#also - thank you so much to everyone who's sent me sweet and supportive messages
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gratitude for the new year
(inspired by @the-sun-and-the-sea)
over this past year, i have had so much fun on here with all of you. i appreciate everyone on here- the mutuals, the lurkers, the og trilogy fans that for some reason put up with the nonsense! all of you have made this year so much easier for someone who was struggling elsewhere in life <3
i hope we can all continue to be silly, fun, creative, and a little a lot unhinged into the next year. this fandom is such a lovely and supportive little corner. i’ve been inspired to do things i never thought i’d do- writing fanfiction, doing a fic exchange, unhinged cannibalism thoughts- the usual.
(under the cut for the gratitude things!)
- i want to start out by saying how much i appreciate anyone who sent me and ask over this past year! especially you my lovely anon friends! it’s been so much fun and in my…far too many years on tumblr i’ve never been able to interact with so many people! i cannot overstate how nice it is so have so many people will to engage about our silly little guys.
- i also want to say how much i appreciate the corso creatures discord as a whole! when we made it, i’m not going to lie, i really thought that would fizzle out quickly. so i’m so happy to see it thriving and everyone having fun on there together. thank you again, @coryo for helping make a place where can all truly be together and be ourselves!
now onto some people who have made this year so wonderful for me:
@the-sun-and-the-sea - i remember messaging you for the first time and honestly being so intimidated! you seemed like such a cool and popular blog + so many amazing fics and seemed wayyyy too cool to be talking to the weird tbosas girl. i couldn’t have been more wrong! you’re the sweetest, most genuine, and supportive person i’ve had the privilege of being friends with this year.
@felixravinstills - you have inspired me so much over the past year! before i started this blog i was so embarrassed by my interests and i felt so silly and stupid. then i met you, who was so talented and creative and insane about you little guy! and it made me feel more okay with being open about my little guys and to be a little weird about it! please forever stay the person you are <3
@fairyhagmother - my appalachian friend (in my head. you are one of us.) i was so, so excited when someone on here was so educated on appalachia and wanted to talk about it! i never would have thought at the time that in just a few months we could be talking about…coriolanus snow’s grandma’am and toxic yuri. i still think about that festus/pippa/liv ballet post you did btw. love u my friend.
@ylvisruinedmylife - hannah i couldn’t possibly fit how much i appreciate you into a post! i love bouncing off insane ideas with you and torturing hils together. i’m always amazed by how intelligent and creative and talented you are…and you’re still so friendly and supportive! your support, especially with my jessup nonsense, means the world. thank you for not killing you know who in you know what. i hope treemina never frees you.
@moreespressoformydepresso - fun fact: i also was lowkey intimidated by you for a while! imagine my surprise when you wanted to befriend me and dm and tell me about all of your fun aus! now, i couldn’t imagine my fandom experience without you. thank you for being so friendly and supportive and down to yap with me <3 you’ll never escape me 😤
@spiralling-thoughts - i love how you keep the tribute fandom alive and give so much life to all the minor tributes! you’re one of the first friends i had on here, and i really appreciate you sticking with my over this year! please always feel free to tell me all of your ideas, i love hearing them!
@majorsoapfan - AH you’re so sweet and talented! i love yapping with you in the dms and coming up with silly ideas! not to mention the absolute masterpieces of works you create!
@sparklebear11 - you fr are the maude ivory to my barb azure! you’re so silly and fun, please never change that about you. i hope the covey haunts you forever so you’ll stick around with us!
@keeperofsecretsunderthehill - i wish i had the creativity that you do! you’re always coming with such different, yet equally interesting, ideas! cranedove ceo always <3
@xtabithanala - not only did you create one of my favorite fics and help me love liv even more- you’re also so kind and supportive to me?? an angel! i hope we can talk more over this next year and get to know each other better!
i’m so looking forward to getting to know all of you guys better over this next year! @thatthingilovewith (can’t wait for more bobbin), @tumblingghosts (i miss yapping with you!, @meekmedea (always such a lovely presence but i’d love to talk to you more!), @little-de-vil (please keep yapping about the d2 lore in my dms forever), @ilovepersephoneprice (pippa friend!!!! we have so much more yapping to do!), @vampirehizzies (my mizzen sized mutual that i am so proud of!), @solar-halos (love u girlie let’s yap more), @mr-nauseam (you’re a great friend and your kindness and patience is amazing!), @ritalinrae (let’s yap more!), @threestargirls (i’m so looking forward to yapping with you in the new year!), @mollywog (we don’t often interact but i love when we do- i still think about that playground thing you said!), @jinglebellpeppre (how have we not yapped together about miz?), @julietasgf (talented artist queen) <3
if i forgot some please feel free to yell at me and i’ll tell you how much i appreciate you and why
(honorary mention to bel who i miss dearly)
have a lovely new year everyone <3
#lily rambles#new year gratitude#sorry for once again being annoying and telling u all how much i love u but. I DO.
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Okay, I will say one thing, though. In my opinion, feeling sad or conflicted is understandable and okay - we can't always control the way we feel, after all. But we can control the way we act. And anyone being nasty about this or making mean-spirited comments can fuck all the way off, as far as I'm concerned. Chris deserves all the happiness in the world and I truly wish them the very best
Just a little note to say as usual, I won't be discussing any rumours or developments with regards to the boys' private lives (particularly their love lives) on here. I chose to take my distance from all that a while ago, and that's proved to be the right decision for me personally, so I'll be continuing down that path. I'm sending big hugs and lots of love to everyone who needs it, though 💛
#it's possible to be sad for some reasons and still happy for him#and i won't begrudge him his happiness#also - thank you so much to everyone who's sent me sweet and supportive messages#I appreciate it so very much and I wish I could give everyone who needs it a big big hug 💛💛💛#so consider yourself hugged from a distance#I love you guys#chris evans#minnie talks#ok that's it from me on this
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hi! sorry if you've answered this already, i tried to search your blog and didn't find much, but we all know the tumblr search function is...uh...but i'd be deeply curious to hear your thoughts about Stephenie Meyer's "The Host," specifically re: treatment of the issue of souls' colonization and possession of other species...and obviously, since i'm asking you, an animorphs blog, this, my curiosity is definitely coming from a place of comparison to animorphs, but that doesn't have to be your focus!
from the posts tumblr's search algorithm did grant me, i gather you see it as wanda unlearning the colonizer's propaganda stance she takes at the start of the story, which i agree with!
but i guess every time i read it, i really can't help but feel...unsatisfied? with the way it actually engages with the horrors and colonization of it all?
sort of like, okay, The Host is this one very individual YA romance story in a sci-fi setting, which is obviously different from a heavily-Star-Trek-inspired middle-grade series about guerrilla warfare and is going to grapple with these issues differently...but still! i don't leave feeling satisfied with how it engages with consent of "host" bodies the souls are in, and i don't feel satisfied with how it engages with the souls' systemic behavior!!! but i can't really put my finger on why, and i just...was curious, i guess, whether this was something you had thoughts about.
(full disclosure: i'm asking you specifically because one of my HUGE points of existential dread on my first adulthood reread of The Host was how Jodi never wakes up, and her boyfriend just starts implied-dating the soul who's in her body? or how kids who are infested from birth are just...gone, and they were like "well sweet we can just put Wanda in there, this is a perfect solution!" and that I think hit me so hard in comparison with having read Eleutherophobia--which is, by the way, a masterwork of fanfiction that wrecked me, overwrote canon a little bit in my brain, and I think fundamentally changed how I see the possibilities of writing and narration, so, you know. thank you for that!)
(also like, i know there's different worldbuilding where it's implied most hosts just...go away...but do they actually? because Mel and the Seeker's host are still there, which kind of implies to me that it's more of a problem than the souls want to admit?! and even outside humans, all the memories, and compulsions toward certain behaviors are still there! what makes a person in this universe of Meyer's?! it's kind of fundamentally horrifying?!)
apologies for this extremely long ask, haha, and i hope you're doing well, love your blog, your writing, and all your thoughts!
Oh my god, ALL OF THIS. I thoroughly enjoy the first 98% of The Host. It's a romance novel about consent! Where the characters have to struggle to resolve the plot in a way that gets the permission of everyone in the love quadrangle to boink everyone else, and spends over 500 pages doing exactly that! It's anti-imperialist as fuck! It's got an amazing supporting cast, like every Stephenie Meyer novel! The imagery is unparalleled in its richness and coolness, because Stephenie Meyer! I've written fan fiction about it! I have an extremely normal relationship with Kyle O'Shea!
And then Sunny. And then Wanda's unnamed second human host.
I think that Meyer, either because of romance genre conventions or pressure from publishers, felt she had to write a happy ending. But the book does such a good job of setting up an unresolvable moral dilemma — either Wanda gets to be with Ian, or she does the right thing by giving Melanie's body back — that there is no path to a happy ending. If Ian did as Wanda asked and sent her in a jar to some other planet, romance fans would feel cheated. If Doc did as Melanie asked and let Wanda stay in her body, then the book's anticolonial message would be for nothing.
But resolving it through PARASITING A KID IN A VEGETATIVE STATE? What if Doc makes Wanda a nice robot body? What if Wanda stays in a jar, but Ian finds a way to join her in the jar? What if she and Melanie set up a time share? Uuuuuugggggghhhhh. The Host was THIS CLOSE to being the best anticolonial novel ever written, and then falls on its face inches from the finish line.
Which, aside, is the reason I don't think Animorphs would ever work with a happy ending. "Happy" for the protagonists would never be morally okay in the bigger story.
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Fuck it Friday/Throwback Thursday
Tagged by @tizniz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples
The 167k Buddie au you didn’t know you needed, now with fun visuals, sharing characters from Good Knight Sweet Prince that I made with one of the pic crews link here.
I wasted quite a lot of time on this but had so much fun with it. This is one of my favourite fics and I know it’s niche but trust me it’s got everything you want and more … give it a try.
Also just wanted to say thank you ❤️to everyone who sent congratulations and sweet messages to help me celebrate the million word milestone. I’m only here and still writing because you’re so supportive and fun to share my words with. Big hugs for everyone.
