#again like! idk tdlr

[pee-boner-clenching]

outcry can any of my mutuals or even strangers teach me commander again like im a fresh womb newbie im desperate

[ghostforwhat]

when you’re off of work would you please elaborate on your hannibal service top agenda,,, please my family is starving

i don’t want anyone to starve so obviously I will extrapolate on the service top aspect of Hannibal Lecter o7!! I am going to get so carried away and I apologize in advance.

Alright going to start this off by saying I do think they’re vers but only in regards to each other, I think for canon relationships, Will has a tendency to allow himself to be directed while Hannibal loves to orchestrate. With each other, though, it grows increasingly and alluringly complicated. Arguments could be made and subsequently thrown out depending on what part of the show you’re watching and post fall is an entire free-for-all because you can’t tell me two grown men survive murder-suicide via cliff and then settle into the puritanical rigidity of who tops and who bottoms.

Okay that being said, honestly i could make the case that both of them lean more toward making sure whoever they’re with is getting the most out of the encounter (maybe for different reasons; the popular trope of Will’s empathy causing a sort of blissful feedback loop and in Hannibal’s case, it stands to reason the politeness overlaps with a challenging sort of hedonism, he’s in control and playful about it) but I think that specifically for Hannibal, Will’s reactions are what he’s constantly seeking and then hoarding. Like. Will responding to stimuli that Hannibal presents is basically the premise of the show and Hannibal very clearly gets off on that, maybe not anywhere explicitly but we see shots of his pupils dilating, his gaze always caught on Will, licking his lips, all in response to Will reacting to him. It’s very rare he’s outright hungry at the beginning of a conversation or interaction, he seems to maintain a sense of aloofness until Will snarks or baits or replies or even defers and then, it’s as though he’s desperate to see more. I'm not getting into the whole them eating meals together because I'll devolve very quickly but like. just keep in mind the way Hannibal watches Will eat, as though he savors Will instead of the meal he cooked. Right. Okay. He gets caught up in Will’s responses very quickly, enraptured and almost stupid about it and trying to immediately trigger more which!! Goes hand and hand with him doing very uh lets say unique acts of service (the malewife jokes are only half jokes); the breakfasts & dinners, the driving, the caretaking. Yes all that’s manipulative but to Hannibal, that doesn’t negate that it’s still getting him the responses he wants and that’s also maybe why he’s so quick to say they’re friends because he’s viewing it as a form of relationship building and quite frankly, that is the only way that man knows how to build relationships; he sets himself up as a crutch and then breaks your leg and unfortunately at that point, for Will, for Jack, for Abigail, for Bedelia, for Chiyoh, you are too grateful to be standing that you forget he’s the reason you can’t do it on your own. The others I mentioned learn either very quickly or very (in painful irony) rudely that he is only a crutch as long as he enjoys it, as long as he can benefit from holding you aloft.

However. In Will’s case, he tries to remove himself and finds that it’s him who can’t stand and he’s immediately resentful and desperate to take back that ability, leaving another gift, another act of service, for Will to prove that he can still provide it and detrimentally putting himself on the map for Jack and Mason in the process. He’s so eager to have Will’s response, he waits at his own fucking crime scene. Will gives him what he wants and he’s too overwhelmed to respond with any sort of power or immediate selfishness, he runs again. And then. Muskrat Farms and his surrender. I feel like I don’t even need to explain why that backs up my case here, that man is so so ready to rescue and then surrender all because Will’s involved; two things he’s never done in his entire life, they essentially reduce him to this almost pathetic thing and it doesn’t give him pause at all because again, they’re acts of service whether Will wants them at that point or not. Like Bedelia said it best, he’s obsessed, he wants every reaction, every word, every sigh and curse, he’s very single-minded about getting them and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt, himself or others, to get them. Now, combine all that and the cliff scene and tell me that man doesn’t spend every second they’re in a bed together completely and utterly focused on Will and Will alone.

[siinlight]

My biggest problem art wise is my posing is too stiff.. idk how to add fluidity to the still movement, and it drives me crazy

[doubleedgemode]

Here's what I've been working on for the last few days! And somehow I didn't catch til now that I wrote patience instead of patient...

