#almost spaced posting her here
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More Deepdive, my TFoc!
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joking around was fun but now I did a ~final of Esther‘s design xp
she‘s a supposed Aim (post dark cream) x Axel (errorink) kid made out of the magic of headcanons and inside jokes (/j)
Aim is by @zu-is-here / Axel is by @ari-cuno
anyway I went and had some more fun with her
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alsoo this
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#my artsies#and so the religious saga continues /hj#i‘ll be honest. the more detailed version was „scrapped“ xp (maybe one day I‘ll post that one)#i left quite a few details in this one actually .i dont know what to do with them xd#everyone loves actually writing onto their posts but Im here in the tags. they are comfortable!#i guess here comes gen 3 of the Sanses!!! (this was much more of a partial joke-kid so i dont have 100% of her figured out but i do-#have a little)#hmm… thats not quite right though#i should really start actually drawing/at least writing down their story 💀#adult!aim#axel#aim x axel#<-meant queerplatonically#almost. almost tagged the wrong thing#esther#utmv#what if I called them „axe em“ as shipname. no no sorry i was joking ofc. ….. 🤭#apparently throwing (aiming) with axes (axel with a letter difference) is called a „match“…………:3#anyways! dont care how much space there is Im Not writing the lore down#all im gonna say? shes not with her parents (atm)#if i got tags wrong uhhhhhh throw me into a river#Okay. Alright. Thanks clowny for that last bit of inspo LMAO. Maybe she will be a robot /j
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I was laying in bed overthinking, as you do, and started to go on a depressive doom spiral. And then, to distract myself I started thinking about the things I like.
[Spoilers and some gross details incoming, you know what Mouthwashing is about]
So, eventually I started thinking about Curly being in a similar headspace as I was, laying down, incapable of doing anything, constantly in pain and hearing time and time again how quickly things are going to shit and that it's all your fault.
Him replaying his mistakes over and over on his head, imagining the many ways things could've gone a different way if only he had done something instead of ignoring the issues to "keep the peace".
Remembering every interaction that led to the accident, Anya's confession, his friends poorly disguised resentment, him ignoring and filtering details of his crew's mental state, her taking the gun, the notice, Jimmy.
Him being a coward and disguising his hate of confrontation with the guise of being a good friend.
And then comming back to reality, to is burning flesh. To the blood, shit and bile staining the bandages, robe and bed, to watching and hearing his friends suffer and die, unable to do anything.
When the kid dies, in the midst of all the emotional chaos, he feels some sick sense of relief knowing that probably Swansea will deal with both of them quickly and it'll be over at last.
Then Jimmy finds the gun.
And he can't help but laugh. He remembers the conversation they had and he cackles bitterly because not even in death can her wishes be respected. She trusted him and he failed her even after she was gone.
Soon enough it's just the two of them left.
Through muffled ears he hears Jimmy rambling, talking to himself, asking questions and answering right after, he sees him moving the bodies around. When Jimmy carries him from the infirmary to the common room table he's still as stone, not a sound leaves his mouth, he doesn't look at the bodies thrown on the chairs around the table, he doesn't even breathe.
But all of Jimmy's attention, hatred, idolatry, and envy are on him only. Eyes glossy, cut pieces of a one sided conversation and a tentative smile on his lips when he reaches for the slightly dented knife.
He screams until his lungs close and his throat burns. When he's fed parts of himself he cries and throws up until he is forced to swallow and keep it down.
He's dehidrated, half delirious from the blood loss and emotionally checked out when Jimmy picks him up and tells him they can still fix this, he knows what to do. That he's going home.
Sure, he thinks, he wants to go home.
When he's placed on the cryopod he just stares at Jimmy talk to himself at him some more, about being heroes and everything being all right now. Then he steps out of sight.
It's on the silence after the loud bang when his brain starts working again, he's completely and utterly alone on a crashed ship of a company that's closing it's doors, with a now depleted shipment that wasn't even important enough to guarantee a search party, and no way of fending for himself in the case of 20 years passing and no one coming, even less if the power gave out before that.
As the cryopod finally starts to cool, the few tears he has left fall from his remaining eye.
He hopes he doesn't wake up to see what happens next.
..ok see y'all when I wake up-
#I wish I was better at talking about the themes of the game and characterizing the crew. There's so much I wanna say-#I want to play the game again just to see if I missed anything in here but it's almost 6 am and my brain is shutting down#I would blame stress and insomnia on this but I legit think about this when I come across the tag again#I want to talk about his guilt of wishing he never helped jimmy get the job. how he wished he died first. how his crew didn't deserve it-#and *if* he makes it out. the surviors guilt. the trauma and the pain it would still chase him for the rest of his life#damn. in any sueing case the company could use him being traumatized and vulnerable to make him agree that it was all his fault-#I swear the rest of the time I imagine a what if AU where Jimmy gets yeeted into space by Swansea and they all live happily ever after#this is basically a fic at this point and I'm so sorry but I wrote too much to delete it all now in a state of post revision clarity lmao#me being a dumbass#mouthwashing#tw death#Ideally Anya would be the one throwing him into space. And Swansea would help her bc honestly fuck Jimmy#Curly would be held at arms length until they've gone back home. only left there to pilot them back safely#long ass post#long ass tags
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late night train of thought comic abt the point in heavensward where kiril makes a decision that would later be described as “very bad”
#geese art#ocs#oc: kiriltugh#oc: yesui#he’s clocking out. yesui’s body now#god i’m like nooo i don’t change too much of canon :) i just play in the space….#THATS SUCH A LIE?!#kiril gets possessed and almost none of post-hw is the same#when big hog#oh my god. i’m not fixing it that’s his name#when big hog fucks off with HIS possessed hero yesui goes after him bc of her like. lingering bloodlust-driven delirium#that’s when kiril falls off azyz lla. because notably one of them can fly and it’s not kiril#actually side note. its been so long does that boss even happen in azyz i dont. remeb e#poor alphinaud. poor aymeric. nobody is winning here#don’t worry about baelsar’s wall he gets through that on pure adrenaline and Blessing and THEN he passes out for another month#(partially joking)
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Im tempted to make a sideblog for solely plural related shenanigans im ngl...
#Fire has her own blog but like thats HER space not all of our spaces ygm?#moreso for all those lil doodle comics i make maybe?#def nervous tho since im undiagnosed still i dont really know which 'space' i would fit into#like im almost certain i have SOME dissociative disorder or SOMETHING causing the frequency and intensity of my symptoms#and im really trying to avoid self dx-ing so like i dont wanna be like 'i probably have OSDD!' if that ends up Being Wrong#and ive heard syscourse is bad in plural-centric spaces and i dont wanna deal with thaaaat#but idk having a pluralblr sounds fun...#bc i get really shy posting system related stuff on main sometimes...#like hey heres a fanart of cutman! hey heres a doodle of my headmate! dw about how they look identical haha nothing to see here!#im ramblingggg i dont know 😖
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My sister is talking about maybe starting to use tumblr again if/when the tiktok ban happens next week, and like...I realllllly don't want her to. I was really enjoying having an online space that was mostly just mine
#i soft blocked her a while back so she's not technically following me anymore#but if she starts actively using tumblr again on the reg it's only a matter of time before she notices and re-follows#there were lots of reasons I stopped using tiktok but one of them was that she would send me LITERALLY 50-100 videos every SINGLE day#I'm not exaggerating for effect it was literally always at least 50 and sometimes it'd be 99+ (aka when the notifications stop counting)#I would be on tiktok for 2 or 3 hours every day and spend almost all of that time JUST getting through all the videos she sent me#but also just like...this is my space. I want to be able to vent about her here if I need to#I also just like...am more open with y'all/post more personal stuff here than I would if there was a chance of her seeing it#especially stuff about gender/sexuality like. as far as my family knows im 100% cishet & allo#ughhhh#beth posts
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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who is your favorite iteration of the doctor to be shipped with river?
I thought a lot about my answer to this, and unfortunately I am going to give the BIGGEST cop-out of a response and say that I can't actually choose between Eleven and Twelve 😭😭
Just for the sake of having an answer, I'll say Twelve, just because he's my favorite Doctor. (And as much as I love it when characters are so broken up about losing people they love that they can't even talk about it--i.e. series 7 Eleven--I do very much appreciate the fact that we got to see Twelve actually consistently grieve onscreen. Also don't TALK to me about how the specific type of goodness he was able to successfully impart to Missy-about helping someone even when there's little to no chance of it succeeding, of getting anything good out of it for yourself, or of the other person ever knowing about it-CAME DIRECTLY FROM RIVER.)
But I really don't have like. A Specific Preference. I skew more toward the Doctors we've seen River interact with onscreen (and specifically during the Moffat Era because as everyone knows it's my favorite, lol), but I've really liked the fic I've read of her with Eight, and some of the stuff in the supplementary materials has gotten me to come around on her with Ten as well (I am notably not a Particularly Huge Fan of Ten). And I also even wrote a story once about her and Thirteen (that I then orphaned later for very stupid reasons). (It's here, if anyone's interested.)
All this being said, I wouldn't have fallen in love with this ship as much as I have if Eleven/River didn't exist. Twelve/River sees them both finally on the same page, and the whole "HE WOULDN'T BE IN LOVE ENOUGH TO BE STANDING [IN DANGER] WITH ME (*has actually been in the middle of said danger the entire time because he is in love enough*) was...look, that CHANGED MY BRAIN. PERMANENTLY. But I don't think people appreciate how truly DERANGED Eleven and River are.
She insults him/makes him look stupid and he just goes like this -> 😍. He starts accepting his interest in her WHEN HE LEARNS SHE'S IN PRISON FOR MURDER (probably for murdering him). They get so caught up in flirting (over River being A Scary Person specifically) that they completely forget that their best friend/family member is in the room with them and also in extreme danger. She expresses her affection by shooting his ridiculous hats off of his head. "Are you married/are you asking/yes." (*cue the most charmed expression on his face to ever exist*) "It's a shame you were busy that day" (<-because she had POISONED HIM AND HE WAS DYING). "And unlike me, she really doesn't mind shooting people, I shouldn't like that, kind of do a bit." "You graffiti-ed the oldest cliff face in the universe!"/"Well you wOuLdN't aNsWeR yOuR pHoNe." "You've got that face on again"/"What face?"/"The 'he's hot when he's clever' face"/"This is my normal face"/"Yes it is." "I do NOT sneak out at night to parties with RIVER SONG"/"How is she?"/"Fine. 😊"
His response to someone bringing her up and mentioning that she tried to kill him is "totally married her XD." She confessed her love to him via "getting the whole universe to mention how much they need him and agreed to marry him and he's still like, "Oh, gotta go check my fucking hair before I say hello to her again" in TATM. (Fun fact, the "Sorry honey, traffic was hell" line was originally, "Traffic was a bitch" which would have been the like. Highest-level curse word we've ever seen this man say, and it would have been in the context of trying to cleverly greet River which AGAIN, DERANGED BEHAVIOR.)
Fixed point that would destroy the universe if it were messed with? Too bad! Not if she thinks she has to kill him! "I'LL SUFFER IF I HAVE TO KILL YOU, MORE THAN EVERY LIVING THING IN THE UNIVERSE" OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD. (<-Worth noting that he calls her out over this for all of about two minutes before deciding the best way out of the situation is having an impromptu wedding.) She tells him TO HIS FACE "When I was little, I wanted to marry you" and then ALMOST INTENTIONALLY PERMANENTLY KILLS HIM LIKE TWO MINUTES LATER. He's dying on the floor in Berlin and still has the energy to go absolutely FERAL over the idea of someone hurting her. In the series 7 finale, she isn't even tangible and only exists through a conduit in Clara's head and he goes, "Too bad! I can hold you and kiss you and talk with you because I miss you, screw the actual laws of physics." (And then he's like, "Hmm, I probably look stupid right now. Oh well, back to talking to my wife, who I refused to say goodbye to for God Knows How Long because I would have been too sad.")
HE FALLS FOR HER POISONING GAMBIT BECAUSE HE'S HAVING TOO MUCH FUN FLIRTING WITH HER.
DUDE.
(Like, Twelve is also Deranged™ about her too, as evidenced by responding to her threat of cutting out his organs in alphabetical order with, "Which alphabet" and being jealous at the MOST inopportune times and, while in the middle of them fighting over who gets to risk sacrificing themselves, saying, "NOT ONE LIVING THING IS WORTH YOU" which is. Sure a line!!! That sure lives in my head rent-free!!!!! Also they have a Bonding Moment™ about carrying a severed head around in a bag. But the absolute INSANITY that goes on between River and Eleven is. Incredible.)
.........uhhhhh this. This got away from me. I also didn't really answer your question. Sorry? (<-Not actually sorry.)
#doctor x river#your daily DERANGED posting about this ship courtesy of me enjoy#multi t(ASK)ing#mel screams about The Weird Little Space Show again#otp: you are always here to me#LITERALLY every single thing I look for in fiction can be traced back to these two I genuinely DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND#REMEMBER WHEN SHE CHANGES HER WHOLE LIFE IN LIKE 5 MINUTES BECAUSE SHE REALIZED THAT THE PERSON HE AND HER PARENTS WERE SO FOND OF#WAS /HER/???? EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ACTING JUST. THE FARTHEST FROM A GOOD PERSON WE'VE EVER SEEN HER ACT??? EVEN THOUGH SHE ALMOST#/INTENTIONALLY KILLED HIM/ BUT THEY STILL ALL CARED SO MAYBE THAT MEANS SHE MATTERS??!?!?? REMEMBER THAT?!?!?!?!?!????!?!!!!!!!!#okay I'm normal now I promise (<-absolute lie. biggest lie in the universe.)
