#and they both have a jokey and musical side and Nihal has a naturally bossy side that might rein in his flightiness

[magisterhego]

What did you think about Behlül’s relationships with Bihter and Nihal? Did he love either of them? Did either of them love him?

I think he did actually love both of them, but in his own way. He seems to have a tendency to have a great big romance that he quickly burns out and rinse and repeat with the next person he fancies.

As to whether he was loved, I'd say yes by both, but also in a limited way. I think he's kind of like the high school crush of a girl from a very small town, where the girl wants to date someone mostly because she thinks it's exciting at that age. And so her crush toward the guy develops more out of her daily life having a very limited pool of potential boyfriends, than out of any wow moment of attraction to that guy in particular.

For Bihter, I think she would have equally fallen for a different person who was young, handsome and charming, and consistently close at hand to observe.

But I don't know if she'd have slept with anyone who was not so casual as Behlül. His cheerful lack of morals and friendly persistence surely helped a bit to remove some mental barriers in her mind. With someone less happy-go-lucky, she'd maybe just have had lovesickness and stayed at that as a 'noble' kind of compromise between cheating and withering without experiencing real love.

There is a word I can't quite translate, 'prepustiti se' (to let yourself go, to abandon yourself to a feeling/situation, can be have positive or negative connotations), which I feel works for both Bihter and Nihal's feelings to Behlül.

They were first pursued by him and they seem to have almost purposefully convinced themselves into loving him. Both were lonely and desperate in different ways.

Bihter was in an unhappy marriage, I don't think I need to elaborate too much as she herself describes it all in a self-aware way in the novel.

As to Nihal, she was frankly somewhat neglected by her family. Yes, she's otherwise "spoiled", but they made huge decisions to remove her brother, and her governess, and her kitchen buddies, and didn't even tell her until the very moment it had already happened! Extremely frustrating and scary for such an already isolated girl. She lived from day to day not knowing who she could lose next, no wonder she got all emo.

So when the situation came that everyone was suddenly eager to marry her to a guy - one she already knew and trusted and casually bantered with - I think half of the appeal would be a young girl's physical attraction to Behlül as a man, but the other half would be the idea of finally keeping someone for herself (because her family couldn't very well decide to whoosh away her husband on a whim, lol). I can see why she'd accept the situation.