A few more pictures under the cut (including Ravi and Lavana my oc in this fic who turned out pretty cool)
Tagging for whatever you may want to share @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @dr-shortsighted-owl @the-likesofus @beyourownanchor6 @lonelychicago @bi-buckrights @fiona-fififi @rogerzsteven @bekkachaos @evanbi-ckley @thekristen999 @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @underwaterninja13 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @inell @stagefoureddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @elvensorceress @jesuisici33 @eddiebabygirldiaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @buffaluff @rainbow-nerdss @diazheartsbuckley @actualalligator @watchyourbuck @loveyouanyway @repressedqueen @disasterbuck @shipperqueen6 @theotherbuckley @caroandcats
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie fic#911 abc#911 fic#911fic#good knight sweet prince#buddie au#medieval au#Prince!buck#prince au#911 au#911 fanfic#piccrew#eddie x Buck#Buck x Eddie#chimney han#hen wilson#karen wilson#athena grant#ravi panikkar#911 fire family#with swords and dragons and stuff
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kind of long post, so apologies in advance. just want to give a little update as well as talk about how my blog will be functioning moving forward. you don’t have to read of course, but if you do, it’s very appreciated!
for starters, i want to say how thankful i am for all the love and support i’ve received during my time here. running nateezfics has been fun, and i’ve enjoyed posting, and making a handful of sweet mutuals! i will always cherish the time here.
the above statement makes it sound like I’m leaving. i am not, rest assured. however, i am saying that my presence here will decrease. i’ve always been pretty regular on posting, mostly just posting whatever random thought i had on my brain (usually always regarding a certain captain lol). though recently i have had little to no desire to post on here at all. and it’s been an even longer time that I’ve felt like writing consistently. also it’s been so hard for me to find the energy to interact with anyone here; for the last couple of months i have felt very detached from ateez, and kpop as a whole. to be quite honest, I’ve barely kept up with this recent comeback/album. this has affected my want to post here. i feel like my interests may be moving elsewhere, and that i am not as interested in ateez/kpop these days. this may just be a temporary thing, but as such, my presence here will be sparse. i won’t force myself to post or write if i don’t want to. so i will just simply be posting when i have the desire or energy to.
thus my requests that i have waiting in my inbox will be unfulfilled. i will be erasing all the requests in my askbox, with the exception of a few that i might feel inspired to complete. i have wanted to do this for some time and now is my opportunity. i have struggled with even responding to basic asks, so fic requests have been even harder for me. i am so overwhelmed with the amount of requests that i feel like I cannot get through them all; and i just feel so guilty because so many of them have just been sitting there incomplete for ages. so i feel like it’s best to just come out and say i will not be doing them and will never again take any more fic requests. i honestly feel much better after making this decision. thank you to everyone who has requested from me, and thank you to everyone who sent in an ask in general to me. as for any of my own wip’s, they too will probably never be completed. lately the fics I’m most motivated to write are ones i come up with spontaneously, while my planned wip’s have been rotting away. i had a lot of fics planned, but i just simply don’t have the desire for them anymore. i am not going to pressure myself; writing should be fun and not feel like a job! so i am giving myself a clean slate. hope you can enjoy the fics i may post in the future!
all this to say, i am taking somewhat of a hiatus. I won’t be too active here, yet i may hop on when i feel like it or post a fic or two when i am able! if you’d like to reach me, best place to reach out would be by messaging me on insta @ ateezink. again, thank you everyone for all the support! it means a lot!
— nat 🧸
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Tangled Fates (Part Two)
Part One
What happened after Sapuna left for Garud Lok, and how Wansarut faces a challenge to decide her future.
GIF by @25shadesoffebruary || Original Post by creator is here
a/n - Thank you to literally everyone who showed so much support on my previous fic! I really had the time of my life writing for The Sign series as it just keeps on getting interesting with the release of new episodes! can't wait for those saturdays dude! till then... do give this a read and let me know how it was! Thanks a lot <3
Also major shoutout to @ayansbff for suggesting the song for this fic! [Galliyan by Ankit Tiwari]
The Sign series spoilers ahead!
---/---/---
Having craned her neck for so long, Wansarut tilted her head to get some relief. In response, Wanwisa pulled her hair into an angle. Again.
“Phi Saoo! ” she cried, looking at Wanwisa through the mirror. “Stay still just a bit longer!” Wanwisa let out a laugh while braiding her hair.
Prince Chalothorn was expected to visit their family that evening, and all responsibilities for making Wansarut presentable had fallen on her elder sister. This included preparing Wansarut for the occasion. Although she knew the prince favored her family as members of the Naga court, Wansarut had no romantic interest in him. To her, he was more like an older brother.
“Where is your mind wandering off to?” Wanwisa inquired.
Days had passed since Wansarut last encountered the Garuda. Her thoughts occasionally drifted back to their last conversation, especially how she had revealed her name without thinking. She had been in such a hurry to escape from him that she hadn't even bothered to ask for his name in return.
“Nowhere. Just… thinking,” Wansarut replied.
“About…” Wanwisa sang, “The Prince?”
Wansarut shot her a glare with a frown. “No.”
Wanwisa sighed, combing her hair. “I can't fathom why you're so determined not to like him. He's the prince of our kingdom, fighting for our clan. He's always been good to our family. Imagine how incredible it would be for you to marry him – you'd be a princess, our future queen!”
“I've always seen him as a brother, Phi Saoo. If you're so fond of him, why don't you marry him?” Wansarut blurted out before she could restrain herself.
Wanwisa's hands paused, and she gently caressed Wansarut's hair with a sad smile. “He doesn't like me, Nong Saoo. He likes you.” She placed the now complete braid on Wansarut's shoulder and hugged her from behind. “You'll make a fine princess, Nong Saoo.”
Without offering further explanation, she left the chamber. Wansarut watched her vanish behind the entrance curtains, a thought appearing inside her mind: does Wanwisa has feelings for Prince Chalothorn. If she did, wouldn't she have confided in her?
---/---/--- Sapuna settled on the windowsill of his house, gazing at the floating mountains of Garuda Lok, absent-mindedly toying with his golden flute – a gift from his sister.
His mind replayed every word spoken to Lord Aruna. After urgently requesting a meeting upon his return, the fact that he emerged unharmed from the human world granted him the audience.
He had practically begged the sun god to suggest a truce with the Naga prince. Despite encountering resistance from those present, Lord Aruna dismissed him, promising to consider the suggestion. Excused from the battlefront for the time being, Sapuna was sent back home.
Thoughts of Wansarut only added to his turmoil, her image recurring in his mind. He felt a tugging sensation in his chest at the memory of his savior – her almond eyes, pointed nose, and the crease of her eyebrows beneath her hair haunted his dreams each night. Despite his grandmother's attempts to appease him with sweets, he longed for the sweet wild mangoes of the human world.
Sapuna noticed an object hurtling towards him at tremendous speed. He catched it effortlessly, and discovered it was a message from Lord Aruna. He read its contents, and standing standing abruptly; transformed into his Garuda form, soaring off to the human world. Despite Wansarut's reluctance to have him there, he now had a valid reason to visit her.
Because the letter in his hand read:
Neither side wants the blood of their clan to spill for nothing, and our aim is to attain peace given the animosity between our clans. I have proposed a truce to the Naga kingdom. And if they answer, you will be accompanying me to meet Prince Chalothorn along with my court.
I trust you, Sapuna. Don’t make me regret this.
---/---/---
Beneath the sheltering branches of an ancient banyan tree, Wansarut perched on a swing, trying to make sense of the events from the previous evening at her home.
Prince Chalothorn had engaged in conversation with her family while she and her sister eavesdropped from behind the curtains of the halls, accompanied by the servants. Just as she prepared to meet him with Wanwisa, a royal guard rushed in, whispering something urgent to the prince.
The prince's face swiftly transformed from a benevolent smile to a furious scowl. He rose abruptly, apologized to the elders citing an emergency on the front lines, and departed without meeting her. The rapid shift in his demeanor left her unsettled, prompting her to slip away while her family debated the reason behind his sudden departure. Uninterested from the start, she wanted no involvement in the drama.
Swinging back and forth, Wansarut felt a forceful gust propel her forward. She glanced around to witness the forest settling into an unusual calm, as if a presence had touched down amidst the canopy. Descending from the swing, she observed a figure emerging from the woods, recognizing the silver breastplate of the Garuda as he approached.
"Swadee kha, Wansarut," he greeted, joining his hands.
She whispered inquisitively, "What are you doing here?" scanning their surroundings for any witnesses.
The Garuda responded with wide-eyed innocence, "Why are you whispering?"
"Your entrance was not exactly subtle, Khun," she signed.
Amused, the Garuda burst into laughter. The resonant sound stirred something within her, it felt like a warm embrace. She couldn't help but be captivated by the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled.
---/---/---
Sapuna felt an ice-cold grip on his arm, and Wansarut tugged him towards the expansive Banyan Tree grove. He followed, too shy to meet her gaze, opting instead to focus on the ground. With every step, her emerald-gold anklets gleamed against her fair skin, and the hem of her garments brushed the ground in front of him.
Wansarut halted and turned to face him. Reluctantly, he lifted his head to meet her gaze. As she parted her lips to speak, he stopped her, saying, "I have news regarding your request."
Sapuna proceeded to share everything, from his visit to Lord Aruna to his journey to this place. Wansarut's face brightened with each word, as if she had realized something crucial and couldn't wait to express it.
"Prince Chalothorn visited my family last evening and left abruptly without explanation, citing an emergency. He didn't seem very pleased about it, maybe this was the news." she said, tilting her head.
Sapuna attentively absorbed her words and, driven by curiosity, inquired, "Why was Prince Chalothorn at your house?"
Wansarut glanced at him, her shoulders slumping. "My family has been members of the royal court for centuries, and he has asked for my hand in marriage."
"Oh," was all Sapuna could manage to say.
While he had suspected her high social status based on her jewelry and attire, he shouldn't have been so surprised that she was engaged, especially to Prince Chalothorn.
"I haven't given him an answer yet. I was supposed to yesterday, but..." She trailed off.
"You would have said yes?" he asked.
Wansarut gazed at him with a pained expression. He could decipher from her look alone that she harbored no interest in the proposed union.
It felt inherently wrong. She, with her purity and kindness, seemed incompatible with someone like Chalothorn. The Naga prince held nothing but bitterness in his heart, responsible for the ongoing conflict between their clans.
"I have to go," Sapuna said, distancing himself from her. "I hope you make the right choice."
"Khàapkhun Kha... Khun," she replied, bowing her head.
Sapuna chuckled at her formality. "Please, Wansarut, I should be the one thanking you. And you can call me by my name; no need to be so formal." Wansarut remained silent, directing her gaze to her feet and fidgeting with her hands. He realized the reason. "You don't know my name," he sighed.
"Sapuna. My name is Sapuna-Naparuj," he said, smiling at how Wansarut snapped her head to look him in the eyes, clearly surprised.
"Sapuna." she repeated.
He swore no one had ever uttered his name quite like that. His heart raced, warmth spreading across his face, and he took a step backward, still looking her in the eyes until the pounding in his chest became too much.
Turning away, Sapuna unfurled his wings and soared toward Garuda Lok, a smile playing on his lips as he stole glances at the fascinated Wansarut with his infinite vision.
---/---/---
Bonus Scene
"Come on, man," Phaya pleaded with the lunch guy to give him an extra slice of mango.
"I told you I can't give you extra. Two slices for everyone," the server stared him down, not a hint of emotion in his eyes.
Phaya looked at the tray overflowing with fresh mango slices, his mouth watering at the mere scent of the ripe yellow fruit.
"Phaya, move," Khem urged him from behind. Giving Khem a look, Phaya moved to the end of the line. Finding an empty table at the hall's far end, he sat down eyeing the tray of food before him, with food portions standardized for trainees following a specific diet plan.
Phaya ate his lunch, attempting to chew the sticky rice while reminiscing about how every year, a friend of his grandma who owns a farm would send crates of fresh mangoes. Him and his sister would always quarrel for the juiciest ones. If he managed to snag one, he would tease her by eating it in the messiest way possible.
Maybe this is karma for teasing Nee when we were young.
Deciding to save the mango for last, he focused on the chicken curry instead, grateful it tasted better than the vegetarian stew served the day before.
Tharn, Khem, Yai, and Thongthai approached his table, sitting down with their lunch trays. Phaya smiled at them and continued eating, while Yai and Tharn shared stories of a festival in their hometown.
As Phaya scooped up the last bite of rice, he saw Khem reach out to his tray and offer him his share of mango slices. Phaya stared at him in awe, then noticed Thongthai, Yai, and Tharn doing the same.
At a loss for words, he looked around at his friends, all of whom had smiles on their faces.
"Aww, Phaya, stop looking at us like that!" Yai jabbed him in the ribs. "It looks like you're about to cry."
"I love you guys," Phaya said wholeheartedly and dove into the pile of mango slices on his tray.
Busy enjoying his favorite treat, he missed what Yai was about to say. "Ay Phaya, it was Tharn who... Ouch!" Yai winced.
Phaya looked at Yai in confusion. "What?" he asked.
