#ah well. maybe i'll come around to it some day.

[stolligaseptember]

sonboy :')))

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die

He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.

And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.

Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.

What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.

So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.

The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.

A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.

That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.

"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"

And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."

"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"

Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.

Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.

[storiesfromafan]

Catching Feelings - Mattheo x Reader

A/N: not sure how I feel about this one, but I decided to post it anyways haha.

Prompt: “What part of I want you, and only you, do you not understand?” “And what part of why would you? Don’t you not understand?”

It had started out a casual hook up. Snog in a deserted hallway. Some over the clothing petting in the dungeons. Sneaking around in the Astronomy Tower for some no pants fun. It was great for you and Mattheo. The thrills and fun without the attachments a relationship entailed.

Well it had been great. Until Mattheo started to act weird, both with his words and wanting more time with you. Even when no pants time seemed to take a while to get too. He would make small talk, while you were the one to undo his tie and unbutton his shirt. And when he grasped your hands, halting what you were wanting to get too. That was it.

“Forget it" you sighed in frustration, grabbing your discarded cardigan before taking off back to the Slytherin common room.

He called out to stop you, tried to persuade you to stay. But it was no use, you were gone. And Mattheo sat there frustrated in more ways than one. For he physically wanted you, the evidence in his pants making it obvious. But he was also emotionally attached to you. Wanting to be around you, talk to you, hold you, kiss you. The guy was enthralled with you, bewitched mind and body. He wasn't quiet at soul, but part of him thought you were kindred spirits.

The following few days you avoided him. Keeping to yourself and always with a friend. And that was pissing Mattheo off. No to mention having this time to think clearly, Mattheo realised that what had been fun, looks to have turned into him liking you. And he now wasn't just mad with you, but also himself. For Mattheo Riddle doesn't catch feelings. He isn't meant to be a one girl kind of guy. Yet, he was willing to try it with you.

Getting a chance, though a sliver of one, you had just walked out of the female's lavatory. Grabbing your arm, Mattheo dragged you into a deserted hall, away from anyone or any noise. Once it sunk in to who had grabbed you, you yanked your arm from their hold.

“What the Hell Mattheo!?” You whispered yelled, glaring daggers at the male before you.

The male in questioned, did his best to look unfazed. Yet wondered if you had felt the sweat on his hands, or hear how his heart was racing. Could you see through his act? For he felt there were chips in the mask on his face.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He asked with as flat a voice he could.

You looked at him for a moment, before sighing and crossing your arms over your chest. “Really? This is why you kidnapped me".

“I didn't kidnap you. I dragged you. You're free to leave anytime" he retorted with a soft glare.

“Fine" was all you said, moving to walk back the way you had come.

With two steps Mattheo moved to block you. Sputtering out a bunch of words that even he didn’t understand. But after he took a second to un-jumble his thoughts. Mattheo explained that he had only wanted to talk, and give him five minutes. You mulled it out before saying, alright I'll give you five minutes.

“Why have you been avoiding me (Y/N/N)? I waited in the Astronomy Tower the other night, but you didn't show up...” the last part came out a little whiny, which made Mattheo cringe.

Again you sighed. “I don't know...maybe I thought you'd want to talk" you replied dropping your bag on a bench, looking over the bust of some old witch.

“What's so wrong with talking...?” Mattheo asked quietly.

You shot him a are you serious look. “I thought this" – you gestured between you both – “was casual. In other words, no talking or attachment".

Mattheo straightened up, “well...ah, yeah?”

“Really?” You stared him down, not buying his words.

Mattheo sighed. He couldn't deny it further, could he?

“Look Mattheo, it's best we end it here. Cut our losses, yeah?” You finally said, voice void of emotion.

You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You walked past him and patted him on the back. Sharing some last parting words with the Slytherin male. When you were done, and no response from Mattheo, you began to head back to the populated halls.

As if being struck by lightening, Mattheo shot around, eyes wide watching your retreating form. “I like you!” He blurted out.

You paused, about to round the corner. You stood there for a minute, which had Mattheo thinking you may not have heard him. Finally you slowly turned around, eyes drawn together in confusion. Slowly you moved back to him, yet kept some distance between you both.

“Come again?” You finally croaked out.

Mattheo fidgeted from foot too foot, gaze looking anywhere but at you. He felt like a child that was in trouble. “I said...I like you...”

Slowly you nodded. “That's what I thought you said", you paused for a moment to think over your next lot of words carefully. “Look, Mattheo...I'm not the girl for you. I am uncaring, mouthy and too smart for the good of anyone”.

“That's fine with me" he replied quickly, staring you in the eyes.

You sighed. “Why would you? You can do better then me".

And with that you turned and began to walk off once more. Again Mattheo called out to you, sputtering out for you to stop or wait, and other things. But this time you didn't let up. Which lead to Mattheo being hot on your heels. Thankfully no students were around, but you could hear them in the distance.

“What part of I want you, and only you, do you not understand?” Mattheo called, anger rising when his attempts to get you to talk to him failed.

Finally you stopped, turning around to glare at the male. “And what part of why would you? Don’t you not understand?” was your retort.

The sound that came out of Mattheo's mouth was a cross between a cry of frustration and anguish of pain. Gripping his hair, he noted how you were so frustrating. Why wouldn’t you want him? Was there someone else you wanted to be with? If so, who, so he could take care of them. Was he ugly? Both physically and personality wise? His mind was swimming with questions.

“Mattheo...” you said softly, grabbing his attention. “This, you and me wouldn't work. And you know that. We're too different. Let's just...let it be".

When you got no response from Mattheo, you took that as your cue to leave. And off you went. While Mattheo stood there. Crushed, but determined. Determined to win you over. He believe part of you had to feel the same, or partially at least. Maybe you were scared, he liked to tell himself. Yes, that's what he was going with. And he would get you. No matter what or the cost.

[hsr-writing]

kinktober - day twenty - aphrodisiacs

dr ratio x reader, nsfw, minors dni.

"Just to be clear, are we doing this for fun, or is this an actual experiment you're working on," you ask lazily as you watch Ratio carefully measure the liquid aphrodisiac into two mugs of tea.

"Because if we're both taking it, notes are probably gonna be.... hard."

You leer at him as you make the pun, and he rolls his eyes hard. You can see the small smile tugging at his lips, though, so you're calling that a win.

"You'll drink it first, and I'll note the progress of how it effects you. If all goes well, I'll join you."

He's using his professor voice, that one that comes out whenever he meets someone who actually listens and enjoys it when he ends up info dumping. He's excited about this, and it's endearing as hell.

You slowly pad across the kitchen to where he stands, making sure he's not measuring anything before you lean against his back, wrapping your arms around his waist.

"You should record us," you tell him, smiling when you feel his movements stutter. "You know. For science."

He actually snorts, his voice deadpan as he snarks back. "Ah yes, for science. No other reason." He pauses, tilting his head slightly as he watches the mugs for some kind of reaction. "It's a good idea. Go set it up."

You grin, perking up at the approval despite yourself. Time to go find that fancy camera you bought on Penacony.

------

It burns.

You thought, because of it's nature as an aphrodisiac, it would start slow. Maybe creep into a heat. But this? Fuck. It's like standing too close to a fire, like skin raw and blistering, like breathing being hard because of the heat.

There's a hand on your back, blessedly cool, and then Veritas is lifting your head up with a hand under your chin. You make a helpless, pained sound as you lean into him, into the cold. Everything hurts, until it doesn't.

All at once, the heat and pain vanishes, leaving you a panting mess in Ratio's arms. He pushes your sweaty hair out of your eyes, checking yours with visible concern.

"Zero out of ten, can't recommend so far," you rasp, trailing off into a small giggle. Ratio rolls his eyes, but you can feel the way his body finally relaxes. For a man who wears masks (the literal plaster head, the metaphorical professor) he wears his emotions on his sleeve. Relief pours off of him, and you bask in it.

"You were in pain," he states, his brows furrowed as he examines you. "That... was not supposed to happen."

You laugh, falling forward and resting your forehead against his shoulder. He lets you rest, wrapping one arm around you while he uses his free hand to write. Such a nerd. You adore him.

You're starting to feel warm again, but it's a good warm. Napping in the sun and listening to Veritas record lectures, indulging in hot chocolate on a cold day, a purring cat sleeping in your arms.

You barely notice that you've pressed your face against his neck, inhaling his scent and absently rocking your hips. You feel him pause, then his fingers are in your hair and you melt.

"Seem like it worked after all," he murmurs, pulling you fully into his lap. You shudder at the touch, sighing softly at the pleasant tingles it sends up your spine. His hand is on your cheek again, pulling your head up to let him examine you with a small frown.

You pout at his frown, clumsily leaning up to kiss him. He huffs a little at being interrupted but kisses back all the same. His hand slides into your hair and you shudder again. Your cheeks are flushed hot and you squirm in his lap until you can straddle him.

"This is an abnormal reaction," he murmurs against your jaw, his hands settling on your hips. You give him a lazy hum in acknowledgement, nuzzling into his neck.

"How d'you know?" You mumble, distracted by mouthing at his skin. He huffs again, tugging gently at your hair.

"...I read the test notes," he admits. Then, after a beat, "...And the reviews."

You laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling back so you can kiss him. He hums into the kiss, making you smile and catch his lip between your teeth as you pull away.

"My tongue kinda tingles, so maybe an allergic reaction," you offer, and he reaches over to his notebook to make a note of that. "Are you gonna drink yours?"

"Maybe," he hums, experimentally grinding his hips up against yours and raising an eyebrow when you squeak and melt. He slips his hands under your shirt and you gasp at the sensitivity of your skin.

His eyes glint with interest, his hands wandering up to thumb over your nipples, and you jolt in his lap with a needy moan. You both pause, processing the reaction, and then Ratio's gaze turns hungry.

------

You can't think.

You sob as Ratio circles your clit mercilessly, working you quickly towards yet another orgasm. You've lost count of how many it's been, the pleasure blending together.

Behind you, Ratio grunts as he ruts into you, long having taken his portion of the aphrodisiac. Your elbows gave out what feels like ages ago, your face presses into the sheets as your boyfriend holds up your hips.

You're nearly dizzy with how flushed you feel, your face so hot it burns, your grip on the sheets weak. All you can do is moan and whimper, sobbing Ratio's name as he forces another orgasm from you.

Cum drips down your thighs, his and yours mixing into a lewd mess, and your pussy is sore and swollen, but you can't stop. You need it, need more. You don't know how many times he's come inside you, thoughts of your birth control far away, all you can think of being how your boyfriend is breeding you.

Your eyes flutter, and then you're waking up on your back, Ratio mouthing at your neck, licking and biting marks where everyone can see them. He's not moving inside you, his cock so deep inside you that you could swear you feel him in your cervix.

You whine wordlessly, turning your head to silently beg for a kiss. Ratio meets you halfway there, practically devouring you between moans. His fingers find your clit again and your vision goes black as your eyes roll.

You wake up lying on your side, Ratio curled around you from behind. His face is pressed against your neck, just breathing in your scent, as he slowly rocks into you. You whine weakly, a wave of pleasure washing over you and sending your eyes fluttering shut.

When you wake up again, your body hurts. You're sore all over, but you're clean, and the sheets you're laying in are clean too. Veritas lays next to you in the bed, just far enough to give you space, writing in a notebook.

He's nude, and absolutely covered in marks. You imagine you don't look much better, though, and when you glance down under the sheets your thighs are covered in bites and finger shaped bruises. It's satisfying as hell, and you can't help but preen a little.

Veritas looks over and you give him a tired smile. He tilts his head and you reach out, making a grabby hand and feeling victorious as he laughs and moves over to kiss you.

"So," you begin, relaxing into the sheets. "I'm not sure about taking it myself again, but as far as allergic reactions go, this one was pretty fun."

Veritas laughs, dropping on top of you and laying there like a weighted blanket. After a moment or two, he murmurs, "I don't want to see you in pain again, but... I'd take it myself, again."

You hum, pleased, and reach up to run your fingers through his hair.

"Next time, then."

[mondaymelon]

— "𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲, 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱!!" ♥

:feat~ xiao, kazuha, heizou, scaramouche x gn!reader:

⤷ synopsis: ah, poor reader's crush won't notice them!! the solution? ask your guy friend to pretend to be your partner, and perhaps that'll get them jealous... except-!? ⤷ cw: fluff, highschool!au, possesive + overprotectiveness, ykyk the whole package

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123

"C'mon, just for one week...?"

"Have you finally gone mad?"

XIAO's words come out as more of a scoff, if anything. You can see the way that his expression forms a scowl that he's less than pleased at your suggestion. "You want me to fake date you for a week?"

Sheepish, you nod. "...Please?"

"Because you want your 'crush' to get jealous?" You don't get why he's put that in quotations, but you nod along, slightly confused. Xiao's expression only darkens, for some inexplicable reason. What, have you done something to offend him?

Desperate, you recall your last resort. "Well," you begin, voice unsteady as you try to sound as nonchalant as possible. With a shrug, you sigh. "If you're not willing, I can always find someone e-"

"I'll do it."

Ah, there was the Xiao you knew. Aloof, yes. Cold, yes. But not willing to admit he was inferior to anyone - especially when it regarded you.

So there, your plan was complete. Act like Xiao was your boyfriend, and then maybe they would finally notice you… except, why do you get the feeling that Xiao was forgetting his purpose?

It’s not anything major, not by a long shot, but you find it strange how he’s suddenly grown so clingy, as if pretending to be your partner somehow enhanced the relationship between the two of you. He walks you to every one of your classes, and insists on coming over to your house for study sessions, and while you don’t particularly dislike it, it is awkward, seeing him act so intimate even with no eyes watching.

But… this was all normal, right? He was just normalizing himself with his role, so there was nothing to concern yourself over. That’s what you chided to yourself whenever these moments occurred again and again, until one day, you accidentally brush hands with the male while trying to pass him some papers, and he practically jumps away from your touch. He doesn’t apologize afterwards, but you can see how he’s more cautious around you, sometimes catching his gaze lingering on you for far too long while a sheepish red creeps over his cheeks… and the way he glances at his own hand so gingerly is something peculiar all together.

However, none of that prepared you when the next week, the last day of the promised agreement, Xiao asks to talk to you. Alone.

“Xiao, what’s up?” He hasn’t spoken yet, and the silence is suffocating.

“Can we… not pretend any longer?”

And for a moment, everything seems to stop. Time itself halts as the only thing you can hear is your own shallow inhale and exhale. His voice cuts through the moment. “I’m tired of pretending, wanting something that isn’t mine. Something that I can never have.”

“Something… that can never be yours…?” It’s hard to speak, like something is in your throat, but you manage to.

“Yes. You.”

Ah, how could you not return his words when he gazes into your eyes with such adoration?

“...Xiao, it’s not entirely impossible.”

And the words that come out of your mouth aren’t lies, because you’ve felt the butterflies too. You wouldn’t think, a week prior, that you would’ve fallen for someone as distant as him, but the way he treated you so gently swayed your resolve. In a way, this outcome was inevitable.

Ha, but to think that Xiao, born from one of Liyue’s elite families, would confess to you like this, with such a flustered expression, eyes clouded with love? 

“Ah… then, if that’s the case, you’ll allow me this, won’t you?” 

There’s a hint of something strange in his tone, yet it’s left undeciphered as the male swiftly leans forward, one hand making its way behind you and keeping you steady as his lips meet yours. He’s pressed against you, close enough that you can feel his own heartbeats along yours, beating just as quickly. When he pulls away, one shaky hand manages to grab yours, grasp surprisingly strong.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll have to kiss you again.” ♥

"...Ah? Sorry, I think I heard something different. Could you repeat that?"

You don't think KAZUHA has ever looked more perplexed as he stares at you, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar as he tries his best to process your words. "So you..." His voice cracks, and he coughs into his fist. "You want me to be your fake boyfriend?"

