#ah so many colorful characters at once

[erosiism]

GENSHIN MEN AND…

prompt: HOW THEY WOULD REACT IF YOU SACRIFICED YOUR LIFE FOR THEM | part two

character(s): childe, ayato [part one is finished, it features diluc & zhongli]

warnings(s): angst ofc—mention of blood, my first post on tumblr so my writing style may be a little icky, inaccuracies since I haven’t looked up genshin lore for a hot minute 

note(s): male reader, second person, present tense, not beta read

AYATO

note(s); you are his fiance

Your marriage alliance is purely for business. Ayato knows that. He’s the head of the Yashiro Commission's Kamisato plan—he’s busy, for god’s sake. He doesn’t want to waste time or beat around the bush: if he is to marry you, the only son of the L/n clan, he will, but he doesn’t want you to expect any pleasantries. He will be cordial and polite enough, but he doesn’t have the time to butter you up. He will mind his own business, and so will you. He is not one for earthly desires. He cares far more for his clan’s prestige and for surviving to play the role of a husband.

“[Name], right?” He smiles at you. You smile back, your posture stiff and your smile fixed painfully on your face. “I’m sure we know what this marriage is intended for.”

Your skin feels tight. “I do.”

“You can go to Thoma should you have any inquiries. My sister will help you too should you need anything.”

You tilt your head. Your tone is straightforward and blunt. “And you?”

“I’ll be busy,” Ayato says politely.

“I understand.”

There: your first conversation had been completely unremarkable and bland. But Ayato had appreciated that you had been straight to the point. You had been completely no nonsense, and Ayato at least, did not feel annoyed. He has too many things on his plate to deal with trivial things like romance: too many rival clans are trying to assassinate him, too many people are trying to destroy his clan. He does his own things, you do too. Occasionally you two meet—it’s just one house, after all, and you two make polite conversation. You make for a rather amusing partner at times, you make him laugh, and with you he feels relaxed.

Sometimes he plays the tricks he plays on Thoma; but it’s almost impressive to see you stomach the strange food he feeds you. You tease him with a rather sweet straight face; in calm tones, you poke fun at him. Ayato forgets that the two of you are married, at times, but there are also the rare times that he’s almost pleased.

Months pass after your encounter. The two of you have lapsed into a routine. Ayato finds that there are times he almost looks forward to the occasions the two of you meet. He starts planning brief instances where he can see you: he starts to finish his work a little quicker so he’ll be able to see you. He lessens your workload so you won’t be tired. He buys trinkets that remind him of you. He starts to reach out to you a lot more. 

He notices you smiling more. You seem pleased, joyful, even at this. 

(“Gosh,” Ayaka tells him once, smiling sweetly. “You two do act like a married couple.”

Married. Ah. Right. Ayato has nearly forgotten.)

One day, as he’s out, he spots a gem the color of your eyes. He spends a decidedly long time looking at it, choosing it carefully, before he tucks it in your pocket. You deserve to have nice things, he thinks to himself. And so he will give it to you. His husband.

But when he returns home, he doesn’t expect to see the sight of you barely breathing, your breaths shuddering, your body limp. Thoma and Ayaka are not in sight. They must have gone out today. And you…

The gem clinks in his pocket as he runs towards you.

“[Name],” Ayato calls for your messily, the words falling over each other as they spill from his mouth, “[Name]!”

The last word is a yell. “[Name], please…who did this to you?”

“Those bastards,” you say weakly, “from…that…clan…they wanted information. They…”

“And you—”

“I didn’t give it to them, if that’s what you were worried about,” you manage to choke out. “I know how important it was to you.”

The information. Right. The scrolls. Right. Important? Perhaps months ago Ayato would have agreed. After all, that was months, almost a year of hard work. But looking at you now, Ayato begged to differ. Here you were, bleeding out, dying, because of him.

You sacrificed yourself. You sacrificed yourself for him.

“I know what this marriage was intended for,” you repeat the words he had told you when you two had first met. His husband. His beloved husband. His darling. “I’ve honored it.”

“No,” Ayato cradles you, feeling as if life escapes your body. Your body is turning cold. “No!”

It’s too late. The gem rolls out of his pocket, and Ayato despairs.

The gem is no longer the color of your beautiful eyes.

It’s bathed in red.

CHILDE

note(s); you are from fatui

There are countless deaths when it comes to Fatui. It has become disturbingly normal. And you are Tartaglia’s subordinate. The eleventh harbinger’s associate. You two hit it off, immediately: you are of similar age, and you have a little brother the same age as Teucer. Or: you had a little brother. He was torn away from you because of your poor living conditions in Snezhnaya. And that was what spurred you on to make a last ditch attempt to join the Fatui to find a purpose somehow; to riddle yourself with work so you cannot think of your brother’s death.

Childe has been nothing but sweet to you so far. You have been seeing two sides of him: the tender, gentle side to him when he talks about Teucer, when he speaks of the little letters he gets from his siblings, or on the occasions he speaks to you. And the other is more wild; more bloodthirsty—and in those instances, you can see the marks that the Abyss has left on him. That uncontrollable urge to ravage everything in sight; to leave it broken and damaged.

Today is no different. The two of you tread the snow as you walk up the mountains. Childe is laughing as he is telling you stories. You listen to him like you always do. Neither of you spot the Ruin Guards. Not even three—by some wretched curse, there are five of them, lumbering behind. And by the time their shadows loom before the two of you, it’s too late.

Childe flinches; you reach out to him in desperation before you see him shift into his Foul Legacy form. 

What rotten luck, you curse to yourself, adrenaline starting to fill in. What kind of stupid thing have we walked into?

You have seen him use it a few times—once against three Ruin Guards. He defeated them without much difficulty—but you had seen the after effects. You had seen the way he had panted for his breath; the way his face had turned pale, the way he had quivered and had grasped onto you and the Traveler for help.

He does the same. There’s still two remaining, and Childe’s still standing. But you see him clutching his head. You think of Teucer. Childe has a family to return to. You have no one. In a way, this action would be the most logical. The most understanding. It will be a sacrifice for Childe and his brother. You know the pain of losing a brother—you don’t want Teucer to go through that again.

“I think I can handle them,” you tell Childe quietly. You don’t have a vision, but you have a delusion you have yet to use. “Go. Rest.”

“[Name],” Childe warns.

“Teucer.” Is the only word you say.

Childe’s eyes widen. He bites his lip. He sees your point—you knew he would. 

“I’ll come back alive,” you promise.

“[Name],” he tries again.

“See you later.” It’s a clear dismissal. 

You push him a little to the side; Childe stumbles away. Then you quickly unleash the delusion you have kept and unsheathe your sword. Childe was the one that taught you how to use a sword—and now you recall his advice as you step to the side. The delusion has potentially lethal consequences. You know that. It’s your first time using it. You know that too. The energy thrums in your fingertips as you start to battle—the crimson lashes out between your teeth and blows start to rain on you.

You think of your brother. It was your lack of strength that caused his death—you can still remember his shouts, his screams—and even now they haunt you. You don’t waver, but your stance and your attacks become sloppy. Useless, you think harshly, useless! I can’t even—

The delusion unleashes more power in your desperation. The ruin guards start to sway and fall. You continue, but now blood is bursting from every crevice, every corner: wounds open, flesh tears away, and your mouth overflows with blood. The ventricles of your heart seem to be pulsing dangerously—the delusion is ripping away your mortality in return for its power. You continue. Your eyes start to tear—

Thuds tell you of the defeat of the guards. You slump in relief. Your feet carried you to Childe, who has collapsed on the ground.

“Childe,” you call weakly. “I…”

The words don’t leave your throat. Your broken stance is not the one that jolts him from his consciousness, but it is the splutter of blood and the horrid gargle your throat make when you start to retch out blood that horrifies him.

“[Name]!” He yells, “[Name]!”

“Let me close my eyes,” you plead. “I’m so tired.”

“No. Let’s—let’s get you to—”

“Please,” you start to beg him. “I think…”

Childe knows better. You will die if you close your eyes. He has to get you help—he can’t let you die. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

He has loved you. He loves you. He adores you.

“You promised me,” Childe starts to whisper brokenly, “you promised me, [Name]. You said you'd come back alive. You said you will…”

The promise is shattered when your head slips from his grasp.

Your first and last promise to him, broken.

comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated

[butchreg]

cg ! ambessa medarda with an infant regressor headcanons !!

requested by anon ! i don't tend to have cg ambessa thoughts like i said in my last ambessa post but i've gotten a bunch of requests for her so i will be giving the people what they want ! (*-`ω´- )人 again i did my best to write her in character but apologies if she strays ooc. anon brought up an infant regressor as a chance for her to heal and redo motherhood and i found that a touching thought. thanks for the idea nonnie , i hope these are satisfactory ! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) ack i got a bit carried away , once i got going the thoughts overflowed. arcane masterlist here , upcoming masterlist here

mentioned it in my last ambessa post but ambessa calls you "my kit" or "my cub" to your face and refers to you simply as "the kit / cub" to her servants. "be a dear and get the kit a bottle" versus , "ah ah , drink slowly , my cub."

ambessa who holds you very gently in her lap while you drink your bottles , patting your tummy when you get full. one large hand guides the bottle while the other arm keeps your head upright what with you being so tiny.

she often tickles your tummy , kissing it and blowing raspberries. she chuckles , a deep rich chortle of delight as you blush and giggle , kicking your feet happily.

she always dresses you up nicely in the colors of the medarda crest so everybody will know you're her baby. she'll coo at you in your little outfits , quite satisfied with herself for dressing you up so well. she'll carry you over to a mirror , pointing at your reflection. "that's you , my kit. don't you look dashing , i've done quite the job , don't you think ?" she'll chuck your chin as you giggle and clap enthusiastically.

your regression is healing not only for you but also for ambessa. she freezes the first time you call her "mama" or something in that vein , thoroughly shocked and not quite sure how to feel at first. the ever stoic ambessa finds herself tearing up for the first time in God knows how long , a smile pulling at her full lips as tears of joy and of pride threaten to fall.

ambessa finds herself comforted by how clingy you are , how much you need her. it's a big job to take care of an infant yet she welcomes your regression , scooping you into her big strong arms and cradling you ever so gently , hugging you tightly as if to reassure herself that you're really there.

ambessa takes no nonsense , holding you to her high standards. of course with your being so tiny she doesn't have too many rules in place but she does not take kindly to tantrums or needless fussing.

ambessa practices her tone when she's alone , careful to be sure never to snap or speak too sharply to you. it takes work and rehearsal ; admittedly she's a bit rough around the edges in the early stages of your regression.

ambessa loves to hold you whenever possible. she's strong enough to pick you up with little effort , keeping you on her hip as she tends to her smaller duties , bouncing you when you start to fuss. "oh hush now pet ," she'll soothe , reaching into a pocket before coming up with a red and black teether.

ambessa spoils her baby rotten , often pretending to be shocked when more parcels with your name on them arrive. she has them addressed to "the kit" as mentioned in the last post , picking up the tag on an item and tutting approvingly. she has to help you open the items with your being just so itty bitty. she'll brandish that plushie you were eyeing , a wide smile spreading across her face as your eyes widen and you babble excitedly , squirming on her hip as you reach for it.

ambessa who is initially a bit squeamish at the thought of changing diapers , something she often left for the servants when her biological children were small. although she's anxious in the beginning she is so very gentle with you , using just enough powder and kissing your tummy when you wriggle or squirm. "ah ," she'll sigh with satisfaction when you're all finished. "there we go , nice and clean." she'll nod approvingly. "you did well , my darling ," she'll add , kissing you softly on the head.

ambessa who will sing to you to get you to sleep , holding you in her arms , rocking you gently. her singing voice is a bit rusty , hasn't had much use since mel was small , but she sings you soft lullabies , spinning the mobile above your crib for you to watch.

ambessa who can be a bit of a snob , only buying the best for her baby. she will only buy items of the utmost quality , saying no if she feels something you want is cheaply or shoddily made. she often has toys or other items commissioned to be specially made so that they will be just perfect.

[mustangbby]

-> happy valentines day!

synopsis -> how some of my favorite genshin women and men celebrate valentines day.

characters -> ningguang, shenhe, yelan, ei, miko, wriothesley, lyney, albedo, kazuha

warnings -> none! all fluff.

w/c -> 1.0k

ningguang is a woman with many riches. the moment her mind processed it was valentines day when she woke up for work was also the moment she hurried over to her wardrobe, digging up a beautiful bracelet made only with diamonds before setting it down on your night table. as she was putting on her clothes, you groaned, waking up. she leaned down to kiss you before telling you to look over on your side of the nightstand, greeted to an outstanding piece of jewelry you could only dream of having. you groggily smiled, putting the bracelet around your wrist before throwing the covers off of your body and hugging your wonderful wife.

shenhe doesn’t really understand the concept of ‘valentines day.’ she knew of it as liyue citizens being cheesy on the streets, and the finest cuisine’s businesses flooding with romance. usually, she’d watch from afar. but ever since you entered her picture, she started to care just a bit more. she’d spend the day with you in the harbor, observing other couples actions before deciding herself what to do. she had decided to buy you a nice box of chocolates and a few clothing items you’ve been eyeing. she bought them with you there, without a word, waiting until you both exited the store to give them to you. when you tightly hugged her, she let out a tiny laugh, hugging you back lightly.

oh? wriothesley, the great duke of the fortress of meropide, celebrating such a holiday? yes! as the morning approached, the first fun little gift you received was his presence in bed, still asleep. ah, he must have taken the day off of work, you thought. he awoke a few moments later, saying his good morning before getting up to start the day with you. he took you out for a very nice breakfast before walking around the inner city. oh, no matter if this were to go into the steambird. charlotte is probably lingering somewhere, eager to catch a rare sight of the duke on the surface. he brought you to an isolated part of fontaine, a gorgeous view, and making sure nobody was in sight, got down on one knee and pulled out an extraordinary ring from his pocket, holding it out to you.

lyney is most certainly going to celebrate valentines day, with a valentine or not. whether it’s performing card tricks that turn into roses for men with a romantic partner, or actually celebrating it with his significant other. he’ll perform a very special magic performance, just for your eyes, not even lynette or freminet have seen it! gorgeous, glittering roses in your favorites of colors come drifting from nowhere, landing in your hair. only the finest for you! he’ll absolutely spoil you with a dinner that certainly cost one hefty sum of mora… you really, truly hope today won’t make him bankrupt.

yelan will spoil you, without a doubt. she doesn’t care much about the holiday itself, what she does care for though is that you get what you desire on such a day. she’ll take you anywhere you would like! she also likes to save the fanciest restaurants for days like these in specific. you saw a restaurant in mondstadt during your last visit? she’ll take you, and you’ll spend the night in the city of wind. she’ll do anything for you no matter, and she’ll top it off with a cute box of chocolates and a bouquet. she’s not quite the person for overwhelming affection, so she’ll give these things to you in subtle ways, behind the safety of your walls.

oh, ei. from being in such a state of meditation for so long, this woman barely grasps the concept of christmas! do not fret, she’s a quick learner. (but don’t ask her to cook. that is something she will not be able to learn.) once you explain to her what valentine's day is, and also take her to get a small rundown of the holiday from yae miko, she nods before immediately dashing off to find an exquisite treasure at a nice shop downtown. of course, considering she’s in a very high position in inazuma, she gets cheaper prices on all of the trinkets, she absolutely spoils you! she’s also willing to walk around other islands with you, to admire the scenery before pulling out the things she got you and proceeding to make it a day worth remembering.

yae miko has lived long enough to understand what valentines day is. she see’s romance on the streets during those days, and she’s even published a light novel on two lovebirds on a holiday such as this. so do not underestimate how long she has planned your gift, as soon as you wake up you are greeted to a small book laying on your pillow. you go to open it, reading such a beautiful story about how you two fell in love. it was two completely different characters re-enacting your story. she comes into your shared bedroom, sitting down with you before rubbing your thigh, a look that cannot be told between a smirk and a light smile dancing across her gorgeous face.

albedo didn’t see the significance at first. of any holiday, people choose to celebrate this one? isn’t that what anniversaries are for? though, once he sees how important it is to you, he crafts a beautiful necklace with his bare hands and some potions he had mixed up to create the gemstones that were very neatly embedded into the shell of the jewelry. it was beautiful- likely the prettiest thing you’ve set your eyes upon, considering not only was it made from love, it went perfectly with your eyes and hair. valentines day this year was such a success with albedo as your partner.

kazuha knew valentines day. he’d make today extra special for you, taking you to the finest cuisines in whatever area you were at during your travels. he’d occasionally stop, creating a bouquet that he’d plan on giving to you later on at night. when you had received it, there was everything in there- he had collected some qingxin flowers, sweet flowers, a few mint leaves for color, some silk flowers, glaze lillies, and violetgrass. you truly believed it was the most gorgeous bouquet you’ve seen, and it landed a place in a very nice glass vase when you two arrived home that evening.

[vsimp]

he catches you writing smut (18+)

pairing: Kamisato Ayato x F!Reader

genre: smut

wc: 2.6k

kink warning: a line or two about panty sniffing lol

There was a pretty popular erotic novel currently published by the Yae Publishing House. Hundreds of copies so far have been sold in Inazuma. It was released by an anonymous author, a story telling the tale between a CEO and his secretary. Although the people weren’t too familiar with the concept of a corporation, people really did enjoy the little power dynamic between a dominant CEO and his submissive secretary. Smut had recently grown popular in Teyvat, and this erotic novel was the current driving force of it all.

Little did they know that you were the author, the current lady of the Kamisato Clan, and the Yashiro Commissioner's wife. You had based the male lead off of your own husband. Surely if you revealed your identity, the whole of Inazuma would be in uproar and you would soil the Kamisato Clan’s name. That was why it was your own dirty little secret, the fact that you were writing erotic fiction based on you and your husband, a little secret that only you and Yae Miko know.

What you didn’t expect was for the novel to reach the insides of the Estate. Housekeepers were gushing about it during their breaks, retainers were talking about how their partners wanted to try these different positions from the novel… You couldn’t help but be mortified, yet flattered, that so many people enjoyed your dirty novel.

