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narutakijune · 3 years ago

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About ATLA Relationship Arcs

So, this is me, finally trying to write some meta after lurking in my little tumblr corner for months! Hi!

Although I’ve tried to tag properly, if you are a Kat*anger and just want to enjoy your favourite couple in peace, this might not be the post for you. I am not trying to bash characters but I do have a lot of critical stuff to say about the writing.

Anyway, you have been warned and here is my story about my personal first Atla experience: I watched the show this year for the first time, and after the end of Book 1 I decided to look up spoilers, because after what happened to Yue, I wanted to make sure that Zuko and Iroh would be ok. So I knew what was going to happen: Kat*ang endgame and absolutely no Zutara at all. Still, by the end of Book 3, I was convinced that I had read wrong - that there would be an epilogue with a different ending or at least that Aang would only get together with Katara post-show- in that Korra series or something - because anything else wouldn’t make sense- right?

….

After I got over my shock and surprise, I went online and found out about that decade-long aggressive passionate ship war and how even the showrunners got involved.

And then I really worried that I might have missed a few points. Apparently ”Aang and Katara were the DNA of the show”, according to the creators themselves, and “Zutara could never have happened”.

Another popular anti-ZK argument I found was: Why do you always go on about Katara and Zuko? Just look at Zuko and Aang! They are the hero/ anti-hero and each other’s foils, their relationship is much more meaningful!”

So I tried to find out what it was that I apparently couldn’t see.

(Another disclaimer: I love analysing stories (like many Zutarians apparently) and this will get long and rambly. If you get bored to tears when people start talking about “narrative structure” you will probably not like this.)

Talking about narrative structure, I do believe that, in order to let your story, your characters and their relationships really shine, a good basic structure is important. There should be a recognizable development and individual parts of the story that build upon each other and lead to consequences and change, until there is a completed arc - because it is all about the journey that takes you to a satisfying ending, right? So that’s what I tried to do, with my personal Kat*ang vs. Zutara take, I tried to look at the structure and development of their relationship arcs.

The argument that threw me off track for a while is that compared to Aang and Zuko, Zuko and Katara’s relationship is not supposed to be that relevant for the plot. After all, Zuko is the foil, the anti-hero, the deuteragonist to Aang, who is the hero protagonist.

This is all true of course. But then why is it that in every finale, Zuko’s main opponent (and later ally) is not Aang but Katara? Why is it that their sun/moon, red/blue, fire/water dichotomy is so obviously highlighted?

I think one reason why Zuko and Katara are paired off so frequently in the story - as opposite elements, as opponents and as allies - is that they BOTH are Aang’s deuteragonists. While Zuko also acts as antagonist and Aang’s foil/mirror, Katara takes over the more traditional deuteragonist role of confidant / best friend/ narrator.

Protagonist Aang is what connects them, although they are on opposite sides: Both need Aang because he represents their hope to save their world. Very simply put, Katara protects him, so he can make the world a safer place again, and Zuko wants to capture him, so he can go home and be safe again. That rivalry between them is already established in the first episode, even before they meet each other: Katara, who hopes that the Avatar will return (as she tells everyone in the intro), and Zuko, who seems to be obsessed with finding him for more sinister reasons.

And just to make sure, I am not talking here about the characters’ feelings and emotions! This is just about the abstract roles they have been assigned within the narrative.

When regarding Zutara’s special connection to Aang and their rivalry with each other, it makes absolute sense to stress their “same but different”ness as well, visually and metaphorically: Red and blue, fire and water, sun and moon, arguably Painted Lady/Blue Spirit, and, when you put into account their story arc, also Oma and Shu.

With this basis, which puts them together and sets them apart simultaneously, their relationship already becomes very dynamic and interesting, even before you consider any romantic potential.

And here’s another thing, Zuko and Katara also have their own story arc within the main plot. Although they don’t have many scenes together before Zuko joins the Gaang, when they do meet there is always a new shift in their relationship and in quite a few cases their interactions are important for the main plot as well. If you just look at their “end fights” at each book’s finale, there is an obvious and consequential build-up, like any decent story arc should have:

Book 1 starts with Zuko as the powered-up enemy and Katara as the weak newbie waterbender. Both are battling over Aang. At the end of Book 1, they are finally established as equally powerful fighters but still fundamentally different (You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun!)

In CoD at the end of Book 2 happens the next step: they realize that they are not different at all! But Aang still doesn’t represent the same for them and they end up on opposing sides of the war again.

In the Book 3 finale, when Zuko has completed his own (anti-) hero's journey and Aang represents the same “hope” for both of them, they do not only join forces: Their “same but different”- traits make them such a uniquely suited match that they are even able to save each other’s lives during their fight with Azula (who in turn happens to be Katara and Zuko’s antagonist/mirror/foil).

And in addition to their own story arc they even get an individual recurring theme, which also appears in every book whenever their relationship status changes: The lost mothers, especially Katara’s mother.

In Book 1, Katara’s necklace (the symbol of Kiya) plays not only a major part in two of Zuko’s capture attempts, it is the reason for their very first one-one one encounter in the story.

Their first friendly connection in COD in Book 2 happens because they start talking about their mothers. And in Book 3, their final reconciliation (sealed with a very cathartic hug) happens after their life-changing trip which is, of course, all about Katara’s mother.

Again, I am not even trying to analyse their characters and motivations within the story - there are many metas that have already done that much better, more detailed and with screenshots. This is just dry structure and tropes and themes. But I think people recognize and connect with a well-structured arc, even subconsciously, which is one of the reasons that makes Zutara such a compelling couple. They complete and contrast each other, their relationship dynamic constantly changes, builds up, falls apart, reconnects. Such a setup is the perfect playground for a lot of creative takes on what-ifs and alternative scenarios and of course, shipping them romantically is extremely tempting - think of all the possibilities! It’s no wonder that the Zutara fandom is still so active decades after the end of the show. And it’s also no wonder that the Zutarians are known for “over-analysing everything”. You can only over-analyse if there is anything that gives you enough food to analyse to begin with. Which brings me to

KAT*ANG

I just go right to the top and take the quote from Br*yke themselves:

Kata*ng was in the DNA of the thing from the start…. [Zutara] was just dark and intriguing.

If you read this quote and then start watching the show, I would (grudgingly) agree that:

Aang and Katara understand and complement each other really well. Aang gives her the chance to have fun and go on adventures and in turn, Katara is his fiercest supporter from the very beginning, something that he really needs after he lost all his people AND has to find out that the world thinks the war is sort of his fault. In turn, the journey to the North Pole is as important to Katara as it is to Aang, because it is her dream to learn waterbending properly. That’s what she literally says when Sokka & Co try to banish Aang: (Sokka: Where do you think you’re going? Katara: To find a waterbender. Aang is taking me to the North Pole.) In that way, they are friends who give and take equally and are equally taken care of. They even have the last Airbender/ last Southern Waterbender status that connects them. The few times they have a fight, Aang does something in the end to redeem himself (perform some heroic feat) and Katara sees that she is right to believe in him.

Aang has this very sweet crush on her and it will be very sweet and wholesome when Katara will return his feelings at the end of their adventure after he has hit puberty. On the other side, there is also some heavy shipbaiting with Zuko: I save you from the pirates. The betrothal necklace. June and her excellent shipping taste. But in the end they are enemies, they barely know each other and, come on, it would be too dark and intriguing! There is no real threat against friends to lovers Kat*ang, the soft heart of the story. It’s very straightforward and there are a lot of simple “the hero saves the day” scenes for Aang but that��s fine! It’s not really my kind of ship but that’s not the point, it works for the story they want to tell.

End of Book 1.

In my - probably harsh- opinion, everything you really need to know about the Kat*ang relationship has been told by this point. If you want to be really mean, already by Book 1, episode 3.

That explains maybe why many (not all! but many) pro-KA arguments sound as if their shippers have not watched Book 2 and 3 at all. The Book 1 synopsis also perfectly sums up Bry*ke’s quote above. But then Book 2 and 3 are still there and I don’t know what happened but it seems as if they somehow decided that the Kat*ang story does not need any new and lasting input. Maybe because they were afraid that too much new development and change would stray too far away from their original Kat*ang vision. But there are still 2 more books and more adventures and Kat*ang somehow has to be kept apart until the finale.

So the tension in their potential romance is based largely on the question whether or not Katara will return Aang’s feelings. In general I don’t have a problem with that will-she-won’t she-technique. It works well in books where the love interest is not a POV or in shows/ movies where the love interest is not one of the main characters. But Katara is not only the female lead but also arguably the narrative voice of the whole story! As a result, this kind of writing makes Katara look as if she doesn’t have any agency in their relationship, which is not surprisingly a very popular anti-KA criticism.

Additionally, since her dream - learning waterbending - has been fulfilled by the end of Book 1, the relationship work becomes a bit one-sided. Of course Aang is the hero and his journey is the heart of the story. But in order to highlight their special connection it would have helped to give Katara another personal agenda, which Aang could have supported in some way. She is still the last Southern Waterbender and he the Last Airbender but this is not really explored in the Kat*ang relationship. And her other personal agenda, her mother, is already reserved for the Zutara arc.

Instead, in Book 2 and 3 the Kat*ang story is somehow all over the place. Of course there is new conflict and a few romantic scenes as well. But obstacles are either introduced too late or just dropped when not needed anymore, conflict is not resolved and their flirty, romantic moments never lead anywhere- and if they do, they lead to more conflict that is not resolved (yes, I am looking at you, EIP Kiss!).

Take for example Katara’s very sudden argument that they cannot be together now because there is a war going on. We hear her saying that for the first time in the very last episode (EIP) before the 4-part finale. That is too late to have any impact! That she has these kinds of thoughts was never even alluded to before. Not once.

Or the pattern Aang runs away/ is flaky - Katara is upset - Aang comes back and does his hero thing - Katara is relieved. In regards to their relationship arc, nothing changes here between Book 1 and the finale, only the stakes for Aang’s heroic performances get higher.

Or Katara being the one who is able to calm Aang down when he cannot control the Avatar state (which, in my personal opinion, is neither romantic nor healthy). This is also connected to the problem with the seventh Chakra, that Aang needs to let go of his attachment for her. I will be angry forever with how they wasted this for a possible relationship development! That Aang has to decide to either do his duty or save his forever girl (because let’s be fair, he did try to let go and only ran when he had the vision of Katara in danger) - that’s a fantastic setup!

But no, it doesn’t have any real consequences for Kat*ang at all. Instead there were only half-baked attempts – Aang does lie about his failed practice with Guru Pathik but the ultimate reason why his chakra is blocked is Azula, not his decision to run. Aang does try to let go of Katara for a little bit but then Azula shoots him. Nothing in Book 3 shows any change in his feelings that could have been a result of his instant let-it-go. If anything, he gets weirdly obsessive - which could have been used as a side effect of his blocked chakra but – again, no, nothing happens.

I suspect the whole thing was just introduced to create temporary drama for poor Aang, but it is never explained why Katara holds him back, what aspect of the attachment is blocking him or what would happen if he did let her go. Maybe they tried to make a statement about how love is more important than Avatar rules – which would have been fine but it’s also never properly explored. Instead, as soon as that plot point becomes inconvenient it’s simply dropped like a random rock™.

Compare all that to the Zutara arc, where both characters’ feelings about each other are always very much in the open, and where every interaction causes lasting effects in their relationship. Yes, it is unfair to compare that to Kat*ang, because up to the end of Book 3, Zuko and Katara almost never meet, while Aang and Katara spend almost every episode together – of course they cannot do meaningful things all the time. But on the other side, with Kat*ang, there would have been a great chance to show a subtle, gradual build-up instead.

It also doesn’t help that the Zutara arc seems hellbent on sabotaging every romantic moment Aang is allowed to enjoy:

There is Kat*angs first maybe-kiss in the dark before the background of the Oma and Shu legend. But it does not lead anywhere. Instead, Zuko and Katara almost reenact the legend itself in the Book 2 finale as two real enemies to almost-friends, including a glowy rocks-backdrop and the right costume colours, just so nobody misses the message.

In Footloose The Headband, Aang and Katara have a really sweet dance together, and everybody can see how they almost intuitively know each other's moves. This could be a great hint on how well they will fight together in the finale. But is it plot-relevant? No, because the final tag team is Katara and Zuko! While Aang gets paired off with random rock™.

Then there is Aang’s riding off to battle- kiss in DotBS, which Katara is not even allowed to enjoy, because keeping her feelings vague is apparently more important than character development at this point. It is the only romantic moment that gets mentioned again, but in a way that sinks the former cute and wholesome ship into the deep ocean, and the reason is - Aang is jealous of Zuko!