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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there was a post on i don't remember where at this point rddt about idols doing grossdisgusting things and it was all shit like "there was footage of X scratching his ass!", or "sooo many times X took a bite/sip of something and then Y drank/ate the rest", or "X's dog licked her mouth/licked into her mouth!", or such stuff, with everyone doing their best to convey just how disgusted they were, full on gagging and heaving, not to mention the charming "it just proves that even your faves are still men, and men will do the most disgusting shit without batting an eye, women aren't like that", and it's like oh boy, i've got bad news to you about the human condition
#PEOPLE... ARE NOT ALWAYS... TV SHOW SQUEAKY CLEAN...#idk maybe that thread was just a gathering of mysophobes and i wasn't aware but idols... live together in very small spaces#they're probably seen each other sick or puking they've Been There when one of them had explosive diarrhea#if you wanna put your shipping goggles on they probably even helped each other get off. what's a wee bit of spit between bros (gn)#(this is going to be hilarious when i post the fic)#like is it gross when someone takes a swig outta the bottle -> spits it back in -> someone else drinks it without knowing? YEAH#but theeeee level of disgust was almost performative. are you good my guys#shrimp thoughts#one person was like 'i work as a veterinarian and it TERRIFIES me how this one idol was basically making out with her dog!'#yeah so this might be difficult but i don't think she's the gross one here.
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Ngl man..this made me snort laughing
#random post#suggestive#GOD. GO D D#I’ve been awake since like. idkk#I first woke up at 4 am and idk how much sleep I got between then and when I woke up again at like 6:20#ahmm. so I’ve been awake sincee.... for like. how math and numbers#17 hours. AND I had a test today AND also tmi but I’m bleeding AND my birthday on monday#oh wait fuck my. toast. has just been sitting here omg. my bread#and my essay...welp#I’ll just. do that. tomorrow#I can’t. I can’t pull another ‘stay up till almost 5 in the morning to turn in essay due 5 hours earlier’#anyways I’m getting off track. my point was that I’m SOO fucked rn that THIS old drawing is what cracked me up#mhm hmhm ymt. shirley...my belovbed I don’t draw or talk about nearly enough#but I think about her exclusively when I’m in the shower (his voiceclaim songs are the ones I listen to in shower lmao)#they keep me. on track 👌 prevent me from 🙃 getting lost in shower thoughts 😤#and not realizing I’ve been standing under the shower head for forty minutes just staring into space#I’m getting off track again but anyways uh. yea
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❀ DEFINITELY NOT MY CROWD.
pairing. frat!jungwon x shy!fem!reader
genre. romcom, american college au, strangers to enemies to lovers (bye??), angst, fluff, mature
synopsis. when your friend drags you out to a frat party a week before the holidays, you didn’t expect to fall into the graces of yang jungwon, one of the fraternity boys at your university. One accidental kiss with Yang Jungwon and a viral post later, you wake up to a text from your sister: “Bring your new boyfriend to Christmas dinner!” Now, you’ve got one week to turn this chaos into a holiday miracle—or a romcom disaster.
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“Hey, wake up.”
Madeleine taps on your shoulder, and when you only respond with a mhmm, she takes both shoulders and shakes you violently.
“What the hell Mads!” You say, getting up in a hurry. “What can you possibly need now?”
“Oh shut up, you’re making it sound like you despise me.” She throws an arm around your shoulder. “Will you come with me to Luca’s party?”
“You know I don’t do frat parties.” You say, already brushing off her suggestion. “They’re just loud and people make out in every corner.”
“But you never go out!” Madeleine slumps her body against yours, practically trapping you on your own bed. “Please.”
“Mads I love you, but no.”
Except here you were, in front of Alpha Delta something—was it Alpha Delta Pi? You didn’t know.
All you knew was that the music was way too loud for it not to have a noise complaint from the neighboring houses, and that there were too many drunk college students stumbling everywhere on the grass out front.
“I’m soooo glad we decided to do this!” Madeleine swings her arms around your shoulder, leading you inside the gigantic frat house.
“Madeleine!” A guy comes up to the two of you, his cheeky smile never leaving his face. “And who’s this?”
“Y/N, my roommate I told you about!” Madeleine smiles at you, “you remember Will right? From Econ?”
Will. Will. You’re trying so hard to remember him, until you realize he’s the blonde in front of you, his hockey gear always taking up half of the space.
“This is my girlfriend, Kallie!” Will puts his arm around the girl next to him. “Well it’s nice seeing you Madeleine and Y/N, have a good night!”
Even though he was notoriously loud in class, he was a bit of a sweetheart, and it made you feel a bit better about being here.
“See, that wasn’t so bad right?”
You nod, letting her guide you throughout the house to the kitchen.
“Do you want Pink Whitney or Tequila?”
You decided on Pink Whitney.
“Oh shit—I’m so sorry.” The guy who bumps into you turns around, his pupils dilated and red. He’s clearly very drunk.
“It’s fine.��
“I’m Jungwon!” He smiles at you brightly, dimples showing ever so proudly.
It seemed like everybody at this party was all about smiling tonight.
“Oh Won! You’re here!” Madeleine slides you your shot, and you down it in one go, silently cursing yourself for not taking a chaser beforehand.
“Yep, kinda have to because this is my frat.”
Now that he’s not stumbling over his own foot, you come to realize he’s actually pretty cute. His brown hair is messy and he’s wearing some plain navy blue hoodie that makes him look more attractive than he actually should be.
“This is Y/N, my roommate!”
Jungwon slips his hand into yours, shaking it in a hurry. “Nice to meet you Y/N, wish it was under better circumstances.”
His joke earns a playful shove from Madeleine, who raises her eyebrows at you, already hinting that you should talk to the boy.
“Well I gotta go talk to Luca, catch you two later!”
You don’t have time to pull Madeleine back because she’s already gone, leaving you alone with Jungwon.
“Hey.” He says, now suddenly closer to you. “Wanna kiss?”
It’s a straightforward almost humorous ask, one that a stranger who’s just known you for five minutes shouldn’t ask. But because the alcohol already entered your system and you have nothing better to do; you nod.
Jungwon leaves no time for you to take a breath before sweeping in, closing the gap between yours and his mouth. You can hear hoots from his frat brothers as the kiss grows more intense.
You’re sure you’ve become the very same people that you used to make fun of—the ones who would make out at the corner of parties and act like they had no decency or self respect.
But who cares, right? This was the one time you were out, and finals had been stressing you like a pounding headache, why would a kiss from some random frat guy affect you after the party?
You were clearly very wrong.
-
The next day, you’re awaken to your annoying alarm clock, groaning as you tap aggressively on the snooze button.
“Oh shit,” you say, feeling lightheaded when you try to get up. “What time is it?”
From the corner of your eye, you can see Madeleine’s blonde hair spread out on every part of her bed, her limbs tangled in her blankets.
You try to rub your eyes as you reach for your phone, and when your vision clears, the first thing you do is let out a shrilling scream.
“WHAT THE FUCK?”
“What? What’s wrong?” Madeleine’s head pops up, her hair messy and all over her face.
Madeleine stares at you groggily as you toss your phone at her. She fumbles to catch it, squinting at the screen before her eyes widen.
She slaps a hand over her mouth, though the giggles that escape are anything but subtle.
"Why is there a video of me kissing Jungwon everywhere?!" You groan, flopping back on your bed as the stress headache from finals makes a sudden comeback.
"It's not just a video," Madeleine says, scrolling furiously. "You and Jungwon are, like, the new talk of the frat. You know how frat boys are like. The sorority girls might even be jealous."
"I'm going to die," you mutter into your pillow.
"You are not going to die, Y/N."
You groan, yanking the pillow off your face just as your phone vibrates again. Madeleine hands it back to you, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
You don't even have to check the screen to know who's texted you. You sigh and unlock it.
[annoying older sis]: Bring your new boyfriend to Christmas dinner. I’m serious. Mom’s already setting the table for him.
You sit up so fast you almost get whiplash.
"No. Nope. No way. This cannot be happening." You turn to Madeleine, holding your phone out like it’s cursed. "My family thinks Jungwon’s my boyfriend. What am I supposed to do now?!"
"Bring him!" Madeleine chirps, far too enthusiastic for this godforsaken situation.
"Are you insane? I barely know him! He’s probably already forgotten who I am."
As if the universe is mocking you, your phone buzzes again.
[Unknown Number]: Hey, it’s Jungwon. Can we talk?
You stare at the screen, heat rushing to your face.
"Is that him?" Madeleine practically screeches, leaning over to read the text. "Oh my god, Y/N, he’s texting you first. This is fate!"
"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing her away as you type back:
Sure. Where?
The response is almost instant.
[Jungwon]: Can you meet me at the campus café in an hour?
Madeleine screeches in excitement yet again.
-
An hour later, you’re already regretting your life choices as you walk into the café, spotting Jungwon sitting at a table near the window. His hoodie from last night is gone, replaced with a clean black sweater that somehow makes him look even more attractive.
When he sees you, he grins, those stupid dimples making your stomach flip for reasons you refuse to acknowledge.
"Hey," he says as you sit down across from him, awkwardly tucking your hair behind your ear.
"Hey," you reply, wondering if it’s possible to combust from secondhand embarrassment.
"So, uh…" Jungwon rubs the back of his neck, looking almost as nervous as you feel. "About last night…"
You brace yourself for him to tell you he doesn’t want anything to do with you, that the kiss was a mistake, and you should forget it ever happened.
But then he says: "I wanted to apologize. I don’t usually, like, kiss random strangers at parties. I was kinda drunk, and I just… yeah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
You blink, caught off guard by how genuine he sounds. "Oh, um, it’s okay. I mean, it wasn’t terrible or anything."
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, his lips twitching like he’s trying not to laugh. "Wow. 'Not terrible.' High praise."
You groan, covering your face with your hands. "Sorry. I’m awkward and shy and bad at this."
"I noticed," he says with a chuckle.
When you peek through your fingers, you find him smiling softly at you, his eyes warm and kind.
"Anyway," you say quickly, dropping your hands. "I’m sure you’ve seen the video by now."
"Yeah," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck again. "That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you. People are, uh, kinda freaking out about it. And my fraternity brothers keep calling you my girlfriend."
"Funny you should mention that," you say with a dry laugh. "My family thinks you’re my boyfriend too. My sister wants me to bring you to Christmas dinner."
His eyes widen. "Wait, seriously?"
"Yeah. And I don’t know how to tell them the truth without ruining Christmas, so I was thinking…"
"You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?" he finishes, tilting his head.
"Just for a week!" you say quickly, holding up your hands. "We get through Christmas, and then we go our separate ways. No one has to know it wasn’t real."
Jungwon looks at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
Finally, he says, "Okay. I’ll do it."
You blink. "Wait, really?"
"Sure," he says with a shrug. "It sounds kinda fun. And honestly…" He leans forward, his voice dropping to a soft, almost teasing tone. "I need to get out of my frat house. They have yet to let me live down this moment."
Your face flushes, and you look away, muttering, "Frat guys are ridiculous."
"Maybe," he says, grinning.
This was going to be a disaster. You could already feel it.
-
The rest of the week feels like a blur of planning. Between texting Jungwon to coordinate your "backstory" and surviving Madeleine’s endless teasing, you barely have time to process what’s happening.
"How do we even explain how we met?" you ask Jungwon during one of your brainstorming sessions at the campus library.
"We could just tell the truth," he says, leaning back in his chair. "That we kissed at a party."
You give him a look. "Do you want my family to hate you?"
"Fair point," he laughs. "Okay, how about we say we met through Madeleine and just… hit it off?"
"Sounds fake but okay."
You decide to meet again the next day after class to properly establish some backstory for your "relationship." Jungwon shows up late, looking like he just rolled out of bed.
"Nice of you to show up," you say sarcastically, already in a foul mood from a pop quiz from your professor.
"Sorry, I was busy," he says, completely unbothered.
"Doing what? Beer pong practice?"
"Actually, yes," he says, grinning. "Gotta keep the skills sharp."
You groan. "Unbelievable. How am I supposed to convince my family you’re my boyfriend when you’re this… this frat boy?"
"Hey, being a frat boy isn’t a personality flaw," he says, feigning offense. "Besides, you’re the one who dragged me into this. If you wanted someone polished, you should’ve asked that guy from your bio class—what’s his name? Eric?"
"First of all, Eric has a girlfriend," you retort. "Second, I didn’t drag you into this. Madeleine did."
"Same difference," he says with a shrug.
You glare at him, but he just smiles, annoyingly relaxed.
This was going to be a long week.
-
You figure a visit to the Christmas market downtown might help you get some convincing couple photos. But of course, Jungwon treats the whole thing like a joke.
"Hold still," you say, holding up your phone.
Jungwon drapes an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer than necessary. "Come on, you gotta sell it, Y/N. Look like you’re in love with me."