It wasn’t until the news had reached your husband’s ears did you really, really get in trouble.

Kamisato Ayato called his wife to his study after a long day of duties for the both of them. Usually, he would invite her to tea if they had the time to talk about what they had for plans during the week.

You took a sip of your tea, relishing in the nice silence after a bustling day and the warmth that the tea brought.

“There’s this novel that has been the talk of the town lately,” Ayato said and you did everything you could not to choke on your tea.

“Ah, I heard the staff speaking about it this week. My, I wonder what had caught their attention like so…” You replied as casually as you could.

“Mm.” He replied briefly and took something out of his jacket. You tried not to tense up as you recognized the familiar pink book cover, of course graced with the illustration of the main couple that suspiciously had the same hair color as you and Ayato. “Ah, yes, let me read the title out loud. ‘The Nightly Trysts of Hayato and his Lover.’ Hm, a strange title indeed. This ‘Hayato’ character has a similar name and appearance to mine.”

You wanted to cringe at the entire name. Guuji Yae was the one who suggested such an embarrassing title. She said it would attract a more mature audience who enjoyed that sort of fantasy. Ayato maintained his relaxed smile despite reading all of that, and you didn’t like it one bit. It meant he was currently hiding something he knew, and you were too scared to delve into what exactly that was.

“Ah…” You had to keep your calm, even though you wanted to scream into your own pillow right now. If you showed any sort of discomfort or anxiety, your husband would recognize it right away. After all, nothing came past your husband with that sharp mind of his. “Perhaps it’s just a coincidence?”

“Hm, maybe so. Shall I read the summary?”

No. Please, archons, no.

He continued anyway, despite your inner thoughts pleading him not to. He read off the summary on the back of the book with his same laxed voice, detailing a CEO who was currently smitten by his secretary, who starts to avoid him at all costs once she sees him half naked on a business trip. The CEO, frustrated, chased after the secretary and had an erotic time with her in his office.

“It sounds interesting,” you forced a smile on your face.

“Doesn’t it? I started to skim through it whenever I had time off during the day.”

“Oh?” You wanted to cry at this point, a wide smile plastered on your face. He’s noticed. He’s definitely noticed. “Do you like it so far…?”

“It’s surely an interesting read. This male lead named Hayato… The way the author describes him, with light blue hair and light blue eyes and a small mole on his left lower lip…” Ayato’s smile remained the same, although the corner of his eyes crinkle a bit, indicating a more mischievous look. “He sure does sound like me.”

“Haha…” You let out a forced laugh. “Maybe someone is a fan of your appearance.”

“It appears so.” He flipped through the pages casually. “Such a detailed little novel. This author sure does have a penchant for writing erotic scenes.”

“They must be passionate about their work.” You felt like your smile could break your face at this point.

“Mm… The female lead sounds quite familiar as well. Her name is similar to yours.”

“I-is it?”

“Indeed. The same eye and hair color too.”

“Wow. What a huge coincidence!”

He chuckles softly. “My dear, there’s no need to play dumb anymore.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Your voice wavered a bit, but you were committed to it.

“You’re going to keep playing this game? Very well then.” He stood up and took your hand.

“A-Ayato?”

With one fellow swoop, he helped you to stand up. Before you knew it, he led you over to your bedroom, locking the door behind him and guided you to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Let me read out an excerpt I found interesting,” Ayato stated as he looked at the book, although he made small glances at you too while reading. “He pins her down to the bed and kisses her passionately. His blue and white sheets were softer than anything she’s ever felt, but that thought was soon taken away by the force of his lips upon her.” His usually relaxed smile soon morphed into a smirk. “My, I didn’t realize you were such a big fan of our blue and white sheets.”

Without a doubt, the bedsheets in the room you shared had always been blue and white for the last few years. Suddenly, he pinned you down against the sheet, his hand pushing your shoulder gently so you rested back against the bed, just as he had read from the book. And then he simply leaned down to kiss you, his soft lips meshing with yours as you felt yourself melt in his embrace. Your lips came together gently, although there was a playful bounce to his kisses that you did not expect, and soon, his tongue ended up pushing against yours.

He chuckled after he parted away from you, leaving you panting and breathless from the makeout session. “Cat got your tongue, my dear? Or will you finally admit the truth?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Your cheeks grew hotter as he tried to corner you into admitting that you were the author.

“Mm… Sure, you don’t.” His lips made their way to kiss your neck, his tongue hot as he bit and sucked on the skin there. “Did you really feel that lonely that you had to write erotica off of our experiences? Have I not shown you enough attention lately?”

“D-Don’t say that…!” Your voice grew weaker as he teased you, your resolve slowly crumbling the more he kissed you. “You know that’s not the case…!”

“Hehe,” he let out another small chuckle. “You’re so cute when you’re flustered. Tell me, y/n, do you just like our experiences so much that you put it into a novel?”

You gasped as his hands went under your robe, undoing your clothes and caressing your breast through your undergarments. His fingers tease your nipples through your bra, pinching the sensitive bud and flicking it around. You let out small whimpers from the teasing.

“Shall I reenact one of the scenes I was particularly fond of?”

“Please no…” you begged. 

“Why not?”

“I-it’s embarrassing.”

“I think it’s endearing that my lovely wife has such vivid fantasies.” He smiled down at you and then started to strip you naked of your clothes. “I could drown in the beauty of your body, my love.” He repeated a line from the novel as he kissed down your neck to your chest.

You let out soft pants as he unraveled your body, his eyes raking every inch as if he hadn’t memorized it all already. He gave your breasts another squeeze, pinching the bare nipple before he slowly dragged it down your rib cage to your lower abdomen before resting right in front of your aching core. It just sat there, his palm digging into your mound as your hips buckled, wanting more and more stimulation.

“Patience, love…” Ayato gave you a calculating smirk as he picked up the book once again and flipped to a bookmarked page. He read off another excerpt. “He buried his face into her pussy, panties on, sniffing and tasting her neediness that drenched through the soft fabric.” Ayato took a finger and ran it gently along your slit, and you did everything you could not to beg him for more despite your legs trembling slightly from anticipation. “My, I didn’t realize my wife had such fantasies about her panties like this. Such a pervert, wanting me to sniff her precious flower like a deranged animal .”

“Mm… n-no, t-that’s not true…” you tried to deny, but your flushed body and face were saying otherwise. 

“Such a lewd expression,” he chuckled and crawled down, taking a sniff of your core straight through your underwear. “You smell delightful,” his voice deepened, almost guttural, as his tongue dipped to languidly lick at your clit. 

You let out a soft cry, which was like music to his ears. Ayato wanted to laugh in amusement, his own mind twisting into pure sadistic pleasure. Who would’ve known that his own wife would be such a naughty little thing? He savored her taste, enjoying the way she writhed beneath him. With one fluid motion, he pulled her underwear off and sucked at her wet core, kissing and slurping all of her love juices. 

Your mind was all fuzzy as pleasure filled your lower region. Your legs wrapped around his head, hips buckling as he ate you out, dipping his tongue into your pussy as deep as he could before taking it out to swirl around your clit. It reminded you of the scene you wrote in the book, and you wonder how committed he was going to be to the scene.

Nevertheless, it seemed like he was going to tease you nonstop until you finally admit that you were the author.

He then pushed a finger into you, stretching out your walls and he admired the way your walls tensed around his digit, how your moans grew louder and louder. One, and then two, he started to pump his fingers, curling them to hit the spot you liked the most whilst his tongue continued flicking against your clit. Your hands made its way to his soft blue hair, and it wasn’t long before you came all over his fingers and lips. 

You panted as he took himself out of you, your eyes watching as he licked your juices off his fingers before he positioned his waist in between your legs.

“Are you ready, princess?” His hands undid his pants, taking out his cock as he rubbed the length against your sensitive slit. You just came, after all, so he was getting well lubricated with your juices.

You whined a bit as you needily stuck your arms out, and Ayato chuckled as he bent down to meet your lips. Your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer. He kissed you deeply and a bit more rough this time as you felt his cock grinding against your wet, warm pussy. He wanted you so bad, but he also wanted to stay committed to his teasing.

“Mm… Ayato, put it in already…” You scolded him as he continued to grind against you, occasionally slapping the tip of his rock hard cock gently against your clit. 

“I don’t think so…” He said after pulling away from your tongue, smirking down at you. He hissed a bit as he continued to rub his length up and down, his other hand making its way to squeeze your breast. “Not until you admit it.”

“Are you seriously still on that?!” You moaned in frustration, wiggling your hips in hopes that he’d just put it inside and fuck you relentlessly to dull the growing ache in your lower abdomen.

“Well, we are following the scene in the novel to the tea. I just want to confirm that you are truly one of the main characters.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You were so horny for anything that you didn’t care at this point.

“Fine! Fine, yes, I admit it. I wrote the book. Now hurry up!”

Your husband leaned forward, placing a hand beside your head to hold himself up as his other hand started to push his cock in just a bit.

“Hehe, so demanding.” You gasped as he pushed his entire length in you. “And yet, you’re such a good girl.”

His hips slammed into yours, his lips kissing and sucking the skin of your neck. You could only grip him tightly as he fucked you deeply and thoroughly with the only goal to draw out your sweet moans that he loved hearing so much. He grunted as he felt you squeeze around him, taking you over and over until you were crying out his name.

His lips slammed back onto yours, exploring your mouth as his cock pushed in and out. He wanted to leave you as a sputtering mess, until you can’t think of anything else but him and his long, aching hard member.

“You’re such a dirty girl, writing those lewd scenes about us.” He muttered in your ear, hissing as he felt you tightening every time he uttered some dirty words. “Is that your fantasy? Me fucking you hard in my office with my employees outside?” He chuckled as you were too caught up in pleasure to respond. “Hm? Or do you just like the idea of me fucking you wildly out in the open?”

He pushed your legs as far up as he could and he continued to slam down into you.

“Shit…” He cursed, so unlike his normally composed self. You were the only person in this world who could unravel him completely. You, and you alone. “You feel so good, princess…”

The sound of his skin slapping yours filled the room, coupled with your moans and his quiet grunts. He slid in and out of you with ease at this point, stretching you whole. He watched your breasts bounce to his movements and he didn't hesitate to squeeze and play with them as he wished.

He fucked you in different positions, bending you over the bed, on your side with your foot high up in the air and leg over his shoulder. He couldn’t get enough of you, making you cum over and over again before sputtering his own seed deep into your walls, enjoying how you clench and convulse from his cock alone.

“Mm…” He hummed as he kissed your shoulder tenderly, his cock still deep inside you as he finished cumming, drawing out small thrusts as he got the final load out. He could drown in the sound of your moans, and suddenly, he understood the appeal of your erotic novel.

Ayato took himself out of you before collapsing next to you, holding you closely in his arms. He kissed your forehead as you both panted from the heavy exertion before he looked at you with that mischievous smile.

“So was that enough for you to write a sequel?”

[sultrydxrling]

Expanding on an idea I had, I'll link the post :3

(MULTIMONSTER/GLORYHOLE/AFAB/FTM/ANY BODY TYPE/WERE-TIGER/ORC)

(3.8k words)

(CNC/FREE-USE/MONSTERKINK/GLORYHOLE/ANAL/ORAL/VAGANAL)

SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO SEE THE REFERENCES OF THE CREATURES!<3

(Heads up, pink text is just for unassorted side characters, they might make an appearance in future parts of the fic, and might have their own colors then.)

You walk into the facility excitedly. You had passed the screening, background check, drug test, lab work, and numerous other loops to fill the position you had applied for. You knew it was a sex-working job, but didn't have much more information than that, which you didn't mind.

You walked up to the front desk with your paperwork to greet the busty woman sitting there, her bright green eyes darting up at you from beneath her bangs. Her long black hair draped over her shoulders and the coils, along with her breasts bounced lightly as she moved. A flush of red swam across your cheeks and you tried to avert your gaze, pushing your view back up to her eyes.

"Hello!, I'm (y/n)! I'm here to see-", By the time you'd gotten past your name, she'd already found you on the list.

"Ah! (y/n), Spelled like this right?", She showed you the clipboard and smiled, pointing to your name with a pen. You nodded and returned her cheery expression.

"Yep! That's me!", She nodded and stood, you could now see her red, partially unbuttoned blouse and tight, black, knee-length skirt. As your eyes traveled down her body, they fell on her lovely bright red heels. All of these colors complemented her Olive skin delightfully, so much so that it was very difficult not to stare.

"Come on, hun. Follow me.", I wandered closely behind her and she led me into a large warehouse-type hallway, with many different doors leading into different hallways or rooms. We walked down the hallway and into a blue door on the left. She scanned her keycard and the door buzzed open.

"Once you've been here for a couple of days and decide that you'd like to continue, we will give you a keycard. Until then, I will come let you in."

The door opened into a large waiting area, The flooring was a beautiful dark wood, leading up to the furniture. All of the furniture was luxurious, the arms swirling elegantly. The couches and chairs were a red fabric with black flowers strewn across them, little whisps of swirls against the flower pattern. There was a Traditional Gold Damask on Bright Red Wallpaper lining the walls, all the way to a front desk with another woman with red hair and blue eyes looking up from her paperwork through her glasses.

"Oh! Is this the new hire? They're gorgeous!"

"Yes isn't he? I just know the clientele is going to love him. Alright, Cassandra, I'm going to take him back. Don't send in anyone too rough until his third day please."

She smiled and Cassandra nodded, "Of course Andromeda. As always."

She returned to her paperwork and the dark-haired woman led me into a room with an "Employees only" Sign.

"Alright, and If you just strip down, You'll be led to your room for the night. Oh, I almost forgot to ask, would you prefer human clients or monsters-", You'd almost forgotten monsters would be an option, but you felt your heart race at the idea. You'd never been with a monster before and the very thought put slick between your thighs.

"Monsters- please.", You said politely. She nodded and left you in the room by yourself. You looked into the body-length mirror as you undressed, hearing Cassandra's words in your head, calling you gorgeous. You were feeling super confident.

You heard a soft rap on your door, "May I come in, (y/n)?"

"Yes, I'm ready...", You bashfully covered yourself but only slightly. Andromeda smiled at you and gave you a soft look up and down.

"You look beautiful, come with me this way to your room.", You nodded and walked slowly behind her as she opened the door and led you down the red hallway, Along the wall, there were dark, red cushioned lifts that hung about 3 feet above the ground. The same wallpaper as the waiting room shines softly in the dim lighting. The woman opened a door with her keycard, another "Employees only" sign hanging from it.

As you entered, the hallway wrapped around as if to mirror the one you were just in, full of box-like rooms that were slightly elevated. She opened one of the secure doors, as you looked inside, the room was filled with that same, cushioned material, a pillow built into a table in the middle, and a red button hung next to the door.

"I'm going to open the door and you will put your rear end and your knees on the other side of the wall. It will secure your hips in place, and you will put your abdomen on this table. when your lower half is secured, this wall will open a small hole in front of you and the table will adjust you fowars slightly, or this wall will get closer to you."

You tried to keep up with what she was saying as you looked all over the room, figuring out how the mechanisms functioned so well. There must've been a lot of science, engineering, and thought put into these rooms. Andromeda scanned her card on the button pad, which helped adjust the walls and seating.

Once your hips were through the wall, and your knees were comfortable; you adjusted the closeness of the wall, and a hole opened up. The hole was right up next to your mouth and you couldn't help but daydream. Just thinking about the randomly colored cocks that would be in your face, how they might taste, and how thick they might be. More slick dripped down your thigh and you prayed no one would notice.

"Alright, are you comfortable?"

"Yes, Ma'am", She looked over her clipboard at how you addressed her as she checked off boxes, you almost wished she would play with you herself, now shamelessly staring at her chest, or at least what you could see under her clipboard.

"Would you like an aphrodisiac?", You looked at her confused and blushed.

"What- is that?", Andromeda put her clipboard to her hip and smiled,

"It's a drug, more spasifically a gass for us as a compsany, that makes you feel extra- in the mood."

She winked and chuckled. You nodded and looked down shamefully, "Yes please-"

"Alright hun, I'll be sure to set you up before we open. I'm going to ho around to the other side and make sure your legs are as open as they need to be, Ill close the wall once you're adjusted and we'll help all the other girls in. While you're waiting well hit you with the drugs okay?"

"Mhm"

You answered softly and let yourself relax, resting your arms on the rectangular table, your back arching softly as you adjusted. You were happy to find there was another armrest and a small lift button for the table. You messed with it, raising the table slightly and lowering it. You rested your arms on the wall, armrest, practicing how you would suck on the monsters that offered their cocks to you. Andromeda could be heard behind you,

"Oh, my~", she giggled softly as she examined you.

"Someone's exited huh? Alright, do you mind if I touch your legs and thighs? Make you look presentable?"

"No, I dont mind."

She hummed softly as her soft hands wrapped around your calves, pulling your legs carefully apart and gently spreading your pussy lips but making sure not to touch your aching hole. You wished she would, you imagined her acrylics gently rubbing at your insides, her fingertips rubbing your G-spot. You gasped softly when you felt her spread you, and she heard.

"Alright, you're all set up and look monster-ready", She chuckled and made her way back to the front hallway.

"Ok sweety, I'm going to close the holes around you and obviously the one in front of you will just close. The room will fill with a light gass, but it shouldn't feel suffocating. If it does, or anything hurts or goes wrong, press that red button to your left. Am I understood?"

You nodded and looked into her bright green eyes. You wanted to make her proud and prove you deserved to stay and that you could do the best at your job. Maybe you'd get a reward for doing well.

The hole closed and the wall behind you clenched tightly around your hips. This made you feel secure and the squeeze made you feel secure. A robotic voice sounded in a speaker,

"Is your waist secured too tightly?", I sat there for a moment and I answered out loud not sure what else I could do.

"No."

"Good. Prepare for Aphrodisiac.", As the voice went silent, you heard a soft hissing, and quiet music began to play. You took a few purposeful deep breaths as you let your mind wander to the various creatures that might violate you.

