#all the songs came out at the right time and fit the vibe for alexs ringtone

[late2000shistoricalreenactment]

Playlist I made with @i-was-bored-so-this-happened

[djmossback]

Spacebar 12/16/23

Third Space Saturday

Tasting Notes

So many semi-grandiose plans for the night: Christmas music. Refreshed crates. New records for the mix. You know what they say about best-laid plans. Not only did I leave my wallet at home, I also left my auxiliary record bag on the floor of the staging room. I need a tour manager. The one time I actually prepare for a gig, and get there early, I do something to make it more difficult for myself. The bag I forgot contained the Christmas records. All seven of them. IGA and I were texting each other about the December show, and how much he always looked forward to it, and it is fun to switch it up a bit and try to integrate something so specific into a regular set. Well, no choice in the matter now, just have to roll with what I have. Mr. Grant Olsen thinks I bring too many records anyway.

I roll up on the elevator – it works – and I’m at the booth in no time. Brando has the night off, so Trystan is on door duties. I know him from the outside world, so it’s cool to see him there. Brando shows up later anyway, as a patron.

I unpack my records, get set up, check out the turntables, and turntable left is completely unplugged. I’m there in plenty of time to do cord management and still be ready to start at 9.

When I inform Cyberjewel that there will be no holiday music in the set, she looked at me a long time and said, ”That is SO ok. Do your thing.” She had the sound set up and kicking, and a glass of Athletic with a bottle of water chaser waiting for me. Gracias.

I start right at 9, with the venerable George Clinton jam “Do Fries Go With That Shake?” – an incredible banger, one of my favorite of his, long but not too long, lots of detail and sound flourishes on this track.

Van McCoy is a surprise. Tavis starts doing disco moves behind the bar, and I loosen up a bit. This single I have is a reissue, from a Record Store Day not too long ago. It really works. Crowd digs it, too.

After that I go on a 7” single jag, including a Jackson Browne to Eddie Rabbitt transition that was rocking.

I mentioned the semi-grandiose plans earlier. This included some Sixties music. I wanted to see how the early ’60s monophonic records would work in this setting, but I forgot I brought them in until later, when Nicky Mustard had already gone home. I think he would have loved to hear “All Day and All of the Night” while he and his bandmate/friend Alex played Centipede. Next time.

I left my Ray Price record at home. I was thinking of playing some crying uptempo honky tonk to see what would happen, but decided against it before I even left the lab. That stuff, like Buck Owens and Merle Haggard, was built to cut across the din of the barroom and stand out. But I have been sparing in my use of that genre. I’m so happy to not be limited to one style or sound.

I did play some stuff that didn’t work. The B.I.G. track I played is a favorite of mine, but too wordy for this setting, and I left it before the gunfire coda. Perhaps it didn’t fit with the vibe of the Pet Shop Boys song that preceded it, or going into the Vibrators track, which didn’t fit either.

I got back on track with the Bush Tetras. The Cramps track was misplaced, too, so I cleared the slate with some New Jack Swing.

During the Amii Stewart track, a girl came up and asked if I took requests. I told her I was not set up for it, but asked her what it was she wanted. Remarkably, it was a track I was thinking about putting on anyway: “Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?” by Soft Cell, the 12” extended mix. I told her I could never play that track. She said she was asking for a friend. She leaves. I see them in the back putting on their coats, so I fade “Knock On Wood” early to keep them in house.

The “friend” came up later and asked for “Car Wash” – you know 🎶“workin’ at the CAR WASH݉🎶 – darn it! I would have totally played that. Need to get that and “Love Rollercoaster,” too.

I was finishing up close to 1 and had plans to end on the Khruangbin track, when a lady my age came up and asked for New Order, and I hurried to look for the “Temptation” 7” I had just noticed earlier, and I had to throw ESG in to buy time. I found it with about 30 seconds to go in the track, and hurriedly cued it up and let it rip. I had forgotten how great that track is.

I didn’t want to end on it; I like to have slower, downtempo or other different styles of music to transition to the regularly scheduled program. So I got the wonderful Junior Murvin to finish up.

I really love doing this gig. I really take it seriously, and want to do things in a different way, but still help the Spacebar provide a good vibe. It’s important to me that people enjoy themselves, and are surprised by things. One thing I’ve noticed from the younger people is that they know a lot of the older music as well as the new, probably because it’s been in so many movies and video games, and Tik-Toks and the like. I approve of the fact that there is no mass audience any more. It always bugged me anyway. Not the music necessarily, just the sameness. I liked some of the songs, and I am not immune to nostalgia for time and place. I just accept it. That’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been. Thanks for reading. -Mossback

Next Third Space Saturday is January 20th,2024!

Track List

George Clinton, Do Fries Go With That Shake 12” single

M|A|R|R|S, Pump Up The Volume 12” single 45 RPM

Van McCoy & The Soul City Symphony, The Hustle (Disco Mix) 12” single 33 RPM

Pointer Sisters, He’s So Shy 7” single 45 RPM

Police, Message In A Bottle 7” single 45 RPM

Jackson Browne, The Boulevard 7” single 45 RPM

Eddie Rabbitt, Drivin’ My Life Away 7” single 45 RPM

The S.O.S. Band, Take Your Time ((Do It Right) 7” single 45 RPM

Tears For Fears, Change 7” single 45 RPM

Fun Boy Three, Our Lips Are Sealed 7” single 45 RPM

GO-GO’s, We Got The Beat 7” single 45 RPM

Tom Robinson Band, 2-4-6-8 Motorway 7” single 45 RPM

The System, You Are In My System LP cut

Level 42, Something About You Extended play promo thing, Shep Pettibone mix 33 RPM

Climax Blues Band, Couldn’t Get It Right 7” single 45 RPM

Chic, Dance,Dance,Dance (yowsah, yowsah, yowsah) 12” single see below 33 RPM

Fatback Band, Take It Any Way You Want It LP cut

Althea and Donna, Uptown Top Ranking LP cut

Heatwave, The Groove Line 7” single 45 RPM

Beastie Boys, Brass Monkey LP cut

Pete Shelley, Telephone Operator 12” single 45 RPM

Kylie Minogue, Can’t Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head 12” single 33 RPM

Laid Back, White Horse 12” single 45 RPM

Coldcut Featuring Lisa Stansfield, People Hold On (Radio Mix) 12” single

Killing Joke, Follow The Leaders LP cut

DEVO, Turn Around 7” single 45 RPM

Snoop Dogg, Drop It Like It’s Hot 12” single 33 RPM

King Curtis, Jump Back 7” single 45 RPM

Otis & Carla, TRAMP 7” single 45 RPM

Abyssinians, Declaration Of Rights LP cut

Bobby Brown, My Prerogative 7” single 45 RPM

The Cure, Let’s Go To Bed 12” single (Fiction Records extended mix) 45 RPM

Michael Jackson, Rock With You 7” single 45 RPM

Naked Eyes, Promises Promises 7” single 45 RPM

Taste Of Honey, Boogie Oogie Oogie LP cut

Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls 12” single 33 RPM

Notorious B.I.G., Gimme The Loot LP cut

Vibrators, Keep It Clean LP cut

Bush Tetras, Too Many Creeps 7” single 45 RPM

Simple Minds, Promised You A Miracle 12” single (45 rpm cut, import)

Gary Numan, Cars LP cut

Gap Band, You Dropped A Bomb On Me LP cut

The Cramps, Domino Gravest Hits ep 45 RPM

Wreckz-N-Effect, Rump Shaker 12” single 33 RPM

Amii Stewart, Knock On Wood 12” single 33 RPM

Soft Cell, Tainted Love 12” single 45 RPM

David Bowie, Let’s Dance 12” single 33 RPM

KC & The Sunshine Band, Get Down Tonight LP cut

SKEE-LO, I Wish 12” single 33 RPM

Vince Staples, Big Fish LP cut

Patrice Rushen, Forget-Me-Nots 7” single 45 RPM

Human League, Sound Of The Crowd LP cut

Missing Persons, Words EP

UB40, King LP cut

Khruangbin, Evan Finds The Third Room LP cut

E.S.G., You’re No Good 7” single 45 RPM

New Order, Temptation 7” single 33 RPM

Junior Murvin, Police & Thief 7” single 45 RPM

0013

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters

Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)

Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:

I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.

Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.

Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.

Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.

(read more under the cut)

Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.

Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.

Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.

It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.

And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.

And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.

But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.

Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.

For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.

Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.

Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.

Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.

Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.

After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.

Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?

Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”

Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”

Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?

Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.

They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)

So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.

Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.

Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.

That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.

Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.

After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.

and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.

Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.

Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.

There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.

Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.

Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.

In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.

Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D

Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.

Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot. 

How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”

Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.

This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.

And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.

Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.

And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)

And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.

So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.

Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

See you next time!

[vanillann]

‘tis the damn season (reggie peters x f.reader)

yes i’m 16 and obsessed with a children’s show, what about it?

inspires by “‘tis the damn season” by taylor swift

also i have no clue if i’m going to start writing for jatp or not so...

waring: bad angst and the word damn

word count: 1.6k

“‘tis the season,” Reggie fell back on the couch with the bright red cheeks and little giggles.

Luke looked to Alex, begging with his eyes to smack him but Alex shook his head. The three were waiting for Bobby to grab the sandwiches from the deli and they’d be working on another song, but Reggie had other plans.

“She’ll be here in two days,” Reggie felt the need to give a visible representation, putting up two fingers for all to see.

“Yeah we know, you’ve been reminding us since September,” Luke bite back, looking at Reggie with dangerous eyes.

“Oh Luke, you’re just not in the headspace to understand,” Reggie brushed off, starting at the ceiling above him, laughing to himself as he imagined her face.

“I can’t do this again,” Luke whispered to Alex, looking over. Alex shrugged, the drumstick banging against his leg with a nice little beat that Luke would have to ask him about later.

“It makes Reg happy,” Alex shrugged, looking to the boy in question quickly. He had a dopey look on his face, a little hum of a song on the tip of his tongue.

“Until she leaves to go back home,” Luke mumbled, worried for his friend.

Luke liked (Y/N), I mean he truly believed Reggie and her were soulmates, but every year she came for the holiday and she left a week later.

While Reggie used that week to his advantage, treating others as if they’ve been together for years, they were just two friends as she got back in her car to ride back to the Midwest.

Then Reggie was a heartbroken wreck, mumbling sad songs at practice and missing chords. It happened every time, every year, and Luke didn’t want to watch him wreck himself again.

Alex and Luke both slowly stood up, leaving the boy to look dreamily into the sky. They wander to the other side of the garage, looking over their shoulder every so often.

“Look I get it, she’s great but it’s this holiday fling that Reggie can’t handle.”

Alex understood Luke’s outburst, everyone was thinking it but it wasn’t going to end well if they tried to talk Reggie out of his infatuation. She was perfect for him and it was enough for Reggie to see her once a year.

“I’m back,” Bobby slid in through the garage door, holding bags of sandwiches in his hand as he dropped them to the table.

“Careful with mine,” Luke yelped out, running over to the table and forgot the topic of Reggie's little hometown girl as a whole.

*

Reggie bounced up and down, sitting on the bench by her parent’s house, the cold wind that blew across Reggie's face was odd for California but Reggie didn’t care about that now.

She was coming home for the holidays, that’s all that mattered.

He spotted the red car pulled around the corner of the small street, the one Reggie skated minutes ago with a joyous laugh.

As the car passed by, he spotted her little wave through the window. Her smile was as bright as the sun against a coastline.

Reggie would have to remember that line, Luke would like it.

Once the car was completely parked, the large door swung open. The sound of high heel boots slammed against the pavement with little giggles in-between.

“Reggie!”

“(Y/N)!”

Reggie stood from the bench, laughing as the girl launched herself into Reggie’s leather jacket-clad arms as if it was home. The familiar scent of one another was comforting and perfect, to say the least.

“I’ve missed you,” Reggie whispered into the nape of the poor girl's neck, the goofiest smile sketch across his face as if he was that thing Alex talked about.

Some painted ceiling?

In Rome or something?

“Not as much as I missed you.”

Those words made Reggie forget the question he had, just happy to hear her.

“That’s so not possible.”

*

“When did you learn to ice skate?”

(Y/N) shrugged, her skates leaving little marks in the giant ice. Reggie was thankful when Bobby found this place the other week, the boy enjoyed the people watching and the holiday vibes they got for it.

“I’m just a natural,” Reggie appreciated the way she smiled with her tongue between her teeth, a little goofy shrug as she moved closer to Reggie.

