#alex go to bed

[didsomeonesaybuffet]

I know it’s a cutting/editing error but like, isn’t it so fitting that Dean fell the wrong way after Cas threw him out of harms way.

Sort of like how Cas fell for him the moment he laid a hand on him in hell

Something something circular narrative something something mirroring yada yada yada blah blah blah

[sentientsky]

I do wonder if Crowley's optimism is actually optimism. If it weren't 4 a.m., I'd do a philosophical deep dive, but since it is, I'll just try to string some thoughts together.

At the core of Crowley's questioning stands, "What is the point of it all?"—it's what he wonders as Starmaker and what he defeatedly asks Shax at the beginning of season 2. It strikes me as a very specific flavour of trauma-related existential dread reinforced by his fall and the concept of the ineffable plan.

The thing is that Crowley already knows the answer to that question; it's just not a satisfying one. Because what is the point of it all? of us? of our lives? of all the suffering and the good and the bad and, well, everything?

There is no point. It's a fact you need to come to terms with rather quickly if you grow up traumatized, otherwise, you will break. There was no point in Crowley falling, just as there's no point in anything he or Aziraphale did over the last few millennia—they just are.

It's why any meta questions focusing on God won't get anywhere, there is no answer God would ever offer us or them; there is no answer that matters, period. Maybe God has one, maybe they don't, but it has zero effect on the story or what happens to them. It's terrifying, in a way, to think about it like this, because if there's no point to any aspect of our lives, why bother? Why bother when there are so many horrible things that could happen?

And THAT is where we come all the way back around to Crowley's optimism. He has long accepted the lack of answers (though I can tell you from personal experience that you never really stop asking anyway), but he needs to find a way to live with the world as it is.

'Everything's going to be fine sooner or later' isn't optimism; it's what you need to tell yourself to not jump in front of the next train.

Crowley's optimism is dreams. Dreams of him and Aziraphale being happy and together, dreams of their cottage in the south downs, dreams of heaven and hell never touching them again.

Dreams of life turning out to be better than what he is currently living.

From the outside, it can certainly look like optimism, but I see him, I am him, and I can guarantee you that it's not. It's a tiny pinprick of light in an otherwise dark sky that may or may not be actually there, but if you stop telling yourself that it exists, there's nothing left but darkness. You're afraid of the dark and its teeth because you have been bitten by them before.

So you keep repeating it over and over and over, and maybe one day it will no longer be a lie or you will be the light, but for now this is what you got.

It is also the reason why Crowley is going to be a wreck in season 3. Finally, he thought, we can be together and happy, and in love without being afraid. He reached for the pinprick of light, thinking it to be a star, and got ripped apart by sharpened teeth instead. Crowley needs that lie, and he just got completely disillusioned.

What's the point when, after everything, Aziraphale still leaves him?

No matter how much they love each other, Crowley needs to find an answer to that question within himself, not in Aziraphale or anyone else.

[sentientsky]

why do they do this. every time !!!!

[julykings]

25 today

[pitsazawr]

procrastination >:[

[puppyeared]

boys night

[stratocumulusperlucidus]

[oscarpiastriwdc]

trying to put in perspective just how young Lando used to look compared to the drivers he grew up racing with...

Lando, age 15

Max and Charles, age 15

Alex, age 15

Lance and George, age 15

Estie, age 15

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

“hold on to your heart” // do me a favour live at forest hills stadium new york 08/09/23 ♡

[droodlebug]

Another small peek into my sdv portrait mod in the works... plus a look at some of the sprite work i've been doing for it. Particuarly george's wheelchair and his face that's in a whole different style which has always been annoying to see but even moreso since I started using a wheelchair myself and have become more visibly disabled................ I guess i should just call this a visual overhaul for the characters at this point lmao

[actual-changeling]

i tried to write this ficlet four different times but i'm having a day so. take whatever this is.

aziraphale with fake vampire teeth. he loves them. crowley HATES them because you can just grow them angel, this is humiliating. i'm a fucking snake. i have fangs. take those things out of your mouth.

but aziraphale is doing his dollar-store dracula roleplay because it's halloween! he has to wear a costume when handing out the candy to the children!