You hadn't realized how much time had gone by and soon the hole in front of you opened up and the hole around your hip loosened slightly. You could hear talking behind you, a deep gruff voice sounding out.

"Good- gods... Look at this one-", Another voice soon to follow.

"Damn, I wonder how good his mouth is...(y/n) huh? Cute name. I'll take the mouth first then we can swap out."

You looked down to see the drool pooled against your chin and your face flushed in embarrassment. You sat upright, trying to ready yourself for the fun.

"Ooh. You're really exited for this huh?", A harsh slap fell across your ass, causing you to moan out. The creature laughed and you felt a pointed tip against your sloppy hole.

Soon a thick, green cock was pushed through the hole in front of you, the pre-cum-covered tip pressed lightly against your cheek. The feeling of it was amazing, the drugs filling your head with so much glee. You rested your weight on your elbows and took hold of; what you were assuming was an orc's cock with both hands and rubbed the leaking, pink-tinted tip all over your face.

A soft groan could be heard from the other side of the wall and the creature began to thrust into the hole and against your face.

"Fuuck yes.. god whatever you're doing, pretty boy- keep going-", This excited you, and you happily obliged, and began to softly kiss against his soft tip. You smeared his leaking cum against your lips like salty lipgloss.

The animal behind you thrusted into your cunt roughly, causing you to pull the Orc just into your lips and moan out around him.

"Mmm!", You pushed your hips back against the man behind you.

"Very eager arent you, Sweetheart... I'm going to make you into a delightful little cum-mutt.", he growled as he began to push his hips forward into you, filling you and letting your walls stretch around him, all the way down to his inflating knot.

You were praying it was a Were-Tiger, you loved how handsome they were, their enticing colors, a Lion, or maybe a panther- the daydreams swam around in your head as you began to throat the Orc without much thought, swirling your tongue around his sensitive tip.

"Oh my god, that's so fucking good- yes- Good boy. I might become a regular if you keep this up...", this was encouragement, and you began to suck him into your throat deeper, bobbing your head faster.

You felt a set of claws sink into your hips deeply, but not breaking skin as the creature behind you pounded into you and pressed his knot as hard as he could against you. It was obvious how much he wanted to force it in.

The hole in front of you was big enough to fit the orc's balls through and you used one hand to steady his cock in your mouth, the other reaching down to fondle and squeeze them teasingly. Another soft hissing noise filled the space next to you and a little of the gas spilled out of the holes, encouraging the monsters to be more aggressive with you.

Your holes were getting violently fucked from both ends now and you could feel their lengths pulsing and throbbing against your walls and esophagus. You moaned loudly over the orc's cock, the vibrations sending him into a thrusting frenzy as he forced himself as deeply into your mouth as he could, cum filling your throat quicker than you could swallow, the warmth flooding your chest as you tried not to gag and choke.

Soon after, you felt the man behind you shove his knot into you as he came, his sharp tip pressing against your sensitive cervix. You squirted against him and pressed back against him, trying to ride out your orgasm on his knot. As your pussy clenched and grabbed at his cock, he made sure to grind with you, milking himself as much as he could. The orc pulled out of the hole in front of you and you could hear his heavy breathing as he leaned on the wall.

"Oh my- fuck that was so good.."

You moaned even louder, now that your mouth wasn't full as the man began to fuck you with his knot, popping it in and out as he continued to drain himself. He pulled out and groped your ass affectionately. You happily spaced out and arched your back, laying down and breathing for a moment. After about two minutes you felt a set of two giant fingers rub up and down your pussy and asshole.

The orc was using both you and the man's juices to lubricate both of your holes. You pushed your hips back against his fingers needily.

"Hold on sweet boy. I'll be inside of you soon.", This made you let out a soft pathetic whine, and then a thick, red, textured cock entered the hole in front of you. You immediately wrapped your mouth and hand around him excitedly, circling your tongue around his length.

A roar sounded from the other side, and he immediately began to fuck your mouth, which you were practically begging for. One of the orc's fingers slipped into your pussy, filling it even more than the other creature's cock did.

You drooled more around the man's length and rubbed him vigorously as you finally got to see the knot that filled you. You reached up with your free hand and treated him as you did the orc, massaging his knot and squeezing it tightly.

The orc pushed his fingers into you, into both stretching your holes. He eased them into you and your walls clenched hungrily around them. He chuckled and removed his finger from your pussy, keeping one in your virgin asshole. He moved his finger gently in and out and you could feel his tip against your cunt. The idea of his pretty tip against you made you clench more, just to squeeze out any of your slicks that you could. You'd spend all day sucking it if you could.

"Good boy~ Keep up like that and I'm going to cum down your delicious- feeling throat. God yes- right there-", The man in front of you cooed at you and you moaned around his tip louder as the orc entered you. You swirled your tongue aggressively around his tip and flicked your tongue over the small crease and hole.

His hips spasmed, forcing his cock into your mouth as his throbbing cock spewed warm, sticky cum into your mouth. You pushed your head forward to get the rest of him into your mouth, even trying to fit his knot into your mouth. You felt like your jaw was going to unhinge, but were almost excited to suck on it.

"Ugh- F-God!!", He milked himself into your mouth and tried to help shove himself into your hungry jaws, almost getting off to the feeling of your teeth scraping against his large knot.

The orc pushed himself into you deeply, enough to tease himself by rubbing against the hole of your cervix.

"Mmm, you're so tight-", He chuckled deeply and pulled his finger out of your ass and took your hips into his hands, gripping you securely as he began to thrust in and out.

The man in front of you pulled out of your mouth, allowing you to gasp and cough softly. You wiped your mouth and giggled dazedly, happily arching your back for the monster behind you.

It wasn't long before he couldn't help himself and began to greedily move faster. A soft tapping could be heard as his balls slapped softly against your clit, providing extra stimulation for yourself. You moaned loudly and cursed softly.

You began to grope your tits, pinching at your nipples with one hand and ducking on your fingers with the other, missing the feeling of something in your mouth. Your tongue felt lonely, but your pussy was being very well taken care of. The orc was shaped so wonderfully, his cock was slightly thicker in the middle, rubbing every single weak spot you had. You wanted to hold in your orgasm for as long as possible but were not successful, squirting against him and pushing your hips back into him to encourage your orgasm.

He happily moved his hips slower, guiding you through the rest of your orgasm. After you'd finished, he pulled out of you and pressed himself against you asshole.

"Now, I get to treat you like a real boy-", He laughed and pushed himself roughly into your ass and moved aggressively. The orc was needy for your tightness, huffing and grunting like an animal as he took you. You could feel his big hands wrapping around your whole waist as he used you like a fleshlight.

A heavy fog settled over you as you lay down against the table, happily just trying to relax your body for the other. You could hear the other creature talking to the orc behind you.

"God he looks so good when he's full, and his pussy is leaking cum.", The orc laughed as he thrusted.

"Isn't he? and his ass is so fucking tight- I can't get enough. We'll- UIgh- definitely have to come back-", The orc leaned forward and rested some of his weight against your back, you could feel the warmth and sweat on his chest. Your whines and whimpers subsided to quiet breaths of foggy salvation.

"We should request a private room with him, if he ended up a perma-hire." You could sense the other monster's eyes on you. You imagined him looking down at you like a steak and drooling against the soft fabric beneath you.

"God- I'm so close-", The orc grunted as he drove himself as hard as he could into you, groaning and laughing as he fucked you into a happy stupor. You felt a hot liquid burst into you and you screamed out, your tongue hanging out like a dog.

He panted and held himself inside of you for a moment before carefully pulling out. They both laughed softly and ran their hands and paws over your thighs and waist.

"You did so good for us pretty boy, we'll be back to see you again if we can. Maybe we'll have the pleasure of seeing your gorgeous face. It has to be as beautiful as your body."

They both gave your ass a good slap before you heard them leave. After a moment, you heard mechanisms wiring and the door around your hips was opened as well as the door in front of you. Your eyes drifted up to see the busty secretary who led you back here.

"Hiii Andromedaaa...", You slurred softly and giggled, absolutely fucked out of your mind. She smiled down at you and moved the hair out of your face.

"Did you have fun darling?", Her voice was soft and she held her clipboard up with her pen ready.

"It was very wonderful, I had so much fun.", She nodded and wrote something down.

"Mhm. Did they treat you well?", Her eyes didn't leave her paper.

"Yes, Ma'am.", She once more wrote something down and helped you out of the machine after tucking the clipboard under her arm. You smiled and wobbled slightly.

"Would you like some help? We have some really strong staff who can hold you up or carry you to your room to rest.", You nodded and looked around, trying to find something for you to steady yourself. Andromeda pulled a small walkie-talkie from her pocket and spoke into it.

"Hey, Can you send a carrier here, to hall 3-A please?", Within mere moments, a woman walked into the hall, she must've been at least 5ft 11'. You gawked at her, she was built very strongly, her breasts blending with muscle.

"Hello, I'll be your Carrior for the night. May I?", She smiled and opened her arms, taking a step closer. You nodded and replied softly. She had a soft Southern accent that made me swoon.

"Mhm- Please-", You reached out for her and did your best to stumble over to her. She picked you up carefully, bridal style. You looked up and studied her features. She had Darker skin than Andromeda's olive tint, a delightful, deep caramel color. Her hair was up in a ponytail or a messy bun, you couldn't tell very well. It looked to be a box dyed red but over her already dark hair.

She carried you to the room you had undressed in and into a side room you hadn't noticed. It was a bathroom with a luxurious bath and she gently laid you in it.

"Would you like me to turn on the water for you?", Her face tinted slightly darker as she looked you over.

"Yes please", You smiled up at her, blushing as well. She turned the water on to a nice hot temperature used a small picture and filled it with warm water, gently rinsing you off. The bath was then plugged and she pulled another pitcher off of the counter that was full of a creme-colored liquid and what looked like flower petals.

"If you dont mind my sayin' so- you look very pretty, uhm-", She gingerly poured the milk bath mixture into the water and over your body.

"(Y/N)", You added and giggled at her bashfullness.

"Got it. Well, I'm gonna let you clean up alright? Sure you can manage?", She stood, folding her arms in front of her like a bouncer at a club.

"Yes, I think I'll be alright.", You giggled more and smiled big. She nodded and opened the door to leave.

"You just uh- Let me know if you need me alright?"

"Alright.", You watched as she left and waited until hearing the second door to your room close before squealing happily, the night had gone amazingly and you'd been carried back to your room by the most attractive woman you thought you'd ever seen. You'd definitely be staying.

(Not my art, found on google :3)

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

Can you write about what the brothers would say about mc pegging them? 😌 Like mc asks and what would happen if the brother said yes?

Ohhh yes I've been waiting for a ask about this 😺

Brothers & side characters reaction to MC asking to peg them

Lucifer

Once the words came out of MC's mouth he looked at them horrified. "What?" He asks like MC just said something wrong on accident. Once he found out MC was serious he shut it down. "Absolutely not only I'm allowed to top " he huffs out. Though through some begging he does say maybe.

Mammon

He immediately turns red and yells out a "WHAT!?". After calming him down he then mumbles out "uh...maybe if yer nice about it..." Let's be honest he does want it and he doesn't want it nice

Levi

"E-EH!?" He immediately panics. Of course he knew what that was how could he not. He calmed down enough to speak and looks at MC with a red face and nervous trembly voice "I-I might agree t-to that..." He stutters out

Satan

His eyes widen and he sits there stunned for a moment. "Uh...what?" He says still shocked MC would ask such a thing. Once he finds out they are serious he blushes hard "....I might think about it okay. DO NOT SPREAD THIS AROUND" He states

Asmos

He feels as if MC is messing with him at first but once they show they are serious he immediately jumps up and opens his closet and well. Let's just say many toys decorated it. He has every shape, size, color, etc. "choose what you'd like and I'll get ready" he says like he can't wait.

Beel

Completely confusion. Once MC explains what it is he blushes. "Ah....I could try it ..I don't know how well it would work .." he says. He of course was willing to anything MC brought to the table

Belphie

He immediately glares at you but his face is red. "Are you serious MC?" He says bitterly. He kept being sassy before suddenly stating after some silence was left between the two "....maybe" and he storms off as MC has a sly grin on their face.

Diavolo

He blushes hard but laughs a bit nervously "c-come again MC?😃" He says. He eventually nods his head he's down for anything he's literally head over heels for MC completely. "It sounds exciting...I'll be willing to try it!"

Barb

He raises a brow and sets down his tea. "If you're serious about it then so am I" he says and looks MC dead in the eyes. He's not backing down from a challenge and also it's pleasing MC sooo

Solomon

His eyes widen "what-" he then laughs a bit thinking MC is joking. "Oh you're serious..." He then looks away then back at MC like he's contemplating something before sighing "I guess ...I'm willing to try it out" he says. He really doesn't know where this will go...

Simeon

His whole face heats up and he stutters out "W-What?" He knew exactly what that was because he's thought about it often. He does shyly nod after Mc responds again.

Meso

He immediately spits out his tea and starts coughing. He glares at MC with a red face "don't play with me you know I wouldn't enjoy that" he says and pouts turning away from MC. Great another bitch fit

Thriteen

Stares at MC and sighs "finally I was waiting forever" she suddenly says. She's been wanting MC to for a while now. "Everything is ready when you want to do it" she says oh so nonchalant.

Raphael

He looks at MC then sighs "I don't know what that means but I'm sure it has some sexual innuendo to it" he says and rubs his temple. After Mc explained his cheeks tinted a bit "well...its not as bad as I thought it would be" he says and MC perks up "I never said yes" he immediately chimed in shutting down MC. He does think about it though.

[incogrio]

monster mash!

SYNOPSIS: in which you go on a pumpkin patch date with your boyfriends!

pairing: : poly!ot5 x gn!member!reader (no gender mentioned, but written with male reader in mind) word count: 1.8k+ genre: enough fluff to heal my soul permanently warnings: cringe? overly affectionate? a changbin joke (in good fun i love him) mayhaps very american view of pumpkin patches,, queers,, etc

AUTHORS NOTE: soooo... yeah i've been gone a WHILE. i would say a lot has been going on but that would lowkey be a lie. i just sort of lost the motivation to... do anything really LOL,,, but i hope u guys have not forgotten abt me!!! i may be a tad rusty, these may be a tad out of character, i may be a tad terrified of posting this. moral of the story, hope u enjoy, i've missed u guys. 

fall has always been your favorite time of year. the orange falling leaves, slight chill in the air, and the pumpkin flavored treats never failed to enthrall you. but, being a kpop idol comes with its downsides. the main one: no time off. 

and so, you spent every halloween practicing with your members, filming to do specials and squeezing in a singular mini chocolate bar in secret at the end of the night. in many ways, it was depressing. but what the emptiness left behind was love.

you and your members had slowly begun a relationship. in the beginning, it was out of sheer desperation and loneliness. a quickie to get you through a long schedule. but, throughout your years together, all six of you had fallen in love. and today, you were finally getting some time off, and what better way to spend a chilly autumn day than at a pumpkin patch. finally, you had all crammed into the van you’d usually used for traveling between schedules, except today, there were snacks strewn about, no chauffer, yeonjun took that job, blankets and jokes. 

“guys, what if we lose soobin in the corn maze, he’ll look just like the scare actors!” beomgyu loudly exclaimed mockingly over the hum of the engine and radio blasting music. 

soobin, in the passenger seat beside yeonjun, simply turned to look at gyu. squinted eyes and lips fighting a smile dawned his face. 

“guys!” soobin repeated, mimicking beomgyu, “what if we lose beomgyu in the pumpkin patch, he’ll look just like the pumpkins!” huening kai loudly burst into laughter, clapping his hands together. 

beomgyu, who was sitting next to you, let his jaw drop in shock. he picked up a bag of chips and hurled it at soobins face, to which the entire van erupted into laughter and claps. 

soobin turned once more, “y/n! restrain him!” 

you laughed reaching out to wiggle your fingers into beomgyu’s sides, to which he squirmed and loudly squealed.

“ah! stop! i thought you loved me!” beomgyu loudly protested through his laughs. 

after much reprimanding from yeonjun for being too loud, soobin delivered a chaste kiss to yeonjun’s cheek. everyone pretended not to see the blush. it wasn’t long until you felt a small tap on your shoulder. you turn to see one of your boyfriends, huening kai. he was dawned in his brown star sweater, black hair all strewn his forehead. he looked like if fall and spring had a child, and if they had named it after their hopes to become summer. 

he points to a nintendo ds in his hand, and then glances to the empty seat next to him. you smile at his sheepish request, and climb over the seats to collapse next to him. he immediately covers you up with a blanket, and you lean your head on his shoulder. almost instantaneously, you are enthralled by his soft, deep voice muttering to you his actions on the pokemon game displayed on his screen. you wrap your arms around his, snuggling into him as you slowly close your eyes.

———

when you awaken, you notice that what once was a soft, brown sweater, is now a tan colored shirt. you don’t need to look up to know who it is. you let out a soft hum, and taehyun smiles to himself. he softly shrugs the shoulder you lay on, coaxing you to lift your head. once you concede, you realize the rest of the van is empty. 

“we’re five minutes away,” tae says softly. “but beomgyu was gonna shit his pants, so we stopped here. everyone else is getting snacks.” your tired brain takes longer than usual to deduce that you have arrived at a gas station, but once you do, you look back at tae. 

“you didn’t want to get off?” you ask, voice deeper than usual from sleep.

tae shakes his head, reaching to you and fixing a stray hair gently. 

“wanted to spend some time with you, even if you were asleep.” he says sheepishly, and you internally aw. he leans forward, his bright black eyes glancing down to your lips. you let your lips brush for a moment before taking control, jerking your head forward to close your lips around his. he lets out a deep breath, as though he had been without air for years. you smile against his lips, and allow yourself to get lost for moment. 

“guys, stop being gay.” you hear beomgyu say from the open van door. tae separates himself from you, smiling widely, eyes crinkling around his shiny eyes. 

you turn to gyu, “if you want a kiss too, just say that.” 

“what if i do? i sat next to you on purpose, you know. but then you moved!” beomgyu whines out, to which you chuckle. he was only sated after about 5 kisses and two cheek squeezes. 

