#all the sunsets i have missed
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They had a bit of a chance encounter on a day where Blueblood was dealing with something that was very difficult and was so caught up in his emotions he didn’t even care that he was in the garden getting grass stans on his coat and Ditzy, with her natural impulse to cheer ponies up, didn’t even notice or care that she was flying into the palace gardens when she saw someone sat in the rain.
At first he was definitely going to call the castle guards to come apprehend this strange filly with the odd eyes who was intruding when this was the last moment he’d want to entertain any desperate debutantes, however she surprised him by not fawning or anything, not even caring about his status, just putting one of her fluffy wings up and asking if he needed somepony to lend an ear.
“Don’t let my eyes fool you, my ears work just fine!”
She was incredibly disarming and while he didn’t reveal everything about why he was upset, he found himself talking about his feelings to her. And she made such cheerful remarks, and was very comforting. In the end, he felt better and she came to check on him the next day, even sharing a blueberry muffin with him. He remarked that he’d never seen her around before, and that he wouldn’t mind terribly seeing her more often.
The rest, as they say, is history.
#my little pony#mlp#ditzy doo#prince blueblood#my art#mlp g4#mlpfim#mlp fim#my little pony friendship is magic#derpy hooves#swap six#side stars au#my silly pigeon girl and my lonely rich boy you are so important to me…#yes I should draw more stuff besides them I know and I will… i just missed them okay and the ask scratched an itch.#bonus tag lore for those who read my tags: Blueblood is upset about the mysterious disapperance of Sunset Shimmer#Celestia only told Blueblood and Cadence (and Cinch) that she was gone - no details#Cadence is somewhere else struggling in her own way#Blueblood may or may not be so emotional because he blames himself#Blueblood and Sunset bought into Cinch making them compete to be the best#she loved them as much as she was capable but part of having a good reputation means succeeding above all others#and while Cadence rebelled against that mindset the other two didnt. They were more friendly with Cadence than each other.#As Sunset grew angrier and more resentful of not being taken seriously by Celestia (The Fall of Sunset Shimmer for reference)#She fought with Blueblood more and I think he thinks he was the reason she left when in reality it was definitely the least his fault#but he doesnt know that…
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As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.
#‘this isn’t a fantasy novel’ yes thank you if it were I’d have a cool sword at the very least#but what I have instead is a dozen tiny reasons to keep going#my wife. my pets. my stories. to see how my favorite tv show turns out.#to watch my nephew grow. to laugh with my siblings. to cry with my parents.#to see the movies I’ve missed and read books that haven’t yet been written#and above all else: to prove that I can. that I can stay. that I can see just one more sunset. one more snowfall. one more pride parade#one more. one more. one more.#it’s one day at a time. it always has been.#it will be bad. I am not disputing that. I came into this year terrified that it would be my last one on earth#but so long as I have a say: I say no. I say I belong here. i say fuck you.#it will be bad. of course it will. it will be terrifying.#and I will be here because the simple fact of my queer ass continuing to draw breath#can help ruin the day of the worst people alive
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i’ll never forget that the first time i watched julie and the phantoms, during the last episode after they became corporeal and hugged i just shouted “THEY CAME BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE OF THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP” and immediately burst into tears
#and i was real for that#i cry every time i watch that scene#and every scene in that episode#and in the episode before#and the first episode#and every time julie or someone else mentions her mom#and during bright and finally free and edge of great bc those songs have helped me through so much#and every time friendship#like flynn and julie being cute#and every interaction between julie and her dad bc my dad died and i miss him#and luke birthday parent scene#i also laugh at everything anyone says or does especially luke#he’s so fucking ridiculous#laughing and crying my way through the show#there can be two#jatp#julie and the himbos#julie and the phantoms#jatp spoilers i guess#will forever be sad about no season 2 we could’ve had it all#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters#sunset curve#yeet my deet#julie and the fat ones#stand tall
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Sofia & Katya breaking up..?? 😨😨
Inspo (X)
#nooooo!#girls it’s Valentine’s Day TOMORROW!!!#stick it out until then at least!!#I know it’s no longer a thing but damn I missed this time on tumblies#I liked using my imagination#anyways Sofia realizing Katya will never change even if she says she really wants to fucked me up#I had to draw it#Katya using violence to show her love#exactly like the lifestyle she’s been forced to live because of gonch#this is a Goncharov hate account all my homies hate that guy!!#I know the whole movie is about how his actions and how they affect the entirety of his live but MAN!!#when actions have consequences!!#now my girlies break up mid movie!!#I know they steal a boat later and ride off into the sunset but still!#Goncharov#unreality#goncharov fanart#fanart#katya goncharov#sofia goncharov#digital art#katfia
