#all “come at me” bravado
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glazedcroissant · 6 days ago
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I absolutely adore the meta knight battle in the forgotten land
Speedpaint pspsps
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sampilled · 10 months ago
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The way dean’s character completely changes in season 8 and it’s like never acknowledged
Can you imagine s14 dean saying s2 dean’s lines?
I saw interview once with Eric kripke and he basically said something along the lines of “dean’s core is a sad child” and it really struck me.
Dean in the early seasons (while yes, violent and a Hunter and a million other things) is so gentle with other people. With Sam and with Jo especially. He has a hard shell but the soft centre is easy to see and I feel like that just gets lost in season 8
It’s like he still has dean’s personality but none of his vulnerability
It’s like a caricature of him and it’s so upsetting
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fantastic-mr-corvid · 8 months ago
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[Belated] Wip Wednesday!
you know my life is hectic when notes ap fics while im waiting for the bus make a comeback. anyway Tesoro is being a weirdly sweet manipulative cunt<3 i need to write one of the many times Celia fucks up everyone lives shes looking to pity-able. this is notes app writing so no editing or rereading [except for the beginning with whos speaking] just stream of thoughts- i already know many places i will sit down and improve when i have time
[Tesoro] Do you know who Amelia reminds me of?
[Celia laughs] It's obvious, isn't it?
[Tesoro, dead serious] She reminds me of you.
[Celia, at the same time] Of Elen-
Seeing Celia freeze in shock, a cruel part of him was glad, to be assured that with just a few words he could still metaphorically lay Celia bare, strip away all of the stone walls and bravado, and leave behind a scared child, even after all these years.
Golden eyes were wide, the white fully surrounding. Bright pupils were growing larger, threatening to drown out the narrowing ring of gold.
Its a secret so few know that those pinpricks growing to even half the size of a normal pupil is an indicator of true fear, whereas the usual pinpricks is normal. To those who knew her younger, they think it just changed over time to be smaller, but the truth is she's in many ways conquered her old fears, and those that have taken their place are a slow constant fear, about larger factors. Celia doesn't worry that she will get physically attacked from any side. these days, its the era of mind games instead.
It was always interesting, Celias eyes. More normal than black in place of white, but those metallic eyes and bright pinprick pupils were unsettling to him even more. At first glance, human, second, anything but. Celia- of heaven, according to some old Latin books, derived from a surname meaning the same.
It was easy to see her as something other, even holy, but no benevolent god could create a soldier like her. Those who called her brother an angel were just as misguided, but the veneer of kindness and comfort that made it easy to ignore Cecios' terrifying power over people and see him as holy was lacking in his sister, who they viewed with fear, no seemingly benevolent and gracious angel but an awesome- in the most classical sense of the word- leader of man, set apart from the rest with an unsettling aura of difference. A far cry from the little girl Amelia so reminds him of. Elena was the seemingly godlike one, inspiring awe and fear, then. Celia was just another scrapper desperate to prove her worth in the eyes of her peer, and oh, how desperate she was.
It's the most likely reason why, why he can disable her like this, bypass years of walls. Because he was there before those walls became impenetrable, before she stepped up and shut everyone else out. Some lingering memories of him as her superior, in their childish hierarchy, instincts to listen to him, still dormant inside her.
For every time she learned to put up a higher and stronger wall, he had learned how to bring it crashing down.
It's the same cruel part of him that whispers it, but she truly is his greatest success, rising from the bottom to new heights - all with him by her side advising her.
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leolove4ever · 2 years ago
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girls who can’t process their own emotions regarding their parents all of a sudden want to start socratic seminars regarding the roy children. okay. sure.
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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 1 year ago
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the bore next door (j.ww)
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Jeon Wonwoo is not dull, nor is he the clean and polite neighbor that your mother assumed he was when she set you up on this awful date. 
or the one where wonwoo takes you home on the first date and renders you unable to walk, hoping to god that you don’t expose him to your parents.
ao3 | minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog, i will kiss your forehead so fucking fast if you do. 
WORDCOUNT― 8.8k
PAIRING― wonwoo x afab reader
CONTENT― strangers to fucking immediately to the possibility of dating later, reader is a teacher but this is not a school setting, mocking and making fun, sneaky sex, flirting and bullying in the same instance, cocky wonwoo, um…they’re kind of competitive in bed
WARNINGS― small mention of other teachers cheating on their spouses (very tiny mention), the resistance of pressure to fall in love/have children
NOTE― I repurposed an old wip for this because putting this mf in the main role hit harder than it should have. that being said, don’t expect me to write men often like this, i just thought it would be neat to make him take control. this is not proof read.
smut tags under cut:: 
Keep reading
#jeon wonwoo smut#seventeen smut#hon <3#i am so upset that it took me so long to come across this#always reblog your fics folks new people will always come across them#fucking anyways I'm going to try and type something coherent and worthwhile#first of all maybe it's because wonwoo is my boyfriend and i love him but reader was such a dick to him 😭😭😭#he's better than me i would've left lmao but reader is hot so understandable#and given that he's in Seventeen i wouldn't be surprised if he had an affinity for annoying people lmao /lh#however I'd let me wonwoo fuck me too reader is valid#WHY IS MY MOTHER NOT SETTING ME UP WITH MEN LIKE WONWOO HELLO WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO BE HAPPY#i don't have as much bravado (perhaps misplaced kkjgghj) as reader but her instantly folding when they're alone at his place meeeeeee RJ#CORE ACTUALLY#him shoving his hands between Reader's thighs to prove a point hon your brain-#THE CRAWLING HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#before i keep keyboard smashing and word vomiting i just want to say i love love love how you wrote wonwoo#i think he's an idol i struggle to read for a lot but the way you wrote felt so much like the person he actually is and your skills as a#writer never fail to impress me truly#from him putting up with Reader's shit in a way that is both patient and teasing to him fully having her wrapped his fingers (literally)#god i ate this up within minutes lmao#people losing themselves and all composure during sex my most beloved#q: painting with hyunjin
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gibbearish · 4 months ago
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huh. having now understood reaching my target audience of one i think i now get why certain artists have gone batshit, and its because no matter their audience size or how explicitly they state things, no one gets what theyre actually saying
#crazy=genius is the primary example that comes to mind#like. the immediate association there is that its bragging#and maybe to some degree it is‚ that doesnt discount the rest of what im going to say#but like. the order of words there is very important. its not 'it genius = crazy then im insane because im sososo smart'#its 'if crazy = genius then im albert einstein‚ because i am going fucking insane'#its not bragging‚ its bravado. there is a crucial difference between the two.#its a cry for help wrapped in enough arrogance to ensure plausible deniability#and we all just. brushed him off. me included#it's sebastian all over again#if no one takes what you say seriously then you can say your most serious thoughts and have no one blink an eye#and brush it off as yeah yeah emo boy we all had a bad time in highschool.#ajr too im legitimately tempted to see if they have a public email that i can write and send a full analysis to#theyre all just saying it. these people are all so lonely and surrounded by people who see them as a commodity#can you imagine being surrounded by thousands of people who know the words to your songs by heart and didn't understand a single one#sending out flare after flare saying 'this is not a bit i am crumbling to pieces and need help' and having articles written#about how its just music and doesnt mean anything and youre a terrible person#its just for the bit‚ its just to pull your heartstrings to make it hit harder‚ its just art. its doesnt mean anything. right?#nevermind that theres a reason they know which strings to pull. nevermind that none of those are mutually exclusive. nevermind how#directly they say that that is not the case in the song. it doesnt mean anything. it cant. because if it does and if theyre all telling the#truth about how fucked up they are then ding ding ding it seems yet again society is broken#and its easier to say it doesnt mean anything than to face the scale of the everything of it all#origibberish#yknow what come to think of it i think using specifically 'crazy' is also deliberate plausible deniability as just being an asshole too#like 'oh well if you were aaaaactually going through a mental health crisis then you would use more respectful language'#much to consider much to consider
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aromanticasterisms · 6 months ago
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sitting bolt upright in the middle of the night with the realization that furina is not a parallel to seele, she's a parallel to veliona. walk with me,
obligatory disclaimer that i do not think furina and focalors are an "expy" of the seeles [taking this word away from hyv fans and putting it on a shelf] because nothing shared across these games is ever a one for one copy. even for characters whose names and appearances are the same or similar, inspiration is drawn from multiple different sources. [talk to me about different aspects of mei being seen in makoto and ei respectively, and yae miko being more like rin / higokumaru than sakura]. the setting and tone of each game is very different, and this shapes the characters in different and interesting ways.
i enjoy seele and furina's stories because they're distinct and different entities!! but it's fun to draw comparisons between the two and see what aspects of these stories have been repeated versus where they differ from each other.
like okay listen. i've understood the shallower parallels between focalors and furina and seele and veliona for a while. there's two of them. one of them has short hair the other long. the sea of quanta / the primordial sea. the little mermaid analogies. the shade of life creating focalors's predecessor / veliona being a stigmata of the previous era herrscher of death, seele becoming the herrscher of rebirth. okay yeah fine whatever.
the seeles' story is one of codependency as a result of trauma and isolation, and recovering from it and learning to rely on each other in healthier ways. focalors and furina's story is one of loneliness, duty, and sacrifice.
but both of them are about identity.
since the time they came into being, both furina and veliona have taken on this role of protector to something they hold dear - furina's doomed people, veliona's meek and fragile other half. in order to take on this role, they put on masks - furina's arrogant and exuberant showmanship, veliona's harsh and sarcastic demeanor - to hide away the insecurities that lie beneath.
and when their counterpart is killed / separated from them, these insecurities come right up to the surface, and they're at a loss for what to do with themselves. they don't know who they are if they're not projecting this mask and playing the part of protector. who is veliona when seele grows stronger, makes more friends, doesn't need her anymore? who is furina, after five hundred long years, when she doesn't have to pretend to be a god anymore?
without their counterpart to hide behind, to give them meaning, who do they have that cares for them? that sees past the mask they've put between themselves and the world?
perhaps surprisingly to them, a lot of people!
their friends pick them up when they stumble and pull them forward into a more hopeful future where they can be themselves and live their own lives. seele assuring veliona she does want her around, bronya accepting her, the herrscher of sentience trying to get her to be more confident in herself. neuvillette looking after furina's financial costs, clorinde inviting her out drinking and to meet up with friends so she doesn't stay locked in her apartment forever, the people of fontaine accepting furina as she is.
in the end, they don't entirely abandon these masks of theirs, but repurpose them, borrowing that false confidence and making it into something more real as they take steps to discovering who they are and who they want to be.
