#all you can do is wait
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okay hold on this is kinda-
on one hand, past me was embarrassing. I was confused and lonely. I was so conversation and friend starved that it felt like I was pushing people away from me because I was too excited.
but on the other, I know that I was going through a rough period. I was finally getting diagnosed with depression and got the help I needed. I was gaining confidence in my self and started knowing my worth was not based on how “well” I did.
I found interests that have completely changed my life for the better. I was getting friendlier and I could communicate without feeling like an outcast.
Do I still feel lonely? Yes
Do I still feel like an outcast with no worth? It happens
But am I improving? In small baby steps.
I may never fully recover from this. But I am so proud of my past self for pushing through even when nothing was worth it.
I have made fond memories, great art, great friends and found media I truly love and can’t stop talking about.
I could never be more proud of myself.
I want to go back in time and promise my younger self that the future is brighter. Not completely. Nothing can be good forever. But I want to go back in time and give her a hug. She pushed through pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. And she was brave for it.
GOD I’mTEARING UPPPPP
this ended up being more 12-16 but eh- still kinda in the “cringe era”
everyone is embarrassed of their fourteen year old self trust me if you’re fourteen right now you will regret whatever it is that you are doing at this moment
#dude have i ever told you about metro 2033#vent#anyways take it from me#you’re going through some struggles that will eventually be worth it in the end#who knows#maybe you’ll find the best book out there in a few months#maybe you’ll be introduced to a new show you’ll fall in love with#maybe you’ll discover a new hobby#all you can do is wait#it will eventually come#also don’t actually listen to me#even if i have had suicidal thoughts i’m not good at motivation#so if you see this and don’t feel better#maybe even feel worse?#i’m sorry
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Girl dad Silco is a source of endless entertainment for me
Extra doodles:
Someone save Sevika, she is in hell
#my art#sketchy sketch#arcane#sevika#jinx#arcane powder#silco#silco and jinx#Silco will never actually be able to discipline in jinx#the best he can do is raise his voice#and even that has no effect#sorry silco you are a doomed girl dad#now I've doodled all my silco and jinx ideas I got a while back no wait#still one#well I'll finish it at some point#sevika needs help guys she is all alone with these two
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Personally I think that Telemachus permanently and irreversibly changed Athena for the better, more on that at twelve
#I’m sorry for the WORST possible quality pictures and sketches#but they’re fr all I can think about#wisdom saga is where I live now#epic athena#epic telemachus#epic the wisdom saga#epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#sorry to do meta in the tags bug#I think the idea that telemachus’s friendship might have turned Athena into the person she got upset with Odysseus for being#would be delicious#also if you see any inconsistencies in character design or clothes no you didn’t#can’t wait to be able to digital again holy fuck
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just how long is forever? // not long enough, with you
pssst. check this out on inprnt :]
#pssst also. you should click/zoom on this. for better quality and to see all my silly little details :] hooty hoo#this is my totkversary thing im just too impatient to wait till the 12th LOL. big shoutout to this game tht has ruined my life. and zelink.#zelink#light dragon#link#zelda#loz#totk#princess zelda#totk spoilers#link totk#zelda totk#tears of the kingdom#loz fanart#i had soooo much fun drawing this i really did. i think this is a good capstone piece for how much ive improved so far this year#i still have a long ways to go ofc but. i am pleased ^_^ nd i am glad i can use zink like experiments to do so hehe#anyway. YURI FOREVERRRRR BITCH#my art
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Yearning from the nothing dimension [rambling in tags ^^]
#i really couldn't make a version with a bunch of eyes that i was happy with on the bottom part#and then i realized thats fine and not everthing is going to look cool and awsome all the time. kinda emphasizes the space though.#anywho do you ever think about how lonely it must be in the tree or dark side of the moon. like all you can do is watch and wait#imagine falling in love with someone you can only see glimpses of#someone who you just found your mind wandering closer and closer to untill you realize just how happy they make you and how they make#the vast emptiness of a prison feel because your so far from someone whom doesn't even know you exist#Anyway!! had some thoughts about sm I'll probably draw more laterrrrr bc I just cant draw today ^“^#cookie run kingdom x reader#shadow milk x reader#shadow milk cookie x reader#i hope my rambling made sence to someone. im not very good at articulating myself
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I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?
