#all while dealing with a not so good physical shape and also uh anxiety | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jungshookz · 4 years ago

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cream a little dream of me; knj

➺ pairing; kim namjoon x reader

➺ genre; lveb!universe, you’ve been asking for this and i’m finally here to tell you that this is smut! nsfw! 18+! oral sex (receiving)! dirty talk! namjoon has a dirty mouth and y/n is into that!! y/n’s a great listener and namjoon is very into that!! also frosting is involved somewhere

➺ wordcount: 8.9k

➺ summary; y/n has a wet dream about namjoon and yoongi just wants to help his best friend get laid.

➺ what to expect; “it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?”

➺ optional reading: here’s the link to la vie en bonsai if you haven’t read it yet or if you just want to experience the story all over again!

»»————-　☁️　————-««

to say the least, yoongi is… confused.

in the three years that he’s been friends with you, he likes to think that he’s seen every single one of your emotions

but this?

this is different somehow… yet he can’t quite put his finger on what’s so different about it...

he’s seen elated y/n

he’s seen devastated y/n

he’s seen infuriated y/n

he’s seen stressed out y/n

but this y/n?

the starry-eyed and constantly looking like you’re day dreaming y/n?

he can safely say he’s never seen this version of you before and it’s a little concerning because now he has no idea what the protocol is

even back when you guys were in university you practically never daydreamed during lectures

you were always focused on the professor and whatever powerpoint was playing on the screen with a concerning amount of intensity

one time, yoongi put his hand over your eyes just to be funny and you nearly snapped his wrist off

“okay, seriously?” yoongi waves his hand in front of your face for the fifth time in half an hour before shaking his head gently, “what’s gotten into you?”

you blink quickly when you snap out of your little daze, looking at him and setting the bowl of batter down on the counter before checking out the damage you’ve done

you’re supposed to fold this batter

not whIP it

now it’s ruined and you’re going to have to start all over!

“i don’t know what that batter ever did to you, but you might need to take it down a notch before you sprain your wrist…” yoongi trails off, leaning over a little and wondering if he can get away with dipping his finger in for a teeny tiny taste

sure, he might get salmonella or whatever from ingesting raw eggs, but it’ll be worth it

“also, what are you even making?” he frowns, gesturing to all the items splayed on the counter, “because there are like ten different things going on here-”

you look around the kitchen before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

you... don’t really have an answer for him

there’s bread dough over here

three bowls of frosting (chocolate, cream cheese, buttercream) over there

some chopped up peaches on the cutting board

the puff pastry is de-frosting in the fridge

there’s a pie baking in the oven at the moment

you just finished greasing up a mini cupcake tin

and don’t forget about the bowl of batter you’re currently whipping the life out of

(let the record show that you have no idea what you’re making. you have no clue what this batter is for. and why’d you take out your set of food-colouring dye??)

you just needed to let off some steam and this is the only way you know hoW

“isn’t this great? working out in the comfort of my own personal gym…”

both you and yoongi look over towards the kitchen door when you hear jin’s voice ring through namjoon’s laptop from the living room

yoongi perks up in interest when you suddenly scurry over to spy at namjoon through the crack of the door before he gets up to follow you

“yeah, easy for you to say-” namjoon grunts as he pushes himself up off the ground so he can clap his hands together quickly before his palms land back on the ground in a solid thump

he thought push-ups were already awful as is so he wasn’t very pleased when jin told him to start doing them with claps in between each set

also, jin has access to a full-blown gym in his house, but namjoon doesn’t have any access to actual weights so he’s had to resort to using jugs of water instead

it’s actually working out pretty well!

he took the sweeper part of the broom off and then used a lot of duct tape (and patience) to tape the jugs to both sides of the pole

he felt like he was mulan from that one part of the movie except mulan is probably physically stronger than him

“you know, i’m surprised he hasn’t smashed his face against the floor yet...” yoongi snorts as he continues to peer at namjoon over your shoulder

he waits a couple seconds for you to respond but frowns when you let out a short little sigh while keeping your eyes glued on your sweaty boyfriend

...

see?!

you’re doing it again!!!!

you have your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your eyes have gone all lidded and hazy

your grip around the edge of the door is really tight and your knuckles are going kind of white

good god

yoongi narrows his eyes suspiciously before jabbing your shoulder roughly, “hey. what are you thinking about?”

you shake your head a little too quickly for his liking before turning back around and brushing past him to get back to the counter

huh

okay

something’s up for sure

he doesn’t know if it’s good or bad or whatever but he’s going to find out

your cheeks and the tips of your ears are a little flushed now which is even more interesting

what could possibly be going on in that little noggin of yours?

“tell me what you were thinking about.” yoongi sits back down on the stool as he stares you down across the counter, “y/n- look at me.”

“i’m not-” you glance up at yoongi for a quick second before looking back down, “nothing!” you mutter, your arm starting to move faster as you continue whipping the mystery batter

yoongi immediately points to the ball of dough sitting a couple feet away from him, “tell me what you were thinking about or i’ll eat that ball of raw dough right noW-”

“-!” you set the bowl down before scrambling to move the dough out of yoongi’s reach

he’s eaten raw dough before (it was raw cookie dough and he took bites of it every time you turned to face away from him) which resulted in him suffering for like 48 hours and you’re not taking any chances

“you can’t keep secrets from me.” yoongi deadpans, “aren’t we best friends? don’t you trust me?” he bats his lashes at you before pushing his bottom lip out in a pout, “because i certainly trust you… and you, out of all people, should know how hard it is for me to trust someone…”

your eye twitches

you know he’s only saying all of this to butter you up so that you’ll inevitably give in and tell him what’s going on... and you hate that it’s actually working...

look at that face!

those cheeks!!!

those eyes!!!!

“i…” you trail off, biting the inside of your cheek as you contemplate whether it’s a good idea or not to tell yoongi what exactly’s been going on with you lately

if you tell him, he’ll stop bugging you about it

then again, if you tell him, he might keep bugging you about it

but he’s already suspicious of you so it seems like you don’t really have a choice...

this is really a lose-lose situation, if you think about it

...damn.

“hey, do you remember that time you were crying really hard and i made you feel better by telling you that i kind of sort of loved you...?” yoongi mentions casually while inspecting his nail beds, his eyes flickering up towards your face for a quick second to see your reaction

he bites back a smirk of success when he hears you let out a sigh

ha HA

hook, line, and sinker bABY

“okay, fine, but-” you slam the bowl down on the counter before placing your hands on your hips, ”it’s a secret. between us!” you gesture for him to come over to you

“god, finally-!” yoongi nods enthusiastically and hops off the stool before scurrying over to join you at the other side of the counter

you lift your hand up so the side of your mouth is covered and yoongi reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist, grinning excitedly as you whisper something into his ear

…

yoongi’s jaw drops

holy shit

no wonder he hasn’t seen you act like this before!

this isn’t elated y/n or disappointed y/n or excited y/n

a new player has entered the ring

this is HORNY Y/N

“you… little… horndog!” yoongi cackles with glee as he claps his hands together wildly, “you, y/n y/l/n- you had a wet dream?!”

you feel your anxiety spike at how loud yoongi’s being and you make a gesture to try to get him to use his inside voice but he doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to you at all right now

“wow...” yoongi laughs lightly, crossing his arms as he looks up towards the ceiling, “i mean, welcome to puberty, i guess. a bit of a late start if you ask me, but either way i’m actually pretty proud of you for basically creaming your-”

“shh!” you quickly shove a spoon into yoongi’s mouth and he spits it out immediately

it falls onto the counter with a clang

to be honest, you actually don’t remember too much of the dream

flashes of namjoon’s head in between your legs and his strong arms wrapped around your thighs pinning you down pop into your mind every now and again to taunt you

but other than that

nothing!

it’s just that joon’s been working out a lot lately (jin’s trying to get in better shape because of one photo where the shadow made it look like he had a double chin and it traumatised him) so it makes sense that he’s turning into an actual beefcake now

the other day you accidentally busted a bag of icing in your hands after squeezing it too hard because you were watching namjoon doing bicep curls with the milk jugs

his arms just….,,.

you want to bite into them

or dig your nails into them

or just look at them!

you would be perfectly content with just staring at them 24/7!

now, the issue here is that you...

you don’t really know…

you don’t know how to initiate things with namjoon

it’s awkward!

…on your end, that is

since getting together, you and namjoon have had plenty of heated make-out (and slight groping) sessions but you always end up chickening out as soon as you feel things starting to escalate

you just get nervous that you’re going to do something wrong and it’ll pop the love-bubble you guys are in right now!!

and you really don’t want to pop anything!!

and namjoon, being the sweet, kind, caring, considerate, wonderful, absolutely flawless boy he is, never has an issue with it because his number one priority is making sure that you’re comfortable

he’s totally okay with moving at your pace!

but after the last couple of times where you’ve left him high and dry, you notice that he either a) puts a pillow over his lap almost immediately and tries to change the subject or b) waddles off to the bathroom for a ‘pee break’

you feel awful knowing that you’re blue-balling him but you don’t want to take things further if there’s even a slight possibility of you ruining things

so... yeah!

your only stress reliever has been baking which isn’t new

you’ve stress baked before but this is a nEW type of stress baking

this is the most chaotic level of stress baking there is because everything’s just a disorganised MESS

“you know what, it actually makes sense now,” yoongi reaches up to stroke his chin in thought before nodding to himself, “you’ve been acting so weird lately that i thought i did something wrong- and it turns out you’ve just been excruciatingly horny this entire time-”

“lower your voice!” you hiss, hurrying over to the door to make sure namjoon’s not listening in to what should be a private conversation if yoongi wasn’t so damn loud

he may be in the living room but who knows how far your voices can travel??

you peek out to look at poor namjoon who looks like he’s just about ready to pass ouT from exhaustion

he lets out an almost animalistic growl as he pushes himself up off the ground one last time and you feel a tingle in your southern region

if you were a cartoon character there would be gigantic hearts pumping out of your eyes, your tongue would roll out of your mouth like a red carpet, and a horn would be blasting aooga in the background

“okay, well - you can’t not tell me about what happened in it.” you turn back around to face yoongi, “give me all the details!!!!” he wiggles his brows as he leans down and folds him arms atop the counter, “and get real nasty with it because i haven’t had sex in months-”

“no way!” you scoff before crossing one arm over the other to make an ‘x’ sign at yoongi, “no! i don’t remember anything.”

“you’re lying to me.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops and he scowls at you, “you totally are!”

“am not! it’s true.” you chirp, nodding satisfactorily when yoongi doesn’t respond

good

the topic has been dropped and now you can focus your attention back on this weird, runny batter you’re still beating the life out of

“...what about if i guess?”

you pause

oh no

you don’t like that idea at all

you don’t get a chance to shake your head nO before yoongi starts listing out all your possible wet-dream scenarios

“he was finger-fucking you.”

“you were sucking him off?”

“he was eating you out!”

“69? you on top? or was it him on top? …no, it was probably you on to-”

“a classy combination of tongue and fingers? ooh, quick question- how quickly did dreamjoon find your g-spo-”

“missionary! can’t go wrong with good ol’ fashioned missio-”

“doggystyle? cowgirl! reverse cowgirl? or was he kind of, like, spooning you from behi-”

“ooh! plot twist! you gave him the strap-”

“butt-stuff! butt-stuff?? butt-stuff but the plug had a tail on- oh-ho, it was butt-stuff, wasn’t it-”

“something with a belt? something with cuffs? something with leather?”

“roleplaying! he was a sexy gardener with a big ol’ hose and you were just an innocent wittle twree-”

“was he rawdogging you?”

your eyes immediately widen and you look up at yoongi for the first time since he started rambling, “wha- WHAT is that?!”

rawdogging??

that sounds like it’d give you carpet burn for some reason

“sex without a condom.” yoongi states as if it’s the most obvious fact in the entire world, “duh.”

god

boys are so

boyish!!!!

“why not just say that instead??” you ask incredulously, tilting your head

yoongi snorts, “well, because rawdogging sounds way hotter-”

your face screws up immediately, “does it really, though…?”

yoongi pauses before his face lights up, “aha! so dreamjoon WAS rawdogging y-”

“crude!” your entire face is bright red at this point and you hurry over to the fridge to grab a bag of frozen blueberries out of the freezer (for what purposes? you have no idea.)

“you think i’m being crude?” yoongi scoffs, “i think you’re being a prude. okay, lemme see what else i can think of-”

“yoongi, literally no one asked you to list-”

“were you grinding on his-” yoongi pauses again, “you know, like dry humping?” he hums before pushing himself up off the counter and placing both his palms flat on the surface of it, “i mean, i guess i can see why that’d be hot, you know, with clothes being restrictive and all- oh! were you getting off on his thigh? because a couple of girls have done that to me before and it was actually pretty hot AND since namjoon’s dna consists of 80% plant he basically has tree trunk thighs-”

“okay, i don’t remember too much-” you grab yoongi by the arm to yank him back in so you can whisper in his ear again

yoongi listens attentively

…

you clear your throat before shoving yoongi away to make it seem less suspicious if namjoon just so happens to come into the kitchen at this very moment

“surprisingly simple, but it does the trick, that’s for sure…” yoongi hums as he strokes his chin thoughtfully, “damn. i hyped it up way too much. that’s actually a pretty boring dream compared to what i’ve dreamt about, now that i think about it-”

you can’t help but roll your eyes as you open up the bag of blueberries

…what did you pull these out for again?

“well, what’s the problem?” yoongi frowns, “you guys are already dating. just go up to him and ask him if he wants to do stuff. if a girl told me that she creamed her panties because of me, i’d be ecstatic!”

“stop saying it like that-”

you feel a little weird talking about this with yoongi

he’s always been comfortable telling you about his sex life but you prefer to keep your intimate details private

it’s not that you don’t trust him or anything, because obviously you do, but… you’d feel more comfortable if you talked about this with a girl-friend, you know?

guys just don’t understand!

“i don’t know how to…” you shift in your spot, “ask.”

yoongi scoffs in response and crosses his arms, “y/n- namjoon is a man. men are simple. do you remember the other week when you invited me over for a breakfast and you dropped the spatula on the floor?”

you nod before tilting your head curiously, “…why?”

yoongi clears his throat

now he’S the one who looks slightly uncomfortable

“well...” he clears his throat, “namjoon was wearing sweats and i swear i wasn’t purposely looking- my eyes just happened to be looking downwards in that general direction naturally-”

“yoongi-”

“the man’s dick twitched in his sweats when you bent over, alright?” yoongi blurts out and your eyes immediately widen, “my point is: men are simple- painfully simple creatures. so... just ask him!”

you frown

just ask him??

was he even listening to you??

you just told yoongi you didn’t know how to ask namjoon and his advice was for you to ask namjoon

that’s like taking someone who doesn’t know how to swim and immediately tossing them into the OCEAN with a punctured life-ring

“god,” you roll your eyes before flicking your wrist at him, “just forget i told you!”

“hey!” yoongi gawks and shakes his head, “i can’t forget! now my only purpose in life is to get you some head-”

“jesus christ-!”

you jump ten feet into the air like a cat that’s just been sprayed by water when the kitchen door suddenly swings open and a sweaty namjoon stumbles in

“i think there’s sweat dripping into my contacts-”

“namjoon!” yoongi spins around in his stool and props his elbows up on the counter, “what a coincidence! we were just talking about you, my man…”

yoongi looks over at you with a cheeky grin and you shake your head stiffly before turning to get the jug of water from the fridge for namjoon

“oh yeah?” namjoon huffs as he places his hands on your hips from behind, sliding past you to grab a clean glass from the dish rack, “what about?”

“just about how…” yoongi looks back at you quickly and you shoot him a glare

he wouldn’t…

would he??

(he absolutely would.)

any word of your conversation and you’ll skin him alive

“-hard you’ve been working out lately!” yoongi chirps, “i mean, it looks like you were trapped in a washing machine-”

“oh, god. trust me, it’s so not worth it, i’m in so much pain-” namjoon winces and shakes his head, “you’re welcome to go and take my place if you want-”

“absolutely not-” yoongi snorts, “first of all, it’s the holidays, and everyone knows you don’t work out during december. also, you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to do a push-up. i’m perfectly happy with my somewhat doughy centre.” he pats his tummy with a happy hum and you can’t help but giggle

silly boy

namjoon laughs lightly before pausing to chug down some water, “i wish i could say the same. unfortunately, jin’s not giving me a choice-”

“sweaty!” you whine when namjoon suddenly wraps an arm around you from behind before kissing your cheek and he frowns playfully when you swat at his forearm, “and sticky…”

“relax, i’m about to hit the shower-” he nudges his nose against your cheek before pulling away, “and then i won’t be sticky and i’ll smell like peaches-”

“i should probably go, too.” yoongi gets up from his seat, “i just ordered my dinner and it’s going to arrive at my apartment in like half an hour.”

“wait!” you hold a finger out before turning to open up the cupboards for a tupperware box, “take some pie with you…”

»»————-　☁️　————-««

“still coming friday?” you ask as you watch yoongi put his shoes on

you asked yoongi if he would be interested in helping you decorate the apartment on friday (aka you told him he didn’t have a choice and that he had to come and help you whether he wanted to or not)

“mhm.” he glances up at you, “still ordering pizza?”

“mhm.”

you reach down to pat the top of yoongi’s head gently just because you want to and pauses in the middle of tying his laces to reach over and jab your stomach

“i know the main focus is decorating the place for christmas but i think you guys are going to love the nature documentary i picked for us to watch while-” namjoon chimes in but shuts up quickly when you and yoongi exchange knowing glances, “what?”

yoongi looks back up at you with a raised brow, “…does he really have to join us?”

“no choice.” you shrug casually and namjoon’s jaw drops

wha-

“oh, hold on-” yoongi gets up off the ground before patting his pockets down with a frown, “i think i left my keys in the kitchen… can you go and get them for me?”

you nod before turning to hurry to the kitchen

you don’t want him to get another parking ticket

it’s only after you disappear into the kitchen that yoongi swiftly pulls his keys out of his back pocket with a jingle

namjoon opens his mouth to say something but yoongi quickly holds his hand out to shut him up

“야 남준아- 어제 니 여친이 니 꿈 꿨데~ (y/n had a sex dream about you).” he chirps and gives namjoon two firm pats on his surprisingly firm chest before his eyes widen in surprise, “어우 딴딴해 운동 열심히 했나보네! (woah, you really have been working out! good man.)”

“yeah, i-” namjoon chokes, “wait, wha-”

“y/n, i found my keys! my bad!” yoongi calls out and gives you a thumbs up when you come out of the kitchen, “see you losers on friday!”

he gives namjoon a grin and a light punch to the arm before swiftly turning on his heel

namjoon’s eyes are as wide as saucers as yoongi shuts the front door behind him and he blinks rapidly before turning to look at you

you tilt your head at him curiously and namjoon swallows before offering you a sheepish smile

oh, boy.

»»————-　☁️　————-««

namjoon hasn’t been able to think straight since it was revealed to him that you had a sex dream about him.

it’s been an entire week that he’s learned this new piece of information and it’s been weighing verY heavily on his mind!!

when he wakes up his first thought is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about

when seokjin’s rambling about god knows what the only thing in his mind is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about

the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about

and then his imagination conjures up what could’ve happened in your sex dream which is very dangerous because he has an overly-active imagination

it sucks that he doesn’t even know the details of the dream because stinky yoongi ziPPed off before he got a chance to squeeze the truth out of him!!!

and he hasn’t mustered up the courage to ask you about it because… how is he even supposed to ask you about it in a casual, non-confrontational way?!

he doesn’t want to embarrass you or anything like that!!

the only reason why he’s only slightly nervous about the whole situation because he doesn’t think he… oozes sex appeal?

so it was more than surprising to find out that you had a naughty dream about him

he’s like 90% leg and 10% dimple for crying out loud

and it’s not like he hasn’t done anything before, because he has, but it’s just different because it’s… you.

you’re his girlfriend and if he flubs this up the first time around then it’d be even more embarrassing than if you were just some random girl!

“말해줘여어 (you have to tell me).” namjoon whips around from where he’s standing by the tree, cradling the box of baubles to his chest, “you have to!”

“싫어 (nah).” yoongi shakes his head, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth only for it to bounce off his cheek and onto the couch

he purses his lips before kicking it under the coffee table

it’s fine

the dust bunnies will get rid of it

“말해줘여어! (you have to tell me!)”

“야 안돼 (no way).”

namjoon clenches his jaw and sets the box down onto the floor promptly before balling his hands into fists and setting them on his hips, puffing his chest out

...

“아 왜여어어어~ (why not??)” he whines, deflating and resisting the urge to stamp his foot and throw an actual tantrum

“아니 비밀이라고 했으니까 그렇지! (it’s not my thing to tell! and i can’t betray y/n like that-)” yoongi shrugs as he keeps his eyes glued on the screen, “by the way, you didn’t even choose a cool nature documentary. what are we even watching?? the guy’s been talking about seaweed for the past ten minutes-”

“what do you mean it’s not your thing to tell??” namjoon scoffs, not even paying attention to the fact that yoongi just insulted his favourite nature documentary about plants in the ocean, “형이 먼저 말 꺼냈��아! (you were the one who told me that she dreamt about me in the first place-!)” he snaps

“잠깐만 (wait, wait-)” yoongi sits up quickly, a couple kernels of popcorn rolling off his chest and falling onto his lap, “일주일이 지났는데 아무것도 안 했단 말이야?? (are you telling me that you… it’s been a whole week and you haven’t done anything about it??)”

namjoon shrinks down before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “노 코멘트 (…no comment.)”

“킄 정말로? (really? wow.)” yoongi snorts before shaking his head and leaning back against the couch, “both of you- i mean, both of you deserve each other, seriously-”

namjoon resists the urge to flop down on the couch dramatically, “아니 뭐라고 말하는 거예요 (well, i’m sorry, what am i even supposed to say-)”

“아우 그러지좀마 걍- (you don’t have to say anything, all you have to do is-)”

“yoongi!” namjoon and yoongi look over when you stick your head out around the kitchen door, “cream cheese or vanilla?”

“vanilla, duh.” yoongi raises a brow

you should know by this point that he prefers vanilla frosting over cream cheese!

halfway through the documentary you decided that you were going to make a carrot cake

(and yes, part of the reason why you made that decision was because you were bored of the documentary and wanted to do literally anything else, but you’ll never admit that to namjoon in case it breaks his heart)

namjoon stays quiet until after you disappear into the kitchen again and then he turns to face yoongi with both of his hands clasped together, “말해줘요오! (you have to tell me, c’mon!)”

“말해주면 제발 다른 거 보면 안 될까? (if i tell you, can we watch something else?)”

namjoon scowls

“아 됐어요 도와줄 거라도 있는지 확인 해볼게요- (fine, forget it. i’m gonna go see if y/n needs any help.)” he steps over the boxes of decorations on the ground before turning to look back at yoongi, “부엌에서 필요한 거 있어요? (you need anything?)”

“아니 (nah.)” yoongi responds before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, “oh! actually, see if y/n would be willing to make little carrot cupcakes instead of a whole carrot cake. holding a tiny little cupcake in my hand makes me feel like a giant.”

»»————-　☁️　————-««

“knock, knock…” namjoon knocks on the kitchen door quietly before pushing it open, “everything going okay in here?”

he smiles when you look up from the bowl and beam at him, “hi!”

“hi-” he comes in and shuts the door behind him, “you need any help?”

“help? from you?” you giggle lightly and shake your head, “i’m good.”

ever since he accidentally poured salt into your batter that one time he hasn’t been allowed to help you

:-//

“yoongi changed his mind, by the way.” namjoon gestures back to the direction of the living room, “king min would like cupcakes now.”

your shoulders immediately droop and you gesture to the already greased cake-pans sitting on the side

what a waste!

“hey, don’t shoot the messenger!” namjoon raises both his hands in defence before shrugging, “the man wants what he wants.”

you resist the urge to go out there just to throw the cake pans at yoongi

you’re definitely going to force him to wash everything for you later

“also... you’re just doing this to get out of watching the nature doc, aren’t you?” namjoon wraps both his arms around you from behind and leans down to prop his chin up on your shoulder

you could’ve helped with the decorating, but somehow everything looks better when namjoon does it

he hung a big red bow on your front door and it looks great!

you pause in the middle of shredding carrots before letting out a nervous chuckle, “whaaat? no...”

“it’s about the types of plants in the ocean!” namjoon points out, “is that not cool?? plants are cool.”

you shake your head no almost immediately

not cool

two and a half hours of someone talking about grass that lives in salty water?

not cool at aLL

“how’s the decorating going?” you ask, giggling lightly when namjoon nudges his nose under your jaw before planting a kiss against your neck

“it’s going fine… yoongi isn’t helping, obviously. i handed him one bauble to hang and he hooked it on the collar of his hoodie and told me he’d do it later.”

“mm.”

a brief moment passes where the only sound that can be heard is the carrot you’re shredding against the grater

namjoon purses his lips as he thinks about what yoongi just said to him

...

fuck it

“hey, can i ask you something?” namjoon sighs, smiling in delight when you suddenly turn your head to press a sweet little kiss into his cheek

“mhm!” you turn back, continuing to grate away

“it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?” namjoon asks cockily, biting back a grin when he feels you freeze in his arms

it’s at this moment that the fact that you had a wet dream about him has finally sunk into the depths of his brain and now he’s actually feeling... really good about it

you had a sex dream about him

what’s not to love?

he can almost hear the alarms wailing in your head

and now that he’s got the ball rolling- he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be!

as a matter of fact... this could be fun.

