#ahhhh it's so hard in here
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I need to be folded and put away carefully in a box like one would with a treasured blanket, or a love letter idk.
#i don't know don't ask#i'm having a Moment#ahhhh it's so hard in here#i've been wildy touch avoidant ALL my life but no I had to start getting touch starved of course#f you#send help#i was just studying and started feeling miserable and wishing to just be held#god#look#again i have avoided touch for as long as i remember#like i am the type to jump ten meters back if you get too much in my personal space#accepting hugs even on special occasions has always been a whole Thing#it just made me uncomfortable okay?#AND THEN#just before covid started i was at a bday party and i was sitting very close to a friend of mine and our thighs were kinda touching#and i was like 'oh? this feels alright? i enjoy it? and my friend is also not uncomfortable?' it was weird tto me alright#then another time we were waiting in line to pay and my bff lay her head on my shoulder and i felt like i was in heaven#then when i was at home and miserable during lockdown i had moments where i yearned to get a hug??#and once i did get an hug and almost teared up??#some time ago a coworker of mine touched my cheek and i was internally screaming??#GUYS HELP#you know i figured that getting cats might have helped and then i realized that maybe with people i'm really close to i do enjoy touch#but that doesn't fully explain the coworker thing#i also think that getting close to someone who has physical touch as a love language but being too far away to even consider hugging them#has ruined me#also because i overthink things and am afraid i would freeze when i actually get the chance to hug them etc#that's the issue also!! EVERYBODY knows i don't enjoy touch because that's how i behaved all my life and now instead this#guys life is so hard#excuse the ranting#i wanted to make all this weird evolution i have gone through with touch into something artistic but i never know how to do that
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✨⚔ The Veilguard 🛡✨
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: the Veilguard#DAtV#FanFriDAys#Neve Gallus#Bellara Lutare#Taash#Davrin#Warden Davrin#Assan#Lucanis Dellamorte#Lace Harding#Scout Lace Harding#Emmrich Volkarin#Fanart#was feeling insane last friday night and now here we are~#and of course new trailers get released and i find out I've drawn everyone's shit wrong :)))))#ahhhh well I've given it my best and i was probably gonna end up taking some liberties somewhere anywayssss#I can't WAIT to meet all of the in October i'm so excited i'm gonna be sick I'm Already Throwing Up
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I really like @theratpy‘s Dr. Zo :D I like him for normal reasons don’t even worry about it don’t read into it at all haha (Patreon)
Bonus Ratticus
#Doodles#Theratpy#Dr. Zo#Ratticus#And no one else don't worry about it#Which is to say please watch Theratpy! Such lovely stylization especially with the heartbeat animation ah#So cool how they move and the lineart moves! So cool!#I deeply enjoy how especially Zo is shaped he's incredibly pretty (this is known) lol#Incredibly predictable behaviour on my part I will not apologize I see pretty lad I draw pretty lad that's the rules#In all seriousness and not-jokes the rat style does lend really well to the Vargases..........just sayingggg lol#There'll be some in the next sketchdump ahem ahem they're pretty and cute wah!#Which I mean I'd be more than happy to tag again for credit purposes At The Least but just as well not to bother either whichever however#Just such a cuuuute and prettyyyyy style ahhhh#I enjoy very much please go enjoy also <3#The little ear flicks are probably my favourites hehe#Oh and hands lovely stuff <3 Fuzz and sharp nails! Yes! I like that very much#I tried to mostly style-match here but I can't escape my hand-habits of how I draw collars lol I don't think I quite got that#But all the same I'm still pleased! :D I enjoyed to draw and enjoyed the turnout! Hooray both#I did keep running out of room for his whiskers tho overlapping lines are hard to keep clean ahh#Especially with my love of movement lines lol everything crowded!#Still still still - pleased! Happy! Yay! :D#Good lads ♪
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Sorry if you’ve answered this before but do you have any idea of how many chapters into the fire will end up being or how the ending will pan out? (Also I love you and the world you’ve created thanks for being awesome <333)
I have answered this before, but I feel it changes day to day lol… ITF is about ummm halfway? It will absolutely be the largest fic of the three, but it has to be in order to bring this thing to a proper close. I could realistically do a fourth book but fuck it I am sticking to the original plan of three. I have the ending completely planned and most of the epilogue figured out as well… I will admit the only thing I don’t have completely planned out is the nitty-gritty details that tend to unfold as the story happens? So as the battle begins who knows how characters will react or what emotions will come up so I like to keep things loose with that to give the characters room to breathe.