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Can’t believe Miles and Gwen are about to be the most well developed cbm romance of all time
#Look g just trust me#I have all the footage they’ve shown us in order in my mind and every Miles/Gwen scene/teaser is like#LOADED with subtext and tension and all that good stuff#Like in that scene where they’re watching the sunset together (like that’s not romantic enough) they’re gonna be steadily inching closer—#and closer together probably without realizing until they’re bumping shoulders#And that scene where she scoops him up and finds a drawing of HER in his sketchbook—that drawing is recent. It HAS to be—#Because artists like Miles go through sketchbooks like Spidey goes through web carts and for her to find herself in a RANDOM one…#FOUR YEARS LATER no less…#But it doesn’t even end there! Because she kept the haircut#This whole time she’s been maintaining the memory of the time he ripped a clump of her hair out (also the day they met)#So like when she says she missed him too it’s like—just as much?? Cuzzzz I kinda think so#spiderman#miles morales#gwen stacy#spider gwen#atsv#across the spiderverse#gwiles
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i’m coming for another one of yall this mood board monday. this one is for you and me on the rock by @the-sun-and-the-sea
#now you’re just gonna have to hear me out on this#this fic had a lot of soft and romantic imagery but since im relying on the internet i picked a lot of pics based on vibes#for example for the first pic (top left corner) there’s obviously not an aesthetic for making wedding nets so i went w the wedding dance#so i could ref the convo they had about marriage#then the next pic is a ref to their lil dinner date… there’s no dinner (just flowers) cos i couldn’t fit it in all in the frame 😔#the next pic is also vibe based it’s just to capture how silly they get#cos there’s a scene where finnick puts on a capitol accent and annie is like whatever! (in a silly way)#next pic is to 1) emulate the sunset vibes 2) a nod to them running AROUND when finnicks prep team goes to 4#ik this pic is obviously not that sorta frantic vibe at all but remember it was me and pinterest against the world#next pic is a reference to annie being comfty and cozy w finnick and being in his bed reading her books#next pic: sunset imagery + them cuddling. next pic: reference to annie’s frizz. next pic: canon odesta wedding cos of the very last scene#next pic: ok i just think this one emulates odesta’s vibe in this story and other stories by miss mdr#like the way they’re wrapped around each other and looking at the ocean#next pic: all the sea glass jewelry options were UGLY so i just had to rely on beachy jewelry imagery to ref the lovers day scene. sorryy#next pic: annies stuff in finnicks room <3 like her books and mirror and stuff#ok i’m done going ham in the tags but again i needed to explain myself since SO many of these were just based on a vibe of a vibe#mood board monday#odesta#annie cresta
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Lonesome Transcendence
#shenhe#genshin impact#genshin fanart#my art#ughhhh okay I really should have pulled up actual mountains and studied the#m#but I just wanted to shut off and paint and omg it was so relaxing#there's so many issues with this but god I just had such a good time layering this on#sometimes I just go to the stone forest with shenhe and just watch the sunset and listen to the music#and its such a beautiful wee place to me#I really want to see the real stone forests in china some day#I just can't believe nature can play with the earth like this#I miss mountains so much ughhh I miss the smell of them all the different kinds of stone#the colours that play across them in sunset and dawn#the way it feels to be so grounded and cradled by them all at once waaaa
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lil hiatus away
#trump winning hit hard#harder than I thought because I didn’t think he’d win#we all met up the next day and had depression strolls#lots of vents and talks and anger#window shopped and actually shopped#looked at expensive guitars and little hamsters find fun in every place we go#we all made food with/for my niece and talked at my table for hours#played among us like old times till 1 am#got emotionally rejuvenated by the ocean#had plans with a friend that fell through so another time maybe or not idc anymore hahah she’s persistent though#I’m kinda over everything!#this 4:30 sunset always gets me bad for a while#on top of heavy world changes too like do that shit in summer#my dads friend Chris is visiting and that always makes me happy#I heard them cracking up watching South Park in his room last night was the cutest shit#reminded me of old times I miss living in Boston that whole era#wish we could have a redo#or even when he lived here with us after#maybe he'll move back this way someday#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live#or get out of the country all together#hiatus away was nice especially from Instagram and fb they're horrible places right now#unfollowing and unfriending everyone rn idc who u are#and honestly idky I still even have tumblr now I ask myself that a lot#more and more lately#have a good day#and take care of yourselves
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Ending it with Miles 😭🫶🏽🥹 we’re gonna cry so bad.
