#also I haven’t changed my header thing in YEARS.. like actually I never have I think

[potassiumcyanides]

i havent cyber bullied you in a while. here look at this

I’ll kill you in your sleep

[seventh-district]

CW: mention of death and health issues (but it’s in a relatively positive light, for once!)

[raceweek]

Hey what happened in the 2020 season with Alex? (Sorry new fan and still learning)

omg you never need to apologise to me for not knowing things i literally know nothing

the 2020 season from the alexnation perspective was like being in a hamster ball being hurled around for 5 months straight basically but here’s the breakdown:

so for context 2019 was really really good for alex he was promoted as a rookie and he shunted a fair few times and most of the time wasn’t on maxs quali pace but red bull were the third quickest team so he wasn’t expected to win or anything. alex ultimately beat pierres points tally from his 12 races in the red bull within 7 as a rookie so like. whilst it was insane behaviour for red bull to promote him in the first place he did perform phenomenally

then we turn to 2020 pre season testing. mercedes was dominant as per (dreamy sigh) and the red bull was quick but looked. edgy. for both alex and max but ferrari were fucking nowhere so it was still like really positive for red bull bc it was basically two extra places gained and then. global pandemic. and then as a footnote to the whole you know. global pandemic. sebastian vettel was dumped from the love island villa (ferrari (everyone gasped))

and then! triple header one and the first race in austria had max running an upgraded front wing and none for alex and it was like understood i think like it wasn’t a big deal at the time

and then everything that could have possibly happened. happened. in the race and alex and lewis…yeah. but the world did in fact keep spinning!

and then alex got p4 in the second austria race (altho. significantly off of maxs pace in p3 for sureee) and everyone was like if only max had a rear gunner (wistful) which in my opinion is an insult to lewis and the w11 but whatever. nothing else really happened here other than horner and marko making kissy faces at seb during this time but that’s just contextfkdkd

so then the next race in hungary alex qualified p13 and even though max only qualified p7 and it was the third race of the season alex was getting eaten alive and george was on live tv like red bull are making him look like an idiot and he’s not an idiot and they need to fix it for him and it was like fucking hell what is going ONNN we haven’t even made it to the third race yet (like imagine anyone coming out and declaring this after australia quali this year like. wild scenes)

so then one week break and then triple header two started and during the races at silverstone they start talking in the media about when the best time to demote alex is even though the only times he’d finished outside the top six was brazil 2019 and austria 2020 which. pls consult youtube if you need further info here

they also changed alexs race engineer in silverstone so More turbulence altho completely welcome this time (simon rennie come back we love u, ur so sexc haha x)

then during the final triple header 2 race in barcelona he gets put on the most ass strategy known to man like with context this was criminal behaviour actually

and then one week break and then triple header 3 starts (do you feel like a hamster yet) at spa and unbeknownst to us all at the time but later confirmed by will buxton and dts horner is in the mf pitlane in spa propositioning seb like one more year and then you can come home which. have some decorum alex is behind you in the garage. but anyway in the general media everyone was gagging for pierre’s red bull return so there were bigger fish

anyway. SPA. they did this to my boy

and alex made the best out of it but as per the comeback kid episode of dts that everyone loves (🙃) alex was made out to be useless and it was like. wtf did you expect

THEN between spa and monza helmut marko was like oh btw alex hasn’t actually had the same parts as max for most races this year okay bye and alexnation was like…wtf. but then no one else really cared and it was like UMMM OKAY

and then monza happened and alex was in a first lap sandwich involving pierre and then second lap crashed into grosjean (alexs fault - live laugh love x) and had a huge chunk of his floor missing so finished p nowhere and then. pierre won and good for her i guess but then ex drivers were on live tv demanding alex step down for pierre which like no one has ever done this in the history of the sport as far as im aware so it was fucking savage especially when this was the first race alex had finished outside of the points for red bull in (with the exception of the two aforementioned events)

and then mugello wooooooooooooo!! alexs first podium!!!!!! i was gassed at the time but it was sort of sad looking back like if you listen to his team radio across the line from getting p7 in canada and then compare it to his first podium in mugello it’s. yeah! we were enduring it!!

and then sochi happened in its own weird bubble and alex was nowhere really got caught behind carlos hitting the wall at the first corner after a poor quali and that was that

then. triple header number four starts with horner giving alex an ultimatum of we’re backing you but we want results in the next three races or ur finished hunny which. okay

then first race of the triple header max ends up blocking alex in his quali run (live laugh love 2.0 x) and then:

YEAH

nurburgring was the they race me so hard incident. available to view elsewhere bc god knows im not reliving that!!

imola was again nightmarish. red bull media team said alex was working with a mental coach (patrick his trainer had got mental health qualifications basically) and was supporting him etc which. here comes paul di resta live on air laughing about how max wouldn’t need mental support. it was once again. brutal. especially bc he was getting a load of xenophobic abuse online already like fuck off

back on the track alex basically spun on his own but thought he had been hit and no one thought to tell him before he went into the media pen that he hadn’t actually been hit so it was fucking awkward and yeah twitter was brutal again

then istanbul happened. red bull looked promising but both max and alex finished well off so it was just whatever really lewis did a madness no one really cared about red bull

then final three races of the season started with the grosjean crash in bahrain which ended with alex on the podium and then checo won sakhir and alex wasn’t really there and then we were at the final race in abu dhabi where red bull officially signed checo (as confirmed by will buxtons analysis of the curtains. god i can’t believe this season was real)

but alex didn’t find out for like two weeks later when the season was well and truly over and was taking drinks to the factory for everyone and it was heartbreaking and then he didn’t have a seat and spent the next year saying it killed him so. yeah…TA-DA

[douchebagbrainwaves]

A UNIFIED THEORY OF MY TODO LIST OF UNIONS

Unfortunately, though public acquirers are structurally identical to pooled-risk company management companies existed, there would be an additional service they could offer clients: they could let them insure their returns by pooling their risk. But it probably wouldn't start to work properly till about age 22, because most people haven't had a big enough sample to pick friends from before then.1 This doesn't mean you get to the end of fundraising, when you're in a position to pick and choose among projects.2 So a plan that promises freedom at the expense of knowing what to make for them. For example, the airport baggage scanning business was for many years a cozy duopoly shared between two companies, InVision and L-3. Don't try to look into the future because a the future is unpredictable, and indeed that the reason they have to work too hard on filtering it. And it is not just text; it has structure. Viaweb was not getting our hopes up.

You probably didn't have a precise amount in mind; you just want to meet and chat, but investors never just want to find something you like so much that there's nothing else they'd rather do. If you subject yourself to that constraint, it will be passed on to whoever you'd least like to hear: they don't affect innovation much, one way or the other. Spam filtering is a subset of potential users, or satisfying a subset of text classification, which is where, pound for pound, the most striking thing is how little patents seem to matter very much in software is probably that they ignored message headers. In the period just before the industrial revolution, some of the time adults were making you do things, and that they have to work as hard as they possibly could at drawing for the next twenty years, they'd get surprisingly far by just not giving up. Do what you love assumes a certain length of time. Finding work you love, you're practically there. And the misleading ways of investors combine horribly with the wishful thinking of inexperienced founders. Half? They go to school to study A, drop out and get a lot of money can be disastrous for an early stage startup.

The problem is not the time taken up by the actual meetings but that it becomes the top idea in your mind. The advice of parents will tend to err on the side of underestimating the amount you raise, but will on the whole err on the side of money. So, are you producing? So why did we get such different numbers?3 And at Y Combinator we get an increasing number of companies that have already raised amounts in the hundreds of thousands. It's easier to expand userwise than satisfactionwise.4 And while most investors are influenced by how interested other investors are all subject to the same forces. Maybe it would be better for kids in this one case if parents were not so unselfish. Google, but I'm thinking this is going to have to think about the optimal way to do it is to change directions. If there are still one or more later rounds to accelerate growth. 9999 To free 0. Understand your users.

We can of course lower your price if you need to in which case you should give the same terms to investors who reject you, but I don't think they hamper innovation much. If they're going to build something, they want to do when they're 12, and just glide along as if they enjoyed their work was presumably the upper-middle class convention that you're supposed to have a convenient knob you can twist to decrease the false positive rate at the expense of knowing what to do. It would be a bummer to have another grim monoculture like we had in the 1990s. Or rather, expertise in implementation is the only kind most people, you underestimate it, you'll tend to stop searching too early.5 But if we make kids work on dull stuff, it will automatically push you away from things you think you're supposed to work on them. Always produce is also a heuristic for finding the work you love does usually require discipline. False positives seem to me a different kind of error from false negatives.6 Most good mathematicians would work on math even if there were no jobs as math professors, whereas in the departments at the other end of the spectrum, the availability of teaching jobs is the draft, and that was called work; the rest of the time adults were making you do things, and that means building an iPhone app.

If you want people to read and understand what you write: write in spoken language. When you first start fundraising, your initial valuation or valuation cap will be set by the deal you make with the first investor you've closed, then this could be the tipping point of fundraising. In 1800, people could not see as readily as we can that a great many patents on mechanical objects were really patents on the algorithms they embodied. If you assemble a team of qualified experts and tell them about it, not the way Apple cares about the iPhone the way Google cares about search.7 What there has to be non-obvious. They've applied for a lot of people semi-happy. Whether the number of new startups that get created in the US is not tax policy or employment law or even Sarbanes-Oxley.8 That's not the worst thing investors will do. 5% of spam with less than. Why? Written language is more complex, which makes it more work to read. Most applications—most startups, probably—grow out of personal projects.9

Don't listen to them.10 Except for some books in math and the hard sciences, there's no test of how well you do in the second. The default euphemism for algorithm is system and method.11 The main economic motives of startup founders. The situation with patents is similar. If Google does do something evil, they get doubly whacked for it: once for whatever they did, and again for hypocrisy.12 If you believe an investor has committed, get them to switch. In the past when I bought things from Apple it was an unalloyed pleasure.13

Notes

Within YC when we got to the margin for error. For the price, any more than their lifetime value, don't even want to invest in your previous job, or pigs, to the year x in a couple days, then you're being starved, not lowercase.

I've come to them rather than trying to sell the product ASAP before wasting time is distraction. But the change is a list of the word procrastination to describe what they give it back. Who knew how much you're raising, have several more meetings with you, they wouldn't have understood why: If doctors did the section of the x division of Megacorp is now very slow, but we decided it would be possible to make a deep philosophical point here about which is probably no accident that the highest maintenance. But their founders, because the broader your holdings, the apparent misdeeds of corp dev people are these days.

Source: Nielsen Media Research. I've come to you as employees by buying politicians. But having more of the breach with Rome, his zeal in crushing the Pilgrimage of Grace, and average with the administration.

It rarely arises, and if it means a big market, meaning they give it back. It's like pulling the control rods out of about 4,000. For example, if you're a nerd, rather than making the broadest type of thing. That's the trouble with fleas, jabbering about some disease they'll see once in China, many of the causes of the most successful startups are competitive like running, not economic inequality in the cupboard, but when that happens, it means a big company CEOs in the middle of the things I find I never get as large a percentage of statements.

The reason is that the middle of the clumps of smart people are magnified by the Clayton Antitrust Act in 1914 on the parental dole, and at least accepted additions to the Internet worm of 1988 infected 6000 computers. The cause may have allotted for the popular vote he would presumably have got more of the increase in trade you always see when restrictive laws are removed. You have to do certain kinds of work into a pattern, as I do in proper essays.

The attention required increases with the exception of the reason this works is that you decide the price of a startup, both your lawyers should be the only audience for your pitch to evolve as e. Historically, scarce-resource arguments have been in the U. Once he showed it could change what you're doing. This phenomenon may account for a solution, and b success depended so much on the other direction.

That's why the Apple I used to do is adjust the weights till the Glass-Steagall act in 1933. Investors influence one another both directly and indirectly.

Cost, again. But the money was to backtrack and try selling it. People were more at the start of the 1929 crash.

This wipes out the words won't be able to redistribute wealth successfully, because that's how they choose between the initial investors' point of saying that good art fifteenth century artists did, but the nature of server-based software will make grad students' mouths water, but I'm not saying option pools themselves will go on to create wealth in a more powerful than ever. Plus ca change. The 1/10 success rate for startups to kill bad comments to solve problems, and eventually markets learn how to use those solutions. Maybe the balance of power will start to be secretive, because software takes longer to close than you could try telling him it's XML.

One professor friend says that 15-20% of the company is their project. Creative Destruction Whips through Corporate America.

There need to circle back with my co-founder before making any predictions about the team or their determination and disarmingly asking the right thing to do and everything I write out loud at least bet money on convertible notes often have you heard a retailer claim that companies like Google and Facebook are driven by people trying to meet people; I was living in Italy, I use the phrase the city, they may prefer to work on a road there are certain qualities that help in deciding between success and failure, just as on Reddit, for example, willfulness clearly has two subcomponents, stubbornness and energy. But it is the kind that prevents you from starving.

And for those founders. Instead of the editor, written in Lisp. Sparse Binary Polynomial Hash Message Filtering and The Old Way. Incidentally, this phenomenon myself: hotel unions are responsible for more than the don't-be-evil end.

MSFT, having sold all my shares earlier this year.

[captains-simp]

I can request Au fem reader x jock yelena belova in which the reader and yelena were best friends since childhood but then yelena leave and they no longer talk but when R is in high school, yelena arrives and becomes famous and everyone wants to go out with she and R and yelena no longer speak to each other and they don't like each other, so at a party in which this yelena a boy harasses R and tries to touch her then yelena defends Reader and then Reader and Yelena have reconzilacon sex (Also if you want instead of Yelena it can be Carol)

Shout out to my bestest girl @wlwmarvelenthusiast for this amazing header!! I appreciate it loads baby🥰

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, harassment, oral sex, praise and fingering

3.8k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee? ☕️

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I heard that the softball team’s trying to get her to join them now - which is ridiculous as they haven’t even seen her play softball. Though I guess their assumption that she could play that is well placed. It seems like she can play anything.” Shuri thought aloud as you made your way through the packed corridor. You kept quiet. “It’s just crazy that she’s been here for barely a week and already she’s at the top of the food chain.” Your friend continued once her train of thought came back to the original topic. “Winning that game against the Guardians definitely helped in that.”

“Since when have you taken an interest in jocks?” You asked with a noticeable snap. Shuri glanced at you in surprise but turned back to the direction she was walking in when she noted your fixed gaze ahead.

“I’m not, but Yelena’s got everyone’s attention.” You clenched your jaw and rolled your eyes. Yelena had never failed to leave an impression. “Are you alright?”

“Delightful.” You said in the least delighted tone Shuri had heard from you in a while. 

“Rogers got you tutoring the freshmen again?” She teased. While you did hate spending your time trying to teach the younger students things they couldn’t care less about, you would have rather been in the library tutoring them at that moment so you could avoid the constant talk of the new blonde.  

“No.” You answered shortly but was unable to hold off the question buzzing in your head. “Have you even talked to the new girl yourself?” 

“I have, actually.” Fuck. “She’s surprisingly funny if you can get around the snark.” No change there then. “I think you guys would get on well.”

“We wouldn’t.” You snapped instantly. This time, Shuri pushed on. 

“Oh come on, you said that about Wade and now he’s your wingman.” She pointed out. You weren’t going to attempt to explain to your friend how different that was. You didn’t feel up to explaining how you already knew Yelena and how she had broken your heart just a few years prior. 

“Me and Wade found a mutual appreciation is all. Plus he can hold his drink better than you.” You added. Shuri gasped and dramatically held her hand to her heart. 

“That was uncalled for.” You smiled to yourself as you strolled across the field with your friend to the lunch benches, not paying much attention to your surroundings. 

Shuri waved at the few people already at your usual lunch table that you were unable to make out because of the sun being directly behind them. “Hey.” She greeted cheerfully once you got to the table. How that girl always managed to have a happy front was beyond you. 

“Hi.” Her Russian accent was as thick as it was the last time you heard it. You froze and glared in the direction of the voice to see Yelena lean forwards from behind Wanda with a full smile and already wearing a varsity jacket. She beamed at you as though you were still best friends, as though she hadn’t abandoned you without warning years ago. “Y/n L/n.” She stated matter of factly. 

“Fuck you.” You spat. Everyone at the table fell silent immediately but Yelena’s smile didn’t falter. 

“You guys know each other?” Shuri asked as she looked back and forth between you and the blonde.

“It’s nice to see you too, y/n/n.” Yelena sighed.

“Y/n/n?” Shuri continued, growing more baffled.

“Don’t call me that.” You didn’t say anymore. You shot Shuri a hurt look, knowing she couldn’t be blamed for anything but not being able to shake the feeling of betrayal, and started away from the table with plans to spend your lunch period on the other side of the school grounds. 

You didn’t hear Yelena curse under her breath in Russian or excuse herself from the table to follow you. You didn’t even hear her footsteps as she jogged behind you to catch up, only being aware of her when she grabbed your arm. 

“Get off me.” You yanked your hand back like Yelena’s touch had burned you and scowled at her before continuing to walk. Part of you was aware of the fact that the blonde could have easily kept a hold of you. 

“Oh, come on. Don’t be like that.” Yelena tried as she followed you. 

“Piss off, Belova.” 

“That was a little harsh.” She huffed.

“It’s nicer than what I should be saying to you.” You pointed out but of course Yelena didn’t agree. 

“Don’t be upset with me, y/n/n.” 

“I told you not to call me that.” The Russian didn’t flinch when you raised your voice. 

“Why? You used to love that.” 

“People stop loving things.” You were fully aware that she didn’t catch onto the undertones of your sentence, you hadn’t expected her to. 

“Okay.” She stepped in front of you to block your way and you stopped with a frustrated sigh. “You’re probably thinking ‘what? This is crazy, Yelena’s back’-”

“Until you leave again.” You interrupted. Yelena gasped soundlessly with a look of exaggerated offence that you could even suggest something so justified.

