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leclercvsx · 1 year ago

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FANBOY | SMAU

CHARLES LECLERC

pairings: Charles x singer!reader

summary: charles (and some other drivers) fanboy over y/n and her music.

faceclaim: Huh Yunjin (my wife xo)

warnings: none

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 1,824,264 others

yourusername: i can change everything about me to fit in

y/nfan: IS THIS A SONG LYRIC?!?!

y/nlover: i might cry like actually

fancyy/n: MOTHER IS MAKING A NEW ALBUM IM CALLING IT RIGHT NOW

luvy/n: UGH i need new music rn pls

y/nlover: no because actually

lilymhe: this album will make me sob won’t it

yourusername: maybe🤭

lilymhe: AH HELLO

riabish: so excited !!! 😭

liked by yourusername

loveyy/n: this album gonna be so relatable, i can just tell🫣

l0vey/n: release it already🫣

chae_yung: i heard it first😊

yourusername: don’t tease them😠

eun.7: y’all are about to lose your shit😹

liked by yourusername

—

y/n.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 2,836 others

y/n.jpg: opened the jpg account for a few minutes so welcome new people and old people 🙄

TAGGED: chae_yung and eun.7

lilymhe: i’m honored

chae_yung: i will smack that look off your face

y/n.jpg: girl be for real, i can take you in a fight😤

chae_yung: stfu

danielricciardo: made it just in time😰

y/n.jpg: please go back to redbull, i need it in my life😭

charles_leclerc: i barely made it🙄

y/n.jpg: leave ferrari !!! jk…unless🫣

y/nfan: MOTHER WHEN IS THE ALBUM BEING RELEASED

y/n.jpg: SOON VERY VERY SOON, MY CHILD

eun.7: ew

y/n.jpg: you’re my biggest hater

y/nlover: release the album now🤭

y/n.jpg: how about, no🤭

alex_albon: my girlfriend loves you more than me😔

y/n.jpg: your girlfriend is now my wife 🫶

lilymhe: YES I LOVE YOU

alex_albon: i love you too❤️

lilymhe: not you🙄

—

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 2,538,284 others

yourusername: my new album ‘folklore’ is finally out and available for streaming on ALL platforms!! I hope you guys enjoy this album as much i did making it.

This album means a lot to me and has a few of my favorite songs i’ve ever written on it. Such as ‘This Is Me Trying’, ‘mirrorball’, ‘seven’ and ‘the lakes’.

stream now !! 🫶

y/nfan: NO COS SHE ATE WITH THIS ALBUM

y/nlover: don’t mind me just sobbing over seven

fancyy/n: i BALLED listening to this whole album😭😭

lilymhe: my new favourite album, i love it so much☹️

yourusername: i love YOU so much🫶

charles_leclerc: honestly, one of your best albums.

yourusername: why thank you mr leclerc🤭

alex_albon: lily’s been crying nonstop over this🙄

yourusername: my poor wife :( i didn’t mean to make you cry 😔🫶

lilymhe: you’re forgiven babe❤️

alex_albon: leave MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE

eun.7: meh, it was alright

yourusername: 🙄

chae_yung: so proud of you🫶

yourusername: ily😭

l0vey/n: no cause seven’s chorus made me want to kms☹️

yourusername: please don’t !! 🫶

—

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1,274,628 others

yourusername: in the words of sebastian vettel (my lover) “Everyone is a Ferrari fan. Even if they’re not, they’re a Ferrari fan” ❤️🏎️

TAGGED: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, ferrari and eun.7

ferrari: ❤️

liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc: it was great meeting you ❤️

yourusername: you too!! 🫶

carlossainz55: ❤️

liked by yourusername

lilymhe: meeting you has made my life complete btw😘

yourusername: AH MY WIFE I LOVE YOU

alex_albon: first you take my girlfriend and now you’re not even a williams fan🙄

yourusername: no one’s a williams fan 🫶

y/nfan: not eunchae wearing a CHECO hat

yourusername: don’t. we’ve had our discussion about THAT.

eun.7: it was so fun tho, even with you there x

yourusername: girl the only reason you were there was because of ME

—

y/n.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 1,728 others

y/n.jpg: currently falling in love with charles leclerc, don’t mind me x (the toto pic is off pinterest…dilf<3)

TAGGED: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: im honoured love😉

y/n.jpg: on my knees rn

eun.7: obsessed much

y/n.jpg: i will literally fight you right now

chae_yung: i ship it 😚

y/n.jpg: 😙😙

lilymhe: i know something people don’t👀👀

y/n.jpg: shh now😉

y/nfan: new relationship = new music 🤪

y/nlover: f1 y/n is my fave y/n😫

eun.7: just realised, don’t you hate ferrari? 🤨

y/n.jpg: when they’re screwing my man over, yes.

—

y/n.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, eun.7 and 2,372 others

y/n.jpg: can i go, where you go❤️

feat freddie the horse cos i missed him sm and duke my not so little puppy 😙

TAGGED: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: i love you ❤️

y/n.jpg: AH i love you too, so much😭😭

y/nfan: NEW SONG??? NEW BOYFRIEND?? IM GOING INSANE

y/nlover: omg an album about being in love💔💔💔

eun.7: why didn’t you take me with you to see freddie😔

y/n.jpg: you didn’t deserve to come x

charles_leclerc: i went with her instead🤭

eun.7: wow, i’ll remember this

lilymhe: HAHA I KNEW THIS FIRST🫶🫶

y/n.jpg: of course bby😘

chae_yung: happy for you!! ❤️

y/n.jpg: i love you so much😭🫶

—

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 875k others

charles_leclerc: stream y/n’s new album, lover ❤️

TAGGED: yourusername

yourusername: hehe, thank you baby😘

charles_leclerc: you’re very welcome sweetheart❤️

charlesfan: they’re adorable🙄

y/ncharles: he’s promoting her new album :((((

carlossainz55: i like the song cornelia street

yourusername: and the song cornelia street likes you, carlos <3

eun.7: makes no sense

yourusername: fuck off

y/nfan: thank you Mr leclerc for being an inspiration for mother to produce a new album🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

y/nlover: i need maathp shooting through my veins

ferrari: ❤️

sebastianvettel: congrats mate, the album is amazing too y/n!

charles_leclerc: thanks mate, but you made her cry of happiness😭

yourusername: i love you😭😭

danielricciardo: i was her fan first btw

yourusername: of course danny😘

ferrarifan: she’s already getting along with his friends😭i😭love😭them😭

i hope you all enjoyed this one shot! i loved making it! although he didn’t really fanboy over her but that’s fine lmao. Small reminder, requests are still open!! 🫶

masterlist | request

535 notes · View notes

satocidal · 1 year ago

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𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭Destination(!): Middle of Nowhere — Toji Fushiguro

Synopsis: A long drive—a little crush and a hot dilf, not much can wrong- only that you were drunk and he was no less of a bastard.

— Word count: 2.2k

— A/n: Nobody come at me ok? This was meant to be full smut and just a drabble but here I am 💀 and this is like a piece I’m writing after a decent while so stfu ok- as is Toji ain’t my boo

— Warnings: smut!! MDNI!! Toji x Fem! Reader (reader is at least 19); age gap (reader is the age of Megumi and they’re not in college <3); stupidly fucked sense of alcohol consumption and hangover (for the sake of plot); degradation; spanking; idk basic nonsense- exhibitionism; usage of word "daddy" (twice)

“That’s what you fuckin’ like huh?” A sharp slap landed on your ass, whimpers barely contained as you sobbed as his fast-set pace—“Gettin’ fucked at the side of the highway?”

Days spent saving the money so carefully, so long—it had to be a night well spent.

“Gumi’!” You sounded out again, the skirt rested so low on your waist—the top barely holding up too, you grinned as your friend made his way to your car, disgruntled a face.

“Why the long face lover boy?”

Not a word, motioning just his head for you to focus on the body in the periphery—it was similar to your Friend, well, at least by the face of it and some mannerisms.

Megumi’s father after all, was the book definition of what a dilf is—you couldn’t help but giggle at the way the older man flicked off his son—usual banter, you presumed.

“What happened now?”

“I was running late, so I made eggs—he wanted to eat some cereals or whatever,” you chuckled at the annoyance his tone held still—“and he couldn’t have made it himself?”

A deadpan that Megumi passed you, “is it not obvious the only thing he can make is women pregnant left and right.”

Another gaze, yours flickered to his father- shyly looking away immediately when your eyes seemed to catch—he was, in most senses, scary.

But hot—because how else would you explain the sudden flutter of the nerves as your eyes caught sight of Him, pants resting low on his hips—no shirt, fuck was he hot.

Another laugh, unassuming as your car revved away.

The concert was fun, mostly.

Besides the time that you lost sight of Megumi, besides the creeps that you caught along the way, besides getting your drink almost spiked- yeah.

What wasn’t fun, it was simply realising that you did not in fact have a ride to go back anymore. But as it was, absent father or not, he made for a decent chauffeur- because there at 11:30 at night he stood with his car.

“How the fuck do you lose your car keys?” His voice was rushed, Megumi’s—staring daggers at you, you simply chose to giggle, too drunk to register anything properly.

“I lost you at the concert- I think losing is a simple concept,”

A scoff- Megumi could not deal with this anymore.

“Remember when we lost our virginity-? That motel was so shady, and the bitch you were with-” words punctuated with hiccups and giggles, Megumi groaned, ears burning when his dad replied with “Hah?” To your words, apparently having heard everything.

A hand shoved to cover your mouth, Megumi grimaced-“don’t mind her, she’s drunk, I need you to take her home- ours,”

A short silence followed the info, “take her? Where will you be?”

Megumi paused, “I’ll stay off at a friend’s t’night—need you to take her back,”

A scoff—Toji’s, “can’t the brat stay with you too? M’busy,”

“He wants to get railed,” you hollered from behind—warning yourself a gruff smile from Toji, not that you’d care at the moment- “off y’er rockets, both of you,” a mumble Toji passed, then a scoff.

“Alright,” he finally muttered, not without making Megumi beg thrice, compensating the night drive by leaving the apartment alone to his father for three days further, “stay with her while I back the car- don’t lemme catch ya fuckin’ some whore when I get back either,”

“Don’t ya worry Mr. Fushiguro—ain’t gonna let him get STD so fast,”

Another short chuckle, hm, the ride could after all be fun.

“Thanks dad,” Megumi muttered another his breath- fastening your seatbelt, not daring to meet his dad’s eye, all too aware of the smirk on his face.

“The chick’s hot,”

“That’s why I’m leaving with her and not- oh,” Megumi paused mid-statement realising it was you his father was referring to, not the girl he was leaving with, he bit his lip hard.