——— 

when you all finally arrive at your destination, you were welcomed in by a large “fall pumpkin festival” sign in large, blocky letters printed on a wooden sign. 

you pile out of the car, soobin immediately floating to your side and slipping his pinky to wrap around yours. you all slowly figure out where you are meant to go, and begin walking up a quaint gravel path. at the entrance, you were immediately bombarded with the sounds and sights. giant bouncy houses, food trucks, carnival games, corn mazes, even pig races were all at your disposal. immediately, you all gravitated towards the small race course that winded up tiny ramps and around small obstacles. 

gyu points at one of the pigs grazing, “look, it’s bang pd!” soobin immediately brings a finger to his mouth, signaling to gyu to stop talking as you all giggled. 

“i say the one with black spots is gonna win,” you declare, pointing at the small pig who was currently sniffing his own poop.

“no, the pink ones gonna win.” soobin declared, “he’s bigger.” 

“wouldn’t bigger mean he moves slower?” tae mentioned, and soon, you were divided, three vs three, on which pig was gonna win. you, tae, and gyu on the side of the black spotted pig, which you had affectionately named ppulverse pt 2. soobin, yeonjun, and kai on the side of the pink one, whom they had named changbin. when the race had finally begun, you all cheered obnoxiously loud for your respective pigs. ppulverse pt. 2 fell at one point, and gyu dramatically fell to his knees in utter disappointment. it was safe to say that it wasn’t hard for changbin to win. your team pouted as yeonjun, kai, and soobin all exchanged celebratory kisses and pats on the back. 

“how does it feel to LOSE!” said yeonjun as he pointed at your dejected faces.

“i’m never fucking you ever again.” you said with a monotone, to which kai once again laughed and clapped. 

yeonjun simply laughed with a cocky smile. “aren’t i the one doing the fucking?” he whispers to tae. 

soon after, you all decided to try your hand at apple bobbing. and then you were painting your ppulbatu’s on pumpkins and buying them for an absurd amount of money. yeonjun decided to try his hand at a strong arm competition. lets just say, kai gave him lots of ‘you tried your best’ kisses. 

“it’s getting dark, lets go into the corn maze.” kai suggested, and you all simultaneously stopped walking. he let out a soft hum in confusion.

“im not doing that.” taehyun immediately protested, and immediately all the other members agreed. except for you.

you sigh, shuffling your feet. “i’ll do it on the condition that i get funnel cake beforehand.” kai smiles, reaching up and doing a salute motion with his hand. kai ordered the cake as yeonjun decided to “prove” himself by winning you a fox plushie. 

“watch, baby, watch your sexy boyfriend!” he loudly exclaimed, and you covered your face in embarrassment. he paid the man behind the stand five dollars, and received five rings in exchange. you lingered behind him as he lined up his shot, and tossed them into the rows of empty bottles one by one. as though suddenly possessed by an athletically capable alcoholic, the rings perfectly lined up with every single bottle.

“are you proud?” he asked as he handed you the large plushie. 

“very!” you say happily, pressing a kiss to his plush pink lips. by the time you returned to the rest of the boys, they had already begun digging into the funnel cake. you sat down, sitting the plushie next to you as though he were a person. all the members immediately mutter soft ‘woaaahhh’’s at yeonjun’s accomplishment.

finally, after much picking at the cake in slow motion to stall, you had to venture into the corn maze. junnie, soobin, gyu and tae all sat on a hay bale near the entrance to the maze as they hyped you up. the fox plushie in one hand, and kai’s sleeve in the other, you both slowly walked into the maze. 

kai walked as though he were walking through a mall at midday. meanwhile, you were practically pulling off his sweater by the sheer grip you had on him. the first scare actor noticed you guys before you noticed them. they took note of your apparent fear, and targeted you instead of kai. 

right as you were walking by, a man dressed as a zombie launched out of the corn maze and shouted in your face. you screamed bloody murder, stumbling back into kai and covering your face with your plushie. kai immediately laughed, and you smacked him as he practically dragged you to continue walking. you kept your eyes on the actor as you walked farther and farther away. 

the next scare actor targeted kai, determined to make the unfazed man crack. she was dressed as a pilgrim, with a giant axe stuck inside the front of her skull. she jumped out, grabbing her head axe and yanking it out of herself, before maniacally swinging it at you and kai. you, once again, screamed out, pulling kai backwards by his sweater and shaking. kai simply stepped back, letting the woman’s manic behavior come to a halt before laughing to himself and continuing on his way, you in tow. 

the woman stopped her acting as you left her sight, letting her axe get stuck back in her head and turning to the zombie actor, shrugging. 

for the rest of the maze, all of the actors were targeting kai, desperately trying to get him to so much as flinch, blink, anything! ironically, the only person they managed to scare every time was you. after what felt like an eternity, you finally looped around to the entrance, and saw your boys all chit chatting. you sprinted out of the maze, pulling kai behind you and immediately shouting about what had happened. you described every single scare as kai hugged you, and the rest of the members diligently listened to your maniacal rambling. 

despite the scares, you were comforted in the simple fact that no matter how dark or scary a place may be, your boys would always be there to listen. 

and so as you snuggled into the van once more, next to tae once more, you smiled to yourself. fall was finally your favorite season again. 

there is a taglist! if u want to be on it, put in an ask :3

don’t forget your daily click!!

requests, as always, are open! no promises tho :(

[alexa-yukiyu]

Hey there Alex fika! I wanna tell you that I really love your whitebeard pirates stories:) ,So I was wondering if I could please request whitebeard pirates x female child! Reader in a scenario where the child brings home a younger child with them to the moby dick. Asking to keep the another child as a new siblings.(You can decide where y/n found the child)

Thanks so much for your hard work 💕💖💖💖 ,Have a amazing day!

Feel free to ignore:)

Finners Keepers (Whitebeard x child!reader)

A/N this piece makes me wonder how many of whiteboard children have just been taken in because his sons pulled an Ariana grande and liked a stray and got them.

Dividers by @/firefly-graphics

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for Reader in Japanese for the enjoyment of reader and oc character readers both

"Papa! Papa!" Dokucha exclaimed as she ran towards the blond giant as he sat on a clearing sipping from a tokkuri 

"What is it?" he called, glancing at the girl only to begin choking as he took in what they were holding toward him.

"Ah! Papa, are you okay?!" she cried as she lowered the baby on her hands, scrambling around trying to find a way to help the man

"W-what is that?! He sputtered out as he pointed his tokkuri to the small bundle on Dokucha's arms, gaining her attention as she smiled, seemingly remembering the load she was carrying.

In the child's hands was what appeared to be a Fishman hatchling, a shark Fishman if he had to bet. As they cuddled into the small girl, he took note of the child's skin, a pale blue color that glimmered in the sun, droplets of water still covering it, and a pair of what he guessed would one day grow to be needle sharp teeth slightly poking out of the hatchling's lip. If the way he held his gums in what appeared to be pain was anything to go by, he would guess that he was currently teething, much to the chagrin of the hatchling as they cried into Dokucha's shoulder.

"It's a baby!" she proudly declared as she cradled the baby, as he often did for her.

"Where the hell did you take a baby from?" 

"He was alone on the shore, Papa! They didn't have a mommy or daddy!"

The man frowned; it was more than likely that the child had been orphaned with their parents been taken in by the world government as slaves for the celestial; it had been occurring more often these days as the strength and value of their race kept rising making them a hot commodity among higher ranks.

"Papa, can we keep them, please!" she begged, a pout on her face as she stared up at the man

"A pirate ship is no place for a toddler, Dokucha!" he growled.

"But you took me in! I was a toddler, too, and you still took me in, so can't we do the same?! I will take care of them, so please! I will be the best big sister ever!" she promised, hugging the shark close to her

He grumbled as he looked at the child's determined glint. Despite their young age, they had already taken after him, though he couldn't say he was happy she had learned his stubbornness.

"Fine."

"Really!!? I'm a big sister! I'm a big sister!" she squealed, jumping up and down in glee.

"If you keep shaking him like that, you won't be for long!" 

"Ah! I'm sorry, baby!" she cried, looking down at the stink eye the Fishman sent her way, only receiving a sheepish smile in return

"Papa, what are we going to name him?" 

"You found him, so you name the brat," he called as he returned to his his previous task of finishing his sake, making sure to keep an eye on the two children

"I'm going to name him Namur!"

"Where the hell did you get a name like that?" he mused 

"He looks like a tiger, right?"

He raised a brow at her words, taking a look at the toddler once again and taking in his appearance, a scowl growing on his face as he did

"He looks like a shark."

"No, uh! Look! He has strips right there!" she yelled, pointing at the toddler's cheeks as a similar scowl grew on her face at her father's words.

"Those are his gills, you fool!"

"Bleh!" 

🦈

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

@hannahbarberra162

@epochal-oracle

[macabresymphonies]

(minor TMA spoilers and general TMAGP spoilers) Having so much time to think about incidents in TMAGP due to hiatus made me realize that all of them, to some degree, contain the theme of "sealing your own fate" or "consequences of greed/hubris".

You see, while I do not believe that TMA had a consistent theme every statement was based on, the overall messege seemed to be that horrors are inevitable. Once you've been marked you cannot escape, no amount of therapy or running can release you from it. I think Michael Crew is the best example of that:

"The thing that chased me, you see, it was an arcing branch of the Twisting Deceit, taken shape to follow me. (...) And I knew within that book was something that could not only release me from my pursuer, but chain my being to that rush of wind and vertigo forever." Michael Crew in "The Coming Storm"

You cannot escape it once you've been marked, only bind yourself to different one and this marking is, most often than not, nonconsensual. Jane Prentiss would run around and infect random people, Not!Them didn't need anybody to come to them before it was sealed and Peter Lukas also tended to just disappear random people just to feed. The fears were very predatorial and active and the victims were selected based on their own fears and anxieties. This is not to say there weren't victims who failed due to their own curiosity/hubris/greed, but I think it's telling that few of the most greedy/curious people in the series, Mikaele Salesa and Jurgen Leitner, stayed largely uncorrupted by the fears not cause they avoided interacting with them, but simply avoided getting marked by them.

Now we come to protocol and every incident so far has the main subject of that incident actively engage with the horror and have one or multiple points at which they could stop and leave, but they do not. Daria went to the tattoo shop on her own accord, Harriet wanted her husband back no matter what and even Dr Webber was described to be able to leave the garden whenever he wanted, but, due to hiding from authorities, chose to stay until it was too late for him. Every incident so far seems to have this theme of consent, characters detailing very clearly that consent was given to engage with the abnormality:

"Ah well that’s a tricky one. Sort of? In many ways he stabbed himself on me. By the time he saw the needles we were already very close. Close enough to smell his sweat and cheap aftershave. In fact, he barely had time to be afraid before we embraced. He’s terrified now of course…" Needles in "Introductions"

"The young man's interview was not exceptional as he had no experience in charity work, no driving license nor any demonstrable experience in retail. He claimed however, to know the Hilltop Centre better than anyone and as he was the only applicant in the role I elected to give him a try." Dianne Margolis in "Give and Take"

"I hesitated a moment but before I could consider her strangeness a particularly high tide of color swept down the corridor toward me. I panicked, and before I realized what I was doing I had darted inside the lift and slammed the close-door button." Terrance Stevens in "Running on Empty"

It does not matter some of these are under duress or deception, all of them contain some type of action "confirming" consent. Mind you I do not believe all the victims of of these horrors confirm consent in some way, like people who get killed by Bonzo probably didn't agree to it (though considering he's most likely a hitman, some degree of "you agreed to this by overstepping your boundaries" philosophy could be applied), but subjects of the incident very much pay for consequences of their own actions.

That brings us to OIRA itself, and how every character so far seems to actively dig themselves deeper by their own accord, Gwen wants position of power, Colin wants to figure out the system, Sam wants to know why he wasn't chosen and Alice is in it for the money (for her brother which still counts as consent). This is literally said directly to us in episode 1:

"If you hate working here so completely, you are perfectly within your rights to resign. No one is forcing you to stay here." Lena to Gwen in "First Shift"

All of this, all this horror is happening due to their own accord, curiosity, obligation, greed for knowledge or just for the money, it does not matter, the choice is there, but they delve deeper anyway. We will see how long it holds up, but I will be on the look out for this theme in the future.

[evanescewriting]

"i can see all the colors"

above me they are shining and finally, I can see all the colors that surround me.

CONTENT: Vague descriptions of injury, descriptions of character death, potentially disturbing sensory (rotting corpse smell mentioned, etc.) comforting character death (for Curly), regret (for Anya’s situation), j***y is not named (🖕) SYNOPSIS: Captain Curly gets a glimpse of the universe outside the foamed up walls of the drifting Tulpar. AUTHOR'S NOTE: mouthwashing folks how are we feeling about that ending

In the end,

no one came.

No one came to free him from the cryopod. No one came to free the bodies scattered around the ship - no one to bring them home. Or for that one, dead, rotting pixel he had no choice but to now see - no one to throw him out into the endless universe like trash.

It was just him.

The bodies.

The tulpar.

And the cryopod he wasn’t meant for.

God, if one could hear him this far from Earth, he would give anything, anything, to be a captain worthy of that honor. Anything to go back in time, pick up the pieces of his sense he let fall to his feet, shattering and cutting him and all that once stood around and with him. And how they bled. How they bled so much that he thought, perhaps, the crimson beneath his feet was a red carpet that marked his glory. His leadership.

Perhaps this was punishment.

To want to give everything to go back as you freeze in a pod, slowly, slowly dying with no one to come save you.

A captain always goes down with his ship.

He wishes he could close his eyes - burning from dryness, and the cold. Perhaps this was punishment too. For not seeing. Now, all he could do was see. He felt as if he had been stripped away of everything. Gone were the skin and limbs. Leaving only behind the most vulnerable, most human mechanisms in his body. To see. To hear. To create sounds of pain, sadness, and desperation. He was a canvas of red - a tiny splotch of blue amongst the various crimson shades. Scaled small on the canvas, but within it so much knowledge. So many things that had finally been seen.

Time stretches by so slowly.

It rakes its nails across him and his ship. Chipping away at resolve and cleaning the remnants of sanity from his mind.

And still,

no one comes.

His ship is failing. His body is failing. What was it, that saying he had thought of not long ago as he considered his punishment? Ah- a captain always goes down with his ship. Well, Captain Curly was going down with his ship.

And his crew.

They are rotting. He is rotting.

And how long had it been, counting his time through the days, hours, and seconds that had gone by since he was.. not this. He felt that he had become something more. Something different. But truly - he was still himself, wasn’t he? The crash had changed him, of course, but isn’t that similar to the process of a sudden metamorphosis? It felt more burden than butterfly - but what if there were still the remnants of the caterpillar in him? Would it be somehow possible to call upon them? To use the skills from the past and translate them to something he could do now?

Yes - yes he thinks perhaps he could. He could call upon them. Use the strength of this form to deliver the most powerful something of all. Do something so very caterpillar (human) while being so butterfly (in his view, not human).

In this freezing, empty chrysalis, he reverts back to his roots, opening his jaw with pain - but that was a familiar thing already - and wheezing out something that only reverberates within the chamber. Echoing down the long hallway of his punishment, lost on the ears of the dead.

“S-S - orry.”

And then no one came.

And then he could not close his eyes.

And then, just before the end, he realized he was neither caterpillar, nor butterfly, nor human, nor anything more or less than that - but maybe, just maybe - he was forgiven.

And then he went down with his ship.

The metal walls and layers of the Tulpar had unraveled itself. All that remained was the exoskeleton of a ship - bones and ribs and skull - drifting through space. One, singular pod still connected to it. Two long dead bodies bound in their infinite voyage.

But maybe that wasn’t true.

Because he feels himself, somehow, come out from the pod - standing just on the edge of the peeling metal. Feet planted impossibly confidently with the absence of gravity.

Beyond death - Captain Curly can still see.

There are so many colors.

Purple, blue, orange, red - a cornucopia of color beyond imagination. Hues and shades the human mind could not even digest. He can see them all before him.

“I think my favorite might be the blues.” There is a voice behind him - sounding different when it lacks timidness.

“Guess mine!” Cheery, useless ray of sunshine that beams so far away from the sun.

“Green.” Straight to the point. But Curly knows that underneath the tone is a fondness for the two.

He can feel them behind him. Eyes turned to the mass of color above.

“Close! It’s pink, Swansea. Me and Anya’s colors make purple.” Daisuke says, and he just knows that maybe he is putting his hands on his hips in a ‘see how greatly that works out?’ motion.

For a moment, silence passes. Comfortable. Peaceful.

“What about you, Captain? What’s your favorite?”

And then he turns - and they are before them.

The crew. The three he should have saved. The three he could not save. The three he failed.

Whatever form he takes now - they stare at him with indifference. Passive curiosity on the simplicity of his favorite enveloped in the beautiful mass, far away from life.

He feels, somewhere within, the feeling of a held in cry or scream that only comes out as a freeing-

“Maybe the yellow. But the pink is nice - so is the blue.”

“Yellow is the best choice.” Swansea voices his agreement as he looks back above him.

“Yeah. Yellow is a good choice, Captain.” And of course, Daisuke’s eyes follow his mentors, even here. Even now.

“Blue is the best choice, though.” Anya says as she joins their gazes lifting back up.

He wants to ask them: was this always just right outside those walls? All these colors he could never see? All these ideas and concepts? All that pain and suffering?

But he knows that they’ll tell him yes, it was. And only now can you see it, Captain.

Only now can you see all the freedom, the relief, the joy, the stars and their colors.

And tell us - tell us when you come to that conclusion, too.

Tell us if you think it is beautiful.

[cosmerelists]

Stormlight Characters Meet an Octopus

As requested by @miss-madithe-baddie :)

It's Octopus Time on Roshar!

1. Kaladin

Kaladin: [stares at octopus] Octopus: [stares at Kaladin] Kaladin: So it...what? Is it one of those creatures that squishes down into crevices during storms? It doesn't look like it has bones. Kaladin: Kinda big though. Would need a big crevice. Octopus: [stares at Kaladin] Kaladin: ... Kaladin: I feel like it's judging me, somehow.