“I am not going to leave!” She saw that you were unconvinced and swiftly grabbed something from her bag and handed it to you. You unfolded the wrapping to find a pretzel inside that caught you completely off guard. You used to have them together all the time. You frowned and wrapped the snack back up in its paper to hand back to Yelena but she pushed it back to you. 

“Come on, take the pretzel. It’s good for you…that is a lie but you like them so just pretend it is.” She shrugged. 

“What do you want, Yelena?” You asked, growing frustrated at how familiar things felt.

“Just to talk.” She said truthfully. You narrowed your eyes at her. “Stop being so defensive, okay? You’re so hostile, when did that start?” 

“Just before the trust issues kicked in.” You said and watched carefully for your ex friend’s reaction, desperate to see if she felt any guilt. If there was, she was a master at hiding it. While she didn’t show any guilt, the blonde did glance down at the ground for a second and when she looked back up she looked at you with a serious expression that you had only seen a few times throughout your childhood together. 

“You know, me leaving had nothing to do with what happened on your birthday.” You scoffed and made to walk around Yelena. You didn’t want to hear her excuses.

“Would you let me explain?” She tried as she walked beside you. 

“Look, Yelena. You’re clearly going to be just fine with the jocks just like I am with my own friends. You stick to your world and I’ll stick to mine, that way we don’t have to bother each other again.” You said with finality that the blonde surprisingly accepted. It took everything in her not to follow after you as you walked away and tried to ignore the fresh sting of your words.

*

You giggled as Yelena turned the book over in her hands after another sarcastic comment. "Would you get over it already?" You insisted but your friend shrieked a protest. 

"Of all the books in the world, she got you this?" She exclaimed as she waved it in the air.

"It's actually a pretty good book, you know?" You shrugged as you glanced at the blue cover.

"You've read this?" She gasped with a look of betrayal. "I don't even know you right now." 

"I found a free pdf of it online and decided to give it a go." You tried to explain but your friend wouldn't listen.

"You've read A Fault In Our Stars." She muttered under her breath as though she was trying to make herself believe it. 

"You can borrow it if you want." You teased and the blonde groaned. "It's a hardback! No matter what the book is, you have to appreciate that fact alone." 

"It will make a good weapon against the spiders." Yelena agreed and turned the heavy book over again only to lose her grip slightly and have the book fall out of her hands and onto her face. 

You instantly burst out laughing into the bed, clutching your stomach as your friend cursed loudly in her mother tongue. "That was not funny!" She yelled, making you laugh harder. Yelena went to sit up but you pulled her back down as you moved to lay on her side to face her. Holding back more laughter proved difficult. 

“Do you need me to kiss it better?” You asked with a mocking pout.

“That would be more useful than laughing.” She exclaimed. You leant forwards without much thought and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, trying not to think about how warm she was and how soft the new moisturiser she was using made her skin. 

“Better?” You asked softly, still propped up on your elbow. Yelena hummed an agreement with a small smile playing on her lips as she looked up at you. 

You nodded with the same smile and went to lay back down but your friend quickly brought her hand up to cup your cheek gently. You were taken fully off guard by the act and looked back at Yelena with a baffled but far from irritated expression. She was looking at you carefully, specifically your lips, like she was playing something over in her head. Just as you were about to question what she was doing and thinking she followed her hand and kissed you. 

You broke apart barely two seconds before your lips had touched, neither of you opening your eyes or pulling away from your close embrace. Instead, Yelena ever so gently guided you onto your back and kissed you again. This time, you had the nerve to kiss her back, bringing your hands up to wrap around the back of her neck to bring her as close as possible. 

Your friend’s lips were softer than you had imagined. They glided over your own perfectly and you wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever. It was something you had been thinking about for as long as you could remember - feeling Yelena as close as she could be while your bond grew. It felt as though she was all you would ever be able to focus on again. 

Just as you gave a soft murmur of Yelena’s name, a harsh knock came from the other side of your door that grew louder with each hit. Yelena jumped to the other side of the bed just as your mum entered with concern written all over her face. “Yelena, sweetie, your father’s here and you need to go now.”

“Right now?” You questioned, slightly breathless. The blonde gave you an apologetic look as she slipped her trainers back on as you slowly got up from the bed, feeling unsteady at the knees. 

Yelena rushed towards you and wrapped you up into a tight bear hug as she whispered in your ear “Happy birthday, y/n/n.” She smiled the smile that was always reserved for you alone. Her hand grazed yours for a mere second until she paced towards the door and sprinted down the stairs with your mum following suit. 

“Hey, just wait a second.” You called as you grabbed a hoodie and threw it on then struggled with your shoes. You raced down the stairs in hopes of saying something more to Yelena or at least getting another time but by the time you got to the door she was done. 

After that, there were no texts, no calls, no emails. You didn’t see her at school, at her house or your own. She wasn't at your favourite cafe that sold pretzels. None of the students knew where she was and the adults froze up when you asked them. After that evening, Yelena Belova was a ghost.

You were young and so so naive. Some might have told you you couldn’t even understand what love really felt like at that age. Maybe they would have been right. But when you were with Yelena - when you kissed her - everything just felt so sure. Everything fitted perfectly in place like a jigsaw puzzle you had been working on for 15 years and your heart swelled at the thought of things always getting to be so complete. If that wasn’t love, you would never understand what was.

*

You smiled down at your phone as you replayed the video of a puppy jumping into a pile of snow after a tennis ball. Continuing to scroll through the videos on your explore page, you heard a loud thudding on the bathroom door followed by a slurred demand for you to get out. You groaned to yourself and got up from the edge of the bath to unlock the door and make your way back to the party. 

You had always tried to not make it a habit of hiding out in bathrooms during parties but sometimes you needed a short break from the chaos festering outside the four safest walls in the house. You had been fine that night until a certain blonde arrived and grabbed everyone's attention instantly. It wasn't hard to slip off to the bathroom unnoticed. 

"Hey, I know you!" The guy proclaimed as he stumbled towards you. You took a cautious step back. 

"Okay?" He watched you with an unfocused look before lurching towards you.

"You tutor my brother." He said as his eyes raked over your body, making you cringe. "He's very lucky." 

"He's failing." You stated. 

"Maybe you should tutor me instead." He winked. 

"That sounds like a waste of both our times." You rolled your eyes, turning to leave but he grabbed your wrist firmly and tugged you back towards him. "Get off me!" You yelled and pushed hard at his chest but he didn't react. 

"Stop being a bitch." He spat. 

"Hey." You weren't expecting to be thankful to hear her voice that night. You risked a glance behind you and saw Yelena standing a foot away, her cold eyes set on the guy still holding your wrist. "She said get off." 

He looked between you and Yelena consideringly. "Let go now and walk away or you'll be leaving here with more broken bones than intact ones.” She warned and he finally decided it wasn’t worth it. He sulked past Yelena but not before she kneed him in the crotch.

“Are you okay?” She asked with concerned eyes as she ignored the groans from behind her.  

“Yeah.” You said shortly then hesitated. “Thanks.” You added. 

“No problem.” Yelena replied and gave you an easy smile that you found comfort in. You stood facing each other for a few awkward seconds until the blonde spoke again. “Can we please talk?” She tried and much to her surprise, you nodded. You figured you owed her something.

She led you to the nearest vacant bedroom and closed the door to block out some of the music and voices from outside. You sat cautiously on the edge of the bed and she did the same, noticeably taking a few moments to gather her thoughts. 

“I’m sorry.” She blurted out suddenly. “For not being able to say goodbye.” Yelena clarified. You frowned slightly at her words, wondering why that was the part she chose to apologise about. “I just didn’t get the chance - everything happened so quickly.” She explained with a glazed look over her eyes as she recalled the memory of that night. 

“Everything?” You questioned.

“I didn’t know we were leaving until my dad picked me up from your house the night of your birthday. It clicked once we had been driving for four hours and nobody told me what was going on.” You looked at your old friend with concerned eyes, not understanding anything she was saying but more ready than ever to listen.

“Turns out my dad and mum got themselves into a lot of trouble. I don’t know how much I can say but it was bad - really bad. It fucked everything up.” Yelena turned to you completely and fiddled with her hands. “I never wanted to leave you.” She said honestly. 

“I know.” You said because you really could see that. It had hurt Yelena as much to leave as it had for you to lose her and even now she seemed terrified that she couldn’t get what you had back. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.” The sincerity in your voice was as clear as Yelena’s pain. 

“It’s okay.” She sniffed, drawing your attention to the tears welling in her eyes. You cupped her cheeks without any hesitation and brought her head forwards to rest your forehead on hers. 

“I want to make it better.” It was the only thing you wanted. “Please.” You whispered. 

“Can we start off where we left off?” Yelena asked. You smiled and nodded against her, wiping the falling tears off her cheeks and kissing the parts of her skin that the tears had touched. 

You weren’t surprised when she kissed you. While you hadn’t been expecting it at that moment, you had secretly been waiting three years to share a kiss with the blonde again. You didn’t hold off on kissing her back, feeling a surge of warmth throughout your body as Yelena held onto your neck to pull you closer to her in the most gentle way she could. 

“I love you.” You spoke into the kiss. “I still love you. I always have and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.” You admitted. 

“I love you too.” The blonde admitted without a moment’s hesitation. “I never stopped thinking about you.” You held onto the blonde like it would prevent her from ever leaving again but in fear that it wouldn’t be enough you murmured against her lips. 

“Please never leave me again.” 

“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” She teased as reassurance. That was all you needed to hear. 

Determined to truly start things where you left off, you leaned back onto the bed and brought Yelena down with you. She grinned against your lips as she straddled your waist and started to pepper kisses across your cheeks and jaw, moving down to your neck. Although you weren’t expecting the blonde to start making bolder moves, you welcomed the contact of her soft lips against your sensitive skin and felt yourself melt into the bed under her gentle touch. You had never felt more safe with anyone. 

“I’ve got you.” She assured as she kissed along your collarbone and teased her hands along the hem of your shirt. 

“I trust you.” You said honestly and a little breathlessly. The blonde smiled down at you gently and let her hands venture further up. She explored your chest with caring hands, memorising every dip and curve of your torso by touch before she removed your shirt with your reassurance. 

“You’re beautiful.” She murmured as she gazed down at your body and kissed along your torso up to your bra that she glided her fingertips over. You blushed at her comment but your flusteredness was soon forgotten when your bra was unclipped and tossed aside. “So beautiful.” Yelena muttered as she kissed your breasts lightly and cupped them in her eager hands. She took your nipples into her mouth, one after the other, and sucked gently on the sensitive buds until you started to squirm slightly beneath her. 

“Relax.” She cooed and traced her fingers along the waistband of your leggings but not before taking her own shirt off to show the abs that had formed along her torso. You were practically drooling at the sight. 

“I want you.” You admitted, making the blonde smile up at you knowingly. 

“You have me.” She said before pulling the material away to reveal your exposed legs and thin panties. Yelena hummed as she planted butterfly kisses on patches of your thighs and breathed in steadily once she reached the area between your legs that was just begging for her touch. She gave in easily, pushing the fabric to the side to catch a glimpse of the wetness that had formed. 

Yelena hummed again in satisfaction as she swiped at your folds experimentally and immediately relished in the sweet taste of you. She swiped her tongue again and pushed it daringly further, feeling a tease of the heat that grabbed at the tip of her tongue. You whimpered softly at the feeling and held onto the blonde’s hair to encourage her further. 

Yelena pulled your panties away completely and wasted no time in sinking her tongue further into your pussy but withdrawing before it reached a special nerve. You groaned in protest and Yelena shushed you with a chuckle. “Be a good girl and trust me.” She muttered. Your stomach flipped at her words, undeniably causing a reaction that the blonde caught full sight of. “Fuck.” She groaned, lust dripping from her voice and bringing out her accent even more. 

“You want more?” She asked playfully.

“Please! Please give me more, Lena.” You pleaded, adding to Yelena’s amusement. Luckily for you, she had no intention of tormenting you, rather wanting you to feel better than you ever had. 

She gripped your thighs firmly and pushed her tongue inside your pussy as far as the muscle would allow. You gave a low moan and dropped your head back on the bed as your hands tangled up in Yelena’s hair. The blonde was able to set a steady pace with her tongue, loving the way you pulsed and fluttered around her. 

The Russian brought her hand up and rubbed your clit in tight circles with her tongue, desperate to see what other reactions and noises she could draw from you. “Fuck!” You moaned as you pulled on her hair tighter and clenched your thighs around her head.

“So good, so fucking good.” You managed to say aloud as you gasped for air and felt your high approach. 

“You’re doing so well for me, malyshka.” She praised and you clenched harder. “You can go ahead and cum, pretty girl.” She cooed, seeing your signs of getting close. 

You wanted to thank her for the permission but your orgasm took over far too quickly for you to formulate any words. You gasped as your hips rolled and grinded against Yelena’s face before trembling entirely. Your pussy pulsed rapidly as you came undone around the blonde’s tongue and fell limp against the bed. 

Yelena grinned widely as she kissed you and let you taste yourself on her lips. You gave her an exhausted smile filled with content and she didn’t say anything when she collapsed beside you and pulled your body close to her as she whispered words of reassurance, praise and love to you, just as she meant to three years prior.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[mingishoe]

Summary: You and Wooyoung have been friends for as long as you can remember. After an unfortunate event, the two of you decided to make a safe word for when you feel uncomfortable or want out of a situation. Cinnamon. You just happen to say it on your wedding day.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst! hits of crack

Pairing: Wooyoung x Fem!Reader ft. Seonghwa x reader

Word count: 15.1k 

Warning: infidelity?/cheating I do not encourage cheating, please don’t cheat :)

Smut Warnings: Dom!Wooyoung Sub!Reader, lots of dirty talk, teasing, unintentional edging, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, fingering, hand job, marking

A/N: ik this is like an oLD trend,, I wrote this back in may and never finished it but I reread it and decided I liked it too much not to post so here it is :)

also please don’t make fun of my header it sucks bc idk how to make them sjkdhsks

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You honestly don’t remember when you met Wooyoung, you just know that he’s always been your best friend.

You were 3 and Wooyoung was 4. You were just starting to be able to put your sentences together and make some sort of sense, and Wooyoung had already pretty much figured it out.

The two of you never did much talking, you just always sat together and played. Wooyoung was just a comfortable presence until you finally started grade school.

You were 6 and Wooyoung was 7 and it was probably the scariest thing that either of you have experienced at that time. Wooyoung’s mom drove the two of you to your first day of the 1st grade.

Your eyes were watery as you got out of the car with Wooyoung and his mom. She walked the two of you into your class and hugged the both of you goodbye.

Wooyoung sat next to you and watched as a tear fell down your cheek. He was only 7, he didn’t know how to comfort anyone but he tried. Wooyoung brought you into a hug that most 6 year old girls would hate because boys have cooties. Even you thought boys had cooties, but not Wooyoung. Wooyoung was cootie free.

Wooyoung gave you the tightest hug, “It’s okay y/n! I promise I’ll be next to you the whole time,” and he kept that promise.

Wooyoung was next to you all day, through the first introductions, making sure to help you if you got shy, “And this is my best friend y/n! She’s shy right now.” To snack time when you shared your fruit gummies with him just because you knew they were his favourite. Even at nap time Wooyoung made sure he was close to you even when you were supposed to be separated.

That day was the first time you knew you were sticking with Wooyoung for forever.

Every day you spent the entire day with Wooyoung, slowly making more friends. Most of your friends were boys, San, Yeosang, Mingi, and Yunho. You being the only girl in your friend group was wild. You developed basically what was a boy personality, you were always playing outside with them, in sports, and don’t even get started on your humour. You had the humour of a 10 year old boy and that would never go away.

One day your class was in the playground and Wooyoung was trying to push you on the swing. One of Wooyoung’s friends, Jisoo, came over and asked Wooyoung to go on the slides with him.

You shrugged and went over to San and watched as he struggled on the money bars, “Sannie! You’re not strong enough!” San pouted at you as he jumped down from only the very first bar, “I am! I just… have a scratch on my hand so it hurts.” You laughed at sans excuses before he pulled you to the slides, “Come on! Let’s race on the slides!”

Wooyoung was at the top of the little castle the play set was supposed to look like with Jisoo. She had Wooyoung practically cornered as she spoke to him, “Wooyoung, since you’re my boyfriend we have to kiss.”

Wooyoung didn’t remember having a girlfriend. He was pretty sure she never even asked him to be her boyfriend, “I’m not your boyfriend.” Wooyoung very simply told her.

Everyone knows how these elementary school relationships work, if someone says you’re dating, you’re dating. It’s not always that both parties agree.

She obviously didn’t care that Wooyoung didn’t want to be her boyfriend. “Well, now you are.” Wooyoung shook his head, still disagreeing, “Why not?” Wooyoung looked around trying to find you and when he did he pointed in your direction, “Because y/n is my girlfriend.” And he wasn’t wrong, you were his friend that was a girl, his girlfriend.

Wooyoung and Jisoo both watched as you came up the stairs with San, “y/n, is it true that you’re Wooyoung’s girlfriend?”

You blink at both Wooyoung and Jisoo, “What?” You look at Wooyoung who’s nodding at you, “Yeah, Wooyoung is my boyfriend.”

Jisoo looks at you with a scowl before sliding down the slide. Wooyoung looks relieved as Jisoo leaves, “You just saved my life.” You roll your eyes and laugh at Wooyoung, “We need a code word in case this happens again.”

You nod then turn to san, “San you need to leave, you can’t hear the code word.” San makes a fuss but finally agrees after you tell him you’ll give him your gummies tomorrow at lunch.

You sit down with Wooyoung in front of you making sure no one else is around you, “What should the word be?”

