#aki i love you so much

[toribookworm22]

Yellow and Ruby for the color asks 💛

Aki!! Thank you, that's so sweet!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[mafuyuh]

maki zenin ♡ 禪院真希

happy birthday Aki! @tanchirou

[oneforblu]

i miss aki hayakawa so much. his story was so heartbreaking but so well written. the man who hated devils grew to love them to the point he would do anything to protect them. he had so much love to give. his kindness in such a cruel world was such a beautiful part of his character. i love him so very much.

[maiooo-0]

My beautiful princess with a disorder

[fell-e]

Im not good at words-ing but

Koharu Sakurada and Aki Tamaki

Sakurada means "Cherry Blossom field"

Aki roughly translates to "Autumn"

Cherry Blossoms are not only associated with love, but their short lived blooms also signify the fleeting nature of life.

Autumn is the time of the year where trees shed their leaves, and is associated with grief in some cultures. But at the same time, it signifies new beginnings.

Koharu died young. Too young. Unlike Aki who had loved her since she was only nine years old, Koharu never had a chance to experience falling in love. And i think Aki feels guilty for that. For not confessing sooner, for not confessing later, for confessing at that place, at that time. Maybe then, she would still be alive, she would still have had a chance at experiencing love. And maybe she feels guilty for surviving the accident, for not being the one who died instead, for not being able to save her.

But she has to move on.

And moving on doesn't mean she didn't love Koharu any less, it didn't mean she didn't love her anymore. In fact, its the opposite.

Even years after her death, Aki still loved her.

She loved her for six years, and continued loving her for five more.

Aki loved her, and though that love and grief may not fade away anytime soon, she has to move on. For herself, and for Koharu.

Those cherry blossoms will bloom again one day, and though those flowers aren't the same as the ones from before, they are just as wonderful.

[meownotgood]

haha hey so apparently someone stole my whole fic... copy and pasted except for tiny things changed... here is the link to their """fic""" (sorry random person I had to steal the reblog from). they've since deleted the fic off their blog + deleted their ao3 + gone on a hiatus so..... that's cool and whatever....... but they have written a lot of other shit so... don't be a dick but maybe check that for funny business too...

[somnisweet]

Yall are sleeping on Mabayu, Mami and Nagisa found family and it makes me so sad...

Imagine Mabayu figuring out how to save Nagisa from her fate as a witch and inturn also saving Mami

However somewhere along the way she got lost beacuse she dosent know how she ended up with a loving girlfriend and a child to look after.

[nautikalmiles]

“zero.”

[mistystarshine]

SCREAMING SOBBING CRYING THANK YOU @dead-in-a-ditch I LOVE IT SO MUCH

This is art of a scene from fic nine of Devour You Whole

[jackass-jones]

Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

[mikibaby94]

Papas home 💕✨

~

A gift for my best friend @akiiame-blog Happy birthday girly 🥳 have a wonderful one!! 🎉 Go give her a lot of wishes!! :D

[sugaaz]

izumi curtis & olivier mira armstrong ☆ happy birthday aki @tanchirou ♡

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[angstigone]

«keep up my game» you had muttered to aki before taking the plate of vegetable soup he had slaved onto, and bringing it to the table, where power was comfortably sat with meowy in her lap, waiting to be served.

it took aki a few minutes to realize your 'plan' as he noticed you lay down the plate of soup right in front of power; he thought that you had forgotten that - under no circumstances - power ate vegetables, but he was quick to understand that you remembered, you just had come up with a plan.

«you must have mistaken your rations with my own, dumb human» the pinkhaired fiend commented with her usual crassness, while you retained an almost seraphic serenity.

«no, power, it's your dinner» and stalling the fiend from throwing the plate, you were quick to add «... it's made of a special kind of meat».

power looked like she didn't believe you fully but the fact that she hadn't yet thrown you off was a sign of growth as both aki and denji stared at you from the safe haven of the kitchen counter.

«how dumb does she think power is?» denji simply said albeit he looked onto your efforts quite attentively.

«... is it?» power asked still diffidently but her hand released the plate, clearly not having - for the moment - the intention to throw the plate right in your face «it smells like veggies».

