#also I find this way to fucking hilarious

[asteria7fics]

Do you have any silly headcanons about the main 5?

Sure! I can list off a few!

Kyle:

Is mildly allergic to grass. Not bad enough to have a big reaction, but he gets a little congested in the summer when someone has just mowed their lawn, and his skin gets more irritated than most if he sits in grass for too long.

Spends way too much time on Reddit white knighting and explaining in excruciating, condescending detail why, in fact, OP is in the wrong. You will see 69ingchipmunks as an active participant on r/AmITheAsshole and r/AmITheDevil.

Has absolutely punched a hole in a wall at some point in his life. It’s a rite of passage that every Kyle must go through, I don’t make the rules.

Stan:

Is one of those kids that just fucking hates bathing, for a long time. He never gets so bad that he totally reeks, but he’s always a little bit greasy.

Gets annoyed when people point out or make fun of his ‘butt chin’.

For sure keeps his socks on during sex. They’re those white, tube socks with the black line at the top, by the way. And every pair has at least one hole somewhere on them.

Kenny:

Still listens to music on a shitty iPod nano that one of the other boys gave to him after they got their first smartphones, even after he has his own (busted) smartphone, too.

Wears his Mysterion suit under his regular clothes regularly and for YEARS. You know, just in case.

Gets really wasted at a party in college and wakes up with a piercing in his dick. (This actually happened to a guy I knew yes it’s as funny as it sounds).

Cartman:

I’ve mentioned this before, but as a kid he definitely smells like cheese. Like, processed fake cheese. Cheez-Wiz cheese.

Also spends too much time on Reddit, but he’s on there making a million throw away accounts to post outlandish shit just to get a reaction. He finds it incredibly hilarious when Kyle comments on his shit posts. (Sometimes he is asking for genuine advice/validation, but he’d never admit that).

Clyde Frog stays on the bed during sex.

Butters:

Definitely wets the bed well into middle school. His bed stays strapped with the waterproof lining.

Fucking LOVES VeggiTales. Watched it all the time when he was little and will still put it on when he’s older as a nostalgic comfort show.

Gets really wasted, entirely on accident, at the same party as Kenny and wakes up with a single nipple piercing. Kenny’s the one who pierced him. He never takes it out.

[foodtruckery]

ive returned because your writing haunts me and i need to dig into your brain about combat baby idk how deeply youve thought about like. the whole extent of this au so if im asking about stuff that you dont want to focus on for it forgive me but im so curious how do things go down with bill?? like hes still an issue here do they just try the unicorn hair and stan scams his way through (and ford is so shocked and lowkey turned on impressed they bang after) or with everything else happening does ford (stupid genius he is) just sort of forget bill can still enter stan's dreams even if hes got the metal plate and stans like "hey why am i dreaming about a dorito obsessed with your portal"

and im guessing ford would not be down to make his home a tourist trap so do you think stan would just help with the research? or would his insecurities about being dead weight to ford push him to try and find his own way of income?

and and what about the town?? do they have to awkwardly pretend theyre father and son or uncle and nephew or something? because sure they could pretend theyre not related but they still look pretty similar. ford just looks like an older, nerdier stan so i think that would be people's first assumption (ford seething quietly as susan flirts with stan. stan just thinks fords feeling uncomfortable in town because hes a hermit until theyre alone and they have a repeat of their highschool days with ford hissing in his ear and demanding to know what he was expecting to happen with susan. stan trying to answer but hes a little distracted at the time)

and also with ford being back would they ever run into fiddleford again? either him in his cult days or maybe already halfway to losing his mind. depending on where he is mentally im sure the interaction could be either pretty hostile or sympathetic

ive grabbed you by the ankles and am attempting to shake you upside down to try and empty your pockets for scraps of this au because it consumes me

-🐶

waaaaaah thanks for being patient with me friend! you know i ALWAYS love to see you with the big fuckin questions and ideas. and i have been THINKING about this one cause, tbh, i finished combat baby in a couple of days and went “GET OUT OF MY SIGHT” and threw it at y’all and did not think much about it after that! until i came over here and started chatting with y’all at least hahaha.

