#allow yourself to be weak and cry that's fine ... your human after all so why deny human's natrual ?

[haru-chi]

I'm sorry if I had worried anyone yesterday ... I didn't mean to ...

I think I even kinda regret having worried my sister because I asked for little help which she couldn't do so got worried ...

I then called my friend after that which was very late at night 3AM .... she got also worried cuz I never ever did that ...

I hate this .... I really do .... because I do know none can help me in this, it's my own battle so why worry them

Wanted to vent here for a bit and I'm sorry if made someone worry ...

[cialovesklopp]

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍 ➺ k.mbappé

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — realizing that one is actually in love is a process being done with your best friends

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 6.2k

𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — actually don't know why this chapter was so difficult to write so i hope it turned out fine. it's kind of a filler chapter but only preparing you for what's about to come also wanna thank my bestie @cl16version for helping me write this chapter, don't think i would have finished without her

mon amour — masterlist

every relationship is built on love and trust. both so different and yet, deep down, are based on the same fundament. 

the history of love and its different types went back decades; maybe even centuries. in definition, english literature has found it to be a simple feeling of deep affection and intimacy. but it was also the same english literary, that had given the word « love » a much important, higher meaning.

shakespeare’s romeo and juliet had opened the world to different types of love, erasing the standard of the typical love scenarios known to the world and making place for the difficult and painful ones. but whether it was the most powerful one, had never been known to humans. 

were feelings of hatred and disdain turned into passionate feelings stronger than the love, built up on years of friendship? the affection that grew after years of true care for each other? the true kind of love could not find its veritable definition. the connection based on the free will of two people somehow defied physics when it was analyzed deeply. 

but trust was not any easier. in fact it turned out to be even harder because how could one person be able to trust another person blindly? when one doesn’t even trust himself, how would one be able to trust another human, with the same flaws as itself?

for amara, love had always been somewhat suspicious to her. the idea of sharing herself to another person, letting that person into the deepest parts of her did not seem very appealing to her. she could never truly let go of her. if you wanted to love her, you had to satisfy yourself with the 90% she allowed you to have. and yet, even with her carefulness and high-alert to it, she had trusted and given 95% of herself. 

she couldn’t trust anymore — how could she? not when the additional five percent she had allowed evan to have, had been used against her. he had humiliated her before breaking her heart. the stepping and trashing of it did not help her very much. but the trust she had given away and it had been misused, she would always cry after it. 

evan and her had lived in completely different worlds and yet a whisper of media and suddenly they found themselves on the same platform. maybe if she never had gone to that beauty event, he wouldn’t have talked to her. and her so-called friends could have never pushed her to seek after him if they hadn’t been captured by the press. the moment she would have tasted the poison of him — the moment she should read the articles of him and her instead of crushing on him — she would’ve spit him out and left his radar at the first chance she would have got. 

she had been naive back then. a child thrown into the celebrity world with no one to guide her, fresh meat for the hungry wolves, just waiting for a weak lamb to stumble upon them. it was clear that he had used her — the young rising star, being thrown into the industry without any knowledge — it was easy to use her. to amara, evan represented the false friend, the crisis of her faith when she had not been sure whether to even accept his invitation. 

amara had seen the red flags and deliberately chosen to ignore them — her first mistake. she knew she should have left him when he had started downgrading her but she stayed — her second mistake. another door had opened when she had met his parents and they had undermined her, racist side marks the entire evening and she had taken them all and yet she had stayed. another mistake. there had been so many signs that she had chosen to ignore — simply, because he had made her feel loved, desired. and the bullet had hit her when her safety bubble had burst. 

it had never been clear to her what had been her motive. why she couldn’t have just gone on her way instead of blushing and attire his attention. evan had never made it worth staying, amara realized as she looked back even though deep down she knew the reason. why she had never left. 

evan had always given her enough to make her stay, ignore the bright red flags and issues he had. she had been young, a fresh adult with no experiences on love. he had realized quickly, he had enough good to make her stay through the bad. to never even question a leave. she endured cheating scandals because he knew how to win her back, he knew how to make the bad outweigh the good for a moment before all began again. 

in the end, she celebrated his love and he tolerated it. 

she regretted a lot of thing but mostly, the loss of her innocent adult years. where memories used to be things that made her smile and not emotions that could be used as weapon. every touch he had left on her had turned out to be a scar, ugly and dark, carving her for life. she had not planned on trusting again.

and then life introduced her to kylian.

he somehow made the idea of love less disgusting. showed her the kind type of love that also existed. that next to painful and unstable it could also be reassuring and calming. still it wasn’t sufficient for an “us”. and kylian was left, picking up the pieces. 

the longer she stayed in her relationship, the smaller the pieces got, her heart breaking so many times, some pieces would never be found again. but kylian had found a solution — he would fill the gaps with love. and somehow it was working and she found herself falling again, the easy part of love.

their relationship was blooming like the first flower fighting her way through after decades of ice growing over its ground. he broke the high walls that had built around her, had formed a security wall. a new bond had been created between them, building and strengthening over their deepness and the easiness of being vulnerable in front of each other. 

that they knew where they were standing with each other, made it even easier for amara. she could be open with kylian, there were no overthinkings with him, no contemplating.  her relationship with kylian allowed her to be her own true self. 

and the changes of it were quickly recognisable, with smiles becoming more and more frequent. gloomy eyes were replaced with bright grins and her eyes were slowly starting to regain their twinkle back, the origin of her success and career. 

with kylian waiting for amara to get her trust and confidence back, the singer started to open up more, go back to her old sunshine-self as she had been known as. the balance in her life was restoring, equalizing her career and private life again. and amara could go back to living in bliss, actually experiencing the innocent feeling of amore, she had not been allowed to feel during her time with evan. 

she was falling hard like a plane flying straight-down to the ground. the overwhelming rush of emotions flooding her heart, becoming more and more each second she passed with the french striker. the realization had struck her at night, as she had worked on her song, hitting her with the speed of lighting: she was undeniably in love with him. 

she was swimming in a sea of emotions, with no shore or land in sight. her eyes viewed kylian in a different light now — he wasn’t the charming footballer anymore, with easygoing and playful character. instead he had upgraded to the man, who had giving her inspiration again. her muse and for amara, this held higher significance than anything else. 

how she had ever lived without him, she didn’t know. how could she have made all these days in Paris without the air in her apartment spreading the scent of love and comfort, the certain safety that looked everywhere whenever he was there. she cherished every second spent in his presence, treasuring each moment as if it were a precious gem.

Amara had given kylian everything. she was willing to repeat her mistake, let him have a part of her she had never given away before. all the times she stood in front of the mirror and since the entry of his life, all of sudden she saw herself different. as if she had never seen herself before. 

and kylian knew she was scared. he was aware she was hoping to be spared of all this, the process of falling in love again, afraid of all those dark feelings returning from her previous failed relationship. but she wasn’t alone in her feelings. deep down, he was scared too, angst sometimes lurking in his mind as he thought about her and their growing relationship. but just as quickly as those feelings came, they were gone again and it all started to make sense to him again — he would take the leap of faith anytime again. 

they would never admit to each other just how much the other meant to them — both afraid to overstep boundaries. 

it was the reason why kylian would never know how much it meant to her when he would hold her, press tiny kisses on her temple when they sat down to watch a movie. how it was able to change the way she saw herself when he complimented her. she was willing to give herself to him if he accepted the part of her, she had never let loose before. 

and amara would never know, she was the reason, he was being himself again. she would never hold the knowledge that the night they had met, had been for him to grow out of his misery after his own failed relationship. how her messages transferred smiles onto his faces that even his teammates started to grow suspicious. 

a certain vulnerability loomed over them, their hearts exposed to the other. and that same vulnerability was covered with soft smiles, silent confessions of love, glimpses into the depths of each others’ souls. love had the power to transform, to shape and create. it was able to bury insecurities, flaws, hatred… love had the power to give new beginnings to old things. 

especially in her case, love had given her something so important, it had given her inspiration, a new muse for her music. kylian fitted her in every way possible. even more because he loved her just because she — in his eyes. in his eyes she wasn’t amara imani, and he had fallen in love with her plain self, with her just being amara. 

she didn’t need to be more to make his world lighten up, her laugh was enough. and she didn’t need to wear makeup to be the most beautiful girl in the room — she could wear a potato bag and still win miss universe in his opinion.

sometimes even the simplest of loves were the most beautiful ones. the one, where one could see how trust and love were built around moments spent with each other, finding your soulmate, best friend in your loved one. world’s could never describe how this was an entire different feeling from just falling in love. and loving every part, every flaw and still seeing beauty was another different thing. 

even to herself, amara couldn’t explain why kylian’s laugh attracted her so much. it could have been his body, after all he was built very well, his face, his status — but no, for amara the most attractive thing on kylian was his smile. 

she started to drown out, not even listening anymore but just memorizing his smile to the finest detail. the way, kylian couldn’t help but to laugh before even recounting what had happened that made him burst into laughter like this. she gazed at him with so much love in her eyes, adoration, fondness. his giggles filled the air, tearing all of amara’s attention to them as he recounted with animated gestures. the last thing she remembered was that something funny at training session had happened today but what exactly it was, she didn’t know. by then she had already completely spaced out, staring at kylian instead and his smile.

the time passed with amara and kylian are still lost in each other’s company. they both enjoyed the moments where they did not have to wear a mask, could be completely themselves. they were only amara and kylian with each. two normal persons, trying to navigate their way through life. but of course, they couldn’t escape it forever, time and responsibilities always caught up. 

glancing at the clock, she gasped when she saw how late it already was. truthfully, for their standards, it wasn’t really late but she knew kylian had an away match tomorrow and couldn’t afford to be tired there. 

“kylian,” she began softly, nudging the french forwards’ shoulder, “it’s late. you need to go.”

“are you trying to get rid of me?” he retorted jokingly, grinning at her. 

she rolled her eyes, amusement clear on her face, “never. but you have an away match and i kind of don’t fancy you being benched.”

he gasped, putting a hand on his heart dramatically. “omg, you actually care for me.” he exclaimed, his grin spreading wider when she lightly slapped him neck this time. “but are you actually going to watch my match this weekend?”

“you’re acting as if i haven’t watched your last two matches.” she replied sarcastically. 

kylian waved dismissively, “yeah but we lost those. and i’m really sure we’re going to win this one. and, i don’t mean to brag, but i kind of am a big deal so it should be really entertaining.”

amara bursted out laughing, placing a hand in front of her mouth to stop her but it was useless. “sure…,” she trailed off, a mocking tone distinguishable in her voice. “it’s not like i have anything better to do this weekend, no of course not. i can already feel how excited i am to watch you run after a ball for one and a half hours.”

“glad to know this is how you feel about me,” kylian replied, his face scrunching up which made amara laugh even more. 

“you should start selling tickets just for people to watch you, not the team but just you.” amara suggested, “it’ll be called the donatello experience, after all you do kind of look like him. but the wish version.” she added, squirming when kylian suddenly started to tickle her. 

her laughter rang through the entire apartment, her begs going down in laughs as kylian tickled her all over. it was perfect. this moment was everything her and even were not and for the first time in a long time. amara was not thinking about her worries, the only thing on her mind was kylian - her kylian. she knew that god was a woman, but her favorite angel was definitely kylian.

“you think it’s an insult, i take it as a compliment,” he stated proudly and amara raised her eyebrows, an incredulous expression on her face at his words. “but you know, you’re kind of right. i should definitely start the mbappé experience. i mean after all, who wouldn’t want to see this beauty,” he let a hand run down his face, posing extravagantly which started another small laugh flash of amara. 

“people would start reclaiming their money if they spent it to watch you fall every twenty minutes. but what’s money when you can watch the imperialistic, majestic, phenomenal kylian mbappé try to score goals, right?”

 “ha ha,” he replied dryly, glaring at the singer in front of him. “aren’t you funny?”

amara smirked, mischievous glint in her eyes, “i know i am. you don’t have to remind me.”

“and people say, i have a big ego,” kylian muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for amara to hear, “they clearly haven’t met you.”

“your ego is bigger than france itself,” amara retorted, “i’m just trying to match your energy.”

“glad we’re on the same page.”

“of course we are. if it wasn’t for me, who would remind you of your frequent moments of mediocrity and knock you off your high horse?” amara explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “i’ll be here, sitting on my couch, cheering you on as i watch you miss a penalty by a mile.”

instead of answering with another sarcastic comment, the french striker stood up and pulled off  the blue psg-hoodie he was wearing. amara’s eyes widened as she spotted his abs, clearly visible through the tight white shirt he was wearing beneath. he threw it into amara’s lap without another word, the smell of his cologne immediately picked up by her nose. 

“you’re giving me your hoodie? what for? i can easily order myself a psg jersey,” she questioned, looking at him confused.

he shrugged dismissively again, “faut que je encourage mon plus grand supporter, tu ne trouve pas? without whose words, i probably wouldn’t have scored my incoming hattrick.” — don’t you think?

she pulled the sweatshirt closer to her chest and put it on, laughing as she saw how big it was on her body. “aww, thank you. you thought of me. to how many girls have you already given this?”

“none,” kylian replied deadpan, nodding in affirmation when amara raised her eyebrows. “you’re the first.”

“i feel honored, thank you so much. maybe, i’ll sell it on ebay.” she said cheerfully and threw a last glance at the time on her phone. “kylian, you really need to go now if you don’t plan on warming the bench tomorrow.”

he held his hands up in surrender. “d’accord, je m’en vais déjà.” — okay, i’m already leaving

kylian lifted himself up from the sofa, reaching for his belongings. amara quickly put on some slippers and accompanied him to the door, in a way it felt like this was a death march. as if amara would never see him again, which was quite the opposite in reality. they had spent the whole day together, yet it felt like it wasn’t enough. to the two of them not even forever could fill their need for one another, and with kylian going away for a match. their need to be close to each other had never been stronger.

they stood at the door, looking at each other, their regards completely enamored. his hand brushed gently against hers, surroundings entirely drowning out. for some reason, this goodbye felt different. the usual warmth was discernible in his eyes, the smell of his cologne filled the air, intensified this time because of his hoodie that was gracing her body, a comfortable atmosphere laid around them. and yet, neither moved. they were caught in their moment. 

it reminded amara of their first meeting, the morning after. when they had been at his apartment and she was in kylian’s position. they would have stayed there too for hours if her phone hadn’t rang. but this time, there were no distractions. it was just the two of them, waiting for the other to make a move and yet neither of the two wanted to disrupt the moment. 

he contemplated in his head, mind running high — was this the moment he had longed for? when she would finally make a step forward instead of her three steps back each time something like this happened? all he wanted to do at the moment was to take her head into his palms and press his lips on hers. but he also knew that it wouldn’t be fair towards her. 

she needed the time to heal and move forward from her insecurities, her doubts about love. and he had sworn to himself several times to give it to her. he could wait for years, it would be okay. she was the only woman in his thoughts at the moment. they didn’t need to rush. for him, it was the most obvious thing that he liked her in every kind of way. they could be in a room full of diamonds and yet she would still shine the brightest. 

he leaned down, close enough to hear amara’s heart beat pound quickly, his lips brushing her skin swiftly as he pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. for a second everything stood still, the earth stopped in its tracks. and it was just them, as the innocent gesture made them both freeze. was it the wrong decision? maybe. was it too soon? maybe. but all kylian could say was he did not regret it.

the kiss did not leave them unbothered. the sensation of his touch, his skin on hers sent shivers down her spine, the spot where he had kissed her burning with heat. and yet she felt a bit of disappointment. a part of her had thought it would have been more, longed for more. 

and kylian somehow sensed it. he could feel her bit of disappointment that was going through her. he placed her hands in his, smiling at her fondly, so much love in his gesture, “i know you’re disappointed. but i did not want our first kiss to be a goodbye kiss. i promised myself, i would make our first kiss unforgettable and wait till you’re ready for us.”

as he spoke, how could she be mad at him? when he was that considerate of her feelings; when he was able to read her like an open book? she looked up at him, eyes reflecting every of her emotions that she currently felt and a smile broke out on her lips. 

“will you wait forever?”

“if you want me too, i will.”

“you’re too good for me, ky,” amara muttered, still playing with the footballer’s hands. 

he shook his head, her smile mirroring on his face, “not too good. just perfect.” he leaned his back towards the wall, watching their reflection in the mirror. “he didn’t deserve you. he never did.”

as they slowly, with lots of reluctance let go of each other’s hands, another atmosphere built up. they didn’t have to say anything, they knew what they thought. next to the warmth and love filling the air, there was also a sense of safety. they felt safe with each other. she wasn’t just amara anymore, the person he fell in love with and wanted to show her his love. she had changed into amara, the person he felt safe with that he loved. 

the first time they had been in this situation, the roles were reversed and he had to hold on to the hope of it all, that they would meet again. that she wouldn’t push him back, and she hadn’t. so even though she had never been his, he had lived for her. given things up for her because his sense of amore had been so innocent, so hopeful that their faiths would intertwine. 

“so… i can count on you cheering me on from your couch?”

she nodded firmly, “no place i would rather be at that time,” she replied in the same cheerful tone, her soft smile still decorating her face. “by the way, it wouldn’t have been a goodbye kiss,” she added as kylian stepped through the door, her words making the french forward stop and turn around.

“well, this isn’t a goodbye, cherié,” he responded, “just a, see you soon.”

both were grinning widely when amara closed the door behind her. a cocktail of emotions rushed through her, her mind replaying the past few minutes in her head over and over. her hand reached for her cheek, the touch of his lips on her cheek still recent. even as she sat down on the couch, her mind still thought back to the moment they had shared at the door, their step forward. 

even kylian couldn’t wipe the smile of his face as he made his way home. he ignored the questionable look from his chauffeur, his mind still thinking back to the moment that had just happened. the soft and gentle kiss he had left on her cheek held much more significance. it was a symbol for their step forward. 

𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄:

AMARA: i kind of miss you guys scratch that, i actually miss you so much

LIYAH: this bitch drunk again?

r u drunk again?  you’re only emotional when you’re drunk

AMARA: can’t a girl miss her besties

GRACE: nah, she’s definitely drunk we literally talk to each other over the phone every day in case you forgot, i’m your pr-manager

AMARA: choke i’m not drunk i just miss seeing you, it’s been weeks

GRACE: aww, we miss seeing your beautiful face too

GRACE: but she’s kind of right, it’s actually been kind of long since we all saw each other

AMARA: paris is lonely without y’all next girls night out is on me

LIYAH: we’re sorry not everybody can go into hiding immediately

AMARA: acting as if i did this on purpose anyway i’m bored by the way, did you see the article about e*an and his girlfriend at the MTV awards?

LIYAH. i thought we agreed not to talk about this asshole anymore BUT LIKE SAME  AND THE WAY THEY’RE SAYING, YOUR THE ONE LEFT BEHIND

GRACE: we can always sue them if you want this was more than just talking about henderson and his new trophy girlfriend they woke up and chose violence

AMARA: it’s the part where they say ‘i pale in comparison to her’ like, i’m sorry my job is not to just sit still and look pretty

LIYAH: that nepo baby has probably never worked even lifted a finger to work for something

GRACE: don’t worry i’ll take care of it and e*an will definitely eat his words “not truly working between us” THAT BITCH

AMARA: his text messages say different but who cares?

GRACE: do me the favour though and don’t go on social media rn, it’s shitty there

LIYAH: gracey’s kind of right, it does look bad at the moment AMARA: dw wasn’t planning to anyway, i’m over it already so liyah, how was fashion week?

LIYAH: great lots of free alcohol and great clothes

AMARA: where was it again?

LIYAH: in the south of france monaco = lots of casinos and alcohol

GRACE: speaking of monaco…

LIYAH: yesssss

AMARA: liyahhhhhhhh

LIYAH: amaraaaaaaaa

AMARA: WHAT’S THIS GRACE JUST SEND ME PRIVATELY? YOU HAVE A NEW MAN? YOU BAGGED CHARLES LECLERC!!!!

