#alistair x neutral reader

[wanderingsoul6261]

Believing a False Lie

Credit for gif goes to fabiolajyx

James Beaufort x Reader

Synopsis: James takes part in a nasty dare to try and get the get the nerdy and social outcast to date him. He never expected to fall in love though. When Reader hears the truth from some girls at Maxton, she wonders what is true and false, and ultimately begins to avoid James. Will the truth be told and will amends be made?

Warning: Might be some swear words. Bullying takes place. Nothing more than that. the scene with the invitation to Alistair's party is improvised. The pool scene is also improvised.

P.S I got carried away and this really long 😅 excuse any mistakes. I have a sinus headache currently stabbing my skull and I can't take anything yet because certain sinus/allergy meds can effect how well my thyroid meds work.

-----

Y/N was a quiet person. She didn't say much. She took her studies way more seriously than multiple others at Maxton Hall. Some would say that she also went above what she needed to, studying mythology and ancient civilizations. Dedicated her time to be well accustomed to not only national history, but international. If it was within her interest, it did not go unknown by her.

She didn't have many friends, but she did talk often with Ruby Bell and Lin. Y/N was a social outcast and many saw her as that. She knew it. Being quiet and on the sidelines and it was her game, in which she was playing it well. That was until a certain Beaufort stepped in.

He had been dared by Cyril, Alistair, and the others to ask her out on a date. They didn't really care how long that he dragged her along. They just wanted him to do it and then break her heart whenever he was ready.

A sick joke it was.

James was expecting that Y/N might have been smart enough not to go on a date with him, considering her nature and those that she hung out with. Ruby was pretty stubborn and didn't like many of the others that went to the school with them. So he had just about expected Y/N to be the same way.

But she wasn't. And so now the two of them had gone on a few dates, the news oh which spreading around Maxton Hall like a wildfire that was too far out of control to contain. And in the end, James was surprised. Dare he say, even shocked.

James had expected her to be just as everyone had assumed her to be. Nerdy. An outcast. But he only saw someone who was insanely smart and had more to say when you got to know her. She was herself. She didn't try to be someone she wasn't. He surprisingly enjoyed listening to her rambling of whatever topic was stuck on her mind on any given day. Y/N might not have been as beautiful as Elaine or any of the other girls within the school, but James thought that she was gorgeous, nonetheless. Her smile. Her laugh. He had become smitten with her, and every single minute he spent with her, the deeper he was digging his own grave. It was a grave he didn't want out of though.

And as the weeks drew on, his friends had consistently waited for him to dump her. In front of the entire school. But he refused to. James kept pushing and pushing it back until his friends started to tease him about actually liking her. Not that they were far from the truth.

It hurt him at first, that he never did defend her. He stayed silent, but his facial expression was neutral. Deep down he didn't like what they were saying about her. He just didn't know how to approach it. But he knew that he had fallen head over heels for her, and there was nothing he could do to stop his descent.

-----

Currently, the two sat outside the manor that Y/N called home with her parents. They rested sideways on a wooden cushioned swing, James' back against the arm of it and Y/N back against his chest. One of his arms was settled around her waist, while the other laced his fingers with her own. He watched as her other hand flew blindly throughout the air, the hand in his own sometimes joining in the fray before going back to his hand, their fingers interlocking once again.

Most people would have probably been disturbed by her insane knowledge of things that were not necessarily needed to be known. But as she sat against him, constantly having to take deep breaths as she forgot to breath during her explanation of the "The Odyssey", he could only look enamored. James watched her lips as she spoke, not really paying much attention to what was being said, a soft smile adorned his face.

"Are you listening?" James broke out of his stupor, his eyes moving from her lips to her own eyes.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"So, you weren't paying attention?" she asked.

"Oh, I was. About fifty percent of the time. I heard about Circe turning some of Odysseus' remaining men to pigs and then he technically got kidnapped, was it?" he asked, searching her face for approval. Y/N smiled, and his heart pounded. He smiled back at her. That smile was everything to him.

"Yea. She kept him for ten years. Then he was finally able to leave. Although, Poseidon still posed a threat because obviously Odysseus killed his son." And Y/N continued to ramble, and James went back to adoring her like she was the only woman on the planet. Elaine be damned. The arranged marriage wasn't anything. It wouldn't be anything. Not if he couldn't have the one currently in his arms.

James leaned his head down, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth, lingering for a few seconds, before pulling back. His gaze was met with a frozen Y/N, and a smug grin had adorned his face.

"While I know have your attention. I do apologize love, for interrupting your rambling, but Alistair is having a party in a few nights, if you'd like to attend with me."

"Oh, I don't know. My parents have that gala to host in a few nights and I don't know if they would want me around. I can talk to them though?" She suggested. Y/N eyes had widened slightly, growing nervous already at the thought of attending Alistair's party. She knew where she stood amongst the others at Maxton. James gave her a tiny nod, his thumb rubbing across her knuckles.

"Of course. Do what you have to. In the meantime, I should be going. Parents are expecting me home a bit early tonight."

Y/N nodded and stood up first, extending her hand to James as he followed. He looked down at their joined hands, before staring at her face, flashing her a smile as she looked up at him and flashed one back. Yea. He could get used to that.

On their way through the house, James politely bid her parents farewell, before the two walked out to the front where Percy waited for James. They came to a halt next to the vehicle, and as he turned to look at her, he bowed his head down to press his lips against hers. A soft lingering kiss in which she melted into.

"I will see you tomorrow. Let me know whenever you can if you can come to the party."

"Will do, pretty boy." Y/N flashed another smile. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, before turning around and climbing into the vehicle. James watched her in the window of the vehicle, all the way up until she was no longer visible. When he finally turned around in his seat, he caught Percy's gaze in the rearview mirror. James could only smile as he looked away. The two of them both knew he was head over heels for her.

"Not a word, Percy."

------

"James!" Y/N hurried her pace to catch up to James. He stopped briefly, turning around to look at her before he entered the main doors of Maxton, waiting for her.

"Good morning, Love." He grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"Good morning, handsome. Oh, I talked to my parents about the party. They would like my help for an hour or two. But after that, I'm free to go. They were surprised that I asked. In fact, I think they were excited." James looked down at her with a smirk.

"You're a goody two shoes."

"Apparently they're hoping for a rebellious stage." Y/N shrugged, smiling back up at James.

"I wasn't sure if you'd get back to me in time about it." James said. His hand settled on the back of her back, guiding the two of them through groups of students.

"Parents have been busy. I wasn't able to talk to them until I left for school this morning. Sorry it's such a late notice."

"No need to be sorry, just glad you can make it." He answered. They appeared outside of her first class for the day. James stared at her with soft smile, receiving one back.

"Have a good day, gorgeous. I'll see you tonight at the party." He mumbled against her lips, before backing away, flashing her a smile. Y/N smiled back, before walking into the classroom.

----

The time for the party came and for Y/N to say that she was anxious, was an understatement. She would be over dramatic and claim that she was fatally anxious about it, even if that was not such a thing.

Heads turned to look at her as she ventured through the house. She cowered slightly, meeting some gazes and avoiding others. Most actually didn't seem to care, while others had glowered at her. Trying to find James through the crowd proved to be just as difficult as she expected. Y/N released a quiet sigh.

Across the room, where Elain was trying to get his attention, James got a glimpse of her as she walked into the room. He wasn't trying to be cliché, but as he stared at her as the array of colors filled and rotated around the room, the world paused for several seconds. She and everything that she was, was his. He couldn't let that go. No matter the dare he had taken apart in. He couldn't go through with it. Now now. Not ever.

His mouth parted slightly, and his cheeks heated up in a blush.

Y/N was a sight to behold and he knew he couldn't part with her, damned what his friends and the rest of Maxton would think.

He pushed past many in the crowd, slowly making his way to her. James kept his eyes attached to her face, drinking her in and drowning in her appearance. As he drew closer to her, his heart hammered faster against his rib cage.

She was his.

James came to a stop behind her at the same time she unexpectedly took a step back. Y/N collided with his chest and she immediately turned around, scared to see who it might have been.

"James" She let out a sigh of relief.

"Hello, love. Finally made it, I see." A teasing glint in his eye.

"Yea. Sorry. My parents held me back a few extra moments to finish something for their gala. But I'm here now."

"That you are." The two stared at each other for several moments, smiles on their faces, before James motioned to the dance floor, and grabbed her hand as he walked past her, dragging her along with him.

The two started dancing, their bodies almost moving at one. The pop song playing decided their moves for them. The two didn't have much finesse between the two of them, but their moves had complemented each other. They stayed pretty close together, never moving more than a foot away from each other at a time. They were smiling and never broke eye contact unless needed. The two of them were enamored in that moment, enjoying the moment as it came to them.

And then the pop song gave way to a slow song, and they stood in the middle of the dance floor, breathing heavily as they gazed upon each other. As the slow song continued, James edged closer, his arms wrapping her waist, pulling her closer as she wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. The two of them swayed together for several seconds, before James used his hands to twirled her around, now holding her with her back against his chest. Y/N turned her head to look at him as he laced his fingers through hers. They swayed for several seconds, before the moment was cut short by Elain, who thought to "accidentally" dump her drink on Y/N.

Y/N let out a gasp as Elain said a fake apology, catching a glare from James.

Y/N watched as Elain walked away, a pep in her step, tossing a smug look over her shoulder before she was out of sight. Embarrassed, she frowned, turning her head to look at James.

"I'm think I'm done for the night. I should probably get home and change out." James nodded, a hand still settled on her waist.

"I left my coat somewhere. I can go grab it and me and Percy can take you home." Y/N nodded.

"I'll wait for you outside by the pool." And how that was the bad idea, for the moment she got outside and began waiting for James, Cyril caught sight of her. He advanced on her, wrapped his arms around her to help prevent a fight, and begun tugging her towards the pool.

"Cyril! No please!" She begged.

"Aawww. The nerd doesn't know how to swim, does she?" James came back outside just as Cyril got to the edge of the pool with her, catching sight of the moment.

"Cyril! No!" But before James could act further, Y/N was in the pool. She didn't resurface, and others around them just watched. It was Jame's turn to start to panic.

James ran towards the edge of the pool, before diving in. Upon submerging, he could see Y/N panicking. She reached out a hand for him to grasp onto as he swam towards her, and within seconds, they resurfaced. Besides being already wet, steady tears rolled down Y/N's face as she continued to panic. James hushed her.

"It's okay. Breathe. Just breath. I got you."

And as he trudged out of the water with her, he sent a scowling glare towards Cyril, walking away from the party and towards the car.

On the car ride home, his hand settled on her thigh, her fingers finding homage in his hand, before explaining the story of her brother, who was killed in a boating accident years before she started to attend Maxton.

------

Y/N had though things were good and normal, especially between her and James. They were happy. They made each other happy. So when she walked by what she presumed to be an empty classroom and heard voices, she stopped momentarily.

And she wished that she didn't, for the voices were going on about the dare James had taken part in, trying to date her and how he hadn't broken up with her yet.

Her world shattered. Y/N stood in the hallway for several minutes, tears rolling down her face as she thought back to the last few weeks and how happy she was. Not only that, but how happy she was James and how much she thought he had been happy.

Was it a lie? Was everything he felt for her a lie? Was there any truth to any of it.

Y/N refused to go to school the second half of the week. She couldn't confront James, as she wasn't sure how to go about it, but he knew something was wrong. That much was evident from the numerous phone calls and texts messages gone unanswered. Even then, she could tell he was panicking. But she let him bask in it.

Other than her parents, who supported whatever she wanted to do in that moment, Ruby and Lin were the only ones who knew. And they had made it quite clear to James where he stood, and that although he was already an asshole, pretending to love someone was a dick move.

And that's how he found out.

James' heart had dropped into his stomach, wondering how she might have found out. He had texted the guys lately about it. He hadn't even talked to them in person about it for quite some time, although he did get subtle comments made when he and Y/N were seen together. So he had deduced that the only way she could have heard about it, was by overhearing about it from someone else. But in the end, it didn't matter hoe she found out. All that mattered was that he fucked up, and there was no telling if he'd be able to fix it. The thought of that alone sent his heart twisting into knots.

James had continuously tried and tried to reach out to Y/N. She hadn't blocked him, as his texts and calls still went through. He had almost thought she answered one call, but then had changed her mind and ended it before anything could be said.

His world was shattering around him, and he had no one else but himself to blame. James became distracted. Had even turned a bit bitter toward his friends. It wasn't their fault, he should have came clean to her. It still would have caused issues, but then they had more of a chance of being fixed than now.

To say he was scared was an understatement.

James Mortimer Beaufort was completely and utterly, terrified.

James was trying everything in his power to fix things. He sent letters to her humble abode. Voice messages left in her inbox on her voice were amongst these, and he was surprised when never he reached the limit.

What he didn't know was that if there was anything Y/N listened to during that week, it was those. She listened to his apologies as she laid in bed, her breakfast forgotten beside her and tears becoming a river on her cheeks.

She had several questions, still unanswered. All of his attempts to get back with her, even if she never called anything off in the first place, made her wonder if he truly did care. But if he did, why was he a part of the dare in the first place. Why didn't he come clean? Most importantly. Why was she such an idiot?

And when she finally went back to school?

She avoided him like the bubonic plague.

He tried many attempts to get her to stop and listen to him. Most times he was left alone as she avoided him. She would pull her wrist out of his grasp and carry on, as if he wasn't even there. Sometimes though, he hoped that she would listen, as she would stop, turn to look at him, and wait several seconds as tears began to swell in her eyes. Then she'd walk away, only leaving James to wish he had spoken a bit quicker.

And every time he saw her back disappear around the corner, he felt as if he was slowly losing her.

And as the Young Beaufort line was beginning to become a reality, he had less and less time to fight for her. Even without that, he knew he was running out of time, and James couldn't let that happen.

-----

"Is he still trying to talk to you?" Ruby's voice sounded from the speaker of Y/N's phone. She sat on her bed, picking at her nails, a book lying forgotten next to her.

"Yea, he is."

"Didn't you end things?" Ruby asked, and as Y/N sat there and thought about it. She realized that she technically didn't. Did she want to? Did he do it already? It didn't seem likely as he was still talking to her, but maybe it was still part of the ruse.

