#all japanese women do is be stinky

[tessied]

I'm currently doing the readings for a class and one of the books is a collection of European missionaries first accounts of Japan in the 16th century, and some of these points are so abhorrent. God forbid Japanese women do makeup and dye their hair.

[seyoonlgc]

HEAVEN. @lgcxsarang

This workshop was the best! Each time Seyoon looked up from his Japanese notes, he saw a lovely girl.

"Good morning, Sarang!" Seyoon greeted smoothly in Japanese. He was improving slowly but surely, and the basic phrases were beginning to feel natural on his tongue. "What a beautiful day we are having." He skipped to the window, humming as he opened it to let in some fresh air.

After his eventual debut, he probably won't have workshops like this anymore. He'd be stuck with the same few stinky men at all times and no longer have the opportunity to worship the ethereal beauty of the female trainees. Sure, guys were capable of being good-looking too, but women just hit differently.

Like, could he just debut with the girls? No? Fine, fine, he'll just really treasure this workshop opportunity then.

"Do you..." Seyoon searched his brain for the right words. Sarang was shy and he didn't want to scare her off. Therefore, he was trying to come up with a light, happy topic of discussion...in Japanese. "Want to see...um...stray cats...at my part-time...chicken job." In the end, he decided to just present her with his phone. After getting off work last night, he got surrounded by the strays in the area and snapped a couple of pictures. For strays, those felines were pretty damn photogenic.

[pikkubang]

AOT (SNK) HEADCANONS

What their favorite curse words are or which ones they would use in a modern setting. -Includes the Warriors ofc ^^-

TRIGGER WARNING: you guessed it. Curse words and mentions of slur usage (slurs not included ofc).

Eren (S1-3): he would definitely go with the usual “fuck” and “bitch” but have an unhealthy obsession with words related to balls that everyone hates and makes Mikasa give him dirty looks every time he says one.

“Bro you fucking piece of shit, I swear I will kick you in those fucking hairy bollocks you call a face”

Eren (S4): this man just says the most offensive slurs (unprovoked and with no visible emotions) that make the entire room go QUIET.

Mikasa: doesn’t curse too often, but when she does, she mostly uses some Japanese curse words that she picked up from her mother, such as:

“くそ! (kuzo!)”: meaning “fuck!”

“ちくしょう (chikushō)”: meaning “oh shit”

“わるがき (warugaki)”: meaning “brat”. Mostly used towards Eren when she is annoyed.

Fair to say that she doesn’t shout them, she just says them in a low voice.

Armin: we all know it’s really unlikely that he’ll ever insult anyone during an argument, but for some reason i feel that he enjoys to say things like “holy guacamole!” when he stubs his toe in the couch and stuff like that djdjdjhs

Sasha: loves weird word combinations and long curse words to say at any given moment such as: “what in the mother geewillikers’ bazooka trunk is that?!?”

No one really knows how she comes up with these.

Connie: DEFINITELY uses stinky and ass way too much.

“Hey Connie, yo mama-“

“LISTEN YOU STINKY ASS MOTHE-“

Jean: is the one who actually makes the “yo mama” jokes to Connie ALL the time. He likes to get creative.

“Hey Connie, yo mama so fat that Thanos had to snap twice”

“Hey Connie, yo mama’s forehead so big that she can make a pita out of sourdough bread by giving it a headbutt”

Historia: on a daily basis, she uses refined curse words to refer to the people that she dislikes, such as “bastard”, “miserable”, “wretched” and such, but OH- we all know that when she’s either comfortable or really mad she can say (and probably knows) more curse words than everyone in the troops combined.

Ymir: she just needs cursing to live and most of her sentences consist of phrases with random curse words intertwined into every single one of them. Special mention to “shit” because she likes it a lot and most things that aren’t related to Historia are just “shitty” to her.

“I SWEAR TO GOD REINER YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICKHEAD! STAY AWAY FROM HISTORIA”

Erwin: oh, our good suburban dad Erwin. He really likes “bloody hell” and will throw random dammits at small inconveniences like “staining” his shirt with a little bit of coffee or a pen falling from his desk.

Levi: he will for sure call everyone an “asshole” because he simply thinks everyone is. Period. He doesn’t care who you are. To him, everyone is just a “stupid asshole that doesn’t deserve his time and effort”.

Yes. He learned this word from Kenny. Now cry.

Hange: they absolutely love researching funny and currently unused curse words on the internet just for the laughs. Hange doesn’t really feel the need to curse at everything and everyone, but will randomly throw some of the ones they learned when everyone is angry and cursing to just “get in the mood”.

Ymir: “he’s just shitty, I guess…”

Connie: “JUST SHITTY? HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS”

Hange, passing by: “zooterkins! he sounds like a zounderkite. Did you two know that is the victorian word for idiot?” *laughs and leaves*

Reiner: his favorites were “son of a bitch”, “motherfucker” and “whore”, and he mainly used them to insult fellow men when he was at Paradis. Now that he’s back in Marley, he just doesn’t have the energy/tries to avoid doing it for the kids.

Bertholdt: my good man right here would never insult anyone but himself when he is frustrated (which mostly happens in his mind, of course), but sometimes, when he says these things out loud, they’re like:

“Come on Bertholdt you’re such an idiot!”

“Dumb. I am dumb. Goodbye”. *storms off in tiny anger*

Annie: is definitely beyond basic “rat kid insults” (in her words) like “pussy”, anything to do with balls, “whateverfucker” and randomly saying “fuck” or “shit” in every sentence, so she usually goes with the useful basic when needed:

“Fuck off”. Yep, that is definitely a favorite.

Pieck: definitely knows how to curse properly but chooses not to, so don’t be fooled. She might look soft, and she is. But she has also been on too many missions with too many soldiers and definitely knows way more insults and jargon than you.

She doesn’t really have a favorite one, though. She just enjoys the looks on people’s faces when she lets them know that she understood every single word that they said and that “calling her a “carechimba hija de su puta madre” won’t suffice”.

Yelena: will straight up HEX you in russian and occasionally bring up some slurs💀. I know, I’m sorry Yelena but we all know it’s true ㅠㅠ

Zeke: this man is still -sadly- not over “balls and penis curse words”, so you can imagine for yourself what his common expressions are and how he goes from “ballsack sucker” to whatever sounds like it.

Porco: uses the classical “fuck”, “shit”, “bitch” and so on, but additionally tries to incorporate curse words or even slurs that he doesn’t know how to use or what they mean and their implications, only to be met by Pieck’s stare seconds later; and you guessed it: she usually has to explain to him what they mean and why he shouldn’t be using them.

Falco: will mostly say those weird “filtered bad words” that are children-safe, such as “fudge nuggets!” and “snickerdoodle!”, but you cannot tell me that Gabi hasn’t taught him the actual stuff and he secretly uses “shit” on the internet and some others slip out when he’s playing with his friends and gets mad at Gabi for cheating.

Gabi: knows the entire classic curse word dictionary. Occasionally uses slurs pretending she didn’t know that she couldn’t say them.

One day, she called Falco a “piece of pixelated b*kk*ke” because she heard it somewhere and thought it meant “shit”, so Pieck had to step in and age-appropriately explain that it was something that “bad men did to punish women in Japan and that it was not funny at all”. Gabi never said it again.

Casually picked up “suka” from Yelena because she thought it sounded funny.

[nessinborderland]

H&L Boys Scents

Because your most recent Murayama drabble about cuddling and smelling good was so cute, it led to our conversation about the boys and their scents.  Taking it one step further…

Murayama looks like he smells good. I imagine a soft boyish scent.  I’m thinking something a kid shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch would pick up.  Like, an over-priced mall cologne for teenagers.  He’s the youngest out of the SWORD gang after all, and technically still a high schooler (even though he’s at least 20 years old).

I bet Cobra smells amazing, but I think he’s more of a sharp-scented practical aftershave kind of guy.  Just a low-maintenance splash after his morning shave.  Although I wonder, can he even grow enough facial hair to shave with that babyface of his?  I guess he can still slap it on even if he doesn’t shave.

Rocky probably also smells fantastic because he’s all about a dignified exterior as a service to women.  That’s why he insists on all of his gang members spending a fortune on dry cleaning! He seems like a higher-end eau de toilette kind of man to me.  Something luxurious and manly. He’s a nightclub owner, and he’s got money to drop on such things.  Only the best for his women.

Unfortunately, I can’t see Smoky smelling good in particular.  He probably smells neutral at best.  He has to spend money on food and necessities for his family.  He’s not going to spend any money on frivolous things like perfume!  No, I think he smells musty like Mumeigai (Nameless City) where he lives or dusty like the underground mines he works in.  Poor boy, he probably tries his best to stay clean, but you can only do so much in such conditions.

I love Hyuga so much, but sadly, I’m sure he also won’t smell particularly delicious either most of the time.  He’s a “man’s man”, if you know what I mean.  So, he isn’t spending his time on beautification.  He’s smoking and drinking, and you can smell it.  Although I’d say, since he likes Japanese traditions, he probably enjoys a soak in the tub each night and frequently going to visit an onsen (a Japanese bathhouse and/or hot springs).  Fresh out of the bath is when you’d want to catch him because that’s when he smells fresh and yummy.  Even then, he’ll only smell like soap and skin.  No frills for this man.

***Bonus info about these guys and their stank:

The boys of SWORD are all presumably of Japanese ethnicity.  Because most East Asians lack the gene that produces stinky underarm odor common in other races, even after a hard sweaty fight, these boys are likely minimally stinky.  Lucky us, our favorite boys don’t get too rank!

------

OMG I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING ON THIS! Men that smell good are so yummy I could actually eat them. Imo Cobra and Rocky smell the best, I would love to sniff them in a moderate non creepy way.