If all of this was only done for the sake of shipbaiting, then it really went out of control at some point.

In the end, the showrunners still had their reasons to choose Kat*ang, maybe because that corresponded more to their own vision, and there are still enough people out there who agree with them. Which is absolutely fine! In the end, what matters most is how you personally connect to the characters and nobody needs to defend their personal taste. But the typical anti-ZK claim, that all the Zutarians with their crazy analysis and rambling meta essays are reaching and delusional and that they desperately try to construct something that isn’t there, is not only a very lazy argument but simply not true.

And I’d claim that in spite of the canon choice, Zutara is technically the better written relationship. By far.

#zutara #antikataang #anti kataang #anti-kataang #atla critical #atla writing critical #long post #atla meta

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polar-stars · 4 years ago

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☕️ + megumi and hojo?

(Give me a ☕️ + a character/ship and I’ll ramble off whatever thoughts and opinion I have about it)

Oho, interesting! Thanks for the ask!

Megumi Tadokoro

Megumi is a character I love and adore. She has given me no choice in that matter, lol. I cannot possibly dislike a character who portrays such a huge amount of real, genuine kindness. Adding to that, she's incredibly easy to relate to (I know that I am not the only one who does).

In my opinion Megumi has had some of the very best moments in all of Shokugeki, especially in it's earlier parts. The Shokugeki against Shinomiya in Trainings Camp is still my favorite battle in the whole manga after all. Her performance in the Autumn Election Premlins was also really satisfying and sweet to see. (Monkfish Preperation Scene Supremacy)

Tsukuda really did great on making Megumi a character that I really want to see succeed.....But that is where the problem comes in.

The problem is that Tsukuda struggles with the Show, Don't Tell-Rule from Central Arc onwards.

Pre-Central, Megumi's character development was solid in my opinion. It was believable and not too fast-paced. But once focus was shifted to Azami-Drama, Megumi and other characters had to take a little step back from the action. And Megumi's character arc started to stagnate.

Through Training Arc. Autumn Elections and Stagiares, Megumi had visibly gained some more confidence in herself and her stage fright problem from the beginning of the series was ceasing. However there was something missing: pay-off. Her character arc lacks proper pay-off.

You see, throughout all of Central Arc Megumi has not won any single fight on-screen. She was given one victory against Shigemichi Kumai but not even second of that fight was actually shown to the reader. But when it's time for a more detailed fight against Momo, she looses.

In her fight against Momo, the judges do find the time to point out tho that Megumi might hasn't been able to beat Momo however there is quote unquote ✨potential✨.

Thing is that the "potential"-thing has been getting old at that point. It felt very reminiscent to Megumi's fight against Ryo back in the Autumn Elections. Ryo was able to win, however it was made clear through multiple dialogue-lines that Megumi did give him a good fight, defying the expectations the audience had from her. So basically that fight was like: Yes, she lost now. But she is on the right path. There is a lot of potential.

The issue is that time has progressed ever since the AE and it was about time for us, the readers, to see that potential unfold.

But we never got that.

We get a lot, a lot of talking about Megumi's potential throughout Central Arc but never an actual showcase of it. And it does not get much better with BLUE Arc either (I mean, what do you expect from that trainwreck of an arc anyway?)

First off, despite all of her potential and her participation in the Regiment de Cuisine & the retaking of Totsuki as a whole Megumi somehow ends up with the lowest seat in the Neo-Elite 10??? And I'm just: Why??? Why is she the only explicitly ranked below Eizan & Nene (who got a massive downgrade) with everyone else far ahead? (Tho the Neo-Elite 10 Ranking as a whole is one confusing mess and I should probably stop trying to bring sense into it if I do not want to go insane, lol.)

The infamous Hot Spring Fight against a Noir is where we finally see Megumi shine a little on-screen (at least in the manga). And well....I enjoyed seeing that but...

It is still not the proper pay-off she deserves, I'm sorry. Because ultimately that Noir-Guy is some random One-Off we never saw again. And that's a problem.

This character had no time establishing himself to us. We barely know him.

To put it into perspective: Satoshi Isshiki beating Julio Shiratsu in the RdC did not feel like a very impressive thing. Because we have only come to know Julio in that one fight and had absolutely no judgement on how powerful he may be (not to mention, that he was mostly placed in a very ridiculous light). It would have been a lot more impressive to the reader had Satoshi won his later fight against Eishi Tsukasa, because Eishi is a character who we have spent a lot more time with and who has repeatedly been portrayed as absurdly skillful and an actual threat.

See what I mean? As much as I loved seeing Megumi being an absolute badass in that Hot Spring Saga...It was not the satisfying pay-off I want for her.

The few victories she gets are always against random One-Offs while her fights against the more important characters are always a loss for her. Case in point: BLUE. She gets anOTHER off-screened match against some Noir in Chinese clothes, whose name I won't bother looking up if he even has one, where all characters talk about how talented she is but once it's time for her to go up against big bad bitch Asahi she looses. And that sucks.

Not to forget the fact that Megumi always gets strung along to every big event but we never get much justification for her participation (other than the obvious Meta-Reason that she's a main character).

Think about it, her and Takumi got extremely lucky in Train Arc by having Rindou giving them a free pass just for the lulz, while everyone else got expelled. Then a good number of messy chapters later, Megumi and Takumi get invited into BLUE without even a shred of reasoning behind it. Why them? How random is it to invite the 1st, 7th and 10th seat but no one else? Meanwhile when BLUE Arc was first mentioned in the manga they told Jouichiro that it's actually extremely rare for a student in that age to get into this tournament. And Jouichiro was a 3rd year back then, what are those three 2nd Years doing there??

The anime at least addressed that by having Totsuki's students fight for the participation (I appreciated that, if only the episode that covers it wasn't so lazily done)

I'd have much less of an issue with that if they actually gave Megumi something to work with in that arc. But really in RDC and even more so in BLUE, she's mostly just there I feel. She barely really impacts the story meaningfully in both of these arcs, I feel.

And it's one big shame.

As I said, I love Megumi and Tsukuda set her up as someone who I wanted to see succeed and defy expectations. Her journey up till Central Arc was a lot of fun and very compelling but then it just...came to a halt. And her arc never got any real, proper closure I feel. She was instead pushed more and more into the background and she just did not deserve that, man.

Never forget that she is one of the mains after all and she should have been treated as one.

damn I did not think this would get this long ahhdhdf

Miyoko Hojo

When realising that Miyoko's speciality is Chinese cooking, I was super excited for her! I really love Chinese food and I've been waiting for it to be covered in Shokugeki up till that point.

I like Miyoko quite a lot, she's definitely one of my faves from the...well, I don't think "secondary" cuts it...the tertiary cast. Unfortunately we've got to see so painfully little of her.

I like that Megumi, in the most Megumi-ways, made her learn a lesson like "Feminism =/= You can not possibly get along with a man. Ever.", but it was also interesting to see acknowledgement of the inequality of men and women within the culinary business through Miyoko.

Miyoko's friendship with Megumi is something I adore and I would have very much liked more of it please. I enjoy the thought of Miyoko, this tough, unapproachable woman, having her face soften whenever this pure, little angel approaches her. Also 100% sure Miyoko would drop-kick whoever gives Megumi a funny look.

I also would have liked to see Miyoko interact more with Kuga, because I imagine it could have been a lot of fun. From the one, tiny interaction they've had I feel that Terunori actually respects Miyoko quite a bit. Which I think is interesting, because Terunori otherwise seems to enjoy bitching at people.

Honestly? If you ask me??? Miyoko should have been in the Regiment de Cuisine.

I'll never get over how she's shown in the audience, alongside Nao, smiling when the rebels are about to snatch victory. Like ahdhFJG, excuse me Ma'am what business do you have just watching??? You can not tell me that from what we've seen about Miyoko that she would not be up to kick Azami's ass out of Totsuki. I generally think it's stupid for the Rebels to go up against the Elites in a number even to them.

Azami. Explicitly told you guys. That you can bring more than that.

You were up against the Elite 10 Council.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ANYONE YOU CAN GET!

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED MIYOKO

(and Nao as well tbh)

(The Regiment de Cusine could have been a lot better to buy for me if the Rebels had shown up with more participants tbh but that's a different subject)

Anyways, as I said I wish we could have seen a lot more of Miyoko. But it just wasn't meant ot be :( I mean, when characters like Alice and Akira get pushed to the side, what chances does the tertiary cast have?

I'm at least glad that she is sort-off shown being the new president of the Chinese RS in Les Dessert 1? I like that for her.

But yes, ultimately...another criminally underused character. I look forward to write her being a cool mom in my fanfic tho.

#well #that was rather lengthy hdhfhf #Rambly Asks #Shokugeki no Soma #Megumi Tadokoro #Miyoko Hojo

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years ago

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ani....morphs.....

ok so picking up after the david trilogy, which hit hard as FUCK, we have book 23, which basically was a semi truck that ran over my corpse, jesus christ, they really followed up the david trilogy w/all that....

23 was so so good and also painful. its the culmination of a lot of tobias’s characterization in the series thus far and also we finally get the reveal we’ve been waiting for about elfangor....ooooh man

and there was a lot of painful stuff in this book but the worst imo was tobias wondering if it were possible that somebody wanted him and would take care of him, only to have it all come crashing down in the worst way when it turned out aria was visser three in morph, ouch.

that was so brutal augh. and when he figured it out and just crash landed and kept thinking about how he wanted to die and how he was stupid to think he could have a home...bro get these kids some THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah that book was absolutely brutal but also so good...and it further fleshed out the animorphs working as a near-flawless team, w/the whole setup of tobias meeting w/the lawyer being so airtight and well-planned

also more free hork bajir!! its cool that there's stuff happening w/them offscreen, I like that

I literally had to take a break from reading the books bc the david triology + 23 was like so much, and also bc the olympics were on and all my time got dedicated to watching those, but then I opened 24, not sure what to expect, and BAM it was the helmacrons lmaoooo

I don't even remember the helmacrons but ig a lot of people hate them? lmao so that whole reputation preceded the book and I was like oh wow time for a change in tone

which wasn't wrong but also I liked that book?? I was never bored, even tho the whole thing was patently ridiculous and also had very little bearing on the overarching story

but I think it would be a standout if it were a TV episode w/a good budget - the visuals were amazing even in text, and I can imagine all the cool shrinking/growing/cellular stuff would be WICKED cool visually (ideally 2d animation but an ant man-esque live action adaptation wouldn't be terrible if they had the budget for it)

whatever let me dream. so yeah I didn't hate the helmacron book even tho the helmacrons themselves were...sure something. lmao I think they come back? that should be interesting

next book is the arctic one, we have yet another alien of the week style adventure - I liked this one too, it felt like more plot-y stuff happened since they destroyed the base, and marco’s POV is always fun

I do find it funny/interesting how sometimes when the animorphs do something - like in this book, destroying that base in the arctic - it doesn't really seem to impact the yeerks much/it doesn't get brought up much after that. and then other things like them destroying the ground-based kandrona get mentioned a lot (that example is understandable tho bc that WAS a big deal). its just hilarious to me how blowing up entire building complexes has become so routine that it isn’t even worth mentioning at this point

Also I adore when they meet other random people/kids and are chill w/them, like w/that kid they met in the rain forest earlier on w/the time travel

the descriptions of the brutally cold weather were great. I hate the cold so I was like oof this is a nightmare lmao

also ig that was the first ghostwritten book and I did kinda notice it was slightly different than usual? maybe? I could be imagining it tho

okay but book 26 tho...BOOK 26. bruh

that was SO good and I really didn’t know what to expect - but when we finally revisited Jake’s dream w/crayak I knew it was gonna be good (but I didn’t expect it to be a chess game war epic..!)

basically I loved it. SUCH a good Jake book - I really appreciate his character now as opposed to when I was 10 and often overlooked him (sorry jake).

similarly, when I was a kid and read these I sympathized a lot w/the chee and felt bad for them towards the end of the series when they had to get more involved in the war (genuinely don’t remember what they even do but ik I felt bad)

but now I've basically 180′d and I'm like damn those chee sure are hypocrites huh.

like they could solve So many of the animorphs problems but their stringent adherence to nonviolence leads to them actively getting in the animorphs way sometimes? and obviously pacifism is a complicated topic, but in this case it also intersect w/the whole ‘child soldier’ thing, and as beings who are insanely old and wise, the chee probably shouldn't just leave all the dirty work to a bunch of literal middle schoolers

aaaaanyways. there’s so much I love about this book. the iskoort! they were sure something. and the ‘plot twist’ that they are actually 2 beings, the Isk and the Yoort - and the Yoort are essentially Yeerks - that slapped. the symbiosis of it all!