"Not technically. No." It was silent for several seconds and Y/N wondered if the phone call ended.

"You're serious?"

"Yup."

"Y/N-"

"Don't." She started. Y/N had already gotten enough shit from other students since being back. The bullying had heightened tenfold.

She had an interaction with two girls within the event committee. Y/N didn't care to know their names because she didn't like them anyways. But they had both dumped their drinks on her clothes, prompting her to leave classes early today.

And what made it worse, as she walked away from the situation? She locked her teary eyes with James. He glowered at the girls who had consistently belittled and bullied Y/N throughout the week. James had opted to give Y/N space, but this time, he couldn't.

He had followed Y/N out of the room and quickly caught up to her. He tried to initiate contact, but she could only turn around and shove him away, crying and screaming at him to leave her alone.

"I don't know what to believe." Y/N finally spoke again to Ruby, who continued to listen on her side of the call. "He's doing everything to fix things, but I don't know if it's apart of a ruse to further the rewards of the dare." She explained, her voice cracking slightly.

"Does he sound genuine?"

Y/N thought to herself for several moments.

"That's the confusing part. He sounds completely geuine."

------

And finally, it was the night of the Victorian donor gala. Y/N had stuck close to Ruby and Lin. She had stayed quiet, slowly drinking her champagne as she conversed with a few students and professors.

She would watch the couples down below slow dancing to songs, and her heart ached because even after everything, she had wished her and James were down there.

"Stop thinking about it." Ruby came up beside her. "Be free tonight." Y/N listened as Ruby talked to her, distracting her. Until it wasn't Ruby distracting her, but a certain someone else. Y/N stared past Ruby down to the ground floor, where she could see James looking around. What he was looking for, she wasn't quite sure. That was, until James looked up, caught her gaze, and held it. His facial expression softened as he looked at her, and that was when Y/N knew who he was here for her.

Her.

Ruby saw that she was distracted and turned to see what she was looking at. She looked down at James. James eyes never left Y/N though. Ruby finally turned back to Y/N eith a heavy sigh.

"I think it's finally time you go talk to him." The comment broke Y/N out of her stupor, in which she didn't hesitate much as she slowly started her descent down the stairs.

It felt like forever before she finally ended up front of James.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"I came to apologize."

"What about the Young Beaufort line?" James was surprised that she cared enough to ask about it.

"It doesn't matter in this moment."

"Then if not that, then what does?" She asked.

"You." James barely let Y/N finished asking the question before he responded. Y/N stared at him for several seconds, tears swelling up in her eyes.

"Why?" She finally asked.

"Truth?" He asked. Y/N nodded. All she wanted was the truth.

"I didn't expect to fall in love with you." James explained.

"And how am I expected to believe you?"

"You don't have to. Just, please, let me explain myself. And then afterward, if you want nothing to do with me, then I'll leave you alone. I promise." Y/N pondered what he said, before she finally nodded.

A slow song started to play, and the two looked at each other.

"May I?" He asked. "If this is the last time we are to do anything together, I'd like one last dance." Y/N's heart swelled, although she hated to admit with the circumstance. She took a few steps closer him, allowing it be his cue. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she wrapped her around his neck. The two started to slow dance.

"I don't know where to begin."

"From the beginning." He nodded, in agreement.

"Okay. So, it was a dare." He confirmed. "Cyril, Alistair and the others dared me that I couldn't get you to go on a date with me. I was honestly surprised that you did."

"I don't see the bad in people. You're a good person, James, and that's what I saw. I saw your caring personality beneath everything else and I fell in love with it." James stared at her as she spoke.

"Right." He cleared his throat. "Well, I honestly didn't expect to fall in love with you."

"Genuinely?"

"Genuinely." He confirmed.

"Then why didn't you say something sooner? This could have been avoided." He nodded, agreeing.

"I know. I was just scared. I wasn't sure how you would react, so I went on, hoping you wouldn't find out because I didn't want to risk the potential of losing you."

"But you might lose me know." He heart fell. Was this it? James swallowed thickly before looking at the floor in between their feet as they continued to slowly dance. "Hey."

James looked back up at her and in his expression, she could see that he was terrified.

"I never did technically end the relationship." She gave him a small smile. "Sure, things will need to be worked on and trust reinstated, but I'm willing to work through-" James didn't let her finish what she was saying, enveloping her lips into a searing kiss, in which it only took her seconds to melt into it.

------

Tag list:

@honethatty12 @lifeonawhim @ashamedtobewhitemanswhore27 @maryvibess @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @imasimptoowth @sillyfreakfanparty

[frantic-fiction]

Happy Birthday

(Gif: Alistairs)

Prompt: The gang throwing Spawn Astarion and Redeemed Durge a joint birthday party 😭

Credit to @bauldersgrave69 for letting me use their idea. Hopefully, you like it.

Astarion x F!Reader (Mostly Gender neutral but reader does wear a dress)

Warning: None. No spoilers just durge's memory lost and violent tendencies. This is pretty much pure fluff.

Word Count: 3.1k

It's been almost a year since you found yourself aboard a mindflayer ship, forcibly shoved into an adventure - one with life-changing choices. Choices that left you with a family not bonded through blood and torture, but one of trust, acceptance, and a chance to change something in yourself that you didn't fully comprehend when you woke up in that pod.

And the most important piece of the puzzle is currently walking next to you. As close as appropriate in public, moving away from the waterfront, Astarion would occasionally drop kisses on any exposed skin he could reach. But for the most part, he was content to hold your hand in his, just happy to be with the love of his life.

It was your date night. After the chaos had died down, you and Astarion had established this weekly tradition. Neither of your previous lives before the tadpoles allowed for much personal exploration or relaxation. The dates aimed to help take back both the agencies that had been torn away violently by cruel masters.

It was Astarion's week to choose the activity. He decided to push his boundaries just a bit and go dancing - not the stifling ballroom dances Cazador demanded be performed during various public events. No, Astarion wanted liveliness, drinks, and a wonderful band.

So, he bought a lovely pale yellow sundress from a stall by your apartment and added his personal style, ending with a beautiful garment - swirls and intricate patterns embroidered as accents. Donning himself in a dashing doublet, dark greys, and black accented with a similar shade of yellow.

The blushing mermaid was brilliant, the band jovial with pounding drums, and excellent lute and violin playing. Drinks were shared until heads were fuzzy. It took a bit for Astarion to work up the courage to dance, but he quickly offered his hand. The moment it was offered, your drink was down, and with a flushed face and a smile, you took his hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

The rest of the night was spent spinning and dipping until you were dizzy. You had never really danced, and if you had, that memory was lost and not worth finding. At times, you would stumble into a spin or out of a dip, but Astarion was always there to make sure you stayed on your toes with a firm hold.

When the energy of the night waned down and the band began to play a slower tempo, Astarion didn't hesitate to pull you flush against his body. His coolness was a pleasant contrast to the stuffiness of the mostly crowded tavern.

Astarion bent down to kiss you below your ear, whispering, "I don't think I will ever run out of thank yous."

"For dancing with a handsome man, I can say it was tiring but I'm having fun." The word is still a foreign concept, but one you and Astarion have become incredibly good at together.

"Yes, this night has been the best dancing I've done in years." You card your hand through his curls; his hand trails the curve of your spine. "But my thanks go beyond tonight, with you, my love. I have felt - you see I..."

Words seem not to be able to grasp what Astarion wants to say. So, he simply smiles and captures your lips in a kiss. Not everything needs words to express.

****

"My sweet, I believe we forgot dear Evelyn's oranges."

You had just entered the neighborhood where your house resided. It wasn't anything big; neither you nor Astarion liked the idea of a big space with rooms that would stay empty and cold.  

Thankfully, you came across Miss Evelyn, a sweet elderly gnome who owned a multifamily home. Her son had sadly died when the Absolute took Baldur's Gate. His wife and child went back to her parents, leaving Evelyn with a lot more space than she needed.

Astarion and you rented the upper portion of the home. The rent was cheap and you wish to pay more, and when you tried to explain just how much wealth you could spare, Evelyn shut it down immediately. She said that her price was fair and all she needed to make it for herself.

There was no room to argue after that, so you and Astarion took it upon yourselves to help her in any way she would allow - like getting oranges.

"I'll run out early before she wakes. Eve won't even notice."

"If you try to throw me on the chopping block again, I will not be making any cookies for a month."

"You would never!" You gasped, clutching your chest in dramatics.

"Don't tempt me, darling; I can be very stubborn." He said this, holding the gate to the property for you.

"Star, you know how her disappointed look makes me feel," the gravel crunched under your feet, the porch light to the house breaking through the dark.

"Yes, well, you'll just have to hope she made her bedtime." He kissed your cheek smugly and walked ahead, taking the stairs two at a time.

His shoes hit the wood boards of the porch when you heard, "Oh good evening Evelyn dear, I do have to apologize; my love completely forgot to get you oranges. By the time I realized their mistake, the vendor was already gone for the evening."

Handsome fucking asshole. Hands bunched up the skirt as you followed up the steps. He is going to have quite the time having any post-date fun with the way he's playing.

Making it to his side, Evelyn's in her chair, a basket of walnuts beside her. She didn't say anything for a moment, leaving only the crickets. Grabbing a walnut, she placed it on the table and slammed a hammer you did not see, cracking the shell before popping the flesh into her mouth.

"I figured, you two never get the things I want when it's your date night. Whatever, just get them tomorrow; your visitors gave me these walnuts so I'm not too bothered." The words were jumbled between almost toothless gums and walnut bits. A few pieces flew outwards with trails of spittle.

"Visitors?"

"Yeah, that little ragtag group you got. The bald one gave them to me. Told me something about 'Boo' thinking it would be polite since I let them break in and all."

Astarion and you met eyes, confusion reflecting each other's. Why was Minsc here?

"Did you plan something?" You asked.

"No," Astarion quickly turned to Evelyn, " I hope our little friends haven't been too much of a bother. Have a wonderful evening, my dear. Your oranges will be in your fruit bowl come morning."

He grabbed your hand and made for the stairs to your floor. Evelyn simply grumbled "They better be, pointy," before slamming the hammer down again.

You started to pull Astarion faster up the remaining stairs. But as soon as you reached for the door, Astarion halted you with an arm snaking around your middle. His mouth captured yours in a kiss, fast and heavy before you could even speak.

You melted. It's automatic, instinctual. You sigh carding you finger in his hair tugging on the roots. The orange incident quickly forgotten and the heavy annoyances with it. Not even the question of why your friends have broken into your home during date night mattered. His lips were gone too soon.

"I don't know about you, my sweet, but I believe our little weirdos have been very rude to us." He breathed into your ear before giving it a nibble. You nodded slightly, pulling his face to your neck. The he scrapes his fangs against you throat and you gasped

"I think they should have learned by now that I like to keep you to myself at night. And on our lovely date night, where you have been teasing me all night with this garment."

He pressed your back roughly against the door. The hinges whined against the force. You kiss him again, feeling his leg press between your legs. "And how am I to know that I shouldn't be ravishing you right here against this door."

"OKAY, OKAY. WE GET IT, ARESHOLE. DON'T INTERRUPT DATE NIGHT," Gale yelled.

"Maybe the next time we think about doing something nice for you two shits, I'll remember to bring earplugs," Wyll followed.

Astarion stepped you both back fully on your feet. "Maybe this time they will finally learn." Placing one last soft kiss on you cheek, he fully pulled away and moved to open the door.

You couldn't say what you had expected to see walking into your home. But this was not it.

Bright colors of balloons cluttering the floors, strings of paper tossed haphazardly around your living room. Your dining table is scatered with wrapped gifts and a frosted cake.

Each of your companions stood, all staring at Astarion and you, a mixture of disgust, excitement, and boredom (though that was mainly Lae'zel, who stood brooding in the farthest corner with a purple cone on her head). Oddly, they all had pointy hats tied to their heads. Even little Boo.

Scratch, who with all the excitement of seeing all of his friends back at his home, had begun to use his as a chew toy. Minsc pleaded with him to stop and seemed to be having a three-way conversation between the dog, Boo, and himself.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Karlach screamed as if the words had been burning in her mouth for hours. This had each and every one of your companions repeating the same phrase.

The shocked and confused looks Astarion and you shared must be very evident because Wyll was quick to jump in. “You both shared with us not knowing when your birthday was, so we’ve all decided what better time to celebrate than the start of our journey.”

This had Astarion's hand tightening in yours, his posture stiffening. Your heart hammered against your ribs, tears brimming over, trickling down flushed cheeks.

You don’t deserve this. The little voice echoes, the same voice that chokes you at night when you lay crying in Astarion's arms as he helps you calm from a panic attack. These people. This beautiful, caring family you stumbled upon was too good for such a broken, tainted person like you. To even think about this, planning a party with cake and presents simply to celebrate you and Astarion just living another year.

Him you understand; you had already been silently planning something similar for him for months. But it’s Astarion. The man who saved you, the one who reminds you each day that you are loved and safe and no longer the puppet of a cruel god. Yes, Astarion deserves to be celebrated and showered with gifts and affection. But you? The same person whose hands are stained so red with blood you still can’t comprehend the full extent of your depravity. No, you don’t think so.

"Well," Astarion’s voice cracks, and he takes a shaky breath, clearing his voice. "I guess being the center of attention for the night should make up for postponing my plan to bend my beloved over the cou-"

This snaps you out of your self-deprecation. You clamp your hand over his mouth loudly saying, "Thank you guys; this is… well, this is just perfect."

You rip your hand away when you feel the wet glide of Astarion's tongue and the scratch of a fang. "Seriously," you groan, wiping your hand off on his chest before stepping away and walking up to give out your first of many hugs.

****

"You cheated, you fucking bastard!" Astarion points accusingly over the coffee table, glaring at Gale. "I can sense a spell; you're not as clever as you think, wizard!"

You rub his arms, silently telling him to chill but shooting a glare of your own at the man. "Not to mention Karlach is not a very good actor," you say bluntly, causing the tiefling to scoff in offense. "You know I love you, Kar, but you have never been a good liar. Gale, if you won't play by the rules, I won't be responsible if Star gets violent."

Getting up from the couch, you peck Astarion's cheek and collect the pile of dessert plates. Astarion stands to start his turn of charades, beginning to mime out his word as Gale, Wyll, Karlach, and even Lae'zel tries to guess. Though Lae'zel only seemed to guess various ways to harm an enemy.

