#all of this to say. susan and james care about each other So much and will in fact go to the ends of the earth for the other

[storyhaunt]

susan pendragon and james yeung were romantically involved from their late teens to their early twenties. although the romantic aspect of their relationship didn't last — as a result of shared trauma, wherein they both realized that, at the stage of life they were at and with everything they had gone through, they could not healthily pursue that kind of dynamic, with each other or anyone else — the love they felt for each other was and is no less real, and they both helped the other grow as an individual during their time together. they are still extremely close friends and stay in contact / regularly hang out.

[aeligsido]

[WM] Prompt 27 — Fix-It.

Rating: T.

TW: war and its consequences on the survivors.

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin.

Additional Tags: hurt/comfort, it’s 1993 if anyone is asking, not explicitly said but the characters have PTSD, Altair is Remus & Sirius’ son, Daisy is James & Lily’s daughter, lots of characters are actually mentioned but I don’t want to write all their names sorryyyy.

Summary: Tomorrow is September 1st, and Sirius can’t sleep.

Words count: 604.

A/N: At first I was thinking about fixing Sirius’ death but then went ahead and fixed everyone’s death bc why not. Also I was hesitating between right after the end of the war when it's still fresh or way down the line, but it kinda flew that way. I hope you like it! ❤️

@wolfstarmicrofic

—

It’s the third batch of kids they’re sending off to their first year at Hogwarts, and yet it’s still the hardest thing he’s ever done.

Sirius wonders if it’ll ever change, or if each time he’ll still feel like he’s taking his heart out of his chest to let it walk free around the world.

Last year it was Maxime, and the year before that Harry, Neville, and Susan; this year it’s Daisy and Altair, his niece and his son.

“You’re thinking too loud,” mumbles his husband against him, and Sirius relaxes at the sound of his voice.

“Sorry, love.” He drops a kiss in Remus’ hair and listens as his husband hums happily.

The silver lightning here is that Remus will be with the children, at least; it’ll be his sixth year as the DADA teacher already. Alex will be starting his second year as the Divination teacher as well, and their eldest all took the class — probably more to annoy their uncle than anything else, though.

“You’re thinking too loud again.”

Sirius cuddles Remus closer to him — or as closer as he can without smothering him.

“I know, sorry. You know how I get.”

Remus yawns. “It’s about tomorrow?”

Tomorrow, first day of the new year, when he’ll put his niece (mischievous and stubborn and brave) and his son (his firstborn, naive and smart and kind) into the Hogwarts Express and watch them leave.

It should be easier. They’re at peace, and their family is whole, and close, and happy. But the war left its scars, both carved into their body and burned into their mind. It’s in the way they cling to each other and never quite let go, in the wards always up around their houses and kids and themselves, in the panic and anxiety and reflexes they’re still learning to control; it's in James’ need for their locations at all time, in Peter’s still shameful silences, in Lily’s gaze scouring for threats, in Alice’s fingers always hovering above her wand, in Frank’s ever growing backup of newly created wards, in Fabian’s inability to go outside alone, in Mary’s hands shaking when she leaves home, in Marlene’s grip when she squeezes them to life, in Dorcas’ startles at too sudden movements, in Regulus’ ever present night terrors, in Paula’s too-tight hugs, in Alex’s too old eyes.

It’s in Remus' frozen smiles on bad days, and in Sirius’ impossibility to let go.

It’s in all of them, and sometimes he wonders if it’ll ever leave; most days, he hardly notices it anymore, and they call it progress.

“It’ll be okay,” murmurs Remus against his skin. He kisses Sirius almost absentmindedly before nuzzling back against his chest, ready to go to sleep.

And Sirius smiles, taken with so much love and fondness and gratefulness he almost chokes on it.

The war is more than ten years into their past. It can stay here. He has children to send to school and curses to break and family to take care of, and it’s a work he fought to have, to keep.

He’s not letting go, but maybe it’s alright.

“I know,” he murmurs back, even if he can feel Remus already asleep in his arms.

“I know,” he says louder to the moon and the stars and the earth and the sky.

“I know,” he says, lastly, to himself, and this time he believes it.

In the morning, he’ll help Daisy get on the train, and he’ll hug Altair goodbye, and he’ll tell all the kids he loves them, and they all will be here to do so.

But for now, Sirius finally sleeps.

[harryissuchalittleshit]

Hey girl!! I'm new here to ur blog and I'm curious Abt ur ships and headcanons for Harry Potter characters? I love ur Harry and Weasley takes but I want to know all ur ships lmao I was looking to see if u had a pinned post but I don't so I figured I'd ask 💕

Hi! Welcome to my blog and thank you for asking about my ships, I have a lot of them and I'm going to try and link some of my stories from Ao3. I put everything under the read more as it turned out to be a lot longer than anticipated!

Bill/Fleur - I ship them in a sort of toxic downfall(?), they're just the kind of couple that I see rushing in too fast and then not dealing with any of their trauma.

Victoire/SJ - they fell in love while Victoire was visiting her grandparents in Paris, he's a few years older and super sweet and doting on Victoire. They have a great relationship.

Dominique/Lorcan - more of a friends to lovers story, but involve an unplanned teen pregnancy, a family tragedy, and also lots of cousin drama, they somehow make it work.

Louis/Anamika - I really adore them, both of them are so quiet and shy despite being on the younger side of their ridiculously big families. They find a peace and love in one another that I find so refreshing and honest.

Percy/Audrey - one of my top Weasley couples! I just simply adore the pair of them, Percy is so sweet to Audrey, her shoulder to lean on while the world pushes her down. And Audrey is the complete opposite of her quiet and studious man, but that's what makes him love her more.

Molly/Artie - they're not exactly a match made in heaven, but they are a second chance romance. They loved one another at 15/16 and they come back to each other again at 20/21. Sometimes mistakes happen in life and sometimes you wake up after a night of partying married to your ex-boyfriend.

Lucy/Devon - She's a nervous wreck at her best and he loves her despite her self-doubt. They care so deeply for one another and she gets more and more confident with him at her side.

George/Angelina - They're resilient, the couple that can manage anything as long as they're together. A sweet pair of soulmates that saw each other at eleven and never looked back.

Freddie/LeeAnne - Another pair of soulmates that met each other young and who love one another so deeply and completely despite the hardships it causes.

Roxanne/Sean/Sasha - Roxanne has been through everything, she has been through so much pain and Sean helped her get through it. Sasha helped her see the light after so much pain and their love is so true and sweet after everything that has happened.

Ron/Hermione - what can I not say about this couple? I adore Romione and think that they are such an amazing couple that have gone through so much together.

Rose/Scorpius - my first OTP in the next generation, I just love the thought of their family dinners. They're definitely a couple that go through lots of ups and downs, but that never lessens their love for one another.

Hugo/Lyla - I love them so much, Hugo is so wild and Lyla is so anxious, but when they come together they manage to become something so entirely beautiful and happy together.

Harry/Ginny - I do love a couple that find each other over and over and over again. They're a couple that love one another in every moment and I love writing them.

James/Marci - coming soon, Nano2023 project

Al/Maggie - they were toxic young couple at 17 and grow into a beautiful and ridiculously loving couple at 21. They go on to become a staple at Hogwarts as DADA professor and Hospital Wing Matron.

Lily/Ryan - She's a bit of a wild child and he's able to wrangle her in, they have a mutual love of music and dancing, and they find each other in their darkest moments.

Draco/Astoria - we love couples that grow and learn from one another and they do that over and over and over again!

Padma/Theodore - a rarepair but a good pair, they come together despite their differences and they are such good parents to any child that comes through their home

Susan/Dudley - my first real rarepair, I love them so much and the story I’ve created for them means so much to me. They found each other over and over again and they found love even during a rainstorm.

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 3

Summary: Catherine Sinclair is the younger, estranged half-sister of renowned F1 driver James Hunt. Things get a bit complicated when she decides to reenter James’ life and ends up meeting his rival - Niki Lauda. Engines ignite as Catherine finds herself caught between her feelings for Niki and the rivalry that the two men share. Will she pump the brakes or let herself crash in the inferno?

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x fem!OC Catherine Sinclair

Rating: E for eventual smut

Chapter Tags: substance use, period typical sexism, brief slut shaming (although sex-positive irl in this house), hunt being a bro 

WC: ~770

You followed the sound of music and cloud of lingering marijuana smoke to the party. Entering the tent, you stood on your toes to get a better look over the crowd. James stood in the back nursing a beer. “Hey Kitty! Over here!” he waved you over. 

Pushing your way through the bodies you made your way to him. James let go of the probable model on his arm to hug you tight. “This is my little sister!” he announced to those watching. He’d clearly had a few drinks by now.

“Maybe we could talk outside? It’s a bit cramped here.”

“Of course, yeah,” he led you outside.

The cool air felt much better on your skin than the musky air inside the tent. You took a breath and turned to your brother. “Formula 1, eh? How’d Susan take it?” Your step mother was wary of James’ aspirations when you were younger - no doubt this was giving her arrhythmia. 

“Oh mum’s fine. Grins and bears it like always,” he chuckled. “But you! You haven’t called in months, how’s university? How much longer until you finish?”

Grimacing you tell him “I actually finished last year. Sorry I never phoned. I figured you were busy with the drive and all.”

“I’m not too busy for you though Kitty Cat… you know I worry about you.”

“Why? I’m great. Finished uni and they hired me at an art museum working with the Medieval department. I’m the only woman there too,” you state proudly. Even if your social life was lacking you found great satisfaction in your work.

“Because you’re lonely, Catherine.” He was serious when he actually used your real name. 

Sighing, you know you can try to defend yourself but that it won’t go far. You really were pretty lonely. Even so, you argue  “I met up with the secretary from work for lunch this week. And I went on a date last month. Bloke was horrid but at least he paid for dinner.” James gave you a face letting you know he thought you were full of shit. 

Jutting your hip out, you shrug and say “and I made a friend today.”

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“Niki.”

“Niki….Niki Lauda?”

“Who else?”

He bellowed a full out laugh this time, breaking the tension between the two of you for a moment. “Niki doesn’t have friends. That rat is the world’s biggest arsehole!” 

“Oh really? Then why did he invite me to Maranello this week? Is that not what friends do? Hang out?” In your haste to prove your social life to James you didn’t notice the odd face he made.

“Cat, you’re joking? Niki asked you to visit him at Ferrari?”

“Yeah, and? Like it's so hard to believe a guy would want to spend time with me.” You looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice how self-conscious you sounded.

“It’s not you. You’re not… going around with him are you?”

“Hah!” you rolled your eyes at his suggestion, “yes, James, in the half hour I knew the man he managed to take me to dinner, but don’t worry I kept my skirt on-” came your sarcastic quip.

“Ah come on don’t-ugh. He’s my biggest rival!”

“I just said nothing happened,” you laughed at his reaction. “Nothing will, either. I’m not trying to get involved anytime soon, let alone an F1 driver. If they’re all like you then god help us. Where is your flavor of the week, anyway? She get tired of you already?” you bit lightheartedly.

Hunt squinted at you before finally letting the tension from his shoulders fall. “Just… if you go, be careful. He’s a good man, but a right arse. I don’t want to see you get upset because he’s bad company.” 

“I’m a big girl Jamie, I can handle a little German.”

“Austrian.”

“You would know,” you shot back. A beat passed between you.

“I’m really glad you came... I’ve missed you. Will you come again? And actually call this time?”

You reach up to pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. “I will. I’ve missed you so much too.” The two of you stand holding each other for a moment. “Would you look at us, actually doing what we want with our lives? Who woulda thought.”

James lets go first; you push him towards the tent. “Go, have fun with your posse. I’ll see you around.”

“You promise?” he points an accusing finger at you as he backs towards the tent. 

“I promise.”

