#I guess the canon reason is that purgatory changed him but I still miss him :(

[sampilled]

The way dean’s character completely changes in season 8 and it’s like never acknowledged

Can you imagine s14 dean saying s2 dean’s lines?

I saw interview once with Eric kripke and he basically said something along the lines of “dean’s core is a sad child” and it really struck me.

Dean in the early seasons (while yes, violent and a Hunter and a million other things) is so gentle with other people. With Sam and with Jo especially. He has a hard shell but the soft centre is easy to see and I feel like that just gets lost in season 8

It’s like he still has dean’s personality but none of his vulnerability

It’s like a caricature of him and it’s so upsetting

[galadrieljones]

The Walking Dead: Episode 4.12, “Still” Rewatch

So I rewatched “Still” in honor of the Stilliversary tonight. My thoughts are not related much to Team Delusional stuff, more so just thoughts and idle analysis, but I had fun and definitely did not cry.

Here we go!

Beth is already feeling it, right away, after the trunk scene, ie: what he must think of her. She’s just another “dead girl” who needs to be protected. It is both insulting and embarrassing at the same time.

Daryl misses that squirrel and breaks an arrow! Dammit, Daryl. This is just another trial, but it’s interesting in how we see Daryl in like rote provider mode, and yet he makes a mistake.

The suck-ass camp begins with some Garden of Eden imagery: While Daryl skins and cooks the snake, Beth is admiring the beauty of a ladybug crawling on a leaf. The music is actually full of wonder. Beth sees the beauty in the natural world while Daryl sees it only for what he can use. It is an essential masculine vs. feminine moment, in terms of their individual themes, and what propels them and their actions. Their masculine and feminine energies will be subverted later though, and well-complicated, because the writing is good.

Beth brings up Hershel’s death early: “He’s not exactly around anymore so...” She wants to have a drink, maybe to rebel against her father, maybe to honor his memory, maybe to seal her own fate. It is a complicated choice for Beth. It’s not just some “dumb college bitch” moment. She knows this, but how is she supposed to communicate it to Daryl?

Daryl is like an animal eating that snake while Beth tries to talk to him. Literally, out of body. I imagine being her and just like, Ugh. Gross, dude. Then, when she leaves, Beth totally expects him to come after her. When she doesn’t see him right away, she mutters, “Jerk.” She called him a jerk in season 3, too, after he takes off with Merle. I think Beth is used to being treated nicely by boys. Ofc, Daryl, while he may not be an overt gentleman in his scarfing of that disgusting snake, was there watching her the whole time. 

“You wanna spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes? Screw that. We might as well do something.”

I sort of missed this before, the mention of “the rest of our lives.” It is a small acknowledgement that they are now “stuck together.” Ofc, Beth’s idea is to “make the most of it,” to go out into and DO something! Embrace the future! Daryl sees only the here, the now, and the past. He would prefer to stay still.

Unrelated but: God, Daryl is peak hot in this episode. 

Anyway, so, the state of Pine Vista, and what happened there. Jfc. It’s very ugly and very sad. The Dogtrot seems a reference to a dogtrot house, which is an old Appalachian style home. Basically like two shacks connected via a breezeway. I see some sort of backcountry types having moved in here and tortured the rich folk. There is evidence that “fun” was had. “Rich bitch,” etc. Maybe it’s the same psychopaths who tormented the OG Terminus crew, ultimately turning them into crazy cannibals.

Beth finds the Washington D.C. spoon. Why?? It’s such an odd, pointed shot, with a slow zoom. Is that where we’ll find her? Does anybody else know anything about this?? Anyway maybe this is a TD post lol.

Beth finds that bottle of wine and it’s a shame she has to break it! I remember feeling so bad about that the first time I watched this episode. Like NO BETH YOUR BOOZE!! She uses it to stab the shit out of that walker though, and to defend herself. She’s kind of pissed at Daryl for not helping her, again used to only the kindest of attention from boys. But Daryl isn’t like other boys (lol). He was there the whole time, once again, but he let it play out, because he knew she could do it. I like that her first (almost) drink here sort of has to become a weapon instead. Nothing is ever easy! And sometimes, the environment IS best observed, not in terms of its beauty or promise, but in terms of how its use can best be served to survive.

Tempus Fugit - Time flies! Oh, yes. Yes it does lol.

Daryl and Beth both need to escape their old selves here. Beth with her pretty cloths and Daryl stealing the cash and the jewels. They need to shake that shit off. Burn it all down, if you will. I think this episode we mostly associate with Daryl changing and having his epiphany, but Beth changes, too. She is just quieter at it.

It is 3 o’clock! The grandfather clock is this interesting motif that puts pressure on the situation literally while also bringing the symbolic pressure of time passing, running out, etc. It makes us feel detached from reality, like this is a purgatory episode. I like when The Walking Dead does this, like when they take us to a new place in which we become critically aware that this thing we’re watching is fiction, and by the rules of fiction, anything (ANYTHING) can happen.

“I know you think this is stupid, and it probably is, but I don’t care.” She just is who she is. She doesn’t give a shit what he thinks. I think that attracts Daryl to her in this moment and emboldens him. I think Daryl actually really cares what other people think of him, that he is keenly self-aware in this way. We see this fear manifest as Merle in Chupacabra, ie: that the rest of the group thinks he’s a “freak,” a piece of “redneck trash,” and that they’re all “laughing behind [his] back.” Meanwhile, Beth is just like, “You probably think I’m just some dumb bitch. But guess what, Daryl? I DON’T CARE.”

Beth sitting at that bar trying to clean out glasses: “Who needs a glass?” She clutches the bottle longingly and then cries. I would argue she is thinking of Hershel and the line of questioning that arises in this moment. Should she do this? Is she betraying him? This moment also contradicts what she tells Daryl in 4.1. “I don’t cry anymore Daryl.” This is the moment that breaks him.

Beth keeps trying to make him feel normal, while they’re walking to the shine shack. She thinks he used to be a motorcycle mechanic. But Daryl’s normal is not hers, and he doesn’t really do small talk. In these little moments, we see him being who he is. Daryl is really good at being who he is when who he is revolves around passivity and silence.

They go from country club to moonshine shack. What we see is how a class divide might differ in longevity. A country club full of walkers, made out of humans who turned against each other, every bottle dry in the house vs. an empty shine shack, no death in sight, absolutely full of booze. When societal protections collapse around us, it is the ruthless and the bereft who will know how best to survive. It’s like Beth sad about Daryl, being “made for this world.” 

They are trapped! Tropes. So many romantic tropes! Lol at people who would like to ignore that any of this happened or that Bethyl was never canon.

This: 

Anyway, I think Daryl is actually pretty mean to Beth toward the end here, out on the porch, like the way he treats her, kind of tugs her around physically. He doesn’t hurt her, but he is not gentle. This puts things into harsh perspective for Beth, as I do think that, while he is not right in how he handles her here, he is right in some ways about who she is. She is not naive but she is used to protection and safety and relying on others, the same way he is used to the opposite of those things. Both of them need to learn how to exist from the other side. 

Beth also sees what’s going on, however. I think she also might be used to this sort of quasi-violent, performative, drunken behavior. Her dad was a drunk. I think it’s interesting that so much of this episode hinges on alcohol in Hershel’s wake. I always thought this might be one reason Beth is drawn to and accepting of Daryl. We only really see Hershel while sober (I mean, mostly). We never saw him in his deep element of alcoholism, but Beth did. She is not innocent to vices or men spinning out of control. It’s why Beth responds to Daryl’s whole insane story about the tweaker and Merle with, “You miss him, don’t you?” She doesn’t care that Merle was a degenerate drug addict. He was Daryl’s brother who died. She has loved and lost an addict, too.

Before, Daryl was just “drifting.” In this episode, Beth gives him a quest. I think that’s very important. She also gives him something to look forward to:

“You got away from it.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me of it sometimes.”

The hint at their future: “You gotta keep on reminding me,” he says, counting on them staying together. Beth is so kind to him here, too, even doting as she talks about him being the “last man standing.” I can’t imagine a girl has ever treated Daryl like this. I think she scares the living shit out of him.

Daryl suggests they go back into the shine shack, but Beth says they should burn the place down instead. Again, stillness vs. action. See their complimentary traits: Daryl is passive. He needs someone to tell him this is okay. Beth is active. She does what she wants. It is uniquely antithetical to their gender roles and subverts the power dynamic we might otherwise expect from a relationship like this: Daryl is older and a man. Ofc he should be the more aggressive, assertive one. The actor. But he’s not. It’s Beth who makes their choices in this episode. Daryl follows her and protects her along the way. 

The ending is so happy. Oh my god. Anyway.

Thank you for humoring me. Happy Stilliversary!! 😭🥺❤️

[gothamangelwings]

Okay, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to say anything about this, but I have to, for my own sanity. Excuse me for my rambling (especially about Castiel) and repeating myself, which I probably will do in this post.

Truth is I only got into Supernatural a little over a year ago. I just kept avoiding it over the years. I think when it was in it’s 7th or 8th season, I thought to myself “oh this should be ending soon. I’ll just wait til its over and watch it then” That did not happen. Jump to last year when I heard about the Scoobynatural episode. I love Scooby so I had to watch. And I loved it. And I really loved Sam and Dean. But I also couldn’t stop thinking about the guy in the trench coat with the deep voice named Castiel. Did very little research to find out he’s an angel. That’s all I wanted to know. Went to netflix and started watching the show from the beginning. By the time I got midway thru season 3 I was hooked. I started buying the dvds in bunches. Watching as much as a I could a week. When I got to season 4 I was Cass on the cover of the boxset and said “that’s him! That’s the angel! He’s in the season!” I actually didn’t know he would show up right in the beginning of the season but when Dean was at that gas station and gas started shattering I thought. That’s him isn’t it? That’s Castiel. Misha’s actual entrance on the show is the best in history. I do love Sam and Dean but I’m not going to lie and pretend like Castiel isn’t my favorite. Because he is. I adore that awkward angel. He is the reason I happily kept watching and brought all the dvds because I knew Misha was still working on the show. He is the reason I will buy season 15. I started shipping Destiel in season 5 but when I re-watched the series (Yes I watched it twice in less than a year. One over a period of several months the other over a few weeks before the show came back after hiatus.) I saw moments in season 4 that i missed the first time around.

So yes this finale makes me cry and not in a good way. although there are a few saving graces.

Let’s begin.

First let me start by saying I do not in any way blame the actors. Especially Jensen. He said he thought the ending was bad and had to be talked into it. Dean/Jensen deserved better. I blame the writers and producers and The CW

Second, repeat after me:

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Now speaking of Castiel, who I mostly want to talk about before addressing the rest of this mess. Castiel/Misha deserved better. There really is no reason Misha couldn’t be in the final episode unless there was something on his end. Although seeing that he recently went to California to shoot a something for Amazon and took West to the Winchester House. He can definitely travel. But if there was some reason on his end, then okay, fine then. However that doesn’t excuse the way the handled his character in these last two episodes.

Yes in 15x19 Dean demands Chuck bring Cass back. Dean remembers Cass’s words when Chuck calls him the ultimate killer. Yes, Dean runs to the door when he thinks Cass has just called him. Instead in was Lucifer. What a slap in the face to the fans and an insult to Misha after that beautiful confession of love.

But the end of the episode. Jack becomes God and no one says “What about Cass?”

Now 15x20. Sam brings up Castiel and Dean is just like “move on“. No, That is not Dean. No matter what Dean cared about Castiel, to the point that being without him in the past led him to depression. i understand he doesn’t want Castiel’s sacrifice to be in vein. But come on. There’s living on and being happy and then there’s acting like the guy didn’t matter. Again, no. That is not Dean. Not after all the development those two have had. I know Dean wasn’t always perfect when it came to Cass but he did care. What happened to “We lost everything. Now you’re going to bring him back” What happened to the purgatory apology and admitting his anger issues. And so much more.

Again Castiel is in heaven. Jack got him out of The Empty. But they could of made it more clear. ( I swear, if they are leaving this up to interpretation....) Because I see so many people who have “conveniently” missed what Bobby said and insist he’s still in The Empty. Or just want to say “well that’s not what he meant. Cas is still dead, he just meant his influence on Jack” or some shit like that.(Now that I think about maybe influence isn’t the right word to use with this fandom lol)

Anyway lets say that Misha could not in anyway be there for filming. YOU CAN STILL ADDRESS HIS CHARACTER PROPERLY AND GIVE HIM A SATISFYING ENDING. In fact you barely have to change the scene between Dean and Bobby just add a few more lines.

Dean: “So Jack did all that?”

Bobby: “Well Cass helped”

Dean: “Wait, Cass is here?!”

Bobby: ‘Yep, Kid got him out.”

Dean: “Well where is he? Can I see him?”

Bobby (smiling): “Now calm down ya idjit. He’ll be back soon. Had some business to take of. But he is planning to stick around here with the rest of us.’

Dean (smiling, happy because he’s getting a second chance): Good. He belongs with us. With me. (takes a drink) It’s just too bad...

Bobby (knowing he’s talking about Sam: “Don’t worry he’ll be here shortly...”

Scene plays out as normal but instead when Sam and Dean are reunited. Dean tells him “Let’s head back, Mom, Dad, Bobby, and Cass are waiting for us. Along with everyone else we loved and lost when we were alive.”

Or... a few scenarios with Castiel there (even for a few moments)

1. When Dean dies (yeah we’ll talk about that) Jack sends down Cass to take him to heaven. Dean leaves his body. Watches as Sam falls apart and then hears “Hello Dean” turns and there’s Cass to guide him to heaven and also let him know Sam will be okay and will live a happy life”

2. The scene with Bobby starts the way it did but instead after he says “Well Cass helped” he points behind Dean.

Cass: “Hello Dean.”

Dean: “Cas! Aw, it’s good to see you. You have no idea.”

They embrace. Maybe the say something about the confession maybe they don’t but at least they’re together and we know that they have time to talk.

Episode continues as it did but again Dean tells Sam that Castiel is here waiting for them.

3. Episode plays exactly as it did. Except at the very end after Sam and Dean reunite on the bridge...

Cass: “Hello Dean. Hello Sam”

Both: Cass!

The three hug. Dean a bit longer.

Dean: “Well look at that. Team Free Will back together again. This time forever.”

In any scenario Castiel is living in heaven with the boys. Him and Dean eventually talk about what happened. In my canon Dean returns his feelings but even if he can’t it’s okay because Dean does care about Cass. And Castiel’s happiness was just in being able to say it. Either way they’re together along with everyone else they love and will be waiting for those who haven’t arrived yet.

