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『As you walk by, you notice a man in a suit. There’s nothing exceptional about him, just another KHA member on assignment, albeit this one looks tired and worn out. You don’t pay him too much attention, ready to leave so you won’t disturb other’s work. But as you’re about to turn away, you find yourself frozen still under intense stare of a God. Liquid gold impassively stares right into your very soul, but as unexpectedly as it started, it ended. God has no interest in you, and you hurry to leave, least you’ll try his patience anymore.』
#solo leveling#woo jin chul#OKAY LISTEN#AB Jinchul sometimes scares people with his glowing eyes just like Jinwoo does#but like Jinchul’s more intense in a way it’s literally a god staring into your soul and judging you#jinchul doesn’t even realize he does that and doesn’t know how uncanny and terrifying he looks#the pressure of divinity is insane wheeze#(jinwoo on background be like ‘okay mark me down as scared and horny’)#also me finding out ibisPaint has animation mode now#albeit limited#lmao suffer from my shit attempt
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I've been debating how to breach this topic for the past days, but there is no easy or practical way to bring it up. There is an ongoing genocide in Gaza- the world's largest open air prison, as described by U.N. officials and activists. Nearly 2500 Palestinians have been killed in the course of past few days, including women and nearly 700 children. 700. Israel urged Palestinians to leave the Gaza stripe (even though they have nowhere to go to) only to bomb their "safe" exit routes. Entire civilian neighborhoods and hospitals are being targeted by Israel, and they are threatening to cut off the water and electricity in Gaza as well, turning the few running hospitals left to cemeteries.
Palestinians children are writing their names on their palms so people would recognize them, in case they end up being killed by Israel forces. Palestinians are writing their goodbye messages on social media because they aren't sure they'd still be alive tomorrow. There is so much atrocity going on, so many war crimes that the west have deemed reasonable because those are Palestinian lives that are taken, because Palestinians lives aren't as important as western ones, because international law doesn't apply when it comes to Palestinians.
it is unsettling and uncomfortable to watch these images of war, of beheaded children being carried by fellow civilians, of ambulance drivers falling to the ground from the horror of that they've witnessed, of cries of babies who are suddenly orphans, who have never known anything but violence and murder. But this is the reality of Palestinians, as it has been for the past decades. Please, I urge you, educate yourself on the ongoing conflict. There is no hard choice, there are no nuances that you need to take into consideration, there are no 'buts'. There is a colonization, an ethnical cleansing, a genocide, and Palestinians aren't the instigators of it. They are the ones paying the price.
Standing up for Palestine doesn't mean you are anti-jew, the proof is there are a lot of Jewish people standing with the Palestine cause, because they recognize the atrocities committed by the Israeli government. There were no "40 beheaded babies" by Hamas, this was a false information, consciously perpetuated by Israel then the USA so they'd be able to attack Palestine with a "reasonable" motive, only backtracking on it when the damage was already done. There aren't two sides. There is only one true side and it's Palestine.
+ u just have to click this link and the revenue generated by traction in this website will be donated to Palestine! it's only one click per day please do it
#ik we're mostly here to escape reality but this is a privilege on its own#Palestinians cannot turn off their suffering the way we can turn off the news#please please educate yourselves#stop believing the Western propaganda#we have learned time and time again that they'd do anything to justify the killing of people#that the hypocrisy of world leaders knows no limit#i have a plateform#albeit small but i have one#i hope this urges you to further learn about this ongoing colonization
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#David Tennant#Alec Hardy#Broadchurch#my gifs#The undivided gifs look nicer I think.#I divided them yesterday for a closer look at these two <3#But this is much nicer I think. <3#Well. Alec and Ellie would be nice in any shape or form. <3#I wish I had a higher res. What a treat it would be to gif that#And I wish I knew how to gif using Photoshop#instead of being limited to the (albeit AMAZING) ezgif and redketchup sites.#Maybe one day. Doubt it. Photoshop is too much like math! But maybe one day.
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Big fan of the idea that the cuffs that Silver wears are inhibitors/regulators similar to Shadow's. Amy too.
Theyre acting like devices that help tame the chaos energy/redirect it in a way that ensures that the wearer isn't going to tear themselves to shreds. Like little batteries/reserves that keep the wearer from using all that energy all at once!
