cxoliveira

[cxoliveira]

I, unfortunately, received some devastatingly crushing news today that I’m having extreme trouble dealing with and coming to terms with. I may not be around much, if at all, today or for the next couple of days. If i am, I’m going to be quiet and just answering asks/doing starters/drafts because I need the distraction. I do not have the social or emotional/mental capacity to interact with everyone as I normally love to do right now. To be fair, I’m honestly hanging by a very thin thread right now. I’ve got some things to figure out and need time to deal with this painful blow and may need extra help in doing so that may take some time. For now, I’m completely gutted and at a loss. I’m sorry. I really am. Thank you for your patience. I love you guys. Be kind to yourselves.

[cxoliveira]

when the hell will my carlos muse come back from his several month long trip to moon's donuts???

like... you okay in there, buddy? did you get lost? were there not enough chocolate or maple creme filled longjohns for you? are you making the donuts yourself now? did you accidentally go to jim's crabs instead???

please text me back.

[cxoliveira]

though I have mained as carlos since i got the game when project w came out, it never sat entirely right with me how the one thing that was off about carlos was he was a lighter skin tone than he should have been.

much better now <3 lookit him. perfect bb

[cxoliveira]

good GOD i am stressed the fuck out.

since 8am, i have had 7 calls from the doctor's office and hospital regarding my surgery. first they tell me be there at 11am surgery at 1. then they call to confirm. then they call to check in. then they call to confirm no copay. then they call to give instructions.

somewhere in there my parents called, i find out they're sick and may or may not have covid, inspection comes to look at our apartment and stresses me the fuck out, and while i'm with the inspector i get another damn call and an email.

check the voicemail and email and... now they want me at the hospital at 630am with surgery around 8am. there's a damn winter storm warning for overnight until 1pm tomorrow. it's a 2-3 hour long surgery and i....

i have been so non-stop today with everything, cleaning, getting everything prepared etc that i legit forgot to eat until about 15 minutes ago. i have a headache. i want to cry.

i wanted to be here and to get all this shit done before surgery, but... right now until i calm down? not happening. i need to decompress and i am going to do that with some sims or something. i may be able to get to some shit over night because when i have surgery that early i typically do not sleep because my anxiety is shit.

if i do not get to things before surgery i am sorry and i promise as soon as i am able to wear glasses again and see and function? i will be back and doing things. until then? bear with me.

-J

[cxoliveira]

alright, friends, here's the situation.

i have errands to run tonight along with some chores i'll be doing in preparation during the day today. i have an appointment tomorrow morning and also mod my bestie's twitch stream in the evening. the rest of the time will be spent between doing stuff here, on leon, some on my re multi and maybe a bit on kevin or carlos. when i'm not here doing stuff i'll be busy panicking playing some video games to relax and get my mind off things.

on wednesday 01/25 i will be having surgery. i'll be okay, mostly. it's outpatient surgery, but one that's been many years overdue and is necessary for a lot of reasons.

what does this mean for my activity? so, wednesday i know i will be completely out of commission from the time i go into the hospital to discharge and the rest of the day/night. i don't yet know my surgery time, but i may have some time to do a thing or two before i go in if i'm not having an anxiety attack lol.

it also means that, unfortunately, i may be vastly unable to see much for at least a week. i have been told i may not be able to wear my glasses much if at all until maybe after my post op appointment. this sucks considering i am pretty much blind as shit without my glasses.

however, i won't know until after surgery where my tolerance will be. if i am able to and feeling up to it, i'll be on periodically. if i can't? i'll probably at least shoot a message onto my dashes, or have my wife, @inkribboned / @divinitatemadeptus post something to be like "yo! he lives!"

for now, i will try to get to as much as i possibly can before surgery and recovery take over.

thank you so much for your patience and understanding. <3 love you all!

-J

[cxoliveira]

Carlos disappointed, lying there with his massive bara tits out, wanting snuggles.

*Mad World intensifies*

*Tits bare, cold and forgotten*

[In reference to this post]

[cxoliveira]

[cxoliveira]

“Let’s go for a walk and look at Christmas lights!” from Ray nightlyvisitor

Christmas Starters - Still Accepting

Carlos hadn't exactly wanted to have company for the evening, but he went with it. He supposed, for the time being, maybe it was better than another night alone. He could at least entertain the idea, even if he wasn't that sure about the man that he knew was a BSAA agent. Apart from Jill, he eyed them all very skeptically and carefully.