“I’ll teach you,” her hand slipped into his with ease, as if they were made to fit. If you asked Reggie, he’d respond with a “well duh” and continue talking about the girl in front of him.

She pulled him off the rail, smiling as she watched his ankle wobble as soon as she did.

“I got you jeez,” she laughed, reaching over to grab Reggie’s other hand for extra support.

He didn’t even think to look at his skate, too caught up in the girl in front of him. Reggie was watching the way she watched both their skate carefully, worried to let him collapse if she didn’t.

Reggie knew he would write all of Sunset Curves' love songs about her.

Who wouldn’t write love songs about someone who smiled like that?

“You’re staring,” (Y/N) smirks, looking back at their skates as soon as she spoke.

“Well duh.”

*

“How is fashion going?”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, obviously not happy with how the dream of hers is going.

“I hate it, it doesn’t feel like what I thought it was,” she let her feet rest in Reggie's lap, laying back on the couch as they both waited for the rest of the band.

Reggie was excited to show her how much better he’s gotten at bass, but now he was worried. He never once felt like that about his dream.

“Are you sure you wanna do fashion?”

“Not anymore,” she spoke gently, pulling at the sweater sleeve with a sad little smile.

“I might just give up.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Reggie spoke, waiting for the words he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

If she quit fashion she’d come home.

“I don’t know, I just need to figure it out.”

She didn’t say anything, just looking at her shoes that sat in Reggie’s lap.

“You could always take a break, stay here for a while.”

Reggie didn’t want to hold her back, no he would never, but she didn’t seem happy and he couldn’t help think maybe she’d be happy here with him.

“You know I can’t Reg, my parents can’t afford another mouth to feed,” she reached out to brush a piece of the hair that had fallen in his eyes.

“I know,” he wanted to tell her to move in with him, but she didn’t deserve to hear the fighting and he could sell Bobby's garage to her.

“Maybe one day,” she spoke gently, the sound of the doors whipping open didn’t make Reggie feel any better.

“(Y/N)!” Alex pranced to the girl, a goofy smile as he wrapped his long arms around her.

“Alex,” she smiled gently, doing her best to brush the conversation to the side.

She would have stayed, she felt home here with Reggie and his band. Her friends in the city were cold and rude, ready to backstab you when their time was coming. Reggie would be good for her, a new setting and one she needed.

But she couldn’t have it.

So he’d have to stick with calling her babe for a weekend.

*

“Last one,” Reggie stuffed the last bag in the trunk of the car, watching it closely as he thought of what was about to happen.

“Thank you for helping.”

(Y/N) had just finished saying goodbye to her family, slowly walking out to find Reggie had backed every bag that sat outside the car.

“With all your bags you’d think you’d stay longer,” Reggie spoke absentmindedly, looking at the sticker covering it. He smiled when he saw his band logo drawn on the side.

“Time flies when you’re having fun, right?”

Reggie nodded, the emotions already hitting him as he waited. He was going to regret this, but he couldn’t keep doing this.

“Don’t leave,” his voice cracked, which made (Y/N) more nervous to answer.

“I have to Reg-”

“But you hate it there,” Reggie turned to look at her, his boyish charm gone as fast as it would have normally come.

“I can’t stay Reg, this town isn’t for me anymore.”

She knew he meant well, she didn’t want to leave him anymore but her life wasn’t made for this city.

“But I’m in this town,” she could just barely make out his words with how many emotions were in them.

She slowly walked closer, wrapping her arms around his center. He let his hands rub circles on her back, wondering where to go from here.

“We’re going to have to stop, aren’t we?”

Reggie only nodded, knowing neither of them could do this “friends that weren’t friend” thing anymore, not when it only lasted a week a year.

“I’m sorry Reg, I don’t wanna leave-”

“I understand,” Reggie gave his last light-hearted smile, moving from behind the car, opening the driver side door for her.

She said nothing, nodding as slowly sitting in her seat for the next few hours of her drive.

“’tis the season, right?”

Reggie nodded, trying his best not to be broken the last time she saw him.

“’tis the season,” he muttered under his breath, nodding as she started the car when he closed the door. She backed out the driveway with ease, her eyes trained on the road.

“’tis the damn season,” Reggie spoke under his breath.

He knew at that moment, he’d write all of Sunset Curves heartbreak songs about her.

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[astorytotellyourfriends]

so if fall out boy influences luke/bobby, what bands influence other pairings?

anon, i want you to know that i have been thinking about this - or really agonizing over it - since you sent it 8 days ago. i just really needed time to properly think about this (and also to stop listening to fall out boy on repeat so i could really do it justice)

now, not every song by these bands (which are all pop punk because i have a Favorite Genre okay) fits the pairing but i think the overall vibe of most of them probably does work (a little too well, maybe, idk) and i've picked out some specific examples to go along with them so... let's get into it.

first up, Alex and Luke.

for them, i've picked Taking Back Sunday. for me, it's the dueling vocals - the push and pull mixed with cutting lyrics that just remind me so much of Alex's sarcasm. it works well for Luke too because he's passionate and totally would say things in the heat of the moment that are just crushing. i just think TBS' overall sound really fits them in that sort of frenemies to lovers type of way.

the song that came to mind (or that really clicked in my head for them) is This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know) specifically for the line: "well it caught up and honestly the weight of my decisions were impossible to hold, but they were never yours"

i just can't help but imagine Luke having all of these hopes and dreams and NEEDING to do everything and anything he can to make them come true and Alex trying so hard to do whatever he can to help but there constantly being a struggle between them because Luke wants more than Alex can give.

next, Luke and Reggie.

it's totally ridiculous, but stay with me: Simple Plan. drag me all you want lol but i love Simple Plan and i think they're PERFECT for these idiots. setting aside some of their more emo songs (i'm looking at you, Untitled) there's such fun energy and absurdity to so many of their songs that it just SCREAMS Luke and Reggie to me.

like, take Addicted: "I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you, but I want it and I need it, I'm addicted to you" I JUST!!!

i think that their personalities together just lends itself to an absolute whirlwind of emotions and they both feel so strongly that they can't help but love with their whole hearts right off the bat. it's too much!!

now, Alex and Reggie.

for them, i think Jimmy Eat World fits best. i've been listening to them for years and they just always fill me with this sense of wonder for the world and like... i think Reggie does the same for Alex. because yeah, Reggie's a little naïve at times and Alex has to watch out for him more often than not but that's part of why they work so well together. Alex's anxiety and cynicism are balanced by Reggie's genuine appreciation and wonder for every little thing in the world.

the line that sticks out most for me is from Polaris: "I feel that when I'm old I'll look at you and know the world was beautiful"

Alex worries about everything all the time, it's just who he is. but with Reggie, sometimes he can take a step back, take a breath, and just appreciate the moment for what it is. Reggie just wants to show Alex that the world isn't always scary, and he's right there by his side when it is.

onto Bobby and Reggie.

personally, i think Paramore fits them to a T. specifically the album After Laughter, since i just see the music as Reggie and the lyrics as Bobby. it sounds so upbeat, so bouncy, so happy - but then you listen to the lyrics closely and you're like oh. oh, i'm sad.

but!!! it's so good!!! like this line in Pool: "when you kiss me I wish we could see what happens next, for a moment I could forget what happens in my head" just screams Bobby @ Reggie to me because I think Reggie would do the same sort of thing for Bobby that he would for Alex, only where Alex is anxious, Bobby is maybe a little on the depressed side of things. he's got a chip on his shoulder, and while that's really just my interpretation of him, i think that Reggie would go out of his way to just TRY and make him smile.

for Sunset Curve (because i'm skipping Alex/Bobby, i didn't come up with anything for them sorry), i'm picking my favorite band of all time. The Matches.

SPECIFICALLY their first album, E. Von Dahl Killed the Locals, but even more specifically, the song More Than Local Boys.

"we make noise, what else could we choose? we're gonna be more than local boys and shake shake shake the dust off these shoes"

i know The Matches never hit it big and there's a very large chance you have no idea who they are and wouldn't know this - but in the show when Luke talks about how Sunset Curve basically played anywhere and everywhere they could to get gigs - The Matches literally did that. they were outside of EVERY show in the Bay Area playing their songs, handing out flyers, doing anything they could to get their music out there. i just... there's no other band i would ever pick, bottom line. end of story.

ok this has gotten REALLY long and i apologize for that but let's do an honorable mention of Julie/Luke just for the hell of it. the band? Yellowcard. honestly, it all comes down to their song Only One.

"here I go, scream my lungs out to try to get to you, you are my only one. I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do. you are my only, my only one"

I rest my case.

[theobligatedklutz]

ray falling head over heals for rose when he went to one of their shows to support his cousin nayelis, drummer of rose & the petal pushers. she played piano and guitar and he was awe struck by the sheer joy she had playing and interacting with the crowd; it was infectious. his palms were sweaty when nayelis tugged his arm and shoved him in rose's direction. rose looked so self assured. (he finds out later, she was nervous, too. nayelis told her about ray, she thought they would be a 1/2

ANON, YOUR MIND. 

So I'm going to cry. But I am also going to take your hcs and run with them:

Nayelis is 15 when she meets Rose. She is this confident, beautiful woman and she works the room with an unimaginable charm so naturally, she and Nayelis become best friends in a span of a day. Their love of music is what really brings them together. Rose shreds on the keyboard and guitar. She is incredible. They end up writing a ton of songs together and Rose quickly learns that Nayelis is soft inside but rough around the edges, poetry epitomized.

Rose introduces Nayelis to her childhood friends, Kiera and Ashlyn. And the four of them can't seem to get enough of each other. Kiera is chaotic, can chug seven sodas in a matter of minutes (three minutes is her best record) and it's literally never a dull day with her in sight. Ashlyn is the one who gets them out of trouble most of the time - and they get into trouble a lot - and is perpetually tired of their shenanigans but lets it slide because she secretly loves them too much.  

And so forms Rose and the Petal Pushers with Rose as lead singer and guitarist, Nayelis as drummer, Kiera on the keyboard and Ashlyn on the bass.

At 17, she meets Sunset Curve working the Orpheum Theatre. They are up and coming, they sound fantastic and their music touches Rose's soul. The lyrics to Now or Never seem to resonate with her at a deeper level than most songs that bounce around the walls of the theatre. She is absolutely digging their vibe even after Reggie, their bassist, tries terribly to flirt with her- I mean “size beautiful” come on now. But Bobby is the dorkiest, attempting to nervously ask her out after his other band mates go out for hot dogs. That whole incident sours drastically when the news of Luke, Reggie and Alex's death reach them.

Bobby and Rose end up somehow getting closer after the tragedy, they go on a few dates too but it doesn’t stick. It just never becomes romantic between them so they end up being good friends.

At 21, Rose and the Petal Pushers get a lot of gigs because Rose has an "in" with most of the cafes and clubs around town. Since 16, she's bounced from job to job waitressing and bartending so of course she does. And they are popular amongst the teens like no other. They rise even higher when they produce a demo, get even more gigs and it's at their set at the Oracle Theatre that everything falls into place. Rose is swaying to the music, feeling like the strings of her guitar have become part of her, her limbs, everything is so natural and every beat sounds like the badum badum badum of their hearts, it all feels like a dream and Rose realizes this is what she is destined for when she hears the roar of the crowd as she sings the chorus and she can't help but laugh into the lyrics just a little. The crowd takes it all in like they're in desperate need of her infectious joy.

Nayelis introduces Rose to her cousin, Ray, afterwards. She's mentioned him before, how he was a really amazing photographer and he could really do a rad album cover for them. But she had also mentioned Ray was totally her type and "are you trying to set me up with your cousin?" "So what if I am, Ro, music has been your life pretty much all your life. Live a little." "I'm fine, thank you very much." But Nayelis had failed to mention that Ray is adorable.

He's fidgeting and she can't help get nervous because he's cute. There's this shine in his grey? green? eyes like he knows Rose, like they've connected somehow. There's a raspyness to his voice, like he's a little out of breath, as he tells Rose she was fantastic up there. And Rose tries to be smooth, she really does but Ray is still looking at her like that and of course, she gets more nervous but she's got practice being something she's not: confident.

They dance around each other like the dumbasses they are. Nayelis can't stand it, it's so painful to watch. Somehow they've ended up friends, really good friends. Ray is willing to pluck the bright hot stars right out of the night sky for Rose and Rose has Ray withdrawals whenever he's not around. They seem to fit together like a puzzle, Rose's rambunctiousness and Ray's softspokenness.

