#aim carefully & use it wisely

[bumblequinn]

i feel like the internet would be a marginally healthier place if when ppl get mad about something online they type up a reply or post or tweet or make a video about it and save it as a draft and sleep on it instead of just hitting post. like writing an angry letter that you don't intend to send. you don't owe strangers inside your computer all of that stress!! release that aimless wrath and go live colorfully friend

[yeonzzzn]

stuck with me: park jongseong

pairing: jay x afab!reader word count: 26.2k

synopsis: in the middle of the apocalypse, you and jay find each other in a situation of life and death, using the protection of each other to get to the next safe zone. unfortunately for the both of you, things take a turn once secrets get revealed and the fight for survival becomes greater.

genre: enemies to lovers, zombie apocalypse!au, blonde jay, smuggler hyung line + smuggler txt, riize members + jungkook and namjoon make appearances, smut.

warnings: swearing, blood, weapons(guns and knives), drug mentions, make-out session, multiple unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f. rec), gun goes pew pew, mentions of d**th, MINORS DNI, lemme know if I missed anything ♡

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jay said, the barrel of his shotgun pointing straight ahead, his heart rate racing faster than just a second ago, index finger twitching as his whole hand shook. 

You stood across from him, pointing your pistol right back at him, aiming directly for the middle of his forehead. 

Unfortunately for you, you had three other shotguns pointing directly at you. 

Your glare didn’t relent as you eyed each of them. 

“You’d be wise to drop your weapon,” you darted to the one who spoke, his dark red dyed hair hung slightly over his eyes, a sure sign that he didn’t trust you. Which was fair. You didn’t trust them either. 

“Four against one,” one smirked, his natural fangs showing, “Be smart, girl.” 

“I was here first,” you snapped, eyes darting between the four of them, “Find another place to ransack.” 

Jay glanced to his left as Jake took a step ahead of him, “As if! Drop your fucking weapon!” he yelled at you. 

You scoffed, raising both hands up, slowly backing away. Vampire fangs was right, it was four against one. There was no scenario where you would win this fight. Not when four shotguns were being pointed at you with the low amount of ammo you had left. It was a loser situation. They slowly lowered their guns slightly, obviously still on edge. 

Jay watched you carefully as you backed away. Watching as your long-sleeved shirt forsaken you, revealing the white bandage wrapped around your forearm with blood soaking through. His heart raced faster, eyes widened. 

“She’s been fucking bit!!” the redhead snapped, all four of the boys' weapons locking back into place pointing at you. 

“Shit,” Jay hissed. 

You lowered your pistol back at the blonde, gritting your teeth. 

**5 HOURS BEFORE**

You stuffed your mouth with the extra shirt from your backpack, biting down as hard as your jaw let you, and rolled up your sleeve to your elbow, the bite mark on your forearm still looking as gross as ever. 

The bottle of medical alcohol you found at the hospital sat to your left on the counter as you dangled your bitten right arm over the hospital's sink. 

You grabbed the bottle and took a few massive deep breaths in before pouring the alcohol down onto the bite. 

Your grip on the shirt tightened as you hissed in pain, doing everything you could possible to keep your groans to a reasonably quiet level to not alert any living or undead beings that could be stalking the hospital to your current location. 

Once the last of the alcohol dripped from the bottle and onto your arm, you grabbed the paper towels and gently dabbed your skin then tossed the towels behind you. You then picked up the tube of ointment, spreading enough on your fingers to rub gently on the bite. Adding the finishing touch of wrapping the white bandages around the bite and securing it tight. 

You got lucky to have found all these supplies when you did or else you’d be dead soon due to infection and loss of blood. 

You quickly pulled your long-sleeve back down then tossed your extra shirt, along with your newfound medical supplies, into your backpack and threw it over your shoulders. 

In all honesty, besides just being lucky enough to have found these supplies, you were lucky to still even be breathing. 

It’s been three years since this hell started. Since the so-called “cure” for some wack-ass disease was created for treatment that ultimately backfired and turned anyone who took it into a man-eating monster. And as the world failed to contain the outbreak, if anyone who was affected by the treatment bit or even scratched someone else, it too turned them into man-eating monsters. Or zombies if you will. Maybe even runners, clickers, or bloaters if you played the famous “The Last of Us” video game before the world went to shit. The walking dead, walkers, lurkers, the infected. Basically, any term you can think of for zombies is literally what was happening. 

Before the world knew it, everyone was thrown into this universe of kill or be killed to survive. The strong-willed were the only ones who survived. Or unless you were lucky and packed up with others. Or even extremely lucky and live inside one of the safe zones and not have to worry about leaving it. 

Unfortunately for you, you were all the above, minus not getting to leave the comfort of the safe zone. 

The safe zone you lived in was small and quiet. Not a lot of people, maybe a little over three hundred. So when supplies ran low, teams were sent out to gather more. Your safe zone wasn’t lucky enough to have military aid, and even when the military did come by to give supplies, it never was enough. Guess they saw your safe zone as a waste of time. 

You’ve ventured out of the safe zone multiple times for supply runs, so when you were picked to be a part of the team to head out, you thought nothing of it. Thought of it as just another scouting and supply run…but it wasn’t. Clearly. 

Your luck had to run out at some point, and that day just so happened to be where the luck ended. 

Your team was stuck between a rock and a hard place, quite literally, actually. The rock technically being a wall and the hard place being the undead had your team surrounded with no chances of escaping. Two of your team members were already killed, one got bit and killed themselves to spare the pain of changing, leaving just you and four others. One got scratched on the leg and had no other chance of escaping. Bless that man because he used his last bit of flares and bullets to part the sea in a chance to let you and the others make a run for it. 

You held onto the hand of your best friend as you both booked it on the small clear path. And once the sea started to close, you knew it was over. Your friend was ripped from your hand, her screams filling your ears along with the others who were being torn apart. You wanted to give up. You should have given up. You were surrounded, and the smell of death from the unliving as they were only nearly inches away from you. But some spark of hope kept you moving forward. Some unrelenting force pushing you towards the window. Your best friend yelled at you to keep going. If you were honest, her voice wasn’t the only thing that gave that hope. Something else was drawing you to stay alive, and what could that have been? You didn’t know. But you wanted to find out. 

You guarded your neck and face with your arms as you jumped through the window, the sound of breaking glass being loud enough and the smell of your blood that now ran down your arms surely alerted any other zombies in the area. But you kept moving once your feet touched the ground and started sprinting. You kept moving even as the tears streamed down your face as you left your teammates behind. 

You were the lone survivor. 

It didn’t take you long to notice the bite on your forearm just above your wrist once you got to a water stream and soaked your cut and bruised arms from breaking the window. You thought you were done for. That everyone else’s sacrifices were all for nothing. You wouldn’t be accepted back at the safe zone if you even made it back to the safe zone. Once you’ve been bit or scratched it takes roughly twenty-four hours before you start turning. The safe zone was two days away. You wouldn’t make it. 

Except you did. 

It’s now been a month since you’ve been bitten and nothing about you has changed besides the fact you have a random ass zombie bite mark on your arm that is slowly, but surely, healing. It will be one hell of a scar. 

You knew returning back to the zone wouldn’t work. They’d kill you on the spot. Or if they let you back in and notice you’ve survived a bite mark…you’d just become an experiment. Just like in every zombie video game and movie. 

So you took to the life of being a lone wolf. Doing everything—and meaning everything—you needed to survive. 

You continued your search of the hospital, gathering more medical supplies and any food left behind. Along with more ammunition(even if it was just a few bullets) for your pistol and any other weapons to add to your arsenal. As you passed by a window, you noticed just how low the sun was setting, meaning you needed to either get to a safe place within the hospital or attempt to find a nearby building or house that was safer. 

Because let’s be honest, who knew who or what was in this hospital still. And you sure as fuck weren’t going to be sticking around long enough to find out. 

You lifted up your sleeve to check your bite, seeing a small amount of blood staining the bandage. You quietly cursed, knowing you had to leave as soon as possible before something detected your blood smell. The only thing that sucked about the bite being slow healing, is the fact it still bled and was still infected. You needed to get treated, but that came at a cost that wasn’t worth it. 

You quickly and quietly slipped out the same way you came in, darting into the overgrown nature the world was now, your pistol in hand and knife strapped at your thigh. 

**3 HOURS BEFORE**

“Are you being serious right now?” Jay scoffed, staring down at Heeseung as his hands, and parts of his face were stained red. 

Heeseung smirked as he looked up at his younger friend, “Obviously.” he chuckled, “We are in the zombie apocalypse, If I want to dye my hair red, I will dye my hair red.” 

Jay stared down at the hair supplies surrounding Heeseung on the floor, “Where the fuck did you even find all this?” 

Heeseung shrugged, “I found them a couple of months back the last time we left the zone. Only just now decided to put them to use.” 

Sunghoon let out a low laugh. He was sitting at the kitchen table with an old Polaroid camera in his hands. The old thing was broken, but that didn’t stop Sunghoon from wanting to fix it and use it, “You’d think being in the zombie apocalypse, dying your hair would be the last thing on your mind.” 

Jake agreed, “We should be stealing supplies that are needed.” 

“And this was needed!” Heeseung rolled his eyes, “Who says fashion had to die with the world?” 

Jay always loved how positive his older friend was. How unaffected he was by this fucked up world. But with the way his world came to an end, Heeseung kind of had no choice but to grin and bear it. To shove the past away and live in the now and for the future. Also being the oldest and taking up that mantle to be the sole source of happiness and good vibes for the group, he was better than the rest of the boys living in this cabin. 

Jay knelt down beside Heeseung on the floor, eyes wandering between all the supplies, “Damn you used up all the red.” 

Heeseung just smiled, “Want me to dye your hair?” 

Jay lifts his hand to run it through his black hair, debating if it even would be worth it. It would add some fun to his life. But ultimately he declined, “We are going out.” 

Jake groaned, and flopped himself down onto his bed, “Are we seriously sneaking out tonight?” 

Sunghoon leaned back in his chair, draping his arm over the back, “What are we smuggling out?” 

Jay shook his head, “It’s what we are going to smuggle in.” 

Heeseung kept his eyes pointed at the small square mirror he had propped up against a bike of old books on the floor as he continued to run his red dye-stained hands through his hair, “What could we possibly be smuggling in?” 

“Drugs, obviously,” Jake said, rolling onto his stomach, “What else could we smuggle into the zone that isn’t allowed to be here?” 

Jay shrugged, “I got a tip that a building about an hour south from here, someone from a neighboring safe zone dropped the drugs off there. We smuggle that in and sell that shit, we’d have enough money to last us for months.” 

“And who the fuck tipped you off?” Sunghoon scoffed, hands going back to fiddling with his camera. 

“I swear to god if you say Yeonjun,” Heeseung said with a click of his tongue, “Man is higher than a kite half the damn time.” 

Jay just smiles, “Nah, it wasn’t from Yeonjun or his crew.” 

“Then who?” Jake asked with pure confusion on his face. 

“Probably Jungkook,” Sunghoon guessed, “He’s the only other person who would care enough about smuggling drugs into the zone. He probably got someone in the jail to run their mouths to even pass on this information.” 

Jungkook was one of the local police officers in this safe zone. He wasn’t a dirty cop or anything, he just understood that sometimes people need a getaway. That getaway is either hard-core drugs, or even the lesser ones. Ones that either get you fucked up, or higher than a kite like Yeonjun is half the time. Either way, Jungkook allowed these four to sneak in and out of the zone as they pleased as long as they didn't get caught or bitten. Because once they got caught, Jungkook would hold no power to protect them. 

Jay just nodded and stood up, “We leave in an hour. Like I said, it would take us an hour to get to where we need to go.” 

“Oh, good!” Heeseung cooed, “That gives us plenty of time to bleach your hair.” 

Jay scrunched his nose, looking at the box of hair bleach sitting beside Heeseung. 

“There’s a pretty cool blonde color you can use, I sure as hell won’t use it.” 

Jay rolled his eyes and sat down beside his friend, “Make it quick.” 

**10 MINUTES BEFORE**

Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon all carefully walked into the small village that is said to have the drugs. 

Each of the boys kept their eyes open for the building that was described to them, guns locked and loaded and ready to fire in case of any trouble. 

The moonlight and the few shitty street lamps that still somehow worked were the only source of light they had to light the village. 

It was quiet, a bit too quiet for Jay’s liking but a blessing nevertheless. The last thing he needed was having to actually fire their weapons and alert any zombies their way. 

“Where the fuck is this building,” Jake softly snapped, “I do not like being out here.” 

“That makes two of us,” Heeseung agreed, “I don’t like the vibes here.” 

Most of the world has been overgrown with grass, plants, vines, etc etc etc. Each city or town or village outside the safe zones wouldn’t be well kept and taken care of. But this place? The grass was cut. Only a select few houses and buildings had vines covering them. Someone or a few people were taking care of this place. Jay could only imagine it was whoever dropped the drugs off here. Or so he hoped. 

You also found the small village, taking a mental note of how clean it was when it shouldn’t be. You didn’t like it, but you needed to eat, clean your bite, and sleep. This place would have to do until the sun comes up. 

Most of the houses or buildings were locked or covered in vines, and since the undead stalked around more freely at night, you didn’t want to risk breaking a door or window and settled for finding one that was already broken into. 

You found your way into a building where the door was barely holding onto its hinges. You walked in, seeing that it used to be an old convenience store that was yet to be raided. 

Your heart quickened at the sight, wasting no time to pile what food, medicines, and other supplies you could into your backpack. It was like you hit the jackpot, your luck showing off. 

Your luck brought you an old tin box sitting on a small shelf under the register (that unfortunately had zero money in it). You gently shook the box, hearing what sounded like a plastic bag shifting about. After opening the lid, your eyes widened at the contents.

Drugs. Hard ones. Ones that would knock you on your ass and get you high as fuck. You dug through the plastic bag, seeing some of the drugs were for pain in high dosages, which was perfect for your bitten arm. God damn were you lucky. 

You shoved the tin into your backpack, ready to find a place to sleep when a noise coming from the back of the store jolted you to a stop. Your heartbeat quickened and your breathing became unsteady. Your hand on your pistol tightened, shaking as you quietly walked towards the back. You prayed and prayed it was just some animal, or the wind blowing through the broken windows. 

You turned the corner towards the bathrooms, only to be met face-to-face with an undead monster. 

The thing hissed and groaned as it saw you, lunging forward, arms stretched out and drool dripping from its opened mouth. The smell of rotting flesh was enough to make you want to toss up everything you’d eaten that day. You only had enough time to take a few steps back before tripping over your own feet falling completely on your ass. 

You haven’t felt fear like this since you and your old team members got cornered. The flashbacks of watching your friends get eaten and torn about filled your brain. You started to panic, thinking this was it until that sparkle of hope filled you once again. You raised your pistol up, aiming at the zombie's head, and pulled the trigger twice. 

“Please tell me you all heard that too,” Heeseung whispered, the sounds of a gun being fired echoed across the village. 

“Yeah,” Jay took a deep breath in, “I heard it too.” 

The boys quickly went in the direction of the sound, eyes glancing in every direction to keep watch of any trouble until they found the building they were looking for and found something they weren’t expecting to find—you.  

You barely got to your feet and turned around when the four men approached you, shotguns aiming directly at you. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

And that’s how you all ended up here, guns pointing at each other with every intent to kill. 

“She’s been fucking bit!!” Heeseung snapped, all four of the boys' weapons locking back into place pointing at you. 

“Shit,” Jay hissed. 

You lowered your pistol back at Jay, gritting your teeth, “It’s not what you think.” 

“Like hell it is!!” Sunghoon yelled, “I should put a few rounds into you right now!” 

Jay couldn’t explain it, but something felt off about this, about you. Your wrap was soaked in blood, but you can clearly see the blood has darkened in some areas of the wrap. Usually, a person who has been bitten turns within twenty-four hours. Your wound looks older than that. 

You whipped your weapon back to vampire fang, narrowing your eyes, “Shoot me and I’ll sure as hell make sure to get some rounds into you too.” 

“Sunghoon,” Heeseung sternly said, “Stand down.” 

Sunghoon locked his jaw and took a few steps back. Heeseung noticed it as well. The longer he stared at you, the more he could tell your bite looked too old. 

“Hoon, Jake,” Jay said, barely turning his head to look at the younger too, keeping his weapon pointed at you, “Go find what we came here for so we can leave, I don’t want to stick around long enough to find out if she has more friends here.” 

The younger too nodded, slowly backing away and then turning on their heels, running in different directions to find what they came here for. 

Heeseung and Jay kept their eyes on you. You knew once they got whatever they came for they would leave you here or kill you. 

You preferred the first option. 

“Fuck!” Jake yelled, finding the whole place empty, “Nothing is here!” 

Heeseung and Jay narrowed their eyes at you, you could read it all over their faces that they came here for what you found and shoved into your backpack. 

“Fucking bitch, plan to take those drugs to knock your ass out while you change? Maybe kill yourself in the process?” 

You showed your teeth, “What is it to you?” You snapped, “I found it first, fuck off!” 

Jay took a step closer to you, and you took two back, “We have a lot—and I mean a lot—of money riding on those drugs, hand them over before I kill you and take them myself.” 

“Might as well just kill her,” Heeseung scoffed, “It’ll be a blessing compared to what she’ll feel once the change takes over.” 

“It's not what you think!” you yelled again. 

Heeseung wasn’t listening, not really caring either. He’s had enough. They needed those drugs, needed that money to keep his brothers alive. So he stepped toward you quickly, sliding his shotgun tied to the strap behind his back, one hand gripping your wrists and the other at your backpack. 

He was too quick for you to process or make a move. It was obvious at the way your pistol left your hands and was kicked to the blonde, the way his knee bent into the back of yours buckling you to the ground, that his man had done this plenty of times. Has been in plenty of fights and probably killed multiple people. 

But you’d be damned if you were going to go down this easy. 

You slammed your weight to your back, to knock his hand off your backpack, then moved to the left, putting all your force into his side to push him off you. But his grip on your left wrist was unrelenting, his fingers held just above your wrap, slowly sliding it off. 

You managed to get him off you, sending him to his ass. You quickly stood to your feet, only to be met with your pistol touching your forehead, the blonde's eyes like fire burning into you. Jake and Sunghoon standing back behind him, pointing their guns at you again. 

“Heeseung,” Jay said, “You good buddy?” 

Your eyes darted to the redhead, watching as he stood up, eyes piercing. 

You looked back at the man in front of you, raising your hands back up, “Take the fucking drugs, this shit ain’t worth it.” It really wasn’t worth it. Even if you got away these four would chase you down until they got the box and killed you. You needed to survive for the sake of the friends you’ve lost. 

You kept your eyes locked with the blonde as Heeseung was now at your back, digging into it to pull out the tin box.  

Jay was about to pull away when his eyes darted back to your wrist, seeing the bite. Without thinking his free hand gripped your bitten wrist and pulled it forward, lowering the pistol to lift your sleep up higher. 

“Shit,” he hissed, “Guys, come look at this.” 

You were now surrounded by the four of them looking at your wound, every single one of their eyes widening. 

You also glanced down at your bite, it was obvious it was infected from it not being taken care of, but it was healing. And it was obvious that it was. 

“You’re immune?” The redhead said, his eyes now lifting to examine your face, “How is that possible?” 

Jay locked eyes with you again, then with his friends, “What the fuck have we gotten ourselves into?” 

—

Sneaking out of the safe zone with four people is one thing. But sneaking back in with four people while SMUGGLING another life and illegal drugs is another. 

The safe zone might be one of the biggest in the world, but everyone knows who Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon are. So with you standing in the middle of the four as you all climbed up through a hole that leads into an abandoned broken-down home and the face of a military officer staring back at you, your heart sank. And the looks of the four boys around you were evidence enough that you all just got caught. 

“What the actual fuck is going on?!” the officer snapped, his eyes filled with such a fire that I made you want to duck under the boys and back down to the hole and escape into the free world. 

“Jungkook,” Heeseung said, raising his hands up, letting his shotgun dangle from his chest, “Listen, man, we didn’t plan this either.” 

“You know they keep count of every mother fucker in this safe zone!” Jungkook snapped

“We know!” Heeseung snapped back, “But you’re going to want to see this.” 

Heeseung whips around to you, reaching his hand out for you to take it, nodding his head to move closer to him, “Come here, YN.” 

You glare at him, shaking your head. You still didn’t trust these four boys, why would you willingly hand over your secret to a military officer? 

Jake nudged you forward, stumbling over your feet and reaching for Heeseung’s hand anyway. 

Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest and it made your heart sink even more. The man was BUFF. His big strong arms flexed naturally and the tattoos that ran from his hand and up his right arm made him seem even more scary, like this man could snap your neck without breaking a sweat. 

Heeseung barely lifted your sleeve up to expose your bite and Jungkook was five steps back with his pistol drawn out towards you. 

What’s with everyone pointing guns at you today?

“You brought an INFECTED here?!” he yelled, the hell fire burning in his eyes raging more, “I should kill each of you right now for bringing her here.” 

Heeseung rolled his eyes and pulled your sleeve up further, “Fucking look!” 

Jungkook stared down at your arm, his gun slowly falling to the floor, “How can that be possible?” 

A question for you. 

You just looked down at the bite, shaking your head, “I don’t know.” 

Jungkook silently looked between you all, “Fuck!” 

He shoved his pistol back into the holster at his hip and paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. 

“Get her back to the house, NOW!” he growled, pointing a finger at all four of them one by one, “Do not let anyone see her, you understand?” They all nodded, “Good, and make sure she fucking bathes and gets that wound cleaned up and wrapped. I’ll come by when I get my head straight.” 

You now walked even closer in between the four boys than what you were earlier, wandering your eyes to every person you walked passed, scared you’d be discovered. That feeling eased up a bit as they led you down an alleyway, then across another street before quickly shuffling you inside what you assumed was their home. 

Once the door was closed and deadbolted, you scanned their home. It was small, but big enough to house the four of them. 

There weren’t any rooms, so their four beds lined up against the west side of the house, with a couch across from it with a small table and a radio beside it. 

Their kitchen on the east side of the house was also small, fitting enough space for the normal kitchen essentials and a table for eating in the middle, a bathtub sitting in the corner. 

You were scared for a second about how these four use the bathroom but noticed outside the kitchen window an outhouse. 

“This used to be a storage house,” Jake said, dropping his body onto the couch, “The four of us fixed it up and made it our home. It’s not much, but it’s something.” 

It was definitely better than the places you’ve been sleeping in recently. 

Jay was now handing you a clean pair of clothes, “Wear these after you bathe, we’ll find you some that fit better tomorrow.” 

You thanked him and walked to the tub, dropping your backpack into a chair at the table. You stared at the tub with excitement. You’ve been without a proper bath since being bitten and the thought of getting a warm bath made your heart sink. 

You turned the hot water knob, watching as the clean water flowed into the tub. Most safe zones were lucky if they had clean running water and basically electricity. The bigger zones obviously are the luckier ones. Yours, on the other hand, had no electricity and water was so scarce there were designated days when people were allowed to bathe. 

Without another thought, your hands went to the hems of your shirt and slowly started lifting. 

“Woah woah what the fuck are you doing?!?” Sunghoon snapped, his heart racing at the sight of barely seeing your belly. 

“I’m fixing to bathe? I stink?” 

“And you are just going to strip in front of us?!?” Jake said, the clear blush settling in on his cheeks. 

You scoffed, letting out a laugh, “The world is ending as we know it and you’re worried about seeing a female naked? Shouldn’t you be glad to see it?” 

Jake sat in silence, his eyes now wandering to Heeseung and Jay, who kept their eyes on you, their reactions haven't changed since you first met them. 

“Well, I’m not about to be labeled as a pervert,” Sunghoon said, rushing back to the front door, “I’m going to sit outside.” 

“Yeah same here,” Jake jumped from the couch, following his best friend out. 

Heeseung finally looked at Jay, who was already staring back at him. 

You watched as their eyes communicated with each other in a silent language that you didn’t know. Then with a nod Heeseung turned and followed Jake out, closing the door behind him. 

Jay’s eyes were back on you, his facial expression still not changing. 

“What? Not going to follow your friends out?” 

He shrugged, “Someone has to make sure you don’t steal our shit and make a run for it.” 

You glared at him and scoffed, “I survived for months with less than what you have here, my safe zone didn’t have anything and I made it perfectly fine even after I was bit and couldn’t return back. I have no need for your stuff.” 

Which was true. You survived perfectly fine without the gifts the bigger safe zones had. And then with you having to hunt for your food and survive on less than your safe zone. You didn’t need his shit. You were perfectly fine. 

Jay just shrugged again, crossing his arms behind him as he kept his eyes on you. And you took it as a challenge. 

You slid your shirt from your body and let it hit the floor, keeping eye contact with him as your fingers went to your jeans, unbuttoning and dropping them to your ankles. 

Jay was completely unfazed as he looked at you with nothing but your sports bra and panties on. He was more focused on the scars that covered both your arms. 

“What are those from?” he asked. You already knew where his eyes were looking. 

“Happened the same day I was bitten,” you said, now looping your fingers into your sports bra and pulling it over your head, “I had to jump through a window before I got killed by our lovely undead friends outside the safe zone.” 

Jay wanted to ask about how you even got into the situation that led to getting bitten and jumping through a window. Shit had to have been rough. 

Jay continued looking over your body, eyes stopping at your breasts and then back up to your eyes. You smirked at him, “Not going to turn around?” 

He once again shrugged, “Like you said, I have bigger things to worry about than seeing a naked woman in front of me.” 

You quickly scanned him up and down, not seeing any signs that your almost completely naked body was affecting him, “Does it not bother you?” 

“It’s just skin, YN.” 

Fair enough. 

You dropped your panties to the floor and climbed into the tub, stinking your body in completely, letting the hot water fill you with warmth for a few seconds before turning the knob to stop the flow of water. 

Jay watched you relax, watched as your hands rubbed up and down your scarred arms. He wanted to press more about them, to ask how it was possible you even survived whatever happened, mostly with how your bite is clearly infected from not being taken care of properly. 

“Are you going to keep staring at me or what??” 

“Would you rather I sit down and whip my dick out?” he narrows his eyes at you. 

“Fucking prick,” you scowled. 

“Don’t ask stupid fucking questions then.” 

“We just met and you’ve already seen me naked and it had no effect on you yet you keep staring at me. I think I deserve to ask the “stupid” questions.” 

You just stared back at him, trying to read his face but getting nothing. 

To be honest, sex was the last thing on Jay’s mind. He’s been through way too much bullshit to let some random woman and her cunt affect him that easily. It’s not even that he was disinterested in sex, he had plenty of women around the safe zone that would drop to their knees so fast for him. Plenty of women he’s taken to his bed and pleasured them all night long. But sex wasn’t something he needed to survive like how so many other people in safe zones act like and turn to in a way to forget that the world went to shit. Jay couldn’t afford to let that happen with him. 

