#all I see is some skinny girls with thigh gaps

[byuteablanc]

Modern Aesthetics

Another one of my think pieces, it’s not as long. It’s more of a complaint this time but we’ll crafted. TW for body insecurity, I guess

I’ll never get over how the aesthetics I try to fit into and dress like, are some densely populated by those way more skinny than me. No offense to these people, but it almost feels like subliminal messaging.

“To get like us, get smaller! Then you’ll be truly “aesthetic”

It doesn’t help that I’m black either, having to search up anything and add black girl at the end but add midsize too?

It almost like subliminal messaging to me. When I see smaller bodies I think about how good they look in the style I wanna replicate, but I will never replicate it to a T. I will always fall short of fitting in.

In conclusion, fuck outfit inspo, you make me insecure /nsrs

[yeonzzzn]

hi! im new here so i dont really know how this works… im so in love with your writing so i’d like to ask whether or not you’d be open for writing about bf!jake fucking you from behind while you wear his jersey. smth like you were wearing his soccer jersey and turned him on. hehe thankyou! :3

I actually LIVE for requests like this. I already know jake loves seeing you wear his clothes, it turns him on so bad. but seeing you in his soccer jersey?? oh LAWD. it would drive him insane.

he would be having a soccer game later that night, and what better way to support him than wearing one of his extra jerseys? you’d surprise him by standing on the bleachers, hair pulled back into a ponytail with your favorite pair of ripped skinny jeans that jake also loves oh so much because of the way they hug your thighs and ass. he’d see you standing there, looking all cute, with his jersey on…boy would be hard immediately. not being able to think straight. only the thoughts of bending you over literally any surface and fucking you into oblivion.

the minute the game would be over he’s rushing you both back to your shared apartment, wasting no time after the door was closed to pin you against the wall, lips on yours and tongue down your throat. “seeing you in my jersey is such a turn on, baby, fuck you’re so hot,” he moans against your lips, hands fumbling with the button of your jeans and sliding the fabric down along with your pretty red panties down your legs.

jake picks you up in his arms, guiding you to the edge of the couch, setting you down and flipping you around, face pushed into the cushions as your dripping wet cunt is exposed to him. oh you’d be a sight to see. jake is DROOLING at you bent over so pretty for him with his jersey on. not wanting to waste another second, his soccer shorts and boxers are off and thrown some else into the living room, his hard cock so red and angry and pulsing with need to feel you wrapped around him.

he pushes into you with much need and want but slowly. slowly pulling himself out to his tip, then pushing back in. but the moment his hips meet the plush of your ass, his hands are gripping your hips and slamming you down onto him. you release a loud, wet moan, “jaeeeee,” you moaned his name and making his grip on your hips tighter as he fucks into you.

jake would start to lose himself in the pleasure, head spinning from how fucking good you feel. his eyes would lock onto your face, seeing the way your mouth is gapped open chanting his name like it’s the only word you know. and then there’s his jersey, it would be bunched at your waist, his number barely being able to made out but his last name sat perfectly in place, resting up below your neck.

he reaches down and places his hand on the back of your neck, fucking into harder and a faster pace, eyes locked onto “SIM” and ears focusing on your breathing and moans. “Fuck, baby,” he groans, “you look so fucking good in my jersey, seeing my last name spread on the back. letting everyone know at that game that’s you’re mine, fuck it’s so sexy, you’re so sexy. so good for taking me like this.”

his words combined with the way he fucked into you had you seeing stars, your release washing over you in one swift motion. jake’s head is now hung low, seeing the ring of your cum wrapped around his cock, making him twitch and moan at the sight, his own climax being reached, filling you whole with his seed.

“wear my jersey more often baby girl,” he whispered, “I love fucking you in it.”

[blorbocedes]

BROCEDES! ROOMMATE AU + UNEXPECTED VIRGIN!

‘Take a shot if your body count is more than 5!’

Most of the crowd drinks, even those with obviously shifty eyes and guilty demeanours. Lewis drinks.

He was coursemates with Adrian the previous semester and had to hear his bitching and moaning about the bitches he gets – the lack thereof, spots him drinking too. Nico’s standing at the end of the couch, expensive loafers careful to step around the sticky spilled beer.

He nurses his red solo cup, untouched. Lewis frowns.

‘Take a shot if your body count is double digits!’

Fewer people drink this time. The crowd goes ‘ooh’ at the ones who do. Technically, Lewis’ is 7 – 8 if you count the blowjob and her getting her period at the last second, opting out. But college athletes have a reputation to maintain, so Lewis finishes off his cup.

This time, Nico is watching him. Smiles when their eyes meet and does a mock salute, lips still not grazing his drink.

What the fuck? What could it be? It bothers Lewis that Nico’s not being honest. He's seen Nico half-lidded hanging off some guy’s arm at a party or cuddled into some girl to know better. Although, since Nico has access to all the population instead of 50%, it would make sense if his count is twice as high.

A pretty girl in a low cut top and blonde highlights taps Lewis on the arm to dance with her, and all thoughts of his roommate and how many people he fucks are forgotten.

A few hours later, the party has died down. Cold pizza and the music is less in-your-face, more indie. A small group gather on the floor playing the laziest truth or dare with a half empty bottle of Bacardi. The guy beside Nico is in an obnoxious leather jacket and tight pants, and his hand rests on Nico’s thigh.

It falls on Lewis.

“So… Lew-iss,” Natalie? maybe asks, voice slurring a little. “Do you remember when you first met Nico?”

Nico raises an interested eyebrow. Of course he remembers. However, Lewis is aware they asked the question because people think him and Nico are secretly hooking up because they live together, and since Nico’s seen with everyone. His teammate Felipe and his girlfriend are within earshot.

“Nah, man. I don't remember shit like that. I remember when I like, lost my virginity.” Lewis offers as bait.

Nico frowns, it's cute on him. Brows wrinkled up.

Naomi(!) bites. “Tell us about how you lost your virginity.”

“That's two questions.” Lewis leans back, flashing his most charming gap-toothed smile. Everyone's too drunk to keep track of whose turn it is.

Nico disappears off with Mr. Skinny Jeans.

It's a little while later when Lewis has smoked a spliff to clear his head, rejecting the blonde highlights girl’s offer back to her dorms which is on the other side of campus, when Nico returns, hair mussed and shirt buttoned more than it was when he left.

“Home?” He asks. Lewis follows.

Nico’s a pretty chill roommate. He grew up with a silver spoon and an only child, so he has no concept of sharing. Instead, when he orders Thai, he makes sure to order for two so that Lewis doesn't try to eat any of his dumplings. Lewis gets to have the flat to himself a lot since Nico disappears for the night, returns at early hours of the night with glitter on his cheek or bite marks on his neck and a cheeky smile before collapsing on the couch. Lewis can't complain, it makes bringing girls over easier. And when Nico is studying, he keeps to himself. Lewis will know, because there will be an extra coffee for him. In turn, Lewis gets rids of the bugs in the flat – the first time Nico seeing a cockroach asking if they should call pest control or sue their landlord for unhygienic living conditions.

“Why didn't you drink? At the body count question?” Lewis asks, breaking the amiable silence of their walk home, and the lack of filter signalling he was drunker than he thought.

Nico hums thoughtfully. “Cause that would be a lie?”

Lewis tries to make sense of that, doing math in his head. “No…? It wasn't about the exact number, just if it's more than.”

“Yeah,” Nico smiles, unlocking the door and stepping side. “That would be a lie.”

Lewis rolls his eyes. Nico and his riddles and his games. “It would only be a lie if you're a virgin. Which you're not.” He snorts at the thought.

Nico’s eyes flash dangerously. “Yeah?” Nico turns around, effectively trapping Lewis between the door. “You think about who gets in my pants a lot, Hamilton?”

Lewis feels a flush rise in his neck. Thank god for melanin, if he were Nico he'd have two giant red spots on his cheek right now.

“I don't care who you sleep with. Or don't sleep with.” Lewis tries to go for gruff, chill, but it doesn't quite land. He gets out of Nico’s cornering, going to the couch. “It's just weird you’d lie considering Jenson–”

“Oh if Jenson said it, it must be true.” Nico’s sarcasm is shrill and annoyed, betraying how drunk he is.

It does make Lewis pause. Jenson has a habit of embellishing stories of his conquests. The fated twins threesome never happened, he had separately hooked up with twins. Lewis remembers Jenson bragging in the locker room how he rocked Britney’s world and Lewis had worn his his shin guards with a little more force than necessary.