the bill issue is like a whole thing right? and i was definitely wondering how the time travel on one side but not the other might impact him/slow him down. but i also do think it’d be kind of fucking hilarious if stan starts dreaming about bill but like. doesn’t say anything and doesn’t even think it’s a big deal because. you know. they’re just weird dreams. and at this point, stan’s done enough drugs and been through the ringer with stress and shit that it doesn’t even occur to him to question having bizarre dreams about some little geometric freak trying to be nice to him. whaaat? a MATH SHAPE for fucking NERDS in a gay little sweater vest BOW TIE is COMPLIMENTING him in his dreams???

as far as stan’s concerned, his subconscious got REALLY hung up on the whole “ford said some nice shit to me while we were fucking” and just hasn’t let that go yet. which i think would also drive bill up the fucking wall. like stan would have been the harder nut to crack regardless, but to keep getting accused of being stan’s mental manifestation of his brother fucking praise kink???? (which of course invites the whole question of bill going fuck it, and just leaning into that, but i don’t think he’d be as adept that mimicking ford for stan as he was at mimicking stan for ford, so)

ngl, i do love the unicorn hair play, tho. fun fact! i have no idea if i’ll actually write it or not, but i’ve toyed with the idea of doing a role reversal with ford coming back out of the portal still in this 30’s and finding stan and everything else having moved forward 30 years. and the unicorn hair felt like a good way to potentially address the Bill Issue i was getting stopped up on there! but like. i also could absolutely see older!ford convincing stan to wear a collar necklace of unicorn hair to keep bill out of his head.

but i loooooove the idea of them getting mixed up with fiddleford’s cult shit. i don’t even know wtf i’d DO with that but conceptually i love it. cause they’re starting to keep an eye on the townspeople, right? and even if stan’s come up with some kinda story to explain there being kinda sorta two of them now, he wouldn’t know not to be outspoken about the other weird shit happening in town. y’know, on top of being some of the weird shit happening in town. something something, stan getting snatched like lazy susan did over the gnome incident, but ayyye that shit hits really fucking wrong when you’ve actually been kidnapped in the past already and had to chew your way out of a fucking car to get free. i think that’s be neat!!

and especially if we consider fidds being maybe already just shade too far gone, enough that running into stan or having him dragged into the cult would confuse the fuck out of him. because that’s stanford, right? it has to be, he’s coming in and out of stanford’s house, he looks like stanford with a few questionable fashion and hygiene choices — but then again, stanford hadn’t been in great shape the last time he’d shown his face outside of the cabin, either. but his hands are wrong. his hands are wrong and he can’t be stanford but then why does he look like him? easy solution: everybody gets their memory wiped.

something something, stan may not know where the fuck he is, but he knows coming to in a room full of shady guys he doesn’t recognize is either gonna end with him losing teeth or a little bit of dignity, and he’d like to hold on to his teeth a little longer.

[destinationtrekk]

Stupid thought while giving myself man-juices.

So <Reader> is sitting in their room some morning, prepping for their Hormon injection, when Wesker bursts in for whatever reason (Hears the shuffling around and is curious, late for something, whatever whatever-).

First thought is embarrassed from both because depending on where or how <Reader> receives their hormones, they are probably pantless or shirtless.

Next, <Reader> (depends on if they are out at that point or not. Knowing myself personally, Wesker wouldn't know because I forget to actually tell people until someone either outs me or I out myself accidently in conversation lmfao-) feels slight panic, but just awkwardly laughs with an "I can explain" look.

Meanwhile, Wesker is confused and slightly pissed, mistaking the hormones as an Oroboros injection, *his* Oroboros injections. He blows up at <Reader>, swiping the filled syringe from their hand, mostly horrified for their safety due to how picky the Oroboros is. He doesn't want to lose them. <Reader>, on the other hand, doesn't understand the big deal and starts assuming the worst on Wesker's views until slowly piecing together what Wesker's enraged babbling is actually about.

After a sigh of relief upon figuring out why Wesker is upset, <Reader> grabs their prescription vial and shows it to Wesker and carefully explains everything, maybe even showing him the process because, well, <Reader> still needs their injection at some point today.

Would Wesker be okay with it if he didn't know prior? Idfk, man. This is a man in his 40~50s during the late 2000s early 2010s, his opinion could be anywhere :,D

i mean, realistically i think wesker would not gaf. he experiments on people and wants to eradicate half the human race because he thinks his tentacle monster will save the world.

