#all depends on how well he has reintegrated on his family

[eerna]

I get confused when people hate Taryn but love Madoc because, despite all of their actions, Madoc is a toxic paternal figure where you can't put it's fiction while you hate Taryn because of irl problems. I don't know if what I'm going to say would upset you, but I always felt Jude and Taryn's relationship with Madoc started more like Stockholm syndrome, and I'm talking more from irl experience with a non-biological toxic parental figure. It's definitely a complex one, but realistically speaking, it's kind of Stockholm syndrome because Jude and Taryn started to become dependent on him to a degree because he was the only solid thing (solid in a way) they could cling to for protection since they were kids. They were in faerie; they were having only each other for comfort, but they were still kids who needed parental love and were seeking affection, so accepting madoc-twisted kind of love was a result of the situation but also because of how sometimes he would actually act like a parent (he loves them, I'm not doubting that), which for someone in the disparate situation they were having, him acting like that gives a hard time hating him because yeah, he did horrible things, but the way he acts makes him hard to hate as they should. It's the kind of love where you know it's twisted and you shouldn't feel it when you question yourself for it, but yet you desire that love because it's the only parental love you can get. You know it's wrong, yet you don't want to disappear.So hating Taryn because I would NEVER DO THAT TO MY SISTER and not seeing her as a character because of irl problems is weird because I think we all know one bully who acted all mighty, or we know or saw stories about toxic parents. All aside, I love all of Madoc's family, including him, and the fact I could see myself when Jude talks about Madoc and their relationship shows how well HB writes, and she has all of my respect for it.

Oh just to be clear: I love Madoc to the moon and back, but I absolutely consider him a toxic father who doesn't have a healthy relationship with ANYONE in his life! Your interpretation of their relationship is exactly how I see it, too.

And you are so right that it is a prime example of misogyny in Taryn's fandom interpretation! Madoc legit tried to kill Jude, he lied to her and twisted her feelings for his own gain and led a coup against her (even turning Taryn against her for a couple days). But Taryn betrayed her over a guy, and romantic relationships with men are the most sacred thing in the world, so clearly she is the worse person in the equation. People like to say that Madoc was punished for his actions and Taryn wasn't, but even if we ignore he was fully reintegrated into the family in TPT, Jude admits his punishment was a slap on the wrist because she can't force herself to make her loved ones face proper consequences for betraying her. It is like. The entire point of the series. Jude forgiving people she loves despite all the bullshit they put her through and the fact they aren't very apologetic about it. The double standard of how the fandom views the toxic men in her life VS the one toxic woman is crazy to me

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

I wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts on the reality tv fic research you’re doing, if you had any thoughts or observations you wanted to share, be they fic-related or otherwise ����

So the reality TV fic is really the first chapter/prologue of a longer fic that covers Jamie's reintegration into the team and developing friendship with Sam in the first half of season 2, while also having some complicated feelings about Amsterdam and his time on Lust Conquers All as Sam and Jan rope him into their effort to get the player auction during at the charity gala changed to something less terrible. While I don't necessarily think Jamie's experience on LCA was itself traumatic, the structure of reality dating shows might poke at some sore spots in a way he might not consciously register, same as the auction did in season 1. 

Unhinged ramble on reality TV dating and how it might affect Jamie under the read more:

(My research was mainly focused on Love Island UK, the real-world equivalent of LCA; however, some of the rules, filming practices, ect. are based on industry norms that I don't know for 100% certain apply to this show) 

There are some aspects of the reality TV experience that Jamie would likely be better equipped to handle than most contestants — while the producers do go out and scout people and I gather that some (or possibly most) of them are social media "micro-influencers," one of the main things they tend to struggle with is not only the sudden rise to fame and the volume of criticism that comes with it, but the fact that it's very temporary fame and they have to reintegrate into regular life and a regular job afterwards. Jamie struggles with depression after leaving LCA, but he clearly didn't put the same stock in it as a career move as most contestants do — his depression is tied to his football career (or rather, his temporary lack thereof) and his dad; LCA was primarily a way to get away from James rather than something he was invested in for its own merits or that he likely expected to have much of an impact on his life in the long term.

He also has an advantage when it comes to contract negotiations. Reality TV contracts are extremely extensive and typically involve the contestants waiving the right to sue in the event of... basically any kind of harm (emotional/psychological distress, injury, illness, death, ect), as well as their right to privacy — many shows specify that they have hidden cameras and microphones throughout the entire house, including areas like bedrooms and even bathrooms, and that they can use, edit, ect. anything they record however they want, including frankenbiting, ie cutting together snippets of audio to form sentences that the contestants never actually said — and their contact with the outside world, as contestants aren't allowed to keep their phones or go on social media. They also often tie the contestants to the production company for several months afterwards, which may involve doing public appearances or even restricting activities related to the show (this is less relevant for something like LCA, but American Idol season 2 contracts didn't let contestants sing anywhere outside the show, even at like. private gatherings with friends and family).

I imagine Jamie's contract would include a lot of these same rules, but unlike most contestants, he has an agent (even if we know the agent kind of sucks) who may have gotten him better terms. That being said, based on the way his agent talks about him going on LCA in 2x02, there is a distinct possibility that he signed on as an impulse decision and actually didn't have anyone look over the contract, so really whether or not he had an advantage here depends on how pre-meditated his decision was at the time. Another area where he has an advantage is purely demographic: he's a white man, and reality dating shows have a massive problem with racism and sexism that affects casting, how the contestants are framed once they're on the show, and even voting behaviour. 

Prospective cast members undergo a very thorough vetting process that involves a background check, medical exam, psychological evaluation, and interviews with basically everyone they've ever talked to, it seems like. How effective the psych eval is in rooting out people who are likely to be negatively affected by the show is debatable — I read an interview with a former contestant on the Bachelor who said she suspects she was chosen because she was emotionally fragile after a recent breakup with her fiancé — and they seem to be more geared towards keeping people off the show who are likely to be physically violent with the other contestants. Jamie fits the profile of someone who might be chosen pretty well, actually: he's combative and has a big enough personality to be involved in drama, but he doesn't actually start physical fights. 

Once contestants arrive, their belongings are searched for any contraband alcohol or drugs, as well as clothes with logos from non-sponsor brands. Shows generally don't allow them to keep their phones or other electronics — Love Island contestants have cellphones that they sometimes use to take pictures and where they instructions via text, but these don't appear to be their own personal phones. (Sometimes contestants appear to be posting on social media during the season, but it's actually someone else running their account.) They're also not allowed to leave the villa except on scheduled dates (some shows do allow the contestants out, but they have to ask permission first). This is... kind of creepy, honestly, but I suspect that with James being on Jamie's case the way he was after he came back to Manchester, the lack of contact with the outside world may have been part of what appealed to him.

Life in the villa is very regimented: two producers live there with them and the contestants are told when to eat and when to sleep. This is another area that Jamie might cope with better than the average contestant, since he'd be used to working with nutritionists and generally having many more aspects of his life than the general person planned out, and the dietary restrictions are likely less strict. While conversations aren't scripted, contestants are often told to go to a specific location and to have a conversation with a specific person about a specific topic, which produces the slightly odd effect that, especially in the first couple of episodes, they spent all their time analyzing their relationships/prospective relationships with people they just met and barely know. I suspect this might be part of why it's hard to build sustainable romantic relationships in this environment — obviously communicating about what everyone wants in a relationship is good, but it doesn't allow for the regular conversations that make up most of the process of getting to know and like another person.

Which brings us to: kayfabe. Kayfabe is a wrestling term which refers to the implicit agreement between wrestlers and their fans to act as though the staged performances are authentic. Part of what I suspected tripped Jamie up during his stint on LCA and got him kicked off is that he's... not great at this part. He'd probably have some form of PR training and he has experience doing brand deals, but ultimately footballers don't have to pretend they're doing anything other than trying to win. Reality dating contestants can't say that they're there to build their brand or win the cash prize; the only motivation they can publicly acknowledge (not contractually, just in terms of coming off well to the audience) is finding love, and I suspect that Jamie was maybe a bit more obvious than he should have been about the fact that he approached it as a competition more than as an opportunity to find a relationship, which I don't think he was actually interested in at that point (or at any point, for the aro Jamie truthers among us).

There's also a bit of a tension between the producers' putative goal of capturing authentic reactions and creating certain storylines. The result is that they try to elicit certain reactions during the talking head interviews without stating outright what they want the contestant to say, and I suspect Jamie and the producers would find each other frustrating to deal with given his blunt approach to social interaction and difficulty with subtext and other forms of indirect communication. Similarly, interactions between the contestants — particularly the contestants of opposite genders — are governed by a set of extremely heteronormative social norms in which the contestants reaffirm their relationships through by, for instance, acting jealous or worried when their current partner is talking to another person as a sign that they're serious about the relationship. In addition to just generally not being a sexist dick even in his prick era, he is, again, just not that great with subtext. Ultimately, I think Jamie attracts the public's ire because he's too obvious about the fact that he's approaching LCA as a game to be won — while viewers are generally aware that reality TV is constructed, the contestants acknowledging that damages their popularity.

And now onto the potentially triggering stuff. First up: the alcohol. Most reality dating shows involve a lot of drinking, although instances of light drinking (eg sipping on champaign, drinking beer on dates) are generally more common than heavy drinking like taking shots or the contestants being shown to be very drunk, though it does happen. Some shows have an open bar, while others control the consumption of alcohol more closely and only give the contestants one bottle at a time. Contestants on Love Island are often shown drinking (usually champaign, or at least something in champaign flutes) from what appears to be an open bar, but I'm not sure which approach they actually use. I've seen some former contestants (on The Bachelor, not Love Island) attribute the frequency with which everyone drinks to the fact that they don't really have anything to do besides interact with the other contestants, get involved in drama, and drink — they don't have personal electronics, obviously, but they also aren't allowed to bring books or other forms of entertainment. Jamie does drink in canon and he goes out clubbing with his teammates, but the consistency with which everyone is drinking and the potential pressure to drink more himself as a result might make it feel a bit more fraught, particularly if part of the reason he doesn't remember losing his virginity in Amsterdam is because James forced him to drink.

Second: consent in reality dating shows is... weird. Once they sign the contract and enter the villa, the contestants pushed — though not technically legally required — to engage in various forms of intimacy which in any other situation would be considered pretty clear violations of their consent. Couples are formed unilaterally: in the season of Love Island that I watched (season 8), the initial couples were chosen by the voting public, and couples are re-formed in ceremonies in which, for instance, a newly arrived man choses between the two single women and the one who isn't chosen is sent home (or vice versa). In essence, only one member of the couple (or neither, in the case of public voting) actually has a say in whether they want to be with the other person. These couples then sleep in the same bed (in a room they share with all the other contestants), and the challenges similarly often involve one contestant choosing another to kiss, offer a lap dance, demonstrate their favourite sexual position, or perform other forms of intimacy (these examples are all from the first challenge of the first episode of season 8). In essence, while the contestants could technically refuse, they probably also wouldn't be on the show for long, and the whole thing is very much built on the presumption of consent to these more "mild" forms of intimacy. 

Other Things: 

Part way through, the men are sent to a different villa where they meet a new set of women, while the women stay at the original villa and meet a new set of men. I imagine the Jamie cheating on Amy with Denise in a hot tub incident probably occurred during something like this. 

For some reason the announcer always calls them "boys" and "girls." He does it for both genders so at least it's not sexist, but I still don't like it. 

If you want to read more about consent in reality TV dating, I found this chapter very interesting: Sreyashi Mukherjee and Dacia Pajé, "'You Can't Force Someone to Want You': Investigating Consent, Tokenism, and Play in Reality Dating Shows," in The Forgotten Victims of Sexual Violence in Film, Television and New Media: Turning to the Margins, ed. Stephanie Patrick and Mythili Rajiva (Palgrave Macmillan) [tried to attach the pdf but I got it through institutional access from my university and it won't let me 😞)

[codenamesazanka]

do you think shigaraki would be fine with going to prison? what about spinner? dabi?

Feel like that depends on whether the Heroes have broken Shigaraki's will enough/convince him he's remorseful enough to obediently serve a sentence/have him agree he deserves to be locked up as penance. That even solves the restraints issue - Shigaraki willingly agrees to not use his quirk to break out of prison, because he considers staying in jail to be rehabilitation/just punishment.

Like, saving him means stopping him, having him let go of destruction, and restoring his hope in the world, right? And that last part probably means he will want to reintegrate into society and abide by its rules. Trust in Heroes and listen to them/the governance they uphold. And that will most likely mean serving a prison sentence, so that he'll have paid for his crimes enough that he can rejoin society as a normal and proper citizen after getting out, whenever that will be.

So how Shigaraki will be saved - how convincing Deku will be in saving his heart - will influence how fine he is with going to prison, I think.

However, in general, I don't think Shigaraki is fine going to prison. Would anyone? Definitely not the way he is now.

If he suddenly gets stopped now, he'll be more like Toga - he's feeling better, but he'd still rather have the new, freer world that rises from the ashes of the old one. He's not going to sit and wait on death row*. He's going to skidaddle.

As for Dabi and Spinner... I don't think they would be fine going to prison either? And if they go because they're incapacitated and captured, that's not really a choice of being 'fine' with it.

Spinner hasn't been saved. Dabi is back with his family, which is the first step of a long journey to true salvation. Neither of them - nor Toga (nor Compress) - are remorseful about what they've done and wants to go to jail as penance. Toga explicitly rejects this.

They'd just be getting captured and going to prison.

Whether they try to break out is the question. If they failed to break out, then whether they eventually make peace with it and serve out their sentence because they lost the war, the world moved on, and they're here in the future their opponent created, so they might as well deal, is the question.

(* i know there's the idea that he won't get the death penalty or a life sentence, maybe he'll serve only a few years then he'll get bailed out by Deku or All Might due to their influence or an generous undue influence plea, or have to work as a pro-hero in exchange - but that's literally favoritism/making an exception for him/not following the new system they profess to have faith in??? "Hey, this guy has done more damage than any other villain, BUT the No. 1 Hero thinks he's a swell guy, All Might calls him nephew and hired the best lawyer that exists to argue that he was totally manipulated into everything, and he'll be doing community service in the highly-coveted and well-regarded career of pro-heroics, so let's give him a short sentence. Every other villain can just stay in prison until whenever because no one cares enough about them to intervene so greatly. We have a fair and impartial justice system."

What about Gentle, you might ask? Well, Gentle's crime was that he tried to break into UA to make a youtube video. Then he partly redeemed himself in the eyes of the law by stopping a prison break during a national emergency. Compare that to Shigaraki... not exactly the same level of bad.)

Thanks for the ask!

