, because that was the first fan fic I wrote as an adult trying to get back into fandom after 15+ years of pretending I had moved on from it (spoiler: i did not.) and now I cannot bring myself to write dark endings.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Most likely Le Phénomène. This was written for fluff week and was a massive excuse to have Leroux E/C have sex during a rainstorm without having to worry too much about the plot lol. What can more i say.

Do you write crossovers?

I have! It’s The Follies! And I’m quite proud of it, but it gets zero hits haha, because it’s a Venn diagram of an already small fandom (Phantom) and an incredibly niche one (my favorite musical, Sunday in the Park with George, which is also set in early 1880s Paris and about a troubled artist/muse affair—which, if you’ve never seen it, GO NOW! The proshot is widely available and it’s life changing.). If you’ve ever wanted to see Erik get drunk with Bernadette Peters, then have I got a story for you.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

For the most part, no. I have had a couple of random people who don’t like what I’ll call “hate sex” blast me for writing Erik and Christine having it because, idk their love is pure or something, but that’s mostly it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I don’t know if I write smut for the sake of smut (save for the one fluff piece), but I love writing emotional, atmospheric sex into my stories—sex that deepens how characters relate to each other and who they are as a person; people are allowed to have their own interpretations, but for me, sex is such a massive underpinning of most versions of the story and also a big part of my own life’s journey, and I just find it fascinating to write. I don’t know if people find my writing hot though, because things tend to inevitably get a little weird.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not since high school, and most of it was written to troll lol. I think now I’m just too picky and slow and set in my ways for anyone to want to collaborate with me, hahah.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Erik and Christine forever. It just is what it is, folks. Their dynamic is so specific and strange and fascinating and I will never get tired of exploring it/reading it/drawing it/writing it etc. Every other ship I love is basically just another iteration of them.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

There’s this Kay!verse horror story (with a happy ending because I’m me) that I started writing; it’s inspired by the myth of La Llorona and takes place during the weekend adult Erik returns to Boscherville to burn his mother’s house down. I really WANT to write it, but I have a story I need to finish first. I also seldom write horror and had to put it on pause because the particular subject matter of this one did not help my mental state lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel so silly writing this out about myself, hahah. If I have to say, I am particularly proud of my characterizations, my prose, and the thematic arcs I try to put into every story I write.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Oh, god. Plot. Like anything that isn’t angsting, fucking, or fighting is SO hard for me to write. (Hint: call everything a “character piece” and you never have to explain why nothing happens in your writing lmao). Looooong ass sentences. I’m incredibly slow at writing, terrible at outlining, and I second guess myself with every sentence. Someone once told me to my face that my fic writing was purple prose and I guess that still haunts me a bit.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

For the most part, I think it’s a bad idea. Unless you have a genuine handle on the other language, I think you’re better off implying that said language is being spoken through other means. It otherwise usually just reads as really cringey to me, like “Woohoo I ran this through google translate”—especially in smut. A couple of words here and there are fine, especially if there is a word that doesn’t have a 1:1 in the primary language, but something about a bunch of Google translate sentences being pasted into the middle of a story takes me out entirely. Just my preference though, especially when it comes to my own writing; I’m not Tolstoy. I’m not Nabokov. I’m not gonna try. Anyway, end tangent.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I’d say Pharoga, but my current WIP leans into that ship on and off. I really, really want to writeErik and Meg. One day. Or Raoul/Madame Giry

What's your favorite fic you've written?

It’s really hard to say tbh—the process of writing every one of my stories (including Tubeman Rik) has taught me so much about myself as a writer and person. But it’s a split between The Fly Agaric and All Imaginable Pangs. The former was basically the fic I’d been wanting to read and struggling to write for twenty years, and I put so much of myself and my own life experiences into it that it feels incredible to have finally laid it all out and gotten it on paper, even if I worry that I now have nothing else to say about Christine and Erik, haha. But there is something about All Imaginable Pangs that made it so fun to write—I love the challenge of crafting an OC who makes sense in Erik’s past, I LOOOOOVE thinking about the period of Erik’s life where he was trying to live as normal person, before he was jaded enough to become a mole person, and I love that period of time in art and history. It’s been so fun to sit in that world. I expected no one to read it, because I realize that OCs are a very hard sell in this fandom, but I just wanted to create a POV character who was closer in age to me, who’d been dealt a lot of luxury and a lot of shit thrown her way, who also has gray hair and soft thighs lol. That it has gotten any comments, let alone some of the seriously incredible feedback I’ve received across platforms, surprises and delights me. I can’t say whether or not Augustine is a success in terms of a believable original love interest, let alone person, but I like her enough that I’m (slowly) re-writing the whole story from Erik’s point of view.

Well. That was a lot of chatter. I apologize if any of this comes off as pretentious, but I’ve taken such a long hiatus from writing fic and this was a nice little jab in the arm to finish. I’ve had to take a lot of time away from fandom for health reasons, but I’m doing so much better and (i think) finally getting back in the swing of things. If you’ve ever so much as read one of my fics, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Tagging @box5intern @ladystormcrow @flora-gray @muirin007 @antiquarianne . My apologies if you’ve already been tagged.

[eddiegettingshot]

bpd anon back!!! thank you for your kind reply hima ❤️ i forgot to mention like even down to the identity issues buck has are so relatable to me as a bpd person. like the self improvement shit and software updates only to stay stuck in the same patterns is SO real

honestly id love for the show to actually address a lot of bucks mental health issues. i dont think they will though. bpd is also more commonly diagnosed in women which i think would play a factor even though all of the signs are there. tho also i dont want to see it because idk if it’d actually bring up any real discussions since the fandom tends to think buck can do no wrong lmfao

i still think buck is on that hamster wheel though, but in a different way? realizing your sexuality is a pretty big leap regardless but to me he’s still approaching relationships in the same way. tommy fell into his lap because he couldn’t acknowledge what was right in front of him (and again as someone with bpd change in relationships can be very terrifying!! even the slightest drift in a different direction can be debilitating to deal with!!). i think the bi buck arc is a stride in the right direction but not the end goal. buck needs therapy imo. id still be on my own hamster wheel without it (he also needs a break from dating because jesus christ just watching it is a lot to handle lmao)

also wouldve loved to see an actual apology on screen (i find it very hard to believe one wouldnt have taken place at all) because like no matter your mental issues or whatever you need to take ownership of your behavior. mental illness is an explanation not an excuse and it wouldve been really nice to see him take ownership with that even though eddie wouldve forgiven him regardless.

and on the eddie ptsd stuff — why the FUCK do people think he needs to address every little flaw before having a relationship? i feel that way about myself a lot of the time but he’s done so much work on himself and made so many strides???? i think addressing the shannon of it all is one thing but can my guy have permission to be happy 😭 he doesn’t have the same problems as buck and thats arguably the fucking point lmao. also with the catholic guilt thing its crazy because i grew up catholic and honestly i dont think that’s something that ever really goes away? i think it can stop bothering you and you learn to accept it but catholicism can ingrain itself pretty deep. i think eddie can move on from it but saying he has to get rid of it to be in a gay relationship when that is like the foundation of his childhood belief system is a little wack to me. like i rarely think about religion anymore and don’t really feel a huge connection to god (and i dont have a lot of emotions on it ig) but i also find myself still dealing with that mindset that growing up in religion can cause in some ways. its just kinda there

anyway eddie army stays strong 🫶 hopefully if they address shannon tonight it goes well

this is soooooo thoughtful anon you're so right!!!

eddie army we will make it through <3

[thesweetestdevotion]

hello can i request career reading for p1harmony? thank you

P1Harmony Career Reading:

Dice: Gemini, Jupiter, 7th House

Tarot:

Their Current Career: The Moon Reversed, Two of Swords, Nine of Wands Reversed, Seven of Swords, The Sun Reversed, Three of Cups, The Hierophant Reversed, Knight of Swords, Five of Swords Reversed, The World,

I feel like their current career isn’t going in the way they hoped it would in some aspects. They might’ve come across something revealed to them that put them in a cross roads situation. They feel like they have to make a choice right now and it could weigh heavily on them as a group. Im seeing they became aware of some sort of sneakiness or underhanded behavior that was hidden from them which was the cause of a lot of stress and fatigue. I think right now they are leaning heavily on each other in order to overcome this, i feel that they have good rapport between them. Their biggest strength is their ability to be relatable to other people, they seem to be very good at communicating, social media is also a strength here with Gemini. They also have great ability to expand beyond what they are doing now. I think right now they are ending a past cycle in their career, maybe they are changing something in their contracts, or dealing with legal stuff. I think this will allow them more freedom to expand to bigger things and grow as artists. They are a very great group of people and I’m seeing they just work so well together, very harmonious and fun. this will help them greatly in the long run, I think whatever legal or contract issue they are dealing with now will get resolved well, but they have to prioritize communication with their higher ups and also be aware of themselves and what they want in their work and their development as artist.

Dice: Jupiter, 12th House, Virgo

Future of their Career: Seven of Cups, The Wheel of Fortune, Eight of Swords, Three of Swords Reversed, Ace of Wands Reversed, The Star Reversed, Judgement, Ten of Coins, The Hermit Reversed

Okay so for their future career I’m still seeing expansion lol! They might begin to focus on foreign markets, they could also do some sort of training? Or something where they’re able to hone new skills and by learning these skills they’ll be able to “re-enter” the world of entertainment with renewed power and strength which will allow them more leverage. I do think they will have many options in the future, but they will have to take initiative to choose one path to stay on! It’s best if they dont get caught up in pretty promises and choose what is best for them. They might also feel a bit like they lack the ability to take charge in their projects and their creative direction which could cause them some stress and grief ngl, they might feel like their dreams are being dwindled as they have to focus on more material things. I think this will be temporary however, i just think they might run into a situation where their self-expression will be stifled in order to make them more ‘palatable’ to a wider audience. I do think they will find a lot of opportunities in the foreign market and will be expanding towards that so it may shock them how to navigate this and they might have trouble adjusting to foreign tastes and fan-culture. They will be very financially rewarded for their efforts however, they might even sign new contracts that give them more money. They will also just have more work to do, their everyday routines will change a lot, there will be focus on their health and appearance. They might get more into fitness as a group? Or better their health, which will be important for their stamina and performance. I did say that they will learn new skills so they might be learning new dances/music styles. I just heard PR training so also that.

There was a lot of mercurial energy and jovial energy in this reading, so i think their career will have an emphasis on learning and growing as they go. they have luck on their side, I’m seeing their career is divinely guided, spirit has plans in store that even I have no access to. Ultimately their efforts and hard work and also determination, discipline, and discernment will have the most impact on their career! It’s truly in their hands hehe. They feel like a talented group of people that has the ability to reach huge heights if they put their mind to it. Hope you guys like it!! Xoxox

[skellymom]

Hi, Skelly! Really random question here but I think your honestly the best person to ask on this topic. This is non-Star Wars related btw. Feel free to ignore.

I have these neighbours who arent the best of people. They got a dog 2 years ago I believe, a Belgian Shepherd. Unsurprisingly, she barks a lot.

We don't think the owners are abusing her or not feeding her or anything, just not taking her for a lot of walks. It's their first dog (the mum, dad and two sons, to be exact, none have ever had a dog before) and obviously shouldn't have gotten a Belgian Shepherd when they have a smallish backyard.

I was wondering if there was something I - or my family - could do? None of us blame the dog, just the inexperienced-ness of the family.

You don't have to reply to this, as I know its out of pocket and not what you expect. Was just curious.

Have a great day/night!

~Jamie.

P.S. My puppy had a scare last year when she was only 2 and a half months or so and we had to go to ER for her. Geez, that place is stressful so my thanks to you and your workers everywhere!

Buckle up and get comfortable, I have A LOT to say on this issue:

(TRIGGER WARNING-I WORK VETERINARY ER AND THERE WILL BE MENTIONS OF DEATH AND OTHER DARK ASPECTS OF WHAT VET STAFF SEE IN THE FIELD. Consider yourself warned. I am ranting as a PSA and FYI for those not familiar but REALLY need to know what we do! If you feel brave PLEASE give it the time to read. Thanks!!!)

