#alice would do this too let’s be perfectly honest here

[melancholypolywog]

so here’s a thing that timothy stoker definitely has done.

inspired by this post by @mikasnazz

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XV

Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

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Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Because I wasn't satisfied with the last chapter I decided to post the next one right now. I’m so excited about your thoughts because the plot is finally beginning !  I can’t wait to hear about your theories. 

“ It makes your boobs look ugly, another one please !”

You were being tugged behind the curtain already being undressed to put on another dress. Today you were with Alice, in one of the most expensive shops of all New Orleans, to find your wedding dress. It was an exciting, amusing and stressful experience. Alice was being, as usual, honest about the dress you have been trying for almost an hour. 

“ Alice, how many more dresses do I need to try? You know we still don’t have a date for the wedding? Alastor’s father is still missing.”

“ What about it? His loss if he misses the wedding. Now, I think I’ve found the perfect dress for you~!” 

You laughed behind the curtain. Alice didn’t even know Alastor’s father, she never met him but you have told her once that you didn’t feel comfortable with him and she decided that she would hate him until the end of time. You looked at the dresses you have been trying, a part of you was happy to be here with your best friend and yet you wondered…Were you selfish? You knew Alice was in love with Alyzée but they couldn’t get wed to each other… Were you hurting Alice without being aware of it?

“ Alice–?”

“ This one. This one will fit perfectly your waist, your legs, your shoulder, your chest. For heaven’s sake, I’m the best.” she said looking at her nails. Why were your best friend and your future husband so full of themselves while you were always insecure ! “ Come on, try this one.”

“ Alice.. I’m.. You’re okay?” you asked, taking the dresses off her hands.

“ Yes? Well, I’m still shocked about what you told me about John, but you know what we say, we don’t keep trash around us.”

“ Who is “we”?”

“ Me, Myself and I. Now, try the dress, doll ! I’ll find the shoes!” you laughed as you watched her running away. You sighed with a smile, you were surrounded by amazing people, you should try to be more sure about yourself.

The workers from the stores helped you put on the dress and your shoes. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You felt.. pretty. Really pretty. You smiled at yourself, moving the pans of the dress, loving the movement it was doing.

“ Can I see?”

“ Of course Alice.” you turned around. Since you could remember, Alice always knew how to dress you up. From her Christmas’s Eve’s soirée where she had found that beautiful dress from today, she would always come with outfits from other countries, always being new, unique, something Alastor scoffed most of the time. He was always saying that Alice was running toward the future without being aware of her surroundings. And Alice was always saying that Alastor needed to shut up because he was lucky to look good in anything.

“ Oh my Lord. You look ravishing, my friend!” she clapped her hands together, her eyes whelming up a bit. “ Oh God… I’m… I’m so proud of you.”

“ I haven’t done anything yet.” you laughed nervously.

“ Take the compliment for once. So, what do you think? I , personally, think it’s the perfect dress for you. But what do you think?”

“ This is my favorite too. but the price–”

“ Let me buy it.” you opened your mouth, ready to complain but Alice stopped you with her hand.” I know, I know, you’ve never liked me paying stuff for you, expensive things mostly. But please, just this one, let me buy it. I… The next time I go into this kind of shop might be for my own wedding, which won’t be filled with laughter and love like we just did. It might be selfish, but just.. I want this moment. I’m sorry–”

“ Okay.” you smiled, almost moved to tears by her comment “ But Alice, for your wedding, no matter with who, I’ll be there. There will be laughter and love, because you won’t be alone in this.”

You saw Alice nodded, wiping some tears from her eyes. You looked at her, your best friend might never be married to the one she loved, but you will never let her feel loveless. 

You took off the dress, as Alice went to pay in cash. You joined her once you were dressed with your own clothes and you both walked toward her place. You saluted the butler, who bowed to you.

You both sat down in the huge living room, sighing in relief. You took off your heels, your feet were killing you. 

“ By the way, if we need to find Alastor’s father to be able to have your wedding, do you want me to… pull a few strings for you? I could call the best of the best!”

“ No, no. I won’t lie, the fact that he is missing isn’t… bothering me.”

“ I’ll cheer for that. “ she winked at you before asking for wine. You laughed, she always loved Rosé. It wasn’t very strong in alcohol, it had a very good taste but when the alcohol hitted. Dear lord…

You didn’t drink too much, you had to walk back home yourself after all. You smiled when you saw Alice put on Alastor's broadcast even though she was rolling her eyes at the radio sometimes.

“ Are you hearing him? Gosh. I knew you when your voice was cracking, Alastor !” she shouted at the radio.

“ Alastor voice never–”

“ A woman can dream, dear. Gosh, now I hear his voice anywhere I’m going.”

You laughed behind your glass. Alastor was gaining popularity surprisingly quickly, which was good of course. It was the best outcome you could imagine.

“ Now, about my cottage.”

“ Alice, we told you we don’t have the money and you just bought me my wedding dress.”

“ Who is “we” my dear?”

“ Me, Myself and I.” You stuck your tongue at her, making her laugh. Alice was a girl ahead of her time with her manners and way of talking, she always felt like a breeze of fresh air. 

“ Well, if you all say so.” She took a sip of a drink before looking at the door, her father making his entrance. You stood up as the big man smiled at you, he always has been nice, never raising his voice, always wanting what’s best for Alice.

“ Oh, good afternoon ladies. Alice, I just wanted to tell you that you might have a date with the son of the–”

“ Yes Daddy, I know, don’t worry I’ll go.” she said, looking away. You saw her father smile sadly before leaving after giving you both candy you used to like when you were younger. You looked at her, worried. Was she going to be okay? “ Don’t look at me like that Doll. It’s going to be the same as usual, I’m going there, bat my pretty eyes and at the end, I’ll just say to Daddy that the man wasn’t what we needed for the family.”

“ How long do you think you can keep this game going?”

She stared at the large windows in silence. Alice was just like a bird in a cage, she felt like freedom, but would never taste it for herself.

“ As long as I can.”

You stayed with her until the sun was setting down. The maid took her to her bedroom as she was sleeping on the sofa. Seems like going on another date was getting harder and harder for her. Was Alyzée aware of it? You sighed as you gave your goodbye, before walking out of the mansion. 

You decided to go into a park, walking between the trees. There weren’t a lot of people outside, even though we were in March, the weather was still cold. You stopped when you saw an old man fall not too far from you.

“ Oh sir! Are you alright, let me help you!” you said as you took the cane that had fallen from his hand. You helped him sitting down on a nearby bench. 

“ Oh, thank you little lady.”

The man was tall, black with brown eyes, a white beard, he was wearing a hat, helding on his cane, he seemed like he had injured his leg.

“ Do you want me to take a look at your leg? I’m no nurse, but I used to help my father when he came back from war.”

“ Ahh, war. You don’t need to take care of me, little lady.” he smiled warmly at you. “ You look sad yourself, do you need to talk about it with an old man?”

You looked at him, he felt so warm and he was… cute. His aura was gentle, cute like a kid that wanted to learn something new. You haven’t seen your grandfather since he died during the war, you haven’t had the strength to go back to your old country to go to his grave so… Maybe why not indulge yourself and talk with this man?

“ I’m… I want to help a friend, she is in love but can’t marry that person.”

“ Aah, love. And why can’t she?”

“ She had to marry someone from “noble blood”.” you sighed, rolling your eyes. It was bullshit. “ She has no choice.”

“ Mhn… I think she does, little lady. We always have a choice, when you think you don’t have one, it’s because you already made up your mind. “ he smiled at you with eyes that held so much wisdom. 

“ But… What if the other choices are more dangerous?” you asked, feeling like you weren’t talking about Alice anymore.

“ Well, little lady. What would you do?” 

You stopped talking. You killed to be with the one you wanted. You had a choice and yet..

“ Are you unhappy with the choices you made?” 

“ No, but I’m afraid of what it will bring at my door.”

“ Aah.. Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait.”

“ What?”

“ You will see, little lady. Your friend is maybe so blinded by what she has to do that she can’t see what she could do. Love is the deadliest poison and yet the sweetest remedy in the world. She should try to think for herself, don’t you think? Would you rather live your whole life in misery or be happy for a short time of your existence? The difference between existing and living is thin, little lady, but it exists.” he nodded before looking at the sky, seeming lost in thoughts. 

You stared at this mysterious man. He seemed to be around 60, maybe that is why he seemed so wise. You looked at the sky and gasped when you saw the moon in the sky. It was already dark!

“ Oh, I need to go!” you stood up but before leaving you took the candy from Alice’s father. You smiled at the man, placing the candy in his veiny hands. “ Thank you for that useful advice.” You beamed at him as he looked curiously at the candy before smiling at you. “ Maybe we’ll see each other one day again !”

“ May our ways cross again if needed, little lady, may our ways cross…”

You ran back home, feeling better than when you left Alice’s house. You walked inside and saw your father with Jeff in the living room. They were still trying to understand how Alastor’s father could have disappeared like this. You smiled at the men, walking toward them.

“ Nothing news?”

“ No, my sweet daughter. We are trying, but from the moment he left the bar he wasn’t seen anymore.”

“ I’m sure the wife was having an affair and decided to kill the husband. Classic scenarios.”

“ And how could she have done that?” you sat on the sofa, staring at Jeff with an innocent smile. You almost smirked when you saw him puffing his chest, feeling so much pride in vomiting all the information he should kept away from you.

“ The man came home, drunk. She could easily poison him, hide the body somewhere and end the story.”

“ Mhn… But without a body, you don’t know. What if he was the one having an affair and ran away? From what I understood, he seemed to be someone who drank a lot, maybe he was being ambushed in an alley because we know for a fact he never made it back home.” you smiled at him, your father smiling with pride by your side.

“ That what they say but–”

“ No, that’s what we said. I was there. I’ve never seen this man come back home.” you stared at him down. He shut his mouth. “ You see, I really want to get married and the fact that you are trying to put the blame on my future family in law is getting on my nerves. So please, do me, us, a favor, find out what happened. And if you are unable to, just give up.” you looked at your father. “ I don’t want to wait forever, I want to get married.”

Your father stared at you before kissing your forehead.

“ Alright sweetie, we have a new man who’ll help us in this case. I’ll give him three months, if he doesn’t find anything, I will close the case and we will concentrate on your wedding.” you hugged your father with a happy grin. Finally! 

You bid your goodbye before going into your bedroom, getting ready to go to bed. You listened to the noises downstairs, waiting for Jeff to go and your father to go to bed.

You were concentrating so much on trying to hear what was going downstairs that you didn’t notice the shadows behind you. You almost shouted as a gloved hand fell upon your mouth, muffling your screams. 

“ You’re such an easy prey, dearest.”

You sighed in relief as you closed your eyes. Alastor was really the quietest being you have ever met, which was surprising when he was the noisiest man on the radio.

You turned your head toward him, looking at his mocking smile. He was so full of himself. You bit his finger before letting it go, going for a hug. He hummed against you.

“ How did you come here?”

“ Well, the windows, dear.” 

You scoffed before forcing him to sit on your bed. You sat on his lap and took his hand with yours, playing with his fingers.

“ I have my wedding dress.” you smirked when you felt his whole body tensed underneath you. “ And you won’t see it, because I left it at Alice’s.”

“ Do you really need Alice in your life, dearest?” asked Alastor with an amused voice.

“ Yes! Come on Alastor, be honest with me, you enjoy Alice’s company?”

“ Hah ! I enjoy Alice’s contacts nothing more.” he rolled his eyes, pressing you against his body. “ She is useful and she can be amusing, when she is having problems.” he smirked at you, making you slap his shoulder, trying to contain your laughter. He was such a…

“ Well, I have some news on your father’s case, my dear future husband.” you smiled as you explained what happened with Jeff. You couldn’t help but grin when you saw Alastor beaming with pride as he listen to what you have told the policeman.

“ My, my… So, they think my Mother did it?”

“ For now, we know that we have three months until we are completely free of it.”

“ Have you felt it again?”

You tilted your head.

“ What?”

“ The need to kill.” he asked you, gripping your waist, pressing your body against his. You felt lightheaded.

“ N-N.. Well… I thought for a second.. to kill John.” you saw Alastor’s pupils dilated as he stared at you before kissing your neck. You tilted your head to give him more room.

“ Mhn, interesting, go on, why?”

“ Because he was bad mouthing you.” you tried to contain the anger in your voice, you didn’t want to wake up your parents. “ Who does he think he is?” you rolled your eyes, you were still hurt about what John has said but now you weren’t feeling sadness over it, only anger.

“ Would you like to kill him?”

You looked at Alastor who had his chin against your chest, looking at you in a way too innocent face for the conversation you were having.

“ Alastor, we can’t. There would be too much suspicion on us, we already have your father’s disappearance on us, if we kill John–” he kissed you feverishly making you sigh in the kiss. Oh, how you loved the feeling of Alastor’s lips against yours.

“ Do you hear yourself, darling?” he smiled against your lips. “ In your mind, you are already ready to kill him… ” he sighed against your skin. You stared at him, stroking his cheeks. You wanted to see the Alastor you had seen the first time you killed.

 The difference between existing and living is thin, little lady, but it exists.

You kissed Alastor on the nose, with an excited smile.

“ Not now.”

You fell asleep with new marks on your thighs and your neck. When you woke up the next morning, you were already smiling.

You stayed with your mother all morning, spending time with her until you decided to go to Alice’s. You didn’t know when her date was supposed to be, but if you could help her morally before she had to leave, it would be great. You took some pancakes you’ve made and walked toward her mansion, the butler let you enter, escorting you to the living room.

“ Miss Alice shall be here soon.”

You nodded before sitting on the sofa. You put the pancakes on the table and wait until you hear the familiar footsteps of your best friend. You turned your head and smiled at her, as usual, she was beautiful. 

“ Hello Alice.” you stood up and you both hugged each other. She sat next to you, holding her head in her hand. “ Mhn, the wine doesn’t taste good the day after, right?” you laughed as she groaned.

“ Please, not so loud…”

“ What a hangover.” you whispered, mockingly. She stuck her tongue at you before digging into your pancakes. “ Well, someone is hungry.”

“ I don’t want this man to think he has a chance with me because I seem eager to eat.” 

You smiled, crossing your legs. You told Alice that you needed to wait three more months before finally concentrating on your wedding. You laughed as she let out a sigh of pure relief.

“ Thank God, since when do we stop living because a man disappeared.” she rolled her eyes before eating the last pancake. You look at the butler who came to announce Alice’s date. And like an actress, Alice put on the fakest smile she could conjure, Alastor would be proud. You stood up as a man, looking around 40 came into the living room, he was sweating so much you could see sweat pearling on his forehead.

You gave Alice a look, encouraging her with your eyes before leaving, you even made a face to the butler who nodded at you, with a disgusted face. You laughed before leaving, going out to buy some pastries. You walked to the park, thinking about your weddings. Where should you do it? What about the honeymoons? Did Alastor want children? 

You stopped when you saw the same old man from last time, sitting on the bench, smoking a pipe. You grinned and walked toward him.

“ Hello, sir.”

“ Hello, little lady.”

“ Might I sit a moment with you?”

“ It would be my pleasure. You seem happier than yesterday.”

You smiled as you sat next to the man. You felt safe with him, maybe it was because his aura reminded you of your deceased grandfather..? You didn’t know. You began to talk, mostly about what was going on in your life until you began to talk about your wedding.

“ Mhn, you have quite the ring.” the old man said with a little grin. He didn’t have a ring on his fingers, did he never get married?

“ Yes, in less than three months, I will be able to concentrate on my wedding.”

“ Who is the lucky lad?”

“ If you are listening to the radio you might have heard him, his name is Alastor.”

“ Alastor heh..? Quite a name, quite a name…”

You smiled, happy that Alastor was getting a name to himself. You took your box of pastries and held one for your new friend. He thanked you before eating one éclair au chocolat. You smiled as you kept talking with him, the man mostly listening and giving you wise advice.

“ Being too confident is not a good thing, your insecurity might be a blessing on some occasions.”

“ What do you mean?”

“ Don’t be afraid, to feel afraid. The ones who don’t fear are gods, spirits…”

“ But it’s irrational.” you frowned, how many times you felt jealousy when you didn’t need to be.

“ Yes, but it’s instinctive. Here is some wise advice from an old man: trust your feelings.  Did they ever betray you in the past, when you needed them, little lady?” he looked at you with a warm smile.

You looked at the ground. Your family always told you, you were sensitive, you would easily be overwhelmed by what you were feeling or what was going on around you. 

But when Alastor’s father took the bullets, you didn’t know why, you felt it in your guts that something was going to happen. That’s why you had run outside to find Alastor and that's how you killed his father. 

But then, why did you not feel John’s romantic attention towards you ?

“ People who feel a lot are trying to balance themselves by becoming observant. That way, they feel more grounded, they think they are being rational, which can be good sometimes. But you mustn't discard your feelings, you’ll lose yourself like that. You seem like a sensitive little lady, it’s not bad and it’s not good, that's what you seem to be. Why would you want to be like others, they are already busy being themselves.”

“ So.. I should listen to myself more?”

“ It’s a choice you can make. Feeling emotions is a good thing, it connects you to the rest of the world.” he nodded before looking at the sky, smiling warmly. “ And isn’t it beautiful?”

You stared at the man. He was such an.. intense person in a way. Would he talk to you the same way if he knew you had killed someone and you didn’t feel any kind of remorse?

“ What if… by being connected to the world, I might be a bad person?” you whispered.

“ That’s your choice. For some people you will be a bad person no matter what you do, no matter what you think.” he looked at his cane before eating the rest of his éclair au chocolat. “ Soldiers killed during war, the winners are seen as heroes, and the losers as cold blooded killers. Who is right? They all killed people, they all did horrible things and yet they aren’t seen as the same. Your father have killed during the war, right? What made him different from an enemy soldier?” 

“ Because… he was fighting for what’s…right..?”

“ Who says?” he tilted his head, always having a gentle expression. He wasn’t judging you, he was just curious about your thoughts. 

You couldn’t find an answer to his questions.

You stayed in silence for a moment, thinking about the man’s words. What was strange, was that his words weren't shaking your morals, but it was making you accept them. You had killed, you wanted to kill again, maybe not as strongly as Alastor, but you wouldn’t be opposed to killing again, if it was to protect. You knew it was the difference between you and Alastor, you would kill to protect while you knew Alastor would kill.. Because he wanted to.

And you accepted it, you accepted him, you accepted yourself. 

You would be the wife to a murderer, maybe he would kill again, maybe not. You didn’t really care. You would be by his side, as promised. 

You opened your eyes, feeling lighter. You didn’t expect to feel burdened by all of this, but maybe, the fact that you were trying to make the wedding happen was a way for you not to think about what happened.

You felt better.

You turned your head toward the man who was looking at the people walking in front of you. They weren’t looking at you, just walking, not even caring about you. You smiled.

“ Thank you. I feel… better.”

“ Is it a good thing?” he asked, amused. You grinned.

“ Well, for my own happiness, yes!”

“ Then, everything is good.”

“ I’m going to meet a friend.. But, can I have your name sir?”

The man stared at you with his usual gentle and wise expression. You waited politely, maybe he thought you were being rude, asking his name out of the blues?

“ Legba.”

You bid your goodbye before walking toward Alice’s home. You were going to encourage her to break free from her chains! She didn’t need to marry a sweaty man, she could handle herself perfectly! You entered the mansion, the butler escorting you once again in the living room. Now, you just need to wait!

You opened your eyes, not even realizing you fell asleep when you heard shouting at the front door. You walked toward the entrance and saw Alice and the sweaty gentleman, your friend was shouting at the man, demanding his departure from her house while he was clearly trying to calm Alice.

“ What is going on?”

“ This man is just a filthy pig! Touching me like I’m some kind of harlot.” she was fuming, trying to contain her rage. What did that man do? The man, who didn’t seem sure of himself became more confident, pointing at Alice.

“ Maybe that’s what you are, kissing the mayor’s daughter like this. What a scoop that would be, unless we come to an agreement of course. I think you would make a darling wife Miss Alice. I’ll let you think about it, and if you need more convincing, I have proof. Now, have a great night ladies.”

And just like that, he left.

Alice closed the door before dropping to her knees, breathing heavily. You took her in your arms, looking for a butler or a maid but nobody was around, which was weird. You tried to calm her but she was panicking.

“ He saw us.. He saw us kiss.. Oh lord, what could happen if he were to open his mouth about it.” she was shaking, nipping at her nails. 

You calmly took her hand with yours.

“ Do you have any way to get rid of him?”

She looked at you, seeming torn to speak before sighing.

“ Don’t think I’m a monster but… Most of the richest families have.. people who do their dirty jobs? Sending… assassins or things like that..? I’ve never done that of course, but I feel so trapped right now… Oh, what Alyzée is going to think.”

“ She won’t need to think about it. Use your assassins.” you wondered if you were shocking her. Maybe you were a little too at ease with the idea of killing someone ?

“ No. They would report everything to my father and if they see the proof… My father would know about me and Alyzée.” she sighed, rubbing her face with her hands. You knew it was dangerous, you knew it could backfire but…

“ What about me?”

“ You? What you?”

“ Do you want me to… ?”

Alice stared at you before laughing so hard she was crying. Or was she crying so hard that she was laughing ?You waited for her to calm down before staring at her.

“ Are you serious ?”

“ Seems like she is.”

You both turned around to find Alastor, standing in front of you, the door open.

“ My dear, we don’t talk about taking trash out at the entrance, I taught you better than that.”  he smiled widely at you. Alice was looking at you then at Alastor, seeming confused. You sighed before helping your friend standing up. “ Is there a place we could talk about getting rid of the trash?” asked Alastor with a beaming grin.

Alice seemed to come back to herself, and she tugged you to her father’s office. She locked the door behind Alastor, staring at you. 

“ Explanation ?”

“ Nothing too serious. You’ve been caught in a big scoop Alice, and you need us to clean the mess you’ve made!” you paled, asking Alastor how did he know, did the bastard already told everyone? “ Oh dear, no, but from Alice’s expression, the only things that could make her so upset would be you or her lovely Alyzée. I took a lucky guess.”

“ Alastor, you are… your father… oh… that explains so much.” Alice let herself drop on her father’s chair. “ So, that’s why you didn’t want me to help to look for his father, because he killed him?” asked Alice, looking at you, confused.

