#already got like the main three from the anime and Dracula

[thisteaistoosweet]

Wip keychain time

(If you got any suggestions for anybody let me know. Game and anime suggestions are okay)

[emily-the-fae]

Sound of a Heartbeat

Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Here we go. This thing started out as a one-shot and grew into something bigger; here goes the one-shot/prologue that came to me a month or two ago.

Inspired by watching ONLY the first four episodes of Castlevania, when I had no idea about the whole vampire community and there were only Dracula and his hellish demons.

!!!I have no beta!!!

Pairing: Dracula x OC

Warnings: umm none? angst, suicidal mood, a bit of tuberculosis, blood

a lonely cold night, a campfire and a shivering human next to it, with a dark shadow watching from behind the trees

***

The night had already creeped over the woods, and the fire was now standing out against the dark tree trunks. Shari sat by the bonfire, a long stick in her hand, lazily picking at blackened logs that were soon to fall apart. She briefly wondered, how it was always her in the end, who was left alone, the odd one out of the four - Adrian, Sypha and Trevor seemed to be the main trio - with her following behind to support. Though in the end it was quite obvious this was the right way - the three started off together, she only joined them when Adrian called - wouldn't have done that probably, but with the demons nearing she could never be sure how safe it was to be alone and how far she could go before being devoured.

Not to say she was scared, though. Some months ago, when the plague only started, a wounded winged demon rushed at her temporary hiding spot. The beast roared in rage and threw itself at everything it saw, slowly weakening at then pain, apparently originating from the long gash across the creature's ribs. Shari, of course, being the healer she was, and already cursing her complete lack of self-preservation, tried to stop and calm it - which turned out easier than it seemed when the dusk neared. When she finally got to stop the creature from running around and get closer to the source of its torture, Shari suddenly found that the animalistic demon was much more animal and far less hellish beast than she initially thought.

The wound was long, but nothing too deep - nothing terminal if tended to with proper care. Surprisingly, lavander oils worked even on hell's children, the demon fell completely still and silent in a few minutes, after she tossed an oiled tissue under its muzzle. Shari then carefully cleaned the gash and wrapped it - as good as she could - the cloth would fall off in a couple of days, if all went well. The monster slept soundly as she worked, and she couldn't help but notice, that the creature was somewhat a mix between a bat and a wolf, which amused her greatly for some reason.

Before the night fell, Shari took off from the spot, hoping for the monster's sake, that her operation went well, and, for her sake, that she would never see it again. Unfortunately or not - she was wrong. At the next dusk the beast found her new hiding spot, landed itself on all fours and crawled closer - completely wolvish, like a wild dog interested in a humans life, it's ears standing sharply, signing interest and alert.

Ever since it followed her around - more of a domesticated wolf day by day, Shari almost got used to him. Through him she found out that the winged beasts were not to be feared - one flap of his wings and a loud screech told the other animals that she was a friend (she doubted that her normal spiritual connection to animals existed for those, but somehow it did work) - they would not have attacked her even if she walked among them. It was the wingless beasts that were to be kept away from - these were smarter, more demonic, less animal - Shari only twice saw these from distance and decided that she most definitely did not want to get to know them closer - they would devour her in one gulp, no mercy and no wolvish interest. Though, it was not like they would be the only things eating her alive.

Shari was well aware of what set the plague on the lands of Wallachia. The first time she met Adrian was a little more than a year and a half ago when he stumbled into her small house at the edge of a village. The man was bleeding and in need of help, so she did the best she could. It was only later that she found out he was no man and her help was appreciated rather than useful. And it was him who told her to run away from the lands or go in hiding, told her of the threat; that in a year Wallachia would be set on fire. She had already heard the rumours of the witch and Satan in Tragoviste - these worried her grately, for the fear of the so-called witch hunters made her change her living spots quite often - but after Adrian's story it all started to make sense: Dracula the great vampire and his lost love. Raging out on humankind. So much of the centuries-old wisdom and learning of self control. But she knew it already then that no witty remarks would help her escape.

Adrian found her in a little more than a year of their first meeting. She was running, never stoping in big towns, never staying for longer than two nights. Sometimes sleeping on treetops - she knew she was fleeing from the inescapable, but by then it was the only way of survival. Shari agreed when he asked her to join them - not that she had much choice - but it was nice to be appreciated. She was far more limited in her witchcraft skills than Sypha, but was a much better healer, plus her immunity to the winged beasts turned out to be a very nice perk. Trevor growled, but tolerated her and hellish pet unwillingly at first - but then the demon stood up for the hunter during a particularly unpleasant encounter and afterwards Shari had spent a considerable amount of time healing up and easening the pain from his wound - and as a result even the hunter eventually grew more kind to the healer and her furry partner, who by then acquired the name of Rodo and somehow learned to waggle it's tale - weakly, but still a move.

And that was how she got in her current position: alone in the middle of nowhere by a campfire, Rodo snoring next to her and not a soul around - Adrian, Sypha and Trevor disappeared about an hour ago now, leaving her to protect their camp, and Shari had no idea when they were intending to return. The night was cold, and she half-consciously moved closer to the source of light and warmth. The dark trees around her formed a dreadful wall, only the flapping of wings far above her head and the occasional howl of some nocturnal animal would announce that she was not completely lost in time.

It had already started to snow a few days ago and the ground around her was covered in a thin white blanket. The cold air bit at her throat and lungs, causing Shari to cough up small pools of blood now and then. The irony. Just like all her life. Her name - Shari - meant Princess - but her life of surviving and sneaking had proved to be the complete opposite of the word. No, never a princess, not even once.Born into witchcraft, but never getting to truly learn sorcery. Accused of witchcraft - but for the healing and not the real magic itself. A healer, but sick with a disease she knew she would not heal. The second monster that would devour her, the one she feared more than the blue-eyed hellish creature.

Only two years before did Shari first feel that she was sick. It didn't seem serious back then, more like a series of colds, not a real threat. Now she knew better, she recognized the symptoms from many people that she had seen before, dying, weakening people whom nobody could help. And she was well-aware she stood no chance against that one beast in her lungs that burned her from the inside. She did not know how it started, but she well knew how it would end, and - to be fair - it scared her. In fact Shari was terrified of the way she could go - she could never tell how much she really had left: sometimes it seemed like a decade before her, but nights like this one, she could believe it was only a few months. Shari rather feared the weakness than the death itself - afraid to wake up one morning and understand that she was finally growing weak, that the logical ending of this sickness was coming and then the impending darkness would be far closer than ever before.

She brought a cloth to her mouth, whiping the droplets of blood away and suddenly, following some vague feeling, Shari turned her head upwards, staring at the opening between the treetops: the sky was clear tonight, endless dark sky filled with thousands of stars. Dark, cold, peaceful and lonely. The woman felt liquid going down the back of her throat - familiar unpleasant shiver ran over her, and she turned back to the fire, moving closer to it once more.

She was already willing to rest her head for a while, when she became aware of the eerie silence settled around her: the sound of flapping and the noise of nocturnal fauna disappeared completely, leaving the cracking of the fire and Rodo's snores the only to break the complete stillness. Something was not right.

Shari stood up carefully, looking around for any intruder, seeing nothing but the dark tree trunks and the white untouched snow. Rodo grunted and woke up next to her, his ears up in the air, muzzle sniffing - she knew that expression all too well - her furry friend was just as concerned as she was. Suddenly he jumped up, spreading his wings, and looking up at something behind her back. Shari turned on the spot and froze in a mix of fear and surprise.

There was a man in front of her now. Tall, almost unnaturally so, dark and sharp, his long black hair laying on his shoulders, ears somewhat pointy and eyes - she felt her heart jump to her throat - the red eyes stared right into her soul and Shari knew right away who was her visitor.

- What is it that you want, Count Dracula? - she hoped the vampire would not hear the tremble in her voice, silently cursing Adrian for disappearing when he was so needed.

- A glimpse of who my son is dealing with, to begin with, - the voice was low, but somehow pleasant to the ear.

- And you had no better way than to watch from the shadows? How classy. What are your observations then, Count? - hand on her small blade, she knew it would do nothing against him, but she had to at least try to defend herself.

- You are a good healer, - she coughed at his remark, feeling the blood rise to her throat once again and laughed bitterly:

- Well, not as good as your late wife. My condolences, by the way, - she bowed slightly. At least here she could be sincere.

- Unfortunately for all of us, no words can change anything that was done, healer.

- Oh no, no, no, Dracula, - with the way she was behaving, Shari was surprised that he still hadn't ripped out her throat. - I'm not playing that game of being good remorseful human. I am sure Lisa Tepes was a saint in her way - or so Adrian says...

- Does he now? - she noticed he got closer to her and she had no idea when he managed to do that. - But you aren't one? Is that what you were going to say?

- At least I'm actually a witch - not a turned, but a born one of course - though I do know a demon or two. And to add to the picture, I am also a thief, so yes, Count, I am definitely nowhere near as good as your late wife. And I am just as sure going to poke a hole in your chest if you make one step closer.

Shari took out her silver knife, staring up at the vampire in front of her. Somehow she knew from the look in his eyes, that her false bravado had no effect whatsoever. Maybe it was the slight amusement, or maybe the pity in his eyes, but she knew that he saw right through her and took her for what she was - a scared girl burning up from inside. Shari sincerely hated the vampire at that moment, hated for witnessing her involuntary weakness. She straightened her back, staring up at him with unreserved anger.

- You are not welcome here, Dracula.

- I am aware of that, - she knew that one step closer and she would have to either make a blow at him or step back.

- Then walk away.

- I am afraid that does not correspond with the initial purpose of my visit, - his response was calm, but the glint in his eyes made her insides turn cold.

- The purpose of watching us? - this time the tremble in her voice was audible.

- Oh no, I wouldn't have revealed myself for that, - his fangs seemed suddenly longer than before.

Shari bolted at him right then, blade in her hand, knowing well she stood no chance. If he was going to kill her anyway she might as well die with some dignity. Dracula caught her swift movement all too quick, twisting her arm and ripping her only weapon away from her. Shari screamed in pain and Rodo howled in response, wishing to help, but too terrified of his master to step in, tail between his hind legs and ears pressed to his head, he walked around the two, never daring to come near.

She tore herself from the vampire in a vain attempt to claim back her knife, droplets of blood from her damaged wrist coloring the snow beneath her feet. Dracula caught her swiftly, and she thrusted against him, fighting back with all the might she had left, helpless against his stone hard grasp.

His hand wrapped around her back, pressing her closer to him, her hands beating against his broad chest. Shari growled in her struggle, but couldn't do much. His other hand moved behind her head, almost gently removing the hair from the left side of her neck. As Dracula leaned his head closer to her, Shari finally froze, engulfed by the feeling of pure terror and helplessness. She pressed her eyes shut, stiffening on the vampire's grasp and feeling her whole body tremble, as he sniffed her.

When Dracula bit down, his nails scratching the back of her head, she shrieked, biting her lips, feeling him press her petite body closer to his, like a puppet, his fangs deep in her neck. She panted, clawing at his chest. An unwanted tear ran down the side of her face. Not like this.

- Shush, - her eyes were still shut, but his fangs removed for a moment and his grasp was no longer bruising, almost gentle. His voice seemed calming now, soothing. -Shush, my dear, no need to cry, - he whispered in her ear, his clawed hand slowly coming to caress the side of her face gently, almost lovingly, wiping away her tears. - My poor little girl. You don't have to fight. There is no one to pretend to here, - she felt a deep growl coming from his chest. - You know, you taste like sweetest wine, - she wailed quietly; his lips touched her earlobe and descended to caress the crook of her neck. - It will not hurt. I promise now. Just a kiss and a bright peaceful dream. Just like falling asleep, wouldn't that be nice, my sweet?

She felt a light touch to her neck, only a kiss, his lips touching her, hiding the fangs. The next moment the pain was gone; she opened her eyes and at once it was only her, Dracula and the endless starry sky above them. She held onto his shoulders, feeling his head pressed against her neck, her eyelids growing heavier with each moment as she surrendered to the long awaited sleep, now almost grateful to the vampire for the painless freedom he was giving. Maybe it was for the best after all.

- Let her go! - Trevor whipped at Dracula with no restraint. Him, Adrain and Sypha had been frozen in surprise at the scene they encountered, and the vampire-hunter was the first one of the three to return from the stupefied state.

Dracula hissed, but having to turn away from both the whip and Sypha's ice curses, knew he had better to disappear, leaving the small forest camp the same way he came. He intended no fighting with them that night.

Shari lay on the ground motionless and finally peaceful. Sypha was the first to rush to her, but unsuccessful in any attempts to awake her. Trevor and Adrian rushing about, trying to help move their defeated friend, and Rodo wailed quietly, crawling closer to the light of the fire and to the motionless body on the ground.

Dracula observed from behind the trees. He could barely see the motion of the three as his eyes were focused on one and only figure, still and peaceful, her face white and a small pool of blood on the snow next to her, the last lights of life were holding onto the weakened body.

- Sleep well, poor child.

***********

Here's what my mind came up with. There may be more chapters if I'm bold enough (they may or may not be written out and in the process of being edited in notes). But this one could also go as a separate piece.

Can't believe this is the first big piece I wrote in English AND actually posted.

[popculturebuffet]

Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “ 

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III.                                                        Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe. 

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big  companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers. 

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point. 

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while  in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing.  This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome. 

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast. 

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list. 

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend. 

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome. 

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows. 

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again. 

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up. 

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4. 

So with our major players out of the way,  let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming  story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands.  Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off.  Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain. 

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a  kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more.  The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself  this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have.  This show is just great  at costume design. 

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback. 

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious. 

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working.  Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant.  Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time. 

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up.  F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly. 

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly.  At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in. 

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do. 

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense. 

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room. 

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda. 

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian. 

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go. 

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it. 

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior. 

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances. 

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included. 

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her.  It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag. 

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you. 

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him.  Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t.  It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to.  So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight. 

However at home Virgil points out it was  Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow. 

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 2-3

Chapter 2 is a flashback to the origin of Sir Integra Hellsing.   As established in Chapter 1, the Hellsing Organization is a secret anti-Halloween-monster task force.   From what I’ve been able to tell, they have a small army of guys and they all live and train in a big mansion, and the Hellsing family runs the whole show.   It’s sort of like the X-Men except they actually do cool shit and you only have to keep track of four or five characters.   

It’s implied throughout this manga that the Hellsing Family is descended from Abraham Van Helsing, the vampire hunter seen in Bram Stoker’s novel, Dracula.    Shoot, I just remembered I wanted to read the novel so I’d know what this manga was referencing, but it’s too late, I’ll just have to do that later.   I’ve been meaning to read the Great Gatsby for several years, too, and I just never get around to it.   

On the other hand, Integra claimed that her family had been at this since “ancient times”, suggesting that they predate the events of the Dracula novel.  If Abraham Van Helsing was part of their line, then he may have only been carrying on a tradition instead of founding a new one.   I think the conceit of Hellsing is that it regards the Dracula novel as part of its canon.   That is, in this fictional world, the events in the novel really happened, more or less.    I don’t know if that means the novel exists in this world or not.

Whatever the case, it was Arthur Hellsing running the organization up until 1989, when he suddenly took ill.   On his deathbed, he named his daughter as his successor, and asked his brother Richard to help her run things, since Integra was like, twelve, at the time.

Instead, Richard waited three days and staged a coup, forcing Li’l Integra to hide in the ventilation ducts.   He has to act quickly, and kill her before the whole staff finds out what he’s up to, but if he can kill her, he’ll assume control and be set for life.    I’m not really sure what Richard wants out of this.    Maybe he just really wants to run the family business, or maybe he wants to shut the whole thing down and just be a wealthy nobleman without all the monsters.   Anyway, the search for Integra leads to the “underground sector”, which hasn’t been used in over twenty years, so I guess 1969 is about when it was shut down?    It houses a dark arts lab, a library, speciment room, torture chamber, dissecting room, and a dungeon.   That last one tips Richard off, because before he died, Arthur told her that she could find something that would protect her.  

But all she finds inside is a corpse, and then Richard and his goons show up shortly after.   He plans to kill her slowly to punish her for wasting his time, but when he shoots he in the arm, some of the blood splashes on the corpse, and then it comes to life.

Just like Frosty the Snowman, only horrifying.   Richard tries to kill it, which seems pretty stupid, considering how they thought it was dead a minute ago.   That goes about as well as you’d expect, and after slaughtering the goons and taking Richard’s arm, the corpse kneels before Integra and addresses her as “Master.”

Richard apparently knew nothing of this, but the corpse seems to recognize him, at least as far as a Hellsing who’s not fit to head the family.  As Integra shoots Richard dead, the corpse introduces himself as Alucard, the name her family has always called him.  

One thing I find interesting here is that I could have sworn the Hellsing Ultimate anime established that Richard had poisoned Arthur, presumably thinking he would have a clear shot at the inheritance.   But it’s never mentioned here.   Maybe this was something they added in, because honestly, it just makes too much sense.  The implication of this flashback is that there are certain secrets in the Hellsing Family that only got passed down from parent to child.    Arthur and Richard’s father must have known about Alucard, and Arthur was likely the one who sealed him up in the basement in the first place, but neither of them said a word about him to Richard.   Maybe if they had, Richard might have thought twice before trying to take over.   Like the Cheddar Priest, he thought he had it all figured out, but he didn’t know what he didn’t know.

Back in the present day, Alucard is on the shooting range with Seras, teaching her how to shoot.   Seras already knows how to fire a gun, but Al wants her to hit targets at greater distances, using The Force a vampiric “third eye.”   He demonstrates by shooting a target one kilometer away, and hitting it perfectly.   For some reason, Integra is reading the paper nearby, and reminiscing about the her first meeting with Alucard ten years ago.   For some reason, she takes umbrage with the idea that she’s not still a “little girl” like she was back then.   Seras even ribs her a bit, which ticks Integra off.   Of course, Seras wouldn’t think Integra’s a “little girl”.   Integra’s a few years older than she is.  