Minsc has himself in a deep talk with Boo. The two sat close to the bay window where Halsin and Jaheria had found themselves in a game of chess. By the looks of it, Halsin was winning, and Jahiera was none too happy.

Placing the dishes in the sink, you quickly wash the cake crumbs and frosting off. You carelessly toss each on the drying rack, Astarion always hated when you did dishes always complaining of the many chips you keep putting in the ceramics. 

Once done, you walked up to Shadowheart where she was dividing the small pile of presents into two.

"Thank you," you said softly, catching the half-elf's attention. It had come to light that Shadowheart had been the one to bring the idea up. "This has been more than I ever expected."

"We're family," was all she said. And you guessed it was all that needed to be. Just a simple act of love for two people in a large, slightly dysfunctional family. You move automatically, practically tackling Shadowheart into a hug.

"This means more to Astarion and me than we'll ever be able to express." The two of you don't mention the hoarseness in your voice. And if Shadowheart felt a few tears drop on her collar, she doesn't say.

She simply hugs you back just as tight. Once you break away, Shadowheart calls for everyone to gather for presents.

It's a novel concept to open gifts while everyone stares on, waiting for expressions of happiness and thanks. It's awkward, and both Astarion and yourself share the feeling of being out in the deep end. But it's kind of fun.

You open boxes to find books and painting supplies (a hobby you picked up after you saved that rather stuck-up painter from the Zhentarim last year.) But the best is a medium-sized portrait of the party together, something you've been begging everyone for months to do. It's beautiful, and you are already thinking of the perfect location to hang it up.

Astarion receives new embroidery supplies, a shiny new dagger, and a small box. It's black velvet, and when he opens the hinged lid, a plain-looking copper band sits in the middle of a makeshift pillow.

Never one to hold his tongue, Astarion cheekily says, "Oh how quaint, look at this darling; doesn't it look just like the magic ring the tiefling boy tricked you with."

You shoulder him, and he laughs. "Actually, it's a bit more magical than that little trinket; we went to a lot of trouble for that thing, so hush," Jahiera scolds.

"Oh then please regale us with the story of this mysterious gift," Astarion smirks.

"They call it the Sunwalker's gift. It's a rare magical artifact that protects a person from light sensitivity," Shadowheart says.

It doesn't process for Astarion right away, but your breath instantly catches. You freeze in shock; how in the hells did they find this? You thought it was just a legend.

"Gale got a lead, and long story short, it's real, it's here. Fangs, you can walk in the sun mate." Karlach smiles bouncing on her feet, her flames flickering a bit brighter in her excitement.

"However, it's not perfect. You can still succumb to some effects of your hypersensitivity. But the ring should allow at least a solid 8 hours of sun exposure." Halsin quickly adds.

Astarion doesn't take his eyes off the ring. His pointer finger smooths over the tarnished band. He swallows dryly, blinking back tears as quick as they come. "This… this" he's lost for words, and no one rushes him. They all know. "Thank you, will you excuse me?"

He's gone before anyone can react. There is no judgment; everyone knows strong emotions are not something Astarion can process anywhere but alone or with just you.

"This is amazing. I'm pissed you didn't let me in on this surprise, but from both Astarion and I, thank you all." You motion for a hug and they all pile in. 

Astarion doesn't return, but no one expects him to. The party wraps up quickly after that; everyone says their goodnight and departs into the night. You lock up the house and retreat to the bedroom. He sits by the window, staring out into the silent city. He's shirtless, his pale skin ethereal in the moonlight. The ring dances across his knuckles absentmindedly, his chin in his other hand.

You make your footsteps purposefully loud as you approach the vampire. Your hands snake themselves around him, caressing his smooth skin of the chest. He catches the ring and turns his face to meet your eyes. You push some hair out of his eye. He's been crying.

"Hey handsome," you smiled, kissing his lips. He turns towards you. Pulling you on to his lap and cups you face. There's no rush to the dance of your lips. Just soft brushes and tongue caress. You pull away panting. 

"Gods, I'll never get tired of this."

"Good cause I'm quite smitten with you." You grab his hands, taking the ring from his palm. You slide it onto his left ring finger, the magic tightening the metal to fit perfectly. You press a soft kiss to it sliding off. "Now come; I want to cuddle."

He helps rid you of your dress, slipping on one of his shi in replacement. You both slide under the sheet, Astarion pulls you onto his chest, strong arms enclosing you. Your head is tucked under his chin. He presses a kiss to your hairline whispering I love you.

You play with his hand, taking it off and putting it on each finger, watching it shift to fit each one. It was quiet for a while. Both of you are just soaking in each other. 

"Our family," Astarion says quietly, his chest rumbling under your ear. You drop his hand and look up. He has a look of pure love. "The term has been one that has only caused me pain for 200 years. To think I would find a new one that could contest 200 years of shit is…pleasant. Something I didn't expect to have again"

You smile brightly, grabbing his face and pressing your lips back onto his. "We really lucked out, didn't we. Now how about we get some sleep, and in the morning, we go get Evelyn's oranges together."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, just running his hand down your spine, stopping at the swell of your bum and back up again. He kisses you again. "There is nothing I'd like more."

Feedback is welcome and always makes me smile, hate does not! Have a nice day, cheers!

[scarfacemarston]

Dragon Age Pride Requests!

Headcanons only! My specialties are character x reader mainly because I've never received requests for ships and I'm not experienced in it! If you don't see a character, I can still likely write it. I write MLM, Gender Neutral, WLW, Non Binary, Ace and Trans. I tend to have more experience with WLW. Reblogs appreciated! SFW preferred. Just a few examples of x Hawke/Warden/Inquisitor ships.:

Hawke x Fenris Hawke x Isabela Hawke x Merill Dorian Pavus x Inquisitor Cullen Rutherford x Inquisitor Cassandra x Inquisitor Leliana x Warden Alistair x Warden (Less experience with Zevran or Morrigan, but willing!)

[lunastarhawk]

Hi hello this is a proper pinned master post

Rhaella made me do it.

This started off as an Arcana blog, to share my fanfiction and occasionally interact with people, but has since grown into a place for me to collect stuff I like. An interweb scrapbook, if you will. A little castle in a sandbox where I vibe with my favourite things. And you can sit with me if you like :) but I'm old, tired and socially inept. She/her, if it matters.

I ask minors to please be cautious, this is not a SFW blog. Like, at all. If in doubt please don't follow me. Stay safe out there.

I exist on AO3 as LunaStarhawk and on reddit as u/lunastarhawk.

Tags, links and whatnot...

Writings:

(please assume all my writing is Explicitly NSFW unless stated otherwise)

The Arcana Fanfic - is what it says on the tin. Encompasses all my works, including reader insert and Julian x MC.

Tides of Memories - specific to my ongoing longlonglongfic.

Tides Moodboard - references, inspo and general vibes relating to ToM.

Julian x Altheia - all things specific to Julian and my oc.

I'm screaming but I'm having fun <- that's a writing tag. It do be like that sometimes.

OC Tags

The Arcana - Altheia Featherstone

I have a separate blog for my Julian-romancing Arcana OC, Altheia, which is a themed blog based on stuff she likes, outside of the Arcana. She, er. She likes boats. And the sea. But I post Arcana-related bits here under her tags Altheia Featherstone, Altheia aesthetic and Altheia moodboard.

Her own blog in her own right is at @altheia-featherstone (Rhaella made me do it)

Dragon Age: Inquisition - Favian Trevelyan

I don't write DA fics (yet?) but I am obsessed with do have a handsome Dorian-romancing Inquisitor, Favian. I do nothing but stick screenshots of him and my Inquisition playthrough to my scrapbook here on tumblr dot com. Peak self-indulgence. His tags are Inquisitor Favian, and Dragon Age Shenanigans.

A separate blog exists for him but I haven't decided yet how I'll use it @inquisitor-favian (Rhaella made me do it)

Rhaella - belongs to @rhaella-rhavelli but I love her and will squirrel her away into my pocket any chance I get.

FF7 - Sephiroth and Vincent Valentine mostly.

Fixations

Other fandom things I reblog a lot for my scrapbook, putting this here mainly as an index for myself:

Loki - series, MCU, comic and Lady Loki. I ship Lokius.

The Arcana - Julian Devorak, Julian x Altheia. I avoid anything Asrian like the Red Plague.

Dragon Age - Dorian Pavus, Emmrich Volkarin, Lucanis Dellamorte, Alistair, da:o, da:i, da:v

Music - Julian and Altheia's greatest hits, music for my blorbos is soothing my soul, Friday night jams, tune Tuesday.

#beloved :)

AO3 Links (LunaStarhawk)

Julian x Altheia (Female OC)

Tides of Memories - current WiP. A continuation of Julian's route's upright ending and my prologue story, with my OC, Altheia.

Between the Deep Blue Sea and the Devil - Self-indulgent rewrites of a selection of scenes from Julian's route, specific to him and Altheia, as referenced in ToM. Ongoing as and when the mood takes me.

Past the Midnight Sun - Self-indulgent smut and fluff between Julian and Altheia. I love them, you see. Ongoing as and when the mood takes me.

Gender Neutral Reader Insert

The Memories We Lost - A sort of prologue to the Arcana, this is my take on Julian and MC's time during the Red Plague. Complete.

'He Was Mine' - Reimagined Reminiscences - My first fic series, a collection of mostly smutty rewrites of some of Julian's route scenes. Complete.

Domestic Daydreams - Julian and spouse do Mundane Things. Very unlikely I will add to this.

Female Reader Insert

Post-Route Shenanigans - smut with Julian and his girlfriend.

Violet - that one time I wrote Asra smut.

Male Reader Insert

Post-Route Henanigans - like shenanigans but with a He. I think I'm funny. Smut with Julian and his boyfriend.

I think that's everything, enjoy your stay :)

[alistairs-fables]

Welcome to my blog~

My name is Alistair. (Any pronouns are fine but prefers he/him.)

My muse here may fluctuate as this blog is driven by passion and interest. This is a blog dedicated to writing my various OCs with readers that are interested in them, whether it's romantically, platonically or otherwise. Here's the long list of OCs to choose from.

What I WILL Write: Genres: - Fluff - Angst / Drama - Smut / Erotica - Hurt / Comfort

Character Specific Topics: - Character x Reader - Character & Reader (it's like an "x reader" but without romance or sex) - Male, female, trans, gender-neutral, etc reader (just specify when requesting or I will default to gender-neutral) - Monster AUs (vampires, sirens, werewolves, golems, etc) - Yandere (will have a CW for those that wish to avoid that content)

Writing Topics: - LGBTQIA+ - Polyamory - Pregnancy - Weddings/Proposals - SFW and NSFW - Heavy/Deep topics including but not limited to dark thoughts, s*lf-h*rm, s**cide/s**cidal thoughts, trauma, recovery, grief/loss, death, etc. (All will have a CW for those that wish to avoid that content)

What I WON'T Write (SFW): Honestly the top three should go without saying. - P*dophilia - B*stiality - Inc*st - Cheating - Miscarriages

DNI If: Racist, transphobic, homophobic, a minor, MAP/NOMAP, fetishizer

Things to Keep In Mind: - I am allowed to deny any request. I am not obliged to answer or write if it's something that just doesn't sit right with me, even if the request follows all the rules.

Now that all of that's out of the way, if any of this strikes your fancy you're free to take a seat and stick around for as long as you'd like! It's a pleasure to have you here.

-Yours truly, Alistair. (NSFW/NSFT under the cut!)

What I WILL Write (Smut Bonus!): - Edgeplay, however there will be no serious, permanent or heavy inflictions. (Burns, deep cuts/stab wounds, etc) - Dom/Sub scenarios and dynamics - Most kinks that might involve monsters or something of the sort. (Oviposition, knotting, tentacles, A/B/O, etc. You name it, I might be able to do it.) - Most kinks in general

What I WON'T Write (NSFW): - Everything in the SFW listing. - Bathroom kinks/kinks that involve bodily fluid outside of cum (piss, scat, vomit, spitting, heavy blood, etc) - Fat fetish (fat appreciation is okay) - Minor characters/readers. Obviously. Anything that needs to be changed or added will be done post-haste.

[writingfromkitchenator]

Alistair ~ That’s What Couples Do

1,300 Followers Challenge!

Round 3 – Bonus fics!

Masterlist

Words: 1,032

Warnings: Neutral Aeducan Reader, mild angst, fluff

Alistair watched as you stressed on the other side of camp.  It was written clearly on your expression, even though you were trying to hide it, and he hated that he honestly had no idea what to say.

He couldn’t blame you for not wanting to go back to where you’d once called home.

You hadn’t voiced anything out loud about it yet, but Alistair knew it was a similar feeling to what he’d had before they’d reached Redcliff.  He thought about that for a long time too, before blurting out the truth to you, and while you weren’t the type to do that, he hated seeing you so lost I thought about it.

Alistair knew that you were middle child of house Aeducan, knew that you were royalty, and all of that was suddenly turned on its head when you exiled to the deep roads.  He didn’t know the reason why, but he figured this was what you were mulling over so deeply.

Briefly, he met Wynn’s gaze across the fire and she gave him a slightly stern look before nodding at you.

He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure, while silently cursing Wynn.  The two of you had only been together for a couple of weeks, and, in all honesty, he was used to you coming to him.

The longer he looked at you though, the more he knew that Wynn was right.

Sighing, he stood and went to you, you seemingly unaware of his presence until he sat.

“Hey,” he said gently, a note of concern in his voice.  “You do much more thinking over here and I’m going to start guessing what your plan is.”

Your laugh was quiet and brief, but it gave him some relief that your thoughts hadn’t consumed you entirely.  “I’m making a getaway plan; I’m going to leave all this to you.”

“Can I voice an opinion and say that’s a terrible idea then?”  He said with a smile.  “We both know that would only end in disaster, not to mention my compulsion to come after you.”

You laughed a little more this time, but the worry and stress still returned as you sighed heavily.

Alistair gave your shoulder a small nudge.  “Come on. Talk to me.”

“I…” You hesitated before you looked at him.  “I was accused of murdering my eldest brother, that’s why I was exiled, when in reality it was my younger brother, but nothing could be proven.  The…rumours that have reached me during the course of all this, of what is happening in Orzammar, despite what I am now bound to, I just know that they will try and get me involved.”