Plus Jay didn’t even know you and wasn’t some asshole to force you into sex with him all because you stripped in front of him. 

You eventually looked away from him, giving up on trying to read him, “Can I have a washcloth and soap?” 

Jay walked to one of the cabinets, pulled out a new bar of soap, a washcloth, and some old shampoo, and then handed them all to you, you mumbled out a thanks. 

You all of a sudden felt guilty, thinking maybe Jay possibly had a girlfriend or even a wife and you just bared yourself to him. But then wiped that thought off the table, there was no way. Because if he did he would be with them, not some smuggler. Then another thought came into your head and it was so simple: maybe he just didn’t find you attractive. 

You felt your self-esteem plummet and any confidence you had was out the window. You already figured you had a fair body, curvy hips, and busty breasts. The boy back home you used to fuck around with was always finding ways to bend you over. It boosted your ego, but maybe it boosted it too high if some random stranger’s dick didn’t get hard at the sight of you stripping in front of him. 

Jay read your expressions like a book, getting more confused than anything at why you’d let what he thinks affect you. You clearly were strong-willed and a survivor, already proving enough that you didn’t need the fancy things to keep surviving. So why let those small stupid thoughts affect you that way? 

Jay went to confront you, but the knocking at the door pulled him back, turning his head slightly to listen, “Jungkook is here,” Heeseung called from the other side of the door. 

Jay looked back at you, “You can go deal with whatever that is,” you said as you ran the washcloth over your arms, “I promise I won’t steal anything or go anywhere. Don’t know my way around this zone anyways.” 

Which was true, you were so focused on not being seen that you wouldn’t remember the way to sneak out. 

Jay just nodded, turning around and heading for the door, “Just so you know,” he said stopping at the door, “I might seem like a pervert for saying it, but you do have a sexy body, and don’t let anyone tell you differently or make you think differently. Don’t take it not affecting me personally, I truly have more important things to worry about than getting laid.”  

Then he slipped out the door, leaving you alone in the house. 

Jungkook stood on the grass with his hands on his hips, eyes wandering everywhere, making sure no one else was about to hear what he was fixing to speak about. 

“What’s up?” Jay asked, standing beside Heeseung. 

“Her bite mark,” Jungkook started, “It looks about a month old, ya?” 

All four men nodded, “It’s what she told us too, on the way here,” Jake said, “Don’t know how true that could be though.” 

“There’s been some rumors—strictly just rumors—that there’s been a few others that have been found immune,” Jungkook said barely above a whisper, his eyes continuing to dart around the area. 

“How is that possible?” Heeseung asked, “Three years and there has yet to be a cure to stop this madness and now you’re telling me there are others like her that are immune?” 

“There were others like her,” Jungkook sighed, “They either were killed before they got to the capital or killed themselves before being taken there. But again, it’s baseless rumors. No proof, until her.” 

Sunghoon scoffed, “Can we please get to the point of all this?” 

“Hoon,” Heeseung said with a warning. 

“I contacted the capital and told them we found an immune,” The four men stood in silence, staring at Jungkook, not knowing what to say or expect next, “So,” Jungkook was smirking now, “I have a job for you four.” 

Jake chuckled, “You’re fucking crazy, man.”

Jungkook shot him a warning look, a silent reminder of who he was and what his rank was, “At least hear my offer first before calling me crazy,” Jake crossed his arms and waited for Jungkook to continue, “One million. Each. If you drag her across the country to the capital.” 

One million. Each. That’s four million dollars. They would be fucking set, no longer having to worry about fighting for money to buy food and survive. No longer having to leave the safe zone to smuggle shit in and out for money. They would be safe to finally just live. But the problem lies in the trip. And that trip wasn’t worth it. 

“Nah,” Jake laughed, “You got me fucked up. I am a smuggler, not an escort. Make the government come pick her ass up. Not my circus, not my monkeys.” 

Everyone’s eyes were back on Jungkook. He shrugged, “They have other things to worry about besides making that trip to pick up one individual. Plus it would make a scene if they flew in here and just took her. It would make it obvious that there are immune in this world. It would cause a panic, give the people false hope for a cure.” 

Jay watched as each of his friends shook their heads, saying how it wasn’t worth it to drag a stranger across the fucking country to hand you over just for the possibility of a cure being found. 

They all talked over each other, Jungkook trying to convince them with all the money they would have, and the three others not accepting it. 

“Fucking hell, I’ll go alone,” Jay said without even realizing he was opening his mouth. 

“Jay, no!” Heeseung snapped, “That bitch ain’t worth it! We stick to our normal jobs!” 

Jay looks at Jungkook, “If I take her alone will we still get four million total?” Jungkook nodded, and that’s all Jay needed. 

“You’re fucking stupid, man!” Sunghoon hissed, “What are you thinking?!” 

“That we would be fucking set and not have to beg ever again for food or work our asses off in this stupid prison for money and food. To never have to worry about stepping foot outside this zone. To remain safe,” Jay didn’t realize he was holding his breath as he said that, taking a massive inhale in and clenching his fingers against his biceps, “When would we leave?” 

“Tomorrow night, It’ll give me enough time to let the capital know you accepted their offer and to gather enough weapons and materials for your journey.” 

Jay just nodded, “I am doing this, and you can’t stop me.” 

Heeseung gritted his teeth, “And what if they kill her the moment you hand her over?” 

Jay just shrugs, “Not my circus, not my monkeys. But at least we’ll have four million dollars.” 

—

You covered your hands over your ears, closing your eyes tightly. Your breathing was uneven as you heard your heartbeat in your ears, Jay’s voice was muffled and drowning out of the sound of your heartbeat and the screams of the undead surrounding the area. 

“YN!!” he said loud enough for you to hear him but quiet enough for the undead to not hear him, “YN, calm down!” 

You couldn’t hear him, you just knew he was speaking to you. The memories of being cornered in the building resurfaced. The sounds of your friends screaming, the smells of the dead, and the blood dripping from everyone. The visions of you feeling your best friend being ripped away from you. Everything was replying over and over. 

You started to hyperventilate, your every breath loud enough to draw the undead in your and Jay’s direction. 

Jay grabbed both of your wrists, trying to pull them from your ears, him repeating your name over and over again but nothing worked. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, taking a look around. The two of you were in a safe enough spot that the zombies wouldn’t be able to reach you, but once they found where you both were hiding…it was over. 

Jay placed his hands on top of yours, “YN, look at me.” But you didn’t respond, your breathing getting worse as the time ticked by. 

He was running out of ways to calm you down and get you to be quiet. His heart was racing faster as fear was overtaking him and his options running low. 

Jay slides his hands to your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing over the back of your hands at your ears. Without another thought, he moved forward. 

**A WEEK BEFORE**

Jay forced you to get as much rest as possible to be awake enough for the start of the journey to the capital. 

Jungkook said it would be a five-month walk there if everything went smoothly and no hiccups on the road on the way there. Or ya know, the two of you don’t get killed. 

The moment Jungkook knocked on the door to the house, Heeseung quickly answered, swinging the door open to let him slip in before anyone could see. 

He carried two backpacks filled with food, medicine, and weapons and ammunition. 

“This should last you both the five-month journey,” He said, pushing his tongue into the side of his cheek, “That's if you ration the food and the ammunition. Just don’t put yourselves into situations to have to use too much.” 

Jay scoffed, sliding the backpack onto his shoulders, “Don’t you know who you’re talking to?” 

Jungkook chuckled, pulling him into a quick hug, “Safe travels.”

Jungkook didn’t say another word as he darted out of the house, Heeseung closing and locking the door behind him. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Jake said with a shake of his head, “There’s no need to do this. We’ve survived perfectly fine before.” 

Jay has been weighing out his options ever since agreeing to do this. Always leaning toward taking this trip. He didn’t want to watch his brothers suffer anymore. Yeah they all weren’t struggling, but they would be so much better off once that money was in his hands. 

The amount of food they would have to fill their bellies, not having to worry about rationing. Not having to shove money away just to save up for the food, more clothes, and the other bills this safe zone forced on the residents here. They wouldn’t have to smuggle ever again. Jungkook could get off their backs about certain jobs. They would be free. 

“I have to do this,” Jay breathes, “I want to do this.” 

And hey, who knows? Maybe giving her off to the capital will make a cure and the world could be saved. Maybe. 

Sunghoon pulls Jay’s shotgun from the hidden closet, “Just don’t do anything stupid, ya?” 

Jay chuckled, “I’ll leave the stupid here with you three.” 

Everyone laughed but you and Heeseung, who stood at the door still and leaning against the wall, arms crossed and his face filled with worry. 

You have only known these guys for a short time, but you can tell each of them rely on each other for everything. Whatever terrible things these four had to endure before the outbreak and even after…they became family. Inseparable. Bonded for the rest of their lives. 

Jay pulled the younger two into hugs, saying how he’ll be back within a year. 

Heeseung pushed himself off the wall, dropping his arms to pull Jay into a hug, the older locking his jaw when he looked at you, “You come back in one piece, got it!”

Jay rolled his eyes, “You know I will Hee.” 

Heeseung pulled away, finally looking away from you, “She better be worth all this fucking trouble,” he whispers, eyes quickly darting to you to see you adjusting your backpack on your shoulders, “What will you do if they actually kill her the moment you get there?” 

Jay just shrugs, “Not my problem once the money is in my hands.” 

Heeseung sighs, “She’s still a human being. I can only imagine how life has been since finding out she was immune.” 

Jay tilted his head back to look at you, to look at the wrap that barely stuck out of your long-sleeve shirt. “She probably has been through hell to keep it a secret.” 

You look back up at them, “Ready to go yet or are you two going to make out before we leave?” 

Heeseung rolled his eyes, “Good luck with that attitude man,” 

Jay sighed, “Yeah. I’ll need it.” 

It didn’t take the two of you long to leave the house and quickly and quietly make your way back to the same tunnels and escape route you used to get into the safe zone. 

Jay helped pull you out of the manhole then kicked the metal plate back over it and locked it tightly. 

He swung his shotgun from his back to his front, positioning his hands in the right places before walking ahead of you, “Come on, let’s get this over with Miss Immune.” 

You snarl at him but follow behind anyway. 

This was the last thing you wanted to happen. To be turned into the capital. To be used as some experiment and plaything for scientists to gock over. 

“Might as well just kill me and get it over with,” you scoffed, keeping your eyes on the ground, stepping over everything Jay was, “They will just kill me eventually.” 

Jay shrugged, “You’re worth four million to them, they can do whatever they want after they have you in their hands.” 

“Such a gentleman,” you teased, “Did your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?” 

He chuckles, “My manners went out the window the moment you pointed a gun at my head.” 

You glared at the back of his head, “Says the one that surrounded me with four shotguns and then pointed my pistol directly to my forehead.”

Jay said nothing in return and kept walking forward. Eventually slinging his gun back around his back, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Neither of you spoke for hours as the night pressed on. The woods were quiet, a bit too quiet for your liking and the only thing making you feel at ease was the fact Jay kept his gun resting on his back and hands shoved into his pockets. He obviously knew these woods better than you. He was a smuggler, after all. 

Even after all the sleep you received back at the house, drowsiness found you anyway. You yawned and rubbed your eyes, “Can we find somewhere to sleep?” 

Jay didn’t realize how tired he was either until after hearing your voice, a yawn escaping his lips as well, “There’s a small shed we’ve used when our smuggling routes take a couple of days, we can stop there to eat and sleep.”

“How far is it?” you asked, not knowing how much longer you could actually go. 

Jay looks at the surrounding area before he answers, “About another hour.” 

You groaned but accepted it. Soon enough the small shed came into view. It was overgrown with vines and weeds but still stood strong. 

Sleep hit you the minute you dropped into the dusty cot, not caring enough to clean it. Jay did the same. 

The moment the sun started to shine through the shed, Jay woke you up and started the journey again. 

The whole day passed in silence, only speaking when spoken to and only stopping for food, bathroom breaks, and to rest. 

A week has passed when the two of you approach an old factory building. A long chain-linked fence surrounded the area. 

“Shit,” Jay scoffed, “We’ll have to cut through.” 

“Can’t just, like you know, go around?” it was such a simple question, yet Jay looked at you as if you asked the stupidest question in the world, “Fine!” you snapped, holding your hands up in defense, “You’re the one who knows better, right?” 

“We’d waste time going around,” Jay locks his fingers around the holes of the fence, “Every second counts, plus this place might have materials we can gather.” 

And there he goes, climbing up and over the fence, carefully dropping himself back to the ground and turning to face you, “Well?” he raised a brow, “Get your ass moving.” 

You roll your eyes and attach your fingers and toes of your boots in the loops, lifting yourself up, crawling to the top, and swinging your leg over the top, “Catch me?” 

Jay narrowed his eyes, “You survived by yourself for god knows how long before meeting me, and now you’re acting like you need help?” 

“I’m scared of heights,” 

“You’re fucking joking.” 

You smile, clearly loving how he reacts to your teasing, “Yeah I’m fucking with you,” you dropped down to the ground, Jay’s hands quickly resting on your shoulders to keep you from losing balance, “Learn to live a little, okay?” 

His glare was unrelenting as you walked past him, “I lived plenty before the world ended.” 

You watched as he hurried past you, wanting to ask what he meant. To know some part of how he was before the world went to utter shit. You were stuck with him for five months, might as well get to actually know him, right? 

You opened your mouth to ask him, only to be met with his hands now on you. One covering your mouth and the other pulling you to his chest, backing the both of you up against a truck, “Keep quiet, we have company.” 

Your eyes wander to where he was looking, seeing the few undead friends that lurked around the entrance to the factory. 

You pulled his hand from your mouth, catching your breath and assessing what to do. 

“We need to find a way around without alerting them.” 

“I already know that, YN,” he whispers, “The question is how.” 

Jay searched the area, pinpointing every safe spot that led to the door. 

“Okay,” he released you from his grip, “Stay on my ass.” 

You followed on his heels, holding your breath the entire way until his hands touched the handle of the factory door and pushed it open. 

You glanced around at your undead friends who stalked around, their bodies bunched over as they slowly dragged their feet with each step they took, grunts leaving their mouths. 

Jay peaked into the factory, the only light showing was from the windows, barely giving off enough light for him to confirm the opening at least, was clear. 

He carefully and quickly slid between the doors, reaching back out to pull you in behind him, closing the door and locking it for extra protection. 

You both took in the factory. It was a complete mess. Tables, papers, machinery, torn clothes, and everything in between covered the floors. The smell of this place was disgusting. The mixture of oils, grease, blood, and dead things—probably both humans, zombie, and animals—filled the air. 

You tried to not throw up your lunch, covering your mouth with your hand, “I don’t like it here.” 

“That makes two of us,” Jay said softly, “Taking a flashlight from his backpack, “Let’s get moving, and keep quiet, we don’t know what’s in here.” 

You followed behind him at a distance, eyes wandering over everything possible, looking for any material that could aid you both. But so far, nothing. Everything was either broken or just couldn’t be used. Nothing of help or a service to either of you. 

Jay had a bad feeling about this place, like whatever happened here was a lot worse than the remnants of this place give off. It was way too quiet to just be abandoned. His gut feeling told him to look for anything—and everything—possible that would stick out. Things that shouldn’t be here. He swallowed hard, flashing his light down to the floor, seeing scratch marks going in every direction, dried blood staining the tile. 

Then it clicked in his head. Everything made sense. 

This whole factory was a trap. 

This place wasn’t abandoned. Not even close. It was purposely left like this to lure in survivors, making them think they found a safe place to hide. Whoever ran this factory obviously wasn’t here, or else something would have already gone wrong. “YN,” he whispers, “This place is a trap.” 

“I know,” you said with a shaky breath. Jay was alerted to the tone of your voice, whipping around to see the tears swelling your eyes. He traced his eyes down, seeing the cord you’ve stepped on, “Something clicked when I stepped on it,” you tried to hold back the tears, to look brave in front of him, to look like a survivor. But you failed, the fear washing over you too quickly, “Jay,” you cried. 

“Shhh, no, hey,” he quickly gets closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Calm down, let me figure out what to do.” 

You nodded, feeling a tear slide down your cheek. Jay lifted his hand and wiped away the tear, cupping your face and tracing his fingers along your jaw as he walked away from you, following where the cord led. It was plugged into one of the machines. He wandered his eyes back to the other end of the core, following it back to your feet, and then continued to where it was plugged into the wall. Jay wasn’t stupid, he knew if he just unplugged the cord it would make the machine react. He and Jake have rigged multiple machines to still set off if unplugged. The only way would be to cut the cord completely. 

Jay knelt to his knees, setting the flashlight to the floor and sliding a folded knife from his pocket, whipping it open. He took a deep breath, counting down from three before folding the cord and cutting it. 

You cry out and drop to your knees, covering your hands over your ears at the ringing alarm that Jay set off. 

“Fuck!” He screamed, quickly standing back to his knees and rushing to you, “We need to fucking go, NOW!” 

Whoever this bastard was that rigged that trap was a damned genius, an absolute asshole, but a genius. To rig a machine to set off an alarm when cut? The more Jay thought about it as he dragged you back up to your feet, the more he realized the alarm would have been set off either way. Cutting the power in either way would have set the alarm off. 

The two of you barely took a few steps when the sounds of the undead surrounded the factory outside, because, of course, it would. That damn alarm just alerted whatever was outside—and inside—this factory. He needed to get that alarm off, and now. 

Jay dragged you with him to what looked like the office of the building, not wasting time checking for a button or way to turn it off. He whipped the shotgun around and sent bullets into every control panel until the alarm went silent. 

But unfortunately, Jay letting some rounds into the panel only sent whatever dead friends that were in the building to their exact location. 

Jay grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the office, running as fast as he could and praying your legs could keep up with him. This wasn’t the first time he’s had to run from these monsters, or even hide from them. It wasn’t a skill he wanted to mark off his checklist of survival but had no nevertheless. You’ve only had to run from them the night your friends were killed while you fled. Your legs felt like they were led to the memory coming back. 

You started to lose your breath, the fear covering every inch of you as you tried to focus on Jay’s back, on the warmth of his hand wrapped in yours. It worked for a bit as he dragged you down every hallway to find an exit. Worked until you both ran past a door, that just so happened to have zombies crawling inside it, who watched the two of you run back. 

You heard the crack of the door first, Jay heard it the second time. His head whips around to see the wood of the door barely breaking and see them pile out of the room. 

Jay acted fast, shoving you into an office room he prayed was safe. His eyes worked their magic, scanning as quickly as he could and seeing the room was in fact, clear. His hands only left you for a few seconds to close the door carefully, praying they didn’t hear it. But obviously, and because why would they not, heard the shut of the door anyway, alerting them in this direction. 

They ran past, obviously not knowing which room you two snuck into, but their loud groans, hisses, and whales were loud enough to send every zombie on this side of the factory toward this hallway. 

Which is how you ended up here. Back pressed to the wall, hands to your ears as you hyperventilate. 

He was running out of ways to calm you down and get you to be quiet. His heart was racing faster as fear was overtaking him and his options running low. 

Jay slides his hands to your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing over the back of your hands at your ears. Without another thought, he moved forward. 

He connected his lips to yours, taking in every breath you let out. You opened your eyes quickly, seeing him staring back at you. You focused on the brown of his eyes, focused on the way his lips felt against yours. Your heart rate slowed, and the shaking of your hands stopped. It wasn’t even like he was kissing you kissing you, he just held his lips to yours, unmoving. 

You waited for him to pull away, to pull away and tease you for being a scary cat. But he didn’t. 

His eyes slowly closed, quickly removing his lips and connecting them again, pressing his lips harder to yours. You also closed your eyes, kissing him back. Your hands at your ears, slipped down to his wrists, squeezing them tightly as he shifted his hands to the edge of your jaw, fingers gripping the back of your head. 

Jay doesn’t know what came over him, he only planned to kiss you once and have it be long enough to steady out your breathing. But something drew him in and he couldn’t stop. 

Jay licks your bottom lip, waiting for your mouth to open and let him inside. His tongue explored every inch of your mouth as you sucked on the muscle, savoring the taste of him. 

His grip on your face tightens as he softly groans into your mouth, clearly losing himself. Knowing he needed to stop but not being able to. The feel of your lips being addicting. 

You need to stop, you need to stop, you need to stop. 

The sounds of the zombies outside the door faded, the world finally becoming quiet and it was enough to make him stop. 

Jay quickly pushed away from you, sliding himself across the floor and to the other side of the office, completely out of breath. He brought his knees to his chest in hopes of hiding the raging boner in his pants, dropping his face into his palms, then running them through his hair. 

You took a few deep breaths, not taking your eyes off him. 

“We will give it time before leaving, to make sure everything is clear to leave,” he said, doing everything he could to not look at you. 

You nodded as if he could see it anyway. And not another word was spoken. 

—

It’s been two months since he’s kissed you. Two months' worth of him doing everything to not look at you, to not touch you. He barely has been able to even speak to you. Reminding himself over and over again what his true mission was: to hand you over to the capital, get paid, and get his ass back home. Nothing else mattered. 

Nothing. 

You dropped to your knees, wiping the sweat from your forehead, “Jay?” he ignored you and kept walking forwards, “Jay!” silence, “ASSHOLE!!!” 

Jay turned around, piercing holes into you with his eyes that were also on fire at you calling him an asshole. At least it finally got his attention. 

“I am tired,” you breathed, wiping the sweat that was already recollected on your forehead. 

“Okay, and?” he said calmly. If it weren’t for the fire burning in his eyes you would have thought he was actually calm. But Jay couldn’t afford to be nice to you, not when he’s fighting every demon within himself to not press his lips against yours again. Not when he has four million dollars waiting for him. 

You glared back at him, “I need rest? We’ve been walking for days straight and only took a couple of breaks to sleep for an hour.” 

“How the fuck did you survive alone for so long?” he questioned, starting to think maybe you just hid the entire time before they found you, “what happened to that attitude when we first met?” 

You stood back to your feet, quickly walking past him and shoving your middle finger in his face, barely grazing his nose, “Want my attitude? Here it is asshat.” 

Jay smirked as he watched you walk ahead of him, eyes without his permission moving from the back of your head down to your hips, watching the way they sway. Jay scoffed at himself, quickly dropping his eyes to the ground and rushing after you, “Smartass, you don’t even know where you are going.” 

You stopped walking, staring straight ahead. 

But Jay didn’t stop, and ran right into you, almost knocking you over completely, his hands quickly grabbing your shoulders. His rage settled in again, “What the fuck! Don’t just stop wa—“ 

“Long time no see, Jay Park.” 

He moved on autopilot, hands rushing to your waist and shoving your behind him in the same motion of wiping his gun from his back to front, finger itching to pull the trigger, “Same to you, Choi Soobin. What are you doing so far out from your zone?” 

The blonde smirked, “Was on a smuggle run, but shouldn’t I be asking you that question, Jay?” 

 A laugh from behind, “Yeah, aren’t you the one who is a little too far from your zone?”

You pulled your pistol from its holster, facing your back to Jay’s and pointing it at a blue-haired man. 

Jay narrowed his eyes, snaking one hand behind him to grab your shirt, pulling you closer to him, back to back, keeping his shotgun aimed at Soobin, “I am also on a smuggling run, Huening Kai, just passing through.” 

“You know,” a voice to his right, “This is our territory, there is just no passing through here.” 

Jay was barely able to glare to his right, seeing Beomgyu pointing a rifle at you and him. 

Then another laugh to the left of him, his eyes darting to see Taehyun walking closer, also pointing his rifle, ��Jay, did you really think we wouldn’t have seen you two when you got close to our zone?” 

Jay just chuckled, not because of the fact they were even close to another zone, but because he let themselves get close to another zone. He was so caught up in trying to ignore you and push down his demons that he didn’t realize how close he pulled you both here. But he kept laughing, “What I think is Yeonjun is missing out, isn’t he? My feelings hurt that he isn’t here.” 

Soobin just smiled, “You think my brothers would just leave me behind?” Yeonjun said, finally making his appearance from behind Soobin, “That wounds me.” 

Jay just rolls his eyes, “Are we done here? I have important shit to do.” 

“Like what?” the blonde leader asked, his eyes darting behind Jay to look at you, “What are you smuggling, exactly?” 

You pressed your back harder against Jay’s, feeling his hand tighten at your shirt. 

Soobin just tilts his head, his smile growing wider, “Don’t tell me it’s the girl.” 

Your heart stopped and Jay kept quiet, not having a damn thing to say as a comeback. The only thing on his mind was to protect you, to keep you so close to him that he could fuse with you if possible. 

But Jay knew telling the truth, or well parts of it, was the only way to get around when it came to these five. Jay has dealt with them enough in the past to know how they work, “I’m taking her to the capital.” 

“Jay!” you snapped. 

“Shut up!” was his reply to you, “She’s important to the capital and I have been tasked to get her there. We honestly were just passing through, it’s my bad we got too close.” 

Soobin looked between the eyes of each of his brothers, each of them giving him nods and shrugs, “It’s getting late, don’t want you getting caught up with our…walking dead at night. Stay in our zone for the night.”

Jay wanted to say no, to say they were fine. But the death truth was they were running low on supplies. Needed clean clothes and showers. Your bite mark needed to be cleaned, which is why Jay thinks you’re been more out of it the last few days than normal. He knew you also needed some proper sleep and not being able to find any safe place in days to actually give you that rest killed him, “Fine. We leave at first light.” 

You wanted to protest, turning around completely to yell at him, to reject their offer for him. But all he did was grab your waist and pull you to his side, lowering his gun over to his shoulder and giving you the look of warning to keep your mouth shut. So you didn’t fight him. You needed to stay alive anyway, who knew what would happen to Jay, Heeseung, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jungkook if Jay failed to get you to the capital. And you didn’t want to think about it. So you clung to his side as everyone walked forward, Beomgyu and Taehyun standing at yours and Jay’s side as Kai stayed behind you, and Soobin and Yeonjun leading the way. 

“Where are your three stooges at?” Yeonjun asked, barely turning his head around to smile at Jay, “Not used to seeing you as a lone wolf.” 

You tuned out their conversation, keeping your eyes locked off into the distance, biting your lip to keep from talking. You don't know how Jay knew these five or why they obviously seem to be on bad terms, the last thing you needed to do was open your mouth and make it all worse. 

Huening Kai kept eyeing you and Jay, looking for anything possible to tell him more about what was actually going on with the two of you. Jay isn’t ever by himself without the other three. And Jay isn’t the type of person to smuggle a human, drugs and weapons were more his and his friend's forte, so why did he have you attached to him as if they were going to rip you away from him? 

“Ahhh,” Kai giggled, there’s feelings involved. He kept his eyes wandering, barely glancing over to your arm and back up to your shoulder before tracing them quickly back down, seeing the bandage peeking out from your long sleeve, “Haha! Holy shit guys! She’s been bit.” 