“Don’t try your shit with her, don’t mess with her,”

A smirk, “how would you know,” Toji shrugged, “I could fuck her roadside and you wouldn’t know,”

A lick of his lips, “which is why I’m asking you to simply not do it,”

Flick of his head, “I’ll do what I want,”

Megumi watched as his father’s gaze lingered upon your form, it was simply too easy- especially the way Toji’s eyes held a hungry look.

And just like that, you—half passed out, beside Toji swerved away, Megumi would’ve perhaps minded a little more, had the girl beside him not been actively trying to kiss his face off- not that he minded.

Ps. One thing about Toji, he did do what he wanted after all.

The ride back home was smoother, partially because you were almost passed out, and there was no traffic to hinder your way either—and yet, hours it took the both of you to reach.

After all, there were stops made continuously, here and there- “ya hungry?” You muttered suddenly, 15 minutes into the ride, the silence all so overbearing—a mindless “huh?” Toji passed, a mere snicker you offered “hungry? I am,”

Toji stared blankly at the road—he wasn’t sure, a small smirk made its over still, “you don’t typically talk so much,” and true he was of course—but that was mostly because Toji always shivered your timbers, which rarely mattered when you were as drunk as you were.

“I’m typically never this hungry either,” a gruff scoff he passed, “Gumi’ didn’t feed ya or what?”

A silence you let pass over the two of you- he sighed taking the worse of the cases, “whatever I’ve got me some cash, sure, whatcha’ wanna eat?”

“Whatever pops up on the road first,”

A smirk, Toji looked over the convenience store that seemed to be approaching—“I like decisive girls like you,”

A giggle you passed, so drunk, “wanna know a decision I’ve made?”

A cocked brow met your gaze as Toji pulled the car over the side of the road—“you’re one man I wanna fuck,”

A cough and a widened set of eyes fretted Toji before the smirk could even wipe you across the floor, a short silence met you- sober you would’ve already climbed over the lay on the road ready to be run over, the sheer embarrassment.

A small chuckle the older man offered, “y’er not so bold usually eh?”

“You’re scary,” your voice came out as half a whine,

“eh? And I’m not scary right now?”

A giggle again—“you’re much more fuckable right now, especially with how you were in the morning- been on my mind since,”

Oh?

Oh.

The vision of himself in just a vest and grey sweat-pants, understandable, he shrugged—“gotta be honest doll, you look way more slutty than I did,”

An amused smile he held as you giggled again—“yeaaaah?” Your words dragged, “S’pretty skirt ain’t it? Gumi’ thought it was too short,” a small pout that you held with end of the statement.

A snort Toji passed—“Gumi? An idiot, a doll like you deserved to flaunt that ass in as short of a skirt you like, don’t ya?”

Your head bobbed in compliance, slowing only when his hand came to rest way too high on the plush of your thighs—it felt hot.

Hot in the way it seemed to creep up your skirt, hot in the way the hem of your skirt tickled you—hot in the way his gaze held yours, hot in the way Toji knew exactly what he was doing.

A lick of your lips, a lean in from him, a lean in yours—“you were hungry, yea?”

And just like that, Toji did exactly as he pleased.

Toji stared, jaw stacked as his eyes remained stuck on your form, bent over—legs spread, all just to tease him while you pretended to be confused about flavour sandwiched you wanted to grab.

A hum entered his ears, you bent over further—your panties, the fishnets all on display —“I don’t like the mayo they used in this,” a whine as you wiggled your ass, his eye twitched.

A step forward, he stood directly behind you, crotch pressed to your ass, a hand on your back which kept you in position—“and I don’t like the way you’re acting,”

The store was empty, you smirked—grinding back into him, “you seemed to like how I was back in—”

-slap!

A sharp inhale, yours, a sting that you could feel building up on your ass—“hey! What are you-”

-another harsh slap fell on the same spot, the fat of your ass squeezed suddenly, “what do you think y’er doing?” Almost a growl—the store was empty, he was using it to his advantage.

A smile rested on your lips—“trying to decide on what I wanted to eat but…” despite the dull warmth you’d just felt you grind into him yet again—your intentions were clear, all too drunk to even care about being humped in the middle of a convenience store—as you seemed to be at the moment.

Toji realised all of this— in the sound of your gasp as he pulled at your hair roughly, back arching as he brought you close enough to his mouth as he leaned down himself—you could feel his hardening dick pushing against your ass—“but what?”

A smile, almost innocent that you flashed, “I don’t think I’m hungry anymore…” a bite of your lip—then another hitch as you felt him spank you yet again, all too done with you.

The heat radiated through your body, “you think it’s funny huh? Grinding’ into me like a whore?”

A moan escaped you, his fingers roughly pushing at your clothed pussy, skirt hiked up- your face heated up at thought of someone walking in—fingers feeling around your wetness as it spread, “wearing such a fuckin’ short skirt—I can practically see your slutty pussy when you bend,” another sharp slap, you whined at the absence of his fingers from your cunt.

“Ofc Gumi’ let ya go—such a whore, poor boy had to take care of you huh? But that’s ok—daddy’s better than him at dealing with bratty ones like you,”

Shameless, in the way you moaned—not caring about the store manager who was probably watching through the store camera—you smirked.

“Yeah?” You grinned up at him, “what’ll you do hm? What does “daddy” do?”

A hard stare he passed, suddenly pulling away from you entirely, let alone for the hand that grasped your hair, “think I prefer you better when you’re quiet and crushin’ on me,”

A mischievous smile that you held—“you should gag me then,” he couldn’t help but roll his eyes, and smile at your words—you were adorable, he wouldn’t deny that—he pulled you away from the shop slowly, back to the car, not without winking at the guy working at the store—all too aware of the breathy moans he’d let out stroking himself, watching the two of you too.

As for gagging you, Toji would.

Fifteen minutes the both of you rode in silence—sheer fear that his words had held, “not a peep,” he’d whispered as he closed the door for you, a hard glare followed as the engine was turned on.

Fifteen minutes gone by, you were wet—turned on simply by the silly ministrations in the store, your cunt was practically begging to be touched.

But ah—for someone too afraid to even breath loudly at the moment, to touch yourself seemed off the plate, but the thought may enticing nonetheless.

“Feelin’ horny?” His voice rasped—and oh boy, you were—“same,” a short smirk has evident in his voice, “no touching or sounds till you’re at home though,”

And quite Instantly and regrettably, “Please…” you whispered, hand reaching over to stroke his thigh once —just as quick the car was pulled aside, Toji’s face remained blank.

“Get out,” he murmured, breaking the moment of silence—his gaze was hard, “huh?” Was all you could manage, “ya heard me doll, out. Out and your hands on the hood,”

And as if on a spell, there you were- bent over, it was chilly, pleasantly so—waiting all so impatiently, squirming, he sat in his seat, light shining all upon you- his star of the night.

Slow, taking forever it seemed, that he stood up- walked off, you dared not to move, staring in the little awkward position that he held you in, as he stretched in his leisure.

He didn't seem to come close, not once- or at all, not a single word —“Mr. Fushiguro…please?”

A smirk- fast spread to a grin- “shy again? We gettin’ sobered up? Not so quick doll,” and yet, with all his teasing words, not a single step taken to help- you squirmed, ass sticking out, it was tempting but Toji was a man of will power.

“Please,” you muttered meaninglessly- and the moment continued for a decent two minutes- nothing made sense, you knew he was merely teasing- but oh how the riddle onto whatever that would make him crack was unrelenting.

And perhaps, when he couldn’t take it further, “what’s my name?”

A hesitant, “Mr. Fushiguro,” you dropped off yours lips- he smirked, a step closer- your panties, soiled already we’re almost dripping now and you were sure no piece of groundbreaking porn would ever get you this worked up again- “No. What is my name?”

And as if a light bulb got switched on- “Toji,” you whispered- he was finally close enough though, close enough with his hands on your tits, roughly squeezing and slapping them, “what was that?”

You purred softly, the way his hands pushed your spine, arching your back further- fingers brushing against your hip, “Toji,” his name rolled off your tongue again, louder- he snickered.

“That’s the name you’ll be screaming alright? Why will you scream it doll?”

And yet again, all logic flew off you as you felt his hard-on press onto your ass, “because I’m a slut who deserves to be fucked shamelessly on a highway,”

A final cackle that Toji held- a slap to your face, soft- “such a good fuckin’ whore.”

All of this work is original and entirely my own—please refrain from copying or reposting.

Likes and Reblogs highly appreciated!

239 notes · View notes

autumnleaf1111 · 7 months ago

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𝙸𝚏 𝚋𝚜𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚝:

The “Chuuya shoots Dazai” scene

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Chuuya: this is probably the gayest scene we’ve done… Asagiri! What are even doing anymore!?

Asagiri: making the audience suffer— I MEAN, we need drama.

Dazai: uh huh…

Fyodor: nah fam, y’all two have done gayer shit.

Yosano: “you used corruption believing in me? How beautiful…” you two made that scene so much gayer than it was intended.

Ranpo: WHERE IS ED?!?!?!

Nikolai: Yo, Fedya! You got the garlic breath and pecans?

Fyodor: yup! You got the knives and water?

Nikolai: mhm!

Yosano: tf is yall about to do…?

Fyodor: Dawg, Our business, is our business so kindly kys.

Ranpo: DID NO ONE HEAR ME?!?!

Dazai: yall here sum’ ?

Chuuya: Nah, I think I still got some water in my ear from when we were supposed to drown me and Fyodor.

Higuchi: I can smack your gay ass upside the head if you need?

Chuuya: where tf did you come from?!

Higuchi: My dead mother, NOW WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE MY SHERBET?!?!

Gin: uh, that was me, my bad fam.

Higuchi: I’m telling your brother you have a boyfriend.

Gin: BRO WHAT?! IM INTO GIRLS TF

Higuchi: get me new sherbet then

Gin: no, tf? It’s like 3 bucks, you’re not broke.

Mori: both of you stfu before I take away your crowns.

Gin: whatever

Higuchi: *rolls eyes*

Fukuzawa: Mori, your daughter is trying to break into the alcohol room again.

Mori: Motherfuck— ELISE ELORI ANYA, WHAT DID WE TALK ABout………slowly fades from the room

Kunikida: has anyone seen Katai? We were supposed to go to the new cafe later but I can’t find him.

Nikolai: I saw him by the cameras, I think he was trying to fix it or smth, idfk

Kunikida: Thanks Kolya—

Fyodor: Oi! Watch it Kunikida, only I can call him Kolya.

Kunikida: I get it Fyodor, you’re in love with Nikolai but that doesn’t mean you need to be such a simp.

