#all of this with like 4 hours sleep a night. who else is doing it like me (many many people)
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hannahluvsbillie · 21 hours ago
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one more chance?
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casual part 4 ; final part
☆彡 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ~ you wake up to billie next to you; the memories of what happened last night flood your mind.
☆ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ~ billie eilish x reader
☆ 𝐜𝐰 ~ none
ꨄ 𝐚/𝐧 ~ hi guys! this is the final part of casual, i think. thank you all for your support on this series! keep a eye out for new fics here 😉
you wake up to the sound of soft rain pattering on your window, the sound stirring you awake. you open your eyes, and suddenly feel a weight on top of your arm. your eyes widen and it all comes back to you.
last night billie cried in your arms for hours until you finally made her go to sleep. she never even told you what happened. originally you said you’d sleep on the couch, but when billie looked at you with those sad eyes, eyes that looked exhausted, and asked you to hold her, you couldn’t help but give in.
now, you’re regretting that decision. you gave into her, you told yourself you were done with her, you wouldn’t text her or let her into your house anymore- you especially wouldn’t let yourself get in the backseat of her porsche anymore.
you sigh, looking up at the ceiling lost in your thoughts.
suddenly you feel billie move a little, her arm wrapping around your waist and her head nuzzling into the crook of your neck. this is when you give up, you could tell she really needed someone right now, she needed you right now.
you shift a little and cradle her head in your hand, the other hand gently tracing shapes on her back. something about how she’s breathing told you this is the best she’s slept
in awhile.
a few minutes later she stirs, her arm moves from your waist for just a moment to rub her eyes. her face is still a little swollen.
when her eyes open and meet yours, she rests her head on your bicep, sighing.
“hey” she says lowly, her voice still raspy from sleeping. she looks at you like your the world to her, you remember that look, it no longer makes you feel good.
you smile weakly at her, exhaling a breathe that felt like you’ve been holding it forever.
“billie you know this was a bad idea.” you say, biting your lip without thinking.
you hear her swallow, her eyes straying from yours, moving to the wall behind you. “i know, i’m sorry. i just didn’t know what else to do- or who to call. you’re the only one that can handle me like that.” she says, looking away.
you sigh in defeat, rolling over a little and looking at the ceiling above you.
she sits up, moving from your arms. “y/n i know i fucked up okay, but these past few months have been hell without you. i can’t see other people without feeling guilty and i don’t know why.” she says, not looking at you once
you glance over at her, you can tell she’s being honest. billie doesn’t just say that.
“billie you made me feel used and when i told you, you told me i was dramatic.” you say, looking forward. you couldn’t bare to look at her in the eyes.
she sighs, turning to face you. “i realized that, i never once wanted to make you feel used. it’s just- you scare the shit out of me.” she says laughing softly like she can’t believe it, your brows furrow in response.
“it scares me- the way i feel about you, it was supposed to be just a causal fling. but when i wasn’t around you i felt like i was running on autopilot or some shit- the only time i felt alive was when i was with you. and it scared me. i didn’t know how to deal with it- and i didn’t want to ruin what we had” she says, looking over at you. she speaks like she’s been holding it in for months, which she probably has.
you look over at billie, your eyes soften seeing her expression.
“you wouldn’t of ruined what we had…” you speak softly, and she looks up at you
like she can’t believe it. she can’t believe you felt the same way all along.
“y/n im in love with you. i was 3 months ago and i am now.” she speaks, letting out a deep breath at the end of her sentence.
your brows raise, you never thought you’d hear her say those words.
“give me one more chance, please.” she says, looking into your eyes with desperation. you blink a few times, before gently cupping her face and kissing her.
it felt like a thousand fire works were set off, you missed her lips so much. the way they molded together so perfectly, it was like they were meant to be together. the way her hands gripped your waist was gentle. one of her hands go up and tangle in your hair, holding you in place.
you used to kiss and do this all the time- but this felt different, it wasn’t out of lust anymore, just pure love. it was a good kind of different though. it felt a lot better.
she was first to break the kiss, resting her forehead on yours, looking into your eyes. a soft smile lingers on her face. her hands gently brushing through your hair to smooth it out from her hands roaming your hair.
“so.. can i have one more chance?” she says, raising her brows with a little smile.
you take a moment to pretend like you were thinking about it, but you knew the answer already. you knew the answer the minute you blocked her even if you ignored it. you’d give her as many chances as she needed.
“yes.” you say, smiling back at her.
she giggles softly and kisses you again, her hands gripping your hips and pulling you on her lap playfully. small giggles were heard from both of you as you kissed, both you and billie’s hands roamed around the places you missed most.
maybe you’d regret this in the long run, but fuck if it didn’t feel good to be under her grip again.
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willows-writings · 2 days ago
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‼️This post is part of a choose your own adventure series and is not meant to be read stand-alone. Click HERE to go to the masterlist and Chapter beginnings‼️
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Ask if he's ok
Chapter 2
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Your concern wins you over and you pull back from the kiss. As you pull away Josh lets out a small groan and reaches up to try and kiss you again. You laugh and gently place a hand on his mouth. “Josh, wait, are you doing ok?”
He groans “Y/n no offense but we are not a one night stand who just met each other, we don’t have to do the whole get to know you thing.” he mumbles from behind your hand.
You grin for a moment before your face goes back to serious. “No I mean, with all the guys being here, and I guess… just being here in general.” You remove your hand from his mouth.
His face falls and he moves to sit up, scooting back so his back rests against the headboard and pulling your body with him so you remain on his lap. “Look y/n, in all honesty it freaks me out a bit, I miss them but more than anything I’m happy they all came up here, happy you're here.” He trails a hand down your face and you lean into it. You know there’s more, but you also know these next few days aren’t the time to interrogate him about it. 
“Ok,” You whisper and move your face to press a kiss to his hand “Ok, anything you need I’m here” 
He smiles at you and hugs you close to him. 
Suddenly you hear a noise from outside the room. Josh groans “Someone definitely just broke something, fuck.” He moves you off his lap gently, stands and starts to walk to the door while you remain sitting on the bed.
“Hey,” he turns to your voice, “what if… we just stay here tonight? I mean tension in the group is still running high, there’s a good chance everyone else will stay split off or just go to sleep. We could make hot chocolate and popcorn? Watch a movie? I got a few of those horror films you like downloaded on my computer? It’ll be fun!” You know at this point you're rambling but you can see his face softening the more you talk. 
“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” He briskly walks over to you so he can plant a dramatic kiss on your forehead. When he looks at you again there’s a huge smile plastered across his face. “I’ll check on everyone else and get the food and you can stay here, pulling up that movie, and just stay looking pretty for me which shouldn’t be too hard cause you always are.” He winks and you roll your eyes. “I’ll be no more than an hour, maybe get some rest, it’ll be a long night.” He says the last part while walking out the door in a sing-songy voice. 
You smile before remembering something from earlier. “And you know Chris told me about that snow angels comment from earlier.” He leaned back in the room, his interest peaked. “That will not be happening.”
Josh lets out a laugh as he closes the door behind him.
The door closes behind him and you lay back onto the soft pillows, he’s right, a nap would be nice right about now. You close your eyes and let sleep overtake you.
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End of Chapter 2
You got: Ending #4
Chapter 3: Beginning #4 (coming soon!)
OBaC Masterlist
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I like to think if you were actually playing the game this would be the choice that would increase your relationship with Josh the most.
For anyone confused when this takes place it’s around the time Mike and Jess are walking to the cabin, and before Josh goes with Chris and Ashley. Sam failing to turn the heater on alone was the noise.
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non-un-topo · 1 year ago
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Daily November crying sessions start today
#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week#all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol#like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie#sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f#rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal
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stopthefeeling · 5 months ago
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April 2024 me dared to ask the question: is it possible to hyperfixate on and watch 6 seasons of a show I've never watched before whilst writing an entire undergraduate dissertation in the space of a month, and then pass said dissertation?
June 2024 me has the answer: yes, and pass it with a 2:1!!!!!
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bunnyb34r · 1 year ago
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Man chronic fatigue sure is fun! Yall should get in on this shit!
I used my wheelchair and parked in the handicap spot at a big store and a fast food dine in and holy fuck I'm exhausted
Whenever I do things on hair washing days (which is planned that way bc ocd, if I go out I have to wash my hair) I come out of the shower like I just fought a fucking war man
And I use a shower chair! I'm doing every thing I possibly can to manage my fatigue and mitigate it but good lord
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notanotherblorbo · 5 months ago
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The problem with having friends is that I want to hang out all the time and do things for 1 million years but I am also. Tired. And having a job. And having a family that has a bunch of shit going on all the times.
#i dont have the time or energy to talk to people I HAVE LIKE 4 FRIENDS WHY IS THIS HARD#if i dont talk to each of them at least once a week i feel like an asshole but all of them suck at texting#and dont have schedules that match up with mine#LIKE I LOVE YOU GUYS I JUST DONT HAVE THE ENERGY AFTER WORK#and most of them have terrible sleep schedules so if we hang out when i have work the next day i know that I'll end up staying up too late#and then im just more tired the next day and dont have the energy to do anything#plus ive had a bunch of family stuff going on like my sister moving back in and my cousins coming to stay with us etc etc etc#IT SUCKS CAUSE I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE BECAUSE HALF THE TIME WHEN IM NOT WITH PEOPLE IM NOT DOING ANYTHING I JUST DONT HAVE ANY SPOONS#also all my friends are like “introverts” so when they dont wanna hang out its cause “their social battery is low”-#-but im more extra so why would i be socially tired? why would i be sick of organizing all the hangouts-#-and driving people places and paying for things. <- getting into rant territory#LIKE#can someone else just be like “hey are you free lets hang out” instead of me for once#but then with my one friend who does reach out always wants to discord call for like. HOURS#I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY FOR THAT#and shes the worst when it comes to “im to tired for this but i feel bad saying it” because shes put so much into making sure we keep up#and she doesnt have very many close friends so i feel shitty for not trying harder.#but shes also really tiring to be around because shes mormon still and i have to pretend to be normal and stuff#ughhhhhh#and then like. i know night people talk about how much the world centers around morning people but like#if i have work in the morning im the asshole for not staying up with them till like 1am#I HAVE A JOB I CANT JUST CHOOSE NOT TO SLEEP A BITCH HAS WORK IN THE MORNING#JUST CAUSE I WORK AT A COFFEE SHOP DOESNT MEAN I WANT TO SNORT CAFFEINE TO FUNCTION#ughhhhh#i need a friendgroup so that all my introverts i collect have people to talk to when im too tired#UNFORTUNATELY NONE OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW WOULD GET ALONG#or if they would i dont live close enough to introduce them#feralscreaming
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plumso · 2 months ago
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pure heart (theo x reader)
pairing: theodore nott x reader warning: obsessiveness, possessiveness summary: y/n found theo’s journal. now, she doesn’t know how to act around him. masterlist song recommendation: sweet by cigarettes after sex I do not consent to the reposting of my work! reblogging, however, is fine <3
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The days have been bleak for Y/N — nothing exciting, nothing new. 
Obsessively self-conscious, she has limited herself. She rarely attends social events and avoids any interaction with men. She fidgets in her clothes, she avoids cameras, she overthinks everything she says - it has become too exhausting. She had given up. Now, she finds everything tedious and dull.
Until she found his journal.
Sept. 4 XXXX She looks so beautiful today. I wonder if that’s her perfume, or maybe that’s her natural scent. I wonder if her skin is usually warm or cold. I want to touch her. Y/N Nott.
Sept. 7 XXXX She laughed with some guy. I hate her. She’s too oblivious around men. But she’s too cute. I could never hate her. Y/N Nott.