You shove his arm off. "I can’t do that when you’re being this insufferable."
"Insufferable?" he repeats, feigning offense. "You wound me."
"You’ll live," you mutter, snapping a photo.
He peers over your shoulder at the screen. "That’s terrible. Here, let me."
Before you can protest, he takes your phone, tilts his head toward yours, and snaps a selfie. To your annoyance, it actually looks good.
"There," he says, handing the phone back to you. "You’re welcome."
You stare at the photo, trying not to notice how natural the two of you look together. "You’re so annoying."
"And yet, here we are," he says with a grin.
“Whatever.”
-
"Why do we need so much food?" Jungwon complains, trailing behind you as you push a cart through the grocery store.
"Because my family eats a lot," you say, scanning the shelves for the specific brand of cranberry sauce your mom insists on.
He picks up a box of gingerbread cookies and examines it. "Why don’t we just bring these? No one’s gonna care."
"Are you serious?" you ask, snatching the box out of his hands. "We’re not showing up with store-bought cookies. My mom would have a heart attack."
"Wow," he says, leaning against the cart. "You’re really committed to this whole 'perfect daughter' thing, huh?"
You glare at him. "Unlike you, I actually care what my family thinks."
"Touché," he says, holding up his hands in surrender. "But for the record, I think your mom would survive."
You ignore him and toss the cookies back on the shelf.
Later that night, after spending hours wrapping presents, you find Jungwon lounging on the couch in your apartment, scrolling through his phone.
"Do you ever do anything productive?" you ask, flopping down next to him.
"Define 'productive,'" he says without looking up.
"I don’t know. Something that doesn’t involve your phone or beer pong."
He smirks. "You’re obsessed with beer pong. Did someone beat you at it once or something?"
"No," you say defensively. "I just think it’s a ridiculous way to spend your time."
"Noted," he says, finally putting his phone down. "So what do you do for fun, Miss Holier-Than-Thou?"
"I read. I bake. I actually contribute to society," you say with a smug smile.
"Wow. Thrilling," he says, but there’s a teasing glint in his eye.
You roll your eyes, but before you can respond, he leans his head back against the couch and lets out a deep sigh.
"Okay, seriously, though," he says. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"
"A little," you admit. "My family can be… a lot."
"I’ll survive," he says, turning to look at you. "But what about you? Are you gonna be okay?"
The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard. For once, he’s not teasing or joking. He’s just… Jungwon.
"Yeah," you say softly. "I think so."
"Good," he says, smiling at you. "Because no matter how terrible this dinner is, I’ve got your back."
And just like that, the walls you’ve been trying so hard to keep up start to crack.
-
By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, you’re a ball of nerves. Jungwon picks you up in his car, looking annoyingly calm and way too good in a dark green sweater and tailored coat.
"You ready?" he asks as you slide into the passenger seat.
"Absolutely not," you reply, clutching the tin of cookies you baked as a distraction the night before.
"You’ll be fine," he says, flashing you that same dimpled smile that’s starting to become your undoing.
The moment you walk through your parents’ front door, you’re greeted by your sister, Addison.
"There she is!" Addison exclaims, pulling you into a tight hug that feels more like a performance for whoever might be watching. "And this must be Jungwon!"
Jungwon smiles politely, shaking her hand. "Nice to meet you."
Addison looks him up and down, her perfectly manicured nails tapping against her champagne glass. "Wow. Y/N really outdid herself this time."
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Your older sister has always had a way of making everything about her, even when it’s not supposed to be.
"Where’s Mom?" you ask, desperate to change the subject.
"In the kitchen,"s she says, waving a dismissive hand. "But don’t worry about that. We need to get a picture of the happy couple for Instagram."
Before you can protest, Addison drags you and Jungwon to the living room, posing you in front of the tree like a pair of dolls.
"Smile!" she says, her phone already snapping away.
Jungwon leans in closer, his arm sliding around your waist like it’s the most natural thing in the world. You stiffen for a moment before forcing a smile, trying not to think about how warm he feels.
"Perfect," Addison says, scrolling through the photos with a self-satisfied smirk.
Dinner is somehow both better and worse than you expected.
Your mom keeps asking Jungwon about his family, his major, and his plans after graduation, while your dad mostly nods approvingly between bites of turkey.
Your sister, however, spends the entire meal subtly (and not-so-subtly) comparing everything you’ve ever done to her own achievements.
"Oh, you’re studying business, Jungwon? That’s cute. My fiancé, Ryan, just got promoted to VP at his firm," she says with a laugh that grates on your nerves.
"That’s impressive," Jungwon says politely, but you can tell he’s unimpressed.
"And Y/N," Addison continues, turning her attention to you. "It’s so nice to see you with someone. I was starting to think you’d be single forever."
The table goes silent. Your mom tries to awkwardly steer the conversation elsewhere, but the damage is done. You feel your cheeks burn, and you suddenly lose your appetite.
After dinner, you excuse yourself, slipping out onto the back porch to get some air. The cold bites at your skin, but you don’t care. You just need a moment to breathe.
You’re staring at the snow-covered yard when the door creaks open behind you.
"Hey," Jungwon says softly, stepping outside. He shrugs off his coat and drapes it over your shoulders before you can protest.
"Thanks," you mumble, pulling the coat tighter around you.
"You okay?" he asks, leaning against the railing beside you.
"I’m fine," you lie, though your voice cracks on the last word.
Jungwon gives you a look, the kind that makes you feel like he can see right through you.
"She always does this," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "Addison. The perfect sister who has to be better at everything."
"You’re not supposed to do that, you know," he says lightly, gesturing towards your cigarette.
You roll your eyes and lean against the railing, lighting it with a practiced flick of your lighter. "I don’t. I barely smoke. But, you know, desperate times…"
Jungwon chuckles, his breath fogging in the cold air. "I get it."
You exhale, the smoke curls around you, rising into the frosty night. "She just knows how to get under my skin. It’s like she’s made a career out of it."
Jungwon leans next to you, resting his elbows on the railing. "I don’t know. Sounds like she’s just jealous."
You laugh humorlessly. "Of what?"
"Of you," he says simply.
You blink at him, caught off guard. "Are you serious?"
"Completely." He reaches over and plucks the cigarette from your fingers, taking an awkward, experimental puff before immediately coughing.
You burst out laughing as he doubles over, waving a hand in front of his face. "What—what are you doing?"
"Trying to figure out what the big deal is," he says between coughs, his cheeks turning pink—though whether it’s from the cold or his failed attempt at smoking, you’re not sure.
"You don’t have to join me, you know," you tease, taking it back from him.
He straightens up, giving you a sheepish grin. "I just wanted to see what you like about it."
"It’s not about liking it," you admit, tapping the ash against the railing. "It’s more—I don’t know. It gives me something to do when I feel like falling apart."
Jungwon is quiet for a moment, watching the snow-covered yard below. Then he says, "You don’t need this."
You glance at him, surprised by the softness in his tone.
"You could just… talk to me instead,” he says, his eyes meeting yours.
Your heart does that annoying flip thing again, and you quickly look away. "Talking doesn’t solve everything, you know."
"No, but it helps." He pauses, then adds with a teasing smile, "And it’s probably better for your lungs."
You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling. "Fine. Next time, I’ll talk to you."
"Good."
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the kind that feels rare and precious. The cigarette burns down to a stub, and you flick it into the snow, watching the ember fade out.
His presence is warm and steady, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel so overwhelmed.
"Thanks." You say softly. "For agreeing to this. I don't even know what I was thinking suggesting it. Addison just texted me and I freaked. I guess there was always a part of me that wanted to impress her."
Jungwon hesitates for a moment, then says, "You know, you don’t give yourself enough credit."
You glance at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"
"I mean—you let people like Addison make you feel small, but you’re not. You’re kind, and funny, and you care about people. That’s more than most people can say."
You stare at him, your throat tightening. "Why are you saying this?"
"Because it’s true," he says, his voice soft but certain.
You shake your head, looking down at your hands. "You don’t even know me that well."
"I know enough," he says.
There’s a long pause, and then, almost too quietly to hear, he adds, "I love you."
Your head snaps up, your heart pounding in your chest. "What?"
"I love you," he repeats, looking right at you.
"You’re insane." You say, voice barely above a whisper. "You’ve known me for a week. I'm awkward and I wouldn't make a good girlfriend. You'd be ashamed of me, you know."
"I love you, Y/N."
You're not too sure what to say, not expecting him to stand his ground so firmly.
"I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought this would just be some silly, fake thing. I don’t care if you think you’re awkward or shy or anything else. I love you exactly the way you are."
You take a shaky breath, your chest tight with emotions you don’t know how to name.
"I don’t know what to say," you admit.
"You don’t have to say anything," he says gently.
You nod, your heart still racing as he steps back inside, leaving you alone with the snow and the stars and the weight of his words.
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, his cheeks pink from the cold, his eyes full of warmth and sincerity.
And then, before you can overthink it, you rise on your tiptoes and kiss him.
This time, it’s not for show. It’s not for anyone else.
It’s just for you.
#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen x female reader#enhypen fake texts#enhypen fic#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen au#enhypen scenarios#enhypen smau#enhypen smut#jungwon imagines#jungwon x y/n#jungwon x you#jungwon x reader#jungwon x female reader#jungwon fluff#jungwon fanfic#jungwon fake texts#jungwon au#enhypen jungwon#Jungwon#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you
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sundog
prompt: Simon comes across a girl when she's recently been evicted and takes her back to his place, despite her reservations (nsfw, 8.5k) [based on this old post] [on ao3 here]
-
The circumstances of your life change so abruptly that you lose sight of it for a moment.
Then, you’re out on the streets with the clothes on your back and a suitcase packed so full that a sweater sleeve sticks out where the zippers meet. The locks to your apartment have already been changed. You know because you tried them anyway, desperately hoping that the eviction notice taped to your door might have been misplaced.
Evidently not. The keys don’t work. You contemplate chucking them on the walk out, but instead you keep them close like a talisman of protection, though it’s failed to live up to its purpose so far.
You’ve got it under control for a day. If by ‘under control’, you mean experiencing a full body panic attack in the locker room of the twenty-four hour gym down the street from your old apartment. The staff gives you uncomfortable looks when you come in on the verge of tears with your suitcase rolling behind you, but they let you in because your membership is up to date. If you can count on anything in life, it’s consumerism.
That doesn’t last long though, mainly because a locker and a wood bench won’t cut it in the long term. You sleep in the back of the local library until a stern-faced, if pitying, librarian threatens to call the cops on you. Pity isn’t sympathy, evidently.
Gym management threatens to cut the lock on the locker you’ve been using as temporary storage space. Matter of fact, they say, you can’t be using the locker room as your quasi apartment between the hours of nine P.M. and seven A.M. just because everything else in the city is closed. Go home, they say.
What home, you don’t say, before packing up your things and heading out on your way.
If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s capitalism.
You didn’t think this kind of thing could happen to someone like you. Someone like you being an ordinary person. Homelessness always felt like a far away concept. But the world is cruel and life is brutal. What you didn’t realize before was that, at any moment in time, you’ve been closer to poverty than wealth, and here you are now, sitting in the park with your suitcase between your legs, the sun rapidly setting behind you, your phone at ten percent battery, and nowhere to go because your family is, frankly, nonexistent, and your friends, for lack of a better word, have almost entirely washed their hands of you.
Sorry, they’d say, the frown emoji expressing something like pity at a distance. We don’t have a couch to spare.
I can sleep on the floor, you’d texted back. They’d gotten cagey after that. People like to be wanted only to a certain extent.
You can feel the panic rise up in you, too big to contain. It comes out in the form of blubbering tears and snot running from your nose. Big, hiccuping sobs. It’s not pretty. Passersby avert their eyes for the most part, save for the ones that eye you with something bordering on perverse delight and that’s what finally makes you get up and speed walk away, lest they feel compelled to approach you.
But even in the tailwinds of summer, it gets cold outside at night. Worst of all, as the evening grows dark, the streets empty out until you can’t help but feel like a beacon with your little rolling suitcase. It clatters against the sidewalk as you try to hoof it down the street, looking for any shop still open to loiter in. Most close after nine though. You’ve googled homeless shelters, but the sheer anxiety keeps you floundering around up and down the streets instead.
It feels beyond helpless. You’re in a state like you’ve never been before, crying under a streetlamp because you needed a moment just to get your bearings.
What you know now is that this world is a house of false bottoms. You thought the circumstances of your life could never change. You were never well to do, but you were doing well. The sight of the unhoused sitting with their backs to the brick and mortar stores on your walk home or congregated in a park in the middle of the city with their tents and shopping carts used to fill you with immeasurable pity, maybe even a quiet moment’s reflection; now, you see them as kin.
Easy, isn’t it? To slip between states. To go from solid to liquid to gaseous. Easier than you ever could have expected.
When it starts to rain, you almost close your eyes in relief. Anyone could’ve predicted this.
You almost don’t respond to him at first, keeping your eyes trained on the sidewalk to avoid any bumps. Also, it never pays to look up at a man barking at you, especially not when he’s barking something like, Girl or Bird, turn around.
Then he says it again, closer this time, and you’re forced to look up, if only to see who’s approaching you. Your suspicion melts away to distrust at the sight of the man stalking towards you. Distrust with a touch of trepidation—maybe outright alarm. Surely no man his size wearing a balaclava tucked into a hoodie straining around his arms would have innocent designs on you.