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littlelamy · 2 months ago
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boat scene with rafe
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requested by @gibson-g1rl l <3 😘 part 2
credits: oysters png from @saizun , and amazing gifs from @rafeyscurtainbangs
The boat rocks beneath you as you step toward where Rafe sits bound against the wall, looking both furious and oddly vulnerable. You catch his eye as you enter the room, holding a small packet of aspirin and a plate of food. His eyebrows lift slightly in surprise, but his cocky smirk returns almost immediately.
“Look who’s here to take care of me,” he drawls, his voice dripping with that familiar teasing tone, though there’s a flicker of genuine relief in his eyes.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” You roll your eyes, but there’s no real bite to your words. You set the plate down next to him and hand over the aspirin, glancing away to avoid letting him see the small, reluctant smile tugging at your lips. “Thought you’d need this. Can’t have you passing out on us.”
Rafe takes the aspirin from your hand, holding your gaze just a little too long before he swallows it dry. “I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting room service,” he murmurs, eyes never leaving yours. “Didn’t know you cared this much.”
You scoff, folding your arms. “You should know by now I don’t want you dead, Rafe,” you say with a wry smile. “But don’t expect this to become a habit.”
He chuckles, the sound low and a little smug. “We’ll see about that,” he says, shifting against the ropes, clearly enjoying the attention. He nods toward the plate. “So, what—are you gonna feed me, too?”
You blink, taken aback by his nerve, and then raise an eyebrow, letting sarcasm color your voice. “Would you like me to? Or do you think you can manage?” You narrow your eyes, daring him to keep pushing.
Rafe’s smirk wavers, his cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink as he quickly looks away. “I can handle it,” he mutters, clearly flustered but trying to play it off. “Don’t get carried away.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I wasn’t planning to.” But you can’t help the grin tugging at your lips as you settle back, watching as he tries to pick up a piece of food from the plate with an awkward, fumbling grip, struggling against the restraints.
You stifle a laugh as he tries to eat without making a mess, and he catches you smiling, his jaw tightening. “Something funny?” he snaps, though there’s a hint of embarrassment in his tone.
You shrug, biting back your amusement. “Nothing at all. You look perfectly in control.”
Rafe grumbles under his breath, focusing intently on his food to avoid meeting your eyes. Another wave rocks the boat, causing you to steady yourself against the wall, and you look back to find him watching you, something almost like concern flickering in his gaze.
“Be careful,” he mutters, his voice softer, dropping the bravado for a split second.
For a moment, you just look at each other, the storm outside and the chaos around you fading into the background. His cocky expression softens, and he gives you a small, grateful nod. He won’t say it, but you know he’s thankful.
“Thanks,” he says quietly, his gaze lingering on you a beat longer.
“Yeah, yeah,” you reply, crossing your arms as you lean back against the wall. “Just don’t make me regret it.”
Rafe grins, his cockiness slipping back into place, but now it’s warmer, less of a wall and more like something shared just between the two of you. As he reaches for another bite, he murmurs, “Wouldn’t dream of it.” And as much as you try to resist, you can’t help the small, reluctant smile that crosses your face in response.
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The storm hits hard, the boat rocking violently beneath your feet. You’re barely able to keep your balance as you make your way through the narrow, dimly lit hallway. Waves crash against the hull, each one sending a jolt of panic through your body. But there’s something else clawing at you—something that won’t let you ignore the sound of Rafe’s voice, sharp and desperate, calling from another room.
“Come on! Cut me loose!” His voice cracks, the desperation in it too raw to ignore.
You freeze, breath catching in your throat. Rafe. He’s still tied up. The ropes are holding him in place as the boat teeters precariously on the brink of capsizing. You can hear Pope and Cleo yelling from the kitchen, their voices overlapping, trying to convince you to leave it alone. To save yourself. But you can’t. Not this time.
You grip the knife tighter, your fingers cold and trembling from the anxiety rising in your chest. There’s no time to think. Rafe’s call keeps echoing in your head, and that voice—the urgency, the fear—pushes you forward. You make your way toward the room where you heard him last, the sound of the storm growing louder as it pounds against the sides of the boat.
Before you even get to the door, Cleo’s voice rings out. “No! Y/N, No!”
Pope’s voice follows, sharper. “Y/N, stop don’t let him out!”
But you keep moving. You don’t stop. You can’t. There’s no way you’re going to let Rafe stay there, helpless and bound, when you can do something about it.
When you reach the door, you shove it open, and the sight of Rafe tied up against the far wall hits you with a jolt. He’s slumped slightly, sweat slicking his forehead, his face drawn with exhaustion and frustration. His eyes snap to you, and for a split second, they soften with something almost like relief.
“Cut me loose, come on!” He says again, his voice strained, but louder this time, more insistent.
His hands are bound tightly in thick ropes, his legs spread out uncomfortably beneath him. The ropes seem too thick for him to break on his own. You can see the tension in his body, the way his muscles twitch from the strain, and the panic that flickers behind his gaze. There’s no time to waste. You don’t think twice. You crouch in front of him, the knife in your hand glinting in the low light.
Rafe watches you, his chest rising and falling unevenly. “Don’t make me regret this,” you murmur, feeling your heart beat faster as you cut into the thick rope that’s holding him in place. Your hands are shaking, the knife slipping slightly as the boat tilts again, but you focus on the task at hand.
“Come on, hurry up.” His words are clipped, desperate, and you push aside the nervous tightness in your chest as you work faster, cutting the ropes.
You’re close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body, a stark contrast to the cold, wet air from the storm. The boat groans as another wave slams against it, and Rafe’s eyes flicker to the window, then back to you.
“Please,” he breathes, and it’s that one word that makes everything else fade away—the roaring storm, the panicked shouting from the others, the ticking clock of time slipping away.
The last thread gives way with a sharp cut, and Rafe’s hands are free. His arms immediately reach for you, grabbing hold of your wrist with a surprising amount of force, pulling himself upright.
“Thanks,” he mutters, his voice rough, but there’s something deeper in it, something like a sense of vulnerability you’ve never seen from him before.
You don’t have time to say anything, to wonder if he’s really thankful or if he’s just grateful to be free. The boat shudders violently, and you both stumble as the hull groans beneath you. The wind howls outside, whipping against the windows, and you know there’s not much time before things get worse.
Rafe doesn’t wait for an invitation. He grabs your arm, pulling you toward the narrow hallway. “We need to get to somewhere safer,” he says, his tone not leaving any room for an argument.
You’re both moving quickly, though the boat keeps pitching wildly. The wind screeches, and water sloshes against the floorboards. Every step feels like a risk, like the boat could capsize at any moment. But Rafe doesn’t let go of your arm. He pulls you behind him, guiding you toward a small corner near the engine room, the only place that might offer even the slightest bit of shelter.
You slide into the corner, pressing yourself against the cold wall. It’s not the safest place, but in the madness of the storm, it’s all you have. Rafe follows, wedging himself beside you. There’s barely enough room for the two of you, but you don’t mind. You’re not focused on that right now. All you can think about is how the boat is rocking, how you’re both on the brink of disaster, and how Rafe’s body is so close to yours.
He leans into you, his breathing ragged and uneven. For a moment, he pulls away, but then his hand is at your waist, his grip tightening. It’s almost like he’s afraid you might slip away from him. He presses his body closer, his face now inches from yours, and you can feel the rapid beat of his heart.
Rafe places his head on your neck, his face buried in the crook of your shoulder. The warmth of his breath on your skin is both comforting and unsettling, but you don’t pull away. Instead, you place your hand on his back, the pressure of your touch grounding both of you as the storm rages on around you.
“You’re okay,” you whisper, though you’re not sure if you’re trying to reassure him or yourself.
Rafe doesn’t respond, but you feel his muscles relax, his tense body unwinding little by little. He’s not just holding onto you for stability; it feels like he’s holding onto you for something more. You can’t explain it, but there’s something in the way he leans into you, something raw and vulnerable that you’ve never seen before.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln
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autumnscribbles · 28 days ago
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take care of you | rc
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pairing: mommyissues!rafe x pogue!reader
summary: after a heated argument with ward, rafe seeks comfort from the only woman in his life who’s ever stayed
warnings: wee bit of theorizing about mama cameron (death)
wc: 1.8k
a/n: hey friends!! thank you to the anon that sent this request in!! i love me a soft rafe moment who just needs to be held🥹 enjoy!! feel free to send me more angsty/soft rafe i love it!!!
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
Rafe slammed the truck door shut behind him, twisting his key into the ignition. Ward stood in the doorway ahead of him, his mouth moving but his words unheard. Rafe stopped listening to him even before he decided to leave. He couldn’t listen to it anymore. The rain pelted the windowsill, overpowering the pounding sound of his accelerated heartbeat. He pulled out of the driveway, no destination in mind. He just had to leave.
As he drove, his headlights broke through the rain ahead, illuminating the pitch black road. His breathing was still heavy, trying to ignore his fight with Ward. They weren’t exactly few and far between, but this one had escalated particularly badly. He replayed it over and over, on the verge of screaming just to make it stop.
He didn’t know why he tried to hard to impress Ward, or to get his validation. Everyone is his life left in one way or another. Whether it was on their own terms, or they were taken. He clung to Ward and the fact that just maybe, he would stick around. Be proud of him. In the end, everyone gave up on him. Everyone screwed him over.
Except maybe one person.
When Rafe first met you, he didn’t like you. He never thought he could be friends with a pogue, let alone be with one romantically. You had too much confidence for someone who didn’t have very much. He admit, he thought less of you. He judged you about things that didn’t truly matter. Eventually, he began to find you endearing. You didn’t need boats, a big house, designer clothes, or anything material to be happy. You knew who you were, and he admired that.