The main point of all of this is that it establishes why Alucard works for Integra, and what they did with Seras after Alucard turned her into a vampire.   One way or another, Seras is just drafted to fight the Vampire Wars, or whatever they call it.   I find this kind of unsatisfying, because the anime didn’t expand on it either.   Seras just wakes up in the mansion, and Integra tosses her a uniform and says “Get dressed, kid, your shift starts in twenty minutes.”

I think Seras wants to work for the Hellsing Organization, partly because she has nowhere else to go, and partly because she admires Alucard and wants to join his cause.    But it’s never established that Seras has a choice in the matter.  It’s implied that Alucard is magically bound to the Hellsing family.    Integra called him “the research” that her “father and the others were doing.”  Like, you can’t just have a vampire work for you, you have to do stuff to him to make him obey.   I don’t think they’re mind-controlling Al per se.  He seems fully aware of what his role is, and he’s totally comfortable in it.   But he’s not just doing this voluntarily, either.    Integra has some sort of power over him, and my assumption is that Seras inherited that same quality when Alucard turned her.   So now she’s bound to Integra’s orders in the same way.  

But there’s a lot of unanswered questions in this.    I would think Alucard would be expressly forbidden from making his own ghouls or vampire broods.   Yet he drank Seras’ blood without any problems.  Maybe he’s allowed to do it if he has permission?    That might be it.    But then he brings her back to Integra, and I assume she has to make the decision to either keep Seras or destroy her.   I mean, Seras is handy to have on the team, sure, but if this was a good idea, why didn’t they have Alucard do this before?   I guess the situation just never came up.  

I think a lot about what might have happened if the Cheddar Priest had turned her into a vampire.    Would she have become loyal to him?  He said she would have free will, but she’s pretty deferential to Alucard, so what’s that about?   And if she had become a vampire and turned against the Priest, would Al have allowed her to live?   He was on a mission to destroy vampires, so I would think he would have shot first and asked questions later.    Well, let’s move on.

Chapter 3 jumps ahead to August 12, so Seras has been with the team for a little over a month now.   A bunch of murders have taken place in Birmingham (England, not Alabama), and this time no one waits around to call in Hellsing, though they are still surprised to find out she’s a woman.     

This time, the culprit is on the move, and Integra deduces that they’re choosing specific households full of “devout Christians” and spacious walls to write “blasphemous anti-Christian messages.”   Since they’re moving along Route 17, Integra has a rough idea of where they’ll strike next.  

I don’t know what the point of the “blasphemous messages” or seemingly ritual killings is supposed to be, since the killers are just this young vampire couple who only seem to be interested in this for immortality and power.   Their goal seems to be to kill thirteen families, and “they’ll” see to it that they get stronger.   I don’t know if this means some other party has put them up to this, or maybe they mean “they” as in all the families they’re killing.   It’s like this is an initiation ritual or something, except we’ve already seen Seras become a vampire, and she didn’t have to do anything like this to seal the deal. 

Then again, maybe the point of this chapter is to demonstrate that vampires take a while to get all their powers.  When Alucard confronts them, he scolds them, not for their string of murders, but for their lack of conviction, and their inability to transform or fight without guns.     So maybe this couple was trying to jumpstart the process by feeding on several dozen people in a short span of time.    But Al seems to think that isn’t how it works.    I don’t fully understand his moral code, but he doesn’t seem to object to vampires on principle.   Being a vampire is fine with him, so long as you have a purpose to it.   If you’re only in it for immortality and power, with no other reason, then he doesn’t respect you.   Seras wanted to live, but not necessarily forever, and I think she wanted power, but only enough to fight against evil.   That’s what sets her apart in Alucard’s eyes. 

So he kills the boy, but the girl escapes out the window, but Alucard already had that move scouted.

I’m not sure who’s saying “No!” here.   Maybe the girl vampire running down the road.   Anyway, Alucard put Seras on the roof of the house before he went inside, just in case anyone tried to make a break for it.   So all she has to do is shoot down the runner before she’s out of range.  Except she’s 600 meters away, it’s night time, and Seras doesn’t have a scope for her gun.   But Al reminds her to use her “third eye” and it works.  

After it’s over, Seras realizes that she didn’t even feel the recoil of the gun, and she can see in the dark with no trouble at all.   She wonders what’s happening to her, but that seems like a dumb question to ask one month after turning into a vampire.    I’m guessing the first few weeks of it didn’t feel all that different to her, and she probably knew she’d get stronger and better at shooting guns, but now that it’s actually happening it feels a lot stranger than she expected it to be.   In the anime, Seras also points out that she can hear Alucard talking to her in her mind, which is also weird, but I guess she’s got plenty of other weird stuff to process now.

Back at the base, Integra considers the recent increase in vampire attacks.   They’re all jobbers, like this couple Al and Seras killed, and none of them have any particular agenda, except to kill people.    She begins to wonder if someone’s making all these vampires just to cause trouble.  Hmmm...

So, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself here, but this foreshadows Milennium quite nicely, but are we saying Milennium made vampires out of that boy and girl?   Were they behind the Cheddar Priest as well?  Also, “two” doesn’t seem like a huge increase in vampire incidents, so I guess there have been some other vampires running around between Chapters 1 and 3.   Oh well. 

[loreweaver-universe]

And that’s...the show.

What a clever way to get Lake off the train.  On multiple levels!  Not only was it clever in-character, but her escape came from her accepting her nature at long last--which was what would have brought her own number down to zero.  That’s such an excellent way to end her journey--truly, she was the same as a passenger the whole time.

That was a good finale.  Not the action-packed ending that season 1 got, but it didn’t need to be, really.  It was different from Tulip’s journey in ways where a bigger action sequence than what we got wouldn’t have been appropriate.  In fact, the fight with Sieve feels kind of like an afterthought--it wasn’t obviously, it tied off an important loose end and gave Alan Dracula something to do in the final two episodes, but it didn’t really feel like a proper focus of the episode.

Showing off One-One’s weird blue-and-orange morality system was really cool.  Watching him actually get trapped in logic loops was fascinating, and I think he was used VERY well here.

Alan Dracula was a fun sideshow character, but often felt like he was just there for the animators and writers to play around with, rather than an essential part of the team like Atticus and One-One were in season 1.

Jesse was a good deuteragonist!  Shut up, Tumblr spellcheck, that’s a word.  Jesse’s journey was simple--come to terms with the fact that he and his friends were bullies, and it was very deftly done.  The fact that the train reorders its cars and constructs them for individual passengers’ journeys makes it interesting that his final obstacle was confronting the Apex--the train even works other passengers into its plans.  Which, ironically, makes the Apex more denizen than passenger.  Anyways, Jesse’s journey was simple and well-handled, which is good because he wasn’t actually who the story was about.

That would be Lake.  Mirror Tulip.  Horseradish, as I’ve been tagging her since season 1.  The Chrome Car was my second-favorite episode of season 1, due to excellent character drama, excellent horror, and excellent writing all around.  I remember wishing very much that Lake had joined Tulip on her journey--clearly, the people writing the show wanted to keep telling her story, too, because we got a whole season of it.  Lake’s journey of self-discovery and self-actualization was a really fascinating one.  Watching her slowly come out of her prickly shell until she was finally ready to accept herself for who she was was an excellent journey.  I really do think it’s SUCH good writing that she basically got her own number down to zero right when she got One-One to let her off the train.

Mace and Sieve turned out to be excellent villains, as well--Mace more than Sieve, really, but Mace got more focus and had more presence, and rightfully so.  My favorite episode of the season focuses on him and Tulip, after all.  What an excellent bastard.

All in all, a good season, but not quite as strong as the first one.  That’s not a low bar to fail, though.  Excellent work all around, and I’m delighted with the ending.

The final episode just wasn’t as strong an ending as season one’s though, and wasn’t the best episode in season 2 by a couple places.  The Tape Car was creepier and focused on horror, which I liked a lot, and The Wasteland was just fantastic.  It also has to compete with some VERY strong episodes in season 1--which, again, is not a low bar to fail.  All in all, I’d place The Number Car at my new #3 for season 2, between The Lucky Cat Car (which was very funny, but didn’t have the emotional or dramatic stuff The Number Car did) and The Tape Car (which I’ve already covered), as well as my new #7 overall, between The Lucky Cat Car and The Cat’s Car, which did drama and horror VERY well.

That’s it for Infinity Train, at least until we maybe get a third season!  In a couple days, I’m going to make a post on my Patreon asking for show suggestions for what to replace Infinity Train with in the main slots, and then we’ll have the poll to replace it a few days after that.  I’ll keep you posted as to what the results of that are!  In the meantime, up next is going to be this month’s Patron Picks--as usual, I’ll be doing Paranoia Agent, Baccano, and then A Place Further Than the Universe.  After that, we’ll be getting back to She-Ra for a solid while--I’ll be starting Season 2, so stay tuned for that!

Streamwise, I streamed the first part of my blind playthrough of Transistor yesterday (which you can view here) and will be starting what I think will be the rest of the game shortly.  If you want to tune into that live, head on over to my Twitch channel and give me a follow!  That should be happening within the hour.

As always, thank you all for tuning in, and thank you very much to the 62 patrons who make it possible for me to do this for a living!  I’ll see you next time!

IN OTHER NEWS:

I recently completed my blind playthrough of Transistor!  You can see the full playlist of those streams by clicking here!

I recently completed my playthrough of Final Fantasy VII Remake!  You can see the full playlist of those streams by clicking here!

I recently completed my playthrough of the second story campaign in Fire Emblem: Three Houses!   You can view all the streams of the Golden Deer and Black Eagles routes I have done by clicking here!

If you’d like to help me pay my rent, buy me some food, or help with my bills and medicine, please use my direct donation link!  If you’d like to support me per liveblog completed every month, please pledge to my Patreon! Becoming a patron not only allows you to vote on what shows I do whenever I choose a new one, but also grants access to the community Minecraft server to $5 patrons or higher!

You should also go pledge to Gio’s Patreon–our Discord server maintenance tech, creator of Rubybot, and community Minecraft server overlord deserves far more than I can afford to pledge to him by myself.

If you’d like more of me and my content:

My Episode Lists master page, where you can find every show and liveblog I’ve done!

My Discord server, where you can come hang out with me and other fans, check out member liveblogs, and join community gaming guilds!

My Twitch channel, where I stream variety games every so often!

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My Twitter, where I make announcements about liveblogs and streams!

It’s your kindness and support that lets me do this stuff, and I wouldn’t be where I am without all of you to do it for.  Thank you all so much for your support, and for tuning in every episode!

OTHER PEOPLE YOU MAY ENJOY:

I may have been one of the earlier Steven Universe liveblogs, but a whole community of livebloggers has sprung up over the last five years!   I linked to a bunch individually for a few wrap-ups, but honestly, this end-slate is already eight billion miles long, so I’m just gonna link to my links page.  Click here if you want recommendations of other livebloggers, or other neat people, or webcomics and podcasts that I recommend.

[askroahmmythril]

Smash Universe Experience

So I’ve been in a bit of a bad mental state the last few days, lots of personal stress and such, the tropics won’t shut up, various current year events, etc.  So trying to distract self with various things, and figured I’d try figuring out what my personal history is with the various Smash Bros. franchises.  Note, we’re only counting actual fighters here, not Mii Costume inclusions.  Distraction tactics go! :

Super Mario : I’ve played a lot of Mario games definitely.  I think I missed some of the “New” SMB games, like I never played the one on DS where there were things like the Gold Flower and it was all about getting as many coins as possible.  Also some side games, like I... at least don’t THINK I’ve played any of the “sports” type games like the golf, tennis, baseball, or soccer ones.  Also never really got into the Paper Mario series, only played Super Paper Mario and never finished it.  Also Superstar Saga is the only one of the “Mario & Luigi” RPGs I ever played.  Want to say there are a few Party games I skipped as well.  If we count Luigi’s Mansion under the Mario blanket, I haven’t played 2 (but have a copy) or 3 (want to get a copy).  Still, fairly solid Mario experience under my belt.

Donkey Kong : There are a number of DK games I have played, but probably more that I missed.  I played the original, DK Jr., pretty sure I’ve at least played DK3 on things like Virtual Console or such?  As far as the Country games, I’ve... only really played the first two and part of the third.  I tried DKC3 while I was at Full Sail, but could just never really get into it.  I did play the GBC Donkey Kong game, that one’s good...  I want to try the DKCR games, I’ve heard good things.  Definitely would like to at least get the Switch port of Tropical Freeze and give that a go.

Legend of Zelda : As far as officially sanctioned and remembered Zelda games (we don’t talk about the CDi games, which I never had that system so never played them anyway), I want to say the only mainline Zelda game I never played was Skyward Sword.  I never had a Wii Motion Plus, so couldn’t play that one.  Keep hoping we get a port on Switch so I can try it.  There are some side games I never played though, like never played Crossbow Training, or the Tingle game.   Oh, actually I guess I never played Tri Force Heroes, admittedly not sure how well that one plays as a single-player experience.

Metroid : I’ve played most of the Metroid series I would say.  I think my main gaps are Metroid Prime Pinball, Hunters, haven’t gotten around to playing Prime 3 but I do have the Wii version of Trilogy.  Kinda hoping Trilogy gets a Switch port.  I haven’t played Other M or Federation Force either.  I’m also admittedly a weirdo what preferred the original Metroid to Zero Mission, and probably preferred the original Metroid II to Samus Returns.

Yoshi : I never did finish playing Yoshi’s Story, but I have played Yoshi’s Island to 100% completion, as well as Woolly World.  Also need to finish Crafted World sometime.  I want to say there’s some motion control Yoshi game I know of but never played, but I think I also might be mixing it up with a Kirby game...?

Kirby : I’ve played a lot of Kirby games, though I know I never played Mass Attack, Squeak Squad, Epic Yarn, Canvas Curse, or Rainbow Curse.  I want to say there might have been another one as well...?  Well I know I never played Super Star Deluxe, and there are some of those mini side games on 3DS I never played.  I think there was also one with a clay aesthetic I never played?  Unless that was already one of the ones I mentioned...

Star Fox : The only ones I’ve ever played are the original and 64.  I do have SNES Online, so I can give 2 a try sometime.  I’m... really bad at Star Fox games though, haha.

Pokémon : ......Considering I have an alternate blog for all my Pokémon nicknames, yeah, I think we’re covered here.  I’ve played all main series games and most side games by this point.  I did not play Dash, and there were those three Mystery Dungeon games on Wii eShop that never got released here.  I never played Masters, nor the new Cafe game, and only really played Go long enough to get Meltan and Melmetal.  But yes, pretty solid Pokémon experience.

Mother : Earthbound is the only one I played.  I tried on multiple occasions to really get into it, but just... couldn’t really.  It just never really reeled me in and kept my interest.  I think the furthest I ever made it before quitting was the desert area near Fourside, and I just ran out of steam.

F-Zero : I’ve only played the original and I think maybe the one on GBA a little?  I can’t say it’s a series I’m good at, haha.  And yet the crazy part of me would kinda like to get the infamously difficult Gamecube one.

Ice Climbers : Yep, I’ve played it....  That’s pretty much all we got for that one, just the one game, and yes I’ve played it.

Fire Emblem : The only FE game I’ve played is Fire Emblem Warriors, so... not exactly the real FE experience.  Granted I can’t say I really feel all that interested.  Turn based strategy games like FE, Advance Wars, Wargroove, they don’t tend to keep me interested all that long.  I also have a feeling the permadeath aspect would drive me batty.

Game & Watch : I don’t know if I ever had a legitimate Game & Watch, as in, the actual machines.  However I played the heck out of the Game & Watch Gallery games.  I loved those things.

Kid Icarus : I’ve played the original and Uprising all the way through.  The GB one, Of Myths & Monsters, I’ve only gotten to try that one via an emulation, and it glitched during a boss fight, so I was never able to finish it.

Wario : On the Wario Land side of things, I’ve played most of them I think.  I never played Master of Disguise, not sure if that counts as a “Land” game.  As for WarioWare, that too, I’ve played most of them, though I never played Smooth Moves I think, the Wii one?  I know I’ve played the original, Twisted, Touched, and Gold.

Metal Gear : I haven’t played much of this series.  I played a little of the original NES game, never beat it, and watched my uncle play the original Metal Gear Solid, and..... honestly I think that’s about it.  So not a lot of Metal Gear experience.

Sonic the Hedgehog : I’ve played a lot of Sonics.  I didn’t play 4 or either of the “Storybook” games, haven’t really had access to most of the side games though, like I never played Shuffle, the Game Gear ones, also never played things like the Sega All Stars Racing games, not sure if those count for Sonic or just Sega in general really though to be fair.  I do have a weird choice of favorite Sonic game though, I unironically really enjoyed the 360 version of Unleashed.

Pikmin : Unless you count things like the Gamecube and Wii versions of Pikmin as separate entities, I think I’ve played all Pikmin games : 1-3 and Hey Pikmin.  I have 3 Deluxe pre-ordered as I felt it would be an easier one to record for an eventual project.

ROB : Played one out of the two games he had.  I played Gyromite, never had Stack Up.  Sadly my ROB was stolen long ago from storage.

Animal Crossing : I want to say the only ones I never played were Wild World and Happy Home Designer.  Well, unless you count ones that weren’t released here.

Mega Man : Yeah, kinda think I got this one covered.  I never played the Game Gear one, which.... yeah, looks pretty bad, so I don’t feel I missed out there.  Played 1 - 11 of the Classic series, as well as Powered Up and MM & Bass.  Played X1 - X5, Zero 1 - 3, all the Battle Network games (aside from mobile ones that I don’t think were released here), Starforce 1 and 2 (got 3, just never got around to it, and never quite finished 2), and a small bit of Legends 1 (want to give that another try sometime).  Heck, even played the PC Mega Man 1 and 3.  Think I’m pretty set with this one, haha.

Wii Fit : I.... played Wii Sports, does that actually count?  Probably not.  I never played one of the proper Wii Fit games with the balance board and all that.

Punch-Out!! : I played the NES and Wii games.  I... honestly don’t remember if I ever played Super Punch-Out!! or not...  I know I never beat the Wii game, I stalled out at Soda Popinski.