Tharn spoke up while gathering his now empty tray. "Nothing. He was rambling about something. We're gonna go, we... have to practice... questions! For the pre exam." He tilted his head at his friends, and they all got up and left, one after another.
Phaya tried to recall what Yai was saying but stopped when he felt all eyes on his tray. He quickly finished the fruits and made a hasty exit before someone could tip off the trainers.
---/---/---
Back in their dorm hall, Yai yelled at Tharn, "Hey, Tharn! Did you have to kick my feet that hard?" rubbing his toes that were now red, while Tharn furrowed his brows, searching for balm to soothe his friend.
"Khao thot, Yai, I just don't want him to find out it was me," Tharn apologized earnestly, extending his hands to Yai.
A hoot echoed from Thongthai and Khem's bunk, and Tharn rolled his eyes as they approached Yai giggling like children, bearing an ice pack.
Khem playfully poked Tharn in the ribs. "Tharn, you look so cute trying to impress your crush..."
"...making such a big sacrifice of your share of mango slices and threatening your friends to do the same!" Thongthai teased him, dramatically fanning himself, extracting laughter from Yai.
"Okay, okay, just don't tell Phaya. Please," Tharn laughed along, taking a seat opposite Yai's bed.
Khem inquired taking a seat beside Yai, "By the way, how did you know he likes mangoes?"
Tharn tilted his head, genuinely puzzled about how he knew Phaya liked mangoes. "I don't know. I just assumed, I guess."
Khem and Thongthai nodded, and Yai interjected, "Are we all going to talk about Phaya? Can't you see I'm injured?" He tried his best to give them puppy eyes.
"Oh, Yai! You're such a drama queen!" Khem laughed as he pressed the ice pack onto his feet.
---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---
More fics? reblog this with what tropes you want for Sapuna and Wansarut!
---/---/---
Guide
Sapuna - Phaya's name in past life as a Garuda
Wansarut - Tharn's name in past life as a Nagini
Naga - A creature from Hindu and Thai mythology who has magical powers and can shapeshift into a Serpant
Nagini - Females of Naga clan.
Garuda Lok - The realm of Lord Garuda
Naga Lok - Realm of the Nagas
Phi Saoo - older sister in thai
nong saoo - younger sister in thai
Khapyn kha - Thank you in thai
Khao Thot - Sorry in thai
---/---/---
Taglist (i tagged everyone who replied and reblogged part one pls dm if you want to be added/removed to this taglist)
@tuturuue | @asiandramas-takeover | @iggiogyfy9yf9 | @alienbi | @chaos0pikachu | @findthebluesky | @starryalpacasstuff | @elmindredaniq | @maxescheibechlinichacheli | @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas | @kurosawascrowsfeet | @blneobin | @25shadesoffebruary | @blue-grama
#the sign the series#fic#the sign bl#bl drama#bl series#thai bl#thai drama#phaya x tharn#phayatharn#au fanfiction#thai series#asianlgbtqdramas#bl fanfic#happypopcornprincess writes#forbidden romance
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I was tagged by @junkissed and @hannieween and @shadowkoo to do this and it looks like a lot of fun so I decided to give it a go! this game was started by the amazing june so be sure to check out her post as well!
My blog turned 6 years old this past June. Two of those years I was absent but I've been back consistently for 2 years again. This year has been a wild ride. I've seen more activity this year, made a bunch of new friends, joined new networks, and even added some new groups and soloists to my repertoire. I feel comfortable in my writing but am always looking to improve.
Thank you to everyone who has followed, liked, reblogged, commented, and sent messages this year! Your feedback means more to me than you could possibly know. I can't wait to see what 2025 has in store for not only me but for all of us!
「 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 ����𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 」
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»» Emotional Support | chapter 3 of Under Your Skin »» posted jan 18 »» author's notes: this is a series I haven't touched in almost a year. I'd really like to come back to it but the inspiration just isn't there. Hopefully I can come back soon since this series is still new and in the early chapters.
「 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 」
»» Thrill of the Chase | Kinktober Day 29 »» date posted oct 29 »» author's notes: originally I wasn't sure if I wanted to make the MC in this a rabbit hybrid but I'm glad that I ended up going with the chipmunk hybrid instead. This fic was meant to be equal parts fun and slightly thrilling as he stalks her through their house. I mean, who wouldn't want Choi San hunting them through their shared house?
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「 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 」
»» Of Hellfire & Saints 01 • 02 | Library of Illusion // 50.2k »» posted sept 11 & 13 »» author's notes: the fic so long, I had to split it into two posts. This one just got away from me but there was a lot I wanted to happen in this part and it never occurred to me to split Hongjoong's origin story into three parts. I never expected it to get to fifty thousand words either. This Library of Illusion universe that I've created is among my favorite universes on my blog. I love all of the lore and background of each character. Hopefully in the new year, I can finish Seonghwa's and continue on to the sequel series.
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「 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 」
»» Sweet Temptations | CoDNet Spring Event '24 // 1.5k notes »» posted jun 4 »» author's notes: originally one of three planned entries for the Language of Flowers event for CoDNet, I ended up only being able to do this one and I'm very proud of it. I didn't expect it to get as much attention as it did because let's face it, longer fics don't get a lot of attention on this site, but we've long since established that I am almost incapable of writing less than 10k. Almost. I love the characters in this, I love the open and honest communication between the main characters and I love the inclusion of visual details like the sticky note and the letter. I plan to use those more often because they're just so fun!
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「 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 」
»» Aphrodisia | alien!Minho // 5.4k »» posted oct 25 »» author's notes: what originally started as just a singular oneshot for my 2023 Kinktober Creature Feature has since grown into something else. This is a sequel to that piece but not a direct sequel. This universe has also grown into something I never expected. The world building I put into the first oneshot has carried over and will continue to carry over in the series when they come out. I love Minho's species, I love the details, and I love everything about Minho and MC's relationship.
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「 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 」
🥇 Hongjoong | 83.7k 🥈 Seonghwa | 28.4k 🥉 Jihoon | 21.5k »» author's notes: if you had asked me at the beginning of the year who I would write the most words for, none of these faces would have come to mind. I had been struggling to write for Hongjoong and Seonghwa for the first half of the year and then came August and with it, the Ateez tour in my neck of the woods which I got free tickets for. (Thank you again Nox). That concert send my brain into overdrive and as soon as I was home and recovered from covid, I got to work. I wrote all of The Witch & the Lamb as well as Of Hellfire & Saints by listening to Halazia and This World on repeat. It made my brain go brrrrrr.
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「 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 」
»» total no. of fics: 31 »» total wc of 2024: 230.8k »» author's notes: I've never kept track of my fic stats for one year so I have nothing to compare this to but I will be keeping track from now on because this is interesting to see written down. I've averaged 630 words per day so I'd like to see how next year goes and see if I increase or decrease.
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「 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 」
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In 2025, I'd like to get back into a couple of my series that are on hiatus as well as improve my overall story telling. I'd also like to be more consistent in my upload schedule and actually stick to a schedule for once. I'd also love to interact with my readers again. While engagement is up on my works, interaction is not and I'd like to see that change in the coming year. I also plan to celebrate my latest milestone at the beginning of 2025.
tagging these few folks and anyone else who wants to participate but hasn't been tagged and sees this. you can say I tagged you
@yoonguurt @nebulousbrainsoup @yuncheoligans @ddeonghwa-s
@ja3hwa @anyamaris @jinhyun @moonjxsung @ncteez @binniebeams
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I’m so sorry for your loss❤️ I hope you have a good healing period and you should know that she’s looking from above and felt loved and cherished every moment of her life. Take your sweet time, nobody has the right to judge you for it🫶🏻
Thank you so much for your words.
I also want to thank everyone who sent me condolences messages. Thank you all for the support and love. I will be still away for some time, but I truly wanted to let you guys know that I am the most grateful for your kindness. Grief is a difficult thing for me, grief is all the love that has no place to go now. And I’m trying my hardest to come to terms with it. Thank you for keeping Lilah in memory and wishing her a good travel through the rainbow bridge ❤️
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One ask about the Vil drawing from yesterday, one very sweet ask, and one ask that made me think about the logistics of human/dragon sex…
Anonymous asked:
Fuck yeah, child murder
I support Vil's right to just fucking kill people
HE DESERVED IT! This is his stress relief. Vil “I’d never kill somebody unless they pissed me off” Schoenheit.
Although I think it’s very cute that he came back to his senses very quickly in the story. Poor Vil was just shocked that a kid could be this rude to him…
Anonymous asked:
I think I already sent an ask like some time ago, but I feel like it is a good time to state again how enjoyable it is to visit this blog. None of my irl friends are into twst, and I'm too awkward to make friends through fandom/social media, so your blog has been one of the main ways to talk and hear about the silly mage guys. Also I've always loved to touch on mature themes in my favourite fandoms, so I'm glad I can always come here for that.
Anyway, it's been a blast, so I thank you two very much for the great time I've had until now! Your work has helped me a lot!
Dear Anon! Thank you so much for your incredibly sweet message, it means so much. I am very happy that you’re here with us and that you’re having fun here.
It really does mean a lot that us doing all those self-indulgent things could help you on any level. Messages like this one really help us too; whenever things get hard and the pressure starts affecting us and our enjoyment of posting stuff, it makes us feel so much better knowing that we’re not just screaming into the void, and that there are people who find comfort or enjoyment in things that we do.
So thank you once again for sticking around and being kind <3
Anonymous asked:
HIII I HOPE YOU TWO ARE WELL!!!!! Love both your art and storytelling and you guys are probably the reason why I write dark content now🙏
I come with a question hehe
Does Dragon Malleus ever get a proper dick down by Lilia or Sebek or does he have to suffer and get himself off with his tail always😔
Hi Anon!! <3 Thank you so much for your kind words and for liking both our art and storytelling, that’s so cool to hear! Sorry for possibly turning you into a dark content enjoyer lol I’m happy you like it though!
Poor Dragon Malleus probably doesn’t get as much attention, but not because everyone is very mean, but because it’s pretty difficult to have big enough space that is also discreet enough + have enough time to do it. He probably has to fly his suitor to his date spot of choice whenever he wants it to happen… 🤔
But Lilia does treat him sometimes! He is probably currently the one and only person in the world who is qualified enough to satisfy a big hungry dragon lol He has experience… And let’s just say, it’s more energy consuming that any regular kind of fucking because you kind of need to get creative and active sometimes…. Unfortunately, just using a dick isn’t really enough.
Sebek has never been entrusted with such an important task before, but Malleus and Lilia both know that it’s going to happen one day, and that Lilia would have to train Sebek and teach him everything about the way Malleus loves to be pleasured in his dragon form. Sebek has no clue yet… But he’ll do his best!! His dick isn’t as big as Lilia’s, but his limbs are longer and his body is larger and heavier, so Malleus is going to enjoy him once he’s ready.
Oh right, Malleus’ tail. He likes its shape and size, but he the thought of doing it to himself is too depressing. But… he does get lonely and horny, so he entertains the idea sometimes…
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The Prime Mover
They announced that he was going to get married. But she wasn't his Prime Mover. Her heart broke in a million pieces. There was more to the story that just a simple betrayal.
Pairing : Terzo x Female reader. (Goes wrong.)
Word count: 6k.
Warnings: Use of Y/n. Angst. Feels. Hurt no comfort for now. Terzo acts like an asshole. Also, sad terzo. Arrange marriage. Reader is completely heartbroken.