“w-” you clear your throat quietly and the half-shredded carrot drops into the metal bowl with a muted plunk, “i- what dream? i didn’t have a dream about you.”

he knows you’re trying to play it cool but he can see how tightly you’re gripping the grater and he can feel your ears getting hotter against his cheek

“i never said the dream was about me.”

oh, shit

you messed up

“so...?” namjoon moves your hair to the other side before leaning in to plant a warm kiss under your jaw, “this dream that you had… about me. tell me what happened in it.”

you swallow thickly, the gears working overtime in your brain as you try to come up with some kind of an excuse to get yourself out of this situation

you know that now isn’t the most appropriate moment to be thinking about this but you’re 100% going to slaughter yoongi the moment you get a chance to

the secret ingredient to make these cupcakes taste good will not be love

it will be BLEACH

you can’t believe he ratted you out like that!!

how embarrassing!!

“you were-” you cough, “um, you were… you… we…”

oh boy

this is already a train wreck

this is exactly why you didn’t want to tell namjoon about it!

because you know yourself and you knEW you were going to get all flustered and twitchy bringing it up

“well, i was-” you pause, “i was sitting on- sitting on the counter-”

“this one right here?” namjoon’s hand leaves your waist to pat the surface of the counter lightly and you nod gingerly, staring down at his obscenely pretty fingers, “what else?”

“that was it.” you blurt out, “the end!”

namjoon steps back a little and spins you around quickly before pressing you up against the counter, “what else, y/n?”

he traps you in between his arms and you fight the urge to explode into a million bits

oh god

okay

just tell him!

just SAY it

it’s time to get it over with!!

“you were…” your eyes flicker downwards and your nose scrunches slightly

you really don’t want to say it but you don’t think you can back out at this point because you’ve already said too much

“…eating me out.” you force out before averting your gaze and looking off to the side

you really wish there was a better way to say that because the phrase eating me out just sounds so… in your face, you know?

namjoon swallows thickly

so you had a dream about him eating you out?

“y/n, there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, i promise-” namjoon laughs lightly when he notices your entire face starting to go red

you let out a particularly pathetic whine before leaning your forehead against his chest and gently shoving at his (firm) abdomen

“what’s the problem?” he asks, rubbing comforting circles into your back, “i think about you, you know.”

“you’re just saying that…” you mumble, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “you’re lying...”

“no, i’m serious!” namjoon pulls away to look at you, “i… i think about you. i think about things.”

you blink twice

he thinks about you

he thinks about things

he thinks about you?

he thinks about things??

…what kind of things does he think about?

“y-you do?”

“of course i do.”

“oh.”

a moment of silence ticks by

“i think about a lot of things, y/n.”

“like what?” you look up at him, the corner of namjoon’s pretty mouth curling upwards

“you really wanna know?”

“yes.” you respond a little too quickly before clearing your throat quietly, “…please.”

“hm.” he smiles, “as polite as always-”

you gasp in surprise when namjoon suddenly lifts you up and plops you down on the countertop in one swift movement and your stomach flutters at how effortlessly he just did that

wowie

he places both hands flat on the surface on either side of you before looking up at you with his head tilted slightly

you keep your hands folded in your lap, nervously picking at the worn edges of the sweatshirt you’re wearing (it’s namjoon’s coffee-coloured sweatshirt that you ‘borrowed’ from him)

“mostly about fucking you into the headboard.” namjoon confesses, a smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth when he notices the way your eyes flicker

you definitely seemed to like that idea

“i think about your fingers pulling at my hair when i have my face in between your legs...” he hums, trailing a finger up from your kneecap to your thigh, “i think about how pretty you’d look bent over the counter for me. i think about the sounds you’d make, how soft your moans and gasps would be… i especially like thinking about you moaning my name. i think about you riding me wearing nothing but that cute little apron of yours - you know, the one with the little honeybees on them?”

“apron’s in the.. in the washing machine.” your breathing’s become a bit more shallow and you haven’t blinked in nearly a minute so it’s safe to say that he has your attention

“you know… i think you know what you do to me when you walk around wearing nothing but one of my sweatshirts and a pair of panties, or when you come out of the shower wrapped in a little towel because you ‘forgot’ your clothes in the bedroom…” namjoon murmurs lowly, “and don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me whenever you suck frosting off your fingers.”

“frosting?” you whisper, namjoon nodding as his eyes flicker down to your lips briefly

your tongue pokes out to swipe over your bottom lip for a split second

“that’s right.” the metal bowl scrapes against the counter as namjoon drags it over and you jump in surprise at the feeling of the chilled metal bumping up against your bare thigh

“you think you’re so innocent, don’t you?” namjoon chuckles lowly, lifting the spatula up before swiping some frosting off of it with the side of his thumb, “you think i don’t know what you’re up to?”

“i don’t…” you trail off, going cross-eyed when namjoon’s hand comes closer only for his pointer finger to tap at your bottom lip

“you do. open.”

you’re just a little thrown off because namjoon’s never... you’ve never seen him like this before

he’s never spoken to you like this before

he’s never looked at you like this before

you’re certainly not complaining, of course

“you taunt me because you like to-” you can’t seem to break away from namjoon’s gaze, the side of his pointer finger hooking underneath your chin as he pushes his thumb into your mouth, “i know you do it on purpose.”

almost immediately, the taste of sweet vanilla frosting washes over your palette

“you want me to think about you, don’t you?” namjoon swallows a groan when you start sucking, your cheeks hollowing slightly as your tongue swirls around his thumb to make sure no frosting gets left behind, “you like the thought of that? like leaving me high and dry because it forces me to use my own imagination?”

(admittedly, yes. a little part of you likes the thought of you completely consuming every corner of namjoon’s mind... just a little part, though.)

you nod slowly in response with glazed over eyes and namjoon clenches his jaw

fuck

he flattens his thumb down on your tongue to get you to open your mouth a little more for him and hums contently when you do so obediently

a thin line of spit stretches from your tongue to namjoon’s slick thumb as he pulls his hand away and you don’t even get a chance to register whatever that moment was before he’s leaning forward to slant his mouth over yours

namjoon kisses you purposefully, pulling you closer to him as you fist at his shirt tightly

he savours the faint sweetness of the frosting left behind on your tongue and can’t help but smile when he hears you whimper

“can i tell you something?” namjoon pulls away only to start sponging kisses to your neck and you tilt your head to the side for him

“uh-huh, y-yeah-” you nod quickly, slinging an arm around his neck to keep him close while the other hand grips at his shoulder

your eyes roll to the back of your head for a split second and you can’t help but quietly mouth an ‘oh my god’ to yourself because you never knew it could feel this good to have your neck kissed

“i think it’s hot as fuck that you had a wet dream about me,” namjoon groans lowly and you immediately feel a zing! of electricity travel straight down south from the sound of him speaking to you in such a deep, gravelly voice, “and you definitely don’t have to be shy about asking me to touch you… because i’m very willing to do so.”

“i want you to- w-want you to touch me-” you stutter, feeling your cheeks warm from hearing those words come out of your mouth, “want it so bad-”

your eyes pop open when namjoon suddenly pulls away and you frown, instantly missing the feeling of him being pressed up so tightly against you

“lift your hips-” namjoon pushes the bowl of frosting to the side before tapping two fingers on your upper thigh, “-up off the counter.”

your brows knit together in confusion

why would you-

your eyes widen in realisation when it dawns on you what exactly is happening here

“w-what-” you glance at the (for the most part, closed) kitchen door frantically before looking down at joon, “but yoongi’s in the-” you turn back and jump in surprise when you see that namjoon’s face is right in front of yours

you’re practically nose to nose with him

“i know.” namjoon leans in to give you a quick peck before pulling away with a particularly smug grin, “so you’re just going to have to stay quiet for me then, aren’t you?”

you WHAT

“why don’t we get these off, hm?” namjoon hooks a finger into the waistband of your shorts and gives it a gentle tug

you look at the door once again and then back at namjoon, who offers you an innocent little smile as if he didn’t just suggest going down on you on the kitchen counter with your friend in the room next door

okay

think about this!

think about this with your logical brain and not your bonk horny brain

would you rather see your very hot boyfriend’s face in between your legs or would you rather send him away so you can continue making a cake for your very picky friend?

…

you plant both palms on the counter before raising your hips a little, namjoon grinning in victory before yanking your shorts down in one go

if you would’ve known this was going to happen today you definitely would’ve worn a sexier pair of panties

white cotton is boring!!!

also you know this is the wrong time to be thinking this but you’re wondering if it would be possible to rope yoongi into a shopping spree at victoria’s secret next week because you’re going to need better looking panties if namjoon’s going to keep springing these spontaneous sessions on you

“cute.” namjoon hums, poking at the little blue bow that sits at the centre of the waistband

your breathing stills as he slowly lowers himself to his knees in front of you and you feel like your heart is about to beat out of your chest at the sight alone

“soaked right through…” namjoon observes quietly, turning his head to press a kiss to the pillowy flesh of your inner thigh, “i’ve barely touched you, baby.”

you jolt in surprise when he runs his thumb slowly up your slit through the thinned fabric of your panties, though he stops right as he’s about to reach your clit

so close yet so, so painfully far

you nudge him with your foot, “you’re teasing.” you swallow thickly, namjoon offering you a boyish grin as he tilts his head, pushing his bottom lip out in a mocking pout

“aw… am i?” he coos, and you shiver when he leans in to press a kiss over your clothed clit, “i’m sorry, darling… that must be so hard for you…”

“and you’re being mean.” you murmur, namjoon chuckling to himself as he pulls your panties down your legs

“am not.”

“are too.”

“am not.” namjoon perks a brow, pushing your thighs apart gently, “take it back.”

“no wa-!” your back immediately straightens as if a jolt of electricity just shot straight up your spine at the first feeling of namjoon licking one long stripe up your centre, and you fight back the urge to snap your legs shut

that’s.,., new!

very new

very new feeling

you’re certainly not against it and it’s not a bad feeling

it’s just…

new

“good?” your breath wavers when namjoon hums against you, your eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of his tongue slowly pressing in deep, “hm?”

namjoon slips his tongue in between your folds before sliding it flat and straight up to your swollen clit, grinning to himself when you finally give in to pleasure and lie back on the counter

you whimper, rolling your hips down towards his mouth as he drags his tongue over your slit in repetitive strokes before flicking his tongue over the top of your clit

it’s too much and not enough at the same time, your legs instinctively starting to squeeze shut around him

“nuh-uh, baby…” you find that you can barely move, namjoon’s fingers digging into your thigh as a warning as he keeps your legs open, “keep them spread for me.”

namjoon watches your reaction intensely, finding pleasure in the way that your chest rises and falls quickly and in the way you twitch every now and again

from here, he can see the way your brows furrow and the way you bite and tug at your bottom lip in a poor effort to keep yourself quiet

“you can use your words like a good girl, can’t you?” namjoon teases, two fingers rolling tight little circles into your clit as he watches you, barely blinking, “tell me how good it feels…”

“good- ungh, feels good-” you whimper, hips bucking up against his fingers desperately

namjoon looks down to see you practically dripping onto the counter

jesus

he would’ve done this a lot sooner had he known you’d be acting like this from his touch

“fuck me,” namjoon groans suddenly, and all of a sudden it seems like everything’s moving ten times faster than before, “you look so fucking hot right now-”, he wraps his strong arms underneath both your thighs before yanking you closer to him, practically burying his entire face in between your legs

your right leg gets hitched up over his shoulder and you quickly sit back up, digging your fingers into the soft strands of namjoon’s hair as his tongue laves back and forth against your folds

your back arches and you tilt your head up towards the ceiling, namjoon instinctively pushing his clothed crotch against the bottom part of the counter for some kind of relief

he’s so painfully hard from just hearing you hold back moans and watching you squirm and twitch

you remind yourself to loosen your grip on namjoon’s hair because you’re worried that you might accidentally rip some strands out and leave him with a bald patch, but namjoon obviously doesn’t seem to mind as he doubles his efforts and starts to lick and and suck with tremendous fervour

“fuck, you taste good-” he curses, his right hand sliding underneath your sweatshirt to cup your bare breast before he pinches and rolls your nipple in between his fingers

he drags his tongue down to circle around your tight hole and you jerk immediately, “oh my god-” you pant, overwhelmed by all the different feelings your body is experiencing at this moment, “that feels so-”

your bum is teetering on the edge of the counter at this point because namjoon’s basically pulled you off of it and you reach down to grip at the edges so you don’t fall off

“gonna cum?” namjoon murmurs, eyes locking on your face almost immediately as he feels you starting to squirm underneath him

he really wants to watch you cum

“j-joonie, god, don’t stop-” the arm wrapped around your waist tightens around you and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues his torturous onslaught of pleasure, “i-i- nngh- namjoon-!”

“i’ve got you, baby… you can cum…” namjoon feels himself twitch in his sweats upon hearing you moan his name like that

the thought of gagging you with your own panties to mute your moans briefly flits through his mind but... he wants to hear you moaning his name over and over and over again

he wants to make you scream for him

when it happens, you practically bite your bottom lip off trying not to cry out in ecstasy

namjoon has to hold your trembling thighs open to keep them from snapping his head right off

your hips buck lazily as you quiver around namjoon’s hot tongue, your body glistening in a sheen layer of sweat as you bask in the slow, rolling waves of ecstasy

you lie back down against the counter, chest heaving beneath your sweater as you stare dazedly up at the ceiling

oh, wow

you watch as the ceiling fan whirrs around and around and around

you feel like you’re not physically here right now

like your soul left your body and you’re just floating in the air like a bunch of particles

“-!” you twitch when namjoon carefully wipes you off with your panties before setting them onto the counter next to you

you slowly prop yourself up onto your elbows so you can look at him, feeling your cheeks flush when you see that he’s looking right at you

you’re not sure why you’ve gone all shy again as if his tongue wasn’t licking you out ten seconds ago

“hi, pretty girl...” he smiles, his dimple popping up in his right cheek, “welcome back.” he jokes, rising to his feet while keeping your right leg propped up onto his shoulder

he turns to give your ankle a kiss before gently bringing your leg down and helping you sit up

“that was really something...” you wrap your arms loosely around his neck as he grasps your hips before leaning down to give you a sweet little kiss

“oh yeah? did i live up to dreamjoon?” namjoon teases, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before pinching the apple of your cheek

“you did a much better job than dreamjoon.” you hum, and it’s only then that you’re aware of the very prominent bulge pressing into your centre, “but i... i wanna make you feel good, too…” you murmur, namjoon biting back a groan when you nudge your bare centre against him, a darkened splotch now staining the front of his sweatpants “and…” you lean upwards to whisper something into namjoon’s ear

...

holy shit

yes please

“yeah, shit, we can definitely do that-” namjoon hates to admit to how horny he is but he can’t help it when you go around saying stuff like that to him, “we-” he pauses suddenly, eyes going wide in panic, “oh, shit!”

“wh- what??” you look around the kitchen frantically before grabbing the closest thing to you as a form of defence (a silicone whisk)

“friggin’ yoongi-!” namjoon hisses in pain as he adjusts himself in his sweatpants, “i forgot about yoongi-”

okay

a little weird of him to be thinking about yoongi while he’s touching his-

“oh my god, yoongi!” you hiss quietly, hopping off the counter with wobbly legs

namjoon hands you your shorts and you quickly wiggle into them before pulling your sweatshirt down

you completely forgot that yoongi was in the room right next to you guys and that last moan of yours wasn’t exactly quiet

and you know that yoongi might not have a lot of knowledge when it comes to baking, but you’re sure that he knows enough to know that practically screaming namjoon’s name out loud isn’t a key step in achieving a fluffy cake batter

“we weren’t doing anything!”

the two of you stumble out into the living room and you file through your brain to come up with some kind of a logical excuse as to why you’re hot and sweaty and why namjoon’s hiding his lower half behind a kitchen towel and how in the world those two facts are related to his precious carrot cake cupcakes

you pause when you notice that yoongi’s nowhere to be found

the documentary’s still playing on the TV, the boxes of tinsel and baubles have been completely abandoned, and there’s nothing but a blue sticky note sitting on the couch

taking a nap in my car. text me when you guys are done being horny. also - you’re welcome.

christmas with cee 2020 masterlist

🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? 🎁

970 notes · View notes

anthrogothic · 3 years ago

Text

Body/Prision

so, here we go to the second part of the fic. ours has been exciting to write this. I hope you like it <3 (originally written in Brazilian Portuguese. sorry for any error).

Third part here

Pairing: Echo x f!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Mentions of trauma, anxiety, panic, a little violence but nothing much and ~some physical mentions~ (and echo being a baby who needs care)

Heading towards the lab, you went through documents and reports on your datapad connected to the data network, finding the files of your newly known atypical clones, seeing that there were still three to meet in person.

One of them, with a rather traumatic past in your opinion. Another look like someone who is difficult to deal with. And lastly, one similar to your fellow nerds from college. Already imagining your scientific conversations.

You find your sweet auxiliary Omega standing at the door of the lab. She is also a clone, young and adorable. With short hair, the same color as the sun (if you remember the last time you saw one).

But with Jango Fett's pure DNA in her cells. Only you and Nala know this. Your conscience always brings you that painful twinge whenever the memory occurs to you.

"Y/N! I was looking for you!"

The girl came running towards you, with a scared face, taking your right hand and pulling you with her.

"Hey Omega, Stars, what's up?"

You almost shuffled your legs trying not to fall.

"I've been sent to help with clone ratings today! But Echo is very upset and I can't get him to calm down!"

Before you could ask for further explanation, you were already being dragged to the door of the room.

Stopping at the door, Omega pushed you inside when you spotted the trembling clone sitting with his back to the door, on top of the gurney, aiming his blaster at the three doctors ahead.

"Echo! I found her!"

The girl's voice was a mixture of relief and determination. The other three doctors in the room are clearly pissed off, hands up in front of the clone.

"Y/N isn't even a doctor, Omega!"

He yelled one of them, straightening and clasping his hands at his sides.

"You should have brought security!" yelled the other.

"She'll do it! She is better than you all!"

Screamed the little girl, pointing a finger at the three. You put a hand on her shoulder, signaling her to calm down. Gently you addressed the clone, froze as he stared into your eyes.

It was him… that clone whose record you were horrified to read. He was pale. With metallic accesses on his shaved head, a cybernetic prosthesis that covered his ears, his right forearm also cybernetic and thinner than most strong clones you know. Only the legs, also robotic, were covered by his blacks. His eyes were frightened and his limbs locked together at his sides, his good hand, shaking, still holding the blaster.

"A-Are you Doctor Y/N?"

His voice was deep, shaky and fraught with anxiety.

You, already with your heart sinking at his state, approached slowly, removing your white jumpsuit and leaving it on a small metal table nearby, catching the clone's attention with your tight black outfit.

"Yes… Echo, right? I assume you have a panic attack due to your accident… you shouldn't be brought into environments like this."

Your voice was calm and sweet. Looking at doctors with dislike in your last words. Echo looked away, clearly uncomfortable. The hand that was armed, wavering, and your hand slowly landing on top of the blaster, lowering it slowly, the clone giving way.

Suddenly one of the already impatient doctors approached abruptly and grabbed your shoulder from behind you.

"Let's go! We don't have time for theaters! Sedation didn't work this time, but nothing a dose would not do well on rebel clones!"

Spotting the syringe the doctor was pulling out of his lab coat, Omega jumped on his arm as she screamed. You turned, startled, seeing the fist that the doctor was already closing to hit the girl. In a rush of adrenaline, you punched him in the nose, he staggered backward, and Omega took the syringe from his hand. The other two came to help the doctor, who pushed them away claiming he was fine, looking at you with hate.

"You're in big trouble, girl! And you too, stuck-up scientist!"

His voice really was scary. But suddenly, Echo's voice came from behind you like thunder.

"Do something with them, and you'll have to come to terms with me and my squad."

His voice, full of hate and gravelly. His arm trembled as he aimed the blaster at the doctor, finger on the trigger.

"Not to mention the possible murder he was going to cause with so much sedative in a clone with a body not yet fully mapped to know the consequences."

Snorted Omega right beside you, all proud with the syringe in her hand.

"Uh, Nala Se will love to hear that."

You said, crossing your arms and looking at the doctor in defiance.

The attacking doctor flinched, growling as he left the room. The other two fearful:

"Please, it's our first week here. Don't hand us over to Nala Se. We just obey orders."

Begged one of the doctors, this one was much younger than the aggressor, probably doing residency with another colleague.

"Withdraw then. And let the rest of the team know the behavior of that bantha in the lab coat! He doesn't deserve to be your supervisor. He is the one who has to be supervised!"

Your voice was authoritative and even. All that remained was for the men to nod and leave the room.

Echo threw himself onto the gurney, breathing wildly and running a hand across his forehead. You stopped in front of the clone and slowly sat down beside him on the stretcher. Instructing him to take a few deep breaths, then slowly exhale for a few more, repeatedly. Echo tried to follow your directions, faltering a few times but picking up his pace eventually.

"There is! We make an amazing team! I told you, Echo!"

Omega's voice trying to bring relief to the tense environment. She continued.

"Y/N is the best! She will be nice to you!"

You, realizing the responsibility that Omega gave you, nodded with the girl's words.

"Well… I'm not exactly a doctor, as we've heard… but I know enough. You can trust me, Echo."

The clone looked at you with less awe, bearing in mind what you did.

"I- I feared that I would go through the physical evaluations again. I know they are mandatory, but... they remind me of the Citadel..."

His gaze roamed the metalized room, filled with stretchers, huge equipment, and light panels.

The doctors just didn't care and sedated him whenever it became impossible to assess him. Putting gadgets into his body, pushing him into big gadgets and treating his cybernetics like pieces of scrap metal.

"I don't want to be a problem again... I know I have obligations as a soldier, but I can't be okay here!"

He squeezed the biceps of his other arm with his hand, trying to stay in control as he felt a new wave of anxiety.

You gently placed your hand on his back, feeling him recoil involuntarily.

"Unfortunately it's standard procedure… but if you promise me secrecy, we can only do the basic assessment, and it could be in your room, a theoretically cozy place for you. I can do that from now on if you want."

Echo sighed, relieved at the option before looking at you again. His expression is lighter. Omega already excited to see her clone brother a little more relaxed. You smiled and calmly guided him to the dorm.

All the way the three of you were shot with stares and comments. You scolding each one with your furious glare, Omega stuck out his tongue at the attackers, while Echo lowered his head every time. His tall stature, allowing you to see his depressed expression from below.

Omega opened the door as you arrived soon after, still next to Echo. Omega pointed to the bunk and you asked permission to sit, Echo, growing more and more stunned by your sweet attitude toward him, nodded.

Placing the small silver suitcase you brought along on the floor, you took Echo by the hand, inviting him to sit beside you.

You asked permission with each movement and touch the soldier's body, trying to be gentle, as if his body were the most sensitive of porcelain. You were curious about his cybernetics, but you chose not to bring it up.

Omega was sitting by your suitcase, legs crossed on the floor, handing out all the little devices you needed to gauge the clone's basic physical parameters, but never looking away from him.

You explained what you were doing and why, warned of any movement or approach of the small devices and their purpose. Echo just nodded, getting a lot more confident in you.

You can't help but notice the tight, visible muscles. The heat radiating from the clone's body. The sharp, attractive shape of his body in that tight black outfit. Feeling the slight reactions whenever your fingertips touched him. The shy look he gave you.

Omega looked uncomfortable, pacing back and forth when you were wearing the last device on Echo's body, checking his heart function.

"Omega, what is it?"

Echo said low but firm, surprising you by the contrast to the voice that trembled earlier.

"I lied to Nala Se, saying that I went to get more supplies with Y/N, that it would take her time to get to the lab, so I could take her to you. If the confusion gets to her ears, she'll find out."

Omega ran her hand constantly over the back of her neck and through hair, the little eyes fearful.

You widened your eyes at the girl, remembering that you was requested earlier and for her boldness with the doctor (as if you didn't know her). Already trying to devise a plan to cover up the improvised procedure with Echo.

"Hm... I can talk to some clone friends to claim that we left Kamino for a few hours… I don't want Nala Se mad at us. And about the fight, well, we just defended ourselves."

You said with a smug smile on your full lips, forgetting your hand resting on Echo's covered chest, your hand already warming the spot. He watched your hand standing there, your skin seemingly smooth, the fingers small and delicate, rising and falling with his breath and causing a strange sensation deep in his racing heart.

The way you welcomed him and tried to keep him safe. You defended him. Just like your brothers before it all happened. He hadn't experienced this in a long time. But like a knife, he slashed his thoughts and threw them aside. He no longer allowed himself to wander through such things, after all, what kind of relationship could he have, being like that.

He came back to consciousness with your movement, withdrawing you hand and standing up, Omega already picking up the small suitcase from the floor.

"A-Are we done yet?"

A slight disappointment was clear in the clone's voice. You crouched down between his spread thighs, looking him in the eye, giving the clone's eyes access to your light cleavage and your silvery cord that went between your breasts.

"We've finished the basics, Echo. You are strong and healthy. I'll be back to do the rest tomorrow, after my shift, if you're comfortable."

Your eyes were like adorable little twinkling stars. So comforting and sincere, just like you, all the time with him. He nodded, a slight smile breaking his pale lips, bringing a slight, sweet swell to his heart.

You stood up, carefully taking the clone's hand, pulling a pen out of your pinned hair, and jotting down your personal communicator code in the palm of his hand.

"Let me know anything, Echo. Drink water and do the breathing exercises before going to bed."

Smiling, you turned around, heading for the door, being caught up by Omega just after she gave your brother a hug. The door closed as you remembered to scold the brave little girl for her attitude earlier.

Echo was left alone. Only with the sound of his heart pounding in his ears in the dim light in the room. The raindrops hitting the glass.

He put his hand where yours was moments ago, reading your code by pulling his palm away from his chest. He was calm. Something impossible after days of evaluations.

But beyond that, he felt real, alive, and eager to see you the next day, as much as his guts and gears wanted to say otherwise.