Sept. 8 XXXX She looks so peaceful when she reads. Haha! She accidentally fell asleep for a bit. I love her so much. Y/N Nott.
Sept. 11 XXXX That guy came up to her again. Fuck him. She looks annoyed. Oh, she ignored him. Good girl. Y/N Nott.
Y/N gasped and shut the journal. Goosebumps were all over her arms, her breath was shaky. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest, and there was this tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach. It’s as if lightning shot through her, awakening every nerve in her body. After months of feeling down and exhausted, she felt truly alive.
But Y/N tried to shake off her conflicting feelings. Despite it seeming like the sweet ramblings of a boy with a crush, some were greatly disturbing. Who could have written this?
She had found the black leather journal left on a windowsill in a hall rarely passed. She looked around, thinking the owner was nearby, but no one was in sight.
Y/N then flipped through the journal. Pages and pages were all about her with each ending off with “Y/N Nott.”
‘Nott?’ Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, wondering why it sounded so familiar. ‘Theodore Nott?’ 
Y/N shook her head. She refused to believe that this journal was from Theo, one of the most notorious Slytherin boys of her year. He’s always so quiet and emotionless. The only interaction she had with him was from a few years ago, but it was so insignificant that it could barely be considered a real interaction.
‘There’s no way that he could have written this,’ she thought. 'But I can’t leave this here. If anybody else sees this, they would think I wrote this about myself.’
After much deliberation, Y/N stuffed the journal in her school bag and headed for her dorm where she spent the rest of the night reading each entry.
***
The next day, Y/N woke up in a daze. With three hours of sleep, Y/N got through only half of the journal. There were many, many entries with the earliest dating back to two years ago, each entry became increasingly obsessive.
Throughout the day, Y/N felt foggy and her face was a bit flushed. She would only snap out of her daze when she became aware of Theo’s presence.
Theo was in all of her classes and he sat only a few seats away from her. Y/N never thought of it much before, but now, she found it strange considering she only has one or two classes with her friends.
During class, she would keep her head down and slightly tilt her head so she could take a peek at Theo. He looked the same as always - emotionless and cold. Could someone like him write such strange and emotional entries?
Y/N considered talking to Theo to see if the journal was his. Maybe test him by asking if he lost something recently. But she was unsure if she wanted to confirm it. She didn’t know if she could face the owner’s strong, overwhelming feelings. And she was somewhat scared of what could happen next.
A few days had passed, and Y/N was becoming worried that the owner YYwill soon approach her. But she couldn’t let go of the journal yet. She was a madman obsessed. In many of the entries, the owner of the journal would describe what Y/N wore. What she ate for breakfast. Who she talked to. Some entries seemed like sweet love poems while some showed stalker tendencies.
Y/N was conflicted. She knows how deranged and disillusioned the owner was. She was scared, yes, but she also felt excited. As she continued to read, all his strange ramblings were starting to sound sweet. She didn’t know if she should be creeped out or flattered. 
But Y/N knew that her time with the journal needed to end. She knew the owner was looking for their journal. She would sometimes feel goosebumps on her back as if someone was staring at her. When this happened, she would hurriedly leave the room. She thought of placing it back where she found it, but she needed to finish reading the journal first.
So, one night, Y/N went to the back of the library and made sure no one was around. She sat on the oak chair and took the journal from her bag. She then flipped to the first page. The ink was a bit smudged and the paper was a bit worn, but it had the same neat handwriting that she became familiar with.
Dec. 3 XXXX Went to Hogsmeade today, but I left the boys.  I didn’t feel like socializing today. Headed to Hog’s Head to read for a bit. I assumed no one would be there, but I was wrong. That quiet girl Y/N was there. She was reading, too. Whatever, I’m sitting far anyways.
Dec. 4 XXXX How come I’ve never talked to her before? She is so beautiful. So sweet. What book was she reading? I’ll have to find it in the library when she’s done with it. Does she know who I am? I should talk to her. No, I don’t want her to be creeped out. I’ll find a better way to talk to her. I think I’m falling for her. Y/N L/N Nott.
Y/N was incredibly confused. What happened that could have caused such a big change? She doesn’t even remember going to Hog’s Head, much less what she did that day.
Y/N furrowed her brows as she thought hard about her trips to Hogsmeade in the last two years. ‘I have been to the Hog’s Head before… but I don’t remember anything spe-
“So, you had it.”
A dark, low voice spoke behind her. Y/N jumped in her seat, goosebumps all over her skin. Just by their voice, Y/N felt shivers run through her back and that tingling sensation in her stomach.
But Y/N couldn’t move. She was frozen, too anxious to turn around and confront him. But she knew who it was. His voice was one she knows all too well.
Suddenly, Y/N felt his warm body lightly pressed on her back. He was now standing behind her. He then slightly bent over her as he flipped through the pages of his journal.
“Here,” he said as he stopped to a certain page. “Read this.”
Confused, Y/N slowly looked up, only to be met with a smiling Theo.
“Come on. Read it for me. Please.”
Y/N reluctantly nodded. “February 14 XXXX. Some boys left candy on her table. Bunch of idiots. I threw it all away. I wanted her to only have mine. It’s mint chocolate, her favorite. I know everything that she likes. I-I’m the only one who can treat her right…” Y/N trailed off, unsure if she should say the next part.
“Continue.”
“S-she’s mine. I love her so much. She’ll see that one day. Y/N Nott.” Y/N’s breath was shaky and her mind was becoming a bit foggy. She knew this situation wasn’t normal. He’s too calm. Too scary. But for some reason, she was filled with anticipation. 
“You were the one who gave me the mint chocolate?” Y/N asked, looking back up at Theo.
He nodded.
“And… you wrote this journal?”
He smiled. 
“I was searching everywhere for the journal. My name isn’t on it, so I wasn’t worried about getting caught. But… I didn’t want any more attention on you,” Theo said as took the seat next to her. “But then you started acting strange. You would get nervous around me. It was so cute.” He chuckled and the tingling sensation in Y/N’s stomach grew more prominent.
“I’m glad you found it,” Theo said as he gently took Y/N’s hand. “Now you know how much I love you. How much I think about you.”
Y/N’s mind was going haywire. She didn’t know what to think or what to say. Goosebumps were still all over her skin, but she could only focus on his sweet words and warm hands. 
“Y/N…” he trailed as he leaned closer to her. He placed her palm on his chest, purposely trying to make her feel his heartbeat. It was racing fast. “I couldn’t ask you on Valentines, but… will you be mine?”
When Y/N read through his journal, she knew he was dangerous. His feelings were too strong, too overwhelming. He was obsessive and possessive. She was anxious about what would happen if she reciprocated.
But as she looked at Theo’s handsome face with her palm on his broad chest, she felt seen and alive. His love, his sincerity - it’s hard to believe it’s all real. And it’s too intoxicating to deny.
“Y-yes. I want to be yours."
*** bonus: hog’s head interaction ***
December 3, XXXX
“Welcome!” The shopkeeper of Hog’s Head yelled as he filled up a cup of juice from behind the counter.
Theo scrapped the snow off his shoes before entering, unwrapping the scarf around his neck. “Black coffee, please,” Theo said before walking to the table farthest from the other customer.
Theo then rummages through his bag, taking out a book and his new leather journal. He received it from a teacher who recommended writing entries of gratitude or special moments. After putting it off for months, he finally set a goal for himself to write the first entry today.
As Theo wrote his first entry, the shopkeeper placed the black coffee on the table. He then went back to refill the other customer’s cup. Theo took a sip and observed the small figure of the other customer. She looked familiar. 
The other customer looked up from her book to thank the shopkeeper. She set her book down and slightly stretched her back before taking a sip of her juice. She looks around the building before spotting Theo. She jumped a little, startled to see someone else there. She was too caught up in her book to notice her surroundings. She quickly composed herself before giving him a warm smile. She then turned back around and continued with her book.
In that short moment, Theo was hooked. When she smiled, something within him suddenly clicked. As if he was now complete. Something within him changed, his desires growing and morphing. 
‘Y/N… what was her last name again? Ah, L/N. Y/N L/N. No… Y/N Nott.’
***
a/n: i do not condone stalking or extreme possessiveness. this is entirely unrealistic and fiction. however, it is nice to imagine that a handsome man is so in love with you that he's obsessed lol. i also named this "pure heart" for irony because he views his feelings as pure, but is it really?? also, for those into smut, you can definitely imagine this leading to an s x m dynamic, so it makes the title even more funny lol. anywho, hope you enjoyed it!
here is part two for more <3
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loserlvrss · 1 month ago
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𝐀 𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 l. minho ( 이민호 )
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synopsis | minho will always take care of who he loves, and you love that.
pairing : lee minho x fem!reader genre : drabble, domestic fluff warnings : mentions of being sick & food, skinship word count : 0.6k authors note : i know u know lee know btw
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“just sit down,” your boyfriend was pushing you into the barstool beside the kitchen island.
your arms crossed over your front, features pouting. “you know, minho, i’m sick, not useless.” you exaggerated with your hands, swinging them out beside you. “i can—i can, i don’t know, cut up the carrot or something!”
he smiled adoringly at you, like one would a cute animal or small child, and shook his head. “what kind of chef boyfriend would i be if i made you do the work?”
you rolled your eyes, knowing that it was ultimately useless to argue with the lee minho; he’d get what he wanted in the end. and frankly, you weren’t good at cooking. that’s why you two worked so well, he had his little hobby to destress and you were always fed. a win-win.
so, when you woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach ache, only sleeping a couple hours after that, he was quick to jump into the kitchen. he wanted to make you something his mom would make when he was sick as a kid—you found the gesture sickeningly sweet. he must really love you, you thought.
he’d gotten started in silence. usually he’d let you talk about everything and nothing at the same time, but he’d never pry if you didn’t feel like it. and, today must’ve been one of those days, as you just watched with closed lips.
he looked so beyond good when he cooked—arguably better than the food. and nothing was more attractive than his desire to take care of you. he didn’t even go back to sleep until he knew you were okay, trailing you into the bathroom and getting you medicine before you even asked. he made sure you were warm and properly cuddled under the blankets (in his arms), rubbing your back until peacefully off in dreamland.
honestly, you owe those couple of hours to him.
“hey, minho?” the silence was finally broken, your boyfriend stopping all his movements for a second and looking at you. his eyebrows rose in a non-verbal approval to go on and ask. “i know we’re already dating, but i have a big crush on you. i just thought you should know.”
he huffed out a laugh, “is that so?”
“yeah, in case you want to do anything with that knowledge.” you admitted innocently, “like marriage or something.”
“i plan on it, love.”
you made a face, something between disbelief, mock-disgust and blushing. “if you were over here i’d kiss you… thrice.”
he eyed you suspiciously, “you just didn’t want to say twice ��cause then i’d start dancing to alcohol free.”
“maybe,” you joked, getting from your chair and making your way around the counter. he pretended to be offended, steadily chopping up the various vegetables again, and ignoring you. “you know i love your one-man show, baby.”
he smirked slightly—though you couldn’t see—but still was childishly giving you the silent treatment. you pleaded, wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing his clothed spine once, before pressing your cheek to it. “there’s literally no one else i’d rather listen to sing red velvet while they shower.”
“i knew you listened, weirdo.” he chuckled, “if you wanted me to sing to you, i would, you don’t have to creep around.”
you lightly squeezed, “oh, shut up.”
and then suddenly he burst out into song, scaring you, but then sending you into a fit of giggles as the choreography soon followed; the knife safely out of his grip.
you watched in awe of his playfulness, disguised by straight lips and lidded eyes. you really couldn’t read a book by its cover, you thought, because this stupidly-handsome book always knew how to make you feel better.
