#after. idk. some considerable amount of time

[slimmestslime]

veeery miniscule wimblet doobles

[liliannadelaphinehartifelt]

Helloo!

Idk if you take requests , but could you maybe write a fic with Human!Alastor and male!reader where reader exaggerates his whole personality to comply with everyone else and is easily exhausted from it and Alastor "relaxses" reader in that way ?

Thank you in advance and have a good day !

Alastor - [ MASQUERADE ]

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A/N: This request really made me brainstorm but I've decided to break it into 2 parts. I hope you'll enjoy it! As always kindly lmk the artist of the fanart so I can tag them and give proper credit! ❤️

WARNINGS: [ SLIGHT NSFW ] + [ MDNI ] + [ SUGGESTIVE THEMES ] + [ MALE READER ] + [ FLUFF…if you squint ]

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“You're on air in ten minutes, Y/n. Pick it up before the host gets restless!”

Your so-called manager barked from the dressing room doorway, giving one last glare your way before strutting off, grumbling a string of curses you'd learned to ignore.

“Asshole…” you scoffed, turning back to the striped mirror of your vanity; the large bulbs that lit it gave enough light in the old stuffy backstage space, illuminating every detail of your appearance.

Not one thing could be out of place.

You wouldn't allow it, committed to your role as a rising preformer in the golden age of the stage, and conditioned to perfectionist standards from years of tribulations

Suffering behind a practiced smile won you your stardom. The ambiguous beauty you possessed helped immensely in your success on the silver screen, but the truest contributor to your fame was appeal.

Humourous, intellectual, but most crucial, sex appeal.

That's what kept your admires enthralled, permanently put you in the limelight from the start, and inevitably earned you considerable amounts of money.

You weren't opposed to being called a child of Dionysus himself, envied by those who wanted you. Still, the burden of putting on a show for everyone every day without giving them a glimpse of your faults was excruciating.

Yet, you chose the burden over sulking in the darkness, remaining among the ordinary when you so clearly had the makings of a star, and your status of high popularity among the masses was proof of it.

So be it if your cheeks ached from smiling at frivolous fans that your laugh sounded less like your own the more you forced it, that flirtations of others felt like empty praises, or that every project you agreed to felt less and less stimulating.

So fucking be it.

Fame is fickle; you knew this all too well, but your existence felt meaningless without it.

Empty.

All the world's riches, the undivided favor you garnered from the public, and the sparkling awards cluttered your penthouse display shelves…

Even with all that at your fingertips, you had yet to feel seen…

Seen and truly adored.

“Two fucking minutes! Get your ass in position. This interview is being broadcast live, remember?” your manager harped at you from the hall, causing you to grunt in frustration before yelling back, “Would you shut your trap?! Fucking hell…I'm coming!”

You set aside the whiskey glass in your left hand, ran your right through your recently styled hair, and checked your reflection one last time.

“It's only a radio show. One little interview and you can go home and get black-out drunk…” the idea of spending some much-deserved time alone after running around doing a press tour brought a sad smile to your face as you stood and exited the dim room.

This would be your last stop, an interview with Louisiana’s prided radio host, and the last person you'd need to put a show on for before returning home.

“Finally…” your manager grumbled as you stepped into the hall, giving you a once over as the two of you strolled down the hall towards the host recording area, “Don't fuck this up. People say this ones a real talker and can make or break ya..” he mumbled begrudgingly.

You paid his incessant pestering no mind, flashing him a suave smile as you both stopped before a heavy door, “Don't tell me you're starting to care about my reputation now? Thought you only saw me as a nice money grab…”

Your smile grew as laughter bubled in your chest, seeing the other slowly become agitated at your backhanded comments.

“Why, you little-”

“Oh, don't be rude, sir. You'll spoil my good mood, and god knows sour spirits bring bad luck,” you smirked, enjoying the scrunch of his nose as his expression reflected his true nature, but before he could snap, you pushed the door open and slipped into the soundproofed station room.

What a fucking pain he is…

You cursed the raging man outside, sighing softly as the sound of jazz lingered through the air and the smell of freshly brewed coffee mixed with a distinct cologne engulfed you.

The space felt and looked inviting, relaxing even, but what caught your attention was the man who occupied it.

He sat in a desk chair across the small room, facing a table full of controls and a mic to match. His face was lowered from the device, glasses resting comfortably on the bridge of his nose as he stared at what you assumed was a script for your conversation with him, but the simmering amazement overtook your curiosity about the paper he held you felt hearing him hum along to the song he was airing.