GRACE: AND SHE PROBABLY WOULDN’T HAVE TOLD US IF WE DIDN'T ASK AFTER FASHION WEEK

LIYAH: guys….

AMARA:

THIS YOU?

LIYAH: i didn’t know it spread this quick but let me add, his ferrari collection>>>>> and he feeds me pasta everyday

GRACE:

SPILL BITCH

AMARA: yess, we wanna know the deeds how did this shit happen

LIYAH: well, i was supposed to go on blind date but asshole never showed up charles ordered me a bottle of wine and joined me later than, apparently he saw me being sad

GRACE: omgggg

one night stand??

LIYAH: nahhh we went on a few days before he popped the question and he’s literally amazing skilled everywhere

AMARA: damn, girl not even james made you swoon like that

GRACE: she deep in

LIYAH: james could have never let’s not disrespect charles like that james would have never let me drive his pista

AMARA:

PISTA? A FERRARI PISTA

LIYAH: he has a customized one

AMARA:

JEALOUSSSS (don’t you dare quote my song now)

GRACE: but like, how’s it going?

LIYAH: he’s so charming and cute and perfect.  i feel like every adjective i try to use does not fit, it’s too good.  and his smile — his smile is adorable.  especially with his dimples. impossible not to fall for him.”

AMARA:

WE NEED TO MEET HIM ASAP

GRACE: he got our girl down bad

AMARA: she’s actually in love

LIYAH: but like jokes aside, i really like him like him and me are

there are no situationships, no toxic exes it’s perfection — well, more like he’s perfection and brings out the best in me

AMARA: she’s in love let’s hope he doesn’t screw it up like james did.

GRACE: if he does, ferrari red won’t be the only one he’s seeing

AMARA: but we can’t wait to meet him in person

LIYAH: how about we stop talking about my man and focus on the reason, amara’s hyped again

GRACE: YES CAUSE WHY IS THIS BITCH CALLING ME AT TWO O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING

LIYAH: AND DON’T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT WE’VE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS

GRACE: SPILL THE BEANS

AMARA: don’t know what you’re talking about there’s no one

LIYAH: at least try to sound convincing

we’re your best friends your soul sisters

GRACE: by definition it’s our job to pry into your life

LIYAH: TELL US, WHO GOT YOU DOWN

AMARA: fine so there’s this guy, kylian and we met here

LIYAH: SHE ACTUALLY HAS A MAN

GRACE:

AMARA: not gonna lie my heart is going crazy for him like he is kind of perfect

GRACE: OMGGG WHAT HAS THIS BITCH BEEN KEEPING FROM US

LIYAH: SPILL what’s he like?

AMARA: he’s incredibly talented firstly and his smile could literally light up a room

LIYAH: IT’S GETTING GOOD

AMARA: idk how to describe but like we just click, we don’t have to say anything but immediately understand each other and he’s actually making me laugh and keeps up with my sarcasm

GRACE:

LIYAH: SHE IS DOWN BAD

GRACE: does he know you feel bout him that way?

AMARA: he knows like, we both know that we have feelings but i told him, i’m not ready and he understands that said, he was willing to wait for me

GRACE: KEEP HIM

LIYAH: HE’S PERFECT

GRACE: what does he even look like?

AMARA:

LIYAH: WHO IS THAT? WAIT I THINK I KNOW HIM

GRACE: DAMN AMARA WHAT THE HELL BITCH HOW COULD YOU KEEP HIM FROM US

LIYAH: HE’S THAT PLAYER FROM PSG RIGHT? THE FRENCH STRIKER SCORED THREE GOALS IN THE WC FINAL??

GRACE: A FOOTBALL PLAYER? AMARA??? INCOMING FACETIME CALL:

giggling, amara accepted the call quickly, her smile widening as she stared at her two best friends. her laugh intensified, looking at liyah’s serious face.

“usually, i am the first to veto football players but if he’s anything like what you told us,” liyah trailed off excitingly, “if you don’t go for him, i will personally smack the shit out of you.” liyah threatened jokingly, “that man literally has you smiling like the cheshire cat and—”

“is that his hoodie?” grace cut her off, pointing at the navy blue sweatshirt on amara’s body. their eyes immediately spotted the small number seven, engraved at the top corner of the shirt.

she looked away shyly, nodding and instantly laughing at the shocked faces of her friends. “he gave it to me, sort of support. said that, if i can’t come to his matches, then at least i’ll be supporting him through my phone.”she explained, smiling brightly.

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” grace questioned her incredulously, while liyah was still looking for words to describe the behavior of their friend. “HE IS DOWN FOR YOU.”

“girls, it’s not that easy. i like him, i truly do but things are not the same for me as they were for you and charles.” amara muttered, her smile shining less. “i can’t just go for him.”

their expressions were soft, a certain fondness for their best friend recognizable as they looked at her. liyah spoke first, “if this is because of evan, i can promise you, it’s not going to be like that the next time. this time, we’re here and not those fake, backstabbing snakes. and the moment we see a red flag in kylian, we’ll make sure he never ever plays football again.”

she sighed heavily, hands running frustratingly over her face. “i am a mess at the moment. i can’t even step outside because of this stupid scandal. and he’s kylian, france’s golden boy. he doesn’t deserve to be dragged down because of me.” she confessed, a heavy weight falling off her shoulders. 

“amara, the last thing you need to do is think of yourself as a burden.” grace told her in a scolding tone, “kylian is old enough to choose whom he wants to associate himself with. and if chose you, that’s because he likes you. you literally said that he was willing to wait till you were ready to move forward.”

“men like them only come once in a lifetime,” liyah added to support grace’s statement. “and sometimes you just have to trust. don’t take this as me pushing you to get into a relationship but we want you to figure it out. you’re the only one who knows when you’re ready or not and neither your reputation nor your career are going to change that. it’s just you.”

“is it even a good idea for two celebrities to date? i don’t need a repeat of what happened with evan. this thing escalates again and i’m done,” she explained worriedly. “i am trying to rise from the ashes. i can do it once but if this fails, i can’t do it twice. and the risk of it is too high for me.”

amara jumped when suddenly a pillow was thrown towards the camera, rolling her eyes lightly at liyah’s antics. she was known for her way of always overdramatizing everything. 

this time was no different. 

“mar, honestly i don’t really know if kylian is the right guy. the only thing I know though is that he cares. and maybe he’s not the right person. but at least you’ll have tried.” grace assured her, smiling softly at her while liyah held her thumbs up. “sometimes you have to kiss several frogs to find your prince.”

“you’ve got no idea how thankful i am for this,” she replied thankfully, accepting grace’s advice. “truly do not know where i would be without you two.”

standing up from the sofa, she rummaged through her notebooks till she found the one she had opened recently and wrote her newest song down. she brought it back to her place, sitting down again and listening to her two best friends talk as she edited her lyrics. she must have spaced out very quickly since suddenly, a high pitched scream was heard through her phone. 

“OMG, SHE’S WRITING!” liyah exclaimed, making amara look up in shock. she was met with a gleeful expression on liyah’s face, looking at the camera and a similar looking one on grace. “NEW MUSIC IS COMING!”

grace shook her head at liyah even though they were used to it by now. “is that the project you told me about? the one from two o’clock in the morning?”

amara gave a nod and smiled at the excitement in her friends’ faces. “songwriting is on again, i guess.”

“you said, you were taking a pause.”

“no, i was just in a slump because of my mediocre second album,” amara objected quickly, “but now i’m high on motivation again and i’m keen on beating those critics and haters, who called me forgettable.”

“is the song already finished?” grace asked her curiously. “do you want me to arrange something for recording or?”

amara closed the small notebook, placing it on the table in front of her. “no, i want to write several ones before i even think of going to the studio. like i said, this time i need to exceed. not just reach my expectation but exceed them. and i’m going to do that.”

“damn, where’s the inspiration coming from?” liyah exclaimed. 

amara smirked, mischievous glint apparent in her eyes. “he gave it to me.”

𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄:

AMARA: kylian? u awake?

KYLIAN: always

AMARA: i actually wrote a song today

KYLIAN: it’s mine right?

AMARA: score a goal for me and we’ll see

KYLIAN: this is torture

AMARA: writing a song is not for everyone takes time and patience not that you’d know

KYLIAN: can i at least know what it’s about?

AMARA: about a certain football player who thinks he’s the best in world and needs to be humbled with a disstrack

KYLIAN:

a disstrack? when have i ever offended you

AMARA: i rate constantly stealing my food as a crime by the way, shouldn’t you be asleep right now you have a match tomorrow

KYLIAN: one we’ll easily win

AMARA: boy, you’re not man city get off your high horse

KYLIAN: your ego is just as bad as mine i never even asked you what’s your favorite team?

AMARA: olympique marseille a shame, they’re always losing in classicos

KYLIAN: fr now

AMARA: liverpool fc ynwa always cheers me up and now go to sleep before i block you i expect a hat-trick tomorrow

KYLIAN: i’ll even score four if that makes you happier

AMARA: don’t tempt me mbappé

KYLIAN: don’t block me pls

AMARA: then go to bed

KYLIAN: fine maman

AMARA:

[koogl001]

Hi. Can I get a pillarman and a deaf-mute reader?

(I like your Yandere pillarmen heads who keep the reader in their secret hideout and bring stuff for the sake of explanation)

One-Shots and Headcanons Masterlist

When you were first abducted by the pillar men, they took your quietness as a sign of defiance, or maybe you were too frightened by their presence, losing the ability to talk?

It was only polite to answer when asked a question, and disrespect was something they did not allow (especially Kars)

As your punishment, you were chained to a pole as your back was whipped

But when you didn’t let a single cry out, only gasps, Wamuu started suspecting if you even had the ability to speak in the first place

After a bit of researching, they found mutism might be the cause of your problem, so in order to communicate with you (as they were trying to obtain information from you about where exactly the Red Stone of Aja was hidden) they provided you with a small dry erase board and some markers

You explained to them that you were deaf-mute and mainly communicated with people via what you called a sigh language

Kars

Kars was disgusted by your weakness, making it his point to let you know

The humankind was even more useless than he originally thought

When he realised you had no knowledge of the Red Stone of Aja (or at least none that you made known) he decided for you to be a bargaining chip as you had no other use

He steered clear of you, after all you were not worthy of his presence

But then again, he did make a mistake by issuing a punishment for something you had no control over and for whatever reason, he wanted to make it up to you

He comforted himself that it was only fair and there was nothing more to it, no feelings attached

As quite the exquisite man who enjoyed luxury, he decided to gift you with your very own lavish room, silky clothing, and herbal bath oils

He also got you a personal maid (one of the vampires he acquired for his army) to tend to your every need

After all, in his eyes you were too weak to even take proper care of yourself

That is, only till he saw you fight

When Kars came to observe what caused such a commotion in his lair, he only saw piles upon piles of burning carcases left by his now deceased followers

Apparently, they got hungry and naturally went after the only human around, poor fools

You weren’t a part of Lisa Lisa’s team for nothing

This strangely earned you respect from the leader of the pillar men, instead of his wrath as that was what you expected

He was wrong, once again

You were admittedly far from weak, despite your limitations

Perhaps you would make a fine mate

After all, as a soon to be ultimate life form, Kars intended to rebuild his tribe and you might just be up for that task

Esidisi  

Esidisi found entertainment in exploiting your weakness

He would sneak up on you and jump out of nowhere just to give you a good scare and maybe a heart attack or two

As he was the one to bring you to the pillarmen’s lair, he knew of your hamon wielding abilities

It was clear to him they were honed to perfecting by years and years of restless training

It was commendable, for such a meek looking creature to pack such a powerful punch

He purposedly picked fights with you, testing the limit of your abilities, noting that each time you two fought you adapted to his rhythm a bit more and soon, you were even able to deal damage

Nothing serious thought, he would not allow that as much as he would not allow himself to hurt you

After one of your many sparring sessions, you questioned his unwillingness to attack you, resorting only to defence, but you were met with no answer

Why was that indeed?

The burning king found himself questioning his own actions

Was it because you were so fragile, he was afraid of shattering you?

Perhaps spending so much time with a human made him softer, he thought

Venturing outside to test that theory, Esidisi easily killed Messina, one of the two men who trained Jojo and Caesar along with Lisa Lisa

There was no sign of remorse nor mercy, so the strategic genius deduced he only had a soft spot for you, why however he couldn’t tell

You were confused when, after a meeting with Kars (in order to persuade him to keep you even after obtaining what they came for) Esidisi insisted on you sharing his room with him, but as you were in the position of a prisoner you didn’t have much say in what you wanted and didn’t want to do

He would use this opportunity of you getting closer to him to figure out his own feelings and thoughts

When he accepts that he has feelings for you, get ready for a lot of teasing as he loves when you get frustrated with him, finding your pouting face adorable and precious

He’ll pinch your cheeks and tell you he was only joking, enveloping you in a big hug

Wamuu

He feels so much guilt over your punishment which you clearly did not deserve as you had no control over your inability to speak, he distanced himself from you at the start

He knew he had to make it up to you somehow, so he started secretly sneaking outside, grabbing whatever he thought might get you to forgive him for his wrongdoings

He didn’t however know much about trying to win someone’s favour as he was but a child when his tribe was wiped clear by his masters, not getting to know how to properly act in social situations

What do women want? Is it power? Money? Flowers? Clothes? Jewels? What is it?

He decided to seek help from human books, especially romantic novels and appropriated the ways the lead male characters acted towards their love interest

Tons of flowers, words of affirmation and compliments, help with whatever you wanted, companionship and much more is coming your way

This gentle giant will make you feel like a princess straight out of a fairy tale

He’ll spoil you rotten and then some more with his sweet words and actions

He soon finds he enjoys your company quite a bit, looking forward to coming back to you after each mission requiring him to leave your side

He’ll soon incorporate light physical sighs of affections, such as holding your hand, your shoulder, and around your waist

When you accept his advances and even start reciprocating them, he’ll be over the moon and go a bit further with hugs, kisses on the cheek or forehead, brushing your hair and such

He’ll go slowly, accepting that he put you in a difficult position since you are still their prisoner

If you ever come up to him on your own and start a little cuddle session, he might just die from happiness

Santana

This sign language you speak of sounds new, and he loves new things he can learn, so he’ll get to it as soon as possible

With his adaptive nature and high intelligence, he masters it in less than a month, eager to show you his progress and maybe get you to point out if he got it correctly

You’ll praise him and tell him how extremely sweet of a gesture it is, loving that you’ll be able to express yourself to him a bit more freely

As he’s not familiar with the concept of praise, he’ll be confused by the warm feeling in his chest

Was he ill? No, pillarmen couldn’t get ill, but then what was it?

Conducting a small experiment, he soon found he only felt this when in your presence specifically, did you have powers that made this happen?

Feels no shame, so he’ll outright ask you about this new sensation, making you flustered

It was as if he was indirectly confessing to you

As you were too embarrassed to explain, you showed him some books that might hold answers to his question and left him to his own devices

He’ll quickly become possessive as he’s more feral than the rest and will feel the need to protect you from any protentional danger since you’re such a fragile creature

He’ll go as far as to straight up growl at Esidisi when he tries to mess with you

He’ll make a nest for the two of you in his room and demand you stay with him 24/7 for “protection purposes”, though he just wants to spend every second in your warm presence

He’ll go out of his way to impress you, not only to show you he is a capable mate but also to get some more praise that he quickly becomes addicted to

If you want him to go putty in your arms, simply tell him how much of a good boy he is

[ga-yuu]

Kurama and Ibuki Sequel Preview

A Karasu Tengu that doesn't understand humans and an Oni who laughs and plays with humans.

A former adopted child and an adoptive parent----but their relationship is broken.

Ibuki: "You're the one who gave the oracle, Yoshino."

Ibuki: "It seems that I will need your help in the upcoming battle...."

Ibuki: "Will the Shrine Maiden of the Underworld give any kind of reward to the man chosen as a hero?"

Kurama: "Are you still prepared to throw yourself into the fray again?"

Kurama: "If you want to run away with your tail between your legs, do it now."

Kurama: "If I see you trembling like a fool on the battlefield, I'll kill you first before I kill the corpses."

The dangerous demons play with me and I was swallowed up in the vortex of battle.

The three of us, were not on the same page.

.........

Yoshino: "Ibuki...I trusted you."

Ibuki: "I know. And I told you that your trust in me feels surprisingly good."

Ibuki: "So much so that...."

Ibuki: "I want to tear it into shreds and trample on them."

A haunting instinct that is too strong for me, a human being to resist, and...

.............

Kurama: "...You're useful in your own way, but you're more interesting than a lot of people lying around."

Kurama: "So I allowed you to call me by my name and I remembered yours. That should be enough."

Kurama: "Why would you be happy or sad over the lives of helpless human soldiers who are of no use to you?"

Yoshino: "....After all, there is a difference between demons and humans."

Kurama: "You're right."

A barrier of race looms between us.

............

Then....

Ibuki: "Life is just a long, long time to pass before you die anyways."

Ibuki: "If I end up being bad here, that's fine with me."

Ibuki: "We'll just dance and play till the end, right? Kurama."

Kurama: "Is playing important? More important than your own life and soul-----"

Kurama: "You never take it seriously....the way you are right now is so irritating that I want to kill you."

Their relationship began to change when Ibuki was cursed for defending me.

Yoshino: "Are you worried about Ibuki?"

Kurama: "Not really. But if Ibuki is willing to give up then...."

Kurama: "I will drag the caster out and forcibly sew this man's soul to this world."

Ibuki: "Kurama."

Kurama: "And then, I will lead you by the hand."

Ibuki: "So that's it after all."

Ibuki: "Well, as you can see, I'm a dependable demon. I'm not that weak for my adopted chick to worry about me."

------Going through the fluctuating emotions.

The end of my heart trembles with emotions for the first time-----

Kurama: "Yoshino. You must only worry about me."

Kurama: "Your eyes...only needs to look at me."

Yoshino: "Ngh....."

Ibuki: "Good for you, Yoshino."

Yoshino: "W-Why?"

Ibuki: "You've managed to tame a powerful demon, is what I would have said, but..."

Ibuki: "You managed yourself in being a favorite toy...."

Ibuki: "For Kurama and even...for me."

............

We face our trials with our own thoughts and feelings.

Kurama: "You are strong. I will not allow you to doubt my word."

Kurama: "Don't ever again undermine the spark of life that I have recognized in you."

By embracing different strengths----our hearts connect.

Yoshino: "W-Why did you kiss me...."

Kurama: "Because you cry."

Yoshino: "That's not an answer!"

Kurama: "I don't know what answers you're looking for."

Kurama: "If there's an answer. It's probably because your tears make me so happy."

Kurama: "I want to see more. Your crying face, your not crying face....everything."

..............

Ibuki: "I thought you said you don't want to be held by someone you didn't like. Don't tell me your heart is already broken?"

Yoshino: "No.."

Yoshino: "Because I love Ibuki...I'm not afraid even if you hold me to push me away." (are we doing this again?)

Ibuki: "Ngh...."

Yoshino: "Ibuki....Mm.."

He can live alone. But surely cannot laugh alone.

Faced with despair, the heat we shared changes him....

Ibuki: "I'll admit it. This game is mine to lose."

Ibuki: "You don't have to be alone."

...........

At the end of our wounded love story, we learn...

That love is stronger than death.

Kurama: "I think this new day I'm living with you is beautiful."

Kurama: "Don't forget. You taught me that heart."

.............

Ibuki: "Are you happy just to watch me? Come here."

Ibuki: "I will love you extravagantly with everything I have."

One where two sweetly prodigal destinies run together.

[tsukuharuko]

When Tamaki started sobbing, the knot in Haruko's throat grew thicker, but she didn't let it take over. Instead, she tightened her hug around Tamaki, clenched her teeth and closed her eyes. The more his shoulders shook, the firmer her hug was, and she didn't let him go not even for a second. He needed to feel weak now, he had to allow himself to, so she was going to be strong for him instead.