[autisticandroids]

like if you watch the widower arc, which is the majority of salmondean's interactions with jack in s13. the way it comes off is that they are both functionally treating him as a temporary presence in their lives. this is, first and foremost, a thing with a doylist explanation: jack is a change in status quo and those don't usually stick on spn, frankly idk of the writers were sure if they were going to keep him around.

but in-text, this makes it read like both winchesters feel he is a temporary presence in their lives. dean is obviously explicit about this: he thinks jack will "go bad" and become an enemy. but sam seems to treat him as like... a case. a thing of the week. a down on his luck young adult with a supernatural problem (his powers) that he needs sam's help with solving. and once that's all squared away he'll go back to his parents and reintegrate into normal society.

that also inflects how sam seems to interface with how-dean-treats-jack. sam knows that it's bad, but he primarily treats it as though him and dean are a unit, so it's something he has to make up for. as though he and dean had gone to a restaurant and dean had been rude and left a shitty tip, so sam is apologizing and re-tipping the server after. he doesn't seem concerned about the *impact* dean might have on jack so much as the fact that dean's *behavior* is bad. which would make sense if he thinks of jack as like. a young adult who he's assisting, rather than a child in need of parenting.

this also isn't necessarily an indictment of sam's character. salmondean were not even considering acting as parental figures to jack until he was literally standing in front of them, he got basically dropped into their laps. combine that with the fact that he looks and talks like a young adult, and also the fact that salmondean regularly end up caring for children and young adults in a temporary manner as part of cases (my favoritest example for sam is marin 7x17, but you can see this in 6x02, in 1x18, in 10x09, in 8x18.... all sorts of places), and also also the fact that sam is frequently in the position of trying to defend some supernatural creature who hasn't done anything yet from dean's pre-emptive strikes, and sam's reaction makes emotional sense. he's behaving in a way that's been right in situations that he's been in in the past, situations which felt quite similar to the one he's in now.

but the situation with jack is not actually similar, from jack's point of view, because jack is, first of all, a person who has only been alive for a few weeks - he doesn't map neatly onto the concept of a human toddler, but he also doesn't map neatly onto the concept of a human young adult, and the fact that he is literally currently having his literal first ever life experiences matters a lot. additionally, he's completely dependent on sam and dean in a way these other characters never are. he has no normal family, no broader society to integrate back into.

so treating him as a houseguest who needs help isn't actually all that, well, helpful. and it means sam fails to give him what he would actually need, which is, you know, parenting. not to mention the whole interdimensional can opener thing probably wasn't exactly good for jack, though of course i don't think that was sam's sole motivation in the way that dean says (and jack likely believes).

in contrast, cas immediately treats him as someone he, cas, has a long term, permanent relationship with. they interact in an extremely familiar manner and cas seems to be concerned about his long term development, feel responsible for him, and to, i guess, think about jack while he's not in the room/while jack is not in active danger from dean.

but at the same time, cas and jack only actually spend a few days together, in 13x06. it's not really enough to build a relationship, though of course you can argue that the basis for one is already there because of season twelve.

but then he ends up imprisoned with mary in 13x14, and she instantly takes on a parental/responsible role.

i have some complex feelings on this, for doylist reasons - it's a part of the sexist way mary is treated in season thirteen.

i really liked the mary stuff in season twelve, the sort of campy self-conscious critiparody of supernatural that mary was - she was emotionally distant and closed off, she fucked ketch and then didn't stay to cuddle in the morning, she knelt on the floor in man(pain)ly rage, etc. i ate that shit up. i often find the "just one of the guys" action girl character to be it's own sort of misogynistic, but mary was a little different. first of all she was an older woman, and not framed as consumable eye candy like so many women in that role. second of all, she felt like a more genuine attempt at the form, for a lot of reasons, like the fact that it actually damaged her relationships with the men in her life - the main people we the audience are supposed to care about. third of all i liked the way it was a metacommentary on the show itself.

but in season thirteen, all that goes away. she spends the whole season as a damsel in distress, which is like... on its own, it's whatever. everybody gets damselfied on spn all the time. but she basically doesn't get to do anything for the whole season. and then she's also like, placed in the role of the emotional one, getting more visibly weepy over sam's temporary death, constantly being in the role of being afraid and unsure what to do like when au bobby threatens to kick jack out of the camp, and being in the role of the mother figure - which is why she acts like a parent to jack. she's just mom-ified, the way jody often is, and that element has the incidental side effect of her being one of the few characters to treat jack in the way he should be treated - as a child in need of parenting and care. two wrongs making a right.

and then at the end of season thirteen, jack is pulled away by lucifer - and why shouldn't he be? sam and dean try to stop him, but they're not meaningfully parental figures to him. jack does want dean's approval (because of dean's mistreatment), but this is also complicated by that mistreatment - a story of the world in which dean is just an asshole who shouldn't have acted that way would obviously appeal to jack. sam isn't even in that category, he's just a guy who halfheartedly tried to stop the worst of it. cas also tries to stop him, but they've only actually spend two days together, they barely even know each other. no wonder jack wants to go away with lucifer! interestingly, if mary had tried to keep jack from listening to lucifer, i think that might have actually worked.

then, of course, it turns out lucifer is a bastard. this is, you know, good in the short term because jack shouldn't listen to that guy. but it's also probably bad in the sense that the first person who told jack "hey maybe you should question your parents/dean specifically" turned out to be a dude who wanted all jack's friends dead.

then in season fourteen the dynamics shift. sam doesn't seem super interested in jack in season fourteen because he's just, well, busy being the leader of the apocalypse world hunters, a responsibility he enjoys and finds fulfilling.

cas takes on the parental role you'd expect from tombstone, though only occasionally do we actually see it onscreen because they hate paying misha and alcal at the same time. but if you look at, say, byzantium, nihilism, and ouroboros, cas is being parental there. also, cas is implied to be actually present in jack's life because s14 is the first season where he seems to actually live in the bunker.

mary is once again absent from most episodes in a way that implies that she's just not a part of our protagonists' lives as much, so she's not really a parent to jack anymore - at least, not until game night and absence, lol.

and dean... well, unfortunately, dean is definitely without question jack's parental figure in season fourteen. because jack wants his approval and demands his attention. so dean plays dad because that's what jack asks him to do. and then also the other thing is that dean accepts jack as nebulously part of The Family in season fourteen, and since dean is The Patriarch, that kind of puts him in a more automatically parental role than the others.

so basically like. in season 13, jack's main parents are mary and then cas as a distant second. in season 14, they're cas and dean. sam is not that guy's dad.

upon rewatch of s13/14 i have decided to be a hater about sam and jack. that guy is not jack's dad

[thosefinelines]

I love the movie Ready or Not and I always wonder like, what if Grace hadn't gotten 'Hide & Seek' on her wedding night. When Alex finally told her the truth, would she have just been okay with it? I don't think so because the movie establishes her as someone normal and good, but I do wonder since she wouldn't have been introduced to the family ritual in such a gruesome way that she couldn't push it aside. I feel like the likeliest scenario would be that she wouldn't believe him. In that scenario, I wouldn't be surprised if Grace ended up closer to Alex's family than Alex himself. Some interesting things could be done there considering Alex was framed as Le Bail's favourite and the best Le Domas child. But anyway, she wouldn't believe him until down the line when she herself has to participate in this ritual and realizes 'oh shit' and by then I have to wonder if she'd be corrupted enough by the family's riches and her relationship with them to be reluctantly accepting of that or if she'd stay herself enough to revolt and protect the poor girl (which would make a very cool movie let's be real).

The other scenario would be that Alex just straight up never tells her and forces the family to keep the secret too and in that case it'd be like. Bruh. How long were you hoping to keep that secret and how would Daniel have felt about it and what remnants of the secrets would have fallen through the cracks and I do think that if this were the case and there was a hypothetical night that Grace would have to kill an in law that she would have protected the girl (because it would've been even more of a shock than in canon)

[not-poignant]

pia pia! ive finally sat down and binged UtB and!! i am!! obsessed!!! literally been rotisserie chicken rotating the concept in my head for a full day now - i was hoping youd be willing to expand a bit more on the worldbuilding of hillview/facilities in this au? what exactly is the end goal of these centers and how do they gen go about achieving that, understanding that hv does things diff than most (? presumably) ? thank you for putting out yet another story to live in my head, rent free <3

Hi anon!

Some of this stuff has been answered in the story already, so I'm going to pull some quotes so it might look a bit clearer when put together.

From chapter 1:

Rehabilitation centres only existed for omegas, organisations run by alphas to retrain omegas to be the perfect, subservient husbands or the best children to present at Omega Confirmations. Rehabilitation centres were generally only used by affluent families or spouses because they were expensive, because no one bothered investing in retraining omegas from the lower classes unless they were acquired by an affluent alpha in the first place. The nurse made it sound like Efnisien was going to be paired with a nice, sweet guy, but Efnisien knew Kadek was an alpha, and being ‘paired’ with him meant being fucked and tortured into behaving himself.

From chapter 4 (Dr Gary's POV):

He cared about the reputation of his facility, and he cared that he was introducing a new model of omega rehabilitation and companionship that was highly respected, but he didn’t care about individual omegas much beyond knowing Hillview had a good success rate, and positive reviews from the omegas themselves.

And:

You’ve dedicated yourself to helping reintegrate omegas into society.

And from Crielle:

‘Do you know? He doesn’t even have a birth certificate,’ Crielle said softly, and then she laughed again. ‘No one would ever know, either way, no matter what you decide to do with him. You have all that land spare, after all, I’m sure it’s something centres have to do on occasion. We might consider taking him back if you can make him a presentable omega in high society, but if you’re not confident, do whatever it is you must. With the exception of wasting any more of my valuable time with these pointless questions. Have a lovely evening, Dr Konowalous.’

From chapter 5:

‘If you try and fuck me, I’ll kill you,’ Efnisien said, steeling himself to scowl at Dr Gary. ‘I’ll kill you. I’ll kill everyone here.’ Dr Gary’s expression was faintly perplexed, but Efnisien was sure Dr Gary was putting it on. ‘Don’t fucking pretend that’s not what you do to omegas,’ Efnisien snarled. ‘Of course it’s necessary to help omegas through heats,’ Dr Gary said as though he couldn’t be less interested in the subject. ‘It assists bonding. But there’s no point in doing it now. I can’t see how it’s going to be functional or useful at this juncture.’ ‘I know you think you’re being clever, trying to use this whole bait-and-switch thing to get me dependent on you, before breaking me, but it’s not going to work.’

From chapter 7:

All omegas received an internal exam ideally before their first heat. Testing the health of the lare glands was important, and one of the ways they could be sure an omega had developed well and was biologically ready for heats. But the internal exam was put off until the omega at least had some kind of bond with their alpha. Sometimes it took months before it was performed, and in the case of Alois Flitmouse, it had taken almost half a year and two half-completed traumatic heats before he’d even allow one under sedation. Internal exams were invasive. In almost every other rehabilitation centre, they were performed as early as possible, and omegas were restrained and sedated or paralysed, but Hillview had never operated this way. They avoided restraints wherever possible, and barely had the facilities to isolate omegas. The whole architectural structure of the facility was designed to be homely, which was starkly apparent when they realised they had almost nowhere to safely put Efnisien after he'd attacked Kadek. And now they’d have to operate more like one of the barbaric facilities where the internal exams were done immediately. They couldn’t sedate him safely to make him unconscious during the actual procedure, but Gary didn’t think they could afford to wait, either.

From chapter 9:

‘So you can’t go home, and you can’t leave under your own steam,’ Anton said. ‘Why don’t you at least stay until you’re stabilised? It’ll be easier to negotiate then, and maybe your family will be open to taking you back. I know I make it sound like a question, but the fact is, that is your only option. It’s not what you want, which sucks, and I’m going to talk to Dr Gary about some stuff after all of this, because he’s shit at being a companion, isn’t he? But aside from that, you have to come back with me, we have to go back. At some point. Maybe in another few minutes.’ ‘So you’re the fuckhead who manipulates people but in a nice tone of voice,’ Efnisien said dully. ‘You still rape omegas.’ Anton stared up at the canopy for a long time. ‘If you weren’t so dangerous, I’d get you to talk to Flitmouse. But I don’t think he’d like you very much anyway. And, honestly, with how some of the rehab facilities run, what can I say? It happens. Omegas get raped.’ ‘Here too. Just because you brainwash them into thinking it’s what they want, or their heats take their ability to know their minds away, doesn’t mean you don’t rape them. You get paid to do that. Paid. I hope one of them kills you in your sleep. But it’s not like an omega to do that, is it? So maybe I have to.’

From chapter 10:

‘You medically raped him within 24 hours and you’re telling me you don’t need a supervisor? Do you remember any of the protocols you wrote up for us? For this facility? What about the shit that you’ve toured around the world, to all these different conferences? All these protocols you recommend for ground-breaking omega rehab centres? You remember any of that?’ ‘Anton,’ Gary said darkly, and he expected Anton to back down, instead Anton planted his feet and his posture stiffened. ‘You need a supervisor,’ Anton said, his eyes flashing. ‘And if it can’t be Temsen, and it’s not Augus, then it might as well be me. Because you need to report to someone. You’re not a manager, right now, Dr Gary. You’re a companion. Like it or not, that’s what you are! You have a basic but challenging job right now, which is to make a scared omega feel safe and validated. And instead you keep doing the opposite! Over and over again. Like, tell me I’m lying, did you tell him he’d be raped to death in a prison?’

Okay I'm going to stop there because this post got long.

So! From all of this: Omega rehabilitation centres are places where omegas are sent by affluent people essentially to be 'broken' and made compliant by being forced to bond with an alpha (including rape), mate with them, create a sense of dependence, and essentially trained into a more compliant version of themselves that is more submissive to the wishes of the people around them.

And that Hillview differs by offering a new type of rehabilitation that still requires bonding with alphas (as well as removing them from abusive situations), but is generally more patient on the mating front, and has good reviews from omegas so far and has a good success rate (i.e. pleased clients - husbands/families that sent the omega there in the first place).

I hope that helps. :D

We can also make some assumptions so far re: Hillview. They have caterers and cooks on site and Gary has been concerned with getting Efnisien not just food, but tasty food - indicating they're a facility that isn't into starving omegas or feeding them poor quality food. They let bonding happen over a period of time instead of rushing into rape so they care a bit more about consent than the average rehab centre.

Bonding obviously requires a lot of close contact, because when we've seen Anton and Augus, both have almost always by referring to the fact that their omega is worried and needs them and/or needs to be checked up on. And since it's rich families and spouses that send omegas to these facilities, 'graduating' an omega we can assume to mean is sending them either back to a spouse, family, or arranging a new partner/relationship for them.

Beyond that I don't know what you're looking for anon, I'm not like...going to write a complete curriculum on say 'retraining' because that's Dr Gary's job (mine is to just tell the story asldkfas), and it changes based on the omega anyway. :D But if there's anything else feel free to ask! I'm not going to go into too much detail though re: a structured teaching program say, because I want Efnisien (and therefore the reader) to find out as we do.

[guiltysecretpasttime]

Homecoming - 2

This is the continuation of this prompt.

Lin/Tenzin, pre-canon AU, 2 of 2, T, completed.