Tag list: @ay0nha @apparrio

[youngsamberg]

when you get the chance, i would like your in-depth, detailed thoughts on how amy felt during the boyle-linetti wedding seeing jake try and ask jenny out and how she felt going home that night after That moment

i know you sent this like 2 days ago but i wasn’t emotionally ready to go there yet so here goes:

i think amy was really just trying to be a good friend the whole time and wasn’t really thinking about her own feelings. and i think when jake jokingly said “it’s in the past, amy, move on!” she really took that to heart. she’s not one to get overly emotional about things like that so she kinda just steeled herself and tried to ignore her feelings bc it’s not like he’s some random guy she had a crush on, it’s jake, and their friendship is really really important to amy and that was all she cared about. so the whole day amy helps jake try to get with jenny gildenhorn while jake helps amy catch minsk and she uses that to prove to herself that they’re just best friends and that’s all. but then i think even though we didn’t really get to see this, holt’s wedding speech did have an affect on amy and that was a bit of a turning point for her, at least that day. bc they had been through so much that day, supporting each other through what they were each going through, and they still just ended up sitting together at the wedding bc no matter what they’re always pulled back to each other like a magnet. and that’s why she goes up to him at the very end while he’s watching jenny gildenhorn dance with another guy bc that’s what they do, they support each other. and she knows that all jake needs right now is for his spirits to be lifted and even though she Knows that her slow dancing with him would be nice, what he really needs is to laugh and not really think about serious romance; enter gina’s great aunt susan. and those looks at the very end, oh man. those are knowing looks that say “i know you and i love you and now’s not the right time but it will be soon” because they’re best friends and soulmates. and then they went home together bc they drove there together and they hung out together at amy’s apartment maybe watching a james bond movie together and laughing about how jake thinks he’s this suave guy like james bond when he’s actually just a doofus and maybe when the movie is over he asks if he can stay on her couch for the night bc it’s late and he’s tired but it’s also secretly bc he doesn’t really wanna be alone after that day and he just wants to be near amy and she obviously lets him and then the next morning they eat breakfast together just like they’d usually do on a weekend but there’s something a little different about the way they’re looking at each other now, but neither of them notice.

i hope this is what you were looking for now i’m gonna go cry

[nettlestonenell]

Enola Holmes in Review

Gentle Readers:

1.       I did not plan to watch Enola Holmes

2.       I do not/have not watched Stranger Things, and my entire concept of Millie Bobby Brown as a human is encapsulated in the occasional errant tumblr post, and a line of eyewear she apparently has created, posters for which hang at my glasses-provider.

3.       I had never heard of the YA novels about Enola Holmes

There she is!

Yes, I do tend to enjoy nearly any incarnation of Sherlock Holmes. And, yes, I am often surprised by this fact. For some reason, Holmes, unlike, say, Chris Evans as Cap or Chris Hemsworth as Thor [instances where I can’t really imagine enjoying anyone else in the role] I am always interested to see someone else’s [writer and actor and director]’s take on him. *Subtle shout-out to James D’Arcy’s 2002 turn in A Case of Evil.

Mr. Jarvis! [and there was Vincent D’Onofrio and opium!!]

And yet, watching the Enola Holmes trailer [no doubt b/c of tumblr], and yes, admittedly not unmoved [we are not made of stone] by Cavill’s Curls™ the delight I felt in watching that advert led me to start informing my family that on September 23rd what I was going to be doing was enjoying Enola Holmes on Netflix [and anyone else was free to join me].

Someone important is missing from this picture

And what a delight it was. In the run-up to its debut I read more than a few reviews of the film [and, I think, every one of them written by men], some of which struck me as simply coming from a place of mean-spiritedness, yet none—even the positive reviews—preparing me for how ENJOYABLE this film is.

I’m not going to provide a full review point-by-point here, b/c the film involves cases to be solved (no, none of them are overwhelmingly complex—YA novel--, so all the more reason not to spoil any pay-offs). But I do have some things to talk about.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM – And what a nice, nice elephant it is! Henry Cavill as Holmes is, in my opinion an absolute delight of a performance. From the moment he first says Enola’s name (a perfectly-rendered reaction to the moment playing out) this Holmes fits into this Greatest Showman-like version of Victorian England, where no one’s too dirty no matter how poor, and where despite a flaming red dress, cut too low for daytime wear, young Enola is never once mistaken for a working girl. [Again, YA novel] As other reviewers have noted, HC is, well, Cut and Bulked Out, and in his highly tailored frock coats well, strapping is too light a description word. *not a complaint. Cavill’s Curls are out and proud and here to tell us that we are meant to be Having Fun, and Gentle Readers—THEY DO NOT LIE.

No, not a priest’s collar where he is undercover (though I had thought so)

In fact, you could absolutely write your thesis statement on this film, that it’s really a fraternal, familial love story between Sherlock and Enola. Sherlock is the character during the two hours that actually changes. [Yes, Enola comes to an understanding about herself, and her circumstances change repeatedly—but it is Sherlock who experiences a Change of Heart/Reversal]. 

Raise your hand if you’re totally here for significantly older brother/significantly youngest sister family love!

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE IT – This might in no way be helpful, but, Enola Holmes is basically The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles...

Where have you gone, Sean Patrick Flanery?

a YA historical storyline that’s written adjacent to [there, famous people] here, enduring fictional characters. It’s adventurous and pleasantly immersive, historical morays are given a slap-dash portrayal, rather than a fully-accurate representation, there’s adventures to be had, and side-characters to be converted into caring about the title character as much as we, the audience, do.

LUCY HONEYCHURCH – Yes, that gorgeous girl from Windy Corner. The timeline doesn’t jibe, but I daresay Helena Bonham Carter (back in a corset—though she may have worn those for Bellatrix) as Eudoria Holmes *IS* what Lucy Honeychurch might well have become beyond A Room with a View’s end. Bonham Carter looks absolutely at home here (period films have sorely missed her! –she had a part in 2015’s Suffragette), and still wears the trappings of Victorian England like a second skin. 

Not to mention that she now join my personal comfort-list of on-screen mothers with the likes of 1997’s Little Women Susan Sarandon and Cinderella’s Hayley Atwell.

FAMILY ISSUES OR PLOT HOLES? 

It’s a fair question. There’s a lot going on in this plot, some of which...seem solvable. Why has it been so very long since the Holmes brothers have seen their own mother? And sister? How could the woman we come to know as Eudoria raise a Mycroft? [see also, Molly Weasley?] Why aren’t people who seem to care about Enola more engaged with saving her from all the dangers London throws in her way? Why does Enola accept several acts of violence aimed at her, why does she in certain instances Do What She Is Told? Rather than chalk these up to plot holes or convenient devices, I’m siding with the Holmes family being dysfunctional [who knows what dad was like? We’re certainly not told here]. 

[clears throat]

The conversations between Mycroft and Sherlock barely skim the surface of any subject they interact on. Classic dysfunction: distancing one’s true self from human interaction b/c keeping the peace supersedes all else.

Enola accepts certain treatments b/c if we really do watch her relationship with her mother, there is an element of something amiss—as I will declare the later abandonment shows. Enola is a child used to being elevated and celebrated on one hand, and shut out and isolated on the other. Her parent has informed her about so much, but essentially locked her away in a false reality, where Enola is not taken to see the world, nor taught how to interact in it (which is explicitly stated). Perhaps it is not so surprising that the Holmes’ brothers have not cared overly much for visiting their remaining family. And when repeatedly confronted with a minor child (and yet a child likely though old enough or about so, to be married off) being forced to endure things diametrically opposed to her will—the brothers’ reactions are stoic, the system they accept as to how life must be lived immoveable and morally right simply by its very existence.

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN – THE STAR – In what has to be an Emmy-nomination-deserving turn, MBB is nothing short of wholly in charge of the screen. She never overpowers the story. She’s as loveable as Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, and as ready for her closeup as Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games. As another review mentioned, she handles the 4th wall breaks in such as way as we look forward to the next time she’s going to talk to us. We ache with her sorrow for her lost mom, and rage with her at the adults in her life choosing wrongly for her future—or simply not choosing at all.

A random observation, but one that feels important to me: her HAIR. Yes! They’ve managed to make a late Victorian-era film where the heroine’s hair looks like real hair that someone really styled (or in some scenes, didn’t). And yet, where the hair looks proper for the time. [wild applause]

COMPLAINTS: Well, in honesty there aren’t any. If you want to complain that there isn’t any dirt, that the evil of the world (I mean, c’mon, this is narrowly post-Dickensian London, here) is neutered, that the adults in question seem neither alarmed enough or emboldened enough at either their mother or sister being missing and possibly out of their depths in a dangerous society without protection, and in Enola’s case real-world skills--? Well, I’m certainly not going to disagree with you. This is YA Victorian London, after all, not Ripper Street. There is also neither a hint of or actual threat of sexual violence at any point in the film. But the lack of that has preserved us from having to sit through that, as well as no doubt lectures about how Enola’s virtue might be spoilt and she might become useful to no man.

The relationships are appropriate, too. Despite strides between Enola and certain adults in the film, by the time the credits roll they’re not showing physical affection toward each other (a move that would have seemed over-the-top), and teen relationships are shown progressing at a reasonable and mutedly awkward pace.

Now, Netflix, green-light me five more films (or more). There’s still a new version of John Watson to meet, after all!

[thepremedthatwrites]

May I request a smut/fluff/angst/dark based in Narnia/Once Upon a time (season 1 after the curse) where Peter and his wife finally meet after the curse is broken. Peter refuses to see his wife since during the curse world she was with the enemy (Archenland King). His wife tries to explain that it was forced and she didn’t remember him. Edmund know they both are hurting a reunites them. Happy Ending!

I Remember

This was so much fun writing and is kind of my first time experimenting with dirty talk during sex so I hope it isn’t too bad lol.  I hope you like it!! <3

warning: smut below the cut

My eyes seemed to open for the first time as the fog was lifted from my mind.  I was sitting at the kitchen table, staring into my cup of coffee when it happened.  My mind was running a mile a minute as a single word, or more precisely a name left my mouth.  Peter.  I shot out of my seat, the legs of the wooden chair scraping the floor.  The man who I had been living with, who wore the golden band around his left ring finger symbolizing our marriage, turned to look at me.

“You’re not my husband,” I said, my words echoing throughout the silent house.  “You’re not Peter.”  Before the man could reply, I bolted out of the front door and down the street.  People were looking around in confusion as their memories returned to them.  I couldn’t care to stop and check on anyone.  All my mind could focus on was him.  I was panting heavily by the time I reached the house.  I paused to collect myself before knocking on the red door.  

I waited anxiously, straining my ears to hear anything from the other side of the door.  Eventually, the sound of feet shuffling could be heard before the door opened with a loud creak.  Standing there before me was Peter.  His piercing blue eyes looked into mine.  Unlike the warm greeting I had anticipated, his eyes were that of ice.  A scowl was on his face.  “Peter,” I started cautiously.  He looked me up and down, his mouth still twisted in a frown.  As I opened my mouth to speak again, he slammed the door in my face.  I inhaled sharply as the door slam seemed to shake the entire frame of the house.

I knocked on the red door again, this time much more timidly.  “What do you want?” Peter snarled as he ripped the door open.

“Peter, it’s me.  (Y/n),” I said cautiously.  “Do you not remember?”

“I do remember,” he said, crossing his arms.  “I remember you being married to James this entire time.  Not even batting an eye towards me.”

“Peter!” I exclaimed, hardly able to believe what I was hearing.  “I had no recollection of our marriage!  Once we entered this strange town, all my memories disappeared!  How was I to know?”

“If you truly cared about our marriage,” Peter started, his voice growing louder with each word.  “If you truly cared about me,” his voice quivered at the last word, “you would have remembered.”  With that, he slammed the door in my face for the second time that day, leaving me alone.  I turned around, making my way back to the street.  I paused once, taking one last glance at the house before walking again  As I made my way down the street, my vision became blurred as the first of my tears emerged.  I quickly wiped them away which proved fruitless as more tears took their place.  I opened the door to the diner, taking a seat in one of the booths.

“Could I get you something to get started?” the waitress asked me.  I looked up to see the familiar brunette who had been working here for as long as I could remember.

“Just a salad,” I mumbled as the girl walked away to put in my order.  I look at the golden band that sat on my finger.  A reminder of the fake marriage to a man I did not love.  I pulled it off of my finger, tossing it onto the table.  The ring seemed to stare at me as I began to cry, my tears starting to fall onto the table.  How could he just leave me like that?  Did Peter no longer love me?  

“Here’s your burger,” the waitress said, putting down a plate with a burger almost larger than my face and an ungodly amount of fries.  

“I asked for a salad,” I said.

“Sweetie, if I know anything, I know heartbreak when I see it,” she said, a small smile on her face.  “A burger will make you feel much better than a pathetic salad.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, taking a bite.  The waitress was right.  The greasy deliciousness of the burger did taste much better than any salad.  The sound of the diner’s doors opening caused my head to turn.  A familiar brunette boy was standing at the entrance, his eyes scanning the room before falling on me.  

