#all is calm until atom gets engulfed by a wave of his hair

[atomra]

Atom isnt very good at doing hair, but alucard is right there to practice on 🦇⚛️

[kookingtae]

the equation of love (pt. 10)

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt. 10

professor yoongi x uni student reader

→scenario: When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

→genre: smut | fluff | angst

→word count: 10.5k

→a/n: alternatively: fuck it, it’s been five years and this wip has been staring at me for three of them, so im just gonna post it. i have not read this over since 2018, so pls dont judge me too harshly hhsdg it’s unedited and probably a bit cringy, but then again what ch of teol isnt? this is NOT all that i have planned for the series, but i figured something is better than nothing, right? and perhaps the saying better later than never applies here, too. maybe one day i’ll finally get around to finishing it (by then im sure no one will even be around to remember what teol is lmao) but until then, enjoy what ive been sitting on! and as always, if you’re still here, thank you for your endless patience and support with this series <3

→another a/n: after this will probably be an epilogue!

→tw: mentions of��blackmail, r*pe and sexual assault (we mostly just get closure on the whole professor lee & jun situation!!)

→warning: this chapter is not a happy ending, but it’s not necessarily a BAD one either, so for those who don’t like to finish on an unhappy note, it’s up to you on whether you’d like to read it or wait for the epilogue to be posted!

Running water.

It was such a simple yet fascinating concept—atoms and molecules coming together to form the only substance on earth that has a natural state in all forms, while having the power to kill in three different ways. Solid, by hypothermia; liquid, by drowning; gas, by suffocation. This substance can take three different forms, yet it's most commonly a liquid, covering nearly 71% of the world with translucent bodies of water. Oceans, ponds, lakes—though the most enchanting of them all were rivers. They were always moving, crashing beyond rocks and bustling with the flow of the current and gravitational pull of the earth. Rivers were passionate, and strong, and no matter how hard one tried they couldn't break the whipping tide that was pushing against them. Nothing could cause the powerful force to falter.

But, like most things, even rivers must come to an end. The current stops flowing, and the waves stop breaking around the jagged rocks, and the powerful force that seemed it would never end dulls to a still, calm lull, as if the river was nothing more than a brief yet raging storm. All the passion, all the fight—over in a blink of an eye, left to dissipate into the mysteries of the vast ocean.

Staring down at the picture on the cell phone screen in front of me was like getting pulled by the current of a river; down, down, down I flowed until there was no river left around me and I was left stranded in the middle of the sea. Yoongi and I were once raging, and passionate, and ready to fight against anyone who tried to tear us down, but now the fight was over. We had been dragged too far, fading into a body of water that was not our own. This was bigger than us.

Yes, like the flow of a river, all things must come to an end.

"That's it," Yoongi gritted his teeth, and I felt the dip of the mattress beneath me as he rose to his feet in anger.

"Yoongi," I called his name in a warning tone, warily standing up from the bed and watching him move around the room. "What are you doing?"

"I'm over it," he said, hastily throwing the first articles of clothing he could grab from his drawers over his body. "I'm done dealing with all of this, Y/N! I'm going up to the school."

Despite the flare of determination that sparked in my heart at his words, his rage seeming to radiate off of him and onto me as well, I couldn't help the trepidation that I was also filled with; Yoongi didn't have a history of making rational decisions out of anger.

"Don't you think you should calm down first?" I offered, trying my best to match his pace around the room.

"No!" Yoongi suddenly skidded to a halt in front of me, his eyes wild and crazed. "I'm going to find her and I'm going to fucking kill her!"

I could only stand with a gaping mouth and watch as he stormed out of the room, leaving me with no choice but to pull on my old clothes and chase his stomping foot steps. He grabbed his keys before storming out of the apartment, down the stairs, and outside into the parking lot. I tried to ignore the blindingly bright sunlight as I squinted my eyes and continued after him.

"Follow me up to the school," Yoongi barked as he hopped into his car.

"Yoongi–" I started, but my consoling voice was cut off by the slam of his door. I frowned, scrambling to unlock my vehicle as his engine roared to life.

The drive to the university was a nerve-wracking one. I kept a watchful eye on Yoongi to make sure he wasn't speeding or swerving all over the road; they say you're not supposed to operate a vehicle while you're upset. Though it would seem my efforts were futile, because he did in fact speed and swerve, and all I could do was frown and try to keep up.

It wasn't that I wasn't angered by Professor Lee; I was furious, rage and disgust and frustration all stewing inside of me like a pot of water that was ready to boil over. But I just couldn't help but worry for Yoongi. I had always been the non-confrontational type, always hoping that with a little time things would get better if they were ignored long enough. But it would seem that my method was proven inefficient today, because as much as I had tried to ignore her antics, that wicked woman wouldn't stop at anything to make sure Yoongi and I were properly dragged through the mud and going down like a ship engulfed in flames. Yet as much as that angered me, I couldn't bare the thought of the turmoil it was causing Yoongi. I didn't know when I had started casting my own feelings aside and putting his above—it was a gradual thing rather than one, defining moment—but it was only another factor that proved how much I actually loved this man. And that very thought instilled a fear that shook me to the very bone.

We had a lot more to lose now than just his job and my education. We could be losing us. And that was more important now than it had ever been before.

Once we arrived at the university there were a lot of screeching brakes, messy parking and fumbling hands as I scrambled to catch up to his looming figure that seemed to stalk towards the building at an unnatural pace. The pounding of my heavy heartbeat was what drove me forward, anxiety rising with each quickened step that I took.

"Yoongi!" I yelled once I had lessened the distance between us, now dead center on the campus sidewalk. "Yoongi, wait!"

All of a sudden he whirled around, his abrupt halt causing me to crash straight into his chest. I let out a yelp in surprise, eyes wide and ready to interrogate him, before I felt the smooth curvature of his palms on either side of my face as he tilted my head up to his and slammed his mouth onto mine.

The world stopped spinning for a moment, everything around me fading into the motions of his plush skin, his soft lips exploding with flavor and spilling over my tastebuds, satisfying my thirst in a way that no water ever could. I didn't even question it for a second before I was melting into him, quite literally becoming putty in his hands as the rest of the world instantaneously escaped my mind.

It's funny the way that worked—the way he was able to completely erase everything that had once existed in the blink of an eye, just by his simple touch. Whether it was magic, or I was just that fucking whipped, I didn't know. But either way, I didn't possess the power to stop it even if I wanted to.

When Yoongi finally broke away, he was breathing heavily, his breath fanning across my face in cool puffs of air. "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore," he spoke onto my lips, his forehead pressing against mine with a firm force. "Let them see. The only thing I care about is you."

It was then that I was suddenly aware of our surroundings, the reality of our world crashing down around me as I glanced around at all the eyes watching us. It varied; there were those choosing to spare us a glance as they walked to and from their classes, those who stalled their current actions to lift their heads to us not once, not twice, but three times, and then there were those who stopped altogether, their widened eyes and slackened jaws dead giveaways that they knew exactly who Yoongi was: Professor Min, Algebra 101 instructor.

A stroke of his thumb across my cheek brought my attention back to him; I stared up into his eyes, the desperate look in them captivating me and making it impossible to look away. His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt, his fingers were grappling at my face as he brushed my wisps of hair out of the way, silently begging me to understand, to agree with him.

And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.

My lungs were filled with a breath of newfound determination, dazed and driven by Yoongi's words and embrace. "I love you," I spoke with conviction, caressing the nape of his neck as if to give him more reassurance. "Let's go.”

With that I grabbed his hand, holding my head high for the rest of the campus to see as I started up Yoongi's stride towards the school's building. He was right beside me, weaving his fingers through mine and giving my hand an extra squeeze as if to say that he was here, that he was proud to let the world know that I was his and he was mine, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

We were going to take down Professor Lee.

The seminar room was empty of students when we stormed in. Seats were placed throughout the floor, papers were scattered on the desks, and Professor Lee was at the front of the room, fiddling with the cords from the projector screen.

At the sound of the door opening, her head snapped up. "Well well well, look what we have here," she smirked when she saw us, making no plans to move as she saw me marching over to her. "You know, I really don't think–"

Slap!

The impact of my palm to her face cut off her words, skin on skin contact crackling through the room and echoing into a deafening silence.

Professor Lee gasped, immediately grasping where a red mark was now forming on her cheek before looking up at me with wild eyes. "You just slapped me!" She cried in disbelief.

"You're damn right I did," I gritted my teeth, taking a threatening step towards her and raising my palm. "Want me to do it again?"

It was then that I felt Yoongi's hand on my back, the feeling having an instant calming effect over my senses whether he wanted it to or not. I sighed before visibly relaxing and lowering my hand.

"You're barbaric!" Professor Lee was foaming at the mouth, still holding her face with a slack jaw. "Are you forgetting that I'm a professor? When Dr. Kim finds out about this, I swear he'll–"

"Tell him!" I roared as loud as my vocal chords would let me. "Tell whoever, tell the whole world, I don't fucking care! I'm done with your bullshit, you selfish psychotic witch!"

With that I gave her one final shove against her shoulders, and when both of her hands flew out to grab ahold her surroundings in an effort to keep from falling over, I planted another slap right across her face. The impact stung my hand, but I didn't care. Seeing Professor Lee stumble through the air was worth it.

"Baby," Yoongi spoke in a gentle yet warning tone next to me, and I had almost forgotten he was there until I felt his grip slightly tighten around my waist. It was a comforting hold, as if to say he completely trusted and supported whatever I chose to do in this situation, but still a protective hold nonetheless. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get myself hurt.

"You know, what is your problem, exactly?" I tilted my head at her as she struggled to get her bearings straight. "Is there an actual reason you're doing all of this, or are you just mentally insane?"

"It–it's not right!" Professor Lee stuttered with wide eyes, raising a shaky finger to point at me and Yoongi. "Your relationship, it's–"

"Oh cut the bullshit, Sara," Yoongi let out a sound of disgust from beside me. "We all know that's not why."

"I... I..." she stumbled for words, wide eyes glancing back and forth between the two of us. "Who do you guys think you are? You can't just storm in here and start attacking me–"

I took a menacing step forward, pure rage making up for what I lacked in intimidation. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed, reaching out to grab her again.

"No, please!" She suddenly cowered before I could get to her, shielding her head away from me with her arms. "I—Yoongi, I'm in love with you!"

Her confession sent me reeling backwards in a downwards spiral, my body instantly going limp as I watched her with a dumbfounded expression. A vast silence echoed throughout the room that could be cut with a knife before she finally spoke again.

"Ever since you started working here, I knew you were the one. I just knew it." Her voice was sad, exhausted now, and a look of defeat washed over her features.

"What?" Yoongi gaped in disbelief. "Sara, that was two years ago!"

"I know!" She spat harshly. "You don't think I know that? For two years, I had to deal with this silly crush I had on you. I had to spend every day with you, watching it bloom into love overtime, and there was nothing I could do about it."

"You could've just told me!" Yoongi exclaimed as if that was the obvious answer.

Professor Lee snorted humorlessly. "Yeah, and be made a fool of? No thanks." She lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Sara, we're grown adults. You could've acted like one and fucking said something to me about it, made a move, anything but drag my career under the bus!" Yoongi's voice was strained now, his eyes wide as if silently begging her to understand him while he was equally trying to understand her.

"I was going to!" She lashed out again while whipping her head up towards him. "I was working up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then I see that fucking slut on your lap and I–"

"Don't you dare call Y/N that," Yoongi suddenly growled, pushing past me and stepping towards her intimidatingly. "One more thing out of your mouth about her and I swear to god I will kill you right here, right now."

My breath hitched in my throat at his threat and I couldn't help but weave my arm around his to grab his hand, intertwining our fingers and squeezing tightly. He gripped mine back even tighter, as if he was desperately trying to latch onto whatever calming effect I seemed to have over him.

Professor Lee swallowed, choosing to stay silent and watch him carefully as jagged breaths rose and fell from her chest. "The point is," she continued on, "I saw you with someone else—someone who wasn't me. And that completely tore my heart to shreds."

"So the only solution is to ruin our lives," I chimed in sarcastically.

"I may not have gone about it the best way," she quickly gritted her teeth and shot me a glare before turning her attention back to Yoongi, "but I had to act on instinct. I still wanted to be with you, so I figured that maybe if I split the two of you up, you would have no one else to turn to but me."

Yoongi just stared at her, his face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and disgust. "Do you know how sick and twisted that is?" He asked.

"All I ever wanted was to be with you, Yoongi," she pleaded, her tone vulnerable now as she took a tentative step towards him and started to raise her hand up to caress his cheek. "I still do. It's not too late; we can leave now, just you and me and forget this whole thing–"

"Don't fucking touch me," he knocked her hand away with his forearm just before it could reach his face. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're even crazier than I thought." He then stepped back to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me securely into his side. "I'm in love with Y/N, and I don't give a shit what rumors you or anyone else wants to spread about it. You're fucking pathetic."

At that moment there was the sound of a door bursting open, causing the three of us to turn our attention to the entrance of the room. There, standing in the doorway, was Dr. Kim.