«it doesn't» you were quick to say, although not quick enough to seem suspicious «... it's... a special kind of meat. it does smell like veggie but it's wholly meat».

«meat of what?» power inquired definitely curious.

«duck!» you muttered taking a good luck at the color of the soup «can't you tell from the color? also... duck is a very... esteemed meat. we were lucky to grab some of it at the supermarket!».

that did it, strangely enough, as power's eyes filled with what looked like a deep sense of utter pride and getting up from the low table - almost sending her own plate flying - she declared raising her fist up in the air.

«ahhh, you finally recognized power's true value! and you are rewarding it accordingly!» she then sat down as fast as she had gotten up and pushed her spoon into the soup, with little to no protest at the taste much to denji's and aki's startlement.

they didn't utter anything, worried that power might catch onto and then that'd be a whole mess that neither wished to deal with; still, the pinkhaired fiend quickly finished her whole plate and sent you to get another one praising the taste and insisting that she could feel the blood of the hunted duck.

dinner, hence, fell into a utter bedazzlement as even the usual awkward small talk was avoided, till denji and power moved onto their nightly routine while you and aki went to clean up the dishes.

«how... how did you come up with?» he asked promptly as soon as he regained his ability talk just to make you lightly chuckle.

«I have been observing power and I did realize that she has been lying, most often choosing which foods she might like or not, so I thought that she wouldn't be able to recognize which type of food is which» you explained and aki couldn't help but think that you had put too much thought into this, especially considering that the fiend's health didn't depend onto healthy human habits «... although in all truth, it was something that my mom said about how she convinced me to eat spinach by telling me it was mint ice cream».

«please tell me that you didn't fall into that as power» aki pleaded with a laugh at your offended look.

«I absolutely didn't! I clocked it out at the first taste and required some mint ice cream as compensations» you shot back promptly before joining aki's laugh as well «... still, I thought that it might be easier with soup and meat, especially with the little I gathered... mmh, wonder whether I can use it for something else...».

«we could brainstorm later» aki joked as you took him seriously before realization settled into you «... oh, c'mon, I do have to admit it was ingenious, alright?».

«you don't apprecciate me enough, hayakawa» you turned your back to him, crossing your arms over your chest, obviously pouting your fake displeasure. aki couldn't help but huff, although his heart filled with tenderness and endearment.

there was something downright domestic about the way you bickered with him. with how you cared about denji and power as if they were humans. as if they were your children.

the thought startled aki, as he gently went to hug you from behind, if not to truly ease you to ease his swifly moving mind which pictured a whole other scenario: you were still pouty, with swollen ankles and an heavy belly, blaming him for something that hormones made you feel.

"it's alright, just a few more months, sweetheart" he'd say instead of apologizing for not seeing your brilliant genius.

«you better apprecciate me!».

«I do, sweetling» he said softly, gently kissing the back of your head, as he tried to shun away the thought of you acting this way with children, your children.

you had always agreed that you were better off without children in your professions, neither wanting to leave behind any orphans.

still, it was tickling aki at how well you handled the manchildren that you had been tasked with; it wasn't just forcing them into good habits. it was the way you genuinely cared for those two even though you shouldn't have because they were liabilities.

«mmh, I don't know if I am convinced» but you were smiling, even turned aki can tell yo were smiling and suddenly he thought for a moment of a life where it's your children that you trick into eating vegetables and it brought some pricky feelings to his eyes, not that he'd define them as tears.

no, this isn't a life that he can have.

even with you.

so, he'll have to make this one last.

[blushblushbear]

Hey, I was wondering if you create headcannons for the Blush Blush boys. If so, I was wondering 👀

Can you describe how any of the immortal characters (Stirling, Seth, Reece?, Aki, Haru, Fuyu) would react if their SO/MC/Love interest reincarnates after they die of old age for example?