You didn't dare move an inch closer, satisfied with watching and listening to him from afar, oddly entrapped by the silent allure he cast.

It was no mystery that people loved the sound of his voice. You'd be fooling yourself if you said you hadn't found his commentary enchanting, but looking at him in the flesh, you were sure he'd flourish on the silver screen like no other.

He could indeed win the eyes of many…

Yours especially, and to some degree, he had already, but you hesitated to admit it even as he turned to face you.

Oh…. he is a beauty, that's for sure…

That was the singular thought in your mind as he smiled, standing from his seat before approaching you with all the confidence you'd merely portrayed.

“Hello there. You must be Y/n L/n. I'm Alastor Hartifelt. It's a pleasure to meet you, my friend!”

His voice was as smooth, melting into the background melodies inexplicably, and your heart lightened immensely as he held out a hand for you to shake.

“The..the pleasure is all mine, Mr. Hartifelt..” you inwardly scolded your delayed greeting, losing track of your practiced charm relatively quickly in his grasp. Still, in seconds, you recovered from the blunder while returning his smile.

Alastor took you in with a glance up and down your figure, cataloging every detail of your appearance out of habit, but when his gaze met yours, one thought crossed his perceptive mind.

Longing?

How curious…

You hid the familiar emotion well; seeing past the veil of contentment wasn't tricky, and though he was tempted to bring it forth.

You two shook hands briefly but firmly. Alastor stepped back, gliding his hand out to mention towards the recording station. “Come, have a seat, and please call me Alastor. We will be on air after all; formalities aren't necessary for an engaging broadcast.” His smile grew, emitting an unearthly kindness as you nodded in understanding before sitting in the chair opposite his.

“You make an excellent point, Alastor. I hope we enjoy each other's company.” You chuckle softly, feeling a tad nervous for a reason unknown but genuinely harboring a rise in excitement, hearing him respond promptly.

“I have no doubt we will…” Alastor muses more to himself, a delicate edge to his voice as he trailed behind you, and a certain twinge of intrigue rattled your spine at the implication.

For the first time in a long time, you weren't dreading the inclinations of your fame, gradually succumbing to the sparks of joy Alastor evoked with the most straightforward words and becoming surer of the fact as he took his seat next to you.

“Shall we begin?” he implies cheekily, and you reply in a quick, witty fashion, “We shall.”

————-

“Care for a drink, my friend? I believe we’ve earned ourselves a cold glass of whiskey… that is, If your evening is unreserved.” Alastor made the offer moments after switching your respective microphones off, quickly arranging the recording panel to a specific setting as he listened for your response.

Your mouth moved quicker than your mind; a distinct rush overtook at the thought of spending more time with the charismatic radio host, “I'd be delighted to join you. I must agree that our interview went quite well. It's rare to have an easy conversation with a stranger these days..”

Alastor raised a brow, sparing you a glance as he finished sliding keys and flicking switches into place to keep a calming stream of music lingering in his broadcast, “So, I'm still a stranger to you?… My, and I thought we were getting on so well…“

He spurs you casually, an air of hurt in his expression, and it stuns you, causing a red hue to rise on your cheeks, “Th-that's not at all what I meant, Alastor…” Your lower head twinges of embarrassment staining your consciousness, and for the third time that evening, Alastor had chipped away at your charm.

He enjoyed it….

Seeing you falter and conform to his standards, though you didn't need to, at any time, you could've remained indifferent to him and taken your leave the moment he shut your mic off, but you remained.

Solely because you'd grown attached to him or the defect he had on you.

Humbling, genuine understanding, but above all else, validation.

“My dear, I am only poking fun. I take no offense to your words, and I hope you'll grant me the same courtesy!” Alastor reached for you, thumb and forefinger slipping under your chin to lift it, and you obeyed his gesture with a soft smile. “Oh…I…”

You paused, swallowing thickly as he raised himself from the chair, head lowered toward yours as he stood above you.

Had he always been so tall?

So brooding?

You weren't entirely sure, but your heart raced, every nerve in your body tingled with anticipation as if you were a deer caught in his headlights, but you couldn't retreat or evade him.

“You what?..” Alastor cooed quietly, chocolate eyes on fire with an emotion you'd long forgotten but returned subconsciously.

Control.