#sonic disability headcanons#limiters/inhibitors controlling chaos energy in the same way as the master emerald does. albeit in a much smaller way#the way silvers cuffs expand/light up when hes using his powers could be them taking on excess energy! acting as a tiny reserve#so that hes not directing too much to his palms#amys being a bit more like shadows where they are inhibiting or soaking up chaos energy like a sponge. shed tear up her muscles otherwise#itd be cool if rings acted like chaos energy batteries! it would explain why theyd help u not eat shit when you take a hit#and why they disappear after dropping. you used that charge/opened it up and the chaos energy is leaking till theres nothing there#it would also fit a bit with how Sonic X uses them too!#text#silver#amy#shadow#knuckles gets help from the master emerald so he doesnt need them#rambles
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just read this part of the adventurer's bible and
do you think toshiro was originally attracted to falin (whilst still being irritated by many of her same traits in laios) because he thought his father would find her interesting???
#undescribed#eliot posts#dunme#dungeon meshi#dm spoilers#idk how i feel about him#my first impression was positive bc he had a cool character design (and i found him quite handsome personally lol)#but also he was mean to laios :(#but also laios was asking him intrusive questions and messing up his name#but also he should have just spoken up instead of expecting others to just read his mind#but also dude was a nobleman in what looks like feudal era japan#which to my (albeit limited) historical knowledge had even more intense politeness rules than like. the victorian era#so if the dunmeshi world is like the irl era then it could be a cultural thing that he felt he couldn't vocalize that stuff directly#and also he was in love with falin and seemed to like her weirdgirl tendencies. which i appreciate and respect. like. me too dude.#but also how much was genuine feelings and how much was seeing her as a novelty?#BUT ALSO did his family own fucking SLAVES??? and was he cool with that???#or did i miss something/am i misunderstanding something?#like is the guy having a sixpenceee moment here#or am i just misunderstanding context/history here?
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Hoyoverse strikes again by making another NPC buffer and manlier than the playable units.
#rubi’s post#honkai star rail#woolsey#don’t get me wrong#I’m glad that we have dr ratio as our free unit#albeit free 5 star limited unit#and we’re getting gallagher in the next update and as a four star unit#but this guy? boy he beats all of them via his appearance alone#it would be funny if he was a playable unit#in the near future that is
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Hi again!
i imagined a scenario of Bowser finding out from maybe a servant that his son has died, how would he’d react?
I know you probably wouldn’t do death or anything in your mario universe but humour the thought lol
also he probably wouldn’t be dead, just gravely injured and near death if that’s more comfortable 🙇♂️
Oh, trust me, you do NOT want to see my Bowser in a scenario where he would either believe his precious son to have passed or find him on the brink of death. 🫣
He has vicious and highly destructive tendencies on his best days. With that said, I think it's fair to say that the sight of him consumed by indescribable grief and devouring wrath would be downright apocalyptic. 🙇♀️
#But- that doesn't mean I'll never draw it 🤫#I'm still quite unsure about some of the pivotal scenes I have in mind and how I want to present them#It's certainly a very interesting thing to contemplate in the meantime though!#Albeit tragic 😣#Pushing characters to their limit is admittedly one of my favorite creative things tho#So who knows! 👀💁♀️#Asks#mario#bowser#junior#bowser jr#concept#angst#drama#characterization#personal portrayal#ideas#thoughts and ramblings#tw death mention
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Love the feeling of getting my shit sorted, absolutely paralyzed with fear that I will trip over myself again and have to rinse and repeat as usual lmao
#being medicated is really making a world of difference in how functional that cycle is but it hasn't stopped the cycle#yet anyway there's time#the problem tho is that every time this happens i get overexcited when ramping back up and fuck myself lmao#but i really want to work on my stress modeling and get my business off the ground#and i think it's happening albeit slowly#hoping to keep chipping away at stuff until i've got it figured out but definitely feeling my limitations
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poor olimar. he's not even a full inch tall and he's been sent to the Horrible Alien Death Planet so many times and it's still unclear wether he got to see his family in-between these journeys
#okay. definitely between pikmin two and three he got to finally see his family again. but the gap between one and two?#'hey there guy whos been struggling to survive on an alien planet for a month!'#'yeah so.... erm... you know that alien planet you almost died on?'#'yeahhh... well... you kinda have to go back. sorry. no you do not have time to see your wife and kids or sit down or shower or eat or-'#and then he gets paired with the absolute degenerate (affectionate) that is louie and instantly thrown back into that death trap#like. hes 1.9cm/0.75in tall please let him have nice things#and i am saying all of this with pretty limited knowledge#....he got to see his family after pikmin two right? he got to rest? he got to go a minute without being in mortal peril right?#i know he was in mortal peril again in the third game but he seems to have come back to earth On Purpose that time#granted everything went awfully wrong again but he and louie seemed fine for the first few minutes?#then olimar gets yoinky sploinkied by the magma wraith and louie robs three peoples food supply (albeit in self defense) but. details#why cant olimar have nice things#oh yeah i dont know what happened in the fourth game. i think its a soft reboot of the story? and if we consider that to be the case then-#POOR OLIMAR#poor little guy. hes not even 2cm tall and he has encountered such hardships