Pac-Man : I’ve played a lot of Pac-Man games, as well as other retro Namco games.  I had all the Namco Museum games on PS1, loved those.  There were a ton of different Pac-Man games though, so there are likely some I missed along the way.  Probably mostly in the vein of Pac-Man World type games, I don’t think I got to play a lot of those.

Xenoblade : I never played any of the Xenoblade games.  I’m kind of intrigued by maybe wanting to get the Switch port of Xenoblade Chronicles, but RPGs tend to be intimidating for me to get into, the whole time commitment thing.  Still seems like something I might be interested in trying sometime.

Duck Hunt : Indeed, I played it.  I know well the trauma of dog ridicule.  As far as other light-gun games on NES, I did play Hogan’s Alley and Gumshoe.

Street Fighter : I think the only one I ever played was the SNES version of Street Fighter 2 that had the four extra characters, I want to say it added Cammy, Dee Jay, T. Hawk, and Fei Long I want to say?

Final Fantasy : The main ones I played a lot of were 7 and 9.  I did play a bit of the one with Kefka as a kid, but didn’t really get too into it.

Bayonetta : I’ve played both 1 and 2 all the way though, and am interested in hearing more about 3 when we get some new info there.  I can’t say I’m that GOOD at them, but I could at least beat them, haha.  Still find them fun.

Splatoon : I played the original, but can’t play online, so just the single player stuff.  Still need to do that on Splatoon 2, I do have a copy, just haven’t really gotten around to playing it.

Castlevania : I’ve played MOST of the series I want to say?  Mainly some of the 3D ones I missed on, never played the Lord of Shadows games, 64, also notably never had access to the actual Rondo of Blood, only Dracula X.

Persona : The only one I ever played is Persona 4.  I’d be tempted to give 5 a shot if it got a Switch port.  Admittedly I kinda shied away from this series for awhile due to Persona 3 being the main one I’d heard about, and mostly it was hearing about how they invoked their Personas, which was... not something I liked due to personal squick with that sort of thing.  I had the mistaken impression that was how it was in ALL the games as such.

Dragon Quest : I’ve played a bit of some of the NES ones as a kid, but never really could get too into them.  Always liked the monster designs though, so I did like the Dragon Quest Monsters games.  Only got to play the two on GBC though.  I tried the demo for DQ 11... just didn’t really pull me in.  Turn based RPGs are just hard for me to get into admittedly.

Banjo-Kazooie : I played and loved the original and Tooie, as well as the GBA game (don’t remember much about that one though).  I never played Nuts & Bolts.

Fatal Fury : I don’t THINK I’ve ever played a Fatal Fury game.  If so, I have no real memories of doing so.  Still familiar with Terry though, just never really had much SNK / Neo Geo access growing up.

ARMS : I only ever played the demo of the game, not the full one.

Minecraft : I’ve never played it.  From what I’ve seen, it doesn’t look like my kind of game.  Just total open world sandbox / survival type stuff, not usually something that pulls me in, and admittedly I don’t really like the Minecraft aesthetic too much.  Nothing against anyone that likes it, just not really my thing.

[lethal-liability]

Info Dump Time!

So it has come to my attention that the slasher fandom has recently been introduced to Ice Nine Kills, my favorite band (aside from Rammstein, of course). So if you are really wanting to get into them but have no clue where to start, look no further! As I am about to impart my knowledge onto all of you lovely people!

So Ice Nine Kills is an American Rock band from Boston, Massachusetts (but they like to say they’re from Salem). The band was formed in 2002 by high school friends Spencer Charnas and Jeremy Schwartz, though today the only surviving member of the original band is Spencer.

(more under the cut)

The current members are:

Spencer Charnas - lead vocals (main stage character: Freddy Kruger, Jason Vorhees)

Ricky Armellino - rhythm guitar, co-vocals (the extra screaming voice in most songs lol) (main stage character: Georgie)

Patrick Galante - drums (main stage character: Jigsaw)

Joe Occhiuti - bass, keyboard (Main stage character: Eric Draven)

Dan Sugarman - lead guitar, backing vocals (Main stage character: Leatherface)

Justin “JD” DeBlieck is also technically a current member but he's been on hiatus from the band since Warped Tour 2018. His role in the band has been filled in by Ricky since then.

Their original sound was more ska-punk but have, since their first official album, have changed their sound to metalcore, or as Spencer calls it, theatricore.

Their discography is as follows:

Last Chance To Make Amends - 2006 (not currently on spotify and the only one I haven’t heard)

The Burning - 2007

2 Song Acoustic - 2009

Safe Is Just A Shadow - 2010

The Predator - 2013

The Predator Becomes The Prey - 2014

Every Trick In The Book - 2015

The Silver Scream - 2018

Other notable releases:

They’ve been featured on Punk Goes Pop three times and Punk Goes 90s once. They covered Adele’s Someone Like You on Vol. 5, Maroon 5’s Animals on Vol. 6, Taylor Swift’s I Don’t Want To Live Forever on Vol. 7, and Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) on Punk Goes 90’s Vol. 2 (also, side note, Motionless In White covered Rammstein’s Du Hast on that record and it is *chef kiss* horrible. Awful. Listen to it if you wanna ruin your ears. Chris Motionless does not know a lick of German and it shows)

In 2017 they released a re-recorded version of Safe Is Just A Shadow which I personally prefer over the original because it is a much cleaner record. I also like that it only features Spencer’s vocals which I find sounds much better than the mix of his and former bassist Shane Bisnett’s vocals.

Last year, they released a deluxe version of The Silver Scream which includes the new track Your Number’s Up, a cover of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, and acoustic versions of A Grave Mistake, Stabbing In The Dark, SAVAGES, and Thank God It’s Friday (personally I only really like the acoustic of A Grave Mistake)

Their two most recent albums, Every Trick In The Book and The Silver Scream follow a similar format where every song on them follows a similar theme, ETITB being all based on classic novels and TSS being all based on slasher movies (with the exception of Thriller).

The songs and what they’re based on are as follows:

The Nature Of The Beast - Animal Farm by George Orwell

Communion Of The Cursed - The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

Bloodbath & Beyond - Dracula by Bram Stoker

The Plot Sickens - Alive: The Story of The Andes Survivors by Piers Paul Read

Star-Crossed Enemies - Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare (the analyst in me really loves this song because it implies that Romeo and Juliet knew that they were only characters in a play but died together anyway because they knew they couldn’t escape their fate)

Me, Myself, & Hyde - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Alice - Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks

The People In The Attic - The Diary Of A Young Girl by Anne Frank (this song features Spencer doing a very unconvincing German accent which, outside of the context of the song, is very funny)

Tess-Timony - Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

Hell In The Hallways - Carrie by Stephen King

The American Nightmare - A Nightmare On Elm Street

Thank God It’s Friday - Friday The 13th

Stabbing In The Dark - Halloween

SAVAGES - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Jig Is Up - Saw

A Grave Mistake - The Crow

Rocking The Boat - Jaws (fun fact! This song features Jeremy Schwartz, the other founding member of the band and the lyrics contain the names of 5 of their 6 albums, excluding The Silver Scream)

Enjoy Your Slay - The Shining (another fun fact! In 2016 they put a vote to their fans to pick what piece of media the song they were working on would be based on, either The Shining or Psycho, I voted for Psycho because they already had a song based on a Stephen King story)

Freak Flag - The Devil’s Rejects

The World In My Hands - Edward Scissor-Hands

Merry Axe-Mas - Silent Night, Deadly Night

Love Bites - An American Werewolf In London

IT Is The End - It (including this one they have 3 songs based on Stephen King stories! His influence, ugh)

Your Number’s Up - Scream

More fun facts!

Aside from INK, Spencer also has a clothing company, Kleaver Klothing, which if they haven’t moved sites again, is at salem666.com

Last Year on their Summer tour they were supposed to play a show at a venue in Orlando, Florida that is on the grounds of Disney World. At the last minute Disney canceled their show because they’re performance was deemed “too violent” for a family park, despite the show already being 18+. In retaliation, the band released a series of limited edition merchandise featuring classic Disney characters as slasher villains, most notably Mickey Mouse as Freddy Kruger. They literally all sold out. I really should have got one when I had the chance

I own more pieces of Ice Nine Kills merch than literally any other piece of media I have ever consumed, including:

3 t shirts

2 tank tops

1 Letterman jacket

1 CD

2 vinyls

1 Kleaver t shirt (that I’m wearing right now)

1 poster

And a red balloon and paper boat from the IT Is The End music video promotion, (the boat is currently serving as a jewelry dish on my vanity)

I’ve seen them twice, Warped Tour 2016 and Warped Tour 2018, both times I met Spencer after the set and despite the whole scary act the band puts on during the shows, he’s very genuine and always really sweet to his fans. Enjoy these fetus pictures of me meeting him at 14 and 16 y/o

The lyric sheet for The Silver Scream is formatted like a spec script with action lines, scene headings, and inter-scene cuts, which screenwriting student me really, really enjoys

I got distracted while writing this because Patrick went live on Instagram, oops. He was setting up his new kit for the show tonight, it looks really cool, they’re painted to look like popcorn buckets

So that’s about it! Thank you for reading and enjoy the music!

[darksunrising]

Sola Gratia (4/?)

Masterlist

Rating / Warnings : Graphic depiction of violence. No real horse was harmed in the making of this fic.

Fandom : Bram Stoker’s Dracula, BBC’s Dracula, various Dracula and vampire lore.

Part 4/? (2216 words)

Author’s notes : I’m gonna take my horse to the- Oh god. Oh god no.

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The following morning, I found myself numb and sore, as I apparently had slept on a sofa, near the fireplace of the library. The Odyssey had slipped from my hand, and lay on the floor beside me. I stretched my limbs out, and took a look at my finger. Surprisingly enough, it was clean, and the cut was already closed by a fine dark line. The handkerchief was gone. My mind still fuzzy with sleep, I thought nothing of it. And yet...

I figured, decidedly so, that it might be time for me to take my leave.

The room was filled with light, and I thought for a second that the weather might have improved. Through the thick glass diamonds that made up the windows, even though deformed, I could see the soft fluttering of snowflakes falling from grey skies. That was my luck, I frowned. If it kept on going like that, I would never leave this place.

With a scoff of annoyment, I made my way out of the library, and to the main entrance. The door was unlocked, and, using all my weight to push on the heavy wooden panel, I slipped outside. The whole yard was already covered in a thick sheet of snow, crunching under my boots. I couldn’t help but smile, even considering the disturbing strangeness of my whole situation. Everything was silent, the snow absorbing all noise, except for the muffled sounds of my steps.

Outside the gates, the village seemed, strangely enough, more alive than it did before. With a bit of imagination, you could just believe it was a normal winter day, too cold for people to get out. Every breath I drew let a thick cloud of steam past my lips. On the ground, when I thought I would only find undisturbed snow, I noticed steps, rather fresh, but very unlike those of a human. Curious, I followed, turned at a street corner, and couldn’t contain a gasp as I almost ran headfirst into a horse. The momentary fright passing, I still stepped back, hoping not to be considered a threat. The animal followed, ears pointed at me, nostrils flaring as if he tried to find some treat on me.

As I took one final step, my back hit something. Or rather, someone. A gloved hand appeared near me, holding an apple, which the horse helped himself to. I turned my head to see the pleased expression of the Count, apparently very content with the look of surprise I must have had.

“I feed them, when they pass through the village”, he told me, pretending to feel guilty as if it were a great crime. “They used to be completely feral, and now not much more threat than puppies.”

“I’m not very fond of horses”, I told him with a nervous laughter.

“How can that be ? They are magnificent beasts. Man’s best friend, if you ask me.”

He seemed almost offended, scratching the animal’s head, who seemed to trust him completely, indeed like a dog to his master.

“I have my reasons”, I replied, not wanting to go into details.

“Have you never learned how to ride ? It may rid you of irrational fears…”

“If you must know”, I started after an exasperated sigh, “I do know how to ride. I have also been sent to a hospital for three months because of horses, which is probably why I haven’t been friendly with them since then.”

The Count didn’t reply, and dug into his coat’s pocket. He handed me another apple, eagerly followed by the horse. I protested, but he left it in my hand, telling me to keep it straight open. Knowing there was no way I could escape that, I obeyed, feeling more tense than I had been in a long time. It’s just a horse. Not even that big. All fluffy with his winter coat.

“Count Balaur, I’m- I don’t-”, I started, starting to feel more and more anxious as the animal stepped towards me.

“Do not be afraid. You are perfectly safe”, he whispered into my ear.

Somehow, I doubted that. I remained still, holding out my hand awkwardly, trying to have it as flat as I could. The animal sniffed around the apple, and finished it in two bites, munching through it in a matter of seconds. The coarse beard hairs tickled my palm as he seemed to check if anything was left. Satisfied with his offering, he turned back to his horse business. I let out a sigh of relief.

“That wasn’t so terrible, now, was it ?”

I sighed and turned to face him.

“It was.”

I tried to sound harsh, but it only seemed to make him laugh.

“Well then, I promise not to do it again”, he told me, a hand over his chest. “Also, please, call me Vlad. You have already made me feel old enough.”

“Very well, Vlad”, I replied. “Do not make me fraternise with these spawns of the Devil again, if you will.”

He swore, again, and I turned back towards the main street, leaving the horses to their business, which was now the few more apples Vlad left for them. He caught back with me, offering his arm for me to hold. I decided to play along. We slowly walked into the snowed in streets, in silence. The ambiance felt almost surreal. Trying not to focus on his hand, his thumb occasionnally brushing on mine, I kept studying every detail that hadn’t been smoothed over by the heavy blanket of snow.

I started to genuinely enjoy it, yet had to stop dead in my tracks. On the corner of a house, a few feet over, blood had been splattered along the wall, dragged out on the stone. It was dark, almost black, but there was no mistaking it. I let go of Vlad’s arm, and hastily made my way up there. The path was narrow, stuck between two houses. Obviously, large enough to let a horse pass through, as that had been the case for the one lying dead at the end of it. I approached it, my morbid curiosity trumping the sinking feeling of dread in my stomach.

“Eris, come back. You don’t know what killed it.”

Killed. Right. As I got closer, I discerned the deep gashes opening up the carcass, leaving the organs to spill on the frozen ground. Good thing the cold kept the smell to a minimum, even through it still had me covering my nose with a part of my cloak. It looked… Chewed off, toyed with, but not actually eaten. I remained at a few respectable paces. The snow hadn’t fallen in the pass, and I noticed that even with all the gore spilling out and the multiple wounds, there was barely any blood anywhere. I examined the carcass, eyes drifting from cut to scrape. The animal’s head was thrown back in an impossible angle, the spine broken. On the neck, right below the jaw, was a very discernable bite mark. And it sure as hell was not a wolf’s.

“My, this looks dreadful. Why don’t we take our leave, dear ? I don’t want neither you nor me to be this pack of wolves’ next meal.”

Vlad wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and practically dragged me off the alley. His tone was indecipherable. He might just be actually moved by the horse’s gruesome death. He did seem to like the beasts, as strange as it seemed to me. I didn’t press further, still having a last look before we left. He was very silent as we walked back to the castle, and I had some trouble keeping up with his long paces.

He opened the main door with concerning ease, and almost slammed it behind us, the creaking of the wood on the stone floor echoing through the hall. He took my cloak -- his cloak, actually -- and asked me if I would wait for him in the dining room. I nodded without really thinking about it, still preoccupied by the horrific sight embedded in my brain. I mechanically walked through the corridors, guts and bitemarks flashing before my eyes.

I let myself fall onto a sofa, locking my eyes on the dying fire. I really didn’t want to overthink this. Still, a nauseating feeling twisted my insides. I tried to ignore it. I folded my kneed against my chest, holding them tight against me. The flames danced in the darkness. I thought at that point, I had to be confused. I didn’t understand anything. It all seemed to get stranger and stranger by the minute, and I couldn’t really just stand there, ignoring it. I cut my finger. A horse died.

I didn’t hear when he came back into the room, and had no idea how long I had remained staring onto the fire. Music started playing, with the soft, nostalgic grain of a gramophone. He set a cup of tea on the small pedestal table next to me, warning me to mind the heat. It steamed. His own did not.

“What’s in your cup ?”, I asked.

“Tea”, he replied.

I looked up at him. He was smiling, offering his hand.

“Eris, my dear, may I have the pleasure of a dance with you ?”

“I- I don’t know how to dance”, I tried to evade.

“You will find me to be an excellent teacher”, he told me, his voice sweet and inviting. “Would you do me this favour ? I dearly love to dance, and so rarely have the occasion.”

Understanding that my choice wouldn’t have any sway over the matter, I unfolded my legs, and took his hand. He guided me to the windows, placing his hand a bit above my waist. Some old dancing etiquette resurfacing in my mind, I placed mine on his shoulder, to which he feigned to be impressed by. I couldn’t help but giggle at his expression, to which he responded by pulling me closer. Following his steps was far easier than I thought it would be, and after a short moment, I did it without thinking about it. His eyes locked with mine. So blue. His hair was framing his face in long, wavy strands, catching the silver and golden lights of snow and fire. It almost seemed like he could read right through me, my thoughts, my fears, my desires.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, and no matter how hard I tried to stifle it, the slight smirk on the corner of his lips proved my efforts entirely vain. He slowly had me spin away, and back, wrapping his arm around my waist at my return. With a mischievous smile, he dipped me low. I felt at his mercy, leaning back, with only his arms to hold me. He was so close. Too close.

I turned my head to avoid his gaze, only to feel his breath on my neck. I wanted to say something. Stop him. Did I ? His lips brushed against my skin. Cold. Soft. Sharp. I breathed out his name. It came out choked. He pulled me up, slowly. I could feel him smiling against my skin. He tilted his head up to face me, just after planting a light kiss, right above my collarbone.

“Are you afraid of me ?”, he asked.

His gaze was intense, face inches from mine, holding me close against his chest.

“What’s in your cup ?”, I repeated, in a whisper so low I wasn’t even sure he’d hear it.

He only laughed, quietly, his hands holding me tight. I pressed mine against his chest, freeing me of his grip. He let me go, perfectly conscious that he could have kept me there as long as he wanted. I circled around him to reach his cup, laying on the dinner table.

