#ah well. whatever happens will happen
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i think my concertino is in a really good shape and i’m quite happy with it (and the embellishments i’ve added to the variations). we’ll see how monday’s competition goes tho
#sasha speaks#oboeposting#i like my piece and it definitely shows off some skill but it is not like a Flashy/Showstopper/CompetitionWinning kind of piece#it's much more. mozart concerto than goosens or martinu#which. like. i definitely prefer it that way both as a listener and as a player#i like music that makes sense#but not knowing exactly what all the competition i'm up against is like...#well i glanced at the undergrad clarinet's piece and it is definitely going to give me a run for my money#it's like 1960s and filled with like every rhythm imaginable so#plus i know the player is really good#as happy as i am with the shape of my concertino i just don't know that the piece itself is flashy or impressive enough to win a competition#ah well. whatever happens will happen
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Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.
Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.
Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!
#if i have to see another fic or whatever that makes it seem like robin doesnt give a shit about what steve likes and talkes about im going#to scream and maybe even rampage#its nice to sit down and have someone who knows explain who the players are and what the stakes for this particular game!!#just because yall seem to not think anyone can be nutral towards sports doesnt mean people aren't#literally why is it so hard to believe robin would like to hear steve talk as much as steve likes to hear her talk#i am so close to telling some steddie shippers to not look at steve or robin or their friendship because some of yall do Not get it.#its like you can see them go 'have to make sure eddie is the most perfect specialest boy for steve...well that means robin doesn't Get Him '#or 'robin ignores him/dismisses his interests/isnt told everything happening in his life' like okay dont ever touch them again thanks#robin is steves specialest sunshine cupcake goober girl. steve is robins bestest happy times sweet funnyman. dont u dare take that away.#omce again tsgs longer than the post but ah well.#stobin#platonic stobin#robin buckley#steve harrington#stranger things#finda's rambles#steve and robin#this is a scheduled post just to jazz things up i guess#but seriously some of yall need to STOP MESSIGN WITH STOBIN
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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one thing that especially irks me about cullen's so-called redemption is the attempts to redeem him through cole's words.
templars' abuses affected cole so badly it damaged his connection to the fade and his own nature. he was a spirit of compassion and witnessing what was happening in white spire turned him into a killer. he murdered lord seeker lambert in cold blood for what he did and most of the time he doesn't regret it — and then he just. drops the "he's not like the other girls" lines about cullen.
and this is such a lazy and annoying move. another thing that is established about cole is that you particularly can't lie to him — about your real feelings and intentions at least. whatever he states about other characters must be true and it is often used as a tool to deepen the characterizations of the main cast and in cullen's case it is just. blatant apologism. there's literally a banter where cole talks about atrocities commited by the templars and then he adds "oh no but cassandra and cullen aren't like that" and never elaborates. the game itself doesn't elaborate either.
like please don't tell me that the spirit who was shaken by knowledge that an innocent boy can die from starving because his jailors simply forgot about him would look in the eyes of a person who used to be meredith fucking stannard's right hand and still thinks that her methods were just a little too harsh but necessary and justified and say yeah. this guy is such a friend of mages. if only there were more templars like him
#this is such an overt bullshit like i don't even know where to start#and my main problem is that. i don't care about cullen. his redemption arc sucks because it's non-existent. but i do care about cole#and i love his cryptic comments so much because they really give you a look into character's head in a weird but interesting manner#and then. this happens. and you can say that “oh but it means that cullen's REAL attitude is compassionate towards mages!”#but the thing about cole's comments is. he does expose characters' thoughts#but you've already had an opportunity to catch whatever cole makes clear in these banters#like. vivienne is afraid and it is shown in the game. dorian struggles with attachment and it is shown in the game#cullen struggles with whatever he's done to mages and ?????? ah yes#and i'm just. so mad. because i love what cole adds to the storytelling. and there's so much potential but he's used for apologism#because whoever wrote cullen was too lazy and/or preoccupied with making a knight in shining armor out of him#you can also point out that cole is used for solas apologism as well. but in solas' case you can catch that he feels conflicted#about his actions and goals. so yeah. it works. at least partially. so my point stays.#cullen's case is like. by the book example of horrendous breaking of 'show don't tell' rule#practically cole breaks this rule constantly. but as i said it doesn't feel off with other characters because of what has been shown alread#cullen critical#dragon age
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from this post by @caligulas--aquarium
(if she keeps this up, she might even get a real desk!)
