#all's fair in love and war

[fractangle]

Pride month vest project, a patch a day #4: All's Fair in Love and War

[eddiestightywhities]

Eddie thought he understood fire, as much as a person who didn't have a degree in fire science could. Reckoned he'd been in enough of them, been surrounded by enough blazes enough times over the last almost seven years, which was more than enough in his book to be pretty intimately acquainted with their nature and effects.  

The various classes. The differing ways they move. The way smoke chokes and tastes and smells, how it gets into the fabric of your clothes and up your nostrils, the way it clings to absolutely everything, lingering like a bad tattoo. The devastation fire brings; what it does to a building; to living things.

You learn all that fairly quickly, being a firefighter, tucking the technical stuff under your belt in training and discovering the other stuff as you go, the realities coming thick and fast on the job and getting under your skin—and your nerve, if you let it. Getting to know fire just becomes a part of you. Indelible. 

Turns out Eddie didn't actually know shit about fire, though.

Least not till he was making his way back from the bar through the sea of drunk patrons—wallet between his teeth and hands kept busy with three sweating IPAs—and looked up to see Buck's new boyfriend leaning in to kiss Buck. 

Eddie was going in blind, didn’t have the correct equipment or expertise or backup to contain the molotov explosion that went off deep inside of his crêpe paper gut as his wide-eyes watched Brent's big hand cup the back of Buck's neck to pull Buck right into him, the flames licking at Eddie and rising higher, higher within in him at the sight of Buck recognising what was about to happen; burning hot, hotter, hottest, when Buck smiled like danger and angled his face to slot it into place next to his boyfriend's so that he could shamelessly fuck a glistening, so-pink tongue right into Brent's waiting, open mouth.

The five-alarm fire of pure desire was like nothing else Eddie had ever felt.

And when a sudden and searing burst of jealousy stoked the flames like a gurgling fountain of gasoline, it was the first time he had ever really thought about the term 'fighting fire with fire'.

Oh, he thought. Okay. Alright then. Okay.

Then he inexplicably found himself silently howling he's mine, like a battle cry, as he made his way back to the table with a fire born from the very pits of hell burning hot and bright in his belly. 

For the first he in his life, Eddie let the flames burn.

[hyperfixated-unicorn]

Just some kids dealing with some sheep 🐑

(1) using the power of friendship

(2) using violence to assert dominance

[yakool-foolio]

I'm sure y'all know how I've preached to the choir about Yomi dying his hair from blue to red as a conscious choice to oppose Yakou cause they're the bitter exes of all time, but I've got another card up my sleeve. Ya see, there's another part of his character design that's blue. The bottom of his shoes! Ya wouldn't really think it to be important, cause no one really pays attention to shoes these days (*stares blankly at the camera*), but I disagree! His shoes are pretty eye-catching in his splash art, purposefully aimed to show off the neon blue soles.

Boy, I sure hope this very specific design choice doesn't get emphasized at a very specific point in the ga-

Oh.

But yeah, if ya think about it, the only part of his design staying blue being the bottom of his shoes adds more layers of hate onto their dynamic. In this exact moment, Yakou is literally below Yomi. Nothing but a bug to be crushed beneath the peacekeeper director's weight. Dirt to be scraped across the pavement and washed away in the endless rain. Pure, unfiltered hatred.

Yomi probably subconsciously scrapes his feet across the ground like an angered bull when standing still sometimes. It's a habit. A reminder to himself that he is the protector of Kanai Ward. Since Yakou refused to climb to the heights of Amaterasu and stayed in the grimy depths of the crime-ridden city, Yomi aptly treats him like the garbage he finds his home in.

Anyway, go vote for the bitter exes in the shipping poll! I've offered to record a full cover of No Children by The Mountain Goats if they are victorious!

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 3/5

Book Blurb: In the first installment of a Regency romp of a series, a governess who believes in cultivating joy in her charges clashes with the children’s uncle who hired her, only to find herself falling in love.

When Harry Kincaid’s flighty older sister decides to join her husband on an Egyptian expedition, Harry, a former naval captain, is left in the lurch, minding her three unruly children and giant, mad dog. But Harry has a busy career at the Admiralty that requires all his attention, and he has no clue how to manage the little rascals or when his sister is coming back. In desperation, he goes to Miss Prentice’s School for Young Ladies prepared to pay whatever it takes to hire an emergency governess quick sharp to ensure everything in his formerly ordered house is run shipshape again.