#echo x reader #arc trooper echo #fanfic #clone simp #the clone wars #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch #star wars #clone trooper echo #writers on tumblr #writers #female writers #body/prision #echo x fem reader #star wars x reader #clone wars x reader #echo x you #echo x y/n

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buried-in-autumn-leaves · 4 years ago

Text

A Sister’s Promise (The Dress)

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandom: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)

Relationships: B.O.Y.D./Huey Duck (Disney: DuckTales), Lena (Disney: DuckTales)/Webby Vanderquack

Characters: B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales), Huey Duck (Disney), Dewey Duck (Disney), Lena (Disney: DuckTales), Webby Vanderquack, Louie Duck (mentioned)

Word Count: 3027

Also Available On AO3 !!!

Movie nights are common for the kids. With such exciting lives outside and inside the mansion, there was something calming about nights like these. Where they would all sneak into Webby's room after the adults had gone to bed. Windows would be left open for Boyd, Lena, and the others to get in from outside without risking the front door.

This night was not unlike the others, but it was considerably smaller, only Webby and Huey currently present. They were waiting on Lena, who was expected to arrive soon. The absent of the other triplets was requested by Huey actually, and though odd, Webby didn't question it. She was sure there was a reason, and she'd learned not to question things between the three of them. As she finished bringing in the pile of blankets from the hall closet (They weren't meant to go in there, but what the others didn't know wouldn't hurt them.) Huey had settled on the floor across from the TV, "Hey Webs, throw me a snack?"

She reached into the basket next to her, where the group had kept all the snacks they've managed to sneak out of the kitchen. As she tossed a candy bar towards Huey, a tap could be heard on the window behind her. Huey jumped out of his seat.

"What was that?"

"Oh, I forgot to open the window. Probably just Lena, don't worry." She made a point made a point of reassuring them often, knowing how bad his anxiety could get. She ran over and threw open the window. Just as she said, as it opened a shadow could be seen moving on the wall, into the rooms, and then down onto the floor. After a second, the shadow faded, letting Lena's physical form take shape.

They smiled at Webby, "Hey, sorry, still not good at the whole 'going through windows' thing. The others not here yet?"

"It's actually just us this time, but I might invite BOYD over after Tangled. We're watching Big Hero Six, and it's his favourite-" She froze, and looked back over at Huey, her tone teasing. "Oh, would that be okay Huey?"

"Well not if you're gonna talk like that." He responded, rolling his eyes. Their crush on the android friend wasn't exactly a secret to anyone, but Boyd was kind of oblivious when it came to stuff like that, so thankfully he hadn't figured it out yet.

She noticed a backpack that had been hidden behind Huey before he had sat down. "Oh, are you sleeping in here? You can, of course. I'm just not sure how we'd keep that one from Dewey and Louie since you share a room and everything."

"Oh, no I wasn't planning on it, I just brought something I wanted to show you." He seemed a bit nervous, but mostly excited? "Just wait here for a second, I'll be right back!"

Without giving Webby or Lena a chance to answer, they ran out of Webby's room and she heard them enter the bathroom next door. Lena laughed, grabbing a random bag out of the basket of snacks and sitting down next to Webby. "Jeez, you guys are weird."

Webby awkwardly half-laughed back. "Yeah…" It wasn't anything Lena did, of course. She was just curious about what Huey could possibly be hiding.

A few minutes had passed. Webby and Lena were watching an Ottoman Empire rerun as they waited for Huey to come back. As the hosts once again started arguing, the two turned around, hearing a slightly static sound. Lena ran over to the source first. She pulled something out from under Webby's bed. "It's your walkie-talkie."

"Webby, please pick up, I need your help with something." Huey's voice could be heard clearly through the talkie, and Webby, confused, ran over to answer.

"Huey? Why do you even have your talkie on you? What's going on?"

"Junior Woodchuck Rule #1: 'Always expect the unexpected.' But that doesn't matter. Dewey's out in the hall. I need you to get rid of him for me."

"Get rid of him? Why? You're starting to worry me…"

"It's nothing bad, I promise. Just do this for me, please?" He seemed sure, and he didn't seem too upset, so choosing to once again not press the issue, (at least for now) Webby sighed and handed the device to Lena.

"I'll be right back, this shouldn't take more than a minute."

"It's not a problem, Pink. But I am not gonna pause this episode." Lena laughed, sitting back down near the TV. Smiling slightly, Webby nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Just as Huey had said, Dewey was walking around in the hall. He was carrying a tape measure and a clipboard. Webby watched as he seemed to write something down and hold the tape measure against a portion of the wall.

"Um… Dewey?" He turned around quickly, going to hide the objects behind his back. What he didn't expect was for the tape measure to snap shut and hit him in the side of the head. Exclaiming in pain, he shook his head and smiled awkwardly.

"Hey Webby, how are you?" He said, clearly not wanting to explain.

"I don't-" She started, then sighed, deciding the conversation probably wasn't worth it. "Just put this off for the night and I won’t tell anyone what just happened. I'm trying to sleep."

"Fine, deal. Oh, have you seen Huey? He didn't actually tell us where he was going." He picked up the dropped items from the floor.

Panicking, Webby stuttered, trying to think of something that's not suspicious. "He's uh… With Boyd!"

Not a good idea, apparently. Dewey looked surprised, before questioning. "Boyd? Like the Gearloose robo-kid Boyd? OH! Did he finally ask him out?! Louie so owes me $10-"

"What?! No, I- Wait you guys were betting?" She scoffed. She'd definitely be bringing that up later. How dare they not tell her? She could've won so easily! "Anyways, it doesn't matter. Just please let me go to bed."

Previous plans completely forgotten, Dewey nodded and ran back towards his room, yelling at Louie about the money. Once she was sure he wasn't coming back, Webby walked over to the wall where he had just been standing and picked up the clipboard that now lay forgotten on the ground.

"Indoor waterslide? Well, at least he got the measurements right…" Placing the board back down on the ground, she skipped over to bathroom door, grateful that the triplets were so easily distracted. She knocked once on the door, speaking quietly.

"He's gone, you owe me." She wasn't completely serious, of course, but Huey was definitely texting Boyd later that night. It was about time something happened between them, anyways.

"Thanks Webs. I'll be back in just a minute, don't wait for me."

Back in the room, she sat down next to Lena, who was just as curious as she was about Huey's plans. After pausing the show on the TV, they spoke up.

"What do you think he's hiding? I mean not wanting the adults to see I get, but their brothers? I mean I just don't get it."

"I know. This has only happened like once before, and that was when…" She trailed off, then gasped, smiling. "New clothes."

"What?"

"They got new clothes! Oh maybe it's a skirt, we were looking at some the other day-"

She was cut off by a knock at the door, and stopped talking immediately. "Who is it?"

"It's Huey, I just wanted to be able to see your first reaction to this-" Webby interrupted him once again.

"Is it a new outfit?" She asked, excitedly. She heard a sigh from the other side of the door.

"Jeez Webs, you ruin all my surprises."

Then the door opened, and there was Huey, pink and red butterfly clips in his hair, wearing a dress.

It was red, and pretty simple in design, reaching down to where Webby's skirts normally landed when they wore them. After a few seconds of shock, Webby finally seemed to realise what was happening, and squealed. She ran over, almost choking Huey in a tight hug. As he looked behind her, he saw Lena smiling, hands flapping as she ran over to look at the clips.

"These are so cute! Did you make them?"

"Yeah I just-"

"How did you even get this?! Donald and the others always go shopping with you. Oh let me go get my camera!"

"Well I had to-"

"What style would this be considered? I think you'd look really good in a sort of pastel emo vibe, you know? Maybe we could-"

At this point Huey had stopped processing what was being said. The shouting combined with the flash of Webby's camera was so much and it hurt. He pushed his way through Webby and Lena and shakily walked over to the corner of the room the light didn't quite reach. He immediately sat down against the wall and pulled their knees up to his chest, hiding their head and rocking slowly. That was when the others seemed to realise the issue. Webby was the first to act.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry-" She spoke quietly, frowning when Huey had tried to sign that he was okay. "Lena, there's a pair of headphones on my bed. Go grab them for me please?" Lena nodded and quickly went to retrieve them.

So, sensory overload.

It wasn't uncommon for Huey to have these episodes. His ADHD commonly contrasted with his sister's, hers being more hyperactive while his was more inattentive. There was nothing inherently bad about that of course, sometimes it was even a positive part of their dynamic. However it also caused Webby to commonly forget about how bad Huey's sensory issues could get, and so her hyperactivity has caused Huey to go through these episodes a few times before. Still, she never felt and less awful every time it happened.

But this wasn't about her, so she cleared her throat and blinked back the tears as Lena came back and handed her the headphones. She walked over to where Huey was still in that same position on the floor and put the headphones on the floor next to them. She then ran over to a box on her nightstand. Her creative nature had helped her make a variety of stim toys for the others based off how she'd seen them act. Louie had a noise based fidget cube, Dewey a necklace with different chew-safe pieces on it in different textures, etc.

She pulled out Huey's, which was her personal favourite she'd made. One of Huey's main soothers is soft textures like plushies, so that's what she focused on. The plush cube had different fabrics on each side, ranging from longer fur-like fabric to fleece to silk. She made sure there were slight separations between fabrics so Huey had full control on which texture he was touching. This feeling of control tended to help them calm down.

When she walked back over to where Huey was, they were wearing the headphones, and his head was up, but the rocking was still going on. She walked over and handed him the cube, being careful not to touch him directly until he said they were okay with contact.

As this was going on, Lena had gone over to the doorway to dim the lights. The feature was installed by Webby (only starting two fires in the process) after Huey's first overload. And sure, it would've probably been easier to ask one of the adults to help her, but where's the fun in that?

Webby and Lena waited in an awkward silence, letting Huey calm down fully. It seemed the overload left them nonverbal, at least for the moment. Fortunately, since these episodes were common enough, being nonverbal wouldn't completely cut off their ability to communicate. The two had learned basic sign language a few months prior. It wasn't difficult, considering how many languages Webby already knew and how quickly Huey could memorize things like that.

"How're you feeling?" She signed slowly, giving Huey a second to process. After a moment, he raised his hands, only slightly shaking now, to answer.

"Fine, just voice troubles again."

"Are you sure? Do you need anything?" As the conversation went on, Webby said both her own and Huey's parts out loud so Lena would know what's going on. She had attempted to learn the language along with Huey, but turns out it's a little harder to focus on such small details when you can just magic yourself a solution to pretty much any problem.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He responded. "But I don't think I can answer those questions you asked earlier right now. Maybe we could just start the movie first?"

Webby smiled, handing the remote over to Lena, who went to look for the movie. "Yeah, of course. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?"

Huey smiled back and nodded, moving out of the corner and back to where Lena and Webby had set up for the movie. Leaning back against the end of Webby's bed, Huey smiled at their sister, turning his attention to the movie, that had just started.

By the time Mother Gothel had started warning Rapunzel about the dangers outside the tower, Huey had completely recovered. He cleared his throat, gaining the other's attention.

"I'm okay now. Uhm, to answer the questions, yes I made the clips. They're a pretty simple design, so I just stole some basic welding equipment from Gyro's lab while Boyd distracted him for me. And I didn't buy the dress, I made it. Sewing is one of the first badges I got, so it wasn't too difficult."

"That's really impressive, you know," Lena insisted. "You always say stuff like that. 'It's not that much, it's not a big deal.' Give yourself some credit."

Huey gave a small smile and nodded. "Noted… Thanks, Lena."

"Don't sweat it, nerd."

"She's right. And sorry, again. I keep forgetting and I really didn’t mean to-" Webby rambled before Huey cut her off.

"It's fine Webby, really. I know you didn’t mean to, you wouldn't do that." He said, mirroring the times she would always reassure them after an overload or any sort of episode.

Webby smiled at that, and then turned back towards the screen. However, the silent watching of the movie didn't last long, because it seemed Webby had one more question.

"Hey, Huey?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you hide this stuff from your brothers?" She asked quietly, frowning when Huey tensed up at the question. "You don't have to answer, I was just curious-"

"No… It's fine. Just caught me off guard I guess." He trailed off, absentmindedly staring at the TV. "I don't know, really. I think it's just because I want them to take me seriously?" He ended the statement more like a question.

"What do you mean?" Lena butted into the conversation, pausing the movie.

Huey shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's a stupid fear." This got Webby to smack their arm lightly.

"It's not stupid. You have bad anxiety, and you overthink stuff. Think about Louie. When he came out, did you start treating him like a child? I mean, any more then you already do?" She laughed. Louie was always treated like the youngest sibling by a huge margin, despite only being a few minutes younger.

He shook his head. "No..."

Smiling now, Webby spoke up again, teasing. "Well? What did you do?"

Huey sighed, laughing slightly. "I altered his dress into a suit design."

"Exactly!" She exclaimed, beaming. "And Dewey helped! In his own way... But everything went fine. And it'll go fine with you too, I promise."

They didn't answer, simply smiling and nodding slightly. "You can start the movie again, Lena."

As the characters danced across the screen, Huey looked down at their dress, smoothing out the wrinkles in the fabric.

Maybe Webby was right. Maybe it would be okay. I mean they were family, right? He decided he should talk to Della first. That would be easiest. Plus she may be able to help talk to their brothers. She was their mom, right? If she told them, then nothing could really go wrong, at least for the moment.

He thought about how he would tell her, going through individual lines of dialogue and things she could ask or say. This internal monologue was interrupted by someone snapping in front of his face.

"Huey? You there?" Webby asked, smiling.

"Huh? Yeah, sorry. Just thinking. What's up?"

"You have your phone on you, right?"

They nodded, pulling the phone out of the bag that had held the dress. "Need me to call Vi or something?" His phone was quickly snatched out of his hand, and he looked at Webby, confused.

"Nope! It's just this movie's almost over so Boyd is gonna be here in a few minutes-" She paused, looking over at Lena, "Ah, speaking of which, could you please open the window, Lena?" When they walked over to open it, Webby turned back towards Huey. "But anyways, since he's gonna be here, I'm taking this so you'll actually have to talk to him. And if you really don't want to tell him that's fine. Obviously I won't force you. But I really think he likes you."

Shaking his head, Huey laughed. "I mean, nothing else could go wrong tonight…"

"Yeah! And if anything goes wrong I can just delete the memory from his software!" She said, beaming.

"No!" Huey yelled, looking at the door and waiting a moment before talking quieter. "We've talked about this. No editing Boyd's memories!"

"Yeah yeah, I know. So what do you say?" She asked, excitedly.

She watched as Huey looked down at his dress again, and looked up, grinning.

"I'll tell him. As long as you don't try to mess with anything, and you can't be in the same room when I do it. I'll drag him out to the garden or something. Deal?" He held his hand out towards her, and she shook it immediately.

"Deal!"

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #dt webby #Webbigail Vanderquack #lena sabrewing #Huey Dewey and Louie #trans huey #Huey Duck #enby huey #trans webby #enby lena #long post #trans character #gender noncomformity #boyd gearloose #huey x boyd #webby x lena

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songsoomin · 4 years ago

Text

Begin Again Part 2 (A,F)

Word count: Around 6k

Idol! Jongho x Fem Reader, Best friend! Hongjoong. Reader has serious body confidence issues due to a past relationship but Jongho will help her through it. First two chapters will be angst with some fluff but a little smut will appear in chapter 3.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, both emotional and psychological, body shaming, anxiety issues.

Author’s note: Reader is overweight but not as massive as she thinks she is. She has been conditioned through psychological abuse to believe she is very fat and unattractive. This is not intended to be the kind of story where reader becomes thin and is then happy and gets male attention (although, due to reader’s warped sense of self she does equate being thin with being happy). Even after losing some weight (for her own health and happiness) she is still somewhat overweight and curvy but the more important part is that she gets her confidence back and that is what makes her happier and more attractive.

Part 1 Part 3

Posted 18th December 2020

@boss-baby-jongho Sorry it took so long

It had been a few months now since you and Jongho had been training together and you were much closer. You got on well with all the boys but Jongho was the closest to you now aside from Hongjoong. You still saw Hongjoong alone quite often - he would come over to your apartment and you'd watch movies and talk but you also spent plenty of time with all of them together.

This evening you had just come into the boys' dorm with Jongho after another gym session to the smell of cooking. You looked into the kitchen to find Seonghwa and Wooyoung cooking while Woo pestered the older boy like usual, telling him he was doing it all wrong. Hwa had his usual patient look on his face, completely used to Wooyoung's nonsense.

"Y/N!" Yunho called out in greeting . You could see he wanted to hug you like he usually would to others; he was such a warm, affectionate person but he knew it would make you uncomfortable. He settled for stroking your arm instead. You were getting much better at accepting physical affection from them these days. Hongjoong gave you your usual hug and Yunho looked sulkily at you.

"She'll get there, Yunho, just be patient. You'll get hugs soon." Hongjoong told the tall blue-haired boy and you had to laugh at how hopeful his face suddenly turned. You often referred to them as 'boys' but they were all grown men. You wouldn't think it sometimes, though, with how sulky they could get. Yunho and Mingi could appear intimidating with how big they were but really just loved cuddles, no matter who from. San loved his plushies and Woo was so playful and teasing that sometimes they seemed younger than they were. Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yeosang seemed like the more mature of the group. Jongho was a bit of a mixture; he seemed mature despite being the youngest but he could be pouty sometimes. You were sure, however, that he just used that to get what he wanted. It usually worked, though, you could never deny him anything when he unleashed the full power of his pout.

Seonghwa had made tteokboki - your favourite - and you were all just eating and chatting happily but Mingi seemed quieter than usual and you could feel him watching you during dinner. The drinks had been flowing as none of you had to get up the next day and you felt comfortable enough now to ask him why on earth he'd been watching you so much.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think you'd noticed."

"You weren't being that subtle, Mingi." You said, amused by his sheepish reply.

"I was just thinking...you always wear such baggy clothes but working out with Jongho must be working because they seem so much bigger on you now."

"You are looking smaller, Y/N." Hongjoong agreed.

"You think?" You asked, you had thought so but with wearing baggy clothes already it wasn't so easy to notice when they got baggier - at least to you...Mingi seemed to see it.

"Definitely." Jongho added, "There's no way my master-level instruction isn't working." You giggled while the others all groaned at his smug evaluation of his talents.

"Well, thanks, I guess...but why do you say so?" You asked Mingi uncertainly, naturally worrying it was something bad that caused him to bring it up. Did you still look that bad? You were hoping all your hard work would make you look better.

"There's nothing wrong if that's what you're comfortable in but I was just thinking it's a shame to hide all the hard work you've been doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Baggy clothes hide your real shape. Some people wear them because they are uncomfortable with their size but they tend to make a person look bigger than they are."

"Oh god, he's on about clothes again." Yeosang muttered.

Ignoring Yeosang's comment you felt your heart drop. Mingi could see exactly what you were doing and - worse - was calling you out on it in front of everyone. You looked down at your food not wanting to look anyone if them in the eye. You felt exposed having your size become the topic of discussion at the dinner table.

"You've made her feel bad, you moron!" Jongho said, glaring at Mingi.

"Calm down, Jongho, we all know you like - "

"Shut up!" Jongho warned, uncharacteristically ill-tempered.

"Well, as I was going to say...don't take it out on Mingi. You know he wouldn't have meant to upset Y/N."

"No! Of course not!" Mingi exclaimed, looking apologetic.

You were certainly confused. You'd never seen Jongho get worked up like that and couldn't see how it linked to what Mingi had said. Maybe what Yeosang was trying to say would've explained it but it was obviously something Jongho didn't want him to say.

"It's okay, Mingi. It's not your fault I'm so sensitive about it. Please continue with what you were saying."

"What I wanted to say is that you should let me take you out to get some clothes that would work much better on you." The brown-haired boy looked excited at the thought but to you even the thought was causing worry to rise in your chest.

"Oh, no. No. I'm no good at clothes shopping. Everything looks bad on me and I just end up crying."

"But..." Mingi continued, "I am very good at clothes shopping and I know exactly what will make you look good."

"You do?" You were still very uncertain about this but the alcohol was making you more suggestible.

"Excuse me? Have you ever seen me in a bad outfit?"

"Here it comes..." Mumbled Yeosang.

"I have never chosen a bad outfit in my whole life. I was born with amazing fashion sense." Mingi declared as the others all rolled their eyes at his overexaggerated claim.

"Uh...I don't know."

"Go on, Y/N... it'll be fun. As modest as he is..." Wooyoung stopped to shake his head at Mingi, "...he does actually know what he's doing when it comes to clothes."

"Okay. As long as I don't end up crying, though." You were already anxious and not really sure why you'd agreed to it.

"If you do it looks like Mingi will have Jongho to deal with." Wooyoung snorted.

In response Jongho stood quickly from the table and stalked down the hall to the room he shared with Mingi. You looked after him sadly. It was horrible seeing him upset. You had no idea what this was all about but it seemed like they were teasing him about something. You looked at the other boys with questioning eyes.

It was Seonghwa who answered your look, "Don't worry, Y/N. He'll be fine, he usually calms down quickly."

Later on when you and Hongjoong were alone in the kitchen doing the dishes you decided to ask your red-haired best friend about it.

"Joong?"

"Yeah?"

"What was Jongho so upset about?"

"Oh...uh...well, I probably shouldn't say anything...but I'm not sure if he ever will."

Hongjoong pondered his statement as he washed another plate. This was not clearing anything up at all.

"I'm not following."

"He likes you." Hongjoong said putting the plate on the drainer for you to dry up.

"I like him, too. He's really fun to be around."

"No, I mean he likes you." Hongjoong emphasised, looking you dead in the eye.

You were stunned. Why would Joongie think that?

"Don't be ridiculous." You scolded him lightly.

"I mean it!" He defended.

"It's not that. He's probably just feeling protective as we've got closer now. No one likes their friends being upset." You nodded to yourself at your more correct assessment of the situation. Anything else was simply unbelievable to you. No one ever thought of you like that. Least of all someone as perfect as Jongho.

********

The next morning you woke up feeling just slightly hungover as you'd all continued drinking further into the evening. All except Jongho, of course. He didn't come back out and that really put a damper on your evening. However, you weren't feeling too bad until you remember that you'd agreed to let Mingi take you shopping. You groaned loudly and tried to work out how to get out of it before deciding you'd have to go because you really didn't like flaking out on people.

Noticing the time you quickly had breakfast and showered before dressing as you always did - baggy to hide your shape and size. You couldn't see how it was possible to look better in clothes that actually showed your figure but hoped Woo was right when he said Mingi knew his stuff when it came to clothes.

You were pretty much done when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You rushed over to open it and found Mingi on the other side, smiling brightly at you.

"Ready?" he asked, voice as deep as ever.

"No." Truthfully you were dreading it.

"Well we're still doing it so come on." Unceremoniously, he grabbed your wrist with his big hand and pulled you out the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming..." You laughed, "Just let me lock my door before we go."

********

"Y/N...are you ever going to come out?"

"I'm really not sure about this, Mingi."

You were standing in front of the full-length mirror in the changing room, uncomfortable with what was reflected back at you.

"I picked out the perfect outfits for you so I can't imagine what you're not sure of." The tall brunette said matter-of-factly.

"It's just so...tight."

"Exactly. It will show off your figure perfectly."

"Mingi!" You yelled as he suddenly whipped the dressing room curtain back.

"See? You look amazing."

You looked at him skeptically as he smiled widely, appreciating his work.

"You're lying."

Mingi's smile faded and he sighed. "Y/N, you're not seeing yourself clearly at all. You have a great figure...amazing curves." He added, looking you up and down.

"Mingi, are you checking me out?" You joked, "I'm going to have to watch you."

"What?" He said defensively, "You look good."

Embarrassment came over you as you were only joking so you didn't expect Mingi's response. He, however, was not embarrassed and continued on a little more seriously.

"I know you don't think so but it's true."

The change in atmosphere caught you off guard. You'd only ever seen Mingi in a playful mood so to see him turn serious and caring was different.

"Thank you, Mingi."

The brunette smiled in response and you could see that he meant it even if you had trouble believing it. You thanks were sincere, though, because, aside from Hongjoong, you weren't used to anyone offering praise to you.

"You definitely need to get this outfit. It's looks great and makes you look a lot smaller than those awful baggy clothes you wear. Next outfit!"

Mingi pulled the curtain shut while you reluctantly did as ordered and started changing in to the next set of clothes. In truth, though, part of you was excited and enjoying the shopping trip with Mingi. The confidence you once had was buried deep down but you knew it was still there and maybe this could help you find it again. You used to love all the attention you got from boys when you got dressed up and you wanted that feeling back. That was why you let Mingi talk you into getting all the clothes he'd picked out for you.

********

A low whistle sounded as you entered the boys' dorm with Mingi pushing you through the door as you'd felt too nervous to go in looking so different to usual. You had tried to turn and run away but Mingi was too big and strong.

You were in the first outfit he'd picked out for you which was a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a top cut lower than you were used to but not too revealing. You weren't used to the way the clothes hugged your curves and felt self-conscious because you were so used to hiding underneath baggy clothes but you could see what Mingi had been trying to tell you. You did look a lot better in fitted clothes than the shapeless ones you usually wore. You looked like a girl again.

You looked up to see that the whistle had come from Wooyoung, who was now appreciating your newly revealed figure.

"It's really nice," the darker-haired male said, "...Mingi, you chose well."

"Don't I always?" Mingi said in response, clearly proud of his work.

Just as you were trying to extract yourself from this new attention a sharp slap on your behind made you gasp and spin around.

"San!" You shreiked at the blonde, who didn't look the least bit sorry.

"Looking good, Y/N."

You really should've scolded him for smacking you but he always looked so cheeky and cute you couldn't really bring yourself to.

"Thanks, San...but don't do that again."

"Why not? In those jeans it looks too good not to." He said, motioning to your bum with both hands.

"She's not a piece of meat, San." Jongho said, annoyance lacing his tone. "And you can't just touch someone like that without their permission."

You and San both turned, neither of you having noticed the youngest's silent entrance.

San looked at Jongho with one eyebrow raised as if he wanted to say something snarky but instead turned to you and said,

'We're friends...it's fine, isn't it Y/N?"

"It's fine but I meant it when I said don't do it again - it really hurt." You gave San a look so he would know you meant it but you really didn't mind that much. You appreciated the sentiment, just didn't like the pain.