He brings Dahlias for her whenever he shows up to "hangout" and one day, Nayelis just about loses it when he shows up at band practice- they are practicing for the Orpheum, it's their big night in two days and Ray is here and Nayelis knows that if she wants Rose to bring lovejoylife into their performance, she needs Rose and Ray to get their shit together so she gives fate one last chance before she'll butt in and do it herself.

She drags Ashlyn and Kiera out the door, tells Rose they're going to take a small break and leaves her cousin and best friend alone in the garage. And Rose doesn't waste any time dragging Ray over to the piano - "I wrote a little thing for you, I wanna show you" -, they sit down, sides pressed together and shoulders brushing and she starts delicately playing a soft tune on the piano. Her voice comes in after a little while into the music and it is so beautiful, so angelic, Ray feels light. And the song is about seeing so many faces but not recognizing a single soul, not until you came into my life and then everything turned sharp and full and vivid and colored. Her nimble fingers move against the keys in a graceful dance. Her side profile is lit up by the sunlight filtering through the windows and with that voice, she seems like she doesn't belong on earth, she looks otherworldly. Ray knows she's singing about him and it makes him giddy, he feels like he's going to float off into space. Rose stops suddenly then and turns her face towards him and he freezes. They are so close, there's merely an inch between them. And she kisses him, soft and slow, much like her fingers against the piano and her silky voice. And he kisses back like he's been waiting for a lifetime and honestly, he has.

Kiera, Ashlyn and Nayelis watch from the garage window with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They play the best show known to man at the Orpheum that Friday.

It's nearly July in 2021 when Julie finds a fraying fading photograph cleaning her dad's folders off the dinner table. It falls out from one of his many work binders and Julie picks it up slowly and carefully. Julie's mouth falls open. There are four girls in the photo, they are standing in a garage much like the one they have. The girl with the wild curls is definitely her mother, unmistakably so by that bright smile on her face. She's wearing a guitar against her hip and has the rock-on fingers up. And Julie takes a minute to take in the other women and then recognition dawns, there's the drummer, Aunt Nayelis Molina, her faded brown hair longer and tucked into a pony tail. There's Kiera Simmons, Flynn's mother, she looks the same as she does now - and Julie is shocked because how does she still look so young??- her braids flailing about as she pretends to play the keyboard. And then there's Ashlyn Wilson. Same features except her hair is shorter and dyed pink at the tips, she's wearing more leather and has a bass against her side. And oh my god, it all makes sense. These are Flynn and Carrie's moms standing together on a stage next to her mom and Aunt Nayelis. They were in a band together. Rose and the Petal Pushers is the name written on the drumset- the same name on the ticket in her mom's clothing chest. And it all makes sense! How Carrie and Flynn had always been by her side, how she has known these girls since she was old enough to remember.

Something else dawns on her, she understands now why she felt such automatic attraction to Luke on stage. She brushes a finger against the guitar settled on Rose Molina's hip. Guitar. Luke somehow unknowingly reminded her of the same energy her mother had when she played the guitar on stage and for her in the studio. The same connection to the audience. The same willingness to leaves pieces of themselves with the crowd. The same love for music and mayhem. And Julie stands there in silence because this world is too small, time is too short and too grand simultaneously, there are all these webbed connections she didn't even know about and it should be overwhelming but it all slots together perfectly.

[trevor-wilson-covington]

The Possibilities...Part 2

// After the last post of the CD covers I did went over so well with y’all, I decided to do the other 13 songs in the show and added in some character themed ones as well. Hope y’all like these ones as much as you did the last batch. I have 20, so they’ll be in 2 separate posts! 😊😄

** I also gave little descriptions for each cover to explain why I chose a certain pic, how I came up with the character or band specific logo in the top corner, and/or any other needed explanations (like college age looking characters or what’s up with Caleb).**

PART 1

~ For this one, I was deciding between a neon sign of a rainbow or going for a more generic picture of someone on a cliff side for lyrics like “That we're standing on the edge of...Something big, something crazy...Our best days are yet unknown...That this moment is ours to own...'Cause we're standing on the edge of great”. In the end, I liked the rainbow neon heart the most because it felt like it connected with lyrics “Shout, shout...C'mon and let it out, out...Don't gotta hide it...Let your colors blind their eyes...Be who you are, no compromise” really well. 

Logo: The band logo inside a Dahlia, which, depending on the CD cover, changes color to fit its background better

~ This cover I looked forward to as I worked on all the other ones, as I had found this art back when I was doing aesthetic/mood boards of the songs late last year. It is an amazing fit for the song and the control Caleb and his curse have over the boys as they perform it, a puppet master controlling his puppets for his own gain. 

Logo: Took the logo I had done my best to recreate for OSOH and used it here

~ Finally, for this one I had between stuck between doing this flower (or weed, idek) picture or one of 3 options of ones with trees that were miraculously still standing in the middle of a lake or in a foggy field. All encapsulated the feeling of standing strong and lyrics like “Even if I'm the last standing...I'ma stand tall...I'ma stand tall” very well, but a mutual and I decided the flower best represented Julie and the incredible strength/bravery she showcased going up on that stage and performing without the boys. Like the flower, Julie was persevering and deciding even without her band, her family, by her side she would “keep on going when it's all falling apart” because she’s “gotta keep on dreaming...’gotta catch that feeling" like the strong, amazing performer she is and always has been. 

Logo: The band logo inside a Dahlia, matching the color of the flower, Julie, because they’re a family now  

~ For Julie and the rest of the teens, I decided that it would be alright to age up because trying to find an exact match to their ages and looks using the resources I had was going to be practically impossible. This pic I had used for a Julie/Rose, mother-daughter mood board last year and thought it would work great here. (If i did do something wrong with this representation of Julie in regards to skin tone, let me know)

Logo: The same thing, Julie’s initials inside a Dahlia, that I used in Part 1 of this post set for songs she performed alone

~ I had a few options for a Luke pic, including 2 that ended up being too Charlie for this post, but when I found this pic I thought this would work best. Trying to find a pic that captures his hair, the beanie, and his style while also somewhat resembling Luke is stressful and impossible without likely losing my mind in the process. So, I decided a vague resemblance would work and decided to use my artistic license to say this is how I am choosing to represent our ghost himbo leading singer. The beanie felt right and not having the person’s whole face visible allowed for use of the imagination and for that air of mystery Luke aims to give off. 

Logo: I made a special logo for Luke of his initials in the same font as I used for them in the PH cover logo, but for this logo decided to put them atop a journal to represent the one he writes all his songs in and holds as sacred and many times off-limits to others      

~ For Alex, I also had a hard time finding a close enough match that worked to represent him through hair, clothing, or even stature. I ended up finding this pic, of an actor from Outer Banks I believe, that seemed to fit the Alex vibe well enough to me, despite not have any of those matching clothing items or a perfect match for hairstyle. 

Logo: For this one I went with the expected, default fanny pack with his initials on it because there wasn’t quite any other sticker options on the site I use for these that screamed Alex and the fanny pack is intrinsic to his character (and we love it)

~ Now for Reggie, I was able to find a pic that had both his look and allowed for him to have an instrument, even if I couldn’t for the other 2 himbos. It’s a pic of a member of The Neighbourhood performing and the leather jacket/white shirt, hair, and what I believe is a bass guitar fit with Reggie so well. I had 2 options of pics of this band member from 2 angles, but ended up deciding this one looked best. 

Logo: A cowboy on a horse to represent Reggie and his country music career dreams, plus ‘Home Is Where My Horse Is’, with his initials in a fitting font over it  

~ While I was hesitant to use a pic of 2 girls on the ‘Flying Solo’ cover in an attempt to not unintentionally represent Madi and Jadah’s skin tones wrong, for this one just aiming to represent Flynn by herself I did my best to find a pic of a girl that not only got Flynn’s hair as we see it in the show represented but also had a close match to her/Jadah’s skin tone. Here’s to hoping I did her justice (but if I still did do something wrong with this representation of Flynn in those regards, let me know)! I thought the outfit, while not as eclectic as Flynn’s on the show, worked well for a casual look for Flynn in like Senior year of high school or even college, since the pics age all these characters up a bit. 

Logo: For the logo I went with a turntable sticker and Flynn’s initials, including letters for ‘no last name’ as people have used for her in post tags, until we learn of a last name for her hopefully in the future

~ While looking for neon sign pics for other CD covers in this post set I came across many with people in them, a handful that also would have worked for Carrie, before finding this one among them. I loved the neon glow off the girl and the close match, as far as I can tell in the lighting, to Carrie/Savannah’s strawberry blonde hair. The outfit, similar to Flynn’s, works for end of high school or during college, where Carrie might dress in toned down versions of her usual style, we see her in during the show. The piercing and more carefree demeanor being effects of her letting go of the image she hid behind in HS and becoming a more authentic Carrie. 

Logo: I chose to put her initials over a diamond both because I wanted to use a diamond like I almost did for the pic in the ‘WOW’ cover and because of the diamond’s symbolism of things like strength/power, creativity, and balance/clarity

~ Finally, for Caleb I had originally had a sepia colored picture of a magician looking guy in a top hat looking out onto the ocean or some body of water with his back to the camera...then I found this one. My mutual, who has been helping me with this post set, and I nicknamed him ‘Sexy Caleb’! He just gives off that suave, over-the-top magician vibe that is kinda Caleb’s thing. Since the rest of the characters were merely resemblance pics of the characters, I thought why not just go that route with Caleb’s and have fun with it. This was the result and I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I do! 

Logo: Went with the default sticker of a top hat for Caleb’s logo because it just works so well to represent him and the added initials on it almost look like goggles, like he wears in the very last scene of the season

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here and honestly hesitant to post because trust me, I'm soooo ready to roll around in the salt too. But when you're ready to come out, or just take a break (not really expecting it today) let's talk about Seven. Admittedly this is more a song for Malex fans than Malex because WE ARE READY!! But also we know once we get past the first few episodes with Forest we WILL see Malex moving toward each other, not "sinking when I'm standing in one place". Possibly weirdly cheery considering.

Okay, so I do have A LOT of salt (there is a particularly high-sodium m*ria post that's been in my drafts for ages that might see the light of day after some of the takes I've seen today 🙄) but I am excited for Malex and OMG you picked the PERFECT song. I was listening and reading along with the lyrics (not sure why this isn't in my rotation ALL THE TIME because it's so good, but I subscribed to the Atlas project while it was in process and got the songs emailed to me and I may have missed downloading this one or at least moving it to my iPod?) and it's SOOOOO GOOD for Malex! (sidebar I have quite a few friends who are sevens so this made me double smile today, so thank you.)

So, lest anyone think I'm not super excited along with being worried and salty, lets talk about some JOYFUL MALEX REUNION! This song is so bright and bubbly and happy and so hopeful about looking forward and I am HERE for these vibes today!

how nice it’d be if we could try everything. i’m serious, let’s make a list and just begin. “what about danger?” so what. “what about risk?” let’s climb this mountain before we cross that bridge! ‘cause i’m restless, i’m restless, i’m restless for whatever comes next.

Right away, this is (as we always say) the energy I want to manifest for Malex at some point this season. Especially loving the "what about danger/risk" thing because that's what's been holding Malex back, is them both being so in love, but so afraid after getting burned that they won't admit to their true feelings, leaving them BOTH thinking the other cares less than they do. CLOWNS, I tell you! But it's time to say enough! and stop borrowing trouble. We NEED to see them talking this season and I am ready. I also love this idea of being restless for whatever comes next because for so long neither had much hope looking toward the future. Alex went from an abusive household to living in active war zones and nearly died at least once that we know of. And being enlisted, his life isn't ever really his own. And Michael, after not taking that college scholarship kinda resigned himself to sticking around to care for Isobel (and wait for Alex to come back) but that glimmer of hope he had at the end of season 2 was nice to see, no matter how I feel about the scene as a whole, because it means he is ready to start working for the life he wants. I'm ready for them to be restless to move forward.

how wonderful to see a smile on your face. it costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade. a secret handshake between me and my one life: i’ll find the silver lining no matter what the price. ‘cause i’m hungry, oh i’m hungry, i’m hungry for whatever comes next.

