#also I can start wearing my binder again
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anyways. how we doing gang < talking to no one
#i. want to explode violently#god i told myself this semester id do better but it already feels like im falling behind#fuck me dude#also lowkey forgot how nice wearing my binder feels#like it's like a real tight hug#and i get boobless !!!!#can't wait to#Hurt#in the morning#ill b fine tho i dont have gym anymore itll be all good#< also means i can start dressing cool again#< he didn't wanna get dressed for gym so he just wore like sweatpants or leggings every day#< like a loser#lol#wait what was this post about#oh yeah#fuck algebra btw#damnit dude maths supposed to be ur thang#if you can't even do that you might as well just kys#cmon#oh related kinda ive decided im going into nuclear physisc probably#whicch my mom seems a good bit happier about than me going into education lmao#sighs wistfully#but yeah i mean its interesting enough#plus something something my potential something something the only thing im good at is math#and even that. im getting worse and worse at caring about#cmon alex schools supposed to be your one strength if you stop turningshit in you really have nothing#lmao anyways enough of the emo asss talking to myself#bye
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before mr & mrs... | Hwang In-ho x Reader
word count: 4.1k a/n: so tell me whatcha all think of their backstory pls pairing: hwang in-ho x fem!reader !! not proof-read properly !!
Masterlist | more of this couple
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“Have you seen player 132?” il-nam asked you, he sat in his armchair, watching players drop to their deaths.
You didn’t look up from your binder you had filled of game ideas. “No, i haven't; i’ve not paid much attention to any of them really.” You said honestly, walking over to il-nam and handed him your latest sketch of a game concept.
“He has potential, he didn’t hesitate to kill his teammate; it’s like someone i know all over again” He chuckled as you gave him a unimpressed look. “I was left with the bitch of my team, of course i was going to take the chance to take her head.” You sighed, sitting down beside il-nam in your own chair.
“We could use him.” il-nam pointed to the man on the screen, you looked up and studied the man on screen. He was very handsome, he was also very set on winning these games for his wife.
You bit your lip as he laughed along with other players, you turned back to il-nam. “Tomorrow i’ll start preparing the room for the VIPs..” You informed the host before excusing yourself to the office of files. Once the door was shut you went through files for the news players to find more out about player 132.
You had brought the files with you to your bedroom and read up on the player as you settled in for bed. It had been disappointing when you saw he had entered the games for is wife and unborn child; to pay for her liver transplant. You had turned to your walkie talkie on your nightstand and switched to another channel.
“Get me as much info as you can on player 132’s wife.” You spoke into the walkie talkie and immediately got a confirmation by the recruiter; a close friend of yours, who you had grown close while you both worked for il-nam as workers.
“Right away, game planner..”
- - - - - - - -
Days later, you watched from the control room as another game was played as you planned it, you watched with a big grin.
“Chipper as always..” The recruiter chuckled as he walked into the vip room with a file in hand. “Always a pleasure seeing you, now hand it over!” You smirked at your friend and held your hand out which he took with his free hand and kissed the back, making you chuckle at his flirty advances.
“Now, I believe you requested these.” He handed you the files, a squeal left your mouth as you opened the file up and began reading over the report. Your eyes quickly ran over the page as you finally landed on the words you had secretly hoped would be there. “I have to show il-nam!” You closed the file and kissed the recruiter on his cheek before patting the other side. “I love you!” You squealed as you exited the control room and walked to il-nam’s penthouse.
You scanned your badge you had clipped to your shirt and was granted access. You knocked on the old man’s room door. “Come in.” He sighed out, fidgeting with his tie. “I have news about your possible winner!” You handed over the folder, he took it and read over the report and sighed before walking over to his tv and shuffled through the cameras to show the players eating their breakfast.
“He’ll be even more convinced to join you if his whole reason for winning this game is dead.” You pointed out, sitting on the arm of the chair.
il-nam nodded and grinned at you. “Good job, finding this.”
You bowed your head in thanks. You looked down at your watch and checked the time. “VIPs should be landing here in the next hour, sir.” you informed, getting up from the arm and walked to a cabinet he had in his penthouse, you unlocked the cabinet and pulled out his gold bedazzled owl mask, he would wear in front of the VIPs.
“I assume you haven’t seen your gift?” il-nam asked, a small smile on his face. You tilted your head confused. “You got me a gift?” You questioned, the old man nodded at you. “Your gift is on your bed.”
With that you left off to your level that was your space, you quickly walked into your room and squealed as a white 3D matte mask laid on your bed. You picked it up and smiled at it.
“For my brilliant gameplanner.” - Host
You noticed the coat that laid on the back of your vanity chair. You looked around your bedroom for your outfit for the VIPs.
- - - - - - - -
You sighed as you pulled off your gloves as you walked to the elevators, you scanned your badge and pressed your floor.
It was another year of sadistic games you had planned out. You quickly placed your things away. As you hung up your clothes you heard the faint call from your walkie talkie you had left on your kitchen table. You sighed and walked to the kitchen and picked up.
“Gameplanner, the host is requesting you to his penthouse.” A manager called out, you answered briefly, grabbing your white mask and game binder, before walking to the elevators. You pressed il-nam’s floor which was the highest on the panel. You sighed, as the elevator stopped, the doors opened to show the recruiter; he smiled at you as he entered.
“Gameplanner.” He greeted, taking your hand and bring it to his lips. “Recruiter!” You smiled back. “il-nam called you up too?” He asked, pressing il-nam’s floor. “Yep, probably wants to discuss players and games..” You guessed.
As elevators opened to show il-nam’s house. You both walked into the penthouse and walked to his living room where he sat, someone with him, their back to you both.
“You called?” You asked, the old man smiled as he motioned for the other person. “This is our newest member.” The stranger stood up and faced you both. You and the recruiter recognized the man in front of you. “Ah, player 132! I’m glad you’ve taken il-nam’s offer.” The recruiter smiled at the man, holding out his hand.
The ex-player shook his hand. “The salesman, wouldn’t have made it here if you didn't give me that card.” He charmingly smiled.
il-nam chuckled at the two before turning towards you, “In-ho, this is our game planner, she’s also a former winner of the games; player 033.” In-ho raised an eyebrow as you held a blank face and stuck out your hand and firmly shook his. “Nice to meet you.” You greeted, taking you hand back and held closely to your binder.
“What will be his job exactly?” The recruiter questioned, you both looked as il-nam smiled at you three. “In-ho will help out with the staff, more specifically the soldiers, you see he’s a former cop!” il-nam explained, making you and the recruiter raise your brows at the job.
“Oh, il-nam i have the layout of games this year!” You perked up and opened your binder, in-ho watched as you flipped to a page and laid it down on the table for all to see.
In-ho read over the pages, he watched as you smiled at il-nam’s praises. You had been the sadist, who created the monstrous games, many players had threaten to kill you if they had gotten out of the game. “Impressive work.” In-ho complimented.
“Thank you!” You nodded before turning to il-nam. “I need to go unpack my things but just have the workers return it to me.” You smiled at the old man before excusing yourself back to your floor.
- - - - - - - -
It had been weird for another person to be in the control room with you. You had placed in-ho on cameras while you watched the players in their dorm, teams had begin to form liked you hoped. “How long have you worked for the host?” In-ho questioned as you both watched players bond.
“Three years ago, I was offered after I had won, didn’t even get to play the final game, killed the girl in the dorm after she tried to suffocate me in my sleep.” you explained, tapping on the board in font of you. Several camera footage popped up on the screens.
“You know, a lot of players curse you out for creating such terror.” His words made you chuckle. “I’ve heard, you get used to it after one game.” You smiled at him for the first time. In-ho stared at you, a small smile on his face. You quickly dropped the smile and cleared your throat.
“I need to go figure out the lighting for one of the games, excuse me..” You brushed past in-ho and walked out of the control room.
- - - - - - - -
In-ho watched carefully as you and il-nam watched players fight for their lives, you had a content smile while the concept worked perfectly; your walkie talkie crackled on the kitchen table, you popped up and walked over with a smile as a deep voice went through.
“Wonderful work as always gameplanner.” The recruiter compliment, making you chuckle before walking to the hall to continue talking without disrupting the game.
In-ho turned to il-nam who watch the games with glee. “Are they together?” He asked, making il-nam turned to him confused.
“The recruiter and the planner, i mean.” In-ho clarified, il-nam glanced back at you and noticed how happy you were and shrugged.
“They’ve been close since they both started working for me, who’s to know…they might even be married?” Il-nam guessed, thinking back to how you both always threw flirty glances and even affection every time you had been around each other.
In-ho nodded and sat back in his chair, his mind drifting off into what your relationship could be with the recruiter.
A few minutes had passed and you walked back to your chair, a smile still on your face. “Sorry gentlemen, the recruiter was just giving feedback!” You bowed your head to the pair apologetically, il-nam smiled and wave you off.
As you all watched the game finish, il-nam had gotten up and walked to his bedroom for the night, leaving you and in-ho alone in the penthouse. You both ad began to pick up, you collected the drink glasses while in-ho stacked the paperwork in order. A peaceful silence fell over the room, the sound of glass lightly clinking and the water running filled the background.
“So, is he your husband?” In-ho questioned, handing you another glass. You glanced over, confused. “Who?” You tiled your head.
“The recruiter, i mean you both seem close.” In-ho watched as you chuckled, setting the freshly washed cups in the drying rack. “And be mrs recruiter?” You smiled and laughed a bit.
“Never, i only humor him, when we were workers together I had a massive crush on him.” You turned to in-ho grinning. “Why do you ask?” You raised a brow, hoping he’d confess.
“Nothing, il-nam wanted to know what were you both exactly.” He lied, you sighed and nodded. “Make sense, il-nam always tried pushing us together, he told us many, many years ago he saw the recruiter as a younger son who couldn’t see the pretty girl in front of him.” You chuckled at the memory, making in-ho nod, he quietly took in your relaxed features.
“Why did you join the games?” In-ho questioned, quickly noticing how you tensed up for a second before responding. “My situation wasn’t perfect, forced to marry some older guy for money; said guy didn’t earn money legally.” You paused, your memories coming back, you paused holding onto the sink. “He was nice and loving to me at first, then one day I had found out the truth of his source of income, he threated to kill me if i ever said anything.” You paused.
In-ho watched as you avoided his gaze and continued to look at the glass cup. “Turns out there was a rat in his little group, they all thought it was me…I think you know what happened next, I had nothing, so i got offered to play the games, won and divorced the asshole once i had gotten out.” You finished explaining. In-ho went to talk but you cut him off.
You quickly dried your hands before turing to in-ho. “I need to go to bed, goodnight in-ho.” You nodded and excused yourself to the elevators.
- - - - - - - -
The next morning, the VIPs would arrive, you had prepared everything to be perfect. In-ho sighed as he walked into the luxury room, you stood in the middle, directing the waiters.
“Ah, in-ho perfect timing!” You smiled and walked over to him. “What do you think?” You grinned, showing off your newest game idea, the room had been decorated like the outdoors, an adult sized playground filled the area, other playground toys littered around. ”What game is it?” In-ho asked, confused to the playground.
“The floor’s lava.” You smirked and pressed a button on the control panel, the floor had begin to pull back, the playground structures stood tall, in-ho smirked as it would drop players to their deaths. He grinned and nodded at you. “Amazing!” He chuckled as you pressed the button once more and the floor moved back into place.
“Thank you.” You smiled, looking at in-ho. You both stared at each other with admiration; In-ho cleared his throat and excused himself to the control room, you nodded and watched as he walked out of the room. You sighed, placing a hand on your forehead, it was foolish to think he’d move on from his wife that fast.
“Troubles?” Il-nam questioned, walking into the room. You shook your head and sat down on the nearest sofa. “It’s nothing.” You tried to dismiss, il-nam chuckled and sat down beside you. “You have this look where it isn’t, now what is it?” The old man smiled, comfortingly at you. With a sigh you turned to il-nam. “I thought in-ho and I would be closer by now, I mean we both work around each other constantly, ask each other for everything; I mean he got me to open up about my first marriage.” You sighed, placing your head in your hands.
Il-nam chuckled and patted your back. “Seems i have a new blind daughter?”
At his words you picked up your head and looked at il-nam confused. “What do you mean?” you questioned. The old man just chuckled at you.
“He looks at you with much more then admiration.” Il-nam smiled at you. The old man quickly got up from the couch and helped you up before turning to the entrance. “The VIPs should be here anytime now; go get ready.”
You nodded at il-nam and got up to go get dressed.
- - - - - - - -
The soft clicks of your heels filled the control room, you walked over to the control panel and watched as the players began to wake up. You silently looked over the monitors before turning back to the elevator doors. You stopped as in-ho walked into the room, a black matte 3D mask on him.
“Looks nice.” You complimented, he bowed his head, in thanks. “Now i’m official.” He joked, making you smile, you leaned over and fixed his collar which had flipped up due to the mask. “Now you look perfect.” You sighed, smiling at in-ho under your mask.
- - - - - - - -
Another year of twisted children’s games had arrived, you were excited as always. You sat in the limo as il-nam had his driver pick you up from your small apartment. “Are we heading straight to the island?” You questioned, digging through your bag for your binder. “Actually, we have another to pick up.” Il-nam smiled at your confused look.
The limo pulled up in front of a small convenience store with apartments above, you hadn’t looked up from your binder, too busy making notes for the games that were to be played that year. The limo door opened and quickly shut.
“Good evening.” In-ho greeted. You looked up from your binder and smiled at in-ho’s appearance. His hair was now combed back, his eyebags had disappeared; he seemed more put together then he did the previous year. “In-ho.” You greeted, in-ho scooted closer to you in the limo, leaving il-nam by himself on the opposite side, the old man smiled and sipped his champagne.
You tried to focus back on your notes while in-ho and il-nam went over their time apart, you had listened as il-nam and in-ho talked about the newest players.
“The recruiter told me this year is a good batch.” You chimed in, flipping the binder page, viewing the photos il-nam had sent to you as the workers built the stage for the games. Both the other men nodded at your words and began talking over the workers.
You watched as the limo loaded onto the boat, you sighed. Laying back in your sleep you slowly drifted off as the distance sound of the waves hit your ears.
In-ho leaned back a bit, a glass of whiskey in his hand. Il-nam chuckled as your head slowly reached in-ho’s shoulder, “I suggest we need cameras in the-!” In-ho stopped himself as your head laid on his shoulder, he quickly fixed your head to be comfortable before leaning back further.
“You two are cute together.” Il-nam grinned, finishing off his glass before placing it in the cup holder. In-ho smiled bashfully, lookin over to see you peacefully asleep; you had stressed over the games to even properly sleep.
“I don’t think she sees us like that.” In-ho sighed out, il-nam laughed at his words.
“You both are blind; she hasn’t looked at anyone with that look since she was a circle worker.” Il-nam confessed, both men watched as you fidgeted in your sleep but soon stopped as in-ho wrapped and arm around your shoulder to bring you in closer.
“You think so?”
“Oh i know it.”
- - - - - - - -
The three all stood in the control room as the players photos popped up under your feet. You nodded as the board began to fill up. As you paced the board; you stopped as a familiar face posed right below your heel.
“Gameplanner?” In-ho asked, noticing your reaction to a player, he looked down confused at the player and took note of the number before ushing you to the control panel to fix the game’s lighting.
Later that night in-ho had walked to the office where all files of players and their backgrounds where kept and began to go through the computer in hopes to find the player that stunned you earlier.
Player 068, or as you knew him as your first husband. Apparently the man had been caught with his illegal money and was sentenced; once out he was attacked by loan sharks who he had grown a massive debt to, leading him to join the games.
In-ho scoffed at the photo, it was the same asshole who almost killed you. Quickly in-ho logged off and walked back to the elevators and pressed the button for your floor.
You quietly made tea in your small kitchen, you had been shook up the rest of the day, shocked to see your ex make it out of the first game. The sound of shoes came from behind you.
You turned and was surprised to see in-ho in your floor of the building. “What are you doing here?” You questioned, grabbing two mugs down from the cabinet.
“I wanted to see if you were alright after earlier, you seemed stunned.” He explained, setting down his black mask on your table, you sighed and brought him a cup of tea and sat down in front of him. “I’m sorry, seeing someone you didn’t expect to show up will do that to you…” You sipped on your chamomile tea. In-ho sighed and scooted his chair closer to you.
“He can’t do anything anymore, you have power in the control room to kill him within the first second of the next game, i’ll even tell the soldiers to have him killed in the dorm right now if you wish.” In-ho placed his hand on your knee making you breakdown as he looked at you while concern and love in his eyes.
You threw yourself into him and cried into his shoulder.