He’s one of the bigger men you’ve ever come across. You look across the street to see if there’s a bar missing its bouncer, but all the shop fronts are dark like the ones on your side.
You don’t bolt at the sight of him, but it’s a near thing. He appears from nowhere, and yet there’s nowhere for him to hide. Not with the size and breadth of him damn near taking up the whole sidewalk. His demeanour and stride evoke such a sense of authority that at first you mistake him for a plainclothes man, and wouldn’t that be just the icing on the shit cake of a week you’ve been experiencing. But something about him says otherwise.
“Plan on catchin’ your death out here?” he asks, and you shiver. Not from the cold, but from the sound of his voice.
You’re not used to talking to strangers. A month ago, you would’ve ignored the man lambasting you for being out in the rain; maybe crossed the street and hailed a cab instead. You don’t have those kinds of options anymore. The only thing left in your repertoire is to shout back.
“I’ve got mace!” you yell out, your voice a hoarse rattle carved out from hours spent crying.
“That’ll do ya fuck all out here,” he says, a touch condescendingly. “You lost or somethin’?”
“I’m not lost,” you sniff, rubbing the snot away from your nose with the end of your sleeve.
“Then get home instead of roamin’ the streets. You’re askin’ to get snatched up, bird.”
The threat of that has been lingering in your head these past few days, even stretching back to the very first moment that you noticed the sign on your door, but now it has its intended effect. You shake.
“I can’t,” you whisper.
“Bloody hell,” he sighs. “Why the fuck not? Need someone to call you a cab?”
“I got evicted. I don’t have a home,” you say, and sniffle when your nose leaks again. Saying it outloud brings tears to your eyes again, a pressure building behind your orbital sockets and down to the tip of your nose.
You must look like the saddest thing in the world standing there in the rain under the dim light of the streetlamp, the pole looped with graffiti and old gum. When the man berating you for being out in it takes a step forward, coming into the light, you can finally make out the bored depths of his eyes. A deep brown. Entirely unimpressed with the picture in front of him, maybe even a bit peeved.
Your socks are wet and your shoes squelch when you take a step back. You pull the sheer sweater tighter around your frame, but it does nothing to protect you from the damp, frigid air.
“You been out here long?” he asks, taking another step closer. Not tentatively either. His gaze sweeps over you proprietarily, taking stock; his arrogance comes as an afterthought. He’s not rubbing it in your face that he can do whatever he likes—he just does.
You wheel your suitcase around in front of you to put something between the two of you. “…Just today. The gym kicked me out.”
You sound petulant, words chewed between your lips and teeth; begrudgingly admitting to the various pitfalls of your existence. All the bad luck. It’s shameful to admit to losing complete control of your life.
“Haven’t ya got any family, girl? Friends? What’re they letting a girl like you stay out on the streets for?”
You could be sick on the pavement. “…That’s none of your business.”
His eyes go flat at that, unimpressed. “You always this nasty to people tryin’ to help?”
And you’re not. That’s the part that grates the most. You’re all soft underbelly; no bark, no bite. It’s inconceivable that this could’ve happened to you—inconceivable because your head is filled with false promises and mythologies. The myth of exceptionalism. This happens to other people. Not good girls that go to college and get their degrees and find a stable job.
They’ve pulled the rug out from under you so fast that you haven’t even toppled over yet. That’s how quick it all happened.
“What help are you?” The bite comes out of nowhere, fueled by bitter humiliation and resentment for the predicament you’ve found yourself in. “Are you gonna put me up in a hotel?”
“Think I’m made of money, bird?” he asks rhetorically.
“You’ve probably got more than I have.”
Now you’re weepy again at the thought. Down to your last hundred dollars and you’re in between jobs at the moment. It might’ve been easier to haul yourself out of poverty if applying for jobs didn’t require a mailing address. That’ll be your first priority once you find a place to live. But conversely, how are you meant to find housing with no proof of income? Landlords laugh in your face before slamming the door shut. The conversations are circular, but they always come to a grinding halt; that’s the only thing you’ve learned to expect.
The worst part of this whole conversation is that it doesn’t follow any of the scripts you’ve previously memorized. When have you ever had to deal with a man interrogating you about your place of residence? It makes no sense.
It’s inconceivable to imagine that this is happening to you, but it is. Life comes at you hard, with a razor’s edge. Sharp enough to cut, to lacerate.
“You need a place to stay,” he states bluntly.
“It’s fine. I’ll—I’ll find something.”
“You could come home with me.” He says it so bluntly that for a moment all you can do is blink. Surely you misheard him. Surely a man of his size and breadth, dark mask obscuring his face, wouldn’t be daft enough to ask a woman he found on the street to come home with him.
The offer, as well-intentioned as you hope it is, puts you on edge. “No, that’s…that’s alright. I don’t want to…put you out. I was going to look up nearby shelters.”
“Shelters’ll all be full this time of night,” he says. “Never been on the streets?”
You clenched your teeth, nerves starting to get the better of you.
“I can go to a church,” you say, voice terse now, frayed with nerves.
He snorts. “Haven’t been to one in a long time, but pretty sure those close too, pet. It’s late.”
You sway on your feet, the suitcase at your side the only thing keeping your knees from buckling. Dead ends everywhere you turn. You’ve always thought of yourself as resourceful; that if push came to shove, you’d figure your way out of any sticky situation. That smacks of arrogance now. All your suppositions are dissolving right in front of you, your own self-image along with it.
A heavy foot stepping into a puddle brings you back to focus. The masked man is closer now, within arm’s reach. Your heart jumps into your throat. He towers over you, monolith man; big as a sequoia, or other deadland creatures that vanish out of sight when you catch a shadow out of the corner of your eye and whirl around to look it dead on.
“I can’t go home with a stranger.”
You know you’re not supposed to put your faith in strange men. Bad things happen to girls that go around trusting any man that offers up their help.
The fist in your chest loosens infinitesimally when the man reaches up to pull the mask off his head. He’s every inch the brute you imagined in your head—blunt chin and crooked nose, a nasty scar running up his lip. There are scars all over his face, in fact—bisecting his left eyebrow and down his cheek. The blond hair on his head is slightly grown out, like he’s used to keeping it neat and tight but it’s been awhile since his head has seen a razor. His beard grows in a bit patchy, the burnish gold of a five o’clock shadow.
You frown. “Is that supposed to make me trust you?”
“Well, now we’re not strangers, are we?”
“That doesn’t—that doesn’t change anything! I still don’t know you.”
He shrugs. Takes a step back. “Suit yourself then. No skin off my ass.”
Your stomach roils, anxiety coming back with a vengeance. You hadn’t noticed it recede since the man started talking to you, but you notice its return. When he makes a move to turn back around, you lurch forward, your hand extending out and fisting in the side of his shirt. He pauses, then looks down at you.
“…Where else am I supposed to go?” you whisper.
He tilts his head. “Could sleep on a bench in the park.”
You glare at him through tear-soaked eyes. “That’s not funny.”
“Wasn’t meant to be. You’re shit out of other options at this time of night.”
“So, what? Now it’s-it’s my fault or something?”
His eyes don’t exactly soften, but they lose their hard edge.
“I’m not gonna ask twice,” he says. Not cautioning you, just stating a fact. “You coming or not?”
Disaster seems like a given at this point. At least you could pick your poison.
Words are beyond you though, so you just bite your lip and nod, eyes downcast now.
What else is there for you to do but follow him after that? You trail along after him like a sad, wet cat left out in the rain.
He finds her wandering the streets with her pretty little suitcase rolling over every bump and crack in the sidewalk and there’s no fighting the urge to drag her home.
She doesn’t look like a runaway. Just a poor thing down on her luck. Her cheeks practically glisten with her tears when she looks up at him with her big, pathetic eyes, and it makes his cock plump up against his thigh.
That’s not what this is about though. Simon presses his hand against his dick to rub out some of the ache while she flutters around the bedroom and reminds himself of that again. He didn’t take her home to maul her like a dog. He dragged her back to his flat because she looked wounded and scared out of her wits.
He can be good every now and then.
“Sit down, will ya?” he grunts, tugging her down onto the couch when she flits across the room to grab more of her shit out of her suitcase, glancing down at him apprehensively on her way by. She yelps when he sends her sprawling onto the couch.
His flat isn’t much. A one-bedroom above a laundromat; eggshell walls and torn up baseboards because he hasn’t gotten around to fixing the place up. It’s better than sleeping on the streets though, he knows that much.
Simon’s no stranger to that; if being in the military taught him anything, it was how to survive regardless of circumstances. In the weeks after his medical discharge—his knees beyond busted, basically bone on bone, and even these days, though he works more to have something to do than to earn a living, they still scream at him when he puts too much weight on them—he wandered aimlessly for a bit, crashing on Gaz’s couch for a bit and sleeping on benches for a spell after that before finding his footing again.
Simon ignores the way that she yaps at him though, used to tuning people out. He flicks on the television and flips to a show that looks vaguely entertaining before getting up and ambling over to the kitchen.
“D-do you want me to help?” she asks from the kitchen, tripping over her words in her haste to get them out.
She reeks of the need to please. Desperate; cloying, sickly sweet like flowering dracaena. It clings to her like a perfume, silk-wrapped and packaged just for him. It could give a man like him indecent thoughts. His thoughts already tend towards the impure.
He must eye her like a ravenous animal because she flinches suddenly under his gaze, eyes flicking away nervously before meeting his again. Good girl, Simon wants to say. Eyes on me.
“Sit down,” he barks instead, and relishes in the way she sits back down with her hands tucked under her thighs.
She’s really a pretty little thing. A shame that he found her out wandering in the rain, out where any man with worse intentions could have stumbled across her. The thought alone could drive him to violence. Again he stares at the back of her head and the slope of her shoulders, evaluating. His bloodlust dulls to a simmer. It pounds in his ears like a dull drum, but at least now he can hear again.
Anyone else could have found her first, but they didn’t. He did. That tempers the homicidal impulse thrumming in his blood. She’s in his flat now, freshly showered and skin still damp. When she looks over her shoulder, it’s him she sees.
Poor bird with her clipped wings. She’s not in danger of flying off anytime soon. The thought placates him. Tucked away in his cage, he doesn’t have to rend anyone limb from limb.
It’s been years since he traded in his fatigues for a hi vis jumpsuit, but some days he misses it so acutely that his hands shake and his vision fades in and out. This is one of those days. He toys with the idea of reaching out to Price in the morning to learn more about her, but then discards the idea. Better if it comes straight from her.
Besides, he doesn’t like asking for favours anyway.
“Name’s Simon, by the way,” he grunts, nostrils flaring when he sees her flinch at the sound of his voice. “Riley.”
“Oh,” is all she says. He waits a beat.
“Gonna give me your name, bird?”
She does, voice squeaky like it’s said under duress. That pisses him off more.
He's not much of a cook, but he can whip up something quick, so he tosses one of his frozen meals into the microwave and sits her in front of the TV while she shivers and shakes on the couch.
They eat in silence, the TV on in the background. It’s the only noise besides the soft sound of her chewing. Simon can tell she’s gone hungry in recent days by the voracious way she eats, unable to keep herself from shovelling the food into her mouth. She seems almost embarrassed by it after swallowing her last bite, looking over at him from the corner of her eye like a guilty dog. He ignores it, keeping his eyes on the TV instead.
He can tell she wants to say something. A shit childhood and two decades in the military have left him with the ability to sniff out tension, and it comes off her in waves. After putting her plate on the coffee table, she sits back against the couch and squeezes her fists over her lap. Gnaws her lip and casts furtive glances in his direction. When the tears build up on her waterline, his cock twitches.
“What?” he barks after the umpteenth sniffle, twisting to face her.
“I—um—I just wanted to say thank you,” she whispers, her head still tilted downward, trying to make herself small enough to go unnoticed.
Simon stares down at her, unblinking. He half wishes she’d cry a little more, just a few tears to soothe the beast in his chest. It’s better for her that her eyes remain dry. He doesn’t think he could hold himself back if one slipped down her cheek right now. He’d have to grab her by the nape of her neck and twist her over the side of the couch, shove down both their drawers and feed his cock into the warm, wet slot between her legs. Pummel her little cunt until his spend leaks out in thick, viscous globs, until her thighs shake so violently that only his hands on her shoulders and his shaft shoved deep in her pussy keeps her upright.
He can almost smell it from between her legs, throbbing with gratefulness. He stares down unabashedly at the spot between her legs. Let her say something about it.
“Don’t mention it,” he says instead, tilting his head when her tongue peeks out to wet her lips. “‘Was nothing.”
“No, it was really nice of you,” she insists, speaking more forcefully after gathering up some of her courage. “What if I…—you took a stranger into your house.”
That gets the blood pumping. “Gonna gut me while I sleep, pet?”
It’s half deranged that his cock chubs up in his jeans at the thought of his little bird with a knife in her hands, hands dripping with wet, dark blood. He shifts, readjusting himself so the metal teeth of his zipper don’t bite into his dick.
She frowns. Endearing. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Not really good at looking after yourself, are you?”
“I am—it’s just…” tears build up on her waterline again, “it was one thing after another. I couldn’t get it all together.”