He quickly made his way towards me, sliding into the seat opposite me.  I quickly wiped away my tears, not wanting Peter’s brother to see me crying.  “(Y/n),” he said softly.  

“Yeah?”

“You need to go back to Peter.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried!” I exclaimed, feeling my eyes burn as a fresh set of tears began to form.  “I went to the house only to be met with a door slammed in my face.”

“Don’t let him push you away,” Edmund said, stealing a fry from my plate.  “He needs you.”

“How do you suppose I do that when he won’t even let me talk to him.”  Edmund grabbed another fry from my plate, chewing on it in thought before speaking.

“I have an idea.  Just show up at the house at exactly midnight.  Do not be late.”

I anxiously paced the street, glancing at my phone to see the clock change to 12:00.  It was time.  I took a deep breath before walking up to the red door.  I knocked on the door, waiting for a response.  After a few seconds the door opened to reveal Peter.  I felt my stomach twist in knots as my mind replayed the scene that had occurred the last time we were in this position.  Peter clenched his jaw, his eyes focusing on me who was now squirming under his glare.  Thankfully, Edmund appeared behind his older brother.  “Hey (y/n)!  I was afraid you wouldn’t make it.  Come on in!”  I took a step towards the door, half expecting Peter to not move and block my entrance.  Instead, he stepped aside, letting me into the house.  

I followed Edmund into the living room, Peter close behind me.  There was a coffee table sitting in the middle of the room, a fire roaring in the fireplace.  “Now, I thought it would be fun if we all played a little game together.”  I followed Edmund’s lead, sitting on the floor around the coffee table.  

“What kind of game?” Peter questioned as he sat down on the other side of Edmund.  I felt a pain in my chest, remembering when he would immediately sit behind me, wrapping his strong arms around me in a tight grip.  If it were like it used to be, he would never allow Edmund to be between us.

“Two truths and a lie!” Edmund exclaimed.  I caught Peter rolling his eyes from my peripheral vision.

“I’m not doing this Ed,” he muttered, already starting to get up.

“Not so fast,” Edmund said, grabbing Peter’s wrist.  “You said it was my turn tonight to choose a game for family game night and this is my choice.”

“But Susan and Lucy aren’t even here,” Peter complained.

“I’m sure missing one night won’t kill them.”

“Well then, I could miss a night too.”  It felt as though Peter was squeezing my heart, every word he spoke making it harder for me to breath.

“Peter,” Edmund said sternly.  “You were the one who implemented family game night therefore you have to stay.”  The two boys had a staredown before Peter let out a sigh.

“Fine, whatever,” he muttered.

“I’ll go first,” Edmund said.  “Let’s see, I like chess, I have a stack of books I still haven’t read, and I still have to do my homework for tomorrow.”

“Well, the last one better be the lie,” Peter said.  I couldn’t help but faintly smile, seeing Peter be the usual big brother bringing a sense of comfort to me.

“I’m gonna go with the second one.  You never do your work on time,” I said, causing Edmund to feign an offended look.  

“How dare you say such a thing (y/n),” he said, causing both Peter and me to chuckle.  I felt my heart flutter as we both looked up, our eyes meeting.  For a moment, I forgot how to breathe as I got lost in the ocean that was Peter’s eyes.

“You are right though,” Edmund said, breaking Peter and me out of our trance.  “I should probably do my homework now.  Why don’t you two play without me.”  He got up to go, giving his brother a firm pat on the shoulder and giving me a small smile.  He disappeared into the hallway before the sound of his bedroom door could be heard being shut.

Peter and I both sat in awkward silence as I busied myself with the hem of my skirt.  “I’m sorry.”  I looked up at Peter.  “I’m sorry,” he repeated.  “I shouldn’t have said what I said before.  You had no control over what you did.  It was a spell.”

“I should’ve done better,” I whispered as I felt tears start to run down my face.

“There was nothing you could have done,” Peter said, scooting to my side.  “If anything, I should have been understanding.  It wasn’t like I remembered our marriage.”

“I feel like I failed you.  I broke our vows,” I said between sobs.  

“No,” Peter said in almost a whisper.  His face was now covered in tears as well.  “Don’t say that.  I never want to make you think that.  (Y/n), I love you.  And I let my stupid jealousy get in the way.”  He wrapped his arms around me, his familiar scent surrounding me.  I felt the tears start to slow as I rested my head on his chest.  He was running his hands through my hair, rocking us back and forth slightly.  As I started to compose myself, I looked up at him before running a hand through his golden locks.  

“I love you,” I said, letting my hand travel from his hair to his face where I wiped away his remaining tears.

“I love you,” he replied.  He smashed his lips into mine without warning.  I felt my heart race as I tasted him for the first time in what felt like ages.  I turned so that I was now straddling his lap, my fingers entangled with his hair.  His tongue parted my lips, allowing for our tongues to be pressed together as I started to slightly grind on his crotch.  The motion earned a low growl from him.  He pulled away for a moment, both of us slightly panting as our hands wandered the other’s body.  “We should take this back to my room,” he mumbled.  I nodded in agreement.  I quickly got off of him as he dragged me to his bedroom.  As soon as the door was closed I was slammed into the wall.

His sucked and bit on any revealed skin as his hands worked on taking off my clothes.  I let out soft moans, helping him undress me as I felt the growing wetness between my legs.  Our lips reconnected in a bruising kiss, his grip on my waist sure to leave a bruise later.  He pinned my hands above my head before harshly sucking on my tits causing me to let out a loud moan.  “You’re mine, understand?”  There was a fire in his eyes that made my heart skip a beat.  I nodded fervently as he lightly bit on one of my nipples causing my back to arch.  

Peter seemed to be done teasing me as he threw me onto his bed, ripping off his shirt and then his pants.  I licked my lips at the sight, having missed the view of his tight abs and tanned skin.  He roughly pulled me towards him, lining himself before pushing in harshly.  I let out a loud moan as he stretched me out.  “Fuck baby, you’re so tight,” he moaned as he slowly pulled out before crashing into me again.  My back arched in pleasure as another moan left my mouth.  “I’m the only person allowed to see you like this,” he said as he thrust into me again.  

“Oh Peter,” I gasped, gripping onto the bedsheets as he quickened his pace.  He had placed my left leg over his shoulder, allowing him to go even deeper.  The bed had started to shake as he pounded into me mercilessly.  “I’m so close,” I gasped, throwing my head back in pleasure.  I felt my toes curl as my walls collapsed around him.  He let out a low moan as I rode out my first orgasm.  He slowed down before pulling out.  

“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded, stroking himself as I did as I was told.  I could feel him hover over me, his hands wandering my body.  “I love watching you come undone for me baby,” he whispered into my ear.  “I’m sure James never made you feel this good.”  All I could do was moan in response.  Peter gently kissed the back of my neck before readjusting himself.  

“Oh God,” I moaned as he pushed into me.  I was soon a moaning mess again as Peter fucked me from behind.  The sound of skin on skin mixed with our moans as the headboard continuously slammed into the wall.  

“Who do you belong to,” Peter asked, his voice commanding as he slapped my ass.

“You,” I moaned, my fingers starting to cramp as I held onto the sheets for dear life.

“You have to be louder than that,” he chastised, slapping my ass again and causing me to moan.

“You Peter,” I moaned loudly.  “Oh God, I’m all yours.”  

“What a good girl.”  I felt him reach beneath me before drawing circles on my clit.

“Peter!” I screamed, my vision becoming blurred as the pleasure was becoming too much.

“That’s it, baby.  I want you to cum all over my cock.”  Peter’s words pushed me over the edge as my eyes were forced close, a string of curses leaving my mouth as my entire body shook beneath Peter.  I could hear Peter moaning into my ear as hot spurts of cum poured into me.  Peter’s hands gripped my hips as he emptied into me.  We both stayed in position, panting heavily with beads of sweat collecting on our foreheads.  Peter slowly pulled out his now softened cock as I collapsed onto the bed.

He fell onto the bed next to me, turning to face me as he brushed a strand of (h/c) locks out of my face.  “I’m never going to lose you again,” he whispered as he pulled me closer to his body.  “No matter what, I’ll be by your side till the day I die.”  

[growingstronglikeahighgardenrose]

Sanditon Season 2: all the news & my thoughts

So, we're getting not one but two new seasons of Sanditon! After a year of tremendous effort on behalf of the Sanditon sisterhood who kept the fandom alive, we'll be looking at a new season. Although I think the biggest thank you probably goes out to Bridgerton, which showed that romance, regency, a diverse cast and butts are a perfect mix to lure audiences.

I want to take this moment to reflect on what I think we'll win, what we'll lose and what we can expect in the future.

1. No Sidlotte HEA

This is probably the most heartbreaking salty news we could get. But I know Theo James, he likes new projects. And after divergent's disaster, I can't blame the boy for not wanting to hang onto another franchise. As a fanfic writer, although mainly an Esther/Babington one, I broke my head for over a year on how to get Sidlotte together. I had to imagine the grandest schemes to get them together. Tom needed 10 000 pounds in less than a month. Even Babington was probably not worth that much. That's over 6 million in today's money if adjusted to inflation. Regency era's England's top 1-2% made that in a full a year, and most of that is probably in assets and investments. And they don't just get to keep that money, most used a good chunk of it to keep their estates running and to pay their staff. Anyone know someone who has a casual 6 million lying around?

There's only two realistic solutions: either have Eliza die: which would be cruel and take years (unless you kill her in childbirth 9 months in), or create a grand scheme that would take months and see Sidney, Crowe and Babington actively work hard on their 'business' while in the meantime Charlotte, Lady Denham and Lady Susan get everyone including the prince regent to come to Sanditon. I kind of accepted they would have a hard time getting out of that plot twist. It was likely that Sidlotte could not be endgame.

Personally, I never felt a strong connection to Sidlotte, and had hoped that Charlotte, like Jane Bennet, would go to London with Lady Susan to recover from her heartbreak, and I kind of hoped James Stringer would eventually go down there for his apprenticeship, where a sort of Captain Wentworth-like situation would come to exist where he is a young man trying to make something of himself. I know Charlotte didn't love him. But I also knew that Charlotte wanted adventure and perhaps needed to grow as a person. But in the new season she'll probably be a bit jaded, closed off, and depressed. And will probably need a softer more available man. Growing up goes with swinging to extremes. She was an open optimist at the beginning, and eventually turned to the opposite, not letting her emotions shine through and being very guarded (@miss-holly-goes-lightly did a wonderful post on this). Adulthood is finding a good balance again.

So while I am saddened, because this brings along a long set of questions like: "Does Sanditon still take place in Sanditon then?" "Where will Sidney live, will he then live in London with his wife?" "Why doesn't he come help his brother the next season or visit his family, as we know Tom will make a mess of things" The show will have to answer these questions in a believable manner.

2. No Beaufort twins

Mollie Holder said on her instagram that the Beauforts wouldn't be returning. This leads to quite a few questions like: where will Georgiana stay then? What will be happening to Mrs. Griffiths? Will Georgiana be her sole ward while the Beaufort's absence is explained as them having married or having become governesses?

3. Who remains aboard

Rose Williams is definitely on board. It's also pretty certain Tom will be there again. Lady Denham is also likely to return. The child actors and their parents were willing, but worried about their increasing age a few months back. Old Stringer said he'd have loved to be part of Sanditon again and to see it continue, but he's well... dead on the show so he won't return. So who will join Charlotte?

Leo Sutter might not return. He plays an important role in the next spin-off of vikings. Vikings has a new season each year. On top of that he's currently busy recording Gateway 6. We don't know how long that might take. And perhaps by the time filming ends he's required for the next season of the Walhalla series. Leo Sutter is a rising star, he might not even have the time to return. Especially for two seasons. At his age and point in his career, he needs to cement his name, or he'll remain b-list while he has a-list potential. So he might have to give up Sanditon for his career. It's sad, I'd love a Stringer/Charlotte future where they both grow to being suitable for each other while becoming people confident in their own abilities. But in the end, I would be alright with it, as Charlotte didn't express immediate interest in him. Writing him out would also be fairly easy, they could just write that despite thinking he had to stay home after his father's death, he went to London in the end under Charlotte's encouragement. Perhaps he could then come back for a guest appearance.

