#all i want to do now is scream and cry
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flashlight lyrics are stuck in my brain
#the front bottoms#tfb#right now i want to scream this song throughout the entire apartment so that my family and all my neighbors can hear#art#traditional art#painting#artists on tumblr#sketch#sketchbook#traditional artist#oh to run into the forest while your family doesn't even notice you and scream tfb songs into the lake#all i want to do now is scream and cry#little vent in hashtags eheh (venti voice)#lorochkinart
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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youtube
#Sleep Token#Youtube#i don't#i don't cry from music often#and i guess i still haven't considering what this was#but the intro monologue to this performance#made me burst into tears in under 60 seconds just now#first it was slow#just teared up a little bit... i didn't even realize what it was saying.. much less that it was from HIM#and then he said something and it was full on sobbing#I'd go check again to tell you what it was but I just pulled myself back together and I can't like do that again#what the frick...#like vessel doesn't talk during performances ever bc y'know he's possessed by whatever gave him some of the coolest music in existence#so this monologue like touches all the more... he's SPEAKING to US#THANKING US#for listening to the music that he -in this case- put so much of his pain into#he knows we're thankful for them#but he's also thankful for us#and then like as the song goes on he just pounds those keys and screams those lyrics and the vesselette has to go check on him at the end#like frick if that doesn't mess you up... aguuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh#...#I just wanted to see what a live performance of bloodsport was and apparently I clicked on the worst one bc nowhere else does this play#sleep token thank you
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Do you ever get possessed to do a fucked up woman OC and she's all you been able to think about for the last few days??
Anyway Gregory Hawthorne my beloved
#I am applying to a roleplay group with her#So if she doesn't get accepted I kick and scream and cry /lh#Also btw Gregory is a character I had for a while#She has a kitty ver. who is an npc in Venture's storyline!#The thing tho is that I been meaning to play something with her and ough now I got the chance and all the energy has focused on her#Also. The thing on her nose/forehead is like... Owl nose hair-feathers thing#She is a bit weird not 100% human which means I inflict her with bird#Really I just wanted to do the nose detail people do to some characters and then the feather thing came as an excuse lol#anyways#digital art#ocs#human ocs
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WHOEVER THE FUCK IS RECOMMENDING MED PPL TO GO INTO RADIOLOGY JUST CUS IF THE MONEY, IM GONNA FUCKING gET YOU
#first i had ai dictacting schedules and now the radiologists just thought there was a AHHGGRHHH#YES. YES U CAN MAKE MONEY GOING INTO RADIOLOGY. BUT DO NO T. JU ST. GO INTO IT. for the MONEY#MEDICINE IS FKING PAIN BCS BUSINESS IS A PAIN & PPL ARE IN PAIN & PPL ARE A PAIN#like it is Very. ppl orientated it's FKING MEDICINE and even if ure a vet or whatever theres obvs usually humans attached fo animals#so like u might not always be dealing with the ppl but ur coworkers who are also being directly accounting#for the ppl SURE AS HELL DO#like yea ppl die all the time but ure telling me u dont gaf when u couldve done something to stop a LIFE#a HUMAN LIFE that was DEPENDING ON U just doing a like tiny action in the grand scheme of ur things#but ends up a major life changer to them even if they dont always have the knowledge to recognize it#and u let them die bcs of the money#i cant fcking STANDDDDDD IT ohmy GAWD.#also like radiology is not all that hunky dory like radiactive is part of the fking name like#UGHHHH LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE SCOLDING MY PTS WHY TF AM I SCOLDING MFS FOR MY PTS#anyways yea tho totally just join medicine for the money it's tofally not a massive damage to u n society#but also . fuck society for making ppl feel like they only have this choice or it's starvation bcs thats also so fking real fuc that#but bro at least try not to fuck ppl over once u gain a position just bcs u happened to be in a bad mood today like#medicine is Literally. horror. it's not that 'i watch pimple popping videos haha i can handle it' horror . it's literally.#the horror of treating humans like humans while never allowed to be one urself kind of horror#it's watching a little girl crying and a big bulky father weeping like a small child bcs his wife died#&then u step out the room and a pt throws his poop at u bcs he keeps lying to u abt not having any alcohol &wants to go home but has no ride#wants a million opiods and has been absolutely wailing at ur staff and if he leaves ama it docks u so now u gotta#peruse a bunch of legal documents to try and figure out a loophole on how to get him outta here while also dealing with 60 other pts#on the brink of death or intensely septic and the whole time ure trying to save them u got bitches screaming in ur ear abt the#north carolina fluid shortage like btch fuck that im giving this kid the shit they need to survive fuck off#especially funny bcs theres fluids available but we refuse to buy them bcs theyre for a higher price than our og supplier like ok#anyways#love my life
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Something about how Raph would have the most to return to when it comes to being helpful—there’s only so much Donnie can eat, and there’s only so much Leo can physically heal before having to face the fact that most of the wounds are emotional. Raph can keep going though, the way he always has, he can keep going, he can be better this time, he can be the big brother he was supposed to be for all of them and this will never happen again never never never never
#ask#canary continuity#rottmnt#ooooh and these play into the insecurities he LEVERAGED against donnie while under the curse#raph and donnie both have really clear cut Roles in the family and this influences who they are. and a lot of the time how they interact#and raph while cursed pushed and pushed and pushed as a matter of projection#while fundamentally failing to do HIS job because of it#he didnt even look up during the protein shake prank. he kicked the closet door and passively complained later#he let mikey and leo hunt donnie for sport (he only intervened and joined the fight because leo got hurt which was the thing that broke his#self-restraint)#he told donnie he was selfish over and over and over again#and worst of all he did the most damage to him physically. he destroyed donnies passion for the only hobby he had#he used his strength against his little brothers when had SWORN he never would. never like that#and now donnie cant even hear his voice without screaming and crying#raph cant console him. he really wants to and he cant#theyre actually going to have a bit of an encounter next chapter and Ermmm (it does not go well)#theres been glimpses of how leo and mikey have been taking it but ive been brushing over raph and like. honestly hes been doing the worst#he's a shadow on the wall. he's so quiet and subdued and distant#all he wants is to make it better and it is plaguing his every waking thought. your assessment is correct on him#im not sure if CW is really going to go to the return to normalcy after the worst has passed but i assume he'd get super overprotective-#-from this point on!