It was so weird. She had never been so physically close to Tamaki; they had been knowing each other for such a short time, and he always appeared so shy the thought of physical touch never even crossed her mind. As if, much like a forest boy with pointy ears, he was a timid magical creature, and she was already humbled by the fact that he had allowed her to get close enough to know him and befriend him. Insecure as he might be, Tamaki was somewhat ethereal and unreachable in her mind, just like the world of brave heroes he belonged to; only now she realised how wrong she was. He was human, and very much so, and he probably never felt more human than that very moment, despite all the uncertainties he carried within himself all the time.

Or maybe, in a way, she always knew he was frail; that was what always prompted her to rush to his aid whenever she sensed he could be threatened, like when he had broken those glasses at the cafe, or when he had a panic attack just because a group of girls was staring at him. But still, she never thought he was weak, that wasn't why she was always so eager to be by his side. It was something else. The same feeling of seeing something beautiful and delicate -- a flower, a butterfly -- that came with the instinct to preserve it so it could thrive. That was all she ever wished for him. Odd as it may be, since they were barely more than friends, and still...

She heaved a light breath, one thumb slowly rubbing Tamaki's back, the other gently caressing his nape. It was a weird position, even slightly uncomfortable, but she refused to move. She let Tamaki hold onto her, his tears soak the shoulder of her shirt. She turned her head so her mouth could be against his, and his hair could muffle her words as she spoke, as if afraid of being too loud in such a fragile moment.

"Tamaki, I... I don't know what will happen now. I don't know if you'll get your quirk back, although I wish it with all my heart, I do," she said. "But regardless... You must not be ashamed of yourself. This happened to you because you were out there doing what you love, what you're great at. You were being a hero, and there can be no shame in that," she said. "So... I just wanted to tell you that you should never feel ashamed of who you are. Not before today, and not after."

"As for me," she went on, sighing against his dark hair, "I'll never think less of you because they stole your quirk. I'll always think you're a great person, no matter what." The knot from earlier grew thicker, chocking her voice for a second. But once again, she swallowed it, pushed it down, tightened her embrace around Tamaki, and rested her cheek on top of his head with a deep breath. "So, you can cry as much as you want, and I'll stay here until you need me to. It's fine. I promise."

The pressure she applied to his fingers was pleasant and had more of a calming effect on him than she might suspect. His rapidly hammering heart lost one of its extra beats, his shoulders began to ease into a comfortable slump, and he allowed himself to let out a meek laugh that sounded more than an exhausted exhale.

"I can't laugh at you. I live with the constant fear that everything I do will make people laugh at me." Dark eyes traveled wearily from their joined hands to her face. Pink cheeks, honeyed eyes, a smile that he swore would power the entire city of Tokyo and beyond, even when it wasn't as bright or sincere.

She went silent, and now it was his turn to feel his heart seize. He wanted to ask her if she was alright, but before he could, he watched those gorgeous eyes become damp. His chest felt trapped in the hands of a giant, the squeeze so tight he felt his every breath leave him.

"What's wrong?"

She was there in an instant, hunched over him with her arms wrapped around him. Hugs weren't common for him. More often than not, they were too much. They were wanted more than he was willing to voice because he wasn't adverse to touch, but affection of any kind didn't feel deserved.

Except that he found himself clinging to her in return, fingers grasping at at her shirt, faced buried in her shoulder. The breaths he lost before came back in great, heaving waves. He could hardly take them, each one either sucked in with a hiccup or skipped because the air felt too big for his small, human body.

While she told herself not to cry, he couldn't keep his own hand-built walls from crumbling. He had created a dam, and for so long it had held firm, but there was only so much it could hold before it cracked.

He said nothing, but words were hardly needed when a low, plaintive whimper signaled the start of fat, fresh tears. They soaked through her clothes, something he would apologize for later. They were hot and barely contained, and all he could hope was that she didn't think less of him for having a moment of weakness.

[michelleleewise]

Can you do one where the reader suffers from migraines but is stubborn about admitting it or asking for help but Loki catches her out?

Hiiii!!!! I'm so sorry it took me an eternity to get to this!!! But....here we are!!!! I hope you like it and again......sorry!!!! 💚💚💚

==================================

Allow me...

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: migraines, pain killers, crying. All the fluff! Just fluff with fluff

Summary: you suffer regularly from migraines, but do your best to push through, but can you trick a trickster......

You downed two more pain killers rubbing your temples. Headaches were one thing but this...this was torture. You knew if you waited patiently it would go away but you had no more patience left. You went to your room, closing the curtains and shutting the door, attempting to make it as dark as possible. Laying down you could feel your pulse pounding in your head. You wanted to scream but knew that would do no good, so you screwed your eyes shut trying not to cry.

You heard the front door open and close knowing Loki was home. "Shit, he's early." You said to yourself wincing as you sat up, feeling the blood rush to your head. "Darling, are you home?" You heard him call as you squinted. "Yes, in here." You called out holding your head. You knew there was no way to hide how you were feeling so you sighed and laid back down.

You had been getting these migraines on and off since you were a child, you had never told Loki about them because you didn't want him to think you were weaker then you already were. You were only a human after all, and could easily be broken. You remember not long ago when he told his brother humans were fragile, so you buried it, never telling him. You had hoped to be better by the time he got back from his mission but luck was not on your side.

"Darling, is everything.." he trailed off seeing you lieing in the dark room, hearing a small sob. "What's the matter, what happened love?" He asked rushing to the bed. "Nothing Loki I'm fine, I just don't feel well." You sighed trying to contain your tears. He gently grasped your chin, tilting your head to look at him. "You are in pain, what happened?" He asked again rubbing his thumb on your cheek. "Forget it, it's stupid." You said trying to turn away "love please, allow me to help you." He pleaded as a tear escaped your eye.

"I...I have a migraine." You said closing your eyes. "What is that?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows "it's like a headache times a thousand." You sighed as he cupped your cheek "close your eyes." He said as you did what he asked. You felt a warmth on your forehead that slowly spread behind your eyes down to your neck, sighing as the pain subsided and disappeared. You opened your eyes seeing Loki pull his hand from your forehead "how do you feel now?" He asked "much better, thank you." You sniffed sitting up.

"Love, do you have these often?" He asked watching you. "No, only occasionally, they come and go." You said looking down. "And why have you never told me of your affliction?" He asked "because Loki, I didn't want you to think I was a weak pathetic mortal." You blurted out. "I heard what you said to your brother and i...I don't know I just didn't want you to see me that way." You said looking down.

"Darling, I would never think that of you. You are kind, compassionate, loving. You've opened my eyes to so many new things. And yes once I used to feel that way but you are strong and confident. You persevere and I greatly admire that about you. I would never make you feel less then for something that ails you." He said as another tear streamed down your cheek. "R..really? You think that, about me?" You asked looking at him "of course love, and I would be honored if you would allow me to help you when you have these....issues." He said smiling.

You lunged forward wrapping your arms around his neck hugging him to you. "I love you so much Loki." You breathed into his neck. "And I love you darling." Now why don't you take a nice hot bath and relax and I'll go order us some dinner, and you pick the film tonight." He said as you pulled back looking at him "how did I get so lucky?" You asked trailing a finger along his leather uniform "I ask myself the same thing everyday." He said smiling.

You knew you would always be ok as long as you had your Loki.....

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚

@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @holdmytesseract @el-zef @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @123forgottherest @lovebyloki @javagirl328 @loopsisloops @high-functioning-lokipath @immersed-in-mischief @chantsdemarins @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @midnights-ramblings @slpnbty2001 @angelaf1978 @sinsandguilt @usagishira @xorpsbane @lokifriggadottir365 @your-taste-on-my-lips @asgardianprincess1050 @cakesandtom @agentandreastark @sekaishell @dukes2581 @aniar4wniak @spork-fighter @stupidthoughtsinwriting @d1a2n389 @hypergamer7744 @buttercupbestie @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lokiprompts @daggers-and-mischief @lucylaufeyson3 @kats72 @mochie85 @commanding-officer @lokis-coffee221 @huntress-artemiss @limiworld @lulubelle814 @idfkgabby @glitterylokislut @highkeysimpingforloki @myworldgoesboomz @lonadane @budugu @cloud-of-daisies

[scarlett-vixen]

The Heart was Made to be Broken

Summary: Your long term relationship comes to an end and you're left to pick up the pieces, luckily you have seven demons to support you.

Genre: Comfort/Fluff

Dinner was lively like always, the brothers all excitedly talking over each other, you were trying your best to keep up with them all. You were listening to Beelzebub talk about his upcoming Fangol tournament when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, you pull it out to silence the call but your heart flutters when you see the name on your screen. You give Lucifer an apologetic look and promise him you’ll make it quick, he nods in approval and you make your way to the hall, Asmo teases you as you exit the room saying to not have too much fun on your call.

Twenty minutes pass before you re-enter the dining room, you try to keep it together, a weak smile on your lips. The call hadn’t gone as you had expected, it went in the exact opposite direction actually, and now you had to finish dinner like your heart wasn’t bleeding out inside your chest.

“Sooo, how was the call? Did you two talk about how much you miss each other?” Asmo cooed, he always adored how much you gushed about your partner. That’s why his words stung so badly.

“Uh, no not really.” You kept it short and sweet hoping to avoid further questions, you took your seat at the table and picked at the food on your plate.

“Is everything alright? You seem less enthusiastic than you normally are after they call?” You didn’t expect Lucifer to call you out, was it that obvious?

“Yeah human what’s the deal? Normally after they call, ya can’t stop talkin about ‘em, now yer all quiet.” You felt your heart breaking more, you’d never make it through dinner like this, might as well tell them.

“Everything is fine,” You braced yourself, hoping to believe the lie as well “We broke up but it’s not a big deal, it’s fine.”

“What??”

“Whoa whoa whoa hang on—”

“Major plot twist, what??”

“Surely you’re joking?”

“Fine?? You were together for years!”

“I don’t understand…”

“Are they stupid?”

The questions all flew out at once, you tried to avoid them but the brothers continued to press you. You could feel your throat tighten, there was a war waging inside you, half of you trying to keep it together and the other half already breaking down.

“GUYS! I said I’m fine!” you forced a laugh and put on your best fake smile. It wasn’t fine though. You and your partner lived together back in the human world, during the call they had informed you that they were moving out, you had only a few weeks to gather your belongings before the house went back on the market. All your things, all the memories, all the love…gone. “I just need to go back home for a few days to get my stuff and then everything will be fine! I’m gonna be okay!”

You looked around the room and felt so out of place, you felt so uncomfortable, you wanted to breakdown and cry. You wanted the one person who made you feel safe, who always made you feel like things would be okay, but that was the same person who had shattered your heart. The tears started to stream down your face against your will, you looked to Lucifer for reassurance.

“Please tell me everything will be okay…”

How They Respond:

Lucifer

He watches the tears start pouring down your face and his big brother instincts kick in. If you’ll allow it, he pulls you into a hug shielding you from the others.

He’ll let you cling to him as you bawl your eyes out, tears soaking his shirt, he knows this isn’t going to be easy for you

He’ll make the others leave you alone, you have enough going on right now, you don’t need them adding extra stress.

He does his best to comfort you, assuring you that he and his brothers will help you gather your things in time.

Once you’ve calmed down and are able to fall asleep, he’s immediately on the phone with Diavolo arranging plans to get you taken care of.

Mammon

The boy goes through all five stages of grief in .8 seconds

They broke up with you?? They broke up with you!! Oh, they broke up with you…

His heart breaks the minute you start crying, and then he’s angry, how dare they make you cry like that!!

He’ll grab your hand and take you back to your room, he’s not gonna let his brothers watch you like this, besides they can’t help you like he can.

He’s trying his best to be supportive and listen to you talk it out but he’s losing his mind on the inside. You’re sitting so close to him? You have your head resting on his shoulder?? How is it possible for you to look this cute when your heart is so broken?

You can argue with him but he’s not leaving you alone tonight, he’ll make a little pallet on the floor right next to your bed so he can be close to you in case you need him.

Leviathan

This whole thing feels like a major scene from an anime he watched recently, he just can’t remember which one.

Once you start crying and reality sets in? Cue Levi’s inability to cope with awkward situations

He won’t know how to handle the sudden onset of emotions while also finding out the human he’s had a huge crush on is now single. He does know this isn’t the time to think about what it would be like to date you though.

He’ll try to hide away in his room but then gets sad when he sees your controller laying on the floor. The two of you spent a lot of time together having marathons or late-night gaming sessions so he knew how much you loved your partner.

He hates thinking about how sad and alone you might feel, he knows that feeling too well, so he’ll text you and make sure you’re okay.

After about an hour or two of texting he’ll ask if you want to come to his room, he can put on a light-hearted movie for you to watch or you can watch him try to beat the hardest level of his new game. He just doesn’t want you to feel alone.

Satan

He’s never experienced heartbreak before, he’s read about it hundreds of times and seen plenty of movies with it but watching you breakdown is so much more heartbreaking than any of that.

He’ll wait until you calm down before approaching you, only because he knows that’s what he prefers people to do when he gets worked up.

He’ll ask if you want him to get revenge for you, nothing major just a little harassment maybe a good punch to the face or kick to the groin for good measure.

If you happen to have a pet back home he is ecstatic. There’s no way Lucifer could tell you no, especially right now, so obviously your pet gets to live with them now! He doesn’t care if it’s not a cat he’ll take what he can get.

Will invite you to join him at the library or on a trip to the bookstore, just something to get you out of the house. Also a way to ask about your pet without Lucifer hearing.

Asmodeus

OFFENDED

He has been so invested in your relationship! He thought you two were so cute together?? He adored when you would show him pictures of the two of you together. You’ve told him so much about your partner, always so full of love for them, you’d been together for years!

He’s immediately at your side doing his best to comfort you, he’s been known to break hearts before but this is the first time he’s ever cared about one.

He’ll insist you spend the night in his room, but you won’t be sleeping, instead it’s a night full of selfcare. Warm fuzzy pajamas, ice cream, calm music, and trash talk once you reach the anger part of the breakup.

He’s been your wingman since day one and that doesn’t change now.

“Don’t worry darling, they didn’t deserve your beauty anyway! We’ll find you someone much better when you’re ready!”

Beelzebub

Bless his heart :(

We all know Beel is a big boy with a soft heart. Watching you breakdown in tears nearly has him in tears.

He’s on his feet immediately and engulfing you in the biggest hug possible. You’re such a good human, he can’t imagine why someone would hurt you like this.

Like Mammon, his sadness quickly turns to anger. You’re a part of the family at this point and nobody hurts his family.

He’ll ask you to stay in his room that night with he and Belphie or if he can stay in your room.

Regardless of where you choose this boy is going to hold you so close and gently against him all night. He wants you to feel safe and make your pain disappear.

Belphegor

This little shit.

Like Satan, he’ll ask if you want him to get revenge, except it’s more of a statement than a question… and a lot more gruesome.

Belphie likes to pretend he doesn’t care about you or how you feel but on the inside he’s just as invested as the others.

After you tell him he isn’t allowed to severely injure your ex or set their new house on fire or haunt their dreams, he’ll shift gears and focus on you.

Unlike his twin he doesn’t give you an option, he drags you to the shared bedroom and makes you stay with the two of them all night.

Belphie uses his powers to help you fall asleep but honestly you could’ve done it with out his help. The warmth of being sandwhiched between him and Beel is enough to make you doze off on your own.

[l-r-christian]

This is about the request about the ED and I wanted to clarify that the reader is anorexia. She begins to become insure about her body because of Hayley or anyone else and stops eating, excessively working out.

Okay. I am going to kinda put my self in the reader's shoes for this one as I have been there only it was a toxic relationship so I kinda know the feelings. This is gonna be be therapeutic for me.

Warnings: Angst, Toxic behavior, Hayley being kinda bitchy, Protective Mikaelsons, Fluff,

A/N: please if you are going though any of this please please seek help. Get a support system and get heathly as you matter no what anyone says.

It started off as a small off hand comment from Hayley about Y/N's weight and the woman brushed it off. But soon Hayley's comments turned to backhanded remarks and a bit bitchy. It was summer as the family was out in the pool and Y/N put on a two piece swimsuit looking at herself in it seeing how gorgeous she looked.

"Wow a two piece? I wouldn't have if I had your belly Y/N but that's brave of you." Hayley said looking Y/N over as the woman wore a cute two piece swimsuit that Rebekah bought her. Y/N flushed feeling a little self conscious as Elijah smiled gently at her waving her over to his sun chair so he could put sunscreen on her.

"You alright, baby?"

"Yeah...." Y/N tells him feeling Elijah kiss her neck as Hope's laughter reach her ears and saw the girl in the pool with Klaus and Kol. Y/N smiled and relaxed ignoring the old dark feelings creeping back in her mind.

"Your thighs are looking a bit chubby. Surprised that Klaus can even lift you." Hayley says as it sounds like she was harmlessly teasing Y/N when Klaus came in carrying the woman on his back. Y/N was quick to get off Klaus's back making him frown with the sudden change of behavior but let it go.

Y/N stood in front of her mirror in just lace bra and panties while she looked okay to the outside world. Y/N thought she was too heavy there was fat and needed to lose the weight that was in her belly and thighs.

'They'll never find you attractive fatty.'

'Why wouldn't they want a fat girl.'

'Look at you so fat. Wow how could you let yourself go.'

Y/N put a large shirt on before heading down stairs to join her lovers for dinner which caught their attention. Y/N smiled sitting between Rebekah and Kol getting some dinner, Elijah had made her favorite.

"Not that hungry love?"

"I had a big lunch." Y/N answered Klaus when she got a small portion of food this seemed to get her lovers to back off for a moment.

"You're working out a lot more than normal." Camille said joining Y/N on her workout as lately Camille had became worried about her best friend. The therapist in Camille was screaming at her that something was wrong with Y/N as the blonde noticed that the other woman hadn't been eating much.

"Well summer is coming up and I just wanna be toned." Y/N said smiling as they entered the gym and Camille didn't buy it but made notes to keep an eye on her friend.

Y/N was a bit heavier when she was teen and was mercilessly bullied for it and when one summer passed she loss the weight. Only to be leered at by boys as she had curves and got attention because of it which she got bullied by the girls in her school.

Old insecurities had came back and was worse than ever the more Hayley pointed out Y/N's weight or seemly playfully flirt with Elijah. Y/N had only ate when her lovers weren't around which wasn't much and she hadn't been intimate with them. Y/N found herself working out more, throwing up whatever she ate and abusing diet pills.

'Hayley is more gorgeous than you.'

'I bet Elijah is fucking her. Why would he want someone as disgusting as you?'

'Ugh even Kol, Rebekah and Klaus are disgusted by you.'

'They shouldn't be with you. You don't deserve them.'

The dark thoughts whispered as Y/N swallowed after having thrown up her dinner and got up feeling weak. Y/N was pale, her hair was dull but to Y/N she thought she looked fine while those around her was worried about her. Y/N was circling back to her old teen mindset of a vicious cycle of throwing up and working out.

'I need to be beautiful. I need to be beautiful.'

Was an old dangerous thought that had came back in full force in Y/N's head as she headed for the gym again getting the other's attention making them frown.

"She is too thin Elijah. Something is wrong but she won't talk." Klaus said pacing as the four was talking about Y/N. For the last month they noticed the decline in their lover's health.

"I am aware Niklaus. But we can't just tie her down and force her to eat."

"Well we can't do nothing."

"Then let's find out why."

It took one slip up from Hayley for Rebekah to over hear as the hybrid making Y/N feel small as she said some hurtful words.

"Shame Elijah is dating a human like you. Weak and unattractive, I bet he has to be careful to not hurt you." Hayley said poking Y/N's thigh when the human walked past her.

"Your thighs look a lit......" Hayley was cut off by Rebekah's growl as the Original marched into the room glaring at the hybrid.

"So you been tormenting my little wife?!" Rebekah said getting protective getting the boy's attention as they walked in. They saw an angry Rebekah and an annoyed Hayley with a worried Y/N.

"Rebekah?"

