#against his own judgement
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Read this analysis. Amazing. Under a cut (super nice to do that after the official release), but click on it and read this amazing analysis of 1087 and its main protagonist).
One Piece-Mini Chapter Round-Up(Chapter 1087)
My heads not in analysis mode much right now but a new One Piece chapter came out after the most recent Void Month so I wanted to talk a little about the focus of this weeks chapter. Catch it below the cut.
Garp. That's the focus of this week's chapter. And through it, we get so much more insight into the hero of the navy than is evident at first.
A lot of my assumptions and conclusions are based on what happens next. Because the situation looks hopeless at the end of the chapter and Garp isn't smiling even though he is a D and he might die soon. SO! What does that say?
First of all, there's an assumption that Garp expects some intervention. Now, I'm gonna come out and say that I expect Coby and the other marines, as well as everyone they have rescued, to make it out. I also expect Garp to die. I also don't think Garp's death will be front page news. I don't know how it's all going to go down but I think there's a chance Garp expects Kuzan to bail them out. I don't think Kuzan will blow his cover that early. So that leaves some deus ex machina to save the new generation. Who knows what that'll be? I'm not here to speculate. What I am here to do is to talk about what all this says about Garp.
Garp is in deep denial. That's basically what his character is. At the beginning of the chapter, Commodore Brannew states that being a hero is a strength that you have to earn. And Garp has earned that. But just like Kuzan, he has also let it slip away by denying the obvious truth. The Marines are a corrupt organization that he continues to be the poster boy of by staying with them. He sees the truth of it. He also sees the truth of the matter in that those he loves and trusts choose things other than the Marines, and therefore condemn it as well. Him having to watch the execution of his adopted granson, Ace, should've been the final nail in the coffin but we see how he deals with that and all of those painful choices and decisions. He ignores it and keeps punching away. Training his body instead of confronting what all of it means. At the end of the chapter, Garp states that Justice will Prevail with a grim look on his face. Not at all like the D's we have seen in the past, smiling as they face certain doom. To me, this feels like Garp losing the way of the D's, those who challenge power. This invoking of justice at this time also brings back to mind my favourite Marine, Fujitora, and how he represents that Justice is blind. Garp wants his justice to be blind too. Thinking that if he does enough good on the side of the law that he'll tilt things in a way that'll lead to change.
It's the perfect counter to every single Marine with a strict sense of justice. Arguably they all see themselves as necessary if not even the good guys. But Garp, with his immense strength, reputation and extremely long tenure is the perfect counterpoint to them. He shows why their efforts will not pan out. Right now the only reason he's even making a dent is because he is working outside of the system. And even then, as an agent of the government, it's just senseless chaos. It's a resetting of the status quo and not real progress. To me this seems to be heading towards a tragic end for an extremely tragic character. Garp is denial and ignorance. Garp is stubbornness. Garp is one of the best foils in the series. But most of all, Garp, who's had so many of his loved ones choose a path away from him, is a tragic figure.
Being a hero is a strength that you have to earn and that justice will prevail are also concepts that link back to Luffy in a positive light. And by having Garp basically be a foil to Luffy in this sense, Oda highlights how great our protagonist is as well. A lot of people disliked the idea of Luffy being a chosen one a la the gum gum fruit/nika/gear 5. But Oda really wants to hammer in the point with this chapter that being a hero is something you earn. And something Luffy has earned with his actions as well. I'm sure Garp's end will be epic and tragic and probably somewhat heroic, but that heart of a hero that Luffy has is something Garp lost a long time ago. And Luffy shows how Justice really is blind.
Blind in that it doesn't follow laws. There's a lot that can be said about how justice is subjective, with how each admiral seems to have their own version and how Luffy's is entrenched in kindness. And how there is no cosmic right or wrong and how the law is a threat to follow rules and not at all true justice.