“Rock my world?” Nico rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Hardly. We made out for forty minutes until he came in his pants.”

TMI because now Lewis is inundated of images of Nico, mouth swollen and bodies entangled while fully clothed.

“So you're actually a virgin? What about all those people?” Lewis is still trying to wrap his head around it. Nico is the most sexual person he knows. He eats yoghurt off the spoon distractingly, and has no shame walking around the apartment naked. Very sexual liberation chic, and Lewis had to draw up boxers boundaries.

Nico wrinkles his nose. “So you get with the easiest lay on campus and you're the only person he won't fuck. Do you want to admit something's weird and wrong with you, or do you just go about inferring you had sex? It's not like I'm going to correct them.” He must see something on Lewis’ face because he interjects, defensively offensive, “Don't ask why it's better to have a reputation. I know your tells. You drank twice.”

Lewis chooses his words carefully, gentle like he's not trying to spook a wild cat. “I'm not judging. I'm just surprised. Nobody figured it out?”

Nico softens at the tone. He sinks on the couch beside Lewis. “Honestly, you're the first person to notice.”

Lewis finds that sad. “Hey, we don't need to talk about this if it's a sensitive topic. I'm sorry I –”

“Jeez, Lewis. I don't have trauma, I'm just frigid. A pricktease. Nothing bad ever happens to a Rosberg.” Nico works on the complicated laces of his boots. He hates being pitied.

Lewis leans over. “It's really not all that cracked up to be. The first time, at least. Cause you're bad at it and you don't know how to pace yourself. Lots of people wait until they're ready. My first time, it was this girl I was seeing after GCSEs. We couldn't find a place so we got in my dad’s old Subaru. Lasted like 30 seconds. Wiped the whole place down but I was convinced he would know somehow. Come Sunday, I went and told him. He hadn’t the slightest clue. So that was an awkward drive to church.”

Nico gawks him, crumpling into himself laughing. Lewis regrets being a vulnerable and oversharer of a drunk. Nico’s gelled hair has come undone from hours of partying and falls over his eyes. Lewis is never going to open up to anyone ever again.

“On God's day, Lewis?! And you think I should save myself until marriage? Find myself a nice, righteous wife?”

“Someone you trust. Someone you're into.” The room spins a little. Nico Rosberg is a virgin.

“Someone who’d remember when we first met?” Nico challenges. "That's not very nice, is it? I can't believe you forgot--"

“You were checking out an encyclopaedia on space at the library. I wanted the Senna autobiography. We were 12.”

Nico’s eyes go wide. Lewis holds his gaze.

[horrificshit]

Limits.

Dom!Lou miller x Sub!Reader

Warning(s): Smut, dumbification, strap on?, daddy kink, age gap

A/N: I decided to write this in a first person point-of-view. Why? Don’t ask me.

Words: 1.8k

Ding!

The sound of my phone going off. Curiosity peaks, I pick up my phone, revealing who messaged me:

Incoming message from Lou💕:

Lou💕: “Hey baby, I’m out doing some errands, can you be dressed by the time I’m home?”

Oh? Why does she want me dressed? Maybe we’re going somewhere fancy? Surely not.. Surprisingly, going to places which require dressing up for are a rare occurrence.

I shoot a text back, giving a response to Lou’s message.

You: “Okay! Should I dress fancy?”

Lou💕: “Yes, you’ll see why once I’m home 😉”

I get up from my once cave-like spot in the king size bed, giving up the warmth of the bedsheets. The room is quite cold due to the crispness of the winter weather in late January.

Speed walking to the closet, I sift through a number of dresses; all of different colors, lengths, patterns, and materials.

a long sleeve dress was obviously the ethical choice given the weather, but a short, skintight dress seemed more ethical in my opinion. Who cares about being cold when id feel like the sexiest girl in the room?

My eyes land on a white satin dress. I don’t think I’ve ever worn this one. Where did I get it again? Maybe from high school prom.

Bleh. Prom. I always hated prom. And evidently, I only went that one time. Brian Richards, the boy I went with, he ended up being a huge duche.

Whatever.

I slip on the dress, and— oh my god. I could literally fuck myself. The dress, it hugs all my curves in all the right places. My collar bones stick out and I find that extremely sexy, and hopefully Lou will think the same.

Shoes.

Grab a pair of white heels. Not to tall, not too short.

My jewelry is dainty. a gold necklace with a small heart. So small in-fact, you can hardly see it. Large gold pearl earrings accompany the necklace.

I trot over to my vanity, gathering a few products: primer, concealer, blush, highlighter, mascara, and lipgloss. Simple, yet bold.

My hair lies in a simple half-up-half-down with, of course, a white bow in the back.

And, just as I get finished, I hear that familiar ding of my phone, notifying me that Lou must be here for me. I check my phone, and to my expectation, I see an incoming message from the older woman.

Incoming message from Lou💕:

Lou💕: “I’m here. Take your time, the reservation isn’t until 6:30.”

Smiling, I put my phone down and take a look in the mirror. Hopefully she likes it as much as I do.

I grab my small brown purse and take yet another look in the mirror, giving one last check before going out the door to greet my girlfriend.

Overall outfit:

I walk toward Lou’s sports car, the cold nipping me in the butt. Literally and figuratively. I sort of regret wearing a sleeveless dress, but whatever, I look amazing.

Lou unlocks the car door, and I enter the vehicle. She looks like she’d seen a ghost from how she was looking at me. Did I look that good?

Her eyes rake up my entire body, stopping at my lips. I smile, flattered and proud of myself that I indeed, do look that good.

“Where are we going?” I inquire, still having not been told why I had to get all dolled up. “Somewhere fancy.” Chuckles Lou, already having naughty thoughts.

She takes the initiative to reach her hand over and grasp onto my thigh. I squeak, not being prepared for her to touch me, but relax a few seconds later.

Some time goes by and I decide to take in what Lou herself is wearing:

She wears a black turtleneck top, a black leather jacket atop. Black skinny jeans, the type that hug her curves, or in reality, her ass, in the most perfect way.

In correlation with the rest of her outfit, she wears black heeled boots. And of course, in typical Lou fashion, her plethora of necklaces lay on top of her chest.

The car stops, and the older woman squeezes my thigh, silently letting me know she’s going to let go, and that we’ve arrived at the final destination.

“We’re here,” Lou says with a smirk. I look up and see a restaurant with a name I cannot even pronounce. At least without stuttering that is. The restaurant looked exclusive; like we weren’t allowed in. But, according to my girlfriend, we are.

We both get out of the car, and I immediately am reminded of how cold it is outside. Lou takes notice of my shivering, and ushers me inside of the restaurant.

The girl in the front greets Lou and I. “Hello, welcome to Novitá, do you have a reservation?”

Lou grabs her phone, pulling up a digital receipt. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but the world changes everyday, I suppose.

“Here,” Lou shows the girl the receipt, looking back at me with a smile.

“If it doesn’t work, my reservation should be under the name Lou Miller.”

She types in her name and smiles back, grabbing two menus. “This way,” we’re leaded to our table, which Lou previously reserved days before.

We both order our drinks, champagne for myself, whilst Lou opts for an ‘old fashioned’, or in other words, whiskey, sugar, and water.

She obviously has a stronger tolerance to alcohol than I do, because I could never handle the extreme burn of whiskey going down my throat. Other things maybe, but definitely not that.

The drinks arrive, and the girl from before, who, upon reading her name tag, appears to be Arabella.

She takes our orders, and apologizes for any delays, the restaurant appears to be quite busy. I look around and take note of the ‘noble looking’ people surrounding the table we’re sat at. We don’t look nearly as rich as them.

“Y/N? What do you want to order?” I’m snapped out of my trance by Lou and brought back into reality. I look at her, and back down at the menu that rests in my hands. ‘Gnocchi di Patate’. That sounds delicious. But wait, $34.99?? How is she getting all of this money?

I open my mouth after some time and tell the waitress what I want. She writes it down, and tells us it may be a while, and to enjoy our drinks.

“So,” Lou starts. She rubs her foot up my leg, making me squirm slightly at the feeling. “I thought you deserved a treat for being such a good girl.”

I look into her eyes. Completely blown out. I can’t help but the small smirk on my face, knowing all to well how this will end: with me bent over,screaming her name, her hand muffling the noise.

“Are you not gonna say anything? Daddy paid a lot of money for this, I think I deserve to at least hear your voice.” I look down, not being able to carry out the eye contact. She continues to rub my leg underneath the table. Good thing there’s a satin mat, covering the whole length of the table, down to the floor.