OHHH, I LOVE SHEPPIES!!! They are SO smarticle, sweet, energetic...and extremely spirited. However, they DEFINITELY need exercise. More importantly, they need mental stimulation. A several mile walk is great for the body, but not something everyone can do daily. Plus, these guys are brilliant (only second to the esteemed Border Collie) and their mind is like a hamster on a wheel. So, training, commands, tricks, agility courses and anything that requires not just exercise, but mental stimulation is top priority. These guys were bred to run and think on their feet. THEY NEED A JOB! They AT LEAST (and this is foundational) NEED TO BE WALKED DAILY!!! Every dog needs to be walked daily as this also helps with bone density, muscle strength, balance, cardiovascular function, etc. Same with humans. If you don't exercise, you can become depressed, overweight, brittle bones, diabetic, constipated, and a host of other health issues later in life that cost money to regulate and fix.

Most owners buy a dog as a companion, and these guys can be amazing ones. However they aren't your lazy Golden Retrievers or Greyhounds (while sporting class they do a burst of energy and lay around a lot normally). Unfortunately, dogs not given mental stimulation will show the following behaviors: excessive barking, destructive chewing, inappropriate urination/defecation, escaping out of the yard and getting in trouble/injured, misbehavior to commands, possible self injury, and unfortunately even aggression towards people and other animal housemates. A LOT of working/sporting dogs wind up in shelters and euthanized due to these behaviors when all they needed was regular exercise, training, and mental stimulation. A LOT of regular non sporting dogs do too.

In order to keep their dog, they need to include them as a true member of the family. Plan family activities with the dog. Can they run errands with a family member who might just want to do a ride along and the dog comes with to sit in the car when the person goes in. They can also research places that allow shoppers to bring their dogs into the facility: Home Depot, Lowes, Michaels, some downtown shops in their area might allow it. Shop for dog snacks/food and take the dog with them to pick it up as many pet stores allow dogs in their store. Heck we have restaurants and coffee shops that cater to outdoor dining patrons who bring their dogs...and the dogs get spoiled too.

If their dog is too rambunctious, then they DEFINITELY NEED TO SIGN UP AND GO TO DOG TRAINING CLASSES. ALL THE CLASSES, and more than just puppy training. Really, this should be foundational too. Every dog needs training. Again, get the whole family involved, because the dog (like children and adults) need consistency and everyone needs to know what to do when walking, interacting, and commanding "Sheppie" to behave like a Good Canine Citizen. There is a a right way to train and a horrible way to reinforce negative behaviors in a canine. EVERYONE needs to put in the work. Everyone needs to feed the dog, fill it's water bowl, pick up the poop, and walk the dog. Everyone needs to play and pet the poochie. That's why you get a dog!

The family needs to do some honest soul searching to figure out if this dog and breed REALLY fits with their family dynamic. If not, they the dog should go back to the rescue or shelter (many shelters have a return clause in their paperwork that says they MUST return the dog to them. It's for safety reasons) or find a RESPONSIBLE new owner to adopt "Sheppie". There are rescues, shelters, and fosters online. Again, they took on the responsibility and they need to do their due diligence to find a good home for this living breathing animal.

Let me also debunk a horrible myth that still circulates: REHOMING YOUR ANIMAL IS NOT WRONG IF YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE OF OR PROVIDE FOR IT! Screaming it for the people in the back!!! I have been working in the vet field for over 8 years (general practice, shelter med, emergency, high volume TNR) and have seen some horrendous shit when people keep an animal that they no longer wish to interact with. It can be mild contempt for the perceived burden to downright neglect and abuse. Also, I have seen family members and household pets in danger or actually mauled from dogs that people refused to put more money/couldn't afford/didn't have time for training that kept/refused to rehome to a place with no children/no pets/etc. And, understandably, many of these people LOVED that dog and kept trying to fix the situation. But sometimes you cannot, and the aggression, destruction, ingestion of foreign objects (we have frequent visitors to my ER that have foreign body surgeries due to anxiety chewing/swallowing-some end as euthanasia's). I have had owner's come in with animals that needed to be euthanized for aggression due to high drive, with their housemate mauled, and the owner mauled and bleeding (trying to pull them apart)-all of them showing up together. We have had bored dogs jump the fence to find something interesting to do and get hung up on it, needing emergency surgery. We have had them run out into the street and hit by cars. These things happen to all dogs that require someone to tend to their needs EVERY DAY!

I had to rehome a Dutch Shepherd that we took on as a foster (from a not good situation-putting it mildly) when she tried to maul my elderly German Shepherds (and that was with daily walks, daily at home training, professional training, and veterinary medical evaluations), we found a rescue that deals with security/military breeds to take her to. Sometimes the animal you choose to have in your home may NOT FIT WITH YOUR FAMILY. It happens.

So, you asked what you can do? First, thank you for caring and wanting to do something. Second, you can print out information on local dog training places, agility, and specific breed information (Belgian Shepherds include: Malinois, Turveren, Laekenois, and Groenendael, so tailor it to what their dog is), and anything else you can think of to offer to the owner. Try to approach it as helping and not frustration. HOWEVER, I will warn you now that sometimes people are not open to outside help and will not take this positively. Even people seeking out medical veterinary help can get defensive when we try to help them. Unfortunately, nice people who take on a high drive/high energy breed for their first dog are unaware of the huge responsibility they have. And, not demonizing here, but they buy the dog with the ideal they have for themselves and forget this animal has needs and is languishing without proper care...even a mental/physical outlet. And from what I have seen, this is an epidemic. For those reading this: if you feel you have to "come at me" go volunteer at a shelter/rescue or go have a heart to heart discussion with ANY veterinary professional. If someone was entrusted as your guardian with the responsibility of your mental healthcare and didn't see to your mental health needs and you had no outlet, how would you feel?

Actually...that is happening now in epidemic proportions. It sucks, right???

I wish you luck @fionajames . It's NEVER bad to reach out and attempt to help. At least you tried and I LOVE YOU FOR IT!

[wrenthetitmouse]

As someone who has been on both sides of the healthcare equation a fair bit (student nurse and person with chronic health issues) it frustrates me to no end when people tell me to 'just go to the ER'. I know what they would do - they would rule out anything that is going to immediately seriously hurt or kill me (hopefully) and then send me home to follow up with my primary care provider. It's not a quick fix for me like it often is for people with no chronic health issues and it's probably just going to end up with me feeling worse and wasting time and resources for both the healthcare system and myself - I could also pick up an infection or illness, because as much as we try to keep things clean, hospitals are full of sick people and as such are dirtier and germier than most people expect. There are only so many spoons to go around and I don't want to use them for something that won't help me and could potentially just make me worse.

I think people genuinely want to help me but they have little to no insight into my lived experience as both patient and provider (in training). For most people who are relatively healthy, their understanding of illness and injury is that you get sick or hurt, then you go to the doctor or to the hospital, and then you get better, or you skip that middle step and get better by yourself. The normal level of pain for people without chronic health conditions is little to none, depending on factors like normal period cramps, the occasional ache or pain, or those odd little bruises and scratches (I see people say the normal level of pain is zero, and whilst I agree with the sentiment, my autistic brain is pedantic AF and won't let me say that lol).

Massive spiel about how I figure out if I need to seek medical attention or not below the cut, I am a yapper at heart and incapable of conciseness.

So, if someone with no chronic pain or health issues experiences something like constant and unrelenting vomiting, persistent shortness of breath, severe chest pain and/or heart racing and palpitations, a blinding headache, or severe abdominal/pelvic pain and tenderness, it's very clear cut for them to go to the ER. For someone with a chronic health issue or chronic pain, this may be their every day or their flare when they are overtired or pick up something like the common cold or a stomach bug. Needless to say, it would be impractical and unhelpful for someone with, for instance, endometriosis, to go to the ER every month when their symptoms flare. (Or randomly, if your cycle is less of a cycle and more of an un-lucky-dip/neverending rollercoaster/Satan's wheel of misfortune like mine is.)

Even medical professionals who work with people with chronic illness and pain every day sometimes struggle to grasp this concept, especially if they don't have any personal experience with it. I feel like this is part of the reason why many chronically ill people find public health information confusing to interpret or near impossible to relate to - it's not really designed with us in mind, because in most cases, our specific condition/set of conditions (and therefore our experience) is a minority. If I went to the hospital every time the communication aimed at the general public tells me to, I would be there every couple of weeks.

The most helpful thing I have found to help me know when it's time to seek urgent medical attention is to follow these principles:

Know your normal. If you know what symptoms are normal for you and when, and what they feel like, it'll be easier for you to recognize a change or deviation from your norm. This is one of the many reasons why even vague and inconsistent symptom tracking/journaling can be really useful for those of us with chronic health issues. (I use an app called QENDO and the period tracker Clue to track my symptoms of suspected endo.)

When you do see a doctor or specialist or health professional, ask them a butt-ton of questions about what to watch for so you can make a plan (kind of like the personalized asthma management plans that we have in Australia that say when to take your medication, when to see your doctor, and when to call an ambulance). This is helpful mainly for understanding when you should seek medical attention for the condition(s) you have or are suspected to have - for instance, if I were to pass out then I would need to go to urgent care or the ER to check on my heart and blood pressure because I've talked with some doctors who think that I might have POTS. This will be different for everyone, some people regularly pass out, have seizures etc... and that is their normal. If you don't have access to a provider that is willing to help or listen then doing your own research about your conditions can be helpful but it doesn't really replace individualized professional medical advice.

Know which conditions and complications you are at increased risk for. This might sound obvious, but it's important. As a young woman who takes hormonal birth control and has gastro-oesophageal reflux disease, I am at an increased risk for things like strokes, blood clots, stomach ulcers, and GI tract bleeds compared to the general population. That way I know that if I experience something like one-sided weakness and paralysis, vomiting or coughing up blood, or throbbing pain/swelling in one leg, I need to seek urgent medical attention. On the other hand, severe lower abdominal or pelvic pain, very heavy menstrual bleeding, severe headaches and severe pain in my lower back and both legs is normal for me, especially around my period (please remember these symptoms shouldn't be ignored. They should always be taken seriously and it's really important to talk to a medical provider about them if you haven't before. I talked to my doctors about these symptoms and made a plan for how to manage and investigate them).

As always just a disclaimer that nothing I post on here should be taken as medical advice at all ever. I have like... half a qualification at best and I'm not acting or speaking on behalf of anyone but myself and I'm not acting or speaking in any professional capacity - just casual blogging on the internet.

*If you are concerned at all about your health and you go to the ER or urgent care this does not mean you are wasting time and resources! please don't put off seeking medical attention because you are worried about 'wasting time', ruling out a serious issue and making sure you are OK is never a waste of time. If you are seriously worried about your health then please seek professional help.

There is nearly nothing as frustrating as being told to go to the ER for symptoms that you experience on the regular, and the person not understanding that their solution isn't an option.

Like, I was told to go the ER for my repetitive vomiting, when I experience that once a month from endometriosis. How would a once a month ER trip be practical?

Literally what will they do? Why would I spend 5 + hours at an ER being so sick I want to die when I could do the same thing at home in bed? Able bodied people are truly in a different reality, the ER will not help me.

[haggishlyhagging]

What is something that could improve intergenerational cooperation?

Alyssa: Recently I participated in a feminist video contest on the theme of the Women's Liberation Movement. We looked at feminist archives with interviews, pictures from protests, songs, and political posters. This was incredibly inspiring, and it can enable young feminists to realize that we are a part of something bigger than just our present condition. It has the potential of creating sisterhood between generations. I think that we should also create more spaces where we can meet, debate and learn from one another. I am always so moved by the emotion of older feminists when we meet in conferences, when they come to me to say that I am part of the new generation, as if they were passing me a torch. This realization is so important: we are not alone, we do not need to reinvent the wheel because we have inherited the thoughts, the words, the analysis, the defeats and the victories of our older sisters.

Natasha: The first thing that comes to mind is being able to dialogue better in between generations. When we talk about intergenerational problems, I feel like it comes from poor communication with each other. We are all at different stages of womanhood and a lot of what differentiates generations tends to get lost in translation. Empathic communication is needed to bring both ends to a constructive solution.

Adriana: I agree with Natasha that a lot of empathy is needed in both directions. A lot of people say that conflict within the feminist movement is a generational issue - but it's not - it's an ideological issue. I don't agree with some younger feminists when they define themselves in opposition to older feminists. Where would we be without the persecuted women who dared to resist? The blame is being put on older women, which misrepresents the structural forces of male culture. But at the same time, on a practical level, I wish that older women wouldn't expect so much of younger women. I used to flip burgers to be able to survive and militate in feminist organizations. I realize that there is virtually no money to pay young women to do feminist activism, but please don't expect me to be energetic because one day I will have a breakdown. It is no coincidence that most feminists are tired as hell, and many have mental health issues.