The sight of him immediately deflated the elation I was feeling from Yoongi's words, instantly replacing them with a sense of anxiety and fear that lodged its way into my throat until I was sure I would die from suffocation. This was it; according to the text from Professor Lee, he had already seen the picture of me and Yoongi kissing. This was the moment that would decide our future forever.

I just hoped we had enough evidence against Professor Lee for him to take our side.

"So let me get this straight." Dr. Kim folded his hands on the dark oak wood of his office desk. "Professor Min and Y/N had relations before Y/N became a student here, while Yoongi was unaware of her age?"

"Yes sir," Yoongi nodded his head in assurance.

"And then you continued your relationship, even after finding out that she was your student."

"He didn't at first," I interjected in hopes of getting some of the heat off of Yoongi. "He tried to call it off, but I kept pushing it. The reason we got back together during school was my fault, not his."

Yoongi's eyes met mine from the chair next to me, his gaze seeming to hold the words that silently spoke that's not true, and I instantly knew what he was thinking. In actuality, he had been the one to give me after-school tutoring on that Saturday during the homecoming football game, not I. He had been the one to kiss me first that day. But there was no way in hell I would ever tell that to the dean.

"I don't care whose fault it is; all that matters is that it happened," Dr. Kim frowned. "And it's still happening if I'm not mistaken, correct?"

"I... um," my eyes flickered to Yoongi, every fiber of my being starting to fill with panic. Shit, we should've discussed this beforehand. I wasn't going to willingly rat Yoongi out, no matter how many times he's said he didn't care anymore if people knew about us.

Suddenly I felt the warm, soft sensation of skin wrapping around the curvature of my hand that was resting atop the wooden armrest. "Yes, it's still happening," Yoongi spoke, and then his fingers were intertwining with mine.

I practically choked on my own spit at his words; did this boy have a death wish? A cough came sputtering out of my lungs, the sound causing everyone in the room to look at me until I'd settled down. Even Professor Lee leaned forward from her seat on the other side of Yoongi, bewilderment written all over her expression as she gave me a look of disgust.

"Well there's your proof right there." She threw her hands up in defeat before gesturing to the two of us. "What more do you need? Expel them, Dr. Kim."

"B–but that's not it!" I suddenly exclaimed and lurched forward, feeling the heat of everyone's stare on our embraced hands, which in turn only made me grip him even harder for support. "Dr. Kim, you have to believe me when I tell you that Professor Lee has worked hard to make my life a living hell ever since I got to this school. She had a vendetta against me; she's in love with Yoongi, and so she–"

"That's not true!" Professor Lee screeched.

"She worked to turn people against us rather than coming to you because she wanted to blackmail Yoongi into being with her," I ignored her interjection and continued. "She even made a seminar about it—the mandatory seminar that everyone attended today!"

The dean turned his attention towards her. "The seminar about the importance of practicing safe sex?" He questioned in bewilderment.

My eyes practically bulged out of my head at his words; that's what she was telling everyone it was about?

"It was!" She scrambled in defense. "I mean I... I may have brought up Yoongi and Y/N as an example, but that's only because they fit the part! Y/N had a pregnancy scare not too long ago, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to our students!"

I felt the color draining from my face, blanching it a stone cold white and decimating any feeling I had left in my body.

How the fuck did she know about the pregnancy?

My head instantly whipped towards Yoongi to see if he had any logical explanation for this, and his face was as poised and stoic as ever in front of his two colleagues—but I could see through it. I knew him well enough to catch onto the slightest falter in his blinking, the increase in heat that collected between our palms, the small twitch of his mouth that would've gone unnoticed by anyone else who observed him. I knew there was no way he could've told Professor Lee about the pregnancy, because he was just as blindsided as I was.

Dr. Kim simply raised his eyebrows in interest before turning back to Yoongi and me.

"Dr. Kim," Yoongi spoke, his voice dripping with amusement, "I mean no disrespect, but do you honestly think that if Y/N had a pregnancy scare, we would tell Sara about it? Come on; not after all she did to us."

"They—they didn't tell me!" Professor Lee huffed out a desperate breath. "I overheard them while I was–"

"While you were what?" I interrupted with a raise of my eyebrow. "While you were spying on us to find any blackmail you could use on Yoongi?"

"N–no!" She stuttered, though at this point it was obvious that she was making up lies on the spot. "While I was walking past the classroom!"

"Why would we be talking about that with the door open?!"

"Enough!" Dr. Kim barked, his deep voice rumbling throughout the small office. We all grew silent as we turned our attention to him. "There will be no arguing of he said/she said in my office," he scolded, then turned his attention to Yoongi before speaking. "I understand that there was someone you wanted me to see?"

Yoongi, who had remained calm during all of this, simply nodded his head before releasing my hand. "Yes, sir," he said as he stood up and walked towards the door.

My eyebrows were knitted in confusion as I watched it all transpire: the words exchanged between the two men, Yoongi rising out of his seat, the sight of my biology professor being revealed behind the closed door. The whole thing came as a surprise to me, and my emotions seemed to be having a war between the shock and relief that I felt raging like a storm in the pit of my stomach.

Why didn't Yoongi tell me about Professor Park being involved in this discussion? When did he have time to ask her to come? Did it even matter at this point?

"Professor Park," Dr. Kim widened his eyes, his frame physically reclining back in his seat. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"As am I to be here," she smiled though her voice was venomous, eyes flashing to a very alarmed Professor Lee.

"Mia?!" The woman barked in disbelief at her friend's entrance. "What are you doing here?"

"Something I should've done a long time ago," Professor Park replied, and with that she turned towards the dean and opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm here to testify on the behalf of Min Yoongi and Y/N."

Earth-shattering elation rippled through me from the inside out, starting at the base of my toes and spiraling to the top of my head and the tips of my fingers, causing them to tingle and buzz with a newfound sense of hope. We might actually have a chance!

"What?!" Professor Lee's voice ripped through the air in a deafening screech. "This isn't a court case! You don't get to play witness!"

"Actually, if Professor Park has witnessed anything, I would definitely like to know," Dr. Kim chimed in, raising an eyebrow towards my biology professor.

Professor Park nodded her head towards him in appreciation before speaking. "A few months ago Sara approached me in my classroom to tell me about the nasty rumors that were surrounding her and a student. She singled the student out, saying to purposely damage their grades because they were treating her unfairly and disrespecting her rules and authority as a professor; she even went so far as to say that they were sending her death threats"

"What?!" The word ripped from my throat faster than I could blink as I stared jaw-dropped at the women in the room.

"That's not true!" Professor Lee instantly protested as expected. "Sir, I can assure you that I never–"

"I have the text messages if you want," Professor Park offered in a tone so nonchalant one would've thought she was conversing about the weather.

Dr. Kim raised an eyebrow. "Text messages? I thought you said she came by your class?"

"She did, sir." Mia interlaced her fingers in front of her and bowed her head politely. "We spoke about it on multiple occasions. I asked why she wouldn't just go to you, or even the authorities if the student was making death threats, but Sara was adamant. She didn't want any scandals revolving around her so that she could maintain the level of professionalism that she had developed here."

I heard a snort coming from next to me, and it was with a swollen heart of pride that I realized the sound came from Yoongi trying to hold in a laugh.

Professionalism? Her? I had never heard anything so far fetched in my life.

Sara simply glared as Mia ignored him and continued. "She assured me that the best way to deal with this pesky student was to slowly start to fail them, and I'll admit, I was angry for her. Sara was my friend, and I respected her enough to believe what she was telling me and follow her requests." She turned her head to where I sat on the other side of Yoongi. "That student was you, Y/N. And I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the way I handled things. You were treated unfairly and poorly due to false information."

"It wasn't false!" Professor Lee jumped in to defend herself, but everyone was pretty much ignoring her. Even the dean could tell she was playing the part of the boy who cried wolf at this point.

"I'd like to see those text messages, if you don't mind." Dr. Kim reached his hand out expectantly.

There was a brief moment of silence while Professor Park nodded and tapped away on her phone before handing it to him. His cold and calculated eyes scanned the screen while saying nothing, all three of us waiting with bated breath for him to come to a decision in his mind.

There was no where left for her to run. With these text messages, all the constant denying that Professor Lee has done will be proven false and she will be exposed for all the hell she's put me through this semester. My heart was practically bursting at the thought.

"Well I would've appreciated it if you ladies had come to me with this information instead of handling it amongst yourselves, true or not," Dr. Kim finally sighed before giving Sara his full attention. "Ms. Lee, you have three people accusing you. Even if you didn't do it, there's obviously something that's turning them against you. And here at this university we strive to hold cooperation and communication above all else. If you don't get along with the fellow staff here, then why should I believe that they're the problem and not you?"

"Um, because Min Yoongi is fucking his student?!" Professor Lee was fuming now, her upper body lurching forward in her seat and her hands gripping the arm rests for dear life. "He literally just admitted to it!"

"Language, Ms. Lee," Dr. Kim scolded calmly. "I still like to maintain a professional attitude here in my office."

"I apologize sir, but that's beside the point." She was sitting back in her seat now, though her tone was no less frantic. "Min Yoongi is in a relationship with his student, and staff cooperation or not, I don't really think that's in the teacher handbook." She raised a snarky eyebrow at us as if believing that she had finally won.

I knitted my eyebrows, my palms feeling slick with a nervous sweat against Yoongi's as I realized the bigger problem here. It wasn't whatever lies and schemes Professor Lee had cooked up with my biology teacher; it wasn't even Professor Lee herself. It was the fact that Yoongi and I were in a relationship, and that was going to have enough consequences alone to shake me to my very core with fear.

"She's right," Dr. Kim uttered the words that I was silently hoping he wouldn't say, my grip tightening on Yoongi as I anticipated whatever outcome he's decided. Our fate was in his hands.

"Of course I am." Professor Lee crossed her arms and sat back in her seat with a smug grin.

"I'm afraid I have no choice." He was shaking his head, frowning at us apologetically though the sentiment didn't reach his eyes. "Mr. Min, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to be forced to resign from our university."

The color instantly drained from my face, and with it pulling all five senses that I have into the depths of the earth until I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't speak—I could barely even breathe. There was a lump that was forming in my throat and settling deep within my gut, all of this feeling fake, too fake to be real.

Yoongi was fired, and it was all because of me.

"I understand, sir."

It was Yoongi's words that were pulling me from my fog of disbelief and devastation, my eyes blinking in an effort to snap back to reality as I looked from him to the dean. "No. No, there has to be something we can do, please!" I begged, my voice starting to get frantic the more the severity of the situation hit me. "I–I'll drop out! You don't have to worry about me ever coming near here again, just please, please don't fire him!"

"Y/N..." Yoongi's voice was quiet and full of resignation, defeat, but I wasn't giving up.

"Yoongi is an amazing professor who has worked here for, what, two years? He's extraordinary at what he does and students love him. It's not easy to find a professor like that everyday." I was staring into the eyes of the dean now, trying to move him with my words. "You shouldn't throw away someone as great as him just because of some stupid 18 year old's mistake! Please, Dr Kim." I leaned forward in my seat, the room silent as I spoke. "He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Please, let me suffer the consequences, not him."

I continued to stare in Dr. Kim's eyes, silently channeling my emotions through the pleading expression in my eyes, and it wasn't until I felt a comforting hand on my back that I was instantly drawn away into a more calm state in my chair. I gazed over at the owner of the hand, and he flashed back that smile I loved except it was sad, and it didn't reach his eyes, and I could tell there was so much he wanted to say to me right now if we weren't in the confinement of his boss' office.

"I understand your efforts, Y/N, but there's nothing I can do." Dr. Kim shook his head, and it was as if the world around me was shattering into blades of glass, scraping at my skin and leaving bloody wounds that I knew would never heal. "Mr. Min was involved in this relationship as well, and no matter whose fault it is, the professor needs to be held accountable. There is a level of professionalism and maturity that he must possess in order to work here; he's your superior, a respectable authority figure, and so he should've known better."

It was all I could do to keep from crying as I lowered my eyes and shook my head, every inch of my heart breaking for Yoongi until all that was left were tiny fragments to scatter in the wind. I couldn't believe I'd done this to him. The very thing he'd been worried about from the start—I had ruined his career.

"It is our goal as a university to see our students succeed," he continued, though I could barely hear a thing. "As for you, Y/N, I see no reason as to why you shouldn't keep attending this university."

I blinked a few times, confused. "You want me to... what?"

"You will have a suspension on your student records, mind you, and one more of those will lead to expulsion," he explained. "Though that doesn't mean that you can't keep going to school here. You will have to meet with an advisor every two weeks, though, who will be keeping a close watch on your behavior."

I could barely even believe my ears; had my hearing been completely lost due to the shock of the situation? "That's totally a double standard!" I gestured to Yoongi in disbelief.

"Y/N, it's okay..." Yoongi tried to calm me down.

"No, it's not okay!" I roared, eyes wide and brows furrowed in disbelief as I glanced at him before turning back to the dean. "Where do you think you can get off by treating people like this? This is his career—his life!"

"That will be enough from you, Ms. Y/N," Dr. Kim bellowed in a stern voice as he frowned. "I'm doing you a favor here by letting you continue your education. Speak out against me one more time and I will be revoking that offer."