[wherearemyglassesbro]

Het/alia men and their subway/tube etiquette

Yao: Yao minds his own business and is an unproblematic king on the subway. He is quiet and just scrolls through Instagram pages for fishtanks. He has mastered the art of not caring about what other people are doing and he lives like that day to day. He’s 1000 years old he doesn’t give a shit anymore

Alfred: He’s respectful and helpful! But he’s loud. He talks on the phone, crinkles wrappers, plays games with the volume on. He’s just annoying lmao but that isn’t really news to anyone. He also doesn’t enjoy taking the subway so if he has a friend traveling with him, he’ll gripe about how hot or stinky or sticky it is the whole way to the next stop. He doesn’t make friends on the subway, thats for sure

Francis: This man does not mind his own business. He evesdrops on everyone and isn’t very discreet in doing so. He pretends to be texting or whatever but that won’t last long, he’ll just end up staring at whoever he’s listening to. He can also be pretty rude on the train honestly. God forbid someone steps on his shoes or bumps into him, they’ll get the nastiest glare omg. Public transport isn’t fun as it is, don’t get on his bad side

Matt: Very respectful at all times. You want to sit down? He’ll move. You need help navigating the subway? He’s more than happy to point you in the right direction! Your baby is crying? He’ll offer to stand in front of you so people don’t glare your way. He’s just a nice guy all around!

Sadik: He will give up his seat to pregnant women or elderly people but otherwise he won’t budge. He’ll chat on the phone loudly, take up space while sitting, eat, anything loud really. He’s very annoying on public transport cause he doesn’t have an inside voice. He’s also just a big guy who takes up a lot of space as it is! And now he’s manspreading? No one can sit next to him lmao

Hercules: He would move to give others his seat but he just isn’t as socially aware as some of the other nations. He’ll be watching videos on his phone or be staring off into space while trying to stay awake. He just won’t notice thst the train’s full lmao poor guy

Lovino: He will ALWAYS stand up to let women have his seat!! He is a gentleman after all. If it’s a man? No way. He won’t move for a man unless he’s elderly. He’ll sit with his legs open to take up as much space as he can but this bitch is only like 5’5 so he isn’t that intimidating. It’s like when a chihuahua puffs out it’s chest to look bigger....nah...you’re not fooling anyone. He’s very respectful on the train though, he does quiet activities like reading or texting but he will 100% evesdrop on you

Ludwig: He’s another guy who just minds his own business. He stands the whole time even if there are available seats and he just reads emails the entire time. (He changes his settings to Japanese or Russian when he reads emails so others can’t read over his shoulder!). He assists others only if they express that they need help but I mean....other than that, he’s just doing his own thing. Very pleasant to travel with

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

ii.xxvii.

"We don't have to go there. Everyone would understand." Jaehyun stroked your shoulders while you standing in front of the mirror and putting on your earrings. "No, it's been two weeks and I think it's good to go under people again." You smile and turn to your husband to kiss him. You lay gently your hands over his neck and he brushed over your hips. "You look great." He smiled as you released your kiss and stared at your body. "Yes, my little ball is gone. It feels strange." You stroke the middle of your body. It was so weird, you thought so long that a life grew inside you again and now it was just gone. Your body forms back and everything was as before. "I'm a little worried about you and about the party." Jaehyun took your hands away from your stomach and kissed your fingers. But you smile. "It's really everything fine. I have you and two beautiful and healthy children." That day was the Gender Reveal Party of Johanna and Johnny. She was now over the 5th month and now they could finally get to know the gender. You are really looking forward to the celebration because a new baby in the group is sure for every one good.

"Y/N, I'm so glad you came." Johanna hugged you, although it was getting a lot more difficult. Her stomach was relatively large and bumped against your stomach. "And what's your tip. Boy or girl?" You smile and stroke her belly. "It has to be a boy, right? I mean it has to be a little Johnny because the baby is already so big." She laughed and put her hands behind her back. "Can I eat the cake?" Miga had spotted something to eat and of course, it was something sweet. "It's for later." Johnny tried to explain this to the little girl, but she wasn't happy with the answer. "Daddy, I'm so hungry. Please. I want to eat the cake now." She turned away from Johnny and pulled on her father's pants. "No, you have to listen to Johnny." She didn't like that either and she pouted and started crying. Jaehyun rolled his eyes and picked up his daughter. "We're having a bit of a problem with her right now. She's pretty defiant and doesn't eat anything except candy right now." Then he turned away and pulled himself into a corner so that Miga calmed down again. "We still have cookies somewhere." Johanna just wanted to help, but you shake your head. "No please. We have to try to get her used to normal food somehow again." You look at your husband who was talking to Miga. Her tears dried slowly and she nodded understandably, then they came back. Jaehyun kissed your cheek when he was with you again. 

By now you were in the living room. Johanna had lovingly decorated everything and it was a real party. There were little games and you could guess the gender. "What do you think? Boy or girl?" You look at Jaehyun and he thinks for a moment. "It's probably a boy. Johanna's stomach is huge. With Miga, you had a much smaller belly." Jaehyun wrote on the card boy and threw it into the pot. "Every woman is different. Before I was pregnant with Miga, I was still athletic. So, I guess a girl." You smile and also throw your tip into the pot. You already wanted to turn around, but you notice how Jaehyun stared at you. "Have I something on my face?" You put your strand of hair behind your ear, but he took your hand and kissed you. "It's good to see you smile again." Jaehyun kissed you again and you put your hands over his shoulders. You have never been as close to him as at the last moment. And as perverse as it sounded, the miscarriage brought you closer together. "Take your baby, I think something stinky has slipped into his pants." Yuta came to you with Sunoh on his arm. "Oh, a child suits you well. When are you going to scatter your seeds?" Jaehyun laughed as you roll your eyes and taking Sunoh to you. "No. I don't think that's my thing. I see myself more as a bachelor." Yuta laughed, but Jaehyun looked at him in surprise. A few months ago his girlfriend Shiori had left him. She was a Japanese model who worked in Korea for a while. But one day she was gone without saying anything. Yuta’s heart was still broken and now he distracted himself with other women. But Jaehyun knew that it wasn't him and that he was actually hurt. "Are you all coming? We would start now." Johnny called everyone together and he and his fiancé stood in front of a box. Everyone was excited. Miga also sat on Mark's lap and ate cookies that she could somehow sneak upon. You had given up took away the sweets at this celebration. Miga dominated everyone perfectly with her big googly eyes. "Are you ready?" Johnny put his hand on the lid with Johanna. Jaehyun put his arm around you as you stare at it. "Everything okay?" Jaehyun realized that you were not doing very well. But you just nod and hug your baby tight. Sunoh clawed at your dress with his fingers and you enjoy his warmth and the typical baby scent they had. But somehow you get anxious and everything around you becomes blurred. Johnny and Johanna opened the box and pink balloons rose into the air. "A girl! It's a girl." Johnny happily screamed around. Everyone cheered and celebrated, but your anxiety got worse. You couldn't be in the room anymore, there were too many people for you. So you turn around and disappear with Sunoh on the balcony that was in the bedroom. Jaehyun noticed and followed you. "Y/N ..." He came to you but fell silent when he saw you cry. You snuggle up to Sunoh and gently put your arm around his little head. "I don't know why. I thought I was over it." You kiss your baby's forehead and Jaehyun took a step towards you. "As I know you, you never will. But that’s who you are. And if it calms you down, I'm not feeling well either. I would have wished somehow that we had had another girl." He puts his arm around you and you wipe away the tears. "I would have wished for a girl too." You smile and snuggle up to him. It was the last time you shed tears over your lost child.

daddy jaehyun masterlist

[brocon-dead-fan-in-dead-fandom]

Ukyo REAL CANON facts (to be updated the day I'll be able to use Tumblr. Correctly

I love Ukyo so much haha (will try to do the other bros promised) but it doesn't seem people love my hubby as much TT.

I did these by binge reading the game translation and rewatching the anime! So I might have misunderstood or misread some sentences... I'm sorry haha err.

So here, stuff nobody asked...

Was always mistaken for a girl when he was little. Regardless of how manly he dressed he was always confused as a girl. (And hated it 😂)

Embarrassed of his butt because it is round and soft like a peach. He even called it Momo🍑 (Peach in Japanese).

Doesn't like sweet things.

Soba noodle obssesed. (He even started to make them himself. And when he starts... it never ends)

Closed pervert.

Competitive af.

Jealous and possesive af.

Good-Two-Shoes Sexually repressed man

Hot blooded man (like Tsubaki and Yuusuke)

Dislikes bad manners (such as spying, looking through his stuff without permission)

Had no high school friends in high school and always studied in the school library alone TT

Has made friends in college and some are his co-workers

Dated a stinky, disgusting, individual called Amamiya Reiko in college. That bitch was a last year and he was just behind her. When he heard rumors that the hoe was cheating on him with older lawyers. She confirmed the rumors and finally revealed she was doing that for status, knowledge and connections. Ukyo failed his exams and got to a smaller firm while the slut git in a bigger firm with bigger cases and income? Ukyo hates that part of his life. And finds himself pitful

Masaomi says he's bad at reading women

Seems to dislike video games

Loves reading books about law and ?

Isn't close to any of his brothers TT (not Hikaru. He literally hates Hikaru because he makes fun of him and embarass him? Hikaru is closer to Kaname)

He wants the best for his brothers (he loves them but there all "fools"😂 )

Quiet frank I have to say, he doesn't turn around the pot?

The moment he nags get ready to not hear the end of it (apparently horns grow out whenever he gets pissed)

Ukyo came to know about Iori's ex girlfriend story recently and is very worried about him

Finds Kaname reliable (for some reason more than Masaomi too)

Jealous of Kaname because of his popularity with women

Looks out for Wataru a lot since he's the youngest

Very good tutor and teacher

Quiet stubborn (if your sad and you don't want to tell him what makes you dad he will use his lawyer skills, mommy skills, brother skills even promises to make you talk. Will evn tell you he'll kiss you of you don't talk. He's very good at it apparently.)