----

“Hello?” Lin’s yelling was paused when the phone rang.

Tenzin’s continued words of apologies and evasion of flying folders and papers were cut short when Lin had to answer (irritably) the ringing phone. He bent over to pick up the scattered things, while listening to the one-sided conversation he could hear.

“Nothing’s wrong here. Of course not – yes, he is here.” Lin rolled her eyes. “There is no domestic disturbance at my address, I don’t know where that report even came from… Well, if they want to arrest someone, why don’t they arrest him?” She threw him an irritated look. “He is trespassing, isn’t he?”

At this, Tenzin frowned at her and dangled the house keys.

Who could she be talking to at this time of the night? Which police officer is responding to the call?

How can he be trespassing when he actually had keys? And as far as he knew, he lived here, didn’t he?

She snapped her fingers, asking him to hand over the keys.

Oh, damn he is screwed.

Lin leaned back at the headboard. “Okay, fine.” She placed a hand on her stomach. “I’m sure my blood pressure is fine… Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow… Love you too, Mom.”

Tenzin felt his stomach turn to lead.

If Lin reacted this way to him, Toph Beifong could do much worse.

And all because – at least from what he gathered from Lin’s invectives earlier– Lin’s letter informing him of her pregnancy did not reach him.

When the earthbender had suitably calmed down, Tenzin cautiously approached the bed with her paperwork. She was eying him with distrust.

At least she had stopped shouting or throwing things – so I count that as a win.

To his surprise, Lin offered the phone to him.

“Tenzin!” Toph’s gruff voice greeted him. “I don’t care what your excuse is but for tonight, make sure she relaxes. She’s on bed rest –.”

“Bed rest!”

Toph continued speaking as though he did not just interrupt her. “So, make sure she takes it easy and does not overexert herself.” She sighed. “You know what I mean, Airhead. No bedroom activities for the two of you.”

---

After a relatively painful call with Toph (where he was alternately scolded, reminded, threatened and advised), the airbender finally addressed the earthbender who was sitting in bed, protectively cradling her pregnant stomach.

“So,” Tenzin rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re having a child.” He sat the edge of the bed cautiously.

“Are we?” Lin asked back in challenge. “As far I know, you seemed to have washed your hands off of us the moment you left to fulfill your airbending duties.”

“No – I would never –,” He reached out to hold her hand, tightening when her grasp went limp. “You – the both of you – are my priority. Please don’t doubt that.” He looked straight into her eyes, trying to convey the truth behind his words.

Only their breathing can be heard for the next few moments.

“You never replied – I thought – we thought – you were gone. Then the acolytes responded and said you were there… I thought… you didn’t want it. You didn’t want…” Lin cleared her throat. “You were so pleased about being able to finally go around the temples. Having a child – well – I wouldn’t put it past you to stay behind because of responsibility, even if you didn’t want…”

At that point, her tears fell. This was the side of Lin Beifong that only few managed to see – one that was more human than her public persona allowed her to be. He was one of the few who she allowed to know about her insecurities and her fears.

Both of them had been raised in the public eye and they learned early on that their actions will be dissected by the press. They learned to be guarded – but not with each other.

Her mother had tried to protect her as much as she could but Lin learned the truth anyway. That her father had abandoned only remained with her mother as long as he could only due to a sense of duty to the unborn child. That when the opportunity came for him to jump ship, he did so without a backward glance.

Tenzin knew this was what was going through her mind with their current predicament.

He knew that words at this point would not mean anything to her as he pulled her into an embrace, letting her tears drop on his robes.

Tenzin knew he would do his best to reassure her.

---

The next few days were spent getting up to speed with Lin’s pregnancy. He wanted to know it all – how were her check-ups, what is the gestational age, are there any food or drink that she is not allowed to eat, etc. After that first night, Lin became apprehensive about what Tenzin thinks of fatherhood; she did have several weeks to get used to it but Tenzin, apparently was learning about it just now.

It seemed like she need not have worried, however, as the man reveled in it.

Katara had laughed at that, fondly saying that Aang is the same for each of their children.

To be fair, Toph had snorted, he was like that for all of the children born within their circle of friends, remembering that Aang was over the moon when Toph started showing with Lin.

---

Tenzin did not think the rest of the pregnancy would be spent in peaceful waiting if the succeeding days were a precedent as to what to expect.

It had been embarrassing enough to have his mother extract a promise from him to refrain from intercourse (“Stop cringing, Tenzin. If you’re old enough to be a father, you’re old enough to use the clinical term.”) in the next few months due to Lin’s delicate condition.

It became worse when Lin’s mother dropped by to bring in paperwork from headquarters. The older metalbender could not resist but comment about flighty airbenders doing the cut-and-run. That definitely did not do well to assuage Lin’s doubts.

His own father would likewise come by almost daily, bringing all sorts of food for Lin. Lin would graciously thank him and accept the gifts but would often ask him that he did not need to bring anything over. The Avatar would wave her concern away and say he was bringing over materials that Tenzin would need to work on anyway. Lin subtly implied that he need not stay in Republic City and he could go back to Air Temple Island to do whatever he needs to do for the Air Nation. This made Tenzin all the more adamant to work remotely from the house.

It also seemed like both of the Avatar’s sons took on the same anticipation and excitement in welcoming a child as Tenzin discovered that Bumi had taken to sending a knitted piece to Republic City every few weeks or so. Never mind that there were only so many bibs or bonnets a baby could use.

Their family, however well-meaning, tended to barge into their life – always checking in, always dropping by, always present.

Lin, being the well-mannered lady that she was, took it all in stride. While she would have previously scowled at her mother’s narratives or kept a polite face at his mother’s coddling, Tenzin saw her have a genuine smile at her face at their visits.

It was only one afternoon that Tenzin realized why.

He thought that they were simply falling into a routine when he came back. However, it became apparent to him that he was the one who has not yet assimilated into the established routine. With a pang, he realized their family had done what he should have been doing in the first place in supporting Lin in her pregnancy.

---

It was not quite the same home he had left.

Being away for months made it challenging for the airbender to reintegrate himself but he did manage bit by bit.

---

Lin really disliked being on bedrest. She had never been one for idleness, but she saw the necessity in taking it easy. She was determined to bring the child up to term and Lin Beifong is not anything but determined.

Nonetheless, this did not keep her from occasionally complaining; she did not like being dependent on others after all.

“I’m sorry Lin – but healer’s orders.” Tenzin handed her a book she requested; she was put out when he did not let her get out of bed and she had to wait for him to get it for her.

She thanked him though still with a frown on her face.  

Tenzin settled himself beside her in bed as they were wont to do before bedtime, taking out his own book to read. “Mother said you’ll likely be removed from bed rest in a few weeks’ time. Your mother did not have to go on extended bed rest and managed to work at the station back then. So mother is hopeful for you.”

Lin sighed and leaned back, lightly flipping through the pages of her book. “Well, that’s my mother. Unfortunately for me, I inherited the body type of my grandmother.”

They knew how difficult it was for Poppy Beifong to carry a child to term. As much as Lao and she wanted another child as a sibling to Toph, it had not been successful.

She saw Tenzin pause, recognizing the moment he understood what was not being said.

In true (and expected) airbender fashion, he did not address it head on and simply turned to focus on fluffing her pillows.

“Well, if you’re going to stay in bed much longer, we’ll have to make sure it’s a comfortable stay, right?”

She merely tilted her head in agreement, thankful that he did not push the issue.

---

Lin did not know what to expect from Tenzin when he said they will make the extended bed rest comfortable.

He arrived home one day with a lot of paper bags.

She had thought Bumi was ridiculous in sending a lot of baby clothes, but this did not even compare. Lin found Tenzin guilty of a shopping spree – his were of a complement to Bumi’s bibs and bonnets in the form of onesies, mittens and booties.

No matter, she thought, as she lightly fingered the texture of one of the green onesies, it pleased her to see Tenzin excited about the child.

---

As the weeks passed, Lin was able to finally convince Tenzin that she would be fine at home during the day with the staff and that he need not curtail his own activities.

During the day, after all, the household staff that Toph hired for them to clean and cook was around and could easily assist Lin with her needs.

The airbender still spent most of his time at home, working and keeping her company. But at least, his company was no longer limited to her and their family. Hopefully, Lin thought, it would keep him from being bored and restless.

She was pleasantly surprised when he arrived home on that first day.

He had been listening to her when they talked about food she missed and likely craved for. She was thankful for the food that Aang brings over and the food the chef cooks, however, there is only so much she could take of healthy and bordering on bland food.

Tenzin had gone out of his way to the other side of the city to bring home her favorite steamed buns. Steamed meat buns, that is. None of the vegetarian mush he enjoyed himself.

---

It became their ritual – whenever Tenzin goes out, they were sure to have a dinner that consists of Lin’s favorite foods.

---

“You keep eating more of that and we’re calling our baby Bao.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Doesn’t Bao Beifong sound nice?”

A pillow hit Tenzin in the face.

---

“Thanks, kid. Excellent paperwork as per usual, loved your penmanship.”

Lin rolled her eyes at her mother’s odd humor. She took the folder her mother brought in exchange for the reports she had completed. Before her mother leaves, Lin usually makes sure she had scanned through quickly the paperwork so she could ask questions if she has clarifications.

“There was a meeting earlier at City Hall.” Toph often shared with her about her workday. “I suppose you were the catalyst for this.”

“What? I don’t even get to leave the house, never mind the bedroom,” Lin felt defensive, thinking that Toph was about to blame her for something. “How can I have caused it?” She continued to go through the paperwork.

Toph clicked her tongue. “They’ve selected an air acolyte as the representative to the Air Temples.”

That got her full attention. “But Tenzin’s the current representative.” She put down the folder on her lap and turned to her mother. “He did not mention he was quitting.”

“He was not quitting per se, he would be still part of the Air Nation’s council staff – just not the one who would need to frequently travel around the temples.”

---

She was floored.

She never asked that of him.

The airbender had been talking about air temples and all things air nomad from they were kids.

Giving up this particular role – this is huge.

And if it was because of her – them – she corrected, rubbing her stomach, it was significant.

---

He did not bring it up that night.

She thought he would have done so the first thing he got home.

But he did not.

---

She brought it up two nights later, unable to keep the curiosity out of her voice.

The why hung between them.

He simply smiled back at her, his hand joining hers as their baby kicked.

“I know my priorities.”

---

The next day, she hands him back his keys.

Then maybe, he feels hopeful as he tightens his fist around it, maybe this is what it really feels like the beginning of a true homecoming.

-----

Note: And that’s that. Thoughts around it? Thanks for reading :)

[missilestorms]

Ayy hello me again. Ok so the idea is uhh That happens to Bruno (yknow..the r word....god I can’t even type it lmao). I just think it would be absolutely devastating to his mental health and reintegration into the town. Like the house is rebuilt, he’s been getting out there and starting to do better, he still has bad times but he’s getting there, and then bam That happens and he’s set back so far. Idk if I could ever write it, but the idea just makes me so sad lol.

TW: Discussion of rape and writing about recovery.

Hey! It means a lot to me that you wanted to reach out to me about your idea. ^.^ At the end of the day, I'm just another dummy with an Ao3 account, and I'm not an expert, so take all of this with a grain of salt. There are definitely differing opinions on this subject and on writing this subject.

First things first: Take care of your own mental health! These kind of fics can be cathartic and depressing to write. A focus on recovery helps, but sometimes the fic's material is going to hit you hard. Take into account the length of your story and how much you really want to be thinking about the subject matter as well, and stop if it's too much - no story and no updates are worth pushing yourself into a place where writing is a net negative.

With that out of the way, I'll put forward a few potential things I'd think about if I was developing a fic like this with Bruno as the main character:

How intense do you want it to be? The more intense, even if the scene itself fades to black, the more recovery, generally. Pulling Bruno with everything else he's got going on back from that kind of a brink with a weaker support system at that time in his life, since he's been in the walls for 10 years, is a tougher assignment. That doesn't mean you shouldn't write it! Just things to keep in mind. It all depends on the format and length you're thinking of.

Recovery takes time, and work, and parts of it can continue for the rest of someone's life. I think people tend to want to give very happy endings when writing this stuff because the subject matter is so dark (I don't write tragedies either haha), but while giving that happy ending, it's good to keep in mind that you're dealing with a traumatized character, and trauma reverberates and usually has consequences past that final chapter. Recognizing that in your story, regardless of the ending, is a good thing to do.

Regardless of the gender of the rapist, I think it'd be good to figure out just how much of the negative opinions around male victims of rape you'd want to include in your story from the beginning - does the town have a certain view? What about the family?

Bruno's already got trauma. I'd definitely do some research around what that would entail and the overall effects a situation like this has - research really helped me in my own fic.

What would Bruno’s support system look like? Who will he lean on the most?

That's all my thoughts! :) I hope this helps a little.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I really enjoyed your book review of Sebastian Junger’s Homecoming. Perhaps enjoyment isn’t the right word because it brought home some hard truths. Your book review really helped me understand my older brother better when I think back on how he came home from the war in Afghanistan after serving with the Paras and had medals pinned up the yin yang. It was hard on everyone in the family, especially for him and his wife and young kids. He has found it hard going. Thanks for sharing your own thoughts as a combat veteran from that  war. Even if you’re a toff you don’t come across as a typical Oxbridge poncey Rupert! As you’re a classicist and historian how did ancient soldiers deal with PTSD? Did the Greeks and Roman soldiers even suffer from it like our fighting boys and girls do? Is PTSD just a modern thing? 

See previous post for Part 1. Part 2 of my answer here below....

But does it mean no Greek or Roman soldier ever suffered trauma or mental illness? Is there nothing we can’t learn from them? Of course not. Both the Greeks and Romans can teach us a lot about suffering.

Both cultures recognised the importance of integrating soldiers back into society that were they had tried to defend on the battlefield. And I think we can learn a lot from them in the regard.

If we are able to accept that PTSD is not a product of mechanised warfare and very likely did occur in ancient societies, then the question should be asked: how did ancient cultures deal with individuals who experienced trauma and suffering? We know that exposure to violence occurred. And we know, too, that homecoming was a common experience, in that some type of military service was a regular feature of the cursus honorum for those  in the senatorial class and was an avenue for the lower classes seeking advancement. Valour in combat was respected, and it was not unusual, when in pursuit of higher office or defending oneself at trial, to display one’s scars from battle as a physical witness of character.

Inscriptions inform us that many veterans pursued successful careers upon their return, becoming leading men in their cities. We know that they feared war and respected it, we know that they used ritual to distinguish war from peace, but we do not know how these men fared emotionally and psychologically after long exposure to violence.

While many ancient cultures were able to recognise the significant changes in soldiers following a battle, the precise reasons as to what created these changes were elusive. A common explanation was that the occurrence of (what I describe as) PTSD was caused by the actions of malevolent ghosts or spirits of those who were killed in battle and now sought vengeance on their killer. While it is unlikely that a vengeful spirit explanation is correct, it does contain the insight that the sickness originated from an inward or unseeable wounding, and these invisible wounds could be just as deadly as any outward wound. 