Bec: Yeah, there seems to be this dual necessity for empathy. On the one hand, older women, expecting a lot from the younger generation, but on the other hand young women today define themselves in opposition to older women and believe that they are going to correct the failures of history, which creates this artificial divide between generations. That really serves patriarchal methods. Women have rebelled and resisted since the beginning, and the idea that there were no women, or that only certain women are selectively recovered to fit a contemporary narrative, is very harmful.

Adriana: But this is something that is done on purpose. Gendered marketing instils this message into young women who are scared to grow up, scared to accept the effects of time on their bodies. They look at older women and think "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be old." This also relates to trans activism, in the way that we are prevented from naming our mothers. They want to cut any ties that we have with previous generations so there's no continuum. I think we should be giving intergenerational dialogue a lot more thought because our livelihood depends on it.

Bec: As you say it's intentional in the way that each new generation of women must relearn lessons from the movement. There's no continuation of learning, and so every time the movement must re-energize and start from scratch, rather than building from previous efforts. This is very intentional.

Yagmur: It's interesting what you say about the fear of getting old. I often use the analogy of Little Red Riding Hood to explain what is going on: the wolf, who is disguised as a woman, eats the grandmother first. He doesn't just eat the little girl straight away. He makes sure that the old woman, the wise woman, is attacked first, to make sure that there will be no retaliation against him. It's really dangerous for men if we get close to that knowledge and wisdom which older women have cultivated.

-Wonders, Bec (Interviewer), “Oil and Water: Young Migrant Women and the Promises of Liberal Feminism” in Spinning And Weaving: Radical Feminism for the 21st Century

[randomtalkswithriddhi]

Communication.

Do breaking a relationship hurts? Does it means its the end of the world?

Is it that big of a thing? 

YES!!!

It hurts. Hell it hurts a lot. Sure! But thats not the end right? 

Why do even this happen??

Just like every coin have two faces, every story has two sides. If you only focus on your side and don't even try to understand the other person's point of view, then it is a mistake and that's the most hurtful part for the person in front of you, your partner and also for you. 

Not all the girls are similar and neither are the boys. Most of the time an individual thinks that his/her partner broke things off because of their appearance or looks. They might think they are not good enough for their partner. But those aren't the  ' only' reasons. Priorities, career, family, self love, mental peace , stability, and many more factors are to be reasonable. 

Every person has its own reasons. Rather than getting upset and mad about it or forcing your own decisions upon other's, you should listen to them, try to understand their story, their perspective and support them.  I am not saying try to understand 'him' / ' her' but, understand what they want/need from you. 

These things might be a positive point of view but their's one more thing that affects a relationship badly and that is 'communication'. Yes! Communication. Lack of communication can lead to arguments, complaints, complications, misunderstanding and distance. Yeah, lack of communication can do a lot of damage. But  solving them is more important.  Talking about your misunderstanding and insecurities is necessary. I have heard somewhere that 'communication is one of the most essential key for a healthy and successful relationship '. If the conflict isn't resolved it will only disturb your relationship and mess with your mental health. And i personally think that in a relation of any two individual people, their shouldn't be a third wheel to resolve your issues. Whatever happens remember that 'you are on your own'  in a relationship. And when I say relationship, it doesn't mean 'only' between two young adults couple. It can be a relationship of 'Mother-Daugther' , 'father-son', 'teacher-pupil', 'sister-brother' even two best friends. 

I know it's hard not to involve other person in an issue but trust me it's no good. Their interference in one's matter can only ruin the case. What people think or what their opinions, advices are, are just like bubble. It's not real but illusional. so just listen to them, dont react according to them. Because managing and handling a relationship is very delicate. Every Emotion, every moment is extremely precious. And it will not even take less then 5 minutes to ruin it if you keep listening to others " the third wheel" rather then your heart. 

So Think twice before you take any step and ruin/ breaking it. Listen to your heart. Keep your thoughts pure and positive. Because if you are happy, you can keep surrounding happy. 

Love,

Riddhi

[doves-writings-n-stuff]

Eddie with a chronically ill partner headcanons

As someone with various health issues….I think eddie would be the best partner ever.

POTS related:

Dude freaks out the first time you faint around him.

“HOLY SHIT. (Y/n) ARE YOU OKAY?” Fully flings himself to the ground to check your pulse as you come to.

Makes sure to carry a bag of salt with him for when you need it.

“No don’t get up! I’ll get it for you.”

Would fight anyone for making fun of you.

The only reason this man drinks water is to encourage you to drink more too.

“However much water you drink in a day, I’ll drink too. Hydration pals.”

Would definitely be by your side every time you stand up to make sure you don’t hit the ground.

Buys you an office chair with wheels so you can scoot around his trailer lmao

Definitely makes puns whenever he can.

“POTS acting up? what about your pans?”

Comparing heart rates for fun.

“I got 87, what about you?” “146.” “(Y/n) THATS SO HIGH”

Ehlers Danlos related:

Loves the party tricks you can do, but fears for your joints.

Got totally freaked out the first time he saw something bend in a way it shouldn’t.

“How the fuck can you move your shoulders like that?”

You had to talk him out of taking you to the hospital when your hip dislocated.

“Dude you have to go get that fixed.” “I can fix it myself Eddie, just give me a minute.” *violent cracking sound*

He jokes about putting you in a giant bubble to keep you safe.

When you met Dustin for the first time, the first thing eddie mentions is your bendiness. “Dustin this is (y/n). They have collarbones but can still fold kinda like you.”

He has definitely convinced you to use your hypermobility for evil (he skips class and “takes you to the doctor” when you dislocate something)

So many dirty jokes.

“Think you could move like that again later?” *wink*

Obsessed with how soft your skin can be

However he is totally freaked out by how stretchy it is

“Dude you’re like…made of rubber.”

Authors note: all based off of my own experiences. I can do a part 2 with other stuff OR you can request your own eddie x chronically ill!reader headcanons or full fics! I also write non-sick prompts as well :))

[asenvs3000w22]

Privilege + Nature Interpretation

Whether we realize it or not, privilege plays a big part in all of our experiences in life. Privilege refers to the certain social benefits an individual has by virtue of belonging to a certain group. For example, individuals in western scoeity that are typically recognized as being privileged include individuals who are white, wealthy or those who identify as male. As a south Asian woman, I’m automatically part of two minority groups in western society. However, there are a variety of other factors that make me privileged and have thus impacted my experiences relating to nature interpretation. For example, I am proficient in English, able bodied with no disabilities and health complications, of middle socioeconomic status, and have had the ability to get post-secondary education. Having adequate financial resources, means that I've been able to visits various natural attractions that many may not be able to afford. For example, I was able to take a week-long trip to the East Coast and visit various natural sites and attractions because I had the financial means to do so. During that trip, I was able to use my proficiency in English to ask people questions and to enhance my experience by being inquisitive. My post-secondary education thus far, has also provided me with the knowledge to be able to ask certain questions and think "outside the box".

“The Wheel of Privilege” From The CIHR Institute of Gender and Health 

Individuals that aren’t privy to the same level of privilege I have, may not know about interpretive opportunities, may not perceive the value in participating in them, or are willing to  participate but are unable to do so due to physical or social barriers. Physical barriers can include lack of transportation, or limited access to an area due to a disability. Physical barriers can be removed by making sure that parks and attractions are accessible for seniors, families, or those with disabilities. Free or discounted means of transportaion that is subsidized by the government is also a potential method of alleviating the barrier of transportaion. The social barrier is much more difficult to tackle and must be handled not from the point of view of wanting to coerce or indoctrinate an individual or group of individuals, but instead by helping to provide emotionally and intellectually meaningful experiences, that lead an individual to care about a place the context of their own values and understandings (Beck et al., 2019).This can be done by building universal concepts like family, beauty, friendship  into interpretation, to reach a wider and more culturally  diverse audience. Interpreters can also ensure that there isnt a communication barrier by providing pamphlets, and brochures that consist of a variety of languages or having an individual that is able to translate and cater to a specific population. For example, if an area is known to have a large East Asian population, languages of the region can be incorporated into the interpretative experience in the form of audio, video, and text or simply a diverse group of interpreters that are able to speak the language and bridge the gap in communication and even culture. Employing individuals of various backgrounds, is an important step in addressing the problem of inclusivity in nature interpretation. Many organizations are now specifically looking to employ individuals of marginalized groups to address the issue. For example, the Toronto Zoo has an internship program called “Building Leadership through Climate Action", that was specifically built to serve low-income, minority and Canadian youth aged 18 to 30. This program was developed to equip interns with a knowledge of climate change issues and actions they can take, by teaming them up with experts and Toronto Zoo staff. The interns would then be able to use this knowledge and experience to create projects that include connecting with visitors of the Toronto zoo at various exhibits, conducting field trips, and collaborating with community partners.

“Field trip” From The Toronto Zoo Website 

This is just one of the many examples of actions being taken by organizations to make these sorts of experiences more inclusive and diverse. However, I think we can still do so much more. Provincial parks and other natural attractions can start by acknowledging the privilege of their own existence and that they largely exist on stolen land that was once inhabited by indigenous people. They can also give back to indigenous communities by incorporating them into these experiences and letting them speak about their history and contributions to this country.

 A sacred site, known as “The Teaching Rocks” at  Petroglyphs Provincial Park. This is a prime example of how a provincial park is able to acknowledge its privilege by respecting indigenous culture and paying homage to it. 

From:  https://wanderingwagars.com/

Reference: 

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2019). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For A Better World. Redshelf eBook. Sagamore Publishing. Retrieved January 29, 2022, from https://platform.virdocs.com/r/s/0/doc/1948104/sp/245407251/mi/718086528?cfi=%2F4%2F4&menu=index.

[mythgirlimagines]

This week, I have a brand-new talentswap MAID especially for you! If you couldn’t tell by the pun in the first sentence, this Myth is the Former Ultimate Maid!

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BACKSTORY AND TALENT

Originally living with her sisters at an orphanage, Myth watched as both of sisters got picked up by loving families, while poor Myth was left in the dust. In order to make herself more desirable to prospective parents, Myth taught herself how to cook and clean after all of the other kids in the orphanage. Eventually though, much to her joy, she was eventually was picked up by a wealthy family that eventually ditched her, despite being great at her maid duties. Eventually, after going through many wealthy families and being tossed out/abused/ignored, without a second thought, one family managed to keep her: a warm and loving family with an artistic prodigy for a daughter. For once, Myth felt the love and affection that she was starved for, after all of those years of isolation and being tossed out like common trash. All of those skills accumulated from both helping out at the orphanage and being raised as a maid for all of these wealthy families, earned her the Hope’s Peak title of Ultimate Maid. 

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RELATIONSHIPS

Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Artist

Born into an influential family of artistic geniuses, with their father being a master sculptor and their mother being a expert sketch artist, Wyre mainly specializes in the craft of both their parents, even though they are a master in practically every art form their parents can throw at them. When Wyre heard from their parents that someone was going to be adopted into their family, Wyre was ecstatic at the idea, and Myth quickly proved themself as a great servant and sister figure. Myth regularly serves food and cleans up after Wyre, when they gets particularly busy. Every since Wyre heard about Myth’s past with all of the other families, they claim that they are willing to fight all of them, much to the protests of Myth. 

Outfit: A brown paint-colored apron over a black sweater and matching pants and shoes, a tool belt with sculpting supplies, black fingerless gloves, glasses from original design.

Anon Scar, Ultimate Detective

Despite Scar’s eccentric behavior and constant talk of possessing an “All-Seeing Eye” under her eyepatch (which was actually lost in a battle between her and a particularly violent criminal), none of Scar’s clients can deny that she is a very competent detective, in spite of both that and her age. Her detective duties can get very stressful at times, but it seems Myth has a psychic connection to Scar’s distress, for she would always be there with whatever can calm Scar down. This has caused Scar to feel both intrigued (in regards to the possible existence of psychics) and concerned for Myth’s health and well-being (because of Myth‘s constant overexertion and overworking).

Outfit: A black and purple eyepatch on her left eye, a black jacket slung over her shoulders Yasuhiro-style, a black vest over a white dress shirt, black pants and black thigh high heels.