Don't lie infront of him. Sixth Sense+ lawyer powers

Great listener

Very observant (Fuuto nicknames him 4 eyes)

His type is reliant and hardworking woman. He seems to like cute expressions. Someone attentive

Likes to watch Musicals and classics

Doesn't like romance books because he can't understand nor sympathise with the characters

Indecency makes him irritated/pissed haha as if he wasn't lowkey about his

Would literally hit you with a frying pan

Is the type to come wayyy to earlier to a place you both decided to meet up

Is very busy with the house chores and his job

Would ~punish~ you for misbehaving

Always wakes up first

Seems to have a sadistic streak

Strict with his brothers grades

Nicknamed Kyou-nii by his younger bros

He is a "fearsome figure" in the eyes of his younger brothers also one of the reasons why he isn't close to anyone

Favorite tea is Barley Tea

Can play piano

Bye byeee 🦑 have a nice day!

[purplesurveys]

1118

Have you ever visited your country’s capital city? Yes. I was born in Manila and even lived there for a short while. But I don’t like going there anymore as I find it too icky, stinky, and depressing. It has come very far from its glamour days in the 50s until the 80s, and not in a good way. If you’re going to make a trip to the Philippines, go to literally anywhere but Manila.

What are your plans for next Thursday? Next Thursday is actually a holiday here, so I’d want to spend that day catching up on rest, ignoring work, and simply staying in.

When was the last time you were outdoors for over an hour? Last Friday when I went out with Angela and a few other friends. A bar in Katip announced that they were going to permanently close by the end of the month - another pandemic victim - so we went there to have a bit of a good time before they’re gone for good.

What is the shortest amount of time you’ve lived somewhere? My parents and I only lived in Manila for a year. By the time I was 2, we had moved in with extended family in the city I currently live in.

What’s your favorite kind of mint? (Peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc) Mentos has a spearmint flavor that’s my favorite, so I’ll go with spearmint.

What was the last thing to frustrate you? I watched an interview with one of the last living Filipino comfort women who, as a teenager, had been raped by the Japanese during WWII. The Japanese’s way of dealing with their history is very infuriating – AKA they choose not to deal with it at all and act like nothing happened. I also learned that the Filipino government removed a statue we used to have that was meant to be dedicated to our comfort women, because the Japanese threatened to defund some of our projects if we didn’t have it removed. Everything about this is frustrating but most of my hatred is geared toward the Japanese government, both past and present.

What was the first movie you ever went to see in theaters? Stuart Little 2.

Do you do volunteer work, or have you ever done any in the past? I haven’t. I wanted to start volunteering for PAWS after I graduated college, but then Covid happened and so those plans fell through. These days, I help by donating P100 every week to my shelter of choice.

Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? Never been. None of my friends have gotten married yet, and once they have plans to I’m not sure if they’d be the type to throw this kind of party. In fact, I don’t actually know if bachelor/ette parties are a thing here...it’s definitely not a standard Asian tradition, I can tell you that much.

Did any of your family members serve in WWII? My great-grandfather did, though I’m not exactly sure what his rank was. He was also given the Congressional Gold Medal Award for his efforts in 2018. My military-hating ass will always be in conflict because I hate the idea of war and sending people off to participate in it, but I’m also proud of my great-grandpa.

What’s your favorite kind of salad? Spicy freaking tuna salad. I really want to order one today, but I already spent so much on food last week :/

Are you more realistic or idealistic? I am realistic towards myself, but I appreciate people who can be idealistic or keep being the least bit optimistic. I feel like the people I surround myself with is also crucial to the mindset I end up molding.

Do you have a home security system? Yes, his name is Finn. Statistically alarms like him are far more effective than the techy kind ;) < Ahahaha, same. Cooper’s very handy. Kimi’s going blind so he only barks when he hears Cooper start to bark, I guess as kind of a moral support hahaha.

Have you ever been to Ohio? Nope, and I’ve never been to that country at all.

Are you currently borrowing something from someone? I have Andi’s vape pen. I’m thinking of just buying it from him, to be honest, because I see myself using it for the long-term. I also still have several of Athenna’s books that she had lent me all the way back in high school, but I never got to return because she distanced herself from me and Angela.

Is anyone currently borrowing anything from you? I don’t think so. I’ve lent books before but they’ve since returned them.

What is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? Spanish and Portuguese.

When did you last buy a new pair of shoes? What kind? September. They were kitty heels meant for the first job interview I ever scored.

Is your car paid off, or do you make payments? I think it’s paid off. I’ve never heard my parents talk about having to make payments for it.

Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? If so, where?

China: People will stare and point at you while clearly talking about you with their peers. It was incredibly unsettling at first, but in the end I just powered through and ignored it no matter how irritating it felt.

South Korea: Apparently you can’t take photos in public?? I was trying to take a photo of this silly mannequin, but the stall owner shooed me away. This was my own fault, though, and I should’ve done more research before I pulled my phone out.

Japan: Bus drivers turn the bus’s engine off when at a stoplight. That was a pleasant surprise. And of course, the people there are incredibly nice. At one point we asked this couple how to get to a certain museum, and in no time we were surrounded by a literal large crowd who just wanted to help me and my parents.

Indonesia: The dizzying amount of motorcycles on the road.

Are you able to see the stars at night where you live? Yes. Even though we live close to the city, I’m glad we get a lot of stars.

Do you include your middle initial in your signature? No. My signature is the first letter of my name + the last letter of my surname in a very lazy scrawl.

What brand of computer do you have? Apple.

What operating system does that computer run? Mac OS and I am too lazy to check which particular one.

Have you ever had gumbo? I don’t think so. Looks appetizing though.

What’s the oldest piece of clothing that you still own and wear? Some dresses and pants from like the 6th and 7th grade that can still be appropriate for some occasions, but I keep them at the very back/bottom of my closet because I rarely have to pull them out.

Do you have a passport? Yes.

How many miles are on your car? Mid-30,000s.

Have you ever been to an estate sale? Nope.

How many relationships have you been in? I’ve been with one person, though we dated twice

Have you ever had Greek yogurt? I don’t think so? I’ve only tried yogurt once, not sure if it had been Greek yogurt, but anyway I absolutely hated it and have refused to consume yogurt since.

Is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? I live in the flatter part of the city, but we have a mountainous part as well of which we have a view from here.

[x-spooks]

Just Right. (Got7 AU) Ep. 1

This is going to be a tugboat of a love storyline. Your name is Inez-Mi. Your stage name is Nyx. You’re the newest member of an existing K-Pop girl group, Goddess, who happens to be under JYP. You’re replacing the leader who left abruptly and under shh, shh, circumstances. This is my first post so if you have questions/concerns/comments please fell free. 

Sweat ran trails down the curvature of your neck, disappearing under the collar of your plain black T. It clung to your tacky skin leaving nothing to the imagination. Your chest heaved as your lungs were forced to take sharp scorching breaths. You were definitely questioning your sanity as you stared at your reflection and those of your fellow members. You weren't Asian slim. You weren't build for show. You weren't quite athletic either. Nope. You were comparing yourself to the 4'10" to 5'5", 90 to 100lbs, flawless Koreans, Chinese, and Japanese dolls. The instructor snapped his fingers. "Nyx, you're delayed half a step." He voiced annoyed in Hangul. "I'll improve." You breathed. Your smoky gray eyes met his black ones. You lowered your gaze and bowed deeply.  He narrowed his eyes while a hiss of disbelief left his thin lips. Mister Cho had made his disapproval painfully clear. Specially in front of your fellow members and the big wigs.  If it wasn't for your father's reputation and name you would've bounced after two days. But you were a Moon. A daughter of an Idol turned famous producer/Actor who gave his free time to excel a company he was a board member to, JYP Entertainment.  You rose from your bow.  "Again." Mister Cho demanded. Over dramatized groans filled the practice room. A Korean member, Song-I, mouthed a few curses about you being a foreigner and something about choking you to death.  A laugh busted from your pouters lip. You weren't one to flex, but you wouldn't take anything physical from anyone specially Song-I dramatic whiny no having ass.  "Moon Inez-Mi!" Mister Cho yelled. "Are you wasting all of our time?" Your laugh died in the back of your throat at hearing your full name, "No, Sir." You military straightened your spine.  "Everyone dismissed expect Nyx." He growled with impatience, "You stay here until you get it right."  You nodded refusing to get upset. You bit hard on your inner lip until you tasted iron. You waited until everyone was long gone before you let your frustration leave you. Your lungs took in a long stinging pull of air. Instead of trying to break your knuckles against the wall of mirrors, You counted backwards from hundred letting your breath leave your chest slowly.  After a good five minutes, You walked over to the sound system and snatched up the remote. You stabbed the play button. Music pumped out of the giant speakers arranged in the far corners. You started to do the mind numbingly simple steps. You felt like such a sale out to your gender. Women in history fought tooth and nail to not be seen as walking sex and how you were flushing their progress down the toilet.  With every movement your voluminous curves gave way more than your full Asian members.  You needed to talk to your Dad.  You shoved all those thoughts aside and focused on the task at hand. Listening closely to the music you continued to dance. You sighed at your reflection after dancing to the same track fifteen times. But You finally got the timing right. Your hands found your slim waist. You did a side turn. You stared at your side profile through the mirrors. Your butt and bust were big even with the tight sports wear. You kinda wished you took after your dad more. But your mom's Mesoamerican/north-western European genes were definitely dominate at least in you.  Your eyes were large, circular with smoky gray iris and a deep double lid. Your  skin tone was pale with pink undertones. A body that definitely had a Mexican flare. You did have your dad's full pouty lips, delicate nose and his cheek bones.  You shook your head. "Fuck this." You sighed in English. You weren't ever going to be one of them. Movement caught your attention. You assumed it was your Dad checking in. He did it from time to time making all the other girls swoon. You let out another sigh, before masking your frustration. "Dad, your avid admirer are not here." Your perfect pitched Hangul voice was stinky with sweet sarcasm.  "Dad?"  Through the mirror, your eyes settled on a much younger man. He was handsome in a classic Korean drama way. It was then you noticed a few other guys staring in at you over his broad shoulders. They were all handsome in their own right. Your face went from white to scarlet in your embarrassment. You bowed deeply as you turned to face them. You tried to recall their names. "Please. Forgive my tone." You rose as she spoke in Hangul. K-Drama onyx eyes were cold as he took you in. You forced your expression to stay neutral. "I did not mean to be disrespectful." You tacked on. "Moon's daughter?" The tallest one asked not to you, but to K-Drama who had casually leaned in the door jam.  He nodded slowly with a blank expression, but his eyes were steady and unyielding.  Had you pissed him off before?  "You must need the room." You forced yourself to blink so you wouldn't be staring at their stunning faces. GOT7, you suddenly remembered. "Please excuse me. I will leave you be." You rushed over to the equipment stand and set the remote back.  "I heard you can do gymnastics?" One asked in perfect English.  You glanced over your shoulder and nodded slightly, "I did participate when I was younger." You confessed in Hangul as you turned towards the sound of a masculine voice. Mark. Of course, you would remember the only American other than yourself. Well that was a lie you had a duel citizenship. He slipped past K-Drama and did a front aerial like it was as easy as touching his toes. He landed a few feet away from you.  A smile took over your features as you gently clapped. Your embarrassment started to melt away. You took a good four steps forward and force your body to preform a back flip. You landed it out of pure muscle memory. You even did the proper posture for sticking it. You shook her head at your silliness. "I am Goddess's Nyx." You bowed again. A few loose strands of navy blue hair fell into your eyes and framed your face. You rose to see the members who were in the hall were now in the dance studio. K-drama didn't budge. He was still leaning against the width of the door observing.