Pity isn’t an emotion he’s accustomed to feeling. Simon’s not even sure if that’s what he’s feeling now. It’s more like the bastard child of pity.
He lets her off to bed with a warning not to fuck with anything in his room. She skitters off quickly after that. Her cute little ass follows her into the room until she shuts the door behind her, hiding it from view. He huffs. Being good never gets him anywhere.
He lets her run away though because he can’t tarnish everything he touches. Some things deserve to stay polished.
Instead, he brushes his teeth and washes the last of the dishes before turning in as well, getting a clean sheet out of the linen closet to drape over himself. The couch isn’t nearly long enough for him to stretch out on, not like the king sized bed in his room; there’s already a spring poking him right in the middle of his back.
Sleep won’t come easy tonight.
Simon wakes up on the couch with a kink in his neck. He lays there for several minutes gritting his teeth until the worst of it passes. When he sits up, his back cracks and pops, joints loosening only reluctantly. His age is getting away from him again; the wear and tear on his body finally starting to catch up. There’s only so much abuse he can put himself through.
The morning races on outside his front door and he has work to get to, but his body orients towards the closed door of his bedroom almost without his say. It creaks as it swings open.
In the slowly dimming haze of sleep, he must have subconsciously thought he dreamt the night before because seeing the girl from yesterday curled up in his bed halts him in his tracks. Her suitcase is open on the floor beside the bed. She must have changed into her pyjamas after slinking away last night because he doesn’t recognize the little cotton shorts hugging the swell of her ass and the shirt riding up over her belly button.
Despite the perfunctory morning jerk he gave himself just ten minutes prior, his cock twitches in his work pants, gaze locked on the underside of her ass, the flesh peeking out from beneath her sleep shorts.
The hunger ebbs out of a deep, cavernous hole in him. A heavy, oppressive heat; lust so gnarled and twisted that he hardly recognizes it. He can see it play out in his mind—crawling over the bird’s prone form and turning her over onto her belly, his knees on either side of her legs, cloaking her. Tugging down the zipper of his pants and wrenching those slutty shorts down to mid-thigh before burying his shaft in her hole. Little bird that followed him home, sleeping in his bed. She should thank him for his help with a wet hole.
Simon takes a step into the room and then stops. He won’t—can’t—
His teeth grind together from how hard he clenches his jaw.
He stands in the doorway and watches her sleep in his bed for longer than he should. Only when he feels something ugly well up in his chest does he finally bark out her name, snorting softly when she jumps and nearly falls right off the side of the bed.
“Get up,” Simon grunts. “And make yourself something to eat. I’ve gotta head out.”
He walks away before the befuddled look on her face makes him crack a smile.
She tiptoes out a few minutes later, still in her PJs. Her wary glances tick him off. For the effort it’s taken him to keep his hands to himself, he deserves more than her shifty looks, scoring him like he split her little peach open in her sleep.
Breakfast is an uncomfortable affair. It’s partly his fault, but he doesn’t apologize for it. They eat in tense silence until it’s time for him to head to work.
“Don't think about leaving—any of my shit gets nicked and it's your ass.”
He leaves her with that warning, slamming the door behind him.
Your heart goes quiet at the dawning of your new life.
Adjusting to your new reality takes a bit of effort. The first few days with Simon feel tenuous at best. You worry constantly about doing something wrong and finding yourself back out on the streets. You’re thankful to the point of pandering, apologizing for any sudden move or sound that you make. You can tell it annoys him.
The real work is recontextualizing your perception of yourself. The world feels strange now that you’re outside of it; alien somehow. You used to think of yourself as somehow inextricably woven into the fabric of society. The thought of losing everything never even occurred to you. It never even presented itself as a possibility. You worried about homelessness the way people worry about quicksand—in some nebulous way touching on the real without being absorbed by it.
And now you are cut from another cloth altogether; abruptly, without any warning. You used to feel like one with the rest of the world, a kind of kinship based less on parentage or ancestry and more on inner nature. Weren’t you the same as any of them? But now the drapery has been pulled down and you know—you are not the same.
Your future used to shimmer under the surface like a bioluminescent fish, but now it’s just a ghost.
He tells you to stay put when he goes to work so you do, spending the days puttering around the apartment, watching TV, and cleaning. There’s not much else to do. It’s almost a relief, to be honest. You’ve spent so much time without a place to call home that the second someone offered you one, the outside world became anathema in your head. You couldn’t step foot out of the front door even if you wanted to.
Tears well up at the smallest thing. You blubber over not being able to work the coffee machine in the kitchen. When the sound goes out on the TV, you cry so hard that it leaves you woozy. You’re lachrymose, downtrodden. Soul a startling verdigris; your waterlines might as well be white with encrustations of salt.
He must notice the dark cloud following you from room to room, but he doesn’t bring it up. You’d find it tactful, but you know him a bit better than that.
Then Simon brings home a cat after his shift one day and you don’t know what to say to that.
Thank you doesn’t seem to suffice. I love it doesn’t cut it close. The truth of the matter is that words only ever approximate the feeling; they can get close enough to give you a glimmer of what’s stashed inside, but you can’t pry them all the way open. So you take the off-white cat from him when he practically tosses the poor thing into your arms, and stare up at him wide-eyed, eyes already watering for reasons once again unbeknownst to you.
“Thank you for taking him home,” you say, already on the verge of tears.
He stares down at you, unblinking. You’re learning to read into his silences though.
“Don’t expect me to take care of it,” he says instead of accepting your thanks. “If you can’t handle it, it’s going back outside.”
You hold the cat tight to your chest, staring up at him with horror until the little beast nearly scratches your eye out in an effort to squirm out of your arms.
At first, you’re not sure what to make of it. It can’t be a peace offering because, apart from the rare occasions where you manage to get on his nerves (not wholly impossible, but you’re learning how to stay on his good side for the most part), you and Simon get along pretty well. You coexist, at least. He cooks, you clean.
It’s likely a distraction, you finally realize, something to keep you from moping around the apartment all the time, listless and directionless. Despite the fact that you’re no longer in any immediate danger now that you have a roof over your head, misery still clings to you like a second skin. The relative safety of Simon’s flat has actually only given you a chance to really properly mourn the loss of your former life.
Training the cat to wear a harness without tipping over (the little drama king) and taking him on his first walk outside (just a little turn around the block, though you half jump out of your skin whenever you cross paths with another person) gives you enough of a sense of purpose to propel you through the next week.
You can tell that Simon thinks the cat is more trouble than it’s worth, especially when it decides to fixate on the one person in the flat that doesn’t pay it a lick of attention, but still it makes your heart melt to see it curled up by his side when you watch TV together at the end of the night.
“Is this normal for you?” you ask, hands folded in your lap.
His gaze doesn’t move from the television screen. “Is what normal?”
“Taking in strays.”
He snorts, then takes a second to answer. “No.”
You wonder if he intends to sound as caustic as he comes across. The truth is self-evident though. Words only mask the real, and the real in this case is that Simon Riley is a man that feeds and takes home strays. He can grumble about it all he wants. It’s a bit demeaning to think of yourself that way, but once again, the truth is what it is.
You study him from the corner of your eye until bedtime rolls around again. He’s become the most interesting thing in the world to you, through every fault of his own.
If he didn’t want you to fixate on him, he wouldn’t have left you home alone with nothing else to do.
“Bird!” Simon roars from the other room. “The cat’s pissed on the floor again.”
You spring out of bed before Simon has a chance to toss it out onto the balcony.
It feels temporary up until the first time you use Simon’s address on a job application. It stands out stark on your phone screen, black on glowing white. You’ve always preferred it to dark mode, though that preference has fluctuated in recent weeks as you’ve spent more and more time on your phone.
This is the first time staring at the screen without blinking for a prolonged period of time that hasn’t left you with a throbbing migraine.
He tells you to stop bothering him with stupid shit when you ask him if it’s alright to use his address. That answers that. Guilt lingers on the periphery of your mind the first time that you do, but then the application is submitted. An innocuous grey box that redefines your whole world in a way that [Thanks for applying!] doesn’t seem to encapsulate.
Your old friends come next. They come back one by one, guilty, furtive looks aplenty. You Facetime the one who wouldn’t let you sleep on her couch while sitting on Simon’s bed. When she asks you about your living situation, all you tell her is that you found a roommate. It doesn’t feel right to give her more information than that. What has she done to deserve your honesty?
You manage pleasantries and a half decent conversation, but truth again lingers at the back of your mind. The unspoken reality that this person—someone you trusted—could’ve been there for you in your time of need but chose to look the other way instead. Like taking you in would’ve been some big, terrible thing.
The body forgets everything except what hurts it. The body remembers nothing except what helps it survive.
Gratefulness lodges into your heart like an arrow shot from a castle’s ramparts intent on your demise. You could pull it out from the other side and succumb to blood loss, or you could push forward, lay siege to the man hidden inside its walls.
And you do. You want to show him every grateful inch of you. Even when it only results in more upset. Simon comes home to the smoke alarm blaring and a small fire in the microwave before he bans you from the kitchen altogether. You only cry for an hour in the bedroom with the door shut before he drags you out to takeout on the table in the living room. It’s an improvement.
“I’m sorry,” you sniffle into your veggie burger, on the verge of tears again when you glance into the kitchen to see most of the mess still there.
“It’s fine.”
“I just want to—I wanted to make it up to you…for taking me in.”
“You don’t owe me shit,” he says brusquely, dismissing you. His tone tells you to drop it, but that seems as likely as you growing wings and flying away.
“Yes, I do. You let me stay here when I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“If you want to make it up to me, take care of the cat and stop leaving your shit all over the bathroom. Found your knickers on the floor after you showered yesterday.”
Your face goes hot at that. You have nothing else to say.
Your attraction is a banal consequence of living under the same roof as him. There are only so many times he can come up behind you while you’re making your morning cup of coffee and swipe your mug before taking a sip from over your shoulder, barricading you against the counter. Acutely aware of the size of him with the way he’s pressed up against you.
You lose your train of thought whenever Simon wanders into a room. He lumbers in like a beast, steel-toed boots covered in mud and dust, ignoring the way you scold him for walking around the apartment in his shoes. Just cocks an eyebrow and stares down at you knowingly, like he can see right through you, knows that you’re only squawking and flitting around to hide the way your thighs rub together.
“It’s my fuckin’ flat,” he says instead of pointing out that your pussy’s wet because she knows there’s a man in the house that could take care of her proper. You know it too.
“I live here too, you know,” you huff. “I can’t wash the floors every time you come home.”
“Thought I was doing you a favour letting you live here.”
His words would fill you with righteous indignation, but they don’t because his actions don’t line up. You study him like a moth under glass, enthralled by the parts of him that used to frighten you.
It’s more than that though. He’s wedged himself into the hurt place in your heart, holding it up like Atlas.
You really do think that there’s something so special about him that you’ll never be able to articulate. Simon is everything you didn’t know you desperately wanted. The longer you live with him, the harder it is to deny how much you need him.
You will show your gratitude though. Every tender, aching morsel of it.
The little peach she grinds on his thigh is wet and ripe. Simon doesn’t tell her that he doesn’t need her gratitude; if he wanted it, he would’ve taken it already. But he doesn’t shove her out of his lap either. It’s not his problem if she thinks it’s necessary or not.
Maybe it’s not solely for his benefit, he concedes when she winds both arms around his neck and pushes her supple tits into his chest, climbing over his lap until her pussy is pressed right up against the cock fattening up in his jeans. She whimpers like she’s in pain.
Must not come a lot; he knows she at least hasn’t in recent days. Simon’s always been a light sleeper—he’s sure he would’ve heard any desperate attempts to get herself off in his bed, the springs creaking under her weight, her hushed, bitten off moans leaking out from under the doorframe. The thought riles him up more than he thought it would.
Still, Simon doesn’t lift a hand to help the poor bird in his lap as she grinds down on his length. His arms stay stretched across the back of the couch, hips canted just enough to give her a perch and nothing more.
She gasps every word into his ear, voice all pitched and breathy. “Ah, ah, ah—thank you, thank you, I…—can I please have it? Please, please let me, Simon, pleasepleaseplease—”
It feels like everything they’ve been through so far has been leading to this. He’d smelt it coming like blood in the water.
All week, his bird has been sitting on her hands and trying not to give herself away. Cloaked in a nervous, frenetic energy. Anticipatory. She’d doe-eyed him the night before and begged him to sleep in the bed with her instead of wrecking his back on the couch, but he’d ignored her in favour of watching Argentina decimate Croatia in the semi-finals. It must have not sat right with her though because she’d been broody from the moment he left for work until he got home, steering him into the kitchen and practically hand feeding him before coaxing him into the living room to watch a movie while she cuddled up beside him.
That hadn’t lasted long.
“What’s gotten into you, pet?” Simon asks, hardly dissuading her when she presses petal soft lips to his jaw and nuzzles, breathing heavily. His heart swells. Desperate little slut.
“Took care of me,” she mumbles, almost slurring her words. “Always taking care of me, Simon.”
There’s no denying how hard it makes him to think about being her protector. The littlest things make her smile. Even the bloody cat had her trailing after him for a week straight after the fact, eternally underfoot. Always trying to curry favour. Eager to please.