You understood him in ways no kook ever had, and probably more than any kook ever will. You knew hardship, and you saw through his bravado. You could tell deep down, he was in pain. No money could fix what was truly happening inside. All the other kooks were shallow. Never having any conversations with substance, just rambling about bullshit. Rafe never really fit in with any of them. He pretended to be friends with most of them, to keep up appearances and his reputation. At the end of the day, he knew none of them truly cared about him. Even worse, he knew they would mock him if they knew he was with you.
Without realizing, Rafe ended up pulling into your driveway. Through the still pouring rain, he could barely see your house. All the lights were off, including the porch light. Were you home? He didn’t even know. As his mind reeled, he automatically drove here. He wanted to see you. Wanted your comfort. Before you, he hadn’t had that in a long time. Since his mom…no one had ever been there for him. No one to tell him things would be okay, no one to comfort him, or hold him. He craved it.
He hopped out of the car, jogging through the rain to your front door. He rapped his knuckles, hoping you would appear on the other side. He saw a light turn on inside, and exhaled a sigh of relief.
You opened the door, met with a dripping wet and sad looking Rafe on the other side. You were surprised to see him. You had some distance from each other recently, since Rafe told you that his friends couldn’t know about your relationship. You pulled back as he continued to hang out with them, unsure how to move forward.
Seeing him here made your heart sink. He pouted as his blue eyes bore into yours, sadness overcoming his entire expression.
“Can I come in?” he asked. “Please.”
“Of course,” you muttered. You stepped aside, letting Rafe into your empty house.
He crossed the threshold, a shiver coming over his body at the sudden change of temperature. His wet clothes left him cold, making the warmth of your house even more shocking to his system. He wiped at his face in attempt to dry it.
“Are you cold?” you asked gently. “Here let me go get you some clothes and a blanket.”
You walked away for a moment, leaving Rafe standing in your doorway. You gathered a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that belonged to your brother. He wasn’t here, he wouldn’t mind. You snatched your fuzzy blanket from your bed, scurrying back to where Rafe stood waiting. You passed him the clothes, offering him to go change.
As he took his time, you put a kettle of water on the stove. Opening your white cabinets, you rummaged through the various flavours of tea you had. You settled on chamomile. You knew Rafe liked it, even though he would never admit it to literally anyone else. You grabbed 2 mugs and placed the tea bags inside as the kettle began whistling.
You took the two steaming mugs out to the coffee table, where Rafe sat on the couch, waiting for you.
“Here,” you muttered, handing him the mug. You grabbed the blanket, placing it across his lap. “That should warm you up.”
“Thank you,” he said softly, gentle eyes looking up at you.
You sat down beside him, tucking your legs up on the couch. You both sat in silence for a moment, sipping your tea. He let out a small sigh after his first sip, a little smile tugging at his lips.
“My favorite,” he whispered. You responded with a nod.
“You take such good care of me,” he said, breaking the silence more. “I don’t deserve it.”
“Rafe,” you sighed.
He shook his head, not wanting you to deny the truth. He didn’t want you to tell him that he deserved it when he knew it wasn’t true. You were consistently there for him, exuding a kindness he’d never felt. Yet what did he do in return? Essentially tell you he’s embarrassed about your relationship. It was ridiculous, and you shouldn’t be nice to him.
“Come here,” you whispered, opening your arms to him.
His eyes welled up with tears, and he leaned over, resting his head on your lap. You tugged the blanket up slightly higher, covering his torso. You ran your hands through his hair and down his back, feeling the tension release from his body.
Unexpectedly, the tears continued to fall harder. Rafe’s breath caught in his throat as he heaved out a sob.
“You’re okay,” you cooed. “I’m here.”
He let out all the emotions he had been trained to hold back. Grown men didn’t cry. Strong men didn’t cry. This is what he was told over and over. No one ever let him express himself freely, or show vulnerability. For some reason, he felt safe to show it around you. Confident that you didn’t judge him, or view him as weak.
He didn’t realize how much he was craving to just be held. To have his hair played with, his back scratched. To be told it’s okay. He couldn’t remember a time when someone treated him so gently. He wondered if his mom was the last person who truly took care of him. Now, he felt responsible to take care of people around him most of the time.
“Talk to me,” you said. “What happened?”
“My dad,” he blurted out. He rubbed the tears from his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tried to compose himself. “We got into a fight, as always. I accused him of…of killing my mom.”
“What?” you asked, unable to hide the shock in your voice. “Do you really think…”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was too young, but sometimes what he says just doesn’t add up. Doesn’t matter anyway, not like anything would happen to him.”
You nodded silently, knowing he was right. Even if Ward had killed her, no justice would be had. You knew Rafe grappled with the loss of his mom. Rose wasn’t exactly a replacement. She was cold, unkind. Rafe was in a constant battle with Ward. Trying to impress him, get his validation. Rafe grew up wanting his dad’s success, but most of all he just wanted his love. His acceptance. He didn’t think he would ever have a real family. That possibility only came into view when he met you.
“I’m so sorry, Rafe,” you consoled him. “I know how tense things can get with your dad. My arms are always open if you need a break, or need to talk.”
He sat up from your lap, facing you. His eyes were bloodshot from his previous tears. His usually hard features had softened, his eyes still carrying a deep sadness that you knew you couldn’t fix.
“I’m going to tell everyone we’re together,” he told you. “You’re…you’re perfect. You don’t deserve to be hidden. I don’t deserve you in general.”
“It’s okay,” you whispered. “When you’re ready.”
“I’m ready,” he nodded. “I think…I think you’re the only person who actually cares about me. Who listens and…sees me.”
Your eyes welled up slightly. You weren’t expecting Rafe to say something so vulnerable like this. His rough edges were beginning to soften around you.
“I see you, Rafe,” you told him. You reached out and cupped the side of his face, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone.
He leaned forward, his warm lips crashing onto yours. The kiss was desperate, yet gentle. You didn’t realize how much you had missed this. When you pulled away, Rafe’s eyes were glistening once more.
“Everyone in my life leaves, or screws me over,” he told you, repeating his previous thoughts. “Please don’t leave me.”
You pulled him towards you, wrapping your arms around him. He melted into your touch, safety and warmth encompassing his entire being.
“I’m here, Rafe,” you whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”
You heard his stomach gurgle, making you let out a quiet chuckle. “Hungry?”
He nodded into the crook of your shoulder. You laughed once more as he pulled back, a smirk on his face.
“Let me make you something,” you told him. You planted a kiss on his cheek before standing up, placing the blanket over his carefully. “You just sit here and relax, okay?”
“I love when you take care of me, baby,” he murmured as he rested his head on the arm of the couch.
You smiled down at him before going into the kitchen to make him some food. He felt safe with you. You had to admit that your heart soared at the thought that you were the first person he came to after a fight with his dad. The first person he opened up to about his mom, to try in front of.
You didn’t even realize it would always be you. You would always be the first person he would run to, even in a crowded room.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
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solxamber · 1 month ago
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Holding Them and Not Letting Go with: First Years
the rest will be in a separate post <3
Others: Housewardens + Jamil ; Vice housewardens + Rollo, Neige
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Ace Trappola
Ace bounces into the room, still riding the high of his basketball victory. His grin is wide, and he’s practically glowing with confidence. “Alright, so are we going with Sprite or Coke for this exclusive VIP party?” he asks, digging through the mini fridge with exaggerated flair.
You don’t answer. Instead, you step closer and wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a firm hug.
He freezes for a second before letting out a laugh, his tone teasing. “Wow, I didn’t realize winning a game made me this irresistible.” He turns his head to try and catch your expression, expecting a playful retort, but when you don’t let go or even laugh, his teasing fades.
“Hey,” he says more softly, twisting slightly to look at you. “You good?”
You pull back just enough to meet his eyes, your hands still gripping his jersey. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you say, voice steady but warm. “I just… I love you, Ace. And I’m really, really proud of you.”
For a moment, he’s completely still, blinking at you like he can’t quite process your words. Then he lets out a shaky laugh, his arms coming up to pull you closer. “Don’t get all soft on me now,” he mutters, but there’s a tremor in his voice, and his hold on you is anything but casual.
Ace is the kind of guy who hides behind his jokes and bravado. He’s the loudest in the room, the one always cracking jokes to deflect attention from anything that might feel too serious or too vulnerable.
He plays it cool, like nothing ever really gets to him. But deep down, he’s always wondered if he’s enough—enough to be taken seriously, enough to make someone proud, enough to deserve the kind of unconditional love he’s always quietly craved.
Hearing you say those words, feeling the sincerity in your hug—it’s almost overwhelming. The teasing grin he wears so easily is replaced by something softer, something real.
He buries his face in your shoulder, his voice barely above a whisper. “Thanks,” he says, the single word carrying more weight than he usually lets on.
In your arms, Ace allows himself to feel it all—the pride, the love, the relief. He might joke about being irresistible or too cool for heartfelt moments, but the truth is, you make him feel like he doesn’t need to be anything other than himself. And that? That’s everything.
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Deuce Spade
Deuce sits at his desk, the faint sound of pencil scratches and frustrated sighs filling the room. His brow is furrowed, and his leg bounces anxiously under the table. “Why can’t I get this?” he mutters, flipping through his notes for the hundredth time. “I should know this by now. I have to get this right.”
You watch him for a moment, heart aching at the stress etched into his face. He’s always trying so hard—pushing himself to be the perfect honor student, the model example. You know how much he wants to prove himself, but sometimes, he forgets that it’s okay to lean on others.
Without a word, you walk over and wrap your arms around him. At first, Deuce stiffens in surprise, but the tension melts away almost instantly as he leans into your embrace. “Hey,” he says softly, his voice a little shaky. “What’s this for?”
You don’t answer right away, just holding him tightly. His hands come up to rest on your arms, his grip firm, like he’s drawing strength from you. After a moment, though, he shifts slightly, craning his neck to look at you.
“Are you okay?” he asks, concern lacing his voice. “You’ve been holding on for a while…”
You smile, shaking your head gently. “I’m fine. I just… I’m really proud of you, Deuce. I see how hard you work, how much you care about doing your best. I don’t think you hear it enough, but I’m proud of you.”
For a moment, he’s silent, his wide eyes searching yours like he’s trying to make sure you mean it. And then, without warning, he pulls you back into the hug, tighter this time, his arms wrapped around you like he never wants to let go.