Oh man, when this verse came on I was like, are you KIDDING ME?! It's just, so on point for them I squealed a bit! (It's been a long day, I might have started drinking already, and seeing Alex and Michael on screen again just kinda broke my brain okay?) It's no secret have mixed feelings about jealous/pining Michael, but honestly most of that stems from being Tired(TM) of people being excited to see Michael hurting and want him to grovel and be miserable, while propping up f*rlex the same way m*luca was touted as a "breath of fresh air" (that phrase is ruined for me forever now) but I think it's actually so on brand for Michael as a character but the season 2 writing was so god awful that getting it now doesn't really fit. But I'm more than happy to leave season 2 rotting in a morgue because seeing Vlamis with the glassy eyes? *chef's kiss*. THE POINT IS, I want to see Michael putting on that brave face and being excited to welcome Alex back. (BRB, sobbing about "it costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade) The "silver lining" makes me think of Alex so much and I'm excited to see where this season takes him and to see him and Michael both starting to have that little bit of shy hope and excitement about where they are headed. But when they kiss? Oooooh, when they kiss, they are going to be "hungry for whatever comes next"

let me tell you another secret of the trade- it feels like sinking when i’m standing in one place. so i look to the future and i book another flight. when everything feels heavy, i’ve learned to travel light.

Oh man this gives me such Alex feels with the way he has always been running, been moving, trying to escape from the grip his dad had on him. But this season really feels like we are going to see both Alex and Michael (who is tired of stagnating) looking to the future and what it can bring. Here's hoping for a lighter story for the love moving forward. Even if everything else is heavy, I want them to be able to rest and recover and find peace in their love.

but i want to be here. truly. be. here. to watch the ones that i love bloom. and i want to make room to love them through and through and through  and through the slow and barren seasons too.

It's time for Alex to stop running and I am HERE for it. He stuck around all last season but...the less said about last season the better. And now we know he left again but is coming back and Michael is excited about it (which means he knew Alex was coming back and has been waiting for it!!) plus, Michael looks good so I think he's ready to start living more in the present than stuck in the past like he has been, same with Alex.

i feel hope deep in my bones tomorrow will be beautiful and i’m ready, God i’m ready, oh i’m ready, restless and hungry, but i’m ready for whatever comes next.

This is the energy I want for Malex this season and I am actually really hopeful we are going to get it! Excellent choice today, Nonnie! This was exactly what I needed!

[tirednotflirting]

happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

a day late on getting this here but!!! some bday jalex i wrote for @reveriesofawriter​‘s bday! sticking to our all taylor is jalex brand, it’s a 22 fic :) 

kinda fits within the marble mansion wus writing universe that my pretty venom fic is in if you want more of these boys (they’re quite sweet i think)

here this is on ao3 if that’s more ur jam x

Alex is a planner. 

Early on, being a frontman meant he was the first person anyone trying to coordinate band things reached out to, and as time went on, he embraced the role. He likes organizing and keeping track of the who and when and where of it all. He likes the sticky notes and his planner and the dry-erase board he keeps on his fridge for lists. He likes knowing what is coming next.

Alex never meant to fall in love with his best friend. He never planned on Jack.

They’ve reached the point where they should probably have an adult conversation about whatever it is that’s going on between them. Honestly they probably reached that point half a decade ago, but Alex knows neither of them was ready for it then. He wonders if they’re really both ready now. He knows he is. But it scares him a little to think about what happens if the other involved party isn’t.

That conversation and what it might sound like is what Alex is thinking about as he watches the end of the sunset over the desert from the edge of the pool at the house they’re renting. He lets a wine glass dangle from his fingers, the last few sips of his pink wine swirling around the bottom. His feet slowly swing in the warm water to avoid splashing over the edge. For someone whose job it is to come up with words for feelings, he finds himself struggling with where to even begin. He wonders if that should feel significant.

He’s draining the last of his wine when he hears the back door slide open and feet pad over the stone in his direction. Just as he’s about to question who’s come to join him, the visitor sits behind him and legs drop to frame his body. Alex leans back into Jack’s chest and breathes in the scent of his cologne mixing with the nighttime air. Jack’s arms wrap around Alex and the mess of thoughts trying to piece together the conversation to be had word by word fades off to the back of Alex’s mind.

“What are you doing out here?” Jack asks, his lips brushing against Alex’s neck. Probably against his tattoo. Jack’s always particularly fond of pressing his lips there.

“Just finishing my wine,” Alex says, and lifts the empty glass as evidence. “Wanted to watch the sunset, too. Don’t think I’m ever going to want to say goodbye to this view.”

“You should get a house out here someday,” Jack says as he rocks them back and forth a little. Alex leans further into his chest. “This place has your vibes and the stars look really sick out here.”

Alex smiles at Jack thinking of his astronomy habits. “I like the way you think,” he agrees before turning to stand. “Is it time we go in and join the pregame?” 

Jack lifts a hand to be helped up and elects to keep holding Alex’s hand as they head in the direction of the door. “Why do you think I came out to find you?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex says as they approach the door, a blush painting across his cheeks. “Was just a little bit stuck in my head, trying to figure something out. Didn’t mean to leave the birthday boy waiting.”

Jack smiles and drops Alex’s hand before he reaches for the door handle. They’re in the desert in June, but Alex immediately misses the warmth. The two of them so easily gravitate physically toward one another when they’re together but they don’t hold hands in group settings. The way Alex wishes they did starts the spiral of words again. “Let me know if you need any help figuring whatever it is out?” Jack says as a worried look takes over his features.

Alex never wants to worry him, so he drops a hand to Jack’s back to guide him inside. He lets his answer to Jack’s question mix into a smile. Others in the living room grab Jack for shots. He shoots Alex a look as a lime is placed between his fingers; Alex points in the direction of the stairs and mouths need to change as he heads off. A smaller smile pulls at Jack’s lips as he nods and turns the rest of the group whining for him to join in. 

Alex takes a deep breath before making his way out of the room and only lifts his brows to acknowledge the knowing look from Rian as he climbs the stairs.

*

The club is loud. Alex isn’t sure why he always expects them not to be, but the sounds in his environment accompanied by the buzzing in his mind is almost overwhelming. 

He’s just grabbed another drink and when he gets back to the table their group has claimed for the night, Jack is sitting on the tabletop, his legs swinging as he talks to a couple of girls. Alex smirks as he watches Jack lift up the birthday sash someone had shown up with for him before they left the house (it’s pink and says I’m 21 Today! in sequins). The girls laugh before they wave and disappear into the crowd. Jack turns and his eyes brighten when they fall to Alex.

He scoots closer to where Alex sits and leans in. “What’s that?” he asks, pointing at the cup Alex has just come back with. 

Alex raises the drink in front of his face and frowns as his tipsy mind forgets whatever the drink was called. “Uh, pink?”

“Lemme try,” Jack says and plucks the cup from between Alex’s fingers. Alex hadn’t planned to argue with the request but he can practically hear Jack’s voice reciting the statement Alex has heard probably hundreds of times over the years: You can’t say no during birthweek.

Jack takes a sip and then leaves the cup beside him on the table. He nods thoughtfully for a moment before leaning back in so Alex can hear him. “You’re right, it tastes very pink.”

Alex laughs but before he can respond Jack is moving to sink into the seat beside him and his head drops to Alex’s shoulder. “Are clubs busier than they used to be? Feel like I can’t breathe in here,” he whines. Alex agrees, though he was ready to just blame it on their age. “Where are Rian and Zack?”

“They were talking to some girls at the bar, I think,” Alex explains. “Rian told one of them he’s a drummer and she basically melted, it was hilarious.”

“You think anyone in here has even heard an All Time Low song before?” Jack asks, his tone indicating he’s reached the kind of happy drunk where every thought that comes to mind has to leave his lips. 

“Maybe ‘Dear Maria’?” Alex offers as he drops his arm to rest against Jack’s back. His fingers trace lazy patterns against the soft fabric of his t-shirt. Jack hums but he doesn’t sound convinced.

Jack nuzzles his face into Alex’s neck and Alex hears him sigh. “Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?” Alex replies while his eyes track one of the bright lights circling around the room over the crowd on a dance floor.

Jack lifts his head up and throws Alex big brown puppy eyes. He can tell Jack’s about to ask him something and before he’s even heard the question he already knows his answer will be yes. He’s never been able to say no to Jack. 

“Can we leave?”

Alex laughs. “Thought birthweek had no time for quitters?” he jokingly asks, recalling something Jack yelled across the room at Zack when he tried turning down shots the night before.

“Please?” Jack asks. “It’s loud and I want a snack.”

“Anything for the birthday boy,” Alex replies with a nod. Jack smiles again at the response. “Thought I saw a diner down the road. Late night breakfast?”

“God, you’re the best.”

Jack slides out of the booth as Alex reaches for the jacket he shed shortly after they arrived. While they head toward the doors that lead out to the street, Alex sends a message to the group text (The BoyDay Boys) to let the crew know they’re headed off.

The nighttime air is cool when they step out onto the street. Alex can’t remember which direction they’re meant to head so he pauses once they’re out of the way of the entrance to the club and pulls out his phone again to figure out where they’re going. 

Another cool breeze blows down the street and Jack leans in closer to Alex’s side in response. It’s a frequent habit of his, the way he’s always trying to share Alex’s warmth. If Alex were a little more tipsy he probably would just wrap his arms around Jack’s waist as he leads them in the direction of the diner he’s successfully located. But he’s a little bit too self-aware for that at the moment so he elects to let Jack continue to lean into his side as they head down the street. 

They pass couples walking in the opposite direction, their fingers tangled or lips pressing together without a care in the world. Alex finds he feels something in the realm of jealousy, though he’s not sure that’s the right thing to call it. Loneliness, maybe? He knows he should just say something, just see if there’s any chance at all that Jack feels the same way about figuring out what the hell they are. But it’s been so easy to just teeter the line of something for as long as they have. Alex doesn’t want to scare him away by considering the idea of throwing a label on it. Every time he explains it to Rian like that when he asks, Alex is told he’s being ridiculous and have you seen the way he looks at you, Alex?, but the fear in the back of his mind won’t budge.

The line they tightrope across is confusing, Alex thinks. But even so, he’s not unhappy. Maybe this is just the way they’re meant to be. Confusing but happy. Alex could be okay with that.

It’s a short walk to the diner and Jack chats to Alex most of the way there about some party he went to the previous week. There had been a petting zoo for some unknown reason. Alex listens to Jack describe the animals he got to pet and the kitten that tried stealing some of his White Claw. Soon enough they reach the door and push through to inside, a tiny bell jingling over their heads as they enter. 

Someone behind the counter tells them they can seat themselves, that they’ll come find them in a minute for their drink orders. Jack wanders to a booth in the back of the room and Alex follows him. He waits to let Jack pick a side and slides into the one opposite him. A clock on the wall tells Alex it’s just past midnight, meaning Jack’s actual birthday has just finished. The celebrations should continue for another day or two.

A waitress comes to take their drink orders and they ask for a couple waters and a couple coffees and then they’re alone again. Jack squints his eyes down at the menu while Alex glances around the diner, ignoring the butterflies stirring whenever their knees knock together below the table and neither of them make any effort to move. 

The entire scene has waves of nostalgia crashing all around Alex. It’s a pretty regular event during Jack’s birthday celebrations that he and Alex slip away from the rest of the group to catch a moment of something more tranquil during all the crazy of the week-long party. 

It had become something Alex looked forward to every year. Usually when Jack’s birthday fell during a break from touring or between cycles, they would just go for a drive. Jack would find whatever couch or bed Alex had passed out on and pull him from sleep to go watch the sunrise or the sunset (his body clock was always thrown completely off balance during birthweek). 

He’d usually want to go to the beach. Jack would play navigator and call out directions to whichever beach involved the least amount of traffic to get to, in a voice rough both from sleep and from screaming along to Top 40 hits in karaoke bars and clubs around LA. Once there, they would walk all the way out to the water and let little waves splash against their ankles as the sun rose higher and higher or sunk lower and lower. Eventually Jack would smile and nod toward the Pacific and sigh a deep breath of salty air and that would be the cue that he was satisfied with the experience. They usually would end up at a diner like the one they’re at right now, sipping coffee with tired eyes and laughing over pancakes.

It’s probably a two hour drive to the coast from where they currently sit but if Jack had asked to go to the beach, Alex would have gotten him there without a second thought.

Jack moves so their long legs are all tangled together below the table, and it breaks Alex out of the nostalgic place he’d been transported to for a moment. He looks up to meet Jack’s tired, happy gaze. Alex raises his eyebrows in a silent question and a gleeful smile pulls across Jack’s cheeks.