Also Cass finally gets his guinea pig. Because he deserves it.

ONCE AGAIN, EVEN IF MISHA COULDN’T BE THERE. THERE WERE STILL BETTER WAYS TO HANDLE THIS ENDING! OH AND THERE BETTER NOT BE SOME LAME ASS THING LIKE ‘HE’S IN HEAVEN WORKING WITH JACK BUT ISN’T ALLOWED HERE BECAUSE THE NEW GOD LIKES TO KEEP ANGELS SEPARATE FROM THE REST OF US’

NO. CASTIEL IS DEFINITELY WITH DEAN IN HEAVEN. END OF STORY.

Moving on the other problems which I won’t go into full detail in like I did Castiel.

Dean’s death. The ever loving fuck was that? A nail?! I get that they finally get to call the shots in there own lives now but come on! A nail. And this is what a few weeks after defeating Chuck. Who, if he wants to can have a happy life. You know when Cass heard about this he rolled his eyes. Like “Really?!”

Ewwww that forehead touch. I know for most people it’s just a sweet final moment between two siblings as one dies. But we all know this is fuel for the Winc*sters and b*bros. I mean come on now. You’re afraid to have Dean even acknowledge Castiel’s feelings but a forehead touch that can and will be taken out of context as romantic between two brothers is fine and dandy. I was watching this with my Mom and even she was like “That forehead touch,,, why.. just why...”

Funny thing about my Mom. (Sorry not sorry going back to talk about Cass for a moment) She has been watching SPN with me this year but honestly only (not even) half paid attention. She has a habit of always looking at her phone even when it’s something she wants to watch. Two weeks ago after 15X18 I asked “Do you believe Cass’s confession was romantic?”

Her response. “No, they’re just friends. Angels aren’t supposed to feel romantic love.’ We get into a small argument.

A few days later...

Me: “Misha confirmed it was romantic.”

Mom: “Oh, well that settles it then. I just was taught that angels didn’t feel that kind of love.”

Me: “Yeah but your forgetting a few things. 1. Cass isn’t like other angels and 2. This is a fictional tv show not the actual bible.

Mom laughs: “Good point, Guess I didn’t think about that.”

Me: “Y’know people are actually saying  that Cass can’t be gay or bi because Dean isn’t.”

Mom: “That’s stupid. One has nothing to do with the other. Even if Dean doesn’t feel the same way that doesn’t change Castiel’s feelings.”

Jump to the last few days.

Mom: “Cass is going to show up in the finale. He and Dean will be reunited! Maybe he’s one of those people in the masks being controlled by The Empty. Or maybe there will be a scene in the barn where Dean is on the ground about to be stabbed and Cass saves him in the knick of time!”

Mom after the finale: “That was terrible. Very disappointed. They really couldn’t get Misha for few minutes. They better not use covid as an excuse with all those people on that bridge. Everything about this episode felt wrong” (she said that about 15x19 too). (Grabs her phone to look at twitter) “Misha is crying. This episode doesn’t deserve pie.”

We brought pie. We did not eat it.

Moving on.. .yeah yeah the wig on Jared was awful. But who cares. What I want to know is who is the mother? Is it Eileen? I hope it’s Eileen. It better be Eileen.

The barn. Why? Why that barn? Did they really think no one would notice. I get reusing sets and locations as completely different places. But that just hurt.

Did we need so many songs with no dialogue being spoken. I mean yes Carry On was a must have but so much time could’ve been spent talking about other characters during the other songs .

And again why are they trying to make Dean look bad. It’s not his/Jensen’s fault it’s the horrible writing of these final two episodes. Why did they not take to opportunity to talk about Castiel’s confession. Yes I’m  back on Cas again. I warned you. Also he’s probably the main reason you’re reading this anyway, so yeah...

I would like to believe a conversation happened off screen but the way Sam and Dean acted it doesn’t seem like it.

Again would it be so hard. Two scenarios

1.

Dean: “Before Cass got dragged into the Empty he told me...

Sam: :Told you what?”

Dean: He told me... he told me he loved me.”

Sam (smiling): “That’s not news Dean,”

Dean: “No Sammy. He really loved me... like... you know..”

Sam: “Again, not news Dean. How do you feel? “

Dean (hesitates): “ I think... no, I know I love him too. He’s the only man I’ll ever love.”

Sam: “Well you know technically Cass really isn’t male... so...

Dean: “Oh please Sammy. Could you imagine Cass in any other body? Especially a chicks. It would be so weird.”

Sam: “Good point.”

Dean: “Besides, he was perfect the way he was.”

2.

Dean: “Before Cass got dragged into the Empty he told me...

Sam: :Told you what?

”Dean: He told me... he told me he loved me.”

Sam (smiling): “That’s not news Dean,”

Dean: “No Sammy. He really loved me... like... you know..”

Sam: “Again, not news Dean. How do you feel? “

Dean: “I can’t return his feelings. I see him as a man and you know I’m attracted to women.”

Sam: “Alright then.”

Dean. “But y’know...”

Sam: “Hmmm?”

Dean: “I still miss him. I wish he was here with us.”

There were so many easy ways to fix this and they did nothing. Did they not think 15x18 would have a huge impact. I really hope the writers are kicking themselves for this. Funny, by ignoring Castiel and his feelings they actually brought more attention and love to him and Misha.

I really don’t know if a rewrite and reshoot for the dvd release is possible. Has that ever been done, I feel like it has but I’m not sure. But if it is. Fix it. It only took a few weeks to film these last two episodes. I’m sure all the actors can come back to film for a few weeks. Once there are less Covid restrictions of courses. I know there’s been talk about a possible movie. That could fix it. As long as they bring back the angel in the trench coat. Or how about a bonus episode for the dvd 15x21 where everyone is gathered in heaven. Sam, Dean, Cass, Bobby, Mary, John, Kevin, Charlie, Eileen, Jo, Ellen, Pam. Even Crowley and Rowena because why not. Oooh and Meg too because she did sacrifice herself for them and also I just love her.  Anyway they all gather and talk about old times. Perfect excuse for an old fashion clip show. Funny/heartwarming banter in between. Make Destiel canon at the end. Another possible way to fix it is do a comic book season or even just a few issues to flesh out the ending in heaven. Just fix it.

At least we have fanfiction.

If there are any positives to take away it’s this:

1: Castiel is in heaven with Dean. They are together. They have a second chance.

2. It was said only 30% of the fanbase would like this ending. Like many people I assumed that meant a Destiel ending. Cause I thought out of the whole fanbase shippers were in the minority. Nope turns of the the Winc*sters/B*bros are the 30%. Destiel fans, Cass fans, Misha fans are part of the 70% who hate this. Though why you would want to only please 30% of your fanbase is beyond me.

3. Sam was able to live a long happy life without being codependent on his brother.

I absolutely hated the last two episodes and how this show ended. Again the only saving grace is knowing Jack got Castiel out of The Empty and he and Dean reunited in heaven. But no matter how much I hated 99% of the ending. I still love this show and all it’s characters. I will happily go back and watch it over again to relive the good, funny, sad, bittersweet moments. The final 90 minutes of the series is not going to ruin that for me. I love Sam and Dean but Castiel is my favorite and I will happily go back and enjoy everything about his character. I am not going  to let this ruin Supernatural for me. Next summer I am going to my first SPN Convention and I can’t wait. I may have only discovered the greatness of Supernatural a year ago after avoiding it for so long but I want it to stay apart of my life. Like I said I only got into Supernatural a little over a year ago but this hurt my heart so much I only imagine how those of your who’ve been here for over a decade feel.

I know this was very, very long and I probably actually forgot some things I wanted to say. But I’m tired.

Cass and Dean are in heaven together. I believe they are canon 💙💚

[jossujb]

3, 5, 9, 16 & 23

You never fail me tirsu by having the energy to ask :D

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

That is probably the most common reason for me to unfollow someone, actually. Tho I hope people understand that unfollowing for me related only to the very selfish enjoyment content I wanna be on my radar, so it’s not personal by any means. I just can’t have anything on my feed that makes me upset, cos I don’t want to be upset.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Yeah it has... tho usually I don’t turn against a ship, it’s more like getting completely discouraged to do content myself or seek something more to my liking. Tho I have to say, SPN fandom especially strains my levels of tolerance a lot.

Usually it’s not even the fandom being bad per se, it’s just that, often times the accepted fanon or popular headcanons get so intertwined with the ship, so much so that some people get angry if you view it some other way, so it’s not very safe or enjoyable for me to do content for them anymore. 

I mean, would you do things where you already know before posting that everyone is gonna be like lol no xD

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

I am not sure which fandom to talk about, so I’ll pick a few xD

At the moment I just really really really don’t like Eileen on SPN, and it has zero to do with how good I find her character or like anything even remotely reasonable. It’s based on purely on petty “I don’t like Sam/Eileen endgame” and that’s that, I cannot give you other, good reasons cos there ain’t one.

On Doctor Who I used to be like super annoyed by Clara Oswald and River Song to a point that I spend a lot of time dissing, but both of them got so much improvements during Capaldi’s run of the show that I kinda actually miss Clara these days and The Husbands of River Song is no joke my favorite Nuwho episode xD

I guess now my current dislike on Doctor Who is just Eleven in general.

On Jago & Litefoot I hate Carruthers Summerton, but you’re meant to hate that fucking weasel, so that’s not even dislike, it’s love to hate relationship xDDDDD

No wait, actually, does it count as J&L cos they crossover with The Paternoster Gang is that I don’t still get Madame Vastra as a character. I think even Big Finish isn’t bringing anything to the table that I could relate to. I like Jenny Flint tho, I really wish the relationship would like hit some feeling and I am like, Vastra doesn’t have a strong enough characterization for this to work.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

On SPN I just wouldn’t have killed Gabriel, I just wouldn’t have. Not even for any ship reasons, I just think that was a waste. 

SPN is such an endless pit of a black hole that you could forever and ever about changing things. I mean, I wouldn’t have ever killed Baltazar either and that’s s6. I would have made Destiel happen as an end result to the Purgatory arch and not now, I would have kept Destiel in the empty since s13 and brought him back only for the end result. Lucifer in my opinion could have just fucked off at least from s14 like who needed him xDD

If you ask what would I change in Jago & Litefoot, it’s a difficult question, as a series it’s so through out meeting all my expectations. If you ask one single thing, I would have made it more obvious that Mr. Jago actually understood that Prof. Litefoot sacrified himself on Chronoclasm out of love. I think he does all things considered, but I think the only flaw I can think of the show is that it’s somewhat debatable if Jago ever understood it was mutual.

(maybe I wouldn’t make Litefoot/Bazemore canon unless it’s poly but hush hush hush one thing was asked xDDD)

23. Unpopular character you love?

On Supernatural I kinda just fucking love Ketch xD I dunno, it started as a kind of ironic thing, like one of those, who the fuck gives a shit about Ketch, why does he get to be alive and everyone nice just is killed. But then he started to get just killer characterization and I was involved with some crack shipping and now I am like haha he’s the best fucker xD

I wish Jago & Litefoot was more popular fandom so I could tell who is even popular or unpolar. I can say that from the characters the writing kinda sorta tries to depict as annoying or unlikable I super fucking love Lady Danvers, cos she’s just my soul sister, out there wanting to fuck all the gentlemen xD I think she might have been written as a joke or a jab? I dunno, she’s just great.

On more general Doctor Who, I really like Martha Jones, but I think she’s not unpopular anymore. I do remember people dissing her a lot and preferring Rose and comparing her to just about anyone else, but people have got more reasonable lately and she her as she is, and what she is, is great.

You’re super for asking!

[raguna-blade]

Revolutionary Girl Utena 34-39 And The Adolescence of Utena

So hot diggity damn, I finally finished the Series and it’s Sequel movie. (Perhaps it’s not truly a sequel. I will be graceful and acknowledge this as a possibility as I gleefully ignore it because hot damn that movie makes Negative Sense if You haven’t seen the series before (Which I know factually because I’ve watched it multiple times without having seen the series in full proper. That dance scene man) but makes immense amounts of sense if viewed as a sequel. I’m gonna get around to it sooner or later I think, probably sooner since the subject is on my mind, but still) Shit went down. So much has gone down, but the one thing that I can say is that it I am so glad to see that Akio got dunked on in the most pleasing way by the Lady who consistently spat hot fire the entire series.

Also that Dance Scene was SO FUCKING GOOD, LIKE HOLY SHIT GUYS.

Proper Essays and the like to come as I Do a run through thoughts and such, since I got a bunch of them.

Episodes 35-39

Episode 35

Oh Boy prince time again. Oh god. Oh god they changed it again.

I find it interesting that Dios is Still framed pretty sympathetically. He's a solid A plus good guy, but shit goes so horribly wrong that he just...stops. Hm. Wonder if there's a reason WHY he warped so? It doesn't excuse anything but...

Wait, did Utena start recalling everything? Hell of a way to regain your memories.

I do not appreciate the crotch shot here following that last ep.

GODDAMNIT AKIO. YEAH TAKE A WALK AWAY.

This whole scene feels awkward.

Oh damn her face flattened out like whoa. She mad.

Was it Eternity? That warped him...?

What's with the car...?

Also, ….Ok, toga. Car Pyramid too.

Also, is Akio...hm. Oddly Passive? Hm.

Give her a present, say it's from me, and god damnit akio please stop being weird for like 10 seconds.

What's with the carrot in his pocket.

Earrings? Jessu wakaba.

...Wait, was this to tilt TOGA? But why would that do it?

Prince Mystique. I think this shit was actually supposed to til him.

I think Akio actually fucking played Touga. HE THOUGHT THEY WERE PARTNERS AND YOU GOT PLAYED!

Yeah, Touga is fucking TILTED.

He looks so put off right now. Like he's...off. He's off in a way the others haven't been.

Saionji here reading him like a book. Jesus Saionji is tearing him a new one.

Used people like tools and it made you strong IN THE PAST.

Shadow Girls? Feels super early, but it's the second half of the episode. But what's the deal with fish...Oh, fish in the sea. Girls exist to be exploited? Huh...Toga I guess....A Mermaid? Oh, a fish and a personality

LEFT THE BED. OH NO. The earrings. Also, I dislike the soft lovely lovey dovey shading here. Just feels...like liesssssssssssss

Anthy.

He thinks he won the game. He wants her to be a princess.

A princess who will revolutionze the world.

Oh Shit the elevator! It's been too long.

Is it the bros time?

Never come out of this coffin. Is everyone dead here?

Saionji: YOU LOVE HER BRO?

TOUGA: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Final Letter? Hm..Why the play? But I'm making this call. Akio's not actually end of the world?

