#again dont want to sound like im vaguing anyone i actually know i would be okay reconnecting with

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[ganondoodle]

you know, i had a totk thought (uh oh)

soemthign thats really bothering me about the whole "actually, ganondorf didnt like the guy appearing out of nowhere marrying a hylian and just saying yep das our kingdom now and we can mine it barren under your nose and also i got laserbeam pebbles that i totally wont ever use on anyone come join me or die just bc of all of that but mainly bc the guy brought some weird tech with him that he dont like" - thing is that ......... we see almost not a single tech thing in the past (and for that matter see nothing of the oh so perfect and peaceful paradise hyrule was before big evil desert man didnt want to join our paradise- like what is the point about making the whole point of the game be -we need to restore hyrule to this paradise it once was- when you dont even see it or get to care about anything of it)

it might sound like a weird hangup but no really, the most we see is like two servant constructs, thats it, when they 'prepare for war' im pretty sure all you see is some lightly dressed ( ... is it just me or does their whole get up look alot like native american/other indingenous people too ... i still dont know how to feel about that- kinda adjacent to some of the sonau armor, the battery one i think??, also having that look...) hylians with spears, where the heck is all that tech?? is it implied to be all down in the mines hollowing out the underground (for no real reason either bc .... theres only two sonau left and no one else seems to want use nor need the tech otherwise there should have been more traces or soemthing left of it -unless it all just magically appeared out of nowhere in mostly prime condition while all shiekah tech jsut vaporized for bs non reasons just for it to be in tha game but oh dont you see its always been there lmao- so whats the point really????)

or up in the sky as most battle constructs are and they cant get them down in time bc *gestures vaguely*

or is it intentionally kept out of view bc idk seeing an army of robots on raurus side he can send out on a whim might not make him look as oh so good and perfect as they want him to look when he already got laserbeam pebbles (most of which hes been hoarding until ONE falls into hands not under his control) ?? like it just ... feels weird?? so many battle constructs that can even be a threat to link are jsut fully functioning strolling around in the present still, why wouldnt you want to use any of them to battle gan and if they DID why wouldnt you show that (no the 3 second unicorn cutscene doesnt count bc its just .. gan and his monsters isnt it) ?? (also ... why isnt there a big like battle ground , like fine you dont have to animate an army of monsters and robots clashing but... wouldnt it be cool to have you discover a giant flat plain in the underground (that magically got put under ground like gan just decided to stroll down there to get sealed lol) and its the only mostly empty field in the game littered with thousands of monster bones and dead constructs intermingled?? just to give it all a bit of weight?? evidence that it happened?? cool ass discovery????)

(also also i cannot let go of ganondorf apparently being sooooo anti tech but then clamgan uses the shiekah stuff??? shouldnt he also be against that then or is that suddendly fine bc- oh woops sorry, forgot clamgan is actually just something, not connected to gan at all actually, i mean why else would miasma turn into malice only to turn into miasma again haha none of that is connected actually what is a calamity anyway? also im sorry to bring this up again but i just cannot let go of the ppl in the present being so obsessed with using sonau tech in every part of their life now- they just lived through an apocalypse of a barely understood strange tech but CLEARLY this other even less understood strang tech is not dangerous at all lets make CARS OUT OF IT and what theres no danger in miasma and that tech existing at the same time LIKE SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE THAT IDK SEEMS LIKE A BAD COMBO--- oh sorry forgot that ceased to exist in both the world and peoples minds for *gestures vaguely* plot reasons- why why why are monsters mining the sonanium?? they dont even work with the yiga no that is also completely disconnected we dont wanna draw and interesting connections after all- whats the point if it means nothing but to be a loot box for the player-- actually, so much of totk is just a so built around throwing you into a box of toys with no substance to it- listen i know games are kinda like toys but if it doesnt make sense and offers you nothing interesting to think about even slightly whAT IS THE POINT)

[aayakashii]

I'm going through the Sinostra chapter right now and I can't stop making theories omg there might be spoilers below so be careful, although I'm just enumerating my questions tbh lol

According to one of Taiga's home screen dialogs, there might be some sort of time loop happening which he's KINDA aware of? Or maybe just aware when triggered somehow.

He said "long time no see! You decide to ditch this future too? Sorry I'm not dead yet" which is INCREDIBLY ooc as to how he behaves during the story which leads me to

His extreme memory loss, which apparently lasts less than 24 hours. Why is that? Did he go through so many time loops that it started affecting his memory? There was one small moment in which he remembered Ritsu because he saw the MC face though...

The Clash. What the fuck was it

What's Taiga relationship to Haru? Haru sounds eerily nonchalant regarding Taiga even though the man keeps on threatening Peekaboo. And aftewards, Rui briefly mentions that Taiga has a "destroying what others hold dear" schtick, which leads me to believe that Taiga is seeking revenge for losing something important maybe???? Is the fanfic brainrot too big rn

WHY DOES HE HATE LIKE DOVES??????? I dont wanna go full romantic mode, but is he just resentful of seeing a bird that is the physical representation of someone else's feelings or something......

The spy. Honestly no idea. There's some theories floating around that Haku is the spy, but I would rather see him during the Hotarubi episode before jumping to conclusions, but it's understandable how people might think that I guess...? He IS very nice and helpful and randomly finding the MC fleeing by train was way too much of a coincidence... he does seem to always tie the MC to Darkwick somehow, firstly by KIDNAPPING her and then by talking her into staying. If the MC is the trigger to a bigger event, then one could see that as suspicious. But I would like a bit more evidence first lol

Back to Taiga, why is he. Like why

Okay no but seriously. If we take the timeloop thing seriously + Haku being a spy, here's the theory:

Taiga knows the MC is the trigger for an awful event and tried killing them back in the Prologue in order to cut the problem on its roots. Haku, if we consider him as the spy, WANTS the event to happen (considering he could also be aware of the loop), which is why he saved us and took us to Darkwick, therefore letting it all play out once again.

If Haku isn't the spy, then we would have to chalk it up as Taiga knowing and trying to kill us, but destiny (???) being a bitch, therefore putting Haku there as a pawn to make things play out again

Maybe the spy can control other ghouls? Who know tbh

Finally, what is going on during the first scene we see in the game? Darkwick on fire and the first character we choose jumping off of the building? I wonder what would happen if we choose Taiga as our first card....... maybe I should create a sub acc

Anyway if anyone has more questions/theories PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY IM OBSESSED WITH THIS GAME I NEED TO THINK ABT IT

There is also a good theory on reddit made by u/imonlybr16 that states this:

"Before the prologue, when you open the game for the first time, you're greeted with the opening scene involving MC running through the halls of a ruined Darkwick. The question is asked "When the world is collapsing around you, whose hand will you take?"

There you're taken to your character choice screen. The guy you choose is later shown on the railing of a balcony, about to jump off.

Now I think I have a very far fetched and vague idea as to what is going on.

In chapter 2, we learn that the person that Alan killed was Dante or at least he thought he did. But we meet Dante and he's very much alive.

This comes theory number one.

***You can't actually die on campus.***

Note the use of actually here. You can 100% still die, you just end up coming back to life.

If Rui is your home screen he talks about accidentally killing someone else in his dorm and being annoyed with having to lift them back to Obscuary. This struck me as a particularly odd dialogue because Rui's curse causes people to die.

Unless, you can't die on campus.

This would explain Dante pretty much instantly. Yes Alan killed him but yes he's alive.

The campus itself is an anomaly, stopping people from dying doesn't sound too far fetched. I expect this to be revealed with the other two members of Obscuary, as that dorm seems to have a connection to death. One of the things that always pops up is that ghouls aren't immortal, no matter how quickly they heal.

Also explains how Calamari didn't die in chapter 3. Ren ran from the dorm > the caves > the jetty and Calamari was already pretty dehydrated in the beginning.

But OP you might say, aren't all the guys talking like they believe they're going to die.

Luckily, that brings us to vauge and far fetched theory number two.

***The campus is on fire due to a rebellion***

In the very last chapter of the prologue we get to see Kaito's wickhive. There we see three pretty interesting threads.

. There's gonna be an uprising soon

. One of you is a demon

. There's a guy who could see the future

Kaito is surprised at something he sees in this scene but we don't learn what it is. This chapter's 'preview' is one of the scenes we see in the very beginning. Blood and a Lily.

I believe that the first thread is foreshadowing and will . After you meet your chosen guy standing on the railing you get a line of dialogue (or not if you picked Towa) that changes depending on who you picked. Some imply that what they're doing is going to save you(Jiro, Zenji and Sho), some apologize stating that they could protect what they cared about until the very end (Luca,Kaito,Haru and Yuri) but three characters caught my attention

Leo: Life sucks and then you die,right? I just want to make the assholes responsible regret it.

Ren: This is exactly why I didn't to do this! I knew this was how it was going to end.

Subaru: This is all my fault. I don't expect you to forgive me, but this is the least I can do. Please take this as my final act of good faith.

Especially Subaru's and Ren's, that seemingly imply either the MC's (Ren's) or their (Subaru) involvement in the current situation. Now what does this has to do with a potential uprising?

One of the things we learn from the very beginning is the inter-politics of the houses and by extension the ghouls. Especially after the fallout of the clash. Things are pretty tense and an uprising or rebellion seems to be the most likely thing.

As to what happened and why? I have no clue. Though one thing to note is that according to the prophecy, as long as the ghouls are in Darkwick, they prevent a disaster from coming. If Darkwick is destroyed however, the prophecy can't be fulfilled, or can it?"

This is such a good theory too, I really think u/imonlybr16 has probably gotten a lot of things right.

Although it's weird that death is such a big threat to us specifically, but maybe the Academy can't prevent death by curses, much like the Mesmer Matches dont work on someone who's cursed. Hhmm...

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey, cas

so, i kind of wanted to rant a bit, but theres a few things in here i know could get people riled up so honestly im a little nervous sharing this. i also want to preface it by saying that i am NOT hating on any fics i name here, they are just well-known examples and fics that the fandom hold close

as a fic writer myself, i love adding my own little headcanons to characters. sometimes theyre hcs ive seen from someone else and loved, and other times ive thought of them myself. in the latter case, ill often then see that someone else thought of it too, which is really cool!

but then there comes the hcs that people see and think "oh! thats from x fic!" for example, if you bring up dyslexic remus to most marauders fans, theyre gonna talk about atyd. ive never read the fic myself, its not my taste, but ive heard a lot of things about it and it does honestly sound like a great fic so genuinely no hate towards it. but i hc remus as dyslexic and i did so before learning that atyd has dyslexic remus, and any time i consider putting that hc into one of my fics all i can think about is that people will see it and talk about atyd. maybe theyll say i was copying or stole the idea. maybe theyll compare the two and decide the way i depict it isnt as good. maybe ill end up accidentally using a similar or the same thing for remus to have aiding him, for example a spell or something one of his friends do, and ill be told im plagiarising, and i absolutely hate that.

another example is best friends brother. its such a well known fic in the fandom that anyone who writes anything similar is going to be compared to it. or crimson rivers; anyone who writes a hunger games au (even if its not even remotely similar to cr) is going to be told theyre trying to copy. i love both bfb and cr but i wish people could accept that two writers can have the same idea without copying or trying to recreate/steal it

one of my current ongoing fics has the same central trope as another big fic in the fandom (i dont want to reveal which, because i dont want to risk being de-anoned) and i went out of my way to avoid reading the big fandom fic until ive finished writing my own because im so terrified that if theres even a single vague similarity i might get called out and told im copying

i want to say im just being paranoid, but i cant. i hate that the fandom has come to the point where authors have to bring something out that absolutely noone has ever done before ever just so that they dont get told theyve taken the idea from someone else. even if they had, its perfectly normal and fine to be inspired by an idea to make it your own! obviously actual plagiarism is not okay and should be called out, but theres a difference between plagiarism and just having a similar idea or hc

going back to my original point (because this was where my frustrations with this started) i hate that dyslexic remus will always be seen as an atyd thing, when it isnt. again, no hate to the fic or the author, this isnt an attack on them at all, its just unfortunate that the fandom has kind of taken it so much as canon that anything will always be compared to it, if that makes sense?

tldr: let me have dyslexic remus without telling me im copying atyd! let me have him use magic or have his friends do little things to help him without telling me i stole it from atyd!

sorry about that cas haha, i realise its a bit long. it just really really frustrates me to no end, yknow?

Hi!