2. Bridge Four

Moash: Well, I don't like it. Moash: An animal with no carapace is unnatural. Rlain: ...You're an animal without a carapace. Moash: W-Well, it's different for humans! We can build houses! Drehy: Maybe the giant squish bug builds houses. Drehy: We all saw it pick up the shell and put it on its head. Skar: That's more fashion than construction, I think. Sigzil: We saw it go into the water. It's a sea creature. Sigzil: Sea creatures don't need carapaces like land animals do. Moash: It's on the land right now!! Skar: Guys, shut up! It's wearing a shell as a hat again! Renarin: It really is quite fashionable.

3. Adolin

Adolin: Sure is weird looking! Adolin: Look! It has little sticky cups under its legs! Kaladin: D-Don't grab it! It's gonna bite you! Adolin: I bet it can crawl up walls 'n' stuff! Adolin: Hey, isn't that something you can do too, Bridgeboy? Kaladin: I use Stormlight! Not sticky vine legs! Adolin: Bet its some kind of tiny Windrunner. Kaladin: It is NOT!

4. Shallan

Shallan: Hush, all of you. Shallan: This thing is beautiful! Gorgeous! Octopus: [abruptly changes color to match surroundings] Shallan: !! Shallan: Talented! Amazing! Shallan: This might be the most important drawing I'll ever do! Adolin: ...You drew me last week for our wedding anniversary? Shallan: [already drawing] And you didn't even change color ONCE!

5. Lopen

Lopen: [staring intently at octopus] Lopen: [staring intently at octopus] Lopen: [staring intently at octopus] Lopen: [concentration face] Rock: ...You're trying to grow more arms, aren't you? Lopen: I didn't know EIGHT was an option!

6. Zahel

Zahel: I've seem those things before. Zahel: Very smart. Zahel: Very tasty. Rock: ...Tasty you say? Shallan: NO

7. Navani

Navani: Seeing this bizarre creature gives me so many ideas. Navani: Dalinar, do you think we should build semi-aquatic vehicles that can go on both land and water and develop color-changing camouflage technology? Dalinar [trying to be a supportive husband]: And perhaps the land-water vehicle could have...tentacles? Navani: No ideas are wrong in the brainstorming stage. Navani: But also no.

8. Dieno (the Mink)

Dieno: [gives octopus a bro nod] Octopus: [gives Dieno a bro nod back] Dalinar: ...What was that? Dieno: Ah, it is nothing! Just two master escape artists recognizing each other. Dalinar: Escape...artist? Dalinar: This creature has done nothing but sit on that rock and occasionally go into that pool this whole time. Dieno: Yet nevertheless, people like us...we recognize each other. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: [doubtfully] If you say so. 

9. Dalinar

It is later. Dalinar is walking through Urithiru. Something from above touches his face with a thwick sound. He looks up. The Octopus is looking down at him from the ceiling, one tentacle reaching down. Lift is also in the ceiling. Lift gives him a thumbs up. Dalinar keeps walking.

10. Lift

Lift: Today has been the greatest day of my life. Lift: I had no IDEA there so many vents 'n' shit that someone like you could squish through! Lift: And when you used your dark water attack to push that button? Amazing! Lift: Even I had trouble keeping up with you!! Lift: Truly, you are my new best friend.

[merakiui]

his blueberry eyes (anagapesis in paradise).

yandere!azul ashengrotto x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, death/murder of reader, obsession, codependency, emotional manipulation, psychological abuse, mentions of self-harm/suicide attempt, brief mention of pregnancy + loss of baby, vague mentions of binge-eating/disordered eating, angst, characters written as 18+ note - the color blue haunts azul. // loosely based on clingy, codependent bf azul.

the prelude - forever lost in cerulean paradise.

Azul Ashengrotto, a man forever bound in burdensome blue, surfaces from the numbing sweetness of an all-consuming slumber and finds the tops of his hands are littered with deep, dark, desperate scratches. They’re furious and distinct, standing out like pearly teeth on black tile, spotting his pale, paper-thin skin like a child’s poor attempt at proper handwriting. Carefully, he runs a trembling finger over the length of one as it travels from ring finger to the delicate bone of his wrist. A wet laugh bubbles out of him, ink-stained and heartbreakingly pained. He wipes tar-colored saliva from the edge of his mouth, smearing it, and shudders through another laugh. The sound wavers as if caught in his esophagus, pronounced choked and raw.

“Ah… I did it again.”

He sits back on his haunches, small and scared like the squishy thing he once was all those years ago, and inhales a steadying breath. His vision, once narrowed so scarily slim, widens to encapsulate the rest of the sitting room, which is cast in a cool glow from the crystalline cityscape beyond. He spies his haunted reflection in the glass, his hair mussed and matted. From sweat, most likely. It’s unsightly, his unkempt, ugly appearance, but it’s him staring back. 

Looking on with those bewitching blueberry eyes.

Swallowing thickly, he pushes a swoop of silver hair out of his face and whispers, “I fell asleep…again. Right. Again. That makes it—what is it now? Four times in a week? No, not quite… I fell asleep, but then I…”

His gaze slides from the windows to the floor. Lying sprawled and stiff, amidst shattered glass and crumpled, lemon-hued tulips, is the love of his life.

“Ah, I see now.” He runs two fingers over the injuries on his hand. His nose wrinkles once and then twice. His throat is set aflame, constricting like a python coiled around its prey. Blueberry eyes sink in a rising tide, overtaken by tears spotting a weary lash line. “My world… My angelfish…”

He forces himself to stand on rubbery legs. He stumbles once, reaches for the coffee table’s reliable support like a newborn grasping their mother’s outstretched finger, and peers at a shattered portrait splayed on the floor. It’s you on your wedding day, flashing a toothy grin at the camera, while he holds you close, an arm secured around your waist. Clinging to you like you were the only buoy in a rocky sea. Planting parasitic roots by way of attraction, and you were simply too blinded by the charms of shimmering, sparkling cheer to realize. So was he in that regard—struck dumb with a too-large love, unable to handle the full capacity of what it meant to fall into a sugary-sweet romance.

It’s a happy picture, one of many, but then the memories of the many elude him at this moment. He, the brilliant, benevolent actor, struggles to differentiate the real from the fake. What is a smile if not another foggy reflection of something far sadder? What is laughter if not the sounds of a hollowed sweetheart howling joyous tunes to placate?

His fingers curl around the wooden table. It’s too familiar and, as if having touched something hot, he jerks away. Azul turns his hands over, searching for imperfections he’s already found. Slowly, he pivots to confront the body.

“My darling angelfish, please wake up. It’s not… It’s not very nice of you to play pretend. We’ve been over this.” He shakes his head and steps around the overturned vase and puddle of flower-spotted water. He lowers to your height, offering a hand you don’t take. “Please, my love. I’m sorry for scaring you. I won’t do it again. I… I’m getting better, you see. I’m doing it for us. I want to get better. I promised I would, didn’t I? Aren’t I a man of my word?”

You remain there, eyes shut in blissful permanence. Azul sucks in a breath through grit teeth. You’re always so…difficult. Sometimes. Not always. And even when you act like this, he still cherishes you. But fighting is not something he loves, and he wants this feud to end sooner rather than later.

Azul Ashengrotto hates the sharp, bitter sides to his marriage.

“I can be patient,” he says, though it’s more of a consolation than a promise. “I’ll be patient. But, really, being vindictive will get you nowhere, my dear. Haven’t we been over this?”

Still, no matter what he says, you don’t stir.

He allows silence to fill the room to a suffocating degree.

One minute passes. Then two. He drums his fingers along a newly forming bruise on his arm.

Now it’s three.

Four.

Five.

It’s too quiet without your pretty voice filling the empty room, filling the hollow in his heart, filling the gaps in his brain to snuff any other self-destructive thoughts from pushing through.

“I love you,” he whispers, less forceful this time. “And… And I’m sorry. Truly, I mean it. I’ll never put my hands on you again. Never. And I’ll go back to therapy. I won’t skip my sessions. I’ll even take my meds!” A crooked smile stretches across his lips. “I promise. I won’t lie to you. I’ll leave the cooking to you. I won’t touch sharp objects. I’ll stop hiding knives from you. I’ll be honest from now on. So please…” His voice cracks, weak and raspy. “P-Please… Please don’t ignore me…”

Azul reaches out to you, fitting his trembling hand in yours. It’s cold. He brings it to his face, kisses the top of it, and then cradles it close. His shoulders shake, wracked with silent sobs.

It’s cold.

His breath hitches.

You’re cold.

“Angelfish, please…” He sniffles. The tears are already falling in thick, salty rivulets. He’s always been an ugly crier. “Please don’t leave me. Without you I…”

His untrimmed nails dig into your palm, and a great sob shudders through his body when he presses his thumb into your wrist to check your pulse.

It’s stopped.

He scrubs his face with his free hand. A fruitless effort. The tears won’t cease.

Without you, I’m nothing.

He gathers you, stiff, cold you, in his arms and holds you like you’re a treasured childhood plushy who’s lost its stuffing. His reflection blinks back at him, blueberry eyes awash in watery tragedy.

Without you, I’m all alone.

He spies the markings on your neck and his throat closes up. He grabs your face between both hands, searching it for any indication of life. A lie, surely. You’re just pretending. You’ve always done that, putting on acts to keep him and everyone else pleased. You, the best actor, knew him better than he knows himself. Because, in spite of the loose, fraying seams, you took them, poured remnants of your heart into each tear, and stitched them up until they were better again. You’ve sewn him anew when he thought all hope was lost.

So it’s impossible. A lie, definitely.

You’re a pretender, and he’s the captivated audience member. Soon you’ll open your beautiful eyes and shout, “I got you! You should have seen the look on your face!” And the cycle will repeat itself. He’ll pretend to be okay and you’ll follow along with a sweet smile, chopping vegetables with the same knife he used to threaten his own life days prior.

You can’t fool him.

Only you do. And you have.

He peels your eyelids open. Your listless stare pierces something in his brain, wires the circuitry correctly so that Point A and Point B can connect.

With a horrified gasp, Azul drops your limp corpse. Your head smacks against the floorboards, but you don’t groan in pain. Because there isn’t any pain to be felt. Because you’re not going to wake up. Because this is the final act and the curtain has closed on your skillful pretending.

Azul Ashengrotto, a man forever bound in burdensome blue, has lost the very person who once made him feel so whole.

the first vow - to have and to hold.

“We should make a baby.”

In the first month of being newlyweds, you’d told him that. He leaned over to nudge you with his hip while you painted swirling designs on a blank kitchen wall. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not opposed to it.”

You pulled away from your canvas and grinned. “Neither am I.”

“Sooo,” he encouraged, nodding, unable to curb the glee in his curling smile. “What? Should we make one?”

“Can we?”

“This conversation feels rather circular, my dear.”

“You’re circular.” You stuck your tongue out at him and dipped your brush in a bright blue. “I’m gonna paint an entire field of cornflowers on this wall.”

Azul hesitated at the sudden change in subject, considered the meaning of a cornflower, and snorted in amusement. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “If you want a baby, just say so and I’ll give you one.” He nosed your neck, humming into your skin. Sneaky hands slipped under your loose cotton T-shirt to cradle your stomach. “I once read a statistic that claimed marriage improves the outcome of a pregnancy. Shall we see if it’s true?”

You rested your free hand over his. “If you help me paint.”

“You know I’m no good at art.”

“Anyone can be an artist.”

“Angelfish—”

You shifted in his arms and held up a clean paintbrush. “Anyone, Zul. That includes you.”

He stared at the brush, frowning. “I’m nowhere near as good as you.”

“I’ll have none of that talk.” You rested your head against his chest and peered up at him through your lashes. A pleasant smile softened your face. “I don’t want this wall to be my masterpiece. I want it to be ours.”

“Yes… Yes, I’m aware. But even so—”

“The best things come in two, don’t they? Come on. You won’t know if you’ll enjoy something until you’ve tried it.”

“But I have, dear.”

“Not with me you haven’t.”

Azul laugh-scoffed. “Stubborn,” he chided, pinching your side and shaking his head in disbelief. One hand slid out from beneath your shirt to grasp the brush. “I suppose I can try. An entire field of cornflowers won’t paint itself now, will it?” He winked.

“That’s the spirit! I think blue suits this room, don’t you?”

“I’m struggling to see your vision, darling.”

“It’s a nice color. One of my favorites. And…” You turned in his arms to press your lips to his cheek. “Blue is you.”

He was smiling; he could feel it—the tug of toothy jubilance. “Is that right?”

“It is! I thought that the moment we met. If it weren’t for your pretty eyes, I don’t think I’d have approached you.”

“Ah, right. You thought they were rather lovely, didn’t you?” His hold on you tightened as he recalled the memory. “How did you say it? ‘Sir, I just had to come up to you to compliment your eyes! They’re the nicest shade of bewitching blueberry blue I’ve ever seen.’ You said it like that, yes? And it was the first time I’d ever heard such a strangely specific compliment. Normally, most go for the outfit or the hair.”

“But you liked it, didn’t you?” you say, singing the question like a pansophical siren.

“I did. I…really did. I still do, in fact.”

Your body shook with your laughter. “Then it’s not so strange after all.”

“Not in the slightest.”

His fingers brushed your navel, a fleeting touch that turned giggles into shivers. You put your brush to the wall, but no designs bloomed. He did much the same, meeting your brush halfway, bristles dipped in friendly yellow. Only after he’d marred the wall with it did he realize his error.

You always ruin everything, he thought, resenting his clumsy ways. Everything you’ve ever touched, you ruin.

“Ooh, yellow and blue. That’s pretty. Like sunflowers and cornflowers!”

“But I… Your blue—I completely tarnished it.” He couldn’t help it; the words rushed out.

“What? No way! I like it.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“No, it’s true. It adds something to the blue. Makes it come together, you know?”

Azul stared at the wall, his face scrunched with poorly veiled vitriol. “I fail to see how that logic tracks.”

You gathered both brushes and set them down on the countertop before turning fully in his arms. “Hey, it’s okay. We can paint over it if you want. But… Well, personally, I think we should keep it.”

“Why?” It came out hushed, a broken murmur.

“Because it’s like happiness amidst sadness.” Like the angel you’ve always been, you reached up to cradle his face between your warm, gentle hands. He melted in your hold, weak to the ways in which you often lifted him up. “Too much of anything in abnormal amounts is unhealthy, so we need happiness to balance the sadness. Plus, if this room was solely blue, I might go crazy.”

He wanted to reject your explanation, gripe and groan about how it was much too fluffy and foolish, but you were right. You have always been right with emotions, reading him well enough to pick apart his tells.

It’s your lips on his that brought him back to himself. He blinked when you separated.

“You’re not perfect. No one is. Not even me, and this wall definitely isn’t going to be perfect either. But it’ll be special because we made it. Because it’s a unique combination of us.”

Azul felt himself nodding along.

“So don’t worry. Sometimes mishaps like these are for the best. They help put things into perspective—to show us something we might not have seen before.”

“Like painting a new picture.”

“Exactly!” You squeezed his hand. “So no pity parties, got it? Not unless we’re going to throw one together and have snacks and tea.”

He exhaled shakily, reciprocating your affectionate touch. “Thank you, my love.”

You smiled so beautifully that he was compelled to enshroud you entirely and keep you with him in a cage of limbs. To ensure you’d never leave. To keep you backdropped by a work-in-progress wall forever.

And for the first two years of your new life with him, you remained in that cozy, quaint house, adding details to the wall when you could. The kitchen shaped itself nicely, embroidered in an array of blue hues, accompanied by sunny yellows and frilly whites. Every morning, you’d stand at the counter and cook, ever the early riser, and he’d drag himself in just after the sun had peaked in the sky; and together you would eat in front of that wall, tied together by the bright, beautiful wonders of young love.

Sometimes it was the yummy temptations of good food that brought you together. Other times it was each other, bodies pressed flush. Clothes wrinkling and coming off in heaps. Windows left open in the aftermath to bring in sweet spring breezes. Gathering each other and sitting in the bath, giggling about something silly. More kissing and touching; playful squeezing while washing the other. If Azul’s life had been a tragedy before, then this was certainly something far better. A new chapter in a new book with crisp, unturned pages, each one ripe and ready to receive love in loads.

You fell pregnant just as the changing winds ushered summer in, and suddenly that storybook blossomed considerably, pages stained with all things good. He had pinched himself before just to ensure this wasn’t a delusion or a dream, and finding that it was neither proved that there was indeed tenderness in his world. It was destiny that you two would meet by pure chance, fall for the other’s quirks and charms, and agree to a whirlwind marriage, so swept up in the authenticity of redamancy.

Azul thought his life couldn’t get any sweeter. A perfect wife, a perfect job, a perfect house, a perfect paradise built for two. It was a future he’d only ever fantasized about, an illusion he imagined to be forever out of his reach. But he had attained it, miraculously grasped it with both hands, and from here it would only be days and days of wonder and whimsy.

Thirty-one weeks into a perfect, pretty pregnancy, you fell again. Down the stairs, crumpled in a heap of limbs and broken promises. He stood at the top of the stairs, his chest heaving with the remnants of some animalistic emotion. You shattered like porcelain, a marionette cut free from her strings. The baby fell with you.

Then came the darkness: creeping, encroaching, all-consuming.

Then came the lies.

Then came the obsession with omniscience.

And all throughout it, you’d continue to imprison yourself in his eyes.

the second vow - to love and to cherish.

“You shouldn’t work so much.”

By the fourth year, he had told you that.

You looked up from your plate, which you’d spent most of dinner pushing the food around rather than actually eating. Meals carried out in this fashion, a cyclical routine you dreaded. Ever since he’d purchased a penthouse suite and moved you to the city, abandoning the life you had built in the tiny, two-story house with its friendly neighborhood of faces, your world became the sky: sad and cloudy. Always rainy. It was empty up there, and the luxuries he provided did nothing to fill the holes in your shattering heart.