“Do you think they’d put sprinkles in my pancakes if I tell them it’s my birthday?”

That’s when it hits Alex head on, like a dart hitting the bullseye. They walk a tightrope but there’s always been a net to catch them if need be just below their feet the whole time. The look Rian’s been trying to convince him to see for years is staring back from the other side of the booth, and it says everything in the most plain but beautiful way possible. It’s the same smile Jack would give to the Pacific just after the sun had set over the city of stars. Alex breaks into a quiet laugh and wonders if he’s ever not been in love with this sunshine of a boy sitting in front of him.

(They do put sprinkles in the pancakes. Rainbow ones. And add whipped cream and a candle too.)

*

It’s close to 1AM by the time they pay the check and head back out into the early morning desert air. They had enough water and coffee that they’re pretty much sober now. The moon shines bright down onto them as they stand in front of the diner, unsure of where to head next. 

“Want to take a walk?” Alex asks while pointing down a more quiet part of the street in the opposite direction they came from. 

“Sounds nice,” Jack agrees, and motions for Alex to lead the way.

They start down the sidewalk and let the nighttime noises play as their soundtrack for a few minutes. Jack breaks the silence to tell the story of something his mom told him about when he called her a couple days ago and at some point in the middle of the tale, he reaches for Alex’s hand and threads their fingers together so their joined hands swing between them. Alex continues listening as he looks down, and there’s some tiny part of his brain that tries to start making another set of pros and cons lists, but then he shakes the thought away and stops walking. 

Jack glances back with a confused look when he feels the pull on his arm. “What is it, Al?”

Alex lets out a sigh as he looks back and forth between their hands and the look on Jack’s face. The words fall from his lips before he can even process them fully. “Jack, I really like you.”

The look of confusion fades into something more stunned as Jack takes a step closer to him. “What?” he asks in a quiet voice, like he’s worried that speaking too loudly might shatter the moment that Alex’s confession just created.

“I really like you,” Alex says and reaches over to pull Jack in at the waist. “I like you in the want to show you off and kiss you until our friends groan and introduce you as my boyfriend at parties kind of way. I want to hold your hand when we walk back inside after watching the sunset like the cheesy idiots we are.”

For a moment he just watches Jack nod before a smile brighter than the full moon overhead pulls across Jack's face. He lets his arms wrap around Alex's neck and pulls him close enough that their foreheads touch. “I like you, too. So much. I might love you, I think, but that feels like a really big word,” Jack says back, in a voice still just above a whisper. “I could never come up with the words to say that until right now.”

Alex doesn’t realize he’s tearing up until Jack moves to cup Alex’s cheek, his thumb running across his cheekbone just in time to swipe away a tear. “God, we’re stupid. You’d think we of all people would know to just let the words come to us.”

Jack shakes his head and pouts. “Hey, you’re the veteran songwriter here. I'm still new enough to this that I have an excuse.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughs, and then he leans closer to press their lips together. Jack adjusts to cup his hand around Alex's other cheek as Alex's grip on his waist tightens. It’s not even fireworks and confetti like Alex had imagined it would be. They laugh against each other’s lips between kisses and it’s just them. When Alex pulls away and tucks his face into Jack's neck, his lips pressing lazily against the triangles inked into Jack's skin, he feels peace. Holding Jack feels like coming home or a deep breath of the cool ocean air just after sunset. He feels like what Alex always imagined love to feel like. 

*

Somehow they still beat everyone else back to the house. Their giggles echo off the halls as they kick their shoes off before heading up the stairs, one of them stopping the other every so often for another kiss.

They make it up the stairs eventually and Alex drags Jack in the direction of his room. Alex only whines for a moment when Jack pulls away because Well, you want me to brush my teeth, don’t you? When Jack returns Alex is changed and going through his own routine in the bathroom. When he glances out through the open door to the bedroom, Jack has already claimed his side of the bed and is looking at him across the room, a lazy smile pulling across his face.

“What?” Alex asks as he turns off the tap and shuffles over to lean against the doorway.

Jack shrugs. “Nothing.”

“What’s that look for then?” Alex asks. Jack sits facing towards him, his temple resting against the headboard. He’s changed into sweats and a tank Alex is pretty sure was swiped from his own closet. It’s stretched and worn enough that it’s falling off of Jack’s tattooed shoulder. If Alex could pick one image to look at for the rest of his life, this one would certainly be in the running.

“I think I’m just glad we kind of figured this out a bit,” Jack replies. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure if I went another day without saying something, Rian would have threatened to tell you himself and I think we’re just a little bit too old to be having our friends communicate our feelings for us.”

“Yeah, maybe a little bit,” Jack laughs as he slides beneath the sheets. Alex hits the light in the bathroom and pads across the room. He hears the front door open and close downstairs followed by laughter, signalling the rest of their crew has arrived home. As he listens to the quiet conversations happening on the first floor, he crawls into bed and drops his head on the pillow beside where Jack rests with his hand holding up his head. Alex drops an arm around Jack’s waist and pulls him closer.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep when I feel like I’m dreaming,” Alex says while Jack turns to shut the lamp off.

“Alex, I adore you, but that was the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said and your exhaustion is showing,” Jack says with a laugh before pressing his lips to Alex’s temple. “I’ll still be right here in the morning.”

“Will you remind me of all of the cheesy things I said tonight?”

“For as long as you’ll let me,” Jack replies. He drops his head against the pillow and smiles up at Alex.

“I’m holding you to that,” Alex says. He presses a kiss to the tattoos on Jack’s shoulder he’d been admiring from the doorway before moving to settle his head against his chest. 

As he lets his tired eyes fall shut while settling against Jack, Alex is surprised that the swirling mix of words in his head he’s become accustomed to isn’t there. He’s used to his mind still trying desperately to plan out whatever needs to come next even as he falls asleep. But as Jack tucks an arm around his waist and drifts closer to sleep, Alex decides maybe he’s alright with not knowing what comes next so long as they stay like this.

*

[edgythought]

Strangers in the Bar I

Part II  |  Part III

Alex Turner x OC (I guess??)

Description: Two lonely people observe each other in a bar. It leads to something nice. Word count: 2,294

Warning: swearing, alcohol consumption, smoking.

A/N: It is not my first fanfic, but the first one I post here. Hope y'all enjoy and leave me some comments! This was written in April-May 2019, when I was strongly fascinated with Alex, but I can't say I thought about him while writing, so it's not really a fanfiction piece. Anyway, it's up to you to decide how to interpret this. I would love to receive feedback! Thank you for reading :)  

Part I

Sunny Los Angeles in the middle of spring was an oasis of happiness, just as I thought it would be, no disappointment here. A whirlwind of events brought me here somehow and I am not mad at all. I always thought I am a New York kinda girl, strolling through the parks and skyscrapers, sipping my shit-load-of-spice latte, day (and night-) dreaming. You know, all the Great Gatsby vibes as well, but I am not into loud sounds unless I am at some concert dancing my lower back off.

My friends, who live in LA, gave a nice tour of the city and at the end of the day I am finding myself totally drained physically at the bar in the middle of nowhere (LA area). We had some cocktails with lads and even danced to a couple of extra popular Dua Lipa’s songs and a numerous amount of hispanic hits. It was great. Gals were tired, just as I was, so they went home, assuring me my hotel is 10 blocks away and an Uber would be totally affordable. Not that I am poor or something, but I always was cautious with money and my friends know I might come off as a cheapskate from time to time. So I felt fine to stay a little bit more and contemplate the infamous LA nightlife with my own eyes. Even if it’s only one bar of hundreds and not even the fanciest one.

It was over an hour since my friends left me and I was on my third Brandy Alexander when a strange man caught my attention. Moonage Daydream by a genius Bowie was playing extra loudly and he was moving his hips and lip-syncing so theatrically I couldn’t force myself to stop watching him. He was so into the music he never actually noticed he was looked at by everyone in the bar. A bartender who I cracked a couple of jokes with had a little smile on his face watching the dude and I asked “What? You like him?”. The reply I got shook me to the core: “Everyone likes him, although he is not very talkative. Nothing wrong with a dude fancying to dance a little, right?”. I turned a bit to acquire a better view on the dance floor; (the bartender’s remark made me actually watch the guy enjoying himself). He looked stunning, to be honest, but also weird, in a positive way. Long, slightly curly hair was always in his eyes, so he had to shake his head pretty often. White shirt, half-unbuttoned, gold chain, a couple of rings. He looked like a high (-profile) rockstar. (Exactly what I expected to see, but haven’t yet) His pants were really tight, though…

He was definitely interesting to pay attention to, but the song ended and I found myself staring a little too hard at the dude, so I thought it would be nice to chill a bit outside. I waved at the bartender that I will go out, took my glass and strolled through the crowd to the exit. Californian twilight was full of smells and sounds, with people chattering, cars beeping, birds singing their mysterious tunes, everything coming together with the smell of warm concrete, cigarettes and different spirits. I lit my cigarette and took a deep breath, watching the sky change colours from light bubblegum pink to pastel turquoise and dark blue, with some stars peeking through a light dim of clouds on my right. There was something about it that made me feel lighter a bit, free from the burdens of my everyday life. The contrast of the sky and dark silhouettes of trees and buildings reminded me I am not actually alone. I took another deep breath, inhaling the smoke, and hold it for a couple of seconds. I exhaled and watched the smoke twirl in front of my face. It always fascinated me how such a deadly thing can also be so beautiful. Just like love. I brushed those thoughts off of my mind, that’s not a way to have a good time. Actually, I was quite in the mood to show off some moves on the dance floor if the music fits. I am not really into hispanic tunes, just not my cup of tea. I threw away the butt and finished my drink in one go. I have nothing to lose, right?…

As I returned to the bar, I looked for the dancing dude in the crowd but he was nowhere to be found. Sad, I thought to myself, we could have had a really nice mute dance together. Anyway, I needed another drink to become a part of the dancing people, so I went straight to the bar. “Mind pouring me another one, darling?”, I asked my bartender as he was washing some shakers and spoons. “I don’t mind at all, what do you want?” - “The dancing juice you gave that guy in a very tight jeans” - “Gotcha, sweetheart” he chuckled and strolled away to the small freezer at the back. My heart was heavy and my breath trembled a bit. It’s always like that when I know I am about to do some stupid shit and then regret it the morning after. Even though I knew, I never stopped myself from doing it because it’s fun, right? At this point I just wanted to lift off the weight of my life off my shoulders and have fun, whatever it means, really. 

The Bartender (why I never asked for his name? He looks like Josh to me…) came back with several bottles in his hands. “Hey, I guessed you want to dance, so I decided to help you not only by getting you drunk” - “Yeah? What are you going to do?” - “I already did, next song is for you”, he smiled and winked at me. I laughed and turned around to check if the dancing guy appeared, while I wait for the Bartender to fuel me with whatever he mixed. After torturous couple of seconds I saw the dude come out the restroom, hand running through his hair in a desperate attempt to make it not stick to his sweaty forehead. I wanted him present when I dance because I felt something while watching him being bonkers on the dance floor and it gave me some confidence to try it myself.  He proceeded through the crowd to the bar and gestured the Bartender to come over. As I already was sipping on my “dancing juice” I started to feel the urge to do something, not to stay on my stool and right then I heard a starting riff of the song the Bartender put on for me.  I knew the song, I used to listen to it a lot when I was younger, during my first year at Uni. Oh so many memories, so many parties… I sip the drink once more and put it a little too hard on the bar, then take off my jacket and leave on the stool I was occupying. The riffs were becoming louder and the dancing dude was smiling. What was he smiling at?

I was already on the dance floor, waving my head like a heroin-infused Mick Jagger look-alike.

Stop making the eyes at me I’ll stop making my eyes at you

I catch myself looking right at the dancing dude, like I am talking to him. His eyes widened and he raised his eyebrows a bit, surprised with attention.

And what it is that surprises me Is that I don't really want you to

I winked at him and turned around to stroll through a sheer dancing crowd a little further from him and closer to my stuff I left unattended. (I shouldn’t have to worry though, the Bartender was looking after it for me)

And your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night) Oh but you're an explosion (you're dynamite)

I shuddered as if I was actually cold and looked at him again, lip-syncing "you're an explosion" right at him. He started laughing and cheered me with his drink. The Bartender leaned over to tell him something, like they were long-time friends and I was surprised but not in the mood to waste my time thinking about that, it's not my business. So I continued with my crazy moves and weird poses.

Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand Lighting the fuse might result in a bang, with a bang-go!

I felt him watching me with my back but I just didn't want to please him by looking at him. What a man, I thought, but what am I doing? The music was so encouraging to remember all the crazy shit that it was a soundtrack for, I managed to stick my worries to the back of my head and actually enjoy myself for the first time in long months.

I bet that you look good on the dance floor I don't know if your looking for romance or I don't know what you're looking for I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984 From 1984!

Now, I told myself and turned around to watch the dancing dude talk to the Bartender. I actually thought they were talking about me because the Bartender kept his eyes on me all the time the dude was telling him something. When he finished speaking, he glanced at me and I used the moment to sing "I bet that you look good on the dance floor" to him from afar. I was sure he saw it. I smiled, continuing moving my hips to the sound of music and trying to impersonate a robot from 1984. I knew he was watching me despite the very much dim lighting of the bar, coming from neon signs and candles on the tables mostly. The only light place was the bar itself, so I could see the dude, while he couldn't see much of me. But I know he saw, I was pretty close to the bar anyway. 

I wish you'd stop ignoring me Because you're sending me to despair Without a sound yeah you're calling me And I don't think it's very fair That your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night) Oh but you're an explosion (you're dynamite) Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand Lighting the fuse might result in a bang, with a bang-go!

I came right up to him, singing the words to him, wanting to catch his attention and drag him to the dance floor with me. I didn't care if he wants it or not, he better come with me. The dude was really impressed and started laughing, but I took his hand in mine and pulled a bit for him to get up. He threw a quick glance at the Bartender, who nodded and laughed at us. The dude gave up and followed me. We somehow appeared to be at the very center, dancing and jumping like crazy. We sang the entire chorus at the top of our lungs, pointing at each other and dancing like robots. He did it hilariously and I couldn't stop laughing.

Oh there ain't no love no, Montagues or Capulets Just banging tunes 'n' DJ sets 'n' Dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness!

He played his imaginary guitar and banged his head like he was actually playing the song at some gig and I was pretty taken aback how rockstar-ish he looked at that moment. He sang "dreams of naughtiness" way out of the range and was looking at me while I was imitating thrusts with my hips and we fell to our knees laughing right after.

When the song ended we were absolutely out of breath, but both of us smiled widely. As we proceeded to the bar, a slow song started playing. The dude stopped for a moment, bit his lip and offered me his hand.

Do you know what it feels like to dance alone? Do you know what it feels like?

I looked at him with zero understanding what's going on but placed my had in his open palm. He dragged me gently back to the dance floor.

His hand was on my waist and it felt very comfortable. At the moment I felt like we know each other for eternity, not less, and I still didn't know his name. He organically moved us both, whispering the lyrics in my ear, spinning me around, holding my hand, looking me in the eyes. He smelled like a very expensive cologne, cigarettes and a bit of healthy sweat - an unforgettable combination to be embraced in.

When the lights are turned too low for me In the dark I feel you close to me You're the one that I want to see

At this point we were barely moving, my hands around his neck, his hands on my waist; we just looked each other in the eyes, trying to find something we're missing… The song was just about to end when we both rushed forward a bit and split our dancing hug awkwardly. We proceeded to the bar and I finished my cocktail looking for an explanation to what happened. I closed my eyes, capturing those moments we shared with that strange man in my mind. Finally, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to catch a look from the Bartender. In a slight haze, I turned around searching for the dancing dude, but he vanished without a trace, although he was right by my side a minute ago. Disappointed, I asked for a receipt, paid and went straight out.

[clumsyclifford]

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core. 

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

~

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word. 

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

[tar-oh]

Pick a Pile: What the rest of October has in store for you

Okay, so I haven’t been active on here (mostly because of school and personal things) and I had wanted to do an October Pick a Pile but then...it was October and I was kind of like “Oh no! It’s too late!” But as I’m writing this, it’s the 10th of October and there’s still a few weeks left, so I felt that I should do one!

So, when I started this reading I was thinking “What could I do for the piles?” And guess what! I have a new obsession! The netflix show Julie and the Phantoms, which is about a girl who befriends a ghost band. SERIOUSLY A GHOST BAND! Sounds like they wrote this show for me... Anyway, she forms a band with them, and so the show is just all about her life now that she’s friends with some ghosts and is in a band with them. It’s also about the guys kind of navigating this new (after)life. So I thought I’d have you choose one of the ghosts for your piles! Also, it’s kind of SPOOOOOOKY! For Halloween, right? (lol these are like the friendliest ghosts you’ll ever find)

Okay so, 1: Luke, 2: Reggie and 3: Alex (Disclaimer: This is a general reading so it may not resonate with you. I suggest that if you feel like it doesn’t resonate, either pick another pile or find another reading. So, please keep this in mind.) Also, I’m looking into doing personal readings on here for people, so if you’re interested, DM me.

Pile 1: Luke

(sorry, my phone has been taking worse pics lately :/ ) Cards:  The Hermit, clarified by Justice reversed, 5 of cups clarified by 4 of swords reversed and empress reversed, 3 of swords clarified by 10 of cups, 6 of cups clarified by page of pentacles reversed Advice cards: Queen of Pentacles, 2 of cups Okay, so since this is for the rest of October, some of this could have already happened for you/you’re going through it. Or it’s something that could happen within the next few weeks, but I’m going to read it like it’s progressing right now.

I feel as though I should give a little about the character you chose, Luke. I don't know, maybe some of you chose him because you think Charlie Gillespie, the guy who plays him, is really adorable (the most adorable Virgo I've ever seen tbh, currently kind of in love with him really). Luke is the guitarist/lead singer of the original band in show, Sunset Curve. He becomes kind of the co-singer in Julie and the Phantoms. While Luke has a huge heart and cares immensely about those he loves, he also has kind of this thing where he wants the attention on him. It's more along the lines of something I don't think he can help. Like, he can be ass, but he's also a caring ass. Throughout the whole show he says that it's about the music, not the money. So while he probably would love to be famous, he's more about the music. He literally lives (an ironic statement given the plot of the show) for music and to be able to play it after his death seems to be all he wants. When he meets Julie, he sees a way to still play his music. He seems to be able to express himself best through his music. So, through this I'm going to assume that you are also someone who loves your people fiercely. I think you also are someone who connects through music. Maybe you feel best when listening to it, or possibly you are able to express yourself through it. Maybe you write your own lyrics ��(or poetry) or compose your own music. So, then we get into the cards. You have the hermit as your first card. It's so funny this one came out because it's the card for Virgos, and as I pointed out the guy that plays Luke is a virgo, and though Luke seems to exude more of a fiery personality than an earthy one, I think Charlie's sun sign is still visible. At least to me. I mean, I guessed it correctly which I don't know. Kind of weird to me! So, that leads me to say that even though I don't have many earthy cards here, I still am getting those earthy vibes. Maybe it's more that you're feeling really grounded right now or maybe you are focused on your career more-so currently. I mean, bottom deck energy was 9 of Pentacles, so it's like this overall feeling that you either have your shit in order or you're striving to get there. And I see that in the Hermit card. There's a man in the forefront holding a lantern, looking for something. In this deck, the Haunted House Tarot, this guy is called the groundskeeper. He's the one that cares for the garden, which fitting since the hermit is the card for Virgos. I mean, an earth sign. In the background, the girl who is seen throughout the whole deck is peering around a tree at him. I kind of see this as two things for multiple people. The first is that this is you’re kind of taking stock of what's going on at the moment in your life. You're looking around at it all, seeing what you have and what you can do with what you have and I definitely see 5 of cups kind of backing that up, but instead of you seeing all of it, I think you're focusing on what you're lacking. A song called Anywhere You Looked by Au Revoir Simone came on, so, I definitely see this! The hermit was clarified by Justice reversed and so I think this is you kind of feeling like maybe you lack something and that it's seeming to taking precedence over what there is. Like, this lack seems like an injustice to you. In this 5 of cups, there's 5 wine glasses, all of them more than half empty and I think that's kind of interesting. I mean clearly someone drank the wine...but then stopped and got a new cup? And each time? So, like, is this you looking at what there is for you to work with, utilizing it but then putting it down despite you being able to use it more? Maybe it's you starting things and none of it feels right, so you start other things and it happens again, which leads to a frustration. To clarify 5 of cups, both the Empress reversed and 4 of Swords reversed fell out. I think maybe this empress being in the reversed position is kind of representing this frustration, but instead of it being on the lack of resources or not even the lack, but just resources in general, its going back to you. Like, you're upset with yourself. I know in this deck, her having her hand on her stomach is supposed to represent her being pregnant, and I mean, if we go with that, it being reversed its like that fertility wasn't there to nurture this new life? If that makes sense, but I'm thinking of this as something tangible (not that a baby isn't tangible lol but I mean a project or a job or something). But I also see this clutching of the stomach as pain. Like, maybe you're just feeling so frustrated you're stressed to the point of exhaustion. The 4 of swords reversed...Well. Right now I'm reading this as you needing to take a step back and rest but you refuse to. Like, maybe you're restless, and maybe that's why you're the hermit, looking around at what there is. Like this idea that even though you keep restarting, you're not giving up? And, because you chose Luke, I'm assuming this is you. Like this won't stop/can't stop mentality? I mean, dude literally dies but still tries to be in a band so! Skies the fucking limit! And you know that. You're just having trouble getting to a place that you're happy with. The next card was 3 of Swords. This insinuates that something was really painful. Like, heartbreak painful. I don't really think this is all that external though. I'm reading it as again, you're working on something and its just not going the way you want. It's not...Perfect. God. You know this really does give me Virgo vibes because from what I understand about virgos is that they really are kind of all or nothing. Like they want perfection or nothing. I'm not saying all virgos are like this but this is kind of how I’ve seen them with their own work. And, even Luke is kind of like this in the show. He definitely is really focused on the band. He's almost never not working or thinking about the band. So, like with this 3 of swords being a swords card, I see it as mentally. Mentally something hurts you, but it's more of something you're working on. Like, you just can't seem to get it right. 10 of cups definitely backs that up for me. This happy emotionally fulfilling end, but like you can't seem to get there with whatever it is you're working on, so you're just really upset. It feels like this weird-ass cycle you're stuck in, like this never-ending disappointment. Maybe one day you're like "Oh! If I try this it will work out!" but you try it and you end up scrapping it and trying again. And, honestly, even though I feel that for most of you this is a project of some sorts, I think for some it could be a relationship, like romantic or even a family member. With 6 of cups, I didn't really want to say it was someone from your past, but the song Visitor by Of Monsters and Men came on, and honestly for some it probably is someone from your past. For others, maybe just a solution you tried in the past will circle back around in your head and you'll retry it. The thing though, is that it's clarified by the Page of Pentacles reversed and for some it could mean that this solution will once again bring nothing forth. For others, it could be that you're in this position where you want to get further then where you're at (the song says, "I want to do better this time"), but...Maybe you're not putting in that effort you need to be putting in. Or, perhaps the way you're going about this is not beneficial to you.  Maybe you're just overworking yourself, and this is just the cards telling you to pause and think back. The solution is in the past. The past is just haunting me with this card. I don't always like to be like "oh it's this cliche meaning" but, this really feels like the past. In it there's a little girl reaching up at the flower in the cup that the woman is holding, but I kind of wonder if this is supposed to be Younger You, offering Older You this idea or advice. Something in your past is relevant. Maybe it is another person, but it's definitely something from your past. For your advice I pulled Queen of Pentacles. Usually, I'd say that you need to focus on you and your finances at this point, but in this deck's version, she's holding the pentacle but looking away from it. I almost wonder if whatever this is, be it project or relationship, you need to just take a break for a hot minute. I think you'll know how long of a break it needs to be, but I think once you do you'll be able to come back with a fresh mind and you'll be able to tackle it in a more efficient way. I also pulled two of cups and so maybe you need to stop what you're doing and water something else, like another relationship for a bit (i.e. if this is a romantic partner, maybe go hang out with friends, or vice versa). But I also get that for some of you, if this is a project you might need to ask someone else for their opinion or help. Maybe for some this is relinquishing this problem to someone else for the time being. Either way, two of cups is abut duality. There is something about this situation that requires a duality. It could be as simple as you being able to find a balance between working on whatever this is and everything else in your life, I mean, going back to the Queen of Pentacles, she's this lady who has her shit together while also being able to be there for others and in a compassionate way. So, maybe this is a reminder that you don't need to do everything on your own and that you won't be able to find a peace of mind until you're able to relinquish this or at least allow someone to help you. This also reminds me of Luke again because his band can't play music unless they're preforming with Julie since no one can see them until they're playing with her. He had to relinquish this role of being the only lead singer. Gosh, wouldn't that be funny if your were a ghost guitar player reading this? Lmao!  Overall, I get such a workaholic vibe from this pile. Guys just take a breather, seriously.