Fyodor: I am not—

Chuuya, Dazai, Yosano, Higuchi, Gin: Yes you are.

Kunikida: you’re lucky he’s not paying attention, as usual.

Fyodor: alright stfu. Kolya, let’s head out for now, we still got an hour before we gotta be back.

Nikolai: ‘ight, Let’s get boba!

Fyodor: whatever you’d like, Kolya!

Dazai: Nah…they’re so gay for each other, yet too stupid to realize it.

Yosano: you can’t be talking, you’re just as stupid.

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: Dead Apple, Chuuya’s gotta put his face in Dazai’s crotch—

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Chuuya, reviewing the script: *murmurs* then you lean your head close in Dazai's lap— I NEED TO DO WHAT?!?!

Dazai, sitting across from Chuuya: nah, wtf, BRO?!?! ASAGIRI, IM COMING FOR YOU TOMORROW.

Chuuya: There's no way I'm doing that! It's ridiculous!

Dazai: I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to do acting with you.

Chuuya: we are gonna be laughing the whole time— what is Asagiri trying to accomplish?!

Yosano, sitting beside Asagiri, handing him a container of random foods: thank you for doing this, they need to get their feeling together, so if this doesn’t work, I’m locking them in a closet until they talk shit out.

Asagiri, sipping on his soda: so, who should we do next?

Yosano: hm… how about my idiot brother Ranpo and his “best friend” Poe, they are so in love it’s unbelievable.

Asagiri: wait— they aren’t already together?!

Yosano: Nope! Sadly.

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: Nikolai frees Fyodor and Dazai, then calls Fyodor his best friend.

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Fyodor: holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!

Sigma: Bro, you good?

Fyodor: fuck, fuck, FUCK—

Sigma: Uh— Fyodor? Yo! Russian rat bitch, Are you okay?

Chuuya: no, he’s not

Sigma: Why? Tf did Dazai do to him?

Dazai: I didn’t do shit!

Sigma: then why is dawg freaking out like his favorite drag queen just died?

Chuuya: you remember the part where Nikolai held his hands?

Sigma: yeah? Why?

Dazai: well, considering it wasn’t in the script, Fyodor wasn’t expecting his crush to grab his hands so now he’s freaking out.

Nikolai: is Fedya okay?

Dazai: oh he’s fine, he’s just having a gay panic right now.

Nikolai: uh, why?

Chuuya, trying not to laugh: Bro, Nikolai, you grabbing Fyodors hands wasn’t in the script so of course he’s flustered by you, you make him blush all the time.

Nikolai: I make Fedya blush?

Dazai: Every time you get close to him he blushes and is nicer to you than the rest of us, I think Fyodor has a crush on you, Nikolai. I know you like him too.

Chuuya: Dawg, don’t even try to deny it Nikolai, I’ve seen you two have a cuddle session in the break room, you and Fyodor may not be together but you are definitely in love.

Nikolai: ok look, yes, I’m in love with Fedya, but like hell I’m gonna say somthing. I’d rather not ruin what we have now.

Sigma: I’ll lock you two in a closet until you talk about your feelings.

Nikolai: uh— no?!

Chuuya: Nikolai, Fyodor is your best friend and you’re in love with him, he’s in love with you, it’s not that hard to figure out, so tell him you love him.

Nikolai: you have no room to talk, Chuuya, you’re also in love with your best friend.

Chuuya: SHH, he’s literally right there!

Sigma: I’m gonna lock you and Dazai in a closet to talk about your feelings, as well.

Chuuya: no, I’m good

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: Tecchou fighting Kenji

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Kenji: Man, when we finish filming the show, I hope that Jouno gets to live in the end, then you two can have a lovers kiss!

Tecchou: Wait what—

Jouno:What?!

Kenji: oh, c’mon! You two have so much chemistry on screen!

Jouno: Kenji, there are no feelings involved for me and Tecchou, the show isn’t even a love story!

Kenji: With the way Asagiri has everyone acting in this, it’s basically a BL

Tecchou: Kenji, why do you know what BL is, aren’t you 10 or something?

Kenji: I’m 14, not 10, but still, even off cameras you two act like a married couple.

Jouno: we don’t act like a married couple.

Kenji:I could convince Asagiri to have you two adopt me in the show later…

Tecchou: No—

Jouno: just drop it, he’s not letting this go.

Tecchou: Whatever, let’s go back to the dorms.

Jouno: Mkay

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: none, just them being dumbasses

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Higuchi, kicks the break room door open: if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Everyone:…

Higuchi: Damn, all y’all hoes depressed.

Q: you didn’t clap either.

Higuchi: SHUT THE FUCK UP—

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elise, trying to go with Dazai when he left the Mafia

Dazai:you can’t go…

Elise, still trying.

Dazai: no…I’m sorry, you can’t go.

Elise: fuck you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gin, sitting on the steps to her apartment.

Some lady walking by: and they were roommates.

Gin: oh my god they were roommates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elise: CHUUYA! Is that weed?!?!

Chuuya: no— it’s a crayon—

Elise: I’m calling the police!!!

Elise, types 911 on the microwave waves and they answer.

Chuuya:….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai: you either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds.

Q: we going to McDonalds if it don’t do my work?!

Dazai: No?!?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kajii, poor a box of cereal in a bowl but lemons come out.

Kajii: welp, when life gives you lemons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuuya: Q, let me see what you have!!!!

Q: A KNIFE!!!!

Chuuya: NO!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #shin soukoku #sskk #ranpoe #gay shit #FyoLai #SueGiku #BSD as a set #I feel like they’d be almost completely opposite of their characters #Fyodor would use so much slang omfg

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bisexualfemalemess · 8 months ago

Text

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PT 2 SPOILERS

Live reaction episode 5:

I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see Penelope’s answer to colin’s proposal but in my head she just straight up faceplanted outta that carriage. On another note, colin constantly looking back at her to check on her is peak protective husband. Colin ‘my wife’ bridgerton indeed. Also Penelope’s so loved by his family and not him being willing to fight Eloise, his own sister, like hold your horses buddy. El baby she’s loved him since you guys were children. Both are honestly valid and i love them both so much, i just need my peneloise besties back right now. Like so expeditiously. Awww, colin checking up on pen. He’s truly already so far gone. I’M SORRY THE TREE???? What the actual fuck???? Lady tilley arnold needs to get the fuck off my screen. I’ve never read the books but booktok and twitter made me love sophie already, i need her. Not pen listening to her family reading LW Lmaoo she seems so smug about it. EY LADY DANBURY HAPPY ABOUT POLIN THEY’RE SO LOVED BY EVERYONE. KANTHONY MY BABIES. MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE ACTUAL PARENTS STFU. Anthony’s so feral for her 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 aww hyacinth is so excited to tell them about polin’s new engagement my daughter fr. HYACINTH OMG IJBOL NOT HER SAYING GREGORY’S THE FAMILY PET I’MMA DIE. Eloise baby she did not use you, she loves you and you love her so make up bitches. Cressida is so gay for eloise no one can tell me otherwise. OH MY GOD NOT THE BOOK LINE ABOUT HIS LOVE BEING A THUNDERBOLT FROM THE SKY SOMEONE SEDATE ME (might need to make a part two and i’m only 10 minutes in) they’re not even married yet and Benedicts like “your wives” she’s always been a bridgerton for real. PORTIA I AM INDIFFERENT TOWARDS YOU BUT BACK OFF FROM MY GIRLY AND DON’T MAKE HER DOUBT HER RELATIONSHIP. COLINS SO HOT TELLING PORTIA OFF SOMEONE GET ME SOME HOLY WATER OR SOMETHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE’S BEEN WITH HER FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND HE’S ALREADY THROWING AROUND THE L-WORD OH HE FELL SO HARD FOR HER IMMA THROW MYSELF IN FRONT OF A MOVING TRUCK. MIRROR SCENE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ALRIGHT ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING OH HIS SPEECH IMMA KILL MYSELF IM SO SERIOUS. THIS IS PERFECT OH MY GOD, NICOLA COUGHLAN IS A GODESS AND THEIR CHEMISTRY IS SO PALPABLE. “LIE DOWN” THAT WAS SO FUCKING HOT, COLIN BRIDGERTON CAN COMMAND ME AROUND ANY DAY. Sex scene, sex scene, sex scene….TO POV???? Oh, that’s such a beautiful song choice. This is literally so intimate, i feel like I’m intruding. Colin bridgerton is a canon consent man and as a woman i think that’s so sexy. That was the cutest sex scene of my life, cute, hot, awkward, everything a first time is supposed to be (i wouldn’t know🙊) KANTHONY SCENE. HES THE CUTEST ALL KISSING HER STOMACH. Newton and Anthony always beefing. Their so cute 😫😫😫. Awww John and Francesca are so cute as well. Awwww him asking about marriage 😖😖😖. VISCOUNTESS KATE IN ACTION MY BABY GIRL. She’s working overtime being pregnant, viscountess and giving eloise advice. She clocked peneloise’s tea. AWW Post-sex polin is the cutest with the book line too 🥹🥹🥹🥹 and the teasing!!! They’re truly so friends to lovers. NOT HER GETTING INTERRUPTED WHEN SHE WANTS TO TELL HIM SHE’S WHISTLEDOWN. FUCK ASS SERVANTS. Oh poor pen having to listen to her fiancé trash-talk her without knowing he’s taking about her, like i wouldn’t tell him i’m Whistledown either after this, bet. Also they literally have no sense of personal space and it’s too cute. Aww a colin and eloise talk. THEY WERE INSEPARABLE AND THEY NEED TO BE AGAIN SOON OR IMMA DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC I SWEAR TO GOD. Peneloise as bestie sister-in-law’s is something that i need so bad it’s like not even funny anymore. Penelope’s sister need to leave her the fuck alone and portia needs to leave her ulterior motives at the door even penelope was like what the hell is going on. I don’t really mind will and alice plot honestly they’re just a cute married couple, much like polin will be. OH MY GOD NOT BENEDICT CALLING KATE SISTER IM DYING IM DECEASED. THAT FUCK ASS TOP HAH OH MY LORD. NOT COLIN CALLING PENELOPE HIS BRIDE TO BE 🫠

#bridgerton #polin #season three #fell first fell harder #colin x penelope #colin my wife bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #kanthony #creloise #peneloise #bridgerton spoilers #francesca x john #violet x marcus #is that a tag?#well i made it one i guess 🤷‍♀️

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nattinatalia · 2 years ago

Text

Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, and 9,567,356 others

yourusername Mama is out tonight 😜🤭 😈 Celebrating Grammy weekend 📸 by my hubby jackharlow