Yes, I can definitely see what you're saying. I think if something is inspired by another fic (i.e. you read CR and then you're like...oh, I wanna write a Hunger Games AU) it's good to give credit where it's due by saying "inspired by x." But in a fandom with thousands of fics, the same ideas are bound to come up even without having read other fics. If people accuse you of copying and you genuinely haven't, I would just let them yell. People are always going to have negative things to say, you know?

[omnitricks]

felt like posting 'i wanna go out with a girl!!' but that wasnt right so i tried adding 'again' to the end but that seems to vague cause i dont wanna go out with just any girl there's, like, three girls I know that i would want to go out with but saying 'i wanna go out with three girls' would either imply i want to have three concurrent relationships with three different girls (which is okay but i dont think i have the emotional bandwidth for that) or i want to go on a date with three women at the same time (which does sound nice, i would like three distinct individuals to pay attention to me but it does seem very lopsided and I don't think I'd be able to give them all the proper care on the date) because what i really mean is 'at the moment i feel a strong desire to approach one of three lady-aligned individuals i know and say 'hey, i like being close to you in the physical space, do you want to go do something with me?' with the actual romantic nature of it pretty nebulous tbh because im chill and dont think its really necessary cause im not necessarily looking for another 'girlfriend' but i do like having some vague nebulous 'thing' with a bunch of different people that mostly amounts to being close physically and kissing and maybe fucking but the last bit isnt really necessary i just like having a solid place in their lives then go do that thing with her. but that's really wordy. one of the many failings of the english language!

does anyone want to hang

[withonly-sweetheart]

Hello, sweetie!! (I'll go by mint anon.) I hope you're having a great day! :) [apologies for my shitty English- its my third lang] I've been reading your work for a while and I love you and the fics you write!! (sending you a hug, I read that you were raised w abandonment issues, and I cried reading that piece, you're so sweet... :( Ily, I hope you know you're a shinning star and make me smile with your work, so, thank you for existing!) Well, I'd like to request a fic, where Leon is a little bird like creature (who can become human), who comes by reader's window often, after reader did a good deed for the bird (like giving it berries from her garden or maybe nursing its injury??) Maybe Leon knows reader in his human? (idk, you could do whatever you think would go with the story) Ig Leon falls in love with reader as time passes and he keeps visiting her place and later he spends time w/ reader irl and reader falls in love w leon as well???--- sorry its so long :/

I hope my request isn't too vague or too limiting either (if that makes sense) I get how this req may sound really cringe and you should totally ignore this if you dont like it.

this is my first time requesting anything from anyone so im a little nervous :)

If you do write this, PLEASE feel free to change the story as you wish! (---pleaseeee)

ILYYY SWEETIEEE (Big fat smoochhh)

-mint anon🍀

OMG YOU DONT KNOW HONORED I AM?? FIRST OF ALL IM SO GLAD U CAME IN AND SAID THAT IM SO HAPPY I MAKE U SMILE? TODAYS BEEN A SHITTY DAY SO SEEING THIS WAS ACTUALLY SO AMAZING ILYSM MINT ANON 😍😍😍😍 ALSO UR FIRST REQUEST IS ME AHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHH THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! TYSM!!

and ONGG THIS IDEA IS SO GOODDD LITERALLY I FEEL LIKE I RUSHED IT A LOT BUT LIKE HONESTLY? IM SO DONE WITH SLOWBURN LIKEEEE UHMMMM

(ALSO ITS NOT ME IF ITS NOT ANGST HEHEHEHEH)

HERES THE LINK 

DO YOU WANT A PART TWO? I MEAN I THINK I COULD WRITE ONE BUT IDK WHATEVER YOU WANT IM GOOD WITH!

LYSM AND DONT BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT AGAIN FOR ANOTHER REQUEST!! HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS ONE HEHEHEHE

[urbearfriend]

bro having ex friends is crazy these people come off with a completely different energy, texting/talking style and appearance ... good for them, it’s just really strange

[amaranthdahlia]

because "you're my hero" outro song is deku's feelings about bakugou, while "shout baby" outro song is deku and bakugou's feelings about eachother and their relationship.

While not actually confirmed unlike you're my hero , shout baby's lyrics suspiciously sounds ao much like its about bkdk's relationship lol

(Incoming shitty and messy explanation but i just wanted to point it out haha)

(So like, i just suggest listening to the song and have bkdk in mind wkdkwl and like the song is so fucking good)

●

Nothing seems to stay the same (dk and bkg's relationship?)

Your hair, the way you smell

The way we struggled when we learned to dance so long ago

All of these times, they're stuck deep in my memory

Only to sink into silence, never heard again (like how we dont get to see alot of their childhood moments?)

Since when,

Was I able to tolerate more like this.

Since childhood, people have been telling me I am such a cry baby (literally screams deku)

Keep it a secret (dk relying the OFA secret to bkg?)

What a cruel phrase

My scream is getting scratched out

A typical future, yet so far away (dk becoming a full fledged hero by mastering ofa, or maybe them becoming friends again?)

It won't reach to that person

Where should I go?

I don't know, so I simply cling to it

Admiration that can take away

The worries from everyday It won't disappear (deku admires bakugou and he knows he's strong and capable but he would always worry and look out for him)

I wanted to keep protecting our fragile connection (do i even need to explain cus holy shit this line is what completely sold me)

 If I were to keep it locked away

It would be as if it isn't there

But do you know

that it's not so small that I can forget it?

So when the sun comes up I know what to do

I must put on my strongest face,

Because that's all I could have done

I am a bit confused since I have never been this way (putting both colors cus both verses could be referred to both of them, bc one it can b about dk bc uhhh dk, [see i told yall i suck at this] and the other thing it could b about bkg referring to his guilt about all might? And the fact that the you're next scene happened during a SUNRISE)

You are in my heart completely (???)

I don't know what to do

I didn't want to learn

I wish I had done it differently (bakugou regretting not taking deku's hand)

It's so fragile

I wanted to deny myself (bakugou not wanting to acknowledge his weaknesses)

Like I was doing something wrong

I was disappointed in myself (bakugou realizing his assholery)

But everything is so new to me (the way bakugou perceived the world was turned upside down for him)

I can tell without asking anyone

You wont bring me happiness

But there is something else

that you have given me (his heroic heart and instict?)

●

I wish i could decipher some lyrics and connect it with canon material but unfortunately im not an ultimate bkdk expert so i dont have many receipts so if anyone wants to go ahead PLEASE i would love to read it

(ALSO this is NOT the entire song, i removed some lyrics so i suggest looking up the entire song if you want to see the full gist of its ktdkness)

AGAIN this is pure speculation and interpretation, since i think this song is broad and vague and most likely not related to bkdk in the show (that its a bit of a stretched allegory?). I distanced some lines from the other when it was supposed to be connected and mean something else.

so yeah this is defs bit of overanalysis ykno

Anyways yea the only reason i said this is bkdks song is bc i got ALOT of bkdk vibes from the it, period.

haha doesnt help they showed us this sequence at the end of the song/outro (and it happens in a sunset lol) :

[strawhatsweets]

golden

Kenma x GN!reader

Im trying to stray away from my comfort zone of just writing readers that use she/her so bear with me

sorry if this lowkey sucks but it was inspired by harry styles song golden

cw: big cursing, huge fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, aged up!

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in!

Requests are open!!

-------------------------------------

Being a streamer comes with perks. Being comfy at home, not having to face people in real life every day, playing games, typical shit. Another perk is making good friends.

Meeting people on a voice chat is common for Kenma -guys and gals alike. What he wasnt expecting one night was the sweetest voice on the other end of his headphones.

"You're all fucks- I'm better at this game than all of you combined. Try me."

To think that was the sentence that made Kenma's ears perk up and burn.

"What the hell ever- we have the great Kodzuken on our side." One of the guys said, half joking half dead serious.

"Oh yeah, he isn't even speaking up to defend your pussy asses- probably knows I could beat him too." You could hear the smirk in that last part.

"U-uh, no. You can't beat me. Nobody can actually. Not at this game." Kenma rebutted , confident in his gaming skills but not so much his speaking skills to this stranger.

"Oh man, you certainly sound confident. Come on, Kodzuken- 1v1 me then. Show me who the best really is."

Kenma suddenly felt nervous. Should he really demolish this stranger? Isn't it polite to let the person you like win? He didn't like this person yet but god their voice was attractive.

"Fine. Send the request." He decided.

"Sent, fucker."

The game resulted in a tie because this stranger actually knew what they were doing. They both threw friendly insults at each other the whole time of course, making each of them laugh a little.

"Okay fine. The great Kodzuken himself almost beat me. Im almost honored to have a great streamer almost beat me."

"Well you almost beat me too- uh-" Kenma stuttered over the fact that he didn't know how to address this stranger.

"Oh! Call me Y/n." The person giggled.

"You can uh, call me Kenma."

"Oh you don't want me to repeat your title over and over like everyone else?" They laughed.

"No, friends don't call me that. They use my name name." His ears were burning.

"Friends, huh? Guess that means you owe me your number so we can schedule a rematch where I can properly beat your ass."

"Huh, guess so."

A few months had gone by and Y/n and Kenma were as close as they could be. They found out they live close by each other and began hanging out a lot.

Y/n would be in the back of his streams on occasion and wouldn't hesitate to speak up during them. Thats the thing about Y/n. They've always been so outspoken. Since the start. Everything they talk about comes so easy to Y/n. Nothing is held back. Kenma knows everything about them. He on the other hand is still a bit closed off. Quiet. The two are so opposite yet so alike. Kenma doesn't speak much about himself, opting to listen.

Especially when talking about past relationships.

One night, they were sat in Kenmas room in separate chairs, letting conversations flow.

"So, you've dated but why have the relationships ended?" Y/n asked.

"Ah, I dont know- its not important. Why did yours end?" Kenma flipped the question as he always does.

"One guy cheated," Y/n tossed a piece of popcorn in the air, missing their mouth and brushing it off. "One girl left because she was leaving for school, and one guy just didn't mesh with me. Your turn." Y/n pushed the question back.

"Uh- well. I don't click with people easily. I'm pretty closed off so when I date it usually ends in hurt feelings by accident or they get sick of me." Kenma finally admitted.

"Huh." Y/n flopped onto their stomach on the bed after setting down the popcorn. "Don't you like anyone though? Like- if you liked someone enough, do you think you would give opening up a shot?"

"I mean I guess. Nobody ever takes the time to...pry me open." That got a laugh out of Y/n. Good. "But yeah I do like someone."

Sitting up suddenly, Y/n became visibly excited.

"TELL ME WHO."

"No god no- it isnt important." Kenmas ears burned again.

"Come onnnnn. Its gotta be someone big time cool to earn your heart. I have to approve."

Y/n pulled Kenma from his chair to the bed, not letting go of his hand as he sat down.

"Theyre very cool- and very sweet. Understanding. Someone who stands up for me and makes me comfortable-" Kenma began gushing.

"Do I know them?" Y/n interrupted.

"Y-yeah. You sure do." Kenma scratched the back of his neck.

"Oooh ok, a guessing game. Describe them more- their looks!" Y/n held his hand tighter, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Well- ok." Kenma took a deep breath and decided he could be vague enough. "Theyre short. As short if not shorter than me. Competitive. Very cute smile-"

"TOO VAGUE give me the JUICY DETAILS" Y/n pushed.

"They uh- they have..pretty eyes." He was staring at this point, eyes wandering around Y/ns face to find more things to describe. "cute nose too I guess. Squishy cheeks. Glasse-"

"WHO THE HELL IS IT KENMA- its starting to sound like youre describing me." Y/n laughed.

"No- I'm totally not!" Kenma rushed.

"Tell this person you like them. You look so happy when you talk about them. Its kind of sickening."

"I can't just do that." Kenma stated flatly.

"Yeah you can."

"No-"

"DO ITTTT. Nothing to be scared of- it's CUTE. They would be dumb to not like you."

Kenma sighed, knowing he couldn't tell Y/n the truth about who he liked. What does he usually do when he's put in a corner like this? Oh thats right-

"Who do you like then Y/n?" He asked, proud of himself for deflecting again.

"Oh thats easy. You." Y/n said, letting go of his hand and laying back on the bed, leaving Kenma sitting up and stunned.

"What? No I mean a crush idiot. Who do you liiikkkeee?" Kenma pushed, hoping he didn't hear Y/n wrong.

"You, Kenma. I've had a crush since our first tie in a game. Thought that was obvious-"

Kenma flopped back on the bed as well. The both of them looking at each other.