Many ancient cultures sought to deal with and create specific rituals to heal the unseeable and drive off the ghosts who caused them. The central purpose of these often culturally unique rituals was to welcome the returning soldier back into society and allow for the release of trauma. The Romans directed the Vestal Virgins to bathe returning soldiers, purging them of the corruption of war.

While the plethora of writings describing PTSD-like signs in ancient veterans indicate that these rituals did not always work, given the sheer numbers of ancient soldiers who went into battle and through these rituals, it would seem likely that for many something about them did work. However, it might not have been the welcome back into society alone that worked.

What might have been even more important, and what is often overlooked, was that the reintegration process would begin in the aftermath of the battle when the survivors began to walk home. Given that ancient soldiers sometimes fought far from their homeland, when the war was over they had to the walk home. The speed of this return was dictated by the pace of the slowest pack animals and the slow pace, while frustrating, may well have given the soldiers much needed time to reflect upon what they had experienced, grieve for comrades lost and perhaps find solace in a shared group experience. The long march back culminated in a ritual cleansing and a return to home, as mentioned above.

One of the reasons this slow decompression might have aided the efficacy of the return rituals can be seen in its complete opposite in contemporary conflict, where the advent of improved transport has made it possible to move troops quickly and efficiently. Perhaps too quickly and too efficiently. While troops might be happy to be back at home far more quickly, there might be a lost opportunity for soldiers to properly process what they have seen and experienced within a like-minded group.

I believe that we must be cautious when we map the past too neatly upon our own experiences or, conversely, our own experiences too neatly upon the past. While there are similarities and continuities, the relationship between ancient and modern must be carefully parsed. All lovers of the classical past are familiar with how the study of the Greeks and Romans awakens profound and contradictory feelings of identification and alienation. With respect to combat trauma, the shock felt by a modern soldier upon seeing a corpse for the first time would have been incomprehensible to both the Greeks and the Romans, who were surrounded by death.

Likewise, modern technology – with its distant, impersonal, and terrifyingly effective weapons, its instantaneous communication between home front and front line, and the speed of return from combat – requires an adaptability and an ability to get one’s head around big spaces and multiple actors that would never have been demanded from a Roman legionary.

My own view is that our soldiers actually face more complicated psychological factors than did the Romans – including a populace that largely avoids the realities of war while still wishing to enjoy the profits of it.

In addition, as our understanding of what causes PTSD grows we may find a paradox: distance weapons, developed to provide overwhelming military superiority and to shield troops from the fear and horror of close combat, may in fact cause more trauma, whether owing to the shockwaves they send through the brain or to the sense of helplessness they engender.

Moreover psychologists believe that modern PTSD cases are the result of the loss of ‘ontological security’ – ‘an individual’s inability to reconcile their traumatic memories with their moral codes, self-concepts, beliefs about human nature and notions of cosmic justice through which they seek to impose what anthropologists call a sense of order and meaning on the world. The psychological conflict arising from trauma ensures that the trauma lives on as ‘a source of socially and psychologically maladaptive behaviour’. But - and here’s the crux of it - the definition of what is a traumatic memory is as variable as the sufferer is individual, and this is culturally dependent even in the most homogenous societies.

Where we can learn from the Greeks and Romans is how they dealt with homecoming and using religious spirituality to balm emotional wounds.

For the Greek warrior, Classical Greek culture, like that of Rome after them, practiced polytheism, the expression of which included confirmatory and transformatory rituals. Ritual purification with water occurred in Greek funeral rites, with indication that pollution associated itself suggest that the cleansing had anything to do with establishing proper relationship to the gods, but may have had a purely “practical” force.

A more important spiritual concept to the Greek soldier than that of pollution may have been that of the necessary separation between the warrior’s life and the domestic life. In ancient and classical Greece, city walls held a religious significance as the separation between the sacred and the profane, for inside the walls are the sanctuary and security of domestic peace, while outside the walls warfare and the domestic life from which the warriors of his tale are separated, evoking pathos in the listener; the Iliad’s action describes the soldierly activities and battles of the Greeks and Trojans, while Homer’s metaphors describe the everyday activities which the Greeks have left behind and with living relatives as well as physical location.

Some Classicists believe there is little evidence to suggest that the cleansing had anything to do with establishing proper relationship to the gods, however. Furthermore, a Greek male’s citizenship was based on his membership in his city’s fighting force, his τιμή, honour, was directly related to his performance in the line of duty, and “a purely predatory attitude toward the lives and possessions of one’s enemies was an essential part of archaic and classical Greek warfare. This attitude toward battle makes it unlikely that Greek soldiers would have felt any sense of pollution either from warfare or the soldier’s association with, or proximity to, death or blood; cleansing rites were likely observed for fallen comrades and camps, but may have had a purely “practical” force.

A more important spiritual concept to the Greek soldier than that of pollution may have been that of the necessary separation between the warrior’s life and the domestic life. In ancient and classical Greece, city walls held a religious significance as the separation between the sacred and the profane, for inside the walls are the sanctuary and security of domestic peace, while outside the walls exists the world in which warfare and strife takes place.

In the Iliad, Homer makes extensive use of metaphor to juxtapose the world of warfare and the domestic life from which the warriors of his tale are separated, evoking pathos in the listener; the Iliad’s action describes the soldierly activities and battles of the Greeks and Trojans, while Homer’s metaphors describe the everyday activities which the Greeks have left behind and been separated from for ten years, such as women sewing and farmers reaping.

The soldier may accumulate honour in battle, but he is acutely aware of what he is sacrificing, even if only temporarily, to gain that honour. Homer’s Odyssey and Aeschylus’ Agamemnon are explorations of difficulties the Greek warrior faced as he attempted to return to domestic life after long absence in war. The concept of such separation may have had a sacred significance akin to the idea of the separation of domestic and non-domestic spaces established by walls; it was at least culturally significant to the Greeks of Homer’s and Aeschylus’ times.

Though Greek soldiers may not have had purification rituals to cleanse themselves after battle, Shay proposes that warriors of certain Greek societies, at least, had a form of transformatory, religiously-significant ritual which served to reintegrate them into domestic society after long separation in mandatory military service and, for most, exposure to combat. He writes, “The performances of Athenian tragic theatre - which was a theatre of combat veterans, by combat veterans, and for combat veterans - offered cultural therapy, including purification...The ancient Athenians had a distinctive therapy of purification, healing, and reintegration of returning soldiers that was undertaken as a whole political community. Sacred theatre was one of its primary means of reintegrating the returning veteran into the social sphere as “citizen.”

Shay proposes that soldiers hearing or reciting the Iliad would also have experienced a similar sacred catharsis; thus, this might have been one reason for the works’ significance in Greek culture.

What of the warrior of Imperial Rome? What of homecoming and religion? Religion was likewise both a public and private affair during Imperial Rome.

Political leaders and military officials were also religious leaders, and the people considered the emperor god-like, if not a god, within one of Rome’s many public cults. Ritual practices were integral to both state and private religion. The Romans accepted that the safety and prosperity of their communities depended upon the gods, whose favour was won and held by correct performance of the full range of cult practices inherited from the past. Bargaining rituals, in which a specific ritual action was performed or promised in return for fulfillment of prayer, as well as confirmatory and transformatory rituals, were common throughout the Roman Empire’s many public and private religious cults.

Within this cultural context, Rome allowed her soldiers to practice in accordance with individual religious beliefs, and the army took part in public religious activities. Among many other state religious rituals, Roman armies underwent ritual purification (known as lustratio exercitus, translating literally as ‘the purification of the army’), sometimes before battle, sometimes after (or sometimes both). This ritual may also have been performed on the Campus Martius (the sacred field dedicated to the Roman god of war, Mars) at the start and end of the military campaign season. 

The Roman practice of leading a victorious army under a triumphal arch may also have been a ritual purification; soldiers decorated themselves and their standards for both rituals with laurel, a plant commonly used for purification in other aspects of Roman culture.

Scholars disagree as to the purpose of the purification ritual and the sacred nature of an army’s triumph. Pritchett suggests that Roman generals conducted the lustratio exercitus in order “to remove superstitious dread” from the soldiers before battle. Some scholars argue that the purification ritual was not merely to remove dread before battle, but may have included the use of laurel to “cleanse the army of its bloodshed.” In common with the Greeks, Roman soldiers were unlikely to attach any moral disapprobation to the act of killing itself, or find war immoral. But the performance of the ritual after battle and at the close of the warrior’s season indicate the Romans may have felt that some incidental, religious pollution attached itself to the army or the soldier from nearness to death or blood. 

As some point out, Virgil in his imperial epic poem, The Aeneid, supports the idea that the imperial Romans saw some impurity associated with the individual’s presence in combat - Aeneas, having just taken part in battle, states that he must purify himself before approaching his household gods. Others sees the act of battle as a sacred undertaking; therefore, at the end of the campaign season, the soldiers ritually desacralised themselves and also cleansing themselves for their acts of violence in battle.

This idea further suggests a sacred distinction between the warrior and the non-warrior, as the warrior undertook a particular religious duty by fighting which the non-warrior did not. The ceremony performed at a Roman soldier’s retirement, when the emperor, or his proxy, would perform a ritual releasing the soldier from the religious oath he took upon joining the army, transitioning him back into private life, seems to suggest this as well.

These ritual purifications may also have marked the transition for the soldier from chaos back to order. Roman society placed high value on order and Rome’s citizens saw the empire as a civilizing force against the barbaric chaos of other peoples; for them, Roman conquest brought law public order, and structure to uncivilized barbarians as much as it did land and treasure to Rome.

The division between what was civilised (Rome) and was chaotic (barbarians, and thus anyone Rome was at war with) was sacred and sharp, and it was the Roman army which crossed that line to carry order to the peoples of the world. The presence of the ritual after battle and after the campaign season may mark a restorative or transitional moment in which the soldier’s association with chaos in battle against an uncivilized enemy ends and he returns to the orderly world of Roman civilisation.

While no absolute solution can be drawn from the experiences of ancient soldiers, there may be sufficient clues to warrant studying what benefits might be gained from delaying the return of groups of individuals from conflicts in a structured manner, thereby lessening the propensity for PTSD to occur. Particularly, if it were possible to enact rituals of our own - rituals which recognise and free returning soldiers from their traumas and assuage any sense of guilt and culpability - and reinforce that society values them for what they did, we may be better able to deal with PTSD.

Indeed whatever the causes or effects of PTSD suffered by returning service personnel, homecoming is crucial to integrating that person back into his/her family, community, and society. Earlier I talked about research done on British, European and American returning soldiers and the wide discrepancies between the European and the American experience of dealing with PTSD and reintegration.

I think one reason why British soldiers fared better than our American brethren is we had more effective mental health tools and mechanisms in place. I’m sure your brother as he was with the Parachute regiment would have gone through the TRiMS and TLD programme as a way for returning British soldiers to process their tour experience before being allowed back into the fold. It doesn’t work for everyone but certainly catches more in the supportive net who otherwise might have profound difficulties ‘coming home’.

For those who don’t know since 2007 the British armed services have been using the Trauma Risk Management program (TRiM) and the practice of soldiers spending time in a “third location decompression” (TLD) to help the process of homecoming as well as detect early warnings of PTSD. Both have been important tools for British soldiers to process their emotions and experiences.

The good thing about TRiM is that it’s a peer support system designed to assess trauma experienced by soldiers and encourage them to seek help if needed. TLD requires its participants to spend 36 hours in a location away from combat before returning home, often on the bases in Cyprus within the British Sovereign Territory there. Both of these mitigation measures focus on unit or regimental cohesiveness, which is has been well proven to be associated with lower levels of common mental disorders and PTSD. The aim of decompression is to ensure everyone gets a proper mental health briefing and that they are able to speak informally to each other without being judged. In the end it’s an invaluable opportunity to access the social support needed and begin the reintroduction to ‘normal life’.

Of course no system is perfect - look how sprawling the British veteran charities are for instance (Royal British Legion, Poppy Scotland, Combat Stress, Connect Assist, the Ministry of Defence, SSAFA etc) with over 2000 registered veteran charities which leads to confusion about services and support. No measure that is put in place can treat every single soldier but every little bit helps more than it hinders a soldier’s return ‘home’. 

In the end to wheel back to your question, the issue of whether the Romans suffered PTSD is probably unanswerable, because the problem itself exposes many of the challenges posed by the historical study of the past. I do know that the view that the Graeco-Roman world knew PTSD is fast becoming dogma because of popular culture and trendy lefty academic fads in English departments. I find that troubling speaking as both a combat veteran and as a Classicist.

In this debate of nature versus nurture it can hardly be reasonable to conclude that a legionary would have experienced trauma in the same way as a modern day combat veteran – surely his vastly different upbringing, cultural background and combat experience would have resulted in a culturally unique variant of response to that trauma? So to state that the legionary *must* have suffered PTSD seems simplistic and poorly evidenced. Saying a Greek or Roman soldier’s exposure to close combat and the fact that war is hell wherever and whenever it is fought is not enough. Some men would undoubtedly have experienced trauma induced psychological disorder but what that response was, its nature, causes, symptoms, is simply impossible to know, given the current paucity of relevant sources.

Perhaps when we understand PTSD better we’ll have an ability to interpret that thin evidence and put it into a cultural and medical frame of reference - despite wildly different causal factors and conditioning to meet the unique stressors in each of the ancient and modern soldier’s experience of warfare - that will get us close to a definitive answer. Indeed, as we learn more about concussive brain injuries and slowly unravel the various causes of PTSD, I suspect that we may find the evidence will point to a lower frequency of PTSD in the ancient world than that experienced by our troops in the present day. Until then, to be honest, it’s a game of grim conjecture.

If your brother needs more help please DM me and we can discuss ways in which we can help him find the right fit. You already know about the paras own charity for its veterans, Support Our Paras, so nothing I can add there that you don’t already know. My one recommendation would be to reach out to ex-Para and UK SFSG (special forces operator), Dave Radband. Radders is good egg and has used social media to become an outstanding mental health advocate for ex-British veterans.

Once again my apologies for the long answer in two parts but it’s an issue that’s very close to my heart when I think of my own fortunate homecoming from war and I remember those who didn’t come home...and those still fighting the war after they come home.

Thanks for your question.

[holicanth]

Hanging On Threads (2)

@shinoweek​ 2021 Prompt 3 - Sunset/Canon Divergence

Words: 3.7k

Genre: Angst. Drama. Shinohina. Tragedy

Warnings: -

Additional Tags: Shinohina, Kibahina, Naruhina, family issues, Konoha’s noble clans, nepotisme and collusion.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry y’all. I’ve been extra busy :( Here’s chapter 2 (?) of my Shino week series. I hope you have a great day :)

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

It has been 3 days since Shino disappeared from the Aburame compound.

It has also been 3 days since the Konoha elders re-welcomed the Aburames and reintegrated them into society.