Just as quick as the five of them turned to face the two of you, pointing their weapons, Jay was pulling you to his chest and snapping your pistol from its holster at your hip and pointing it straight ahead at Soobin and Yeonjun. 

“Holy shit is right, man,” Yeonjun laughed, “No fucking wonder you’re out here alone, Jay. Going to the capital, my ass.” 

Fucking Huening Kai.

The grip on your waist tightened, Jay snarling at each of them, “It’s not what you think it is.” 

“Oh? It’s not?” Soobin hissed, his friendly cute persona being replaced with his cool, hard, leader persona, “Give me a reason to not kill you both right fucking now.”

“Because she was hurt,” Jay said quickly, “We’ve been traveling for two months. We had to climb a fence and she got herself caught. That’s it.” 

You could hear how fast Jay’s heart was racing in his chest, how hard his body went the moment Kai opened his mouth. He pushed you even closer to him, leaving no room between the two of you. 

The rage Jay felt course through his body was scaring him. The thoughts he had in his head on the ways he would kill all five of them just by pointing a gun at you. It was scaring him at the things he was willing to do to protect you. Scaring him because he didn’t understand why. 

“What does the capitol want with her then?” Soobin asked, clearly not believing the story, “What’s so special?” 

Jay just shrugged, “Beats me. And nor do I care to know. All I know is I’m getting a fat paycheck for getting her there.” The hurt you felt at his words when his actions towards you right now were the opposite. You felt confused. First, he kisses you the way he did back at the factory, then turns completely cold and now he’s got you pressed to his chest, grip unrelenting as he points your gun at the threat in front of him. Maybe all he really did care about was the money. 

To Jay’s surprise, each of them lowered their weapons, “There’s the Jay I know,” Soobin teased, “Let’s just get back in the zone before the dead decide to get us to join them.” 

Everyone walked in silence the rest of the short walk to the safe zone and to your surprise, they didn’t sneak back into the zone, their military guards just…let them in? You looked up at Jay, him already answering you in a whisper without looking back at you, “This safe zone is full of smugglers and corrupted police, it’s how they survive here. The normal citizens and police don’t know how corrupt it is. They are very very sneaky. It’s one of the most dangerous zones right now.” 

You didn’t answer. Just put your eyes back in front of you as you all entered the zone. Jay pulled you closer to him again, his eyes darting to every person who looked his way, who looked your way. 

“We have one room available for you two to share,” Soobin said pointing at the small building to his left, “We will come by tomorrow to let you back out of the zone. Until then I suggest you stay inside, or at least keep her inside. There are clean clothes and some fruit in there too.” 

They still don’t trust us. 

Jay pulled you along with him, the other five watching as the two of you entered the building. 

“What are you thinking?” Soobin asked Kai, who had his arms wrapped tightly across his chest, blue hair blowing in the wind as he narrowed his eyes at the building. 

“If she wasn’t bitten, then what could be so special that Jay protected her like that? Besides the obvious attraction, he feels. But something is off. The caption doesn't want just anybody, not anyone from this side of the country at least,” Kai took his chin between two fingers and looked up at the dark sky. Picturing the way your bandage was wrapped around your wrist, there was no way you weren’t bitten. It was wrapped in a way to hide what was there, not to cover up some wounds…unless, “She is immune.” 

Jay let you bathe first, him keeping his eye pointed out the window as he popped a grape into his mouth. He didn’t trust the five boys either, not when they stood in a circle in the same exact place, clearly discussing what to do about the two of them, “If you keep staring at them you’ll just give them more reasons to not trust us, we just need to get through the night.” 

Jay looks over at you, seeing the way you dangle your arms over the bathtub, resting your chin on white porcelain, “Neither I nor them trust each other and you’re worth a shit ton of money, I’ll keep him eye on them if I want to,” without another word, he looks back out the window. You sigh and resume your bath then get out and quickly change, letting Jay now soak in the tub. 

You fell asleep faster than you thought and it pissed Jay off. How could you sleep so easily? But the more he looked at your sleeping body, eyes darting to your bite mark, the wound no longer continued to bleed or be filled with pus but now red and irritated. The longer he looked, the more he relaxed, realizing you’ve been through enough shit. You deserved some actual rest. 

Jay couldn’t afford to rest though. He left the room, breaking the doorknob once the door was shut, securing a way no one else could get in to hurt you. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he left the building in search of food and other materials to replenish what you and he had used over the last two months. 

He hated being here. Jay spent enough time over the last couple of years smuggling shit in and out of this place. It’s the main reason why Soobin and his dogs don’t like him and his friends. One major rule of smuggling in this world is to stay out of other smugglers' zones. But hey, if the money was good, Jay and his team did it. 

Jay was barely able to walk away from a stall selling canned food when he ran into Yeonjun, “Was wondering if I’d run into you,” he smiled, folding his hands behind his back, “Should have known you’d be out restocking your supplies.” 

Jay just rolls his eyes, “What do you want? I have sleep to catch.” 

“Hmm,” Yeonjun hummed, following behind Jay, “I want to ask you again about your girl.” 

“She’s not my girl,” Jay hissed, “Just someone I am taking to—“

“I know she’s immune.” 

Jay turned on his heels quickly, pointing a finger into Yeonjun’s face, “Shut the fuck up! Keep your fucking mouth shut!” 

But he only smirked, “So our suspensions are true?” 

“No!” Jay scoffed, dropping his hand, “You can’t just throw around the word immune without it causing chaos, you know this, you dumbass.” 

Yeonjun shrugs, “You’re willing to turn your girlfriend into the capital so easily? When she has a gift everyone would kill to have? She isn’t safe out there.” 

Jay narrowed his eyes, trying to read Yeonjun’s face for any hint of what he was trying to pull. But then it clicked with him. Soobin is the one who usually is the head of the battle. The first to step up and say or do anything. Yeonjun is also attached to Soobin as his second. But the fact Yeonjun is here right now…without Soobin…Jay’s heart nearly stopped. He slowly backed away. They were planning something and Yeonjun was being used as a distraction. 

“You know the capital will kill her, Jay!” he chuckles, “They will kill her the moment you hand her over. Your precious love will die.” 

Jay stopped listening as he made a full sprint back to the room. 

—

Jay didn’t continue breathing until he stepped foot into the room, seeing you sleeping peacefully. 

He took a couple of deep breathes, placing a hand on the wall to steady himself, giving him only a few seconds of deep breathing before pushing off the wall and packing up both backpacks, “YN,” he calls to you, his heart rate increasing with each second longer you stayed here, “YN!!” 

You jolted awake, slowly lifting yourself from the bed and seeing Jay rushing around the room in a hurry, “What?” you barely were able to get the words out without a yawn creeping out afterward. 

“We need to go. Like now.” 

You didn’t like the desperation in his voice, and you sure didn’t like the way he was rushing around to gather all your things into the backpacks. Something was wrong and it made your stomach drop, “Why? What happened?” 

Jay told you about the encounter with Yeonjun, and how he thinks they are planning something, explaining how Soobin and his team work. You didn’t understand it. 

“How are you so sure they are even planning anything?” You asked, now following him around the room as he paced to gather everything, “They let us stay here?” 

Jay stopped pacing, his hands immediately grabbing your face, “They know you’re immune. And they are smugglers, YN. I know how they think. They are going to keep you here and probably sell you to the highest bidder, the thing those people would do to you…” Jay didn’t even want to think about what those nasty people would do. The worst thing is to use you as experiments to find a cure on their own without the capital which will result in killing you, or them using you as their own plaything, forcing you to produce offspring in hopes of more people being born with the immunity. Either way, he wasn’t going to let it happen. 

He couldn’t let them take you from him. Couldn’t let them harm you in any way. He was going crazy just thinking about it all. He stepped away from you, “Get your boots on and quickly.” 

You did as you were told, slipping your feet into the boots and taking your backpack from him as he walked to the door, peeking out the windows before waving you to follow him. Jay already secured an escape route. He’s slipped in and out of this zone enough times to know every escape route possible. 

He kept you tugged tightly to him as you both left the building, quickly slipping into the alleyway. To say you were scared was an understatement. You still didn’t fully understand what was going on, mostly on Jay’s side. He seemed so ready to hand you over for the money, what difference would it make if he just left you here? Why go through the trouble of getting you out of this place? 

“Jay,” you called for him, but he ignored you. Just gripping your arm tighter as he led you in and out and around different buildings and alleyways. Stopping anytime someone walked by or got too close, Jay held his breath every single time as if it would help hide the two of you. But before he knew it, you both were approaching the fence, seeing the hole he and his team has used to get in and out was not patched up, “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath. 

Jay ran his hands through his hair, then grabbed your arm again, pulling you down the fence line. Eyes searching for an opening. Every safe zone had one. A little door in the fence that would lead out in case of evacuation. You’d need a military card to get access for it to open, but Jay had ways to break it. 

You both finally reached that door, the keycard scanner blinking green, showing it was working. Jay dropped the backpack to the ground, pulling out some tools. 

“What are you doing??” You whispered, eyes darting to her surrounding area, “What if you set off an alarm like last time?” 

Jay chuckled, “I’ve done this before, the factory was rigged from the start.” It was the first time even talking about the factory. Jay used the screwdriver's flat end to pry open the lid, looking at the series of wires, “Time to get to work.” You watched as he cut wires and replaced them, the little flashing green light turning red, then flashing back to green and the door unlocked and slowly opened, “Magic.” 

You rolled your eyes, “We don’t have time for this.” 

Jay threw the tools back into the backpack, quickly standing up and reaching for your hand. The two of you were barely three steps out of the zone when five figures with tickets pointing directly at you two appeared. Jay flung you behind him, aiming his shotgun at Soobin. 

“Should have known you’d try to escape,” the blonde boy hissed, “Couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?” 

“I’m NOT letting you keep her here,” Jay barked back. 

Taehyun chuckled, “Why does it matter to you what we would do with her here? Don’t you only care about the money she’s worth?” 

“I don’t see four million dollars in your hands, Kang,” Jay snapped, eyes burning holes into Taehyun’s chest but kept his gun aimed at Soobin, “And since I don’t see the fucking money, we’re leaving.” 

“Just think what the capital would do,” Yeonjun said, “Far worse than her staying safe here.” 

Jay gritted his teeth, “You wouldn’t keep her safe. You’d use her!” 

The smile on Soobin’s face told him everything he needed to know. They were going to use you in any way possible and you weren’t going to survive it and if you did, you wouldn’t be the same. 

The five of them took one step closer and Jay felt like he was about to combust, “Take one more fucking step and I’ll shoot!” He yelled, darting the barrel at each of them. 

“It’s five against one,” Kai teased, taking another few steps forward, “What the fuck are you going—“ 

One moment Kai was standing, the next he was on the ground, blood pooling from his thigh. His hands were quickly covered in his own blood as he put pressure on the wound, his blue hair sticking to his face from the sweat he had just broken out in. Teeth gritting and eyes that could kill were staring right back at Jay. 

Kai’s four friends rushed to him, each of them now looking at Jay as well, “I fucking told you to not take another step. I’ll kill you all if you so much as lay a finger or come near her!!” 

Soobin’s smile was gone and replaced with pure rage, “Get the fuck out of my safe zone before I blow your brains out and feed you to the zombies out there.” 

You locked your jaw, gripping the barrel of Jay’s gun and forcing him to drop it, “Let’s fucking go!!” You snapped at him, fingers gripping the sleeve of his shirt, and pulling him away. 

“You’re going to regret your choices, Jongseong Park!” Huening Kai yelled, his voice echoing into the woods, “ROT IN FUCKING HELL!!” 

Jay stopped listening as he was now the one gripping your waist and leading you into the dark dangerous woods, the sounds of Kai’s screams and yelps becoming a distant noise. 

Once Jay felt like it was safer, he removed his hand from your waist, and quickly walked ahead of you, “What the fuck was that, Jay?” You asked harshly, moving your legs to keep up at his pace. 

“I told them to not take another step, and he did. He’ll suffer for his actions.” Jay didn’t know what you wanted to tell you, he did what he had to to get you out of there and he didn’t care if you agreed or not. 

“You could have killed him!!” Jay just shrugs and keeps on walking. You clenched your fists at your side, digging your fingers into the fabric of your jeans. 

“This is life as a smuggler,” Jay finally said after a few moments of silence, “You sometimes have to pull the trigger to survive.”

“We could have just run out!!” 

“No,” he hissed, “They wouldn’t have allowed that! I did what I had to!” 

“And it was wrong!” 

Jay stopped to turn and face you, the clear desperation and anger still on his face, “I don’t regret doing what needed to be done in order to protect you. I wasn’t going to let those assholes hurt you.” 

You tried to read his face and look for any signs of the truth. There was more to this than him just protecting you for the money. You were filled with more confusion as you looked at him, trying to read his cold eyes, but still found nothing. Jay quickly turned away from you and continued walking. You tried multiple more times to get him to explain his actions, but he kept ignoring you. And you eventually gave up for the night. 

—

To say over the next few days you’ve wanted nothing more than to bash Jay’s skull into the next tree you see would be an understatement. His attitude towards you got worse. He started to ignore you even more and only spoke to you to ask and make sure you were okay, if you were hungry, tired, or needed any rest. Outside of that? It’s like you didn’t exist. 

You tried asking a few times about his actions at the previous safe zone, to see what even prompted him to make such a choice when you could have just run out. The gate was already open, so shooting Kai wasn’t needed to survive. There could have been another way. 

Jay tried to fight off every feeling he felt. Specifically towards you and the other five back at the zone. Half of him wanted to go back and kill them all for so much thinking about using you, the other half of him wished he didn’t have to pull that trigger. He struggled to understand his feelings for you, the protectiveness he felt, the need to hold you close to him and keep you in his eyesight the entire time, the want to kiss you again, to feel your warmth. Everything mixed so deeply within him and confused him. Where did the lines blur? And where did they not? Is he wanting to protect you for that fat paycheck he’ll receive? Or is it because he actually wants to protect you? Does he want to keep you close because he wants to close or because to make sure you’re safe and unharmed once you’re handed off to the capital? Does he want to kiss you again because he hasn’t felt that sort of affection in a while, or because he actually wants to? He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Or maybe he just wanted to shove the feelings away. 

Jay was still deep in thought when something wet landed on his face. He stopped walking to glance up at the sky. You also looked up, a sigh leaving his lips, “Looks like it’s fixing to downpour.” 

“We need to get somewhere safe,” you said, looking back at the man in front of you, still trying to read his face. 

Jay just nods, then looks at the surrounding area, “There should be a cave around here. Let's go.” 

You wanted to ask him how he just knows that there is a cave nearby. It makes you question how many smuggling missions he’s gone on. How many times he risked his life out there time and time again? From his attitude and cold demeanor, it’s obvious he’s done this more times than he probably wanted to even count. 

You followed him nonetheless, followed alongside a mountain that eventually a tall chain-linked fence got attached to, leading to a gate that was already opened with vines and grass growing around it. 

“Was this a safe zone?” you asked, “it looks abandoned.” 

“Because it is,” Jay sighs, “It was a smaller one, could only fit a couple hundred. It’s a shame what happened to it.” 

You followed him past the gate and slowly to the hole in the mountain where a massive steel door stood at the entrance of the cave, “What happened?” 

There was a panel on the wall beside the door, showing that it needed a code for the door to open. You were about to lose hope, thinking you’d have to find another place, but Jay reached his hand to the panel, pressing 0428, and the door slowly opened. 

“How do you know the code?” 

“Used to make smuggling runs here when it was still an active zone,” he doesn’t so much even glance at you as he walks inside, “The people who aren’t a part of zones, who are against the government and zones altogether, a band of them came through here, tearing the place apart and left no survivors.” 

Your eyes dropped to the cave floor, “How could humans do such a thing.”

Jay sighs, “I wish I knew. I’m not any better, being a smuggler and doing my fair share of…anyways, what happened to these people, to this zone, it haunted other smaller zones, forcing them to leave and join the bigger ones or flee to the capital.” 

You watched as the cave floor turned from rough stone to polished stone, your eyes lifting back up to take in your sleeping stop for the night. Jay hovered to the right of the wall, finding the power box and flipping the switch. Small lanterns covered the walls and ceiling. Multiple areas of the cave held beds lined to the wall along with showers, tubs, toilets, and kitchen appliances. There were a few areas that were for the children, toys lying on the floor and tables, and some of the beds. 

Children were murdered here. 

You grasped your hand over your chest, feeling how your heart clenched at the sight. 

Jay turns back to look at you, his cold eyes softening, “It was terrible. Heeseung and I got here just in time to see the bandits leave. It took everything for us not to fight them ourselves,” the look in your eyes told him enough how badly this place affected you already.

You took more glances around, “Why does it not look like—“

“Like it was torn apart?” Jay finished for you, dropping his backpack to the floor in front of one of the beds lined to the wall and setting his weapons onto the bed, “Because my team came here and cleaned it up, hoping someday it can be lived in again. We come back every so often to make sure everything is fine and clean.” 

You watched as he sat on the bed, dropping his face into his palms. The rain finally touched down and thunder sounded, the lanterns flickering softly. Jay sighs and quickly stands back up, digging through a drawer to light a couple of candles in case the power does indeed go out. You continued to watch his every move. How can this person be so confusing? So cold and so selfless and full of love all at the same time. You could see it in his eyes how it hurt talking about what happened here. Jay was barely able to sit back down on the bed before you started talking. 

“Why did you shoot Kai?” 

Jay rolled his eyes, “Can you shut up about it? There’s that cold again. 

You shook your head, “No! I need to understand!” 

“What is there to understand, YN? I warned them what would happen if they took a step closer, and look what happened.” Pure rage filled his eyes once again, his jaw locking tight. 

“There had to have been another way! We could have just left!” You took a deep breath, clenching your fists, “You could have killed them!” 

Jay scoffed with a smirk, shaking his head, “I could have, should have.” 

Now you were pissed off, “Why? Huh? Explain that to me. I am NOT worth killing over!” 

Jay shot to his feet, pointing a finger at you, “Don’t you fucking say that! You’re worth—“

“Four million dollars, I fucking get it, Jay. All I am worth is that four million,” he swallowed, not saying a word and he flexed his fists at his sides. It was your turn to scoff and smirk, “Not worth anything more than just to get your damned money.” 

“STOP talking like that,” he snapped. 

“Why should I?” You scoff again, “You’ve done nothing—NOTHING—but tell me and everyone else how much money I am worth. All you fucking care about is the mon—“ 

Jay couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t think straight as his feet dashed to you, hands cupping your face and lips attaching to yours, slamming his body into yours with such force that it startled you. His lips moved quickly against yours, brows furrowing and eyes closed tightly as he was trying his damndest to slow his heart rate, to not take out every emotion he had into kissing you, but his body failed him as he stayed connected to you, your hands slowly reaching up to touch his wrists, and it was enough to send him over the edge. 

“You’re worth so, so, so much more,” he said between kisses, his hands dropping to your waist, “I can’t hold myself back when it comes to you, I want you near me all the time. It’s taken everything in me to not jump your bones every second of every single day.” 

You leaned more into him, accepting him and his truth that he was finally spilling to you after so long. 

“I don’t give a fucking shit about that money, the capital can fucking keep it. You’re worth everything to me and I am so fucking crazy about you.” Jay slid his mouth from yours and down to your neck, leaving small bites as he trailed down to your shoulder, his hands now under your shirt and quickly lifting it up and over your head. Your hands rushed to pull his shirt from him, needing to feel him skin-to-skin. 

You barely had his shirt on the floor when his chest connected to yours and lips back on yours, “I can’t get enough of you,” he whispers, “I can’t stop feeling for you. I want you. All of you. Please give yourself to me.” 

Jay never was able to call someone his own. He’s had girlfriends and flings, yeah, but never someone that was actually his. Someone he could protect and love with every ounce he had. And it took kissing you in that factory for everything to make sense. He met you for a reason, whether that was some wack chance of fate or luck. He was meant to go through the hell he did to find you. And he wasn’t going to let you go now. 

“I’m yours,” you whispered back, “I am all yours.” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him. That you longed to feel him kiss you again, to touch you, hold you, and everything in between. He’s driven you crazy since day one, you should have known how hard you would have fallen. 

Jay deepened the kiss even more, slowly pulling you back with him until reaching one of the beds against the wall, one hand reaching back up to your neck, then the other wrapping behind your back as he swiftly turned you around and laid you on your back, “Say it again,” he asked, his fingers tracing down your shoulders, pulling the straps of your bra down then sliding his hands underneath to unclasp it and toss it off to the floor, “say it again please.” 

You swallowed, staring up into his eyes. And for the first time, you were able to finally read him. He wanted you in every way, “I’m yours.” 

He slides his hands down to your jeans, unbuttoning them and looping his fingers between the fabric of both your jeans and panties and your skin and pulling them down, “Again.” 

You bit your button lip and smirked up at him, “Should I?” 

Jay stood on his knees, slowly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, “If you want this dick, I suggest you do.” 

You watch him with lust in your eyes as he slides out of his pants and boxers, his hand wrapping around his cock as he leaned back to hover over you, pumping himself slowly, “I said again.” 

“I am yours.” 

Jay tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, hands going to your thighs and lifting them up, wrapping them around his waist and lining his cock up with your cunt. 

“You’re mine?” he breathes. 

“Yours.” 

Jay slides his hands up your body, clasping his fingers around yours tightly, pushing his hips forward until his cock is buried deep within you, “Mine, all mine,” he whispers into your ear, slowly sliding out and pushing back in. 

His lips kissed down to your neck as he picked up his pace, using your hands pressed into the mattress as his leverage to kiss your cervix with the tip of his dick, grinding into you hard. Your moans sent chills down his spine, edging him to fuck into you faster. God, you felt so good. He only dreamed what your pussy would feel like wrapped around him. It was as if your pussy was made for him, made to fit and take his cock so fucking good. His. All his. 

“Jay,” you moaned out his name, your hands now tangled in his dyed hair as one of his hands grasped your thigh, and the other on your face, “Are you mine, too?” 

“Oh, baby,” he groans into your neck, “I’ve been yours.” 

Thunder crashed outside, flickering the lights a couple of times before shutting them off completely. The candles are the only source of light. But it couldn’t have been more perfect. Yours and Jay’s moans mixed with the sound of the rain. His cock works against your sweet spot and nails dig into the plush of your thighs. He was going dizzy at the feeling of you, of the emotions you’ve made him feel. Your sex felt like heaven, you felt like heaven in this hell. 

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you,” he kisses your neck, “Won’t let anyone touch you,” kisses your jawline, “I’d kill for you,” finally kissing your lips, “You’re mine. All mine.” 

You kissed him back harder, pulling him as close as possible to you as you reached your climax, squeezing your legs tighter around his waist. 

“Fuck,” he hisses, “I’m gonna cum too,” he pumped into you faster, “call me yours, say my name, f-fuck, please say I’m yours.” 

You tightened your legs around him, kissing from his lips to his ear, “Jay, you’re mine. Mine, mine, mine.” 

He clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut as he cums, “Shit, baby,” he slowly lays on top of you gently, breathing in your scent, and wraps his arms underneath you to hold you against him. He took a couple of deep breaths and chuckled, “I am so glad you stole our drugs that day.” 

—

you lay in his arms as he traced his fingers up and down your bare back, the rain still crashing down to the earth, it being the only sound you could hear besides the beating of Jay’s heart in your ear from laying against his chest. 

Jay leaned against the wall the bed connected to, his eyes scanning the empty safe zone, trying to remember how much life was once held here. How life sits here now. Jay let his brain wonder about the different possibilities and outcomes of this zone, debating what to do and how to do it. His train of thought derailed when you shifted yourself up further, laying your head into his neck, “I thought you were asleep?” 

You gently shook your head, “I don’t want to sleep and miss out on this moment.” 

Jay chuckled and leaned his head against the top of yours, “You need some rest, I’m here and won’t leave you.” 

“That’s not what I’m worried about, I just want to savor the moment for when you go back to being cold towards me once we leave here.” 

Jay chuckles again, “Baby, I won’t. I was cold to keep the lines from blurring and my heart from feeling, but look how that turned out?” 

You giggled when he slid his hands under the blanket you two shared and squeezed the fat of your ass, “Didn’t think you ever felt anything for me besides the money, you confused the hell out of me, Jay.” 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I know, I am sorry.” You shivered, so he pulled the blanket up higher on your naked body, running his hands up and down your back to help warm you. 

Even though you’ve spent enough time with this man to know how he is, you still don’t know a lot about him besides the things he’s willingly shared with you. And since curiosity consumed you, mostly now that he’s accepted his feelings for you, maybe he’ll be more inclined to talk. Here goes nothing, “What did you do before the outbreak?” you softly asked while still treading on eggshells, “How was life for you before it?” 

Jay takes a deep inhale, holding his breath for a couple of seconds before letting it out and wrapping his arms tighter around you, “Heeseung and I were best friends before all this. Grew up together actually. His family lived across the street from mine, and being the only child, I attached myself to Heeseung fairly quickly.” 

You could see it. With how Heeseung and Jay relied on each other back in their home zone and even when they cornered you when you stole the drugs they were supposed to smuggle, the two of them stuck to each other. 

“He became like my older brother, and I am a younger one for him. When the outbreak first happened, Heeseung and I…” he took another deep breath in, and you felt how tense his body became under you. So you reached a hand up to his chest, feeling that tension loosen, “We were fucking around with a few other kids in our town, shooting hoops at the court while passing a blunt between each of us. I was actually supposed to be grounded, I smart-mouthed off to my parents. I stuck out my bedroom window and jumped into Heeseung’s car and we went off to the basketball court. We were there for roughly thirty minutes before the first bomb dropped to take out the infected.” 

You remembered the bombs very well. Remembered the sirens going off. People were going crazy to try and leave town to escape it. Only very few were lucky to get out. And since the two of you were lying here together, it was obvious you two were part of the lucky ones. 

Jay continued, “Heeseung and I never ran back home so fast, only to see our street was completely…gone. We lost our families, and if we didn’t sneak out…we wouldn’t be here right now. The only thing that kept me alive to this very day was Heeseung. If I didn’t have him…” 

“Jay,” you whispered, lifting yourself up to press the side of your face to his, “you have him, don’t think about what could have happened. You have him, and always will.” 

He took a couple of deep breaths, leaning more into you, “I know. I’m lucky to have him as a brother. Same to Jake and Sunghoon.”

“How did you meet those two?” 

Jay laughed, “We found them in an abandoned grocery store.” 

You tried to not giggle, but let it out anyway, “Are you serious?” 

“I am being so deadass,” he laughed more with you, you falling in love with how he smiles and the sound of his laugh. This Jay right here, this was his true self, “It was roughly about four months after the outbreak, so still before the safe zones. Heeseung and I were running low on food and we stumbled into a grocery store praying for food but finding Jake and Sunghoon with every food item possible shoved into the back corner of one of the offices hoarding it all for themselves.”