“You know we don’t have to be,” Alistair said gently.  “We can just walk in and request they honour the treaties.”

You shake your head. “If Orzammar is in political turmoil, they won’t allow it.  There’s...well, there’s a lot of traditions that they follow.  Having seen the outside world now, it does seem a bit...ridiculous.  Due to who I was, no matter what I was accused of doing, I can guarantee if things are as bad as I’ve heard, then they try to do everything they can.”

Alistair frowned, knowing where you were coming from, but not really understanding.  “If they exiled you, why would they want your opinion on things?”

The corner of your mouth twitched a little, as if to smile.  “I was...heavily into the politics Alistair, I enjoyed it.  I know the laws as good as any of them and being a Grey Warden on top of that gives any party involved an advantage if they can get me onside.”

He hesitates for a moment. "If you were exiled, will they let you in to even do that?"

"They won't have a choice,” You grimaced.  "To them, I'm already classified as dead, or as good as, and honour demands respect to the Wardens."

It was then Alistair truly understood just how much you had lost, and he honestly didn’t know how you were actually keeping it all together.  His chest ached for you the more he thought about it, and so he shifted closer to your side and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“I’m sorry that all this has happened to you,” he said softly.  “And that you still have to deal with so much else on top of it.”

You relaxed into him, making him give a silent of relief.  “And I’m sorry for what happened to you.  I guess we really are as an odd couple as some of our companions think.”

Alistair chuckled and kissed the top of your head.  “There’s more than one way to skin a cat if you know…if you…uh…” he faltered under your gaze as you looked at him, and he suddenly realised that he didn’t need to say anything at all.  “Never mind…”

Smiling, you rested against him.  “Whatever happens in there, don’t think less of me Alistair.”

“I could never think less of Y/N,” he said softly.  “And you know I’m going to be right here for whatever you need.  That’s what-what couples do for each other right?”

You smiled, but he couldn’t see it, nodding.  “Yeah, that’s what couples do for each other.  I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Alistair chuckled after a moment.

“What?”

“I was just thinking of the irony,” he said.  “The two of us, technically with royal blood, thrown out on the road to a life that neither of us expected or should’ve probably had.”

“Ah, the bastard and the criminal?”

Alistair laughed.  “Something like that I suppose.  Can you imagine if we’d met under different circumstances though?  What would things have been like then?”

You thought for a moment.  “We would’ve caused quite the stir I’m sure.”

The two of you laugh together, and while he knew you were still worried about what the two of you were going into, Alistair was just glad that maybe he could make it a little easier for you to deal with.  He hated to think of you trying to do all this on your own, and now, more than ever, he realised he was right where he wanted to be.

[fairy-eclipse]

Hi! Your writing is truly awesome and you are very well-spoken. It's a pleasure to see your works. I was wondering if you would be up to writing a piece about Tom helping a gender-neutral reader after someone poisoned their dinner on purpose? If not then maybe Tom showing affection to a touch-starved gender-neutral reader? Thank you in advance!

A Lot at Steak

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

Warnings: nausea, vomiting

A/N: thank you anon !!!!

The flickering radiance of a thousand candles floating overhead is a welcome sight after a particularly bad day of rigorous classwork. You take in the astounding view of the Enchanted Ceiling with its starry expanse of black skies and pale moon beaming through wisps of white clouds. Settling into your regular seat next to your housemate Alistair, you eye the heaps of food on your table with a content sigh.

With no time to waste, you dig in. 

"Alistair, this steak is weird.”

You cut off another piece and chew at it thoughtfully. Every bite elicits a rancid taste and while it's subtle enough to not be horrible, you're a little disappointed. This isn't quite up to par with the usually unrivaled, top-notch Hogwarts cooking.

He swivels in his seat to look at you. "Mine is delectable. I don't suppose you got on the house elves' nerves lately?" You shake your head.

He frowns, worry finding its way into the creases of his brow. "Maybe you should put the fork down."

"But I'm hungry," you protest, grinning at the unamused look on his face. "Hey, food is food. It's not like something's going to happen to me, right?"

Alistair relents with a sigh. "Yeah."

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

No.

You’re hunched over a toilet in the lavatory, head reeling and stomach lurching with every new surge of nausea. The overbearing taste of salt coats your tongue and you’re praying to whatever higher being is above to please end your misery for fear that you’ll spill all your guts out. 

Or whatever remains of it.

Someone must have heard you because you’re flushing the toilet a few minutes later feeling slightly less disoriented, though still very much like you just took a Bludger to the stomach.

You wash up at the basin. 

Who would do this to you? 

Immediately a few names pop up off the top of your head. You scold yourself for being so stupid. Really, that first bite should have been a tell-tale sign that something was amiss.

Curse you and your insatiable hunger.

The sound of approaching footsteps jolts you from your thoughts. You realize with a twinge of panic that if someone spots you, you’re going to have to give a thorough explanation as to why you’re in the lavatory looking like a sad mess while everyone else is savoring their (perfectly safe to consume) dinner. You can wave your pride goodbye at that point. 

You barely have time to brace yourself before a familiar voice pierces the air.

"It isn't like you to run out so suddenly." Tom says as he comes into sight.

This is bad. Really bad. 

All at once your head feels heavy, as if a bowling ball has somehow replaced your brains. It isn't like you can even focus on feeling humiliated right now, but did he really have to be the one to find you in such a state?

"Well? What's wrong?"

Maybe it’s the burning shame, or the aftermath of the poison, or both, but suddenly your lips are sewed shut and talking seems a near impossible thing. You stare at the faucet, hands gripping either side of the sink as if it’s your lifeline, your only means of stability.

You hear Tom sigh impatiently from where he’s standing outside. A few quiet seconds pass, and you think you’ve turned him away with your lack of response until he strides in to close the distance. 

His thumb and forefinger brush against your chin and he lifts your face up to meet his gaze. You watch his piercing eyes flit to the sweat on your brow and then the heaving of your shoulders paired with your heavy, shuddering breaths.

You can practically see the moment his composure crumbles. 

"Who hurt you?"

Your eyes widen in alarm and you shake your head quickly in an attempt to dispel whatever assumptions he could’ve thought up in those two seconds.

A mistake. You clamp a shaky hand over your mouth. Vomit inches up your throat, this time the situation more unpleasant, dire. You see an inkling of realization dawn on his face. 

In an instant your mind is swimming and your knees are buckling and you’re stumbling to make it in time despite the fact that the world has dwindled to a dizzying blur. 

Tom wrenches the stall door open and you rush in, missing the concern that has snuck into his frown.

Maybe it’s your imagination, but you swear you feel a light hand rubbing circles on your back as you hurl into the toilet. Again.

Whatever did they put in your food?

By the time you leave the lavatory, you feel...drained. Fatigue has possessed your every muscle, and every burdened step feels like a descent into hell. You’re a ragdoll; pathetic and limp and seconds away from crumbling.

But when you do crumble it's in the comfort of his arms, and maybe that’s not so bad after all. Your head subconsciously droops onto his shoulder, body molding to fit his.

“Aguamenti,” you hear him murmur. You lift your head to see a jet of water filling up a conjured glass in his hand. He brings it to your parched lips. "Drink." 

You down it ravenously, the coolness of it soothing your lungs, revitalizing your bones. Whoever executed the whole plan sure did one heck of a job, because that was just about the most horrid experience of your life.

As if reading your thoughts, you feel Tom tense against you. 

“It's dragon poison,” he says, voice dangerously low, “in a water-downed form.”

You blink in surprise, but not because he knows about something like this. That part is nothing new. But the process to attain the substance is an arduous one, so to think that someone has enough of a vendetta against you to somehow acquire it—?

“Tell me who did it,” Tom demands. “I’ll make them pay.”

“I’m not sure,” you reply meekly. Irked as you are, you can’t pinpoint the blame on anyone just yet.

You know under any other circumstance Tom would goad you into giving him more information, but for now he lets you rest there against him under the dim light of the corridor. 

“Tom?” You shift on your feet. “That must have been pretty revolting. Sorry for—”

“You’re a fool,” Tom interrupts briskly. “A moron. Surely you should have been able to deduce that that was no ordinary steak.”

You know he doesn’t mean it, you know it’s his way of telling you that you ought to be more careful, but the remark still stings. You loosen your grip on his robes.

Tom sighs again. Then, much gentler, in a voice you know is reserved for you and you only, he whispers, “Never mind that. I’m still going to have to take you to the infirmary. Just to make sure that you’re— that you don’t throw up again.”

“Okay,” you mumble, warmth spreading where the emptiness was seconds ago. As long as you can be with him a little longer.

And yet, you can’t help but wonder if this incident has changed his view of you. You wonder if he thinks you’re pathetic for that pitiful display back there.

Perhaps you get your answer when he cups your face and presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. You break into a smile. 

He doesn’t stop there, though—he kisses you a little more, kisses all the embarrassment away, the qualmishness and the apprehension until by the end of it all the remain in your stomach are butterflies.

And you think maybe that’s not so bad after all.

[forever-rogue]

In Name Only - Part 14

A/N: Hello friends, I’m so excited to share another chapter of INO with you! I hope you still love it as much as I do! Please note, I did do some research for this chapter, so what you’re reading is pretty much historically accurate! As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: mentions of violence and injury

IN NAME ONLY SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

The journey back to Sunspear took just shy of a week and was...surprisingly tranquil compared to your brief stay in Starfall. It was such a shame really, because it was a beautiful place and the people were kind, except for the lady of the house herself. She hadn’t been inherently mean, no, you’d be lying if you said she was, but she just rubbed you the wrong way. The very wrong way with her accusations and contrite words against your beloved.

When you had left, your eyes had scanned the wood for any signs of the mysterious woman you had met. You were still questioning your own mental state and really did wonder if you had imagined the whole thing. But surely...you hadn’t made it all up....

That morning at breakfast before your departure, you politely declined the tea that was placed in front of you without so much as a word. Oberyn had glanced in your direction for just a moment but if his suspicions were raised, he didn’t show it. When you had departed, he had briefly asked what happened and you were upfront with him as you had vowed to be. You had nothing to hide from him, and no reason to ever feel the need, so why would you now?

“Moon tea,” you had told him calmly with a shrug of your shoulders as his left eyebrow arch raised in surprise as it was prone to doing. He opened his mouth to say something but you stopped him by gently putting your hand on his chest and giving him a small kiss, “don’t worry...there’s no need. Even if I thought….I could, I would not take it, dear husband.”

“Is that what the hurry to leave is about?” he asked quietly, an arm protectively finding its way around your waist. Stiffening for a moment, you gave him a small nod as he cast a furtive glance back at the castle, “did she do anything to you?”

“No,” you insisted, deciding to leave out the little detail that you had in fact drank the tea yesterday in a moment of confusion and worry, “she just...she drinks it in order to keep from falling pregnant by other men. Apparently she and her husband do not have great relations and she knows she can only have a child when there is no doubt that it is his heir.”

“Oh,” he said softly as you nodded, making sure that no one overheard your private conversations. If something was going to be spilling their secrets, you were going to make sure it was not you, “I see...why would she encourage you to drink it? We are married.”

A small pit formed in your stomach as you looked at him, offering him a soft smile before touching his cheek gently. He keened as into your warmth as he always did, and your heart felt like it broke a little. All the nasty accusations thrown out about him were disgusting and you would never allow anyone to do such a thing again. Next time you would have a more rigid backbone.

“She…” you trailed for a moment as you looked at him, finding his honeyed eyes watching you intently, “I love you, Oberyn. You know that, right?”

“Of course, my sunshine,” he promised, pressing a feather light kiss to the palm of your hand, “and I love you. More and more every passing day.”

“Lady Dayne is not immune to gossip and appears to love stirring up trouble when there is no need,” you decided to leave it at that as you walked over to your horses, pulling Oberyn along behind you. Part of you hoped he would leave it, let it go and be done with it, but you knew your husband better than that. He was silent as he helped you on your mare before mounting his steed. You could practically feel his eyes boring into you, so you turned to him, “Oberyn. People talk and spread rumors of things they know nothing about…”

“About me,” he said meekly, causing you to nod, “about-”

“It does not matter to me,” you cut him short, “I know the truth, you know the truth, and the people that matter do as well. That’s all that matters.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” just as you were growing proficient at reading him, he was the same with you.

“She said you would grow bored of me soon and then toss me to the side,” you finally admitted, “that you would tire of me once I am no longer shiny and new and find another plaything.”

Oberyn’s mouth hung open ever so slightly as his heart seemed to break slightly at your words - the shake to your voice. He reached for your hand and took it in his much larger one, giving it a tight squeeze, “that is not true. None of it. I-I -”

“I know, Oberyn,” you promised gently, almost wishing you hadn’t said anything at all at the upset look on his face, “that is what I meant - she likes to worry about things that do not concern and stir the pot when there is no need. I don’t like the lies or the negativity, which is largely the reason for my request for a sudden departure.”

“You know I would never do that to you,” he said softly, “that is not who I am, and I would not-”

“You have never given me a reason to doubt you, my love,” you insisted. He hadn’t; in fact he proved to you that you were his and he was yours, countless times, starting with when you had worried about a possible reconciliation with Ellaria, “and I do not. I have told you, as you have me, that if there comes a time when you wish to...take another lover you can do so.”

“That won’t happen,” he promised with an air of finality, “no one could take away the shine from my sunshine, not even on the most dreary of days, You have me, heart and soul forever, sweet girl.”

“You are a poet as much as a warrior and diplomat, my Prince,” you could practically feel yourself glowing under his praise as a gentle warmth flushed all over you, “I would be a fool to ever doubt your devotion.”

“Indeed you would,” he agreed with a small smirk, a bit of playfulness returning to his features. He spurred the steed on as he broke away from you, causing you to laugh before you chased after him. You would never have to worry about his love - that much you knew in your heart and soul. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Oh," the words crashed around your ears like a ton of bricks as you tried your best to keep a neutral expression on your face. The look on his was nothing but apologetic but the words still stung. You had just returned to Sunspear the evening before and here he was, ready to depart again. Although you had spent countless hours together recently, it didn't take this any easier. You'd spend all the hours of all your days with him if you could, “oh.”