“ We killed him.”

“ Of course you did.” she sighed, putting her head on the desk. “ I need.. a fucking glass of whiskey, I’m not having this conversation sober.” She took a bottle from the cabinet before sitting back in front of you. She poured herself after giving you and Alastor a glass. “ So, let me get this through, you both killed Alastor’s father and now you want to kill the man who knows I’m in love with Alyzée?”

“ Well, Alice, for once you made your brain work. I would almost be shedding a tear if I cared.” said Alastor as he sipped his drink. “ And furthermore, this man is a pig that needs to be slaughtered.”

You felt relaxed. You didn’t know why, but the fact that Alastor was referring to the man as a pig made you feel even less remorse than you could have felt.

“ What are you winning from this?”

“ Nothing–”

“ Doll, I know you don’t want to manipulate me. I know. I’m talking about your murderous husband. He wouldn’t help me freely.”

“ Using your brain for the second time? What a day folks ! It’s simple really, you are at the head of one of the richest families in Louisiana. Having you on my side is a plus.”

“ I’m already at your side–!”

“ No Alice, you could be cutting yourself to prove your faith and I would still doubt you. But a crime, that is a win-win situation. The pig is slaughtered, you are free, my darling and myself are doing what we need and everything is back to normal!” exclaimed Alastor with his usual smile.

“ … Fine.” 

As Alice and Alastor were talking about the contract, you felt shivers down your spine. You closed your eyes, trying to comprehend what was happening. You don’t know why but you remembered Legba’s words. You need to trust your instincts. You couldn’t hear Alice and Alastor anymore, you could hear footsteps… You could hear…a shovel digging into the ground.

“ Darling?” 

You gasped as you felt Alastor hand on your shoulder. What just happened ? They both were looking at you, worried.

“ I’m okay.. I just.. I’m okay.” you nodded, feeling extremely tired all of the sudden. “ Alastor… Where is your father's corpse?”

“ Six feet underground.”

“ I think.. I think we should check it out.”

“ Why dig up dirt from the past?”

“ Because I think someone is trying to dig him up.”

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[the-most-faithful]

Agatha All Along 1x05

Ok let's talk about episode 5 of Agatha All Along first thing, WHY ARE THE EPISODES SO FUCKING SHORT??? I physically need at least an hour long episodes.

I was surprised that Agatha's trial has already happened, I almost assumed it would be the last one but it actually feels more realistic this way and it has created a rift in the coven. I'm not really clear on what the purpose of the trial is though. I mean the other two involved the whole coven who would have been saved by collaborating, while this one seems to only serve to abandon Agatha as her mother wants. Was it perhaps a trial to show that the coven needs to learn to trust and not abandon Agatha? It seems a bit strange to me. If they had actually left her would they have failed the trial? Was that the point?

The fact that Rio defends her from her mother after she suggests slitting Agatha's throat is fantastic. In addition to perfectly representing the trope: "No one can hurt you but me" has a deeper implication. By now it is almost confirmed who Rio really is, the fact that she wants to kill Agatha with that peace of mind has no evil in itself, she wants to "collect" her, if you know what I mean. Leaving her to her mother instead would mean condemning her, which Rio does not want to do.

Alice, my little angel, we will miss you. She was the only one who actively tried to save Agatha, even if to be fair even Teen was opposed to abandoning her. Here Agatha was really out of control, she did NOT hurt Alice on purpose but everyone, given her reputation, believes she is guilty. Nothing that really surprises me, but what hurt me was seeing Teen who turned against her so quickly. Sure it is credible, he was becoming fond of Alice who defended him and helped him, but damn after the connection he made with Agatha in the last episode this really hurt. Great point also showing how she has distanced herself a bit from Teen emotionally, it's small details, but it's perfectly in her way of protecting herself emotionally.

When Teen then mentioned Nicholas' name I literally screamed, not to mention the voice of the child begging the mother to stop. Agatha's reaction was incredible, she stopped instantly and turned around as if she expected to see her child. When she realized what she had done she made a move to approach Alice and here I'm sure she wanted to check if she could help her, but Teen pushed her away angrily and this shook her (and I was about to cry)

Rio in the last part seems to have disappeared, I think she was taking care of Alice's body.

And BOOOM the bomb was dropped with "you look like your mother" We all knew who Teen really was, yes I hoped until the very end that it was Nicholas.

But to be honest I rewatched the previous episodes pretending not to know the comics and theories/spoilers and I have to say that I'm pretty sure that the writers structured the series with the intent of making viewers believe that Teen was Nick and in their mind this was supposed to be the Plot Twist. It all makes sense, it's us fans who "ruined" the surprise.

So yes Teen is Billy, now we just have to figure out how, will they keep the story from the comics or change it? But above all HOW DID AGATHA UNDERSTAND THIS?? In the previous episode she said "you don't need to know a person's name to know who he is" I thought it was a way to reassure Teen and maybe unconsciously to show the hope that he was her son but now I doubt this. Did she guess it was Billy? How? And how can I wait another week? I repeat these episodes are too short.

[hemi-demi]

I have a lot of feelings about TMAGP 23, and I gotta let them out. As much as I would love to talk about the amazing statement and the other lovely moments between the cast, I am unfortunately very stuck on one specific part, and not in a good way.

Spoilers below cut:

I'm gonna be perfectly honest, this one hurt me way more than I thought, and I'm worried about my enjoyment of the series.

I truly want to enjoy Protocol for what it is. I've been an Alice defender since day 1, I love her moment with Gwen this episode, I love that Lena seems to be showing a bit more care for her employees. But even with all that, I can't keep doing this with the TMA references.

Look, I've never in my entire 32 goddamn years of living felt like a character in media represented me. Ever. And now I have two. Jon and Martin's relationship feels like seeing parts of myself love each other despite their problems. It's a relationship that resembles the one I have with my partner, and I see a lot of him in Martin especially. Listening to TMA was a wonderful experience because, yes, I knew it was a tragedy and I wish they could have a happy ending, but it was the ending they earned, and they got to go together, and the ambiguity was good enough for me.

I want to enjoy the new writers, the new characters, the focus on alchemy and try to piece together what's happening in the story with everyone else because I missed out on that with having binged TMA after the fact. I cannot do that if they keep taking the corpses of characters I love and dangle them in front of me with the vague hope that they might spring back to life.

But they teased that maybe Jon and Martin can be okay in one reality. I've seen people say they haven't, but between the "Hey, this sounds like them in therapy!" bit, and the Gerry and Gertrude scene, I genuinely believe they did to a degree, even if unintentionally.

Maybe we could have something nice, just one little scrap of "they're happy somewhere else" with the TMAGP versions as a nice cameo. I got my hopes up, hopes I didn't ask for, only to be told "Oh, they never knew each other, and they're dead. If they're happy together in any reality, it sure isn't fuck in this one. The characters you relate to more than anything can never be happy, and you're stupid for thinking that they can ☺️."

This hurts. I feel like I've been stabbed. We were told explicitly this could be enjoyed separately, and that Jon and Martin's ending would be left ambiguous. Unless they pull the rug out from under us and say "Oh, Fr3ddi isn't Jon and Martin at all" (which I've been saying since the beginning. I'm of the "stolen voices" camp and I hope that's what it is, or something else.) then I'm now listening to a show where my favorite characters are suffering, again. And even if they do, the versions in TMAGP are presumably dead anyway.

It's like in fanfiction how you always tag stuff like "Bad endings" or "Major character death". You do that because people have grown attached to these characters and don't always want to watch them suffer again (or do, then you filter by it). The new characters I signed up for hearing their pain and torment, I don't know them yet, and I want to see how their stories play out even if it's painful. But I feel like I'm reading an untagged fanfic right now that is cutting into the original story I did want to listen to.

I want this to be its own thing. I want to care about Alice and Gwen and Sam so when they inevitably die I can feel like I did with TMA again, in a sort of reverent peace with things.

And then chasing that with "Oh, also, Basira and Helen-" just felt like extra salt.

I don't want people to take this as being cruel to the writers, or that I'm being entitled. I genuinely didn't want them to have to dive too deep back into TMA, I'm here for the new stuff. And I'm sure I'll get a bit of "this isn't the genre for you, then, horror is-" I know. I've been engaged with horror since I was much too young. It's my favorite genre. I'm fine with character death. I thought TMA handled it very well.

But I can't pretend that this doesn't hurt, either. I'm sure they have more planned, that this could just be a red herring, but that doesn't stop this from hurting right now when I have no idea what comes next.

I had a glimmer of hope that I was perfectly fine with watching from afar, that they made into a beacon too impossibly bright to ignore. Then, when I steer my boat towards it, I'm lured onto the jagged rocks. Just because they throw me a life preserver a few weeks later doesn't remove the water from my lungs.

Idk. I know some people are excited about this, and I hope they get everything they're looking for out of the story, but I worry that at this rate, I might not. At least not until the wound heals some more.

Okay, I'm gonna go back to writing fanfiction where they get to be happy. Pretty sure that's as close as I'm going to get.

[spikrock]

how i feel every mtp character was mischaracterized by the old fandom

basically me describing my icks about mtp fics that ive seen from like 10 years ago/kinda sorta my personality hcs. bear with me here, because they are all my headcanons/opinions and i dont want to make it sound like i think my ideas are the only way you can see the characters...(talking into the void)

Alice: she loses her spunkiness! she becomes a perfectly sweet and agreeable person in almost every fic ive read. i dont see her like this. in my mind, alice is a good mix of kind and understanding with hot headed and stubborn. everyone in the band loves her and she’s easy to get along with, but that doesn’t mean she’s perfect. i feel like fics always wrote her as the mom friend, and i dont really like that. i feel like it’s just because shes the only girl (ive read very few fics where caterpillar is written as a girl) alice really doesn’t scream “mom friend” to me. i see her as pretty chaotic and impulsive. she’s kind of immature, but she always has good intentions in mind and most people in her life admire her, so it’s easy to miss. you know? 

Tarrant: ouuugh boy. in my mind, tarrant is a lovable idiot, his ideas are wacky, sometimes he says things that make zero sense to anyone but him (and maybe thackery and mally), and he’s typically bad at reading a room, being cheerful most of the time (even if his friends arent). most fics i read write him as this! which is great, because i think it’s pretty close to how i see him. he’s pretty much always written as comic relief, which is fine by me. 

my problem starts with how the other characters treat tarrant. they act like hes annoying…ive read so many fics where tarrant will say something a little wacky and every character in the scene side-eye one another and go, “okaaaay, tarrant…🙄” or something similar, and it makes me mad!! so many times i see scenes where alice is “apologizing” for him, when all he did was…talk? be around? the bandmembers are his friends…they aren’t treating him like that, alice would NOT feel the need to apologize for him either? in fact, if alice felt like anyone was making fun of tarrant behind his back she’d fucking kill them. im so serious. 

Mally: not that cool. mally is a LOSER. and i say that with the most love imaginable. he’s got zero game, he’s fairly awkward when he’s not playing or on stage, he fails at like everything, he’s literally insane, and he doesnt think any of that is true. in mally’s mind, he is THE coolest and most special-ist person on the planet at all times and in all ways. he’s so lucky he wasnt subjected to fandom nowadays where people talk about killing their favorites with rocks or whatever. he wouldnt stand a chance. 

fics write him too cool, and too “normal”, if im being honest. this is something that happens to both mally and thackery, and idk. he’s insane!! hes a weirdo!!! the name of the band is MAD t party, i feel like they should all be at least a little crazy. idolmouse was giving them EVERYTHING in those shows and they just threw it all away 😔 the disrespect…

Thackery: they make him way too shy and quiet and nervous when he isnt like that at all. thackery, in my mind, is definitely quieter and less showy than his bandmates, but he’s still as energetic as they are. he, unlike some of his other bandmates, is fine to step back and let someone else be the center of attention. he just wants to be along for the ride; he doesn’t mind what songs he needs to learn for the shows or what they need him to do, he just wants to play in a band with his friends. none of that means he’s overly shy or timid or anything, though. i don’t really know where they got that? the most i see is when he’d hide behind his ears sometimes. but other than that he's always getting in people's faces and jumping around and they just forget hes silly as if thats not one of his most endearing traits like cmon now

and…it hurts even more because you can really tell while reading the fics that it’s because of the ship dynamic with mally that they write him this way. its really frustrating to me. i dont see them as opposites, more like slightly different variations of weird. 

Absolem/Adonis/Caterpillar AUGH whatever: ive only ever read one fic where they write caterpillar as ladypillar so maybe i should just put absolem but whatever.. too serious. too stoic. they basically just copy paste his personality from the 2010 movie. why? i dont know. he gets plenty of personality in the shows but old fics really just ignore that... his ass is NOT wise he plays the fucking keyboard in a band at disneyland 😭 he doesnt know shit 😭😭😭

he’s sort of just around to give advice to people. im just saying they could stand to let him be funny once in a while...hes just so serious even though he doesn’t really act that way on stage. i do like the idea of him being more like that when the bands first getting started but eventually coming out of his shell and letting himself have fun with the rest of them. and almost every caterpillar performer made him really aggressive lmao, i think they should’ve leaned into that it would have been funny. like he just punches someone in a fic. idk. i think we should let absolem hit people

Chessur: in the few fics ive read where chess does much of anything, he’s basically got the same problem that absolem’s got where they just sort of copypaste his movie-self, even down to the way he speaks. i REALLY hate that, they usually make absolem and chess talk all elegantly, esp compared to the other characters. its just really weird to me and makes them feel out of place. 

but out of all these characters, chess being the one that writer’s struggled to do much with makes sense. he’s behind that drumset all the time, he doesn’t get much explicit character shown, so i mean, what else were they gona turn to? going back to the 2010 movie is the next step ig. but also, i mean, it’s possible. it’s not like the performers NEVER did anything, because they did. you can still get a personality and come up with a character that isn’t just tim burton’s chessur but a human. 

i see chess as the quietest in the band; he isn’t shy, he doesn’t not want to be around his bandmates or anything, he’s just sort of quiet, unless someone speaks to him or he’s teasing someone lmao. i see him and mally as pretty similar, but neither of them like acknowledging or admitting it. hes meanspirited, but actually very caring and nice, you just gota know him. and hes closest to alice, so ofc SHE knows it. all his sarcastic comments to his friends are just how he says he loves them <3 if you ask, he’d tell you that he only joined the band because he knew they needed a drummer, but it was really cus he wanted to hang out at the tea party (he rarely went before because he and mally genuinely did not get along before the band) i think chess is the type to never talk and then randomly drop the most profound shit anyone has ever heard. idk, does any of that make sense?

so yeah. i know mad t party fandom was all about doing whatever you want with these characters cus there really wasnt much to base anything off of, but i dont think that really applies to their characters?? really just the stories? like they DO have characters and personalities. when people would say things like theyre acting when theyre on stage...that is so weird to me because thats literally just what the show itself is. where is the fun in saying that theyre not actually like how they are on stage? 

this is just a peek into how i see these silly little band guys…ive wanted to share my hcs for a while now, but like. my mind is just spaghetti. i know everything i want to say, but writing it down and putting it out there is just sooo hard. i hope the 5 people who will see this post will understand sort of what im trying to say here. thanks for reading if you read the whole thing thats insane. gold star fo you.

[ritasaysrelax]

Character Information*

Rita Jacobs / She,Her / 28 years old / Lounge Singer at ‘Snake Eyes’ Casino & Bartender at ‘Mount Olympus’

Rita is your resident ‘here for a good time, not a long time’ gal and you’ll be lucky to really know anything about her. She’s super charming, very friendly and is totally friends with everyone! Um, just not close friends. You know how it is...

Grew up in New York city, living there for the majority of her life before bouncing around. She had roots there- real, deep, connections- and then she left. And decided to never do that again, thank you very much!

Ended up in Redwood Hollow after drifting for what felt like forever. There was something almost comforting about just how homey, ‘know your neighbour’, it is here. It feels like she could really be a part of something- if she wanted to.

Loves to dance and kiss pretty people before never calling them back! She was really just trying to chill out and look hot, to be perfectly honest. Never dwell too long on things that might hurt her feelings- the usual stuff.

When Halloween happened and she got a batch of the Bad PepsiTM, it gave her a big ole dose of existential crisis. She knew everybody, she had so many friends (right?) and she had people that cared about her (right?). She let people care about her and know her, right? Wrong.

So yeah, we’re just kinda going Through It in this Chili’s tonight.

Extra Links*

Intro Post - Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/paigescxlly/rita-jacobs-the-brains-beauty/ - RP Blog: https://paigerambles.tumblr.com/tagged/c:%20rita%20jacobs - About

Wanted Connections*

Exes / ex hook ups - Rita is (of course, itsa me!) bi-bi-bi! And just #badatlove so would love to have some ex-almost relationships. They could have had it all! Or maybe they brought out the worst in each other? Or maybe they used to hook up but things got complicated or they might actually be good friends (think Mark Sloan x Callie Torres).

*Ex #1 - @rangerbuzzlightyear *Ex #2 - @chelsea-katz

#Ghosted - they talked and it was epic but then the sun came up... Basically, these two really did vibe and it toed the line of being something #real so, naturally, Rita had to disappear faster than you could say ‘hey, here’s my number’.

Past Connections - so, they knew each other before Redwood! Either in New York or wherever Rita was drifting around. Bonus points if she conned you out of your wallet or at least a few martinis- I’m imagining fake names and a very convincing backstory about being with the band, or something.

Flaky FriendsTM - either they’re both a mess and could try harder or Rita is always bailing on your character. After the #poising incident, Rita is now trying to make amends and reconnect with them.

Wanted Plots / Plot Ideas*

'Take a drunk girl home, let her sleep all alone.mp3′ - (not actually gender specific) but Rita helped your character home one night from the lounge or bar, or maybe they were both just out and about. She held their hair back when they threw up, listened to their drunken rambles and made sure they didn’t fall asleep in their shoes. 

‘Take it outside, pal!’ - Rita caught you on a bad night but you were causing just even trouble she had to toss you out of the bar! Maybe now things are awkward or there’s a grudge! Maybe the memory of that night hasn’t quite come back to them until... 

‘You only call me when it’s half past five’ - so this can either be for your character at Rita or vice versa! But they never really hang out under normal circumstances. They only ever call them when they need a ride home or are feeling lonely, or are being a mess. They tell them secrets and pretend they never kissed. Still, either one of them still keeps picking up the phone.

Taken Connections*

Nani Pelekai - bestie but in the way she knows that Nani already has #1 besties. @themanagerisavampirex

Mary Gibbs - #1 girlies! If she has time for anyone, it’s Mary @itsmarygibbs (@magicaladamlegrand for Adam’s knowledge!)

Alice Little - Rita was getting closer to Alice after their re-appearance, checking up on them and bonding. Until it all went wrong on Halloween... Rita didn’t mean to keep secrets from Alice, she just wanted to know that they were okay. Now it’s all messed up. @xalicethewonderx

Arista Neptune - Rita definitely wanted to start a flirtationship with Arista which has now spiraled into the potential for something more...more- which is very scary. Finds herself thinking about her and her sunshine disposition way too much. @aristaneptune

Morgan - Morgan is just a ray of sunshine, Rita loves to catch up with them whenever they can for a good time and gossip. @mxmorganmorph

Oz Borror & Hayden Bodaway - her respective employers at her two jobs. @ozborror-highroller , @haydenbodaway

Patrick Patterson - did you know Rita had a roommate? Well, souprise! @patrickpattersxn (also @paxtonpatterson and @itspersephxne I feel like this can give us some shenanigans too!!)

Iridessa Sol - thinks she’s an absolute babe!!! @iridessa-sol

Other*

One character from the open tag you would like to see taken / added to the Most Wanted page: Shinda Proud!!

One Character you want to see a bio for in relation to this specific character: I would love- love- to have a Dodger!! There would be angst. There would be feeling! There would be history!!

[sheloooveswomen]

good morning indeed - alice macray x reader

masterlist

summary: morning after an unplanned night with a nervous/rambling alice. Mrs America AU (2 years later) where she ended up leaving her husband, getting a job, and joining the women of the ERA. reader is one of many friends she's met since changing her life. they've gotten very very close overtime, but could there be more.

includes: alice x fem!reader, thoughts are italicized, POV switches.

warnings: none

inspired by Safe in Her Arms Audio’s audio on youtube

3,614 words

{ your home / remember this is set in the 70s }

ALICE POV//

I am in a bed in a room in a house that is very much not mine and there are arms around my waist.

Cool cool cool cool.

I peak over my shoulder to see her, "Oh wow..."

I peak over my shoulder to see her, "Oh wow..."

She is so pretty...and young...what is she doing with me...? I can't just wait to find out.

Okay. I-

Deep breath Alice.

I gotta get out of here.

Umm no I can't just sneak out! What a rude thing to do. I don't want her to think I don't like her. There's nothing wrong with her!

I take another look at her.

I cou- I could always call her later...? No that's still rude, I can just- but what if she wakes up and I'm here and she doesn't want me here. What if she regrets- she might very well regret..... ummmmm, okay... a note?

A note. Pad of paper...?

I lean forward to check the nightstand drawer.

Genius. Okay... umm...

I nervously uncap the pen and fix the paper in a position to write.

Geez, never has paper been so loud.

Deep breath Alice.

Ummm good morning, beautiful....? I had...a great time last night...and I've got to go- no. I've got to run, yeah, I've got to run...um....um. I don't know how to sign off on that...

Good morning beautiful, I had a great time last night but I've got to run Fondly, 

   Alice

Um... heart. Great.

I reread it a few times.

Okay

I put the pad and pen back in the side table before trying to get up, but tightens her hold around my waist.

Geez, okay. We're just gonna put that right here....and we're gonna...slowly roll out.

I look for my clothes.

O-kay. I guess this is the hard part...

_____________

Y/N POV//

I feel Alice start to move, so I pull her closer to try and help her go back to sleep. But then she gets up. I lift my head to see her standing in nothing but her underwear, putting something in the night stand, and picking up her blouse.

"Do you have to go?" I yawn.

She jumps, covers herself with her shirt, and lets out a nervous laugh, "Oh- hi! I- um no I just had to use the restroom for a second."

I rub my eyes before they settle on a piece of paper where she was sleeping, "Is that a note?"

She looks to the paper, "Yes it is- I was going to use the restroom and then I wa- well I was going to....go."