A.N : Well, I wrote this while being in a dark place for a couple of days. I'm planning on making this a Three piece story, and yes I will give it a happy ending because I'm not that cruel. I made my self cry while writing this. A special thanks to @hauntedboobees who has been supporting me all week with her wonderful coments 💕 I love this community so much 😭 💕
She woke up feeling like something bad was going to happen, the whole week had been an emotional torture for her, first the fight between her and Terzo at the begging of the week, then the cold shoulder and useless attempts of talking and lastly the fact that he hadn't called her to his room in all week. They were not lovers...but everyone in the ghoul den said that they were, this "friends with benefits'' arrangement had been going for a whole year, and since maybe five or six months the ghouls decided to call them Mr and Ms devile ( Yes as in Cruella devile ) after they matched a black and white outfit for a party once. They always joked about how much of a couple they were and how Terzo seemed to be "tamed" by her. She played off like a joke each time, she was good at lying to herself. She knew that she had a lot of feelings for him, and before the fight she could swear that he felt something for her more than lust. Her heart weighs a ton inside of her right now, she knew that it was stupid to catch feelings...but no one saw how he behaved with her , how much he seemed to care about her, how sweet and loving he could be when they were alone resting in his bedroom....She wanted to believe that her feelings were not one sided.
As she dressed she found a necklace that he gave to her for her birthday, a golden inverted cross with an amethyst in the middle, the purple and gold combination that was completely him, a piece of him to make her company when he was away. She put on the necklace and left the room before her roommates. Omega sent her a message about meeting to talk before the morning mass in the chapel so she went a bit early.
As soon as she arrived, omega approached her, he had a worried expression concerned about something.
— Y/N ...We need to talk... I want you to understand that no matter what happens today you will always be a part of the ghoul den, you can come and go around as much as you want to...And that we are going to be by your side if you need us...—His voice tone seemed a bit agitated, and he was talking like there's something horrible going on.
— What's going on Omega...you are scaring me...—She tried to brush off the feeling in omega with a sweet smile. — Oh come on if you say it because of the fight between me and ter..I mean, Papa. It's fine at some point we are going to talk about it, we always do...And I'm not mad at him he had been acting weird that's all...
— Please...promise me that whatever happens today you will come to us if you need support...we are your friends too ...—He couldn't brush off the feeling so easily, she was so clueless...
— Support in what? Come on Omega spill it, you are acting weird too...I swear if it is just because the fight that we had is getting a bit too much....
— ...y/n...Today at the mass they are going to announce...
—OMEGA! —Terzo's voice echoed in the chapel. The ghoul turned around to face him, his expression was a mix between sadness and anger towards the man he calls not only boss but also friend. — You should not be alone here with the sister, morning mass is about to start and you need to prepare the equipment...
— Oh come on...What's going on between you two? ...And you are going to ignore me today too? ....it wasn't that big of a fight...come on...—She went to touch his hand but as soon as she touched him, he grabbed her hand and moved it away from him, without any word.
— Sister, you should be preparing yourself for....—His eyes darted to the necklace in her chest, his heart ached so hard that he needed a moment to keep talking.— If you have time for being so early here, you should be helping your sisters arrange the seats and cleaning before the mass don't you think?...—He looked at Omega — and you, follow me...
— Terzo this is...—The ghoul protested , but a fierce look of his boss shut him.— I'm so sorry y/n....—He left with the head of the church , she felt her heart stinging. What's going on? He was so mad at her that he was going to break their friendship over a stupid fight?...
She went to help as he told her, the hour went by and mass was ready to start, but this mass seemed weird...Everyone was there, Cardinal Copia ( who she believed was the most charming shy man she had ever met.) Papá Nihil, Papá Primo, Papá secondo, the upper clergy and Sister Imperator, there was another sister in the front with the rest, seated next to Terzo. She had seen her a couple of times during the last three months, she was from a congregation in Italy, maybe she was close to the Emeritus family or something and that's why she was seated there. A family friend.
After the beginning of the mass and the morning sermon from Primo, sister imperator went in front and spoke to the congregation.
— Sisters and Brothers in sin...You know how hard the work of our dark lord is, you know that in this path of sacrifice and hard work we need to help our community to grow, the Emeritus line also needs to grow along the community...So, I want to give everyone of you the great news, Our beloved papa Emeritus the Third had finally found his Prime Mover...Sister Verona, from our congregation in Italy...
She felt the air in her lungs escape without a sound, her stomach dropped and her heart felt crushed by a ton of stones. His prime mover...his future wife, mother of his children....the engines in her heart began to work, it was this the reason behind his behavior last week, she knew that they did not shared an exclusivity contract or something like that...but she also knew that he had not engaged in anything with other sisters since they make that agreement of friends with benefits, she couldn't call him unfaithful but she could scold him for not telling her? He was going to make it seem like she doesn't exist just for his future wife? Even their friendship?
The roar of applause and screams of joy brought her back to reality. She looked right at him, he couldn't even look at her. He went to the microphone and thanked everyone in the chapel for their congratulations. He gave a speech about how love was important among the brothers and sisters, the bond they shared together and how they met.
— And since three months ago I knew that she was the one for me...
And that was the final straw...she felt how her heart fell in pieces inside of her, her chest ached, her mind was running wild with memories about them in the last three months, the kisses, the softness, they late night conversations, the movie nights at the den...her hopes of him feeling the same as her. Some sisters looked right in her direction, they shared the same sad look on their faces towards her. They were her roommates, the friends that knew about her deal with him and knew how much he meant to her. Omega also looked at her along with the other ghouls, even Primo and Secondo seemed shocked by the news and looked at her for a moment. Everything that she could hear was white noise, her surroundings became blurry as the tears stung her eyes without falling, she was not going to cry...not in front of him, even if he didn't even look in her direction. Her body felt stiff, she was shaking a bit, the sister who was seated next to her asked softly if she felt alright or if she was a bit sick. She took the opportunity...she said that she felt a bit sick and stranded up slowly, terzo looked right at her at that moment, their eyes locking for a moment. Her heartbroken expression, her eyes filled with tears. He looked away and looked at his Prime mover, in a quick movement he kissed her, right in front of everybody. She looked away as soon as their lips touched, she couldn't handle it anymore...she left the chapel quickly, without wanting anyone to look at her.
As soon as she was outside the chapel the tears began to fall, she wanted to scream. To yell to Lucifer if her fate was fair, didn't she give enough?... didn't she deserved to be happy along the one she loved?...She felt betrayed...all was a lie, all of the sweet words, all of the late night kisses and cuddles, all of the nights in them both confessed their deepest fears, when he calmed down after a meltdown , when she gave him strength after a huge fight between him and his dad...She felt stupid. A stupid girl with stupid feelings...how could she have been so dumb? How did she think that he could really fall in love with her?...She was nothing special, even since the first time he flirted with her she had her doubts. But after so many nights in his arms, letting herself go into lust and pleasure guided by him...alongside him she started to believe that she was indeed desirable and beautiful. He looked at her with such adoration sometimes that she felt like the eighth wonder of the world. But that also felt like a dirty lie right now....She was so stupid, so incredibly dumb.
Inside of the chapel Omega moved his feet impatiently, he saw her left, he knew that she most probably was in incredible pain right now. He needed to go and see her, she was his friend, the rest of the ghouls were asking themselves what happened, how did this happen? Who was she? Why did Terzo lie all this time then? Why when they both seemed so good together? And the poor sister...her face when they kissed it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch. They were all mad at him at the moment, how could he? Omega looked right at Terzo, he catched a glimpse of sadness in his eyes as he looked to the door....
She walked without a specific direction...she saw the big entrance door and thought for a minute in fleeing away...but where? She had no one...she only had the church, she couldn't leave. She kept walking, her crying made echo in the empty halls of the church, she felt crumbling slowly, her cries were getting more and more emotional, less controlled, she looked at the hallway that went to the ghoul den..and she walked straight to the door and entered, she knew that no one was going to be there. No one entered without the ghouls permission, but she was so used to going there that she didn't mind being found inside, she went to the living room of the den and let herself rest on the big sofa. She cried for what seemed hours until she fell asleep from pure exhaustion.
Inside the chapel, as soon as the mass ended the ghouls went looking for her in every room of the abbey, her room, the garden, the second chapel, the practice room, even terzo's room...but she was nowhere to be found, they became progressively more worried as the clock went by. Omega went to Terzo's office and entered just to find him there, looking at the window with no expression at all.
— I hope you are happy...—He spit in anger— You broke her Terzo...She loved you! Did you even look at her!?
— ....What did you wanted me to do?...It's the way that things are...I never expected her to put such a show in front of everyone, I never expected her to caught feelings...that was her mistake not mine....— He was doing his best effort to not break in front of the ghoul, the weight of his lies and his aching heart were making everything more difficult
— Don't fucking lie to me, you were the one that told me how much you wanted her to be only yours, how did you have this big travel prepared just for the two of you. What the fuck...
— I was going to make her life miserable!! I was trying to save her!! Do you think that they care about me being Papa!? Do you think that I have any real power here!? I'm their fucking puppet!! I'm just a piece of their game! I'm just a fucking marionette being pulled by my own father and Imperator! I don't have a fucking choice!! ....—He snapped, his rage was big, as big as his pain. His eyes burned with tears that could not fall out. — ...they were going to make her life a living nightmare....
— You are exaggerating Boss.....I know that you would do anything to protect her but this is too much..
—.I'm not exaggerating....Verona is part of an old family like ours...her family has enough money and influence in the Vatican city, enough for us to steal the sacred books that we need...it's a fucking arrange marriage...once again , I'm just useful if I'm being manipulated by my father...
— Why you didn't say anything?...about this marriage being a fucking power move from your family?....You are my boss but...we are friends Terzo...we could have tried to find another solution...
—There was no other solution Omega...This is something that I had to do quickly...make sure that everyone knew that we were going to tie the knot..
— That's why you kissed sister Verona in front of y/n?...I got the arranged marriage part but...you totally broke her with that ...
—....I did it because I want her to hate me...if she hates me it will be easier for her...it will be easier for me to not lose my mind and go to her room begging for her forgiveness...begging for her to be with me...If she hates me , I can love her from far away knowing that she will never look at me in the way that I crave ...—He looked at his desk, in one of the drawers there was a little Jack Skellington plush that she gave to him for his birthday. He recalled how she told him that it reminded her of him, how happy she was when he kept him in his office. He grabbed the little plush and placed it on his chest, close to him. It still smelled like her...like the woman that he truly loved but could never have.
— .... Please terzo...there has to be something that we can do, they cannot force you to marry her...
—They can, and believe me they will.....can I ask you one more thing? Not as your boss but as a friend....please take care of her.
— You need to tell her the truth....
— I can't....I can't....No one can ...Imperator would kill me if she found out I fucked up her plan..—He left the plushie on his drawer carefully, as it was now his most priced possession. The only reminder that she loved him and that he loved her— ...leave me alone...
— Terzo....—Omega disobeyed and hugged him, he knew now that he was going through the same pain and heartache. He left the youngest of the Emeritus resting in his chest, he didn't hear him cry, but the way in which his shoulders shivered was the clear signal of his emotions.
No one said a word, it wasn't necessary, for Omega this was the time that he needed to be there for Terzo, not his boss, his friend...the one who was always so flashy, so flamboyant and a master of sweeping sisters and brothers of their feets with just one look, one smirk. The always so confident Terzo, behind doors was another human being, not so confident, filled with rage and anger, filled with self hatred that followed him as a dark cloud, he felt useless most of the time, the massive amounts of pressure, the relationship with his family, the void left by his mostly absent mother... There were only a few beings on this planet who knew the whole Truth behind the confidence of the young emeritus, Copia and Omega were his closest friends, the ones that tried to make him avoid the fall each time he was closer to break. For omega this was so painful to watch, he never thought of seeing his friend and boss so heartbroken. He needed to do something...he knew that the pain could drive both of them crazy.