You couldn’t paint any walls here, for they had already been colored in boring monochromes.

“But I like the coffee shop. Everyone’s really nice to me, and the hours are reasonable. I’m paid well, too.”

“It’s minimum wage, (Name).”

“Still…”

“I make enough to support the both of us.”

And it was true. He’d just opened the first branch of the Mostro franchise, an elegant, high-end eatery stuck right in the heart of the city. Money has never been an issue, not when he was so determined to see each of his dreams through to the very end. You were dragged along through the wild currents of those ambitions. Simple luxuries were no longer sleeping in on weekends or watching the sun rise and set in the garden. Now it was extreme excess and opulence, devouring you with designer brands.

“I’d rather not be home all day. It’s lonely.”

“Jade or Floyd can provide company should you need it.”

You stared at him, your mouth agape. “I don’t need babysitters. I’m an adult, Azul.”

“They wouldn’t babysit—” He sighed, shook his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re welcome to accompany me to the office instead.”

“But I like my job. I like talking to customers and taking orders and making drinks. If I quit, I wouldn’t have anything else.”

“That’s not true. You’d have me.”

“The regulars would miss me. So would my coworkers.”

“Darling… Angelfish, I don’t quite care for them and I don’t think they care for you either. At the end of the day, all of you are working a dead-end job, putting up with nonsense from rude, impatient customers who never bother to tip despite having full pockets. You’re not working.” Azul smiled, his blueberry eyes ripe with a strange sort of light. “You’re surviving, and that’s not a quality of life you should shackle yourself to.”

You pushed food around on your plate, unconvinced. “I just don’t feel right about lazing around and doing nothing. It’s not very fair if you’re the one doing everything while I just sit back and reap the benefits.”

“Why not? I hardly mind. Besides, I enjoy spoiling you. You deserve this and so much more.” He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. “If I could, I’d package the world in a little box and give it to you, my dear.”

“We had that once and you broke it.”

His body stiffened, eyes flicking to your mouth. He couldn’t meet your eyes. He’s never been able to—not since that day. Neither of you can figure out whether it was intentional or an accident, or maybe it was something more: an intentional accident.

“P-Pardon?”

“I had the world and you broke it.” You set your fork and knife on your plate, perfectly vertical in accordance with proper etiquette. “Back at the old house.”

“Darling, you know we couldn’t stay… We were due for a change of scenery.”

Furiously, you opened your mouth, tears springing forth, but no words came. Instead, you clamped your jaw and stood from your chair, turning away from the table in a hurry.

“(Name), sweetheart, please wait!” He stood as well, nearly stumbling over himself as he moved to intercept you. “My love, you know I never meant for that to happen. If I could, I’d go back and I’d fix everything so that we’d never have to experience such sorrow again.”

He reached for your hands, but you slapped them away and took a grand step back. “You knew we were at the top of the stairs. You knew, Azul. You knew it was wrong because you moved me away so no one could question it!”

His face contorted with offense, nose scrunching as if he had just smelled something foul. “I did not.”

“You did! You pushed me down those stairs and you watched me. Watched me cry and groan because it hurt and the baby was hurt. You watched and you waited because you knew.”

“I did not!” he said, louder this time, his face blue with rising frustration. “I was in shock, (Name). You can’t possibly expect me to jump into action when I was frozen stiff and horrified. And it was an accident. We’ve been over this before. I’ve apologized numerous times.”

“Sorry, but words aren’t gonna fix anything. See? I’ve said it and nothing’s changed. It’s not words that fix broken things, Azul. It’s action.”

You stomped out of the room in a huff, blinded with tears and rage. You weren’t sure if you were more frustrated with the circumstances or Azul himself, but it might have been the latter when he pursued, insistent like the worst kind of thorn. One that’s wedged itself so deep you couldn’t possibly pluck it free with your fingertips.

You’re not sure tweezers would work either, for the hold he has on you was and still is a nasty vise.

“I… (Name), love, darling, I’ll do better. I’m trying.”

Though he made these claims, he expressed them rather pathetically—his arms outstretched, palms up, as if to show you he was no longer a threat to your mental and physical well-being. His face was in poor shape; he was blue all over, flushed from the rush of emotions, his eyes much too small. He looked almost deranged in a desperate, animalistic way. As if someone was cutting him into meticulous slivers with a precision so painful it would leave him to bleed out for hours.

You inhaled a deep, shaky breath, freezing the red-hot anger for a moment. I have to be the bigger, better person. Fighting isn’t going to accomplish anything.

“Look, if you want to make a conscious effort to be better I’m all here for it. But you have to actually try, Azul.”

“I am—I… I will!”

“I’m serious.”

“As am I.”

“Then please let me do things for myself. Marriage is about fairness. It’s you and me. We have to work together. And if that’s you supporting us with your business and me working part-time for extra cash, then let it be that way. That’s togetherness, not forcing the twins to babysit me like I’m senile or convincing me to quit a job I enjoy doing. Money shouldn’t matter if we’re both making it and we both trust each other to be responsible about it. So, while I appreciate surprise purchases, I’d much rather we do things together like before. That’s more meaningful and priceless to me than materialistic ploys meant to win me over.”

He swallowed thickly. Blue bled into the rest of his scleras. You watched him gradually inflate with relief. “I… I understand. I’m sorry. Truly, I am…”

“Stop telling me that. Show me. Please. And mean it.” You held your hands out. Hesitating, he fidgeted on his feet before gingerly placing his palms in yours. They were ice-cold. “Every relationship has its faults. Ours is no different. I’m forgiving you for the past, but I’m not going to forget and I’m not giving you a free pass either. I want to trust you, Zul, and I want you to trust me.”

“I do…” he began, only to curb himself. “I… Well, you know I worry. I know you have good friends, but when you’re out so late… O-Or when you don’t text me back… I’m always worrying.”

“Don’t.” You smiled and squeezed his hands. “I can take care of myself.”

His face darkened at that, a slew of stormy emotions brewing behind blue eyes. “Still.”

“I don’t worry about you when you’re at work or flying out for business trips. I trust that you’ll be okay because you know what you’re doing.”

“That’s different… That’s—”

“I’m happy that you care so much, but I promise I’m always safe when I’m out. You know this.”

“Yes. But… Well…” He sighed and shook his head. “At the very least, please let one of the twins drive you to and from your destinations.”

You fixed your lips into a moue. “Azul.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, groaning softly. “Yes, I know how that sounds. I know.”

“I’m not asking you to change overnight. No one can. It takes time. Everything does. I understand that you worry, but I’ve proven to you more than once that I’m plenty capable on my own.”

“All right.” His eyes flicked open at that, and without warning he tugged you into his chest. The embrace was constrictive with an alarming tightness that seemed to mean: I can’t lose you, so I’ll never let go. He buried his face in your hair, clinging to you out of sheer need. “All right. From now on, let’s be together.”

You nodded, slow to reciprocate. “No more gloomy dinners?”

He shook with awkward laughter. “No more gloomy dinners.”

You thought you had it under control. You thought you could reel him in and sculpt him from the shards—take all of the hateful, broken parts he harbored and glue them whole. You thought it’d be safer to organize his medication with encouraging notes each morning in hopes that he wouldn’t neglect it. You thought you’d ease into discussions with a gentle approach, if only to avoid stoking the flames of something monstrous. If only to ensure neither of you would scream at each other until your voices were spent.

You thought you were making progress when he showed you all of the secret spaces in the penthouse, admitting to squirreling things away out of weakness, out of greed, out of some tangle of complicated feelings. The majority of his stash was comfort foods, each one more unhealthy than the last, accompanied with a tiny notebook he’d used to scribble calorie counts. The pages were brittle and stained when you flipped through them; he had been crying each time he documented the amounts. Pieces were beginning to fit themselves together. On days when he surpassed his recommended calorie intake, he hardly indulged in dinner, preferring to pick at his plate. Instead, he would feast on empty conversations with you and those would be enough to sustain him.

Throughout all of this, Azul kept his gaze firmly glued to the floor and tore at the skin near his nails. The tips of his ears were flushed blue with humiliation.

“I hate eating,” he muttered, tapping his foot in quick, anxious rhythms. “I hate it so much.”

“Azul,” you said, soft like linen, “do you really mean that?”

His eyes found yours, glossy and defeated. “I… I…” He shook his head, the truth spilling free like paint dripping from a slain canvas. His arms, trembling and twitching, rose to his face. “No, I don’t,” he wailed into his hands, the sound echoing in the hall. “I really, really don’t.”

You shut the diary. It’s because you love food so much that you hate it, you thought, pitying him and the self-deprecating notes he’d scribbled alongside columns of calculations. Because when you eat, you don’t want to stop. Because if you aren’t thinking about numbers, you enjoy it. It makes you happy. And you restrict yourself and this happiness because it hurts to have any more than the bare minimum. Because the bare minimum also hurts, but it feels better when you have less in your stomach so you can eat the rest in secret.

“Let’s start small,” you offered, placing your hand on his arm. He lowered it to reveal a snotty, teary face, blueberry eyes darting to and fro. “Let’s plan our meals together. If we know what we’re eating in advance, we can avoid falling into bad habits. And meal plans are a good way to budget.”

Wiping his nose with the back of his hand, he sniffled. “I’m…not opposed to the idea.”

You had it under control.

But then the knives would go missing, later turning up when it was most convenient. When he needed a clever way to get you to stay.

You had it under control.

But then you would forsake plans with friends and family in order to help him through another spiral.

You had it under control.

But then it felt like he was breaking himself into pieces nearly every day, at every hour, over the smallest of inconveniences. Working a minute too late. Eating dinner before he could get home to join you at the table. Going out on your own without supervision from Jade or Floyd.

You had it under control.

But then his shadow was stretching too far and too wide, swallowing you in a portrait of possession.

You had it under control.

But then that was at the cost of your sanity.

the third vow - till death do us part.

“Hypothetically speaking, if I were to die tomorrow, would you grieve me forever? Or would you simply get over it and remarry?”

By the sixth year, just a few hours ago, he’d asked you that.

You looked up at him from the notebook in your lap, where you’d been aimlessly scribbling in circles. The lines overlapped, ink blotting together in manic patterns. Originally, you were going to write a grocery list. But now all you had were jagged lines and not-quite-right geometry.

As if you had rehearsed it prior, you answered smoothly, albeit with an edge to your voice, “But you’re not going to die tomorrow.”

“I could.”

“You won’t.”

Azul slumped back against the sofa and pulled his knees into his chest. “Maybe not. I have a clean bill of health.”

Not mentally, you thought, morbidly wry.

“You shouldn’t sound so disappointed. It’s good to be healthy.”

“You won’t care for me as much if I’m healthy,” he mumbled, gazing out the window at the sparkling cityscape with those dull, dreary blueberry eyes of his. “I wish I was sick. Then I could take a week off from work and just…exist.”

You frowned at him from where you sat opposite in a comfortable chair. It was the only piece of furniture he took from the old house. For sentimental reasons, of course. Sometimes you thought it still smelled like home, even if the scent of home was so warped and far-off now.

“You’re the boss, aren’t you? If you need to rest, take some time off and recuperate.”

“I want to, but my schedule can’t afford any interruptions. Not now.”

“Don’t overwork yourself.”

“I’m not.”

The conversation flatlined, only to soon breathe again when he suddenly added, “We should go on a trip.”

“A trip?”

“New scenery would do us a world of good.”

“Oh. Um, okay. Where should we go?”

“Anywhere.”

“Anywhere is too broad. Plus, we’d have to plan it in advance. Make sure everything’s covered. Expenses and whatnot.”

Azul’s expression soured. “Ah. Right.” He hummed his contemplation, drumming his fingers along the sofa’s armrest. “We could go somewhere nearby. Hospital food sounds good.”

You speared him with a sharp, stern look. “Don’t joke about that.”

“I’m not!”

You set your notebook and pen on the coffee table, aware of his powdery hues tracking your every move. “Azul?”

“Mhm?”

Your heart wouldn’t stop pounding. Relentless, the sound skyrocketed into your eardrums and joined in chorus with rushing blood. But you had to tell him. You had to broach this subject. It had been gathering dust and cobwebs, aged by many tiresome years. You couldn’t do this anymore.

“Azul, I think—” You swallowed hard, your fingers curling up into tight fists. “I think we… I think we should get a divorce.”

His head snapped up from where it had previously rested on his knees. He stared at you for a long, silent time.

And then, sucking in a breath, he asked in a fragile, breathless whisper: “What?”

“Um… I… We…” Your chest heaved with your exhalation. “We’re not happy.”

“We are.” He blinked at you, owlish and unwilling to look past the gilded lie. Unable to stop playing pretend. “We’ve always been.”

“No… No, we haven’t. Azul, it’s—really, it’s so exhausting. I’m so tired.”

“Then let’s sleep.” He lowered his feet onto the floor, intending to stand.

“Mentally, Azul. I… Fuck, I’m so tired. I really can’t do this anymore.”

Color seeped from his eyes. His pupils widened and shrunk, and then a wobbly smile overtook his gaunt features. “Angelfish, that’s not a very pleasant joke…”

You could only offer him your most forlorn look, finally defeated after six years. Six years of pushing a stone up a hill, never to advance and never to succeed. This conversation was well overdue.

Azul rose to his feet, his apparent horror dawning. It molded his features into something wrong and fearsome. Something panicked and cornered. “Darling, you’re not serious about this, right? You… We’re just going through a bit of a rough patch, but we’re okay. I’m okay. Yesterday’s session went so well. I’m getting better. I… I’ve done all of this for you—for us! So we don’t need to do anything rash. We don’t need to get divorced. We just need to—”

“You’re not okay. Azul, I’ve tried so hard. I really have. I’ve done everything, but I just can’t keep exhausting the same tricks.” You heaved a dry, tearless sob. “I can’t keep doing this anymore. I want to go back to work, but I can’t because I never know if you’ll be okay on your own. I want to trust you, but I can’t. We’re not communicating. We’re just—we’re playing the same delusional game and it’s getting us nowhere. You and I both know we’re not working. We stopped working the day you pushed me down those stairs.”

He froze, his lip quivering. “Darling, please… Please don’t say that. You don’t mean that.”

“I want you to get better—genuinely get better—but I’m not the help you need.”

“That’s not true. You’re all I need—all I’ve ever needed. With you here, I’m whole. I’m happy. What was it you told me? That marriage is togetherness? That it’s you and me? So as long as we’re together—no matter what may come between us—we’ll always be happy. We have our disagreements, yes, but every relationship is like that. It’s normal, my dear. So please don’t say those things. I am better, and I’ll continue to be better until my final breath.”

“Azul, you’re not listening.” Now you were standing from your chair. “Togetherness is not this. This—” you gestured to yourself, to the way your clothes hung from your body, a size too large, before pointing at him— “isn’t healthy. We’re not healthy. Every day I’m with you is hell. I need a break as much as you do. We can’t keep doing this. Let’s save ourselves the insanity and misery, and let’s be sensible adults. A divorce is the only—”

“You’re wrong.”

The rest of your tirade stuck in your throat. “W-What?”

“Divorce is an expensive, lengthy process.” Azul stepped around the coffee table, his stare blank and haunted. Twin pools of the darkest ocean bored into your skull. “I can easily afford it, but it’s a price I’m not willing to pay.”

Despite what little confidence you had before, it’s all but diminished now. You shrunk away from him. “A-Azul, calm down. You… You’re scaring me.”

“Well, that’s nothing new now, is it?”

“Azul—”

“You want sensible adults? Very well. Let’s have an actual discussion instead of picking each other apart like this.” He peered down at you from where he stood, his head angled in such a way that his acknowledgement of you appeared contemptuous. “So sit back down in your chair and talk like a sensible, mature adult.”

Opening your mouth, you intended to respond. But the words wouldn’t come. They were lodged in your throat, coagulating with raw, rich fear.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

I can’t say anything, you thought, your body petrifying with every passing second. I’m scared…

“If you put just a little more thought into your brainless idea, you’ll find it’s quite…lacking. Divorce ruins our togetherness, splits us apart and condemns us to two different worlds. And if I’m no longer able to cross into your world—if you forbid it and leave my world—I’ll truly die. I refuse to let that happen. So, no, darling, we won’t be getting a divorce. I won’t agree to it.”

Perhaps it was the hopelessness in your heart that forced fresh tears from your ducts, or maybe it was the final straw in your weakening defenses, but the words came bursting out in a hurry.

“I don’t care anymore! I want you to die!”

You slapped your hands over your mouth. Azul stared at you, stupefied.

“I… I want to be rid of you,” you continued, your words muffled and distraught. “I’ve always thought… Always hoped you might just disappear one day and I’d finally know peace… Please, Azul. Let’s end this. I don’t want to be stuck in this cycle. I don’t even love you anymore. I’m just…done.”

“You don’t mean that…” He made a strange sound, a hybrid between a gasp and a laugh. “Y-You’re just saying that. You still love me. You don’t actually want me gone. You love me… R-Right? Please say you do. Please, angelfish. My love… Please…”

“You’re not well, Azul. I think… I think this is for the best.” You turned away from him. “I’m going to stay in a hotel tonight. Please take some time to calm down and then we’ll talk more in the morning. I… I’m sorry. I really do want you to get help, but I can’t be around you any longer than I already have. It’s draining. You’re draining.”

You took one step further and something inside him splintered.

His power was cut, a line between consciousness and reality severed.

You did not love him. You wanted a divorce. You did not love him. You wanted a divorce.

Did not love him. Divorce. Did not love him. Divorce.

Did not love did not love did not love did not love not love not love not love.

Divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce.

Not love not love not love.

All alone.

Alone like before.

Back to the disgusting creature he once was.

You were walking away, your back turned on him.

He was going to lose his world. It was slipping through his fingers, fleeting and frail.

He couldn’t lose his world, for it’s all he’s ever had.

Azul lunged, seizing your wrist and dragging you down.

Your scream was cut short when his hands clung to your throat.

From then on, everything was a blur.

Two blueberry eyes swallowed you whole, entrapping you in cerulean paradise.

the epilogue - there will never be two without you.