Crystal Clarke will reprise her role as Georgiana. Clarke has, since Sanditon, spoken out about the sometimes tone-deaf director and scriptwriters. She had to step in a few times to make sure Georgiana was done justice. She also said she hoped Georgiana, if the show was continued, would get the space to breathe and be independent, instead of playing a minor role as token black friend of Charlotte while under the control of Sidney. It will be complex to have her return without involving Sidney, as his character will have to be written out. I imagine this can be done with a timejump, but the timejump would have to be 4 years to make Georgiana 'of age' as she is 17 in the show. They'll probably place her under someone's care while saying Sidney is "still her guardian, but away". Georgiana is, in my opinion, an essential part of Sanditon. Bridgerton showed the world wanted to see diverse faces. Austen wrote a black character as a wealthy and desirable woman. They simply have to do more with her in the future. Clarke will reprise her role, this time with black writers to do justice to her character. I'm excited to see what will be done.

The actor who plays Arthur, Turlough Convery, is a good actor and mostly in period pieces. However he's never overly in demand, and usually stays with shows for multiple seasons. I think he's quite willing to come back and it means Georgiana would have a friend. I also hope they delve into his character, especially after his "I don't think i'll ever get married".

Matthew Needham and Mark Stanley, Crowe and Babington, are Sidney's best friends. It will be hard to have them come back without them explaining why Sidney is never with them. But I believe they would work well as a duo: the drunk and the one braincell are a fun dynamic. Both are not much in demand, despite that I quite like them as actors. So we might see them returning. Their return would also be vital for the return of a few other characters:

Their return would also be vital for the return of a few other characters:

Charlotte Spencer's Esther Denham is married to Babington. Without Babington returning, how can Esther? And vice versa. Their storyline was also the main romance for me and a big part of the last few episodes. They kinda need to return. Babington is also Sanditon's access point to high society. To cash in on Bridgerton's success they should search that royal connection. Babington is friends with the Prince Regent. On top of that he has the most money. If he hosts a party and Charlotte is invited, this is where they get those grand-bridgertonesque scenes.

Lily Sacofsky's Clara had a romantic subplot with Crowe. In their final unaired scene they went to London together. She could return. However, the chances are quite slim. Clara is in London, and Sanditon takes place in Sanditon. Unless Lady Susan takes Charlotte to London for a while and she meets Clara and Edward there, cooking up a plan to get back at Esther and Lady Denham.

4. Predictions

There's no words to describe the popularity of Bridgerton, so this WILL influence Sanditon. I predict: more sex, more scandal, and even more ahistorically modern ideas and characters, multiple female characters and multiple male characters that each get screentime and their separate storylines and developments like in bridgerton, instead of just Charlotte's pov we follow. Glamorous scenes. And more POC.

The season will start with a timejump in all likeliness (as it is easier so they don't have to focus too much on her grieving). Charlotte will catch us up with what has happened while perhaps narrating over some letters she's written to georgiana and lady susan. She'll return to Sanditon during a summer. Sanditon will have been partially rebuilt with Eliza's money, and many activities will be planned. Sanditon will be in some kind of trouble. Charlotte will still be a planner. Her being very actively involved in things and having a vision was one of the most alluring parts of her character. In the books there was a rival town Tom hated. That might be a bit tricky to adapt so they could introduce some local competition for attention around Sanditon. A local duke hosting parties could overshadow tom's events. Or the social season in London could lure everyone there instead of to Sanditon. Charlotte will try to help Tom with this while getting reacquainted with everyone still in Sanditon, and hearing about the reasons why Sidney/Esther/Stringer/The Beauforts (to be seen) aren't in the show anymore. She'll also rebuild her relationship with Georgiana.

Then one day for an event Charlotte will invite Lady Susan, who will invite her to the London season to get over her heartache à la Jane Bennet. Charlotte will join Lady Susan to lure a crowd to Sanditon. There, she'll be confronted with some of her demons of the past season. Perhaps a pregnant Eliza Campion makes an appearance to rub it in Charlotte's face. In Sense & Sensibility Margaret discovered Willoughby's relationship in a most shocking manner in an almost public setting. Sanditon likes to nod at all Austen books so this could be a nod at that book when Charlotte discovers unpleasant news in a public manner. Charlotte will congratulate her and wish them happiness, and afterwards either a girlpower moment could happen with Lady Susan or Georgiana supporting her, or a love moment. Mrs Campion has tried to talk Charlotte down in front of people in the past, if she did it again, a new love interest could step in at that time to compliment her and then take her off for a dance. That could be an emotional moment for her, as she realized her feelings for Sidney in London during a dance the last time around as well. And she could have her cinderella moment by excusing herself and running off after the dance, uncertain of her feelings. She'll have some grand balls, might be harrassed by a man and risk a scandal, or try and prevent Georgiana from ruin during a scandal.

At the last moment she'll succeed in her goal and lure a crowd to Sanditon's events that will put Sanditon on the map. Either the local competitive duke, or someone from London will be impressed with her, but she won't be ready to marry yet. I trust that by the end of the second season, she'll finally have a realisation that she's quite happy with how she's living her life and how good her work is, and that she has finally stopped feeling sad. So the second season will stop with her atop a cliff, letting go of the traumatic loss she suffered on that same cliff a season before. By the end of the season, one or two love interests will be set up for the last season.

So the nudity and big romance will have to come from elsewhere. Georgiana will get more agency and action in the next seasons. She could be trying to tempt Charlotte in joining her adventures as a single wealthy independent woman. She might even leave to find her place in the world via boat, returning to where she was last truly happy: Antigua. The second season could maybe end with Charlotte overlooking Georgiana's boat leaving from the previously mentioned clifftop. Another option is Georgiana falling in love with a local man and taken an interest in the town. Financially speaking, Georgiana could be the only one able to save Sanditon. But I don't think she owes the town anything. Another option is the writers focus on Georgiana navigating her relationship with Otis, who might be back home for a holiday after navy duty. We could also see some political debates à la Poldark S5 about freedom, servitude, independence and so on. The first plan for Georgiana doesn't even have to exclude the second, she could decide to sail away with Otis to find their place in the world. In any case: race shall not be brushed under the carpet and Georgiana will kick some shins on her way to her happy ending. In Jane Austen, we have rarely seen a woman who tried to elope, or escape her guardian, get a happy ending. Georgiana Darcy, Eliza Williams, Eliza's mother, ... they're all tragic tales of women falling for bad guys who try to steal their virtue or take their money. And in the end they always become dependent on men again. I hope in Sanditon Georgiana will learn and grow herself, instead of being coddled by men. A lot could be done.

Esther and Babington could be a very cool insert if the actors join. They can really connect the high society to Sanditon. They could host balls, invest in Sanditon or drive the London plot. But they can also be an emotional backbone to the show. Esther married Babington, but she wasn't in love yet. I'm not a fan of the edward/Esther angle. After all he did, I rather she hated him with burning passion and never spoke to him again. But he could try to blackmail her and ruin her reputation in London. Perhaps become some kind of Lord Whistledown. With Charlotte coming to Esther's aid. Esther's plotline could be about learning to trust people and open her heart again. Perhaps she could have a conflict with Babington about him wanting a family and she still being uneasy with marriage, let alone children. Maybe they could have a fight, with one of them going to London. In their separation they might realize they love each other. And then the other comes back home from London with Charlotte and they fix everything. Another route is them having a fight, Esther going to confront Edward or Clara about their blackmailing or maneouvring. Babington thinks it's because she doesn't love him, but actually it's because she loves Babington and wants to be rid of her past. But she gets into an accident and Babington only realizes the truth later on, leading to a happy ending.

Other things I'd love to see: Mary finally growing a backbone and telling Tom to either be open about his affairs and finances or be gone. Arthur and Diana growing a backbone and telling their brother he's a fuck up. Charlotte realizing Tom is stupid. Lady Denham appointing Charlotte or Arthur to head of Sanditon after showing their worth an entire season. Tom being repentant. Diana getting over her fears. Arthur getting a love interest. Crowe being in Sanditon, I just love him. Kisses. Healthy love interests that aren't broody and traumatized and in need of fixing by women. Jane Austen's men need to do their growing ON THEIR OWN. And then they earn their brides.

5. What we'll lose

- A Sidlotte ending: once the new season comes out, Sidlotte is no longer headcanon.

- A happy Esther/Babington ending: they married and looked happy, despite Esther's rushed turn around. If they're in the new season, their marriage won't be perfect. They'll have conflicts, just for plot. Whatever headcanons we had for them will probably be falsified. We might come to dislike them or their relationship. I've seen almost all my ships crumble to dust on the rocks of multiple seasons dragging out relationships and piling on conflict just to keep it interesting.

- A part of what made Sanditon Sanditon: we'll lose many faces we've come to love. And the dynamics and relationships will therefore change a lot.

- Fanfics become dated: I know it is the problem of every fandom, but it's one I regret all the same. Part of why I love Austen fandoms is the fact that the books are written. The characters and relationships won't change. With 2 new seasons coming, all fanfics out there will become dated. The millions of hours authors put into Sidlotte fics will perhaps become barely read when Charlotte gets new love interests. All the headcanons I and many others wrote down for Sidlotte, Esther/Babington, Charlotte/Stringer, will officially become silly fantheories. I've been there a couple of times before that shows changed the entire course and personality of certain characters and then you can't help but feel exhausted and sometimes annoyed because these are your babies and you had dreams for them, and the writers took them in directions that sometimes don't do them justice. But it's canon so you gotta accept it. Sometimes fantasy is nicer than a writer toying around with storylines and characters just to create drama. And I'll have to write my characters in a new way that fits the characters based on the info from the new seasons. I might fall out of love with them. Ah, the burden of being a shipper weighs heavy.

- Perhaps we still lose a HEA: Season one ended with a happy babington/Esther and an unhappy Charlotte who learned a lot, and a Sanditon that was saved. Although Sanditon has been extended for two seasons it's possible that if the ratings for S2 aren't good they may still cancel the third season. If they don't learn from their mistakes and end season 2 on another cliffhanger even Esther's relationship and sanditon may be at stake. If they're getting 2 seasons they will also not marry or engage charlotte in the second, meaning Charlotte will still be single by the end of the series if they cancel season 3. The whole reason we wanted more seasons was for charlotte to have a HEA. So I'm really fearful that she'll be put in another hard spot. They at least need to get her happy by the end of S2.

6. What we'll gain

- More sanditon content

- More regency era content and images and music which is always lovely

- Seeing our favourites again

- Hopefully we get to see new challenges and romance and humor and tense moments and scandal and drama that will be fun to watch

- A Georgiana story arc: a black woman in a realistic historical setting living her life, being wealthy, and England just having to Deal With It. And as cherry on top she'll be written by black writers.

- Happy endings (hopefully)

- New hot men! This is a guarantee

- Perhaps LGBTQ+ representation with Arthur

- Frustration at Tom's antics (guaranteed)

- Maybe some interactions with Charlotte's siblings

- Esther Babington content

- New material to write fanfics and metas about

- Over 8 hours of viewing pleasure

[villainous-queen]

The Servant (1963)

While looking for the newest episode of M. Night Shyamalan's Servant I accidentally found a film from 1963 called "The Servant" and after reading the quick blurb I decided to watch it on a whim and I will tell you now that I was NOT disappointed. I went into it not knowing it co-stared Dirk Bogarde, a man I knew well enough from the great film "The Night Porter", who plays Barrett. The other co-star "Tony" is played by a James Fox.

Hugo Barrett is a manservant, a "gentleman's gentleman" and Tony is his employer, an aristocratic property developer and aspiring drunk. 

The film begins with the power being as you'd expect, with Barrett looking after Tony's needs such as making him food, drinks, keeping the place clean and other such duties and with Tony working, trying to acquire a development in Africa to create not one but three whole new cities.

Tony is dating a woman named Susan who is just as upper class as he is, a lady. She instantly takes a seemingly unwarranted dislike to Barrett and she eventually downright despises him when Barrett accidentally walks in on the two in flagrante delicto. She demands that Barrett be fired or at least "confined to quarters" but Tony doesn't want to loose him. 

At some point Barrett convinces Tony to hire a maid, a woman named Vera who Barrett says is his sister. She comes to stay at the house and we discover that Vera and Barrett are romantically involved, which they continue to be behind the closed doors of Tony's house. Quickly enough however Tony and Vera also become romantically involved and he starts to loose interest in Susan, much to her confusion and dismay. One day however Susan and Tony return home soon and unannounced to find Barrett and Vera together.