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Sorry ive been so off stress is making me feel very not normal (also the days getting colder and darker doesnt help—)
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lmfao i uh. i usually have 5 wips going at a time but i think i've officially lost control lmfao
#having a full time job and then also juggling an active fanfic#and also doing art#and also just existing as a person with chores and friends albeit online ones#and some level of exercise bc i go stir crazy and my knees hurt if i stay at home too long#and also obsessing over a stupid app bc i get like 33k lezhin coins if i get to level 2000#i think ive lost control LMFAO#i gotta actually start finishing the mostly finished ones#and ofc i'm getting through the commission one pretty fast#but i think im hitting my limit of 'i dont need more wips' LMAO
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I always find it so funny when modern au l&co. fics make the skull like a cat or something cuz skull would be so pissy if he knew
#like bros a whole character with backstory (albeit limited) and we go#haha cat#lockwood and co#l&co#the skull in the jar#moss thinks
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I'm watching "my so-called life" which is a fun little sojourn into 90s suburban youth americana (rip it's also j*ared leto's breakthrough, but youknow. that's the cost of watching things)
im waiting for the wilson cruz storyline to kick in, because so far he's really got that "gay best friend but living a totally different reality to all of you that you couldn't possibly visualise" that obviously i gravitate towards and have heard will be explored
also because a lot of what the narrative is about gives me similar vibes to when i was taking a gander at "big mouth" and feeling kind of affirmed in my particular 15-yr-old queer-and-nd alienation, because holy shit y'all lived like this???
(this brought to you by the main character in this episode going "I'm 15 and I don't even have a love life." when I was 15 I was confused about why I kept finding people making out in classrooms at my Christian boarding school and going through a realisation that I wasn't in love or lust with the guy I was supposedly seeing) (which was only painful because I was too anxious to tell him for too long and then he cried when I broke it off) (and I was very much not feeling any of the feelings overall)
(need me more things about the Alienation)
#im watching tv#im enjoying it for sure#it's got this skrunkly visual texture to it#and they do talk like young'uns#but for sure this is not my reality when i was this age#i do prefer this kind of texture to the more modern youth tv shows#they're too... polished... everyone is dressed too well and looks/feels too old#everyone is speaking with each other too Cleanly#gimme these children who're beset with new emotions who are going into real adult-like stuff but#it's for the first time and it's big and difficult and they dont have the words at all and ALSO they have limited agency#derry girls is the closest modern thing ive seen that does this albeit very comedically#me#personal#I NEED TEXTURE!#I NEED REALNESS!
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just thinkin about how insane that BS health claim of "you have 10lbs of toxic poo in your colon!!" is. if u do see ur doctor bc youve got a bowel obstruction
#in my albeit limited autopsy experience the entire colon usually weighs under 5lbs and usually ppl got 1-2lbs of poo hangin out in there#maybe up to 5lbs in the opiate deaths ive done
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Papyrus (Is "The Garden" on that playlist?)
papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?
CW: Discussion of severe mental illness and suicide.
I had my "mental illness indie playlist" on and for the record Pills & Good Advice by Left At London (her gosh darn magnum opus to living with a SPMI) is the song that came up.
youtube
This is legitimately one of my favorite songs of all time and helped me a ton during the worst portions of second puberty when our BPD symptoms were off the charts. Left at London does amazing music ranging from talking about the 2020 social unrest which includes the refrain "Fuck you and the slavers that you work for" or finding joy within having a dissociative disorder or the terror of discovering one. As well as one of the most uncomfortably accurate songs about Disorganized/Insecure Attachment in BPD (the Patreon only edit even including a voice mail that ripped my heart to shreds the first time I heard it.) and a break-up song that includes a lyric that takes me out every time I hear it:
And if falling in love is all that it takes To make you love the world You’ll be bitter when they go Because even infinity in its entirety Still can turn to nothingness When it's multiplied by zero
But let's talk about the song which actually showed up on my random, Pills & Good Advice.
The song is built upon Nat's experiences from being released from a mental care facility after a suicide attempt and the fear and insecurity of being released into the world with nothing but medication and doctors recommendations to keep her from trying to kill herself again.