Saionji: YOU SURE YOU WANNA BE LIKE HIM?

But for real dudes, why you strippin.

...Oh is chuchu a familiar? Or some part of anthy?

Anthy is not having it. AND SH what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK WE JUST GONNA IGNORE HER SPURTING INTO SWORDS?

Honestly, all of this is half making me wonder about the black rose arc cause it feels...mad out of place? It got excised from canon but...hm.

Episode 36

This yinyang shit is increasingly worrisome.

Elevator again? Also, how long has it been since we've seen the rest of the student council. And why does Touga think he needs to beat her to save her?

Hm....

Is the coffin (Coffins) Ohotori? Is this some weird purgatory? Would explain shadow seminar guy.

You sound sincere when you say that. IMPLYING HE DOESN”T THE REST OF THE TIME.

DON'T KISS AND LOOK ALL DREAMY FUCK YOU AKIO. FUCK YOU

WHY CANT THESE GUYS CLOSE A SHIRT?

Oh Stuco? Please be the heroes we need.

Juri: SOMETHING IS WRONG

Miki: WELL SHEIS A GIRL BUT...Uh...I mean that's good? Right? Something is off.

Oh Boy. Revolution TIME.

….What...what are they doing. What's with the  Bike...? Also, the metaphor shit makes me uh..Hm.

Touga: GETTING SECOND THOUGHTS.

Saionji tries to copy akio, and immediately shot down, shits dumb.

Shirt open utena? Copying princly(???) manners there.

Night Dueling...?

So...what's up Touga?

REAL STARS. SEEING REAL STARS FOR THE FIRST TIME!

And it shows the castle? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Man, touga realizing he fucked up but big.

I'm not sure if he's fucking around or for real right now. This is a cute as hell moment i'll grant, but suspect. Touga's got a history.

So he does care. Oh...So that's why he has to win. To keep her away from Akio? But...what's up with that.

...So is Saionji to Anthy as Touga is to Utena? Huh...?

Shadow Time...? Prince of the Horse and the Prince...uh...Hm.

Apocalypse time Hoo boy.

Huh. The Roses growing in anthy's clothes....I wonder if they're supposed to be sorta like...Swords? Analagous to Swords.

Touga and Saionji...Yeah I think that's a HARD ass confirm there. Wait oh my god really?????

That no budget though.

….Touga said he'd protect her and....EVERYTHING GOT REALLY FUCKING WEIRD. THE CARS. ANTHY

Oh man the cars are getting HOT wrecked.

Yo. YO GUYS THIS IS DOPE.

Are the cars the dudes/princes familiars...?

Is it over for us?

BEWARE THE ROSE BRIDE AND END OF THE WORLD

hoo boy. That's...a long ass pause there. And whispering akios name and YEESH SWORDS

oh god is it happening? Oh god it might be happening.

OH FUCK IT HAPPENED. AND SHE LOOKS BROKEN AS SHIT RIGHT NOW.

Utena is...uh...not here right now.

Nanami was RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME. TRIFLING AS HELL AS SHE WAS SHE WAS RIGHT.

ALSO BLUE HAIR AND JURI MIRROR UTENA AND TOUGA OK GOT IT. Shiori is Anthy then I guess.

Utena don't you know how much i've despised you? HOLY SHIT

Episode 37

Hey, Hey, Utena. SHITS FUCKED. ITS HIS FAULT.

DON'T TAKE THE RING OFF OH FUCK. She remembers. Oh boy. Ohhhhhhhhboy.

Only realizing how many fake ass stars are in the apartment.

Anthy is acting more robotic than usual.

Forgive Me! Chuchu.

Oh, the Rose bundle has the whole set of colors don't it. Yep. Orange, green, blue, yellow, red.

End of the World doesn't want things to change?

You two just gonna...just gonna admit how close you are. Touga. Saionji.

Anthy can hear the car noises. If you can still hear it.

GOD I HATE THIS MAN SO MUCH.

Anthy on her mind.

No star mention huh. Stars don't interest him....Hm.

Only place you can see stars are in Anthy and Utena's room.

Is this the first time we've seen utena in red?

….I JUST realized how immensely creepy this picture taking thing is from Akio. Somehow.

Anthy: My brother loves you as well miss utena.

Oh she's fucking up the ball game.

I love this life, I hope our feelings stay the same between the three of us.

Well fucking up the ballgame is off. But falling out the pattern. Never a good sign.

Juri and Miki to the rescue?

Utena is chosen to bring the world revolution. And she doesn't...want it. Been playing prince..So you could make yourself a prince.

Juri: What're you gonna do about anthy. You love her right. You...You know that right?

Nanami to the rescue. YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TRICKED YOU MORONS. STAY AWAY FROM AKIO AND ANTHY.

Nanami is a good girl, if a bit of a bitch..

Kozue watching like a hawk.

Miki: Hey I'm a bit in love with you.

Juri: COINCIDENCE?

Duel for her huh. HUH?

Shadow Girls...Why aliens crashing into the tower?

Utena's the Actress here. Shadow Girls OTP. Only one girl can be chosen at the audition.

So, a taste of the princess life?

Hoo boy...Why does he look so fucking angry. Also Anthy with the uh...weirdly sexual pains there.

What do you wanna do in the future Anthy?

Cantarella. A Deadly Poison. Why...are you just bringing that up. Poisoned Tea and cookies...huh?

What's with the record skip.

BOTH OF US TOGETHER 10 YEARS FROM NOW. Yes it would be nice. Just...Just ask her out utena. Please.

...Why are you on the ledge Anthy. uh...Is this a suicide HO SHIT.

I just can't go on. Anthy just...legit tried to kill herself? She just tried to kill herself.

Devoted to true friendship? A gullible fool?

Anthy. You can still turn back huh. Ring On. Prince Mode Engaged. Let's just fucking go.

Episode 38

APOCALYPSE AT THE START? UH. UH PATTERN BREAK? Uh...Shit.

Last two eps, now is the time I guess.

Hold Hands in the face of the End of the World. Let's goooooo

So...That's Dios. And Akio in front. So they're not the same person. For sure.

The Castle where a prince and princess will live together happily

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO ANTHY JESSU CHRIST THAT WAS SCARY.

Rose Bride Utena.Make her into a rose bride. Hit him utena.

Yes, what does happen to Anthy. Rose Bride forever. Swords for ever.

Oh are they building on the suicide thing? Please and thanks.

Oh anthy REALLY wants to die. Like she is not even trying to stay alive.

The Rose Bride, a doll with no heart, to be abused and used huh.

Anthy and Utena finally having a heart to heart.

...Kinda feel like they're talking past each other though?

TAKE BACK THE SWORD.

Dios on her side.

The Prince and Castle are illusions. So that include the school...?

Uh...Uh...the star gazing room? Planeterium, that's the word.

Akio's room is the tip top. Casts Illusions.

Is it so wrong? YES FUCKER JESUS.

YOU ARE AN ADULT YOU FUCK. ITS NOT POSSIBLE TO BE FAIR.

You never tried to understand anthy. Huh...

They are throwing so much here. Like god damn.

Akio claims

HELLAVATOR?

He's trying so hard to get that sword from Utena.

He's...crying?

JUST A WITCH.

OH GOD THE SHELL. ITS BEEN SO LONG!

Nanami too!?

Smash the Worlds shell....oh the end of the world.

The Revolution Duel Has Begun huh.

Akio with his off brand Utena Outfit.

Real Combat huh?

Akio is REFUSING to explain himself. Which is markedly different since he's the only adult here.

I'm Gonna be a Prince...Oh shit is this the duel opening shot. Illusory construct. Oh boy. Oh boy that shit was literal wasn't it.

Anthy...? She looks uh...Not Ok.

Akio isn't though. He's looking uh...Bad too.

ANTHY? ANTHY?! WHAT TU FUCK? THATS HOW YOU END THE EPISODE?!

HOW YOU GONNA STAB UTENA LIKE THAT?

EPISODE 39

uh...pattern breaking again. Where's the opening. Last time to break a pattern I guess. Chance to.

FUCKING STABBED HER! WHY.

You remind me of Dios. But you can never be my prince cause you're a girl.

uh.

Uhhhhhhh.

The Duel Named Revolution. Utena is...Her Their Representative.? She's their Rep.

A boy saved juri's sister, and died. They can't recall his name. Uh...hm.

Y'all just gonna have corn cookin though.

Anthy....?

Do you hate what i've become? Why is he crying?

Y'all just gonna leave Utena dying.

His knowledge is absolute. He chose this path. Claims to love her. FUCK HIM UP.

He couldn't win with his sword, so he stole utenas.

UTENA HANGIN ON.

Stubborn and reckless hero. A taste of true friendship.

OH FUCK THATS A LOT OF SWORDS

Shine with with human hatred. Summoned and deflected by Utena's sword?

HEY HEY WAIT A SECOND. THE FIRST SWORD THAT STRUCK HER IS DIOS/AKIOS. HEY WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE.

Takes the sword in place of the prince. Destiny of the Rose bride huh. And he's sitting here saying she chose this? YOU TALKED HER INTO IT ASSHOLE.

AND HE CAN'T EVE DO IT WITH THE SWORD HE WANTED SO BADLY.

So...Dios...Again. Through the door eternity, and the power to change things. Well damn fuck dios too.

It's interesting that Dios is presented as a powerful figure, but is ultimately pretty impotent here. He holds absolute power but cannot act? HUH.

Broke her sword huh.

Akio: I COULDn'T DO IT SO YOU CAN'T EITHER. FUCKING DUMBASS

Utena; FUCKING TRY ME. THIS SHIT IS GOIN DOWN.

Oh, friend pointed it out. Roses are all her color.

No power, you can't do anything. Just be dependent.

Utena: FUCK OFF. FUCK THIS DOOR. ANTHY

HAVENTS SEEN THIS SHIT IN A WHILE!

And the swords stopped.

Just realized how childish the prince is...

Oh hey a coffin. And her hands are bloody.

Oh...I think HES gonna have to deal with these swords now.

It's anthy in the coffin. Of course. Tracks.

Don't be afraid of the world says baby Utena. Word.

AT LAST WE MEET!? Yeah that tracks. That. Yeah. She's not being the rose bride. She's being Anthy.

TAKE HER HAND ANTHY GODDAMNIT

While i'm thinking, the whole edifice of end of the worlds power broke down.

Someday together. Uh. Uhhhhhh. Hey. Hey wait a minute.

HEY NO THATS NOT COOL. In the end I couldn't be a prince. Forgive me.

The Swords are...Uh...Utena. UTENA! oh..oh shit.

Wakaba. Hero.

Shadow Girls gonna be an actress. 10 year reunion.

Who was Utena again...? uh.. Utena Hopitalized? Uh...Hey wait a second.

Everyone seems to be..going on.

They're all forgetting she ever existed.

He really doesn't realize what happened.

She vanished from your world. Huh.

Oh hey she's in utena's colors. Well maybe her colors.

I SWEAR I'LL FIND YOU. HEY WAIT.

Hey Final frame Utena and Anthy. ALRIGHT.

MAY THIS ROSE REACH YOU.

NOW THE MOVIE

Revolutionary Girl Utena The Adolescence of Utena

Ok, so this isn't the movie proper, just the dvd thing, but Man Anthy looks super. She looks actually kinda confident and active and alive I guess?

Anyway, I'm going into this assuming it's some kind of sequel. I'm looking for that anyway. Whether it's true uh..We'll see.

HERE WE GO

Anthy and Akio on the tower? And now Just Anthy. At the toppest point where things were controlled right?

….what the fuck is this geometry.

Music still slaps.

I'm sure those pictures were supposed to mean something but fuck if I know what.

...What the hell.

Utena!? SHORT HAIR SHARP DRESSED!

Wakaba! Utena being the charmingest though.

On Air? Shadow Girl Radio! Listen Carefully!

This academy is castelvania.

Shadow girls: Dumped again? Rain on her parade? Huh.

Utena's Pavlor Instincts: PRINCE?! PRINCE WHERE!?

Budget yo. Miki and Juri though man. Juri's not a bad choice for prince.

Juri has like 8 times as much hair. Like Damn. Your Rival

Hey it's Touga! Utena is SHOOK

...The Rose Thing is BUSTED.  Just straight wrecked. The Garden. That's the word.

Hey touga what's with the spooky ghost bullshit.

HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN SINCE WE LAST MET.

I didn't come here looking for you. Surprised you're here.

I'll live with high goals.

More of a pink rose really. Unfurls to reveal...the ring? Huh. Rose Rain now.

Oh...That's DEFFINITELY the highest place in the academy. Structurally uh...uh.......

The Rose Gate looks fucked up. Oh that's a lot of roses. Didn't anthy say something about tending roses...?

Are you not afraid? Anthy looks...really happy. Her hair is down.

I'm the only one captive to the roses. Why'd you come here?

Why'd you come to this academy? And Anthy stopped when she saw the ring. And kinda freaked out.

How do you know about that. Heyyyyyyyyyyy. Saionji.

Rose brides symbol. She's holding that pink/white flower pretty tight though.

Anthy just...kinda went back into robo mode there. And she's not...precisely feeling the ring thing.

Meanwhile, that gate effect.

Do you have a sword? (you know nothing. Last chance to take it off please.)

Utena. A broom ain't a sword, but yeah fuck him up. Ain't worse than what you.

Anthy slap count. But she's active here. She's being a person here unlike before which is.

Anthy is covering her ears.

You're the one who doesn't understand. Is there any girl who's happy to be treated like a possession.

I NEVER SAID THAT I WAS A BOY. FUCK OFF.

Anthy looking hopeful there. DIVE. YOU're NOT ALLOWED TO DUEL WITHOUT A SWORD.

And...Is this song from the original but better but....

Anthy and utena got back into the swing asap. Long Hair Utena returns. Prince Utena rather I guess.

GG Saionji.

PINK MOSTLY! ITS PINK MOSTLY! NOT RED. A LITTLE RED! OH MY GOD THIS MIGHT BE A LEGIT SEQUEL!? Kinda sorta. I'll have to explain myself later.

Touga and Utena are cute as kids. Look at em.

Anthy just...asserted herself.

I don't usually invite people to my room. And then you pull her onto your bed.

Mark of the rose, you know it don't you?

Uh...uh damn Anthy. She's just....straight up feeling up Utena. Looked shocked then certain.

Dreaming of the castle with the prince.

Kozue what are ...what's up with this room. Her prince drowned huh?

Probably the closest we'll get to duelist wakaba here.

Also trying to win her. Well I guess you could say he's here for the dueling.

Hey, Touga don't kiss and tell.

These two are...oddly friendly.