I’m a huge fan of reincarnation x immortal stuff, cause it gives off a happy ending and hope that their love will never die even if they’re reborn in a different time💖

I wanna start at the top by saying I think all of them freak out at least a little bit when they see their long dead lover seemingly up and alive again

I'll get into each one individually but needless to say, it's a bit of a shock to the lot of them

also I did a thing about The Immortals dealing with your death (that I will but a link to here later but right now I can't be bothered to shift through my many bullshit posts to find it atm OOPS SORRY)

(ps: love your stuff btw!!! <3 )

STARTING OFF

Stirling:

I think he's gone through this too many times and loves the drama of it all too much to ever have him claim that he will never love again after you (at least not forever)

but suffice it to say he doesn't think he'll ever have a love like you again in any of his life times worth of living he has left to get through

he also didn't become a vampire to kick the bucket quickly nor does he think he'll be headed in the same direction as you when he eventually does so he's in no particular hurry to 'follow you' as it were

so he has made his peace with forever longing for you and eternally mourning your passing a little bit all the time

until one day he happens to spot

well

you

I mean it can't be you but he knows that face

he knows that body

that aura, that smile

it's definitely you

your face was probably in the crowd at one of his competitions

he did loose points for how he fumbled when he clocked you

(but he still won don't get it twisted)

I think the moment his routine is done he b-lines it to his dressing room then directly to go find 'you'

he does find you in a crowd and nervously and suddenly asks if you'd like to go for dinner with him

like

now

right now.

how bout it??

you tentatively say yes and you two end up having the most awkward dinner of either of your lives

he's trying so hard not to flip out cause it's definitely you but also it can't be

can it????

BUT YOU WERE DEAD

he slowly begins to romance you

the new you

which is a lot like the old you

I think he's the handsome yet mysterious man who is romancing you and he doesn't fully let anything slip until one night you stay over and you find a painting of what is definitely but also so not you on the wall

cue him finding you staring at it and accidentally scaring you

only to calm you down then explain the whole sorted mess

and how he believes you are the reincarnation of his lover

I think no matter what there's going to be some push and pull moving forward

he has to decide if he loves you or just the idea of you that acts as some theoretical replacement for his great dead love

will there be a happy ending??

will love prevail??

can love continue on even after death??

only time will tell...

but he does not intend to give up on you that easily...

Seth:

you being reincarnated is actually his doing

against his best laid plans, you didn't end up in hell with him when you died

I think he could only stand it for a few months before he called in a favor and got your soul entered into the reincarnation program

that DOES mean he'll have to wait 18+ years to even attempt to make a move

and also that you won't remember him

or much if anything of your previous life

which means there's a 50/50 toss up that you'll be happily taken when he can actually find you again

he doesn't watch over you as you grow cause that's too creepy

but he does put some lesser demons/spirits to keep an eye on you and keep you safe

he doesn't want to have to start this process all over again

nor does he know how many otherworldly favors he can rely on for this

I think he 'randomly' bumps into you one day when you're old enough and he starts flirting and asks you out

I think whether or not he tells you about the whole deal will depend on how things play out

he doesn't necessarily see the need to but on the other hand

maybe it's worth you knowing

also it's the biggest romantic move he ever pulled

also honesty is nice in a relationship

but all in all it's just nice to have you back again

where he can see and hold and kiss you

also he probably had to call in a favor just to get to the mortal realm in the first place

idk he's burning a lot of big favors for this meet cute to go down but it's worth it

Reece:

I think with Reece it's less of a reincarnation and more an alt time line version of you

one where you never met and you got to live your life without it being crash landed into by a space traveling cat boy

I think at first he meant to keep his distance

you're not HIS you after all

but he couldn't help but watch you just

exist

for a bit

he missed you

and I think one thing lead to another and he ended up bumping into you and you gave him that cute smile and he didn't mean to but he heard himself asking you for coffee before he could give it a second thought

and then before he could give it a second word you had said yes

and then he was just over come with joy cause you said yes to a date so excitedly and quickly

it all kinda just

happened

I think you have a wonderful first date and he spends most of it working up the courage to tell you everything and also just enjoying the date

but towards the end of it he finally fesses up

you guys had done all this before

well, a different version of you in another timeline/universe

but all the same

he has already gone down this road

and now he's just doing it again cause it's hard for him to stay away from you

but you are gone

were gone

are

in his version of things anyway

and this was fun but maybe...

maybe it should end here

one last night

where he got to tell you goodbye

(with a kiss)

but this is Definitely Not Dr Who bby--- something crazy happens at the end and the goodbyes are put on hold while you two go on Just This One crazy space adventure (that is totally not just this one lol)

CUE THE DOCTOR WHO THEME BEING PLAYED ON THAT CAT PIANO!