View all 1,900 comments

jackharlow My mama 😮‍💨🥵

yourusername Always bubs 🤞🏼��🫶🏻

urbanwyatt My job 🤦🏼‍♂️ 📸

jackharlow Well you’re not around. I did good though right?

yourusername LMAAOOO you did babe, if not I wouldn’t have posted them.

yourbestiename Damn hottie 🔥 🔥 pick me up!!!

druski2funnny No, what your ass needs to do is be with your husband.

yourbestiename STFU, you wanted drama, you got it.

neelamthadhani 😍😍😍😍 babes you’re hot

•

Liked by yourusername, druski2funnny, urbanwyatt, nemoachida, and 7,456,356 others

jackharlow Ready for whatever tonight brings, wether it’s another baby, some backseat loving, BRING IT!!!! 📸 by my sexy wife yourusername

View all 1,900 comments

yourusername JACKMAN!!!!!! No babies anytime soon. Backseat loving? Always 🤭

jackharlow Oh I’ll take that 🤪😜

druski2funnny FREAKS

druski2funnny But can I watch?

jackharlow NOOO

druski2funnny See now you’re just being mean, what happened to us being life partners?

yourusername When I get tired of him, I’ll send him your way.

druski2funnny Got it, you’re the best

jackharlow Do I have a say in this.

yourusername NO

druski2funnny NOPE

•

Liked by jackharlow, neelamthadhani, urbanwyatt, princeroyce, and 8,567,356 others

yourusername He doesn’t even know what I’m singing half of the time, but he’s my number one hype man 🥺🤞🏼

View all 1,900 comments

yourbestiename Love to see it 💜

claybornharlow Acting like a damn fool all night long 🙄

yourusername That’s how I love him🫶🏻😜

jackharlow For life baby 😍😘💜

yourusername And beyond that 🫶🏻🥺

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, yourusername, djdrama, nemoachida, and 8,678,345 others

jackharlow Matching with my girls 💚

View all 1,900 comments

yourusername 😘😘😘 We love you

neelamthadhani Aww

urbanwyatt Don’t say aww, Mia was crying because you kept trying to carry her 💀

druski2funnny Mia knows 😉 lmaooo

neelamthadhani Knows what?

druski2funnny That you’re annoying lmao

yourusername Now hold up, don’t be using my baby as an excuse 🤦🏻‍♀️😩😭😭😭😭

urbanwyatt Was she not crying when Nee tried carrying her?

yourusername Yes

urbanwyatt Ok so there you have it

neelamthadhani To be fair, she only likes going with her parents.

claybornharlow Not true, she loves when I carry her

neelamthadhani Whatever she still loves me

druski2funnny Does she though? This is the fifth time I hear she cries when you try to hold her

neelamthadhani DRU MIND YOUR BUSINESS

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, yourbestiename, and 7,556,345 others

yourusername Last night we celebrated my husband, I’m just so proud of the man he is. 2022 was definitely his year and this year will be 100xs better. Tonight you’ll win a Grammy- yes I said you WILL!!!!! There’s no one else who deserves it more, I’m putting it out into the universe and I know your fans are as well. He’s been stressed, so I booked us a couples massage and I was going to let him just relax for the day but he said he rather be with the kids until it’s time to get ready!!!!! AHHHHHH MY BABY IS A GRAMMY NOMINEE AND HES GONNA TAKE THEM ALL HOME 🙏🏻 also ummm why do y’all have him sitting next to that girl? 🙄 ANYWHOOO, goodluck bubs, I’m so proud of you and I’ll always be. I love you 💕

View all 1,700 comments

jackharlow 🥹🥹 Baby…….

jackharlow Don’t get me started now 😢 I fucking love you. Thank you for always having my back. For reassuring me whenever I don’t make it home in time due to work. Thank you for the best kids ever. Thank you for loving me, but most of all, thank you for riding this out with me and never second guessing our relationship. I love you mamas 😘

urbanwyatt ❤️

druski2funnny I guess he’s alright

yourusername He’s more than alright 🤪

yourbestiename Fam 🤍 I love you guys. Goodluck Jack 🙏🏻

neelamthadhani ❣️❣️❣️❣️couldn’t have said it any better!!!!! Tonight’s gonna be a good day!!!!!!

claybornharlow Idk who’s more nervous, your or him???? But good luck brother, I know you’ll win them all ❤️‍🔥

jackharlow Thank you. She’s more nervous though, I have to stop her from shaking her legs and playing with her ring

yourusername 😭😭😭😭😭 I’m just so excited and happy for you babe

druski2funnny What happens if he doesn’t win?

yourusername HE GETS TO PUT A BABY INSIDE ME!!!!!

urbanwyatt A couple of posts ago you said no babies, now you’re saying yes to him???

jackharlow 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux

@harlowsbby

@arination99

@cmalass

@jackharloww

@minkookie95

@deannaard

@jacksmoviestar

@harlowcomehome

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@itsyagirljaz

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x yn #instagram au #baby harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow fanfiction

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 1 year ago

Text

So um- I decided to make Gov get sick just to spite someone ( @greatinternetllama 👁️👁️🫵) and out of love for him so enjoy 👍

~~~~~

[3pm]

Gov had been up all night working on whatever government work he had to do. His head was pounding and he felt rather groggy and warm and sweaty. Not to mention his throat hurt a ton. The Fed has stayed up for much longer than this, so why was now so different? Whatever. Gov got up to go get a class of water for his aching throat, though he nearly fell over and he stumbled as he walked.

He walked into the kitchen where Utah happened to be and he waved to Beehive State, who waved and smiled in return. Gov really hope that Utah wouldn’t notice his stumbling and shakiness, but alas the stars don’t always align in our favor.

"Uhh Gov? Are you alright? You’re shaking quite a bit there…" Utah asked, concern evident in his voice. Gov almost felt bad about having to lie to the smaller, but he didn’t want anyone fussing over him.

"I’m fine Utah, just a bit tired is all." Gov said, making a half-assed attempt at smiling.

"M-Maybe you should sit down? You look like you’re gonna pass out any minute here." Utah suggested, offering a kind smile and pulling out a chair for Gov to sit in.

"No, I’m alright. I have work to do-…." Gov trailed off as a wave of dizziness hit him like a freight train.

"G-Gov? Are you sure you’re alri- Gov!!" Utah was cut off when Gov suddenly fell to the ground, and he rushed to catch him (DADDY UTAH TO THE RESCUE-). He hurriedly pulled the taller into his lap, checking to make sure that Gov was still breathing. Thankfully he was, and Utah checked to see if maybe Gov had a fever? He put his hand against Gov’s forehead and the side of his face, and he was startled at how warm he was….

Utah sighed and stood up, picking up Gov with much ease and took him to his office/bedroom. He was mildly startled at how light the Fed was, and made a mental note to tell the South and Midwest to make sure that Gov was eating properly as he gently laid him down in his bed and covered him with a blanket. The Beehive State took out his phone o text Massachusetts and tell him that Gov was sick….

~~~~~

[6pm]

Gov woke up with a slight groan and he opened his eyes a bit, trying to figure out where he was. He flinched a little bit when a familiar Boston accent filled the room. He looked over to see Mass sitting next to his bed.

"Welcome back to the land of the livin’ dumbass."

"Wha..? What happened..?" Gov asked groggily, his voice raspy due to disuse.

Mass stuck a thermometer in Gov’s mouth. "Utah said that ya passed out and that you were a bit feverish. And as I see it, you’re sick. Why the f(speaks Boston) were ya tryin’ to work whilst sick? Are ya outta yer damn mind??" He took the thermometer out of Gov’s mouth and sighed when it read 103 degrees.

"It’s not that big a deal though…." Gov said. His body said different, but he just told it to stfu.

"Kid you’ve literally got a fever. 103 degrees ya sick idiot. Yer not doin’ anythin’ til yer fully recovered." Mass exclaimed, putting a hand on Gov’s shoulder.

"B-but I have wo-"

"Don’t give a sh*t. The work can wait, your health is way more important." Mass said. "Now go to sleep, I’m gonna go get ya something small to eat and some medicine. Don’t you dare try to workin’ again. Cuz I know that your sneaky ass would try to pull that off."

Gov just gave a small huff of defeat, though he leaned into Mass’s hand when Mass ruffled his hair. Why did the states care about him? Gov wished he knew. He didn’t think he deserved it. Maybe the states just had pity over him? He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to think about it too much longer. Pity has to be the only answer…. Gov eventually drifted off, and Mass just set the medicine, water, and crackers on the nightstand and took a seat….

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttsh #wttt gov #wttsh gov #wttt massachusetts #wttsh massachusetts #wttt utah #wttsh utah

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cocoanmelaninsims · 1 year ago

Text

Shaun: Wassup Leah Happy Birthday!

Fallon: What am I chopped peas?

Leah: Hey Shaun. Don’t mind Fallon. She’s just jealous.

Leah: Look who finally showed up. what kept you?

Cassie: Hello Hello,. I can see I was missed.

Leah:You still have not answered my question.

Fallon: It was... Little puppy dog Shaun was whining about you not coming.

Shaun: Yo Fallon stfu.

Fallon: Don’t shoot the messenger.

Cassandra: ...I’m gonna go get a refill.

Cassandra: Following me are you?

Shaun: Maybe... You’re hard to track

Cassandra: Well I’ll cheers to that.

Shaun: Cheers....

Shaun: Let me ask you something..

Cassandra: Make your move.

Shaun: You ever think about that New years party?

Cas: I think about a lot of things. Maybe thats one of them. But love makes you soft. I’m kind of a deep wandering soul...ya know?

Cassandra: In any case... a kiss doesn't have to mean a relationship.

Shaun: Or maybe it could. I mean why can’t it. Doors clearly open, why not walk through.

Cassandra: I could. But I guess I won’t let myself. There’s other things on my mind.

Shaun: Ok...Well It just seems like we’ve been beating around this bush for a while.

Cassie: Come on dont be such a downer...

Shaun: Alright...Fine. But you should know, doors dont stay open forever.

Cassie: I’ll keep that in mind.

Shaun: Right... Well let’s get you home before your mom kills you.

Cassandra: Shaun... you’re walking me home remember... What’s with the attitude?

Shaun Sighs

Cassie: So you’re mad at me because I won’t stroke your ego?

Shaun: I'm allowed to be annoyed that you constantly play games, Cassandra. But I'm still your friend and I dont need you to stroke my ego as you put it.

Cassandra: I'm sorry, Shaun. I just can't do this with you right now.

Shaun: You said that already. I hear you.

Shaun: I gotta go. Glad you got home safe.

Cassandra: I can’t very well let you leave like this...