“I-“ words weren’t an option at this point. My mind is far too small at the moment to even comprehend anything else but the husky voice of the older woman across from me.

“What? Cats got your tongue?,” She starts, staring at me like she’s the predator and I’m her delicious little prey.

“,or are you just too dumb to use your words?” Continues Lou, sending me into a serene headspace. My mind is completely blank, besides the vision of the woman across from me.

TIME SKIP

We finish up with our food, no words being exchanged between Lou and I. Just her speaking to me. Telling me that she thinks I’m beautiful, though some ways more appropriate than others.

The check arrives and she pulls out her platinum card, swiping it. I can’t help but feel bad that she spent that much on me, between the cost of my drink, and the food.

“You ready?” She inquired.

“Mhm.”

I appear to be shy, but in reality, I’m extremely horny. She’s been teasing me all night, and I just know that there’s more in store. If not at home, she’s likely to get impatient and do her business in the car.

Buckling into the car seat, she revs up the engine. I look up at her, smiling innocently with my signature doe eyes. Unlike my own, her eyes are completely blown out. She’s more that ready to pounce when given the chance. Pounce being her having her way with me; not that I’d have a problem with that.

Lou’s hand once again finds its spot on my thigh, where it remains for the duration of the car ride, occasionally feeling a squeeze every now and then.

“I really don’t like how quiet you’re being,” Lou confronts, the once silent car ride no longer.

“What’s wrong?”

Silence.

I just can’t get any words out. Even if I were to try, the only thing that’ll come out is a string of whimpers and sounds. Words just aren’t an option at this moment.

Then, the whirring of the car’s engine stops, Her key taken out of the fob. Lou turns to me, hands still on my body.

“Baby. Did I do something? Daddy would feel terrible if she hurt her baby.” Her hands wander up my legs, stopping at the end of my dress.

Soft hands caress my calf, smiling as she knows what she’s doing.

“Lou.. not in the car…” I say in an extremely small voice, the headspace Lou has created for me completely taking over my mind.

“Fine,” she opens the car door, walking to my side, opening the door for me. “Inside. I want you on the bed, stripped.” The older woman said in her husky voice.

Once we made it up to her apartment, she unlocked the door, and I made a b-line to the bedroom.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I slip off my dress and take off my shoes, revealing a matching white lingerie set:

Climbing on top of Lou’s bed, I wait patiently for her return.

“I guess you are a good girl then,” Lou says, the door slowly creeping open. “, and I see you’re wearing my present.”

Lou bought me this set a while back to celebrate her and Debbie’s successful heist. I’ve never been a huge fan of her job, but she enjoys it, so I can’t see a problem with that.

Slow steps, excruciatingly slow, inch their way toward me. “Nothing to say, huh?” Now crawling on top of me, I can’t help but let out a small whine.

Lou chuckles at my pathetic sound, enjoying the power she has against me and my body.

“You know,” The older woman starts, huskily. “I wish I could get you to tell me what’s up.”I want to speak; say something, anything, but I know the only thing that would come out is my silent pleas, and a string of cries.

She scoffs at my silence. My eyes are burning from the tears that threaten to fall, my mind and body so sexually frustrated. “I suppose we’re going to have to do this the hard way.”

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

what was the first/first few things you manifested and how?

Hello!

Things i manifested before loa and After loa:

Before loa (i just knew about subliminals and Law of attraction):

: ̗̀➛ Well the first thing i manifested was changing my eye color it went from Brown eyes to light Brown but you Can even See some green color In my eyes even my Friends started noticing them without even getting closer to my face and i Always get compliment from that even when my eyes is exposed in the Sun they be like "woah! I didn't know that your eyes were beautiful like that! They have a clear color!" And i manifested them with subliminal back when i discovered them.

: ̗̀➛ The second thing was This one you Can check it and read it.

After loa (Law of assumption):

: ̗̀➛ my thigh gap, girl i didn't even have a thigh gap and i manifested it and i do still have it. (With subliminal).

: ̗̀➛ food and drinks that i wanted.

: ̗̀➛ having the same grade i wanted in my report card (when i say i was shocked girl when the math teacher gave us our papers i got like 12/20 but when i checked my report card it was 15/20 i was so shocked and let me tell you that my math teacher never and when i mean never give extra credit or did a mistake so that was really surprising) and all i did is affirm and persist, (I was at that Time 14).

: ̗̀➛ micron ink Pen (girl that was my dreammm 😭 since i am an artist i wanted them so Bad and i manifested that my aunt will get them for me and she did but not just one but TWO!) here's proof:

: ̗̀➛ i manifested my lips just to be a little bit plumpier since my lips are thin and i just listened to a subliminal and affirmed for little and i got them.

: ̗̀➛ a phone for myself (girl i was so jealous that everybody in my age (i was 15 at that Time) was having a phone and i didn't even have one and plus i Always got Amazing grades so i was really tired of it and i manifested a phone but it wasn't the brand i wanted but anyways i got a phone at least ☺️).

: ̗̀➛ maintaining my weight ( i was working out and the problem is if i ate just a little i'll gain weight quickly so what i did? I just decided that no matter what i eat my weight will still the same and GIRL when i tell you i ate so many things like burgers, sandwiches, pizza, ice cream, and when i went to the fitness my coach told me to check my weight and it stayed the same!!).

: ̗̀➛ so this month i manifested my thigh to be thin, it was when i woke up to get ready to school so when i wore my jeans it seemed so tight i was like "omg don't tell me i gained weight 🥲" so i quickly started affirming "OMG look at my legs they are thin and skinny they look so perfect! I have such perfect thin thighs" and when i tell you the moment i started affirming i felt my jeans started loosing in! And i looked in the mirror and they seemed thin then a second Ago ! Hooray!.

: ̗̀➛ my favorite app to release New features that i wanted (if yall are wondering what the app is, it is character AI).

: ̗̀➛ shifting to random realities ( if you're interested in the story you Can check my masterlist).

: ̗̀➛ making some teachers being absent.

: ̗̀➛ money (you Can check it here).

: ̗̀➛ some Big amount of money appearing out of thin air in my mom's bank account.

: ̗̀➛ making my male classmate to smile at me (well that was last year and he was the hottest in our class and one night before sleeping i Always imagined him smiling at me and After 2-3 days he fucking smiled at me ! I just wanted him to just open up to me since he's shy, i really wanted him to be my friend 😭).

: ̗̀➛ i manifested a change in my classes memory and even the teacher (so the french teacher told us to do a writting expression about a topic as a homework and we'll read it in front of the class and when the Times came everyone Read their writting expression but i didn't sense i was shy and didn't have the courage to do it so i started imagining myself do it, then the semester came to an end and my mom decided to see the french teacher, when she talked to mom she said "oh yeah your daughter read her writting expression and it was so good and everyone clapped their hands for her" when mom told me what the teacher told her I was shocked i couldn't believe what i just Heard but anyways at least i changed her memory😏✌🏻).

So yeah that was it, i actually manifested so many things but i can't really remember them, i Hope this motivated you (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡.

Love ya! 💗.

Xoxo, Eli

[de4thbycre4tion]

I feel like the only character we see being depicted as having an ed in the Marauders fandom is Regulus (and sometimes Sirius) because of the way they were raised, but the girls are never struggling with it. Which is completely irrealistic, since girls are very very often the victims of eds (not saying that men are never affected by them, but it's less often).

I have an eating disorder myself, I've had both binge eating disorder and anorexia (currently recovering from the latter) and it just makes so much sense to me for girls to have/have had an ed.

Writing eating disorders can be very complicated, especially if you've never had one, but even if you have, capturing the complete obsession that food becomes through words can be very hard, but I'm still disappointed that I've never read a single fic in which it's even mentionned. I get that it's a sensitive subject, but like... Not even a single hint at it is very disappointing to me

Here's some of my fav hcs:

I've always pictured Lily as having binge eating disorder, I can see so much of me in her, (craving academic validation, overworking herself, feeling like a burden, sibling issues, etc) and to me she binges as a form of comfort, whenever she feels sad or angry or just a little down she binges on anything she can find. She binges until she feels sick and sometimes throw up because her stomach just can't take it. She always feels guilty and always tells herself she'll stop but always comes back to it all throughout her (sadly short) life.

For Mary, I feel like her family has always taught her to love her body and that size doesn't matter but she still fell in the trap of anorexia in her teenage years (another thing I can relate to lol) and she feels so bad for telling people to just accept themselves and eat as much as they need when she herself starves herself and hates her body. She cries over not having a thigh gap and oversexualise herself to get compliments because let's be honest, when you have anorexia you live off of other's perception of you. She feels validated and happy when people tell her she looks worrying.