Garp also reminds me of so many of the older people I know and some that I dearly love and some that I wished I could love. He's stuck in his ways and because of that it's not hard to project that loved one that refuses to change onto him. He's relatble in the the way that he's someone who wants the best for you but your definition and his don't quite match up. And you see the love there but there is also the overbearingness and the expectations. I love garp. I hate garp. I love garp. He's such a great character.
One last tangent in this wildly rambling post. Garp and Koby. Koby is naive and falls for the pirates trap. But Garp realizes that it's not a fault with Koby. Koby needs to keep that innocent heart he has. It's absolutely essential that he does. And just like how Whitebeard couldn't get mad at his idiot son Squard, Garp can't let Koby take the blame and become what he has. Someone blinded to other's because they've been too busy ignoring their own pain. So Garp has only one job. And that's to get Koby off the island as the same marine he was when he got captured. He doesn't want Koby to change like Dragon or Luffy or Ace or Kuzan. More and more this becomes like Marineford and Whitebeards death. The ship splashing down. The hidden stab wound. The absolute insistence in believing in your own son. You hope that these character's learn from the past. That they change. That they aren't doomed to repeat the past because the story needs them to. You hope that this time it's different. You hope.
#one piece#dovetails in nicely with drake's and guernica's action in the anime this week#drake feeling he's doing what's right#going against the grain#guernica falling into the grain#against his own judgement#cos he does what he's been told is right#that's not in the analysis btw#monkey d. garp#koby#kuzan#monkey d. luffy#thank you for doing this#love your analyses#roydeezed
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harrows a sped kid but gideon is a girl who should by all accounts at LEAST have a 504 plan but all adults dismiss her as merely combative and disruptive, at Best theyll throw in a "not utilizing her potential to the fullest." multiple teachers have vaguely alluded to her having ODD rather than think for a second about why she might be acting like that
#hi hello i have Thoughts#sorry this is so usamerica specific i cannot do an hour of research for every spur of the moment thought that hits me#anyway i have many ideas about how the education system would fail these two spectacularly#the ODD thing is pulled from my actual experience and also just the fact that brown kids are more likely to be labeled that#rather than adhd/autistic/ect#and its basically a death sentence on your fucking record#its not an actual judgement of it as a diagnosis just how its weaponized against struggling kids cool we all on the same page?#feel free to add on if you have your own thoughts#i just think constantly about how characters in the book disregard gideon as stupid#because she doesnt give a shit specifically about their magic version of stem#LEAVE HER ALONE I BET SHED LOVE LIT CLASS GET HER ASS ANTIGONE SHED LOVE IT
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(In which I spiral down a rabbit hole with Midoriya that has little to do with @codenamesazanka 's original post that started this (x). FYI I sorta separated Deku/Izuku to indicate Deku as the hero and Izuku as the person outside of heroics.)
I started thinking about this post again (see the link above) and how Deku doesn’t really understand that non-perfect or sanitized victims exist AND still need to be saved and not by destruction. (The "maybe killing someone does save them" thing is a great way to assuage guilt but it's a stupid copout.) Deku (hero) and more importantly Izuku (person) doesn’t really understand that though because he WAS a “perfect” victim. Midoriya stayed quiet and inconspicuous and didn’t make a fuss about the bullying or discrimination he faced, he just kept his head down and hoped that something would change without any real effort on his part. And if he had died as a result from the bullying he would’ve been hailed as an unfortunate victim (of who? or what? Don’t worry - isn’t his death so tragic? oh well now on to our next news story -), so any critique of society and the individuals who reinforce the status quo don’t actually have to do anything. I know there’s more nuance here and lot of cultural things happening with this all but I’m not gonna dig into that right now.