I have been thinking quite a lot about my thoughts on "baby" A.B.A, as I have been seeing a bunch of other people's cool concepts for it. Let me explain the drawings in order and detail, under the cut for your convenience:

1.As we have officially seen, she didn't have a proper baby or child form, looking close enough to how she appeared in the classic games. Still, I imagine her stare is more innocent and somehow looks more tired, scared and disheveled than her current self. I have seen concepts of cool older A.B.As with labcoats, but felt an slightly oversized one was fitting for a barely newborn homunculus that is absolutely alone and confused :(. She grabbed it from somewhere in Frasco, possibly one of her creator's spare coats, but, it being found all torn up and a bit bloody isn't a good sign of whatever happened before she was born... Kept her official just awakened leg sutures, but added some more to drive home how she's a frail, just born frankenstein-esque creature. I hope the neck one is visible. Oh, also, her head key's a bit shinier and cleaner! Idk you, but when drawing this I just wanted to give her a big hug :(.

2. I mentioned Frasco's intriguing ghosts here. Were there before A.B.A was born? If so, coupled with her ability to see ghosts, one could think they at least were a sort of human(ish) interaction for her, but I love to suffer so my headcanon is that they have.. complicated feelings about her. TDLR they find her annoying weird cause... She's A.B.A, and while they're civil and might have shared some chats and moments, the ghosts can get kind of fed up and ignore her. Also they probably have their own deep ghostly business to attend. Sorry. Also, because again I love to suffer, Based on the ghosts wearing what seem like old-timey clothes, I headcanon that they can be mentally old-fashioned and, while NOT fully responsible for this (as again. A.B.A is A.B.A, she gets on troubles and obsessive warped up views of living on her own), their stuck mindset influenced A.B.A to (not that unlike Elphelt) think being a super duper good wife is an important goal and... Being SO into the idea that (her idea) of romantic love will be a panacea for her. Geez this went on and got sad. If it makes you feel better, I based off the little sad A.B.A on sad-looking seal pictures.

3. Eh, this is a short one, just me drawing classic A.B.A to compare it with how I draw my younger design. Slightly more confident, still as pathetic, of course. Even though Paracelsus' head came out much smaller than it should have (:/) I'm very proud of how this one drawing came out!

4. Lastly, as a bonus, my take on a barely formed, not yet born A.B.A. As I've mentioned sometimes, (real life alchemist) Paracelsian homunculi were transparent before they were fully formed, and I like the idea. She's just very small also. Don't ask me about the key, idk how that works, I just wanted to add an A.B.A design piece so it didn't look I just slapped an unrelated humanoid doodle in my post, haha.

[aomaoe]

I'm absolutely obsessed with your art style. Can I ask how you draw proportions and likeness so well?

oh ym god i'm insane in the most positive way huh!?!?! 😭😭😭 this is literally SO sweet, i have no idea how to like..!?!? react?!

I'm so glad you like it!! 🥺 so with proportions and likeness.. honestly I'm not sure. I can't mentally visualize things, so my sketching process is a lot of repetitive scribbling until I get it to look right. In the past I've done figure sketching, adn i would 100% recommend! It helps give you an idea of shape and movement with the body.

I recommend Line of Action! They have timed courses, including a class course that i think goes through them all.

To add to the above, I like to consider weight and gravity a lot. Everyone has a center of gravity, so imagining their feet on the ground in whichever pose you have them in helps a LOT with making it feel more natural.

For getting likeness.. I'm not sure at all beyond trying to translate an actors/persons facial structure into my style. That is also a lot of trial and error, really, and first passes don't always look right.

A good example is my first Steve from ST drawing, going back.. my original sketch looks NOTHING like him. But as i rendered, I applied more of his facial structure. From his eye shape, to his nose, his mouth, his jaw, etc. Applying this technique every time i drew him just make it closer and closer, but I also wasn't trying to draw realistic. I kept it within the confines of my style.

These are a lot of words for me to just say I wing it.. but, at least it gives SOME insight.. LOL

That first drawing was actually done in a bout of art block, and it helped me BEAT my art block in the end. I struggled a lot, but sometimes the destination is worth the frustration of creating :]

tdlr, use references!! practice!! consider real life!!! idk what else. LOL just have fun!!! ive been drawing for a long time now, so sometimes these things just take time but when you actually practice.. it helps TONS... (i really need to do figure studies again— maybe a master study or two— im so bad at colouringfDSKFLDS)

[maroonangels]

~ my heartbreak high season 2 opinions ~

tdlr; these are MY opinions and I am in no way saying I’m 100% right about things or that having a different opinion is wrong - also they’re kinda all over the place sry

// season 2 spoilers below obvi //

I lowkey liked sashas character this season 😭 I know I KNOW okay she was annoying with that missy thing & some other stuff but other than that she was kinda just a walking meme and the scenes with her & quinni at the end were sooo cute imo

as much as I love malakai/amerie - amerie needs to work on herself like.. a lot

also malakai get your ass BACK on that plane and come home thx <3

Idk what was going on with darren when it comes to them & quinni this season but all that aside I did really like darren this season

as much as I wish they looked more into quinni’s arc I think her being so independent and unmasking goes along with the shorter scenes she got (also she was fighting with her friends and it’s ameries pov so like yeah makes sense)