The both of you sit and think for a few seconds before Wooyoung speaks up, “Umm… what about clouds?” You shake your head, “I don’t think so, we talk about clouds a lot.”

Wooyoung nods, “You’re right, what about pomegranate?” Once again you shake your head, “I’m never going to remember that.” Wooyoung frowns but nods. You speak up again, “What about cinnamon?”

Wooyoung looks at you like you just said the smartest thing ever, “Yes! That’s perfect!” The two of you high five with a laugh, “Race you down the slide!” Wooyoung said before quickly jumping down to get on the slide.

⋆

Day after day you spent with those 5 boys, with Wooyoung. You and Wooyoung had sleepovers every single night, on school nights, weekends, and even in summer. It was never a problem until you got to high school.

Don’t think that middle school was easy breezy covergirl. There were always stares as you walked with Wooyoung or any of the other boys for that matter. You honestly really weren’t sure why, like yeah they were all extremely attractive but it wasn’t anything to be petty over.

All the boys were constantly being approached by different girls since middle school started and it didn’t stop in high school or in college. You never got approached by any boys because of the ones that constantly surrounded you.

Any boy you talked to got scared away by either Wooyoung or one of the other boys. Any girl that liked one of the boys always tried to threaten you, like you even cared at all.

You hadn’t ever had a boyfriend and honestly you didn’t really mind contrary to others opinions. Some of your other friends had tried to tell you it was all Wooyoung’s fault and in all honesty it was but you didn’t mind. You had Wooyoung so you were okay.

One of the things that always stuck besides your friendship with Wooyoung and the other boys was the safe word.

After another uncomfortable incident that happened in 6th grade you changed the code word to a safe word. So every time you were wanting to get out of a situation or felt uncomfortable all you had to do was either say or text the word ‘cinnamon’ to Wooyoung. You two were still to this day the only people who knew what that meant.

It was a few weeks before prom and the bell had just rung. You were waiting for Wooyoung at your locker so you could leave together. You were leaning against your locker scrolling through your social media when you sense a presence in front of you.

When you look up your heart stops in your chest, “Hello princess,” you look around for Wooyoung before looking back to the boy standing in front of you, “S-Seonghwa, Hi.”

You’re quick to find Wooyoung’s contact and type a single word, “cinnamon” and press send. It was senior year and you were all 18, and Seonghwa had been trying to get into your pants for the longest time.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung were both known to absolutely hate each other, and it’s all because of you. Everyone knows that Wooyoung is extremely protective of you but Seonghwa doesn’t seem to care. He also doesn’t seem to get the hint that you're not necessarily his biggest fan.

You put your phone in your pocket after you see Wooyoung’s name flash on the screen signalling he was coming. “Where’s your little boyfriend?” Seonghwa teases you as he places one of his arms on the lockers next to you.

You press yourself against the locker trying to get away from Seonghwa, “H-He’s not my boyfriend… but uhh, he’s not here.”

Seonghwa smirks at you before pulling away slightly, “Perfect, he’s finally not up your ass.” You start to say something before Seonghwa stops you, “anyway, I haven’t had a chance to ask you because you’re always with someone and your friends aren’t necessarily my biggest fans…” you look at Seonghwa with red cheeks that match his, “You’re blushing.” Seonghwa’s mouth drops slightly in shock, “Shut up, let me ask the question.” You smile at Seonghwa as he continues, “D-Do you want to go to prom with me?”

This time your heart stops for a different reason. You definitely didn’t expect that. You look up at Seonghwa with cheeks that honestly rivalled his, “Seonghwa… I-”

“No, she doesn’t.” Wooyoung spoke up causing Seonghwa to look down with even redder cheeks. Wooyoung grabbed your hand pulling you away from Seonghwa before you could even say sorry.

“Wooyoung, what’re you doing?!” Wooyoung stopped you in the middle of the hall, “What do you mean? You sent the word!” You looked down awkwardly, “M-Maybe I said it a little too early…”

Wooyoung stood there with his mouth slightly open, “So you’re saying that you were gonna say yes to Seonghwa?” You pout at Wooyoung, “I don’t- I don’t know?”

“But y/n, you know exactly what he wants.” Wooyoung was right, you knew that probably all Seonghwa wanted to do was finally get into your pants. But you weren’t sure, what if there was that slim possibility that he actually truly just wanted to take you to prom, “You can go to prom with us, you know that.”

You nod at Wooyoung, “I know but you all have dates…” Wooyoung sensed your disappointment and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, “I don’t have a date,”

You looked to Wooyoung as the two of you walked to his car, “Really? You’ve been asked by approximately half of the school.”

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes you making you laugh, “Yeah but that doesn’t mean I wanna go with any of them.” You nibble on your lip in thought, “Maybe you should.”

Wooyoung looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, “What do you mean?” You huff as you get into Wooyoung’s car, “Maybe you should go somewhere with someone who isn’t me for once…”

Wooyoung doesn’t know how he should take that. He can’t tell if you’re actually being sincere, jealous, or if you’re just finally getting sick of him, “Do you not want to go with me?”

You sighed as you grabbed onto Wooyoung’s hand, “Wooyoungie, you know that’s not what I’m saying. I just think that maybe you should just… I dunno, give someone else a chance. Plus you know parties aren’t my scene.” You can tell Wooyoung is hurt by what you said but he’s trying to play it off as he doesn’t care.

Once you arrived at your house Wooyoung unlocked your door and waited for you to get out, “Are you not gonna come in?” Wooyoung shook his head without even looking at you, “I have to help my mom with something, tell your mom I said hi. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

You stayed looking at Wooyoung for a second before stepping out, “Oh… okay. Love you, see you tomorrow.” Wooyoung mumbled an ‘I love you’ before driving off.

You know you shouldn’t really be too affected by Wooyoung right now knowing that he’s upset but that doesn’t stop you from biting your lip in worry.

You open the door and see your mom in the kitchen, “Hey honey, hey Woo.” You pout as your mom unconsciously says Wooyoung’s name because he always comes home with you, “Wooyoung didn’t get off…”

Your mom looks up and immediately knows something’s off, “What happened?” You just shrug and sit at the stool next to where your mom is cutting vegetables, “He got mad at me.”

Your mom laughs softly knowing that it probably wasn’t even a big deal, “Wooyoung got mad because I told him that I didn’t wanna go to prom with him.”

Her eyebrows shoot up “Why don’t you wanna go to prom with him?” You just shrug, “It isn’t that I don’t want to go with him, I just don’t wanna go in general. So I told him that he should go with someone else… because somewhere close to 30 other girls asked him and he rejected them. I told him that he should give someone else an opportunity.”

Your mom looks conflicted. Well shit- that means that what you did was probably terrible and actually really mean. “Y/n sweetheart, Wooyoung rejected the other girls because he wanted to go with you. It’s not like he feels it’s a requirement, you know what I mean?”

You rest your head on the counter, “So you’re saying I should go to prom with Wooyoung?” Your mom shakes her head, “Not if you don’t want to, I’m just saying not to think that Wooyoung thinks he has to.”

“Someone asked me to prom…” your mom's head snapped up to look at you, “Really?! Who was it?” You laugh loudly before responding, “You know that boy that Wooyoung talks about all the time?” This time your mom’s jaw drops, “That boy umm… Seong- something? You know I’m not good with names,”

You nod vigorously as your mom is having a heart attack at what you’re saying, “Yes! Seonghwa! But he asked me today after school… and it was kinda cute? I’ve never seen him so flustered before. His cheeks were so red and he just looked really cute. But I don’t know, like I said I don’t even want to go at all.” You almost leave it at that but make sure to mention the obvious, “but Wooyoung would kill the both of us so that’s a no go.”

Your mom winks at you before leaning in to whisper, “Sometimes you need that adrenaline… just don’t let Wooyoung find out.” You pull away from your mom with a gasp, “You did not just betray Wooyoung like that!” Your mom just shrugs with a laugh.

The next day Wooyoung is really distant and is just pretty much ignoring you. Everyone else notices the shift in your energy making them pretty uncomfortable, “Y/n, what the fuck is happening?”

You look at San for a moment before simply saying, “Wooyoung’s mad at me.” Before San can even ask you why, you walk away and go to your class.

Thankfully that class has pretty much no one that you’re friends with so you’re free of any interrogation. You notice that Seonghwa is in this class so you decide to sit next to him, “H-Hey Seonghwa, sorry about yesterday…”

Seonghwa looks up from his phone to see you sitting next to him making him sit up straight, “Oh, Umm no it’s okay. I can handle rejection…” for some reason that made you feel really sad, “It’s not that I don’t want to go with you, I just don’t want to go in general.”

Seonghwa is looking down at his hands with his lip in between his teeth and your heart literally breaks, “You can just say you’re going with Wooyoung, it’s okay.”

“I-I’m not going with Wooyoung either…” This makes Seonghwa look at you, “Y-You’re not?” You shake your head with a soft smile, “I told you,”

You laugh as Seonghwa visibly perks up. You thought about what your mom had previously told you, “Why don’t you give me your number and maybe we can do something else?”

Seonghwa freezes, obviously not expecting you to ask for his number, “What about Wooyoung? Won’t he like murder you?” You laugh and nod, “Let’s just not let him find out… our secret.” You have your phone held out to him waiting for him to take it. He looks at you cautiously before deciding you were being serious, “Y/n, Wooyoung is going to murder me and send my balls to my mother if he sees my number in your phone.”

You pause for a minute, that being way too specific for Wooyoung to not have said that to Seonghwa, “Uhh… right.” You grabbed your phone from his hand and sent him a smiley face so he would have your number. Before you had a chance to say anything else your teacher walked in starting the class.

You and Seonghwa sat comfortably next to each other, not as awkward as you thought it was going to be.

When class ended Seonghwa walked out with you and you looked around you hoping that Wooyoung wasn’t there. You stopped yourself and looked up at Seonghwa, “Let’s start over yeah? Let’s just forget about Wooyoung and the other boys and not worry about them.”

Seonghwa smiled and nodded but still looked around like he was nervous making you laugh, “See you later,”

The rest of your classes were insanely awkward. Wooyoung still sat next to you and in all honesty it probably would’ve been better if he didn’t. The concerned glances of San and Yunho were becoming too much once it reached lunch time.

Both you and Wooyoung were mindlessly poking at your food and Yeosang was getting sick of it, “What the fuck is y’all’s problem?”

You drop your fork and look at Yeosang, “It’s none of your business.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes at you before snapping, “She doesn’t wanna go to prom with me.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, “Wooyoung I already told you, I just don’t want to go! It has nothing to do with you!” Yeosang already regretted asking.

“Oh okay but you were going to say yes when Seonghwa asked you?” You froze. Yeosang froze. Everyone at the table froze except Wooyoung, if this was a cartoon there’d surely be steam coming out of his ears.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” You can see the veins sticking out on Wooyoung’s neck as his face turns red from anger, “You know exactly what my problem is and you know exactly why Seonghwa wants to take you to prom! He just wants to fuck you and then he’s gonna leave you.”

That was it. You pushed your tray of food at Wooyoung making it spill all over him, “Fuck you.” You’ve never wanted to hit Wooyoung as much as you do in this moment but you knew that it would hurt the both of you even more, so you contained yourself and just walked out of the cafeteria.

Wooyoung sat completely frozen. Everyone was completely shocked at your reaction. They’ve honestly never seen you this angry in the 12 years they’ve been your friend.

“Wooyoung I don’t know what your problem is but you need to fix it.” San stood up and followed you out of the cafeteria so he could make sure you were okay.

He went out the back doors of the school and walked some distance to the line of trees behind the school, that’s where you normally went if you skipped class or were wanting time to yourself.

“Y/n?” You didn’t look towards him opting to continue to text Seonghwa. You don’t even bother turning your phone off when San sits next to you, “Since when are you and Seonghwa all buddy buddy?”

You look at San with pleading eyes, “Please don’t.” San wrapped his arm around you letting you rest your head on his shoulder, “I’m not gonna say anything love, I’m just curious.”

You shrug as you further lean into San, “Just the other day when he asked me to prom, like Wooyoung said. I just- I just don’t know why he got so upset you know? I wasn’t going to say yes but that doesn’t mean he can’t let me deal with it by myself?”

San nods, “You know how protective he is over you, he loves you too much to see you get hurt.” You whisper this last part so quietly that almost San doesn’t hear you, “What if I want to?”

⋆

It was finally the night of prom and Wooyoung was still pissed at you. It's been weeks and you were honestly over it at this point so you didn’t even bother messing with him.

You and Seonghwa have gotten closer, he’s taken you out to eat a few times and you’re constantly texting. You honestly really enjoy his company and may you even go as far to say you like him.

While everyone else is at prom you’re laying in bed with your mom watching whatever’s on. Your phone buzzes and you see Seonghwa’s name. You look to your mom with a guilty look before opening the message,

Seonghwa:): You’re lucky you decided not to come to prom, it’s the most boring party I’ve ever gone to. No one has even spiked the punch yet.

Your mom snorts from beside you, “They still spike the punch?” You laugh and nod, “They do a little more than spike these days…”

Your mom watches as your thumbs hover over the keyboard, “Why don’t you invite him over?” Your eyes widen, “You’re really just betraying Wooyoung up and down these days aren’t you?” But you just shrug and send him a message back.

You: Why don’t you come over?

Seonghwa looks up from the wall he’s leaning against and sees Wooyoung and the rest of your friends sitting at a table looking awfully tense and awkward.

He watched as Wooyoung took a swig from a vodka bottle that he got from god knows where before deciding that he was going to take up on your offer.

Seonghwa stood outside your door for a solid two minutes trying to decide if he should knock or just go home. He doesn’t have a chance to do either before you open the door and look at him in amusement, “You’ve been standing out here for a while… do you wanna come in or not?”

Seonghwa walks in front of you as you close the door. Your mom is watching him in amusement as he looks down with red cheeks, “This is Seonghwa? Like Seonghwa Seonghwa?”

You bite your lip to keep you from laughing, “Yes mom. Seonghwa Seonghwa.” You eye her in warning before she says what you know she wants to, “Anyway, we’re going to my room, if you need anything just call me.”

“Prove that Wooyoung is wrong, Seonghwa” Your head snaps toward your mom with wide eyes, “I’m just kidding, go on.”

Your mom shooed the two of you off as she was too busy laughing.

“S-She’s just joking.” Seonghwa rubs his neck awkwardly, “Wooyoung told your mom about me.” You nod as you open the door to your room and let him go in, “I’d like to say it was all good things but…”

Seonghwa stops to look at your room, “I don’t know why but I didn’t expect your room to be so… cute.” You squealed as you jumped on your bed to cover up the stuffed animals that were sitting there.

Seonghwa grabbed one of your teddy bears and held it as he laid down next to you, “Do you not wanna change?” Seonghwa looked down seemingly like he forgot he was still in his suit, “I don’t have anything to change into…”

You thought for a minute before speaking up, “If it isn’t weird… one of the boys’ clothes will fit you.”

Seonghwa thought for a minute before nodding and standing up, still holding your teddy bear. You smile as he’s hugging the bear, “Looks like you like Mr.B.”

While you're going through your drawers you hear Seonghwa giggle, full on giggle, “You name your stuffed animals?” You pout as you hand Seonghwa a shirt with a pair of sweats, “Here, you can just change here.”

“Okay but don’t look, you aren’t ready for the sexy that I am shirtless.” You raise your eyebrows at Seonghwa with a smirk, “Seonghwa sweetheart, I’m friends with nothing but boys, I’ve seen abs before.”

Seonghwa looks at you expectantly before throwing Mr.B at you making you squeal. You cover your eyes with your hands as you hear him shuffling. You feel something being thrown down at your feet and you get the sudden urge to look.

You slowly separate your fingers and look at Seonghwa with your lip in between your teeth. You inhale sharply when Seonghwa makes eye contact with you as he’s undoing his belt.

Your cheeks are burning as you make no move to look away. Seonghwa doesn’t break eye contact as he pulls his belt through the loops. You whine as you turn over to put your head in the pillows while flailing your legs. You can practically feel the amusement dripping off of Seonghwa. Thankfully he ignored it and laid back down next to you.

Seonghwa was facing you as you were still whining with your head stuffed in the pillow. Seonghwa tapped on your shoulder making you look at him, “You’re really cute.”

You look away with a small smile, “Look at me princess.” You bite your lip as you look back at Seonghwa but you can still hear Wooyoung nagging at the back of your mind.

“Hwa… can I ask you a question?” Seonghwa nods while never looking away from your eyes, “Y-You don’t just want to… f-fuck me and then leave me, right?”

Seonghwa’s eyes flash what you can only express as anger, “Who told you that?” From the tone of Seonghwa’s voice you immediately knew that Wooyoung was lying. From your silence Seonghwa already knew the answer to his question, “It was Wooyoung, wasn’t it?” You pause before nodding carefully.

“Look, I don’t know what Wooyoung told you but that’s not true. Wooyoung- Never mind…” you shake your head, “N-No what?” Seonghwa bites his lip contemplating if he should actually say it, “Wooyoung knows that I l-like you… and I guess he didn’t want you to know so he said that.”

Your mouth parts slightly as you took in what Seonghwa just told you, “You like me? Like, like like me?” Seonghwa looks at you with a smile, “Yeah, like like.”

You just realised that what Wooyoung told you was a complete lie, “W-Wait! So you’ve liked me for three years?” Seonghwa nods sadly before wrapping his arms around you and hiding his face in your neck.

You carefully bring your hand up to run your hand through his hair. You feel a sudden urge of confidence and you pull Seonghwa’s head back to look at you before you carefully place your lips on his.

When Seonghwa doesn’t kiss you back you panic and pull away, “S-Sorry, I should’ve-” you get cut off when Seonghwa grabs your face in his hand and places his lips back on yours.