Touga, don't talk to Akio. It's never good.

Calling her a witch.

Prince was a lord of the flies. The witch turned them into a prince.

Wait, not Kozue, that was shiori.

KOZUE, just put a knife to her brothers throat. OK.

Uh...Sold to your father...? Where's nanami though. Calling him a customer makes this uh...infinitely skeeziesr.

Wow Shiori seems a bit uh...

Oh yeah, that's no good. Goddamn poor touga.

Touga: I will win. But I can't be cruel to Juri. High goals man.

This darkness leads to the end of the world....And Dios being a goddamn Cryptid.

The Revolution will begin soon.

Miki: My wish is to obtain more power.

Juri: I want power to be free. To be unconstrained.

Touchy Juri is cool. Big Big Sister Energy there.

Shiori being MAD damicky right now. Trifling. Just absorb Nanami or something?

Miki: Free from Constraints. I get it. Yeeeeeee.

Anthy Please step away from the edge. And you just flash stepped to the center. ok.

Utena is WAY more expressive here too.

“There is no prince” That's...pretty chilling coming from utena actually. And Anthy is so damn touchy feely.

Uh. Uhhhhhhh. ok. Axe antics.

But not in utena which is a step up.

Ooh the ground is mad pretty.

And the starrrs. YoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anthy! Looking mad gentle and sweet here. Duelist Utena! And Rose Bride Anthy!

Oh shit. This dance scene is...And it's their reflections .

NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME PASSES DON'T FORGET THTA PROMISE. IVE COME ALL THIS WAY AT LAST!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LIGHT IS ALWAYS SHINING!

THEIR EXPRESSIOSN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Oh it's the oninon boy.

Draw Each Other huh! eyebrow waggle

Anthy where the hell are you going.What the. And it's the tower huh.

It's just an obvservation room now though huh. Or in this version.

Anthy, smiles when she takes off the ring. SEQUEL VIBE INCREASES.

Anthy, is unquestionably the one in charge this movie. Compared to before. She's way more impish.

Like...How the hell did you talk her into posing nude exactly?

Utena. Utena are you asking her to strip- ANTHY!

Uh what's that sound. WHAT ARE THESE PICTURES? Uh...Uh...wait what's up with the anthy here.

Ok, so Akio/dios being a weirdo again....and there is a fucking hole in her chest. A big honking hole.

SHADOW TIMES:...

Is...Is that nanmi. There's Chuchu and nanami yep, ok. OK. Oh it's the three dudes too.

You had limitless budget and you put this shit in.

...What the fuck was that though. Crocodile kun.

Hey Akio looking...Cool as usual. But is he still awful?

Record skips. Great.

Did he roofie his sister.

Hey fuck that noise WE DUEL NOW

VS JURI

...People can SEE them dueling?

What's with Shiori though.

Juri once again, being a boss. Also, I just noticed that all of their outfits have gotten an upgrade.

...Miki what do you mean who is Touga.

Juri is...WAY madder about her pretending to princedom than before.

Dios Overlay. And Anthy seemed shocked.

…....A Dead Akio. And he was buried under the ground. And Anthy looked...kinda...pissed.

Anthy killed Akio. And Shiori? Out here pulling shit?

...Oh Akio thought she was asleep when he pulled his shit. Hoooooboy.

Oh the interview room. Shadow room?

Akio freaking the fuck out and he killed her.

And he's dead. Pretty pathetically actually.

Deffo the shadow seminar. Hellavator!

...Touga?

So castle showed up when she killed her brother.

Is...Touga dead.

They keep going back to this drowning kid.

Hero Touga. The Touga we deserve.

Well he died in water and not fire, so...Go him. Seemed pretty chill about it.

I finally found you utena. Power of miracles as long as you stay here.

Pull the sword out and just put that shit back in.

Let's get the fuck out of here-CARRED

TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD

Best version of the Apocalypse song, but why a fucking carwwash. Who thought this made sense. It's DOPE to look at but like damn man.

Utena makes a DOPE car though. Like that shit looks awesome. SHES RUSTING  ANTHY. PUT THE KEY IN HER.

Shadow Radio! Hot Damn, Kage OS looks DOPE.

They're all pink haired shadow gals. Which is neat.

Wacky Races Yo.

BIG MISTAKE THINKING YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TURN INTO A CAR.

Only one who escapes this world. The only one who deserves it is beautiful me. Well...Rip Shiori.

OH ITS THE SWORDS. THEY'RE THE SWORDS.

Ok, this makes CONSIDERABLY more sense if you think of it as a sequel I think.

Needs help? Stuco Squad is there for youuuuuuuuu.

Or at least those who remain.

….WAKABA IS THE JEEP!?

Saionji: I have your back. And when we get to the outside world, I will be there to seduce. The fucking dork.

Oh hey it's the castle making what I must assume is it's last appearance....Oh that's ominous. Das big.

THAT OPENING THEME YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Still freaking weird, but Shadow Girls got your back..

HYE THATS CHEATING!

Oh hey, it's everyone's favorite dickhead.

Where you can be a living corpse.

You can only be a prince in that world.

Goodbye brother, you are no longer my prince.

Hey Akio, how is it you're still the worst.

The balancing act there is crazy like damn you two.

Shadow Girls no more! But we'll miss you.

Anthy Himemiya and Utena Tenjou as the Shadow Girls huh.

Man, the real world looks like shit. (?real World?)

The logistics of it aside, that's a hell of a cool shot.

Return to the outside world we're from. Explore and make the world bigger. Ok. Ok. I get you.

Also. That made LESS sense with context.

[kylermalloy]

My Official Unofficial Ranking of Supernatural Seasons That Nobody Asked For

This was...surprisingly easy. For someone who has a hard time picking favorites, I’m apparently quite eager to throw some seasons of one of my favorite shows under the bus.

My reasonings for this ranking are...all over the place. Since I’m considering seasons as a whole, I look mostly at the overall narrative structure, the prevalent themes, and the major character arcs. I won’t take individual/one-off episodes into much consideration...except for when I do. I won’t like some seasons/story arcs for any rationale between “this was sloppily executed,” “the message is misunderstood by viewers,” or even just that gif of Chris Evans “I don’t wike it.” I’m trying to look at seasons and storylines objectively, but I guarantee my Sam!girl bias will peek through at some point. Also, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point after I post this!

From bottom to top:

14 - Season 14

Ah, the twilight years of SPN. Now that we know this is the penultimate season, I’m a bit more lenient toward its shortcomings. Long running shows usually do stutter to a halt, story-wise. But still. I’m not taking it out of the bottom spot.

What was this season even about? Michael overtaking Dean? Nah, that barely lasted three whole episodes. Jack becoming evil? Not until the last six episodes. Team Free Will becoming a cohesive family unit? Lol. For a season that tried to set up Jack’s evil arc as a kid betraying his family, I hardly saw this “family” except in fanworks. The most heartfelt moments remained between Sam and Dean (not that I’m complaining about that—I loved those moments!) Was there an overarching theme besides “nobody is okay, especially Sam”? Season 14 is clumsy, unfocused, and does a poor job of telling the story it tried to tell. Even Mary’s second death reeked of “well, we didn’t know what to do with her and we needed a tragedy.” Oh yeah, and John was back for a hot minute.

13 - Season 9

Here’s one of these weird seasons. I like it, but I don’t. It’s well done, but it’s terrible. Also, I’m taking fan response into consideration on this one, since it colored my perception of it so negatively.

Season 9 could have been great. In a way, it was great. It was Dean’s dark arc—the part of Dean’s dark arc that I like. I’m not here to debate, just lay out the story. Dean stepped over a line. He tricked Sam into possession, lied to him for months, then refused to apologize afterward. He took the Mark of Cain as a penance, but it blew up in his face and turned him into something worse than he was before.

This is where fan response comes in. Fandom (from what I can tell; I wasn’t here back then) vilified Sam for setting boundaries with Dean, overwhelmingly siding with poor Dean who just didn’t want to be alone. The show, on paper, wasn’t trying to make the audience think this, but the POVs were skewed in such a way that we hardly got a chance to see Sam’s perspective and Sam’s trauma—so casual viewers didn’t really have a choice.

On a completely unrelated note (see, this is why this season is ranked so low) we have the angel storyline. What could’ve been a really cool and impactful story of celestial beings walking the earth, as well as Castiel exploring his new humanity in a way (that wasn’t just about sex) ended up a trite, dull affair about underdeveloped politics and characters I don’t care about. Did Metatron (the supposed big bad) even care about the Winchesters? I can’t remember. Only the actor’s indulgently entertaining performance saves that character. Even Castiel’s human arc was so short and ignored I sometimes forget it happened. This was a season that was so all over the place—good bones, bad execution.

12 - Season 12

This season is just...forgettable. Yet another season that was so all over the place—but unlike season 9, the story arcs did not culminate in a cool twist that pushed the SPN story to new heights. We had the BMOL, Mary’s return, and the Lucifer/Kelly/Dagon/nephilim story, and...honestly I can barely remember anything about them. The twisting story threads got interlocked at some points, like Mary working with the BMOL, and Sam and Dean working with them to take down Lucifer, but the threads were all wrapped up independently. To me, this suggests a lack of true investment in the stories and season arcs. Ultimately, Mary’s return was utterly wasted, the BMOL might as well have never existed, and the Lucifer storyline is a bloody, bloated carcass being dragged along behind the show by a fraying rope (called Buckleming) complete with a bad smell.

The reason I rank this season above season 9 is that I don’t shudder when I hear people talking about season 12. I don’t generally get angry when I think about it (except the way they did Crowley dirty) and it did give us Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever given us. (I’ll elaborate on that in a minute)

11 - Season 10

This is the season in which I don’t like Dean’s dark arc. By that I mean...it wasn’t much of a dark arc. Instead of exploring Dean’s inner darkness and the choices that led him to take the MoC, we get a meandering season of (pretty enjoyable) one-offs. We are repeatedly told Dean can’t fight off what he truly is—except we’re also being told that Dean can’t truly control what the MoC is doing to him, meaning the MoC isn’t what he truly is. It’s a mixed message, and it ends up being too many episodes in a row of Dean staring moodily at his arm while he drinks. Sorry, an ancient tribal tattoo does not a compelling big bad make.

Speaking of bad guys, though, season 10 gave us Rowena! And more Crowley material! And the Stynes—wait, no. We don’t talk about...whatever they were.

I do like Sam’s determination to save Dean, and I even like the underhanded methods he used to get the MoC off. Charlie’s death was a horrifying shock, but it actually fed the story very well. And I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about individual episodes, but Soul Survivor and Fan Fiction are both epic.

10 - Season 8

...this season. This season is such a mixed bag you could almost rank it as two separate seasons! ;) This was Jeremy Carver’s first season as showrunner—and while I like what he ended up doing, I hated the way he played with the brother dynamics throughout the season, especially the first half. Season 8 starts out disjointed, very unconnected from the previous season. The story thread of “Sam didn’t look for Dean” is overplayed and very tired. Also a bit of a reach, considering the season 5 finale. My point is, Sam and Dean both act like pod people for the first part of this season. Dean is mad at Sam for...doing exactly what Dean himself did a few years ago (fandom misses the nuance of Dean’s hypocrisy and jumps right in the blame-Sam boat with him) and Sam is suddenly...living with a strange woman we barely get to meet and okay with not hunting anymore?

This is another example of the skewed POVs hurting the show’s message. We don’t get to see Sam’s grief the same way we saw Dean’s struggle in purgatory, and since Sam’s Amelia arc makes very little sense anyway, we’re forced to imagine it—and this is a disservice to both Sam and the overarching story.

However, the saving grace of season 8 is the second half. We get the bunker, the Trials storyline, which is a whump goldmine for my Sam-loving heart, and one of the best season finales this show has ever produced. I mean...they got married. In a CHURCH! I’m not really a wincester, but seriously how do you not ship it just a little when the show gives you stuff like THAT?!

*deep breath* I’m good. Moving on!

9 - Season 13

I...have a soft spot for this season. Anybody who follows me on here can probably guess why. That’s right, it’s Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever gifted us.

Let me explain. The narrative structure of the season is a mess. The exploratory theme of Sam and Dean as parents is derailed by the fact that Sam and Dean spend less than six episodes with their surrogate child and spend the rest of the season spinning their wheels until it’s time for the finale. Lucifer as a villain doesn’t give a crap about the protagonists, which makes him a really boring and terrible antagonist—to say nothing of the fact that two of the writers try to make him sympathetic and end up assassinating the character harder than Michael!Dean did. I only found Scoobynatural mildly entertaining. As for Asmodeus...who’s that?

Basically, the only shining light in this season besides the brothers is Jack. And we don’t even get a consistent characterization of him. He’s essentially a blank slate, which means we as fans and fanwork creators get to make him whatever we want. While he’s supposedly the Winchesters’ kid in canon, it’s rarely shown—that falls on us as fans to make a reality. And boy do we make it reality! This is where I found my corner of fandom, and that’s why this mess of a season ranks relatively high for me. Still in the bottom half, but it gave me one of the greatest gifts the show has ever given.

8 - Season 7

I shouldn’t have to defend myself, but while most of the fandom harbors a little black spot of hatred for this season...I don’t. Like, at all.

I don’t agree with all the creative choices of this season—the Leviathans were an out-of-nowhere big bad with no connection to the Winchesters. However, the guy who played Dick Roman did a fantastic job hamming it up. And I love how all the pieces came together in the end—Sam and Dean, Cas, Crowley, even Meg as a surprise reluctant hero. We also got Charlie! And Kevin! Bobby got a fantastic arc, both before he died and from beyond the grave. And Crowley, even though he helped win the day, also rigged the game so he took all the pieces left on the board. Mad respect for my king.

Also, as a stalwart fan of Sam whump, Sam’s hallucination storyline was all kinds of awesome. (Except for how it abruptly ended and was never spoken of again)

I know objectively this season isn’t very good, but I still find myself rewatching it a surprising amount. I have a soft spot for Sera’s storytelling, and she did not have complete control over the creative decisions for this year. Season 7 only barely misses out of the top half.

7 - Season 3

This season is great, it really is. I think the main reason I rank it so low is because of the shortened season—Sam’s aborted arc. And that was obviously out of everyone’s control; the creators had to just pick up the pieces and make do with what circumstances gave them.

Basically, I don’t have anything bad to say about this season. It’s a brother-lovefest, it gives us Bela and Ruby, and yes we get some truly great one-off eps. Bad Day at Black Rock, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Jus in Bello, and Ghostfacers are among my favorite episodes to rewatch. I just mainly miss the end of Sam’s arc. Although I do appreciate the writers’ strike giving us Castiel instead, I still wish we could’ve gotten to see boyking!Sam save his brother.