I loved the part where they all realize what this means, that this is why Crayak wants the iskoort destoryed - because someday the yeerks might come across them and realize parasitism is not the only way. I love it!

alas I don’t recall the iskoort returning in the story (but also my memory is terrible so who knows?) but still that would be cool

basically I feel like this is the book where Jake Truly comes into his own as a leader, in every sense. he outmaneuvers Crayak, and even the ellimist, who’s yanking them around in his own way

the scene where jake shoves the howler off the cliff and jumps off and morphs and acquires the howler...that was fantastic and tense.

also the murder is definitely becoming more overt. I mean, it has been for a while, but it isn’t really pointed out as much anymore. oof

more on the chee - as Jake points out in this book, and other characters point out in other books - the chee could have saved the pemalites, but instead just stood by while their creators were slaughtered. on the other hand, jake says, what do the chee do AFTER they’ve killed the howlers - where to point them next? when is the end of their violence?

buuuuut also standing by while atrocities occur is pretty damning, as is frequently mentioned in this series - from the very beginning, when marco initially doesn’t want to get involved in the war at all, and the other animorphs basically tell him that turning his back on the war and acting like he doesn’t even know it’s happening would be immoral and cowardly (which imo this reaction helps to push marco in the direction he ends up going, but I digress) - this topic comes up again in 19 when cassie quits the team and rachel is upset bc she sees it as cassie elevating her own feelings above the greater good (as in, as long as cassie feels good about how she acts, it doesn’t matter how much preventable evil the yeerks are committing while she turns away). etc etc. but that’s essentially what’s happening w/the chee - even tho they help w/intel, the lack of any sort of Action on their part means that they’re essentially allowing awful things to happen when they could prevent them. this is rambly but basically...animorphs deals so much in grey areas, and the chee are noticeably black and white in their actions, despite falling, in a meta sense, in an extremely grey area. its such good, thought provoking writing!

anywayssss I keep talking about the chee lmao what else was there. oh YEAH jake and cassie kissed for the first time awww that was super cute

and ofc immediately marco teases them as asks jake if he’s gonna kiss him next, and all I can say is...marco is a bicon

also I love the background worldbuilding w/the iskoort, how they have all these groups and guilds and stuff - its not dwelled on much, which actually works really well to give the world/species a sense of lived-in realness

okay oh man and the reveal at the end that the howlers were just like...children who thought the whole thing was a game...AUGHH man that’s sooo fucked

like, when jake morphs the howler and has rachel ready to knock him down in grizzly morph if he gets out of control due to the howler’s murderous instincts, and he morphs to find that the howler is...playful, like a dolphin morph. SUCH a good fucked up sense of dawning horror there

and the fact that as far as I can tell the chee KNEW this, but wanted revenge anyways, so they let the animorphs assume that the howlers were Evil On Purpose

also I love smaller moments, like jake seeing that ax is ashamed for briefly running away during one battle w/the howlers, and then entrusts him w/an important task bc he knows that ax will see that as redemption - and when everyone thought jake was dead and were so happy when he wasn't (they all love each other so much im gonna cry about these child soldiers augh)

basically that book was so good

man one thing I absolutely love is that the longer the series goes on the more obvious it is that andalites, despite inventing morphing technology, barely use it themselves

like, most of the andalite characters we see barely morph. its kind of a last resort to them, as they’re already plenty dangerous in their regular forms

meanwhile for the animorphs, that’s all they have to fight with. that’s their only weapons against the yeerks, and its so fun to see them use the power in so many varied ways, and so creatively, while the andalites have barely scratched the surface of their own technology

its also interesting to contrast against the yeerks who start out w/absolutely no technology, and the andalites share some but not all of their technology w/them...its too bad that morphing technology was just starting out cause that would’ve been interesting

like imo a lot of the conflict w/the yeerks could’ve been avoided if they could just nothlit into better forms - of course, there’d still be plenty of yeerks who want to go start wars or w/e, just like pretty much any species in the series, but a lot of yeerks would probably be like ‘yeah I'm good’ and just chill out as nothlits

also people online love to talk about how humans are alienfuckers and would definitely have sex w/sentient aliens and whatnot, and while I'm not saying that's untrue, its just funny bc in animorphs the truest alienfuckers are definitely the andalites

as of the hork-bajir chronicles, we now have a second instance of an andalite morphing another species to be in an inter-species alien romance (and eventually have kids)

speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked abt the hork bajir chronicles yet??? even tho I read it a while ago lmao

HBC was great...I honestly haven’t really run into an animorphs book I’ve actually disliked at this point, I’m sure it’ll come w/all the ghostwriting and whatnot, but I’ve liked at least some aspects of every book

anyways HBC was great, and it’s funny bc I remember that I read this book as a kid, and yet rereading it now I didn’t remember a single bit of it lmaooo

I really liked the framing device of the free hork bajir telling this story to tobias. I also liked how we know from the beginning that this story wont have a happy ending - we know all the hork bajir end up enslaved by the yeerks, but it’s still somehow hopeful at the end? I think this is largely due to the framing device tbh.

also I love toby, and I love that the First free hork bajir named their kid after tobias ;_;

and oooh mannn I LOVED the different POVs from this book. all the characters were so interesting! aldrea was fascinating - I really like the increasingly negative view of the andalites that the readers are getting, all while maintaining the sense that they aren’t like, actively evil, just that they have their issues - like aldrea’s arrogance, and the general andalite arrogance which lead to the loss of the hork bajir. also, who knew andalites had their own brand of sexism? Ls

I did like getting a female andalite tho, that was cool. and dak was really cool, he was such a good, compassionate character who was able to maintain his morals in an interesting way throughout the story

and VISSER THREE...or should I say esplin 9466, because he’s not visser 3 yet...getting his ‘origin story’ was excellent - I really like how we’re learning about visser 3 backwards - we start off the series w/him as the main villain, and he’s campy and menacing, and then we see him in the andalite chronicles as a power-hungry sub-visser trying to climb the ranks and eventually getting alloran as a host, and then back even further here, w/the start of his focus on the andalites and the beginning of his ambition. its been very cool and interesting to see

plus, the beginning of the yeerks as we know them! seerow! alloran! it’s a party and nobody is having a good time, except for some of the yeerks.

I like how it’s pretty obvious that the andalites are well-meaning with their interactions w/the yeerks, but go about it the wrong way - they give them enough technology that the yeerks realize there’s a whole world out there to experience, and then they blockade the yeerks on their planet and tell them they can’t leave. nnnnot the best approach imo

again, as I said above, I’m interested in how things could’ve gone if the andalites had given the yeerks morphing technology early on - could a lot of the conflict have been avoided, or would it have been worse? the yeerks seem pretty evil in this book, immediately jumping to enslave anyone they can. otoh we hear from esplin that not all yeerks like having host bodies, and find it overwhelming, preferring to swim around in the yeerk pool as a slug - I assume as host bodies became more available this type of thinking was probably stamped out in yeerk society or w/e, but there are a lot of interesting what-ifs in the situation

I loved the scene where esplin first experiences having a host, and immediately knows he can’t go back. there are a bunch of great sensory descriptions, and it’s a nice scene to pinpoint as a foundational moment for the visser three in the current story, who spent a lot of time and energy getting what he sees as the best possible host body, an andalite

I find it interesting how much visser three clearly respects the andalites, even while constantly deriding them. and you can see the origins of that here as he immediately focuses in on the andalites, working to become an expert on them in order to make himself useful enough to move thru the ranks

another thing I like is how esplin seems a lot more crafty and ambitious than the visser three from modern times - I would guess that reaching his goal (andalite host body) and being given all that power was detrimental, playing on his weaknesses instead of his strengths. basically, I don’t think it’s ooc or anything, I can see how HBC-esplin became animorphs-esplin, especially w/TAC in between

as for seerow...poor dude. you really do have to feel for him, because you get the sense he really did just want to be kind to the yeerks, but it was borne from a place of pity, and he (and the other andalites) consistently held too much power over the yeerks for the species relations to ever be truly equal and functional

AUGH I have so many thoughts about alien space politics. omg. I need to talk about the actual story lmao

so yeah I also feel for aldrea, she had a rough time, watching her entire family die and being thrown into a hopeless war

and then the andalite council or w/e not listening to her bc she's a girl AND seerow’s daughter...oof

also, I really really liked the running theme of the andalites - specifically aldrea - looking down on the hork bajir as ‘simple’ and constantly underestimating them, especially dak

and I like how this is portrayed as a bad attitude for aldrea to have, and she still remains and interesting and sympathetic character even while having obvious flaws. it’s about being 3-dimensional baby!

and oh man I love that dak realizes that aldrea looks down on him, and his entire species, but he can see that that’s how the andalites are, and it all connects back to the beginning of the story w/the yeerks, bc the andalites looked down on the yeerks and treated them with pity and kept them pinned under their proverbial thumb ‘for their own good’ and look how that turned out

but dak is wise and kind enough to not hate aldrea for this, even acknowledging when she’s using him, but not pushing her away because he recognizes good in her too - and she ends up changing, partially because of his faith in her

and I feel like it can all be compared to that scenario of like - a hypothetical creature that lives in a 2D world suddenly being thrust into a 3D world, and comprehending what its seeing, and understanding that there’s so much more out there outside of the flat lines of its world - and then its dropped back into 2D-land with the knowledge of all the stuff its missing out on, and no way to get back to it or explain it to anybody else

I loooove that ‘trope’ or w/e you wanna call it, and it’s done beautifully here w/the yeerks - whos the say they wouldn't have been fine in their pool swimming around; as esplin said, a lot of the yeerks were terrified of having a host, it was only from the andalites’ perspective that their lives were sad and pitiful, and the andalites showed them what the world could be like, and then said ‘no, you can’t travel the stars like we do, you have to stay here on your planet and do what we say.’

and then again, w/the hork bajir - dak talks about how, even though he drinks up the knowledge that aldrea gives him, in the end it might have been better to just have lived peacefully, not knowing what was in the sky or the Deep - as aldrea says: “It was too late for Dak: he knew that the stars were not flowers.”

plus the hork bajir having to go from a completely peaceful species who don’t even understand the concept of violence, to a bunch of soldiers fighting a war...oof

basically everyone in this story uses the hork bajir. the yeerks use them as hosts, the andalites use their planet as a convenient place to dump seerow and then take their sweet time coming to help, and the arn created them as means to stabilize the planet, but block them off from their society and refuse to help when the yeerks come

like, the arn modifying themselves to be un-infestable by the yeerks and then being enslaved for physical labor instead? oof guys. if they had teamed up w/the hork bajir resistance things might have gone better, but probably not

more on aldrea - throughout the story I was always thinking ‘how am I supposed to see her? as a good person, or as a bad person?’

as a POV character, especially a ‘good guy’ andalite, you just start off automatically thinking of her as a good person, but as the story goes on, she starts getting lost in revenge and begins using dak and the hork bajir, and you’re left wondering if this is a story about her slide into darkness, and then towards the end of the story her character development culminates in her making the decision to stay w/the hork bajir, and the be with dak, and that’s about when I went ‘ohhh right this is animorphs so every character is pretty much gonna be grey’

I feel like that moral grey-ness was on full display w/aldrea, and I really enjoyed that. I love so much when characters who are good do bad things, for good or bad reasons, especially in media like animorphs that’s aimed at kids. it’s so compelling.

oof, and the ending when aldrea convinces dak to mobilize the hork bajir and teach them violence...and dak asks her if she’s ever killed another andalite, and she’s horrified, and says of course she hasn’t, and he says that that’s what she’s asking him, and all the hork bajir, to do - to kill their own people, even if they are being controlled by the yeerks. biiiig oof. I love that dak can keep up w/aldrea and her andalite supremacy attitude - it seems that the non-andalite characters who get along best w/the andalites are the ones who wont take their bs

what else happened....oh my god how could I forget about alloran, and his quantum virus. oooof. I like how we find out about alloran in parallel to visser three, in the same backwards way - in animorphs he’s the tragic host of visser three, in TAC he’s the disgraced but still semi-respected war-prince who becomes the first ever andalite controller, and here he’s the guy who decides to commit some war crimes because, hey, we haven’t tried that yet

but yeah that was fucked up, I love it. I’ve said it before I think but I like that alloran isn’t some perfect martyr tragically taken by the yeerks - it’s a lot more compelling that he’s a very flawed person who was taken as a controller partially due to his own bloodthirstiness.

but yeah, the part where aldrea morphs alloran and ‘sneaks’ into that room was great. aldrea’s dedication to disposing of the virus is a great indicator of her character development - it really feels like the straw that broke the camels back w/re: to the andalites not being what she thought they were, w/their tardiness coming to help the hork bajir planet and the way her father was treated being the precursors to this realization. it all culminates nicely in aldrea saying ‘fuck this actually’ and nothlit-ing into a hork bajir.

and it’s really tragic but realistic that even though aldrea and dak end up seeing eye to eye at the end and getting together, the virus ends up being released anyways (and fails in its objective to stop the yeerks from using the hork bajir - the whole thing was p much a lose-lose situation oof), and aldrea and dak still die fighting a hopeless war

but then we have the free hork bajir on earth, including toby, who, like tobias, has andalite ancestry, but no DNA to show for it - I like that they have that connection as well as tobias being her namesake

so yeah I enjoyed that one and its many-layered themes

WOW this got long uuuuuhhh ok I think i’ll leave this one off here. at the time I’m actually finishing the writing and editing, I’m on book 35 lol so I have some backlogging to do. never fear, I have a lot to say....