"I am terribly sorry, my love," he said as you nodded, "Doran just informed me - apparently this is one of those times when I get no say in anything. But he's too poorly to travel right now, so I must take his place instead as it my duty as both his brother and as the Prince.”

"What about Arianne?" you pouted at him slightly, a last bit of a desperate plea to get him to stay as you tried to keep your lip from trembling too much. 

"She is coming with me," he said gently, "she's learning, but she still needs guidance sometimes..."

"And what about me?" you asked as he sighed lightly, not at you, but the situation rather, "its safe, right? Now that the young Stark is King? There's no need to worry-"

"Sunshine," he said gently but with a firm as he reached up and put his hand on the back of your neck, "please, please just listen to me. I know it seems safe, but there are always dangers out there. People will try anything to tear each other down, and in other parts of the kingdom they will not hesitate to do so, with or without the Stark King and Queen in the North. I just want you here...where I know I will come back to you safe and sound."

"What about you?" you were misty eyed by now as you tried to retain whatever little bit of composure you had to begin with, "what if something happens to you? I would never forgive myself-"

"Nothing will happen to me," he promised as he rested his forehead against yours, gently wiping away the few tears that had rolled down your cheeks,  "no one would dare tread on the Red Viper. I will always, always, come back to you in one piece."

"Promise?" you asked meekly as you let your lips graze against his ever so slightly. You could feel his tug into a minute smile as he nodded; you never wanted to let him go.

"Always."

"And you'll be careful?"

"Of course."

"And you'll take Jeron and the best of your men with you?"

"Who will that leave you with here?" 

"I have Asha," you reminded him of your young handmaiden that you adored beyond measure. You had been glad to reunite with her after almost a month apart, "and besides. I have all of Dorne at my side."

"I'm sorry about leaving so soon," he whispered as his hand started to slowly roam your body, pulling a small gasp from your lips, "I will make my stay as short as possible."

"Please do," you said softly, trying to stifle the moan from spilling last your lips, as he started to place light kisses along your jaw and neck, "I want you back here, in one piece as quickly as possible. I love you..."

"I love you too, sweet girl," he promised, "before I leave, let me show you how much..."

»»————-　♡　————-««

“What’s wrong?” Alistair asked, tugging lightly on your skirts as you turned to look at him. The small boy was watching you with wide, gentle eyes as he held a half eaten cookie in his hand. Your heart melted at the sight, and you quickly bent down to kiss the top of his dark, curly hair. You thought you had been masking your sadness and worry well enough, but apparently your efforts were not enough. It was hard enough to hide anything from a child anyway. 

“Nothing, sweet boy,” you promised him, although the lie felt weak on your tongue and out loud, lingering slightly too long in the warm Dornish air, “I suppose I’m just a bit tired.”

“Are you sure?” he asked as you nodded, but before either of you could say anything else, he stretched out his hand to you, the cookie still in it, “do you want this? Cookies always make me feel better.”

“You…” you didn’t have it in your heart to say no, so you took the cookie and bit off a piece before offering him the remainder, which he eagerly accepted. The two of you ate it in silence, and you felt a wave of emotion wash over you, and there was only a moment of hesitation before you scooped him up in your arms and held him tightly to your chest. He quickly snuggled up to you, “you are an absolute sweetheart. Thank you so much.”

“You just looked sad,” he said softly, “my sister always gives me cookies when I’m sad.”

“Well that’s very wise of you,” you said softly, putting him back down, “now, why don’t you go outside and play with the other kids? It’s a beautiful day.”

“Okay,” he agreed, going to the door to start heading out but quickly turned back to you, “if you’re still sad, you can come out and play with us!”

“Thank you,” you shot him a wink as he laughed, giving you a wave before he ran out into the warm, golden sunlight. 

“The stress weighs heavy on you,” Asha commented as she came back, causing you to give  her a tightlipped smile, “it is best not to worry.”

"How am I not to worry, Asha?" you mused as you started to cut up fresh fruit for a snack for the children, making it a point to avoid the berries that reminded you so much of your husband. Your hands were trembling slightly as you tried to focus on keeping your knife cuts neat and clean, "it has been over a fortnight since I have heard from Oberyn. This isn't like him..."

"Perhaps he's just very preoccupied," she offered, coming over to your side and motioning for you to hand her the knife. Sighing lightly, you gave it to her as doubts swirled your mind, "business can take longer than usual sometimes."

You huffed slightly as you leaned against the counter, "Arianne is home and safe...while couldn't the fool come back with her?"

"It will be okay," she insisted although she too was getting mildly worried. It wasn't like Oberyn to just seemingly drop off the face of the planet like this.

"What if it's not?" you tried not to cry and have a complete breakdown, "what if he's hurt o-or worse? What if he's..."

"Stop," she stated firmly, such an edge to her voice that your head snapped into her direction. The young woman seemed surprised by her own sharpness and she set down the knife and gave you an apologetic look, but you just shook your head, "Oberyn is not...he couldn't be. He's the Red Viper...he wouldn't just die."

Your lower lip started to tremble as you tried not to completely lose it. The idea that Oberyn could possibly be harmed, or even worse...dead was a possibility that you refused to fully accept. Something was causing a delay, you were sure of it. Oberyn wouldn't just...leave. Or unnecessarily delay his return. Right? Right. So then why were you questioning it?

"You're right," you agreed quietly, trying to hide the worry and concern in your voice. She didn't need to worry unnecessarily, and if she saw you worrying, she likely would also. You had to remain strong, for her, for everyone else, and most importantly for yourself. That was your job now, as his wife and one of the heads of the Martell family. You swallowed the lump in your throat before hastily pulling off your apron and tossing it onto the counter, "you're right, Asha. Its Oberyn - he would never let anything happen to him. If his return is delayed, its for a reason. A good one."

"Are you-"

"Stay here," you gave her shoulder a gentle touch, "please finish up my duties for the day. I have to return to the palace...I just remembered that I was to see Doran this afternoon."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Practically sprinting back to the palace, you pulled up your skirts and ignored the curious looks of the people you passed by. You didn’t care, nothing in that moment mattered besides getting back to Doran giving him a little surprise inquisition. He had been calm, terribly calm, the whole Oberyn time had been gone. If he thought something had happened to his young brother, he would have been worried, surely. Doran, you had come to realize, was a lot of things. He was a good man - smart, kind, funny at times, but above all else he was a man that was deeply devoted to his family. Just like all the Martells were; it was a trait that was strong through with all of them. Doran had to know something.

You waved off all the inquisitive shouts of your name and made a beeline for Doran’s study, opening the door without hesitation. You must have startled him greatly because the book that was in his hands fell and tumbled to the desk, and he made a small sound of surprise. Taking a moment to gather himself, he earmarked the page he was on, something that would greatly wound Oberyn if he was there to witness it, before setting it down and softly saying your name before turning to you. You could see that there was just a glint of nerves in his eyes.

“Where is Oberyn?” you asked him before slamming the door shut and striding over to his desk, a look of rage and anger on your face as your chest heaved up and down. Doran’s face paled as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how to answer you. Putting your hands on his desk, you stared the older man down, “where is my husband?!”

“My dear, there is no reason to worry,” he insisted softly, trying to calm you down before you flew into an even bigger fit of rage. It was in that moment that he saw a little of Oberyn in you and he wondered if it was him rubbing off on you or your true self coming out. In reality, you were a calm, composed person, not prone to sudden mood swings, but now, in between your worry and fear, you were beyond yourself, “Oberyn is fine.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked softly, a dangerous edge to your words, “unless you’ve been speaking with him or you know something I don’t. Now tell me, why wouldn’t my husband tell me where he was or what he was doing?”

“Sometimes the nature of these things is confidential and they can take time and-”

“I’m his wife,” you reminded him firmly, “he has nothing to hide from me - he wouldn’t. If you won’t tell me what is going I’ll just go to King’s Landing myself and find him.”

“You wouldn’t-”

“Try me,” you straightened up and crossed your arms over your chest as you stared him down, “who would dare to stop me? As much as I would hate to resort to this, I will use whatever pull I have, and I don’t think people would argue with Oberyn Martell’s wife.”

“You mustn’t resort to that,” he insisted quietly and you felt relieved and yet...you could see that he was still struggling with something. You signed lightly before softening your expression and coming to the conclusion that you might have gone on too fast and too hard, “I know where he is.”

“Oh,” you said in a surprised tone as you tried to figure out if that was a positive or negative thing, “oh. You knew this whole time? And y-you didn’t think to tell me?”

“It is was nothing to concern yourself over-”

“My husband is gone for weeks longer than he should be, I have been worried day and night and you didn’t think i should be concerned? If you’d at least have told me what was going on I wouldn’t be so upset!” you threw your hands up in exasperation, “I just...I don’t care about anything, but I just want to make sure he’s okay. That’s all that matters.”

“After he and Arianne finished their business in King’s Landing, Oberyn turned his attention to Old Town,” he explained as you almost jumped back in surprise. 

“Old Town,” you repeated slowly, almost not able to believe the words he was saying. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you tried to process the news, “Old Town...that’s the Reach...right by Honeyholt. Why on earth would he go there….without me? That’s my home...he didn’t mention…”

“He did not disclose his business to me either,” Doran admitted with a feeble sound from the back of his throat, “I pressed him to tell me and he refused. I encouraged the fool to tell you and he refused. Oberyn is a stubborn man when he wants to be and will not be forced into doing anything he does not fancy. I am sorry for I too have been a fool. I should have told you sooner - when he first informed me of his extended stay.”

“I just don’t...understand,” you admitted quietly, “what is there for him in Old Town? There’s nothing or there’s....”

Brothels. Plenty of them. Old Town was famous for many things but the most predominant things were by far the Citadel and the brothels that littered the land amply. You couldn’t even bring yourself to say the word out loud.

“Yes,” Doran acknowledged as you held out a hand out to steady yourself. You weren’t mad, you weren’t angry…you were just surprised. Surprised that he hadn’t told you of his whereabouts, of his intentions, of anything really. You were sure that you could tell him anything and vice versa. But apparently you had been mistaken, “I am sorry, young one. But I would not worry about his safety or well-being. He should return soon, and I am sure in one piece. The rumors about him...his tendencies...I would not worry about them. They’re just rumors - folly.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” you pulled your trembling lips into a tight smile in order to keep yourself from crying. You felt like a fool - not because you had trusted or loved Oberyn, you still did to both, but for worrying for nothing. It was not your position to be angry for taking solace in the comfort of other beds if that was indeed what he had done. You’d made that clear many, many times. But you wished he would have told you something, anything instead of keeping you waiting around. 

“Do not worry-”

“I am not worried,” you insisted meekly, “not anymore. As long as I know he’s safe, that’s all that matters to me.”

“You do not have to worry about his devotion to you-”

“Lady Martell?” the door to Doran’s slowly opened and a young man who recognized from around the palace grounds stuck his head in. You quieted any sniffles that had welled up and quickly dabbed at your wet eyes before turning to him. You offered him the warmest smile you could muster up as he looked between you and the older prince, clearly sensing that something heavy had just been discussed, “I-I’m sorry to interrupt. The Maester asked me to summon you.”

The Maester. Of course. In your haste and worry over your husband, you’d completely forgotten that you’d agreed to go and see the Maester that very afternoon. Sighing lightly, you nodded at him, “let him know I will be there in just a few moments.”

“The Maester?” Doran asked as you refused to meet his eyes, “is everything alright, my dear?”

“Quite,” you answered softly, “I suppose I will see you at dinner then. I-I’m sorry for coming and causing a scene for no reason.”

“There is no need for apologies,” he insisted as you offered a curt nod in response before seeing yourself out of his study. You did want to pity yourself and your foolish heart, but you didn’t have time for that now. That would wait until later, when you were in your chambers by yourself. 

Straightening your shoulders, you tried to hold yourself as tall as possible as you crossed the palace grounds in search of the Maester. You’d never met him before, but you were sure that he would be as kind as everyone else in Dorne. You just weren’t so thrilled that you’d have to meet him in this state. It was no matter though, he was the Maester after all, he’d likely seen much worse.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You knocked on the door to the Maester’s chambers and were quickly called in but not by a voice you had been expecting - it was a soft woman’s voice. Stepping inside, you looked around the beautiful sunlight quarters, already feeling at ease. Scanning the rooms you saw all sorts of vials and bottles containing liquids and concoctions of all different colors and consistencies. The soft, delicate scent of warm spices lingered in the air. At the other end of the large room you saw a woman, modestly dressed with a kind face that appeared to be around Oberyn’s age motioning for you to close the door.

“Lady Martell,” she said gently as she came over to you and held out her hand. Still confused, you reached out and shook it, “it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Y-you’re the Maester?” you asked as she slowly nodded. You shouldn’t have been surprised you realized - this was Dorne after all. Women could be anything they wanted here and were not subject to the harsh realities that most other parts subjected them to. In some ways you were relieved that you were here with another instead of a man. 

“Selsa,” she introduced herself as you told her your name, although you were unsure if it was really necessary. She had a warm, comforting presence and some of the tension who had been holding in your shoulders seemed to ease up, “and don’t worry, I was trained by a man-”

You laughed lightly at her little quip as she tried to get you to calm down, “it matters not. I trust you more than any man outside of Dorne. I have no reason to doubt your prowess simply because you are a woman, do I? That would be foolish of me.”

“A forward thinking woman from the North,” she said as she offered you a seat in the soft, plush velvet sofa she had near the window. You sat down it and the cushion deflated slightly, almost as if it was sighing along with you, “that must be why the Prince and all of Dorne adores you so.”

“I am but one mere woman,” you played it off, but you would not lie and say you didn’t appreciate the sentiment, “I just happened to get lucky.”

“Either way,” she said as she stood near you, “we are glad to have you here in Dorne. I hear you have fit in very well. Now tell me, what can I possibly assist with?”

You played with a loose thread of fabric for a moment, twisting it in your fingers as you wondered where to begin. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, and waited patiently for you to speak, “umm...children, I-I suppose. It’s just that for the moment. I want to...would like to...know if there was any way to know if I can have children. If there’s any chance of my husband and I...having one of our own.”