Moving on! Quite frankly the boy didn’t live long enough to get out of his childish mindset and get some “righteous" anger at the wrongdoings and failings of society. All Might came along when he was still starry eyed and hopeful to lift Midoriya out of the trajectory of his life and Izuku never had any time to get to the point where he comes to terms with the hurt caused society’s rejection of his self and get angry about it. As such, he can’t understand the league. It probably doesn’t even occur to him that he's missing that understanding because for him it worked out - he got the attention and support to be able to escape the circumstances of his birth/quirklessness and to leave the box (deku) that society shoved him in. Twice and Toga never had that support – they both lived how they needed to in order to survive in a world not meant for them until they broke down. (Maybe that's why Vigilante Deku AUs were so popular back in the day - they speedran Midoriya past the hopeful kid stage and to a point where a lot of the fanbase was in their own lives - seeing the issues in the world and wanting to affect change.)
Izuku, for all that he claims to want to connect to the villains, hasn’t given enough thought or empathy to understand how continuing to live a life where you don’t fit in with society can be deeply hurtful as well as the emotional repercussions of having unchangeable parts about yourself be reviled. This isn’t to say Izuku had it easy - of course Izuku went through hardships but.... there’s a big difference between living through stuff as a kid and finding a way out of it vs living through that, growing up, maturing, and in turn looking critically at society. But I can’t bring myself to fault Midoriya for those exact reasons because he's just a kid. He doesn’t have the perspective to see outside of himself – at least not for the villains. Because that seems to be too far of a stretch for him? But Todoroki was close enough to Izuku’s mindset for him to help back in the sports festival arc. I also acknowledge that he's a teenager and IS capable of critical thinking, but from what we've seen, his schools have never actually made the students examine the world they live in - which is a different skill from quirk analysis or historical or literary analysis or the various writing exercises that students go through.
(Believe me – you can have the brightest kid but, most of the time, unless you point out the shortcomings of their mindsets, it won’t occur to them to look further. (Not necessarily assuming that they’re wrong, but rather that their consideration of life is not as expansive as it should be. Especially for a kid wanting to be the greatest hero and save everyone.) For example: many abled bodied people don’t realize how inaccessible places can be until someone brings it up to them or they find themselves in that situation (like a temporary crutch or wheelchair). It’s through no fault of the able bodied person that they weren’t aware enough to consider it in the first place, but what they do once they realize physical accessibility is an issue, is on them.) Back to the point – hero society never calls attention to it’s own shortcomings despite the proof quite obviously existing and the people within society don’t seem to spare much thought either. The adults who have seen more of these instances are then of course more culpable in this than the kids who haven't.
So, Midoriya was also failed by society (cough all might cough) as well, but he chose the hero path - to save people. We see him starting to consider the deeper issues in his talk with Uraraka, and the few times he “tries” to talk to various villains shows that he is aware enough of underlying issues - which makes it his duty as a hero to do something about it. In that way, he is at fault. He chose a profession to devote his life to that should require this of him. And through his hero work, Midoriya has seen the problems in society and yet he’s chosen to turn away from them (and by problems/them I’m referring to the villains “too far gone to save” and the issues they represent).
(Sorry Midoriya, but considering we’re nearing the end and you haven’t shown any growth in this area….. I am faulting you for metaphorically pushing your head in the sand. I do want to be wrong though. I really want the kid to prove me wrong.)
And he’s able to turn away from them guilt free, in part, because he’s gotten the proverbial thumbs up by his classmates that it’s ok and that they’ll just be better and be model minority heroes and that will fix the problem! Because they’re positive representation! Or something? If you can put your mind to it that will fix things! Just try harder! Again, very idealistic but they are kids, so it comes with the territory. (Horikoshi didn’t have to make them unquestionably right in that approach though. Toga and Uraraka coming together for the win! The Shoji and Spinner match up not so much.)
Overall, there’s something about how Deku still fit into society's boxes in an acceptable way and never truly faced what existing outside of "acceptability" was like. Don’t get me wrong it’s tough to live in the mha world as a quirkless person and of course it has its problems and restrictions, but that’s still a box that society provides for, even if the society in question doesn’t like it.