"You know what? What the hell. Sure." He shoves his hands into the pockets of his coat, breathing in the cold air as he starts to walk. "There a reason you wanted to go on this walk or is this just something you're required to do with BSAA now?"

[cxoliveira]

my toxic trait is carelessly getting dressed in front of open windows because if someone wants to look in, that’s their problem

[cxoliveira]

Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

(this was somehow didn't get deleted when I wiped everything and I know it's from an old meme but what the hell why not answer it)

"Eye contact." He answers bluntly with a shrug. "That's when you at least know and feel you're connecting with another person on a deep level. Even if you're not in love or any of that shit... It's still that connection that can help you feel alive when you need it the most."

[cxoliveira]

I hate when people say “𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫”, because “𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫” means that you made it out.

                                𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅.

[cxoliveira]

"Look, we are just Mercenaries. Hired hands! Do you really think the master would tell his dogs why they have to retrieve the stick he just threw?"

[cxoliveira]

“You have sprinkles in your hair.”

Christmas Starters - Still Accepting

Carlos grins sheepishly before pursing his lips and blowing upward to get some of the disheveled hair out of his face. "Alright... I admit it. I may have had a few minor little mishaps while doing some holiday baking." He gestures with his head to the kitchen. "Come in. I'll get you some cookies. There's plenty."

[cxoliveira]

CHRISTMAS STARTERS

“Where has all the eggnog gone?”

“Do you want to decorate a ginger bread house with me?”

“The older I get, the more I understand the Grinch.”

“I bought matching Christmas pajamas for us!”

“I have wrapped like 200 presents and I am still not done.”

“I think the cat just ate some tinsel off the tree.”

“This is our first Christmas together and I want it to be special.”

“We can add a special ornament to the collection each year. This year’s is for our future baby.”

“Can you help me put the star on top of the tree?”

“What do you want for Christmas?”

“Is this an ugly Christmas sweater kind of party, or do I have to wear pants?”

“Everyone is drunk on rum and unwrapping the wrong presents.”

“If I have to bake one more cookie, I am going to scream.”

“You have sprinkles in your hair.”

“Did you know that candy canes don’t actually taste as magical as they look?”

“Let’s go for a walk and look at Christmas lights!”

“What did you get [ insert name ] for Christmas? I have no idea!”

“Is your family coming over for Christmas?”

“Can you help me set the table? The guests will be here soon.”

“It’s snowing on Christmas!”

“Can we make hot cocoa and watch a Christmas movie together?”

“Please hang up the stockings for the kids, so I can fill them.”

“Go ask mommy/daddy for a glass of milk for Santa.”

“You’re my best Christmas present this year.”

“I think the roast is burning in the oven and grandma is already drunk.”

“How about Christmas in a cabin in the mountains this year?”

“We should do a Secret Santa with the others!”

“TURN OFF THE RADIO, LAST CHRISTMAS IS PLAYING!”

“I’m Scrooge and I expect to be visited by a couple of ghosts tonight.”

“I’m glad we get to spend Christmas together this year.”

“No one should be alone on Christmas!”

[cxoliveira]

[cxoliveira]

I have decided to return. My activity will be spotty for a minute as I am recovering from hospitalization and emergency surgery. I have a procedure this coming Thursday and another surgery on Friday. I will be here when I can, but I am back.

The hard drive in my laptop completely bricked and I lost all of my graphics/icons etc. I can get some of them back from here, but I am going to be mostly iconless for a minute until I can start to get things back.

I have wiped my asks and my threads unless there are threads any of us had going on that you would like to keep -- please let me know by messaging me and linking me and I will get back to them!

I have also updated my rules on my carrd. The biggest update corresponds with why I went MIA and left for a while. See below:

I do not entertain DNIs nor do I deal with callout posts. I am an adult who has already done the whole high school thing. I do not need drama or stress in my life from something that is supposed to be my hobby and my escape. It is your responsibility to cultivate your own safe space and policing who you think people should or shouldn't follow has never sat right with me. If I have a problem with someone you interact with I will simply block them and blacklist them. If you have a problem with someone I am interacting with? Please, by all means, do the same.

Looking forward to writing again and being back! <3

[cxoliveira]

Hey so uh....

I have been debating and thinking about it and... I am giving serious thought to coming back... I considered starting a new blog or doing a full multi, but... My laptop bricked and my hard drive died and I lost all of my graphics and icons. Still pretty upset I lost everything but at least I have my laptop back with a new hard drive

I will keep thinking about this. I have a procedure on Thursday and surgery on Friday and I am still recovering from a hospital stay and emergency surgery before Thanksgiving so I’ll be slow to come back.