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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what is it abt getting into an argument w yr mother that instantly makes you suicidal .
#oh my fucking god i misunderstood something and made a face bc i was confused and then we were yelling. hell world#im like. angela we aren't taking the box cutter out. grow the fuck up#literally went from talking abt the weather to screaming at each other over something she fucking made up. i want to die so bad sometimes#so many incidents r like. what did i do tell me what i did. no i did not fucking mean it like that. and now you don't believe me cool#so so so often she just gets mad at me bc she doesn't like my expression or tone of voice but i don't mean it Like That i i never do i just#i have never been able to project any negative emotion ever including like. neutral confusion. nothing#'you're in your room all the time' yeah because i somehow fuck up every other time i talk to you and im tired of crying every three days
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#thats all🧍♂️#i mean honestly speaks for itself (even if im not sure what it is)#coworkers and true romantics!#“i get really into romance AND YK I DO” excuse me now what? how would she exactly why would she who am i???#the thing is just that i want to scream from the top of my lungs.#yeah uh they just both really like romance (apparently!) (T is either “romance? idk her!” or “i cry when ppl r in love bc im sappy” ...)#trixie mattel#katya zamo#trixya#trixie & katya#iltw
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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hihi i’ve come with a gift
i don’t feel like i got your face right but i used ur insta for reference 😓
i js did unscarred toya bc rockstar au why not
elle i i ellie i e
#elle i love#i heart yiu#oh my gog#wait i need to calm down#fyi i screamed when i saw this#omgomgomgkmgojgomgkmgomgogm#touya is sosossoso pretty#hes so gorgeous in your art style#rockstar touya has a chokehold on me#and you served me w rockstar touya#second of all NOOO you didnt get my face wrong#it looks like me like the hair the eyes the nose#ITS PERFECT#oh ky goodness i cant stop staring at it#i am MESMERIZED...#elle do you want me to bow down to you#praise u and perhaps kiss the ground you step on#i cannot thank u enough for this#THE ART IS SOSOSOSO PERFECT.#its just#wow ....#i love is so much im gonna cry#very smitten with it right now#its going to be my hyperfixation for the next 2 weeks bro#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#okay i think im done now#THANK YOU SO MUCH ELLE WELLIE PELLIE MELLIE SELLIE#i heart you lots man#★ elle#⋆ ❨ sennies ❩ ֢֢֢ ۟
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...3, 2, 1 personal rant incoming
(it's depressing I'm sorry)
#this year was...a lot#like from the lowest to one of the best moments#my grandmother died in summer and with it my whole family is gone it feels like now it's just my sisters and me#it feels weird and lonely#she and my grandfather raised us basically so it hits very hard#thankfully my brain just shut this out entirely#then we went to Japan on my dream trip one moment I wanted to cry the other just wanted to enjoy my life#I was waiting and saving for that trip so long#kid me would be so surprised and probably couldn't believe it#so many things happened and now I'm don't know how to put it...just feel free?#and just lost a bit#personal#delete later#I don't like to share these things but I'm gonna burst out if I don't scream into the void#2024 will be even more challenging#siiiiigh#as for art idk what I want to do#I will try to take less comms and keep it as a hobby probably#it never really worked out in the end how I wanted it to be#the clients through the years were all amazing and helped my growth as an artist do I'm forever grateful for that 🖤#strange times for sure
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this man just broke my heart
#have you ever cried and sobbed throughout hour-long work zoom meeting#wanting to scream 'what's the fucking point in all this bullshit when Toni Kroos is retiring'#well I have now#toni kroos#how do I stop crying?! my eyes just keep pouring tears#how am I supposed to watch CL final knowing it's his last match?#I mean I won't see anything through the tears again#RM you better win it!#and I can't believe I'm saying it and I'm forever Furia Roja supporter but#Germany NT you better win the Euro#that man needs one more trophy to the collection#real madrid
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most days I'm so chill with the fact I'm non-contact with my father, it was the best decision, I hate him, my life is so much more peaceful without him
then bam it's a random Tuesday at 8pm and I'm sobbing because I miss having a dad, like, excuse me what is this??
#im ping ponging between its all his fault he made all those decisions to maybe he was doing what he thought was right#i barely ever had a dad so i dont know what im crying for pff#if he died tomorrow I'm not sure I'd go to his funereal I don't want him at my wedding#but sometimes I want him to just hold me and read me narnia like he did when I was 9#my parents were terrible but its cause they didnt know what they were doing but i dont know how to make peace with that#would it have killed them to be nice to me?#this is very simplified but yk#gonna go read some draco scorpius centred fanfics now to make me cry more cant wait!!#i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM I HATE HIM#but i didnt always and i dont want to but there are things you just cant take back#anywayz thats enough trauma dumping on main lmfao#if anyone has any father child centred fanfictions do let me know and give them to me plz thanks#daddy issues#are screaming#scorpius malfoy#and god do i hate his new wife#this is way too many tags im sorry to anyone whos made it down here lmfao
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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
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