Thanks to her miserable, strict upbringing, fledgling governess Georgie Rowe does not subscribe to the ethos that children should be seen and not heard. She believes childhood should be everything hers wasn’t—filled with laughter, adventure, and discovery. Thankfully, the three Pendleton children she has been tasked with looking after are already delightfully bohemian and instantly embrace her unconventional educational approach. Their staid, stickler-for-the-rules uncle, however, is another matter entirely.

Georgie and Harry continue to butt heads over their differences, but with time it seems that in this case, their attraction is undeniable—and all is indeed fair in love and war.

Review:

A governess finds herself in over her head on her first job assigned to teaching three rowdy children and possibly falling for their strict captain uncle. Georgie Rowe is a fledgling governess, she's the only one of her friends who hasn't managed to get a job despite graduating from a reputable school. She wants to finally get the chance to teach kids so when a job lands in her lap, she can't refuse. Harry Kincaid is a former naval captain who's heart and career were ruined when his fiancee cheated on him 2 years ago. Now he is determined to get back his naval career and pursue a career at the Admiralty. He doesn't have time for anything other than his career and to his shock, when he comes home he finds his sister has left her three children for him to look after while she goes on an adventure with her husband... without telling him. Harry needs help desperately and needs someone to take care of the rowdy children. What he never expected when he hired a governess was to fall for the siren. He vowed never to fall in love again, he just wanted to pursue his career, yet the more time he spends with Georgie the less he can resist her siren call. Everything about her bewitches him, yet with his career on the line, will he finally go after what his heart wants or will he be too afraid to finally chase the one person who could break his heart all over again? This was a fairly cute overall read, it's grumpy x sunshine, employer x employee, rich x poor, sailor x siren, vibes and it was an overall easy and fast read for me. Did I wish there was more in depth exploration of the romance between Georgie and Harry? Yes. Did I want there to be more groveling from Harry after the third act breakup? Yes. I found Georgie charming with the kids and I kind of wish Harry had more depth to him. The book and story overall are a cute read and great for anyone looking for a easy read!

*Thanks Netgalley and St. Martin's Press | St. Martin's Griffin for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[agentravensong]

did i almost singlehandedly turn that poll around at the last minute by reblogging it to my utdr sideblog, from which at least one popular fan-artist and chara fan then reblogged it? perhaps.

[harbingrs]

You'll hear her in your dreams Hey, you wanna get out of here? Don't you wanna dance? When you came to life, boy On distant train I had no reason, reason to stay Here in this world I never found someone

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

Would you actually try to get with a girl that you knew had a boyfriend?

lol yeah

[mangaacoverss]

✦ 📓 FULL (1- 6)

[skykashi]

@gertrude-hatake YES!! 😂

Remember back when this parody video was trending, specifically this last scene of it?

Well, I drew this 2 years ago as a response to it but then I never posted it.

I just found the idea of Sasuke and Hinata having a secret war behind Naruto's back over him so funny 😅

[a-hopeless-romantic18]

Pick and choose

The battle is over but the war is just beginning.

[the-starprince]

To be honest I only made this because I remembered this quote existed and could see Starla saying it.

[a-whore-for-the-void]

someone tell me why Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives is both Desert Duo and Shiny Duo in Wild Life?????

[okiedokrie]

All Is Fair In Love And War Pt.1

Summary: Joshua is nothing if not determined. If he wants something, he'll get it; not that he even had to try before. But sometimes, like Icarus, he flies a little too close to the sun. But hey, all is fair in love and war!

Characters/Pairing: Aphrodite Incarnation!Joshua x Fem!Detective!Very Mortal!Reader

Genre: smut, fluff, crack, angst if you really squint

AUs/Trope Info: Greek God!AU, Partners In Solving Crimes, Strangers to Lovers, "time isnt linear" trope, "holy shit im kind of obsessed with you" trope

Word Count: 3,194 (Full fic is around 10k)

Warnings: Depiction of a crime scene (gore, blood, gun, conspiracy), depiction of drug use, character death (major and minor), smut warnings in the next part

Rating: 18+

A/N: I decided to split this into parts since I'm not confident ill be able to finish this within the deadline, this is part of the The 13 Gods of Olympus: A Seventeen collab hosted by @beomcoups and @wooahaeproductions! This is just the first part, so if you enjoy it, please consider signing up for the taglist. Thank you!!