His words were deafening throughout the office; it was suddenly understandable why he was so feared by those who worked under him. Yoongi started to run his hand along my spine in a soothing manner, and though it helped relax my fiery nerves and clear my foggy mind, I was still just as upset—if not more, now that the information was beginning to settle in.

"So that's it then?" Professor Lee spoke for the first time in a while, her lips pressed into a firm line, obviously disappointed by the turn of events though she didn't dare to speak out against Dr. Kim as he had warned. "Yoongi gets fired and Y/N gets a free ride?"

"Not so fast, Ms. Lee." The dean turned to her. "What you did was beyond unprofessional. You violated several school policies as well as bullied a student! Do you think that type of behavior is acceptable as a professor?"

Professor Lee opened her mouth as if to protest before slowly shutting it again, realizing that she had nothing left that she hadn't already denied. It was obvious that the evidence given to him by Professor Park, who stood silent in the corner of the room, was incriminating enough to sway his decision.

"I'm sorry to have to inform you that you will be fired as well."

"What?!" Her shrill voice screeched through the air, tearing whatever I had left of my eardrums and rendering me deaf here in this office. "What I did was no where near as bad as Yoongi and Y/N!"

"If anything, it was worse." Dr. Kim folded his hands over his desk. "Let's not forget that you managed to involve the entire student body in a false seminar that maliciously exposed one of our students and professors," he raised an eyebrow at her, "and that was just today."

"Yeah, not to mention all the other shit you did behind my back to make my life a living hell," I couldn't help from interjecting in a heated tone, though I backed off upon seeing the dean's stern gaze.

He redirected his attention back to Sara. "Here at this university, we strive to have a professional relationship, safe environment, and healthy lifestyle for our students. Neither of you achieved those three goals, so both of you will have to be let go."

Yoongi's expression simply remained placid and free of any emotion while Professor Lee's reaction was practically visceral, though neither spoke a word as heavy silence fell over the small office.

"Am I... am I still needed, sir?" It was Professor Park whose voice broke through the tension, everyone having forgotten she was there in the midst of the emotion-filled chaos. "Because if not, then I'm going to go."

"No, I'm just about finished here." Dr. Kim let out a sigh, as if what just transpired had been hard on him out of all people in the room. My blood boiled just looking at him, though I know I had to learn when to speak out and when to bite my tongue as Yoongi had taught me.

"Dr. Kim, is there any way you can reconsi–"

"That will be enough from you, Ms. Lee," his booming voice interrupted the frantic professor. "I've said all that I need to say on the matter. I'm not changing my mind."

"Dr. Kim?" I spoke up just as Professor Lee and Professor Park were getting ready to walk out the door. "I–I have something else to tell you. Un-related to this," I threw in when I saw him throw a glance in Lee's direction.

The man sighed before waving them out, leaving his office empty of visitors other than me and Yoongi in the chairs. I wasn't going to let that boy go anywhere.

"Y/N, I'm sorry that the outcome isn't exactly what you wanted but I'm afraid there's nothing I can–"

"Choi Junwoo tried to rape me," I blurted out.

There was a moment's pause as the dean was stunned silent with wide eyes, and out of my peripheral vision I could see Yoongi tense up and inhale sharply next to me.

"W–what–"

"Choi Junwoo," I spoke slowly for him so that he'd understand, "a student here at this university, tried to rape me at a frat party."

I couldn't leave the office without saying it. I couldn't leave the office without telling him. This wasn't just about me or the turmoil or trauma he caused; this was for every other girl in the future who might be a victim of Jun. Though in my heart I truthfully believed he was a good person, and that he really was just intoxicated beyond belief that night, it was still no excuse. If he had rape-tendencies while he was drunk and I didn't speak out about it, then I would be no better when it came to helping other sexual assault victims.

"Are you sure–"

"I found them at the party while he was mid-act," Yoongi jumped in, probably figuring he was already fired so there was nothing left for him to lose when it came to revealing details about our relationship outside of school. "It was... disgusting. I got her out of there immediately, but not before punching that bastard in the face."

"Metaphorically, of course!" I couldn't help but chime in, not wanting an assault charge to be on his record as well.

Thankfully Dr. Kim simply brushed off that minuet detail in favor for the more important issue at hand. "Y/N, what you're telling me will ruin this student's future. Are you absolutely sure you want to file this?"

Despite the anger that swelled up inside of me from him questioning my accusation, I still couldn't help the little trickle of doubt that crept in as I considered his words. At one point, Jun had been a friend... maybe even a potential lover had Yoongi not been in the picture. Dr. Kim was right, this information could potentially ruin his reputation, his education, his record... was I ready to carry the weight of knowledge that I've ruined someone's life forever?

"What are you talking about? Of course!" Yoongi spat an answer before I even had a chance to finish my thoughts. "She told you what happened, didn't she? Why would she speak out about something like this if she was making it up?"

"Maybe a personal vendetta?" The dean shrugged his shoulders. "People will do crazy things for revenge."

Now that got me heated. "The only one who wanted revenge here was Junwoo!" I stood up from my seat to yell. "He liked me and was mad that I turned him down. As if I owed my feelings to him or something! And when I told him no, he forced himself on me?! Is that really the type of message you want to send at this college? You know, since you're so high and mighty on "cooperation"," I did air quotes of sarcasm around my last words, my ears practically steaming with boiling rage.

"We will come out about this story, by the way," Yoongi added in, his voice full of venom. "And how will that look if you tried to keep us silent?"

"You can forget about me attending this university," I hissed.

"Alright, alright, settle down, the both of you," Dr. Kim lowered his hands in a calming manner. "I was not suggesting I buy your silence or anything of that nature. I was simply making sure you wanted to go through with this."

"Yes," Yoongi and I both answered in unison.

The dean nodded his head before clasping his hands together. "Alright."

The rest of the time in the office with spent filling on paperwork on a claim against Junwoo. I'd been given the option to be kept in the loop or even present when everything went down, though I politely declined. I wanted nothing more to do with that boy.

Though it would seem Professor Lee didn't share the same sentiment when it came to me, because as soon as soon as the two of us walked hand in hand into the hallway and Dr. Kim's door was securely shut, she sprung into action.

"You bitch!" She shrieked, not wasting another second as she leaped through the air and onto my body like a crouched tiger that was waiting for the right moment to attack. I felt the pressure of her weight against my chest and the sting of her nails scraping against my cheek, and before I knew it I was stumbling down, down onto the ground with another vicious blow to my jaw that was accompanied by her fist.

It all happened within a matter of seconds, but it wasn't long until I heard Yoongi yell Sara! and then her weight vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

All I could do was stare with wide eyes as Yoongi slammed her shoulders back against the wall, though it was the look in his eyes that caught my attention. I had seen that expression before.

He was about to throw a punch.

"Yoongi, stop!" I cried, summoning all the strength I possessed to push myself to my feet and stumble over to the pair.

Yoongi whipped his head towards me with exasperated, almost wild eyes and his brows knitted in confusion and disbelief. "Y/N, she attacked you!"

"She isn't worth it," I spoke firmly in an attempt to get through to him. "Yoongi, just let it go. She isn't worth the trouble anymore."

It was when I placed a soothing hand against his back that Yoongi finally sighed, his stance visibly relaxing and his hands dropping from Professor Lee's shoulders. "She's right," he spit in a low, venomous tone as he turned back to her and grit his teeth. "Thanks to Dr. Kim, you already got what you deserve."

"Yoongi," there were sudden sobs that were tearing through the hallway, and it took me a moment to realize that Professor Lee was now... crying.

"Yoongi," she continued as she clung onto his shoulders. "Yoongi, I loved you!"

Somewhere deep inside of me, past all the burning hatred for what this woman has done to my life out of pure jealousy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for her. This was once me, heartbroken over the effects of unrequited love. Yoongi was a very sought-after man, I'd come to realize, and it wasn't about my feelings or Professor Lee's or anyone else's. It was about his.

"Sara," Yoongi sighed, and there was almost a wince in his tone from how hard he was trying to make her understand. "It's over."

"W–what?" The woman was scrambling now. "It doesn't have to be! We can go back to the way things were–"

"There never was a ‘we’!" He ripped her hands from his shoulders. "We were friends, and then you sabotaged my career and Y/N's education. You never once spoke out about your feelings, came forward, handled things like adults," he stressed the last line. "You never once did any of those things! Instead you belittled another woman and cost yourself your job all for a man—someone who until now, was your friend." Yoongi sighed again and shook his head. "I hope you get the help you need, Sara. I'm sure there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally... but that person is not me."

And with that, he put a gentle hand on my back and we walked away.

“Oh my god.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth the second we exited the building, my hands resting on my head in disbelief as I turned to Yoongi. “Holy shit, Yoongi–“

“Shhh,” he instantly consoled me, his arms engulfing me in a comforting hug and my face tucking underneath his chin as he held me close. “We did it, Y/N. It’s all over.”

I stayed in his embrace for a few moments as his words sunk in. It was all over. No more secrets, no more Professor Lee—no more anything.

“B–but your job...” I pulled away to look up at him with a shaky tone, my brows furrowed in concern. “Dr. Kim fired you, he–“

“I resigned, Y/N. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?” I couldn’t help but look up at him with a hopeless expression.

Yoongi simply nodded his head, the picture of nonchalance as if his career hadn’t just changed forever. “Yes. If I had gotten fired, it would look terrible on my resumé should I apply for another teaching position. However, given the circumstances of our arrangement...” he paused, no doubt thinking of Professor Lee, “I suppose he decided to take it easy on us all.”

My shoulders deflated in relief. “Well thank god for that...” I sighed, not even wanting to think of what could’ve happened if Dr. Kim had given us the harshest punishment. In an ironic, twisted way, I suppose I have Professor Lee to thank for that. If she wouldn’t have made my life a living hell, it would’ve been that much worse if Dr. Kim ever found out on his own.

“But none of that even matters to me right now,” Yoongi suddenly snapped, and then in the time it took me to raise an questioning eyebrow he had already grabbed both sides of my face and rammed his lips into mine, the same as he did before we went inside to confront Professor Lee.

Only this time, the kiss was different. It didn’t hold promises and potential; it held freedom. It held the success of finally getting through everything by the skin of our teeth, the relief and the pride and the pure love that we have for each other after overcoming everything that we’ve been through together. I kissed him and I didn’t care who saw—because he wasn’t my professor anymore. There were no invisible chains that bounded us apart. It was just me and him sticking together against all odds. Never in my life did I think I would ever be a part of a relationship so committed, so passionate, so determined. He and I would never stop fighting for each other.

“I love you, Min Yoongi,” I murmured against his mouth with a grin on my features that was hard to disguise—especially when I felt the corners of his lips pull up into that gummy smile that I adored with all of my heart.

“God, I love you too, Y/N,” he replied back with a content sigh, and then he continued to kiss me on the busy campus sidewalk until we were both breathless and blue in the face.

Because we now had nothing to lose.

Despite finally being released from the clutches that school had on us, the days following the meeting with Dr. Kim were not easy.

Other than having to put on a fake smile and continue attending a university where practically everyone knew about my relationship with now-former Professor Min (my mother would never let me drop out—not that I could ever tell her the reason I'd want to, anyways), there were the stresses that Yoongi was dealing with of now being unemployed. And what with all but abandoning my dorm room to instead spend my nights with him at his apartment, it was impossible to not feel the weight of his problems on my shoulders as well. No matter how many times Yoongi tried to put up a façade and reassure me that he was okay, I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault.

"If I just never would've made you dance with me at that club..." I'd say at times, unable to keep from tracing back each and every one of our interactions and blaming myself.

"Cut that out," Yoongi would snap.

"What? It's true!"

"You know I don't like it when you talk like that!" He'd turn to me with a stern tone. "I don't regret anything that happened between us, okay? Not one single bit." There was a heavy silence as his words would hang in the air. "If you wouldn't have asked me to dance, then who knows if I ever would've worked up the courage to kiss you? And I wouldn't be here, sharing this bed with the love of my life."

"Aw, Yoongi..."

And the two of us would make love, again and again until we'd have a similar argument some time later and repeat the whole process all over again. I'd feel guilty, Yoongi would remind me of exactly how much he doesn't regret meeting me, and we'd get lost in each other's embrace.

That is, until a simple Sunday morning suddenly changed everything.

"I got it."

I casually peered over at the sound of him from my spot in the living room, sitting criss crossed on the couch in my pajamas with a laptop in my lap. "What?"

"The job." Yoongi's voice was low, serious as he stared at the paper in his hands that had previously been so carelessly disregarded on the kitchen island along with the Sunday paper. "At the university in Seoul."

"Wait." He had all of my attention now as I sat the laptop on the coffee table and rose to my feet. "Like the Seoul National University university?"

"Yeah," he let out a single chuckle of disbelief before he pressed the paper against the counter and turned to me. "I got the job."

"Oh my god, Yoongi!" I exclaimed with my own chuckle of disbelief before running forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms immediately engulfed my waist and lifted me off the ground as we spun around in place, my lips instantly finding his in a searing kiss that was full of passion and excitement to match our current mood. "That's amazing!"