6 - Season 2

While on the surface season 2 is barely different than season 1, it also gives us loads of gamechangers. It’s the coming-of-age season—Sam and Dean aren’t kids anymore; in fact, they aren’t anyone’s kids. The season bookends of John’s death and Sam’s death make a horrible tragedy that I don’t even care much what’s in the middle.

But then again, everything in between is so good. There’s not much of an overarching story, just a sense of dread and desperation as...something...draws near. (We don’t even know what it is, but it still scares us! It’s masterful!) The tone is consistent and effective, the brother dynamics are still balanced enough to fully enjoy, and of course...there’s Playthings. :)

(Y’all are gonna stop believing me when I say I’m not a wincester, I can feel it. What can I say, I have incestuous shipping tendencies.)

5 - Season 11

This is a season that I could tear limb from limb for falling so flat in the end, but...somehow I can’t bring myself to. I didn't find myself into the Amara storyline too much, mainly because the God/Darkness sibling dynamic wasn’t developed enough to parallel with Sam and Dean invest in. But this season does an awesome job of healing the brother dynamics. While seasons 8, 9, and 10 were fight-heavy, Sam and Dean spend this season in relative peace. In times of potential crisis, they band together instead of fracturing apart. And that, honestly, is enough for me to forgive...well, a lot, plotwise. The Dean/Amara connection that went nowhere, the Casifer storyline that went nowhere, the Darkness’s grudge against her brother that...went nowhere...and I’m not even going to touch on the Sam/Lucifer dynamic that started out SO GOOD and then...well...

Again, I’m not going to touch on it. I love this season despite its flaws.

4 - Season 1

Here it is. The season that started it all. I said I was going to consider mostly narrative structures for this ranking, yet here season 1 is without much of a narrative structure, fourth from the top.

The first season of a show is always the feel-around-in-the-dark season. This is where we learn the rules of the show, how the world works, and most importantly, who our characters are. We spend 22 episodes with the writers and actors just...figuring out who Sam and Dean are, most especially who they are to each other. They were so successful in this that they spawned a fifteen year phenomenon centered around this fraternal love story. As an additional plus, since the characters were so new, season 1 gives us the most balanced POV between the brothers. We get to feel for both of them without being pitted against each other, and I appreciate that more than words.

The horror is old-school, the storytelling can be a bit cliche, but every show has an origin story and I’m in love with this one.

3 - Season 6

Again, I love Sera Gamble’s storytelling. It’s most evidenced here in her first year of showrunning. This season had the astronomical task of following up season 5. How do you follow up the literal apocalypse?

...Astoundingly well. To me at least.

This season’s narrative structure is my favorite. It’s kind of a noir thriller, with more twists and turns than Supernatural usually gets. In fact, having now watched Vampire Diaries and The Originals, season 6 of SPN kind of echoes those shows. (I don’t think it’s coincidence that TVD aired its first season one year prior to this)

Instead of trying to outdo the literal devil (the mistake of latter seasons) we spend most of season 6 not knowing who the big bad is. We meet a few baddies, get backstabbed by former friends, and we’re told Raphael is a threat, but in the end the big bad was the friend we made along the way—Castiel. It’s depressing, it’s not what we expected, and it’s honestly a departure from “traditional” SPN. But I like it. I like it a lot. If Sera had been allowed to do more seasons like this, she probably would’ve stayed longer.

2 - Season 4

I love a lot of things about this season. The way they handled the angels was great—the right way to do unknowably powerful beings. I like Sam’s dark arc. It’s coupled perfectly with his good intentions and his all-consuming love for his brother. The plot twist at the end is perfect—Sam, in doing the right thing, unleashes the worst evil this world has (yet) known.

The tone is also perfect. It’s dark. A little edgier. Edging toward eldritch horror rather than ghost horror. Balanced out with light episodes that pack a hard punch in the feels regardless. And this is a little thing, but the color grading shifts back to more sepia after the technicolor of season 3. It gives us this little sense of dread throughout the season without even knowing why.

I could complain about the skewed POVs, about how fandom still sometimes crows “Dean was right about Lilith!” when all Dean opposed was Ruby and the demon blood—he wanted killed Lilith too. But as this instance of POV-warp serves the storyline in a good, necessary way, and Sam truly did need to be brought back from his dark path, I’m choosing to ignore it.

1 - Season 5

Are we surprised? Maybe some Sam fans are—I know some who get vexed about the blame for the apocalypse being solely and constantly placed on Sam...but I’m not. The overall story of season 5 is just so good. Lucifer is a good villain in this season. Sam and Dean have an excellent healing arc. The angels are good villains, also ironic mouthpieces of the overarching themes—despite touting “fate” and “unavoidable,” they are champions of free will, since they do whatever they want in their father’s absence. Zachariah most notably. Castiel was utilized in a good way (whereas now he struggles to still have purpose in the show) Bobby and Crowley both were good in this season (and also sparked a rarepair that’s—hilariously—canon) and this season did not pull any punches when it came to death. Even the main protagonists were shot point-blank halfway through the season! (Don’t talk to me about the samulet, I can’t do it without bawling)

And Swan Song remains my favorite season finale and overall episode. Dean relinquishing control of his little brother, allowing him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the world. I still halfway wish the series ended with Sam and Dean both throwing themselves into the Cage, destroying themselves for the world, out of love for each other. (insert “poetic cinema” meme)

And there we have it! To my mutuals, I’d love to hear your thoughts or your rankings. And to @letsgobethegoodguys - Steph, since this was so hard for you, I did it myself so I could feel your pain. 😘

[warlockwriter]

To Lose Thee Were To Lose Myself: Chapter 5

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 5/10

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam

Chapter Word Count: 1947 (Story so far: 8422)

Summary:  Sam didn’t believe the “new man” speech from Gabriel, but he understood recovery and knew sometimes you just had to put on a brave face. He still struggled with his own recovery journey. Perhaps the two of them could help each other? And gank a few monsters along the way?

A/N: Begins right after 13x20 and goes canon divergent from there. Title from Paradise Lost by John Milton. Many thanks to @archangelgabriellives for the beta read and a couple of awesome suggestions/additions! Story is complete. I’m just trying the serial approach because I’ve never done it with a fanfic before.

Ao3 Link

About four hours later, they arrived in Colby, Kansas. It was a typical Kansas town with a population of around five thousand if Sam had to guess. He and his brother had done so many hunts in towns like this that he'd gotten to be an expert at guessing population.

They had stopped by Walmart to get Gabriel a suit. Dean's suggestion, about an hour outside of Colby, had led to a (mostly) friendly debate about the suitability (or not) of Walmart clothing which had ended when the archangel learned, to his chagrin, that he still didn't have enough juice in the tank to whistle up a suit.

Of course, Gabriel being Gabriel, as soon as he put on the ill-fitting suit, he discovered he did have enough juice to tailor it. Sam called him on it, pointing out that the kind of lowly FBI agents who would be investigating this sort of case probably didn't earn enough for that level of tailoring. Gabriel grumbled, and knocked back the level of tailoring to "fit well" from "fit like he'd been born to it."

There had been another debate about automobiles, and Dean had won this one, pointing out that FBI agents didn't usually walk to police stations from cheap motels and get all sweaty. Sam conceded the point and hot-wired a late model sedan they found one town over. He made a mental note to leave a (not even slightly accurate) explanation of why the car had gone on a joyride from Brewster to Colby.

They moved gear from Baby to the new car in the Walmart parking lot. Sam rummaged around in the trunk, making sure he had everything he'd need. He doubted Gabriel had enough juice to summon an archangel blade, so he tapped his brother on the shoulder and asked, "Dean, where's the spare angel blade?"

Without even looking, Dean reached into a corner of the trunk and produced the blade. It was a complete mess in there, but the elder Winchester could find anything within seconds. Sam grunted his thanks and handed the silvery blade to Gabriel.

The angel took it and gave it a look usually reserved for cute, if slightly obnoxious, pets. "You do realize this is the equivalent of a water gun to me?" However, Sam noticed he made it vanish up one sleeve readily enough, with a muttered "Just until I can summon my own."

Sam gave an internal nod. He'd called that one right.

Dean handed Sam a machete and said casually, "Water guns came in really handy against Leviathan."

The sudden, complete silence from behind them made both Winchesters turn to see Gabriel's stunned expression.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You guys fought Leviathan? When was this?"

Dean grunted. "Huh. You really have missed a lot. Fought them after Cas decided to try the God route by sucking up souls from Purgatory."

Gabriel tilted his head and blinked at them. "And how'd that work out for him?"

"Pretty much as well as you'd expect," Sam replied.

Gabriel got this look in his eyes, as if he were calculating. A moment later, they snapped back into focus and he said, "Borax?"

Dean grinned. "Got it in one."

Gabriel nodded, a look suspiciously like respect spreading across his face. "Good thinking. Those fuckers are nasty."

"Tell us about it," Sam said, slipping a shotgun into his bag.

Gabriel pointedly cleared his throat and eyed the shotgun.

"What?" Dean asked. "You want one of those? Know how to use one?"

That elicited another look, this one the kind reserved for puppies messing on the carpet. "Hello," he said, drawing the word out. "Archangel. Been on Earth for millennia. You monkeys haven't invented a weapon I haven't used."

Dean reached into the trunk, drew out a shotgun and handed it to Gabriel, challenge evident in every move.

The archangel took the weapon, broke it expertly and examined the gun professionally. He held out a hand, and Dean gave him several shells, which Gabriel confidently loaded into the breech. Then he closed and latched it with a casual one-handed motion and looked at Dean, a smug half-smile on his face.

Dean nodded. "You'll do." He glanced through Sam's bag, as if doing a final inventory, and closed the Impala's trunk. "I think that's everything you need. I'll head to the Bunker, pick up Cas and meet you back here. Assuming you two can solve a simple vampire case without help, we can head back after that and figure out our next moves about Michael."

Gabriel gave a small huff that sounded like annoyance but didn't say anything.

Sam nodded, shouldered his bag and said, "Sounds like a plan." He'd already changed into his suit and looked ready.

"Wait a minute," Dean said as he walked around to the driver's door. He opened it and rummaged in the center console. A moment later, he pulled out two badges. Handing one to Gabriel, he said, "I assume you can change the photo. This one should be perfect for you."

The archangel read the name on the badge and started laughing. He sat down on Baby's bumper and laughed for at least a minute.

Sam glanced at the name on his own badge and joined Gabriel's laughter.

Dean just watched both of them with a self-satisfied smirk.

***

This small a town didn't have a coroner's office, so Sam and Gabriel drove to the local county government building, which served many duties, including coroner and police station.

On their way in, Gabriel glanced around quickly.

"What?" Sam asked.

The angel reached out. Sam felt a tiny buzz, and, suddenly, his suit fit better.

"If we're going to be seen in public together, you're going to have to look the part."

Sam looked down at himself. Gabriel had whistled up basically the same level of tailoring as on his own suit. The hunter had to admit that it did feel better. However, he said, "Aren't you supposed to be recovering your grace?"

Gabriel shrugged. "That used hardly any, and it was totally worth it."

Sam snorted and opened the door into the building. With the ease of long practice, he headed for the lobby desk. As he walked, he pulled out his FBI badge. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Gabriel doing the same.

"Agents Collins and Gabriel, ma'am," Sam said to the woman behind the counter. She appeared to be about thirty, with short brown hair, brown eyes and glasses. She was dressed in a police uniform, and he noted her name tag read "Williams."

She looked at both badges with an air of suspicion. "What brings the FBI to our town?"

Sam was about to answer when Gabriel leaned over the counter and fixed her with his amber gaze. He combined flirtatious and professional in exactly the right measure, and Sam watched her expression relax before Gabriel had spoken his first word.

Sam decided he'd keep his mouth shut and enjoy this.

"I know, Ms. or is it Mrs. Williams?"

"Carol," she responded.

Gabriel smiled, warm without crossing any lines. "Carol. A lovely name. Now, I'm sure your excellent town has had little reason to entertain a visit from the FBI, and ours is merely routine. I understand there was a recent murder?"

She nodded. "That's right, but it was just an animal attack. Nothing the FBI would want to investigate."

Sam noted that she seemed slightly disappointed that she couldn't offer anything more interesting to keep them here. His eyes darted to her left hand. No ring.

Gabriel leaned a bit further into her personal space, smile still in place. "I know. That's exactly what I told my superior here." He made a little bob of his head in Sam's direction.

Playing along, Sam adopted a stern expression.

Carol's eyes went back and forth between them. A slight frown appeared on her forehead. "Surely you're the senior one here, Agent Gabriel?"

Sam had to work hard to keep his stern expression.

Gabriel winked at her. "You know how it is. Once a field agent, always a field agent. Anyway, I'm sure you're right, but I don't suppose there's any chance we could take a look at the body and autopsy report?"

She nodded. "I'll have to ask the Chief, but I'm sure he won't have a problem with it."

"We'd appreciate it, Carol," Gabriel said, voice still smooth.

She nodded and went into the back, presumably to check in with the afore-mentioned Chief.

"Smooth," Sam said, his voice pitched for angel hearing.

Gabriel flashed him a quick grin. "And I bet you were thinking working with me would be like working with Castiel, who couldn't even hold his badge the right way up."

Sam stifled a bark of laughter at that. "No, I figured you'd be better than that, but I am surprised some of those lines worked as well as they did."

"It's all in the delivery, Sammich," Gabriel said, his tone smug.

Sammich? He couldn't decided whether to laugh or groan.

Carol came back a moment later. "Chief's busy, but he said he didn't see any reason not to let you see the body. He did warn me that you'd find it a huge waste of time."

"It's our time to waste, ma'am," Sam said, keeping his voice stern, as if he'd just dressed down his "subordinate."

Carol gave Gabriel a sympathetic look as she ushered them into the back.

Gabriel let her get a few steps ahead of him before he turned to give Sam an approving wink.

She led them to a room which was barely large enough to hold an examining table and a free-standing mortuary cabinet. She opened the cabinet and pulled out the only body it contained. "Report's on that shelf over there."

Sam picked up the indicated report while Gabriel skillfully guided her out of the room with a quiet, "Thank you, and I'm sure we'll be out of your way soon."

Sam flipped through the report while Gabriel examined the body.

"Definitely a vampire kill," Gabriel said absently.

Sam glanced up just in time to see the angel lean over the body and...was he actually smelling it?

"Gross, man!"

Gabriel waved him off. "I can focus down to just one scent if I want to." Another sniff, and he straightened up. "Thought I caught that when she opened the cabinet."