"Nik the mother of your daughter has been hurting Y/N." Rebekah said as Klaus glared and Y/N was getting anxious as this wasn't what she wanted. The human moved to walk away as they were fighting with Hayley but because she hadn't been eating she fainted which Elijah caught her.

When Y/N woke she saw her vampires around her bed worried Elijah sat next to her cupping her cheek rubbing it frowning with how thin she felt.

"Why have you been staving yourself?"

"I haven't." Y/N said sitting up but layed back down feeling light headed as she was trying to push back the thoughts. Whispers of her being a burden enter her mind, now they won't want her but felt Rebekah cup her face.

"You aren't a burden and we would always want you." Rebekah said as Y/N realized she had said that all out loud and began to cry only to get piled on by her lovers. It was one step at a time as none of her lovers left her alone, Elijah made she stay in at least one of their beds and Klaus and Kol made sure she ate while Rebekah had been keeping Hayley away from the Abattoir.

Y/N was at a heathly weight but far from being okay so Klaus had her talk with Camille to get her to be in a healthy mindset. Y/N's road to recovery was rough as a few times she fell back into old habits but her lovers was quick to get her back on track.

"Thank you for not giving up on me." Y/N whispered as she as cuddled up to Kol with Rebekah as they all was watching a movie. Both Rebekah and Kol placed kisses on her skin as Elijah and Klaus smiled softly.

"We would never give up on you love." Klaus said as Y/N smiled feeling comfortable. By all means Y/N wasn't better but for now she felt loved and safe knowing that they would never allow her to feel like that again.

[taechaos]

Silent Treatment

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you.

warnings: slight angst, drugs, arguing, dubcon, cunnilingus, mild degredation

word count: 4.2k

tags: @mwitsmejk @1-in-abillion @kooookie

a/n: the request (contains some spoilers). i'm gonna take a very short break from this couple to write other requests!! hope u enjoy 💗

The shift in the Spring weather is unpredictable. One moment it’s chilly, and the other sunny. Humans can only adapt so much, and it causes an outbreak of common colds. Most people recover easily, handy medicine soothing their sore throats, syrups suppressing coughs, and nose sprays ridding the blockage. You, on the other hand, are not that lucky. With a weak immune system, you’re very careful to not get sick, but there must have been a slip-up because you’ve somehow lost your voice after catching a cold.

You sniffle and cough, but you can’t speak. It’s advised to not exert your vocal cords in cases like these, and that is just so unfortunate for you. The last thing you’d ever want to do is spread your sickness to Jungkook, and that meant not getting too close to him; it meant no kissing. 

A very large white placard is spread out in front of you on the wooden table, and you’re plastering printed images of a specific global issue on it. You’re sitting on a bench with two of your friends as they chatter mindlessly while you work. Jungkook has a project about climate change due in a few days, and it’s supposed to be very important for his final grade. You’ve already written him a script for his presentation along with a stick prop to point at specific pictures. It’s fun, glittery and he’s going to love it. 

“Hey,” Minnie, your friend, calls for you, “we’re going to get some coffee from Starbucks. Want us to get you green tea?”

Soyeon laughs when your eyes light up; it’s your favorite beverage, and it’s supposed to help with your sore throat. They leave with a smile after you give them a hyper nod and you’re alone as you adjust your woolen scarf around your neck. You need to heal as fast as you can so you’re no longer missing your beloved’s affection.

Jungkook has been feeling more inclined to approach you without reason lately, but that doesn’t mean it’s a common occurrence. Getting teased by his friend, specifically Taehyung, about having a sissy crush on a girl like yourself angered him to no end. A hit always got him to shut up, but not for long. He’s walking your way today because there’s no one around to judge him for talking to you. 

You’re tearing a double-sided tape when he sits on your table, carefully avoiding your materials. Your breath hitches as his eyes gloss over your work in progress. “Working hard, I see,” he comments with disinterest. He doesn’t say anything about your efforts, but he’s impressed. The corner of his lip tugs upwards before he leans in for a kiss. You have enough self-control and concern for his well-being over your desires to lean back before your lips make contact. His face is close to yours as he pauses and slightly frowns before trying again. He receives the same results and finally pulls back. 

“You did well,” he frowns at you and speaks as if you’re a child, “I’m praising you.” Your eyes are darting back and forth awkwardly and you don’t know what to do other than sit in silence. You put your hands on his knees as a resort and his frown deepens as he watches you. “I can take a hint, you know. You don’t have to fucking ignore me.” He roughly shoves your hands and stands up before storming off with a scoff. You’re torn between following him and being responsible over your belongings. You can’t let his grades go to waste because of a small misunderstanding, so you decide to text him instead. There’s always a possibility someone might steal his project. Or maybe after he’s cooled off? You delay the message, but somewhere in your heart, you’re satisfied by his reaction because it’s clear that he wanted to kiss you.

Heavy footsteps clomp against the sidewalk before Jungkook slumps on the seat next to Taehyung. It’s an isolated area for smoking students at the back of the campus, and his friend group is no exception to this role. They’re taking drags of cigarettes individually as Jungkook glares at his boots. They’re chunky and a bold black, and his dark outfit paints him as the big bad wolf. It fits, because he’s ready to attack when he’s filled with so much resentment. Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you. It doesn’t make sense, but you also grimaced at him, but then why were you doing his homework? He’s feeling frustrated, and upset all the same.

“Someone’s troubled,” Seokjin points out with a mouthful of smoke. “Kookie?”

Said boy only grunts in response.

“Did the lousy girl finally see you for who you really are and leave you?” Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to mock him with a pout. “Tragic.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jungkook spits and sends him a death glare, fire flaming in his fierce eyes. “Go actually talk to a girl or something, and leave me alone. I can’t take your shit right now.”

The low blow doesn’t affect Taehyung in the slightest as he holds up his hands in defence with comically wide eyes. “Relax, tiger.”

“Moving on from Tae’s inability to talk to girls in broad daylight, what’s up with you Kook?” Namjoon butts in, earning a fake cough from the receiving end of the insult.

He pauses for a moment before babbling, “I hate those bitches. My mother for one, couldn’t stand wearing clothes whenever she saw a dude. Moving on from guy to guy, unless they’re a fucking asshole. What do they want? Why are they never fucking satisfied?!”

A moment of silence passes among the huddled friends before Yoongi breaks it with a joke, “Who’s the lucky girl?” It doesn’t land as Jungkook deeply sighs in response. “Did she cheat on you?” he tries again.

“No,” he murmurs.

“Then…?”

“She… I don’t fucking know, she gave me the silent treatment. She leaned away from me too,” he shakes his head with a quiet groan, “it just doesn’t add up. I got mad and left.”

“No way that could’ve ended up badly,” Taehyung chuckles but purses his lips when he’s sent another dirty look.  “How long was the interaction anyway?” 

“Like 30 seconds.”

“Are you coming out tonight?” Yoongi asks and puts out the burning tip of his stick. “Could help you feel better.”

“And we’ve got molly,” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alcohol’s effect on a person differs in moods, and Jungkook is usually a horny drunk. Being a sad drunk is a first for him tonight, but he’s just so confused. It made his heart drop when you outwardly refused his advances and anxiety blossomed in his chest, which he has no idea how to deal with. It kicked in fight or flight instincts, and he just… hated the idea of you not loving him, even if it’s momentary. He can’t bear staying in a situation that makes him feel so insecure, and that feeling is supposed to be left in his childhood. You just about brought out the worst in him without doing anything. 

You didn’t do anything.

It’s 10PM and he’s waiting on your usual good night text that he never responds to. It’s so pathetic, and he hates himself for being so used to your affection that it worries him when he’s deprived of it. He’s never doubted your love for him, but his insecurities are churning his gut. It’s an overflow of all of his pent-up emotions, and he can’t handle it.

“Here,” Taehyung pops in out of nowhere, clutching a pill in his hand. There’s a bottle of water in the other as he holds them out for Jungkook to take. “Stop moping and get laid.”

“I’d say the same to you, but you’d probably start crying during sex,” he mumbles and uncaps the bottle before throwing in the pill and washing it down with the water. “Thanks.”

“See that girl over there?” he ignores him and steps behind his miserable friend to point at the owner of the sultry gaze directed at Jungkook from the bar. “She wants to fuck you. Or maybe me, but I’m passing her onto you.”

“How kind of you,” he sarcastically replies.

“Uh-uh, so you’re gonna be in ecstasy in about 10 minutes. Don’t fuck this up.” He slaps his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. It’s a lonesome party because not a lot of people are allowed in when drugs are involved. Causing a ruckus, receiving a noise complaint and then getting arrested is out of the question. 

He isn’t interested in sex with a stranger - not today at least -, but he hopes for it to change as he waits to approach her. Maybe drugs will rile him up enough to have fun with someone else and rid his mind of you. It’s an annoying itch on his brain, so he rests his head against the couch to comfort himself with the soft fabric. He’s sleepy from the beer he drank earlier, and he doesn’t know how time goes by so fast when he closes his eyes.

A few minutes must have passed, because he’s starting to feel dizzy in his seat. A smile carves on his face as his mind grows slightly fogged, and he opens his eyes to find the girl quietly chatting with a friend. When she glances at him, he beckons her to come over. She mouths a “be right back” to her friend before strutting in his direction.

“Hey,” she smiles down at him before sitting on the couch. She’s aristocratic, chic and pretty. “Sorry if I weirded you out earlier.” Her voice is sweet like honey, and her words flow out of her tongue so naturally. A dream girl, really, and Jungkook is starting to get horny.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures with a subtle seductive tone, “what’s a girl like you doing with this crowd? You look too innocent.” He wraps a finger around a strand of her hair and twirls it. It feels strange.

“My friend sent me here, told me to watch over someone,” she lowly speaks. “I’m Soyeon.”

“Nice to meet you, Soyeon,” he breathes before crashing her lips with his. His hand reaches down to grip her thigh, tongue poking out to swipe the sticky gloss. It’s flavored, and it tastes of strawberry. When she kisses him back so slowly, innocently, it turns him on so much. His pants feel tight around his crotch as he runs another hand through her soft hair. Compared to him, she’s passionate whereas he’s sloppy. He’s starting to get dizzier, and it feels so fucking good, but he hates it.

There is not a single reason for him to not enjoy this, not when his mood is lifting so high. The hand on her thigh lands on her cleavage instead and she’s so submissive and shy, but something’s off. He groans into her mouth before biting her lip, ripping a whine out of her. Why does she sound so sexy and annoying?  

He pulls away from her before sighing in irritation. “Fuck, I can’t do this.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No, just, fuck.” He starts laughing before rubbing his palms on his eyes, “I really want to fuck, but I just can’t.”

“We can just chat,” she softly suggests. “What’s your name?”

“Jungkook.”

He removes his hands from his face when she goes silent. Her eyes are wide and she’s gaping at him… guiltily? “Crap,” she hisses quietly, “I was supposed to make sure you were okay. My roommate is like, super in love with you and asked me to come here.”

He says your name in a question, wondering if it’s you. When she nods, he asks for your dorm instantly.

“She’s in room 124… Why?”

When he stands up, there’s a sway in his posture but he recovers quickly. There’s an involuntary grin on his face as he thanks her ignorantly. He’s out of the villa in a rush, and he has the overwhelming urge to just run. The campus is a bit far away from the house, but he doesn’t care as his footfalls echo in the dark streets. He has so much energy to waste, and with his current stamina, he’s confident he’ll find you before dawn. It’s stupid but it’s fun, and he doesn’t care for catching his breath as the corner stores pass by him in a blur. 

Throughout the two hours of his reckless jog, where he mixed up directions multiple times, his mind is starting to clear up little by little. He’s happy because of what Soyeon told him, and he feels relieved upon seeing the familiar college building. He’s not allowed in dorms at this time, but he’s done this too many times to get caught. Except he was drunk in those instances, and being on MDMA was different. Sneaking past security was tough because he couldn’t bring himself to tiptoe without making so much noise. When they glanced at him, he thought it to be the only choice to just run past them. He’s in the elevator by the time they catch on, and the numbers look wonky in his eyes but he presses the button for the right floor. 

He’s shifting his weight repeatedly in an attempt to contain his excitement; he wants to see you so bad. The moment he hears the ding of the elevator, he’s running past the halls and stops upon seeing 124. He has to squint, but he knows this is your dorm. 

You wake up with a silent gasp when there’s a pound on the door. You clutch your sheets in fear until someone starts to sing your name. “Jungkook?” you mouth to yourself. You stand up and look through the peephole and there’s a man on the other side who’s bouncing on his feet impatiently.

“Open up,” he sings loudly. You’re worried when you swing the door open and yank him inside so he doesn’t wake up any other students. You try to talk but only a wheeze comes out, so you switch on the light to see him instead. The brightness hurts your eyes as you close them for a few seconds. “Well, well, well, look who we have here…”

He starts to circle around you slowly and stumbles behind you. “Sending people to spy on me after rejecting me like that.” His words are slightly slurred and you turn around to face him with a pout. You point at your throat to give him a hint, but his eyes don’t waver from your pleading ones. “What are your intentions, huh?” he weakly pushes you, “Sending me mixed signals. Who- who do you think you are?”

You hold his hands and place them on your neck, trying to communicate with him by mouthing, “I’m sick,” but he only chuckles. He seems sickeningly joyous, but he’s not over his anger. “Still not going to talk to me? What did I even do?”

You deeply inhale from your nose because he’s not paying attention to you. You’re frustrated with yourself until he yells, “WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?” The surge of serotonin, his state of euphoria is crashing down on him the more you ignore him. He had believed the drug would only make him happy, but it intensified his sadness and anxiety just as much when he saw you. It helped him forget you in a social circle, but you confused him so much after he was reassured for so long - coupled with your silence, he’s raging.

“Why are you ignoring me?! What did I do that was so bad that you can’t bear talking to me anymore? You told me you loved me, please,” he chokes and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’ll make it up to you, I’m so sad right now. Just say something…”

You’re watching him in shock and a hint of fear from his fluctuating mood. You want to cry at how pitiful he looks, but instead you aim to grab a piece of paper from your bedside table. He misreads your actions and pushes you against the wall. “Stop this. Stop!” He has your arms pinned and he’s trying so hard to intimidate you so you give in. A dry sob leaves you because he's going mad, but then he has a sudden epiphany. “Maybe you’ll love me again if I fuck you hard enough and engrave it in your brain that you’re mine. Yes, yes!”

He starts unbuckling his belt and you immediately try to stop him; he’ll get sick! He shoves you again and pulls down his jeans before mashing his mouth against yours. All of your efforts have gone to waste when his tongue forces its way down your throat. There’s no point to denying him now, so you hesitantly kiss him back. You’re so guilty, and he’s so careless as he roughly pushes his hand down your white cotton shorts. You’re wearing a navy blue sweater to match so you don’t get cold in the night, but the shorts are meant to prevent a fever. What’s the point now, then? He hasn’t even read your texts that you only remembered to send before sleeping. He missed a whole paragraph of your explanation and confronted you so angrily.

“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he growls against your lips, “then you’ll remember how much you love me.” Your moans are quiet and hitched as he presses down on your clit through your panties. His other hand is on his cock as he strokes it eagerly, ready to get inside you. “I missed you so fucking much in one day,” he whispers in a croak. Hearing it makes you feel even warmer inside as you nudge his hand to urge him to enter you. “You missed me too, huh?” he takes notice of your neediness. “Shouldn’t have fucking brought it upon yourself then.”

He removes his hand from your shorts and taps your thighs before demanding, “Jump.” You bite your lip in consideration until he taps them harder and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. Your shorts are relatively short, resembling loose boxers, so when your back is pressed against the wall he only pushes them and your underwear to the side before thrusting into you. A scream gets caught in your throat, and you forget all about your aches as he roughly fucks into you without caring for protection or lube. It stings only slightly, but the pleasure in feeling so full of him outweighs the pain.

Jungkook is moaning and groaning as he bruises your thighs in his hold. Your panting is all he can catch, and though the feeling of you is an amplified sensation because of the drug coursing in his system, he wants to hear you chant his name as well. “Still quiet?” he tuts and carries you to your narrow bed and you cling onto his shoulder while trying to catch your breath after the sudden attack. “Your cunt is throbbing though,” he says as he pulls out of you and drops you on the bed. He manhandles you by flipping you on your stomach and holds up your ass. He finally takes off your bottom clothing, but he’s slightly dizzy as he yanks them off your ankles. He spreads your thighs apart and you’re on your knees with your head against the mattress. “I wonder why that is,” he says before slapping your pussy, making you whimper quietly. “So wet, yet you don’t even make a sound. Some whore you are.” You purse your lips and muster a whine, but it’s interrupted when he pistons his cock inside you without warning. Your sounds are hoarse as he pounds into you from the back, hands kneading your ass to the shape of his hands. He gives it a spank as he moans loudly; the new position makes it feel so much more intense, and Jungkook loves it. His ears finally get to hear your pathetic mewls as he thrusts so deeply inside you that your vision blurs with tears and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You feel like a doll that can’t speak or move, and he’s evidently enjoying it going by his rushed pace. You’re challenging him with your silence, and he loves proving himself.

All of a sudden however, he stops moving. You look behind you with a pout and he quirks a brow at you. You grit your teeth because you know he's waiting for you to tell him to continue, or rather daring you to do something. A sudden surge of confidence overcomes you and you gently slam your hips against his, fucking yourself on his cock with your eyes screwed shut.

“Yes, baby,” he strains, “show me that you're still my good girl.” At his encouragement, you meet his thrusts faster and you're seeing stars at how amazing it feels. You want to be his good girl so bad, and you arch your back to savour the pleasure. “Your pussy is mine, all mine,” he affirms to himself and stills your hips to turn you around without removing his length. His fingers are digging into your flesh and your tits bounce under the fabric as he rams into you restlessly. Your mouth is open in a silent scream and he can barely make out your pupils, the whites of your eyes stirring his climax at how attractive you look under the poor lighting. “I love you so fucking much,” he cries, “say it back, baby.”

You try to, but you can only dryly cough. “You fucking bitch,” he hisses at your defiance and pulls out of you to pump his length. He’s close to his release, and he pushes up your sweater to see your hard nipples that make him salivate. He crawls to slide his cock between the valley of your breasts and it hurts when he harshly pushes them together. “Stick out your tongue,” he commands in a whisper, and you do so while panting like a dog. Every time he thrusts upwards, the tip of his head grazes your tongue and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He’s massaging your tits as he stutters between whines, and eventually his load spurts out to land on your chest and cheek with a particularly loud groan. His cum surges down his shaft as he rides out his high with the last slow thrusts. 

“Oh fuck,” he sighs airily and collapses next to you in the tiny space available. You clumsily turn on your side to give him more room and he pecks your swollen lips. He zips his pants back up and you’re still naked from the waist down. You’re staring at each other adoringly in the romantic, fragile atmosphere; another first.

“I love you,” you croak finally. It’s quieter than a whisper, and it makes you cringe at how hideous you sound; it’s painful as well.

His face lights up once he registers your words before noticing the tone. “What happened to your voice?”

“Sick.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything more as you snuggle into his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Shit,” he murmurs, “why didn’t you tell me that sooner, idiot?”

You slap a hand on his front pocket where his phone is, and he hastily takes it out to see a bunch of notifications from you. “You sent it at night, you’re still the idiot.” You giggle and roll your eyes. “A promise is a promise, though,” he purrs before cupping your bare heat. “I did say I would fuck you all night.” You widen your eyes when his head lowers down to face your sopping wet cunt, and he slowly licks up a stripe over your soaked folds, making you shudder and grip his hair. He’s leaving kitty licks all over your sensitivity, the tip of his tongue lightly brushing against your clit every now and then. Your hips lift involuntarily, and he finally takes your clit in his mouth and sucks on it loudly. He slurps your arousal before spitting it back on your hood, and you can only squeak in response. Your hazed mind only tells you that you want more, and he doesn’t fail to provide.