Deuce has spent so much of his life trying to prove himself—to his mom, to his teachers, to his classmates. He worries constantly about whether he’s good enough, whether he’ll ever live up to the expectations he’s set for himself. Deep down, there’s a part of him that fears he’ll always be that hotheaded troublemaker he used to be, no matter how hard he tries to change.
But in your arms, all of that seems to fade. When you tell him you’re proud of him, it feels like a gift he doesn’t quite deserve, but one he’s so grateful for that it hurts. He doesn’t feel like he has to pretend to be perfect or have it all figured out—not with you.
“You’re… you’re the best,” he mumbles into your shoulder, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
To Deuce, you’re like a miracle—a gift from the Sevens themselves. Someone who sees him for who he is and believes in him even when he’s struggling to believe in himself. And as he holds you close, he silently vows to keep doing his best—not just for himself, but for you, too.
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Jack Howl
Jack sets the heavy crate down with ease, brushing his hands on his pants before glancing at you. “Alright, that’s the last one,” he says, his voice steady and sure. “You didn’t have to lift a finger. Told you I’d handle it.”
You smile at him, watching as he dusts himself off, the faintest sheen of sweat glistening on his brow. Jack always insists on doing the hard work, carrying the weight—literally and figuratively. He doesn’t complain, doesn’t ask for help, just powers through with quiet determination.
Before he can turn back to the next task, you step forward and wrap your arms around him. He stiffens slightly, caught off guard, but then his arms come up to hold you in return.
“What’s this for?” he asks, his voice soft but curious.
You don’t answer right away, simply holding him tighter. Jack stays quiet, but you can feel his tail wagging behind him, a faint swish against the ground. When you don’t let go, though, he starts to shift slightly, pulling back just enough to look at you.
“Hey, you okay?” he asks, concern evident in his tone. His ears flick nervously, his golden eyes scanning your face.
You smile up at him, shaking your head lightly. “I’m fine, Jack. I just… I just love you, and I’m really glad to have you in my life. You’re always looking out for me, always working so hard. I don’t think I say it enough, but I really appreciate you.”
For a moment, Jack just looks at you, his expression unreadable. Then, without a word, he pulls you back into the hug, his grip firm and grounding. He doesn’t say anything, but his tail betrays him, wagging faster now, practically spinning like a motor.
Jack isn’t used to hearing things like that. He’s always been the dependable one, the one people rely on but rarely the one people go out of their way to thank. There’s a part of him that wonders if he’s only valued for his strength, for what he can do rather than who he is. It’s a quiet insecurity, one he keeps buried deep, but it’s there all the same.
But when you hold him like this, when you tell him how much he means to you, it feels like a weight has been lifted. You don’t just see him as the reliable guy who carries the heavy stuff or takes care of the hard work. You see him—Jack, with all his flaws and strengths, and you love him anyway.
His tail thumps against the ground now, a silent giveaway to how much your words mean to him. He doesn’t need to say anything; the way he holds you, the way his tail wags furiously, tells you everything.
In your arms, Jack feels something he’s not sure he’s ever felt before—completely understood and appreciated for who he is, not just what he can do. And for him, that’s more than enough.
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Epel Felmier
The two of you were walking back to Ramshackle, Epel chatting animatedly about something funny that had happened during class. His hands were moving as he spoke, when a sudden whistling sound cut through the air.
You didn’t even have time to react before Epel’s hand shot out, summoning a precise burst of magic that sent the incoming magift disc flying back in the direction it came. It hit its mark with a loud clang before tumbling harmlessly to the ground.
“Idiots need to watch where they’re aiming,” he muttered, brushing it off like it was nothing. Then, without missing a beat, he reached for your hand, his grip firm yet casual as he led you back toward your dorm.
The moment you stepped inside, you turned to him, your arms wrapping around him tightly. He let out a small, surprised “Whoa,” his hands instinctively coming up to hold you back.
“Hey, what’s this for?” he asked, his voice tinged with curiosity and a bit of embarrassment. He hugged you back anyway, his fingers lightly rubbing your back, but when you didn’t pull away, his expression shifted to concern.
“You alright?” he asked, leaning back just enough to look at your face. “Did that disc scare ya? I didn’t think—”
“I’m fine,” you interrupted softly, squeezing him tighter. “I just love you, Epel. And that was so cool. You were so quick, and you didn’t even hesitate. I’m… I’m really lucky to have you.”
Epel blinked, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to process your words. Then, as your words sank in, his cheeks flushed a deep pink, and his lips curled into a small, bashful smile.
“You think… I’m cool?” he asked, his voice almost timid, as if he didn’t quite believe it.
“I know you are,” you said, your tone firm and sincere.
Something in him seemed to shift at that. Epel pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you tightly now, his chin resting lightly on your shoulder.
He’d spent so much of his life feeling like he had to prove himself—to his family, to his classmates, even to himself. Being underestimated because of his height or his face had always left a bitter taste in his mouth, pushing him to work harder, fight stronger, and shout louder just to be taken seriously.
But in this moment, none of that mattered. You didn’t see him as fragile or weak, didn’t treat him like someone who needed to prove anything. You saw him for who he was, and you loved him for it.
The warmth in his chest spread to his face as he buried it against your neck, his arms tightening just a little more. He didn’t say anything for a moment, letting the silence speak for him.
When he finally did speak, his voice was quiet but steady. “I’m lucky to have you too, y’know. More’n I deserve.”
You smiled, holding him just as tightly, letting your presence remind him that he was already more than enough. For the first time in a long time, Epel felt like he didn’t need to prove a thing. You thought he was cool, and that was all he needed to hear.
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Sebek Zigvolt
Sebek was mid-sentence, his voice rising in animated fervor.
“And that’s why this tale of heroism directly correlates to Lord Malleus's own virtues! Truly, how could anyone miss the resemblance? Why, if they merely paid attention—”
You didn’t let him finish. Stepping forward, you wrapped your arms around him tightly, pressing your cheek against his chest.
Sebek froze instantly, the words dying in his throat. “Wha—? What are you doing?!” His voice pitched higher, equal parts flustered and confused.
His arms hovered awkwardly for a moment before he tentatively settled them around you, his usual composure crumbling. “Are you hurt? Is something wrong? Speak to me at once!”
When you didn’t respond immediately, Sebek’s grip tightened slightly, and he pulled back just enough to inspect you, his eyes scanning your face with concern. “What has happened? Are you unwell?”
You smiled softly at him, your fingers curling into his uniform as you leaned back into his chest. “I’m fine, Sebek. Really. I just love you.”
Sebek blinked, his mouth opening and closing as your words sank in. He seemed at a rare loss for words as you continued, “I love how passionate you are, how much you care about the things and people you love. It makes me love you even more.”
For a moment, he said nothing, his lips pressed together tightly. Then, without warning, he hugged you back gently, yet firmly, his arms encircling you as though he was afraid you’d vanish if he let go.
“...I see,” he said finally, his voice quieter than usual.
Sebek had spent so much of his life trying to live up to expectations—his own, his family’s, even the ones he imagined Malleus might have for him. He had always been painfully aware of his mixed heritage and the silent whispers it inspired, of the way his fiery temper and unwavering loyalty often set him apart from others.
Yet with you, none of that seemed to matter. You didn’t judge him for his intensity or his quirks; you embraced them, cherished them, even. And in moments like this, when he felt your arms around him and heard your steady words of love, he was reminded that he didn’t need to prove himself to you.
You saw him—not just as a knight or a servant, but as Sebek.
“I…” His voice wavered for a moment before he steadied it. “I love you as well.”
The words were simple, but the way his arms tightened around you spoke volumes. For all his loud proclamations and larger-than-life demeanor, Sebek’s love was quiet and steadfast, an anchor that held firm against any storm.
And as he rested his chin atop your head, silently committing this moment to memory, he realized something: as long as he had you, everything else seemed just a little less important.
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Masterlist
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uzurakis · 6 months ago
Note
Hiii I have a bllk request- Sae and/or Kaisers reactions to their gf getting hit on :)))
Have a great day/night thank youuu :))
TRYNA GET WHAT’S MINE?!
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featuring: michael kaiser. itoshi sae. itoshi rin. ryusei shidou.
n. i needed to rewrite your entire request again because the moment i clicked save, tumblrdotcom decided to not save it for me (yes, i wrote it directly in the drafts) + i didn’t proofread (too lazy). and well nonnie, this is ur req ^^ hope ya have an amazing day/night too :D
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MICHAEL KAISER. you offered a polite smile, glancing around for kaiser. “why, thank you,” you replied, trying to keep the conversation brief. “i’m actually here with someone.”
the man ignored your hint and continued, “well, he’s a lucky guy. mind if i keep you company until he returns?”
just then, kaiser appeared, two champagne flutes in hand. his red eyeliner narrowed slightly as he took in the scene. with a dramatic flourish, he stepped between you and the man. “hey! am i interrupting something? oh wait, i am! oops.” your boyfriend grinned, feigning innocence.
the man hadn’t responded when kaiser slid an arm around your waist and pulled you close. he planted a loud, exaggerated kiss on your cheek, making sure everyone nearby could see. “just marking my territory. nothing to see here, buddy.”
“alright then,” the man raised his hands, clearly taken aback. “no need to get possessive. i’ll leave you two to it.”
as the man walked away, kaiser turned to you with a playful smirk. “but looks like you have an admirer. should i be worried, mein liebling?”
“not at all, mr. jealous, not at all.” you said laughing whilst lightly smacking his chest.
“good. because i’d hate to have to fend off any more admirers tonight. it’s exhausting work.”
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ITOSHI SAE. “my partner is waiting for me, sorry,” you shifted uncomfortably, glancing in the direction where sae had gone. “oh, come on, don’t be like that,” the stranger persisted, leaning in even closer. “one dance wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
then however, you felt a familiar presence beside you. sae had returned, his face a mask of cold fury. “is there a problem here?” he asked, voice sharp and his eyes glaring daggers at the stranger.
the stranger straightened up, taken aback by sae’s sudden appearance. “uh, no, man. just talking to her.”
sae’s grip on your wrist tightened. “this party is boring. we’re leaving,” he said, didn’t even bother to wait for the guy’s response. he guided you away, his hand firmly holding yours.
when you both walked out of the venue, sae’s pace was brisk, his silence fuming with barely-contained jealousy. it was emanating, you could feel the tension radiating from him. just before you exited, sae threw one final, icy look back at the guy who had hit on you.
once outside, you stopped, pulling gently on sae’s hand to slow him down. “sae, it’s okay,” you said softly, trying to calm him.
he stopped, turning to face you, his eyes still burning with anger. “it’s not?” he said, voice low and intense. “i just can’t stand the thought of anyone else trying to take what’s mine,” he admitted, tone rough with emotion.