Pile 2: Reggie

Cards:  3 of pentacles reversed clarified by ace of swords, 9 of swords clarified by the hierophant, 7 of wands reversed clarified by death reversed, 4 of swords reversed clarified by page of cups Advice Cards: Page of swords, the devil

First, I said this with the last pile. These are things that either might have already started to happen, or may happen. I’m just going to read it like it’s progressing already. Reggie is the sweetest character in this show. Like, for the most part they're all really sweet, but he's that one that is basically equivalent to that puppy who just likes everyone. He's also the bassist in the band and I find that bassists are the most overlooked, so I think that can ring true about Reggie too. We know some things about him and his past but it's the least. Which is interesting because this pile also seemed kind of vague to me too.  With 3 of pentacles being reversed I always want to read it as someone wanting to do something on their own. Like, doing something independently. The ace of swords clarifying this is screaming, like literally I just keep hearing this in my head, you cut something or someone off. Or maybe you're trying to get through something without feeling something so you're cutting the feeling off before it starts. Somethings being cut out, for sure. I’m also imagining someone cutting some paper with scissors, so maybe you’re editing your life or something by cutting situations/people/things/feelings out. The ace of swords feels violent actually. Something about this ace of swords is so visceral, and that makes me think that this intention/idea was really sudden. Almost like you woke up one day and you were like "Nope. Doing this on my own."  or "Nope. Not feeling that today. Cutting it out.” But, I don't really think you're someone like that. Like, I see that you could be someone who enjoys their alone time  but that for the most part maybe you enjoy others company. And, like Reggie is like that too. In fact, I think he's the only character we don't see alone ever! Like, we know the least about him too, so it's like, maybe you enjoy being around people but you also hold yourself at a distance. You may share things about yourself but maybe one of those people who is very selective about what and with who you share with. Like, maybe you make it seem like you’re sharing deep things, but...They’re not. They’re surface level, but you’re able to present them in a way that isn’t like that’s what it is. And maybe this 3 of pentacles being reversed is you thinking "Hmm. They know too much." but I feel like that’s for some of you (I think some of you are scorpios and it's more than just the death card. I just get that ~vibe~). An interesting thing about this 3 of pentacles is that she's in the ruins of a building. She looks hurt, and the other two look as though they're trying to help her. So maybe if this about someone, this cutting someone off is you cutting off help someone has offered you. Like, maybe someone has offered to help you cover something financially? But there's this feeling that you're thinking this is something you have to go at alone. I also could just see this as someone denying themselves something. Like, I think there's a small group repressing something like an emotion. Like a small group of you. Yeah, definitely for some you're aware that there is an emotion that you're supposed to be feeling but I think you're just telling yourself to detach from it. But I think this is just causing you more stress, so I think you really need to let yourself feel it in order to move on. Vlad the Impaler by Kasabian was on and there's a line where they say "Get loose get loose". So. Um. I think for those of you repressing something, I think that's for you. So, instead of denying yourself that, I think you need to stop and tell yourself it's okay to feel it. Like, maybe you're thinking your emotions aren't justifiable but that's not true because you can't really tell your body not to feel something, right? 9 of Swords shows me that you are stressed right now. I think you're freaking out over how this could play out on your own but you seem to be determined to do it on your own. The hierophant kind of says that for me. Like, he's all about conventional things, and maybe you feel that there's a right way to go about this, and that right way is to do it alone. Although, its funny because in this card it's a priest exorcising someone, so this isn't really someone going at it alone. Also, again, giving me this feeling like exorcising demons, so like, repressing/deflecting emotions. Maybe this 9 of swords is you worried that you won't be able to do this alone? The thing though, is that I see such extreme distress with 9 of swords. She's in bed crying and there's so many swords next to her. It feels crowded, but I think that's your head. I think you have too many thoughts about this and how you want to do this alone. But then we have 7 of wands reversed and it's literally just this ball of fire since the wands are torches in this deck. I think this is how you're seeing this situation. Like, a huge ball of fire just waiting to turn into something worse. 7 of wands being reserved can mean surrendering, but I don't necessarily see that. I see this overwhelming sense of stress and worry with it, and this overwhelming sense has you back in that bed with the swords looming over you. And death reversed suggests that too because its something you can't let go of. But, I think death is telling you that it's time to let it go, whatever this is. Like this worrying isn't helping (which, ha, I know that saying that really doesn't stop it). There's also this sense of compromise with this pile. It's weird because I don't really get a sense about what this is. Like, I think for some it's definitely financial, but I don't know about the others. Whatever it is, I think you're aware that you need to let it go, but its not...Going. With 4 of swords in reverse, I do see you letting it go, though, same with page of cups. She's sitting there just letting these butterflies out. So with that, I see this transformation. Right? So I think once you're able to start to heal/let this go, you go thorough this transformation. It could be a little one but it can also be something big and noticeable. I really feel like a lot of people are choosing this pile because it seems really vague. The last pile seemed vague too, but it wasn't like this one. This one just seems so much broader. I'm not sure if this is something you have to do with yourself or someone else, but the bottom deck energy was 5 of swords reversed and I am reading that as compromise. So, either you need to compromise with yourself, or there is someone you need to compromise with. For advice, I pulled page of swords. I think this is telling you to be looking at every angle of this. I'm sure you've done a lot of overthinking with this, but I think it's more like a broken record. Like, you're focusing on the same thoughts when there's another perspective you're missing. The other card was the devil and that's for everyone, but especially those who are repressing something. So, if you are repressing something, you need to stop that and let yourself feel it. The only way out of this is through it. It's interesting because on this devil card there's two people chained up and I honestly think they could easily slip their heads through those chains? So, I think there is a way through this and I think you know but I think maybe there's an element of fear. But, going back to that Ace of Swords, I think you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. The ace of swords and the 7 of wands are standing out so much to me. The sword and the fire, and those are strong things, so I think you're strong enough to get through this. You know this, but I think you've convinced yourself otherwise. You know what’s so funny about this devil card, too? It's the same people from the 3 of pentacles. So it's like, for those of you repressing something, it's like you're holding it hostage by refusing to acknowledge it, so I guess just kind of think about that. (But don't over think it). The woman who has the horns on the devil card is the same woman who had fallen in the 3 of pentacles, so I definitely am seeing this as the cards saying you’re kind of in your own way. Even adding onto that, the girl in the page of swords card is overlooking a dollhouse, so maybe you're just trying to control this and it's not working, it's more to your detriment. I just really think you need to sit with your emotions, all of you. Like, journaling is a really good way to get them out. Maybe you like writing lyrics or poetry or anything? I just think you need to spend some time alone doing something constructive so that you can get these emotions out in a healthy way, because I think if you don't they're going to explode. Like, at first I thought maybe it was some of you, but I definitely think all of you who chose this pile are avoiding some hard emotions, or at least not letting yourself feel them. And that’s not healthy my friends! Pile 3: Alex

Cards:  3 of swords reversed clarified by 9 of wands, the world clarified by 8 of wands and 9 of cups, judgement reversed clarified temperance reversed, ace of cups clarified by 8 of pentacles reversed Advice cards: 8 of pentacles reversed, knight of wands reversed Okay, so another disclaimer that I’ve said for the other piles. Since this is for the rest of October, I’m reading it like it’s currently progressing. That being said, it could have already progressed, or will progress this way. Again, take what resonates. Alex is such a great character! I honestly think he's my favorite. He's considered the "emotional one" of the band, but is also the most sarcastic out of all of them. He doesn’t miss a beat, which is funny since he’s the drummer. So, maybe rhythm is important to you? He's also kind of the Dad-Friend and is quick to scold Reggie and Luke when they do something mean to someone else. Alex also is the one that goes out and befriends another ghost and he finds out some interesting things about being a ghost, so I would say while the others are curious, he goes out and looks for answers. This makes me feel like you're a doer rather than someone who just watches stuff unfold.  First off, I want to say that the bottom of the deck energy was 8 of pentacles reversed, which makes me feel like maybe you feel neglected in someway. This is kind of weird because it also kind of goes with Alex. I don't really want to go into it because it could be a spoiler for anyone who hasn't watched it, but there's a point where he feels like someone is avoiding him and I get that sense with you guys. I think this is what might lead to the first card I got, 3 of swords reversed. The first card was 3 of swords reversed, so I get the sense that you are or will be healing from something that really hurt you. With 9 of wands clarifying it, I think maybe this made you get really defensive of your heart, but maybe you're feeling really tired and you're feeling like it would be a bad idea to let your guard down, especially because maybe you know you're healing. Like, I think maybe you don't like...actively think "I'm healing right now," But somewhere in your head you have a knowing. That 9 of wands has really tall wands. And she's coming out of a maze too, so maybe whatever it was that led you to this state of healing was confusing for you. Like, you felt like you were going through a maze of emotions, but you made it out and you're not going back there at any cost. Next we have the world and to me that means a cycle is ending and that this healing is coming with this end. She's holding a key, and in this deck it means that she's like now the owner of the haunted house that this deck is about, but like I see this as you holding this key. Maybe it's specifically to your heart or something like that. Or, it's just this key because you found answers to this maze you just went through. Like, you were confused and now you're not, or at least clarity is finding it’s way to you. And, it's clarified by both the 8 of wands and 9 of cups, so like this ending is going to bring something in really quickly and it's going to be something you've been wanting. Maybe before this you had no idea what you wanted, so back to that key, it's like you figuring that out. I think judgement being reversed says that you were taken off of some path because it wasn't really aligning with you, which temperance clarifying it tells me this. Like, you were in need of more balance but this path wasn't bringing this. Perhaps it was this path that led to those 3 swords in the first place, but either way, I think it's closing out and you're going in a new direction. Also, on the judgement card, it's the lady who'd been holding the key and coming out of the maze, but on judgement she's holding this little kid. Granted, this kid doesn't look like her, but she's really white like she has white clothes, white hair, she looks like she could even be a bit translucent. So maybe this is you nurturing that hurt side of yourself, like picking yourself up and realigning yourself. The ghost of your past self? Like, I do see that the universe has helped you but really you deserve this credit because I think you're the one doing most of the work. The universe is just kind of nudging you gently every so often. You also got ace of cups and it was clarified by ace of swords, so this is going to be really emotionally fulfilling but also you're going to be full of ideas. Like, I just get this huge excited feeling from this pile, so I really think the rest of October is going to be really great for you guys! Ahh! I'm so happy that this pile was this way because as I said earlier, I love Alex, so it's so nice to see that you guys are going to do great! (after this period of healing of course). For advice, I pulled 8 of pentacles reversed, so it definitely wanted to come out. Before I was saying that it being on the bottom of the deck made me feel like you felt neglected, and I still think that's true but I also think that with it showing up in the advice section, I think it could also be telling you that even if something seems boring or tedious you need to keep at it despite this. So, while you're closing out a cycle, there's still some work to put in. And maybe this could be referring to that ace of cups/ace of swords, like those new beginnings coming. Whatever they are, there's going to be work you need to put in and I think it's just warning that you need to be continuous with the work. Not to get lazy or half-ass it. This could also just be, continuous healing. Like, allow this to unfold. Allow yourself to continue to heal. But, for others, I think this also maybe telling you that you may need to take a break and not overwork yourself. I think you'll know which one is for you, because if you have a a tendency to be a workaholic, than you'll know and if you're someone who can be lazy, you'll know. The other card was knight of wands reversed. This, I think, goes with those who may have a tendency to get lazy or even bored. Finish what you start. And, this could apply to all of you, but I see that mostly for that group. For the other, I think maybe it's kind of a be patient. Don't go at it and do it all in one go, or something like that. I think you need to take your time with whatever this new beginning is as well as your healing from the beginning. But, overall, I think these cards are just kind of warnings, so I think things should be okay overall.

[doomedandstoned]

Mothman and The Thunderbirds Take Us ‘Into The Hollow’

~By Tom Hanno~

Album Art by Drahma R.