Two fingers enter your clenching hole, and he’s scissoring your walls as he messily eats you out. The pleasure from earlier returns all too soon and you know you won’t be able to last long. His lids are hooded when you glance down at him and the way he’s looking at you makes it even harder to resist your orgasm. The knot in your stomach picks back up right before unraveling and your moan is raspy as you start twitching under his relentless mouth. He grows gentle and leaves kisses all over your vulva until your body falls limp on the sheets.

After another round of penetrative sex, the two of you fall asleep from exhaustion in your bed. It’s a first for the both of you, and Jungkook decides in his drunken mind that tonight won’t be the last. It feels so intimate when he cuddles you, and you won’t ever forget his love confession.

The next morning is not so pleasant however, as Jungkook wakes up with a loud sneeze and in his now nasal voice says, “God fucking damn it.”

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

[daisys-gard3n]

All because of my dream all I can think about now is Demon!Diavolo stalking me in a haunted house and having his way with me. This is why I'm the bottom bitch.

my dark thoughts brainworms do be thinking rn

You're the foolish human that walked into his territory, but he allowed you to stay for so long because you seem like just the perfect prey after his 100 year slumber. Diavolo was always fascinated by humans who wanted to stick their nose in the occult, wandering into the land of the demons and other-wordly. It's like you want to walk into his web and be his little plaything.

Do you think you're special because you're coming to investigate? You of all people should know that hundreds of people disappeared here. But he admires your adventurous personality, a curiosity that killed the cat. Maybe he should play around with you for a bit.

Diavolo wasn't a fan of doing silly poltergeist activities, knocking things over just to give you a little spook. But a little bit of tampering never hurt, just a little flick and letting your flashlight go out so he could finally reveal himself to you. With the moonlight pouring into the window being the only source of light for you as you backed away in fear at the large muscular figure in front of you, seeing the large wings spreading from behind his back and the curved horns forming out of his forehead. Slit envy-green eyes peering down at you like a snake to a tiny mouse.

"It seems the little mouse is sticking their nose in someone else's affairs...Tell me." His hand reached out to you, his long black fingernails pointing into your chin. "Were you wanting to see something dangerous tonight? Since you oh so graciously presented prey to a predator?"

You run away, as expected, but Diavolo loves a chase. It's his territory and he'll get excitement pumping through his veins. You're such a pretty little thing, crying and hyperventilating while you run through each door of the haunted house and trying to run out of his grasp. You were far too naive, especially when he can hear that little heart pounding against your ribs while you try to silence your shortened breath as you hid away in an old dresser. Diavolo almost didn't want to rain on your parade since you went through all of this effort of trying to knock things over to block his path, but god was that frightened face leaking with tears so adorable. It turned him on so much to see you shaking like a little rabbit, a perfect little toy for the night after his long slumber.

Diavolo will shush you and tenderly stroke your face, all with a condescending smile with his sharp teeth as he coos at you to just let it happen. You were just a weak little thing, you cant fight a demon. Just let his lips and teeth mark up your neck, leaving bite marks and hickies on your skin as his sharp nails tore through your clothes. If you were struggling too much for his liking, Diavolo can simply hex you into a dazed state - you'll enjoy it much more when you're under the influence of aphrodisiacs in the air. A strong hand wrapped around your throat to where it could bruise as his fork tongue violates all of your privates, swirling around sensitive areas and slipping inside to make your toes curl and cry out as you grow more aroused for him. It's about time you came around to him, just let Diavolo breed you and all will be fine.

That cute and confused look on your hexed face is so tantalizing, especially when Diavolo pushes in his cock into you. Ruthless as the barbs of his shaft clung to your walls and brutally pumped in and out of you while the pink-haired demon searched for his orgasm. Grinning down at you and laughing as you could only babble and drool at the intense feeling of his demon cock, finding yourself cumming so easily for him multiple times as you cry out of overstimulation.

"Just feel me in you, little mouse...Give your whole body and soul to me! Feel me ruin you!"

[sevendeadlymorons]

Good noon! (Or morning/night) Hope you're doing well! I'd like to ask if you could do the one that was similar with "Brothers don't like MC?" But with the Dateables? 🙏👀 If not though! Then that's perfectly fine! Thank you reading my fair human person<3 pls take care!

Ok this was apparently really popular so here’s another with the lovely Dateables~

Writing Diavolo and Simeon was so hard, and I couldn’t even figure out how to write Luke so uhh I gave up heh sorry...

Brothers + Dateables Just Can’t Seem to Like MC

WARNING: Angst // Possible Emotional Abuse

—————————————

Lucifer

You could never understand the way he looks at you, or rather, how he ignores you after looking at you

His eyes are filled with hatred and you couldn’t understand why, you did nothing wrong yet he looked at you like you were a nuisance and a pain to be around

The way he said your name was cold and harsh and it reminded you of the way you were treated back in the human world, with so little respect, as if you were smaller and more insignificant than him

But little did you know, he hated you for everything you did. Your humour, your manners, the way you followed him around, expecting him to babysit you when he’s already pissed off with his brothers to begin with

He hates the way you loiter around him, waiting for a moment to talk to him only to be rejected and painfully ignored. He always enjoys watching your smile turn into a frown and your eyes slowly begin to water as you without hesitation turn to flee away from him

It tears you up inside, leaves your heart aching and you find yourself breaking down, tears flooding down your face as his cruel words repeat in your head

You’ve always wished that someone in any of these worlds would ever care about a human like you, but perhaps that wish may never come true

Mammon

You knew being around him annoyed him, why wouldn’t it? He was assigned to look after you; stripped of his freedom and privacy to be your new babysitter

You saw the way he looked at you in disgust, tears forming in your eyes as he throws insult after insult at you, not stopping when tears were flooding down your face after being called useless for the hundredth time

You wished he’d treat you nicer but you knew he only saw you as a weak human who’ll eventually be eaten by some lower demon which would rid him of you and his babysitting duties

Why must you always make life difficult for him, why should he deal with your fuck-ups? He wishes you disappeared, honestly

He can’t find a moment of peace with you around, constantly being called to save you from demons or to help you after getting lost, it’s such a hassle

It’s so hard to be there by his side all the time, constantly taking all the abuse he throws at you and being called sensitive when you break down in front of him

Your only wish is to make friends here. You thought maybe they’d care about you here, but perhaps life isn’t always that easy

Leviathan

He would never hold back when it came to you, worse than Mammon when it came to insulting you as you bite your lip to stop it from quivering

You were so insignificant to him and he let you know that, just a stupid normie who enjoyed getting in his way and pissing him off with your humour and your constantly loud personality

He ignores you, pushing you away and rejecting all conversations, and when he wasn’t doing that, he was insulting you until you felt it deep in your heart, your stomach sinking as you realise the Devildom will be no different from the human world

You knew your sadness irritated him as his brow furrowed and his lips crease into a grimace at how pathetic you looked stood in front of a powerful demon like him

It took all of him to not get physical with you as he’s not stupid enough to make Lucifer punish him for it, but in his head, he wants you gone

You never knew what you did wrong with Levi; you shared multiple interests with him yet he would continue to scoff and tease you and brush you off, locking himself back in his room

You sit alone at night in floods of tears, no one to talk to as you realise just how alone you are here and just how desperate you were for someone, anyone to like you

Satan

Nothing you said got his attention, well, not in a positive way anyway

You were a nuisance, he said it himself as he grabs your face, threatening you for the god knows how many times this week

He hates the way you were always around him, following him like some kind of dog and asking him meaningless questions that he had no interest in answering. You would him up, made him so angry sometimes that he wish you would just disappear. He didn’t care where to, as long as you weren’t in his sight

He loves to see you cry after telling you exactly how he feels about you and how every single one of his brothers and friends feel about you. You were nothing to him and you never will be

You’re brainless and clumsy and he doubts you’ll survive down here, not with how naive you were

You wanted so badly to befriend him, or at least for him to see you as a worthy person. You had enough shit thrown at you in the human world and all you wanted was a friend, someone to talk to and laugh with

You’ll forever have to remember that he does not care about you and you’ll forever be stuck alone

Asmodeus

Straight away, Asmo took a disliking to you, grimacing and inching away from you whenever you were near him, like a disease

Every time you tried talking to him, he wouldn’t even let you finish a sentence as he walks away, laughing at your pathetic excuse of a conversation along the way

He made your life Hell as he threw backhanded insults at you, making you feel worse than you already did and causing you to feel disgusting and unwanted

The avatar of Lust didn’t even want you, so you always wondered who ever would

In truth, he hated you for no particular reason. He just saw you as weaker than him and took advantage of that, making you feel worse and worse every day until you eventually decided to leave him alone, as he truly couldn’t stand your face nor your plain personality

You always end up alone in your room after a day of torment, tears flooding down your face as you stare at an empty screen, feeling so alone and unwanted

You wish he had a reason to hate you, you’d change yourself so he’d actually like you then. You just wanted someone to talk to and someone to love you, but perhaps you were just meant to be alone

Beelzebub

He hated how you were so curious, and so small compared to him. Just another human that he could easily devour in seconds

His eyes were always so dull when he looked at you. So emotionless and unbothered by your presence. And it hurt because they immediately lit up when his brothers walked in. Why couldn’t he look at you like that...?

He’d steal your food, snarling at you when you protest and terrifying you if you even went close to his food in the fridge. You knew he had it in for you and you just wish he didn’t

He saw you as lower than him, enjoying the tears that formed in your eyes when he would insult you and call you names, pushing you to limits that would soon break your heart

Some days he would ignore you and those normally hurt the most as you were forced to walk behind him and Belphie whilst they were laughing and having fun, leaving you behind like you weren’t even there

Nothing you could say could ever make him like you and you slowly began to accept that as you distanced yourself, allowing him to take your food and be his punching bag in a hope that maybe he’ll start to like you...

He was always so nice to everybody but you, just like everybody in the human world and you were so sick of it, so sick of the pain and the tears. You just wanted a friend in this dark, scary place

Belphegor

Seeing you just made him hate humans harder as he realised just how pathetic and annoying they all were

He never smiled nor made proper eye contact when you were around, all you got was a snarl, the cold shoulder and an occasional threat when he’s in a particularly bad mood

He reminds you how easily he could kill you; wrap his hands round your neck and suffocate you again like before. He likes to see the terrified look on your face as you back away from him

You were so scared of him, but you just wanted to befriend him because you felt alone and you wanted someone to reassure you that you’d be safe by their side, but he never let you feel that way, not even for a second

You couldn’t go near him whilst he slept without almost being injured and you also couldn’t be near him whilst he was awake because he’d insult you and make you feel sick to your stomach, feeling tears well up quickly

You break down, cradling your knees to your chest as you sob alone in a dark unfamiliar room with no one to turn to

Sometimes you wonder if you’d be better off actually dying by his hands as it’s all the same, wherever you go, everybody around you torments you and makes you feel awful

Diavolo

He loves everyone around him but when it came to you, he wishes he’d never even thought of the exchange program to begin with

You were obnoxious and so different to what he expected any normal human to be like

He kept his composure and mannerisms as royalty but he made it his job to ignore you and avoid you as often as he could

He knew it looked unprofessional on his side but he didn’t care as he continued to dodge you and skip past your questions in group meetings, giving you the cold shoulder when he saw you at RAD or in the castle when you visited

When he had to talk to you, the first thing you noticed was his dull, unentertained eyes and his lack of a cheery smile that he normally showed around Lucifer and his brothers. It made you feel so upset and like you were being treated differently

You thought maybe he would like you, but as the days passed and he kept on avoiding you and scowling at you when you occasionally bump into him, you knew it wouldn’t happen

He was the one who forced you to come here and you couldn’t even leave because who was there to go home to...

Barbatos

The Butler was the first person you saw, and he was also the first person to scowl at you in the Devildom

He normally had a serious look on his face, but when he sees you, it’s like his whole personality changes and he’s suddenly rude and harsh

You did nothing to him, not said one word, but it’s like he held something against you and it broke you. He didn’t even give you a chance and you could do nothing about it

You tried to befriend him because you wanted to so badly. Walking with him when he had free time and asking him questions to start conversation but nothing seemed to work, he just kept ignoring you

He wouldn’t insult you though, he wouldn’t even speak and that made it hurt even more as he stared you down with those dull eyes of his, forever judging you for absolutely nothing

You thought maybe assisting him around the castle would make him like you: cleaning up, helping cook. Just basic things that could make his life easier. But nothing worked, and he just left you to stand alone, heartbroken

You felt overwhelmingly lonely with no one to tell you how to survive this place or how everything worked. You realised you had a place nowhere in this world and that stung you hard as you felt tears finally drip down your cheeks

Simeon

You thought maybe an angel would be your friend, but as you watched him take one look at you and leave, your hope crumbled and your heart sank to your stomach

He walked past you every day, saying nothing as you waved at him to say hello, moving away from you so you didn’t touch him

He knew when he saw a human not worthy of his time. But he wasn’t going to insult you, he’ll spare you that heartache at least. He didn’t have any reason to dislike you, he just didn’t want to involve himself with someone like you. Someone so visibly lonely

Some days he’ll give you a pitied smile and a wave and watch your face light up. He honestly felt sorry for you, so lost in this new world, but he didn’t have the time to babysit a human like you

You’d follow him around, desperate to get his attention but you’d never actually get it. You’d get an excuse to not be there. All the time

You can’t help but cry, breaking down at the thought of being stuck here alone. Even an angel doesn’t like you, so nobody ever will

It’s always been this way though. People would avoid you and make excuses to not hang around you, everybody was the same; you felt foolish to believe anybody would ever see something in you

Solomon

When he heard another human would be here, he never expected someone like you

His first interaction with you was so clearly half arsed as he introduced himself, giving you that little bit of hope that maybe finally you’d found a possible friend only for him to never speak to you again after that

It broke your heart how nobody gave you a chance and just saw you as a weak human who needs demons to fend for them in this terrifying world

He may’ve pitied you though, seeing such a lost human like yourself made him remember how he used to be when he first entered the Devildom. But unlike you, he wasn’t useless

You tried to talk to him but you always got ignored or given a back handed insulted that would give you memories to when you were little in the human world

You thought being a human he’d understand how you may feel and you two may get along, but his eyes were always unbothered and he never smiled at you like he did around the brothers or the angels

Never in your life have you felt more ignored by your own kind and you lie alone in bed, thinking about all the shit he says to you over and over again and how little your importance is in all 3 worlds

Part 1 is here

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted 17 - Mind Games [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, angst.

Word Count: 4700

Summary: Love demands sacrifices.

Not even once in your life had you ever imagined yourself in handcuffs, in an interrogation room on the wrong side of the table.

You weren’t even at the FBI headquarters though. The police had taken you to the station after the hospital, taking a blood sample and your fingerprints, then they had handcuffed you and left you there with a glass of water.

Of course they suspected you. Of course they thought you had murdered him.

Murder was your father’s legacy, after all.

You traced the handcuffs over your wrists, already feeling the bruises forming there. The shock still hadn’t worn off but you were starting to think it was a good thing. It felt as if you were watching all of this from behind some kind of glass window, perfectly aware of every single emotion but unable to actually feel them.

Spencer had said when you felt threatened, your body produced nervous energy, some sort of a fight or flight reaction but for once you weren’t trying to do any of that.

You just sat there, completely frozen.

“You look calm,” the police officer spoke, making you look up, trying to ignore the faint yelling coming from outside, possibly from the end of the hall.  

“I’m sorry?”

“Most people would be traumatized if this happened to them, they’d be crying, shaking…” he motioned at you, “But look at you. Still as a statue. You look pretty calm.”

“Would you rather if I were crying?”

“I’d rather if you were acting like a human being,” he said, “Why are you so calm?”

Why were you so calm?

Because your mother had taught you this much. Showing emotion when you were afraid meant weakness.

“My father was a serial killer,” you stated, looking him dead in the eye, “I’ve had a complicated childhood.”

“Yeah, I’d say…” he leaned in slightly, “You know, I’ve watched that documentary about your father. His interviews too.”

You raised your brows as he sniffled, trying to look like he was nonchalant about this whole situation.

“And I’ve spent sixteen years on this job,” he said, “After a while, you don’t even need anyone to speak for you to know what they’ve done. It’s all in their eyes and little girl,” he clicked his tongue, “There’s nothing behind your eyes but ice and death.”

You couldn’t cry. You wouldn’t cry. Not in front of people, not even if they tried to kill you. No matter how much they tried to hurt you-

No emotions.

“Impressive,” you managed to say, “Very poetic. Have you ever considered changing your career?”

“You know what I think?”

“I’m sure you’re about to enlighten me.”

“I think you wanted to follow your father’s footsteps,” he said, “I think you killed Anthony, and all those other people. It’s not even your fault, is it? Some people are just born broken.”

That was more than enough to make your eyes snap up to his and you could feel the lump in your throat but you bit your tongue so hard that you swallowed blood, making sure to keep your expression still.

“Nothing to say?”

“You’ve already decided what to think of me,” you said, “And I already told you what happened. What more do you want to hear?”

“Right,” he scoffed, taking a look at the file in front of him, “You went to bed around 12, didn’t wake up whole night, when you woke up you found him like that. Lying in a pool of his own blood, in your kitchen.”

“You don’t look like a whiskey girl.” an unfamiliar voice made you turn your head and you lowered your glass, tilting your head. The guy smiled at you, and stole a look at the whiskey glass you had put on the bar.

“Yeah?” you asked, “What girl am I then? If you’re such an expert?”

He thought for a moment, “Hmm, wine?”

“Depends on the occasion.”

“What kind of an occasion does whiskey call for?”

“Apparently an occasion for meeting guys with bad pick-up lines.”

He let out a chuckle, “Yeah, I swear I’m normally smoother than this.”

“I would hope so,” you grinned, and offered your hand, “Y/N.”

“Anthony.”

“But you failed to mention the part you texted him to come to your apartment.”

“I didn’t text anyone.”

“We have your phone Y/N.”

“I didn’t text anyone,” you repeated, “Someone must’ve drugged me and taken my phone, the same person who killed him, the same person who obviously broke into my apartment.”

“How convenient.”

You clenched your jaw.

“I always wake up during night,” you said, your voice completely calm and controlled. “Always. I never woke up last night, there has to be a reason for that.”

“If you’ve been drugged, it will come up on the blood tests.”

“Good.”

“While we wait for that,” he said, “Why don’t we go over what you did last night?”

You took a deep breath, “I woke up,” you said “Went to work. I left work at 7 to go to my sister’s place. I left there around eleven, came home and went to bed.”

“Nothing else happened.”

“Nothing else happened,” you repeated and he sat up straighter.

“Okay. Well just so you know, Dr. Spencer Reid—” he started and your head shot up, your heart slamming against your chest, “He is giving us his professional opinion at the moment, about this case and what might have really happened this morning. Do you have anything you want to change in your story before he’s finished?”

You gawked at him, blinking a couple of times before you turned your head to look at the one-way mirror on the wall.

The BAU was there, behind the mirror.

“….They came back?”

“We’ve sent them the report, yes. They landed an hour ago.”

It was as if somebody was trying to claw your stomach out of your body as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, trying to ignore the burning behind your eyes before you turned to the officer.

“I don’t have anything to change,” you managed to keep your voice stable, “It was a terrible thing, it definitely was but I didn’t do it.”

Someone knocked on the mirror, making you and the officer look that way before he pushed his chair back and left the interrogation room. You closed your eyes for a moment, focusing on your breathing through the blinding headache but opened your eyes when the door opened again.

Luke.

He offered you a small smile and pulled himself a chair.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, sitting up with your back straight, your hands clasped.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you stole a look at the one-way mirror, “Is he there?”

“Reid?” Luke asked and shook his head, “I had to basically wrestle him out of the hall, he’s…he’s not allowed here. Conflict of interest. He’s giving his statement at the end of the hall as we speak.”

You nodded, digging your fingernails into your palms. “Okay.”

“He also called your sister on our way here. Couldn’t reach her, but left a message. Listen, he can’t request it on your behalf, but you need to ask for a lawyer.”

“I didn’t kill Anthony.”