Tony is heartbroken and in those moments Barrett reveals that not only are they NOT related but he also says to Susan that Vera and Tony have been intimate which of course makes Susan break up the relationship. Barrett and Vera leave together (after Tony kicks them out) and in those moments they seem happy.

Heartbroken Tony starts to go downhill, he stops working, he drinks even more than he used to, he stops caring for himself or his house which precedes to fall apart. A bit of time passes before Tony runs into Barrett in a bar, apparently Vera has stolen his money and left him for a bookie so he's working for a woman he doesn't like. He practically begs to come back and Tony, a mess, just wants someone to come in and fix everything so he agrees. THIS is when everything really kicks off, when the power begins to shift. 

Tony drinks the same amount or more and we discover he is no longer employed at all. Barrett spends time balancing the budget trying to keep food on the table and struggling to keep the place clean. He berates Tony for being a lay about but at this point Tony still thinks he's the one in charge. When Barrett threatens to leave however Tony breaks and this is when the power finally fully shifts, Barrett is no longer the servant. The two live together almost like a married couple and they no longer leave the house, it's strange as Tony laments to Barrett how he'd like to go for a walk but then proceeds not to even attempt to go outside. 

Instead the two mostly spend their days playing cards or throwing a ball around in a crude imitation of cricket using vases. When Tony attempts to quit drinking after realizing how little he is contributing, Barrett instead convinces Tony to drink "something special" which seems to be more like laudanum than any alcoholic drink. Falling even deeper into his troubles and dependency, it all comes to a head when Susan returns to find Tony out of his mind on drink and Barrett having planned a party, a seemingly common occurrence now. 

It's a decadent kind of affair where the women invited seem mostly content to leave Tony to the floor, drinking, while Barrett has his way with them. Susan is disgusted and leaves them to their ruin.

The film is an interesting one with brilliant lines each with hidden meaning from Barrett talking about his nickname in the army,

Barrett: "In the army they used to call me Basher Barrett, sir." Tony: "Oh, really? Why?" Barrett: "I was a very good driller."

To when Barrett holds out a pack of cigarettes and asks Susan if she "Want[s] a fag?" while looking at Tony who is on the ground, out of his mind. And even when they are absently thinking about their relationship,

Tony: "You know, sometimes I get the feeling that we're two old pals." Barrette: "That's funny." Tony: "Why?" Barrett "I got the same feeling myself. I've only had that same feeling once before." Tony: Did you? When was that? Barrett: "Once in the army." Tony: "Well, that's funny. I had the same feeling myself there too. Once."

These two are strange fellows and there is so much to break down and honestly I could gush about this 1960's film for hours more but I really just recommend you watch it for yourself. Their relationship is a treat, a strange surreal look into two men and the power dynamics of them within an aristocratic society fraught with societal dangers.

[miryum]

Stop forcing me away (bucky x reader) FINALE

Warning: This chapter has mentions of torture and abuse. I will be warning you for when it's coming, but you can't skip this chapter because it has some important plot points and backstory... And it's also the finale...

"So," Susan continues, "I think you might have figured out by now that I work for Hydra. Surprise!"

You bite your tongue and resist rolling your eyes.

"What are you thinking right now?" Susan spits.

You huff and say, "I'm thinking that Nat owes me twenty dollars."

---

"Very funny. You might be wondering how I got to working for Hydra."

Not really. You think. Susan has always been a drama queen. She always felt the need to explain herself in a big dramatic fashion. But, you know that saying something snarky would only get you slapped; so you hold your tongue.

Susan smirks and pulls out a tray of knives, syringes, and other assorted torture weapons.

"After you ran away, I was distraught! Because the government wouldn't be paying me anymore for you. But, I also saw your powers. So, I did some digging, and found an organization called Hydra, that was very interested in your powers. So, we made a deal. They would help me find you, do whatever research they wanted, then release you back into my custody. It was quite simple. But, of course, you didn't make it easy for us... Until, we found a file on you from the X-Men. So, we quickly swooped in and captured you. I'm sure you remember that part. All the experiments... " She caresses a syringe full of green liquid, "All the pain..." She picks up a sharp knife and then sets it down, "All the... questioning." Susan eyes flick up to you, and you see something in them that you haven't seen for eight years: power.

"We observed you for a bit," Susan continues, "We were able to hack into Tony Stark's security footage and saw something... rather interesting. You've become rather close to... a certain Winter Soldier."

You freeze and Susan obviously sees it, "Ah! Does that name strike a cord with you? Well then, to protect the rest of the Avengers, would you mind telling me how we could get to the Winter Soldier... and how to turn him back into the Winter Solider?"

The information hits you like a ton of bricks. They want to capture Bucky and turn him back into the Winter Soldier?! But didn't Wanda erase the trigger words from his mind? Then destroy the book? You don't know anything about this!

You keep your mouth shut, and Susan's eyes glint. She picks up a rather sharp knife from her collection, "Well then, I might just have to find ways to... persuade you."

TRIGGER WARNING!!! Skip down to avoid.

Susan places the knife on the inside of your leg, pressing down slightly. "Now," She hissed, "Tell me how to get to your precious James Barnes."

You didn't say anything. Susan presses down, drawing a clear line of blood. You whimper, but still hold strong. "Oh, come on (Y/n)!" Susan chuckles, "You can't really care that much for him! You've only known "Bucky" for a bit. And he surely doesn't feel the same about you."

You draw you lips into a thin line, thinking back to the disagreement earlier today in the Quinjet.

Susan quickly draws the knife back, slicing a long chuck of your leg open. You cry out, but it's nothing that you've never felt before.

But still, you hold your tongue.

The interrogation goes on, you earning more cuts along all of your body, each a bit deeper and longer than the last. And after every cut, you still stand strong and don't say anything other than yelling out in pain and pleading her to stop. You see Susan getting angrier and impatient every time.

"Well." She seethes, after she's used almost every single torture device on her tray, "I have one more thing to try." She pulls out the last thing: the syringe filled with green liquid. "I'll come back in a couple of hours to see how you're doing, maybe then you'll talk!"

She plunges the syringe into your neck and presses down, releasing the liquid into your veins.

You scream as the green goop fills your neck, quickly entering your bloodstream and racing to the other parts of your body.

It feels like fire in your veins, each inch excruciatingly painful. The sharp burning sensation was worse than anything you've ever felt, even worse than the bullet. No words could describe it. (Or perhaps the author is just really bad at describing pain...)

Susan laughs and then exits the room, leaving you only with your screams of pleading.

TRIGGER WARNING OVER

After a couple of hours, the pain subsides, leaving you panting. Even if you were too weak to stand, you knew you had to get out of here. But you don't think you could stand, much less run away.

But, nonetheless, you use the same move you used with the Avengers; creating a small field around your hands and feet and trying to stand up, separating yourself from the table. Luckily, it works.

You slide off the table, knees buckling as soon as your feet hit the floor. You pant as blood began flowing more steadily from your wounds.

You stagger towards the door and heave it open. Outside, you see a couple soldiers and scientists, who all stop and stare at you.

You stare back, leaning heavily on the door, dependent on it to stay upward.

After a beat, the tension is cut, and they start yelling. You use your remaining energy to create a light blue field around yourself, and you take off along the hallway.

You have to stop from crying out after every step. But are making progress when at the end of the corridor, the door in sight, you see a Hydra agent holding a large gun, that's charging up with blue energy.

It hits your field and you stumble back a bit, but your field stays strong and you continue forward.

You come closer and closer to the agent, and once they realize it's not doing anything, they swing the vibranium weapon at you, like a sword.

You stare in astonish as it passes right through your field, throwing you to the ground, knocking the air out of you.

You and the agent stop and lock eyes, mouths open, eyes wide.

Then, a wicked grin comes over there face as they start beating you with the weapon, making you curl up into a ball, whimpering.

Just as you're about to pass out, freedom within view, the door slams open, revealing a large silhouetted figure.

Your eyes adjust to the outdoor sun, and you then see Bucky, in full armor, gun in hand, eyes full of hate.

"Out. Of my. Way." Bucky cocks his gun, voice low and deadly.

The agent scurries out of his way, about to turn a corner, when Bucky shoots him.

The gunshot alerts other agents and soldiers, and they come running down the hall. Guns fire from either side, you trapped in the middle.

Bullets ping off of Bucky's metal arm, and soon the Hydra agents are all lying on the floor, dead.

Bucky rushes over to you and scoops you up in his arms.

You shiver, and pull yourself closer to him.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers, "I never should have left you. The team wanted to make a plan, and with Nat down, it was just taking to long. I would've come sooner, but they tried to stop me and-"

You cut him off by pulling him to you by the collar of his jacket and pressing your lips to his.

Bucky inhales sharply but soon melts into the kiss.

"I'm sorry." You mumble against his lips.

He chuckles and pulls away, "What do you have to be sorry for?"

You lean against him as Bucky walks out of the Hydra base, and into the trees.

"We-we had that argument in the Quinjet and I feel bad. We left off on the wrong note..."

Bucky chuckles again and says, "That's it? (Y/n), that was a silly disagreement. I forgot all about it! I'm just happy you're safe."

He kisses you again and you smile.

Everything was alright.

[chvndlcr]

hey everyone, i’m elle! i’m in the est timezone. i’m nonbinary and i use she/her pronouns. i’m very bad at doing short intro posts but i’m gonna try to keep these short and sweet. so now let’s talk about my boy chan. he is my oldest oc - i've been writing him since 2014. 

[ alex fitzalan, cis man, 22, he/him ] did you see who just walked in? it was that SENIOR, the ╳ + ASSIDUOUS AND  - GUARDED ╳  one? you know, the one who lives OFF CAMPUS, CHANDLER LINWOOD! i heard they are majoring in BUSINESS and they can’t wait to get out of here to FIGURE OUT WHAT HE WANTS TO DO.  crap! stop staring, here they come! 

name. james chandler linwood // when chandler was five, he found out about middle names at school. after asking his dad what his was, he immediately decided that chandler was a way cooler name than james, and has gone by his middle name ever since. one of his pet peeves is people referring to him as james.  hometown. wayzata, mn // suburb of minneapolis major. business // chandler has no clue what he wants to do with his life. he’s been doing some photography gigs on the side since his freshman year of college, so he decided it wouldn’t hurt to get a degree in business so he could run his own shit better. he knows he doesn’t want to do photography as a career long-term, though. birthday. february 11th, 1999 // twenty two years old.  gender. cis man orientation. biromantic asexual // chan is completely out as ‘bi’. most people assume that means he’s bisexual and he doesn’t correct that idea. he’s a lot quieter about being asexual. a lot of people don’t understand what it is, and ask invasive questions, and he’s a naturally private person who wants to avoid all of that entirely.  hobbies. photography, cooking, video games phobias. acrophobia // fear of heights allergy. bee venom

[ BIO ] [tw. abuse/neglect, alcoholism, drug addiction, self harm, depression]

chandler is the only child of john and susan linwood. susan is a doctor while john works for an advertising company. susan has always been a bit ‘out there’, with no brain-to-mouth filter and some very problematic viewpoints and opinions. john started drinking when chan was eight. actually, he relapsed into drinking again, but chandler doesn’t know he had an alcohol problem before that. chandler knew his parents loved him; one of their better parenting traits was making sure he didn’t forget that. but they weren’t mentally present enough to be very good parents. gradually his dad became angry and violent while he was drinking and that, coupled with chandler’s rebellious teenage years, made the linwood home a less and less safe place for chandler.

in high school, he was known for hanging out with the “wrong crowd”. he partied a lot, trying to mentally escape from his home life and normal teen angst stuff. he often mouthed off to teachers and got in trouble on a regular basis. but he also worked really hard in school, taking mostly AP classes while managing As and Bs. not many people knew what to make of that, and acted like he was just a troublemaker that was naturally gifted. but in reality he was juggling challenging school work, a busy social life, and doing all of the cooking and cleaning at home. 

another thing chan had a reputation for was quickly rotating through girlfriends (and boyfriends, but there weren’t anywhere near as many guys to date at his suburban high school). but it wasn’t the situation everyone thought it was. as relationships became more physically intimate, he became more uncomfortable. as soon as sex was suggested, he would end the relationship. in hindsight, this wasn’t the best way to approach dating. but at the time, he had no idea asexuality was a thing and that he didn’t owe anyone sex just because they were in a relationship.

his longest high school relationship was madison. they had mutual friends and started hanging out. madison had a fairly obvious drug problem, but that didn’t bother chandler. a part of him was more attracted to her because of it, although he’d never admit that to anyone. plus she was asexual. this not only was how he found out that was a sexual orientation, but it also took a lot of anxiety out of the idea of dating and chandler fell hard. 

madison easily grew jealous. she was biphobic, hated sharing chandler with anyone, and was often bossy and controlling. yet chandler noticed none of the red flags until it was too late. by the time he started trying to untangle himself from her, he couldn’t. he was scared what she would do to herself if he ended things, and as she became physically violent he was scared of what she would do to him as well. since he couldn’t get out of the situation, and had never learned healthy ways of coping with the stress and trauma in his life, he turned to binge drinking and self harm.

his way out came in the form of an acceptance letter from suffolk university. as soon as he graduated high school, he left for boston and never looked back. 

while he had a great inner drive in high school, that came to a screeching halt once he started college. his motivation had always been to get out of wayzata. but now that he was finally free, he had no idea what to do. at the same time, he was dealing with the aftermath of both his dad and his ex-girlfriend’s abuse towards him. 

while he continued pushing forward, he never found that motivation to really care about school or his future again. he’s in his final year of college and still hasn’t figured out what he wants to do with his life. he feels stuck and frustrated.

most people don’t know about his parents, or his struggles with mental health and self harm. he’s in total denial that he has a problem with alcohol. he simply doesn’t open up easily, preferring to surround himself with a shell that can become spiky if he feels uncomfortable. but he’s always cracking jokes and acting like he doesn’t take anything seriously, putting up a front so nobody looks too closely at the cracks.