You needed to be back in control, or the next breath between you two might lead to something…

Your mind played scenario after scenario, beginning to short circuit as he peered down at you, lips only inches from yours, and his other hand reaching to caress your cheek. His touch is searing, warmer than those you'd felt before, intentional, and your entire being buzzed in his grasp as if in a drunken stupor.

He was dangerous… able to tear through your facade easily, which was terrifying.

Polarizing.

Don't let him get any closer…

Keep him at a distance…

You've only just met him...

Warnings rang in your head, but your eyes lowered to his lips, and your voice remained quiet as you responded to his question.

“I" 'd like to have that drink before the night ends. Wouldn't you?"With a gentle nudge of your head and a soft laugh, you draw away from Alastor's touch. The space between you increases, and the ability to breathe becomes less strenuous as you stand to your feet, collecting your overcoat before slipping it on, "I'm not familiar with the city yet, so I'll leave it to you to show me around." The chipper in your tone amuses Alastor; you'd perfected the art of illusion so well that in the clutches of what some might consider an intimate moment, you balked and reclaimed sensibility like it never occurred, though you wished for it to carry on further.

He'd met and spoken to his fair share of actors, learned their ticks and telling habits, and used it against them when he saw benefit in toying with them.

However, being able to see right through you evoked another motive for the host, and he dared to think it was mutual.

"Well, I'd be honored to show you the ins and outs of this lively town I call home so long as you promise to keep up," Alastor retrieves his coat, a heavy jet black trench withered accents paired with matching hat, stylish in all the right ways -presumably warm to be in. Still, you were sure if he ventured into the night dressed like that, any stranger would fear him.

They had good reason to, but you didn't need to know why.

Not yet…

With a coy smile, you followed Alastor out of the station, matching his strides as he paved the way to a nearby speakeasy, "You'll find it quite entertaining, my friend. Few visit at this hour, but my dear Mimzy puts on a vine show regardless!" Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of Alastor being infatuated with another, for what reason you weren't sure, but your disappointment flashed clear in your eyes that he took it upon himself to clarify his remark.

"She is an old and loyal acquaintance. Nothing more. Nothing less."

You perked up at the explanation, face burning with a blush as you raised both hands to dissuade his interpretation of your expression, "I understand. You needn't explain anything to me-"

Alastor halted in his tracks, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he peered at you curiously, "Hm, so you did assume we were something to begin with?..."

Shit, was I that obvious?...

"Not at all..." you lie, as calm as ever but internally conflicted.

How could he go about messing with you so boldly?..

And why did it excite you?..

"Your eyes say otherwise, my friend..." he counters your nervous reply with a smug smirk, beginning to walk off as if he wasn't toying with your head, "My eyes?..." you whisper in response.

"They are the doorway to the soul...I've learned to walk through said doors, and you, my dear, hide a lot of fears behind them." Alastor chuckles, ears tingling as you reclaim your spot at his upon reaching your destination. Still, you're less concerned with the dark alley lit with a singular neon sign situated above a heavy lead door and more worried about what he is implying regarding your emotions.

Who was he to know anything?

Sure, he was pleasant to be around, an avid intellectual with a knack for continuing conversation with you, and you had no reason to believe he'd been faking his friendliness to you from the start...

That still gave him no right analyzing you, prod at your exterior with more confidence than necessary, and you intended to let him know it.

A glare beset your expression, mouth open to speak, but you weren't allowed to do so as the lead door swung open.

Alastor guided you close to his side as a gaggle of patrons spilled from the doorway, ranting and raving about the time they had inside. Their rowdy behavior irked him, but you did not comment on the matter as he placed a hand on your back to lead you inside after their dysfunctional departure.

“Drunken idiots,” he mumbled begrudgingly, and for the first time you'd seen the radio host truly bothered. He'd been so composed during your interview, inviting and flirtatious on and off the air, so getting a glimpse of his annoyed state felt like a treat.

At least you knew he had flaws, insignificant but telling ones.

“Um. Alastor, you can..” you paused, unsure if you wanted to let him know he was still holding onto your waist as he led you inside the dim speakeasy. Alastor hummed, irritation gone, and his coy smile widening as you shuffled alongside him. “Y-you can let me go now.”

“Oh, nonsense, my dear! I wouldn't want you to run into unsavory characters like the ones that just passed..”

He quickly navigated the lingering crowd, clearly familiar with the club's layout, and you marbled at its unique atmosphere as he led you through it. “I can handle myself, Alastor,” you tried again to reason, but Alastor was quick to give a response as he ushered you to sit at an unoccupied lounge chair complete with a table and lamp.