#lj reads animorphs #animorphs

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throwingideasatthewall · 4 years ago

Text

Clone Wars: Season 2

Episode 1 Holocron Heist

We just had a heist

[One nonsense enough to knock me into nonsensical incoherent rambling...]

Two

Okay...

I’m prepared...

To do. nonsense...

Urgh

Okay..

[Title Screen]

[Woah!]

.... ..

Aight

Okay

A lesson learned, A lesson earned

Oh..

That snapped me out of it,

A lesson earned is a lesson earned

[you don’t need a person to tell you basic common sense you can figure out yourself]

....

Assumed authority is bullshit Don’t need to earn any- [Sorry, Still Recov- er- ing From Last ep- Isode]

Okay...

Any-way

Jedi on a planet . .

Some-how tr ap ped - Surrounded Clones - Right- - Why?

Like - if you needed parts-

Okay-

I’m in

-terested

Any way...

Wait cruisers?

Gun ships? R-escue

Oh wait-

That’s Good

Oh No,

It’s Plo..

Jokes About How He Got His Men Blown Up Just gonna put this over here

Been a while

Also Hey yeah what is he doing here?

Doesn’t he have Jedi things to do?

Get a new fleet?

I mean th- (Don’t Condone Child So- L diers!)

But every time it’s always Obi-Wan and Anakin because all the rest of them are too busy

So What-

Alright - Whelp - I don’t care —-

Whelp — Ex-plo — Is this just going to be an action piece? (Nothing wrong with that; just need a different mindset,)

From the applications of child soldiers - To Shoot-

-Why?

It’s- Nice-

-Droids

Plo-

General-

Ev-

Neat-

Good-

Whelp-

Grab ‘em to the medic And Go!

(Seriously Windu figured this out yesterday.)

Grunts

You’d think the Jedi would give the order?

Seriously, Good miss, Five Min- Got Some One- Killed

“ Asoka,”

First Asoka mention in the first five minutes

[maybe they got her character better.]

-Jungle

You sent- A child

That Logically can’t improvise ... Into a jungle

....

The

Fuck

Skywalker?

Con-tact Her - Dead - She’s very likely dead- - Anyway - Hope Anakin taught her those moves- - That’s a lot of emotion - In the movements; Again;

Monotonous, Stunted, Robo Tot -ic

That’s How Child-

Nope-

Tone’s Off

So, just to go over;

1. Tone ❌ 2. Dia- Log Ue- (?)

3. Move -ment ❌

I’m hop-

Extract-

Taught-

Okay-

Teach -ing s

Aight Mary Sue-

I’m sorry but the light is literally coming out!

Whelp-

Okay-

So it’s Ahsoka an adult yet?

Like that can be explained away as acco-untability

Otherwise, she should have a hard time with one Droid!

(No wait didn’t Obi-Wan just call her ‘young one ‘)?

Nope!

Movie, get over there in your shame corner

That- Was painful over- reacting

And Focus-

I Don’t - You couldn’t have forced it more if you tried -

The Force- d cha- nge i -n Perspective Not Apprec -iate D- . . . . Moving on

Whelp ...

Get In -

That’s a direct order- -

“Can’t-”

Nope!

That’s It-

Tone ❌

Dialogue; ❌,?

Move; ❌ Ment

Turn in your bad

writing card,

Movie

❌

(Not a series strike, Just A “Fuck You, Strike

On the Movie And, This Chara -cter

(We just had such a good-

Maybe; it gets better?

Skipped ahead; It doesn’t

Sigh-

*Puts on earmuffs

Meta-phorically

Aight Back To 19:06 (Original time stamp; Play

*Think

Friendly Fire-

Nvm

*Thing Ex-plodes

In- stantly

Whelp-

You called her before a council ??

Child -ren Can’t Think -

Okay

Movie

Children can’t think-

From ag-

“This is-”.

It should be

-But The writers - refuse to write her as child -

The Pro-

“I-

The Pro- Blem As the story seems to be placing the Jedi on a high pedestal

..... Their actions here as reasonable

..... But it’s not ... If Ahsoka was a child it would be a cruel use of power showing how used only to put the younger generation down before they’re old enough to understand it

And how they’ve given Anakin the illusion of power

-Boomer Bait

If she’s an adult; This would be a show of how she’s childified by her peers

As it stands;

The writers refuse to chose

Concerning, due to the fact that

Child-ify Ing An Adult ...... Is Wrong

And adult-ify ing a child is wrong ...

Un equivocally,

Tally Of How Many Times Ahsoka- Is Adult -ify Ied- ;

This is necessary

[Excuse for odd formatting The “Movie”, (Under the picture) Caused Tumblr To heck up my spacing)

Continuing on;

“Time away from the battle- field,”

Good, For A Child Solider - (And would’ve been a good show that any kind -ness from them is performative ...

“Guard duty,”

Tally Of How Many Times Ahsoka- Is Adult -ify Ied- 1

Cite; Child ren Don’t have that much emotion, Nor Pre- fer ence- -

“Longer now,”

Dick —- Kinda

It’s better for children not to be in battle —

So not a complete dick...

But not optimal...

“Sorry”

So he said by people who don’t wanna take accountability for their actions and just stop doing the thing and stop bringing the toxins into the world

Point; If you were sorry you would stop doing it, stop bringing it up, and do better... —- Trying to control the narrative isn’t nice (When the truth is objective)

Only the self may be both .....

Security -

“Knowledge,”

*Bag-age

“Hm,”

. .. .

...

Fisto

...

In-side

St-upid Forbid Den

Know-ledge

(It’s likely about plants Or Weapons)

Also;

Boomer Bait!

(That’s something they offer younger generations to follow their stupid outdated tradition)

It’s always worse...

(Also, this isn’t about Ahsoka trying to steal the Holocon thing is it?

Because her character is already -hateable- enough

And if she has enough initiative to steal the holocon

- She’s an adult

And should be allowed entrance anyway

“Jedi Council,”

So, lady was a Jedi?

Aight,

Keeping an eye on that ... Aight -

Went through one. drug trip

Already

.....

[Okay...

..Got a Drink of water —— Interrupt -ion

Wait I thought he was just a ball of fuck your plot

You’re telling me he actually works for Palpatine?

After threaten ing Palpatine?

This dude - fucking drug trip -

...Ser vices

I honestly thought he was a [fuck your shit] guy

Now he’s a de tec- tive

Noir ....

Movie that’s too many genres .....

You- need to slow down .

Your main Chara- Isn’t Even Esta- Blish -ed Prop er Ly

Nevermind the characterization

Note if it had been established he changes things every so often that would be neat

As it stands

This dude is a fecking roller coaster

Not any thing resembling good

[Giving your aud- ience a drug trip isn’t good writing]

It makes them dizzy!]

So...

Holocron

Like Palpatine is literally doing this just to fuck over Ahsoka?

Also, this is going to result in Ahsoka being unchild -like To take them out too?

I’ll get the - counter ready

[yes I have seen it literally every Mall cop/ security guard movie ever

The fun . seeing how your (Good) chara cters - interact with the scenario - That’s not happening here - If she was a child this would show how Anakin‘s orders react with the environment

If she’s an adult; We’re working through a checklist; About what we know about her;

Likes, dislikes, how they might come up in a situation...

The suspension... coming when they do

With Ahsoka...

What do we know about her?

Honestly?

We know she likes fighting (Already in enabler of toxic behavior -against other living beings)

We know literally nothing else about her

Except...

That she’s perfect...

Re-moving All Tension;

Deal

I’m surprise he just wasn’t like oh yeah sure,”

[Ditches with the money]

... ..

Oh they’re actually talking strategy

Usually it’s just ‘fuck em’ up And that’s all we ever hear

Er-

Whelp- Yodi’s dead

Alas, Poor Narc

[assuming he can actually sense disorder in the ranks]

Gen. Leader Ship. Tox

He should know he shouldn’t be doing that

Focusing on him self

And practic ing accountability .... Constantly micromanaging and checking in on your peers .. Isn’t going to make them more likely to be accountable..

It’s going to piss them off ...

Your (evident) distrust creating a toxic environment As you were refused to trust their char -acter

You can’t give me respect the guy that was just snooping (Through the whole uni-verse)

That’s the point...

A dis-turbance in the force

Yeah?

Intruders there will be

Okay, bullshit he can see that

Like; Peri-pheral Okay

(Still tox that you don’t expect your peers in a peripheral. to be able to hold accountability)

But this is galaxies away (Ac-tually. on Corousant)

But. He Should n’t Know That-

‘The Narcs pulling authority again, master,”

“Shh, this is what we train- I mean groom - you for!,”

“But You Said,”

(Con-tinuing Earl-ier,)

[Seriously I meant to bring it up earlier,

But are they really inhabiting Zero the hutt’s old hotel]

Like it could just be a Noir hotel

But the positioning and location seem familiar . . .

Tell me...

Who the frick is this? ?

“What you are doing back there?”

... ..

Aight...

Assis -tance

God Lord, He’s Try -ing

Main tenance

If I don’t idea (who this guy was )or what was going on then maybe that would make sense

As it stands, Nope,

Crash- es

What’s that?

....

What?

Seriously. all he did was put another thing into another thing?

???

...

Aww, he actually trusts Bane..

Thank you ...

Door..

Techno Service ... Droid

As in a “tech -nical service droid? (Rt (IT) Tech Guy?

Or a technical assistant (One made of tech)?

(Or one specializing in techno dance moves?)

Also is he supposed to get them in?

Is that thing?

They- didn’t really establish much-

Butler Droid...

Change?

Todo... “You are what I say you are,”

Roomba- kicker

Also, having a roommate is just straight up detective fiction...

Like buddy-cop detective but still detective

With noir, Which is supposed to be focused on independence Dis(trust) in society Which is admittedly (toxic)

Or seems to be

Those two themes...

Directly contra- dictory

[with Griev- ous they made it work, But he wasn’t this - ]

“Uh,”

You are not “The Doctor,” - [that work ed as manif- estation Of Greiv- Ous’s Toxic Be- Hav -ior- And Human Want For Com- Pan Ion- Ship - Or At Least- Vul- Ner- Aba- ili Ty- - This Guy - So far he’s a n(e)igh invulnerable Douche Bag - With No -thing Humane- - Not quite Ahsoka levels - Intend -ed To be an adult - Just- - Really needing to go ham - On the arrogance And inhumanity (He sold his soul for money- But makes it look so good- what he does- Gets a sick kinda enjoyment from it,”)

That’s how you have, to pull it off

As it stands; there’s no emotion with this character

Is the robot supposed to be like his morality pet?

But he’s a dick to him too

Really he gets nothing from me

How do even in the “I-don’t-feel-anything-I’m-so-edgy-and-cool look at me!’

Vibes

There’s nothing fun...

Yeah you can throw all the ...clichés you want in there

[But that doesn’t work if you don’t use them properly]

[I see the team up with a female bounty -hunter]

[Predictable “I work Alone...] The only thing those stories share

In minute]

But ‘once the effect of’ ‘wow that’s a lot of things. Has worn off

The story and character left heartless

“Non-of- your Bus- iness,”

Doesn’t have the cockiness to make it work

[this isn’t power- Ful-]

Down right ..cringe

As it tries to shove shove two genres.. . At least... That don’t Quite .work ...

Least not the way they’re trying to make them work

.....

..Today

It’s noir

The point is no one’s in a good mood.. ...

Aight,

Wasn’t that-

Also, shouldn’t he know-

Based on how open- She is- To un- veiling her mask..

- -

Robot

So sh- ouldn’t she ask the robot to leave the room?

(If it’s such a big deal to her?”)

He can just run their face through a face scan no?