Outside the office the ghouls still looked around trying to find her, Mountain went to the den to look for his comfortable shoes in case he needed to go up the hill outside the abbey to find her, that's when he found her. Curled up in a ball on the sofa , her face was puffy and red...He knew that she had been crying her eyes out. He called the rest of the ghouls, no one wanted to wake her up, Mountain took her to his bed and let her rest there, covering her with some blankets as the other ghouls talked in the living room.
— ....She is in severe pain...—Sunshine sighed— I can feel it... completely heart broken...
— ....Why did Terzo do that?...He seemed so in love with her some weeks ago....— Cirrus replied looking to mountain who had a concerned and thoughtful expression.
— There is something really sketchy going on...We know that our boss is a womanizer, but he seemed really...in love with her...This is completely out of character even for him...—Mountain replied and took a seat. — Our priority is her right now...Sunny, can you take care of her? Let's make her stay a couple of days here...
— It's okay...I will take care of her, but what are we going to say to Imperator if she starts looking for her?...
—She is sick, that's all...Do you think Copia knows something about this? He is also close to terzo...Secondo and Primo seemed as surprised as us...
—....You don't have to do anything guys....— Y/n entered the living room, she seemed small, her always bright and big personality was nowhere to be seen, she had puffy eyes , and his nose was still a bit red. She tried to brush her fingers and fix her robe before walking to the door. — I'm sorry for...crashing here, I'm going to my room...
— Stay here... Sweetheart you are wasted, we can go to look for your things right cumulus?
— Yeah...Cirrus and I will bring your things here so you can stay for a couple of days...
— I'm fine...just....Don't pity me, it's stupid....I'm just a stupid girl who let a complete womanizer make me believe that it was worth the try...—She responded with no emotion at all.— I'm going to my room, I need to sort something out...and please, don't try to do something....It is what it is...
— Please y/n...we know that...it's too much too soon...but we are here for you if you need us...stay here at least tonight, we can watch movies and eat something tasty...— Sunshine hugged her, she let herself rest a bit in the ghoulette, after a long breath she smiled a bit, defeated but honest.
— Thank you guys.... really, I will...I'm going for a couple of my stuff and then after dinner I can come to stay the night...I just need a moment...
— We get it....—Mountain kissed her forehead, they all had a soft spot for the sister, she was kind and always treated them with respect and care. To everyone in the den,seeing her like that was a worry. A huge worry.
She went back to her room and began to pack a couple of things in a small backpack, her pajamas and some clothes. Her roommates understood her decision and decided to help her do her chores for a couple of days. She undressed and changed her clothes to something more casual and comfortable. As she moved some things around she looked herself in the mirror, the necklace adorning her neck was a reminder of broken promises and lies. After packing and organizing some stuff she left the room, took the necklace off and went to his office. She was going to return the piece of jewelry to its owner.
As she made her way to Terzo's office her heart felt heavy, she was nervous but she needed to let it go as fast as she could....and that was a start.
— Excuse me Papa...—She entered without knocking, not that she cared anyway.
He tensed up seeing her. What was she doing there?...He could not let his feelings control him, he needed to be strong, he needed to be cold towards her. He needed to protect her even from him.
— What are you doing here?....I guess that by now it is pretty obvious that our arrangement is over. —He tried to not look at her eyes directly, his expression was stoic. Even when his insides were burning.
— I know....That's why I came. —She walked to his desk and left the necklace on top of it. — This is yours....Your precious future wife is going to look amazing with it.
— It was a gift...there is no use in getting it back. It belongs to you...
— I don't want it anymore...If you don't want it either throw it in the trash...—She was trying her best to be calm and show little to no emotion, but slowly it was breaking. So many times in that office seared on his lap, kissing and talking, working together...eating together sometimes when the work was too much to get out to eat...She was about to leave everything in that office forever. Starting with him.
— ...You are leaving?....—He saw the small backpack and the way in which she was dressed. His heart ached by the mere thought of her leaving...his egoist desire of keeping her at least in the abbey, the masochistic desire of torturing his soul looking at her from a distance...
— Something like that, not that you care....it seems that you never did anyway....
— ...y/n....
— No no, I know I'm being petty....and I know for a fact that I was stupid. Stupid enough to believe in your fucking lies, stupid enough to believe in your words....— Her feelings ended up slipping, she couldn't hold them any longer. She needed to let the pain out in some way. — Stupid enough to believe that you were interested in me... —Her voice broke as tears fell slowly from her eyes to her jaw, her hands shook a bit as she looked right at him trying not to scream or throw something. The rage of feeling betrayed, the pain that she felt in her heart for losing him, the feeling of being used.
— I'm not a liar... — He felt how the guilt and pain sunk his heart. He wanted so badly to hug her, to make her stop crying and tell her that he loved her, that he was doing all of this because he wanted to protect her. That it was all a scheme , a plan...that if he had any chance of living another life with her he would do it....
—....You are....And you know what it worst than you being a liar? Me believing in everything that you did...The kisses, the nights making love to each other....I loved you....that is what hurt the most...I fucking fell in love with you against all odds of the two being something some day. I wanted to believe in you!....—She raised her voice a bit, and immediately after she stopped talking. She took a deep breath and let some of the anger flow again inside of her, she was not going to make a scandal there, she was not going to give him the chance to see her completely broke. She just turned around and walked towards the exit.— I'm not going to return here, so don't worry about me. I will not tell a soul of this...and I hope that you have a happy marriage, and that all of the things that you did were worth it....Goodbye Terzo. —She left the office and went walking again, she lighted up a cigarette she stole from Dewdrop and got outside to the garden, as soon as she sat she began crying...she felt so defeated.
As she was crying her heart out in the garden, a soft woman's voice approached her, seemingly worried.
— Are you okay?...— As soon as she looked up she realized that the one asking for her was sister Verona...terzo's prime mover. She wanted to scream at her for a bit...but she was not guilty, most probably she didn't even know about her existence.
—....I'm just heartbroken...don't worry about me...
— Piccolina, you seem like a train went over you, it had to be the biggest heartbreak huh?....I'm so sorry, is there anything that you need right now?
She was so beautiful....and so nice. She was sure that she would become a great prime mover, a great mother, a great companion for the leader of the church. She felt envious, how could she ever stand a chance competing with someone like her?...
— Don't be...I'm going to be fine....
— You sure will! Look at you woman...you are beautiful, and you seem nice. I'm sure that you will meet the one, as our dark lord guides your path...
— I'm sure I will....— It was cruel and comic at the same time, the irony of being comforted by the woman that is going to marry the man that you loved, the poor thing without even knowing that you are crying for the man she is going to make a life with. — You already found yours, haven't you?....Papa nonetheless...
— Oh...yeah....how charming isn't it?....—Her demeanor seemed sarcastic when talking about him. She was about to talk a bit more until she looked at the clock in the entry of the garden. — Oh merda..I have a meeting and I'm already late....take care sweet girl, and don't shed tears for an asshole who did not appreciate the wonderful woman that you are...Good bye sister....
— Y/n...sister y/n....— She replied as she saw how she was trying to guess her name.
Verona could swear that she had heard that name before, and she seemed quite familiar...But she couldn't get quite there yet to remember where or with who.
— Goodbye sister y/n!..
Verona walked fast to Terzo's office, she was pretty tired but wanted to finish all of this misery business as soon as possible...A arranged marriage, in this era..
It was stupid. She adored Terzo...as a friend. She never felt anything for the guy more than friendship and a sweet care, they had meet each other years ago in Italy when the man was a boy and he was studying for becoming a priest in the church of Satan...Being son of the Emeritus bloodline was a lot of pressure, and she understood him being herself subject of big pressure by her own family name and fame.
The friendship grew easily, they got along well....but an arranged marriage was too much. But what could she do?....her family was hoping for a marriage...
— Terzo are you there?....—She walked in the office, he was seated holding something in his hand, totally lost in his thoughts.. — We need to talk....
— About what?... How are we going to name our future kids or what?...—He replied harshly, he felt bad in doing so, he knew that it wasn't her fault either...
—....We cannot marry and you know it...we are never going to work , and it's stupid....our families are friends if they need the books so much they just need to ask...
— It's a plan by our fathers and you know it...—He sighed and left the necklace on top of some papers. — ...at least it's you...it could have been a complete stranger...
— Yeah....it could had been...—She looked to the necklace, and then it hit her...The girl crying, it was the same one that she saw in Terzo's office a couple of months ago, it was the same girl that was on his backstage when she was talking with Copia...the owner of the necklace. — You know...there was a sister crying in the garden...—She looked at him and took the necklace — She told me that someone broke her heart...the poor thing was crying her eyes out while smoking outside...
—....Yeah?...— He tensed a bit, it could be her?..— Poor girl....
— Yeah...Sister y/n......The owner of this piece of jewelry... isn't it?....— His eyes opened in surprise, she tied the loose threads so easily, she saw behind his masked emotions with such ease— Oh terzo....you broke her heart?...are you the one she is crying about?...this is...because of me?....
—This is not your fault Verona...it's mine...I was a coward and....pushed her away...
— She doesn't know that this is arranged? ...what did you tell her?...
—I planned a fight....then I just ignored her until today....— Confessing this to her felt so relieving and at the same time made him feel so ashamed— Did you talk with her?....
— I did! Now I felt terrible....poor thing...Me there trying to cheer her up and I'm one of the reasons she is crying!...How could you possibly not tell me that you were with her!?....and how you possibly could have done that to her! Terzo....you are better than that....
— I'm not...I'm just a puppet in this play...
— That's it....I'm tired of this bullshit..—She put the necklace in her pocket and before he could stop her she turned around and looked directly into his eyes. — You are a fucking grown up terzo, you are papa! Do something!...Don't let her go if you love her you idiot...
She left the room and went again to the garden, hoping to find her, but she was nowhere to be found.
She was outside the building, she went for a coffee outside, alone. She looked at the buildings that were close to the abbey, could she ever leave the church?...She was going to be able to live with him and his image lurking over her everyday?...She didn't knew what to do, she wanted to leave but had nowhere to go, she wanted to stay but she knew that seeing him every day was going to kill her slowly...
As she walked to the coffee shop she felt someone calling her from a car, she got closer to it to reveal the sweet Cardinal Copia. Dressed much less formal and elegant, he looked casual and comfortable.
— It's freezing, do you want to go for a ride instead?....—They both laughed a bit, she got up in the car and thanked him. — No worries...How are you feeling?...— She knew that he was aware of the situation, she could trust him.
— Honestly?....I felt like shit. Like someone stomped on my heart and broke it in thousands of sharp pieces...
—....I know this gorgeous place , it's a bit far from here...Let me make a call and we can go if you like...they have an amazing Italian coffee....
— I would love to....Thanks Cardinal....
— I'm a bit down also, we could use some good company don't you think?...—He called Sister Imperator. — Sister, yeah...Oh no no, don't worry I'm okay, I'm going to take a bit more. I'm going to look for some things....Si Si, church things....Si, do you want a cinnamon roll for your noon coffee? Si , si...Thank you sister, byeee...—He looked at her with a smile.— Well...off we go, put in your seat belt please...
— Thank you Cardinal...for real....—She smiled at him and let her head rest on the window. Looking outside, the day was beautiful, but to her it seemed toned down.
— There's nothing to thank sister, you need to clear your mind...Sorry if I overstep but...Did you talk with Terzo?...
— Well...No, yeah.... something like that, I just.... yelled at him and left....I can't believe that I was just a fool...
— You are not... You are in love Piccolina, and ...I believe that he is in love with you too...Hear me out, please....This could sound a bit weird but, Verona is not interested at all in him, and this feels too rushed...even for Terzo. Something doesn't fit well...