"Just for one week..." You nod at his words, feeling a little awkward at your request. It wasn't too outlandish, was it? From the way Kazuha seems completely frozen, one would assume so... but it was a simple plan, even if it didn't work, it was worth trying, right?

It takes the white haired male a whole ten seconds to respond, which is already unusual in and of itself. He nods hesitantly, “I…I suppose I could.”

It surprises you how good of an actor he is, holding your hand without a second thought, inviting you out after school, waiting for you to pack up after classes and always following you to your next… sometimes you wonder if it’s even an act at all.

His touch seems too sincere, gaze too warm… and by the third day, your crush fades. Is it too hopeful to wish for something more in your relationship with Kazuha? Was it really so shameful? He treated you too tenderly to ignore, even if it was all just pretend… you wanted it to be real.

And maybe such thoughts were given an answer when, on a whim of carelessness, a small, folded up piece of paper fell from the male’s pocket as he waved goodbye, walking out of the classroom. Curious, you retrieved the paper, figuring you could give it back to him later… but you couldn’t resist just one peek. If it was really that private, he would’ve taken greater measures in ensuring its safety, wouldn’t he?

Ah, but what was written on the paper…well, to put it simply…

It was a poem, addressed to you. Professing his love, his adoration, his infatuation.

Words you were not meant to see, but ones you witnessed.

And when he comes to pick you up after class, wearing his usual serene smile, it’s almost as if you’re seeing him for the first time.

His crimson eyes seem to glitter when he spots you amongst the crowd, his entire expression brightening as he excitedly half-runs over with a slight flush on his cheeks. “There you are!” And just like always, he latches his hand upon yours, his grip comfortably tight.

Have his hands always been so warm?

“Dove, is something wrong?” The look of concern in his eyes is almost overwhelming. Something that can’t all just be a farce.

“Sorry.” Then, amidst the bustling crowd, you lean forward and give him a light peck on the cheek, pulling away as you watch his features grow slack with shock, cheeks reddening as he lightly squeezes your hand.

“W- Oh, does this mean…” His voice has gained a hopeful edge as a smile graces his lips. “C’mon dove, you missed. Here, let me show you how…”

And then he embraces you tightly, and you can feel his bashful warmth spreading into your body as his soft lips meet yours in the mere span of seconds, engulfing you with a sense of affection that you had never felt before.

“K-Kazuha… I…” It’s hard to get words out, with how loud your heart is beating in your ears - but there’s no need to, as the male shushes you with a smile playing on his lips.

“There’s no need to explain, I already understand. Besides, I was getting tired of playing pretend all the same.” ♥

"Haha, never expected to hear those words from you..."

HEIZOU looks rather calm, which is odd, about the entire situation, laughing quietly to himself before turning to you with a rather smug expression. "What, you want me to be your 'boyfriend' for a week?"

"Mhm..." You do suppose he's likely heard of stranger requests before, given the part-time detective work he does.

"Hmm..." Even though it seems like he's already made up his mind, he still playfully puffs out his cheeks, squinting his eyes at the distance as if that'll help his decision making skills in any way. "What'd I get in return, though?"

"...Eh? Uhm..." While Heizou was one of the more eccentric people you were acquainted with, you hadn't expected that he'd ask for something in return. "...A kiss?"

You were joking, but somehow, that made the male perk up. "Sure, sounds like a fair trade to me."

Well… if he was satisfied, then all was fine, right?

Except, with the promise of a kiss in tow, why does he seem so much more… full of vigor? That wasn’t natural, was it?

It’s easy to dismiss things you don’t see, but not when it’s clearly witnessed. Every little action he did, accompanied with a smirk, would be followed with a smug little something along the lines of, “I can’t wait for the kiss,” or “Your kiss will make this all worth it~!” And even whenever he loosely held your hand, he would glance at you and make a puckering motion with his lips.

At that point, calling his actions “normal” would just be lying to yourself.

“So, how’d it go?” Heizou glances up at you with tentative emerald eyes as you near him, something in his gaze that you can’t quite describe.

“All they said was ‘congrats on finding a partner.’” You sigh, slumping as you stand next to him, sliding down the wall before sitting on the floor, knees hugged to your chest. “I think they're dating someone else… ah, how could this be? I’ve had a crush on them for years, yet…”  Another long sigh escapes your lips.

At the edge of your vision, you can see a certain male staring at you with a faint smile on his face, growing subtly wider with each word that leaves your mouth.

“Heh, seems like my love has run fresh out of fortune~!” His voice lilts, and you can hear the smirk residing in hsi tone as you flinch at the use of a petname. “Aw, it’s really too bad, isn’t it…” He’d almost look convincing if he wiped the jeering grin off his face.

“What are you…” Your voice trails off as Heizou sits on the ground next to you, mimicking your posture while placing his hand over yours.

“You promised me a kiss, didn’t you?”

Curses. That, you did.

“...Ah, were you serious about that?” You laugh awkwardly, but his expression doesn’t change.

“Were you not?” He counters instantaneously, his smug expression not budging an inch. “I never knew you were so unfaithful in keeping promises… I can’t help but feel disappointed.”

Then he pouts, eyes glimmering as he gives you the puppy eyes, albeit a little cursed. And just like that, you can feel your resolve shatter, crumpling like a piece of wet paper mache. An odd metaphor, but it seemed to fit the current predicament. With a groan of… embarrassment? Exasperation? You finally agree, grumbling, “Ah, let’s just get this over with.”

“Ready when you are~!”

Awkwardly… hesitantly, you lean forward, give him a light peck on the cheek, and retract as fast as humanly possible. Heizou only laughs at your antics, “You call that a kiss?”

“What, do you have any complaints?” You can’t help the snarky edge that makes its way into your voice.

“Perhaps a few.” The male smirks, scooching closer to you so that the two of you are uncomfortably close. “Why don���t I show you what a true kiss looks like?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer, he doesn’t have to - he just swiftly moves in, one hand on your chin as he moves your mouth onto his. You can feel the sneer against your lips as he engulfs you into one kiss, then another. It seems like an eternity before he pulls away, and when he does, your left panting, face flushed with red. 

“Hah… I-” Archons, why did he look so handsome right now? With his slightly dishiveled burgundy hair that framed his face so immaculately, the way his spring eyes glimmered with the slightest hint of mischief, and the way the corners of his mouth turned upwards with a satisfied air.

“No need to thank me for my services, but if you’d like to repay me…” He recovers quicker than you do, his smile not flickering from his face, not even once. 

“Why don’t you repay me with a date?” ♥

"Hahaha- oh. Wait, you aren't joking? Ugh, who do you take me for?"

The instant SCARAMOUCHE realizes you aren't jesting, his smile drops, and it's replaced with a look of absolute denial... or maybe it's repulsion?

Either way, he looks displeased, and his gaze towards you is one as if he's glaring at an annoyingly loud fly. Or maybe a worm, like he always likes to say to people he particularly dislikes, cursing "lowly worms" under his breath when he passes them in the hallways.

"Are you crazy? Delusional? Oh, I get it, you ate something weird." He lifts his eyebrow at you, frown deepening with every word. When he notices that you don't admit to any of them, his eyes go wide. "...You're being serious."

“Yes…?” The way he’s acting makes you nervous. “C’mon, please? Just for one week…”

“...How unfortunate… the way you’re acting so desperate is kind of disgusting… but if you insist…” Scaramouche glowers, but eventually loosens his expression. "Let's make it quick."

He's a bit of a strange boyfriend, to say the least, barely holds your hand, and when he does, it's only when people are around. He's not exactly polite in his affection either, whenever he's latched onto you, he'll stick his tongue out at anyone and all who passes by you two, giving any sort of strange look.

He may or may not tone his antics down if you ask him too, but likely not. Why should he give a shit about what you think, or what others think? He's stronger - if they want a fight, he'll give it to them.

And when your crush eventually never returns the jealousy you were wishing for, it's disappointing, to say the least, but the only words Scaramouche have to say about it are: "They didn't deserve you anyway, the fool."

...Wait, was he the one that sounded jealous, now?

Perhaps you were hearing things.

Except...

"Hey, the week's over, isn't it?" Scaramouche sounds disinterested, but the way his gaze is fixated on you says otherwise. "Our little 'dating scheme' is finally over." You note the slightest hint of remorse in his voice.

"So it is." You don't glance up at him, continuing to scroll through your homefeed.

"Does that mean we're dating for real now?"

"...What?"

He lets out a sound that's a mix between a laugh and a scoff. "You tell me."

"Aren't we, now that we aren't faking it anymore?" ♥

(a/n) oops i made heizou's part too long and scara's too short whoopsies

[hooniebaekgu]

Past Midnight

PAIRING : Park Jongseong x female Reader

GENRE : fluff, smut mostly

Warning : MDNI! established relationship, both are idols, reader implied to be soloist, use of the word 'doll' and 'jongie', implied multiple rounds, unprotected sex (don't be silly wrap your wi- sorry) not proofread!!

Word Count : 1.7k

Yukki's Notes : took me so long to find the perfect aesthetic omg

Your relationship with Jay has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. As idols, you both had some image to preserve.

It honestly sucked that you had to snoop around at ass o'clock in the night just to see your boyfriend, but oh well. And throughout your relationship, Jay had been an amazing boyfriend.

Not that you've been in any relationship before him, but he still surpassed any expectations you've had. Emotionally and physically.

But recently you haven't even gotten to talk to Jay, let alone meet him. He had returned from a tour and was practically locked in practice rooms for their new comeback.

So you weren't expecting him to be knocking on your door past midnight. As soon as you opened the door, you were pushed to the nearest wall, his lips on yours, practically devouring you.

After a moment or two, you kissed back. His hands roaming all over your body, one coming to rest on your waist while the other squeezed your ass, giving it a light slap. You pulled away with a gasp.

“What are you doing here, Jay?” you said, eyeing his lips wet with saliva.

“Not happy to see me?” he said with a pout, feigning hurt. His hand on your waist slowly crept up, softly running against the small of your back.

“I'm always happy to see you baby,” you said, pushing away the loose strands of hair. “but you texted me this morning, saying that you would be busy the whole day.”

He sighed, pulling you closer. His eyes roaming over your face with adoration. “I was supposed to be, but I wouldn't shut up about you at practice. And Jungwon kicked me out, so here I am.” He watched you throw your head back, laughing at his innuendo.

“Did you eat yet?” he asked, and watched you nod your head. “I haven't, I'm hungry baby.” he said in a low tone, giving you those eyes.

“Well what would you like to have Jongie?” you asked teasingly knowing he loved that nickname.

“You.” he said, leaning in and pressing kisses on your neck, you gasped tilting your head back to give him more access.

“Baby,” you say, although your sentence has been forgotten somewhere as he sucks on that spot on your neck. “A-ah, Jay listen” you say lightly pushing him away.

“You have a schedule tomorrow, we need to sleep.” you say taking in his disheveled appearance despite not even doing anything. His eyes were dazed, as if he didn't even hear what you said, maybe he didn't.

“I don't care doll, I'll survive. Although I can't say the same if you don't let me make you feel good.”he said, looking at you with pleading eyes.

Jay saw your resolve faltering, not waiting for a response he picked you up by your waist. You wrapped your legs around his waist subconsciously.

“A-Ahh, Jongie fuck please.” you loudly whined, eyes barely open as you try to give him a pleading look.

Jay had been fingering you god knows how long, you've cum maybe 3? 4? times. And it seemed that he wasn't satisfied.

“Please what doll?” he said, his voice low as he took in your face, you were absolutely gone. And yet begging for more. His fingers were pumping in and out of you fast, you could cum from this but you wanted more.

Normally, he wouldn't even have to hear a ‘please’ from you. He would give you anything you asked for, but today he felt a little mischievous.

He wanted you to beg him, he wanted to see that you wanted him just as he wanted you. He knew you did, but he wanted to see it.

“Jongie please, I-” you said, cutting yourself off and shying away from his gaze. God he loved you, he loved how one moment you looked so sinful yet the other you were so shy you couldn't even look at him

“How am I gonna know what you want if you don't tell me doll? Say it.” he said, fucking menace.

He curled his fingers in you, hitting a spot that had you drooling. He was trying to give you a little push, you were too aware of your actions to beg so he was inching you closer and closer to that delicious sub space.

Your eyes rolled to the back, arching your back as you came all over his fingers, some of it even landing on his wrists. It took you some time to realize that you squirted.

Jay eyed your cunt hungrily, he wanted to eat you out so bad. But that would have to wait, he wanted nothing more than being buried in your cunt to the hilt.

“I want you. I need your cock.” you whined out, brain a mush from the orgasm but still hungry for more. Jay loved how desperate you became whenever it came to sex.

“Wasn't so hard, was it doll?” he said, mocking your shyness.

He did not have the patience to beat around the bush, or even dirty talk you through. Which was huge considering he loved dirty talking.

He got rid of his boxers, pants already gone back when you two were making out. His hard cock slapping against his stomach, precum oozing out as he stroked himself.

He looked up to see you eyeing him with hunger in your eyes. He didn't have to wait more, without a word he lined himself to your cunt, rubbing his tip against your clit.

You both moaned out as his tip finally entered, the burning desire you felt finally melting as he pushed more and more into you.

You felt so full, Jay groaning and dropping his head in the crook of your neck feeling you so tight around him.

“Doll relax, stop clenching.” he said, rubbing the side of your torso, trying to calm you down.

He pulled out, only his tip in you. You whined at the loss of contact, but the sound was caught in your throat as he slammed back in you.

“God, you always feel so good, doll.” he moaned, grinding his hips harder into you.

You let out a long moan, hands coming up to grab at his shoulders. Your nails scratching his back, leaving red marks in your wake, as his hips piston in you, back and forth leaving your pussy a wet mess.

You wrap your legs around his waist, making him go deeper, if that was even possible. He set a fast pace from the start, not giving any thought to your overstimulation, he knew you liked it. “Jay.” you moan, you hold eye contact with him, knowing how much he loves that.

You've never seen him so desperate, his hips thrusting in you almost animalistically. His hands holding you down, making you take everything he was giving.

He angled his hips, hitting your sweet spot, your moans were drawled out and hoarse. He pushed his face in your neck, moaning your name almost in a daze.

He suddenly pushed your legs to your chest, bending you in half. His hips thrusting in you ruthlessly, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Hah doll fuck, spot clenching so much.” he moaned out, hot breath fanning your face as his hips seemed to have a mind of their own.

You moaned his name loudly as you felt him hitting your g-spot continuously, lifting your pelvis to meet his every thrust. Your thighs were covered in your arousal, cunt dripping with slick.

His pelvis hitting yours and making loud wet noises, you were feeling overwhelmed. Your cunt squelching and sucking in his cock, wanting more and more.

Jay leaned in connecting your lips, pushing his tongue down your throat. You sucked on his tongue, spit falling down the side of your face. Everything felt hot, it was too much and yet you loved it.

He moaned loudly around your lips feeling you clench around him, he threw his head back in pleasure.

“Tell me you like this doll. Fuck tell me you like me using your cunt to get off.” he said, moaning after every couple words, his deep voice making you clench harder around him.

“H-Hah, fuck yes. Like it so much baby, I love your cock, you make me feel so good.” you said, barely able to speak with how fast he was fucking you.

Jay reached down, rubbing circles on your clit, just how you like it. He drops one of your legs from his shoulder, wrapping it around his waist. Wanting to fuck you deeper, make you cream all over his cock.

His eyes roll to the back of his head feeling you clench around him so tight, your pussy trying to suck him in.

Jay falls forward, his arms barely holding his weight as he continues to piston in you. He wouldn't be able to stop his hips even if he wanted to, the sex felt too good.

He mumbles rushed ‘I love you’s against your lips, rubbing your clit faster. Wanting to make you cum, needing to make you cum.

You arch your back, pelvis rubbing against his as you cum. Your cum making a mess all over his abdomen and running down thighs, but you know he loves it.