Fusion Anon, Ultimate Astronaut

Ever since he was little and went stargazing with his grandparents, Fusion has always showed an interest in reaching the stars and traveling beyond the boundaries. Having aced both the physical and written exams at NASA, despite his age, Fusion is well on his way to becoming a full-blown astronaut. Fusion also trains younger children who are planning on becoming astronauts just like him, via lectures on astronomy and little physical exercises to build up endurance, and he brought his astronaut-training seminars to the Kibo-Con. Myth regularly assists him in his seminars, and in return, Myth gets glow-in-the-dark star-shaped stickers and freeze-dried “astronaut grub” from Fusion. 

Outfit: A blue galaxy printed jumpsuit over a red t-shirt with a yellow star on the front, black and dark grey gloves and matching boots, glasses from original design.

FU-510-N Mk. 2 (aka. Fusion Anon II), Ultimate Robot 

FU-510-N Mk. 2 (or Fusion II as she’d like to be called) was a robot created by NASA, in order to both assist Fusion in his seminars and accompany him on his future space expeditions. Created to entertain adults as well as children during the lectures and training, Fusion II was written with more of a sarcastic edge to her dialogue with Fusion, making her a bit more of a straight man to Fusion’s cheerful and pun-loving funny man, almost like Fusion’s rebellious teen daughter. Fusion II bonded with Myth quickly over their shared statuses of being “assistants“ to others. But much to Fusion II’s dismay, it doesn’t seem like Myth is able to pick up on her sarcasm at all.

Outfit: A white exoskeleton, pink and black joints,  and four small black wheels underneath her “skirt”, clothes from original design.

Just Anon, Ultimate Anthropologist 

Running away from home, because of his massively rich, influential, and incredibly strict parents, with nothing but a backpack and his wits, Janon eventually found the one thing that actually interested him, while on his trek across the world: people and their cultures, which attracted him to the field of anthropology. After writing all about his travels and the philosophies he learned in a couple of journals he eventually published for the masses, Janon was revered as a genius in the field of anthropology. Despite planning on taking this secret to the grave, Janon has a secret soft spot for Myth, for she reminds her of the poor maids being crapped on by his influential family.

Outfit: A black facemask, a black overcoat over a pink t-shirt, a skull necklace, brown pants, black boots, a big brown backpack.

Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Entomologist

Specializing in lepidoptery and coleopterology, Sparkle intends on showing people all about the beauty of insects, in the most flamboyant and over-dramatic ways possible. Despite these idiosyncrasies, she is a respected figure by entomologists and aspiring entomologists everywhere. While Myth loves admiring the odd butterfly as much as the next person, Sparkle attracts insects like sugar water, and they are all a nightmare to remove and exterminate. The whole insect issue isn’t helped by the fact that Sparkle loudly and explicitly refuses to let Myth get rid of any of her “precious jewels”. Luckily, Sparkle shared some non-pesticide related methods to herd her insects, in case they get wild.

Outfit: A cape that resembles monarch butterfly wings with shoulder pads that look like rhino beetles, a green insect carrier,  a brown skirt with darker brown ant patterns, the glasses, jacket, undershirt, leggings, and boots from her original design.

Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Child Caregiver, and Wet Sock Anon, Former Ultimate Aikido Master

With a childish, immature and cursed yet caring personality, Egg was a massive hit amongst the children of the orphanage that they and their twin Wet Sock were born and raised in. In order to protect the children that their twin cared for, the brooding and cynical Wet Sock decided to pick up aikido and self-defense skills, dominating bigger foes in all the tournaments they entered. Shouldering the burden of hearing the twin’s primary defense mechanism (read: cursed comments), Myth quickly bonded with Egg, thanks to their shared interest in caring for others. Myth tried to bond with Wet Sock, but because of them being tsundere, Myth only gets judo thrown in response.

Egg’s Outfit: Part of their hair tied up with a yellow scrunchie, a green hoodie with yellow sleeves, a fanny pack colored like their original shirt, black shorts, long yellow socks, green light-up-shoes, glasses from original design.

Wet Sock’s Outfit: Same outfit from the original, but with black aikido pants and matching sandals.

Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Supreme Leader/Assassin

With the dubious and odd title of “Jr. Ultimate Supreme Leader” and an enigmatic and stone-faced personality, almost nothing is known about this mysterious Jr. Ultimate, not even what their talent entails. What Myth and the majority of the media don’t know, is that Curious is that his title is actually the Jr. Ultimate Assassin and is current throneholder of a secret underground religious cult that is particularly known for brainwashing and teaching their children how to assassinate potential religious rivals. Luckily, Myth was fortunate enough to not cross paths frequently with Curious, for she would definitely try to adopt the preteen assassin with a messed-up upbringing, if she ever catches wind of the truth.

Outfit: A simple white robe with a green sash indicating leadership that hides their assassination weapons.

Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Inventor

Being a mechanical genius born in a country that was ravished by a massive war, Nerd was quickly sent to work in manufacturing and inventing brand-new weapons for his nation’s army. This past has given him a hair-trigger temper and a hatred for being interrupted, when he is in the middle of inventing. And yet no matter how many scouter-burns she suffers in the process, she never remembers that little tidbit of information about, when she comes barging into Nerd’s lab with his dinner, much to the rage of the easily-enraged inventing prodigy. But beneath the foul mouth and even-fouler temper, could Nerd have fallen for Myth’s kind and earnest attitude, despite being very annoying?

Outfit: Black armor that covers everything apart from his head, and the scouter from his original design.

Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Pianist

Videos of a person garbed entirely in black and playing self-composed pieces have been springing up on the internet for the past year or so, and despite the mysterious person attempting to make absolutely sure that he wasn’t found, Hope‘s Peak found the true identity of the online piano prodigy: Eldritch Anon, a former piano champion, who has since retreated to the shadows in growing anxiety and fear. Whenever Eldritch thinks about anything he wants or needs, Myth would always be right behind him with his want or need in tow. Because of that, Eldritch now wears a tinfoil hat on his head at all times, to prevent Myth’s psychic powers from reaching him, to no avail. 

Outfit: A black marching band outfit with white music note buttons, over a grey hood-up hoodie patterned with black sheet music, white gloves, tall black boots.

Dream Anon, Ultimate Magician

With infectious childlike cheer and unstoppable charisma on stage, Dream’s magical performances are truly a sight to behold, whether you’re a child or an adult. Dream has recently employed Myth as her magical assistant, and Myth regularly roped Dream out of trouble, just in case her magical performances go awry. But at the same time, Dream also took on sort of a mentor role to the maid. While Myth has entertained several guests with some minor parlor tricks, Myth would love to learn all about how Dream accomplishes all of her large-scale and stupendous, and how Myth can learn them herself. If Myth learns from the best, she would be able to entertain way more guests.

Outfit: A black and pink top hat, a black coat and white gloves over a pink vest, an orange bow tie and a white dress shirt, a pink skirt, grey stockings, and black tap shoes.

Iris Anon, Jr. Ultimate Cosplayer

Having been a regular consumer of fiction ever since she was little, she picked up sewing and fashion design from her parents and eventually began making accurate-to-the-show cosplay items, ranging from simple accessories to full-blown outfits. Despite being really clumsy when it comes to everything else, Iris is amazing at handicrafts. Myth and Iris consider each other “sewing buddies”, for their shared interests in sewing outfits and other such handicrafts. Iris regularly lets Myth model her cosplay, for they are about the same height and have the same proportions. Iris would be lying if she said she hadn’t tried sticking cat ears or dragon horns on Myth when she wasn’t looking. 

Outfit: Hair down with a heart barrette on each side of her head, a pink jacket with sewing supplies in her pockets and on her sleeves over a seira fuku with a red ribbon and a blue skirt, black stockings and red Mary Janes.

Purple Anon, Ultimate Adventurer

As the daughter of two famous and affluent ambassadors, Purple has been to practically every corner of the globe. Because of her travels, Purple regularly talks in archaic terms mixed with the insertion of gratuitous foreign vocabulary into her sentences, which means that the majority of the Anons can‘t understand a word coming out of her mouth. Purple is also stunningly timid for the daughter of two ambassadors, and often hides behind Anons that are bigger than her for when she doesn’t want to be seen by the crowds. Even if Myth can’t understand much of what comes out of Purple’s mouth, Myth still loves seeing Purple slowly but surely come out of her shell and talk about her travels.

Outfit: The beret from her original design, a dark purple overcoat and brown gloves over the sweater from her original design, lighter purple pants, brown boots, a brown carrier bag.

This AU will center around the maid getting helped for once, much to her protests.

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PERSONALITY

Despite her less-than-stellar past, Maid!Myth has a cheery and energetic attitude that belies (and bolsters) her sheer aptitude as a maid and her joy is described as “infectious” amongst Wyre’s family. With definite “mom energy”, Maid!Myth always comes prepared with the wants and needs for each and everyone of the Kibo-Con attendees, and seems to have an almost telepathic ability to whatever they all want, which unnerves a couple of the Anons (namely Eldritch, Scar, and Purple). Even though she overworks herself to a fault and everyone constantly tells to take a break from her work, she constantly shoulders every burden and duty placed upon her, in hopes that they won’t abandon her, just like every other family before Wyre’s family. This gave her a case of “chronic hero syndrome”.

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APPEARANCE

Maid!Myth’s naturally brown hair is tied in a prim and proper bun, complete with a white and light pink French-maid style headdress. As for the rest of her clothing, Myth wears a white and light pink French Maid dress with the only exception to the “white and light pink style” being a ribbon around her waist with a pink-to-purple-blue gradient, purple socks and red Mary Janes.

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I hope you like this AU! Let me know what you think of the AU and its roles in your reblogs!

[brabe]

WHAT IF... MURATA UGETSU HAS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER?

“Murata Ugetsu was by no means detached from life- nor was he free of worries and grief, he had feelings too- the same as anyone else... But, unlike ordinary people, his heart and his emotions were overflowing.

While I listened to Ugetsu’s music that day—to the sudden flood of music-feeling that was amplified so many times more than usual, I found myself wondering — how... just how was this child prodigy able to live...?

Be it joy, or sorrow, or suffering, Ugetsu lived with feelings which were much more complex, and exponentially larger than those of ordinary people- just accumulating it all within himself.” (Chapter 17)

Murata Ugetsu’s introduction struck a chord with me right away because I recognized the feelings described all too well. So, I asked myself, what if?

 After finishing the anime, I read all the chapters of the manga mainly because I wanted to know more about this intriguing character, and I only kept finding clues that reinforced my initial assumption.

 I am hyperfixated on mental health issues, in part wanting to find characters to relate to, so here is my reading of Murata Ugetsu. I wonder if anyone came to the same conclusion as me.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is an illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behaviour. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships with other people. A person with borderline personality disorder may experience episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from a few hours to days. In general, someone with a personality disorder will differ significantly from an average person in terms of how they think, perceive, feel or relate to others.

“People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.” (Marsha Linehan, Professof of Psicology, who has BPD herself and developed the most effective therapy to date for this disorder).

There are many categories of symptoms for this disorder and I reckon Ugetsu manifests the following:

A pattern of unstable relationships swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation):

The most glaringly obvious one is, of course, the relationship with Akihiko. 

“Right after Ugetsu has been away from home for some time, there is a honeymoon phase which lasts a few days. It’s as if we have returned to the past... And then out of the blue, it happens—as if he’s saying, yes, this is a great chance—let's take this opportunity, quit being together and break for real this time. Like he is in a rush... Like I am not needed. Like—he is forcibly shutting me out from his world.” (Chapter 19)

“Him and I... We have been causing each other nothing but despair for almost two years now.” (Chapter 17)  

It’s also notable the lack of other relationships. When Mafuyu asks him, why Ugetsu was confiding in him, even though they were virtually strangers, Ugetsu replies: “Because I don’t have any friends! Perhaps, I really just wanted someone to understand... Just a little bit is enough.” (Chapter 17)

He is actually really kind towards Mafuyu, opening his home to him, freely helping him with music anytime Mafuyu wants even though he is a world-renowned musician and even letting him practice at his house while he is not there. We know he does that because he recognizes the genius in Mafuyu, but still, I think he actually would like to have friends; he probably just doesn’t know how to. We know that Akihiko was his first friend and evidently years later still the only one close to him.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger, often followed by guilt and shame:

Ugetsu gets suddenly physically violent with Akihiko two times (and a third one is implied when Haruki first saw Akihiko and he had a bruised cheekbone). He throws a glass on the floor when Mafuyu visits him because Akihiko still hasn’t come back home. He seemingly inexplicably smashes the mug Akihiko gifted him: “Around the time we had just started to live together, when he brought me my first present, somehow... I hated that very much, and I refused it saying—’I don’t want it!’ Even though it was only a mug. Back then, I should’ve just said—’I’m happy. I want to be with him.’” (Chapter 17)

I believe the last one was a dissociative episode, another symptom of BPD, a trance-like state in which one is disconnected from their own mind, body and surroundings. Then the switch turns back on and Ugetsu suddenly starts crying, crouching on the floor, staring blankly at the broken pieces and picking them up, asking himself why, just why did I do this?