I DO however find it hilarious that he immediately goes to "oh fuck i left out my tentacle syringes and now my friend is going to DIE oh FUCK" and gets mad at you. he knows how dangerous uroboros is and just... is so scared to lose you.

he definitely takes it upon himself to become your pseudo-doctor. he understands hormone injections because he's... well he's a scientific genius. I think he also takes over giving you your shots because the mistaking it for uroboros thing really scared him, like... scared him. and doing it for you is a subconscious way to ensure his creation isn't what kills his favorite person.

[eyebulb]

Kay, I'm not done w. The whole Stolas thing.. Cus talking to antis piss me off.

Do you not realize that Stolas and Blitz have very similar issues?? That just present itself in different ways (although not entirely)

Both of them have history w. Abuse. Verbal and physical. Blitz has abandonment issues, Stolas has been isolated his entire life. They're both afraid of loneliness and not being enough.

Now.. What about some of their bad habits, hmm? Things people looove to critique.

First up: delusion and deflection

Stolas lives in a fantasy world to escape life. He makes things up in his head and therefor ends up acting to a false reality. He's scared at looking too deeply into things that aren't that great so tries to play it off w. Changing the subject, fleeing, flirting etcetc.

Blitz doesn't live in a fantasy world.. But he's an expert at deflecting. Through humor, anger or just simply ignoring things he doesn't want to hear. Blitz is also afraid of looking too close, but this also include good things lest he fucks it up. This guy is more in the "expect the worst" kinda camp. Cus he does have a version of reality that isn't quite true too. Due to all of his self-hatred among other experiences.

Boundaries..what's that?

Lots of people like to criticise Stolas on this one. His delusion leads to him flirting aggressively and uncomfortably w. Blitz and not seeing when Blitz isn't into it. He also takes Octavia to a place she didn't wanna go despite her saying so, he also talks a little too freely to Blitz in front of her.. (demeaning speech is also included in his uncomfortable flirting)

Blitz.. Is notorious for boundary breaking. He stalks M&M constantly despite them telling him no repeatedly. He also stands in the way of Loona as a protective father which makes her lash out cus she's an adult. (totally get him but still crossing a boundary). He pry into their sex life and does a little bit of inappropriate touching on Moxxie (in a joking manner ofc.. I thought it was hilarious.. But still a boundary). He stalks his sister despite everyone telling him not to. He makes fun of and comes back to scream at a broken hearted Stolas who thought it was over and done after the full moon. (if you wanna try to keep the bird don't make fun of his feelings and break into his home my dude). Not to mention breaking and entering to steal a very valuable book in the first place.

They both have their own reasons for doing this but still.. They're both doing this.

Blames themselves.

Both Stolas and Blitz are very much in the "I'm a piece of shit" camp. As in.. They think very lowly of themselves.

Stolas sings about missing signals, not being enough, being a monster, doing the wrong thing, on several different occasions. He is anxious and insecure in social situations and he tries to hide when he doesn't feel welcome. He has stood up for himself twice but it's rare.

Blitz is self-hatred galore! Which makes him push people away before they can get too close to him lest they see the real him and oh how much worse it would hurt to be rejected then. He made one big mistake that everyone ended up blaming him for and he leans into the role of shitty as much as he can. So he acts out if threatened by treating people around him badly and hurting himself in the process.

They are both their own worst enemy.

Both have fear of loneliness.. However this is a little different.

Stolas has always been lonely... He holds hope of genuine connections and tries desperately to hold on if he finds someone. He is hopefull and falls hard but he doesn't want to force people to stay if they don't want to.

Blitz hasn't always been alone but has been lonely for a longass time. He fears being abandoned since he was pushed away as a child and lost everyone he cared about in one big accident. Blitz also craves genuine connection and hopes for it but is scared of it cus he's lost it before. He wants to get close but not too close.. Except he does want to be too close too. Actually he's quite clingy. But being clingy is scary sooo let's keep our distance.

They both are kinda clingy honestly. Both want to love and be loved. Both are family people. Both are desperate and keep making dumb choices because of it.

There are definitely things that are very different too. Which is a reason to why they don't understand each other yet. But they're starting to.

And I've probably missed things but these are a few similarities in the way they act that makes me wonder why they aren't judged equally..