My hand shaking, hovered about it. Almost full. Dark, viscous liquid, barely see-through. The Count had not moved, simply watching over me, his tall silhouette completely darkened by the light pouring out the windows, behind him. I had to be sure. I had to know. Maybe this was all some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe he just pulled some sick, very unfunny prank on me.

I took hold of the handle, and raised the cup to my face. I didn’t dare breathe in. I dreaded the smell. The liquid moved around slowly, and I noticed a fine film had formed at the surface, breaking off as soon as I moved it. I breathed in. Bitter. Iron. Sweet, in a sickening way. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.

Before I could find anything to do, I felt the Count’s hands slip around my waist, one pulling my shirt to the side, revealing my neck and shoulder. I was paralysed, my heart pounding in my chest so hard it became painful.

“I am a fair hunter”, he whispered against my skin. “I will give you a headstart.”

He dragged his teeth up along my neck, my veins pulsing against the sharp edges. He placed a kiss right under my ear, almost tender, taking his time.

“Run, little rabbit.”

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Taglist : @carydorse @angelicdestieldemon @bloodhon3yx @thewondernanazombie @battocar @moony691 @mjlock @thebeautyofdisorder

[the-awkward-outlaw]

Second Chances - Ch. 20

Burn Down the Mission

Warnings: swearing, light smut, blood, gore 

Word count: ~6700

Masterlist 

Read on AO3

Arthur leads you up north, out of Lemoyne and into New Hanover. You’re glad to see the Heartlands again, the distant blue mountains cloaked in snow. You’re even glad to see the town of Valentine, despite the muddy streets and stench of manure. 

Arthur hitches Artemis outside the store, claiming he wants to pick up a few supplies. Just as he’s walking up the stairs with you, two boys standing in front of a young woman points to him.

“You, mister!” one of them says. 

“What you want?”

“Can I ask you a question? Do I look like a coward to you?” asks the boy in a blue suit. You look to his brother in yellow, realizing they’re nearly identical. “I mean, obviously I do because I look like that milksop!” He gestures to his brother. “Can you help us with something?”

“Maybe,” Arthur says, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Excellent, why don’t we go back somewhere more conductive to utter displays of gallantry and deep seated inadequacy?”

You’re still trying to process what the man said as he leads the group behind the store, his brother calling to him.

“Oh, you’ll be no match for me, brother, you simple minded scoundrel!”

The boys stop beside the building and spare a quick glance to the young woman who has followed you. 

“Now,” the man in the blue suit says to Arthur. “I bet you, unlike my dear and dumb brother, can punch. Do me and the lady a favor and thrash this impudent wretch!” 

“No man alive can thrash me!” his brother declares proudly. 

“I bet this man could easily!” 

“I have an idea. Punch us both as hard as you can!” the brother in the yellow suit says. “You’ll break his glass jaw and I’ll be left standing.” 

“Good idea!” his brother snaps. “Hit me, sir! Don’t hold anything back! Wouldn’t want you disappointing your lady friend there.” 

Arthur glances back at you and chuckles, turning back to the boys.

“A’right, but if anyone asks, you told me to do this.” 

Arthur balls up his fist and hits the yellow-suited brother in the face, who clutches his nose. You can tell Arthur was holding himself back; he’s hit men a lot harder than that.

“Hardly felt it!” the man says, though his eyes are blinking quickly.

“Ha ha! You really walloped him! My turn!” 

Arthur dutifully hits the other brother just as hard. The man’s body jerks to the side as he clutches his jaw. 

“Good Lord above! Doesn’t hurt at all!” 

You try not to laugh and steal a glance over to the young woman the boys are trying to impress. She’s acting quite distraught, but you can tell she’s also enjoying the show. 

“Again! Hit me again!” the yellow brother says. “Hit me right in the gut, mister!” 

Arthur just sighs and sinks his fist into the man’s stomach. Again, you can tell he’s holding back. The man grunts loudly, crouching slightly. 

“Weren’t you taught never to hit girls?” his brother says. “Come hit a real man!” 

Arthur approaches him and gives him the same treatment. The man clutches his stomach briefly before doing his best to straighten up. “Barely even felt it!” he says through clenched teeth.

“Only one thing for it!” the yellow man says. “Hit me in the manhood!” 

“You serious?” Arthur says, shaking his hand. 

“Absolutely! Mine are made of steel, although you may cause his to explode! Come on!” The man stands with his legs slightly spread. Arthur just sighs and thrusts his leg up into the man’s groin. He crumbles, grasping himself. 

“They’ve come out his ears!” the blue man laughs. “My turn!” Arthur walks over to him and does the same, causing him to clutch himself before he, too, falls.

“Had enough, gentlemen?” Arthur asks, frowning at them.

“Yes!” the blue man squeals. “I hope you killed the leprechaun!” 

“He’s still alive?” the yellow man says, his voice an octave higher. 

The woman walks over to them, helping them to their feet. “We need to get some steak on those wounds.”

Arthur shakes his head again. “Madam, gentlemen, take care.” He walks over to you, hiding a small smile. The three behind him begin walking out towards the main street, although the men are still hunched over. 

“You know,” Arthur says, gesturing for you to walk with him. “I done a lot of dumb stuff to impress women, but ain’t ever done nothin’ that stupid.” 

“Oh really?” you say with a smirk. “I can’t imagine that at all, Mr. Morgan.” 

He glances at you, smiling. “Well, I’ve never asked someone to give me a beatin’ just to prove a point.” 

You laugh and loop your arm through his. “No, I suppose not.”

Arthur leads you into the store and he buys you a few supplies. You see on top of a small shelf in the corner a display of books. Most of them are Otis Miller books, which you’ve already read. Among them, you read other titles such as The Junglebook and The Portrait of Dorian Grey.

“See anythin’ you like, darlin’?” he asks. 

You pick up a thicker book. “How about this one?” you say, holding it to him.

“Dracula?” he says, taking it from you and flipping through it.

“You ever read it?” 

“Course not. Don’t even know what it’s about.” 

“Me neither, but let’s give it a shot.”

Arthur just shrugs his shoulders and places the book with the other items to buy. He goes up to the counter, pays and then leads you out to the street. Before mounting up, you both put on your coats and gloves. 

Arthur leads you out of Valentine and further north. You recognize the trail as the same one that leads to Cattail Pond, where you and Arthur had your first kiss. You reminisce on that memory as you cross a river. After travelling up a steep hill, the air becomes frigidly cold. The ground slowly turns from green and brown to white and after travelling a little further on, the horses begin having to pick up their feet above the thick powder.

“I can’t believe there’s still this much snow this late in the year,” you say, rubbing your arms.

“Me neither, but we had a hell of a spring.”

Arthur leads you on past a frozen pond. A large bull moose slips on its icy surface in an attempt to get away from you and Arthur. You wonder if this is Lake Isabella, but Arthur continues on up the white mountain to a high ridge. Once there, the land opens to a wide valley and settled in its bottom is a large, half frozen lake. An island draped in pines sits almost exactly in the middle of it. 

“There she is,” Arthur says, pausing and patting Artemis’s neck. Rannoch breathes heavily from the steep incline, his breath exploding in frosty clouds. 

“So remind me,” you say, your teeth chattering a little, despite the white sun above you. “We’re here for a white buffalo and a giant salmon?”

He looks over at you and laughs, his own nose and ears pink. “That’s right. I’m hopin’ we don’t have to be here more than a day. Depends how easily we can get these two.”

Arthur nudges Artemis on down the mountainside. Rannoch follows her without you having to guide him, slipping slightly on rocks hidden beneath the snow. Finally the ground levels out and the horses step onto the ice of the lake, which creaks but holds.

“Arthur, let me take one of the animals, we can get this done faster.” 

“I’ll take the fish, sweetheart,” Arthur says, dismounting on the island. “I know you done plenty of trackin’. This buffalo should be easy for you. You still got them poison arrows?”

You pull up your sheath and look through it, spotting the arrows Charles had given you some time ago. You nod to Arthur and he smiles. “Good. Well, let’s do this before we lose too much sunlight.”

Arthur gets back on Artemis and heads over to the south end of the lake, which has the least amount of ice. The cold, dark water beckons to you gently in the wind and you shiver. 

You turn your attention to the north, looking for the most likely places to find traces of a buffalo. You know it would stay out in the open of the valley and most of the sides of the mountains are covered in thick pines. You grab your bow and begin moving towards the path curving the west side of the lake. 

Something white moves ahead of you on the trail. You stop, thinking it’s the buffalo, but as your eyes adjust to the blinding snow in the sun, you make out the form of a small, white horse. Its curved face marks it as an Arabian. You study it for a moment before moving on.

Close to the edge of the trees, you finally come across promising signs of buffalo dung. Inspecting it, you find that it was laid down maybe an hour ago. In the snow leading away from it and towards the north end of the lake, you see the faint tracks it left behind. You follow them as they wind around to the western side. You kneel down and inspect a bush with clear signs of having been browsed on when you hear a loud snort. Looking up, you spot between two evergreens the massive form of a buffalo. Just as Arthur had said, its coat is as white as the snow surrounding you. 

Slowly you take your bow and one of the poison arrows. Taking aim, you fire and the arrow slams into the animal’s shoulder. He roars in pain and surprise, charging away from you. You give chase, nearly losing your footing more than once in the snow. You run over a small rise and find him collapsed on the other side. Approaching him slowly, knowing even in this state he’s still dangerous, you ready your knife. You quickly plunge it into his chest and he gives a final cry before falling limp. You begin to skin the giant animal with some difficulty, but you do your best to keep the pelt in good shape. Once it’s done, you whistle for your horse and Rannoch comes pounding towards you.

“Hey boy,” you say affectionately as you throw the pelt over his hindquarters. You prepare to mount him when your foot slips on a hidden rock and you fall on your back into the thick powder. You swear, picking yourself back up and brushing yourself off as best you can. 

“Let’s try that again, boy,” you say, being more careful as you mount up. You guide him back down to the frozen lake and spot Arthur standing on the edge of the ice, his rod pointing over the water. He spots you and waves; you return the gesture. 

“Glad you didn’t have too much trouble,” Arthur says as you stop Rannoch near Artemis. 

“Yeah. He went down pretty easy. Gotta love them poison arrows.” 

He agrees with a small laugh as you dismount and stand next to him. 

“Any luck?” you ask.

“Nah. This bastard’s been toyin’ with the lure a bit, but he can’t decide if he really wants it.”

Arthur sighs and collapses his pole.

“What’s wrong?” you say.

“Nothin’. How about we get a fire goin’, let you at least stay warm while I fish for this monster.”

“I can do that myself, Arthur. Why don’t you keep fishin’?”

“‘Cause I need a break.”

You shrug your shoulders and the two of you walk on the ice, slipping a little, over to firm land. There, you scour the area for anything you can use to light a fire, finding a few small logs that are fairly dry. Arthur begins the fire and you set up the tent. 

“Why don’t you get some of that bison cookin’?” he says, adjusting his gloves.

“Okay, you gonna try again?”

He shrugs his shoulders and walks back to the water, pulling out his pole once more as you kneel down to begin cooking. 

The sun is beginning to set by the time Arthur finally hooks something he thinks is a big fish. He reels it in, fighting with it every few moments. 

“Think I finally got this damn bastard,” he grunts.

You put down the book you’ve been reading aloud and stand up as Arthur pulls up a giant red salmon.

“Jesus, he is a monster, ain’t he?” you say.

“Yeah. Hope that idiot will be happy.” 

“What idiot?”

Arthur tells you about a man he met several weeks ago named Jeremy Gill. He explains that the man will pay a lot of money for big fish that he will then sell to his fans so they can say they caught it while fishing with him. The idea confuses you. 

“People seriously pay money to pretend they’ve caught some monster fish?”

“I guess. Don’t make much sense to me,” Arthur says as he wraps the fish up and throws it over Artemis. He looks up at the red sky. “Hmm, probably too late for us to do much travellin’. You okay if we stay here, darlin’?”

You’re just about to suggest that you can travel through the night just fine when a long, low howl comes drifting over the snow in the direction you’d have to take to get out of the snow. You sigh and decide that the lake might not be a bad idea after all.

Arthur sits down next to you as you hand him a strip of bison and a can of corn. 

“Damn this cold,” he says.

“You’re the one that wanted to come up here,” you tease. 

“I know, but at least the company makes up for it.”

You blush and smile. “You flatter me, Arthur.” 

He chuckles, sitting next to the fire and staring into the flames. The sky is black except for the full moon, bathing the landscape in silver. Arthur yawns heavily.

“Come on, cowboy,” you say, standing up. “Let’s get some rest.”

You’re just about to walk into the tent when he grabs you. You turn and find he’s unbuttoned his coat, revealing his blue shirt beneath. Without a word, he pulls you in tight against him, wrapping his coat around you. You’re immediately enveloped in his heat as you bury your face into his chest.

“You cold or somethin’?” you say, your hands resting on his sides.

“Or somethin’,” he grunts, making you laugh. 

“Big, tough gunslinger.” 

He chuckles and kisses your forehead. “What? A man can’t enjoy holding his girl like this?” 

Warmth blossoms in your chest again. You look up at him. “I love you, Arthur Morgan.” 

“And I love you, Y/N.” He bends down and places a gentle kiss to your lips. You smile up at him and pull off your gloves. Draping your arms around his shoulders, you press your cold hands to the back of his neck, making him flinch. 

“Woo!” he says as you laugh. “Your hands are cold! What happened to your gloves?” 

“Nothin’, they’re here.” You withdraw your hands from his neck, showing him your gloves. 

“Well that ain’t too nice,” he says. He lets you go and starts walking towards the tent. Just as you’re putting on your gloves, something cold hits you in the face. You jump and brush yourself off, looking up to see Arthur grinning. 

“Karma, sweetheart!”

“I didn’t hit you in the face, Morgan!” you yell and charge him. He laughs and braces himself as you plow into him. His foot slips, sending him down onto his back as you both chuckle, you propped on him. You study his blue eyes, the scar on his nose, the tip pink, the pair of scars on his chin. Leaning down, you kiss him, his gloved hand tangling into your hair.

When you break away, he smiles up at you. “Think I’m feelin’ a bit warmer now, darlin’.” 

“Arthur!” you playfully smack his shoulder as he laughs. He gets up, helping you get to your feet and enters the tent. Laying in the cot, he holds you close, wrapping his coat around you once again. 

The next morning, you and Arthur take down camp and head south out of the snow. Once you reach the railroad, you both take off your thick coats. 

“Well, Arthur,” you say. “Hopefully we won’t need an excuse to head up into the cold again for a while.” 

He chuckles. “I don’t think we will, darlin’. Hope you didn’t hate it too much.” 

“I would have if I was by myself, but you made it bearable.” 

He laughs again and leads you across the river towards Valentine, claiming he needs to send the fish to Jeremy Gill. He stops just outside the train station and heads in with the wrapped up fish. While he’s in there, you stay outside, leaning on the fence and enjoying the warm sun. You suddenly notice a pair of men across the road staring at you. Something about them seems familiar, but you can’t put a finger on them. One of them is wearing a bowler hat with a green band around it. 

Arthur comes out of the station and mounts up on Artemis. 

“Well, guess we shouldn’t wander too far from town,” he says. “Think Eagle Flies wants us to meet him close to here. No point headin’ back to camp yet.” He turns Artemis to head into town and you see that the two men are gone. You look around to find them but don’t see them anywhere.

Arthur stops by the butcher and sells the buffalo pelt for $25. 

“What do you want to do until sunset?” you ask from the back of your horse. 

“Oh I got an idea, I think,” he says with a small wink.

“You gonna tell me?” 

“Nope. Just follow me, princess.” 

You roll your eyes as he mounts up and leads you south out of Valentine. You travel along the road, past the cluster of trees marking Horseshoe Overlook, heading further south until you approach the massive Flat Iron Lake. 

It’s just past noon by the time you reach the shores, surrounded by a thick grove of trees.The day is unusually hot, a stark difference from the snows you’ve left behind. You wipe your face with your bandana as Arthur dismounts Artemis. 

“What are we doin’ here?” you ask, hopping onto the sand. 

“Nothin’ special,” he says. “Hold on a minute, I gotta do somethin’.” 

You lead Rannoch to the water as he strolls off into the trees, leaving you in the small clearing. Figuring he’s relieving himself, you sit on a large rock. A few moments pass and he still hasn’t reappeared. You’re beginning to worry, remembering those fellows from town. You hear something rustling in the bushes.

You turn and see Arthur walking towards you, completely nude except for the hat on his head. You raise your brows as you take in his body in all its glory. He smirks at you, seeing where you’re staring. He stops a few feet from you and puts his hand on his hip, thrusting it out to the side. 

“What are you doin’?” you say, forcing your eyes up.

“I don’t know ‘bout you, darlin’, but it’s hot as hell. Figured we could enjoy a good swim.”

You smile nervously and look behind him into the trees.

“You sure we can’t be seen?” you ask.

“Why do you think I chose this spot?” He smiles again at you and walks past you into the water up to his waist. He turns back to you and lifts his hands to you. “Well?”

You shake your head and stand up, quickly removing your clothes, painfully aware of his eyes trained on you. Once you’re naked, you wander towards him into the water.

“Okay, honey,” you say, stopping a few feet from him. “You got me here. Now what?”

He smiles down at you and approaches you. He takes off his hat and places it on your head. It slides down past your eyes, so you tip it up and smile at him. “Hmm, think it looks better on you,” he says. 

You chuckle and close the distance between you. He folds his arms around you, his hands sliding over your back. You stretch up to kiss him when he suddenly pushes you away and dives under the water, purposefully splashing you. You rub your eyes, looking for him. You glance down and see nothing but your toes digging into the mud. You hear a splashing several feet behind you and so you turn, spotting him popping out of the water with a playful smirk.