“He didn’t even suffer the way i did..” You cried, wiping your tears as they fell. In-ho shushed you and rubbed the back of your head in comfort. “It’s alright.” In-ho reassured.
- - - - - - - -
Days had passed and you were slowly getting back to your regular personality, since that night you had noticed in-ho had rarely left your side, he’d even began to sleep on your couch while you slept in your bedroom, to reassure your fear that your ex would attack you in the night.
You sighed as you peacefully laid in your bed, your room door opened giving you the perfect view of in-ho who laid propped up on your couching reading whatever book you had laying around. You played with your comforter before tugging it away from you, slipping on your slippers you walked over to the couch and tapped in-ho’s shoulder.
“Come laid down with me?” You asked, making in-ho stopped breathing, you had looked beautiful, messy bedhead, your silk pajamas, the look of love in your eyes. “Of course.” He nodded and followed as you walked into your bedroom.
He took in the decor as he got into the bed behind you, he hesitated to place his arm over your waist. You turned around to face him and smiled shyly before wrapping his arm around your waist. “Il-nam would lose it if he saw us together right now.” In-ho commented making you chuckle and nod. “He would go “i knew you two would be good together”, typical matchmaker…” You both chuckled at your impression of the old man.
In-ho moved his hand to cup the back of your head and rested it on his chest. You both peacefully fell asleep. You wished it had been a peaceful night.
You both were woken up to the sound of the managers voices coming from the walkie talkies. “Frontman? Gameplanner?” In-ho grabbed the device from your bedside and answered, you got up and grabbed your coat.
“A player had gotten loose, we’ve trapped him in the red light field!” They informed you both. “Which player?” In-ho questioned, “Player 068 sir.”
You watched as in-ho got up from your bed and walked to the living room and got dressed, you following behind him, your white mask in your hand. As he was on autopilot, in-ho walked to the field, his gun in hand and you following behind.
The doors opened to show the pink managers and soldiers surrounding the player. In-ho knelt down to look at the man. “Trying to leave?” He asked, his gloved hand roughly grabbing the players jaw. The man didn’t speak and just shook his head in fear of the masked man. “Did you let your ex-wife go?” In-ho asked, holding the man in a tight grip.
In-ho looked at the man with disgust under his mask, cocking his gun he stopped and turned to the crowd and found you standing behind soldiers. “Gameplanner, why don’t you get this pleasure.” In-ho stood up and held his hand out to you.
You took his hand and walked to face your ex-husband, your mask forgotten on the dirt floor.
The man looked at you, pleading to live. “C’mon honey, remember the good times we had!” He tried to grab your coat but in-ho stomped on the man’s hand making him yell out in pain. “You bitch, having men do your dirty work!” He yelled out, without heistain you stood tall and aimed the gun.
BOOM!
You watched as his body fell back, blood spilling on the dirt. You turned to see in-ho with a unreadable look, his mask now on the ground as he glared at the body.
“In-ho.” You watched as he turned to you and quickly wrapped you in a hug and kissed your cheeks as tear began to fall; your ex-husband was finally gone, now longer haunting your mind. “I’m here, i have you.” He reassured, you pulled back and stared at in-ho with admiration and leaned in.
In-ho chuckled and kissed your tenderly, ignoring as the pink workers and soldiers began to clean up. “I’ll alway keep you from harm.” In-ho whispered against your lips making you kiss him once more eagerly.
- - - - - - - -
Il-nam chuckled as you both stood in front of a courthouse, your marriage certificate in hands you both kissed for the photo.
“It's a good photo of you both!” The old man smiled at in-ho who chuckled at the framed photo on his desk.
“Thank you.” In-ho thanked him before searching through paperwork.
“Gentlemen.” A smooth voice made the pair look up to see the recruiter in his suit. In-ho and il-nam shook his hand in greeting before they all dove into paperwork of the next game.
A bit had gone by before the front door to in-ho's and your shared apartment opened. You were greeted to the sight of the three men crowding over your dining table. With a chuckle you placed down your bag on the couch and watched them go over plans.
“Gameplanner.” The recruiter smiled and kissed your hand. From the corner of your eye you smirked as in-ho leaned back in his chair watching you both, but playing it as if he was stretching. “Getting close to my wife?” In-ho questioned as you both parted away from each other.
You chuckled as the recruiter fixed his tie and hair before sitting back down. “It’s only a greeting to the mrs frontman..” The recruiter tried to defend, making il-nam chuckle at the reactions.
In-ho smirked while you gave the recruiter a look of distaste, “He should be mr gameplanner, i’ve had my title longer!” You scoffed, sitting down next to your husband.
“Alright then, it was a simple greeting to mrs gameplanner.”
You smiled at the re-wording and went back to helping il-nam with the scattered papers.
taglist girlies : @snowtargaryen @menabuser16 @azusdump @jspidey5 @annasnape7 @macnbriee @ookybatt @sasha-swftie @moonxnite @ninglovr
mr & mrs girlies: @colorwastaken @aphoenixnamed-angel @sooyasya @fries11 @lover-girl009 @skywalker0809 @fallout-girl219 @scarlettlupinblack
#frontman x reader#hwang inho x reader#squid game x reader#player 001 x reader#frontman x you#hwang inho#squid game x you#young il x reader#in ho x reader#lee byung hun x reader
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch5. child's play
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ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
ᰔ chapter. 5/x
ᰔ words. 4.8k
a/n. helloo my ihm friends! long time no see. hope you're all doing well and thank you so much to everyone who sent me kind messages about the whole ihm gojo ex wife thing haha. i really appreciate it :) i feel more confident about my writing decisions now, and that's all thanks to you guys! anyways, i will be posting shorter chapters for ihm going forward, so sorry if some chapters have slightly abrupt endings or stuff like that. i guess my goal is to post shorter chapters but more frequently! we'll see how it works out. anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter and see you at the bottom!!
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Ever since admitting your mother into hospice, things have been calmer inside your mind. After passing the initial wave of agony that came with no longer hearing her voice down the hall or seeing her silhouette in her bedroom as you walked past it, you realized that…a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. No longer setting alarms at the height of every other hour to remind your mother to take her medication, no longer viewing every interaction you had with her as some form of study you needed to jot down in a binder for her neurologist’s records, and no longer driving her to all of her chemotherapy appointments, only to leave them feeling like you purposefully just took your mother to a place where they sucked all the life out of her in exchange for the slim promise of giving it all back to her someday.
Maybe it was evident in the way your shoulders felt less tense as you rolled them back, tilting your neck to the side and no longer feeling the painful strain that tugs a wince onto your face. The other day, you caught yourself humming a song as you drove to work. Your skin, usually feeling cracked and dry from stress and exhaustion, now has a slight plumpness to it like before. A more youthful glow, like the version of yourself you were before your mother became sick. The version of you that so quickly deteriorated, and one you didn’t even know still existed somewhere within you.
There has also been time for hobbies. Rarest of occasions, you find yourself sauteing some yellow and white peaches in a saucepan over medium heat in Gojo’s kitchen, humming that song once again that’s been stuck in your head. The sundress you’re wearing matches the pink of the syrup that pools at the bottom of the pan, and you feel like you’re living your cottage core dreams in this brief moment of reprieve you’ve allowed yourself to fall into.
The sound of slippers tapping down onto the hardwood floor startles you out of your gleeful trance, and you turn your neck to the right to see a pajama-clad messy-haired Gojo shuffling his feet across the open area into the kitchen with a dark black mug in his hand.
“Why aren’t you dressed??” you ask him in a panic.
“I’ll get dressed later,” he tells you dismissively as he grabs the glass pitcher of coffee from where the coffee machine was nestled up against one of the counter corners.
“You’re stressing me out. Your mom told us to be there in two hours,” you say, putting your hands on your hips in disapproval as you hear the sizzle of the peaches in the saucepan.
He entirely ignores you, choosing to instead drag his gaze down the form of your body. “Woooow, twice this month I get to see you in a cute dress,” he comments, pouring coffee into his mug but his eyes are still on you, “lucky me.”
“Oh Shut. Up,” you sneer at him with a harsh roll of your eyes, “your fake flattery might work on the lonely middle-aged women you seduce to make a living, but it won’t work on me.”
His shoulders push back before he slumps them slightly, his brow lifting with confusion. “It’s not fake though? I mean it. You look really nice right now.”
You point an accusatory sugar-syrup coated wooden spatula at him. “You’ve just been conditioned by the patriarchy to get a boner at the sight of a woman in a kitchen.”
“What–...no–...why do you always have to say stuff like that whenever I compliment you? Can’t you just accept it?”
You cross your arms over your chest. “I refuse to be flattered by an insolent man like you.”
He sighs, setting his coffee mug down on the counter, and you watch the way the fringe of his hair hangs over his forehead as he gazes into the contents, swirling it around with a loose grip on the handle. “Is this how it’s going to be everyday? I try to be nice, and you–...well, you know, are you.”
“Well who else should I be?”
His eyes lift up to meet yours, the slightest of a cheeky grin on his face as his eyes wander down the form of you again. “I don’t know. Someone a little…softer? Like, you’ve got this really pretty dress on, and then you’re telling me off about patriarchy-induced boners. It’s a little, uh, contradictory?”
You gasp. “You’re trying to control me. I knew it. You are poisoned by the patriarchy.”
“What?”
Your eyes narrow at him. “You have this image of a perfect and cute little wife, who’s gonna wear pretty dresses all the time, and bake stuff in the kitchen, and get all blushy when you tell her she looks beautiful, and you expect her to have this soft little personality that never argues with you or disagrees with you…ALL BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!”
“...I–...Okay, you’ve lost me.”
You let out a hmph! noise. “Can’t even discern his own brainwashing. Sad.”
“All of this just because I tried to tell you that you look nice?”
“I know what your ulterior motives are, you creep.”
His eyes spark a little at that, the corner of his mouth tugging up into a cheeky grin as he sets the coffee mug down onto the marble counter and he straightens his spine. You blink, watching with confusion as he crosses the distance between the two of you, to where you’re taking a small few steps backwards until your lower back presses against the edge of the island countertop. He cages you into the surface with his frame, followed by the palms of his hands sliding over the marble on both sides of you, and you feel his forearms press against the curve of your waist as he traps you in with no way out.
“S-Satoru,” you stutter, looking up at him with wide eyes, “what are you doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” he says, his voice deeper with a nonchalance that has you shiver, his gaze dropping to your lips when you part them slightly.
“T-The patriar–” you squeak out, but he suddenly dips his head down to kiss you.
Your breath hitches in your throat, eyes immediately closing when he moves his lips against yours, one of his strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer to him and your hesitation is something that only lasts a brief second before you find yourself kissing him back. Some noise leaves his throat, deep and raw and sounding pleasantly surprised as he captures your lips more fervidly now, his hands smoothing down to hold your hips and his teeth slightly nip at your bottom lip.
You grab a fistful of his shirt, unsure of whether you want to pull him closer to you or push him away, but the moan that you mumble against his lips only makes his grip on your hips even stronger, fingers digging into the softness through the thin fabric of your dress.
The oven suddenly starts beeping, startling you and you pull away from the kiss with a gasp, eyes rounded as you look up at him, but his are lidded and dilated as his gaze remains glued to your lips.
With a heaving chest, you try to push him away by a weak fist to his sternum but he’s unrelenting.
“You taste sweet,” he says, like some comment he noted in his head but accidentally voiced out loud.
“I–...” you inhale sharply, “I just ate three macerated peaches.”
“Uh-huh,” he barely acknowledges before leaning in to get another taste, but you push him away harsher this time.
His hands let go of your hips entirely, finally breaking out of that kiss-induced trance he was in, but he still remains close to you in proximity, so much so to where you can feel the heat from his body. It’s comforting almost, radiating through the soft cotton of his long sleeve shirt, and you find yourself subconsciously leaning towards him before you snap out of it too, and rock your weight back against the island countertop.
You cross your arms over your chest, hoping the flush to your cheeks isn’t showing. “Oh okay so we just casually kiss now?”
He shoves his hands into his plaid pajama pant pockets, leaning away from you slightly. “For as long as I can get away with it, yeah.”
“You are breaking the rules.”
“You never said no kissing.”
“I said no touching.”
“Ehhh kissing isn’t really touching, though, is it?”
“You sound stupid.”
“I always sound stupid to you.”
The oven starts beeping again, and you realize it’s long been preheated to the setting you had placed earlier. You slip away from him with haste, feeling his gaze on you as you press a button on the oven to turn the alarm off, and you stare at the handle for a moment or two to calm the beating of your heart down.
Your eyes catch sight of something on the side of the fridge. A little magnet made of rubber that has the word London on it as well as the design of the Westminster Cathedral with golden accents. You recall that Gojo went on a trip to London recently, and that he didn’t bring you back any souvenirs from there like he did for your other neighbors. And you want to pretend, you want to shove it down, that incessantly childish feeling that wonders why he didn’t bring you anything back. You want to continue to pretend like it doesn’t hurt your feelings. Something so miniscule and small. But you–...well, you can’t.
You spin around to face him. “Do you hate me?” you bluntly ask.
He blinks at you. “Huh?”
“Do you, what, I don’t know, think I’m annoying or something?”
He shrugs with his hands still in his pockets. “I mean, yeah, I do think you’re annoying sometimes. But in a silly way. Like we’re just pals horsin’ around, y’know?”
You snarl at him, putting your hands on your hips and narrowing your gaze until he’s hardly even visible anymore. “No. I actually find you annoying. Like, wanna-run-you-over-with-a-bus annoying. You just have horrendous social awareness and think that everyone loves you.”
“You actually don’t like me?” he asks, like he can’t even believe that someone wouldn’t.
“Yes,” you say, “now get out of my way.” You make an attempt to push past him, purposefully knocking your shoulder into him to assert dominance but he is unfortunately much bigger than you and so all it does is make you stumble ungracefully from the recoil.
He quickly grabs your arm to steady you, and you glare up at him before yanking yourself away and then step backwards until your back hits the fridge.
He studies your demeanor for a second before taking a deep inhale, and then lets it all go in a heaving sigh. “What do I have to do to get you to lighten up a bit?” he asks.
“You really want to know?” you sneer at him.
“Yes,” he says with a slight hint of frustration in his tone.
You cross your arms. “Pay for the fucking fence.”
He blinks at you, confusion replacing whatever frustration was previously decorating his tone. “What?”
“The fence,” you reiterate with a step forwards towards him, “the one I built six months ago. The one where you laughed in my face when I told you to help pay for it.”
He leans forward. “Yeah. Because I never wanted that fence built. Like I said, it fucked up the roots on my avocado tree. You should’ve asked me before building it. In fact, it’s illegal to build a fence without joint consent of both neighboring property owne–”
“Oh my god, okay, see? This is why I can’t stand you,” you snarl at him and make another move to get past him but he easily steps in front of you to keep you from going anywhere.
With a sigh, he relents. “Fine, I’ll pay for the fence.”
You try to keep the twitching muscles of your face still as you resolutely stare up at him, pressing your lips into a thin line. Through a strained tone, you say, “No. I don’t want you to pay for it anymore.”
He lifts a brow, utterly bewildered at this point. “Huh?”
“Now it just feels like pity. And I don’t want your pity money.”
“Two seconds ago, you did.”
“Yeah, well, whatever. That was two seconds ago.”
“So…let me get this straight, you don’t want me to pitch in?”
“No. I want you to have wanted to pitch in SIX MONTHS AGO.”
“Okay but what the fuck am I supposed to do about that now?”
“NOTHING!!!” you finally snap at him, the shrill to your voice startling him slightly to where you see his shoulders jump, and his eyes are now rounded blue as he looks at you. “There’s nothing you can do about it, there’s nothing you can do to get me to ‘lighten up’ or ‘act softer’ or whatever the fuck kind of damage control you aim to achieve with me due to your pestering incessant need to be liked by every fucking person you come across. So just deal with the fact that I hate you and let me do it in peace.”
He’s silent for what feels like a long time as he blinks at you, his bottom lip pushing up slightly in a way that suggests he’s almost impressed by your little outburst, then he takes a step forward, and in that one large stride, he’s closed any distance between the two of you. Your back is up against the frigid steel of the fridge, your heels tucked under the warm rubber at the foot of it, and you’re looking up at Gojo as he towers over you, his hands still annoyingly and relaxedly shoved into his pockets.
“Do you think it’s gonna be a problem that I think you’re kinda hot when you’re mad?” he asks you.
A small puff of air leaves your lips, like you just can’t believe the audacity, but also having him this close to you suddenly made it a little harder to breathe. “C–...Can you just be fucking serious for one second?”