Her worship leaves him unbalanced. Unstable even. A train careening off its track, the massive weight of catastrophe right behind it. The sense that life will never be the same after this. His surface level indifference is underscored by steeled self-control. He keeps his arms on the couch because he knows the second he puts them on her, it’s over. There’ll be no holding him back anymore, no possibility of him ever letting her go back out into the real world. Lock jawed, teeth sunk into her tender underbelly.
“Told you, you don’t owe me nothing,” Simon murmurs, curling his hands under her ass.
“Then—then…—I don’t know, pretend it’s just for me.” It’s a joke because they both know it’s not just for her. When her eyes sparkle with amusement, his cock throbs.
He lets her ruck the shirt over his head and struggle with his belt until she manages to unbuckle it like he has no say in the matter. She’s far less considerate with her own clothes, shucking them off and nearly ripping her knickers in the process, which almost prompts him to take her by the wrists and slow her down. He likes the lace and frills.
It’s a fight to fit his cock into her hole, as slick as she is. Coin slot tight; he almost breaks and tells her to take it easy when she reaches behind her to line his shaft up with her entrance and sits down, just barely stretching around the mushroomed head of his dick before wincing, tears springing into her eyes.
Simon does break when she tries to sink down another inch, thighs shaking violently. “Right, get off—you ain’t ready for this.”
“I am!” she insists, face screwed up in a scowl and a bead of sweat dripping down her temple. “Just—I can do it, Simon—”
“No, you can’t. You’re rushing and hurting yourself—”
“Wait, okay, wait, I can…just give me a minute, okay?” she begs, and he doesn’t tell her that he’d give her all the time in the world. Stay on this couch until the flesh fell off his bones. He’s waited so long; what’s a little longer?
Besides, the sight of her stretching herself out with her fingers is reward enough. She whines into his shoulder and shudders when she has to force another finger in before she’s ready. Too eager. It could give a man a complex. His blood is already scorching him from the inside out, too hot for his veins.
He considers helping her out, but watching her writhe and struggle in his lap is far more enjoyable.
He stopped paying attention awhile back, too focused on cupping her tits and running his tongue around the budded areola, sucking her pert nipple into his mouth, but she couldn’t have gotten to more than three fingers before running out of patience and lining him up again. This time, she sinks a bit deeper on the first stroke, still choking on her breath but forcing herself to take a bit more.
“You’re alright—you’re alright,” Simon murmurs, stroking a hand up and down her back while she impales herself on his length. She’s still too tight to take him comfortably, sweats and shakes over him. He pinches her nipple to distract her from the pain and smiles when she yelps.
She melts all over him, slick drenching his shaft and lap, her tongue lapping at the sweaty skin of his neck. Honeysuckle fragrant; the sweetest thing he’s ever known. Silken, tight. Fits like a glove around him.
He could lose himself in her. Piston into her until the thought of where he begins and where he ends dissolves into the tight warmth between her legs.
His bird is a greedy girl. She uses him like a toy to get herself off, bouncing in his lap and mewling into his ear everytime his cockhead nudges against her cervix. Too big to fit all the way in.
“You do this a lot, pet? Fuck every man that lends you a hand?” he pants, taunting her.
“No!” she snarls in his ear, feisty and sharp-toothed. Her nails dig into his back, scoring white lines into his skin. The shiver that wracks him is so violent that his arms tighten around her waist reflexively, making her gasp.
It doesn’t matter whether she does this often or not; the only thing that matters is that he’s the only man that gets to fuck her from here on out. Still, winding her up is half the fun.
“Perfect girl,” Simon chuckles, breathless. “Made for me. Got m’self a pet right off the street.”
And he did, didn’t he? Went wandering out into the night and came home with a bird fluttering her wet little wings.
His conscience is clean. He could’ve tied her down, kept her right where he wanted her (in his bed, his flat, the yawning cavity of his chest—) but his self-control remains unparalleled. Tough as nails. Strong as steel. And now look at what he has as a reward for his patience—a fever-hot cunt around his cock and delicate fingernails scratching the base of his skull.
A pretty bird that’s made his chest a cage.
The world goes vertical, horizontal. Fluid; sliding away from him. Something crashes in the background, so far off in the distance that he can hardly make out the sound.
He opens his eyes to find the ceiling staring back down at him, and then her face, hovering over him on the carpeted floor, her hands kneading the muscle of his chest. Her brows are drawn tight now, pinched. She stares down at him, past him, gaze like a transparent veil.
“Gi’me…gi’me…” she pants, barely able to pull herself off his cock.
He has to dig his fingers into her ass and pull her off, ignoring the way she whines and begs him to fill her back up. Ignores it because he knows what’s best for her; knows how to take care of what he owns.
When he bucks up into her, she chokes, fingers nearly yanking his chest hair out.
“Fuckin’ hell, that’s pretty,” he breathes. Snaps his hips up into hers again, relishing in the way she squeezes tight around him, almost to the point of pain.
His pleasure always comes jagged though. Whether the ache of his joints or nails tearing up the skin of his back and chest. Vicious and messy—how he likes it. She gives him everything he could want and more. The hand dug into his chest right above his heart could pierce right through the flesh and tear it out.
He pulls her all the way off his cock just for the pleasure of hearing her beg him again, then pulls her up his chest and eats her out until the beast in his belly calms down.
He yields to her whining only after a good few minutes. Soft bastard. Drags her back down until her soaked hole mouths at the head of his cock and he thrusts back up inside. Home. It’s his now, whether she likes it or not. Simon guesses he’s lucky that she wants it too; if he had to convince her, he would, but her desperation is just another gift for him to savour.
“Squeeze me good, bird. Say thank you—” thank you for taking me home, thank you for keeping me– almost spills off his tongue, but he reigns it in. She knows what to be thankful for.
“Nngh, Simon,” she sings, fucking herself on his cock. The sweetest sound he’s ever heard.
Simon’s never felt bigger than under his sweet bird. Thighs spread so wide around him that he knows she’ll ache in the morning. Brutish hands groping her thighs and waist and tits, rough against the softness of her skin. Stuffed full of a big cock, not even to the root; she bites right through her bottom lip when Simon pets at the thin skin stretched around his cock, her gaze wounded, overwhelmed.
Nearly blacks out at the thought of cramming a finger up there too. Only faint concern for her well-being tamps down the urge.
“Come on, fuck—that good, pet?”
“R-right there, oh god, ohgodohgod—”
He lets her ride him until she comes, until he comes, until his spend is blistering hot in her cunt, drooling down the length of his cock, frothy white with her cream and his come.
It’s a sight to look at. Gets him right in the chest. Nothing like times of yore; this is something with meaning, with feeling. When he lifts her off, his seed trickles out of her soft hole in white globs and makes his chest ache. It doesn’t matter whether it takes root or not. All that he needs is already here.
Beautiful and rare as a sundog; haloed by light. All this time, he dared not think this could be it.
He thinks he’ll love her with the same ferocity Icarus had on his descent.
She shivers when he traces his fingers up her spine. “N’more. M’tired.”
“Wasn’t gonna, pet.”
The bedroom then. She twitches in his arms when Simon carries her to bed and pats his chest approvingly when he slides in beside her.
He could’ve told her that it’d end up this way. He smiles indulgently when she shifts and splays over his chest, her nose nudging his nipple. Already fast asleep.
In the morning, you sit across from him, half a grapefruit in a bowl in front of you and a mug of coffee, black.
“I think I want to go back to school,” you say, apropos of nothing. The spoon clinks against the inside of the bowl.
“Yeah?” he says, only half-listening.
“I can always get a part time job on the days when I don’t have class. I never liked my old job anyway.”
“Do whatever you want,” Simon grunts. “Not my problem.”
Under the table, your cat’s tail curls around your ankle while he waits for you to sneak him the scraps.
You smile.
#ceil writing#cod mw2#cod x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost/reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley/reader#simon riley x you
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Tasting temptations
jake + f¡reader — ♡
WARNINGS — dom!jake, reader¡sub, riding him while he's eating, hair pulling, grinding, raw sex (stay safe, don't do it.) he calls her slut once, praising and pet names.
Note : my first post on here, i hope i did good! i haven't wrote in a while, i just got back into it — (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) this is proofread !!!!
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It was a normal night, jake just got home from work and made himself a quick meal, ramen. He was in the living room, sitting on the couch with his bowl of ramen on the coffee table, eating quietly. Jake is oblivious to how needy you've been feeling lately, especially with him rarely home. You slowly made your way over to the living room, standing infront of him which causes him to lift his head up, looking up at you with wide eyes and still chewing on his food.
"hey baby. you want some?" He lifts up his bowl to you and you nod. "come sit with me baby." He pats the empty space next to him, but instead of doing that you settled on his lap. Jake lets out a quiet groan, placing the bowl back on the table and props his hands on your hips. Your arms immediately going around his neck as you lean in to place small kisses on his collbarbone which is showing due to his black tanktop.
Jake lets out a soft sigh, caressing your back with small circles. Your kisses trailing up to his neck now, gently nibbling at his skin. "mm?... whats this about?" He chuckles a bit and you raise your head up to look at him, locking eyecontact for a moment. "What do you mean?" you say quietly. He raises an eyebrow, replying back with, "i dunno... you just seem... intense?" he searches for your eyes once more, tilting his head.
"Really? Well im... fine." he looks unamused but grabs his bowl, continuing to slurp up his noodles. The heat beneath you guys becomes evident, and you unintentionally move your hips for more friction. Jake lets out a soft grunt, causing him to slightly choke on his noodles. "b...baby what are you doing?-" your now practically humping his thigh slowly like a dog in heat. He swallows hard on his food, his lips slightly parting as he watches you.
"fuck- baby hold on..." hes trying to regain his composure while your panting heavily, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Mmph... jake i need you." He gulps, letting out a soft whimper as you swirl your hips around his lap causing his body to tremble slightly. "need me... for what, baby?" he murmurs, voice breathy and eyes wide with realization. he swallows hard, his cock already twitching in his sweatpants at your sensual movements. "...ohhh..."
Jake takes another bite out of his ramen, he's trying to eat and finish up faster but its hard when your moving on his lap. "baby let me just finish eating real quick-" Its too late though, your already fondling with his belt, in a desperate attempt to undo it. He doesn't stop you, instead he watches, the food being forgotten.
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Once you finally undo his belt, you throw it aside, working on his zipper now. You notice the tent in his pants, and he slightly jerks his hips upward. "fuck baby..." You glance at him, tugging his pants down to his hips before asking, "You gonna finish eating or no? Because i wont wait." He takes another bite out of his noodles with shakey hands, he's halfway done but with you literally stripping him, he keeps getting distracted. "im trying y'know. but its hard when your...-" At this point your desperate so you just pull his boxers down.
His aching cock finally springs free. His hands are so shakey he can barely grip on the chopsticks to continue eating. "I forgot how big you are..." you say, causing his cock to twitch. You then slide your hand down, fingertips tracing the slim and long base. He arches his back, almost dropping the bowl. "ahh... fuckk..." he moans out, struggling to say coherent words. "Im barely touching you." Your hand finally wraps around the veiny shaft, his hips snapping upwards in desperation for more of your touch. "So sensitive..."
You stroke his length up and down a few times while he bites his lower lip to surpress a moan. "sit on it please h...hahhh.." he mumbles, barely audible before moving the bowl aside. He hasnt finished eating but at this point he doesnt care, he needs you. Finally, you shove down your shorts and panties, he watches as you do so and immediately goes to grab your ass. He lifts his hips up slightly, the tip rubbing against your bare slit which causes you to gasp and throw your head back. "Ahh jake..." gripping onto his shoulders, you finally sink down onto his length, only halfway though since he's big.
"fuck babygirl!" he moans out loudly, digging his nails into your hips. Your body is already shaking but you havent even taken it all yet. "shit your so tight..." his words made your eyes roll back, and with one swift movement you finally sink all the way down, taking every inch of him. You let out a loud moan that echoes around the living room, jakes mouth is slightly opened from the pleasure of being inside of you almost too much. After a few seconds of adjusting to his size, you slowly start moving up and down on his cock.
Jake tilts his head back against the couch, his hand on the small of your back. "So big-..." you whine out, gripping tightly on his shoulders for leverage as you begin to bounce up and down on his cock wildy. The quiet room being filled with nothing but skin slapping against skin.
"Ahhhh... ohhh..." is all that came out of your mouth. "princess... your riding it like a pro," He breathes out. Your lost in pleasure, whimpering and moaning loud enough for the neighbours to hear. "F...fuck jake, it feels so-..." his large hands wrap around your waist, helping you keep up with your pace on his cock. "yeah?... yeah it feels good baby?" He says with shakey breaths in between, "fuckkk yeah... your riding my cock stupid arent you slut? cant speak huh?" His dirty talk just makes your whole body tremble, almost completely losing it. "please... dont stop baby..."
You move your hips in a circle motion, his length plunging so deep inside of you it feels like your in ecstasy. His thick cock splitting your pussy open and stretching your inner walls to the limit. "J..jake i might-" you get cut off when you feel him slam his hips upward, bucking his hips wildly causing a loud scream of pleasure to come out of your mouth. He leans forward, sucking a hickey into the soft flesh of your neck as he continues to ruthlessly pump his cock in and out of your sopping wet pussy. Slightly pulling your hair back.