"Caught what?"

Gabriel flashed him a concerned look. "Werewolf."

Sam blinked. "Werewolf? You mean we're looking at a vampire and a werewolf working together?"

"Possibly more than one. The scent is faint, but I'm fairly sure there was the scent of at least two werewolves on that body."

Sam flipped open the report again. "That explains why they said it looked like the work of different types of animals. Of course, they are thinking scavengers, not predators."

Gabriel was examining the body closely. "Considering that you hunters have basically hunted both vampire and werewolves into near extinction, I'm surprised they didn't start working together before now."

"Good point," Sam said, watching the archangel examine the body.

"What I don't understand," Gabriel said after a moment. "...is why they didn't try to turn him. Looks like a healthy guy." He poked the corpse's arm "Decent muscle tone. Not much fat. Fairly young. Would have made a decent vampire or werewolf."

"I'm less worried about why they didn't turn him than I am about finding the nest and/or pack."

Gabriel walked away from the body, obviously finished with his exam. "Oh, that's easy."

Sam raised an eyebrow as he put down the autopsy report. "Oh?"

"Sure. Let me show you why you hunt with archangels."

TBC

Tag list: @sageclover61 @snips-snails-skittles@idabbleincrazy@ihaveallthesefeelsokay@calamitychaos @gryffindorofcabin21 @kydrogen-monoxide @everyoneforgetsadam @team-gabriel @shiny-crystaline

If you want to be added to the tag list, just let me know. I appreciate everyone who is reading and commenting on this story!

[xwing-baby]

Mr Darcy (Mick x Reader)

Mick Davies x Reader

Characters: Mick Davies, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Arthur Ketch

Word Count: 6728(sorry not sorry) 

Warnings: Angst, canon violence, mention and slight description of injury to reader and car accident

A/N: Hey y’all sorry I haven’t been around much I’ve been very busy with exams but now I only have one left so I’m back. If y’all have an requests for something you’d like please hit  me up! xox

MASTERLIST

"Wait… you're…"

"Yep! Y/n, nice to meet you,"

"Mick, Mick Davis,"

"It's so nice to hear another British accent again!" I laughed as I shook his hand, "Sounds so strange now, where you from?"

"London," Mick said with a smile, "Southend,"

"Ah, cool, my mum is from Lewisham," I said. Mick smiled and nodded, "I grew in Surrey, moved to Kansas back in 2009,"

"That'll explain the twang then,"

"Hm yeah, hanging ‘round with these idiots all day does that to a girl I'm afraid," I laughed, playfully nudging Sam and Dean. They laughed and rolled their eyes.

"Alright, you two can go have tea and crumpets in a bit but we've got hunt to go to?"

"Yeah, of course," Mick walked over to his desk and grabbed a file from the cabinet, "Three dead in Dallas, two hearts missing and one throat missing"

"Hearts and throat?" Sam asked as he took the file. Mick nodded.

"Strange isn't it? Now, usually, you would never see two monsters teaming up but-"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," I continued scanning over the file, over Sam's shoulder.

"A vamp and a werewolf teaming up? So what you've driven so many monsters out they've decided to help each other now?" Dean said grumpily, crossing his arms in defiance. He didn't want to help, no matter how cool the case sounded. Come on, a vamp and a werewolf team up must be as good as it sounds.

"So it seems," Mick shrugged.

"So let's go then, can't waste time!" I jumped back and clapped my hands excitedly.

"Actually there's one more thing," Mick said, seemingly apprehensive.

"What?" Sam asked, looking up from the file.

"I've got to come with you," 

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. I elbowed him for being so rude which made him yelp and scowl at me.

"That's fine, Mick," I said sharply glaring at the eldest Winchester, "You can ride with me,"

Dean sighed again and walked out the door, grumbling to himself about something or other. Sam quickly followed, giving an apologetic smile to me and Mick.

"We should probably follow them, they're not going to wait around," I chuckled, Mick nodded and followed me out the door. "Don't take what Dean says to heart. He's just… strong on his morals. He doesn't necessarily hate you in particular-"

"Just the people I work for and what I stand for?"

"Exactly!"

--

The plan was fairly simple. Break into the house, kill the werewolf call the vampire on the werewolf's phone and wait for them to turn up and the kill them. Sorted. Shouldn't be messy, shouldn't be difficult in any way.

Annoyingly, Mick had already done the background information on the duo of monsters. We knew where they are, who they were and all we had to do was kill them. Sure, it took most of the fun out of the chase but it'd been so long since I'd killed something I was itching to go.

It was a two-hour drive to Dallas. Sam and Dean went in the Impala and Mick and I went in my car. It was a little at first but we soon fell into comfortable casual conversation.

"And you don't even understand how much I miss drinking proper tea!" I exclaimed. Mick laughed and nodded in agreement. "You know, I ordered some at a diner the other day and they brought me sweet tea. It's just cold tea with a crap tonne of sugar in! That is not tea!"

"A disgrace to our great nation!" Mick laughed.

"Absolutely!"

"You know, it is a shame you moved here so young. I think you'd be a great member of the men letters,"

My smile dropped and I sighed annoyed, "Yeah, I doubt that,"

"Why not?" Mick asked, "You're smart, quick and an impressive hunter,"

"I'm a hunter. Not a book worm," I snapped, "look, I don't want to talk about this. I understand you're only trying to help but I'm better on my own. Away from people,"

The Men of Letters was a sensitive subject for me. I knew about their antics way before they arrived in the US. Half of the reason my Mom had moved to over here was to get away from them. For a while, I forgot about them. Forgot about what had happened… but of course that all got brought back into the sun when Mick, Ketch and the many others arrived.

"But you're with the Winchesters do-"

"They're different," I snapped, now getting angry at him, "Can we please change the subject, Mick!"

"Um… yeah sure, sorry?"

"Just forget about it," I muttered, "How much further?"

"50 miles," Mick confirmed, glancing at the GPS on his phone.

"Great,"

By the time we arrived at the house, Sam and Dean were already there. The Impala was parked in the driveway, the front doors were open still and the door to the house was wide open. Something had happened. I parked my car next to the Impala and jumped out, grabbed my machete and a gun then raced into the house with Mick hot on my heels.

A loud gunshot resonated through the house. They were upstairs. I ran to the back of the house, where the kitchen was, to check everything was empty down here. It wasn't, a woman was facing away from the door, stuffing something into a bag but not seeming panicked. I motioned for Mick to check in the next room, which he did. He came back a minute later shaking his head, no one was there.

A loud thud came from upstairs then a knocking sound from the other side of the wall where I was stood. The lady turned around and walked towards us. I quickly hid back into the shadows. I heard a door open.

"Remi, what I said be quiet," The woman said.

"Mommy I'm scared," A little voice said, "When are we leaving?"

"In a second baby, just go back into your room okay?"

Mick stepped back for a second but stepped into a pile of wood logs, making them crash on the floor. Mick looked panicked and froze. The door slammed and I knew we were done for. Without really thinking I jumped out in front of the woman. Her teeth were replaced with fangs and she growled. Found the vampire!

I leapt for the vampire as she slammed the door shut. However, she was quick and shoved me away before I could get to her. Surprisingly strong, she knocked me on my ass making me slide across the linoleum floor until I crashed into the wall. She picked up a knife and snarled.

I jumped up and lunged for her again, slashing her arm with my machete. I quickly looked around in the seconds that the vampire recoiled and Mick was nowhere to be seen. I was about to wonder where he was but the vampire was back. She went to stab me while I was stood still but I moved just in time, she fell forward and I caught her arm, spinning her arm back and bringing her back to my chest I yanked the knife from her hand and threw it across the room, the metal clattering against the floor. I shoved her off me and onto the ground. I picked my machete back up and smirked triumphantly as the vampire cowered and backed into the corner. I couldn't help but smile a little bit, my god had I missed this power. I followed her backwards, pushing her closer and closer to the wall. I had her cornered.

"Do it," She snarled, "Just get this over with, don't showboat you pig,"

"Oh, I can showboat as much as I want, bitch," I pointed at her with the tip of my machete. "Because I'm the one was the knife, have fun in purgatory," I pushed the machete into her throat, blood poured out instantly. The vampire screamed and fell to the floor, dead. I pulled out the machete and swiftly chopped off her head, just to make sure.

"Vamp done," I smiled, satisfied, as I wiped the blood off my face. Sam and Dean walked down the stairs covered in a lot less blood but a lot more dust.

"Werewolf sorted," Dean replied.

"Where's Mick?" Sam asked. I frowned and peered back around the corner to the main corridor of the house- where I'd just come from. He was just there! Suddenly a loud cry and a thud came from the basement.

"Son of a bitch," Dean cursed. Quickly we ran down the corridor to the kitchen where the door to the basement was.

The door was open, the light was on but no more sound came from down there. I pulled my flashlight from my coat pocket and balanced my gun on top. I went first, then Dean, then Sam. Together, we crept down the wooden stairs into the basement.

At the bottom, there was another corridor. This house was huge! Two doors to the left and two doors to the right. All closed and all quiet behind. Silently, I motioned for us to split up. Sam and Dean went left and I went right. The first doors were locked but the last one wasn't. I pushed it open slowly revealing a small room with only one window in the far corner that was so covered in spider web and dirt that it barely let a sliver of light in. Two people stood in the centre of the room, one was a child, Remi I guessed, and the other was Mick... wait!

"Mick! No!" I exclaimed quickly running and sliding in front of the vampire child. He whimpered and shuffled backwards against the wall. "Mick you don't have to do this…" I said, slowly moving my hands up and on top of Mick's gun trying to push it down.

"He's a monster," Mick stammered. He trying to sound sure of himself but failing miserably.

"I know, but that doesn't mean he has to die. He's just a kid!"

"The code-"

"Screw the code! Go by your own code!"

"Put the gun down Mick," Sam's voice echoed through the empty room. Mick turned around, raising his shaking gun at Sam and Dean. He was scared, scared of himself, what would happen if he didn't kill the child and what would happen if he did. He was conflicted, his own mind was confused and running a million miles an hour in every direction.

"You don't have to do this," I repeated calmly.

"Please," The little boy whimpered behind me, sniffling and quietly sobbing. He was so scared.

"I'm sorry," Mick quickly raised his gun back and before any of us could do anything to shot exploded from the gun and pieced the little boy's, heart. He made no sound, just a small thud as he hit the floor.

I felt sick. I dropped my gun on the ground and stormed out, scuffing past Mick as I went- knocking him over. Sam and Dean followed soon after, none of us saying a word. Angry, disappointed and disgusted.

I drove back to the bunker with Sam and Dean. I didn't care about my car and I definitely didn't want to drive in it if meant I had to drive with Mick.

I thought he was different. I thought he was different. But no, I was wrong. He was a cold, senseless asshole like the rest of them.

--

It was getting late and thanks to the long drive and surprisingly exhausting hunt we were all too tired to want to drive all the back to Lebanon so Dean stopped off at a motel just outside of town. It was fairly nice actually, mainly due to the fact that we’d stolen a Men of Letters credit card so could get away with a bit of luxury. While Sam and Dean went to find us a room, I headed straight to the bar. Lord knows I needed a drink… or ten.

The bar was fairly busy but not crowded. An old juke box sat in the corner playing some old songs I’d never heard before. A group of bearded men sat in the back of the bar, giving me hungry stares as soon as I walked in. Another group of both girls and guys were sat at the bar, chatting away happily while a young brunette behind the bar got their drinks. She was so young she must only just be 21, possibly younger!

Never the less I ordered some top shelf whiskey, sticking it on the credit card, and sat in the corner trying to calm my angered nerves down. I looked up as the bell on the door rang and saw Mick, drenched in rain walk in. I hid behind the guy next to me and to my luck he didn’t notice.

Mick went and sat at one of the only empty tables alone and was joined by a few of the younger people in the bar a few minutes later. A watched them and my jealousy grew and grew as a pretty blonde spoke to Mick, standing way too close with her hand twiddling the ends of his hair. Just when I thought I was going to snap Sam and Dean entered.

The brothers spotted me instantly and walked over, smiling happily. I bought them some of the whiskey I was having and we went over to a booth.

“Damn this is good,” Dean exclaimed.

“Should be seeing as it’s top shelf,” I laughed as I sat next to him.

For the hours we talked and drank. Two turned into five which turned into eight- the joys of not paying with a stolen credit card! I was getting pretty drunk and the Winchesters weren’t far behind. Throughout the night, I kept an eye Mick and as you might think was a very bad idea. I was insanely jealous but also angry with myself for letting feelings take over so strongly. That plus the alcohol was slowly making me a bit of emotional mess. Currently I was at the angry stage but it wouldn’t be long before I cried.

“Ladies love accents,” Dean laughed as he looked over to Mick who now had three girls fawning over him.

“Hm yeah totally,” I grumbled looking back down into the amber liquid in my glass.

“Someone sounds a bit jealous!” Dean sang teasingly nudging me, laughing away to myself. I glared at him and shifted over in the booth away from him. “Aw don’t be like that I’m just teasing,”

“We all know you’ve had the hots for Mick since you met him! You never let us in your car but you let him straight away,”

“I just do let you two in my car because she doesn’t deserve your messy asses in her,” I corrected him, “And I definitely do not like Mick, you know my history with those dicks. Why would I like someone like him?” I spat with disgust as my eye found the Brit across the room again.

“Just saying hun, even if you don’t like him, he likes you,” Sam giggled, obviously drunk now.

“Well I- I,” I stumbled over my words as I tried to think of some comeback to that. Mick liked me? Holy crap! “You’re an idiot,”

“Wow, one of your best there L/n!” Dean cackled with laughter joining Sam’s loud laughter. Drunk Winchester’s were always so giggly but I couldn’t help and join in with them.  

We carried on having a good time, laughing and chatting away but then Sam and Dean got distracted by some girls in very short skirts asking for a game of pool, leaving me alone in the booth by myself. I yawned and looked at the clock on the wall realising it was almost two am. I was tired!

I got up, left the barman the credit card and waved goodbye to the Winchesters who barely even registered me, then went back to one of the rooms. Mick was nowhere to be seen.

I lay in bed still completely awake. The room was swaying slightly as the alcohol swam through my body. I was happily tipsy, and the happy feeling was very welcoming in my emotionally and physically drained body.

I was angry with Mick. I was angry at him for killing that child, I was angry at him for flirting with those girls, I was angry with myself for feeling like this over a guy- a men of letters member no more. I was meant to hate them, I did hate them but Mick was different. I could tell he was different, he listened, he wasn't patronising, and he wasn't like them. Sure, I'd only met a few of the M.o.L. but those experiences were less than good- only reinforcing my previous ideas of the bastards.