The guilt and shame aspect is also shown, when after having recounted his history with Akihiko to Mafuyu, Ugetsu leans his head on the steering wheel of his car remembering everything, clearly in grief, and thinking to himself: “Really... He is a good guy, isn’t he.” (Chapter 17). Here I want to indeed praise Akihiko and underline how well he dealt with Ugetsu’s dissociative episode. He didn’t freak out and lash out at Ugetsu, calling him crazy, but instead he tried to diffuse the situation, laughing and helping Ugetsu to pick up the pieces of the broken mug. As if to say, ‘it’s okay.’

Desperate efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment:  

One way of doing this is leaving the other person before they leave you, which is exactly what Ugetsu does or tries to do. He is terrified that Akihiko will leave him definitely one day, but at the same time he actively tries to make him leave: “I’m the lowest son of a bitch towards Akihiko and I guess he resents me, y’know... But I love him to death.” (Chapter 17)

“I’ve been pushing him away but he hasn’t given up on me at all. I’ve been trying to leave him every chance I get. But it seems like I’m still not good at doing that, so... I’ve always been waiting for him to let go of me.” (Chapter 17)

“What if he never came back, just like that? I’ve thought about it countless times. Yet, I’m still not able to imagine it. Tomorrow, he might come back all of a sudden? Or maybe he won’t? But, just the same, I want this suffering to end. But on second thought, I don’t really want that. All the stuff that’s in this room right now, the thought that everything might disappear... Will nothing... Not one thing remain?” (Chapter 27)

Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self:  

It’s fair to say the core obstacle in his relationship with Akihiko. Ugetsu’s whole existence is ingrained irrevocably in music. It is what gives his life purpose and the outlet with which he deals with his too intense emotions. Which leads me to wonder what would happen if for some reason he lost music. And I am not positive he would survive that.

“After we graduated from high school—at the time, when I was actively performing as a musician... one day all of a sudden I realized, the existence of the other—was the one thing we both chased after the most in this world. As long as Akihiko is with me, I’ll be unable to become free with my music.” (Chapter 17)

Ugetsu felt as if he was losing himself and his music in his love for Akihiko, which brings to the unstable sense of self. This terrified him. Love is messy for everyone and anyone but with BPD emotions are plugged into an amplifier and dialled up to the maximum (“But for my heart to be touched like that”). He can’t deal with all of this and the fight-or-flight response is triggered and “Let’s end this already.” (Chapter 17)

Black-or-white thinking:  

People with BPD often struggle to see the complexity in people and situations and are unable to recognize that things are often not either perfect or horrible, but are something in between. This can lead to "splitting," which refers to an inability to maintain a cohesive set of beliefs about oneself and others. Ugetsu seems to be obsessed with perfection and probably to be a world-renowned violinist you need to be to a certain degree. But for example, when asked by Akihiko to come to the band’s first live, he replies with: “Is it at a level that you can show me? Ah... it’s not at a level where you can reply to me right away... then, I won’t come. There’s no point watching a performance if the performer doesn’t have the confidence to do it well.” (Chapter 8)

Ugetsu doesn’t exist in the in-betweens. There is pefection or worthlessness, love or hate, music or Akihiko.

Depression:

Ugetsu manifests many symptoms of depression.

He is either practicing the violin or sleeping. 

He seems to undereat. Almost in every panel in which they are at home, Akihiko worries about whether Ugetsu has eaten or not, and always offers to cook for him, implying that Ugetsu wouldn’t bother if left to his own devices.  

He is untidy and careless to some degree. At the violin concerto where Ugetsu is the soloist, Akihiko exclaims: “Again? That idiot... His hair is a mess.” (Chapter 15) implying that it isn’t the first time that Ugetsu appears somewhat shabby at a formal event, in which furthermore he is the star. This fact in particular surprised me because I had the impression that Ugetsu was vain.

This neglectfulness also reflects in his living space. Once Akihiko leaves, the house is in complete disarray. When Akihiko comes back to say he will move out, the debris of the glass Ugetsu smashed when Mafuyu visited are still there.

Last but not least, Ugetsu lives in a soundproofed basement in semidarkness, a fortress of solitude of sorts from the outside world.

Suicidal thoughts or threats:  

“Well, when I was a kid, I used to go to some unknown old man’s plantation on my own, and I enjoyed killing bugs by squishing them with my right hand, y’know... Then, on one clear sunny day, I happened to listen to some music playing on that old man’s radio. It was ‘In the flow of time’ by Paul Simon... Yet even though I was only a kid, I thought, wow... I want to die... It’s a good day, isn’t it? Well, there were other things too, but somehow, I wonder If I’ve basically been chasing that feeling of dying from back then...” (Chapter 21.5)

Well, this passage speaks for itself. In some capacity Ugetsu has been pondering on death, has been chasing it, since he was a small child. I think this can be linked to the BPD symptom of chronic feelings of emptiness.

Impulsive, self-destructive and sensation-seeking behaviours:  

In this category I think we can include the sleeping around in which Ugetsu engages. While not a harmful behaviour in itself, I think the motive is. Ugetsu has been systematically sleeping around for two years not because he actually wants to and it makes him feel good, but he does it to spite Akihiko and as a coping mechanism to try and get over him. This wouldn’t do good to anyone’s mental health and self-worth.

“Ugetsu and I fought all the time, even after we broke up. That... was because of his timing when it came to finding a new man... It was as though he was doing to spite me.” (Chapter 19)

Intense and highly changeable moods:

Simply, all of the above.

This is all for now. I will edit this list if future chapters will shed more light on the mind and heart of this character that I have come to care so deeply about.

[jedivszombie]

HI! For f1 asks - 5 (+9 if you could give me some recs), 12, 13, 23, 28, 32, 33 sorry if its kinda a lot you dont have to answer all of them!!!

HI ANONYMOOSE! Thank you for the ask, I hope you see my answers and I apologise for replying a few days late! I once again ended up writing essays so you will find my answers under the cut! I hope you enjoy them!

it’s hump day: let’s talk about F1 baybee

5. Are there any movies or documentaries you would recommend to understand F1 better?

So I actually have not watched loads of F1 films or documentaries but I have watched a few that I think give an interesting and varied perspective on some things. 

Grand Prix (1966), this is a film and a very good film at that! It has a lot of drivers from that era who make cameos and comprise the background drivers - so it’s really cool to see them. The story is interesting and the direction and cinematography is top notch! It gives you a really good idea of what older cars and circuits and safety used to be like, albeit in a dramatised way. There are also a lot of nods to how teams like Ferrari etc used to be at the time. 

Race to Perfection (2020), this is a recent documentary mini series that is made up of a bunch of different episodes that cover different aspects of F1 and its history. There’s stuff about how the cars have developed since the 50s, there’s episodes about Schumi and Ayrton and all sorts. Also a lot of ex drivers and people who were involved with teams are interviewed so it’s interesting to hear from them about how situations unfolded or to reflect on some of their glory days. It is worth mentioning though that some of the people being interviewed have a vested interest in coming across a certain way (I’m looking at you Ron), or are choosing to remember things in a certain way. BUT it’s a great starting point for a good overview of different aspects of the sport and how it has evolved. 

Grand Prix Driver (2018), is a really good insight to McLaren starting to rebuild under Zak Brown. It follows Fernando and Stoffel during the 2017 season and gives some interesting insight to how one of the most successful and well known teams in the sport started to change their image and rebuild to how we know them now. 

I would also recommend trying to watch as many Ted’s Notebooks and Weekend Debriefs as you can find - Ted Kravitz hosts both of these shows and they cover a lot of interesting aspects from races that have happened and explain a lot of technical and complex concepts in a really accessible way. They talk about the drivers abilities, the way the cars are developing, the politics of the sport and other very interesting and key aspects of F1 to be aware of if you would like a broader understanding of the sport outside of just the racing and drivers personalities. 

There are definitely loads more documentaries and things you can watch but these are the ones I have personally watched and enjoyed. I have a few more on my list that I would like to watch, such as Grand Prix: The Killer Years and the McLaren doc about Bruce McLaren. 

9. Could you recommend anyone?

I think this is related to F1 YouTubers? I pretty much only follow Chainbear on YouTube in terms of F1 YouTubers. Out of Context F1 has a lot of good little clips and snippets of older footage from drivers - a lot of it is more on the meme side/funnier side but there are sometimes interesting clips from interviews there as well. 

The other F1 YouTube content I look at is the team’s socials or the stuff from F1 itself and older interviews/features with drivers etc that I can find. 

12. Which was the first driver you supported?

The first driver I supported was Schumi - my Dad is a MASSIVE Schumi fan and I have been watching since I was very very small and Schumi was very much involved and on a climb upwards. 

The first driver I actually chose to support myself was Fernando Alonso, it was my minor act of rebellion when I was a child. I still loved Schumi of course but for some reason I latched onto my man Flonso. I also absolutely loved Jenson too, but again so did my entire family. But those are the first three that I supported and remember supporting. 

13. Which was the first team you supported?

Ferrari baybee! Once you’re in, you can never leave!

The first team I chose to support was BAR Honda though - thank u Jenson.

23. Is there a driver that you think is underrated?

I have written a very long answer to this question here. 

28. Do you have a least favourite team? Which one and why?

Yes I do have a least favourite team. Red Bull is my least favourite team. I mean no shade to the engineers and mechanics and people working for the team because they are doing their jobs and doing their best. BUT I do not like their management in the slightest my god. I could rant about Red Bull for days but my main issue is the extremely toxic duo of Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. A lot of people talk extensively about the long list of Red Bull Juniors they have fucked over or passed over for the next big thing or not given proper chances to or actively fucked over (e.g. Buemi, Hartley, Sainz Jr, Gasly, Albon). But really you only have to look at the insane treatment that Jean-Eric Vergne and Daniil Kvyat endured during their time there. JEV was hospitalised trying to keep his weight down. Marko actively trashed him in the press and said he was lazy. There were jokes and comments about Daniil being on ‘shoelace watch’ after his demotion from Red Bull. Sure, if they drop you from the F1 team they will usually still sponsor you in your other series or help you find somewhere to land or even keep you on as a development/test/sim driver but at what cost? 

I know it’s F1 and I know the sport is brutal and to an extent there is always someone getting fucked over in teams or by the sport. I don’t expect drivers to be coddled but I do think more should be discussed about drivers mental health and the ways in which teams either help or do not help with that. Personally I would rather the guys behind the wheels of the super fast cars are actually feeling comfortable in their position in the sport and not super desperate because that’s hella dangerous for them and everyone else on track. BUT with Red Bull it’s more than a worrying pattern, it speaks to an entire culture and is downright neglectful at best and abusive at worst. 

Also fuck Haas, they fall under a similar toxic culture from management in my opinion. 

32. Which one is your favourite team principle and why?

I wrote my answer out in a previous ask here.

But I also just wanna do an honourable shout out to my man Franz Tost, he’s been putting in the work with the Red Bull Juniors and managing to nurture quite a few of them to success over the past decade and keeping a rather chaotic ship running - sure he’s not perfect but he’s been doing a pretty dope job, their treatment of Daniil aside.

33. Do you have a favourite team principle duo or ship?

I also answered this question here.