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please reblog and like <3 comments are appreciated ! thank you 4 reading © loserlvrss 2024 all rights reserved. 
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back to masterlist !
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fredwkong · 11 months ago
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The Voice in Your Head
Graham was excited about moving into his new apartment. It was in a nice part of town, with good transit access to his job, plus it was pretty spacious for the price. Graham could just picture himself, his plants, maybe a boyfriend, all fitting neatly into the apartment, with its nice hardwood floors and retrofit kitchen.
So, he was quite surprised, on moving day, when the neighbour across the hall grabbed his arm and pulled him aside. “There’s something weird about that unit,” the guy hissed in a low voice.
“What are you talking about?” Graham frowned. This guy looked totally ordinary in every way, in his button-up shirt and neatly parted hair. There was no way he was some crazy conspiracy nut.
“The guys who live in there,” the guy continued, seeming frantic, “they change. Most of them get spooked and move out in a few weeks. I’ve never seen one last longer than two months. That’s why the rent is so low.”
“Bull.” Graham tugged himself free. “What is this, some kind of weird building hazing or something? What a way to greet a neighbour.”
As he marched away to unlock the door for the movers, Graham felt his new neighbour’s eyes on his back.
Even though he did his best to put the strange conversation out of his mind, Graham kept thinking about the guy’s words as he unpacked for the rest of the day. He had seemed way too sincere for a prank.
At one point, one of the movers gave a sudden shudder and dropped a box full of Graham’s work shirts and coat hangers. “Sorry,” he muttered, blinking away the wild look in his eyes as his coworkers stared, “there was a...smell.” Graham noticed that he was one of the first to leave the apartment to go wait in the moving van once everything was carried in.
Left alone after the movers set up the basics—bed, couch, dining table, desk, TV stand—Graham stood in the kitchen, trying to recapture his excitement for the new apartment. He couldn’t help feeling like the sunlight through the big windows of the living room looked a little watery, like it couldn’t fully enter the space. Even though it was nice and warm inside the apartment, Graham felt strangely clammy, and he couldn’t settle down.
In an attempt to use the restless energy, Graham paced to the bedroom and cut open his boxes of work clothes. He had a pretty ordinary cubicle job, so there was a certain standard of professionalism to meet, but Graham also loved business clothes. Getting dressed for work, for Graham, was like putting on a professional person, like he could pretend to be someone else for 8 hours a day. He had dozens of slim-fit button-ups for his skinny body, perfectly chosen to match his pale skin. Matching sets of slacks and blazers quickly filled the closet.
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The action was soothing, and pretty soon Graham was unpacking his loafers. He’d cleaned them before putting them in the box, but he decided to give them a quick polish before putting them on the shoe rack. As he went to get a rag, Graham suddenly thought, I bet those won’t fit for long.
He stopped, halfway to the kitchen. The thought had been so out of character and strange. But, it sounded like his internal voice. It was a weird feeling.
Don’t worry about it.
Graham shook his head and resolved not to worry about it, grabbing the rag and putting his shoes away.
That night, Graham had trouble getting to sleep. It was like he couldn’t get warm, even under all the covers. He tossed and turned until, finally, he drifted off.
It was still dark when his eyes opened. Somewhere around 4 AM. Feeling strangely detached from himself, Graham swung out of bed and padded to the bathroom.
Looking into the mirror in the darkness, Graham found himself stripping out of his silk pyjamas to see his own skinny, pale body. His lips moved, and Graham heard himself mumble, “We’ve got a lot of work to do.”
As if puppeted by someone else, Graham’s body moved through a series of bodybuilding poses. “There’s potential, though,” he heard himself mumble into the darkness.
He lifted up his arm and stuck his nose into his armpit, frowning. “Don’t worry, dude, you’re in good hands,” Graham’s voice told him. “I’ll go slow so you don’t get spooked.” Then he chuckled to himself. “Heh, spooked.”
The morning sun had Graham blinking awake. He’d had a strange dream, talking to himself in the bathroom. But as he pushed aside the covers, Graham frowned. He was naked, even though he always slept in pyjamas.
The pyjamas were on the bathroom floor, tossed carelessly. Well, Graham thought, maybe he’d overheated…while on the toilet.
Anyway, he’d been too tired to take a shower last night, but he definitely needed one before work today. Graham stepped into the shower and turned the tap, but was disappointed to hear a gurgling somewhere in the pipes. Only a few drops came out.
One more day won’t hurt.
“One more day won’t hurt,” Graham said, vocalising what his inner voice had said. He would email the building manager and get the shower fixed today. In the meantime, he applied a few extra layers of deodorant and fixed his hair as best as he could.
Still, Graham was self-conscious all day. He dreaded any coworker getting close enough to smell him or notice that his skin was a little greasy. By lunch break, he had rehearsed in his head a whole speech about walking to work to explain why he was so gross. It was a relief when the clock hit 5 PM and no one commented.
The repair man was standing outside Graham’s apartment when he got home, and he let them in. Apparently, there was nothing obviously wrong with the shower. It even ran on the repair man’s first try at turning the tap. Still, the man recommended that Graham put aside some tap water in case it kept acting up. At least he could take a sponge bath.
No problem, it’s not an urgent fix.
“No problem, it’s not an urgent fix.” Graham wasn’t sure why he’d said that. It was like someone else had spoken through his lips. It was kind of urgent to have regular showers. But he shook hands with the repair man and smiled as he saw him out. If the shower was just randomly acting up, he’d learn to adapt to it.
The guy across the hall looked out his door while Graham stood there, thinking through the strange thought he’d had. “You okay?” he asked. “Nothing…weird happening in there?”
Nothing to worry about.
“Nothing to worry about.” Graham smiled at his neighbour. Yeah, he was feeling pretty relaxed. With his move done, he really did have nothing to worry about. He was just jittery about his new place. “Graham, by the way.”
“Leo,” said the neighbour, still looking rather nervous. “You sure? Usually, guys go screaming down the hall their first night, yelling about feet and nightmares, like they're being haunted.”
Not this time.
“Not this time.” Maybe Leo really was some kind of conspiracy theorist. Graham still had more unpacking to do. “Nice to meet you.” He closed the door.
First things first, though, Graham wanted to finally get his first shower in his new place. He went and turned the tap.
Nothing.
Graham took a deep breath to calm himself down and went to fill a pot with water from the kitchen sink.
Hahahahaha. Laughter filled his mind. Graham froze in the middle of the kitchen. No matter what, his mental voice laughing at him couldn’t be a good sign, right?
The only thing to do with a problem is laugh.
That logic seemed sound. It wasn’t the way Graham usually dealt with problems, though. He was the kind of guy who tended to panic at the slightest opportunity.
He must be maturing.
Chuckling a bit to himself, Graham went to get his basin of water for a sponge bath.
The sponge baths really weren’t so bad, and by the time the shower started working randomly a few days later, Graham couldn’t find any of his soap or shampoo. He had a vague memory of dreaming that he’d thrown them out, but that was ridiculous. Every time he thought about getting more bathing supplies, he’d have the thought that it was just a lot of effort. He was doing fine with water alone, why complicate it?
One night a week or so after his move, Graham found himself staring at his ceiling late in the night. He must be dreaming again. He felt his lips move. “I think I’m gonna try moving in for real, just a bit. Don’t mind me.”
Suddenly, Graham’s feet went ice cold, and a strange, wet, slippery sensation slid into his feet. They felt…tight, like they were overfull somehow.
“Yeah, you’re gonna be a tight fit. Don’t worry, I’ll work you in slowly,” said Graham’s mouth.
Still with that strange, distant sensation, as if he wasn’t in control of his body, Graham sat up in bed and swung his feet to the floor. He watched as his toes wriggled and something shifted under the skin. They did look a little bloated. Over several minutes, Graham watched like a passenger while his feet flexed back and forth, looking a little larger with each twist of the arch and ankle. Dark hair began to sprout on his growing toes.
At last, they seemed to stabilise, and Graham’s body lifted his right foot up. A faint, but distinctive, aroma rose from the massive sole. “Mmm, smells like being alive,” said Graham’s mouth with a smirk.
The next morning, Graham laid in bed for a long time. He’d never been a foot guy, so this dream was especially strange. He realised, thinking back on it, that his cock had, in fact, been hard the entire time. There was even a stain in his Calvins—somehow, every night he’d worn pyjamas to bed he’d tossed them off while dreaming—like he’d had a wet dream.
When he got out of bed, he wondered why his feet looked oddly tan against the skin of his legs. And, later, why they felt strangely snug in his loafers. They pinched where they had felt perfectly comfortable before.
When he got home, it was a relief to tear his shoes off, but Graham wrinkled his nose at the sharp aroma emanating from his sweaty socks. That was it, he resolved, he needed to stop procrastinating and wash himself properly again.
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But it is sort of hot.
Graham paused as he was about to start making a shopping list. If he really thought about it, the scent was kind of hot. No one had mentioned that Graham wasn’t soaping up his body or deodorizing anymore. The smell from his feet hadn’t bothered anyone. It was like it was his own little dirty secret. Like another role he could play underneath his work role.
And the smell really was sort of attractive.
“New shoes” went on the shopping list.
Some sneakers, too. To get really smelly.
Right, Graham didn’t want to mess up any work shoes as he experimented with this new interest of his. “Sneakers.”
It was like his dream had opened a floodgate. Every night, Graham dreamed of his feet growing erotically, and each day they were just a bit larger, with just a bit more stink built up on them. In his dreams, Graham talked to himself, talking about getting gym equipment, a bunch of new clothes, even about how boring Graham found his job.
More and more, Graham found himself agreeing with his dreaming self. One evening, he put a bunch of gym equipment into his Amazon cart, then turned off his computer. Gym stuff cost a lot of money, he needed to be sure he wanted to buy it. But that night, he dreamed about sitting at his computer to finalise the order, and the equipment arrived a few days later. At that point, it seemed like a waste to return it, so Graham set it up in the spare room, where he had originally planned to have a library.
Books are boring.
Graham had decided books were boring.
Any time he was at home now, Graham kept finding himself thinking, “I should do a few reps.” The results were unbelievable, with muscles thickening all over his body in what seemed like just a few days. It wasn’t long before Graham was outgrowing all of his clothes, quickly wearing out three new pairs of jeans in as many weeks.
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Sweats are better anyway.
Graham’s new fitness obsession extended into his dreams, too. The cold, slippery sensation still enveloped his feet every night, but it also covered most of his body now. In his dreams, Graham would feel himself get out of bed and strut to the bathroom to pose and flex as his muscles grew larger and larger, until they bulged off his frame.
Once his muscles had grown thick and tanned dark, Graham’s dreams went in a few different directions. Often, he would watch in the mirror as he sniffed his armpits or feet, jacking the thick, musky foreign cock that had grown in place of his average, cut dick. Sometimes, Graham would hear himself say, “Nah, needs some more,” after sniffing himself. Then, he would go to his home gym and pump out reps until he was coated in sweat.
He always woke up aching and coated in stale sweat after those dreams, with a pungent scent emanating from his armpits and shockingly larger feet.
Every few nights, Graham had a dream where he would run his thick, callused hands over his neck and face, subtly pinching and compressing his face until a handsome stranger looked back at him in the mirror. “There, that’s the real me,” he would say to himself in a deep, smokey voice.
After those dreams, Graham was always surprised to see his normal face in the mirror. And yet, there would be a familiar sharpness to his jaw, or the set of his dark eyebrows, that reminded him of the face in his dreams.