[ HEADCANONS ] 

while chandler is shit at taking care of his own needs, he’s amazing at taking care of other people. he will hold your hair back at a party while you throw up, make sure you drink enough water and electrolytes, then make you breakfast in the morning. he’s definitely a bit of a ‘mom friend’, although he doesn’t think he is.

he may act apathetic, but he cares. a lot. he’s a rather empathetic person. unfortunately he has the emotional intelligence of a spoon, so this isn’t always a good thing

sometimes when he’s drunk, chandler starts rambling about video game and/or cartoon conspiracy theories

his yearbook quote was “would you woohoo me in sims yes or no”

also he really likes cooking for other people so if he asks to cook for you please just humor him and say yes

[ WANTED CONNECTION ]

some sort of family member // he’s an only child, so probably a cousin. they don’t have to be from minnesota.

exes // guys, girls, nonbinary people....doesn’t matter. 

fake relationship // for some reason, these two pretend they’re dating. maybe more happens, maybe not.

restaurant service // they can’t cook, so they’re always coming over and eating what chandler makes.

roommate // they could be the best of friends or hate each others guts. lots of room to find the right dynamic

best friend // one of the only people chan trusts, and they know everything about him

classmate // self explanatory

[ DISCLAIMERS ]

i know some people get really touchy about aces being portrayed as sex repulsed so often. asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, that’s it. some aces like sex. however, chandler does not and that’s okay too!

also i know he has some heavy topics in his writing. i will tag any post that involve these topics accordingly, and always do my absolute best to handle this kind of material in a respectful and empathetic way. 

[ FINAL NOTES ]

so yeah that’s chandler. so much for making this short, but i actually left a lot of small details out. please like this post or send me a message to start plotting with my son.

[yamujiburo]

tagged by @queenof-evil-blogging

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions!  Don’t look at them first. Then tag some people.

Pokemon

Jimmy Neutron

The Amazing World of Gumball

Steven universe

My Little Pony

Who is your favorite character in 2? 

Carl Wheezer!!! My boy!!! Most people either love or hate Carl and Sheen but they were the best part of the show for me. I like how he’s kinda the nerdy trope but actually not (he’s really dumb). The voice acting for him is A+, the gags with him are my FAVORITE (“that’s not mine...” “that’s not me”). God I love him

who is your least favorite character in 1? 

Oh god there’s so many characters in Pokémon. I didn’t really like Paul much. He’s a good character/rival and serves his purpose in the show but uh yeah didn’t really like him.

what is your favorite episode of 4? 

THERE’S TOO MANY GOOD SU EPISODES!! The one I go to the most though is Rose’s Scabbard. Such a beautifully sad episode where we learn about Pearl’s relationship with Rose. Plus UGH the music at the end makes me cry every time.

what is your favorite season of 5? 

Season 4 for SURE. Season 4 is when I jumped into MLP (yeah after the alicorn stuff). That felt like peak MLP to me. They hit their stride with the writing, the characters were well established but there were new challenges they had to face with Twilight being a princess and all (plus it was before the started catering more to their male audience). It’s also just very nostalgic for me being that it was the first season I kinda watched while being in the fandom.

who is your favorite couple in 3? 

Ooof hmm. TAWoG doesn’t reaaaally focus on ships all that much. I thoroughly enjoy Gumball and Penny’s relationship, and Carrie and Darwin are cute as hell. But I think I gotta Go with Nicole and Richard, especially after watching “The Choices”. I hate when shows portray marriages as awful and like the worst possible scenario. They make jokes about it but Nicole and Richard genuinely care for each other. I always think about the part in “The Fury” when Nicole is sad but Richard cheers her up in his own goofy way. So cute ;0;

what is your favorite episode of 1? 

I,,, have watched,,, Pokemon XY63 so many times you would not believe.  It’s a Jessie episode (obviously). Seeing her fall for this doctor and do a complete 180 in character was so funny but also gives insight into how desperately she just wants domesticity and to be loved. Seeing James and Meowth be supportive of her choice and letting her go hurts so gooood and the little sprinkled in “twerps offering to help jessie plan her wedding” was wholesome. 

I know I can only pick one but HHHHHH SAYONARA DOKUCALE MESSED ME UP. It was one of the first Pokémon episodes I had ever seen and I distinctly remember watching it in my Uncle and Aunt’s living room and SOBBING. Jessie backstory, a twerp truce AND a bitter sweet ending. GOOD STUUUUFFF

what is your favorite episode of 5? 

I always come back to Rarity Takes Manehattan (rarity’s my favorite fyi haha). I love love loved the songs, Suri Polomare for no reason is so funny to me LMAOOO. Rarity episodes where she has a creative breakdown, which is most of them, are super relatable haha. There was so much fun Tabitha St Germain acting and great animation. It’s not the most well written episode of MLP but I still very much enjoy it.

what is your favorite season of 2? 

This is really difficult bc Jimmy Neutron is just so consistent all the way through. I looked at a list of episodes and most of my favorites are in S2 so I guess that one! I remember watching a lot of these with my brother.

how long have you watched 1?

I’d seen episodes of Pokémon since like the early 2000s but didn’t start watching regularly until DP when me and my brother finally convinced our parents to let us watch it. I feel like we got into it around 2007/2008?

how did you become interested in 3? 

Oh god everything about it interested me! Gumball came out RIGHT when I was starting to seriously pursue animation as a career. So, the animation/mishmash of animation styles initially hooked me right away. But then the WRITING. Oh the WRITING is what kept me coming back. It was so smart and snappy and it greatly shaped my sense of humor.

who is your favorite actor in 4? 

SUSAN EGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! Literally the whole cast is incredible but Susan Egan’s voice is just,,,, WHEW!!!

which do you prefer: 1, 2, or 5?

This is the hardest question I’ve ever had to answer. I love each of these shows for such different reasons. But if I were put in a scenario where someone said “i’m gonna show you a random episode from one of these shows, which do you wanna watch?” I would pick Jimmy Neutron hands down.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would it be? 

I would be Sapphire I think. Just like vibing w my wife as a fusion sounds p dope.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? 

Well 4 did a crossover with Uncle Grandpa so yes absolutely. Plus Gumball is so meta anyways, it would work with generally anything.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?  

delia,,,, and,,,,, jessie

overall, which show has the best storyline: 3 or 5?

MLP for sure! Gumball is super episodic and started having continuity by the later seasons (and the storyline they were gonna have got CANCELLED so!!!!)

which has better theme music: 2 or 4? 

Jimmy Neutron is a classic but the fact that there is a full theme for SU and it made me cry when it was released at ComicCon is making me want to say SU lol.

I TAG YOU IF YOU SEE THIS!!!

[cctinsleybaxter]

2020 in books

2020 was a year of changed reading habits; people reading more than ever or not at all, some changing their tastes and others turning to old comforts. While there weren’t any huge overhauls on my end, more free time did mean a total of 32 in a wider range of genres. In the past couple of years I found a lot of the things I read to be kind of middling and ranked them accordingly, but this year had some strong contenders in the mix. With college officially behind me I love nonfiction again, and I really need to stop being drawn in by novels with long titles that ‘sound interesting.’ A piece of advice to my future self: they will only make you angry.

The Good

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky I loved the BBC radio play when I first listened to it back in 2017, but didn’t know if I could stomach the idea of actually reading the 700-page book, especially since I already knew the plot (spoiler alert: this had no effect and I gasped multiple times despite knowing what was going to happen; Fyodor’s just that good at atmosphere.) The story follows Prince Lev Myshkin, a goodhearted but troubled man entering 1860s Petersburg high society and meeting all of the wretched people therein as he navigates life, laughs, love, unanswerable questions of faith, and human suffering. I care about it in the same way I think other people care about reality TV shows and soap operas. I’m so personally invested in the drama and feel so many different emotions directed at these clowns that it’s like being a fan of Invitation to Love (with an ending equally upsetting to that of the show ITL is from, Twin Peaks.)

Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlanksy I adored this book. The first half reads a little like a Wikipedia article, and I was worried that it was leaning too clinical and would be disaffected with colonialism and indigenous peoples, but even that oversight is corrected for as the text goes on. It’s not going to be for everybody because it really is just the world’s longest encyclopedia entry on, well, salt, but it’s written with such excitement for the topic and is so well-researched and styled for commercial nonfiction that I think it deserves any and all praise it’s gotten. We have to talk about that time Cheshire was literally sinking into the ground, and companies who were over-pumping brine water to steal each other’s brine water said ‘no it’s okay it’s supposed to that’ so were legally dismissed as suspects.

Midnight Cowboy by James Leo Herlihy Cried. 10/10. The plot of Midnight Cowboy is very classic and actually has a lot in common with The Idiot, as 20-something Joe Buck moves from the American Southwest to NYC and meets myriad challenges as a sex worker. I’ve been obsessed with the movie for a few years now and the book made me appreciate it anew; I think it’s rare for an adaptation to take the risk of being so different from its source material while still capturing its spirit. The movie doesn’t include quieter moments like the full conversation with Towny or time spent in the X-flat, nor does it attempt to touch Joe’s internal monologue or his and Rico’s extensive backstories, but these things are essential to the book and are some of the best and most affecting writing I’ve ever read. Finally! The Great American Novel!

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones I would firmly like to say that this is probably the best horror novel ever written. The setup is very traditional in that it’s about a group of friends facing supernatural comeuppance for a past mistake, but delivery on that premise is anything but familiar. A story about personal and cultural trauma that raises questions about what we owe to each other and what it means to be Blackfeet, with a cast that’s unbelievably real and sympathetic even at their absolute worst. Creepypasta writers trying to cash in on the cultural mythos of lumped-together tribes wish they were capable of writing something a tenth as gruesome and good as this. It could very well be a movie the visuals and writing style were so arresting, and I can’t wait to read whatever Jones writes next.

Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas This is the least accessible title on the list since it’s a college textbook for people with background in film, but it was so nice to read a woman unpacking film theory with the expertise and confidence it deserves that I have to rank it among the best. I had an absolute blast reading it and am going to have to stop myself from bringing up the horror of 1960s safety films as a cocktail icebreaker.

Blood in the Water: The Attica Prison Uprising of 1971 and Its Legacy by Heather Ann Thompson

The year’s toughest read by far, but also its most rewarding. Thompson uses mountains of documents, government-buried intel, and personal interviews to explain what happened at Attica from beginning to end, and does a fantastic job of balancing hard facts and ‘unbiased journalism’ with much-needed emotion and critical analysis. It’s more important reading in the 2020s than any kind of ‘why/how to not be racist’ book club book is going to be, and the historical context it provides is as interesting as it is invaluable. The second half drags a bit in going through lengthy trial processes with some assumed baseline knowledge of legalese (which I did not have. All that criminal minds in 2015… meaningless), but aside from that editing and prose are some of the best I’ve seen in nonfiction. 