In the summer of 2000, Joshua Hong was almost five years old. People always commented on how pretty he was for a kid, that he’d surely grow up to be a very handsome man.

Which is why it was a tragedy when he died from a freak truck accident.

Yes, Joshua Hong died at the age of five. For like, 10 minutes.

The doctors called it a miracle - a small child should not have survived a whole six of the twelve truck wheels, but somehow he was resuscitated, much to his parents’ delight.

This incident caused two things to change dramatically - Californetherlands now has stricter trucking laws and Joshua woke up to memories of literally being Aphrodite.

Throughout the years, from that fateful summer day to the present day, Joshua flopped back and forth between believing that the memories were just fever dreams and genuinely considering that he may be a reincarnation of the goddess. But ever since he got to hone his powers, he’s been more inclined to believe the latter.

By the age of 28, he has mastered the art of seduction. No, not sleeping with people constantly. It was more so the art of getting people to say ‘yes’ to everything he asked of them.

This made Joshua a very powerful and influential figure in Los Amsterdam; You see, the way he dealt wasn’t by out-witting people or being richer than them. He dealt in favors. If you wanted to be a popstar, he’d introduce you to a famous producer, and get you a record deal that would solidify your career - all for the low, low price of free.

In turn, you’d owe him, like the many powerful people who owed him large favors.

Joshua found himself in downtown LA, in the club that he owned, just under his penthouse. He enjoyed playing the guitar and performing for his patrons, everyone seemingly captivated by his voice, or his beauty, whichever one caught their attention first. He finally strummed the last chord of his song, enjoying the applause of the crowd as the DJ started to play the usual club music. Just as he was about to retreat to the bar, a feminine voice stopped him.

“Joshua! Hey!” She said, hair bouncing over her new fur coat, jumping excitedly, calling him over.

Joshua smiled widely at her - she was one of the people he had helped start her career as a singer. He didn’t do much other than introduce her to the CEO of her current label, it was her natural talent that got her this far.

“Ah, Diana, good to see you!” He said, going over to meet her in a friendly hug, the kind that didn’t touch at all. “How has being a singer treated you? Any good news?” He said, making small talk with an old acquaintance.

“Oh please,” she started, her new haughty attitude showing, “It’s all over the news! I just got nominated for a Grammy!” She said in a sing-song tone. Joshua just nodded Truth be told, he didn’t really have much interest in pop music, but he did try to match her enthusiasm.

“That’s great! I knew you’d make it big.” he said, remembering the first time she came to him, a girl in clothes that almost looked like rags, now decked out in every designer brand you could think of. “So, what brings you back here then? Surely you already have everything you ever wanted?” He said lightheartedly. Even if all of Joshua’s connections owed him favors, it was quite uncommon for them to come back to him after having achieved their dreams.

“Well,” She said, her old, meek bashfulness coming to the surface. “I just wanted to see you again, to thank you for what you have done for me.” She tucked a hair behind her ear. “And I know no matter what favor I do for you in return, I could never break even for just how much you’ve impacted my life. So, thank you, Joshua.”

Joshua genuinely felt relieved to hear her say that - usually, people’s pride and greed got in the way of them acknowledging those who truly helped them along the way, but as he suspected, this girl still had a soul so pure. “Let's get some drinks by the bar and chat some more, yeah? My treat.” He offered, which she gladly took, the conversation between them flowed naturally, Joshua enjoying her tales of success.

It was an hour after the club closed that Diana decided it was time to head home. Joshua offered to see her off, like the gentleman he was, and so they walked to the sidewalk, her hand around his arm.

Joshua opened the taxi door for her, offering her a few bills in cash to cover the fare, “It was nice seeing you again, hopefully, you’ll make time to catch up with me in the future.” he said through the taxi window.

“Yeah, I hope I get the chance to see you again soon. Goodnight Joshua.” She said as she rolled up the taxi window.

Joshua watched the taxi drive until the end of the block, and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Then, another car intercepted her in the intersection.