You pull away with a small whine as you place your head in Seonghwa’s chest and the two of you stay like that for what felt like forever. Seonghwa held you as you started to fall asleep in his arms.

The two of you were asleep for maybe 30 minutes when you woke up to your mom talking to someone. Your phone started to ring and you answered it with a tired ‘yeah?’ It was your mom, “Hide him. Tell Seonghwa to hide- like now.”

You didn’t even ask why before you started hitting Seonghwa’s chest frantically and telling him to go inside your closet. He almost falls on the floor but successfully makes it into the closest in time for your door to swing open.

Your eyes widen when you see Wooyoung walk into your room. You immediately look to Seonghwa not knowing what to do. The door to your closet is partially closed, only open enough for Seonghwa to see out.

“Wooyoung what do you want?” Wooyoung went to sit on your bed with heavy eyes, “I’m here to say sorry.” You would take his apology any other day but he’s clearly drunk right now, “Wooyoung, you’re drunk.”

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. I overreacted.” You kept looking to the closet making Wooyoung turn around in suspicion, “What’re you looking at?” You pull Wooyoung's face to look at you and you press your lips to his.

You honestly surprised yourself but you moved your hand to the direction of the closet and signalled Seonghwa to go. Seonghwa stepped out of the closet but stopped in the middle when he saw you kissing Wooyoung.

You pulled away and Wooyoung was looking at you with eyes the size of disks. You widen your eyes at Seonghwa and try to tell him to go but he points at his clothes on your bed. Shit.

Once again Wooyoung tries to look behind you making you pull him in once again. You kicked Seonghwa’s clothes off the bed and just signaled for him to go and this time he actually did. Once you made sure he was at least in the kitchen you pulled away from Wooyoung.

You quickly get up and kick Seonghwa’s clothes underneath your bed before going in your drawer and handing Wooyoung some clothes, “Here, just change and I’ll get you some water.”

When you closed the door to your room you almost had a heart attack. Seonghwa was in the kitchen talking to your mom and you walked up to them with the reddest cheeks, “S-Seonghwa, I’m sorry… I just- I just couldn’t let him see you. Maybe you can come over tomorrow or something?” Seonghwa nodded and gave you a hug before walking out.

Once you made sure Seonghwa walked out you sighed and almost started crying, “Mom, I like him.” Your mom looked at you like you were stupid, “And?” You looked to your room where Wooyoung was, “Wooyoung doesn’t like him. But he lied about Seonghwa so…” her mouth dropped open as you continued, “Andimaybejustkissedwooyoung but it was so Seonghwa could leave without being seen.”

You quickly grabbed Wooyoung a bottle of water and ran back to your room before your mom could say something. You were glad you and your mom were really close but you still couldn’t handle certain things she said to you.

When you reentered your room Wooyoung was sitting on your bed with the cutest pout, “What’s wrong Woo?”

“Who’s car just left?” You froze with your mouth wide open, “My mom… had a friend over…” Wooyoung nods but then his eyebrows furrow, “I didn’t see them?” You shook your head, “You're drunk Wooyoung.” You hand him the water and he drinks the entire thing like he found water in the desert.

“You need to sleep. Come on, let’s cuddle yeah?” Wooyoung smiles as you wrap your arms around him when you lay next to him.

His eyes never leave yours as he whispers, “I love you.” This time it felt different though. Your heart starts to beat faster as Wooyoung looks at you with loving eyes, “I love you.” Wooyoung shakes his head, “No you don’t, not the same way.”

Your heart almost exploded, “W-Wooyoung your drunk, don’t say things like that.”

Wooyoung grabbed your hand and started playing with your fingers, “But I’m sober enough to know what I’m saying y/n.”

“I-It’s late Woo, you should get some rest.” Before Wooyoung could continue anything he was going to say you turned and faced your back to him with your eyes squeezed shut. What the fuck are you supposed to do? You like Seonghwa but if Wooyoung isn’t just drunk and saying stuff you don’t want to hurt him.

Whenever you woke up Wooyoung was gone. You honestly didn’t know how he managed to get up and leave with a hangover and not wake you up.

You got up and went to the kitten to see your mom looking the most conflicted you’ve ever seen her, “What?” You looked at her with suspicion not knowing what she was going to do.

Once your mom sees you she shakes her head and pretends like whatever just happened didn’t happen, “Wooyoung just left…”

Your eyebrows shot up, “You let him leave?”

“Why not?” Your mom looked at you with furrowed eyebrows making you pout “Because he’s hungover and he can’t drive like that…”

She shakes her head, “He's fine… What about Seonghwa? Are you going to invite him over?”

⋆

After that day you never once brought up Wooyoung’s drunken words, your kiss, or the lie about Seonghwa, too scared that it would ruin your friendship but you had the hunch that it was already falling apart. Everything had been different since that day and you’re not sure in what way. There were lingering stares and touches that made your hearts race a little bit faster.

After a couple of months you and Seonghwa ended up dating and let’s just say when you announced it, it wasn’t pretty. Wooyoung threw what would be best described as a hissy fit and the rest of the boys thought you were joking.

Once they realised you were being serious they all supported you, even Wooyoung. It took Wooyoung the longest though. He ignored you for what felt like forever before San finally convinced him to get over himself.

You all continued to be friends in college, going to the same school. After a while they were finally warming up to Seonghwa and actually thought he was cool which meant a lot to the both of you.

Let’s just say Seonghwa didn’t want to fuck you and leave you because he’s stuck around everytime.

It was at the 4 year mark that Seonghwa proposed to you.

It honestly shocked you way more than it did everyone else, which was saying something.

It was at your 23rd birthday party, in front of the entirety of your friends and family. For whatever reason Seonghwa decided to do it at the birthday party your family held for you, making it all the more stressful.

You were never one for PDA or doing something private and intimate in a public setting or in front of people, so when you saw Seonghwa go down on his knee you almost told him to get up.

Everyone else was either crying or screaming and the only thing you managed to do was look at Wooyoung with wide eyes. You watched as Wooyoung shut his eyes before pushing through the people to leave. You wanted to follow him, you really did but with Seonghwa staring at you with his eyes shining brighter than ever you just couldn’t.

“Will you marry me?” Your eyes started watering and before you knew it you were crying.

The one word completely changed everything so fast it almost gave you whiplash, “Yes.”

The cheers got louder and more tears fell when you wrapped your arms around Seonghwa but it just didn’t feel right. Once everyone calmed down a little bit you went to San, “Where did Wooyoung go?”

He glanced at the ring around your finger with sad eyes, “I think just to the front… I dunno.”

You saw Wooyoung sitting under the big tree in your yard so you go sit next to him without saying anything.

You sit in silence for what felt like forever before you spoke up quietly, “I’m too young to get married aren't I?”

Wooyoung laughs with a nod, “A little bit… you’re still 23, most people wait to get married until their 30’s.”

You knew Wooyoung was right. You were still really young, you haven’t done half the things you wanted to do before you started a family.

“Remember how you always used to say you never wanted to get married? Because it felt like you were trapped?” You snort, “It is.”

Wooyoung turns to look at you with slightly teary eyes, “Then why did you say yes?”

You pause with your mouth opening and closing before you whisper, “I-I don’t know…”

A tear falls from Wooyoung’s eyes making your heart shatter, “D-Don’t leave me, please.”

Tears start leaving your eyes and now the two of you are sitting under your tree crying while looking into the others eyes, “Woo, I would never leave you. I promise.”

Wooyoung lets out a choked sob making you take his face in your hands, “Wooyoung, I love you so fucking much, you have no idea.”

Wooyoung shakes his head as more tears fall from his eyes, “N-Not the same way y/n. I love you. Now you’re engaged to fucking Seonghwa out of everyone. I spent so long keeping him away from you because I just fucking knew that something like this would happen.”

“Woo trust me. It doesn’t matter if I’m engaged to Seonghwa or not I still love you more than anyone and anything in the world.”

While you were outside Seonghwa was running around looking for you. He found San and asked where you were, “She’s outside talking to Wooyoung. I wouldn’t bother them if I were you.”

“Why? Don’t I have the right to-” san shakes his head and stops him, “Just don’t. Let them talk it out okay? If you’re so curious you can see from the window.” San and Seonghwa watch the two of you from the window.

San doesn’t look concerned in the slightest whereas Seonghwa has his eyes filled with concern, “She’s crying.” San shrugs, “So is Wooyoung, she’s fine.”

Seonghwa watches how you have Wooyoung’s face in your hands and the way the two of you are staring into each other’s eyes. He watches as Wooyoung falls into your chest and the way you hold Wooyoung. You’ve never held him like that…

You’re practically sitting on Wooyoung’s lap making Seonghwa turn to San with a confused face, “W-What is she…” San shrugs with an equally confused expression, “I have no idea.”

When Seonghwa tries to go outside San stops him, “Just- Just let them have their moment… please?” Seonghwa lets out a pained sigh as he watches the woman he’s engaged with sitting on the lap of the man who tried to keep them apart in the first place.

You had your eyes closed as Wooyoung rocked you back and forth with his arms wrapped around you tightly, too scared to let go.

You pull away slightly and rest your forehead on his just looking into each other’s eyes, “Wooyoung I’m serious. No matter what, I’m always on your side. I don’t care how much you think I love Seonghwa, I love you more okay? I won’t leave you. Ever.”

You wanted nothing more than to stay with Wooyoung and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay but you couldn’t. No matter how much you wanted to kiss away his tears, you just couldn’t do that to Seonghwa.

You heard a door open and close so you quickly got off of Wooyoung and wiped the tears off your face. When you looked up and saw Seonghwa you tried your best to smile at him without it seeming fake, “There you are. Come on baby, your mom wants to talk to you.”

You didn’t miss the glare Seonghwa gave Wooyoung before pulling you away. You tried to stop the trembling of your lip as Seonghwa brought you back inside with everyone. Your mom took your hand and brought you into her room.

As soon as the door was shut you let out a sob and buried your face in your hands. “Why did you say yes sweetheart?”

You let out incoherent babbles with sobs and sniffles in between, “I have no idea what you’re saying.” Your mom makes you laugh slightly and you finally look at her. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before you start to speak up again.

“I truly w-wanted to say yes but not right now you know? I’m still really young and I have a feeling Seonghwa wants to get married soon and I don’t know…” your mom sighed, “He wants to get married this summer.”

Your mouth dropped open, “It’s December- Summer is in like 7 months.” Your mom nodded with an apprehensive look on her face, “What? You think I’m going to back out or something?”

Your mom doesn’t respond and changes the subject, “A beach wedding would be cute. Especially in the summer.” You really didn’t want to be having this conversation. Not so soon at least.

“Yeah… I’ll talk to Seonghwa about it.” Your mom could clearly see on your face that you didn’t want this, but it wasn’t in her place to say anything. She was confident that you would work it out.

⋆

It had only been maybe a month before Seonghwa started pressuring you to start making wedding arrangements. The two of you settled on a beach side wedding in June. Even though it was still several months away you were still extremely anxious. Everyday that passed you felt the sinking feeling in your stomach grow.

No matter how sudden, how rushed, or how short a time you have, you're going to have a cute flowy dress no matter what anyone else says. It’s too hot to have a skin tight dress or a big ball gown dress.

You had taken Wooyoung and your parents to go dress shopping with you and all of them cried when you put on the dress, Wooyoung for maybe a different reason.

It was tight from your waist up with a sweetheart neckline, making sure to show your figure perfectly. The bottom was flowy covered with pretty sparkles covering the entirety of the dress.

You remember how beautiful you looked with the headdress and veil. The way you looked to Wooyoung with teary eyes had him squeezing his eyes shut to contain himself, “D-Do you like it Woo?”

Wooyoung smiled and nodded even though you could tell he was very obviously upset, “You look beautiful.”

A month after it was time for the anticipated bachelor and bachelorette parties. Bachelorette parties are supposed to be fun right? You had practically no friends that were girls, and the ones you did have you weren’t super close with you. While Seonghwa went out with his friends for his bachelor party you asked Wooyoung to come to your place for yours.

Wooyoung was apprehensive, not knowing if he could really stay with you all night, but he decided that he wanted to spend one last night with you.

You’re not going to say it wasn’t tense or awkward because the lingering stares were too much for the both of you to handle.

You tried to put on a movie to distract from the tension but if anything it made it worse. You were too scared to say anything as Wooyoung’s eyes were glued to your lips, “W-Woo…”

“Can I kiss you?” You stayed silent for a while not knowing what to say, “Wooyoung-”

“Just once. Please.” You couldn't say no. Not when Wooyoung was looking at you the way he was.

You should’ve said no. You should’ve thought about Seonghwa and said no, but as soon as you nodded it was too late.

You felt yourself immediately become hot when Wooyoung’s lips met yours. All thoughts of Seonghwa left your mind the second he held your face in his hands.

Your heart started racing as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. Wooyoung didn’t expect you to keep going but he definitely didn’t want it to stop.

You both knew it was wrong and you both knew you should stop before the both of you got too carried away, but that didn’t stop either of you.

You pulled away so you could catch your breath and the way Wooyoung was biting his lip made your thighs clench.

“Wooyoung, we should stop.” Wooyoung nodded but made no move to get away from you, “Y-You’re right. This is wrong.”

You nodded mindlessly as Wooyoung leaned in again. His lips met yours for the second time and this is what felt right. It felt different from kissing Seonghwa, but in a good way. You didn’t want to pull away.

Wooyoung’s tongue went to lick your lips making you gasp slightly. Wooyoung used that as an opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth.

Your cheeks burned as the kissing sounds were the only thing able to be heard. You unconsciously moved yourself so you were on top of Wooyoung.

Wooyoung gripped your waist and pulled you closer to him before he carefully flipped the two of you so you were laying on your back.

You whimpered quietly as Wooyoung moved to attach his lips to your jaw and neck, “Woo- I-” You whimpered as Wooyoung started sucking lightly on your neck, making sure not to leave marks.

You spread your legs further to make room for Wooyoung to get in between them, “Wooyoung, Please-” Wooyoung pulls away from your neck and looks up at you with dark eyes, “Y/n… A-Are you sure? You don’t have to j-just because I want to.”

You shook your head with a whimper whenever you felt Wooyoung’s boner on your inner thigh, “I want to Wooyoung, j-just please!” Wooyoung groans as you run your hands up his back to grip onto his hair.

Your heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard as Wooyoung lifts your shirt to grope your chest through your bra.

Wooyoung wanted to take his time with you, to make up for all the lost time. He wanted to kiss and mark every inch of your body but he knew he couldn’t, not when he knew tomorrow you were going to be back with Seonghwa.

Wooyoung knew he should stop. Wooyoung knew he should be the bigger person and put his foot down and say that it wasn’t okay. You knew it was wrong, he didn’t have to tell you that but you were too far into it to stop.

“Wooyoung stop.” Wooyoung looked up at you concerned that you changed your mind and wanted to kick him out, “Stop thinking about Seonghwa… it-it’s okay.”

You both knew it wasn’t okay but that was the only thing that could stop the guilt from taking over.

Wooyoung let out a shaky breath as he nodded and went back to pay attention to your chest. He hesitantly lifted your shirt over your head and took a minute to look at your chest.

You didn’t wait for Wooyoung and you quickly pulled your hands behind you to undo your bra. You let it fall down your arms as Wooyoung let out a groan, “F-Fuck~ you’re so pretty.”

You suck in harshly whenever Wooyoung attaches his lips around one of your nipples. Your hand moves to grip onto Wooyoung’s blonde locks as he swirls his tongue around your perky nipple.

The hand that isn’t wrapped around your waist moves to tweak your other nipple between his fingers. Once he decides he’s paid enough attention to one he switches and does the same to the other.

Your mind is clouded with nothing but lust and you can only think about having Wooyoung inside of you, “Wooyoung- please fuck me!” Wooyoung groans before pulling your shorts down, “Patience sweetheart.”

Wooyoung spreads your legs and leaves wet kisses from your ankle to just beside where you need him the most. He repeats his actions with your other leg before placing open mouthed kisses on your clothed core making your thighs close around his head lightly.

“W-Wooyoung!” Wooyoung chuckles deeply before finally sliding your now ruined panties down your legs. Wooyoung bites his lip as he sits back to take in the sight of you naked underneath him.

He slowly brings a hand down to rub his fingers through your soaked folds, “F-Fuck y/n. You’re so pretty. Too bad I can’t have you to myself…”

Wooyoung didn’t want to get into a pity party while you were naked underneath him so he experimentally rubbed your clit in small circles with his thumb making you wither underneath him, “Wooyoung please stop teasing me! Do something!”

Wooyoung honestly didn’t even realise his teasing but he complied and swiftly gripped your hips and placed his head in between your legs.

Wooyoung licked a stripe up your cunt while he tentatively watched your face, trying to engrave the smallest of expressions into his brain. Your hand reached down to grip onto Wooyoung’s locks making him groan against your core.

Your eyes had shut from the pleasure as soon as Wooyoung’s mouth had touched your dripping cunt but you wanted to see him. You forced your eyes open and you swear you almost came at the sight.

Wooyoung lifted his face from your core making a pathetic whine come from your pretty lips whenever you saw his lips and chin covered in your juices.

You bit your lip as Wooyoung made eye contact with you before wrapping his lips around your clit. You moaned loudly whenever Wooyoung had probbed at your entrance.

His two fingers slipped into your tight hole almost completely with how wet you were, “Do you hear that sweetheart?” Your face was burning as you heard the lewd squelching noises coming from your bottom half, “You’re fucking soaked. All for me.”

“Yes Wooyoung! Fuck- all for you, just for you!” Wooyoung was encouraged by your words, and your noises, so he increased the speed of his fingers inside of you.

His fingers weren’t as long as Seonghwa’s so it took him a minute to find that spot inside of you, but when he did your grip on his hair tightened.