This solo project has one of the coolest names I've heard in a while, and the music matches that coolness before multiplying it tenfold. That project is manned by Alex Parkinson, goes by the name of MOTHMAN AND THE THUNDERBIRDS and the debut album, 'Into the Hollow' (2021), drops on May 21st.

One of the biggest things that I hear is a Mastodon influence, and that rides throughout this album. However, there is so much more than just the Mastodon influence, creating an extremely diverse album that effortlessly blends several genres into one.

On top of me hearing great music on this release, I also am attracted to the name for reasons other than coolness. Breaking the moniker down, we discover that there are the names of two cryptids contained therein.

Into the Hollow by Mothman and The Thunderbirds

First, we have the Mothman, which is a cryptid seen in the West Virginia area of the United States starting in November of 1966. It is heavily believed that a Mothman sighting is the precursor to some kind of tragedy, which began after the December 1967 Silver Bridge Incident The bridge connects West Virginia and Ohio, and it collapsed under the weight of rush hour traffic, killing 46 people; thereby instigating the bad omen myth that follows the Mothman to this day.

Second is the extremely dangerous Thunderbird, which dates back to the Native Americans, and are capable of altering the weather; creating storms and lightning. Both of these cryptids still have sightings, and captivate the imaginations of many people across the globe.

The first track is called "Mothman Takes Flight", and the layering of the vocals in the intro section are extremely cool sounding; not to mention that the first riff has a slight Slipknot vibe to it. Those layered vocal parts really grabbed my attention, and that attention only grew stronger as this track moved forward.

One of the elements that I really latched onto was the diverse feel of each part of the song. It seems as if everything has its own influence, but they all fit together perfectly to create this awesome piece of music.

As we move onto track number two, we get a Mastodon-heavy song called "Hollow Earth", which gets my nod for best vocal effects for a verse; they really bring to mind Static-X's "Chemical Logic" from the Cannibal album. I asked Alex how he was able to create that sound, and he told me this; "For Hollow Earth I did the regular clean vocals and then ran them through a Korg vocoder a few times, so it's a couple different vocoders on top of each other, on top of the clean vocals."

"Indrid Cold" is another banger, and keeps the Mastodon vibe alive and well. The main riff has a gallop and a well placed emphasis on the right notes to make this track sound even better. The vocals are executed with a burly rasp, and an almost agonized tone in certain spots; they match the heavy feel of the music expertly, and the lyric that says, "Smile through the pain" helps add to that agonized idea even more.

Up next is possibly the best track on the album, "Infinite Ocean", which features Breaths' Jason Roberts on verses 3 and 4. I love everything about this song, but it's the vocal melody and performances that really stick out; they are perfectly executed, well written, and memorable.

The section that hits around the 2:30 mark is very interesting, almost progressive in nature. The guitars display a lot of movement, and the bass just hangs back to subtly hold the whole thing together. I really love this one, it's my personal favorite in the album.

One of my other favorite tracks is called "Cloud Giant", which could have just as easily been on the latest Devin Townsend album. His influence is very strongly felt in the music, as well as the flow of the vocals; which are performed by special guest vocalist, Joe Sobieski. Even with all of that I think my favorite aspect is the tribal nature of the drumming, which makes perfect use of the toms to really propel things forward. The whole vibe of this song is positive and uplifting, which fits the lyrical context nicely.

Before I end this review, I'd like to include Alex' thoughts on his record:

I started Mothman and The Thunderbirds in the middle of 2020, when quarantine-pastime curiosity in cryptids and conspiracy theories came to a head with my creative indecisiveness. I think Into the Hollow is a strong first outing at that, showcasing a range of styles -- some metal, some not -- that I had been itching to record. Rather than starting several different "solo" projects, I decided that this album was going to be a vehicle for all things weird and wonderful.

While the album deals in cryptids and conspiracy theories, I've tied in many real-world themes of war, global warming, anxiety, paranoia, and manufactured consent. But to transport the listener in and out of the world of Mothman and The Thunderbirds, the album is bookended by two songs that deal in pure escapism. I think my varied approach to both vocals and song styles helps convey the dichotomy between the real and surreal.

I'd like to thank the four Guest Thunderbirds (in order of appearance: Jason, Kirby, Sam, and Joe) for their guest contributions, which make this album truly special. And I'd like to thank you, the listener, for embarking on this crazy journey with me Into the Hollow!

In closing, as I quote from their press release, "If anything, Into the Hollow is a stoner metal album for people who are bored of stoner metal." That line really sums up why I love this album as much as I do. The amount of eclectic diversity in the songwriting really helps to set Mothman and the Thunderbirds apart from other bands in the genre, not to mention that Alex has been able to obtain guest musicians that really add their own spark to the tracks they're featured on.

May 21st is coming soon, so go to Bandcamp, hit that pre-order button, and feel free to let us know what you think of this excellent recording. Enjoy!

Follow The Band

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[dandelionpaint]

Anon cause I'm not JatP on main but I was too stoked on someone else being on this train of thought to not say something lol. I've got thoughts - We Laugh At Danger/I Was A Teenage Anarchist hit Bobby right in the "I miss my friends" - Spanish Moss hits him right in the survivor's guilt, being the only one left to carry out their dreams and not knowing how to move on afterward, besides reinventing himself. Norse Truth is like a different kind of angry song, but consider - "All the places that we

[Img description: anonymous ask that says

“never went/ All the times we never had / Want 'em all back" - Bamboo Bones reminds him of Alex in particular - and absolutely the big potential in the songs on TDB - Dead Friend, Two Coffins, etc.

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Anon you are so valid fhfdgd and honestly Im so glad I got someone on this train too. There sjust so much potential in this

Under read more because this turned out way longer than I expected lol

But yes!! I was Teenage Anarchist fits Bobby so well, even though we don’t know that much what he was like as a teen (we need more of his backstroy!!! Please!!) and as Im listening We Laugh At Danger (I haven’t listened this album that much OTZ) and yes!! Anon you are so right!!

Like, my dude my pal, the lyrics from Teenage Anarchist

Do you remember When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?

They make me think of Bobby being like, idk, all angry at the world for losing his friends and remembering the times with them. And especially because they all had highkey rough lives back at home. So it’s like, when they all came together and formed a band.

Yes yes yes

Spanish Moss

is so perfect for some Bobby guilt angst . Dunno what more to say about that expect you are so right yet again

I hadn’t even considered Norse Truth for him! Even though its probably my fave song from Shapeshift WIth Me. It fits so well, just right for all the anger. Like, he got over the survivor’s guilt and now he is just!! So angry!! Its perfect for that!!

All the places that we never went All the times we never had Want 'em back now, want 'em all back We all want to be more real than all the others Wanted all of us to be more real than all of the rest But it wasn't 

They were all so young, they had so much to live for and see in the world but fuck! They died! And now Bobby is left all alone in this world! Fuck dude, he just wants his friends back

Alex and Bamboo Bones... yeah... I think there’s quite many songs that could fit him nicely, but rn can’t think of anything in particular from top of my head Like, this part from the song make sme think of like, Alex who was just kicked out by his parents (don’t think this was canon thing but in all honesty, it most likely would have happened to him, considering literally Everything) and his friends are there for him and offering him place to stay

Don't let them break you. Don't let them tell you who you are. Doesn't matter where you come from, You'll always have a floor to sleep on.

FUCKMYLIFE666 is like, that song, yeah

Never wanna say that we grew apart And never wanna say that the feelings changed I don't have the heart to match the one pricked into your finger Of things made to be destroyed All moments meant to pass

Like, there’s just so much to this song dude, especially the very last lines.

This, too, will soon slip out of reach This, too, will soon come to an end

Its like the song where Bobby (Trebor, probably at that point where I imagien this song would fit in his life) is adult, somewhat has moved on what happened and it’s the final song about them, idk. When you listen the full song, it does give me vibes of him like, talkign about one of the bandmates specially. Someone, whom he probably had romantic relationship with.

Dead Friend in other hand sounds more like something soon after funerals and the first hints of (survivor’s) guilt appearing but mkostly it’s jsut him really fuckign missing all his friends he lost.

Needn't worry about tomorrow anymore, because you're dead. Does anything still echo? Is there any trace left?

Tbh this whole album does have like, more romantic feeling to me, but anyway...

When you died, you were only twenty-six, The most real person that I've ever met. 

Adding more to how fuckjing young they all were. 17! That’s so young to die!

Two Coffins is like, the depresison right after hearing your best friends and lover died and then attending their funeral where you have that emotional moment of takign one last look at them and sayign good bye.

How lucky I ever was to see the way that you smiled at me. Your little moon face shining bright at me. One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me.

Two coffins for sleep. Two coffins for sleep.

All the things I have yet to lose will someday be gone too. Back into annihilation. All things will fade, maybe it's better off that way. I wish you'd stay with me.

Skipping Paralytic States because it doesn’t feel that big of a match for any of them. But instead I’m gonna talk about Black Me Out because hoo boy that got some potential.

Black Me Out really has the vibes of Bobby, who now has changed his name to Trevor, has yet to properly move on on anything.

I don't ever want to talk that way again, I don't want to know people like that anymore. As if there was an obligation, As if I owed you something.

He is angry, but he doesn’t know where or how to channel this. So he kinda is just angry at like, everyone and spends his time getting drunk and high or something.

Black me out. I want to piss on the walls of your house, I want to chop those brass rings off your fat fucking fingers. As if you were a kingmaker. Black me out.

He’s at the graveyard, looking at the graves of his best friends. He is yet again experiencing the survivor’s guilt.

All the young graves filled. Don't the best stars burn out so bright and so fast? All the young graves filled. Don't the best stars burn out so bright and so fast? Full-body high. I'm never coming down.

All Of This And More also got some potential too, but I haven’t thought about it as much as the other songs, as you can see from the above lol.

As nihilistic as you might expect I somehow ended up missing your kind of crazy more than the rest All this and more to forget All this and more to forget  [for many times]

Like, unnffhh. This goes in the “Bobby trying to move on” category, but the memories are too sweet to Just Forget.

I think this is all of it for now, perhaps. If you got more songs by them to add to like, literally any of the boys, you know my inbox is open

Now Im gonna go shed some tears because I made myself emotional when writing this all out

[ezrabridgerr]

CREATOR TAG MEME

tagged by @iridescentides and @iveheardtherumours thank you so much dia and ren! ❤️

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

i have been making gifs since about mid-october this year and i have posted about 30 gifsets so far so i have a much easier task than most of you super talented people haha.

most of my edits are for julie and the phantoms, so i'm going to cheat a little and choose my top 5 for jatp and top 3 from the rest of my stuff!

julie and the phantoms:

1. favourite scenes -> them being dorks - this one is special to me because it's one of the few styles i got right from the very first try, and transition effects are currently my fave thing to experiment with :) it basically just grew out of me wanting to do several scenes but them being too long for just single gifs. so, voila!

2. favourite song -> bright - this one came from me playing around with selective colours and hue/saturation just for fun instead of using a brush. i impressed myself with how well the colours turned out haha.

3. the band + a million dreams - i'm very proud of the gold text effect on this one, and i wanted to make a blue gifset for a long time too so i feel it all came together really well :') also, the song is one of my faves from the greatest showman and it fits them completely ❤️

4. willex + remember me - emo willex alert! honestly, i was just being very emo about these two not really saying goodbye to each other, and this song popped into my head. hence, i had to make an edit with little torn paper and fade effects to make it extra emo :') enjoy.

5. favourite ship -> alex × willie - this was my first time matching colours to blend gifs on a single canvas, and i enjoyed the process so much that i spent quite a long time on it. i actually love the end product too, i think i captured the vibe i was going for :)

others:

1. the umbrella academy + turning points - my second attempt at both transition effects and frame by frame colouring, and i was especially happy to find i was improving at both :') also, choosing the quotes was really fun, and it made me appreciate my favourite dysfunctional siblings and their character growth all over again.

2. schitt's creek + colours of the sky - this was my very first edit of this sort and i wanted to do something new because almost all topics seemed to have been done already. i read about the sky's colours and looked up some meanings and made up a few of my own that fit the characters, and in the end this spread to so many fandoms and creators, which i'm really proud of ❤️

3. the marvelous mrs. maisel soundtrack - i wanted to make a soundtrack edit almost as soon as i learnt giffing lmao, and the tmmm soundtrack had so many 1950s bops! this was also my first try at vibrant colouring, and it took me some time to make it look good but i think i did in the end!

i’m tagging @molinasjules @funny-face @merceralexs @miriammaisel @danieljradcliffe @rhodee <3