[bestmechanicaustin]

Best Bicycle Services and Cost in Austin TX |Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin

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Bicycle Services At Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin Bicycle Services near Austin TX: Bicycles are refined pieces of advanced engineering. Like any precision machine, bicycles benefit greatly from regular service and maintenance. Bikes that are regularly used can easily develop less than optimum function in multiple systems without their rider noticing the incremental changes that occur over time during use. Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin, even bicycles that are not regularly used can develop issues from sitting that affect their overall performance and their owner’s enjoyment of them. While much of the basic maintenance can be done with a few tools, anything more can require special tools and training to ensure the best results. Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin, why invest in a high quality bicycle unless you are going to provide the care necessary to keep it in prime working condition? 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Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin, a well maintained properly functioning drivetrain ensures that as much of the power you input is felt in the bicycle’s output as possible. Tires and Wheels- Ride Quality, Traction and Handling Everything changes gradually on your bike. Not only from riding, but also from age which causes rubber to dry, lose elasticity and grip, and can cause greases and oils to break down. This can be very hard for many riders to sense causing them to ride components till they are well past their prime. Tires are consumable components which need regular replacement and wheels need basic maintenance to help ensure that they function properly and have a long life. They should be inspected before every ride to make sure that they have sufficient rubber, are inflated to the right pressure, have no cords showing, and no visible cracks. 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I use a strategy of learning to address your individual needs, which will make you more comfortable on your bike. Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin will work with you to understand your goals of riding, physical limitations, injuries, strength, flexibility, and range of motion, to create an ideal position that brings health, not pain, to the body. Through a process of education about position, form, alignment and balance, I will help you begin a new understanding of your relationship with your bike. Bicycle fitting Bicycle fitting is the process of adjusting a bike for a cyclist to optimize their comfort, performance and efficiency. Cyclists often experience overuse injuries such as cyclist's palsy, cyclist back, and Anterior Knee Pain. and this is often due to an incorrectly set up cycle. Bike fitting aims to prevent injuries, increase efficiency, comfort and improve performance for all cyclists. Bike fitting is for anybody who cycles, particularly if an overuse injury has occurred, to maximise their enjoyment and performance. Indication Bike fitting is for anybody who cycles. A good bicycle fit goes a long way to prevent overuse injuries and helps muscles and lungs function at best ability, all improving performance and enjoyment. ● everyday cyclists ● touring cyclists ● tri-athletes ● Clinical Presentation who complain of: buttock; back; lower limb; upper limb and neck pain associated with cycling. Often the cyclist may have tried pressure garments to relieve areas of pressure eg gel pads in gloves, gel seat covers, upright handlebars. Often these are a band aid solution to an incorrectly fitted cycle.

To fit or not to fit? Bicycle Services near Austin TX: There are of course ways to set up your bike position yourself and this is still what most people do. There are plenty of handy online guides out there if you don’t feel you want to splash out on a bike fit. The decision whether to get a fit or not will also depend on how seriously you take your cycling. If you are riding purely for fun and perhaps use your bike infrequently using an online guide will be fine. However, if you are looking to race or ride sports then it’s certainly something to at least consider. One way to look at a bike fit is as an investment. It’ll certainly start you off on the right foot as it were. If you do go for a fit, ensure you do your research first. Bear in mind that as you develop and change as a rider (weight loss, increased flexibility, core strength) your position may change too. It’s a fluid, dynamic ongoing process. Many top pros regularly tinker with their position as they evolve as riders. Ultimately it’s up to you. You certainly don’t need a bike fit as most of us (including myself) have got to where we are using trial and error and a basic knowledge of the ideal set up, as well as taking advice from experienced riders. But, if you have the budget, are serious about your cycling and keen to ‘fast forward’ through the trial and error phase and want to fully optimize your cycling efficiency, then go ahead. Visit your local Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin to learn about their bike fit services. Happy riding!

The Importance Of A Good Saddle Seat And Why You Have To Change It Bicycle Services near Austin TX: Pain from your bicycle seat doesn't have to come with the territory. Pain in the saddle can be an indication of many things, including an incorrectly sized seat, inadequate padding and poor positioning. Diagnosing your saddle pain and correcting it can help you enjoy your ride without worrying about potentially damaging any sensitive tissue. A correction to your saddle position could also improve your pedaling efficiency, giving you more power on those tough hills. Sizing Up Your Seat Eliminating saddle pain starts with a correctly sized seat that properly distributes your weight. More padding isn't the solution; you want your contact point with the saddle to be directly on your sit bones, which jut out from your pelvis underneath the flesh of your buttocks. To find your sit bones, try sitting on a table or other flat surface. The two points that contact this surface most firmly are your sit bones. Find a saddle with a width that matches these contact points. Most bike shops have an accredited bike fitter on staff that can assist you in finding the exact measurement. Less Is More With too much cushioning, you may be distributing your weight between your legs, where pressure and vibration can damage sensitive tissue. A good bicycle seat uses high-density foam that matches your sit bones and provides good cushioning without improperly cradling your weight. A channel down the center of some bike seats eliminates contact altogether, which can relieve saddle-related pain or numbness. Finding the right balance between cushion and support is key to eliminating your pain, so don't be afraid to ask to try a few saddles at your local bike shop. Sitting Pretty The proper position in your bicycle seat can make a big difference in your comfort. With your bike leaned up against a wall, mount your seat and rotate the pedals so that one crank is pointed straight to the floor. While seated, your knee should be just slightly bent and you shouldn't be straining to reach the pedals. Now that your seat is correct, lean forward, grab the handlebars and adjust your stem height until the position is natural and your neck isn't craning. If you can't get your positioning right, check that your bike frame is the correct size by matching your inseam to the manufacturer's sizing chart. If it isn't correct and you do a lot of cycling, it's worth your time to try and get a properly sized bike. Finding a Short Solution A pair of cycling shorts is a necessity for rides further than a few miles. All professional cyclists use them, and they come in a wide variety of price ranges, styles and materials. Cycling shorts have a chamois pad built in that provides extra cushion when you're in the saddle and can relieve a lot of issues associated with cycling such as soreness, chafing and numbness. If you want to get the most out of your ride, coupling your seat with a pair of cycling shorts is the safest and most comfortable way to ride.

TIPS 5 Bicycle Fit Tips That’ll Improve Your Comfort and Power Bicycle Services near Austin TX: How you position yourself on the bike makes a huge difference in terms of comfort, power, and aerodynamics. While it’s a good idea for all cyclists and triathletes to get a professional bike fit, there are some basic guidelines you can use to troubleshoot problem areas and generally set yourself up in a neutral position. The goal is to achieve a position that allows you to ride your bike without creating any injuries and one that will allow you to ride your bike for years. As an added bonus, the right fit will also make you more efficient and powerful. Try a Saddle Before You Buy Finding the right saddle can be a bit of a process because it’s important to find the curvature, width, and shape that is comfortable for you. Saddles with more curvature (and/or a channel down the center) are often great for athletes who have limited flexibility through the hips and lower back. The curvature allows you to rotate your hips forward more easily without putting too much pressure on sensitive areas. The width and amount of padding in the saddle also have a big impact on comfort and performance. Finding the right saddle may take some time and some trial and error, so work with your local bike shop – many have a loaner program – so you don’t have to make a huge financial investment. A quick ride in the parking lot is often not enough to tell you whether a saddle will work for you in the long run Determining Saddle Setback Move the saddle forward or backward so your knee is over the pedal spindle when the crank is in the 3 o’clock position. Again, this is a good starting point, and then you can adjust your cleats fore and aft as needed. Use your thumb to feel the ball of your foot on the inside of your shoe. With a pen, put a small mark on this point of your shoe so you can set the cleat using this as a landmark. Basics of Setting Saddle Height While you can dial this in perfectly with a professional fit, here are some guidelines for roughly setting up your saddle height. These are especially useful when you have to jump on a loaner bike or even a bike in a hotel fitness center. Start with the saddle in a level position, parallel to the floor. Sitting on the saddle, pedal with your heels on the pedals. Your foot should maintain contact with the pedal without having to rock your hips. Pay Attention to the Shoe-Pedal Connection The pedals are your third point of contact with the bike.  It’s important that the platform is large enough to feel secure (not like you’re standing on ice cubes). And the most critical piece will be adjusting the cleats properly, to make sure you have a stable and tight shoe to pedal connection that will ensure optimal power transfer and allow you to ride injury-free. As a general starting point for many riders, you can set the middle indicator on the cleat slightly back, about 5mm, from the ball of your foot. The angling of cleats and the lateral distance they are set from the crank (Q-factor) is dependent on each rider’s individual body structure, however, you want to make sure you don’t feel any twisting or tension in the ankles, knees, and hips while pedaling. You can start with the cleats set straight ahead and make minor adjustments from there. Note that each foot could require different angling. Handlebar Width and Reach Makes a Difference Bicycle Services near Austin TX: With the handlebar, look at the drop and the width of the bars. If you have relatively small hands or a shorter torso, look for a shallow drop bar. The width of the bar should match the width of your shoulders, which will keep your arms in a neutral position when your hands are on the brake hoods. You also want to ensure the handlebar reach is neither too long or short, as it can cause neck, shoulder, back pain, and compromise bike handling. You should be able to reach the hoods with a comfortable bend in the elbows without feeling like you need to scoot your body forward or backward on the saddle.

COST Bicycle Services near Austin TX: All bicycle services are carried out using professional bicycle tools, greases, and lubricants. Prices quoted for services are estimates only. Thus, prices may vary if other problems are found during the service. If the price variation is significant we will contact you for approval - otherwise we will go ahead with the repairs. Senior bike mechanic has 28 years’ experience in our workshop. Headset repack from $15 Hub repack from $20 Gear adjustment from $25 Brake adjustment from $12.50 Precision wheel truing from $20 Disc brake wheel truing from $22.5 Disc brake bleeding from $25/brake Recoil a dropout from $30 Fit a tube and/or tyre from $10 Recoil a crank arm from $30 Bicycle service from $79 Fit a bottom bracket from $25 BMX bicycles from $49 Fit a chain from $10 Geared bicycles from $79 Re tap a bottom bracket from $25 Frame strip and rebuild from $130 Fit a headset from $20 Annual overhaul from $130 Disc brake truing from $15 Precision wheel building from $37.50 Reface disc mounts from $20 Realign a frame from $25 Reface a bottom bracket from $25 Fit a suspension fork from $35 Disc brake adj & clean from $25 Pack a bike in a box from $30     Flat tire repair – $18 (inner tube replacement included) Bicycle Assembly – $55 Includes assembly, basic tune-up, fitting and free adjustments Basic tune up – $70 ● Safety check ● General cleaning ● Brake and derailleur adjustment ● Adjust bottom bracket, headset and hubs ● Clean and lubricate chain and derailleurs ● True wheels (on-bike) Tune Up Plus – $100 ● Includes everything in the basic tune-up plus thorough cleaning (replacement parts extra) Specific part overhauls – $25/per part Complete overhaul and cleaning (November thru March only) – $150 (a great deal!) ● Bring your bike to a Like-New condition and save $100s (replacement parts extra) Prices quoted for services are estimates only. Thus, prices may vary if other problems are found during the service. If the price variation is significant we will contact you for approval - otherwise we will go ahead with the repairs. Senior bike mechanic has 28 years’ experience in our workshop. Standard bicycle service Our standard bike service includes: ● Alignment of derailleur hanger and adjustment of gears and lubing of gear cables. ● Adjustment of brakes and lubing of brake cables. ● Measure chain for stretch and report on life. ● Lube chain and all pivot points. ● Adjustment of wheel bearings, headset bearings, and bottom bracket bearings. ● General check on tension of all bolts and screws. ● Inflation of tires to recommended pressure. ● Minor in frame wheel truing. ● Alignment of handlebars ● General clean ● Test ride Annual overhaul ● An annual overhaul includes everything in the Standard Bicycle Service plus the following. ● Full clean, grease, and repack of both front and rear hubs. ● Full clean, grease, and adjustment of the bottom bracket. ● Full clean, grease, and repack of the headset. ● Full clean and relube of the drivetrain. ● Test Ride. Wheel Truing All bike wheel repairs are carried out using either DT, Sapim, or Wheelsmith plain gauge or double butted spokes. The double butted spokes can be either plain stainless steel or black.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Can I come in and work on my own bike? Yes! Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin offers do-it-yourself access where we provide you with tools, parts, and guidance so you are able to service your bicycle yourself. No experience is necessary as long as you are actually able to do the work yourself. And there is no cost for DIY service access but we ask for at least a $15 donation an hour to Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin Coop for the bicycle stand and tools used. Most DIY tune-ups take about an hour per bicycle. If you are interested in working on your own bike, you are most welcome at the Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin shop on Wednesdays 6-9pm, Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 12-5pm.

How much to get my dusty bike in rideable shape? Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin offers full tune-ups for $75 excluding part replacements, please see our Additional Repair Services page for more information.

What is the turnaround time for bike repairs? Anywhere from next day to a week during peak season.