I really wish we got more cash & harper scenes since they’re living together now

cash’s name origin has me crying my eyes out

spider & missy unironically one of my favorite ships of the show

however that shit with spiders mom- good fucking god I would also be a total dick if my mother told me I was destined to be a monster

wish we got more missy lore tbh

also wish we got more ant lore but I loved him & harper together, they were sweet okayyy

loved & hated the love triangle

loved rowan & malakai at first but then amerie got involved and I just.. idk I liked some of her and rowan’s scenes together (yk before ep8) but it felt shitty of her to get with rowan

then again amerie annoyed me a lot this season so I might be biased

the way she’s so self absorbed just like in s1 is actually a bit painful, like did you learn nothing??

HOWEVER the abortion storyline did make me cry and her & malakai & harper need more scenes together immediately because good god were they tugging on my heart strings

stealing all of harper’s wardrobe btw

woodsy teaching harper to drive?? mother is mothering

finale was fucking wild but i honestly loved it

voss getting arrested was the BEST decision the writers made with his character

the new editing styles they used??? to die for. I love when shows do that type of stuff

this season honestly felt a lot more interesting than s1, obvi love s1 but s2 just has so much more fun & fluid stuff imo

they set up so many plot lines for s3 I NEED them to renew it right now

[bonnieura]

You've probably been asked this before but: why Kennedy?

I love this question!! And yes ive been asked it before way too many times for my own good LOL. honestly its a question i myself dont rlly know the answer to. Not even I know how this hyperfix started .. im p sure it had smthng to do with clone high tho. I was fixated on the character jfk then it sort of just snowballed from there i guess haha

If i had to list down some reasons hes just a really fascinating figure to me in general,, his medical history especially i find the most interesting. Something abt how hes widely considered the most robust/vigorous president when in reality it was the opposite ..theres so much misinfo concerning his life and political beliefs that i just HAD to get into it lol. I was drawn to the mystique regarding his legacy to the point i cldnt help myself but dive into his [unfortunately] sensationalized life. I wanted to know what made him so great to the eyes of the public but after a few months in i had already realized that its just bc hes considered a martyr. I find his social power and affect on the 60s zeitgeist to be so incredibly fascinating,, he literally inspired a generation [i feel like this is fact.. or else he wldnt be as famous as he is] and i just needed to know what was so inspirational lol. idk im yapping right now but tdlr theres so much vagueness surrounding kennedy's life that i just really needed to get into it and see for myself. again i dont really know exactly why i got so into jfk but if i had to guess these wld be the reasons

[trashbins-stuff]

Hello. I have seen that you have been tagged by @neobixiscool on one of their posts. I am planning to make a rant post on them. If you can provide some background info and your side of the story, that would be great. If you feel uncomfortable discussing this, that's ok. Have a good day/evening.

rub hands together like flies. my time has come/silly 😋😋

and thank you for coming to me :3 i appreciate it/gen also i get to go all cabby on this hehe

oh and, im not really hurt-hurted by them, i feel like mocha (mochablogger), liam (moonmxple) and mac (blairdrawzstuff) are most affected. They did have a book with my character in it but in a different universe or something (without my consent nor credit btw). Anyway under the cut is my observant. Honestly i think i might have jsut make the rant post for you lmao hrgbnhe 😭😭

the background/before:

mocha was working on a little story and xe said we could be in it! so obviously me and my friends signed up for the fun, not really expecting anything, the story was called "The Traumatized Cup", thats when we first meet him.

In one of the chapter mocha had introduced rubix, at first i didnt really think much about him, i was just aware of his presence, i do notice him and mocha started to become friends and i thought that was great :)

something that you should probably contact cuppy for more info:

so rubix (or according to rubix, "jasp" was roleplaying) and mocha were friends on facebook, and they roleplayed there i think, this i just know but apparently he said crap about liam (mocha's platonic partner and my best friend). Mocha is very sensitive and even in roleplay xe's still uncomfortable with what rubix said

"bezel's" divorce headcanon (and possible influence on further problems):

i heard people talked about it but never knew where it came from, but thne i found out and,,

tdlr; 1st one is about mocha and rubix, i dont know if mocha consent to it. 2nd one is uh a bit weird i i guess like he could have ask facemoji to make another one ;-;. 3rd ah yes the divorce that i had heard about!/vneg

rubix said bezel forced him into making the 1st one, even if thats true, rubix said the divorce was bezel's headcanon but hes the one that decided to post the 3rd one ("okay i asked facemoji again..")