I prop myself up on my elbows, the bedsheet barely covering my boobs, "Is something wrong, Alice?"

She rapidly shakes her head, "No. It's not um- no it's nothing personal. I just wasn't- to be perfectly honest to- um..."

I fully sit up, letting the sheet fall to my waist, causing her eyes to widen before meeting mine again.

She clears her throat, "I just didn't know if you would want me to be here when you woke up?"

I sit on my knees to take her top from her hands and put it on the nightstand. Slowly to see if she’ll pull away, I use her hand to guide her towards the bed. The whole time she goes back and forth between staring at my boobs and trying to find words.

Eventually she tries again, "So I wanted to be sensitive to that possibility and take that pressure off. so that was—"

I lay her down, put my head on her shoulder, and an arm around her still bare waist.

"—Oh, you're in a snuggly mood...okay" she lets out a nervous laugh.

"Is this alright?" I ask.

"I can roll with this. I can...roll...on in." she places her arm around my back.

I smile and tighten my arm around her middle.

"Oh squeezes, too." she laughs.

I giggle and kiss her cheek, "Good morning"

"Good morning indeed" she blushes.

I let out a content sigh feeling her fingertips glide over my back.

"I hope I didn't make it weird just now... I just couldn't predict if you'd want to wake up next to me." We shift onto our sides to lay face to face, legs intertwined, hands joined in between us, "Not because a lack of confidence" she adds.

"I was about to say, have you seen you?" I smile, making her laugh.

"You're very sweet...you're also very distracting. As I was saying: not because a lack for confidence but just because you're so cool and we didn't plan any of that, and while I wouldn't consider myself to be very type A—"

"Mhm.”

"I wouldn't!" she whines.

"I didn't say anything!" I laugh.

"Okay, so I wouldn't consider myself to be type A, everyone else” she pinches my side, “can think whatever they want to think. But I just generally- I've never- this is the first time I've ever just woken up in the bed of someone I didn't plan to stay with? I'm very self-protective in that way."

"I didn't pressure you or anything did I?" I chew on the inside of my cheek.

She rubs my arm in reassurance, "No! god no, this doesn't have anything to do with you. I have no regrets regarding last night. I mean we chose what we chose for a reason and we had a great time!"

"Okay, good. Had me worried for a second there."

Alice smiles, "I'm just over analyzing. Thinking 'oh my gosh, we have so many mutual friends' and that's not to say that anyone has to know? And that's also not to say that this has to be a secret of any kind. It's just...I didn't expect this so I guess I'm trying to do all the planning I wish I would've done."

I smile at her rambling, "You can't work backwards like that, Alice"

"I'm aware." she groans, "I promise just because I wish I would've planned this- honestly maybe if I did then it never would've happened because I can imagine I probably would've seen far too many risks with our friendship and complications within our social circles." she laughs lightly.

She pauses to gather her thoughts, having gone onto a completely different point.

"You know it's funny because I've been...how do I put this...recently I've been- I've been dating women for a bit now and please do not compare last night to anyone else because I sure don't. But in moments like these I always go back to a conversation I had a really long time ago." 

She plays with my hand to ease her nerves.

"For the first time after my divorce I was finally feeling brave enough to flirt with a woman and I was shocked I got an immediate bite. I was on drugs given to me by a stranger but still" she laughs, "The woman surprisingly responded and I was like 'woah hold on hold on! this is a little fast and I know I initiated it but I have never even kissed a woman before and I was only with one person for twenty years and that person was a man!'. I completely unloaded on them- both this woman and her friend, and they were very impressive in the fact that they said 'why don't we unpack that for a minute'."

"Was this when you first met Gloria at a convention?" I smile, having heard a bit of the story.

She nods shyly, "She was very kind and she said 'you're an amiable and beautiful—' actually I don't know if amiable was the word she used but she used a strong adjective that made me feel good."

"Our friend does have quite a vocabulary" I smile.

Alice laughs, "That she does. She said something like 'you're a beautiful woman and you're charismatic. You flirted with her so as far as your timeline is concerned, why is she the first woman that you might kiss'. And I think it came down to me not feeling safe enough to even think about dating women, you know?"

I nod in response, letting her continue.

"It started with the household I grew up in. I was definitely not safe enough to date women there unless I wanted to be the full blown black sheep of the family- or even kicked out. So I didn't want that. My family didn't have a right to that part of me. I ended up rooming with a girl who happened to be gay in my first year of college. Later it was brought to my attention that she had an insane crush on me and was exceptionally slighted by the fact that I had no interest in her and never would."

"Oh gosh." I run my thumb over her knuckles.

"Exactly. At the time I didn't realize it was strictly out of jealousy that she told me I had no right going out and flirting with women, if I was not sure that I wanted to be with one. That I'd be a ruthless tease—"

"She didn't."

"She did!"

I balk at her roommate’s reasoning, "Obviously you have to learn and get out there to find what you want and what you don't."

Alice nods, "I know that now but this one girl had strongly convinced me not to. At the end of the day it really came down to her not wanting anyone else to date me."

I shake my head in distaste.

"I did have the courage at one point and again it was similar: I flirted and she responded. I was surprised, but this roommate gave me a full sit down lecture on 'playing with women's feelings'. She just didn't want me to date anybody but her. I was naive to that because I thought she was my friend. To me friendship meant the selfless caring of one another but I've come to find in adulthood that's not often what it means to a number of people. That is a whole other case to crack wide open."

I smile at her thinking out loud.

"From there I didn't feel like I was in a safe environment. There were gossipy parties that would frequent the few gay clubs and the last thing I wanted was my narrative to be hijacked by these people. Leading me to date and marry Buck. We went to school together and I knew he liked me- he wasn’t a bad guy he just-"

She rolls her eyes at the mention of her ex-husband.

"Anyways, as I was unpacking why I never felt safe it all made sense to me. Gloria had said 'well it sounds to me like you're afraid of being judged' and I had never simplified it to that degree." she laughs halfheartedly. "It was so embarrassing because on one hand I don't regret the decisions I made out of self preservation. I was happy for a good while and I love my kids -my new grandkids, too- but with that aside I told her 'you're right'. It came back down to judgement. I had always assumed myself to be a person who was strong enough not to care. If I was going to choose a lifestyle or make any choice, for that matter, and it would make me happy without hurting anyone else. Folks who have nothing to do with those choices can just shoo. I became so compliant, so stuck, and I couldn’t take it so I made the difficult decision to choose myself."

"Good for you, Alice." I smile, genuinely proud of this woman’s growth.

She grins at me, "I tell you all this, though, not that this particular story is relevant now but I find that since that conversation that a lot of my reservations or anxieties come from a place of judgment rather than thinking this may be an actual social problem. The line for me there is sort of blurred. So that's where my concerns are coming from because I don't know much."

I nod to let her know I understand but stay silent to allow her flow to continue.

"But what I do know is that you make me happy—"

I can't help the big smile that takes over my face.

Alice laughs shyly, "—and I really like your sense of humor and that you're so sweet. You took really good care of me last night and you're taking very good care of me right now" she tucks my hair behind my ear, "you're being very sensitive to my feelings and that's so rare in the world so I appreciate that a lot. I mean you're beautiful and smart and fun."

"I appreciate you and your company very much, Alice."

She beams at me, "I've not had a single moment even in our friendship in which I haven't loved spending time with you. Or where I haven't respected you or admired you." She mindlessly plays with my hair, "If I'm being perfectly honest I- I don't know if I've allowed myself to fantasize as far as anything romantic with you. I think I've probably suppressed it." she chuckles.

I smile at the sound of her laughter, "I think it's just human nature that we assume the people that we think are pretty amazing probably wouldn't think we're pretty amazing. That's not to say that you haven't made it clear that you enjoy me- my company I mean, I knew we were good friends. I think it's a flawed defense mechanism to choose to assume just so we don't even try and therefore skate away from any potential emotional damage."

She hums in agreement, "Of course in reality that means A) we dodge all possible opportunities for exciting things to happen- such as last night."

I gasp, "That would have been tragic!" I run my fingertip over her collarbone

Alice smirks before continuing, "and B) it makes us cold people, right? Let’s say you like me and I decided you didn't. Even if you made yourself clear, I refuse to believe it. That'd probably translate to you as rejection. If I'm not responding accurately to clear messages you're sending me. Granted I’d know it's self defense but you wouldn’t know that. You would probably think I wasn't interested, that I was being rude or standoffish."

"Very true"

"But anyhow....I- I'm rambling now because I'm nervous by what you have to say because I'm really comfortable here with you. Although sneaking out would've been so simple, we're here and we're talking...and I'm liking what we're talking about...and... I'm getting really lost in those eyes" she laughs.

I've never smiled this hard in my life.

"And that smile- stop! You cannot break out the big guns when I'm trying to sort my feelings out!" she covers her eyes, "It's too early! It's too early for that!"

"Okay, okay!" I rest my head back against her chest.

"Thank you...I think I'm nervous because this is so much more complicated than us just enjoying each other's company now. How do we- how do either one of us feel about...dating? Or romance, you know? There are so many different intimacy needs under the sun that differ from person to person. So if I were to tell you..." she swallows heavily, "...that I am um...a bit of a closet romantic...and you were to tell me that sounds just absolutely disgusting—"

I can't help but laugh.

She smiles despite her nerves, "—and you would sooner jump into a swamp than hold hands with anybody ever, then I wouldn't judge you for it. I'd sorta feel like my heart was out on the line and we might find ourselves in an awkward position, though. Sure we both like to spend time together but knowing we both have entirely different needs? Perhaps this wouldn't be sustainable. And if it wasn't sustainable would this be worth telling any of our friends or going out again? And that's just to name one complication."

We both go quiet, partially to think and partially to enjoy each other’s subtle touches.

Alice sighs, "These are the type of complications that I've been trying to avoid. All the thoughts banging about in my brain. I've been dodging these conversations for a very long time. Had we discussed this beforehand, that would've felt a lot less risky. Though I feel like now we understand the stakes if we don't align our interests it's harder. So now you understand the note wasn't to leave you high and dry" we laugh, "quite the opposite, really. I don't want you to feel like I don't respect or appreciate you because I really really really really do."

"I know you do, Alice. I don’t think you’d ever do anything to intentionally hurt someone. You’re too good hearted." I hold her closer to me.

"You smell good and that's fun" she laughs, “I appreciate that- I hope I smell good, oh my gosh. I don't know what perfume I used last night but I did wash my hair before I set it so let's hope that was enough."

"You smell absolutely fantastic to me." I lean in to smell her neck.

She shivers slightly, "I um...I have like a red velvet cupcake shampoo. I hope I used that" she laughs, "it's my favorite. Although- you know what, I don't need to go on about my shampoo."

I laugh into her shoulder, “I am getting notes of cupcake from your hair. It’s sweet.”

"I'll let you try it later. Assuming...considering you want to hang out again, you can borrow my red velvet shampoo...if you wanna share a fun space together again then yeah- you can use my shampoo."

My eyes widen with amusement, "Fun space?"

"What else do I got....I can give another long speech as well?" Alice offers, giggling.

"Really?"

"Mhm, I used to really love Shakespeare" she laughs, "I can rattle off for ages and make it sound really beautiful, too. Mhm. I can use really strong vocabulary. I can speak in a rhythmic poetic form, if you'd like that."

I laugh at her awful british accent.

"For now...how about...I make you some tea? Or coffee or whatever you've got. I'll have fun snooping in your kitchen- well that's not appealing, we'll call it 'foraging for goods'. I don't know if that sounds better but it sounds more fun than—"

I cut her off with a kiss.

"Really?!" she laughs.

"What?" I grin.

"That's the statement that makes you want to kiss me this morning? I mean, whatever does it for you, if that's a foraging or tea making—"

I pull her into another kiss, moving to hover over her.

Her eyes stay closed as her hands find my hips, "Your lips are very soft...okay listen, I'm gonna get really carried away if I lay here much longer so—"

I quickly kiss her again.

She laughs, "Wait!"

I tilt my head and grin, "You want me to stop?" I give her an even quicker peck.

"Mmm no I don't want you to stop but" kiss "I am" kiss "gonna need" kiss "to go" kiss "prepare some—"

I fully straddle her and take her face in both hands, pulling her into a longer, passionate kiss.

She rolls out from under me, sitting at the edge of the bed, "I'm not complaining but seriously I'm turning around. I can’t think straight- I'm gonna get you something to get your—"

I move her hair to kiss her neck.

"—day...started...um so you...can j-just um try not to think about all I just spilled, ju—" Alice clears her throat as I continue down the other curve where her neck meets her shoulder, "we need to have a c-conversation so put your thoughts together..." her voice gets softer when I turn her head to face me.

"I'll do that" I assure her.

"Okay, I'm going do some quick self improvement and foraging and think on that." she smiles into a quick kiss before getting up.

"You don't have to make me anything, you know." I smile, watching her put on her underwear before rummage through my dresser for something to throw on.

"Well I want to because you're cute and I like you and I also want some tea. It feels good to do a simple gesture." she pulls on a t-shirt that barely reaches her thighs before coming back towards me, "Okay sweetheart, I'll be right back- oh, I hope you didn't mind the pet name? I didn't mean to really it just slipp—"

I sit up on my knees, pull her towards me, and kiss her again.

She sighs happily, "Okay... good to know. Okay." she pecks my lips quickly.

"Okay" I laugh.

"For the record if there are any other pet names you like please let me know because I do not mind calling you something you especially prefer." she gives me another kiss, "Okay...you get cozy. When I come back I'll have something delicious prepared and I'll come cuddle right back up and we'll have a chit chat. Though I think it'll be okay if we wanna nap between talks, I think that sounds okay—"

"Sounds perfect, baby." I smile.

She freezes, mouth wide open, "Oh my god. You- yes. You're so pretty- okay, I'm up!"

"No!"

Alice gives me one last kiss, "Uh uh I'm up!" she heads into the kitchen.

I lay back down with a dopey smile on my face. I’m woken up by her a little while later, mugs in hand.

"You dozed off there, honey.” she smiles at the new pet name, “Good morning, again."

"Good morning indeed, gorgeous."

"Some tea for two?" she smiles sweetly, getting back in bed.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

pls do part two of “you're everything you once hated” 🥺

Alright! I originally wasn’t going to do a Part 2 of this but a few people have asked so here you go! 😙

You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi

PART 1 | PART 2

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

{Main Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC, Ann, Tatta, Hatter, Kuina)

Summary: You attempt to escape Niragi to replenish your visa by yourself, but he catches you and makes sure you won’t do it again

Warnings: (okay here we go) blood, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, obsessive themes, suggestive themes, graphic violence/torture, needles, being held hostage, deranged behaviour, reader is traumatised, implications of a panic attack, dehumanisation (kind of?), mention of amputation, mention of suicide, guns, knives, reader sees a corpse, minor character death

Word Count: 4.6k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: this is quite heavy and messed up, so I recommend people under 15 don’t read this

The young man leant against the large building, holding a small rose in his sweaty palms as he waited for you to arrive from your after school class. He winced as the thorns slightly caught on his olive skin. He sighed and craned his neck back to rest on the wall behind him. No matter how much he attempted to distract himself, the rate his heart was beating kept bringing the nausea to his stomach.

The sky was painted a soft mix of orange and pink as the sun began to fall asleep below the horizon. Valentine’s Day couldn’t have created a more romantic atmosphere for Niragi, he couldn’t mess it up now or he would let cupid down himself.

“What the hell am I even doing?” he questioned himself, wiping his brow with the back of his wrist. “She probably doesn’t even see me this way. We’ve been best friends for years, if she felt something she would’ve told me by now, right?”

He was stressing himself out, continuing the doubt whether his idea was good or not. He was considering dropping the rose and just walking away, being too afraid of the reality that he had been in love with you for years and had never been able to voice it. He felt embarrassed about himself, making his head fill with insecurities and doubts.

His phone vibrating in his pocket pulled him from his thoughts. Niragi reached into his blazer and pulled out his device, noticing a text from you.

‘I’m on my way,’ it read.

He heard your footsteps around the corner and straightened himself up, letting out a sigh to relieve tension. He knew there was no going back now, so he had no choice but to go ahead with his confession.

Just as he was about to turn the corner to meet you, he noticed a male voice that echoed yours, making him freeze in his tracks. He kept himself pushed against the wall, trying to listen to what you were saying.

“I mean, movies are cheap at the moment. Do you want to go see one together?” Niragi heard the boy say. His heart sank at the males words and his hand holding the rose fell from his chest to drooping towards the ground.

Your voice, that was all too familiar to Niragi, answered him. “Sure! I’m busy this afternoon, but I’m free this weekend on Saturday.”

Saturday. Niragi frowned. You and him always went to the park together every Saturday to have a picnic together. You wouldn’t forget about that, would you?

His disappointment turned into anger suddenly. The exhilarating emotions filled his mind and heart so quickly, it took him off guard. As his hand twitched slightly, he shook his head to remove the thoughts from his head.

“Okay, I’ll send you a text later to talk about times and stuff,” the boy said. Niragi’s curiosity got the best of him and he peeked his head around the side of the building to catch a glance of who you were with. He wished he didn’t.

It was one of the young kids that picked on him in Science class, which you weren’t in. Niragi felt betrayed, but tried to reassure himself that you just didn’t know what this guy was really like.

“Bye Y/N,” the boy muttered shyly, making Niragi fume at his fake behaviour. ‘He obviously is just trying to get in her pants,’ Niragi thought to himself, jaw clenching in annoyance at your blindness.

The boy leaned close to you and left a soft kiss on your forehead making you smile and wave happily as he walked away. As soon as he disappeared up the stairs a few metres up, Niragi leant back so you couldn’t see him.

He felt tears building in his eyes, so he quickly wiped them away before you found him. He jumped as he saw you turn the corner, hiding the rose he held behind his back.

“Hey Niragi!” you exclaimed, having the same gorgeous smile that you always conveyed around him. Usually the small action would make him melt into the ground. But at that moment, he didn’t think anything you did could make him feel better.

“You okay?” you asked, leaning close to his face with your eyebrows raised. His heart beat picked up, noticing how your lips were only a few inches away from his. He turned his face to the side, hiding his blush. “Yeah, I’m just tired,” he lied through his teeth.

As he kept up his innocent façade, small droplets of blood slowly drizzled down his wrist from the tight fist enveloping the thorned rose. His confined anger flowed through the blood that spilled from the cuts in his palm, but he didn’t feel a pinch of pain through his tensed muscles.

Perhaps one day, the world would give him another chance to show his love for you.

***************

You woke with a start as someone busted through the door of the room, looking around in a panic at who would enter so suddenly. Your eyes widened as you caught sight of Niragi, stumbling into the room with his usual sniper rifle slung over his shoulder.

“Sorry love, did I wake you?”

You stayed silent, sitting up properly and watching his movements closely. You didn’t trust a single thing he did or said, so you still remained on high alert whenever he was in this room alone with you, despite the fact you had been sharing the room with him for three days.

“You getting hungry? I brought some food up last night for you while you were asleep,” he said, placing his rifle on a small table. You watched as it collided with the wooden surface, flinching at the loud noise.

You hadn’t been able to leave the room since your injury. You had been shot in the foot by an overly sensitive militant woman who you weren’t even sure was still alive after the beating Niragi gave her in front of you. His behaviour during that time alone was enough to you terrified, especially the fact that it is impossible to run from him now.

But the lack of movement on your foot has proven to help and you have noticed the bullet wound healing quite well. The ointment and bandages you apply regularly on it (no help from Niragi) has been working perfectly, and you were praying for the moment you could move your stuff back to your own room and escape Niragi’s unpredictable and psychotic behaviour around you.

As if he read your mind, Niragi spoke up. “How’s your foot? Is it getting better?”

The sweet tone in his voice was so contradictory to his intentions. You hated the fact that he thought you fell for his fake façade. To be honest, he probably knew you didn’t believe him, but continued with it to keep you on your toes.

You glared at him through the top of your eyelids, keeping your head low in suspicion. As Niragi sighed from your unresponsive behaviour, he strutted over towards the bed that you were laying on. You panicked and used your arms to push yourself away from him, being terrified of his presence alone. Spending only a few days with him was enough to make you realise how despicable of a human being he actually was.

“Shh, calm down. It’s just me,” he attempted to calm you.

You froze as he sat on the bed nearby your legs. A pained expression grew on your face as he slowly lifted your injured foot to place it gently on his lap, running his hand carefully over the bandage you had applied before going to sleep.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, glancing up at you. You shook your head no, watching as he smirked slightly and turned back to it.

“I’m going to have a look at it,” he demanded, beginning to unravel the bandage on your foot.

You remained still, watching as he was unusually careful. It made your adrenaline run rapid, not knowing when he was going to suddenly snap.

As he pulled the final layer off your foot, relief filled you when you saw that it was still fine. The injury had turned into a small hole in the top of your foot, no blood or redness in sight. Maybe perhaps you could walk again soon, and be able to replenish your visa that was due to end in a few days.

Unfortunately, Niragi wasn’t as happy about this knowledge, and he intended to do something about it.

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, leaning over to the night stand and picking up a small unwashed needle that he had kept there. It was left there by Ann a few days ago, as she had to come to the room to stitch up a cut that Niragi had obtained during a game.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him holding the needle close to your bullet wound. “W-Wait, Niragi,” you stuttered, nervous about his intentions. “What are you doing?”

Niragi glanced up at you, a devilish smirk painted across his face. His expression made your stomach churn and you attempted to pull your leg from his grip. Your heart rate picked up and you began to panic when he refused to let go.

“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt much. Just... try not to scream.”

Just as you were about to protest, Niragi pinned your foot onto his lap and pushed the tip of the needle as hard as he could into your bullet wound, making you let out a silent scream and thrash in his hold.

You screamed and screamed and screamed, a horrific pain continuously shot through your foot to your leg. You swore at some point it felt like he was cutting your foot off.

“NIRAGI!” you wailed. “STOP! PLEASE!”

You begged and begged through your cries of pain. After what felt like a century, Niragi pulled the needle out of your foot slowly and placed his hand over the wound to attempt to stop the bleeding. You were now lying on your back, sobbing lightly into the sheets and given up.

You felt Niragi caress your face with the back on his hand lightly. “My little princess needs to stay here, where I can keep her safe. You can’t leave. There’s horrible monsters at The Beach and I would hate for you to fall prey to one of them.”