Jay's arms give out, feeling you clench around him. He finally let's go, thick spurts of cum painting your walls white. He falls forward, his face buried in your neck as he slowly rides his high out.

You both stay that way for a while, catching your breath from the mind blowing orgasm you've just had. Jay slips out of you, rolling over to lay down beside you.

“Should we just sleep like this?” you ask, tired out of your mind. You were desperately hoping that he would agree.

“Sure.” he said monotonously, pulling you closer wrapping his arms around you and pushing your head in his chest.

You wrap your arms around his torso, pressing a kiss on his collarbone. “I love you.” you mumble, although you were half asleep already, Jay knew you meant it. You always mean it.

“I love you too, doll.” he said, running his hands through your hair till he heard your breath slow down. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, looking at your sleeping face with adoration.

[pomefioredove]

HIYYYAAAA

JUST SAW THE FLRITY PROMPTS EVENT!

What do you say about Lilia with "Don't bite your lip, I want to do that."

I would say hgghh💕💖❤️

summary: "don't bite your lip, I want to do that" type of post: short fic characters: lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is kinda implied to be yuu but doesn't have to be, not proofread, Lilia is shamelessly flirty thank u a part of this event

There are very few things that still manage to catch Lilia by surprise.

At his age, he's simply running out of new experiences; school, politics, even the wonderful world of the internet have started becoming monotonous and boring, leaving him in a slump.

Perhaps, then, that's why he's taken such an interest in you.

Such an intriguing little creature, he thinks, watching you from the shadows of the Diasomnia lounge.

You'd come by to drop something off for Malleus, the sweet thing that you are, and, once again, Lilia finds himself shamelessly staring.

He knows he shouldn't, but, oh, he truly can't help himself!

He inches closer. Lilia can't help but wonder what sort of noise you'll make when he startles you this time. A gasp? A shout, perhaps? Maybe even a cute little squeak... the thought of that is strangely exciting to him.

Only one way to find out.

He drops out of the shadows, blocking you from the exit just as you turn towards it. "Hello!"

And... Nothing.

You smile. "Ah... hello again, Lilia. Did Malleus tell you I was coming?"

His arms fall to his sides with a pout. Nothing? Nothing at all? You look at him like he has something stuck in his teeth.

"He may have mentioned," Lilia sighs. "You're impossible to tease these days. It's quite disappointing, really."

You smile slightly, much to his bemusement. He hates letting you have the upper hand... "Maybe I've started anticipating your pranks. You'll just need to find some new material,"

New material...? He scoffs. You're not even the least bit concerned about him!

"It used to be so easy to get a rise out of you. Humans change far too fast," he laments.

"Now I'll never get to see that flustered look on your face ever again! Or I'll have to come up with something new to tease you with..."

"Orrrr... you could just not tease me at all?"

He chuckles, shaking his head as if you had just said something ridiculous. "With your precious reactions? Impossible!"

You sigh.

Lilia tuts, tapping his chin as if lost in deep thought. He circles you once, twice, then stops in front of you.

"I can't think of anything," he sighs dramatically. "It'll come to me later... Is that uniform new?"

"Oh, uh..." you mutter, caught off guard by the sudden change in topic. You turn around yourself in a circle. How cute.

"Well, it's the same uniform, but I got my measurements taken at Pomefiore, and they they got me a better fitting one."

"I can tell,"

He hums pleasantly, dragging his eyes over your body. "They did a wonderful job accentuating your features,"

You huff and look away, much to his delight, clearly taken by surprise by his change in tone.

"...Thank you,"

"Fufufu. Don't mention it," Lilia says, eyes narrowing. "You don't get complimented very much, do you?"

"Not regularly,"

"I could surmise as much. Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're almost flustered by little old me. Is that right?"

Hook, line, and sinker. Your eyes widen as you realize that you've walked right into his trap. "Oh, no, no. I'm not. I'm fine!"

"Really? Don't get shy on me, now. I'm beginning to like this even more than scaring you,"

He takes a step forward, drinking in the sight of you, your body's nervous reactions to his teasing. "How cute,"

"Tease," you say, biting the corner of your lip.

You back yourself against the wall of the lounge, to his absolute delight, and he takes that as an invitation to get closer.

"That I am," Lilia admits without a hint of shame. "But don't bite your lip... I want to do that."

That long sought-after squeak finally escapes you, music to his ears, and he leans closer. For a moment, it seems like he's about to close the distance between you... then, at the last second, he pulls back.

He chuckles. "Oh, what fun! I haven't felt so young in ages. But I do have other business to attend to,"

And so, Lilia leaves you stunned, trembling against the wall as he merrily walks off before you seem to come to your senses.

"Vanrouge, you little shit! Get back here!"

A slight giggle escapes him as he starts off running, with you not far behind. He was right; this is much, much more rewarding than scaring you.

Maybe, if you make another one of those cute noises, he'll even let you catch him.

[swarvey]

how they react to you getting hurt | sdv x g/n reader (part one)

part two

a/n: nothing like a little bit of angst. (but a lot of fluff, of course.)

—

elliott

nearly faints when you come home all bandaged up

he's always been confident in your strength, and you've never really gotten that banged up before

so when he sees your arm in a sling, he practically has a heart attack

definitely plays the "who did this to you" card because he's so dramatic

you pray that your husband is asleep as you open your door as quietly as humanly possible, tiptoeing inside your home. it doesn't help that your dominant hand is in a sling, but somehow, you manage to make it to the bedroom without waking elliott up.

just as you think you'll make it into bed successfully, he shifts, eyes fluttering open.

"y/n? did you just get back?"

he reaches over to turn on the lamp.

"wait—!"

"what in the world."

you let out a sigh of defeat as elliott's eyes turn into saucers, his mouth agape as he looks at your injury. as much as you adore your partner and everything he stands for, you know how dramatic he tends to be, especially when it comes to you.

"elliott, please, i promise it's nothing," you try, but he slowly gets out of bed and makes his way across the room to you. "seriously, i'm fine!"

"darling," he starts, his voice scarily quiet as he lightly grabs your shoulders, "who did this to you?"

"what?" you want to laugh, but you also want to see how far he's willing to take this. "what are you talking about?"

finally, emotion fills his eyes as he begins to scan your body for other wounds, acting as if you just came back from fighting a war.

"was it a monster in the mines? were you snuck up on? or worse," he gasps, "was it a person? was my darling attacked by our own kind? tell me, dear, say the word and i'll track them down to the ends of this earth!"

you can hardly take him seriously in his plaid pajamas, but you also feel so lucky to have someone care about you to this extent. emotional tears are even welling in elliott's eyes as he gently pulls you to his chest, holding you as close as he possibly can.

"i don't know what i would do if you were wounded severely, love," he says, kissing the top of your head. he pulls back to look at you deeply in the eyes, suddenly serious. "now, tell me. who, or what, did this?"

"a fishing rod."

". . . what?"

"i strained my shoulder pretty bad while fishing, so harvey said i should wear this sling for a week until it gets a bit better."

"ah, i see." elliott nods, avoiding your gaze as you laugh. "well, that doesn't mean my darling shouldn't be spoiled!"

you let out a cry of amusement as he sweeps you off your feet, laying you gently down in bed and placing the blanket over you snugly. he turns the lamp off before joining you, laying on his side so he can pull you to his chest.

"that was a bit dramatic, wasn't it?" he whispers.

"not at all."

harvey

worried out of his mind

you’re the last person he ever wants to see in his clinic

will absolutely overplay your injury unless you stop him

(though it is nice to be doted on)

"hey, harvey."

you watch as harvey's head shoots up in surprise, knowing that he isn't expecting you this early. typically you would do some work throughout the day before stopping by around lunch to see him, but the clock had just about hit noon. you had decided to take an early trip to the mines as your lovely husband promised to take over your farm chores for the morning — though, thinking back on it, maybe you should have just slept in.

"are you back from the mines already, dear?" he asks, turning to look at you. "that was quick—" he stops in his tracks.

you look at him sheepishly, wincing as you tighten your grip around the cloth wrapped around your injured arm. a hint of blood seeps through it, and you can practically see harvey pale.

"listen," you start, "before you freak out, it's not that—"

"sit, i need to take a look at it right now," he orders, urgency filling his voice. you sigh as he grabs your hand and leads you to the examination table. "how did this even happen? you're usually more careful than this," he scolds, slowly beginning to unwrap the cloth as you do your best to explain.

"i took the elevator pretty far down the mines this morning," you explain, biting your lip in pain as the makeshift bandage fully comes undone. "there were a few monsters i had trouble dealing with. i guess this is what happens when i skip out on my morning coffee."

harvey frowns, shaking his head. "now is not the time for jokes." he shakes his head, gently taking your arm in his hands and looking at your wound. "what if it had been worse? what if you couldn't make it back up, and got trapped? or, worse, what if you got an infection?" he pauses, and you can see all the scenarios running through his head. "then we'd have to transport you to the city's hospital, i'm nowhere near equipped enough to handle that. should i be ordering more supplies?" his eyes widen, his hand hovering over his lips as he continues to ramble on about different ways your story could have ended. he doesn't even notice the exasperated look you're giving him.

"and then i'd have to take over the farm, at least for a while—"

"harvey," you laugh, grabbing his shoulders. he snaps out of his daze, his eyes meeting yours once again. your heart melts at the worry that glazes them. "what matters is i'm here, right? so why don't you properly bandage me up and i'll stay here for a bit, just in case."

he clears his throat, a dust of red printing his cheeks as he nods. he turns to grab some disinfectant and a roll of bandages.

"right. good idea, honey. but, as your doctor," he adds, and you groan at his words, "i say you need to avoid the mines for the next week in order to heal properly, and no extensive farm work, either."

"seriously?" you grimace as he applies the disinfectant before thoroughly wrapping your wound. "who's going to take care of the crops and the animals, then?"

your heart skips a beat when harvey places a soft kiss on top of your bandages before hugging you to his chest. he rests his chin on the top of your head, and you can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks.

"your loving husband, of course."

shane

immediately begins to panic internally when he hears you're at harvey's clinic from emily

sounds angry, but his eyes deceive him — you know he's just worried

tries to act all tough, but he can't help being a bit more protective over you than usual

"what the hell were you thinking?" he questions sharply, barging into the clinic with no greeting. you stifle a laugh at his appearance — from the looks of it, he had just woken up from a nap, his hair touseled and jacket half thrown on. "why didn't you come get me?"

"i told emily to let you know, since i was a little busy trying not to pass out," you joke, but you quickly realize your mistake when he all but shoves harvey out of the way to give you a look over. "shane, i was kidding—"

"how hurt are they?" he demands, his attention turning to harvey. "do they need time to recover? should i do anything?"

the doctor raises an amused brow before replying, "don't worry, the cut on their leg didn't even need stitches. the wounds should be completely healed within a few days. y/n," he turns to you, a kind smile on his face as he takes off his stethoscope, "take it a bit easy for now, alright? at least until your leg is completely better."

"thanks, doc." as you move to stand, you're shocked as shane wraps an arm around you, helping you get on your feet. "what are you . . . ?"

he doesn't meet your eyes. instead, he guides you to the door, a frown imprinted on his face. you hear maru hold back a gasp at the scenario in front of her. harvey nudges her to stay quiet, though it's clear the two are more than amused at the situation at hand.

"didn't you hear him? you need to take it easy," he snaps, and you can see him starting to blush.

"shane," you start, the two of you making your way through the plaza, "you hate PDA." yet, his arm is still wrapped tightly around you as he guides you towards the farm.

"shut up," he grumbles, pulling you closer to his side. "it doesn't count if it's doctor's orders."

you laugh, leaning into his side. you like the change of pace, it's refreshing — not that he'll ever admit this ever happened.

"well, maybe i should get hurt more often, then."

"don't even think about it."

-

lmk if you guys want more !

[ckret2]

Chapter 40 of human Bill Cipher, in spite of his fondest hopes, still being stuck in the Mystery Shack:

As much as Gideon wants out of the evil magic game, the survival of his father's used car dealership rides on Gideon's help.

And, relatedly, Bill's started receiving psychic car commercials.

1981

Ford had been in his study for what felt like forever, staring at the pile of papers and numbers on his desk, trying to stop the figures from shifting and swimming before his eyes; when something from behind him lit up the dim room with golden light and he a heard a familiar voice behind his shoulder—

"Heeey, Stanford! You've been having a lot of dreams about tax forms lately, what gives?"

Ford was startled out of his thoughts. He turned around, smiling in relief. "Oh, Bill! Hello." Apparently he was dreaming. Thank goodness. It explained why he couldn't seem to get these forms to make sense. "How long have you been watching me?"

"About twenty years."

"What?"

"About twenty minutes," Bill said. "I wasn't going to bug you tonight, but usually your dreams are a little more adventurous! You're starting to worry me, kid." He disintegrated the tax forms with a gesture and floated down to sit on Ford's desk, like a razor-thin glowing paperweight. It was strange to see him cross his legs. "What's on your subconscious?"

Ford hadn't thought his Muse cared that much about his day-to-day human troubles. It was comforting to know someone was worrying about him—someone so far beyond human potential that maybe Ford didn't have to worry he'd be disappointed to learn Ford was struggling a little. "It's my grant money," he sighed. "I feel like my research into Gravity Falls is nowhere near completion, but that money will only last for so long. It won't be long before I'll need to ask for more funding, and I'll have a hard time convincing anyone if I don't have anything to show for it, but I don't want to share incomplete research..."

"Ah, money. The second-worst curse human society's ever inflicted on itself."

"What's the worst one?"

"Marriage."

Ford barked a laugh. It wasn't even that funny a joke; it was just such unexpectedly human cynicism for such an otherworldly entity. It sounded like a joke Ford's dad would make.

"Well, money. What to do..." Bill drummed his fingers on Ford's desk, gazing off into the distance as he thought. Ford realized that, at some point while he was distracted, most of his study had vanished, leaving his desk and chair sitting precariously atop a faint gridded plane in the starry blue void where he usually met Bill. Finally, Bill said, "Have you considered buying gold?"

He hadn't. "Will it help?"

"Sure it will! Eventually!"

"In time to help pay my mortgage?"

"Hmm." Bill thought a moment longer, then snapped his fingers. "Got an idea." He floated off of Ford's desk to eye level, strange sigils appearing in white-blue light around him. "Do you happen to know where the people who decide your funding live?"

"Er... the general area." It had to be near the Backupsmore campus, didn't it?

"Then I might be able to help you!" The symbols solidified around Bill. "I know a little spell to help persuade people. It'll let you plant ideas in their dreams—give 'em a little subliminal nudge. It could make some bigwigs come around on the importance of the research you're doing out here."

A fascinating concept. Ford studied the sigils greedily. He didn't recognize them, but they looked fairly simple. "You're not... talking about mind control?"

"Nah, that's not in my wheelhouse. It'll just let you... talk to them! Like I talk to you! I'm not controlling you, am I?" His eye curved up in a facsimile of a smile. "But you'll find most people have a harder time ignoring you when you're talking to them inside their own heads. What they do with that when they wake up is up to them. Just think of it as a way to schedule an interview where you'll have their undivided attention."

Ford pressed his lips together as he thought; then shook his head. "Thank you, Bill, but no. I wouldn't feel right earning money that way. I'd rather know they were impressed by the scientific and historical value of my work—and if I use magic, I'll never know for sure if they really thought my work measured up."

Bill laughed. "That's what I like about you, Stanford! You really shoot for the stars—and you've got the work ethic to get there! You don't want the fame and fortune unless you earn it!"

Ford was momentarily taken aback. It was rare that his muse openly complimented him; on most nights he dealt with Ford with a sort of cool, detached fondness, something a little too distant to be real affection. When he did voice his approval, it was like the sun coming out after a month of cloud cover. There were nights, when Ford was really feeling his isolation in these woods and he'd half convinced himself all his years of research had been a waste of time, when he was half willing to chase that sunshine to the ends of the earth.