"Oh. My person is uh... really... open and honest." Kenma said quietly.

"Is that why you wont tell them?" Y/n asked just as hushed.

"Yeah... what if right now they say yes but then their feelings change one day? That would hurt so bad. Worse than not telling them ever." He whispered.

There was silence. They knew what they both just admitted. Kenmas heart started racing. This might've fucked everything up. He might lose them. But they like him too so why is he so scared?

Y/n held his hand again.

"I know that youre scared because I'm so open...but hey... If you wanna give it a try..." Y/n whispered, scared about whether or not their honesty fucked them over.

"You might be right this time Y/n." Kenma whispered.

The space between them was closed due to both of them being drawn together like magnets in that moment. A sweet kiss.

"Let's try it then. I'll work on... being more open if you'd like." Kenma said.

"Kenma. I dont want you to change one bit. I like you the way you are."

Acceptance. It was the best thing Kenma has ever felt.

[siennamain]

its not enough to write pages on my diary, i need to be seen^tm

i feel so fucking insane and like a child,,, this all sound so ridiculous and im such a fucking mess. i have no idea what the fuck is truly going on inside my mind.

and it starts in such a fucking small place,,,

but basically, there's gonna be a theatre in my uni city that im so hyped to see, so i went to my friends from there group chat to ask them if anyone wanted to come.

a friend replied that i should invite my crush. another friend agreed. i told them I'd try to see if he was interested monday, and the second friend said she wasn't sure he'd come monday (fair enough, the guy skips classes frequently) she made a joke about how i should show up to his house, followed by her realization that they lived together (in the students dorms, which makes that a stretch).

i forgot the students dorms cuz the way she worded it made me think it was an apartment, and said we (2nd friend and i) could make dinner together and invite him in, since he's in the same place. after some confusing back and fort realized the students dorm thing and also that no dinner would be happening cuz,,,, students dorms

but anyway, i said it wouldn't be happening, it'd be weird to invite him to dinner to try and invite him to go see a theater (something I'd also llve doing with him completely platonically) that friend said something about how how i should try it anyway cuz I'm going nowhere with this and that stuck such a nerve.

and it's not her fault, i haven't gotten close enough to my uni friends to tell them about my issues. but holy fucking shit. i know im not doing shit. i hate it but i was so proud of myself for actually just talking to him more.

like, me going to him monday, to just fucking mention the theater, and vaguely invite him to go with me is already going to be so fucking brave of me. that's gonna require so much fucking vulnerability already.

but then, i dont even fucking know if these are just wounds from the past or me being a fucking coward who can't take rejection.

like, I'm so hyper aware of this middle school social hierarchy, where he's so so much above me. (and i feel so fucking immature for this) but he's just so beautiful, and smart, and skilled and he just charms people so effortlessly. and he deserves someone without all this baggage. like, what the fuck have i got to give that would at least balance the scales? i have no idea. but there are so many people who are similar to me without all my problems.

but holy shit, am i not dehumanizing him in some way? to self-flagelate? he deserves better than that.

what my uni friends don't get is that i need to be his friend first (and want! i want to be his friend too). i cant imagine a world where someone could feel what i feel for him for me, in such a "spontaneous" way, without knowing me deeply first. least of all someone like him.

and it does sound like im putting him on a pedestal, but he's so fucking well liked, and again, so fucking pretty.

with that face alone, hes the kind of guy to date a girl who doesn't use makeup, because her skin is already just completely perfect, and doesn't do plastics, but her face looks like a sculpture. i don't do either of those things, because i dont need it, sure, nobody does, but my skin has breakouts and i see flaws that could be fixed goin under the knife.

and if i invited him, and he answered that he wasn't in the mood/was too busy/whatever, would i give up "chasing" him? blame it on him not knowing me enough to want to hang out? would i insist, keep insisting, until he had no choice but to scream at my face he's not interested?

am i that kind of monster?

i dont want to hurt him, i truly dont. i dont want my insecurities and past etc to hurt someone else.

i dont want to humiliate myself either. i feel like all my desires end up just humiliating me. never fucking satisfied.

and i feel like a coward, and a freak that's willing to hurt someone just to play out her fantasies.

and i feel like all of this is a show im putting on, a pity party, idk what for.

I'm having a miserable time :))))

[tangledstarlight]

oh all of this silence and patience (oh im pining in anticipation)

listen it’s still august in some timezones so this totally counts as posting something in august okay? okay! i hope people like this, it took me far too long to finish, but also special shoutout to the wonderful @ourstarscollided​ who really helped me with the whole first section of this fic, without her i truly would still be working on it, so thank you eunice, you’re the best!💜 okay enjoy! 

the first firefighter!luke fic for anyone who wants to read that first, though it can be read alone: ao3 / tumblr

also on ao3!

lil disclaimer: i’m still not a firefighter and i also know that they dont use fire poles anymore but lets just ✨pretend✨ for the visual okay. this takes place between part 4 and 5 in the original fic!

trigger warnings! lots of swearing, implied sexual content.

RATED T –– there’s no graphic scenes but there’s a lot of kissing and fading to black, so rating might change if anyone needs me to 😬

Word count: 6,072

“Look who it is!”

Julie feels a grin pull up on the corners of her mouth as she spots Luke’s station captain coming around the end of one of the fire trucks Julie is walking between, sending her a wave of the clipboard she’s holding. “You’re here early.”

“Yeah, class ended early and I thought I'd pop over to see if I could get some extra time with Luke,” Julie shrugs, holding up the pale grey burlap bag that Alex had packed their food into.

And there’s a sympathetic look that crosses over Harrison’s face, because she knows that the younger woman knows she’s in charge of Luke’s shifts and the reason why Julie comes over every Tuesday to have lunch with her boyfriend.

Because that’s why she was here. To have lunch with him like she did every Tuesday between her classes and when the fires of LA would allow. Sometimes Alex would text her to stop by to pick up a packed lunch for them, sometimes she made something herself, sometimes they just ordered in. The food wasn’t really the point, it was just getting to spend some time together. Julie had never really thought about it before, but there was always something, someone, somewhere, trapped or hurt or on fire. Luke was a very busy person, and it meant sometimes their lunches got interrupted by blaring alarms and him pressing a quick kiss to her lips before rushing off.

Tuesdays were apparently very busy days for a firefighter.

“What’s the master chef prepared for you this week then?” Harrison asks, crossing her arms and clipboard across her chest and lifting one brow, “Y’know Alex used to cook for us, he’d send Luke in every Saturday he was on shift with all sorts of goodies.”

Julie bites her lip to try not to laugh at the exaggerated sigh that leaves the older woman's lips as she shakes her head sadly. There was something about Vivian Harrison that just— put people at ease. The first time Julie had officially met her there had been a warm hug and teasing remarks and there was just something that had viscerally reminding Julie of her aunt Victoria that it was kind of impossible not to like the station captain after that.

“He was pretty busy so it’s just some sandwiches,” she wrinkles her nose a little before smiling, “I’ll tell him how much you’re missing his cooking though, I’m sure the blame will fall completely on Luke.”

Harrison laughs, and tilts her head slightly as she shrugs, “That boy of yours is just very easy to blame.”

She feels a sudden flush to her cheeks at ‘that boy of yours’ that she hopes can be played off by how warm it always is in the station. She can see Harrison’s lips twitching, like she’s about to say something teasing, but Julie is saved from it by two people walking past them and a change of mind.

“Morales, can you tell Patterson his lunch is here.”

“Sure thing Cap,” one of the guys says, shooting her a wide smile that Julie feels compelled to return quickly before he’s rushing off, past the fire engines and up some stairs. And Julie’s about to ask Harrison if they’ve been busy today and if she’d found time to visit the farmers market they’d talked about last time, but another voice interrupts, and Julie hadn’t even realised the other guy hadn’t followed his friend.

“So you’re Patterson’s girl, right?” The blonde asks, eyes scanning her up and down in a way that makes her want to hide behind someone. There’s something vaguely familiar about him, probably because she’s seen him in passing for the last couple of months but never talked to him. Which wouldn’t have been weird if most of the other people in the station hadn’t introduced themselves the first time Luke had invited her to one of their station parties, and made an effort to talk to her whenever she'd stopped by since.

“Yeah, I’m Julie,” she smiles politely, trying to put emphasis on her name. She doesn't mind being known as Luke's girl by people at the station who have actually made an effort to get to know her. 

“Right, right, nice to meet you Julie. I’m Nick, I’m sure Luke’s mentioned me,” he grins, teeth showing and shoulders pulling back like he’s expecting her to — what? Clap? A small furrow works its way between her brows as Nick starts up a conversation without even waiting for her response and she suddenly understands what Luke means about him. Because he has mentioned the condescending, stereotypical blonde frat boy before, and never in a good way. It was mostly followed by some very creative swear words and a mumbled ‘he’s going to get either himself or one of us really hurt one day’.

She tries to follow along with the conversation, nodding politely and laughing whenever Harrison forces one out, but Nick only seems interested in talking about himself, and normally she can feign interest, but right now all she wants is to talk to one person in particular.

There’s the sound of too many voices heading in their direction and Julie turns around, eyes searching for one person, but all she’s met with is a collection of firefighters she vaguely knows and tries not to let her disappointment show too clearly on her face.

“Wow Molina, don’t look so excited to see us!” An elbow nudges her side and Julie glances up to see Carrie Wilson has appeared in the place that Nick had just stood, eyebrows raised and a blinding smile as the other blonde frowns from behind her, still trying to carry on his conversation.

“No! I am glad to see you all it’s just—” Julie starts, eyes a little wide as she looks at the other girl because Carrie had only ever been nice to her, but Luke had a lot of stories about the blonde being ruthless and rude to people she was mildly inconvenienced by.

(One of Luke’s favourite stories was about Carrie loudly telling some girl that Nick was flirting with how he had used the same lines on her two months before. Luke told it every chance he could get, sparing no details on the look of horror that has taken over Nick’s face.)

“You’re here for Patterson,” Carrie cuts her off with a wink, elbow nudging her lightly again, “Don’t worry, we all know. He should be down soon.” There’s something about how she says it that raises more questions than answers for Julie, furrow between her brows and mouth opening to comment when Carrie just nods her head behind her, and Julie turns around to spot Luke.

It’s impossible, Julie knows it’s impossible, but she could swear time slows down. Like she’s in some rom-com movie where the main character sees their love interest for the first time.

Only she’s not in a film, she’s stood next to a fire engine and trying to care about what the people around her are talking about and it’s far from the first time she’s seen the love interest. But the world still feels like it’s in slow motion all the same as she looks up as Luke calls her name from the second floor, grinning at her from over the banister and holding up one hand in that universal signal for ‘wait’.

And Julie waits, not that she could really do anything else with the firehouse blurring at the edges and Nick's voice fading into the background. Focus entirely on Luke.

She’s never seen someone slide down the pole before, didn’t even know that they still used them in firehouses, but Julie’s pretty sure it shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Though, she supposes, it could just be Luke. His hand wraps around the metal and Julie swallows as her eyes are drawn to his arms, to where his top pulls tight and his forearms are on show. If this was a film, there’d be some stereotypical song about sex playing in the background right about now. All her slightly hazy brain can supply is the chorus to Lady Marmalade on repeat. His legs wrapped around the pole, ankles crossed and thighs pressed together, comes into view as he slides down the metal, all cool and in control, and Julie's throat goes dry.

She knows how much strength it takes to slide down a pole. Her and Flynn had taken a few pole dancing classes a few years ago in an attempt to add some sort of exercise into their day. Julie can still remember how much her arms ached and the bruises that littered the insides of her thighs after even the simplest of moves.

It was hard, and Luke was making it look so easy.

His feet hit the ground, and even though she’s too far away to actually hear it, she’s pretty sure they must make some sort of thudding sound. Because that’s what happens, right? You slide down the pole and your feet hit the floor with a thud that shows you’re ready for action. Only Luke isn’t going off to put on his uniform and fight a fire or save a life.

He’s walking towards her, suspenders swaying and smile widening and eyes never leaving her face.

And look, she knows that she’s seen Luke fully naked, fresh out of a shower or panting on his back. But seeing him slide down that fucking pole in his white t-shirt, suspenders by his knees and hair a mess? Hottest thing she has ever seen. And he knows it if the way his teeth sink into his bottom lip as he gets closer is anything to go by.