Mark's smile could be heard in his voice as he introduced the members that were present. "The one still in the doorway is Jinyoung. Yugyeom is the tall one. That's Jackson."

You slightly bowed your head to Jinyoung and Yugyeom. 

When your eyes moved to Jackson, he did a front flip so strong he landed in the super hero pose. 

A genuine laugh left you as you slow clapped, "I wager your admirers appreciate it extremely." She teased in Hangul.

"You know it." He smiled as he rose from his stance. 

K-drama aka Jinyoung voice killed the mood, "Mark." 

"Hmm?" Mark glanced over to the door.

Jinyoung made the slightest motions that you barely see out from the corner of your eye.

"Are you following me?" You were suddenly distracted by the sting of annoyance in your older brother and New Manager of Goddess, voice as it seeped into the dance studio from the hall.  "Why would I follow you?" A deep male voice countered with venom sharpening his every syllable. "I belong here. You. You're just the spoiled brat to a withered idol who hasn't got it through his thick skull his time has long since past." Jinyoung slammed the door. Not only shutting himself out into the hall, but also silencing the argument.  "I don't know who that is, but they're in for a rude awakening." You dropped your beyond proper Hangul and picked up your American English. You started for the door. "That's our leader." Mark offered slightly annoyed himself.  You stopped in mid-step. "What?" You glanced over to him.  "Let me apology for him. JB and your Father aren't fans of each other." He offered hesitantly.  "It boiled over today." Jackson offered.  Your eyes went to Jackson then to the door while you wondered what had happened between JB and your dad. Everyone loved your dad or so you thought.  A sharp clap gathered all of their attention, "While they finish their yelling contest let's see who can land the most moves." Yugyeom suggested in Hangul, "I'll keep score."  "I'm in." Jackson and Mark said in unison. Their attention moved to you once you didn’t say anything. Jackson started to do a pleading puppy dog thing with his face. Mark smiled the sweetest smile and Yugyeom was laying the aegyo on thick. You playfully rolled your eyes while shaking your head. "The one with the least amounts of completions must purchase ice cream." You challenged in Hangul as you walked to the far side of the room. Sounds of agreement shot into the air.  "Are we to perform the exact combination or a particular combination we have the most success with?" You called over your shoulder. "Best at." They agreed.  "No simple combinations." You shot out in a playfully stern tone. You turned your back to the wall. You only had to wait a few seconds for Jackson and Mark to be next to you. "Ladies before gentlemen." You smiled. You took in a deep breath and made your Nikes do a few quick steps to get momentum. You forced your body to do a roundoff back tuck. You stuck it only to be abruptly face to face with a man who was beyond pissed. Your light eyes quickly took in his features. Two beauty marks above his left eye. His handsome features were set in a brooding expression. You would bet he always looked slightly intimidating. The little girl in you was instantly attracted. Like how you would fall for the rich bad boy in all those mangas you read in your pre-teens.  You saw your brother was shoulder to shoulder with him from your peripheral. Well, as close as a 6'3" could be to a 5'11".  You smiled a polite smile, but blatantly ignoring their combined attitude and turned on the heels of your Nikes. "Who proceeding?" "Inez-Mi." Your brothers voice was firm. "Il-Gun." You turned to face him but continued walking backwards towards Mark and Jackson.  "Its time to go." He spoke in Hangul through clenched teeth.  You didn't stop walking, "Sweet, smooth, satisfying ice cream is the reward." You voiced in Hangul as you felt the wall at your back. You leaned against it in a relaxed pose. You looked to Mark and Jackson then simply motioned for the next one to go.  They didnt budge. You looked to the man next to your brother. You tried to keep your face neutral. His dark gaze locked onto her gray ones. If looks could kill. His kicked out chin and grimacing lips would make anyone with sense scurry.  But did you have any? Nope. Your American arrogance kicked in. "Most honorable Lim Jae-Beom," You said in your sweetest Hangul tone, "you're going to receive lock jaw if you keep clenching your teeth and pushing out your chin like such." Your foreigner feature were set in a concerned expression. Mark, Jackson, and Yugyeom burst out laughing but quickly zipped their lips under JBs murderous stare. Jinyoung disguised his laugh as an awkward cough somewhere out of sight.  "Now!" Gun snapped.  You leaned off the wall unfazed by his anger and started towards them. You turned on your heels but continued to walk backwards "Forfeit means you owe me bubble tea." You smiled speaking English to Mark, Jackson and Yugyeom. Jackson confirmed with a kind expression. Mark flashed his famous smile and nodded. Yugyeom was red from trying to hold in his laughter. You turned and stopped in your steps. You were a few feet from the brooding twins. You bowed to JB and Gun, "It was a honor to meet you and please excuse my disobedience I did not mean to be disrespectful," You slowly rose with a soft demeanor. You turned at the waist slightly and waved goodbye at the guys. You even made a point to wave to Jinyoung who was casually sitting on the couch behind JB and Gun. His view point was perfect, you thought. He could watch everything unfold without being in the line of fire. You went out into the hall but before Gun shut the door behind him. You heard JB’s deep voice ask, "Why is she speaking like she's a descendant of royalty?" He was definitely angry. You laughed walking ahead of your brother. "Inez," Guns voice filled the hall, "this isn't funny." He growled, "Pissing off JB isn't worth the headache nor the ear full you're going to get from Dad. You need to learn your place." You rolled your eyes hard. "I can't comprehend the reason why?" Your voice caught some of his sassy tone. "Your my Guardian when father is not hovering. So would it not be you who receives father's wrath for not keeping me in my quote unquote place." The squeaking of his teeth grinding meant you had gone too far. "It's on Goddess' schedule for you to get ready for a radio interview." He talked through his teeth.  You stopped in your steps until Gun was beside you, "I’m sorry." Your dared a glance up to Guns’ profile. "I did not intend to shove back so hard." An angry smile took hold of his intimidation features. "Dad didn't risk his neck and name for you to fuck this up. You are now the newest member and Leader of Goddess." He started walking so fast that you could barely keep up. "Start acting like it." You wanted to lash out. To scream at him that you had avoided the Idol path with college and spending time in the state's with our mom. But it wouldn't help you. You would come across as whiney, pathetic, and unmanageable. Gun was right, anyways. Their dad found a way to make lemonade out of a scandalous situation. A situation that was being covered up even within JYP Entertainment. Only the higher ups knew what happened and they weren't talking.  All you were privy to was you were Goddess' Hail Mary pass. JYP Entertainment was going to drop the girl group, when your dad made the move to drag his 'multi-talented' daughter into the mix.  You rolled your eyes hard as you remembered the press release.  You were so lost in thought, you bashed into a slim, tall figure as you rounded the corner, "Excuse me," you bowed your head. "My apologies." Your embarrassment was written on your face as your eyes gazed up to a pair of grey, blue irises.  "No," The well dressed man paused once he saw Gun. He sized him up with a cold expression, "Excuse me. I'm late and wasn't paying attention." His voice was lighter than You would have guessed. He bowed while side stepping. "Its all for show." An amused smile tugged on your lips as you spoke English. Your eyes settled on his handsome face as he rose.  "Nyx?" He asked with a spark of recognition in his eye and finger gun pointing at you. You nodded with a kind smile. You thought of Got7 and remembered Mark and Jackson weren’t the only regular English speaker. "Bam Bam?" You countered. You definitely liked how his expression reflect his mood. There was no way he was Korean.  A cocky smirk took over his full lips.  "You might want to count to ten and mentally prepare yourself." You commented with some regret lingering in your voice.  He arched a well manicured brow in confusion while losing his smile. "I might've," you paused thinking of a nice way to say you straight out disrespected his leader, "danced on JB’s last nerve." His full lips broke into a grin, "No worries." He laughed, "we do it all the time-" "BamBam." Gun voiced annoyed clearly ready to get out of here. He bowed his head in the slightest way. You sighed under your breath, "Gun-Hulk Smash." You felt Guns grip on your wrist. You had to resist ripping it out of his hand. You glanced down at your combined flesh. You were unimpressed. You softened your expression when your eyes found BamBam. "I am behind in my schedule as well it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance," you spoke in Hangul as you bowed again. "Good luck."  Gun started walking while pulling you with him. "You too," BamBam smiled a kind smile that reached his eyes. His expression soured at Gun as you was tugged away. Once you two made it to the elevator, you tore your wrist from his grasp. Your light eyes narrowed as you stabbed your index finger into the up arrow. You wanted to say something, anything clever to make it clear he wasn't your guys Father, but nothing came to mind.  The elevator dinged open.  You got in after Gun. You went to the buttons and poked the floor you needed. While the doors were shutting you saw BamBam watching you two. You smiled a polite smile and waved. 

[liquidmcgarnagle]

Que piensa; What do you think?

