#agony aunt

[thegazettejournalmirror]

The GAZETTE JOURNAL MIRROR is officially opening an agony aunt column for the tumblr paper!

Our agony aunt column will be named "horrors human" in honour of our 'Human Beings' school mascot!!

Up to three questions will be anonymously answered in the paper. These can be absolutely anything about the school, subjects, personal problems + more! The sky is the limit, human beings! DON'T FORGET TO SIGN OFF WITH AN ANONYMOUS NICKNAME! (e.g. a worried person/shy girl/blushing student)

To enter a question, use our ask box - please do not use messages as this is reserved for story submissions.

Well, what are you waiting for? Bring forth the horrors, Greendalians!

[slocum-dodson]

Hello Friends,

It's your favorite Ron, Ron Dodson.

To distract myself from the horrors of the post apocalyptic hell that is London, England, I am opening my ask box so I can act as your Agony Aunt.

Ignore the fact that I am physically not an aunt.

I will answer and give advice to all questions that come my way. Like the following;

"Dear Ron,

My marriage has been in the dumps since I made out with my boss at the company Christmas Party. Now my wife won't talk to me. What do I do?

Sincerely,

jollyless in Southie."

Thank you and remember: England is a bad, bad place.

[ministerforpeas]

Problems!

[lovedetlost]

my bf is uncut and im freaking out bc i have never seen one like that let alone know what to do. Help!

okay yes UK boys are uncut which is not the predominant back home and it low-key was a shock.

the intel i’ve gathered so far is that when they’re erect they push past the little turtleneck and look very similar to cut penises. it’s when they’re just hanging out that they lack the … beauty of a cut penis.

in regards of that changing the way you approach a penis, i think you should be fine. but also, ask what he likes. test out some theories. is the gathered foreskin under the head more sensitive? give it extra attention and suction. listen and respond to his queues.

i feel like i need to add the caveat that i actually suck at blow jobs and sex in general i’m just very pro communication

(hi)

[99fandomproblems]

Hi Tumblr! Your fandom agony aunt Lilah is back!

The Ask box is open again!

Search previous Asks under the "answered asks" tag

Please allow a few days for new Asks to be answered

Reblogs welcome

Send in your fandom asks now!

[stayathomegirlfriends]

This week on Stay at Home Girlfriends - Episode 10: She NEEDS to DUMP HIM!

Your fav gay aunties Cam and Gabriella are BACK to assist one listener who NEEDS TO DUMP HER BOYFRIEND, another who needs her partner to chill with his texting habits, a third who needs help telling their therapist they have trouble telling him things, and don't forget about the girl who hates her best friend's fiancé!

Click here to watch on Youtube!

Click here to Listen on Spotify!

Click here to Listen on Apple!

[assortedseaglass]

Erm, give this a watch, yeah? You’ll feel fabulous after ♥️

[thelovelivesofteenagegirls]

Introduction!

Hi all,

I'm an 18 year old girl and I can promise you, i've been through it all. Heartbreak? Check. Blood stains on white jeans? Check. One night stands? Check. I have advice from what book you should read, how get that over that one ex you just cant seem to stop crying about, to how to set goals and stick to them.

A little bit about me: I'm from the UK, i'm studying Fashion Business and Retail in college and i'm very blunt. Like, say whatever comes to mind. Starting a blog has always been one of my dreams (ever since I read Girl Online by the one and only Zoella) and I decided to do it the old fashioned way, on my home, Tumblr.

I want to be every persons big sister with makeup recommendations, dealing with family issues and what to do when you feel like the world is just falling apart. (Basically the agony aunt section in a magazine but for Gen Z)

I'm open to questions, I want to tell my stories, I want to you to get to know me and I want to share the harsh reality of the world girls have to live in nowadays.

Kisses

[yourauntienatasha]

Hi auntie,

three years ago I dated this guy. we’re a year and a bit apart. i’m older. i’m also secretly trans. Every time we get drunk, we end up making out or at least cuddling- and we’ve both acknowledged that. I asked if he wanted to go to coffee, that way we could talk about this… mess? but he hasn’t responded. I’m not like, really romantically into him but i’m touch starved as fuck so i let it happen.