But yeah! I do have an ending and I have all the MAJOR events planned, so any twists & turns along the way are already set in motion :)
(I love you thank you for sending me this ask you’re amazing)
#I wasn’t planning on doing this long of a ‘healing arc’#but honestly we worked so damn hard to get here I am really enjoying the characters interacting#Sokka was also freaking the fuck out for a while and Zuko refused to speak so now that we’re moving a LITTLE past that…#its more fun!#Like this next chapter is like… oddly wholesome?#There is laughter#& people enjoying themselves#smiling! Sun is fucking SHINING!#IT IS A DAMN GOOD DAY TO VISIT THE FUCKING MARKET#sorry i got excited haha#but yeah I’m trying not to stress about word count or making it too long or whatever because well… fanfic#this is my fic and I can do whatever I want I decided lol#not that I couldn’t before but I am trying not to stress about it haha#OK SO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY I AM EXCITED WE HAVE SOME BATTLE PREPERATIONS TO GO! AHHHH#thanks for the ask seriously you’re great#irisviews73#leaving it all behind#LIAB#ITF#ask
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igot the crysta;l wow
#(i died three rooms after. as you can tellHGSADBHGSDG)#i died to a FUCKING ANGLER AHGGHHHHHHHHHH#PLEASE#I HATE THEM SO MUCH.#THEY'RE NOT HARD TO AVOID BUT CHRIST THERES SO MANY!!!! WHY!!!#ahem.#anyway#crystal!!!!#i was so stressed ahhhh#still am but-#pressure#silly screenshots#sorry for mostly roblox stuff!!!! going insane over here hsjdghf
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hi guys have some RANDOM SOUKOKU HEADCANNONS because i’m procrastinating my holiday homework lol (like i genuinely can’t bring myself to do it so i’ll just uh, cram it all before school actually starts)
contrary to popular belief, dazai is actually the good cook between the two of them :) chuuya burned down the entire kitchen once when he tried to make rice, so dazai removed his kitchen-entering privileges. dazai can actually cook well, he just enjoys seeing the shocked/scared faces of the people he serves his food to when he makes it nasty
dazai replaced their couch with a foldable couch bed because whenever he makes chuuya mad, he gets sent to sleep on the couch, and their old one was uncomfortable and not big enough for his lanky ass legs
chuuya once thought dazai was a burglar when he was drunk and smacked him in the face with a frying pan, which broke dazai’s nose. he (chuuya) cried while apologising when he sobered up
they have movie marathon nights, except they speedrun movies separately and fight to see how many more movies they can watch than the other before the clock strikes 7:00am and dazai has to go to work
when dazai did the “that’s what i love about you!” thing to chuuya when they were younger, chuuya actually wanted to punch dazai because he was so flustered. he actually went back to his room to punch his pillow and scream into it about how much he liked dazai back and how he messed up his response
chuuya likes it when dazai drives, because it’s so adrenaline inducing and it’s funny to see the looks on civilian’s faces when they speed pass them and almost crash into the lamp post
dazai’s home wallpaper is a picture of chuuya drooling in his sleep, and chuuya’s one is of dazai screaming and running away from a dog
i feel like they would both be really good at styling hair and doing makeup from kouyou’s lessons and all the infiltration missions they have to go on... although, i can picture chuuya trying to pry a bite of lipstick out of dazai’s mouth because he read the contents and tried to commit suicide by eating it lol
they have a built in wine cellar in their house (inspo from my aunt’s house lol. she has a fucking wine cellar in there stock full of expensive alcohol and there’s even a catalogue) and it’s super super cold. they have two silly fuzzy pairs of slippers, one is crab designed and the other is slug designed lol
yes ig that’s all for now :D
#lei writes! ଘ(|lI.‸.)#i genuinely can't bring myself to do my work idk why#and exams are on the second week of the term aksjdhajdhka#and hcl oral??! :(((#ahhh this school is killing me but i don't wanna transfer#i worked so hard to get in here and i'm like#suffering more than my friends in other schools for some reason#like i get that we don't need to take o levels like the other schools but like??#why is our curriculum so fucked up??#why is our teaching system so messy??#bro the teachers aren't even actually teaching anymore tbh they just give us the work to figure out on our own#ahhhh anyways i need to get back to studying or smth#bungou stray dogs#bsd#soukoku#dazai x chuuya#dazai#chuuya
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considering faking my death to get out of this project. would still like to get a passing grade for it.