“How long did it take you to practice all that, Patterson?” Carrie asks, and Julie can hear the teasing tone in her voice and would normally enjoy seeing Luke stammer and blush, but right now she’s the one feeling too warm and is pretty sure if she started speaking right now all that would come out would be a high pitched noise.

“About the same amount of time it takes you to do your hair,” is his easy reply and Julie watches as Carrie rolls her eyes, hair flipping over her shoulder, and because he’s momentarily not looking at her, Julie tries to pull her thoughts together. To get a hold of herself. This is not the first time she has seen him in his uniform, she has seen in him in far less, and she will not turn into a blushing mess right now!

“Alright you lot, back to work!” Harrison interrupts before anyone can say anything else, and everyone starts walking away, some nudging Luke as they go, some giving her a wave, and she thinks she must smile back, at least she hopes she does. Her brain is still very much focused on Luke and how his thighs probably looked coming down that pole without the heavy duty trousers. “You tell Alex I’m still a fan of the flapjack he makes,” Harrison says as she walks past, dropping an eye into a wink and giving Luke a look she doesn’t understand.

A tense smile pulls at Julie’s lips that she hopes comes across as genuine and not just her unable to speak because of her incredibly hot and infuriatingly knows it boyfriend.

“You alright, Jules? Looking a little flushed, need me to get one of the EMT’s?” Luke asks, all innocence and anything but subtle as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet, teeth still chewing on his damn lip.

“Just—” she clears her throat, trying to glare up at him, but already knowing it’s ruined by the heat in her cheeks and how she can’t stop staring at his arms. God, she hasn’t been this distracted by his arms since their first date. Blowing out a breath, Julie drags her eyes away from where his arms are crossed across his chest — which, she’s like, 80% sure he’s doing on purpose right now, the little shit — and up to his face just as he raises an eyebrow at her.

“It’s just a little warm,” she finally manages to get out, raising her hand that’s clutching the reusable grocery bag too tight, “Alex sent me with lunch.”

Luke’s eyes light up at the mention of Alex and food, hands dropping from his chest to eagerly reach for the bag and Julie can’t help but giggle at how quickly he can switch from cocky to cute.

“Swee-et! Alex is best,” he grins down at her, drawing out the first syllable of the word and bobbing his head at her. “You wanna eat outside?”

Julie doesn’t respond, just nods her head and links her fingers through his empty hand, letting Luke lead her out of the fire station and to the little grassy area outside. There’s already a blanket on the ground, two bottles of water and a warmth spreads through her for a different reason as Luke pulls her down to the ground and spreads out the food Alex has given them.

They get an hour.

An hour to eat lunch and curl up together to talk and giggle and try to keep their hands visible at all times. It’s both her favourite and the most tortuous hour of her week so far. And Luke’s just leaning in to whisper something in her ear, his breath against her cheek sending shivers down her spine when the alarm starts blaring from inside and his head drops to her shoulder with a sigh that mingles with her own groan.

“I gotta go,” he mutters into the fabric of her t-shirt, and she can imagine how his lips would feel brushing against her skin if they were somewhere else right now.

“I know,” she sighs and carefully moves her shoulder so he has to lift his head up, eyes apologetic as they meet hers. “Be careful?”

“Always am,” Luke smiles gently at her and then he’s getting up and leaving her on the blanket and feeling the loss. Julie watches him go, knees pulled up to her chest and blowing him a kiss when he turns around to wave one last time like he always does when the alarm inevitably ends their lunch date early.

Which normally Julie was fine with.

He was at work. He had a job. He had an important job.

Running out in the middle of lunch was fine. And it would have been fine today, if he hadn’t slid down that damn pole and filled her head with all sorts of ideas and left her fidgeting in her seat. It doesn’t help that Luke clearly knows, if the way he presses a kiss to her forehead and mutters a sorry, eyes a little wide and promises to see her later.

Which is all well and good, but Julie can’t help but feel like he did it on purpose and wonders if there’s a way for her to make him feel just as flustered as she had an hour earlier.

//

It takes her a while to form a plan of revenge, and then it takes a while longer for her to gather all the things she needs. And okay, maybe at some point she forgets why she’s doing all this, and then Luke mentions the pole at the station and how it makes his muscles ache sometimes as he says he’s going for a shower and Julie remembers the sight of him coming down and redoubles her planning.

The hard part comes when she has to pick a day. Because she can’t lure him to her house, not while her dad is working odd hours and her brother is home and Victoria still has a tendency to show up unannounced. Which leaves finding a time when his apartment is empty.

Not an easy feat when Reggie works from home part time, and can’t actually be trusted to stick to his word when he says he’ll be out and Alex has a weekend routine he’s hard pressed to change and likes to get home from work and relax. Plus she has to check when Luke isn’t working on a weekend, which turns out to be the easiest part, because it turns out Harrison really likes her and was happy to schedule Luke a weekend off when she asked.

Sure, she could have enacted her plan while one or both of them were home too but, well Julie knows the boys are all very close, and she knows that they’ve accepted her into the closeness with welcome arms. But she’s not sure she wants to have sex while they’re eating leftover lasagna down the hall. Feels a little too close for her liking. Plus, she has a plan that might end up involving their bath and she’s not sure they’d want to be there for that.

So Julie bides her time. Changes her mind on what clothes she wants and practices different poses on her bed at night and drops little hints about a weekend alone together.

Alex makes plans first, announces that he’s going with Willie to an out of state kids skateboarding competition to help cheer on Willie’s little proteges. He makes a big deal out telling them all the dates and how they had plans to go to some couples spa on their way back and how his restaurant would be ‘more than happy to supply any meals for two that you two might want’.

It had gone over Luke’s head, just nodding and asking about the competition. But Julie had gotten the hint.

And then a few days later Reggie said he had ‘big plans’ with her dad and brother of all people. He’d said it one afternoon when she’d stopped by to see Luke before his week of night shifts, how they were going to go camping so her dad could take some photos for a project and Reggie could teach Carlos to fish, and then he’d dropped his eye in a dramatic wink when she’d asked if that was the same weekend Alex was also away.

(Julie knew that she probably should have found it a little weird how often Reggie seemed to talk and hang out with her family, but the first time she’d gotten home to find him sitting at the dining room table, helping her dad edit photos and offering to order pizza, had felt strangely right.

Like he had always been a part of their family.

Luke had asked her once, a few weeks after they first started dating if it was okay. If she didn’t mind that Reggie had seemed to attach himself to her family. He never explicitly said anything, but she’d known him long enough by then to see the hints, the secrets she wasn’t aware of yet. Of lonely childhoods and something lacking. The hints that he’d found that with her family. And even if she hadn’t been fine with it already, she wasn’t about to stop Reggie. The Molina’s had never been shy about taking in lost souls.)

So apparently she hadn’t been quite as subtle as she thought she’d been with her hints. Both boys clearly conspiring to get her a weekend alone with their best friend. Julie’s just glad that Luke clearly hasn’t noticed. Or if he hadn’t, hadn’t teased her about it.

And that their apartment is empty when she uses her key to let herself in on Friday evening, Hotdog already waiting by the shoes for Luke, head tilted as she looks up mewling softly in disappointment.

“Sorry sweetie, he’ll be home soon though,” Julie mummers, bending down to scratch behind the cat's ears before stepping out of her shoes, which Hotdog happily moves to sit on top of instead. “Be sure to make a big fuss when he gets in so I know, alright?”

Hotdog doesn’t respond, just fixes her eyes back on the front door to wait for Luke, and Julie moves further into the apartment, laughing quietly at the plate of brownies Alex or Willie have clearly left out for them on the counter, blushing slight as she reads the short message scrawled on a post-it note,

‘Don’t mess up my kitchen ;)’

She tries not to let herself think too hard or long about how clearly they all knew about her grand plans for the night. And the next day, and hopefully the whole weekend if things went according to plan.

Picking up the plate on her way through the kitchen, Julie shrugs out of her coat to leave on the back of one of the kitchen stools, because if Luke missed her shoes in the hall, he won't miss this, and she’s really hoping he’ll get the hint to head towards his bedroom. By the time she’s made it to Luke’s room she’s lifted the cellophane off the plate and taken a bite from one of the brownies. Definitely Willie who’d baked them, he was always doubling up the chocolate content. Where Alex was experimental in the kitchen, Willie was a traditionalist who believed chocolate was the best way to set a mood. Julie couldn’t really fault his logic as she moves into Luke’s room.

His room looks the same as it had the first time she’d seen it. Only now there’s a bottle of her perfume on his dresser, and some of her clothes on his ‘laundry’ chair, and polaroids of the two of them stuck in the corners of the photo frames of him and the boys. And Julie knows if she thinks about it, that her room at her dad's house is also littered with pieces of him as well, and she knows it’s only been a few months, but it feels like years. Like her life had been full of all these little gaps she’d never noticed until they were filled with Luke.

Putting the plate down, she starts moving around his room. Pulling out the firefighting coat he’d brought home a few weeks ago because he’d found a rip in the shoulder, rooting through his wardrobe for the plain blue cut off she’d seen the last time she was over and laying them out on his bed. Tilting her head, Julie mentally puts together her outfit one more time. Shorts, suspenders, Luke’s cut-off, coat, maybe the shoes? She bites her lip and decides to come back to it, to see how everything looks on.

It’s strange, Julie thinks as she clips one side of her suspenders to her shorts, how nervous she is about this. It’s not like this is the first time they’ll have slept together, but it is the first time she’s done anything like this. Dressed up in something other than a pretty dress for dinner that he’d taken great care of taking off her.

What if he didn’t like it? What if he thought it was weird? What if he got home and was too tired to do anything? He’d been at work all day, after a long week of working, maybe she should change her plans and do it tomorrow night? What if—

She cuts her own thoughts off with a groan, sitting down on the end of Luke’s bed to take a breath and fiddle with knee high sheer socks dotted with little stars that she’d ordered online. Logically, Julie knows that Luke will like this, that he’ll look at her with those eyes of his that can’t hide a single emotion and smile at her slowly and call her beautiful.

Because he’d been complimenting her since their first date, and every day since. Little things and big changes and all the between. He really did seem to like her just as much dressed up and with make-up on as he did when she’d just woken up on a morning with her hair a mess and pillow creases still on her cheeks.

And that in itself was scary.

Because he liked her for her and didn’t need her to change. She’d never really dated anyone before who didn’t want her to be less invested in music or spend less time with her family or who didn’t like Flynn or even one guy who thought she should try a different scent of shampoo. They’d all been relationships littered with red flags, big and small.

But not even Flynn could find a real warning sign about Luke. Maybe he was a little co-dependant on his friends, but neither of them could say anything because they were a little co-dependant too. And maybe he could be a little over enthusiastic, but he also knew when to give her space. He had a stable job and good friends and was cute and lived in a nice area and he had a cat.

And, once upon a time, he had had a similar dream to her.

One of the things Flynn had managed to dig up on him during her ‘background’ check was an old low quality video on youtube of three boys in a garage playing instruments that looked too big for them but taking the whole thing seriously. Voices cracking on the cover of Summer of ‘69 they were playing, but Julie had seen the way they grinned at each other, at the way a younger Luke had bounced around the small space and Reggie had rocked on his feet and Alex had thrown a drumstick in the air and caught it again. They were kids, but they were talented and it's at that moment that Julie realises Luke was right. They could have made it.

She wonders what would have happened if fate hadn’t intervened in the form of a fire. She’s pretty sure Luke has wondered the same thing too. He doesn’t talk about it much and Julie’s never sure how much to push because he seems happy in his life and choices. And plus, if it hadn’t been for a fire in a record store, there’s a chance they wouldn’t have met.

Julie frowns a little at that thought as she rolls on her second sock over her knee and stands up, straightening out her shorts and twisting the side of Luke’s cut off up and tying it into a knot. She’s never been the biggest believer in fate since her mom died but she thinks there’s something a little like fate that’s pulled them together. And she thinks they’d have met with a fire or without a fire, with music or without.

She wrinkles her nose at herself in the mirror at that thought, rolling her eyes at how cheesy it sounds even to herself. Fate and destiny, who did she think she was? They were just two people lucky enough to find each other.

An alarm goes off on her phone to tell her she’s got half an hour before Luke is due home and this is her last chance if she wants to change her mind.

Tilting her head a slightly to the side, Julie takes in her high waisted shorts, red suspenders dangling by her thighs, the way her t-shirt cinches at her waist and reveals just a strip of skin above her shorts where she knows Luke likes to rest his hands when he pulls her close. She’d taken extra care with her curls and all she had to do was apply some lipstick and touch up her eyeliner and she’d be ready.