Marlene, to me, does have a weird relatonship with her body, but she never had an ed. She plays quidditch regularly and has a pretty fast metabolism, so she's naturally skinny compared to Lily or Mary, so weight isn't a problem to her. Her biggest problem is that she has the biggest case of body disphmorphia. If she closes her eyes she couldn't picture herself in her mind even if she tried. She's always wearing oversized clothes and avoiding mirrors because looking at her own body is confusing, if not even scary to her. She doesn't have a clue what she looks like and she hates when people comment on her looks, positively or negatively.

This is getting long so I'll stop here but part 2 about the Black sister is here!

[arvandus]

Closet Space - Mammon x F!Reader

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!

This is a birthday gift for @silverrings-n-prettythings (happy birthday, you fabulous bitch!) and takes place during the OM! 2023 Halloween event (loosely based, creative license was very much utilized...).  Also, disclaimer that I have NOT completed the original game yet (I’m on Chapter 29).  Therefore, discrepancies may abound.

Content warnings:  18+ NSFW content; fem!reader, female!reader; reader is dressed as a sexy nun (for the birthday girl 💚); oral (f receiving), fingering, finger sucking; reader gets lifted up, held, and carried by Mammon (he’s a demon, okay?); rough(ish) sex; some dirty talk; the L-word is dropped cuz this man is canonically a simp.

“RUNNNN!!!”

You stared wide-eyed as Mammon ran full speed at you.  He closed the distance within seconds and before you could even respond, he grabbed your hand and started pulling you with him.

And just in time, too; behind him was a mummy in hot pursuit, its eyes gleaming red, its crooked fingers outstretched and leathery mouth gaping.

You instantly fell into step next to him, your hands still linked, the high heels of your knee-high black boots clicking on the floor.

“What the hell happened?!” you demanded.

“I don’t know!” he replied.  “We were all working at the café, and suddenly they all went apeshit!”

You struggled to stay level-headed, especially considering Mammon was the one who was so scared of monsters.  But you couldn’t help the fear that tightened your spine and sharpened your senses.  The short, tight dress of your sexy nun costume threatened to hike up dangerously high as you tried to hold it down with a free hand, and your boots were killing your toes as you prayed you wouldn’t twist an ankle.  This was not the outfit you should be wearing while getting chased by a monster.

Mammon glanced down at your feet, his cheeks flushed. “How the hell can you run in those?!”

“I can’t!” you retorted.

You knew you were slowing him down, and you glanced back to see the mummy was quickly closing the distance.

“Mammoooonnnn!!!” you warned.

He glanced back and yelped, the mummy’s reaching hands inches from your backs.

“C’mon, slowpoke!” he yelled.

He yanked your hand, making you lose your balance and fall into him.  In a matter of seconds, he scooped you up in his arms and burst into a full run down the deserted hall of RAD.  The mummy behind you roared in anger, and you stared with wide eyes as the gap between you began to widen.

Mammon turned the corner and entered the main hall where the double staircase twisted up to the second floor, the black iron balcony high above.

“Hold on!” he ordered.

“What??”

Suddenly you were flying, buoyant in the air.  Or at least it felt that way, with the way the floor shrank beneath you. You watched as your nun’s hat blew off the top of your head and drifted down, down below you.  You yelped and clung to his neck, burying your face into his shoulder.

It was brief, lasting mere seconds, then suddenly you felt the impact of his boots against something hard.  You opened your eyes just in time to see his thin bat wings fold and vanish, his demon form once again tucked away. You looked down and realized he was perched on the balcony railing like a bird of prey.

“Wait, did you just fly?” you asked.

“With these skinny ass wings?? Nah, I jumped. The wings helped with balance and gliding.” Mammon replied as he hopped down with you cradled in his arms.

He set you down, his hand once again holding yours tightly.  “Demon, remember?”

“Like I ever forget,” you teased.

You both looked down below to see the mummy had made its way to the base of the stairs.

“Damn, he’s persistent...” you commented.

“Shit, shit, shit, let’s go!”

And then you were running again, but apparently not fast enough for Mammon, because he once again scooped you up in his arms, his hands hot against your bare thighs.

As he ran, his face lit up. “I have an idea.”

“NO,” you said immediately.

But he didn’t listen.  He bolted with purpose down the hall until he reached the double doors of the cafeteria.  He kicked his way through and made his way to the kitchens as you watched the double doors swing back and forth behind you.  It was dark, the cafeteria closed for the evening.  But even so, the doors were loud, and it took them forever to stop their swinging.

“Where the hell are you going??” you demanded.  “Those doors don’t even lock! He’s just gonna follow us!”

“Quit yer yappin’!” he scoffed as he pushed past another door.  He was in the kitchens now, rows and rows of counters, ovens, and stoves surrounding you. The only light in the space was the furnaces still burning low, keeping the coals hot for tomorrow’s breakfast.  It cast an eerie muted warm glow throughout the room.

You looked at where he was going, and then you realized.

“The pantry?! Seriously?!”

But before you could stop him, he opened the door and stuffed the two of you inside.

It was pitch black, and you both stumbled against each other.  Your hands reached out and found all four walls easily within a half a step’s distance.

“What?? What is this? Why is this pantry so small??” You asked.

“It connects to the larger storage room, but they lock it up with magic because they know Beel would clean it out if they didn’t,” Mammon muttered.  “There’s like... ten of these and they call connect to the same room.”

He was close to you, really close. Close enough to feel his warm breath against your hair.  Your hand found his chest, your fingers brushing against the fabric wraps of his mummy costume that he wore. You heard him inhale sharply at the contact.

“Hey—” he started.

But his words were cut short by the sound of a deep bellowing howl.  The mummy had finally reached the top of the stairs.

You both froze.

“Mammon... does this pantry door lock from the inside?” you asked around a tight throat as you began to fumble for some sort of latch.  “Like to keep Beel out?”

“Don’tcha worry.  I worked in the kitchens before to pay off some debt and learned the spell to get in the storage room.  Once we’re in, the magic will hide it again. I just gotta say the incantation.”

“Well, get to it then!” you whispered harshly.

“Yeah, yeah! Don’t rush me!” he snipped back.  “Okay, okay.... let’s see...”

He muttered the words, and you waited. And waited. The magic pulled, shuddered.

Nothing happened.

“Well that did a whole lotta nothing,” you commented dryly.

“Shaddup! Lemme try again.” He muttered the incantation again, his voice a little louder, a little firmer, his palms pressed against the shelves.

Again, nothing happened.

“What?? I don’t understand! Why isn’t it working??” he said.

“Mammon, are you sure you even remember the spell correctly?” you replied.

“Tch, of course I do!” he replied, his voice rich with indignation.

“Is it possible that they changed it?  Like changing a password or something?”

“Wait... hang on a sec...” he muttered.  You felt him moving next to you, his arms outstretched, and you could feel his hands touching the objects on the shelves. It was the sound of glassware clinking, bags rustling.  It was nearly pitch black, and you didn’t dare turn on the light, lest it shine beneath the door and give away your hiding place.

Mammon’s hand bumped something, and it fell to the floor with a loud, shattering crash.  You both flinched against the noise and waited with bated breath as you both listened.  A moment later, the unmistakable sound of a monstrous growl and the double doors slamming open resounded, and you both jumped.

Your breaths were coming in faster now.  “It’s here....” you whispered.  You clutched the sleeve of his jacket in a death grip.  “Mammon!”

The scent of spices began to hit your nose, drifting up from the broken container at your feet.

“Wait... “he muttered. He bent down and touched the powder with his fingers and sniffed.  “No...”  He stood up and opened another container and sniffed it, and then other.  “Shit! No, no, noooo....” he muttered.  He laid his head against the closed door.  “This is the wrong one.”

You felt the blood drain from your face.  “What?”

“It’s the wrong pantry! This one is just spices!”

“So?? What does that even mean?”

“It means it’s not connected to the storage room!”

“Why the hell not??”

“I don’t know, that’s just how they designed it! Ask Barbatos, he probably knows!”

“Mammon!!!” you whispered harshly.

“Hey, it’s not my fault!” he protested.

“Yes, it is!!”

“No, it’s not! I was distracted!”

“By what??”

“By the damn mummy chasing us!” he retorted.  “And you, dressed like that...”

You did a double take.  “Excuse me??”

The sound of something hard scraping against the cafeteria floor snagged both of your attention.