“They used to call me all manner of cruel things when I was a child,” Azul admits to the desolate quiet of his penthouse suite. “I was ridiculed every day. I couldn’t even recognize myself in the mirror. Isn’t that just terrible?” He leans against the sofa and exhales slowly, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “But then you told me I was pretty and suddenly the mirrors blinked back at me. Suddenly the world looked just a little wider and…brighter. So bright! The sea swallows so much color, my dear, and so you’ll never know just how vibrant the surface is to us merfolk.”

He deflates with a wet, wheezing laugh. “No one’s ever told me I was pretty. No one’s ever loved me. Not in the way that you did.” Sighing, he runs a hand down his face. Tears track his cheeks; his blueberry eyes exist in a field of splotchy red. “You were such an angel. To love a filthy, hideous thing like me… Only an angel could do that. Only an angel could look beyond every flaw of mine and love so gently.”

Azul lowers his arm and peers at the knife clutched tightly in his other hand. “I never deserved you. I’ve treated you so horribly. I—” He chokes on a rising sob and shakily lifts the blade to his wrist. It presses against his skin for a moment before he’s yanking it away.

“Fuck,” he spits, his voice trembling. “I… I can’t do it.”

You’re a coward, his inner critic berates. A cowardly, clumsy fool of an octopus.

Gritting his teeth, he steels himself and tries again. The blade digs deeper into his flesh, enough to draw the tiniest pinprick of blood. Pain flashes through his nerves, prey instincts firing off commands. He attempts to push past the curtain veiling his thoughts—Stop before you hurt yourself! Stop before you kill yourself!—but then he spies the blue rising to the surface, pooling under the blade, and he retreats immediately. Horrified, he discards the knife at once. It soars across the room in an imperfect arc before settling on the floor with a clatter, just inches from your body.

“Fuck,” he whispers, closing his hand around his wrist to halt the bleeding. “Fuck. Fuck!”

I really can’t bring myself to do it…

He throws his head back against the cushions, eyeing the ceiling. “I’ve done such an unforgivable thing to you and yet I… I can’t do it to myself. I just can’t.” He shuts his eyes, inhales deeply, and opens them again. “I so selfishly took your life, but I’m clinging to mine like a spineless loser.”

Azul lowers himself onto the floor, curling into a fetal position. He grips his wrist in a tighter hold. His glasses are somewhere in the room, likely cracked or worse. He can’t be bothered to seek them out.

“Did you ever believe in soulmates? Ah, what am I saying? Stupid… But I truly think we were soulmates. Perhaps not in this lifetime. But somewhere on a distant horizon…” He smiles dreamily, pressing his cheek against the cool floorboards. “I wonder if we’ll ever meet again. It’s a matter of luck and fate. Sea Witch below, I hate those odds.” Another noisy sob bubbles up in his throat. He shakes with the force of it, his throat raw and ruined. Another onslaught of tears pours from his eyes. “I was r-really happy that day you approached me. I was so happy… More… More happy than you’ll ever know. Thank you for looking at me and seeing me and opening your heart to me. I’m sorry I couldn’t cherish you more than this.”

He forces himself up onto his arms and then, as if just learning how to walk again, rises to his feet on wobbling legs to cross the slim distance to arrive at your body. Like a sinner on trial, he drops to his knees and gathers you in his arms as if you are his Madonna della Pietà.

“Without you, there is no world,” he murmurs, holding you close for a moment longer before lowering you to the floor. His tears dot your cheeks like somber rainfall. He reaches for the knife next, his mind made up. “Thank you for loving me. Sincerely. Truly. You’re the only one I’ll ever love. For that, I’m grateful. Because of you, I was able to know the taste of romance. And…” He hiccups through his bawling. “And it’s so very sweet.”

Blue blood spatters the floor, spilling from a messy gash in his abdomen. The knife is sharper than he thought.

Azul flops onto his stomach beside you, reaching out to run his fingers over your cheek. He inhales a weary breath and agony fills his lungs.

The world is dyed a brilliant, burdensome blue.

Azul Ashengrotto wakes in captivity. Bandaged, dressed in a plain gown, and cuffed to the bed, he is alive.

He moves his wrist, each of his senses filtering in at once. His other arm is turned over and pierced with an IV. Groggily, he lifts his gaze to the machines humming around him. Blue blood sits heavy in a bag, and he watches the liquid travel down, down, down through the tube. He blinks. His eyes are crusty. Has he been crying?

Assessing the handcuff once more, he turns up empty.

Why is he here?

Why does it hurt to move?

Why are there so many bandages around his stomach?

Most of all, where is his world?

What is this place?

It’s a hospital, yes, but why is he here? He has a clean bill of health.

Where is his world?

It’s when he starts actively struggling against the restraint, his breath coming in terrified huffs, that the nurses file in to tend to him. They check his vitals, run some harmless tests, ask him a few questions—it’s a lot all at once. He goes through the process as if stuck in sludge.

“My… My wife,” he croaks, unable to think of anything else. His heart tightens in his chest. “Where is she? What happened? Is she okay?”

Nervously, the nurses skirt around his questions until, eventually, he loses patience and tries to tear himself free from the bed that confines him.

“Where is she?!” he’s screaming, thrashing on the bed like he’s Frankenstein’s monster—a haunted reanimation shocked with electricity. “Answer me! Where is she?! She has to be here. Please… Please tell me she’s safe. I need to see her—need her here right now.”

They hurry out just as he curses at them.

“You can’t keep her away from me! She’s my wife—mine! If you lay a hand on her—”

A new face appears in the doorway; it’s a man dressed in striking attire. A police officer. Azul stares at him, his nostrils flaring wildly. For a short beat, they simply watch one another. Eventually, the officer nods towards a chair.

“May I?”

“What do you want?” He narrows his blueberry eyes, immediately suspicious.

“I’m here to have a chat with you. It’s about your wife. Is that okay?”

At the mention of you, Azul’s thoughts stall out. “Do you know where she is? Is… Is everything okay?”

The officer lowers into the chair and casually crosses one leg over the other. Casual in the friendly sense, Azul realizes. He really doesn’t like this man. Any longer here and he’ll start trying to build rapport.

“We’ll get there in a second. First, I’d like to introduce myself.” He goes through the motions; Azul is only half-listening, replying when it’s beneficial.

(Name). She’s safe, right? She must be. She has to be. Everything’s okay.

(Name). (Name). (Name). (Name). (Name). (Name). (Name).

Where are you? Do you realize how worried I am? Oh, this must be my fault. I did something foolish again.

I must have tried to hurt myself. Angelfish, please wait for me. I’ll be okay. You’re safe and so am I.

Safe. Yes. Right. Safe. Safe. Safe.

Safe… Right?

Right.

Right?

“Had your friends not called in, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

That brings Azul back to the world. He blinks at the officer, one eye at a time. “What?”

“You were on the verge of bleeding out.”

“Friends?” He’s slow on the uptake. “Jade and Floyd?”

The officer nods. Silence fills the space. Azul wonders when he’s going to open his mouth again.

“What about them?” he asks instead.

The officer frowns. “Do you not recall anything?”

Azul thinks long and hard about this. “I… I was having a discussion with my wife. It was something about a trip. No, not that. Um… Something…important. Something else, perhaps?” He shakes his head, unable to turn up anything useful. “I haven’t a clue. Why? Is something the matter? Where’s my wife?”

Silence is his only reply.

Somehow that tells him everything and nothing all at once.

Somehow he suspects it. His body knows. His fingers twitch with phantom spasms, curling inwards to cut off airflow. The puzzle is scrambled and the image is fuzzy, but he knows.

He knows because he’s already crying, and there’s only ever been one thing that can bring out the inner crybaby he despises so.

It’s always been you.

Azul Ashengrotto is the sole speck of blue in this white hospital room.

And he certainly feels it.

He’s right back where he began: alone and clumsy, an octopus out of water, viewing the cramped, compact, colorless world with his bewitching blueberry hues.

[soulessjourney]

You're Alive

Paring: Spawn!Astarion x fem!DurgeReader

Word count: 3.6k

Summary: As the urge begins to consume Tav, she finds herself reliving some of her most brutal killings, with Astarion forced into a struggle to keep her from succumbing completely.

Warnings: Violence, Language, Near character death, Talk of killing, Tav has to fight herself in a mental essance, Duel POV

Your life had finally found peace. No longer did you feel the urge to tear apart everyone you encountered. But why did today feel so different? Something gnawed at the back of your mind, begging for release. You bit down on your tongue, attempting to push back the sharp claws sinking into your consciousness, returning to reality after tasting the metallic tang of blood in your mouth. Blinking, you surveyed the camp, your vision blurred as your head throbbed. Your companions lay sound asleep in their tents, your lover peacefully slumbering beside you in your shared shelter. With a groan, you collapsed to the ground, darkness encroaching on your vision.

You flinched as someone nudged you, the touch lacking the gentleness of your usual companions rousing you after a blackout. Rolling onto your back, you locked eyes with another figure—yourself. A wicked smile stretched across her face as she peered down at you. "Wake up, little bird," she said, your own voice sending shivers down your spine as you struggled to dispel the image before you. Surely, it was a cruel dream, or perhaps a twisted jest concocted by Gale. The figure above you clicked her tongue and brushed your hair aside. "Come now, don't appear so bewildered. You know exactly who I am," she whispered.

Jerking away from her touch, you scrambled to your feet, putting distance between you and the apparition. "I don't know who you are, and whatever sick joke you think you're playing, stop it," you snapped. Deep down, however, you recognized the person standing before you—your past self, fighting to seize control of your body.

She chuckled, closing the gap between you with measured steps. "Well, little bird, I am you. I am the grin that spreads when blood stains your skin. I am the reverie you indulge in, envisioning the demise of every soul you encounter. My dear, I am the pulse quickening with anticipation at the thought of wrapping your hands around your lover's throat," she murmured, her final words a whispered caress against your ear.

You shook your head, her words leaving you stunned. The shock wasn't born of confusion; it was the recognition of truth. "I'm not like you. I'm not as evil as you are. I'm good, I'm improving, and I'm leaving you behind," you declared, your voice tinged with desperation. You realized you weren't trying to convince her; you were attempting to convince yourself that you had outgrown the bloodthirsty killer you once were.

She laughed, the sound echoing through the camp, yet miraculously failing to disturb the slumbering figures. "How do you define good and evil?" she challenged, her gaze raking over you as she circled. "You eliminate those who obstruct your path. Many would argue that's evil, even if you consider it good," she murmured, trailing a finger down your cheek. As you looked at her, you recognized the mirror image of yourself—the same nose, jawline, and attire. The only disparities were in her eyes, hard and lifeless compared to your soft, hopeful gaze. Her eye color, resembling pools of thick, dark blood, put Astarion's red orbs to shame. While your hair was a gentle brown, hers was jet black, streaked with blood-red strands. She was your antithesis, craving violence and pain while you exuded gentleness and love.

"I'm good because I don't slaughter innocents like you do. I don't yearn to feel blood on my skin—not like you. I'm nothing like you, and I never will be," you growled, your eyes hardening as you resisted the urge to recoil from her touch by biting the inside of your cheek.

"Ah, indeed, you're correct. You're the white swan—delicate and gentle—while I'm the despised black swan, vying for dominance and power," she remarked, running her fingers through your hair before gripping it tightly, pulling your head back with a force that threatened to snap your neck. "Why do you hide from me, little bird? Do you blame yourself?" she whispered, her blood-red eyes locking with yours.

Confusion twisted your expression as you looked up at her, feeling your heart race at her question. "What?" you whispered, focusing your gaze on hers.

She released your hair and grasped your face, running her thumbs across your cheeks in a manner that felt condescending. "Well, little bird, it's quite common in this situation to feel a kind of... guilt," she hummed. A twist formed in your stomach as she loomed over you, her gaze igniting a new type of fear within you.

Backing away, you felt sweat gathering in your palms as you listened intently. "What situation?" This was the aspect you struggled with the most—being unable to recall anything about your past, what you had done to others. The only reminders were fleeting flashes of memory when you stood over a lifeless body or closed your eyes.

Her smile dissolved into a mocking frown as she clicked her tongue. "The accident, silly." With that, it felt as though your body was hurtling backward, and your vision faded to black, the last image imprinting on your mind being her wide grin and the murderous delight gleaming in her eyes.

--- Astarion ---

Astarion stirred in the tent, waiting for you to join him. You had been engrossed in a book found during your exploration of the shadowlands. As time passed, a sense of unease began to simmer within him, a blend of worry and fear. Opening the tent flap, he peered out, scanning the camp for any sign of you. Just before retreating into the tent, he spotted you on the ground near the fire, your muscles spasming beneath your skin. Without knowing how he reached you, he found himself kneeling beside you, gently shaking you in an attempt to rouse you. "Tav, wake up," he whispered, nudging you again.

He was on the verge of calling for help when your eyes snapped open, your hand shooting up to grip his throat. Falling backward onto the ground, he gazed up at you, the grip tightening around his throat. Your eyes held no emotion, devoid of life. For a fleeting moment, he thought he saw flashes of blood-red eyes, uncertain if it was his imagination or if the person before him wasn't you. Watching as you reached for the knife strapped to your thigh—a gift he had given you after his confession while you lay nestled among the pillows—he sensed something was amiss. This wasn't you.

Placing his foot on your stomach, he pushed you away, sending you stumbling to the ground. The way you rolled across the ground almost made him mistake you for a ragdoll. Astarion quickly rose to his feet, his gaze fixed on you as you lunged toward him. Tackling you to the ground, he pinned you against the earth. "Tav, stop. This isn't you," he whispered, shivering as fear tingled through him. But there was no response from you; instead, you threw him off. From his position on the ground, he watched as you approached, knife in hand, your eyes vacant. "Come back to me, my love," he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

--- Tav ---

You found yourself disoriented, surrounded by pitch-black darkness. Moving forward, you navigated through what felt like a fog, your head throbbing painfully. Letting out a strangled scream, you clutched at your temples, bending over in an attempt to alleviate the shattering pain. Collapsing to the ground, your cries intensified as you scratched at your head, leaving marks on your face in a desperate bid to dispel the agony. As a cool hand touched your forehead, your body relaxed, tears welling in your eyes. "Astarion?" you whispered, looking up toward the figure. Your hope dissolved as you recognized it wasn't him. "What do you want?" you spat, narrowing your eyes into a glare.

Your reflection met your gaze with a wide smile. "Oh, don't pretend you're not glad to see me. Without me, you'd be lost here," she remarked, reaching out to grasp your hand gently. Jerking your hand away, you shook your head. "You're close to the city. It would be unfair if I didn't show you how you ended up like this and stripped of all your power," she hissed into your ear, appearing behind you.

The way she moved around you made you feel like prey. She slithered around you like a snake toying with its food, offering hope of escape before striking. "And what if I don't want to know? I already live with blood on my hands from taking the life of an innocent bard. I don't need the knowledge of more innocent lives I've claimed," you mumbled, keeping your gaze fixed on the ground.

"Because you'll have a run-in with our dear sister. Obviously, you don't know who she is, but she doesn't play games when it comes to pleasing our dear father," she spat, her gaze fixed into the distance. Whoever this sister was, you could only assume she had a hand in how you ended up in this situation. You flinched as she yanked you from the ground and spun you until you faced the opposite direction. Before you, the fog shifted and transformed into a scene. There you stood, facing someone you didn't recognize.

"When we were created, we pledged our loyalty to father without understanding. We killed in his name and worshipped him until a new family member emerged and ruined everything we had worked so hard to build. People feared us, and they still do. Our dear sister tries to establish her power in our likeness, but she lacks the control we once had," she hummed, pulling you into the scene.

Your surroundings morphed to match the environment. The scent of blood overwhelmed your senses, and you fought the urge to gag. "Why are you showing me this exactly? Why are you so desperate to make me remember?" you asked, surveying the unfamiliar surroundings. Though unsure of your location, the stone walls surrounding you resembled a temple. Your eyes caught sight of a large skull carved into the walls, and your body trembled with recognition, feeling power surging into you.

"It's vital that you remember. If I can't jog your memories, you'll be forced to face her, and she'll slaughter you in a matter of moments. As much as I enjoy tearing people limb from limb, it's rather difficult when your vessel is killed," she huffed, her gaze locking onto yours. "Now, why don't we relive some of our most cherished memories?" Grabbing your shoulders, you hissed as her nails dug into your skin.

---Astarion---

Astarion scrambled to kick you off him as you swung your arm, knife clutched tightly. "Tav, stop!" he yelled, his voice reverberating around the camp. Astarion had never felt fear like this before, especially when faced with your empty, lifeless gaze. Your movements resembled that of a puppet, leaving him bewildered. Had something affected you just before you left the shadowlands? What was happening to you?

You managed to land a hit on him, sending him flying across the camp. His eyes widened as he saw a sadistic smile spread across your face. "You're going to make such a pretty corpse," you said, your smile appearing unnaturally forced. As you stepped closer, your body was suddenly knocked to the side as someone tackled you to the ground, causing the knife to slip from your grip.

Astarion sucked in a breath as Karlach loomed over you, her eyes wild with rage. He could swear he saw pure fury behind her gaze—the kind that drove people to kill. It quickly shifted to a look of disappointment and concern. "What are you doing, soldier? This isn't you!" she yelled, shaking you by the shoulders. Astarion heard no verbal response, only the loud laughter that escaped you.

"Two pretty corpses. Father is truly going to enjoy this gift," you laughed, throwing your head back before your forehead collided with Karlach's. A violent crack echoed through the air, followed by the sight of blood dripping from the wound on your head where the skin had split. Astarion barely noticed the other companions rushing from their tents toward you. All he could focus on was how you fought each of your companions, a wild laughter reverberating through the camp.

---Tav---

You felt sick to your stomach watching the memories unfold before you. The deeds you had committed made you feel like the very monster you had always tried to escape. She watched your reaction closely, a crooked smile playing on her lips. Witnessing that dark part of yourself revel in the pain you had inflicted on others made you want to vomit. Seeing just what you were capable of reinforced your gratitude for the fresh start you had been given.