“Oh so we’re doing that, are we?” you say. You rip off his hat and toss it to the shore. He suddenly stares at you hungrily, his eyes lowering to your exposed chest. You sink down into the water until the water reaches your chin and you grin at him. He begins approaching you, chuckling. Just as he’s about to reach you, you dive beneath the water and swim away from him, quickly circling him. Once you’re behind him, you jump up and grab onto his back. You hold yourself against him, your face pressed to his firm back. His hands grab your arms, pulling them tighter around him. 

“You know,” you say. “I never did pay you back for that day in the woods all those weeks ago.”

“Sweetheart, I didn’t do that with thought of payment.” 

“All the more reason,” you say. 

You slide your hand down his body, studying his skin until you find his half-hard groin. You begin stroking him, your other hand wandering down to join. He sighs heavily, tipping his head back as his length stiffens in your hand. You begin pumping him as his hips begin to thrust gently. 

You take one of your hands away from him so you can turn him to face you. His face is deeply reddened as your hand returns to his cock and continues pumping. He groans heavily, his hips continuing to thrust as his length throbs. You lean in close to him and lick his neck, his hands tangling into your hair. 

“Oh God, darlin’,” he grunts, his voice wavering. You smile and continue to lick and kiss his neck. You pump him harder, his breathing starts to quicken. His hips suddenly lift as he explodes in the water. 

Once his release has passed, he looks down at you, his flushed face sweaty. 

“Okay, sweetheart,” he says, his hands still in your hair. “I don’t want you sayin’ you owe me no more.” 

“Okay, Mr. Morgan.” 

Without warning, his hands travel down to your waist. He picks you up and you wrap your legs around him. He walks forward to the shoreline before he topples on top of you. There, he makes love to you under the blazing sun. 

By afternoon, you and Arthur wake up from your midday nap and decide it’s time to get dressed and make your way up to meet Eagle Flies. You tighten your boots and stand as Arthur brushes off his hat. 

“We should do that more often,” you say with a smile. “That was...well.”

“The best we’ve had?” he finishes with a smile.

“Exactly.” You study the two small bruises on his neck, a mark from your activities. 

You mount up on Rannoch with a small wince which Arthur doesn’t miss. “Sorry, darlin’.”

“Don’t be, Arthur. The price to pay for something that good.” 

“Well, let me know if you need to stop.” 

He leads you out of the trees, heading back up north. You cross into the Heartlands and back up towards Valentine. After a few moments, the tall tower marking the oilfield comes into view. You spot on a ridge overlooking the field a dark man standing next to a horse. Arthur sees him too and canters directly up to him. You recognize him as Eagle Flies and he nods to you.

“You came,” he says.

“We said we would,” Arthur says as you both dismount. 

Eagle Flies hands him a pair of binoculars and explains about a foreman named Danbury, who holds the subject reports in his office. 

“The reports will be destroyed if Danbury suspects anyone is coming for them,” Eagle Flies finishes. 

“There’s only one of me, son, I don’t plan on bein’ spotted,” Arthur says. 

“You mean we don’t plan on being spotted,” you say.

“No, I mean me. You’re gonna stay here with Eagle Flies. This’ll be easier if I do it alone.” 

You roll your eyes but decide not to argue, knowing you won’t win. Arthur asks a few questions regarding the reports. 

“If there’s a problem, call for me,” Eagle Flies says, his face stony. 

“Thought the whole point was so no one suspects you.” 

“Ideally,” Eagle Flies says. 

A covered wagon travels down the path beneath the ridge towards the oil field. Arthur dashes down the ridge and catches up to it, hopping into the back and out of sight. 

“Come on,” Eagle Flies says. “I suspect he will need some help to get out. It’s unlikely he will escape unseen.” 

“Give him some credit,” you say, pulling out your binoculars and watching the wagon Arthur’s hidden himself in. 

“Forgive me if I harbor some doubt,” Eagle Flies hisses. “I never trust mercenaries.” 

“He ain’t a mercenary.” 

“Then why am I paying him to do my people’s work?” 

You lower the binoculars. You can understand his frustrations but decide not to tell him the truth behind Arthur’s motives when it comes to money. “It’s complicated.” 

“Well, whatever it is, I think we ought to be ready just in case he needs help escaping.” 

He hops onto his horse, which is almost completely white except for the large sandy spot covering the majority of its back. You follow him down the ledge on Rannoch, Artemis following silently. Eagle Flies leads you to the tall oil rig and he stops. 

You watch for signs of Arthur through the darkness as the sun vanishes beyond the mountains. Nearly fifteen minutes pass when you hear a man shouting at someone to stop and put their hands up.

“He’s been spotted!” Eagle Flies utters. “Let’s burn this place!” 

“Let me! The less likely you’re seen, the better.” You reach into your satchel and pull out a bottle of alcohol and some cloth. You soak the cloth quickly and stuff half of it into the bottle, lighting the other half. As it begins to burn, you toss the bottle towards the tower and the black ground it sits on. The bottle explodes and the ground quickly catches fire. Several yells of shock and confusion crack through the air as gunfire rings out. You and Eagle Flies slip past the burning ground as you pull out your rifle, firing it at some of the guards who dash about. Through the smoke, you see Arthur running towards you.

“Come on!” Eagle Flies yells to him, shooting an arrow into a guard’s head. Arthur jumps up into Artemis’s saddle and the three of you gallop onto the plains, depending on the darkness to cloak you. Three men on horses follow you, but they’re taken down quickly. 

Eagle Flies leads you to the ridge where he met you and stops. The three of you look down at the burning fields before dismounting your horses. 

“That explosion came just in time,” Arthur says.

“It was her idea, but I was happy to see that oil burn,” Eagle Flies says. “Did you meet Mr. Danbury?” 

“Yes, he was very obliging. Thought you wasn’t gettin’ involved?”

“And I thought you were going to leave silently,” Eagle Flies says, handing him the money. 

Arthur shakes his head and tells him to keep it, handing him the reports. “You saved my life.”

“Thank you, Mr. Morgan. I hope, well, I don’t know what I hope. Maybe these will be of use.” He thanks you and mounts onto his horse, cantering away. 

“I hope things didn’t go too badly?” you say to him as you both hop onto your horses and trot down the ledge. 

“Nah. Had to scare that foreman near half to death to get them papers, but he didn’t seem too brave to begin with.” 

Arthur leads you away from the oil field, south into the Heartlands. On top of a tall mountain overlooking the burning fields, he stops and you both set up camp. After cooking a quick meal, you climb into the tent and snuggle close to him. His hands brush through your hair until you fall asleep. 

In the morning, you quickly pack up camp and Arthur suggests heading back to Shady Belle. You don’t feel like returning yet. Not only will Grimshaw fly on you faster than the devil himself, you haven’t enjoyed camping there. It’s not just the bugs, alligators and muggy air. Something about the place just doesn’t feel right.

“It’s still pretty early, Arthur. Maybe we should do some hunting?”

“Shoar. You wanna stick together or split up?” he says.

“Let’s split up, we can cover more ground that way.” 

“A’right, darlin’. If you need anythin’, just fire your gun three times.” 

You agree before he heads west on Artemis. You go further south, patting Rannoch as he trots through the tall grass. You spot the tree with whiskey bottles dangling from its branches, remembering the night when you’d first seen it while looking for Arthur after he was captured by the O’Driscolls.

“Hey, stop your horse!” two men yell, quickly rounding a bend in the pathyou. They’re pointing their rifles and you stop Rannoch, recognizing them from Valentine. The lilt in their voices tells you they’re O’Driscolls. A third man pops out from behind the tree and grabs Rannoch’s reins. He points his pistol at you.

“This has gotta be her!” he yells to his companions. 

“Why don’t ya slide off your horse?” one of the men on the horses says. “Make a sound or even touch your pistol, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground.” 

You eye their guns and do as you’re told. As soon as your feet touch the ground, the O’Driscoll lets go of Rannoch and he slams his pistol into your face, shoving Rannoch as he throws you down. Rannoch rears up in fright and darts off as the man ties you up. You try to fight him off, but you’re dizzy from the hit to your head.

One of the others laughs as he hops off his horse. “You really think this is her?” 

“She was with Morgan,” the other says. “She has to be the one who rescued him.” 

“So you’re Morgan’s whore?” the man who tied you up says. He reaches down and unbuckles your gun belt, tossing it to the side of the road. He flips you over on your back as the three stand above you. 

“Let me go, fella,” you say. “Let’s just put this all behind us. You almost killed Mr. Morgan and you killed Kieran Duffy. I think we’ve had enough blood shed, don’t you?”

“Oh no,” the man who tied you says. He kneels down beside you and sharply stuffs a bandana into your mouth. You’re beginning to panic. The ropes are so tight your hands and feet are tingling. You can’t see a way out of this now that you’ve no way to use your voice and call for help. 

“What should we do with her?” one of them says. “She’s got a pretty big bounty in Blackwater. Should we take her there?” 

“She killed my cousin!” the one who tied you yells. “I say we send her back to ol’ Morgan the same way we did with Kieran.” 

The other two laugh and agree. The man who tied you up whips out a knife, running his thumb across the blade. “Let’s start with the eyes.” 

He kneels down beside you, hovering the blade above your face. His free hand painfully grabs your chin, preventing you from turning your head. 

Something behind him explodes and you hear the sound of something heavy thudding on the ground coming from the direction of the onlookers. The man holding you releases your face and stands up, his head suddenly bursts, splattering you in blood. His body collapses onto your thighs and you grunt into the gag as another shot rings through the air. You watch as the last O’Driscoll is flung back by the impact, his pistol firing into the sky.

You look over and see Arthur dismounting his horse. He stalks over to you and throws the body off your legs. “Goddamn bastards,” he mutters as he removes the bandana from your mouth. You gasp, glad to breathe freely.

“Oh thank God,” you say as Arthur cuts the binds around your ankles. He helps you to your feet and frees your hands. You turn back around and are just about to say something when he pulls you into a hug. 

“You okay?” he rumbles into your ear. You wrap your arms around his waist, trying to hide how much you’re shaking.

“I’m okay, Arthur. How’d you know to come looking for me?”

He lets you go enough so you can lean back and look at him properly. He runs his thumb across the cut on your forehead from the O’Driscoll’s pistol. “Rannoch came runnin’ over. When I saw you weren’t on him, I knew you was in trouble.” 

“Where is he?” 

Arthur turns and points behind him and you see your appaloosa standing next to Artemis. He snorts as you walk up to him, smiling. “You saved my life, boy.” 

“Sure, and I did nothin’,” Arthur teases, walking up behind you. 

“I’m sorry, Arthur.” You stretch up and kiss his cheek. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it, darlin’. Let’s just get out of here before more trouble comes our way.” 

You both mount up and head in the direction of Emerald Ranch, hunting along the way. Once away from the ambush sight, you travel with Arthur down into Lemoyne and towards camp. You’re glad to be leaving the Heartlands for a while, as beautiful as they are. You rub your raw wrists and do your best to stay calm, but the aftershock of the attack is beginning to set in, causing you to shiver. Being behind Arthur, he doesn’t notice. 

Arthur leads you through the trees towards Shady Belle and you hitch your horses. Once you dismount, Arthur walks over to you, his hand sliding around your waist.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks. 

You nod, although you’re still shivering a little, despite the heat. “Just… just a little shaken, I guess.” 

“That’s normal, sweetheart. Come here.” He pulls you into a tight hug once more, cradling your head to his chest. His scent and his warmth are comforting and familiar, you’re already feeling less shaky. 

Something stomps through the wet grass in your direction and you look up to see Grimshaw looking angrier than ever. 

“Here we go again,” you mumble loud enough for Arthur to hear. 

“Ms. Y/L/N!” she roars, putting her hands on her hips as Arthur lets you go. “We been slavin’ away in this dump and you been off playin’!”

She makes to grab you but Arthur lifts a hand to stop her.

“Ms. Grimshaw, she was helpin’ me find leads in Saint Denis.”

She lowers her hands and glares at him. “And did you find anything worth while, Mr. Morgan? Everyone’s gotta earn their keep!” 

“We did, actually. Plus, we did some huntin’. I promise, we were workin’ the whole time.” 

“Well fine, Mr. Morgan By the way, Dutch needs to speak to you. Y/N, I think you need to stay in camp the next few days. We could really use your help. ” 

She marches off, muttering to herself and you sigh. “Thanks, honey.” 

You both take your hunting load up to Pearson. “Excellent. I can finally make a good stew.” 

Arthur claps a hand to your shoulder and says he’s going to speak with Dutch. You make your way over to the crates where the other girls do the sewing. You sit down yourself and pick up one of Bill’s torn shirts. Mary-Beth sits beside you, unusually quiet while Karen hums to herself from the last remaining crate. 

“How you holdin’ up?” you ask Mary-Beth in a soft voice. She shrugs her shoulders, not looking up from her work. 

“He was such a gentle soul,” she finally says, lowering her sewing. “I still don’t understand how anyone could hurt him.” 

“Some people,” you begin, not really knowing what to say, “are just born bad. Kieran was the last person who deserved that. He was a good man.” 

Mary-Beth sighs and returns to her work. Arthur strolls towards you. He stops and looks at her before putting a hand on her shoulder. 

“How you doin’, Mary-Beth?”

“I… I’m okay, Mr. Morgan. Just promise me those bastards will get what’s comin’ to them.” 

“We will, Mary-Beth. If it helps, we killed three of ‘em this mornin’.” 

She nods and returns to her work again. Arthur turns to you. “Sweetheart, I gotta go to town again. Trelawney found a way onto that boat you heard about. I guess women are allowed on the boat but I don’t think they can go into the parlor. If you wanna come…” 

You smile up at him and shake your head. “Sitting in some lounge waiting for you to rob some fools doesn’t sound like a ton of fun, Arthur. Besides, I think if I step foot out of camp again, Grimshaw will skin me.” 

“Okay,” he chuckles. “Well, keep Mary-Beth company.”

You nod and he bends down and kisses you briefly before making his way back to Artemis.

“That boy’s crazy about you,” Karen says. You smile at her, but you feel slightly guilty being so open in your romance in front of Mary-Beth. She and Kieran may not have had anything going on, but it was obvious they were sweet on each other. 

For the next few hours, you and the others work on chores, but no one picks up a long conversation. By late afternoon, Hosea walks up to Pearson looking pleased.

“We shouldn’t be here too much longer,” you hear him say. 

“Why’s that?”

“That bank job should get us enough to get out of here, then we can go north or west or wherever Dutch thinks might be best.” 

“Thought I heard him mention Tahiti?” Pearson asks.

“Yes, he wants to go there, maybe pick up ranching or mango farming. Who knows? The point is this bank job’s going to help end our troubles, Pearson.” 

Hosea pats him on the shoulder and walks off to the gazebo, coughing slightly as he lights his pipe. 

“You really think we’ll go to some tropical island?” you say to Karen and Mary-Beth. 

Tilly’s scrubbing laundry behind Karen. She leans back to look at you. “Maybe. I been hearin’ Dutch talk a lot about it.” 

You secretly hope the gang doesn’t decide to go to some island. Something doesn’t feel right about it, and it’s unlikely your problems will be any less. Not only that, you’re beginning to miss the west, the open country. 

Night falls and Arthur still has not returned. You’ve noticed that Strauss and Javier are absent as well and figure they’re helping him with the job. You sit by the fire, finally finished with the day’s work, sipping from a bottle of beer. John suddenly plops himself down next to you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says.

“Marston.” 

You fall into an easy silence for a moment. “How’s the boy and Abigail?” you finally ask.

“They’re fine. Abigail… well, she still nags me every chance she gets. Wish I could get Jack to stop saying them weird Italian words that son of a bitch taught him.”

You chuckle as you take a drink. You’ve heard Jack saying a few foreign words since he returned from being Bronte’s captive, as well as mentioning strange foods such as spaghetti. 

John sighs and rubs his hands over his eyes. Abigail calls to him from the balcony of the house, demanding he come help put Jack to bed.

“It never stops,” he says and gets up. You bid him good night and turn back to the fire. You debate whether to go up to your own bed or to stay up and wait for Arthur. After a while, you decide to get some sleep, so you drain the last of your beer and head up.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Reviews: What Is a Man

I wanted my next review to be The Invisible Man but i keep putting that thing off. I think it’s the pacing. it’s kind of funky. I’ll get around to it eventually. Spoiler alert, it’s pretty interesting so far. In the meantime, i finally caught up on a show that dropped and didn’t see when it first released; Castlevania! I passed on actually reviewing he first two season, well, season and a half. That first season was, like, six episodes. This ain’t the BBC, son. Thirteen or bust! Anyway, since we’re about three days from being under marital law, i figure i got time to revisit and review the series so far. Plus, i mean, i need to catch up since the fourth season has already been announced. F*cking Netflix, man. In that vein, pun in tended, here is my review of the series as a whole so far.

The Good

This show is not anime. It’s not. Avatar is not anime. It’s not. This is a sanitized facsimile of what the Japanese do with their animation. Stop calling this sh*t anime! That said, on it’s own, outside of that hilariously unflattering comparison, it can be pretty dope. I don’t think this sh*t holds a candle to studios like Trigger, Madhouse, Gainax, or Shaft, but it’s the best animation coming out of the US i’ve seen in years. The fight scenes in particular are absolutely gorgeous. You can really tell that Netflix invested the necessary resources to make this show look dope, even if the framerate is a little iffy between set pieces.

Now that i’ve died on my anime cross, i just want to acknowledge how good this show looks. It’s f*cking gorgeous, man. I mean, the world, alone, is a feat for the eyes, but i am absolutely in love with the character designs. If you google the characters from the games they are mad cluttered and full of extra nonsense. I’m never a fan of, like, flair on my characters. That’s why i hate the look of Mortal Kombat. That sh*t is gross. Castlevania has that same issue, culminating in the design vomits of Judgement. That game was gross to look at. Gross. This show takes the ludicrously gaudy designs of the games and make them presentable while still paying homage to the core design of the games. Sh*t is miraculous and i can’t help but marvel at that ingenuity. I mean, f*cking Carmilla, dude. Just look up Carmilla in the games and tell me this show ain’t good at it’s job.