“I didn’t ask if you killed him, I’m saying you need to ask for a lawyer.”

“Does he think I did it?” you asked and Luke shook his head again.

“No,” he said, “But it doesn’t matter what anyone else believes at this point, Y/N. Ask for a lawyer.”

You kept your back straight, rolling your shoulders. “If Spencer left a message to Mina, she’s coming.”

“Is she a defense lawyer?”

“No but she knows a lot of them.”

He took a deep breath and put the bottle of your pills on the desk, “The officers also found this.”

You tried your hardest to focus, moving your wrists to help with the soreness of the handcuffs. “They’re prescribed.”

“I can see that. The side effects say confusion?”

You arched a brow, “I’m sorry, do I sound confused to you right now?”

“No, you sound way too controlled right now, I may as well have been talking to a robot.”

You gritted your teeth, trying to control the panic bubbling at the pit of your stomach, sending anger through your veins.

“I’m not confused,” you stated, “Besides, I haven’t been taking them lately.”

He threw his head back, pressing his lips together, “God, Y/N, you can’t say that. A psychiatrist prescribed you something and you—“

“They’re just for nightmares, they don’t make you…” you took a deep breath, commanding yourself to stay calm, “I didn’t kill him. I found him like that. It was terrible, but I didn’t do it.”

Someone opened the door again and Emily Prentiss cleared her throat.

“Luke,” she murmured, “Spencer.”

You could feel your heart skip a beat upon hearing his name but kept completely still as Luke left the room and Emily and JJ walked into the room.

“You’re taking turns now?” you asked and Emily cleared her throat,

“Me and JJ are the only people in our team who haven’t spent as much time with you, so we figured it would be better if we interrogated you.”

“I didn’t do it.”

Emily pulled herself a chair as JJ crossed her arms, standing by the wall.

“Can you walk me through what happened this morning?”

You took a deep breath, “I woke up,” you said, “With a headache. I knew something was wrong, I felt it. My window was open, the front door was half open and my phone wasn’t where I left it. I stepped outside my room, saw the blood, went to the kitchen and saw—“ you gritted your teeth and clenched your fists, “Saw my ex-boyfriend there. Dead. Lying in a pool of his blood.”

“But you heard nothing.”

“I never sleep for the whole night,” you said slowly, “Check my blood test. Something happened last night.”

“We don’t have your blood test results yet, but there was no sign of any sexual—“

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” You cut her off, a shiver running down your spine, “That’s not it. Whoever it was, they didn’t touch me, they wanted…”

“What did they want?”

You shrugged slightly, “I don’t know. They wanted me to see it I think. My…my father’s crime scenes.”

JJ took a deep breath and pushed herself off the wall.

“And you don’t think it’s a little too convenient?”

You pulled your brows together, looking at her and she stepped closer to the table, her eyes fixed on you.

“Two victims so far,” she said, “The ones that we knew that were in the same place as you, they had some connection to you. That woman who was killed at the charity ball, you didn’t get along when you were kids, you turned her down as a client before she was killed, and now your ex-boyfriend ends up dead, in your apartment because you sent him a—“ she scoffed, “I’m sorry, someone sent him a late night text, inviting him to your apartment.”

“JJ,” Emily started but JJ held up a hand while you tried to wrap your head around it.

She had a point. Two victims so far had some connection to you and that was not a coincidence, it couldn’t have been.

“You think I did it,” you rasped out and she scoffed.

“I think you had something to do with all of this,” she said, “I think you’ve been trying to manipulate Spencer for something. The best case scenario, you were cheating, that’s why Anthony was there and something went bad, the worst case….” She shook her head, “You’re behind every single murder we’ve been looking into, and Spencer was just a tool for you. He’s my best friend, and if I find one single proof that you put him in harm’s way, I swear to God I will destroy you.”

Two people had ended up dead, and that was your fault. The copycat was going after people who had some kind of connection to you, and apparently no one except you and your family was safe.

The idea was way too painful to even exist inside your head, but it was clear as day. JJ was right, you were putting Spencer in harm’s way just by being with him, and if it were him, if you had seen him lying in a pool of his blood, his eyes wide open—

You dug your fingernails into your palms until it hurt before you managed to lift your head, that invisible wall which kept you safe from anyone and everyone who could possibly see anything you felt going up again.

“You…” you trailed off, your throat burning, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“What does that mean?” Emily asked but before you could say anything, someone slammed the door open, making you and the agents turn.

Mina.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she asked no one in particular and stepped aside so that 4 lawyers could walk inside before the police officer rushed to you to remove the handcuffs off your wrists.

“You’re not saying another word,” she snapped her fingers, “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“We’re going to need her to sign some papers,” the officer said as Mina grabbed your wrist to pull you out of the room, making you hiss in a breath and she froze, lowering her glances to check your sore wrists for any bruises.

“What did they do to you?”

You shook your head silently, and something in Mina’s gaze shifted. You had seen it only a couple of times, including that time you were getting stitches after some girls in your classroom had ambushed you in the bathroom, and more importantly, you had seen that look on her face when Lily had fever that one time and you all had to rush to the hospital and the doctors said she couldn’t see her.

It was fire, similar to yours, ready to burn everything in its path.

“Don’t say anything to anyone. You two,” she motioned at the two lawyers, “Read whatever she’s supposed to sign.”

The lawyers approached the desk by the door as Mina put her coat over your shoulders, rubbing at your arms as you swayed slightly on your feet, trying to focus.

“We’re leaving, okay sweetheart?”

“Miss—“

“No,” When Mina turned to the police officers and the BAU team, any trace of softness in her voice disappeared, “You don’t talk. If you don’t want to get into even more trouble, you’re going to listen to me right now.”

The officer that had been with you at the interrogation room just blinked a couple of times, obviously taken aback.

“Do you have any idea what you just did to yourself?” she asked, “What you did to this whole precinct? Because allow me to explain, my sister was a victim in this scenario, and you tried to pin this shit on her to make her a scapegoat,” she shook her head, “We will be suing you for defamation of character—“

“Mina, your sister—” JJ started but she snapped her fingers at her.

“I haven’t even started with you yet, wait for your turn.”

“Mina…” you murmured but she didn’t even look like she could hear you,

“Where was I? Defamation of character because press will be all over this, intentional infliction of emotional stress and wrongful arrest and hey, to make things fun we will also be requesting the security footage in the interrogation room and if I see one very small slip of anything that wasn’t supposed to be said and done in that room…” Mina tilted her head, “Well, let’s just say that by the time I’m done with you guys and this whole precinct, the only thing you will be able to afford is going to be a typewriter and a desk.”

One of the lawyers came to tell you the document was alright to sign and as soon as you approached the desk, a door by the hall opened and Spencer stepped out.

It was almost excruciating not to be able to run to him. He looked as shocked as he was and he took a step towards you but JJ stepped in front of him as you grabbed the pen, ignoring the way your name spilled from his lips in a whisper.

“Oh, hi genius.” Mina called out, “Were you getting a glass of water while your team was hounding my sister or something?”

Spencer looked almost confused only for a moment before he turned to look at JJ who deliberately averted her glances from him.

“Mina, this is not necessary,” you croaked out as you signed the papers and she shook her head.

“No, this is very necessary, trust me. You need to show these people what you’re capable of or they will try to fuck you up, case and point.” She turned to Emily, “You’re the one in charge, I suppose?”

“I am.”

“Good. Consider this your warning, because the next time anyone in your team, including the puppy dog eyes over there gets any closer to my sister, we will be getting a restraining order for each and every one of you.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, still swaying on your feet and you hugged the coat around you tighter.

Not that you could do anything other than watching this.

“Your sister is an active part of this investigation, your father specifically asked for—“

“My sister is a civilian,” Mina growled, “She has no responsibility for this case, you do. How about you surprise me and do your fucking jobs?”

You took a breath to say it wasn’t fair, that it wasn’t their fault but Mina turned to look at you.

“Get in the elevator, we’re leaving.”

You were way too tired to fight her, way too tired to even stand there so you followed the army of lawyers to the elevator, while Mina shot the officers and the BAU members a fake smile.

“Pleasure, let’s never do this again,” she said, and got in the elevator with you, and you tried to keep your expression still, Spencer staring at you until the doors slid close.

“4 lawyers?” you managed to say, “I don’t think even Bundy had four lawyers.”

“Tell that to mom,” she said, “She was on the phone with a congressman the last I checked.”

You couldn’t even smile at that, but Mina let out a breath before pulling you into a bone crushing hug, making the tears rush to your eyes as you wrapped your arms around her.

“Never do that to me again, you hear me?” her voice cracked for the first time and you nodded slowly.

“I won’t,” you said, “I promise.”

                                                   ***

It was as if someone had pulled all your energy out of your body. You were exhausted, you could barely understand what anyone was saying but you knew there was no way you could sleep anytime soon.

The blood test, as the lawyers had informed you, finally came back and just like you suspected, they had found traces of chloroform in your system. That and your team of lawyers combined were more than enough to get rid of any kind of accusations against you, so at least you had that.

On the other hand, the fear, the guilt, the sadness were still there inside of you, even if you felt way too numb to reach it.

You wondered if Spencer would have a scientific explanation for that.

Your mother had insisted you would never step a foot into your apartment again, she was already looking for a new apartment for you, one with multiple security systems and until that happened she had told you you would be staying at her house.

The damn thing was way too big anyway and you and Mina had grown up there so you figured it would serve as some sort of shelter.

If it even existed for you.

“Here you go sweetheart,” your mother pushed the tea cup towards you, “Drink it, it’ll make you feel better.”

“I’m fine.”

Kenzie heaved a sigh, “It’s okay if you’re not,” she said, “No one expects you to, anyone would be traumatized.”

“The real estate agent already sent me three apartments,” your mother said, “Huge windows, you love a bright apartment.”

“Mom,” Mina said silently and she heaved a sigh.

“It could help her distract herself,” her head shot up, “Y/N, you should go on a vacation! Somewhere far away from here.”

“Somewhere peaceful could be nice?” Kenzie added, “I think that’s a good idea.”

You and Mina exchanged glances.

“I heard Fiji is lovely this time of the year,” your mother said and you let out a breath.

“Mom, two people died because of me,” you croaked out, “I’m not going to Fiji for vacation.”

“Honey, you could use some peace,” she held your chin carefully and lifted it so that she could look at you better, “You look so…”

“I look like how I feel,” you said and turned your head when the doorbell rang, making Mina sit up straighter.

“Who’s that?” she asked when the maid walked in.

“Spencer Reid?”

“What?” you and Kenzie asked at the same time, your heartbeat getting faster and Mina jumped on her feet but you stopped her, shaking your head.

“It’s okay,” you sniffled, nodding to yourself, “It’s….it’s fine. There’s no point in dragging it out.”

“Dragging what out?” Mina asked you but you walked out of the living room and reached the front door, trying to ignore the warmth filling your system as soon as your eyes caught the sight of him. You stepped out of the house and he pulled you into a tight hug, burying his nose into your hair and inhaling deeply as if it helped him calm down while you just stood there, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

You had to do it. No matter how much it hurt you, no matter how much you didn’t want to.

No matter how badly it would rip your heart out.

“You okay?” he asked you, his fingers pushing your hair behind your ear, “I tried your apartment but I figured…”

“Yeah, I’m not going back there,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I’ll move out, it’s fine.”

“Do you want to stay at my place?” he asked quickly and you closed your eyes for a moment, every cell in your body begging you to change your mind.

You couldn’t though. You’d rather die than see him lying in a pool of his blood, all because of you.

“Don’t say that,” you whispered and opened your eyes again, “Please don’t say that.”

He looked almost confused, tilting his head to the side like a puppy before it dawned on him.

“Is this about the file on me?”

You shook your head and he took a deep breath.

“About today?”

“I didn’t send that message,” you said, “To Anthony, I mean. I wouldn’t…. I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“I know that.”

“And I didn’t kill him. I don’t know if you heard, but the blood tests came back positive for—”

“I never doubted that, not even for one second,” he insisted, “With or without blood test.”

“You might be the only one,” you murmured and he paused for a moment.

“What did JJ say to you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Because we had an argument on the jet on our way back here and whatever she said…”

You shook your head again, trying to smile.

“I get it,” you murmured, “She’s your best friend, she’s protective of you. That’s normal.”

“Yeah but if she thinks that you’re capable of—”

“I want to break up.”

You could swear the words burned your mouth, some invisible hand clutching your heart tighter and tighter as you willed yourself to keep your eyes on the street, because you were sure that every wall you built to keep your emotions under control would crash down the moment you looked at him. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that he froze and he blinked a couple of times, as if he was lost.

“What?” he asked silently and you tried to swallow the lump growing bigger and bigger in your throat.

“Y/N, wait—no,” he said quickly, breathing hard, “Listen, whatever they said to you today during the interrogation, if that’s what this is about—”

“It has nothing to do with that,” you forced yourself to say, crossing your arms and he took a step closer to you.

“Whatever the problem is,” he rasped out, “We can solve it, okay? Don’t do this.”

That was when it dawned on you.

It wasn’t enough to push him away. You had to make sure to burn that bridge so that neither of you could ever find your way back to each other.

“It’s not one of your cases Spencer, you can’t solve this one,” you muttered and finally turned your head to look up at him, your stomach churning at the sight of betrayal on his face.

“I don’t understand.”

“You—it’s—“ you stammered, trying to find the words, “It’s going way too fast, alright? It’s going way too fast and it’s going to fucking crash, and I can’t—“ you cleared your throat when your voice cracked, “I’m not going to crash with this, I can’t.”

Your father had taught you this way too long ago, when you were too young to even question it.

Stab the prey, twist the knife, pull it back and watch them bleed.

Stab the prey.

“I mean come on Spencer, we’re not in love or anything,” you shrugged your shoulders, “Should be easy enough.”

He stared at you for a couple of seconds, his mouth slightly agape and his brows furrowed, shock written all over his face.

“We’re not in love?” he repeated, “You…you don’t love me?”

Twist the knife.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

His eyes searched your face, as if looking for any kind of clue that could tell him you were lying, or that it was a trick but for once, it was in vain.

You’d had spent years learning how to control your emotions and your expression when it came to heartbreak.

Pull it back.

“It’s not my fault if you’re in love,” you said, each word making you hate yourself more and more, “I can’t be held responsible for that.”

Stabbing yourself would’ve been less painful, you were sure of that but you knew you had to keep going. One last step, one last sentence and you would be done.

Watch them bleed.

“I never told you to love me.”

Then, silence.

You had to give it to him though, it took him faster than it would’ve taken you to pull yourself together if you were the one on the receiving end of this. He blinked back the tears, clenched his jaw and in a second, his gaze turned cold, exactly like yours.

“Yeah,” he said slowly, nodding, “You didn’t.”

But you had forgotten one small detail. 

Spencer knew how to withdraw that knife and stab back.

You cleared your throat and turned around to get inside the house but before you could step in, you heard his voice.

“I was wrong.”

You looked over your shoulder, clutching at the straws to keep it together, “I’m sorry?”

“I was wrong,” he stated, his voice was distant and held no trace of its usual warmth, “Before, I mean. In terms of behavior and psychology, you’re exactly your father’s daughter.”

With that, he walked away from the house, and you just stood there for a moment before stepping into the house and closing the door behind you, that comfortable haze of shock slowly withdrawing from your mind like mist. That hand squeezing your heart twisted it in your chest and you tried to breathe, pressing a hand on your chest.

“Sweetheart?” your mother called out as she stepped into the hallway, then slowly approached you, “You okay?”

It was impossible to stop the tears rushing to your eyes now and a gasp escaped from your lips as you shook your head.

“Mom,” you whimpered, “Please, my—my heart hurts...”

She rushed to you and shushed you gently, pulling you into a tight hug and caressing your hair as you slipped to the ground and you buried your face to her shoulder.

Then the sobs came.

Chapter 18

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.22

Obstacle

04/08/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,413

Warnings: angst, jealousy, marital problems, pregnancy, allusions to cheating (no actual infidelity), fluff, smug Loki

A/N: It took me SO long to get this chapter down. I wrote literally like a few sentence a day for a bit and then finally got some good chunks out. This has been a tough week but this chapter makes it all worth it! I hope y’all think so too. A lot of good stuff happens in this chapter, as in stuff that I really like. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work!

Please DO NOT repost my stories on any other sites or blogs.

REBLOGS are always welcome!

The shuffle around the palace as Loki escorts you through the front gate is overwhelming.

It’s safe to say that judging by your reception when you’d shown up in Heimdall’s tower located on the far side of the city, the Asgardians are happy to see you.

Armod is also happy to see you and you rush to get into your car before you can get swarmed by eager Asgardians.

Loki joins you in the back seat and lets Armod gush over his happiness at seeing you back home and healthy. And pregnant! More than anything, the people are happy to see the swell of your belly.

Many of the women are crying as you step out of the car at the palace gate, the men cheering enthusiastically.

Some of the children have found flower petals to throw into the air and it rains white, pink, and yellow blossoms.

It's the small waving hand of a little girl with ebony floor length braids that tugs too hard on your heartstrings and you give in to your impulse.

“Armod, stop the car, I’d like to greet the people,” you ask, swayed further by the eager faces of the young girl's siblings who flank her..

As much as being Queen had come unexpectedly and as much work as it's been, loving the Asgardians has never been a challenge and you've missed your people.

Their kindness has always been the best part of your day.

Armod gives Loki a quick look but stops the car just as the palace gates are opening.

He pulls over to the side, putting it in park before hurrying out to open the door for you.

“Are you sure?” Loki checks, reaching over to place his hand over yours on the seat.

“Of course. I owe them this. I’ve been gone for so long.”

“If you’d rather go in, we can find an excuse.”

“Loki,” you laugh once. “Is something wrong? Is there a reason I shouldn’t get out of the car?”

“Not at all,” he assures you. “I just don’t want you to force yourself. I know this pregnancy hasn’t exactly been easy on you.”

“I’m okay. And I’m sure they wanna see the proof that they have an heir coming. Really, Loki, I don't mind.”

Loki sighs, but gets out quickly to move around and take Armod’s place and offer you his arm.

Taking it, you pull yourself out, and after a long moment to steady yourself on your feet, you turn to face your people.

A large number of Valkyries suddenly pour from the open palace gateway and you wait as they line themselves in front of the gathering crowd. A simple border of control to keep you safe.

The people don’t seem threatened by the guard either and they continue to cheer until you raise your hand and call them to silence.

It only takes a few seconds for the noise to die, leaving only the ambient sounds of the city, wind, and the shuffling feet as more Asgardians and visiting humans gather.

“Hello,” you begin, voice a little shaky from nerves. “I’m...I-I’d like to start by first apologizing for disappearing. And then for being gone so long.”

The people watch and listen attentively, hanging on your every word. As your hands drop down to your belly to stroke it anxiously out of habit, their eyes are drawn to it and they seem to rattle with excitement again.

Looking down at your tummy, you contemplate the little one inside and the kicks he gave you earlier in the day.

He's really in there.

“It’s been a long journey to do what’s been expected of me. Difficult, actually. Giving you and Thor what we’ve all been hoping for is a privilege though. It's important that you all know that.

"However, I'm not as strong as all of you. I'm not as resilient. As soon as I knew that I was expecting the future prince or princess of New Asgard, I knew that I had to take precautions. I had to stop thinking like your Queen and just for a while, think like a mom. I told Thor that I wanted to take some time away from my duties as Queen if only to make sure that my pregnancy would take. In order to ensure the health of this baby.

“Im so very sorry if I caused any of you any worry or pain by disappearing. That was never my intention and it makes me...I can only say that I'm sorry. I hope that you all can understand why I left. The The thing is I’m happy to say that my efforts weren't wasted, clearly."

There's a rumble of gentle laughter that flows through the crowd and breaks the slightly somber mood your speech is causing. You give them a smile and they smile back.