“Oh,” she seemed mildly surprised by your request, but her expression didn’t change or do anything to suggest her shock or that she was appalled. You just gave her a light shrug as she came over and sat down next to you, “well, there are some ways we can try and see. However, right now, there’s no definite way to know...I guess unless you are actively trying and it never happens. The things we can do are strong indicators but they're not exact. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” you agreed quietly, “sure, whatever it is, we can try it. I figure either way I’ve got nothing to lose.”

“I just have a few questions to get my bearings, “ she said as you motioned for her to ask, “do you menstruate regularly and for how long?”

“Yes...if I remember correctly since around my thirteenth year.”

“Have you ever had excessive bleeding or anything to concern you about it?”

“No.”

“Were you with anyone before your husband?” she asked, “sometimes when a couple is newly trying it can take a while for things to pan out…”

“We-we’re not trying,” you admitted almost sheepishly, “I-I just want to know...probably for my own peace of mind. But I was with someone before...he and I…”

“No need to expand,” she took your hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, “it’s okay. Let me guess - you were not careful to try and prevent a pregnancy?”

“No,” you scoffed at yourself lightly before the two of you laughed, “we were young fools in love and it was never something I worried about. But I’m sure if it was a possibility it should have happened…”

“Hmm,” she mused quietly before standing up and walking over to the other end of the room. She rummaged around for a moment, leaving you to wonder what she was up to, before coming back with a large clay pot. She stopped by one of the large cabinets and pulled something out before chucking it into the pot. When she was satisfied with her handiwork, she stood in front of you and held out the pot to you, “I hope you have to urinate.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s an old test,” she explained as you curiously took the pot, “it’s been around for generations, used by Maesters and healers to check for fertility. Like I said. It’s old and far from exact, but it’s the best thing we’ve got to work with for now. “

“Oh...so you want me to pee? In that pot...”

“Yes!” she said as you just raised your eyebrows at her, “I put some bran into the bottom and you just pee on it. Then we leave it alone for about a week and come back and check it. If there’s nothing there and its clear, it means you are fertile, otherwise if things like bugs or worms get into it, it is supposed to suggest infertility.”

“That’s…odd,” you almost laughed at the little test, finding it hard to believe that people still used it. It sounded absolutely loony, but if people had been using it for this long...maybe it was accurate. Either way, you decided, you had nothing to lose and your bladder was pretty full. “I guess it can’t hurt anything.”

“It’s up to you, My Lady,” she promised and you stood up nodding affirmatively. 

“I’ll do it,” you decided, “besides if nothing else it will be an interesting experiment, no?”

“Indeed,” she agreed, showing you to the room she used as a bathroom, “take your time and when you’re done you can just leave it in there. I’ll keep it safe for the week and we can take a look once the time has passed.”

“Sure,” you were nervous suddenly, and wondered just how accurate this would all be. Part of you was also scared that it would confirm the long buried doubt and fear you’d always had, “thank you…”

“It is no problem,” she promised, “and nothing to worry or fear over. We know here that some things are what they are and we cannot change them. The ability to conceive and carry a child does not define you, or anyone else. It does not define your heart or your character - remember that.”

“Thank you,” you answered quietly, relieved and comforted by her kind words. She knew what it would have been had you been married to another man in another part of the kingdom. 

“Of course, and don’t worry. This will stay strictly between the two of us,” you gave her a thankful look, “and once you’re back, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a look at everything in more depth. Just to make sure everything appears as it should.”

“Whatever you need to do,” you agreed, “I guess I just want some answers…”

“And we shall get them for you,” she insisted, “as best as we can.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Pushing the sheer curtains to the side, you immediately felt a wave of calm wash over you at the sunlight streaming into your chambers. There was a gentle, warm breeze, and everything was illuminated. You decided to change your linens, making it a point to keep things fresh and tidy for whenever Oberyn came back. It had been several more days since your conversation with Doran and there was still no word. You weren't worrying but -

"My lady," the door to your chambers practically burst open and Asha tumbled inside in her haste, almost falling to the floor. Rushing over to her, you held out your hand in order to straighten her up.

"What's with the rush?" you asked, taking her face in your hands and looking her over to make sure she was okay. Besides her erratic breathing and wild look in her eyes she appeared to be okay, "Asha?"

"It's the Prince," she managed to get out, "he's returned."

You could tell that something was wrong almost immediately. Dropping your hands from her face you ran past her, the linens already forgotten and discarded on the floor. You almost tripped over your skirts in your haste to run down the stairs, bounding them down two at a time as you rushed to get outside. 

Your heart was bouncing around in your chest wildly as  you tried to calm the horrible thoughts already racing in your mind. Every awful little thing that you could have happened was screaming as you burst out of the palace and through the throng that had gathered near the returned retinue.

“Oberyn!” you shouted at the top of your lungs as you spied his carriage and the crowd that was closely surrounding him. Jeron spotted you and his face, which was already in a grim expression seemed to fall even more. He tried to come over and grab you, in order to keep you from rushing straight to Oberyn’s side. His long strides made it easy and you were quickly held back in his strong grip. A small sound of frustration left you lips as you tried to pull away from him, clambering for any glimpse at your husband, “Jeron! Let me go! Oberyn-”

“You need to stop,” he said as calmly as he could, his heart breaking at the sight of the tears that were welling up in your eyes, “please, listen to me.”

“No,” you insisted firmly, “you listen to me! He is my husband and I want to see him!”

“Please, please,” he was practically begging you, a shake to his own voice as you gave up on trying to keep the tears that had pearled up from running over. You were a mess of emotion and all you cared about was seeing Oberyn. You stilled lightly and he dropped his voice, “listen for just a moment. H-he’s hurt. Badly.”

“No,” it was a choked out sob as your worst fears came true. This was what you had been worried from the start, from the moment that he first told you he was leaving again. The fact that he had been gone longer, that he had made a stop unbeknownst to you didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, absolutely nothing except making sure he was okay, “y-you’re lying! He’s...he can’t be hurt...”

“He’s in bad shape right now,” he said softly, an incredulous tone in his voice at the thought that the famed warrior ended up hurt, “I don’t know if you want to see him right now.”

“Oberyn,” his name well forth from your lips as you took advantage of his moment of indiscretion and pulled out of his grip and to the carriage. You shoved anyone who was in your way out of it and pushed to see Oberyn. You heard shouts of your name from Jeron, but you didn’t care - you needed to be by his side.

When the crowd seemed to part, already offering you pitying looks of sorrow you found yourself in front of Oberyn. He was sprawled out on a makeshift stretcher, and even if Jeron hadn’t told you that he was in bad shape, it was immediately apparent. His normally bright, bronze skin was paled and his chest was rising slowly, too slowly. No longer dressed in his normal regalia, but a simple pair of trousers and tunic, light in color, just enough so you could see the blood that had gotten on them from his abdomen. His face was covered in a sheen and his hair mused, a few lacerations on his face. He was not in bad shape - he was in horrible shape. 

Your knees felt like they were going to buckle at any moment and you couldn’t help the almost hysterical cry that left your lips as lunged towards him. Several of his retinue tried to keep you back, but you were too quick for them. You dropped to your knees as you reached for his face to gently grab it and try to pull him towards, tears flowing freely as  you blabbered incomprehensibly at him. He didn’t even open his eyes as you touched his face and leaned down so your forehead was pressed against his. The tears spilled from your eyes to on his cheeks, mixing in with the sweat that was covering his whole body, “O-Oberyn. No, no, no, please, please-”

“You have to get back,” someone insisted as you turned around and glared at him, not even caring that you were making a scene. A small ground had gathered around to see what all the excitement was about, and they were shamelessly staring. How dare someone tell you that you couldn’t be by your husband’s side, “he’s poorly-”

You quickly stood back up to your full height, wiping away the tears and summoning up as much of a commanding presence that you could manage. You are a Martell now, you reminded yourself, you have to be strong. And you would be damned if you allowed someone to tell you what to do when it came to Oberyn. Jeron rushed back over to you and stood by your side as you walked up to the man that had tried to stop you, “exactly. He’s hurt and he needs help! Get him inside and into bed now. Jeron - fetch the Maester immediately and tell her he needs help. We have to help him and quickly! The crowd needs to go and we need to tend him right now. Move!”

Without another word Oberyn’s men listened to your instructions and quickly sprung into action. It was almost like they had been shell shocked at the Prince’s state that they had somehow forgotten what to do. But in your state of panic, your wild thoughts somehow worked themselves out and you experienced a moment of clarity. Gods knew you wanted to fall apart then and there, but you could do that right now. Making sure Oberyn was safe and well was the first priority. 

You watched silently as the men carefully brought Oberyn inside and brought him to your bedroom. You trailed after them, wondering what could possibly have happened to cause such injuries to him. You knew he had enemies, hells, everyone in the Seven Kingdoms had at least one enemy, but you never thought someone would be so bold as to openly harm him. If anything happened to Oberyn, it would be enough to incite a war - if not by your hand, then by the people of Dorne. 

Time seemed to still in that moment as you tried your best to keep calm and not completely panic. You needed to be strong for yourself, for him, and for the rest of the family. Once he was settled in bed, and you waited for the Maester to come, you kneeled at his side, taking his hand ever so gently in yours, lacing your fingers together. You weren’t alone, several people were still milling about and monitoring him, but you didn’t care. 

“Oberyn,” you whispered softly as you pressed a kiss to his palm, “my love, my moon and stars. Please just...just hang on. You will be okay. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you. And when I find out who did this to you, I will make them pay. They will rue the day they dared to cross the Martells.”

He remained still as ever, and you wondered if he could even hear you. You hoped he could, in your heart of hearts you believed he could. Someone came in and brought some clean rags and water and you quickly set to wiping the sweat from his brow and cleaning the cuts on his face. They didn’t seem very deep and mostly superficial, which gave you the slightest sense of relief. When you were satisfied with that, you moved to pull off his tunic, deciding in your haste to just rip it off instead of trying to slip it over his head and disturbing him more. Your heart felt like it was seized up at the sight of the bandages, bloodied bandages, on his side. It was enough to make your stomach churn in horror as you wondered what was underneath. 

But before you could reach for them to inspect the damage, Sesla entered the room and quickly came to your side. You were grateful for her comforting presence and easily let her take over, pulling you to her help before quickly hugging you, “it will be okay, I promise. Nothing will strike down the Red Viper. I will make sure of it.”

“Please,” was all you managed to choke out as she turned to tend to Oberyn. You made a small, almost helpless sound as you watched her get to work. Jeron was standing in the doorway and his presence seemed to calm you down immensely. You strode over to him and he let out a long sigh. 

“I have failed you,” he said quietly as you shook your head, otherwise remaining silent. You gave his shoulder a squeeze as you realized that he must have been beating himself up over his. He was one of, if not the most, trust man Oberyn had, and yet...he was the one injured, “I promise you he’d come safe and I promised him that I’d return him safely to you. I have failed you both and now he lies in this state because of me.”

“No one could have known -”

“I am sworn to protect him,” he scoffed at himself, “and I have failed. I should be excused from his service and sent into exile.”

“Jeron,” you insisted firmly, “it was not your fault. I know you would do anything to keep him safe if you could. Right now we both need to be strong for him.”

“Yes.”

“Can you...do you know who did this?” you asked quietly as he seemed to tense up, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

“Yes…”

“Who?” you asked quietly and he made a small sound in the back of his throat. You could sense his reluctance to tell you the truth, “Jeron...who did this? Who hurt Oberyn?”

“Your family,” he answered so quietly you almost didn’t hear him. But once you realized what he said you felt like you had been hit in the face with a stone. Your hand went to your chest as you tried to wrap your mind around it, “it was your brother. He attacked him under the cover of night.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Your husband was lying in front of you, on death’s doorstep because of your brother. 

Your world felt like it was slowly crashing down around you. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[imaginarydesires]

Could Have Been ♡

Maxwell Lord x Reader

Warnings: 18+, angst, displayed anger, gets kinda dark and possessive at the end

Summary: Reader tries to convince Maxwell to not steal the Dreamstone by describing the life they could have together.

Reader Characteristics: gender-neutral

Word Count: 800+

Author Notes: I... I don't know why my brain writes sad stuff, y'all // gifs found randomly on google, if they're yours let me know so I can give you credit!

✧

Persuasion was necessary to convince Maxwell to spend time laying in the grass with you while staring up at the glistening stars of the night. Tomorrow was the day he would be stealing the Dreamstone from Barbara, and his mind raced with the possibilities of power he would hold. He laid on his side, looking down at you with a loving expression as his fingers trailed down your stomach.

"Tomorrow is the beginning of our new lives, baby." He placed a sweet kiss against your lips. "I'm going to give you everything you could ever dream of."

"We could get married," you whispered, your voice soft as to not break the tender moment.

"I'm planning on it, baby." He grabbed your hand and brushed his thumb over where your ring would be. "We're going to spend the rest of our lives together."

He imagined coming home to you every day, climbing into bed next the most alluring person in the whole world. He would kiss you every morning and every night until you were both old and wrinkly to remind you each day of his sincere love for you.

"We could buy a house," you continued. "One with a white picket fence and a wrap-around porch."

"I'll buy you any house you want, baby. I'll buy you several houses, anywhere you can think of."

"One with a yard, so we can do this." You motioned to the stars, and leaned up to kiss him.

"We could have a baby," you said once you pulled away. "I think Alistair would like a little brother or sister."

"Or both."

He kissed you again. He wanted to kiss you forever. He imagined it - a big, happy family in a nice big house, decorated with pictures of you and your children. The thought of you pregnant from him made his heart flutter. He would support you while you stayed at home with the kids. He would buy them the best toys, give them the biggest rooms, send them to private school. He would make sure they had everything he did not.

"We could get a pet - a dog or a cat. I think the kids would like that."

He grabbed your face and pressed his forehead to yours, staring at you intently.

"Baby, you can have anything you want. I will give you everything."

"We could have everything."

Your voice broke off as tears welled in your eyes. Maxwell looked at you with a sad, concerned look.

"What is it? Baby, what's wrong?"

You gazed up at the black sky, staring at the shining stars - but even the brightest stars burned out and even the most loving relationships ended.

"We could have everything, but-" you took at deep breath. "Not like this. Not with that stone."

"What?" He pulled away from you, sitting up slightly. "What are you talking about? This stone is going to change our lives."