It’s Flynn’s voice in the back of her head as she tucks curls behind her ears to lean a little closer to her reflection and, as she pulls back, smacking her lips once before letting them rest in a pout, she can’t help but reiterate it, “I do look hot.”

The front door shuts and Julie can hear Hotdog meowing and Luke’s muffled voice down the corridor as she’s pulling his coat over her shoulders. It’s far too big for her, hanging below her knees and she has to roll the sleeves up three times to free her hands, but the collar smells like smoke and metal and Luke and his last name is written across the right hand side and his station across her back.

That was the part that Flynn had said would really get him — his name on her. Luke wasn’t exactly possessive, but she and Flynn had agreed there was just something about it that was A Lot, in a good way. (Unlike buying a pole and installing it in Luke’s room for a weekend, that was A Lot, in a bad way. Her plan had gone through many different phases before settling on this one. Luckily, it was also the cheapest.)

“Jules?” Luke calls and Julie bites her lip as she carefully climbs on to his bed, and kneels in the middle before changing her mind and crawling off the other side to stand next to it instead.

“I’m in here,” she calls back and she hears something dropping to the floor, probably his bag she guesses, and then his footsteps sounding down the hall.

Julie’s glad she opted for the shoes, just simple black heels, but they give her an extra lift and something more for Luke to look at as he opens his bedroom door. She has one knee slightly bent and resting on her toes, coat sleeves hiding the way her hands are balled up at her sides and one shoulder raised a little higher than the other as she tilts her head at him, biting her lip.

He freezes in the doorway, mouth partly open like he’d been about to say something only to get lost somewhere between his brain and vocal chords as his eyes seem to lock on to the coat she’s wearing before traveling down to her bare legs and Julie watches him swallow, adam's apple bobbing. Just as his eyes get back up to her face she moves one hand to tuck her coat behind her hip and hook her thumb under her suspenders in a way she’s seen him do countless times.

And it gets the reaction she wants, his eyes zeroing in on her hand and tracing up the line of red that covers her chest. Luke’s tongue darts out to swipe across his bottom lip as he blinks and finally drags his eyes back up to her face, pupils blown wide and she watches as he lets out a heavy breath.

“Hi,” she breathes out, and almost immediately regrets it. She's trying for sexy but thinks it just comes across as gasping. Which she hopes she’ll be eventually at some point tonight, but would at least like to be touched a little first.

“You—” Luke starts, and his voice is rough like he’s not used it in hours so he swallows again and Julie’s momentarily distracted by the way his throat moves before his speaking again, “Is that my coat?”

“Maybe,” Julie shrugs, turning slightly so she can pull at the collar of the coat to peer down at the name stitched in the fabric, “Oh look, it does say your name. Would you like me to take it off?” She blinks up at him with a soft smile.

Julie doesn’t know if it’s the smile or her words or just everything about the moment, but Luke lets out a low groan and before she can even blink he’s stood in front of her, hands on her hips and fingers brushing against her strip of visible skin, just like she knew he would. And she’s thankful for the heels all over again when it gives her the little extra height that means Luke doesn’t have to bend down quite so far to brush his lips across her cheek.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he mutters, lips ghosting along her jaw and Julie has to rest her hands against his chest to steady herself as her legs already feel wobbly. If she didn’t love him, she’d almost hate him for how easily he can affect her.

“Luke,” she whines as he continues to avoid her lips and trails one hand up his chest to wrap around his neck, fingers winding into his hair to tug lightly which only results in making him huff a laugh against the skin below her ear before giving in and pulling back.

“So,” he starts, press a light kiss to her cheek again again, “fucking,” he kisses the corner of her lips, “beautiful.” And he finally presses his lips to hers, soft at first and then she nips lightly at his top lip and he flexes his fingers against her hip, tugging her a closer with her suspenders to deepen the kiss.

Julie walks them backwards until the backs of her knees hit the edge of his bed and Luke takes the lead from there, lowering her down without breaking the kiss. He pulls away just enough to gasp for a breath, and she looks up at him, chest heaving and takes her chance to start her own teasing trail of kisses up his neck and across his jaw.

“Fuck,” he mutters and Julie smiles as she sucks lightly at his neck and sees the red mark her lipstick has left behind. She just hopes it lasts long enough for her full plan.

//

“This was because of the pole thing a few weeks ago, right?” Luke asks a few hours later as they lie in the middle of his bed, blankets half pushed to the floor and Julie’s spent the last five minutes kicking her legs back and forth to try and dislodge the reminder from covering her legs without having to turn around or sit up. She’s perfectly comfortably lying on her front, licking chocolate off her fingers from one of the brownies that Alex and Willie had been correct in leaving for them.

“Maybe,” she tries to shrug, but it’s awkward in this position and she quickly gives up to just look at him from under her lashes with a smile.

Luke laughs, his fingers trailing up and down her arm and over her shoulder a few times before he sits up slightly and leans over to press a kiss to her shoulder, “If I’d known it would cause such a reaction I would have slid down that pole in front of you months ago.”

“It might have still taken us months to get to this. Your roommates have very annoying schedules,” she shakes her head sadly and she thinks her hair has to be hitting him in the face, but he doesn’t say anything, just carefully gathers it in one hand to drape over her other shoulder, his lips still brushing soft kisses across her skin.

“Yeah. I’d get rid of them if Alex didn’t feed me for free and Reggie didn’t get us so many free tickets to stuff,” he sighs, breath blowing against her skin as his nose nudges over her shoulder blade until his lips follow and his rest his chin on her shoulder, and all she has to do is turn her head a little to find his eyes on her lips. “Though it would be so worth it for weekends like this.”

“Guess we should just make the most of this one first, huh?”

It’s a little awkward, and Luke must be uncomfortable with his torso twisted like it is, but it’s easy to kiss Luke, and to roll over until she can push him back down until his back hits the mattress and she can hover over him instead.

“You sound like you have a plan,” Luke comments, and his hands rest on her hips, fingers tapping against her as he looks up at her with those damn eyes of his. The ones that can’t hide a single thought or emotion. And all she can see is love, and okay yeah, probably a lot of lust.

“There might have been some bullet point list involved,” she shrugs one shoulder, her hair slipping over as she moves and Luke’s fingers flex against her, squeezing one hip as he lets out something that sounds halfway between a laugh and a groan.

“That shouldn’t be this hot,” he shakes his head, but his eyes are still shining and Julie loves him.

So she tells him. And kisses him. And wonders if it’s too soon to suggest they spend all their weekends together forever.

[souichieatr]

wanna be yours, ch2

suna x freader , foxy boy

where in which two opposites fall in love

a/n: for everyone who commented on the posts youve been added sorry i cant reply <//3 if you're interested in being in the taglist send me an ask, i was thinking of making a playlist for the au would anyone be interested? lmk !! sorry if there are any mistakes or if its bad this is my first writing <3

ch1. this voice im hearing rn? , hey bestie

word count: 2,090

the first song- The Ghost of You- my chemical romance

second song- I Bet on Losing dogs- mitski

third song- Crybaby- destroy boys

pocketing her phone after reading tendous message, she opens the door waving to a couple friends and offers friendly smile taking her seat. a pair of pale green eyes follow her. after yesterday suna did a little research about her y/n y/l/n the bassist and youngest in the band called 4u, she has quite a big following on twitter, she's really nice and interacts with the fans. looking at her now you can't imagine her on stage suna thought. breaking away from his thoughts as the teacher walks in. spouting for about what feels like hours and the students taking notes, finally lunch approaches. y/n jumps from her seat grabbing her case she walks to the third year hallway. waving to her friends they walk to her, tendou wrapping his arms around her “y/n!!!!!! i missed you” laughing as she hugged him back “tendou!!! i missed you toooo.” she turns to the grey haired male, “semisemi!!” she says giving him a hug, he rolls his eyes and hugs her back “and ushi!!” she turns to the brunette to which he pats her head “good afternoon y/n.” as they go to the lunch room to grab their lunch, they walk to one of the music rooms they usually occupy. a beep from her phone grabs her attention seeing her friend atsumu asking if him his twin and their friend can join for lunch, “hey guys you dont mind if atsumu and his friends come join us?” she says setting down her case against the wall. “nah you can invite them, atsumu is our biggest hype man” tendou says, grabbing his drum sticks from his back pocket. texting him its cool she goes to unzip her bass. “oh ms lady ive missed you” she says hugging the instrument, “i can't believe you two and always wanting to play, dont yall have any other hobby?” semi says, grabbing the schools given guitar setting the speaker up for y/n. tendou gives a scoff “semisemi dont act like you hate hearing us play i see you listening to our covers alllll the timeeeee” he says “yeah semi besides we have a concert soon and it wouldnt be bad to have an audience” y/n says walking to semi to connect her bass to the speaker when the door opens, entering is atsumu in the middle, osamu on his left, and a mystery guy in the back. setting her bass down running up to the blond “tsumu!!” giving him a hug “y/n!!” he hugs her back, she waves to osamu, who shes met on an occasion. looking towards the dark haired guy she walks up to him, noticing shes seen him somewhere. “youre suna right? we're in the same class?” she says giving him a hand and a awkward smile, nodding at her words. “hope its okay im here” he says taking her hand giving a slight shake. “nah dont worry its nice to have a different face, seeing tsumu is getting boring” turning around to the male. “what she means to say is we could use practice in front of new people” the grey haired male says giving a small laugh when tendou scoffs at him, both guys walking towards the small group. “this is semi and this is tendou” she says introducing them. when the introductions are over the two males go back to setting up, y/n walks the newcomers to the sitting area “here you guys can sit, im sure you all know ushijima” on hearing his name he looks up from his name giving a small head bow. they all sit “any recommendations tsumu?” y/n says walking to her bass making sure everything was good, looking towards the small group. “y/n you know my favorites” atsumu says stealing one of his brothers onigiri. y/n laughs and rolls her eyes, turning to tendou “anything you wanna try tori?” tendou looks at her with a smile “y/n lets show semi whatweve been working on” hearing this semi looked at them “what do you guys mean? what did you two do” y/n chuckles at the grey hairs doubtful expression “mr semisemi you know your favorite mcr song” when she sees him nod she continues “me and tori learned it” she says pushing him lightly. semi looked at her with wide eyes then at tendou, looking at semi tendou flicked his drum stick between his fingers with a nod. “wow semi cant believe you, we spent so much hours perfecting a my chemical romance for your sap self and he doesn't believe us y/nie i might

” tendou says fake sniffing. the little group in the back beyond confused, atsumu clearing his throat “have you three forgotten us already, wheres our show” ushijima nodding his head “yeah why are you guys being so vague” tendou snickers “dont worry you three and wakatoshi we have decided to play a new song or well cover i should say” “yeah and its semi’s favorite band you know the one that he wears on his shirts?” ushijima looking towards the girl after hearing her statement he nods. “okay can we play now ive been waiting to show my skills and get our lovely semi's opinion” y/n says removing her pick, both boys giving a ‘yeah’. finally tendou does the countdown. suna looks at all three of them with slight excitement in his stomach, ‘is this a new song im going to hear?’ before he could think of anything else, semi started playing a few chords by himself and y/n starting to add her own strums then tendou adding drums. sunas eyes widen at how well all the sounds blended together, freezing in his spot when semi started singing, when hitting the chorus y/n joins him. suna looking at her, he felt like he had been put in a trance, feeling like theres a spotlight on her when she starts nodding her head seeing her tongue sticking out when stringing the instrument. towards the end you can see y/n lose focus and her eye twitches, ending the song she sighs. “hey sorry about the end” waving to the guys to her left with a frown. hearing applause from the group the frown doesnt last long. “WHOOO!!!!! THAT WAS MY BESTIES GO SEMI! GO TENDOU! GO Y/N!!” atsumu gets up and yells. “that was so good what the hell that was yer first time too?” he says going up to the group, high-fiving y/n. “i mean me and tendou practiced together but semi basically has every song by them memorized but together? yeah our first.” tendou getting up to get his water that was next to ushijima. semi joining the fake blond and the girl, patting her on her back “that was a good first for us i can tell you and tendou worked hard, we're definitely adding it to the set list.” getting a laugh from both of them semi walks to the small group. “hey man that was really good, you have a nice voice” suna says as semi approaches, semi turned to him surprised “oh thank you im glad you enjoyed, do you listen to our stuff?” he says taking a seat next to him. “ive recently just started, i hope that doesnt sound too weird” the dark haired suddenly getting a little embarrassed, chuckling “its not weird i promise, well its good you listen to us or im sure it would've been awkward to just be here” nodding along to what he said. tendou going back to the drums “are you cowards tapping out now?” “COWARDS?!?!” y/n yells back turning around “i am no coward tendou satori i'll make you eat those words semi get over here” she said grabbing semis attention and shooing atsumu back to his seat. chuckling as he sat back down, turning to suna “howd ya like em? theyre good huh?” suna rolling his eyes “im not going to help inflate your ego tsumu” “yeah tsumu yer big ego is not cute” gasping to their remarks “you guys are so mean to me, i introduce you to nice music and even the artists and this is the thanks i get” before any could respond tendou starts clicking his sticks. starting this one is tendou with a slower sound, y/n entering second then semi with vocals. y/n leans down to mess with something by her foot turning a notch noises like static come out adding to the music, coming up fast she starts adding her vocals complimenting semis. pressing on the box she leans down as more noises come out. atsumu leans over to sunas ear “thats a pedal that holds other sounds and can help stretch other sounds” suna giving him a nod. towards the end y/n reaches down to the pedal again adding a distorted sound before adding her last bit of ‘oohs’ before the song ends. everyone clapping as the members stay still for s bit before y/n dramatically bows “youre so welcome lovely audience” she says blowing kisses to them, laughing at her atsumu jumps up and down pretending to be a crazy fan “oh y/n you were so go