I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#don't mind me just killing time waiting for maintenance to end so i can stick my face directly into 7-12#i mean i'm on the record (read: constantly posting) about how much i love the whole tragique backstory behind mal's birth#and. look. hold on it's a day ending in y time to be embarrassing about anime characters online again#no but really i love him. i love how he's such a vague figure but also the way his and silver's stories contrast#i cannot articulate it very well but just#i love how he's essentially like...bad end silver#he let himself go along with the big evil plan because he wanted to save his dad and not betray his king and all that#and when he finally did take a stand it was too late to stop the worst of it#meanwhile silver was immediately like NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THIS#silver is NOT going to end up slaying the dragon thank you very much#me kicking my stupid little legs in glee over it all#and! the retrospect when you realize! that he was the one leading silver around lilia's memories!!!!#he is so happy that silver and lilia have each other!#he's so happy for them!#i want to put him in a can and hold him in my pocket for 16 years#also: his ridiculous hair. it's so silly and so good.#may vil never meet him#the knowledge that there's someone with naturally gorgeous hair who has somehow done it even dirtier than silver would destroy him
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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Out of sight, out of - wait.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#granny wen#a-yuan#It's always fascinating how colours translate from the page to the screen.#It would probably surprise a lot of people to see what some of these comics actually look like in physical form.#My lighter colours takes about 3-4 washes before it shows up on scan which means it tends to ripple the page.#And my yellows and oranges are drastically different colours when scanned compared to the ink colour.#There's about 20 or so comics where everyone's hair is purple - because it scanned in the exact same colour as my light grey.#Wait my book is right here in front of me so I can...yeah...Comics 57-77 were indeed purple.#This is all to say - is it not fascinating how what we see is often not the full truth of what the subject truly is?#Is it not fascinating to open another episode that reminds us that despite everyone's claims they could totally spot the evil YLLZ-#-The man walks around among them for months as no more than a man haggling for deals like the rest.#It's almost as if he's just a person. It's almost as if none of us - no matter what we do are really anything more than just a person.#Your good acts will be overtaken by how other's interpret you in negative light.#Just as easily are people willing to forgive crueler actions if they hold you in high esteem.#But what's real? Is the page I hold the real version of this comic? Is it the one you look at?#Is the man known as Wuxian the most himself when he is alone or on the battlefield?#Perhaps he is and has always been a scared orphan boy lost in the market.#I think there is no good answer to any of these questions.#But I do know that panic rising in WWX as he frantically looks for A-yuan was for more than one boy.#To be human is to have layers around a delicate center. We only really grow around our wounds from childhood.#In other words; Donkey from Shrek would also probably call Wei Wuxian an onion. I'll see myself out now.
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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lighter is a loser. idc i said what i said. behind all the cool nicknames and stylish glasses is someone who looks at you with so much love in his eyes.
it’s unfair that he is a fire attribute because he always ends up lighting a little bit of his clothes or hair on fire when he gets flustered by you. something about seeing you smile, excitedly laughing to him about your day, has him pushing his sunglasses up a little more and staring off to the side. the rest of the sons of calydon can CLEARLY see right through him though. they knew the ominous undefeated champion had a soft spot but seeing him loosen his red scarf and clear his throat was when they knew he was head over heels for you.
he doesn’t have the best memory but even he’d remember small details about you. what drink you’d prefer, which sunglasses he wore had you blushing like crazy. his love for you is quiet on the outside but deep down, it’s a blazing fire that cannot be contained.