I’m having problems with my bike. Do you know what the problem is? How much does a repair like this run? We can’t say for sure without you bringing the bike to the shop. Please refer all questions to the Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin shop manager at 703-549-1108.

Can I sell my used bikes or parts to Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin Coop? Sorry, Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin does not purchase used bicycles or parts. However, because of our 501c3 non-profit status, Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin can provide you a tax deductible receipt for any material or financial donations you wish to make.

Do you require appointments? Nope!

Do you do mobile repairs? Sorry, Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin currently does not have the capacity to support our customer base through mobile repairs. Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin does support bike rodeos where we visit local schools and affordable housing in underserved neighborhoods. For more information, please see the Community Services pages on the Mobile Auto Truck Repair Austin website.

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[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Drop the lyric by lyric breakdown for Evie + Mirrorball & This Is Me Trying

 wellll if you insist lmao!  Putting this below the cut because like... no one deserves to have to scroll past the entire thing if they don’t want to lmao

I’m going to start with Mirrorball bc it’s more the overall vibes and some lyrics whreas This Is My Trying is like, every other lyric oof!

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

okay so like right off the bat, the idea of the mirrorball as a concept is very fitting to Evie — she exists in other people’s light and reflects everyone around her, especially early on.  We see this a lot with Blair, where Evie finds comfort in just existing in Blair’s world and mirroring her (but being nicer lmao) because as long as she’s a reflection of Blair, she isn’t Evie, and that protects her in a lot of ways.  She’s so terrified of not being enough and being hated and being judged that she finds comfort in that mask because if people don’t like her then it’s the mask that they don’t like, not Evie herself.  This is very much tied into her mental health issues and part of her recovery process is letting people see who she is without the mask

I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful And when I break it's in a million pieces

as I’m sure you know, “when I break, it’s in a million pieces” could basically sum up her entire story.  Evie manages to hold it together through a lot of really awful, traumatizing shit, but when she reaches her breaking point, she absolutely shatters.  Part of why most of the people who know she’s been in the Ostroff Centre are so surprised is because basically no one realized that she’s actually been breaking for a long time. 

Hush When no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you Hush I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you

Okay so this obviously makes me think of my boy Theo bc he’s an angel, but it fits the two of them really well because Theo has always seen past Evie’s mask.  They’ve been best friends for their entire lives, and he’s really one of the few people that Evie trusts enough to be herself around!  No matter what happens, when it’s just the two of them (or with Eric lmao, we love our codependent children) she can really just let down all of her walls and be Evie, and “evie who feels safe enough to just be evie” is exactly who Theo fell in love with

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I can change everything about me to fit in

Oof the way this fits her just hurts me tbh!  This goes back to what I was saying at the beginning, but Evie is an actress.  Prior to her breakdown, she had always intended to become an actress.  If there is one thing Evie can do, it’s pretend to be someone — anyone — else.  Whether it’s to fit in, or to protect herself, or just because she doesn’t know how to be herself, changing herself based on her surroundings is something that has become so natural to her that she doesn’t even realize she does it.

You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

We’re going back to Theo with this, but frankly this also very much fits with Eric, Blair, and Chuck, even Nate, and tbh even Serena.  This is the Upper East Side; this is gossip girl.  Watching people falling or being torn apart is everyone’s favourite form of entertainment, and the more public, the better.  But Evie has this small group of people, her family, who don’t enjoy it.  Ivy Week, as you know, is the perfect example of how even the fights between the NJBC get put on hold for the sake of protecting the younger siblings.  Serena’s horror during the dinner with Georgina, Blair not sending the texts between Eric and Asher until Eric gives her the go-ahead, Chuck dropping everything whenever Evie is in trouble, Nate making a deal with Catherine to protect Theo, like... They’re all generally self-serving people who don’t hesitate to screw each other over, but all four of them will put aside any of their own issues and any fights they may be having in order to protect the babies — especially when it comes to protecting them from the rest of the UES society who would be all too happy to watch the golden children be torn apart

Hush When no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you Hush I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you

(already broke this one down lmao)

And they called off the circus Burned the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns

This one is more the overall vibe than the specific lyrics but you know how I feel about Evie in the housewarming party episode and honestly this just makes me think of how it ends with Serena still pissed at Lily and Bart and now also pissed at Evie for “giving in” and trying to act like a family (as Evie would say, “Chuck and Eric are my family, it’s the three of you who need to step up to the plate”), and she storms out which leads to a very abrupt end to the party, with Evie still sitting on the couch just kind of frozen because she was trying so fucking hard to hold everyone together and to make this work and it still feels like it wasn’t enough, like she wasn’t enough

I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me

This takes on a bit of a double meaning for Evie because it fits really well with Evie wanting to be an actress and even during and after her breakdown, when she’s no longer sure if that’s what she wants, she still keeps going through the motions to work towards that goal because she really doesn’t know how else to be

But it also fits really well with Evie in her legal family (her bio family, the Van Der Basses, and the Van Der Humphreys) — Evie is always the one trying to put her own issues aside for the sake of her family.  She keeps quiet about things that hurt or upset her because she doesn’t want to cause problems, she’s the one who just quietly accepts Lily’s relationships no matter how much she hates them because she knows that at the end of the day, Lily will always put her boyfriends first.  Hell, when Lily and Rufus get closer, Evie tries to put her issues with Jenny behind her to make things easier for everyone else.  Even in S3 when Jenny is tormenting her at school (Evie is the queen and everyone knows it, and she’s managed to put a stop to a lot of the drama, but Jenny is still trying to overthrow her and bring back all the shitty politics so that she can be on top), Evie just quietly takes it and refuses to tell anyone or retaliate until Jenny goes after Eric.  

I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try

oof this is just... so Evie.  For people like the NJBC, all the politics and scheming and everything comes naturally, but so does the effortlessly flawless illusion they put up.  They turn seeming perfect into an art form, and the only time it takes any work is when they’re also trying to destroy each other.  Evie has never felt like she has that.  She doesn’t turn heads and part crowds just by walking into a room, she doesn’t have Serena’s magnetism or Blair’s ability to always get the last word, or Chuck’s “do not fuck with me” vibe, or Nate’s ability to convince people that he’s fine.  She tries so hard and always feels like she comes up short, but she just keeps trying.

“I’m still a believer but I don’t know why” also fits really well with both the fact that Evie always tries to see the best in people, even when they’ve hurt her, and the fact that no matter how many horrible, traumatizing things have happened to her, Evie tries so desperately to hold onto the hope that it’ll eventually be okay

I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything To keep you looking at me

I mean, this one honestly might be the most obvious?  Her eating disorder.  Going back to my last point, Evie doesn’t feel like she has the same natural magnetism or charisma as Serena and Blair.  She doesn’t have the ability to make everyone fall in love with her with a smile (at least in her mind; Theo would beg to differ).  She looks at her two older sisters who are just so stunning, at the way Blair always looks perfectly put together, at the way Serena can make being a mess look deliberate and desirable, and she feels like she always falls short in comparison, and she goes to dangerous lengths to try to achieve it.

Because I'm a mirrorball I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself Tonight

And woo okay then onto This Is Me Trying, be prepared for some Evie angst!

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

Okay so this sort of goes back to the last point I was making in Mirrorball, with how hard Evie tries to feel like she belongs in the UES, and more importantly how hard she tries to look like she belongs, and that while Evie was always the dreamer and the optimist, she’s starting to lose that as she gets older.

But quite frankly, this relates even more to Serena leaving.  Before that, Evie was always the hopeful one — no matter how flakey Serena got, no matter how often she bailed on her siblings for Georgina and a party, Evie always held onto the hope that Serena still loved them and would still be their sister again, eventually.  But then Serena left, without so much as a goodbye, and that dream shatters for Evie, and she gives up on that hope — and as you know, that plays a big role in her pre-canon breakdown, as does her inability to adjust to not having her sister around, however unreliable she might have been.

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that

Keeping with that last point, this is actually more Serena’s POV about Evie — with how she left things with them, especially with Evie (who she fought with just before meeting Georgina the night of the wedding), she really isn’t sure if Evie would actually want her to come back, and she really does regret the way everything happens (especially as she realizes that she really doesn’t fit into Evie’s family anymore)

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway

This is another bit that’s more about the vibes and images that it gives me than the specific vibe, but the first two lines here always give me the strong vibe of someone standing at the edge of a cliff or rooftop, trying to decide whether or not to jump, and that fits painfully well with Evie and how desperately she tried to hold on through everything that happened pre-canon, no matter how tempting it was to just give in and get away from it all. 

I just wanted you to know That this is me trying I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

Going back to Mirrorball, part of the tragedy of Evie Van Der Woodsen is just how hard she tries, at everything.  She tries to fit in, she tries to be perfect, she tries to be okay, she tries to just keep pushing through every single bad thing that’s happened to her, even as she’s falling apart behind her mask.

They told me all of my cages were mental So I got wasted like all my potential

Again, there are really two meanings to this when it comes to Evie.  First is just... Evie has a hell of a lot of issues, clearly, but people tend to be very dismissive of them.  Once upon a time, Evie used to actually reach out for help, only to get met with “poor little rich girl” and being brushed off because her life seemed so perfect, what could she have to be upset about it?  Eventually Evie starts to believe it too, and her own belief that she has no ‘real’ reason to be upset becomes a big part in her reaching her breaking point.

But also... There was a point when Evie tried to talk to Lily.  She tried to tell her about how not okay she was, and tried to ask Lily for help, but Lily just dismissed her because she wasn’t willing to take responsibility for her own role in Evie’s issues.  It became so consistent for a short period that eventually Evie found herself wondering if maybe she really was overreacting, which in turn led to her not asking anyone else for help or telling anyone else what was wrong — and unfortunately for Evie, this was such a pervasive element of her ongoing breakdown that ultimately no one would be able to help her with the rest of it without first helping her with this, and no one could help because she never told anyone else because she became convinced that she really was just being overly dramatic and sensitive

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that

I know I was just telling you about this (hence, I assume, this ask lmao) but like, this is very Evie.  Evie is the nice one.  Evie chooses to be the nice one.  She could easily destroy basically anyone with a text or two to Gossip Girl, but she actively chooses not to, because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone else the way she’s been hurt.  But when Evie does snap, she’s merciless.  She throws Serena leaving them back in her face when Serena starts talking about how Lily would leave without saying goodbye, she tells Lily that she’s even worse at being a mother than she is at being a wife, she tells Bart that if he wants them to act like a family then he should learn to act like a father, she tells Dan that his complaints about the UES would hold more weight if he were’t so desperate for the advantages that come with it... hell, she gets Chuck off the ledge of the roof by going straight for the kill and reminding him that he promised he wouldn’t leave her — and then by throwing in a “but then again, I’m used to people breaking their promises.”  And afterwards, she always regrets the things she says.  She feels like just because they’re hurting her doesn’t mean she needs to hurt them back.

But the best example I have of this is with Jenny.  In general, Evie does tend to lash out more at Jenny than at most other people, because Jenny hurts her more than most, but more specifically this goes back to what I was saying in Mirrorball about season 3.  Evie holds her tongue as Jenny torments her, because she doesn’t want to cause problems between everyone else.  But then Jenny goes after Eric and Jonathan, and Evie reaches that breaking point — and, well, Evie did learn from the best.  She’s well aware of Eric’s plan to steal her cotillion date, and she helps with that, but more importantly she stops Nate from stepping in.  She waits until the announcer has been informed that Nate will be escorting her and then asks Nate to talk and tells him what’s been going on with Jenny — Nate is furious on her behalf but also doesn’t want to leave Jenny without an escort, at which point Evie pulls out her phone to show him that Eric had just given her an all-clear, that Jenny’s turn had already gone.  Later Evie feels bad for humiliating Jenny like that, but as much as she regrets it, her bigger regret is that she knows that if she had a second chance, she would do the exact same thing.

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here

Evie has always been the exception.  No freshmen at the masquerade — except Evie.  Ivy Week is for juniors — and Evie.  Cotillion is for juniors — and Evie.  So on, so forth.  Because of their connections to the NJBC, and their parents, the twins and Theo have always been able to be ahead of the rest of their classmates.  And most of the time Evie doesn’t mind it, she’d rather do all these things when she has Blair to help her.  But then you get to things like the s3 cotillion and, even though her own was absolutely perfect, watching all of her classmates go through the preparation without her leaves her feeling hollow and disconnected.