Also worth noting- we go to a conservative private school where rich assholes run the social world. They’d rip us apart if they heard.

Sincerely,

Awkward.

Hi Awkward,

Thank you for writing to me, I’ll do my best to help you out.

So, firstly, I think that if you aren’t really romantically into this guy, maybe you should think about finding another person to give you affection instead, as giving and receiving affections to and from someone who you don’t feel too strongly about is possibly not the best way to do things. Or perhaps another outlet altogether. As for his lack of response to your request, if you ever meet up again or even bump into each other by chance, you could ask him then. If you don’t or he says no, don’t worry. There are other ways you can receive affections and feel loved (which I am assuming is what you want).

Feeling touch starved sucks. It can leave you desperate to find affection from anywhere, even if it isn’t healthy (in my experiences). If there is someone that you like (at your school or otherwise), I would suggest perhaps trying to form a relationship with them, even just a friendly one, as you can still get affection from a friend (hugs etc) if that’s what you need. I understand that due to your school this may not be possible, but if you can, try and meet people outside of school, as not everyone who lives where you do is likely to share the same opinions. There are a number of ways you could do this, for example: you could ask your parents/guardians if you could attend classes (dance, art, cookery, sports; it could be anything) as this is a great way to meet new people. Or you could find a new hobby, or join a club at school which you deem to be more accepting. You could even start your own new club! That would be a great way to meet people and have friends who are interested in the same things as you, and who share the same opinions etc. This way, you’ll be sure to find friends in no time, who will be able to give you hugs and whatever else you need.

A note on your school: I think it would be best, if your parents/guardians are supportive, to come out as trans at home, that way you can live your true self in at least one major part of your life. If this isn’t possible, perhaps try to subtly appear as more your desired gender or even androgynous is that’s what you’d like. If it’s safe to do so, you could style your hair a different way, or wear more trousers/skirts/other clothes as desired. That way, you have at least one place where you can escape to to be your true self, as I understand that probably won’t be possible at school.

As for getting affection regularly, from what you’ve told me I could probably guess that your parents/guardians don’t give you affections (hugs, kisses etc) on a regular basis, and so you’re keen to find a safe space where you can feel loved and cared for. If you already have friends, try explaining to them your touch starved situation, and I’m sure that if they’re good people they’ll understand and help you in any way that you need. If not, again, if you don’t feel you can form a romantic relationship, see if you can find some different friends, some that do or don’t go to your school. It’s up to you. If their parents/guardians say it’s okay, you can go round to their houses or meet up at neutral spaces like a cafe in town. Perhaps here you can find a safe space to be yourself. Again, if they are true friends, they’ll understand when you explain your touch-starved situation, and they’ll do their best to give you what you need. If they don’t, keep trying. I understand that it can be difficult to make new friends, as I am a very introverted person myself, but what I like to do is just say hello to people. Like if you’re at a club at school or a class, just say hi to someone. Smile at them. Ask them their name and tell them yours. If you don’t want to do this, you could just jump straight in and ask their opinion on something. For example, if you like Doctor Who, you could ask their opinion on the show, and if they like it then that’s great, if they don’t you could ask them what their favourite show/movie is. Making friends doesn’t have to be all about big gestures; just start small and see where it gets you. Hopefully then you’ll be able to find your people, the people who love you and get you and can give you affections when you need them.

By the way, just to clarify, I’m not suggesting to find friends just so that they can give you affection. Friends will help you in other ways; they’ll make you feel loved and wanted and safe. In my experience, this is a wonderful feeling that really helps mental health in general. And I’m not just saying that! :)

Thank you again for writing to me, Awkward, and I really hope you find what you’re looking for and that my advice helps. If this hasn’t been helpful, feel free to tell me so and I can see what other advice I could give you. Don’t hesitate to contact me again if you need any more help.