#googles how to get good grades even though you have died#ok this is about be a rant in a half and way too much info so excuse me but#ive been hyperfixating on our flag like crazy all month long#and i knew that and knew that i was going overboard#and i said all last weekend that i was feeling insane about it#but i didnt realize why until last night when i watched eps 6 & 7 and got mildly disappointed by what happened#because up until that point i was just having so much fun so that one small moment of not having fun#felt like a balloon had suddenly been popped and i was like OH FUCK! I HAVE TO DO THIS PROJECT!!!#like girl the reason we were hyperfixating that hard to such insane levels that we made a theory post about when ed and stede would fuck#was because we were avoiding doing/thinking about the project#and now ive just been sitting here still stuck and worried about this damn thing like holy shit when/how am i going to do this???#like holy shit did you know i was insane because i was stressed? i didnt!!#i have not stopped thinking about our flag all month and i just did not have time for all that!#AHHHH#anyway like......help i have to fake my death#personal
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okay i just got a fun idea for a pokemon line based on a cube mammoth post i saw but cant find now
a sort of caterpie metapod butterfree type concept except its w a fossil.
option A: the first form is an ancient looking animal, maybe its like an ancient mammal or a dinosaur, or if u wanna keep the bug concept its an ancient looking buggie. the second stage is it being fossilized, as a "chrysalis", maybe stylized a bit to go w the concept, but could be done as a nonmoving poke like metapod with a rock fossil or a bit of amber (if going bug), or maybe you could take from the la brea tar pits and have em covered in goop. then of course last form is post fossilization, break em outta there. which would either be a cool skeleton fossil, or. well im not sure where to take it w the bug. ghost bug? rock bug? fuck dunno.
option B: its just a fuckin Rock at first. then you crack it open, and look fossil! a bit more work to free the fossil and u have a ROCK TYPE fossil pokemon
...B is a lil more boring but it was the initial idea so might as well include it.
#pokemon#fakemon#...well a concept for one i. art hard.#buzzy#im imagining like a sabertooth lion line thats cute little baby!! aw no they get covered in Goop thats so sad. AHHHH SKELETON!!#maybe skeleton is on fire#i was about to say 'oh but have they done a sabertooth yet...' yes they did literally the last game it was a lengendary#well. find an ancient mammal that aint represented yet ig.#giant sloth? do we got those?#sloth would also be fun for the tar thing#like okay it was already slow as fuck but when covered in tar its like. hardly moving#i can see the pokedex entry now. 'despite the appearance of not moving at all slopitch actually moves at imperceptible speeds'#(insert pitch drop experiment reference here)#it gets slightly faster again when in skele form but its still a sloth#for some reason im imagining the tar form as like. a meditatve pose. criss cross applesauce.#anyway if any artists see this feel free to run w it#but yea basically just :) baby > OH STUCK. BABY STUCK > baby is now REALLY COOL SKELETON#ohhhh also hey. nother thing to throw in there. opalized fossils :)
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Magenta.