Mid-rim

I thought he didn’t have a way in? [That’s a pretty pathetic way in.. .]

[Palpatine’s screwing with him]

[Giv -ing Him a hard time and satis -iating - The ab- omin- ations desire for blood🎵,

Two birds, one stone,

Also, Movie, That’s the wrong amount of planning for the wrong genre - We don’t care how the bank ro -bbers Art -thieves

Got There

This isn’t Heist - [Money Heist, Not Terr- Esc] Got It Wrong [Pre dict- The Plot-] Last Time. -

The Focus isn’t Character building- - it’s the ‘out of depth characters reaction to the scenario,’

And the wacky hijinks that ensue

Using their talents...

Contrast- ed against the environment (Mall cop example]

Which seems to be the best fit

Stealing the- Holocron- - WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE-

Well- At least they ack -now-ledged Planning really isn’t part of the subset,

Good (For them?)

Aight Impossible ...

What are the emotions?

[like they literally. just through in the “the only place...”

Why..?

So quick rehash (Sorry but I can feel the drug trip coming through,)

(Effects- Of Dealing- With (bad) excess character;

(Deserts Metal...)

[Refresh]

He has a map of the Jedi temple Chip (Oh so that’s what that- (Isn’t he still-)

[Changlin’]

Aight

Bog

[Refresh End]

[Voice acting?

[Mouth sync]

... .. Aight

In Tru-

Maybe take the teen- off guard duty

A thought

[but-seriously

No high Alert?

Only these two..?

Info- -Mation

Baggage

Seriously money would be a better option

Or just street cred

(Adult) humans, Aren’t that Liniar...

Any way...

East Tower ....

Well that’s better than some dusty old books - Holos

(Seriously at least that’s present baggage.)

Whelp

Nobody notices this bullshit!

On a supposedly secure a military base .... ...

Also in the Mid- day break fecking daylight! (With the hiest it made sense, That was a hostage political situation Meant to draw in a huge crowd;

How?

Cool Alright,

Hey isn’t she supposed to be standing still?

(Guard)

Doing patrols?

Like no emotion, Face Forward, Professiona -lism

Not Greeter

(Didn’t they literally call it guard duty?)

Like just say you’re sending her to library service...

Assis -tance

Again, Wrong Field...

They’d be talking to the library helper (Official) Con-

Bother

Not how a child reacts Tally Of How Many Times Ahsoka- Is Adult -ify Ied- 2/3

Cite; Asoka shows intentional over involvement instincts more befitting of an adult ....

Good

Fully understand able reaction (Kinda)

(Don’t yell at children)

Don’t over involve yourself in the future ....

(But if you’re an over- involv ed and (un-)childlike abomination (Getting shoved for this is likely going to happen)

Dude was actually nicer than an adult

Enabler

(Rule Of Excess Society; While excess verbalization is ex- pected, Getting in someone’s way (non-sport Ing-) (Or con -ferr ed-) U-pon

Is not, Attemp ting to move them away the customary five times is expected)

Aight,

So the librarian was right there as she harassed her client)

(Not saying; But you should get involved in tox that doesn’t involve you)

Just don’t think that would excuse Her from ire

“I can’t do anything right,”

Tally Of How Many Times Ahsoka- Is Adult -ify Ied- 3/4

Cite; Child -ren Aren’t aware of self Ahsoka would repeat a line blank -ly

“Likely ‘sorry’

Then back away

[Or the or dered rea ction-)

Aight

Whelp

Yes

Just at the librarian be the pro tag

(She’s Tox But.. . Less Tox.. ...

But Still..

[Make [Better] Pro-ta g Than Ahsoka ]

In.. ...

That’s a library computer..

You need a pass- word. - The robot-

How?

What?

Weak Point?

You know for Boomer bait They mis-construe How the library works a lot

[I know -Hav- Ing Dealt-]

Talk-ing in the library,

Is pretty off

Like there’s a reason people are encouraged to go into the hallway to take phone calls

Loud

These are the guys that value meditation

Dude. Would be shushed By Several irate Jedi ...

Told to take it outside ... ...

I-

[I feel bad For the Roomba]

[like dude, gaslights him and then takes his memory]

Like, Adults Out of it. ...

But ...Droids

[we don’t know much about the sentient ones Or how much senti ence]

But this whole scene...

Makes me feel dirty

Like; it’s played for humor

When; it should be played to how much a bastard this guy is

Screw- ing with anything-

Like That ...

Toxic ...

Sick..

How?

Aight..

What. .

Re- Cyc

Why? ... ..

Kenobi

Jump-ing coincidence

[i’m con -clusion]

Damn, the narc

[No one tell him anything]

[Might fake a heart attack]

Comm.

[How half assed is Yoda’s peripheral?]

Venti -lation

-That’s Smart-

Almost -Too -Smart-

👍

-Tower

High Alert

Place the Temple -

Wasn’t, already?

Left it undone

Way to go smart guy - Cool - But kinda pointless..

Aight- Never mind

I- Might’ve Been Wrong-

Al right

[Seriously, no one hears this?]

[In most heist movies they at least had the intelli- gence-

[No hate -villains can be stupid]

Do you some small well re-lativel unknown library

[or at least not the one at the place they were robbing]

Because everyone would recognize that the actions occurring match up to what he’s describing And the description Of their building.]

Aight

Neat-

Past

Whelp-

Aight-

Shred- (Un-acc Oun T-able)

K-Pop

Well that’s a name...

Whelp..

Cool.. ..

Bane ...

Whole.. temple

And I heard you very obviously plotting...

So... you’re getting kicked

Also he could be possibly looking up intruders plans.. ...

Like pretty one dimensional opinion of on ‘High Alert’, lady

[Especially for a librarian.]

Thank you

Whelp...

There went my expectations

Also, Every Jedi leaving the library didn’t notice that that shit?

Like, they didn’t have guard’s ready to apprehend him

...On the Other Side?

Okay...

You just moved her...

Do you know this could’ve been an episode with a lot of emotional depth Showing how terrifying adults that abuse children can be adults that swear to have their interest in heart And how overinvolvement Is harmful regardless of who it’s coming from (Neglect- of child- And - accoun tability) Working off the “blank line”, ‘I can’t do anything right,’ And the Jedi -Council’s treatment of her “Foreshadow -Ing,” (I use that word loosely)

Their down- fall

Instead we got this-

And he just abandons the computer-

Aight, Just contin -ued on - with -out his instruction

Despite see-ing how bad that went. Al-right

Okay-

Aight

Really?

Without instructions?

Calls friend

You were fine without him the last few seconds .....

“Give-”

Not gonna question that?

“Voice-”

She’s a changling..

“Now,”

Hidden

You’re in a vent?

Oh, Skywalker has immediate intuition ...

And a breech didn’t somehow sound off alarms

Yeah. . Good..thing you didn’t close up the thing ..

Whelp..

How?

Okay. .

Shame.. they didn’t get a hold of a force sensitive kid (I- don’t want it to happen)

Just-

.. .

.. Here

Hurry I can Hear.. . Bull- Shit .

You have rocket boots they have the force

You shouldn’t hear shit-

Sur-prisingly, No Ahsoka

Good

The lower the counter stays..

The better for humanity

[and my brain]

[Vent]

Seriously, you didn’t tell your partner? About the Jedi on High Alert?

Ser- Force-

How deep is that thing?

[Aight, Pat-

You’re telling me they still haven’t figured out the Holocron?

We only saw-

Shouldn’t one of you go one way and the other go the other?

To cover more ground?

They’re- Really putting a lot of faith-

In the Comms

Also shouldn’t there be more Jedi crawling over the place?

Seriously, it’s just these two?

[We know Plo isn’t doing anything important.]

[We saw him near the opening?]

And Kid Fisto..

Heck... Is everybody else doing?

A-ight

“Closer,”

Shouldn’t it be ..further

Archive.. [Library] Comms?

Got it-

Whelp..

Okay..

Not, putting up that door,

What are you smiling about?

There’s plenty of lasers

And you don’t even know where the thing you’re looking for is

(Inside the compartment)

....

Aight

Might- not have been a smile-

Look for the open vent

(Dude clum- Un- Acc ountable)

With Vents

Also look at all these assholes standing around doing nothing

Also, no one’s going to check up on the child

Like, Ahsoka surely got that message right?

Temple-

Deep in the temple-

Use-less

...

‘Cause you’re idiots who don’t check for open vents Or cover more ground?

Or...

[Get, anyone to help you, in this big ass vent,”

It’s not very hard to see why.. .

Ass -itance

Ahsoka’s, not gonna get blamed for this is she?

Won-

Yeah, the narcs pretty useless

Also, why can’t you have the dude just shut off those lasers like he did the rest?

Done

Oh, they address it

Good,

Yep,

How?

But...

Okay...

...

Okay

....

What’re you still doing ...

Okay,

What’re you doing?

[Is the Holocron seriously right there?]

That’s. lucky

Weirder and Wei-rder

Hey isn’t your personality over-written?

By the chip?

Aight

S-eriously?

Still Here?

On- alert-?

Coin- cidence? !

Augh

Is that’s seriously the alert?

Several minutes-

No wonder those guys were so late...

...

Sense De- Cep Tion

Po- S-ing As A Jedi.

Okay now Yoda’s just reading the death report

Jo-casta

What?

But that’s actually a good idea - If shits about to go down you might as well find the person who might hold them accountable instead of letting you get the shit beat out

Run-

Serious-ly shouldn’t she just shout out her name?

[Like I know - High Alert- But Ahsoka isn’t going to be much use against a Adult... Either way Might as well find her [and scare off the intruder-]

Also how come “innocence” doesn’t get the same notification

Did they forget his wristwatch?

[Like- seems important-]

Who are you?

Dang It?

You were supposed to report back!

Also no one heard any of this before

Also; are you going to tell me that AHSOKA, the child soldier, Is going to beat this guy When the fully trained elderly Jedi got her ass kicked?

Nah.. .

“You,”

Dead

Tally Of How Many Times Ahsoka- Is Adult -ify Ied- 4/5

-Un-orthodox show of initiative 1x

-Counter 1x

- Surviving this 1x

(4x)

Getting her on the run!

Tot; 7/8

-Surviv-ing;

- 1x - 1x

-1x

-1x -1x

-1x

-2x (I’m tired of counting them one by one-)

-2x

- 2x

Okay

Whelp

Aight

-Right

Shape

-Skill

-Ew

Whelp

Okay-

Where did your get your skills from?

Abomination?

Aw-

Todo-

-Yet

What-ever

Butler

Tech

Neither of which have anything to do with ironing doors open ....

.... There he goes

Sy-mpathesize- more with him than this douche bag even if his turn does make a little sense

Aight.

Whelp

Finally found that vent.. .

Right

No, he wasn’t

“Comms,”

Not Holo- Cron

.....

Completely un-realistically

Tally Of How Many Times Ahsoka- Is Adult -ify Ied- 28/29 And 1/2

(1/2 because referring to the action what respectively doesn’t count as a whole- sin- It does deserve note that you decided to repeat your bad writing-)

Jedi

She Says-

(Un Be Li Ev Able)

Holo -cron

Jedi To Open It ..

Okay,

Up- To-

Again, with the communication center-!

Dude, just wanted a Holo-cron

(Seriously that was very tortured logic, Think the writers; just wrote this scene Then realize but wait “why are they in the Holocron/ Comm Cent,?”

And that’s how Anakin/Obi-Wan Obsession with the com center began...

[sorry but there was no reason for them to be in the Com center!

That I’ve heard!]

Aight, What? What -ever

... ..

Wrong-

Yes

Com- Center-

Ser-iously even he doesn’t know what’s up

You heard me

And my stupid plan

To send you to the Coms center to justify Obi-wan’s obsession-

Craw- ling

And we have no reason to-o

Why?

Now!

Yelling- doesn’t mistake the clear lack of reason

What- ever-

Right

That’s one way to do it

Really

Also, how does -that not-

That was less than one minute

Also, but no one else will hear that but these two . .

And they’ll still progress to the comm center ...

“It came from the com center,!”

How!?

You, guys,

Comms, Archives,

Aight, Nice

Com-munication center-

Ha- ha- ha- (I’m sorry but that has come back around to kinda funny,”

[something Happens across the galaxy]

Obi-won; It was the com’s center

—-

Aight, right,

...

O-kay

...

How??

Where?

Okay ...

Cloak Ing?

What?

[you can’t defy the rules of logic that much (Physics) You need to explain where he went otherwise it’s a loony tune Of sus- pen sion-

Okay?

What??

I thought- the thing-

....

