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suffarustuffaru · 10 months ago

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i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic

ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!

this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:

anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).

anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )

also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.

AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("

but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................

yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.

and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.

(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)

anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??

and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -

oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.

julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...

but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.

then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????

and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.

julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.

otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.

julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.

and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.

julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.

otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.

yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!

ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:

#rezero #re:zero #arc 5-8 spoilers #yes i made this post also so i can dramatically drop the wip title for this fic idea at the end of it and then laugh to myself bc i think #its the most perfect title of all time.#also adding up all of the rezero boy drama is important to me ok. and i was mostly going into the julius side of things in this post aldsjf #it gets messier when you remember reinsuba. and ottosuba. and reinotto. its incredibly funny to me. truly the worlds worst love pentagon.#or love square???? love shape????#on a serious note i would love to see more queer stories exploring like. a person's different relationships over the years. bc sometimes it #does feel like this you know?? having drastically different dynamics with each person and each person knows you in different ways!!#its a fun character study exercise. and it feels true to life imo. you grow and change throughout your life and your relationships at each #time period can kind of reflect who you were as a person at the time. if that makes sense. idk i have many feelings on it HAH #natsuki subaru #reinhard van astrea #otto suwen #julius juukulius #also i do often hc reinhard otto julius as being on the ace spectrum. i dont really write otto being ace in mind for Every wip i do but yes #i do have these hcs and reasoning for them!!! also specifically i hc reinhard as being on the aroace spectrum. these are just hcs of course #hah but yes i quite like my hcs for them.

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scrollll · 1 year ago

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Hi there :) I'm sorry to bother you but this is very important because you are now the chosen Ace who can give me their perspective on Zouey. I have adamantly argued that Zouey can be read as being on the ace spectrum but some of my friends say that's not realistic. My arguments: - He gets aroused by things that are removed from reality (hentai) and in moments where there is no risk of actually having to be sexual with the person (Teena as a model) but he struggles to enjoy the "real" thing -> sounds very aegosexual to me. - He says sex is for everybody but him. Later he changes that to "sex might be for him if it's combined with love" -> that could either hint at him being demi or it could mean that he is willing to have sex out of love for his significant other (as many aces do). - He can give pleasure and touch others but doesn't like to be touched -> this feels ace to me but I can't really explain why - Even when he touches Teena, he often struggles with things that are "more" sexual (like touching genitals) -> could be that he feels strong sensual attraction towards Teena. He also seems to distance himself from the reality of the situation by escaping into the fantasy of hentai, another thing many aces do because the reality of sex actually turns them off. - He thinks he wants to have penetrative sex with Teena but then doesn't enjoy it

Their strongest counter argument is that Zouey gave Teena a bj in episode 1. Now, I see their point. And I don't think Zouey being acespec is the only valid interpretation of his character. I like some of the other interpretations just as much. BUT I hate when people tell me that he can't possibly be on the ace spec. We have so little representation as it is and telling us that a character who speaks to us actually can't be like us feels shitty. I'm ace myself but my experience with sex is quite different from his. From your post it seems that you can relate to Zouey a lot. So if you feel comfortable sharing your perspective, I'm sure that would be valuable not only for me but for other aces as well. Thanks for making that post! (Also that Chinese definition of asexuality is so badass xD)

For starters, my sweet love anon, thank you so much for this ask and a big warm hug through the internet for you if you feel comfortable with it :D

And it's no bother, I like talking and writing XD

And regarding Zouey... welp, you asked, so I will deliver but be prepared for a longer essay XD

Let's start with the basics for those who are not quite familiar with asexuality: asexuality is a broad spectrum with many different nuances, gray areas and so on.

In the asexual community (as well as in some others), a distinction is made between romantic and sexual orientation. It is therefore possible to love a person romantically and still have no or only very limited sexual desires.

So: Asexual people fall in love with others, they want romantic or platonic relationships, but mostly without feeling sexual attraction for them.

Asexuality doesn't always mean that a person doesn't have sex. Yep, it may sound strange at first, but it's true. Many asexual people satisfy themselves or have sex, e.g. because they want to have a child, but nothing more. Some asexuals who are sex-positive or sex-neutral, i.e. who are not repulsed by the idea of sexual activity or are simply indifferent to it, have had sex or participate in sexual acts.

So an asexual who has sex will not suddenly become homosexual or straight, they can still feel like they belong to the ace spectrum. There are a variety of labels that break it all down and all fall under the ace umbrella, like placiosexual, lithosexual, cupiosexual, but to make a long story short, for many of us it's just too complicated :) So many just prefer "Ace-spec" or Ace-spectrum, but that's a personal preference of myself and a few ace friends of mine. It's nice to know the labels, but usually just too complicated for everyday use XD

And I also rank Zouey's blowjob from EP.1 on the ace spectrum. You very aptly mentioned the point that Zouey gets aroused by things that aren't part of reality. I think in EP 1 the blowjob went in exactly that direction.