You felt like screaming at him. How could he be so blind, so ignorant. He was the monster, and he failed to realise it.

He placed your leg off his lap, making you let out a small cry. Niragi crawled further up the bed next to you and sat on the sheets. You were facing away from him, not even daring to turn to look at him. You could hear him unbuttoning his checkered shirt, seeing it fly over your frame and land on the floor. A shiver made its way up your spine as Niragi’s hot breath hit the nape of your neck and his warm limbs snaked around your torso. He placed his hands underneath your shirt and softly caressed the skin of your stomach whilst nipping at the skin on your neck.

“You’re so pretty. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you over these years.”

His words sounded so loving, so sweet. But your reaction was the opposite of what he wanted. A slow, sorrowful tear traveled down your face and you began shaking in his embrace in fear of having him so close. You wanted to close your eyes and wake up back home, back in your own bed with your family’s hushed conversations spread throughout the house. This wasn’t home, this was absolute hell.

“Why are you shaking? Are you cold?” your tormentor asked. He removed his hands from underneath your shirt and pulled on your shoulders to make you turn over to face him. You kept your eyes shut tight, refusing to submit to his demands.

He pulled you close once again and placed his hand on the back of your head to push your face into his bare chest. Niragi’s usual smell of blood and metal filled your nostrils, making you grimace against him.

You continued to shake, not being able to control your movements. Niragi sighed, tucking his chin on the top of your head and nuzzling into your hair, taking a breath of the all too familiar scent of the shampoo you’ve always used for your hair. How you managed to find the exact one in the Borderland was beyond his understanding.

The smell made him feel at home. The comfort he found in you was too strong for him to handle, making him become deranged at the thought of you being back in his arms. It scared him, how much he actually depended on you to keep him happy.

And while he continued to hold you close and smile happily at the feeling of your soft breath against his chest, he failed to notice the continuous flow of tears that cascaded down your face and the shaking of your hands that gripped the top of your own thighs violently, trying to realise the tension of the adrenaline in your veins.

************

You had had enough.

Niragi did nothing but put you through absolute torture and trauma no matter how much you attempted to reason with his psychotic self. Bruises littered your body from his usual violence, committing to the awful promise that he was going to make sure you couldn’t leave the room.

You were imprisoned. It felt as if you were trapped in a cage that had the easiest lock in the world to pick, only you didn’t have hands to unlock it.

So two days after the needle incident, you decided you were going to escape, even if it killed you.

You had to replenish your visa, considering it ended the next night. You feared that Niragi would just leave you to die, not caring about your visa, so you had to take it upon yourself.

You may have had an infected bullet wound and a nearly crushed spirit, but you weren’t going to let this be your end. You had to at least try.

*************

“Oi, I’m leaving now,”

You shifted your eyes from your hands resting in your lap to the tall, deranged man who stood at the door of your room. He had his usual black and white buttoned shirt on, charcoal hair tied up at the top to keep it out of his face and his relaxed hand tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans. You almost felt disappointed. How could such a handsome man be wasted by such a horrific mentality.

He carried his loaded sniper rifle in his arm, fiddling with the trigger as he awaited an answer from you.

You nodded your head and turned back to your hands, twiddling your thumbs nervously. You stayed frozen as you heard his footsteps make their way over to you.

Niragi lifted your chin with a harsh grip to your jaw and smashed his lips onto yours. You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort, feeling his desperate lips bite over yours hungrily. It made you feel sick to your stomach.

He pulled away, your lips connected by a string of saliva, making him chuckle. “I’ll be back kitten. Maybe I’ll bring you back a present,” he suggested, raising his eyebrows.

You nodded once again. You knew what he meant. Perhaps an amputated hand of one of your friends? Or the eye of a seeker/hunter to remind you of the “monsters” he’s hiding you from? At this point, you were desensitised to it.

The feeling on his lips on your head brought you from your thoughts. He softly stroked his hand through your hair, tucking slightly on the ends, making you wince.

“Stay here, and don’t answer the door if someone knocks.”

And with that, he left. You stayed completely still for a few minutes, waiting in case he decided to come back just to torment you further.

After you were sure he was completely gone, you shifted to the edge of the bed and swung your legs over the edge to stand up. You had practised walking around the room on your injured foot for the past few days when Niragi wasn’t there, so you had grown used to the random aches that shot up your leg from your bullet wound while walking.

You waddled to the door, slowly swinging it open and grabbing the small knife that sat on the table nearby. You had to have some kind of weapon in case something was to happen.

As you stepped outside, a few people were still making their way down the halls towards the lobby. You noticed a young man that you had somewhat befriended when you first arrived at The Beach named Tatta. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you, a smile growing on his face.

“Y/N! Where have you been?!” he exclaimed excitedly, running to you and throwing his arms around you in a playful embrace. You grimaced at his loud voice, being afraid of a certain someone potentially hearing him say your name.

“Hey Tatta,” you said back, giving him a right hug. You swore you felt like you could’ve cried in his arms from how deprived you were from normal human interaction without the fear of being assaulted.

“Are you coming to the games tonight?” he asked, pulling back from the hug and keeping a hand on your shoulder. You nodded. “Can I stick with you?” you asked with hope in your eyes. Tatta smiled and hit your arm lightly. “Of course! I’d feel better going with someone I knew.”

You agreed and began walking down the hall towards the lobby together in a comfortable. Tatta failed to notice you being more cautious, checking around corners before you turned and whipping your head around to glance behind you every now and then.

************

Just your luck, a ten of spades. You swore the world just wanted you dead. At that point, you had become used to the never-ending bullshit that was thrown your way.

You clawed your way to the table that held the card. Holding the single piece of cardboard between your fingers had never felt more satisfying. You slid down against the wall near the registration area, limbs shaking from the muscle strain you faced during the game. Tatta knelt in front of you, rubbing your knee in an attempt to comfort you, but nothing he could do would make you feel better.

Back at The Beach, you sat in the lobby on one of the leather couches, rubbing your foot to try and ease the aching pain coming from your wound. You had heard when you arrived back that the executives had called a meeting, so you weren’t too worried about running into Niragi.

You closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your head back to rest against the couch. Moments like that were complete bliss. For a moment, you were able to forget your current situation.

A sudden hand on your shoulder ripped you from your meditation, and you turned your head to see none other than Kuina with a red face and heavily breathing from running. “Hey Y/N,” she started. You sat up and turned around fully to face you.

“The executives want you in the meeting. They heard you collected a high number card and they need you to deliver it.”

Your heart dropped at her words, realising what was coming for you. You had to walk into that meeting room, where Niragi stood. He was going to find out about your little adventure you had without him knowing. Adrenaline filled your senses from the thought of what he was going to do to you.

You slowly stood up, wiping your sweaty hands on your shorts and checking your card was still in the front pocket. You gulped heavily and nodded to Kuina. “Okay, I’ll head there now.”

Every step towards the meeting room was another towards hell. The more stairs you climbed, the more nausea filled your stomach, the more thoughts filled your head. You were seriously just considering throwing yourself off the roof of the hotel, as that seemed like a better option than facing Niragi.

You arrived in front of the double doors, freezing in your path. You don’t know how long you stood there, sighing shakily and attempting to crack your knuckles to relieve tension. But still, as you lifted your hand to push on the large wooden door, your arm shook like a leaf.

You trudged in, hearing the room fall silent at your entry. You refused to look up from the ground, keeping your widened eyes locked to the carpeted ground until you reached the end of the table.

“Ah, Y/N. Finally! Care to show your card?” you heard Hatter ask. You glanced up and caught sight of all the executives gathered around the table on chairs. One of which was of course Niragi.

You locked eyes with the psychotic man, and your stomach dropped when you saw the scowl on his face. He was staring directly into your soul, eyes hardened with anger and unforgiveness. If looks could kill, you would’ve been on the floor dead before you even made it to the table.

You focused on the task at hand and pulled the card from your pocket, placing the somewhat damaged ten of spades on the table. Hatter reached over and held it close to his face to examine it as everyone watched. Well, everyone except Niragi, who held his piercing gaze on you. You swore you could feel him burning holes through your skin.

“Hmm,” Hatter hummed in approval. “Thank you very much Y/N, that will be all,” he said, making a shooing movement towards you.

You nodded and thanked him before quickly walking out of the room. As soon as you stepped out, you broke into a sprint towards you and Niragi’s shared room.

You had to leave the room before the meeting finished. You feared the absolute worse.

When you arrived at the room, you ripped open the door and scrambled inside, groaning at the pain your foot was in. You didn’t have a choice, you had to hurry.

You made your way to the large closet, immediately reaching for the top shelf to pull down the miniature machine gun that Niragi stored up there as a spare. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to know about it, but you managed to spot him tucking it underneath the clothes at some point.

As you were shuffling around the cupboard trying to find some bullets desperately, annoyed and stressed sighs and gasps leaving your mouth, you froze when the sound of the door opening hit your ears. Immediately assuming the worst, you grabbed the door of the cupboard and closed yourself inside, attempting to enveloped yourself in the piles of clothes and resources.

The keyhole in the door of the cupboard allowed you to have a small space to look through. You closed one eye and glanced through the hole, spotting Niragi placing his sniper rifle on the bed and untying his hair, running his hands through it in stress.

You didn’t dare even breath, keeping all your limbs tucked close so you didn’t knock over anything. You were so afraid that Niragi would even hear the sound of your heart beating, as it was as loud as a drum in your own ears.

You grimaced as a sudden putrid smell filled your nose. The smell of fresh flesh that you were all too familiar with from living in the Borderland. You turned around in the cupboard and moved to the side so the light of the keyhole would at least somewhat illuminate the small space. The sight in front of you was enough to make you throw up.

There sat Tatta (or at least, Tatta’s remains), empty eyed and leaning against the back of the cupboard. Bullet holes littered his once kind face, probably counting eight at least. You covered your mouth in horror, letting out a loud cry at the sight, pushing your legs against the ground to scramble away from your dead friend.

Once again, just like the other day during the needle incident, you screamed and screamed and screamed. You fell backwards out of the closet, curling into a small ball and screeching into your palm in horror at the now clearer sight of your friend’s corpse. 

Everything was crumbling around you. Your voice was being ripped to shreds at the back of your throat. Your mind was falling apart, not being able to handle the traumatising events that you’ve faced, breaking and tearing itself apart. Your body was broken. Bruises and scars scattered your frame like an artwork, each one holding a connected traumatic event.

Niragi sat on the bed, watching as you screamed on the ground over by the corner of the room, tears sliding down his tanned cheeks.

What had happened to you? Why did you change so much in these few years?

Niragi slowly stood and made his way over to your shaking frame, hooking his arms underneath your shoulders and knees to lift you bridle style. He smiled sadly down at your shivering frame, not being able to control your rapid movements.

“Aw baby, you’re a mess,” he cried, a sob escaping his mouth halfway through his sentence.

He brought you back over to the bed, crawling on his knees to the centre of the mattress and crossing his legs to lay you in his lap with your head tucked into the crook of his elbow.

He brushed your hair with his fingers, trying to ease your breathing as you kept your eyes tightly shut in fear. “I tried to warn you. Look what happened,” he chuckled through his tears, motioning his head over towards the cupboard. “Do you like your present? I saw you walking with him on your way back to the hotel and thought it would be perfect. Why don’t you like it?”

You opened your eyes and looked up at him with fear all written all over your face. You didn’t dare move from his embrace, being too afraid.

Niragi smiled as he caught sight of your glistening eyes, reaching a hand up and stroking his thumb along your cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he breathed out, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

You brought your shaking hands up and rubbed your face before finally speaking up. “I want to go home,” you desperately whispered, turning your head and pressing your face against Niragi’s clothed chest. He watched as you brought your hand up and gripped the material of his shirt in your fist tightly, conveying anger and stress through your grip.

“You are home kitten,” he states, rubbing his cheek against your head. “I’m your home. I always have been.”

He wasn’t lying to you, and that was the pill that was hard to swallow. Niragi had been your source of comfort for so long, and for once in your life, it felt foreign to lay in his arms and to look into his night eyes.

Oh how weird it felt to look at something that conveyed such sweetness, such delicacy and such empathy, only for it to be utterly ruined by its environment.

You’d like to think that it wasn’t either of your faults. But in the end, it doesn’t depend on the environment, it depends on how you react to it.

Neither of you were perfect, but you were both incredibly different. It never would’ve worked between the two of you, and being in the Borderland did nothing but strengthen that fact. In the end, your differences would either tear you apart from each other emotionally, or you would tear each other apart limb from limb.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I’m back to finishing off the fanfic requests that have been sent to me because I finished all the prompt scenarios. I won’t be doing another part to this because I honestly struggled for so long trying to figure out a plot for this one 😭 But anyway thanks so much for your patience. I’ll be uploading these fanfics as quick as I can! ❤❤

Small addition to this fanfic talking about Niragi’s motives and intentions

[euovennia]

Mate

Summary: In which Carlisle finds his mate with the subtle guidance of Alice.

Pairing: fem!reader x Carlisle Cullen

Word Count: 1,860

"Slow down, Alice! There's no need to be this excited, it's just skating." Rosalie remarked with a bored expression as she and the rest of the Cullen family struggled to keep up with the tiny woman.

"Maybe it is just skating, but we haven't had a family outing like this in forever, Rose! Trust me when I say this is good for us, it'll be unforgettable." Alice spoke, a mix of mischief and excitement glimmering in her golden eyes. Jasper came towering beside her and wrapped an arm around her small frame, "Just what are you planning, darlin'?" Alice only smiled before quickly escaping his grasp and continuing bouncing her way toward the entrance of the skating rink as the small group attempted to rid themselves of the uncomfortable nagging feeling in the back of their minds.

Something was going to happen, but no one knew what.

With the door held open by Alice, the family quickly filed into the building before being dragged over to the check-out counter where an older man stood hunched over the counter as he kept his eyes trained on a small TV in the corner of the counter. His calm exterior fumbled momentarily as the sound of the entrance door slamming shut behind the rather large group snapped him out of his focus. He quickly straightened himself out as he painted a warm smile onto his face, "Well hello there folks, what can I do for you?"

At this, Alice quickly pushed a surprised Carlisle to the front of the group. Feeling awkward, he quickly clasped his hands in front of him as he looked directly at the man who was patiently awaiting a response, "Hello. My family and I were interested in doing some skating. Perhaps for an hour or two."

The man turned to look down at his wristwatch before changing his attention to Carlisle once again, "Of course, but I have to say that there's gonna be about a ten-minute wait. I can get you all situated with your skates and take you down to the observation room while you wait. If that's alright, of course."

Carlisle glanced back at his family and upon receiving one enthusiastic reply from Alice and a shrug from Edward before he turned to the man, "Yes, that'll work out fine."

With their skates in hand, the Cullen clan followed the man down a long, brightly lit hallway before reaching a set of worn-in blue metal doors. The doors let out a loud creak as they were pushed open by the man. As the group filed inside the cold room, they were met with an intensely fast-paced tune composed of numerous cellos. They glanced at one another, the uncomfortable feeling slowly beginning to blossom in their bodies further with the exception of Alice who stood there with a large, expectant grin on her pale face. Realization dawned on Rosalie as she caught sight of her sister's face and she harshly grabbed her wrist as she spoke in a low tone, "What the hell are we doing here, Alice?" Ignoring her harsh, venom-filled tone Alice only shrugged. Huffing, Rosalie returned to Emmett's side as she crossed her arms. Sensing the tension that was growing between his adoptive children, Carlisle turned to the old man who was looking out a window that was faced outward toward the skating rink. "Is there a specific reason for the music?"

The man looked back at Carlisle and wordlessly motioned him to stand by his side. Carlisle furrowed his brows together in slight confusion but walked over by the man as requested. Eyes focused on the glass window in front of him, Carlisle watched as a woman feverishly skated around the rink with a heightened sense of grace and elegance that could rival that of his own family. He found himself enthralled with the precise and quick movements coming from the mysterious woman and found himself letting out an unnecessary breath as he asked, "Who is that?"

The old man kept his eyes trained on the woman's skating figure as he answered, "I don't know much about her if I'm being honest. All I know is that she's a pro skater and that her coach is pretty strict." Carlisle reluctantly tore his gaze away from the woman and glued them to the man beside him, "Coach?" The man nodded as he turned to face Carlisle fully, "Yeah. That guy over there." He spoke as he lamely motioned to the left side of the rather large rink. Carlisle's gaze settled on a well-built man with medium brown hair that was immaculately styled with calculating and judgmental eyes that seemed to rake over every movement of the female skater.

As Carlisle's gaze went to settle on the woman once again, he was pulled from his thoughts as his adoptive children had grown an apparent interest in Carlisle's overly observant attitude. "What're you looking at, pops?" Emmett spoke loudly causing Carlisle to cringe at both the nickname and volume of his voice. "Nothing, Emmett. Just looking around the rink is all." Rosalie scoffed, "Seems to me like you were checking out something special," Her gaze quickly turned to the woman who was effortlessly gliding across the ice, "Or someone." It was at this moment where Carlisle knew that if he was still capable of blushing, his face would be on fire. "She seems to be very talented, it's eye-catching." Esme gently defended. "Well, the music is a bit obnoxious." Rosalie muttered. "A flair for the dramatics never hurt anyone." Edward mused. "Oh please, all you know how to do is be dramatic." Rosalie fired back, her annoyance growing with each passing second.

Carlisle watched the scene unfold in front of him with weariness in his eyes as he gave a small nod toward Jasper who then unleashed a subtle calming effect on everyone present. Unable to fight back the sudden wave of calmness she felt, Rosalie let out a deep breath before walking away with Emmett trailing behind her, ready to calm her down further if needed. Relaxing his posture slightly, he turned to face the old man. "I apologize. My family, unfortunately, do not see eye to eye on everything." The man simply waved off his apology. "I used to be a family man myself. No worries. Anyhow, I best be getting back to the front desk. As soon as those two get out, feel free to hop on in." He said before giving the family a departing wave and walking away.

Carlisle watched him disappear behind the rusty blue doors before directing his attention back to the now-empty ice rink. He felt his undead heart fall to the pit of his stomach as one question raced through his mind: Where did she go?

His question was quickly answered as the doors leading to the rink opened and the man and woman walked in speaking in what Carlisle could make out to be French-based on his rather limited knowledge. He watched with great interest as the man and woman went back and forth with their conversation.

"Vous vous déplacez trop lentement dans certains domaines. Vous devez l'accélérer." (tr: You move too slow in some areas. You need to speed it up.) The man spoke, his tone a bit rough and body language that gave off the impression that he was annoyed. The woman seemed a bit exasperated as she responded, "Je sais que oui, mais je me sens épuisé. Donnez-moi juste un jour de repos, c'est tout ce dont j'ai besoin. Je serai mieux après, je te le promets!" (tr: I know I do, but I feel exhausted. Just give me one rest day, that's all I need. I'll be better after, I promise!) Once finished speaking, the man turned to her and shoved a finger in her face as he spoke quickly and sternly, an annoyed expression present on his face. "Non. Vous ne vous améliorez qu'avec une pratique constante. Pas de jours de repos pour vous. Arrête de demander." (tr: No. You only get better with consistent practice. No rest days for you. Stop asking.) The woman seemed disheartened by his attitude as she crossed her arms and simply nodded. The man let out a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, "Pardon. Juste ... Habillez-vous. Nous devons partir." (tr: Sorry. Just...Get dressed. We need to leave.) The man tore his gaze from the woman in front of him and was surprised to see a large group of pale people awkwardly trying to pretend as though they weren't just eavesdropping. A light pink color dusted his cheeks as he pulled his jacket closer to his frame. "My apologies. Just a small disagreement. Have fun on the ice." He said, an awkward smile on his face as he walked out of the cold room.

With the door slamming shut behind him, the woman looked up at the family, her eyes quickly moving over the appearance of all of them, her gaze lingering on a certain blonde doctor for a second longer before speaking, "Sorry to take up all the ice. It's just that people normally don't come here." At the sound of her soft voice, Carlisle looked away from the door where the man had once gone through and fixed his eyes on the beauty in front of him.

She had dark brown hair that was thrown up to an elegantly messy bun with two fallen wisps of hair that worked to frame her face perfectly. Her eyes were a few shades lighter than her hair whereas her perfectly arched eyebrows matched her hair color perfectly. He found himself admiring her long eyelashes that beautifully fluttered with every blink and her long, slim nose that sat perfectly on her face. He admired the light pink color that stained her lips and cheeks, a glorious reminder for Carlisle of the humanity that remained within the woman before him.

"Dad!"

Carlisle looked over at Alice who had a knowing grin on her face as she motioned with her head toward the woman. He looked back at her, "I just wanted to know if you were alright. You seemed a little...Out of it."

At the sound of her melodic voice, Carlisle gave her a warm smile. "Yes. I do that sometimes. Sorry to concern you." The woman returned his smile as she spoke, "It's fine. We all have our moments." Carlisle nodded as his smile stayed painted on his face. After a few moments, the woman spoke again, "It was nice seeing you all, but I must get going. Have fun." Carlisle's face fell at her admission and he nearly reached out to stop her but restrained himself from doing so. "Of course. Have a wonderful day." With a final smile, she gave the group a nod of acknowledgment before taking her leave.

"What was that?" Jasper spoke once the doors shut behind the woman. Carlisle could feel his undead heart clench as he uttered the next two words,

"My mate."

[pawsitivelymiraculous]

Damian, the little brother, Dupain-Cheng (Part 1)

I'm backkkk! I explained why this series went on hiatus on this post but yeahhh the Damian Dupain-Cheng series is back and will be posted on it's old schedule (which is every other week) Anyway I really appreciate you guys,, sorry for taking so long and let me know what you think! Comments really motivate me to keep writing.

(I promise I'll add a read more thing and the links tomorrow but I need sleep. for now I'll add the masterlist you can find everything there)

<<Previous   Next>>

Ao3 Masterlist

~♡~ Recap ~♡~

Marinette kidnapped/adopted Damian after seeing him with Talia in the Miraculous Café. She gives him the choice between staying with her or a non assassin relative. He chooses to stay in hopes of stealing the miracle box, but since that didn't work he lashed out and tried to kill Marinette and her friends repeatedly. This makes Marinette doubt in herself because she feels guilty about the whole situation. After hearing Marinette cry, Damian runs away confused at the whole situation, but he didn't get far before realizing that he was actually okay with the idea of Marinette becoming his mother. Marinette finds him and they go home. Time passes, they get a dog, Damian grows closer to Marinette and Marinette legally adopts him.