"I know," he replied as he placed me down. A tentative smile was frozen on his lips as he stared off into the distance before letting out another sound of disbelief, his head shaking before his palm slid down his face. "I can't believe it!"

"I'm so proud of you!" I mirrored the grin of pure elation on his features, my chest swelling with joy and relief and most of all, pride.

I was so, so proud of Yoongi. I knew how much his job meant to him, and the feeling of guilt that weighed down on me from knowing that I was the one who inadvertently took that away from him, that I was the one who inadvertently caused all this stress of job hunting was instantly lifted off my shoulders. I knew how much he wanted this. I knew how hard he had worked to get this job at such a prestigious school, and god damn it, I knew how much he deserved it. If Yoongi was anything, apart from being an amazing person and a wonderful lover, he was great at his job. He was a natural born teacher.

Though no matter how many times I've willingly showered him with endless compliments about his work, he'd blush sheepishly and simply swat away all of my words with a simple kiss, or an "if you don't shut up your food is going to get cold. We're unemployed now; we need all the nutrition we can get. Haven't you ever heard of the Great Depression?"

So instead, I just chose to beam at him while he basked in the euphoria of the moment that this job acceptance brought on. After all, I knew he was well aware of how proud of him I was and how supportive I'd always be when it came to anything he wanted to accomplish.

Though the bliss was short lived.

I watched as Yoongi's expression slowly fell, the smile on his face slipping into a deep frown and his eyes turning to stone. "No."

"What?" I furrowed my brows, concern filling me and etching onto my features as I cupped his cheek in my hand, trying to figure out why his mood had changed so suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not taking it." His tone was cold, definitive, as if the subject wasn't even up for debate as he grabbed the letter.

"Wait wait wait," I hurried to stop him from tearing it in half. "What are you talking about? Why not?"

He turned to look at me with cold, incredulous eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was even asking a question so stupid. "The university is in Seoul, Y/N."

"Okay...?" I shook my head in confusion, still not understanding what the issue was. "And?"

"I'd have to move." He was taking the paper back out of my hands and ripping it right down the middle before I got the chance to stop him.

I suddenly deflated, the severity of his words dropping in my stomach and wrapping around the anchor of my heart, sending it down, down, down through the floor of his apartment and hurdling towards the center of the earth.

"...What?"

"I'd have to move away from you."

And there is was, the bomb detonating an explosion and demolishing whatever was left of my heart.

"No... t–there has to be another way, there has to–"

"Seoul is hours away from here, Y/N," Yoongi barked out, his tone angry and harsh as it always was when he was upset. "It's on the other side of the country; there's no way I'd be able to commute without living there."

"Okay, so why did you apply then?" I couldn't help but snap back defensively. "You knew the distance to Seoul prior to applying for the job. Why even bother if you're just going to get pissed about not taking it?!"

"Because I didn't think I'd get accepted!" His voice was loud, almost yelling now. "It's the most sought after, prestigious school in the fucking country and I didn't think some young idiot who got fired from his last job would be able to get in!"

It was silent as his words settled over the atmosphere, clinging to the air that filled the room around us and encasing my lungs until it was impossible to breathe.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally hissed. "You're a great teacher, and you know it. If anyone's a young idiot here, it's me!"

Yoongi scoffed with a shake of his head. "I'm the one who kissed you again during that tutoring session after telling you to stay away. I'm the one who fucked you against that desk." His tone was low now, and his eyes seemed to grow harder in realization with each step that he took towards me. "I'm the one who asked to take you out on that fucking date and I'm the one who pulled you onto my lap when Sara caught us in my classroom! God damn it, I'm the one who tracked you down at a fucking frat party and punched one of my students!"

His voice slowly raised until he was yelling again, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was now standing chest to chest and cornering me up against the countertop of the island, I would've winced at the loud volume so close to my ears.

"Stop blaming yourself, Y/N, when I'm the one who was the authority figure. I'm the one who should've had my shit together, but I just couldn't around you!"

I felt myself soften at that. As angry and intimidating as he seemed right now, surely frightening whoever would come into contact with him when he was like this, I knew that it was all a front. Yoongi wasn't the best at dealing with emotional situations—he'd all but bite my head off any time I even tried to mention his father—and sometimes lashed out in anger when he was upset or hurting inside. I knew how badly he wanted this job; I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when he'd first submitted the application. And now, when the career position of his dreams was finally right under his nose, he couldn't have it. Because I was holding him back.

"You have to take it." My voice was solemn and steady as I stared him in the eyes.

He instantly frowned. "What? No, I–"

"Yoongi."

He fell silent, all signs of anger and malice wiped from his features once he saw just how serious I was being. A soft, bittersweet smile that had nothing to do with happiness slowly tugged at my lips as my eyes gleamed with pain. My heart was breaking with every word I was speaking, but I knew it was something I needed to do.

"You have to take the job."

The silence that ensued my words only further proved my point, simultaneously stabbing a knife into my chest with each passing second. He knew I was right. He knew it. He just didn't want to hear it.

"You don't..." He sounded smaller, more pitiful and confused as he tried to make sense of what I was saying. "You don't want me to stay?"

The hurt, the sadness, the utter hopelessness in his voice absolutely crushed me. I couldn't help but fall into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his chest and squeezing tightly as if I could somehow hold the pieces of him together that I knew were breaking. The severity of what was happening, of what I was doing started to settle within me the moment I heard his voice break.

"I do, baby," I replied, the sound muffled by the skin of his neck that my face was buried in as a sob threatened to claw its way out of my throat and swallow me whole. "God, you know I do. But you can't."

"Y–you can come with me." He was shaking his head now, his hands gripping at the shirt on my back with closed fists while he desperately tried to hold onto me, as if I would disappear beneath him at any moment. "We can move together to Seoul and you can–"

"You know I can't, Yoongi." It was my turn to shake my head, and with it came a heavy tear that fell down my cheek. "I have to go to school. I have a family who's helping pay for my tuition, and my mom— you know it's not all up to me."

I heard him sniffle as he pulled away, and even though I felt no evidence of tears from him against my skin or my shirt, his eyes were bright red when he stared back at me.

"I'm not leaving you, Y/N."

The sheer determination in his voice had me shattering like broken glass. "I'm not letting you do this, Yoongi. I'm not letting you waste this opportunity. Do you know how many people are waiting to work at Seoul University? How many professors would kill to be in your position?" I kept my gaze steadily on his as I slowly shook my head. "I care about you... so fucking much. I've never loved someone so much before... not like this." I paused, asking myself one last time if this was really the decision I wanted to make as my words settled in. I took in the sight of his beautiful, breathtaking features silently begging me not to do this. "I'm putting you above my selfishness," I finally decided with another shake of my head. "You need to do this Yoongi, for you. You know you do."

Yoongi slowly shook his head, though the expression on his face told me he knew I was right. "I don't want to lose you," he spoke as a tear spilled over the brim of his eye, dampening his lashes and leaving a wet streak in its wake as it rolled down his cheek, and the sight was the final breaking point that had me bursting into tears.

"Neither do I."

His fingers dug into my skin as he tightened his grip on my body, his forehead leaning against mine as the only sounds exchanged between the two of us were the unspoken words of labored breaths and soft sobs.

Sometimes when you love someone, you have to do what's best for them.

And I knew this was what's best for Yoongi.

[honestlyfrance]

hug infinitely

pairing: sam/bucky

square filled: eyelid kissing/big protective hug ( for the kisses bingo held by @bingokisses​ !)

warnings: angst (kinda), swearing from narrator

summary: Bucky is a caring person who wants to keep a reckless man named Sam in his arms forever. 

a/n: or just me being poetic about one hug in 1.5k words :) it’s the first fic i’ve done in a long time so yay for writing this all less than 24 hours! enjoy and leave some feedback <3

my masterlist | find this on AO3

It’s only a fact that you can’t protect who you love from every little inconvenient thing. You can’t fix every crack in the world just so you could breathe easy thinking your love wouldn’t trip. You also can’t make the sun go away so your love can’t get a sunburn on your nice little beach date. It’s miserable thinking that the world just has it’s ways to hurt your love, but that’s reality, and to have it bother you so much, it’s only a tragedy in three acts.

Bucky Barnes was a protective person at heart, it’s just in his nature to be so. He cared about a lot of things too, and it ranges from friends to family, even pets to strangers. There’s one person though that sends his heart racing every time, but not out of love, but rather out of worry, yet it would be a lie if Bucky says he doesn’t love him.

Enter Sam Wilson, the one person Bucky thought could match Steve Rogers’s reckless behavior and constant belief that his body is immortal and is probably Superman. What irks Bucky though was that, unlike Steve who is probably immortal due to the serum, Sam was human to the bone. The man’s veins pump with unaltered blood and his hair grows at a normal rate. His metabolism isn’t fucked up and his teeth grind in a nervous tick. Sam Wilson is so human that he does backflips off of balconies just because someone bet him to do so. He’s fucking unhinged at some points and he’s immobile late at night and God, Bucky just fucking adores this human so much despite his blood pressure going through the roof.

Bucky Barnes worries for this man so much that he would publicly punch the hospital wall and set his forehead against it like some widow in a Noir film who just found out her husband died. He will not even look at anyone’s eyes as long as they were Sam’s open and lively ones, no! It’s only when another team member pokes at his reaction will he try to regain his demeanor.

Sam Wilson just makes Bucky Barnes weak.

It’s just their normal.

There are days where Sam Wilson gets called for a last-minute mission, one that is only more dangerous than the last one, and he has to personally ring up Bucky saying, “No, no, I’m fine. I don’t need you to come with me. Just get yourself comfy in bed and wait for me. We’ll go to the movies and see what’s new once I’m done.” and that’s the only thing that could keep the man sane for a while.

It’s not that Bucky was helpless when Sam wasn’t around — he’s completely fine even! he has his agendas outside of the man, too! — it’s just that the mere idea of Sam Wilson being bedridden due to broken bones, internal bleeding, a coma, or anything of the sorts just scares him… the mere idea that Sam Wilson is easily broken, fragile even, a kind of fragile Bucky isn’t familiar with anymore… It hurts Bucky to even think that they’re two different kinds of glass.

Oh, but his heart yearns so much for the time when he could scrape his knee and feel so bad for it. When was the last time Bucky was worried that he could get killed by the wrong rusty nail? Humans are too fragile, he thinks, and they only get more fragile as they grow old.

Bucky yearns for the time when he too was human to the bone.

And that’s why Bucky holds Sam a little longer than the last time.

This was why Bucky runs his fingers through Sam’s hair slower than usual, cascading his hand up and down the nape of his neck just so Sam could feel warm somehow. This was why Bucky sets his chin on Sam’s shoulder and inhales the scent of burnt fabric and gunfire, wanting to breathe it all away so Sam could feel clean of war. This was why Bucky grabs Sam by the waist first when hugging because he didn’t want to let go of what makes Sam his lover, forever wanting their atoms to intertwine with each other and become everlasting, even if it was just for a little while.

All of these little things make Sam Wilson feel like the only person left in the world, and it’s not a lonely kind of feeling. Being held in Bucky’s arms like this after months of feeling rough hands and doubt in his body and head, it felt like being a bird perched on a telephone wire, looking over the empty road and just feeling the nip of the breeze swift past you. Bucky’s arms around Sam felt like sunshine after stormy seas, and he loves it, drowns in it, feeling his knees grow weak whenever Bucky even moves his hands the slightest to bring him closer. It pains Sam to even feel so warm and calm and just so full of life in such arms.

The little things like Bucky whispering “I miss you” or “I love you, I love you, I missed you so badly” into his ear was enough to make Sam sob, because he truly couldn’t have known anything less before this. It was such a soft epilogue to his melancholic novel that he could practically see it as a best seller, and Bucky didn’t even write it, he was just right there cheering him on and giving him a nice little place to write all of the things Sam’s seen and done in peace that it’s almost impossible to imagine. Bucky has this feeling of home in his arms that when Sam falls into them he just knows that there’s no turning back now — Sam has never felt so small in Bucky’s arms, he never felt the whole world engulf him in such warmth and softness and ugh this hug was just too good to be real.

It’s all Sam ever knows as he buries his head even deeper into the crook of Bucky’s shoulder, feeling light as a feather as the man lifts him, as if his entire body wasn’t enough to hold, Bucky seemed to want Sam’s entire soul in his hands, Sam’s entire breath, Sam’s entire stars, Sam’s entire life, Sam’s entire existence in his hands. Bucky seemed to want Sam Wilson so much as Sam Wilson wanted him and it’s just a perfect scenario, it’s probably just a dream.

And this was why Bucky holds Sam in his arms a little longer than the last time. He wanted Sam to feel what it’s like having the world wrapped around his finger and by God, this amazing man will have that kindness.