And I'm not saying that Izuku had to live through a terrible life to understand the villains! Just that, he has the capacity to look outside himself and be empathetic, but the application of it is lacking, despite knowing there’s problems, despite having LIVED with some of those problems. Extrapolate, boy!!!! You don't need empathy to reach out to others but the whole compassionate/kind Midoriya thing has been touted since the beginning! So I want to see it!
(Not sure how much sense this will make to people, but there’s a maturity that comes about with either time or certain circumstances that can be hard to grasp unless you’ve lived through it. And quite frankly, Midoriya hasn’t. He went from a perfect/acceptable victim to the top tier of society (heroes).)
(Basically: Midoriya never **matured in the restrictive environment he grew up in and can't emotionally connect with the league who did, because of that. Instead he seems to have internalized the "if they were better" or "if they were truly good" then there wouldn't be a problem because just look at his classmater!, so villains being villains is their own fault and no one else is culpable.)
**centers on the idea that someone starts off as hopeful in regards to their discriminated position in life and over time matures to understand how society supports that discrimination and come to terms with the hurt that it's caused them personally (and in this case to fight back against it)
also, if you made it this far, i'm just having a fun time reading codenamesazanka's posts about the latest chapters
#my hero academia#bnha#the bee talks#i promise i have nothing against midoriya! but there's a lot of build up with him that's gone nowhere currently....#having thoughts! having so many thoughts!#honestly i just feel bad for horikoshi. from what i gather he didn't want mha to drag on this long or it took a different direction#and he's been working on it for so many years. i don't fault him! it's his story! but i can still have a fun time analyzing it#ok i've stared at this for too long. i'm posting it and heading out#mmm is midoriya letting his own life experiences cloud his judgement of the villains? perhaps!#i would love to sit those kids down and make them learn how to reflect (in the academic sense)
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we need to let them loose in a shopping mall with unlimited budget NOW!!!
#mine#pfar#windlifter#maru#planes fire and rescue#granted i dont think windy would be very big on hefty consumerism but he will indulge in some hijinks#he'd enjoy going to a record store too. idk i hc him as a music buff#maru encourages him to indulge in more stupid stuff though#maru probably gets an rc car or something to terrorize people in the mall and later at PPAA with. he'll probably soup it up back at the bas#and make it cracked#and make it look scary too#and chase people around with it#takes it to the lodge and harasses cad spinner from a distance before blade tells him to stop#wind tells maru not to get the mall sushi. maru gets the mall sushi against even his own better judgement#the mall sushi causes regrets#realistically do they have the time to go to the mall. probably not the nearest one i do not imagine is very close#but it is very funny#sillyposting
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Short Breeches
(Blackwall x Mallory Trevelyan, Sera & Mallory Trevelyan)
Sera figures that at least half of the Inquisition has a crush on the Inquisitor, Mallie. As a gift to the people, Sera devises an ingenious prank—seal Mallie's wardrobe and leave her with nothing but a tank top and a pair of homemade shorts. The Inquisitor, Mallory Trevelyan, does not exactly appreciate trying to keep up a fake female identity when nearly everything is on display in front of the Inquisition and the Warden Blackwall.