Ever since, Shino has been staying at ROOT, hiding undercover while waiting for Danzo's orders.

And with that, Shino is handed the dreadful task of explaining every little detail to Torune.

 "I just can't understand your logic, Shino." He says, clenching his fists on the table. "You should know better than to just run away from home like that!" 

"What do you think you'll achieve with this?" Torune grits his teeth, "You cant escape this--there's no way Danzo will let you out anymore!"

 Guilt that has previously bubbled inside him was now gone. Shino felt close to nothing as he stays cooped in ROOT. No fear. No anxiety. He was obviously feeling full of himself, believing to have won his side of the bargain. As such, none of Torune's words were ringing bells inside his head. 

Shino tries to keep his facade well-put.

"How is Uncle Shibi taking the news?"

"I've sent some beetles to Father. I can tell he's doing well even without me. Nothing else will change in the household." 

"Not until," Shino's words come to a startled halt. "Until I finish my promise to Danzo."

His brother bangs the table in a display of panic that Shino has never seen. " You don't know what he'll do to you. Shino, you don't know anything..."

His words cut off abruptly. In a split second, Shino senses a tremble in Torune. A slight quiver of his lips. 

 Torune used to live with them, and had expressed massive gratefulness towards his uncle. Shino didn't realize at that time (he was but merely eight), that more than anything, Torune's sacrifice was addressed more towards Shibi. The boy would do anything to protect his uncle—you can see it in the way he devotes himself to his work.

A kindred sort of regret rose in Shino. To think that  he had so easily thrown away the ideal life that Torune had bestowed upon him—and voluntarily at that. 

But both of them know that there is no safer alternative. 

(It's an inevitable fate, they console themselves. It is a necessary sacrifice.)

 "I had to do it for our clan." Shino repeats the fact to his brother. "We were to be killed soon enough. And it would have been Father first."

Shino's eyes flit nervously as he spoke. 

"And who do you think would pull the trigger, Shino?"

Torune didn't ask why. Like he knew all of the details already. 

Shino glanced around the room, thinking. He already knows the answer. Rather, he's trying to figure out how to word it in a manner that doesn't...offend Torune.

 (Shino could list all the names of the ANBU members that have been in contact with particular individuals. Journalists, Governors, Clan heads, people of high posistions. Their agenda was blatant. Shino knows because their names have been whispered in contemplation throughout the Aburame compound.)

"The jonins," Shino says, in a hushed voice. "The jonins will work together with the ANBU. The Sarutobi clan will be extremely involved too."

There is a pattern Shino notices in Konoha's history. It's that the types of people who reign over the village are identical and identifiable amongst each other. A teacher to their student, A blood relative to their predecessor. Lesser clans would do anything to grab ahold of that social circle. 

Replacing an unliked noble clan would be one of such tasks.

 Torune listens keenly, in a hum that neither denies or confirms it. 

 "Not only that," He resumes, "There seems to be equal participation from other clans. Such as the Nara. You know they've been looking to steal our research on bugs."

"They're especially interested in yours, Torune."

He doesn't oblige. Torune was aware of this well before he came to ROOT, too. Fear and suspense were not things Torune had to be worried about. But today, he finds that he had to face it--the abject horror of seeing his little brother in a hostage situation. The pure fear of knowing how hopeless he is engulfs him. Was there nothing that Torune can do?

 (A shinobi must constantly opress their emotions, follow a strict set of rules that they decide among themselves, and avoid extraneous conflict.

This was the first lesson Danzo had stamped inside Torune's memories. 

To disconnect oneself from the act of murder—it was the essence of a shinobi.

Or so Torune thought.)

 "I was to be sent as well, Shino." Torune looks down as he breaks the ice. "They want us gone because of our power. Of our potential. They'll take our knowledge and use it to their own benefit. All the research, medicine, poisons and bugs."

 (The Aburames are notorious for being mysterious. All done in order to conceal oneself, to prevent oneself from having their secret techniques outed in public. Ensuring, that they stay formidable, underestimated,

 and strong.)

 "You heard Danzo say it. They think we're weird. Unsanitary. Off-putting. That our secrecy is a form of betrayal, even when we've been constantly obedient to Konoha."

"And will you die as well?" Shino asks cautiously, "After you've killed all of us, will they dispose of you too, Torune?"

A sorrow smile lit up Torune's face. There was, again, no answer. Shino knows—No, he had plenty of ideas already. Torune’s predisposition was already a valid enough reason for Konoha to justify his death. Killed or not, there are many ways to make a man break. Danzo would have his merry time trying out which one of those methods satisfy him best.

What Konoha was capable of bringing unto the Uchiha was just as likely to happen to the Aburames.

(This exchange ended on a heavy note. Nothing Shino says will add or subtract from the issue at hand. Just a hanging air of dread, looming over their clan's future. Both of them did what they had to preserve their clans. To protect those important to them.

 But this sense of kinship—to protect those that they love. Is it not what Konoha preaches to their young, too?

Or was it the reason that Konoha wants to tear apart the Aburame family ties?)

A knock on the wooden door brings an end to the brothers' conversation. The Yamanaka boy comes in, head held high. 

"Lord Danzo has requested for you, Shino Aburame. Come along, now." 

Shino leaves Torune in the room. Torune knows best that he should not interfere lest he wants to live a day beneath the soil.

 It can be said that ROOT was an illegal form of bodyguards, acting as Danzo's personal squadron. A blatant display of political corruption, despite Danzo’s "fancy" position as Konoha's elder. The facility was well maintained, and there was never a shortage of child soldiers sent there. The clan leaders know Danzo as a demanding figure. 

 The Yamanaka boy—Fuu  Yamanaka stops to knock at a set of tall doors. Shino stops to ponder whether he was related directly to Ino Yamanaka.

An oddly lit room opens up by Shino, displaying machines, scrolls, and different books that are perfectly arranged inside the giant walls of bookshelves. Danzo stood in the center, on a throne chair that he does not deserve.

"You may leave now, Fuu." He spoke in a low tone. 

 Something in Shino buzzes as he watch the Yamanaka eye him begrudgingly while he closes the door. The buzzing didn't stop after he went out.

(His bugs were reacting to something. A feeling that Shino doesn't want to name)

 "You. You're the son of Shibi Aburame, aren't you?" Danzo sneers, "So the Aburames have a dojutsu now, huh? What a nuisance. What, is your dojutsu like the Uchiha's? Prompted by deep emotional pain?"

 (Shino feels the buzzing again. His bugs were on guard, but for what?)

 "Does Shibi have this ability, too?"

"No." Shino spouts a half-lie. 

"And how did you get your hands on this? Are you saying that it just appeared out of nowhere?"

Danzo was gauging for answers. Shino was never good at communication himself, but he was naturally gifted in speaking conspicuously

"It was always in the Aburame blood. Just forgotten through time. Nothing new."

"And you vermins have been hiding this to yourselves, haven't you? Yet you wonder why Konoha has no trust in you."

"The other clans have aces up their sleeves, too. It's why they call it a Hidden Jutsu."

Shino didn't mean to sound snark. But Danzo himself might not have the mental intelligence to understand sarcasm, so Shino thinks it's okay. 

"So this dojutsu of yours—The Senrigan—tell me how this is more useful than the Byakugan."

 Shino bit his tongue before answering. Once more, he'll have to cherry-pick his words exceptionally well. 

"I transfer my sight to my bugs. Depending on how many bugs there are and how they're aligned, my sight can reach other countries."

"The Senrigan requires one to be perfectly still, but the bugs can collect all sounds, sights, and other details without having their chakra traced. Hiding my chakra under the bug's natural chakra will make them unnoticed by sensors"

 Danzo squints his eye, thinking. "Quite the useful spying tool, huh." 

"Still, we need to make sure you're telling the truth. Take off your glasses."

Shino was taken aback from the sudden request, 

 "Now."

 He does as he's told. The sunglasses are safely kept in his pockets. Shino's eyes were dark under the sunlight, and an even deeper shade of obsidian indoors.

"Let's have you demonstrate your Senrigan, shall we? I've sent Fuu to loiter around Konoha's busy streets. Locate him using the senrigan, and tell me every word he's speaking."

And without further ado, Shino created some hand seals, took a deep breath, and a swarm of kikaichu flew out of his body, travelling through the doors and crevices of the ROOT headquarters before dispersing overground. The emerald hue of Shino's eyes looked stunning in the dark. 

 Even from a distance, Danzo can sense an intricate, huge web of chakra dispersing from the boy's body, Undulating, stretching outwards, and going back and forth between Shino's body and his bugs. Then, as if on command, the chakra fell silent and Shino lets out a long exhale. He's successfully established the connection. 

 As Shino stills his senses to callibrate himself to the beetles, he orders them to trace any signs of the familiar Yamanaka chakra signature. He steadily reduces his chakra input. When a preferable balance is reached, Shino waits in silence. Until a bug notifies him of any significant clues

 (Go to the streets. He instructs them. Hover around in small swarms and don't terrify the people. 

A short pause. Don't bump into anyone that I know, He commands again.)

 Danzo watches as the Aburame in front of hin froze into a lotus pose. The stare in his eyes blank, but definitely buzzing with intel and chakra. There is much to be studied with this new forbidden jutsu.

 Shino is notified of a sighting near Konoha's marketplace. He checks in with the bug, and once their visions link he can tell that the person had the same chakra signature. 

"I've located him." Shino said. "He's using a mask and brown cloak, performing jutsus to the local children."

 "And what is he saying?" 

 Shino tries to concentrate as hard as he can. The hand seals that Fuu was using was something he didn't recognize. Apparently memorizing while the Senrigan is activated proved to be more dizzying than he thought.

"Tori, Uma, Ne, Inu, Ne, Tori, Hitsuji, Tatsu, I, Ushi..." Shino recites slowly, making sure that he isn't wrong. "This is a variant of the Water-style technique. He's forming water spouts from his fingers."

 That's absolutely correct, Fuu signals to Danzo, who had been telepathically communicating with him all this time.

"Well done, Shino. You've proven to us that you and your clan can be of use."

And with that Shino scrunches his eyes shut. A little bit disoriented from having to memorize while using the Senrigan. His beetles swiftly fly back to him, bringing him a small amount of chakra they absorbed from the villagers.

 "I've done my part in reintegrating the Aburames. Give me a month and things will be back to normal. Are you ready to fulfill your side of the promise?" Danzo asked, as he stood up from his chair.

Shino gulps nervously. He didn't really plan out what to do next. But Shino was a master at lying, and with a countenance that no one can read, he was indecipherable.

 "Why did you want us gone in the first place?" Shino asks, not realizing that he had voiced the thoughts out loud.

Danzo Shimura was a man who took the Second Hokage's manifesto to heart. Perhaps a bit too much. Shino had suspected, backed with the evidence and observation of his clansmen, that Danzo was pulling strings that led to the Uchiha massacre. It was easy to connect the dots, especially with Shibi and Shino's ability (they were tasked to clean it up. Shibi was fast in doing so, while Shino tended to the unconscious Sasuke.)

From the very formation of Konoha, the Aburame clan was in charge of the most tedious work. Often times having to deal with the brunt of it while Konoha lives scott-free. Border patrols, cleaning up after crimes, interrogation. The Aburames are efficient, but this efficiency ultimately lead to their public consternation.

"You Aburames are skilled, I must admit." Danzo's croaked voice echoed through the chamber. "So much so that any village would want to use you as weapons."

"And that's all there is to it, really. You bunch are too strong. Too skilled. There's too many unknown factors. The higher-ups have agreed to eliminate these threats. After all, Konoha prides itself in being a friendly nation. Your blood brings filth to our soil."

 Shino knows that there is a lie slipped between those words. Danzo was not a friendly type of leader.

 "The Four Noble Clans of Konoha are in need of a change. The Uchihas have proven to be evil. It is in Konoha's best interest to discard the bad, and salvage whatever is left. Haven't you noticed? The only reason we keep the Akimichi is because they're dumb enough to be controlled by the Nara and Yamanaka. And the Hyuuga's reputation are held at our mercy. You're smart enough to figure the rest." Danzo says, walking to approach Shino.

What?

Did he hear his words right? The Akimichi clan? All along, Shino had thought that the lucky title of a 'Noble Clan' are given to clans who had body modifications that cannot be replicated by other ninjas. To think that his fellow team had such a scheme hanging around their backs...Shino wants to believe that Team 10's friendship is genuine.

"Tomorrow," Danzo says, patting the chuunin's back, "You will be promoted as Jonin and will be registered as a member of the ANBU. Of course, that's a lie. Because tomorrow I will personally have you run... special errands for me."

Shino gulped. He didn't like the close proximity.

"Make sure you say your goodbyes today. You'll be listed as dead for security reasons."

 And with that, Shino is let out of the facility. He finds himself pondering aimlessly on a nearby park bench. Autumn has turned the Konohagakure into a beautiful display of warm colors. The trees looked like they've been covered in a rich, velvet cloak and the air was sublime. Shino wonders how long it'll be till he can bask in this scenery again.

 First, he'd visit his father. Then, he'd visit his other family members. After that he'll visit...no one. How could Shino bear to look at his friend's faces after resolving so adamantly to despise them? After convincing himself that they've forgotten him. 

(And Shino still hopes. He hopes that somehow someone will notice eventually.)

But he supposes he'll finish his priorities first. Evade a civil war, restore his clan's honor, and the rest will be his secondary concerns. It is dire that he doesn't get emotional, especially in the current state Konoha is in.

 He looks at the children, playing games under a nearby tree. They were too young for the academy, of course, but if they were old enough to attend, would they all turn out like him? Cold and efficient? 

Shino thinks that he used to be a perfectly good student. A good ninja, but perhaps not so good as a friend. One can see plenty of differences between Shino and the rambunctious Naruto, but do they realize how much he envies his cheerful personality?

(And Shino envies him so much. He's taken the attention of the girl he favors. And now, he has taken everyone's attention away from Shino's disappearance.

 Naruto had outshined Shino. As if Shino was a shadow that should not exist.)

He's had enough of the pointless thoughts. It was almost noon and Shino has to hurry home if he wants to say proper goodbyes.

 But a shrill bark had frozen him to his seat.

 "Akamaru, calm down!" A familiar voice shouted.

 Shino jolted at the sound. It was coming from behind him. He senses two people walking by, and a dog beside them. Shino was already certain of who they were. 

 "Akamaru, what's wrong boy? You shouldn't be barking at strangers." The man—Kiba himself said, as he crouched to rub Akamaru's head.

"Maybe he sees someone, Kiba-kun? I don't think anyone's back home from missions..." Hinata replied, looking around the park.

 Oh heavens. If there was anyone who Shino would avoid the most, it'd be these two—Hinata  and Kiba. He doesn't want to face them. He doesn't even want to be near them. Alas, everytime Shino denies this thought his heart urges him more and more. To simply turn to them. To tell them everything.

(But who was it really who had decided to forget about him in the first place? No one had bothered to ask where he went after the Chuunin exams.)