The world outside his apartment felt increasingly strange. It was like a part of his internal voice was missing. He had trouble understanding his own thoughts, now. It was like he was a jumble of two different people. Had he really used to spend most of his free time reading library books? Was he really the kind of guy who didn’t put himself up for a bonus at the end of the year?
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The apartment was safe and secure. It was like Graham’s mind was wrapped in calm and good sense as soon as he walked in. His mind spoke louder, which let him make better decisions, like the time that he wore sweats and T-shirt to work. It had made perfect sense when he walked out the door, but then he had stumbled over his words when he tried to explain to his boss why he was dressed appropriately for work.
Long story short, Graham was arriving home early today. He was just unlocking his door when Leo came barrelling up the stairs in running gear. He stopped when he spotted Graham, just stepping over the threshold and into the wonderful calm of his apartment.
“Who are—Graham?” Leo stared at him. “Is that really you?”
Graham looked down at himself, then back over at Leo. “Uh, yeah?”
“No way. You’re so…muscular and tan. I barely recognise your face.”
“Yeah, I had a bit of a growth spurt.” Graham flexed a bicep with a grin.
“A growth spurt powered by anabolics and a talented plastic surgeon, sure,” Leo was frowning at him.
Graham was kind of offended by his rude neighbour. He’d put a lot of hard work into this body!
Yeah, I have. Get him in the apartment.
“Look,” Graham sighed, the words spilling from his lips like in his dreams, “I’ve had a bad day. Just come inside if you want to talk.”
Leo seemed to hesitate, just for an instant. “But that’s the—“
“Either get inside, or get out of my face.” Graham’s voice sounded a bit gruff to his ears, beyond just the depth that it had gained over the months he’d lived here. It was like it was another man’s voice.
Leo shook himself. “Okay.” He steeled himself and followed Graham over the threshold.
Perfect.
“Whew, it’s ripe in here, man,” Leo observed. “Do you ever shower?”
“Just with cold water.” Graham kicked out of his sneakers, freeing his massive, socked feet and stretching them out. More and more, he felt separate from his body, as if he was watching it move. Still, it hadn’t done anything he wouldn’t have done, he thought. He was just playing another role.
“Well, clearly, it’s not…enough…” Graham watched, his mouth held in a strange smile, as Leo seemed to lose his train of thought. The man’s nostrils flared, and he swayed slightly.
“Yeah, not so mighty and judgmental anymore,” said Graham’s voice. “You’ve forced me to move up my schedule a bit, but it’s not a problem.”
Leo licked his lips before answering. “Sorry, sir,” he said thickly.
“You’re the guy who’s been helping my potential bodies escape, aren’t you?”
“I warn them about this apartment…I keep listings for new places they can go…” Leo’s eyes started to clear, and he shook his head. “No, wait, what the fuck—“
In a flash, Graham leapt into action. He didn’t know how he got one of his sneakers in his hand, but he grabbed Leo in a headlock and shoved his face into the putrid interior. “Nuh-uh-uh, no escapes or exorcisms this time,” Graham’s voice whispered, as Leo thrashed in his strong arms. “The more you fight, the more you fall. Isn’t it hot? My sexy, sweaty new body all around you, and the smell and taste of my foot musk all over your face?”
As Graham spoke, Leo’s struggles weakened. Graham watched with amusement as they both slumped to the floor, a rock-hard boner growing in Leo’s running shorts.
Finally, Graham’s grip on the sneaker loosened, even as Leo reached up to hold it himself. “Look, this is all just a misunderstanding,” Graham’s said soothingly. “You’ve thought I was a sexy beast since I moved in, right? You loved my big, musky muscles and my foot stink. That’s why you made up that story about a haunted apartment.”
Leo’s eyes seemed to be rolling uncontrollably in his head, but he nodded.
“Now I’ve finally noticed you and invited you inside. You just couldn’t help yourself, you foot slut. You were gonna tackle me before I gave you that shoe to lick.”
Leo nodded fervently, moaning. A wet spot was forming at his crotch.
“Now we’re gonna go to the bedroom and I’m gonna shove my cheesy uncut cock in that virgin hole of yours, okay bro?”
“Fuck,” Leo gasped, muffled through the shoe. “Fuck yes, Graham.”
“Nah, man,” said Graham’s voice, picking Leo up like he was a doll, “I’d rather you call me Grey.”
As Grey’s thick cock entered Leo, Graham found himself watching as if from outside himself. He could see his own handsome, angular face as he fucked Leo. He could see Grey’s massive, musky feet shift as he gained a better angle to make Leo squeal. He could even watch the dribbles of sweat run over his thick ass as his voice gave short, sharp pants.
“Fuck yeah,” Grey said to himself in a harsh voice, picking up the pace.
“This is my body.”
“This is my fucking musk temple.”
“Made it all by my-fucking-self.”
“Feels fucking good to be alive.”
As Grey buried his thick, musky cock deep in Leo, shaking through his orgasm, Graham found himself back inside his body. Once again, he watched like a passenger as Grey licked his load out of Leo’s asshole, then sent his happy new foot slut on his way with a spare sneaker and instructions to stop using soap and add Grey's contact info to his bank account.
Eventually, Grey lounged on the couch, naked, idly stroking his slimy, still-lubed cock and scrolling through Grindr. “What do you think, Graham?” he said out loud. “Since it's my first night able to leave the apartment, I should go crash some boys’ b-ball game and make some more foot slaves, right?”
Graham couldn’t help but agree. He was just the voice in Grey’s head, after all.
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This story is a slightly belated holiday gift for @idesofrevolution! Happy holidays, and here's to a hot and sexy new year ;)
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nouverx · 9 months ago
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A very specific idea/scenario I have about Alastor's sleeping habits
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He barely even sleeps in the first place. He sleeps like only a few hours a week, in one go. He locks himself up in his room once a week, sleeps for 4 hours straight and that's it. And since he doesn't sleep much, each time he does he falls into a deep slumber and it's absolutely impossible to wake him up he's straight up passed out until he gets fully recharged.
He does this because the idea of being in a vulnerable position where anyone could do anything to him while he's completely defenseless is too unsettling for him, so he sleeps as little as he can and always makes sure he's locked up first, away from everyone else's eyes.
HOWEVER, one time he's playing cards with the rest of the hotel, and because he got unconsciously so comfortable around them, he accidently falls asleep on the couch during the game. Everyone is shocked because they didn't even know he actually needed to sleep (they always hear him walk around the hotel humming at night like an absolute creep so they just all collectively assumed he didn't need to sleep).
Charlie panicks a little because nothing seems to wake him up, but he's still breathing and seems fine, eventually they all just let him sleep there and keep on going with their card games since the noise doesn't seem to bother him. Charlie even put a blanket on him, and Angel initially wants to draw something on his face as a prank but in the end everyone agrees not to try anything like this, because who knows how the radio demon would react,,, could be dangerous.
A few hours later Alastor finally wakes up, immediately understands what happened and plays it cool like "Oh dear, looks like I passed out, too bad I couldn't finish the game :) oopsie" but internally he's SCREAMING
EDIT: greykolla was faster than me and made a comic about it it's so so good 😭 crying
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danadaria · 4 months ago
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Steddie Olympic AU where Eddie gets on his first Olympics for BMX freestyle, and it's so weird because he has been in competitions for many years but nothing like this, something so big and with so many rules.
His background was being a hyperkinetic kid who didn't really care about his life, and somehow being fearless and doing acrobatics became his career. Still, even then it wasn't so serious.
His thing were the X-games and open exhibitions, with fire, hard rock & metal, tattoos, and having RedBull as a sponsor.
Behind the adrenaline he and his friends are a bunch of clowns who just wanted to fly and have the bones of a child forever.
But now he's here: in the middle of a giant line in an ocean of other athletes, wearing a fucking blazer from Ralph Lauren and with the lamest jeans he had to wear in his entire life.
And everything is kinda awful, because he lost sight of friends (Gareth and Max, both skaters, but they train in the same place), and he just heard there's no McDonald's at the Olympics this year.
He doesn't even like McDonald's so much, but god, he grow up hearing about athletes eating hundreds of burgers and mcnuggets for free, and sue him, but his inner child was super excited about it.
"Are you ok, man?"
Eddie opens his mouth to give a snarky remark when he sees the most beautiful man in existence – GORGEOUS v-shape, honey eyes, pink pouty lips, and kissable moles– looking at him with concern.
"Yeah, yeah. Everything is okey-dokey" He says lamely.
The most beautiful man in existence snorts at him.
"Okey-dokey? What are you? Five?"
"Probably. I was sad because I found out today there's no free McDonald's this year. Now that I know I'm not sure if it is worth being here"
Eddie's future husband looks surprised for a second and laughs at him.
"Are you serious?"
"Of course. I read some people ate so many nuggets they left the Olympics cackling like a chicken: I wanted to be one of them!"
"Oh, yeah. I ate lots of them post-competition"
"See?!"
"Ok, I give you that. But this year there's going to be international cuisine and all that jazz"
"Knowing me, I'm going to get too overwhelmed with the options and I'll end with the saddest oatmeal every day."
"You have lots of food opinions for someone that's on a sports event"
"Well, is either that or thinking that my biggest rivals are a bunch of 15-year-olds from Brazil and Japan."
"Oh? What's your sport?"
"BMX freestyle"
"That's the race in the mountains?"
"That's literally BMX racing."
"Right." He looked ashamed.
Eddie needed to fix that look, now.
"And you? What's your poison?"
"Poison? You mean my sport?" Eddie nods at him encouragingly. "Gymnastics."
"I can see it." Eddie looks at him approvingly, "You have the arms of a gymnast, big boy."
The face of Eddie's future husband turns a beautiful shade of red. And Eddie is just a second away to ask for his name, and his number to change the course of his life, when he feels a hand on the jacket's collar.
"Here you are, loser. We need to go this way!"
And before Eddie can say anything, Max Mayfield (his new arch-nemesis) takes him away from the love of his life.
He says bye with a hand before being cruelly separated, disappearing into a sea of people.
"Do you want to be murdered before or after the opening ceremony, Red?"
"Oh, shut up loser."
____________________________________________________________
Steve is going back with his best friend to their apartment, feeling super frustrated. Somehow, 24 hours ago, he thought it would be a good idea to give his phone to his best friend for the inauguration night to avoid getting too excited and watching videos of the event until 4 am.
And now he was regretting ALL his life choices.
"You don't understand Robin, I met a super cute guy, but I couldn't get his name! I'm only going to search that and nothing else"
"Steve, you made me swear I wouldn't pass your phone on inauguration day, no matter the reason. You need to sleep"
"Easy for you to say. You didn't meet someone when you didn't have your phone!"
"I would understand better than anyone! I met the cutest girl competing at air riffle, aaaand I didn't have my phone either!"
"You gave her your presentation card, didn't you"
"Yes, sorry."
"See? Why didn't you make me buy some for me, too?"
They arrive at their floor. Steve knows they're a little obnoxious, but it was the first night and it's still early.
"Good night, neighbors! Isn't it too early in the event to be fighting?"
Steve looks up so fast, he probably hurt his neck a little bit. At the end of the hallway, sitting on the floor next to a very closed door, was Steve's meet-cute: All smiley, charming, and inviting.
"It's you!"
"Oh! Hi Mr. Gymnastics, and hi unknown lady."
"It's Robin Buckley," She says and goes straight to her apartment, "we probably going to see each other again, so good night".
And she closes the door firmly behind her.
"I didn't have. I mean. I don't have my phone to search for you."
The other boy looks at him, almost evaluating him, before giving Steve a big smile and offering his hand to stretch.
"Eddie Munson."
"Steve Harrington."
"So, would you-"
"There's a McDonald's near where I compete tomorrow. Would you like to go with me?"