For Zouey, as we also find out later, Teena is first of all a beautiful work of art himself. In his imagination, he sees him more as a statue that he can touch than as a person. Only when he runs into the bathroom does this bubble burst for the moment.

Zouey seems very overwhelmed to me, which I can understand, because he normally only experiences sexual stimulation from two-dimensional figures. Teena, however, crosses the line. For Zouey, he is at first only a two-dimensional figure on his easel, but at the same time he exists in real life. Zouey, who only knows sexual attraction based on hentai or pictures, is now confused as to whether this means that he finds Teena or only Teena's picture (similar to Jump's) attractive.

At this moment, however, I don't think he really got anything like sexual arousal or desire from Teena himself. It was, as I said, initially only Teena's picture that aroused him, the confusion comes because Teena runs after him and Zouey is undecided whether he should treat him like an aesthetic art object or like a human being and whether he would still find him attractive as a human being at all.

Zouey decides in favor of safety. He wants to return to the art room, back in front of his canvas and the distance he knows and feels comfortable with.

The blowjob is initiated by Teena putting Zouey's hand on his crotch, making it clear that he is not just interested in a conversation and certainly doesn't want to go back to painting.

And Zouey knows that.

In a household like that with Captain and Porsche, it's pretty much impossible to avoid the topic of sex permanently. As an ace, we may not be interested in sex, but especially if you have friends who are very sexually active, you get a lot of information.

And you can't tell me that the baddie bunch hasn't talked about blowjob tactics and the like at least thirty times. Especially because really none of them can shut up and Captain and Porsche are very keen to get Zouey deflowered soon.

So Zouey presumably knows the stories from his friends and knows on a logical level what it means when someone practically hands you their dick on a silver platter. And he has the theoretical knowledge, so why not try it out, especially with an aesthetically pleasing man like Teena, who is a painting come to life for him from an artistic perspective?

What I'm trying to say is that I don't think it was a real sexual attraction at that moment, but rather an action-reaction. Of course, attraction can also play a role, but as I said, it doesn't have to be sexual, it can have an aesthetic origin, especially with Zouey's artistic mind.

Sex-indifferent aces are not repulsed by all sexual acts, so if our partner desires certain types of satisfaction and we feel like doing it, why not?

As the episode progresses, Zouey gives Teena another blowjob, but still dear people, Bj does not equal sex. Zouey still clearly shows his rejection of penetrative sex, or sexual acts that involve him. And that's pretty typical of us aces, or at least the ones I've met on the spectrum so far.

It feels okay to read about or watch sexual acts (mostly for aesthetic reasons rather than masturbation, but I don't want to generalize) because in 3rd perspective you are detached from the action and can look at it objectively.

You're not involved and that's nice.

By satisfying Teena, Zouey can still keep himself uninvolved. A nice term under the Ace umbrella for this is: Placiosexual (meaning a person that is okay and comfortable with performing sexual actions onto others but is uncomfortable having sexual acts performed onto them) This can still have limits and gradations, such as no penetrative sex in general or sexual acts under certain conditions.

As I said, also with the further development in the series and the way he deals with Teena and sexual innuendos, Zouey just feels very ace-coded to me. He moves on the spectrum, again, labels are nothing solid, but the vibes and the whole thing… Yeah, he is a fellow oft he ace for me XD

I wouldn't be surprised if he turns into Demi or Gray-ace, but his general view of sex and the way he's starting to expand his comfort zone bit by bit is very familiar to me from myself and my adventures on the asexual spectrum XD

However you interpret Zouey, for me he's chilling on the ace-spec XD It's my personal interpretation of him and I'll stick with that for now. I don't want to badmouth anyone's idea of Zouey, in the end he's a fictional character that we can interpret differently :)

But it feels very nice to have someone who thinks similarly :D

So, before this gets way too long, I'll make a cut here, but feel free to write me or send an ask if I should clarify anything :)

#anon ask #asexuality #i am nowhere near a 'pro' this is just my humble opinion and view #may have worded something wrong but i hope you get my idea XD #didn't want to go on a personal rant about my discover of asexuality so i tried to keep the focus on zouey #still #to my fellow aces we all experience different stuff that's why it is a fun little spectrum^^#don't let anyone tell you how you should feel or act to be considered ace #although i personally don't see it that strict with interpretations or headcannons. there are some i prefer. some i don't.#i prefer zouey being ace because yeah it fits this series about sex drugs and rock'roll XD #playboyy the series #playboyy meta #is it?#teena x zouey

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