Jongho, on the other hand, was not convinced. He looked at San for a moment longer, huffed unhappily, then left the room.

It made you a little unhappy to see Jongho like that. He'd been a little weird lately. Distant. When you were at the gym together he was just the same as always but around the other boys he wasn't the same. He seemed sulky and spent more time in his room. What really hurt most was that he didn't talk to you as much in front of the others.

It's true that with them there, there wasn't as much chance to talk together but after your coffee 'date' he had made more effort to be closer to you - so what had changed now?

Thinking back you remembered the others teasing him and Hongjoong saying Jongho liked you. Could that be it? You didn't see how; what Hongjoong said couldn't have been true so you had just ignored it. At the gym it hadn't made it awkward between you but was that why Jongho was distancing himself around the others...to stop them from teasing him? Maybe you could try talking to him; he had become a really good friend to you and you didn't want a simple misunderstanding to get in the way of that.

The chance to talk to Jongho didn't come that evening as he had come back out of his room to eat with everyone but there were so many of you that it was impossible to talk alone. You could have gone somewhere private to talk but you didn't want to give Yeosang and Wooyoung even more reason to tease him.

Although you were still worrying about Jongho, you still had a great evening. It had made you a little self-conscious but you had to admit that you liked being told you looked good and feeling like your hard work was paying off.

Well...the evening was great until Mingi made a horrifying suggestion.

"Hey! Y/N has some really nice clothes now - courtesy of my incredible fashion sense, of course - so we should all go out and celebrate her hard work."

A communal groan was heard around the room at his less than modest statement but, for the most part, everyone agreed.

"What do you have in mind, Mingi?" Seonghwa enquired, ready to put a stop to any plans that sounded too crazy.

"Let's go to a club!" The excitement was clear on Mingi's face but anxiety was creeping on to yours.

"No." You said firmly as they all turned to you to see what you thought. "No clubs."

"What?

"Why not?"

San and Wooyoung complained in unison, obviously not happy with your opinion.

"Y/N..." Mingi looked at you with a pout, "we got you such nice clothes, why do you not want to show them off?"

You shifted on the couch, uncomfortably.

"It's nothing to do with the clothes...it's the people. Too many people. I just don't like clubs."

"Well," Hongjoong interjected, "strictly speaking it's not the clubs you dislike. I remember you used to love going out and dancing so if we chose a club that's less crowded then you should be okay."

You shot your supposed best friend a look of betrayal.

"Then we should do that!" Mingi cried, excitement flaring up again.

"Please Y/N?" San pouted at you.

"Don't worry about all the other people; we'll all be there to look after you."

Wooyoung added on and with all three of them looking at you with such hope, you found yourself giving in again.

"Fine...but I'm not going to enjoy it." You declared sulkily, slumping back into the couch cushions while the three boys cheered. You didn't miss Hongjoong quietly looking pleased with himself for his latest victory in 'getting you out there again'.

He was right, though you hated to admit it, you did used to love dancing but over the years your enjoyment of clubs diminished along with your confidence. Your dislike of them now was based on the assumption that people would judge you. Laugh at you for getting dressed up and trying to look nice when really you were just a fat mess. Laugh at you trying to dance. You had never been what anyone would call graceful - clumsiness and a poor sense of balance making that impossible. You didn't used to care about that but with no self-confidence you started to focus on every bad aspect of yourself.

While you were inside your own head worrying about all this, the others were busy making plans.

"Y/N!" Wooyoung called out, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said I know just the right club for you. It's got great music but it's a little more expensive so all the kids go elsewhere. It's never uncomfortably packed and doesn't get as rowdy."

You nodded and smiled but it had done little to relax you. Honestly you missed the old days you used to go out dancing confidently. When you looked in the mirror and thought you looked nice and didn't worry about if other people agreed or not. Now that you'd agreed, all you could do was make the best of it. You knew the eight boys would look after you and you'd never not enjoyed a night with them. Maybe it would be fun.

********

Club night came and you were feeling strangely calm about it. A little nervous but mostly excited to spend another night with the best eight friends you'd ever had.

They had all arrived at your apartment unannounced - Mingi citing his concerns about what clothes you would chose, as if only he knew how to put an outfit together. He said he'd have to approve your outfit before he could let you out; you merely answered him with a roll of your eyes and let him get on with it.

Rather than falling back into your old habit of hiding yourself in baggy clothes, you had actually decided to go for it in terms of dressing up - after all, if you were going out, you might as well make the effort. It had also occurred to you that maybe people were more likely to look at you if you looked out of place, one person in shapeless, baggy clothes in a whole club full of well-dressed people.

Mingi looked you up and down, appraising your outfit. You had chosen a short(ish) black skirt and a sparkly top which showed a nice amount of cleavage but not too much. You'd even broken out your push-up bra for added effect. The outfit was finished with a pair of black heels because if there was one thing you knew, it was that heels made your legs look slimmer. You'd even done the kind of make up you used to with eyeliner and subtle false eyelashes. Why not go all out? you thought; you'd forgotten how nice it felt to get dressed up.

Mingi smiled and gave you the nod so you were good to go. Hongjoong, knowing you would be nervous, made sure to tell you how good he thought you looked and the others all agreed in their own ways. Seonghwa, Yunho and Yeosang nodding in quiet agreement while Mingi, San and Wooyoung were more vocal about it. The only one who didn't say anything was Jongho - publicly, at least. It was only when the others were out of earshot that he quietly came closer,

"You look really nice tonight."

The blonde boy you'd grown so close to looked quite awkward but you still assumed it was because he didn't want the other boys to tease him again. Why else would he wait until the others couldn't hear him.

"Thank you, Jongho." You replied, feeling as awkward as he looked. "You look really good, yourself."

You looked at Jongho, dressed in black jeans and a dark blue button up shirt with his dark blonde hair parted to show his forehead, making his beautiful dark eyes looking bigger than usual because they were more on show. He looked amazing. He was so handsome it almost hurt.

You felt more awkward with Jongho's compliment...maybe because it meant more to you. You'd had a sneaking suspicion for the last few weeks that you were starting to like him as more than a friend but you'd tried to ignore it because you couldn't imagine it going anywhere. You'd witnessed him get angry when the others teased him about liking you and the only logical reason for that was that the thought of liking you was an unwelcome one.

It was true that Joong had said Jongho liked you but you were sure he was mistaken because of the distance he was keeping from you as well as his general moodiness recently. None of it mattered anyway because, as far as you could see, there was such a vast difference between Jongho and yourself that he couldn't possibly like you.

At best you were ordinary, nothing special at all but Jongho...he was ethereal. His smile was so cute that you couldn't help but smile back when you saw it and his eyes shone so brightly. Yet despite the cuteness he still had a maturity some of the older boys didn't. He was so strong, too and, to be honest, you found that really, really hot.

It wasn't just how he looked, though, Jongho was a wonderful person. He was clever and funny and he'd given you so much help and asked nothing in return. What would someone like that want with someone like you?

********

Clubs were as hot, sweaty and loud as you remembered. It had been some time since you'd gone to one - preferring to hide away at home than go out and be surrounded by people. That's depression's survival instinct...to cut you off from the world so you won't seek help. To keep you away from friends who could help you. Thank goodness for Hongjoong because he wasn't letting you get away with that and without him you'd still be hiding away. Miserable. Clubs might not be the most comfortable place for you due to the overcrowding but you knew that you'd be ok with Hongjoong by your side - as well as the other seven boys you'd now come to think of as 'yours'.

Maybe it was the fun of being out with them all but you'd found it easier than you'd thought to relax and enjoy yourself. You'd even managed to keep away from thoughts that anyone looking at you was judging you...until you noticed a guy at the bar had been looking for a bit too long. You were waiting for the bartender to get your drink and hoping he would do it more quickly so you could get back to the others but luck was not on your side and the guy started to approach.

"Hi."

You looked at the guy for a second. Tall, fairly good looking and he seemed friendly from his tone as he greeted you but you felt a little panicked, nonetheless.

"Umm...Hi." You managed nervously.

He smiled, "You looked really good dancing just now."

You waited for the smirk or laugh to reveal he was being sarcastic but it didn't come. You hadn't yet got to a place where you trusted people meant what they said but when nothing else was said and he appeared to have meant it you quickly thanked him. You'd left a longer gap than was normal before replying and now your worry was that he thought you were slow-witted.

"Are you with all those guys over there?"

"Yeah...they're my friends." You told him, glancing over and smiling.

"You're not going out with any of them?" He pressed on.

"No, we're just friends." You said, shaking your head.

"Ah. Well one of them is really glaring at me right now. I'd say he doesn't like me talking to you."

You looked in the same direction as the guy and, sure enough, saw Jongho looking very much less than friendly.

"Oh, we're quite close so he's probably just worrying about me. You are a stranger, after all." An awkward laugh left you - small talk was not your forte.

The man smiled back and looked about to say something more but the bartender finally returned with your drink.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." You said as you started backing away. You really wanted to be back with your boys; you were still far too socially inept to be in this kind of situation without back up.

"What did that guy want?" Jongho demanded as soon as you were back.

"Dunno...just being friendly, I guess."

The dark blonde scoffed while San jumped in to tease, "Ooh, Y/N's on the pull!"

"Don't be ridiculous, San!" You squealed in horror.

"I'm just saying..." the blonde continued, "...guys don't approach women in clubs because they want to be 'friends'." He emphasised that last word so you'd have no problem undersanding what he meant.

"I'm getting another drink." Jongho grunted before stalking off in the direction of the bar. You sighed. He still didn't seem himself.

"I'm sure he was just being nice." You said naively. It wasn't that you didn't know what men were usually after in clubs but you honestly didn't imagine anyone wanting that from you.

"Suuure he was." A deep voice cut in.

"Don't you start, Mingi!" Your new fashion adviser laughed as you scolded him. "All of you manage to be friends with me without wanting anything more so why can't he?"

Smiling smugly, you felt you'd won the argument until the tall brunette leaned in closer,

"We're all still men, though. I might be your friend but if you asked, I'd fuck you right now and I'm pretty sure one or two of the other guys would, too."

The only way to describe the look on your face was dumbfounded. That was absolutely not something you would've expected to hear from any of them.

"Whatever, I'm going to dance again."

It can't have been possible for you to look any more flustered as you headed back to the others on the dance floor, with Mingi's deep chuckle following behing you.

As the night wore on you really were enjoying yourself much more than you expected but that could have a lot to do with the amount of alcohol you had consumed so far. You were even relaxed to the point that you didn't notice the guy from the bar dancing next to you, getting closer and closer. Soon he was dancing with you but you didn't mind too much as long as he didn't start getting touchy. The attention was nice, at least. You vaguely thought back to what San had said and sighed internally because you didn't want him to have been right but you had to acknowledge it now. Maybe between Jongho's training and Mingi's outfits, they really had managed to make you look alright.

But men were disappointingly typical and, not long after getting close, the guy started to get handsy. You barely had time to turn around and tell him to stop before you felt his hands disappear suddenly. When you had turned you saw said man looking confused - and slightly pained - as one of his wrists was being held aloft by a very pissed off looking Jongho.

The guy looked at Jongho cautiously before saying, "Hey, I'm sorry man...I didn't realise she was your girl."

You could see why the guy was looking worried - Jongho looked pretty scary and you wondered just how tightly he was gripping the man's wrist.

Jongho let go but didn't stop glaring and the man backed away a little.

"She's not but don't you think you should still ask her before you start feeling her up?"

"Sorry...I didn't mean any harm." The guy answered, looking between Jongho's hard face and your quite confused one before walking away quickly. You turned back to Jongho; you really appreciated him looking out for you but couldn't understand why he was so angry.

"Jongho...what -"

"You shouldn't let random guys touch you like that, Y/N!"

You stared at him for a few seconds, a bit stunned until his sharp tone set off your own anger at being chided like that.

"I was turning around to stop him but, to be honest, it's not really any of your business who I let touch me!"

Jongho's eyes widened a little, taken aback by your reaction. You'd always had a temper but none of the boys except Hongjoong had ever seen you get angry. They only knew your milder, more timid side and the quickness in which you turned had taken them all by surprise. In your peripheral vision you could see the rest of them watching the exchange between the two of you.

The dark blonde collected himself and continued with a slightly less angry tone.

"These guys aren't good enough for you. It's just like San said, they only want one thing."

From the corner of your eye you saw San bristle slightly as if he really didn't want to be brought into this now.

"That's my decision to make, though, isn't it Jongho?" You hadn't softened much towards him - now you were free you didn't need another man telling you what to do.

"I know, I'm sorry..." He continued, more softly now, "...but you shouldn't be with guys like that."

"And you know exactly who I should be with?" You asked, sarcasm in your tone. "By all means tell me because I can't see men lining up to date me."

"Me."

"What?"

"You should be with me. I really like you, Y/N."

You stood in silence, trying to make sense of what he just said. Your mind recalled all the things you had previously dismissed as nonsense. Hongjoong telling you outright that Jongho liked you. Yeosang and Wooyoung teasing him about you. Had it not just been baseless teasing? He actually liked you?

Of course he doesn't like you. Who would want you?

"You don't like me." You said shaking your head. You didn't want to believe it because you couldn't trust it.

"I do. Let me show you." Jongho took a step closer and out of habit you fliched away from the closeness.

"What are you doing?" Slight alarm laced your tone.

"I'm going to kiss you." His tone added the silent 'of course'.

You froze at the words and Jongho noticed. It was out of surprise but he must've thought you didn't want him to as he started to look unsure of himself.

"If you don't want me to, all you have to do is say."

He paused, waiting for a 'no' that was never going to come. As much as you feared this was all some elaborate joke, you really did want this.

Hearing no protests, Jongho lifted his hands and placed them gently on the sides of your neck, his thumbs resting on your cheeks. Slowly he leaned down and pulled you closer. As you closed your eyes you prayed this was real and you weren't going to hear them all burst into laughter at any minute but before your fears could be realised, you felt Jongho's lips touch yours.

They were softer than you had imagined - and you had imagined it - and for someone so strong, he was remarkably gently. You could feel that he was being cautious as he didn't try to deepen the kiss, he just pulled back ever so slightly then reconnected, his lips moving softly against yours. When he did pull back to end the kiss, you kept your eyes closed a moment longer, not wanting it to end.

When you did open them you looked up at Jongho to find him looking back at you. He was searching your face for any sign that that wasn't what you had wanted and after a few moments he was satisfied he could see nothing and gave you a small, somewhat shy smile. Obviously having heard something behind him over the music, his smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of annoyance. Following where he looked you saw the seven other boys all looking at the two of you with varied emotions on their faces, ranging fron happiness and surprise to approval. They had all known he liked you while you had stubbornly refused to see it - even when you were told outright.

Jongho turned back to you with a softer look, "You wanna go somewhere quieter - away from everyone else?"

"Yeah...that'd be nice."

Jongho took your hand in his larger one and led you out of the club. He had touched you before, of course, but only when correcting your stance during workouts. This felt different. It made your heard beat faster and gave you butterflies..

You briefly looked behind you to the others, noting that they looked slightly disappointed that you were both going but they'd get over it.

You and Jongho ended up back in the same coffee shop that first time. It was late, though, so you had the whole place to yourselves. Despite that being the first time you had properly talked alone with him, this was much more nerve-wracking. This wasn't a situation you'd have thought would ever happen. Despite what had just happened in the club you still couldn't let go of your fear. It was as instinctive reaction for you now, to just assume the worst about everything and everybody no matter how good they seemed to be. Just like right now you were quite aware that the both of you had been drinking - had that played a part for him? Would he have kissed you if he hadn't been? And would he think it was a mistake tomorrow?

The butterflies flew around wildly as the dark blonde boy made his way back to the table with the drinks. As he placed the tray down on the table you saw he had also bought a slice of red velvet cake like last time and he smiled as he placed it down. You wondered if he was trying to recreate it that first 'date' of sorts. It had felt special to you - maybe he had felt the same.

Your thoughts were flying as wildly as the butterflies in your stomach, going from hopeful that Jongho really did like you to fear that he was going to say it was just because he had been drinking and he'd got carried away.

Sitting there you'd realised the full extent of your feelings for Jongho...did he feel the same? The look in his eyes was soft as he looked at you and smiled. God, you hoped this meant what you wanted it to. Either way, it looked like you were about to find out as he opened his mouth to speak...

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez jongho #ateez x female reader #ateez choi jongho #atzinc #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #choi jongho

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atlas-tries · 5 years ago

Text

Shatter Me

A Patton angst fic by yours truly

Read on AO3

Summary: All the sides have secrets, but none have one as lethal as the one Patton is keeping. Can he keep it under wraps long enough to resolve it or will the trauma of it all spell his undoing?

Hey guys, so this has been a long time in the making (aka since January). But I finally got this finished and I’m very proud of how it turned out. This was all based on a simple headcanon I had about how Patton experiences emotional pain. I hope you enjoy it, and the next chapter will be out next Monday! Check the notes for definitive links to the next chapter.

Chapter 1: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Hurt Far More Deeply

At some point or another, all the sides had kept secrets from each other.

Mostly, it had to do with where they had been in the past or something silly, like the time Roman “accidentally” ate all of Logan’s Crofters. The others still kept some, likely to make a well-placed or dramatic reveal of it, and Patton was no different. He himself occasionally had physical manifestations of emotional pain. However, there was one thing he knew that wasn’t a secret.

Patton knew how they all really felt about him.

Sentimental.

Overbearing.

Naive.

Worthless.

Even if they rarely said any of those descriptors out loud or in his presence, the unspoken words came through loud and clear every time they thought he would mess something up. Which was in almost every video he appeared in. They thought he didn’t notice the dismissive remarks or the eye rolls whenever he had any ideas to share when Thomas had an issue that needed working through. It’s just ol’ Patton spouting off whatever random thoughts and/or dad jokes pop up in his head like always.

For the most part, Patton could handle whatever emotional turmoil they threw at him. He knew that despite what they thought, they still cared about him and valued his opinions. The occasional pain was worth it if they were happy. And they were, especially after Thomas had introduced them to his online community of Fanders (the part that made him the happiest). Even Patton himself had been ecstatic to reach out to so many other kiddos out there. At least, he was until they had gotten in front of the camera.

Yeah, his jokes didn’t land with the others, it wasn’t a big deal. That was no different than telling them in the Mindscape on most days. However, he really wanted to do that four-part harmony when Roman suggested it, even after they immediately shot it down when he came in. But Patton could shake that off, too. He was strong. So, imagine his surprise when he discovered short, thin cracks radiating from over his heart when he was changing into his cat onesie that evening. “Oh,” he said, running his hand delicately over them, “That must’ve gotten to me a little more than I thought.” No matter, though, they always went away within a few days.

Everything went back to relative normal in short order and Patton was back to being a happy pappy. The next few videos came and went without much fanfare. He was even featured by himself to help Thomas with his adultery! There was nothing better than that. The cracks didn’t return until just before they started planning out The Mind vs. The Heart.

That morning, Patton had been making breakfast for everyone as he almost always did. This morning was especially pleasant for him because Thomas had actually listened to Patton yesterday when he suggested he go and pet all the puppies in the pet store on the way home. Having that thought at the forefront made it easy to softly sing to himself as the bacon sizzled. Roman was already eating his as fast as he could fancifully manage.

“Roman, I know my food is good, but please don’t choke up on your swallow through,” Patton said with a smile, taking the last batch of bacon out of the pan and putting it on a plate. Roman just nodded and kept doing exactly what he was doing. “Say, you didn’t happen to see Logan when you came down, did you?” Patton was getting a little worried about Logan. It was early, yes, but the logical side always made his appearance long before now.

“Haben’t sheen ‘im thish morning,” Roman said with a mouthful of pancake.

Patton hummed, set his and Logan’s plates on the table, and grabbed some forks. He sat down at the table, picking at the eggs a little. He would feel better about eating when Logan came. As if on cue, soft squeaks came from the staircase. “Huh, speak of the devil,” Roman mumbled. Patton immediately perked up.

“Good morning, Logan!” Patton shouted. Logan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and covered his ears.

“Too loud, Pat,” Logan grumbled, making his way slowly to the table.

Patton softly replied, “Sorry. I made breakfast.” He couldn’t help but notice the dark circles beneath Logan’s eyes as he approached; they were almost dark enough to rival Anxiety’s. Patton was very much hoping that Roman wouldn’t notice, if only to preserve the peace (and the rest of his good mood, but Patton didn’t want that to be the focus).

“Thank you.” Logan sat and went straight for the coffee, downing half of it in only a few seconds. So far, so good. “Ugh, aren’t I a little old for cat-shaped pancakes, Patton?”

Patton shook his head with a smile. “You’re never too old to have a Patton paw-ncake!” he said cheerily, batting a pawed hand in the air for emphasis.

“Wow, looks like someone’s been to the dark sides this morning. Can we get a bag check on Logan’s eyes?” said Roman, going for another mouthful of bacon.

Logan wasn’t amused. “I’m sorry some of us have to work overtime to make Thomas make the right decisions,” he spat. “Sometimes it’s like I’m the only adult here.” Patton felt that familiar pain ghost across his chest.

“Ex-cuse me, how dare you say such a thing, and when Padre was nice enough to make you breakfast! And anyways, you are NOT the only one who has to pull late nights, Snide and Prejudiced,” Roman countered.

Patton said, “It’s fine, Roman, ple—”

“Really?” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Because it seems to me like you only keep Thomas up at ungodly hours fantasizing about the things you want.”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“As the most important side, no, I don’t.”

“Oh well ex-cuuuuuuse me, Mr. President—”

From there it devolved into them shouting over each other. Roman slung eggs and syrup everywhere while wildly gesticulating. Logan kept smacking the table trying to make his points. Chocolate milk was going everywhere. They had never been so tense with each other.

“Um, kiddos?” Patton said. Neither of them heard him in the midst of their shouting match. “Kiddos?” he said a little louder, reaching out toward them. “Maybe if we just—”

“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, PATTON!” both of them yelled. Patton recoiled. Another crack split painfully across his chest. Both of them went back to screaming at each other. He couldn’t stand to see them like this, even if they were hurting him in the process. What else could he do but meet them at their level?

Patton stood abruptly and slammed his hands down on the table. “That’s ENOUGH, both of you!” he scolded. They instantly hushed, flustered and in awe that Patton could even raise his voice. He took a breath and calmly continued, “Roman, I appreciate you defending me like the noble Prince you are, but it’s okay. We know that Logan isn’t the only one that works the graveyard shift, but we shouldn’t make fun of the sides that do when they’re not in their best shape. And Logan, I know you’re tired, but—”

“Yes, from trying to mitigate the effects you had on Thomas yesterday,” Logan interrupted. “We almost adopted one of those puppies when we have neither the resources nor the time to look after one. And who was the one who had to convince him that it was a bad idea? Me!”

Even though Patton wasn’t sorry about that in the slightest, he still apologized. “You did the right thing, Logan. Why don’t you go back to bed for a little while? You’ve earned it,” Patton said. “I’ll even keep your breakfast warm for you.”

Logan nodded and left wordlessly, taking the coffee mug with him back up the stairs. With him gone, Patton looked to Roman. “You owe him an apology, mister,” said Patton.

“What? Me? He was the one being snippier than an Edward Scissorhands wannabe!” Roman cried.

“Well, you didn’t help that, now did you? But he also owes you an apology, too.” That garnered a little “oh” from the Prince. Patton sighed and took Logan’s plate to the oven, turning it on to the lowest setting.

“You know we would’ve worked it out on our own eventually, right?” Roman said. “This is just what we do.”

“I know,” Patton responded. “I think … I should start cleaning up. There’s chocolate milk everywhere.”

Roman nodded. “Okay, Padre. Is there … something I can help with, at least?” He got up and handed his mostly empty plate to Patton.

“Thanks, but I can handle it,” Patton said softly, voice barely above a whisper. He felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at the Prince.

“You shouldn’t worry about us so much. We’ll be fine. And, uh, I promise I’ll make it up to the Grinch up there,” said Roman with a small smile.

We don’t need you smothering us.

Great! Now Patton’s thoughts were going to take it upon themselves to put translations after the other’s words! Patton tried to return a smile despite the pain in his chest growing. It must’ve convinced him because Roman, with a final pat on his shoulder, turned and left. As soon as Roman was completely out of sight, Patton rubbed at the cracks to try and soothe their aching. It never worked, but it made him feel a little less like a sad dad. Oh well. At least they’d disappear soon enough.

Or not.

A few days after Losing Motivation came out, Patton had once again busied himself in the kitchen, this time baking chocolate chip cookies while humming along to the Disney showtunes that Roman had playing in the living room. No doubt Thomas would have them stuck in his head by the end of the day. Not that it was a problem in Patton’s mind; the music really helped him ignore the constant throbbing pain that those ugly fractures left on his chest. Better to have Disney showtunes on the brain than a recent ex-boyfriend, right?

The oven timer let out a short ding! at the start of the chorus to Prince Ali. “Oh cookie, where would I be if you weren’t hooooot,” Patton sang over the lyrics. He danced over to the oven while putting on heart-patterned oven mitts. “So full of sweets from eating way more than I ouuuuggghhht. To.” He took the finished cookies out of the oven and twirled around to the music, kicking the door closed and sliding the baking sheet onto the stove in one smooth motion.

Patton made quick work of getting them off the baking sheet and onto a plate. “Cookies are ready!” he shouted. Quick, thundering steps met his cry and in seconds, Roman was in the kitchen juggling three.

“Don’t mind if I do, Pat,” said Roman. Fear never deterred Roman, not even when in the face of third degree mouth burns from oven-fresh cookies. Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of his son for being so brave (even if another part of him was terrified of Roman getting hurt). “Hanksh,” he said with a mouthful of molten cookie, pretending that it wasn’t actually too hot but still doing the hashafashafa thing to cool it down while he ate.