Eddie stands up and walks until he's in front of Steve. He smiles.
"Would love it. After all, it was my childhood dream."
Steve smiles too.
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totallybakedcake · 5 months ago
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Boyfriend headcanons kaiju no 8 boys
Reno
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Whenever you both are outside training or near anyone, he does nothing more affectionate than holding your hand at most, but when you both are at home, he does not let go of you. Back hugging you and snuggling into you. It's his favorite thing to do.
He loves to be the little spoon while cuddling. He always wants to be in your embrace while sleeping, or else he cannot sleep all night. "Name, can we please cuddle? I had a rough day." He says in such an adorable voice that how could you deny him?
He is a great cook and always makes you mouth-watering dishes to eat all day. He just loves seeing you enjoy his dishes and eat them so cutely.
He loves at-home dates. He just loves watching any movies, shows, or anime you want to watch as he cuddles you. When you both had your anniversary and you were in the mood for something fancy, he decorated the living room with flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, and gifts to surprise you. 
Hoshina
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He absolutely loves it when you pamper him with all your affection. Cupping his face. Giving him onslaught kisses, burying your head in his neck. Whenever he thinks about that, His day becomes one of the best.
Hoshina is an overly protective boyfriend. The moment he comes home, he checks your body for any wounds. Whenever he even sees you interact with one of the juniors, he makes sure the both of you don't talk for more than 3 minutes, or else the game is over. He makes sure you feel safe and protective.
Hoshina loves giving you a flower and chocolate every day. He always has a bundle of chocolates with him and goes to a local flower shop to get you any cute flower.
He loves picnic dates and afternoon dates. He loves to take you to a quiet park. Lay down a blanket and rest in your lap as you and him talk for hours and hours. Picnic dates are usually in the morning, as he likes to take you out on brunches too. 
Kafka
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He is the most affectionate boyfriend. He gives you many warm hugs every day. He loves to kiss your temple as you relax on top of him.
He loves hearing you talk. Your voice is just so comforting. He brings you to his lap and burys his face in your neck as you talk about anything.
He does not show his jealous side, as he knows you are loyal to him, but one thing he makes sure of is that you have a healthy routine. If he does not know that you have eaten well, slept well, and are drinking plenty of water, he has to check up on you because his mind keeps thinking about you.
Even though he does not look like it. Kafka is a fancy man. He takes you out to fancy restaurants to eat at on dates. He always has a private reservation ready for you and him. After all, your happiness is Kafka's happiness.
Gen
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Gen has made you obsessed with gaming too. After all, games are addicting. He got you all kinds of gaming consoles and game figures to play with him.
A lot, meaning everyone asks you. Why choose Gen? An irresponsible captain who has such an attitude and is careless, but what they haven't seen is Gen's soft side. He makes sure you are okay. He cannot focus on anything unless you are safe. Once on a Kaiju mission when you got injured. Gen stayed up all night. Not touching his games or electronics once, as he needed to take care of you and make sure you were safe. Not letting you go on a mission unless you are recovered.
Even if he is loyal. He is the most jealous person ever. He knows your beauty and your aura, which makes people gravitate towards you. So, he makes sure to have you near him at all times, not letting you even talk to a guy in peace.
He loves arcade dates and karaoke dates, but if you don't want to go there, He takes you to amusement parks and water parks. Gen loves an adventure.
Hey yall. First ever post on tumblr so the writing may be tacky and awkward cause I wrote this in the middle of the night but I couldn't stop myself from writing for kaiju no 8 after finishing the whole manga in 4 days.
Have a great day!
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alvie-pines · 3 months ago
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my take on batfam sleep schedules (and everything else they do)
bruce
10pm - 5am : patrol [7hr] 6am - 2pm : sleep [8hr] 3pm - 9pm : work from home, sometimes dinner with the kids [6hr]
bruce has the benefit of being able to choose his own work hours and work from home. still, he pushes himself round the clock to keep on top of his life as both batman and bruce wayne. his sleep is perfectly optimized and scheduled; not a minute more than he thinks he needs to operate at peak functionality.
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dick
11pm - 4am : patrol [5hr] 5am - 1pm : sleep [8hr] 2pm - 10pm : work [8hr]
dick works full time, and his body naturally needs a lot of sleep, so regretfully, rather than cutting into his sleep time he cut into patrol time to make his schedule work. ideally, he'd be sleeping closer to 10 hours, but he can't afford it.
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jason
6pm - 1am : work [7hr] 2am - 11am : sleep [9hr] 12pm - 5pm : whatever he wants basically [5hr]
jason has the least time crunch, because he's the only one whose "night job" actually pays. he has a pretty passive income as a crime lord. he just needs to go out every so often and remind the streets why they pay up to him.
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tim
2am - 6am : patrol [4hr] 7am - 3pm : school [8hr] 3pm - 6pm : homework & hygiene/food [3hr] 6pm - 1am : sleep [7hr]
tim is not doing so well. i hc that tim is anemic and suffers from chronic fatigue, so he needs way more sleep than he is getting. he cant negotiate his class times, and he needs to do his homework in order to pass. he's not willing to cut patrol time down past 4 hours, so that leaves him with really not quite enough time to sleep. he's married to caffeine.
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duke
11pm - 6am : sleep [7hr] 7am - 3pm : school [8hr] 4pm - 8pm : patrol [4hr] 8pm - 11pm : food, homework etc [3hr]
duke is only managing because he's okay with a shorter daily patrol and doesnt need as much sleep as tim. he's also the only batfam member who actually sleeps at night.
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damian
10pm - 5 am : patrol with bruce [7hr] 5am - 6am : nap [1hr] 7am - 3pm : school [8hr] 4pm - 9pm : sleep [5hr]
damian does all his homework at hyperspeed during study hall and in the car driving to and from school. because he is insane. damian also has the ability to powernap like the dead. that 1hr actually does something for him.
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cass
9pm - 6am : patrol [9hr] 7am - 4pm : sleep [9hr] 5pm - 8pm : whatever she wants basically [3hr]
cass, like jason, doesnt have a big time crunch due to being unemployed and not in school. yay! she used to spend time trying to learn to read and write, but it was just frustrating for her so eventually they decided she should quit.
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you may notice that there is not a single time when they are all awake and available to have a family meal. they have to plan those well in advance. its a whole event.
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readychilledwine · 10 months ago
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Heavy
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Summary - Being a mother is so much harder than you expected, especially when Cassian is gone
Warnings - motherhood, signs of postpartum
A/N- I needed therapy, and this happened. To all my readers who are moms, readers who want to become moms, or dedicated aunts who are bonus moms: you are all amazing, strong, and valued.
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You closed your eyes as your daughter cried out for the fifth time tonight. 
She had just fallen asleep. She was warm, content, fed, clean diaper. You didn't know what you were doing wrong, but when she wasn't on your chest, her small wails would break the silence of the House of Wind. You sat up, picking her up to try to stop the crying and sat against the headboard. 
Cassian had been gone for the past 4 days in Windhaven. He had, begrudgingly, agreed to go with Rhys and Azriel. Each item he packed was slammed into his bag haphazardly before he finally realized his anger was keeping your daughter awake, her little wings fluttering with each loud noise. He had slept with her skin to skin the whole night. He refused to allow anyone else to hold his girl before he left in the morning. 
And Gods her cries when she realized daddy wasn't there, that daddy wasn't going to cuddle after feedings with mommy that day, they shattered you. 
She loved her daddy. She loved you. She wanted you both at all times.
But daddy had to work, you would whisper before crying too. 
Tonight had been your last straw. You didn't remember the last time you bathed and changed clothing, the last time you slept for more than 30 to 45 minutes at a time.
The tears came before you could stop them. Cassian's absence had taken a huge toll on your mental health as you constantly had your newborn attached to your breasts, in your arms sleeping on you, crying for you if you so much as left the room to go to the bathroom.
You leaned your head back crying with her little sniffles, “I know, babygirl. I miss daddy too.” 
Cassian glared at Rhys as your stress and emotion stuck him. You had grown so exhausted that keeping the bond locked tight was no longer an option. "She's fine, Cassian. She's a great mom," Rhys said softly. "I wouldn't have pulled you away if she couldn't handle it."
Azriel made a face, having stayed the past week with you and Cassian at the house to be an extra hand. "She's an amazing mother, Rhys, but Sulwyn is a daddy's girl," Azriel leaned against the wall in the cabin. "This is probably overwhelming for all three of them. It's only be 4 weeks."
Cassia was about to respond, thanking Azriel for understanding, but you sent him one last wave before you realized the bond was open. It was that last emotion that hit him that had him standing without warning and taking off. 
That he had never felt from you before. That feeling of completely worthlessness, of self doubt, of complete self loathing. 
He pushed himself, straining each sore muscle before landing hard on your shared balcony in record time. 
And the sight inside broke his heart. 
Your daughter crying on your chest, and you with her, telling her you didn't know what else to try, what was wrong.
“Give her to me,” he said softly. “Give me our daughter. Go bathe. Do something for you.” You shook your head, holding her tighter. “y/n, give me our baby. You need a break, sweetheart. I can feel it. I can feel you falling apart. I can feel the pit forming. Let me take care of you two.”
“But Rhys-”
“Can fuck all the way off. My wife isn't okay. You need to give me Sulwyn and take a break.” You moved slowly, handing Cassian the tiny Illyrian female who instantly calmed in his arms. His face softened immediately, heart warming. “I missed you too, baby.” 
He felt the moment that shattered you too. Another heavy emotion hitting the bond. 
You sat curled up in the tub for what felt like hours. It was long enough Cassian had put Sul down and now sat next to you.
“Tell what’s going through your head,” he pushed wet hair behind your pointed ear. “Talk to me, sweetness.”
“I feel worthless. Like I've lost my sense of who I am and all value I held to the court.” You paused, wiping a few stray tears. “I feel like a burden to you, her, and now our family.”
That one struck Cassian straight in his heart. “You could never be a burden.”
“I can't even calm our daughter to sleep,” you broke again, voice shaking as you began to sob. “All I am her is her personal food slave. No one said it would be this hard.”
“I know, y/n.” Cassian sighed deeply. “We need to get you out of the House,” Cassian tilted your head to him, kissing your forehead lightly. “Madja warned us about this, remember? She warned us that you potentially would start to feel really down. Everything you are feeling is normal, even if it's so far from true.”
Cassian kissed your lips gently. “I need you to listen to me and hear me right now, okay? You are not a burden. You are not worthless. You are not her personal feeding dummy. You are her mother. Her  best friend. Her safe place.” Cassian paused, wiping your tears. “You are my wife. My mate. You are the strongest female I know. You birthed an Illyrian with the wrong anatomy and somehow survived. You're caring for a newborn the size of your torso, and you do it with a smile and without voicing these feelings. She and I would be lost without you.”
He paused again, a small squeak being heard from the bedroom before silence fell back over. “You are her favorite person. She lights up at just the sound of your voice. I have to cuddle her under your blanket. Yes, she was upset and missed me, and Gods I missed her, but you are her world. And you both are mine, and it is killing me to see you like this.”
Another small squeak came. “She's hungry,” you whispered. 
“Would a shitty mom know that just from the noise she's making?” You shook your head, allowing him to help you stand And wrap you in a warm towel. “I'll hold you two while she eats, so you can fall asleep if you want?” 
It was such a little gesture. One of his small smiles gracing his face as he carried you back into your shared room. 
Cassian dressed you gently kissing your fingers, your palms, your cheekbones. He laid in the bed with you two motioning for you to come between his legs and holding Sulwyn to you. 