It happened so quickly, too quickly for Joshua to even register the new car’s window sliding down, holding a gun out to the taxi Diana was in. Gunshots echoed through the street, the sound of tires popping and glass shattering but all Joshua could make out was the sound of two sets of four tires screeching against the concrete. Diana’s taxi collided with a nearby lamppost, the taxi flattening and curling around it.

That was the last time Joshua saw her alive.

It was all over the news “Beloved Grammy-nominated rising star, Undyne, passed at a downtown intersection in a successful assassination.” Headlines went crazy with her story, telling her life before her short-lived success as a pop star.

The police were on her case, and the street cameras identified a black car with a non-existent plate number. they couldn’t find the people who owned it, but they did have enough evidence to call it a homicide.

Joshua, being close to the scene at the time when it happened, was one of the key witnesses to the whole case.

Currently, Joshua is in the waiting area of the police station, waiting for the detective on the case to lead him to the interrogation room where he will give his statements. He was just mindlessly scrolling through his phone when a voice snapped him out of it.

“Mr. Hong? Correct?” One of the officers asked him. He nodded to confirm it, repeating his full name. The officer just nodded too, “Okay, please follow me. Detective L/n will be there to ask a few questions.” He turned to the direction of the interrogation room, Joshua trailing behind him quietly.

The officer stopped in front of a door, “Here we are, just head on in.” He said, nodding at him. He walked into the interrogation room, the chilly air making goosebumps rise on the surface of his skin, the thin cardigan he wore did nothing to shield him from the cold. He took a seat at the chair facing the door, poking at the cold metal table as he waited.

“Good Morning Mr. Hong, I’m Detective L/n. I’m here to ask you a few questions, everything said here will be transcribed as evidence for this case, do you consent to this?” You started, taking the seat in front of him, your tone was very professional, as he expected, you didn’t even bother with pleasantries other than introducing yourself, which didn’t bother Joshua. He confirms his consent verbally, politely smiling at you with his hands clasped over the table.

“Great, I’d like to ask a few questions about you first.” You said, taking out your folder for the case, “You’re Joshua Hong, born on the 30th of December, 1995. You own the club downtown where your place of residence is also. Is all of that correct?” Joshua confirms all of the information is correct.

“You can just call me Joshua, by the way, Mr. Hong makes it seem like I’m someone important.” He said bashfully, scratching the back of his neck.

You just nod, writing something down in your notebook, “What was your relationship with Diana Kamatayan?” You asked, reviewing the official file which states that she is one of Joshua’s ‘clients’.

You were well aware of how the king of Los Amsterdam does his business, favors for favors. That’s how he got this far, and if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, he’ll take away everything he gave you. You knew asking for Joshua’s help would make this investigation go quicker, but that would mean you’d owe him.

Owing Joshua Hong anything is a dangerous position to be in.

So while you have him in this interrogation room, you’re going to try to milk every bit of information out of him while it’s free.

“Well,” he started, getting comfortable in his seat, “She was one of my clients, I’m sure your file on me already knew that. Other than a professional relationship, I don’t really have one with her. That night was the first time I’ve seen her in a little over a year, actually.”

You nod, the timeline matches up, “And why did you meet her that night?” You ask next, trying to get more out of the nature of this last meeting.

“She approached me while I was in my nightclub. I was just about to turn in for the night when she came up to me to catch up. She thanked me for introducing her to a producer and wanted to catch up.”

Joshua really wasn't giving any information for free, as the interrogation went on you could only collect information you already knew. He didn't reveal any more than a simple google search did.

You drop your file folder onto the table, where Joshua's posture remained calm, cool, collected across from you, the small, charming smile still on his face.

“Did you get what you needed, Detective?” Joshua asks politely, tilting his head with his query.

“All I got was everything we already knew.” You sighed, rolling your shoulders in your seat. You turn in your seat, facing Joshua head-on once more. “Joshua, you are one of the most powerful and influential men in Los Amsterdam. We need your help in solving this case. All our leads have gone cold. We need your connections.”

Joshua smirked, the only time his expression changed from the relaxed and polite smile he had for the rest of the interview. His posture relaxed, leaning forward over the table, he placed his palms down on the cool metal surface, and said, “You do know what that would mean, right? The price you’d have to pay?”

You nodded, “I know all too well.”