The door clicked open and I stayed still. I knew it was Mick but I still wanted him to feel bad for what he'd done. Mick stumbled around the room for a minute then flicked on the light.

"Y/n?" He said. I didn't reply. I just turned over in my bed so I was no longer facing him. "I know you're awake, I'm not stupid,"

"Go away,"

"I'm sorry about the kid Y/n but it had to be done," Mick gave an exasperated sigh when I didn't reply again. "Fine, be like that I'm taking a shower,"

I still didn't move and a few seconds later I heard the shower turn on. I sighed and sat up.

I lifted my arms up to take off my shirt ready for bed but I was not careful enough and yelped in pain as I accidentally pulled the stitches in my back, out. I got a nasty cut from a piece of metal when I got into a bad crash in my car- three weeks ago. A drunk driver smashed into the side of my car while I was asleep in it on the side of the road. I was very lucky to make it out alive. I got cut by my door smashing into me. Luckily it missed anything important- escaping with that cut and a mild concussion.

The cut was deep but the hospital cleaned and stitched it and I was good to go. Unfortunately, I was always pulling the stitches, I'd had Sam re-do them twice in the five days I'd been with the Winchesters. I would do it on my own but it was in an awkward position from my armpit, across my shoulder blade and down to my hip.

"Mick?" I called, "Mick!"

Mick quickly opened the bathroom door, looked over at me, worried, and quickly looked away- realising I was topless.

"Oh shit, sorry I-"

"Oh calm down, don't act like you've never seen a topless woman!" I laughed as I pulled the covers up a little bit over my exposed chest. "I need your help,"

"Um, I'm not s-sure if I-. " He stammered, still looking at the opposite wall.

"Mick, I've ripped the stitches on my back I'm not asking you to fuck me!"

Mick turned to face me now, blushing in embarrassment. "Oh right, sorry,"

"So, you gonna help before I get some infection from this nasty-ass bed?" I laughed. "There's some stuff in my bag under the-"

Mick walked over to my bag, unzipped it and rooted around for a second before stopping and staring at something.

"Pink?" Mick wrinkled his nose up as he pulled a pair of pink panties out of my bag. He couldn't stop the proud little smirk on his face though.

"Yeah! So what? Put them away and get the first aid kit,"

Mick laughed and picked up the kit then placed it on the bed. I leant forward a little, moving my right arm up and waited a moment. Mick didn't seem to be doing anything.

"Alright?" I asked, peering over my shoulder at the Brit. He had an odd expression on his face: concerned and bashful. He was just staring, "Mick?"

"Hm? Sorry?"

"Are you going to get on with it or not?" I asked, laughing a little at the awkwardness of the position we were in.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just wondering how something like this could have happened. It's such an odd place… how did it happen?"

"Car crash," I said, "Nothing too bad, a drunk driver crashed into the side of my car while I was asleep in the back. Door caved in and cracked slicing up my back,"

"That sounds awful,"

"Eh, I've had worse," I shrugged, "Broke all the bones in my arm once falling through a floor in a house and- ow!" I yelped as Mick stuck the needle into the bruised area.

"Sorry, my fault!"

"Yeah no shit," I hissed. I let him get on with it from then on. However, the silence soon got awkward. Mick finished re-stitching my wound and I pulled my shirt back on.

"You know, I knew about you guys before you flew over right?" I said, deciding the silence was too much to bare anymore.

"Well, it was assumed that-"

"Not from the Winchesters. When I was a kid,"

"Pardon?"

"I mean you probably don't need to know this but my brother got into Kendrick, my grandfather was a Men of letters member and so we were guaranteed places,"

"You're a legacy!"

"Uh huh, my mum never got into it- wanted a normal kind of life I suppose. But my brother and I were really close to my grandad and got pulled in that way,"

"So, you never went to Kendrick?"

"No um something happened to my brother which meant I was never permitted to,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I took a deep breath, "My brother was thirteen at the time and things were going great for him. Top of his year, doing amazingly in academics and in the more specialised subjects. I was only six at the time, still in public education, but one day my brother didn't come home from school," I could feel my eyes water as I began to remember the day I'd tried to suppress for so long, "He got driven home in our private car so it was very odd. My Dad called the school and no one answered. So he went to find out himself, leaving me with the dog. My mum was away on business and she wasn't coming back until the end of the month. An hour passed, then two, then five and he didn't come home. He never came home," My voice cracked as I began to cry, Mick sat next to me again, "It wasn't until three days later when the head teacher-"

"Dr Hess?"

"Yeah, until Dr Hess came knocking that I knew. My brother was killed to allow some other kid to move up a class and my father was killed because he protested to this- for threatening to call the police!"

"Y/n… I didn't know,"

"Yeah, no one does. I had to carry on like nothing had happened. A member stayed in my house and watched over everything I did at school to make sure I didn't tell anyone. I was six! I didn't even tell my mum what happened until I was sixteen! All that time she thought they died in a car crash,"

"I'm so sorry,"

"So am I," I sighed. Mick remained silent and I suddenly felt very guilty, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to spill that all on you I just thought you should know and-"

"It's fine, I appreciate that you trust me with that- means a lot,"

"Well, someone's got to want you around," I joked, wiping my tears away. I sniffed and stood up, "I'm going to go get some air. I'll be back in a minute,"

"Are you okay? You shouldn't be going out so late on your own,"

"I'll be back in half an hour, okay?" I pulled a jacket on and my phone off the charger. "Don't wait up,"

--

Half an hour turned into two hours. I found a small lake a mile from the hotel and just sat and thought. I thought about my family, I missed them so much. I hadn't seen my Mom since Easter and she only lived a state over. I missed my brother and my dad- it was so expensive to get a plane ticket over to England I hadn't seen them for four years at least.

I thought about Mick and Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean had become like my family even though I never saw them often each time I did catch them it was like I'd never gone. And Mick? Well, that was a completely different kettle of fish. I liked the Brit a lot, but I also hated him. Everything about him made me want to slap him then kiss him. I hated it. I didn't know what to do with myself, I wanted to run away. I could steal a car, change my name and never look back. I couldn't like him, I couldn't fall for him. He was the enemy and one day I knew it would turn tits up but at the same time, I really didn't care. I wanted him!

I frowned at myself, stupid feelings were getting the better of me. No, I was a hunter there was no time for that. I had to do my job, saving people and hunting things. I couldn't just back out because of some guy- because I was scared. I've faced demons and vampires and freaking angels for god's sake, one human can't stop me.

I decided in that moment to go back. I would finish this hunt, have a nice time with Sam and Dean and move on. I'd go find a new case and show those stupid British ass-hats what we American hunters are made of.

When I got back to the motel the room was dark except for a lamp glowing in the corner. Mick was sat, slumped one of the beds, with his laptop open on his lap and an empty glass next to him. I crept in, quietly placing my coat on the back of the door and my phone back on charge.

"Mick?" I spoke softly so not to wake him up if he was asleep. He wasn't and opened his eyes then sat up slightly. His eyes were watering, the light from the lamp making them glisten, and he looked upset. I sighed and walked into the room, sitting down at the side of his bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um of course," Mick wiped his eyes with his sleeve and ran his hands over his stubble, "Are you alright now?"

"You can cut the act Mick," I laughed quietly to myself and shook my head. Mick looked confused, "I've lived with the Winchesters long enough to know when someone's upset about something and hiding," Mick frowned and looked away, "Mick? Please, I can help,"

"I don't think you can," He sighed.

"I can try," I said softly. I was now sat a lot closer to him, and I carefully placed my hand on his, bringing his attention back to me. "Please?"

Mick sighed and relaxed a little. He didn't say a word but he didn't really have to. He sat back and opened his arm to let me in. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and relaxed. I wanted to move and kiss him, it was just a little move. But I couldn’t- I wouldn’t. 

There was no sound in the room. Only the quiet rustle of leaves outside and our calm breathing. The only light was from the cracked open door which provided a small amount of light. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder, smiling content for once that this was okay- everything will be okay.

The next morning I woke up in bed with Mick. For a moment I panicked thinking I'd slept with him but I quick check under the covers to see all of my clothes were intact reassured me that did not happen. Not that I would have minded if it were different…

Mick was on the phone talking quietly. From the look on his face, I could tell it was something serious. He looked over and saw I was awake, giving a polite little smile. I smiled back and raised my eyebrows asking if he was okay.

"Yes ma'am," He said, quickly looking away from me. "I-"

Whoever it was dropped the call and Mick pulled then phone from his ear, scowled at it and sighed. He rubbed a hand over his stubble, a nervous habit I had noticed, and stayed sat away from me.

"Mick? Everything alright?" I asked, curiosity taking over me. Mick looked at me, was about to speak then bit his lip and looked away. He sighed again and muttered something under his breath. "You can tell me, I won't tell,"

"You sound like such a child, you know that?" Mick snapped.

"I-I'm sorry," I stuttered, stunned and kind of hurt by his tone. "I didn't-"

"Just leave it! Leave me alone!" He shrugged my hand off and faced away from me completely. I frowned, tears pricked my eyes but I did as I was told and left him alone. I grabbed my stuff while Mick used the bathroom, purposely slamming the door hard as I went to tell him I was angry too.

I stomped down the hallway to Sam and Dean's room, knocked and Dean opened it.

"Y/n? Alright?"

"Got kicked out by his majesty," I snapped, "Want to go for breakfast? Heard that they have pancakes,"

"Uh yeah sure," Dean smiled, "So you've finished playing Downton Abbey with Mr Darcy then?"

"Wrong show there Dean, but yes. I am done. America all the way baby!"

"Glad to have you back on board sweetheart," Dean laughed, giving me a high-five.

"You guys going for breakfast?" Sam appeared behind Dean. I smiled and nodded. "Mick not coming?"

"Nah," I chucked my bag past Sam, landing haphazardly on the floor under the table in Sam and Dean's room. "Anyway, I'm starving! Pancakes, let's go!"

Breakfast was nice, relaxed. Mick didn't come down at all, and by the time we'd finished the rather extensive breakfast the hotel provided I had nearly forgotten about the whole situation. I went back to Sam and Dean's room and helped them pack up the Impala, then began my walk into town to get my car. It was still parked at the monsters house.

I was dreading this car journey. I purposely walked slower to the house hoping Dean would give up and take Mick back himself but I wasn't as lucky.

So now, Mick and I were sat quietly in my car. The only noise was coming from the radio and the air was thick with tension between us. I hadn't said a word to Mick since this morning, I barely even looked at him. I could tell he was still angry with me too so neither of us made an effort to talk.

This was a much longer trip- five hours back to British compound then another three back to the bunker. At the rate this journey was going I rather tempted to run the car into a lake and drown us both. That'd be more pleasant than this, right?

Mick kept shifting in his seat, looking over at me, trying to say something but he gave up before anything came out. I wanted to know what he wanted but at the same time, I really didn't.

"I'm sorry about this morning," Mick finally spoke up, "I was out of order and I'm sorry," I shrugged and ignored him. Yes, I was being petty but I really did not care, "Look I'm sorry okay! Can you at least say something?" Again I stayed silent, concentrating on the road in front of me. "Fine, I'm just going to keep talking even if you don't. That call earlier was from Dr Hess, she's my boss. She said that the old men weren't happy with the work I was doing, said I hadn't got very far with you hunters. They're calling me in,"

"That doesn't elicit you being so pissed at me," I snapped.

"You are the reason I've basically failed my job over here. Ever since you walked in that bloody base I can't get you out of my head! I should want to kill you, but instead…," Mick stopped and took a deep breath. Confused I pulled in on the side of the road and stopped the car.

"What are you saying?"

"I like you Y/n, a lot in fact, but I know I can't," Mick looked away, down at his hands in his lap. "You're funny, clever, and strong and I can't help myself. I only shouted at you because I was scared. If anyone found out about my feelings for you, they'd kill us both. My mission would be compromised. I can't let that happen, I really can't. You of all people know that,"

"I- um," I didn't know what to say.

"Just don't say anything. This is all my fault, I can deal with it on my own,"

"Mick…"

"No. Don't,"

"Mick I want to help! I can help! I'm not some ordinary person. I've dealt with you before and I've dealt with people much worse than you. I want to help,"

"The only way you can help is if you stay away! Stay well away from this, from the men of letters, from me,"

"I'm not going to do that,"

"They will kill you,"

"They're going to at some point anyway I'm sure. Why can't it be now?"

"You don't understand," Mick sighed

"Then leave, quit. We both know that you don't really believe in that damn code anymore. You can join the Winchesters and me, take them down and we'd never have to worry about it. Everything would be okay,"

Mick shrugged and turned away from me, looking out the window. I took this as a sign that the conversation was over. I turned the key and drove off again. Within half an hour we met up with Sam and Dean just outside the base. I was leaving my car here, putting a dash cam in the grill so we could keep an eye on what was going on there. Mick got out without saying a word, just giving me a small smile and a quick nod to the boys then he walked away.

"Alright kiddo?" Dean asked as I walked over. I shrugged and slipped into the back of the Impala. Sam and Dean stayed outside for a few more minutes, watching Mick leave and checking the camera was working. I sat in the car and waited, smiling as I looked around the car and saw that everything was so perfectly Winchester. From the cassettes to the flannel shirt that had slipped under the front seat. So very Winchester. Sam and Dean came back a few minutes later and away we went back home.

--

I didn't mean to fall asleep but I suppose I was more worn out than I thought I was. Lack of practice. I woke up and sat up and looked around to see where we were. Unfortunately, the miles and miles of scrub land was not very helpful to my whereabouts at least Sam and Dean were there.

"Mornin' sweetheart," Dean said, quickly looking back at me. Sam was asleep, his head leaning against the window.

"Morning," I smiled, "How long was I out?"

"About an hour and your phone went off earlier by the way. Love the ring tone- Crazy Frog! Keeping relevant there," Dean teased. I laughed and stuck my tongue out at him in the rearview mirror.

"At least I'm original Winchester," I laughed.

I pulled my phone out from my coat pocket, unlocked it and read the text.

From: Mick  Sent: 7:00pm

I'm sorry about this morning…

From: Mick  Sent 7:02pm

Stay safe.

"Oh shit,"

"What?" Dean asked, looking back at me in the rearview mirror, I didn't reply. "Y/n?"

Still, I didn't reply, quickly tying a reply trying to work out what the hell he was doing. Stay safe? When did Mick ever care about my safety? Then, I remembered everything he'd said this morning, the phone call last night, and my confusions turned to dread.

To: Mick Sent: 7:32 pm         

Mick what do you mean?