“Tomorrow mama is going to leave for awhile, Sul. You, daddy, and Auntie Nesta will hang out while Uncle Az takes mom to the Cafe they like to go to so they can discuss the latest in gross spy shit-” Cassian froze behind you. “Stuff.”
He smiled looking down and realizing you had fallen asleep in his arms. “You, little baby,” he looked at Sulwyn, “Are beyond loved. We need to make sure mama feels that way too, okay? Daddy is going to tell Uncle Rhys to shove it tomorrow. Then we're going to work on spoiling mommy.”
Your daughter gave Cassian a small smile, looking up at him with bright doe eyes as she continued eating. “That's my girl.”
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imaginespazzi · 3 months ago
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Part 6: To Trying Again
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Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11
I don't wanna mess this thing up (I don't wanna push too far)
(In which an "evil" writer might surprise you guys just a little bit with this part)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Fluff and Angst
Words: 5.6K
TW: Swearing (I think that's it?)
A/N: Happy Monday lovelies! This is sort of a filler-ish short chapter though I do think it's important to both plot and character development. I'd like to preface this by saying I've never been to Minsk or Park Pieramohi so I'm very much going off of pictures. Editing and I remain on very, very bad terms so pretty please let me know of typos so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3
July 2018 
“You’re being too loud,” Azzi whisper-screams at the blonde girl in front of her as she closes the door to her room behind her with a little too much force. 
Paige turns her head back every-so-slightly with a pronounced eye roll, “will you please relax.”
“I would if you’d just be a little more careful,” Azzi glares, taking cautious steps as if the sound of her sneakers across the carpeted floor could potentially wake up any of the coaches. 
“Azzi,” Paige says exasperatedly, “the coaches are all the way on the other end of the hallway. Besides, they're probably all sleeping.”
And despite her stubbornness, Azzi can concede that Paige has a point there. It’s nearly midnight and the game against Spain earlier in the day might have had a final score that made it seem like the USA U17 women's basketball team had won handily, but the game itself had been draining to say the least. The post-victory dinner had featured a bunch of worn out teenagers gobbling their food without much conversation and a cohort of coaches who seemed like they needed an hour of drinking followed by good night’s sleep. But even the exhaustion of the day hadn’t been enough to prevent Paige Bueckers and her diabolical mind from coming up with the idea to sneak out into the city of Minsk. 
“No,” Azzi had said immediately even before the words had been spoken, that shimmering glint in Paige’s eyes a dead giveaway as she sidled up to Azzi at the salad bar. 
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” Paige had pouted. 
“You never say anything good.”
“That’s crazy. You’re so mean to me.”
“So mean,” Azzi had nodded in agreement, “so how about you go and bother someone else.”
“Azzi please. We haven’t had just Paige and Azzi time in ages. Don’t want someone else. Just want you.”
And after that well, there wasn’t really any chance of saying no. Azzi’s only fifteen and she doesn’t know that much about love, but sometimes when Paige looks at her with those earnest blue eyes and a smile that promises i’ll always be here, she thinks the way her heart starts to flutter erratically to a beat of and i wouldn’t want anyone else to stay, might just be the start of her finding out. 
“See,” Paige grins triumphantly as the two girls find their way out of their hotel and onto the street, “told you we wouldn’t get caught. Shit’s just too damn easy.”
Azzi rolls her eyes at the attitude, “don’t tempt fate.”
“Fate’s got nothing in front of Paige Bueckers. I make my own fate,” Paige winks as she links her arms through Azzi. 
It’s a mundane amount of contact, absolutely nothing special to it, but Azzi feels herself shiver in spite of the humidity that’s circling around them. She doesn’t quite know how it happened. One moment she was staring across the court, judging the skinny blonde practicing free throws and coming to the conclusion that she’d be no threat; the next moment said girl was next to her on the plane back from Argentina and Azzi, a self-admitted introvert, found herself rattling off about everything and nothing with this girl who seemed to have discovered the keys to all of Azzi’s locks. Hours of talking had bled into days and days had bled into months and despite the fact that facetime had taken the place of in-person conversations, the word friendship had seemed too cavalier a word to describe the relationship Paige and Azzi were building. 
Paige had whittled away all of Azzi’s carefully constructed armor until she was buried deep underneath her skin and Azzi’s sure there’s no knife in the world sharp enough to carve the blonde out from where she lives underneath Azzi’s ribcage. Azzi doesn’t want anyone to try and dig her out. She  thinks she might bleed out if they do. 
“Az,” Paige whines, waving her free hand in the younger girl’s face, “are you even paying attention to me?”
“That depends,” Azzi hums, “are you saying anything interesting?”
“I’m always saying something interesting.”
“You’re always saying something. The interesting is subjective,” Azzi teases, laughing when Paige pouts. 
“I sneak you out to give you an adventure and this is how you repay me? With insults?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her heart.
“Walking boring streets is not an adventure. Virginia has streets too.”
“It’s not about the streets, it’s about where the streets lead to,” Paige says with grave seriousness. 
Azzi raises an eyebrow, “are you entering your philosopher Paige era?”
“I’d make a good philosopher,” Paige waggles her own eyebrows as they two girls find themselves entering park Pieramohi. 
“Virginia has parks too, you know Paige?” Azzi says skeptically. 
Paige lets out a dramatic sigh, “will you just keep walking, woman. Sometimes I wonder if you even like me?”
It’s said like a joke but there’s a hint of insecurity beaded into it that buzzes in Azzi’s ears as she wraps a careful hand around Paige’s wrist, stopping the two of them where they are. 
“Hey,” she whispers softly, nudging the older girl, “you don’t ever have to wonder with me. I’m always gonna like you Paige. Even if you’re a pain in my ass half the time.”
“Had to ruin it with the last part, didn't you?” Paige complains but her eyes twinkle at the reassurance, “Just so you know I’m gonna be a pain in your ass forever.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Azzi promises as they continue strolling through the park. 
The silence is peaceful and the breeze that flows around them is like a comforting hug. And Azzi thinks that she’d be okay if there wasn’t a destination for them to get to, as long as the journey came with Paige by her side. 
“We’re almost there,” Paige says slowly, a slightly nervous edge to her voice. 
“You sure you’re not just getting us lost-” the teasing quip dies on Azzi’s tongue as she stares at the scenery in front of her. They’re standing on the edge of a bridge overlooking a lake and it looks like something out of a disney fairytale; the picturesque image of green trees silhouetted against a magically starry night is captured perfectly on the still surface of the water that’s flowing beneath. As Azzi peers across the railing, Paige right next to her, she feels her breath hitch at the reflection that peers up at her. Because the view in front of them is beautiful but Paige’s eyes are on Azzi and she’s staring at her as if the view is nothing in comparison. 
“C’mon,” the blonde says softly, lacing her fingers through Azzi’s as she tugs her along, “I have a plan.”
“There’s more?” Azzi asks in awe as Paige guides her to the gazebo in the middle of the bridge. 
“Just a little bit,” Paige says and oh- that shy smile is different. Azzi doesn’t think she’s seen that one yet and she makes a mental note to herself, to memorize it and store it along with all of Paige’s other smiles that make Azzi’s insides swoop like a rollercoaster. 
She watches intently as Paige begins to peruse through the purple rucksack she’d been carrying. The first thing out of it is a picnic blanket and then a horde of different snacks, all of Azzi’s favorites. Two plastic champagne glasses are next and then a sheepish grin as Paige pulls out a bottle of soda. 
“Couldn’t quite risk trying to get alcohol,” Paige scratches at her neck. 
“Next time maybe,” Azzi shrugs as she helps Paige set up the arrangement and she feels herself fluttering at the thought of doing this again and again and again. 
“How’d you even find this place?” she asks as Paige begins to pour out the soda. 
“You ever heard of googling?”
Azzi rolls her eyes at Paige’s teasing smirk, “how’d you even have time to do this?”
Paige is quiet for a second as she passes Azzi her glass, “wanted to do something special for us,” she says quietly, keeping her eyes intently on what she’s doing as she pours out a drink for herself, “wasn’t hard to find time for you.”
“You could be a poet, Paige Bueckers,” Azzi whispers and she knows it’s unfair of her but she thinks it anyway. As long as all your poems are about me. 
“The poets are lucky I chose a ball instead of a pen. They’d be out of a job otherwise,” Paige says, trying to ease back into the more familiar arrogance. 
“Always so humble,” Azzi says, rolling her eyes as she holds up her glass, “alright what are toasting to?”
“I came up with this whole thing. You can come up with a toast,” Paige scrunches her nose and Azzi shakes her head at it. 
She thinks for a second before smiling brightly at the girl in front of her, “let’s just keep it simple and toast to us.”
“How original,” Paige teases but she clinks her glass against Azzi’s anyways, “here’s to us.”
“Here’s to us,” Azzi repeats as they both take sips of soda. 
They melt into a comfortable silence, relishing in this rare moment where there isn’t a screen separating them from each other. Facetimes is a wonderful creation but a blurry screen, Azzi decides, doesn’t nearly do justice to just how damn pretty Paige is. Her hair is golden as it basks in the glow of the moon and Azzi wonders if the stars are jealous of how brilliantly the blonde’s blue eyes twinkle.
It’s Paige who speaks first, her voice hesitant, “you uh- you never asked me how my date went a couple of weeks ago.”
Azzi feels her whole body go rigid. She’d almost forgotten about Paige’s wretched date. The blonde had told her about it a couple of days before the actual event and Azzi had played the dutiful role of a best friend, teasing Paige with a light-heartedness she didn’t feel and congratulating her with an excitement that came from anywhere but from the heart. She’d purposely avoided Paige’s calls the day of the date and then two days after, coming up with some sorry excuse she no longer remembers. On the third day, when the hollow ache of i miss her voice in her chest had become too hard to ignore, Azzi had finally picked up the phone and diverted the conversation straight to a different topic. She hadn’t thought of the date since. 
“Guess it slipped my mind,” she says airily, fingers gripping the edge of the picnic blanket. 
“I could tell you about it now,” Paige says slowly. 
I’d rather you didn’t, Azzi thinks but that’s a thought that veers a little too out of the sphere of best-friend-isms and so she simply nods her head, “y-yeah tell me about it. How was it?”
“It was nice,” Paige begins and there’s something hidden in her tone that Azzi can't quite place but she’s a little too busy sulking at the idea of Paige with anybody else to try and decipher it, “dinner was good. Took her to a movie after. That was good too.”
“That’s cool P. I’m glad- I’m glad you had fun,” Azzi says nonchalantly, gripping the glass in her hands just a little too tight. 
“I didn’t.”
“What?”
“I didn’t really have that much fun,” Paige clarifies and Azzi gawks at her in confusion as the older girl fidgets with the frayed edges of the picnic blankets, “just didn’t- didn’t feel right. Don’t think she had much fun either. She never texted me after.”
“What a bitch,” Azzi bites out, suddenly irrationally angry at a girl she’d never met because how could anyone possibly not have fun with Paige, “I’m sorry P. You deserve-”
“I didn’t care that she didn’t text back-”
“Still. It’s just the decent thing to do,” Azzi rants. 
“Maybe,” Paige shrugs, “but I didn’t have time to care about that. I had other things on my mind. Like the fact that you weren’t talking to me.”
Azzi flinches at the accusation, rushing out her previous defense, “I was busy.”
“Bullshit,” Paige sneers. 
“Paige-”
“But I get it,” the older girl says softly as she reaches for Azzi’s hand, tugging the brunette closer to her and Azzi feels something inside her erupt at how close their faces are, “I probably wouldn’t have talked to you for two days either if you went on a date with someone else.”