#luminotes ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter zzz#zenless zone zero#zzz#lighter lorenz#lighter zenless zone zero#lighter x you#lighter x reader#lighter x gn reader#can yall um…. tell i have a type#I KNEW I LOVED LIGHTER BEFORE HE WAS DRIP MARKETED#AUGHSGSKHD I WANTED HIM AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A WHILE BEFORE HE WAS RELEASED#BUT NO THEY RELEASE HIM SO QUICK ???#sorry lycaon and seth….. lighter was always in my heart before it all#and like his leaks ??? IM SOLD !! i was already saving my guaranteed for him hehe#his story quest art thing augh….. need him so badly#ALSO HES A BIT LIKE WRIO#I WILL LOVE YOU IN EVERY UNIVERSE WRIOTHESLEY#i love lighter I CANT WAIT FOR HIMMMMM#also sorry if this is some mischaracterization#we literally have nothing about him so ermmm this is the best i can do#sorry yall love u saurrr muchh <33
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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I just realized I can cross over my favorite characters and literally no one can stop me. This is way too much power.
(these captures are from gll99's GX fansub! you can find it free on their blog @/kaiowut99)
Part 2
#yugioh gx#ygo gx#judai yuki#yuki judai#jaden yuki#spiritshipping#ygo#yugioh#yugioh fanart#kh#kingdom hearts#sora#soriku#kh fanart#my art#this isn't even half of the heartbreaking lines I have screenshotted#this is my pitch watch yugioh gx#yes its about card games. its also about committing genocide (not exaggerating)#because the guy you love and also all of your friends died (their last words were how much they hate you)#followed by a season-long depression arc as you cope with the guilt of your sins#and growing up and learning to have fun again and also alchemy#and don't forget the card games#wait their clothing colors are literally inversions#this is what im saying if you love sora you'll love judai theyre the same dude#and if you love soriku... judai/johan is about as inarguably canon#I mean how much more canon can you get than “do you love him that much?”#and if you're coming from the ygo side go play kingdom hearts it's super gay and that's half the reason we're here right#thats a lot of tags... oh well
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Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?
(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#fem payneland#although technically as everyone is the opposite gender their last names should be different#OKAY you know the drill u get fanart and i get to ramble about it#Edith wears pants now#this pains me because i love drawing skirts but after she escaped hell#she met charlotte who made an offhand comment about how it's easier to move with pants#and edith who just spent 70 years running in hell went wait a tick#she feels safer that way is what i'm saying#interesting because as you can see she wore a skirt to confess and we know how THAT went but anyway#charlotte's mom was abusive of course#and she forced her to practice ballet despite charlotte being interested in a lot of other sports#she did fairly well at ballet but this means no cricket bat :(#i know we all love butch fem charles but as he's mostly gender conforming i decided to not do that#no reason for the bracelets but as i wanted to give her a choker i thought they would combine with the earrings#crystal is still crystal because his parents are weird artists who like stupid names#niko though... i don't know what to name him#dead girl detectives
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Qin Che ⸺ Sylus Reveal ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
#love and deepspace#恋与深空#love and deep space#秦彻#sylus#qin che#dailygaming#dailyvideogames#gamingedit#3d animation#video games#*4#otome#otome game#paper games#chinese game#had to do a 3:4 gif to see the face!!!! y'all im actually going insane after waking up this morning to this#is his evol blood??? what is the red trail at the beginning???!? give us the main plotline please!!! no more banners my purse is dry#pretty upsetting about the leak but im glad they released it officially not sure how much longer we have to wait now 😭#enemies to lovers trope???? helllo??? you can look evil all you want but youre still gonna be playing kitty cards in a panda onesie
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I neeedddd more Foxes on TikTok content! Them doing their own versions of trending videos and challenges like the "dress up as something that starts with your first initial challeneg"
Allison, looking ethereal dressed like a literal Greek God, glammed to the heavens: I'm Allison, I'm dressed as Aphrodite and it's the onw year anniversary of my boyfriends death so I better be the drunkest tonight.
Renee, wearing a real leather F1 jacket/jumpsuit that Allison for some reason has in her closet with a blow up steering wheel in her hand: I'm Renee, I'm a race car driver and I think Nicky might be the drunkest.
Andrew, dressed exactly the same as normal but has a stethoscope around his neck and a piece of paper saying "Aaron" duct taped to his chest just stares into the camera for 30 seconds until it's obvious Allison will not be leaving without an answer: when Kevin starts puking I'm leaving.
Once everyone has given their answer the video enda with a pic of Nicky and Kevin passed out in a bathtub together.