The Bad

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn A friend and I decided to read this together because I’m obsessed with how insane the author is and wanted to know if he can actually write.

He cannot.

The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All by Laird Barron Barron is an indie darling of the horror fiction scene, so I was excited to finally read one of his collections but can now attest that I hate him. If you’re going to do Lovecraft please deconstruct Lovecraft in an interesting way. I had actually written a lot about the issues I have with how he develops characters and plots, but one of the only shorthand notes I took was “he won’t stop saying ‘bole’ instead of tree trunk” and I feel like that’s the only review we need.

Bats of the Republic by Zach Dodson Look up a photo of this author because if I had bothered to glance at the jacket bio I honest-to-god wouldn’t have even tried reading this.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone I went in with high expectations since this is an epistolary novella I’d seen praised on tumblr and youtube but oh my god was there a reason I was seeing it praised on tumblr and youtube. This is bad Steven Universe fanfiction. Both authors included ‘listening to the Steven Universe soundtrack throughout’ in the acknowledgements, and to add insult to injury there’s a plug from my nemesis Madeline Miller.

The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton The premise of this one plays with so many tropes I like that I should have been more suspicious. It’s a dinner party with stock characters one would expect of Clue, and rather than our protagonist being the detective he’s a man with amnesia stuck in a 24-hour time loop. Body-hopping between guests, he must gather evidence using the skillsets of each ‘host’ until he either solves Evelyn Hardcastle’s murder or the limit of eight hosts runs out. I read a lot of not-very-good books, and it’s so, so much worse when they have potential to be fun. This is how you lose the most points, and how I abandon decorum and end up writing a list of grievances: • Our protagonist can only inhabit male hosts, which I think is a stupid writing decision not because I’m ‘woke’ but because wouldn’t it make sense for him to also be working with the maids, cooks, and women close to the murder victim? • Complaining about the limitations of hosts makes some sense (e.g- there’s a section where he thinks that it’s hard to be an old man because it’s difficult to get to the places he needs to be quickly), but one of his hosts is a rapist and one of his hosts is fat. Guess which one gets complained about more. • One of the later hosts is just straight-up a cop with cop knowledge that singlehandedly solves the case. We spend some time being like ‘wow I couldn’t have done it without the info all eight hosts helped gather’ but it was 100% the detective and he solves the murder using information he got off-screen. • The mystery itself is actually well-paced and I didn’t have a lot of issues with it (e.g, there’s a twist that I guessed only shortly before the end), which makes it all the worse that the metanarrative of this book is INSANE. No spoilers but the reveal as to why our unnamed protagonist is even in this situation is stupid. I just know they’re going to make it into a movie and I’m preemptively going to aaaaaaaaa!!!

Trust Exercise by Susan Choi The fact that this was the worst book I read all year, worse even than the bad Steven Universe fanfiction, and it won multiple awards makes my blood boil. I could rant about it for hours but just know that it’s a former theater kid’s take on perception and memory, and deals with sexual abuse in a way that’s handled both very badly and with a level of fake deepness that’s laughable. Select fake-deep quotes I copied down because at one point I said ‘oh barf’ aloud: -I’m filled with melancholy that’s almost compassion. It’s sad the same way. -[On a friendship ending] We almost never know what we know until after we know it. -Because we’re none of us alone in this world. We injure each other.

There are also bad sex scenes that I can’t quite make fun of because I think (HOPE?) they’re supposed to be a melodramatic take on how teenagers view sex, but I very much wanted to die. Flowers were alluded to. Nipples were compared to diamonds.

Honorable/Dishonorable Mentions (categorized as the same thing because, well,)

The Life and Death of Sophie Stark by Anna North This book was frustrating because the first third of it is fantastic. It’s set up to be a takedown of the manic pixie dream girl trope, jumping from person to person discussing their relationship with the titular Sophie, and indirectly revealing that she was just some girl and not the difficult and mysterious genius they all believed her to be. Then in the third act, BAM! She was that difficult and mysterious genius and she’s now indirectly brought all the people from her past together. I wanted to scream the plot beefed it so bad, but the good news is I really liked this octopus description.

It was the size of a three-year-old child, and it seemed awful to me that something could be so far from human and obviously want something as badly as it wanted to get out of the tank.

Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore Cool new nightmare speedrun strat is to hear a 2-second anecdote from a documentary that people used to get radium poisoning from painting watch faces, be curious enough that you buy a book to learn more, and be met with medical and legal horror beyond anything you could have imagined. This was almost one of my favorite books of the year! Almost.

Radium Girls is very lovingly crafted and incredibly well-researched; one of those things that’s hard to get through but that you want to read sections of again as soon as you’ve finished. The umbrage I take with it is that it’s very Catholic. The author and many of her subjects are Irish and their religion is important to them, but it casts a martyr-y narrative over the whole thing that I found uncomfortable. Seventeen-year-old girls taking a factory job they didn’t know was dangerous are framed as brave, working-class heroes, but there’s not a set moral lesson to be gained from this story. Sarah Maillefer didn’t make “a sacrifice” when she agreed to the first radium tests, she agreed because she was terrified. She didn’t think she was helping she was begging for help.

The Mushroom at the End of the World: On the Possibility of Life in Capitalist Ruins by Anna Tsing Tsing is an incredibly skilled researcher and ethnographer; there are so many good ideas in this book that I’d almost consider it essential leftist text… if I could stand the way it was structured. Tsing posits that because nature is built on precariousness she will build her book the same way, allowing it to grow like a mushroom, and thus chapters don’t progress linearly and are written more like freeform poetry than a series of academic arguments. Some people are really going to love that, but I’m me and a mushroom is a mushroom and a book is a book. I don’t think in the way Tsing does, and while I tried to keep an open mind it’s hard to play along when something is this academically dense and makes so many ambitious claims. As if to prove how different our structuring methods are, I’ve made my own thoughts into a pros and cons list

Things I liked: • ‘Contamination’ as something inherent to diversity • ‘Scalability’ as a flawed way of thinking (Tsing has written whole essays about this that I find very compelling, but a main example here is that China and the US have come down on Japanese matsutake research for being too ‘site specific’ and not yielding enough empirical data) • Discussing how Americans were so invested in self-regulating systems in the 1950s we thought they could be applied to literally everything, including ecosystems • “The survivors of war remind us of the bodies they climbed over- or shot- to get to us. We don’t know whether to love or hate the survivors. Simple moral judgements don’t come to hand.” • Any and all fieldwork Tsing shares is amazing; I especially liked reading about the culture of mushroom pickers living in the Cascades and their contained market system

Things I didn’t like: • Statements that sound deep but aren’t, e.g- “help is always in the service of another.” (Yep. That’s what that means. Unless an organism is doing something to help itself which then nullifies your whole opening argument.) • A very debatable definition of utilitarianism • “Capitalism vs pre-capitalism,” which seems like an insanely black-and-white stance for a book all about finding hidden middle ground • A chapter I found really interesting about how intertwined Japanese and American economies are, but it tries to cover the entire history of US-Japan relations. Seriously, starting with Governor Perry and continuing through present day, this could have been a whole different book and it’s a good example of what I mean when I say arguments feel too scattered (the conclusion it reaches is that in the 80s the yen was finally able to hold its own against the dollar. Just explain that part.) • A chapter arguing that ‘true biological mutualism’ is rarely a focus of STEM and is a new sociological development/way of thinking which is just… flat-out not true

For all the comparisons art gets to ‘being on a drug trip’ this anthropology textbook has come the closest for me. Moments of profound human wisdom, intercut with things I had trouble understanding because I wasn’t on the same wavelength, intercut with even more things that felt false or irrelevant. I can’t put it on the nice list but I am glad I read it.

[oliviacs]

『 candice king. thirty. cis female. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that OLIVIA JAMES from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BOSSY & -STUBBORN. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool OWNER OF THE PASTRY PLACE and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +LOYAL & +CARING. i hope i see them around again!  @mapleviewstarters​​

hehehehe here i go again  ! ! 💕 tbh i really felt like we needed at least  /one/  semi-wholesome muse here with happy domestic vibes so may i present to u my 2nd baby  💕  

basics ;;

FULL NAME:  olivia marie james  NICKNAMES:  liv , livvie  AGE: thirty DATE OF BIRTH (ZODIAC):  march 24th ( aries ) BIRTHPLACE:  mapleview, nc. OCCUPATION: owner of the pastry place  POSITIVE TRAITS:  loyal , caring , organized , valiant  NEGATIVE TRAITS:  bossy , stubborn , workaholic , control freak  MUSE INSPO: monica geller ( friends ) , haley james scott ( one tree hill ) , caroline forbes ( vampire diares ) , lorelai gilmore ( gilmore girls ) , prue halliwell ( charmed ) , amy santiago ( brooklyn nine-nine ) , leslie knope ( parks & recreation ) , claire dunphy ( modern family ) , dorothy zbornak ( golden girls )  LOVES:   coffee,  pastries , red wine, celine dion, cooking, movies, rain showers, scented candles, cold beer, people who make her laugh, corny pick-up lines, cinnamon hot chocolate, romantic gestures, sunrises and sunsets, bikram yoga, old disney movies, french fries, cuddling and hugging, being in charge, honesty, football, 80s music HATES:  being kept out of the loop or nor knowing stuff, liars and cheaters, anyone who hurts those she cares about, when people are in her kitchen and don’t need to be, oatmeal raisin cookies, feeling weak or helpless, death and funerals, secrets

background ;; tw:death

olivia has always been the quintessential girl next door during her youth and adolescence. born & raised in mapleview in a family who , for the most part , got along , she truly didn’t have a bad childhood. sure , they were never rich but they never truly lacked anything. 

for twelve years that she attended school , she was fairly popular , kept good grades  &  unlike her older sister that was a polar opposite , actually was a nice girl . 

howeveeeer , she was never short on spunk & wit despite the fact she “ played by the rules “  basically all her life. while she was always homely & friendly , she was also the girl that cut her hair short as a statement against femininity & only wore heels because she hated to feel small. 

along the time when she finished high school , she decided to use her college fund to travel outside her little hometown  &  see places until she eventually decided to enroll herself in a cooking/baking class & take over the pastry place from her grandma. 

however, tragedy struck when her older sister passed away , leaving the family in a total wreck - especially her niece penelope. since then , liv has always kept her close , kind of taking a role of her older sister. 

currently still lives in mapleview , is happily ( one of those annoyingly cute couples u love but hate at the same time ) married to the love of her life for about 7 years now , has a beautiful daughter named emma who just turned 4 , owns a ( new ) family house in fair lane ( moved from saycamore way ) , also owns a golden retriever called sammy ( american cliche what can i say )   &&&  is about eight months pregnant with ANOTHER baby girl !  

cute headcanons that we love ;;

i’m not gonna lie she’s totally based off monica geller from friends & i regret nothing y’all. 

also huge coffee addict ( surprise , right ? lol )  &  has insane amounts daily . probably smells of freshly made coffee everyday ksdfneg.

her leg shakes or her foot taps on the ground when she’s stressed. 

wears glasses for reading or when she needs to handle paperwork.

cleans when frustrated !!!! 

she’s the mom friend of every group so .... probably has a ton of people over every friday where she always cooks more than necessary. 

doesn’t tolerate nonsense & is quick to give you a smartypants comment to a stupid question heh

really ,  reaaaally affectionate with her loved ones . 

likes to sleep in her husband’s shirts ??? i mean who could blame her right

does not take too well to criticism or admitting she’s in the wrong 

famous lines include  “ you did not just say that “  &  “ i told you so “ 

can do her makeup even drunk ;))

still cries like a baby when mufasa dies & susan forgets about narnia

likes having a glass of wine every night before bed to calm her nerves lmao

goes crazy during superbowl season bc ..... she’s a hc football fan

a total mamma bear  &  will hurt you if you hurt her family.

extremely competitive in .... p much anything 

wanted connections that i’ll just give u my heart & soul for ok ;; 

childhood best friend aka the rachel to her monica !! <3 

a group of  FRIENDS  ( see what i did there rfneg ) give me ross , phoebe , joey & chandler ! <33

neighbors that often barbecue together on the weekends  

friends & enemies from school / high school 

maybe her first love ??  like a guy she dated when she was 14  & it was totally cute n innocent 

frenemies , coworkers , protective friendship , sibling like friendship , unfaithful friends , babysitter , unlikely friends , friends who used to be enemies , ex best friends , friends who balance each other out , competition , rivarly , friends by association , family friends , her husband’s friends :))  

[perfectlymarilynmonroe]

I just watched a video of CNN of 2001 with a whole panel of stars including Tony Curtis and James Haspiel and I was quite shocked at Haspiel believing the conspiracy theory, of all people. I’m also wondering how much of what he says can be accounted for? I know Spotto says MM and Joe were to remarry but Haspiel strongly denied it saying DiMag was violent again after they reconciled in the 60s and there’s no way she’d remarry him. Seems no one can agree on any facts?