— Oh Cardinal...you are just trying to cheer me up....
— Piccolina, I'm not. I swear, Verona has been my friend since we were kids, if she was going to get married I would have known....Secondo and Primo didn't know either...This seems off to everyone...
—Well....maybe he just didn't have the balls to tell me about it...Either way, We are nothing at this moment...He is going to get married and...I will have to live with it....
— Do you really love him?...
— .....I do....It's stupid, we were just friends...and then we thought that it was a great idea become friend with benefits ... But oh cardinal...he was so sweet with me...He helped me so much, he held me in his arms so many times when I couldn't sleep at night, I was so in love with him...my heart is so broken...—She couldn't hold the tears, he kept driving but had one of his hands on her shoulder, comforting her.
— ...I can't promise that I will make things better, but I'm going to try Sister.... let's go for that coffee, you will love it.
They went for coffee, to the place that Copia has bragged so much, she saw from the window the abbey getting smaller and smaller in the distance. She tried to get her mind focused on other things, the beautiful greenery from the hills, the music that the Cardinal had in the car, the small talk between them.
She was determined to get over him, or die trying.
A.N: Heeey, I hope you enjoyed it. 💕 I know, it's sad and hurts a lot. But,.I wanted to change the focus of this type of fic in which they use the other woman as a threat or make her evil, in this story I wanted to make sister Verona a likeable character, to make clear that she is not the enemy or wants to hurt the reader. Again, thank you so much for the support and love 💕 And remember! Eat well, drink water and get some rest 💕
Tag list : @yuk-for-president @hauntedboobees @onedaughterofman @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @serene-sun @jbcalway If you want to be added to the tag list comment or reblog and I will add you 💕
#terzo ghost#ghost fanfiction#ghost the band#ghost bc fanfic#the band ghost fanfiction#papa emeritus fanfiction#terzo angst#terzo x y/n#terzo x reader#terzo x reader angst#angsty fic
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Author Discussion: (Please) Prove Me Wrong
OKAY buckle up, this is gonna be a LOT.
First, I’d like to thank everyone for reading and caring so damn much about Rinko and sending so many sweet messages in support of her while she was struggling so much. And for caring about both of them while they were both so damn miserable.
These two have BEEN THROUGH IT and unfortunately, we still have Shibuya coming 🙃
But, alas, here we are.
The rest will be under the cut!
You can read (Please) Prove Me Wrong on AO3 😊
And you can read the entire series: Another Level on AO3 as well! 💕
I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to do all of this, so we’re just gonna jump right in and try to do it by timeline 🙃
June/July
OOF. Alright, let’s fucking GET STARTED.
By this point, Gojo has been abroad for three weeks because he had a Special Grade job and he went to visit Yuuta afterward. He also knows that Rinko has been meeting with her father almost weekly for a few months, going on jobs for them in the private sector, but he doesn’t know the details of them.
Because she hasn’t told him.
Why does that matter? Why does he care? Because Rinko has never been this secretive with him before. Were this not so out of character for Rinko to do, he wouldn’t have cared. But they’ve always been so damn open with each other, that the sudden secrecy made him nervous. It pulled at his gut instinct that something was wrong. He didn’t even mind that she was keeping secrets, it was that she was trying to make it seem like she wasn’t.
Was he right in following her? No. And he knows he wasn’t. It was why he didn’t confront her to begin with, because he knew she would be mad and he knew she’d be right in being mad.
He also knew that she would likely think he’d followed her because he was jealous. But here’s the thing: he didn’t. Has he felt a bit jealous in the past? Absolutely. It’s human. But, especially since their little discussion back in Show Your Hand, he’s made a conscious effort to respect that boundary. You’ll notice that multiple times throughout (Please) Prove Me Wrong, he has the exact thought that he is well aware that they aren’t exclusive and Rinko can date whoever she wants, including Nanami. Even if he feels jealous, he is making a real effort to make sure that he doesn’t act on those feelings because he knows it wouldn’t be right or fair.
They weren’t fucking exclusive. They weren’t. Even if she and Nanami- it didn’t fucking matter. Because they weren’t exclusive. She’d lose her goddamn mind if she thought he was acting this way because of jealousy. He wouldn’t fucking blame her for it, either. It would be fucking stupid of him.
So let’s take a step back and assess the situation we’re sitting in.
Gojo is getting off a plane after three weeks of traveling for a job and checking on Yuuta, he’s been on who the hell knows how many flights trying to get back, he misses Rinko, because he hasn’t seen her in three weeks, and he gets a call from Ijichi giving him some of the worst possible news.
Remember how upset Gojo was last year when the higher-ups threatened Yuuta? They just did exactly what he’d been afraid of them doing. Finding a way to take out a kid because they were afraid of what would happen if they let him live.
Let’s take another step back for that one.
The events leading up to this. Why is Yuuji Sukuna’s vessel? He ate a finger. Why did he eat a finger? Because Megumi was getting the shit beaten outta him by a few Grade 2 curses and Yuuji wanted to help. Why was Megumi getting the shit beaten outta him? Because Gojo gave him the damn job to test him.
See where I’m going with this?
Rinko already gave him an earful for it. And he knows she was right. This is, essentially, his fault.
If he hadn’t sent Megumi alone to retrieve Sukuna’s finger, Yuuji wouldn’t have eaten it, and this never would have happened. But, he knows that he can’t think that way because it doesn’t fix the situation, and he can hear Rinko in his damn head telling him that thinking that way will only make things worse. But he can’t help it. Because a kid is dead.
On top of all of that, Gojo felt okay being gone for so long because Rinko was around. He trusted her to help the kid if he needed anything and he thought that she’d handle anything if it went wrong. But she doesn’t. She isn’t even called.
At this point, Gojo did not suspect her, not really. He knew the higher-ups were assholes and that they’d pull stupid shit like not call Rinko for the job. But then, what does Gojo do? He warps back. He can’t from that airport, so he sits on the damn flight and immediately warps from the next. In Let’s Get Lost, we learned that Gojo can make long-distance warps to places he’s familiar with (like Rinko’s apartment 😏) but that it drains him. Rinko noted that she remembered how exhausted Gojo looked after her exam because he’d warped back to Kyoto after arguing with the higher-ups. These warps can knock him out. But, instead of sleeping, what does he do? He stays up all night to try to figure out who the fuck got Yuuji killed.
He’s exhausted, he’s warped long-distance, he’s been up for more than a day, and what does he find out? Not who’s behind everything, but he finds out that not only were Nanami and Rinko both available, but they were together. Oh, why should that matter if he’s not being a jealous prick? The only two Grade 1 sorcerers who weren’t specifically on other jobs just happen to be together when a potential Special Grade is located and literal kids are sent in to exorcise it instead.
Suspect.
On top of that, the Zenin clan makes up a portion of the council. We can assume that Naobito and Ogi are both members and so we will. Gakuganji is a lapdog for the council as well. And who just happens to have very close ties with both of those? Rinko. Who has been meeting frequently with Naobito and doing jobs for him. And so, the really puzzle begins to form in front of him.
And you could see it happening in the first chapter of his perspective:
If she’d been with Nanami to keep him busy while Yuuji fucking died. While Gojo was too far away to even hope to make it back to save the kid. If he’d made a mistake. If he’d trusted her only for her to betray him. If he’d let himself fall for her.
He didn’t give a fuck if they were together under normal circumstances. But if it was to keep Nanami distracted or keep him from getting the call? It’s now an issue.
Alright, so he’s pissed off, he’s exhausted, he’s beginning to get suspicious, and wouldn’t ya know it? He gets a text from Rinko telling him she’s almost to Tokyo and she just saw the report. She’s not coming to Tokyo for a job, so why the fuck would she be on her way already? We learned in The Weight of Failure that she never just visits. She admits she’d never just visited him before, so why would he assume that’s what she was doing? She didn’t explicitly say that in the text because she didn’t feel the need because she doesn’t have a damn clue what’s going on, but it’s suspicious. She comes to his office and he tells her to leave for multiple reasons: he’s angry and he doesn’t want to end up yelling at her, he’s frustrated and exhausted and grieving, and he’s fucking confused. Normally, he would want her there because she comforts him, but after everything he’s learned in the past twelve or so hours, his sleep-deprived lil brain doesn’t know what to think.
Rinko then goes to see Shoko. And yes, they’re friends, that would make sense, wouldn’t it? Except when Shoko asks Rinko to stay in town for dinner, Rinko turns her down and leaves. We know that it’s because she feels empty and sad, but Gojo only knows that she went to see Shoko, where Yuuji’s body is, and then left. He doesn’t know anything other than that. So he continues digging even after Yuuji wakes up, deciding he’ll just find something that proves Rinko is innocent and then he’ll tell her about Yuuji.
But what happens next? Rinko gets promoted. To a Grade Rank that only the Zenin clan can get her. After she’s been meeting with them, after she wasn’t there when Yuuji died, after she’d likely been to verify the body. And again, that damn puzzle is fitting too well.
So now, Gojo is worried. Because he’s bought this woman a fucking ring because he’s realized he wants to spend the rest of his fucking life with her and now he’s terrified that he’s made a mistake because she knows so much about him. She knows so much about him and how to fight him, how to counter him.
While yes, he should have talked to her, he technically did. He called her. We didn’t see the call, but we know from both sides, the call didn’t go well.
Gojo was asking scattered questions because his brain was piecing things together and he needed answers; Rinko was ashamed and embarrassed about the deal, and also didn’t know most of the answers he needed.
And thus, their communication has really begun to crumble.
So he goes and he asks Utahime to investigate Kyoto instead of Rinko because now he can’t know for sure that it isn’t her. And then wouldn’t ya know it? Rinko is absent from Kyoto. Again, we know that it’s because she quit, but Gojo doesn’t and neither does Utahime.
Why didn’t Rinko tell Utahime? Because Rinko is avoiding everyone because she’s ashamed that she didn’t see the double-cross on her promotion coming. She’s angry at herself. And at this point, the only one who knows the extent of her deal, is Shoko. Why does Shoko know? Because she forced Rinko to tell her after Rinko calls her half-dead on the side of the road near the Zenin estate. We will get a look into that day through Shoko’s eyes in an upcoming installment.
And more pieces are clicking together.
Then, another cherry on top, Rinko knows he’s seen Yuuta, even though he never told anyone he was going, or had been, to see the kid. And because he’s already suspicious, it just adds to it. Oh, but why didn’t he just call Yuuta? Remember how he said he was beginning to not trust telling Yuuta sensitive information over the phone? He’s getting paranoid. And honestly? Rightfully so.
Oh, you’re probably wondering why Shoko didn’t tell Gojo about Rinko’s near death at Jinichi’s hands? Because Rinko made her promise not to. Rinko was ashamed and embarrassed and also didn’t want Gojo to start shit with the Zenin clan because she thought he was still upset over Yuuji’s death. And now, Shoko is stuck between two people who are keeping secrets from each other for the first time in years, who have both made her promise not to tell anyone.
Which is why she told Gojo to talk to Rinko.
August
By the time we get to August, we now know that he’s kept digging because he’s fucking hoping to find something that will prove Rinko is innocent, and - thanks to the Zenin clan - he isn’t. Because they planned for her promotion to cause a rift. But Yuuji’s death was just perfect to make it worse. He hasn’t seen Rinko since the day she asked how his visit was Yuuta was, and before that, he hadn’t seen her since the morning after Yuuji died. He misses her and he is still desperately hoping that everything he’s seeing isn’t right. BUT, because Shoko brought up Geto, he’s beginning to see similarities. Notice how his thoughts didn’t go to Geto at all before Shoko brought him up? He hadn’t made that connection. And now he’s even more distraught because he’s terrified that anyone who gets close to him will just betray him or he’ll lose them in some way. And remember how Geto died? Gojo had to kill him. So now in the back of his mind, he’s starting to wonder if he even could bring himself to do it. And he’s angry at himself because he realizes that he wouldn’t. He would likely let her kill him. And he’s trying to force himself to look past his feelings, his love for her, so that he’ll be able to protect people.