"You'll do whatever it takes to finish your research, won't you?" Bill asked.

Ford gave Bill an awkward, self-conscious smile. "Of course I will. How could I not?"

"Hey, not everyone has your ambition! Most people take the easy way to the top. Cheating, copying, riding on greater men's coattails... Some guys earn the dough to buy their gold, others just want to dig for someone else's." Bill spread his hands in a shrug. "Well, it was an idea." The sigils started to fade.

Ford raised a hand. "Hold on. I don't want to use it, but... do you think I could learn that spell anyway?" He smiled hopefully. "For research?"

"For fun?"

"For fun."

Bill laughed. "I was waiting for you to ask!" The sigils reappeared, and next to them appeared an incantation. "All right, I'll walk you through it. Pay attention, I don't think you've got enough time to go over it twice this REM cycle."

Ford nodded, focusing fully on Bill, determined to remember the spell well enough to record it in Journal 2 when he woke up.

####

Spring, 2013

Tentatively, Bud Gleeful said, "Son... now, I know you lost that spooky grimoire of yours. But... don't you have anything left that might help out the dealership?"

Gideon growled in irritation. "I told you, father! Everything I knew was in Journal 2! It's gone! Anyway, I'm just trying to be a normal kid now. I don't want to get mixed up in any more magic. I'm through with it."

"I understand," Bud said, nodding. "And I think that's mighty admirable of you, turning over a new leaf like that. Shows real maturity." He hesitated, wringing his hands together. He pre-emptively winced and said, "But it's just that... business hasn't exactly been booming, ever since your little tenure as Bill's sheriff. And you know I love the fellas you made friends with in the penitentiary, they're all such... colorful characters; but having them hang around does make folks a little wary to drive into the parking lot..."

Volume doubling, Gideon snapped, "Are you saying it's my fault?!"

"No, son, no. You know I'd never." Bud knelt down, and—cautiously, like he was trying to pet a feral cat—put a hand on Gideon's shoulder. "But, well... business is slumping, that's all. We'll be fine as long as we live within our means, don't you worry about that—but our means might not cover luxuries like those fancy suits and fine new boots you like so much, you understand."

Gideon lowered his gaze, tugging self-consciously on the sleeve of his favorite suit jacket. It was already just a little too short to be fashionable; he probably didn't have long until he outgrew it completely.

"Your mother and I are doing all we can," Bud said. "If there's anything you can do... well, you don't have to, of course. But—it'd be a mighty big help."

Gideon grit his teeth, glaring at his feet. (How long until he outgrew all his shoes? He had a growth spurt coming "any day now," he'd been told. The prospect didn't excite him.) He balled his hands into fists; and then muttered, "There... might be one spell I remember... the sigils were pretty simple..."

####

June 2013

Bill could see it in his mind's eye: if he kept pushing and pushing eventually there'd be no more room in two dimensional space for his mother to fill, and then she'd be forced to bend UP, up into the third dimension, all that open free space. Then she'd see the dark, she'd see the far points of light—

"STOP!" His mother howled in pain. He kept pushing. She was out of room. She didn't bend up. He shoved—and she splintered. Bone snapping, cartilage tearing, he could see inside her thin body as things broke and ruptured. He didn't know what to do.

And for several long, long seconds—he couldn't remember what was happening. The world seemed to bend wrong, and he couldn't remember.

At least, he couldn't have remembered a few weeks ago. He hadn't wanted to. But he'd been studying a book on lucid dreaming since then; and the first things it taught was how to remember more of his dreams. And now, he recalled exactly what happened next when he pushed his mother and she splintered and ruptured:

He pushed harder.

Her skin fractured and peeled off, strand after strand. It filled the spaces between his fingertips, wrapped up his arms. He could shut his eye but he still saw it through his eyelid, still felt it tickling at the corners of his mouth. 

"You want me to tell everyone the third dimension's full of dead shapes?! Huh?!" All he could see was blood and bone and peeling skin. "Then why don't you go find them for me!" He let out an angry, hysterical, broken laugh.

Her hand grabbed weakly at his.

He let go and jolted back, gasping—and almost retched. What had he done? He hadn't meant to. But he'd kept pushing—but it was too late by then. It was too late by then, wasn't it?

"What have you done?"

Bill whirled around to face— "Dad?"

The green trapezoid looked as sick as Bill felt, eye darting in horror across the crumpled line in the corner. He couldn't even see most of it from where he was—his eye didn't work like Bill's, he couldn't look through the mess of skin to the gore beneath.

"It was an accident," Bill whispered. (He'd kept pushing.) "It really was, I promise."

His father tore his eye from the corpse to Bill's face. "What are we going to tell your followers?"

Bill looked past his father. Through a wall so thin Bill almost couldn't see it, hundreds upon hundreds of shapes were settled, waiting—to see him. He was sure: somehow, somehow, they could see him too. They knew what he'd done. His life was over.

A thunderous voice boomed, "Whooee, what a fix! Boy, you look like you could use a getaway car, couldn't you?"

Bill blinked. He blinked again. He looked up-but-not-north.

A human in a pink Hawaiian shirt, standing on top of the universe, looked down at him.

Bill said, "What."

"Here, let me just—getcha right—" The human plunged his hand through the second dimension, scooped beneath Bill, and popped him right up off the surface of the universe. "Now, if you'll pardon my saying so, you look like you could use a little help getting somewhere far, far away from here!"

Bill stared at him. "What."

"And I've got just the thing to help you!" the human declared. "Aren't you feeling stuck? Trapped? Just can't take your obligations anymore? Miserable you can't hit the road and see all of—well—" he gestured vaguely out at the flat surface of the universe stretching into the distance "—whatever this is? Then you need to visit your buddy Bud Gleeful—(that's me)—at Gleeful's Auto Sales, the finest used car dealership in Roadkill County! We'll get you a set of wheels that'll carry you on the cross-country police-evading tour of your dreams!" He dropped his voice and murmured to Bill from behind his hand, "Warranty expires at the state line."

"What." Bill looked down at the universe—and was disappointed but not surprised to see he wasn't a triangle anymore, but a human. He looked at Bud again. "Are you advertising to me. Is this an advertisement. Am I getting advertised to in my sleep."

"And if you sign before you leave, we'll throw in a free air freshener," Bud added.

Bill stared at him in horrified amazement. "I am going to kill you," he said. "And then I'm going to wake up and kill you in real life."

"Ah, well. That's a right shame."

####

Bill shot straight up with a roar of rage. "Oh, when I get my hands on...!"

"Whoa. Bad dream?"

Bill whirled around with a murderous glare. Dipper's spirit, ghastly and pale, was hovering in the middle of the attic. Bill snapped, "You're a bad dream!" He scrambled after the spirit.

"Whoa! Hey!" Dipper tried to swoop away from Bill toward the stairs.

Bill caught him by the back of the neck. "You are going back in your bo—bed, you're getting in, and you're not getting back out."

"Ow, let go!" Dipper squirmed in Bill's grip, kicking his feet in the air. "I was just going to turn off the TV! I heard it playing an advertisement, I think that's what put me in... you know." He gestured at himself. "The sleepwalking dream."

Bill hesitated in front of the kids' door. "What advertisement?"

"I don't know, it was too far away to tell. But I know it was an advertisement, it sounded... advertise-y."

"Hmm." Bill considered that. And then he flung Dipper's soul through the door.

"HEY!"

"I'll turn off the TV," Bill said. "Go back to sleep!"

Ugh. Everything ached, his stomach was trying to turn itself inside out in an attempt to escape and go forage for food independently, and the world held a vindictive grudge against Bill personally. He trudged downstairs, muttering crabbily to himself.

He wasn't surprised to discover the TV was off.

####

"I'm conducting a survey," Bill said. "Did you hear any advertisements from the TV last night? Maybe have any dreams that might have been influenced by hearing an ad?"

"Uh..." Soos slowed at the bottom of the stairs as he thought. "Nope. Slept like a baby all night."

"Interesting." He waved at Melody to try to catch her attention. "Hey, how about you?"

"Nope!" Already dressed for work, she hurried from the stairs to the living room without even glancing Bill's way. She tended not to linger when he was nearby. He told himself he was flattered.

"Dude," Soos said, "What happened to your arm?"

Bill looked down. On the underside of his forearm were two thick lines set at an angle, burned so dark brown they were nearly black. "Leaned on the stove after someone used the burner. Oops."

"Do you need...?"

"Don't worry about it, it's already healing." Bill rolled down his hoodie's sleeves as he leaned into the kitchen, "How 'bout you, Stan? Hear any phantom ads last night?"

"Nuh-uh. But I sleep with my hearing aids out," Stan said. "The only things loud and grating enough to wake me are a car horn or your voice."

"Ha!" Bill looked from Stan's side of the table to Ford's—and Ford wasn't facing him, but he was glancing from the corner of his eye toward Bill's arms.

Bill turned away without asking anything. No point. Obviously, Ford had been too far underground to have picked up anything. Bill told himself Ford was seething at getting the cold shoulder.

"What're we talking about?" Mabel asked, coming downstairs with Dipper close behind.

Bill looked at her—and then let his gaze sweep past her with the same cold disinterest he'd favored Ford with. He brushed past her to head upstairs. "Hey, somnambulist." He shoved Dipper's hat down over his eyes as he passed. "TV was off. No one else heard anything. You dreamed your stupid ad."

"Hey." Dipper pulled his hat back up. "Jerk."

Mabel called, "Bill?"

He ignored her and kept walking.

####

"What was that all about?"

Bill was curled up in the attic window seat, flipping covetously through an issue of Gold Chains For Old Men; at the sound of Mabel's irritated voice, he merely said, "Oh, hello." He turned another page. "Here to try to make a fool of me some more?"

She planted her hands on her hips. "Bill, what are you talking about?"

"Tell me about those 'Mysteries' of yours. Did you plan your story any deeper than that? Were you going to arrange for me to catch you with a cloak and dagger just to make me wonder?"

Mabel paused. "Oh." She laughed weakly.

"So how many people were in on it, huh? Was it just you and Stanford, or did you have the whole house laughing at me behind my back?"

"It—it was just us two." She leaned on the wall by Bill's feet. "Um, so... are you actually mad?"

He shot her a venomous look, then lifted his magazine so he couldn't see her any more.

"Come on!" She poked his knee. "It was a harmless prank! And you lie to everyone all the time."

"No I don't."

"You're so sensitive."

"I am not," Bill said indignantly. "I'm proud. I have pride. And lately pride's about the only thing I have going for me. And I didn't think a friend would try to undermine it."

Mabel heaved a sigh. "Okay, all right. Sorry."

Bill lowered his magazine to peer at her skeptically. "Are you really?"

"Well, yeah." She leaned against the window seat. "It was just a joke, I don't wanna hurt your feelings."

He stared her down a moment longer, assessing her sincerity. And then he sat up and pulled her into a hug.

She squawked in surprise, but returned the embrace. "Bill! What—?"

"You're sweet, you know that, star girl?" He gave her one last squeeze and let her go. "When you aren't trying to make me look dumb. But you don't rub salt in the wounds, that's what matters."

"Pfff. I kinda think you'd try to kill me if I did."

"Mmyeah, I might." He wouldn't. Only person in this entire dull rotten world who was willing to apologize for wronging him. He wasn't giving her up easily. "Hey—did you happen to hear any commercials last night? Maybe have any dreams that might've been caused by one?"

"Nope! I had a dream about cats fighting a war against an octopus."

"Oh, that one. Did the octopus win or did the lions show up in time?"

Mabel paused. "It's always creepy when you do that. But the octopus won this time."

"Aww. That poor picturesque beach town."

"I tried to get between the octopus and the town when the cats failed."

"Did you stop it?"

Mabel shrugged. "Dunno. I woke up before it reached me."

"Too bad! But hey—you've been making big progress with your lucid dreaming. You'll get it next time!" No salesmen offering cars as war chariots for the cats, though. It was almost a pity. Bill would've liked to hear about Bud getting eaten by a giant octopus.

"So I guess Dipper was the only one who thought he heard a commercial."

Dipper and Bill. "Guess so."

####

The large, empty floor room, down the main hallway at the far end of the house, was among the few places Bill was allowed to go. Except when the humans had some big event like a dance or a museum exhibit planned, there was nothing in it but a flat old sofa, a fireplace he couldn't turn on, and Soos's electric piano taunting him. In spite of its relative isolation from the rest of the household, Bill rarely had reason to visit it.

But when he wanted space to pace and think, there was no better room.

Last night's advertisement was magic, no doubt. And he suspected he knew the exact spell. The Mystery Shack was way on the outskirts of Gravity Falls; probably nobody else here was affected because they were just out of range of the signal. The only reason Dipper had nearly picked it up was because he didn't have his thick skull in the way when his spirit was out of his body.

But Bill's psychic abilities had been heavily suppressed since he was put in this body. How was he channeling the signal so much more clearly than anyone else?

He thoughtfully ran his tongue over his new golden tooth. "Hmm."

####

Bud entered the Gleeful house flipping through a pile of mail. "Junk, junk, bills, junk... Here's your subscription, honeybunch." He held out an issue of Nervous Wrecks Weekly magazine. His wife paused her cycle of polishing the front window to stiffly take it.

"Junk, coupons... Gideon! You've got a fan letter!" He checked for a stamp indicating the tiny envelope had passed through a state correctional facility. "And it isn't even from the prison, isn't that nice!"

"Coming!" Gideon ran out of his room, snatched the letter from Bud's hand with a little grunt, ran back to his room giggling, and slammed the door.

Bud chuckled. "Joy, sweetie, you remember when that boy got so much fanmail he used to throw it out? These days he's excited for every single letter." The corners of his mouth turned down. "Suppose it's good for him, learning to appreciate the little things."

"Mhm." She looked down at the roses outside the window. She'd need to trim those soon. "I suppose it is."

In his room, Gideon studied the odd envelope. It was tiny—barely large enough for the address and the stamp, no return address—and when he turned it over he discovered lines of text printed on the paper. The flap was tucked carefully into a fold in the envelope that held it tight.

As he pulled out the flap, he realized that the envelope wasn't held together with glue; it was some sort of cleverly-folded origami craft that began to unfold in his hands as he pulled out the flap. The letter was written on the inside of the envelope. "Why—what a delightful little creation!" He sat at his dressing table to focus on unfolding the letter, careful not to damage it so he could re-fold it later.

Once he'd smoothed it out, he could see that the paper was carefully torn from a book. The outside of the envelope was made from the last page of a chapter, with only a few lines of text at the top of the page and the rest left conveniently blank. It talked about telling the difference between waking and dreaming.

He turned the page over to read the letter.

GIDEON–

IT'S ADORABLE THAT YOU'RE USING A DREAM COUNTERFEITING SPELL FOR CAPITALISM! I BET YOUR PARENTS ARE PROUD! HOWEVER, MY FILLINGS ARE PICKING UP AUTO DEALERSHIP ADS ALL NIGHT. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING. CUT IT OUT.

In place of a signature, there was a triangle with an eye.

Gideon's blood ran cold.

He read the letter again, then studied the words themselves. He didn't recognize the tall, thin, crooked handwriting. He flipped over the envelope. No return address. He noticed for the first time that the letter wasn't addressed to "Gideon". It said "STAR BOY". Fan mail. Right.

The postmark was from Gravity Falls.

"It can't be Bill," Gideon muttered to himself. "Bill's dead. It's got to be some prankster with a twisted sense of humor..."

But then, how could some prankster know he was doing dream magic? Did anyone else even know that Bill had called him "Star Boy"?

No. It had to be a prankster. If Bill were alive, he'd be doing much worse than sending letters and complaining about fillings.

He crumpled up the letter and threw it away. His father's business needed Gideon to do whatever he could to help. Gideon's own financial future depended on it. He wasn't about to let some prankster stop him.