“let’s just, get out of here. i need to be alone with you.”
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ITOSHI RIN. you took a step back, trying to maintain a polite distance. “no, i’m not interested.” but the guy ignored your words, moving closer. “just your instagram, perhaps?”
out of the blue, rin appeared beside you, his presence commanding immediate attention. his eyes, usually more relaxed and lousy, had turned cold and hard, like shards of ice. he stepped between you and the guy, movements sharp and precise, as if he were a predator cornering its prey.
“you should be careful who you hit on,” rin said, voice low and menacing. each word was enunciated with a deadly calm. the guy hesitated, clearly intimidated by rin’s intense gaze and threatening tone. he swallowed hard, the confident smirk slipping from his face. “i . . i didn’t mean any harm,” he stammered, bravado evaporating under rin’s piercing stare.
rin took a step forward, closing the gap even more. his shoulders were squared, and his posture much radiated authority and danger. “move along,” he ordered, voice dropping to a deadly whisper that brooked no argument, “get out of my sight.” the menace in his tone was unmistakable, as if each syllable dripping with venom.
rin nodded, his gaze still scanning the crowd for any potential threats. “you and i stick together for the rest of the night. i don’t want to leave your side.”
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RYUSEI SHIDOU. as you were nibbling on a canapé, a guy approached with a charming smile. “hey there, beautiful. enjoying the party?” you smiled politely. “yes, it’s quite nice.” next, he leaned in slightly, clearly interested. “i couldn’t help but notice you from across the room. want me to fetch us a drink?”
seconds before your words intended to sprung out, you felt familiar arms wrap around you from behind. shidou pulled you close, the presence of him leaving a mark of possesiveness. “careful,” he said whilst eyeing the stranger, his voice remarkably stayed playful, “she’s a heartbreaker. trust me, i know.”
you laughed, shaking your head. “liieess. i am not.”
the guy looked a bit taken aback by shidou’s sudden appearance and casual demeanor. shidou, however, was completely unfazed. he gave you a playful squeeze, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“so,” shidou said, turning his attention to you for a second time, “who do you think has better biceps? him or me?” he flexed one arm slightly, showcasing his muscles under his short sleeve as if the stranger wasn’t even there.
you couldn’t help but giggle at the absurdity of the situation, playing along with shidou’s antics with your style. “aww baby, you know the answer already. now you’re going to make him apprehensive.”
shidou grinned, giving you another squeeze. “just making sure you know who the real winner is here.”
the guy, sensing he was outmatched, finally surrendered. “i get it. i’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”
he walked away, and you turned in shidou’s arms to face him and no words, you only chuckled at him. shidou shrugged, “y’know, i hafta keep things interesting, baby.”
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@uzurakis
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dovesdreaming · 4 months ago
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Breaking point
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Summary: Mattheo gets into too many fights and reader has enough and calls off their relationship. However she is still the only person that can get through to him.
Masterlist
Warnings: none
-
The tension in the Slytherin common room had been growing for weeks. Whispers about Mattheo Riddle’s temper and the fights he kept getting into were spreading through Hogwarts like wildfire. You had always been the one to pull him back from the edge, the calming voice that stopped him mid-fight with just a touch or a few soft words. But lately, Mattheo had been slipping further and further away from you, consumed by anger he couldn’t control, and no matter what you did, it was as if your voice no longer reached him.
It was a late Friday evening when you found yourself yet again pulling Mattheo away from a confrontation with some Gryffindor seventh year. You could see the rage in his eyes, his fists clenched, ready to throw a punch that would surely land him another detention or worse. “Mattheo, please” you said, stepping between him and the other boy. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. “He’s not worth it. Just let it go”. Mattheo’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might listen. But then, with a harsh shove, he pushed past you, shouting insults as he launched himself at his opponent. The scene that followed was a blur of yells, fists, and teachers trying to pull them apart.
As you watched him get dragged away by Professor Snape, something inside you snapped. You had been his anchor for so long, always there to soothe his stormy temper, but he wouldn’t even listen to you anymore. You couldn’t keep doing this, being the only one holding on when he was so intent on self-destruction.
That night in the doorway of your dorm room you let it all out. He had come back after whatever had happened seeking your forgiveness like usual but you couldn’t let him back in this time. He was not only destroying himself, he was taking you with him. It had taken a toll on you and you couldn’t carry on like this.
“I can’t do this anymore, Mattheo!” you whisper yelled, your voice breaking as tears threatened to spill. Mattheo’s face fell, his bravado crumbling. “Y/N, don’t-“ “No, Mattheo! I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard to calm you down, to be there for you, but you don’t even care. You don’t care about me, about us!” Your voice cracked, and you hated how vulnerable you sounded. “I love you, but I can’t keep watching you hurt yourself. I can’t keep being the only one trying”.
The whole building seemed to go painfully quiet. Mattheo looked at you with wide, desperate eyes, his anger replaced with a deep, crushing sorrow. “Y/N, please-“ But you couldn’t bear it anymore. Shaking your head, you turned and closed your door, leaving him standing there alone.
The days that followed were miserable. Mattheo barely left his room, and when he did, he was a shadow of the boy you knew, pale, quiet, and heartbreakingly empty. Draco, Blaise, and Pansy tried to get through to him, but Mattheo’s door remained locked, and his mood only worsened. You weren’t much better, you threw yourself into your studies, trying to forget the hurt in Mattheo’s eyes when you walked away. But every corner of Hogwarts seemed to hold a memory of him, his laughter echoing in the dungeons, the way he’d pull you close in the common room, whispering secrets only you were meant to hear.
“You have to talk to him” Pansy said one afternoon, catching you in the library. Her voice was uncharacteristically gentle, eyes flickering with genuine concern. “He’s a mess without you. He’s not eating or taking care of himself” Pansy knew it was wrong to ask this of you but there was no one else that would be able to get through to Mattheo. You felt a pang in your chest, your anger giving way to concern. You hadn’t seen Mattheo in nearly a week, and the thought of him alone, suffering in silence, broke your heart. You hesitated, your pride battling against the concern gnawing at your heart. “Pansy, I-“. “He won’t listen to any of us. Not even Draco” she interrupted. “But he’ll listen to you. You’re the only one who can reach him”.
Taking a deep breath, you finally nodded, feeling the weight of what you were about to do. You made your way to the Slytherin boys’ dormitory, knocking softly on Mattheo’s door. There was no answer, just the faint sound of something shuffling inside. You tried again, louder this time. “Mattheo, it’s me”.
Silence stretched on, and just when you thought he wouldn’t respond and were about to turn to walk away, the door creaked open. He looked disheveled, his hair messier than usual, eyes red and swollen. He glanced at you, then away, shame and sadness evident in every line of his face. “What do you want?” His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. You forced yourself through the crack in the door and stepped inside, closing the door gently behind you. “I just… I wanted to see you. Make sure you’re okay”. You looked at the ground not really knowing how to go about this. He scoffed, but it lacked any real bite. “Do I look okay?”. You sighed, crossing the room to sit beside him on the edge of his bed. “Mattheo, I didn’t break up with you because I stopped caring. I broke up with you because you were hurting yourself. And it was hurting me, too”.
His gaze finally met yours, and the vulnerability there made your chest tighten. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, voice breaking. “I just, everything feels wrong without you. I know I messed up”. You reached out, taking his hand in yours. “I’m not asking you to be perfect, Matty. I just need you to try. I need you to promise me that you’ll stop fighting. You don’t have to be angry all the time. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone”. For a long moment, he said nothing, just held your hand like it was the only thing keeping him afloat. Finally, he nodded, squeezing your hand tighter. “I promise. No more fighting. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you” Tears welled up in your eyes, and you pulled him into a tight embrace. He buried his face in your shoulder, letting out a shuddering breath as if he’d been holding it in for far too long. You stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other, the weight of the past few weeks slowly lifting. “Thank you” he whispered, pulling back just enough to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “For not giving up on me”. You smiled, brushing a stray curl away from his face. “I’ll always be here, Mattheo. Just… no more fights, okay?”. He chuckled, the sound light and genuine, the first hint of the old Mattheo breaking through. “No more fights. I’ve got something better to fight for now”. You knew there was a lot of learning to do but you had faith that Mattheo could work on himself. And as he pulled you closer, you knew that whatever happened next, you’d face it together.
-
Thank you for reading! Please send requests for him!! Also tempted to make a longer version of this with a lot more angst??
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yandere-romanticaa · 5 months ago
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"You know..." he trailed off, his voice gruff but cool. Two fingers danced across the countertop as you chopped the potatoes sloppily, as you were still not quite adept with handling a knife.
He continues. "... You would be a really nagging wife, did anyone ever tell you that?"
A scoff escapes you but even so, you chop. It's a little hard trying to focus on cooking all the while this idiot keeps trying to rile you up like crazy. Why was he even here, who even invited him? Yeah, he was popular around town and it wasn't uncommon for him to hop from place to place, regardless of what it may be. Be it someone's house, a bar, a club, a gaming center, it honestly didn't matter.
It just freaked you out how he was slowly morphing into the shadow you never wished to have.
"Is that so?" You ask him sarcastically, your face schooled into an unreadable expression. The smell of delicious spices enveloped the whole kitchen and it made you even hungrier. You were going to kill your friend for allowing this god awful fiend inside here. Refusing to turn to him, you still probed him.
"Don't marry me then, I never asked for your opinion to begin with."
He's stunned for a millisecond before regaining his composure, a booming laugh soon reverberated across the entire room. He clutched his chest a little, as if you had just told him the funniest joke in the whole wide world.
In a way, it was.
He, despite his bravado, wouldn't mind having such crummy a wife by his side.
He was living the good life and nothing could stop him. But there was just something about you, something that would always make him take a step back and think. It was so cute how you were trying to concentrate on making a tasty meal for himself, of course he was going to steal a little later.