His head dips down, the fringe of his hair tickling your forehead, tip of his nose slightly brushing against yours, but his gaze never falls to your lips. “You think I’m not being stupid fuckin’ serious when I say that you’re hot?”
“S–” your breath hitches in your throat, and his gaze finally falls to the lick you pass over your lips, “Satoru–”
Like God himself answered to your (cognitively dissonant) prayers, the bell rings, and Gojo leans himself away from you, straightening his spine so he can glance over his shoulder towards the door, a slight look of irritation on his face through the furrow of his brow.
You blink up at him. “A–...Are you expecting someone?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “No. Don’t think so.” He sighs before shuffling around the kitchen island and across the dining hall towards the entryway of the house, and you peer at the sight from across the hall.
When he opens the door, you see Sana standing outside, dressed in mom jeans and a t-shirt with her black Coach purse slung around her shoulder, arms crossed, and you barely register the fact that she looks pissed.
“Sana?” Gojo says, “what’s up.”
She entirely ignores him when she catches sight of you, pushing right past him and into the family room that you were currently finding solace in.
“You,” she points at you, storming right up to your personal space, “what the hell did you say to Juno when you were babysitting her?!”
“H-Huh??” you squeak out, taking a step backwards. “What are you talking about?”
“You told her to fight kids at school?!” she snarls at you, and your eyes widen.
“What?” you say, your face twisting with confusion, “I–...I never said that. I just said that she should stand up for herself if she needs to.”
Sana inhales deeply with rage, leaning back and jutting her hip out as she crosses her arms again. “Yeah, well, I had to pick her up early from school today because the principal called and told me she shoved a little girl on the playground during recess, and now she’s facing suspension.”
Gojo approaches suddenly from your periphery, standing in front of you as he faces Sana. You stand on your tiptoes to peer at her over his shoulder. “What? Why would Juno do something like that?
You hear Sana start to tap her foot impatiently against the hardwood floor, and then she turns her head away from Gojo as a slight hmph! noise leaves her throat. “The why is irrelevant.”
You poke your head out from behind Gojo and glare at her, but then Gojo turns around suddenly to look at you.
“y/n,” he says, “what’s going on?”
“I–” you start, glancing at Sana again who now has a solemn look on her face with pursed lips. You glance back at Gojo, who’s looking at you with confusion and anticipation. A heat spreads down your neck from the attention of the both of them on you, and you’re not sure what the smart thing to say is, so you figure you’ll just tell the truth as it is. “...I just didn’t want her getting bullied and thinking she can’t stick up for herself.”
At that, you see Gojo’s shoulders stiffen. “Bullied?” he repeats after you, then quickly turns towards Sana, “what does she mean, bullied? Juno’s getting bullied at school?”
Sana faces him full-on, raising a stern pointed finger between the two of them “No. Satoru. Stop. You always do this. This has nothing to do with you, so don’t even start. It’s not a big deal, let’s not make it one.”
“The fuck do you mean it’s not a big deal? She’s getting bullied at school, and you want her to just suck it up?” he asks, venom dripping from his tone.
“It’s for her benefit!” Sana exclaims. “Jun and I have spent months trying to get her into this school! We don’t want her getting kicked out.”
“Y’know, I’m–” you stutter, “I’m gonna–...I’m just gonna go upstairs,” you say, “this seems like a family matter. I think you guys should probably just settle this on your ow–”
“No,” Gojo says, pointing to the couch that you were standing in front of, “sit down.”
You sit.
Gojo turns to face Sana again, and although you can’t see his face, you imagine he’s pissed off from the way Sana’s shoulders drop slightly and her sharp expression is cut into a more sheepish one.
“Who cares if Juno is suspended for sticking up for herself? It’s the teachers’ fault for not making sure she’s safe,” he says.
“Shoving other kids is not the solution.”
“Well if you fuck around, then you find out. Kids are too soft these days.”
“This is not the 90s, Satoru.”
You watch the back and forth between the two of them for the better part of an entire minute, feeling uneasy in the hostile environment of the room, but there’s a sense of underlying familiarity between the two, one that is recognizable amongst family. And you feel rather foreign, but then remember that, technically speaking, now that you’re married to Gojo, this is your family too.
Amongst the arguing of the adults, none of you noticed that Juno had gotten out of the car in the driveway and was now standing in the doorframe of the front entrance. She looks scared and guilty, fidgeting with her fingers in front of her, and you notice her scrapes and bruises that you tended to last week were now mostly healed.
Gojo catches sight of her, and you see his shoulders relax. “Juno, c’mere.”
With the permission, she instantly runs towards him and into his arms from where he was crouched down to the floor in order to welcome her, and then she starts sobbing.
“I’m–hic,” she cries, “I’m so–hic–I’m so sowwyyy Uncle Toru…I’m–hic–I’m sorry mommyyyy.”
You see Sana sigh and she makes a move to brush Juno’s tear-dampened hair out of her face when Gojo pulls her away from his shoulder by a delicate hold of her bony little shoulders.
“Juno. Listen. If people are being mean to you, then you do exactly as your auntie y/n said. You stand up for yourself. And if that doesn’t work, then you cuss at them and threaten to shove their faces into the dirt until they run away with their tails between their legs. Do you understand me?” Gojo tells her.
Sana gives you a pointed look.
“Oh, I–” you put your hands up in front of you, “I didn’t say any of that last part.”
“Do you understand me?” Gojo repeats again, and Juno nods her head slowly before she falls back into him and soaks his shirt with tears. “I’m soowwwwwyyyyyy.”
Gojo pats her back a few times to comfort her, and your heart breaks for the little girl. It’s bad enough to be bullied at school, but then to be reprimanded by your mother the one time you stand up for yourself…you can imagine how emotionally exhausting that would be for a five-year-old.
Juno sniffles, rubbing her snot all over the cotton of Gojo’s shirt, and then pulls her face away to rub at her eye with a weakly closed fist. “I–hic–I just…I just wanted him to feel–hic–the same hurt.”
“Huh? Who?” Gojo asks.
“The boy,” Juno says, “the one that shoved me today.”
“It was a boy?!?!?!” Gojo yells. “Alright. That’s it. I’m grabbing my bat.”
“Satoru.” Sana deadpans.
Sana and Gojo continue to bicker about the ethics of threatening five-year-old boys with baseball bats, going back and forth about how Gojo wasn’t actually going to do anything but just wanted to instill fear (he’s lying), while Sana isn’t exactly sold on a single pacifist thing that he says, and you sigh, because you realize you’ve become invested in one of, what you feel like will become many, of their family quarrels.
Juno sneaks around Gojo’s legs and comes up to you while the arguing is taking place in the background, and she gently taps your knee as you’re seated on the couch. “Auntie y/n,” she whispers.
You rub an eye crustie from her face and then hold her hand in yours. “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Mm? For what?”
She smiles at you, her cheeks pink and flush from crying but rounded now in glee. “My mommy and daddy spoke a lot today at home for first time in long time because of me. Because I listen’ded to you. Thank you.”
Your eyes narrow. “What do you mean by that, sweetheart?”
Why wouldn’t Sana and Jun be on normal talking terms? What does Juno mean that it’s been a long time? What exactly was going on at home?
“Juno,” Sana’s voice interrupts your thoughts, her arms crossed across her chest, “c’mon. Let’s go.” She points a stern finger at Gojo. “Seriously. I mean it. No baseball bats or rodent traps involved. I’ll talk to the teachers and sort something out.” She glances at you, that strict look on her face now dissolving into one of pure exhaustion. One you can imagine only a mother can face. “See you later at dinner, you two.”
Juno runs up to her mom and grabs onto her outreached hand, and you see Gojo ruffle her hair as she walks past him, her giggles ringing in the air, and then he sees them out the door.
The air is awkward, at least to you, the second he closes the door, and when he turns around to face you, your body stiffens up.
He leans back onto the front door, crossing his arms over his chest. “Thanks,” he says, “for telling Juno to stick up for herself.”
You blink at him. “Well. I don’t feel too great about it at the moment, to be honest.”
He sighs. “I just think that Jun and Sana are raising her to be…kinda meek. I wish they’d teach her to be more confident and take up space.”
“Mhm,” you nod. Because you agree. Little girls need to learn how to be that way at a young age, because the world is seldom very kind to them.
“Well, what you said to her is what I would’ve said to her anyways,” he says.
You roll your eyes, standing up from the couch and heading back into the kitchen to presume your work on your peach cobbler. “I never told her to shove kids’ faces into the dirt. But, uh, sure, I guess so.”
You see Gojo enter the kitchen too in your periphery, but you don’t give him any glance or look or attention. From what you can see as you stir around your macerated peaches in a Pyrex bowl, he’s leaning against the island counter about three feet away from you, his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s watching you. A slight warmth radiates in your cheeks, but you attempt to ignore the nerves by being hypnotized by the pink syrup that pools at the bottom of the bowl.
My mommy and daddy spoke a lot today at home for first time in long time because of me. Because I listen’ded to you. Thank you.
An unsettling feeling takes over your senses. It could be the past few years you’ve spent walking on eggshells around your mother, or the way you’ve become so keen to her energy as a way of staying on top of any shift in her symptoms, any single sign of disease progression, any clue that she wasn’t getting better. Any clue that she wasn’t doing okay. And you feel a sense of dread, because that skill, you realize, has now made you aware of similar circumstances in the people around you.
Not to mention, you are a child of divorce. You know what that fear feels like.
You just want to know if Juno feels safe at home.
“Hey, um…” you start, turning slightly to finally face Gojo, your eyes hesitantly flickering up to meet his gaze, “when was the last time you saw your brother-in-law? And with Sana?”
He raises a brow at you. “I just saw them last weekend for one of Juno’s dance recitals.”
“Ah…I see,” you say. You purse your lips together.
Right. Kids say things all the time. They believe in Santa Claus and think that blueberry pancakes are called blubbery pancakes. And they sometimes read too into things, and they sometimes read too little. Surely, things must be okay. Maybe Sana and Jun had had a little argument with some stubbornly thawing cold shoulders, a demeanor that was noticed by their child, and now things have resumed to normal. That was normal. Part of every family. “That’s good to know…”
You turn away from Gojo to stare back down into the bowl of macerated peaches again. With a furrowed brow, you close your eyes tightly to try to shake the chilly feeling in your bones, and you feel better when you open them again. The slightly numb sensation in your hand dissipates and you have enough dexterity to mix the peaches around in the bowl.
“I wonder what news they want to share with us over dinner,” you say, to quell the awkward silence.
“Hm?” Gojo hums, and you see him turn around face the counter now, hovering over the bowl of raw crumble topping you had mixed together, prodding at it with the wooden spoon. “Oh, they’re moving.”
Your head snaps to look at him. “W-What?”
“Yeah,” he nonchalantly affirms, scooping up a spoonful of the crumble. “They wanted to up-size, and move a little closer to the school that Juno’s at. I found them a nice place about an hour from here on the outskirts of the city. They just signed the papers a couple weeks ago.” And then he shoves the spoon into his mouth.
“Oh…wow,” you say. “Okay…”
“Damn,” Gojo says with surprise laced in his tone, "this is really good.” He’s staring into the bowl in awe and then scoops up some more crumble with a spoon.
You blink at him, irritated that he’s eating all your ingredients without even asking, and before you’ve even finished your dessert. It’s like he was born to piss you off.
You walk up to him and yank the bowl away, “Gimme that.” Then you pull it into the divot of your waist possessively and glare at him.
He sighs, and then says something out loud that you’re sure he meant to keep in his head:
“I’ll get used to it.”
.
.
.
[end of chapter 5]
a/n. it feels so strange to post such a short chapter bahaha hopefully the ending isn't too abrupt. but hope you enjoyed! i'm so sorry ab the slow burn in this series aaa but i can try to assure you that it'll all be worth it hopefully lol i'm really excited for what i have planned for this series!! alsooo sorry if there are errors or anything, i'm trying to spend less time editing since it really stalls me n leads to writer's block lol. hope to see you in the next one :) much love! - ellie
➸ take me to chapter six!
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note. going foward, i will be tagging only interacts because i want to make sure i'm tagging active readers! so taglist may change every chapter. i'm also getting rid of the extended taglist bc it's too much work for me lol, so only 50 tags per chapter. i'd recommend subscribing to the fic on my ao3 so you can get email notifs :) but as always let me know if/when your taglist preferences change; please do not ask me/pressure me for updates or ask me when i am going to next update (read rules)
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#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader angst#jjk gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#smut#fluff#angst#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo x you#long fic#jjk fanfiction#jjk series#romance#fake dating#fake marriage#neighbors au#ongoing series#humor#slow burn#mutual pining#enemies to lovers#gojo x reader series
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Hello!
I wanted to ask a question, if that's okay. So, I'm genderfluid afab and feel like a man sometimes (probably more often than I allow myself to realise). I don't have access to a Binder or anything of that sort (transphobic parents).
Is there any way for me to look/be more masculine? I'm a bit scared of goggling because I don't want to accidentally take advice from Tate people or the like.
(PS. I really like your Siegfried Farnon cosplay!)
Heya!
This is a tough one to answer. Because "masculine" means different things to different people. And "passing", as well.
Like. When I wear my fleece jacket and baseball cap, I'm deliberately passing as a certain type of man. But I felt more masculine the other day wearing an ascot.
So, I think we need to break down this question:
1) If you're looking to pass, there are going to be trans masc guides out there that will direct you to a very particular gender presentation. They tend to assume you are white and skinny. They present themselves as a list of Dos and Do-Nots, and at the end of the day, do more harm than good, imo. Because passing guides are almost always about hiding parts of yourself physically, often to the expense of hiding parts of your psyche.
Seek them out if you must, but when it comes to passing for safety, all I can suggest is ambiguous layers, a hat, keeping your head down and your mouth shut. The best way to pass is to not draw attention to yourself, alas.
2) If you're looking to dress more masculine to alleviate gender dysphoria, then you need to drill down to what makes you dysphoric and start there. My smaller feet is one area of contention for me, so I look for semi-dressy shoes that look long and elegant (like Taft boots). Since you can't get a binder, consider layers, if your chest bothers you.
3) If you're looking to dress more masculine to seek gender euphoria, then figure out your aesthetic masculine ideal. Make a pinboard of Looks you enjoy and see if there are trends. Some folks are drawn to athletic wear. Work wear. Perhaps a vintage aesthetic -- Rockabilly. 90s grunge. 1940s British country vet (meeeee, lol).
Ask yourself: What are the hallmarks of this style? Are there casual and formal versions? How does it change seasonally? How much of it is clothing and how much of it is the body (haircut, being muscular, etc)? And above all - what is this style trying to communicate to others?
Once done, see what sort of fashion tips are out there for your style. Who are the fashion experts and how much do you care about their advice? (Menswear guy has great tips about how a modern suit "should" fit, but a lot of his advice is also personal preference with a big dollop of classism.)
Pay close attention to how men wear their clothes -- where they sit on the body, how they style the outfit. Compare how a man is styled in your preferred look to how a woman is styled and see what that sparks in you. How much of it is the clothing or body? How much is posture? You might discern some visual shorthand you can harness to be read as more masculine. You might also come up with ways to have plausible deniability around your parents by being able to pivot a masculine look to be more feminine, when needed.
After all this research, get yourself to a thrift shop or other second hand option and start experimenting. Buying actual men's clothing is probably going to be your best bet, but depending on your Look Book, that may not always be the case.
No one can tell you how to feel more masculine -- that really needs to come from within. Once you figure that out, then it's a matter of reconciling your ideal look with the peculiarities of your body. (And all men have their own challenges wrt the fit of clothes.)
Afford yourself as much grace as possible when it comes to your body. And again, remember that feeling more masculine and passing more masculine may not always overlap and could even be at odds. And only you can determine if and when that is a problem.
#trans stuff#ty about Siegfried - his aesthetic is one I've been chasing most my life#so he is def my personal masculine ideal and his clothes are now more than cosplay for me
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semester success. ᥫ᭡
[ 3 chapter mini series ]
in this series, i’m going to teach you all my helpful tips and tricks on how to succeed in the new semester in just 3 quick chapters! get ready to take notes, we’re diving right in!
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chapter one — THE STARTING WEEK
the first week of a new semester can be daunting. how the rest of your semester will go depends on how your first week starts. so let’s make sure we start the semester on the right foot!
class is in session …
୨ৎ — the week before
if you can start preparations at least one week before the start of the new semester, do it!
here’s what you can do:
monday & tuesday - gather all your supplies
the basics…
backpack / school bag
folders / binders / notebooks / planner
pencil case / pencils / pens / highlighters
laptop / tablet / tablet pen / chargers
essentials…
textbooks / required materials
personal care & hygiene products (i.e. deodorant, perfume, lip balm, hair ties, hand sanitizer, feminine products)
headphones
in case you’re missing a few extra supplies, be sure to go and make those necessary purchases! create a checklist if you have to!
wednesday - check student email
be sure to check your student email for any new updates from your teachers/professors! you also want to make sure you give yourself a solid amount of time before classes start back up to keep checking for updates and/or important announcements.