Shaun: Goodbye Cassie.

S1E3

#ts4 gameplay #ts4 screenshots #ts4 stories #black simmer #cocoanmelaninsims #ts4 roleplay #ts4 rp #black simblr #Aurorafalls #The Goths

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gardens-of-may · 5 months ago

Text

ENTRY THREE - chap. 50 to end

spoilers ahead

i don’t remember what happened

yay

i know what happened tho

i’m not going to tell you 😋

suck it ha!

wakey wakey

katharine hmm

A SCAVENGER HUNT?

WHAT

THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???

YES PEOPLE WHI ARE RACIST GO FUCK YOURSELF

AND MAKE JT HURT

WHAT

WXCUSE ME

WHAT THE HELL

saturday mornings

not a scavenger hunt then?

SYOP WITH GEB POV SWICTHSZ

i js realized both of the boys are dealing with their fathers

skye might be a pretty name but the human is actually vile

hmm

MY GID SAVANNAH

if gray hurts himself I WILL SUE

HAHAHA HIS HELLO THING IS THE CUTEST EVWR

IM GONNA CRY

CRY INTO MY BOWL OF INSATNT RAMBEN

ehehehe thomas thomas?

EW EW EW EW EW EWWWWW EUGH EW EW EW

EAHEHEJ SEE JDWB CSS EJR

WHAT THE FUCJ IS THAT BITVH SOING HERE

IM GOING TO FUCKING MILL HER

IT ACTUALLY THAT BITCH ISNT A PERSON

bitch…

YOU WILL BE FUCKING DEAD

AUGHHHH

THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND TIME GRAY HAS HAD A GUN PULLED ON HIM BECAUSE OF YOU

KYS

i bet IT sounds like a wet dog

but an ugly dog not a cute dog

what the hell

LET ME JS EAT MY BROWNIES IN PEACE FOR GODS SAKE

no we no we NO. WE.

AUGHHHH

bitch ☺️

KILL YOURSELT

she talks like she’s so wise and blah blah and respected but no

everyone HATES HER GUTS

DONT CALL HIM TAHT YOU ADRESS HIM AS FUCKING MR. HAWTHORNE OR SMTH STFU

you’re alone?

KILL YOURSELF THEN YOULL BE IN HELL WITH ALL THE OTHER DEMKNS

one

I DONT CARE NO ONE CARES

why I HATT YWOU

FUCK YOU

KILL YOURSELF

throw her in the pool

DROWN HER

it’s a promise I WILL ENTER THIS FUCKING BOOK AND PUT YOU SIX FEET UNDER

WHAT HAPPENED

oh hi nash ☺️

AND XANDER AHENDKKW

anyway WHY IS GIGI UNCONSCIOUS???

oh gigi

awww ticklish gray

i love her SO MUCH

FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE

MY GOD GIGI

omg it’s like me after the sols times one hundred

I HATE POV SWITCHING

I DONT CAREEEEE ABOUT JAMESON

well

anywayyyy

😕😕😕

please don’t get distracted, we know your girlfriend is hot but don’t

we’ll celebrate

we know

le oop

A HINT???

NOT A POV SWITCH

fhehsha HIS SISTERS 🥰🥰

NOT A FLASHBACK

eugh

THROWING UP 🤮

it’s her

em*ly 🤢🤢

ughhhhh

IM GONNA SCREAM WHERE IS MY AVERY

😳😳😳

NO???

EXCUSE ME

i don’t really think you do love them

ARGH

WHACKING RN

oh. poor gray.

LYRA 😍😍

she’s alive bro

OH MY GOD

i’m back bitches

EWWWW

I CANNIT WITH BLOODY DIRT FINGERS

ARGHHH

bribing

my favorite

GIGI 😭

no it’s alright girl i’d do the same

oh.

I LOVE ACACIA OMG

SHES WIDNERFUL

POOKIE

I FORGIT ABKR THE BUTCH

awww 🥰

cookies 🍪

😐😐😐

I CANNOT WITH THESE POV SWITCHES

UGH MORW BLOUD

AVERY WHAT THE FUCK

so no one won the game

JAHAHAH

oh ☹️

he’s really lonely

IS IT THAT BITCH

EUGHHB EVEN WORDE ITS UGLY GUY

is he dead?

WHAT THE FUCK

HUH

EUGH

UGLY GUY WHAT

GIGI WHAT

btw maisie peters IS gigi

eve is a bitch who should be six feet under

huh

awww 🥰

no now i’m crying

ohhhhh shittyttttt

oh.

AAYLDUXC

my heart HAS BEEN RIPPED OUT

tears on my pillow

THATS TERRIBLE MINDSET

THAT FUCKING RXCUSE OF A GRANDFATHER MESSED THEM SO BAD

is zella alice?

she’s right. rich white boys het farrr in life

BRUH

LYRA 😍😍😍

BITCH WHAT DO YOU MEAN

YOU PULLED A GUN ON HIM AND YOU EXPECT TO BE BESTIES

WHATTTTT

bitch jamie can’t even come

he needs to laugh

stop 💀

omg that would be fucking terrifying

gigi and gray’s relationship means so much to me

well i already knew that so hahaha

BITCHBBBHBBV

I HAVE NEVER HAGED SOMEONE MORE THAN THIS FUCKING BITCHASS IF A GIRL

why would you end a book like that?

now i am going to go chug some coffee and we are jumping straight into the grandest game

the end.

#the inheritance games #tig #the brothers hawthorne #tbh #🗝️⋆｡ may’s reviews #🗝️⋆｡ fairy stole a book

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hiddenwashington · 2 years ago

Text

we are the april fools

welcome to the brain cell of the admin team working! we love a good bit so, here is a compilation of our bullshit for your memeing pleasure. enjoy!

**tw for nsfw, drug mention, alcohol mention, swearing

‘ fuck off you fucking gremlin ’

‘ mister mistoffelees is my cat boyfriend ’

‘ one is a kink, one is a crime ’

‘ i live for chaos you gotta feed me ’

‘ i’ll continue being an asshole for your amusement ’

‘ i’m ready, bring on the anxiety ’

‘ hey bro, what the fuck ’

‘ we’ll scar ourselves for valentines day ��

‘ and then she wrote me a novel about his cocaine addiction ’

‘ sponsored by ritz cheese crackers, absolute shit ’

‘ you have no legacy, your legacy is to be disappointed all the time ’

‘ you’re like some sad soccer mom that came for the wine instead of your kids soccer game ’

‘ karen can choke i would never forget the sangria ’

‘ your moms dead, i’m your problem now ’

‘ it is i, the mullet of your dreams ’

‘ you cannot mention pornhub! this is why you’re not hr ’

‘ i’m on the clock to knock your lights out ’

‘ i’m livin la tiddy loca ’

‘ she was hot, i don’t know what to tell you ’

‘ righting the world and the economy one karen at a time ’

‘ you can fight my brain and my anxiety sis we’re having ✨a terrible time✨ ’

‘ i’m on it drag that bitch to denny’s i’ll take her ass out ’

‘ can god stop vibe checking me ’

‘ today i learned that cocaine could be an antidepressant if the government weren’t cowards ’

‘ i had five shots of espresso, even god can’t stop me ’

‘ ted bundy is up first i will square up ’

‘ one day i will have the pleasure of going to hell and murdering freud ’

‘ i will not face consequences for my actions. you can not make me ’

‘ i can accept that i have a flaw or two. that’s it though, just two ’

‘ i know you try very hard, but you are very stupid ’

‘ let’s go straight, a thing we’ve never said before in this groupchat ’

‘ you better be ready to sleep with moth man - hi dad! ’

‘ that’s like the saddest uwu i’ve heard in my life ’

‘ i just want the thrill of rejecting a god ’

‘ you really think you could take on the kool-aid man and take no damage??? ’

‘ i don’t have a foot fetish, i’m just autistic ’

‘ i haven’t even learned multiplication, how am i supposed to know what a pyramid scheme is? ’

‘ do i look sexy while dying? ’

‘ have you been watching too much youtube? ’

‘ fucking ipad kids, man ’

‘ i can be sane about this i promise but not today ’

‘ i’m a catch and i can also sleep with a younger man ’

‘ how do you milk an oat ’

‘ fuck my dad ’

‘ sometimes you just need to start swinging ’

‘ i just watched a cat girl walk out of thin air in a starbucks ’

‘ isn’t that that furry thing people are into ’

‘ i’m gonna go on The Google and see if i can figure anything out ’

‘ am i high too? ’

‘ fuck off bambi ’

‘ since there was no warning and i make the rules here ’

‘ you’ll go where i say you’ll go ’

‘ does a - mother fucker ’

‘ gonna play chase the emo ’

‘ we love biting dilfs….? ’

‘ optimistic nihilism, right? none of us matter ’

‘ it’s kinda cringe to be kidnapped ’

‘ you rolled a 5, stfu this rabbit’s coming to brand you ’

‘ is he immune to KNIVES?? ’

‘ alright – now to kill this dad ’

‘ if you think garfield is going to stand against me in court, you’re out of your fucking mind ’

‘ no offense but you have like no mom vibes ’

‘ i think i got threatened by a furry ’

‘ speak of the cat lady and she shall appear ’

**shotguns frappuccino** ‘ there’s many ways to drink a drink ’

‘ these hands are magic, baby ’

‘ are you saying naruto is jesus?? ’

‘ your pride is going to get us killed ’

‘ you look like you could fit under a bush ’

‘ y’all test me… ’

‘ it’s your reward for being a dumb bitch ’

‘ i am SO GLAD you didn’t get vored by a cloud ’

‘ did you get so high/drunk you circled back to sober? ’

‘ try to crowd surf the third graders! ’

‘ some things are better off unknown , the phrase will haunt me but… ’

‘ we’ve summoned satanic tennessee ’

‘ what’s a chakra? i didn’t bring anything with me ’

‘ hey lady, did you give me crack ? ’

‘ there are no nutrients in my body, only spite! ’

‘ i’m here to be fun and cute! not smart! ’

‘ i don’t joke about setting timers ’

‘ eggs aren’t meat... yet ’

‘ this is being run by a bisexual maniac ’

‘ maybe nessie’s lonely, maybe nessie needs to get laid! ’

‘ biting is my kink ‘

‘ don’t worry, i will slowly eat away at you until you are a husk of a person ’

#meme day #long post tw #featuring the hits from two dnd campaigns and nightmare comments in the admin discord

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vespertin-y · 2 years ago

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liveblog time - here’s the first part of the third trial! OH BOY

-monokuma spends a long time insisting that he does NOT lie about motives and that the dead can be revived, but *only in the ultimate academy*. this...still doesn’t tell us how exactly they’re being revived (character backstory put into a new body VS the og person being put back into the simulation), but it’s at least interesting!