You just nodded, “Yeah from the small amount I know about them, that sounds about right.” 

Jay agrees, “It was a sight to see that’s for sure. It took them everything to not kill us. They were held up there for a couple of weeks before we found them. But eventually, we got them to share their food and they just…followed us out of the grocery store when we left a day later. The four of us have been together since then.” 

“Sounds like you guys found each other at the right times. They say you always find the people you need for your life at the right time regardless of the situation.” You slid back down, lying your head back on his neck, “Just like how you found me.”

Jay squeezed you tightly, “I have to agree with that statement. It’s like I am your god or something.” 

You playfully slapped his bicep, “Oh shut up! You needed me just as much as I needed you.” 

“I did, I needed you so bad and it took me meeting you to realize it.” Jay now slid down the bed, lying his head on the pillow and pulling you fully against him, resting his forehead against yours, “The four of us traveled for days to get to the safe zone we are at now. It was still newly built and just redeemed safe to let people in. Been there since, obviously, and eventually, we are where we are now. Being smugglers to keep our place and food in our bellies.” 

You looked into his eyes, seeing all the hurt and pain he’s been through and even put himself through to continue to survive. To keep breathing. Jay kept fighting to stay alive for his brothers and kept going for someday finding more of a reason to keep his heart beating. He found that reason the moment he saw you. Even though you were pointing a gun to his head. 

“You’ve fought long enough, Jay,” you whisper, brushing your lips against his, “Please take the money when you hand me over.” 

Jay scoffs, “YN—“

“No,” you interrupted, “Take it. It would help you and the others. You all don’t need to fight anymore.” 

Jay just looks back at you, wondering how the fuck could he just take that money and run. To leave you with the capital. He couldn’t do it. He won’t do it. 

“I’ll find a way to get the money and bring you back home,” it sunk your heart hearing him call his safe zone your home. You had a home again. With him, “That way we can be set and I don’t have to leave you.” 

You softly kissed him. Moving your lips so gently against his. His hands moved from your back to your waist and pressed your body against his. 

Jay was home. Jay IS home. And you’d take up his mantle of fighting to protect him now. To keep him safe. Jay deserves it more than anything. 

—

To both your and Jay’s surprise, the next three-month journey was actually really smooth. Jay didn’t know if he should be worried or relieved that everything had gone smoothly. He’s tried to keep a positive mind, to push out that smuggler mindset he’s been in for years, wanting to be a better man for you. But Jay knew even if he wanted to drop that life, he was going to have to keep up that fighter persona. That protectiveness. There’s no doubt Soobin and his dogs already ran their mouths about you being immune, spreading the word to anyone and everyone they could. Probably more than likely putting a bounty over Jay’s head because of him shooting Kai. Jay had to start thinking more clearly about his future, about yours, if he wanted to keep the both of you alive for that future. Because he can’t live without you now, and he refuses to let anyone take you from him. 

You walked ahead of him, your palms facing outwards, brushing your fingers over the flowers and grass that grew tall, loving the way it tickled your hands. To say you’re happier than before would be an understatement. Jay finally confessing his deep feelings flipped a switch within you, like you have something more to live for besides just simply surviving for your fallen friends. At the start of this journey, you refused to let the capital take you, to use you as a curse for everyone else. But after meeting and falling in love with Jay…knowing that if he somehow gets bitten one of these days…the cure that would come from you would save him. You didn’t care about saving everyone else, just as long as you could save him, that’s all that mattered. 

You glanced up ahead, and the building you assumed was the capital, came into view. It looked like an old hospital. Overgrown with vines and weeds. If you didn’t know what to look for, you would have assumed this was just like any other normal old abandoned building like the rest of the world. But Jay gave you details on what to look for. 

“Looks like we finally made it,” You said, turning to look at Jay. He looks at you, then at the building, giving a nod. You started to shake, the fear of going inside taking over. You didn’t know what to expect. How will they treat you? Would it be filled with old doctors or politicians who think they know what is best for the world? Many more questions rolled through you and it took Jay taking your hand into his for your train to derail. 

“It’s going to be okay, I won’t let them hurt you, I promise,” And Jay meant it. He will stand beside you every step of the way. Letting the capital take what was needed then getting the hell out of there and back home. 

Jay leads you to the entrance, staring up at the camera that hangs from the ceiling above the door. Jay waved a hand at the camera, “Hello?? How do you expect to get people in and out if there’s no way to fucking knock??” Glad to see Jay didn’t completely go soft on you. You giggled at his straightforwardness, squeezing his hand. 

The door sounded with a click and opened. Jay squeezed your hand back before taking a step in, leading you in behind him. The entrance was dimly lit halfway, completely colored gray with hospital signs hanging to the walls. If you didn’t know any better, you would have figured this place was a disaster waiting to happen, that no soul would be living here. But that changed once the entrance expanded out into what looked to be the lobby of the hospital. The gray turned to white and bright lights filled the room. You didn’t have time to process the new brightness when seven men appeared in front of you and Jay. Not like magic or anything, your eyes just couldn’t adjust to the bright lights in time to see them approach. 

Jay gave each of them a nod, “Nice to see you again, Shotaro, Sungchan, Wonbin, Sohee, Seunghan, Eunseok, and Anton. Been awhile.” 

You followed Jay’s head movement to each of the seven of them, taking in their names and faces before looking over at Jay confused for a solid few seconds before remembering that Jay has been to the capital a few times in his life, of course he knew the people here. 

“Pleasure to see you, as always,” Shotaro said to him, giving a nod back, “See the trip here didn’t kill you.” 

Jay just chuckles, releasing his hand from yours, “It’s going to take a lot more than some zombies to take me down.” Jay knew joking with these people would be the best way to fit in and get things done. Shotaro and his crew were different from Soobin and his. Two different types of personalities here. 

“I am assuming this is the immune one?” Sungchan asked, tilting his head. His eyes scan your body up and down then stop at the bite mark on your wrist. You ditched the wrap and long-sleeve shirts back at the cave zone, the summer weather being too hot to keep up with it. Your bite was pretty much healed, no longer infected, and just looked like a normal wound in healing. 

“I have a name,” you growled at him, “I’m not just some “immune one” or whatever.”

All seven of them smirked at you, making you cling to Jay’s arm, “Feisty one, isn’t she?” Wonbin chuckled with a raise of his brow, “You sure know how to pick’em, Jay.” 

Jay just tried to give them his best smile, “This is YN. And yes she’s the one Jungkook called and talked to Namjoon about.” 

Namjoon?

“Joon is busy in a meeting,” Sohee sighs, “He told us to apologize on his behalf and welcome you into the capital.” 

Seunghan added, “He had to step in the moment you walked up to the door. He truly wants to meet you two here.” 

“We were expecting seven more of you though…” Shotaro said with his eyes scanning the two of you, “Where are your other six?” 

Jay shrugs, “They had other important matters to take care of, so I volunteered to make the trip myself.” 

“Ahhh,” Eunseok cooed, “I sometimes forget the seven of you are the best smugglers down in the southwest.” 

“Best of the best,” Jay awkwardly smiled, wanting to get this small talk over with, “Are we going to stand and wait for Namjoon to finish his meeting or???” 

Shotaro bowed a bit, “My apologies, you two must be exhausted from your long trip,” He stood back upright, “Anton, please take our friends to their rooms.” 

“We’ll share one, thanks for the thought though,” Jay was quick to say. 

Shotaro just looked back and forth between the two of you, and then the realization hit, “Ahh! You two are a pair. That’s…interesting considering Jay was a lone wolf when it came to mating.”

Jay just rolls his eyes at the comment, “People can change. You’d know if you left the capital more.” 

Shotaro just keeps his wide smile on display, “Anton.” 

Anton nods, waving the two of you towards him, “We saved the best rooms possible for you,” Jay leads first, dragging you close behind him, “We’ve also given you badges with access to every floor and room in the building. Given as a thanks for your sacrifice, YN. You’re doing the world a massive favor by coming here.” You just nod, confident that you’re only doing this for Jay to protect him, “We have a meeting set up for you to keep with one of the doctors later this evening, to kinda help ease your mind about all this.” 

You didn’t care and stopped listening to Anton explain everything. All you cared about was getting to the room to shower off the outside smell, dirt, and grime. To get in fresh clothing and get a much-needed nap before this place runs you left and right with tests. 

Anton finally let you into the room, handing off the badges to Jay, and with a nod, he left, closing the door behind him. The room was obviously small, being that it was an old hospital room. But it was still cozy, very bedroom-like. Paintings hung on the walls along with a medium-sized dresser with a mirror atop sat in the middle with the queen-sized bed right beside it and the bathroom sitting off to the left of the room. You made your way to the dresser, opening the first drawer to see plenty of clean undergarments for all genders, the second drawer was sleepwear, and the third and fourth drawer was filled with normal everyday shirts and jeans. You pulled pieces of clothing from each drawer and rushed to the entrance of the bathroom but stopped. 

“Can I shower first?” you asked, turning to look at Jay who was sitting at the edge of the bed, holding an envelope, “Jay? What’s that?” 

He looks up at you, “It was slipped under the door after we walked in. It’s the money they owe me for bringing you here.” 

You swallowed, watching as he opened the envelope and pulled out the cash. Jay felt like his heart nearly stopped at the amount of money he held in his hands, fingers slipping through each bill to make sure it was real and the actual amount they said they would give. And sure enough, it was. 

Jay looked at the cash and slowly put it back in the envelope. You could see the gears turning, “Don’t you even dare think about not taking it.” 

He looks at you, was he that obvious? “YN, baby, I can’t take it.” 

You quickly rushed to him, grabbing the envelope and shoving it deep into his backpack, “You came all this way for this, don’t back out of it now.” 

Jay stood to his feet and pulled you to him, “I don’t care about the money! I’ve told you before that you’re worth so much more than money.” 

You cupped his face, “You and the six back at home need this money, think about the life you can give them once we go back. Please don’t give it up.” Jay knew you were right. He made this trip in the first place all for his brothers and the money that would help give them a better life. So he nods, giving you a soft smile and picking you up into his arms, carrying you to the bathroom. 

“We’re both stinky, let’s wash off, ya?” He said, placing kisses all over your face and kicking the bathroom door shut. 

—

The rest of your day was filled with following around one of the seven boys to multiple different stops with Jay close on your heels. The first stop was the cafeteria for lunch, eating the best chicken sandwich you think you ever had. The second stop was to one of the labs for some doctors to draw your blood and give you some juice and five minutes of sitting before sending you on the way. The third stop was the meeting with the doctor who explained the procedure of the blood being drawn from the first stop and how taking from the bone marrow during the procedure and then talking about somehow mixing other things to create the cure? You were no scientist nor a doctor and you couldn’t remember how they find cures in all the horror and survival movies you’ve seen in your life to even get close to knowing how it would work. Jay looked just as confused as you did. At least you all were on the same page. Somewhat. The fourth stop was back at the room, where you and Jay cuddled and took a good hour nap before Sungchan knocked on the door saying it was time for dinner. 

You two ate with the seven boys, them explaining how Namjoon was once again tied up and couldn’t make it to the meal to greet us. Jay just waved it off. He didn’t care about any more meetings, he just wanted to eat and go back to the room. The day was tiring, the whole trip was tiring. Tomorrow would more than likely be another busy day and all you wanted to do was change into your pajamas and hit the sack. The seven of the boys talked a lot, made a lot of jokes, and continuously teased Jay for being in a relationship as if it was such a hard thing for their minds to process. You tried to laugh at everything, to understand the jokes. You weren’t sure if it was the nerves or your exhaustion making it hard to play along. Thankfully dinner finally ended and you found yourself back in the comfort of your temporary room. 

“There’s only silk lace gowns in here?” You sigh, digging through the whole drawer to find a pair of pajama pants and a shirt, “Why are there ONLY silk lace gowns???” 

Jay peeked over your shoulder, his hands reaching around you to pull an emerald green gown out of the drawer, “I mean this is the capital, everything here is probably fancy in some form.” 

You take the gown from his hands with a sigh, “It’ll have to do I suppose.” Jay just gives you a small smile and nods as he backs away and sits on the bed, untying the laces to his boots. 

You glanced back at the silk gown on your hands and up to Jay. Maybe you were reading a bit into it, but why did he choose this color? Out of all the pretty colors in that drawer, his eyes went to this one. You tried to push down the thoughts, remembering the time back at the safe zone when he said your naked body was just skin. How he didn’t have time to deal with these types of things. But he was also in a relationship with you now? The two of you never discussed what you were after sex that one night. He’s made love to you multiple times since then but still never once said what you both were. Maybe he was just bullshitting when he saw you naked the very first time, but then again he didn’t see you in that light before. Maybe again you were just overthinking it. He’s never seen you in such clothing, so maybe that’s why he chose this color, maybe he wanted to see you in it. 

You decided to stop thinking too much about it and slowly stripped out of your clothes, dropping them down to the floor with a thud, causing Jay’s eyes to lift up to you as he started on his second boot. You kept eye contact with him as you slid the straps of your bra down your shoulders and unclasped the back, holding the bra in place on your breast as you pulled your arms through the loops. Jay’s eyes left yours and went to your breasts, watching as you dropped the bra to the floor. His body tensed. You had him wrapped around your finger. His eyes shot back up to yours, his face still so calm and collected. You finally pulled the laced emerald silk gown over your head and onto your body, fitting strangely well to your frame and tight in the right places. 

You slowly crawled into the bed and laid down, his body shifted to face you as you got comfortable on the bed. Jay was losing his mind and was fighting his demons to keep from jumping you and ripping that pretty little gown off your body. His mind wanders to all the things he wants to do, where he wants his hands, and where he wants his mouth. He stood from the bed, sliding his feet out of his boots, and pulling his shirt from his body. You bit your lip at the sight of his torso, how his tan muscular skin moved as he reached for the button on his jeans, the tint in his pants was enough to tell you that you did affect him. That this color was chosen on purpose. 

Jay dropped the jeans to the floor then crawled onto the bed and hovered over you, “You look way too damn good in green, you should wear it more often, baby,” all you could do was nod and rub your thighs together. Jay glanced down at your legs, a smirk falling to his lips, “Want me so bad you can’t form a sentence?” 

“Jay,” you whispered, “Please.” 

He bent down and kissed you, his right hand already touching the ends of the gown, “You’re so sexy,” he breathed between kisses, “You know that?” You didn’t have time to respond as his lips left yours to trail down your neck and then to your shoulder, biting softly at your skin, loving the way you squirmed underneath him. His hand was now under the gown, slowly riding up your thigh. His moved down lower, leaving opened-mouth kisses down to your collarbone, between your breasts, and down your stomach, both his hands were now under the gown and sliding up and up, bunching the gown at your waist, “I’m craving dessert, and you look just like something I want to eat.” 

You gasp at his words, feeling your slick pool in your panties. Jay slid down to your heat, spreading your legs apart, clicking his tongue at the wet spot, “Already so wet for me? I haven’t even touched you yet.” It was driving him crazy seeing you already soaked for him. How much more perfect could you get?? He rubs his knuckle against your folds, pushing the lips apart as he digs his knuckle further in, “So wet for me, baby,” he coos, licking at his bottom lip. Jay didn’t think he could wait much longer, he needed your taste in his mouth. To devour you. To make you cum against his tongue. God, it’s all he wanted at this moment. Jay looped his fingers at the hems of your panties and you lifted your hips up as he slid them down and threw them to the floor to be completely forgotten about. 

Jay lifted your legs onto his shoulders as he settled back between your legs, using his index and ring fingers to spread your cunts lips, “fuccckk,” he groaned, loving how some of your slick was slowly dripping out of your cunt. Your hands flew to his hair when you felt his tongue press flat to your heat, licking up and stopping at your clit and wrapping his lips and tongue around the sensitive bud. 

“Shit, Jay!” you moaned, gripping his hair tight between your fingers. His hum of pleasure vibrated against you, making your toes curl into the sheets. With his other hand, he slid two fingers into your hole, pumping in and out of you slowly. Jay could get lost in your pussy, could stay here for hours if he didn’t need oxygen to continue breathing, licking up every ounce of your juices you could offer to him. You clenched around his fingers and gripped his hair even tighter, letting out soft moans at the feeling of him on your clit and cunt. 

“Be louder, baby, I want to hear you,” he breathes, taking a few deep breaths in before attaching himself back to your clit, sucking on it softly and pushing his fingers in and out faster, keeping your lips spread with his other fingers. You were getting dizzy at the sensation, brain clouding and his fingers and lips being the only thing you could focus on as you chanted out his name over and over. It was magic to his ears, truly. The best sound he’s ever heard next to your normal voice. 

He detached from your clit and replaced his fingers in your hole with his tongue, reaching so far into you that his nose was now rubbing your clit along with his middle finger. The knot of your climax was about to snap. You tried to hold on for as long as you could, waiting to savor this feeling but also wanting the sweet release it would give you. Jay wasn’t giving you much of a choice, not with how he worked his tongue in your cunt and his finger on your clit. His whole job here was making you cum on his tongue, and he wasn’t going to stop until he got what he desired. So you gave in, letting the knot snap in two and your body shuddered. Jay moaned against your cunt, licking up every last drop of your cum with his tongue, “Fuck you taste so good.” 

He left soft kisses on your heat and both your inner thighs before hovering back over you completely, “You’re such a good girl for me, my sweet, continue being good and take this cock, ya?” you quickly nodded, reaching for his boxers to slide them off him. He chuckled as he helped you remove the last bit of his clothing, “impatient are we?” 

“Jay, just please fuck me already, I need you.” 

He clicks his tongue, smirking at you, “Gotta give the lady what she wants, right?” 

Not another word was said as he slides into you, fucking you already so hard and fast it made your overstimulation way worse. But it was so—so—good. He kisses you, forcing his tongue down your throat, getting a taste of yourself as you sucked on his tongue, wrapping your muscle around him in a perfect dance. Jay wrapped your legs around him and pinned your hands above your head, squeezing them tightly as he continued to rock his hips against yours, kissing down from your lips to your ear, “You’re stuck with me, understand?” he breathes, his breath sending chills down your body, “I love you, YN. I am so in love with you.” 

Tears filled your eyes as you wrapped your legs and released your hands from his and wrapped your arms tightly around him, squeezing him so tight against your body, wanting to feel every inch of him against you, “I love you too. Oh god, I love you too.” 

Jay moved faster, “Say it again, tell me you love me again.” 

You did, you chanted how much you loved him over and over until he was spilling his seed deep within you. So out of breath but continued to kiss all over your face and slowly rock his hips against yours to chase out his high. If this is what it felt like to be in love with Jay and be loved by him, you didn’t need any other emotion ever again. 

—

Jay rolled over, stretching his arm out on your side of the bed, surprise took him when he didn’t feel you there, running his hand up and down the spot you should be in. He fluttered his eyes open, the early morning sunlight shining against the paintings on the wall and the gray wallpaper. Jay lifted himself on his forearms and elbows, the cool air sending chills down his bare back as the blanket slid down to his waist. He looked at the spot you slept in, tracing his hand back over it and realizing the sheets were cold. You’ve been gone for a while. 

“YN?” Jay calls, thinking maybe you were in the bathroom, seeing that the door was closed, “Baby?” 

No answer. Jay lets out an uneasy sigh, clearly not liking the silence of the room. He sits up and pushes himself to the edge of the bed, pulling his boxers off from the floor and stepping into them, and snapping them at his hips, “Baby?” He tried calling again, walking to the bathroom door and carefully knocking, “YN, this isn’t funny.” Jay quickly opened the door, seeing the bathroom was empty. 

Panic started to settle in. 

Jay tried to keep calm, hoping you were just at the other labs the doctors and other officials of the capital have said. But all the hope was gone when Jay turned around, barely catching his naked top half in the mirror, seeing the red and irritated skin at the edge of his back right under the shoulder, the small puncture wound still clear and visible. He was drugged. And you were taken. 

Jay quickly rushed back into the room, pulling his clothes onto his body and picking up his backpack from the floor, noticing yours was still sitting in the same spot. Jay felt the panic deep in his core. You wouldn’t have just walked out of the room without telling him or bringing him with you. Jay’s suspicions only got confirmed after seeing the weapons from your and his backpack was missing. 

“Shit,” he mumbles, looking in the corner to see his shotgun was also missing from where he placed it against the wall. Jay dumped out everything from the backpacks and drawers, trying to find any weapon possible that they might have overlooked. But everything was gone. The only thing he found was the snacks and other foods and water the two of you had been carrying the whole trip and the white envelope with the money in it. Jay wanted to tear the money into pieces, to burn this whole place down from them taking you from him. He was going crazy and needed to find you, and fast. He pulled everything back into the backpack, combining your stuff with his. Jay took one last look at the envelope and then shoved it into the backpack. 

It was one problem after the other when he tried to walk out of the room to find the door was locked from the outside, “FUCK!” he screamed, taking multiple steps back and rushing to the door, connecting his shoulder to the wood. Step back, ram the door, step back, ram the door. repeat. repeat. repeat. Jay shook out his hands and arms, giving it one last final shove and the door pushed open, the locks and doorknobs falling to the floor. 

The hallway was dark except for the sunlight peeking through the windows. Not a damn soul was around. It was so silent you could probably hear the tectonic plates shifting within the earth. Jay treaded lightly, locking his jaw and clenching his fists as he slowly walked down the hall. This hospital was so full of life just yesterday, and now it’s like everyone is gone. This place once again looked abandoned before the capital officials took over. Jay figured it was before everyone knew the minute he woke up and saw you gone, all hell would break loose. Jay should have known. Should have listened to everyone who told them what would happen once he got you here. They were going to kill you. And he needed to stop it. 

First, he needed his weapons back. Following the signs on the walls leading him to the armory. There were two guards on watch when he reached it, “Fucking typical,” he whispered to himself, “All for little ole me?” Jay knew Namjoon was more than likely on high alert, knowing what moves Jay would be making and how he’d make them. Jay and his team aren’t the best smugglers around for nothing. He crouches down, slowly inching himself to the guards, assessing them before making another move. They both had knives and pistols attached to their hips with rifles in hand. Jay didn’t have a lot of time to come up with a solid plan and acted quickly. All the years of surviving had led to this. All the years of killing before getting killed. Learning how to be sneaky and how to lie through his teeth as he stole and picked pocketed his enemies. The person he had to become because of this apocalypse. All led him here. Once Jay was close enough, he quickly stood and broke out into a sprint. The first guard didn’t know what was happening by the time Jay reached him. His hands wrapped around his head and twisted, his body going limp at the crack of his neck. Jay worked fast before the guard's body hit the floor, stealing his knife and shoving it into the other guard's side between his ribs. 

“Now you will give me the information I seek out, got it?” he hisses, “Or you will end up like your friend over there, ya?” 

The guard trembled in Jay’s hands, his eyes darting to his now-dead friend on the cold hospital floor, “What do you want?” he tried to snap back, but it was not having any effect on Jay whatsoever. 

“Where is she?” Jay growled against the man’s ear, “Where. Is. YN?” Silence. Jay pushed the knife in further, the guard gritting his teeth to not scream at the pain, “Where the fuck is my girlfriend?!” Jay was yelling now, no longer playing these games. 

“Second floor, last room on the right side,” the man grunted out, “But it’s too fucking late,” Jay’s heart stopped, “They already began the procedure before sunlight even came, busted in right after you two slept,” you’ve been gone a lot longer than he thought. His panic sank further, “They took from her blood until she passed out and drugged her to stay asleep,” the guard chuckled, “She was a walking cure factory.” 

Jay shoved the knife deeper, “Is she alive?” The man groans in pain, “I SAID IS SHE STILL ALIVE!?” 

“YES!” he hissed, “But not for long. Her blood was only doing so much. They are going to go for her bone marrow now. Going to use every last drop she can give until she’s no longer breathing.” 

The man started to chuckle, but those chuckles changed into gurgles and he gasped for air before tipping over to the floor. Jay’s hands were trembling as he looked down at them, seeing the dark red tint staining his skin and the pool of it now covering the floor where Jay shoved the knife into the side of his neck. Jay swallowed and released a few deep breaths, recollecting himself and noticing his clothes now stained red. Jay sized up the first guard, thank god he looked to be about the same size as him. 

Jay was quick at changing into the guard's uniform, stealing his pistol, knife, rifle, and keycards. Always take the keycards, you never know when you’ll need them. He rushes into the armory, finding your pistol, his shotgun, and both your knives, shoving the smaller items into the backpack, and sliding his shotgun over his shoulder. Before Jay realized, he was stepping over the two dead guards and was up the stairs, making his way to the second floor. His legs shook all the way down into his boots. Trying to push out the images of the two lives he just ended. Jay has killed before during smuggling runs, but it never will get easier or something he’d get used to. This world created all this chaos and turned everyone into monsters. No one had a spot in heaven. Hell was the only final destination. 

The jitters left once both feet touched the second floor, and the rifle pointed upwards. The only thing on his mind now was you and praying he wasn’t too late. The floor was silent until he reached the corner of the building, where four guards were stationed outside the room. This was it. You were just behind those doors, hopefully still breathing. Jay didn’t want to think about what would happen if he went in there and saw you dead. The things he’d do…

You barely blinked in and out of consciousness, the bright lights shining on you from the ceiling were blinding, only being able to see white and the blue of the two doctors' lab coats. They talked between each other, not being able to make out any of the words they spoke. Your body hurts. Your head spun. Were you fixing to die? Where was Jay? Why did you feel so cold? Why did they take you from him the way they did? So many questions piled up in your brain. Jay is the main source of the questions. The main one was that he was safe. That he takes the money and runs so far away from here. That you died for this fucking cure in hopes if anything happened to him he wouldn’t turn into the undead outside. He could survive and have a better life than before. Your thought process was interrupted when both doctors looked down at you and asked a question. You didn’t know if you answered them or not, or couldn’t remember if you did. There was a poke on your wrist, and everything went fuzzy and your eyes closed. 

“She’s asleep again,” one said, setting the syringe down on the table behind him and checking your vital signs on the monitor, “Vitals are normal and steady, we can—“ the doctor stopped speaking, whipping his head to the entrance of the room. 

The other doctor looked at the one across from him, then turned to look at the door, then back to him, “What's wrong?” 

“You didn’t hear that?” he asked, his eyes widening. 

“I think you’re being paranoid, let’s continue.” 

He didn’t take his eyes off the door. Nor did he even have time to think about what happened next as Jay kicked the door open, his rifling pointing directly ahead. The doctor barely had time to see the dead bodies as the door closed behind Jay. Blood coated Jay’s face, hair, and clothes. 

“Joon said he’d be out the whole fucking day!” the doctor closer to Jay shouts, reaching for the surgical knife on the small tray table. 