He adored your cooking, even if it could get sloppy at times.
The "you'd be a bad/annoying/nagging wife" thing started off as something to humor him, and to piss you off naturally. Nothing brought him greater satisfaction than to see a scowl on your face and just straight up ruin your day. It was exhilarating to watch the light in your eyes crumble the moment he took a breath of air which came from your direction, let alone actually come to you.
It didn't hit him that he was actively interested in you.
He never even realized just how many of your dumb little habits he had picked up on, just how many times he had to stop himself from doing more than he already did because he didn't want to give you the wrong idea.
He doesn't like you, he thinks you're a fool. Plain and simple, just like that.
It doesn't matter that his heart beats so much faster at the mere thought of you, it doesn't matter that he started to fantasize how you would look like if you were his actual wife.... To come home to you, in your soft embrace as a meal was ready for him...
No matter. He'll trick, tease and steal from you as much as he possibly can.
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🎀 Gilgamesh (Fate), Bakugo Katsuki, Dabi, Hawks (BNHA), Gojo Satoru (JJK), Guren Ichinose (Seraph of the End), Ayato Sakamaki, Laito Sakamaki (Diabolik Lovers), Satori Tendo (Haikyuu!), Aalto (Wuthering Waves)
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jungwnies · 8 days ago
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F1 GRID | somewhere along the way, friendship fades
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୨ৎ : featuring : max verstappen, lewis hamilton, george russell, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris, oscar piastri ୨ৎ : synopsis : childhood best friends drift apart, their connection fading with time. and years later, meeting again.
୨ৎ : genre : angst, sad themes ୨ৎ : tws : arguing ୨ৎ : word count : 3499
୨ masterlist ৎ
ᡣ𐭩 a/n : i was watching "our little secret" on netflix and i got inspired to do this :c def a 10/10 watch
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ʚ・max verstappen
the smell of burnt rubber and stroopwafels defined your childhood. growing up as the daughter of one of the engineers, your playground was the karting track, and your partner in crime was max, who seemed to never catch a break. scraped knees, stolen frites, and endless races—it was always a competition. and even though he was faster, you never let him win easily.
“you’re getting slow,” you’d tease when he’d lap you, and he’d fire back, “or maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.”
but childhood doesn’t last forever. as max’s talent propelled him forward, your worlds began to split. he moved to monaco, chasing the formula 1 dream, while you stayed home, building a life far from the roar of engines.
the breaking point came during one of his rare calls. you told him about getting into university, excitement bubbling through the phone.
“that’s great,” he said, but his voice was distant. “i’ve got a strategy meeting. i’ll call you later, okay?”
“but max—”
the line went dead before you could finish.
you never called back. neither did he. the silence was deafening, only broken by headlines about his victories.
years passed. you built your career, surrounded yourself with people who cared about you. still, there was always that quiet ache, a max-shaped hole you couldn’t quite fill.
...
fate intervened in monaco, of all places. a work trip brought you to the grand prix weekend, and there he was—older, sharper, surrounded by reporters. the boy you knew had grown into a man, but the familiar intensity in his blue eyes was still there.
he spotted you, and for a moment, time rewound. “you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said, smirking as he pulled you into a hug.
“you’re really here,” max said, his voice even but his eyes giving him away.
“don’t sound too surprised,” you replied, crossing your arms. “monaco isn’t exactly hard to find, and my dad forced me to accompany him.”
he huffed a laugh, scratching the back of his neck—a gesture you remembered all too well. “it’s just... been a while.”
“whose fault is that?” you shot back, eyebrow raised.
his grin faltered, replaced by something softer, more sincere. “mine,” he admitted, no hesitation. max had never been one to dance around the truth. “i messed up. i thought... if i focused on racing, everything else would just stay in place. but it didn’t. i didn’t.”
you blinked, caught off guard by the honesty. “and now?”
“now?” he shrugged, his lips twitching into a small smirk. “now i know better. or at least, i’m trying to.”
you rolled your eyes, but your chest felt lighter. “trying might actually suit you.”
“don’t push it,” he said, his grin returning. but his hand brushed yours, lingering just long enough to say what words couldn’t.
the two of you walked along the harbor, the chaos of the grand prix fading into the background. max talked about the weight of expectations, the need to prove himself, and you found yourself telling him things you hadn’t said aloud in years.
“you know,” he said eventually, glancing at you, “you were the first person to beat me. that’s why i kept coming back.”
you laughed, shaking your head. “don’t tell me i’m your origin story, verstappen.”
“i’m serious,” he said, his tone light but his gaze steady. “you pushed me. you still do.”
“and you still hate losing,” you replied, your smile widening.
“only to you,” he said, and for once, there was no teasing in his voice—just max, stripped of the bravado.
as the sun dipped below the horizon, you realized the years apart hadn’t erased what you meant to each other. instead, they’d made it clearer. and standing there with him, the boy who always chased the fastest lap and the man who’d finally stopped running, you felt like you’d found your way back home.
ʚ・lewis hamilton
the skate park beneath the london flyover, painted with graffiti and echoing with the rattle of skateboards, was where it all began. you and lewis—two kids with scraped knees and bigger dreams than you dared to say aloud. he was magnetic even then, always the showman, flipping tricks with effortless swagger while you rolled your eyes, trying not to laugh when he wiped out.
“you see that?” he’d grin, brushing off the dust like he hadn’t just landed flat on his back. “one day, everyone will.”
you’d shake your head, hiding your smile. “maybe if you stop showing off and stick the landing.”
those nights under london’s orange-tinted sky were your sanctuary. but dreams have a way of pulling people in different directions. lewis chased his at 200 mph, trading the skate park for circuits around the world. and you? you stayed grounded, carving out a life with your own quiet determination.
the drift wasn’t dramatic, just... inevitable. the calls came less often, the texts faded, and soon the only glimpses you had of him were on tv, his victories splashed across headlines. you were proud, of course, but it didn’t make the distance hurt any less.
years later, the rhythm of a jazz club in soho pulled you in. the smoky air, the hum of conversation—it felt like stepping into another world. and there he was, sitting in the corner, surrounded by friends, his laugh carrying over the music. he looked... different. calmer, more self-assured, the bravado softened into something real.
his eyes met yours across the room, and the recognition was instant. that signature grin spread across his face, and before you could overthink it, he was already walking toward you.
“it’s been a minute,” he said, his voice warm, familiar.
“a few laps around the world, at least,” you replied, crossing your arms but unable to stop your smile.
he introduced you to his friends—musicians, artists, people with the same kind of restless ambition he always had. the conversation flowed easily, stories and laughter filling the gaps left by the years. lewis talked about the weight of being at the top, his growing love for music, fashion, and using his platform for something bigger than himself.
“you’ve always been good at making noise,” you teased, and he laughed, that bright, unrestrained laugh you hadn’t heard in so long.
the night stretched into dawn, the city quieting as he walked you home. the streetlights cast long shadows, and for a moment, it felt like you were kids again, sneaking through the city after curfew.
“you were always my reminder,” he said suddenly, his voice low. “of where i came from. of what mattered before all of... this.” he gestured vaguely, as if the world he now lived in was too vast to put into words.
“and you were always proof,” you replied softly, “that even the wildest dreams aren’t out of reach.”
standing on your doorstep, the first light of morning brushing the horizon, it hit you—this wasn’t just a chance meeting. this was a reconnection, built on the foundation of a shared past and the people you’d become in the years since.
“don’t disappear again,” you said, half a command, half a plea.
“not a chance,” he replied, that grin softening into something more serious. “i’ve got too much catching up to do.”
as he walked away, the city waking around you, you felt it: the bond you’d thought you’d lost was still there, stronger for the time apart. and maybe, just maybe, this was the start of a new chapter you hadn’t seen coming.
ʚ・george russell
the beach at brancaster felt like a time capsule—same crashing waves, same salty breeze, but now heavy with memories you couldn’t quite shake. summers here used to be everything. you and george, running barefoot through the sand, laughing until your sides ached, dreaming of futures too big for this sleepy little town. he was the dreamer, always looking ahead, while you stayed grounded, the one to remind him where he came from.
but dreams pulled him away. karting turned into formula 1, and suddenly, the boy you shared chips and inside jokes with was a name on TV, surrounded by lights and cameras. the texts slowed, then stopped. he didn’t say goodbye—you weren’t sure if that made it better or worse.
years later, you came back. the town had changed, but the beach hadn’t, and neither had the ache you felt when you saw him standing there, surfboard in hand, staring at the water like it might hold answers.
“you’re here,” he said, voice softer than you remembered.
“so are you,” you replied, trying to sound casual when your heart was doing backflips.
the conversation was awkward at first, years of silence sitting heavy between you. but as the sun dipped low, you found yourself talking like you used to—about life, dreams, and all the things you didn’t say before.
“i messed up,” george admitted finally, staring at the horizon. “i thought chasing my dream meant letting go of everything else. but i never stopped missing you.”
you wanted to be angry, to tell him how much it hurt, but instead, you just sighed. “you’re here now. that’s what matters.”
and maybe it was. because as the tide rolled in, washing away the old scars, it felt like a new beginning—not perfect, but something worth holding onto.
ʚ・carlos sainz
the spanish sun blazed down on the dusty karting track, heat shimmering off the asphalt. carlos was already revving his engine, leaning out of his kart with that trademark grin—the kind that got him out of trouble more times than you could count. "you ready, or are you still fussing over those tires?" he teased, voice playful but competitive.
"some of us like to win without excuses," you shot back, trying to mask your smile.
that was always the dynamic: his fiery, carefree confidence against your calculated focus. you made each other better, but more than that, you were each other's constant—until you weren't.
his talent took him places you couldn't follow. as carlos climbed higher, from karting circuits to formula 1, the calls came less, the visits stopped. he’d always promised, "don’t worry, we’ll figure it out," but the silence between you became louder than any excuse he could give. you told yourself it was fine, that this was just what growing up looked like. but it still hurt—a kind of quiet ache that settled in your chest every time his name flashed on a headline instead of your phone.
years later, you found yourself at a grand prix—not for him, not really, but you couldn’t stay away. the roar of engines, the smell of burning rubber—it all brought you back to those summers when life was simpler, when the world was just the two of you and a dusty track.
after the race, you wandered near the paddock, unsure if you wanted to see him. but before you could decide, you heard his voice: "¡tú! no puede ser…" (you! no way…)
you froze as carlos jogged toward you, his face lighting up in a way that made your chest tighten. "what are you doing here?" he asked, pulling you into a hug before you could respond.
