#all fancy and shit lol
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Bird app has fallen, im home brothers and sisters
I missed yall
#omg#hannah mumbles#how long has it been#since I used that tag#or tagged in general#many years. I remember them all.#not really#it’s a blur mostly#but yee#I’m back#I’m an insurance agent now#all fancy and shit lol#ayyyeeee#also BG3 looks so fun omg I like the vampire a lot#and Hermitcraft still has my heart in a choke hold#also I’m living in a city now and man#I miss trees lol
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Tzimisce fashion show ft. Nikifor and Laszlo the Revenant
#vampire the masquerade#vtm#tzimisce#cw body horror#mine#nikifor#concept art#character designs#outfit design#laszlo zantosa#calling it outfit design bc fashion design is like. a bit too fancy i think. like im not alexander mcqueen i just draw shit#sorry abt all the vtm stuff but its gonna be vamptober + halloween soon and im excited.... also this is my blog lol#anyway nikifor does fleshcraft but he's also a fashion designer on his downtime. like he makes clothes that mimic flesh and bone or that#combine fleshcrafting with flesh fashion
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recently got the opportunity to make charms using some of my Ethersea art!!
I’ve ordered just these four samples for now, but if enough people were interested I’ve been entertaining the idea of opening a little shop to sell a few of them! I’m also planning on trying to make this Coriolis shaker charm I did some time ago real, ordering a standee of this piece, as well as designing a couple more additional things!!
I was initially making all of this merch just for myself bc I need objects of my blorbos to live, but since several of my friends have expressed interest in owning them, I thought I’d see how the wider ethersea nation felt abt it too!
(you can find the full art used in these charms here and here! (since the photos aren’t very good LOL they look better in person))
#the adventure zone#the adventure zone ethersea#taz ethersea#taz#ethersea#romeo’s flowers#please excuse how shit the photos are I tried my best LOL#I don’t have any of those fancy lighting things everyone owns these days…but I think they came out ok regardless waha#I’ll probably make the tarot charms a little bigger if I order more but other than that they’re all so perfect I’m obsessed#I kno they won’t have a very wide appeal bc of how small the fandom is#but I that’s ok I’m just happy to give them to the few ppl I know would rlly like them :3#id in alt text#devo la main#amber gris#zoox anthellae
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congratulations christopher!
self indulgent near-future in which when christopher graduates high school buck n eddie take hiim to hawaii to celebrate and they all have a nice vacation over here. friend n i were brainrotting it a bit and we decided buck definitely hyperfixated on hawaii and stuff (history, nature, geography, mythology, etc)
#buddie#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#mustasekittens#i still struggle drawing all 3 of them its a nightmare#anyways gavin is getting really tall and i thought it would be kinda funny if he was almost taller than eddie once he's an adult#my friend and i expanded on buck's hawaii hyperfixation so there's def gonna be a short comic to follow this up LOL#the lei christopher is wearing is called a maile lei#theyre usually worn by men but anyone can wear a maile :]#maile lei are usually worn at grads/proms/weddings or just cuz!#buddie are married at this point. (wink wink. bucks ring. wink)#i shouldve made buck more sunburned#idk if people even read tags this far but anyways more little details#also idk smth smth buck wearing yellow eddie wearing blue n chris wearing green (although not exactly) bc theyre a weird blended family#the brand of shirts the 3 of them r wearing is called sig zane and its a local (fancy) aloha wear brand here! its based in hilo!!#my local friend who's from big island brought it up to me and i remembered it existed#i see people wear sig zane all the time here on oahu but i am so shit at remembering names. that is extended to clothing brands LMFAO#what i mean by fancy aloha wear i mean these fucking shirts cost upwards of $130-145 EACH.#and they are fucking BEAUTIFUL.#i did take some liberties with the designs for the 3 of them tho#buck and christopher's are almost directly referencing existing designs from their catalogue while i smplified one for eddie's#christopher's is an ulu (breadfruit) pattern and i kinda ate that ngl#i was originally gonna just use some stamp brushes i found on the csp asset store but they looked so tacky i just decided to draw them LOL#anyways enjoy this self indulgent stupid stuff who cares anymore
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happy pride month (25/30)
#shoutout kari this ones for u#namkook day. lets all cheer#this post is fully loaded. included i know for the Know u love me boy so that i love you lyric. happy pride month#lg bts#have i ever mentioned my namkook dream here. i had a wack dream abt them once#like it wasnt THEM but also it was. like they were actors in a movie idk alternate universe or some shit#but it was nighttime and snowing and blue and they met to go to a fancy dinner and it was glowing orange inside#and the vibe was like. long estranged exes with a painful breakup meeting to catch up/get closure/etc#and jungkook showed up ready to be all 'i still love u' but namjoon was like. i met someone new/im engaged now/etc and im really happy#and jungkook just had to be like. Oh. thats good im really happy for you#and it was like. they were never going to work but jk couldnt let go of him but namjoon moved on#LIKE THAT IS SO FUCKING SAD AND FOR WHAT????? I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE. WHAT TF WAS THAT#WHAT IN GODS NAME#and thats the only bts dream ive ever had. besides the one where i was at a jk concert and he made my friend give him her vape LOL
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Phil Lesters awful fashion sense for Dan inspired this piece
Anyways it’s still prom season right?