“Don’t fucking move!” Jay snapped, “Back away from her!” 

The two doctors moved, their hands raised above their heads. Jay looked at you. Your skin was pale and your lips purple. Bruises covered your arms and bare legs, proof enough that you didn’t go down without a fight. You were hooked up to multiple different types of IVs. Jay tried to find any sign that you were breathing, eyes whipping to the monitor, watching as your vitals dropped. All Jay saw then was red. You were dying. He was losing you by the second. He couldn’t waste any more time. So he pulled the trigger. Their screams and voices were muffled out by the buzzing in his ears from the anger and the fear of losing you. He can’t lose you. 

He dropped the rifle to the floor once the room stopped spinning, his legs dragging him to your side, hands immediately grabbing for you. Your skin was cold to the touch. He hissed out from the pain in his chest, the pain of his heart clenching thinking you already were between the lines of life and death. Praying you weren’t. 

“Baby,” he whimpered, tears swelling his eyes, “Come on, YN, please wake up.” Jay softly shook you, placing his ear over your mouth, feeling your breath push out. It was weak. So, so very weak. “Baby don’t leave me, please.” Both his hands cupped your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks, “I can’t live without you, please.” Jay searched the room, removing himself from you to pull open all the cabinets and drawers in search of some drug to get your heart pumping normally again. Anything to get your vitals back up. He found what he needed and rushed back to you, with an empty syringe, “Forgive me, please,” he begged, pulling out the drug with the syringe needle, and filling it up, “Forgive me for bringing you here. For gambling your life like this. I am so so so sorry.” With shaky hands, he finds a vein in your wrist, “I love you,” and gently pushes it into your skin, injecting the clear liquid into your body. Jay whips his head to the monitor, watching your heart rate pick up and your vitals start to normalize. He drops the syringe and falls to his knees, running his crusted red-stained hands through his blonde hair. 

He doesn’t know how long he sat there like that. It wasn’t until you shifted on the table that he jumped back to his feet, coming back to reality and needing to get you out of there. Jay removed the IVs from your arms, bandaging them up and brushing your hair from your face, “Baby?” you fluttered your eyes, still too out of it to really open them. You knew Jay was finally with you, or that you were dreaming. Or even dead. You felt the warmth of his touch, heard his voice, and were barely able to make out his face. But he was here, nevertheless. Jay pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, “Let’s get you out of here.” Jay found your clothes and redressed you with them, tossing the hospital gown across the room. Jay took a final look at the room, seeing the vials filled with your blood and other chemicals. There were at least thirty of them. All were marked with tape that said “cure”. “Those bastards.” he hissed in his brain. But the longer he stared at them, the angrier he got. 

He carried you in his arms, rushing down to the ground level of the hospital, looking for a quick and easy way out. It was easy. A bit too easy. It was unsettling for Jay, something was off. It shouldn’t be this easy. 

“Jay?” you softly whisper, feeling his strong arms squeeze you tighter. Finally becoming more aware of the drugs slowly wearing off. 

“Shhh, It’s okay baby, I’m right here,” he whispers back, eyes darting in every direction, waiting for something to happen. And then it did. 

“Leaving without so much as a goodbye?” 

Jay stopped walking, his jaw clenching. You both were almost to the door, so close to leaving. But he turned anyway, seeing Namjoon standing there with his dimpled smile and hand folded behind his back. Shotaro, Eunseok, Sungchan, Seunghan, Wonbin, Sohee, and Anton standing directly behind him with guns pointing at Jay and you. Jay gritted his teeth, “Nice to see you finally made your appearance.” 

Namjoon chuckled, “I am a busy man, what can I say? Being the leader of this operation is very time-consuming. My apologies for not being there sooner.” Jay just stared at him, holding you tighter to his chest, “I believe you have something of mine,” Namjoon said with a sigh, stepping forward, “Give it back, please.” 

Jay barked out a laugh, “She doesn’t belong to you. Or anyone for that matter. And we’re leaving.” 

Namjoon inhaled, held his breath for a few seconds, and then released it, “You don’t understand what’s going on here, Jay.” 

“Oh like the fuck I don’t!” Jay yelled, taking a few steps back, “You’re killing her!!” 

“A sacrifice that I am willing to make,” Jay hated the straight face Joon was making. Hated how he seemed to be okay with ending your life, “She is special, Jay. She is so important to finding a cure.” 

“Then go find someone else that’s immune!” Jay snapped, “Leave her out of it!” 

Namjoon smiles, “She can save so many lives. Think about the people we can save, at her sacrifice. Think how the world can and will heal because of the sacrifice. Everything can go back to normal and she will be so worth it.” 

Jay clenched you tighter, “The world can fucking burn. She’s worth more than whatever righteousness you think you have by doing this to someone innocent.” 

“We aren’t innocent,” Joon sighs again, “This world made us into hunters, killers, and survivors. No one is innocent.” Jay didn’t want to hear it anymore. He wanted out, now. So he took more steps back, giving his glare locked on Namjoon and the seven guys behind him, “You’re making a mistake,” Joon said, following Jay, “Just give her back…” 

Jay quickly shifted your body to his side, pulling out the pistol at his hip, “Take one more step and I’ll fucking kill you.” 

“Like you did to my guards?” 

Jay said nothing, his fingers going numb from the grin he had on your belt loop to keep you pressed against him. You whimpered, the pain finally settling into you as the drugs wore off more. You clenched your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his leg, trying to hold yourself up against his hold, “I’ll kill who I have to to keep her safe.” 

Namjoon could see the desperation on Jay’s face, and just gave him another smile, “Go then. Just know you’re a wanted man the minute you walk out of those doors.” 

“Joon!” Shotaro quickly said, earning Namjoon to hold his hand up to silence him, then waving Jay to go forward. He slowly took the steps back, waiting until his back touched against the doors, and pushed it open, the pistol still pointing directly forward. Namjoon continues smiling even after Jay closes the door, leaving them in the lobby alone. Namjoon had enough samples of your blood to create copies. He also knew Jay would be heading back to his safe zone quickly. Namjoon will get you back. But this time by force. 

—

Jay slid the open window carefully, using his strength to push and pull himself up through the kitchen window, carefully climbing his way into the house. Jay barely touched his feet to the floor and turned around to see Heeseung pointing a gun in his direction, “What the fuck! It’s just me!” he whispers, “Watch where you point that thing!” 

Heeseung groans, “Why the fuck are you climbing through the window!!” He snaps, pointing to the front door, “You know how to use that right!!” 

Jay just looks at his brother up and down, being able to tell he’s lost weight since he’s been gone. The three of them all probably lost weight. Heeseung’s red hair was now completely washed out, leaving some patches of a soft pink color and some blonde streaks. Cuts and bruises covered Heeseung’s arms. He looked rough, and Jay could only imagine how the other two looked, “You’ve been struggling, haven’t you?” 

Heeseung scoffed, “Yeah, no thanks to you, Mr. Wanted man,” Jay raised a brow and Heeseung just sighed, “We know what happened at the capitol. I’m sorry for what they did to YN. We all should have gone with you.” 

Jay just shakes his head, “No. I almost lost her. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost her AND you three.” Jay didn’t want to think about what could have happened. He was back home and was safe and that’s all that matters. Jay asked Heeseung how they found out. Namjoon apparently wasted no time in radioing to Jungkook. Which Jay already figured, hint why he climbed through the window. But Jungkook was furious. The whole safe zone went on lockdown for a few months, but when Jay didn’t return directly after five months, everyone assumed he was either dead or not coming back. Jungkook limited the access Hee, Hoon, and Jake got to outside the zone. Not giving them many smuggler missions and even halving their paydown. The three of them struggled all in terms of punishing Jay. 

Heeseung sat at the table and Jay sat across from him, “Where is YN?” 

Jay took in a breath, “At the caved safe zone.” 

“That’s where you’ve been for half a year?” Heeseung didn’t mean to add the venom that came out when he snapped at Jay, “You settled down with your girlfriend and decided we weren’t worth it?” 

Jay slapped his hands on the table, “That’s NOT what happened!” Jay looks over to Sunghoon and Jake’s bed, seeing them still sleeping, and relaxed in his chair, “I knew they’d be coming for me. And I needed to protect her. Needed to give it time before leaving to come back to get you three.” 

“Get us?” Heeseung asked, folding his arms over his chest. 

Jay nods, “I already figured this place would be on a tougher lockdown. Had to find our other secret way that even JK doesn’t know about. Mostly after I saw our main hole was drilled shut,” he sat back, “I kept the money they gave me to take her there. And I stole all the vials they filled with her blood for the cure. I have plans, but I need you guys with me. Those two months in that cave were only to help YN recover better. The three months of getting her to that cave were hell on her. After what they did.” 

Heeseung nodded, only being able to imagine what you went through, “So you want us to leave and go back to the cave with you?” Jay nodded, “Why did you even leave her alone?! What if Namjoon finds her?” 

“She knows how to use a gun,” Jay quickly said, “We both know that. I showed her all the exits and safe places to run to just in case. It was a bigger risk bringing her with me than leaving her.” 

Heeseung thinned his lips in a line, staring at the table and weighing out the options, “What’s this plan?” 

“We sell her cure blood to those in need. Sell all we have and keep our refuge in the abandoned zone a secret. We use the money we have from the capital and from selling her blood to use for goods, clothing, weapons, and whatever we need. We find another zone to smuggle for, probably with Soobin and his team, and just survive.” 

“Just like we always have,” Heeseung softly says, looking at Jay, taking a few more seconds to think it over, “When are we leaving?” 

“Right now,” Sunghoon said, dropping his backpack to the table, “You guys really don’t know how to fucking whisper.” 

Jay chuckles, seeing Jake right behind him with his backpack, “About time we spread our wings from this hellhole,” Jake joked. 

You stood outside the metal door, rocking back and forth on your feet, it’s been months, they should have arrived already. You walked in circles, then went back inside just to walk in more circles around the cave. You cleaned up a bit and laid down to take a nap, just to barely close your eyes but not fully being able to sleep. 

You stood back up with a sigh and walked back outside. Standing there for what feels like forever until you see them. You couldn’t hold back the smile as Jay, Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Jake walked past the gate. You broke out into a sprint. Jay dropped his weapons and backpack to the ground, bending his knees and spreading his arms out, catching you as you jumped onto him. His arms squeeze you tightly and his lips connect to yours. 

The smile his brothers gave you two makes your heart feel warm. Jay sets you down and pulls his three friends into a big hug before snapping orders for everyone to get inside. 

These people were your home now. Your family. Jay gives you a smile as he tangles his fingers with yours, after everything you two have been through, he was worth it and more. It was just your luck that you stumbled into his world. 

—tags: @alvojake @simpjaes @itachisloverlol @minseongsworld @heeseungshim @allysluvsworld @nyxtwixx @jjaeyunist @in-somnias-world @zeeloveshee @sunpov @xiaoderrrr @butterflywonie @sundoie @cmoundiamante @jentlecoeur @reign-reads @parksunghoonsgf @sparklovespink @wannieepisod @crimnalseung @ilikekpop-c @capri-cuntz @jwnghyuns @kimsunoops @blackhairandbangs @jjongswannabebae @lazy-miya @m3chigo @en-happiness @wonniethepoo @ikeuverse @woninluv @desistay @erehkinnie30 @peachystels @jinspinkflipphone @abysofsteel @randommmmmmvheusbs @minjaexvz @soobywiththebooty @wonryllis @shinrjj @star4rin @iheartjayke @0ctav1asstuff @jakeswifey @hanjisunginc @jinspinkflipphone @jungwonsbabygirl

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[readerstories]

When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 1/?

God I'm a sucker for a soulmate au. (AO3) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)

Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn

Wordcount: 2347

Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.

Other info: About this au - Soulmates find each other through touch, which establishes a mental link that lets feelings through, and if solid and built up enough over time, simple thoughts/words can also come through. Some bonds are purely platonic, about ⅓ in total. Multiple soulmates are not unheard of, but rare, more common with platonic soulmates. 

Quickly about the reader - mercenary/gunman/thug for hire. Great shot with pretty much any gun, has two knives as backup weapons, has fought with swords before. Looks wise he has hair and is shorter than Wade and Logan, but I try to keep no specific height in mind while writing. Has a few scars scattered over his body, but nothing specific as of yet. Does not want a soulmate, thinks it just leaves people vulnerable. Lives on his own in an apartment he owns and is content with his life.

All you were, really, was hired help.

All you were supposed to do was stand around and look scary with a few other tugs in a warehouse with high shelves stacked with crates, while your employer (a generous word for the drug dealer that hired you) met with another drug dealer.

It had gone tits up the second a man wearing a red and black spandex suit and katanas on his back of all things came crashing through a window.

You had dived for cover, because there are gunshots ringing out in the milliseconds after the glass shatters. You curse, reaching for your gun, with just one single 10 bullet magazine, because your stupid employer had insisted you only needed one when you asked for more. So to have something more you had your adamantium knives strapped to each thigh, hidden enough under your black joggers.

You curse under your breath, cause this is fucking awful. You hear gunshots over and over again, people are dying, wood from shipping crates are splintering, metal is hitting the floor. 

And there’s talking. 

Fucking talking.

“Come one guys, your aim is all off! Did none of you ever train on the neighborhood cats?”

Well, more like yelling. Because even though the warehouse wasn’t empty, it still had an echo. You are used to the loud sounds, it fuels your adrenaline as you peek out from behind the crate you are using as a shield.

The man, you are just going to call him Red for now, is flipping and bouncing between crates, avoiding any big hits. A few bullets graze an arm, but he doesn’t seem to take notice as his own bullets find their marks, bodies dropping around him. He’s nimble and quick about it, taking down guys from both sides with equal gusto, and you find yourself just watching him carefully. He’s almost elegant, light on his feet, and a jab or taunt spewing out of his mouth every few bullets. 

Careful not to alert Red or anyone else about your position, you shift, gun in hand watching him saunter over to your employer, the last man standing. Well, not really, since he’s down on his knees, begging for something incoherent while fat tears and snot roll down his face. 

“Newsflash asshole, I don’t care for your tragic backstory that the writer won’t let you talk about.” Red raises his gun, one last loud bang filling the warehouse before it’s quiet once again.

“Last fucking one, my counting skills once again making me win.” Red claps his hands together, before moving his hands to his hips, looking around the warehouse. “What a fucking mess.” He shakes his head, and you see your opportunity now that he thinks it’s all over.

You move up, pulling the trigger as soon as your gun is aimed right. Red doesn’t even get to turn before six bullets go through his chest, two through his throat, and the last two finding their mark in his skull. You shouldn’t use all your bullets on one target like that, but still you do.  Red drops like a sack of potatoes, and you draw a sigh of relief, lowering your gun as you too look around the warehouse. You’re glad it’s far away from anything else, because it should take at least a few hours before the cops are alerted, and by that time you would be far away from this warehouse that is by now covered in blood, bullet casings, and dead men.

Your earlier relief turns into utter confusion as you hear shuffling, and when you turn back towards where Red’s body is, you see him shake his head where he lays crumpled on the floor, and seconds later he’s on his feet with a groan.

“Okay, good shot whoever that was.” You gape, words slipping out of your mouth without meaning to.

“What the fuck.” Red’s head snaps towards you.

“Oh, there you are.” His voice is light, almost like he’s halfway into song. “I would return the favor, but I’m fresh out of bullets so this will have to do.” He pulls out the katanas strapped to his back. You grab your knives, managing, somehow by the grace of whatever runs this universe, to bring it out just in time to block both katanas that were coming at you in tight formation.

“Oh so you weren’t just happy to see me.” Red jokes, and though you can’t see his face under the mask, you are pretty sure he is grinning. You grunt, because there is no way for your brain to form words as you parry another attack from him, retreating.

You are in no position to attack, so all you do is stop his, and try to escape, backing off. Or rather, you try to, but Red is not letting up, so all you end up doing is walking backwards through the warehouse in a vague path between boxes and shelves as he attacks. 

He manages to get a few slashes here and there to connect, but they are shallow, just enough to draw blood and sting. One on your left arm, two on your right arm, three on your left leg. You wonder if amounts are on purpose. He seems to take it all as encouragement, laughing, keeping up his quick attacks. 

You don’t know you hold out, breathing heavy, arms and hands hurting with how you are clutching and shielding with your knives like your life depends on it. 

Because it 1000% fucking does, that’s why you manage.

Red finally lets up, just enough that you can create some space between the two of you. You don’t dare to actually turn and run, certain he has no moral code of cutting down someone from behind. So you just try to slowly create even more room between the two of you as you watch for his next attack.

“Oh I am having fun!” Red tries to clap, but he just knocks the hilts of his katanas together. “Though we are just a little unevenly matched here.” He sounds like he’s breathing just a little bit harder at least, even though there are no cuts next to the bullet holes riddling his suit. He tilts his head for a moment, then bends down, and then there’s a katana sliding over the floor, bumping into your boot. You look down at it, before looking back up at him.

“Come on, pick it up.” Shifting your knives into one hand, you keep your eyes on the white eyes of his mask as you bend down and pick up the sword. 

“Oh yeah, look at me during.” You ignore his comment, feeling the weight of the katana in your hand. It’s heavy, but perfectly balanced, feeling perfect as you spin it in your hand a few times, the hilt still warm from Red’s earlier hold. 

“Hot.” Red says as he twirls his second katana, mimicking you. Once more ignoring him, you put your knives back in their sheats. “Do you have them there to distract your enemies by making them think you are going to jerk off mid-battle?” You snort.

“No, they are there so they are more hidden, and more difficult to grab.”

“If you wanted my hands in your pants all you had to do was ask, baby.” You think Red is winking at you through the mask. You roll your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Shut the fuck up.” With both of your hands on the hilt of the katana, you are ready to defend yourself from his first attack.

“Ohhh, you remind me of someone. I think the two of you would get along, he’s also a man of few words. Maybe I’ll let you live so you can meet him and fight him too, more material for my spank bank.” He definitely winks this time, then you are defending yourself from another attack from him. It pushes you backwards, again, but this time, you are able to attack back.

Though you can’t help but wonder if he’s letting you, just indulging you. Because you can feel how strong he is when you parry his strikes, you felt how strong he was when all you had was your knives.

It’s a dance, a dance he lets you participate in as you block, attack, block, attack, block. Redirecting his sword coming for your throat so it splinters wood instead of flesh.

“How did you learn to fight like this?” Wade asks, almost spinning as his energy is redirected away from your body. He is at least breathing a little heavier, and for some reason, you find yourself having a little fun, even though you think you know how this is going to end.

“I was a loser in high school. What about you?” You speak through gritted teeth, the sound of metal on metal filling the warehouse as you block another attack. You don’t even know why you ask him back, but it feels right.

“Something similar.” It’s still kinda hard to tell, but you think he grins under his mask as you attack back.

You do get a few cuts in, deep enough that it slices through his suit and the skin underneath, but it leaves you with little satisfaction as you see the cuts heal in seconds. Though at least his suit can’t fix itself, growing more tattered by the minute as new slashes and old bullet holes make a mess of it.

“So you are not just a pretty face, there’s some skills there.” You frown, anger flaring, and you are about to say something, but with a quick move that you have no opportunity to block, and that  truly demonstrates the difference between the two of you, he nicks you with just the tip of the katanta, just on the left corner of your mouth. You startle, but on instinct your tongue goes out to lick at the blood now sliding down to your skin. It just gives you more motivation to strike back, a big one that leaves behind what could almost be called a titty window on his chest, showing textured skin underneath.

“Ohhhh, freaky.” Red taunts, slicing your chest too, though your skin doesn’t heal when metal connects after slicing through your shirt like air. You curse, adrenaline causing your ears to roar, and the world to go a little fuzzy at the edges. You touch your chest, fingers coming back bloody, watching Red. Your own katana pointing towards the floor, ready, but down as you breathe heavily.

“Leaving yourself all open for me? You shouldn’t have.” Red coos, and that is what you are counting on. Letting him attack you straight on, thinking you have given up, so you can shove the katana through his skull, killing him again, and leaving you at least a few moments to high tail it out of there.

It’s what the plan is.

It does not work out like you intend it to.

It goes in a whole new direction.

Because when he comes close enough, you manage to get a hold on his shoulder, which gets you a hopefully not deadly slice over your abdomen for your efforts. You are moving quickly, seconds away from stabbing the katana through the bottom of his jaw. But then your fingers touch a bare spot on his shoulder where his suit had gotten torn, and there’s a sparkler going off in your brain, a sizzling sensation that settles in the back of your head as feelings of excitement, adrenaline, and happiness that are not your own speeds through your mind.

You gasp out loud.

You can’t help yourself.

Because you know what that was.

And there is no fucking way.

WHAT. THE. ABSOLUTE. 

FUCK.

Fucking no.

A soulmate.

You have a fucking soulmate??????

And this is how you fucking meet him????

In all of your turmoil, you have dropped the katana that was destined to go through Red’s skull. He is a few paces behind you, not immediately attacking, just watching you as you turn around in your now mostly frozen state.

“Wh-”

“Touch me.” Red blinks, owlishly even with the white eyes of his mask.

“Wow, so forward. You know, con-” 

“Shut the fuck up.” You march over to him, and in what seems to be confusion he lets you tug the glove of his hand that is not holding his katana. You interlace your fingers, the motion absurdly tender for the moment that is currently playing out. You see his eyes widen behind the mask, and you are sure his mouth opens and closes several times even hidden as it is.

“What the fuck.” The words are so soft out his mouth that you are not even sure he said them. Not that it matters, because a second later he is wrenching his hand back like you burned him. He runs past you, and you watch as he picks up his katana where you dropped it, and then keeps running after that brief slowdown, heading towards a door you hadn’t noticed while you were fighting. You startle yourself into action finally, following him, but he’s out the door before you can reach him.

On the other side there’s a hallway, and his back is quickly retreating, and all you feel is panic. You are not sure which of you it is coming from.

You try to keep up with him through multiple hallways, but he’s fast, getting out of the building before you do. It’s enough of a headstart that you only see backlights and hear the roar of a motorcycle speeding away.

You run over to where the cars you all arrived in earlier are parked, but of fucking course all tires are slashed. Not like you had any of the keys anyway, but they would have been easy enough to find in some dead man's pockets.

“Fucking MOTHERFUCKER!” You know he can’t hear you, but you hope Red feels your frustration through your bond as you punch the hood of a car, denting the metal.

(Part 2)

[jadeleechwife]

Hii!

Could I request platonic Boothill, Gallagher, Sunday and Blade with a teen reader that kind of just stuck to them because they have no parents?

(idk if I can request platonic hcs, pls lmk if not <33)

hello!! thanks for your request, I hope you like it!! <33 and it's fine really, I also enjoy platonic hcs. sorry for the bad grammar

Boothill

- When Boothill found you, you were heavily injured, bleeding. Alongside you, there were two adult figures, both lifeless.

- Boothill was in the middle of a mission that just happens to be in a place that was recently attacked by Anti-matter Legion. He couldn't help but notice your figure, somehow still alive.

- He took you with him to treat your injuries. When you woke up, you were scared, noticing to be in a place that isn't your home, your parents missing and with a cowboy cyborg man watching you.

- You asked where your parents were, but Boothill just sighed, admitting that they won't be with you so soon.

- You got the message and immediately started crying in pure despair, you were alone. Alone in this world with nobody to lend you a hand.

- Boothill could only remember his time when he lost everything, when he lost his kid and family. He felt the closest feeling to what should be an ache to his chest, and suggested that if you wanted to, you could stay with him. He knew he was being impulsive, as a teen living with him could only mean putting them in danger, but he could never let someone who desperately needs help like you to be left behind.

- You were wary about his request at first, but you didn't see any options beside accepting it, as you had nowhere to go.

- And so Boothill became your reference.

- To ensure your safety, he taught you how to handle guns, how to aim in the right spots to take your enemy down, and practiced your reflexes so you wouldn't be easily hit.

- His trainings were all strict, but it was all to keep you safe. He always tried to cheer you up with jokes and reassured you when you weren't doing well in your practices.

- Even after so many training, he still would be really protective of you, being able to beat his targets while also looking after your safety

- "Don'tcha worry kid, while you're with me, no one's gonna hurt ya." - He winked while you both were preparing yourselves to another mission.

Bonus: On your birthday, Boothill would gift you a similar hat that he is using to you, after all you were teammates now, right?

Gallagher

- Gallagher found you by pure chance while strolling the streets.

- He saw a teenager sneaking through a store and and carefully putting something in their pocket while leaving.

- He follows you and eventually corners you to ask you questions.

- You explained that you are only doing that for survival. Your parents sacrificed themselves to keep you safe from an unknown attack, making you completely alone.

- Gallagher listened carefully and couldn't help but also somehow identify himself with you in his darker times, completely lost, without a place to go.

- He told you to bare with him a bit and follow, while he has an idea.

- After a long discussion with the Bloodhound Family, they allowed Gallagher to watch over you with the condition that you don't interfere in any of their duties.

- You were truly surprised at first, as Gallagher didn't miss a beat to somehow take care of you. As much you were suspicious about second intentions, you rather try and see if that was a trap instead of refusing and choose to live only by surviving.

- He said you both will be living by an accord: he would take care of you and guarantee a better life, while you promise to never cause any sort of trouble again and also giving back the thing you stole it. For you, it was a win-win situation, so you had no complains.

- Gallagher was a mysterious man to you, full of secrets, always with a tired look. But even so, he was always ready to teach you many things and tips so you can grown up and be a wise adult.

- Also, in any case of potential danger, he was always prepared to keep you safe, hiding you in perfect spots, or keeping you behind him while he takes care of the threat. He was a silent but caring parental figure to you.

- "I didn't have much opportunities to have someone to guide me to be a better person. I don't want you to be like me, kid. I want you to be whoever you want, and better." - He said one day while sipping a drink he prepared and you also drinking a juice he made.

- You didn't get much of what he said, but you knew he was always trying to teach you only the best. He was hiding a lot and you knew it, but you believed it was for your own good.

Bonus: He teaches you the basic of mixing drinks and sometimes you both have nights where you can experiment combinations of drinks all you like! He always drinks everything you create even when the taste is questionable.

Sunday

- Sunday and the Astral Express decided to relax a bit at a nearby stop when he found you.

- You were wandering, with a hollowing look in your eyes, seeming completely lost.

- He decided to approach you, asking if you were okay and where your parents were.

- "I lost my parents. I lost everything. All it remains is.... void. Nothing. I am nothing."

- Sunday eyes widened at the realization you were just a teenager, lost and unprotected making him remind of his sister, and his deep fear of losing her and let her all alone.

- He asked you to follow him and if you wanted to stay with him and his crew for a bit. You just shrugged off, "it's not like if it matters or not", you thought.

- The Astral Express welcomed you with open arms, touched by your situation, and told you can stay as much as you like until you find somewhere you can call a home.