#portia elizabeth harper#adamandi#fun fact: this is saved on my laptop as re-portia harper. like the awful pun it is#we never do see sophie. so she never appears.#ok i would write stuff but i am Tired you can all conclude yourselves#and also idk how it evolved into whatever this is it was supposed to only be a haha funny thing#i have drawn so many portia harpers she never stays consistent... ah well#the reinterpretation of the lines happens most strongly in the vincent and bea portion#never thought he'd do it -> he as in ambrose /// could help them more -> them as in beatrix#so as to politely go with canon portia's knowledge#i'm back!! a bit. briefly. running on maybe a bit too much caffeine. i think somewhere subconsciously i might have characterised portia#as a bit awkward. trying to do her best. maybe crumbling under the Ardess pressure but still optimistic under it all#idk!! i think there's something very earnest about her and i love her for that#shoutout also to the newspaper in pg 1 that says (am and the bros)... laughed at that one
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My creative process in a nutshell
#it's funny because the comic progressively getting messier happened fully organically#as I got bored of this drawing I stopped trying to make it look neat#which ended up kinda proving my point tbh#art#my art#art struggles#relatable#or at least I think it's relatable? idk#ah well#the gremlin that lives in my brain is running in circles screaming#and painting on the walls of my brain instead of the nice canvas I laid out for it#ignore me I need to go to bed before I start writing bad poetry#(or whatever you would call this)#If you're still reading this for whatever reason I would like to say#May your idea factory operate at a reasonable pace and may you actually finish all your WIPs😌
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[yoojin voice] i'm not suicidal BUT HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING if a situation arises that requires me being dead i'm not gonna dump that responsibility on someone else do i look like that much of an asshole to you
#star.txt#tllb#nsglb#my sranks spoilers#maybe seeking out the alternate version of you that might exist just to kill him isn't the healthiest thing to do. just saying yoojin-ah.#webtoon made him explicitly suicidal right before the lauchitas got yh but i think whatever's happening in the novel is more interesting#yj voice im not suicidal but if the opportunity arises to kill myself without abandoning my kids.... Well............. enticing innit......
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You know I do feel like I talk and speculate about Crocodile's goals and the Cross Guild plotline a lot more than I should
But then again, last we heard of that plotline was in chapter 1082, which released in fucking May of 2023. Nearly HALF of the 21 chapters that have released since have been exclusively dedicated to a flashback that has not moved the plot forward one bit either, meaning we're not even CLOSE to getting to a break in the story where we can cut back to Cross Guild either to see what's happening
So perhaps my derangment is a bit more justified than I gave myself credit for. IT'S BEEN OVER NINE MONTHS SO FAR AND IT'S GONNA BE A FEW MORE STILL
#Moon posting#OP Meta#OP Spoilers#I mean not really but vague enough spoilies I felt I might as well tag 'em. The non-manga readers ain't gonna be ready for The Flashback#Also to be fair I also Became Insane About Crocodile in like September so it's barely been 5 months of me actually getting invested#But yes. Ah. The pain of not knowing when The Husband will return from the war#I mean I'm assuming we're now going to watch Egghead wrap up nicely and then cut to whatever the fuck happened with Buggy's mutiny#So I'm making my questimate of 8-16 chapters until we see Cross Guild again#If Oda can do 3 chapters per month that's like. March at earliest. I'm in pain y'all#I just want to see my husband
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I want to grab your tiny face in my hands, look you in the eyes, and say I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER, LET ME CARE ABOUT YOU ON PURPOSE
but instead, this is the internet and there is no eye contact, so I am just going to be weird about it and make you go away forever
#people like me more when i interact with them in person#i striggle trying to figure out like what I should say and what I shouldnt say to people online#its very easy for me to put people off wanting to talk to me#i genuinely dont mean to come off so strong online#it happens so much that i KNOW it has something im doing but I cant seem to stop doing whatever it is 😭#in person people tend to come on strong to ME cause i guess me being relaxed and direct and honest is like a breath of fresh air for people#but online most people talk to me a little then vacate the premises asap#ah well#thanks to those that have stuck around#yall the true heroes
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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one
#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin#which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things#i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after#n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them#and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too#it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal#bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens#which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly#urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts#pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that#but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing#after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth#and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens#this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby#.diaries
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tour blurb
I can't say anything BC it's the same (almost) unit of measurement that I apply when I go to concerts.