"just watching the race," you said, trying to sound casual. "looks like you’ve gotten a bit better since karting."
he laughed, running a hand through his hair. "and you’re still a pain in my ass, huh?"
you fell into step beside him, talking as if the years hadn’t stretched so far between you. he opened up in a way you didn’t expect—about the pressure, the loneliness, the weight of expectations he never asked for. "sometimes, i miss the old days," he admitted quietly. "it wasn’t perfect, but… it felt real."
"it was real," you said softly, meeting his gaze.
the night slipped by as you talked about everything and nothing, the gap between who you were and who you’d become slowly closing. as the paddock emptied out, he turned to you, his expression uncharacteristically serious.
"i let you down," he said, voice low. "i got so caught up in everything… i didn’t mean to lose you."
you sighed, the bitterness you’d held onto finally starting to loosen. "i let you go, too," you admitted. "but maybe we’re both here for a reason."
a smile broke through his guilt. "then let’s not waste it," he said, his hand brushing yours as if testing the waters.
and just like that, it felt like the beginning of something new—different, but maybe even better. under the dim glow of the paddock lights, with the distant hum of the city, you let yourself believe in second chances.
ʚ・charles leclerc
the monaco grand prix had always been your thing. after every race, you and charles would sneak onto the track, the echo of engines still ringing in your ears. he’d climb the barriers, striking a dramatic pose like he’d just won. “take a picture! i need proof for when it’s real,” he’d say, grinning as you rolled your eyes but clicked the photo anyway.
back then, it was simple—just the two of you, two dreamers chasing something bigger. he was the wild one, always pushing limits, and you? the voice of reason, his constant tether. but as the karting trophies turned into f3 contracts, things shifted. the calls became shorter, the silences longer.
“you don’t understand!” he snapped one night, frustration simmering in his voice. “this is my life now. my future.”
“and we’re not part of that?” you shot back, fighting to keep your tone steady.
his face faltered, a flicker of guilt crossing his features. but then came the stubbornness, the pride. “this is bigger than us,” he said quietly.
those words broke something between you. and the silence that followed stretched for years.
...
monaco hadn’t been in your plans this year, but your friends dragged you to the paddock. the glitz, the champagne—it all felt so distant from the memories you held of sneaking around with charles, pretending to be part of the action. and then, there he was. sharper, leaner, every inch the f1 star. but when his eyes locked on yours, the familiar spark was unmistakable.
“still sneaking into races?” his grin was crooked, teasing.
“you’re one to talk,” you quipped, unable to suppress a smile.
he muttered a quick excuse to his entourage, then turned back to you. “come on. let’s see if the harbor’s still our spot.”
as you walked, the years apart melted away. the easy rhythm returned—teasing, laughing, sharing the unspoken weight of the years. he opened up about the pressures, the loneliness. you admitted the regret, the what-ifs.
“i never stopped missing this,” he said, his voice quieter than you’d ever heard it. “missing you.”
“same,” you replied, meeting his gaze. “you were always...charles.”
“what does that mean?” he asked, a laugh escaping, but there was an edge of nervousness to it.
“it means you’re impossible. but you’re also...you.”
under the stars, by the water’s edge, the pieces fell back into place. his hand brushed against yours, tentative, before settling there. “so, is this where you tell me to stop being impossible?”
“never,” you said, smiling. “you wouldn’t be charles if you did.”
and for the first time in years, it felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
ʚ・lando norris
the fields of somerset were your world once, filled with the roar of go-kart engines and lando’s endless laughter. you two were inseparable—best friends with big dreams, racing not just for fun but for a future you both believed in.
“one day,” lando had said, his grin so wide it was almost ridiculous, “we’ll both be there, except i'll be on the track, and you'll be cheering me on."
“in your dreams, lando,” you shot back, playfully shoving him.
but then the dream started to come true, lando got faster, better, and soon, he was gone, swept up by the racing world. at first, he called after every race, sending photos and jokes to bridge the distance. but the calls became fewer, the texts shorter, until one day they stopped altogether.
“you’ll always be my mate,” he’d promised before he left. but you weren’t so sure anymore.
years passed. you moved on—or tried to. then, one day, you found yourself at silverstone, sitting in the grandstands as the engines roared to life. lando was on the grid, his helmet unmistakable. it felt strange, watching him from so far away, like a stranger instead of the boy you once knew.
after the race, you lingered near the paddock, unsure why you stayed. you didn’t even realize he was there until his voice cut through the noise.
“wait—wait! is that…?” lando stopped mid-step, his wide eyes locking on you. “no way!”
you tried to play it cool, shrugging. “just thought i’d check if you’re still slow.”
his laugh was instant, that same contagious laugh you hadn’t heard in years. “still cheeky, i see. c’mon, don’t just stand there.”
before you could protest, he dragged you into the paddock, his energy as chaotic as ever. it felt awkward at first—forced small talk, apologies buried under nervous jokes.
“i messed up, didn’t i?” he blurted suddenly, his grin fading. “i got caught up in… all of this. forgot what mattered.”
you looked at him, surprised. “yeah, you did. but… i guess i get it. it’s a lot to carry.”
“still,” he said softly, meeting your eyes. “i should’ve tried harder. you didn’t deserve that.”
you sighed, the tension in your chest easing slightly. “well, i’m here now, aren’t i? so stop being sappy and tell me how you survived that awful start.”
he laughed, a mix of relief and gratitude in his expression. “god, you're still an ass. don’t go disappearing again, yeah?”
“only if you don’t.” you snap back, with a cheeky smile.
as the night went on, the awkwardness gave way to something familiar—something that felt like home. and as you left the paddock, lando jogging beside you, stealing chips from your hand like nothing had changed, you realized it wasn’t too late to start over. the bond you thought was lost was still there, waiting for you both to remember how to hold on.
ʚ・oscar piastri
the family barbecue was meant to be casual—just a gathering of old friends and neighbors at the piastris’ home during the off-season. you hadn’t planned to go, but your parents insisted. “it’ll be nice,” they said, not knowing how wrong they were.
you spotted oscar almost immediately, standing by the grill with his dad. his posture was the same, hands stuffed in his pockets, but everything else felt different. gone was the boy you knew, replaced by someone who looked sharper, more distant—someone who belonged to a world you’d never been part of.
the last time you’d spoken was years ago, before his meteoric rise through motorsport. back then, you were the ones sharing data sheets, racing each other at karting events, and joking about who’d make it to formula 1 first. “we’ll always stick together,” he’d said, almost solemnly. but as the sponsorship deals rolled in and the calls stopped, you realized how naïve that promise had been.
you didn’t approach him right away. instead, you lingered by the drink table, hoping he wouldn’t notice you. but oscar was nothing if not observant.
“hey,” he said suddenly, appearing at your side. his voice was quieter than you remembered, less certain.
“hi.” you didn’t look at him, keeping your eyes fixed on your cup.
“i didn’t know you’d be here.” he sounded awkward, almost nervous, which was strange for someone who now handled press conferences with ease.
you shrugged. “didn’t really plan on it.”
a beat of silence stretched between you, heavy and uncomfortable. he shifted his weight, running a hand through his hair. “look, i—i’m sorry. for everything.”
you finally turned to him, eyebrows raised. “for what? forgetting i existed?”
his face fell, and for a moment, he looked just like the boy you used to know—unsure, searching for the right words. “i didn’t mean to. things just… happened so fast. and i didn’t know how to balance it all.”
“you could’ve tried.” the words came out harsher than you intended, but you didn’t regret them.
he nodded, his gaze dropping to the ground. “you’re right. i should have.”
another silence fell, this one softer, less suffocating.
“so,” you said eventually, crossing your arms. “what now? we pretend like nothing happened?”
he looked up, meeting your eyes for the first time. “no. i don’t want that. i just… i’d like to fix this. if you’ll let me.”
you didn’t answer right away, letting the words hang in the air. but then you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “you’ve got a lot to make up for, oscar.”
his own smile broke through, hesitant but genuine. “i’ll start now then.”
and for the first time in years, you felt like maybe—just maybe—there was still a place for you in his world.
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hoshifighting · 5 months ago
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seventeen getting caught masturbating
seungcheol being caught masturbating by you was the last thing you expected tonight. seungcheol’s eyes widen in surprise before he quickly hides under the sheets, biting his lip in embarrassment. you can’t help but smirk as you approach, your hand wrapping around his cock through the fabric. his hips buck involuntarily, eyes rolling back, “oh god,” he moans desperately, unable to control himself. “you’re gonna make me cum,” he moans all sulky :(
jeonghan’s usually composed demeanor crumbles. he’s shyer than he thought he’d be, yet he keeps his eyes glued to you, stroking himself. “help me or leave,” he whispers, his voice shaky. you move closer, and his breath hitches, knowing he’s close to the edge just from your presence.
joshua gasps, scrambling to dress himself. but your presence in the doorway, that sly grin on your face, stops him. he hesitates, then slowly starts to undress again, uncertainty and arousal blending in his eyes. “don’t just stand there,” he mutters, cheeks flushed, “come here.”
junhui’s reaction is almost comical in its speed. he covers himself in an instant, but when he realizes you’re not buying it, he gives in, voice soft with a plea. “can you help me?” he asks, his need evident. you oblige, and the gratitude in his eyes is unmistakable as he falls apart under your touch.
hoshi doesn’t notice you at first, too lost in the sensations, eyes closed as he bucks into his hand. when he finally does see you, he screams, making you jump. even then, his hand doesn’t stop, a muffled moan slipping past his lips as he covers his mouth. “please,” he whispers, and you can’t resist helping him finish.