od i love you y/n!!!” y/n laughing at him. “hey atsumu what about me!” tendou asks swinging his hand “howd i do?” “oh tendou you were so good, i love you too tendou!!!” he says swinging his arm back. tendou satisfied with his response nods his head, “and with that lets play one more i still want time to actually eat before we play again later.” “yeah lets try ‘crybaby’ we haven't done that in awhile” semi says getting in position.“remember y/n you do the verses” y/n nods clearing her throat “go tori” she says and tendou starts the counting again. starting the counting fast he gets one beat then y/n starts off with singing, swinging her bass back she grabs the mic. suna cracks a smile nodding his head a little as he remembers this song on their youtube, atsumu whistling when y/n dips down her mic as she sings, letting the boys have a solo in between verses she bobs her head. the last few seconds of the song she swings the instrument back as she steps on the pedal creating feedback, as semi goes to vocals she starts getting a solo with tendou playing, y/n leans forward and her and semi sing the rest of the song. after the last note they all look out of breath. clapping for them again letting them catch their breath, y/n starts laughing “i forget how hard that song is towards the end” laughing with her tendou nods “its literally the last 50 seconds that get the hardest” “alright lets clean up” semi says laughing at both of their bored looks they send him. finishing up they all go to the group whove are talking among themselves. sighing as she sits y/n takes the seat next to suna, “so howd you like the songs?” she says with a smile “they were good though i only recognized the last one” he replies, “tsumu told me you started listening to us recently so i thought or well semi thought wed show off a bit with our best song being that” she says with a smile grabbing her bottle. a small smile appears on his face “oh hey tsumu told me youre like really good in your classes and i really need help in history and since we have that group project coming up do you wanna pair up?” she says setting her bottle down grabbing a bag of chips. “yeah i dont mind as long as you actually do something and i can help you study if your grade is that bad” he says. “thatd actually help me out a lot i really appreciate it” she lets a breath out. after that the two spent all lunch just talking, the conversation coming easy for both of them. hearing the bell ring y/n hugs her friends and walks with suna to their class, pairing up in the project the teacher had given them in their period. after class before y/n rushed out she passed him her number with a wink “text me for the deets foxy boy.” ‘foxy boy? suna thought to himself shaking his head texting her with a simple ‘hey its suna’ and heading home.

facts !

during lunch when suna and y/n we're talking the followed each other on twitter

semi was really touched they learned the mcr song

the 4u concert is at a small venue but no one really cares about the other groups going there

osamu and atsumu almost started fighting over the onigiri until suna said something about ushijima being right there

atsumu was watching suna and y/n talking

osamu actually really enjoyed being there during lunch

—taglist

@applekenm , @xhanjisungiex , @astronomyturtle , @sirachano0dles , @yn-tingz , @killmepls-uwu , @bakugouswh0r3

[sixstepsaway]

Parents being shitty about pets seems to be a common trend, Im sorry you have to deal with all of this! Your dad agreeing to dogsit when he's not going to be doing any of the work and he knows he's got ducks at home is??? A new level of dad bullshit??? What's wrong with him. Pets are so much work when you actually care about their wellbeing instead of thinking of them as living toys that move around your house that you just need to feed, and yet. That last one is the vibe of anyone over 40 with kids I've met in my life and I'm like "aah this explains so much about how you parent too now that I think about it".

6 ducks sounds like hell on earth during mating season honestly, specially if they're pets and not farm animals. I love birds but they're all in for doing horrible things to each other by human standars lol

For my birthday six years ago my parents got me an amazon parrot without consulting me first and Im still like : / this was shitty of them absolutely no thought put into consequences. Like I love this bird! I like keeping birds! I had a lovebird at the time that sadly died a year later bc of an egg she couldn't lay, I dont remember what that's called in english. The amazon parrot hated her (they're pretty aggro to other birds) so I spent that year trying to find a balance between taking care of both of them, it was Hell. He's sweet enough to the other people in the household (it took. So much work to pull this off. Why would they buy a bird then not respect that he's not a dog and cant be socialized like one) and he tolerates me doing nearly whatever to him bc Im his favorite but other pets? People who don't live with us? He wants them Away From Him and if they ignore his warnings he also wants them Dead by his own beak

Parrots are so fucking high maintenance (in time effort and money) that while there's only one of him, I'm still essentially trapped at home until I save up enough to buy a house myself, and only if I keep doing work from home (which I can do, Im in tech), bc they need either your full attention or multiple people handling them to make up for not having 20 birds, and you cannot have one of these in an apartment lol he's loud as hell. Tbf this does line up with what I vaguely wanted out of life 6 years ago, like buying a house in the country and becoming an old hermit witch, and I get along with my parents so living at home isn't that bad but. Would have liked it to be a choice you know? That I could have chosen to try living on my own before I hit 40 and commiting to a house if I wanted to? I wanted to have cats and now this is fully off the table forever

Also there's like one vet that knows birds in this entire city so the idea of the parrot getting sick is so anxiety inducing. And his life expectancy is about 60 years so either he outlives me or I get him killed by mistake which are both bad options for how his life ends. It's like they heard me say I dont want kids and then they got me a very sharp feathery forever toddler that loves any idea that leads directly to his death, like trying to chew wiring or fight the dog bc the kibble is obviously for him. Like I love him but it feels like my entire life revolves around meeting his needs and he's never going to stop depending on me

okay, trying this again with an extension that can recover lost text this time :) since my tab refreshed mid-reply last time.

oh it doesnt do tumblr. nice. okay, whatever. i'll just save this as a draft every 5 minutes. manual autosave, what a conundrum.

putting this under a read more since i assume it will get lengthy again and this will make it more avoidable

Parents being shitty about pets seems to be a common trend, Im sorry you have to deal with all of this! Your dad agreeing to dogsit when he's not going to be doing any of the work and he knows he's got ducks at home is??? A new level of dad bullshit??? What's wrong with him.

the short answer is 66 years of undiagnosed ADHD. the long answer is: so fucking much.

a few things he's done to me over the years, truncated as much as possible to avoid trauma dumping:

shouted at me that i was "being obnoxious" during a fight, left, then came back 40 minutes later and banned me from my chat room (my only social contact at that point in my life) for a week for calling him obnoxious (✨ i did not ���)

convinced me to watch firefly with him at 11-ish years old and then used my agreeing to watch seven episodes to make me watch tv with him every single night for the next god knows how many years, including, but not limited to, all the star treks (except enterprise, he got bored), buffy, angel, the x files (which at the time i hated because i couldnt work out what they were saying and it was too dark to see), the wire, and babylon 5 (which I loved)

decided then that saturdays were movie nights, despite me hating movies (less so these days)

flipped his entire shit when i told him i couldnt go watch tv with him one night because my best friend was suicidal and i couldnt leave her. declared if we didnt go in there and watch tv then we "never will again!" and so i said "okay" and we never did again

threatened to divorce my mom a week later over a period of a hellish four days because he said she'd 'slapped him in the face' by playing Crazy Taxi with me for 10 minutes before the time we used to watch tv (it wasnt even the time we watched tv)

stopped talking to me for 2-3 months literally last year because i couldn't help him with his headphones. he'd literally walk out of any room i was in, ignore me to the point he didnt even acknowledge when i spoke, and made my life an absolute hell of hurt feelings because holy fucking shit

assorted events of "you told me no so i am going to be angry until tomorrow and make it your problem" and "you disagreed with me so now i'm storming out because fuck you" and "something outside of you made me mad so i'm taking it out on you" which. egh. i was also trapped with my PC in the same room as his until i turned 27 and built my own damn PC up here

We also had a dog when I was... 12? 11? He was running down the middle of the street unattended and when no one claimed him as a stray we ended up keeping him for the rest of his (nicely long) life. He had so much anxiety I cannot overstate it. He was terrified of walks, of baths, of people, of not being near people, of separation, of leaving the house, of everything.

My dad tried to walk him a few times and when he wasn't instantly obedient my dad stopped trying. He drove us all out to the park once, and when the dog freaked out and wouldn't stop barking, he punished the dog (AND MY MOM AND I) by making us all go home, no matter how mom and I felt about it. He never took the dog out again.

He's completely unreliable too. The dog we're sitting is named Jess (yes, I know, but Jess isn't my birth name so they don't know how fucking funny it is that I have to go "Jess!" to call a dog to me, or how funny it is to listen to them speak to said dog) and last time she stayed (last September) she spent most of her time up here with me. When my dad would start yelling at his PC, she'd just come up here and sit near me (I am quiet and peaceful and I don't rant and rave very often, if at all). She ended up sleeping the nights on my bed, which was lovely, and he knew this.

I woke up midday the one day to hear, "What do you think you're doing? Get down those stairs! How dare you! How dare you! Get down those stairs!" and him charging off to rant at my mom that Jess had come upstairs (??) and wouldn't listen when he gave her directly contradictory orders.

Absolutely toxic. He used to do things like this to our dog too.

On top of that, he's utterly irresponsible. All the ducks were out and about on the floor the other morning and he decided he wanted to recharge his car battery, so he opened the front door and left it open, which left my mom and I to herd the ducks home quickly so they wouldn't run outside.

It made me shake with rage, I am not kidding.

[saves this, lmao]

When he stopped talking to me for literal months, he made my mom so ill with his behavior and eventually she just snapped and refused to tolerate it. Told him straight up she wasn't participating in his childish behavior and has actually been much better since this because she doesn't put up with his shit nearly as much.

I'm also not putting up with his shit as much, because, well, I've already experienced Worst Case Scenario... what do I have to lose?

We're getting along better now because of it, I think. He knows that not even not talking to me will make me cowtow and apologize for something I didn't need to apologize for.

(maybe this is why I'm so defensive of Izzy as well? Ed's response to him was not proportional and nor was my dad's to me! Even if I'd gone, "oh my god dad fuck off i'm not helping you with your fucking headphone issue jesus" (which I did not, by the way, I said two things: "I can't because my bluetooth won't work properly on my headphones [which you want to borrow] and I can only hook it up to my phone rn because of it" and "I really do not want you to send my headphones back as I am fine with what I have and I put stickers on my headphones, so I don't want to lose those") being cut off for 2+ months was not proportional punishment and was utterly ridiculous and overblown and it makes me go "the fuck?" when people say izzy deserved his overblown punishment)

When he finally started talking to me again he didn't apologize or anything btw. He'd received an email from Psych UK about his ADHD screening and needed a form filled in by a friend or family member and needed me to do it. He told mom about it and was all upsetti because I wasn't ~involved~ anymore (I'm the one that told him he has ADHD, I'm the one that pushed for the diagnosis for both of us etc, I spearheaded and supported him through the whole thing) and I told mom I'd do the form, just give me the link I needed, and I did. It was important. And also I am a sucker.

He came upstairs, thanked me for doing the form and acted as though he hadn't been ignoring my very existence for multiple months. He never apologized, he just snapped back to normal like that was acceptable behavior!!