"what was that babygirl?" He grunts out, chuckling softly, "I... im gonna cum!" Your voice is high pitched as he holds you in place, bouncing you aggressively on his shaft. "cum for me princess..." and with that, you reached your climax, cumming hard on his dick. Jake's cock was pulsing violently inside you. "fuck yeah..." He lets out a loud, animalistic grunt as he starts to cum, his hot load erupting deep inside your pussy in thick, powerful spurts. "FUCK!" He shouts in pleasure, his head falling back against the couch as you collapse ontop of him.
The both of you are breathless for a few moments before you speak up quietly, "Was it good?" Jake pants heavily, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. "damn near broke my dick it was so good..." He kisses your throat, his hands roaming back down to grab your thighs and caress them softly. "shit, i love you princess," He whispers softly into your ear. "I love you too baby," you reply.
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💘: ok i ended up writing a bit more than intended!!!! Anyways i hope this was good AHH💕
#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen hard thoughts#jake hard thoughts#jake x reader#jake fanfic#jake smut#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#enhypen fanfic
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Hiii! I was wondering if I could request either long or short fic about Tenya Iida. Likes it can be set in a modern setting where's he's a senior college student who's majoring in business and he has to take one more class to get his degree. It just so happened that the class is in the art building, and it is figure drawing (aka nude drawing) . Since he's just now hearing of the extra class he has to take, he's suddenly shocked when the model is an old friend of his from back home, whom he had a childhood crush on. Not only does his feelings for her come back, but he also has to have 1 on 1 section with the model for educational purposes. I kinda want it to be smut and fluff or however you see it fit. Anyway, I hope it's enough+
hi babe! omg I love this idea I kinda went a lil crazy and made it way too long. I hope u enjoy :)!!
𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙬𝙣 𝙏𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧
word count: 3.5k
mentions of: This is really just the fluff portion of it, kinda suggestive bc he pops a boner and leads to sex in part two. I think I’m going to make a third part simply so the two of you can go on a genuine date andsotheresmoreiidaxblackreaderouthere.
a/n: hells yeah that’s enough, hopefully I did what ya asked and so sorry I went overboard I have serious problems. here’s the smut part bc a 6.7k fic is doing too damn much but i can’t stfu my fault gang
moodboard here!
Tenya Iida.
4th year, Senior in college majoring in International Business and minoring in Spanish at Angelwood College of Arts and Sciences.
The visual arts building had only been a few minutes away from the business side of campus, which he gladly enjoyed the walk. This spring all he needed to finish was two gen ed classes, the rest revolved around his major and minor. His counselor helped set up his ‘missing’ classes before winter break considering he had to fly back to Japan to see his family for the holidays. He was ecstatic to learn all he needed was an art class with lab and a communications class.
When he asked what the class entailed, all he was met with was “beginner artists learning anatomy.” It didn’t sound difficult, just draw what you see. It would be nice to try something new anyway. He was not much of an artist but like all things Tenya does, he planned to give this class his all. The first week had been pretty easy, learning how to draw what you see with the use of models, shapes, and lines. Nothing too hard to follow. He would practice drawing his friends on the sketchpad he bought specifically for the class as a form of studying in the free time he had.
He neverminded it for the most part, excelling his knowledge in different countries in his free time to get better at his major. Sure they could teach you the technical way to do things, but in the end, everyone is still human. It would be inconsiderate to do business with a country and know little to nothing about their culture! It took almost two weeks for him to finally be able to even start the art project anyway.
As time went on and the January snow grew less and less, it was time to start their first real project of the semester. One on One figure drawing. The class needed to fill out a form explaining their free hours due to the limited art space and everyone's different schedules. Tenya happily filled it out when it was posted, continuing to work on class work from the library so that the lecture room could also be used for said project.
Their professor had explained that in-person class would remain on Mondays and Thursdays. It just worked out better for the models and students to have so much space.
He made the small walk over to the arts building for his last class of the day, a small shine in his glasses as he entered the white light of the room. The walls were anything but bare, artwork and unfinished projects sat in every corner of the room. Paint racks, canvases big and small, even stacks of unused clay. There was a stool sitting on a small platform in the middle of the room, assuming where the model will sit.
He stood next to the stool for a moment, looking up at the grey February sky through the skylight. The natural lighting was great, almost like a spotlight. He adjusted the lights in the room a moment, dimming them slightly so the white light hadn’t been so harsh on his eyes. He headed over to a more organized table, setting out the art supplies how he liked. He knew he was early, but he wanted to make a good first impression. What’s better than being on time?
He pulled out his laptop, checking that the few assignments for today were done and submitted. A small frown tugged at his lips as he realized he hadn’t finished something completely, typing in the last few answers. He always double checked, technology was reliable.. When it wanted to be. He couldn’t hear the shuffle of slippers against the floor over his typing and frankly, loud thinking.
He could see someone walk past in a teal robe representing the university's colors. Glancing up from the computer to give the model a proper hello, Tenya opens his mouth to speak but pauses.
“Y/n?” He asked, almost in a whisper in case he was wrong. A small look of confusion caused him to tilt his head to the side slightly. He hadn’t been able to see you for awhile with such busy schedules, but he knew your silhouette by heart.
You turn at the sound of your name, mid sliding off the slippers and fumbling with the gold silk of the belt. “Tenya?” You smile, asking as you turn to slide your shoes back on and quickly shuffle your way over to him. He felt his face burn red, frozen in place for a moment with his jaw slack. He stood as if needing to detach from the seat, smiling at your happy demeanor and your quickness to wrap your arms around him.
“It is you! I know those shoulders from anywhere!” You beamed, feeling his hovering hands slowly place themselves on your back to return the hug. He was very hesitant, simply because you were only in a robe. You pull away, hands resting on your hips and giving him a big smile. “Now what are you doin’ taking a figure drawing class, Mister businessman?”
He let out a sheepish chuckle, “I needed an art credit, W-What are u doing here?” He never had any classes with you at Angelwood, A few honors classes and gym in highschool but other than that, nada. Throughout the course of growing up, your interests drove you to different classes.
However, classes don't matter when your families are as close as yours and the Iida family. Shared Holidays, playdates, game nights.. It wasn’t like you were some stranger. You both always made time to hang out a few times during the year to catch up without the family just to give a real check on each other. It was his favorite, almost like a mini holiday to talk to you.
He loved spending time with you. You were smart, articulated and incredibly creative. You never took slack from anyone.. Even in middle school he can remember you being the one to stand up and say something when things weren’t right. You were headstrong and determined in anything that you did.. Art majors always get a lot of grief but you never let that deter you. And that was admirable in itself! ..And he had always thought you were so pretty.
He felt like a kid again, heart feeling as if it’d beat out of his chest at the mere sight of you. It had been around Halloween the last time he saw you, and here it was. Almost Valentine's day.. Still as pretty and bright as he remembered. Your next hangout wasn't for another month or so, so it was nice to see you sooner than that.
“I'm your model, silly!” You head over to the stool, continuing to speak. “The art department asked if I’d help in modeling and I said yes! People were too scared to sign up for the most part. I’m surprised this is the class you picked. Did you want to learn how to draw people?” You slide your slippers off once more, untying the cute bow on your hip that held your robe shut.
Suddenly the room was very hot and he couldn't breathe. Now his heart really WAS beating out of his chest. He quickly did a 180, shielding his eyes and removing his glasses for extra measure. “WHY– do yoU have.. nothing on underrrrneath?” He croaked, voice cracking as his tone raised slightly.
You tilt your head at such a question, the gears clicking a little later than they should have. “Figure drawing is um.. Nude drawing, Tenya. You didn't know that?” You slide the robe back on, giggling at the flustered man across from you. You could see his shoulders tense, shaking his head slowly.
Now how the fuck could he have missed that.
“I um.. No, I didn't. I thought that it was.. I don't know what I thought. My counselor picked it for me and I.. Most models we've used so far have.. had skin colored undergarments… On.” He let out a nervous laugh, keeping his glasses off. He turns around, cleaning them with the end of his shirt but refusing to look up at you. He needed to mentally prepare his brain to be professional in a situation like this. Not that he minded the glance, he just never thought this would be how..
You prop your feet onto the edge of the stool, interrupting his thought. You held your knees up to your chest so he couldn’t see anything but your bare legs. “Oh Ten, I’m sorry! I can ask someone else to-”
“No! I am perfectly.. capable. It's professional and I can be.. professional..” He put his glasses back on, hand refusing to be steady as he did so. He let out a shaky sigh, smiling at you and finally looking at you once more.
You let out a small laugh at the blush on his cheeks. He was so handsome, but to see him so flustered over little ol’ you? It made your week. “We can start slow, that might help.” you slide the robe down your shoulders, slowly putting your legs back down so he could see your robed torso once more. You stopped at the top of your breasts, letting your collarbone show. “Do you have any specific poses..?” You ask quietly, trying to hold back your amusement.
He sits down, red faced and completely flushed. A nude model.. jeez. From sleepovers to recess, studying together to graduating, and now almost graduating for the final time together. That's something you don’t get to have in every lifetime. But why do these thoughts keep coming back to him now?
There was no way he could still have romantic feelings for you. He’d never put your friendship at risk like that!
..right?
“I um.. yeah, small.” He cleared his throat, “Could you um.. Could you stand slightly off of the um.. Almost like getting up?” He fumbled over his words, staring at the empty paper as if he could burn the quick image in his brain onto the page to get the embarrassment over with. He sighed once more, trying to focus as he began sketching circles and lines as a starter sketch of the pose he wanted.
“When you need to draw a certain part I'll move it, Sound fair?” You ask, resting one foot onto the stool and one onto the ground. Your hand gripped the seat as your butt sat on the edge, similar to when people do that supposedly hot thing where they throw their head back and pull some weird rope to have water get poured on them.
It was second nature at this point for people to see you. Of course some of them were flustered and it was pretty awkward at first, but normally not to the point of stuttering and stammering. It wasn’t often that you saw Tenya fall apart, but this was way different. Especially considering you flashed him without warning. He was one of the most endearing people you had ever met, there was no way you would have done that without proper context.
He could only nod in response, not wanting to further make a fool of himself. Lightly tapping the pencil against the table, He looks up at you. “You can um.. re.. remove the top part, y/n..” It was hard to simply draw your arms and collarbone without including the robe, so you might as well rip the band-aid off and start with the top.
You nod, dropping it happily and letting the robe pull around your hips and between your legs. You close your eyes, facing up toward the skylight in an attempt to make him less nervous. “Sorry for flashing you at first, I would have explained but I assumed you had already known..?” You laugh quietly to yourself at your own mistake. Why would someone like him even take this class if he knew what it actually entailed?
And God, did he feel like a pervert staring at your chest like this. The boner poking his thigh almost immediately didn't help, making it even harder to concentrate. Way to keep composure. He pressed his lips together for a moment before speaking. “I had no idea, I’m sorry for my r..reaction.” He answered, stopping the pencil tapping to actually begin sketching more than just circles and lines. He hadn’t meant to yell, but he felt like he was close to passing out.
“I think it was a pretty valid one.” You send a reassuring smile his way, seeing him send you one right back. Trying to ease the mood, you look back up at the ceiling and close your eyes to avoid staring at the ugly overcast sky above you. “How was winter break? You get to go home and see your family? How are they?”
His smile grew wider at your question, scooting under the desk a bit more so that you hopefully wouldn’t notice his body reacting. “They’re great, Tensei is getting married soon,” He sounded excited at the thought alone, incredibly proud of his brother.
“And my mother has started a hobby making soap, if you can believe it. She sent me some to bring back one that smells like lavender and another that smells like oranges mixed with I believe she said papaya.? She made a coconut smelling one for you– I was going to give it to you the next time we saw each other,”
The sound of his sketching stopped and started as he spoke, giving your body small glances as he tried to study each part of your upper torso. The way your stomach creased, The way your shoulder was slightly lifted causing your collarbone to be more prominent, the curve of your breasts.. “How was your Holiday, y/n?”
“No way, Tensei is getting married?!” You accidentally stop posing, fully facing him in genuine shock. The robe was still covering your lower half, you had tied the belt to avoid accidentally flashing him again but here we are. You watch his face become even more red, eyes very obviously not meeting yours but still like a deer in headlights.
You quickly get back to posing how you were, “Sorry Ten, That's amazing!! I hope everything goes smoothly for him and his soon to be wife.. And tell your mommy I said thank you for thinking of me. I can't wait to try it!”
A smile stayed on your lips as you thought about the times you’ve spent in the Iida household. His mother always had the best candles and incense burning, you were positive the soap would be the same. “My family is up to the same old shit, you know them..” You let out a small groan, the holidays weren’t an absolute disaster, but after not being home so long makes you remember why you aren’t going to school anywhere near home.
“I did get some cool stuff for Christmas though! I got some new clothes and they got me a few art kits. You know, where it teaches you how to crochet? I also have a new diamond painting kit, I haven't opened either yet because it's just been so busy.” You replied, tapping your fingers on the side of the stool where your hand sat.
You look up once more, this time because the skylight was beginning to be covered in snow. You watched as it fell, thinking back to old times when you and Tenya would spend the last three major holidays with each other. You’d always make sure to trick or treat together, your families have been sharing Thanksgiving for as long as you can remember, and spending the night in your basement on Christmas eve to wait for Santa until you were both too old. Then instead of waiting for Santa, you’d all eat at least one meal together on Christmas day. Sometimes homemade breakfast, other times a small trip to IHOP or Waffle House.