####

There was a rumble of several motorcycles and a revving car engine outside the Gleeful house, disturbing the late evening still. Gideon came in the front door wearing a little backpack, waving behind himself as he came in. "Thanks for the ride, Ghost-Eyes! Good talk today! I'll see y'all this weekend for brunch!" He shut the door as the engines receded into the distance.

"Welcome home, son," Bud said from the couch. "How were the ex-convicts this week?"

"Oh, great, just great. Graybeard's daughter is gonna let him meet his grandson and Spiderwebs got a new job."

"Oh, that's wonderful to hear. I know you were real concerned for Spiderwebs."

"I shouldn't have worried! He got work at an alpaca ranch on the other side of town, did you know there's an alpaca ranch 'round here?"

"Can't say I did!"

"I think it's a good fit for him. Being out in nature calms him down."

An uneasy silence fell over the room as they waited a polite amount of time to change the topic. In the kitchen, Joy cleaned the same dish for the third time.

Bud cleared his throat. "Well, uh—you know, it's been a couple of days since we've run a 'nighttime ad.' Do you think it's a good time to...?"

Gideon squeezed his backpack's straps. He could still see that spindly text reading "STAR BOY". "Do you think? I don't want to put 'em too close together, folks might notice..."

Bud grimaced. "It can't hurt. It's been almost two weeks since I sold a car."

Gideon scowled. But he nodded. "Yeah, all right. I'll go set up."

"You know how much your mother and I appreciate it," Bud said. "I'll go heat up dinner."

Gideon went to his room, tossed his backpack on his bed, rolled out the tarp on which he'd drawn the circle and sigils in permanent marker, and set up the candlesticks and candles around the perimeter. His father called him to dinner; they watched an evening talk show; and after a little more dawdling, they figured it was late enough that most folks would be asleep, and went to Gideon's room to get to work.

As Bud awkwardly lowered himself to sit in the circle and Gideon lit the candles, Gideon asked, "Father, do you ever... remember who you talk to? I mean, whose dreams you're in?"

Bud considered that, pursing his lips. "No, can't say I do. It's a bit like I'm dreaming myself," he said. "And it's sort of a jumble of a few hundred dreams, too. Like I'm visiting the whole town at once. All I can recall is a blur!"

Gideon frowned. "I see."

"You sure you don't want to be sitting in the circle this time?" Bud asked. "I'd bet if folks saw you in their dreams telling them to buy a car, why, they'd just rush right down."

These days, Gideon wasn't so sure. Sourly, he said, "I don't want to get involved." He'd gotten enough of starring in his father's car commercials when he was younger. He'd thought he'd escaped that completely when he picked up the telepathy act; he didn't relish the thought of using telepathy to star in another car commercial.

"All right, suit yourself. Just keep it in mind." Bud got as comfortable as he could on the floor and shut his eyes.

Gideon took a deep breath and began chanting: "Dreamers, hear me, from far far away; tonight you'll dream of what I say; dreamers, hear me, from far far away; tonight you'll dream of what I say; dreamers, hear me, from far far away..."

The flames flickered and turned bright blue. A purplish shimmery light surrounded Bud; and as Gideon kept chanting, the light expanded to the edge of the circle and beyond, creeping across the floor, over the bed—

A shrill wail filled the room. They both started, losing their concentration. The wail persisted several seconds before it resolved into a eardrum-bursting roar of words: "HI I'M SCOUT YOUNGER AND I'M IN A PICKLE SO YOU CAN DRIVE FOR A NICKEL! I'VE GOT SO MANY CARS I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT 'EM! SO WE'RE GIVING THEM AWAY FOR FIVE CENTS, THAT'S RIGHT FIVE CENTS! SCOUT YOUNGER, I'M A DEALER BY THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE—"

"Dagnabbit," Bud shouted, "that's the man undermining my no-barter-for-a-quarter deal and getting all my business! He's halfway to Portland—but darn it, his commercials are so catchy!"

"—THAT'S YOUNGER PATRIOT CARS, ON THE NORTH SIDE OF INTERSTATE—" The commercial was cut off with a clap of thunder that made them both jump again.

And before the dying rumbles of the thunder had fully faded, a second voice spoke—a high-pitched, furious shriek that Gideon hadn't heard in nearly a year but instantly recognized: "SEE HOW YOU LIKE GETTING USED CAR ADS SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU LITTLE TWERP. THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING!"

There was another crack of thunder; and then nothing.

Nothing but a faint, muffled, mechanical whir coming from Gideon's bed.

Slowly, Bud said, "Is that...?"

Gideon looked under his bed; then on top, tugging over his backpack and unzipping it; and he pulled out a still-running cassette tape player. A complicated sigil was painted on top of the player and stretched over the play button, glowing shimmery purple as though it had absorbed the magic from Gideon's spell.

Bud took the tape player, stopped it, rewound a bit, turned down the volume dial, and hit play: "—your throat in the middle of the night, you little—"

He stopped the tape. He and Gideon looked at each other.

Bud said, "Don't tell your mother."

####

"Third lap!" Dipper crowed as his car zoomed over the line on the digital racetrack. "You'd better catch up fast!"

"Aw, c'mon," Mabel groaned. She tilted her body along with her game controller as she steered her car around a tricky curve, as though that would help her go a little faster. "No fair, I'd be winning if you didn't throw a goose at me—"

"Pff, shut up, you always use the goose."

Bill was sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching the fish tank—as far as either Dipper or Mabel could tell, having a staring contest with the axolotl—but without breaking eye contact with the tank, he leaned over to elbow Dipper's knee. "Hey kid. Go left."

"What? No, shut up." Dipper tried to kick Bill's arm away.

"Go left. Trust me, it's a hidden shortcut."

"No! You're not even watching."

"I'm psychic. Go left."

"No." Dipper jerked his car to the right. It drove off the track and landed in quicksand. "Aw, man—"

"YES!" Mabel sailed past him. A fanfare played as she crossed the finish line. "The winner! Woo-woooo!"

Bill beamed as Dipper glared at the side of his face.

Somebody knocked on the door—and kept knocking, frantically hammering for attention. Dipper and Mabel looked over.

Bill glanced over, rolled his eyes, said, "You don't want to answer that," and looked back at the fish tank.

Dipper glared at him again, stood, and went to answer the door, Mabel close behind. "Hel— Gideon?"

"Told you," Bill muttered.

Gideon was sweating, panting, and wild-eyed with panic. "Mabel! Dipper!" He paused to give Mabel a sweet smile. "Hi Mabel~♡" And straight back to panic. "We've got a problem! I know y'all don't want me 'round here, but—but this is an emergency!"

Dipper glanced at Mabel. She sighed, but reluctantly stepped back to let Gideon in. "All right. What is it?"

"I know I sound insane, but—but you have to trust me," Gideon said. "I don't know how, and I don't know why, but Bill Cipher's back! I'm sure it's Bill, it can't be anyone else, he... he knows things only somebody with his powers could know!" He paced anxiously in front of the twins, "He's been sending me threatening mail and harassing me and—and I don't know what he's up to, but we've got to find him and stop him! You've gotta help me!" He grabbed Dipper's arms. "I think he might be trying to kill my family!"

Dipper and Mabel turned to glare at Bill.

He was determinedly studying the fish tank.

"Hey, Goldie," Dipper snapped.

Bill glanced over with an expression of mild interest. "Hm?"

"Gideon here says that Bill's been harassing him," Dipper said. "What do you think about that."

"Oh wow," Bill said, extremely unconvincingly. "That's so crazy. I can't even believe it."

Gideon's anxious gaze darted past Dipper and Mabel. "Who's...?" He thought he remembered seeing that stranger around Wendy.

Dipper stepped between their line of sight. "Thanks, Gideon. We'll handle this... problem."

The stranger got to his feet and sauntered to the entryway. "Hey Gideon. Just out of curiosity, what were y—"

Mabel cut in, "Bye, Gideon!" She tried to push him toward the door. "We'll see you later!"

The stranger leaned over Gideon, planting a hand on the doorframe. "—what were you doing that got on Bill's nerves so much, I wonder—"

"Shhh!" Mabel tried to push Bill away.

Had Gideon not heard the voice so recently, he might not have noticed anything odd about the stranger in front of him. But as it was, a chill instantly ran up his spine. He slowly looked up. The menacing smile was unfamiliar, but the eye... something was wrong with that eye. The longer he stared into it, the more he could see the cruel, mad, golden inhumanity.

Gideon squealed in terror and bolted out the door. 

Dipper squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "Seriously?"

Mabel chased after him. "Gideon! Gideon wait!" She caught up with him rounding in front of the gift shop and had to tackle him into the dirt.

"Get offa me! You're working for him, you traitor—"

"Gideon, listen! We're not working for him, he's our prisoner!"

"Oh." Gideon stopped struggling. "Well, that's a different kettle of corn, isn't it."

Mabel sighed in relief. She backed off Gideon, but had to hold his ankle to make sure he wouldn't bolt again. "Okay, look. We don't know how, but Bill's stuck in a human body, and he's got no powers."

"How do y'all know he isn't faking it?"

"Because he tried to kill us and we beat him up." She winced. "We've... kind of beat him up a lot."

Gideon nodded. "O... okay."

"But you can't tell anybody," Mabel said. "If there's an angry mob or something and he gets executed, the real Bill might hatch from his body like an egg and he'll take over the town again!"

Gideon shuddered. He could almost still feel ache in his legs and the blisters on his feet under the adorable sparkly pink shoes.

"So he's fine here with us. We've got everything under control, he's not dangerous like this—" Mabel turned around to shout, "—and HE SHOULDN'T BE SENDING THREATENING LETTERS, BILL."

Bill's voice drifted from around the corner of the house: "YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!"

Dipper said, "What did Gideon do to warrant that, anyway?"

Bill glowered into the distance. "He knows what he did."

"Okay, I-I won't tell anyone. I promise." Pitifully, Gideon asked, "Can I go home now?"

"Yeah, you can go home now." Mabel let him go. He got up and ran as fast as his little legs would carry him.

####

They reconvened in the living room. Dipper and Mabel stood in front of Bill, glaring. Bill sat on the sofa, smiling innocently.

"Bill," Mabel said. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Oh, yeah?" Lots of people thought he should be ashamed of himself, but not many had the guts to say so.

"Bullying Gideon like that!"

"I have an excuse," Bill said. "I've been crabby this week. Body made me crabby. Some kind of human neurotransmitter imbalance. I didn't sign up to have neurotransmitters, it's completely out of my hands."

"That's not an excuse," Dipper said.

"Plus, you're an entire adult thing!" Mabel said. "You're picking on a little kid! He's like, eleven!"

"So? There's not a lot of difference between eleven and a hundred eleven when you're a million million years old."

"Then maybe you're too old to bully anybody."

Bill blinked in mild surprise. "Huh."

Dipper said, "Plus, you're gonna blow your cover and get everyone in trouble!"

Bill shrugged. "He can't prove anything! Anyone could have sent a letter pretending to be me."

Mabel asked, "How did you send a letter, anyway?"

####

"Hey, Soos," Mabel yelled, "Can you send a letter for me?"

"Sure thing, hambone! Just stick it on the pile in the kitchen."

Mabel licked a stamp, haphazardly slapped it on the envelope to her parents, tossed it on the other mail, and ran back upstairs.

Bill crept into the kitchen, peeled the stamp off Mabel's envelope before it dried, stuck it on his tiny origami letter, and stuffed them both into the middle of the mail pile. "Sorry, kid," he muttered. "You'll just have to resend this one."

####

"I have my ways," Bill said.

"And how did you 'harass' Gideon?" Dipper asked. "What could you possibly do from in here to harass him?"

####

Bill sat on the sofa in the floor room with Mabel's boombox radio on the floor, a cassette tape player/recorder he'd salvaged from the museum held up to the speaker with his thumb hovering over the record button, his other hand hovering over the key with the thunder sound effect on Soos's keyboard, an air horn between his knees, and a nearly-dead marker he'd fished out of Mabel's trash and revitalized with rubbing alcohol waiting next to him for drawing a magic-activated sigil. He glared at the boombox as the local radio station played an advertisement for air conditioning installation. "Come on," he muttered at the boombox. "Play the stupid car commercial."

The next ad started. "Bargain alert, bargain alert! I've got more used cars than I know what to do with! Hi, I'm Scout—"

"Yes," Bill hissed. He hit the record button, squeezed the air horn between his knees, held the tape recorder up to the boombox until the end of the commercial, kicked the boombox's power button, quickly held the tape recorder up to the piano, and triumphantly hit the key that produced the sound of a flushing toilet.

"NO!" He kicked the electric piano's leg, flung the tape recorder to the other end of the sofa, and flopped face down on the cushions. After permitting himself a moment of grief at the injustice of it all, he dragged over the tape recorder, stopped it, rewound it back to the start, hit the lightning key several times to make sure he had it, and then set up again to wait for the next time the car commercial played.

####

"Hey Wendy, could you get this door for me?"

Wendy gave Bill a puzzled look. "That's the wrong hallway. Rainbow Club's down that one." She pointed at the door across the room.

"I know, I'm just looking for the restroom! I need to dooo... girl hygiene things?"

Wendy looked at the tape player-shaped lump under Bill's shirt, looked at his face, and raised her brow.

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna prank Lil Gideon."

Wendy opened the door, leaned through, and opened a second door to a coat closet. "Good luck. We're all counting on you."

Bill saluted her, and rummaged through the leather biker jackets in search of Gideon's little backpack.

####

"You've got no idea what kind of dark powers I still have at my disposal," Bill boasted, leaning back and lacing his hands behind his head.

Dipper turned to Mabel. "Yeah, he's got nothing. He probably bribed a tourist to call Gideon's house or something."

Bill scowled, but didn't dignify Dipper with a response. "Anyway, the game's over now that Gideon knows where I am. I won't do it again."

Dipper scoffed. "Yeah, sure. Why should we trust you?"

"Because," Bill said calmly, "if I do it again, you'll have to tell your uncles, and I'll be in serious trouble. So I won't... and therefore, you won't. Right?"

Dipper frowned, but looked at Mabel. Mabel was considering Bill with her hands on her hips. She prompted, "Aaand...?"

It took Bill a moment to figure out what she was aiming for. "And I've realized I was mean and I'm very remorseful for my hurtful actions."

Mabel pointed at him. "That's what I wanna hear!" She looked at Dipper. "I think we can let him off with a warning."

Dipper shook his head in resignation.

Mabel said, "But you're not stopping there, Bill."

"How's that?"

"Come on, man, think!" She poked her finger against her temple. "You know the answer! We just watched this episode yesterday!"

"Episode?" Dipper asked.

"I've been using Color Critters to teach him social skills."

Bill said, "I have social skills, all you're doing is showing me what'll be on the test."

"That's how learning works, dummy! I wanna hear you regurgitate that textbook answer!"

Bill opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and pantomimed sticking his finger down his throat and gagging; but then he said, with a blatantly artificial chipper tone, "'If we hurt our friends, we should try to find a way to make it up to them and make sure it can't happen again.'" 

"That's right! 98 points! I'm taking two off for attitude."

"So how do you expect me to make it up to him? I can't exactly un-send him a letter. Unless you're gonna loan me that time tape—"

"Stop asking for the time tape," Dipper said, "it'll never happen."

Bill shrugged. "Then what do you suggest."

"Figure it out yourself," Mabel said. "You're the one who's gotta make it up to Gideon, not us."

Bill rolled his eye. "Is this part of the terms to buy your silence?"

"Yeah, it is."

"All right, fine." Bill sighed and stood up. "Give me a bit to brainstorm. I'll be upstairs." He meandered out of the room.

Mabel called after him, "You better not think you're wiggling out of this!"

"Relax! I won't disappoint you, Shooting Star. Promise."

Once he was out of earshot, Dipper turned to Mabel. "How do you expect him to make it up to Gideon?"

"He should say 'sorry.'"