#there are a few things im certain about in this life#1. taxes suck#2. theres many good people bad can be relative#3. im an ancient soul and dudes i REALLY want to quit playing human on hard mode and go feral#like i did at joshua tree the san gabriel mountains and the coast#like give me 3 weeks even just on my lonesome to recalibrate before i gotta go back to being an upright ape#life feels so good when im not forced to participate in human constructs i never signed up for#or maybe i did back in the void in which case baby wtf were you thinking coming down here?#like ahhhh#existentialism can be fun
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Sword of the Wizard King - MARCH 31, 2023 coming to NETFLIX worldwide and theaters in Japan!
#HELLO PREVIOUS WIZARD KINGS AND QUEEN !!!!!!#FUEGO AND MEREO ARE IN HERE TOO HELL YEAH HELL YEAH#THEY ALL LOOK SOOO GOOOD OMG#look at baby julius qjfjqjxjaja#i wanna squish him (and lucius)#the fluffy coat comes with being the wizard king/queen lmao#im looking forward to learning more about that wizard queen there omg she's v pretty#WE'RE GETTING MAGIC KNIGHTS / CLOVER KINGDOM HISTORY !!!!#IM SO EXCITED AHHHH#anyways pls support the film if u can and watch on netflix !!#i can tell the staff worked very hard on this film!#black clover
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i might be dumb as rocks lmao
#hdhddjjss you know all the mulling and being really down made it really hard to accept to be around people#MOSTLY bc its a 'ahhhh i shouldnt bother them they have better things to deal with'#but then it went back into isolating again and 😐 sir youre not getting better by doing this#jfjdjd did i ever say? i used to invite my friends to go study together and all early on#but i stopped doing that bc i couldnt handle the idea of people dealing with me#bc of everything that happened + not wanting to have a breakdown in front of people but#oh and also a bunch of classmate drama but thats a different thing#sO it turned into 'oh wait i think people hate me'#girl you isolated YOURSELF what do YOU think is going on#tw vent#vent#anyways.#so friends kept inviting me out to study this week which made me kinda :')#like listen. nothing about being here feels real tbh. its more a dream and im just ready for it to come crashing down#but it sure is nice to still be invited out and kinda reminded people want me around anyways#regardless if i think im not worth their time and all that#i just feel bad if i start crying on the spot if i show up bc i am ! a cry baby#vent in tags#its not really a vent but meh#anyways. assurance goes a long way basically. im very bad at asking for assurance bc i dont think people should bother but#when people do these things its nice#just small gestures and all#am i romanticizing it a bit? i guess but ill just hold onto any belief for some sense of good lmao
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// i start my first college english class tomorrow....
#leave no trace ; ooc#tbd#( I'M SO NERVOUS bruh the moment i come home from my closing shift i'm going STRAIGHT to fucking SLEEP )#( i've spent over a year of my life going to bed at 5am every day and waking up in the afternoon )#( and in the past two weeks just HARD adjusted my sleep schedule to wake up in the mornings )#( cause i have to be up by AT LEAST 830am so i can have time to get ready and drive to school )#( I'M FUJKIGN SCARED I HAVEN'T BEEN TO REAL SCHOOL CLASSES IN YEARS AHHHH I'VE BEEN DOING FUCK ALL WITH MY LIFE FOR A WHILE TIL NOW )#( rocking back and forth in my seat i'm probably going to do a LOT of rambling here before i go to work EHHGHRHHGH )
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the purple kiss concert was actually just such a happy happy happy time im just so. so happy ugh i’ll miss them so bad and dosie solidified herself as my other bias tonight like wow oh my god she’s the cutest ever ever <33 and yuki was adorable as always and absolutely ireh has my heart and swan said “you’re prettier” when i said that she’s so pretty i almost died. goeun always blows me away with her vocals and chaein too like wowowowow they are so pretty so talented and sweet and i absolutely just had a night to remember for such a long long beautiful time so i’m so thankful to those girls and the happiness they just brought me !!! <333
#lmk if anywhere here likes purki and would like any pics or vids <33#ahhhh the post concert depression is probably gonna hit so hard LOLOL#cant believe i have to go to class tomorrow :’)#[ on : ria tries to be interesting %.#[ on : ria is in love %.