But also I love this so much cause like obviously the band and the management heard all the hateful ‘fans’ back when they had to cancel Marlay Park because Alex dared to get laryngitis and this; giving them not only one but 3/4 shows with Miles and an access code is so hilarious to me cause like yeah you very fuckin nasty and disgusting but here ya go ya lil shits now what do you say (pretty please) like this makes all those haters look sooo incredibly dumb and childish (like no patience at all obviously they need time to schedule and arrange all the venues and what not, like have some faith in them just lean back and trust) anyways long story short love this move
instagram
I’m having a mental breakdown
Miles via email
#22/08/2023#holy shit I just woke up#Arctic monkeys#also love that picture of Alex#only Alex could feel so bad about having to cancel one show that he gives us 4 shows 🫶🏽🥹 and Miles#uff the car is not gonna be the first tour without Miles as support/opening act#ending a (near exact) year long tour in Miles’ arms for four days befor riding off into the sunset with him 💅#I would seriously go complete ignoring my bank account but Uni starts literally that week and I can’t miss that first week for my life fuck#Instagram#I can’t wait for their smiles and hugs#all his friends posting bout miles joining AM 🫠😭🥹#I’m counting on Rosie to be mothering and giving us videos backstage of them two#I died dead#how Alex probably returned from his holiday in Italy and then met up with Miles when he had finished his promo tour and they were#just sitting on the settee drinking and chatting and then Alex asks him if Miles would like to join them for Ireland and on both their faces#a gigantic smiles just blooms and they grin at each other like the stupid lovesick idtios that they are before going in for one of their#trademark hugs and just cuddling and whispering to each other what they’ll do in Ireland together and and 😭😭#also like this screams we needed to find a opening act in short notice so we obviously Turned to Miles and that’s so sweet it’s like yeah we#know he’ll always have our back just like we have his#Miles kinda feels like the peace offering here 🤣#also like yes they’ll have endless time after the fourth gig but also before that because the monkeys are done on the 7th in America so they#have an entire week before that first Ireland gig just to practice (new/old songs) and spend time together#okay but hear me out what if: Miles Kane and the death ramps comeback ?!! huh what then
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i made Da Vinci the game's first 6 star because fck you she deserves it and she and Sherlock both should have been welfare SSRs
...So on that note I will be handing her this satellite connected DSRC I got from a soda mascot and assuming everything will just turn out alright.
#if you have any idea what i'm talking about you're a legend#fgo#fgo da vinci#did you really think i'd ever stopped giving my servants proper armaments#lord knows when this rank up is getting posted though between the apoc gang and all the ones I need to catch up on.#Definitely either Blackbeard or Phantom next#*sigh* i miss sunset overdrive
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if we meet again, somewhere far away
My dearest, I will not rush to join you in heaven, to stand by your side again.
I will not run to the arms of relief, the sweet embrace of death, to escape this pain.
I will not end my time prematurely, I will not do as you did.
I will take my time, picking flowers in the field, buying every souvenir, eating something new, meeting the people you did not.