#ignore the fact that’s except for tsukasa they are all in the year below#idk just pretend it’s a general school dance#anyways i saw the final Dan outfit in the new dnp video and#im sorry i had to Rui would wear that shit#rui kamishiro#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#akito shinonome#mizuki akiyama#(they aren’t here but yeah they are#uhhhh kinda implied ruikasa + akirui ig#idk not really but also take it as you will#i will tag#ruikasa#as yeah a bit more concrete in this stupid sketch#not tagging all the groups this time lol#my art tag#I don’t know how to draw fancy clothes so just ignore the other threes outfits please#giving Rui freckles cause he like me fr#fuck it I’m tagging them#dan and phil
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N*loth is literally prime NPD representation and that's just how it is. Dat's just how i feel . if iiiiiii hear anyhing ab him needing to be humbled or put in his place i'll just tear my hair out right here and match his look. not even trying to lift him up or defend him i'm just defending the mentally ill skajrim characters nobody wants to understand,
#text#literally sick to my stomach from people sayin that shit omfg#no i'm exaggerating but be serious#my sk*rim NPD trifecta is n*loth + s*ddgeir + m*raak#s*ddgeir is the one you all should be humbling cause he's just gay (derogatory)) and materialistic#i swear n*loth didn't do anythign to any of you people he doesn't even like fancy stuff even tho he has the bag#people see a smart bih with a rocket science degree and just wanna say she needs to be '' '' put in her place '' '''#my hyper sk*rim character rambling. .. but seriously tho...#i think 2 this site its: traumatized character = 'sad wet cat'#intimidating woman = 'MAMA DOM'#and character with blown out ego = 'actually pathetic'#like i'll start swinging idc#m*raak is a good personification of NPD cause he doesn't wanna believeee there's someone better than him in his 'skill'#notice how he's Always throwing shit on U for no reason#he's so mad. lols#the entire DB DLC is about m*raak's NPD and how it consumed him. very artistic..#but n*loth i find to be extremely realistic even in the little things#how his NPD isn't an escape from anything but just pillars of his existence#+how his ego doesn't help w/ not caring about wat others think about him.. he neeeeds that validation to feel good 2#but not to survive. his Ego can carry him on it's own#i'll defend n*loth's mental illnesses with my life idrc abt m*raak's diagnosis tho just cause he annoys me from the gameplay LMFAO BYE#if i sound crazy when i post shid likethis it's cause you don't LOVE sk*rim like i do.........rubbing my temples
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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it is finished.
#eeee!!#been a long long long time since ive done a video-related project lol#definitely forgot like. all my shit but. whatever#excited and nervous#cause im pleased with it but of course i feel like it could be better#and im too lazy do anything fancy with it#gonna wait until the morning to post it though cause its late and i don’t want to deal with trying to export it
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there are 2 wolves inside me. one is over the whole watcher entertainment mess. the other is still hung up on really weird uncomfortable takes she saw in the fandom tag and remembered why she doesnt wanna participate in fandoms anymore
#IM SORRY i know my immediate friends/mutuals dont care but im just like. ahsdfksdh#i cant tell anyone not to be upset but some of it was like.#i think the parasocial relationships got too deep bc ur ghoul boys were ''unprblematic'' for so long and#when smth finally did happen it hurt a lil Too much and u ended up scapegoating steven anyway lol#also the vitriol against his food shows was SO WEIRD like i know we're all broke and not eating fancy shit#but its not that deep. its just dudes eating and/or making food#is it evil bc its not immediately accessible#visiting ghost hunting locations is kind of a travel luxury too but are u sending ryan and shane to the guillotine for it.