- Even if the others were extremely kind to you, Sunday was the one approaching you the most, including you in every situation. He couldn't help but try to make you see him as an older brother figure to make you feel safer.

- It took a while for you to open up, but as Sunday keep tolding you his and the others stories, making sure you were always comfortable, and reassuring you to take your time to adapt to the new environment, you finally felt like everything is ok.

- As you discover that Sunday would be temporarily in the Astral Express, you insisted that you want to go with him when he finally finds his promised land. Sunday was surprised, specially because you called him big brother as you stated your wish.

- With a tender smile on his face, he promised he will always be with you, and you both will be searching for this land together.

- "Don't be scared little one, the future is uncertain, but as long we stick together, we don't have to fear anything."

Bonus: Sunday writes a letter to Robin saying he wants you both to meet each other, stating that the family got bigger. He cannot wait until the moment you three can be together.

Blade

- Him and the Stellaron Hunters were traveling around following Elio's script when they found you, almost on the verge of death.

- Kafka already knew it was part of the destiny to finding you, and asked Blade to handle the situation.

- He was confused at first, not knowing much what to do, but even so he scooped your fragile body onto his arms and took you alongside to the Stellaron Hunters.

- After some weeks you finally opened your eyes and saw Blade on your side. He told you he knew you would wake up today and was checking up how you were feeling.

- You said you were lost, and still feeling pain, but you remembered a strong man carrying you to safety. "It was you, right?" you asked.

- After you were completely recovered, Kafka always made sure you were always by Blade's side, making Blade teaching you the basic of self defense, even if against his will.

- Somehow, after passing so much time with Blade, you got attached to him, seeing as some sort of big brother figure. You wanted to follow his steps, be strong and relentless as him. You admired him.

- Blade, on the other side, tried to push you away as much as possible. Firstly because he thought you were a hassle to handle, but then he realized it was because he wanted to protect you. He was a monster, and that was no lie to him, and the last thing he wanted was ending up hurting you somehow.

- He didn't know how to handle you most of the times, as he was not used to deal with teenagers, but even that, he started to enjoying your company, even if never admitting that.

- "Listen kid, one day, when my journey reaches to an end, I am going to die. Don't think that as a bad thing. It's my most deserved rest. Until that day, I am going to make you stronger. You will never be like me, but take that as a blessing. You will continue your journey on your own, but this time, you won't need to be scared. Take the obstacles of your journey as challenges to reach your highest potential. Don't waste anything, got it?" He said that to you one day.

- Even if you were scared of losing someone you cared for again, you already understood everything he said. You smiled, and promised to be the strongest warrior someone ever seen.

Bonus: On the beginning of your training, Blade was teaching you how to reach for the enemies weak spot and made you stab him on his chest. You were terrified as seeing the sword crossing his body completely, your mind going blank. Blade couldn't help but laugh as he takes off the weapon watch your reaction as his body regenerates. It was the first time you thought he was super cool.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Early Review of The Girl Bandits of the Warsaw Ghetto, to be released Fall 2025

"Elizabeth Hyman has an important story to tell. It is the story of the brave Jewish women who risked their lives attempting to defy the Nazis’ intention to leave no trace of Jewish existence. These women not only acted as couriers and spies for the resistance but also took their place besides Jewish men as active fighters, hurling grenades and firing rounds of ammunition. At the same time, they wrote about the suffering of their fellow Jews so that they would be remembered by future generations. They knew that they might be the last Jews able to tell their story, and as such were committed to documenting the ‘days of destruction and revolt.’ The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, however, although an extraordinary act, was inevitably limited in scope. Nevertheless, its significance is clear; as the ghetto fighter Mordecai Anielewicz wrote shortly before his death, ‘The dream of my life has risen to become a fact. Self-defence in the ghetto will have been a reality. Jewish armed resistance and revenge are facts. I have been a witness to the magnificent, heroic fighting of Jewish men in battle.’ Whilst the story of the heroic Jewish men who participated in the armed revolt is relatively well known, far less has been written about the young Jewish women involved: Zivia Lubetkin, Tosia Altman, Feigele Peltel, Tema Schneiderman and Dr. Adina “Inka” Blady-Schweiger. Hyman’s meticulously researched book finally brings these women out of the shadows. Drawing on the work of scholars such as Lenore Weitzman, Judith Baumel, Atina Grossman, Sonia Hedgepath, Paula Hyman, Marion Kaplan, Vera Laska, Sybil Milton, Dalia Ofer, Joan Ringelheim, Carole Rittner, Rochelle G. Saidel and Nechama Tec, Hyman carefully explains the gendered nature of Jewish life in inter-war Poland, and how it laid the foundations for the involvement of Jewish women and girls in resisting Nazism. She then draws on an extensive body of primary sources – diaries, memoirs, oral histories, testimonies from those who did and did not survive – to chart the establishment of the Warsaw ghetto and the mass deportations in its final days. The Girl Bandits of the Warsaw Ghetto is a brilliant and important addition to both the scholarly literature on the Holocaust in Poland and more specifically the role of Jewish women during the war. By writing a narrative history of this extraordinary group of women and their work in the Jewish resistance in and around Warsaw, Hyman will be able to reach an audience outside of academia. Through the words of the women themselves readers are able to glimpse something of this terrible time. Hyman uses testimony both wisely and sensitively – weaving it into the narrative so adeptly that it almost feels as if the women themselves are telling the story – and yet not overloading her readers with the often-agonizing words of the writers. It is also to her credit that Hyman resists a moralising or triumphalist narrative: she simply aims to tell the story ... it is a work which should be read widely. The analysis of the source material is extremely strong throughout: testament to Hyman’s skill as a historian and emotional literacy as a reader. I have given an extremely positive account of Hyman’s manuscript. After several decades of working in the field, I nevertheless learnt a great deal from reading it. And perhaps more importantly still, I found myself profoundly moved by the brave young women in the book. In recent years I have become concerned that I am becoming hardened by my research. That I no longer read with the attentiveness to suffering that I once did. Hyman’s ability to infuse the women she writes about with emotions and complex personalities drew me back. A gifted storyteller, she reminded me once again that the women we both study are not just figures from history but complex human beings making excruciating decisions and trying to make sense of what they were being forced to endure as best they could. This book deserves to be read widely. I frequently review manuscripts and this is one of the best I’ve read."

Zoë Waxman

Professor of Holocaust History

University of Oxford

17/09/2024

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

Any time Anakin's "obsession" with Obi-Wan shows up in the story, it's very clearly a bad thing, because Anakin's "obsession" is a bad thing, full stop, regardless of who he's aiming it at. To use Star Wars parlance, this is the attachment, this is why the Jedi forbid it and why attachments are considered bad on their own and why they're not considered the same as "love" or "relationships." So Anakin being attached to Obi-Wan INSTEAD of Padme (which doesn't have to mean they're in a romantic relationship, obviously) doesn't make that attachment suddenly a good thing simply because it isn't romantic. It would still be dangerous and it would still likely push Anakin to do bad things in the name of the attachment.

That being said, Anakin shows the MOST restraint in his relationship with Obi-Wan, despite the clear attachment he does have to him. I'm willing to believe that Palpatine likely did ENCOURAGE an attachment to Obi-Wan while at the same time also planting the seeds for doubt in the relationship, balancing those things very carefully so that he could use Obi-Wan to pull Anakin into darkness. But the very VERY few times we see Anakin successfully manage to actually hold off from making rash and reckless choices is with his relationship to Obi-Wan.

I've mentioned most of these examples before, but I'll go over them quickly again.

Chronologically, we start with Attack of the Clones where Anakin is initially inclined NOT to go to Geonosis to save Obi-Wan until Padme convinces him into it (while you could argue that this shows a lack of CARE for Obi-Wan, this isn't really supported by the dialogue and it's contrasted pretty explicitly with Anakin planning to abandon Padme earlier in order to chase after his mother).

The next one we see is in Landing at Point Rain during TCW when Obi-Wan's ship crashes and it's unclear what Obi-Wan's status is and Anakin has to make the choice to stay with his men and leave Obi-Wan to his chances rather than run ahead and abandon his men just for the CHANCE to help Obi-Wan (especially when Obi-Wan could easily be already dead, or could die/receive help from someone else before Anakin can get there, while his men will almost certainly die without him before they can reach the landing zone and that would be pretty disastrous for the mission).

The third one is, ironically enough, in the Deception arc. When Anakin and Ahsoka are first sent after "Rako Hardeen" to arrest him and they find him drunk, Anakin explicitly tells "Hardeen" that he'd kill him if it wouldn't disrespect Obi-Wan's memory to do so. You can make the argument that he's able to hold back in part because Ahsoka's standing there watching him, so he couldn't really get away with killing a drunk man who won't fight back, but he doesn't seem to be paying much attention to her and his claim out loud is that he's doing it because it's what Obi-Wan would want him to do. He does start to struggle more and more as the arc goes on and loses some of that fight with his anger, but this initial moment does show us that Anakin CAN hold back when he wants to and that Obi-Wan's influence on him is, generally, a positive one.

The reason I point these out is because we don't often see this kind of restraint with any of his other relationships. Shmi, Padme, and Ahsoka in particular have a tendency to bring out the WORST in him (note that Obi-Wan's influence will stop being as strong when it's pitted against, say, Padme or Ahsoka's lives at stake).

So I DO think that Palpatine likely was originally intending for Obi-Wan to BE the primary "obsession" for Anakin until the opportunity to throw Padme back into his life came into play. We see elements of it in the way Anakin talks about Obi-Wan through AOTC, telling Padme that Obi-Wan is as wise as Yoda and as powerful as Mace, and telling Obi-Wan himself that he's the closest thing he's ever had to a father. But even with that, Obi-Wan's influence is very GROUNDING for Anakin, it reminds Anakin of who he should be and who he CAN be in a way no other relationship he has ever truly does. Obi-Wan's influence in Anakin's life actually INSPIRES Anakin to be better because Obi-Wan has managed to connect with Anakin in a way that goes deeper than some of his other relationships (I think that his relationships with Padme and Ahsoka are both INCREDIBLY skin deep and that Anakin mostly sees them as extensions of himself or primarily for what they can do for him rather than caring about them for who they are).

Which means that, while Anakin's attachment to Obi-Wan is always going to be a bad thing that could feasibly push Anakin to do terrible things, there's arguably evidence in canon to support the idea that if Palpatine had CONTINUED with this particular plan, that it wouldn't have worked quite as well as it did with Padme. I think that Anakin's attachment to Obi-Wan, such as it is, has to come up against Anakin's desire for Obi-Wan's APPROVAL which is only gained when Anakin acts MORE LIKE A JEDI. He WANTS to live up to Obi-Wan's faith in him, he wants to Obi-Wan to be proud of him and feel like the time and effort he spent training him was worth it. It's also worth noting that their dynamic as Master and Padawan makes the whole overprotective thing less likely to come up than it would with people like Padme and Ahsoka. Obi-Wan was MORE powerful than Anakin for a while, MORE capable of protecting himself than Anakin was, and was actually ANAKIN'S protector. So while he does CARE whether Obi-Wan lives or dies, he's also much more inclined to believe Obi-Wan can generally take care of himself, too.

So I can honestly see it sort-of going either way. Obi-Wan's relationship with Anakin is one of the few (if not the ONLY) real grounding influences in Anakin's life and could have possibly broken through the attachment enough to keep Anakin from going full tilt Sith, but it's equally as likely that Palpatine would've found a way around that anyway. Obviously, Palpatine could've just... killed Obi-Wan to get that influence out of the way and pushed Anakin over the edge out of a desire for vengeance as opposed to a desire to keep Obi-Wan from dying in the first place. The attachment is still dangerous, and as long as Palpatine's alive, he'll find a way to use it to get Anakin where he wants him, but if Obi-Wan is ALSO alive, he has the ability to balance out Palpatine's influence to some degree.

[spiral-lemur]

OK THE ANNUAL’S OUT AND I JUST NEED TO BABBLE ABOUT STUFF SOOO SPOILERS AHEAD READ AT UR OWN RISK ETC ETC ETC

OK STORY NUMBER 1.

Ok wow. No it’s fine really. Go ahead. Go ahead and BREAK MY FUCKING HEART right off the bat. They don’t even know later in they’re subconsciously Still following the path Starline mapped out for them by still aiming to replace Sonic and Tails. Like yeah this time Eggman is on the chopping block for real which would make Starline lose his gay little mind but GODDDDDDD

Also it’s really funny that the general perception is that Kit is the more mellow of the two. Appearance wise? Yeah. Mannerisms? For the most part yeah. But deep down this little guy is FUCKED UP.

Like every so often the comic just reminds you “see this cute little guy? he can and will drown you for nothing more than surge’s happiness if he sees fit.” Lil dude does NOT care. Genuinely curious as to how this plotline will develop later on since Kit is clearly misguided. Yes he wants to help Surge and she’ll be happy for a while with this arrangement…as long as she doesn’t find out. What happens when she finds out though? I doubt she’ll be very happy to know all her “accomplishments” were part of a carefully constructed narrative set up by the very person who was meant to support her. I’m just RRRRRRRRGGHRGGHHHRTHHHHHH about them yknow? Also I think it’s interesting that this is set sometime after issue 75; very curious about what “he had to drag them out of there” means for the safety of Restoration HQ and I’m even more curious about where Surge and Kit are right now. Are they still there? Bunking somewhere else? What happened with them and their ties to Clutch and Mimic? Lots of questions to wait and find out. Very excited to see how this goes.

Now for the Knuckles story; admittedly this one isn’t spinning around my brain as much because of the other two stories, but it’s still a lovely read. It serves as some insight for Knuckles’ thoughts about his current life and relationships with his friends and it brings a good ol’ smile to my face.

The art FUCKS as usual when ABT is involved. Like this page? This page right here. Gorgeous. Would be a very fun redraw I think. And I feel it says a lot about how Knuckles feels about these characters without having to say anything which is nice. Rouge, for all the trouble she gives him, also gives him an outlet to blow off some steam and a reason to keep up with his training(aside from Eggman of course), and she obviously wouldn’t be there if he didn’t respect her to some degree. Sonic is someone Knuckles views as a worthy rival, but he’s also a treasured friend alongside Amy and Tails. They may clash, but he knows that at the end of the day they’ve got his back, and he’s got their’s. The Chaotix are a little trickier to pinpoint, but they’re here for a reason. I believe they add a dash of excitement and companionship to his life. They might be a bunch of clowns, but they’re HIS clowns and he cares about them just as much as everyone else here. He knows he can depend on them when it comes down to it, which is what I believe the Master Emerald was trying to get at here.

Also Sonknux enjoyers got a little snack here. A little treat even. But it’s nice to see that just like these guys are still on Knuckles’ mind, he never left THEIR minds either. It’s nice to see that they aren’t just trying to get his help for something and just giving him a friendly visit because 1.) We get to see Knuckles and 2.) The dude could use a day where they don’t bring trouble to his doorstep LOL

Also what the FUCK happened to the Tornado guys I JUST said you weren’t bringing trouble to his doorstep you better keep it that way—

And then it ends with the gang catching Knux up to speed on their latest shenanigans. Like I mentioned earlier I think this story serves as a look into how Knuckles views his current situation, and it’s very heartwarming in my opinion. I think this sequence really sums up the big takeaway from this story:

sorry the quality is ass it’s hard to do these things on a phone

There was a moment where I thought that bright light echidna was Tikal, and I’m a little disappointed it wasn’t. It’s still nice but if it’d been her, you’d best believe I’d have a lot more screamy words about it. It’s not a bad story at all though, and if you’re a Knuckles fan who loves digging into his deeper thoughts I think this story is a good read for you. Also YIPPIEE KNUCKLES CONFIRMED FOR ISSUE 80!!!

Now for the story that I(and I’m sure many others are) am currently foaming at the mouth the most over. It’s no surprise at all that a look into Mimic’s backstory would be something I eat the fuck up as a massive fan of Tangle, Whisper, and everything relating to them. But holy WOW this story had everything I could’ve wanted and I will be using this as fuel for my Diamond Cutter Autism™️

Okay, starting off with him being an actor before joining the Diamond Cutters. This may not seem as relevant to people compared to literally everything else in this story BUT you guys. You guys. When I tell you I lost my shit. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT.

This excerpt is from a (now scrapped) fic where I tried tackling a possible redemption arc for Mimic. We hadn’t had any backstory for Mimic so I’d tried making one up that tied into his shapeshifting. I ended up scrapping the whole thing because Mimic kept getting worse/more irredeemable as a character and I didn’t feel like trying to keep it going; and I feel the need to bring up that Tangle and Whisper would’ve never fully trusted or forgiven him(like. at all), he just would’ve gotten over trying to kill them by the end. I swear I wasn’t aiming for a “you did this horrible shit but it’s ok you feel bad about it so we’re buddies now :3” type deal. Anyway, that useless bit of info aside, I wrote this thing back in 2022. It’s not EXACTLY the same way obviously, but seeing this after having written him as a former actor made me actually stop and gape for a second before scrambling to find that old draft. I guess I could just SMELL the washed up actor on him. And yeah maybe it was the most plausible thing, but I’ve been given an inch and just this once I’m going to run this mile in circles.

After the whole acting thing, the war started, Mimic wanted to show off, left some other teams for dead, etc etc and then he met THEM.

This…houghhhhhhhhh

Do you think Whisper ever thinks back to this day? Do you think it’s ever crossed her mind that if she’d never invited him, her friends might still be alive? Do you think this thought eats her alive on bad nights? Whisper honey I am so fucking sorry. It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known how fucking shitty this guy really was. You didn’t deserve that.

FUCK!!!

Ahem. It’s really bittersweet looking into how these guys acted not just as a team, but as friends. We got a better look as to how these guys were personality-wise and it just stings knowing that this little found family is no longer here because one of them just couldn’t handle vulnerability. Smithy was like an older brother—wise, but just as goofy and playful as the rest of them, and just as ready to tease his little twerps. Claire was like an older sister; similar to Smithy, always looking out for the others, but just as ready to make fun of them. She was probably the straightman in a lot of their antics, but with that loving “oh, you” sense to it. Slinger was the goofy, cocky younger brother. Ready to go for the biggest thing he could find, and usually needing to be saved from his own ambition. He’d make up for that trouble by bringing in a lifetime supply of laughs for all of them. And Whisper…honestly I’d go as far as saying Whisper back then was just like Tangle is now. Optimistic, eager, bubbly. I wonder if that might be why she gravitated towards Tangle rather than the other characters she was friendly with; even before their miniseries. I’d show more images for this part but apparently I can only use 10 images on a phone and my computer still isn’t up so that’s just SWELL. For the last image I’ve got, I’ll just use this:

It just stings so HARD when you really think about what was taken from her. We might have gotten the Whisper we know and love because of it, sure. She may not have met any of the people she holds dear now if it hadn’t gone the way it did. But the fact that she had this little family, the fact she loved them so dearly, the fact she’d put so much trust into them—only to have it ripped away in one selfish decision? That’ll hurt forever. That’ll haunt her for the rest of life; it’ll haunt me too. God the Diamond Cutters sting so good.

Now let’s get Mimic’s little monologue in here. Ahem.

“I got what I wanted. Did I just crave validation? Was it ever about the spotlight? I can’t be myself around them. They don’t know what I’ve done…friendship is supposed to feel good. Solid. Like a foundation…so why does it hurt so much? They don’t see I’m a walking contradiction. One look p-past my facade and I’ll be thrown away! I can’t afford to be so fragile. I look back at my acting days with a soul-wrenching truth staring back at me. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s a rehearsed charade! They are all mirrors, saying what I want to hear until they get what they want. They can’t be trusted. I refuse to play this game anymore.

The moment an opportunity to be rid of these nuisances came, I readily took it. The Diamond Cutters would be gone from this world and mine. I could clear my mind and never feel such visceral pain from their fake smiles. Attachment was erased, like weeds pulled from a garden, as they perished. The pain inside nearly vanished, a good sign for my healing journey. Yet…there was a single, terribly annoying headache left to deal with. I can’t fix what that team did to me until I shatter every last one. Only with this knife, will I finally be cleansed.

I can’t think straight tonight. What is the point of reflecting on all these memories? Am I afraid? Or am I just…tired? Soon, that pain deep within myself will be washed away. And this can all be a bad, bad dream. I’m selfish, arrogant, and colder than a frozen lake. I enjoy the chase, watching others struggle, and I love that about me! I know what I am, so…who are you?”

Man…a LOT to unpack here.

Mimic is a coward. There’s certainly vitriol to my words, but it’s also just a fact based on the evidence we’ve seen. He’d been burned so many times chasing the spotlight in the past, he’d grown to view it as conditional. No one ever truly valued his contributions in his eyes. He was just another part of an act, and when that act was over, no one would need each other anymore—so whenever he felt done with putting on the “show” of contributing to a new team during the war, he quickly cut ties. Some ways more permanent than others—we’ll never know for certain if he got those people killed like the Diamond Cutters, but he certainly didn’t care if he did. The show was over. It didn’t matter.

Then the Diamond Cutters came along. The show was going well, it was a broadway smash! Then the actor’s nemesis began to creep in; imposter syndrome. Mimic knew deep down, he didn’t deserve this success. How many people did he really cut down as he chased the spotlight? How many people had seen his previous work? How long until that all came back to bite him? He didn’t know. It terrified him deep down, judging from the moments of hesitation he’d shown in his monologue. Surely it began to gnaw at him more and more towards the end. He can’t trust them, his smiles were fake so they all had to be faking too, right? There was no way there was such a thing as genuine friendship, teamwork, or any of the like. If it didn’t exist in his world, it couldn’t have existed at all. It began to be kill or be killed; and Mimic intended to be the one doing the killing. So he cut them down too.

But Whisper survived. Whisper was a present reminder of the horrible, selfish things he’d done. As long as she’s around, he can never fully ignore what he’s left behind. He can never truly run away from all of it. So he has his sights set on her; killing her will surely solve all the pain within himself. It has to. It has to.

And he still hesitates. Maybe it’s the way suppressed guilt is manifesting itself, maybe it’s being overly cautious, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. Perhaps once there was a time he could’ve gone back on everything and reinvented himself, but it’s gone now. And he’ll run away from that possibility for the rest of his life. He just has to get rid of that last poster before he can move on to his next big show.

Or I could easily be reading way too much into it but who cares I’m having fun this way! Really enjoyed this story—easily my favorite of the three if you couldn’t tell from all that word vomit. This annual might just be my favorite of them all so far, and I’m excited to see how these characters continue to develop as the comic runs on. That’s just about everything I can think of to say, so that ends my babbling. Thanks to everyone who read this far! I don’t normally get so wordy but this annual really just activated something in me.

[sunfloweraro]

Prompt: How do you wake a sleeping Sky? (Wrong answers only)

Wild makes a terrible choice, one he will come to regret soon.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

“Are you sure this is safe?”

Wild waved Hyrule off. “Don’t worry so much. We’re almost there, we just need to move him a little farther.”

“If you’re sure…”

“You can try and wake him if you’d like?”

Hyrule, wisely, elected not to reply, focusing his efforts tenfold on carrying Sky, bedroll and all, toward the lake. Wild had drawn the short straw this morning, and it was his duty to wake Sky. Knowing better than to try and shake the trained knight awake—Legend had earned a dagger to the side once, and though the wound had been a mere graze, none of them had risked their lives like that again.

“Just in the sand here,” Wild said, and together, they set Sky down next to the water. Phase one of his plan was complete.

Next was getting the hell away from the ticking time-bomb that was an asleep Sky.

“Come on, we need to sit in a tree for this.” Hyrule looked at him funny, but followed, too curious to leave matters be. Together, they clambered up into a tree close enough to see Sky, but far enough away to be out of range when he awoke. Although, if Wild’s plan worked, Sky would have bigger problems than knifing one of them.

Wild pulled out his bow, and Hyrule paled. “Um, Champion, is that a good idea?”

“I won’t hit him,” Wild assured Hyrule. Hyrule did not seem reassured, more so when Wild pulled out a bomb arrow.

But he accepted he wouldn’t be able to stop Wild now. “He’s going to kill us.”

Wild grinned. Drew back the string on his bow and aimed carefully—close enough to Sky that his plan would be effective, while not maiming him in the slightest. A deep breath in—and a brief check to ensure no one else was watching them—and Wild loosed the arrow.

The lake exploded. Water flew into the air unceremoniously, and what goes up must always come down—in this instance, straight onto their dreaming Skyloftian. Sky awoke instantly with a shriek as ice-cold water thundered down on him. “Why?!” he demanded.

Hyrule hummed approvingly. “Good work, Champion. If we’re lucky, he won’t notice us—”

“You two!”

“Hyrule,” Wild said, turning to his friend with a pleasant smile. “Run.”

[olivialau]

Shadow's Embrace Ch.10

Sukuna x Reader

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fanfiction based on the universe of "Jujutsu Kaisen," created by Gege Akutami. The original manga, anime, and characters belong to their respective owners and creators.

Notes:

This story unfolds in the Jujutsu Kaisen world, set in a slightly altered universe where Sukuna inhabits his own vessel distinct from Itadori Yuji's body, making him a separate entity.

Summary:

Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, becomes fascinated with a female sorcerer rich in potential but lacking control. Initially seizing her for his destructive plans, Sukuna aims to bind her abilities through a contract. Yet, as he tries to dominate her, he finds himself intrigued by her strength and determination. Over time, his interest evolves from strategic advantage to a deeper, personal connection.

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CHAPTER 10 - Unwelcome Visitor

As the days dragged on in the grim, gloomy basement, you found yourself grappling with a strange mix of emotions. Despite the undeniable horror of being caged like an animal, the initial days of Sukuna's absence brought an unexpected sense of relief.

No longer did you have to constantly be on guard, worrying about what twisted plans the King of Curses had in store for you next. The break from his relentless torment allowed you to catch your breath, both physically and mentally.

Determined to make the most of this brief reprieve, you resolved to use the time wisely. You needed to allow your worn-down body to recover and regain its health. But more importantly, you needed to grow stronger.

You dedicated yourself to practicing your jujutsu techniques, careful not to overexert yourself but steadily honing your skill and control. This routine had made the first few days suprisingly bearable.

As the time ticked by, however, the initial sense of relief you had felt began to give way to growing unease and worry. The uncertainty of how long this would take started to weigh heavily on your mind.

Questions began to plague you - what if Sukuna never returned? Would you truly be left to starve, trapped in this awful place? And what if he did return, only to deem you no longer useful? Would he hesitate to snap your neck, would he think twice about it?

The loneliness, too, began to take its toll. Being in solitude with your thoughts, especially after all the horrors you had endured here, felt suffocating at times. Old wounds had been reopened and past pain resurfaced.

The non-stop isolation, without anyone to talk or vent to, made you long for the familiar comfort of your loved ones - your parents, your friends, your classmates.