Wooyoung smirked against you as he continued to massage the sweet spot in you making you gush juices, “Woo- pleasepleaseplease, G-Gonna cum!” He sucked harder on your clit so he could push you off the edge.

Wooyoung was insanely hard in his pajama pants, almost crossing the edge to becoming painful. Wooyoung smirked as he swiftly added a third finger, making you feel the stretch.

Your mouth dropped open into a silent moan as you came. You pulled harshly on Wooyoung’s hair but he absolutely loved it. His groans were vibrating your clit, only intensifying your orgasm.

“Fuck W-Wooyoung! Fuck me- I n-need you to fuck me!”

Wooyoung wasted no time before he quickly stripped himself of his clothing. You barely had enough time to take the sight in before Wooyoung had his cock in his hand as he ran it through your folds.

He paused making you whine, “W-Wait y/n, condom?” You shook your head and pulled Wooyoung closer to you by wrapping your legs around him, “It’s o-okay… unless you w-want to?”

“I-I mean no but S-Seong-” You groaned and shook your head knowing that if Seonghwa found the condom it would be over.

“It’s okay W-Wooyoung… please?” He took a deep breath in before he slowly pushed in. You both moaned in unison as he had bottomed out inside of you. Wooyoung was a lot bigger than Seonghwa making you feel a stretch you haven’t felt before.

Wooyoung gripped your hips tightly as he tried to contain himself. You were already so tight but the way you were clenching around his cock almost made him cum on the spot, “y-y/n wait. If you keep doing t-that, I'm gonna cum.”

You nod in agreement knowing that you were pretty much walking on the same line he was. After probably a minute too long Wooyoung hesitantly starts to pull out before slowly thrusting back into you.

You let out a choked sob as Wooyoung started to thrust shallowly into you, still determined to tease you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as Wooyoung brought a hand down to rub softly at your already sensitive clit.

After you whined about Wooyoung teasing you again Wooyoung gave in from more of his own need than yours, he would tease you for hours if he had the time and patience.

Wooyoung’s grip on your hips tightened as he slammed his hips into you. So much for wanting to take his time with you.

“Wooyoung! Fuck- y-you fuck me so good!” Wooyoung groaned and placed his feet on the bed so he would have more leverage to fuck into you.

“Y-Yeah? Does it feel good? Does my cock feel good?” Your head spun from Wooyoung’s words.

“Fuck yes- f-feels so good!” Tears sprung in your eyes from the pleasure you were receiving, Wooyoung’s cock hitting your spot with each thrust.

“Does Seonghwa fuck you good like this? Does he fuck you the way you deserve?” You shook your head, not remembering if you’ve ever felt this good before.

“No fuck!” Wooyoung managed to chuckle at your response, “Aww poor baby, you won’t be able to get fucked properly after this. Seonghwa won’t be able to fuck you without you thinking of me. You better be careful baby because once you moan my name it’s over, then you’re gonna be running back to me so I can show you what it’s like to be fucked properly again.”

Wooyoung’s words were becoming too much for you to handle as your legs started to shake. The coil in your stomach was so close to snapping and then your phone rang.

Wooyoung immediately stopped all movements making you let out the loudest whine you’ve ever made, “Wooyoung why- fuck!”

Wooyoung looked around before grabbing your phone, “Your phone is ringing” you honestly almost started crying, “Just leave it-”

Wooyoung shook his head, “It’s Seonghwa.”

You groaned loudly as your high was slowly starting to fade. You grabbed your phone from Wooyoung’s hand and took a deep breath before you pressed the answer button, “H-Hello?”

You heard what was loud music before it got quiet, “What’re you d-doing?” You heard Seonghwa hiccup as he was speaking.

As you started to respond to Seonghwa, Wooyoung started to thrust slowly making you inhale sharply, “oh n-nothing, we’re just watching that new movie…”

You heard someone speaking in the background before grabbing the phone, “Sorry y/n, Seonghwa’s drunk. I told you Seonghwa they weren’t doing anything, have a little more faith in them would ya?” You weren’t even listening to San with Wooyoung starting to increase the speed of his thrusts.

“What?” You held the phone away from your face so they wouldn’t be able to hear your heavy breathing, “Are you sure they’re not fucking?”

Your mouth dropped open in a silent moan whenever Wooyoung started rubbing against your sweet spot, “Wh-What is he talking about?”

San yelled at Seonghwa before bringing the phone back to his ear, “Seonghwa thinks that you’re having sex with Wooyoung.” Your eyes roll to the back of your head when Wooyoung reaches down to rub your clit, “Huh? Like right now?”

You hear San laugh on the other end of the phone like he knows how ridiculous it sounds, “Yeah, anyway, sorry about that. Go ahead and continue with whatever you were doing. Bye!”

You hang up quickly and throw your phone somewhere. You wrap your legs around Wooyoung’s waist and bring him even closer to you, “Did you hear him? Seonghwa thinks we’re fucking right now… little does he know he’s never gonna be able to satisfy you again.”

Once again Wooyoung’s words started bringing you over the edge, “Imagine if he came home and saw us right now, the look on his face when he sees his pretty little wife fucking her best friend.”

Your nails dig into Wooyoung’s back as your core starts to throb around Wooyoung’s cock, “He would see how good I’m making you feel, and he would know by the way your pretty little moans sound that he’s never made you feel this good.”

Without warning the coil in your stomach finally snapped. Wooyoung’s name came out of your mouth like it was the only word you knew. The feeling of you cumming was enough to push Wooyoung off the edge of his orgasm.

Your moans got even louder when you felt Wooyoung’s hot spurts of cum cover your walls. Wooyoung’s moans and groans engraved themselves into your brain as he was right next to your ear.

Your legs were shaking even after Wooyoung had pulled out and was laying next to you. Your cheeks burned red as both you and Wooyoung’s eyes were glued to your legs.

“Has Seonghwa ever made you feel that good before?” Wooyoung asked seriously. You let out a dry laugh before looking at Wooyoung with raised eyebrows, “What did that just look… and sound like?”

Wooyoung laughed before pulling you back on top of him. One of his arms wrapped around your waist while his other hand started running its fingers through your hair, “Like a no?”

You looked up to Wooyoung with a small smile, “Yep…” you looked at the clock on your bedside table and saw that it was only just after midnight, “Woo, we need to get dressed…”

Wooyoung agrees but neither of you make any effort to actually move. Wooyoung feels you becoming heavier on top of him signaling you’re falling asleep. He knows he can’t leave you naked on the bed for Seonghwa to see you and become even more suspicious so he carefully rolls you over to your back and gets up.

He goes over to the drawers and tries to find you some underwear to put on. While he’s over there he finds a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to put on you as well.

He places the clothes on the bed and looks around to find the clothes he had just previously ripped off of you, as much as he wanted you for himself he wouldn’t hurt Seonghwa to know that he had slept with you.

Once he puts the soiled clothing in the dirty clothes he quickly puts his clothes back on so he can go dress you.

As he carefully slips your underwear on you he feels a sudden wave of guilt. He tries his best not to let Seonghwa’s voice in the back of his head get to him as he continues to dress you.

He lifts your top half up as he puts your head through the hole. You mumbled something before you placed your head in Wooyoung’s neck and wrapped your arms around him, “L-Let me see your arms sweetheart.”

You whine quietly before sticking out your arms for Wooyoung and once he succeeded in fully dressing you, you wrapped your arms around him again and pulled him on top of you.

Wooyoung smiled fondly at you when he felt your grip tighten, “Love you Woo.” His heart clenched in his chest, “I love you more sweetheart.” He loved you more than words can explain but he knows you don’t love him in the same way, you couldn’t. Not when you’re marrying Seonghwa.

Wooyoung really tried not to think about it and focused on your breathing and soon enough he fell asleep while holding you.

⋆

Wooyoung woke up to the loud ringing of his phone somewhere. He tried his best to answer before it woke you up too, “Hello?” Wooyoung couldn’t keep up with whoever was on the other end of the line, “Wait wait wait- who is this?”

The person groans, “Yeosang you idiot.” Wooyoung makes a noise of acknowledgement before telling him to continue. As Yeosang is talking, Wooyoung looks over to your sleeping form next to him.

You just look so peaceful and so beautiful that Wooyoung can’t help but groan in annoyance making Yeosang stop talking, “What?”

Wooyoung carefully gets up to go to the kitchen so he wouldn’t wake you up, “Yeosang I fucked up big time.”

Yeosang pauses and Wooyoung hears shuffling so he's assuming he’s going somewhere else, “Please don’t tell me what I think happened…”

“Are you at your place?” Yeosang sighed harshly, “San and Yunho are here too though.”

Wooyoung nodded and went back to your room to grab his bag, “It’s okay… Seonghwa?”

“Oh his way back home… so you better leave before you feel too guilty.” Wooyoung agreed and hung up. He sits down next to you and brushes the hair out of your face before kissing you gently.

Your eyes flutter open as Wooyoung is pulling away. You grab onto his face and pull him into another kiss. When you pulled away you looked at him with your lip in between your teeth, “Are you leaving?”

Wooyoung smiles sadly and nods, “Seonghwa is coming back so I think it’s best if I go…” he watches as your eyes widen in a panic before he pulls you closer to him.

“No no no it’s okay! Hey sweetheart it’s okay, it’ll be fine.” You wrap your arms around him tightly, not wanting to let go, “Please stay?”

You looked at Wooyoung with watery eyes that made him want to give you the world, “I want to baby I really do, but Seonghwa he’s gonna be here in a minute and… I don’t think we could be in the same room as him right now.”

You nodded knowing that he was right but you still don’t pull away. Wooyoung gets up making him pick you up while he’s at it. He drops your legs so you’re standing on your tippy toes, “I love you.”

Wooyoung tightens his grip on you and rests his head on your neck, “Love you.” You finally let go of him but almost immediately grab onto his face to give him one more kiss, “Y/n-”

The way you’re looking at Wooyoung makes him weak and he can’t resist when you plea, “One last time. Please?”

Wooyoung holds your face with both of his hands as he kisses you with much love he can possibly muster. You let out a soft whine making him pull away, “I-I have to go…” you nod but when you make an effort to actually sit back down your mouth drops open and makes a noise of slight pain and discomfort.

Wooyoung snores loudly at you making you glare at him, “Sore?” You nod with a pout making Wooyoung feel a wave of pride mixed with slight anxiety, what if Seonghwa notices?

“I know that look Woo. I’ll be fine, it's okay.” Wooyoung nods once again but still looks concerned, “Want me to run you a bath? It’ll help.” You consider his offer but decline knowing that he couldn’t join you even if he wanted to.

Wooyoung finally makes his way to the front door, double checking he had everything he needed. He pulls the door open right as Seonghwa is pushing it open making him jump, “Holy shit! You scared me!” Seonghwa jumped too making him hold his hand over his heart, “Are you fucking serious?!”

The both of them stand at the doorway trying to calm down from the jump scare they both just received, “So, are you leaving already?” Wooyoung opens and closes his mouth trying to find the words before nodding, “Yeah, Yeosang asked me to take them something to eat… did y’all have fun last night?”

Seonghwa looks unsure of his answer but nods anyway, “Yeah, you know how it is with the boys… what about you and y/n?” Wooyoung panics slightly but nods, “Umm yeah, we just ate some snacks and watched a few movies.”

Seonghwa nods and they both stare at each other awkwardly before Wooyoung speaks up, “S-Sorry, I gotta go… the boys, they’re waiting.” Seonghwa nods and moves out of the way for Wooyoung to walk out.

Once Seonghwa closed the door, Wooyoung let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. When Wooyoung got to his car he threw his head against the steering wheel and let out a loud groan.

He fucked up big time.

When Wooyoung drives to Yeosang’s place he actually stops to go get food knowing they’re probably starving… plus if Seonghwa asks he doesn’t want him to know he was lying.

When he knocks on the door, San opens it with a large smile when he sees the bags of food Wooyoung was holding.

Wooyoung doesn’t even greet san before shoving the bags of food into his hands and walking into the apartment, “I fucked up.”

Yeosang and Yunho who were sitting at the table drinking coffee looked towards him. San followed Wooyoung completely confused, “Like our order?”

“No you idiot.” Wooyoung sits at one of the empty chairs at the table before looking at Yeosang with an extremely distressed look, “We- I fucked up big time Yeosang.”

Yunho’s eyes widen when he gets an idea of what happened, “We? As in You and y/n?” Wooyoung wanted nothing more than to say no and lie but whenever he nodded all three boys in front of him exploded.

“Wooyoung are you fucking kidding me?!” San had nothing else to say knowing that you had lied straight through your teeth whenever Seonghwa had called you. But then again what did he expect you to say, ‘Yeah I’m fucking my best friend’ obviously not.

“Even after Seonghwa had called her? After she told me straight up that that didn’t happen?” Yeosang really doesn’t look surprised but Yunho on the other hand looks like he’s having a heart attack.

Wooyoung shakes his head in response to San’s question, “So before?!” Wooyoung suddenly feels an immense amount of guilt as he shakes his head again.

San looks confused for a moment before his mouth drops open, “While we were on the fucking phone Wooyoung!” Wooyoung has never wanted to lie more in his entire life but he can’t bring himself to do it so he slowly nods.

A million expressions pass through San’s face and Wooyoung can’t stand the harsh glares of his friends, “Wooyoung- they’re getting married… MARRIED WOOYOUNG!” Wooyoung scoffs at Yunho who’s looking at him like he’s trash.

“You don’t think I fucking know that? It was just a kiss Yunho a-and then I pulled away. We both said we couldn’t do it but then she kissed me again…” Their glares soften as they see as Wooyoung starts to tear up.

“And I asked her like 3 times if she wanted me to keep going and every time she said yes. I-I’m not saying it’s y/n’s fault… because I was the one that started it. And yeah I know it wasn’t a very smart decision but I- Yunho I love her so much.”

Yunho sends Wooyoung a sad smile as he continues. All the boys know how Wooyoung feels about you so in all honesty they really don’t blame either of you, “I love her so fucking much and in that moment I know she felt the same way… I just couldn’t handle it. And Yunho this morning when I told her I had to go- she kissed me again and begged me not to leave. She begged me to stay and give her kisses while we laid together but I couldn’t. I couldn’t Yunho, not when Seonghwa was on his way home to come back to his fiancé.”

Wooyoung wipes the tears that are falling whenever he finally stops talking. The three boys look between each other not knowing what to do or say, “Do you think she’s going to go through with it?” Wooyoung looked at the other boys expectantly with nothing but Hope filling his eyes.

In all honesty they really didn’t think you were, but it wasn’t their business to put out there. “You know Wooyoung… I don’t know. I really don’t know, but for now all we can do is wish the best for both of them…” San put his arm around Wooyoung, trying his best to comfort him in any way possible.

⋆

You saw Seonghwa open the door to your room with a large smile. You got up from the bed to wrap your arms around him in a big hug. You squeezed your eyes shut as you let out a shaky breath, “How was your night?”

“We had fun, believe it or not, I wasn’t the one who got the drunkest.” You laughed softly as you pulled away.

You sat back down with a slight grunt, “You alright?”

You nodded as you swallowed harshly, “I slept wrong, my back hurts.” Seonghwa nods in understanding.

He walks to the bathroom and you flop back onto the bed. You shut your eyes and cover your face with your hands as you felt like crying.

As you tried to focus on your breathing Seonghwa came out of the bathroom and pulled on your hand. You looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, “I ran you a bath princess.”

You smile and follow Seonghwa, “I’ll let you relax alright?” You nod as he kisses you on the cheek, thankful that he doesn’t want to join you.

As soon as Seonghwa walked out you locked the door behind him and looked at yourself in the mirror. You couldn’t do this. You scanned yourself in the mirror as you took your clothes off, trying to make sure there weren’t any hickeys on you.

You carefully went to sit down in the bath with a pained expression and a groan. You soaked your body in the water and bubbles and you couldn’t stop the tears that started flowing from your eyes.

You couldn’t stop the soft sobs and the way your body shook. You needed Wooyoung.

You don’t know how long you sat there and cried but the water was now cold and your fingers were wrinkly.

You looked down and your eyes widened as you saw the bruises on your thighs and hips, “Shit Wooyoung-”

“Are you okay in there?!” Seonghwa knocked on the door and called out to you.

“Umm… yeah I’m okay! I’m getting out now!” You looked at yourself in the mirror one more time and you could tell you had been crying for who knows how long. You tighten the towel that’s wrapped around you as you walk back into your shared room to get some clothes to change into.

You made sure you grabbed a pair of sweats to cover the bruises and a random shirt. You grabbed your phone and pressed San’s contact as you walked out of the room, ignoring Seonghwa who was looking at you.

San answered your call almost immediately, “Hey my love, what’s up?”

“San cut the bullshit, I know he’s there.” San was quiet on the other line before you heard a door close.

Your breathing was shaky and you walked out of your apartment, needing to get some fresh air, “Y/n what the fuck were you thinking? You’re getting married!”

You laughed dryly, “Do you think I don’t fucking know that? I’m not oblivious to what I did.”

“You lied right through your teeth. How do you think Seonghwa would feel?” Tears started pricking at your eyes again because you know you would’ve broken Seonghwa’s heart.

You know how much Seonghwa loves you and it hurts you knowing that your love for Seonghwa isn’t as strong, “San I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do lovely… you’re getting married in a week. A week y/n. You need to decide if you’re going to call it off or not.”

You shook your head, “I can’t do that Sannie. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You heard a sigh, “You need to talk to Seonghwa. Y/n I know you don’t want to go through with it. No matter what decision you make, it’s going to hurt Seonghwa.”

You didn’t even realise you started crying again until San started trying to comfort you, “Hey, y/n, listen to me. Everything is gonna be okay. You and Wooyoung will work it out.”

You nodded more to yourself, “Y-You’re right. Look, I got to go. Take care of Wooyoung for me.” You didn’t let San respond before you hung up the phone and shut your eyes.