** from this point up until the day before your new semester starts, keep checking your student email. i recommend checking at least 4 times per day! once in the morning around 8-9am, twice in the afternoon around 12-1pm & around 3-4pm, and then once more at night around 7-8pm!
thursday & friday - plan for the first week
grab your planner (whether it’s physical or digital) and take some time to plan out your first week! make note of what classes you have on what days & include the times those classes start, write down any important non-school related appointments/events that you have during that first week, and be sure to include time during that first week where you can rest and relax.
saturday - review syllabus & double checking
take some time out of your day to read and review each of your class’ syllabi! make sure you read through them thoroughly and highlight any important dates that show up in the course semester schedule. i also recommend highlighting your teachers’/professors’ contact information, and if they have office hours be sure to make note of that as well!
also, let this second-to-last day before the start of the semester be designated for last minute preparations. double check that you have all your supplies, check your student email again, and just make sure you complete everything else that might be on your to-do list.
sunday - relaxing & decompressing
the final day of your break before the semester starts should be used to just rest and relax. treat yourself kindly on this day; pamper yourself! do skincare, treat yourself to a cozy day in, watch your favorite show or movies, journal! do something that makes you feel at ease and makes you feel happy! it’s important to have a day where you can just relax and only focus on relaxing.
you might also want to ease your mind by doing some last minute cleaning and reorganizing! starting a new semester with a refreshed study space/room (whether it be an office or your bedroom) can help alleviate some stress that might still be lingering. refresh your space and clear your mind!
this little schedule might not be the exact one you follow, and that’s okay! i made this as an example of what you can do & what your week before might look like!
୨ৎ — academic weapon style
get dressed up for your first week back! wear the clothes that make you feel confident and that help you set the tone for yourself.
gather inspiration! dress like your favorite academic icons! hop onto pinterest & look for style inspo for different characters like…
rory gilmore
hermione granger
meredith grey
cristina yang
elle woods
spencer hastings
blair waldorf
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cristina yang , blair wladorf , spencer hastings
୨ৎ — create a consistent morning & night routine
it’s important to have a routine, especially in the morning and at night. having a routine that works for you and your schedule will help smooth any rough edges that might come up during your semester!
go to sleep & wake up at the same time every day
incorporate self care/hygiene routine in the morning and night
include health & wellness aspects (journaling, morning yoga, etc.)
make your bed as soon as you wake up
set aside time to unwind/time for yourself
୨ৎ — chat with/get to know your professors
the first week is all about figuring out the vibe of your class, so get a feel for your environment and who your professors are! you will be working with them for the next 16 weeks!
use this time to ask questions, let your professor know a little bit about you, and take notes on what your professor asks from you and your classmates during this semester.
after you’ve taken the time to review the syllabus prior to classes starting, write down possible questions or concerns that you can bring up to your teachers!
before you’re dismissed …
take on the first week with your full strength! create that good first impression for yourself and set the path for your incoming success!
with lots of love, faustina 🌷
#milkoomis#girlblogger#girlblogging#it girl#that girl#becoming that girl#becoming her#study productivity#study movitation#studyblr#study blog#academic motivation#academics#school motivation#college#student tips#leveling up#level up#it girl tips#motivation#self improvement tips#self improvement#personal growth tips#personal growth
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The Angel, The Demon, and the University Student They "Adopted" - Aziraphale & Crowley Imagine [Good Omens]
Title: The Angel, The Demon, and the University Student They "Adopted"
Pairing: Aziraphale & Crowley X Platonic!Reader
Word Count: 2,071 words
Warning(s): headache, mention of break-up
Summary: In which a struggling college student stumbles upon a demon and an angel, who agree to help in any way they can.
Author's Note: to celebrate the announcement of the release date... and give a little comfort to those who are having a rough time in college right now.
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I had gone to that small bookshop for something to work on a paper.
I had been looking for it online, but nothing was affordable. My best option was going to be to find a small bookshop that didn't charge as much. I simply had my fingers crossed that it would work out.
I must've been walking around with my eyebrows furrowed for a little while because a man walked up to me. He was wearing a beige suit with a-little-too-perfectly white hair. He seemed friendly enough though.
"Can I help you find something," he asked. I paused for a moment. "Sorry, I'm the owner. I can tell you where everything is."
"Oh, okay," I chuckled. I pointed at a part of my paper where my potential sources had been scribbled down. "Um, yes. I'm looking for this... it's for a school paper."
"I see..." he muttered. "Wait here."
I nodded.
I watched him walk behind a set of shelves. There was maybe a minute of waiting before the man walked out again with the book in his hands.
"Oh, you are a lifesaver," I said excitedly. "Thank you! How much?"
He hesitated, staring at the book. As if he grabbed it without thinking about it but now was realizing that he was going to have to part with it.
"How about a deal," he offered after a few moments. "Once you're done with your paper, bring it back here in largely the same condition. No charge and you have no additional clutter to take up space in your home."
I grinned. "Sounds like a deal."
"Well, then, I wish you luck on your paper," he handed me the book
"Thank you," I said. I only took a few steps toward the door before stopping. "I didn't get your name."
He hesitated for a moment before replying, "A.Z. Fell."
"Oh, I thought... Sorry, I assumed this place had been open for a while, so I thought the name on the front was your father or something."
"Afraid not."
"Well, thank you again. I'll see you in a few days."
Which I did.
A few days later, my paper was done, and I walked back into the little bookshop.
"Mr. Fell," I called.
He rounded the corner. "You're back."
"I'm here to return your book," I held up the book as evidence. "Perfect condition."
"Thank you so much," he said as he grabbed it from me. "I hope you get a good grade on that paper of yours."
"Me too," I chuckled. "In all honestly, I don't think I've read it without just a little more of my brain frying."
"Oh no," he mumbled. "I... I could read it over for you. If that would help, of course. I won't force you to give me your paper."
"I... I can't ask you to do that."
"Well, that's precisely why I'm offering," he grinned at me.
I grinned back. "Okay. When would you like me to bring it by?"
"Do you have time now?"
"Um, yeah, sure."
"Here," he led me into a corner of the shop with a small table. "You get your paper put together and I'll make us some tea."
"Okay," I nodded.
As he walked out, I sat down and unzipped my bag, grabbing the binder that held my paper. I also grabbed a red pen just so it was more convenient.
When he came back, he placed a mug in front of me. I grinned and thanked him.
"You can go find a book to enjoy if you'd rather that than watch me read..." he looked at the paper in front of him. "(Y/n)."
"Thank you."
I took his advice. I took the mug of tea and started pacing around the collection of books. I was scanning the spines of the books when the doors of the shop slammed open.
"Angel!"
I jumped at the sound, looking over at whoever had stormed in. Another man, dressed in all black, sunglasses sitting on his face.
"Who are you?"
"(Y/n)," I said. "Who are you?"
"I have told you to not run in here shouting like that," Mr. Fell walked out of the corner that he had been hiding in.
"Who is this," the other man pointed at me.
"I just told you my name," I replied.
"How am I meant to trust you?"
"Why would I lie about my name?"
"Don't know, you tell me-"
"Stop it," Mr. Fell cut him off. "This is (Y/n). I am reading over a paper that they wrote for school."
"Why?"
"Because it's kind," he turned back to me. "(Y/n), this is... Anthony."
"Nice to meet you," I nodded to Anthony.
"Yeah, you too," he muttered, barely paying me any mind as he spoke to Mr. Fell. "We need to talk."
"I am busy-"
"Do I look like I care?"
"I can come back later," I spoke up.
"No, no, please, I promised to read your paper," Mr. Fell stopped me. "Anthony will simply have to wait."
"Excuse me," Anthony snapped.
"You heard me perfectly well," Mr. Fell mumbled. "Please, stay. I'll finish this paper."
Anthony glared at me as Mr. Fell turned around and went back to the table he had been sitting at.
If you had told me that day that the little bookshop was going to become such a place of comfort for me, then I am not sure that I would have believed you.
But it did.
I continued going to that little shop whenever I had the time. I would study, read, or just help with whatever I could help with. Mr. Fell was not a fan of me doing "so much" work around the shop, but I insisted. He had given me a safe space. The least that I could do was help him maintain it.
I grew closer to him as time went on. I even grew closer to Anthony.
Or Crowley, as I soon learned.
I still chuckled from time to time over how they told me their real names. I had been sitting at the table, scribbling notes for one of my courses.
They both stood in front of me silently until I noticed them. I raised an eyebrow at them. That's when they confessed that their names were fake.
When they told me their real names, I felt bad for chuckling. They both looked a bit confused.
"I'm sorry, but... your fake name just used your real name as a last name," I pointed to Crowley and then to Aziraphale. "And yours was your real name with a couple of letters taken out."
"Alright, we get it," Crowley grumbled.
"Thank you for telling me," I added. "I mean it."
"You're welcome," Aziraphale replied. Crowley didn't say the same until Aziraphale looked over at him with a somewhat grumpy look.
The three of us were only closer after that.
It was nice. Having that small support group that I could turn to.
Aziraphale was always ready to help. As soon as I opened the door of the shop, he was ready for whatever assistance I asked for. A hug, an extra set of eyes on an assignment, a quiet place to read a new book.
Crowley acted cold, but I could tell that he cared.
I came in one day with one of the worst headaches I had ever experienced. Aziraphale was gone, but Crowley had been waiting for him. I walked into the building with the heels of my hands pressed into my eyes. After grumpily explaining what was happening, I walked off to put my bag down and hide in the corner.
He waited for a moment before following me.
"Come here," he said.
"What," I asked.
"Come here," he repeated, holding his arms open.
I kept my eyebrows furrowed as I stepped forward. Once I was close enough to him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me forward into a hug.
"Oh," I mumbled before slowly hugging him back. "This is nice."
"Don't call me that."
I chuckled. "I didn't call you nice."
"Oh...," he muttered. "Well... don't get any clever ideas."
"Yeah, sure, whatever you want, Crowley."
I closed my eyes for a minute, holding onto him a little tighter.
I don't know what happened, but I could feel my headache slowly fading away as we hugged. It felt like it was there one minute and gone the next. I let out a sharp breath when it was gone. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my head.
"Thank you," I said after a while.
"Yeah, whatever."
That may have been the closest I ever got to a you're welcome with him and I was okay with that. For the time being.
I don't know if I truly realized how much Crowley and Aziraphale cared for me until I walked in crying.
I felt like a child. I was crying as I walked down the sidewalk.
When I made it to the shop, I almost sprinted inside.
Aziraphale jumped at the force I used to open the door. Any scolding died as soon as he saw me.
"Oh, dear," he muttered, walking over to me. "What happened to you?"
He pulled me into a hug as I cried. I hid my face in his shoulder, clinging to his suit a bit as I did. I saw Crowley walk out from around the corner.
"What's going on," he asked.
I stepped back. I went to speak but nothing came out.
"Come on," Aziraphale guided me to my normal corner, guiding me to sit down. I dropped my bag on the floor and wiped my eyes. "Take your time."
Crowley sat in the spot next to me while Aziraphale stayed standing.
"There's... There's this guy," I explained. "I... We were seeing each other for a little while. We went on a few dates. I thought... I thought it was going well. And then, he just... changed. And he sent me this."
I tossed my unlocked phone on the table. Aziraphale grabbed it first. I heard a disgusted sound escape him.
"That is just... despicable," he muttered, placing the phone down.
Crowley reached out and grabbed the phone. I saw his face twist in disgust as a reaction.
"I think he sounds like a waste of time," he said as he placed my phone down. "It's stupid to waste an ounce more of your time on him."
"Crowley!" Aziraphale was fast to scold him.
"What?"
"Now is not the time to insult (Y/n) about their relationship!"
"I'm not! I'm only insulting them if they decide to spend any more time on this person. What I did was just an example of bluntness."
Aziraphale gave Crowley a look before turning back to me with a soft grin. "I am going to make you some tea. You just relax. And Crowley..."
Crowley smirked at him, an eyebrow raised.
"Be nice."
"I am not nice."
"Well, maybe now is a good time to try."
Aziraphale turned around and walked away from the pair of us.
There was a pause between the pair of us before I could speak up.
"Do you actually think that I'm stupid for wasting time on this guy," I asked quietly.
Crowley let out a sigh as he sat up a little bit straighter, tilting his head so he was looking me in the eye. "Not as stupid as he was for leaving you."
I felt a grin form on my face. He leaned over and kissed my head before standing up.
"I'm going to get you something a little stronger than tea."
"I don't drink-"
"And I clearly meant chocolate."
I chuckled and shook my head. "Thank you, Crowley."
"You're welcome."
He walked out of the little nook in the corner.
As he did, I leaned my head on my folded arms on the table. I felt my eyes slowly shutting. I felt bad because of what the pair were off doing, but I couldn't help it. It had just been such a long day. I couldn't help it.
As my blinking got slower and slower, I found myself thinking about how lucky I was to be in that situation.
I had never felt as safe as I was when I spent time in that little bookshop.
I would never be able to thank Crowley and Aziraphale for that.
But I would never stop trying to do so.
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#aziraphale imagine#fanfiction#x reader#imagine#good omens imagine#good omens fanfiction#good omens x reader#aziraphale fanfiction#aziraphale x reader#crowley x reader#crowley imagine#crowley fanfiction
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Coming Out
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✮ PARING Bucky Barnes × Trans Male! Reader
✮ WARNINGS/TAGS 40's, catfa! bucky, supportive! bucky, bisexual! bucky, pre-transition reader, gender dysphoria, established relationship, misgendering, coming out(s), anxiety, fluff, unsafe binding, suggestive themes but no smut, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of transphobia, praises
✮ SUMMARY Bucky finds out you're trans amd decides to show his support for you
✮ A/N I haven't written much for my trans men lately, so I wanted to write something again. You can say it's kinda inspired by confessions (another fic of mine), but this goes a little differently. I also wanna add - do NOT use bandages to bind your chest, it is not safe. Please get a binder and if that is not impossible, buy breast tape and use it to flatten your chest down if possible. Please stay safe while binding!!
ao3 masterlist requests
Being Bucky's girlfriend wasn't exactly bad, it was quite the opposite actually. He loved taking you out on dates, he was respectful of your boundaries and he was a gentleman like no other. Not to mention, since he was a Sergeant you felt quite safe around him. No man dared to lay his hands on you.
You couldn't ask for a better boyfriend and you were happy with him.
But you were scared to tell him how you felt. How you couldn't bare pretending to be someone you were not. Wearing those dresses, not being able to cut your hair as short as you wanted, calling yourself the name that didn't feel like yours anymore.
You were dying to tell him, but at the same time you were scared he might break up with you or worse. You knew James was not a bad man, he was pretty accepting, but it didn't stop your worries.
After a long day at work, you saw him waiting outside the Cafe with the biggest grin on his face. “Hey, doll.” He greeted you as you exited through the door.
“Someone looks happy. Something happened?” You asked with a hint of teasing to your tone as you walked over to him.
“Can't a man just be happy to see his beautiful, amazing girlfriend?” He asked, taking your hand and giving your knuckles a soft, sweet kiss.
You had to stop yourself from grimacing at the word ‘girlfriend’, but you managed. Maybe because he was being so sweet towards you.
“Planning on taking me somewhere?” You asked, trying to change the subject in case you were going to hear more comments that, despite being made in good faith, were making you uncomfortable.
“I was thinking we could go to my place, maybe cuddle.” He shrugged before wrapping his arm around your waist.
“Just cuddle? Or are you going to make me get into Hobbit?” You asked with a small grin as you started walking towards Bucky's house.
“Oh come on.” He let out a playful whine. “It's a good book. Trust me, I'll get you into it eventually.”
“Keep on trying.”
Bucky’s place wasn’t far and almost as soon as the two of you got there, he got into the bed and pulled you on top of him. And there you were, on top of shirtless Bucky who couldn't get his hands off of you.
“I can't get enough of you.” Bucky murmured, his hands going up and down the soft flesh of your thighs. He bit down on his bottom lip, you were the most gorgeous thing in his eyes.
You let out a soft chuckle at his words, and he smiled at that. It was always so nice to be around him, he was able to make you smile and laugh like no other.
“Let’s get you out of that, hmm?” He hummed, while relaxed enough you forgot about one little, tiny but very important detail.