seem kinda sus not gonna lie..but what do i nose right :-)

bezel probably influence more but even after all these months im still not sure if he really did do those things, idk lul, it is pretty weird that bezel's blog was a sideblog though (liam told me)

heres a bunch of words with link attach, those r my opinions lmao:

these u can just click to read so i hope thats okay

on wattpad he have a book in which he painted mocha, hazel and blair as manipulative (admittedly his writing was good, he could have used it for something different though)

he also uses some of our characters (such as mocha cuppy, hazel, blair, harp, blueberry, winter, bin (mine btw), seedling, galaxy journal,...etc) he did the delete that book tho, anyway heres more screenshot proof (credit @moonmxple )

mocha asked liam and neobix said its cringe

i remember this one also

the one where he tried to ban pet name and online dating (in 2023) (check the comment and other reblogs also theres alot, its practically a goldmine/silly)

and can i say he barely knows our friend group? like sure he knows mocha but hes trying to fit into our group (very poorly)

please read what cass wrote in the comment (thanks cass for speaking out about it ily)

the ask i sent him

NOT to get all bitchy here but mocha blocked you therefore you literally dont appear anywhere on xer dash, you're out of xer life and xe had no reason to pester you, not everything has to be about mocha. You guy's relationship (or supposedly lack there of) had change but honestly? thats okay they dont have to like the same people that they liked yesterday. You might think you know that's them but it wasnt, mocha in real life is kinder and better than the version inside of your head and they're happier now and its so sad that you cant see (because you're blocked)

and again, not everything has to be about YOU

he also made it all about HIM like excuse me ???? can i not complain for little bit without you coming in and nag about your problem ??? if you're suffering go talk to someone dont talk to online strangers ??? :)))???????

bro cant even read a long paragraph post like go back to elementary school lmao, also reporting ppl just because they use their right to not forgive you is such a sore loser move, it make you sound like petty six year old (also max be spitting facts tho)

bro brought out HIS right (reporting mocha, which he actually cant do if he doesnt have a valid reason) while ignore MOCHA's right (not forgiving him, which isnt a valid reason for him to report xem). The definition of petty is literally complain way too much about unimportant things that could have and should have ended already

"you dont have to relate to everything you see on the internet, somethings are simply not about you" :)

did you know that to report someone you have to click alot of buttons??

common salad W &lt;3333

oh yeah, this doesnt have links but jasp/neobix is being so casual abt bezel's death but also uses it as a way to make people feel bad for getting upset with what he did

Sorry for playing the dickhead role, but you wouldn't be laughing if you knew how we felt about every single one of you. (why it sound serious all the sudden lol)

why i still doubt (uh and heads up, galaxy brush, kodu, cuppy,..others who think @/rubixisanidi0t was saying the truth, im not saying he isnt but you cant blame me for not trusting can you? please skip this part if you're sensitive):

naw so if this was suppose to be jasp then whats jasp motive lmao :/..he dont gain anything from this + who tell people their secret plan publicly?? + how did jasp know about rubixs hallucination?? rubix please dont tell such personal things to jsut your friends and please just talk to an adult in real life. And jasp, dont let these kind of things on the internet its not safe/srs

this is just straight up weird and also why did neobix/jasp said "old friend" like hes rubix?? when he supposedly told rubix and i quote "yeah.. Soo.... This person named @/mochablogger seemed like some cool person, and when I tried to talk with them... Nothing happened, so when I figured they didn't care... It all happened at once." neobix/jasp and mocha werent even friend to begin with why was he SO obssess over getting mochas forgiveness when they supposedly barely interact much??

aint it a bit weird how this is supposedly jasp/neobix but why would they make this video??? it???doesnt make any sense?? and like were rubix and jasp still good friend??? why wood bezel make jasp of all people do it??? unless yk

HOL UP, WAIT A MINUTE..if rose jelly dated rubix but rubix tunred out to be jasp then..WHO IS ROSE JELLY ACTUALLY DATING??????

if @/neobixiscool is suppose to be jasp then how did he get a screenshot for a show rubix was making???