O-kay

right

Take it,

Which ,One

That-

Right

What- Ever-

Aight-

He knews

What- Ever

Don’t call your eggs

Move

Restraint

Whelp

Use-less

Just There

Whelp

Nope-

Okay-

He Try

[Hey guys,]

Off That’s some assumed authority over familiarity..

Aight..

Okay,

They’re really letting him get away with the story

Tries-

What?!

-When-

Bomb-

Both-

[Also Mace Windu is still the only semi-efficient Jedi...

Asshole !

(Can’t make the text bigger enough to display my outrage!)

[they played that off as humor!]

That was a scream of death!

Of Murder!

[if that was a sentient- And my God it seemed damn close! Dude was just murdered

The surprise- “ I didn’t see it coming, h onestly not his fault kind!”

One that would call for immediate robotic vengeance!

* im-mediate ac-countability

If sentient,

What the Hell?!

That-

Horror - fy- Ing-

Oof

“Was it sentient? Crud, I might lose my least toxic credentials

( )

Whelp

How?

No Way-

A-ight

Shit

-shit

- she did nothing

I-

Call Sec-

Whose that?

Whelp

Okay..

That Who

Dys- functional family road trip - War

No shit

Oh wait at the comment table was by all the other Jedi

So...

the whole time Obi-wan was just complaining he didn’t want to do the job

Skywalker agreeing with him...

And... wanting to ditch their post

In chara,

Just, a little bit funny when you think about it

Right,

You bought them all the way here?

...

Also look isn’t the unchild-like abomination adorable when she’s talking about punishing people more severely

Holo-cron

The heck is a holocron...

Wait-

What-

Why-

How-

Why is this being allowed to happen? -

...

Snitch

[like seriously how is it helping her case, whatsoever?

Plea Bar-gin

Aight,

Okay

That was just a completely random target on his list...

- -

The one accountable adult

Keeper Kydra Crystal-

- Holocrons

Data

You get out of here youngling

Force Sensitive Child ?

Are we really going to get into the powers eugenics? (Or power genetic superiority)

Also would it be a kin to basically every child or just any child destined for leader ship

(Like gen leader ship?)

Cause..

Also, yeah good idea keeping that around

And you named...

...

Young’lings

Future

Oy! You put that back where, it came from so help me

Future

vision

is cheating

In reality, if you did have that power, you should keep your mouth shut

And it completely negates the point of a choice based universe

(Takes all the risk out of it)

Making the story completely useless

(For the sake of tension I’m going to ignore that..)

Going on the assumption...

That’s the Jedi are just a bunch of narcs

Who like claiming they know the future

When in reality only the future knows the future...

Worn. Them

Oh so it’s just School roll call...

Contact

You must

Ya no dude’s already a headstart...

Ahsoka

Dude, he just override the punishment

Does he have the authority to do that?

[I don’t think so]

Cad bane

He probably isn’t

And you already know him From the previous episode

Good for Obi-won

Aight

Mace Windu don’t give a fuck

Kid Fisto disappeared

And. . Luminara(?)

Went to go get a snack.... ?

I don’t know

Yoda

Got Overruled

Aight, Okay

.....

This episode...

Makes me feel disgusting Watching The middle At least

It’s very clearly boomer bait...

The beginning...

Focus-ing on the importance of taking orders (With no sarcasm to my understanding,)

Progressing, Into,

Dah, de, dah, Generation ____ doesn’t understand books!

*We might if they got out of our way, let us do our thing, dis-covered and pract-iced excess, on our volition

*if we wanted to

Honestly convinced. I should’ve given them a strike right there

Out of

Malicious

Won’t (Out of restraint)

But a thought none- the-

less

Being a (toxic) Boomers Fantasy in which they, the all powerful all knowing adults must help poor Ig- nor -ant (Child)-

(I’m sorry this really disgusts me)

-with enough initiative To praise their Brilliance

(It’s re-ally di-sgusting)

This isn’t seen as an overreach Or con- Des-cion Of A Gen

And gives no in-dication it recognizes how creepy what it’s doing is

Apart from the lighting in the council room

*Which I’m now convinced is permanently broken

And continues with the assum-ption of a life-time Over the future

Breaking; the story pretty thoroughly

And announcing the return to mediocrity...

(Border -ing on attempt at lower standards)

(Also they playoff the death of a semi-sentient species For Humor?

He died screaming!

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bubonickitten · 5 years ago

Note

i'm so happy you got into tma!! i've always enjoyed seeing you write meta posts for dragon age, so seeing you write meta for tma is such a treat! thank you for your words! i hope you have a lovely day :)

Thanks!! it’s been awhile since I’ve written meta for anything, I forgot how much I liked it. Once I realized how emotionally invested I was getting in the characters, I should’ve known I’d end up having to make a dedicated TMA meta tag.

And not to be dramatic of anything, but TMA really is a masterpiece of horror imo. I like horror, but it’s always a minefield because so much of horror really does (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) employ some really awful racist, ableist, etc. tropes, or rely on sexual violence or hate violence as a narrative device without making any critical commentary on those subjects. So sometimes there’s a horror story that has a neat premise, but then it’s so saturated with unnecessary and harmful tropes that I just end up feeling alienated and frustrated.

Even a lot of supernatural horror falls back on Lovecraft, and a lot of people don’t realize how racist and xenophobic his works really are. admittedly, there are some cool, more recent transformative works that reappropriate Lovecraft into something new (e.g. some stuff in the New Weird genre), but sometimes people just grab the aesthetic without knowing its roots. And I get it, it’s a cool aesthetic, I love monsters and tentacles and things that slumber in the deep and the dark -- it just ends up being bad when people aren’t conscious of what Lovecraft was actually saying. which, I know, is how tropes work sometimes -- creators reuse tropes because they’re so salient in fiction, but sometimes the roots are really horrible and we just don’t know the history, and horror is a genre that is really susceptible to that.

Getting off topic -- what I mean is, I really think Jonny Sims is a brilliant writer and this is one of my favorite horror stories I’ve come across. He’s a master at character development and foreshadowing. I’m on my third time listening through and there’s just so much detail that I didn’t notice on my first listen, so many thematic elements and parallels and keywords that he snuck in from the very first few episodes that become so important later. It starts out as having a horror anthology vibe, with really brilliant short stories embedded in a larger framework, but then you realize that every single one of those stories is connected to the larger metaplot.

I joke about Jonathan Archivist Sims and his conspiracy corkboard thinking, but I’m really sitting here listening with my own conspiracy corkboard during each episode -- sometimes reading too far into things, sometimes not, but damn is it enjoyable to try to pick apart the web (so to speak).

I think it’s incredible how well Jonny Sims manages to pull all those strings together. It’s partly because he had the whole plot mapped out before they even recorded episode one, but it’s impressive to me, because I always have trouble following through on a story -- I’m not good at being decisive or consistent with my writing, I’m always changing my mind and losing the threads of what I was originally trying to do, and honestly most of the time I don’t have an end in mind anyway, so I end up giving up on things too early.

One of the other things I appreciate is just... how compassionate Jonny is when writing his characters. One of my biggest complaints about Dragon Age was always that I felt like certain characters weren’t written with real compassion and weren’t given a chance to grow and so much of their potential was wasted. Jonny Sims, otoh, puts his characters in some dark, painful situations, which can be heartwrenching and anxiety-inducing to listen to (especially when it’s characters I relate to), but he also allows them to grow and change throughout the story, and that adds to their complexity. Even the characters I hate, I can still wrap my head around their motives. Without giving away too many spoilers for anyone who hasn’t listened and wants to eventually, the Big Bad is repulsive in every way but his motives are so realistic and emblematic of real world horrors like imperialism, Machiavellianism, totalitarianism, and a willingness to abuse, manipulate, groom, and oppress others for self-profit.

Jonny Sims manages to utilize common fears, horrors, and phobias to present some really clever and thoroughly unsettling short stories. Even the ones that explore a fear that I don’t personally have make my skin crawl -- he’s just that good at descriptive imagery and conveying psychological horror. And a lot of the episodes also have social commentary (which is a hallmark of good fantasy, sci-fi, and horror for me) -- sometimes it’s subtle, but then sometimes he comes out with these episodes that knock the wind out of you. Especially the most recent episodes. He comes right out of the gate sometimes with a treatise on war or institutional violence or xenophobia and it’s... well, it’s powerful.

And, god, I could write forever about how this story deals with the question of what it means to be human in the most horrific of circumstances -- what choices we make, what we are versus what we do, whether we grow or stagnate, the importance of human connection and trust and love even (and especially) when the world seems against you. The potential for character studies is... oof, I want to write an entire essay.

You know those books that are like, “The Philosophy of [Fiction Story]”? Oh, I am so tempted to write a full essay on the philosophical concepts presented in TMA. Especially existentialism, lmao. “What use is a philosophy minor?” people asked. Apparently the answer is, “Spend time during quarantine writing a treatise on existential philosophy in a horror-tragedy podcast I binged within a week and now can’t shut up about, because it’s been nine years since I had a philosophy class and I forgot how much I enjoyed pointlessly navel gazing about the nature of existence.”

I’ll shut up now. TL;DR if anyone wants to ramble at me about TMA, chances are I’ll be excited to respond. I’m having trouble focusing on creative writing right now, and I think my hype over this podcast might be helping me with writer’s block a little bit.

#tma #tma meta #Anonymous #long post

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wojtekbc · 6 years ago

Text

Watch, as local idiot rants about garbage

Oh boy, if I could type the most deflated, defeated sigh, it would go here. Spoiler warning here. Hey losers! It’s GRRM Boot-licking Book Purist here. My local friends have heard me bitch and moan about Game of Thrones since Season 5, and they are S I C K O F I T so now you, my brilliant Tumblr friends, get to hear me scream about incompetent show-writers taking a Vietnam opposing hippie’s anti-war story which basically screams the message “Hey being ruled by sexism and tradition and racism makes the world shittier for everyone aside from the dude sitting at the top and he’s made it impossible for even the powerful players in his system to peacefully change anything,” amping up the American fetishisation of eugenics, male primogeniture and the idea of a Righteous War Against The Others and making quintillions of dollars off of the brainlet audience who just overlook how gross it all is! (Before I begin with the two or twenty issues I have with this episode I will say that if ASOIAF interests you at all, seriously do yourself a favour, read the books with an understanding of who GRRM is, and exclusively watch Preston Jacobs’ analysis.) One: Why the fuck is Euron just a disgusting sex fiend in the show? Do the show-writers know how to write a compelling villain or will they just defend this as if it’s a ‘creative decision’ to make one of, possibly the most compelling, “bad guy” completely one-note and gross? Okay, bare with me, because the last re-read I did of ASOIAF was like, end of 2016, so I may not be able to describe this all too well, but book Euron is like, part mad Blackbeard, part world-weary mystic, and part eerily compelling politician. Half of the reason he’s so fucking creepy in the book is that when he attends the Kingsmoot, not only is he just kind of a weird bloke, but he uses what seems to be magic (with the horn that has ash idk I can’t remember everything rn I’m kind of drunkenly rambling) in a very low magic setting, and speaks directly to what the traditionalist Ironborn want, which is blood and plunder, and it completely de-rails their growing acceptance of a less toxic lifestyle. The show just decided to make him some gross Jack Sparrow impersonator whose only characteristics include being a completely stereotypical pirate, and wanting to have sex with Cercei, pestering her and pushing the subject even after a firm “No.” A common thread with everything in the show is that the show-writers take the “Kick the dog” route basically every time even a modicum of understanding would be necessary to see why you feel like some character might be bad. Anyone with a brain could read the Victarion and Asha chapters and just feel that Euron was bad. The characters have their own reasons to dislike him, and they’re good enough, but when you as the reader simply look at what he does, and think for a moment, you KNOW why you think he’s bad, and honestly that kind of shit makes you feel good, it makes you feel like you get what is being told to you. The show-writers just believe that about 80% of their audience is comprised of troglodytic idiots who wouldn’t understand any subtlety at all, so everyone you’re “supposed to dislike” is now a creepy psychotic abusive rapist. Who knows? Maybe they’re on to something. Maybe the main audience is as stupid as they think. Two: This is something I don’t even try to discuss with people any more, because the camps are apparently “People who disagree with this,” and “People who do not care,” but what the fuck is up with American media and eugenics and male primogeniture, specifically how often they are intertwined? I could go on about the show’s interpretation of what Jon Snow “means,” forever, and I will someday, but I will stick to what this specific episode did that fucked me off. META INTERJECTION HERE: I cannot even phrase the question. What kind of back-flipping through loopholes, logical gymnastics type shit does one have to pull to create the drama that Jon Snow is somehow a more legitimate heir? No, this isn’t me refuting R+L=J, because not only is it canon, but it’s something I’ve been screaming as truth for longer than Game of Thrones has been a relevant cultural topic. WHAT I MEAN, is, how, in the fuck, can you try and pass your real-life bias against woman off as in-universe, canon logic, when it is fundamentally against every rule and precedent you’ve set? So the show seems to think that because Jon is Rhaegar’s son, he’s immediately the true king and the rightful heir and the most purebred child and he’s the genetically superior race and all that American bullshit. Only, first off, that implies Targs still have a rightful claim (which they do but that’s personal preference,) but MORE DAMNING is that characters imply, in canon, that he somehow passes his aunt’s PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE claim, simply because he’s a man. Now this is wrong on about 50 levels but I’ll skip that and tackle the issue two ways. I) This drama is the kind of forced, fumbled shit that has plagued the show since season 5. No one is acting logically and it leads to stupid shit like this. Only this time, the drama is not even caused by characters acting illogically in their own world, the show-runners are writing their own real-world bias in to these characters in spite of everything, because... II) Even in canon, (though I don’t know if the show has acknowledged it because who gives a fuck about what the show thinks) Targaryen queens have a precedent in Rhaenyra. If any dumbass is still reading this and argues with me on that by saying there was a war and she lost, sure, but like, look to the show’s OWN CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS, where 4 kingdoms are lead by women who have male relatives. The only reason this drama exists is because the show-writers are fucking idiots and they just decided the easiest thing for them to write was dudes being sexist and jerking off to how pure-blooded their candidate is. Oh boy, I just wrote for like 40 minutes. Sorry folks, but the whole “show v book” thing is not even a meme for me in regards to ASOIAF. I saw a video a few days ago where some guy was talking about he won’t make videos on his favourite anime because he doesn’t want to undersell how much they mean to him; he doesn’t want to make a video trying to summarise his experience with a show, because if someone says “Oh, I get what he thinks now,” they still won’t understand how much it means to him. Though it’s pretentious, I feel that way about a few things, and ASOIAF is one of them. I won’t go on about it, but those books mean so much to me, and the way the show not only butchered them as an adaptation, but also in their cultural understanding among the people I associate with, genuinely makes me sad. It kind of breaks my heart that ASOIAF will go down in cultural history as “The books for Game of Thrones,” and not as what they are; some old hippie’s anti-war, anti-tradition, pro-feminist fantasy epic with so many moving parts that something may never be attempted on such a scale again. It ruins my day when I see what Benioff and Weiss have done to the series, and how they managed to turn a writer’s heartfelt letter to fantasy, his magnum opus, in to generic, edgy-for-the-sake-of-shock, often disgusting, popcorn shlock for a mass audience. It fucking kills me to be a fan of ASOIAF. It kills me to have something so dear to me associated with this filth.