“Why did you have to be a sexy nun?? With that tight dress, and those boots...” Mammon muttered to himself.  “It’s okay, it’s okay... we just gotta think of... something.” Mammon let out an excited gasp.  “Hey! You’re an apprentice now, right?? You know any good spells?”

Your brain was still stuck on the ‘sexy nun’ comment.  Another scrape of noise, the sound of one of the cafeteria tables being bumped, regained your focus.

“Me?? What about you?? You’re thousands of years older than me!!”

“Yeah, do you think I’m spending all that precious time staring at spell books when I can be out there earning cold hard Grimm??”

“Ugh,” you groaned.

Another scrape, closer this time, followed by the sound of one of the stacked chairs clattering to the ground. Mammon’s arms were around your waist in an instant, holding you tight against him.

“Shit, shit, shit... hurry!” he whispered into your ear.

“Okay, okay, just... shut up and let me focus,” you muttered.

His hands released you, and you felt along the edges of the door, tested the shape of the door handle.  A binding spell, or a weaving spell? Which would be better?

“Okay, I think I got it...” you whispered.

You placed your hands on the door and began to chant.  As you chanted, your hands began to move, following the seams and leaving a trail of faint, pale light before vanishing like ripples on a pond.  You did the doorknob last, weaving the binding spell thick and taut.

“That should do it.”

The door to the kitchen banged open and you both jumped.  Mammon yelped, and you covered his mouth with your hand.  Once he was quiet, you removed your hand and you both waited and listened.

One, two....

Three.

Then you heard it.  The sound of scraping, dragging footsteps and raspy breath. It was getting closer, closer...

Your heart was pounding wildly in your chest, your palms sweating.

But it was Mammon who was really starting to lose it.

“No, no, no, no.... he’s gonna find us!” he whispered.

“Mammon!” you whispered back.

You heard a loud bang, the sound of a door being thrown open. Then the shuffling of footsteps, and another bang.  The mummy was checking all of the closed doors.

“No, it’s too late! He’s gonna find us! I’m too young to diiieeee,” he whimpered.

You could feel your eyes roll into the back of your head.  “You’re a demon! You’re not gonna die!”

But he didn’t hear you; his breaths were coming heavy and fast now, and your frustration was starting to morph into genuine concern.

“Mammon...” you tried again, your hand against his chest.

You could feel the movement of his body, could tell he was shaking his head in the darkness.  You covered his mouth with your hand just as the shuffling footsteps stopped right outside the door.  Then you heard it.  The jiggling of the doorknob.

It didn’t open. Your spell held, the knob giving off a faint glow as the magic activated.  With it, you caught a glimpse of Mammon’s terrified eyes as he stared at the door. The dim light faded as soon as the hand released the knob on the other side, once again plunging you into darkness.

It happened again, the shaking of the knob harder this time. But again, the magic held, the light shining slightly brighter than before.  Mammon whimpered against your palm, his arms finding your waist again as he clung to you.

“Mammon, pleeeease...” you begged in the faintest whisper against his ear.

The light dimmed again.  There was a long pause.  Just when you thought the mummy had left, a loud series of bangs resounded against the sealed door.  The edges glowed, the framing illuminating the small pantry space.  Mammon yelped into your palm, and your heart nearly tore out of your chest with how quickly it was pounding.

If the mummy heard him... if he learned that you were both in here...

You had to shut Mammon up.  You had to distract him.

You grabbed the thick collars of his jacket and yanked him down into a kiss.

His mouth crashed against yours, lips warm.  He froze, eyes wide in the darkness, lit against the pale glow as the mummy tried to the doorknob one more time.

The doorknob stopped jiggling and the light disappeared, once again plunging you into darkness.  One breath, two, you counted as you kept Mammon’s lips pressed against yours.  Just as he began to overcome his shock and wrap his arms around you, you heard the shuffling of the monster’s feet as he trudged away.  You pulled away, your body hot and sensitive.

You waited a couple more minutes with your ear to the door before finally braving a whisper.  “I... I think he’s gone... maybe he went to go find someone else?”

Mammon was uncharacteristically quiet.  You cast a lighting spell, and a small orb of orange light lit up the small pantry.  You tossed it up gently and it floated over your heads.

“There, that’s better...” you muttered as your eyes began to take stock of everything. 

The shelves were well stocked with various questionable devildom ingredients.  Mammon was right; it was the spices pantry, rows upon rows of glass containers with various labels on them. Eye of newt, ghost garlic, howling peppers.  You noticed the broken container on the floor, red powder scattered with Mammon-sized footprints pressed into it.  On the higher shelves sat various pickled ingredients: rabbit feet, bat wings, toad eyes...

But your attention to the pantry space was overshadowed by the heavy stillness that lingered behind you in the form of one unusually quiet greed demon.  Mammon’s silence was becoming torturous, and finally, knowing you could no longer avoid what’d happened, you turned and looked at him.

It was enough to snap him out of his stunned state.

“What the hell was that??” he demanded.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? You kissed me!”

“Well, yeah, you were starting to lose it and I had to shut you up!” you retorted.

“With a kiss? Here? Now??”

You couldn’t suppress the grin that blossomed across your face.  “Are you telling me you didn’t like it?”

“Wha- No, I didn’t say that...” he muttered as he scratched at the back of his head, his eyes looking away.

You stared at him for a long moment, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Mammon...”

“Hm?”

“You know I like you, right?”

His eyes snapped back to you, his mouth open as he tried to find words.

“Y... you do?” he finally said.  But then a lopsided grin curled up on one side and he straightened up pridefully.  “I mean, of course you do.  I’m the Great Mammon, Avatar of Greed.”

You laughed, rich and light with amusement.  You grabbed him by the wrapped bandages of his costume. “C’mere.”

Mammon’s grin was full now, his eyes gleaming in the warm light.  “You gonna kiss me again?”

“Yes,” you replied as you pulled him closer.

His arms tightened around you, pulling you against him. The scent of his expensive cologne surrounded you, and you fought the urge to bury your face into his neck and inhale.

“But I’m not scared anymore,” he teased.

“Oh,” you replied. You placed your finger to your chin thoughtfully.  “You’re right.  So maybe you should kiss me instead. As a thank you.”

“You want me to kiss ya?” He began to dip his head down, his eyes staring at your lips.  “ Y’know I won’t be able to stop when I start, right?”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

His lips were close enough to brush yours, feather soft.  “Because I’m greedy.”

“So am I,” you grinned.

A small scoff escaped his upturned lips, the warmth of his breath fanning yours for a split second before he kissed you.  Warmth spread throughout your body and you held his face in your hands.

He pulled back for just a fraction of a second to take in your dazed eyes and parted, open mouth.  Then he kissed you again, harder, as his body pressed you up against the sealed door. Your mouth opened for him instantly and Mammon took advantage of it, his tongue meeting yours hungrily. His hand came up to cup the back of your neck while his other held tightly to your waist.  Over and over you kissed, his warm tongue swiping against yours as his hands began to roam, caressing your body with a selfish touch.

You nibbled on his lip and he groaned as his body pressed harder against you, his leg taking up residence between your parted thighs.  You could already feel his hard cock pressed against your leg from within his pants, twitching eagerly against the restraining fabric.

“Your costume has been driving me fucking crazy all night,” he growled as his hands palmed at your breasts.  His body forced your legs open even wider to make room for him as he stood between them. “Especially these,” he commented, as his fingers tugged playfully on the edge of the knee-high black boots.

You glanced down at your costume with a giggle.  The short skirt was hiked up to your waist thanks to the way he had you spread for him.  It left your panties exposed, pretty and enticing.

Mammon wasted no time once he saw them, his palm cupping the shape of you through the thin fabric as he rolled and pressed his fingertips. You sucked air in through your teeth as sharp jolts of pleasure radiated.

“You better’ve put these on for me and no one else,” he growled.

Your breath shuddered from your chest as you struggled not to buckle under his firm touch.

  “Only you,” you replied.

“Good,” he whispered, and then he kissed you again, his tongue stealing your mouth.

His fingers continued to rub circles through your underwear, your wetness causing the fabric to glide easily across your sensitive skin as it soaked through, hot and slick.  You moaned into his mouth, and it spurred him on, his fingers pulling the panties aside and dipping into your wet heat.

Your body was more than ready, your walls slick and welcoming as he pushed one finger in, curled it, and then followed it quickly with a second, pushing deep into you until his knuckles were pressed against your folds. His other hand tugged the edge of your top down just enough to expose your breast, your nipple captured between his thumb and forefinger.