i translated it and head up. it has death threat in it

you know, if someone stole my account and ruin my reputation i wouldnt be following them and be mutuals with them :)

i appreciate him saying hell save us but like..why would @/neobixiscool linked the real rubix's yt and discord knowing full well that the real rubix was there and could told joiners the truth??? that seem kinda dumb ngl also on the channel you can find a video called "waitng for forgiveness" which @/neobixiscool had talked about. and lets do a bit of timing here, if rubix really was telling the truth and havent been on social media since his alst post on @/rubixcuix (last posted in august) and the divorce arc and the roleplay thing and EVERYTHING had started in september, and if the yt belonged to rubix, then he shouldnt have known that mocha didnt forgive him and make that video????? bc he wasnt suppose to be there since august??? bc if anything he shouldnt be waiting for forgiveness bc if jasp really did steal his tumblr account then its not his fault?? like i find it absoltuely HILARIOUS that the evidence agaisnt what rubix said was on both the account @/neobixiscool AND @/rubixisanidi0t's PINNED post?? and it boggles my mind how no one talks abt this???/lh/nm i mean its quite obvious maybe im jsut really observant though idk

if you got your account stolen and jasp supposedly brought back a wattpad book, i dont think you should be continuing it?? and didnt you said your reported him on wattpad?? on the same account where the book is?? why are you acting like "yes i did promise them this and im fully aware of what happen even though i supposedly havent been here since august and i will continue this book" has it hit you?

uh yeah so these are just my silly little takes, but hey! what do i nose? :-)

[babys-nsfw-thoughts]

BROS I FINALLY GOT TO EAT ASS

It was weird but not horrible? Like embarrassment 10/10 love that, being squished by ass 10/10. Although the smell was 100% not expected, it was like sharply sweet? Idk if I’m gonna do it again but hey that’s what trying new things is about! Also exploring a part of my partners body he doesn’t let me see let alone touch very often was so nice I got all the warm fuzzies :)

Tdlr: ass was ate, vibes 10/10, experience 5/10

[sleepy-vix]

What are your thoughts on fanfic as a reading genre/its legitimacy

I adore it but for some reason a lot of people find it to be less valid

hmm interesting ask.

okay, first of all, i used to really like fanfiction back in 2020 but now i dont like it anymore bc i dont have any large fandoms im into and im too lazy to look for good ones, so i cant strongly say that its incredible, wonderful, etc etc 😭🫡

as for its validity as reading... well, ofc im going to say it's valid bc logically you're still reading words.

but... i for one think that the quality of books being published nowadays are just so trash and i think thats due to readers (especially booktok/stageam users) thinking fanfiction writing is the best form of writing ever- which annoys me alot... (ofc im not saying that all fanfics have bad writing, but its just that fanfictions usually follow tropes and same plot lines as many others so... yeah. iykwim 😭)

honestly if you love fanfiction thats very good for you bc yes its fun and its so cool to read abt ur fav characters again and again but when fanfiction-style writing starts bleeding into the world of "literature" (published books) and is praised as being awesome works of writing.... it makes me want to combust into a billion little glitchy bits (bc its alrdy happening 😭)

idk... i dont think im the best person to answer this bc im actually heavily biased towards fanfiction as a form of writing/reading (tho i love people who read it. you're valid for reading it, i love that it makes you happy!!)

TDLR: it is valid but i for one dislike it

i would love to see other people's takes on this though, since my thoughts are all over the place and subject to change.

tysm for the askk!! ✮

[t4tbedehopmar]

tdlr: i'm leaving tumblr for mental health reasons and to concentrate on school! this is probably a forever thing. i had a very nice time here, thank u to all my friends for being there for me <3 disc is hxtterenes and twt is mochiinami but i can't promise being active there, i'll try tho! byebye and live laugh love bedehopmar! <33

hello! so um. all of u clearly have realized that i haven't been online these past few days!! i rlly didn't feel well enough to be here so uh yeah djdhdjj and u see after this week of constant thinking i've decided... that i'm leaving tumblr. 99% sure this is a 'i'm never coming back' thing but u never know! i'm so sorry for doing this but as u've probably noticed my mental health has gotten worse this summer and it's mostly bc i spend way too much time on tumblr and then get sad and angry bc i feel ignored, and that's just not good for me! plus this year i rlly want to concentrate on school (as i'm starting in two days) and tumblr won't help me at all. this doesn't rlly have to do w my breakdown from a few days ago but it has helped me realized this site isn't rlly my thing. now, to all my friends here, thank u sm for sticking up w me all this time! it's been like. 2 years since i joined tumblr? and u've always made me feel like in home! u guys are simply great and i've had sm fun w all of u <3 i'm gonna miss talking to u but it's for the best! i'll never forget the time we've spent together, or u. just in case anyone wants to keep in touch my disc is hxtterenes, but i can't promise i'll be online there ^^; i'll try my very best tho! i'm also on twt but idk. it's mochiinami if anyone wants to follow! again i'm very sorry for this sudden decision but u have to understand this is what's best for me.

and w that goodbye! thank u thank u THANK U for everything u've done for me, all of u. i can't say that enough dkdhdjj but i truly feel it! u guys are one of the best things that have happened to me. now then farewell! may bedehopmar always live in ur hearts <3

[luescris]

*inhales* Okay. Spoilers for 56. I think I'm able to get my thoughts out now.