"oh also crowley here's your costume-"

"i am not wearing a costume."

"you will wear the costume."

"this is embarrassing even for you angel"

(if there's one thing aziraphale is shamelessly good at, it's making puppy eyes at crowley until he gives in, and oh does he want him to wear the bloody thing)

"... fine. but you owe me" "yeah yeah just get ready"

and THAT is how soho gets to experience count aziraphale and his trusted companion, the bat crowley, who looks particularly dashing (and very much not scary) in a black turtleneck with tiny wings on his back. at least his eyes can be on full display, even if just for tonight, and the kids LOVE them so much crowley's complaints die down rather quickly. he might even have *gasp* a good time!

(and if it was more about getting him back into the turtleneck than the costume - well, aziraphale knows how to keep a secret)

[rickybaby]

Alex Wurz: Sneak preview for the drivers of the Qiddiya City track

[aritany]

i wish you wouldn’t is out in the world! yours forever. links everywhere, but here’s a great starting place.

i hope you all like connor as much as i like beating on him. enjoy ☀️🩵

[yamikakyuu]

Happy 4 year Anniversary to RQG 174. The episode that broke me. The episode that I stopped not even half way through because I was crying so hard. The episode that saw my favorite character die horribly. The episode that would have been my last had I not been told "listen to the end" by the lovely people in RQO's EA channel. The episode that I still cannot listen to all the way. The episode that has some of the best acting you'd never think it was all improvised. The episode that really made me hate nat 1s. The episode the changed the direction of two of the characters. The episode that is still the hardest I've ever cried in a podcast. The episode we still warn new listeners about. THE episode.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

thinking about how lis1 romanticizes the open road in a way that's really only possible for a story almost or completely limited to a single location. travel and escape viewed as a means of fixing everything, or at least trying to--it's all Chloe talks about, it's the hope everyone has for Rachel, it's the glimmer of a happy ending in bae over bay. and the very fact that it's treated as a total escape means we can't explore it more fully in game, it has to stay as the light at the end of the tunnel.

it's why it does make sense that (as someone was snarking about online) Chloe never leaves Arcadia before the storm hits, despite having a truck, while Sean was able to leave his hometown with around forty dollars at the most. it was never about ability, it was about not seeing the open road as something she could face alone, maybe something she didn't deserve to face alone, until either death or exile via Storm forced her hand.

and then lis2 is, like I've said before, an extension of the post-storm ending and the reality of flight after you/your loved one brought down superpowered destruction on everything you knew. it delves into the nitty gritty of what exile actually looks like, the open road in all its incredible beauty and variety, but also its cruelty, privation, and fear. not that the world left behind looks any better--stuff like awesome adventures or the hints about the pre-canon tensions on Lewis Avenue highlight the fragility and violence hidden in seemingly stable home communities just as much as lis1.

so instead the idea of a new home away from it all becomes the target, a place to settle, or at least to build a "base" as Sean describes it. and then the whole game is interrogating what you'll do to get that promised land, that safe home, same way lis1's final decisions interrogates what Max will do to find freedom with Chloe. we never see extended details of life on the open road for Max and Chloe because the ambiguity is what makes it hopeful, and we never see extended details of Puerto Lobos for the same reason.

then listc completes this cycle with Alex coming to the end of her long journey back to her brother after exile from both her childhood and the ordinary society around her. she encounters the idea home as "a place to rest your bones" right before it's upended by the darker realities of the communities she's entered. that game's about coming to terms with the nature of where you've finally found yourself and deciding whether it's worth holding on regardless or better hitting the road for some place better, to gamble more on lis1's dreams of departure or lis2's dreams of arrival.