-”i dunno about tenko, but i’m pretty fuckin’ sure kiyo murdered angie!” miu calling the murderer themselves but then proceeding to be completely wrong about *how* the murder happened happens in nearly every trial and it’s always hilarious. love u queen.

-”you mean one of those *two* people! cuz a robot ain’t people, jack!” MIU! after all that maintenence together!?

-again with the ‘no-one could have opened that door but kokichi’! i get why it was written like this, but it’s still such a stupid assumption for the characters to make. they don’t even ASK if the others can lockpick, let alone consider that’s something easily lied about.

-”yeah, i did it. i killed angie.” [...hm.] HPDSHDDGHSGD SHUICHI YOU COULD AT LEAST *PRETEND* TO CONSIDER IT YOU’RE GONNA HURT HIS FEELINGS!! he even pulls out his blank, serious face for this one!!

-can irouma be normal. for FIVE MINUTES-

-”silence, outsider! only the Suspect Rangers are allowed to speak!” HPRGGDGDGDGFHFH. go go suspect rangers cartoon when...

-”it’s not meaningless!” [himiko?] “tenko’s death was meaningless? how dare you! poor tenko...how could you do this to her!?” “h-himiko...” “himiko, stop it with your crappy lies.” “lies...?” “everything you said is total bs. you didn’t give two shits about tenko when she was alive...but now you’re like, “oh no! poor tenko!” after she’s dead. c’mon, really?” “kokichi! enough!” ok first of all the voice acting here is so fucking good. himiko’s first shout before she dissolves into tears made me flinch in my seat, and kokichi is so low and cold and vicious. it’s also personally satisfying to me that’s it’s *gonta* who tells kokichi to stfu here, and that kokichi *listens* - he won’t bring this up again until after the trial, when he’s significantly gentler about it.

-”alright! i’ll put a silencing curse on whoever calls tenko’s death meaningless! the name of the curse is...Death Curse!” “i, um...suppose being dead would silence someone pretty good.” himiko and tsumugi r such a funny duo, they should’ve been besties

-”no, even if it was a different culprit, we need to know how tenko died. if we don’t find out who killed her, we won’t be able to work together. not now, not ever.” kaito is correct here however pls consider: me and tsumugi would really enjoy the paranoia and angst of knowing one of the group is a blackened!!

-”finally, you noticed! geez, you’re so slow...” “huh? did kokichi want us to notice-” FUCK now i really wish i transcribed it, but there was a bit early on in the trial where shuichi proves miu wrong and she claims she was just doing a bit to lead them to the right answer, and gonta says that’s really smart of her - he’s clearly applying the same concept here, and it makes me wonder how often he does so. tracking the thought processes of v3 characters is always so fascinating...

-”let us talk about tenko’s case, then. perhaps that will provide us a clue.” “y-yeah, maybe...” [i don’t mind going over tenko’s case, but...that was an abrupt change of topic. was that...intentional...?] HOLY SHIT WE ARE HALF AN HOUR INTO A FOUR HOUR TRIAL AND SHUICHI’S ALREADY CAUGHT ON. the serial killer backstory is definitely bullshit, kiyo literally cannot hide a murder to save his life.

-”well, that’s probably just a coinky-dink. the most suspicious out of us four is really...kiyo!” i’m starting to feel bad for the guy this is so embarrassing 😭

-”kehehe...it’s appearing before me...ooooh! i can see it clearly! the true identity of tenko’s killer!” bro you are laying it on WAY TOO THICK

-”maybe the floor and the hole have nothing to do with this case.” ”then why was floorboard under tenko lined up funny? gonta think that was so culprit could stab tenko from under floor...” “ooohh! nice observation, gonta! are you finally getting used to the class trials?” “uh-huh. thank you.” no offense but v3′s resident clown act obliterated me and then had a picnic on my grave i would simply quit murder.

-the entire rebuttal showdown is just miu correctly singling out kiyo - again - but being completely wrong about the method, so you have to disprove her. i’m in TEARS.

#dr #mem liveblogs

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garrulousgeologist · 2 years ago

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> Kells: Just loose it.

My mental health completely fell apart after I started reading Homestuck.

Not clickbait.

I did not even turn my computer on for the past several days, amongst many other not coping mechanisms. I won’t be reading Homestuck from the website on my phone I'm not an animal.

(That is in fact how I read most of Homestuck as it was actively posted to the mspaintadventures website from the ages of 15-18. Although back then it was on my ipod touch, I didn’t have a smartphone yet).

So, my continued re-read had to wait. For anyone following my journey- I’m a complete mess. If I disappear for long stints just don’t worry about it I always come back. My personal goal is one page of Homestuck every week. That’s it. A goal I (might) be able to reach. This week I managed to get myself to my desk Saturday evening! Right in the nick of time. When will I post this? Only you know that! And me in the future but not the past/present me writing this now (pack it up, Karkat).

Alright fuck even I want to tell me to stfu. Here’s the actual reflection:

ROSE 💜

She’s trying just as hard as I was at her age. She’ll figure it out.

She was definitely my favorite in the past. The Lalondes hold a very special place in my heart, I think they always will. My actual mother is still Mamalonde in my phone to this day and I have no intention of changing that.

Homestuck taught me a lot of vocabulary back when I first read it. I definitely remember still feeling like I was missing information even after googling what I could (words, concepts, the perspective of someone older than 15). I wondered when I started this re-read if I would see any words I had to look up like I did in high school.

Of course. Of course, who else to bring me to this but Rose Lalonde.

What the fuck is [sic]. I doubt either rose or rox would be using the colloquial ‘sick’ to describe the item. So I googled it.

Now I know. (Also, hi Roxy girl, I can’t wait to get to you ♥ )

[S] John: Take bite of apple. ==> End of Act 1.

Oh. Huh. I guess we get more of Rose later. I thought I remembered way more of her before the end of act 1, but alas, I’ll have to get back to loving everything about her later.

Now it’s time for..

Oh. We’re back now. So I didn’t forget, I’m just conditioned to think intermissions are long as fuck. Okay then Wayward Vagabond, I’ll have to get back to loving everything about you later. Back to Rose!

Uh. . . .

Yes, right right, I knew that. -ahem-

What’s next? Oh god, the kernel.

Now what in the fresh fluorescent hell does THAT mean (any tips, eidolonyaldaboath?). Again, on the surface I can see with my eyes what happened. The kernel wasn’t one cohesive thing to begin with, it was a..sprite thing, combined with two other things in its environment. And now its split into three again, okay, okay, I can follow that I think. The sprite is transformed once the apple is bitten into, or, once the world is destroyed and the players make it past the meteor shower/are isekai’d into the game, kind of. This I can accept, and the two kernel halves become catalysts for, uh, whatever they become catalysts for.

Anyway, what is left is still part giant jester plushy. I’m straining my memory so hard to remember where the other parts go. What’s below John’s house?? What’s above?? I can’t remember! So we’re gonna ignore it for now.

In favor of a FLASH GAME!! WOOOO HELL YEAH this is the experience I remember!!!

Eternal thank yous to Alexis ‘Gankro’ Beingessner for programming this recreation, it is outstanding. I truly cannot wait for one of the most memorable experiences I had reading Homestuck originally- walking around the land of wind and shade and playing with the salamanders and hearing their stories. I don’t know if the same person will have programmed it but this initial peek into how true to history the unofficial Homestuck collection experience is has made me soooo hype.

Welcome Nanasprite!! Hoo hoo!

Surely this won’t become relevant in the future. Speaking of the future, all the text cap commands made me think of Karkat automatically, but now that I’ve seen the wayward vagabond twice already, KK has most definitely not gotten in contact with John yet (from johns so-far linear perspective). It’s the fucking mayor! Big fan of that guy. Anyway I just figured that out lmao.

Alright, let’s talk about the latent racism in Homestuck for a moment. It feels too weird to ignore it, but I kind of also don’t want to focus on it, nor do I want to gloss it over, so I’m giving the concept of 2015 internet latent racism a moment here before we move on:

The human characters in Homestuck are all meant to be blank canvases that you could project any skin tone, ethnicity, and any specific facial or body features onto. They don’t have voices, so accents and languages I feel are also totally up to the audience! This much is pretty widely embraced in the fandom, I think. With this in mind, much of the language used by Dave for example might be easily excused if you decide he is a young black kid.

However, the author is white. And Hussie wrote these things, and some of it definitely feels off. Like “an especially ethnic wedding”. This doesn’t feel like it’s based on respect and experience. All the Obama jokes- many of which are fine and hilarious, many of which are not fine or funny, and some of which are disrespectful and also hilarious- stand out in 2023. While the internet was a different place and language evolves at lightning speed, as someone who read it at a young age while it was being actively written and posted: It felt uncomfortable in 2015, too.

That’s all I really want to say. I’ll hold space for the uncomfortable feeling some of these lines create, without overshadowing the rest of the story. It sure does make the genius of this webcomic a whole lot more human, though.

Tone shift:

Oh? Interesting. Surely this won’t become relevant in the future.

Remember when I said I’d talk more about the game (SBURB in this case) choosing children to receive copies and attempt a session? When that happens horrorterrors are involved, so I’ll expand on them there, too.

Holy shit! I had no idea the window thing was planted so early! This is the kind of re-read revelation I wanted.

“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.” -American sports legend, Charles Barkley

[T.S. Elliot said that.]

Also, still topical. Good thing I got back to this before April was completely over.

Yooo, D-O-Double-G!

Wait. Is that long time fan favorite, David Elizabeth Strider?

Yes.

Hell Yes.

Hell Fucking Yes.

tl;dr

Never expect consistency from Kells. Kells very much enjoys Rose <3 but is still learning her level of vocabulary. The secrets of the kernelsprite continue to elude Kells. [Interlude to acknowledge problematic source content]. Many things happen that will surely not be significantly relevant in the future.

#post 4 #homestuck #homestuck reread #homestuck liveblog #rose lalonde #dave strider #snoop dogg #kernelsprite

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howyouloveyourdragon · 2 years ago

Note

tldr; EXCUSE ME MISS MA'AM. WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WRITE THIS WELL.

‘You shall marry Aemond within the next moon turns. For the good of the Realm.’

i--

The Dowager Queen had openly admitted to being against the match – of course, the prospect of her perfect son, married off to a lowly bastard of Rhaenyra's (otherwise said, her last surviving child), didn’t specifically thrill her.