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tw abuse in the tags
#my dad decided that he was going to share his posts on threads where he trauma dumped shit with me and my sister#and it pisses me off so much that he can talk about all the trauma he’s gone through#and all the shitty things he’s gone through#and literally anything and everything that’s happened to him#but won’t acknowledge that he abused me my mom and my sister growing up#i got the worst of it all bc ofc i fucking did my sister was his favorite and i knew from a young age that she was#still is tbh#i’ve only been back in contact with my dad for a little over 5 years and since then there have been 3 separate occasions#where he’s acknowledged what he’s done to me and how it’s affected our relationship#the last one being last year where he actually apologized#but the first was in 2019 when we first started talking again and then again in 2021#and then last year in 2023#and i can’t talk about the shit he put me through bc he shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about it#and it pisses me tf off that he can do literally anything else to better himself#but the minute i want to even throw a passing fancy towards our past he freezes#and i feel like i have to change the subject bc lol dad’s uncomfortable!#i’ll admit i don’t talk about the shit he put me through willingly to anyone not even my therapist#but how the fuck are you going to sit there and trauma dump to the person YOU traumatized? and won’t talk about the trauma with?#fuck all the way off that’s fucking bullshit and we all know it
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What did you think about Behlül’s relationships with Bihter and Nihal? Did he love either of them? Did either of them love him?
I think he did actually love both of them, but in his own way. He seems to have a tendency to have a great big romance that he quickly burns out and rinse and repeat with the next person he fancies.
As to whether he was loved, I'd say yes by both, but also in a limited way. I think he's kind of like the high school crush of a girl from a very small town, where the girl wants to date someone mostly because she thinks it's exciting at that age. And so her crush toward the guy develops more out of her daily life having a very limited pool of potential boyfriends, than out of any wow moment of attraction to that guy in particular.
For Bihter, I think she would have equally fallen for a different person who was young, handsome and charming, and consistently close at hand to observe.
But I don't know if she'd have slept with anyone who was not so casual as Behlül. His cheerful lack of morals and friendly persistence surely helped a bit to remove some mental barriers in her mind. With someone less happy-go-lucky, she'd maybe just have had lovesickness and stayed at that as a 'noble' kind of compromise between cheating and withering without experiencing real love.
There is a word I can't quite translate, 'prepustiti se' (to let yourself go, to abandon yourself to a feeling/situation, can be have positive or negative connotations), which I feel works for both Bihter and Nihal's feelings to Behlül.
They were first pursued by him and they seem to have almost purposefully convinced themselves into loving him. Both were lonely and desperate in different ways.
Bihter was in an unhappy marriage, I don't think I need to elaborate too much as she herself describes it all in a self-aware way in the novel.
As to Nihal, she was frankly somewhat neglected by her family. Yes, she's otherwise "spoiled", but they made huge decisions to remove her brother, and her governess, and her kitchen buddies, and didn't even tell her until the very moment it had already happened! Extremely frustrating and scary for such an already isolated girl. She lived from day to day not knowing who she could lose next, no wonder she got all emo.
So when the situation came that everyone was suddenly eager to marry her to a guy - one she already knew and trusted and casually bantered with - I think half of the appeal would be a young girl's physical attraction to Behlül as a man, but the other half would be the idea of finally keeping someone for herself (because her family couldn't very well decide to whoosh away her husband on a whim, lol). I can see why she'd accept the situation.