“God damn it.. It’s snowing again..” You let out a small laugh, looking over at him over your shoulder, fingers still tapping away at the base of the stool. “Hey Ten, Do you remember when we used to have those big snowball fights? The one near Red Fern?”
“Of course I do! You refused to wear any kind of gloves and my mother would make you at least put socks on your hands so you didn’t get frostbite!” The two of you shared a small laugh at the memories of being young and dumb.
“Gloves always made my hands too itchy! They still do– But I kicked your ass in snowball fights with gloves or not.” You retort, a smirk appearing on your face. “Ice queen y/n of everything.” You could remember the insane snowball fights the neighborhood kids would have every. time. It snowed. If there was enough to make a few snowballs, there was enough to start a war. Tenya was always on your team, but it never stopped you from throwing a few his way. The ‘winner’ was King or Queen of the hill and first to sled down, which often enough was you.
“Remember when you almost broke my glasses throwing one right at my face?” He snickered, watching your smirk turn into a small pouty frown. He knew you didn’t mean to, that same day you helped your mom make cookies for him and his family as an apology, even though he wasn’t upset to begin with. But you knew it could have broken his glasses and you would be devastated if you were the reason for it. You were a real sweetheart, even if you had a weird way of showing sometimes.
“Hey! You know that wasn’t on purpose, I felt really bad after! I even let you get me back!” Which was true, but he never aimed for your face. Always a spot on your fluffy coat, never your legs because you hated your pants being wet… and a face shot just felt wrong to him.
“Yeah, Yeah. I remember that part too,” He smiled to himself. “Those were really good times.. I remember Tensei always bringing us hot chocolate and we’d sit on your porch and draw things in the snow..”
“Oh! And when we’d come back all wet and mom already had spare clothes in her hands because she didn’t want it on the carpet. We’d put on too big clothes just to sit and watch Christmas movies..” You missed those times. But they never really had to stop, you two could have a huge snowball fight after this if you wanted to and the snow stuck. Was he too grown for that? Would it even sound fun to him?
“Do you still watch A Year Without Santa Clause every year?” He asks, breaking your train of thought. You nodded quickly at his question, grinning like a maniac. “Of course I do! And I watch Charlie Brown’s Christmas, Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer.. And sometimes Spongebob's Christmas Special. Do you still watch old Christmas cartoons?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Don’t wanna ruin tradition.” He answered, pressing his lips together slightly as he stared down at the paper. You can tell he freezes a bit, the sound of his scribbling coming to a stop. He set the pencil down, rubbing the sweat of his hands onto his thighs.
“You can um.. remOove-..” He quickly cleared his throat, “The rest.” He let out a disappointed sigh at his inability to keep composure. This wouldn't be half the problem it was if it was someone else modeling. But this is you we're talking about.
“You sure? If you need a minute we can take a break, honey.” You gave him a sympathetic look, still smiling but this time more.. warm. The kind of smile someone gives to another when they genuinely care for them. Or love them for that matter. He adored it, it was the same smile you'd give him when saying he needs to take a break, the same smile you give him when the two of you out to get coffee and catch up. The same smile he's fallen for many, many times.
But to tell you the truth? It’s driving him crazy. All of this. Was driving him crazy. No matter how hard he tried to be professional, he could stop his wandering mind. You were a goddess. What else was there to do besides take a break and hopefully release some steam in the bathroom or something. Completely inappropriate, but the pain from being hard for so long was starting to cloud the best judgment.
He looks down at the sketch so far, then back to you as he rubbed his hand upward against his face. It pushed his glasses up, causing them to be crooked when going back down. “I um.. I think I do.. need a minute.” His voice died out as he watched you slide the robe back on, words failing him because couldn’t think completely straight.
© if you like what you see please reblog! It means a lot and helps me out. Want more? Heres my m.list! I write for x black reader so throw me some requests :P my other account are icons and x black reader moodboards if you’re interested!
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Am I The Problem? | Franco Colapinto x Williams! Reader
Summary: After finding out you were going to be teammates, you and Franco have very different reactions. Franco is prepared to worship the track you race on whilst you do everything to ignore him. Until it becomes impossible to
Warnings: angst, swearing, the loss of a family member, a suggestive comment
Requested: Yes by anon (full request)
F1 Masterlist
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williamsracing just posted
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liked by jensonbutton, jackdoohan and others
francolapinto dream reality
18,200 comments
williamsracing welcome to the team. we’re so excited to have you become part of the williams family
user1 so they’re replacing logan, an f2 driver promoted to f1 too soon, with an f2 driver promoted to f1 too soon?
officialmpmotorsport we’re very proud of what you’ve achieved this season, and good luck in f1
user2 this doesn’t feel fair. he’s getting a seat (amazing) but will be paired with a driver who doesn’t want him there
dennis_hauger 👏🏻👏🏻
user3 has anyone checked on yn? she was always so happy to be racing alongside her childhood friend, and now they don’t even get to finish the season together
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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and others
yn_ln i knew i was going to have to say goodbye at some point but i never expected it to be so soon. i couldn't have asked for a better teammate but at least you’ll always be my friend. i’ll miss you so much, lo lo, but i will be there supporting you wherever you go next
23,096 comments
logansargeant 🤍
→ user4 signs of life!
→ user5 the fact that she is the only person he has responded to
user6 even when she’s devasted, she stays respectful. literally the perfect role model for girls in karting
user7 chat, do we think yn will stay with williams next year?
→ user8 i don’t think she even wants to stay with williams for the rest of the season
→ user9 she looks so miserable any time she’s with them/james vowels
user10 poor franco. she didn’t even congratulate him on any of the posts
→ user11 because she doesn’t have to
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yn_ln posted a new story
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logansargeant replied wow so i really am easy to replace → yn_ln lo, no… → logansargeant how many more times are you going to fall for that? → yn_ln dickhead → logansargeant the internet was right. you are the personification of satan → yn_ln 🖕🏻🖕🏻
oscarpiastri replied haha the heart eyes are winning you over → yn_ln you can’t say anything, lando lover → oscarpiastri 🙄
user12 replied girl, did you cover up James’ face? 😂
francolapinto replied is that me??
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Thumb scrolling down your feed, you couldn't stop the wounded look twisting your face. Numerous tweets glanced back at you, informing you that your teammate’s fans had a very low opinion of you. Was it really a shock that you wouldn’t like journalists hounding your teammate? Had you truly been that mean to him that signs of basic human decency came as a surprise?
The door to your driver’s room was cracked open slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of the disconsolate body that shuffled past. A cap covered his usual mop of curls and his head hung low. All he wanted was to hide away in his driver’s room. Away from the hustle and bustle of the garage. All alone.
“Franco.”
A soft voice broke him from his sorrow. He’d never heard it say his name before, and he’d certainly never heard that gentle tone directed at him. His head snapped up in disbelief. Spinning around, he moved too fast and stumbled slightly. A pink flush decorated his cheeks, realising he’d just embarrassed himself in front of the woman finally talking to him. Your head poked out of the gap between your door and the wall. Almost hesitant to bridge the space between the two of you. You weren’t even fully aware of when you had moved, or decided to talk to him. But here you were, staring at his brown eyes, widened with scepticism.
Committing to your actions, you pushed yourself into the hallway. Unused to such close proximity to you, Franco took two shaky steps back. He could almost feel the wall behind him.
“I heard about your grandfather. I just wanted to offer my condolences.” Your teeth pulled at your bottom lip. “The media were out of line this morning.”
“Oh, thank you.”
Uncomfortable silence stretched between the pair of you. A need to fill it swelled within you.
“Nobody would blame you if you needed the day off. It’s not like we’re going to win any points in the Sprint.”
“I bet you’d like that. A race without me,” his tone was sharp, edged with grief.
It was a stark contrast to the light, playful timbre you’d become accustomed to hearing around the garage. Hurt briefly flickered across your face, causing him to almost regret his words. But he’d had enough.
He was tired. He was hurt, and he was not in the mood to be treated like he wasn’t there. Every day he hoped that you would finally speak to him. That you would smile at him, or share the glowing personality you had around the rest of the Grid. When he was still in F2, he’d been lucky enough to spend a day or two with you, and you’d been so warm and inviting. But, the person he was introduced to when he replaced Logan Sargeant hadn’t shown any sign of the person from before.
“Wait, what? No. Franco, I just… Look, I found out from Twitter and-”
“It’s not like you give me the chance to tell you things in person.”
Rubbing your hand over your face, you pondered whether you were doing more damage than good. All you wanted was to make amends, and not treat him like shit on a shitty day. Realising you couldn't make things worse, you decided to own up to your less-than-stellar behaviour.
“Franco, I just wanted to say… I don’t really know what to say. Other than that, I am so incredibly sorry for the way that I’ve acted these past couple of weeks. Believe me, I’m not proud of my actions, and it’s been made very clear to me that I could be ruining your dream.”
Your feet very subtly shifted closer to him, and his body was acutely aware of the smaller window of space between the two of you. The hairs on the back of his neck raised when the scent of your perfume invaded his nose. He loved that smell.
“I’ve been so terrible to you. The internet knows that I’ve been terrible to you. And what makes it all that much worse, is that it doesn’t really have anything to do with you.”
Franco watched you inhale deeply before barrelling forward with your heartfelt apology. Your nose had pinkened from the exertion of your speech. Franco decided it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.
“The truth is, I was angry. I was angry at the team, and the management, and the way they treated Logan was horrendous. But I didn’t realise that I was then doing the same thing to you, and I’m really sorry. I’m aware that none of this justifies my behaviour or makes it right but I just need you to know how much I regret what I’ve done. You’re so talented, Franco. If you had joined the team at any other time, I would’ve been flattered that you were so excited to be my teammate. I still am and-”
“Querida, breathe.” Franco’s lips curled in the corner. A small smile but the first time he had done so since yesterday. “I get it. You’re sorry. You were still mean though.”
Your heart fluttered at the affectionate term he’d used. After years of working with Spanish drivers, you’d picked up a few words here and there. Unfortunately, his following words ruined any hope you’d felt.
Scuffing your shoe against the floor, you avoided looking at him. “I know. I know. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”
Franco reached out, taking your hand into his. His palm was warm and heated against your cold, almost clammy one. He was endeared by how nervous you seemed to be. At his touch, your head finally lifted to look at him. You were taken aback when your eyes met his, realising he was already staring at you.
“You could always give me your seat.” He let out a booming laugh at the look of shock on your face.
“Oh, I get it, you’re winding me up.” You pushed him away from you but your combined hands just ended up pulling you into him.”
“I wasn’t lying in those interviews. You really are one of my idols. It’s going to take a bit more than a tantrum for me to be mad at you. However, if you really feel you need to make it up to me, I’m not going to object.”
A body turned the corner, causing you to leap away from the Argentinian. His eyes twinkled as he did his best to keep his face neutral. You scrambled to compose yourself when John, your physiotherapist, glanced between the two of you. He raised his brows before walking past you and into your driver’s room.
“You have 30 seconds, Yn, to finish your conversation and get your ass in here.” He closed the door behind him, allowing you some privacy.
Franco turned to walk away, knowing you liked to run on a tight schedule, and not wanting to infringe on that when you seemed to be making a shaky form of peace.
“Dinner!” You blurted out, voice bouncing off the white plastic walls.
Staring at his muscular back, you watched his shoulders shake with silent laughter before he turned back to look at you.
“What about it?”
“Do you eat it?” How were you making this worse!?
“Yes, every day.”
He wasn’t making this easy on you.
“Maybe, if you’re not busy this evening, I could buy you dinner when we get out of here.”
“It would have to be early. I don’t know if you know this but I have a very busy day tomorrow.”
“I think I prefer not talking to you.”
“I’d love to have dinner with you, Cariño,” Franco smiled, “so long as you don’t spend the entire meal sullenly glaring at me. It seems to be a habit with you.”
An irritated shout of your name sounded from inside your room, reminding you that you were well past your allotted thirty seconds.
Not wanting Franco to have the last word, you looked at Franco before you entered your room. “I’m not sorry that I snuck an LS2 cap into your pile of hats to sign.”
His face turns from pure adoration to unadulterated offence. “That was you?!”
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yn_ln just posted
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its_yn my boy 💕
23,431 comments
williamsracing took team bonding to a new level
→ francolapinto i aim to please
user13 i knew that episode of team torque was carrying a different kind of tension
→ user14 no because he was so giggly and she was giving him full on banter
→ user15 let’s not ignore how she kept blushing when she caught him looking at her
user16 she fell victim to the heart eyes
→ yn_ln how could i not? have you seen how intense they are?
user17 oh no because now how do we tell who the biggest simp is
francolapinto my lips are still waiting for that kiss
→ yn_ln come here then
→ francolapinto 🏃🏽🏃🏽💋
→ user18 oh no. now we have to deal with this instead
logansargeant excuse me but where is his shirt in that last picture
→ oscarpiastri completely scandalous behaviour. reported
→ yn_ln piss off the pair of you
→ logansargeant @/oscarpiastri pay up. she did my thing first
→ oscarpiastri technically she did my thing first
→ francolapinto she did both in the same day
→ yn_ln franco!
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