PFFFFFFFFF babe sweetheart schnookums fr? cause me personally? i would not let that slide

Still, it couldn’t be helped. And if the Velaryon wanted to keep her head away from a spike, she had no other choice but to comply.

reader's life is always threatened and i fucking love that personally

give me the tea

Although… she wasn’t a Velaryon now, was she? Aegon the Usurper made sure of that.

YOU C U N T

His final gift to her was to strip her of all her titles. She had been openly declared a bastard – before the masses, before the Court.

actual arsehole

MINA ISTFG I WILL GUT HIM RN

With a wide smile upon his burnt lips, the “King” had told her she’d be a Targaryen instead.

okay i mean...at least there's that ig

Aemond would inherit the seat with the Usurper’s blessing, as a homage brought to his able fighting and his shown bravery on the bloody battlefield.

i will gut you right here and now

‘I shan’t marry your son. Not now, not ever.’ Her own voice rang out. ‘You will do exactly as demanded.’ ‘I would rather die than bear the treacherous children of that monstrous beast.’

THAT'S RIGHT BABE

TELL 'EM

At first, she’d been restless in her attempts to escape the Keep. Her every waking hour was spent shamelessly inside the Sept, where she prayed not for the safety of her brothers’ souls, but for revenge against the mutted Greens.

okay but jace :(

She spent the first night of their betrothal scraping her knuckles so harshly, that they broke and cracked under the stimulation of the cold water.

mina this is mean :( i want to hug her

Her thirst for vengeance ceased after the first two months.

slay

Every night, without a fail, she woke up tormented by nightmares – her throat burning with absolving shrieks of fear, exacerbated breaths of air and flimsy nightdresses, damp throughout by breaks of sweat.

i can already feel how heartwrenching this is gonna be when she has to sleep next to aemond

The first night she lashed out onto her bedding was the night she found out Aemond had moved his Quarters next to hers. He yanked the door open and stepped into the light of her candle – looking ravished, completely out of breath and startled. Started not for his own accord and safety, but for the state that his future wife had been in. ‘Shit, it’s alright, I’m here–’

oh wait

but his hurt expression was masked quickly with one most bitter and taciturn.

what an arsehole let me hit him

Even though nothing had been, or ever will be, as she achingly wished them to.

MINIKA. MINEAPOLLIS. MINA. WHAT THE HECK. HOW DARE YOU GET ME IN A STATE LIKE THIS RN

“You could at least attempt to look happy.” His chastising tone rained upon her, as his Lady remained hammered in her seat. Maids flocked to her like lost chickens to their cock, arranging her hair and picking out dresses fit for their engagement parade.

stfu

whilst grabbing a deep green garment

that is so unbelievably fucked up

“The red one with black lacings.”

HAH YES BITCH YES

A smile tugged at the ends of his upturned lips, but the look inside his eye remained frigid and unforgiving.

it's funny, aemond. laugh.

Their faces were so close to each other, that their moving lips were almost touching.

why am i into this?

“Your bastard brothers were ample proud. Look where that brought them.”

and im back to hating him again 👍

With a single and effective move, she spat harshly in his face, eliciting a groan from her broader perpetrator.

YES

“Fuck you,” She hissed out slowly, “Don’t you dare talk of my family – my brothers were ten times the man you are.”

and jace had ten times the size of your di--

“If you wish not to attend our engagement parade wearing the clothes I’ve chosen for you,” He muttered against her face, a scorned look adorning his own, “Then you won’t be wearing anything at all.”

...okay now im scared for her

He nodded to her in a spry and calloused manner, and brought his hand out to touch her cheek. His knuckles had begun to bleed, busted by the force of impact that his fist had faced for him.

No, she had whispered to herself, as she writhed into the soft bedding. If she still thirsted for revenge, she would have to marry Aemond. Keep him interested and relaxed – yearning for her voice and company.

the thing that i love most about her is that she's so smart in the ways she goes about it

“There is to be no bedding ceremony.” He repeated himself with ease, “I frightened her enough already. The girl will be plenty uncomfortable without the aid of chafing eyes.”

what makes me feel ill is that he isn't doing this for her, he's doing it because he's a jealous possessive cunt

MISS MA'AM. MISS MA'AM. THIS ISN'T FAIR YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME.

Hi, love your works so much! Can't wait for more updates 🥰🥰 I was wondering maybe you'd like the idea where book!Aemond and Velarion!(Strong?)Reader are in an arranged marriage. But Reader just knows what to say and how to act so that Aemond is wrapped around her finger (kinda thought of Margaery and Joffrey situation, she was such a talented schemer, worthy of winning the Throne 😭). I don't really know about the setting, like if it's before, during or after the Dance... just thought it'd be interesting to see this kind of plot with our beloved Prince 🤴🏼🐉

If you don't like it, just ignore me 🙈

Dragon Sickness (18+)

Pairing: bookcanon!Aemond x Strong!Niece!Reader

Warnings: No usage of (Y/N), Greens win AU, bookcanon Greens, the obvious Targaryen incest, mentions of major character deaths (we're entering spoiler grounds, but not really), blood, gore etc.

Word Count: 3.5K+

Author's Note: I fell in love with this idea the moment I saw it! I ended up altering the plot line for this one-shot a little bit - the reader will definitely grow into the Margaery architype, but today you shall see her as she was when she just learned how to make ends meet with her newfound life at Court.

I don't know if I should turn this into yet another series, but if you guys enjoyed this, let me know

Also, thank you so, so much for your kind words ♡ i'm hugging you to the moon and back!

Who could ever blame you for your indiscreet acts? Alliances change when the world you know suddenly turns upside down.

She remembered how weak she was. How scared she had been.

How her eyes widened into two brown specs of uncertainty, how her mouth fell agape, as she mulled over Alicent’s words.

‘You shall marry Aemond within the next moon turns. For the good of the Realm.’

Still, it couldn’t be helped. And if the Velaryon wanted to keep her head away from a spike, she had no other choice but to comply.

Although… she wasn’t a Velaryon now, was she? Aegon the Usurper made sure of that.

His final gift to her was to strip her of all her titles. She had been openly declared a bastard – before the masses, before the Court.

With a wide smile upon his burnt lips, the “King” had told her she’d be a Targaryen instead. Driftmark wouldn’t matter, her legacy wouldn’t matter. Aemond would inherit the seat with the Usurper’s blessing, as a homage brought to his able fighting and his shown bravery on the bloody battlefield.

Never mind that he’d never partaken in a fight; save for the one that killed her stepfather, Daemon, and sent her poor mother in a downward spiral. Aemond had chosen his adversaries wisely, and managed to go through the whole war without as much of a scratch upon his silver armour.

‘I shan’t marry your son. Not now, not ever.’ Her own voice rang out.

‘You will do exactly as demanded.’

‘I would rather die than bear the treacherous children of that monstrous beast.’

A monstrous beast. That is what Aemond was.

And that is what he shall remain. No matter how many gifts he brought to her. No matter how many hours of their days and days in their weeks and weeks in their months they spent promenading those ghastly gardens.

‘You will if you know your best interests. Your own head may hold no value to you, but a single swing of my son’s sword would be enough to bring forth the ruin of House Blackwood.’

The slight breeze of the cathedral mended her flesh from the heat of summer. And no one dared to approach or talk to her. The quietness was a welcomed deed.

During the first night of their betrothal, her glossy eyes scanned Aemond’s face. His hands wantonly gripped at his thighs and a slight twitch of his mouth, accompanied by an elongated hum escaped his lips.

There was no other discernable expression. And when he led her to the chambers of her early girlhood, he merely bowed and kissed her hand.

She spent the first night of their betrothal scraping her knuckles so harshly, that they broke and cracked under the stimulation of the cold water.

Her thirst for vengeance ceased after the first two months. Her wedding date was approaching swiftly, and she found herself faced with the abhorrent truth. She had no allies. No more friends at Court. The girl had shut herself in her tiny room, losing her mind with the pain and grief that flooded her at night: the faces of her mother, her brothers, her father. The sound of their screams and their endless pleas for help.

‘Shit, it’s alright, I’m here–’

The echo of his mellow voice deterred her to let out a blood-curdling scream, that would have rivalled even the one of the late Queen Rhaenyra, after Aegon the Usurper ceased her at Dragonstone, and reeled his dragon to eat her whole.

‘Get the fuck away from me! Get the fuck out of my room!’

Her sobs pierced into the man’s heart, but his hurt expression was masked quickly with one most bitter and taciturn. He clenched his fists ruefully by his side, and spat out an apology in a low and dangerous tone.

‘As you wish.’

And how dearly he loved those words:

‘As you wish.’

'As you desire.’

Even though nothing had been, or ever will be, as she achingly wished them to.

Her face contorted into the mirror, and a faint sigh beleft her lips. Carefully she turned around, reflecting his stance with a subtle arch to her shapely brow.

“It’s bad luck to see your bride before the wedding ceremony.”

“An old wives' tale. And one that applies only on the day itself.”

“Perhaps we should encourage tradition more. Make it so we don’t cross paths at all til then.”

Just as fast as it came, the feral look dissolved over his tired face. Aemond heaved out a heavy exhale and merely settled to growl at her maids.

“Leave us. Now.”

A discontented look painted over her fair features. His niece opened her mouth in protest, to try and stop the fleeing girls from truly making their escape.

“I must remind my Prince that the engagement assembly will be held in less than an hour. I believe I should like them to stay.”

The gathered women exchanged lost and protruding glances, until the former King Regent spoke again.

“They will leave us at once.”

“They’ll do no such a thing. They must make haste to get me ready. We wouldn’t want to upset your mother.”

“I’m more than capable of lacing up a loose bodice.”

The tight expression on her face deserted her features with the leave of his smug retort. She swallowed thickly in enraged abandon, and silently beseeched her ladies not to leave her all alone.

Still ravishing her with his bold stare, Aemond stepped another foot into the cosy confinements of her tidy prison. “If I’m to turn around now and find any of you standing before me, I’ll arrange that you’re all flogged and defiled beyond the utter of salvation.”

Brisk footsteps swallowed the room, echoing wildly through the narrow dark hallways. The former Velaryon shook her head in disarray, and graced her soon-to-be-husband with a tight smile and a nod.

“Congratulations.” She uttered humorously, “I should enjoy looking like a fool tonight much more than being proper by your side.”

As if drowned below a trace, Aemond took another step in the direction of the frowning Princess. His face remained impenetrable, but as he opened his mouth to speak, his voice ran meek, unsure and hoarse.

“Turn around.” He commanded her gently, whilst grabbing a deep green garment from the cluttery made on her bed. Despite her lack of desire to abide by his request, the woman turned her back to him and muttered slowly, though much softer than intended.

“I don’t like that one. It’ll make the skirts look out of place.”