[ravetamer]

thank you op for indirectly inviting me in the tags to rant about horror movies and analyse characters from my favourite autism game MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!

starting off difficult with jesse. they would probably be turned away from extreme splatter but i can imagine they’d enjoy getting shocked by the occasional gore. it’d probably need some level of depth to it too so they can make excuses and say they watch it for the plot and not the visuals. i don’t think they’d be the type to go out of their way and pick up a horror movie so i’m gonna go with the mist or mulholland drive or sinister because they’re relatively well-known and jesse likes feeling things in the media they watch. cus BOY do those films gutpunch the viewer.

i know axel would love psycho goreman. it’s chaotic, hilarious, bloody, and it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. it’s a great romp but absolutely fucking insane. either that or some other ridiculously over the top thing like thankskilling or terrifier. crazy shit filled with ludicrous amounts of guts. he’s in it for the fun! sometimes he even watches hilariously shitty horror movies for entertainment's sake, like jaws 3d and jason takes manhattan.

olivia would love dystopian themes and cosmic horror hands-down. visuals that absolutely blow your mind and amaze you. the plot can’t be too weak however because she LOVES getting invested in well-written/likeable characters and rooting for them, cheering when they win and freaking out when they die. she also likes sci-fi, particularly complex machinery (as an engineer) and finds great joy in picking apart the devices in poorly-made sci-fi films to defend the genre’s honour. she would love 28 days later, the thing, and ex machina because you KNOW she needs dramatic flair in her movies

petra would probably like high-intensity films that have a ruthless protagonist and lots of blood in their action scenes. i also think she’d be put off by heavy fantasy themes. because of her nature she could also be a huge sucker for revenge films where the protagonist bites back at the people who wronged them. when she watches horror, she mainly watches for the violence and loves well-choreographed fights. still, the movies should be intelligent, not having bad writing that's just 'kill kill kill' so i’m gonna say mandy, lady snowblood, and i saw the devil because they’re all intense and have a protagonist who KICKS ASS

lukas wouldn’t watch horror movies (he’s more of an epic saga/documentary guy) but he might be willing to watch old ones such as jurassic park (which isn’t really horror) and gremlins and the exorcist (and secretly enjoy them on the odd occasion). nothing to genuinely scream about, just some fun to pass the time and appreciate the effects cus that man ADORES the art of cinema. if you took him to terrifier he’d never touch horror again. i can imagine axel forcing him to watch it with the gang lmao

Olivia: Favorite horror movie?

Jesse: It.

Axel: Saw.

Petra: Annabelle.

Lukas: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my school years terrified that the everyone would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics.

[boilingcowboy]

"If Annabeth´s mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavoured sack and throw him to the wolves.)"

At this point Percy not being separated from Annabeth is a safety percussion, 14 and basically ready to commit crimes because his weird friend crush is missing

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Drawing Woody Pride and Buzz Lightyear entirely from memory after not having watched the movies in over 6 years :D

No reference, no rewatching. I was RAWDOGGING this shit, man ‼️💥💥⁉️💥

Meme references under cut

[tapeworrmart]

Angry and scruffy

[thegreatyin]

in record-breaking levels of bad life decisions (even for them), the scoundrel may have found someone that's an even worse influence than mr wines

[maxthesillyy]

resisting to makes posts that r just.

look at this freak…………….

[blazingblorbos]

LayMiko is so funny to me because this absolutely revered and powerful priestess from a nation that only just recently opened its borders hops on a boat to a neighboring nation (which is still far away asf, mind you) supposedly because one of her writers (she owns a publishing house btw) needed inspiration. And immediately captures the attention of a random ass astrology scholar - and vice versa - as her first instinct is to announce that the scholar in question has “piqued her interest”.

And as a result, said scholar is left stunlocked, LITERALLY SAYING “Wow. I don’t know how to respond to that . She’s very cool, I hope I can be her friend” [Vine Boom.wav with Homophobic Dog png here] after not even speaking more than 4 sentences with each other.

[drbtinglecannon]

The plot of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is actually better than original plot, by a large margin

[bittersweetresilience]

it feels cosmically unfair that i think about writing all the time want to write all the time and sit down to write all the time and i come up with two sentences at best. there should be some reward system i think

[beansterpie]

rewatching LoK, i'm being reminded how much I dislike the.... the brothers, mako and bolin, yanno? they're such underwhelming characters on basically every level. it'd almost be impressive if they weren't in every episode and didn't annoy me so much ugh

[honeyconez]

guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.

[bumblingbabooshka]

"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']