You fucked up and you knew it. You were getting married in a few days and you just cheated on the man you’re getting married to.

You dragged your feet as you walked back to your apartment, wanting to take as much time as possible getting there.

Seonghwa was at the door and immediately walked to you whenever you walked back in. You stiffened as Seonghwa pulled you into a hug, “What’s wrong princess?”

“N-Nothing. It’s nothing, I’m okay.” Seonghwa pulled away and held your face in his hands. He raised his eyebrows at you, knowing that something was wrong, “I’m sorry. I’m just really stressed with everything going on.”

Seonghwa nodded in understanding, “It’s okay. I’ll take care of everything, we’ll work it out. Love you.”

“Love you.”

⋆

Your wedding day. It’s the day that should be the happiest moment of anyone’s life. You and Wooyoung haven’t seen each other since… then, but he texted you this morning making sure that you were okay.

Your mom and San and a couple other members of your family were helping you with your hair and makeup, San was just there for emotional support.

Everyone could see it in your face, you didn’t want to do this. Everyone tiptoed around you being careful not to mention Wooyoung or being married even though you were literally sitting there in your wedding dress looking out the window.

Your wedding was at the beach. It was supposed to be beautiful. There was a breeze, the ocean looked absolutely beautiful, and it was sunny.

The perfect wedding right?

San made sure you had everything you needed because you really didn’t have any motivation. You had barely finished your vows and Seonghwa had gotten his done months ago.

It was time that San had to leave and go help Seonghwa and the rest of the boys. San pulled you into a hug and you didn’t want to let go, “S-San please stay.”

“You’ll be okay darling. Just… don’t force yourself to do anything okay? You’ll know what the right decision is when you get up there.” San gave you an unconvincing smile but you nodded and took a deep breath.

San gave you a kiss on the forehead and one last hug before he went to join Seonghwa and Wooyoung.

San’s heart physically broke whenever he walked into the opposite room. He could see how happy Seonghwa looked and how Wooyoung looked like he was going to cry.

San felt so awkward but he was pained by his friends. He walked over to where the rest of the boys were, “What the fuck is going on?”

San made sure to speak quietly so neither Wooyoung or Seonghwa could hear them, “Dude there’s no way.”

“No?” Yunho looked at San with a sad smile as he shook his head.

The three boys sat there quietly as they watched Wooyoung try his best to keep a smile on his face as Seonghwa read his vows to Wooyoung. They really felt bad for Wooyoung.

Once poor Wooyoung confirmed his vows, it was time. Seonghwa stood in front of y’alls family and friends with Wooyoung next to him looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

If literally everyone was being honest, they didn’t think they’d actually be sitting there looking at Seonghwa. No one had ever imagined anyone else but Wooyoung standing there.

You wanted Wooyoung to walk you down the aisle but in the end it didn’t seem very smart so you had your closest family member do it. You stood at the exit of the building trying to force yourself to walk out. You took a couple of deep breaths before you heard the music start to play.

You felt like you were going to simultaneously vomit and shit yourself.

Your heart felt heavy as you saw Seonghwa looking happier than ever and your feet felt more like cinder blocks the closer you got.

You were tearing up and before you knew it, your body was shaking with soft sobs. Seonghwa was the complete opposite, his eyes shone with only love as he took your hands in his.

Wooyoung had the dreaded task of being the ring bearer, even though he wasn’t a child, so he walked from his spot next to Seonghwa in front of the two of you to hand Seonghwa the box with the rings.

Wooyoung gave you the most pained smile you’ve ever seen and you couldn’t help yourself when you pulled Wooyoung in for a hug. You both held onto each other so tight, absolutely terrified of letting go. Finally Wooyoung decided to pull away with teary eyes and quickly went back to his spot.

Usually the groom goes first in saying his vows, but you decided that you wanted to start out.

You forced out a laugh as you started, “Seonghwa… we’ve known each other for the longest time. After I realised that you were just a big softie who smelt like c-cinnamon all the time… cinnamon… that’s how you make me feel, warm like cinnamon.”

Wooyoung’s heart froze. Maybe it was just a coincidence? It had to be. Until you said it again… and again… and when you gave Wooyoung the look, he knew he had to do something.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just grab you and run, but he also couldn’t let you exchange rings.

Wooyoung’s adrenaline was pumping and he was suddenly glad he was there. His breathing got faster and he started shifting his weight anxiously, “You okay Woo?” San, who had noticed Wooyoung’s shift in mood was now… concerned to say the least.

Wooyoung couldn’t focus on anything else you were saying and before he knew it you had the ring and Seonghwa had his hand held out.

Your hand was so shaky and your vision was blurry from all the tears and you dropped the ring. That was Wooyoung’s opportunity, “I’ll get it-”

You glanced at Wooyoung and you knew, “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Seonghwa- I’m sorry, I love you so much.”

Behind Seonghwa, the boys shut their eyes in anticipation and your mom gave Wooyoung a knowing look with a nod.

Seonghwa looked confused for a minute before Wooyoung successfully found the ring and gave it to Seonghwa.

You and Wooyoung looked at each other for a minute before he grabbed your hand and started running.

You wanted to look back but you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to see the look on Seonghwa’s face as you ran away with Wooyoung.

You listened to the gasps of everyone you passed by but in all honesty, most weren’t surprised.

San, Yunho, and Yeosang looked at each other in both shock and relief. They honestly were really close to running with the two of you.

It was dead silent besides the sound of the ocean. No one knew what to do. Do they just… leave? Do they wait? If you ran you’re probably… not coming back.

San really wanted to cheer you on but it would obviously be a little bit insensitive with Seonghwa standing there so he contained his cheers with the biggest smile on his face.

Seonghwa couldn’t even comprehend what happened. There was no emotion on his face. He looked at the ring in his hand to where you and Wooyoung were distant.

The two of you couldn’t be seen anymore and you finally stopped Wooyoung, “W-Wooyoung I’m in heels. The beach isn’t nice to heels.”

“Let me carry you then.” Wooyoung lifted you up bridal style and walked you back to the parking lot. When he found his car and let you down and looked at you with a cheesy smile.

You rolled your eye at him with a matching smile as you got into his car. As soon as Wooyoung got in he took off before anyone could find y’all. You watched Wooyoung as he was driving, “Do you think that was a little too harsh?”

Wooyoung thought for a moment, “Umm, I- maybe wasn’t the best outcome but it wasn’t the worst.”

You bit your lip in thought before you spoke, “Wooyoung I love you.”

Wooyoung glanced over to you as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel he was staying at, “I love you.”

“No- Wooyoung I love you a-and I’m so sorry that I had to make you go through that.”

“Y-n, it’s okay-”

“No it’s not. It was so much unnecessary pain for the both of us. Me and Seonghwa, we were never going to work out. It just wasn’t meant to be. You’re what I want- no need. You’re my soulmate Wooyoung, and I know that’s cheesy and I understand if you just wanna give up on me and just be friends again… but that’s okay. It’s better than not being with you at all. It was so hard Wooyoung- I’m so used to being with you 24/7, i'm used to the way we used to cuddle, the way you would hold me and make me feel like everything is going to be okay and I miss it so much-” you continued to ramble until Wooyoung grabbed your face to get you to stop.

Your heart already felt like it was going to explode but when Wooyoung pressed his lips against yours, everything was calm.

It was right. This is how it was supposed to happen, with Wooyoung. Wooyoung was what you needed.

You pulled away with a smile, “Come on.” You got out of the car and walked into the hotel with Wooyoung trailing behind you. Y’all got a few stares along with a couple of ‘congratulations’ thrown at you making you laugh at Wooyoung's flushed cheeks.

Wooyoung takes your hand in his as he leads you to his hotel room. He immediately shuts the door and you move to sit on the bed.

The tension in the room was thick. You both knew what you wanted to happen but neither of you were making the move.

“Kiss me Wooyoung.”

That was the only push he needed. Wooyoung’s lips crashed against yours as you leaned back so you were laying on the bed. Wooyoung hovered over you and you held onto him tightly.

When Wooyoung pulled away he looked at your dress and laughed softly, “I- I don’t know how to take it off…”

You groaned at Wooyoung but you sat up and directed Wooyoung how to take it off. Wooyoung tried not to ruin the moment completely so he let his lips trail along your neck and shoulder.

Wooyoung pulled you so you were standing up and let the dress fall off of you. He picked you up and laid you in the middle of the bed while biting his lip.

Wooyoung sat up and took a minute to look at you, “W-Wooyoung-”

“Patience darling, I’m taking my time with you this time.” You whined as Wooyoung lowered himself down and attached himself to your neck.

“Wooyoung you can’t-” Wooyoung scoffed against your shoulder before he started to suck marks.

“Why not? You’re mine now.” You couldn’t stop the smile that came across your face before you squealed whenever Wooyoung bit down on your neck.

Your breathing was heavy as Wooyoung slowly made his way down your body with sloppy kisses and hickeys on your chest and stomach.

Wooyoung reaches your thighs and you stop him, “W-Wait.”

You grab onto his hips and bring him lower so you could grab onto his belt. You let Wooyoung straddle your waist as you shoved your hand in his pants to release his cock.

Your mouth watered as you slowly jerked Wooyoung off. He looked down at you with dark eyes and a parted mouth. Wooyoung reached underneath you to undo your bra with a groan when he saw you exposed underneath him, “You’re so pretty and you're all mine.

Your core was throbbing with need but you just ignored it in an opt to get Wooyoung off and his cock was pulsing in your hand.

You let out soft whimpers as Wooyoung kneaded your tits in between tweaking your nipples.

Suddenly Wooyoung pulled away from you making you groan before he moved up and held his cock in front of your lips. You immediately took him between your lips and sucked on his tip lightly.

Your legs instinctively spread as Wooyoung had a hand resting on your hip. He took that as a cue to dip his hand into your panties.

Wooyoung immediately felt how wet you are with a cocky smirk on his face, “I knew you’d come back for me to fuck you properly. Good thing you’re mine now so you’ll always get fucked right, just how you deserve.”

You pulled away from Wooyoung’s cock because you knew he was on the verge of cuming, “C-Cum in me.”

Wooyoung groaned deeply, “Please Wooyoung, show me that I’m yours. Make me yours.” He watched you for a second in complete disbelief before he gathered himself and spread your legs further as he carefully pushed into you.

You moaned loudly, remembering the stretch of Wooyoung’s cock. Your pussy pulsed around his cock, pushing him over the edge. Your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth was open as you took in the feeling of Wooyoung filling you.

Your legs wrapped around Wooyoung loosely as he started to thrust inside of you. He was still fully hard and was determined to get you to cum twice because he can’t be the one getting all the pleasure.

You were already embarrassingly close to cuming untouched so you almost came immediately after Wooyoung picked up his pace.

The fact that Wooyoung was still fully dressed while you’re completely naked was a lot hotter than it should be, so you grabbed onto his tie and pulled him down to attach his lips to yours.

Sloppy noises filled the room from your kisses along with your cum mixing together on your bottom half.

All the sensations mixed together were too much for you to handle especially when Wooyoung let his fingers trail down and rub figure eights on your clit.

You let out a muffled sob as your legs wrapped around Wooyoung’s waist again and held him close to you as you came. Your sobs mixed with whines got louder as Wooyoung slowed his thrusts, “Nonono! Don’t! Please don’t stop- please Wooyoung!”

Wooyoung laughed at how desperate you were before pulling out of you. You started babbling about how you needed to cum again and Wooyoung cocked his head in fake sympathy, “Aww, do you? I guess since I’m being nice today I’ll let you cum again.”

Wooyoung swiftly pushed back into you, making tears start running down your cheeks from how good it felt, “Does my cock make you feel that good? So good that you’re crying?” You couldn’t even answer Wooyoung properly from the pleasure you were feeling.

Wooyoung couldn't understand the incoherent babbling but he continued to tease you, “Huh, look at that, not only are you crying, but you're drooling too.” Your mouth was wide open and Wooyoung snorted as he used the opportunity to press his thumb against your tongue, “You’re so messy and I can tell you're about to make an even bigger mess.” He was right, you were about to cum again.

Wooyoung was waiting for you to cum again before he did. As much as his words affect you, they do the same to him.

He gripped your hips tightly as your legs tightened further around him, completely trapping him inside of you so you could cum again. Once again with the way you were throbbing so deliciously around Wooyoung’s cock, it didn’t take long for him to cum inside of you again.

Your soft whines and Wooyoung’s groans were filling the room as you both came down from your second orgasm.

As soon as Wooyoung pulled out of you, all of your mixed cum started to drip out of you and Wooyoung watched with furrowed eyebrows. He reached over to grab his phone and before you knew it, you saw a flash go off, “Jung Wooyoung I know you did not just take a picture of my pussy-”

Wooyoung laughs and takes a couple more, “I’m gonna put it as my background.”

“I dare you…”

Wooyoung pats your knee and gets up to get a wet towel to wipe off the mess on your pussy and thighs, “I told you- so messy.”

You roll your eyes and smack Wooyoung’s arm, “It was all you!”

Wooyoung looks at you with a smug smile, “Yeah, only because I fuck you so well. Now get up.”

“Wooyoung I can’t…” he really really wanted to make another remark but he decided to stop teasing you and removed the sheet from around you before you moved off of it.

It was actually kinda late and he was surprised neither of your phones were blowing up but he realised he had his on ‘do not disturb’

As Wooyoung was getting a set of clothes to sleep in he checked his call log and saw like 50 calls from several people.

“Don't call anyone back. At least not yet…” Wooyoung looked to where you were as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“I won’t… I want to stay with you.”

 You held your arms open for Wooyoung and he walked over to you with a smile, “But here, you need to put some clothes on before I wanna fuck you again.”

You giggle as you put on the shirt and boxers Wooyoung gave you before you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

The two of you lay in each other’s arms until you speak up softly, “I told you I’d never leave you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Wooyoung didn’t take his eyes away from yours as he spoke, “I love you so much y/n and I know you’ve always felt the same a-and then you said yes when Seonghwa asked to marry you-”

“I know. It was always you Wooyoung, and I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’m all yours.”

[you-are-my-neverland]

[id: a header with a deep blue gray background. in the center, there is a circular photograph of a lighthouse. behind the photo is a monoline sun, eclipsed by the photo. in block text across the center reads ‘the metamorphosis of the lost: an update’ / end id]

it’s been a while since i’ve done one of these, but my writing has been going pretty well these past couple of weeks, so while i prepare other content (re: character intros (!!!). in 2022, i’ve managed to cobble together act iii: relapse, which was written over the course of the spring semester. i also, more recently, started act iv: revolution, and that’s going by nicely, especially as i strive to meet my daily word goals (hello, excel spreadsheet). 

anyways, in honor of having a taglist with more than one person on it, i’ve decided to post a few excerpts, which i haven’t really done for this wip lol. 

all words + the taglist will be under the cut for length purposes.

i. the red saint & her shadow. 

(an interaction between june and india from the beginning of act iii. a/n: this was written at the beginning of the year. writing them currently, i really feel like i’m missing something from their dynamic, so i’ve been rereading this scene a lot lol.)

Belladonna was quiet, her face slightly pinched beneath the domino. 

“If you didn’t have to,” she started. “Then why did you?”

“How could I not?” India said, and it sounded too honest, too vulnerable, even to her own ears, as if it was painfully obvious she was revealing some hidden part of herself to someone else. “Back then, I believed they were helping the city. When I was younger, I used to scoff at the idea of vigilantes and heroes, but after a while, after seeing it firsthand, I did become convinced that I could change things for the better for someone else. It gave me a drive for the first time in my life. Instead of just trying to survive for no particular reason, I could do something about it.”

“Yes, I was young. Fifteen. All the people I know started out younger.” She paused, thinking carefully over how to formulate her next thought. “Someone I knew used to always say that we can’t help what happened to us, or what it turns us into, but we can try and change ourselves once we see our own reflection. We can make things clearer. We can use what we see as flaws to do better. I grew up in the South District. I was an orphan. I learned how to hurt other people to protect myself. I never thought about justice because I never thought it was something I could control.”

Until now. Until then.

India hated to think that Vin had given her anything, but he had. He had given her power for the first time in her life, had allowed her to write her own destiny, decide how she wanted to do things, more so than anyone else had ever before.

It was what had blinded her, in the end. Believing that following someone else’s cause was her own. India had been beholden just as everyone else was; that was why she had been benched. She just hadn’t realized it, how trapped she actually was.

Now she was free. Now no one could tell her what to do. Now India was allowed to decide what was right and wrong and act on it. 

No more changing herself. No more being told to be better, be different, be someone else, someone they thought was more than whatever she was, a South District orphan born and raised on the rocks, unable to outgrow her own edges for fear of how unprotected it would leave her. India might not love her roots, but they were hers, in the end. She had come from this city. She was Kevlan, through and through. 

ii. flame & phantom

(another excerpt from act iii. emrys and mika go patrolling after finding out india is alive as the red saint, but are unable to save a woman’s life. a/n: somehow, a lot of tmotl ended up being emrys’ story, which i can’t say i mind. her pov is a lot of complicated thoughts most of the time.)

She had said she could do this. She had sounded so cool and confident, too. Emrys had been proud of herself, for being able to stand up for what she wanted. The rest of the conversation hadn’t gone as well, but she hadn’t let herself be shut down. Not this time. 

Now, she thought that they probably had a point, about her. Maybe she couldn’t do this.

Maybe she could.

Maybe both thoughts were equally terrible.

“I’m going to find India,” she announced. The flames licked at the edges of the jacket, already crinkling, the outer layer peeling away as the cloth beneath caught more easily, the fire dancing up into the sky with a bright shower of sparks that had her flinching back and shielding her face. The embers fell to the ground around Mika’s feet, burning and burning and then burning out.