The diner was just another hole-in-the-wall built in to the Tower District.  One young and very beautiful woman was the only one on shift tonight even though there were seven people at the bar, and nearly all the booths were full.  He felt disgusted with the fact that she should have to put up with this as he snapped his finger in the air for service.  He hoped she hadn't actually seen him do it, but she was there right away with a fresh face.  

“Are you survivin' the night?” he asked.  “This place is packed!”  

 “Well, I like to think that I'll never get jaded, but I do get a little from a friend.”  She places her left pointer curled against the right side of her nose.  The thumb presses against her cheekbone and outward, opening her nasal passages and she sniffs cleanly in.  “It ain't so bad, just gotta keep on keepin' on ya know?  More coffee?”

“Thanks...” he squints at her chest, taking time to look without seeming pervert-y.  “Delia?  Delaila?  Diladid?  No wait...”  She chuckles.  He tilts his head to the side like a bird getting another vantage point for its food.  You know how they do.

“Cute...” she wants to roll her eyes, but she does so rapidly enough that no one notices.  Hard to fake sarcasm on the go.

“You know I can never tell when someone in the,” he air-quotes “service industry is having a good time with me, or just after tips.”  Gretchen sinks lower in to the booth reading Nietzsche.  It almost pissed him off the type of stuff she was reading these days, like she would start dressing in all black any minute now.        

“Ah, gotcha” double-tapping a click to his teeth like a check mark.  She worked hard even though she had substantive support.  He hated waiting on people; she must put up with a lot.  Jesus, He knew the owner too, and he was a dick.  Literally... his name was Richard.  

“So, you good then?”  she sniffs.  He can still see a little bit of white Halloween in the crevice between her thumb and forefinger.  He was always observant regarding psychoactives.  Why?  It was like something like that always finding him and staring straight in to his eyes.  Staring him down almost

“Um, naw, we're ok.  You doin' ok honey?”  She took off quickly emptying the coffee pot in to three different cups.  

“Miss, I had decaf” one of the patrons at a booth said.

“Then just drink a little bit Henry,” she retorted.  “Besides, I've always given you regular... you tip better when I sneak ya some.”  Henry shrugged his shoulders.  

“Don't address women, like that, or anyone for that matter.  It can be perceived as demeaning Dad.”

“Well, shit, maybe you should start calling me Mr. Dad?”  He was slightly embarrassed at the remark, but maybe she was right.  The times were changing and change made him very uncomfortable.  He thinks about all the changes in his life that he fought tooth and nail against and how they bit him in the ass.  The change happened and he didn't like the fight.  Ugh, he thought.  He missed not caring.  He missed the booze.  He missed the fun times he thought he had.  

“Are you familiar with honorifics Pop?” she asked snootily, knowing he had no idea.

“What do you think daughter?” curling roughly the way he called her to show he was a little pissed off at the educational lecture he was about to endure.  

“In Japanese culture, politeness is key.  After the feudal era, the status of people was highly important to contrast the lack of order during war.”  Stephen rolled his eyes.  Pissing him off gave her fuel for some reason; medieval fuel for a modern era.  She would 'sophen' him up a bit to get him pissed off enough to go to work today... this time.  

“So, honorifics are expressions of respect and endearment like the nature of a relationship when people talk with each other.  Like, if I was a student and you were my teacher, I would refer to you as senpai.  You would call mom, mama-chan.  I would call someone in a grade below me kohai.  You would refer to everyone around you as bozu cuz you hate everyone.”  She enjoyed teaching her father random stuff at random times.  He couldn't take it otherwise.  Knowledge had to be peppered on to him as if from the mill.  She couldn't tell him this or else he would figure it out and be shut out permanently; or at least until he forgot.  

“This is too much shit honey... fuck... shit... goddamnit...” he smacks the table hard, rattling the dishes.  You hear the spoon next to his daughter's cup of coffee.  She drinks it black referring to it as Mississippi Mud.  Mmm, smacking her lips every time she takes her first sip.  She falls in to her seat.  'that ain't right he says to himself.'  

“I am only saying that this is another way to think.  And it's nice, right?”

“Yes.  Yes it is Gretch.  But that kind of stuff would never fly here.  Everyone is just sitting in their own shit, thinking their better than everyone else, waiting for the right time to strike when the iron's hot and the people, ripe for the picking.  Let's talk about something else.  What'd you do in school today?”

“They had us take apart owl pellets.”

“What the hell are those?”

“Ok, you know, owls catch mice and eat 'em and stuff?  It's not like they have a knife and fork with their bib tucked in when they go to town,” she eyes how ridiculous her father looks with his done in.  It would be nice if the whole Beethoven look was still the style, but it's not.  “Well, they regurgitate whatever is left over from the carcass.  Owls eat the rodent.  Then, after their body sucks all the meat and nutrients out of it,” she imitates vomiting “Ughaah ughaah!”

“Oh, that's cool!  Not!  Haha,” he laughs at himself tritely.  “What the hell's the point?  I feel like they are wasting their time with this kinda shit.  My taxes pay for someone to go out, catch fucking shit-ton of owls, and go through their shit?!?”  

“Our tax dollars daddy.” responding slowly to make sure he doesn't feel so alone.  “And besides, that's not how it works.”

“Whatever,” he looks away and throws his arm in the air.  

“Alright what else?” he regretfully asks, but these are his fatherly duties, to know what's going on in the life of his offspring, especially at such an early age.  It's only our current cultural climate of capitalist consumerism that has begun to lay the tile of family disruption.  

“Well in health class after seeing all of those fucking STD's!  I find that sex can be summed up into this: 'a stinky yellow discharge.' And that's on both sides!” she doesn't care what she said.

“I told you to stop swearin' like that Gretch.”

“I like to think that I have a spice rack that sits on my tongue.  You haven't taken me Costco for a while.  And I'm all out of “like, really? damn and cun---”

“Stop right there young lady!  Goddamnit!  Sometimes I wish your mother was here to teach you how to speak proper.  But then I remember how big a' cunt she is.” looking off in the distance he moves his eyes towards her to make sure she knows he's fucking with her.

“How else am I supposed to put some flavor on what I say?” snickering.  

“You're smart, I know you'll think of something.”  He sighs with his forearms propping up his entire upper-torso.  He feels the weight of being a father in his brain.  It's emotionally exhausting.  What were the payouts?  What was the reason he had a kid in the first place?  Oh yeah.  

Such weird juxtaposition.  The dissociation of church and state.  The association between church and state.  Dangle the lusty lace in our faces while those we were supposed to love tell us what we think is wrong.  Just gotta explore.  Just gotta find out... find out... find out... for yourself.  

“You need any money for school tomorrow before I forget?” Stephen asks her squarely, and then immediately nonchalantly.  Gretchen looks around, slightly unsure, slightly disgusted, but she says something anyway.  

“I don’t know.  Look at everyone.”  Stephen looks around.  “What, you don’t see it?”

“See fuckin’ what?” he tries to take out the meat of the fuck as he speaks.  

“Look at how sad they all are.  We all come here to get something.  To get something we have to give something.  We feel bad that we have to have this exchange; always feeling that we’re being cheated, scammed, or not getting our money’s worth.  This has given life to this negative connotation with even receiving something for free, like ‘What do you want?’”

“This is the way the world works Gretch.  Scratch my back, I scratch yours.  Quid pro quo.  Nothing is free, except freedom.  They like to say it isn’t but that’s just one more piece of bait.  Tradition!!!”  he imitates Fiddler on the Roof.  

"I don’t want to accept it.  That cannot be the final say of how we turn out; hating the fact that we have to get together just to hate each other through barter.  And then!  And then we retreat back to whichever hole we found to hide from them,”  she is enamored with the anger and logical emotion she produced.

 “Look, I just don’t want people thinking I’m a deadbeat Dad.”  An obvious tweaker stumbles in like an electron firing in every direction.  The camera speeds up and slows down, like in Donnie Darko as the montage music plays.  The camera pans for the first time through Middlesex school depicting the main characters how the director wants you to see 'em.  His body parts flail while still seeming like he's about to fall over any second.  He walks toward the bathroom and stops dead.  He turns around looking at Stephen.  He collapses with his ass out and his elbows on their table, jumbling the words “How much?”

Stephen sticks his hand down his pocket, grabbing an ugly wad of cash and lots of change.  Gretchen grabs her backpack and stands on top of the trampoline-like pleathery booth.  She weighed practically nothing compared to the bounciness of the seat.  Stephen turns with the fist full of money and plows the presently degenerate right in the face as the cash flies everywhere.  The faces of the patrons all looked up at the scene, like a frozen applause.  Gretchen jumps in to the air towards her father as he's shaking his fist in painful disgust.  “Gretch!” he yells. “Fuck that hurt!”  He catches her and tucks her under his arm like a football; she and the backpack flailing beneath at the mercy of her father's panicked and happy gait.    

The camera pans upward: -25 to -32.5 degrees, quadrant IV of basic geometric circumstance...    Aside from the third dimension, vantage vector is at y=-1/3x +1, where the y axis presents the door, and the vantage point is just a few feet in front of and below Stephen and Gretchen; with Delia halfway out the glass door, waving the coffee pot in her outstretched and snowy appendage.  This is slow motion of course...

He says panting in run “I wish that pot pie place hadn't close hun.”

“I know Pop, we'll find another place soon.  I'll find somewhere we've never been before.  A unholy, holier hole in the wall, K?” her voice staccatos with every bounce, like when a baby is trying to make noises when you bounce it on your knee.  It sounds funny.  

“Fuck, that's the third place this week.”  

“I know Dad.”

You know I love you Gretch.  Everything ”

“I know Dad.”  They are both smiling while he sprints heavily away with his most prized possessions.