Dipper nodded. Okay, sure, that sounded reasonable. "How long do you think it'll take for him to think of apologizing?"

"I'd give it a couple of hours."

####

(If you recognize the dealership being parodied, we now share a warrior's bond. Anyway hope y'all enjoyed, I've been looking forward to introducing Gideon for a long time! As always, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts and comments on the chapter!)

[exhaslo]

Hii idk if you’re taking requests or not but I’m sorry if you aren’t!! I just wanted to see if u could maybe do a small smut story that still takes place in puzzle pieces and it’s basically where Miguel got really pissed & in sm stress because of some idiot and he accidentally hurts his shy wifey :,(( so he decides to make it up to her by literally giving her one of the best nights of her life and just gives her his baby yk 🤗

*TAGS ENTIRE PUZZLE PIECES TAGLIST*

Now, I won't ever say no to some extra Puzzle Pieces content, hehe.

Warning: MINORS DNI, smut, p in v, mentions of abuse, language, soft sex, oral (f receiving) , rough sex, creampie, overstimulation, praise, fluff

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It had been a very rough day for Miguel. From Alchemax to his mafia, there had been nothing but a slew of bad news. It had been two months since the Venom incident, yet for some reason the accursed drug still tormented the streets.

Come to find out that one of Eddie's followers took on his role, giving a new gang to rise called Carnage. Miguel was furious at the situation given to him. Especially since Carnage had gone out of his way to kill one of his trusted men.

"¡Mierda! ¡Cuántas tonterías tengo que soportar! (Fuck! The amount of bullshit I have to deal with!)" Miguel roared at the top of his lungs.

Then, Alchemax had to put some icing on the cake, and get a lab blown up. Several idiot scientists were in the hospital all because they decided to take a risk Miguel told them not too. The worst part was that Miguel couldn't fire them yet. He had to wait until all of the legal bullshit flew over.

"Miguel?" You whispered.

Miguel was consumed with rage that he didn't even hear his poor little fiancé. You were standing in the corner, watching Miguel's fit. This was the not the first time you've seen him mad, but at the same time, he had never gotten this mad before.

"Fuck! Those fucking-"

Miguel yelled once more as he grabbed the closest thing to him and tossed it. He needed to let out his anger somehow.

"Ah!" You cried.

Upon hearing your terrified yelp, Miguel snapped out of his state of anger. He quickly rushed to your side, seeing you bend down and shaking. His eyes widen towards your fear. Immediately scooping you up, Miguel whispered apologizes.

"Mi conejita, (My bunny), I'm so so sorry," He whispered, kissing your head as he brought you to the couch, "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell and-"

Miguel's eyes soften as he saw a small cut on your shoulder. He glanced back towards the glass he threw. Cussing quietly, Miguel kissed your cut repeatedly.

"Mi amor (my love), I won't ask for you to forgive me-"

"I-It's...o-okay," You whimpered softly. Miguel frowned as he kissed your tears away,

"It's not. I hurt you in my fit of rage."

"B-But y-you weren't...m-mad at m-me," You tried to reassure him. Miguel gently bit your hand before kissing it,

"I promise I'll take my rage elsewhere." He whispered, kissing you once more then your cut, "I never, ever, want you to be afraid of me. You don't ever need to be afraid again."

"Miggy,"

You were still trembling, but knew Miguel meant well. He had never hurt you before and will never. This was just an accident that he was taking to heart. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you smiled as you felt him kiss your cut more.

"M-Miguel..." You whispered, getting cozy.

Miguel picked you up and took you to your shared bedroom. His kisses were nonstop as he laid you against the bed. His large grip, holding you gently as you spread you legs for him. Miguel inhaled deeply to your gesture.

"Such a good girl for me," He groaned, kissing your neck, "Let me make up for my foolish behavior. Give my precious wife the best night of her life."

"M-Miguel!" You squeaked, feeling his hands take off your sweatpants, "I-I-I..." You covered your face, feeling flustered.

"Am the best? Am too good for me?" Miguel filled in your words as he placed his head under your shirt, kissing up your stomach.

"Ah~ M-Mig~"

You trembled as Miguel took off your shirt. His kisses leading up to your breasts, back to the small cut on your shoulder. Miguel's hands were all over you, stroking each part of your body until you stopped shaking.

The warmth of his hands, begging your body for forgiveness. Miguel inhaled to the soft sound of your moans as he grinded his bulge against your panties. Your body arching against his hips, whimpering and whining for more friction.

"I'm sorry, Mi conejita (my bunny). I won't ever harm you," Miguel whispered as he groped your breasts.

"Mhpm~ I-I know....y-you didn't mean it," You cried, feeling your core burning up, desperate for release, "I-I-I'll a-always, ah~ ah~ M-Miguel~"

You arched your back, crying out your first of many orgasms. Taking a moment to catch your breathe, you squirmed and whimpered as Miguel took your damp panties off. He kissed your nipples, humming lowly as he bend down.

You tried to stop Miguel, wanting to hold him, but gasped loudly as you already felt his tongue against your clit. You gripped against the bedsheets, moaning his name as Miguel feasted. This was always his way of spoiling you after a rough day.

Though you had to question if it was more enjoyable for you or him.

Your body was shaking as Miguel held your hips in place. His tongue ravishing your pour clit and pussy. Your vision had begun to blur once more as you felt your high returning. With a curl of your toes and another grip against the bedsheets, you cam once more.

"Good girl," Miguel blew against your cunt, watching you twitch, "My precious good girl."

You shuddered and whined as Miguel returned to licking your clit. His tongue lapping up the mess you made. You were already overstimulated, unable to handle the amount of pleasure you were receiving now.

"M-Mig! M-Miggy!" You whined, riding his face, "P-Please..."

"Anything,"

Miguel hummed as he gave your pussy a break to give you a deep kiss. Your adorable fucked out expression just eager for more. With swift movement, Miguel slowly pressed his dick inside your tight gummy walls.

"Ah~"

"See how hard you make me?" Miguel hummed, kissing your small wound once more, "I am yours and you are mine."

"Mhm~ Y-Yes~" You gasped, holding onto Miguel as he rested his hips against yours.

"My beautiful wife," Miguel grunted as he pulled out slowly before hitting you deep, "Taking me in so well."

You gasped and moaned as Miguel took his time. Your pussy fluttering and gushing around his cock with each slow and rough thrust. Miguel kept kissing your body, whispering nothing but praises as he took you nice and slow.

"Such a good girl. Does my little bunny enjoy this? Shall I keep going slow?" Miguel asked with a tease, enjoying your blissed out expression.

"Y-Yes~ Ah~ Hah~ F-Fill me, p-please." You begged, babbling your moans like a cock drunk mess.

"Fill you? Do you want to make me a daddy?" Miguel said with a light chuckle as he got hard at the thought, "Wanna be a mommy, mi amor?"

"Ah~ Y-Yes! Yes!" You cried another orgasm, feeling your mind doze off.

Miguel felt a shiver run down his spine. His grin widen as he held your hips and placed your on your knees. Miguel kissed your back as he started to pound your pussy from behind. The loud slapping noises of your juices against his dick and your moans were consuming the room.

"My wife wants a baby. I shall give it to you," Miguel chuckled, nibbling against your ear as he ravished your hole.

"Ah~ Ah~"

Your face was pressed into the pillow as you moaned to each thrust. His hot seed filling your womb, causing you to gush and cum against his dick. Drool rolled down your mouth as Miguel kept his ruthless pace, praising you constantly.

"Awe, look your womb is swallowing my cum. Now this is a way to end such a shitty day," Miguel groaned as he placed you on your back, "Giving my wife a baby."

You arched your back, your mouth forming an 'o' as you felt Miguel's dick rub against your sweet spot. Words unable to form as you just whimpered and moaned to his thrusts. Miguel pulled you into his embrace as he held you in mating position, fucking you senselessly,

"I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much,"

You would repeat, but you were so cock drunk that you weren't paying attention. With another orgasm, you fell unconscious.

--------

You awoke the next day, sore and exhausted. Miguel had washed you up and put on your most comfortable pajamas-his clothes. You smiled weakly towards the water and pain killers on the side table. There was also a note and you felt a bandage on your shoulder.

"Hehe, Miggy," You cooed, finding your soon to be husband so overprotective.

As you laid on your back, you started to recall last night's passionate sex. Your face turned bright red as you started to remember begging Miguel to fill you and him assuming you wanting a baby. You covered your face into the pillow, squealing lowly.

"M-Maybe....we....we could....k-keep trying...f-for one."

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@migueloharacumslut @18lkpeters @deputy-videogamer @leahnicole1219 @synamonthy @thedevax @jolynesposts @thraetor @freehentai @2099hitmylineyline @vvampir3s @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @secretadmirerisnowonline @jadeloverxd @bunnibitez @oharasfilipinawife @randomgoosegame @lilbanas @daisy-artfield @axi-moore @mimiemie @darkfairy102190 @jazzyj1011 @mcmiracles @innercreationflower @spoderssimp @thel0velykey190 @moonvoidpng @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @scaleniusrm @love4saturn @nyxgoddessofchaos13 @slutty-chronicles @ghstypaint @migueloharastruelove @brainmatterdump @a060403 @trendyharold @yannauauau @kimivixen @angel-xx-1 @nxrdamp @miguelzslvtz @lynxslokley @wafflefries786 @pochapo @what-the-jams @flaps200 @ii-angelsrolltheireyes-ii @nakimushiohime @tojishugetiddies @aya-world @supercowgirl04 @mysteris-things @daisy-artfield @mcmiracles @alexa4040 @llama--drama @kpopscoups17130000 @havkjhdecs @ruexvn @tojishugetiddi @openup-yourmind @black-swan-blog27 @xstarsdiary @kiddisquacking @gachagator @yujyujj @emmyrxx @blackteamint @sockears @black-swan-blog27 @soraya-daydreams @byjessicalotufo @nanoinn @bunnibitez @aockskcw @l3laze @dimitri-needs-therapy

[untoldstar]

male yandere! farmer x fem! spoiled city girl reader [Introduction]

lowkey hate this but I still love the concept.

This is based on an ask I got but since it’ll. e jumbled if I put everything in one post I’ll be posting it in parts so as much as it pains me to say this..no yandere shenanigans in this post<:33

You were spending the summer at a farm and you were absolutely dreading it.

You have been living, in your words, the high life but in your fathers words irresponsibly. Going out every night, partying, spending money on stupid things, and it seemed like you were only interested in going to college because of the parties your classmates host. Frankly, your father has had enough of it.

In the middle of his lecture, he had the bright idea to call up an old friend who owns a farm and ask him for a favor, and from the expression on his face you already knew it was something dreadful.

Turns out it was to have you work for him for the summer. To toughen you up a bit. Teach you some responsibility just so you could be a little more mature when you come back (and maybe not turn him penniless like you're about to with the way you're living).

His friend, which you learned his name was Blaze, didn't mind. In fact, he was happy to have an extra set of hands to help around.

Naturally, you threw a fit. You tried every trick in the book you even gave your best puppy eyes and promised not to spend too much money anymore, you would even stop going to so many parties!

Nonetheless..you ended up packing your bags when the day came.

You slammed the passenger door shut and made your way to the cars trunk to get your bags. You could hear both men exchange warm welcomes and rave over how long it's been.

You roll your eyes. A little more and they'll be going down memory lane over coffee.

Your father turns to you when you make it to his side, his face still pleasantly beaming. It was honestly freaking you out "Ah! honey, say hello to my friend, Blaze. He'll take good care of you here." You offer him a tight-lipped smile and shake his hand. You immediately remove yourself from the conversation as your eyes take in the scenery. A large field you can't even tell where it ends. Within it, a house is close to where you're all standing, not small, not too big while the barn is a little further away. You also see a dark blue truck parked close by. You don't see any of the animals yet. He must have animals right? You wince as you think of dealing with their waste.

And the heat. The heat. You have a small tube top and shorts on which would be lovely back in your city but here it does absolutely nothing to help with the intense heat.

Too distracted by your torment, you don't notice Blaze's eyes glancing in your direction every few seconds as he talks to your father taking in every detail of you. Smooth skin, soft hair, delicate hands that haven't worked a day in their life. He honestly doesn't think you'll last a day.

"Well! I'll be off then." You snap out of your daze "Oh. Okay then." You reply curtly. You're being petty and you don't care "Come now don't have that look on your face, lighten up will you? Don't give Blaze too much trouble" with that he makes his way to the car and you almost tear up watching him drive off.

Blaze clears his throat "Here let me help you with your stuff." He leads the way to his house and already you can tell how awkward this is going to be "I take it you're not familiar with working in a farm?" you only offer a small shake of your head "That shouldn't be a problem, you know I didn't wake up one day and decided to milk a cow. I had to learn and work every day...Not just that but everything else, of course." He clears his throat and you giggle. His shoulders relax a bit upon the sounds. You too enter his house and he sets your luggage down "Right, let me give you a tour, yeah?"

He leads you throughout the entire house, which doesn't take long considering its size, he leaves your room for last "This is where you'll be sleeping, this room doesn't have a lock yet but if you want I can install one for ya." you only nod and head inside and shut the door behind you.

What the fuck?

Blaze blinks then huffs knocking on the door "Hey uh- If you're tired from the trip we can start tomorrow at dawn" He looks down as he patiently waits for your response "Yeah that would be great!" He sighs. He doubts you had plans to start today anyway.

Blaze finally walks away from your door rubbing his neck 'Lets hope this runs by smoothly..'

Turns out, he had..a few things to worry about.

The first day was a pain, for both of you, but he'd argue it was more of a pain for him.

"You do it!"

"I'm supposed to be teaching you." he replies gruffly

"What if she bites my hand off?"

"She's a horse you're not feeding a lion- look just put the carrot closer to her mouth." he guides your hand closer and his heart skips a beat. So soft. Your hands were so soft-

He clears his throat "There, it'll just start eating it, it's fine if a little dribble gets on your hand." You grimace and he clicks his tongue "Oi, stop being a brat, a little drool is the least you should be worried about while working here." You whine "Can I just be in charge of feeding Stella here instead?" He crosses his arms "No can do sweetheart." You only pout and continue feeding the horse not noticing how the corners of Blaze's mouth lift slightly.

You kept running off from your chores to play with Clyde (his dog) and of course, he was chasing you around like a babysitter trying to get you to finish your work.

It was truly a nightmare when you had to clean after the animals. You were gagging, whining, he was honestly convinced you were going to start bawling at that point it was quite amusing.

After that, it seemed you were a bit desensitized from that experience and you were managing the rest of the chores with few complaints but for your sake, he won't mention how he heard you cussing out your father while you were cleaning the barn.

When you were finally done with everything the sun was beginning to set. You wanted more than anything to fall face-first into your bed but you stunk and you desperately needed a shower.

When you're done you open the door only to bump into Blaze "Oh, sorry.' You squeeze past him and continue your way to your room not noticing the shade of red Blaze's face turned in your wake.

His pants tighten and the scent of your shampoo and body wash wafting from the bathroom doesn't help.

Yeah..a few things he has to worry about

[random-thot-generator]

Reverse trope prompt: Fake amnesia

Full prompt list here by @out-of-jams

Soap x reader

Maybe? NSFW - Soap gets a wee bit handsy with reader, nothing sexually explicit, profanity, soap is a sneaky lil shit

dividers by: @saradika-graphics

"Where's me bonnie lass?"

"She's comin', lad," Price murmurs, giving Soap's shoulder a gentle pat. He squats down beside his wheelchair to peer into his sergeant's eyes. "Ya feelin' alright? Head hurtin' ya?"

Soap squints at his captain, suspicious. "Oi! Yer no' another one o' them doctors, are ye? Feckin' numpties willnae leave me alone."

Price sighs, shakes his head and stands. "No, lad. I'm— just visitin'."