Like Nanami.
What was one of the first thoughts he had when Nanami told him Rinko had been there fighting Mahito? It’s a good thing Yuuji was there, because at least Nanami wasn’t alone with her and the Special Grade. And then he immediately scolds himself. Because Rinko wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t hurt Nanami. Not when she sees him like a brother.
Note: that Gojo knows how she views Nanami. He isn’t jealous at this point. He’s glad that the two have each other and it’s why he sent Nanami to Kyoto on the day of Geto’s Death Parade the year prior.
Anyway, where do his thoughts go from there? But Geto had been like Gojo’s brother. And he had been willing to hurt him. So, really anything is possible. And then his next thought? Shoko had put that damn idea in his head. Because he wouldn’t have connected Rinko to Geto were it not for Shoko saying something.
Because guess what guys, had he followed that line of ‘Rinko sees Nanami as a brother’ he’d likely have either called Rinko immediately, or gone to her apartment to just talk to her. Because that line of thought would have brought him back to what he knows about Rinko instead of comparing her to Geto.
Also, let’s note that because Nanami was so pissed that Gojo hadn’t told Rinko about Yuuji being alive, he didn’t mention that Mahito had destroyed her double and that was why she didn’t chase after him. Nanami forgot to tell him important information because he let his anger for his friend cloud his judgment just like Gojo was afraid he would. Because had Nanami said that her double had been destroyed and that the creepy fucker had said her soul was fragmented, Gojo would have immediately gone to check on her.
And then to make things even worse, Nanami assumes that Gojo is jealous.
And it, rightfully so, pisses Gojo off. Because he’s standing there, genuinely worried about Nanami’s safety and well-being, worried about Yuuji, and Nanami accuses him of being insecure and jealous. And he doesn’t believe Gojo when he tells him - honestly, by the way - he didn’t find out until after Yuuji was already dead and he was looking into everything surrounding peoples’ whereabouts. And when Gojo asks who planned that dinner? Rinko. But Nanami only thinks Gojo is jealous and paranoid.
And it makes things worse because of course Nanami would side with Rinko no matter what because he believes that someone he’s so close to would never hurt him. Again, thanks to Shoko for inserting Geto into that line of thought.
Because guess what guys, by now, Gojo has found out that one of the jobs Rinko went on was to get one of Sukuna’s fingers. Oh, joy. Now, she’s been on a highly dangerous job to get a Special Grade cursed object for the Zenin clan. Honestly, we have to give them some credit for being fucking master manipulators. And Gojo and Rinko for both being fucking stupid.
Because if Rinko had just told Gojo she was going to do a few jobs for the clan to try and get Maki a promotion, he’d have told her he thought it was dumb, but he wouldn’t have stopped her. And if Gojo had just talked to her as soon as his suspicion started, then she would have understood and they’d have figured it out. But alas, they didn’t because they’re both fucking stupid.
And then, Nanami tells him that Rinko will likely forgive Gojo but that he won’t deserve it, and GUESS WHAT, GUYS, we found part of the ROOT of the issue: Gojo knows that already.
In Gojo’s mind, Rinko is too good to be true. She’s put up with him, been there for him, comforted him and has been the only person in his entire life who didn’t expect him to be perfect. And she’s too damn good to be true because why would someone as wonderful as this stupid, infuriating, selfless, menace of a woman ever want anything to do with a selfish asshole like him?
Goodwill Event
The first thing Gojo notices about Rinko? She looks different. Her eyes are dull and she looks exhausted. And he hates that she talks down on herself.
What does he think next? He thinks about how selfless she is about his damn teaching job that he knows damn well Yaga tried to get her to accept so he could get rid of Gojo because he’s an objectively horrible teacher. And then he remembers her laugh. He remembers the day, back in the car, all the way back in Innate Issues, when she’d giggled as the twins and Megumi ganged up on him. And he fucking misses her. And he realizes, right there, that he’s fucking stupid because he’s fucking in love with this woman and he’d been refusing to talk to her and with the kind of person she was, she’d likely understand if he just asks her now.
But Rinko thinks he just sees a Zenin because of her own issues. So she ✨avoids✨ him like it’s an Olympic sport.
And guys, you’re not gonna like what I’m about to say: Gakuganji fucking saved the day by fucking with Rinko’s double. Because it cemented in Gojo’s mind that Rinko couldn’t be part of it. It triggered the protective part of our dumb lil boy’s mind and he went into Even Dumber Boy mode. Because he forgot that Rinko can’t fucking tell he’s not looking at her if his fucking face is right in her face because of the stupid blindfold. Which, he has kept because he wanted to believe in her. And really, he did. Because if he hadn’t believed in her, he wouldn’t have kept it.
So he panics and tells her to stay with Utahime, which is smart. Rinko acknowledges this. Because what did Utahime do as soon as they were in the veil? Activate her technique to give Rinko a boost. Just like Gojo wanted. Except Rinko is too worried about the kids, so she leaves her double to help Mai and Utahime and goes looking for Megumi and Maki.
At this point, Rinko has almost worked herself to death. Guess what, guys? That path is what leads her to the exact same fate as Yuzuki. She’d isolated herself out of shame, which is what Yuzuki partially did after finding out Naobito was married. She’s barely talking to anyone because she knows Nanami is going to meddle, Shoko is going to scold her, and Utahime is still at Kyoto Tech, which Rinko is avoiding. So, she’s isolated, she’s angry at herself, and she’s fucking breaking.
She’s going on every job she can get her hands on to try and put that damned Special Grade 1 status to good use and make a good difference. And she’s taking dangerous jobs to keep others from having to do them. She hasn’t seen the kids because she’s avoiding them because Megumi was upset and she doesn’t want to push him before he is ready to talk. And realistically, she’s hurt and she doesn’t want to be and that makes her angry. Rinko’s got a lot of emotions swirling through her.
And I’ll tell you a behind-the-scenes secret, Rinko has been spending at least one night a week at her mother’s grave when she’s not on a job.
She’s spiraling.
And, let’s not just blame Gojo for not talking to Rinko. Rinko also didn’t reach out to explain what she knew had to have upset him. Because logically, she knew that if she explained what she’d done, he would understand. But she’s too prideful to admit that she’d fucked up.
Gakuganji wasn’t wrong when he said that Rinko wasn’t going to live much longer if she kept going down the path she was on. The fucker is an asshole, but he genuinely doesn’t want to see her dead. Which is why he swallowed his pride and hatred for Gojo to tell him what he knew. Everything he knew. Because he could tell that the two weren’t talking but Gakuganji was key because he knew the catalyst.
Guess what, guys, Gakuganji always planned to tell Gojo what the fuck was going on at the event. He went in planning to tell him. Because while he doesn’t give a shit about Yuuji, or Sukuna’s Vessel, or Gojo, he does give a shit about Rinko. He didn’t think her double being stabbed would hurt her, and he had no clue that the event would be attacked. So, in his eyes, it was harmless. Going in, Gakuganji did know that when something happened to Rinko, Gojo would get upset and confront him about it.
And so, after Gojo is done interrogating him about that, Gakuganji tells him everything he knows about Rinko’s situation because, as he says, he thinks she’s a foolish girl, but he doesn’t want her to die:
“I think Kurisaki is a fool,” Gakuganji cut him off, flinching slightly when Gojo snarled. “But I don’t want to see her dead. I don’t. And I assumed that when she didn’t sit next to you today, her promotion did what the clan wanted. She- can take care of herself for the most part. But- if she lets her temper control her like she did when she was a teenager- she- she won’t live much longer.”
Rinko notes that Gakuganji has been more of a father to her than her own, even though it was for Naobito. And he does care for her. Remember how proud he was when she made Grade 1? And how badly he wanted her to try to get Special Grade 1? Because he wants her to be successful. And while he hates Gojo, he knows that he will keep her safe from real danger. Remember, Gakuganji pressed that button for her cursed energy as soon as he realized that bad shit was going down.
So, now Gojo has the right pieces for his puzzle, which he’d mostly already deduced at this point. And he’s angry. At the Zenin clan, and at himself for not knowing better.
So what does he do? He loses his temper.
And he launches Hollow Purple at the Special Grade cursed spirit that he knows is very close to two students because, in his mind, it’s a decent substitute for going and doing what he knows would start an actual clan war.
But, as we know, everything that could go wrong with no one dying goes wrong. And he comes to his senses just in time to see Hollow Purple slam into Rinko because she was saving Yuuji’s life because he was an idiot again. And now, he thinks that this is it. He’s done more than enough fucking damage and she’ll never want to see him again because he has royally fucked up in every way he knows how.
Remember that he notes: They really were all bastards who fucking did nothing but let Rinko get caught in the crossfire. Gojo included.
So, at this point, he thinks that the best thing to do is let her push him away after he’s explained what he’s done because she deserves the truth. And then, once she tells him to fuck off, he will.
But she doesn’t tell him to fuck off. She tells him she needs time. And he gets impatient and jumpy and decides that he’s going to do something he’s never fucking done which is really apologize.
The Apology, the Fight, and the Panic Attacks
If you’ve read Rinko’s profile, you’ll know that her two favorite foods are sobayaki dan okonomiyaki and matcha and chocolate taiyaki.
Here’s a fun fact that isn’t explicitly stated anywhere in the series: She only eats matcha and chocolate taiyaki when she’s had a long day or she wants to treat herself. Her mother used to make it for her. Remember that flashback in Double-Edged Words? Most of the time, Rinko gets matcha and red bean taiyaki.
If you’ll briefly remember, in Part 3 of Innate Issues, Gojo specifically notes that the flavor Rinko got was different than what she normally got:
“That’s different,” he said, nodding towards her taiyaki. “Never seen you-” “It’s been a long day,” she repeated, savoring the matcha and chocolate. “Wanted to treat myself.”
That was two years ago. But he remembered.
Not only that, he’d remembered that she asked for a particular beer somewhere and then he went to Hokkaido to get it. It is four hours from Tokyo to Hokkaido, by the way, guys. So he traveled a total of eight hours to get Rinko a beer because he knew she would appreciate the thought put into it. And she does.
Then, because he’s a dumb, messy lil human who is afraid of rejection for one of the first times in his entire life. He fucking chugs part of that damn beer. Remember the last time he drank? When Rinko wasn’t talking to him.
Gojo drank that time way back in Hollow Echoes because he was afraid of her rejecting him. Because he knew he shouldn’t have taken his anger out on her and he knew she was partially right in ignoring him.
So, when Gojo is afraid that Rinko is really going to see him the way he, and literally everyone else, sees him, he drinks so he doesn’t have to know what’s happening.
And because he’s a lil lightweight, it fucks him up and he stops thinking clearly so that by the time he’s actually apologized, he’s drunk and without his brain working properly, jealousy starts to actually win out. What was he gonna say when she cut him off? He was going to end up fucking telling her he loved her. And it’s a really fucking good thing she cut him off because she would have kicked him out and never spoken to him again. Because she wouldn’t have believed him.
Why? Why wouldn’t she believe him? Because she was angry too. And Rinko was letting her anger and her bitterness around everything that’s been happening, not just with Gojo, fuel her as she argued with him. And the only area Rinko gives him absolutely zero tolerance in is jealousy and she would have thought he was only saying that he loved her because he was jealous. And that would have been the last straw for her, truly. Because in her mind, that would have been the ultimate lie. She already felt like he was lying when he said he cared about her because of how angry she was, just imagine if this idiot had told her he loved her.