[likorys-shimenawa]

@gatheringbones​

A basic premise of straight culture is the idea that gendered bodies, especially women’s bodies, require purification and modification to be desirable—shaving, perfuming, toning, refining, shrinking, enlarging, and antiaging. But in queer spaces, it is often precisely the hairy, sweaty, dirty, smelly, or unkempt gendered body that is most beloved. I recall the first time I entered a gay men’s sex shop, in the 1990s in the Castro district of San Francisco, and encountered a barrel full of lightly stained and dingy-looking “used jock straps” for sale. It was my introduction to the fact that there were people in the world who desired men’s bodies so much that they wanted deep, intimate, and seemingly unconditional contact with them—even and especially the parts of men’s bodies that straight women seemed to want to avoid. 

Gee, could’ve darn fooled me, when lusting for stinky undies is talked about and linked to point about straight culture and what bodies does it tell us to like! /s

Yes, I’m as repulsed by a gay wanting do buy used, dirty, stained jockstraps than I am by people wanting to buy stinking heels or the Japanese machines with used stinky panties.

I don’t need ‘straight culture’ to make me disgusted by stench and dirt - my literal biological senses do it all on their own.

Someone sure is trying to project their kink on the world, but it ain’t me, buddy.

[“A basic premise of straight culture is the idea that gendered bodies, especially women’s bodies, require purification and modification to be desirable—shaving, perfuming, toning, refining, shrinking, enlarging, and antiaging. But in queer spaces, it is often precisely the hairy, sweaty, dirty, smelly, or unkempt gendered body that is most beloved. I recall the first time I entered a gay men’s sex shop, in the 1990s in the Castro district of San Francisco, and encountered a barrel full of lightly stained and dingy-looking “used jock straps” for sale. It was my introduction to the fact that there were people in the world who desired men’s bodies so much that they wanted deep, intimate, and seemingly unconditional contact with them—even and especially the parts of men’s bodies that straight women seemed to want to avoid.

Most straight women I knew, no doubt due to their socialization as girls and women, appreciated men’s bodies for their sexual functionality but not as a site of objectification that they were excited to dive into and explore—to smell, taste, or penetrate. Similarly, I have been to dozens of dyke strip shows, burlesque shows, drag-king shows, and sex shows in which women’s armpit hair and leg hair and facial hair or their body fat or their genderqueer bodies have been precisely the objects of the audience’s collective lust. Fat bodies and hairy bodies are also staples of queer dyke porn, not relegated to a fetish category. In other words, queer desire is marked by a lustful appreciation for even those parts of men’s and women’s bodies that have been degraded by straight culture. Like a food adventurer who delights in those parts of the animal or plant deemed undesirable by the narrowing of mainstream tastes, queer people’s desire for the full animal has been less constrained. Recognizing this suggests that gay men may have a deeper or more comprehensive appreciation for men’s bodies than do straight women, just as lesbians’ lust for women is arguably more expansive and forgiving than straight men’s. But most importantly, because queer circuits of desire do not rely on the erotic encounter of “opposites” embedded in a broader culture of gendered acrimony and alienation, queer lust need not reconcile a conflict between wanting to fuck and generally disliking one’s fuckable population.”]

Jane Ward, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: Axis Powers Episode #49 Transcript

This episode has Japan's isolation and Japan trying to imitate France.

Japan: Fresh milk for sale here.

{Caption: Japan and its approaching cultural enlightenment}

Japan: Tasty delicious milk…right from the cow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: Japan had been shutting himself in for hundreds of years but…}

America: Japan, your lonely loner days are now over!

{Caption: The End…of his days of shutting himself in has come}

{Text on sign: Japan’s Room}

Japan’s boss: Hey, Japan! Get your butt out here! Monsieur France has come to pay you a visit!

(Monsieur: Mr. → French)

Japan: I don’t want to.

Japan’s boss: Ouah!

Japan: He probably wants to trick me into a treaty that get him a cheap electronic. And then he liberate all our women by teaching them to wear pants.

Japan’s boss: Hey! If you never let anybody in, you’re a stranger to the world! How would they get anime?

Japan: I’m. Not. Coming. Out!

Japan’s boss: Are you suure? Monsieur France brought cute little kitty-witty with him!

(Monsieur: Mr. → French)

Japan: Nh…ohh…

Japan’s boss: Finally! Now hurry up and go say hi to Mr. Frenchie!

Japan: I’ll just see the kitty.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Japan: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Japan’s thoughts: Our era of cultural enlightenment has reached its peak. Since Mr. France took time out of his busy schedule to visit us here today, I might as well try adopting his culture by watching and imitating.

Japanese girl #1: Ah, did you see how they kissed?

Japanese girl #2: Hehehehe!

France: Mwa!

Japanese girl #1, Japanese girl #2: Woaahhh! Hehehehe!

Japan: The things France does seem so strange to me and my simple ways. However…shall I give them a try? Mmmmmm…mwa! Seriously, what am I doing?!

France: Ahchoo! Ngh…

Japan: Ah…achoo!

France: Oh, man, I’ve got a stinking head cold!

Japan: Oh, man, I’ve got a stinky head cold.

France: Huh? Wow, this guy France is totally super cool! He’s, like, the best ever!

Japan: Wow, this guy France is totally super---auh!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

France: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Japanese girl: Nhhhhh…

Japanese children: Nhhhhhhh….

Japan: Aoh?

Japanese children: Nhhhhh…

Japan: What’s wrong? Did you all eat your ice cream too fast?

(Japanese children: Nhhhh…)

Japanese girl: It’s a French thing! They call it “clairvoyance!” Do you want to do it with us?

(Japanese children: Nhhhh…)

Japan: Nuaah!

Japanese girl: Close your eyes, think really hard, and you can see things far away!

Japan: O…kay? Nhhhh…

Japanese girl: Can you see anything?

Japan: Nhhhhhh! Ah, I can!

Dream Japanese man #1: Aah, look! I invented something called an anime styling board!

Dream Japanese man #2: The worker likes leave it all to meeee!

Dream Japanese man #3: Uaaahh…I’ll never be any good!

Dream Japanese man #4: Please! Don’t make me draw any more panties!

Japan: Aoh!

Japanese girl: Did you see it?!

Japan: No, I could not see.

Japanese girl: Aww…

Japan: Sorry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Canada: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Canada: Huah…hey, Mr. Kumajiro? Why doesn’t anybody ever remember who I am?

Kumajiro: Hmm…who are you?

Canada: I’m Canada, your owner!

Kumajiro: Hmm…it’s hard to tell who you are! You should try to look more Canadian.

Canada: Great idea! I just have to change my appearance so it’s completely unmistakable who I am! And that’s why I ended up tattooing a maple leaf on my forehead!

America: Yup, you sure did…hehe.

Canada: This way I’ll never be mistaken for America---augh! That’s weird…did something just happen to me?

America: Hahaha! I saved you from a life of ridicule!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

America: S’up, dudes; I’m America! I came here to teach my new friend a game! For reals, y’all; Japan and I are homies!

Japanese boy: Woah, a real foreigner!

Japanese girl: Why is he so loud?

Japan: Oah…

Children: To be continued!

{Caption: To be continued}

[satyrsdontwearboots]

5 de abril

Dear diary, dearest of all my diaries, perhaps it's time for a little bit of self-reflection. You know, something unrelated to meditation or my journey to becoming a human yoga slinky.

Since I started learning Japanese, I guess our supreme omnipresent Googlian overlords have decided it's time to set their all-powerful algorithms into action and suggest me all kinds of videos related to Japanese culture. As I was looking for something to watch, one of those videos caught my eye. The title was something about how foreigners make Japanese people uncomfortable. Hmm... Okay, YouTube-sama, enlighten me. What is it about my very essence that would make it so a Japanese person wouldn't want to exist next to me? Among many reasons, one stood out. One I never would've considered. The smell. Not as in a stinky smell, but the strong scent of perfume or deodorant. Yeah... they very against that. An attack upon their sensitive nostrils. And I think I side with them on this issue. Not that I'd be against perfumes in general, but I've been in a couple of situations where I'm in public and there's someone with a really strong perfume next to me. Usually an older lady. I wonder what's up with that.

So that whole thing got me thinking about the kind of smells I like. Pleasant relaxing smells are nice. Lavender, soap, fabric softener... Gasoline... Yeah, gasoline. Shut up, dear diary! I like it! Leave me alone. But the thing is, when it comes to cosmetics, I much prefer the smell of things targeted towards women. Shampoo, soap, even perfume. So like, isn't the point of perfume that it's supposed to attract the other gender, or something? I'm sure that's not why all people wear perfume, but isn't that what they're supposed to do? Why do I know when I get in an empty elevator, that the smell of perfume belongs to a woman who just left? I guess I'm phrasing this poorly. My most sincere apologies, dearest diary. What I'm trying to say is, why are perfume gendered? I don't want to smell a man on myself. It feels to me like I have a man on me. I'd much rather smell like I have a woman near me. I suppose it wouldn't be very manly to wear women's perfume, but if they knew my reasoning for wearing it, they'd know I am, right? Sure.

Growing up I never felt particularly manly. I wasn't effeminate or anything, but my hobbies were always very different than the other boys I knew. While they were playing soccer, I was riding my bike. While they were watching soccer, I was watching sitcoms. While they were talking about soccer, I was talking to my online friends on videogames. You get the point. There's a lot of things I used to do that never quite lined up with the interest of my supposed peers. And that only got worse as I got older. When they were going out to parties and talking about how many girls they had been with, I was just so uninterested. Something about teenagers wanting to prove they're more grown up that they are, or trying to assert a certain level of manliness was always so awkward to me. Still is. Sometimes I notice them in public and I find it difficult not to cringe. Was I like that??? Probably. Yikes.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled nonsense.

30 DAYS OF YOGA (day 7)

And on the seventh day, He rested. I didn't, however. Earlier today I felt the soreness in my obliques catching up to me as I pulled out of the parking lot on the way to the supermarket. Maybe He was wise to take the seventh day off.

As this week went on, at some points I considered the idea of doing it in a group setting. Like a proper yoga class, or even tai chi. But today I was reminded of why that wouldn't be such a great idea, among many other reasons. Sometimes I have to actually stop mid cobra pose, or whatever, to adjust my junk. Like actually pause what I'm doing and make sure my balls aren't going to be crushed by my thighs or by the weight of my body. I can't imagine doing that in front of people. Or in front of a bunch of middle aged women, which is what American TV has led me to believe a normal yoga class consists of.