 Akamaru's barking turned into a soft whine. The canine was visibly confused.

Shino has yet to move from his spot at the bench.

 "Come on now. No one is here. You've mistaken him for someone else, buddy." Kiba says, sounding a little harsh for someone who claims to be Akamaru's partner.

 (Shino wanted to burst out laughing. Doubting a ninja dog's nose? Especially one who has worked with Shino for years? Kiba was a bad liar.

See, even Akamaru notices! Shino thinks to himself, proud to have concluded that the fault was theirs all along.)

 Akamaru still whines when Kiba motions him away from Shino's bench. 

"Why are you being so difficult today?!" Kiba grunts, frustrated. "Come on Akamaru, you don't want to upset Hinata on our date!"

 Oh.

 Oh.

 So it’s like that, huh.

 "K-Kiba-kun! Please don't shout in public..." Hinata whimpers, fiddling her thumbs together.

And with a little nudge, Akamaru finally moves on with them. The couple enjoying the beauty of Konoha's Autumn, oblivious to everything behind it.

 It took minutes. Hours, even for Shino to compose himself enough to process the ordeal.  

 And those hours were filled with empty pondering. With words that were on the tip of falling out of his mouth. With feelings that he had not been brave enough to admit before. With the eternal, everlasting regret of not speaking up.

But there was nothing he could do.

A shinobi must constantly suppress their emotions, follow a strict set of rules that they decide among themselves, and avoid extraneous conflict

 This is for the best. he repeats to himself. Hinata would be better off without him, he thinks.

(But he could have made her happy too. He would've given everything for her.)

 A stroll to wash off these thoughts. Yes, Shino thinks that all he needed was to cool his head, shrug it off, and return to his obligations tomorrow. The warm glow of sunset was eager to mask his unease.

The sunset was particularly shy that day, and had swiftly sank to allow the moon to greet him instead. It's already past six o,clock. He knows that he needs to greet his family, but Shino's distraught conscience told him to look at the sky. The moon was still as luminous as usual.

 Shino had always known how beautiful the moon is. How beautiful its pearly shimmer is. 

(How gentle her eyes were, radiating such a serene, pure love)

 And like an opened dam, suddenly Shino feels his chest aching. Like a hole had opened inside him--one that he can't touch nor see. A hole that, no matter how hard Shino tries, would always engulf him in rain. In a downpour that feels like a thousand needles showering on him.

It feels like such a distant memory. Months ago they were still fine. Hinata was still his comrade. And now, she's floating further away from his grasp.  Was there no more space for Shino in her heart?

 (But Shino was a fool to believe—

 A firefly can't love the moon.

 Its language can't be heard,

Its wings can't reach the sky,

Its light can't compare to the sea of stars.

 It can only do what a firefly does best.

 Illuminate the night in its own glow. 

A token of a love that falls on deaf ears.)

 By the time Shino reaches the Aburame compound, his tears were already dry. Shibi waits for him near the estate gates, and without speaking a word, held his son in a deep embrace. A fitting greeting for a child who's always been forced to grow up before his time.

Shino was going to stay the night in the estate. Saying goodbyes and packing things up. Of course, no further information would be given—everyone was in a state of wary due to the constant supervision.

He had to console them the best he can. Explain the situation. Share his insights. Assure them that this is his job as the Aburame heir. And for that, he would do everything in his capacity to make sure his loved ones don't perish.

 A night is never enough to tell stories. By tomorrow morning, Shibi would have said goodbye to two sons.

[musical-chick-13]

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder. 

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

[alvinsoffie]

WORLD AIDS DAY 2020

December 1,

Theme: Each World AIDS Day focuses on a specific theme,  

This years theme is  “ Global Solidarity: Shared Responsibility.  ”

A look back at recent themes gives an interesting perspective:

2020    Global solidarity, shared responsibility

2019    Communities make the difference

2018    Know your status

2017    My health, my right

2016    Hands up for HIV prevention

Personal awareness and responsibilty, coupled with Community support is a reasonable paradigm for moving the HIV/AIDS agenda forward. Embracing this can go a far way to achieve the Goals for eliminating HIV

"  World AIDS Day remains as relevant today as it’s always been, reminding people and governments that HIV has not gone away. There is still a critical need for increased funding for the AIDS response, to increase awareness of the impact of HIV on people’s lives, a need to end stigma and discrimination and to improve the quality of life of people living with HIV."  

I am quoting directly from UNAIDS here.

A useful way to compare The two pandemics:  The 40 year old HIV/AIDS pandemic is the stately annual  journey around the sun.   COVID 19  is the 28 day cycle of the moon around the earth.  It's busy and frenzied. Because it shares the same stigmas, the same governments the same communities; the same inequities: we get a quicker look at the cycle of events. Some countries are already on their third wave, their third cycle or go round of COVID 19. And lessons are being learned at this heightened pace.

This crisis, This frenzied pace has become  a wake-up call, an opportunity to do things differently—better, and together. In many respects, the defeat of AIDS as a public health threat could depend on how the world responds to COVID-19.

Inasmuch as  COVID 19  has overshadowed the AIDS pandemic. we  DO note that some important lessons are being learned and that with care we can utilize  aspects of the COVID 19 response to improve HIV response and awareness.

Since you have invited a religous, I believe that you are expecting some insight from a Christian or Biblical perspective, and if this is so, I wouldn't want to disappoint you.

I did some homework, a little research,  and came away shocked!   In a sense  upset on learning that Stigma is the main deterent and source of frustration for battling and overcoming the effects of the AIDS epidemic.

As I looked at the seven types of stigma identified across a range of psychosocial situations, I came to realize that Stigma and its associates, prejudice and discrimination, are deeply ingrained responses that are applied outside of logic and wisdom, and where it surfaces can surprise you.

For the record the seven types of Stigma are:

PUBLIC,  SELF,  PERCEIVED, LABEL AVOIDANCE,  BY ASSOCIATION,  STRUCTURAL, AND HEALTH INDUSTRY PERSONEL.

All of these manifestation  of Stigma are being  experienced in real time in this COVID 19 pandemic. Lets not forget that persons were beaten for sneezing, an involuntary act. Fear and paranoia brings out the worst in us. Where they find common ground, the excesses are very dangerous.

To return to the global AIDS response;  At a time when 'untraceable equals untransmittable is a reality already, It is strange that there is no obvious reintegration mechanism for the persons who can overcome the virus. Right HERE, such a mechanism or protocol could provide a rallying point against the stigma PLHIV face. It becomes a powerful incentive to reach for; a goal to achieve. This is one crucial difference with COVID 19, Governments want us to get back to work so there are tests and procedures for reintegration for those who have caught and overcome the virus. The reintegration is SPONSORED because it is deemed vital.

The HIV scenario still has gender bias and sexuality and dominance issues that drive the stigma and after 40 years they remain well entrenched globally.

What does scripture have to offer here. Both Old and New Testaments recognize a variety of diseases that initially demand isolation and removal  from communal life. Numbers 12 points to a situation where Miriam the sister of Moses was punished with a skin disease and was out of the camp in isolation for 10 days. Even here there was a clear return to community. She wasn't cast into outer darkness with weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Israel camped and waited  for her. Just a biblical reminder that it always help to have a celebrity or power person build empathy for your cause.

The reintegration mechanism was well defined. The priests were trained and were the ones assigned the inspection of the suffering person. Once satisfied of their rehabilitation, they offered the necessary sacrifice and were fully reintegrated into family and community.

In the Gospels where Jesus was remarkably open to transformative action on peoples behalf, his advise to cured lepers, to

" show yourself to the priests ...  

and  

" Offer the sacrifices Moses commanded"

leverages this generations old schema for returning the  renewed back to community. Jesus did not subvert the process: he co-opted the process for the validation that it offered. The process is Critical! In real life more than a few persons doing well on their regime fall away and do not return for medication and help. The validation process is aborted by some triggered fear and more than a few will end up dead; losing their lives.

   A lesson here is that education doesnt always defeat prejudice. In fact it can provide seemingly plausible justification for discrimination.  This is why discrete access to health care for PLHIV is a necessity. Thank God for JASL.

   The Label Avoidance Stigma is the most insiduous of the seven. It is the one that keeps the infected person from seeking help. in your community or elsewhere. They know full well that bush have ears and if you are seen in Mocho or Portland or Mandiville at a clinic the rumour mill will grind and your issues will be publicised. They keep quiet and die quieter still. I have seen it up close and it hurts my heart every time I am faced with it.  Let me say it again;  Thank God for JASL  

Sadly, you are as likely to hear a pastor or preacher condemn the sick and declare God's judgment rather than provide access to care and counselling and in hospitals one has to deal with health professionals whose personal biases become stumbling blocks to personal healthcare services..some share unethically, the details of their patients, furthering stigma and discrimination  ...   very well documented.

If the church would follow Its Lord's instructions. If it would extend itself to speak for the voiceless

Someone came to Jesus for healing and the discussion began:  'Lord, If you choose you can make me whole'.  Jesus said,  'I DO Choose!'  If our churches would follow Jesus and choose to facilitate health and wholeness, a lot could change.

Church could stand with or stand up for  the sick especially PLHIV/AIDS.  it could do a lot to counter stigma, to counter the whispered inuendos that is Stigma by Association. Stigma by Association is the one that kills community support for the needy. It is the one that ties you to the presumed sexual preferences and activities of the persons you are inclined to help.  

Churches could build support for members and persons who are HIV positive, but who would dare share their status with the brothers or sisters in church. Very few keep secrets, fewer still, exhibit compassion. We need radical Christianity of the leave all and follow Jesus variety.

Returning to the bigger stage,  the theme Global solidarity, shared responsibility invites us to revisit our relationships and the activities they engender. Global solidarity invites us to explore the Global response and align ourselves with projects and activities that we are able to support. There are a plethora of them and myriad best practices scenarios waiting for our implementation.

One important feature of World Aids Day is the memorialization of the dead. Given the early stigma and circumstances of dying,  many persons have not been properly remembered and closure is still eluding some families who have lost loved ones to  HIV/AIDS.

The opportunity to come out and name them and remember them is hugely therapeutic. This is something that the Church does well.   Catholicism provides a liturgy on All Saints Day, November 1 for the memorialization of our dead. We do it systematically and we know the benefits of it. We light the votive candle, we pray for those we love, and we ask God in his Love and Mercy to deal kindly with them.

There is a ministry here for churches. There is a place where we can quietly exercise the gift of presence as in grief counselling and just be there for those who need us. There is a place for a prophetic voice that can stop the slander and inuendo by its forthright affirmation of the Person living with HIV as a full and complete human being, bearing the image of GOD.  

Even in death, the stigma continues and the cause of death for the death certificate can be problematic for family members.  To remove Stigma is to open up the resources freely and fully for those who need it. This day must come sooner rather than later.  these are difficult times, make no mistake. But we can make a difference if we try a little bit harder.

 Shared Responsibility brings us back to Genesis and Cain's question  ' Am I my brother'e keeper?' Yes!  Yes we are.  God requires an answer of each of us. We are social creatures We need each other for Fulness of living.  We will need to develop more programs that bring real benefits to people living witH HIV

My word of encouragement for PLHIV/AIDS is simple:  Keep the faith. HIV is no longer a death sentence. Serious progress has been made and you can access a good life right here, right now. Your Life is precious! Dont throw it away! Do NOT let pride or shame rob you of health and family, joy and accomplishments. Still dream...  Most things are still possible if you believe and persevere.

Do the right things for yourself. There is now legal recourse to some forms of discrimination. Fight your battle for your life and find support for your cause along the way.  Life is Precious.... DON'T give up! Fight Fight   Fight!

With discipline and determination, the way things are going,  you might actually outlive some of your detractors.

Here I want to quote and close with Minister of State in the Ministry of Health and Wellness, Juliet Cuthbert-Flynn,

“Whether as funding partners, technical informants for policy design and programme implementation, or as medical workers serving people living with HIV and AIDS at the community level, we need to have all hands on deck." the Observer November  20

I endorse All hands on Deck! The world can  and must do better regarding the AIDS pandemic. We must remove the strictures and structures that maintain stigma and discrimination in all its forms.

I endorse all hands on deck and hope to see church and state join together to do the right thing for signicant numbers of our citzens who need our help

I endorse All hands on deck to design and build reintegration protocols and mechanisms for those on the margins right now. they dont need to be there!

I endorse all hands on deck if these hands are tender loving hands, desiring to nurture and to care for those in need.   We have had enough of the finger pointing sleight of hand deception > I'm just saying:

I endorse all hands on deck in the response from governments, NGOs and  Communities  acting globally and locally.  It is my hope that solidarity will facilitate the crafting of an accelerated response with a view to end Living with HIV/AIDS soon.

[beybladeimagines]

I loved your recent headcanon of the team in their early 20s, thank you so much for that! I have a question Regarding hiwatari corp, I'm currently reading the manga beyblade rising, I'm confused, Kai's parents have been around all along? Voltaire isn't as evil as we thought? Maybe I'm being dim, but are you able to explain what hiwatari corp actually seems to do? And info regarding Kai's parents? I always thought voltaire was evil, so I'm confused why Kai would work for him. It's been years!

Mod Note: Yeah, when the manga revealed that Kai actually has a pretty decent connection with his family, I disassociated for like five minutes, because that lowkey makes no sense and contradicts so much of what we’ve seen. Let’s try to make some sense out of the chaos, shall we?

Let’s start with Hiwatari Enterprise. For the longest time, it’s remained a mystery. I’ve had to do some digging around to figure out what exactly it is. From what I’ve seen based on popular discussion, it’s apparently assumed to be a Japanese military company. But, if you ask me where in the manga it states that… I have absolutely no idea. Even “military company” is rather vague, because that could mean anything. Do they make steel, weapons, chemicals, electronics, etc.? I’m just going to weave together my thoughts.

So, let’s entertain the idea that it is a military company. I would argue that makes a lot of sense, because it explains the whole dynamic between Voltaire and Boris, Boris’ quest for domination, the entire existence of the Abbey, and the militarization and resocialization of young boys to become soldiers. Voltaire may not be serving in the military, but because he often engages with military officials through meetings and deals, he’s already familiar with the process of establishing order, of breaking people down, and of calling the shots from behind the scenes. As for what Voltaire’s company actually makes, I would like to venture a guess that it deals in electronics / devices. This would explain the massive amount of training resources that were found at the Abbey and that many of the boys were subjected to. Hell, I’d even argue that some of those boys were testing out Hiwatari Enterprise’s devices before they were deemed safe for use or even safe for the public. They were actual guinea pigs in a multitude of ways.

Fast forward to when Voltaire gets arrested and Boris manages to escape punishment. Even though Voltaire wasn’t really…doing anything, because of his connections with the military, I imagine his detainment was prioritized. Many would probably argue that Boris was simply “following orders” but in reality, law enforcement would most likely prioritize the man who is literally responsible for making devices for the military (due to that insane amount of prestige) instead of the man who did the physical, mental, and emotional abuse all at once. Gotta love the law’s priorities. 