Listen. The urge to go through every single panel of this issue is so real. There's so much to talk about for every single one of them, so many things to notice. But TDLR???

I don't want to sound biased. Because I know the others need it too. But Sonic needs FUCKING therapy.

Idk how many times I've said this but I will continue to say it until the day I die (because I just know this ain't happening in the least 🙃). He's gone through so much shit, and the two faces he makes that shows this???

These are faces we never see. Ever.

One genuinely looks like he's about to snap. The other shows exactly just how much what she said, and what happened, truly affects him. He's so shocked and horrified. Again.

I will reiterate again that I know they all need therapy. Words can't describe what I feel about what happened to Surge and Kit yet, except for "what the fuck" and "oh my god". They're gonna need their own post about just how fucked up they are (and how I now personally hate Starline too for everything he did to these children). I don't intend to make this too long, and since Sonic's my favorite, he's gonna be the first-- not to sure I'm making one of these for Surge and Kit though so, yeah, haha. Maybe this will sound biased idk ajshdhhs 😅

a n y w a y

I want to start off by saying that what Surge said to him is definitely fucking with him big time. Like imagine almost your whole personality, your whole life, has been about fighting for yourself and other's freedom.

Only to find out that you can't give someone that freedom simply because you're living.

He can't offer Surge that kind of peace. Maybe by some miracle (which happens often so this potentially might happen), he finds a way, and maybe he's probably not discouraged about it. But who knows where they even went now? How would Sonic even go about trying??

Furthermore, Sonic was clearly not happy when Eggman was mentioned. Furthermore, he almost drowned, which is a big fear for him (obviously shown in this issue alone), and practically watched Surge like. Idk come close to dying or something

The way they framed it looked like she freaking di e d (I even thought she did but she just passed out but just. good lord). Even if she didn't, his face says so much, and he's tongue tied. There's no quips, no retorts at Eggman, he doesn't have the energy to continue. He couldn't even pull himself and Tails up.

And the way the Wisps we're always clinging onto him?? Could be partly for their own support, but could also be trying to comfort Sonic too. He doesn't even seem to mind it at all either.

I feel like it's going to take just a little bit more before Sonic finally snaps and let's everything out. Just some little bit. Even though we most likely won't get that, if anything the next issue he'll act like nothing ever happened again. 🙃 Just wishful thinking, I guess.

He's so tired. And this was just so much. And I'm genuinely still not really sure what to do about it. 😭

[drbennedict-writingadvice]

hello! any advice to get out of your head for someone who hasn’t picked up writing since they were a teenager? for some reason, in my head, i view writing on my own time for fun as “embarrassing” or “cringy” simply because i’m getting older and view it as a immature hobby…

…which is obviously not true! i have a lot of respect for writers and i know you can write at any age, but whenever i open a page, i feel out of place and can’t read my old writing in fear people would look at me as immature. the same goes for creating detailed characters and storylines.

i’m not even old either (19) but i mainly wrote a lot in middle school—maybe that’s why? idk.

tdlr; any advice on writing for myself again without fear of judgement?

Hi anon,

Thanks for writing in! This is something a lot of creators struggle with especially if it’s something they did when they were younger and during a time they considered themselves to be “immature” or “cringey”. The brain is great at linking things and creating patterns, and because you wrote a lot when you were in middle school, a time period that I think is universally accepted as the worst and cringiest part of life lol, your mind linked the hobbies you did during that time to the feeling of immaturity and cringiness. The great news is that most people grow out of this phase naturally! I know it’s not exactly the same but I remember when I was just starting college I felt embarrassed to talk about the bands I liked in high school (and secretly still liked) but as I got older and became more self confident and sure of myself, I learned to unabashedly embrace those parts of myself. And nobody cared! In fact a lot of people felt the same way as I did.

But don’t worry, I’m not saying that you just have to wait it out! There are definitely things you can do to speed up this process. My first suggestion is that if you’re worried that people will think writing for fun is immature (which as a 29 year-old with a writing themed blog I promise you it’s not!) , then for right now, just don’t tell anyone! It can be your secret hobby while you learn to be more confident and rewire the way your brain thinks about this.

I’d also suggest trying to find other people who also enjoy writing either as a hobby or as a hopeful profession so you have a safe community you can explore your writing in. Surrounding yourself with like minded people can be really helpful! I remember the first time I attended a writing workshop it felt so amazing and freeing to be surrounded by people who I knew also loved writing and were never going to judge me for my passion. It’s currently national novel writing month and even if you don’t feel up to trying to write an entire novel in one month, there are still plenty of NaNoWriMo activities you can take part in. There are tons of discord channels, forums, virtual events, and in person events you could join.