“Asking me for a favor would mean that you’d owe me, do you think you can afford to pay that price?” He raised his eyebrows, you’d think your eyes deceive you when his irises glowed a soft gold—tilting his head in an almost teasing manner, taunting you.

Your breath hitched as you looked back at the one-way glass, knowing your co-workers were watching every detail of this interaction. “I promise I’ll deliver what I owe you. Just- please help us.” You said, not being able to look at him directly in the eyes.

He straightens his back once more, his polite smile returning to his face. “It’s settled then, I look forward to working with you Miss.”

Driving through the streets of a somewhat more affluent neighborhood, you stop in front of a well-known party den. There are plenty in Los Amsterdam, but this one was popular because of their ‘free-love’ policy.

Essentially, if you want to fuck, every surface is available to borrow for the duration.

You don’t look forward to entering the den, especially since you don’t know which surfaces are good to touch, but your partner beside you seems to be relaxed and content to visit such a place.

“God, I haven’t seen Jackson in forever. I hope he’s still having the time of his life here.” Joshua said with his bright eye-smile. You turn back to him, eyebrows furrowing in disgust. How could he find a place like this enjoyable? You don’t understand how the minds of party-goers work.

“Okay, how exactly is visiting a party den supposed to help with our investigation?” You finally ask him, he refused to elaborate on how relevant this location was when you met up with hiim, or during the entire car ride to said location.

“Well, Jackson still owes me, and he’s Diane’s ex’s first producer. If there’s anyone with a motive to get her killed, it’s her ex. I asked him to get Johnny drunk enough to pass out in one place. Now you have the perfect stage to corner and investigate him!” He said, with a smile on his face as if his plan didn’t just open up a whole new can of worms for you.

“You do know it’s illegal for me to just interrogate him without a warrant right? He might lawyer up if he figures out we’re onto him.” You said running a hand through your hair.

“Which is why I got you this,” he pulls out a skimpy party dress and matching heels from his duffle bag, “We blend in with the party-goers, that way you’re not interrogating him, you’re just having a conversation.”

“Joshua Hong you are insane.” You said, tone raising, “I’m not walking into a sex den looking like a hooker!”

“Don’t worry, we’re just trying not to stand out, please, just trust me.” He said handing the outfit over to you. You think over his words, it would be wise not to draw too much attention to yourself. If you made it obvious that you were a cop you’d have to resort to improvising.

You were never good at improvising.

Joshua gave you the decency to turn away while you changed, he was already in his usual relaxed suit that already made him look like a pimp, so he was already dressed for the occasion.

You both step out of the car, your heels clacking on the pavement below you. How Joshua managed to find your shoe size is in itself impressive, but you don’t have the time to dwell on that.

You both enter the bustling house filled to the brim with people indulging in their vices, whether it was alcohol, drugs, the ‘free-love’. It was a mess of bodies and fluids that you’d rather not inspect closely.

Joshua expertly weaved through the crowd, parting it like Moses did to the red sea. He didn’t have any difficulty locating Jackson Wang, the host of these parties.

“Jackson!” Joshua called out, the man was sitting in one of the many loveseats, a can of beer in hand and two ladies under his arms, giggling and getting very comfortable with him.

Jackson squints over the flashing lights, eyes widening in recognition after seeing Joshua. “Joshua! My man! Glad you finally made it! Got to say though, that favor of yours was an odd one. But you’ll be able to find him in my room. You know the way.” He waves him off, resuming to talking to the women clinging onto him.

You follow after Joshua, quickly climbing a few sets of stairs to get to the third floor, the entirety of the third floor was just Jackson’s room. He made sure to lock the door behind the both of you when you guys arrived.

The floor was far quieter than the floors below you, and less of a mess than them too. This room felt like Jackson’s actual home, and not like a party den.

Joshua spots Johnny stumbling around the room, nursing a liquor bottle- a few of them.

“Joshua we can’t interrogate him when he’s like this, he can barely even stand!” You said, waving your arms in front of you to point at the inebriated man.

“That’s not a problem, watch this.” Joshua takes long and purposeful strides toward him, once he finally reaches him, he takes his face in his hands and stares directly into his eyes.

You watch in awe and slight confusion, until Joshua speaks up, “You want to tell us everything we want to know, and you will be sober as a priest while you do so.”