#original content#ao3#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#mallory trevelyan#da blackwall#da sera#blackwall x inquisitor#da inquisitor#the iron bull#varric tethras#cassandra pentaghast#cremisius aclassi#FINALLY FIXED UP SHORT BREECHES#This has been one of my most re-read fics when I'm bored and wanna stare at Mallory#It's just so... dumb lol#Let it be known I fucking adore stupid romps#I've described Sera's crush on Mallie (Mallie- not Mallory) as somewhat akin to “Mabel Pines if she had a crush on Wendy”#That very... kid-like fascination with a hot older person that you *think* you have a chance with (even if in reality there is NO chance)#Described it in my author's note as a “kid who thinks her camp counselor is hot”-type of crush#Which I think is pretty accurate#This is really deep in the tags to mention but I think it's important to note that *Mallory is NOT a trans woman or even really non-binary*#He's a crossdresser with... complicated feelings about his own masculinity and gender and sex#Perhaps I relate a little too much to his view of femininity as a performance done out of genuine love#Womanhood as a shield against judgement that just invites even more judgement from those who don't get why one would want to be feminine#I Am Very Normal About Gender
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reminding everyone that bills initial perogative was to defend the harley quinn shirt girl and joe was the one to plant the idea in his head that girls who go into comic shops are just attention seeking. even after joe said that, bill didn't look convinced. he continued to look unsure and nervous. bill dickey is An Asshole. he's a shitty, rage filled nerd. but he also had that like, glimpse of a chance and it wasn't directly influenced by anything of note. that was just how he felt in that moment
#like his facial expressions across that panel#the dumbfounded confusion as he asks what that was all about#the visible irritation when joe justifies the harassment of that girl#the silent confusion and contemplation after as he internalizes the blatant lies hes been fed against his own judgement#idk i think a lot about that One Pivotal Moment#general
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marriage counselors HATE THEM!
#woe unhealthy canon-compliant postfall christnarr be upon ye#madness combat#madcom#jebediah christoff#dr. hofnarr#christnarr#marrowart#obligatory mention that obviously jeb is in the wrong here. do i even need to say that#this is in the context of the plan + the fall#he loves her but he pushed her aside for his savior obsession and his actions still hurt her and the people around him#hofnarrs smart enough to realize jeb cant be reasoned with but against her better judgement she Cares#who wouldnt theyve known eachother for 15 years#anyways tldr they just crumble postfall because jeb goes through a mental spiral and becomes bent on the savior thing#hofnarr is hurt but unfortunately (with the state their relationship is in at the time) not surprised#jeb was conditioned into believing he was destined to save the world#so finding out he failed#and only (unwillingly) contributed to causing harm#of course hw would take it into his own hands and push aside everything else#this combined with that need to be perfect. the idea that he must not make mistakes instilled into him#(as working under the nexus usually entailed)#and because of this in an attempt to 'fix' things he hurts people in the process!#and doesnt even notice or admit his doing so#even outright refusing to accept failure in multiple instances#whatever. christnarr miserable i love them 🫶
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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.
But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).
And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like
Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?
I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.
Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.
And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly#not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries#will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death#surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs#contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position#everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying#esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death#the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally#on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life#and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms#so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did#he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim#also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse#it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help#isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse#and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out#idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement#or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement#anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause#rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do#and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death
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u know at the beginning i kind of thought kfp4 was gonna do something with shifus whole. deal. but they didnt like at all which is a shame
#the plot was extreeeemely thin and formulaic as it stands imo#kind of held together by the strength of the action sequences which i liked#but idk it just felt weird that po said an objectively correct thing (why isnt shifu the spiritual leader hes clearly better at it#) and i kind of expected that shifu would have something to do where he learns not to be so. idk#i guess faith in his own judgement rather than like. just kind of Accepting His Destiny or whatever. they make gags about how#hes clearly kind of upset about this whole thing#especially with tai lung having a speaking role its just like. well i wish shifu was here so you guys could talk this out#given how the idea of destiny kind of shapes their worldviews#i think what i wouldve done is a destiny is not so set in stone thing#bring shifu on the quest but when po has his vision he sees zhen betray him and decides to trust her anyways while shifu advises against it#because The Universe Said So and po is like what if..the universe is wrong. or what if we can change its mind :D she seems like a good kid#maybe she just needs some good influences :D and shifu is like -'_- thats fucking stupid po <- thinking abt his shitty son#and maybeeee they could even have tai lung be more involved in the latter half because his dad is here. and they can talk#idk i dont know if this is anything i just kind of wish the movie was giving More
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obsessed with the idea of scara and webtoon collei interacting they would be soooo uncomfortable around the other but not realize it's for the exact same reasons that they hate themselves HEY wait okay im sad now. this was supposed to be a funny post :-( man
#like okay... scara being weirdly wary and hesitant around collei bc he's flighty around children in general#and collei obviously. not taking too kindly to yet another fatui harbinger assuming near proprietary control over her humanity#but like Okay. scara hears about this little kid that they tried to make into a god/infect with the corpse of a god#and something twists in the hollow space where his heart is supposed to be and against all of his best judgement#he impulsively decides to take in one of the test subjects that dotorre's nearly about to discard#why...? well just for fun. theyre just playthings after all. experiments. mere insects.#......... right ?#Okay well the original funny idea i had was jtus the both of them and their general cynical snarky personalities clashing#i really really really really love the idea of scara somehow taking collei under his wing#but like against his own will#.. even if he's the one who wanted to do this in the first place#do you guys understand my vision.