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neven-ebrez · 7 years ago

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So a few random things: When you talked about how the potential and the possibilities hurt more for never knowing them, it reminded me of an episode in Doctor Who, which... I don't know if you watch that show or not so to be vague just in case, there was an episode that dealt with the power of possibilities. Not super relevant, but it reminded me of it. Also, I'm running out of room so I guess this'll be multiple messages. (Sorry, especially since I'm rambling.)

(2) Next, I know you said your intent isn’t to give hope, but honestly, so far it feels like a lot of meta is being confirmed. After the first episode there were all sorts of meta about how Dean was grieving Mary but Cas even more, and then how he was mirroring John who had a tough relationship with Sam after he learned Mary died protecting him, then negative space, etc.. And then we see Dean admitting his grief regarding Cas, and then this one had Sam telling Dean he was acting like John.

(3) Then, your meta had the Cosmic Entity telling Cas there was no chance, no hope of Dean loving him. But Cas persisted. He persisted his way out of the Empty by holding onto that tiny hope even knowing that possibility. You asked people whether they’re Sam or Dean in your tags, but what about being Cas then? Neither questioning the belief there’s a chance nor bitterly fearing there isn’t, but holding onto hope for the possibility even if there’s the chance it’d be subtext?

—-

I don’t watch Doctor Who. I tried to watch it, starting with the Ninth Doctor but it was just a little too weird for me. I like a certain structure, mystery and meaning to be behind the things I watch and I just couldn’t understand that show! It just kinda felt like a mess. Nothing against those who like it, of course!

As for the rest, I’m trying to be honest here in how people are approaching what I write (because I’ve experienced more backlash than most meta writers due to the nature of the exact meta I write). I’m writing meta towards my own view and in regards to my own hopes and expectations about the show (and its efforts, which may be intentional or not but if there’s a consistent PATTERN it’s more likely that its the former) and I’m definitely not to trying to convince anyone of anything, to try and make people have hope. I’ve been down this road before.

I’m not sure how long you been following me (sorry!) but I’ve been in the meta community for a long ass time. I’ve witness the golden age of meta, the fall of meta (the exodus of so many meta writers who had many diverse specialties) and the rebirth of it (among people I don’t really know). Now, what I specialize in writing, what I call “structural meta”, deals a lot with guessing what is going to happen by examining what narrative moves the show is doing and extrapolating what therefore, must happen eventually. Some is obvious (God had to show up once Amara’s entire drive was to confront him) and some is not. I’ll use this as an example: my meta on Supernatural’s structure through the years, written a day before the S13 premiere. Excerpt:

A reason to live.

This is what Castiel needs to be given once he comes back. Not just a reason to die, but a reason to not leave Dean. Dean telling him he’s “family”, that he’s their “brother”, that Dean simple “needs” him… none of this has worked, has been enough to get Cas to stay. The effective elimination of “guardian” saw Cas throwing himself into another guardianship role upon the rejection of the label by Dean. For a long time now, Supernatural structure has been crafted around the parameters which would make Dean happy, condemning all actions by characters that go against this and helping Dean eliminate the roadblocks to his own happiness. Mary and Cas made the wrong decisions to save Dean from pain and are thus punished by the narrative for such actions. It is here, in Dabb era, that the Winchesters are finally made to contemplate the actions of others towards their survival and they are made to suffer for it, Dean more than Sam.

This is the clarity of structural meta. This is exactly what Castiel faced in 13x04. If they were going to keep him on the show, it simply had to happen. But I didn’t know how or where it was going to happen because you can’t predict pacing. Cas has been going on mission after mission TO DIE to keep trying to make up for his debt he feels towards Dean for going on the past 6 seasons . He has kept trying to spare Dean pain (starting in 6x20), sacrificing his own kind in the blunder (and the guilt that came with that), over and over in new and more painful ways. All of the “Cas’ greatest failures” flashbacks with the Empty highlight this. This… “debt that can never be repaid” got so bad in S10 that I stopped shipping Destiel in show. S11 didn’t get better honestly (with Cas saying “yes” to Lucifer), but at least the show was showing Dean realizing all this, worrying over Cas, so I felt okay shipping it again because Dean was wanting things to be okay for Cas. And so through S12 we continued, with Cas still trying to clean up his mess with Lucifer, even if it killed him. Everything peaked in 12x19, with Cas spelling out how he felt he needed to bring Dean a win, and then Dean understanding this motivation (even explaining it to Sam who seemed oblivious) for all of Cas’ actions. Dean KNOWS Cas feels this insurmountable debt and, keeps trying to spare him doing things that could hurt him. Dean also knows this is what Cas will continue to die for and it kills him in turn, because Dean CAN’T say (isn’t to that point, emotionally) what he doesn’t know Cas wants to hear (that Dean loves him as more than a brother). We can then tell that Dean is going to feel that guilt going into dealing with Cas’ death, because even though it’s Cas’ new mission (useless, right down to a truck full of useless diapers) with the nephilim that brought Cas to his death, Dean knows it’s really his “your our family but only like a brother” that truly sealed his fate. It’s 9 years of history together and Dean still not making Cas feel like he belongs. It’s the show highlighting this over and over again (every ”I’ll hold him off”, GOD).

Knowing all this, I can guess where the show is going to go even before the season starts, what simply must be addressed. And I can be right because to me there’s only one way for it TO GO because of how they’ve tied Cas’ development so intimately with Dean’s. It’s not fortune telling. It’s me seeing that the show has pulled out two pans, some eggs, a box of cake mix, a mixer, and that they’ve definitely started mixing everything together to bake a cake. I can tell what KIND of cake it is by looking at the box (all the structural points), but I can’t tell you what kind of icing they are going to use. This is the limit of structural meta. Now as for the type of icing… I can see a certain theme being repeated, specifically, “clarification”. It’s all over 13x01 to a most alarming degree (Jack likes “it”, he likes “nougat”. He’s on a chair, on the floor, on the planet Earth. He’s looking for his father, he’s looking for Castiel. There’s more but you get the picture) and this episode was penned by showrunner Andrew Dabb to set the tone of the entire season (and then this theme has carried on into every proceeding episode). As I said before, if it wasn’t for this specific theme against how Dean telling Cas, “You’re our family. You’re our brother. I need you.” hasn’t made him feel like he belongs in 9 years, then I wouldn’t be even discussing the possibility of Destiel getting text again.

A lot of structural effort is being put forth here, like, a fuckton. I don’t know what other structural meta writers (I’m not even sure who in the community would call themselves such) are saying (you say a lot of meta is being confirmed and I don’t really know what this means because meta and speculation are different and I’m a stickler for what constitutes “meta”) because I’ve been apart from the community for years now and most of the people I used to write with (collaboratively) are simply GONE. Comparisons of Dean to John are just kinda a given imo for a variety of Dean-related discussions. That’s not what is telling. The theme of “clarification” (and how Dean is being slowly crafted into being able to tell Cas something specific, something that resolves Cas’ developmental journey) is what is truly telling. The discussion of negative space is also old, like season 8 old. The show is just putting a bigger emphasis on it now, but back then, just like now, that alone doesn’t really mean anything. Alone none of these things mean much, but together, together they personally make me believe some kind of text is coming because of the specific picture they are painting.

So, in answer to your final part. I’m Sam. I believe in the hope of something, but I know from being around Dean that I might be wrong, that everything might be for nothing. I know so many people that are Dean, people that believe all hope is lost or foolish, that text is never coming. The thing is tho, none of us actually *can* be Cas, because in my analogy, Cas is the writers, the narrative itself. It is fighting to leave the narrative space, to hope against hope that a chance at love exists. No, we can’t be Cas. I’m afraid we can only be Sam or Dean. I’ve recently decided to unfollow some Deans and it’s nothing personal. I understand why they feel the need to tag everything “never gonna happen”. For my personal relationship with the show, however, I have to eliminate that sentiment once it presents itself in a certain tone. I’m fully aware text might not ever happen. I personally don’t need the constant reminder. It doesn’t change my mind, only the narrative can do that (and, in fact, has changed my mind plenty of times before).

The takeaway is this: yes, my meta has a hopeful tone (and you’ll often find it “right” due to its predictive patterned nature), but no, it’s not trying to convince you what you should believe. I’ll always be compelled to write out the show’s effort here (regarding Destiel), especially when it’s as deeply layered as it is now, but I don’t want anyone hanging onto my every word, no matter how many times I’m right and to what degree. Nothing I write is ever going to be able to tell you definitively that Destiel is going to get text. I can only show you why there’s a good possibility, because as of right now, I believe there is. I, more than any other meta writer, will tell you, please follow multiple opinions (and not the same echo chamber) if you truly care about using other opinions to decide your own hope for the possibility of text. I’ve been here a long time and I’ve been on both sides of the discussion. I’ve been hated for both and loved for both. I’m not interested in anyone thinking I’m right about everything or that meta (especially my kind of meta) can somehow tell them the future. The show can, and has, gone against its structure many times before. And above all, Supernatural comes from a time when queer subtextual stories were perfectly fine to never get text. It’s an old show. It’s best never to forget that.

#ask zerbe #narrative structure #the long road ahead #i hope this doesn't sound too harsh #it's not meant to be #i just don't want anyone banging down my askbox when we finally get resolution if its not textual resolution #because i'd say the show went against its structure #and there's really nothing i can say or do that can tell you that's going to happen or not happen #meta writing #anyway #i'm very much in the pro text camp right now #my opinion could change again #and has before #but i really think the show is headed towards its end #and so we'll get it by the very end #hexmaniacchoco

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writerproblem193 · 8 years ago

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Okay so here’s a long and probably rambling meta on Julian Bashir because I have a lot of opinions and emotions about the genetic engineering plotline and I want to sort them out

if any of you haven’t watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine then you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about have a great day whoo

Specifically right now I want to ramble about what I feel over his (apparently controversial) “I was actually genetically engineered” plot line.