The small window high up on the wall, had become a precious lifeline, allowing you to track the passing of time. The simple connection it provided to the outside world, as limited as it was, helped you feel a tiny bit more grounded.

Carefully tracking the passing of time, you counted twelve days since Sukuna had left. You had recognized the need to conserve your resources, and so you dilligently started to ration the food and water that he'd left behind.

You estimated that you had enough to properly sustain yourself for at least five more days. But after that, it would start to become troublesome.

As you sat down on the worn mattress, your body aching from another self-imposed training session, you couldn't help but let out a weary sigh.

The silence of the basement had become deafening, except for the small noises from outside the window every so often.

You had become so vigilant after being around Sukuna, that the tiniest of noises startled you. Though strangely enough- right now, they also filled you with a sense of anticipation, a glimmer of hope that perhaps your isolation would be broken soon.

The prospect of human interaction, even if it meant facing that horrible man once more, had become a tempting alternative to the relentless torment of your own mind.

Suddenly, another noise startled you, causing your heart to leap in your chest. This time, however, the sound did not seem to originate from outside the window. It felt closer, as if it were coming from the direction of the door.

You carefully tracked the sound, your senses heightened, as it seemed to draw nearer. Until a faint rattling at the door was unmistakable. This couldn't be Sukuna- he had a key.

Your mind raced with possibilities. Was it possible that someone had come to rescue you? The people at Jujutsu High must have noticed your absence by now.

Or perhaps Sukuna had sent for someone to check on you, like that mysterious man Geto.

The rattling grew more loud and impatient, until it stopped altogether and was replaced by the subtle sound of metallic clicks and scrapes- someone was picking the lock.

With a resounding click, the lock opened, and the slow creak of the door echoed through the basement. Whatever was happening, you could tell right away that this was bad news.

Slow, deliberate footsteps descended the stairs, accompanied by an immense, dangerous amount of cursed energy.

Until finally, around the corner, a familiar face appeared - the cursed spirit with the patchwork skin, the one you had seen around here before, the one who had spoken so happily of wanting to break you.

A smirk was plastered on his face as he regarded you, his mismatched eyes staring at you with an intensity that made your skin crawl.

Mahito.

His lips curled further as he explained his presence. "Ah, I haven't seen Sukuna around in a few days, so I just had to come check what he was up to, you know?" His tone was light, almost conversational, but the underlying malice was unmistakable.

He tilted his head, as he continued, "But imagine my surprise to find this place all empty!" Mahito let out a dramatic sigh, his lips curling into a pout.

The cursed spirit stepped closer, unable to contain the excited twitching of his hands.

"But then I sensed your presence down here, all alone" he cooed, with feigned sympathy. "I just couldn't resist taking a peek." He looked like a child who'd just been given a lollipop, as he licked his lips.

You took a defensive stance, glaring at Mahito and beckoning him to stay back. But he paid no heed to your warning, as he kept approaching further.

"Ever since I laid eyes on that quivering soul of yours, I've been just dying to play with you," he continued, with a corrupted innocence to his words.

"Sukuna's been hogging you all to himself, and I'm starting to feel a little left out." He sulked.

Instinctively, you backed away with each step that Mahito advanced, his dangerous aura was nearly as overwhelming as Sukuna's.

At that point, you remembered Sukuna's previous warning to Mahito about not playing with 'his toys', So with no other options you tried to remind the cursed spirit,

"Sukuna wouldn't like it if you touched me. He's made it clear I'm his to play with." Saying that out loud felt degrading and gross, but if it was what was needed to survive, you'd do it.

Mahito merely shrugged his shoulders, snickering dismissively at your warning. "Oh, Sukuna might get a bit angry, sure," he said, waving a hand carelessly. "But he knows the true nature of curses. He'll understand it's just instinct."

The cursed spirit paused, rubbing his chin contemplatively, before a gleeful expression spread across his face. "You know, thinking about it, you do have a point," he mused. "In that case, I won't kill you."

Mahito's carefree attitude made his next words even more unnerving as he met your gaze. "I'll just... twist you up a little, haha!"

Shit, this was bad news. Sukuna's barrier was still in place, trapping you within while allowing Mahito free access, escape was not an option. Attempting to fight him directly would be futile too, the difference in strength was just too great.

Your only hope seemed to be buying time, praying that Sukuna would miraculously arrive and intervene. It was a long shot, but you had to try.

So far, Mahito seemed to relish the opportunity to talk and taunt, so you decided to try and engage him.

With a measured tone, you said, "Your technique... can you at least tell me more about it, before I become a victim of it, that only seems fair."

Mahito burst out laughing, wiping away a tear from the corner of his eye, obviously entertained by your sudden interest. "Well, since you asked so nicely," he agreed, an amused grin spreading across his face.

He stepped even closer, now nearly at your feet as he launched into a suprisingly philosphical monologue. "You probably think of yourself as one whole. Mind, body, soul, combined- that is what makes up a human. Would you say the weight of these three is distributed evenly?".

You pondered over his words making sure to delay the time as much as possible before answering. "I would yes. I think they're all equally important,"

Mahito, prepared for your predictable answer, leaned in closely, as he spat "Wrong!". He then continued on,

"You see, the soul is the true essence of a being. The mind, body and soul are intimately connected, sure, but the soul is the core that shapes and defines your existence. If I reshape the soul, the body will follow. That is my technique- Idle Transfiguration."

His technique was even worse than you expected. You didn't think he'd meant twisting you up in a literal sense. Observing that he left out some details you asked more questions, to stall the time and think of a possible defense.

"So you can shape the physical form by altering the soul? How do you do it?" you questioned, your voice betraying a hint of trepidation. You were unsure if Mahito would divulge the details of his technique, but you had to try.

Mahito didn't seem reticent in sharing the specifics, perhaps because he knew you were no match for him anyway. "Well, for starters, I can see the soul. I'm aware of the shape of my own soul, too."

He suddenly changed the shape of his fingers to resemble sharp blades, waving them at you in a demonstration that startled you momentarily.

The cursed spirit chuckled, obviously satisfied at having been able to unsettle you a little. "Changing my own form like that is easy, but to change the shape of others, there is a condition that needs to be met,"

"What's that?" you pressed cautiously, your heart pounding as Mahito slowly reached out and landed his hand on your cheek, squeezing it slightly in a mocking gesture.

Mahito looked you straight in the eyes, his gaze turning serious, dangerous. Before he answered. "A touch,"

Your eyes widened and your heart sank as the realization dawned on you - he had already made contact.

Adrenaline flooded your system, and you cursed your own carelessness. Was this truly the end?

You scanned your body, bracing for the impending torture, but to your surprise, there was nothing. Mahito retracted his hand, bursting out into laughter as he bent over, holding his stomach.

"A touch, and intent," he muttered through his snickering. "And luckily for you, I don't intend to die by Sukuna's hands anytime soon. I told you, didn't I? That I wouldn't kill you."

Relief washed over you as you processed Mahito's words. He was merely playing around, taunting you and savoring your every response. But at least he seemed genuine in not intending to kill you outright.

However, the relief was short-lived as Mahito composed himself after his laughter, standing up straight again. His gaze turned menacing as he explained, "Tweaking your soul would be too much. It would kill you for sure..."

"But you know, I've been wondering lately... What would happen if I twist the body first?" He leaned in, a disturbing curiosity etched across his face. "Would the soul follow along?"

The cursed spirit let out a chilling chuckle. "This would be the perfect experiment, haha!,"

"Don't worry it won't kill you. It will just hurt..." His voice dropped to a menacing whisper. "A lot."

Shit, this wasn't over yet. As Mahito prepared to charge at you, you instinctively conjured up a blast of cursed energy from your hands. The training over the past week had improved the precision and aim of your attacks, causing Mahito to back away slightly to evade.

However, the short range barely gave you enough time to recharge your cursed energy between attacks. Mahito was quickly able to cover the distance again, and you had no way to defend yourself as he grabbed your arm and twisted it behind your back, applying pressure until it snapped beyond the range of motion with a sickening crack.

The pain of having your shoulder dislocated was excruciating, and you let out a agonized cry.

Mahito in turn, let out a delighted scream of his own as he reveled in your pain. "Yes, that's it!" he exclaimed, his eyes filled with sadistic glee. "Fight back, struggle! Make this even more fun!".

Barely giving you a chance to recover, he continued his assault. He kicked your legs, tackling you to the ground, before stomping on your ankle, grinding it mercilessly into the concrete floor.

The sickening crunch of bone against the unyielding surface sent aching shockwaves through your body, and left your ankle crumpled and useless.

Mahito towered over you, observing his work with a critical eye. "Hmm, its not quite right yet," he remarked, disappointment evident in his voice. "Altering the body directly is so much more limited than reshaping the soul."

The cursed spirit let out a sigh, as if your suffering had somehow fallen short of his expectations.

The pain was overwhelming, making it difficult to process what was happening, but through the haze of agony, you heard Mahito musing, "Maybe putting a hole in it would work."

Your eyes widened in horror as the cursed spirit warped his own body, transforming his arm into a drill. Without warning, he plunged the spinning appendage deep into your stomach.

The impact was devastating, knocking the breath from your lungs as you coughed up a spray of blood.

You looked down in horror at the massive, gaping hole in your stomach. The severity of the wound was undeniable - there was no way you would survive this without immediate medical attention.

Mahito let out a triumphant laugh, "Ahaha, that's more like it!"

But as your limbs went numb, and your lips turned a bluish hue from the pool of blood that started to form, a flicker of worry crossed the cursed spirit's face.

"Hmmm, maybe I overdid it," he muttered. His brows furrowed slightly, as he gently nudged his foot into your ribs to see if you were still responsive. Your body began to shiver and go cold, the world around you growing distant.

At that point, a deafening bang echoed across the basement as the door slammed open with incredible force. Mahito whirled around in shock, his eyes widening as an all-consuming, dark aura filled the room.

You were barely conscious, your vision blurred and your ears ringing with a high pitch. But you didn't need those senses to recognize the familiar, oppressive energy that had just flooded the space.

There was no mistaking it - Ryomen Sukuna was here.

---------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I appreciate it <3

Taglist: @sukunasthightattoos , @tomiokasecretlover , @6demonize6me6 , @blindbabycadder , @domainofmarie , @marcoschuitmaker

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[tare-anime]

This lovely art from @aerequets really aligned with one of my HCs about how Yor's past will be revealed to us:

The three of them unexpectedly meet at one mission. Maybe Twilight was trying to find information, Yor was doing her mission, and Yuri was suspecting something fishy at the SSS higher ups. Or something like that

After the first commotion, which somehow resolved quickly because the three of them coorperate, Yuri aim his gun towards Twilight, full with hatred because this man bertrayed his sister. Twilight was full with guilt. And Yor felt her world crumble because the two most important men in her world were not what she think they were.

Nevertheless, Yor tried to separate them. And yet both men were so stubborn.

They were so focused into their fight that they didn't realized reinforcement came, until Yor step up in front of them and was severely injured protecting them.

Both men finally direct their anger towards the reinforcement whose goals was to eliminate any eye witness.

Fierce battle ensues, but of course our heroes managed to survive (barely, in Yor's case).

Twilight and Yuri then cooperate and rush to help the most important woman in their life.

Twilight told Yuri to find transportation, while he tried his best to stop his wife's profuse bleeding.

Yor gently held his hand, and whispered, "Don't abandon Anya..." which Twilight's responded with, "No. I will never." And in his desperation he told her that he will finally took a holiday from his job, and they will go to the apple festival at neighbour town (or any other family activity), which Yor responded with, "I'd love that."

Twilight smiled and warned his wife to take a deep breath cause his next action would hurt like hell.

And indeed it was.

The bleeding slowed down but enduring the pain was too much for weakened Yor and she passed out.

Twilight bit his lips to stop himself from crying, when he hugged and covered his wife with his jacket, whispering, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry....I'm sorry...."

Yuri came with functional vehicle and all of them rushed to medical facility.

At the hospital / hidden medical facility (maybe WISE's), Twilight was sitting, waiting with 'dead look' on his face. (For once he cannot do anything. For once all he can do was sit and wait.)

Yuri shoved a cup of hot coffee in front of his face, and said "My sister is strong. She managed to survive injury this severe back then, of course she will survive again this time."

Twilight was shocked to hear that. And we get a bit of Yor's flashback via Yuri's POV.

Little Yuri was sitting at the side of his sister's hospital bed. At that time he was told that Yor got an accident during her job/being mugged etc. And little Yuri cried his tears of joy when Yor finally opened her eyes. He took care of her. And after she finally able to stand back on her feet, Yuri studied extra hard, and got accepted at the Uni at 14 y.o.

Twilight was surprised to hear the story.

The doctor came out and tell the men that Yor has survived her surgery, and will be closely monitored at the ICU.

Just when Twilight want to see her, Handler came and asked him to finish the interrupted mission. So he went with several WISE agents.

He succeed in finishing the mission, and returned to the hospital.

Upon entering Yor's room, he saw Yuri snoring at the sofa. Anya curled at Yor's side. And his wife was sleeping with so many monitor cables, IV lines, oxygen mask attached to her.

He carefully held her hand and whispered, "Yor, please come back to us. To me."

Yor was dreaming about her past. When she was living happily during childhood, Yuri's birth, her parent's death. Her survival during her first years after her parent's death. Her meeting Garden. Her harsh training. Her first kill. (All of these will make our heart shatters without a doubt 😭💔💔)

And during her harshest days, she will always remembered her father's words, "Remember the warmth of your family. Your home."

Her father's words still echoing when Yor finally opened her eyes.

She looked around and deduced that apparently she was still alive. Especially since she can feel the warmth around her.

At the sofa, Yuri was sleeping soundly. Curled right next to her was Anya. And the one holding her hand was her husband.

She smiled, and with all the power she had at the time, she carressed her husband's hand with her thumb.

Loid jolted awake. And in his disoriented state, his eyes widen, and come close to his wife, whispered, "Yor?"

Yor rasped, "I'm..... home...."

Loid cried out of happines, and kissed her saying, "Welcome home." (And we will be bawling hard over this panel for sure 😭😭😭😭)

[thethiefandtheairbender]

Thinking about the common autistic trait of "needing all the / as much information as possible in order to generate an informed opinion," specifically under the aim of creating a Correct(ly Phrased) Opinion that is tangible and clear and not easily refuted.

Think "my favourite movie is my favourite movie because it is the best movie I've seen". This is a very carefully curated statement that conveys the information in a protective manner, as it is an opinion that cannot be easily barrelled over. The justification for why it is your favourite is included (it is the 'best,' although what constitutes best can obviously vary and be very preferential, for example, I like movies with intensive parallels) and the parameters are included, as it is the best of the ones you've personally seen. If someone who interprets your statement as "my favourite movie is the best" and goes to contradict you, if they bring up a 'better movie' that you have not seen, your statement already encompasses that rebuttal. If they bring up a movie you have both seen, then you move onto explaining what you constitute as best.

This is where being as clear as possible, and getting as much information out as possible (because giving lots of information about areas of interest is common because of hyperfixation, missing social cues of how long is it 'normal' to be talking, or just out of a desire to communicate and connect) can work against us, because too many things can be folded into it and then we end up repeating parts of our initial statement as clarification anyway.

Wanting to have all the information can also come into conversations in wanting to ensure that the other person you're talking to also has all the information, as a facet of wanting to connect, and demonstrating you respect that person's intelligence in receiving confirmation that they've thought everything through or in their ability to understand what you're talking about even if they haven't already considered it themselves.

If that person is not also autistic, though, chances are that person is not being as in-depth conversation wise (even if it is as in-depth thinking wise) for some of the reasons listed above, which leads to you wanting to verbally fill in the gaps to make sure you're working with the same information. This isn't necessarily because you think that if they had all the same information (perspective, facts, etc) that you do that they'd think the same as you—although that can be part of it, as you know the times where you have changed your mind / formed your opinion was based on acquiring more information that was useful (to again reshape your opinion to avoid it being 'incorrect' = able to be easily torn down). But it is born out of a desire to create consistency for what is being discussed (think wanting to make sure you're using the same rules when playing a game, but as / in a conversation) so that if they do agree or disagree, you are better able to grasp why because all of your guesses as to why are directly filled in, which is easier than having to fill in the gaps on your own. And unless you know that other people have that encompassed perspective of "I've considered all the things and I think this," you're more likely to think they could be wrong, and because you work really hard to try and ensure that you're never wrong (maybe because you've been punished socially very harshly in the past for being wrong), you want to try and ensure that you or them are not missing anything.

This communication process can be accordingly time consuming and subsequently frustrating for allistic people, who I would assume can maybe feel being presented with dense alternatives or reasonings as "this is why you're wrong" (which is a statement / conversational turn that can be deeply frustrating for anyone, including autistic people, as well, obviously) when what you're looking for is, "I see what you're saying and/or I already thought about that and I still think XYZ instead of ABC". Because that is a clearly phrased opinion that has a strong foundation (because you've checked and/or been presented with one) and is therefore not easily rebutted. Because, in your head, you want all your opinions to be like that, and why wouldn't other people?

And it's not that allistics don't want that, but I think the conscious background effort towards it when presenting an opinion on anything, rather than just presenting and assuming it's understood that it's there, is probably different. And some of this might also come from growing up in societies where "why do we have to think / do that," that wanting to know the foundation and know that it resolutely makes sense / encompasses a lot of perspectives or whatever it is, is something that autistic people are more primed to do and seek out, because we've grown up in societies surrounded by laws, rules, and ideas that are inconsistent and don't make sense and our consistent questioning of them probably contributed to us realizing we were autistic in the first place

As we got older and learned more information, we learned that many of those rules/ideas were wrong and we don't have to conform to them, because the foundation wasn't there. The opinions/stances are easily torn down because they don't encompass, or —if it is there — present all the information. And we want the information. We don't want to be Wrong™ and we always assume that we are wrong or will be wrong until we have the information and can be Right/okay.

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

VH - The Notice

(TW: the worst, lamest knifeplay you’ve ever read)

Villain was angry, disappointed, and most of all, confused. Fortunately, nothing can clear the ideas up like a good notice. Unfortunately, this was the one they were reading:

Congratulations for your new purchase of the All-Cutting Tool™ ! The All-Cutting Tool™ combines the ancestral knowledge of mankind and the new * cutting edge * technologies by combining an elegant, comfortable, ergonomic wooden handle with a sharp stainless steel blade at the end. Simple and easy to use, the All-Cutting Tool™ will remind you that a problem with no solution doesn’t exist...as long as you have the right tool by your side ! In the comfort of your own home, connect with your ancestors by cutting your belongings with your own hands , and feel the life force you have taken from a piece of wood, a steak, a mighty carrot or your own foes !

“Yeah, yeah, a lot of meaningless stuff, what I want to know is how to deal with problems with the product – cutting objects, cutting food, cutting remarks – ah there we go, cutting your foes, section D.”

Caution ! This usage is widely considered illegal. The All-Cutting Tool™ Company does not condone acts of violence. As such you won’t be refunded in case of misuse.

“Aw man, of course the guarantee won’t work. They count on it, the bastards.”

Warning ! Most people are reluctant at the idea of being cut up. Before beginning, if your victim is alive, make sure it’s tied up for your own security. You risk to be severely injured if it can move. For more security, think to add a gag or even a blindfold (see our other products on our website).

The process is similar to cutting meat, as it is more or less the same fabric. The main difference is that if the victim is alive, it’s likely to be squeakier and twitchier. For a precise cut, secure the place you want to stab. (See 1b, 1c, 1d). Maybe write an x on the skin or something. We don’t judge. If you want to hit a lethal part of the body, stab these parts (see 2a, b, c, d).

Warning ! If you hit a lethal part, your victim won’t be able to move or to make a sound anymore (except the occasional aaaargh, maybe). This action can’t be reversed and should be reserved for experienced users. Think wisely. Also it’s illegal (for related problems, contact our lawyers).

To cut your victim, take your All-Cutting Tool™ by the handle. Take a deep breath. Look at the body part you want to aim. Think of fun One-Liners to say at this moment (for ideas, you can consult the forum on our website). Then strike (use your shoulder muscles, not your wrist so you don’t damage your joints). The pointy part of the tool should interact with the meaty part of the victim with enough strength to pierce the skin. Bleeding should ensue. If not, repeat the same movement at the same place until the expected result.

“Yeah, but that’s the problem, assholes ! The expected result is...never mind. Let’s try one more time, shall we ?”

Hero shrugged as much as a proper tied-up foe could shrug. Villain carefully put the notice away, took their shining new tool in their hand, and then, their lips pursed in concentration, recited:

“So, the pointy end towards the victim... I aim at a fun body part, let’s say kidneys...the impulse is coming from the shoulder and here goes nothing -”

They struck with all their strength in a move that would have made any notice writer proud, except the result. The blade did hit the skin as intended, but then it bounced, making a sound like this:

“Zdiiiiiiiingbonnng”

“Aw, come on !”

They shook the blade to no effect. With a skilled tongue movement that would have made many an eyebrow arch, Hero could finally get rid of his gag with which he was struggling since a while, and said:

“May I explain ?”

“I’d rather you’d bled.”

“Yeah, but it won’t happen.”

“But why ? This All-Cutting Tool™ is new !”

Hero slipped a hand out of his bonds to rub the bridge of his nose.

“It’s a knife. It’s literally a knife. Listen, my deal is that I’m actually a vampire. Hypnotism, super strength, super durability, the whole package.”

“Okay, but -”

“I’m supposed to pass myself as a victim so I can see how you act.”

“Right - “

“I swear that usually I’m smooth. But then I told you to get the notice for the knife – a fucking knife – and it was supposed to be banter, you know -”

“Uh-uh -”

“-But then you’ve actually read it out loud with a straight face -”

“Yeah -”

“-And then I’ve lost all hope about this mission. So here’s the deal: I’m going to bring you down, you will not resist and I won’t tell anyone what happened.”

“Fine. Fair enough.”

*

Vampire Hero is now a recurring character. His job is to troll current villains. Check the Vampire Hero Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with him.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

[dell-amor-te]

“An Antiva City Oddysey”

Otherwise known as my Veilguard30 Day 6: Gender entry, but l used it as an excuse to write some Dadcanis.

Word Count: 3,430.

Warning(s): Canon typical violence, nothing crazy.

Pairing: F!Rook x Lucanis Dellamorte.

Summary: A pregnant Nöa and Lucanis team up with Illario to begin a caper that will become so much more than the three of them could have imagined here at the beginning of it all.

Head's up: this takes place during an ongoing to in-development postcanon plotline that I've been cooking up that will deal heavily with the future of the Antivan Crows. I'm well aware that Veilguard will probably alter some things about this plot, so if deeper details seem vague, that's because I'm doing it on purpose.

In exchange: I offer more Dadcanis. This time: pre-Jude's birth. (AKA: Lucanis makes for a better mother hen than he does a Crow.)

Cold raindrops slicked the cobblestone streets of Antiva City, casting a fog over the already night-obscured streets of the still bustling city. Despite the lateness of the hour, barkers, grifters, bar-goers, and other souls still filled the city streets and every tavern along the way. Among the throngs were two hooded figures, neither particularly tall, though one still stood a head over his companion.

“Watch your step.” The hooded man warned carefully.

“You worry too much, vhenan.” The hooded woman, an elf, teased in reply.

The couple continued on in companionable silence, keeping a low profile amidst the thick crowds of the city. The hooded man took the lead. He was far more familiar with the city than his elven counterpart, and the sooner they reached their destination, the sooner they could put this whole affair behind them.

Their destination: a less-inhabited inn on one of the many back-alleys of the city. The closer they came to the inn, the less and less din from the main streets that followed at their heels.

Just outside of the inn’s open entryway stood a single, stout man. A kitchen aid, though not the head chef. The inn was nothing fancy, but it was obvious to anyone that cared enough to pay attention that their kitchen staff cared about the meals they prepared, at least to some degree. The man was haggard, wringing callused hands against his well-kempt white apron.

The second he caught sight of the approaching couple, his shoulders slumped as he let out a heavy sigh of relief, hurrying to meet them.

“Thank the Maker you two came.” The kitchen-hand said quickly, ushering the hooded pair to the inn’s back door and out of the rainfall.

“This better be good.” The shorter of the hooded couple said. “I have a germinating spore cluster that’ll need attention soon.”

“So far gone and she’s still running her little tests.” The kitchen-hand laughed shakily, gesturing to the woman as he aimed his attention at the taller (though still not tall) stranger. “Isn’t that dangerous?” He addressed the question right over the woman’s head.

“Talk to her, not me.” The man said curtly, stopping by one of the prep tables while his partner moved into the otherwise empty kitchen proper.

“Right. Of course.” The kitchen-hand cleared his throat, stationing himself near the man.

The woman removed her hood while she moved through the kitchen, revealing a shock of unnaturally phthalo green hair, pulled back into a notably long braid. She knelt down easily enough, removing a tray of long-cold hors d’oeuvres from a lower rung of a magic-chilled stack of trays.

She heaved a breath as she rose, the movement not as deft as it might have been had her middle not been so swollen.

“My lady, are you sure that’s wise, given your condition?” The kitchen-hand asked shakily.

“It’s funny how people always want to question the expert.” The woman noted evenly, still eyeing the half-picked through finger foods. “Besides, if you were concerned about my condition, why would you ask for me by name?”

“Oh. My apologies. I just…”

“Don’t they always?” Nöa sighed knowingly. “You said the guests were dead within minutes of ingesting these?”

“Yes, but, my lady. You see, it wasn’t I who requested you.”

“Then, who?”

Before the man could answer, a door swung open, claiming all three’s attention.

“There you two are! I was getting bored!” A familiar and boisterous bade them. “Holy Maker, you’re massive, Nöa.”

“Aw, I missed you, too, Illario.” Nöa put a hand on her hip as she shot a smile at the man, unfazed by his dramatic entrance.

The oh so respected and feared First Talon of the Crows flashed a disarming smile as he embraced his sister-in-law, seizing her in both arms with an affectionate groan. Behind them, Lucanis took off his own hood at last, revealing his own identity as he came to join his family.

The kitchen-hand stood, stupefied.

“Sorry, sorry. I just…didn’t I see you just a few weeks ago?” Illario asked as he stepped back to study her.

“That’s the funny thing about babies, they tend to keep growing.” Lucanis said as he accepted his cousin’s incoming embrace. “What in the world are you doing here?”

“Well, this nessuno certainly didn’t. No offense.” Illario offered quickly, along with another smile aimed at the harried kitchen-hand.

“None…taken.” Clearly the man was far too focused trying to determine what exactly he found himself in the middle of rather than fretting over Illario’s mild slight.

“Ah!” Illario seemed to remember something. He snapped his fingers before pointing to Nöa. “Did you bring the potion I requested?”