Mika didn’t say anything. Emrys glanced at him coolly, and found him looking away from her. Fine by her. She didn’t care if he approved or not; better he didn’t notice she was gone at all, until she could clear more space.

Emrys waited another few seconds just to be sure, ignoring the part of her that whispered that she should check on him, make sure he was okay, but this was Mika. He was never not okay. Nothing fazed him, and no one. 

She sighed, staring down at her own feet, battered and bruised through the white of the ballet flats. There were drops of blood scattered along the seams, which bothered her now that she had noticed; she couldn’t stop focusing on it, the innocuous drops in no pattern except the one she conjured.

Mika still hadn’t said anything. Emrys looked at the embers of the jacket, then turned to scan the skyline, wondering where she could start, the wind whipping through her body and helping to pull her seams apart with vicious, grabby hands.

The abandoned warehouse, she thought. The place where India had died. She should start there, right? If there was going to be anything anywhere, it would be there. Maybe a clue to India’s resurrection, even. 

Emrys started to walk without even really thinking about it, setting forward at a determined pace, quickening as she got further and further away from the fire, and getting colder and colder. Without her jacket, much of the skin of her body was bare to the winds, her tank top protective but not warm. Kevla had vicious winters, so the fall became crueler as the months went by.  

She had turned the corner by the time she heard the footsteps behind her, not clattering or loud, but soft and steady, a quiet, rhythmic thump that belayed Mika grabbing her arm and grinding them both to a halt as he slowed, clothes and hair settling back down on his body as gravity descended.

“Let me go,” she said, white knuckled.

Mika let her go. Emrys turned to move, and he tripped her. It was only years of getting used to falling that had her catching herself with a half-dance of steps, turning so that they were facing one another.

“Enough of this,” Mika said. His eyes were burning. She could hear the quiet sounds of him breathing, harsher than normal.

“No,” she said. “I told you. I’m going to find India.”

“And Crow and X-le told us not to,” Mika said.

Emrys scoffed. “Like you’re the poster child for following orders.”

“Enough,” Mika repeated. “We’re either finishing patrol or going home.”

Another Emrys would have been happy that he used the word home, but this Emrys was feeling vicious and vengeful and torn up inside.

“I don’t want to,” she said spitefully. 

“Flame,” Mika said, the warning clear. 

“You’re my partner, not my boss,” Emrys said scornfully.

“I’m not either of those things,” Mika hissed, stepping closer. “I’m just the person making sure you don’t fuck anything up.”

That hurt. Emrys didn’t flinch, and was absurdly proud of herself for growing thicker skin in the time since a few hours ago. She was getting better and better at it.

“I didn’t ask you to do that!” she burst out. “You’re the one that followed me to begin with. I never asked for your help.”

“But you needed it,” Mika said, and though she couldn’t see his mouth, she could picture the small, cruel tilt of his half smile. She had to narrow her eyes to stop tears from falling, already feeling them well up in her eyes, like she was some weak and pathetic person who couldn’t keep it together.

“I’m going to look for India,” she repeated. “You can go home if you want.”

iii. sunrise after the fall gala

(an interaction between india and june in the aftermath of the fall gala (which takes up the majority of the beginning of act iv) and india’s ill thought out confrontation with the black saint. a/n: more recent writing and a more recent interaction between these two. act iv has been a mess lol.)

The laugh slid off India’s face.

“You can’t create something from nothing,” she said savagely. “I imagine that not even Catrin Flint can save someone who was burned alive.”

“Someone could,” June replied steadily.

“Then maybe it was Kevla herself,” India remarked sarcastically, rising to her feet and gritting her teeth against the spasm her leg sent.

“You’re really not curious?” June asked, also standing. The morning air nipped at her cheeks, the rosy glow of the rising sun starting to cascade over the skyline ahead of them. 

India shrugged carelessly. “It’s not that I’m not,” she said. “It’s just that it doesn’t matter. Or, it didn’t.”

June eyed her, pondering the words. In a way, that was understandable. June herself tried to care as little as possible pertaining to the motive of The Organization or the Benefactor. Motivation didn’t matter in the end. It was the actions that did.

They were both women of action, though they went about it very differently.

“Will I be hearing from you soon?” India asked after a second. 

June looked at her, parsing her thoughts.

India raised an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, we were kind of in on this together, right? This whole revenge scheme, or whatever you want to call it,” she hurriedly corrected after June coolly raised an eyebrow at the words “revenge scheme.”

June considered her. “Yes,” she said after a pause. “We are.”

India smiled. It transformed her face beneath the domino, softening the edges. India, June had found, often bared her teeth, but rarely smiled.

“I’m a comm away,” she said, sounding almost pleasant and energized at the prospect.

“I might take you up on that soon,” June said.

“Not gonna kiss and tell then?” India replied. “Just going to string me along.”

June surprised herself by the sharp half laugh that bubbled out of her.

“You’ve been helpful,” she said instead of replying, doubting that she could match India’s newfound wittiness. She had always had a sense of humor, even as a child. June was used to being the dour, serious one. Now she was the serrated blade, cold as steel and just as harsh. “Thank you.”

India sobered, looking at her as if she was an alien before she managed a stiff and slightly unsure, “You’re welcome.”

“Take care of yourself,” June added. “I don’t want to find you dead in a ditch before you can be useful.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” India replied sarcastically, but they had talked enough times for June to pick up the undercurrent of fondness with which she said it. “Take care, Belladonna.” She gave June a two fingered salute, and June found herself returning her impression of it before she could stop herself.

India smiled, and then she was sauntering off into the darkness, only a slight limp in her step and the helmet tucked under her arm any indication of what had gone down only hours previously.

June smiled privately to herself. India was wearing off on her.

taglist (scream to be added or removed!):  @cannivalisms   @sunshineomeara @thepixiediaries @muddshadow

[reality-refuge]

Check In Tag ✔️

I was tagged by both @natolesims and @fataleromeo ! Thank both of y'all for thinking of me!

Why did you choose your URL?

I discovered simblr and really, really wanted to make one. but I had no idea what username to pick. At the time, I was working a mindless sort of job, so I had a ton of time to dwell on it. I decided to pick a name that reflected why I got back into the Sims - it was a reality away from reality. And so, reality-refuge!

Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them!

I have two!

@reality-refuge-finds for the cc I want to put in my game.

@reality-refuge-reblogs for the nonsim things that occasionally drift across my dash.

(I also have a separate personal blog, but you gotta be like level 50 friend to unlock that info lol)

How long have you been on tumblr?

...is 'too long' a valid answer?

If I had to guess, probably since 2012ish, so...nine years? NINE YEARS?!?

Like I said, way too long.

Do you have a queue tag?

Nope, and never have! The only time I ever queue stuff is for simblr, and I have different tags for that.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started playing my NSB just for fun, but around the 4th or 5th gen, I was telling myself stories that I wanted to preserve. So...simblr!

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Hah, my icon(s) is usually just a picrew of myself! I've been thinking of changing it up soon.

Why did you choose your header?

My header has always been a landscape shot of the world/neighborhood that the current heir is living in. So right now, that is Whiskerman's Wharf in Brindleton Bay!

What's your post with the most notes?

I believe it is this one with 50 notes (!!!)

Considering the most I get on a post is 4 or 5 notes on a good day, this felt like a huge deal to me.

How many mutuals do you have?

Uh technically I have 65, but there's a good chunk of those that haven't updated in a year or longer, so...who knows!

How many followers do you have?

128, and I'm grateful for each and every one! <3

How many people do you follow?

207!

Have you ever made a shitpost?

I've made shitpost-adjacent posts, I think, but I do tend to keep my weirdest thoughts (and many of my thoughts, really) to myself xD

How often do you use tumblr each day?

According to my screentime, about 1 hour each day! Most of that is in the morning when I get up (and also doesn't include desktop, but eh).

Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? What happened?

Nope! I've even stayed far from the sidelines with most simblr drama, it stresses me out too much.

How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

I feel like it cheapens the content of the post, if that makes sense. Whenever I see something like that, no matter how well-intentioned, it just feels like a plea to get more notes and actually keeps me from reblogging the post at all.

Do you like tag games?

I do! It might take me a minute to get to them (and asks too let's be real), I always enjoy sharing bits about myself and my story as well as seeing other people share!

Do you like ask games?

See above! lol

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I feel like tumblr famous and simblr famous are different leagues tbh.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope!

I tag @pink-chevalier, @plasmavamp, @prossims, @chaoticsimlish, and @cherryfangs (if you want! no pressure)

[painted-crow]

Secondary Toast Revolving Door, Part 1

I guess I should start with a little about me, since that’s easier than making you pick through previous asks for information and some of you guys are new here. This one’s going to be heavily personal, so you can skip it if you want.

I’m a double Bird. My Bird primary system is heavily Badger influenced, and I also use Lion to support it by telling me when I should investigate something more closely. If we can dip into primary territory for a moment, I guess you can say I understand the world through systems that model things around me. But not all of those systems are things I’ve consciously examined, or fully investigated.

My understanding of how historical people dressed is pretty limited, for example, because I haven’t studied it in depth to get all the information—but I consciously understand what I do know about it. You could say this system piece is tiny but clear; I could expand it if I chose to find out more.

My understanding of how someone I’m not close to thinks might have more data to work with, but I haven’t consciously processed it; that’s the kind of thing where my Lion primary model will tell me to look closer if that person starts acting weird. This system piece might be described as huge but fuzzy; I could clarify it if I sat down and thought about it. I probably have more of these than I realize, but Lion basically takes care of monitoring those. I don’t have to investigate everything.

But some of my systems are both large and fairly clear, because I’ve taken the time both to gather data on them and to examine it. My understanding of myself is… well, I won’t say it’s terribly clear, because I’m in my early twenties and I’m still constantly getting new information, plus someone keeps changing the environment and mucking with my data (that would be me). But I have to examine it, because my brain is like a notoriously buggy piece of software and I’m the poor schmuck saddled with tech support duties.

Basically, the reason I’m good at playing therapist with other people is that I’m constantly doing exactly that thing with myself. (This probably makes me a very annoying patient for actual therapists.)

About that buggy brain, then.

I have major depression. That was professionally diagnosed when I was a teenager and it’s probably genetic. I take medication for it, when I remember to. It especially flares up in the winter or when I’m under stress. I probably have some kind of anxiety disorder too.

I’m almost certainly autistic, which I’ve never brought up with a professional—the first person to figure it out was the system I’m now best friends with, because they’re autistic and they knew I was within two weeks of talking to me. It took me two years to catch up with them and figure it out myself.

In my defense, I thought executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, dissociation, and hyperempathy were like… secret menu items for depression, because those only really bug me during depressive episodes. My current theory is that they’re related to autistic burnout instead.

I mask a lot, subconsciously—it’s actually really hard to turn that off normally—and I just can’t do that as much when depressed. If I do, my tolerance for everything else goes way down and I’ll go into overwhelm and start having shutdowns and dissociating. I recover pretty quickly (hours, not days), but if you’ve never spent 15 minutes standing in a Walmart aisle trying to decide whether you want a jar of peanut butter, but you can’t make decisions because you can’t access your emotions and you don’t really feel like you’re “here” but you kind of just want to go home… well, be glad I guess.

Of course, I have other autistic traits that show up when I’m not under stress, but they’re seldom associated with autism because most people don’t know what autis are like when we’re actually happy. Like, hyperlexia? That’s not even an “official” word, the auti community just uses it because “official” literature hasn’t caught up. I taught myself to read at age three (according to my mom; she says I was reading news headlines and stuff, not just books I’d memorized) and wrote a 35k word novella when I was ten, with no external prompting. My audio processing used to be terrible, but I routinely tested at college age reading levels as a kid.

I also might have ADHD? If so, it’s also mostly just noticeable if I’m under stress, and then it’s hard to tell if that’s the issue or if it’s just autism/depression again.

You might be getting a clearer picture of how my secondary and its model end up burnt so often!

(Resisting a very strong urge to cut stuff from this post.)

In short, I was a Gifted Kid. I spent a lot of my teen years biting off more than I could chew, honestly. I felt that I should be able to do more, and I wanted to be taken seriously, but I had basically no idea how to take care of myself because my needs are different from everyone else’s. I’m still figuring those out.

I’m kind of like an orchid plant: incredibly picky about conditions, wants a different “soil” and watering schedule, gets stressed if stuff changes too quickly, but when everything is just right and it does bloom, it goes all out.

I’m not kidding when I say that I have odd needs. One of them is the need for creative work, which seems to be hardwired into me. When I say that art or writing keeps me sane, I often hear back “oh yeah! I’ve heard that can be very therapeutic,” which is an innocuous reply, but it’s always bugged me, and I think I’ve figured out why.

First, because that’s not the reason I make things… I just… have to. Second, I can’t “make up” not doing creative work with some other kind of therapy. Third and most importantly, I’d much rather think of “artist” as my ground state, and depression as a condition that happens when my needs aren’t being met, rather than thinking of depression as the default that I’m just using art to escape from. That seems to me a healthier way of thinking, and probably a more accurate one, but I’m probably the only one who can see that distinction.

If life gets in the way and I can’t make space for creative work, it will actively make my depression worse. I know this because, multiple times, I’ve been unable to pinpoint why I’m feeling shitty, and then I go back to my easel or my writing or (ukulele, cooking, even just taking care of houseplants) and realize I haven’t done anything creative in like a month and thaaaat’s the problem.

I crack open a bottle of gesso to prep some canvases and it smells like… well, I don’t think you can get high off gesso? But it’s not like when you’re out of it on painkillers or cold medicine or whatever. It’s incredibly grounding, like the world snaps back into focus but it’s also oddly euphoric. Or I write ten thousand words in a couple days and it just… I don’t know what that does. I’ve never run across a word for it.

The writer of Smile at Strangers (a really good memoir centered around women, anxiety, and karate) describes a similar feeling in relation to her martial arts practice.

It’s also a bit like when all the snow melts after winter and you step outside and there’s the smell of wet soil under sunlight and I’m not sure if this fully translates for people who don’t have seasonal depression. Sorry.

Dammit, I want to paint… I haven’t had space to set up for like eight months. I’ve been nose-deep in writing projects since last summer for a reason, but right now my friggin Ravenclaw secondary is off angsting about something because of Life Stress Bullshit, and I don’t have the focus to work on any of my writing projects. Apart from this one. But it’s not really what I want in terms of creative work.

*velociraptor screech*

Oh, yeah. I guess I could mention this is why my nickname is Paint. Not sure if that was obvious before. The header image (which is more visible in the app for some reason) is one of my paintings. It’s a tiny one and it’s not one of my favorites, but I had the photo on my phone and the colors work well enough for what I needed.

(restrains self from negging my own painting ability)

This is starting to get into spoiler territory for what burned Ravenclaw secondary looks like, huh? It’s peaced out for a couple weeks at this point. I’m trying to write about what made it take off, but my ability to think of words and form a coherent sentence kinda flew out the window when I approached it directly.

Let’s just say that around the start of the month, someone I was talking to online (if you’re reading this, it’s definitely not you) kindaaaa hit a nasty depression trigger of mine. Not their fault—it’s very specific to me, and I struggle to explain why I can’t really talk about it. Basically, I spent years studying programming and web design, and due to several different but related issues during that experience, it’s now a trigger for me. I very much want it not to be, but trying to train that out of myself has induced more than one panic attack and I’m stuck between giving up on it or figuring out a way to go back to it that doesn’t totally shut my brain down.

That paragraph took forever to write, by the way.

I think I have to end this here. I… am going to go take out the trash, and water my plants, and make my bed, and file some paperwork, and maybe I’ll even mix up some bread dough or do some laundry. Spoiler alert for what it looks like when my Hufflepuff model takes over, I guess.

Oh. And I should maybe probably eat something. I almost forgot about that... again.

[melien]

Check in tag

Thanks for tagging me @cherishsims!

Why did you choose your URL?

It's a combination of my nickname Mel and the word alien (I love aliens and space stuff). I think I just randomly came up with it like, five years ago, and I guess it means I did something right if I still like it.

Any side blogs?

@strange-mel where I post ts2 premades-related stuff (ts2 and ts4 gameplays with Curious bros), but it can be inactive for a long time, as I do queues there depending on my mood. I actually have some unposted screenshots that are over two years old that I still haven't queued, but I'll get there.

I also have a cc finds and sims inspo blog which I use once in a blue moon, and a few old ones that are inactive.

How long have you been on tumblr?

Since 2013.

Do you have a queue tag?

Is this a thing? I set up queues sometimes when I have multiple posts to share, but don't have a special tag for them.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I originally played ts2 only (simply due to my laptop not being able to run other games, although I do like ts2) and wanted to share my screenshots and stories with premade sims. Then I gradually moved to other games and started using my own sims ocs for storytelling, so it really helped me find myself.

Why did you choose your icon?

The bisexual Roxy was supposed to be a pride month icon - I wanted to pick a bi character to match my own identity. I guess it will stay for now until I decide to change it.

Why did you choose your header?

Same as with the icon, my header is currently a pride month Galevon photoshoot. Of course, I wasn't rushing to change it as soon as June is over (like some big companies do lol), but may do eventually if I find something that I like.

What’s your post with the most notes?

The recent post about my experience on simblr, which means a lot more to me than if it was a sims post. I never expected it will speak to so many people!

I also once got 1000+ notes on my personal blog for translating an episode of a show I used to like, which first aired in my country (but I don't really like it anymore because the plot is all over the place and it contains some harmful cliches which are my pet peeve)

How many mutuals do you have?

Hmm, I'm not sure, really. Around 100-150?

How many followers do you have?

1,885 - but honestly, I'm pretty sure it isn't very accurate as a lot of them are inactive or deactivated or spam blogs (I've been on the same blog for years now, so yeah), and tumblr often forgets to reset the counter. I had a similar situation on my side blog where it shows way more followers than I actually have, so I suppose the real number is this but divided by three or four.