“Oh,” Azzi breathes out and there’s probably something more eloquent she should say but there’s this realization of maybe you feel it too that’s beginning to creep up her spine, rendering her speechless as Paige continues to stare at her like she’s mapping out all the tiniest details of Azzi’s face. 
“The whole date, I kept thinking how you wouldn’t order what she ordered off the menu or that you would probably hit my hand if I tried to steal something off your plate but then give it to me anyway. And that the movie would never have been so quiet with you and we’d probably get yelled at for giggling too much and I-” Paige pauses, dragging in a deep breath, “I definitely would’ve kissed you at the end.”
A sigh of relief escapes Azzi’s lips, “you didn’t kiss her.”
“No,” Paige confirms as she drops her forehead against Azzi’s, “but I-,” the blonde gulps nervously and Azzi can’t help the way her hand reaches up to caress the blush forming on Paige’s cheeks. 
“Ask me,” she whispers.
“I really want to kiss you,” Paige confesses, voice shaking slightly, “can I kiss you?”
Azzi doesn’t say anything, choosing to reply instead by pressing her lips softly against Paige’s. They move slowly at first, testing each other’s boundaries and savoring their first taste of each other. Azzi pulls the older girl onto her lap, hands firmly on Paige’s hips as the other girl clasps her own hands around Azzi’s neck.  It’s a little messy and uncoordinated and Azzi thinks they might need to practice a little more to really get it right but still, it’s everything.
And Azzi just knows
She knows it then just the way she knew Tim was meant to be her dad. The way she knew Jon and José were meant to be her brothers. The way she knew she was meant to play basketball. Azzi knows that she’s meant to fall hopelessly in love with Paige Bueckers. 
March 2033
There are three things Azzi should do. 
Push Paige away 
Tell her this a bad idea 
Run the fuck away
She does none of the above.
Instead Azzi kisses Paige back. 
And it’s still everything. Like the sun and moon are colliding and creating something so insanely powerful; something that feels so eternal. 
There’s nothing soft or slow about it as Paige presses every inch of herself into Azzi until she can feel Paige’s heartbeat as strongly as she can feel her own. It might be impossible but she swears their hearts are talking to each other, tapping out rhythms against each other’s chests that confess all the things their owners are too scared to say. And Azzi wants nothing more than to lose herself completely in the moment because Paige’s lips feel like a drug and Azzi thinks she might just be an addict in relapse. 
Except to relapse, you need to have recovered. And Azzi doesn’t think she ever fully recovered from Paige. 
It isn’t until she feels her back hit the edge of a desk and the sound of something crashing onto the floor infiltrates her ears, that Azzi finally comes to her senses. She tears her lips away from Paige as the older woman groans in protest, arms tightening their hold on Azzi’s waist so she can still have some semblance of control over the situation. And really Azzi knows she’s strong enough to escape Paige’s grip, could easily fight it if she wanted to. But well, she doesn’t want to. And Azzi’s tired of doing things she doesn’t want to do. 
“Paige-”
“If the next words out of your mouth are ‘we can’t do this’, Azzi I swear to god I’m going to kill you,” Paige threatens, pressing her forehead against Azzi’s. 
Azzi laughs softly and she can feel Paige’s whole body relax at the sound of it and like clockwork, she feels the tension beginning to release from her own muscles, “if you kill me then we definitely can’t do this.”
“I’ll revive you after or something,” Paige says with a half-smirk. 
“Or something,” Azzi rolls her eyes, “but we can’t-”
“Azzi,” Paige groans. 
“We can’t do this right now and definitely not here,” Azzi amends, alluding to the fact that they’re still in Steph’s office. 
Paige raises an eyebrow, cocking her head slightly, “but we can do this later? Somewhere else?”
The question lingers between them as Azzi bites her lip. She knows what this is, knows that it’s Paige putting the ball in her court. A ‘no’ would likely be the end of things and that scares her more than she’s willing to admit but she’s not quite ready to commit to a ‘yes’ yet, even if that flame of desire inside of her, the one that can only be lit by Paige, is blazing hot through her veins. 
“I don’t know,” Azzi says carefully, shivering at the way Paige’s thumb is rubbing circles against her waist, the flimsy material of her shirt doing nothing to prevent the goosebumps forming on her skin, “TBD.”
“That’s not a no,” Paige says carefully, hope blossoming freely on her face. 
“That’s not a yes either,” Azzi warns half-heartedly. 
“But it’s not a no,” Paige presses. 
“No,” Azzi admits, playing with the neckline of Paige’s shirt, “it’s not a no.”
And Azzi’s so scared of the future, scared that if she lets herself burn, she’ll incinerate everyone around her but there’s something in the way Paige smiles at her words. Something that feels a lot like a promise of i’ll be the rain that washes out the fire before you can turn us to ashes. 
“I can work with that,” Paige says softly, tilting Azzi’s chin up. 
“So desperate to get back into my pants Bueckers,” Azzi teases and she expects a witty remark in return but instead she’s met with nothing but sincerity. 
“So desperate to get back into your life,” Paige whispers, voice cracking on the last two words. 
Tears prickle against Azzi’s waterline as she stares in awe at the girl in front of her. Sometimes she thinks Paige doesn’t even know that there’s a halo of goodness sitting above her head, doesn't even know just how beautiful her soul is. Paige is stunning on the outside; it’s something no one can deny. But it’s nothing compared to how gorgeous she is on the inside, nothing compared to how kind, how humble, how forgiving Paige is. 
“Why?” Azzi asks, her tone rife with heaviness. 
“Why what?” 
“After everything, after all this time, why would you still want to be in my life?” the tears fall harder as Azzi struggles to breathe, “I- I broke your heart. I broke us. How could you possibly want that again. How could you possibly want me again?”
Paige's eyes soften as she cups Azzi’s cheeks, thumbs brushing away at the drops of water running down them, “because you’re Azzi. My Azzi. And I get it- I get that you’re not ready to be all in on this with me yet and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not completely ready either. But we can work on it right? Take it slow and see where it goes and maybe we’ll- maybe we’ll be even better this time.”
“You think so?”
“I believe so.”
Azzi presses her lips delicately against Paige’s, reveling in the way it makes Paige’s breath hitch. She pulls away faster than she would like herself and Paige chases her lips, eyes still closed. 
“What was that for,” the blonde asks, slightly dazed. 
“For being my Paige.”
***
Azzi taps her foot impatiently against her wooden patio as she glances at her phone clock for the umpteenth time. Paige is almost twenty minutes late to pick her and Stephie up to go to dinner at her parent’s house. The invites had technically been separate but Paige had insisted that they needed to go together because Paige didn’t want to walk into the house alone. Azzi’s not sure why Paige is nervous to see her dad and brothers again, not when she’s pretty sure they’re bursting with excitement to see the blonde whose pictures still have a permanent place on the family photo wall, but if Paige wants Azzi by her side, well she’s not going to say no. Not anymore. 
 It’s been a week since they’d agreed to take things slow and Azzi’s still not quite sure what exactly that means, but she thinks she likes it. She likes being able to call Paige and not having to come up with a lame excuse for why. She likes that she and Paige can take Stephie out for ice cream after Curry Camp and they don’t have to pretend they’re only tolerating each other’s presence for the little girl’s sake. She likes that they can brush their pinkies while walking and instead of jolting away, they simply just link them together. There’s boundaries of course. No sleepovers at either of their houses. No doing anything more than kissing. No kissing in front of anyone else and definitely no kissing in front of Stephie. No doing anything in front of Stephie really. And there’s still so much mountain left to climb but as long as they’re pushing up it together, Azzi doesn’t think there’s any incline steep enough to stop her from continuing up this path.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals as Paige’s car rounds the corner into Azzi’s driveway. 
Paige steps out of the car, arms wide open and ready to catch Stephie as the little girl goes tumbling down the front porch, aiming straight for the blonde. Azzi’s not an artist by any means but if she was, she thinks she could paint a thousand pictures of Stephie and her Miss Buecks. It terrifies Azzi a little bit, just how perfectly Stephie fits into Paige’s side but it calms her too because there’s a part of her that’s in love with how much they love each other.
“You’re late Bueckers,” Azzi chides as she follows her daughter’s path down the patio stairs. 
Paige grins, shifting Stephie on her lap as she opens the side door to her car to pull out two bouquets of flowers
“Will these make up for it?” she asks slyly as she hands the larger one, an assortment of pink flowers, to Azzi and a slightly smaller bouquet of purple hydrangeas to Stephie. 
“These are so pretty Miss Buecks,” Stephie gushes before pressing a kiss to Paige’s cheek left cheek and Paige beams at the compliment, “thank you Miss Buecks.”
“You took that long to get flowers?” Azzi asks with a raised eyebrow. 
“Mama,” Stephie chides immediately, “you’re supposed to thank someone when they give you a gift.”
“Yeah Azzi,” Paige’s eyes glimmer with mirth, “thank me like Stephie thanked me. Don’t you think Mama owes me a kiss on the cheek Steph?”
Azzi narrows her eyes at the scheming pair in front of her as Stephie nods animatedly at Paige’s question, “yeah Mama you owe Miss Buecks a kiss on the cheek.”
Shaking her head, Azzi walks over to Paige taking deliberately steady steps. Slowly Azzi leans in, puckering her lips. Paige closes her eyes and Azzi winks at Stephie who’s eyes widen. 
“I’m waiting,” Paige sing-songs, a self-satisfied smirk taking over her features. 
And instead of the promised kiss, Azzi licks a sloppy strip down Paige’s cheek and the blonde shrieks as both Azzi and Stephie burst into laughter.
“EW AZZI GROSS,” Paige whines, hurriedly rubbing her shirt against her cheek, “is this what you’re teaching your daughter?”
“I’m teaching my daughter not to let anyone manipulate her,” Azzi says, giving Paige a careful look, “now why were you late?”
Paige grins sheepishly as she opens the door to the backseat of the door. A lavender car seat is placed on the left side of the car and Azzi feels her heart lurch with no one’s ever cared like this. 
“It’s pu-ple,” Stephie claps excitedly, “is it for me?”
“Of course it is,” Paige confirms, booping Stephie’s nose before looking at Azzi, “it’s just- we uh- we always have to take your car cause it has the car seat and moving it between cars is such a hassle. So I just thought- you know- I just thought it’d be cool- useful- practical- if I had one too? And this way if you ever need me to take Stephie off you then I uh- then you don’t have to worry about me driving. I don’t- I don’t really knows much about car seats but I looked it up online before and the person at the store agreed that this is definitely the best one- like I swear it’s safe-”
She’s cut off by the feel of Azzi’s lips pressed to her cheeks. 
“Thank you Paige.”
***
Just as Azzi expected, Paige merges herself back into the Fudd family with the same ease she’d first had when she’d carved out a place for herself almost a decade and a half ago. It’s a little emotional at first when Tim opens the door, a smile almost as big as him decorating his face as he pulls Paige into a hug even before she can say a word. 
“Welcome home kid,” he whispers into her blonde hair and Azzi doesn’t have to see Paige’s face to know that her best friend is blinking away tears. 
Guilt surges in Azzi’s stomach and she tries to swallow away the lump of i took this from her that’s blocking her throat. It had been so simple at 15 to give Paige a part of her world; Azzi hadn’t thought twice about it. And then with the snap of her fingers, she’d taken that world away. She knows her parents had never cut Paige out; hell they’d been at her wedding to some other woman -and Azzi had pushed them to go knowing Paige would need it- but it was a far cry from what they’d been. A far cry from when Paige’s schedule was a key factor while planning Fudd family summers. 
“Hey,” Stephie pouts, tiny hands crossed over her small body “I thought you always gave me the first hug Pops.”