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It dawns on me that the journey to the west took 5,040 days exactly, right, and while the book goes from tribulation to tribulation, there were still only 81 of those. And they were missing one when they got there. And some of the tribulations Tripitaka went through happened before the journey even started.
So, even being generous and saying that most of the tribulations that occurred during the actual journey could be said to have taken a few days to handle each, that's still only about 10% of the journey. A tribulation was anything that happened that put Tripitaka in danger or presented any sort of obstacle to him. Anything even remotely exciting would have fallen into that ~10%, and nothing else could have happened, because otherwise they wouldn't have gotten west one moderate inconvenience and/or major trauma short of the prize. (I mean, unless the thing that happened managed to not involve Tripitaka at all in any way, but that's very hard to do when you are all attached at the hip.)
Holy cow they really were just walking. ALL THAT TIME. No wonder Zhu Bajie was stirring the pot at any given opportunity. It was literally the only thing to do.
#jttw personal#how did they not kill each other#I was thinking about this while still picking at chapter 27#tripitaka was super gullible in that chapter in a sort of inexcusable way but also#it sooooort of makes sense when you think like#statistically#across the whole journey they could have gone moooonths between demons#years even#and suddenly sun wukong's claiming to have killed 3 (they didn't know it was the same demon) in a row in one morning?#even if tripitaka HAD believed him (or just harbored doubts) after the first one how likely was it the second was the case? or the THIRD?#obviously the evidence was in his face but couple the idea that their encounters with demons were actually SUPER rare#with the fact that tripitaka still had major trust issues with sun wukong from the fact he HAD trusted sun wukong previously#only to have that trust pretty solidly broken#and tripitaka's probably operating on a level of 'fool me once' hyper-vigilance against him that actually makes zhu bajie seem reasonable#I mean who are you going to trust? you and your own shitty judgement when you've already been wrong about the guy once before?#or the DEMON who probably knows more about DEMON MAGIC than you?#tripitaka's got TWO expert consults telling him two wildly opposing things but only ONE of them's seriously burned him in the past#(while the third expert consult and tie-breaker is notably abstaining. gdit sha wujing.)#anyway the characterization here is actually really good#tripitaka doesn't know the story framing - WE know something's up because otherwise we wouldn't have a story about it -#but tripitaka doesn't realize he's in a book#and I'm just saying tripitaka is being less foolish than the meta knowledge of being The Reader makes him seem#still a total brat though#he's definitely letting his own pride and hurt (and like...trauma) bias him against sun wukong unfairly#which is something he needs to work on and IS something that he pays for#(even with the bandits: expecting sun wukong to behave to tripitaka's standards of morality prior to TEACHING him those standards)#(wasn't fair. but also when he *tried* to address it sun wukong got angry and took off. and then tried to kill him. so.)#it's just interesting and whoever told this story originally was clearly putting a lot of thought into what it would be like#to actually be in these guys' shoes. Like ugh. HOW is this book so good?