It’s been the major focus of two episodes so far — Doctor Bashir, I Presume where it was introduced, and a season six episode where he works with other genetically engineered people. I just watched that episode today, it’s the most recent one I’ve watched. After both those episodes, I had to pause watching for a while just to ruminate on the episode. I do love all of Deep Space Nine’s complicated complicatedness.

Honestly, Julian is one of my favourite characters on the show. I’ve tried to describe why before, but it really hit me during an episode ostensibly about Jake Sisko — he was reporting on how Bashir was being a doctor in a war zone and he was having Problem. Anyway, Jake’s great, but there was a little cascade of moments with Julian in the episode that really hit me.

the complete transition from goofy to professional with brushing Jake off when the casualties started coming in

and him sitting on the floor with the other medical personnel after everyone was stitched up and jokingly (and kinda not jokingly) asking Jake to carrying him to the replicator to get something to eat

Because before he’d been totally relatable with his general failure at life. He’s a total dork. His favourite pastime is like, dressing up in furs and reenacting weird history stuff with his best friend. But there’s something else about him, too.

I described it later as “being able to stand on his own, but not having to”.

That’s something that I very much want in my own life. The ability to not need the support from people around me (my mother is flaming hellpit of emotional abuse, that’s gonna be relevant later). When the casualties were flooding in, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was an expert. He didn’t have to rely on anyone. He knew what he was doing.

But then, after, he sat in a pile on the floor with friends and was clearly metaphorically leaning on them too. And again, I wish I had that too. The network of support around me when I need it. That’s not a dig at any of my wonderful friends — I just wish there were more of them, and that they were physically all around me too.

Anyway now that I’ve gotten incredibly personal, time for Doctor Bashir, I Presume?

I have to say that I knew that he was genetically engineered going in, and so I was able to wince at all the hints as it went along, instead of being confused.

Julian had troubles with his parents. For a good reason, it turned out. He legitimately feels like they murdered him, replacing the (implied autistic/developmentally disabled) ��Jules’ with the person he is now. And that’s a hell of a lot of baggage, alright?

I was uncomfortably feeling with him all through the episode. Here’s a quick bullet list.

when his parents came to see him in Sisko’s office and he had to hug them and make nice and he looked so awfully uncomfortable and Sisko didn’t notice at all and cheerily gave him some time off to have them around

the dinner they had together that was so awful and it was meant to be a little but since my mother is fucking horrible it was hitting way, way too many manipulation and icky buttons with me. The don’t-talk-about-it. The don’t-speak-to-us-like-that. The I’m-an-adult-why-won’t-you-treat-me-like-one. The way he was holding himself, with them in HIS home. The way they berated him for moving so far away from home so they can’t come see him

when he went out into the hall because he couldn’t stand talking to them anymore — out of his own space because they’re in there and he has nowhere else to go — and slid to the floor with his head in his hands. I’ve been there. Achingly, been there.

And though I enjoyed the fun parts of the episode (the spliced interviews were amazing), near the end it started hitting wrong notes for me. Whatever, they had to keep him on the show I don’t care but

He hugged his parents. He agreed to visit and to keep in touch. He basically forgave them. And it infuriated me. So much of the episode was showing and implying the emotional (and you could probably argue physical with the whole ‘rewriting his genetic structure to the point where he feels like the child he was no longer exists’ thing) abuses that he endured at his parents. The whole episode, his interactions with his parents felt like a SciFi Scaled Up Metaphor™ interaction of me with my parents.

The way they’ve ‘built’ me. How my mother takes responsibility for the fact that I write so much and so well because she read to me and instilled a love of reading and that gave me the tools to start writing. She believes that she was my ‘architect’, to put it in Julian’s words, and it is painful. Just like Julian. And that’s where I got angry with the episode, for dismissing what for me was a nuanced depiction of emotional abuse with a haha he forgives them everything is happy!

Most of the rest of what that episode dealt with in terms of his genetic engineering, I liked. I liked the way it built another level to him. I am all about this character in so many ways.

(Also I appreciated O’Brien’s reaction being “hey! Play at your actual level! ….in the corner so it’s fair then asshole”. Because he just accepted it and made their interactions more genuine and agh)

Side note: my sibling is autistic, I probably have autism and/or ADHD, and I’ve been categorized as ‘Superior Gifted’ so everything else w/Bashir’s intelligence/outsider status thing also resonates with me. You know, because he wasn’t hitting literally every other button I had.

My problems with the second episode was more about the writing and the actual show than it was my personal issues, though those are never gone lmao.

It started off pretty cool, even if the ‘mutant’ characters were a little too mental illness coded for my taste. Everything can be done well — and for a while, it looked like they might have been going there!

Bashir had some awesome moments connecting to those other characters, and actually getting to be understood. He was able to bounce ideas back and forth with them in a way he was never able to do with anyone else (*cough* me and my sib *cough*) and generally got to know himself better and unwind. And that was cool.

Something probably about halfway through really dinged all those little sensors in me though. Like his parents. Without warning, super subtly, the framing of the episode changed. Instead of the ‘mutants’ being super cool and #relatable and helpful, the narrative had stopped endorsing it and was showing them as hahah off the rails.

Oh boy, did that bug me. Ohhhhh boy.

And it was lumping Bashir in with them too. And even besides my immense problems with that (and even setting aside the gross ableism with all the mental illness coding), the way he was throwing in with them? Completely out of character. This is a guy who has-

Listen, if you’ve watched the show, you know. Bashir will 100% throw himself into danger against awful odds. He’s brave. His entire character development up to this point has been about that! What the fuck ds9!!!!! Why are you suddenly making him say ‘we should surrender to The Great Evil™ bc Stats Say So’. Besides all the icky ableism and reframing the narrative to make him look like he’s in too deep with the off the rails mutants, it’s literally nothing like him!

I am still really bitter about this, if you couldn’t tell.

And then, the episode framing gets even shittier as all the mutants decide to commit treason. Except Julian, who has suddenly regained his senses, and is like “um. NO??????”

And here the narrative flips again. It’s showing off how Bashir is the exception to the genetic engineering rule, how he’s better than all these crazy people around him, that he’s Not Like That, he’s Better. And I’m just so furious because that’s so clearly how the narrative was positioning him, and it could have been done so much better.

And then in the end, he stops them, is the Neurotypical Passing Hero™, and then just ushers them off to be somebody’s else’s problem again, basically. And doesn’t get that sweet, sweet feeling of belonging and understanding again.

(I did like the one moment where he’s trying to explain the super science analysis reports to his friend and genuinely offers “I-I-I’d love to explain it to you if you didn’t understand it!” and O’Brien is so offended and thinks it’s because Julian thinks he’s stupid. I’ve done that a thousand times and it’s not because I think people are stupid — I just like knowledge and facts and sharing them so much I want to explain it over and over and make sure everyone is on the exact same page. It’s not that I think you’re stupid, it’s that I recently didn’t know this myself and want to share it! And I could see that in his tone and expression and this is why I love him.)

I’m still so furious at the way the episode kept flip-flopping on how it framed the mutants and Bashir’s actions and everything. Super manipulative. Super shitty. I know the show could have done better. I was extremely disappointed.

So anyway. That’s what I think of Julian Bashir, in excruciating detail. I love the plotline, I wanna fight some of the details. tl;dr: I love him and this plot line on my own terms, in my own biased and revisionist interpretation, but the way the show treated some of it was disrespectful, ableist, and ignorant. I am glad to have had the experience of watching and thinking about it, though. Because now I can articulate some things that I experience with examples, and also I have a new life goal. To be able to stand on my own, but to be supported if I want it.

#star trek #ds9 #deep space nine #star trek deep space nine #mine #personal #abuse #emotional abuse #I mention it so I should tag it #Julian Bashir #meta #its midnight I should sleep #but I'm awake #and as far as I'm aware this is coherent #as much as I ever am lmao #anyway if anyone's watched the show and has Opinions about this plot line or whatever #hit me up #ableism #my meta

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ineedtofeelbetter · 7 years ago

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I strongly encourage you to ignore this.

Since probably 2012 whenever I'm going through a bad depressive phase (typically caused by fucking up in a huge way [i.e. losing my job, accidentally wrecking friendships irrevocably], triggering endless waves of self loathing to the point of being suicidal), my way of coping usually involves burying myself in Johnlock.

It was an accident the first time.

It was after series 2 came out and the first hiatus hell began. I remember watching TRF the first time and screaming "They're boyfriends! They're boyfriends!" at my tv. I mean, I shipped them after the first series. But it was after TRF that it seemed so obvious to me. I watched those 6 episodes so many times.

I knew about slash already, but wasn't into it. I had stumbled across some Firefly Mal/Simon slash not too long before that and it just made me laugh. Not because it was gay, of course not. But it was so against character and both of these people had other love interests on the show, ones that played into their behavior and choices. It so happens they were heterosexual. But I believed them. Say what you will about Mal & Inara (cause Mal's behavior toward her, although in-character & kind of believable for the type of man he was, was problematic AF), Simon and Kaylee were SO into each other and seeing them finally get together at the end of Serenity was honestly one of the best parts of the film.

So after watching series 1 and 2 of Sherlock over and over again during the first hiatus hell, I craved new stories. And I desperately craved stories exploring their relationship. It seemed so clear to me in the show but I NEVER thought Moftiss were going to go there. I felt like I would of course never see these characters get together on screen, so I might as well seek out some good fanfic. I knew it'd be out there, of course I wasn't the only one to have seen their obvious love for each other. And boy howdy did I find it.

I can't remember what the first one I read was called or the author's name but it actually was too slow for me and was unfinished. The best part that I remember though was that Moriarty wad a former lover of Sherlock's and would seduce him with puzzles (what actually sounded like Nutshell Murders), but then he'd get Sherlock high to have sex with him. I just thought that was a brilliant choice and made Moriarty more evil, and in a real world way.

The first fic I ever fell in love with though, and the one that would help me through an incredibly dark time in my life, was The Heart In The Whole by Verity Burns. It ended up being the perfect mix for me. It was predominantly fluff with just a bit of smut. And it felt relatively realistic for the characters, especially John. I could picture Martin in some of the scenes and that is what seals the deal for me. I read it so many times. I eventually even found an audio recording of it and downloaded it and listened to it all the time. I still do sometimes. It was my primary source of comfort during this time.

I still don't know why I found it comforting though. I wasn't involved in the fandom at all, I hadn't tapped into into the fandom on Tumblr at all. I'm still not really. I follow a lot of blogs and reblog a fuckton here, but I don't contribute, I don't engage with anyone. I do think that fic though was the reason I found the fandom here. I'd been on Tumblr since 2008 but only followed some Sherlock/Johnlock heavy blogs during the first hiatus. Series 3 came and went, TAB happened. I didn't love either of them as much as series 1 and 2 until I went online and read meta and discussion. And that's how I eventually found Rebekah's TJLC Explained series.

I do disagree with some of the points made throughout, but it did make me believe that we might actually see a romance, we might see these iconic characters come out and get to be together. I watched those videos over and over again and this is when meta/analysis became more enjoyable than the show itself.

I think it was the hope that made me happy. I believed and it made me happy. 2016 was a year filled with sadness for a lot of people for a lot of reasons, big and small. But I thought surely Moftiss would want to help us see hope in 2017. It was a tiny thing, insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but would have made a world of difference to a lot of people.

We all know how 2017 got started and how sorely disappointed we all were. It drove people out of the fandom, more seriously it drove some people to question their actual sanity.

I read all the tin-hatting, I tried to hang on to that hope. But to be honest, it died inside me. I think I still hold on to the tiniest little ember, as faint and unlikely as it may be (I have a theory about October 28th, but I'm 99% sure it's wrong), but for all intents & purposes it's dead.

With every new horror 2017 has to reveal, I miss the old comfort of Johnlock. The knowing it was never going to be real, but being satisfied with the wishful thinking. Before questioned sanity and gaslighting from showrunners and fans being talked down to and blocked on social media. I'm not placing any blame on the fandom whatsoever, btw. I made a choice to believe and still stand by the blatant evidence on the show. I blame the show runners and the BBC. But I do miss the innocence we used to have.

The entire point of my writing this fucking rambly ass shit is as follows:

I lost my job about a week and a half ago and have fallen into a massive depression of the likes I described above. I haven't been sleeping or eating and have been seriously considering suicide again and have tried to go back to the comfort I once found in Johnlock. Instead of listening to that old fic, I started rewatching the TJLC Explained videos. Unfortunately, what mostly stands out now is all the places we were wrong.

I desperately want to understand what happened with series 4 on so many levels and although I understand why they left the fandom, I desperately wish Rebekah would do more TJLC Explained videos analyzing these episodes.

That is all.

#input #insomniac ramblings #text

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