“You’re welcome, son,” Patton replied. He looked at the cookies and remembered why he was making them in the first place. Ever since Anxiety had made himself known, Patton had been trying to reach out to him. Sure, he was dark and broody and sometimes the others had a little trouble seeing how important his contributions were, but he wasn’t the villain that they made him out to be. Anxiety deserved to feel welcome, and that was something Patton would always advocate for.

He set a few of the cookies on another plate for the rest of the sides (and himself) and poured a glass of milk. “Anxiety’s gonna love this!” He picked the cookies and milk up and danced them out of the kitchen, making sure to pass by Logan on the way. Not that it was hard, he was almost always studying at the dining room table. “Hey Logan, do you wanna eat a cookie?” Patton sung to the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

Logan glanced up from his book. “I would prefer not to as I am attempting to set a good example for Thomas by abstaining from sugar,” Logan responded.

“Ah. Well, more for me and Anxiety, then!” said Patton. “If you change your mind, there are some more in the kitchen.”

Logan put the book down and said, “Hold on, are you telling me you’re still intent on making friends with him?”

“Well, yeah, what’s so bad about that?” Patton asked.

“I can’t believe I have to explain this to you again. Anxiety has no place with us, Patton, and it’s time that you stop pandering to him. There’s a very good reason why he lives with … them, and not us.”

The little fissures began slowly spreading. Patton was getting good at keeping it under wraps. And under shirts. “Now Logan, just because he’s a little different from us doesn’t mean that he has bad intentions. Sure, he started out in a bad place, but who’s to say that he can’t grow out of that? Sometimes, people just need a push in the right direction to shine. Bright like a diamond~,” Patton sang the last part, which earned him a groan. “I promise, if I felt fishy about any of this, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

“Why would you feel like a fish? Do fish even feel?” Logan said, genuinely perplexed.

Patton sighed. “Gosh, words can be tough. What I mean is that I don’t feel bad about reaching out to Anxiety, not when he’s been reaching out to us in his own way. I don’t get the feeling that he means us harm.”

“But you have to admit that when it comes to character judgement, you can be too forgiving,” Logan said.

“… Is that a bad thing?” Patton quietly replied, wincing a little as the cracks splintered further.

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Patton, are you feeling alright?” he asked.

Oh, no.

“Of … course I am!” Patton said. “I’m Morality, why wouldn’t I be feeling?”

Logan grunted and adjusted his glasses. “Let me rephrase that. Patton, moments ago, you clearly indicated you were in pain. Am I interpreting this cue correctly?”

“Um …” Patton stalled. Maybe it was time to tell someone about this; it wasn’t like he could keep hiding it forever. With a sigh, he replied, “Yeah.” Oh no no no no, he couldn’t do this.

Logan stood there silently for a few moments before realizing that no explanation was going to come out of him without prompting. “Would you care to explain what’s causing it? I can perform first aid if necessary,” he said, stepping toward Patton.

Patton backed away and put his hands up. “I’m alright, really. It’s just … a little heartburn is all. You know me, not waiting until the cookies are cool to start munchin’! It should go away soon,” he replied. He couldn’t describe how badly he wanted to get out from under Logan’s scrutiny.

“If that’s all, then, here,” Logan conjured some Tums, “please take two of these.” He offered the bottle to Patton, who took it with a smile.

“Thank you, Logan, where would we be without you?” said Patton. He took some out of the bottle and made a show of chewing them up. Even if he didn’t really need them, he wanted to be sure that Logan felt listened to.

“What is that on your neck?” Logan asked, gesturing on himself where he thought he saw something.

“Hmm?” Patton felt around in that general area, squeaking softly when he felt a small but deep fracture across his skin. How did he not notice that before? Quick, Patton, think of something! “It’s uh … it’s chocolate!”

Logan’s eyes narrowed again. “Chocolate?”

Patton smiled. “Yeeeaahhhh, I must’ve gotten chocolate on myself when I was making these cookies. Silly me,” he lied, waving a dismissive hand. Well, it wasn’t totally a lie; he did still have some chocolate on his hands.

That seemed to sate the logical side. “Very well then, be sure to wash that off. And I know that no matter what I say, you’re still going to take your cookies to Anxiety. Just, please be careful around him, no matter how he makes you feel. We do still need you to help keep Thomas functioning normally,” said Logan.

“Thank you, Logan, I appreciate that. I promise I’ll be careful,” Patton said with a smile. Logan gave him a curt nod and went back to his studies. Some of the pain subsided with that last comment, which Patton was very grateful for. If it had been anywhere near what it was before, he couldn’t have done what he had set out to do without cuing Anxiety on to his problems. With as much of a smile as he could muster, Patton picked up the cookies and milk and headed down to Anxiety’s room. Thankfully, Logan didn’t notice him adjusting his cardigan along the way.

Patton always thought it was odd that the doorway to the darker side of Thomas’s mind would be inside the broom closet at the end of the hall. In another way, it made a lot of sense when he thought about it a little harder. Anything he wanted hidden would be stowed in here for safe keeping until he was ready to confront it. Plus, it made an excellent visual pun that made Patton giggle every once in a while. He opened the door, carefully balancing the plate on his arm.

“Let’s see, last time I made two rights, a left at the weird eyeball painting that stares at you, another right, then a left, and it’s the last door on the left,” Patton mumbled to himself as he walked through the dark side’s labyrinthine corridors. “Please let there be no spiders this time.”

In between the first two rights, a yellow-gloved hand slithered its way around the edge of the corner in front of Patton, making him stop dead in his tracks. No no no, not now! “Well well well, if it isn’t Morality,” Deceit stepped out in front of Patton, “have you finally decided to join us AND bring us cookies? I know we would all be devastated if you did.” His ever-present smirk seemed even more delighted than normal.

“Um, no. I’m just bringing Anxiety some cookies like I’ve been doing for a while now. You know that,” Patton replied. This definitely wasn’t making him uneasy.

“Indeed I do, and I also know something else.” Deceit strode forward until he was uncomfortably close. “You’ve been hiding something I find to be … most exquisite. If you keep that up, you’re liable to put me out of a job. Tell me, how long do you think you can play my game but keep me away from the field? Or even better,” he slowly circled Patton, eyes ever trained on him, “how long do you think you can keep their prying eyes away from your little secret?” He gently touched the center of Patton’s chest, which made him hiss and nearly drop the cookies and milk.

Patton had to take a moment to catch his breath. “I refuse to … make this their problem,” he gasped. He could’ve sworn he saw a few glowing drops of his essence through his shirt where Deceit’s finger had been.

“Oh, of course you don’t. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that one. They’re obviously trying to hurt you by saying and doing all of these little things and telling them this would only make them want to do it more,” Deceit said, coming to stop in front of Patton.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to look out for me in your … own way and I appreciate it, but please, Dee … I can’t tell them this. It would break them even more than it’s breaking me— and I won’t have it.”

Deceit’s smile faded. “You don’t want to listen to reason? Fine. But I leave you with this,” he shook a finger and slowly began sinking out, “what would hurt them more: the others finding out about this now or the others finding out about this when you’re in itty. Bitty. Pieces?” His last words echoed through the empty halls, chilling Patton to his core.

He knew Deceit was right, in his own roundabout way. That was one of his greatest assets: he was a brilliant analyst despite his airs, one that could keenly rival Logan’s perceptive inclinations. It was also what Patton dreaded about him. He couldn’t hide anything from Deceit, not that there was much he could do to hide all the cracks given how many there were.

“No!” Patton said to himself. This wasn’t the time for getting absorbed in thoughts! This was supposed to be bonding-with-his-precious-anxious-baby time, gosh darn it, and he was not going to waste any more time thinking about all the things that were hurting him! Putting on his best determined dad face, Patton quickly marched toward Anxiety’s room.

Before he could get too far, though, he saw Anxiety’s familiar, brooding figure lurking through the halls. He perked up almost imperceptibly when he saw Patton coming. “Oh, there you are. Not like I was worried about you being late or anything,” he said, fiddling with his hoodie strings.

Patton just smiled, relieved that Anxiety hadn’t noticed the little, slightly glowing stains on the front of his shirt. “Of course not. Shall we?” he replied. Anxiety nodded.

The two shared a nice, albeit short, time in Anxiety’s room talking through everything they could. Anxiety’s particular favorite seemed to be picking through Disney movies (or really any movie) to find all of the dark origins or morbid underlying themes they held. While Patton liked being able to spend time with Anxiety, the combination of being in his room for longer than around half an hour and the negative talk were lying heavily on his chest. Still, he never let it show that those cracks were slowly spider-webbing across his skin.

By the end of the day, every step was a Herculean task for Patton. He barely made it back to his room without stumbling. Still, there was one last thing to be done: survey the damage he had accrued. He trudged into the bathroom and grasped the sink with shaking arms, head hanging heavily. “Alright, head up on three, Patton. One, two, three,” he said, letting go of the sink and looking up in the mirror. Despite his weathered appearance, not much could be seen with his shirt still on aside from two small fractures that forked up either side of his neck. The few that had made it past his sleeves were so thin that he didn’t even notice them at first. Patton sighed. He really didn’t want to look at the epicenter of the damage. “Right after this, you can go to bed,” he bartered with his reflection. He gently lifted the hem of his shirt up and nearly fainted from what he saw.

The cracks at the center of Patton’s chest had turned more into chasms where his skin had chipped away like broken porcelain. His essence shone through, now a raging blue storm that threatened to break through the invisible barrier where his skin should be. From there, the light bled through into the smaller fissures that spanned his entire torso, front and back. He knew it was bad, but it had never been to this extent. He gently touched the edge of the center break and accidentally dipped his finger into the blue fluid. The tears he had repressed welled up in his eyes, spurred on by a jolt of raw emotion. Patton quickly wiped the fluid off onto his pants. The tears no longer had any driving force behind them.

“Oh Patton, you’ve got to remember not to do that,” he once again told his reflection. He had forgotten how much emotional sway his essence had when he touched it. Patton knew he couldn’t keep the happy act up like this. So, what else could he do but make himself as scarce as possible until it healed at least a little bit?

And that’s exactly what he did.

#atlas writes #patton angst #sanders sides angst #patton sanders #long post #this first chapter is a little more than 4000 words #which honestly that's just a tiny chunk in comparison to what i have written #shatter me #shatter me story

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years ago

Text

Worst joke yet // J x Lilith x Pat.

Summary: Self-loathing is creeping in and making itself known. You feel sick, heavy. Disgusting. Your feelings are real and valid and important and they carry as much weight as something tangible and real. J and Pat love jokes and anecdotes as much as you, but there’s one topic which they do not find funny; and that’s the topic of your self-perception.

A/N: Darling, I am so, so sorry. You are so beautiful, inside and out. I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened and everything that you’ve ever gone through. You’re so strong and so brave and I just know that J, Pat, Loki, Eric and Heath love you so, so much and they’re so very proud of you, just as I am.

Unedited because I saw your post and I had to do something. My heart’s bleeding for you. I love you.

Word count: 2, 470. (Don’t you dare tell me off or feel guilty; you deserve all of this and more).

You woke up feeling like you hadn’t slept at all.

You felt heavy, weighed down by your own existence. Most days was it just your mind which you had troubles dealing with; traumas, pains, worries, fears, anxieties, doubts, mental illnesses... all these and more threatened to poison you against yourself each and every day, and though you struggled silently, you still lived. You still exerted an extreme effort to get through every day as best as you could and though you never felt like it was enough for anyone, including yourself, you still fell into bed for brief naps at various points of the day knowing that you had tried.

Sometimes was it more than enough to just try. Sometimes was trying the bravest, most selfless thing you could do. You could admit to yourself that you weren’t trying for you, but rather were you trying for your two greatest loves: Patrick Verona and J. You lived every single day for them, your daily goal was to make them proud of you. You knew, somewhere deep within yourself, that you never had to try to make them proud of you, that they simply and most naturally were just because you were you, but even still did you push yourself, to do more and to be more. You could also admit, even to yourself, that you never felt like you were enough.

But today... oh, today you had woken up hating your body. Your entire body was just... too much. You lay under the bedsheets, intensely aware of the material against your bare legs. Even laying down you just felt so heavy. You were so painfully aware of every single part of you which was resting against the mattress. Ugh, you felt so disgusting and awful. Inside your head did you murmur an apology to J and to Pat... why did they put up with you? You couldn’t even offer them your body as compensation for who you were, hell, even for who you weren’t. You just weren’t ever enough no matter how hard you tried; no one was ever satisfied with you, least of all you, and your body was supposed to be the highlight of your existence, the very best of you...

And you couldn’t even do that.

You felt the sting of tears in your eyes and you sighed, rolled over and burrowed your face into Pat’s section of your pillow. There were two pillows; yours and J’s. Pat never used his and it often got chucked to the end of the bed at night; so close to the both of you did Pat lay that his head rested on your pillow and on J’s. The scents of apples, of stale cigarette smoke, of cheap but spicy cologne, of Pat, and then of gasoline, gunpowder, greasepaint and of an undertone of sweat, of J, all came together into one heady scent and you pushed your face into the crease where the two pillows met so that you could feel both of your loves all at the same time.

Oh, how desperately you wanted them with you. You knew not where either of them were. Of course they’re gone when I need them most, you thought bitterly. You felt so badly within yourself that you couldn’t bring yourself to even let yourself think of your loves. What was the point? There was nothing good about you, physically or mentally. So, then why -

“Well, good morn-ing, beautiful.” You almost jumped as J spoke from the doorway, his head tilted at such an angle that his ear was almost touching his shoulder as he walked over to you with careful, measured steps. As he reached you, a hand came to brush errant strands of dark hair away from your face, “And you are... beautiful.”

“Hi, J.” You smiled as best as you could for J, you did, but he squinted at you, disbelieving. So well did he know you that he knew even without you saying anything that you weren’t okay, that you needed him. You rolled closer to J, wanting more of all of him, and J grunted as his hand curved to the shape of your cheek, his gloved finger stroking soothingly. His movements were as calculated as his steps had been, making a concerted effort to be gentle to you. If only he knew that he already was gentle with you; he had some innate softness, especially when it came to you. It was so special just how deeply he loved you and Pat.

“What’s bitin’ ya, doll? Ya’ just woke up. C’mon, scooch over, and - Minty!” J got underneath the duvet with you as he called for Pat, making sure to not be too loud, his arms immediately encircling your waist. You sighed, both wanting to move away from J’s touch and wanting to sink into it, and almost as soon as he had been called, the younger man came barreling into the room, dark curls flying. He had been waiting. For you. Pat would always be there for you when you needed him, no matter what.

“What? What’d I miss? Ah - hey, sleeping beauty.” Pat winked at you and you smiled, you smiled, feeling some of that heaviness leave you soul as you took in Pat’s echoing smile. J growled lightly; pleased was he that you had actually smiled. It meant that you weren’t too far down the rabbit hole of your own mind.

“We got a, uh - situation with our hyena. She’s not, ah - not good.”

Immediately did Pat’s bright eyes hone in on you, a look of tender love and understanding in his eyes. “What is it, love?” As he spoke did he make his way over to the bed, climbing in on the other side of you so that you were safely and perfectly cushioned between your two greatest loves. Their fingers were interlocked over your waist, Pat’s leg between yours and J’s chest firmly pressed to your back. All of Pat was aligned to your front and all of J was aligned to your back. You were sandwiched in the best way between your koala and your clown.

Pat tipped his head so that he could press a firm, loving kiss to the very centre of your forehead, right between your eyebrows, and J mumbled something as he kissed the back of your head, leaning forward slightly so that he could nuzzle his face into your neck, his full lips pressing open mouthed kisses to the skin there. There was nothing sexual in this, but it was reassuring; J was telling you that he was there with you, that he was right beside you, that he wasn’t going anywhere. And though he didn’t say those three words, spoken too little and yet not enough, you knew, you knew what J was saying to you.

“Talk to us, babydoll. Tell daddy what’s wrong, hm?”

“I hate myself.” Those three words, like venom, dripped off the end of your tongue and shocked both Pat and J.

Pat inhaled sharply and mumbled a truly heartbroken “no” as he started to slowly pepper your face with kisses, and J’s fingers tightened on your skin as he growled lowly. “That is a ba-ad joke, Lilith.” The way J drew out the word immediately told you that he knew how serious this was.

You shook your head, feeling the sting of tears in your eyes both at the gentleness from Pat and the roughness from J; so similar yet so contrasting were they. “I’m not joking.” Your tears fell hot and fast down your face but they never poured further down your cheeks than the end of your nose, so attentive and so efficient was Pat at catching those tears. “I mean it. I hate everything. I hate my voice... it’s not pretty like other girls. My gross stomach, ugh I just want to use your knife and cut it all off.” Insecurity after insecurity poured from your lips and your boys listened in silence, their bodies too still against yours, their faces too composed. “And I’m not even anything special, my hair is such a bad colour and I just - “

“Enough.” J growled the word through almost gritted teeth as he moved so that he was kneeling beside you on the bed. Pat remained closed with you, pressing kiss after kiss after kiss to your face, his lips replacing those salty tear streaks with marks of real love. “Look, listen, - “ J reached down and patted the top of your head, his gloved fingers smoothing your hair away from your face, “It ain’t easy having what you have and doing what ya’ do. And to top it all off, your body - “ his eyes moved appreciatively over your body, a gleam in his dark eyes which you had seen many a time since you had become involved with him, “gets ya through it all. Ya’ don’t gotta eat less, that’s stupid. Ya’ll just feel worse. Ya’ gotta eat, doll, so enjoy one of life’s many pleasures, hm? And - the makeup? Babydoll, you. are. beautiful. You don’t need that on ya face. Unless you want to.” J shrugged easily, “Telling ya’ to diet, too, is also stupid. Your body is clever, hm? It knows what it needs and when... so give it what it wants. Don’t deny yourself anything. Your body is yours and you’re mine - so take care of you. All of you.” J began to click his ‘T’s towards the end of his speech, truly angered was he by the way you were talking about yourself, even though he didn’t understand why. He cared nothing for physical appearance and he didn’t see why you did, either, but he would be there for you. It was the least he could do.

While J was making his point, kneeling on the bed beside you, almost looming over you - he needed to see your face, he needed to see that you understood - Pat was still pressing kisses to your face, your neck... anywhere and everywhere he could reach did Pat leave kisses. As Pat continued to kiss you, J laid back down beside you, the moment of Absolute Attention acquired, and bit off his gloves one by one, peeling them off and leaving his hands bare. Fingers splayed so that he could touch as much of you as he could in one go did J’s hands travel up and down your body like the well known, beloved terrain that it was, fingers squeezing your thighs, rubbing at your stomach; avoiding, of course, all those areas you didn’t want to be touched, couldn’t be touched for reasons better left unsaid. He loved on you with just his hands, appreciating, while Pat whispered compliments which contradicted every negative thing you had just said.

“You’re beautiful, Lilith.” A kiss to the centre of your forehead. “Intelligent.” A kiss to your right temple. “Funny.” A kiss to your right cheek. “Compassionate.” A kiss to the right corner of your mouth. You tilted your face to the side, wanting, but Pat was determined to finish making his own point, outspoken was he. “Generous.” A kiss to your left temple. “Hardworking.” A kiss to your left cheek. “Kind.” A kiss to the tip of your nose. “Stubborn - not a bad thing, you know. Sometimes it’s important to stick to your truth.” A kiss to the left corner of your mouth. “Ours.” Finally, finally, did Pat claim your lips with his in a fiery kiss which left your head spinning, unable to think of your own name were you.

J’s hands finally stilled on your body but he didn’t let you go. J would never let you go, especially if he knew that you were feeling the way that you were. “My turn.” As Pat pulled away, J’s hand slid gracefully up your arm, fitted to the curve of your shoulder and then up, skipping your neck entirely before he cupped your chin in one hand and turned you around to face him completely so that he could kiss you, your toes curling into the duvet.

As he pulled away, the tip of his painted nose brushing against yours, J said, “Stop tearin’ yourself down, would ya? Life’s much easier when ya’ on your own side, Lil.”

You weren’t entirely convinced and you did still feel bad, but you trusted J and Pat. They’d never lie to you, not ever.

“We love you, Lilith.” Pat glared playfully at J when the older man grunted and rolled his eyes. “You’ve never disappointed me and I’ve never not been proud of you, and I know it’s the same for that grumpy man over there.” His smirk was positively dazzling and though J grumbled and burrowed into your back, J let it slide. This wasn’t about him, this was about you and you needed the both of them so badly. “Don’t ever let anyone, ever, make you feel like you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself, about your body. You are... wow.”

J scoffed at Pat’s lack of articulation but you all knew what he meant.

“Thank you, Peppermint.” You kissed him tenderly, affectionately, and you felt Pat smile against your lips, your own curving upwards in response. “And you -” You reached a hand back, fingers sliding into slightly greasy hair. You’d get him into the shower later, no matter what he said, “Thank you.” J’s arms only tightened around you.

“We got’cha. You’re not something we put up with or something to deal with or any of that other stuff ya’ thinkin’. You’re you and you have us because of that.” His inflexions suggested offense, insulted was he by the way you were insulting yourself.

“I’m sorry.” Despite J’s words, you were feeling that way, and J shushed you roughly, the harsh sound almost drowned out Pat’s coo of love and of understanding. You hadn’t said much, not really, and though they had listened to what you said, they responded to what you hadn’t, so emotionally intuitive were they and so intimately did they know you.

You weren’t okay, and you wouldn’t be for a while, but that was okay. For the hyena had her koala and her clown, and that was the way it was always meant to be. The three of you were soulmates, for better or for worse, and through it all would you stand tall with each other, safe in the knowledge that you were enough just because you were you. You were safe, in this moment, safe and protected and loved. You were always, always enough, for the simple fact that you were you. And you, dearest Lilith, are beautiful inside and out in every single way.

#heath ledger #heath ledger imagine #ledger!joker #ledger!joker imagine #patrick verona #patrick verona imagine #10 things i hate about you #10 things i hate about you imagine

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soulgime-blog · 4 years ago

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I get so tired of the words.. “but you are normal.” and “you might slightly have Aspergers or autism.” or just down right straight to the point of this.. “It is a spectrum.. but you only have a small portion of it.”

I’m tired of the words.. “well we never had labels back in our day..” or “it’s just a label!” to even.. “but you should focus on yourself.”

I’m so tired of having to.. ‘prove’ myself or get yelled at simply because I don’t understand, I can’t hear/process things correctly, I have trouble understanding emotion, others emotions, I struggle even taking care of myself and have since I was born.. but in the end my parents see nothing that’s wrong with me, my grandmother thinks I’m fine, my mom thinks I just need medication..

My therapist doesn’t want to focus on my struggles, he just wants to focus on my anxiety and depression. He even let me make goals, and they were mostly to figure this out. But how can I figure something out if they can’t see the full picture and I struggle writing on paper to reflect my feelings or words?

I’m apparently so good at talking that when I go.. “uh..” and “um..” or even not able to speak or say what I want.. I end up saying something entirely different or I say nothing and try to move on.

I dread going through grass, as my skin crawls even though I can see everything below me like bugs and the feeling of grass unsettling me that I get out of it as fast as possible. But one time my friend ignored it and I walked as fast as I could out of the grass. I have to wear sunglasses outside and have started too but when I don’t.. it gives me a headache and makes me squint along with sweat. I’ve had this since I was a kid and now. I hated socks, always did. Especially the lint getting into my toes. I would then just wear no socks or wear sandals or just go straight barefoot. I now go straight barefoot and even in cold weather then I will wear my slides. I even hate tight clothing. Always have. Better yet.. I avoid these things so much like the plague. It’s not even funny.

I have such bad anxiety that when I even have 2 sodas..? My heart palpitations really fast, and I start to get nervous or my hands sweat/feel like I might die or pass out.

I had trauma in my life to the point that I can’t even sleep normally, my brain can’t even shut down because I’m either replaying the day.. or I straight up just can’t sleep because I’m afraid to have nightmares of my trauma.

I can’t even enjoy music anymore. Because I go off into my own world, and do that when things become overwhelming, when I can’t follow into a routine, see something that I longingly yearn to have me dream about with myself but either remodeled or just me. It even happens out of nowhere that my mind either screams for music or I can’t sleep unless I feed my mind the dreams before sleeping. It gets so involved with my personal life.

I quite literally fidget with anything that I can get my hands on or even chew on things. I’ve practically gritted my teeth that some of them have been indented. I play with my rings to help me cope, to have something to focus on while working, or get out emotion when I can’t stim at that moment.

I’m tired of being upgraded that I can do this and this and then people have excuses for what this might be. “It’s laziness!” to “procrastination.”

But when I try to voice my opinions, it’s invalid or doesn’t make sense or I should just shut up. I always apparently make things such a big deal that when it’s important.. that big deal means nothing to them.

It’s funny because I remember standing on my toes a lot as a kid but when I got older.. my operated foot couldn’t handle it anymore so I had to stay flat foot, and when I took wii fitnesses stuff. My balance was always off because I would be using my toes/front of my foot to much. I remember crying because I didn’t like certain foods but had to eat them anyway and eventually I just stopped giving opinions on it and ate them anyway. But would be tired after a while of doing physical activities, not only because I was out of shape.. but because there was always a lot going on.

I sleep straight forward, arms to my side like I’m about to be going own on a board all flattened out. I used to organize things by color/still do, but now I get anxiety if it’s not perfect or how I want it to be.

My therapist says that my movements are okay for my emotions.. he even encourages them. However.. he doesn’t seem to get the point that I also use these to express myself, to understand my emotions.. however not all the time do I know what emotions they are. They can be linked with any. Like hand flapping? I typically do that when I’m happy, but I do it sometimes differently for something else.. I also twist when listening to music as I daydream while standing or sitting. I rock when I focus but it can also mean anxiety or other things.

Another thing I like to talk about is.. if there’s to much noise, my mind has a hard time processing or hearing what people say. I also have a hard time writing things down or finishing them or even trying to continue. My brain can also go out the window suddenly. But when it comes down to anything.. I can text, I can read things or hear something if it’s not to loud or I’m not heading forty different things.