He started taking the dress off you, and then he saw it. His eyes widened as he saw your chest. Tightly bandaged around your chest, making it flatter than it was normally. His eyes held worry for you, did someone hurt? Did something happen to you?
“Are you hurt?” He sat up a little as he asked the question. He wanted to touch your chest, but he was worried he would hurt you.
You look down at your chest, before trying to cover yourself up. He wasn’t supposed to find out, at least not now. At the moment, under his gaze all you could feel was shame. All you could think about was that he was going to break up with you.
With your heart already pounding in your chest, you started getting off of him in a hurried way. Bucky immediately picked up your panic and he grabbed your wrist. Tightly enough to not let you slip out, but not enough to make it hurt.
“Hey, hey…” His voice was a little more gentle now, hushed. His thumb was gently caressing your wrist. “I am worried about you. Did something happen? You aren’t hurt, are you?” His eyes flickered down to the bandages, looking for any blood stains. But there was none, just the clean bandage, carefully wrapped around your chest.
“You… You promise you won’t throw me out…?”
His eyes widened once more. Throw you out? You?
"Darlin’, I could never. Why would I ever throw you out?” He couldn't understand why you would think like that.
With a shaky sigh and tears in your eyes, you laid down next to him. Bucky laid back on the back, staying quiet and letting you find the right words.
“I-I don’t feel… good about my body.” You mumbled out, your voice shaky. Bucky saw that you weren’t okay, but decided not to interrupt you. He gently grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze as if encouraging you to talk without saying so out loud.
“I d-don’t feel like a woman, alright?” Your voice was even more shaky. Before you knew it, you started sobbing quietly, overwhelmed by the confession you made. “I want to be a man like you. I want to be seen as a man, dress like a man, look like a man. I just want to be me.”
Without a second thought, Bucky wrapped his arms around you, pulling close against his chest. One of his hands caressed your back, hoping to comfort you.
He was quiet, lost in his thoughts before he finally spoke up. “I heard there’s a man… Well, a woman actually, who had the same problem as you. She was born as a man, but she didn’t feel like one, so she decided to stop pretending who she was and now she’s just… herself.”
“Really?”
Bucky hummed. “Yeah. I think we saw her last week, you said she had a nice dress. I think her name was Annie or something along those lines.”
You didn’t know there was another person like you out there. You felt so isolated in your own experience, you didn’t notice others who were able to understand you. Understand what you were going through.
“Are you… are you going to break up with me?” You asked as quietly as you could, you were terrified to hear a positive answer.
Bucky pulled back to look at your tear-stained face. He gently cupped it, making you look into his eyes as he smiled at you. “Never, love. I love you so much. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. You’re my boyfriend, okay?” He kissed your forehead.
Boyfriend.
You were waiting so long to hear something like that and it felt so damn good to finally hear it.
Bucky let go of you and left the bed. “Where are you going?” You asked, not understanding what he wanted to do.
“I think I have something you might wanna wear instead of that dress. No matter how pretty it is.” He teased you a little, but his words held no malice. They were quite affectionate, actually.
He walked back to you with a simple shirt and a pair of pants. “What do you think, huh? Enough to your liking? Or would my baby like a suit more, hmm?” He had a smile on his face, almost as if excited about this whole thing.
You were so worried he might be disgusted with you and yet there he was, smiling at you after you told him.
“They'll be fine. Thank you, James.” Your soft answer made his heart skip a beat.
“No problem. What kind of partner would I be if I left all by yourself when you're struggling so hard?” He gave your forehead a small kiss. “You're stuck with me, doll.”
He put the clothes down on the bed, his eyes wandering to your chest once more. He let out a sigh, his expression more serious than before.
“As much as I want to support you, you can't be wearing those. It's definitely not safe.”
“I know, I just wanted my chest to be flatter.” You explained, with a small hint of desperation in your voice.
“I know, I know. Listen, we will find a way to help you, okay?” His voice was soft, almost as if he was worried he might not express his concern properly. He wanted to support you, but he was still worried about your safety.
“We will find a safer alternative. As much as I believe you meant no harm, I just can tell your ribs will not be happy if you keep bandaging yourself for longer than just a day.” He continued, his eyes not leaving yours.
His hand moved to your cheek and he smiled at you. “You're not alone and you won't be as long as I am here. With me, you can be yourself. I will do what I can to help you.”
You nodded before giving him a tight hug. “Thank you so much.” Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around you before letting go.
“Go on.” He encouraged as he gestured towards the clothes. “I know you're dying to try them on.”
You let out an excited giggle, taking the clothes into your hand and making your way to the bathroom, almost tripping over as you did.
“Careful. We don't need you all bruised, do we?” Bucky commented with a small smirk before letting out a small chuckle.
While you disappeared behind a bathroom door, Buck had a little moment to think about the whole situation.
Was he expecting that? No. Should he? Probably.
He wasn't going to break up with you, he was too in love with you to care about your gender. You were still the same person he fell in love with over a year ago.
If anything, he was much more concerned about your safety. He knew there were people who would not be as accepting as he was.
Heck, he still remembered how he was walking the poor Annie home after a few guys jumped her sometime ago. Bucky wasn't going to pretend the thought of something similar happening to you didn't make his stomach turn.
You were safe with him, but on your own? He was scared to find out.
The sound of the door opening took Bucky out of his thoughts. He looked towards it and saw you, dressed in what he gave you, along with your hair being tied in a way that made your hair appear shorter than it actually was.
Bucky let out a low whistle at the sight. “Now that's one hell of a man.” His eyes wandered over you, his smile returning. “Well, well, well. If someone really says my boyfriend isn't the most handsome, we will know they are lying.”
His smile widened when he saw how happy you were at the praises.
“C'mere, darling. Let me hold my pretty boy.” He patted his lap, inviting you to sit on it.
You eagerly sat down on his lap. “Look at you, so handsome.” His hand moved to gently grab your chin so he could look at your face.
“You think so?” You asked a little more shyly, as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Absolutely. Now I wonder how you would look in a suit.” He bit his lip once more. “I bet you would look good. Like really, really good.” He moved to leave a few kisses down your neck.
“Okay, okay. I get it. Enough praises.” You giggled at the feeling of his soft lips against your neck.
“Enough? You don't like my praises? I am wounded.” He pulled back and mocked, pretending to be hurt by your words.
His eyes wandered over you once more. It was nice to see you like this, visibly happier and more confident than before.
“You know… handsome,” He murmured, his smile falling once more. At first he wanted to call you by the name he was used to calling you, but after what you told him, he thought against it. “As much as I want to support you, I need you to be careful, okay? I am not telling you to not start pressing yours in a more masculine way, of course, you do you. I worry someone might hurt you for trying to be yourself.”
You nodded quietly. World was not as pleasant of a place for those who were sticking out, purposely or not. “I know, Buck. But I don't wanna pretend to be someone I am not.”
Bucky let out a quiet sigh. He expected that kind of answer. “I know, doll. I know.” He moved closer to you, his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. “I will do what I can to protect you from harm's way. We will find a way for you to be yourself safely, okay?”
You hummed with a soft nod. “Gonna find me a good hairstylist?” You asked with a small smile, hoping to lighten up the mood.
He let out a snort at your words. “Definitely. If I wasn't worried I might leave with an uneven haircut, I would do it myself.” He chuckled. “But I think I might know a safe place where you can get a haircut. I mean, I have a friend who owns a nice, small hairdressing salon. I heard from a friend that he doesn't mind people from the community unlike some.”
You let out a hum before you smirked a little. “You have contacts with the community? I don't know about something?” You teased him lightly.
“What can I say? Women are pretty, but some men are also eye-catchers.” He winked at you. “But seriously, I will talk to him if you want to.”
You nodded once more. “It means a lot, James. Thank you.”
“It's no problem, love.”
#marvel#marvel x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x trans reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x male reader#bucky barnes x trans male reader#bucky barnes x ftm reader#ftm reader#trans male reader
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dd858276eff285dd81b97dee89257e4b/a794888a6986603d-7c/s540x810/b3ce5e3d46799d16a9ac8467552e333282d18071.jpg)
Nardo as a human! He goofy. (I REMEMBERED TO FLIP THE CANVAS SO IT’S NOT TOTAL HORSESHIT) Mikey
Design notes under the cut!
Once again all the poses (and some of the outfits this time) are supposed to call back to scenes in the show/movie. It’s allllll references here.
I noticed a lot of designs make Leo the whitest? I think it’s to make him look more like splinter, but I didn’t really vibe with that tbh. I did still wanna make him look like Splinter in his Lou Jitsu days, just darker and more of a weirdo (/pos).
I think he’s delusional enough to think that if he straightens, bleaches, and dyes his hair, it won’t come to life and strangle him. Honestly, he’s probably right, if I did that to my hair it’s fall off. His roots are starting to show tho, because I think his brothers would start prying him away from the bleach bottle (slowly but surely). His hair naturally has a lot of volume, with or without it being straightened, cos did you see him in the hidden city?? Man had such intense volume with zero effort (tell me your secrets plssssss).
His default fit is the Adam Sandler, but sometimes he actually looks decent! That’s usually when Donnie steps in and helps him. Help aside, Leo can’t bring himself to stop wearing dorky graphic tees with old 80s action stars. Something he shares with all his brothers ig.
Out of all his brothers, he probably wears the mask the least (you see him without it the most during the show), so I only gave him a bandana (headband?) in one drawing.
He’s what you call a port wine stain baby (also, google doesn’t have nearly enough reference images of birthmarks on dark skin), but he also has vitiligo on his arms and legs. This is all to look like his dumb little stripes (/pos).
His gloves and boots are supposed to look like his pre-ninpo design (kinda obvious but yk).
Binder bc you can pry my transmasc Leo headcanon from my cold, dead, hands.
I gave him like… weird long and pointy fingers and I’m only noticing now?? How did I not see this before? He also has rings with that one pose because he seems like the type to subtly accessorise with small matching jewellery, as opposed to Mikey who’s just everything all at once.
If you’re from the previous part and wondering where his friendship bracelet is, he keeps it on the hilt of his katana. Just cos.
He definitely had an emo phase and that’s probably when he got his piercings done.
Okay baiiii
#artists on tumblr#art#character art#digital art#digital artist#my art#original art#artwork#queer artist#small artist#rottmnt human designs#rottmnt art#rottmnt au#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#rottmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rottmnt#rise tmnt#rise of tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rise of the turtles#save rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#leonardo hamato#tmnt leonardo#human design
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i know people rag on gc2b but. i don't really get why? i have like 5 underworks binders of various size and model and none of them bind well on me and roll up constantly. gc2b requires adjustment every now and then but that's normal for any garment. but binders with a stiffened front panel are binding, all stretch with no solid panel just acts like a shitty sports bra. i don't get it. half convinced people just say shit because they got One with mid stitching and decided all of their product must be just like that, and that underworks must have superior binding because they make things for cis men. which i don't think is true for comfort or binding.
I don't honestly know either- I haven't bought a binder for about 3 years and before that for another 3 or 4, so I can only say that it was a recent development that I see people complaining about the quality of gc2b. They've always worked for me but yes, they do fall apart after a while. When I started binding, it was a known thing that you would be replacing your binder yearly, and maybe if you took very good care of your binder you could get away with every 2-3, with specific care notes on how to make your binders last longer. It does make me wonder if somewhere we lost track of that.
I do know some of the people complaining about gc2b are well outside of the sizes the company makes their clothes in. This is a fair complaint in my mind because I am not a particularly big person (and my doctor called me obese at my last weight check due to BMI) and I am already in the XXL/XXXL range. I do think that a restructuring of sizing and also offering larger sizing should happen. And I again wonder if that is part of the problem- people squeezing themselves into a binder that is inherently too small for them is absolutely going to wear that binder out way quicker.
Another complaint I've seen is that they don't bind well enough for the particularly well endowed. I have fairly medium sized breasts myself so I can't speak to that on personal experience, but I do have a friend who is at the top end of gc2b's range who has breasts that are both larger and saggier than mine and he is quite satisfied with his binding experience. That being said, anyone larger than him would be SOL, so again, it does sound like there is a significant sizing problem.
I do have a friend who prefers the old style of underworks which had a binding front panel the full length of the garment, which has since been deemed unsafe and discontinued en mass for most binder companies. He had a dysphoria related panic attack meltdown the first time he put on a gc2b because the front panel being only chest-length felt far too much like a bra to him. He has fairly significant chest dysphoria and he also has been binding since he started growing breasts during puberty, and is significantly older than me, so I've long chalked that up to different world and dysphoria. He has since gotten used to the gc2b style and still wears them, but it was quite startling for him.
If I weren't having top surgery hopefully soon, I would still be buying gc2b, and when I buy binders for trans guys starting out I buy from that company unless they tell me a different company preference. Like I offered to buy someone a shapeshifters a few months ago because he was saying that he wouldn't fit a gc2b and wanted to bind and had a specific binder in mind. But otherwise if someone who I know fits in their size range asks, I still refer people to that company, because I and my friends have not had problems.
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Okay so I, myself, is trans masc and have bad body dysphoria. If it’s alright with you could I ask for something with Alastor and the reader cuddling or something with fluff along the lines of being overly sensitive about what they look like and such? If you’re not comfortable with that then something with angst (I love angst) with Alastor and male reader?
HERE YOU GO LOVE
I hope you like it I did put a bit of angst in it since you said you liked it🫡
Ok Alastor might be a bit OOC but like😎
Warnings: body dysphoria
Handsome boy
(Alastor x trans male reader)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7d0af503ee2dab84c19281c27418d84d/c331ffd046d554fd-b3/s540x810/0cc5c89c33f4cdc0ea546db237ddd0013fc2d515.jpg)
Here you were again. Staring at your reflection in the mirror. You did this almost every day.
You hated your body, since it wasn't even yours. You truly didn't want to look at it, you were struggling to tear your eyes away. You just hated it so much. You just wanted to take the scissors and cut off everything that shouldn't be there.
Being born in a body that was never yours. It was like prison.
The tears started rolling down your cheeks. This was nothing new to you. crying was almost a daily routine at this point.
"Dear, are you ready to go?"
You heard the static voice of your boyfriend from the other side of the door.
"Shit" you whispered to yourself as you hurriedly went to put on your binder but thats not so easy.
You were staring hatefully at your body for too long apparently.
You were struggling to put on your binder when Alastor opened the door. The moment he entered you got it on but it was of no use. He has seen it. The prison you were born in.
He was standing there in the door. The smile fell from his face.
"Darling?" He asked.
"...please leave." You managed to whisper.
You never told him. You were scared that he would leave you.
However even though you never said it directly he knew. He knew because he had the tendency to over analyze everyone and so after some time he figured it out.
He knew the basic concept of being trans. He worked in the radio business after all he has met trans people. However the moment he noticed that you, his lovely boyfriend, were born as the gender which you aren't he started to get deeper into the subject.
He learned everything that is about transitioning, body dysphoria and most importantly, how to help with these.
Alastor surprised himself truly, he has never done this much for someone, but you, you were so important to him. He has never loved anyone as much as he loves you (perhaps his mother).
Alastor always believed that what a person looked like or presented themselves as had nothing to do with their value or personality, in fact he found the whole idea of connecting looks to self worth foolish. Male, female, neither, both it didn't matter to him much.
"My love" he proceeded to walk over to your kneeling form.
"Can my lovely boyfriend look at me" he said as without the static in his voice.
This got your attention and you looked up at him, he was wearing a small smile, not his usual grin, a smile that said: everything is ok.
Your eyes were red from crying as you looked up at him. The moment he noticed that his eyebrows wrinkled.
"Oh, dear, we cannot have that" he said at last as he lifted you off the ground (with the help of a little magic lets face it the man is a twig) and sat down with you in his lap on your bed.
"My darling, you do know I love you, yes?" He asked.
You hesitantly nodded your head.
"Lovely, then you also know that I love every part of you no matter what, you will be a gorgeous man in my eyes with or without female body parts, hmmm?"
You didn't answer to that.
"Well, now you know. I am aware that what you youngsters call 'body dysphoria' is. A major problem for you do not think I don't know how much you cry."
You looked up at him in shock, you were always so careful to be quiet.
"In fact that is why we were going to go out today I was going to get an answer out of you" he chuckled a bit.
"However, I think perhaps staying in is a better option for tonight?" He looked at you questioningly.
You nodded again.
With that confirmation Alastor hugged you even closer to him and laid down on your bed with you clinging to him.
"My handsome boy." He said
He hugged you and kissed your forehead. He started singing quietly with the static back in his voice, he knew you found it calming.