This takes place some time after all of this, like a couple of months.

~♡~♡~♡~

Why am I still in Paris?  

Jason asked himself this every day, and yet he could never find the answer.

Maybe it was because he really had nothing else to do. Well besides killing a Bat.

Or maybe it was because being in Paris somehow cleared some of the madness leftover from the Lazarus Pit that clouded his brain.

In either case it seemed like every time he tried to leave, he would convince himself to stay with the lie that Marinette Dupain-cheng was just as dangerous as Talia had claimed she was.

And that his "brother" really was in danger.

Which only led to him tailing after the pair like a complete creep while feeling miserable because who was he kidding? The woman who had taken Damian in was just as dangerous  as a basket of golden retriever puppies and Damian would have a way better life living with her rather than with Bruce.

And still he could not f*cking leave.

So he continued to observe from the shadows. Trying to remain invisible.

Which had worked out perfectly fine until that day it seemed, because Jason soon found himself pressed against the cold concrete after being flipped by a woman half his size.

Jason tried to look up, but he felt the heel of a shoe pressed against his head.

"Ow"

"Oh, I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Jason heard a familiar voice say. The only difference was that she was speaking in English with a slight accent rather than French.

How the h*ll did she know that he spoke English?

Jason tried to get a better look at his attacker, but she just pressed down her heel deeper making it very clear that she was not sorry at all.

Marinette leaned down to talk to him. "Look kid, I just want to know why you keep following me. Now we can talk like normal people, or I'll have to be a little… unconventional. So what do you say?" 

Kid? Jason couldn't remember the last time he had been called. It was especially surreal coming from such a petite woman who couldn't be older than thirty.

"Now I'm going to let you stand up just… don't do anything stupid."

Stupid seemed to follow Jason because as soon as he felt the pressure on his head lessen, he stood up and ran. The only thing in his mind was getting away from the woman. 

He wasn't able to go far though. As soon as he got to the end of the ally they were in, Jason suddenly felt all the muscles in his body grow weak. Everything around him became blurry and for the second time that day, Jason fell down and hit the gravel.

~♡~♡~♡~

Marinette hadn't meant to use a tranquilizer she made from the bee's miraculous venom on the guy. Honest.

But she needed answers, and he didn't seem in the mood to be the one providing them, so she had to do something before he got away.

Marinette did find it strange how he seemed more interested in running rather than harming her in any way. But she could think about that later. For now, she had to do something about the unconscious body on the ground.

First, Marinette tried to drag him back into the ally because she didn't want to risk anyone seeing her. It was ridiculous how difficult it was to move the guy a couple of inches. Even with all the strength she got from being ladybug, Marinette found herself incredibly tired when she finally managed to get to the end of the alley.

There was no way that Marinette could drag the guy to a safe location. Unless… she had the horse miraculous.

Marinette swiftly grabbed her phone and called Adrien while still holding down the guy in case he regained consciousness. "Hey kitty! Are you busy right now?"

"Um no?" He replied cautiously. "Unless you need me to bury a body, then I'm really busy." He would gladly lie to the police and give marinette suggestions on how to get rid of the body, but actually digging a hole sounded like too much of a hassle in Adrien's opinion.

Marinette laughed nervously. "Don't worry it's not a body." She paused "Not a dead one at least" she added under her breath. 

Adrien heard her anyway "Marinette."

"I just need you to get the horse miraculous and come here." Marinette added quickly when she heard Adrien's disapproving tone. 

"Do I even want to know why you need it?"

Marinette hesitated. Adrien still acted weird around Damian, and she wasn't sure that he would want to get involved with this. "Well I found the guy that was following me" she explained  "and accidentally knocked him out" Marinette stopped when she saw a portal open. "And you’re already here, was there no traffic?"

Adrien laughed as he walked out of the portal. "I was already getting the miraculous while you talked." He explained with a shrug then he looked at the unconscious guy on the floor. "Sooo… do you need help with that?" 

~♡~♡~♡~

Kagami was already at the café's storage area by the time Adrien and Marinette passed through the portal.

Adrien did a double take when he saw her. "Woah, I literally just texted you."

"You said you found the stalker, and I was nearby, and I figured that you would need help interrogating him." she explained. 

"With a sword?" Marinette asked, eyeing Kagami's left hand. "Where did you even get that?"

Kagami smiled. "Yes, and your son has an excellent taste."

Marinette looked at kagami, with a very confused and slightly worried expression. "Wha- when did you go sword shopping?"

Adrien replied instead. "When you asked me to babysit, your little gremlin scares me and gami wanted a sword, so I let him go with her." Then he grabbed a nearby chair and sat the guy in it, and also tied him to one of the stands that held coffee supplies using zip ties.

"You have broken my trust Agreste." Marinette said trying to sound as serious as possible but failing at it. "No, but seriously, let me know next time okay?"

"Yes ma'am"

It took a couple of minutes for the guy to regain consciousness. And as soon as he did, he thrashed around trying to break free from his restraints. Looking around him wildly until his gaze landed on Marinette.

His eyes narrowed. "You" he lunged towards her but was held back.

His attitude was completely different from their first meeting. Before he seemed conflicted and confused. But while he still seemed very confused that confusion was now mixed with rage. Which Marinette could understand, she had just knocked him out and brought him to a strange place.

But Marinette needed answers, the guy was very clearly part of the league, his aura reeked of their darkness, and she was not about to feel sympathy for anyone connected to the league of assassins.

So Marinette held no remorse when she allowed kagami to approach him with her sword after he calmed down a bit. 

"Who are you?" Kagami asked threateningly, then raised the blade dangerously close to his neck. "And why have you been following Marinette?"

The guy didn't even flinch. "Name's Jason" then he turned slightly to look Marinette in the eye. "I am Damian's brother," he continued. 

Marinette's eyes widened. The room fell silent for a moment. 

Jason smirked at his captors' shocked faces as he gave the final blow.  "And I'm here to take him to his father."

~♡~♡~♡~ TAG LIST ~♡~♡~♡~

(If you want to be added please let me know)

@elmokingkong @anjuschiffer , @ii-fox-demon , @justcourttee , @tazanna-blythe , @lozzybowe , @idontfuking, @wannajointhecrabcult , @bakergirl13 , @rosalineandrosemary , @art-is-hard-to-do-sorry , @our-preciousss , @consumeconstantly , @jiso-lee , @allthegooddaimenettenamesaregone, @justcourteesuportline , @finallyaniguana , @user00000003 , @whydoexamsexist , @justafanwarrior , @violetfandomaddict, @smolplantmum @fidget-eep ,@cadenceh2o , @justarandomtumblerblog , @ramos123 @iwantasecretidentity @t1dwarrior-of-earth @thesunniestdays @alice-hazelwood

~♡~♡~♡~ PERMANENT TAG LIST ~♡~♡~♡~

@charme-de-malchan , @theatreandcomicfreak , @m3owww, @elliebelliegirl , @genevieve-the-demonologist, @vixen-uchiha , @t1dwarrior-of-earth , @waffleyunsure , @technicallyburninggarden , @azuremayscarlet , @vroomtaka , @emistar0 , @ichigorose , @maskedpainter , @art-is-hard-to-do-sorry , @alysrose-starchild , @jayjayspixiepop , @abrx2002 ,  @nathleigh , @icerosecrystal , @jumpingjoy82

[peculiarpatches]

𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 - 𝘫𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘹 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘹 𝑓𝑒𝑚 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

I’m republishing this since it hardly got notes the last time and I’m ~ crazy ~ and need validation that my stories are good. Out of all the Twilight ones I’ve been working on, this still is one of my favorite’s because it’s the first one I’ve ever written. It’s the first one that got me inspired to write for the other characters, too. So, as much as I love this one, I hope you love it, too.

A/N: This story includes smut. If this makes you uncomfortable, don’t read. Simple as that. 

 There’s not much other than oral and dirty talk, however. Either way, I hope you enjoy.

Centuries — that's how long Alice and Jasper have been together for.  The two were simply inseparable; Stuck to each other like glue. It'd take millions of weapons  and hundreds of people to try and tear them apart, no matter what happened or what went on in their crazy, immortal lives, it didn't matter, no, because they lived for each other. 

Their lives were better, happier, because of that other person.  

And nothing - nor, nobody - was ever going to change the fact.   Jasper wasn't one to express his feelings (though, he could control other people's emotions,  ironically enough) but that small grin you  see every now and then across his face  was all thanks to Alice.

 The smile belonged to her because she was the one that brought peace, happiness, and love back into his life, even when he swore he'd never find it. Hell, he swore he'd never find any of those listed off again, if he was being honest here. But... she somehow did it. She brought all of those into his life along with hope and faith.  (Alice told him that very saying too upon their first encounter  together - the moment she took his hand with her own, she felt hope. And she hadn't felt that in centuries. He never met the gal before, not having a single clue as to who she was. Here he was, sitting in a  diner in  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, trying to figure out where he planned to go afterwards, where his next stop would be within the states when an attractive woman walked up to him, letting a happy, relieved sigh fall from her lips. "It's about time." She announced, the grin growing across her face as she slid in the opposite side of the booth, guiding her hand out to take Jasper's hand within her much smaller one. She gave his fingers a squeeze and explained the situation, the happiness on her face only growing wider and brighter as she continued to talk. Jasper was  confused, to say the very least;  But her emotions overwhelmed him so much, in his gut and in his heart, he felt as if he could trust her, right then and there. 

Even if they have only have met that day, she spoke about the future and to others, they would have laughed and called her crazy. But the way she spoke, so open, so generous, loving and kind, all these feelings directed towards him, he felt it, too - love. Love at first sight, if you will. And Jasper had ever only felt that once and it lasted briefly.  But this time, as he continued to listen to her speak,  a tiny grin found it's way across his lips. In-love, he was. As absurd, and as crazy as it may sound, he could feel it. They belonged together. And the gal - Alice - was exactly like him, too. Of course, she would be, having a power like that and all.  Alice saw them in the future, had seen Jasper plenty of times in her mind but didn't know exactly when she'd be meeting him.  She admitted today, however, she knew.  Jasper even said he felt something today, too. He just didn't exactly know what it was. But he felt it. The emotions were difficult to ignore. He laughed and leaned close, whispering to Alice he assumed these feelings he felt within him were nothing but hunger. "You won't have to worry about that, either." She told him. "I know a way of keeping not only you safe but me, as well. To keep your hunger satisfied without harming or needing to hunt humans." Alice continued. Jasper cocks his head to the side, confusion written across his facial features, as he wondered what she meant by this. Instead of asking, as he figured he'd understand more of the situation later, he chuckled and gave her hand a squeeze which she happily returned. "Well, now you have me and I promise you, I won't ever let a pretty gal like you go, either." He said, making the smile on her face somewhat bigger than what it was before. "I wouldn't let you lose me, anyways." She responded. "Besides, I see the future here, don't I? None of that will be happening. You're stuck with me, Jasper." Jasper laughed gently, "I'm more than perfectly fine w'tha, darlin'." He commented, his accent  drawing out as he spoke.)   (Love - Jasper never wanted to look for it. Never sat down and thought about having a significant other.   He assumed he'd be alone, forever. And as dull and as depressing as that may be, he was content with it. Who could love someone as broken and as damaged as he? His past was fucked up. Surely, his future was going to remain the exact same, too. So, to Jasper, he figured it'd be best to be alone. He didn't want to put his baggage onto another person for them to carry and haul out. He'd do it himself, without a doubt or without a care in the world; he'd drag his own baggage behind him.

 Not once, did he ever think or want to allow people to see what secrets he held within the case, within himself.  But, life is amusing and love has a funny way of revealing itself. Though, so secretive and mysterious, hardly ever speaking a word to strangers, let alone any other vampires, a girl who saw the future and saw him in it, already knew all the secrets he kept hidden away from the world. 

Alice knew what Jasper's past was like. And she still accepted him. Still loved him. "If you're broken, you don't have to stay broken." She said, that same very night. "I won't let you be, neither. We'll fix each other's broken, shattered pieces, we'll place them right back together. Fit the two of them together like puzzle pieces. 'Cause, I believe that's what you are to me. You are the piece of the puzzle I've been searching to find. Been waiting centuries to come across.  And now that I finally found you, I have hope and faith once more - that everything is okay. And I hope that you believe me, too, when I say these words but; I love you, Jasper.. and again," she joked, a goofy grin playing out on her cheeks, "I see the future and therefore, I know you believe me, too. I also know you love me as well." 

And Jasper said nothing. He only chuckled deeply and nodded. He met her then and there, not once meeting her elsewhere before but  he loved her, too. And he didn't need to say those three words out loud because she already knew how much she meant to him.) (His future was brighter, better, because of Alice. And he couldn't thank her enough for showing him that life was better when you found that special someone by your side.  He found both - happiness and hope - within not only her but the Cullen family. Alice along with a man named Carlisle, even helped Jasper with his hunger and taught him how to remain strong and fight his urges.

 As Alice mentioned beforehand, back at the diner, she was going to help him. And she did. Not once did she ever break her promise to him.) However, that's when everything falls back onto him. When everything starts breaking. Decades. Centuries. Years and years together. It was bound to happen, eventually, right? Boredom. Falling out of love. Finding someone better to fulfill her needs and satisfy her. You get the idea. Jasper was afraid that Alice would announce she no longer loved Jasper, for whatever reason that may be, he didn't know. But he was going to find out today.  *~* Even if he hadn't been watching Alice,  it wouldn't and didn't matter because he could feel her emotions with as much as a second glance and a look in her direction, an overwhelming sensation would flood over him instantly. So, even if he wasn't watching her, he could feel everything she was attempting (but failing) to hide.    The typical, loving and affectionate gaze she would always give him was no longer there.  If it was, it  lasted a millisecond before she'd drop her head, strands of hair falling in front of her face and a frown would replace the look.�� Of course, this was not only concerning but worrisome for Jasper. Had he done something wrong? 

If so, what did he do? What could he do to fix it? He didn't want to sound like Edward before he met Bella — dull and depressing and nothing but those but it's exactly how he felt and he hated every aspect of that. 

He and the rest of the Cullen’s made fun of Edward for being so gloom and grey but now, alas, here Jasper was, feeling that exact way. 

Oh, how the tables have turned.  Even Edward, the petty little shit he always was and will forever be, even made a joke about it.  Luckily, he had Bella beside him so Jasper couldn't abuse Edward's emotions and make him feel what he was feeling because she could put up a shield and block it out, protecting Edward.  "Just go and talk to her." Edward said once he saw the look on Jasper's face.

  "Trust me, I'm the mind reader out of all of us here. I know what I'm talking about and I know what's going on. And no, before you ask, I will not give you the answer as to what exactly is going on. You just have to go and find out yourself." He said, tilting his head back as laughter left his lips. 

 Bella scoffed and gave a playful hit to her husband's shoulders before giving Jasper an apologetic smile. The two then had left, going to go and find their daughter, leaving Jasper all alone with his thoughts and worse of all - his feelings.  Taking a deep, shaky breath, Jasper decides it's now or never.  He creeps up the stairs, and the closer he gets to his and Alice's room, he hears her angelic laughter and can practically see her, smiling from ear to ear as the giggles erupted her and hung into the air. Jasper loved her laughter, loved seeing her smile even more. 

He just hated the fact he wasn't the one who was the meaning behind it. If not him, who was?  "Darlin'?" He walks in front of the bedroom door, giving a gentle tap across the frame of it. He rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet as he anxiously waited for an answer. The loud laughter he once heard died down quickly which makes him feel even more anxious. 

Biting his lip, he shuffles and rocks his body back and forth as he still continued to wait until the door was to be answered, not wanting to walk in and upset Alice more by invading her privacy. 

The laughter is replaced now, however, with faint giggles and muffled, hushed whispers. He hears some shuffling and the bed squeaking before finally, Alice is pulling the door open. She stands there, giving Jasper a sheepish, yet shy smile. "Hi, baby." She cooed, leaning up on her tippy toes as she plants a gentle yet adoring kiss on Jasper's cheek.  This took him by surprise because not only did she call him 'baby' but she kissed him and it felt like she hadn't kissed him in years. So, this being said, it brought a smile to his lips. 

 Her upcoming sentence  brought the sides of his lips upward even more, the grin growing and his nerves and anxiety, slowly, dying out.  "You know, I've been expecting you. Wondered when you'd come up here." She said as her feet came back to touch the floor. Alice reaches over, taking Jasper's hand within her own and walks into their bedroom, closing the door behind them as Jasper walks in.  There, on the bed, was another female. She glanced up and smiled shyly, the same way Alice did when Jasper knocked at the door and she saw him behind the frame of it. 

 "Jasper, you remember (Y/N), right?" She asked, dropping his hand as she makes way to the queen sized mattress and makes herself comfortable on the bed, next to (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N). They've only met a few times and even then, it seemed so long ago, Jasper had to rethink of when and where they met at.   The graduation party they held and then Bella and Edward's wedding. 

Of course, he remembers now.  Jasper and Alice both would even bump into her while taking a stroll into town every once in awhile and in high school, they shared a few classes together.   ("You two enjoy walks in the rain too?" She had gushed, laughing as she held the umbrella above her head, trying her best to ignore and dodge the rain that fell from the sky above them. Alice and Jasper looked at each other and Alice giggled and nodded. 

"Yes. It's our favorite thing to do. One of our favorite things to do... Would you like to walk with us?" She asked. (Y/N)'s face bled a crimson red and she shook her head before mumbling about how sadly, she couldn't, though she wishes she could. She had to go back to work. She was only walking to grab a quick bite to eat, one that wasn't at the place she worked at. 

"Next time then." Alice said, the smile never dropping from her face. "Of course." (Y/N) replied before waving goodbye to the both of them and walking in the opposite direction.)  Now, coming face to face with her, after a few years of not seeing her, he wouldn't deny the obvious fact; (Y/N) was as beautiful as Alice.   Alice, though, she wasn't the jealous type, he'd never admit that or say it.  Jasper preferred to keep that thought to himself. (Y/N) was human. Jasper remembered. His smile was quick to fall down into a frown as he looked at Alice, wondering why she brought a human into their home. 

She, so easily, could expose our secret too! He thought, the frown only increasing and getting deeper as he furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to come up with an answer as to why she could be here.  And right as that thought popped into his head, Alice gave a nervous giggle and shook her head from side to side. "I'm no mind reader like Edward is but I know what you're thinking, Jas. Come, sit down with us. We've got to talk." And as confused as he may be, - especially with what she just said in front of a human, no less -  Jasper obliges and sits in the middle of them both, the mattress sinking beneath his weight. "What's going on?" He asks,  crossing his arms over his chest as a mixture of emotions paint itself across his face.   Alice, taking a long and deep breath, begins to speak. "Jasper," She began, "It's obvious I haven't been myself lately. I know you've been noticing it. Everybody has, I'm sure."  "Yes," He replied, chuckling lowly as he chewed on his bottom lip, still not piecing two and two together.  "I'm very aware of that, doll."  "Well, I don't know how else to tell you this but that reason is because of (Y/N)."   Once the sentence leaves her, Alice reached over and grabbed (Y/N)'s hand, squeezing it tightly.  Jasper blinked. Once, twice. He didn't understand. Alice and (Y/N) both looked at each other once they took notice of his expression and they erupted into a storm of giggles. 

Almost as soon as it started, however, they stopped and their expressions were quick to change. They went from laughing to a deadpanned glare, both girls wearing masks of seriousness.  "I've been having visions. Of this exquisite, gorgeous and oh, so wonderful girl. And, well, Jasper, some of us don't just have one love but we have two. Maybe even more... but in this situation, in this scenario, it's you two." She explained.  Jasper went from watching his girlfriend to giving a quick glance to (Y/N)'s direction. 

She sat there, silent, but her cheeks spoke another story. One of which, Jasper easily could read and make out.  Her cheeks, like the day they bumped into each other in town, were as red as a rose and she was biting her lower lip as she fumbled with her hands, twisting and twiddling with them as Alice continued to speak.  "I know you feel the same way about her as well. Don't even try to lie or deny it. I've been seeing the visuals everywhere, they play out like scenes in a movie. The feelings for her are the same you have for me. You gained them at the party we had a few months back, the same way I did." And Jasper sat there, feeling dumbfounded but more importantly, he felt foolish too. Of course, he couldn't get away with his thoughts or actions. Alice could see everything. Even before it happened. "That's why I've been distancing myself." Alice continued. "I didn't mean to, my love. It has nothing to do with you, either. You're as perfect as you were when I first met you. So, do not fret and think you have done something wrong because you haven't. However, I had to have you come to me before I could tell you what was going on and why I was acting the way I was. Or... well, come to us, I should say... So, we could show you how this all would work. Us, three, together." Alice's tongue darted out of her mouth as she wets her lips, a look of seduction rising behind her eyes.  "Besides, isn't it every man's fantasy to have two, beautiful women beside  him?" "Or, perhaps underneath him?" And that was the first thing (Y/N) had said during this entire conversation. Jasper would be a liar if he said  both women's words didn't go  straight to his cock, causing it to twitch against the zipper of the pants he wore.  "Come on, Jasper. Admit it. Don't lie to yourself. You've been wanting her for some time, yes? Wanting - no, craving for this for awhile. Now, is your chance. Today and every day, you can have us." Alice purred. She leaned upward, standing up on the tips of her toes as she had done earlier and her tongue comes within contact of Jasper's neck, setting soft but wet and seductive kisses over the smooth, cold surface.  Jasper grunts in reply, eyes fluttering shut as he gives a weak, timid nod. "Hm," He mumbles. "Today and everyday?" He asked, a smirk finding its way on his lips. "I can live with that, darlin'." "Heyyy." (Y/N) mewled, her bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "If she's darlin', what's going to be my pet name?" She asks, the pout only growing bigger yet both Alice and Jasper knew she wasn't truly upset by it. "Considering you just mewled like a kitten, that's what you will be. Now, kitten, why don't you and darlin' both come here and show me a good time, hm? After all, I have been wanting this for some time." Alice tssked, slapping Jasper's chest playfully as he - finally - admitted those words.  (Y/N) said nothing but watched the two with love and fond written across her face.  How did she get so lucky to be involved in this relationship?  She'd never know. Maybe, some things are better unanswered, (Y/N) thought.  She's quick to snap out of her thoughts and standing to her feet, her eyes never leave her now boyfriend and girlfriend's gazes.  (Y/N) strips down to nothing but a matching pair of panties and bra. She watches how Alice and Jasper lazily yet hungrily kiss one another.  Jasper's hands were on Alice's waist while Alice's hands were tangled in between his golden curls, tugging it every now and then as the session grew hotter and as the two grew more sexually frustrated with each other. 