(tbh, as far as I’ve been able to tell — though I might be wrong — you can be presented at more than one cotillion, so Evie might end up persuading Lily to let her register again, despite having done it two years ago, more for the connection to her peers than for the actual cotillion aspect)

Pourin' out my heart to a stranger But I didn't pour the whiskey

I mean this one feels like it might seem a bit obvious with regards to pouring her heart out to her therapist, but in all honesty, she never really did.  What it really makes me think of is the scene in Poison Ivy, when Eric, Jenny, Theo, and Evie all talk, and Eric and Evie tell Jenny about the Ostroff Centre and everything.  At this point, Jenny is still basically a stranger to them, but for some reason they both end up opening up to her all the same

And as for “but I didn’t pour the whiskey”, it’s actually a very important part of Evie’s story!  Evie doesn’t drink anything harder than champagne — she’s seen Serena, she knows that Serena’s drinking is more of an addiction that she would ever admit, and she’s terrified of ending up like that, so she just doesn’t drink.  Right up until Chuck disappears after Bart’s funeral — and when Eric is trying to explain to Chuck that they’re still his family and they still want/need him in their lives, the first thing he says to try to drive home his point is to tell Chuck that Evie has started drinking.

I just wanted you to know That this is me trying I just wanted you to know That this is me trying At least I'm trying

(already talked about this!)

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound

This is honestly just an overall vibe for Evie!  I don’t have a specific party in mind or anything (or I do but there are several — namely Jenny’s party, the opera, the housewarming, the masquerade, every thanksgiving, and like many more but I’ll leave it here for now) but Evie has a very hard time with being expected to go to these parties and be totally put together and play the perfect daughter even when she feels like she’s completely falling apart and just wants to curl up in bed for days

It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you

This also applies to a few different situations, both romantic and platonic!  The first scene it made me think of was Jenny’s party, when Evie is still heartbroken over the breakup and then Jenny outs her and it’s just rough.  But it also makes me think of the White Party and how Evie is feeling guilty over her crush on Theo because like, ex boyfriends are off limits, and feeling weird and uncomfortable with Eric having brought Jenny despite the fact that things between Evie and Jenny haven’t gotten better since Jenny outed her.  Honestly though it also really makes me think of the opera in s2 but in a platonic sense, because Chuck is there and all Evie wants is to be able to talk to Chuck and really have her brother back, but Chuck is still holding her at arm’s length because of how guilty he’s feeling at this point for everything that’s happened since Bart’s funeral

You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town

This one gave me more White Party vibes, specifically with the moment that Evie sees Jenny and then Jenny saying hi, which is the first thing she’s actually said to her since the Outing Incident, and how hard it is for Evie because god she’s still so hurt and Jenny’s never even tried to apologize but then at the same time with Jenny there and Theo and Eric also there it’s too easy for her to feel like it was the beginning of Freshman year, when all four of them were the best of friends and almost a functional version of the NJBC and as much as Evie is still hurt and pissed she also just really misses the way things used to be, back even before any dating started within the group.

And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (Maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying At least I'm trying

(already talked about this!)

And anyways, there are my lyric breakdowns for Evie Van Der Woodsen, now I’m feeling all sad about her again

[hecohansen31]

hey! if you’re requests are still open, could you do a small piece with the foursome! maybe the reader finally talks about her own trauma (daddy issues?) and opens up for once.

(A/N): Hello there, lovely!

So I hope you won’t mind that I changed your request: I previously had an idea, and I thought this request was perfect to develop it (also because I am costantly scared to write badly any mental health issues, even ‘daddy issues’!).

Still, as always, if you feel uncomfortable or you didn’t like this, you just have to send me an ask and I’ll rewrite this again!

WARNINGS: Talk About Mental Health/Trust Issues/Problematic Relation With Therapists/Light Stalking/Poly-Relationship.

You had started seeing a therapist, before you had started your relationship with Duncan, Michael and Jim.

Although you weren’t ashamed of such thing, you hadn’t told them about it, more out of the constant habit of dealing things on your own than because you felt uncomfortable talking about such a thing.

And it hadn’t been a problem for you, you could juggle up perfectly your business and most of the time you could count on a perfect excuse to justify the hour you spent with your therapist, each Friday.

You therapist actually knew about your relationship and hadn’t pressured you into revealing them your problematics or the fact that you visited her weekly, but she had highly suggested that you talked with them about it.

‘There is nothing to be ashamed, (Y/N)’ she had told you, meanwhile you fidgeted with your hands ‘You know well that they aren’t the judging type and that, what you do here, is absolutely nothing illegal or wrong’.

You had nodded, but every time, right when you wanted to talk with them about it, the words died on your tongue and you quickly changed the theme of your chats and shifted their focus away from you.

But soon your small absences were noticed by your lovers: Duncan sometimes would call you to check on you, just to find your phone switched off, which was strange not only because nobody switched off their phones anymore, but also you were pretty active with it.

Jim and Michael had tried to propose some interesting activities to do on Friday afternoon, so that you could spend some time together, but you would always shake your head, and suggest either another time or another date, coming up with new excuses each time.

But they noticed that you would always keep each Friday at 4:30 p.m. free, and one day, they had chosen to follow you, although Michael had insisted that it was extremely stalkerish.

‘It isn’t stalkerish if done with love’ had muttered Jim, and Michael had just shot him a look before muttering about how ‘he shouldn’t have let him watch ‘You’ on Netflix’.

They had followed you, ‘discreetly’, although they were lucky that you hadn’t noticed them because you were too much on cloud nine, since they did nothing more than tripping onto things and running into people, but they had made it to a small building, which looked pretty normal.

Were you meeting with a friend?

Both Jim and Michael were surprised about you meeting with a friend, without telling them.

But they weren’t one of those ‘always together couple’, but they didn’t understand why you would hide them an outing with friends.

… but maybe it wasn’t simply an outing with a friend.

Were you cheating on them?

That would explain the secrecy and the fact that you were entering that building.

They also managed to enter it although clumsily, asking one of its resident to open the door, faking to be the friends of one of the other tenants, but once they were inside they weren’t able to actually look where you had gone and ended up exploring rather clumsy.

But their eyes were immediately caught by what looked like a private studio and they wandered inside, mostly because everything was better than the thought of you cheating on them: maybe you simply were having some problems you were too ashamed to talk with them.

They knew lately you had been writing some stories, maybe you had chosen to publish them and this was a talent scout or a publishing house…

Once they were inside, they realized it wasn’t a simple studio, but it was a therapist one, the secretary looking at them confused before she dared to ask them whether they had an appointment or needed to book one.

“Ahem we are…actually… in need to book one” lied Jim, and Michael was half thankful that the secretary didn’t seem to care enough about them to avoid noticing the fakeness in Jim’s tone, who continued on setting a fake appointment, giving the woman the same date of (Y/N)’s strange absence.

“I am sorry, but that spot is already busy” she mumbled and Michael managed to catch a glimpse of the timetable discovering that your name was signed down for that spot, showing that you were seeing a therapist.

That for  all that time you had been seeing one, without telling them anything.

Were you ashamed?

Had they given you the idea of not being able to take care of you?

Had they given you the idea that they would make fun of you, if you told them that you were seeing a therapist?

They hadn’t certainly been truly angelic with you, but they were open-minded enough not to judge you about feeling the need of seeing somebody that might help you.

Michael couldn’t help but be both slightly disappointed and both a bit self-conscious of his behavior towards you.

As Jim finished settling the appointment, he grabbed him by the shirt, to let him know they had to leave, before you finished your session, saluting the secretary as she reminded one last time to them the date of the appointment.

“Please don’t tell me I just signed up for nothing” mumbled Jim, once they were outside.

“(Y/N) was here” mumbled Michael was they were inside of the car, gaining a skeptical look from Jim “… she is… she is seeing a therapist, I saw her spot on the timetable, meanwhile you were booking the appointment”.

“Why is (Y/N) seeing a therapist?” asked Jim, much more naively than Michael, meanwhile he rode off quickly making sure not to attract any attention on them “… do you think that it is because we make her crazy”.

“Jim, why do you have to make this funny whereas it isn’t in the slightest!” Michael’s outburst of rage made Jim tremble lightly and the blond man tightened the grip onto the steering wheel, coming to an abrupt stop “… I am sorry, it just… baffles me… that she…”.

“…that she doesn’t trust us?” completed Jimmy, before he softly pushed an hand onto Michael’s white knuckles “… Michael we hated her till a month ago… she has every right to keep us out of some things she thinks are personal”.

“Weren’t you the one who wanted to stalk her?” shot back Michael.

“Because I thought she was hiding someone, but… Michael… how long did it take you to open up with me and Duncan about your problems with your grandma? Or for me to open up about my substance abuse” Michael didn’t answer “… it took us long, and you can’t blame her”.

“So, we have to pretend nothing happened?” Michael didn’t know if he could do it and was thankful when Jim shook her hand.

“No, we need to talk with Duncan and her, at least to apologize, and to show our support towards her and her journey” replied Jimmy, meanwhile he quickly held and gripped Michael’s hand on the steering wheel.

“Then I think we should get some cake”.

You had come home after an entire afternoon of crazy errands, although you had wished, for the entire time, nothing more than to come back home, mostly since the therapy of that day had been rather serious, and again, your therapist had explained the importance of letting your partners know of your journey, both to help you and to be sincere with them.

You had actually thought about coming clean, and in the end swore to confess it to them at least before Sunday, but when you had come home, the climate… was strange.

Michael was avoiding you, without putting into it too much effort to hide it and Jim was exceeding with his usual cuddles, even going as far as to stick at you when you got up to get the dinner ready, awakening also Michael, who came to stand into one of the stool at the kitchen island, beside Jim, as if they wanted to talk with you.

“Did something happen, guys?” you asked, wondering whether you had forgotten some anniversary or birthday “… are you mad at me?”.

“We followed you today” spoke Michael, almost spitting out the words as if they were on the tip of his tongue “… Jim has seen too many ‘You’ episode and decided to finally discover what you do each Friday at 4:30 p.m.”.

You were petrified on the spot and Jim continued, Michael’s speech, with much more sweetness to the tone:

“I didn’t mean to, but… I just… I thought you might be seeing someone else” your expression quickly changed to baffled, mildly offended “… I am sorry, you know we have abandonment issues… but this is another problem, we have discovered you are seeing a therapist”:

Well the truth was now out and you couldn’t help but be nervous at their thoughts, although you were ashamed, you knew people had mixed reaction about you seeing a therapist, you had been even wary about sharing this with some of you more distant friends.

“Why did you hide it from us?” Michael’s accusing tone was enough to made you cringe, and he saw it, immediately backing up and muttering a light ‘sorry’.

“I… I don’t know… it just never came up” you replied, hiding slightly in yourself, shrinking a bit to appear smaller.

“Don’t you trust us?” asked Jim, his tone definitely lighter than Michael, but the accusation heavy on his tone.

“It isn’t that I don’t trust you, but…” you tried to mumble “… it’s difficult for me to talk about it… it took me years to approach a therapist, and I am not ashamed of it, but I tend to deal… with things… on my own, have always been”.

“You don’t have anymore” a deep voice, surprised you and you all turned to catch Duncan staring at them, and you couldn’t help but blush further, hiding in the kitchen “…I am sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear, but I just wanted you to know that at least for me… this is a judgement free place”.

“Thank you” you stammered, meanwhile your other two lovers nodded.

“I am not going to lie I felt a bit heartbroken when I discovered this, but…” spoke Michael, and held out an hand for you to take, a true peace offering “… I understand now why you might not want to talk about it with us, but… if you need anything, you are more than welcome to let us know”.

“Yeah, exactly!” backed him up Jimmy “… is there something you want to talk about with us? Is there something we need to avoid? Or any way we can help you?”.

You appreciated Jimmy’s questions, although you couldn’t help but be slightly nervous, gently encouraged by Duncan, who came behind you and hugged you softly, letting you know his presence in this.

“I might need wine to speak up a bit” you joked, and Michael joined the laugh before he promptly mumbled.

“We have a chocolate cake to share” he mumbled, before he promptly added “I mean you have one and I have my own”.

“I think that you also need an appointment to a therapist or some doctor to check on that sugar flow”.

“You are just jealous of my perfect weight, Jimmy!”.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at that and cuddled a bit tighter into Duncan’s arms: you might have had bad and heavy days, but you had three lovers always ready to make you feel better.

You were glad to have them in your life.