Yap. Not autism or anything else except depression and anxiety. Yap.. let’s just give me pills for those and I’ll be on my way and not know anything else to help me.

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lightcreators · 5 years ago

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@sunsbreath

Every time than Tanjirō Kamado would leave for a mission, he would take attention to leave a good last memory before couple of hours / days / weeks separated them --- a good meal, a couple of unexpected advice, a charming smile exposing the gentleness he owned inside, a caring gesture that could be unnoticed…Lelouch would remained then into the spot when he could seeing him go. Internally, he might regret to not having a further active position --- to contenting himself to be that mysterious though dangerous presence in the background. Eventually, at some point, when Tanjirō would know enough about him for be reassured about his potentiality of survival….he would bring that temptation on, not doing in the front line in the battle but doing more interesting things. Oh, there was already a lie under that thought: he had been planned it since a long while how it look like. His mind needed to ease emotional distress hence he written among various probabilities of battle coming from the stories he hear enough decorated screenplay for be convincing: the right time wasn’t just yet there. The same place in which Tanjirō who have leaved would be looked at the next days, approximately into the same hour at the morning, when gentleness selfish emotions would be frontally exposed under his features. It was, coming from his perspective, purely self-centered to considering Tanjirō-kun as a son --- he would sadistically murdering in the worst of manner anyone who dared touched to him or causing him harm for the simplest desire to bring him pain ; he would gladly passing twenty hours a day close to his presence meanwhile accepting his privacy and be certain he was the main cause of his happiness ; he would without hesitation doing anything for him…while be emotionally aware he wasn’t his biological father and cannot pretend any kind of attachment movement towards the Demon Slayer position. Still, regardless of how internally he was considering the context, how attached he was shown everywhere.

Especially when he was leaving. Thankful to his custom to dwell about how emotionally selfish he was into the loving bond he had, instead of focusing too much at the dangers he might cross at the moment he was self-reflective, Lelouch enjoyed these moments for appeasing his mind. It was into these instants when he understood a little harder that loneliness sentiment into the absence --- emotion he had been familiar with during large portions of his life for be himself surprising to discovering another depths…meanwhile be accepted into the softness he will have to get used to it. Preferring to remain unnoticed when he withdraw from his house comfort for going outside, he was looking for news, hear people talks with innocence, add his presence into games play. His chessboard approach would have get the chance to metamorphosing with others occasions --- after all, the go, though not as popular as it was, was a perfect matching-perspective for thinking about advice concerning demons battles and the shogi flattered his crafty performances. The rest of his time was passed to hiding himself into some hobby manufacturing of kimonos and anything that could give the elegance of the day without admitting that he was the creator. He documented himself by trying to overcome at certain times to have revolutionary ideas --- hence was forcing himself to remain calm every time something politic was mentioned. More than one time, walking in the street and feeling lightly bored, his veins of revolutionaries wanted to reveal themselves to change a few things that bothered him… but since he wanted to remain discreet, whenever he felt bored in this sense, he tried to enter into communication to convince…no one would need to know unless some great powers revisited their plans a few months later that he had been the cause of the spark…

It was in the culinary moments than Lelouch betraying himself the most for not having to deal frontally with his emotions --- in the middle of increased his skills for offering better meals to his kid, he ate what he liked when he wasn't there to think about him... while undeniably looking for a higher quality to bring to the dishes who transformed him into an apprentice starred chef cooking to forget his emotional pain. It often amused him that his inability to sit around doing nothing for two seconds so as not to remember his anxiety pushed him to the extreme. After all, was he not the entirely extremist man who generated great resources starting from a little good attention, promptly summarizing his existence ?

The softness of the sun on his face reminded him that a new day must have passed. His gaze glimpsed the place of departure in a certain inability to remember the period of departure --- everything became distorted, amplified in his constant fear for him that the time itself became too long --- in which his purple gaze found sudden reassurance. How naturally happiness reached his features to witnessed the human shape of his son giving him another physical desire to welcoming him --- at least, he wouldn’t have to wondering how to pass twenty hours today with his own thoughts…however a frown reached soon enough his face into his returning self-reflective thoughts: did he saw correctly than Tanjirō was limping? Two general questions were paused at some point when he was returning: How are you? Tell me what happened? Overall, Lelouch disliked in most part the answers, aware he cannot awaiting himself to received good news into them as a fairytale. Lelouch also disliked his own abilities to seeking the forgotten elements into the story, how sometimes Tanjirō didn’t told him the whole truth as he was scared of the consequences for the culprits --- which wasn’t false --- along the various details into his features. He was taking the responsibility blow than no one, even Tanjirō, asking him to take. Lelouch could even be even critical with himself: it was physically impossible for emotionally ask him to be remain peaceful if some stuff who happened suddenly made him want to murder someone…which made it attractive to run away from inner desires in a good meal to leave that part of his personality silent. Which would have chance to happen today --- regardless of the smaller hints he would have. Emotion soon overcome and appeasing themselves under the scent of a reunited home between each other. Lelouch himself would continue to impress himself of what affections towards his youngest had effect on him.

Amethyst gaze crossed fiery fire one in the smoothness exposed into half-contemplation one. How natural his position choice coming from his home had been presented was a sign than indeed he had been welcomed --- though he would quiet he was waiting for him every time he was leaving. Lelouch could have talked the moment he hear his name into the realization he had been waiting, however preferred spared them until some seconds later appropriate later would come. Gentleness of a smile pictured as he could feel some of his worries fated away replaced into the excitement and future self-control to have concerning how it had been, watching over his little sister protected into the box --- oh, he will take great care of her too, her who was fated to appreciating the darkness as lifestyle and protected during the day of the powerful danger of the light….as he would be sure his big brother would have no complain to make unless concerning some parental moves under his care. How proud he was to feeling as a dad appeared accidentally in the middle of his thoughts as he was catching up off-guard as the same time by the apology and a gift presence --- as much he loved showing his pride into unexpected moments and learn to not answering indignity with difficulties, since day one, Lelouch vi Britannia wasn’t used to someone giving him an positive recognition or be nice with him. By definition, at the core, as the greatest liar with himself he was and as the most selfless person he was in his soul --- he wasn’t a good person therefore understood reproaches on his person.

❝ Tanjirō-kun, welcome back. ❞ Lelouch introduced firstly before smiling with oblivious embarrassment towards his last words, watching that leg who was limping instead before returning his gaze under his face. ❝ --- why did you apology? ❞ Did something happened worth apology for? Should I preparing myself not to be pleased another time? As his thoughts reacted, another acceptance it was about his emotional worried state push to ignore it….better accepting it without bring comfort. On that part, he would always be worried for his well-being. Finally, he blinked to the last words he hear. ❝ --- you…uh…you have think of me while you were away? ❞ Where the last time did he received a gift without concerning his sister or his dearest immortal witch? He couldn’t remember. ❝ I am honored….come, you will show me and explain your adventure. ❞

#sunsbreath #ic :: lelouch vi britannia #lelouch and tanjiro tbt.#lelouch claiming to be a father is the best thing that can happen #long post //#verse tbt.#( answered. )

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wayfront4 · 4 years ago

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7 Soft Skills You Required To Achieve Occupation Development.

5 Ways To Get Fit In 3 Months │ Benenden Health And Wellness.

#toc background: #f9f9f9;border: 1px solid #aaa;display: table;margin-bottom: 1em;padding: 1em;width: 350px; .toctitle font-weight: 700;text-align: center;

Content

Why My Personal Trainer Is Worth It.

Why Is It Essential For An Individual Trainer To Collaborate With Clients To Agree With Objectives And Also Goals?

Five Means Fitness

Just How To Come To Be A Fitness Tutor (2020 Update).

Choosing The Right Personal Trainer.

Layout Your Own Program.

Level 3 Personal Trainer Diploma.

See listed below for an annotated work summary from Sports Direct, one of our corporate companions, and also what an interviewer may ask you pertaining to the advert. When it involves including muscle to your framework, you need to ensure you're giving your body a lot of time to rest between stamina training sessions. Doing the same amount of workout day after day can hinder healing and also cause you to shed muscle in time.

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Can I get in shape in 3 months?

If you're serious about getting fit, choose an exercise you really enjoy and carve out the time for a regular workout. Stick to it for three months and you'll reap the rewards, be full of energy and feeling great.

Most of all, your early questions to a customer are to guarantee their safety and security. Think about the info you need to know prior to planning a fitness program. Connection building is one of the most important component to being a wonderful personal trainer. Customers just buy from individuals they like, as well as who they feel engaged with. Just as, don't claim that you intend to use this work to develop skills in order to have a desire job with a straight competitor.

This implies they should be experienced, thoughtful as well as responsible with ambiguity in the workplace. While it is certainly a valuable ability to closely follow comprehensive instruction, it is also necessary to be able to establish what it requires to accomplish the desired end result. Finding work/life balance is important to maintain motivation in your task.

Why My Individual Trainer Is Worth It.

I just wore a polo shirt and blue jeans, I was offered a job withinin half an hour of the interview. This is vital info, so you understand what to anticipate after you leave of the interview area door. If a 2nd meeting is pointed out, make certain you recognize when you must listen to back by.

As alluring as it may be to distinguish yourself from other candidates, do not tell a hinge on your meeting that could come back to haunt you if you get the work. Whether it's knowing just how to utilize a certain software application or experience with a social network's ad system, a lie could harm you if the truth appears later on. You have restricted time in your meeting to make a great impression, so utilize the moment you have to speak eloquently and thoughtfully. Self-confidence is a big part of preparedness, as well as the duty you're interviewing for will certainly most likely need you to be decisive and also positive so you can obtain things done. So don't say you fidget-- it will probably make youmorenervous, as well as it will not do you any kind of favors with your recruiter, either.

If this is true for you, make sure to show this to the job interviewer in your story. Tell the recruiter about exactly how stress or tension can motivate you to really buckle down, focus, and work vigilantly to obtain projects done. To provide a good solution to this question, you ought to supply instances of exactly how you have actually dealt with anxiety in the past as well as just how it's made you a much more effective worker. Recruiters ask concerns similar to this since they need to know just how pressure impacts you as well as what you do to manage it.

Speak to clients at active times on reception to completely involve with them. Offer cost-free suggestions and check up on gym-member that appear to be battling. It is additionally music to an interviewer's ears if you state that you want to go on a sales/marketing program to improve these skills if you are not solid on these areas. Much like taking notice of your responses and way of speaking, paying attention to your body language and also disposition can bring wonderful benefits.

Even the most flexible people can have trouble dealing with others that have certain characteristics or personality traits. Having good team effort skills likewise implies having a solid recognition of just how you deal with others as well as ways you can readjust your technique to far better offer the company. An occupation in the fitness sector can be what you make from it, yet it makes sure to be enjoyable, flexible as well as fulfilling regardless of where you work or who for. Whether you like functioning outdoors, inside, a team setup or solo, there are a variety of settings within the fitness industry to fit.

Why Is It Important For A Personal Trainer To Work With Clients To Agree With Objectives And Also Goals?

You ought to not overlook medical recommendations, or delay looking for medical suggestions, due to something you review in this website. If this is an obstacle for you, focus on getting little exercises in throughout the day. If your work takes the majority of your time, think about taking 3-10 minute breaks and also stroll at moderate intensity, where you damage a little sweat as well as are somewhat short of breath. Taking these breaks are not only great for physical health, but also for mental health. This indicates that your body has actually come to be made use of to the task you have actually been doing to drop weight.

5 Method Fitness

If you truly want to see results reflected on the range and also remain to make development with time, you require to dedicate to working out at the very least four to 5 days weekly. This is especially so if the quantity of time you're placing in doesn't compare with your objectives. Linda Le Phan is the Senior Material Advertising and marketing Manager atkununu United States, a location where work hunters can obtain an authentic view of life at a business and also where employers have a relied on platform to much better involve ability. When she's not developing material regarding the modern-day workplace, firm culture, and also life & work hacks, she is most likely heading out to get an iced coffee, raiding the treat cabinet, or obstructing to kununu's Spotify playlist.

they line up well what you shared on your resume, as well as shows preparedness in case a recruiter does not have a copy. Whether you're interviewing to flip hamburgers or run a country, turn up dressed to excite. While a fit is no more the only way to dress well for meetings, it is still a great go-to in most circumstances. To be lean muscle gainer , ask the firm before the day of your meeting what their dress code is or do a bit of research study on your own regarding proper meeting clothes for various scenarios. At the end of the day, however, It's always, always better to overdress than underdress.

Just because you think of a prepared a specific response does not automatically indicate the answer is the best one. You do not intend to be captured by shock by a concern and also do not have a decent answer. If you lack experience, researched points so at least you can discuss the topic.

If you aren't contacted by then, be sure to ring up and also ask why you weren't successful and also how you can boost your possibilities for next time. This is an excellent question to ask to gage your working problems and also to see how your toughness would certainly profit the business. It will additionally make the company restate your formerly pointed out toughness, which will stick to them through the employing process. Constantly seek the guidance of your medical professional or various other qualified health care supplier. Constantly consult your health care service provider prior to starting any type of new treatment, or if you have any kind of inquiries regarding a health problem.

Prior to you leave the meeting, deal to give the recruiter with any kind of extra details they need to make their choice. Added details can include a list of recommendations, a copy of your profile or a duplicate of instructional and also expert certifications. " Many thanks so much for your time, I truly delighted in finding out more regarding you as well as the firm." " My greatest weak point is public talking, something I haven't had several opportunities to do in my existing function, so I'm hoping to expand on those skills dealing with a bigger group at this firm."

Is Personal Training Profitable?

If you learn how to sell and grow a big business, you can usually make up to $25–35/hour in those situations. So, if you aren't good at marketing and sales, it's not profitable. If you ARE good, and you're a good trainer, you can make as much as you want with the right clients.

The most remarkable prospects regulate their need to fill up every area with impulsive answers as well as hesitant "um" s and also "uh" s. When asked a question, take a moment to think through your response or identify an appropriate story and after that start talking. The pause is great as well as it also reveals your capability to be tranquil as well as made up.

If they do smoke, ask if they 'd fit sharing how many cigarettes per-day they smoke. Obviously, you ought to constantly encourage your client to give up cigarette smoking for their health, yet this can be a turn-off to some clients, so choose meticulously just how much you wish to harp on this. Rest can have a significant influence on achieving fitness results, so you'll need to know just how much sleep your client enters a normal evening in order to help them.

Our bodies are clever machines and also come to be really efficient gradually when the exact same activity is executed. Weight lifters should do reps per muscle of their selection, and the weight made use of differs based upon your fitness degree. You are much less likely to utilize amateur language throughout an interview when you decrease, take your time to consider your action as well as concentrate on talking plainly. You can additionally prevent using filler words by practicing changing them with a quick time out or deep breath.

Individuals picking an as soon as a week routine will certainly require to carry out work on their own as well as can not anticipate to reduce weight without technique.

If you are comfortable with your regular and feel as though you do not require even more training, an as soon as a week training may suffice for you.

These sessions are normally shared with two to 4 other individuals working together under a similar program.

Lots of people that select to deal with a trainer will certainly select an as soon as a week meeting.

If we think about the function of education and learning, accreditation and also certification, we recognize it as a means of quality control.

Various other people value the organized atmosphere that having a personal trainer produces as well as pick to train with them forever.

For instance, you may assume you need to meet your trainer 5 days a week to lose twenty pounds, for an extensive duration, yet in truth, a couple of sessions weekly for a month or more is possibly adequate.

Commonly, people that select this kind of training currently understand just how to make use of the equipment effectively and also understand how to exercise properly.

The length of time with your individual trainer will depend upon a number of various variables.

Several fitness professionals pick the sector to avoid a desk-based work and also have the capability to move as well as remain on their feet. With the rise of the health as well as wellness trend in Australia over current years, fitness is at the leading edge of more Australian minds and service is surely thriving as well as readied to remain to follow this pattern for fairly some time. If you're considering a career in fitness, the bright side is your future can be loaded with excitement, adaptability and financial rewards with a lot of chances to expand as well as establish an effective occupation. Help work hunters learn more about the firm by being objective and also to the point.

How To End Up Being A Fitness Tutor (2020 Update).

Free Courses & Certifications Take courses on the most recent company trends, instructed by sector professionals. Client Assistance Get help if you have questions about utilizing HubSpot software application. If you can be made up as well as offer examples of how you take care of anxiety, you're practically assured to provide an effective response. Do not state that you don't function well in difficult circumstances or mention a time when you could not do your work effectively since you were burnt out.

Do excessive, as well as you take the chance of overtraining and also shedding your hard-earned muscle. On the other hand, if you do not up the strength as well as put the moment in, your muscle gains will be minimal.

If you're not getting muscle as rapidly as you like, you could be dealing with the feared plateau. When you educate the exact same body parts with the exact same exercises as well as amount of weight over an extended time period, there's a good chance your body will certainly quit responding. Finding the right equilibrium of cardio exercise as well as strength training is key when it pertains to placing on lean muscle.

Obtain our complimentary digital book guide of example responses as well as professional interview suggestions emailed to you now. For example, if you have a client who wishes to lose 50 extra pounds yet operates at an inactive desk work for 10 hours per day, after that you're mosting likely to require to amp-up those exercises to make certain maximum calorie and also fat melt. On the various other hand, a client who works as a building employee is already getting more exercise throughout the day, to make sure that ought to be thought about when identifying the best fitness plan. An additional way of life information that you should find out about your customer is whether or not they're a cigarette smoker.

Your recruiter has actually listened to every one of these in guide, so do not try to fool them into believing your "greatest weak point" is anything but an unique ability on your resume. It's alright to not recognize the response to an inquiry, but don't leave it at that!

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Attempt to make the inquiries look unrehearsed as this will produce a far better impression of you. You require to show a little of character as well as your story in order to make your response credible.

Selecting The Right Personal Trainer.

Check out on the internet fitness publications so you positively know what hot trends are arising. The fitness world stays one that is rooted greatly in trends and, yes, fads. Whether cardio kickboxing or bootcamp training is the warm thing, studios require to satisfy customer demands or they likely go somewhere else. Not all fitness workshops accommodate people that desire hardcore workouts. Neither is every fitness center wanting to educate individuals who aren't thrilled concerning working out also hard.

How Can You Become An Individual Trainer In Just 6 Weeks?

Providing a response such as this could make the recruiter believe that you won't connect to your employer, also if there's a trouble you require aid with. As an example, if component of the work summary is servicing multiple jobs at once, claiming that you have anxiety attack when you have to handle numerous tasks at the same time is an excellent way to make on your own look poor. Do your best to stay clear of stating that you were emphasized by a scenario that you'll on a regular basis run into at the work you're interviewing for.

Exactly how to Respond to" What Is Easy Fit Personal Training " With Example Responses The blog offers the information required to plan for an interview where the general meeting concern "What is your biggest accomplishment? can be asked. If this is the weakness you are presenting in a meeting, discuss the success you have actually located adhering to instructions yet additionally your occupation capacity when locating convenience with uncertainty. You ought to also explain the steps you are taking to define your day when given ambiguous tasks or goals. Lots of tasks need candidates who are comfortable individually defining tasks and working in the direction of objectives.

When you have actually safeguarded a position, consider making use of company administration software application to track clients, courses showed, etc . Ask for a trial of our All-In-One Fitness Service Management Software today.

Speak to the other personal trainer straight and listen to their sight. Recognize factors of contract and dispute and also prevent routing blame. A recruiter will want to find out about something that actually tested you here. You could have had to find out a brand-new modern technology, or overcome challenging issues in a tough amount of time-- it has to do with exactly how you approach adversity as well as how you conquered it.

She likewise has greater than 15 years of experience training as well as advising supervisors at organizations from American Express to the City of New York City. This candidate has some wonderful teaching fellowship and also part-time experience, but she's a new university grad and doesn't have any type of permanent placements to discuss. She has a great deal of self-confidence and has the ability to concisely sum up how she satisfies the position's leading needs. This solution is a little bit basic as well as can probably be more reinforced with instances.

Personal Trainer Work Summary: What You'Ll Do.

Make sure your solution acknowledges a space in your understanding in a way that still provides you authority. easyfitpersonaltraining.co.uk can provide a solution like, "It's challenging to hit goals when leadership top priorities are constantly changing," but honestly, we don't advise claiming anything that could be regarded as an individual minor. If you're mosting likely to toot your own horn, see to it you have some data or evidence to back it up. Any person can claim they excelled in a previous function, yet numbers or instances will make you attract attention to your interviewer.

Where do most personal trainers work?

Personal trainers typically work in gyms and health clubs. They are self-employed and can also open their own fitness studios. Personal trainers can get creative and work almost anywhere.

While it is definitely respectable and also reveals a solid work principles to spend your energy and time on job, it is also necessary to focus on resting, taking place trip, spending quality time with your family and also taking pleasure in hobbies. Doing so can assist you really feel rejuvenated when you go to work and can raise inspiration, creativity and sustain a favorable expectation.

For optimal results, a workout program should consist of cardiovascular as well as stamina training workout. This permits you to raise your metabolism and melt calories at a greater price, also when you're not working out. How much weight you lose depends upon the quantity of workout you want to dedicate to and also exactly how carefully you stay with your diet regimen.

Design Your Own Program.

A lot of grownups require in between 6 and also 8 hrs per evening to function at their top; if your client isn't getting adequate rest, your very first examination may need to include discussing some methods to improve sleep. Your customer requires to comprehend that the hours they'll invest in the gym won't indicate much if they're not looking after themselves in your home. Run those responses by individuals you trust such as a customer or fellow trainer.

Level 3 Personal Trainer Diploma.

Personable responses that respond honestly will constantly trump reading from a manuscript. Nevertheless, if you were nervous concerning any one of the questions you could obtain, try out a couple of these methods. If there was one thing to look out for, it would be time restraints. You can not bring all of your clients to the table, so select your ideal ones, and also make certain you can talk about them in detail if questioned.

How many personal trainer sessions do I need?

Fitness Goals For example, you may think you need to meet with your trainer five days a week to lose twenty pounds, for an extended period, but in reality, two to three sessions per week for a month or two is probably sufficient.

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years ago

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Little Talks

from the friends in dark places au

pairing: remile, background logince, background moxiety

summary: remy andersen may be a stubborn, rude, leather-jacket wearing prick, but... nope, that’s it. that’s all he is.

WARNINGS: angsty mutual pining, teasing, flirting with someone else’s boyfriend (in a teasing manner), self hate, internalized enbyphobia, internalized transphobia, internalized queerphobia, doubting one’s sexuality, anxiety, trying to change for a crush, physical violence, transphobic slur, fighting, broken/bloody nose, small fight scene, doubtfulness, lots of swearing, mentions of wanting to die, manhandling, harassment, making out, kissing, flirting, being flustered, bets, possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy and, by request for remile, @notalwaysthevillian

a/n: jsyk, it’s totally okay to ask for a modified chapter if you need it or if i need to add tags! i get it, and it’s no problem for me to quick edit a chapter or whatever :) also, feel free to send requests or questions that you have!

first of main plot - companions

consider buying me a coffee (please)

Remy dramatically flopped onto the bench at Logan’s table with an equally dramatic huff.

“Remus, why have you suddenly decided to… grace us with your presence?” Logan deadpanned.

“Lo, sweetheart, can’t I just sit with my cousin and his lovely friends every once in a while?”

“No,” Logan said. “You cannot because there is never a time that you interact with me if it isn’t for a favor or to insult me.”

Remy gasped, glancing at the other patrons of the table. The emo one looked confused and borderline terrified, and Remy would feel bad if his problems weren’t more important. “Can y’all believe what he’s saying? I’m hurt, truly.”

“Just say whatever it is that you want to so that we may go back to eating our meals in peace.”

“Fine. I need help wooin’ this absolute doll of a girl, and--”

“Hold up,” Roman interrupted. “I thought you were gay.”

If Remy had rolled his eyes any harder, he might have strained a muscle. “Ro, honey, I’d have to be deader’n dirt if I wasn’t attracted to Emile freaking Picani. Ain’t no sexuality that can trump utter beauty.”

or maybe he wasn't gay maybe he was straight or pan or maybe he only liked emile because sometimes she wanted to use he/him pronouns--

“Okay, fair.”

“So,” Logan started, tilting his head the tiniest bit. “Why’d you come to me for romance advice, of all people?”

“Because you caught yourself a cutie--” Remy winked at Roman over his sunglasses-- “so you’ve obviously got some sort of game.”

Logan blushed slightly. “You do know about the whole fight thing, right?”

Remy rolled his eyes again. “Sugar, I’m not as much of a dumbass as you. I can navigate around any dumb advice you give me.”

“Rem—“

“Please, Logan,” Remy pleaded, gripping his cousin’s shoulders. He hated to have to stoop to begging, but he felt so desperate. “You can’t imagine how badly I want Emile to see me as a worthy partner.”

“Remy, kiddo, you’ve gotta breathe, okay?” Patton coaxed from across the table. “You’re going to work yourself into a panic if you don’t take it easy.”

And Remy knew that it wasn’t a big deal, but he couldn’t shake his doubts.

“I just… Emile is a livin’ blessing, and I’m the equivalent of milk left out on a hot, sunny day. I ain’t got a chance with ‘er if I can’t get a fairy godmother to bippity-boppity-boo me into a respectable young man.”

The emo kid slightly raised his hand, making eye contact with his lunch. “Uh, who’s Emile?”

“Oh my goodness gracious!” Remy exclaimed. “I can’t believe you don’t know who Emile Picani is. She is just the sweetest; let me tell you. She absolutely adores cartoons, and she loves helping others--I swear, that girl is gonna fix the whole world someday. She--oops, they must’ve changed headbands during lunch. They’re right over there. The cutie with the gorgeous brown hair and blue headband.” A dreamy sigh escaped him as he pushed his sunglasses into his hair. “They look good in every outfit they wear, on my honor! They’re wearin’ this Steven Universe skater skirt today, and it shows off their legs in a way that’s got me half a step away from fainting. Honest to god, I can’t believe that they’re still single. They’re absolute perfection.”