Castlevania’s writing is kind of miraculous. As a cat that’s been playing these games since the late 80s, I’m mildly aware of the interconnecting lore between titles. It’s a mess. It’s a goddamn mess. There’s a dope story there, in the muck, but it’s so mired in melodrama, retcon, and years upon years of independent development, it’s completely lost. I appreciate Konami giving storytelling a shot during a time when gameplay was the principal seller of games, they didn’t have to do any of that, but, at some point, clean your sh*t up with a manga or reboot or something, man. The later titles do this sh*t fine. I adore Shanoa and Soma. Their games got the best of both worlds. The Belmonts? Not so much... This show does an amazing job of cutting through the bullsh*t and sharpening that story to a fine point. This is Trevor’s story, the first Belmont we take control of in game, so watching his line grow through the years, with this quality of storytelling, is mad compelling. I mean, you get right into it and it grips you from start to finish. I can’t wait to see where this goes.

The character work in this show is pretty legit. I was thoroughly surprised since the games themselves are rather bare bones and nauseatingly campy at times. Not this show. Nope! This sh*t is grim, dark, and violent. I love it! You can feel the plight one people and the rage of the vampires. Each main character s is beset with pathos and trauma and consequence, for two seasons. Season three is kind of light on growth but does a decent job explaining certain things. Like, this is Belmont’s tale but Sypha is definitely the most interesting character in the show. Everyone does a great job but there are, of course, a few standouts.

Speaking of my girl, did i tell you that Sypha is f*cking amazing? Ma is the most adorable, most badass motherf*cker in this show! I thought she was going to be kind of a weenie, like she is in the games, but nope! Ma is out here, burning motherf*ckers alive and slicing dudes up with ice blades, all the while being her peppy, adorable, kind of bloodthirsty self. F*ck, love Sypha and her voice actress, Alejandra Reynoso, is perfectly cast! She bring a levity and vulnerability to a woman who can take on an army all y her lonesome. I love that sh*t!

I have to mention how dope Dracula is in this how. He’s f*cking badass and, surprisingly, hilarious. His wit is as sharp as his fangs. Even with such overwhelming power, dude is still amazingly human, often time reminding you that he is just a broken, lonely, man. It’s incredible to see. you actually empathize with an entity hellbent of slaughtering humanity. I couldn’t believe that sh*t. A lot of that has to do with the writing but Graham McTavsh does an excellent job delivering those subtle emotional cues.

I feel like is should say something about Richard Armitage’s Trevor Belmont. Dude is dope. he’s how i always imagined Trevor to be. And Armitage is a seasoned veteran at this voice acting game so he does a great job. I’m not blown away or anything but he’s dope. Considering dude is kind of a supporting character in his own show, i think my indifference is warranted. He’s good, though, don’t misunderstand. I’m not decrying his performance or anything. Gold star for sure.

The best thing about season three, outside of my darling Sypha, is Lenore. Holy sh*t is she a great character! I was thoroughly surprised by how brazenly manipulative she turned out to be. Lenore is a f*cking genius and her feigned naivety is brought to life by an absolutely outstanding performance from Jessica Brown Findlay. Ma is on the long con and Carmilla might have some competition to look for.

I like Issac. This last season did wonders for developing his character. His arc is probably the best after Syph’s, mostly because he’s the only other character that even had an arc. His voice actor, Adetokumboh M'Cormack, does a great job developing the enigmatic Forgemaster into a character more than his humdrum game origins.

The Bad

This show is not anime! Stop telling me it’s an anime!

Alucard’s arc in season three was a little... me. I thought he was the one character let down by the writing but it’s not a terrible slight. I just felt he deserved more of a exploration than what he received.

Season three was straight up filler. I guess it has that in common with anime, even though most modern anime ha move away from the Filler system. I mean, i liked a lot of what went on and the character work was delightful but none of this is really of consequence. Most characters either didn’t grow or are exactly who we thought they were. It feels cheap.

Hector. What the f*ck, Hector. What the f*ck.

The Verdict

Season One showed a ton of potential. I enjoyed the whole Dracula arc, even though this was more a story about his disillusionment with humanity rather than how he became Dracula. Season two is the Castlevania know from the games. It was dope seeing that narrative removed from the shenanigans of that Konami narrative jank. I thought they id the characters dope ass justice and the story itself, was rather compelling. I didn’t mind the character changes and the stuff they added felt organic. Season three is the closest thing to a slice of life anime i’ve seen in this show and it’s ridiculous. Like, nothing really happens of consequence and it feels like setup for later seasons but it’s easily the best looking of the three seasons.

Overall, as a whole, Castlevnia is really good. It’s easily one of the best video game adaptions available. This show takes it’s liberties, of course, but it does so in a very respectful manner. The core of the Castlevania lore is revered and embellished with creative additions while keeping the characters true to their game selves. For the most part. I really enjoyed thee character of Dracula when he was around and, oh my god, Lenore is the goddamn best! Sypha is the MVP of this show, though, and i need you people to know that. The art style is beautiful, the narrative is compelling, and you’ll fall in love with the character work. Castlevania is dope and you should go binge all of it since there is literally nothing else to do under quarantine.

[flutteringphalanges]

                                Mirabile Visue

Summary: Sister Agatha Van Helsing discovers she’s in over her head when a competitive game of chess ultimately results in her becoming pregnant with the child of her worst enemy, Count Dracula. Now tied by a bond deeper than blood, the two must learn to coexist and adapt in a world that could be potentially hostile towards their offspring. Parenthood has never looked so batty.

Characters: Dracula/Sister Agatha Van Helsing

Chapters: 3/6

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N:  Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback! I can't express enough how much it means to me to know how you guys thought of each chapter! With that in mind, I wanted to briefly mention that for those who want to physically visualize what Sorina looks like now, my personal view is Violet McGraw when she played in "The Haunting of Hill House" or "Doctor Sleep" but a bit younger than that since she is only three at this point in the story. I just feel like the actress could pull off looking like the child of Agatha and Dracula. Okay, enough explaining, onward to the chapter! -Jen

                                      Transylvania, 1900

                                       Dracula's Castle

It was an exciting time by all accounts, particularly being the beginning of a new century as well as the final hundredth year of the 20th. But mostly, it marked the momentous occasion of Sorina's birth. For three years now, the child had thrived and flourished under the diligent care of her parents. A bright, outspoken little thing that had taken the castle by storm. A queen of her own crowning. She was her father's beating heart and her mother's only worldly possession.

But such love came with a cost. Fear. And Sorina, though free to roam the halls of her domain, was never allowed outside of the manor walls. Agatha had even gone so far as insisting on having every window sealed and the entrance ways only accessible by lock and key. Only Dracula ventured from their home to do his "business" and feeding, the mother too turning away from the sun. Even the moon felt at times like a memory. Still, none of that seemed to matter to the former nun. As long as her daughter was safe, she was at peace.

"Papa!"

The vampire hadn't taken but two steps into the main study when something small collided into him. He looked down and smiled as a set of arms wrapped around his leg, the little girl they belonged to burying her face into the fabric of his pants. As he knelt down to give her a proper hug, his gaze met hers and it was as if Agatha was looking back at him. Sure she had his dark hair that fell in wavy locks, but those stormy blue eyes clearly rivaled those of her mother.

"Ah micul mea liliac," he spoke, pulling her close. "What are you doing out of bed? You'll worry your mother if she wakes up and finds you missing."

"Not sleepy," she explained in as great detail as a small child her age could. "Papa, you left."

"So observant for someone so young," he smiled. "As if you don't keep me and your mother on our toes as it is." Dracula chuckled as Sorina looked at him expectantly, much like his wife did when awaiting an explanation for something he may have done wrong. "Well, I suppose you could say I was feeling rather hungry and decided to go farther than usual to…" He had to think of a good word, something easy enough to comprehend. Agatha insisted upon holding back on telling their child his true feeding habits until she was better capable at understanding. "...to find something really tasty." Or someone.

"Why?" Sorina asked innocently, cocking her head.

The vampire blinked, momentarily forgetting that recently Sorina had become quite the interrogator. Everything needed an answer, she was worse than Agatha. Clearly the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

"Well," he thought. "Because I wanted something different."

"Why?" The little girl inquired, as if needing more proof of his whereabouts.

Dracula exhaled, keeping his composure. "You could say your Papa likes to try new things."

Before Sorina could utter another word, a voice echoed down the hallway. Both had barely a moment to react when a nearly out of breath Agatha came into view. The anxiety etched on her face was quickly swept away by a look of relief when her gaze landed on her daughter. She hurried over almost seeming as if she didn't even realize Dracula was there.

"Sorina," she exhaled. "There you are. You simply cannot disappear like that in the middle of the night."

"Sorry, Mama," the young girl apologized, looking down at the ground. "But Papa's home!"

Agatha finally looked at her husband, who in turn gazed back at her with raised eyebrows. "So I see," she commented. "I suppose I can forgive your excitement, but next time do wake me up before you go running about. It's important that I'm awake when you play. I need to have at least some idea where you are."

"You should give her more credit than that, darling," Dracula smiled, lifting his daughter up. "Sorina may be young, but she's wise beyond her years."

The former nun folded her arms and frowned. "Need I remind you of…" she paused, realizing the girl's eyes were on her. She sighed. "I don't wish to discuss this matter in front of her. All things considered, she is just a child."

"I'm a big girl," Sorina cut in proudly. "I'm three!"

The count smiled, taking a moment to push a lock of hair behind his daughter's ear. Agatha's over-protectiveness had a way of showing itself and most certainly he would be reprimanded the minute they were in privacy, but he understood Sorina's desire to explore. It was a characteristic they both shared. Yet he also knew, as a parent, that his wife did pose some good points. Especially when it came to the uncertainty of what vampire traits she had inherited from him. She could sustain on both animal blood and human food as well as sleep outside of a coffin and its soil, but sunlight? Neither parent dared risk if such was deadly to her or not.

"Your mother is right, little one," the count responded. "You must be careful." He looked to Agatha who nodded in approval. "As goes for your mother and me too. Do you promise?"

"Okay," the girl yawned. "I promise."

"That's my girl," he smiled, placing a kiss on her temple. "Let's get you to bed now. I think we could all do with some rest. I don't have to go out for a while so perhaps later we can play? Does that sound good?"

Sorina nodded, not fighting the exhaustion that had finally found her. Adjusting her in his arms, Dracula ascended the staircase, Agatha in tow. His eyes were adjusted well enough to the darkness, but the torches still lit up the long hallway for both Agatha's and Sorina's sake. The door to the young girl's room was already open after her mother's panic of noticing her child was missing. Approaching her bed, the vampire gingerly placed Sorina down before covering her with a blanket.

"Are you going to berate me now?" Dracula asked coolly the second both adults stepped out of the room. "She didn't mean anything by it."

"Of course she didn't," Agatha hissed quietly. "But that doesn't mean you don't under-react when she wanders off like this without either of us knowing. She's a little girl, Dracula."

"Who should be allowed to explore! The manor is safe," he chuckled humorlessly. "I've made sure of it. Not even a fly has managed to sneak in, not to mention you got rid of all of the bodies I had in boxes-"

"Because the last thing we need is for our daughter to be traumatized by some undead creature popping out like a jack-in-a-box toy!" She countered, folding her arms so tightly over her chest that Dracula was surprised they didn't break. "You should be taking this more seriously!"

"I am," he insisted. "Everything you've asked, I've done without question. Everything. At this point, you might as well lock her away in a tower. You aren't the only one whose given up things, Agatha!"

Dracula realized his mistake the moment those words escaped from his lips. The former nun swallowed thickly and, without another word, turned on her heels and stormed off into her room.

"Agatha, wait!" He called after her, reaching her door just as it closed. "Look, I didn't mean-"

"You're right," Agatha's voice sounded muffled from behind the thick wood. "I have asked a lot of you. I'm feeling rather tired, so if you don't mind."

The vampire pinched the brim of his nose and closed his eyes tightly. Debating with his wife was one thing, but actually fighting with her took the fun out of it. Falling in love with Agatha had led him to experiencing new emotions and regretfully one of those had been guilt. It used to be so easy not to feel and yet, though it felt weird to admit it, he wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "The sacrifices you've made will always trump mine. I know you only want what's best for her, and I swear upon everything I do too. You know," he exhaled. "When I came home tonight, she was bombarding me with questions. Reminds me of someone else I know."

He heard a quiet chuckle from the other side of the door. "Funny," she mused. "I could say the same about you when it comes to how hard-headed she is."

The bedroom door opened and for the first time that night, Dracula saw a genuine smile etched on the former nun's face. The vampire pulled her into his arms and held her close, Agatha allowing her eyes to close.

"Dracula?" She asked softly, still in his embrace.

"What business have you been doing exactly? Besides feeding?"

He pulled back, looking into her eyes. "I cannot go into detail now, but when the time comes, I will tell you everything. I must ask only for your trust. I promise everything will make sense in time."

Agatha was silent for a moment. "I trust you," she finally breathed. "Unconditionally."

"Where is Agatha and what have you done with her?" Dracula smirked, kissing the top of her head. He held her close, inhaling her scent. "This will be good for the three of us. Just you wait and see."

                                                     XXX

"No, Papa, like this!"

Agatha looked over her book only to see Dracula sitting on the floor, doll in hand, as Sorina demonstrated how to properly make the doll "walk". She smiled, never in a million lifetimes would she have ever pictured the infamous Count Dracula playing dolls with a daughter she shared with him no less. And yet, there he sat, looking as content as one could be.

"Ohh," he said, feigning surprise. "Terribly sorry. Like this?" He made the doll move as his daughter instructed, causing her to giggle. "And how are you today, Ms. Balaur? Going to the market, are we?"

"Oh yes," Sorina stated, bouncing the other doll. "Time for tea!"

"Balaur?" Agatha commented, a confused smile crossing her features. "That's quite a name to come up with, Sorina."

"Papa picked it," her daughter replied.

"Must've heard it somewhere," Dracula shrugged. "Was on my mind at the time."

"Papa, play," Sorina insisted. "Tea time!"

Agatha continued to eye her husband intently before returning to her book. It was on Atlantis, some lost city theorized to have existed that now lay in the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. Dracula had purchased it for her knowing her love for anything remotely supernatural or myth based. That's how she became intent on tracking him down. The reality of that had turned out much different than she planned.

Suddenly, there came a knock at the front entrance. Before Agatha even had a moment to set her book down, Dracula already had Sorina in his arms. He stood there, glowering at the direction of the sound when the banging came again. Only this time, it was much louder.

"Dracula, take Sorina upstairs." Agatha said calmly.

"Agatha," Dracula said, clearly displeased with her idea. "Ignore it."

"It's daytime," the former nun stated. "Go upstairs."

"Papa," Sorina asked, looking at her father. "What's wrong?"

"Go now," Agatha urged. "I'll be fine."

The vampire continued to eye the door before letting out a heavy sigh of defeat. He knew he couldn't win against Agatha. Holding his daughter closer, he met his wife's unblinking gaze.

"Go," she repeated. "I'll call out if something's wrong."

She waited until both were up the stairs and out of her sight before venturing towards the doors. As she passed by the fireplace, she carefully grabbed the iron rod that was the poker. At least she could have some form of a weapon. Locating the key, her hands slightly trembled as she began to undo the locks. However, it wasn't out of fear. No, it was excitement. Rarely, had Agatha seen the outside, much less the sun. Caring for Sorina had seen to that. So when she had finally unlocked the door, pushing it just open enough to see who was knocking, Agatha couldn't help the sharp inhale of delight when the warm rays hit her face.

"Miss?"

A gruff voice tugged the former nun back to reality. Agatha nearly jumped in surprise at the man who stood before her. An older fellow who, when noticing he'd caught her gaze, removed his cap from his balding head.

"My apologies, Miss," he cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to startle you. My name is Gellert. Gellert Bartok? You must be Count Dracula's wife."

"I am," Agatha said hesitantly. "Is there a matter I can assist you with? My husband isn't feeling well at the moment. I can handle any business matters of his."

"Right. Of course," Gellert said with a half smile. "Sorry for coming over so unexpectedly. Usually I come at night, as he requested? A few times a month, I'm sure he's told you."

"I'm aware," she nodded.

"We had an incident with some hogs. Something got 'em during the night? I wanted to talk to your husband about getting more. I brought what I could with me." He motioned to a rather small barrel by his feet. "I can carry it in for you."

"That's quite alright," Agatha said briskly. "I can handle-"

"I must insist," the farmer smiled, nudging the door to open wider with his foot. "I'm not going to make a lady like yourself carry something so heavy."

Agatha had never felt as tense as she did the moment the entrance way closed behind her. The stranger, to her at least, completely unaware of his surroundings strode over to the table and placed the barrel down. He looked around the room and whistled.

"I've never stepped foot in this place," he commented. "Always just dropped everything off or met your husband outside. This is quite the establishment. Never seen anything like it."

"I'm quite particular when it comes to decor."

Much to Agatha's horror, she recognized that voice all too well. She turned and with wide eyes stared at Dracula, who had now decided to join them.

"Count Dracula," the farmer smiled nervously. "Your wife told me you were ill."

"I'm feeling better," Dracula replied simply. "Might I inquire why you are standing in my dining room?"

"Oh," Gellert said, scratching the back of his neck. "I was just informing your wife that we had issues on the farm with the hogs. Something killed off a good many of them. I wanted to ask if you would be so generous as to perhaps provide-"

"Yes, yes, of course," Dracula waved dismissively. "Let us discuss the matter in a different room. Voices echo and my daughter is trying to sleep." He looked to Agatha. "Darling, would you mind retrieving some wine for our guest? Surely this won't take long, but I want to be a good host," he smiled at the farmer. "If you'd follow me."

Unbeknownst to either parent, Sorina watched from the shadows as her mother and father followed the strange man down one of the corridors. She'd never seen another person before, only heard about them in her story books. The young girl looked back over her shoulder at her bedroom. Surely her parents wouldn't be too cross. Besides, she'd recognize that scent anywhere. The one that wafted from the barrel on the table.

Quietly, she made her way down the steps and into the dining room. With ease, she climbed up a chair before kneeling in front of her prize. It was a little difficult, but with surprising strength considering her age, Sorina managed to get the top off. Her eyes sparked as the aroma of the crimson liquid filled her nose. With no means of properly drinking it, Sorina, much like a kid and a cookie jar, scooped out a palm full and began to slurp.