Or the Trauma Dump Candy salad video which goes off the rails immediately and PSU makes them take down 3 hours after posting
"Hiiiiiii, I'm Nicky and I'm a gay teenage father of two and I brought Nerd Cluster Gummies"
"I'm Aaron and instead of going to rehab my evil doppelganger locked me in a bathroom w a blanket and a weeks worth of canned food and I brought Reeces"
"I'm Allison and my parents didn't even yell at my brother when he got expelled from boarding school for having coke in his room but I got kicked out of the house when I showed up to my deb ball with a black eye and a busted lip after playing (and winning) an exy game. They didn't even ask if I was OK. And I brought cherry flavoured Twizzlers"
"I'm Neil ans whenever I burn something while cooking I have a panic attack cause I start to think about burning my mother dead body in a ditch on the beach and I brought ... Andrew what are these called? Oh, I brought sour patch kids"
"I'm Kevin, I grew up in a cult and I brought raisins" except he's body tackled by a blonde blur before he gets a chance to dump the raisins into the bowl.
Them posting stupid shit to popular sounds:
Aaron, sat on the couch, study notes laid out around him, energy drink cans littering the place: I want to sit back and enjoy my my evening when all of a sudden ...
Camera flashes across the room to Neil just minding his own business: ... I hear this aggravating, grating voice
***
The "My Shalya" sound over clips of Neil absolutely violating people.
***
Zoom up of Kevin in full Queen Day sttess mode on the sidelines of practice with the sound "yes I'm a drama queen, but it's not by choice" playing over it and when it gets the "it's genetic" part the video zooms out to show Wymaxk next to him with the exact hand on hip, stressed look on his face
***
Renee doing the "actually I do cuss a little" sound while she's getting her gear on to spar with Andrew and when it reaches the "probably fuck" portion of the audio the clip switches to her taking Andrew downnnn. And then there's a beat drop just cause.
***
Another edit of Neil but with the "am I the drama? I don't think I'm drama" sound.
***
Upperclassmen scrolling through news articles or flipping through sports news channels rhag are reporting on them while miming along to "is this fucking play about us"
***
Some teammates, probably upperclasmen, definitely Nicky also miming along to "I'm sorry, not everybody fits in the bad bitch genre, it's a genre, not everybody fits on the he roster" while dressed in full exy uniform, with the caption "when you're coach only recruits the most traumatised bitches"
And forcing teammates to do "day in the life" "what i eat in a day as a member of the most fucked up exy team" and "ootd" videos.
Andrew (bribed with alcohol, ice cream and ten dollars) does a What I Eat in a Day as depressed mother of 3 whose forced to play stickball. There's no sound, its just the picture carousel style w block letters next to pics of his food:
Breakfast is a massive mug of hot chocolate with half a can of squirty cream and marshmallows.
Breakfast 2 is a big bowl of whatever sugary flavour cereal that's overflowing w E Numbers and almost illegal food dye you guys have in the US.
Snack 1 is a chocolate bar.
Lunch is a slice of pizza, fries and then there's a hand forcing salad onto his plate. Andrew adds a note to this pic saying "I'm allergic to green, Kevin's trying to kill me"
Snack 2 is a an energy drink and a cigarette
Dinner is a pint of ice cream
Midnight snack is just a pic of Neil which Andrew thinks is an obvious coming out without coming out vibe but everyone is immediately worried about Neil's safety and there endals up being a Reddit thread about Andrew being a cannibal.
Then they post a follow up video of Kevin reacting to this and he just watches on in despair saying "no. no. Andrew you have a nutritionist!"
#i got carried away#im waiting in my hostel to go to the airport for a 13h flight so forgivw me#this was fun#also yeah i have a hc that allison has a brother that can do no wrong#the foxes stage a protest when tiktok is banned in usa#rip you guyz#not gonna miss you guys hating on baked beans and jacket potatoes but ya know#i could keep going but wifh this but ill show restraint#aftg#tfc#aftg socmed au#aftg social media au#neil josten#andrew minyard#all for the game#andreil#the foxhole court#my headcanons#allison reynolds#nicky hemmick#kevin day#aaron minyard#renee walker
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