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Okay, saw the summer event preview and aaaaaaAAAAA
#//I heard Tighnari’s voice and got SO happy#//YES#//SUMERU FUN#//But also am Intrigued by Emelie#//I usually Hate doing the whole Oh my god; they’re SIBLINGS with characters with similar designs; but like…#//Could Emelie be Kaveh’s stepsibling??? 👀#//Bc his mama DID move on to Fontaine when he was p young#//I don’t mind if not and she’s her own character; but it would be SO funny to me if she was#//For various reasons lololol#//Wiuldnt be surprised if not tho; considering they made no mention of such a potentially HYPE plot point for her#//Bc you KNOW the Kaveh fans would be chewing on that Immediately hfbcb#//But anywho AAAA NEW SKINS#//Nilou’s is so pretty; but I don’t have a Nilou myself#//Honestly thought Kira’s was Navia for a bit there tho hfbfb#//Ah well#//Also speaking of Wanderer#//Bro going up against the ‘dragon’ jdhdhd#//You KNOW he wouldn’t hesitate to go up against any Sovereign tryna give his Auntie trouble#//Though luckily Apep is p chill rn; and Neuvi got now plans to bring Judgement upon her any time soon#//Good; my smol bean needs no extra worries rn#//I am gonna Suffer when the needed update happens ugghh
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ��i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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Han Sooyoung looked at me with a confused expression because she didn't know what I was trying to do. Cho Youngran wondered, "…What do you want to say?" "What do I want to say? My mother knew what constellation you would get." "…" "Maybe she saved your daughter for the purpose of trying to use you. She is such a person."
Uh...Dokja?
Hate to break it to you, but you are also "such a person."
You've literally outright said that you've saved a person because you knew they would be useful in the future. In fact, you've done it multiple times. You don't even try to hide it.
#I can't tell if he just is throwing out anything and everything to turn people against his mother due to his own distrust and dislike of her#or if his feelings for her are clouding his judgement and giving him some major cognitive dissonance#kdj#orv#orv spoilers#orv novel chapter 171#orv liveblog#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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The fact that Charlie kind of thinks of himself as stupid and slow when he's not at all </3
#its a line to walk with him but i try to write him as more observant than he ever gives himself credit for#he just lacks the confidence to act on the kinds of things he notices most of the time?? or he doubts his own judgement and automatically#thinks he's gotten it wrong#he's off-put and sometimes even skeptical of his mom's behavior but he doesnt trust himself enough to doubt her outloud#he argued back a little against Gabe/wasnt going to leave until Vi also thought separating was best for them and it just.. reaffirmed his#own doubts#he's smart!! he's not bad at reading people!! but he doubts himself and he cant hide his own anxiety to save his life#and he isnt always immediately articulate and it gets taken advantage of 😔💔#ANYWAY i was thinking about the southern accent/the correlations to stupidity in media#and how much i kind of love leaning into charlie being this.. quintessential southern working class guy#and he's not stupid even if between some bad luck and some bad influences he's been led to think he is
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playing pathologic 2 as a disconnected ndn hitting harder than local man expected, more at 8
#spoilers#ive played pathologic classic a few times now and i'm finally finishing up 2#its good i just found myself walking to the termitary with dread in my stomach#like i knew#ive played the first game i know theyre all dead#but there was a part of me that had dared to have any amount of hope for the past 9 days in the game#you know against all better judgement#the day prior going to sabhas and talking to the man with questions about his language#how the only words he knew for certain things were russian ones#his own language had lagged behind the changing vocabulary#and in true artemy fashion you have that kind of exasperated answer choice of just#so make up more then#you dont need someone else to tell you what to do#just do it#i dont know it just all started hitting#talking to oyun and watching artemys dialogue options where a day prior he was coming into himself more and the choices for talking with#the kin were getting more and more organic#like he actually knew what to say#or felt comfortable saying what he wanted to his family right? and even thinking of them as family#all of that disappearing and going immediately to fear#i dont know man its just a lot. and its all hitting especially hard right at the end here#theres more i could say and more i probably will say but good god following this narrative on artemy's back is hurting my soul.
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