His singing was lovely, it was slowly luring you to sleep. Before you fell asleep you mumbled a 'thank you' to which he gave another kiss to your forehead as you drifted off, feeling loved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you guys enjoyed (especially u @coffeewithcocoa) I just wanna say as a last word to every trans person out there that remember you deserve love and are worthy of affection.
Love you all have a great morning/night/afternoon💗
#male reader#hazbin x reader#hazbin x you#hazbin hotel x male reader#male y/n#lgbtqia#gay fanfiction#trans man#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor
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What the Heck is the Golden Guard Actually Wearing: A Speculative Guide
So a long while ago, I was talking in a Discord server with a few others about what Hunter's GG uniform might actually be composed of, since apparently a lot of the fandom seems to interpret it as a kind of tunic. With the finale of the show sending us all into tears, I thought I'd take a break from the heartache and explain my theories.
(This might be long, so I'll put pictures in when I can)
So to start with, let's actually begin not with his uniform, but what's underneath it, as seen above.
(So scary, truly)
Now, while some people headcanoned this as a binder (and I'm not one to bash on people's ideas), I think it's actually a kind of brigandine!
(Note the length, the buckles going down the front, and the leather straps going over the shoulders)
This was a kind of armor that knights or soldiers wore, composed of strips of metal fastened between two pieces of heavy cloth or leather to make a vest. It was handy to have because it was fairly durable and lightweight, and offered decent protection without needing all the fancy welding required for full-plate armor.
It was worn on top of a tunic (like he does in the photo), and was usually sleeveless, though it sometimes could come with arm and shoulder protection.
Now, I confess, a brigandine wouldn't normally be worn under armor (too many layers and padding), but that leads us to Hunter's actual uniform!
(Angry cat / big brother energy intensifies)
So while the cloak and pin are common enough that even most civilians in medieval times wore them, this isn't one solid tunic piece -- it's plate mail!
Now, to get the basics out of the way, that little shoulder guard he's wearing is called a pauldron, and was used to keep your opposing, non-dominant side safe when jousting. Knights would normally only wear one, as two would be cumbersome, and holding your lance under one was uncomfortable and impractical.
(It also makes an adequate perch for little bird palismen)
That duller yellow color Hunter wears is the undershirt knights would wear under their armor (for extra padding against chafing and some extra protection). While this historically would be a gamberson (or aketon, depends on who you ask), a thick, quilted fabric shirt, it'd be too bulky for the plate mail he's wearing, amidst other things.
Instead, he might be wearing an arming shirt!
Also referred to as an arming doublet (again, depends on who you ask), these were made later as a thin kind of form-fitting shirt that was more flexible and allowed for ease of motion when wearing armor. Sometimes chain mail was sewn into more vulnerable areas for coverage, like between the legs and the armpits (like you can kinda see in the first pic).
(Also, take notice of the higher sides of the collar, which you can also see under Hunter's cape)
The brighter gold armor he wears is, from what I can tell, not full plate mail, but a kind of cuirass!
These were chest plates that covered both the front and back of a knight without needing all the extras of armor, and could be worn with an arming shirt or chainmail.
They also usually came with hip guards -- those little strips by his pelvis -- and were special attachments called faulds, useful for keeping those areas safe without making things too bulky.
And there you have it! Hope this helps with your art and writing, and thus concluding
✨Weird History With Fable✨
#TOH#The Owl House#TOH Hunter#Hunter Wittebane#Golden Guard#The Golden Guard#GIF#(People kept calling his armor a tunic and it Bugged Me)#(So here I am with some history and explanation)
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Just Relax (It's Not That Serious)
The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping | Cont'd from Part 13
Content: drugging, noncon undressing, dissociation, (fear of) needles, disabled whumpee, trans whumpee, flashbacks (ptsd), tied up/handcuffs, past captivity references, begging, fear, light unreality? (related to the ptsd)
* * * * * * * *
Excerpt from: The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping; a self-help guide for villains and bounty-hunters
[The first 72 hours after a hero’s capture is also massively critical to you, villain, as your hero’s keeper! When planning on long-term hero-keeping, use this time to lie low, keep your hero firmly in your grasp, and really set the mood for the rest of their stay. Set non-negotiable expectations. Show your patience. For as much as your hero may fight you, curse and jeer and scorn and defy you, they will still be only human (with select power exceptions, of course). They will still need food, water, shelter. All of which must be obtained from you, their captor! You are the one ultimately in control, no matter how much the hero may scream otherwise.
So why are these first 72 hours so important? Well, how long do experts generally agree that a person can survive without food or water? How long can they ignore you? How long before they have to rely on you for their every need?
72 hours.
Be patient.
Make them count.]
* * * * * * * *
“Finally, Christ,” Deeby muttered under his breath as Stan finished forcing the bar down his throat. It had taken him longer than he'd meant, what with the dehydration and the not wanting to be drugged and the weary pain that seeped into his every bone and the spinning of the room and the not wanting to be drugged. It was a surprisingly difficult task to knowingly poison himself. Who’d've thunk?
“Happy?” Stan finally spat with a heaving breath. There was the slightest taste of salt and battery acid twinging the back of his mouth. It made him nauseous.
Deeby absent-mindedly grabbed the used protein bar wrapper and tossed it into his plastic bag. “Yeah. Not done yet, though.”
Stan whined. It was all he could do to not start crying on the spot. “Why can't you just let me fall into unconsciousness in peace? I ate your stupid protein bar! It's-it's never-ending with you!”
“Well, it feels less gross to have you undress now than when you're high off your ass.”
Stan blinked. It was like the world had been overlaid with TV static for a moment. But he was back. Violently. Because what? “Ah– Co-come again?”
“Your uh– fuckin’... What's it called, your tank top? The transgender tank top, the one that squishes your ribs. Your… ‘tranksgender’ top.”
“My binder?”
Deeby snapped his fingers in triumph. “That's the bitch! We're taking that off now.”
“WHAT?!”
“I can help if you want. I don’t know how long it's gonna take the drug to start affecting you, considering you haven’t eaten in two days, so it might not–”
“I’m not taking my binder off!” Stan yelled, startling back from yet another all-consuming dip into the static. The worst part was, it wasn't even unpleasant. He almost would have enjoyed it, save for the predator six feet away stalking at him as if he were a wounded antelope, one hand resting on the ornate knife holstered right next to his gun. His eyes sparkled with that ever-dangerous red excitement that Stan had become painfully acquainted with again and again and again over the past two days, though there was something more serious underneath the child-like sadism. Tired eyes, deep breaths...
“I know you're not supposed to wear it for this long, runt.” The mercenary brushed the still bright-red gash on his cheek from where Stan had whacked him with the handcuffs. “And besides, I still need to get you back for this. Please make me do it the hard way.”
Stan’s breath caught between a groan and a cry and his vision swam around him, only grounded by the sudden noxious pit in his stomach. “Dee-deeby…” he panted. “Stay away from me.”
Deeby continued to stalk closer, voice taking that dangerous low twang, the light bass growl snaking through the room and slithering around Stan’s throat, suffocating him more than a literal yank by his damn collar would. “Aw…” he tutted. “That's no fun, is it chiquito? I think you just need–”
“OKAY, OKAY!” Stan skittered back, pressing himself into the wall with racing heart and rabbit-fast breath. “I'll-I'll do it, I'll do it! You don't– You–... I'll take off my binder…”
That did, in fact, stop Deeby dead in his tracks. Stan swayed. Deeby looked at him expectantly. Stan stared into the distance. Deeby raised an eyebrow and made an impatient circular motion at Stan with his hands: get moving.
The static.
“Runt, if you don’t–”
“I– jus– ju-just-just don't touch me–”
“Stan–” Deeby warned, taking a single step toward him. All the air sucked out of the room. “I'm done giving you chances. Off. Now, or I'll do it.”
Stan grit his teeth with an almost mewling whine. His cheeks burned a bright red embarrassment under near-invisible blue freckles, and his very lungs stuttered as they tried to figure out if he wanted to scream or just cry. He started to pulled the shirt over his head, slowly, as if he could go slow enough that the bounty hunter would just get bored and give up entirely.
Ha.
Then he lost his way. He searched. More fabric. Where did the holes go? Where was he? He was lost! He tangled his arms around, searching, growling with frustration as he unsuccessfully tried to free himself, genuinely trapped as time simultaneously moved way too fast and excruciatingly slow. Then a whoosh, and his cotton-polyester prison disappeared, pulled off over his head to reveal a very amused Deeby glinting back at him, eyes sparkling as always.
It was so cold in here.
Stan shoved him away, thankfully braced against the wall or else he might have fallen over himself. The world was so… tilted.
“Turn-turn around,” Stan ordered, blinking hard to keep himself present.
“What, no ‘thank you?’”
“Turn around!”
“Not turning around, bud.”
“Please, I don-don’t– don’t want you to-to see– to–...Turn around!”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Please! Deeby, I’m begging!”
“Not happenin’,” he sang, deadpan as ever.
“I thought you-you-you-ou said you weren't gugh-guh-gon-gonna–...” Stan shivered and took a deep breath. This stutter was driving him insane. “Tha-at you weren't a perv!”
“I'm not. I'm not gonna do anything except make sure you're not trying to pull some shit.”
“I won’t! I'm drugged! I-I can’t even take my shirt off!”
“All the more reason–”
“Declan!” Stan pleaded, pupils blown out and wide, tension at the top of his mouth so tight he was sure he was about to start bawling. “I care. I care-are-re. I don’t wan-want you–... Please…”
His voice turned high and quiet, tears burning to fall, pressure building up behind his eyes and ready to burst.
“Plea-ease…”
Declan closed his eyes and pinched at the bridge of his nose. Another tired deep breath.
“Turn yourself around if you care so much,” he muttered. The knife appeared in his hands, point pressed into the taut fabric on Stan's chest. “I'm done playing games. Stop stalling. Now.”
“I’m no-ot–”
The mercenary grabbed the strap of Stan’s binder and yanked him forward, barely pulling the knife out of the way in time for Stan to not fall on top of it and instead sending him hurtling into the man’s chest with a blood-curdling screech, then flailing and shoving off of the captor as hard as humanly possible. The push mixed with a sudden heavy fog bank engulfing his mind mixed with a painful misstep on his bad leg caused him to all but crumble to the freezing concrete floor in a heap, chin banged and bleeding and dripping and staining on the ground as his face pressing into scratchy dirt particles, as he laid there confused and scared and scrambling, just trying to figure out how to silence the roaring confusion of his mind as it blindly panicked in the pressing, buzzing fog that surrounded it. Threatened to swallow him whole.
Then a force grasped him by the back of his neck. Then a knee planted into the base of his spine. The full body weight of a man at least twice his size ground into his lower vertebrates, seemingly trying to press them straight through the soft flesh of his stomach into the unforgiving floor.
Stan screamed.
Was Deeby going back on his promise not to–
GET OFF!!
His binder, he couldn't let Declan take it off.
OWOWOWOWOW– NO NONONO–
The fog the fog the fog the fog the fog the fog buzzing buzzing buzzing buzzing BZZZZZZZZZZ–
A gloved hand pressed him into the floor by the back of his neck. Others in scratchy black tactical gear held his flailing limbs down. He strained. He cried. He screamed. He screamed so loud. So loud his throat was sore. They didn’t let up.
He wanted his mom. His dad. His sister. COME HELP!! Where were they? He cried out for them, heaving sobs. Unheeded.
“DEEBY!” He screeched, feet kicking out as if they could somehow free himself if he just kicked hard enough. “Get off! GET OFF! You're not taking my binder off–!”
“Mhm, yeah, sure bud,” Deeby mumbled as Stan continued his tantrum. His fingers squeezed slightly at either side of Stan’s neck. Warning. Patient. Waiting. He was waiting him out. Stan's head spun as if filled with angry bees, cries becoming weaker, fighting more and more sluggish as Deeby just sat on top of him.
Where was his sister? Where was Chloe?! CHLOE!! He needed to protect her! That was his only task! Protect her! He’d failed, he’d failed, he needed to save her, save them, get away. Every time he raged and strained and screamed another hand just came to pin him to the dusty ground. He was an animal thrashing around in a cage, a trap that only tightened around his throat the more he struggled.
“DEEBY– Deeby… Declan, Deeb– please get off, please, I need to save her, I don't– I just– can't–... ple-ee-ea-ease…”
Deeby didn't say anything. Was it the drug that made him feel like he was floating on air as a pressure chamber simultaneously caged in his skull, teasing it to shatter? Or maybe the hyperventilating as he realized there was no escape. Or maybe the gutting hunger, or the throat squeezing thirst, or the burning panic, or the bone-deep exhaustion, or the pain, the pain, make it stop, all-encompassing, never-ending, or the violent shaking from lack of oxygen, or any number of the many other things that were wrong with him. Maybe all of them. His limbs lay stiff, as if held down by lead weights. His protests devolved into barely a whimpering whisper. He couldn't breathe. Not with the bounty hunter on top of him pressing his stomach into the floor, not with the probably broken ribs, not with the binder pressing into the swelling of his ribs and making every intake of air a monumentally agonizing feat achieved less and less each time…
“God, shut her up, I’m not dealing with this in the transport.”
“Really? It’s just a kid.”
“Unless you’d rather I shut her up myself.”
NO NO NO ESCAPE ESCAPE HE NEEDED TO FIND HIS FAMILY–
A tiny little prick on his upper arm. He screamed. Screamed until he couldn’t anymore, screamed because he couldn’t do anything else, screamed until one of the gloved hands slapped over his mouth and stayed there until he quieted, and then he couldn’t even scream. It stayed there until tears soaked through the course fabric. The edges of his vision started to go dark.
“That’s it kid, shut up, go to sleep. Don’t struggle. It’ll be easier if you just relax.”
His head fell limp against the dirty ground.
He was gonna die here, wasn't he?
Yeah.
Made sense.
He let his head lie down on the floor.
He lurched with silent sobs.
He couldn't do this anymore.
He couldn't.
This was all pointless.
He was done.
And he went limp.
“There ya go. Attaboy.”
Deeby's voice came from above him. Slow, comforting, praising, as if he were speaking from a thousand miles away.
“Attagirl…” The last voice he heard. The last time he saw his childhood home. The last time he saw his parents. The end of his first fight for his life. Failed.
The black consumed him.
Stan let out something between a whine and a sob. The mercenary took just a moment to readjust, legs now caging him in and pushing inward on either side of Stan's hips. “Yeah okay, whatever runt. Let’s just get this done.”
Deeby's fingers probed under the binder for a moment, causing Stan to squirm anew purely on instinct. Until he hit a particularly nasty bruise. An electrical storm webbed through his ribcage. A flash of white. Stan yelped a cut-off, strangled squeal, a sound he prayed he’d never have to hear again.
“Sorry…” muttered above him. His binder flipped upward and over itself, a brief squeeze, the fabric pulling lightly at his skin, his arms, his hair, then pressure relieved.
Breathe in…
Holy fuck, he was alive!
Stan gulped in the first deep breath he'd taken in what felt like years, gasping and desperate and a full, deep breath. His senses sharpened. Kinda. He still sat pinned within a sea of cotton, the static that blanketed the clouds, limbs heavy, mind slow. But he could breathe! He almost remembered that he only felt like this because Deeby forcibly stripped him. That bitch.
“Holy shit,” the bounty hunter whispered quietly, amazed, almost inaudible. A moment of breath-taking clarity as adrenaline shot through Stan’s system for one last, final hurrah. Holy shit?
“Wh-what, what–?” He tried unsuccessfully to turn around and see. He even managed to convince himself that he didn't care that his tits were basically out, right before he flopped face-first into the ground again. This drug worked miracles.
Declan paused for a moment. Then: “Ah… Nothing, nothing, just, your ribs are much worse off than I thought. Bruised to shit…”
Stan laughed. Really? Bruised to shit? Who could have guessed? The burning anger and hatred and desperation he expected to feel, that he'd been fighting nonstop for two or three or however-the-hell many days straight? It was now buried under layers of static and sand and that lovely familiar darkness which pressed everything that made him himself to somewhere deep in the darkest recesses of his brain, unnoticed in the rolling fog. Though the knot in his throat that made him want to burst out crying still persisted. That was weird. What did he have to cry about? “Yeah… maybe you should… not… Aheh, uh, throw me… to–... walls anymore…” he giggled. He was pretty sure at least. That’s what his voice sounded like, right?
His limbs were so heavy. He might not be able to move them if he tried. Not that he wanted to. What if he just went to sleep right here?
Ah shit, he didn't have a shirt on still.