She placed her hands on your shoulders and leaned in close to whisper something in your ear. "If you think that's fascinating, you should see your most recent memory," she whispered, the smile evident in her voice as the scene before you shifted.

Your face twisted in confusion before morphing into sheer horror. Unsure if the scream you heard was your own or from one of your companions, you swung your weapon toward them. "Stop! What the hell is wrong with you!" you screamed, struggling in her grasp. You couldn't ignore the sight of Astarion clutching his side, the look of betrayal etched on his face. But behind his eyes gleamed a knowing glint—he understood that this wasn't you. She had deceived you, luring you into this state to attack and harm your family. Rage coursed through you as you clenched your fists, hands trembling.

"Do you smell the fear and betrayal radiating off of them? Look at them, trying to disarm you. They're scared of hurting you. It's pathetic, honestly. I expected more entertainment, considering they're so desperate to rid themselves of that tadpole. They love you so much when they should fear what you truly are. You're a weapon, a pawn of Bhaal, and you'll always bend to his will to please him," she hissed, tightening her grip on your shoulders.

Shaking your head, you squirmed against her hold, attempting to break free from her piercing grip. You could feel her nails digging into your arms, undoubtedly breaking the skin in the process. "That's where you're wrong. I've fought you off for this long; I can fight off Bhaal. I'll never bend to his will. I'll never become what he so desperately wants me to be," you growled, throwing your head back to connect with her nose.

With a howl, she stumbled back, wiping at her face as she narrowed her eyes at you. "Alright, little bird, you want to play? Let's play." You didn't waver in your stance as you turned to face her fully, determined to regain control over yourself and protect your family.

---Astarion---

Something within you shifted, that much he could discern. The way your body tensed, the ripple of muscles beneath your skin, the contortion of your face in agony— it was evident you were at war with yourself. He watched helplessly as your arm bent into an unnatural position. Astarion's every instinct urged him to intervene, to restrain you and assure you that everything would be alright, that the darkness inside you wouldn't prevail. But his resolve wavered when Gale struck you with thorn whip, causing him to freeze. Shooting to his feet, Astarion tackled Gale to the ground with a yell, pinning him down. "What in the nine hells were you thinking? You could hurt her!" Rage surged through him as he glared down at Gale.

Gale shoved Astarion off him, returning a glare. "In case you've forgotten, our dear companion is attempting to kill us. I regret any harm I may have caused her, but our lives take precedence at this moment," he retorted, his expression tense. "We don't know if she'll recover from this, Astarion. We need to protect ourselves."

Astarion snarled, shaking his head, his red orbs fixed on Gale. "If you touch her again, I'll drain you, dry wizard," he spat, moving away from him. His eyes widened as he dodged a silver flash of a blade. Grabbing your wrist, he twisted it until the knife fell to the ground. Embracing you tightly, he lowered both of you to the ground, holding you close. "Come on, Tav. Come back to me, sweetheart," he whispered as you struggled in his grasp.

His arms tightened around you as you thrashed, screams echoing throughout the camp. He could sense the others behind him, ready to intervene if necessary. Holding his breath, he felt a whimper escape your lips as you ceased moving. "I'm scared," you confessed, your voice trembling with vulnerability. This was the Tav he knew and cherished, the one he loved more than anything. Caressing your head, he planted a kiss on the back of it, pulling you closer.

As swiftly as you had calmed, you resumed thrashing in his arms, causing something to crack in his chest. Feeling the sweat on your skin seep through his shirt only added to his distress. If there was a moment in his life he never wanted to relive, it would be this one. Seeing you so broken and tormented tore him apart. You were enslaved by something beyond your control, and it shattered him to witness it. Pressing his forehead against the back of your head, he shut his eyes tightly, gently rubbing your arms. "You're alive. You're alive. You're alive," he repeated softly, hoping his words would bring you some comfort.

---Tav---

Fighting against yourself wasn't what you had envisioned. You weren't even certain if the entity before you was truly yourself. Your own face was no longer recognizable; instead, a grotesque creature stood in your place. The once innocent visage had twisted into something horrifying. Its features contorted into long, pointed teeth, its eyes resembling black pits, seemingly designed to instill fear in its prey before launching an attack. Four arms extended from its sides, while long spikes adorned its back, and a pointed tail swung wildly behind it. Fear spiked in your chest as you beheld the monstrosity before you. This was what you were, what you were capable of.

A loud wail echoed from the creature as it advanced toward you. The darkness within you was terrifying, even repulsive. Flames flickered to life in your hand as you narrowed your eyes. Perhaps this could be the moment you finally triumphed and escaped the cravings consuming you. Casting a fireball, the creature emitted a screech before swiping a hand at you, catching your side and sending you flying backward, blood seeping through your shirt. Emitting a small whimper, you tilted your head back and closed your eyes. The distant sensation of a caress enveloped you, accompanied by faint whispers in your ear.

"You're alive."

You recognized the voice instantly. The fear lacing his tone caused your heart to race. The silent promise behind his words spurred you to open your eyes just as the beast loomed above you, emitting another deafening shriek. Something cool touched your fingers as you unleashed a scream to match the volume of the creature above you. Raising your arms, you pierced its chest, blood splattering your face as you stood, driving the sword deeper. The creature collapsed to the ground, its form morphing back to resemble your own once again. Meeting your own eyes, you grimaced. "You'll never be rid of me. One day, as you lie beside your beloved, you'll feel me seize control of your body, and you'll be powerless to stop me from draining the life of the one you love," she coughed. Coldness enveloped your body as you gazed down at your own reflection. Before you could formulate a response, your vision began to blur, and your body crumpled to the ground.

---

Your eyes snapped open as you sucked air into your lungs, scrambling away from Astarion's grasp. Your hands ran over your torso, searching for any signs of the wounds you had suffered in the brawl with yourself. Wild with fear, your eyes scanned the surroundings, shivering from the sweat covering your body and the adrenaline coursing through you. Looking up, you froze as you felt the gaze of your companions upon you, their faces etched with worry, hands poised to defend themselves if needed. Your bottom lip wobbled as you took in their appearance. "I'm sorry," were the first words that slipped past your lips as you noticed the wounds they had gained from the earlier struggle. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you repeated, wrapping your arms around yourself and rocking back and forth.

You didn't hear their response, if there was one. Instead, you felt a pair of cool hands touch your arms, causing you to flinch slightly. As you relaxed against the touch, they pulled you toward a chest, holding you tightly against them. "Deep breaths, Tav. We know you didn't mean to. We know it wasn't you," Astarion mumbled. Your sobs echoed through the camp as you clung to him, only for them to intensify as you felt the arms of Shadowheart and a few other companions wrap around you, hugging you with the same intensity as Astarion.

You had lived. You had survived the grueling battle with yourself. You had won.

---Gale---

Gale had chosen to stay behind as he observed the scene unfolding before him. The cut on his arm stung from the earlier attack he had endured from you. Something in the back of his mind screamed at him to flee, to put as much distance between you and himself as possible. He couldn't ignore the way you looked at him from Astarion's shoulder, your eyes shining a bright blood red and a twisted smile spreading across your lips. Gale pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing into a glare. You had never truly won.

[slowcatsworld]

Oliver Aiku has a droopy eyelid.

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This is just a headcanon, but it makes so much sense for me. I’ll attach a pic at the end, but he pulls that face one too many times so I’m calling it.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s always his left green eye too. Whenever he relaxes his face or is preoccupied with something, that eyelid of his gradually begins to lower into being half open. (Sometimes it makes me feel as though he got one identical eye from both parents, shape and color included.)

Oliver wasn’t aware of his droopy eye as it wasn’t entirely noticeable until his former junior high coach brought it to his attention.

“Now son, I don’t think it’s affecting your performance on the field. You’re still our best defender and have an innate talent for dropping advances from your opponents,” His coach started off, “I just think it might be best to let your parents know in case this will become something of a problem later on.”

Pfft, it’s not like he was infected with a disease. Oliver did ask his mother about it, and she claimed she had always known about his little droopy eye tendencies. However, it never caused harm so what was the reason to point it out? Oliver then brought it up to his friends the next time he saw them. They looked at his face and all shared a moment of silence.

“Oh, your eyes are opening at different heights. Adds to your aura I guess.” On of them said simply. And that was that.

You, his current fling (though he told you yall were serious, don’t believe this hoe of a man) a few years later, however, find his eyes captivating. Always one to compliment on their different colors, Oliver noticed how much you adored his droopy eye too.

It did lead to some cute moments though.

Like that one time he was watching a play back of his latest soccer game on his phone when you came waltzing through the door to his room. Oliver mumbled out a small, “hey, baby.” In acknowledgement. His eyes never left the screen. You sat down in front of him and took in his features, noting his eyes.

“Your eyes make it seem as though you’re tired, but the rest of your face looks as intense as ever.” You chuckle. Oliver snapped up to look at you, confusion doting his features. Ah, the eye, he assumed.

A slanted smirk that matched his scraggly beard made itself known before he spoke, “You make it seem as though you’re not my favorite thing to look at.” You roll your eyes before advancing upon his lap to give him a soft kiss.

Your favorite memory of his face though, and the primary reason why you like his eyes so much, is because it adds so much character to his face at the wrong time.

It was a semi-formal ceremony for Japan’s U-20 team before the start of the season. Oliver stood a little ways away from you, his personal invite, calmly surveying the team. Before you could make your way over to be by his side once more, a commotion broke out on the other side of the room.

Sendou voice could be heard along with the shriek of a lady. Squinting, you could see a young woman-probably some upstarting model-wearing a gorgeous grey dress with a splash of purple running from her chest to her lower abdomen. Sendou was cowering beside her, with one hand in his hair and the other holding an empty cup.

Oh. Just as the realization of what had occurred hit you, the damsel strutted through the exit with great fervor . Sendou stood frozen as though he was bit by a poisonous snake. You grimaced at the sight. You turn to your right, and a pair of blue and green eyes meet your gaze. You take a moment, then start chuckling. A chuckle turns into a laugh, and you have to hide your mouth behind your hands while Oliver makes his way over to you.

“Might I ask what’s so funny lil miss? Poor Sendou over there just ruined the mood, that chick’s dress, and his shot at getting laid tonight.” Oliver inquired with faux malice lining his voice, a playful grinning coming on.

“Your face.” You huff out. He blinks at you. Huh? He looks the same as when you first turned to him. A look of confusion and boyish charm is all that stands before you. Totally did not match the vibe, well at least before Sendou ruined it.

Seriously who wouldn’t find this cute face a little silly

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7.29.24

My unloyal hubby smh

[guardevoir]

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @indrid-hot - thanks a bunch!

Favorite Color: A nice, warm, sunny orange - but also honestly most other colors of the rainbow and then some.

Currently Reading: The Tevinter Nights Dragon Age short story collection.

Last Song: L'appuntamento - Ornella Vanoni

Last Movie: Ah, gosh. HM. I haven't watched anything that's not a TV show in a while. I semi-voluntarily caught the last fifteen minutes of Scrooged over the winter holidays I guess?

Last Series: Last series I watched any part of is, as always, "Emergency!" because I will never not be stuck in 70's paramedic hell. If we're talking new-to-me shows, a friend's making me watch Grey's Anatomy (early seasons) once a week, probably because observing my growing despair about the characters' poor life choices is fun. I don't even normally watch medical shows, and yet here we are lol

Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Savory if I had to pick

Craving: Some good spaghetti with olive oil and obscene amounts of lightly toasted garlic.

Tea/Coffee: Yes please, lol

Currently working on: OH BOY WHAT A QUESTION.

Spinning: Gotland on my spindles (4-ply, one single per spindle, for funsies - except I accidentally mixed up which bits of fiber go with which single on which spindle, so that'll be fun to sort out...), 7oz/200g of red Merino on the wheel (for a crochet hat, followed by 9.5 oz of red and black Merino for a woven scarf). But also 24.5oz/700g of grey Merino. And cotton on the supported spindle. And I've got some laceweight viscose on the mini turkish spindle that I should really work on...

Crocheting: Half a dozen things, including a lacy collar that needs buttons and blocking, a gigantic star-shaped wrap-around shawl, an incredibly boring granny square top for my little sister, and too many others to count.

Art: The Emergency! tarot as the eternal never-ending WIP; I also have some Dragon Age Veilguard related plans revolving around the Grand Necropolis and irl Catacomb Saints and I'd love to get some DA-style tarot cards done for all my player characters.

Writing: I still have a couple unfinished fanfics that need another chapter, as well as two deeply self-indulgent OC/Emergency! crossovers that friends are making me write, and I also have some Dragon Age stuff in the works - though if anyone will ever see that is another question entirely.

Music: Practicing various stuff for LARP; also slowly chipping away at Hozier's Work Song because my partner asked nicely.

With no pressure, I will tag: @geminyde, @caseyscraftycorner, @swords-n-spindles, @alpacazappa, @rosesonneptune, @rose-of-pollux, @zooarchaeologyatdinner, @kalikatze aaaaand I can't decide on a 9th person to tag so whoever wants to do this: You're It!

[thefoolishone666]

Kickin Chicken once said

@hiwelcometothemonstersancturary gave me the go to do this, which is mistake one for them, so here is my go at giving them what they encouraged while I pray it works well. And if not...well I at least tried.

* (Refering to Bobby) She is called Captain Heartbeat cause she will squeeze love out of your heart...and blood, but mostly love.

* (After speaking pr-bt for a 2 minutes) You ever forget your first language?

* Mods, take their swimming privileges away and put them in the pool.

* I would go evil, but I am going to follow dad's steps of being good...plus I saw they went shoe shopping so...

* What do you mean I can't seduce myself!?

* (Loud thud off Camera) PERCEPÇÃO DE PROFUNDIDADE!

* Our ship has a pool, an omelet bar, tons of rooms for you to sleep in, one would say that is a cruise, to which I say, fair, but have you seen the plank, cause I am about to get you real familiar with it.

* I heard some demons were touched starved. I got more than enough buckshot to help with that.

* Bubba, reading chat: "Kickin isn't the sharpest knife in the group," Well that is rude...

Kickin: I did eat packing peanuts when I was younger to be fair.

Everyone in room:

Kickin:...Wait is this new information for you?

Everyone: YES!?

* Wonder how many people come on to see me stream thinking "Oh hey, the voice actor for Kickin does streaming," or "Hey is this the official channel for the Smiling Critters show?" And they just come in on me saying something like, "I HAVE BUILT A TO SCALE JOLLY ROGER WITH POPSICLE STICKS!"

* Hey Theo, it's you! (Gets empty bottle thrown at head) Ow.

* White is the color of evil, cause nothing exists in it! Delight taught me that!

* I would cry, but I am too dehydrated to do such a thing. (Goes to drink some water, pauses, puts water bottle back down)

* It is always funny to see people react to my complete indifference to horrible stuff.

* I needed to find a way to get a gambling addiction, so I thought space could have the answer.

* (Seeing Bubba being affected by the blue screen) Bubba, I know you always wanted to become the one thing I love, but this is ridiculous!

* I am just saying revenge is amazing, ok? Yeah, you gain a tremendous amount of regret sometimes, but it is amazing.

* Cool motive bro, still murder!

* (In response to Angel giving them food) It hasn't been that long since I started streaming, it has only been...5 hours...

* This is my favorite bird. (Holds up middle finger before pointing to self) It is the chicken.

* (Wearing VR) The future is today!...I might need it adjusted though.

* Does dying take away time away from my vacation days?

* IT IS ALL A CONSPIRACY TO END ME! IF NO ONE EVER HEARS FROM ME AGAIN, IT IS CAUSE THEY KILLED ME, CHOPPED ME UP, AND FED ME TO THE WOLVES DANG IT!

* Fursuits are getting so good you can now subject yourself to your own form of trauma to fuse into it. Brought to you by Playtime.

* I have seen the internet and honestly, have seen worse. Which is saying alot.

* (Looks at Candy Cat in his lap before looking at camera)...Help. me.

* Theo: You finally did it! Did it help when you imagined it was me you were fighting?

Kickin: Not at all...worked when it was Dogday though.

Dogday: WHAT DID I DO?

Kickin: Hell if I know. As long as it works though.

* (Playing I Expect You to Die, dies trying to do an action pose)...(Starts singing the James Bond theme notes)

* (Reacting to "Unnecessary Feelings") Bubba, I was promised a crime drama, not a reminder that no one in this house knows how to feeling well, including us!

* I would boop you, but I don't want a pirate hook this early in my character development.

* William then preceded to commit several hours of joy, on at least an entire classroom of kids to learn why death does.

* You can have one hit Hoppy...Ah não, ela tem uma cadeira!

* Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I am just going to turn into a nuke to fall on you.

* (Stares at camera while winding music box)

* Chica, you wouldn't hurt your brother, would you? Or would you want me to be you and Foxy's kid, whichever makes you more merciful on me.

* I am here to break the stereotype that parrots can only be pirates and no other reasons at all.

* (Refering to how much money he has in game) $60!? I can finally afford 1 AAA video game! (Pulls up Balan Wonderworld steam page) I am going to buy this one guys!

* Kickin, coming into Crafty's stream: You mind if I borrow a picture.

Crafty: Uh sure...Why?

Kickin, taking one of the monsters: A reminder.

Crafty: A reminder of what?

Kickin: Of who in this family is an actual threat. (Leaves without elaboration)

* Don't make fun of me, I will cry will I beat you up.

* We don't even own a game cube, I just want to find a copy of Skies of Arcadia to display.

* When you get into a certain mindset for so long, it is so jarring to have to go into a different line of think, like you just suddenly ask, "Wait I don't have to ration this sandwich for the entire year?"

* WHY DID I LET THEO TALK ME INTO PLAYING THIS!?

* I am still surprised I recovered so well from all of that.

* What would the others do without me? Minus not having a heart attack everyday.

* I SURVIVED THAT FACTORY FOR OVER 10 YEARS, I WILL NOT LET A SLIDING PUZZLE DEFEAT ME!

* Have good night everyone! I don't remember how I end these...I will make you walk the plank! No, that is not it...