"And while that does make me very happy, it has not been easy to carry this baby. I have been sick and weak but after some rest I'm now feeling stronger than ever. With the constant and careful care provided by Doctors Wilson and Alric, I’m finally able to resume my duties as Queen with the knowledge that this baby is strong and healthy and my body can take the strain of bringing him-or her into this world.

“I’m so happy to be back among my people, my home. You all are my family and it fills me with such joy to know that I have made you all proud.”

The people cheer, more and more gathering along the street so that it’s now clogged and impassable. Others have taken to peeking out of windows from the surrounding buildings or finding balconies and roofs to stand on to get a better look at you.

Their excitement changes to trepidation at the look on your face as you realize that now is the perfect time to address what happened yesterday.

They’re so attuned to your mood that they quiet down again and wait nervously for you to speak.

"On a more serious note, I know that many of you must have been shocked by the lies spewed onto the pages of the Watch. And I'd like to be as clear as I possibly can about my absence from the palace.

"I only left because of the concern I had for our future prince or princess. There was absolutely no other reason for my absence in our great city. While it is true that something did happen between Thor, Jane, and myself--well, I will only say that now I know that His Majesty the King of Asgard is wholly devoted to me and our family, just as he has been from the moment he accepted me as his wife.

"Not that I ever doubted it," you lie. No one needs to know how bad things are and it is true that now you know Thor is devoted to you.

So, it's not completely a lie.

"As a people," you continue. "We'll need to be vigilant about the people we choose to trust to come into our homes. We will be more cautious now, and as a woman…"

You swallow hard, thinking about the words itching on the tip of your tongue to tumble forward and make your heart clear. Maybe it's not right to say it? Maybe it isn't the queenly thing to do?

You don't care.

"As a wife and a soon-to-be mother, I will say that Doctor Jane Foster is not welcome in my home. She has proven to be unworthy of the trust we placed in her and while her expertise is an invaluable commodity that I am sad to lose, I would rather have the second best than risk the stability of my family."

To your surprise, there are a flutter of approving nods and smiles, wives and husband's looking scandalized by the confirmation that something went down but clearly it was Thor that had Jane kicked out. A few cheers come but they quiet down quickly.

"My love for His Majesty is unwavering. As is his for me. No marriage can be without it's struggles but Thor and I are as united as we have ever been. Both in love, devotion, to each other and you, our people. Together we will strive to protect this kingdom to the best of our abilities and with this child, I hope we can begin to lay down proper roots for us so that everyone on Earth will know that New Asgard is here to stay."

The crowd cheers. It's deafening and your hands are trembling so terribly even clenched into fists they shake.

"LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!" someone shouts and the others fall into the chant as it's picked up by what sounds like everyone in the crowd.

A cool hand presses against the center of your back and you lean towards him as he whispers in your ear.

"That was beautifully done, Y/N," Loki admires. "Now come along. You need your rest."

You cradle your bump and the crowd cheers louder as you wave while Loki leads you back into the car.

As it pulls away from the curb, the Valkyrie turn to follow behind you. Faces full of stern pride. Their gleaming armor shining bright in the late afternoon sun.

The large wooden and steel reinforced gates of the palace close with a thundering clatter and you lean back, heart suddenly clenching painfully. Your stomach turns and you feel like you might throw up.

You shut your eyes and open the window allowing the cooling air to help drive your nausea away.

"Y/N? You alright?" Loki checks, putting his hand on your arm.

"I'm fine," you assure him, unwilling to open your eyes.

"Are you sure? Only, you're looking a little green."

That doesn't actually happen does it? Do people look green when they're gonna throw up?

You assume he's exaggerating, but as the last bit of the swirl in your belly passes, you look at him with fearful eyes.

"I'm nervous," you admit.

"To see Thor?"

"Mm," you nod.

"He's missed you. He will probably try and hug you. Might even kiss you."

"I don't know if I can handle that, Loki."

"You'll have to. The guards around the palace are sworn to secrecy about anything that happens in here, but with the amount of information that magazine was able to get we're pretty sure there's a mole amongst our number."

You look away from him, frowning because the last thing you want is to hug and kiss Thor.

Well, that is, you really want to do those things. Which is why you shouldn't. Not until you can be around him with some kind of rational thought and control over your feelings.

You need to get a grip and come to terms with the reality of your situation before you can let yourself love hum.

You have to protect yourself.

It turns out that you have nothing to worry about.

Estrid who had come before you with your things is there to greet you. A few others of the palace staff come to see you and you're welcome back with fondness.

Because you know you have to play the part, you look for him.

"His Majesty had a sudden summons from the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, my Queen. He apologizes for missing your arrival but he's had the small dining room filled with all of your favorites.

"When you are finished with dinner, he has asked that you wait for him in his study."

Estrid's tone tells you she's wary for you. She wants to make sure you're okay.

The disappointment you feel gives you away not only to yourself, but everyone there to see your face fall as you caress your belly.

"A blessing in disguise?" Loki suggests in your ear for just you, but the smile on his lips says he knows better.

"He'll be back before it gets too late, Your Majesty," Estrid assures you, trying to soothe your sadness. "He promised. There’s nothing more he wants than to see you."

"I know," you smile at her, then the others before you head for the dining room, your stomach grumbling in anticipation of the foods you know are waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting is torture. You keep trying to read your book but your attention is pulled back to the door of Thor’s study every few seconds.

You groan, dropping the book onto the desk before throwing your head back with scrunched up eyes.

How is it possible to be desperate to see someone while also dreading it?

It feels like you'll die if you don't lay eyes on Thor but also like it'll tear you to shreds if you do. There's no winning here.

You gasp as the door opens and get to your feet in the same breath.

Thor's body is rising and falling heavily with his own labored breathing. He'd been running.

To get to you? No. You can't be swayed.

"I'm here."

His declaration is soft but heavy with meaning. More than just him announcing his arrival.

"Oh, aren't you a vision," he gushes.

"Hi," you whisper, only because you can't catch your breath.

He's wearing jeans, a plain black t-shirt stretched across his bulging chest. He's even more massive than you remember. Three months away has deprived you so fully that suddenly being in his presence leaves you hungry for him.

You want him so much.

"I've missed you, desperately," he confesses. "May I greet you properly?"

You frown, so undecided.

"Or not," Thor relents. "Forgive me, I just got caught up in the moment."

Why is this so hard?

You want to feel him.

"You can greet our baby properly," you give in.

A big part of you needs to feel him and this is the only way you can give in and feel like you're still doing your best to hold strong in your resolve to get some distance.

Thor’s eye lights up and quickly finds the swell of your tummy with recognition.

"Really?"

"I will never keep you from our baby, Thor. Even if I'm not ready for things to go back to normal between us just yet."

Thor takes a half step towards you and watches you carefully for any indication that you're not comfortable with his proximity.

You sigh, head tilted to the left slightly before you hold out your hand to him, beckoning him closer.

In three long strides Thor takes your hand and stops when he's only a foot away.

"Here," you gasp.

Your heart is in overdrive. Thor’s touch is doing things to your body. There's an initial rush of butterflies in your stomach and quickly you pull Thor’s hands to the spots where your baby is kicking in response.

Thor’s body freezes. He goes rigid. He even stops breathing.

For a moment you begin to worry that maybe you've broken him, until he suddenly drops to his knees.

He swallows hard, eyes pooling as he stares at the swell of your stomach as the baby continues to kick.

“They’re really in there,” he’s so choked up about it that his voice cracks around the words.

As he speaks, the baby kicks more.

Thor laughs but then leans in to kiss your stomach over the fabric of your dress.

“We really made her,” Thor gushes.

“Her?”

He looks up at you, confused for a second before he smiles wide, “Or him. It doesn’t matter. What matters is our baby is coming.”

Your heart swells, and you’re so happy that you could float away like a hot air balloon with the warmth flooding your limbs.

This is the moment you’d dreamt of. This is the moment that had been stolen from you by Jane and her lies. This is the moment that you and Thor had both been yearning for.

He’s so caught up in it, floating through the glow of this perfect moment that he presses his lips to your tummy again two more times before he’s rising, his hand hooked behind your neck as he meets your lips as he gets to his feet.

You’re so unprepared for it, so utterly lost in this sweet exchange between him and your baby that your lips pucker on their own.

He opens his eye and yours, already open, stare into his. He looks slightly shocked to find himself kissing you but he doesn’t stop.

Instead, his expression shifts into a pained look of desire. He pulls back, his hand dropping to grip your bicep.

“I would say that I’m sorry but I have been wanting to kiss you since the moment I left you three months ago.”

You say nothing, watching him, listening. You’re searching your soul to see if this is okay with you because it feels okay. Despite the sirens blaring in your mind about the restrictions you’d set for yourself when you’d decided to come back home, your body is telling you it needs this. Your heart is painfully aching at Thor’s touch.

You’ve missed it. You’ve missed him. 

“Is this alright? I can go.”

The idea of him going now feels like the end of the world. Rationally, you know that isn’t an appropriate response to his offering to leave you be, especially when you know you asked him for space for specific reasons.

“No,” your hands grip the sides of his t-shirt tightly, holding him in place without any actual strength since compared to him, you’re as mighty as a little mouse.

You refuse to look up at him, despite the crumbling of your resolve.

“No, don’t go.”

It’s an almost involuntary shy response to your diminishing shame at losing all control after his touch. After one kiss. You should be disappointed in yourself. And part of you is. However, that part of you grows increasingly small as Thor gently takes hold of your chin and guides your gaze up until you can meet his.

“I’m sorry, cherub. I will try and be worthy of you again.”

“I know,” you admit, knowing how sorry he’s been from the moment he realized that he’d done something that hurt you badly. “I know you are.”

“Can I kiss you, cherub?”

His voice is so deep, so alluring and coaxing that you drop your gaze again, fixing it on his collarbone before slowly you nod.

His arm winds its way around your waist and he pulls you to him before dipping down and catching your lips with his again.

He pulls away after a second because the swell of your belly gets in the way, but he laughs and looks down at it.

The pleasant sound of his happiness gives you too much joy.

As you begin to smile, Thor reaches down to press one hand to the side of your stomach while he pulls you against him again and kisses you this time with more fervor.

The longer he has his lips pressed to yours, the more enthusiastic he gets until finally you’re breathless and you pull back but instead of pulling away, you wrap your arms around him and fist the back of his t-shirt,

You bury your face against his wide chest and Thor brings his hands back up to caress the sides of your face, his lips kissing the top of your head.

“I know I may not have a right to say this, but thank you for coming home. Thank you for coming back to me. I thought I’d lost you."

His arms grow a little tighter, his heart is in an absolute stampede.

You turn your head sideways so that you can listen to his heartbeat.

"This is what I'd wanted," you whimper, starting to be overcome with the emotion of being reunited with Thor and things falling into place more easily. "This is how I'd wanted us to share this moment."

Thor sighs heavily, giving you one more squeeze before he pushes you back a little so that he can look at you.

“I’m so sorry that I robbed you of that. I was a fool,” he nods, his eye intense as he stares into yours with wordless declarations piercing into you.

The memory of your speech with the people when you arrived pops into your head and now with Thor’s arms around you it all feels a little like an overreaction. The past three months feels like a distant nightmare.

Or does this feel like a dream?

“Thor,” you begin but Thor’s lips are on you again, drowning out your words.

“Oh, to hear you say my name,” he declares and kisses you again.

Your mouth opens for him and you absolutely melt against his chest as he nearly dips you in passion.

He pulls back again, “Is this real?”

He kisses you.

“You feel so good in my arms.”

He kisses you.

“Your skin is so…” but then he hums and kisses you.

He dips down and with his arms tight around your waist but also careful with the swell of your stomach, he lifts you so that you’re level with his eye.

“I love you, so much, my cherub. Thank you, thank you for coming home. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I stayed away,” you sigh. “I need to be strong without you, Thor. I was hurt but I never stopped loving you.”

His face goes through shame, understanding, and then elation.

In a burst of subdued anger and aggression for what he put you through, you reach up and grab his shoulder. You dig your fingers in against the taut muscle then reach up to pull one of his ears.

You’re clearly not hurting him but he allows you to move his head, understanding the need to express your anger even if you’re not doing any damage.

“Never do that to me again,” you growl. “Never say that you’ll leave me. Why would you say that? Even in passing? You were so damn sure.”

“No, Y/N, I wasn’t. The moment I saw you, I knew that I could never leave you. I’m sorry. I could never even think those thoughts again.”

“You better not, or I won’t come back next time. I’ll disappear and you’ll never see me again.”

Thor takes your threat for what it is. A promise. Truth.

He shakes his head as he leans forward to press his forehead to yours, shutting his eye.

“I swear,” he begins. “On my life.”

He keeps you there, hovering over the ground with your heads together for a few minutes before he slowly lowers you to the ground. You realize it’s because he wants to stroke your belly and you take a slight step back so that he can.

He smiles, happy. It reminds you of the look your people had when you’d arrived only a hundred times as possessive and joyful.

Again, your speech intrudes on your reunion and this time, you won’t let him distract you.

“Thor,” you coax, placing your hands over his where they rest on the sides of your stomach.

“Yes, my cherub?”

He’s excessive in the affection he puts in his voice but you know that he must be floating on cloud nine after what you both went through when you made him leave you at your house.

“I-I did something and I’m not sure if it was right of me to do it,” you watch his brow wrinkle and for a split second you almost lose yourself in the beauty of his face.

Has he always been this handsome?

“When I got back I kinda made a speech? Everyone was so happy to see me and to see me carrying our heir and I wanted to apologize to them for leaving and for making them worry. I wanted to share in their excitement for the baby and with that stupid tabloid having come out yesterday-”

“Right, the article,” there’s guilt in his voice despite there being no truth to the rumors it printed.

“I wanted to put their minds at ease and I...I did confirm that something happened with Jane but not what they were thinking.”

Thor’s expression hardens just a tad and he pulls backs towards a large armchair. He grabs your hand though and pulls you along with him until he can sit and then carefully attempts to offer you his lap, unsure if you’ll sit.

You do, because you’re tired and because you’re not eager to be away from him again. Now that you’re touching him, you’re not in a hurry to change that again.

“What did you say exactly?”

Swallowing hard, you lick your lips nervously, “Um...I told them the truth. Not exactly the truth, but enough of it that they’ll understand that Jane isn’t welcome here. I said that the only reason I left is for my health and the health of the baby, which is true. I didn’t want them to worry about us because even if we didn’t reconcile, I want us to be united for them at least.

“But I don’t trust Jane, Thor. Not after what she did. Not after how she treated me when you weren’t looking, and the people need to know that I will protect them from anyone, no matter who they are to you or me.”

Thor’s face grows pained as you speak, his arm wrapping around your waist as his other hand caresses the side of your stomach. You’re starting to realize that it’s going to be hard to get his hands off it, but that doesn’t seem like a terrible problem.

“I wish you had told me that she’d been rude to you,” Thor sighs, taking his hand off of his stomach to stroke your cheek. “If I had known-”

“She wasn’t rude to me Thor, she dismissed me. I wasn’t even worth acknowledging to her and now I know it’s because she was jealous and wanted you back because what? She saw what we had together and suddenly it was good enough for her?

“I was in her way. That’s all I was. Even if in the end she couldn’t go through with it whether it was because she felt guilty for doing this to us or for lying or for having second thoughts and knowing that she doesn’t want to be Queen or a mom, she’s a bad person to me. And I have every right to protect myself, my baby, and our marriage from her. She’s not welcome here Thor. I never want to see her again. Ever.”

He’s cradling you now, holding you close because the intensity with which you're telling him that Jane is not welcome in your home is transferring to him.

“And if you’d known, you wouldn’t have done anything, Thor. You’d probably have talked to her and asked her what was going on and she would have lied to you and you would have believed her.”

He doesn’t deny it. He does look like it hurts him to know that you know though. That’s enough for you.

“I think it took her lying and doing this to us to make you see what she’s capable of.”

Thor shuts his eye, resting his head against your chest as he wraps his arms around you again.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, Thor. But you weren’t the one who lied. I mean, you didn’t tell me what was happening, but you weren’t the reason that this happened. If Jane hadn’t lied-”

“But she did,” Thor says, his deep voice anguished. “And I failed to honor my vows. You are my Queen and I should have come to you the moment she told me she was pregnant.”

You both fall into silence as you reach over to stroke his bicep. His skin is so soft. Touching it gives you comfort in a way you weren’t aware you needed. The more you touch it the more you need to feel it.

A finger stroking his skin turns into two, then four, then your entire hand is running up under the sleeve of his t-shirt.

With the way his hand curls around your thigh, you know that both your bodies are responding to your touch. Both of you are heated but instead of giving into that because you aren’t ready for that yet, you lay your head on his shoulder and curl in closer to his chest.

Thor sighs heavily, wrapping you up in his arms as he cradles you close.

“Now we know better,” you whisper.

“Now I know what losing you will do to me,” Thor agrees. “I’ve missed you so much, cherub.”

You don’t respond. You’re too choked up to say anything without your voice cracking so both of you stay like that for a while.

The cocoon of Thor’s arms is toasty and from the exhaustion you’re feeling plus all of the emotions that have drained you, your eyes are heavy and difficult to keep open.

“What about you?”

Thor’s chest rumbles with a chuckle.

“We can talk more tomorrow, cherub. Sleep.”

“I’m not sleepy,” you lie.

“Very well, then. What about me?”

“You’re sleepy?” you look up at him, full of concern.

He chuckles again, “No, cherub. What were you asking?”

“Oh! I just wanted to know if you’re okay. What Jane did to you can’t have been easy. Despite what she did to us as a couple, she said she was pregnant. You’ve been wanting a baby for so long and she dangled that in front of you like the rat that she is. And then she wasn’t even pregnant?”

Thor’s arms constrict around you as he pulls you up towards him to kiss you.

It’s slow and full of emotion.

“Even after all of that, you’re still worried about me?”

“It took time,” you admit. “Once I wasn’t so angry and I thought about what Jane really did. I hate the idea that your heart broke over her lies. I can’t believe she ever loved you if she was willing to make you feel that way.”

Thor just stares at you, searching your eyes before he rubs his nose gently against your own. When he speaks, his voice is so low, so deep, an intimate whisper. It burrows into your chest and settles right there underneath your ribs and makes you breathless with missing him and desire.

“That’s why you’re my Queen, Y/N. And she is not.”

You’re not sure if it’s an Asgardian ability or if maybe it’s something specific to Thor, but he has a way of making you swoon.

“I missed you so much,” he confesses again, that whisper sinful. “Did you not miss me?”

You nod because you can’t speak. There’s a lump in your throat made of both sadness and want.

“Was your bed as frigid as mine was in your absence? Did you miss my breath on your neck as I did yours? Or the steady beat of your heart when you pressed your breast to my back as you held me while I slept?”

Fuck, he’s making this so impossible.

“I hate you so much,” you counter, but his lips stretch into a small knowing smile as you take a tight hold of the neck of his shirt and pull him up to meet your lips.

He exhales heavily into you, tasting you, relishing in every pulsating touch as both your hearts ache and yearn almost in disbelief as if both of you can’t believe that these wants, these needs are finally being met.

As he pulls back to tilt his head the other way, he takes hold of the sides of your face again, his lips grazing yours, “I love you.”

Before you can reply or yank him back into that torturous yet blissful kiss, a voice at the doorway clears their throat.

“Well, that was fast, what happened to keeping him at a distance?”

Loki’s voice pulls your gaze and you can feel your cheeks and neck burn at how easily it seems you’ve crumbled when finally face to face with Thor.

You frown at your brother-in-law, while Thor ignores his brother and leans up to press very non-chaste kisses to your neck, “I told you coming back was a bad idea.”

But Loki’s smile is blinding and with one chuckle he backs out of the room, shutting the door quietly as Thor turns you back to him so that he can get back to kissing you.