Now, let’s talk about Kai. Why would he work for him? In a world where Voltaire apparently isn’t arressted, why would Kai go back to his abuser? We’ve got a couple different routes we can go here. Let’s say we’re following the anime’s canon. Here, Kai isn’t working for his grandfather; rather, he full on replaces him. The reason I argue that Kai would return to the company is because he knows that that’s where all of his trauma started. Kai is interested in dismantling the very thing that broke him in the first place. It’s as if he’s stepping back in time and getting a chance to start all over again. He gets to be the one in a position of power and he gets to put things back on track without involving blading. He feels as if he’s righting all of the wrongs he was exposed to. It’s not like Kai really even cares about the business aspect of things, but I do believe he wants to be seen as a real leader by others.

Now, let’s conceptualize the mess that is the manga’s canon. If Voltaire is still around and Kai decides to work for him, I imagine it’s because he wants to distance himself from the Bladebreakers. Kai had essentially embarrassed himself a multitude of times through his acts of betrayal. If we’re conceptualizing things with a dark twist, I’d say this act serves as the last chance for him to regain control or dominance, or to finally be seen as the best. I imagine that the longer someone is around a being as manipulative as Voltaire, they start to embrace the same problematic qualities and justify their desire for destruction. In Kai’s case, maybe he wasn’t so willing? Maybe it’s a case of manipulation. Or, maybe he’s just trying to keep the family together and stable (financially, maybe?) so he decides to do something he wouldn’t normally agree to. 

In this case, I’m going to let ya’ll decide what you want to believe, because it really does depend on the canon you choose to follow and how much you want to focus on the grim reality that is Kai’s life. 

Yo, but let’s talk about Kai’s parents, because they’re confusing too. I wrote headcanons before about Kai’s mom. Essentially, when Kai decided to be as hateful as Voltaire it tore her apart, and yet, we don’t see her standing up to Voltaire when he was telling Kai about how his dad chose blading over him. But, I imagine that moment was confusing and hard for anyone. Her husband just stood up to his father, but his father has made their life pretty stable, but his father is also imposing a problematic rhetoric onto her son, but also…you have no idea where the hell your own husband is even going and what he plans on doing. I imagine she regrets that day and it’s the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up every morning. 

As for Kai’s dad, well… Kai has a hard time swallowing his pride and I believe he gets that from his dad. I think his dad knew he contributed to fucking up his own son’s life by not making many attempts to clear the air. But because so much time has passed, he has no idea if he should even bring the trauma up or act like everything is fine. I imagine he tries to act like everything’s fine and tries his best to win Kai’s affections. He pops back into Kai’s life rather unexpectedly, but Kai is ready to forgive him. He got the truth and although Kai struggles to understand and truly come terms with said truth, I think he just wants his family back, because lord knows his friendships aren’t stable. It takes a while for Kai’s father to actually address their past, but I think everyone in that household is just ready to be a family again. They have missed so many years together. Kai is so fucking tired of being bitter. This doesn’t even involve blading or being the best. This involves having someone to come home to, this involves unconditional love, this involves receiving a form of support that is absent of jealousy. He needs family now more than ever and I think everyone is determined to rebuild as well.

As for Voltaire being portrayed as the strict grandpa that’s suddenly welcomed back into the family, I-… I don’t get it. It’s completely out of character. I mean, my goodness. This entire time we thought Kai didn’t have a family or if we thought that he did, we assumed they were abusive or something… Now that we found out they actually love one another, I can explain that - easy peasy. But Voltaire being reintegrated into the family picture? And not arrested? You got me fucked up. I can’t even conceptualize a rational justification for that nonsense other than they rewrote the canon and in that canon, apparently Voltaire did nothing wrong. I might need some time to think that part through, anon. But I hope everything else made a hell of a lot more sense!

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Series Review Pt. 3/3

Part One

Part Two

All right, last one!

One of the things about adults is that most become increasingly less flexible the older they get. They learn to function in a certain way to get certain results and work themselves into a pattern that inhibits their ability to be creative or dynamic which is compounded the less they are challenged. This isn’t opinion - this has been a scientifically and statistically verified fact. Different levels of physical and emotional development fundamentally changes the way human beings process stimuli and conflict, and factors like physical injuries and trauma affect the ability of one to process and resolve stressful situations. This doesn’t mean adults can’t change the way they think or do things, but it’s much harder for them to mentally and emotionally break out of their preconceived notions unprompted whereas younger adults still largely maintain the ability to criticize and adjust changes in perspective and creatively adapt to new information.

The kids we see in HeroAca are in a particularly unique situation in regards to coming from a background of ideals (“If I work hard, I’ll see the fruits of my labor”) and coming to grips with the inherently unfair nature of the world (“Even the greatest hero can’t save everyone”). Combined with the early exposure they’ve had to the injustices in their society and their general disposition to maximize the positive impact they have on others the “next generation of heroes” is in a unique situation to completely overhaul the current system literally as they enter it by bringing in new ideals and embracing their diversity in thought and background to directly challenge failings in the old system as well as bring awareness to those who exist outside it. With an added sense of camaraderie and teamwork over rivalry they have the ability to foster more “human” conversations with the aim of improving the world as opposed to being purely focused on “business” when in uniform the way their predecessors were.

This isn’t to say that the grown heroes of the series have to be completely done away with, just that they have not had a generation so able to challenge them to action in the way their juniors do now. In fact, it’s a running theme in the series that the next generation of heroes either teach or save their mentors in unexpected ways and with varying degrees of intensity as they work through adversity together.

Red Riot has not only saved Fatgum in a literal sense in the battle with the Shie Hassaikai, but Fatgum explicitly states he underestimated the ability and resolve of the young hero. He also holds faith in his older mentee, Sun Eater, whom he regards as a hero unrivaled in ability in the current climate if he only could overcome his own self-doubt. Sir Nighteye’s confidence in Lemillion is evident from the start and to his dying breath believes the key to his ability to save is not rooted in the strength of his quirk but by his ability to make others smile. Nighteye’s previous disdain of Deku is eventually turned into awe and inspiration when he’s able to do what was previously thought to be impossible and theoretically change destiny itself. All Might’s faith in Deku has also been immediately obvious, but seeing that his symbolic value with the next generation as a hero hasn’t depreciated with his declining ability has given him the resolve to fight for his own survival again. Bakugo in particular has received a new, special place in his heart as a capable hero who together with Deku represents his two separate but related core values in a hero - winning and saving - but with greater potential then All Might was able to achieve alone. Shinsou has served as a personal means for Eraserhead to move past the trauma of violently losing his childhood friend and begin to truly encourage the next generation to accept the risk inherent in this line of work instead of letting his fears inhibit his ability to teach and mentor them. Shouto has been a catalyst for Endeavor to seek to restore to his family what he took away from them and to recognize that he can never fully restore or erase the trauma he inflicted on them nor does he have any right to ask to be included in their lives any further. Even straightforward, straight-laced Tsukoyomi has inspired Hawks to take a second look at what it means to raise up the next generation of heroes outside of his own troubled past with it to the point he now actively encourages and genuinely believes in them as a whole to possess the power to make changes he couldn't.

These conversations have largely not happened with the criminal side of the field as any opportunity for the children to touch the hearts of villains have been marred by the inherent life-or-death struggle of each encounter. Each side is literally too busy fighting for survival/victory to truly have some of these meaningful conversations, but the seeds they’ve planted in the hearts of their mentors as well as the rare heart-to-heart interactions they’ve had with villains have proven they have power; and that’s going to be the deciding factor in this literal war at the end of the manga - that is, this missing piece is going to be an opportunity for the heroes to save the hearts of the villains.

The key to this next generation “saving” an army of villains will be dependent on their ability to advocate for rehabilitation and reintegration into society - both for villains to accept the help and for broader society being willing to forgive them. Hawks has already started with his personal offer to help Twice, but it will be interesting to see how others are able to input offers for reform in the heat of battle and in light of their individual circumstances.

An example I hope we’ll get to see is an interaction between Dabi, Endeavor, and Shouto (assuming, of course, that Dabi is a Todoroki). Shouto would be the main deciding factor in the altercation as he has undergone the same kind of abuse and personal tragedy at the hand of Endeavor as Dabi has; but the outcome was completely different and he therefore may be able to speak to Dabi in a way that Endeavor definitely cannot. Shouto made the personal choice to not let his hatred for his father consume him and instead channeled the resources available to him to become a hero capable of saving others because he determined in and of himself to do so, rather than becoming a person obsessed with personal vengeance or merely operating as his father’s vicarious victory. It’s important to remember that Shouto has looked to the ideals of heroism (mainly through his admiration of All Might) as a good thing from a young age, but those ideals were overshadowed in the face of the constant abuse in his home and he became more and more cynical over time. As he began to accept that he was not bound by the burden of his upbringing and was capable of moving past the trauma to determine his own future despite it, he was not only able to change his entire outlook on his future for his own sake; but Shouto even began to cause Endeavor to reexamine the ethics and consequences of his actions even without the forgiveness of his family simply by operating as the kind of hero Shouto wanted to be for himself instead of the hero Endeavor tried to force upon him. 

In this light, Dabi’s personal vendetta is clarified to not be the pursuit of justice but a mere act of vengeance with understandable motivation but ultimately evil justification that has not only failed to constructively address the issue of neglect and abuse in his own home, let alone of hero families as a whole, but has caused undeserved collateral death and grief in the process. Whether this revelation will “save” Dabi is unknown as Shouto and Natsuo also still hold deep contempt for their father; but both of them have begun to move past the events of their childhood (if only in very small steps) and have begun to self-determine their relationship with their father individually, while Dabi is still operating out of pure spite. Interestingly, what we may end up seeing in this situation is a schism resulting in a fight similar to the final showdown between Zuko and Azula in Avatar: the Last Airbender. (And on that note, I don’t know how I didn’t notice the additional parallels between the families sooner between the scar, paternal abuse resulting in an estranged mother, and sibling with blue fire. I called Todoroki Frosty Fire Prince Zuko in the past as a joke, but this feels so obvious now; I’ve clearly been sleeping.) One more wild card thrown in will be if Hawks is present for this interaction and seeing his reaction to it as he will fight Dabi and has a similar story to both him and Shouto.

Where kids like Bakugo and Deku will be most relevant or impactful is not quite clear at the moment, though a clash with Shigaraki feels imminent. We do know at least that each are counted as capable heroes in their own rights with the distinction that Bakugo is a hero who wins fights and Deku is a hero who saves people so their role might look like something along the lines of Bakugo ending a battle and Deku ending the underlying conflict. There seems to be an insinuation that these two things rarely can be done at the same time, and that first the physical threat must be addressed before a sit-down and exchange can be made to talk about the motivations and underlying causes of the fight. Much like with the final fight with Overhaul, Eri was not considered to be completely saved until after she was removed from her situation and then allowed to heal - and even that process is ongoing.

If the heroes are able to refute the viewpoints of the villains at the end of the day and are able to truly move the public on their behalf, those who chose to cooperate will likely be given the chance to start over while those who continue to fight out of spite will be at best detained and at worst killed in the struggle. What this might look like, I’m not sure, as some have hefty crimes to answer for and may not have the opportunity to truly reintegrate. Any country/society/culture with as many people committing as severe crimes as these would have difficulty embracing change that would welcome these people back, let alone the specific context of Japan that brutally punishes criminals and so often permanently damages their reputations and social standing - sometimes for what many would consider only “minor” crimes. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t hope for even the worst of them with a proper change of heart; and the fact that the Meta Liberation Army was as widespread a cultural phenomena as it was offers the idea that enough people are open to the ideas of the radical shifts necessary to address these concerns which increases the chance to make reforms peacefully.

As a focus point, consider Shigaraki. He’s the most important villain to reach not only as the head of this massive villain organization but as a dire victim of the current system’s shortcomings. His own biggest quarrel with hero society as it stands is that it makes people overconfident and apathetic because there's always a hero just around the corner - let them handle this person in need. While Shigaraki is not advocating for individual moral responsibility, a new societal emphasis on it could resolve most of the issues he has with hero society. A big enough cultural shift could also address instances of criminal activity on a case by case basis - a new focus that hurt people lashing out isn't acceptable behavior, but perhaps some other response than immediate punishment should be considered; as well as reconsider the role of the current justice system in the progressive intensity over a person’s criminal history to mitigate these problems before they manifest.

Right now what's holding up Shigaraki's power over others (outside of the terror he inspires) is the support of others predicated on a lie - and this goes both for the League and the PLF. If that lie is exposed, Shigaraki could wind up high, dry, and unsupported - vulnerable - depending on how individuals take the revelation. He does seem to genuinely care for the core members of the League, and their loyalty to him is undeniably profound and far reaching. Despite his nihilism, at the end of the day he’s still a deeply wounded and angry individual looking in extremes for some solace in the injustice of a world that rejected him. There are many ways this can go depending on who faces who in the final showdowns to come; but for that we'll have to wait and see.

If someone as far gone as Shigaraki can be saved then there's a bright future out there for everyone if they are willing to reach out together and grab it.

This review has left out many aspects of the story I reviewed as important but not necessary for this article, and at some 5k words that's probably for the best. Too much speculation at the moment doesn't feel very productive outside of how general themes and plotlines will tie up at the end, but I'll have to save some of those specifics for some other time. Thank you for sticking out with me this far, and thank you again to @baezetsu​ and @dorito9708​ for helping me review and edit all this information!

[iphoenixrising]

it's mermay!! will mer!au get another installment??

HI BABE

Ah, I mean, I hadn’t really thought about the Mer-thing tbh and someone sent an ask about the last one being a little too dubcon-ish. Which, I mean, I can understand. 

But between you and me, I feel like it would go something like this:

Once Dr. Drake broke the surface of the water, gasping in a deep breath of dirty Gotham Harbor air–

–his tail turns back into legs, and he’s frantically kicking to try and keep himself and his large belly afloat.

It’s only by sheer luck a few fishermen are coming in after a day out with the nets and see him starting to tire on the swim back to dry ground.

“M-My clothes are gone!”

They give him a spare set and let him use the phone to call Tam, and get a very nice pick-up.

The clothes are for someone probably twice his size and hide his belly, and she looks positively horrified and immensely relieved at the same time.

She’s kept up the rent on his apartment, been checking with GCPD’s missing person’s unit, kept the university abreast that yes, Dr. Drake is still missing. So she does take him home, make him hot tea, and listen to the most INCREDIBLE story of her life.

“Th-they’re real? That’s! And you’re!”

“Yes and yes,” his voice is hoarse, the shakes mostly subsided. “We’ve found evidence in bits and pieces over the last fifty years, Tam. It’s not as far fetched as you might believe. The fact I’m…pregnant is another thing entirely.”

“Well, I mean, I can’t exactly throw you a baby shower, Tim.”“I need to find a doctor that can be discreet.”