"What in God's name-"

Gellert looked on in horror as the young girl turned to face them, her tiny fangs and blood smeared mouth giving away that she was far from a normal child. But before he could react, Dracula shoved him hard against the wall, a yelp of pain escaping the man. Sorina began to cry, snapping Agatha out of her stunned state brought on by the situation.

"Take her upstairs," Dracula growled, his own features beginning to morph, his words mirroring Agatha's from before. "You don't want her to see this."

The woman didn't need to be told twice as she scooped her distressed child up and quickly ascended the steps. She could hear the man pleading with the vampire as she ran into Sorina's room and knocked the door closed with her hip.

"Sorry, Mama," the girl cried. "Sorry!"

"It's okay," Agatha soothed, her own voice shaking. She held Sorina close, pressing her face into her daughter's hair. "It's okay."

Time seemed to move slowly as Agatha sat in the dark room hugging Sorina tightly to her. It was only when the sound of familiar footsteps grew closer and the door open, did she see Dracula standing before her.

"Papa!" Sorina cried out, running into the arms of her father.

He picked her up and held her close before his eyes met those of his wife.

"Agatha," he said quietly. "I think it's time for me to tell you about England."

[smokeybrand]

Smokey band Reviews: What Is a Man

I wanted my next review to be The Invisible Man but i keep putting that thing off. I think it’s the pacing. it’s kind of funky. I’ll get around to it eventually. Spoiler alert, it’s pretty interesting so far. In the meantime, i finally caught up on a show that dropped and didn’t see when it first released; Castlevania! I passed on actually reviewing he first two season, well, season and a half. That first season was, like, six episodes. This ain’t the BBC, son. Thirteen or bust! Anyway, since we’re about three days from being under marital law, i figure i got time to revisit and review the series so far. Plus, i mean, i need to catch up since the fourth season has already been announced. F*cking Netflix, man. In that vein, pun in tended, here is my review of the series as a whole so far.

The Good

This show is not anime. It’s not. Avatar is not anime. It’s not. This is a sanitized facsimile of what the Japanese do with their animation. Stop calling this sh*t anime! That said, on it’s own, outside of that hilariously unflattering comparison, it can be pretty dope. I don’t think this sh*t holds a candle to studios like Trigger, Madhouse, Gainax, or Shaft, but it’s the best animation coming out of the US i’ve seen in years. The fight scenes in particular are absolutely gorgeous. You can really tell that Netflix invested the necessary resources to make this show look dope, even if the framerate is a little iffy between set pieces.

Now that i’ve died on my anime cross, i just want to acknowledge how good this show looks. It’s f*cking gorgeous, man. I mean, the world, alone, is a feat for the eyes, but i am absolutely in love with the character designs. If you google the characters from the games they are mad cluttered and full of extra nonsense. I’m never a fan of, like, flair on my characters. That’s why i hate the look of Mortal Kombat. That sh*t is gross. Castlevania has that same issue, culminating in the design vomits of Judgement. That game was gross to look at. Gross. This show takes the ludicrously gaudy designs of the games and make them presentable while still paying homage to the core design of the games. Sh*t is miraculous and i can’t help but marvel at that ingenuity. I mean, f*cking Carmilla, dude. Just look up Carmilla in the games and tell me this show ain’t good at it’s job.

Castlevania’s writing is kind of miraculous. As a cat that’s been playing these games since the late 80s, I’m mildly aware of the interconnecting lore between titles. It’s a mess. It’s a goddamn mess. There’s a dope story there, in the muck, but it’s so mired in melodrama, retcon, and years upon years of independent development, it’s completely lost. I appreciate Konami giving storytelling a shot during a time when gameplay was the principal seller of games, they didn’t have to do any of that, but, at some point, clean your sh*t up with a manga or reboot or something, man. The later titles do this sh*t fine. I adore Shanoa and Soma. Their games got the best of both worlds. The Belmonts? Not so much... This show does an amazing job of cutting through the bullsh*t and sharpening that story to a fine point. This is Trevor’s story, the first Belmont we take control of in game, so watching his line grow through the years, with this quality of storytelling, is mad compelling. I mean, you get right into it and it grips you from start to finish. I can’t wait to see where this goes.

The character work in this show is pretty legit. I was thoroughly surprised since the games themselves are rather bare bones and nauseatingly campy at times. Not this show. Nope! This sh*t is grim, dark, and violent. I love it! You can feel the plight one people and the rage of the vampires. Each main character s is beset with pathos and trauma and consequence, for two seasons. Season three is kind of light on growth but does a decent job explaining certain things. Like, this is Belmont’s tale but Sypha is definitely the most interesting character in the show. Everyone does a great job but there are, of course, a few standouts.

Speaking of my girl, did i tell you that Sypha is f*cking amazing? Ma is the most adorable, most badass motherf*cker in this show! I thought she was going to be kind of a weenie, like she is in the games, but nope! Ma is out here, burning motherf*ckers alive and slicing dudes up with ice blades, all the while being her peppy, adorable, kind of bloodthirsty self. F*ck, love Sypha and her voice actress, Alejandra Reynoso, is perfectly cast! She bring a levity and vulnerability to a woman who can take on an army all y her lonesome. I love that sh*t!

I have to mention how dope Dracula is in this how. He’s f*cking badass and, surprisingly, hilarious. His wit is as sharp as his fangs. Even with such overwhelming power, dude is still amazingly human, often time reminding you that he is just a broken, lonely, man. It’s incredible to see. you actually empathize with an entity hellbent of slaughtering humanity. I couldn’t believe that sh*t. A lot of that has to do with the writing but Graham McTavsh does an excellent job delivering those subtle emotional cues.

I feel like is should say something about Richard Armitage’s Trevor Belmont. Dude is dope. he’s how i always imagined Trevor to be. And Armitage is a seasoned veteran at this voice acting game so he does a great job. I’m not blown away or anything but he’s dope. Considering dude is kind of a supporting character in his own show, i think my indifference is warranted. He’s good, though, don’t misunderstand. I’m not decrying his performance or anything. Gold star for sure.

The best thing about season three, outside of my darling Sypha, is Lenore. Holy sh*t is she a great character! I was thoroughly surprised by how brazenly manipulative she turned out to be. Lenore is a f*cking genius and her feigned naivety is brought to life by an absolutely outstanding performance from Jessica Brown Findlay. Ma is on the long con and Carmilla might have some competition to look for.

I like Issac. This last season did wonders for developing his character. His arc is probably the best after Syph’s, mostly because he’s the only other character that even had an arc. His voice actor, Adetokumboh M'Cormack, does a great job developing the enigmatic Forgemaster into a character more than his humdrum game origins.

The Bad

This show is not anime! Stop telling me it’s an anime!

Alucard’s arc in season three was a little... me. I thought he was the one character let down by the writing but it’s not a terrible slight. I just felt he deserved more of a exploration than what he received.

Season three was straight up filler. I guess it has that in common with anime, even though most modern anime ha move away from the Filler system. I mean, i liked a lot of what went on and the character work was delightful but none of this is really of consequence. Most characters either didn’t grow or are exactly who we thought they were. It feels cheap.

Hector. What the f*ck, Hector. What the f*ck.

The Verdict

Season One showed a ton of potential. I enjoyed the whole Dracula arc, even though this was more a story about his disillusionment with humanity rather than how he became Dracula. Season two is the Castlevania know from the games. It was dope seeing that narrative removed from the shenanigans of that Konami narrative jank. I thought they id the characters dope ass justice and the story itself, was rather compelling. I didn’t mind the character changes and the stuff they added felt organic. Season three is the closest thing to a slice of life anime i’ve seen in this show and it’s ridiculous. Like, nothing really happens of consequence and it feels like setup for later seasons but it’s easily the best looking of the three seasons.

Overall, as a whole, Castlevnia is really good. It’s easily one of the best video game adaptions available. This show takes it’s liberties, of course, but it does so in a very respectful manner. The core of the Castlevania lore is revered and embellished with creative additions while keeping the characters true to their game selves. For the most part. I really enjoyed thee character of Dracula when he was around and, oh my god, Lenore is the goddamn best! Sypha is the MVP of this show, though, and i need you people to know that. The art style is beautiful, the narrative is compelling, and you’ll fall in love with the character work. Castlevania is dope and you should go binge all of it since there is literally nothing else to do under quarantine.

[moonsandmelodies]

A Gothic Top 5

As The Banshees were my biggest gateway into my music obsession, I’ve had a fascination for gothic themes for many years now. As picky as I get with the goth rock/darkwave scenes, they generated and influenced several of my all-time favorite albums. To coincide with this Halloween, I’ve decided to look back on five of my most formative gothic, autumnal and/or 'spooky' favorites.

This is more about representing than building an exact top-5, so check out this related list and my Halloween mixes if you want more.

Lene Lovich - Shadows And Dust, 2005

Lene Lovich is new wave’s wacky witch of the west. Anyone familiar with her distinctive polka-dotted voice will know this already. Shadows And Dust is the lesser-known piece to the puzzle. Despite coming fifteen years after March, Lene sounds more witchy than ever. She tributes the Wicked One herself with all the right gleeful camp on track 9.

Mixing non-forced cabaret drama with speculative themes, SAD is a goth-pop wonderland. SAD plays like a natural step from where she left off, unfazed by time. It never lacks a new trick to show off, be it wispy synth bells (“Ghost Story”), viking-like backing vocals, a grim synth-string intro (“Remember”) or an elaborate Dracula narrative (“Insect Eater”). To top this off, every song has a bouncy hook to get you nodding along. Altogether, it brings me back to Siouxsie's Peepshow. With a bold sing-along and mutant arrangement, “Shapeshifter” makes a worthy “Peek-A-Boo” sequel. And this is coming from a fanatic!

Lene sings like she's stirring a cauldron. Her voice wears a bit on louder sections, but I love her enthusiasm. Her wild-but-warm spirit hasn’t faded a bit, and her deeper, richer tone matches her themes. The sheer thrill she takes in voicing Reinfield on "Insect Eater" is nearly contagious. Sweeter moments like "Remember" show her knack for tender romance isn't gone either.

Even beyond her ‘prime’, Lene had so much more to offer than “Lucky Number”. SAD is a major reason why; the limited release has me wishing more fans got to hear it.

Grimes - Halfaxa, 2010

In a Simpler Time (tm) before dating billionaires and romanticizing climate change with anime, Claire Boucher packed fresh creative instincts into a computer. On oft-ridiculed Halfaxa, she channeled cathedrals and haunted medieval heirlooms from what many critics dismiss as the lowest dregs in music-making: Garageband. Albums like this tell me they're wrong.

These technical limits and her isolation at the time informed these songs to unique results. Like many albums in this formative time for bedroom e-music, she’s alone with her thoughts here. Like any creative mind, I can lose myself in these thoughts. Naturally, the songs create unique emotional portraits, both vague and pointed. “Devon”, for one, is a raw, rejected love song all the way, but with other highlights like ”Dream Fortress”, I detect so many different feelings at once. It's sad nostalgia for that once-beautiful abandoned heirloom one minute and ghostly horror the next.

Halfaxa is a mind, a universe and a huge antique house. It thrives in surrealism and history’s shadows, but as other reviews stated before, you find human feelings inside. Her devotion to Mariah Carey helped; she stated Halfaxa was her attempt to capture the spacious, haunting effects of group church singing. I know well these vocals can be a bit much with the echoes and caterwauls everywhere, but I would argue the cowgirl-punk approach on Art Angels has it’s own acquired taste.

Halfaxa is ethereal wave’s digital-age niece; any fan should try it.

Bauhaus - The Sky's Gone Out, 1982

Bauhaus’ messiness was the main reason I was a ‘casual fan’ rather than worshipper. With that said, Sky’s Gone Out struck me as a thrilling mess if anything. Beyond “Exquisite Corpse”, the songs don’t lose their footing in shouty jam-outs. They had more ambitious ideas and the experience to pull them off by now. They were maturing from the faux-edgy rambling that filled their debut.

Sky’s Gone Out stands out further as the one Bauhaus album where they could pull a true ‘scare’ on me. For all the hammy drama leftover from Mask, this album allows itself to build a stronger atmosphere, one that belongs in bizarre nightmares out of an arthouse film. Sky’s Gone Out has it’s own black-and-white, surrealist world like the cover art.

Complete with piano and sax from a haunted house, “Spirit” isn’t punk as much as a wild, dancing chorus of ghosts. The "Three Shadows” trio is a journey in itself, going from quiet goth-tar disturbance to an underworld's fairground waltz.

Despite everything, the album ends on a quiet, solemn note with “All We Ever Wanted”. It’s the gentlest song to the Bauhaus name. >Peter’s fittingly spectral highs toward the end whirled around my head for years. Fun as songs like “Spirit” and “Bela Lugosi” get, it makes me wish Peter Murphy showed this vulnerable side more often.

Cocteau Twins - Head Over Heels, 1983

Head Over Heels takes place in the mountains and towering caves of your mind. As the first ’normal’ Cocteau album, this invented ethereal wave as we know it and pioneered the 4AD sound. I’d argue shoegaze’s whole color-wash approach began around here too.

HOH is a thrilling display for Cocteau's leftover goth roots in the more elemental context that would become their trademark. Liz Fraser’s voice settles a bit, sounding freer than ever as she belts, quivers and hums with equal strength. Her usual non-lyrics add to the enigma but her tone posesses incredible warmth and nobility here. The boldness in her delivery is surprising knowing her famous self-deprecation.

The spacious fuzz-guitar draws curiosity but insists to lurk in shadows. It’s a long, long gaze into said caves, where water drips quietly and huge sun rays peer inside. This is the moody, bewitching edge of nature in it’s full glory. It can be “Sugar Hiccup”’s candyland dream sequence or an intimidating divine beast emerging from it’s lair. What never fails to cast a spell on me is “Tinderbox Of A Heart”, a tie with “Fifty Fifty Clown” for my favorite CT song. it works like a travelogue for HOH’s world, where this mountain-cave turns out huge from the outside and all you can do is glare in awe.

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Peepshow, 1988

As the 33 1/3 book stresses, Peepshow emphasized SATB's art-film interests. At this point, they were more a 'goth pop' group. Far from Juju's raw impact, then, but resuming the moody elegance that graced Dreamhouse and Tinderbox. For each goth-tar you have ”Carousel”’s haunted circus organ, "Rhapsody"s chilly strings and "Peek-A-Boo"'s reversed tango.

Martin McCarrick is the one who took the Banshees (further) beyond rock. Adding cello, accordion and other new flavors, he's one of their most unique members. The result is the band's last goth album, being a few years before "Kiss Them For Me". As if predicting this change, they went all-out with it. Peepshow has all the thrill, variety and surrealism to remind you why this band was so vital to the goth scene. Q gave this apt summary: 'Peepshow takes place in some distorted fairground of the mind where weird and wonderful shapes loom’. In a parallel to Goldfrapp's debut made in a cottage, they recorded these songs in a 17th century mansion. It's the kind of album that puts modern dark cabaret and Hot Topic rock to shame.

Siouxsie sounds like the suave and secretive ringleader in a freakshow. Songs like “Scarecrow” and “Rhapsody” showcase her refining flair for drama. As a whole, Peepshow finds this band at a special middle ground. Yet to hit the Top 40 with “Kiss Them For Me” but on their way, with their middle era's adventurous spirits intact.

[aerislei]

Theories: UA Traitor

So, so far post season three I have done the main wrap up for the season, Todoroki Shouto (and a post about his scar), Dabi (as well as my take on Dabi is Touya all in one post), and I’ve done Katsuki Bakugo, and Midoriya Izuku.

Is there anyone in particular that you guys want to see me cover? Lemme know if there is! (asking again because I got no responses last time >>;)

Still to come on the headcanon front: I want to talk about  All for One/One for All, and The Doctor.

So, as I skim the tag I have seen a load of different theories as to who the traitor might be, everywhere from “there is no traitor” to “it’s Nezu”

I personally am (and was) left drawing a lot of blanks. I first considered who the traitor might be around when Present Mic mentioned he thought that there was some kind of leak, and I realized he was right, there almost had to be.

But man the show (and frankly the Manga) has done a great job of leaving us in the dark as to who it might be.

My current top contenders are: Hagakure Toru, Uraraka Ochako,  Kan Sekijiro (Vlad King), and Nezu. Yep that’s two potential students and two potential adults.

I’m going to start with the one I was considering most strongly originally, and that is Kan Sekijiro. Don’t crucify me here, because I know we know basically not a damn thing about him but that’s kind of one of my points. We know nothing about this guy except he has a blood quirk and his hero name is Vlad King and he’s 1-B’s homeroom teacher.

Quick Points: I was going to break this up between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ but like many of them can be read multiple ways so.

- He’s one of very few people who knew where the summer training camp was. Even the students didn’t know the exact location, which makes it being one of them much less likely. It is what got him put on the list to begin with. Doubly so when you consider how little threat he faced compared to even Aizawa against Dabi.

- His Hero name is ‘Vlad King’ which, is not a tell on it’s own, except it seems to be a reference to, you know, Count Dracula and Vlad the Impaler. Neither are great figures. It definitely makes me second guess his motives to an extent.

- He’s not actually all that close to our protagonist(s) and that makes it slightly less likely because trouble always shows up around them. But also, he’s not close to our protagonist in the sense that he has no reason to care what happens to him.

- On the other hand Class 1-B consistently over all takes less damage in everything, which makes some sense if he’s protecting them. The “it’s our turn” could be a sham, or it might be an indication of his intent to sabotage 1A in some way.

- He has/had access to absolutely all the knowledge necessary to set up the USJ attack and the training camp attack.

Gotta admit, he’s still my best guess at it.

So next is Nezu

-- Canon dislike of humans. this literally goes both ways because why would he work with a group of evil humans to sabotage good ones, but also he’s shown to be reasonably callous towards student safety.