“Oh!” Nöa blinked, pulling her satchel from her side to her front so she had easier access. “I did. Although I’m still not sure what use you could possibly have for it?” She located a small, clear-liquid filled flask. “I mean, obviously I know what this is for. I just don’t understand your interest in it.”

“You’ll see.” Illario reached out a hand, palm up. “May I, my dear?”

Nöa obliged without a second thought, though her interest remained piqued.

Lucanis moved to his wife’s side while Illario made his way toward the portly kitchen-hand. The man’s eyes widened as Illario uncorked the vial and held it out for the shorter man to take.

“Signore?”

“It won’t hurt you. Talon’s honor.” Illario vowed cheerily.

“Talon?”

Were it possible, the man became even more frazzled, panicked.

Illario continued smiling.

As if he knew he had no choice, the kitchen-hand swore, taking the vial from Illario and swallowing its contents hastily. He began gasping, no doubt expecting the contents to take his life from him. After a moment, his breathing relaxed, and he looked at Illario with a confused stare.

“Seems you’ve gotten turned around, my friend.” Illario patted the man on the back, turning him toward the open back door. “Your shift ended hours ago. Your family is waiting for you at home, you should hop to!”

“My…my family. Right.”

Illario stood in the doorway, waving the man on for a moment. Once he was satisfied they were alone, he closed the door and dropped his façade with a heavy sigh. “Maker.” He exhaled.

Lucanis arched a question eyebrow at his wife and cousin. “What was that?” He questioned.

“Forget-Me-Not!” Nöa explained with a pleased lit to her voice as she explained how the compound worked to her husband. “It’s a nepthenian drug. A pleasant one. It rids you of negative memories while keeping your mind intact.” She looked to Illario. “What in the world did he see that made you think to request such a thing?”

Illario grew serious. “Upstairs. Come, with me.”

The grim look on Illario’s face looked entirely out of place in his gestures. True, he was as expressive as a person could come, and he often ran the full array of the emotional spectrum in a very short period of time. And yet this foul expression was unlike any Nöa had seen him wear so far.

And by the look on Lucanis’ face, he had never seen it before.

And that did nothing to settle Nöa’s nerves.

The rest of the inn was abandoned, empty. Nöa wondered if that was typical for business. The kitchen had been stocked with fresh supplies, so she knew the place couldn’t be decommissioned or out of business. She wondered if Illario had seen to clear it of guests himself, or if it had been emptied when he arrived.

She wondered what had brought him here.

But now was not the time to ask questions aloud.

In silence, Illario led them to the top floor of the three-level inn. From there, he guided them down the needle-straight hall with rentable rooms on both sides to its end, to the last door on the right.

“There are two more bodies in that room on the left. But this is the one we want.”

Before turning the doorknob, he grimaced at them both.

The door opened without a sound. Illario didn’t move to enter, instead stepping back to allow his cousin and cousin-in-law to enter before him.

The room was in absolute disarray, Nöa could see that even before she sent up the small ball of fire to illuminate the room. It hovered harmlessly in the air above them, though the scene it shed light on was far from harmless.

But it was the body on the bed, carved up almost ritualistically—though his face was untouched—that really sent the live blood running cold.

“Mierda.”

“Fenedhis.”

Illario almost snorted. “Your child is going to have an unparalleled array of vulgarities to hurl at people.” He noted, though his stab at levity felt flat.

Lucanis stepped forward, standing vigil at the side of the bed. Nöa turned the other way, not for shock’s sake—she would be a hypocrite to be afraid of a little blood and guts, even arrayed in such a particular way.

No, it was the smell that got to her.

She covered her nose with the back of her hand, saying an empty prayer in the hopes that it did enough to keep her from emptying the contents of her stomach onto the floor. Illario once more made room for her in the doorway while she recovered.

“Amor?”

“I’m alright.” She assured Lucanis quickly. “It’s just the smell.”

Illario’s brow twitched.

“Heightened sense of smell.” She explained. “Because of the hormones.”

“Oh.” Illario hid a new grimace.

Nöa smiled knowingly, fleeting under her blanching skin. “Oh, yes, it’s a treat.”

“Don’t push yourself.” Lucanis insisted.

The blood did hang particularly thick, even for the quantity present.

Lucanis turned back to the body, studying it once more. The light from his wife’s spell shifted. That’s when he caught sight of the man’s untouched face.

“Is this…”

“King Fulgeno II.” Illario answered dryly. “Or, at least, that’s what someone wants us to believe.”

“You don’t think it’s him?” Nöa questioned.

“What business could bring the king to a third-rate inn down some back alley lane, unaccompanied by so much as a single guardsman?” Illario posited.

“It isn’t simple spellwork to make such a recreation.” Nöa pointed out.

Lucanis said nothing, though he could feel two knowing pairs of eyes on him.

He banished all thoughts of Zara Renata and her lapdog, Calivan.

“Who would take such a chance?” Lucanis asked. “There’s no benefit to this.”

“Someone who really wants to undermine the Crows, who else?” Illario suggested. “Could you imagine if the contract ended up in the wrong hands and Viago had come here instead?”

Neither Lucanis nor Nöa wanted to dwell on that thought.

“He would have been so blinded he would have missed the obvious.” Lucanis said at length. “Not only does the king’s presence not make sense, but he would never eat untested food.”

“The finger foods.” Nöa nodded. “It smelled like a honey-poison. The flavor is enchanted by application. It’s a cruel method. Cheap and effective, too. Now I understand why the First Talon himself is here.”

Illario bowed politely.

“It’s sloppy work. But so sloppy that it must be intentional. But to what end?” Lucanis turned to face the doorway, squaring up to his cousin’s gaze. “What would you have us do?”

“The Mage Killer and the Lucky Hare at my disposal. I think there’s only one thing to do.” Illario put his hands on his hips. “I have a couple different leads. Lucanis, I was hoping I could give you some footwork while Nöa and I go talk to a few contacts of mine.”

“No talking? I’m in.” Lucanis said. “Send me where you will.”

“Ever reliable, you.”

Illario described the destination to Lucanis quickly enough. Both Crows knew the city infinitely better than their Veil Jumper. With his task set, Lucanis turned to bid his wife farewell before taking his leave.

“Do try to stay out of trouble.” Lucanis said.

Nöa smirked. “I make no promises.”

He sighed, affectionate and fatigued.

“Shall we, my dear?” Illario cleared his throat, catching Nöa’s attention.

“After you, cousin.” She said.

…

“I can’t fucking believe this.”

“It could be worse.” Illario tried.

“Could it?” Nöa challenged, straining to keep her incredulity in check.

Illario waffled, before relenting. “No.” He admitted, deflating. “I’ll need to contact Viago. And soon. If nothing else, whatever move he makes next, this can’t be tied back to him.”

“Would it matter if it could be?” Nöa asked as she used one nail to clean dried blood out from another. “Doesn’t it just reinforce the true power at play, really?”

And Illario thought he had been giving the legwork to Lucanis.

The three dead Executors would say otherwise.

Illario shook his head, casually readjusting his tunic’s color against the night’s chill. One of the Executors has grabbed it at one point during the scuffle, he reasoned.

“Don’t want to think about it right now.” He decided. “Let’s talk about something lighter than lines of succession, shall we?”

Who knew who could be listening?

“Like what?” Nöa fell into step beside him, playing off the anxiety she could feel practically radiating from Illario.

She also elected to ignore the ache in her hip that threatened to disrupt her stride. She couldn’t tell if it was a result of the added pressure on her hips thanks to the baby, or if she had stepped wrong evading an Executor’s dagger before she had introduced them to one of hers.

At least if she couldn’t keep up the pace, she could play it off as a pregnant woman’s waddle to any wandering eyes.

“Like…have you and Lucanis decided on a name for my niece or nephew yet?” Illario bumped her—carefully—with his shoulder.

Nöa snorted, musing him right back. “There have been discussions.” She assured him.

“But no decision.” The younger Dellamorte said.

“Not so much.” She confirmed. “But it’s not like we don’t still have time.”

“Then allow me to make some suggestions.” He took her arm in his as they walked together.

Despite the tension of the evening, Nöa found herself laughing at him. She was also grateful that he had the observance you would expect of a Crow, since now their paces would be set by her.

She would have to make a salve out of whatever she could scrounge up back at the end.

“Oh, what about Ofelia?” Illario supplied, humming. “It’s a very popular name in Treviso. Very popular. Very chic.”

“It’s pretty enough.” Nöa shrugged. “I don’t know how well it flows, though. Ofelia Volkarin.” She did him the courtesy of testing the name before shaking her head.

She decided at the last minute to omit the Dellamorte that should have followed her maiden name. That was something sure to catch attention if anyone who shouldn’t be listening happened to be listening.

“Lilia?”

A non-committal groan, unimpressed.

“Okay, fine.” Illario’s grin was downright diabolical. “How about Illaria?”

“That’s just the feminine version of your name.”

Illario practically beamed. “It means “cheerful,” you know? Very fitting for anyone who has you as a mother.”

“Nice try, cousin.” She teased.

“Worth a shot.”

“What about boys?” Nöa said. “It could be a boy, you know.”

“Matteo?”

Nöa nodded at that. “Ooh, could call him Teo. Not terrible.”

“Alessandro. Lucien. Luca?” Illario raised a sharp and knowing eyebrow.

“Those two are entirely too close to Lucanis’ name. We already agreed we weren’t naming them after ourselves.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun.” His eyes brightened as an idea crossed his mind. “Or maybe you prefer something a little more neutral? Like being a woman named Nöa.”

“That’s called a juxtaposition, darling.” She corrected harmlessly. “It’s an interesting thought, though. I hated having a boyish name when I was younger.”

“Really?”

Nöa nodded. “I would get so tired of hearing people’s disappointment when a girl walked into the room instead of the boy they were expecting. The south can have a woman head the Chantry, and yet I was looked down on for being a woman who was proud to be one.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“I got over it. Learned to love my name, and to wear it as a badge of honor. But…I don’t know.”

“I didn’t know that about you.”

“Why would you?” Nöa smiled, unperturbed. “It’s part of the story, but not one I let affect me too much. I never would have thought about it if it weren’t for other people, because I like who I am, how I am. I just had to make sure everyone else could see that, too. I’d like the same to be true for her. Or him. Or whoever they are. Whoever they choose to be.”

“That’s all any of us can ask for, isn’t it? Acceptance, support.” Illario mused.

“I mean, I could ask for a bed right now. I’m exhausted.” She drawled, feigning dramatics. “And it’s your cousin’s fault, so I think you should take the blame.”

“Come on, amica, we’re almost done. Just one more sweep to make sure no one ruins our night. And then I’ll make sure no one bothers you for a full day.” He nudged her with his shoulder. “Besides, he’s your husband. I think that trumps cousin here.”

“Oh, and yet any other time cousin trumps spouse?”

“It’s been convenient for me every other time.”

Illario’s estimation was fairly spot on. Another hour, and their work was done and they were rounding back to rejoin Lucanis. He was idling near an old inn, just out of sight unless you were looking for him like they were.

“Welcome back.” The older Dellamorte greeted the pair before welcoming his wife with a kiss. “How did it go?”

“Well, our good friends from across the sea won’t come snooping around Antiva City again any time soon, that’s for certain. Although they will come back eventually.”

Lucanis’ frown deepened.

“I wouldn’t ask for specifics beyond that.”

The older Dellamorte noted a few stray splatters of blood on his wife’s blood.

“We spent time chatting. Mostly.” Nöa added, making herself comfortable against her husband’s side, assuring him that all was well before his mind could get ahead of him.

It was a clear we’ll talk about it later—when it’s safer.

Lucanis nodded his understanding.

“Getting to know each other. You know.” Illario supplied coolly.

“I thought you did that when you performed the banns?” Lucanis said.

“It’s a process, Lucanis. Trust the process.”

“Right…” Lucanis drawled dryly. “So…what now?”

“Well, there’s nothing more we can do tonight. And I promised your delightful bride here a full day undisturbed.”

“He did.”

“I’ll debrief you on our findings while she gets her sleep, and you can tell me how your job went.” Illario decided. “Then we should probably get some sleep, too. We’ve got work ahead of us.”

“It sounds like you have an idea, cousin.”

“The beginning of one, I think. Thanks to you.” He pointed to Nöa.

“Little old me? I’m flattered.” Nöa settled herself in a chair nearby, waiting patiently for Illario to elaborate.

The only thing that could ever keep her from sleep was the promise of an interesting conversation.

“I’ve been thinking.” Illario admitted. “Just because the summit was a failure doesn’t mean everything about it was wrong.”

“It wasn’t technically a failure.” Lucanis reminded his cousin, moving to lean himself on the back of his wife’s claimed seat. “The end goal was still achieved. Mostly.”

“My point being that the Crows have to be more unified going forward. We may have helped everyone else circumvent the rest of the world, and Antiva may be free of the Qunari threat, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be threatened. The Crows have to be more stable, they have to be able to stand for their home.”

“Especially given tonight’s odyssey.” Nöa added.

“Exactly.” Illario nodded. “But I’m going to need help if I’m going to make it more than a half-cocked scheme.”

“You have us.” Nöa told him.

“Always.” Lucanis said with a nod.

“Thank you. Both.”

He couldn’t quite quantify what their support meant, especially after…well, everything. But knowing they were behind him, whatever happened next, Illario felt full confidence.

“It seems we have a long night ahead of us, after all.” Lucanis sighed. “I’ll go see if I can make a halfway decent pot of coffee with whatever’s down in the kitchen.”

The night felt different. How so, Lucanis couldn’t put a name to yet. But he knew if he was going to make it through, he was going to need coffee. Something strong.

And a lot of it.

[earlgreytea68]

Do u have any twin skeletons thoughts/analyses?

SO MUCH. BUCKLE UP.

I looooove this song and I think it is the most raw and brutal song about the disintegration of the Pete/Patrick relationship in the entire discography, I really do.

Patrick jumbles his use of lyrics up time-wise, he plucks them from all over their chronology, but I don't think he would write this song today, and I don't think he would write the lyrics up in this song today. Like, the lyrics are brutal, but the song they're in are worst, the way he arranges them, the way he sings them.

BUT THEN HE ENDS IT IN HOPE. THIS SONG.

I feel like there is this vague trajectory to the lyrics that Pete writes and the way that Patrick arranges and sings them. When they're both young kids, the lyrics are more straightforwardly melodramatic and self-pitying, the way kids are, and Patrick sings them that way. Which isn't to say they're not still complex, but yeah. As they move toward the hiatus, I feel like the lyrics actually get less bitter and more longing but Patrick starts arranging them and singing them more viciously, so that lyrics that could have been love songs become angry songs instead. Post-hiatus, Pete's lyrics take a distinctive pining turn that he's never entirely left, although they're not always about relationships (they never were, really, which is what I love about him) but about the passage of time and the way everything is yearning ambivalence for things you can't even define as you get older. Patrick in the beginning of the hiatus still arranged these lyrics in songs that felt defiant but by now the lyrics get put into love songs and lose some of the irony in the way Patrick sings them.

That's kind of a tangent.

Anyway, I don't actually think they dealt, lyrically or musically, with a lot of the emotions of the hiatus until AB/AP. I think they wrote SRAR almost carefully. Some of the songs in it feel almost like Patrick designed them to try to be at a remove, they feel kind of impersonal, aiming for the kind of heterosexual drama that FOB rarely hits in their songs because Pete rarely writes lyrics like that. But I think about a song like The Mighty Fall or Death Valley or Just One Yesterday or Young Volcanoes -- and there is A LOT to all of those songs, too, of course, and I love them -- but they're easy to read as just, you know, typical radio play stuff. (The notable -- REALLY notable -- SRAR exception is Miss Missing You, of course, and maybe that was as much as anyone could deal with at the time lol.)

But AB/AP, to me, is FULL of working through the hiatus baggage. There's "The Kids Aren't Alright" and there's "Fourth of July" and there's "Favorite Record" and THEN THERE'S THIS SONG. To me, this song is all about a relationship -- a partnership -- that's supposed to be perfect breaking completely to pieces right in front of you, and the way it devolves into recriminations and accusations.

The chorus, revolving around this titular room where everything went down. I read “shares our fate and deserves our pity” to imply that this room has been somehow ruined, too (sharing our fate) and that’s such a huge pity, like, this isn’t how it should have happened. There’s deep regret in this chorus: I don’t want to remember it, and what they don’t want to remember is the things the promised. The promises you make to the people you love and when it all goes to hell and you end up not keeping those promises, you don’t want to think about them.

EVERYTHING about the description of the relationship in this is some of Pete’s most vivid lyrics. This is one of those songs where every single line is absolutely crystalline. When Taylor Swift said once that she wanted “Blank Space” to be like a Fall Out Boy song where every line is a zinger, this is the song I think of, because the way this relationship is described, the way it unfurls through the song, every single line carries an entire story within it, it’s all so vivid. And the thing is, this could be read to be about sex—dull the pain, strip down to skeleton, saint swimming our sins—sure, it’s all sexy, but I don’t think any of it is actually about sex. Stripped down to our skeletons, that’s not how you have sex, that is way more revealing, way more vulnerability being shown than just taking off your clothes. It has to be read in the context of the image on their Greatest Hits compilation, those twin skeletons, dedicated to each other even in death, like, it’s just not about sex. Sure, sex can be read as sinful, but there’s a multitude of sins out there in the world for them to be swimming in. And the line that really smacks me over the head: “’til we’re twins again.” You…don’t have sex with your twin. I mean, unless we’re getting into some really weird narcissistic thing going on in this song. The twin thing is so…Patrick-coded hahaha. Because who is Patrick? The person he has twin-speak with. This whole thing is in the vein of Pete’s pining language to be honest: I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I JUST NEED A LITTLE DOSE OF YOU. I MISS HOW WE USED TO BE. I MISS WHEN WE WERE SO OURSELVES WITH EACH OTHER THAT WE WERE BASICALLY SKELETONS, THERE WAS NOTHING TO HIDE BEHIND.

But the way Patrick sings these words, the melody he gives them: It doesn’t sound pining. It sounds biting and cruel. If he sang this song in one of his piano arrangements, I bet these words would kill you with how much longing is in them. But that’s not how he sings them.

And then we get to that jet black crow, droning on and on and on, up above their heads, droning on and on and on. The way that droning line repeats, the way Patrick sings the on and on and on so that it sounds like a drone, it’s cleverly done, and the jet black crow always feels like this bad omen to me, this thing hanging over them, that they can’t escape. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE STAY HERE WITH ME, but there’s that droning of foreboding hanging over their heads. You’ve got to keep making trouble until you find what you love, he’s not done yet, he wants to keep going, he needs a partner in crime AND YOU SHRUG. I never can decide which of them is speaking there, who looked to the other for their partner and didn’t find him there, and maybe it was both of them, because they were mutual destruction, maybe that’s the point.

Then we get to the second verse, one era dying and the next being born, showing up just to fade away, calling an end to the whole thing – and hating it the whole time (“I wanna throw my hands in the air and scream”). “I can just die laughing on your spiral of shame”: the way Patrick sings that. That is another line that I’m not sure who it’s meant to be referencing, and it could just be both of them. Honestly, the cruel things you do to the people you love when there’s a jet black crow droning on and on over your heads. But you get through the wreck and you pull yourself together enough to survive, even though you’re barely holding yourself together with a string.

But. BUT. THIS BRUTAL, BRUTAL SONG that Patrick takes Pete’s lyrics and puts together here. The way he has the pining of the first verse devolve into the vicious backlash of the second verse in the wake of the indifferent and painful shrug is so good and then the narrative retreats into: Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. At the end of the song he repeats “hold on” EIGHTEEN TIMES. That’s how much he wants Pete to “hold on.” This song about the complete disintegration of this relationship ends with Patrick begging, over and over again: Hold on. Hold on. It’ll be okay. Hold on. That jet black crow drones on and on and on twelve times. Patrick asks us to hold on many more times. And he never sends droning as he does it. He packs multiple notes into the ons. The jet black crow is gone by the end of the song. I made promises. Just hold on.

[vonpharma]

w(h)ip wednesdayyyy!

hi! sorry i died last week. my blog got terminated! but now it is fixed. yippee!

here's my day 2 sicktember.

Delicately, then, Franziska does something Maya has never seen her do to anyone—she lays her palm flat, facing the sky… and presents her whip prostrate before Pearl, offering it to the little one.

For a moment, Pearl just stares at it, mystified. Unsure what she’s supposed to, allowed to do. Franziska helps her along, then, gingerly grabbing Pearl’s right hand and slipping the loose coil into her mitten.

“Aiming is one of the least trifling parts of it,” says Franziska, angling herself around so that she is now at Pearl’s back, bent at the waist. “Go ahead and grip the handle. Let the rest of it fall.”

Pearl bothers her lower lip, already chapped from the cold. “Are you sure? It’s your special thing. What if I break it?”

“I’m sure,” she says. “It’s meant to be used. Go ahead.”

Taking a deep breath, Pearl inches her buried fingers toward the thickest part of the whip, releases them from where they nervously clench the top of the coil. The leathery thing loses form, trailing like a fallen streamer down into the snow. Despite the permission granted, Pearl stares at it like she’s hurt it, somehow. Franziska takes no note, persisting—at Pearl’s backside, she slides her own hand across Pearl’s own, black leather on knit wool. 

“Place your thumb on the top, there,” Franziska instructs. Pearl follows her lead, hooking said thumb around the thing so that it nearly sticks out.

“Like this?”

“Precisely,” says Franziska, “You aim by pointing your thumb toward your target. What would you like to strike, Miss Fey?”

Pearl’s forehead scrunches up again, in that characteristic way it always did. She looks at one of the snow piles off to the side, one that Franziska had not previously decimated quite as passionately as the other sixteen. Wordlessly, Franziska follows her line of sight, angling the both of them toward it.

“That one?”

Pearl nods. There on the fringes, Maya is suddenly struck with a surprisingly rational thought—is this a good idea?

“Now, for a beginner like you, safety is paramount,” Franziska says, seeming to answer her thoughts. “The snow gear you’ve wisely chosen is perfect for that, though. Your whole body is covered, so you won’t hurt yourself. The only thing we really need to account for is…”

Franziska pauses for a moment, taking her whipless hand off Pearl’s shoulder as she seems to recall something. Deftly, she pulls a pair of big, chunky sunglasses from her jacket pocket and places them over Pearl’s eyes.

“There we go. Eye protection. Can you still see alright?”

“Yes,” Pearl says, staring straight forward. Franziska resumes her position.

“Excellent,” continues Franziska. “The second most important thing of all, little one, is follow through. With all your vulnerable zones covered like this, the whip cannot hurt you, even if you mess up. You must show no fear as you lunge. Do you think you can do that?”

For a moment, Pearl is quiet. Her eyes fall downward a bit, off of her goal. 

“I’m not sure.”

“I think you can, Miss Fey,” Franziska says at her back. “I’m right here beside you. Okay?”

Beneath her touch, Pearl tenses back up—this time with conviction that’s still finding itself. “Okay. I can do it!”

“Alright.” Franziska faces forward alongside her. “Now, you pull back first…”

Slowly. Carefully. Gently, it’s so damn endearing. Her arm alongside Pearl’s own ebbs and flows like a tide—lazily swinging in preparation, back and forth and back and forth. Pearly rocks on the balls of her feet, dancing this dance with Franziska, awkward and gangly as she towers over the little girl. The two of them throw the whip weakly a few times to get a feel for the form. Then, slowing to a halt, Franziska backs away.

“It’s all you now, Miss Fey,” she says as she’s retreating to the side. “By my count… three…”

Not quite as far as Pearl’s protective shrub, but far enough.

“Two…”

In the center of things, Pearl plants her fuzzy pink boots firmly in the snow. Her hands hold tight to the leather, cheeks puffed out and brow knit with conviction. She waits on Franziska, for the first time in her life.

“One!”

Taking a deep breath, Pearl fights the urge to slam her eyes shut, reels back one final time, and snaps her arm forward. She cracks the whip hard, and with a lot less grace and recovery than Franziska does, naturally. With how long the thing is in comparison to her tiny body, the amount of control she manages is honestly pretty impressive—this sweet young thing, decked out in pink and fluff with decorative beads in her hair, slamming the leathery thing down with careful abandon. The whole situation might have read as comical, if Maya weren’t so overtaken with boundless pride.

Imperfectly, the whip connects with the pile of snow, leaving a long indent toward the very top of it. Breathing hard, Pearl takes off Franziska’s now-crooked sunglasses and stares at that indent like it contains all the most precious wisdom in the world, her eyes growing big and bursting with starlight. The dust of those supernovas falls like the snow glittering around them to the rest of her face, upturning her lips into an open-mouthed grin.

“Miss von Karma!” Pearl says, beaming up at an equally pride-stricken Franziska. “I did it!”

“And what a masterful first hit it was!” Franziska throws out an arm, looking adorably like a baby fawn as she stumbles through the snow in heeled boots that were not at all made for the weather in question.

“Damn,” Maya finally announces her presence, “is this a good time to finally ask what on earth you two got up to while I was asleep?”

The both of them freeze in place, Pearl halfway into handing Franziska’s whip back to her. The popper shakes itself to a halting swing as it hangs, messily coiled in Pearl’s best attempt to mimic Franziska’s usual handiwork. They look like two misbehaving children as they’re caught there, and Maya briefly wonders what kind of total square they take her for.

[eluviannaa]

📜 Continued from here.

She smirked, her mouth parting as if a reply would come quickly, but then she took a breath, gathering her thoughts more carefully.

“It isn’t my trauma, per se. I have no personal stake in what Umbric’s conclave experienced. Still, I suppose it bears some relevance here.”

Her words were far from a grand confession. In truth, many saw Umbric's efforts as lacking in meaningful action—a strange contentment, a deference to yet another higher authority. Now under the Alliance’s watch.

With a detachment, she offered, “My own ritual sought to replicate the transformation at Telogrus. There are always those willing to press advantage that others allow to slip through their fingers, unrealized. Gathering an army of sorts, it is indeed wise. But philosophy alone cannot battle darkness.”

“Of course it was traumatic. Whether called to duty or simply as collateral damage, it is not an easy path, as I'm sure you've come to understand.”

“And with my agreement, I offer a curious thought.” She leaned in, her eyes sharp with focus. “These whispers, this madness—they aim to veil agency, opportunity granted by this curse. A distraction, meant to obscure what so desperately refuses to be revealed, to be wielded by the very unremarkable beings it corrupts.”

She waved a hand, “But it is personal only in that each of us who move against it must decide how to proceed. Power. Ability. Knowledge.”

She had said the words before, though felt they would find greater meaning revisited in the present.

Her tone descended upon the conclusion. “But the opportunity quickens.” The words lingered in the air before she eased back into her seat, placing the gloves gently on the table between them.

“Perhaps only hastened by forces beyond our control.” Her gaze shifted, implicating the scars that marked them both.

@nixalegos