Sam felt safe being small and engulfed in Bucky’s hugs. It’s like nothing outside matters and all that ever did matter was the fireplace brewing in their chests, breathing out smoke like chimneys in December, feeding each other warmth until the coals of their houses ran out. Sam felt so fucking safe like this, his mind is all but a grassy field on a plateau overlooking a vast ocean that had waves lapping against the cliff-like touch starved lovers reaching for the sun. Sam felt like he never was that touch starved teen back in his high school years, wanting to succumb to someone’s touch when he’s lost all sense beforehand because Bucky’s breathing into his neck “You’re home. God, you’re home now.” and to think that this isn’t loving is just the coward’s way out of this hug. Damn right Sam is gonna sleep in Bucky’s arms tonight because tonight, Sam is so full of love he forgot what it was like to be empty.

Bucky tries so hard to admit to himself that he does love Sam and his broken bones and whatnot, the only thing stopping him is the heartbreak he’ll receive when one day Sam will be gone, finally realizing that he’s not the Superman everyone thought out to be — not the infinite river of hope and bravery he was meant to be. It sickens Bucky to even think that this Captain America, the Falcon, Samuel Wilson, isn’t infinite. To even think so is the cowardice’s way out of this chokehold.

Maybe if he held Sam long enough, the love that just exudes out of him will heal whatever malice tried to break this incredible man. If Bucky could kiss all of Sam’s worries away, then peace could be a fiery red sunset over the sea. If Bucky loved then Sam could feel loved.

It’s crazy, Bucky knows. Love doesn’t work that way. Love doesn’t heal, it breaks. This is why we have broken hearts in the first place, but oh with the way Sam wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck and mumble sweet nothings into his shirt Bucky could now believe that this moment will be the single greatest thing that has ever happened to him.

The only time Bucky felt the need to let go of Sam is when he needs to set a gentle kiss on the man, one on the forehead, one on the nose, and each on the eyelid. He wanted Sam to close his eyes and just feel the softest thing he could offer. Bucky wanted Sam to fall asleep in a nice bed with nice thoughts, perhaps even with a smile that he couldn’t wipe off.

Bucky wants to heal every wound Sam has and kiss the pain goodnight after every mission.

Bucky wants to have Sam in this hug infinitely.

Bucky wants as much as Sam wants him.

And yeah, they’ll have this as long as they could.

[avengersassemble-fics]

Lost and Found

part 09/10 “a final mission��

masterlist

previous part // next part

word count 4.8k

an: im so sorry this took so long to get out, I just had a butt ton of school work this week :3 but I hope you enjoy... womp womp also I know Dooku revealed Sidious’ name in atom but!!! oh well I changed that.

spotify playlist to listen to while you read

The warmth that was familiar to this place was long gone. It felt as if something had rung it out and left it in a cold and dark place to dry. The foliage that once grew was dust underneath the boots that walked above it, the trees wilted and grey in colour like there was no life there at all. The air was chilly, and the further you stepped the worse it had become.

Though you weren’t there physically, you could still feel the sharp feeling of the breeze pierce your robes to your skin. It was like blades were being pressed into your skin with each step deeper into this unfamiliar world, but what were you looking for? At this point you figured you were looking for anything. Any kind of sign.

A hand reached out and grabbed your arm, and it forced you to freeze. Obi-Wan moved to your side and released his grasp on you, but nodded your way. Without needing to exchange words, you continued on as equals. Shoulder to shoulder you walked past the desolate grounds to complete darkness, past the dusted foliage it felt like your feet hit water. It was shallow enough the tread through, barely past the heel of your boots really, and the sloshing sound that normally would echo in the real world was silent here.

This time you were brought to a halt on your own. You glanced around the black that surrounded you and Master Kenobi, the burning sensation that tingled your skin was like someone else was there. Someone far more evil than you or the Jedi Knight.

Obi-Wan, you said. Through the meditation your and Master Kenobi’s minds were like one. Without Anakin there, and without the presence of the unknown figure from before, he was able to venture this far with you. Your call to him made him pause and turn back to face you.

Do you feel something? He asked, and you nodded, and took another glance around you.

They’re.. Looking for something.. You trailed off when the burning sensation grew.

Me. Looking for me. You added the thought and obi-Wan shuffled but you raised your hand to stop him.

I can try and locate him-

Don’t, Obi-Wan’s voice said firmly in your mind. He’s too powerful.

We need to know more, you tried to reason with him. You know it’s true.

Obi-Wan didn’t have an immediate response so you shook your head. You focused your attention on the sensation that was engulfing your body, and tried to find the source. Obi-Wan watched as you disappeared before his eyes, and he immediately was thrown from your connection. When he reopened his eyes he was back in the Temple, sitting across from you, and he sighed in relief when he saw your calm demeanor across from him.

Anakin nearly jumped from his seat and hovered over his Master and you when he saw him open his eyes. He motioned to you and stared at his Master in (dare Obi-Wan say) fear.

“What happened?” Anakin asked, and Obi-Wan shook his head.

“He fell for the trap,” Obi-Wan said. “Your plan worked. He came looking for her.”

“I don’t know why that doesn’t make me feel any better, Master,” Anakin told him honestly. Obi-Wan nodded before he focused on you once more.

“I know the feeling, Anakin.”

You had to be very careful with your thoughts in this moment. Whoever the Sith lord was was pushing you through your own memories, much like the Council had, and how Obi-Wan and Anakin had when you first arrived on. But he seeked something farther from your past, but you were unsure what it was. When you had reawoken from his recent push, you were met with a sight that you had not seen since you were just a mere child. Your feet were planted in a strip of green that was hugged by what looked to be volcanic soil around it. The air smelled of ash, and you knew where you were.

Lah’mu. Your home. In the distance you could see a farm, your family's farm, and you took strides towards it. They were eager and hopeful, if you could just get a glance at your family after this many years--

You came to a halt when you saw a hooded figure before you, near the peaceful farming family. Your family. Your mother seemed to grip onto you and your father took notice to the person before him. Before you could blink the ripple of a red lightsaber cut through the air and through your father’s body.

No. No no this wasn’t right. The Trade were the ones who came to Lah’mu that day. You were frozen in place in the desperate attempt to wonder closer, it was like you were being held there by someone else. Confusion raked through you when the hooded figure stepped over to your mother and you, and with an outstretched hand you saw the hold that formed over your mother's neck. It snapped not even a second later and you gasped.

None of this was right. Your mother was alive until just years ago! You knew it. You just knew she did not die this day.

Another figure wandered off the ship that was landed near the farm. Two figures now hovered over the small child and with the wave of a hand the child was out cold. Muffled voices rang in your ears, but two words stood out clear.

Anakin and Obi-Wan watched as your hands had begun to shake on your lap. You were trying to break free. Your face looked pained and your breathing picked up in your chest. Anakin rushed behind you to latch onto your shoulders while Obi-Wan leaned forward to grab a hold of your hands. Through concentration they focused on your mind, and in this unknown memory you felt their warm embrace start to wrap around you.. But so did that second figure. Their head turned in your direction, and you shook your head when they started your way.

It wasn’t your memory. It was his.

Before the figure could reach you, you were pulled out of the scene and back into reality. You gasped for air and collapsed backwards into Anakin’s embrace. He gripped you steady and Obi-Wan kneeled on your side as you tried to calm yourself, but you met Master Kenobi’s eyes.

“Sidious,” you said. Obi-Wan glanced at Anakin then back to you, and Anakin rubbed your arm gently.

“The Sith lord’s name is Sidious,” you said again. Obi-Wan nodded and stood, but hesitated to leave. Anakin gave him a firm nod as if to say he would take care of you, and Obi-Wan nodded before finally leaving the room.

“Hey,” Anakin’s sweet voice filled your ear. You still stared straight ahead and breathed heavily, and he tried to garner your attention. “You’re alright now, you’re safe.”

“No,” you said quickly with a shake of your head. “He wanted me to see it.”

Anakin raised a brow to himself, and eased himself down to sit on the floor so he could better hold you. “See what?”

“It was a lie,” you said quietly. Anakin ran his hand over your hair to move it from your face so he could better see you. “Sidious, and another.. They were the ones who came to Lah’mu. They killed my parents.”

Anakin let your words sink in before he shook his head. “You’re mother she was on Tatooine-”

“No,” you shook your head ferociously. “I saw it. They cut them down. He wanted me to see that.”

Anakin moved around you so he could cup your face and force you to meet his gaze. Your eyes snapped to his and you stopped finally. Anakin dragged his gloved hands over your skin and gave a small smile to reassure you.

“Calm your mind,” Anakin asked you and he took a deep breath in for you to follow. You matched his inhale and exhale as you focused on his eyes and allowed him to penetrate the wall you had put up. Anakin’s warmth was nothing like the fire the Sith had engulfed you in. It was comforting and lightweight in a way, his presence fluttered over the tips of your fingers and even into your hair like it rubbed at your scalp. And he did it so effortlessly and for as long as you needed until you were breathing calmly all on your own.

“There we go,” he whispered as he rubbed one of his thumbs over your cheek once more. You sighed a bit against his touch before reaching up to place your hand over his.

“How did you know he would be looking for us?” You asked him. Anakin shrugged his shoulders lightly, and his casual grin fell over his lips.

“Well they don’t call me the greatest general of the Galactic Republic for nothing,” he joked, and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle.

“Shut up, Ani,” you said with a smile and Anakin seemed to narrow his eyes a bit at you. “What?”

Anakin seemed to think your words over for a moment before he shook his head. “Nothing.”

You nodded slowly, even if you didn’t believe his words. A thought had entered his mind that he didn’t want to share, but why? You knew better than to press him on it, so you allowed him to help you stand and he gave you another one of his reassuring smiles.

“We must return to the Council,” Anakin stated and you nodded at his words. Anakin pressed his hand to the small of your back and led you to the door, and when it opened he removed it just as fast. Even if his hand wasn’t present, Anakin stuck close to your side as you walked through the Temple towards the room the Council always met in. It didn’t take long until you were walking in side by side one another, and Obi-Wan was standing before the other Jedi.

“Join us, young ones,” Yoda said. Anakin and you walked up besides Obi-Wan and offered a bow of respect to the Council. “Speaking with Master Kenobi we were, about this Sith lord Darth Sidious.”

“We wanted to know what you felt when you encountered him through the Force,” Master windu directed his attention to you. You glanced down to your feet, and Anakin pressed into your mind as a sign of reassurance.

“It felt like fire, almost like it was pricking my skin.. He was strong enough to pull me into a memory of his, one we.. Shared in a way.”

Master Yoda and Master Windu glanced between one another, and Windu nodded at you. “What do you mean you shared a memory with him?”

“My memory and his are different,” you tried to explain. “I remember the Slave Trade came for my father due to his debts and killed him for it.. But that wasn’t what had happened. Darth Sidious and another were there, they were the ones who killed my father. And then my mother as well.”

“Two there were?” Yoda asked and you nodded in response. The Master let out a sigh as he thought your words over before looking back at the group of three. “Always two there are, no more, no less.”

“Are you speaking of the Rule of Two, Master?” Obi-Wan asked. You stole a quick glance at Anakin who seemed almost as confused as you were. Master Yoda nodded in confirmation.

“A master and an apprentice there always is,” Yoda continued with his thought. “With Dooku gone, there remains two candidates for the Sith lord Darth Sidious.”

“Grievous and Dash,” Anakin commented this time, which earned another hearty sound from the old Master.

“Grievous we know to have hidden on Utapau,” Master Windu spoke up this time. “The Council had already spoken with Master Kenobi to lead the siege there. As for the younger apprentice..” His voice trailed off as he looked your way.

“To Korriban, he has gone,” Yoda finished the thought. Anakin and Obi-Wan glanced to one another, and Anakin shifted in discomfort.

“That planet is scared for the Sith,” Anakin tried to reason. “You can’t be suggesting-”

“Meet him on Korriban she must,” Yoda finished his thought for him. You looked to meet the old Master’s gaze. “Decided it already has.”

“Masters, with all due respect, there must be some other-” Obi-Wan tried to intervene but was cut off by Master Windu.

“It’s been decided. This is a battle for your Padawan to finish.”

Anakin shook his head next to you. “Master please, that planet is filled with evil and darkness. If what you’re saying is true then I should go too.”

“We have other plans for you that require your presence here,” Master Windu stated. You finally were able to understand the severity of the words that had been thrown around you. This was your mission, and yours alone. No Obi-Wan. No Anakin. Just you and your seemingly placed nemesis, Dash.

“Leave you must,” Yoda directed at you. “May the Force be with you.”

You gave a nod and turned back to the door but paused to look at your two companions. Obi-Wan offered a reassuring smile, while Anakin had a pained look on his face. You nodded at them though your eyes lingered on your other half before exiting the Council room and making your way out of the temple. Your mind raced with the new knowledge you had to carry.

You weren’t too familiar with the planet named Korriban, but just from the small details you could get it was a Sith homeworld. You were sure Fives could brief you a bit more on the matter at hand on the command ship during the journey. You should probably contact him beforehand. You reached into a pocket on your robes to grab your comm and glanced around before activating it.

“Fives come in,” you said in a hushed voice. Your voice still carried in an echo around the barren Temple walls.

“Yes general,” his voice replied back after only a few moments.

“I’m sure you’re aware of the mission just assigned,” you said.

“The troops are being moved onto the command ship as we speak,” Fives replied. “Will you be joining us soon?”