You sat up, turning towards him fully.

"I don't want to change our lives. I want this. I want you. You've changed ever since you found out about that stupid stone. How much are you going to change once you get it?"

He shook his head irritably, staring up at the stars to avoid your eye contact. "I am doing this for us. I'm doing this for you."

You couldn't suppress the scoff. You felt warm tears fall down your cheek.

"You are not doing this for me. You think sleeping with another woman to get a rock is for me?"

He ran a frazzled hand through his messy hair, his gaze falling to his lap.

"We've talked about this."

"No, you told me about this. There's a difference, Max."

He was disconsolate and trying to calm his indignation, but he couldn't believe your words. Everything he did was to better your life, and you couldn't see that.

"So, what? What are you saying?"

He turned to you finally, his face instantly softening as he saw the tears rolling down your face.

"I'm saying," your voice squeaked and your breath caught in your throat before you could continue. "I can't watch you do this to yourself."

"Don't," he commanded. "Don't do this. Baby, this is for you! Why can't you see that? I want to give you everything. I'm trying to give you everything."

You cupped his cheek gently, his face naturally leaning into your touch.

"You are my everything, Maxwell, but you aren't you with the stone."

He pulled away from you roughly, his hand striking against the grass ground as he shot up into a standing position. He stood with his back to you, his hand running through his hair as he always did when he was angered or anxious. You followed him, standing behind him and reaching your hand out towards his shoulder. He spun around, pointing at you aggressively.

"You're going to see. I'm going to prove that I am doing this for us."

He walked away, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"Maxwell, if you do this, there is no us."

He turned around, his face streaked with tears.

"You're going to see, baby. I'm going to wish you to see."

[mandoalorian]

hey rach! sooo about max birthday requests could you make a love letter from max?👀 lol i know u usually don't write characters' letters but i would combust if u write a max's one🥺 lmao, anyway thank uuu, ily💓

Love letter from Max Lord

Gender neutral reader x Maxwell Lord

Not showing up in the tags so reblogs would be so appreciated<3

The envelope was the only thing in your mailbox that morning. You didn’t pay much attention to mail, it was a bad habit of yours. You took the letter and threw it haphazardly on your coffee table, freezing up when you noticed the handwriting, doted neatly on the front. It was perfect, inked black calligraphy. And you recognised it all too well.

You weren’t sure how long you were frozen to the ground. Maybe three, four, five, ten minutes? It felt like a lifetime as a thousand thoughts raced through your head at one hundred miles per hour. You were overthinking. You were definitely overthinking.

You hadn’t seen him in twenty years. Twenty whole years and not a single utterance was spoken between either of you. You were in your right mind to just shred the letter and throw it in the trash— because what could he possibly want from you?

Maxwell Lorenzano; your childhood best friend. He’d promised you, when he left to embark on his new life, he promised you he’d write, or at least call. And like the lovestruck dumb fool you were, you waited for him. You waited for him your whole life and he never came back to you. So many empty promises, but your heart felt like it might never heal.

After hours of doting, and pacing backwards and forwards, you decided to open the letter. You’d waited this long for him to reach out — and now he finally had.

——————————————————

Dated: July 7th 1984.

My love,

I don’t know if this letter will ever reach you, but I’m writing it anyway. I can only hope you live at the same address. Although I suppose that would also be a real shame, wouldn’t it? I know how much you wanted to leave that hell-hole of a town. It’s a cloudy day in D.C., especially for Summer. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Okay well, I think about you a lot all the time... Do you ever think about me? A lot has happened recently, I’m not sure if you’ve heard...

But I’ve been spending some time reflecting on my mistakes and regrets. I know you always said I should have no regrets but... it’s difficult, you know? Something I need to work on. Maybe you can help me? I never called or wrote to you like I promised I would, all those years ago. And I’m sorry, I really am. The truth is, I spent so much of my time trying to repress my childhood and all the trauma. Tried to focus on other things, bigger things, better things. Wanted to do better. Be better. Be the best. I guess I kind of got lost along the way.

Something happened. Maybe one day I can explain it to you, but there just isn’t enough paper in the world for me to explain it through this letter. It was... unbelievable. A phenomena. And it got me thinking about you.

I miss you. From the moment I left town, I’ve missed you. And it caused me so much pain that I just repressed my feelings. That’s why I didn’t call. I know, I can’t excuse it, and I don’t expect you to forgive me, but it’s the truth.

I’d have these dreams about you... and us... and what we could’ve been if I had never left. Because yes, amidst all my wealth and fortune and success, I still thought about what things would be like if we still lived in the same neighbourhood. Still hung out every night, walking along the river hand in hand and counting the stars above us. It’s funny, there may be distance between us, but every time I look up at the moon, I’m reminded of you and how much you loved it. And I’m comforted in knowing that although we live very different lives, we’re both living underneath the same sky. We both look up and see the same moon.

I wish you could see D.C., it’s wonderful. I think you’d really like it. All the skyscrapers and parks and places to go shopping. It’s nothing like back home.

Shit, I really do miss you. It’s been too long. I think about our final days together. When I kissed you under the big willow tree in your grandmother’s garden. Do you remember? It still haunts me. The perfect taste of your cherry lips and

Did you ever marry? Or settle down? Are you... dating right now? I married, I’m not sure if you heard. We didn’t last long, but I got a son out of it. His name is Alistair and he’s six years old. I’d love for you to meet him, I think you’d both get along really well.

Is my dad

Is my father

Is my father still alive?

I miss you. I want to see you. I need to see you. Hold you. Kiss you again. Please write back and tell me you want to see me too. Please.

I’ve made mistakes, terrible mistakes. But I know never to make the same mistake twice. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me...

Because I still love you. I never stopped, really.

I’m so sorry.

Yours forever, Max.

———————————————

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[mynn-at-night]

I'm really happy that you're writing for Sweet elite, I could ask how Alistair would confess his feelings for the school? Would he ask Tadashi for help? Or some other character? I prefer female readers, but if you want you can do it neutral. Thank you so much, I love Alistair !!!! Ha, and another question, what is your native language? I'm Brazilian, so I don't have English as a native language either.

Hello, I’m sorry this took so long! Thank you so much for requesting me, I’ve been wanting to write about Alistair for a while. It’s a bit short, but I hope you like what I came up with ^^

Oh and I’m French btw!

Sweet Elite: Alistair x Scholar - Confession

It was clear as day that Scholar was disappointed, Alistair could see it in her eyes. The problem is, he doesn’t understand why. The way her smile faltered while they were talking made his heart ache. Did he say something that could upset her? Alistair replays their earlier conversation in his mind as he makes his way toward the dorms. Maybe Tadashi can help him figure this out.

“Really? You want my advice about a social interaction that went wrong?”

“Well, I know it’s not exactly your area of expertise, but I’m really worried here. At least hear me out?”

“Okay, sure. I’m listening.”

When the athlete is done telling the entire story, his roommate can’t help but sigh.

“Scholar, your crush, asks you if you want to get dinner together on the weekend, and you tell her you’ll bring me along?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Seriously, Al. Even I know she was asking you on a date. Now she probably thinks you rejected her.”

“A date?!”

The athlete widens his eyes in confusion.

“I don’t know why it’s so shocking. You two are always flirting under my nose, it was about time one of you did something to get things moving.”

“But I still don’t get it. Surely she knows by now that I have feelings for her. I already told her how important she is to me. We’re always spending time together. I even hug her whenever I have a chance!”

Tadashi scoffs.

“Trust me, we all noticed that.”

Alistair feels the heat rise up to his face and half-heartedly punches his friend in the arm, the both of them laughing.

“Anyway,” Tadashi resumes, “my point is, maybe it’s time to be more straightforward. Make it crystal clear that you see her as more than a friend. What others think is not always obvious to everyone, I would know that much.”

“I think you’re right. Thanks, man!”

The athlete practically bolts out of the room, looking for Scholar. He goes to knock on her dorm’s door, but there’s no answer. He jogs a bit around the school until he finds her sitting on a bench in the garden, alone. She doesn’t hear him coming as he timidly places a hand on her shoulder. She jumps a little, clearly lost in her thoughts. Her eyes meet his for a second, but she quickly averts them.

“Oh, hey, it’s you.”

She stands up and gives him a small smile, but he can see that something is still bothering her.

“I would like to talk to you about something, if it’s okay with you?”

“Yes, of course. Is there something wrong?”

Scholar looks up at him expectantly, and something suddenly dawns on him. In his hurry to clear up the misunderstanding, he hasn’t even thought about how he’s going to confess his feelings. What are the right words to say? He runs a hand through his hair, fidgeting a little. He really, really doesn’t want to mess this up. Suddenly, he’s pulled out of his thoughts by Scholar’s fingertips brushing the back of his hand. She’s watching him with a genuinely worried expression that makes all of his doubts melt away. He gently takes her hands in his, looking right into her eyes.

“What’s going on? Why are you acting so serious? I’m starting to be scared.”

“Scholar, you… I’ve cared about you for a while, now, you know that, right?”

“S- Sure, I care about you too.”

He smiles tenderly.

“I think you don’t understand how important you are to me, though. The thing is… I like you. A lot, actually.”

His face must be crimson by now, but he couldn’t care less.

“I- What- For real?!” She exclaims, stammering. “But… I thought… I mean, I know we have grown quite close in the past few months, but since you’re always so kind and warm-hearted, I assumed you might act like this with other people too so I didn’t want to get my hopes up for nothing…”

“Scholar. You’re definitely not like other people. You’re smart, brave, caring, funny, and passionate. When we’re together, I know I can always speak my mind without being judged or made fun of, and that means a lot to me. You’re always here for me when I need it. My day becomes a thousand times brighter if I get to see you smile.”

“Al, you have no idea how happy this makes me. I’ve felt this way about you for so long, it was driving me crazy.”

“I guess I’m going to have to take you on a lot of dates to make up for all that time, then.”

She giggles and buries her face in his chest, hugging him. Alistair tightens his arms around her and plants a long, tender kiss on top of her forehead. He just can’t seem to stop beaming. Finally confessing his feelings was by far the best decision he made this year.

[ratonnhhaketon]

Full Writing Masterpost

Full Archive of Our Own Works  &  Full Tumblr Works

~ FANFICTIONS ~

- Assassin’s Creed

Revenge Is A Fool’s Game (Connor Kenway x Original Female Character) (Ao3 or Tumblr) 

Born to two Assassins in the Colonial Brotherhood, Eleanor Price was destined for great things. That is, until the disaster at the Davenport Homestead leaves her family in hiding and her parents’ pasts long forgotten. She is determined to find and kill the men responsible for her father’s death, no matter the cost. Revenge may be a fool’s game, but Ellie plays to win. And the prize might just be a blossoming relationship with the boy training alongside her.

- Marvel

Still Breathing (Bucky Barnes x Original Female Character) (Ao3 or Tumblr) (Masterpost)

Six months after the defeat of Thanos, the world is still in chaos. The threat of the Flag Smashers combined with the new headstrong Captain America means it's time for Valencia Zicari to help save the world one more time. But, in doing so, she also has to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship.

- Red Dead Redemption 2

See The Fire In Your Eyes (Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character) (Ao3 or Tumblr) (Masterpost)

Catherine Hays grew up in a picture-perfect, high society family in Virginia. She had her whole life planned out for her and was about to get married to a man she could not stand. When her brother uncovers a murder plot and has to pay with his own life, Catherine decides she can’t continue playing along. She takes control of her own destiny and goes south to a pretty little town called Blackwater.

~ ONE SHOTS ~

- Apex Legends

It’s Always Been You (Bloodhound x Gender Neutral Reader) (Ao3 or Tumblr)

- Assassin’s Creed

Give Me Love (Connor Kenway x Original Female Character) (Ao3)

Death Doesn’t Discriminate Between the Sinners and the Saints (Connor Kenway x Original Female Character) (Ao3)

- Dragon Age

Wait For Me to Come Home (Alistair Theirin x Female Cousland) (Ao3 or Tumblr)

- Mass Effect

I’m Scared (Kaidan Alenko x Female Shepard) (Ao3 or Tumblr)

Now That It’s Over (Kaidan Alenko x Female Shepard) (Ao3 or Tumblr)

- Overwatch

Old Shadows and New Beginnings (Gabriel Reyes x Female Reader) (Ao3)

~ DRABBLES ~

- Assassin’s Creed

Frye Twins Training Sessions (Frye Twins - NO ROMANCE) (Ao3)

I Happen to be Saving Your Arse (Frye Twins - NO ROMANCE ) (Tumblr)

Secret Hidden Talents (Frye Twins - NO ROMANCE) (Tumblr)

One Rainy Night (Connor Kenway x Female Original Character) (Ao3 or Tumblr)

Snowflake On Your Nose (Connor Kenway x Female Original Character) (Tumblr)

Things You Said When You Thought I Was Asleep (Connor Kenway x Original Character) (Tumblr)

- Dragon Age

Keep Your Eyes On Me (Cullen Rutherford x Female Trevelyan) (Ao3 or Tumblr)

Helpless (Dorian Pavus x Male Trevelyan) (Ao3)

- Mass Effect

Things You Didn’t Say At All (Kaidan Alenko x Female Shepard) (Tumblr)

You’d be a Sexy Pirate (Kaidan Alenko x Female Shepard) (Tumblr)

[thoughtslikeaminefield]

Seasons

I Bleed When I Fall Down (Autumn)

Summary: He answers her beck and call. Set in s4, right after Dean is back from Hell.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female reader

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, angst, mentions non-con unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, mentions Plan B, blood, ectopic pregnancy, emergency surgery, miscarriage

Words: 3k

Author’s notes: This is based on the lyric “You build me up and then I fall apart” from Christina Perri’s song, Human, for @negans-lucille-tblr 2K Followers Writing Challenge.

The mushrooms and bear line is from Angel: the Series spoken by Faith Lehane about a drug-induced trip she and Angel took together.

All The White Horses (winter 2011 - s6) | Mirror In The Sky (spring 2001 - pre-show) |  We Can Spin The Sun Around (summer 2016 - s12)

Please come.

The last time he saw her, she was angry – at him, life, God, the devil. She told him to leave, to just “go ahead and go to Hell, then.” That was six months ago.

Now, she’s pleading for him to come to her. She said she was sorry and that she needs him. He doesn’t know why, and he doesn’t care, he just goes.