All the best,

Auntie Nat :)

[callmeblake]

Kerrang # 1555 (X)

Magazine Release Date: February 11th, 2015

Issue Label: February 14th, 2015

Photo Credit for Frank: Justin Borucki, 2014

Here's a version of Frank's part you can READ: (link)

[slocum-dodson]

Dear Ron,

I find myself embroiled in a petty political controversy. Through no fault of my own I have been given a position of governmental power by merit of being one of three people educated in old world politics. I am surrounded by idiots and am being pressured to assume more power. I feel like the Roman figure Cincinnatus for which the city of Cincinnati was named. I just want to go back to my cabbages. But I am also in the position to rewrite our constitution to assume complete and total power. Perhaps then they will finally leave me alone.

What should I do?

-A Distressed Politician and Fellow England Hater

Dear Distressed,

This is a toughy. I won't pretend to understand the Rome of it all, but I do know politics. I think the only decision you can make to return to the simple life of a cabbage-engineer is to kill everyone in political power and fake your own death.

Then skip town. Perhaps to actual Cincinnati if it still exists.

I hope you find this helpful.

Sincerly,

Ron Dodson.

Here's a picture of me relaxing if that helps.

[xoxo-tumb1r-mom]

hey, ive decided to make ablog where you can anonymously send an ask about some problem you have and I'll answer it!! kind of like a agony aunt.

for example :

dear tumblr mum,

i need help getting friends.

love, friend needer

then I reply giving you advice!!

Ask away

[secretly-sapphic-confessions]

Welcome to Secretly Sapphic!

A space for those fem-aligned and yearning after a similarly fem-aligned individual!

A brief introduction…

Hey, I’m Sappho! (Alias only!) Self-proclaimed resident Sapphic agony aunt and Sappho enthusiast!

Has slender Aphrodite overcome you with a longing you need to get off your chest? Submit a…… Submission (^-^)/

Need advice for your arduous longing? Or perhaps just too curious about something? Or just…. Wlw/nblw related advice in general Submit me an ask!

Are you interested in Sapphic History, theories, fragments, and miscellaneous facts? As the woman who inspired the identity, I aim not only to help soothe the sapphics but also increase awareness of one of antiquity’s most influential women! If you aren’t a Sappho enthusiast already, you will be by the time I’m done with you ( ◠‿◠ )

Guidelines:

Especially MTF & transfem inclusive! Terfs and exclusionists DNI, this is a safe space

Aphobia will not be tolerated, this blog is aro and aspec inclusive

Men are allowed to interact coming from a place of respect and education, please refrain from anything outside of these reasons. Reminder this is first and foremost a women's space.

Posts on this blog will never be 18+ but answered asks may cover sensitive topics so viewer discretion is advised, i will not be able to appropriatley tag or warn

Due to the agony aunt nature of this blog, the author wishes to remain anonymous under the alias Sappho, please be respectful of this and asker's anonymity

Asks and submissions must be relevant to the nature of the blog

Note: Blog section on Sappho's history temporarily deleted + on hiatus whilst I complete my dissertation on her lmfao. I don't want to accidentally plagiarse myself from a Tumblr post i can't prove is mine

[summer-fruits-and-cream]

I found an advice column that's actually insightful???

[lovedetlost]

What do you think are the best poses to use when sending spicy pictures? The same guy I have been hooking up with (completely fwb, he’s actually moving in two months) asked if I would ever be into that and I said maybe but I’m now realizing I don’t know how to pose for pictures of any kind, not just this stuff but just normal pictures as well 😭

it’s all about finding your own angles baby. put on the lingerie that makes you feel sexy, move around, try everything. different angles and positions emphasise different … assets, so that’s important to keep in mind.

here, i’ll add some of my own to give you ideas

[da-millerrrrr]

(fantasy ask stuff!)

Greetings, adventurer, I have a problem that I need help solving, if you'd be so kind.

I am 99% sure my neighbor is a werewolf, but I do not know what to do about it. If I try to bring it up with my fellow villagers, it will turn into a man hunt, which I do not wish. However, if he is really a lycanthrope, it is not very safe to leave him without any precautions.

What should I do?

Keep an eye on him.

If he shows definitive signs of lycanthropy, talk him personally in a non-confrontational way. You don't want him to feel threatened. Mention how you want to help him, and DO NOT approach him armed with anything.