(Y/N) didn't know what to do, truth be told, she didn't think this would have ever happened.  Luckily for her, Alice pulled away and shot her a lovingly glance before their own make out session could get any hotter (and before (Y/N) could get wetter, untouched). 

"C'mere, beautiful.  You're part of this, too, silly." She giggled as she taps Jasper's shoulder, telling him to get off of her with a movement of her finger.  Jasper chuckled lowly as he rolls over, undoing the belt of his jeans and zips them down as he shimmies out of both that and his shirt. "Who would you like to pleasure and please first, lovely?" Alice asked once (Y/N) sat down on the bed. Her face was still the same exact shade of red, it never seemed to vanish or go elsewhere. It seemed to be permanently there, only growing deeper and darker by the second. Both Alice and Jasper loved it. Loved having this kind of power and effect on her. It was a turn on to both vampires.  "Personally, I think you should  pleasure Jasper first." Alice turns to face Jasper who lay beside her  wearing his birthday suit, stroking his cock, eyes fluttered shut as complete bliss and satisfaction takes over. "For me, however, I am enjoying myself. I would very much rather see you two, touching." He said, opening his eyes as he glanced over at Alice and (Y/N).  "I'm happy with that." Alice giggled  as she's quick to lay upon the mountain of pillows behind her,  stripping her shirt over her head and allowing it to fall down the floor.  Oh, she's so filthy.... such an eager slut. She truly has been wanting this for some time. God only knows how long...  He says this - well, thinks it, anyhow - because the woman didn't wear a bra underneath her shirt and the moment she slides out of her skirt, Jasper notices she wasn't wearing panties either. "Touch me, please, (Y/N)." Alice moaned. She  lay back against the cushions as she spread her legs out in a starfish position, her hand resting at Jasper's thigh, fingers sneaking up and curling at his genitals, softly brushing her fingertips across his groin. Her pussy was slick with juices, (Y/N) and Jasper noticed. She was already so drenched, as was (Y/N).  Jasper's cock twitched, knowing both women were as hot and as bothered as he. "Go on, kitten. Don't be scared. I give you permission. We both do. From this moment on, you can touch us and hold us and whatever you please-" "Cause you're ours, as we are yours." Alice finished, shooting Jasper a smile before returning said smile to (Y/N). (Y/N) chewed on her bottom lip, fluttering her lashes and lids shut, she bends forward and presses her mouth on Alice's core, earning a quiet, low whine proceeding to fall from Alice's lips above. "Oh, (Y/N).... please." Alice whimpers, bucking her hips against (Y/N)'s touch. (Y/N) craved nothing more than to please both Alice and Jasper. As of this moment, however, her main focus was pleasuring Alice. All the girl wanted to do was get Alice  to cum, no matter which way it was. (Y/N) could use her fingers, her tongue or Hell, even both, she (nor Alice) didn't care as long as the short haired gal came with a cry of her name and soaked her fingers as she reached her orgasm. That is all (Y/N) wanted. She wanted to be good - be a good girl, for both significant others. Realizing both vampires were hers to love, to hold and to cherish, really just everything in between,  it sent a chill throughout her entire body and caused her cunt to tingle at the realization. The air in the room was bitter and both Alice and Jasper were cold, too. So, really, that could play a huge part together as well.  But (Y/N) knew her cunt was throbbing because of knowing they were hers, as she was theirs. Not because of their icy touches or the harsh, bitter air but because of them. They, all three of them, were together and happy. And just like when Alice found Jasper and him, finding her, (Y/N) really didn't know what happiness was until she met these two. "(Y/N), babygirl, please..." Alice's frustrated voice brings the girl back into reality, allowing her to leave her thoughts. She giggled, sending  little waves of vibrations to  shake against Alice's clit.  She pulled back, much to Alice's disappointment. "Sorry, I got lost in my head. 'M just happy is all. Can't believe this is happening." She admitted. But before Alice or Jasper could answer, (Y/N) is bending back forward, letting her head fall down and her lips capturing Alice's clit once more.   She gave Alice a few kitten licks, gentle, soft and sweet ones before slipping her tongue  in between Alice's folds, licking away as if this was her last thing she was to do on Earth. And really - if they were to die in their sleep or some random meteor hit, (Y/N)  would much  prefer dying while she's buried between Alice's legs and  her mouth would be full of Alice's pussy, her mouth full of her juices as Alice rode her high out on her face. It sounds like a perfect way to go, if she were being honest. Well, that was one option. The other idea and preference was with Alice riding her face, shifting her weight back and forth, grinding her pussy against (Y/N)'s tongue and lips while (Y/N) laid back against the bed, her legs spread in a "V" shape as Jasper slid his cock back and forth, deep inside her pussy, hitting her spot over and over again. All three of them, moaning in perfect harmony. Alice would cum over and over again, nearly drowning (Y/N)'s face  (which, (Y/N) wouldn't be upset at) with her juices as Jasper shot his load deep within her walls, filling her up with his cum. That was also a fantastic way to die. Alice, above, giggled and squirmed as (Y/N) ate her out. "Don't worry." She murmured, hand coming down to intertwine with (Y/N)'s hair as she pulled her girlfriend closer to her womanhood. "You'll have a piece of Jasper, right here, right now. Isn't that right, baby? You want to be a dear and go up behind (Y/N) as she's eating me out and fuck her tight, little, pink pussy? I can tell she needs it. Can feel her, leaving a puddle by my feet. Think - ah, fuck... (Y/N) - think she needs it. I wanna see it, too. Want to see you, fucking her as her face is full of my cunt." Jasper groaned as he fisted his cock, listening to his girlfriend speak while watching his other girl, eating his other lover out. He could have came right then and there. He was quick to get up and walk up behind (Y/N). (Y/N) was, in fact, soaked. Which was a given. It was obvious, even someone without vision could see that just by the high pitched, muffled noises she was making in the back of her throat. You could tell the poor thing needed a cock stuffed deep inside her hole, stretching her out and all. "Jasper, please, just... fuck me already!" She cried. "More than happy to." He replied. Being the fact she was so wet and aroused, the head of his cock pushed inside her, slipping in easily and comfortably. Even though, Jasper isn't (Y/N)'s first, the girl still needed to adjust to his size and the stretch that was his large and thick cock. Out of all the men she has been with (which wasn't a lot, neither. Only four or five.) Jasper was the widest and fullest. Jasper pauses, letting her adjust for a moment or two and it’s only when he hears a faint, "Go ahead, move... You can move," does Jasper push deeper, his cock sliding deeper within her walls, her juices already sticking to his cock as he slowly rocks his hips back and forth against the human. go ahead from you that he pushes deeper. You do open remarkably well for him, and although he takes his time, he’s awed by the fact that it isn’t unbearably long for either of you. You wonder if maybe it’s the fact that it’s him and you’ve done this before that makes it less stressful for you and lets you relax enough and so relatively quickly, too. While Jasper is behind, (Y/N) is stuffing her face full of Alice's pussy, and not a second later, the human girl buries her index and forefinger into her awaiting cunt. "Oh, fuck! Yes! Oh, yes. Oh." Alice chanted, her voice growing higher and higher as her hands curled at the comforter, nails digging into the fabric. "Oh, (Y/N), fuck me just like that! Fuck me, (Y/N)! Fuck me with your fingers, oh, yes. Oh, yesyesyesyes!!!" Alice squeals in delight, eyes closed as she gets closer to her orgasm. "Look at that," Jasper purred, his accent thick as he spoke. He only got like that when he, himself, was close to an orgasm. 

"My girls. My two beautiful girls. You both going to cum? You want to cum for each other and for me, don't you? Go on then. Be my good girls and cum. I'll cum with you." And just like that, both (Y/N) and Alice moaned loudly, Alice shouting her girlfriend and boyfriend's name in a pattern-like style as Jasper growled, fucking into (Y/N) so roughly the frame of the bed smacked against the wall so harshly, all three  knew it was going to leave a dent in the walls. But they couldn't care less. They were enjoying themselves way too much. (Y/N)'s moans were muffled, as she was being drowned by Alice's cum and like the good girl she, oh so badly, wanted to be - she happily swallowed every last drop that Alice squirted at her. (Y/N wanted to make her cum, sure, but didn't even think about the possibility she could make her squirt.)  

"Oh, fuck~ I'm cumming. Oh, fuck....!" And right as she was done, licking up every drop of Alice's pussy juices, her own pussy is being filled up by Jasper. This causes (Y/N) to moan again, an ear piercing scream more than a moan, actually. Which, truth be told, she was embarrassed by it - knowing other people were in the house but she tried not to think about it. All she could actually focus on was Alice and Jasper. That, and her coming down from her peak. Slowly, with a hiss leaving his lips, Jasper pulls out and plops down onto the bed, next to both of his lovely women. "That was fun." Alice said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Jasper's cheek.  "So, you aren't mad at me?" She asked, pulling back as she reached over to pull (Y/N) into her arms. 

"Not at all, darlin'. I love you. You know that. Nothing in the world could ever replace or erase my feelings towards you, Alice. It was... unexpected, sure, but I'm happy." Jasper looked over at Alice and (Y/N). "I'm happy with the both of you. And, (Y/N)? I love you, too. I promise, I didn't forget about ya." He said with a low laugh. He kisses Alice first before bending forward and kissing (Y/N) sweetly. "I only have one question left... how does she know about us? About what we are?" "It's kind of obvious." (Y/N) replied, looking up from playing with Alice's fingers and shot Jasper a sheepish smile. "Like Bella did beforehand, I put everything together and it made a lot of sense the more and more I looked at it. That and Emmett told me. Well, I take that back... he didn't exactly tell me but I knew something was odd when I saw you lot at the cafeteria and saw him, carrying a random plastic baggie of eggs. It isn't the most human thing in the world to eat like that. 

Especially with them, being spoiled and rotten, which they were, by the way. You all tried to be secretive and hide who you were but.. you didn't do it exactly well. And again, I did what Bella did. I straight up asked her too if you guys were what I thought you were.  And having known Bella since we were kids, I could tell when she was telling the truth and when she was lying." (Y/N) took a deep breath before continuing. "Plus, I knew things were, uh... supernatural, I guess is the right word here.... anyways, it was when Bella drastically changed. Not only in personality but in everything else. So, I just... kind of figured it out and placed everything together. And like I said, Emmett and Bella practically told me." "Edward truly married a girl who made an oath to keep us and what we are a secret yet easily announced what we are to an old and dear friend... No offense, (Y/N)." "None taken." "I still say I should've snapped her neck at her birthday party then." "Jasper!" "Wait, you tried to do what?" "Anyways, all that matters is we have each other and there isn't any secrets between us." He said, quick to change the subject. "I love you, gals." Speechless and flabbergasted, (Y/N) says she loved him too, Alice following along. Sure, they were vampires and they could easily kill her at any given moment but (Y/N) trusted them. Not only them but the Cullen's as well. (Although, Jasper and Alice, of course, were her favorites out of the bunch.) (Y/N) was now happily part of the Cullen's and was dating the two most wonderful people in the  world and she couldn't want it any other way. (Of course... she did want to be like them. But that's a conversation for another day.) (Little did (Y/N) know, however, Alice already had seen the both of them - her and Jasper - taking turns and turning her into one of them. For obvious reasons, she never brought this up, though. Alice was just happy to know in the end, they'd all be together, forever.)

[morganaspendragonss]

dancing on the edge of something new

huge thanks to alice ( @reyeslonestar ) for letting me talk this through with her at midnight when it was causing me huge trouble 🥰

five dances in tk and carlos’s life

ao3 | 2.3k | @911fluffweek day 3: getting together // dancing

i.

TK looks over when Carlos slides off the hood of the Camaro, his hand trailing after him until he’s forced to let go. Carlos is smiling almost shyly, shifting from one foot to the other, and TK can’t help but smile back, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Carlos?” he prompts, confusion growing as no explanation is forthcoming. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I just, uh…” He bites his lip, then takes a decisive step forward and holds out a hand, cocking a brow suggestively. “Wanna dance?”

TK laughs. “Seriously?” he asks, but he’s already sitting up and placing his hand in Carlos’s, allowing him to pull him off the car and to his feet.

“Well”—Carlos shrugs, yanking TK close and smiling at the oof he makes when their chests collide—“it’s how we began, isn’t it? I figured, if we’re starting again, then it feels only right, no?”

TK stares, stuck dumb, unable to do anything but follow Carlos’s lead as his arms slip around his waist, guiding them into a gentle sway. He rests his own hands on Carlos’s chest, the realisation that he gets to do this now—gets to touch Carlos and be with him like this—hitting him all over again. To think he almost threw it all away… Well, none of that matters anymore. What matters is that they’re here, dancing in a field with no music save for the shuffle of their feet in the grass and the occasional bird or cricket, like a pair of lovesick idiots in a romcom.

And he’s never been happier.

He slides his hands up until his arms are resting loosely around Carlos’s shoulders, fingers playing with the stray curls at the nape of his neck. He stares into those familiar brown eyes, so full of warmth and light, Carlos cast in the beautiful glow of the Northern Lights above them, and TK feels an intense feeling take root in his chest. It’s not love—not yet—but it will be.

He can’t imagine not falling in love with Carlos Reyes.

ii.

The club lights strobe around them, bathing the room alternately in lurid colours and strange shadows. The place is packed, the doors practically straining on their hinges, but the only thing TK is aware of is Carlos’s body moving against his own, their movements perfectly in sync with each other.

It’s been a while since they were last about to do this, to come out and just let loose for the night. In fact, TK thinks the last time might have been when they were out with Paul what seems like a lifetime ago; so much has changed since, and TK feels like a completely different person to who he was back then.

He and Carlos have officially been together for a few months now, but it’s like the universe has been working to stop them from actually being able to enjoy it. They’ve managed to squeeze in some dates here and there, but between the shooting, the solar storm, TK’s medical leave, and weeks of opposing shifts, getting a moment to themselves has been difficult.

But now, finally, they have one. And TK is going to milk it for all it’s worth.

He turns slightly in Carlos’s grasp, his head tilting up to catch his lips in a searing kiss. Carlos grips TK’s hips tighter, pulling them flush against his own as he deepens the kiss, and TK gasps, a sharp thrill shooting down his spine.

The night stretches out blissfully in front of them, the knowledge that this isn’t just a fling that will end with the cold light of dawn making it all the sweeter. It’s still a little surreal, even now, but it also feels so damn right.

TK’s heart hammers in time with the music and he sinks into Carlos’s hold, losing himself in his heat.

iii.

It’s not that TK never felt at home at the condo. The opposite in fact; Carlos’s place had been home even before he could officially call it his, and he feels the loss of it keenly. The thing is, though, even after he’d fully moved in, it had been a struggle to think of it as theirs.

It had been home, sure, but it had also been Carlos’s place.

Carlos had found it a little funny, and it had taken several slip-ups on TK’s part and just as many gentle corrections on his for TK to get used to our dining room, and our bedroom, and our house.

And then—well. Just as he’d started to get used to it, it was all gone. Ashes. It hurt, deeply, but TK knew that it was his turn to be the one to lean on, to let Carlos be the one to set the pace. Carlos had lived there for years, after all, and what was TK’s month compared to that?

Really, anywhere that Carlos is would be home, but this—holding the keys to a house they’d picked out together, a house they’d signed the lease for together, a house they’d picked the furnishings for together—feels like coming home. 

He hates that it was the condo burning down that got them to this stage, but TK can’t stop a grin from emerging on his face as he slips his key into the lock.

He finds Carlos in the kitchen, humming and shimmying to a song playing from the speakers. To his credit, TK really does try to bite back his laughter, but he can’t quite manage it, letting out a loud snort which has Carlos stopping in his tracks, flushing a deep red.

“I see the unpacking’s going well,” he says, walking over to the kitchen counter and leaning a hip against it. 

“It was, actually,” Carlos defends, still blushing. “I didn’t realise you’d be back this soon.”

TK shakes his head; as adorable as Carlos’s embarrassment is, he needs to let him know he’s not making fun. “You can relax, babe. You know I always love seeing you move those hips.”

“Mmm, don’t I know it.” Carlos leans in and kisses him, lingering a moment before pulling back, a wide smirk on his face. “How about you help me finish unpacking here and we’ll see about showing you more of that hip action later?”

TK grumbles, but does as he’s told, the two of them falling into a comfortable rhythm as they work to getting their house in order. It’s ended up being the perfect blend of their different styles, which probably shouldn’t work together, but somehow do, and TK loves it here. They both do, he knows—nothing will ever replace what they lost in the fire, but being able to build a home together is beyond special.

He keeps sneaking glances at Carlos as the afternoon goes on—sue him, his boyfriend is built like a Greek god—and TK smiles when he realises Carlos has started dancing again. He probably doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, which makes the whole thing so much better.

TK watches for a while, then walks up to Carlos and taps him on the shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?” he asks, gesturing to the wooden spoons he was twirling around.

There’s a brief moment of confusion, before Carlos’s eyes light up with realisation. He barely wastes a second in tossing the spoons aside (though, it’s more like a careful placement in the correct drawer) and grabs TK by the hand, sending him into a literal spin.

TK laughs, taking a moment to right himself after the sudden movement caused him to stumble inelegantly. Neither of them are in time with the music as they dance around the kitchen, carefully avoiding the boxes still scattered around, but it’s not important. 

For the first time in his life, TK feels fully, completely at home. It’s not a feeling he wants to let go of.

iv.

“I think they were expecting something slower,” TK murmurs, burying a laugh in Carlos’s neck. Their guests are all wearing expressions with varying degrees of shock, and he can’t really blame them—he’s pretty sure the last thing anyone expects to hear during a first dance at a wedding is a country song. “I still can’t believe you even remember it.”

Carlos shrugs. “I still can’t believe you don’t. It is our song, after all.”

TK rolls his eyes, remembering their first conversation on this topic months ago, back when they were still sorting out all the wedding minutiae. 

“‘Our’ song, babe?” he’d said, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Why, because we danced to it for five minutes before leaving to get off in the bathroom?”

“Exactly,” Carlos had replied, his tone so serious that TK wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not. He’d rolled his eyes and lightly shoved at TK’s shoulder. “No, babe. Because it was the first time we danced together on the night that we met. That’s special, right, even if it did only last five minutes?”

TK hadn’t exactly been able to argue that one, and he has to admit now that it was a pretty good choice. If only to see the way Judd almost choked on his champagne in surprise when the song started.

It’s a little untraditional and, if he’s being honest, TK had never thought that one day he would be getting married in Texas on his new husband’s family ranch, with their first dance being to a ‘cowboy song’, as he’d once called it, much to Carlos’s horror. But he and Carlos have never been ones for tradition, and TK wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It’s perfect,” he admits, his eyes never leaving Carlos’s. He stops the dance, not caring that the song is still playing, and steps closer, pressing their bodies together. Everything else fades into the background as he leans up and kisses Carlos, barely moving when they break apart. “I love you, Husband.”

Carlos’s face lights up in a grin that could rival the sun in its brightness. “I love you too, Husband.”

v.

Music is floating through the door when TK gets home, and it’s enough to alleviate the weight he’s been carrying all day. It’s not that it had been a bad shift per se (though, when your standards for a good day are ‘nobody dies’, your view tends to get a bit skewed) but it had been long and tiring, and he’d missed his family desperately.

Sometimes, he still can’t believe this is really his life. But Ana, now three, has been living with them for a year already, and TK can’t imagine their home without her anymore. She’d been a blessing, coming into their lives after years of fighting to get on adoption registers, right when they were beginning to despair of ever managing it.

They did, though, and now TK gets to come home to scenes like this. 

Scenes like Ana standing on Carlos’s toes as he guides her slowly around the room in a basic dance. TK watches for a moment before getting his phone out and hitting record; he’ll be damned if he misses the opportunity to get this on film.

Carlos, having heard him enter, rolls his eyes when he sees what TK’s doing, but flashes him a quick smile before returning his focus to Ana. She hasn’t noticed TK’s entrance, her face scrunched up in deep concentration as she grips onto Carlos’s hands as tight as she possibly can.

When the music ends, Ana claps her hands and giggles. TK takes the moment to make his presence known, dropping to his knees and holding his arms out. She barrels into him, almost knocking him over, and presses her face into his chest, her tiny hands creating creases in his uniform shirt.

“Hi, sweetheart,” TK murmurs, dropping a kiss in her hair. He gently detaches her from him and manoeuvers them until she’s sitting in his lap. “Looks like you guys were having fun while I was at work.”

She nods enthusiastically. “Papa was teaching me to dance! Abuela showed me photos when I was with her and Abuelo and I wanted to be just like her!”

“Abuela got out the photo albums again, huh?”

Ana nods again. “Of her… Her…” She frowns and looks up at Carlos.

“Her china poblana dresses,” Carlos says softly, smiling as Ana grins and points at him. 

TK laughs and draws his daughter into a hug, rocking them gently, his gaze going up to Carlos. “Well, from what I saw, you were dancing even better than Papa,” he says, smirking as Carlos gasps in mock offence. He looks back down at Ana, tapping on the back of her hand. “You know,” he starts, smiling, “I think I might need some dancing lessons too. Think you can teach me?”

Ana lights up and immediately gets to her feet, as if she’d been waiting for him to ask. She grabs TK’s hand and pulls him up, leading him to where Carlos must have cleared a space for them earlier. The music begins to play again and TK lets his daughter take charge, playfully sticking his tongue out at Carlos when he laughs at TK getting firmly told off for putting his foot in the wrong place.

At some point, Carlos joins the dance, the three of them stepping and bouncing around the front room. Ana’s laughter fills the house, shrieking with delight when Carlos sweeps her from the floor and wraps both her and TK in his arms. TK leans his head on his husband’s shoulder, a hand placed on their daughter’s back, and breathes out slowly, all the exhaustion from earlier forgotten. 