Aki:

OOO BOY IS THIS DUDE IN DENIAL

no grace, no decorum, no hesistation

he sees your face in a crowd and runs up and hugs you and begins to tear up as he says how much he missed you

meanwhile you are in the iron grip of big excitable fox man (time has past since your death and he's grown some) whom you definitely don't know and also he's calling you bunny

you try to tell him he's got the wrong person sorry

BUT HE IS HEARING NONE OF IT

cue him telling you all about your lives together and talking you to the home of the autumn clan and doing anything and everything to desperately rejog your memories

if you do get your memories back then commence Aki's great romance two electric boogaloo

but if you can't then he will get so heart broken

he'll ask you to still stay

let him learn the new you

let him show you the him you forgot

let him love you again

please don't leave him

(if you do decide to leave low key Aki will follow you and try to check in on you from time to time)

(if not out right sneak stalk you)

(please accept his feelings reincarnated love-chan)

Haru:

shocked, stunned, shook

he sees your face from across the bar and he can't believe it

like actually he can't believe it

he ends up staring for a really long time

then he's just watching you from different spots around the bar

getting better looks at different angles

keeping the biggest eye on you and drinking you in

yep

it's definitely you

but it can't be

they must just look like you

a lot like you

like exactly

must be a distant relatives

genetics are crazy

or maybe you had a love child...???

NO.

no no no no

you were Haru's loyal mate until the day you died

you wouldn't

and even if you did, you def would've invited him to the threesome

(one of the reasons he loved you so much)

whatever

he must be so drunk out of his mind and crazy lonely that he's seeing shit

whatever, they're hot and he could use a you substitute in his bed (not like he's had many people in his bed after you anyway-- too heart broken)

so fuck it, fuck them (like, in the sex way not the angry way)

so he goes up and starts hitting on them and when they turn around

oh no

they're definitely you

right down to the look they're giving him

I won't lie, he panics and bolts

he can't stop freaking out about last night all the next day

so he goes to that bar again and low and behold there you are again

Haru can't tell if he's relieved or more panicked by that

but still he has to dig some more

so he goes back over, trying the whole time not to absolutely loose it

gives you some line about being overcome by your beauty which is why he left in a panic haha

but seriously he'd love to get dinner with you sometime, here's his number, give him a call

oh also what's your name

he again can't tell if he's happy or freaked when you do actually call

he spends the whole dinner gently prying for info and just generally vibe checking to see if they're like his dead lover

and they really are

they definitely look it

and thus begins Haru's new torment of being so fucking CONFLICTED

he's so freaked that it's like you're alive again but also so happy to have you by his side

I think there's a lot of push and pull until he spills the beans

and then even more after he does

this is about to be the messiest relationship of Haru's life

which is saying something

BUT HE CAN'T NOT, IT'S YOU

Fuyu:

Fuyu bumps into you by chance and he's the most torn up about it of the lot of them

and visibly so too, he can't hide his feelings on this even a little bit

I think he is the quickest to tell you the whole thing

and also he calls you by the name of your past life (which may or may not be your name now)

he really does believe you are his heavenly gift sent back to him because your love is so fated

he takes some time getting used to

it's actually funny, this is the exact opposite of who you two were the first time

he's so unbelievably open to you from the word go

he bares his heart and feelings so much

you look so much like yourself before you left him, he can't help it

you were his safe place that he let all his walls down around

he can't put them back up now

his heart is beating open and bloody for you

he doesn't try and play it cool, he doesn't beat around the bush

he let's you know who you were to him

ARE to him

and asks you to be his once again

steam rolling you with love

and then waiting 'patiently' (not patient, he's sitting by like a puppy who wants a bite of your food) for you answer

it's quite a situation you find yourself in, isn't it

[meownotgood]

I'm going back to bed the moment I post this but I've been having a super rough and stressful night... so for whatever reason I went back to read some of the kind asks I've received since I saved a lot... some since the first time I started writing... and I got so emotional and just began sobbing haha.... I can't believe how lucky I am...... I love writing so much.........