You gasped, your lungs filling hungrily with air as your nerves sang.  Then you exhaled, the breath carried on a wanton moan as he curled his fingers against your soft walls while his other hand rolled and pinched.

“Fuuuck,” he muttered against your lips, his breath hot. “You’re so fuckin’ hot...”

He kissed you.  Then Mammon pulled his fingers out slowly and pushed them back in.  Your eyes rolled and your mouth moaned. 

“I’ve thought about this so fuckin’ much,” he murmured as he watched you intently, “...fisted my cock every damn night to the thought of havin’ you just like this.”

Mammon pulled his fingers out again and then pushed back into you swiftly, harder, his palm grinding against your clit.  You yelped, your spine straightening as your head fell back against the hard wood of the door.  He stared in rapture and did it again.  Your fingers clung to his shoulders, your nails digging into his jacket.

It was everything Mammon had hoped for, everything he’d wanted.  Every whine and moan, every gasp and spasm were like little gifts of worship that you left on his golden altar.  It only spurred him on, eager to hear more, see more, take more. 

He began a steady, hard pace with his fingers, curling his tips on their retreat and grinding your clit on his return.  Your yelps turned into breathy whines, his name on the tip of your wet tongue and swollen lips.

He grinned devilishly. “You like that, huh? You like when I fuck your pretty pussy with my fingers?”

You were too enraptured by the sensations he was stroking in you to respond, your mind going dumb against the rapid onslaught of pleasure, and he chuckled.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby... gonna spoil ya, treat you the way you deserve.”

Mammon was everywhere; his fingers deep in you, the scent of his cologne surrounding you, his hot breath painting your lips.  He stole wet kisses from you with his tongue before trailing his mouth down your jawline.  He sucked on your neck harshly, pulling at the sensitive skin where your pulse fluttered wildly. It ached, sharp and rich, and you knew the mark would linger for weeks, and somewhere in your dazed mind, you thanked him.

But then he was moving further down, his teething grazing your collarbone and down your cleavage until he found your nipple. He took it into his mouth and bit it between his pearly white teeth with a growl.  Your body jolted, your hands pushing against his shoulders instinctually, but he did not relent.  Instead, his tongue lathed over the tender flesh and he began to suckle.

“M-Mammonnn...” you begged as you finally found your voice.

He released your nipple and continued to crouch lower and lower, until his face was level with your exposed, needy cunt.  His fingers still worked you, but they slowed considerably, causing you to whine.

He stared up at you, his blue-gold eyes dark with hunger.  “You haven’t been with any of my brothers, right?”

You vision focused, the seriousness of his tone forcing you to concentrate on him. “No,” you replied. “I p-promise. No one else...”

“I’ll be your first,” he said firmly.  “And I’ll be your last.  No one else is allowed to have you, ya got that?”

“You’ve always been my first,” you confessed. “I don’t want anyone else.”

He smiled at that, lips pulled into the sexy grin that you loved so much.

Then his mouth was on you, tongue dragging mercilessly across your swollen clit.  You gasped, deep and rich as your fingers tangled into his white locks and tightened on his roots.  He moaned against you, his voice reverberating into your core.  Mammon removed his fingers from you and in a single swift motion, he grabbed both of your thighs and put your legs over his shoulders.  You yelped as your body weight shifted against the door, but between his shoulders his hands gripping your ass, and the hard wood at your back, you were held steady.

The shift in your position forced your cunt harder against his face, and his tongue dived into your folds as his nose nudged your clit.  He licked and sucked, moaning like a starving man as he devoured you.  He relinquished your ass cheek with one hand, trusting in his shoulders and the door behind you to hold your weight as he pushed his wet fingers back into you, pumping them in a steady rhythm.  Your hips began to roll and buck, your fingers clenched into fists upon his head as you grinded yourself against him.  It built rapidly, faster than you could manage.

“Mammon!” you cried in warning.

You came hard, your body wracked with wave after wave of hot euphoria.  It rolled through you in shudder after shudder, the pleasure pushed out on decorated moans.   Your cunt throbbed needily around his tongue, his fingers, aching for more, more...

Your orgasm hadn’t even fully finished before he was removing his fingers from you and setting you back down on shaking, weak legs.  He came back up to face you, his mouth capturing yours in a hungry kiss as you whimpered against him.

You were torn between the aftermath of pleasure and the lingering sensation of feeling incomplete.  God, you wanted more of him, needed to feel him in you, hitting you deep and filling you up...

Before you could even so much as speak, his fingers were in your mouth, drenched in your arousal.

“Suck,” he ordered.

Your lips closed automatically, swallowing your juices off his long digits as they pressed against your tongue.

He laughed, breathy and light, as his eyes drank in the ruined sight of you.  “Look at ya, so fuckin’ greedy... I knew you were perfect for me...”

As you sucked his fingers clean, his other hand was quickly undoing his belt buckle and then his pants.  He’d barely gotten his cock free before he was lining himself up with your sopping, messy hole and pushing himself into you.  You moaned around his fingers, your eyes rolling back into your head as the filthy sounds of profanity fell from Mammon’s lips like prayers and promises.

His free hand lifted your thigh up against his hip as his body, hot and sweaty, pinned you against the door. You took every inch, every centimeter, your walls stretched and burning at the size of him, reigniting the nerves that hadn’t even had the chance to mellow before he began to fuck you.

Your legs were already weak from before, your heels making it difficult to stand.  Mammon removed his fingers from your mouth and hooked his forearms behind your knees and lifted you with ease, pinning you against the door with your knees drawn up on either side of you.  It rendered you helpless, the shift in the angle allowing him to hit you deeper until you were seeing stars.

Mammon fucked you harder, his hips pistoning his hard cock into you at a relentless place.  You clung to his shoulders as your whines and pleas grew louder, higher.  It was too much, the pleasure too rich, too sharp, it felt like wildfire...

“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he moaned between his heavy panting.  He kissed you, hard and sloppy, his mouth conquering yours as if he were searching for the residual taste of your cunt on your tongue. “I love you. I love you, I love you...” he chanted.

He adjusted his hold on your thighs slightly and his pace shifted, his cock pounding, faster, deeper, a greedy pursuit of a high he’d longed for ever since he first laid eyes on you.  It hit your sweet spot over and over until it ached, throbbed, and finally you were shattering, your second orgasm ripping through you, harder than before.  You cried out, and Mammon laughed, thrilled at the sound of your pleasure.

“Yeah, let ‘em here ya baby, fuck.  Let ‘em know who you belong to.”

But then his own words fell away, and he burst with a groan, loud and heavy as he buried his face into the crook for your neck.  His cum was hot, like fire, and it filled you up, and still he fucked you through it, savoring, reveling, until it oozed down his cock and soaked his balls, his pants. 

With a final thrust, deep and hard, his cock spasmed the last drops and he moaned low in satisfaction.

Your world spun, dizzy and tumbling with lightheadedness as you gasped heavily for air.  Mammon was still for a long moment, his sweaty forehead pressed against your collarbone as his hot breaths coated your chest.

Slowly, he lowered your legs until you could wrap them around his waist.  Then, with you still held in his arms, you both slowly slid down the door until you were sitting in his lap, his softening cock still tucked snuggly in you.

You stared up at the ceiling, dazed, as the orange orb glowed and hovered, flickering like a candle.  The air was hot and stuffy, rich with the smell of sex and spices.

You tangled your fingers into his hair at the back of his head and scratched along his scalp tenderly, and he groaned contentedly.

“I love you too,” you finally rasped around tired lungs.

Mammon sat up finally and looked at you, his arms still around your waist.  “Do ya?”

You smiled at him.  “Yeah.  I do.”

He kissed you tenderly, his gentleness returning now that his lust had finally been satiated... for now.

“Good,” he replied. “Cuz I meant it when I said it.  I love ya more than anything.”

You smiled and kissed him back.  “I know,” you replied.

You leaned your head back against the door and closed your eyes.  Mammon laid his head against your chest as he snuggled you.

“Mine,” he muttered.

You giggled and ran your fingers through his hair.  “Yours,” you replied.

After a few long minutes of silence, you finally spoke.

“Mammon...”

“Hm...?”

“I have a confession.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“I don’t know how to undo the binding spell on the door.”

“..... WHAT?”

[hermesbly]

Having some cravings ??

Read this before giving up:

Think of your body in a swim suit

Think of all the girls that are skinnier: flat stomach , visible collarbones, thigh gap, slim face.