On my first day out My familiar town Felt the same as in my dreams Crying in my sleep When the sun came down Thinking "I am cured, it seems" But I don't know my name at all But what else is new? Should I show my pain at all? If you only knew You could try to help Care is imprecise All that I have left: Pills and good advice
Each verse of the song fluctuates between moods and depictions of chronic mental illness from the bridge having rapid voices displaying her impulses to experience a high to escape the pain of existing versus the desperate desire to stay the course and get better and mirrored refrains of "Please hold me down" symbolizing both a self-destructive impulse to die and a terror; begging their partner to kill or save her.
The song includes depictions of Identity Disturbance, a BPD symptom where those suffering lack a stable sense of identity and require an external source to mirror and receive acknowledgement from; Nat sings on multiple occasions about not knowing who she is and viewing her support in this crisis as her "mirror". I imagine imposter syndrome for Nat's music/poetry may be invading some lines such as "I'm plagarizing everything, stuttering solioquies (who am I again?)"
The song is set in 3 parts with the third part being a descent where the line (Higher) is repeated after every line and Nat struggles with her suicidal impulses, concluding:
Spend too many of my minutes getting higher (Higher) I've attempted way too much to even count (Higher) I've been committed, but committed to the people that I love And if I try to love myself, I guess that I could live forever crying
Knowing the sickness is a part of her but she doesn't want to die, even if she wants to die; she cares too much about the people in her life (the committed/committed line is actually genius and one of my favorite in all of her discography) and the best thing she can do is commit to loving herself and continuing along with life in spite of the pain inflicted by her illness.
The ending is ambiguous to my ears and /@/ isn't popular enough for me to see a lot of discussion on interpretations.
But on my last day out Let me scream to God, Family, friends, and enemies "So what happens next? Is this what you want? All I am is dead to me" So I can't hear my voice at all What was I to do? Did I have a choice at all? Seems I never do You could try to help Care is imprecise All that I'd have left: Pills and good advice I could try to heal Care is imprecise All that you'd have left: Pills and good advice
On one hand, I view the song as a positive rally into accepting that SPMI are as the letters describe "Severe Persistent Mental Illness", fuck knows I've lived with the weight of those letters on my medical records. It doesn't go away. You just have to learn to live with it. To enjoy the joys before the despairs.
I chose to believe those last lines are saying that other people could try to help but in the end all the sufferer has is medication and therapy techniques, change must come from within and that to live with someone who suffers will cause pain too and all the person helping can do is receive the same level in care in return.
"You could try to help" vs "I could try to heal" with all that I/you having left being Pills and Good Advice.
But in my darker days I focus on the "on my last day out" and how the singer bemoans never really having a choice and all their work in staying clean being for nothing. In that read, I worry that the final lines are the singer giving in to their symptoms and attempting to kill themselves again, with the final line being less of a "we can get better together" and more of a "I know this will hurt you, have you considered seeking psychological help?"
I prefer my positive spin on it but that may be optimism winning out.
Either way, the song is fantastic and deeply personal in a way I almost feel like I'm intruding to hear at times.
Suicide is a topic of massive importance to me; it is also my number one emotional trigger. For the past few months I've had a draft I've been toying on about how I feel it should be discussed and ironically I am terrified to post it because of how sensitive the topic is. It's really hard to put yourself out there.
I admire this work of art because it really tries its absolute hardest to share a perspective of what it's like to be living with these conditions and feeling like no matter how much you reach out to other people, they can't truly help in the ways that you need. It's a song about terror, it's a song about healing and my god I hope it's a song about growth.
But it may just be a song about cycles.
#camden asks#ask meme#bpd#did#watch me post my trauma in public#albeit this isn't my trauma this time#but I do like it when art is made from places like this#I may very well be wrong about everything I have written here#and given the artist is small enough that she has a limited Tumblr presence#I hope this post never reaches her eyes#I'd die instantly if I misinterpreted a work of art in front of its creator
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if only i had the words to articulate what empathy and compassion mean in ajin
#like the low hanging fruit first- kei doesn't even HAVE empathy but he still chooses to be compassionate!#satou doesn't have empathy either! two low empathy fuckos duking it out on the dance floor#and yet satou still saved tanaka after finding out what the ajin control commission was really about#albeit for selfish reasons#satou probably saw it less as a good deed to do and more as a side quest/extra mission#if u think abt it kei and satou are both very similar in both personality and motivation#both low empathy and both selfishly motivated#the difference is that kei takes himself seriously and satou doesn't#i just think that what ajin does with its limited themes and cast is very simple but very good#humanity and empathy and emotions/the absence of. human experimentation medicine and the military.#*dies*#*comes back to life* haha just like-#*is shot and dies for real*#milk (normal)#ajin#yeah put that there
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