“Which one do you want, then?” His whisper had made her draw in a sharp gasp; the warmth of his breath fell soothingly over the nape of her neck, caressing her delicate skin in a way she hadn’t known was possible.

“The red one with black lacings.”

His hand came to spin her back around, and their noses nearly touched together. A smile tugged at the ends of his upturned lips, but the look inside his eye remained frigid and unforgiving.

“Your petticoat won’t be those colours.”

A conceited scowl graced her face. She reached her hand behind him and skillfully snatched one of a different design. “Fine. I want to wear this one, then.”

The obnoxious blue and silver danced across her paling skin. And if Aemond weren’t so dazed by their proximity and lack of air, he might have laughed at her feeble attempts of vexing him.

“Those are Velaryon hues.”

“Perfect. I shall honour my house well.”

“You are not a Velaryon to grace them with such a feat.”

“No, you are absolutely right. Your brother did name me a Targaryen.”

Their faces were so close to each other, that their moving lips were almost touching.

“Yet I can’t wear black and red either.” A prompted look disarmed the Prince, “It is all very confusing.”

His lone orb descended to her puffing bosom, but Aemond soon directed himself upon a more elusive image. His fingers twitched with the need to grab a hold of her – to pull away those last pieces of cloth that shielded her away from view.

“You know full well why I can’t allow that.” He hummed in unmoving disapproval, “As much as I enjoy your voice and the raptures of your closeness, I must say this conversation bores me.”

“I should be able to wear what I want.” Came her prompt and swift reply, “But of course, Your Grace, forgive me. ‘Tis not for men to pounder on laces and brims.” Her palms took to rest upon his bulging chest, and the girl nearly removed them at once, as the thrumming of his heart enterlaced with her slim fingers. Still, she furrowed her brows in a most perplexed of mockeries, and insatiably drove on, “Indeed resilient men such as yourself occupy their time much better.”

The callouses of his hands fell heavily upon her cheeks.

“Fucking their ways through brothels, getting their pricks wet, and fantasising about wars.”

The harshness of his next tug nearly broke her brave facade – her eyes widened in mistrust, and a slight recoil braced over her straightened back. Her small fingers clasped over his shaking wrist, which held onto her face with a gentleness untoward; one completely mismatching with the predatory glimmer in his eye.

The man he was, and the man he was trying to be would surely never mend to one.

A Kinslayer. A monster. A divergent freak.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

His thumb played absent-mindedly at her lower lip, and the young Princess tried her damnest not to bite him. “Did I strike a nerve with that one?”

“You are as imprudent as you are beautiful. A family trait, I assume.”

“You have my gratitude for the flattering commentary. I’m very proud of my heritage.”

His lilac orb bore into her, and the man let out a reserved laugh, “Your bastard brothers were ample proud. Look where that brought them.” The rough end of his hand gripped her own painfully, before she could make for a swing at his handsome face. “Lost in the seas, rotting at the bottom of an ocean, nestling inside Sunfyre’s belly.”

While her hands were clasped together, her mouth wasn’t sown shut. With a single and effective move, she spat harshly in his face, eliciting a groan from her broader perpetrator.

Though his nostrils flared up in disdain, the man graced her with a calculated smirk. “Did I strike a nerve with that one?” He mocked her with feigned interest.

“Fuck you,” She hissed out slowly, “Don’t you dare talk of my family – my brothers were ten times the man you are.”

“Oh, but I have every right to talk about your family. Given that I will be all yours shortly.” Once more he forced her to turn around, and kneeled over to her spasming form, to begin dressing her up; in nought else, of course, but the mundane silks of his choosing.

"Doesn't the prospect thrill you? To become my lady-wife, to finally bear a true Targaryen inside your royal womb?"

So hopeless and defeated she felt, that the youth jerked herself relentlessly, while repeating him the same plethora of words. “You cannot force me to be your whore. You cannot force me to wear this. I will not bear your Hightower green.”

Aemond could feel his patience running thin – and when her foot came into contact with his setting knee, the man let out a ferocious growl, and promptly trapped the girl in his arms, with the aid of a nearby wall.

“So you want to be difficult? You don’t want to wear this? Hmm? Well, who am I not to abide my Lady’s burning wishes?”

The sharpness of his dagger came into quick contact with the milky skin of her thighs. And she might have almost screamed, if Aemond didn’t immediately pull himself away. His hard chest grazed hers for but a moment, as the Prince cast his attention to her moving shadow.

She huffed out a dispensing pant and pursed her lips into a tight line.

She remained rigid and poised, until a spark of amusement swirled into her eyes.

The first crack was that of a lax smile. The next, a tremor to her lips. The calm before the storm approached, until all rattled down with a mirthed laugh cascading from her reddened lips.

“Do you mean to frighten me with this promise?” She asked through the arch of an uncertain brow, “As if every man in this cursed Keep won’t get to watch me whore myself out to you anyway, when our wedding night will come?”

His face suddenly hardened at the notion of their reality – as if he didn’t give much thought to the bedding ceremony. To his Lady being watched by a thousand other eyes but his.

Aemond suddenly darkened, and his fist came into contact with a near spot on the wall, so awfully close to her frightened, paling face.

She watched with wide eyes how his stare contorted from one of realisation to one of fury. He stiffly peeled his body away from hers, and strained himself to leave her be. The jealous and possessive knots that churned painfully inside his stomach burned his skin upon the surface, and constricted the air he brashly took in.

He nodded to her in a spry and calloused manner, and brought his hand out to touch her cheek. His knuckles had begun to bleed, busted by the force of impact that his fist had faced for him. Behind his eye danced a look of seldom shame – he gnawed harshly at his bottom lip, and pondered, for a while, on apologising to his niece; for his lack of princely conduct, for his show of impropriety – for his inability to keep himself at bay.

Still his thoughts failed to merge to words, and so the man ran his eye one final time over her defensive pose, and merely left her standing there.

As if turned into a statue, the girl barely registered the lethargic closing of the door, the hurried and heavy footsteps that travelled further and further away from her quaint and cluttered space, and the animated curse that slipped past her uncle's throat.

Did he just dare to leave her there, with her petticoat half up her legs, in nought else but a flimsy nightdress?

At first she thought that his avoidance was a blessing in disguise.

For after clashing wits with Aemond, and after his swift hurried departure, the man had barely graced her with another word.

His hand held onto hers for the whole duration of the procession. He wordlessly forced her to dance two dances, and led her to her Quarters as soon as she mentioned that she was tired.

But his palms didn’t linger on the shape of her narrow waist – his lips barely grazed her knuckles, and Aemond turned with lest a word to add after their fake sympathies were exchanged.

Had he gotten bored of her? Realised what a terrible match they made, and begged his mother on his hands and knees to break off their ill engagement?

For the first time in a while, a new notion of fear engulfed her.

The Greens couldn’t kill her. Of that, she was almost certain. It wouldn't be a wise move, and it would anger the North beyond the power of salvation. The war had had its say on every army that fought into it, yet the Crownlands were especially weak.

But if Aemond were to sever their solidary alliance, then her future would be most uncertain.

Otto Hightower would make her join with an old and withered Lord, no doubt – one with more than enough sons to further on his pesky line. One who couldn’t even get it up to her, who’d never procreate and mend their blood, who’d make sure Rhaenyra’s line would end with her.

Or perhaps she’d be sent to join the Faith – become a Septa or a Silent Sister, among the infamous Maris Baratheons of the Realm. Yet another girl who wouldn’t keep her tongue when asked.

And history might remember them as ‘the women who couldn’t be tamed’, but their lives would be thrown to ruin. Their existence would remain a sham.

… And if she had to whore herself to him to do it, she would obediently assume her role.

“I beg your pardon?” Aegon asked through another gulp of bitter wine, “Gods be good – I believe that now I’ve heard it all.”

Aemond paced about his brother’s room, with his hands clasped behind his back, and his face set into a deep grimace. He hummed in admission to his brother’s words, and glanced his way with the instance of a hooded eye.

“There is to be no bedding ceremony.” He repeated himself with ease, “I frightened her enough already. The girl will be plenty uncomfortable without the aid of chafing eyes.”

His brother smiled and raised his brows in nothing else but blinding wonder. A small shake of his head indicated his perplexion, and a sharp inhale his drawn decision.

“Mother insisted upon it. You know that well.” The man steadied himself in his chair as he spoke, whilst letting out a small grunt at the contact that the wood made upon his burnt remnants of skin. “I don’t see any reason to annul it. Especially now, an eve before.”

Another sip of the stinging liquor interrupted his smooth and ready trail of thought. The Targaryen brushed off Aemond’s concerns, and gleefully bided his teasing.

“It’ll do the two of you good – you’ll get to see she’s as pure as a bastard girl can be; and she’ll have no deniability that any of her future heirs are yours.” He pointed his weary digit in the direction of his stiffened form and swallowed down a hefty laugh. “Not to mention that Lord Redwyne and Tarly already placed bets on the state of her maidenhead. Would be a shame to disappoint them both, don't you think?"

“What mother thinks is of no consequence. And the amusement of the Realm matters not to me. There will be no bedding ceremony.”

“Nonsense, Aemond. It is our duty to upkeep the Realm – and to entertain its inhabitants if need be.”

When his reckless teasing was met with glacial silence, Aegon sighed as he briskly leaned forward. He watched his sibling with an indiscernible expression across his scorched veneer, and yawned greatly at his indisposed behaviour.

“Of course, we’re here to talk it out. But after so much time spent in your company, I fail to see the necessity for such a thing.” A sly smirk danced across his puffy lips, “Are you concerned that she won’t bleed? Or that you’ll be too cunt-struck by her to last enough to make a statement?”

Aemond’s fists descended upon the polished wood of Aegon’d desk. He thrashed his brother with a defiant glare, and hissed through his gritted teeth, and tight-set jaw.

“There will be no bedding ceremony for my niece and I. Tell that to every Lord that wishes to glance upon my wife – if they do so much as to cast their hands on her, they’ll be fucking their own wives with a wooden cock.”

Amusement laced with grave concern – the finality of Aemond's words ought to have vexed him, irk the King in his sibling's weighty insolence. Instead Aegon nodded, pushing back the feeling of dread that settled deep within his bones. His head jerked towards his closed oak door, signalling to his brother that his visit had been overstated. “What sort of brother would I be, to not grant you with this simple whim?”

The younger Targaryen mirrored his stance, and turned abruptly on his heel after a low grunt of gratitude.

His hand reached for the golden handle, but Aegon's words deterred him to a halt.

“But be careful with that one, Aemond. She’s brash and wholly unpredictable. Make sure the blood that stains your sheets come morning isn’t somehow your very own.”

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