At last, he’s home.

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Blood red mist (Jasper Hale x Reader) Chapter 3

Warnings: mentions of death

Word count: 1.1k

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No one told you what it was like to die. You guess, everyone had their stories about going towards a bright light or seeing the people you loved, your life flash before your eyes, but not you. Your death, felt a little more different to the ones people described in the movies. It started with nothing, absolute nothingness, and then red hot flames. It was like someone had doused you in fuel and strikes a match. Your skin was burning. Then, red mist. Blood red mist. Swirling all around you, through you. Then nothing again for a while, you didn’t know how long it had been.

Until one day, you weren’t dead anymore. You were born again. New born.

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-Your pov-

The first thing you knew when you woke up on the metal surgical table was, well, you had died. The memories came flashing back to you in an instant, walking through town with Nessie, being stabbed, looking up at Sam and then.. Japer. You rose slowly, and by slowly you actually meant fast, your hand leaving a dent in the metal below you. You could hear everything, see everything, smell everything, your senses were on a trip, sensory overload.

You looked in the mirror at the corner of the room. Wow. Obviously Alice had dressed you, a tight black dress hugging your form. When you were human, you’d been a little chubby, but now, it all seemed to be toned and curvy, the dress hugging all the right places. Your hair, once dull and lifeless, seemed to flow endlessly and your eyes. Red. As red as the blood that once flowed through your veins. You knew what this meant. You were a vampire. You had no heart beat, your senses were heightened, eyes red, cold skin… and the hunger. A low growl rose from your throat and you grasped it with your icy hands. It burned. You started to panic slightly, no one was here and you were a vampire, you had died. It was all too much. You felt the need to kill. To satiate the hunger. Your eyes glowed. You could smell blood just outside the door, even thought it had a wet dog smell accompanied with it you still craved it. You ran, the hunger too much to contain yourself, blinded by thirst, you whizzed through the Cullen house like a rocket, destroying everything in your path to get to the one thing you wanted most. You were so close, but hands just like yours, stone like and icy grabbed you from all angles, holding you down, you fought and managed to get away until someone wrapped their arms around you so tightly you could hardly move, even with your newborn strength. You new it was Emmett. The only one in the house hold strong enough to even think about subduing a new born. Then in a flash, in front of your crazed eyes, your love, Jasper Hale, trying to calm you, no doubt using his powers, as all of a sudden a wave crashed over you, you didn’t feel as angry or confused, the strong emotions you had been feeling sort of dulled into a buzzing noise in the back of your mind.

“Jas?” Your eyes softened, as you looked at him. He looked tired, if vampires could look tired. He was staring at you, as if you were a dream. You reached out a hand to him, the sunlight beaming through the window, catching your new skin, making it glisten like a thousand tiny diamonds. “Wha-what, what happened, I, I died?” Emmetts grip relaxed slightly, your fiancé, taking you in his arms squeezing you as tight as he could, his face nuzzled in your neck, your hair, then in one swift movement his lips were on yours, he’d missed you so much. Now more than ever, your lips seemed to fit against each others perfectly, your body fit against the curves of his like you were pieces of the same jigsaw.

-A couple of weeks later-

For a new born, apparently you’d shown extreme control, just like Bella had. Maybe it’s because you’d been with the Cullens seeing how they lived their ‘Veggie” diet before you turned. Just because you could control your urges to rip peoples throats out, didn’t mean you didn’t want to do it, sometimes it was all you thought about. But you were learning, and doing well, which is what counted. Jasper was with you constantly, never leaving your side. Literally… it was as if you were two magnets stuck together. He had the most experience in training new borns and he naturally calmed you when he was near anyway, without having to use his powers.

You were still no closer to figuring out who had stabbed you that fateful day. Why would someone go after you? Why was there any reason? All the conflict was over.. wasn’t it?

You had a theory, which was the only one that made sense. The wolves could smell straight away that whoever had stabbed you was a vampire. It would make sense, you didn’t even see the person. They were too fast. Your theory was that, someone from the opposing side of the battle didn’t take too kindly to being out smarted and shown up by your family. They were sending a message, one that had been receive loud and clear.

It was hard to control Japser the day you put your theory forward to the family. They had all suspected something similar but no one had said it out loud until then, lets just say Jasper was more than pissed, he was out for blood. To be honest, so were the wolves. They didn’t take too kindly to vampires killing humans on their turf, especially someone they liked.

The truth in the matter was however, unless the Cullens wanted another war on their hands, there was nothing they could do about it. What proof did they have? What could they do about it anyway? What was done was done, it’s not like you could turn human again, not that you’d want to anyway. As horrible and traumatic as it had been, the fact that you didn’t even have a choice in the matter, you were somewhat grateful to be turned. You were experiencing life just like your partner now, you’d be with him forever, you wouldn’t be the odd one out, missing things because of being too slow, weak, fragile. You were just like the rest of them now. Even better in some senses.

Some vampires were granted gifts with the change. You were one of them. You had what Emmett like to call….

Blood Red Mist.

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Hey! I haven't updated this fic in a long time lol. Atm I feel like I'm finding it difficult to write and IDK whyyyyy. Um, it's a short chapter but I'm hoping to now be able to start going into the story properly no that we've got the change part out of the way!

TAGLIST

@imyourapocalypse

@big-yikers

@one-thread-can-save-a-life

@marina-isabella

@ultcrow

@hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere

[pseudofaux]

No one has asked tor sirius? let me be the first! can we get sirius using a riding crop on mc please? 😌

PLEASE SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER

(Requests are closed, readers, but there are a lot to be filled in May and likely June, too! Feel free to follow along or just check in and enjoy as many as you like. A masterlist will go up when they are all completed.)

“Arms crossed,” he reminds her, not unkindly. Sirius is always at his sweetest when she is brave before pain. He is only sweeter when he’s taking care of her afterwards, his low voice full of praise as he recounts her efforts.

It’s what makes it worth it, honestly. That and the fact that she likes the pain. She settles her wrists one on top of the other over her head. His bed is so long they land short of the pillows, falling onto the clean cotton of his sheets. He always dries them in the sun instead of using magic crystals for the sundry task like so many others do. Sirius cares for and makes his bed like a military man, which explains why the blanket below her back is pulled so perfectly taut.

It won’t stay that way. She knows better. He does, too, that’s why he made the bed so neatly. Maybe a man might like to see how badly you mess it up, little lady. His voice had been so smooth and deep when he said that she nearly feel off her own feet. His dark chuckle when he saw her swaying made his hand at the small of her back a very necessary thing. She was glad for it all.

“Ready?” He asks. He always checks.

She dips her head as politely as she can while laying on her back. She tries to make it elegant, because his maturity always makes her want to meet him there. “Please,” she says.

He acknowledges her with a thoughtful sound and presses the tip of the new crop against her hems. Sirius asked her to pull her skirts up to her thighs—he always does, there’s something specific about that he enjoys— but of course he’ll need more room than that, so he uses the stiff black tongue at the end of the crop to slowly lift her skirt and settle it on her belly. She can feel the stitched black leaf stroking her skin as he sets the skirt down and pulls the crop out from underneath. The tongue of this new one is so beautiful, silver and purple threads making the black look impossibly deep. The way he sometimes makes his whippings feel.

“Right, then,” he says, all warmth and business, and immediately smacks her lightly, high on her legs. Little wake up slaps to get her good and ready for what’s to come. She loves him for it. No one has ever given her pain with such care. She waits as demurely as she can manage.

The first real hit is on her left thigh, and she can feel the shape of the tip of the leaf and a shower of sparks behind her eyes that surely must have fled or danced off the pain, which is hot as liquid metal. And then it has a twin, crisp and cold as a winter bruise, when he slaps her right thigh. She is breathing through her mouth as though that will pull more of this sensation into her body. Her eyes slowly open and he’s breathing through his mouth, too, the dear man.

“How was that?” he asks, voice as hot as liquid metal. His tone is nearly flat and she knows that’s because he’s trying to keep his excitement under wraps. The devil is in her today and won’t let that stand, so she shifts her thighs against one another, pressing the edges of the new marks together, sighs dreamily, and murmurs “Wonderful.” And then through her low-lidded eyes she watches his go wide.

Maybe the devil is in him, too, because he presses the black leaf to the seam of her legs. Just south of the gusset of her panties, so close she feels how it gently grazes her through them and she shudders. Then she parts for him immediately. Sirius mutters “‘Wonderful’, hmm?” and zigzags the tip of the crop between her legs. Wider, that means. Wider she opens. Usually he hits up and down the fronts of her thighs, making patterns he will match at different times (he always gives her the most beautiful marks, and never gives them to her in a pattern she can anticipate, putting her wholly at his whim, exactly where she wants to be). Only then does he has her open for the delicious whipping of her sensitive inner thighs before he turns her over and fucks her abraded skin and mewling mouth into the tumble she’s made of his wool blanket.

But she’s always game to follow his lead at something different. He takes them such wonderful places together, after all. And his bed is so very big and everything on it so freshly laundered.

“Spell ‘wonderful’ for me, Alice,” he says quietly. She nods as though she is curtsying, even though her hands remain above her head, wrists crossed with no restraint. She did tease him, but she’s a good girl.

Just above the inside of her right knee, lightning lands and makes her w more gasp than exhalation.

Two quick smacks high on the left, very high. Her o comes out naturally, though perhaps it is also very high.

Sirius touches the tip of the crop gently against her right thigh again, just as high as he was on the left but so much more gently, the touch is like a fingertip. And indeed, he strokes it all the way down, slow and even, and she catches on and holds her n in the air until he punctuates it with a very sharp hit just above his first mark of this game, and it’s perfect pain, shimmering and oozing and hot, and she sobs with gratitude.

“More letters in that word,” he prompts, but he makes it sound like praise and she starts shaking from the thrill coursing through her entire body, and from her thankfulness for his care and encouragement.

Sirius lets her breathe out the d without any distraction, and an “I love you,” slips out of her instead. He smiles and leans over her to give her a quick kiss, which stills her comfortably.

“You look beautiful,” he says. The praise is warmer than liquid metal. It turns the tingly excitement in her to a more settled bliss. She knows it is still all disorder inside her skin, but the feeling is pleasant, less out of control. Even if she does get out of control, Sirius is right here.

She makes her e clear and slow, slow enough that he can get in a swat. He does, in the vulnerable middle of her left thigh. Both her legs jerk from it.

Need. She has so much need. He does not make her wait. He gently grinds the tip of the crop into her right thigh and murmurs “Right here.” She nods and the r becomes an “ar-uh!” when he quickly straightens himself and brings the tip back down, flat and with great force. He looked like a swordsman and she is sweating like a damsel deep in the mist blissful distress.

He lets her pant for a moment and strokes her legs with comfortable touch. Surely he feels the heat he’s made. She knows he knows it is there. It’s probably why he ignores it for now.

“I liked how you held the e,” he says. “Do that again with the next one. And eyes on the ceiling, Alice, don’t make me remind you again.”

It feels like she holds the f for a long time, but when he does bring the crop down it’s on her belly, and there is more breath than she thought she had left to go out of her in a hiss. It wasn’t a sharp hit but it was unexpected and heavens, does it concentrate the way her panties rest against her, squishy and wet.

Her u is so pathetic she can feel the way he stops in midair. She clears her throat and apologizes. In her head she makes it right, I-love—

“You,” Sirius says over her letter, and brings the crop down on her mons. The cotton over her is a pillow that absorbs the smack. But not all of it. Still, her groan is from knowing what comes next—or so she dearly hopes— than from the hit itself.

“Wait on the next one for a moment,” he tells her, and gives her a series of lashes on the tops of her thighs, shifting the heat again, putting her closer to where they usually go.

“That’s better,” Sirius says warmly. “What comes next?”

“L,” she whispers.

“That’s right,” he says. “Look at me, Alice.”

His face is flushed and smiling. He’s the picture of good health and humor, and he makes her want to launch herself into his arms and cling to him, but she stays put and waits for what he’ll say or do.

“How do you feel?” he asks. As though he doesn’t know.

“Wonderful,” she says honestly. “And agitated.”

He laughs and leans down to kiss her forehead. “Do you want to take these,” he whispers, poking her slit directly with the crop so she gasps under his chin “Off, or leave them on?”

“I want you to take them off,” she breathes. She’s allowed to be honest, he always wants her to be honest. “When you want to,” she adds.

His hum is so low it rumbles and she can feel how soaked she already is by the way more arousal slips out of her at the sound. “Wear them just a little longer, then,” he murmurs, and stands back up.

Sirius clears his throat into his fist. “Eyes,” he reminds her, and hers zip back to the ceiling. “Last letter?” he asks.

The crop comes down with perfect force on the wet cotton before she even says her l, so it is a song coming out of her, her need sharper than the slap, hot enough to stop an entire winter. Her hands grip one another so tightly she can feel her arms trembling.

He’s slipping her panties off her hips with careful hands. She nearly asks where the crop is before she realizes how impertinent that would be, and how grateful she is to feel his gloves. The air of the room feels so very cool on her heated flesh; his touch stabilizes her as he drags the sodden fabric off her legs, and it keeps her from feeling lost.

“Very good,” he tells her. The words are somewhat tense and she dares to allow her eyes to drift to him. He catches her doing it, of course, and smiles from behind the glove he’s just pulled off with his teeth. “That’s not so good, but I’ll allow it,” he drawls, tossing it behind him. “I’d say you’ve still earned a reward.”

He sits beside her on the bed and she babbles out overexcited thanks until he kisses her and slips his tongue into her mouth and two fingers into her sex, and then she is not sure she could spell if her life depended on it.

Thankfully he doesn’t ask her to.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

I’ve Been Looking for the Sunshine

For @baloobird (@friendly-neighborhood-exchange)

Rating: G

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, May Parker, Ben Parker

Summary: Eleven years after the death of his parents and two years after the death of his uncle, Peter finds comfort in Tony Stark.

Prompt: Peter has a rough day at school so Tony picks him up early and finds a way to cheer him up.

Tag List: @justrepostandlove @gasplaughgasp @canonismybitch @shadedrose01 @baloobird @whatisawilltolive @a-liddell-alice @you-know-i-larb-you-3000 @hold-our-destiny @lyssismagical @spideygirl2003 @make-the-stars-stay @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed @iron-loyalty Read on ao3

Richard Parker was twenty four years old when his wife handed him a pregnancy test with a pink plus sign on it. He felt his face break into a wide grin and he scooped her into his arms with a laugh.

He was twenty five years old when he held his baby boy for the first time and he fell instantly in love. Up until he held his son in his arms, he had been nervous that he would be a terrible father and that he had no idea what he was doing. But looking down at little Peter, Richard knew that he’s mess up a thousand times, he would never be the perfect father, but as long as Peter knew he was safe and loved, it didn’t matter.

When a baby is born, there’s a few days before it really seems like they’ve gained consciousness. Richard got to witness that moment. He leaned over Peter’s crib and saw his boy looking back up at him. Peter’s face broke into a wide, gummy smile and blinked happily up at his dad. Richard was honest enough to say he cried and immediately called Mary into the room.

“Mom and I will just be gone for a few days, okay?” Richard asked. Peter nodded. “Remember to be good for Uncle Ben and Aunt May.” Another nod. “Good boy,” Richard patted Peter’s cheek affectionately. “We’ll be back before you know it.” 

Peter frowned, “Promise?” 

Richard smiled, “I promise.” He pulled Peter into a hug, pressing a kiss to his son’s curly mess of hair. When Peter pulled back, Richard did as well. He pressed another kiss to Peter’s forehead. “I love you, buddy. I’ll see you on Tuesday.” 

Ben Parker was twenty six years old when he got a phone call telling him his brother and his sister-in-law had died in a plane crash. He was twenty six when he became the legal guardian of his nephew, Peter. 

It was no surprise to May or Ben that Richard and Mary’s death hit Peter hard. But with a child suddenly being put into their care, they couldn’t afford to put Peter through any sort of grief counseling. Many nights a week, Ben would sit with Peter in his bed, trying desperately to get the kid to fall asleep. Often times only for Peter to wake up in the middle of the night asking for his parents through thick curtains of tears.

When Ben was thirty three, Peter turned thirteen and Ben realized that he had now been Peter’s guardian longer than Richard had been his dad. 

When Peter was fifteen years old, he watched his uncle die. He watched rain spread the blood down the pavement, making the wound almost look clean. But Peter knew better. He held his uncle’s hand while he died, ambulance sirens roaring from blocks away. 

With his last moments, Ben reached a hand up to Peter’s cheek and said painfully, “You’re going to be okay, kid.” 

Peter clutched Ben’s hand to his cheek. He wanted so desperately to apologize, to thank him, to say anything, but Peter couldn’t find the will in him to make more than a strangled sound as he desperately hugged his uncle. 

Ben was gone before the ambulance even reached them. 

Peter is seventeen years old and he doesn’t know if he can manage to pull himself out of his bed. 

But he hears May moving in the kitchen and if she can do it, so can he. She was the one that really knew them, not Peter. So with a heavy sigh, Peter sits up and pulls open his blinds. The sky is covered with a thick layer of clouds. Good, Peter thinks, he doesn’t know if he could have handled sunshine today. Peter takes his time getting ready for school, fog weighing heavily on his mind. 

When he makes his way into the kitchen for some breakfast, May stops where she’s pouring herself a glass of water and envelops Peter into a hug. On days like today, Peter wishes he hadn’t had his growth spurt so he would fit perfectly into her arms. But he settles for just putting his head on her shoulder. When they pull apart, May gives him a sad look. 

“You sure you want to go to school today?” May asks. 

“Yeah,” Peter shrugs her worries off. “It’ll be good to get out of the apartment.” 

“Okay, baby.” 

Peter walks slowly to school, barely making it to first period in time. Both Ned and MJ give him supportive smiles as he sits down. The first part of the day passes like a blur, Peter couldn’t say a single thing that happened to him. He knew that Ned was constantly a pillar at his side, squeezing his hand occasionally. And for all her snark, MJ was taking care of him too. It didn’t escape his notice that she was taking notes for him in all of their classes. 

That is until Peter finds himself alone in the hallway, Ned and MJ having split off to their respective classes, leaving Peter to find his on his own. He just ducks his head and keeps walking, muscle memory taking him to his next class. Out of nowhere, someone shoves him and slams him up against the lockers, keeping him there with their forearm. 

Flash looks at him with a smirk, “What’s wrong with you, Penis?” 

Peter sighs, “You ask me that every day. What do you want to make fun of me for this time?” Peter asks, his voice almost dead pan. “I’m scrawny? I’m smart? I’m ace? Pick your poison.” 

Flash looks at him in confusion, but before the bully can say anything, Peter shoves Flash off of him, using just enough of his super strength to make him stumble. With that Peter walks down the now empty hall. But before he can get very far, someone grabs on to his backpack, yanking him backwards. 

Peter lets out a noise of surprise as suddenly a fist collides with his cheek. Normally, Peter’s spider-sense would warn him of something like that, but not in this moment. The punch impacts Peter more than he expected and he goes crashing back into the lockers. Some sick part of Peter’s mind tells him that he deserves it. 

Peter sees the second punch coming and dodges out of the way. At this point, Peter is far too mentally exhausted to deal with any more of Flash’s shit so he jumps to his feet and runs straight out the front doors of the school. 

He thinks about calling May, but Peter decides against it and instead plops down on the cold stairs. The sting of the punch is already fading back into the dull numbness he’s been feeling all day. Peter doesn’t know how long he sits on the steps of the school. No one approaches him and no one passing on the street spares him a passing glance. 

The cloud breaks after a little bit, allowing the sun to pass over the city. Peter sags a bit further, of course the sky is taunting him. But he is pulled from his thoughts only moments later when a sleek black car rolls up in front of Midtown and from the driver’s side steps out Tony Stark. He gives Peter a wave and beckons him over. 

Peter goes eagerly and sits in the passenger seat, shoving his backpack by his feet. “What are you doing here?” Peter asks once Tony is sitting back down. 

“May called, said you were probably having a rough day and she wanted me to pick you up early.” 

“Oh.” Peter pulls his feet up onto the seat and tucks his knees to his chest. He glances over at Tony and sees an expression of pity and concern on his face. “She told you what today is, didn’t she?” 

“Yeah, kid.” Tony reaches over and squeezes Peter’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Peter shakes his head and looks out the window, “All I want to do is not exist.” 

Tony sighs, “I understand the feeling, kiddo. But I’m afraid that’s not possible with our current technology. Would you settle for some ice cream and maybe a movie or two?” 

“Cookie dough?” Peter asks quietly, glancing back at Tony.

Tony smiles, “What other flavor is there?” A faint smile crossed Peter’s lips. 

Once they get to the tower and up to the living room, Tony lovingly forces Peter to sit on the couch while he goes and gets the ice cream from the freezer. Peter immediately tugs the softest blanket into his lap and toes off his shoes. When Tony sits down beside Peter, the boy instantly curls into his mentor’s side, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder and his knees against Tony’s stomach. Six months ago Peter never would have fathomed being this openly affectionate with Tony, but now Peter couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Tony wraps his arms around the boy’s shoulders and hugs him closer. 

As Peter takes his first bite of ice cream, he suddenly feels just a little bit better. The cold ice cream starts to clear some of the fog from his mind. 

While Peter eats, Tony picks a movie. It’s something animated, light and not too deep. Perfect. It doesn’t escape Peter’s notice that Tony has the volume just low enough that if Peter wanted to say something he could. 

While the opening credits roll, Tony reaches up and begins to run his fingers through Peter’s hair. Peter preens into the touch and sags further into Tony’s side. Peter says nothing for a while, but it’s clear that he’s clearly thinking deeply about something.

“Tony?” Peter asks softly when the movie’s almost over. 

“Mmhm?” 

“Do you think my parents are mad at me?” 

Tony frowns and rubs his arm, “Why would you think that, buddy?” 

Peter shugs, “Because I don’t remember them. They died eleven years ago and all I could do today was try to remember them. I only know what they look like because May shows me pictures sometimes, but I don’t remember the sounds of their voices and I don’t remember anything we did together, I-I don’t even remember the last thing they said to me. I-” 

Peter cuts himself off with a sob that tears Tony’s heart in two. Tony immediately sits up and crushes Peter to his chest. Peter clings to his mentor just as tightly, sobbing into his shirt. “I’ve got you, bambino.” Tony gently runs his fingers through Peter’s hair, rocking him slightly back and forth. Tony whispers words of comfort to the boy. 

