#your daily DERANGED posting about this ship courtesy of me enjoy

[musical-chick-13]

who is your favorite iteration of the doctor to be shipped with river?

I thought a lot about my answer to this, and unfortunately I am going to give the BIGGEST cop-out of a response and say that I can't actually choose between Eleven and Twelve 😭😭

Just for the sake of having an answer, I'll say Twelve, just because he's my favorite Doctor. (And as much as I love it when characters are so broken up about losing people they love that they can't even talk about it--i.e. series 7 Eleven--I do very much appreciate the fact that we got to see Twelve actually consistently grieve onscreen. Also don't TALK to me about how the specific type of goodness he was able to successfully impart to Missy-about helping someone even when there's little to no chance of it succeeding, of getting anything good out of it for yourself, or of the other person ever knowing about it-CAME DIRECTLY FROM RIVER.)

But I really don't have like. A Specific Preference. I skew more toward the Doctors we've seen River interact with onscreen (and specifically during the Moffat Era because as everyone knows it's my favorite, lol), but I've really liked the fic I've read of her with Eight, and some of the stuff in the supplementary materials has gotten me to come around on her with Ten as well (I am notably not a Particularly Huge Fan of Ten). And I also even wrote a story once about her and Thirteen (that I then orphaned later for very stupid reasons). (It's here, if anyone's interested.)

All this being said, I wouldn't have fallen in love with this ship as much as I have if Eleven/River didn't exist. Twelve/River sees them both finally on the same page, and the whole "HE WOULDN'T BE IN LOVE ENOUGH TO BE STANDING [IN DANGER] WITH ME (*has actually been in the middle of said danger the entire time because he is in love enough*) was...look, that CHANGED MY BRAIN. PERMANENTLY. But I don't think people appreciate how truly DERANGED Eleven and River are.

She insults him/makes him look stupid and he just goes like this -> 😍. He starts accepting his interest in her WHEN HE LEARNS SHE'S IN PRISON FOR MURDER (probably for murdering him). They get so caught up in flirting (over River being A Scary Person specifically) that they completely forget that their best friend/family member is in the room with them and also in extreme danger. She expresses her affection by shooting his ridiculous hats off of his head. "Are you married/are you asking/yes." (*cue the most charmed expression on his face to ever exist*) "It's a shame you were busy that day" (<-because she had POISONED HIM AND HE WAS DYING). "And unlike me, she really doesn't mind shooting people, I shouldn't like that, kind of do a bit." "You graffiti-ed the oldest cliff face in the universe!"/"Well you wOuLdN't aNsWeR yOuR pHoNe." "You've got that face on again"/"What face?"/"The 'he's hot when he's clever' face"/"This is my normal face"/"Yes it is." "I do NOT sneak out at night to parties with RIVER SONG"/"How is she?"/"Fine. 😊"

His response to someone bringing her up and mentioning that she tried to kill him is "totally married her XD." She confessed her love to him via "getting the whole universe to mention how much they need him and agreed to marry him and he's still like, "Oh, gotta go check my fucking hair before I say hello to her again" in TATM. (Fun fact, the "Sorry honey, traffic was hell" line was originally, "Traffic was a bitch" which would have been the like. Highest-level curse word we've ever seen this man say, and it would have been in the context of trying to cleverly greet River which AGAIN, DERANGED BEHAVIOR.)

Fixed point that would destroy the universe if it were messed with? Too bad! Not if she thinks she has to kill him! "I'LL SUFFER IF I HAVE TO KILL YOU, MORE THAN EVERY LIVING THING IN THE UNIVERSE" OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD. (<-Worth noting that he calls her out over this for all of about two minutes before deciding the best way out of the situation is having an impromptu wedding.) She tells him TO HIS FACE "When I was little, I wanted to marry you" and then ALMOST INTENTIONALLY PERMANENTLY KILLS HIM LIKE TWO MINUTES LATER. He's dying on the floor in Berlin and still has the energy to go absolutely FERAL over the idea of someone hurting her. In the series 7 finale, she isn't even tangible and only exists through a conduit in Clara's head and he goes, "Too bad! I can hold you and kiss you and talk with you because I miss you, screw the actual laws of physics." (And then he's like, "Hmm, I probably look stupid right now. Oh well, back to talking to my wife, who I refused to say goodbye to for God Knows How Long because I would have been too sad.")

HE FALLS FOR HER POISONING GAMBIT BECAUSE HE'S HAVING TOO MUCH FUN FLIRTING WITH HER.

DUDE.

(Like, Twelve is also Deranged™ about her too, as evidenced by responding to her threat of cutting out his organs in alphabetical order with, "Which alphabet" and being jealous at the MOST inopportune times and, while in the middle of them fighting over who gets to risk sacrificing themselves, saying, "NOT ONE LIVING THING IS WORTH YOU" which is. Sure a line!!! That sure lives in my head rent-free!!!!! Also they have a Bonding Moment™ about carrying a severed head around in a bag. But the absolute INSANITY that goes on between River and Eleven is. Incredible.)

.........uhhhhh this. This got away from me. I also didn't really answer your question. Sorry? (<-Not actually sorry.)