“I don’t… You just…” The emo boy trailed off, unable to find his words. “You seem really in love with them. I just don’t see why you think that you don’t have a chance.”

Remy frowned, turning to face the others. “Well, every time they see me walking in their general direction, they turn tail and run the opposite direction like I’m some sorta demon that’s comin’ to reap their soul. On the off chance that they hadn’t fled by the time I can get a word in, they always seem like they’d rather be eatin’ soap. It became real obvious, real fast that they ain’t into me in any way, shape, or form.”

“Well,” Patton said, staring somewhere behind Remy. “They’re coming over right now.”

“What? Shit--”

“Hey, guys!” Emile greeted in their sweet, gentle voice as they walked up to the table. Everyone turned to look at them, save for Remy. “Can I borrow Remy for a bit?”

Remy put on his sweetest, fakest smile and finally looked at Emile. “‘Course, hon. You wanna go somewhere else?”

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks.” Emile began to walk toward the hall, and Remy quickly got up to follow. He took one last glance toward the table and caught Roman winking at him. God bless that boy’s soul.

They ended up just outside the cafeteria. Remy leaned against the wall, sliding his sunglasses back over his face in the hopes that he’d be less of an idiot with them on, and Emile stood a couple of feet away. They were nervously picking at a loose thread on their sweater, so Remy patiently waited for them to speak. There was no reason for him to make a fool of himself if he didn’t need to.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

Remy was so stunned by the question that he couldn’t even get a word in.

“‘Cause, like, you were staring at me earlier, and I’m probably jumping to conclusions like always, but I’d hate it if I hurt you. That would be a really shi--”

“You’re kiddin’ me, right?”

Emile’s face twisted in confusion. “What? No, of course not.”

“Darlin’, there’s just about nothin’ that you could do to make me mad at you. I was just--” Staring creepily at you because I think you’re the finest thing under the sun. Yeah, Remy. That’d be real cool of you to say-- “I was just starin’ off into space.”

“Oh. Okay.” There was an awkward pause before Emile blurted out, “Cool, well, I’m gonna go now. Bye!”

They were gone in a flash, leaving Remy staring at the space that they’d previously occupied. With a heavy sigh, he exited the school. Lucky him, having a free period after lunch anyway. He could cry in the comfort of his own home.

---

If you had told Remy Andersen a week ago that he’d be wearing a sweatshirt to school, he would have told you, “I’d rather be dead than wear a sweatshirt, sugar.”

Well.

The point still stood because Remy really fucking wanted to die.

And, yes, it was his own choice to completely disregard all of the times that his friends had told him not to change just to impress some boy, but heaven be damned if Remy wasn’t thirsty as hell. There was a cute boy, and Remy was ready and willing to try just about anything to gain the ability to kiss that pretty face.

Read: almost anything.

Remy wanted his leather jacket back, and he wanted his ripped skinny jeans, not the plain blue ones that he’d pulled from the darkest recesses of his wardrobe. He’d had to borrow this baby blue hoodie from Patton because, of course, he owned zero hoodies.

And everything was fucking great because Emile was totally paying attention to him trying to be more approachable.

This was fine. Everything was fucking fine.

---

Remy wore sweatshirts for a whole two days before he caved and went back to his leather jacket. There was exactly zero change in the way that Emile acted, and it fucking sucked. It was pretty obvious that he had no chance in getting Emile’s attention, and there was even less of a chance of actually being able to date them. Or even of being Emile’s friend because the fact still stood that Emile disliked Remy so much that they physically ran away every time he was nearby.

Thus, it was Dramatic Bitch Hours, and Dramatic Bitch Hours meant spending the entirety of lunch outside, brooding in the student courtyard.

Although it was nearing the end of May, it was a rather chilly day, and very few students wanted to be outside in the cold. One might suspect that Remy wouldn’t like the cooler days with him being from the south and all, but he found them rather pleasant for this very reason. Fewer people made it easier to relax and brood in peace. He was the only one in the courtyard, which made everything so nice and peaceful.

Well…

It was peaceful for a few minutes before some idiotic jocks decided to barge in.

“Don’t run away from us you fucking tranny!”

“You can’t waltz around and pretend to be something you aren’t,” a second voice snarled. “We saw you using the men’s bathroom earlier.”

“I’m surprised, seeing as your heads are so far up your asses!” a smaller voice shot back.

A smaller voice that belonged to the one and only Emile Picani.

Shit.

“Don’t fucking talk to us like that!” The group rounded the corner, and Remy could see that it was two jocks (one tall and the other muscular) harassing Emile. It felt like slow motion as he saw Emile’s small body stumble after being pushed by the taller jock.

“Hey!” Remy shouted, launching up from his table and storming over to the group. “Y’all had better knock it off real fast and leave them alone!”

The taller one sneered. “Or what? You’ll hit us with your precious sunglasses?” He took a step forward, and the other jock grabbed Emile from the ground in a tight grip.

“Remy, stop,” they pleaded. “Please, just leave.”

“Yeah, Remy,” mocked the muscular boy, gripping Emile even tighter. “Run away like the coward you are.”

Remy glared at the jock looming over him. “Sorry, doll. I don’t back down so easy.”

There was about a half second of angry silence before the tall one pounced at him. With the grace of many years of training, Remy took advantage of the momentum and threw the jock over his shoulder. The boy let out a heavy wheeze as the air was knocked clean out of his lungs, and Remy turned to face the other bully just in time to see Emile thrown to the ground again. The boy who had been holding them growled, stalking up to Remy and reeling back for a punch.

In a fraction of a second, Remy’s knee jerked up to catch the jock in the stomach. He took advantage of the moment of shock and ran his elbow into his nose. The boy stumbled back, clutching his face. The taller jock, who had recovered from being thrown, ran over to his friend with a gasp.

Remy casually straightened out his jacket, not even slightly winded. “I think it’d be the best for both of y’all if you went to the nurse’s office. That broken nose sure ain’t gonna heal itself, hon.”

The boys began to rush out of the courtyard, but Remy called out to them, “Oh, and I wouldn’t tell anyone what really happened out here.” He smirked. “Wouldn’t want everyone to know that y’all got beat up by the queer kid, now would we?”

Both jocks had the fear of god in their eyes as they nodded and ran into the building. As soon as they were gone, Remy was at Emile’s side.

“Sugar, are you okay?”

Emile nodded slightly as Remy sat down next to them. “Yeah, just startled. Also, how the hell did you do that?”

“I’m a black belt in taekwondo. Ma thought it’d be a good way to get out my destructive energy as a kid, so I ended up getting real invested.” Remy shrugged. He didn’t find it a very interesting part of his history, but it was useful at times.

“Holy shmokes…”

Remy smiled slightly, leaning back on his hands. “Y’know, I’d reckon that this is the longest conversation that we’ve had without you runnin’ off.”

A bright pink blush spread across Emile’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

“‘S all right,” Remy said, waving his hand dismissively. “Ain’t your fault that you don’t like bein’ ‘round me, hon. I don’t really blame ya; I’d prob’ly hate me, too, if I were you.”

“You think I hate you?” Emile’s voice sounded sad and hurt, which didn’t make any goddamn sense.

“Yeah? Sure made it seem like you did.”

“Oh my god,” Emile said. They buried their face in their hands. “God, no, Remy. I don’t hate you at all!”

Remy stared at Emile for a hot second. “If that’s some kind of practical joke, it sure as hell ain’t funny.”

“No, no! It’s for real; I swear. I don’t hate you in the slightest.” Emile peeked out from behind their fingers. “I actually kinda have a crush on you.”

“Holy shit. This can’t possibly be real.” Remy shook his head.

“Trust me, Rem. It definitely is,” Emile said as they slowly crawled into Remy’s lap. It was as if they’d been doing it their whole life. “Is this okay?”

Remy’s mind went haywire at the close proximity to his crush. “Yeah. It’s very much okay, Emile.”

“I don’t think that I’ve ever heard you call me by my real name.” Emile leaned in closer to Remy. Their eyes met, and it was easy to see the flirtatious fire in Emile’s eyes. “I wouldn’t mind hearing you say it again.”

“Gurl, you can’t--it isn’t fair for you to say that kinda stuff and expect me to think properly.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to,” Emile whispered as they finally closed the minuscule gap between their lips.

And wow. Remy had imagined being able to kiss Emile in many daydream sessions, but the real thing was something else entirely. It was soft, and he could taste brown sugar and cinnamon on Emile’s lips, but a warmth had bloomed in his chest unlike anything that he had ever felt before. It took him a second to realize in his romantic haze that he had Emile’s skirt clutched tightly in his hand, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. Not while he was kissing a literal angel.

All too soon, Emile leaned back from the kiss. Remy pouted, but he wasn’t able to get a complaint out before Emile said, “You look absolutely wrecked right now.”

Suddenly, the heat wasn’t just in his chest. “That… I swear to god, that ain’t fair.”

Emile cocked their head the tiniest bit. “What isn’t fair?”

“No human bein’ should be so perfect. You’ve got the looks--” Remy placed a kiss on their cheek-- “and the personality--” Another kiss to their nose-- “and you’re an amazing flirt.” He pressed a final, quick kiss to Emile’s lips, which made them giggle.

“Shut up! You’ve been my boyfriend for a whole two minutes; let me get used to it before you do sappy stuff!”

Remy’s eyes widened. “I-I’m your boyfriend?”

“Yeah! I mean, unless you don’t want to! I’m not going to force you or anything—“

Emile was cut off by Remy engulfing them in a hug. “Sugar, you’ve got no idea how much I wanna be your boyfriend. I’m just surprised that you wanna court me.”

“What? Why wouldn’t I?”

“Have you not heard a single word I’ve said this whole time? You’re, like, the most incredible person on this planet. It’d be an honor just to be able to call you my friend.”

Emile laughed, leaning their head on their boyfriend’s shoulder. “Since we’re letting out our dirty laundry, I suppose that I should confess that I was worried that you weren’t going to want to date me because you’re gay, and I’m not a guy.”

“Sexuality is fluid. I can like you and still call myself gay, right?” Remy’s voice almost sounded scared—like he was afraid to say something wrong.

“That’s fair.” They felt Remy shift a bit, smiling. “Is it too early to say that I love you?”

“Nah. I love you, too.”

---

“That’ll be ten bucks, Virgil,” Logan said, holding his hand out for the money as he stared out the doors to the courtyard. They had been planning to eat outside to work on a project together, but Virgil had seen their friends sitting on the sidewalk and stopped them before they intruded.

“We don’t even know what happened! This is stupid,” Virgil grumbled as he slammed the money into Logan’s hand.

A wicked smirk spread on Logan’s face. “All’s fair in love and war.”

“I’m gonna fucking tattle on you to Patton, and he’ll kick your ass to next week.”

Terror overshadowed the smugness in Logan’s expression, and he moved to chase after his best friend. “Wait, hold on! We can talk about this!”

#sanders sides fics #remile #remy sanders #emile picani #m writes things #logince #moxiety #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders

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creativenicocorner · 5 years ago

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“Uh-oh” - a CH11 Sneak Peek

Good grief this chapter so far has turned into such a test to see if I can balance humor and angst haha I’m enjoying the challenge!

Sometimes I do worry if I’m underlining certain things or repeating myself too much. But honestly, I’m tired of self judging and second guessing myself too much can be inhibiting. I want to get this show on the roooaaad

Anyways...

Jim’s sleep deprived brain felt like it was overheating trying to keep up with his own emotions. And with every blink, his eyes burned a little more.

“Do you need help, Jim?” went Strickler in such a helpful tone it made Jim’s skin crawl. The audacity to try and be nice after everything that’s happened. “Are you alrig-”

“No. I mean, yes.” strained Jim, “Let’s…let’s just eat. Okay?”

“Indeed.” chirped the changeling, “Oh, hang on. Napkins.”

And to Jim’s absolute horror, he watched as Strickler easily navigated his kitchen space. Heading directly to where the napkins were kept without so much as a misstep.

“There we are.” went Strickler with valorous cheer. “Ready to tuck in.”

“Yeah.” said Jim, placing the plates. Feeling as though he were experiencing what was happening in his kitchen distantly, through a telescope.

Strickler was the first to start eating. It ought to have taken the changeling sooner to notice that the air had changed as quickly as an impatient kid trying to draw with an etch -a - sketch.

The biggest clue something was indeed off, was Jim not eating. But rather staring at him.

The changeling looked at his sandwich then Jim’s untouched sandwich. And, as a knee jerk reaction, ran through their entire discussion in the kitchen. Strickler’s chewing slowed to a stop. While an entire moment to moment breakdown, contemplating when, if ever, Jim might have slipped something into his food.

Yet in Strickler’s heart of hearts, the changeling knew Jim had done nothing to tamper with the food. With an internal curse to have ever doubted Jim, Strickler swallowed the rest of his bite.

“Jim? Your sandwich will get cold.”

“It’s okay.”

Strickler’s mouth twitched from side to side, as though he were balancing his pipe on his lip, or wiggling a mustache that wasn’t there. The changeling took another bite of his sandwich. Contemplating as he tasted the oil soaked bread and cheese, the juice of the tomato and the freshness of basil leaves balanced with the crunch of various amounts of peppercorn.

To no one’s surprise, it was a damn good sandwich.

It inspired the changeling to ask, in hopes of continued amicable conversation, “Has, ah, Blinky ever tasted your cooking?”

“Hu?”

“Blinky, while he was waltzing about as a human. Did he ever get the chance to taste your cooking?”

“Um…no…” Jim’s brows furrowed in realization, “No, I guess not.” the teen’s eyes slightly bulged as another realization came to Jim. Blinky who was more deserving to taste his food never did get the chance to eat it.

Jim felt a want to throw something. But only pursed his lips.

Imagine a kettle. An emotional kettle, where with every attempt at kindness, only fueled the burner under the kettle all the more. And this kettle. This Jim Lake shaped kettle, was very ready to boil. Especially after realizing he was on the stove top this whole time.

“Oh that’s a criminal shame.” said Strickler sincerely. Though it could easily be taken as insincere with the changeling’s natural dry tone.

“Yeah…criminal.”

“Well if it happened once, who knows. Perhaps it can happen again. Blinky and Humanity Round Two Electric Boogaloo.” snorted Strickler with a hopeful attempt at a contagious laugh.

Jim didn’t laugh.

A bit of mozzarella slid out of Strickler’s sandwich. Landing as sadly as his attempt at good humor.

“Yes well…” Strickler cleared his throat, and fumbled to put the mozzarella back in the sandwich. “I’ll, ah, right. When this whole thing is over I’ll leave a note for Merideth- have you had the chance to meet her? Erm, no suppose not. She’s a very competent councilor.” Strickler paused, glancing at Jim.

But Jim remained as stoic as a drowsy cow. A cow left in a field goggling and wondering why no one is taking care of the barn that’s on fire.

Strickler continued, “No matter, I’ll leave her a note to start rounding up a few potential colleges that might interest you. With strong leanings towards the culinary of course.”

“Ah-huh.”

“You know,” went Strickler with awkwardly forced lightness. Hopeful Jim will start responding again. “you could end up hosting a dinner party for graduation - or, erm, some sort of celebration. You’d need help depending on how many courses and portions. Toby could be a great candidate, or the ever competent Claire. Perhaps not your mother, as much as I care about her she is a bit of a disaster in the kitchen.

“Although I will trust her when it comes to whip cream- do you remember the pie she made?” Strickler snorted with a laugh, hitting the table lightly like an old chum. “While we [snort] fought? Very good form by the way. How Barbara didn’t notice is beyond me. The focus on that woman when she sets out to do something, astounding. Must help in the operating room. I’d say theater but those are slowly not being used as much.”

The more Strickler talked with obvious fondness the more Jim’s face soured like spoiled milk. Until finally Jim’s stomach curdled.

It was the unintended mention of his mother that was the last straw for the frustrated sleep deprived teen. That emotional kettle was whistling more than ever now.

Even if Strickler didn’t mean anything malicious by it - it stung - it stung like Strickler’s presence stung. Like a constant sharp bitter wind. A reminder.

A reminder of how much Jim used to look up to him. A reminder of how foolish he felt to have ever looked up to him. A reminder of another betrayal by a paternal father figure.

And Jim, angry, tired, and young, wanted Strickler to feel a sting. If it couldn’t be physical what remained was the emotional - so Jim went for the only other thing (aside from his mother) that Jim knew Strickler felt strongly about.

And it wasn’t Napoleon short jokes.

“You know.” smiled Jim with a touch of acidic frost in his blue eyes, “I did a bit of digging in Blinky’s library about Shigir.”

“Did you now?” perked up Strickler, delighted.

“Yeah, came up while we were looking for more info on the Triumbric stones.”

“I’m surprised there was anything written at all! That’s incredibly rare, though not impossible. How curious.”

Jim made a non committal sound. He looked away from Strickler’s smiling face “Yeeaah, we found a nursery rhyme and a story to boot. KnotEnrique confirmed it.”

Strickler should have felt something was amiss in these statements. For one, troll knowledge on Shigir was bound to be contorted. And secondly, it was known KnotEnrique knew little of Shigir.

Yet in some recessive instinct, Strickler wanted to believe that the ever studious Blinky, brother of Dictatious, would hold a knowledgeable variety in his library. And that Jim willingly read it. So the changeling was gleeful to accept such a possibility at face value. Hopeful even.

And with that Strickler leaned forward. Hands itching, eager to hear more. “Did you bring it with you?”

“No…no, it’s still saved in Blinky’s library. Didn’t want to risk it falling out of my bag.”

“Ah. Wise move. Why the concept of zipping up your bags escapes you and your friends is beyond me.”

“-So, Shigir-” Jim said hurriedly, feeling a tangent about to happen. Not wanting to loose his nerve in dealing an emotional blow.

“Yes! Who wrote it? When was it written? Why would trolls- well, did you read the preface? Was there one?”

“Y-yeah I…don’t remember all that…but the story was…” Jim looked at his former teacher. Then the napkin, then the lack of the Inferna Copula worn on his hands, and finally that smarmy cheerful face he once looked up to so much. “..A little out of left field..” Anger prickled at the tired teen’s eyes. And Jim pushed his plate away to also lean forward, mirroring Strickler “It went a little something like this…”

There is a level of anxiety that surfaces when making something up on the spot. Sometimes (although not limited to) it’s a bit like ripping off a band-aid. The lie is told, short and sweet and to the point. And the world awkwardly continues to spin with a pin pricked after thought of ‘did I get away with it?’. But that’s quickly forgotten.

Other times it’s like thawing out a frozen meal. Slow, potentially painful, and with the curious feeling the dead absent eyes of the defrosting fish might not be as absent as you’d like to imagine.

And then there are times it feels like the water level in a video game.

The bets are open as to what Jim is about to experience.

“Once upon a time” started Jim, feeling brave in his anger. As what good story didn’t start with such famous four words? “In the land of…Lah, there’s a troll about to be duped.

“His name was Ji- Jiumb, and all he wanted was some peace for his family and friends.

“One of those friends was a person he really looked up to. And this, obviously, was Shigir.

“Now Shigir was a cool dude, said some - uh, cool stuff. Probably knew how to kick-flip at some point.”

I’m sure this ends well.

Lemony Snicket Voice: A well is a man made pool of water where one can retrieve water. In this case however, the water is pretty salty.

#A rather ominous sneak peek today folks #Trollhunters #Tales of Arcadia #Terpsichore #Jim Lake #Jim Lake Jr #Stricklander #Knife Family #Walter Strickler #Shigir Ideale #Oh ch11 ch11 #might delete later

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crystalninjaphoenix · 6 years ago

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Normalcy

A Stitched Story

JSE Fanfic

Wow, I managed to write something for this AU again! Now if I could only get around to Resurgence XD. This is a very simple story, much like No Strings on Me it deals more with aftermath than anything else. But like that one, it needs to be told. The main focus is on Jack and Schneep and their problems. Oh, also, read to the end :3c

Tagging @septic-dr-schneep for inspiring this AU with this post.

Read where it started: Stitched Together | Season One

Previous season two stories: No Strings on Me | Nightmare World

“Hey Chase, I got you something.”

Chase looked up from his phone as Jack entered the apartment, shutting the door behind him. He set a box next to him where he was sitting on the couch. Chase blinked at it slowly. “What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, I just thought it was something you needed.” Jack smiled. “Well? Are you gonna open it?”

“Uh...sure.” With some effort, Chase peeled away the tape holding the flaps of the box closed. He opened it and stared inside. “You got me a blanket?”

“Well, it’s not just a normal blanket.” Jack pulled the folded fabric out of the box and draped it over Chase’s shoulders. Chase looked mildly surprised at how heavy it was. “It’s a weighted blanket. I think it’s supposed to be used for helping anxiety and stuff like that, but it can also, like, simulate physical contact without actually being physical contact.”

“...oh.” Chase pulled the blanket closer. The weight did actually feel...really nice. “You went out and got this for me? You really shouldn’t have.”

“Well, I ordered it online,” Jack explained. “Just went down to pick it up from the front desk of the building. They really should deliver packages directly to the apartments, it can be kinda tricky to carry a fifteen-pound package up here even with the elevator.” He paused. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah.” Chase smiled just a bit. “Thanks, Jack.”

“No problem.” Jack made an okay sign with his hand. “If you need anything else, just tell me. I’m gonna go check on the others.”

“Okay. Um, again, thank you. A lot.” Chase said awkwardly, picking up his phone again.

Jack waved at him as he crossed through the living room and into the kitchen. JJ was sitting at the round kitchen table, its surface basically hidden beneath the books. All four of the magic books were open, various pens placed between the pages to keep them from swinging closed. JJ was leaning over one, intent on reading. “Hey JJ,” Jack said, making him look up. “Need anything?”

Jameson shook his head. No, but I appreciate you offering.

“Alright. Whatcha working on?”

Just looking for anything that could help. JJ tapped the page he was reading. This book seems to be about amulets, but there may be something inside. After all, doesn’t he wear a pair of them?

“Yeah.” Jack shivered. “White, teardrop-shaped, some sort of green scribbles on them. They’re broken.” He’d seen them frequently enough to remember their appearance.

Right. JJ nodded. If we knew what they were for, maybe we’d know more about him.

“Well, good luck dude,” Jack said, making his voice lighthearted. “I’m gonna go check on Henrik, want to take a break and come?”

Something sad flickered through Jameson’s eyes. No, I’m afraid I can’t.

“...oh. Right.” Jack backed away. “That’s understandable. But we need to figure out some way of getting around this soon.”

I agree. But not right now. See you soon, Jack.

“See ya.”

It was a short walk down the hallway to the same spare room that Schneep had been staying in for the past three and a half months. Except now, there was actually someone living there instead of just existing, sleeping. Jack opened the door slowly. “Hey Hen, are you—”

There was a surprised yell, which was accompanied by something hurtling toward the door. Jack hurriedly closed it, hand still on the knob, and heard the clatter of something plastic hitting the door and falling to the ground. He swung it open again and poked his head inside. “Did you just throw the clock at me?”

“Oh. Jack.” Schneep’s shoulders suddenly slumped. “I am sorry, it is force of habit. The clock was the closest object.”

“Totally understandable.” Jack bent over and picked up the small, battery-powered clock. It still seemed functional. Though only time would tell if he could still tell time. Jack smiled a bit at that thought, then walked over and replaced the clock on the nightstand next to the bed where Schneep was currently sitting. “You doin’ okay?”

Schneep laughed dryly. “Well, there are good things and there are bad things. The good thing is that I am not stuck in that place anymore. The bad thing is that I cannot fucking see.”

“Yeah, guess that’s true.” Jack sat on the bed, near the foot. Schneep’s shoulders raised at the shifting of weight. It was...odd, almost unsettling, that Schneep wasn’t looking at him. His head was turned in his general direction, but his eyes were staring directly forward, not seeing anything. The strange effect was compounded by the scars he had, the ones that looked like tears coming from his eyes. “How’s the, uh, lessons coming?”

“You mean this?” Schneep waved the book he’d been holding. “I’m afraid it is going very bad. They do not read like letters, they are just bumps.” He pursed his lips. “When I said I wanted to know three languages, this is not what I meant.”

“Maybe you just need some help,” Jack suggested. “I’d be happy to try.”

“That would be appreciated.” Schneep hugged the book to his chest, leaning backwards onto the headboard of the bed. “But not right now. I want to do something.”

“Well, like what?”

“I do not know, just—just something!” Schneep snapped.

“Whoa, hey. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Jack scooted closer to him until he was able to put a hand on his shoulder.

Schneep jumped at the unannounced contact, but settled into it easily, putting his hand on top of Jack’s. “I know, I know, I am sorry.” He sighed deeply. “I am just...frustrated.”

“Maybe you could channel that into something productive?” Jack asked. “JJ’s busy right now, but I think if you asked, he’d be glad to...I dunno, have help with his work.”

“How?” Schneep asked, his voice almost bitter.

“Uh...” Jack didn’t have an answer for that. Until they worked something out, communication between Schneep and JJ would be...difficult, to say the least. Jameson couldn’t speak for Schneep to hear, and Schneep couldn’t see Jameson’s signing anymore. There had to be a way around this, but in the week since Schneep had woken up, they hadn’t been able to find anything.

“That is what I thought,” Schneep sighed. For a moment, he was silent. And then: “Fuck it. I need to get out of here.” He swiveled around to the side of the bed and stood up.

“What—Henrik, what’re you doing?” Jack stood up too.

“I need to get out of here. You didn’t leave anything on the floor, did you?” Without waiting for an answer, Schneep walked straight across the room. He had the route from the bed to the door memorized, and the only difficulty came when he got close enough to said door, having to reach out to find out how open it was. He managed to grab the edge of it where it had been left ajar and walked out.

“Dude, wait!” Jack half-ran until he was even with Schneep. “I’d like to think you just mean out of the room, but you didn’t did you?”