A lot of it will just be reminding yourself that it’s not immature or cringey. This won’t change you knee jerk reaction overnight, but just like how positive affirmations work (at first you think it’s dumb, then it’s kind of neutral, and then you start to believe what you’re saying to yourself) after a while you’ll find that the way you think about writing has changed. Think of writers you love and admire and how you don’t think they’re immature or cringey for writing, and neither do most people! Think of Tolkien who created incredibly detailed story lines and characters, and even went so far as to create multiple fake languages that many people now genuinely learn for fun. Even if fantasy isn’t your preferred genre I have yet to meet someone who considers what he did anything less than impressive. Not once have I heard someone call what he did immature or cringey. So I think just recognizing that you have this thought pattern that your logical brain knows isn’t true, and for now just accepting that you have this cognitive dissonance and not feeling bad about it, but taking these small steps to work towards changing that thought pattern.

And finally, just write anyway! Like I said you can keep it a secret for now if you want to, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! But try to write anyway. The more you write now then the more examples your brain has to rewire writing not as something you did when you were younger and therefore something immature but as something you do now as a young adult. And don’t put too much pressure on yourself as you’re getting back into writing for the first time in a while. Do not expect that your first attempt is going to be a masterpiece, but just have fun with it! Get into the habit or writing regularly, whatever that means for you. It could be once a week, it could be every day, just do what works for your life and your schedule right now. The more you practice the more normal it’ll feel and like anything, the better you’ll get at it, which will help you feel less cringey about your writing.

I’ll leave you with one small anecdote. Any time I tell people that I’m writing a novel they are always immediately impressed. I have never had someone say anything negative about it or anyone act like it was a dumb thing to spend time on. And most of the time I hear things like “Oh I wish I could do that, but I just don’t have the dedication.” Or “Oh I always wanted to write a novel, maybe I’ll give it a try now” or “Oh me too! What writing software do you use?”

I know this was a long answer but I wanted to try and ensure I was actually helpful! Please always feel free to reach out if you have other questions, or if you ever just need another reminder that there is nothing immature or cringey about wanting to write in your free time.

[maddestmewmew]

there should be a horror game abt amnesia. but like actually abt amnesia, not the horror game amnesia.

like. idk the one moment in dr who where its like “how many doors are in your house?” and amys like “8. i know its 8.” and hes like “count them. actually count them.” and theres an extra room. the horror is intended to be supernatural there, with the extra room being alien shit. but that concept of “i remember my house being This Way and i am So Sure of it being This Way and someone just lets it slip that its not.”

famously PT is one of my favorite horror games, and also one of Everyones favorite horror game. but again, the horror there is supernatural in nature. but with the alternative context of severe memory loss, it could become a game about your house being just Slightly different every time you walk around. you KNOW its different, and youve walked througu this house 1000 times, and its fucking scary that you dont remember changing anything, or even how it was before, but its Different.

and then like. this is silly but the finale of ok ko always FUCKED with me. tdlr the finale involves the titular character, KO, constantly finding himself in completely different situations despite not remembering how he got there and when. it was a metaphor for growing up, but that is kind of my literal expirience, and its SCARY. im washing the dishes and suddenly im at the mall.

idk this post is dumb. but i feel like u could do a very good horror abt amnesia.

[iamfabiloz]

this is uhh not a drawing request sorry!! BUT if you’d like to i’d love to hear more about Nathan!! idk if there’s a story there or not but 👀👀

DW ITS TOTALLY FINE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY OCS OMGEE!! :] TY FOR ASKING DUDE!!

And YAHH nathan has a whole backstory and unnamed oc storyline thing with a bunch of other characters tho da whole thing is still very much a big wip KWJWJ

Nathans main thing is that he a librarian dude living with his gf Felicity!! They is da best couple ever very healthy and I love them to bits nathan thinks felicity is da WHOLE WORLDD below is him being absolutely smitten!! :] both of their refs r here

He also has two siblings!! His older sister Ramona and his younger brother Beatrice!! :3

their mom died in a car crash when they was kids so it made Ramona take on the role of single parent bc of reasons so she’s rlly fussy, overprotective and like a helicopter parent which annoyed Nathan to no end 😨 Beatrice moved out, leaving Ramona to cling to the only sib living with her at the time. But that kinda backfired bc Nathan got sick of being treated like a teen even tho he’s like 27 years old so he moved in with Felicity leaving Ramona to deal with her empty nest syndrome and trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms 😨 this def will end well !!