Smsmksksa (not so much) joking aside, the mic unit of measurement is the most useful and obvious for the concert donut. I know they updated the number and positions of the mics,, so I am now kind of curious of the ratio drum riser/mics on the stage. Like there are 4 battle station on the donut, how many mics between every drum kit? This is a math problem due to monday
*coff* that said did they discussed it in tuning rooms etc bc lars asked James to stay in his line of site for the most of it?
But like, of course for stages like the one in Milan, it wasn't like that, even if it was smaller
#my sister at my first tallica concert: okay. we're do you wanna go? i swear i will get you there#me instantly: in front of the drums#and that has been my concert MO ever since sksksksksksks#and yeah. i am what i am of course i wanna see lars first and back then he was mostly in a static position#BUT!!!!!#i fucking know this band dynamics. like. in milan last month i was on the left side of the stage and i was great!!!#I'll start the concert with lars and rob!#and that's exactly what happened#to say. my dear duders. if you see the drummer? you're FOR SURE gonna see the rest of them one way or another#bc that's the eye of the cyclone babey! they will always end up... there (quote). they will inevitably circle back there#AND. ALSO. as you all know im a big fan of when they all four play close close together and all the little interactions the positions etc#if you cant see the drum riser... well you'll only get max 3. so.#but yeah snsksksksk i have a fucking lars blog since 2020. no shit i want to see him#*coff* that said#*coff* that said did they discussed it in tuning rooms etc bc lars asked James to stay in his line of site for the most of it?#or was it just spontaneous?#ask#the-mighty-het-speaks#ah. soph! say ty to your friend i love these reports from the front!!#jh and lu#jinn out#if this post doesnt have an ounce of sense or purpose or thesis or whatever... yeah probably snsnsjs i am tired so my thoughts are jumbled#.... is that the right word? well you get it *move hands*#thank you soph for sharing bc this is EXACTLY my kind of thing *grabby hands*
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the only explanation i can come up with for why ed is wearing leather in episode 6 is so that there can be a joke about how much work it is for stede to get him out of it
#that's all i got boys#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2#edward teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#like i think wall slam is a callback to ''run me through'' in that ed goads stede into doing something and stede's like lol ok#and shoves him into the wall at which point ed is like ah. well this is simply the hottest thing to ever happen to me#and kisses stede in earnest#and then its on and ed's like untying the strings on his shirt and stede's like pulling on whatever he can but none of it budges#and he's like ''ed your clothes are sexy but what the hell'' lol
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the first sex scene with fane is so much funnier as an undead instead of him feeling weird about that thing the godwoken does with their tongue he feels weird about what the godwoken did with their tibia
#divinity original sin 2#the game sometimes misses out on remembering your character is undead#and treats it like you've got a regular character#but sometimes its fucking gold mines like these moments#ah the yuthul gor split its one of your inventive tricks#it probably sounded horrific just two skeletons uh......boning#for lack of a better word tbh#so disappointed i let fane down this was for science#well multiple tests must happen of course that's how it works for scientific results#wait until he finds out what the godwoken can do with her cervical#like shucking an oyster never fails to crack me up#im getting very mixed messages from fane#he doesn't have the desire to touch you or even talk to you#but suggest a mating ritual and he's all too eager#ifan and the red prince just standing there like fine whatever#its rivellon anything goes#i absolutely have to play as fane next time just to see what happens
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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ok well I ran out of spoons to fold laundry so I guess that's getting added to the Tuesday Task List 😩 but at least I got everything else done that I needed to
#clearing off my bookshelf was honestly more important than the laundry cause now i can Remove the old shelf#which is allegedly happening tomorrow after my 10hr shift ugh. but whatever I'll be glad when it's over#i love this condo but sometimes it's Not Great to live in a 4th floor walkup lol#i uhhhh don't know how I'm gonna get anything done on tuesday tbh#i think maybe i need to assume I'm doing nothing except psych appt + going to the pharmacy that day...#tho i won't have time/spoons to fold laundry on wed either bc of class...ah well I'll figure something out#maybe I'll magically become abled tomorrow!!!!