To: Mick  Sent 7:33 pm         

Mick you can't do this, not yet!!!

To Mick Sent 7:33 pm         

Mick!!! Reply!!

"Dean we need to get back to the base!"

"What? No, Y/n we just-"

"Just drive damn it! He's going to something stupid!" I exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, groggily as he woke up.

"Mick! He's gonna do something stupid we need to go back and stop him. Now!"

"What do you mean stupid?"

"Just drive!"

Sam nodded to Dean and quickly he whipped the Impala around and we sped off in the other direction to the British Men of Letter base.

Within the hour we were there. My heart dropped when I saw Mick's Bentley along with two other cars: a Jaguar and a Bentley. I had a horrible feeling that whoever it was not good.

The guard at the gate let us in, recognising the Impala and Dean's grumpy attitude. I didn't even wait for Dean to shut off the engine to get out. I reached towards to building, Sam and Dean following quickly behind me. I loaded my gun and ran through the base, quickly typing in the door code wherever needed. I could hear two voices. One male- Mick and a woman. British too so I assumed she was men of letters.

This place was a damn maze! I was forever running into locked doors and dead end corridors. Eventually, I found the doors to the main control room, my heart was racing as I heard the voices get louder. I punched in the code and suddenly a gun fired inside. From that moment everything seemed to go in slow motion.

The shot resonated through the bunker as I shoved open the doors. I watched with her as Mick collapsed forward, blood pouring from his head.

"No!" I couldn't stop the pained scream escaping as I collapsed to the floor in floods of tears. The woman sneered at me; an almost accomplished look on her face.

Ketch stood silently at the door and the woman smiled, contented that her problem had been solved- although a new one had arisen, the woman walked out of the room, her heels clicking against the metal but once she was gone everything was silent apart from my quiet sobbing.

"I suggest you leave," Ketch spoke, speaking slowly and carefully.

I looked up from my hands and stared at him in disbelief then shook my head. "How could you… How could you!"

"Orders-"

"He was your friend! He was my friend! I loved him!" My voice cracked as I shouted. "How could you?"

Sam and Dean were now behind me. Each brother took one arm and helped me up. I was barely aware of what was happening, I was just overwhelmed by emotion. Grief, anger, confusion and pain.

I loved him, but I never told him and now I never would. All I knew was… someone's going to pay.

TAGGED: @bcr36 @bethanystan @lindsaylove1226 @mybittersweetbullshituniverse @faith-in-dean @wayward-mirage

[zmediaoutlet]

my good buddy @thebratfarrar​ asked for, and I quote: ”kashmir", 4 and 7 (and 9, although I can't bring myself to pick a particular scene; something from the back half of the fic, I guess) -- the wording of which makes me laugh, from these ‘expanded universe’ questions for fic writers. So, for Kashmir:

4. What will things be like for the characters 1 year after the main events?

Well, Brat, as you know there is a sequel in the works (she said, in the works, laughing hollowly), which will cover the period from immediately-post Bobby’s death to right around The Born-Again Identity. That’s a period of four months or so. Knowing as I do that I always try to stick close to canon unless there’s a good reason not to, Dean will probably still end up in Purgatory as a result of taking on Dick (snort). So, one year from the end of Kashmir: Dean would be about eight months into Purgatory with Castiel and Benny, missing Sam even more fiercely than before. Sam, though--oh god, poor Sam. Weirdly, the biggest difference in this AU, the one that ripples forward into the future, is not so much the altered cage experience that led to them sleeping together in the first place--it’s that, during The Rain Song, I kept Rufus alive. Let’s imagine Sam stumbling shocked out of the SucraCorp offices, a spatter of black blood on his face, and no clue what to do next--but even though Cas is gone and Crowley is gone and Dean--god--he does have one ally left. So he calls Rufus, and Rufus may not be nice but he knows a mortal wound when he hears it. Sam goes to him and they try to come up with ways to get Dean out, and of course those ways don’t work, but it gives Sam a slightly better sense of purpose. He won’t be driving aimlessly, half-blind with grief. He won’t hit a dog. (And then--when Dean comes back--)

7. What is the (unshared) opinion of one of the non-main characters re: the events of the fic?

Let’s go with Bobby talking to Sam in the scene where they’re doing surveillance outside the Biggerson’s warehouse, while Dean is sleeping off the effects of the evil turducken. (Don’t you love this show?) Bobby basically has the same dialogue he did in the show--who’s left to live their own life, here? But there’s also this:

"He's been doing this a long time, Sam," Bobby says, eventually.

"I know," Sam says. He glances into the back, at the curled-up shape in the dim. "That's kind of my point."

Bobby's giving him one of those long, assessing looks. He turns back to the empty parking lot in front of them to avoid it. "You know, he kept you together for six months," Bobby says. "Don't know if you remember how, because he didn't tell me much. Wouldn't hear of doing anything different, though, wouldn't tell you for anything."

That ‘long, assessing look’ is interesting. Dean was pretty touchy-feely with Sam, in The Rain Song, and Bobby watched that with reserve, too. I don’t think he suspects incest--because whose mind jumps immediately to incest?--but I think he’s gone beyond the kind of mild concern that they’re too co-dep into actual uneasiness, at times. He loves them, but he actively tries to intervene sometimes. It’s interesting. You’ve got to wonder how he possibly thinks he could ever change what they are.

9. What is a non-PoV character thinking in a certain scene?

Since you didn’t pick, and obviously it has to be Dean, let’s go with this, from when Sam is trying to talk to Dean during the turducken high:

"I don't want you to leave," he says, voice quiet.

Sam swallows. "Good." He waits a few seconds. "What about—the other thing?"

"The other—? Oh." Dean drags the back of his hand over his mouth, weirdly childlike in the context of this conversation, enough so that Sam feels a flush rising under his skin. "I dunno. I mean, the sex is good, you—you know what you're doing, huh, Sammy?" he says, with a little weak smile. "But I don't—um. I don't know, I—"

Gah. Stumbly stoned trains of thought. Here we have one of the key moments that leads to the primary conflict in the theoretically-coming sequel, The Wanton Song. Dean insisted to himself that he was only sleeping with Sam to shore up the wall. The fact that he’s now done so outside of those constraints is--complicated, for him, to put it lightly. He’s able to admit to himself that he enjoyed it, at least like this, and yet--and it’s a big yet. Kind of the whole point of this fic and the sequel is that stumbling into incestuous sex with your brother should be difficult, and--specifically--that most straight guys don’t just shrug and say, “Welp, I guess I like dick now!” I guess this is being written as a very slow counterpoint to all of the wincest fics where it is easy, because--damn it, it should not be easy. So, here, Dean’s stripped-bare enough by the chemical high to tell Sam directly that the sex was good, but he’s also stripped-bare enough that he’s revealing his very serious reservations about the whole thing. What would it mean, for him to say he wanted it? What would it mean to say outright that maybe he does want it to keep going? What would it say about him as a brother--and about the man he always thought he was? Of course, he’s not thinking those things terribly clearly--most of his thoughts are a muddle of affection for Sam, darkened by a vague lust which is tempered by fear. Poor thing. Probably I should write the sequel where he figures it out, shouldn’t I.

[awed-frog]

Hi! I've just read your meta masterlist written for someone who wanted to convince their friends that deancas is real. First of all - thank you, what a treat to have it all in one place. The best Matrix red pill of them all. Second of all - "the entire S8, which was basically a demented Jane Eyre AU" - could you elaborate on that? I'm mighty interested.

Hi! Thanks for that - uhm - it’s missing a lot of stuff, though. I’m sure there are better masterposts out there, and I actually looked for them, but all I could find was fanfiction stuff.

As for the Jane Eyre thing - I should say I’m a fan of the Brontë sisters, so it wasn’t supposed to be an insult or anything, but it’s hard to deny that those kind of novels (particularly Wuthering Heights) are over the top and überdramatic and there’s almost an unhealthy focus on love and falling in love and what happens if you lose that and how your life can never be complete without that one person who means everything, and if that person is your foaming-at-the-mouth insane half-brother, so be it. And the thing is, Supernatural seasons often hinge around powerful and borderline soap-operish themes (the whole ‘almost orphans desperately looking for their father while killing things’ was very Dickens, in a way - if Dickens had been high on opium and cocaine and stuff, that is), but S8 really went above and beyond. I mean, even without the big love story for the fucking ages supporting the entire narrative arc, it was full of OMG and oh no! moments - 

Sam is all alone in the world and may have found love but oh no! his brother’s back from the dead and super pissed and oh no! the woman he probably loves is actually not a widow and OMG what next?

Hunter Dean found himself a new best friend but oh no! he’s a vampire drawn to human blood but OMG he’s promised to abstain forever and fight his own instincts every day for eternity but oh no! what happens if he can’t?

There is a way to banish all demons from the Earth but oh no! it’s a magic spell that requires a human sacrifice and oh no! Sam actually wants to do that and is it guilt or depression or martyrdom or OMG is he simply that heroic??!?

- so much Gothic extravaganza, the list could go on and on. But, as I said, at the heart of it all are Dean and Cas, and what’s going on with them is so sappy and romantic even Charlotte Brontê would have edited some stuff out.

Like, I don’t even know where to start. 

At the beginning of the season, Dean is precipitated in a world of darkness and monsters. He fights his way out for an entire year, and during that time he prays to Cas every night - Dean, who normally doesn’t pray at all. We know he’s tortured and desperate, because part of him believes Cas is dead (because Cas always comes when Dean calls, right?) and all of him knows it’s his own fault, because he forced Cas to fight even if Cas wasn’t in his right mind and Jesus, ALL the regrets and ALL the guilt. Then he finally finds Cas, who first refuses his manly and chaste affection and then pushes Dean to safety and chooses to die in that hellhole. This is so incredibly traumatic that Dean erases that entire memory as he makes his way into the real world (and, remember, we’re talking about Dean ‘I remember what was done to me in Hell’ Winchester here - I guess losing Cas was more painful than that?), which is just as lonely and brutal and hostile as the one he left behind (cue all the drama about Sam and Benny and Crowley killing everyone he can get his hands on). As he fights on, Dean starts to see Cas’ ghost everywhere, which is, like, standard behaviour for a Romantic hero or heroine but also legit what happens to you when your brain suffers such a heavy loss it can’t cope (if you’re not reading this alone at night, I recommend you check out this article about Japanese cab drivers picking up ghost passengers after the tsunami, and this BBC radio program explaining why it happens). This is obviously distressing for Dean, but then, as he’s fast approaching his breaking point, Cas actually shows up in person - he cannot explain how he found Dean, since Dean still has the anti-angel tattoo on his ribs, but wait - we know Cas can sense longing, right? so that’s why and if that isn’t the most tragic, romantic thing you’ve ever heard, get out. But there’s worse to come. Before that, though, we’re treated to a brief comedic interlude featuring the sappiest love trope ever - ‘all grown up’ - as Cas retires to the bathroom (and why) to clean up and reappears all handsome and clean-shaven, causing Dean an erection and much embarrassment.

(I still can’t believe that is a thing that actually happened, by the way.) 

Next, of course, there’s the whole ‘Cas has been trained and programmed to kill Dean against his will and beats him up in a darkened crypt and nothing can happen now everyone is doomed doomed doomed but wait I NEED YOU and BAM, suddenly the mind control is gone and even someone with the whole of Heaven’s power behind her can’t come between Cas and Dean and Cas will never hurt Dean and what the fuck is even happening?’ episode, which, again, how was that an actual thing? Sometimes I think we were all high during that season and we had a collective hallucination or something. And next there is all the ‘You didn’t trust me? You didn’t trust me, I almost died to get you out, I would have died, I did not leave you’ drama as Dean finally remembers what happened (he doesn’t, by the way: Cas heals his brain, and those memories come back), and meanwhile in the background there’s more over the top and dramatic stuff going down - Sam being weird and volunteering to die and Benny also volunteering to die and Dean can’t save anyone and can’t do anything and now BAM, turns out Cas is also dying, or leaving forever, anyway, and there was so much unsaid stuff between them I remember fainting and melting into my couch during various episodes and thank God for smelling salts. And after all this torture and torment and ALL the love and ALL the pain, the very last episode was the worst of the worst - Dean must basically say goodbye to the only people he cares about and would do anything to spare, because both of them are dying, and it’s a sort of Sophie’s choice too because Cas is gone and Dean doesn’t have time to focus on that because SAMMY and at the end we’re left with him half supporting his brother’s weight as they look up at a sky full of falling angels (and is Cas one of them or did they kill him already and aaaaargh).

So, look - I’m even leaving out stuff, and it’s still almost unbearably sugary and tragic - it’s not like they haven’t had other weird moments between them, but this season alone is more romantic than, say, the entirety of Jane the Virgin, who’s supposed to be about romance, or even Grey’s fucking Anatomy, where, sure, you get those random episodes where a train explodes and people are stuck all over the city and you can’t save all of them and surprise! you’re probably dying yourself BUT you also get some time to breathe in between and episodes where almost no one’s fighting and people are having sex and how come they never sleep, seriously? And what I just can’t believe is that we’re the only ones to have both sides here - Dean still doesn’t know about the thousand Deans Cas was forced to kill, or about those convoluted reasons Metatron had for cutting out Cas’ Grace, specifically, and Cas doesn’t understand how close Dean came to tell him those three stupid words which would have solved and changed everything, and he doesn’t get why Dean was hurt by his choice to remain in Purgatory, and how much, and he must ignore or disregard, by now, those random spikes in Dean’s arousals, because he assumes that’s what humans do or whatever and he probably never realized he should have hugged Dean back that time on the river bank, and what it meant to Dean that he didn’t. See? Tragedy and misunderstanding and Dean being an actual Gothic heroine and Cas being all Rochester-y about things (early Rochester, I mean, the one who was determined to be a martyr and could not believe someone as smart as Jane would ever find his old ass interesting in any way).

I know we always say it, but that’s honestly how I feel all the time - I don’t know what the hell they’re thinking here, because you cannot write a story like this, you cannot insert all these tropes and bend and twist and narrative so stuff will only work with the foundation of a Great Love, and not see it. You physically cannot, especially if you’re a trained screenwriter and this is literally your job. So they do see it, and what? I don’t mind the UST and the pain and the slow-burn (much), but I still wish they would make it clear that this is indeed where they’re going, because they can’t keep writing this shit and pretending they aren’t. It’s - if someone had written S8 as a Destiel - canon divergent after S7 fic on AO3, I’m not sure I would have read it. So gay that it’s almost OOC, I would have thought, and there’s not even the comfort of some smut - it’s all angst, all the way, and come on - even this show is not that gay.

Except it is, isn’t it?

Lucky us.