Week 1 in the baaaaaag. Namaste!

[dq108]

you’ve got a daddy to find

HELLO. I’m back. Over the holidays I went back to my proverbial womb of [Hometown], Indiana. No, I wasn’t born there, but when people ask me where I’m from, I usually say “[Hometown], Indiana,” and when they passive-aggressively ask where I’m really from, I tell them, “[Hometown], Indiana,” because that is where I spent all of junior high and high school, which is where you are your most obnoxious teenage self and thus is basically where you are from. 

I went back to the first post on this Tumblr and was pleasantly surprised to find that I did not lie about my prior gaming experience. Sometimes I tell people that I have never played a video game which is not true! Instead this time I just did a little literary quibble by saying the Nintendo Switch is my first gaming console (other than a PC). “What is a literary quibble?” you might ask. It’s like when Macduff is able to kill Macbeth because his mom had a C-section.

So, yes, I have played video games, a sampling of which is pictured above. I guess in junior high my mom signed us/me up for a software of the month club, through which I got a smattering of educational software, gaming software, and educational gaming software, like this one ‘game’ where you traverse down the Amazon River and learn about frogs (not pictured). It turns out that when you don’t own a gaming console, your “first” video games are kind of bad and weird, actually? (Besides Rockett. Rockett remains amazing, and I still love the ending song of Rockett’s Tricky Decision. Purple Moon never got the love it deserved.) Turns out that Shogo: Mobile Armor Division was, despite its name, not made by a Japanese company but instead a studio called Monolith Productions, which was known for a few games that I personally have never heard of before it was bought up by Warner Bros. I don’t remember most of the gameplay because 1) I died multiple times in the very first mission which is supposed to be a hands-on tutorial and 2) my dad had the computer contrast and brightness turned down so low that I was never able to discern where I was going in the next level, so I just wandered around aimlessly like a chump until I got killed again. I watched some gameplay videos on YouTube to write this blurb and in my infinite wisdom now it’s obvious the things it was trying to copy from, like, Metal Gear Solid, but worse. Much worse. It does still have a bitching soundtrack for 1998 though. 

My point is, if I had played maybe a classic platformer or a Zelda game when I was younger, I may have learned that it’s normal for beginners to die multiple times when they try out a new game, especially if they don’t really play games. (I mean, maybe not in the first reconnaissance mission part of Shogo. That’s definitely a newbie move.) But because I never learned that lesson, I just quit. Which is dumb, because it turns out that Shogo had a weird critical hit system and was hard even for people who actually played games to play without dying!

Anyway, when I say I am bad at video games, I don’t mean it like when a pretty girl at a bar tells you they’re bad at ping pong but then you play her and she beats you 11-2. Most people are bad at one video game or they are not as good at video games as other people who are really really good at video games. I am bad at video games in ways that you are not supposed to be bad at video games. 

Like, take one point in the Downtown Heliodor level. You meet a man who tells you to climb to the building roof, the idea being that you can use a rope strung between certain buildings to sneak into the Royal Square. The thing is, there are two ropes. And I only got the first one, and I spent probably 15 minutes running up buildings and jumping off rooftops before I finally LOOKED DOWN and saw the second one almost at my feet. 

Suffice to say it was this experience that made me want to blog about playing Dragon Quest XI.

Movement is a tricky thing in video games when you are bad at video games. Sometimes, it is not my fault. Like my (very bad video game) horse, that I haven’t named yet. Look at this. Horses are not supposed to stand like this. My god, why is it standing like that? What are its front hooves even standing on? Look at Haruhi gaze upon it in horror. Me too, Haruhi. Me too. 

After we get Erik’s glowy orb thing back from two gryphon siblings who are guarding a vault, we head off to Hotto. I kind of forget why and I’m sure it’s not really that important. Hotto is a hot springs resort town, and the first thing that happens when you get to Hotto is that someone implies my boyfriend Erik is stinky (rude!!) and he is whisked off to take a bath. Obviously my first instinct is to make Haruhi follow after him, but this is a video game and more specifically it is Dragon Quest so instead I first do a lot of wandering. 

Very, very bad wandering. Physically inept wandering. 

I don’t know what to say about this. I fall off that ledge like, three separate times. In trying a tricky move where I just swing the camera around to make sure there’s nothing at the end of the porch I need to break, I forget my bearings and fall off. At one point I lose control of which button I am supposed to be hitting so I just jump around like a drunk grasshopper and Haruhi even makes an exhalation like he’s disgusted at me. At the end, Haruhi just gives up and stands with his back towards me because he doesn’t even want to talk to me. Okay, I get it. I’m sorry.

 Eventually I am sure I have gathered all the loot and broken pots I’m supposed to and I make it to the baths.

<img src=“https://imgur.com/kcJLwJB”>

Erik has literally been waiting in (real time) hours for me to join in him. In the bath. I really appreciate this dedication but, like, HOURS. That cannot be good for his skin. Also I have been in Japanese baths like this before and I’m pretty sure we’re both supposed to be naked. But I’m extremely touched and I savor the cut scene that allows me to just chill here, entirely clothed, with my bud. In between this post and the last post I read some wiki entries and I guess Erik is supposed to have a mid-Atlantic accent? For those of you who haven’t watched the Wired dialect coach videos obsessively, that’s the kind of accent that Katharine Hepburn used in old movies. I guess that’s sexy?? But a strange acting choice all the same.

Anyway Erik literally flirts with me through this scene which I did not film because I thought I was hallucinating how extremely, like, flirtatious this scene was?? I tell Erik I’ve been scoping out the town and when I refuse to tell him what I saw he teases me, “I can see by your face there’s something you want to tell me.” IS THERE? IS THERE?? IS THERE SOMETHING HARUHI WANTS TO TELL HIM?? 

But then it turns out Haruhi is just talking about how we met Veronica looking for her sister outside of a bar. Erik makes some ominous comments about kid sisters before our extremely tender moment is interrupted by a GIRL’S VOICE LOOKING FOR HER DAD. It’s not Veronica, thankfully, just some RANDOM LITTLE GIRL IN THE MALE SIDE OF THE BATH. So that’s why we’re not allowed to be naked for this scene.

Erik and Haruhi are much nicer to this kid than I would be, and decide that she must be the kid sister Veronica is looking for and that we should return her to Veronica. There is a really bizarre sequence where one of the villagers offers you a taste of the sensual pleasure of a “puff-puff” which I think is just marijuana but literally who knows. Afterwards you can barge into the women’s side of the bath and if you do that you get an achievement.

This game is messed up.

I forgot to mention two things which is that everyone in Hotto speaks in haiku syllables and also you do most of your wandering in the bathhouse itself alone. You’re not rejoined by Erik until you actually leave the bathhouse, and then meet up with Veronica, who is exTREMELy English and tells you that 1) Connie is NOT her sister and 2) “You’ve got a daddy to find!”

Connie’s dad is boozing in a bar, and I really don’t think we should have returned her to him, but whatever. Meanwhile we agree to help Veronica find her sister Serena, who is for [mumble] reasons at [mumble] some place westward. Do you know Veronica gives you an option to say no to finding Serena? I’m kind of curious what would happen to the game if you told her no. Can I just stay here forever with Erik raising Connie? 

Guess we’ll never find out. 

[iwastoldthisisgoodforme]

11.8.19

Lentils

Hye Jin, Mina

Ayumi

Luisa

Planning

Met with Yuna and Misaki. As soon as I turned the corner to go to the bar, I saw them trying to find the place. They were quite confused which I thought they would be. I told them it was a secret and opened the bar and took them into the bar. They thought it was so cool, the atmosphere and decorations. Misaki found the dead animals to be a bit scary. We sat at the same table that Mikayla and Valerie and I had sat, which was a good spot. I told them the atmosphere reminded me of home. We ended up buying the $4 beers. Misaki asked me what I do on my day off and I told them I like to hang out with friends like go to the park and have a picnic. I asked them what they like to do on and Yuna said she likes to cook. I asked what she cooks and they asked me what Japanese food I like. She said she really likes oyakodon which is chicken and an egg and they told me it means adult and child. I told them I usually eat katsu don but I like all Japanese food. I like sushi, okonimiyaki, takoyaki, sukiyaki, but my favorites were shabu shabu. They asked if I like natto and I said I didn’t like it but didn’t dislike it. Misaki didn’t like it because it was smelly. She asked me if smelly and stinky were the same and I said yes. I said I want to try Yuna’s cooking. 

I asked Misaki what she did in Japan before coming here. She said she did childcare for three years. When I asked Yuna what she did in Japan, she said she was a uni student studying IT. They asked me what I did and I said I was an engineer but they didn’t really know what an engineer did they just knew it sounded difficult. 

Yuna and Misaki both said I had good Japanese and that I must be Japanese. I told them I still had a lot to learn but Yuna said she was very surprised when she was texting me. I asked how so and she brought up our convo and she said she thought I would say can you please switch characters instead of using kanji but she was surprised to see me reply back. They asked if I am really American and said I must be half.

Yuna apparently would end school next week but Misaki still had two more weeks. Misaki would go to the farm at the end of this month or early next month. Yuna would look for a job. They said they both completed the RSA but since they took it in person at CBD college, it was a little more expensive than the online course. They were both on working holiday visa and they asked what I was on and I said I was also working holiday visa. Yuna said she probably wouldn’t go to the farm because she heard stories of being taken advantage of on the farm but she might switch to student visa and study business. They asked what visa I’m on and I said working holiday but since I wouldn’t be going to the farm, I would leave in November. But since Misaki would be leaving and I would be going on vacation to the US, I probably wouldn’t see her again after this coming week. It was a sad moment when we all realized how much limited time we had left. They said that all the friends they make would be leaving this year since they made a lot of friends from their language school. They also talked about Australian/American English differences and I was surprised to see that Yuna knew about Mickey D’s which they both thought was cute. We also talked about me going to the US for some weddings and going to Hawaii. They both had been to Hawaii only once but they didn’t like how there were so many Japanese people there so it felt like Japan. Yuna had also been to Guam but she didn’t realize it was part of the US. Since she had studied in Malta, she also told me about the British/American differences but overall she had a more American accent. Yuna told me she has trouble when it comes to the words lover and lava. They also mentioned at one point that I make a good English teacher because I could speak some Japanese. They also told me about hanamaru, which means perfect like kanpeki but is often used with tests. There is even a hanamaru symbol which has a flower. Yuna also mentioned that her birthday was November 1 so Misaki would be missing it but I said we could celebrate it. I asked when was Misaki’s was and she said February 7. They asked mine and I told them. I asked what Yuna would do for her birthday and she said probably eat.