“Yes Captain, we can depart on my arrival,” you stated before stepping onto the transport. Before the door could close completely another person jumped on board. You had just tucked away your comm link when you looked up to meet the upset eyes of Anakin Skywalker.

There was surprisingly no one else on board this transport besides the little droid that drove it. Anakin hurried over and wrapped his arms around you to pull you in close. Shock filled you only for a moment before you wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. You could feel his hands run over your back as he tried to find some kind of reassurance in the embrace, and you rubbed the nape of his neck.

“You shouldn’t be going alone,” he mumbled to you. “Korriban it’s a.. It’s an evil place.”

“I’ll be okay, Ani,” you tried to reassure him. Anakin shook his head and moved back a bit so he could look you in the eyes.

“You can’t go, please,” he rubbed your shoulders and looked you over. “The Council wishes me to spy on the Chancellor, they won’t make me a Master - we can leave. Start our lives together on Naboo.”

Anakin spoke with such urgency that you couldn’t help but let your face soften at his words. The man that stood before you was hurt and confused, but he still wished to do good. You knew it deep down, felt it in his soul even. You could finally see the amount of pressure he has been under since the wars started, and it made your heart ache.

“Ani,” you whispered and you watched his eyes fall down. “Sometimes.. Sometimes we have to do the things we must for the better of others. I have a feeling that of Dash and I, only one will return from Korriban. Though I wish it wasn’t that way, he has gone down too far on the path of hatred.”

You grabbed a hold of his hands and Anakin looked up to meet your eyes. “I know what it means to be a Master for you, and I’m sorry they haven’t granted you that title,” you paused to rub his hand with your thumb. “But with Obi-Wan sent for Grievous, and me with Dash.. The war will come to an end soon enough. And we can start a new life on Naboo like we talked about.”

Anakin sighed and shook his head. “I know my love. But you can’t.. You can’t go there by yourself, it’s too dangerous! And what if-”

“Anakin,” you cut him off and reached one of your hands up to hold his cheek. “I say this with love.. But you don't get to decide what kind of danger I put myself into. And I won’t be alone, I’ll have Fives and the others with me.”

The transport came to a halt outside the Republic ship depot, where in the distance ships for you and Obi-Wan must have been getting filled with troops. Anakin gazed into your eyes and his hands came up to cup your face and bring you in for a long warm kiss. Something bubbled in you, it felt almost like dread, and you could feel tears sting the back of your eyelids. Your fingers had latched into his long strands as he kissed you deeply, and he separated from you after a few moments. The risk you two were in at the moment from being so open was astronomical, but neither wanted this to end. Not yet.

“You promise you’ll come back to me in one piece?” Anakin whispered to you and you smiled a bit, fighting back the urge to cry.

“Always for you, Ani,” you answered. A tear had slipped free and Anakin was quick to drag his finger over tor skin to catch it. Anakin whispered to you to not cry, and had to painstakingly peel himself from your embrace. Slowly, one foot after another, you two disembarked from the transport and walked closer and closer to your destination. It wasn’t until you could see your Captain did you and Anakin stop, and he grabbed your arm.

“I’ll be waiting right here for you when you return,” he said in a low voice and you nodded at his words. “I must go see Obi-Wan off as well.”

“Of course,” you replied. You took a step away from Anakin and started towards Fives, and the fleet that would be following you on this mission.

“(Y/N),” Anakin called and you paused to look back his way. “May the Force be with you.”

“And you too,” you replied. With a final soft smile and stepping farther and farther away, his voice rang in your head one more time.

I love you.

Little did you know, those were the last words you would hear from Anakin Skywalker.

- - - - - - - - - -

Korriban was just as much the desolate world you had imagined. When the large Command ship exited hyperspace, and the dusty atmosphere became apparent, you felt unease settle into your stomach. You brushed it off to the fact you were getting anxious at the idea of what the Council was expecting you to do here, and you tried to calm your nerves as you boarded the transport ship next to your Captain. You grabbed a hold of the straps to steady yourself as the outer doors closed you off from the stars outside. Fives next to you help out his hand with a little transmitter, and before you appeared the surface of the planet.

“There’s a number of droids we can detect, but your guy?” Fives pointed at the large structure on the map. “He’s there. We can help clear the path for you.”

“What, you won’t be joining me in the evil temple of the Sith?” You asked jokefully.

“I’ll leave that to you, General.”

You cracked a smile but the further into the planet’s atmosphere the more you were filled with that uneasy feeling. When the transport ships settled down and the doors opened to reveal the dusty planet, the troops walked hopped off quicker than Fives could give the order. In the distance you could make out the droids that loitered before the Sith temple, and just as you hopped out Fives returned to your side.

“General Kenobi is requesting you, sir,” he said through the vocoder of his helmet. He held out a transmitter for you and you accepted it. Fives wandered back over to the troops and you turned back to the transport and flicked the comm on in your hand.

“Master,” you greeted. Obi-Wan stood with his arms crossed, and his hood up, and looking ever serious.

“I wanted to speak to you before you continued with your mission,” his voice rang out. “Are you alright?”

“I feel uneasy Master,” you answered honestly. “This place is full of.. It’s full of the same darkness I felt from Sidious. And..”

You stopped your sentence. obi-Wan’s gaze flickered over you before he spoke. “What is it?”

“What if I don’t do what the Council seeks,” you asked. “What if I can bring Dash back to the light? He’s been misled, but that’s no reason to die.”

Obi-Wan thought your words over. He rubbed his beard a bit before he carefully spoke again. “As I told Anakin’s old Padawan.. Dare I say, the Council is not always right in their rulings.. If you are able to bring Dash back and to the Council, maybe he can tell us more about this Sidious from what he knew from Count Dooku.”

“Then I’ll do what I must,” you nodded at him. “Thank you Obi-Wan. May the Force be with you.”

“You as well, Padawan.”

You clicked the comm off and with a deep breath you went to Fives side and handed him back the device. With a nod, you both started off in the direction of the looming Temple, and you took the time to collect your thoughts. You knew what you had to do, and you knew he was aware you were coming for him. The walkers that trailed behind the lines of Clones began to fire over top the troops, and in an instant the blast fire began to course through the air.

The troops around you broke out in a light run, and you followed suit. You dodged the blaster fire from touching your skin and pulled your lightsaber from your hip as you neared the enemy lines, and igniting the double bladed saber you lunged forward, cutting through the metal around you. The Clones behind you did their best to shoot down the hunks of battle droids, the ones that didn’t go down you slashed through easily.

A fiery shot hit your shoulder and you were ricocheted to the ground. Your lightsaber switched off as it rolled away from you and your hand went to the place the blast had hit you. You could hear Fives shoot the attacking droids and come up on your side, but you waved him off and force pulled the lightsaber back into your grasp.

“I’m fine,” you told him before you could ask, but that didn’t stop him from helping you up. When you got back to your feet you looked back to the temple and squinted through the sandy breeze. There was a clear shot straight ahead. Fives readied his blaster and gave you a nod.

“I’ve got your back, General.”

With a final nod you dashed off, sprinting as fast as you could to the looming temple and braced yourself for the impending darkness of the covered walls. When you finally entered a cold sensation filled you, and soon the blaster fire began to fade away. You steadied yourself into a walk, and gingerly touched your still aching shoulder. You grimaced at the sharp pain, and for a moment wondered if Anakin had felt the intrusion. You hoped he couldn’t, you didn’t want to worry him like this.

The Temple was lit with torches the further you stepped. It was like the presence here was waiting for you. And each step brought you closer and closer to them. The cold was not welcoming, if anything you wanted to turn back now. How that figure thought this was true as well as the Jedi was beyond you in the moment.

The hallways opened up to a large room, and torches that hung along the perimeter lit up in a wave. As each light opened up, the figure resting in the middle became more apparent. Sitting in a meditative eform on the ground was who you were looking for. You watched as Dash rolled his shoulders backwards and his head picked up, and then his voice rang out.

“I knew they would send you,” he said. You took another step closer into the room, your lightsaber still hung on your hip.

“Why did you come here of all places?” You asked. Dash turned his head slightly and you could just make out the etches along his face. Slowly he stood, and kept his back to you.

“My Master told me about this place, how it contains power beyond our knowledge,” he explained, and finally turned to face you. “Power you couldn’t ever fathom.”

“Are you talking about Dooku?.. Or Sidious.”

Dash’s gaze lifted to meet yours at the latter. You could see his eye twitch slightly and you saw him break out in a smile.

“You Jedi finally learned of the one and only Supreme leader,” he said. “You came just as he predicted.”

That uneasy feeling bubbled up higher. You shuffled your weight from one foot to another. “This isn’t right. This place, Sidious, what they have done to you-”

“They have given me a life with purpose,” he spat at you. “Before them I had nothing. I was nothing. You should know that feeling.”

“I don’t,” you replied. “I learned that Sidious and his master were the ones who killed my family before my own eyes. They implanted a false memory to make me believe I was nothing-”

“Then who are you?” He asked.

“Who I always have been. (Y/N) (L/N). Sidious can’t take that from me,” you paused when you saw his face drop. “Please listen to me.. Don’t let him take you further down this path of hatred. Fear. Loneliness.”

“What are you expecting from me?!” He yelled. You shook your head and motioned to him.

“I just want to help you.”

Dash held your gaze, before he turned away. “He killed my Master.”

You could hear a crash from behind you, even if it was low it rumbled the ground beneath you. But you kept your gaze on the man before you and took a step closer. “No.. No, Anakin killed Count Dooku.”

“Because he was told to,” Dash said quickly. You stopped in your tracks and shook your head in confusion.

“Anakin told me that… The Chancellor told him to do it.”

Dash turned to you and nodded. “Yes.”

You were taken back as Dash’s words settled into you. Another rumble came from the outside world and you glanced behind you before returning your look back to Dash. He shook his head and looked to his hands.

“What are you saying, Dash.” You asked firmly. Dash met your gaze once more in a pained look.

“It was all a lie orchestrated by Darth Sidious, he’s dismantled the Jedi, he holds the Republic supremacy.. The Chancellor is Darth Sidious. And we… We must leave this place. Before-”

“Before what?” you asked harshly.

The blast from outside felt harsher, and suddenly your chest tightened. Rubble fell from the rocky ceiling and you could hear footsteps from behind. An overwhelming amount of darkness seeped into you and you swayed momentarily before Dash was at your side and held you up. Your eyes shot around the room as your vision fuzzed up and you knew the feeling that filled your heart.

Death.

The footsteps that echoed drew closer, and Dash grabbed the lightsaber from his hip when Fives came into view. Before he could ignite the red weapon you stopped him and met the gaze of your Captain.

“What’s-what’s going on?”

“What I was trying to warn you about,” Dash whispered. Fives removed his helmet and you looked to the man on your side.

“The Purge has begun.”

- - - - - - - - - -

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[brownskinsugarplum76]

One Shot: The Wanton Song

Here's another case of an idea that showed up unexpectedly and insisted on being written ASAP. NSFW and pretty vividly smutty, with Robert in the passenger seat for this encounter. ❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My turn," you say to Robert, feeling energized after his lengthy exploration between your thighs. The series of orgasms he has given you with his devilish tongue have destroyed you, exploded you into thousands of pulsating atoms, and rebuilt you into a less inhibited, more hungry version of yourself. And now you're ready to attack him with the vicious eroticism of Kali, drain him of his energy and his cum, leave him as an empty shell of a man, like a black widow moving onto the next unsuspecting male spider.

He reclines on the bed and strokes himself. He’s preparing for you and enticing you to give as good as you’ve gotten. He doesn’t say a word, but you can see it in his eyes. It's a dare. He wants it. He welcomes it. He knows you have it in you to grab his shoulders and hold him down, drown him in an overpowering sea of sensation with your most passionate moves.

You swoon for a second as you watch the enjoyment he’s giving himself, the slow dance of his hand on his abundance. Your body is pulsating deliciously again, without him even touching you. You touch yourself. Your clit is still engorged. Enraged. Aflame. You fast forward to visions of you atop Robert's sturdy thighs with his manhood buried deep inside of you.

Your fingers continue their soothing dance. The thought of being impaled on him hastens your breathing. You stop and put a hand on top of his busy one, letting him know that you’ll be taking care of him from here on out.

You straddle him and break the seal of his closed lips with a wet, teasing tongue. You taste yourself inside of his mouth. You tease his tongue with the touch of yours before you start gently sucking his. He moans his approval.

You continue to explore the cave of his mouth while your hands wind their way into his mane of curls and then out, onto his face and then across his broad shoulders. Your body undulates against his. His dick feels exquisite against your sensitive folds, even without penetration.

You begin to lick and suck on his neck, to the point that you’re satisfied marks will show up in the near future.

Like a ravenous lioness marking her prey, you leave a path of wantonness down his body with a wet tongue and a flurry of nips of his skin. No inch of his torso has been left undisturbed.

You trail your tongue down his trail. Desire pools inside of you when you pick up the scent of his manhood in the thatch of hair below his waist. The musky smell of his pheromones never fails to incite your base instincts.