-- More than intelligent enough to manage to both be the leak and pretend to look for the leak

-- Would also, obviously, have all the information necessary to set up the USJ and training camp attacks. Also had impeccable timing for slowing down All Might going to the USJ. Could have been innocent, could have been trying to make sure someone got hurt before he arrived, since the original plan was already ruined.

-- Nezu DID know the original plan had been ruined by All Might not going to the USJ after his hitting his limit, if it was him though, and he didn’t pass off that information. It’s technically possible that he decided at the last second to let the LoV into a trap they weren’t expecting. Maybe to see how they handled it, maybe because he hates humans in general.

-- Has used the issues with with LoV to close off his students from the outside world, to an extent. They all now live on campus under his authority and presumably he’s keeping tabs on them, trying to “figure out” who the leak is. This means he could easily set up further attacks on specific ones because he knows, essentially, where they are at all times.

So next, the student pair. Now, both students have one mark against them out of the starting gate: they shouldn’t have had the teacher schedule to know about the USJ, that was a surprise, and the training camp location was also changed abruptly so they didn’t know where it was.

Hagakure Toru

-- So admittedly my stance on it being her is shaky. We don’t really know enough about her to say much about her personality factoring in

-- There is also a sharp mark against her because she was pretty seriously injured during the Training Camp attack

-- On the other hand, her quirk would have allowed her to make up for not being “supposed” to know about who was going to be at the USJ with them, because she can be totally invisible if she undresses, which we’ve seen her do when “things get serious”. That would allow her to invisibly sneak around and find information that she couldn’t get normally - like a teacher schedule, or overhearing a conversation she should never have been present for.

-- That’s the biggest support for her honestly, that we know little about her, and the fact that her quirk could allow her to be absolutely anywhere completely undetected unless someone physically touched her on accident.

Uraraka Ochako

-- So I am personally very on the fence about her being the traitor. I don’t think I want to see it, she’s a sweet character and I’d be kind of sad to see her tarnished by such a thing. On the other hand, played off right that unveiling could be absolutely amazingly well written, and it’s not uncommon, as I recall, for a friend to be a traitor in this sort of anime.

-- So we know she’s basically the sweetest thing, but she’s got a very real determined streak to do well because her family is poor. This tells us a few things, one she’ll do almost anything to support her family, and two, uh, her family means a shitton to her.

-- My favorite theory for her, I think, is that she’s being blackmailed in some way, and they offered her money to do it, and then told her if she backed out (after she had already agreed or tentatively listened to their proposal) they would hurt her family. This satisfies two points about her personality - one she wants money to support her family and make their lives easier, and also, a threat to her family would make her take action. ... When we start the series her combat skill isn’t all that great, either. She’d stand no chance against whoever’s trying to use her.

-- She’s extremely close to Midoriya and has generalized access to a lot of information that could seriously hurt the class overall.

-- How she would have gotten access to the teacher’s schedule is unknown to me. But the training camp might have been as simple as using gps on her phone to locate them and then sending it to the LoV.

Overall I’m not really convinced on any specific one of them. These are my top contenders and the best points for/against them that I can think of. No matter who it is I think the reveal is going to be pretty dramatic, if we ever find out, because regardless of who it is, they’re someone everyone has trusted for all this time.

[theinquisitivej]

Review Variety Pack: Singers, Vampires, and Autopsies

When you write reviews, there are some weeks where there’s simply nothing on the schedule that grabs your interest or sparks any ideas that you feel compelled to write down. Then there are the times where you have the opposite problem, and you end up watching more than enough content to fill two or three articles, and you just don’t know what to pick. When this happens, I’m often torn between my desire to cover everything I see to produce more content and talk about as many different things with my readers as physically possible, and the practical limitation of only having so much time each week to properly go into extensive detail of what I’ve seen. Well, on this occasion, I thought I would try something a little different and take a quick look at a couple films and a TV series rather than dedicate an entire article to just one of them. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to the more in-depth format for my reviews soon enough. For now, this approach just allows me to catch up on some of the content I’ve been meaning to talk about, as well as point you all in the direction of a couple of items. There may even be one or two which have flown under the radar for you.

 ‘A Star is Born’

         Okay, so maybe not ALL of these are smaller projects that haven’t received a lot of media attention. But whatever – the deal with this movie is that Bradley Cooper decided to direct the latest in what has apparently been a long line of remakes and adaptations of the 1937 movie A Star is Born. Cooper plays a popular male singer who discovers a young woman with a talent for singing, played by Lady Gaga, who he wants to introduce to the world and drama ensues as they start a relationship and her fame keeps growing. I have no familiarity with the original or any of the other three remakes listed on Wikipedia, so take that for whatever it’s worth when I say I’m glad I saw this film.

         The 2018 A Star is Born seems to be made with the knowledge that the audience has likely heard this song before. Even if you’re like me and you haven’t seen any of the four previous versions of this film, the rise-to-stardom story is so well-established that it’s a safe bet that you’ll recognise many of the typical story beats of this kind of film. You see the future star’s humble origins, their soaring debut, their optimism for their bright future, them getting signed on for a record label and a soulless manager character entering the picture, their image having to be changed as they get pushed further into the public eye, someone close to them criticising them because they believe the star has lost their way, one of the characters taking a bad turn as it starts to feel like the star has lost all control of their life, and so on. It’s a story we know, but A Star is Born appears to be conscious of this fact. Towards the end of the film, there’s a conversation where a character reflects on how the same notes are repeated over and over between different songs. The character remarks that it’s in the different ways that people see those notes and interpret them through their music that new experiences are created.

         And I think that’s what this film does. The story may be similar to half a dozen other examples, but the execution is what engages. There’s a naturalistic direction to the film that you can see through the way characters talk over each other as they conduct their conversations, or the slight documentary-style to the cinematography, or the minimal use of non-diegetic music which makes the soundtrack seem as if it’s coming from the characters themselves as they sing and play throughout the story. This increases the sense of impact to some of the events within the story because the film is selling you on the impression that what you’re seeing is really happening. On top of that, Lady Gaga’s experience as a professional singer not only enables her to sing well throughout the film, but it also helps her to convey the emotions and thought processes being experienced by her character as she sings. She’s able to deliver a dramatic performance alongside her musical performance, and that’s compelling to watch.

         The 2018 version of A Star is Born is not telling a new story, but it manages to tell a familiar narrative in a way that manages to be distinctive and emotionally affecting. If any of the people involved make the film of interest to you, or if the mood takes you and you want to experience a decent version of this sort of rising-star story, then this version of A Star is Born is a decent pick. Now I just have to watch Bohemian Rhapsody and see if the other film about musical celebrities currently out in cinemas does as good a job at hitting its marks.

Final Score: Bronze / Silver

 ‘Castlevania’ Season 2

         Castlevania is one of those franchises that, on first inspection, appears to have a complicated history with dozens of instalments all coming together to form this grand tapestry telling the story of the war between Dracula, destined to reincarnate every 100 years, and the Belmonts, a family of vampire hunters that have dedicated their entire lineage to keeping Dracula and his forces of darkness at bay. And for fans who want to read into it, that expansive timeline is absolutely there, but on a very simple level, every Castlevania game more or less tells the same story. Dracula shows up along with his huge labyrinthine castle, and someone with a whip and a bunch of vampire-hunting equipment rocks up to kick him back into his coffin. Sometimes there are other characters along for the ride to make it slightly more complicated, but that’s the general gist. Also, there’s always some excellent music accompanying the proceedings.

         The first season of the Netflix animated series Castlevania adapted the story of the third game in the series. As it was only four 20-minute episodes, the first season is barely longer than a feature-length movie, and just as it finds its purpose and you feel like you’re getting into it, it ends. It wasn’t anything more than a semi-decent series, but I felt like there was potential when I watched it last year. The animation during the scenes where characters are simply talking to one another was stiff and you’d only see characters shift in place after a sentence or two, rather than exhibit more natural, flowing movement from moment-to-moment. But the action scenes were clearly where the animation budget went, as fights were creative and choreographed with a satisfying flair which showcased the animator’s passion for the source material. Performances were suitably brooding and at the right level between genuine human levels of emotion and melodramatic excessiveness, which is fitting for something Gothic and cheesy like this. At times the excessive gore and general revelling in shock-factor violence grated on me, and none of the characters really captured my interest or felt like I could get behind them until the second half of the last episode.

         Now Season 2 of Castlevania doesn’t fix all of my issues with the previous season, but I am very happy with some of the progress I’ve seen so far. I haven’t finished the season yet, as I’m six episodes in and have two left before I’m done, but I’ve seen enough to say that the extra time has benefitted the writers, allowing them to take the time to further explore characters and focus on conversations and interactions between the different members of the cast. The result is a more satisfying and complete-feeling season.

         Apart from that, my thoughts are more or less the same as the first season. I like their presentation of the series’ established Gothic aesthetic through the impressive backgrounds and character design. I enjoy seeing characters and references from the games and think the showrunners are doing a great job at translating the tone of the games to an ongoing TV series. The excessive gore is a little much at times, and not because I can’t handle it, but because it feels inelegant and unnecessary when they’re already doing such a good job at establishing a Gothic atmosphere. I am enjoying the characters more, even though the attempts at humour feel a little awkward (though I think that’s part of the intentional style of the series, so take that for what it’s worth). All in all, a solid series that has gotten better since last year, but still has several areas in which it could improve. If you enjoy the original games or are a fan of cheesy Gothic fantasy, then give it a watch.

Final Score: Copper / Bronze

 ‘The Autopsy of Jane Doe’

         Watching this 2016 horror movie from André Øvredal, the director of Trollhunter, was how I spent Halloween this year, and it was a night well spent. A father-son pair of coroners are given an unidentified body of a woman that was found on a crime scene and are tasked with finding a cause-of-death by morning so that the local sheriff can give a full statement on the matter. As they proceed with the autopsy, they find more and more things which don’t add up. There are signs of things happening to the body which don’t make scientific sense when you consider the body’s appearance, and to top it off, there’s an uneasy atmosphere around the office as things just don’t feel right. And from there, I’ll keep you in the dark, as one of the most enjoyable elements to watching this film for the first time is trying to work out what’s going on alongside the two main characters as they dig further into this mystery.

         The Autopsy of Jane Doe got under my skin because it taps into the uneasiness you often feel when you’re stuck in an office or medical building late at night and you’re one of the only people remaining. It makes effective use of space to create a suffocating feeling to the autopsy room and the one or two other spaces our characters find themselves in as the film goes on. The use of the right-angled corridor to create suspense as you fear what might come around the corner is commendable. Both of the two main actors, Brian Cox as the father and Emile Hirsch as the son, work well in their roles, selling you on their close, familial relationship as well as the fact that they are professional coroners, so they know what to do and how to handle their nerves around a dead body, but they’re also human enough to get a little uneasy when things start looking weird.

         As I touched on earlier, I was really drawn in by the set-up to The Autopsy of Jane Doe, fascinated to learn more as conflicting pieces of information are revealed to both the characters and the audience. It’s an exciting sensation that I think is unique to horror; it’s the human urge to find out more even when all signs are telling you that you should stop delving into this unsettling area. You have to know the truth and understand what’s going on, even when it takes you to deadly territory. It’s such a recurring feeling that I experience when watching horror, as well as see in the motivations of the characters within horror narratives, that I consider the horror and mystery genres to be close relatives. The Autopsy of Jane Doe is dripping with that sense of horrific mystery as it centres on an autopsy, a procedure that is done when you want to find out the truth behind something but is also inherently unsettling as you are staring face-to-face at death, in all its detail.

         This horror movie has a great premise which is executed with impressive technical ability by its actors, cinematographer, and director (even if it leans on the jump-scare tactic a little too much). For those who like their horror with an air of mystery, then this is a hard recommend.

Final Score: Silver

[goblinlipgloss]

The Bestiary: Strix, Gelloudes, and Strigoi

Settle in, cause this is going to be a long post. We've got a lot to cover here, and it's going to take us from ancient Greece to Romania to early Biblical scholars. Since these creatures are all so related, we just couldn’t justify splitting them into three different posts!

Strix

The strix, a “bird of ill omen” was closely tied to witches and malevolent beings, but whether or not that’s because it was a malevolent being or the familiar of one depends on who you ask. Ovid, Antonius, Pliny the Elder, and even my girl Sappho were just a few to write on the strix, so it’s understandable that the mythology got a bit muddled.

The really early mythology, recorded by Antonius Liberalis, gets confusing. The first strix was Polyphonte, who got on Aphrodite’s bad side and was cursed to lust after a bear. (Look. I don’t know, either. Aphrodite was mean.) From this… er, union… twins were born. They were hulking men who just happened to be cannibals. Zeus, in a strange moment of clarity, decides he doesn’t like them, and sends another god to go and punish them for snacking on innocent travellers. The god sent, Hermes, was going to kill them, but Ares stepped in--the bear men were his great grandchildren, and, well, this is Ares we’re talking about, of course he’d defend cannibals.

Anyway.

Hermes decided that instead of punishing only the twins, he’d take the whole family down with them. He transformed the twins and their mother into birds. Polyphonte got turned into a small owl, which neither ate nor drank normal food. Instead, she spent all that extra free time crying into the dark of the night, which was seen as an ill omen for mankind.

And so Polyphonte was the first strix--or at least, the first recorded usage of the word I could find. She herself has nothing to do with the Labyrinth, so let’s move on.

In Petronius’s Satyricon (1 AD) and Ovid’s Fasti (8 AD), the strix get a little more bloodthirsty. Petronius details the story of the strix (or striges--the words are pretty much interchangeable) carrying away the body of a dead boy after they substituted it with a straw doll. Why a straw doll? I don’t really know--the Satyricon is incomplete, but it sure sounds like something adjacent to a changeling to me.

Ovid described the strix as large-headed birds with grey-white wings and hooked claws, but says himself that he doesn’t know if they were born or transformed by a curse. They were also said to harm or eat humans, infants specifically. He also discusses a more concrete account of a strix attack, in which they attacked Procas in his cradle. The attack was unsuccessful--their screaming alerted a servant, who helped drive them away. It did, however leave him with scars all over his cheeks. Ovid and Petronius both spend a lot of time telling us how evil the strix are, specifically that they’re so evil they specifically attack infants. Pliny the Elder went to far as to suggest that even just saying their name worked as a curse.

...And then you have Horace, who claims that their feathers were used in love potions, so there’s that. Maybe he was an optimist.

But the strix were apparently so evil that medieval sources talked about them too. There’s not much going on here that we haven’t discussed already or that doesn’t get mixed in with Christianity, so I’ll gloss over it a lot. What is important is that John of Damascus equated them with the gelloudes.

Gelloudes

The problem with the gello (singular of gelloudes) is that they already existed in the Greek mythos, and they definitely weren’t the strix. I’m including them here because they were similar and, as we can see, were later conflated with the strix.

The Greeks said that the gelloudes were female demons or revenants. I’m not quite sure if there’s much of a difference in those terms in context, considering this is before the Judeo-Christian concept of a demon.

The gelloudes were notable for killing or abducting newborn babies and virgins--what they did with their abductees, I don’t know. Probably ate them, all things considered. A gello was the “feared bane of children” as far back as 6 BC. By the Byzantine era (~250 AD) they were a class of beings unto themselves, and no longer just female--meaning there could be a male gello, oven if it was considered uncommon.

A gello in both cultures would be blamed for the death of a newborn infant, something we today would attribute to SIDS or other childhood illnesses. These gello-stricken children were known as gillobrota.

Strigoi

The gelloudes were also still discussed in the medieval period and beyond. Later Biblical scholars would discuss their similarities to the strigoi. And speaking of the strigoi…

A strigoi is your OG vampire. Think Nosferatu or Dracula--in fact, the strigoi was one of the inspirations behind Stoker’s Dracula. They were either spirits of the dead rising from their grave or living people with magical properties who just so happened to need to eat other living people. The strigoi were noted to be able to transform themselves into animals (not just bats), be invisible, and drain the vitality from the living through blood loss. Folklorist Wilhelm Schmidt (1865) wrote that the strigoi plagued infants especially, and after the birth of a child, one was to throw a stone over one’s shoulder and say “this into the mouth of the strigoi.” An Authenticated Vampire Story by Franz Hartmann (1909) noted that strigoi were meant to be active in a village in the Carpathian mountains, where they went specifically after children.

So, why Labyrinth?

Well, we've got a creature that through its history has been known to shapeshift--or just generally be an owl--and is known for attacking infants. In the stories, the strix is known to have gone after male infants specifically.

The word strix and the owls themselves are known for their screaming or keening noises, which you can turn into singing, if you feel like it.

I mentioned in a previous post that I think Jareth is a little vampiric, and that explains why I think a strix/strigoi might make a decent fit in Labyrinth lore. Do I think he's going to chow down on Sarah or Toby? No, not particularly. But I do happen to think that in some way he's feeding off of them, or humanity in general. It might not be blood, or flesh, but there are compelling arguments to be made that he's feeding off of Sarah's dreams or imagination. It is because of this that more vampire-adjacent creatures will likely appear in future Bestiary entries.

All of these creatures are heavily tied to magic. Also of note to me is how enduring this creature seems to have been. There are more creatures that I had neither the time nor the space to write about, but I'll mention them below. The creature is very, very old and known to shift over time, so why not bend it a bit to your writing needs?

Further Notes:

Here are some odds and ends that I couldn't fit into the main post but might help you if you decide to use the strix, gello, or strigoi in any future works.

According to Dimitrie Cantemir and Teodor Burada, an encyclopedist and a folklorist in 1882, a person could be born a strigoi under the following conditions: The could be the seventh child of the same gender within a family; be cursed by a witch; die without being married; be executed for perjury; die of suicide; live a life of sin.

"a striga" is the Romanian infinitive for "to scream", which is derived from the Latin "strix" and "striga", the root of which pertains to both owls and blood parasites or diseases.

"Strega" of Italian origin, and "striga" of Venetian origin: both mean "witch."

"Stryge" is a bird-woman who sucks children's blood in French folklore.

Creatures related to the strigoi are the strzyga, a female demon in Slavic (particularly Polish) folklore, the shtriga, a vampiric witch in Albanian folklore, and the shtrigu, her male counterpart.