Soap's face splits into a grin. "Oh. Well, tha's a'right, then. Dinnae mind visitors. Do ye ken tha' big bloke tha' wears a skelly mask? 'E comes t'visit meh, too." Soap leans in, voice dipping low. " Bit of an odd duck, tha' one. Tol' meh 'e was a ghost." His eyebrows arch high on his forehead. "An' the docs say I'm th'one wit' brain damage."

Price huffs a short laugh despite himself. "That's his callsign, lad. Do ya remember yours?"

"Callsign?" Soap repeats, looking confused.

"Never mind. 'S not important right now."

Soap nods, his eyes trailing back to the door. "'Ave ye seen the gas man about? Mehbeh he kens where me lass is."

"Gas man?" Price mutters, frowning, then understanding dawns. "Ah. Ya mean Gaz. He's uh— at work. Won't be around for a few days, I'm afraid."

"Oh. Tha's too bad. 'E's good at findin' m'lass fer meh." He raises a hand to scratch at the scar tissue on the side of his head. "Doan s'pose ye'd be willin' t'ave a look 'round fer 'er, would ye? Ah miss 'er." His blue eyes shine bright and luminous with hope.

Price nods, chuckling. "A'course, lad. I'll see if I can find her f'ya."

Price turns on the telly for him before he leaves, flipping it to a cartoon channel. Soap's loud guffaw follows him out into the hallway. Passing the nurses' station, he gives a nod to a couple of the nurses as he heads towards the cafeteria, where he last saw you. He breathes a sigh of relief when he spots you sitting with Ghost, a cup of tea in your hands.

You watch the captain's approach, taking in his expression, then grimace. His look is apologetic when he murmurs, "He's askin' f'ya, again, lass."

"Bloody hell," you mutter, squeezing your eyes shut as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

Ghost grunts, eyes narrowing. "Funny, tha'. Johnny can't remember any'a us, but he's got no problem remembering 'er?" He tilts his head. "Bit strange, innit?"

Price shrugs. "Hard t'say, with an injury like that. Docs say he might regain some of his memory, he might not. No way t'tell."

You sigh, turning your weary gaze on Ghost. "His memory of me isn't perfect, either, ya know? You remember how he used to give me hell all the time. Now he thinks I'm his bloody girlfriend, for Chrissakes! He told Gaz we were engaged yesterday. It's bloody mental."

Ghost hums but says no more.

Blowing out a tired breath, you push yourself up from your chair. "Guess I better get back up there before he comes looking for me again. Thought that head nurse was going to string those other poor nurses up by their heels when Johnny gave 'em the slip."

Price laughs lowly. "And in a wheelchair, no less. Made it all the way to the exit before they caught up with him."

Ghost grunts as he stands, shuffling away from the table to join you. "I'll go wiff ya. Johnny might behave himself better if I'm there."

You snort at that. "Yeah, right. Might as well restrain him, because he won't keep his hands to himself, I can promise ya that."

As soon as you enter Soap's room, he beams a huge smile, his arms up, grabby hands reaching for you. "There ye are! C'mere, bonnie. Gie us a hug."

You point at him, a stern expression on your face. "Promise you'll behave, first. No feeling me up this time."

He gazes up at you, looking like a whipped pup. "Ayre ye mad at me, bon? Did I do somethin' bad? Ah'm sorry."

His pitiful pout melts your resolve instantly. "I'm not mad at you, Johnny. Don't get upset. Everything's alright," you soothe, voice soft as you step close to smooth your hand over his shaggy mohawk.

Ghost doesn't miss the mischievous little flash in Soap's eyes before he grins and grabs you by the hips, pulling you into his lap. You yelp, trying to be careful of his head as you try to push his face from between your breasts. The man doesn't let up, wallowing you like a fussy toddler, his big hands holding you in place. You give another yelp when he gets hold of your ass cheek and squeezes.

"Oi, ya cheeky git," Ghost barks. "Yer bein' too rough!"

Soap cuts a sly glance his way before settling his chin on your chest, smiling sweetly up at you. "Ah dinnae hurt ye, did I, bon?"

You sigh, flustered, trying to be patient. "No, Johnny. You just— startled me." You puff out a breath, prying his hand off your ass.

Soap gives Ghost a smug little smirk, hugging you so tight, you squeak. "See, LT? Ah wasnae bein' too rough. Ah jus' startled 'er."

You lay a hand on his cheek to get his attention back, melting a little more at the open adoration in his gaze. "You should still be more careful, Johnny," you chide him gently. "You get excited and grab my bum too hard sometimes. You leave bruises."

He perks up at that. "Aye? Bruises, ye say? Can ye show me? Ah promise t'kiss 'em all better."

You can't help but laugh. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

Soap nuzzles your chest and grins. "Aye, but ye love meh anyway, doan ye, bon?"

You only manage to escape when one of the nurses finally comes in to give Soap his medication and check his vitals. You scurry out the door, looking a right mess, disheveled and breathing heavy, mumbling something about getting some water.

Ghost stands by quietly as the nurse takes Johnny's vitals, eyeing him intently the whole time. Once she exits the room, Soap turns a guileless expression to his lieutenant. "Somethin' the matter, Mr. Ghost?"

Ghost huffs a laugh, shaking his head. "Give it up, Johnny. Ya fucked up, mate. She didn't catch it, but I did." He comes closer, leaning down to whisper at Soap's ear, "Or did ya jus' suddenly remember I'm yer LT?"

He chuckles lowly when Soap sucks in a sharp breath. He straightens back to his full height, looming over the now worried looking Scot.

"I'll keep m'mouth shut, so long as ya come clean wiff the captain. Poor sod's been worryin' 'imself sick over ya."

"A'right," Soap grumbles, bottom lip poking out.

You return moments later, a bottle of water in one hand, a pudding cup and spoon in the other.

"Look what I nicked for ya, Johnny. Butterscotch pudding. Your favorite."

He gives you a hangdog look. "Can we lay in bed while ye feed it t'meh? Ah'm feelin' a wee bit tired."

"Sure, love. Ghost, will ya help me get him in the bed?"

Ghost helps put him to bed without comment, but pins the sergeant with a knowing look while you're climbing into bed with him.

Soap slants a mischievous look up at his lieutenant, teeth flashing in a quick grin, and winks.

[mncxbe]

pls pls pls can i pls ask for a part 3 of taking a bath with them ??? maybe with fyodor nikolai and sigma ??? i LOVED the other two parts you made , they are amazing !

TYSM I'm so happy to hear that and yes of course I'll make a DoA part. I romanticized Fyodor so much oh my I loved writing his part. Hope you enjoy dear♡ also tysm for 150 followers love you guys

Taking a bath with them♡ p3

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓, 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂, 𝑵𝒊𝒌𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff/ slight smut♡

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: mentions of drowning in Nikolai's part but it's silly

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓

due to his occupation he has to change hideouts/ houses quite often so y'all always use your tub.

not a big fan of bubbles but enjoys herbal scented oils

due to his anemia Fyodor can't handle really hot baths so the water is lukewarm most of the times

he's usually the one who pampers you, but after a harsh day he may let you wash his back and hair (let's be honest he needs it)

play some classical music, light a candle and brew him a cup of tea and he's all yours for the rest of the night

may not show it all the time but he's so grateful for spending time like this with you

It was around 10 p.m and you were getting ready to sleep when you heard a faint knock on your door.

"Yes?" you asked quietly as not to disturb the neighbours; the walls in your apartment building tended to be quite thin.

"It's me, my love" spoke the man from the other side.

You immediately unlocked the door and let your boyfriend inside, throwing your arms around his neck. "I missed you so much Fedya" you said in a sweet voice, gaining a chuckle from him.

Fyodor caressed the small of your back with his gloved hands, gently squeezing the plush of your hips "There, there darling. Thanks for letting me in."

"Of course"

You stepped away from him, giving him space to undress. Watching him stuggle to untie his shoelaces and hang his hoat, you couldn't help but notice how exhausted he looked.

"Tough day at work?" you asked, raising a brow.

"Yes, my love." he confessed, trying to keep his composure. Fyodor was still in the process of learning to be vulnerable around you so he tried to keep up appearances most of the time. Yet, he could not fool you.

"Would you like me to fix a bath for us? It'll help you wind down a little."

"That would be most wonderful, my dearest." he nodded, trying to suppress the smile that rose to his lips.

"Alright. Just give me a moment."

Around twenty minutes later the bath was finally ready. You had filled the tub to the brim with tepid water and threw in a few drops of his favourite essential oils: wintergreen and sweet orange.

"Mm it smells amazing sweetheart" he stated as he entered the bathroom. A slight smirk made his way to his lips when he saw you in the tub. "But I may love the sight of you even more"

He quickly took off his clothes and joined you, silently enjoying the pink tint that stained your cheeks.

After a few minutes in the water Fyodor started getting sleepy so he let his head fall back and closed his eyes. The sweet fragrance of the oils was soothing his senses and the water was just warm enough to relax his tense muscles.

He suddenly opened his eyes when he felt you shift closer to him. "Come on, Fedya, let me wash your hair."

Normally he would refuse, but considering his state he couldn't muster up the energy to say no. He simply turned his back to you, relishing the feeling of your lithe fingers gently massaging his scalp; at some point you started slowly humming a familiar melody. His shoulders jolted faintly at the sound of your voice.

"Ah, дорогая. I didn't know you liked Tchaikovsky."

"Well, I'm starting to enjoy classical music. I wonder why." you teased, placing a kiss on his cheek. You quickly rinsed off the shampoo and conditioned his hair before washing his back and shoulders. Tonight, your boyfriend was more quiet than usual but you didn't mind it; simply having him by your side again was enough.

"And you're all done" you informed him as you washed away the remainings of soap. "Ready to go to bed now?"

Fyodor nodded and got up, wrapping a towl around himself. "Thank you, my dearest." he said as he helped you out of the tub "I cherish you with all my heart."

"It's really nothing, мой любимый." you replied, struggling to pronounce the foreign words correctly.

Your partner chuckled and gently stroked your head; his violet eyes were gleaming with pride. "I see you're also learning Russian. Я горжусь тобой"

"Er... I didn't get that far yet." you babbled shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behing your ear. Fyodor's lips curled into a smile.

"I said I'm proud of you~"

Once you were in bed your partner's arms snaked around your waist, pulling you into a tight embrace. He thanked you again for sharing this moment with him and showed his gratitude by leaving a trail of feathery kisses along your neck.

"Mm Fedya let's go sleep. It's late" you whispered, attempting to conceal the hint of desire in your voice.

"All right, my love. But I'd like to ask you one more thing before." he chuckled lightly

"What is it?"

"Sing me some more next time we do this."

𝑵𝒊𝒌𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒊

this man's bathroom is full of mirrors you cannot change my mind; the floor has those black and white tiles and the tub is in the middle of the room

doesn't mind bubble baths but he has a strange fascination for bath bombs

he is so handsy oml

every five minutes he's like "Riddle me this, dove" and begins to tell you all sorts of silly riddles

performs magic tricks for you if you ask him

"Kolya... I think that's enough". For the past ten minutes you've been watching your lover throw bath bomb after bath bomb in your square shaped tub.

"Nah one more dove I promise I'll be done." He spoke the words in his usual perky voice, without averting his gaze from the fizzy bubbles that rose to the surface. The water was coloured in a hue of pink, red and purple, resembling the twilight sky.

"Alright dove, hop in" he finally said before sliding in the ceramic tub.

You carefully slipped out of the silk robe that you were wearing and joined your boyfriend; as you were about to seat yourself, he swiftly hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you into his lap, deliberately pressing you against his pelvis.

"Oh take care pretty girl. You're going to get me all riled up" he snickered, running his fingers up and down your thigh.

"Aha so it's my fault now" you teased, narrowing your eyes at him.

He flashed you a suggestive smile before resting his chin on your shoulder; your eyes started darting around the room. No matter how many times you took a bath in Nikolai's bathroom you could never get used to the eerie atmosphere: the walls were covered in mirrors, making you lose the sense of space.

The biggest mystery was the source of light; the room was dimly lit, the golden light seeminly coming from the mirrors themselves.

"A magician doesn't reveal his tricks, dove" stated your partner whenever you asked him about the strange luminescence.

This time was no different. The feeling of nervousness was starting to take over you, your heart beating faster. The sudden change in your demeanour caused your partner to giggle.

"Aww is my little dove getting anxious? Now we can't have that let me help you relax a little"

His lithe digits gently squeeze the upper part of your thigh, moving closer to your core. You tried to seize his wrist but he stopped you.

"Nuh uh dolly. Be good and stay still for me, will you?" he purred, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear.

Your cheeks began to bloom with colour at his daring words, but you laid back against his chest.

"Good" he chuckle, resuming his movements. His thumb brushed over your clit, gaining a soft moan from you. Nikolai's ministrations continued for a couple of minutes, his needy hands not leaving any part of you untouched; his lips trailed along your neck, leaving lovebites and sweet kisses.

Your tense muscles slowly began to relax, every tender touch leaving you yearning for more. Your breath hitched when his digits finally slid along your folds, lightly parting them before...

"That's about enough, my dove. You're going to get all wrinkly if we don't get out of the water."

"Nah, just a few more minutes please" you whined, drawing his hand close to your core again.

"Look how impatient you are now, how cute. I'll give you more when we get to bed" he cooed, gently pinching your cheek.

You still insisted on staying a few more minutes, just to spite him; but he ultimately agreed.

"I'm surprised you agreed to take a bath with me again. Considering what happened last time..." he eventually said

"What? Oh yea you tried to drown me in this fizzy water."

"Yes, I did" he snickered as he placed his index finger under your chin and made you face him. "But you know why I stopped?"

You shook your head, holding his loving gaze; his eyes bore a shadow of longing.

"Well, my little dove, I decided to be selfish for once in my life. I figured that loving you in captivity is better than hoping that our dead souls will be bound for all eternity."

𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂

it takes a while to convince him to bathe with you, but he'll do whatever it takes to please you

has both a regular tub and a jacuzzi in his casino

he treats you like a queen and blushes so hard when he sees you naked for the first time

Sigma doesn't have much free time so the baths don't usually last long, but he makes the most of that time

lets you wash and braid his hair and is incredibly fond of lavender and vanilla scented candles

You liked the sky casino: with its glitz and sophisticated night life. Seemingly a pretty normal place during the day, the casino turned into an airborne Sin City at night. The crystal chandeliers were all gleaming, music was roaring, drinks were poured and guests wearing glamorous garments walked the hallways of the gambling house till the sun came up.

But what you loved most about the casino was its manager. You don't remember exactly when the two of you got this close, but Sigma was now one of the people you cherished most in life. He was a caring boyfriend and although he didn't have much free time on his hands he always managed to spend a couple of hours with you every day.

Tonight he prepared a bath for the two of you. When you entered the bathroom adjoining your bedroom, you were instantly struck by the light scent of lavender.

Sigma was crouching next to the tub, testing the water.

"Hey honey" you chuckled "What are you doing?"

His head snapped towards you at the sound of your voice. "Oh, hi Y/N. I got a bath ready for us. Will you join me?"

He extended a hand for you and, before taking it, you quickly stripped off your cocktail dress and tip toed to him. Although you were still wearing your lingerie, your boyfriend's face turned a pretty shade of pink. He carefully twirled you around once, admiring your figure.

"Gorgeous as ever, darling" he smiled as he briefly pulled you into a hug. "Now get in the tub before the water turns cold, okay?"

You stepped out of your undergarments while he took off his clothes and soon you were both immersed in the scented water.

The night sky was visible through the large window of the bathroom; it was tinged an inky black, like the depths of the sea. The stars always appeared washed out from the ground, but up here they gleamed like sapphires.

You ran your fingers through Sigma's silky hair, gently separating it into strands.

"What are you doing back there?" he asked playfully, trying to turn to face you.

"Stay still, hon. I'm just braiding your hair."

You entwined his white and lilac curls, forming a beautiful pattern. During this time your partner was anxiously checking his clock.

"Do you need to leave already?" you asked in an understanding tone.