#also a thought that is quite creepy and that I don't even quite agree with myself#but IF there wasn't such an age difference between her and Behlül#and IF he wasn't the kind of guy who'd openly find himself mistresses as soon as the honeymoon phase of love wore off#I can actually see that they'd be somewhat well-matched#as he seems to know how to make her see reason without being condescending when she's snappish and neurotic#and they both have a jokey and musical side and Nihal has a naturally bossy side that might rein in his flightiness#but the book relationship is manipulative and creepy since she's isolated + barely out of childhood + naive and he's so close to her family#aşk ı memnu#ask i memnu#on the other hand if Bihter wasn't already married#I can also see her and Behlül getting along well in a 'let's spend money together in fun and fancy ways'#and being the kind of couple who do grand love drama but in a recreative way lol#but again that's if he wasn't the kind of guy who'd cheat on her a lot#sorry I am just shitting all over Behlül in this post#but I think he's a funny and interesting twist on the dandy character type#just... not one suited for being 'saved' from his womanising way by either of the girls in the novel - or by anyone really
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people really look at stede and think he would get better mentally and be more compelling as a character/human being within universe if he was More Masculine are you Insane ?
#(LIGHTHEARTED)#that man liked to pick FLOWERS and was RIDICULED FOR THIS#I JUST THINK HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO RECLAIM THOSE INTERESTS AND THIS DEPTH OF HIMSELF & BE CELEBRATED FOR EM ! !#like. idk. sorry this is a vague catty post outta nowhere i justtt I DONT KNOWWWW i like it when hes frilly and foppy and feminine. awwgh.#what the hellll. what kinda fucked up mr. bonnet senior shit was that 'i hope he becomes like a REAL manly man' sentiment b4 s2 started :-/#särmäs sermons#stede cant be anything but himself and the himself that he is is the type of captain who has a mum-vibe to him and likes fancy fabrics#there's more someone wiser than me could say abt this matter but im not going to bother trying to#i'll enjoy fanworks of all sortsa spectrums in regards to his character dont get me wrong but ive just like. noticed. how much i prefer#him as a more feminine kind of guy. SHRUGS. is this me poking at a hornets nest lol i hope not#also. cuz anxiety eats my brain. i love you masculinity i love you queer masculinity i love you men. this isnt a favoritism issue for me#im just thinkin my thots <3#ofmd
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i think i need a new mattress because my back is in the TRENCHES but i don't know shit about shopping for them 🥲 time to learn
#rambles.#it could also be mixed with pms/period type shit but idk. because i ain't used to all that#but i still need a decent mattress. and one that ain't gonna break the bank LOL#i've literally had the same mattress my mom bought on craigslist or w/e several years ago#brought it with me when i moved out. couldn't even tell you how old it actually is#i've never been able to buy a mattress before. especially with all this new fancy shit they have now
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Omg, I'm drawing, like properly for once?
It's like not a sketchbook sketch?
Marker paper and all?
#I'm so happy right now#I'm watching vox machina and drawing Keyleth#I'll ink the shit out of that#Pls this needs to happen more often I don't want all those fancy ass supplies to sit on the shelf unused lol
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Mental health shit is kicking my ass but at least I have my silly guys
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#my birthday is in a few days btw wish me luck#I’m trying to be excited best I can but yknow#I’m hoping that my friends and family do a good job at distracting me from the horrors for all that#which I’m sure they will they do a great job at keeping me from losing my shit on days like that#we’re going to eat good food and play games and it’s going to be fun and I’ll be happy#just need to hold out and not freak out too much in the meantime lol#but yeah I’ve been considering tweaking a couple of the staliens antennae recently#hence the mason#but I’m not sure if I’ll commit#most of the cast has fairly distinct antennae from eachother with mason being the main problem child to me#if I was willing to draw more detailed antennae then I’d go absolutely ham with everyone’s antennae but I’m not so#I’m mostly thinking abt this because I drew odile as a stalien a few days ago and gave her some fancy antennae#in my minds eye her antennae are Huge and she uses the to help read carved languages#the actual main stalien cast have very normal not noteworthy antennae except for sorta beats but having two pairs isn’t even that uncommon#but admittedly I am half tempted to try giving one of them huge antennae simply because it’d be fun to draw#but none of them rly fit the bill for that except maybe butter but they already have long ass ears they don’t need both#I should rly go fill out everyone’s toyhouse bios at some point I did like two or three a few weeks ago then gave up#and I didn’t even do any of the staliens I think I just did aris and sier#I also need to fix their mini playlists I have on their profiles but that can wait#anyways I now need to do some fun 2 am cleaning I was supposed to do hours ago#I got distracted drawing
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