I will take my time, in visiting the places that you wanted to go with me, smiling in the sunshine, getting wet in the rain.
I will gather these experiences, photographs, trinkets, flavours, scents, and I will present them to you, when it is all over.
I will empty my pockets before you, and show you what you willingly gave up. I will show you the laughter, the joy, the love, the light, and the sadness, the grief, and the bittersweet.
I will present it all to you, and I will tell you, smiling, "Do you see what you missed?"
And I will sob before you too, and I will ask what I've been wondering all this time, "Why didn't you want to Come with me?"
And I will have to settle for the answer I didn't want, "I didn't know there was such beauty, until you showed it to me."
And I will grab your hands, and I will look you in the eyes. "I could've shown you, if you'd asked." And we will both cry and apologize, finally understanding each other, because we will both know that I was lying.
#tw: suicide and death#someone i knew passed away a long time ago#and no it isn't the anniversary of their passing#it isn't close to their birthday or a special day at all#i miss them every day and not just on holidays and I wish there was an afterlife so I could meet them again and I could tell them#“do you see what you left me with? do you see what you made me do without you?”#and I want to show them the mountains and my university dorm#i want to show them my cats and introduce them to my boyfriend and I want to take them to a field of wildflowers#and I want them to feel the sunshine on their cheeks and that indescribable joy that fills in your stomach#i want them to tell me that they understand why I love living and I want them to love it too#I want them back. I want them to know the sound of rain and the view of sunsets on the ocean and the screams on rollercoasters#and the pain of breakups and the heartbreak and joy of moving away from your parents and I want them to know#I want them to know the first day of high school. I want them to know graduating from middle school. I want them to know and have known#and I am angry that they will never get a second chance because the world is cruel but beautiful#and yet i understand that what would we be if we were given a second chance at life? would we be more loving?#would we be more hateful?#there is only one chance at life. and all I want is that I could go back and I could remind them#this is your one chance. and it gets better#i promise#because i didn't understand the beauty of life until I was without you#i wish i could have shown it to you. and I will spend forever regretting that I couldn't#vent poetry#vent writing#vent poem#poetry#poem#depressing poem#tag: in case you're wondering where i went
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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qjaiden death got me so fucked up I have about 30 posts worth of queue about her
#some are other things but a good 90% are jaiden#i didn't want to clog up someone's notifs lolol but yeah the queue's gonna go till friday#i know ccjaiden made the decision herself to step away and im glad she's prioritising herself and her mental health#but also GAH. she was part of the first group. she was our first woman. she was my first pov. and only pov up until bobby died.#she was a lawyer. a mother. a best friend. she was amazing.#i didnt pay much attention to her cubito and all the cucurucho lore after bobbys death but im still going to miss her#wouldnt have started watching qsmp had it not been for her. i may have been a mcyt fan before qsmp but i never watched dsmp so i knew of-#-the other creators but not enough to want to watch. but seeing jaiden animations up there amused me enough to start watching#we watched her adopt bobby with roier. i loved their friendship from the start. i kept up w bobby so much. he was my first favourite#im going to miss her. she was a wildcard but god she was one of the best#jaiden roier bobby drawing sessions. jaiden hanging out with roier and mariana. jaiden attending roier and cellbit's wedding#jaiden showing off her wings. jaiden getting a new hairdo. jaiden in bobby fields never being able to set down more than 3 chairs#jaiden saying goodbye to every sunset. calling out wait for me. dont leave her. wait for her. wait for her bobby.#she's with you now.#FUCK OKAY I THOUGHT I'D BE FINE NVM
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how are we feeling lads
#i miss all my mods so much#but this is arne#he's based on a very old cadash (2015?? maybe) who romanced dorian#but this time we'll go for iron bull i think#because i think it would be funny and i don't have inquisitor for bull yet#he's a rogue. assassin maybe?#he's just some guy in his forties#has some kal sharok ancestry#likes horses. hates nugs except in a skewer#favourite color is orange. loves sunsets <3#doesn't give a rat ass about templar and mage politics but is terrified of magic#oc: arne#oc tag
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