"Not yet. But some important guests will be arriving tomorrow at noon and I haven't managed to learn anything about them yet."

"Oh don't worry darling. You'll do great"

"I suppose..." he muttered.

After finishing his last braid, you spun him around so that you were facing each other. Your arms snaked around his neck and you pressed his forehead against yours.

"Listen to me, love. You're incredible at your job but you work too much. Take some time to relax, ok? You deserve it more than anyone."

You spoke tenderly, placing feathery kisses all over his face. Sigma's hands grabbed the plush of your hips, pulling your body closer to his and kissed you. He wasn't usually the one to initiate such saccharine affections, so his boldness took you by surprise. Nevetheless you indulged him, your manicured nails languidly grazing the back of his neck.

Your partner deepened the kiss as a response to your actions and tugged you impossibly close to him. Whenever Sigma kissed you, you saw the starry sky behind your closed eyes.

The tender moment was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sir?" spoke a man in meek voice "I know you've specifically requested not to be disturbed tonight, but you are needed in the game room. There's been a misunderstanding between two players."

"I'll be there in a moment" Sigma responded, trying his best to conceal the annoyance in his voice. The steps of the valet soon faded in the distance.

"I'm sorry I have to go so soon, love. I promise I'll make it up to you"

"There's no need, my angel." you hummed "I'll wait for you in bed, okay?"

He nodded eagerly before stepping out of the tub; you watched him dry himself with the white towels you kept under the sink and hurriedly put on his clothes. His heels clicked against the tiled floor as he made his way to the door.

"See you soon!" he chimed, closing the door with a thud.

After your partner had left, your gaze turned once again to the infinite blackness beyond the window. Then and there, your realized that you were in face a night sky too; and your lover was the multitude of stars that made you shine bright like a diamond.

[silentgravesdontexist]

My first headcanon. I meant it to be quick and short, I swear. But my fingers wouldn't stop so here it is:

Potgas D. Ace x GN! Reader

CW: smoking(?) /// fluff

Word Count: 897

Imagine Ace as someone who occasionally smokes cigarettes. He's no Sanji but still smokes every now and then just to soothe his nerves a bit. Here comes, you, a crewmate who has a sensitive nose— so sensitive that you can smell the cigarette before seeing it. And you hate the smell of it. You're unaware of the fact that you scrunch your nose whenever you smell it, which makes you look like you're irritated.

Ace, who has a crush on you, is unaware of your sensitive nose assumes the worst whenever you make that face when he approaches you after a smoke. All he notices is the look of irritation and distance you put between the both of you whenever he comes near. Your responses are short as if you want to end the conversation. He's confused because you normally act friendly and even a bit affectionate with the others— so why not him? Of course, he's going to assume you hate him. Maybe you find him irritating or annoying.

One day, after a gruelling sparring session with some of the commanders, he takes a shower before going to the mess hall for dinner (he hasn't smoked just yet but plans to after the meal). You're carrying a tray of your meal and wandering around trying to spot an empty seat. The only one available at the time was beside Ace. You notice he doesn't smell like smoke which is slightly surprising because the smell usually lingers on him long after. So, you approach and ask him if you can eat with him.

Immediately, he feels overly paranoid and conscious when you sit down. Is it just him or are you closer than usual? No, he must be overthinking it. But since you're already there, he might as well as make the most of it and strike a conversation. That's when he starts to doubt himself even more. You were engaging a lot more than usual— at least he thinks so. You didn't have that scrunch in your nose as if you were irritated. Hell, you even laughed at his jokes. You were smiling as if you were genuinely enjoying his company.

He now thinks he's going insane. His heart is racing a mile a minute. He knew you looked adorable when you smiled and laughed from afar. But to smile and laugh because of him? Oh, gods, have mercy on the man's heart. He'd listen to your laugh on repeat and knew that he'd probably fall asleep with your smile as his last thought. Maybe, if he's lucky, he'll even dream about it.

"Someone's in a good mood," He asks. A charming smile on his face as he regards you affectionately. There's that certain kind of warmth in his eyes that makes you blush. "Did something good happen? You seem a lot more...friendly." Suddenly feeling flustered, he'll scratch the underside of his jaw a bit. His gaze flickered away as if suddenly feeling anxious in your presence.

After a bit of back and forth, you tell him that it's probably because he doesn't smell like smoke at the moment. You meant it half-heartedly. But the freckled man has his eyes wide. Now, he's sputtering questions as if it's only now that he's putting the pieces together. He realizes that he's gotten so used to the smell that he doesn't notice it most of the time. Ace lets out a good-natured laugh. It isn't meant to mock you.

"Ah, I thought you hated me because you always had that look on your face whenever I was around." He chuckles and shakes head. With a wide grin, he turns to you. A dimple on his cheek, eyes bright and warm. It makes your heart skip a beat. You stumble on your words a bit to explain yourself.

"Then, I'll take it that you'll like me more if I don't smell like I just smoked a whole pack of cigarettes?" Ace asks, the wording intentional, and he adores the way it makes you flustered. You nod and respond that you'd at least stop acting like you despised his presence.

Of course, the response makes him absolutely happy. He has a shit-eating grin on his face as he continues to devour his meal while talking to you. Gods, has he ever mentioned he loved your smile? The way your eyes light up so breathtakingly when you talk about something you liked? How he loved hearing your voice as you go about anything and everything? No? There.

Ace had so much fun chatting away with you during meal, he even forgot to smoke after the meal. He escorted you back to your quarters. And once that door was closed, he was fist-bumping in the air excitedly while walking down the hallway. A smile so bright he looked like he found the map to the greatest treasure of all time (your heart— but that's too cheesy so ignore this).

Since then, he's become a lot more conscious of his smoking. Making sure he isn't doing it around you. Avoiding smoking at all when he knows he'll spot you on the deck doing your duties— just to make sure he'll get to be close to you. Oh, he'll never admit it, but it brightened his day when you hugged him and said he smells nice on time. He couldn't get that grin off his face for at least a week whenever he remembered it.

~~~~~

If you liked this and wanna read more, here's my masterlist!

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Slasher!Soap x Suicidal!Reader

For some reason he's back and acting sweeter than ever. You don't know what to make of it. Maybe this time you could convince him to finish what he started.

Slasher Masterlist

Warning: MDNI dark themes, dead dove, suicidal ideation, pred/prey dynamic, mention of murder and attempted murder, horny thoughts, dub-con behaviour, crude and objectifying language, harassment and torture, manipulation, lying, non-con elements, mention of fingering and giving head, fear mongering, roughhousing, taunting and baiting, threats of violence, threats of sexual violence, sorry if I missed any.

“Oh…” you halt your steps.

“What's wrong Dove?”

“You're trying to fix me,” the realisation suddenly hits you as the man holding your hand halts abruptly at your jarring words.

“What Dove?” Soap lets go of your hand so he can turn and face you fully. His glacier eyes pierce into your inquisitive ones but remain uncomfortably neutral. You could no longer see the crinkle of laughter in his eyes.

“You're trying to fix me,” you reiterate as you look at him incredulously. “You're trying to make me happy so you'd get a kick out of killing someone who wants to live.” You say it almost to yourself rather than at him.

Everything made sense now. You were so confused as to why he had showed up again. Or why he was in your apartment taking care of you while you studied for your last exam. Or why he was fussing so much about the food you were eating. You weren't going to lie being taken care of felt good but it felt disingenuous coming from him. Especially when you knew all about heinous acts he had committed. You wonder why you brushed past that so easily. He was too deceptive for his own good. It was easy to get lost in conversations when talking to him.

After the last incident you didn't think he'd want to come back to finish the job. Especially not when you had seen that expression on his face. Looking at him now you see his smile turn into a cold one as he picks at the cotton candy he bought you. You get a flash of his unnaturally sharp canines as the sugary goodness melts on his tongue. The same tongue that was lapping at your folds just a couple hours ago.

“Well there's no fun in killing the dead hen. Ah’ve told ye that already,” He circles you like a predator in the almost empty parking lot of this carnival. It was late and the rides were closed up and the remaining people were leaving in droves. It wasn't long until it was only the two of you left. Seeing no reason to put a front up anymore you also let your mask slip. Soap watches your lips turn down into a frown as your eyes take on the same dead expression you had when he had his hands first wrapped around your throat.

“I'm afraid you're wasting your time if you think you of all people could ‘fix’ me. I've long given up on getting better and you should too…” There's an awkward silence that follows your statement. Neither of you knowing what to say next.

“But if you want me to act the part of an unwilling participant in this game of yours I'll happily oblige.” You try not to come across as overly desperate, you know it would take the fun out of it for him. Soap pretends to contemplate your words as he finishes the last of your cotton candy while licking his fingers clean. Like a pervert he puts on a show for you. Much like when he had made you pass out from orgasms on the night he returned. Maybe if you hadn't refused to sleep he wouldn't have fingered you so hard that day. But it was no use dwelling on that right now. He does whatever he wants; it's not like you have much power to stop him.

“Ah don't appreciate being told what to do nor do ah appreciate being given a mercy kill to soothe my hunger. We do this on my terms or we don't do it at all…” Soap cocks his head to the side as he puts on his charming smile. The very same one that all of his previous victims likely succumbed to. Everyone except you it seems.

“And besides ah haven't met a single person who hasn't fallen for my charms and looks, ye just need to give it time.” You lose the softness in your voice as you go to speak again, your desperation bleeding through your frustration.

“Oh your upset you got played…” you watch his expression harden at your words but his condescending smile returns not a second later. Though he doesn't say anything. He probably knew you were baiting him to get a reaction. You press on though not willing to back down so easily.

“What? Can't get the job done just because things didn't go your way? How childish..and here I thought you were such a renowned killer with all the deaths you bragged about…maybe I thought too highly of you…” Soaps smile slips as your words cut into his ego, his eyes narrowed in like a snake getting ready to strike.

Good, your tactics were working. You continue trying to rile him up in hopes of getting what you want today.

“Why don't we go our separate ways? You go find your perfect victim and I'll go find someone who can keep their word.” You don't bother waiting for an answer as you begin to walk away from him. If he wanted to play cat and mouse you could play cat and mouse.

Maybe you were playing a bit too well for Soaps liking though. You don't see that he had balled his fists until you turn to put the final nail in the coffin. “If you have any killer friends send them my way, maybe then I could experience what true terror is like.”

Something snaps in Soap's mind because the second you try to leave again he has your arms pinned behind your back and face pushed against his car door. He sees you trying to suppress a smile and it pisses him off even more. Just the thought of his brothers in arms having a go at you had his blood boiling. You were his kill not theirs. His prey, his toy, his to do whatever he pleased with. He needed to drill the sentiment into your mind.

If you were trying to piss him off you definitely succeeded in doing so. But he wasn't going to give in to your whims so easily. If you wanted to die so badly you were going to have to work for it. He wouldn't give you the satisfaction of winning. Definitely not at his own game.

“Ye think you're so smart do ye? Ye think getting me mad is enough for me to slit your throat? Think again, Dove. Ye aren't escaping me so easily. Ye want tae play? Fine, let's play.” Soap twists your arms to the point where you think he was really going to break it just to get his point across. You bite back a yelp just to anger him more. But your body involuntarily shivers from the pain shooting up your arms. Just as quickly as it started it ends with him pushing you in the direction of the forest. Turning around to face him you watch as he crouches down to remove a blade from where it was tucked into his sock.

“This is what ye wanted, Dove? Ye wanted tae be chased down like the pathetic whore ye are?” You watch him twirl the large knife in his hands as he stands watching you underneath the street light. The shadows the light casts obscure his face making his expressions unreadable. He looks like the devil incarnate. A monster ready to mutilate you. It's strange because before you weren't so afraid but with the way the situation was unfolding your body was getting you ready to run. A built in mechanism for survival. One you wish you could override.

“Ye think ye can put up an act as believable as a real thing? Ye think you can produce the same thrill for me with yer fake screams? Fine then. Run. Run like ye fucking mean it. Because one of two things is about tae happen tae ye.”

“Either one, ye make it believable enough that Ah decide tae kill you. Or two, Ah take ye on the forest floor and fuck every single one of your slutty little holes for wasting. my. fucking. time.” The malice in his voice alone has your nerves buzzing with anxiety. Fear and possibly something else pools in the pit of your stomach. Your body screams at you to run, to get away, to find safety, to hide before he rips you apart with his teeth. The other half tells you it wants to get caught…That it wants him.

Your brain screams at you as his low hum of laughter erupts at your perplexed expression. It screams at you telling you he's going to tear your flesh from your bones for everyone to see. Despite wanting to die, your brain and body work against you. Run. Hairs stand on the back of your neck as you take a shaky step back. Run. You watch him change his stance getting ready for the chase. Run! “Ye're going tae wish Ah never found ye Dove”

“Run.” He whispers, and you do, you bolt….

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2024. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[stubz]

Kim and Max and the adventures of running an alien child care centre

"Human Max I'd like you to meet Ezshi, they will be joining you soon in the youngling centre."

"Oh hey there buddy, nice to meet you!"

"Now, what do we say Ezshi?"

*croc sounding hissing and snarling*

"Ezshi! You apologize right this instant!!"

"...oh boy"

days later~

"I don't know what to do! The kid won't stop hissing at me everytime they see me! As soon as they spot me they flare up and won't stop hissing at me, they almost bit me when I tried giving them their chocolate milk!! I don't know how I'll survive this year Kim."

"That's rough buddy," she gives sympathy pats to him. "but why don't you try my method? Y'know, the one I used with my siblings and cousins."

"Kim if I did that I would get fired."

"Yes, in an earth school you would without question buuut...here?"

"...here I wouldn't! Kim you genius!"

later....

"Ah, human Kim, I am here to pick up Ezshi early today. May you point me to them?"

"Yeah sure, right over there with Max." she points to a large crowd of children and parents.

"Thank you Human Kim."

"Of course....maybe I should've stalled them for a bit...shoot."

"Ezshi! Where are you? Ah, there you-- oh my."

In the middle of the crowd is Ezshi and Max both hissing and snarling at each other. The young reptilian slowly advancing towards the human, eyes slitted.

"EZSHI! Youngling you will stop this at--!"

"Wait Mx. Ezshi's Bubba! Maxie is okay, look look!"

"Youngling Human please release your tiny hands off me, I must save your 'Maxee'...huh."

Max advances as well but more predatory like, circling around the youngling until their back hits a table. Jumping onto it thinking it'll make them look more intimidating, Ezshi hisses down at the lowly human. No one interferes, especially the other reptilian and predator like species.

"Okay now here it comes Max, remember not too much spit and be aggressive!"

Back straight, toes pointed, chin up, the young man closes the gap between them with a headbutt while releasing a roar. Silence. Until finally, with eyes dilated, Ezshi chirps and bows their little head.

"Aw, its okay buddy. Now go get your stuff, your Bubba is here."

"Thank you caretaker Maxee! Lets do that again!"

"Human Max how did you know how to assert dominance among my people? Was it Tarlak's family? Tigihalaxes and Repilixes do share similar customs..." they muse.

"Oh it was Kim."

"Yep!"

"And how, may I ask, do you know how to assert dominance among my people Human Kim?"

"My siblings and cousins."

"....you were taught by your human kin?"

"Some of them started to roar and hiss while we goofed around and to make sure they still listened to me while we did this I would 'assert dominance' by doing exactly what Max did."

"I thought humans did not have displays of dominance and that everyone is to be treated equally, like a herd."

"Yes thats right."

"But you just said..."

"Oh that was just us playing around. We still do it every now and then, just over the holidays my little sister and me did the equivalent of the gorlazitics display of dominance."

"For fun??? And not to be the new leader? No one was killed?"

"Save for our mother's opinion of us, no."

"Are you sure you two are herbivores?"

"The proper term is vegetarian, which is what I am, Kim is a pescatarian."

"May the fish forgive me for finding them so delicious in sushi form."