Will the chocolate bar will taste as good as you being skinny ? I don’t think so

Kate moss

Remember when you were in bed at 3am telling you that tomorrow is the day you will start your journey AGAIN and won’t give up.

Are you really hungry or just bored ?

Snejana Onopka

Remember the body of the influencer you want to have.

Imagine yourself being in lingerie in front of the love of your life in your current body. Do you like it ? Then imagine it in you goal body.

Imagine a friend asking your weight and telling her because it is know a flex and she will be impressed even maybe jealous of you.

While you are giving up some girls are sticking to it and are seeing their weight going down.

Count how many calories you have already eaten today.

Think of the CONFIDENCE you will have when you will be at your goal weight.

Remember the promise you made to yourself. Have some self respect.

Don’t give up

[stkildan]

I just had one of my first IRL DAK experiences. It was late at night, around 10 pm, and I was out on a run. I usually run through my area, which is pretty residential, and then end up on a straight stretch beside a highway before heading back. As I was on the way back tonight, I was absolutely exhausted, literally using every last bit of energy in my body. I was probably about 100 meters away from the street that leads into my area when I saw three women by the crossing. Two were tall, skinny, and wearing high heels, while one was in a wheelchair and quite a bit chubbier. They had their backs to me, so I couldn’t see them clearly, but the fact that one was in a wheelchair intrigued me greatly, because, after all, it’s rare to see a young woman in a wheelchair.

At that moment, I was about to take a rest because I was completely knackered. But if I rested, I would risk missing the chance to see the woman in the wheelchair up close. And there was always a possibility she could be a double above-knee amputee. What a sight that would be! This thought spurred me on, and I sprinted up to the crossing. I thought it was unlikely—almost impossible, I mused—but as I came closer, I began to notice more details, although she was still facing the other direction. From behind, I could see the footrest on her wheelchair and... there was a gap! A golden gap! No feet, no toes, no ankles—nothing! Wow! Still, I thought she probably had some form of legs, even if they were small or deformed.

Then I approached the crossing and swung my head down to see her. Now I could clearly see: she had no legs! Absolutely none! No knees, and it looked to me like she barely had any thighs. She was definitely a bilateral high above-knee amputee, or possibly even a bilateral hip disarticulation amputee. She was one of those amputees who looked glued to her chair, as if it barely left her because she depended on it so much. I couldn’t believe my luck! I was planning to go the other way, but I had to see more. Immediately, I had a huge boner, so I ran into a side street next to the road they were on.

I walked along across from them for a while, listening to their chatter—disguised by the trees in between. One of the women with legs had taken to pushing the legless girl’s wheelchair, and they seemed to be giggling about it. I thought about following them some more and getting a picture, but that would have been very creepy. Instead, I waited for them to pass and got one more glimpse of the woman pushing her legless body up the street. I went and sat down on a wall to gather my thoughts. Who was this woman? I immediately began searching terms like "double above-knee amputee," "legless woman," and "woman with no legs" along with the name of my city to try to find any information about her. But alas, nothing. Still, the sight of her lives on in my memory, and I hope one day to see her legless body once more.

[princess-perfection]

from "The Chic Diet"

THINSPIRATION

“Sweat is just fat crying”

“Do not reward yourself with food—you're not a dog”

“Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels”

“Do it for the thigh gap”

“Coffee, smokes and cold Diet Cokes”

“Hip bones and collarbones” “Eating isn't very Chanel”

Ohmigod, reblog, right? Every chic girl, no matter what her age, is obsessed with thinspo and fucking eats that shit for dinner. It's super satiating. There's a different type of thinspiration or fitspiration for whatever kind of mood you might be in, too. Those 13-year olds on Tumblr have really got you covered.

Feeling lazy? Go read some ridiculous inspirational quotes about “doing today what you won't regret in one year”. Er, guess I should go for a run now. Feeling hopeless? #Beforeandafter! Feeling ravenous? Go on an infinite scroll-fueled journey through a neverending compendium of candid photos of runway models. Ooh, Frida looks super skinny there. Gawd, look at Anja's hips. Abbey Lee's cheekbones—I die. And Vlada's clavicles? So jelly.

When you are really unable to drown out the annoying bitch that is your empty stomach, head for the darker side of thinspo. All of those angled shots of thigh gaps and artsy snaps of ribcages are really effective for quelling your appetite and making you hate yourself. These girls mean serious business. Gawd, I wish I had that kind of dedication.

Ooh, that one's kind of extreme. Like, I can literally see her bones, and not in the good way. Holy shit, her spine is like that of a fucking Stegosaurus. And, whoa, let's scroll past these uber quickly. Um, are those types of GIFs even allowed? They're kinda porn-y. Okay, now that's just porn.

Uh, I didn't really need to see your Post-Impressionist suicide collage note, spiraling-down-to-85lb, whoever the hell you are. Talk about sadsies. Er, what's with the razorblades? No, don't do that! Ohmigod, why are people taking pictures of blood? Is that a dead person?! Um, close window.

Ugh, now I really need a Xanax. So upsetting.

...But those shoulder blades that I just reblogged are totally my thinspiration. Ooh, let's go look at the tags for Alexa Chung and Snejana Onopka. Ohmigod, this blog is totes amaze—follow! And, like, did you see that picture of that girl's legs in those adorable knee-high socks? Gawd, I'm such a heifer. Time for a 5-day water fast!

[servitudeofsadness]

relapse & restriction

CONTENT WARNINGS: EATING DISORDERS, RESTRICTED EATING, TRIGGERING DISCUSSIONS OF FOOD

Remember food is fuel and fuel is absolutely necessary for your body to stay alive. Don’t let silly beauty standards dictate your eating and your life. If you are easily triggered by discussions of disordered eating and negative perceptions of food, please do not read the following prose. eat & stay hydrated! <3

…

i.

“she has malnutrition,” my home doctor says as she checks my wrists and prescribes me on sugar fluids and nutrient pills. i have not been eating for a week. it is code for eating disorder.

mum looks on. ”is it treatable?”

“yes.” time ticks on and my brother waits outside.

i am starved out of my soul. deep hollowed eyes, violet-knuckled bruises, and devoid of thought. one week.

ii.

my one week low-calorie morninglunchdinnersnackfest! guaranteed to loose more than 20kg! foodspo/mealspo thread!! <33:

one medium-sized fried egg? ~ 78 cals!

1 cup matcha protein almond latte? ~ 60 cals!

1 saltine cracker? ~ 10 cals!

½ cup of tomato soup? ~ 105 cals!

⅓ slice of white bread? ~ 22 cals!

⅓ roasted chicken drumstick? ~ 33 cals!

½ cup white rice? ~ 121 cals!

4 oz air-fried salmon? ~ 194 cals!

½ gluten-free medium-sized oatmeal chocolate chip cookie? ~ 33 cals!

diet coke? ~ 0 cals!

do the math and tell me if it’s less than 1000 cals!! <3

remember kids, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels !! <3

iii.

if beauty standards are a person, and the purge is real.

they are the first i’ll tear the door down to

on account of falsifying the determiners of beautiful:

skinny legs tutorial!! look, brandy melville carries a one size fits all??

do you fit in? “bye-bye booty: Heroin chic is back!!”

try this A4 paper thin waist challenge!! see how fat you are??

noo why is th1nsp0 content banned on twitter??

tumblr?? tiktok?? join edtwt!! though, pro-recovery dni!!

(i was in scout camp when i dizzied, circus of purple visions

collapsed with blood soaking my undergarments and

half awoke to blankets that weighed heavier than me on my near dead body;

i still feel the bland slick of porridge forced down my throat.

proana girlies?? mitigating censors in the prospect of

pursuing an early death. ed tumblr diaries of all hedonistic thoughts.)

these are fruits you should avoid as it induces sugar euphoria!!

clean girl aesthetic!! kale smoothies will help you lose weight!!

i walked 20000 steps today to achieve a thigh gap!!

body-checking disguised as ootd and grwm tiktoks

sketchbook detailing rampages of eating disorder content

the striking thump of my collarbones and my wobbly knees

a 2 hour loop subliminal messaging “i am so skinny“ “i am 44.4 kg” “ i am thin—“

SHUSH! SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

this is existing in a society that curbed the living in me,

to strive for an empty heartbeat and rotten-tinged bones for legs

low calorie food still eaten in moderation

the constant desire to clasp my wrist in assurance of how skinny i am

clumsy rhetoric spilled in between sips and spits

of my no calorie pungent pomegranate mineral water

you should skip your lunch too and snacks except

water and maybe some yogurt-zero

starvation is never salvation

thin is glazed over with honey

And so easily fractured with bones

hunger. starving. eat. EAT. EAT!

on december 18 2018, i started recovery

i have relapses, days of unintended calorie deficits;

but i am healing unlearning,

trying, escaping, living ~

…

“you are embarrassed about your blood, its redness, the way it is just coming out of you with no concern for anyone’s feelings. You are … embarrassed to be alive.”