Suddenly the haziness in Johnny’s eyes faded in an instant, his brown eyes now have a golden ring around the irises, like a puppet on a string.

“What did you need to know?” Johnny says, no longer under the influence of alcohol.

“Joshua, what did you do to him?” You ask in slight horror.

“Nothing illegal, don’t worry about it.” He said, “Continue your questioning on him, detective, if we spend any more time here Jackson’s gonna think we’re having sex here.”

Not wasting any more time you ask Johnny, “Are you aware that Diane Kamatayan had been assassinated? Do you know any information about that?” Johnny squints before his eyes widen in recognition, “Diane, yeah, her, we dated a bit. I was obsessed with her. But she broke it off when she got big. Yeah, I’m pissed, but instead of doing anything healthy with my time I just chose to shit-talk her on Twitter and drown in alcohol. When I heard the news about her passing, I lost it, went straight here where Jackson just kept handing me bottle after bottle with no questions.”

You look at Joshua, raising an eyebrow, not much of a motive if he didn’t even contact her directly in the entire duration of their time as exes.

You shake your head, back to square one then.

“It didn’t help that she started dating the old geezer of a producer of hers.” Johnny said, eyebrows furrowing in frustration, “That whore, she probably got big because that sleaze of a producer gave her banger after banger for sucking his dick or something, tch.” he said, clicking his tongue and crossing his arms.

“I’m pretty sure it was him who killed her too.”

You and Joshua look at each other in shock, eyes meeting for a second, almost as if communicating telepathically.

“Why do you think that?” You ask, cautious around the increasingly irritated Johnny.

“He’s always been a greedy bastard, worked with him before. Wanted to claim all the royalties of my song, so I sued him. Pretty sure he got threatened by how rich Diane was getting for that hit.” Johnny spat, distaste seeping into every word he said, “Now Diane is dead, and the bastard is getting married to some Slavic model, most likely cashing in all those royalty cheques.”

You and Joshua nod at each other. Joshua snaps his fingers, it’s almost as if snipping a puppet off its strings, the glow around Johhny’s eyes dims and disappears, suddenly slumping over the seat, stumbling drunkenly like he did when you found him.

“Okay, we have a lead.”

[inquisitor-apologist]

Thinking about how, at the end of the day, at the fatal moment, the sunset of the Republic, it wasn’t Yoda, or Obi-Wan, or even the Chosen One himself standing in the way of Palpatine. It was Mace Windu.

Mace Windu, the inventor of Vaapad and Master of Form VII, the Jedi's strongest duelist, the only person to ever defeat Palpatine in combat. Mace Windu, Master of the Jedi Council and the youngest Master ever appointed to it, the revered leader of the Order. Mace Windu, who forgave even those who tried to kill him, who risked his life over and over again for his troops, who, after 3 years of desperate war, tried to negotiate with battle droids. Mace Windu, who knew the clones were created by the Sith and chose to trust them, who saw every Shatterpoint in the Republic, and loved it still, and fought for it until his last breath, until he was betrayed by Anakin, who he believed in and trusted despite everything.

Mace Windu, High General and hero of the Republic, the embodiment of the Light, the last and greatest champion of the Order, the best Jedi to ever live.

[theedgeofhappiness]

Good for her 👏

my thoughts on tonight's episode:

greg's intros get weider every time. alex managed to crack greg up during their banter & lucy is still unhinged.

i get the impression that now they're just messing with greg during the price task. and i'm here for it.

the sues are still adorable. and now i want a whole show with them & whoever suggested that the secret task was hidden under greg's portrait is a fucking genius!

why are they whispering? and god it's infuriating that they're not helping. oh nevermind. julian's absolutely golden "one of your better efforts." just yes.

and sue wanted to win the hat in the first place.

fucking hell alex "let's do it daddy"? i mean i never ever again want to hear that they're surprised by folks writing fanfiction about them.

everyone here knows alex is a sneaky bastard. of course there were double-headed coins mottled all around. god lucy's a disaster i love her.

julian consoling lucy is just so sweet!

sue's jacket! i'm so glad that made it into the episode - her explanation as well.

i think julian did the sleep walking task quite convincing though. susan was good too and lucy. well she did a lucy didn't she.

what sam‽ why?  that sneaky bitch. bribing the judge. we don't stand bribery here! i really hope flossy got her £100