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finished playing the coffin of andy and leyley and gonna throw out my theory that i'm sure other people have already thought of
i think that the parasite emergency is just a front and that the government is actually wanting to starve out and sell the blood and organs of "undesirable" people en masse, not sure why they're targetting AB-types specifically rather than say O-types considering AB blood is the universal receiver while O blood is the universal donator but it'll probs be answered when the full game comes out...whenever that is
as for why i think that they're several apartments worth of "undesirables" is mainly because all the people that have been shown so far are, as few as they are, aren't really the types that are "acceptable" in society:
ashley seems to have ASPD or at the very least something similar, has repeatedly been described as being someone who other people find annoying, and is highly codependent with her brother to the point of (technically just being an accessory to) murder and possibly even to the point of covert and/or overt incest
andrew has PTSD (that he seems? to hide relatively well) in addition to his codependence (even if it's not as prominent as ashley's, except in extreme circumstances such as when she's in danger...or when she mentions sleeping with another man lol) and while he's charming enough to have a gf that doesn't really matter when ashley harasses them
the cultist is...well, a cultist (it's clearly something he was interested in long before the quarantine judging by the front door sigils and the fact he has all the materials ready) also maybe it's just the desperation but the fact that he apparently has no problem blasting his loudass music may indicate traits that have lead to people casually wishing his death
the girl from 302, a hardcore hikkikomori and while her beauty may make her a bit more appealing that doesn't change the fact that she's functionally agoraphobic and doesn't want to provide for herself
ahley and andrew's parents are clearly pretty neglectful but the timing is just. a little too convenient y'know? like I'm pretty sure they knew this was happening, and the fact they were so ready to get a new apartment as well like we don't really know when in the timeline that happened but the fact that they're just so ready to move on like that is so suspicious
idk how the lady who got in an ambulance fits into all this though, there's just far too little information about what happened to her for me to say -- i don't think she's getting her organs harvested though, the ambulance wouldn't be in such a hurry if she was
now it is possible that the parasite problem is real and the infected apartment are just really unlucky or really neglected by the government, however, with the whole selling organs thing it just doesn't seem all that likely to me considering yknow nobody wants infected organs
a possibility is that the government is starving the apartment dwellers for the purpose of inducing starvation ketoacidosis which may kill the parasites somehow??? before they harvest the organs, not sure why the blood type would matter though if that were the case
now, since demons do exist in this world, it could (and most likely) be some other secret third thing but with all the information we have right now this is all i can really come up with
#murder cw#incest cw#it's been a while i've forgotten my tags#ah well i'll just make new ones#gamering#not including the whole murder and cannibalism thing considering it happened After the quarantine#also nobody found out andy and leyley murdering the asthmatic girl so not counting that either#also also andrew Might have a not-so-prominent lack of empathy??? not sure tho#like not a complete lack just less than what is expected#gonna have to replay tho cause it could just be him not wanting to deal with the consequences of his and ashley's actions lol#the reason why i thought that is purely cause of the phone conversation and general VibesTM which. is very flimsy evidence lol#also shout out to past me for trying so very hard to headcanon andrew having ASPD so he can match with ashley but i just. cant.#he gives me way too much ''could've been neurotypical if it weren't for. the horrors'' vibes#that Could just be cause we don't get to see his pov though#like he Could just be a Really heavy masker#or whatever that ''not quite lying but not quite telling the truth'' thing is called#meta#the coffin of andy and leyley
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