- Carmen Maria Machando

—————

is 90’s thinness coming back? - Mina Le

please stop romanticizing eating disorders on tiktok - Sarah Hawkinson

tiktok is bad for women, actually - Jordon Theresa

The Evolution of Pro Anorexia - Of Herbs and Altars

i lost weight to fit into Brandy Melville - Letao Chen

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” - Kate Moss

Are you a femcel? - Roisin Lanigan

bye-bye booty: Heroin chic is back - Adriana Diaz

[hotgrrlsummer]

Lyrics:

("So... I heard you like fat girls?")

[Verse]

Don't try to deny, it's plain to see

I can tell, by the way you look at me

Skinny girls, they just can't spark your fire~

Needs plenty of chub to rouse your desire~!

[Verse 2]

Oh baby, a slender frame won't do

slim and trim, it just ain't for you

Hip bones, thigh gap, there's no thrill~

You lust for curves with some hefty spill~!

[Chorus]

don't mind all the treats are showing

don't mind if the waistband's overflowing 

don't mind when my belly hang keeps growing

cause I know all these extra pounds get you going!

[Verse 3]

I don't care for diets, don't care to be petite

I love my sweets'n treats, love to eat!

Ain't scared of another few pounds~

Cause I know you adore all my plumptious rolls and mounds~!

[Verse 4]

Oh I'm a full figured beauty, got thighs thicker than your waist

Don't be shy, come feel their soft embrace

Belly Rolls so fat, you can bury your face~

No way to deny it's your favorite place~!

[Chorus]

don't mind all the treats are showing

don't mind if the waistband's overflowing 

don't mind when my belly hang keeps growing

cause I know all these extra pounds get you going!

[Verse 5]

The secret's out, so let's be straight

You love when your girl piles on some weight

Oh baby, just say it, let me hear it from your lips~

You crave to fatten up these luscious hips~!

[Bridge]

Love handles, plenty to grab

Sizeable ass, you'd love to slap

Belly pudge, so much to squeeze

Fat Girls got everything you need!

[Outro]

("Now, would you be a darling and bring me a few more chocolate cupcakes? You wouldn't want your poor girl to waste away, would you?") [laughter]

[ur-lovely-dream-girl]

reasons

TW: ED

please know that these are my reasons, so be respectful ! thanks

ill add more as i go along

• having no face fat. i used to be literal th1n$p0 when i was younger and had barely any face fat which is smth i miss, especially looking at old photos. i honestly hate my "chubby cheeks." what's even worse is ppl will tell me i remind them of a bunny, squirrel or that i kind of look like a baby with chubby cheeks. like no.

• my thighs not rubbing together. do i even need to say more ?

• everyone liking me, including my crush

• ppl being jealous on how i lost weight

• people asking me how i lost weight. my doctor did this once, which i was so happy for (for a moment) and then her dumb@ss self starting going on about how losing 2 lbs is so unhealthy 😒 some days some ppl at school will ask me how im so skinny though, but i don't see it. once i see it in family photos, school group pictures, and selfies, I'll notice it.

• people telling me i look like a model

• just to shove it in other people's faces that i can be pretty. i can and will be pretty, and you can be too. just put in the effort, there's always a reaction to an action.

• a mood frr

• ill be the skinniest in my class

• no period

• sharper jawline and noticable cheekbones (basically no face fat)

• look better in all angles

• give off a dainty vibe + look good in all clothing

• since im transferring to a private school, i honestly want to be like those skinni private school girls w thigh gaps, slim faces, wrists, hands, and a tall height 👀

[skeleton-monarch]

i hate how hard being in a fandom full of skinny characters and skinny people makes it to get over my eating disorder and body image issues

it’s all about the skinny waists and delicate hands and thick thighs but only if you’re fit and have no stomach to prove it

everything lately seems to be about being small in some way. being fat and tall with a fat waist and fat arms and fat hands and fat everything feels fucking impossible. and i’m lucky! i have wide-set hips that gives me that unrealistic “fat” anime girl thigh gap and i have an hourglass figure and i can’t imagine how it would feel if i didn’t.

it feels so stupid to be affected by fandom spaces like this but i can’t help it. fandom is the only real space i see people openly talking about who they’re attracted to. i spend a lot of time in fandom spaces. it’s pervasive and makes me feel like shit and i hate it.

when the only things ever talked about as desirable are the opposite of me, there’s a pretty strong implication that i and people like me are undesirable.

[coquetteprincessthings]

it makes me so sick to always want to be skinny have a thigh gap and seem so vulnerable and have all the amazing stuff that comes w but then I remember that by wishing that and keeping starving myself I’m just reinforcing those shitty pedophilic beauty standards and that in fact I should just wish to be healthy and that I’m merely a privileged teenager girl who fears food while children her age are dying of real hunger not like her bc of wars and capitalism that I should be grateful that I have super healthy dishes every day cooked by my mother but I’m a big pig that jumps on occasions to eat junk food and steal sweets when my mother isn’t there and I should be fixing my relationship w food but instead I just binge et starve myself and most sad thing is that can’t even starve myself like I would bc of my parents that see me like a stupid and immature girl trying to stick to the false idea of a dream body and that I have no self control so in order to me to not binge I make my siblings binge so there’s nothing left for me but it’s no big deal cuz it seems like they got the good genes and can’t gain weight and lose some each time they don’t get snacks but at least every time every time I enter in tumblr I remember that all that won’t matter when I get skinny

[myaquariusheart]

I just want to write about my body dysmorphia that I've been trying to avoid that I clearly have and need to come to terms with. It literally takes me about 30 mins in the morning to pick the right outfit, and not because the outfit isn't good ( I only buy clothes that do look good thank you) but because it doesn't look good on me. I literally hate the way I look in anything and everything. Jeans are my biggest enemy right now. In the shops, I always find the most 'perfect' jeans. I always buy one that I'm going to style and wear with certain outfits and then one pair that I just need to wear to work etc but now my work jean is so run down and gross I honestly need to get a new pair. I have these cargo black jeans that I absolutely adored when I first got them. I literally wore them a few times when I had Jury Service, but now when I go to put them on... they fit absolutely horribly, they're so tight and it just looks so bad. It fits a little around my legs with little to no breathing space and then a massive gap around my waist which doesn't look flattering at all and it just makes me sad that I look so gross in them now because I used to look good in them, I don't know what happened. My fave pair of jeans was the wide-leg mum jeans from Sainsbury that I wore when I was working at Cabana all the time. They were the best, they fit amazing and were not tight or loose. Eventually, they got worn out and the inner thigh bit was destroyed. They were the best jeans and I really miss them so much I literally can't find any pair like them. The only 'good' pair of jeans that I have no are my Pepe Jeans that I also got when I was working at Cabana, but who on earth wears skinny jeans? No one. Even though they're nice I don't want to be that girl who wears skinny jeans. It's out of fashion and they're too tight. I want some wide-leg mum jeans that just fit right, but where are they. Can Google please get the hint and recommend me some. I don't even know what I've been wearing for bottoms right now, and by the time the sun comes up, there won't be anywhere for me to even wear my dresses. So yeah the jeans. Everything looked awful on me and I wasn't confident enough to wear a sun dress today so that wasn't going to work out then when I got on the train I was seeing everyone else in their jeans and they all looked so amazing. I'm not confident enough to ask the people where they got their jeans from and I know they're not going to look the same on me as it looks on them. everyone has a different body type and at this point, I don't even know what body type I have. I want to look good and be curvy in the right places but I can't even be bothered to work on myself. My shoulders are too wide and large, but I need to work on my arms otherwise my whole body isn't going to look right if I only work out my legs. It's just a disaster but as I keep saying maybe once all my assignments are done I can focus on other things such as gym and maybe gain some body confidence then. The main thing now is to just go shopping and find some good jeans. I'm definitely not going to go Primark to get jeans because the material is way too boxy. I liked New Look jeans or River Island but it's too much of an effort to go and get these things because I am definitely going to get distracted and end up spending over £100, which I really don't want to do because I AM going on holiday this year. I don't even have time to go and shop, with this busy schedule. The only time I can think of is Friday after work, maybe that could work. I do really need new jeans.