wonwoo when you open the door quietly, not expecting the sight before you. his body tenses immediately, his eyes wide with embarrassment. without his glasses, he only sees your silhouette, and he’s terrified. he scrambles to cover himself, but it’s too late. he mutters a quick, “sorry,” before bolting to another room, leaving you speechless in the doorway. the sound of a door slamming shut echoes down the hall. after a moment, the bathroom door opens, and there he is, dressed and composed, but still visibly flustered. he approaches you hesitantly, his hand reaching out to yours, and you know exactly what that means. “I guess I have no reason to be shy, right? after all, you seemed to like it...”
woozi immediately sulks, glaring at you. “you said you’d be home late,” he grumbles, but his grip on the sheets betrays him as you step nearer. you take him in hand, his protests dissolving into moans. “f-fuck, i’m so embarrassed, so embarassed” he stammers between breaths, but his hips don’t stop moving.
minghao is indignant at first. “don’t you know how to knock?” he snaps. you start to apologize, backing out, but he quickly changes his tune. “wait! c-can you help me?” he asks, his voice small.
mingyu is caught in the most embarrassing moment—right as he’s cumming. he barely has time to react, the embarrassment and orgasm hitting him simultaneously, his face contorting in pleasure as he finishes. “why did you have to walk in now?” but the way his body trembles shows he doesn’t reaaaally mind.
seokmin is too horny to care about embarrassment at first. “please help,” he begs immediately. once he cums, reality hits, and he runs away, all embarrassed, sulking about being caught in such a compromising position. “i can’t believe i asked you for help,” you can’t help but chuckle at his retreating form.
seungkwan tries to play it cool, pretending he hasn’t seen you, but you both know better. his face burns with embarrassment, yet there’s a flicker of something else. he knows you’re enjoying the sight, and he’s counting the seconds until you join him. “you like what you see?” “you gonna help or just watch?” he finally says, his bravado wavering.
vernon covers himself with a pillow, staring at you with wide eyes and pink cheeks. “help?” you offer, and he doesn’t even let you finish before saying, “yes! … please.” his voice is soooft! almost a whisper, but the need is clear.
chan grips the base of his cock tightly, trying to stop himself from cumming. “y-you scared me!” he exclaims, eyes wide as you close the door behind you. he gulps as you walk closer, his breath hitching. “are you going to finish what you started?” you ask.
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adickaboutspoons · 3 months ago
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Mostly I was responding to the points raised in @scarrletmoon's response, but you raise some excellent points to which I'd like to respond. Feel free to ignore if you're tired of my bullshit. I completely understand the impulse. 1st, you're absolutely right; I was coming across as gate-keepery by saying that I find Stede's eccentricities charming as though that ought be the default experience. For that I apologize. I ought to have taken more care. When I said "And that's valid, but I would say that those are the parts that the crew and Ed grow to love once they embrace those parts of him instead of cringing at them" what I meant to convey is that the experience of 2nd-hand embarrassment when Stede does something that recalls to the viewer times when they have felt ashamed/were made to feel shame because of something they did is absolutely understandable, but we can take heart in Stede being accepted & loved for those parts of him, & find hope that so too may we be embraced for our own quirks & foibles. My intention was to encourage others to be more gentle with & accepting of their own perceived failings, but I can see now that I failed to adequately express that, & for that I am sorry. I do take issue with the suggestion that I am strawmanning, though; I would argue that how one views Stede's motivation & framing absolutely informs the extent to which/moments in which one finds his behavior cringe-worthy. In your original post, you contend Stede is "pretending to be this macho pirate captain who totally knows what he's doing" & your response above adds he's a bad manager & a jerk because he's praising himself & chiding his employees, whom you interpret as him treating as stand-ins for his own children. If that's how you're framing the scenario, then, sure - I can see how his behavior comes across as cringe to you. But that's not at all how I perceived it. I will grant he is pretending more expertise than he actually possesses, but he IS a pirate captain, & as to the attribution of "macho" I absolutely disagree, specifically because he is textually interested in a form of piracy that is not that. Because that is my understanding of the scene, in the debrief scene I see a person excited at the success of what, if Black Pete is to be believed, is their very 1st raid, & doesn't understand why everyone else wasn't also chuffed. He then listens to Wee John' criticism & encourages him to clarify WHY he feels the way he does. When Wee John identifies the lack of a flag as a contributing factor to his disgruntlement, Stede provides materials so they can rectify the deficit. This isn't Stede forcing arts & crafts on these grown-ass men (& Jim) - it's Stede hearing a problem & supplying the means to a solution. Similarly, he hears out Buttons about the crew's dissatisfaction, & tries to rectify it by finding a more appealing target for a raid, even though he obviously feels unequal to the task himself. To me, that's the complete opposite of a bad manager (to me he's a bad manager when he's being dismissive of the crew's input, like the fuckery brainstorming, & even then he climbs down from his high horse & apologizes. Which? GREAT manager!). Where you see Stede infantilizing his crew, I see them taking part in activities that, while generally relegated to childhood, aren't implicitly childish, & of their own volition, & Stede sowing the seeds that will eventually blossom into a found family (not imposing an established family structure). For clarity, I'm not saying my interpretation is objectively right, nor that yours is wrong. I'm just saying framing is going to influence perception of whether Stede's behavior is Cringe, & that's kind of what I was getting at with my myriad examples of Stede behaving "authentically" or "inauthentically" & when that is a viable predictor of a general fandom perception of when Stede is being Cringe. Because I really don't think it is. This is going to continue in the notes because tumlr thinks they can cut my mic.
listen I love stede a lot - I think he's the bravest character in the show. he changes everyone he meets for the better. he embodies what I think of as the thesis of the show. if he wasn't the way that he is, the show would not be very good, imo.
but in ep one he gives his pirate crew notes on the raid they just did as though they were a community theater troupe and his notes were 1) complimenting his own opening speech as "very inspiring" and 2) complaining that that the crew wasn't sufficiently enthusiastic about robbing two poor fisherman of a single plant.
during the raid his narration went "some men are born to be pirate captains, others learn on the job. me? well I'm a pretty solid mix of both" as though he has any idea what he's doing.
and AFTER the raid Olu has to gently point out to him that piracy isn't a game to the rest of the crew.
There's a reason that Rhys Darby was the only person capable of playing Stede without making him seem like a total dick. And I think that's bc Rhys was able to convey the idea that Stede's behavior in the first few eps is coming out of this deep sense of insecurity - he's doing some Stede-y things (flag making! paying the crew! bedtime stories!) that are great but he's also pretending to be this macho pirate captain who totally knows what he's doing. And it's the pretending that makes people cringe with second hand embarrassment. While also, often, seeing themselves in it and feeling a great deal of sympathy for Stede about it.
The reason Stede is like this is because HE thinks there's something deeply wrong with him, a belief that has been solidified by everyone around him his entire life, and therefore he needs to do everything he can to hide that deeply wrong thing about him. When he unpacks that and embraces the things about himself he originally thought were embarrassing (being weak, pathetic, soft, etc), he can stop pretending. And that's when other characters grow to love him! And so people will sometimes call him cringe because they aspire to be cringe like him, to embrace the parts of themselves that they were punished for and live more authentically.
because he changes! that's the point! he moves from cringe (pretending to be someone he's not) to cringe (being true to himself, always a deeply vulnerable thing to be) and it takes a lot of hard work. that's what makes me LIKE him as a character. that's what I think makes him the bravest character on the show. because he doesn't start out perfect. he's a puppet who grows into a real boy and that means that for a period of time he was a puppet, and that's okay.
#In your posts you say 'it's the pretending that makes people cringe with second hand embarrassment' & ''cringe' comes from when#you are trying to pass yourself off as something you’re not *& failing*.' I really can't say I agree. This is what I was trying to get at#when I was talking about the battle robe scene. Stede is pretending bravado when he calls the garment he put on to comfort himself#a 'battle robe' and when he asks for a 'refresher' on defensive maneuvers but no one is fooled by this affectation - not the audience & not#Jim & Olu. But this isn't the part of the scene that's Cringe even though Stede is pretending to be brave & failing badly.#The part that's Cringe is when he tries to claim affiliation with a group to which he doesn't belong & puts Olu in the position of having t#nicely explain why he's wrong. It's not the pretending that's Cringe it's the unexamined privilege & putting someone in an awkward position#I would argue that Cringe comes from the sympathetic recognition that someone is doing something they shouldn't & how you would feel#if you were in their place. I would like to share one of the times I find Ed Cringe that I don't normally see discussed in those terms#in fandom at large; the montage part of the French Party Boat scene when Ed is clowning around. I find this scene hard to watch because I#am intimate with the scenario of thinking you're among friends & being encouraged to act out only to find out later they were only feigning#friendliness & were laughing at rather than with you - with the shame of realizing you erroneously let yourself believe you were liked &#lending credence to the idea that you're *deserving* of derision by people who already held you in contempt by making a fool of yourself.#Again - not saying mine is the correct interpretation of this scene - just explaining how I perceived it.#Because my point is not that Ed *IS* Cringe in this moment but that we should all examine WHY we find a character's behavior Cringe.#WHAT about that scenario invokes that reaction? What messages have we internalized about Correct Social Behavior that is prompting it?#Are those messages valid? Are they something we want to continue to reinforce or would we be happier if we let them go?#This is what I meant when I said we should be cautious about trying to jam all the iterations of Cringe under a single umbrella term.#& why I think it's not useful to reclaim Cringe as an unambiguously positive term.#Because there ARE times when that Cringe response is identifying an actual social transgression.#I'd never say Stede is *never* Cringe 'cos there are times when he absolutely is. Like the 'one of the guys' part of the battle robe scene#When he says he's not a colonizer before the tribal council. Other times? That's more fungible.#& is going to depend a lot on the person perceiving the Cringe behavior & their own internalized deal.#If someone says 'Stede is Cringe & I love him' & means 'I love that he's unapologetically himself & loved for it & wish I was less worried#about what people think so I could be free to express myself like him' that's beautiful & I wish them luck & every happiness.#If what they mean is 'Stede gives zero fucks & has no filters & we should all be more like that' that's not just objectively untrue#it's also not how social contracts work. SOME filters are GOOD. Being aware of which ones you've internalized#& whether they're useful for you or holding you back is also good.#If what they mean as I've unfortunately seen all too often & makes me suspicious when I someone use Cringe as a blanket descriptor of Stede#is 'Look at that buffoon go. What a loser.' Meet me in the Denny's parking lot. I just want to talk. And keep some gates.
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