At his cock, you rejoice and feast. You lick his length and torture him a bit with flicks of your tongue just below the head. You feel his body tense. He’s fighting a desire to writhe on the bed and clutch the sheets. Or, maybe he's fighting the urge to say fuck it, flip you on your back, and pound you into the mattress. Either way, you know you’ll make him lose that battle. He will get to a point of surrender. A smug smile animates your face.

You moisten his cock with your saliva and then you devour him, taking in as much as you comfortably can. You grasp with your hand, dragging up and down, up and down, a split second behind the movement of your mouth. You taunt him with sinful twists and turns of your hand every time you reach his head.

You love how Robert moans and gasps in response to the labor of love you're carrying out. You're at it a while longer, ratcheting Robert's reactions closer and closer to the edge.

His chest is heaving rapidly, and he's thrusting his pelvis lightly, lest he upset the tempo that you've set. His feet fidget aimlessly on the mattress behind you. His moans are punctuated with choice curse words. He is lost inside of himself. He is yours for the taking.

His dick is still in your hand, and you decide it's time to switch gears. You shift your position a bit to massage the tip of his cock against your damp, swollen pussy. You inhale sharply and buck. Your core feels wetter and wider by the second.

You can't take it any longer. You feed his length inside of you with one smooth, steady motion.

You pause and take in the moment, eyes closed. His length and hardness, and the connection of your bodies, it's all worth a moment of savoring. It's the calm before the storm. Both of you know it. Both of you steel yourselves for the frenzy ahead.

You've started fucking Robert. Briskly. You feel like an Amazon atop her prized stallion, breasts bared, all feral screams and grunts. You hold the reins. You control the fiery energy that threatens to engulf both of you. You know how to stoke the erotic vibes with your ravenous strokes or tamp it a little with a tender kiss. You want to make it last until you need it to be over with a grand explosion.

Robert is enjoying the ride. His hands sink into the softness of your ass. His tongue roves your nipples when you're close to him. His expression shifts between one of drugged pleasure to a steely glare that eggs you on. As far as his needs, you know they'll be met. It's the least of your worries and concerns.

You switch your angle of attack, as needed, to edge toward and retreat from the edge. There are delicious minor blips of orgasm along the way, but the final crescendo is still in the future.

You decide now is the time to chase it. Robert, to his credit, has not tried to lead. He loves it when you're in this state. His loopy, lusty smile grows wider and wider as you ride faster and faster, crashing into his lap recklessly on each down stroke. His body is no longer tense. He is properly high from your motions, slowly on his way to being worn out. He is biding his time until you finish him, and he's loving every second in the meantime.

Searing, passionate electricity courses up your spine. You fold forward to take him as deeply as you can. You're so wet that you glide on the expanse of his cock effortlessly. Your cries grow louder. Your vision tunnels to the wicked way your body is siphoning Robert's energy, and the gaze you hold on his glassy eyes.

You're closing in on your climax, and you ride on breathlessly. You've been working up a sweat, and the room feels like a sauna. The heat pricking your skin is almost as unbearable as the climax that is so close, yet so far away.

Moments later, your body spasms as the pleasure fans out from your core to your spine, and then your head. You feel dizzy. Only the momentum of your stiffened, trembling body is holding you upright over Robert.

His orgasm blasts sympathetically out of the ashes of yours. His end is usually punctuated by an unholy wail, but he can only muster a breathy moan in his state today.

His expended energy incites another, unexpected wave of release for you. You release his cock and drape his body with yours. His chest is warm, as are the strong arms he wraps around you.

A purr escapes his throat before he kisses you gently. "You were magnificent," he says with a lazy smile. You melt into his well-earned embrace and soak in the tenderness of his appreciation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary.

[duce-thruce]

Misunderstandings ThorBruce

A/N: So this is really cheesy as fuck and I was just thinking about some revengers adventures.

The reason for Thor’s peculiar behavior was probably due to cabin fever, Bruce assumed. For the past few weeks, the revengers were cooped on their new space ship, meandering around from galaxy to galaxy, checking on Asgardian refugees that scattered around the galaxy.

Often, Thor would whisper things to Loki, causing his brother to chuckle. Which should not be odd, because normally Thor would let him in on the joke. But this time he wasn’t included like Thor was keeping a secret. There were also moments when Thor would stare at Bruce, but when Bruce looked at him, raising his eyebrows as if to ask Thor what the matter was, Thor would whip his head the opposite direction. It was like he was having a middle school crush, except the two of them had been dating for five years. Even before they dated, Thor never stared at him like that.

Thor would also sigh, as he peered out one of the ship's windows, watching the stars. Thor was usually a vocal man, so all Bruce could do was hope it was cabin fever.

“How long till we get to a different planet?” Bruce asked, hoping for the sake of his boyfriend, the answer would be soon.

They were quite literally on the edge of the universe close to where the universe was expanding. As a scientist, Bruce was proud that he was achieving a large feat in the field of astrophysics. But as a man worried sick for his boyfriend, he wanted to get to solid ground.

Valkyrie was piloting in the seat next to him, and grunted before saying, “It depends which place needs us the most.”

Thor was in another cabin behind the cockpit chatting with Loki, not quite in out of earshot.

Noticing Bruce’s question, he walked into the cockpit and placed a hand on Bruce’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Bruce?”

Bruce turned to face Thor, and traced Thor’s face with his eyes, noting each scar, and the scratchy texture of his beard. It was no worse than Bruce’s. Thor’s hair was also grown out like the time they first met when the avengers formed.

Of all the people to be on the edge of the universe with, he was glad it was Thor.

Smiling, at him, Bruce decided it wasn’t best to lie. “I’m just a bit worried.” He didn’t elaborate and Thor never asked him to.

Then with a warm look, Thor leaned over to unbuckle the harness that Bruce was adamant about wearing if Valkyrie piloted. Grabbing Bruce by the hand, he led him out of the cockpit.

After all these years, Thor’s shift from rugged warrior to calm and collected lover, left Bruce warm and fuzzy.

From the corner of his eyes he can see Valkyrie shaking her head, smirking.

In next cabin over, Loki sat on a lounge chair, reading and sipping a tea from an alien planet two galaxies over. Bruce was thankful that Loki was ignoring the both of them holding hands and practically skipping across the ship.

The place they ended up was the private room they both shared. It was supposed to be the largest compartment, but with Thor’s behemoth size it felt cozy. Bruce liked that.

Thor pushed him onto the bed. He was on his back, and Bruce flushed a light green. Instead of what he thought was going to happen, Thor laid on his stomach next to Bruce.

“Tell me more about that theory that the universe is getting bigger.”

Bruce moved from his back onto his side, propping himself up on one of his arms to face Thor.

“Oh that one! Well it was thought up by a midgardian scientist who-” and then Bruce Banner went into his own little world, forgetting about his worries. He described things from the big bang to how the universe, every second, grows atom by atom. Waving the hang he wasn’t laying on, Bruce was too excited to stop.

Thor watched with an ever present smile on his face.

“-and it keeps growing and growing and it never stops meaning that- “

“I will never stop loving you.” Thor grabbed Bruce’s free hand, moving it towards his face, and kissed it, still making eye contact with Bruce. Bruce collapsed into his pillow, defeated and embarrassed. The usual Thor would giggle at his squirming, but at this moment, he continued his staring with earnest, icy blue eyes. His passionate gaze trapped Bruce, who could only stare back.

Getting over his embarrassment, Bruce garnered all his courage, and scooted closer to Thor, pecking him on the lips, feeling the gritty texture of his beard. Thor did not appear fazed from the kiss.

As Thor’s intense gaze continued, and Bruce feathered him with kisses, whispering between each one a tiny ‘I love you’.

It’s funny how Bruce never worshipped a god, until he met Thor.

Days passed since that intimate moment, and Thor’s odd behavior worsened. His staring was more frequent and intense, and the sighing never seemed to stopped. It left Bruce unclear and worried, and he wished he could help.

A small village on an iceberg planet, called for help, and Bruce would have to forget his own worries in favor of hulking out.

When Bruce woke up, he was in a fresh set of clothes in a stranger’s home, on a strange bed. A fireplace burned bright blue flames keeping him warm.

“Thor?” was the first thing he asked.

“I’m right here.” Thor responded, engulfing Bruce in his arms, hugging him. Simultaneously, he was rubbing his back in comforting circles.

“Is everything okay?”

Thor murmured into his shoulder, and buried his face into Bruce’s neck. His hot breathe tickling him.

Letting him go, Bruce asked another question. “How long was I out?”

Thor’s worried expression told him he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“At least two weeks, not counting the two days you slept,” he said, running a gentle hand across Bruce’s cheek and allowed it to rest there. “Why did you think I was going to leave you?”

“Did hulk know?”

Thor nodded. “He sensed something was wrong. Kept saying ‘Banner Scared. How Puny.’ It was cute how he was trying to protect you. It took us a while to convince him everything was okay.”

Thor was still cupping his cheek. “Bruce, my love, why would you think such a thing?”

“You’ve been acting off Thor… I don’t know. It was weird and -”

Dropping his hand, Thor reached into a leather pocket on his thigh. Bruce stopped rambling when, Thor placed a light silver necklace around his neck. He went onto both of his knees, and grasped both of Bruce’s hands.

“Bruce Banner, I, Thor Son of Odin, am submitting myself to you. With no question in my heart, I want to be with you in this life and the next hundred. I ask if I may bind our spirits together in what midgard calls matrimony.” Thor bowed his head. An Asgardian king would only do this to someone who earned it.

Bruce never felt quite as stupid. He realized that all this time Thor was thinking of proposing rather than breaking up.

Still holding Thor’s hands, Bruce left the bed, and went on his knees also. He faced a stunned and flushed Thor.

“Thor, Son of Odin, I, Bruce Banner, am submitting myself to you. I want to spend every life and universe with you. Please, marry me.”

Pulling each other into a kiss, the two lovebirds remained, crouching on the floor of a stranger's home. It was like having the whole universe to themselves. At least until Loki walked in demanding they hurry up. What a fucking mood killer that was.

Weeks later as the revengers strolled into a steady routine, Bruce decided to ask something that had been on his mind since the proposal.

“Thor,” Bruce walked up to him, as he stood near another window, smiling, as he gazing at the stars. “So are we going to have a wedding? I think it would help going back to Earth and having one with all our friends unless you think-”

“Wait.” Thor whipped his head to look at Bruce, his eyes confused and mouth agape.

“I mean would you want like a winter wedding or.. I’m not too sure how Asgardian ceremonies work, but I will be happy to incorporate every ounce of your culture. Speaking of Asgard are we inviting everyone?? Like all of Asgard?? Cause then we would have to like rent out an island and technically we have no money but I’m sure Tony would help out once he finds out we’re engaged and-”

“Engaged? Haven’t we been married this whole time?”

Now it was Bruce’s turn to be shocked. Both men looked at each other, appalled, before falling into laughter.

For Bruce, it was a learning moment, and he hoped that he and Thor could have centuries to continue learning from one another.

They did have a universe to save after all.

[fanfictionized]

Help Me Help You - Hatred Is A Sickness Of The Heart (23/?)

Character: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader / OFC

Chapter summary: Her inner demon is something Annabelle has not yet proven to be able to control. Fate thought it'd be a good idea to let her figure that out the hard way.

Warnings: Lots of violence, very graphic descriptions, attempted sexual assault, angst, flashbacks

Words: 1.8k

Previous Chapter // Help Me Help You - Masterlist

Once in the lab, Bruce examined her all while Bucky stood closely by her side, watching the doctor’s every move as he checked her pulse, cleaned her wound on her cheek and her bloody knuckles.

She was still crying, although quietly, sniffs rattling her frame every now and then, and Bucky’s thoughts had become violent.

He could see the man’s neck snapping in his mind and it felt good. He could feel his fist smashing into his nose, splattering blood on his metal arm. Oh, what joy he felt at that thought.

His knuckles turned white from clenching his fists too hard, his left arm whirring with the effort at the sight of the finger-shaped bruises that had manifested themselves on her skin. They were under all the dried up blood that Bruce had mostly wiped away.Her body was vibrating on the couch, still trembling from the fear that had shaken her core.

He followed the path of her injuries, the idea of what might have happened becoming clearer.

He thanked whatever god there was for the fact that her jeans were still intact and because she had been able to walk back to the tower.

Of cause it didn’t mean that she hasn’t had to fight off a sexual assault, though.

They saw the news. ‘Murderer and sex offender’ was what the woman on the TV had said.

It has had to be him. The bits and pieces of him still clinging to her clothing, and since he had hugged her so closely to his body, clinging to him as well.She just sat there, silent tears running over her face. Snivels were the only sounds coming from her while Bruce made sure to bandage her up.

“Okay, it’s all good now-” He started to talk, but Annabelle only looked at Bucky, who had his arms crossed, fidgeting on the spot with his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

She ignored the rest Bruce had to say about her injuries, nodding absentmindedly.

Then she stood up onto wobbly legs, walked into her room, closed the door in front of Bucky’s nose, and walked straight into the shower.

She stood under the way too hot stream of water while letting it clean her skin from all the blood and gore. She stared down for minutes, watching the pink water run down the drain. It didn’t seem to clear up again.