Spoiler: It wouldn’t have gone well.
It’s why Gojo fucking knows he can’t ask her to marry him yet. Because she doesn’t believe he could ever be serious about her and he knows it’s his own damn fault. A lot of comments joked that he bought the ring before asking her on a real date, and you’ve got a point. But I’ve said before, Gojo knows the biggest obstacle is just convincing Rinko that he’s serious. This apology was the first step.
Not so fun fact: Gojo was also having a panic attack when he was trying to calm Rinko down. It was why he couldn’t let go. Because she was the only thing that would make it better for him. And his body refused to let go of the only thing that made him feel safe. His chest feeling tight and feeling like he couldn’t breathe either? Yeah, our boy was having a fucking panic attack because he sobered up just in time to see the woman he knew he didn’t deserve, but had still chosen him time and time again, quite literally slipping away.
If Gojo had left before her panic attack, he would have never gone back because he would have believed that she would be better off without him in her life directly. He still would have protected her, and he’d have made it very clear to the Zenin clan that if they touched her again, he’d kill them, but he’d have left her alone.
But he didn’t and she let him stay after she’d calmed down and he felt that hope build again because he needed to. And things aren’t just completely better, but Rinko needed to let that shit out because it wasn’t just the shit with Gojo that she let out with that panic attack. It was the past few months.
Remember what I said about her panic attack in Show Your Hand? She feels safe enough with Gojo to let herself break. She’d been forcing herself to keep going, patching herself back up and pushing herself forward as she broke because she couldn’t let herself break. But with him, when he was holding her her body just knew it could let go and it did. Her body knew she was safe in his arms and so she broke down like she’d needed to for months.
Idk if this even makes sense anymore, but this was a huge turning point for both of them. Rinko is going to make some big strides in her own emotional development because of this. And I’m really excited for you guys to see that. Also, Gojo will keep growing, too. But he’s still gonna be a lil horny boy for Rinko because now he knows he loves her and she’s giving him the chance to really show her that he does. So he’s gonna be horny.
THE LAST THING I WILL SAY:
A lil secret: Gojo realized that Rinko wouldn’t have put up with him for this long if she didn’t feel the same way. Not long after she stayed with him in Silence Louder Than Words and he realized he loved her, he realized that she wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t love him too. But, he’s also realized that because she’s never said anything, and because he knows how aware she is of emotions: that she has likely just accepted that he will never love her back. And it fucking breaks his heart. And it’s why his mind was so quick to tell him to let her go. Because he knows she deserves better than someone she believes will never love her back. But she chooses him anyway and he means it when he says he’ll make this chance fucking count.
So yeah, these two lil idiot humans are so fucking messy and so in love and they’re gonna be okay.
Did this even make any fucking sense?? 🤔🤔
#author discussion#another level discussion#another level#gojo fanfic#gojo and rinko#rinko and gojo#rinko kurisaki#rinko kurisaki is a lil bean but also a lil shit but we love her so much#rinko kurisaki aka my favorite oc i've ever written#rinko kurisaki fanclub#gojo satoru x original female character#gojo satoru fanfic#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru
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an assortment of author rambles (7/24)
Hi honeybees,
I have a couple of things I need to address before they get out of hand. There’s also some updates in this mix. ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴
I’m endlessly appreciative of the people who are supportive; the plethora of asks I’ve received that have been sweet and thoughtful have warmed my heart.
I’ve gotten a few messages that go something along the lines of “do ___ or I won’t read your IF” or “thanks for making ___ change, I’ll still be reading” and it’s pissed me off enough to address it.
It’s physically impossible for me to please everyone. Do not send me messages like this. You will be blocked. Yes, even if you’re saying you’re still reading my story. Because you’re not saying it out of interest and out of love for the world I’m creating, you’re saying that because you got your way.
I have different options of approaching my interactions on here. I would prefer to be transparent with you all in my writing process; I also don’t want to create false expectations by not updating you all on ‘major’ story changes. Authors change elements of their story all the time. It's part of the game.
That being said, I have the ability to just write my story and post updates when it’s necessary. There’s no obligation to be interactive. Not ideal for me and my personality type, but if it saves me stress and prevents me from receiving rude, entitled messages, then so be it.
If I need to, I'll turn off anonymous asks for the time being.
Anyways, updates.
To everyone that's sent in their thoughts on MC stat checks or romance routes, I did read all your messages and thank you for your opinions! I didn't respond to all of them, but they are appreciated.
The V romance isn't working and i have to remove them as a triad RO. It's like putting a square peg in a round hole and hoping no one notices. Polyamorous people or people who want to experience a healthy, equal triad relationship deserve better than what the V romance would turn into. With that in mind...
V-type poly with V and MC dating Zero and not each other still works just fine. Any and all MC's can romance Zero, can still fight with V and gain friendship/rivalry with them.
If V is removed as a RO outside of the v-type poly, that means I would add another as an official RO. I'm between Carter and Delphine. Leaning towards Delphine because she's gorgeous and sapphic and I adore her. She would be introduced a few chapters in. Carter and Maggie would remain as flings/possible additions to the group scattered throughout. That would make the official RO's A, C, D, X, Z.
No MC stat checks to initiate any of the RO routes. If there are some incompatibilities, that will be a conversation with the RO and you might get more of a slow burn romance (ex. stoic MC's with C) There might be personality/stat checks to initiate certain moments in the romance (ex. if you're a very sarcastic MC, your RO may not think you mean your affections and you'll have to put in the work to convince them)
I'm gonna get to everyone's asks!! (eventually) I work during the day and I'm writing essays for my medical school applications which take up a lot of my time. So if it's been a while since you've sent your ask, don't worry. I'll get to it! Especially if it's a RO reaction or lore related, those take me much longer to write and cost more energy. But i do love chatting with y'all, so I try to carve out some time for that.
Do not send asks complaining about the changes; they will be ignored and/or deleted. I share them to be transparent.
Okay I think that's it for now. Thank you again for all the amazing messages y'all have sent and I'm sorry for this tone switch, just needed to clear this up. ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
I'll be online later tonight to answer more fun asks and be silly goofy with y'all!! (and if you read all this, thank you for reading my lil novel of a post)
All my love,
Cheye
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Some of youl really need to understand one thing and that is this that these READINGS are done solely for "ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES" and no matter how much experienced or well done you are in TAROT it's not always accurate neither i ASTROLOGY nor TAROT as everyone has a different way of analysing the cards/charts and especially when you are doing a reading on someone who's literally unknown and so we'll protected no matter what information you are getting it's definitely not 100% accurate especially when it comes to career and physical appearance as spirits would definately not give out information especially knowing this that there are way too many DELUSIONAL PEOPLE on this platform. And if you have something a little knowledge you should also know that tarot is never 100% accurate as energies keep changing and your personal choice especially free will does exist. STOP TARGETTING PEOPLE WHEN IT DOESN'T MATCHES YOU. AND ALSO THOSE PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO BE KNOWING EVERYTHING just know that there are always chances your readings or anything won't be accurate too. So kindly leave your opinions to yourself and don't push them onto people.. everyone has a different way of reading the cards and spirits won't connect with everyone so kindly take the readings for entertainment or knowledge about tarot and stuff only. The reason you all can't be her is definitely this that she/fs would definitely not be wasting their time thinking about jk/any k-pop idol 24/7. They have a Life which doesn't exist on Tumblr.
Thank you, anon! I fully agree with this statement and don't support/encourage nor try to support/encourage those with delusions. I'm just doing readings and interpreting cards the way I see them. If that's an issue, kindly, unfollow this account as I have no space for negativity. If you have ACTUAL constructive criticism on my readings, please just message me so I can have a proper, insightful, discussion with you and ask questions in order to gain more knowledge. And to those accusing me of being that delusional tumblr account that's pretending to be Jungkook's FS and sending asks to other tarot readers about me, I kindly ask you to stop! Tarot readers are more than free to look into me and can/will notice my energy is definitely different compared to those on that delusional account. Hate me all you want, but don't throw out baseless accusations without evidence at the very least! I want to keep this community as friendly as possible and I've, literally, JUST joined. I find it insane how I'm already being hounded and accused of multiple things. I don't intend to quit, but I will be trying to lessen the amount of FS readings I do. They will continue in full swing once again, soon. However, I am going to focus more on asks that are career/personality/friendship/dynamic based for the time being and prioritise those. I have a list of them to get to, either way! If you took the time to read this, thank you! Additionally, thank you to those whom have sent me such sweet anon asks and private messages <3 I appreciate all the support and wanted to take this opportunity to openly thank you
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as you have probably noticed, I am back. And I will stay haha.
It was only a teeny-tiny break because I realised that it is a very special day today.
So yeah, happy anniversary to me 🕯️
Exactly one year ago I posted my first story on here and then nothing for a long time but then took it up again so it counts haha. Crazy how quickly time passes. And what has all happened in this year.
Thank you for everything, you lovely daisies💛
Also once again a huge thank you to everyone who has sent so sweet messages in the past days, showed support and just checked in to see how I was doing. I was really overwhelmed by all your kindness!!
Thank you so, so much!! Your support and kindness mean the world💛💛
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S&W Writing Update! ~ 6/9/23
Hey all! So sorry I missed the last one of these, life has been absolutely hectic. Anyways Happy Summer! And Happy Pride Month🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ :) You want the good news or the bad news first? 😅 Let’s rotate between the two.
Some good news first! Thanks to the beginning of summer vacation, I’ll hopefully have a lot more time to devote to the project. I got a new computer too. So coding should be running much smoother now. We are still in need of Beta Testers, so if you’re interested in helping out the project, and the extra perks that come with it, please reach out to me! Now for some bad news. The demo cannot be dropped until I’m satisfied it’s been properly tested. Due to an overall lack of testers, and technical difficulties + scheduling conflicts on my end, the demo drop will unfortunately have to be pushed back to July. So sorry about that! 🙏🏽 On the bright side(more good news incoming), thats around the same time the Patreon will be dropping! So keep your eyes and ears open for that. As for how the actual project is coming along, Im happy to announce that the Prologue and Chapter 1 of Snowflakes & Wishes is 97% complete! 🥳 I just have to finalize some choices and make sure everything works. My art development team is also in the middle of creating some Pride Month Character Art for you all. So look forward to that as well. I’m also working on a side story about the Mystery RO that will be released to my Patreon chapter by chapter. Let’s see if you guys can figure out who they are before the big reveal. 😏
Once again I would like to extend a big “Thank You” to everyone who has been supporting and following this project for the past few months. It means a lot to me and my team and we look forward to seeing how the demo will be recived! 😁 I would also like to extend a sincere thank you to “theoperativeif”. They have been one of my biggest supporters since pretty much day one. They’ve sent me almost weekly messages of support and affirmation. Even if I’m too tired or anxious to respond I always see them and they brighten my day. The creator of this IF is so sweet and funny and if you haven’t already you should definitely click the link below and go check them out! ☺️
That’s all I have for now. Remember to stay hydrated out there it’s looking to be a hot summer. Take care of yourselves everyone and look forward to the next update! 💕
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I want to say a quick yet heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me sweet messages and support throughout this semester. I also want to send a special shoutout to @yanna-banana who helped me stay motivated and kept me on task until I finished.
I never thought about being an English major until my junior year. I never thought my writing was worth being read. You all have emboldened me and given me so much strength. I used to be terrified to let people read my writing, academic or not. Thanks to the constant amazing support from you all, I am so very lucky to be able to share on this platform.
A million times over, thank you.
Now let’s get back to writing smut ;)
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