[koukouture]

A construct’s finale

When your beloved construct gets corrupted by the punishing virus, you aren’t quite sure who’s supposed to make it out alive

Note: God has allowed me to exist for another day and I am going to make it everyone's problem. Also I did one of these for Chrome here 

Characters: Kamui, Lee, and Watanabe (will do more eventually when I actually have ideas for them lol) 

Warnings: Gore, death, angst, have fun lmao

Tagging: @husbando-collector-sanctuary because I said I’d do this. Watch your babies suffer

Kamui

You should have known something was wrong when Kamui was too quiet while you two were scouting an empty building. He didn’t chat with you like he usually did, he only held your hand and looked around. 

It shouldn’t have taken this long for you to realize that Kamui has been corrupted. Because now he has you in a choke hold while tears stream down his face and his eyes flicker between red and his usual purple. 

“K-kamui” you choke, reaching for him. 

Your hand comes in contact with his cheek and he suddenly drops you. He stumbles back, screaming in pain, no doubt from the Punishing virus. 

“Don’t come any closer” he commands, moving further away from you. You don’t care or you tuned him out because you step closer. “I said don’t!” he yells before coughing. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask, inching closer. 

“I wanted to be with you, commandant. B-but I hurt you. I’m supposed to protect you but I-” 

“Hey, hey. It’ll be ok. I’m fine” you reach for him again, but he flinches and backs away. 

“Commandant, don’t- please don’t” he says quietly. 

You stop, clenching your fists while the blonde cries and fishes a small knife from inside his jacket. You don’t have time to react before he plunges is into his chest. 

“Kamui!” you shout, running towards him, he doesn’t back away this time as you try to stop him. He only takes a deep breath and jams it into his chest, screaming as he pries the metal open. 

“C-commandant, remember when on my birthday you said you’d grant me a wish, but I never ended up asking you for anything?” 

He coughed again before looking into your eyes “I want to ask you for one last thing, commandant” 

Kamui holds you hand, it would have been sweet but he gently puts the knife in your hand, closing your fist around it. His vitals fluids coat your hands, but you can’t bring yourself to do anything about it as you shake uncontrollably. 

“I’m sorry. But I’m not strong enough to do it by myself” 

“No!” you shout “I’m not doing this, Kamui. Please I’ll let you go, I won’t say anything about it, just don’t do this” 

He gives you a warm smile before he reaches up and strokes your face “It’s gonna be ok, commandant. You have Lee and the others, you won’t be alone” 

“There has to be another way” 

The construct levels your shaky hands with his core smiling at you “I don’t want to hurt anyone else, so please do this for me, commandant” 

“You won’t. I know you won’t Kamui” you sob “Please Kamui, I love you” 

Kamui seems shocked for a moment before smiling “I love you too, commandant” 

You’re shaking hard as he guides you hand closer to his pulsing core. 

“It’ll be ok” 

You close your eyes and take a shaky breath, and when you open them his core is dim. His eyes are closed and a smile rests on his lips. 

The knife clatters to the floor as you hold your face in your hands, crying your heart out until the rest of Gray Raven finds you... and Kamui’s lifeless frame. 

Watanabe

This was inevitable, the old construct thinks. He removed his inver device and left with only a weak filter on his frame. Watanabe should have known that sooner or later he would get corrupted. He would have accepted it if it were to come for that, he would have accepted it a year ago. But now you’re here, and now you’re watching him loose himself. 

“Stand back, commandant” he growls, clutching his chest. He doesn’t have a heart, he is no human, but he can feel the Punishing virus spread through his systems, racing to his core. It hurts, it feels like having lava replace his vital fluids. But he can’t give into it. Not when you’re here. 

You don’t listen. You never listen to him. Sometimes he finds it funny and even cute, most times it irritates him. This time, you’re putting your life in danger, so he can say he’s fairly pissed. 

You’re both standing in some old ruins, Watanabe’s already cleared it of corrupted and figured that maybe since you two were alone he’d tell you how he’s been feeling lately. Why he’s been avoided you for a while now. But alas, it turns out he’s been corrupted. 

“I said to stay back! Listen to me for once in your damn life” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, soldier” you say sharply, but he can hear your voice tremble ever so slightly as you step closer until you’re close enough for him to kill. 

Wait, kill?

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he can feel himself pull out his blades out one moment, and the next when he snaps out of his trance, he sees that you’ve collapsed. 

“No, no, no, no, no” he mutters, kneeling down “I told you, I fucking told you to stay away. Why can’t you listen?”

“Asshole” you choke “Because I fucking love you that’s why. I know why you’ve been avoiding me and I get it but, that was kind of a dick move” 

“Shut up” he says, wiping tears from his eyes as he tears up his coat and wraps it around your gut, cringing when he sees how much blood you’ve already lost. He puts the remains on your shoulders before standing up. 

“Watanabe?” 

“Watanabe to Forsaken, the commandant is injured, they’re in the ruins south of the base. Don’t bother looking for me, I won’t be there. That’s an order” he says into his comm piece before taking it out and crushing it. 

“No, you’re not leaving me” you yell “Watanabe you fucking ass, we can find a way, we-” 

He kneels down and captures your lips in his. It’s a custom the humans of the Forsaken told him about, kissing, a romantic gesture among humans. 

“I’m sorry, commandant. But there’s no room for us right now, not ever actually” 

You yell at him to come back, but he’s already gone. He takes one last look at the ruins and feels the buzzing on his lips before running further and further away. Never to return and never to know if you were safe.

Lee

How did it come to this? He was so careful, he made so many promises, he trained so hard. But here he was, mangled and missing his arm with the punishing virus slowly clouding his mind. While you leaned against the wall on the other side of the ruins full of dead corrupted. 

He winced when he felt the virus progress further in his system. Fuck, he’d have to do something about that. But first...

“Commandant, are you alright?” he asked, breathing heavily. 

You didn’t say anything but you seemed alright. A minor scratch on you cheek, but you’re fine. Not in any sort of danger. Perhaps you weren’t very mentally sound though, you had just witnessed Lee get his arms torn off and watched him destroy twenty or so corrupted. You were bound to be a bit shaken, but you’d be alright. 

“Lee...” 

“I have some bad news, commandant” he said slowly “I’ve been corrupted. And I fear I don’t have much time left” 

Oh what he would give to relive yesterday again. When he accidentally spilled his guts to you after you got hurt during a retrieval mission. You had only laughed and told him to take you to dinner if he were to say that to you. 

“We’ll fix it. We always do” you say, carefully making your way through the ruins and frames of dead corrupted. 

He doubles over when he feels compelled to take out his guns. When he feels like he wants to hurt you. He’d never hurt you. He couldn’t hurt commandant. Ever. 

“N-not this time” he says shakily. It’s progressing fast, he didn’t have a filter or any defences to protect against it. 

You’re just a few feet away, and he suddenly pulls his gun out. He wants to cry when he sees you freeze up with the most terrified expression on your face. And he does, small steady streams of tears make their way down his face as the gun shakes in his hand. He has to stop himself. He has to stop before he hurts you. 

Lee brings the gun to his head, his breaths laboured as he fights the punishing virus’ influence. 

“Lee, what are you doing?” 

He cracks a rare smile at you, well, one of the few smiles you actually catch. He’s fairly sure you didn’t notice all of the times he’s smiled around you. 

“I like you a lot commandant. Take that as you will” he says, before he hears the gun go off. Next thing he knows there’s nothing but ringing. He doesn’t get to see you scream and cry over his frame, your tears mixing with the blue vital fluid that flows out of his head. 

“I’d never leave you commandant. I promise” 

That’s the first and last promise he will ever break. 

[bubbleteaimagines]

You Can Rest Now

Levi Ackerman Oneshot

Summary: People often wonder why Levi’s so cold. For a man that’s lost everything, it’s not so hard to see

Pairings: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Warnings: Ansgt, gore, death

Authors Note: I got this idea suddenly and decided to break my heart

there was speculation. there was always speculation, but none more about levi ackerman.

the short man had a notorious reputation. he was cruel, nonchalant and just generally didn’t seem to care.

he was different. cold. so cold in fact, that death didn’t even seem to faze him. he could watch someone die and be fine the next minute.

but was he? it seemed so.

all the recruits admired his bravery and strength, but they feared his attitude.

what had made him so cold, exactly? so...closed up? who or what had turned his heart into stone, causing him to shut out the world around him so easily?

how did he do it?

why did he do it?

what had caused him to snap?

it was simple, really. levi had made a mistake. long ago, when he was foolish enough to still believe in love and happiness in this retched world. long ago before he realized that love made you weak, he make the mistake of loving someone in this cruel, cruel, world.

-

flashback —

“shit! y/n, they’re gaining on us!”

after three years in the survey corps, you could safely say that those words were anything but a good sign. scratch that, those words were the worst thing to hear out in the field. an omen of death, if you will, but you tried not to think about that as you furrowed your eyebrows and gripped your horse’s reigns tightly.

“how close?” you made the mistake of asking your comrade. a lump grew in your throat as you guys trekked across empty land. no trees, no buildings, absolutely nowhere to even think about using your 3dmg gear.

“i...,” he was at a loss of words. neither of you dared to look back, so he had to go off of the thumping footsteps that were getting closer and closer. “i reckon in the next minute or so they’ll be...”

“got it,” you pursed your lips together, not wanting him to finish that sentence. you knew what was coming. you both did. the very ground beneath you shook due to the titan’s footsteps. the monsters that you had been battling your whole damn life. “you ready to kick some ass, then?”

“always.” his voice was weak, his hands trembling as he reached for his swords. but his spirit had not yet been broken. neither had yours.

the footsteps were getting closer.

“i say we stay in rank but finish this thing off. then we’ll speed up and catch the others in case some more come,” you told him

anxiety pooled in your stomach as you thought about the rest of the soldiers. wrong place, wrong time, you knew that. but you couldn’t help it — your mind flashed images of him and you couldn’t help but feel scared for him, wondering if he had made it back to the wall safe or if he was still stuck on the ground, like you.

levi was a much better fighter than you. he was fast, efficient, and a valuable fighter. humanity needed him, and he had to be kept safe to fight another day.

that was the only reason you guys had been split up. he was on the special forces team, you weren’t. a damn good soldier you were but you were needed on the outer side of the formation, you were needed to protect levi.

after two years, he still hated the idea of you risking your life to protect him. he had fought tooth and nail with you and just about everybody else to keep you safe, to keep you next to him at all times. but commander erwin wouldn’t allow it. he couldn’t, levi was needed to save humanity. you weren’t.

you guys had had this argument time and time again. and time after time, you had reassured him that you would make it back. that he would always find your tired but yet still smiling face waiting for him on top of the walls.

why should this time be any different?

“let’s move!”

before you could even think, you had a ten meter titan lunging at you causing you to yelp and yank your horse out of the way. the beast whined in terror, it’s fear possibly rivaling your own. unfortunately though, that didn’t cause it to go any faster. you were gonna be forced to take it down yourself — you wouldn’t be able to outrun it all the way back to the wall.

“y/n!” your comrade yelled as you were swiped at again. this time though, you stood up on your horse and launched yourself at the titan, your gear lodging itself in it’s shoulders.

“keep moving! i’ll take care of this!” you yelled out to him.

letting out an angry cry, you whipped around the creature at astonishing speeds and aimed straight at the back of it’s neck.

a routine kill, that’s all this was.

fire danced behind your eyes while the creature moaned and swatted it’s hands at you. 36, that was your number of solo kills. and soon, it was 37.

“take that you fat bastard,” you yelled and sliced it right in the weak spot, never missing a beat as you carved up the flesh. blood splattered everywhere from the fatal wound and steamed as it got on your face and clothes. the titan went limp, and soon you propelled yourself back to the ground and back on your horse.

“well, looks like petra and me are tied. can’t wait to tell her,” you grinned as you carried on riding, your partner sighing in relief.

“you really are one of the best, you know that? you totally just saved our asses,” he grinned back at you.

“yeah, and you’d do well not to forget it,” you chuckled. “next time there’s cake, i want-”

“Y/N LOOK OUT!”

there was a scream, and then there was a sudden pressure as an abnormal came leaping out of nowhere and hit you dead on.

you didn’t have time to react. you barely even had time to scream before everything went to shit, your horse flying away from you and you — oh god. your comrade screamed as you flew through the air, and appeared again only as you were clutched in the titan’s mouth.

“w-what?” you couldn’t move. your vision was blurry from the hit but what you could feel was it’s breath. blindingly hot, and rancid. you had a first row seat as you hung from the monster’s jaws, everything from your waist and below clutched tightly in it’s teeth.

“y/n, no!” the strangled cry of your fellow comrade was all too familiar. it was a helpless cry, one you had heard many times from many different people. it was a cry of death, a cry of sorrow if you will. it was the type of sound people made when they were face to face with death.

“son of bitch,” you moaned as you lifted your head up, your (e/c) eyes meeting the bright blue ones of the titan. “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

of all the ways to die, of all the times and situations, this just had to be it. with your luck, you were gonna be split in half by the ugliest goddamn titan you had ever seen.

“fuck me.”

dread pooled in your stomach.

as you stared down your killer, as you stared down death itself, only one thought crossed your mind.

“c-comrade,” you glared as the titan opened it’s mouth to devour you. “g-get out of here! you don’t need to see this!”

“y/n no! i’m coming!” he desperately clung to his gear, standing on his horse and preparing to take down the monster that was gonna kill his teammate. he couldn’t let that happen. he wouldn’t.

but you weren’t gonna let him die either. not whilst you were still alive.

“comrade! i said go! i’m the leader of this team so that’s an order!” you screamed at the solider causing him to freeze in place.

“no,” he whispered, watching as the monster’s jaws came down.

it was as if it were in slow motion. the universe dragging it out just so he could witness every detail. the moment you screamed profanities at the titan, promising that you’d see it in hell one day. the moment you ripped off your cape, letting one last piece of you remain on this earth. the moment you screamed for levi, yelling one last time how much you loved him.

the moment the titan’s jaws finally came down, cutting you in half.

everything stood still after that. time stopped completely, and your comrade couldn’t even scream, couldn’t even cry out for you as your eyes finally fluttered closed and your body went limp.

you were gone.

-

levi paced anxiously as he stood on top of wall maria. he had his hands behind his back, but his eyes were on full alert, searching the terrain in front of him for any signs of life.

for any signs of you.

levi didn’t understand. it had been well past an hour, and everyone had made it back except for your squad.

it wasn’t even a squad, really. just two people — so how could two people possibly be taking this long?

“captain, you should calm down. i’m sure y/n is gonna be fine,” petra placed a gentle hand on his shoulder but it did nothing to sooth levi.

“if they were fine they’d be back by now,” he snapped, his eyes darkening.

he didn’t want to admit it but levi was starting to lose hope. being gone for this long usually only meant one thing — but he refused to think about that. he refused to even let the thought cross his mind, shoving it so far back it was practically non existent. levi couldn’t think like that. he wouldn’t.

because it was no question whether you were okay or not. you had to be, there were no other options. no other scenarios other than you coming back alive and safe.

“captain—”

“silence!”

levi strained his ears as he heard hooves in the distance. he perked up.

it was the sound of a horse, most definitely. in fact, it was the sound of two horses, and in the distance he could see them galloping towards the wall, a titan right behind them and the lone rider.

levi’s heart swelled with hope.

“y/n!”

he was breathless as he ran towards the edge of the wall, igorning his fellow soldiers protests. extracting his swords, he quickly cascaded down the wall towards the person, hoping beyond hope that it was you.

commander erwin held out a hand to stop anyone from following him.

“don’t,” he warned, seeing how levi’s squad was gearing up. “this one’s for him.”

levi had never felt more eager in his life to escape into titan territory. quickly, he flew towards the rider and practically tackled them as he reached them.

“y/n, you—”

levi stopped dead in his tracks. confused, he tilted his head as he saw the grief-stricken face of your partner, but not you. in fact, you were nowhere in sight as the titan’s footsteps got louder.

“soldier, you had someone with you, yes? where is y/n?” levi demanded, completely ignoring the haunted and agonized expression of the solider.

“c-captain...i...,” how did he get the words out? how did your comrade look his captain in the eyes and tell him that you were gone — lost to the titan on a simple mission.

“well? we don’t have all pissant. spit it out,” levi snapped, becoming irritated at the lack of response.

where were you? if you hadn’t come back with your partner, then where the hell where you?

the soilder’s mouth moved but levi barely heard anything he said.

perhaps it was because he wasn’t standing close enough. or perhaps the titan’s thunderous footsteps drowned it out. or perhaps...it was because levi heard something he didn’t want to hear.

“dead?” levi tilted his head as if it were a foreign word. as if he had never heard the word before, when in reality it was probably the most used word in his vocabulary. “what do you mean y/n is...dead?”

the pieces didn’t fit. the word ‘dead’ and ‘you’ were apart of two completely different puzzles; they didn’t fit together. it was too wrong, too confusing for levi’s brain to pick up.

“t-they’re gone, sir,” the solider spit out painfully, letting out a wail. “w-we were on flat ground...the titan came out of nowhere...the abnormal...”

“shut up,” levi held his hand up as the pieces began to mold themselves. slowly, they transformed to fit each other.

“i-i’m sorry sir,” the soldier stammered, “t-they’re gone. they left this behind...but their body—”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” levi growled as anger began to flow through him, his fists twitching. the solider flinched back as levi’s death glare settled on him, burning holes through his skull.

“where do you get off on this? HUH?” levi yelled as he grabbed the man roughly, yanking him off of is horse. the beast whined in fear as the titan approached, but levi ignored it. instead, he focused on the red spots in his vision, pushing away the pain. pushing away the imagery that followed the solider’s words. all that was left of you was a cape...

“i’ll have you executed for this you bastard! you lying piece of shit—”

“CAPTAIN LEVI!” levi’s attention was diverted as commander erwin yelled out his name. briefly, he turned his attention to the wall where his fellow comrades and commander stood, horrified, “YOU HAVE A SITUATION!”

levi tore his gaze away from erwin and glanced over his shoulder. fast approaching was the titan that had followed the solider to the wall. an abnormal by the looks of it, with blood splattered all over it’s mouth.

levi felt his heart stop.

in the moment, it suddenly became real. he glanced at the solider’s terrified face, the cape in his arms that had your initials printed on it, and then back at the titan.

everything hit him at once.

and levi snapped.

“YOU BASTARD!”

he retracted his blades, squared his shoulders, and then zoomed off to battle the titan that that had murdered you. the love of his life.

levi saw red as an animalistic scream left him, his entire vision clouded with crimson as he made his target and slashed. levi slashed until there was nothing more to slash, the titan long dead and already dissolving by the time he was done.

“YOU ASSHOLE! YOU TOOK THEM! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

“CAPTAIN! soldier, you need to restrain him and get back over the wall, NOW!” commander erwin shouted.

more titan’s were approaching. too many people were standing by the walls. too much prey.

but levi didn’t care. he was angry, hurt, and beyond the levels of revenge. his blades were stained with the blood of your murderer. he wouldn’t be able to rest if he didn’t end them all, right then and there.

“CAPTAIN LEVI! WE NEED TO GO!”

levi ignored the solider’s plea and stood his ground, hatred burning behind his eyes. he’d kill them, he’d kill every last one of them for what they did to you. his life be damned.

in that moment, it didn’t matter that humanity needed him.

he needed to avenge you.

“FALL BACK! DO NOT ENGAGE! I REPEAT, DO NOT ENGAGE! EVERYBODY STAND BACK!”

levi braced himself for the attack. he was running on pure hatred now.

he was dangerous when he was calm. but he was unstoppable when he was deadset on getting revenge for the one person he had left to care about.

“holy shit—”

“no way—”

“did he just?—”

all around levi was blood. crimson red soaked him to the bone, pouring over every inch of his body. it rained on him, like a sadistic waterfall carved out by levi’s sword.

but it wasn’t his.

none of it, not a single drop of the blood was his.

levi sheathed his now broken swords and leaned down to retrieve the only thing not soaked with titan blood. the only thing that wasn’t stained or reminded him of their treacherous, godforsaken existence.

“i did it,” he whispered, clutching your cape tightly. he held the fabric in his trembling hands, holding it over his heart as a way to hold you close— one last time.

“i killed that thing. you can rest now.”