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Fujimoto's works are just so Umineko core. I say that about everything, but I genuinely mean it here Lol
#i love goodbye eri especially and the way it depicts grief and storytelling in such intimate ways#it really moved me the first time i read it. everything about it is just so perfect#and in regards to fire punch. it certainly has that very amateurish appeal to me. this is someone who poured their heart into their work#it took on way too much that it loses its coherency sometimes. but when it hits it hits very hard. so i appreciate it#i love stories where you can feel someones passion for what they're doing. umineko also felt something like that to me.#completely lost my point here and started rambling. but ahhhh i wish that could be me someday
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Every semester, I feel like my instant thought is always "I am dropping every class. They're all horrible." but by the end usually end up really liking it so I really just need to ignore my first impressions, but god looking at the syllabi really destroys my mental state
#yet i dont remember liking the first class i took for my one major and im not excited for it this time either 😐#even tho ive spent the most time around that prof cumulatively i still dont really think i like him all that much 😭😭😭#my department sucks because theres only 2 profs and the one sucks so bad that she has a 1 star review#and the other prof who i feel lukewarm about goes so far as to tell his students to avoid classes with her#so im really stuck between a rock and a hard place 😭😭😭#i think he just gets on my nerves too easily. and he was on the abroad trip i went on so i do feel like ive gotten closer#but like you know those people who the dynamic feels very one sided with? thats him for me. i think its just a cultural difference tho tbh#but otherwise i think my other classes will be fine :D#just feeling a bit 😧 rn bcs i have to make an introduction vid for my online class and I DONT WANNNAAAAAAAAAAA#also i miss all my profs from my prev semester :<#i think i talked about it on here but ahhhh my one linguistics prof she was so nice#but it haunts me bcs she asked if she could use one of my papers as an example paper in the future#and i was of course very honored....#BUT ALSO THE PAPER I WROTE USED F1 DRIVERS AS EXAMPLES LMAO#so im so glad that the first half of the 2023 season is now just a time capsule in that class#like literally a time capsule where you can exactly tell which era it was bcs i used Nyck as an example 🌚#well anyways wish me luck i hate starting things it's like trying to cram yourself into a new skin or something#and then when youre very pleased and comfortable with it all its then over :(#catie.rambling.txt
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Me while rereading: You should kill him
Also:
They marriages hehe ♥
#Come closer Morinaga I hold no ill will towards you lol#It's playful ribbing :) Mostly :) Lol ♪#So I may or may not have come into the ownership of the entire currently-released collection of KoiBo manga in Japanese lol#It's so nice to own ahhhh <3 <3 It's so strange to finally hold it!#Also can we talk about manga prices in Japanese vs English? I get the whole translation and publishers thing but like#581円 for one volume? That's like four dollars USD! We average $10 here! How'd that happen#I mean I still didn't pay even that much for them since they were secondhand hehe ♥#But reading them physically is such a weird experience now haha - I've spent years reading them only digitally!#Previously there was like this continuous flow from one volume into the next - no physical delineation! No hard stops!#So now re-learning where the story beats are and how that affects the timbre of storytelling - it's interesting :0#Seeing that it took three volumes - or two depending on how you count it lol - it took til the third volume anyhow#For them to start to get on the same page and actually communicate and then all the middle-amble (preamble in the middle lol)#It's interesting! It's not quite like reading it blind again - especially since I can't actually read the kanji yet lol#But it does change a bit of the feel :) I'm excited to start to be able to put events to volumes rather than chapters! :D#The little bits of English that dot around are always very charming of course haha ♪#Since they got married in the US they put English on their wedding card! That's so cute!#That is an actual picture I took while reading haha ♪#That's another thing - reading in person really lets me see the toning as intended and ahhhh it's so pretty <3#The details really pop! That aspect is like reading blind again hehe#Happy :D#Koisuru Boukun
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