“We’ll make an exception today,” Tim says with a wink before letting Paige walk into Katie’s arms and spinning his granddaughter around, “but you’re always gonna be my favorite.”
“I better be,” Stephie threatens and the adults around her laugh. 
And finally it’s Azzi's turn to be pulled into one of her dad’s patent bear hugs. She goes willingly, always at her most warmest in the arms of the man whose blood might not run through her veins, but whose love had always protected her from the cruelties of the world. 
“You look really happy today sweetheart,” Tim says softly. 
Azzi’s eyes flitter over her father’s shoulder to where Jon and José are embroiling Paige in a group hug with Stephie in the middle of it, screaming about finally having their “white sister” back, as Katie and José’s fiancé Tallulah roll their eyes at the group of them, and she can’t help but smile into her dad’s shirt, “I feel pretty happy today.”
*** 
“You cheated,” Jon yells. 
“Miss Buecks does not cheat,” Stephie yells back loyally. 
“Don’t get into this Stephie. You don’t know her like we do,” José glares at Paige who narrows her eyes at him, “she’s been stealing from the bank.”
“Miss Buecks does not  steal,” Stephie defends again, wrapping her arms around Paige’s neck from behind as the blonde presses a quick kiss against Stephie’s temple. 
“It’s okay Stephie,” Paige reassures, gently swinging the little girl into her lap, “some people are just sore losers.”
“Can’t be a sore loser because I didn’t lose-” José coughs and Jon corrects himself immediately, “because we didn’t lose.”
“Y’all let it go,” Tallulah groans, leaning her head back against the sofa, “it’s literally just monopoly. Please, I'm so tired.”
“Just monopoly? JUST MONOPOLY?” José guffaws dramatically, “I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who doesn’t understand that it isn’t just monopoly Tallulah. It’s about liars and cheats and honor-”
“Miss Buecks has plenty of honor,” Stephie says stubbornly, leaning her head back against Paige’s chest.
Jon rounds on Azzi, who’s been silently watching the situation, “did you help her cheat?”
“Excuse me?” Azzi asks, glaring at her brother from where she’s been comfortable reclining on the sofa. She’d opted to be the banker instead of playing, content just handing out money to the rest of them while watching the game unfold. But really she hadn’t been paying much attention to anyone else but her daughter and Paige. Stephie didn’t quite understand the rules yet and so she was always on someone’s team. It had been a given tonight, that of course she would be with Paige. And Azzi had watched, trying not to be too obvious, with a foolish grin on her face, as her two favorite people whispered to each other, Paige listening intently to all of Stephie’s ideas whether they were good or bad. 
“Oh good point,” José turns to look at Azzi too, “you’re the banker, did you help Paige cheat?”
“Mama would never cheat,” Stephie argues defiantly as Azzi pushes herself up from the sofa to send a menacing look to both of her brothers. 
“I’m not going to dignify that accusation with a justification,” Azzi says, standing so she’s towering over her two brothers who are still sitting on the floor, “now clean up the game. It’s almost Stephie’s bedtime.”
 They might be well into their twenties and José might be taller than her now, but they’re still not quite  immune to Azzi’s wrath. Tallulah and Paige snicker as the two men, sulking at each other, obey their older sister's command without another word. 
“You’ve gotta teach me how you do that,” Tallulah says, hi-fiving Azzi who smirks in response. 
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, “what does dig-ni-fy mean?”
“Mean she’s not gonna entertain your uncles being dumba-”
“Paige!”
“Being dumbapples,” Paige corrects and both Azzi and Stephie give her an odd look at her ridiculous attempt at saving the bad word from leaving her lips. 
“Alright Stephie-bean,” Azzi says, pulling her daughter off of Paige’s lap, “it’s late enough. Off to brush your teeth you go.”
Stephie looks hesitantly between the staircase leading up to the guest bedroom -where she and Azzi normally stayed- and Paige. 
“Can Miss Buecks stay with us tonight?” she asks softly, one hand bunching in Paige’s shirt as she stares up at her mother with large doe eyes, “please Mama.”
“Stephie I don’t think-” Paige begins, ready to stick to the boundaries they’d laid out for themselves and really Azzi should let her; should follow her lead really.  
Except the words are tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop them, “yeah she can- she can stay.”
“YAYY,” Stephie squeals, jumping into Azzi’s arms as Paige stares up at her in surprise, “thank you, thank you, thank you Mama. I’m so happy,” she swings from Azzi to Tallulah, “aunty Tully did you hear? Miss Buecks is gonna stay with us and you can make her your famous pancakes in the morning.”
“I can, can I?” Tallulah asks with a raised eyebrow as she lets Stephie and her excited chatter lead her towards the bathroom. With Jon and José both having already started towards their own rooms and Azzi’s parents fast asleep, it leaves just Paige and Azzi in the living room. 
“You’re okay with me staying?” Paige asks softly, finally lifting herself from the floor and onto her feet. 
Azzi scratches the back of her neck, “if- if you want to. You don’t have to. I can- I’ll explain to Stephie-”
“I want to,” Paige says, taking a cautious step towards Azzi, “but the rules?”
“This doesn’t count,” Azzi justifies and Paige smirks, taking another step towards the brunette. 
“It doesn’t?”
“We said no sleeping over at each other’s places. This is my parent’s house. So technically it doesn’t count,” Azzi shrugs, trying to keep her face from breaking into a grin as Paige moves one more step closer. 
“And where exactly am I sleeping?” Paige asks with a knowing grin as she loops an arm around Azzi’s waist, briefly checking to make sure no one’s around. 
Azzi tilts her head, letting the grin break through, “I think Stephie would like it if you slept with us.”
“Ah well if that’s what Stephie would like,” Paige says, nodding commiseratingly. 
“For Stephie’s sake,” Azzi repeats as she wraps her arm around Paige’s neck, pressing her forehead against the older girl’s and letting herself just breathe in the peace that comes with being all consumed by Paige. 
“Azzi,” Paige’s voice is laced with uncharacteristic vulnerability as she speaks again, “you won’t- you won’t run away again tomorrow morning will you?”
“No,” Azzi promises, gently brushing her lips against Paige’s, “I won’t run away again.”
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ladykibutsuji · 1 year ago
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Human! Muzan Kibutsuji Headcanons
SFW | NSFW
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• Premise: You are the beloved wife of Muzan Kibutsuji, although it was a arranged marriage your love for Muzan Kibutsuji was real. so what is it exactly like being his wife?
{SFW}
- Muzan always hated the fact that he have a sickness that is almost impossible to cure so he is always mad about it leading to him having such a nasty personality.
- He mostly takes his anger out on his own Servants and his doctor to whom he refer to as 'Fraudulent Doctor'
- In the beginning, Muzan despised you and didn't want to be near you.
- "Why the fuck do I even need a wife? She's as useless as the servants!"
- You dislike his nasty personality but you also understood that he's only mad about his illness that he takes his anger out on others.
- Despite Muzan's cruel words and actions, you have continued to look after him no matter how hard he tries to push you away.
- But as time goes on, Muzan started to appreciate the love and care that he is receiving from you
- And eventually he developed feelings for you
- He'd still be tough on you, but not so tough.
- Sometimes when he notices how tired you are, he wouldn't say cruel words towards you like what he usually does but instead he would be quiet
- In the end, you would notice that he's too quiet so you started asking him questions if he's okay
- He would get mad at you for asking such a question
- "Do I look okay? I have a fucking illness you dumb woman! just shut the fuck up and rest for the day"
- His sentence got you confused, You don't even know whether he's being cruel or nice
- When it comes to drinking medicine, he would make a huge fuss over it saying that it wouldn't even work but when it's you he would just drink it quietly he would still roll his eyes at you though or let out a 'tch' sound
- He only wants YOU to take care of him and refuses to let anyone else to take the spot
- the only time he lets anyone else do it is when you are sick
- since his body is weak he couldn't really take you out on fancy dates
- but sometimes when he feels like having a date with you he would make his servants cook and prepare a romantic table just for the two of you at home
- Muzan's favorite thing to do is to cuddle with you, he won't admit it but he really enjoys your company and touch
- although he wouldn't really ask directly, he would stare deeply into your eyes in silent with a >:| face
- "Do you need anything?"
- "You already know what I want"
- Aside Muzan's nasty personality, he also have a soft personality that only YOU have access to
- When muzan can't sleep at late night, you and him would have a conversation about life and would often be joking around with each other
- "Would you find someone else if I died?"
- "Don't say stuffs like that, You will survive you just have to believe in yourself"
- "Don't be so dramatic Y/N. it's just a what if, I want to hear your honest answer."
- "No, I don't want to... I'd rather stay at your grave for hours!"
- "Just hours?"
- "No, I'll live in your grave"
- "Good"
- That conversation right there is one of the rare moments you have with him since 99% of the time he's an asshole to you and his servants mostly his doctor
- "Y/N, When my illness is gone. I promise to give you the best life you deserve."
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{NSFW}
- DICK: 4 soft, 6'5 erected (Length), 6 in girth, curved upward, Veiny, hairy and tip color is ff9999
- He whimpers
- He's more submissive than dominant due to his body being weak
- You are the one who initiates
- His favorite part of sex is his dick getting sucked on by you
- He likes shoving his cock all the way down your throat
- And he thinks that you are really pretty with his cock on your mouth
- "f-fuck y/n. . . You're sucking it so good~"
- Since he has low stamina you are usually the one on top and the sex position you often do is Cowgirl and Reverse cowgirl
- While doing cowgirl his hands would be on your boobs playing with your nipples or sometimes they are just placed at your thighs giving them a squeeze
- If it's reverse cowgirl his hands would be on your hips and just like cow girl they would also be on your thighs
- You would bounce on his cock while he whimpers and begs you for more
- "ah~....ha~ ...pl-please more"
- Seeing muzan beg for more was amusing so you would tease him about it
- "Please what? Use your words my love~"
- He would get annoyed and grunt but greed took over him wanting more and more, he couldn't get enough of you so he would give in to your tease
- "Please Y/N...Please give me more of you"
- "Good boy~"
- And this is where you would bounce faster
- Muzan doesn't really use nicknames in sex because he's not really that sort of a romantic guy so he mostly just calls you by your own name
- And Muzan doesn't want any nicknames from you
- However you threatened that you would stop moving when he doesn't accept the nickname "Good boy" so he had no other choice but to accept the nickname you gave him
- When cumming he prefers to shoot it inside of you, into your mouth or all over your face.
- "Fuck... I'm close"
- If it's inside of you: he would tightly grip on your hips or thighs
- If it's into your mouth: He would ask you to stop bouncing and to suck his dick, after doing so he would have a tight grip on your hair forcing your mouth all the way down while his seed overfilled your mouth
- If it's on your face: He also would ask you to stop bouncing so he could pull out and come in your face, after cumming in your face he would cupped your cheeks admiring the mess he made
- He could only go for 1-2 rounds so if you are left unsatisfied and still wanting more he would just offer you to ride his face
- Poor muzan's dick was so exhausted after just 1 round
- "Seriously woman? Are you fucking trying to drain me?"
- "Please?"
- Muzan's greatest weakness was YOU, he couldn't refuse your request with that cute face of yours
- Too bad his dick was already exhausted so he offers another way to please you
- "Fuck you woman, Just ride my face and after this go kill yourself"
- Aftercare is important in sex but muzan is too weak to move on his own so you have to be the one taking care of him
- After having a warm bath together and putting on some comfy clothes You would bring in some foods for you and Muzan to eat together.
- After eating, Muzan will offer to let you cuddle with him to which you always Accepts and never once have refused.
- "I hate you but I also love you, but I still hate you more"
- "I love you most"
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