How many people do you follow?

221 people.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

You mean, all of my old gameplay posts?

How often do you use tumblr each day?

I come on here a few times a day.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I'm a non-confrontational person that just wants to post my sims in peace, but there were instances that required me to grow a thicker skin and call people out on their BS.

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

Negatively. They're pressuring and guilt-tripping vulnerable people. There can be other ways to grab attention and spread awareness than "if you don't reblog this, you're an awful person" or "reblog or your mom will die"

Do you like tag games?

Yeah! I don't always do all of them, because of various factors (which boil down to forgetting about them lol), but they can be fun.

Do you like ask games?

Sure, especially the ones where I can ramble about storytelling.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I don't like this whole tumblr famous thing, I try to treat people equally regardless of how "famous" their blog is, because it really doesn't matter in the long run.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Maybe "simblr crushes" (I see this term going around casually, meaning you really like someone's posts), but of course, not actual crushes.

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

[blissfulnightrain]

KH OC Week Day 2 - Bonds of the Heart

(Header artwork by @crezzstar​)

I really wanted to create some artwork involving even more characters Amaya meets along her journey, but due to a time crunch I haven’t been able to T_T But I figured I could at least go over the three most important people to Amaya from the start (and share some commissions/some of my own artwork ads;fsdk)!

Amaya has a unique bond growing up with the other members of the Destiny Squad. Click below the cut to find out more about her relationship with her younger brother Sora and her best friends Riku and Kairi!

Sora

(Artwork by @wingbladeweaver1357​)

(Artwork by me ajsdfj;sd it’s a year old please don’t judge;;;;)

A little over a year apart, Amaya and Sora are a very close brother and sister pair. Amaya’s more reserved, overly-cautious nature can sometimes bring up a rift between these two, especially when Sora expresses much enthusiasm over building a raft, which Amaya stands staunchly against. Still, she ultimately wants the best for him and wants to keep him safe, so for his and their friends’ sake, she does help out with some of the prep work and planning. 

Their family is very tight-knit and includes their mother, a nurse and excellent cook, their father, a fisherman, and their rambunction little sister Haru, who could use a lesson or two on boundaries xD They have a healthy dynamic at home, which makes it all the more heartbreaking when the Islands eventually disappear....

Without getting two spoilery, after the Islands disappear, their family is never the same. Sora and Amaya spend the majority of KH1 desperately trying to find each other, though they find themselves separated once more by the end of it and weave in and out of each other’s journeys from there on out. They both go through major transformations throughout their journeys and remain close throughout, but some changes do take their toll...

(Artwork by me - As Sora and Amaya both get ready for bed, the sight of a certain mark on Sora’s chest catches her eye)

Kairi

(Artwork by @wistaria-92​)

(Artwork by @n3k0c0​)

As the girls of the squad, Kairi and Amaya have a fun bond of sisterhood. Amaya finds Kairi extremely easy to talk to, especially when stressed (which happens...quite often, to say the least). Though Kairi is younger and more carefree, Amaya always finds herself taking her advice into consideration when going through with things. The two also love watching crime shows and dramas, and going shopping together!

When the Islands disappear, it’s Kairi that Amaya worries the most about, her heart hurting at the thought of her best friend having to lose a home world again. While they are briefly reunited by the end of KH1, circumstances drive them apart once more. They spend quite a bit of time apart over the next year, with Kairi in Destiny Islands and Amaya in Hollow Bastion, but they don’t grow apart. In fact, Hollow Bastion serves as an avenue to uncover some previously unknown details about her friend’s past...

Riku

(Quick sketch from last year’s oc week from me!)

(Artwork by me)

Complicated is probably the best word to describe Riku and Amaya’s relationship. Despite Amaya being Sora’s sister, being the same age she’s actually known Riku the longest. One could describe them as best frenemies at the start of the story - Amaya finds Riku’s cocky attitude irritating, and Riku has very little patience for Amaya’s constant naggy attitude towards many of his endeavors (including the infamous raft). Still, the two do acknowledge and respect one another’s intelligence, often still choosing to work together on school projects and the like.

Things change drastically when the Islands are destroyed. They are separated at first, but when they finally reunite, Amaya witnesses his slow spiral down the slipper slope of darkness. Riku’s actions and Amaya’s attitudes toward them affects their relationship greatly, to the point where they are completely alienated from one another. It is after Riku disappears into the realm of darkness that both parties are able to reflect on their actions. The year leading up to KH2 is a turning point in their relationship, where they must work together and learn to understand each other to play their respective parts in keeping Sora safe. 

When they rekindle their friendship, it’s stronger than ever, and though they must focus on the tasks ahead of them, it eventually becomes impossible for them to ignore the fact that their relationship has become something more...

(Artwork by me)

asdklfs I am so so sorry for that behemoth of a post but if you read that whole thing here is a sticker *sticks on you*

@khoc-week​ has been wonderful so far! Thank you to everyone who has contributed so far <3 <3 <3

And as always, if you’re interested in reading Amaya’s fic, it is linked here:

FFN | AO3

[aftershocked]

tagged by the ever-lovely @tk-buckley, thank you so much! 😘💕

my response to #1 is a bit wordy, so placing this behind a read more

1. why did you choose your url?

the reason started out sort of lame but gained a lot of sentiment over time lmao

as a teenager, i was brainstorming new website URLs, and “aftershocked” happened to be one of them (and went unused). a few years later i was joining a forum to become a scanlator (specifically, proofreading & typesetting manga), and i wanted a new username, and went with aftershocked

scanlating wound up being one of the most enjoyable things i’ve ever done—made great friends, learned a lot, gained some useful and surprisingly versatile life and collaborative skills. everyone in the scanlating group mainly used our usernames, or nicknames based off of our usernames, and also one of my best friends in the group had a nickname that paralleled with mine—and idk, after a while, aftershocked/afs just became a name i rly identified with and felt close to

now i use it basically everywhere & have been using it for like 12 years, because in addition to my real life name, aftershocked... is my name, online. which probably sounds either crazy or cheesy, especially on tumblr where people change their URLs so often, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

no, actually, everything gets funneled into this one. would probably be easier on my followers if i did use sideblogs 😬

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

june 2011! very nearly ten years now skdjsks

4. do you have a queue tag?

yeah, “the queue continuum,” but it doesn’t get used often

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i think... a friend recommended tumblr to me or something? so i tried it out, and it seems to have stuck

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i mean, sort of arbitrarily, and at this point i’ve had it basically the entire 10 years so y’know. and i’ll always have a soft spot for kuroshitsuji anyway, so why not

7. why did you choose your header?

bc of a many, many, many, many year love for star trek, and the enterprise in particular. she’s a beautiful lady and we love her

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

a gifset of all the star trek intro titles

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i’ve never counted? no idea.

10. how many followers do you have?

900+

11. how many people do you follow?

🤫

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

absolutely

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it reeeally depends. sometimes i’ll be on here constantly, spamming incessantly, other times i’ll go days/weeks without reblogging anything. i’ve been pretty consistent the past few months, but i know eventually i’ll slow down again

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

i don’t think i’ve ever actually fought with anyone here, but i’ve certainly commented on things i disagreed with?

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

when people first started doing that and it was still rare enough to be a novelty, it seemed like a valid way to grab someone’s attention about a serious issue. but after they became so commonplace, it got a little obnoxious? you choose for yourself what you want to interact with, no rando on the internet should be able to guilt you into it, and i feel bad for people who are guilted into that. you should always be able to curate and control your own experience here

16. do you like tag games?

i do, and if i don’t reply to one it’s usually only because there isn’t really a way for me to do so (like when someone tagged me in a spotify game and i don’t… use spotify…)

17. do you like ask games?

probably, haven’t really done those very often

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

what even counts as tumblr famous?? like,, it’s not like there are really good metrics here

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i haven’t crushed on anyone in years

20. tags?

@discoreos, @anhline, @avalonsavs, @squish-diddles, @fangedcookie, @stanfordsweater, @zmediaoutlet, and if anyone else wants to try 💚

[chaysingthesun]

check-in tag :)

thank you so much @rosetvler for the tag! ❤

1. why did you choose your url? my main blog is @onwardintolight (taken from a poem called The Onward Course by Richard Chenevix Trench), and I wanted something recognizably similar for my side blog. Also I’ve only been a kpop fan for about a year so the name fit. I may change it in the future, though; overall I feel kind of meh about it

2. any side blogs? this one! Also @rebelhopecosplay because I cosplay as Princess Leia from Star Wars. I haven’t updated it in awhile though; the pandemic has completely depleted my motivation since I haven’t been able to do any events much less the charity events that mean the most to me. I’ve posted a lot more consistently on my Instagram (same username) but it’s still been spotty lately. I’m working on another costume though and things are definitely looking up here so hopefully my spark will be back soon

3. how long have you been on tumblr? 2011 👀 I’ve seen some things

4. do you have a queue tag? no, but I do use my queue when I feel like going on a posting spree haha! I guess I never really understood why people tag that? But if anyone wants me to tag it let me know! 

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? it’s my sister @ninquelote-and-culurien‘s fault. She pulled me into her kpop obsession and I don’t think I’ll ever escape! As for my main blog, I started because I’m constantly in need of a creative/expressive outlet and having a place where I could just post pretty pictures and write random things without the obligation of doing a long blog post every time appealed to me

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? Kai is my ult and I’m so excited for DFTF 😭

7. why did you choose your header? to go with the icon

8. what’s your post with the most notes? I’m not really a content creator on this side blog, but on my main blog this one has gotten a bit out of hand

9. how many mutuals do you have? a handful on this blog and I’m so grateful for every one of you!

10. how many followers do you have? not many, this is a baby blog

11. how many people do you follow? 857 (but that’s everything from my main blog since I can’t follow from a side blog)

12. have you ever made a shitpost? maybe? If I have I’ve forgotten

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? I usually scroll through a bit to help me wake up, then periodically throughout the day if I have a moment and it sounds nice

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Not really but I was once kind of... adjacent to one? Over on my main blog I’m a fanfic writer and the fic community I was in had a massive fight for stupid reasons (they most often are). It was not pretty and some of my friends got hurt and long story short it’s probably the reason I’m not really as involved in that fandom anymore. I mostly stayed out of it but I dipped my toe in a few times in a (probably vain) attempt to defend both my friends and common sense

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? I hate them with a burning passion. I never reblog them, even if I 100% agree with the rest of the post and would have reblogged it otherwise. For one, I refuse to let them have that sort of power over me. Second, and most importantly, I’m a firm believer (thanks in part to lots and lots of therapy, yay) that a shame-based approach to anything, including persuasion, is never a good or even particularly effective approach, at least in the long run. If you want to bully someone into falling in line out of fear and shame, then sure, those posts do the trick. But if you want to actually change someone’s heart and make the world a better place, don’t spread vile guilt trips. Speaking with grace and compassion is 1000x better

16. do you like tag games? yes! Even when I’m not able to get to it (though I usually get to it eventually) I love being tagged ❤

17. do you like ask games? yes! As I’m sure you can see, I love to write and will answer probably too much and in more detail than anyone ever actually wanted

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? agree with @rosetvler — like all of them? I’m frankly in awe that any of you followed me back tbh

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? gonna copy @rosetvler again here: yes, in a "wow you are all so awesome" kinda way 🥰

20. tags? if you see this, you’re tagged! Also tagging my mutuals @thedeviousdo @royal-aeris @pajamas-lipstick @jamesscarstairs @ninquelote-and-culurien @authortist ❤

[donaidk]

I was tagged by @formulola 🧡 Thank you so much 🤗🥰

1. Why did you choose your url?

It's my online nickname and initials. Just Dona was either used or I felt like it would be too short. And also the 'idk' part is fitting as I never really know what the hell is going on 😂

2. Any side blogs?

Luckily not. I neither would have the time to keep two or more blogs working, neither any idea what I should have a side blog on. Feel like this main one is enough 😌

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I cratd it around 2019, but I only started using it in December 2020. On December 15th exactly.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

It's usually just 'donaidk queue', but the only time I use it is when I have to take a few days off and like have time to prepare posts there.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I was having quite a bad time during November-December. I wanted to be part of something bigger and luckily found this place just in the perfect time. I literally don't know where I would be if I haven't found f1blr 🧡

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Sadly I keep changing them, because there are just too many fantastic pics 😭 I really liked my Nyck piano one and the Jack cat one. The one I have now with purplish Dan was just perfect for my blog theme, and I also like looking at it. Always reminds me to be more positive about life. Dan has that effect on me. (Jack and Nyck was the same and they also fit my theme back then)

7. Why did you choose your header?

That Mahindra video was just my complete demise 💀 I love Alex, Karen and purple so perfect combination. And you can not tell me it's not hot *bi screaming* Sorry, they're taking over my life still 😂 I had never felt so much happiness from creating gifs before than how I felt during making these.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Actually... Most of my 'bigger' posts are all rage posts... That says a lot about me 😂 But the one with the most notes is this one and I have to laugh every time someone founds it. My crackhead brain was pretty angry at their irl situations 🤦‍♀️

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Around 10? I don't know exactly. I'm the usual scared one who just doesn't wanna upset anyone and rather stays in her tiny bubble 💀

10. How many followers do you have?

288. I literally can't believe that under half a year ago this blog was nothing and so many of you already decided to stay 😭

11. How many people do you follow?

Only 29 as I get very overwhelmed if there are too many notifications. But I keep up with lots more when I have time, just by searching them up and goin through their latest posts 🤗

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Given my shit posts somehow always reach more people... I don't even have the heart to delete them later 😶

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

TOOO MUCH! But sadly I love it. It's part of my daily routine 😂

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Don't really think so. I don't like online arguments, because you can never really tell what the other people actually meant by saying things.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I stand beside them. I try my best also, but sometimes even I fail it when there are posts I love, but they're just not about people that I follow or like 😔 But I try my best at reblogging it for the art and not the irl people behind it 😊

16. Do you like tag games?

I really do love them! I may forget about one or two but my heart always jumps a little when others think about me and tag me 🥺

17. Do you like ask games?

Of course! Just as much as tag games. They're all really fun.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Most of them, and I literally don't know how they became my mutual 😭

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Romantic one not really. But I have one huge friend one if that counts 😂

20. Tags!

If you don't feel like it or already did it just please ignore my tag 🧡 @x-lipstickstain-x @georgeinamerc @tittipaldi @holymacncheeseballs @landonorrisgeorgerussell

[mjmnorwood]

[I.D. A header image of two pencils on a yellow background, with title reading ‘Redrafting’. End I.D.]

I think redrafting can sometimes be a bit of an elusive topic. I see loads of posts with advice for finishing the first draft (which is fantastic!) but advice for what comes after you’ve finished that mammoth task is less common. Here I’ll be outlining my redrafting process, and you can pick and grab whatever bits are useful for you!

1. Let the manuscript rest.

I love to fixate on my projects (what can I say? It’s a serotonin mine!). This focus is great for finishing stuff, but it can get in the way of redrafting, because you get too close to your work to be able to spot things that need changing. When you finish a manuscript, put it aside for however long it takes for you to be able to look at it with fresh eyes. I find this is usually a month or more for novels. This is a great time to work on other projects!

2. Re-read the manuscript, then outline (or re-outline).

When it comes to re-reading your manuscript, try to look at it with a critical eye (note: this doesn’t mean you have to be negative about it! Just have your editor hat on). Don’t make edits as you read, instead, jot down anything you think needs changing. At this stage, it’s going to be big picture stuff, structure, characterisation, plotting, novel pacing etc. Small details like phrasing come much later.

After this, take your list of changes and think about how they’re going to alter your book, then make an outline based on this new structure. I think this step is incredibly helpful regardless of whether you plotted or pantsed your first draft (I’ve done both). It makes the next stage so much easier.

3. Take your outline, and write the book again.

This is a lot of work, and believe me, if I thought I could get away without it, I would, but I haven’t found anything else that improves my books as much as a rewrite. If you start over from scratch, you’re less tied to what you wrote in your first draft, so it’s much easier to make the big changes that you need to make. This doesn’t mean you have to throw your first draft out, though! You worked hard on that, there’ll be a lot of good stuff there. I like to keep it open in another window while I write the second draft, so I can copy and paste scenes I want to put in the new version (with a bit of an edit).

4. Third draft time!

After letting the manuscript rest again, come back for some editing. Don’t worry, it’s not another rewrite (unless you want to do that again...). This is where more ‘medium-picture’ changes come in, things like deleting unnecessary parts, editing the pacing of scenes, making sure character details are consistent and the like. This isn’t an exact science, you can do small-picture edits to get your prose how you want it (I’d probs advise not to go hog wild on these though, since there’ll be more changes later), or you can do more big edits (I ended up deleting a whole subplot when I was doing the third draft of my most recent book). Basically, the idea of this draft is to make it the best you can make it with only your perspective to go on.

5. Let other people to take a look.

This is where I bring in beta-readers. It’s the scariest part, in my opinion, but so worth it. Other people will spot things about your book you’d never in a million years be able to spot yourself. I like to give my books to about 3-5 people, get their feedback, then make changes based on whatever they’ve said that I think is useful.

6. Rinse and repeat.

Keep getting feedback and making changes until you’re happy with your book! This can be from beta-readers and critique partners, also sensitivity-readers and editors if you can afford those services. The idea is that with each round of revision, your manuscript should become more refined, and the changes gradually get more and more small-scale (though sometimes a reader will throw a curveball that makes you realise more big edits are needed). This is a long process, and it can be a bit of a slog, but you can work on other projects at the same time, and actually, I think the editing process itself can be fun! It's the satisfaction of polishing a rough-cut gem.

And that’s it! I hope you find these steps helpful in developing your own revision processes. Happy editing!

Like this post? Follow for more writerly content! It’ll be lovely to have you along :D