Schneep kept walking down the hallway, fingers gently brushing along the wall so he could keep track of where it ended. “No, I did not, my friend. I have been awake and in this world for seven days, and I am thoroughly sick of this apartment. How have you three stayed cooped up in here for so much longer? I need to see—well, I need to experience the world again. I want to feel sunshine and air that doesn’t come through a tiny little glass.”

“You can’t be serious!” The two of them had entered the living room at this point. “Hen, I-I-I think you’re right, I mean, it would probably be good, but it’s not safe! Anti is still out there, and-and you—”

“Blind people have managed to get around in the wide open for a long time,” Schneep retorted.

“Hey, uh, I’m in here.”

Jack jumped. He’d been focusing on the situation with Schneep and had forgotten Chase was still in here. He looked over to where he was sitting on the couch, still wrapped in his new blanket, still staring at his phone. “Sorry, dude,” Jack said. “Didn’t mean to ignore you.”

“It’s fine,” Chase shrugged. “But, uh, what’s goin’ on?”

“I am trying to leave, and Jack is not letting me!” Schneep half-yelled.

“I’m not ‘not letting you,’ I just really think you shouldn’t!” Jack said defensively. “It’s dangerous out there! And confusing!”

“Well, maybe you could come with me and make sure I do not get to the confusing part!”

“I—I didn’t—that’s not—I wasn’t—” Jack stumbled over his words.

“I can go with you, doc,” Chase piped up. He unwrapped himself from the blanket and got to his feet, tucking his phone in his pocket. “It...I mean, we have to go outside sometime, right? Vitamin D and fresh air and shit.”

“You two—!” Jack didn’t even finish his sentence, just walked over the the kitchen entrance and poked his head inside. “JJ, I need backup over here.”

JJ looked up from the book. He tapped it insistently.

“Sorry, dude, this is important. It shouldn’t take too long.”

Jameson exhaled deeply, then closed three of the books but left the one he was reading open, with a pen tucked inside to mark the page. He pushed his chair back from the table, stood up, and joined Jack and the others in the living room.

“JJ, I need your support,” Jack said. “These two want to go outside, and I keep telling them it’s not safe. Right?”

Jameson considered this. I suppose it’s not entirely. But if they want to leave, they should be able to. In fact, we’ve all been in here for a while.

“So you’re saying it’s dangerous?” Jack summarized.

Schneep make a sound of disbelief. “That was too long a pause to just be an agreement.”

“Cheater,” Chase mumbled. “He actually said something along the lines of ‘yeah, but we should still be able to, actually let’s all go.’”

“He didn’t say we all need to go!” Jack said, a note of...desperation entering his voice.

Jack. Jameson signed his name firmly, spelling it out. We’ve all been stuck in here for a month and a half. That’s not healthy for anyone. I would certainly like to go outside and relieve some stress, and it sounds like everyone else would too. You’re welcome to stay inside, of course.

A strangled sound escaped Jack’s throat. He wasn’t going to win this. So the real question was, why was he even so attached to staying inside in the first place, when he really agreed with everything they were saying? “I...didn’t...” he sighed. “It’s...not safe to be alone, no matter where we go. I think...I think that’s even worse than leaving in the first place. So...if everyone wants to go, I...I guess I’ll come with you.”

“Great!” Schneep said, clapping his hands. “Fantastic. Do any of you know where my coat is?”

Five minutes later, and the four of them were standing on the sidewalk outside. It was unusually sunny for a November day, though there was still a chilly breeze that occasionally ran through the streets. Jack and Schneep were standing close to each other, with Schneep holding tight to Jack’s arm. JJ was also close to them, though Chase stood a bit farther away.

“Okay. So, we’re out here,” Jack said. His eyes were darting up and down the street, locking on to every moving object before eventually looking away again. “Now what?”

“I...don’t know,” Chase admitted, pulling on his bandanna to make sure it was tied tight. “We can go for a walk?”

“Is there not still a park?” Schneep asked. “I would very much like to go there.”

“Yeah, there is. It didn’t close or anything, doubt it would.” Chase turned to JJ. “What d’you think?”

That seems like a wonderful idea, JJ signed. Come on, no time like the present.

Jameson started down the street, Chase following. Schneep squeezed Jack’s arm. “Jack...the other two are walking away. I’m assuming you are going to follow them?”

“Y-yeah...right.” Jack took a deep breath, then slowly started walking after them. The city streets hadn’t been this...open before, had they?

As they strolled through the city streets, most of them slowly started to relax. Sure, their little group was attracting occasional attention from passerby, most of them staring at Jameson’s mask or the way Schneep stared at nothing. But they didn’t notice. Chase and JJ fell into relaxed conversation, and after some time Chase began translating JJ’s signs for Schneep. Schneep himself, meanwhile, couldn’t stop smiling. He loved this. Loved hearing the sounds of the city instead of hearing nightmares and static, loved being able to feel the breeze and the warm day.

Jack, however, was feeling increasingly on edge. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like anything could come at them from any direction at any time. He had to hurry to keep up with the others, but he wanted to slow down, maybe stop moving altogether and just watch for something to happen.

This was not helped by reaching the wide-open green space that was the park. Even though there were rows of trees planted, and the park was still small enough to see the surrounding city buildings, there was still nothing in all directions. Jack’s head was practically on a swivel, it was turning around so swiftly and frequently. But he forced himself to take deep breaths and stay calm. He couldn’t ruin this for the others. They were having so much fun.

They settled at a picnic table near the playground, Chase and JJ on one bench and Jack and Schneep on the other. I’ve had a great time, JJ signed, eyes crinkling in the way they did when he was smiling under the mask. Henrik, this was a good idea, thank you.

“JJ’s having fun,” Chase translated. “Schneep? He says this was a good idea and says thank you.”

“Oh!” Schneep’s face lit up. “You are welcome, my friend! See, I know that fresh air has many benefits, I am a doctor, why do you not trust me?”

Chase laughed, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. He was staring at the playground with a faraway look. His phone was in his hand, and he played with it nervously.

Is something wrong, Chase? Jameson asked.

“Oh!” Chase snapped to attention. “Uh, can you sign that again?” After JJ did so, Chase sighed. “I dunno, I just...” He looked down at the table surface. “I’ve been thinking about...about calling Stacy lately.”

Everyone went silent. “Well, why do you not?” Schneep asked gently.

“I dunno, I mean, what do I say? ‘Sorry I haven’t been able to take the girls for the weekend lately, I’ve been mind-controlled by a demon’? She’d think I’m crazy.” He looked up. “Did you guys...tell her anything? When I...you know.”

“In a way.” Schneep leaned forward onto the table. “We tried to say that you went away for something important, but she saw right through that. So instead, we just told her that you had disappeared, and that while we knew the reason, it was not safe for her to know more. She did tell the police, but she did not tell them that we were involved.”

A smile ghosted over Chase’s face. “Yeah, that sounds like her.” He glanced over at the phone. “I guess I...I don’t have to tell her too much, do I? But...I mean, I kinda want to. Communication is good, right?”

Do what you feel is best, Chase, Jameson signed gently.

“It is, but the choice is yours, my friend,” Schneep said softly.

“Yeah...you’re both right,” Chase sighed. “Jack, what do you think?” When Jack didn’t answer, Chase looked over at him. “Hello? Dude, you alright?”

Jack startled. “What? Sorry, sorry, sorry, I just—what were you saying?” He wasn’t even looking at the others, all his attention turned outward. His shoulders were tense, his fingers drumming a nervous rhythm on the surface of the table. “I’m gonna—I’m gonna go sit over there, I’ll be—I’ll be—I’ll be right back.” And with that, he stood up and walked over to the nearest tree, sitting on the ground with his back against it and his knees drawn up to his chin.

“That’s...weird,” Chase muttered, exchanging a look with Jameson. “Uh, Schneep, Jack just...left but we can still see him and he looks...nervous. To say the least.”

Schneep frowned. “Well, we can’t have that.” He slid off the bench. “At least one of you needs to get me over to where he is now.”

“Yeah, let’s all go.”

It was only a short walk over to where Jack was sitting. Once there, the three others sat down, all facing him. Jack didn’t even look at them, just looking around them for...something.

“Hey bro, you doing alright?” Chase asked.

“Huh? Yeah yeah, I’m okay,” Jack said, still not looking at them.

“Jack, even I can see that you are upset,” Schneep said gently.

“I’m not upset, I’m not, I’m just—” Jack broke off. His eyes were going back and forth, darting around the scenery wildly. He was rocking gently.

You’re right, you’re not upset, you’re having a panic attack, Jameson signed, eyes widening.

“What? Panic? No no, I’m—I’m—”

“Panicking,” Chase supplied. “Jack. You don’t have to tell us what’s wrong. But at least tell us that something is wrong.”

There was a long moment of silence. Jack finally settled on looking at the others. “I—I don’t want to make you guys upset,” he finally admitted. “You’re all relaxed, and having a good time, and I’m over here, just fucking...I don’t like this. I-I don’t like this. I d-don’t. I don’t like this. I don’t li-like it.” His words became more choked up with each repetition.

Schneep moved first, blindly leaning forward with a hand outstretched until it found Jack’s knee. From there, he scooted over to Jack, ending up next to him. “Tell me if this makes you not good, okay?” he asked, then leaned on Jack, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

Jack tensed at first, but soon melted into the contact. “No, that’s...that’s the opposite of not good,” he mumbled, tilting his head so it rested on top of Schneep’s. “Thanks.”

“Is no problem.”

Jack, are you comfortable telling us anything about how you feel right now? JJ asked slowly.

“I...” Jack took a deep breath. “I feel...like I can’t keep track of anything. Like there’s something bad about to happen, but I don’t know what, o-or where it’s gonna come from, because there’s no—it’s easier when I can see, like, an entrance or something, because then I know where—but there aren’t any doors or windows out here, and it-it could be anywhere!”

“You are breathing fast,” Schneep suddenly said. “Calm down a bit. Do it more slowly.”

Jack did his best, trying to take slow, shaking breaths. “I just—I want everything to go back to normal, so I thought...maybe if I didn’t—I don’t fucking know, talk about this, then it would just—”

“That’s not how it works,” Chase said firmly. “Things don’t just go away if you don’t talk about them. If anything, they just get stronger.” His voice softened. “Jack...you’ve been through a lot. We all have, and you’re not...you’re not any less important than the rest of us. If something freaks you out, then tell us so we can avoid it.”

“But—”

“It’s what you did for me, isn’t it? It’s what you did for Jays and it’s what you’re doing for Schneep. If you honestly thought we’d be more upset about having to change something than about giving you a fucking panic attack, then you’re completely wrong. What kind of friends would we be if that was the case?”

Jack made a small whimper sound. There were tears in his eyes, and though he was aware he could blink them away, he didn’t. “Thank you...” He buried his face in Schneep’s shoulder, who made no effort to pull away and instead reached up and started running his hand through Jack’s hair comfortingly. “Thank you, guys...”

“I told you, it is not a problem,” Schneep said with a smile. “Do you want to go home?”

“...yes.”

“Then we will go home.”

After a moment more, Jack pulled away from Schneep, standing up. The others followed suit. “I...you’re...you’re all great,” Jack said. “You’re all...I love you guys.”

And we love you too, Jack, JJ signed cheerfully. If you ever wish to talk, we’ll be ready to listen.

“It might...be a while.” Jack reached up and rubbed his right eye. It’s moments like this when he can feel the phantom pain.

And that’s alright, JJ assured him. We’ll all share in our own time.

The four of them walked back in silence, but it didn’t matter. They didn’t need to speak to understand.

Weeks passed. They eventually worked out a system for leaving the apartment. A pair would always go, leaving another pair behind. Jack was trying to readjust to open spaces, and Schneep was trying to adjust to his new disability. They were all slowly starting to open up about what happened to all of them.

They also realized that funds were running low. An unfortunate set of circumstances, since Jack and Chase were still “missing” and couldn’t do much without attracting the police, who’d ask questions they honestly couldn’t answer without sounding insane. Schneep also couldn’t return to his job; surgery was one of those jobs that required sight, as did many others. Jack was considering returning to his YouTube channel, but until he worked up the courage to do so, JJ took it upon himself to find some way to earn money for this new household.

He and Chase were out one evening in early January, searching for a place of business that was hiring and also wouldn’t mind having a strange, silent man working for them. It was slow going, but they were both optimistic.

“We should probably start heading back soon,” Chase said, checking the time on his phone. “Unless we want Jack to cook.”

Jameson shuddered at the thought. Alright, but if I may...I need to use the bathroom.

“Alright. I think this place has one, might as well. I’ll wait here.” Chase leaned against the wall.

I’ll be back in five minutes. With that, JJ turned and walked back into the office building they’d just come from.

And five minutes later, he walked back out, only to find Chase wasn’t there. He froze at first, then trampled down the surge of fear that had immediately arisen. That wasn’t any guarantee that something bad had happened, maybe he just...he couldn’t think of another explanation.

His head whipped side to side, and barely caught a glimpse of someone rounding the nearby corner. Though he only just saw the person, he could tell that it was Chase just from the build and the brief color of the hair. He broke into a run, speeding to catch up with him.

He turned the corner, seeing Chase leaning against the wall once again. But wait. He wasn’t wearing his bandanna and wristbands. And there was nothing underneath. Instead, there were a pair of necklaces, white teardrop-shaped pendants—

“Hey, Jackson.” He smiled. “Did you m̷i̕ss m͠e̵͢?͞”

Chase woke up lying on the ground of an alleyway. His head felt fuzzy, and when he tried to stand up he suddenly got dizzy and had to try three times to get to his feet. What...happened? He pressed his hand to his swimming head, and something brushed against his face. He jolted, then looked at his wrist. The string had come loose from underneath the wristband. And...on the other wrist too. He looked down. A string was dangling from underneath his bandanna, too.

Panic stopped his heart. “JJ?” he called. “Jameson? Can you—can you clap or something if you can hear me?” When there was no obvious answer, he ran out of the alleyway and shouted, “Jameson?! Give me some sign you can hear me! Jameson?!”

He looked around. No sign of Jameson. But there was something to his left. He felt a sort of...familiar tingling coming from that way, a sense that made his stitches feel hot. He hesitated for a split second before running toward it.

He rounded the corner, and the feeling increased. Nobody was there. But then Chase looked down, and his blood became ice.

Lying on the sidewalk was Jameson’s mask.

“No...” Chase breathed. “No, no, you didn’t...” He scooped up the mask. It looked the same as it always did, except for the fact that it wasn’t on JJ. “Shit!” He reached into his pocket and sent a text to Jack: We have a problem.

He didn’t even wait for a reply before turning around and sprinting back toward the apartment. They weren’t going to let this happen again. He wasn’t going to let this happen again.

That bastard wasn’t going to touch any of them ever again.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #jameson jackson #dr schneeplestein #antisepticeye #brigid writes fanfiction #fixing stitching #stitchedstories

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do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them · 6 years ago

Text

Til the End of the Night / Ch5: In which things go better than they could have, if not by much

Previous / Masterpost / Next

Summary: This is fine.

Warnings: Mild injuries, Virgil talking bad about himself

A/N: listen... i love... platonic moxiety

Read on AO3

Virgil may have blacked out for a couple seconds. One moment he was surrounded and panicking, and the next, he was sitting on the ground somewhere dark, cool, and quiet. He was already calming down, almost like- wait, it probably was magic. He stood and straightened his robes, examining his surroundings. There was just enough light to make out the smooth, curving walls that surrounded him. He didn’t feel trapped, strangely enough; he had the feeling he could leave at any time, although he had no idea how he knew that.

He could still hear noise outside. He wasn’t in some kind of pocket dimension or anything, then. There were voices, but too muffled for him to know what they were saying. He was probably going to have to leave whatever this was and deal with what had happened at some point, but… he didn’t really want to. Maybe he could just hang out in here a bit longer. Wait until he had a clear idea of how he was going to deal with it, at least.

He jumped. Something had just touched the outside of his little bubble for a second, and he felt it, somehow. He walked cautiously up to the side it had come from. The voices outside were louder now, closer. He heard someone he didn’t recognize, and then… Patton? Yeah, that was him. He wished he could make out what was going on, but he was only getting tone, not actual words.

What he did know was that Patton was still talking, and his voice was rising in both pitch and volume, and he was starting to stumble over words, and Virgil was getting worried. He pressed his hand against the wall and wondered how to get rid of it. He couldn’t leave Patton alone out there with the town guards, he was going to get hurt for sure if he wasn’t already, there was no doubt in his mind--

Another feeling that something had bumped the outside of the bubble, a cry of pain, and before Virgil could think the bubble was gone and he was moving. There was Patton and a guard and Virgil was grabbing Patton’s arm, jerking him out of reach just in time, whirling around and yelling “MOVE” and the crowd defied the laws of physics to part for him. He didn’t slow down or even look up until they were three streets away, and even then only because he tripped over a loose cobblestone and crashed onto his hands and knees, barely managing to avoid bringing Patton with him. He pushed himself up and finally looked at something other than the next place to run.

They were in a narrow alley. Patton was leaning on the wall of a building, winded. “Looks like your old dad is a little out of shape,” he laughed between breaths.

“We’re the same age,” Virgil reminded him. “Sorry about… that.” He jerked his head in the general direction of the market.

“Oh, don’t say that, it wasn’t--”

“We can talk about it later,” Virgil cut in, hearing the shouts of guards approaching. They weren’t safe yet. “We have to get back to the inn before they find us. Think you can keep up?”

Patton winced. “Uh…” He was still out of breath from the first bit of running, while Virgil didn’t seem affected at all. “I’ll do my best!”

His best was not very good. Virgil had a grip on his wrist to keep him from getting behind, but he was still struggling and nearly falling a lot. Unsurprisingly, the side in charge of running away from dangerous things was fast when he wanted to be. He tried to slow his pace a little for Patton, but that let their pursuit start to catch up, and they had to lose them before they could go back to the inn, not just stay ahead. Virgil turned a corner and stopped abruptly, and Patton didn’t have time to ask what he was doing before he was lifted off his feet.

“Do not mention this to anyone,” Virgil said darkly, already running again, somehow faster than Patton was capable of even when he was carrying him. “Ever.” Patton just laughed nervously and held onto his robes, trying not to fall.

Ten minutes later, Virgil deposited him behind the inn and slid down the wall, breathing hard. Patton looked at him and got halfway through the word “sorry,” feeling bad for making him have to do all that, but before he could finish Virgil shook his head, as if to shake off fatigue like water, and stood back up.

“No- I mean- ugh, we don’t have time for this. We have to get Logan and leave, now.” His tone said it wasn’t a suggestion. Patton looked down, nodded and followed him into the inn.

The innkeeper gave them a weird look as they rushed through her lobby, and Patton half-turned and waved awkwardly as he started up the stairs.

Logan was deep in a reference guide to local flora, and nearly threw his pen across the room when the door slammed open. Virgil was standing there with his leg in the air, having apparently just kicked it open. “LOGAN, HOLY-”

His next word, whatever it would have been, was muffled by Patton’s hand. “Watch your- hey, don’t lick me!” He pulled his hand away and wiped it on his pants.

“Instinctive reaction, not my fault,” Virgil claimed. “Logan, pack it up, buddy, we gotta go.” He was already kneeling on his bed, sorting his belongings into different pockets. He’d been about three pounds lighter without all this stuff.

Logan’s brow furrowed as he tore off a scrap of paper to use as a bookmark. “What? Why? We have this room until tomorrow, do we not?”

Virgil sighed. “I…”

“There was a little bit of an incident and some people got mad and it wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Patton interrupted. He knew Virgil too well to let him finish that sentence. He didn’t have much to pack up, so he wandered over to the window. “Ooh. That doesn’t look good…”

“What?” Virgil demanded, suddenly next to him. “What doesn’t- oh. We- we have to leave, Logan, right now, seriously…” There were guards down on the street, methodically knocking on every door, and they would reach the inn soon. In a town where nothing happens, it doesn’t take much to become law enforcement’s top priority.

Logan looked at the mess in front of him. In his defense, there had been no reason to expect he would need to clean it up quickly. “This is going to take some time,” he said. “I think it would be best that you go ahead and then wait for me. There’s only one road, so you shouldn’t be difficult to find, and it’s not as if I have done anything to warrant suspicion, after all.”

Virgil hesitated. He didn’t want to be separated, but he also didn’t want to be caught. And out of all the other sides, Logan was the one he most trusted not to do anything too stupid when left to his own devices. “Okay, fine, but you better actually catch up as fast as you can and not stick around to read a little more,” he warned.

“I would never.”

Patton giggled.

“I don’t see what is so amusing,” Logan huffed as the other two headed for the door.

“Like Virge said,” Patton reminded him just before leaving, “don’t be too slow-gan!” He pulled the door shut before Logan could complain, which somehow diminished his desire to have an irritated reaction at all. Logan didn’t understand why that was, himself. Surely he should have been equally annoyed whether Patton was around to know about it or not.

The innkeeper had an almost resigned look when Virgil and Patton ran back down the stairs and approached her. “Let us out the back and forget either of us was here,” Virgil told her, pressing a variety of coins into her hand. At least some of those were probably valuable. She just nodded, having somewhat expected something like this, and led them to the staff entry.

“Thank you, you have a very nice inn,” Patton told her on his way out. She just smiled and nodded, then went back to the desk and added them to the list of people who would not be allowed to stay there a second time.

Virgil didn’t relax until they were well out of town. He kept pulling them around the side of buildings to hide at every little noise. Patton just followed his lead, because trying to make conversation, or suggest that maybe it would be a better plan to just try not to look so obviously guilty of something, seemed like a bad idea when he was this tense. Finally, they came to a large rock almost Patton’s height by the side of the road, conveniently right next to a path that led towards the forest, and chose it as a good place to stop and wait for Logan.

Sitting with his back against the rock, hidden from anyone walking past, Virgil finally released the tension in his shoulders. Well, some of it. He was still literal Anxiety, and there was Logan to worry about. Which, he realized, he should absolutely not do right now under any circumstances, because all he could actually accomplish would be to get himself believing something bad would happen. Like when he’d been so sure Patton was going to get hurt back there. Or when he’d just known someone would try to start something with him for pushing. Or when he’d spent the entire time between learning they were going to a town and actually getting there obsessing over what people would think of him when they saw him in this outfit, and then, wow, what do you know, he was universally distrusted. Somehow, coming to the conclusion that everything was in fact his fault only made him worry more.

Patton sat facing him, legs crossed, leaning to the side to rest his head against the rock. He studied Virgil’s face for a moment. “You know that wasn’t your fault, right?”

Virgil sighed, frustrated. “Yeah, sure, totally, except for how I’m the one who decided to show up in a fantasy world dressed like an evil wizard, and I’m the one who can’t navigate a crowd without making enemies, or control himself enough to not do scary-looking magic by mistake in the middle of the street, and--”

“Yeah, but you weren’t trying to scare people, you were just stressed out and they overreacted, and you’re also the one who got us out of there,” Patton pointed out, eyebrow raised. “And the one who found his way back to the inn perfectly after running in circles for fifteen minutes, and didn’t leave me behind when I was slowing us down, and let me drag him around town all day in the first place, which made me very happy. So you shouldn’t be apologizing, I should be thanking you. It’s not like you made any of that happen, it was just… bad luck.”

Virgil looked stunned and doubtful, which was kind of his default when anyone said anything nice about him. He shouldn’t let Patton keep thinking so well of him when it wasn’t true. He should tell him what he’d figured out, that Virgil and his stupid constant worrying were causing their bad luck. “But I- uh... wait, the, uh, the bubble thing, did that hurt you?” He couldn’t do it. Not when Patton was looking at him with actual admiration. He wasn’t strong enough for that, he had to just… change the subject like a coward. “Or- anything else?”

“No, no, it- well, it sort of shocked me when I touched it, but it didn’t actually do anything, y’know, it just felt like it hurt.”

“...Okay. I don’t actually know, but sure. Really though, you’re not hurt at all?”

“I, uh…” This was unfair, Virgil was looking at him all worried, he couldn’t flat-out lie. “I… might have a little scratch?” He held up his arm. He didn’t have to say it wasn’t from earlier today.

Virgil looked at it and sighed, looking through his pockets for the extra roll of bandages he bought earlier. “What, were you just not gonna tell me?”

“It didn’t seem serious enough to care about!”

“Not now, maybe, but it could get infected or something, we’re gonna be out in nature and stuff!” He wrapped up most of Patton’s forearm, which he thought was a bit overkill, muttering under his breath about idiots who shouldn’t be trusted with swords. Patton stayed quiet.

Virgil finished and leaned back against the rock, pulling his knees up to his chest, and winced- why did it hurt to bend them? He looked down. Oh. He suddenly remembered falling in the street.

“Virgil,” Patton said. “You yelled at me over a scratch and yet you weren’t going to tell me you scraped up your knees?” He folded his arms in mock scolding, then moved to heal him.

“Hey, I forgot, a lot was happening,” Virgil defended himself. He watched Patton’s magic with interest. “Sure would be more convenient if you could just do that to yourself, too.”

Patton laughed a little too brightly, hiding a wince. He’d realized too late that healing this particular thing while kneeling was a mistake. “Guess I’ll just have to try not to hurt myself again.”

It wasn’t much longer before Logan arrived, having somehow stuffed all his scattered papers and thick books into his satchel. He almost dropped it in surprise when Patton jumped out from behind a rock and ambush-hugged him, claiming that he hadn’t seen him all day and therefore couldn’t help it. Stories from the day were traded, some more exciting than others, and new knowledge shared.

By the time they paused at the edge of the Fae Forest, the sun was close to setting, but they couldn’t exactly go back into town for the night. Virgil told himself firmly that everything would be fine, but he didn’t believe it. Patton marveled at how tall the trees ahead were, not to mention how much more alive they seemed than anything he’d seen in the real world. Logan just pushed his glasses up for the third time in a minute and stared into the brush, suspiciously looking for the weird things which supposedly resided therein.

“I suppose all we can do now is… walk in.”

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #my post #my writing #til the end of the night

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