[saves again and glares at tumblr]

Pets are so much work when you actually care about their wellbeing instead of thinking of them as living toys that move around your house that you just need to feed, and yet. That last one is the vibe of anyone over 40 with kids I've met in my life and I'm like "aah this explains so much about how you parent too now that I think about it".

Before this, I used to refer to myself as his dopamine dispenser. He'd want to play me music or show me clips or whatever because it made him Happy or whatever. He's learned after this not to take my attention for granted: I don't have to give it to him. What's he gonna do? Stop talking to me again? Fuck off then. His damn loss.

We're getting along a lot better these days, actually, so there's that, and mom is still in "fuck you" mode lmao. But he's still awful and irresponsible and does things like agreeing for us to dogsit when we have six ducks, one of which is highly traumatized from the older duck's behavior and lashes out and hurts the other ducks as a stress response.

Six ducks is so lovely when it isn't mating season yeah. Lapis (a drake but we thought she was a hen so here we are) spends all her time trying to mount and stuff the other ducks and they keep getting hurt and now we have to keep them separated until she calms her tits, which is fine except guess who doesn't always separate them? Dad. He just lets it happen because he thinks we're causing her distress by not letting her run roughshod over all the other ducks. His basic thought process seems to be "Lapis is a boy and thusly should be allowed to fuck anything desired, regardless of hurting them, injuring them, traumatizing them or drowning them" which she nearly did to Shadow the one day and he would not separate them.

I love birds but they're all in for doing horrible things to each other by human standars lol

the sheer amount of ducky gang bangs i have now been witness to cannot be overstated.

For my birthday six years ago my parents got me an amazon parrot without consulting me first and Im still like : / this was shitty of them absolutely no thought put into consequences.

Pets should never be surprise presents. Never. It's irresponsible to thrust a little life into someone's arms like, "Surprise! A gift!"

Lovebirds are so cute, I'm so sorry for your loss. In English we call what you described 'egg binding', and it gives me a lot of stress and anxiety in regards to our own birds. I worry about them a lot.

I just (having already replied to this once lol) realized they got you the parrot while you already had a pet bird? What the hell? That's awful decision making!!! Having a new pet should always, always be the owner's choice to make, not something thrust on them, especially when they already have a pet!

I didn't know parrots were so high maintenance, or that they were so grumpy towards other people. I'm sorry you're stuck because of him. I know how it feels to feel stuck despite loving the little creature that's sticking you; it sucks. It really sucks.

Would have liked it to be a choice you know? That I could have chosen to try living on my own before I hit 40 and commiting to a house if I wanted to? I wanted to have cats and now this is fully off the table forever

Yeah, I get that entirely. I've been wanting to get out of this house for literally years, but my health has been so poor I've been unable to get a job (my resume is...not great), let alone hold one down if I managed. Now I'm doing better, I don't feel great about leaving the ducklings, and I definitely can't leave the clingy older duck I've convinced to trust and love me.

Also there's like one vet that knows birds in this entire city so the idea of the parrot getting sick is so anxiety inducing.

god yeah. We've had some horrible experiences with vets for our ducks in the past, because normal vets don't have a fucking clue how to treat birds and don't tend to say that! I ended up looking up specifically avian vets (and found a parrot website listing avian vets) and I found a really highly rated avian vet 20 minutes from me. I've never felt so relieved in my life.

And his life expectancy is about 60 years so either he outlives me or I get him killed by mistake which are both bad options for how his life ends.

Yep. I don't have the extent of 60 years, but my ducks will hopefully live 10 years or so, unless we get them killed somehow. I don't want the latter, but if I continue to feel I can't leave them? That means another decade in this house, living in this shoebox bedroom I've long since outgrown.

It's like they heard me say I dont want kids and then they got me a very sharp feathery forever toddler that loves any idea that leads directly to his death, like trying to chew wiring or fight the dog bc the kibble is obviously for him. Like I love him but it feels like my entire life revolves around meeting his needs and he's never going to stop depending on me

I am so sorry they did that to you. I really, truly am. I hope you find a way one day to strike some kind of balance so you don't have to revolve your entire life around him, but even if you can't, I hope you manage to be fulfilled and happy either way :(

It really, really sucks when you love what equates to basically being an anchor.

[plush-rabbit]

What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!

Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye

There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.

Upcoming ones:

Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ；∀；) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her

Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 

[kanohivolitakk]

Have you done Krekka for the ask game? I know you're a huge Nidhiki fan, curious if you have any thoughts on his partner?

I haven't gotten Krekka yet actually. So far I only done Toa Ignika and Axonn for the Bionicle ask game (which Im still accepting). That being said great choice. Krekka isn't necessarily a big favorite of mine (partially because I'm not that fond of the "dumb brute" archetype barring a few exceptions), but I have to admit I do have a soft spot for the big guy. Krekka is a relatively simple character when it comes to characterization/backstory/role in the story (especially when compared to Nidhiki), but that doesn't mean I don't have any "deeper" thoughts regarding him or that there isnt stuff worth discussing.

Anyways some thoughts/headcanons/general musings:

This is a weird thing to start with but... Krekka is kinda adorable for me. I think its kinda this ...overgrown puppy (bulldog??) vibe due to his loyalty and dumbness. I admit BOADH is a big reason for me feeling this way since it gave him a few moments that made me go "AWWW he's so cute". Just..love his loyalty so much.

His undying loyalty makes him stand out for me across the other dark hunters. While many dark hunters we ha e are opportunistic and schemy, Krekka is just...very loyal. Maybe too much so. But I love that he is loyal. Feels refreshing tbh.

And now I cant help but feel that TSO is just "guys stupid but at least he wont double cross me and is easy to keep in check" when it comes to him.

Not to go woobifying villains but I genuinely dont think the guys that bad. Hes just really stupid, overly loyal and doing his job. Its kinda like w Lariska being a decent person despite being a knife happy murder girl although to a much lesser extent since guys a literalminded fool and also just smashy boy.

I do like his backstory of being a former guard who lost his job and started wreck havoc until one day a dark hunter found and hired him. It isnt anything too complex but it works well for his character and explains why he is so loyal to Dark Hunters. It also helps bringing a bit more light to his homeland and I love when we get more info of places through character backstories, makes the world feel more real that way.

Also can Gorast please stop hurting charaxters I like. This is the reason shes my least favorite character in the 2001-2008 storyline that isnt just a glorified extra or a plot device.

When it comes to Krekka, one scene I always think of when I think of him is in BOADH where he temporarily forgot to fly and Nidhiki was just "WAIT A MOMENT LARISKA TOLD ME YOU CAN FLY????" and Krekka just goes "whoops I forgot". That was adorable honestly. You dumb idiot, forgot you could fly.

Also, I know he's kinda "the idiot character", and while I am NOT saying he isn't, I do think its worth pointing out that he's basically literal minded. In BOADH (again) when Nidhiki tried to do that training scenario Krekka basically was like "wait I’m here, there’s nothing there why should I move there". This is

Another thing I really like about Krekka is that how, despite being an absolute idiot and tool, he still is willing to sometimes not take Nidhikis bullshit, see preventing him from getting the Zamor launchers (geez BOADH did a lot for this guys characterization lmao)

I sometimes call him truck boy because his name is one letter off my languages word for truck.

Also unless canon/word of Greg says otherwise I don't think every member of his species is as stupid as him. Like possibly on similar level but still.

It is made pretty clear that Nidhiki couldn't stand Krekka at all, but I do genuinely wonder how Krekka feels about Nidhiki. Based on the little we have I'd say he liked him to some extent or at the very least, didn't hate him to the same degree. I also have to wonder how aware he was about Nidhikis haterd towards him.

I also love the idea that when Nidhiki was mutated, Krekka just...wasnt afraid of him at slightest, no fear in this dumb boy. (I also like the idea he didnt recognize him at first and Nidhiki just, had to explain to his thick skull who he was. It took a while but eventually he got it.)

On a related note, I find it interesting how the LOMN website describes him working with Nidhiki because guy knows where to get the good jobs or something rather than being his goverment (read TSO) assigned partner The way the twos relationship were described makes it feel that by this point the staff hadnt figured out what they wanted to do with Dark Hunters , or if it even was an organization or just these two tools.

Its really interesting for me how Krekkas characterization not only varies between the books/comics (where hes more intimidating and him being a simpleton isnt as pronounced) and the movie (where hes more of a dumbass) but also how his characterization evolved. Like, his loyalty wasn't that pronounced trait but now I feel its just as important part of him as him being a dumbass (which is to say, very interesting)

I remember how the aftoermentoined Metru Nui movie website described that Krekka hated toa to the point wouldve hunted them for free if Nidhiki didnt make sure the two would get paid. I feel this is somewhat early installment weirdness as it isnt mentioned anywhere else but at the same time Krekka being willing to fight without payment sounds 1000% in character if you ask me

Something I have been confused over: when exactly was Krekka recruited to the dark hunters??? The timeline is very vague about this and I wish we knew.

It's been AGES since I watched my home countrys dub of LOMN but what I recall I really liked Krekka's voice in that dub. He sounded more badass and I loved it, the VA had a pretty unique sound. Sadly dont think there is any clips of the LOMN dub, which is a shame. UPDATE: I rewatched the dub and I love the voice itself but felt the voice direction made him sound kinda inconsistent

This is more a "Nidhiki and Krekka related thought" rather than just Krekka related but one thing I really like about Krekka and Nidhiki is that how they are like a more serious and competent take of "those two evil henchmen with contrasting personalities" trope. Often these types of villains are rather goofy, but these two could be rather dangerous as well and I really like that. I also like their dynamic of just doing Nidhiki being done with Krekkas bullshit. One of the main reasons I wish LOMN was a miniseries rather than a movie is because I really wanted more screentime with the two.

On a related note can I JUST SAY I LOVE the way the two compliment/pararell each other. From design (Krekka being bulky mostly blue colored, Nidhiki being slender and monstrous, mostly green colored) to personality (Krekka being foolish and simpleminded but loyal Nidhiki being cunning and ambitious but treacherous) to powersets (Krekka being strong physical attacker, Nidhiki being weaker(??) but faster and more special attacker).Heck, even their backstories have similarities as they both lost their orginal purpose in one way or another and didnt have anywhere to go but Dark Hunters (the main difference being that Nidhiki inflicted his fate upon himself by betraying the toa while Krekka didnt really do anything iirc)

Now for something crossovery, Krekkas and Nidhikis dynamic reminds me a lot of Kronk and Yzma from Emperors New Groove. Yes I have drawn a parody of the "pull the lever kronk" meme, yes I intend to make more screencap redraws. They also remind me a lot of Mummymon and Archenemon from Digimon 02, partially due to the dynamic (smug spider that tries to be cunning and intimidating but gets outclassed by most other villains in that + loyal blue dumb boy) partially due to their ultimate fate being rather similar.

I don't know how familiar you are with the franchise, but Krekka reminds me a fair bit of Gamel, one of the four villain generals in Kamen Rider OOOs, mainly because "the dumb brute major villain that's kinda cuteish and loyal a f while everyone else is an asshole".

I remember reading a p good oneshot fic that was just him accidentally killing a civilian when all he wanted was a hug and...honestly that is p much what I imagine him being like. Guy may be strong, reckless and a fool but like I said I dont think hes all that bad and just a puppy. An overgrown, moronic puppy but a puppy nontheless

For AUs, I remember I have thought once of "What if Krekka survived but Nidhiki died" and just ...guy wouldve been very lost and confused and unsure what to do tbh. He would most likely returned to Dark Hunters but Mata Nui knows how say TSO wouldve felt about that. Its not too complex au yet but I am thinking of developing it further one day.

Thank you for asking.

Sorry this took longer than expected. I had too many thoughts and half of them were deleted so. I hope its worth the wait tho. I do have a lot of Krekka thoughts and tbh wasnt sure if I was even able to get them all here.

(I am still doing the ask game so if anyone wants to send me a bonkle I will try to give thoughts, meta and headcanons on them)

[angrylizardjacket]

mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 5

5. you say that you’re no good for me

Summary: So you have actual real feelings for him and they’re kind of starting to get in the way of your job, which is awful because you’re a professional, damn it, you’re better than that. Perhaps it’s time to come clean.

the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @kellysimagines @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit @lilytalebi 

Casie had gone back to her mom’s about a week and a half ago, and now you’re left all alone with his words of ‘like if you wanted to actually date my dad, that’d be cool with me’ with a strangely knowing air that you’re trying not to think about.