When she opens the door to her mountainside loft, he sees that she’s been crying. She’s pale and shaking. He’s seen her cry. He’s felt her in pain and ire. He’s felt her love and forgiveness, but Dean hasn’t felt anything of her in so long that he’s warmed to his depth by her nearness and heavy with guilt over whatever it is that is troubling her.

He doesn’t say a word; he just walks in, wraps his arms around her, and kicks the door shut behind himself. He inhales her familiar clean honey scent, hums and coos against the top of her damp head. She’s so small – he forgot how small she is.

“What is it?” he asks, pressing a kiss to her temple, his shredded soul knitting back right in her presence.

She sniffles, rubs her face into the soft cotton of his t-shirt. She hesitates, shifts in his arms, and her breath stutters. What she says next stops all forward progression since she opened the door.

“I’m pregnant.”

Her voice is low and defeated, socking and twisting his gut and his heart. His head starts to throb, and he pulls her in tighter, arches over her. He is without words; all he has is his body to shield her.

“Don’t hate me,” she whispers. “I need you right now.”

He can barely hear her, but he hears enough.

“Never,” he says, finally pushing away from her enough to look her in the eye, training his face to soften, to comfort. “I could never.”

~~~~~~~

“He was in town for a festival,” she speaks quietly, leaning back against Dean’s chest in the corner of her cozy sectional couch, threading her fingers with his as he holds her. “Visiting relatives from over the pass.”

Dean tries to keep his posture neutral, so she doesn’t feel his tension as he braces himself for details he doesn’t want to hear.

“He was nothing like you, and I just,” she draws a breath and sighs. “I thought I could forget for just one weekend.”

They’ve never claimed monogamy but hearing her tell the story of this douchebag... Dean’s challenged in a way he’s very rarely challenged.

“It’s OK,” he mutters, brushing kisses over her pale cheek and jaw.

“It’s not,” she begins to sob. “Like I said, he was nothing like you. And I didn’t…” She clears her throat.

Dean hugs her closer and rests his head on the top of hers.

“I was blinded by how ordinary he was,” she continues. “I couldn’t see that he was awful underneath that blonde hair, blue-eyed, All-American Boy façade.”

Dean freezes. “What do you mean awful?”

“I told him we had to use a condom, but he didn’t listen,” she answers, her tears dropping to Dean’s wrists and hands. “Or, maybe he did, I dunno, but he didn’t care.”

“Sonuvabitch,” Dean grits, the room vibrating in his vision. He hears the man’s cries in his head. He remembers all the things Alistair taught him and how easy it would be to break a human.

She pushes out of Dean’s embrace, sits up between his sprawled legs and twists to face him. “Don’t,” she whispers, her face stained with salty tears. “Don’t go there. I know you wanna kill him, but that’s not how this’s gonna work.”

Dean shakes his head to refocus and pulls her in again. “He lied and took advantage of you,” he says. “Motherfucker deserves to be shot.”

“It’s too late for that, Dean,” she says, tired and sad. “The damage’s been done. I was drunk and stupid-”

“So fucking what?!?” Dean says, starting to get up out of the corner of the couch. She pushes him back in place, slots her knees on either side of his hips. “He had no right.”

“Dean.” She presses her palms over his chest to calm him, and it works.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Dean says, apologizing for his outburst and for the fucking asshole who hurt her. He makes the effort to do what she’s asked, to just be there for her in the moment.

Once he’s settled under her, she continues. “I didn’t notice any of the signs until the next morning when I woke up alone, went to the doctor for Plan B and antibiotics,” she says, irony and bitterness coloring her tone. “I thought I did all the right things.”

“You did,” Dean answers, his rage at a simmer. “You did everything you’re supposed to do when someone…”

She takes his face in her hands and kisses him. “I’ve been through the stages with this,” she says, and Dean sees the strong, nurturing girl he’s loved for so long unfurl in his lap. “I called you because I wanted you here with me, and maybe that’s selfish. But until now, I didn’t know what to do.”

Dean runs his hands up her thighs and around her hips. “And what’s that?” he asks.

“I can’t keep this baby,” she answers, and Dean’s stomach drops. “I thought maybe if you stayed and we... but, no. I can’t because it’s wrong to expect that from you. And I can’t because it isn’t yours.”

Dean’s skin ripples with goosebumps. What if it were his, though? he wants to ask. In another life, this would all be different.

“I know you need to feel this,” she says, smoothing a fingertip across his forehead like he likes. “You need to process it, but please know that just you being here has turned everything around for me.” She smiles through the remaining wetness brimming her eyes.

“OK,” he kisses her once, soft and slow. “I’ll do whatever you need, I’m here now.”

“I know,” she says, settling back and laying her head over his heart. “God, I felt such despair for losing you.” Tears flow over her cheeks once more, soaking his t-shirt. “Guilt for telling you just to go, and then- you were so far away when I was with him. I thought I could forget or make it easier, but it just hurt more.”

“Shh...” Dean pulls her up for a kiss – a real one, lips on lips and tongues sliding urgently. “That’s enough,” he murmurs into her, sliding his hands into her hair and under her top.

He needs to do something - to take action and rid them of the misery hanging over them.

“I’m gonna make it all better,” he says, pulling at her clothes, tucking her under him on the couch, infusing warmth and solace into every kiss and touch.

She unravels under him, and together they spin a cocoon of safety and acceptance that only they can create. Dean’s missed this most of all - who they are when they’re together.

“Please,” she says, running her hands everywhere over the skin she can touch and taste. “Missed you so much.”

He shifts down and down, touches her light but steadfast. His fingers gently open her, stroke the length of her dampening folds, and up to circle her clit.

He breathes her in. “Missed you, too,” he says, placing kisses to the insides of her thighs, trailing toward her increasingly wet center.

As his tongue swipes through her slick, she arches off the couch and grips his hair. He settles deep, wraps his arms around her hips and pulls her in. He doesn’t think, he just does. When he’s with her, he can do no wrong.

As she writhes and keens under him, he sets about doing his level best to erase that whitebread asshole from her life forever.

~~~~~~~

Sunrise is imminent, casting blue and grey through the windows and onto her bright, white linens. Dean’s senses are piqued by sounds of distress and a sharp, metallic scent. He reaches for her and his hand lands in vacant cold, sticky, and damp.

He jerks fully awake and sits up. There’s a dark puddle and smears of red on the sheets and comforter. Then he hears her sobbing and his eyes dart to the bathroom where the light spills under the door.

“Dean,” she sobs through her tears. In a fraction of a second, before his name has fully fallen from her quivering lips, he’s moving through the open bathroom door to find her in the empty tub, bleeding from between her legs and shaking, paler than ever.

“Honey.” He grabs a plush bath sheet as he rushes to her, checks her pulse, and wraps her in the soft cotton. “I’m taking you to the ER,” he says and she nods reaching for and squeezing one of his wrists. “Be right back, just gotta throw some clothes on, ok?”

He smiles as warm as he can get then nods and runs to make quick work of his clothes and boots, not bothering with laces or buttons.

Did he do this? He just knows that he hurt her.

When he makes it back to the bathroom, she’s pushing herself to stand and he meets her before she can climb out of the tub.

“Alright, I gotchu,” he says, tucking her tightly in the towel tightly and lifting her to carry her to his car. “Just stay with me,” he says, carefully taking one stair at a time once they’re outside.

She buries her face in his chest and cries. They reach the car and Dean gently places her on the front seat then slams the passenger door before running around to the driver’s side.

The drive to the hospital is mere minutes, but he feels like it’s forever. He keeps one hand on her and one on the wheel, speaking quietly to her about everything being OK, even though he feels like his world is closing in on him. Finally, he screeches to a halt in front of the ER, kills the engine, and flies out of the driver’s seat, yanks the passenger door open and hauls her out and into his arms.

Deans bursts through the ER doors, shouting. “She’s unconscious and bleeding - and she’s pregnant.”

Before he can say another word, there’s a gurney and staff carting her off. The fluorescent lights buzz in his ears as a nurse approaches him. He can still see a sliver of her leg and ankle through the curtain they’ve drawn.

“Do you know her blood type?” the man asks.

Dean shakes his head. “Just take mine,” he says. “I’m O, anybody can use that.”

The nurse is quiet as he taps the screen of the pad in his hand with information. He tries to guide Dean to a seating area, but Dean resists. “I need to see her!”

“We’ve got her,” the man says, and Dean takes note of the nurse’s name tag.

Rob is unruffled and earnest. Something about him is familiar. His tone and his presence appease Dean’s nerves enough that Dean gives in and follows Rob’s lead.

“OK,” Dean says, backing up and finding the section of chairs for guests.

“I’ll be right back,” Rob assures Dean before disappearing behind the curtain.

Dean texts Sam. He lies and tells him he caught another case in Colorado. He tells his little brother that he met up with a mutual hunter and that he’ll be in touch and not to worry. In reality, Dean should be worried about leaving his psychic-powered brother alone, but he makes the choice to be there for her right now.

Dean paces the floor as time drags. He can’t see her and it’s killing him. Better late than never, Rob emerges with hope in his stride.

“So?” Dean says, idling in front of the nurse.

“She’s stable,” Rob answers. “They’ve stopped the bleeding for now, but she’s going into surgery.”

Dean deflates and drags a hand over his face. “What kinda surgery?” he asks, pain clear to even himself in his tight voice.

Rob’s face softens. “It’s an ectopic pregnancy,” he begins.

Dean’s heard of it but doesn’t know what it is. It sounds terrible. His lack of knowledge must be apparent because Rob continues.

“The embryo implanted in and ruptured one of her fallopian tubes,” Rob explains. “Resulting in internal bleeding and infection, which has spread rapidly and widely. They have to perform an emergency hysterectomy. How was she feeling yesterday?”

Dean swallowed his tears and anger. How could he have sex with her and not know?

“She was upset,” Dean answers, feeling remorse like a blanket of lead settle over him. “She… we hadn’t seen each other in a while and…”

“It’s OK,” Rob says, gripping Dean’s shoulder. “There’s nothing you did wrong or could’ve done to stop this. But she’s a fighter, she’ll make it through this.”

Dean feels tears prick his eyes and bile rise in his throat. Every ounce of pride he had, every sense of accomplishment for comforting and righting her drains from his body.

“C’mon,” Rob says, ignoring Dean’s hesitation and pulling him toward the curtain. “She wants to see you.”

“Is she-”

“She’s awake for a few more minutes,” Rob confirms. “Make it quick, Dean – I’m not supposed to have you back here.”

Dean’s surprised that Rob knows his name. He figures she must’ve told Rob when she asked to see him.

“Dean,” she whispers, relief in her eyes and tone as she reaches for him.

“Hey,” he replies, just as softly, taking her hand.

“Hey,” she smiles and sighs. “I don’t have a lot of time, but…” She swallows and grips his hand in hers. “I need you to know something. I need you to know that I want you. I’m never happier or more fulfilled than when you’re here with me.”

“Honey,” Dean starts. “You need to rest, your surgery-”

“Let me finish,” she breathes. “I’m happy with you, Dean – and I’m desperate without you.”

Dean feels tears fall over his cheeks. “You shouldn’t be sayin’ any of this.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t care anymore about normal,” she continues, determination and fire in her eyes. “I just wanna be happy, and I don’t wanna be depressed for weeks every time you leave.”

“Then I won’t come back,” Dean says. “I’ll leave for good this time.”

“No, Dean!”

He’s taken aback by her vehemence. Rob appears in Dean’s peripheral vision and motions to Dean that it’s time to go.

“No,” she repeats, pulling his attention back to her. “You can’t control this or fix this. You can’t make a deal and you can’t cast a spell – I won’t let you do that to me or us.”

Silence hangs in the air as Dean processes how she so handily disarmed the very beginnings of his plan. Without deals or magic, what does he have, though? And…

“Is there an us?” he asks.

“I hope so,” she answers.

“Time to go, Dean,” Rob says. “She’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean says before gently kissing her knuckles and setting her hand at her side. Her lashes flutter closed as the staff hurries around him to roll her off to surgery.

~~~~~~~

Dean waits hours alone for her. He questions everything. He thinks about leaving a dozen times, but she asked him to be here and he can’t leave her like this.

Then Rob sneaks Dean into her room just as she wakes.

“Mornin’, princess,” Dean says, easing beside her on the bed.

“Ugh,” she grunts then mutters, “I feel like I did mushrooms and got eaten by a bear.” Dean chuckles as he fluffs her pillows and generally fusses over her.

“Well, Rob said you’re a champ, so good on you.”

She scrunches her brow. “Rob?” she asks. “Dean, stop with the pillows, ok.”

“Your nurse friend,” Dean says, shrugging and reluctantly pulling away from trying to make her comfortable.

She shakes her head. “I don’t know anyone named Rob.”

Dean blinks then looks over his shoulder. A cool, light breeze in the still room sweeps over him.

Angel? Reaper?

Dean doesn’t know what’s what anymore. He spends so much time reacting that he can barely think. There was just something about that guy... but she’s safe and healthy and alive in front of him.

“… anyway,” she says. Dean’s missed some of what she’s said, but he knows what she’s talking about. “We can’t play fast and loose anymore,” she continues. “I can’t; it almost killed me.”

Dean sighs. “I never wanna see you hurting again,” he says. “I want everything good for you. But that ain’t me.”

His declaration is half-hearted. This girl - now woman - has spent eight years buried in his heart. She’s been patient, loving, kind, and consistent. She’s always honest with him. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was made for him somehow.

“How ‘bout you let me decide what’s good for me?” she says, challenging him once again. “I know you, Dean, and you know me. I’m not asking you to stay; I’m asking you to keep coming back.”

Dean watches her, skeptical of his ability to be ‘good.’ “I don’t deserve you,” he says.

“You do,” she asserts. “And I deserve you.”

Dean lets go a heavy sigh and basks in the turn of events. This will forever change them, he knows that.

“Look at me,” she says, and he does. “Take your time, Dean, but we’re it. We’re endgame. I’ll be here when you come back.”

Dean smiles and dips in to kiss her. If she won’t let him out on his word, he’s going to have to work to earn the love and respect she insists on giving him.

If you like what you’ve read, please let me know and/or buy me a coffee!