Hi ! I’m not a huge Haspiel fan because, let’s be honest, he was a FAN. He wasn’t a close friend, I’d say he was barely a close acquaintance. He followed her around everywhere and because she was kind to all of her fans, she obliged in autographs, posing for pictures, and light chatter. I will give him some latitude in that Marilyn was very down to earth and loved talking with her fans, and after seeing him for nearly 6-7 years, I’m sure they developed a close fan type of relationship. 

I think he exaggerated a lot in his book and continued to do so in interviews. Once, I was reading through old newspaper articles and I found that he copied a story that was published in 1955/56, by writing that he experienced the same thing - sometimes Marilyn would deny she was Marilyn or that she was another star if a fan recognized her while she was in a hurry - it was almost word for word. When I caught him in that, I kind of lost my trust in him. 

He also exploited his “relationship” with Marilyn by publishing 3 books and being paid for numerous appearances on television. The members of the Monroe Six, and other fans, did not. In an article, I read that Frieda Hull told a friend she would never sell—her photos or memories—Marilyn out. That is also why the “hidden pregnancy” pictures is a fake story [click here].

I just want to make clear that I’m not saying he’s an unreliable source. I just wouldn’t take what he says word for word, especially just because the two met. I don’t think his intentions are bad; he does care for Marilyn and obviously has some amazing memories, but he wasn’t a part of her inner circle. I also want to say that not everyone who knew Marilyn and wrote a book exploited her - her sister, friend, Norman Rosten, Susan Strasberg - but they were friends/family. This is just my opinion, though!

Since he was a huge fan, he does know a lot, but I’d compare his knowledge to that of myself, other fans, biographers, etc. He didn’t know her intimately enough to know any more than anyone else at that time or even during this time. As I said, he has some terrific memories, but the only difference is that he met Marilyn on numerous occasions. As much as I wish I had met, hugged, spent time with Marilyn, with my connection to her and my knowledge it’s like I have. ♡

With all of that being said, there is no proof Joe was violent towards Marilyn in the 1960s. I agree with Haspiel that the likelihood of Marilyn re-marrying him would probably be unlikely. They both said, even in the 60s, they were better friends than husband/wife because their views on marriage were completely different they had different living habits.

He was a great friend to her and she leaned on him for much of 1961 because she wanted to. They hadn’t seen each other from 1955-December 1960, so there was no reason Marilyn needed to reach back out to him other than the fact she wanted to. Some have said that his sending her Christmas poinsettias in December 1960 is an obvious sign of abusive and control, that he was manipulating her into calling her because, as he told her, he knew she could call to thank him. He was in love with her - of course, he wanted her to call - but that doesn’t mean she was forced to keep him in her life after Christmas 1960. Obviously, I wasn’t there, but Marilyn was much stronger and clear-minded than she is given credit for. 

True, she often was dependant on others for support, help, and advice, but she also had a strong head on her shoulders. What’s rarely talked about is her incredible strength, especially in 1962. She was starting to really control who was in her life and their roles in her life. She was not a pushover - like everyone, she had experiences of that - but she gained controlled or who she wanted in and out of her life.

I’m sorry this answer was so long, but I haven’t answered questions about James Haspiel/60s Marilyn and Joe and I wanted to be thorough. :]

[imagitory]

hmm, how about an au where the dursley's don't treat harry horribly but there's like, still some obvious tension? like idk, maybe aunt petunia is more prominent here due to her weird relationship with the wizarding world and her sister

Hmm…let’s see…

1) Back in 1980, Lily not only wrote Petunia a letter about Harry’s birth, but asked to speak to Petunia about something very serious. Petunia, naturally, purposefully ignored the letter and its request. Lily was hurt by the rejection and considered writing another letter, but James instead decided to speak to Petunia himself. When James showed up on the Dursleys’ doorstep, Vernon angrily tried to eject him from the premises, but James stood his ground and kept his temper as best as he was able. “Petunia, listen to me,” he urged her, “Lily is scared for your safety – we all are! She wants you to know what’s happening in the Wiz – our world, so you and your family will be safe! I know you hate magic, but I know you want your family to be safe, just as much as we do! If you don’t want to talk to me, I get it, but…just hear Lily out! Please!” Several days later, Petunia decided to meet with Lily. The two rode their respective children in their prams to the visit, and Petunia laid eyes upon Harry for the first time. Lily told her about Voldemort’s rise and her and James’s work with the Order. Although the two sisters still were very different people, Petunia was startled by the level of concern and genuine love Lily expressed for her and, despite herself, came to realize that Lily had never seen her sister in that “second place” category that her parents might have. Lily offered to place protective enchantments on the Dursley home, which Petunia refused, but Petunia didn’t reject Lily’s offer to stay in touch and even asked her to be careful.

2) This unfinished bridge toward reconciliation made it so that when Harry lost his parents and were sent to the Dursleys, Petunia at least felt immense guilt and obligation toward raising Harry for Lily’s sake. Vernon resented Harry immensely and Petunia still subconsciously favored her own son and distrusted Harry’s magic, but she still treated him like family. Petunia insisted on giving Harry the smaller of the two bedrooms upstairs (because Harry was always smaller than Dudley, and thus needed less room), and taught Harry to keep his “oddities” to himself so he could fit in with Dudley and his friends. Rather than Harry being hidden from everyone’s view, Petunia merely tried to make Harry appear and act perfectly normal. Vernon, who hated magic even more than Petunia, would insist on Harry being “normal” too, in the misguided thought that they could “stamp the magic out of him.” Harry would always know deep inside of himself, though, that he was not normal, and would get frustrated about Petunia and Vernon trying to tamp him down all the time.

3) Because Dudley would know about Harry’s “oddities” and Petunia would feel more of a flawed overprotectiveness toward both children, Dudley would grow up thinking he had to “keep Harry out of trouble,” and so would likewise try to follow both of his parents’ examples, giving Harry a hard time for “acting weird” and making up lies around the kids and teachers in school to try to cover them up. Dudley would still be “the golden boy” of the family, but less explicitly – it would be more insinuated in how Vernon would always compare Harry unfavorably to Dudley or in how Petunia would use Dudley as a positive example. This would prompt some resentment in Harry toward Dudley, but Dudley himself would only see it as him doing what his mother wanted him to do, which was to look after his cousin. Their relationship would sour dramatically when Harry started attending Hogwarts, as Dudley would hate that Harry rejected all of the “help” and “protection” he and his parents had given him throughout the years and Harry would be fed up with Dudley acting like he wasn’t ashamed of him and trying to make him conform just to make things easier for him. Nonetheless both boys would still feel some lingering familial affection for each other, since they grew up together and were in a way each other’s first friend, even if the friendship was unhealthy. It would be that affection that would fuel Harry to rescue Dudley from a dementor in his fifth year and that would prompt Dudley to completely reform himself by Harry’s sixth year, becoming thoroughly versed in Wizarding culture so as to better support Harry, much to his parents’ dismay. Eventually Petunia became more accepting of Dudley’s involvement in the Wizarding World, but only to the extent that she would ask the bare minimum of questions to get by – if she didn’t need to know something, she’d purposefully ignore anything magical in her general vicinity. Vernon meanwhile would often turn purple with anger and go very quiet whenever anything magical was brought up at all.

4) When Harry received his Hogwarts letter, Petunia and Vernon initially tried to conceal it from him, but upon Harry snatching hold of the letter and reading it, Petunia tried to persuade Harry to reject the invitation. After all, they’d planned that Harry and Dudley were already going to Smeltings together, right? Didn’t Harry want to go to school with Dudley? It’d be awfully inconvenient to return Harry’s school uniform and remove him from the school’s roster so abruptly. Harry felt the pressure to reject the invitation, but couldn’t accept it – he tried to persuade Petunia that it might be easier for him to keep his “weirdness” under wraps if he knew how to control it, but that argument went nowhere. After not receiving any reply for multiple weeks, Professor McGonagall paid the Dursleys a visit herself, in person. When she came to call, Vernon ordered Harry and Dudley to stay in their rooms upstairs and not make a sound until they came to get him. Dudley and Harry, however, disobeyed Vernon and crept out to the landing to listen in, where he heard the Dursleys talking to McGonagall, insisting that Harry didn’t want to go to their school and that he would be attending school with his cousin, as was proper. The meeting had been cold but relatively calm until McGonagall brought up James and Lily – the memory of her deceased younger sister brought out such a teary rage from Petunia that she ordered McGonagall to get out and to never come near her family again. McGonagall bringing up Harry’s parents, however, made Harry come downstairs at last. “You knew my parents?” he croaked, staring at McGonagall. Petunia and Vernon both tried to force Harry back upstairs, but McGonagall and Harry both ignored them, solely focusing on each other even as Dudley watched them apprehensively from the door frame. McGonagall stared at Harry, a slight shine in her eyes despite her severe face, and she said, “…Yes.” Even though Petunia was kinder to him in this version of events, she still almost never discussed her sister or her brother-in-law – the most Harry had ever gleaned was that they were also “odd” like him, and that they’d been killed by an evil man with similar powers. The thought of someone actually knowing them – of having liked them – was one Harry had always hoped might be real. Petunia and Vernon once again tried to throw McGonagall out of the house, but this time, Harry interjected, “I want to go. I want to go to Hogwarts.” The decision horrified all of the Dursleys, Dudley included, but McGonagall smiled proudly, saying that if Petunia and Vernon simply dropped him off in London that Friday, the Hogwarts gameskeeper, Hagrid, would be happy to escort him to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies.

5) Because of the shift in dynamic between Harry and Petunia, which resulted in him not being neglected and abused but prompted him to see his magic as a burden and something to hide, Harry is less starved for affection and more interested in following his own path, screw the haters. Therefore, when the Sorting Hat was placed on his head, it considered the mind it was reading very carefully, before finally shouting, “SLYTHERIN!” The Boy Who Lived – still a brave, hot-blooded, selfless young man – was Sorted into the same house as his schoolyard enemy, his mother’s ex-best friend, and worst of all the man who had killed his parents. Rather than treating his placement as an obstacle, however, Harry shrugged it off: he’d already been sort of held at arm’s length all the time back in Muggle school because of his magic, so being treated with suspicion was something he was used to. At least here he could actually do magic without being shunned for it! Instead he merely stayed true to himself, casually shrugging off his house’s negative reputation and falling back on his usual level of sass when he was down. His good humor, determination, courage, and noble heart resulted in him making many friends, including Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Theodore Nott, and Millicent Bulstrode. Even Draco Malfoy, who Harry still disliked immensely, eventually became a bizarre frienemy, not just because of their shared house and them being on the same Quidditch team, but also the faint similarities Harry noted between Draco and his cousin Dudley. Snape would still resent Harry quite a bit, but in Harry’s later years, Petunia would finally open up a bit to Harry about Lily’s and her past, and he’d learn from her about Snape’s connection to Lily. After she opened up, Harry rather kindly opened up about his experiences with Snape at school, and upon hearing about Snape’s bullying, Petunia went full-on Mama Bear and wrote Snape ten very long, mean letters, including one very loud Howler that Dudley helped her figure out how to use, which arrived in the Great Hall in Harry’s sixth year and screamed at Snape about how ashamed Lily would’ve been of him. Harry was very embarrassed about the whole episode, even if he felt some faint schadenfreude at how beside himself Snape looked. The flood of letters did temper Snape somewhat, however, and made him treat Harry with nothing but distant silence for the rest of the school year.

AU Ask!