But like, who even cared anymore? The mercenary would take what he wanted, including Stan’s shirt, including his binder. He could take everything from him. Take his freedom, take his personhood, take any slight chance at happiness or have a normal family that wasn’t shattered to pieces. Shoot him with that pretty old gun, take his life entirely. Come back again and again just to make sure Stan never saw the light of day again. Who even cared if he saw Stan’s chest? Who even cared if this was one of the most humiliating things to ever happen to him? He shouldn’t fight so hard. He wouldn't be pinned face down to the floor and chained up and drugged if he just stopped fighting. This was fine. He felt fine. He liked this.
Keep fighting, rage, rage, escape.
Oh, shut up.
He felt the white overly large shirt being pulled back on over his head a million miles away, something with Eeby-Deeby getting frustrated again and his arms getting roughly shoved through the armholes before Stan could even try to lift his leaden limbs.
Chill out, man. It's fine. It's not that serious.
The way the world swirled around him was almost a comfort now. He was drugged. He knew it, it was just a fact now. The fog and the static and the way he could barely think and the way it was kinda hard to move and the way it took a second to move even if he did actually want to move… That wasn’t really Stan. That was some other guy. He was just drugged. Drugged Stan.
It was nice. Normal Stan was always so wound up about everything. Normal Stan fought so hard to change what couldn’t be changed, made everything so much worse for himself. And for what? He’d always be captured again, always chained up, always poked and prodded and beholden to the will of others, always treated like a petulant, whiny animal that needs to be tamed. Normal Stan couldn’t seem to get that. Normal Stan was those bad thoughts at the edges of his mind, the ones that kept him screaming, running, fighting even when Deeby got up off of him and gave him water which he desperately needed, sweet, sweet, water that relieved the pain and carried all his troubles away like a gently rushing river, cooled his insides of the burning heat and anger. GOD, he forgot how nice water tasted.
It was weird. Eeber-Deeber was almost thoughtful, in his own special way. When you looked past the violence. Stan should be nicer to him, make him not have to violence so much. Maybe then Stan go home! No fight, just go home and see his family… he didn’t really have a home, did he? No… But that was okay, because he still had Marcus and Chloe! He could see them again! That would be nice. Marcus, Chloe. He loved them so much. He needed to protect them. Why was he still here? His Mom and Dad couldn’t protect them, it was his job because they were…
Dead?
Dead.
It was for the best that they were.
It was fine though. It wasn’t that serious.
…
He missed them.
* * * * * * * *
Next
Taglist: @flowersarefreetherapy | @pirefyrelight | @cakeinthevoid | @painsandconfusion | @books-are-everything
@paperprinxe | @tippytappytyping | @chaotic-orphan | @notactuallyluska | @thebestieyoureinlovewith
(If you'd like to be added or subtracted from the taglist, don't be afraid to ask!)
#(un)official guide#whump#whump writing#Got DAMN this took some time to write#The beginning of the end of PART 1#very excited for the scenery change#glad to be back to uploading too#hopefully I'll be able to keep uploading with more regularity now :)#even though schools about to start up and i KNOW thats not gonna happen lol#defiant whumpee#noncon drugging#heroes and villains#whumper#whumpee#hero whump#kidnapping whump#captivity whump#tw recapture#tw flashbacks#tw unreality#also tumblr bugged out and published this an hour and a half before i meant it to#dammit tumblr#fuck it we ball
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Hello, I was wondering if you could do ciel x ftm! Reader, in wich Reader is very dysphoric about their big chest but also likes it a lot.
They get nervous and pick on their chest a lot and when Ciel asks if they want top surgery, reader breaks down because they don't know yet.
Like, they really want to but are also very scared.
Have a good day/night
This sounds so sweet, i struggle with this a lot too so i enjoyed writing about this so much!
Ciel Phantomhive with a big chested ftm reader!
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Being transgender is hard enough, being transgender in the 1800's where you're held to a certain standard is even harder, it's almost impossible for you to feel comfortable in your body especially since you're forced to wear a damn big dress all the time.
Everywhere you went it felt like you were just hiding your true self from everyone, everywhere except for Ciel's manor, you had told your boyfriend that you were trans after you started to trust him with that information and he surprisingly reacted really well! He tried to make you as comfortable as possible and when you are at his manor you don't have to wear those damn dresses, you get to raid his closet and he even orders Sebastian to specially design and make clothes to your liking. Although, being in 1800's, binders or other methods of hiding your chest were not invented yet, part of you didn’t mind, a bigger part of you hated it, you didn’t fully feel comfortable with yourself.
One day you were hanging out in ciel’s manor, he thought you were both having a great conversation but that was then he saw you picking at your chest, again. He always hated it when you did that on the off chance you could hurt yourself and stops you immediately. He had enough of it though and asked if you wanted to have a surgery eventually to get your chest removed.
That made you snap, you never told ciel you actually liked your breasts and did not know if you wanted them off, you started crying, hard and in that moment ciel rushed over to your seat, kneeling to your level so he’s not hovering above you and wipes your tears, asking what’s wrong and ordering Sebastian to get water for you.
You broke down telling ciel how conflicted you were, you liked your breasts, you hated having to be called a girl in public and those breasts being one of the main reasons why. You didn’t know what you wanted to do! Were you going to regret it after it’s done? What if something happens!?
You started mumbling all possibilities that could happen in result of a surgery until ciel cut you off.
“You don’t have to get the surgery if you don’t want to, it’s your body and if you’re not comfortable with taking the risk then you shouldn’t, you are who you are and no matter what body parts you have the only person who can define you is you. If you want to go through with it, I’ll be with you every step of the way. If not, you’re still my boy”
Those words made you feel just a little safer
You didn’t need to know yet, you can just go at your own speed, if you don’t know about surgery, you know one thing, ciel cares about you enough to love you either way.
#black butler x reader#ciel phantomhive#ciel x reader#black butler x male reader#ciel x male reader#oneshot#black butler headcanons#black butler x trans reader#ciel x trans reader#ciel x ftm reader#black butler x ftm reader
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Prof. S Part 5 The End
They took a nap after lunch, which was quite nice, because Viktor was starting to feel the exhaustion from the morning. And being full of salty warm food always made him sleepy. Cuddled up to Silco, in his soft bed, it was a lovely nap.
However when he slept he grew too hot, absently kicking off his pants, rucking his shirt up to his armpits. When he woke up he was lying on his stomach, an arm thrown over Silco’s chest, drooling into a silk pillowcase. He blinked awake, groggy and a little disoriented. But there he was, his daddy, sat up a bit reading a book, small wire frame glasses perched on his nose.
“Daddy so handsome.” Viktor mumbled and poked Silco’s cheek, a small smile on his face. Silco huffed and rolled his eyes, taking his glasses off to really look over at the boy.
“Naughty. I hope you rested well, since you kicked and twisted till you tore your clothes off.” Silco said and looked over Viktor, from the blanket twisted up in his feet all the way up to his face. Viktor yawned and looked down at himself, confused. He then let out a squawk and tried to cover himself up with the blanket.
He forgot that he took off his soaked underwear when they went to lay down, leaving him bare down to his skin when he kicked his pants off. And his shirt was tucked up under his armpits, baring his chest and brace. He was practically nude. His face turned red as he turned away from the older man.
“Why be shy now? Such a pretty thing to see…” Silco said, closing his book, letting his hand slide under the blanket, skimming down Viktor’s back to settle on his ass, giving it a light squeeze. It made Viktor clench up around nothing, whining into the bedding.
“Come on, pet, let’s go take a stroll before dinner. Work up an appetite.” Silco said and gave Viktor’s ass a pat before getting out of bed. Viktor whined a little but sat up, holding the blanket to cover his torso.
“All my clothes are dirty. I only wore my hoodie and some dirty jeans when I got here anyway.” Viktor said shyly, almost embarrassed. Surely the professor wouldn’t want to be seen walking with a messy, unkempt student like him. Especially since he always dressed so nicely.
Silco stretched as he stood beside the bed, arms rising up above his head as he moved toward his armoires, two standing next to each other. He opened on, lined full of shirts and vests.
“I’m sure I can find something to fit you. Come let daddy dress you, kitten.” Silco said and picked up a shirt. Viktor went red faced but felt that giddy tickle in his belly again. Wearing the professor’s clothes… he’d never worn someone else's clothes before.
Viktor couldn’t stop smiling. He was walking beside Silco, his crutch tucked under his arm, looking at all the small shops and restaurants down the mainstreet of downtown. He was wearing his own slip-on shoes but a pair of fine brown slacks with grey pinstripes, a belt keeping them on his hips, a matching jacket, the sleeves only a bit too long, and a black button up underneath, a white undershirt to keep extra warm too. He also blushed when he was given a pair of thick black boxer briefs, a golden pattern on the waistband. It felt kind of strange to wear someone else’s underwear but it was snug and fit, soft and luxurious.
He felt pretty. He had a suit of his own, one he’d gotten at a thrift store, too big and so very hot, but in the nice brown suit that Silco had chosen, he was warm and comfortable. Even without his binder on, the jacket hid away anything he wanted to hide. Silco had said there was no need to wear it.
And the professor looked perfect too. Walking down the street in a maroon vest and a black suit, his hair slicked back and perfect, a patch hiding his eye from the chilly breeze. He walked slowly, easily matching Viktor’s pace, taking it easy.
“Does your leg hurt, sweetie? Do you need to sit down?” Silco asked as they paused outside a small bakery, the smell hanging warmly in the winter air. Viktor nodded, it had been easy to walk and chat with the older man, about the history of downtown, the buildings, everything. But his hip was starting to ache a little.
Silco settled him into a seat before going to the counter to order. Viktor couldn’t help the way he blushed. Everyone who saw them knew. Knew what was going on. That Viktor was Silco’s. His pet. Viktor loved it.
Silco returned with a plate and two cups of something steaming. He set a pastry and a cup in front of Viktor before settling back into his own chair, sipping on his own drink. Viktor looked at the drink. It looked like… cocoa. Hot cocoa. And the pastry was iced lightly and flaky. He was red faced and sunk in his chair. There was a window nearby. He could feel as people looked at them.
“What’s wrong, pet?” Silco asked as he drank his coffee, looking as Viktor delicately picked at his food.
“I feel silly.” Viktor confessed looking up at Silco. He looked amazing in the afternoon light, relaxed and sharply dressed, sipping on his coffee. Like a model on the front of a magazine.
“Hmm, let them stare. I’m used to it. They have no idea what I’m going to do to you when we get home.” Silco said coolly. Viktor only stared at him for a moment before realizing what he was actually saying. When they got home.
Viktor quickly finished his small treat, finding that it did spark his appetite. He was red faced as they left, walking easily back to the apartment. The words kept repeating in his head. What the professor would do to him at home.
Silco hand drifted to rest on his lower back as they got closer to the building, a warm solid weight there, not pushing or rushing, just laying there. Anyone who looked would know.
Viktor was quiet until they were back at the apartment. He took off the nice suit jacket he was wearing, not wanting to get it messed up, as he walked past the kitchen. He didn’t make it to the hallway to hang it back up, Silco grabbed him by the waist, pulling him into a kiss. A hot, tongue filled deep kiss.
“Daddy, oh, what’re yo-oh!” Viktor started to question as the older man’s lips traveled down the side of his neck, sharp teeth skimming the thin skin. He stopped short, surprised, when hands landed on the bottom of his ass and lifted him up. He was shocked and dropped his jacket on the floor without thought.
Viktor whined, as he was carried, shocked through with arousal. Professor was so strong, carrying him to the dining table.
The dining table? Viktor was confused when he was sat on the edge of the table. He looked up at Silco as the older man undid his belt, leaving the slacks loose on his hips.
“I’ve worked up an appetite indeed. Perhaps for something more exotic than a simple meal. If I may, my darling?” Silco said as he sat down at the dining chair, hands on the inside of Viktor’s thighs.
Viktor stared down at him. Sat just inches from where he was sure he’d ruined the professor’s borrowed underwear. Surely he didn’t mean… Viktor nodded, swallowing as he realized.
Silco smiled as his hands first plucked the shoes from the boy’s feet, then pulled at his slacks until those too went down to the floor in a disregarded pile. Viktor watched, only moving the smallest bit to help get the loose slacks off his brace.
“Viktor, lay back. Tell me if you begin to hurt.” Silco instructed, leaning down to kiss the inside of Viktor’s good knee, lips moving against his skin, warm and soft. Viktor nodded and moved to lay against the hard tabletop, unable to believe what was happening to him. His fingers curled up against the sides of the shirt he still wore.
“Good, pet, just relax.” Silco reassured as his hands crept up the insides of Viktor’s thighs, pressing into the soft fat there until his fingertips were creeping under the fabric of his underwear. Viktor sighed, trying to relax, letting his legs fall open, letting his muscles unclench. He was wet and gods… to know what the professor’s mouth felt like there….
“That’s it, good.” Silco praised voice darker, like he was more focused on something else as he pulled Viktor underwear down his legs and away. Like unwrapping a gift, until they too fell to the floor.
Viktor held still, not wanting to ruin what they were doing. But he could feel the professor's breath coasting over the insides of his thighs.
Then it was lips on his thighs, kisses growing closer and closer to his core. Viktor whined and held on, eyes scrunching closed as a breath was so close to his clit.
“Fuck!” Viktor cried out, cursing into the air as the professor’s tongue ran up in slit, hot and wet across his hole up to his clit. It was like nothing he’d ever felt. He slammed his hands against the table, a soft suction circling his clit.
“Sweety relax. Let me enjoy my meal.” Silco calmed with a smug voice. Viktor sobbed as a leg was put over Silco's shoulder, the man sucking once again.
Viktor couldn’t control the noises he was making, half sobbing, and whining, whimpering and crying out as there was more suction around his clit, a tongue laving over his hole, just the hint of teeth on his lips. It was too much, he pounded against the table, hands clenching and unclenching. He couldn’t breath, an orgasm suffocating him as it washed over him in an instant. He was caught off guard as his internal muscles clenched and released around nothing. He could feel as he got the professor’s face wet, slick dripping down to the table, gushing out of him.
“Good, that was perfect. You do so well, sweet little pet.” Silco was praising, the words floating around Viktor’s empty head.
He could hear his own scream echoing in his head. He still couldn’t breathe, sitting up as he choked on the air.
He pointed at the bedroom, his backpack, he needed his backpack, his inhaler was in it. He tried to calm and breath but he couldn’t, muscles freezing up.
Silco looked at him from where he’d been wiping his face off with a damp paper towel in the kitchen. He was quick to understand, the wheezing from the boy, his face turning color. He was fast to grab the boy’s bag, digging through it as he made his way back to the table, inhaler in hand, shaken and the guard taken off.
Viktor took two puffs, feeling better almost instantly. Viktor was grateful as his muscles opened up, loosen from where they’d been squeezing shut.
“Poor thing, just sit there for a moment, pet.” Silco said as he unbuttoned the shirt from Viktor, letting it open up to the white undershirt below, hand rubbing over his chest and back, comforting and warm.
Viktor was embarrassed. His body had the worst timing.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered when the words came back to him, sitting wet and messy against the professor’s dinner table, making him worry, needing his medicine.
“No need. You’re okay, sweetheart. Why don’t you go get washed up before dinner? Take a minute to settle down.” Silco said, voice soft, leaning down to kiss the boy’s forehead. Viktor nodded, wrapping his arms around the older man, hiding his face in his chest.
Viktor did go to the bathroom, hiding away behind a closed door to clean himself off, sticky slick drying on the insides of his thighs. He washed his face and when he emerged there was a stack of clothes waiting for him on the bed, a pair of sweatpants and an old worn sweatshirt with a faded bar logo on it.
Silco was in the kitchen, dressed in his slacks and down to just his button up, making something salty scented on the stove. It smelled good.
“It’s soup. The cold always gets in the mood for it. There’s a blanket in the chair over there, if you get cold.” Silco said as Viktor came up to watch him stir a pot. There were vegetables floating in the rich broth.
“I can… do something.” Viktor offered, wanting to help, even as he leaned against his cane. Silco smiled and turned to kiss him, a soft quick press of their lips.
“Thank you, pet. Why don’t you tell me about school, talk to me.” Silco said and Viktor blushed and nodded, sitting in one of the dining chairs, pulling it close to the kitchen.
Silco was grateful to have the boy’s voice floating through the air. His studies, his advisors, his friends, how he liked to roll out big sheets of paper to do his equations on because sitting on the floor was a lot easier than standing at a blackboard. It made the time pass faster as the soup cooked, as he prepared seasoned bread to dip into it, and brewed two glasses of tea to have with.
Viktor ate slower, chatting between bites, going on and on about a new idea he had for his thesis. Silco listened intently, following the details. Viktor sparkled when he spoke about his passions.