But the point is that now you’re sitting back, watching him snort fake cocaine of a very pretty girl’s bare chest, and slowly and bitterly coming to terms with the fact that your feelings for him have gone from just a lowkey crush, to a crush large enough to make you jealous because a girl’s got her tits all over Colson on a set that looks like a strip club, and you hear ‘and we’re rolling’ a few feet away from you, and you’re not quite sure why there’s an uneasy feeling in your stomach. At first you try and tell yourself that you’re a little indignant that they’re basically just using pretty girls as props, but the girls who are all over your brother in the scene don’t give you that same vague nauseous feeling, so you can’t delude yourself that into believing that there’s any particularly feminist reason for your feelings.

You try not to think too much about the girls on set wearing not much at all, covered in oil and glitter with their hair teased up and curled and laden with products. They’re doing their job, and they’re doing it well, listening to the directors, and you’re just trying not to compare yourself to them because you’re in very different roles. 

And you tell yourself this.

Over and over.

“How’re you doing, Duck?” In between takes, your brother will often check in on you, and it’s getting harder to force a smile.

“Great!” But you know even as you say it that he won’t believe you; Douglas can see through your lies better than anyone else in the world. He wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t, Doug,” you tell his quietly, face and voice both falling in the safety of his presence, but you don’t move away, “I’m a professional.” You tell him, but your heart’s not in it.

“I know you are, Duckling -”

“I’m really trying.” You mutter, leaning your head against his shoulder, conceding defeat to your own negative thoughts.

“This is new for you, I know,” he assures calmly, his hand still firm and reassuring on your shoulder.

“It’s just a job,” you remind yourself again, “everyone here’s a professional.” Voice so low only Douglas can hear you, he gives you an almost imperceptible squeeze. Before he can get a word in edgewise, the director is calling for the scene to be reset, and he had to go. Across the room, Colson gives you a quizzical look, and you try your best to smile back; it doesn’t seem to work, his frown just deepens. 

And you move on with your life. Try to, at least; pick up your clipboard, ask Josy if she needs anything, and try not to act relieved when she asks you to buy her a coffee. 

You get dinner on your own that night, which isn’t necessarily an unusual occasion, but you’re lingering in the fancy Italian restaurant a few blocks from his house, looking a little lonely, a little like the poster-girl for every pining girl in a rom-com waiting for her true love, sadly poking at your half-finished dessert. If you get recognized, you’re pretty sure the press is going to have a field day.

The thoughts won’t leave your head; it’s more than the girls on set, it’s more than the thought that he’s done this sort of thing before, it’s more than even his reputation, because you don’t give a shit about his reputation, but you can’t deny that you don’t have feelings for him, and you can’t deny that you didn’t have feelings for him before any of this even happened.

If you hadn’t said anything, you’re pretty sure nothing would have happened between the two of you. Which is okay, it’s fine, but something about it being fake is worse than it never happening. 

So you leave your dessert half finished, and start the lonely walk back to the hotel where your brother was staying.

[💜colson💜: where r u 💜colson💜: u ok? 💜colson💜: did something happen today?? 💜colson💜: ducky 🦆🥰: im fine 🦆🥰: you dont need to worry about me]

But you don’t go to the hotel. You have to see him, have to get these thoughts out of your head before they drive you mad.

“Were you waiting for me?” Your voice is small when you finally get to his house, get to his room, and Colson’s laying back on his bed, stretched out and shirtless, looking a little like the centerfold of a magazine in the lamp light. Your heart’s in your throat.

“I do worry about you, you know.”

“What?” Is all you can think to say, and try to avert your gaze.

“You said I don’t need to worry about you; I know that, I do though,” he says, doesn’t look away from the ceiling. 

“Why?” Though it’s said with a laugh, there’s no humour in it, but you don’t know if you wanna hear his answer, don’t know if you could handle it, “if I had never said anything, you wouldn’t have made a move,” you rattle off, the words falling from you like you’d rehearsed them, though it’s more accurate to say that the thoughts had been going around in your head for so long that you couldn’t even find any other words. Colson’s head turns to look at you, frowning, “so you wouldn’t have needed to worry about me then, so you shouldn’t have to worry about me now.”

And then there’s silence, and he’s regarding you with an almost angry confusion.

“What?” He finally asks, disbelief colouring his tone.

“Don’t worry about me,” you sighed, moving around the room to the open balcony door, plopping yourself into one of the wicker chairs, closing the door behind yourself.

“What is your problem? I thought we were good,” Colson’s quick to open the door and follow you out, sitting in his usual spot, elbows on his knees, almost glaring with an intensity you hadn’t witnessed before, “if you want out, you can go, don’t stay on my account if you’re unhappy.”

This shocks you enough to keep your mouth closed as you look out to horizon.

“You’ve got your room at the hotel, you don’t have to stay -”

“Just tell me,” you cut him off, “if I’d never suggested this, I would have just been Doug’s little sister during the whole process, and you wouldn’t have done anything, would you?”

“Done anything?”

“Made a move.”

“Because me making a move on the golden girl of YouTube would have worked out great,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes and sitting back, “if you hadn’t said anything, no I wouldn’t have made a move; I don’t actively seek out ways to get shot down by chicks who think they’re better than me.”

“What?” You voice comes out small, confused and a little sad, somehow it’s worse than the answer you were expecting. “I don’t -”

“And don’t go high-roading me on this bullshit; you wouldn’t have made a real move either,” it’s like his own words don’t even quite register as he said, but after a beat, he sighs, the anger, the tension leaving his body in a rush, “I know you don’t think you’re better than me. Now.” He added, and okay, he had a point there; as much as his reputation preceded him, yours did too. 

But that’s not what’s caught your focus.

“You would have wanted me to?” Shyly, almost traitorously hopeful, you can’t look at him as you speak. There’s a shift in tone, the tension changing to something new, something a little bit exciting. 

“I didn’t want to scare you off -”

“I’m not porcelain, you know,” you say, glancing at him out of the corner of your eyes, and you see him give a half-amused smile.

“Like I said, I know that now,” he conceded, “but you’re Doug’s little sister; he calls you Duck for fuck’s sake, you give off this vibe like you bleed bath bomb water, and me, I give off this vibe like -”

“Like you’ll rope someone into committing a felony,” you tell him with a dry smile, and he laughs, nodding a little.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he says, with surprising self-awareness, “but yeah, if I knew then,” he pauses for a moment, his gaze moving to the stars; even in this light you can see him turning faintly red, “how cool you were, yeah I would have done something.”

Heart in your throat, you want to ask him if there’s still even a chance, but your mind’s stuck on the if.

“Should I have done something?” You hear yourself ask, quiet, fiddling with your hands, and when he doesn’t answer after a beat, you can feel your heartbeat heavy in your chest. When you turn to him, he’s there, leaning in, and you meet him halfway, kissing him hard in the starlight. 

You take that as a yes.

No cameras, nobody around; it’s not an act when you let yourself get pulled from your chair, closer to him, the two of you standing now. At first his hands are gentle, holding your face almost reverentially, like he can’t quite believe he gets to touch you like this without having to put on a show for everyone, and you feel almost dizzy with his lips on yours. 

“I can’t believe I waited so fucking long to do that,” he murmurs, and your breath stutters from you, so overwhelmed that he wanted you, that he wants you, really wants you, that it’s all you can do to kiss him again. Rough this time, you card your fingers through his hair, tug, pull him close and kiss him desperately. He can probably taste on your tongue how much you’ve wanted him too. 

Wrapped up in each other, it’s better in this one moment than every other kiss you’ve shared put together. His tongue glides along your bottom lip, as if asking for entrance, and you deepen the kiss, all teeth and tongue, a gentle sigh when he bites your lip.

“Is this serious- are you -?” You pull back, breathless, hands still in his hair, and his smile is genuine as he leans back a little, arms still wrapped around you.

“How much more serious can I get?”

“This isn’t a bit, is it?”

“No it’s not a fucking bit,” he snorted, “honestly I can’t believe you’re doing this; the fake shit was your idea!” He’s still holding you close. Opening and closing your mouth for a few moments, looking a little like a fish, lost for words, lost for a response, you settle on;

“Exactly how cheesy can I be and get away with it?”

When he kisses you this time, it’s sweet and gentle, his smiles soft against your lips, and you hum happily against him. 

That night, you spend the night watching movies and making out, falling asleep half naked in his enormous, plush bed. When you wake, it’s to the sight of the sun painting his tattoos with light as he scrolls through Twitter on his phone.

[ID: A series of tweets between @duckduckbooth and @machinegunkelly.

@duckduckbooth posted a photo of Colson Baker, laying on his side in bed; the covers are black and there’s a sliver of sunlight that highlights his gentle smile. The wall behind him has a picture on it but it’s out of focus. Colson looks like he’s laughing, and he’s looking at something behind the camera, his hair is a mess. There’s something so gentle and intimate about the photo itself, like he’s just woken up, like he’s sharing a joke with the photographer. You. There’s a hickey that’s cut out at the edge of the photo.

The photo is captioned ‘those ocean eyes’.

@machinegunkelly has retweeted the photo with one of his own; of you, laying on your back in the very same bed, grinning, phone held in both hands above you, but you’re looking at him, expression fond and amused. The window behind you is open, with sunlight spilling through the crack of the curtain, hitting your mouth and chin, highlighting your own smile.

His photo is posted with the caption ‘shed a lot of tears just to smile in the mornin'. End ID.]

Everything has changed, everything has shifted; it used to be too much to touch him casually, to feel his skin burn against yours, but on set over the next few days, it’s a thrilling release, a reminder. He wants me, every time he touches you, he wants me. 

Before, it was such a performance, every action so carefully calculated to show that you were in love, never enough to scare him off, but now? You’re ferrying some paperwork for Josy to the offices at the other end of the film lot, and you pick him up a pack of cigarettes on the way back; his whole face lights up and he presses a kiss to your temple, with an easy ‘thanks babe’, and you feel lighter than air, and it shows.

“Everything work out?” Douglas asks you with an almost knowing smile, and you turn your nose to the air, pretending you don’t know what he’s on about, and he’s kind enough to play along, let you have this. 

Safe in the security of a genuine relationship, you’re not worried as you once were about the other actresses, not when you know you get to go home with him. Now, seeing him on set, the earlier jealousy you’d felt turns to pride as you watch him work.

“You guys are gross,” Josy says with a smile, watching your display of heart-eyes as drums ferociously behind the band, “it’s adorable.”

“We are not,” you tried, but he twirls his drumstick with a flourish and a smirk and your own grin widens automatically.

“Listen, as long as you’re on time, and you don’t smear his makeup, I don’t give a shit,” Josy shrugs, her tone equally nonchalant as it was blunt. You sigh, but they’re easy enough terms to agree to.

And then you’re travelling, the production going on location to different stadiums and theaters across the country, a few days at time, concerts put on to screaming fans, or more accurately, unpaid, enthusiastic extras. When you’re not with Josy, you entertain yourself well enough; you and Colson usually see the sights of wherever you are, at least when you’re not wrapped up in each other in the confines of your hotel room.

“Hello, I’m [Y/N] Booth,” you smiled at the camera.

“And I’m Machine Gun Kelly, and today we are reading thirst tweets,” he holds up a large, blue mug-shaped object with ‘Thirst Tweets’ written on it, before the title comes up:

Thirst Tweets with MGK & [Y/N]

“I’m gonna start with this one,” you half laugh, holding the little piece of paper up before yourself, already leaning on him just a little, and the tweet comes up on the screen as you read;

“I would let MGK and Duck beat me up and I’d say thank you,” you pause, before looking a little sheepishly at Colson, “that sounds painful - for them I mean.”

“Don’t you get comments like that all the time?”

“I know you do,” you half smile at him, and he laughs, nodding, “step on me Daddy Kells, or something like that?” He flushes, grinning.

“How dare you - that one’s probably in there!” And he fishes out the next piece of paper.

“Machine Gun Kelly looking like 80s Tommy Lee could do anything he wants to me - you haven’t even seen the movie yet!” He exclaims, while you just give a pleased little smile, “what?” He asks with a grin when he turns to you.

“It’s kind of a mood though,” you shrug helplessly, and he rolls his eyes fondly, before pulling out another tweet, giving it a read over and handing it to you to read.

“Duck is stunning, girl lemme lick ya.”

“Sorry dude, that’s my job,” Colson smirks, and you give a small, flustered shriek, though you were still grinning from ear to ear.