Beatrice chillin in the bg btw he’s living his best life in da country somewhere!! He is the least emotional distraught out of everyone 😭 HELP

Also here’s a silly meme drawing I did based off a tiktok screenshot, the user beinf mean to Nathan is Melissa (Ramona’s kindaaa ‘friend’) Nathan and her have beef bc Melissa is using Ramona :[ Nathan and Melissa got into a fight bc of that but also they already didn’t like eachother b4 hand 😭

ANDD Some concepts of da sibling trio r below!! Ramona and Beatrice don’t got full refs yet but soonnn (Nathan is duller colors bc I’m thinking of making his purple ness be hair dye maybe but also being born as purple guy is funny)

Uh hmm I don’t wanna ramble for too long but tdlr Nathan has a gf, family issues, and other stuff but then I’d be here explaining too much KWHJW

TY FOR ASKING AGAIN I rlly like talking abt my silly dudes

[meili-sheep]

so i've seen this theory that is allegedly going to be confirmed in 3.4 Basically it says that al haitham cannot feel any emotions bc he is the sole survivor/successful case of the greyscale elezar experiments run by dottore and it basically lobotomised him so he doesnt feel emotions and thats why he wants to live a quiet life as a scribe. I say a lot of kaveh/al haitham shippers talking about this on twitter as some kind of win bc aww al haitham let kaveh enter his super controlled life ect ect. 1. idk if this is an outlandish theory that has no chance of becoming canon bc i dont really have a good gage for that kind of thing so if im falling for the bait im sorry 2. I can kind of understand it for story reasons as it makes for a compelling relationship between al haitham and dottore and by extension the akademyia for allowing dottore back BUT 3. I feel really sad bc it means all that autistic coding was a concious effort to make the character LITERally unfeeling. It means all those traits I recognised in myself and in him are the result of him missing something, being less, ect. and it kinda hurts. Like obvs i never expected hoyo to come out and make him autistic in canon but it just feels like another autistic coded character that is coded that way because they are missing something fundamentally human. Whether thats an android, alien, puppet ect. Idk you are one of the few people on here ive seen talk about al haitham being autistic coded so i wanted to get your thoughts -@under-wcrlds

ahahahahahha

Yeah. (Genshin talk start at paragraph 4)

I've actually mentioned in a previous post that I don't want Al Haitham to be any kind of inhuman character because he's so humanity autistic. Like in particular, he feels a lot like my brand of autism. Because here is the thing. I'm not academically gifted. But I'm incredible with patterns. I'm very good at seeing the patterns of life and being able to predict on only people's responses but emotional responses without knowing them. And I have the same goals as Al Haitham. I want to live a simple and comfy life. Do no more work than needed, and then do what interests me. I have also turned down big leadership positions because that's not what I want to do.

And guess what. I'm a real fucking person. Yeah, I've been through some shit. But that didn't make me this way, and everyone goes through it at one point or another.

But I've always been like this. Fuck, my mom had me (at a young age) start packing the car on trips because I could just see where everything was supposed to be. I was never one who could express my emotions well. I still struggle with that, and I feel a lot of the time, I come across as a know-it-all? And attention-hogging because I just talk in a sort of weird antidotal way.

This also makes me a good storyteller because I can give a more natural flow of events. So let me country why I don't think this theory is gonna be correct.

in the 3.2 stories. Al Haitham did say he understands and knows the importance of emotions and makes it clear that he's not really the type who is good a motivating people through emotion. Never did he make any reference to not being able to feel them. Fuck I'd argue he'd have to have them to understand what the mad Scholars were feeling to imitate them as well as he did.

Also, there isn't really a reason to re-pick up the elezar plotline, as it has been pretty solidly dealt with. Like it's gone, there's no reason to look more into it. We know what causes it and what cured it. Like if they are to bring Dottore up again, it will be for another story and another experiment. Also, Dottore isn't the type to pick up something again once his interest in it is gone. Heck, look at Scaramouch. Plus, Dottore had Collie. Like that's confirmed. And seemingly, Dottore knew how to keep elezar at bay. So there wouldn't be much reason for him to expand experimentation. Let long a reason to make someone stop feeling emotions.

The TDLR is that there really wouldn't be many benefits for Dottore if this was the case, and that feels outta character. Also, we don't know Al Haitham's timeline, just that he graduated, which apparently is really hard to do and takes a lot of time.

And a point that's just hit me.

LISA WANTS TO LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE. And She's objectively waaaaaay smarter than Al Haitham is. So again, it's not a good reason?

Idk man. I'm a little heated under the collar because I HATE when people try and make an autistic-coded character nonhuman. Because I'm a human.