After a few minutes, Peter lifts his head, wipes his nose on his sleeve and murmurs, “Sorry.” 

“Hey,” Tony squeezes his shoulder, “you never need to be sorry for crying, okay?” Peter nods shakily and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “Can I tell you something?” Peter nods. “I don’t remember much about my mother either. I have a few memories, but I know that my mother would never be upset with me for not remembering. I think she’d be happy that I’m moving on with my life. I didn’t know your parents, or your uncle, but I know that if I were to die, I wouldn’t be upset about people forgetting me. I’d be happy that they kept living.” Tony gives Peter a sad smile. 

“Listen, kid, when someone passes, the last thing they want is for the people who love them to stay in their sadness forever. I bet that your parents and your uncle are so proud of the person you’ve become.” Tony squeezes Peter’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to still feel grief over their deaths, but it’s also okay to keep living. Because the people who’re gone aren’t really ever gone, right?” Peter nods tearfully and tucks himself back into Tony’s arms. 

Tony leans back, pulling the kid to rest more on his chest. “It’s going to be okay, bambino, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.” 

Richard, Mary, and Ben are gone. They’re gone but they’ve never stopped loving their son and their nephew. They’ve watched Peter grow up and start to change the world around him. And though they wish they could be there with him to hug him and tell him it’ll be alright, they know that in time they’ll all be together again. And while they wait for him, they’re content to know that Tony Stark is taking good care of him. 

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Journeys end in lovers meeting - Sam/Deena - Bly Manor AU

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier/Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Constance (Fear Street Part 3: 1666), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Alice (Fear Street Part 2: 1978), Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Solomon Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The Haunting of Bly Manor AU, Not Canon Compliant, Haunted Houses, Ghosts, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canon Lesbian Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Au Pair Sam, Gardener Deena, Housekeeper Kate, Cook Simon, Josh and Constance as troubled kids, Ziggy and Nick in an unhealthy relationship, minor Cindy/Alice, Martin cameos, special appearances of all the Shadyside killers as ghosts, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Rest Is Confetti Summary: The year is 1994. Samantha Fraser recently moved to Shadyside, and she desperately needs a job that will help her leave her troubled past behind. She starts working as au pair at Shadyside Manor, where she is not the only one tortured by ghosts. Grief, regrets, guilt, innocent victims, and an ancient curse. At the center of all of it... love.

Chapter 4:

Sam really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but it was a hectic day for everyone but here. It was an accident, really. She just wanted a glass of water, but when she heard Deena and Kate arguing in the kitchen, she stopped before reaching the doorway, and couldn’t help but listen.

“Are you seriously not going?” Deena was saying.

“No, Deena,” Kate replied, in a tone that made it obvious it wasn’t the first time she said so. “I’ll only go to a funeral when I’m dead, thank you very much.”

“Maybe I should kill you then,” Deena grumbled. In the hallway, Sam fought back a smile at the grumpiness of the gardener. “He’s your platonic husband and you’re letting him down in the most fucking tragic day of his life, Kate.”

“He understands,” Kate snapped back at her. “Besides, we’ve let each other down before.”

--

Eavesdropping on teenagers feels even worse. But Sam can’t help herself, again. She just seems to be at the right place at the right time, and nobody hears her coming. She was just looking for Constance and Josh when she found them talking in the classroom in whispers. She worried they might have been planning something unwise, so she listened in for a moment.

“Do you think they can follow us?” Constance asked in a whisper.

“No, I don’t think it works like that,” Josh replied.

The girl hummed thoughtfully and then added, in a considerably more distressed tone, “Do you think they’ll try to stop us?”

“Shh! Constance!” Josh stopped her. “Let’s just… see what happens, okay? We’re in this together, right? All of us.”

Sam considered intervening, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. She could barely keep track of their changing moods or Constance’s name. In the end, she walked away, deciding to keep an eye out and studying them more closely when she had the chance.

--

Sam had tried her best, but she really had nothing else to do at the moment. It was strange, having a day mostly free from her responsibilities as au pair. Deena would be taking Josh and Constance with her to Simon’s mom’s funeral. A little lost in her thoughts without anything else to do while they all got ready, Sam took a seat near the bottom of the stairs, looking out at the gardens she could see through the open door. It started out as a particularly sunny day, not at all something you’d expect for a funeral.

The au pair was leaning against the railing of the stairs. A little behind her, under the safety and familiarity of the manor’s shadows, Harry Rooker stood perfectly still. His clothes hadn’t changed at all in all the decades he had been wandering those halls, even his bowtie was in still place. The same couldn’t be said about his face though. The passing of the years, one after another, had slowly washed away his features. His eyes were no longer there, his mouth was barely noticeable and his nose wouldn’t likely last long. The burn on the side of his face, which had hurt him so much during the war and cost him so much even after his return, was still there, stubbornly, almost mocking him. As well as his knife, always in his hand, always sharp. Never being useful anymore.

The sound of a heavy pair of boots coming down the stairs, as often, disturbed the peace of the foyer. Sam tried not to look too excited as she turned her head to look at Deena descend the stairs, but when she saw the gardener’s outfit she probably failed to hide her pleased reaction.

“Hi,” Sam gasped a little and stood up, “You look…”

“Like I remembered how to take a shower?” Deena smirked. She reached the bottom of the stairs and showed off her clothes, consisting of all black pants, shirt, and blazer that fit her perfectly, made her look a little too good for a funeral, if Sam had to give her honest opinion.

“Like a waiter,” Sam said, biting her lip to keep that honest opinion from spilling out.

“Hey! Didn’t know that side of you, Sunnyvale. Rude,” Deena replied, smiling the entire time. When her expression softened a little, she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay staying here by yourself?”

“Yes, t’s okay. Besides, Kate’s here too.”

Deena made an unamused sound. “Sometimes it feels like she isn’t,” she murmured.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed quietly. Before the silence could stretch for too long, she spoke up again. “Anyway, I, um, had to… be present in a funeral, not too long ago. It’s… I can’t, again. Not yet.”

As she spoke, Sam couldn’t look Deena in the eyes. Not when the only thing in her mind was Sunnyvale. Peter. Her mother. Peter. Twentyfive entitled children in a classroom. Peter. A heavy engagement ring and suffocating wedding dress. Peter.

But it didn’t start like that. It started with her father getting sick, her mother being cruel enough to divorce him on the spot to save herself from taking care of him, and Sam being already in Sunnyvale, thirty minutes away, when he finally died. It started with her mother wrapping her in her best dress, too old for her already, and dragging her to the neighbors house, because they were rich, and look at that handsome young boy, he already has his eyes on you! They were only eight. But then they were twelve, and Peter got in a fight for her and felt entitled to her attention ever since, and nobody ever told her she didn’t have to give him anything she didn’t want to. So when he demanded it, she gave him a kiss, a second date, the color of her prom dress so he could get a matching tie. She gave and she gave until she didn’t know what else he could take from her, but everyone made her feel like she still owed him. So she gave hiim a second chance when he first hit her, and she gave him her bags when he told her to move in with him, she gave him a third and fourth chance, and she gave him the answer he wanted when he offered her a wedding ring.

“Sam? Are you okay?”

In the blink of an eye, Sam was back in Shadyside Manor, with Deena’s gentle hands on her elbows, anchoring her to reality, and those warm brown eyes worriedly searching her face, not knowing what horrors they could find behind the walls Sam spent a lifetime building.

“Yes,” Sam blurted out. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“Right,” Deena nodded and slowly stepped away from the au pair. “Well, I’m leaving now. Try to come up with something real to tell me when I return, okay?”

Sam suddenly couldn’t come up with any words so she nodded, smiled, and watched holding her breath as Deena walked away from her, not without glancing over her shoulder by the door.

--

Sam stood awkwardly in the middle of the chapel. She had made it too far to turn around now, but she didn’t dare move closer and interrupt Kate who appeared to be praying. Except, before Sam made up her mind about her next move, Kate spoke up without turning around.

“Are you just going to stand there like a ghost?”

“Sorry,” Sam blushed. “Uh, how did you know I was-”

“I have eyes on the back of my head, darling,” Kate replied with a smile and finally turned around.

“Am I interrupting you?”

“No, it’s okay,” Kate softened. “I’m not a funeral type of person. I deal with loss in my own way.” 

“I get it,” Sam nodded. She found the courage to continue walking closer to the other woman.

“If you ask me,” Kate continued, somewhat unprompted, “This is more for our own comfort.” She nodded her head to the side, indicating the five red little candles burning. “You have to be there for people while they’re still alive. Simon gave his entire life for his mother. I’ve been there with him for most of the journey, in ways that I know count so much more than missing out on one tragic goodbye party.”

Again, Sam nodded. She took a seat down on one of the pews close to Kate. She really didn’t want to think about the funerals in her own life. Her mother made sure they arrived late and left early for Sam's father’s funeral. And then a few months ago…

“You two are very close,” she blurted out. It was a statement, a question, and mostly just a way to get Kate to keep talking.

“Best friends since childhood,” Kate said and she wore one of the most genuine smiles Sam had seen on her. “We kissed once, and afterward I punched him in the face. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Which might be the best and worst part about our friendship.”

“What do you mean?”

This time Kate took her time before replying. Her smile was gone.

“Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to leave Shadyside and see the world. But there was nothing that could have convinced Simon to leave his mom. He missed a chance to work at a restaurant in Paris, I missed my chance to see the world, but we have each other. We have each other and ninety-nine percent of the time it feels like the right choice.”

The remaining one percent of the time hung in the air of the chapel so heavily it was almost palpable.

“What about now?” Sam asked, not without a good amount of hesitation.

The meaning of her question was obvious. Simon wasn’t tethered to Shadyside anymore. However, there was no answer from the housekeeper. Kate chuckled sadly, completely dismissing the idea of grabbing a bag of her best clothes and her best friend’s hand and moving away to Paris any day now. Instead, she stood up and threw the little box of matches for Sam to catch.

“What?” Why?” The au pair looked back and forth between the matches and Kate.

“Light a candle,” Kate replied. She noticed the confusion in Sam’s face, but the au pair, unknowingly, carried her heart, broken and hopeful at once, on her sleeve. “Dead people, regrets, protection, good luck,” Kate said while methodically fixing the wrinkles on her red skirt, checking her ponytail, and mindlessly passing her hand over the back of her neck. “Everything counts.”

Sam stayed silent. She watched Kate walk out of the chapel and then she moved toward the candles. She moved almost automatically, lighting up the first match, but then she couldn’t bring herself to actually light the candle. The small flame burned bright for a second, highlighting the sadness in Sam’s blue eyes, but she let it die before reaching for a candle. }

Eventually, Sam decided to light up a new match and light up a single candle at random. Not for dead people, and not for her attempts at forgetting about them, but for the time she had wasted trying to please people that did nothing but hurt her for so long.

On the way out of the chapel, Sam made the mistake of glancing at the windows. Of course he was still there. He would never leave her, would he? She had seen him angry at her more times than she could count, but never like that. That expression of outstanding disgust and fury was forever etched in Sam’s memory of him. He was just a shadow, he was pure darkness in the shape of a man she once knew. But Sam had to look away and walk as fast as she could away from him, fearing that any day now his image would definitely leave the restrained space of reflective surfaces and finally kill her, like she had killed him.

--

“Dinner… is served!” Simon announced with a flourish.

Simon and Deena dropped several bags on the kitchen table and they chuckled when everyone else eagerly jumped forward to look at the contents spilling on the table. 

“There’s nothing like an absurd amount of junk food to fix all your problems,” he smiled proudly at the scene in front of him. All the people closest to him with smiles on their faces, exchanging a warm meal and easy conversation. His smile turned just nostalgic enough, thinking about his mother, the woman who taught him that lesson. She used to fix all problems with food. She had special meals for every sickness, mended broken hearts with each person’s favorite food, and she celebrated every occasion with big feasts. So far, Simon couldn’t say she had ever failed.

Simon, Deena, Kate, Sam, Josh, and Constance, sat down at the table. They got started with their junk food feast. Everything was still hot, smelled amazing, and tasted even better. Behind Simon and the teenagers, stood Ruby Lane. She tilted her head one side and the other, observing the scene in front of her. Her slightly blurred expression showed confusion, then a hint of sadness, and finally settled in something surprisingly close to affection. Eating. Food. Good company. Friends. She distantly could remember the feeling of it all. The details had left her a while ago. But if she focused hard enough on the smiles of these strangers, she almost felt right at home, almost felt like she belonged with them, almost let herself believe that if she wanted to she could reach out, take a seat, enjoy a meal with them… Almost, almost but not quite.

At the table, conversation flowed easily. Everyone was enjoying the food, and the adults all had one or two beers with the meals, perhaps a little more. Despite the emotionally heavy day, the group was in a surprisingly good mood. A consequence of growing up in Shadyside, maybe. They were either the best or the worst at coping with loss. The trick was not knowing how to tell the difference between both extremes. 

Sam was a little concerned about the fact that the pair of teenagers looked so refreshed and so much like themselves after attending a funeral. Maybe they just needed the time away from the manor. She just hoped it would last.

While all of them discussed favorite meals and comfort food, Simon finally explained his choice of food for the day. “This is actually from the first place where I worked,” he confessed.

“Really?” Sam asked, leaning forward with a kind smile.

“Yeah. My mom got me the job,” he added. “She was the sweetest woman, but she could be scary as shit if she wanted to. She convinced them to give a part-time job to little old me. I was barely fifteen.”

“Tell her why you got fired,” Kate said, raising a playful eyebrow in his direction.

Simon rolled his eyes and picked up a couple of fries to throw in her direction. “For giving you free food you asshole!”

While all the others laughed, Kate gasped loudly and wore a nearly comically offended expression for a moment. It was her turn to roll her eyes and lean across Deena to look at Sam and explain, “This bitch throwing me food like a toddler? He got fired for being too talented for a food truck, basically.”

“Ah, whatever,” Simon laughed. He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair and pushed through his unexpected shyness to explain. “The food was good, but it was also too slow and expensive. Got me fired but got me noticed.” He stopped then, and tried to make it seem natural and not at all like he was holding back information. Which made Sam think about the missed opportunity across the ocean that Kate had mentioned earlier that day. “But!” Simon went on, with extra cheerfulness on his voice to hide who knows how many things anymore, “now I get to happily cook for all of you, ungrateful little shits that you are.”

“Hey!” Deena protested, stopped a second to swallow her food and continued. “I am grateful. Dude, I love your food. I survived eating this cheap shit almost exclusively for like a decade. I’m in heaven when you cook actual food.”

“Do you just love me for my food?” Simon pouted dramatically. 

Sam watched them banter with a smile. Before she could stop herself, she was joining the conversation. “This actually reminds me of my childhood in Shadyside,” she said, holding up a burger in her hand.

“What?” Kate smirked, “You don’t have these bad boys in Sunnyvale?”

Sam laughed along with everyone else, she was starting to feel just the slightest bit tipsy, and this time decided not to mention the fact that Kate hadn’t even taken a bite of her burger yet. However, she hadn’t managed to shake herself from the weird, nostalgic mood that had had a hold of her the entire day. One moment she was there, seated at the kitchen table in Shadyside Manor, and with the blink of an eye, she was back at an expensive Sunnyvale restaurant.

She had been more than a little tipsy back then, she had needed the courage in any way she could find it. During the meal, a hundred different memories of her mother’s cruel comments on her weight and eating habits passed through her mind. She didn’t push them away though, she focused on them, because it hadn’t been just her mother, and she needed to focus on that pain and resentment. Because seated across from her was Peter. Peter, who had joined her mother in criticizing her. Peter, who never once defended her from his own mother. Peter, who had hurt her emotionally and physically more than anybody else.

Peter, who refused to lose an argument, who didn’t know when to let it go, and would never let her go. They didn’t get to the altar, but since their first kiss, he had assumed only death would take her away from him. He didn’t consider he’d go first, he might have even dreamed of a second or third wife, and one or two times he had been close to being responsible for that sudden end. Instead, it was their anniversary, they were both drunk, Sam admitted more than she had meant to, he was yelling at her in the middle of the street, threatening to kill her, taking a step backward when she reached for him, and then there were the truck’s headlights…

“Oh, yeah,” Sam blurted out, and hoped they wouldn’t notice the way her voice was trembling. “But in Sunnyvale, we add a little caviar on top of the burgers.”

Sam was surprised to see everyone laugh at what she had considered a pretty lame joke. It was a beautiful sound. She didn’t think she’d ever been surrounded by the incredible number of five people that genuinely liked her for who she really was. Josh even choked a little on the food he had been chewing, and Simon slapped his back, maybe a little harder than necessary. It made Kate and Constance laugh even harder. Those were things that Sam noticed, but her focus was actually on the woman beside her. Deena had laughed with all of them, of course. But the soft smile she was directing at Sam was something completely different, something she couldn’t even compare to anything else she had ever experienced. 

When the conversation hit an inevitable lull, Constance was the first one to notice the way Simon’s mood dimmed, his shoulders slumped and he stopped eating, just fumbling with the papers on the table. There was a lot a person could say to a friend that just lost their mother, then there was what a moody teenager with an exceptionally tragic life could offer.

“My aunt was a shit cook,” Constance blurted out. “These burgers were all she got for me when my parents died. But I couldn’t eat it… I thought I would never eat again, which would be okay because that would kill me and I’d be reunited with…” She shrugged, and everyone else at the table listened to her intently, rendered speechless not just by the unexpected confession, but because of her expression, neutral without being insensitive, sincere without being very emotional. “But then,” Constance continued, adding the smallest smiles here and there. “It was like I could hear my mom yelling at me for not eating. Cindy Berman could be a pain in the ass in case you didn’t know. But that feeling… it was like she was right there with me, beautiful and annoying and never gone entirely.”

For a moment, nobody knew what to say. Simon, although his eyes were glassy, smiled brightly at her. “You do not act as if you’re listening to your mom,” he said.

“Hey! I ignored her when she was alive too, she gets it,” Constance rolled her eyes playfully. “But the point is I know that we have to keep eating, and keep living… for them. Don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do,” Simon agreed.

He took a deep breath to get a hold of his emotions and raised his beer bottle to the center of the table, where Kate, Deena, and Sam joined him in a toast for the living. Constance joined in enthusiastically with a can of soda, but Josh didn’t move a muscle.

“Hey, do we have some more beer?” Josh asked a moment later. “I could really use one.”

“Uh, no. Not at fifteen you can’t,” Deena replied immediately. She tensed on her seat.

The teenage boy rolled his eyes and focused on the au pair across the table from him. “Miss Fraser, do you think I could have a beer?” He asked with a sharp, charming smile that looked just a little off on the edges.

“I… agree with your sister, Josh,” Sam replied carefully. She didn’t want to cross any boundaries, but she was also responsible for the teenagers.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve gone without a real drink?!”

“I remember my first beer,” Kate interrupted him, reminiscing with an easy smile on her face. “It was my first time babysitting Constance, and then Christine thought it would be a good idea to give me a beer.”

“My mom hated beer,” Sam said. “She used to say one sip could mean I’ll end up in hell.” Then she took a hearty sip, thinking of her mother and the thousand suffocating rules she’d pressed upon Sam’s shoulders her entire life.

“Well,” Deena smirked, “You did end up in Shadyside so…”

While most of them laughed, Josh’s face contorted into an expression of deep frustration and rage until he didn’t look like himself anymore. “Why the hell am I being controlled by a bunch of dykes?!” He slammed his hand on the table furiously. 

But just as soon as the words left his mouth, Sam and Deena jumped out of their chairs. Deena was his sister, and maybe Sam was just the au pair, but while Deena was so angry that she couldn’t even get any words out, Sam got ahead of her.

“That language, and that attitude, and beyond unacceptable, Josh. You are going to your room right now. No discussion. Did you hear me?” Sam said, her voice firm, unwavering, and her stance perfectly commanding.

All eyes were on her, but she was staring straight at Josh. He didn’t budge, he was stronger than most teenagers Sam had ever worked with, but she was even stronger. She didn’t hesitate at all. She glanced quickly at Constance, and the girl, despite intensely rolling her eyes, stood up and walked toward Josh. She not-so-gently grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the chair. Slowly, and with Josh throwing threatening looks at Sam over his shoulder, they walked out of the kitchen. After excusing herself, Sam followed them. She didn’t look back to see the impressed looks her friends were exchanging, pleasantly surprised by that side of her.

--

“Hey, Sunnyvale,” Deena said as soon as she caught sight of Sam walking down the stairs of the manor to the foyer where she was waiting for her.

Sam reached the end of the stairs and noticed that Deena was wearing a jacket, and holding Sam’s own jacket in her hands. But when the au pair reached out to grab it, Deena pulled back.

“Ah, ah. Not yet,” Deena said. She was smiling, but there was a hint of worry in her eyes. “You only get warmth in exchange for information.” Her words made the au pair chuckle, and Deena instantly felt herself relax a little. “How did it go with my asshole brother?” She finally asked.

“Um, it was fine, I think,” Sam replied. “He… Well, I think he’s embarrassed. He probably regrets it a lot. He’s acting almost as if he doesn’t even remember what he said.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Deena frowned. She felt pretty embarrassed about the entire incident, and she was so not looking forward to having that conversation with Josh, who apparently had turned into some kind of monster in the place of her sweet younger brother. “I’m sorry about it.”

Sam shrugged and attempted a smile. “If it helps, I think he really listened when I explained that we all just want what’s best for him, and having that makes him luckier than most of us.”

The gardener nodded thoughtfully. “I agree with you there,” she said as she held open Sam’s jacket to help her put it on. Deena was careful, and her hands were confident, but at the same time, she barely touched Sam’s body as she helped her. The only thing she couldn’t help herself from doing was standing perhaps a little closer than necessary. Enough to feel her heart skip a beat when Sam’s blonde hair brushed her cheek, and the smell of some sweet-scented shampoo filled her senses. “But also, how depressing is that for us?” Deena said, stepping back from Sam. The au pair laughed and turned around to stare a Deena, who offered her a hand and said, “Come on, let’s go be depressing outside for a change.”