It had already seeped into her pores and it made her furiously rub at her sensitive skin, tug at the congealed strands of her hair until it all came loose and with another wracking sob she collapsed on the tiled floor of her shower.

Every atom of her being screamed in unison. She was hanging on a thread, traumatized beyond belief.

And she wondered if that was just what her life was like now.Just more and more memories stalking her to keep her up at night and she closed her eyes for a second, leaning her head against the cool tiles while her brain hardly stopped her from reviving the latest events.

***

“We’re gonna have some fun, slut.” He rattled through his throat and with the rapid beat of her heart and the stars filling her vision, she suddenly felt lightheaded until something was beginning to take over.

It was anger that rose up, boiling deep in her system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction. She felt its twisting and winding starting in her chest and she remembered this feeling, knowing what came with it would, like the lava, be unstoppable and destroy everything in its path.

She knew it’s too much for her to contain. To tame and handle.

The pressure of this raging sea of hate and rage would force her to do things she had no control over, things she had tried to suppress for weeks at a time. Getting out of everybody’s way before erupting into this furious state.

Normally she knew the feeling would pass. Standing inside the silent, calm space of her bedroom, sure. But there was no space. There was no way out.

Only this man’s sweaty form pressed pressed against her that made her want to kick and scream, feeling the hard press of his erection against her hip and the only thing she felt besides the panic making her visceral, was the pure hate coloring her insides and her soul. 

It spread though her system like a network of poisonous spider web, filling her up to the brim until she felt it streaming out of her pores.She gritted her teeth from trying to remain silent, her face red with the effort of holding it back until it washed over her in tidal waves, shutting down all other feelings and becoming the only goal.She blinked once, twice, and she felt her vision changing, her focus concentrating on her one and only prey

.She still felt the change in her subconscious mind, saw the reflection of two black orbs staring into his eyes, and his grimace faded, along with the nasty thrill of anticipation she had seen glimmering within. He let go of her abruptly, her hunched form exuding an animosity that was like acid; burning, slicing, potent.

Deadly.

But that time was different. She knew what she was doing. She didn’t watch it through a spyhole in the back of her mind, locked up until she had the upper hand again.She was the upper hand. And she was screeching a demanded release in the form of violence, engulfing her moralities and she didn’t care one. Single. Bit.

She hadn’t even swung her first punch yet and she saw the man that had been towering above her only ten seconds earlier, humping against her like some fucking mutt, now all but a quivering heap.

How weak he was.The adrenaline gave her the power and it felt so fucking good.

He couldn’t control himself? Fine, then

I shall control you.

“You filthy” She stepped closer “Fucking” Another step. 

He had fear written all over his face, his back pressed against the brick wall in front of her 

“Piece of shit.” She hissed and closed her fist.She lunged out and felt the crack of his jaw underneath her knuckles, along with his shrill yell ringing in her ears. It felt almost orgasmic.

His form started to slump, both of his hands holding his shattered jaw, but she grabbed the fabric of his jacket covering his shoulders and just dug her nails into the taut muscle underneath and with one twist of her torso and a steady stance she used all of her force to whirl the man against the wall behind them.His cries and whines had been reduced to whimpers.

But this wasn’t cruelty, no. This was mercy and justice combined.

She would be doing the world a huge fucking favor and she would not rest until he had been beaten. Not just beaten down. That, she had already accomplished with the snap of his bones. She meant dead.She didn’t need him to suffer, just needed to see the opacity of his cornea. The blue-white haze inside his pupils that appeared after death. 

Anyone else might have thought that she overreacted, but his mistake was that he had underestimated.The opaque and dense gas-like shape that poured out of the palms of her hands and her fingertips felt like a relief as it had been built up underneath her skin, begging to finally be freed.

And with her hand pointing at him, her fingers twitching and twisting like they themselves were the creature that found itself a way inside of the gasping body, entering through his nose and mouth… She knew it was her.

Whatever that was, it had become a part of her, since she could feel the ripple of his throat, the slimy inside of his lungs, the raspy breath that tried to force itself inside, make space where there was none, more blackness already occupying it.But it felt not enough. She didn’t need him to suffer.So she made a downward motion with her hands gesturing as if they clawed at the air, another rapid gush of coiling strands followed after, more and more filling the man’s insides.

His belly swelled, his chest expanded. The veins in his eyes had popped like balloon snakes, his sclera filled with blood as he stared into the sky above him while her telepathic commands wriggled their way through his insides, goring through him like a red-hot dagger and making his lifeless form jerk from the inside out. 

She did not notice the lack of space in the already dead man’s body, nor did she flinch as it burst open to make more room for it, popping like an overripe watermelon that had hit the pavement.

She felt the splatter of hot blood on her skin, felt it soaking her clothes and the skin underneath. The stench of iron hung heavily in the air due to the ripped-open cadaver that was splayed out on the moist and cold ground. Her vision had turned back to normal and the second time she took a closer look at the scene, the lynching in front of her, there was no more hate flooding her senses, numbing her feelings and clouding her mind.

It was just her, the girl from the small-town.

The girl who had cried when she had stepped on her dog’s tail, the one who caught ladybugs and freed them outside instead of squishing them. 

She walked backwards, out of the alley and down the street. She wasn’t stopping for anyone, her lungs quickly filling with icy air, her chest constricting with the sight still resting in front of her eyes. Her clothes and hair stuck to her skin.Was it blood or sweat or a mixture of both?Her skin felt like it was roasting, the sting in her legs prominent, but she didn’t dare stopping. Running and running away from that nightmare.

Running until she had found back home.She laid into bed, her skin still burning with the ferocious scrubs she had made it suffer through.

She had stopped crying some time after her flashback in the shower. She knew that the worst part about what she had done was not that she did it, or even how wrong, how so against all of her morals it had been, but that she had enjoyed it.

She felt an unspeakable disgust for herself, a dirtiness on her skin she couldn’t rub off, no matter how much she tried.And it only made her curl up under the covers, hoping to flee from this devilish side of her that the serum had called up.

Or had it been inside of her the whole time? 

She couldn’t think of it or the images branded into her memory forever.

She just needed this horrible day to end,

was that too much to ask for?

.

.

.

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@humanexile @alt-er-love-er-alt @sam-jae @kimmiestrawberrykiwi

[kookingtae]

the equation of love pt. 10 (PREVIEW)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9

→scenario: When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

→genre: smut | fluff | angst

→a/n: so bc ive taken over a year to update this series (which i am SO sorry about) and bc i love you guys so much… i decided to post a little preview of the finale for you all to read :”))

Running water.

It was such a simple, yet fascinating concept—atoms and molecules coming together to form the only substance on earth that has a natural state in all forms, while having the power to kill in three different ways. Solid, by hypothermia; liquid, by drowning; gas, by suffocation. This substance can take three different forms, yet it’s most commonly a liquid, covering nearly 71% of the world with translucent bodies of water. Oceans, ponds, lakes—though the most enchanting of them all were rivers. They were always moving, crashing beyond rocks and bustling with the flow of the current and gravitational pull of the earth. Rivers were passionate, and strong, and no matter how hard one tried, they couldn’t break the whipping tide that was pushing against them. Nothing could cause the powerful force to falter.

But, like most things, even rivers must come to an end. The current stops flowing, and the waves stop breaking around the jagged rocks, and the powerful force that seemed it would never end dulls to a still, calm lull, as if the river was nothing more than a brief yet raging storm. All the passion, all the fight—all over in a blink of an eye, left to dissipate into the mysteries of the vast ocean.

Staring down at the picture of Yoongi and I kissing on the cell phone screen in front of me was like getting pulled by the current of a river; down, down, down I flowed until there was no river left around me and I was left stranded in the middle of the vast open sea. Yoongi and I were once raging, and passionate, and ready to fight against anyone who tried to tear us down, but now the fight was over. We had been dragged too far, fading into a body of water that was not our own. This was bigger than us.

Yes, like the flow of a river, all things must come to an end.

“That’s it,” Yoongi gritted his teeth, and I felt the dip of the mattress beneath me as he rose to his feet in anger.

“Yoongi,” I called his name in a warning tone, warily standing up from the bed and watching him move around the room. “What are you doing?”

“I’m over it,” he said, hastily throwing the first articles of clothing he could grab from his drawers over his body. “I’m done dealing with all of this, Y/N! I’m going up to the school.”

Despite the flare of determination that sparked in my heart at his words, his rage seeming to radiate off of him and spread onto me, I couldn’t help the trepidation that I was also filled with. Yoongi didn’t have a history of making rational decisions out of anger.

“Don’t you think you should calm down first?” I offered, trying my best to match his pace around the room.

“No!” Yoongi suddenly skidded to a halt in front of me, his eyes wild and crazed. “I’m going to find her and I’m going to fucking kill her!”

I could only stand with a gaping mouth and watch as he stormed out of the room, leaving me with no choice but to pull my old clothes on and chase his stomping foot steps. He grabbed his keys before storming out of the apartment, down the stairs, and outside into the parking lot. I tried to ignore the blindingly bright sunlight as I squinted my eyes and continued after him.

“Follow me up to the school,” Yoongi barked as he hopped into his car.

“Yoongi–” I started, but my consoling voice was cut off by the slam of his door. I frowned, scrambling to unlock my vehicle as his engine roared to life.

The drive to the university was a nerve-wracking one. I kept a watchful eye on Yoongi to make sure he wasn’t speeding or swerving all over the road; they say you’re not supposed to operate a vehicle while you’re upset. Though it would seem my efforts were futile, because he did in fact speed and swerve, and all I could do was frown and try to keep up.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t angered by Professor Lee; I was furious, rage and disgust and frustration all stewing inside of me like a pot of hot water that was ready to boil over. But I just couldn’t help but worry for Yoongi. I had always been the non-confrontational type, always hoping that with a little time things would get better if they were ignored long enough. But it would seem that my method was proven inefficient today, because as much as I had tried to ignore her antics, that wicked woman wouldn’t stop at anything to make sure Yoongi and I were properly dragged through the mud and going down like a ship engulfed in flames. Yet as much as that angered me, I couldn’t bare the thought of the turmoil it was causing Yoongi. I didn’t know when I had started casting my own feelings aside and putting his above—it was a gradual thing rather than one, defining moment—but it was only another factor that proved how much I actually loved this man. And that very thought instilled a fear that shook me to the very bone.

We had a lot more to lose now than just his job and my education. We could be losing us. And that was more important now than it had ever been before.

Once we arrived at the university there were a lot of screeching brakes, messy parking and fumbling hands as I scrambled to catch up to his looming figure that seemed to stalk towards the building at an unnatural pace. The pounding of my heavy heartbeat was what drove me forward, anxiety rising with each quickened step that I took.

“Yoongi!” I yelled once I had lessened the distance between us, now dead center on the campus sidewalk. “Yoongi, wait!”

All of a sudden he whirled around, his abrupt halt causing me to crash straight into his chest. I let out a yelp in surprise, eyes wide and ready to interrogate him, before I felt the smooth curvature of his palms on either side of my face as he tilted my head up to his and slammed his mouth onto mine.

The world stopped spinning for a moment, everything around me fading into the motions of his plush skin, his soft lips exploding with flavor the way a grape would burst onto my tongue when I bit down, its juices spilling over my tastebuds and satisfying my thirst in a way that no water ever could. I didn’t even question it for a second before I was melting into him, quite literally becoming putty in his hands as the rest of the world instantaneously escaped my mind.

It’s funny the way that worked—the way he was able to completely erase everything that had once existed in the blink of an eye, just by his simple touch. Whether it was magic, or I was just that fucking whipped, I didn’t know. But either way, I didn’t possess the power to stop it even if I wanted to.

When Yoongi finally broke away, he was breathing heavily, his breath fanning across my face in cool puffs of air. “I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore,” he spoke onto my lips, his forehead pressing against mine with a firm force. “Let them see. The only thing I care about is you.”

It was then that I was suddenly aware of our surroundings, the reality of our world crashing down around me as I glanced around at all the eyes watching us. It varied; there were those choosing to spare us a glance as they walked to and from their classes, those who stalled their current actions to lift their heads to us not once, not twice, but three times, and then there were those who stopped altogether, their widened eyes and slackened jaws dead giveaways that they knew exactly who Yoongi was: Professor Min, Algebra 101 instructor.

A stroke of his thumb across my cheek brought my attention back to him; I stared up into his eyes, the desperate look in them captivating me and making it impossible to look away. His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt, his fingers were grappling at my face as he brushed my wisps of hair out of the way, silently begging me to understand, to agree with him.

And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.

My lungs were filled with a breath of newfound determination, dazed and driven by Yoongi’s words and embrace. “I love you,” I spoke with conviction, caressing the nape of his neck as if to give him more reassurance. “Let’s go.”

With that I grabbed his hand, holding my head high for the rest of the campus to see as I started up Yoongi’s stride towards the school’s building. He was right beside me, weaving his fingers through mine and giving my hand an extra squeeze as if to say that he was here, that he was proud to let the world know that I was his and he was mine, and that he wasn’t going anywhere.

We were going to take down Professor Lee.