They said the first time they tried vegan food was at Lentils and that there aren’t many vegan restaurants in Japan since everyone eats meat and they had never heard of that growing up and also that meat was so tasty. They asked me if it was the same for me and I said yes. But I told them about freegan people. They also mentioned Sophia and how she talked really fast (at least I think it was Sophia they were mentioning based off their description). 

Misaki told me that in Japan she rarely drank, maybe three or four times a year and never went to a nightclub but here she was drinking and going to a club every weekend. Yuna said she didn’t like nightclubs in Japan because guys only wanted sex and I said it’s the same here but she said that here guy friends will protect her from strange dudes. They joked that Misaki was stereotypical Japanese but Yuna was half Japanese, half Brazilian.

Yuna had bought two more rounds during all the talking although Misaki didn’t join us for round 3. She was already quite drunk and Yuna said her laughing point was quite shallow, meaning she would laugh at anything. They said when she’s drunk she is ponkotsu (stopped working, useless) and I asked why, is her head ponkotsu which made them laugh. Yuna could drink quite a lot though, apparently 10 beers or so. They asked if I like Japanese beer and I said yes but I also like sake. They asked if I like Dassai and I said yes and they gave a weird reaction so I asked if Dassai is dasai (lame) which just made them say I have good Japanese Around this time, a band started playing and they were quite good. Misaki was a bit touchy especially when drunk and our legs leaned against each other. Yuna was a little touchy and we got quite close when the band was around since we couldn’t hear each other. She also slapped me and covered my mouth for some reason when I asked why she didn’t like Japanese nightclubs. When we cheersed, Yuna started laughing because the girls said cheers and I said kanpai. Also, the girls were speaking in English while I spoke in Japanese. They also said I was a gentleman for bringing water to the table, especially for Misaki. Misaki said her English wasn’t good but Yuna said she improved a lot because she was less shy and also she would speak to people at Lentils. They asked me how long the Japanese girls (Ayumi and Mina) had been at Lentils and they were surprised to hear they had only been there about a week earlier as they thought they had been there a while. They asked if there were a lot of Japanese at Lentils and I said yes and I confirmed that it was mostly women. When the band was setting up, I asked if they could play any instruments. Yuna said she couldn’t but she could sing a lot of pop songs including American pop songs like Ariana Grande. Misaki said she could play piano since she would sing, play, and watch the kids (she loves kids). I asked if they liked dancing and they both said not really and that Japanese can’t really dance although apparently Yuna could do some samba. We talked about Mandarin and Korean and they were saying how Korean grammar is very similar to Japanese and I mentioned how Japanese was the easiest to pronounce. We got on the subject of roommates and Yuna said there were four in her room including her but eight people in total. Most were Brazilian but there was also a German and Colombian. Misaki had another roommate who is Japanese but she didn't know her she although she thought she is about 29. Talking about age, I said I am old. Yuna said I'm not but she forgot my age and thought I am about 25. When I told her I am older she said it's fine and she likes older and calm people because people who are too wild are too much for her. They were surprised when I remembered where they live.

Misaki asked me why I wore glasses today and I said because it’s a long day. I asked if they were bad but she said she prefers with glasses. She asked Yuna as she came back from the toilet if she thought so too but Yuna said she prefers without. Around this time, Misaki went to the toilet and I asked if Yuna wore glasses and she said only before she goes to bed. I said I actually like girls with glasses and she tried on mine. I told her she was very cute with it and she said I can’t see but I told her I can see since we’re close to each other.

They hadn’t eaten yet but when I asked if they wanted to eat they said they needed to do homework. We walked over to the CBD area and talked about how cold it was. I said for Japan though, this shouldn’t be cold but they said because they could only bring limited clothes, they were quite cold. I also said I didn’t like hot weather but they liked hot weather. I said hot weather makes me feel sleepy and even if I am naked, it is still too hot. Yuna asked if I smoke and I said no. I asked if she did and she said she used to but she stopped because it was too expensive here in Sydney. She also switched to electronic cigarettes but doesn’t use those anymore. I asked if Misaki smoked too and she said never. She said it wasn’t healthy. I asked Yuna how long she smoked for and when she started thinking about the answer, I asked if she started smoking as a baby. She laughed and said no about 6 or 7 years. We passed by a NAB and Yuna asked if it was a bank and I said yes it is.

Before we all headed home, we stopped by the Woolies since they were planning to cook tomorrow’s meal as they always cooked. They had shown me the meals they had cooked earlier including karaage, okonimyaki, and omelette which looked very tasty. They mentioned tamagoyaki which I didn’t know how to translate into English. At woolies they looked for food but apparently it was more expensive than Coles (carrots were almost twice as much) so we left. Yuna asked me if woolies is always expensive and I said not if there’s a sale. We had to depart in different directions but since it would be the last time I see her, I asked Misaki if she’s going to Lentils on Thursday but since it would be the last time, she said she would go.

[samuelanugrahandre-blog]

SPIRITED AWAY (2001, directed by Hayao Miyazaki)

[FILM REVIEW]

I was just a couple months after graduated from school, that was the time I personally watched Spirited Away. I watched many animated films (and tv series) but this one film is different.

Then I decided to spend my time watching Spirited Away. This film was not what I expected. At first glance, it looked good. Then it became great and one second after that, it became awesome. From the moment Chihiro and her family enter a long dark tunnel, I expected something big is about to happen. Same as other fantasy films, director and animator Hayao Miyazaki use a tunnel (and usually a door) as a way to transport between reality and fiction. But in Miyazaki’s world, the fiction is as real as reality. I remember one time when Chihiro watches her parents eat a ton of food voraciously, I recalled there was a time I ate food that voraciously too when I was so hungry and I realized, after seeing that scene, it looked so barbarian and unethical. When the sun sets, Chihiro slowly enters into the world of fiction: the world of other creatures. There’s a reason why I said that Miyazaki depicts fiction as real as reality. Our reality, our society has rules, ethics and how-to-do and not-to-do list. In Miyazaki’s fiction, it has a clear set of rules and society. We see that the Bathhouse that is run by Yubabaa in Spirited Away has structure and management. It operates like real corporation with workers have their own time to work, have a time to pick up their lunch, have different job descriptions. Other areas in the Bathhouse have “Fire Room” to heat the water used for guest baths, workers’ room to sleep, train and its system of tickets of transportation. All these aspects of the Bathhouse makes it seem like a real workplace, not just a film props. This realism aspect of Miyazaki films (in this case, Spirited Away) makes the story and its world believeable, that somehow we can believe that its world is real, even though it’s not.

One of the things that people love about this film is its feminism, which I strongly agree and am grateful that Spirited Away encourages female protagonist, not to defeat villains, but to discover the good in everybody. But here, I do want to point out another greatest thing about this film: it serves as a critique to our society (especially Japanese society) and nature. You see, at a scene where Chihiro is on a lift riding up with a giant creature/god. One of the floors they stumble upon is a hallway of shut sliding doors full with shadows of creatures/gods having fun, perhaps drinking. We hear a lot of women’s voices, which I assume maids. This is a representation of sex society Japanese people live with. Miyazaki personally said that Japanese society has drown deeply into culture of sex and Spirited Away is his way to critique it. This is clever and subtle but it hold onto our head for a long time. The Bathhouse is a critique and representation of sex society but it also, at one time, represents healing. There’s a scene where The Stink God appears, everybody in the film is disgusted by him. But Chihiro stays loyal to her work and it turns out that The Stink God is actually A River God but became dirty and stinky because of the pollution and trash that human usually throw into a river or a sea. Because of the unusual storytelling that Miyazaki uses, this kind of critiques actually resonate stronger than just telling people “it’s bad to throw away trash not in its place”, it needs an practical example and representation. Characters in Spirited Away are not clear black and white, they’re grey. They have motivations for what they do, reasons behind what they do, they have feelings, they have their own personalities and they’re not clearly good or bad. Kaonashi/No-Face, for example, is an excellent character that I believe he’s a creature nobody wants, nobody understands him, nobody seeks him but Chihiro (Sen) lets him into the Bathhouse out of pity. No-Face considers Chihiro to be the only one that understands him, therefore he wants to help her anyway he can even though his methods are extreme. He’s lost and needs guidance. We, as an audience, become sympathetic with him and starts to have an urge to help him because Chihiro sees the good in him and wants to help him. Yubaaba shows a tender side of her in front of her beloved baby grandchild and even more fleshed out when we are introduced to Zenibaa, her twin. This is the kind of film that doesn’t dwell on good vs bad, it dwells on characters based on their situations, motivations, reasons.

Spirited Away is a fantasy, it has magic but its magic also has its rules. So even though it doesn’t tell deeply about rules of magic but it does tell that there are sets of rules to perform magic so, as an audience, we believe it. And also, Spirited Away celebrated moments of silence. Unlike many American Animations where everything starts from action to action to action, Spirited Away builds its anticipation and progression through a couple of moments of silence. It makes for dramatic moments even more dramatic and it’s not boring. It’s not an understatement that Spirited Away is often listed in a list of Best Animated Films Of All Time and keep being studied among animation filmmakers and studios like Pixar, Disney, Aardman and others. It’s a film where its gorgeous art and animation meets with masterful storytelling and packs full of messages. It’s a film which you love every time you watch it and discover something every time you spend time with it.

It is one of my favorite films of all time.

FINAL REVIEW 10/10 👍👍👍