They ended up talking on the couch, the sun set, casting orange and red through the apartment as Silco told Viktor stories of Zaun, of Entresol before the attacks. He listened and talked about his own journey, staying first alone on the street, then being taken in with other orphans, building his one crutches as a small child, showing off his modern cane, the places he’d welded the pipes together, half hidden by stickers. Silco was impressed.
It was when Viktor yawned, eyes drooping closed, the moon high in the sky, that Silco decided it was time to get ready for bed. He went first and then let Viktor have his time as the tub filled.
“I like your house. I like this.” Viktor said as he let Silco wash his hair, the older man sitting beside the tub, dressed in his pajamas having just washed quickly. Silco hummed, thinking about how sickeningly sweet the boy was, all soft constellation skin, sensitive and new. How nice he was to hold, how his body was so receptive, so ready to please.
“You can come over when you want. When you want to come sleep in daddy’s bed, eat my food, watch your shows on my TV. Whenever you want. I’ll give you a key.” Silco said, sincerely. He was acting like a naive young man again, letting someone in. Viktor’s face went red as he smiled, lips creaking into a wide grin that he couldn’t begin to hide.
“I’d like that.” Viktor said and was soon wrapped up in the professor’s silk pajamas, hanging off his frame, luxurious and nice, cuddled in his bed, warm and safe.
Silco enjoyed the boy.
Enjoyed when he showed up one day with a roll of paper, a box of crayons, and his glasses, saying he wanted to borrow some floor space. He spent the day on the floor, taps of wax against the floor as he drew and wrote his ideas out in a fifteen foot long expression of paper. Silco sat and watched him, half reading his own book, half watching as his brilliance came to life in color on the roll of paper. It was half past midnight when he finished, tired and satisfied. He crawled into Silco’s bed in his underwear, cuddling up against him to sleep. Silco woke up to a boy who wanted to celebrate his brilliance, gushing about how he’d practiced riding on his toy.
He enjoyed when the boy showed up all teary eyed because he fell down and he hurt all over and everything was horrible and just wanted to lay in his bathtub. Silco sat in the bathroom for over an hour as the boy soaked, reading to him in the warm steamy room.
He enjoyed when Viktor came to visit in his office, late at night on Thursdays, just to sit in his lap and play on his phone. Or the one time Viktor had finished finals and showed up and locked the door behind him, standing before Silco’s desk saying he needed Daddy. Silco had been swamped, busy grading and correcting papers and said he would drive the boy back to his apartment. Viktor had celebrated a small bit and had just enough liquid courage in him to act boldly, peeling off his slacks and nice sweater, leaving him in his braces and a pair of nearly see through purple panties, little bow in the center of them. Silco swore he nearly expired at the sight. He pulled Viktor to him, bending him over the desk, giving him what he wanted.
He enjoyed when Viktor came over to his apartment to just sit on his couch, eat his food, and watch his shows. He just didn’t want to do anything, wanting to just sit in his pajamas and watch his shows, in silence. Silco didn’t mind sitting next to him and reading his book, just being near him. Or let the boy cuddle against him, sitting against his side or kicking his feet in his lap.
He enjoyed the texts Viktor sent. Little things throughout the day. Pictures of the birds outside his dorm window, the food he was eating, a group picture of him and his friends at the library, pictures of himself when he got his new back brace, the few times, usually at night when they hadn’t touched each other in a few days, the pictures of Viktor, hand between his legs, or perched up on his pillow, back arched, one hand holding the base of his vibrator, or the few times he got pictures of the sticky mess between the boy’s legs, all puffy and pink still, clit red. Those messages usually just came with three words. ‘I’m coming over’. At least giving Silco enough warning to put a towel down on the bed and get extra pajamas out.
He enjoyed any time Viktor came to him. Knowing the boy wanted him, thought about him all the time, liked him just as much in return. Silco didn’t expect in his middle age to spend so many nights naked and snuggling a handsome young man, or that he’d be so happy.
<Last Chapter
#egg_company#fanfic#smut tag#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#vilco#Viktor x silco#professor silco#student viktor#Prof. S#silco arcane#arcane silco#arcane viktor#Viktor arcane#silco x viktor
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when jack met cassy
a part of: untouchable au
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8c0c61cef35508ac0a6283d8fcc00921/ca2860d7043459ca-bf/s540x810/fe256067e10e5dc213d6e120f77db350eded1174.jpg)
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when cassy entered the mclaren garage on sunday to start getting ready for the canadian grand prix, she firstly found their social media admin and one of her closest friends in the paddock, anne.
mclaren had a close-knit group of girls consisting of cassy, anne, her girlfriend sabrina who was one of two team photographers and charlotte, who was a law student currently doing an internship at mclaren.
it had become a routine for the four of them to sit on the step to the pit wall for a second to chat before any grand prix. it was also usually the time cassy got to ask anne about the vip guests of the weekend which she did first things first ever since she missed when tom holland visited.
“uh, there’s not much going on today. some hockey players should show up though, you know, charlie’s brother and them”, anne looped her in while staring at her ipad. “eh, alright.” cassy murmured, slightly disappointed.
with a last tap of her own papaya-coloured high top converse against anne’s white and orange air force she got up to start getting ready for the race.
jack couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. he was going to see his sister again AND his first f1 race. lottie usually worked for mclaren during the summer break of the academic year, being located in cambridge for her studies, so when she invited him to see both her and the race in canada he instantly said yes.
they agreed to meet just before the entrance to the paddock so she could give him, cole and trevor (who she graciously invited as well) their passes. jack had been jittery the whole way there, not having seen his twin since christmas.
leaning onto a lamp post in front of the gate was a blonde girl, wearing black mom jeans, a mclaren t-shirt tucked into them and orange old school vans. he instantly ran towards her, charlotte barely being able to save the binder she held before jack tackled her into a crushingly tight hug that she returned with equal force.
after she’d given cole and trevor a side hug each and handed each of them a garage pass, the group entered through the gate and lottie talked them through the paddock on the way to the mclaren garage.
after she showed them their spots and told them about the screens and headsets she caught up with jack for a bit before a whirlwind of red curls brushed past them, grabbed her wrist and whisked her away to the steps in front of the pit wall where anne and sabrina had claimed their place already.
“charlotte-i-don’t-know-your-middle-name-hughes! tell me your brother’s not the one in the middle, please” cassy looked at charlotte with wide eyes. “uh, my middle name’s ruby, actually. but yeah, that’s jack. left is cole, right is trevor.” charlotte answered, confusion evident on her face.
cassy only groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “are all your brothers that pretty? your parents must be like greek gods or somethin’” she mumbled into her hands. sabrina smirked, looking at them over her shoulder as she was walking back to the garage with anne, both of them having to work some more before the grand prix. “i think our cass just experienced love at first sight”
charlie gasped and smiled teasingly at that, prying cassy’s hands away from her face. “you gonna make a move?“
“would you like, be okay with that? and are you sure he’s single?” “of course i’m okay with that, cass! i’m not blind you know. also he’s been staring at you like ever since you grabbed me.” cassy tore her eyes away from charlie and towards the garage instead.
the pretty boy from earlier, jack hughes as she now knew, was indeed staring at her. “also, he’s definitely single. i can-” charlie’s sentence and cassy’s staring were interrupted by lando’s voice. “jonesy, hughesy, come on we need to do the rule run down!”
fortunately for jack and less so for cassy, her workspace wasn’t far from the guest area. which meant he could watch her and she couldn’t concentrate because she felt his eyes on her.
the grand prix itself wasn’t too eventful, 11th place for oscar and 13th for lando. both cassy and charlie were needed after the race though, to review the penalty lando had gotten for “unsportsmanlike behaviour”.
charlie’s department handled the rules for each grand prix as well as topics like filing lawsuits over penalties. cassy as one of lando’s engineers was tasked with reviewing all the video material she could get her hands on to find something that could have the penalty taken back, or at least reviewed.
on her way to the conference room though, when cassy passed by jack, she slipped a tiny piece of paper into his hand, catching his eyes quickly to smirk at him.
he wanted to chat her up at least but she was rushed along before his brain could form a single word. instead, he opened the note. it read “you’re really pretty. text me?” with a little heart and a number, presumably her phone number on it.
before he could even try folding the paper back up he was already fighting for balance, both cole and trevor having read the note and started teasingly nudging him with their elbows, matching excited grins on their faces.
“did jacky get himself a girlfrieeeend?” trevor sing-songed into his ear. before he could continue though, charlie apprared in front of them, index finger poking jack’s chest.
“i love you but if you fuck this up i’m not guaranteeing for anything” she warned, serious blue eyes drilling into his identical ones to make sure he understood her. he grabbed her hand, eyes just as serious as hers, and spoke “if i find a way to fuck this up, lottie, please make sure i regret it.”
#jack hughes#jack hughes x oc#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes imagine#cassandra jones#goldie's untouchable au
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I'm late to mermay, but well, uh, no excuses have Siren! Martin doing such a great job in the archives.
Tim loved going to the ocean. He loved the water in general, and when Danny was still with him, he would try and fail to convince him to try to go with him during the winter. Danny always quoted old legends, but Tim didn't believe in them. Well, he does now, but that's besides the point.
The reason Tim believes is the 6ft5inch man in his apartment who is technically his husband or mate in his words. Of course, this happened years ago he's now a much more jaded man. He works for the insistute now trying to get answers for his brother, and somehow, his husband works there too. He really doesn't understand how he lied about everything on his CV.
"Tim?" A male voice pulls Tim out of his thoughts. "Should I wear this one or this one? We work together now in the archives, and you don't want me to match you."
"The blue one is fine, Martin." Tim smiles softly. Martin wasn't human, and he's honestly surprised nobody has figured it out. He's also grateful for the face that he's his husband, even if he keeps it secret.
"Are you sure? You want our mate bond to be kept secret. I don't know if they can smell it.... I should wear one from the dryer." Martin sighs.
Tim chuckles. "Just because I wore that to bed doesn't mean you can't wear it. We humans don't have the same abilities as you guys."
"Yeah, but I don't know if everyone there is human." Martin huffs.
They have this argument about once a week, which is fine. It's better than the raw meat debate. Tim smiles softly. "Alright, alright, won't wear your jumpers anymore."
Martin huffs. "I didn't say that! You always do this."
Tim chuckles. "Maybe I like seeing you riled up. Seriously though, it's fine as long as we don't arrive at the same time." They've been together years at this point, so they both know when they are joking.
"I know the drill, Tim." Martin sighs. "Can we share the same bed tonight?"
"I'm not sleeping in the tub with you again it took weeks for my skin to heal, and before you suggest it no I'm not going in the ocean either we were both incredibly late to work." Tim raised his brow and pauses. "Oh wait, you meant my bed."
Martin rolls his eyes. "Forget I asked."
"No, wait, yes." Tim moves closer to Martin. "Then I don't have to wear things that smell like you."
Martin smiles. "You're already my mate. You do not need to scent yourself of me."
"What if I want to?"
"I suppose that can be arranged."
......
Sasha rolled her chair closer to Tim. "So Jon totally has a crush on Martin. I was talking to his ex, and she totally agrees. How about a wager? I mean, Martin is totally into him. Have you seen how aggressive he is about taking care of Jon?"
Tim chokes on his tea. "W-what?" He wipes off the mess the best he could. "Sasha, he's that way to everyone."
"Not you, and nowhere near that way to me or anyone else in this building. Besides, the timing is perfect. We have that mandatory institute day out on the beach. Sure, we're picking up trash and sending flyers out about the institute, but there's also games and food. We can totally set them up." Sasha claps her hands together with a smile on her lips.
"No." Tim could feel that green eyed monster rear its ugly head. Danny always made fun of him because he insisted he felt nothing of their marriage. Danny was right, of course. He was about to out them, and he had to think of something. "No, I mean well, what are the stakes? Is Jon's ex going to be there?"
"Oooo, that could be even better." Sasha smirks. "She can help us, and she is bringing her girlfriend. Tim you're a genius."
Tim gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
......
Sasha pushed Martin and Jon together. "You two can start at one end, and Tim and I will start at the other. Then we'll meet up and get some American fair food they have."
Jon raised a brow. He was in a binder with a loose tank top above it and a pair of shorts. He was also in boots and long socks. "Ok? I don't understand why Elias has this to be mandatory."
Martin looked like he was about to growl and hiss. They were so close to the ocean that the instincts to take his mate to the ocean screamed at him. "Yeah, it's an odd choice."
Tim grits his teeth as Sasha pulls him away. He was still mostly human, well it was slowly changing but he was still mostly human but even he could feel the pull of the ocean he can't imagine how Martin feels.
......
Jon rubs his brow as he looks over to Martin, who is carrying about six full bags of trash without breaking a sweat. It was impressive and kind of depressing that there's that much trash. "Martin, we can stop and drop those off, we have a ways to go."
"Why?" Martin tilted his head in a way that Jon thought was adorable.
"Isn't it heavy?" Jon sighs he only had two half full bags since Martin keeps taking the full ones away from him.
"No, not really. Are you alright? Do you need more sunscreen? We are nearly done with our side." Martin puts the bags down and takes out a bottle of sunblock.
"I'm dark skinned Martin I don't need that much." Jon, let's out a noise of surprise since Martin already started to put on a fresh layer.
"Dark skin still burns." Martin is quick but thurough. "It's better to be safe."
Jon blushes a deep red. "I uh right, of course. Let us continue. We're almost done."
.....
Sasha and Tim waved from the start of the stands. "Took you guys long enough!" Sasha laughs.
Jon frowns. "Martin insisted I drink some water and put on another layer of sunscreen. However, we did collect the most trash."
Martin nods. "Yes! We found a big pile someone buried under the sand. Also your health is important."
Tim looked between them, and something clicked. The green eyed beast was dead, and Martin was treating Jon like a pod member who couldn't care for themselves. He did this before with Danny when he was really into extreme sports. He felt the tension drain from his shoulders. "How about some weird American food? Heard double boss man got some cool stuff like pickled lemonade, and fried oreos."
"Good lord, that sounds like a heart attack." Jon scoffs.
"I would like to try that. Sounds like a perfect hangover cure." Sasha chuckles.
.......
Martin somehow ended up on a cliffside. He loved watching the waves from this high up, Tim was behind him talking to Jon's ex, um Georgie was her name. It was very nice and he really wanted to jump.
"Pretty view." A old man was next to him. His white hair was wind swept back. "You can get lost in just how vast it is."
Martin nodded, not realizing he was moving forward until he was tumbling over the edge. Well, he wanted to do this anyway.
Tim did a double take before he started to run. "MARTIN!" He went over the edge as well, and he could swear he heard an old man laughing.
Georgie and Sasha ran to the edge. They saw Tim hanging on grabbing Martin on a ledge.
"Holy shit are you two ok?" Sasha stared down at them wide-eyed.
Tim huffs. "I know you're making that face. I'm not dropping you." He did not hear Sasha, but she can hear the two men.
"But Tim, the ocean! Pleaseeeee I wanna go with you." Martin huffs.
"No, Martin, you're going to out us!" Tim groans his grip was strong but not enough for their combined weight. "Grab onto a ledge! Use your damn claws."
"I will bite you." Martin holds his hand out and then slams it into the side of the cliff and lets go of Tim. "You owe me!"
"We can go swimming when it won't out us." Tim rolls his eyes and adjusts his grip with both hands. "Now focus, we need a way back up."
"I'm not helping you." Martin sticks his tongue out and climbs the clifside like he was a lizard and stops above Tim. "You're also banned until I see fit from taking my clothes."
"Seriously? We're literally hanging from a cliff." Tim huffs.
"You are. I am climbing." Martin kicks off his shoes then his socks. "Last chance."
Tim looks up at the two women staring at them, and of course, they see Martin sink his claws into stone. "Fine. Not because I want to, but because Sasha and Georgie already saw you sink your hands into the cliffside." He lets go of the cliffside and falls with his arms crossed.
Martin follows in a diving position.
Sasha and Georgie screamed.
......
"Now, Sasha, let's not be hasty." Elias hums, walking by the bottom of the cliffside. "You also said Martin pushed his hands into the cliffside."
"I'm sorry, Sasha, but he's right." Georgie frowns. "I believe in the weird, but that's like impossible, and to fall at that height."
"Well, I hope the supernatural exists." Jon mumbles. "They could survive the fall right?"
"Not likely, water becomes -" Elias is cut off by laughter.
"Martin! Bloody hell!" Tim said through laughter.
Martin was carrying Tim. They were walking out of the waves. "Oh, I love cliff diving. We should do that again!"
The four people stared at the two with jaws open.
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