At this juncture, Dick and Jay have gone back to their clan to tell them what has happened to their poor mate. The head of their clan gives them each a bit of magic trapped in shells.

“These will help you. You will understand the language of the land-walkers.”“How will we get to him?”“Use the magic, my clansmen. It will direct you to what you seek.”

It would be something for the two to get close to the surface and whisper to the shells how much they want to find their little mate. They want to love and protect him, they want to be by his side.

And the magic throbs in hand, gives them the legs they need to walk on land for the first time.

If anyone had seen how they wobbled and fell all over the beach trying to get used to standing, it would probably be hilarious. But in reality, the two are one hundred percent invested on getting this walking thing down so they can keep following the scent trailing through the city before they lose it.

It takes a while, but they’re able to walk well enough to see land walker coverings  behind some glass. Jay breaks it casually so they can get in and help themselves to some that fit quite nicely. They leave authentic gold doubloons on the counter as payment.

The foot coverings are odd, but it feels much nicer than when they step on the street without them.

The two walk and listen to land walkers, the magic shells allowing them to understand the language and many of the references to the world above the waves.

They’re probably suffering culture shock, wandering around Gotham to see everything and try to catch their mate’s scent again.

…while Tim has contacted the only expert he thinks could be discreet enough (and might believe everything) to help.

Dr. Ra’s al Ghul, Aquatic Mythos.

He goes in to his office at the University, has to explain to his research team where he’d been the last two months and hide the fact he’s pregnant.

It takes him a few days to get reintegrated with where they are in their work, and meeting deadlines for studies, etc. Business as usual.

(And does Tim angst about it after Tam leaves him alone finally and he has a night in his apartment to inhale everything, to rub his swollen belly and feel the little life kick inside. To love it without even really trying. To think about what could have happened if he’d stayed in the ocean, stayed with them–)

Tim gets used to his balance being off, to being hungry at odd times of the night, gets caught up on news and things during his spare time when he’s not catching up on work.

It’s only been a few days back, but he’s absolutely on his game (he’s going to have a child to look after), already setting up a request for a brief leave to go abroad and study on-site of a large research program. 

He’ll come back with (Minnow at the moment, but that might change depending on what he finds out if he can access to an ultrasound machine) a child in nine months, telling everyone it’s the child of a family member or something.

By the time the baby comes, he’ll have a plan.

As it turns out, his request is approved. He can go out to the coast and hide away, study, and swim in open waters until Minnow is ready to come into the world. Trust that it’s Dr. al Ghul to personally deliver the approval letter.

In his office.With the usual intense interest.But Ra’s may be the only one that could think of some archaic legend that could at least give him an idea how he’s going to have this baby or if mermen impregnating human men was ever, you know, a thing?

“I’m disappointed you have yet to come see me, Timothy,” while casually touching his hand and arm, “I was hoping you would have the moment you returned. And here I find you are off again so soon?”

“I’m doing some very important research,” he tries for casual, “I’d like to write another book soon. I think this one might be more…interesting…than the last.”

“Mm, I see. Should you have need of my extensive knowledge, Doctor, I am readily available.”

“I was kind of hoping you’d say that–”

Jay and Dick meanwhile have gone through the whole city on foot, taking in everything.

They meet so many land walkers and sit for hours in various parks, people watching, waiting, hoping for a sign.  Somewhere along the way, they traded a few shiny golds for much much greenery and someone on the street showed them what the paper meant.

They’ve eaten at different restaurants, gone to clubs and found the tradition of body writhing to loud sounds very fun.

But since Tim has gone against his instincts and told Ra’s al Ghul he might have proof of the existence of merfolk, the man is completely at attention.

(Proof? Then he would be welcomed back in the intellectual circles again, would regain his place and be out of Gotham for good.) 

When Tim starts asking about mermen mating humans, and any myths on children from that union–

–Ra’s al Ghul realizes the opportunity he has here.

“Hm. I seem to remember a few legends, but those books are in my personal library at home. Come over this evening and I’ll pull out a few of them. Perhaps we can uncover the details?”

Babe.

Babe.

You know what happens next. 

Ra’s drugs Tim’s soothing tea and unbuttons his shirt, finding out the truth.

Dick and Jay catch the scent of their mate from a creepy looking land walker carrying a bottle of sparkling cider and an evil grin.

When they see their mate pass out on the floor and the land walker starting to undress them, the fight is on.

The two are ruthless taking their mate from this man who dared touch his belly where their young lay.

And when Tim had admitted to Tam he was going to Ra’s tonight to do research about this little problem, she’d been worried enough to break into the records room of the university to get the address just in case. 

Jay is carrying their unconscious mate when a car stops right in front of them and Tam throws open the door.

“What are you doing with him!!”

The female is utterly terrifying.

“He is our mate!” Dick defends, stepping between her and Jay, “you cannot have him!”

“What?! He’s my boss, and you! You’re supposed to have a fish tail!”

Sirens rent the air and she yells at them to get in the damn car before the police come. Make it snappy fish-face!

It comes down to Tim waking up from the sedative Ra’s drugged him with laying on Tam’s couch in the lap of the two mermen holding him tightly and nuzzling against his face, patting his squirmy belly.

[scripttorture]

H! Do you know of any survivor accounts that focus on recovery? A big part of the story I'm writing happens after the main character is rescued from torture, and I want to make sure I don't downplay the effect it had on him and portray his recovery realistically. I'm mainly interested in a timeframe for reintegration/being able to go back to a "normal" life. If it's relevant, he is imprisoned and tortured (mostly beatings, stress positions, starvation and sleep deprivation) for about a month.

I’m sorry this one took so long. My best guess (and it is a guess) is somewhere in the range of 3-10 years. The rest of the answer goes into my reasoning, factors that typically effect recovery and things I’ve found helpful when I’m trying to write this sort of plot.

 From the sounds of it I think the most useful thing would be someone’s diary, but I don’t think there is actually a published diary covering the period immediately after a survivor was released for months and years afterwards.

 Survivor’s accounts often talk about recovery but- the thing is that isn’t usually why they make their experiences public so that often doesn’t end up being the focus.

 Alleg talks about recovery but his aim in publishing his memoirs was demanding the French authorities stopped torturing people in Algeria. Similarly people like ‘Donny the Punk’ Donaldson and Nadia Murad Basee Taha talked about their experiences to highlight abuses that were taking place on a wide scale.

 And that is often the reason people make their experiences public: to raise awareness, to draw attention, to demand change.

 By its nature that kind of discussion tends to make recovery secondary.

 It’s also worth noting that most survivors write about what happened to them a significant period of time after it actually happened. I believe there are some Inquisition era diaries that recount the period a victim was held for, but they’re rare and I think most of the authors were killed.

 Monroe is interested in recovery but it’s recovery in a rather broader sense. It’s less about what people can do when and instead about the more nebulous idea of holding on to humanity and being able to have faith in other people. Her focus is war but this isn’t the sole focus of the book.

 I do recommend her book, A Darkling Plain, generally. It’s most constructed of interviews her students took. Their instructions were to find someone who had lived through- Monroe calls it ‘political upheaval’, which sounds like a euphemism when she goes on to list war, genocide, violent revolution and oppressive regimes as her examples. The students were taught Institutional Review Board procedures and interviewed a survivor about their experience.

 One of the things I think is… enlightening about the approach is that emphasises how close we all are to survivors. We all know someone even if we don’t know the details of what they lived through. I think it’s easy to forget that sometimes.

 The interviews are very much led by the survivors. They’re generally looking back on experiences that happened years or decades ago. They go into how an experience changed the survivor, how it effected their outlook on life and whether/how they moved on.

 I believe you’d find it helpful but I don’t think it necessarily answers the more precise questions that effect writing. When someone could return to a job, when someone might be ready for a relationship, how they’d interact in the community.

 Based on modern accounts of the living conditions survivors find themselves in- I think the question of when people can comfortably do things is difficult because survivors are often put in a position where they’re either forced to do something before they’re comfortable with it or they’re actively prevented from doing it when they want to.

 Let me try to explain that with an example. A lot of survivors now are in refugee camps. A person’s ability to find work will vary depending on the camp, the country and the individual’s legal status.

 In some situations people in the camps are given very little support. In which case if the survivor doesn’t find some kind of work they might end up starving. In other situations a survivor’s immigration status might mean it’s illegal for them to work. Earning a wage can also be used as a reason to cut charitable or governmental support. Which can be a problem if the survivor is only capable of working occasionally and needs a steady source of income to keep them alive between the periods where they can work.

 The environment these people are in can force them into work when it isn’t healthy for them or it can prevent them from working when having a job would help.

 Environmental factors like these can obscure individual choice.

 Generally I’d encourage you to think about environmental factors and how they could effect the character’s recovery. Survivor’s still have bills to pay and they might be surrounded by people who think working or going back to a mainstream school/university would be ‘good for them’.

 Taking away environmental pressures there’s still a question of the character’s drive and motivation. A lot of people want to go back to doing things that are important to them. They want to recapture a sense of normality.

 A character who feels very strongly about their job and is highly dedicated is more likely to be back at work quickly whether that is healthy for them or not. A medic who has built their identity around helping others is much more likely to be back at work after three months then someone who doesn’t identify with their job.

 This does not necessarily mean the medic would be doing a good job or should be back at work. People do have a tendency to throw themselves back into tasks they identify strongly with.

 With work there’s also, potentially, an aspect of physical recovery to consider. A character who has survived a suspension torture, with the resulting nerve damage, may not be able to go back to being a pianist. At least not without a considerable period of time adapting to their disability.

 Even if a character is still able to do their job without adaptions and feels strongly about it they probably won’t be up to handling much stress or their previous workload. This does not necessarily stop people from trying.

 Whether a character identifies strongly with their job or not they might feel they ‘should’ be doing some form of work. And work has the potential to be extremely helpful during a mental health crisis. It can provide routine, a reason to get up when that feels impossible. A point of stability and a place of relative safety.

 Of course the flip side is it can also become a huge source of additional stress and pressure. Which it is depends on the job, the survivor, the working environment, the support (or not) of colleagues and the adaptions in place to support the survivor.

 Reintegrating into the community is also complicated by factors that have very little to do with the survivor character or their symptoms.

 A lot of communities reject survivors. Child soldiers and victims of rape (especially if it resulted in pregnancy) are often portrayed as traitors who have taken the ‘side’ of their abuser.

 This can apply to torture survivors too. If the dominant culture sees torture as a way of obtaining accurate information (this isn’t possible) then the assumption is often that the survivor must have ‘betrayed’ the community. People also tend to assume that if someone was arrested or otherwise targetted for torture they must have been guilty of something.

 If the survivor was subjected to ‘clean’ (non-scarring) tortures then- well then people usually assume that the survivor is lying and they weren’t tortured. From the sounds of things all the tortures your character survives are clean.

 These factors often work in tandem and make it impossible for survivors to feel welcome in their community. That isolation and lack of support has a huge negative effect on recovery. And because it’s so rare that survivors don’t have to deal with these additional stressors it’s difficult to estimate what recovery looks like without them.

 Anecdotally a lot of survivors report that support from their families and from religious institutions was incredibly important to them.

 I feel like a lot of this comes down to what a ‘normal’ life means.

 Because life for this character probably wouldn’t be quite like it was before. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t look normal.

 Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to cope with the stress, pressure or uncertainty of his previous job. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t work. Perhaps he’d struggle to do things he previously enjoyed, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t find other hobbies.

 I’m sorry that I can’t provide an accurate, statistically supported timeframe. I hope that I can describe a helpful way of approaching the problem as a writer-

 It’s unlikely that the character will be able to fix everything at once. He might be able to get a ‘normal’ working routine before he has a ‘normal’ social life, for instance. Or vice versa. I’d suggest splitting up the different aspects of his life that have been effected and thinking about them separately.

 You can categorise things in a way that makes the most sense for you. I’m outlining the way I would do it as an example, but if my categories don’t make sense for your story then add or remove things as you see fit.

 I’d split it up into: Work, Social life, Family life, Romantic/Sexual relationships (if applicable), Communal life and Ritual (ie engagement with wider cultural activities, such as religious services, may pole dancing, getting pissed at the solstice or anything else that’s a big event).

 I’d try to think about them separately and think about which area is the biggest priority for the character. I’m assuming ‘work’ comes first for the rest of the example because survivors still have bills to pay. I’m also assuming the character has enough support and stability to recover at his own pace; that the environment isn’t pressured and his environment isn’t adversely effecting his recovery.

 So I would start with the symptoms and the way they manifest.

 If he has anxiety or hypervigilance, what kind of situations set that off? For instance if his symptoms are triggered by crowds and loud noises then he might not be able to work in a popular night club any more.

 If his ideas of ‘normal’ and his goals revolve around doing that particular job again then his recovery and returning to work would take longer. It could take several years. If his personality/experience means his goals are more flexible then he might be able to find another career that provides a less triggering environment and includes something he liked about his previous job. In that case he might be working regularly again in six months or so. Possibly less.

 That could then provide enough stability/routine to let him find a balance in other areas of his life.

 If he has insomnia then trying to fit his life into a regular 9-5 schedule might be more stressful then it’s worth. Finding work that lets him be flexible about when he comes in, working from home or part time or free lance- could mean a speedier return to something like ‘normal’.

 Once I have some ideas about one aspect I’d take a look at the others and the wider plot. I’d think about whether there’s anything going on in the other categories, the plot or with the other characters that could impact on the survivor’s recovery.

 When I’m looking across the different categories I’m also on the look out for ways I can use them to feed back into the plot.

 So, if I stick with the night club example, perhaps this character has now started a job at a recording studio because this lets him indulge a passion for music with less crowds. And may be I can use that change in environment to introduce him to other characters. May be Drama at the night club is still effecting him through his social circle. May be working somewhere different means he’s unaware of the Drama and that aspect of the plot is going to take him by surprise.

 Stress from the different categories will feed into how he’s doing overall and so will positive things like stability and support. Some of the aspects of the character’s life are likely to look ‘normal’ before others.

 My best guess for reasonable time frames based on what I’ve read is something in the region of 3-10 years. But that’s taking everything into account across all those categories.

 In the best possible circumstances your character could have one aspect of his life looking normal within a year, possibly even as short a time frame as six months. But that assumes an unusual level of support, financial independence, access to treatment and- the internal flexibility to accept a normal that’s distinct to their pre-torture experience. Which could mean a different job, or a different way of socialising or a different degree of engagement with the community.

 Generally- there’s a lot lacking in the environment survivors find themselves in. There’s lack of support from family, friends and wider community, if not outright rejection. There’s a lack of accessible, specialist medical care. There’s a lack of safe housing and financial support.

 My impression is that a period of years is closer to reality for most people. But we’re talking about fiction and you can choose to make your world better then the one we inhabit.

 This kind of recovery isn’t linear. People do backtrack. Even people who are ‘better’ have bad days. Mostly- it’s about showing slow improvement over time and how frustrating slow improvement can be from the inside.

 I hope that helps. :)

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