“I'm sure you can but I'm rather fond of keeping you close.” He sat next to you after setting his coat and hat aside.

What did he mean by that?..

“How selfish of you,” you feigned disappointment as he shifted to face you with a soft chuckle leaving his lips, “Would you be so kind as to forgive my greed for your attention?” Alastor stares you down, noting how you bite your lip, another nervous tick you'd yet to disregard in his presence. “I'll consider it if you buy me a drink or two..”

The suggestion was meant to sound confident, unmothered by the mounting pressure in your chest, but it came out breathless. You were sure that you'd mastered the art of indiffenece, permanently established a mask of charm, but as much as you wished to maintain the certainty…

Alastair disproved it with little more than a gesture or equally compelling word.

It was unsettling, intoxicating too, but undeniably riveting.

“A small price to pay,” he mumbled, eyes lowering to your lips as you laughed softly and leaned back to admire the other patrons roaming or dancing around. “I never said I was cheap..” you taste him, gaze drifting to him as he shifted closer. You wanted to jump out of your skin as his arm came to rest behind you, head lulling to ward your cheek as he breathed into your ear. The resulting warmth made you shiver, quickening your breaths, and your body tingled with intrigue.

“No…” Alastor affirmed your jest, free hand raising your chin, tilting your head to face him as he continued, “…but you are desperate to be loved. One might say that's just as inappropriate, mon Cher..”

His tone dripped with condensation, a sensual purr loud enough to drown out the jazz and chatter surrounding you, and for a moment, he was all you could comprehend.

You should've felt angry, unsettled even, but his words struck a more profound emotion.

Comfort.

You weren't crazy, a constant wonder for the masses to marvel at and never care about.

Alastor could see you.

He wanted to…

“And so what if I am? Why would it concern you?..” there was no harsh undertone to your question, and it earned a sultry hum of amusement from him. “You've interested me, so I must not ignore your charade. I'm partial to the truth of a person, and you, my dear, abandon it in the hopes of success..”

Spot on.

It is shamelessly hurtful but direct nonetheless.

You clicked your tongue dismissively, attempting to turn your head away from his grasp, but Alastor held you tighter.

A glare crossed your face at the brushing grip he established, but a pool of excitement rushed to your crotch as well.

“I'm not one of your scripts to read, Alastor..” you scoff, rolling your eyes to make your point clear, but he isn't affected by the arrogant gesture.

“My apologies if it seems that way, but my intention to know you, inside and out, is purely innocent...”

“I find that hard to believe…” you retort, very aware of the minimal space between you two, and it became harder to focus on anything else but his soft lips that were stretched thin into a smile.

God, I was doomed from the beginning… you think to yourself as you laugh at your shameless line of sight. “Believe what you wish, my friend, but I enjoy being the object of affection..”

“That's inappropriate to suggest,” you mutter, face burning with blush and your hands raising to grip his wrist and collar. Alastor hummed, amused by your denial, “Mm, I suppose it is…would you like another apology?”

You shake your head, tugging him in by the collar of his shirt, eyes lifting to his, full of determination, “A kiss will do just fine…”

He holds your gaze, checking for mockery, but there is none. “That's the first honest thing you've said all night, mon cher,” Alastor points out in a hushed tone, lowering his head to place a slow kiss on your lips as they pull into a satisfied smile.

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I rewatched Heartstopper for this. Was it helpful? Yes. Did it make me cry harder than the first time I watched it? Also, yes. Will I forever love that show?… (yes). Again, this is just part 1! The second half is being drafted. Please look forward to it. I'm not sure it'll include smut…but I'll debate on that later.

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

He's so cheekyyyy but I love him for it hehe like he’s just the right amount of ‘cocky asshole’ ya know? ❤️ credit to creator!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi! I’m a young person with a vagina and the few times I’ve tried to finger myself it’s been a bad experience. After a lot of preparation I got one (1) finger in and it hurt + didn’t feel good at all, no matter how I moved it. And while I didn’t use lube I was properly wet and used a considerable amount of saliva. Is there something up with that? It feels like vaginal sex is completely out of the question to me and idk if there’s something wrong with me

hi anon,

so, first off, you really should get some lube. saliva isn't really a lubricant; it's just wet. (if you need to worry about your parents spotting something, consider trying a fragrance free lotion. do not consider vaseline, please and thank you.)

secondly: okay, so, vaginal penetration is a brand new activity for you, right? you're asking your body to do something totally new. let's imagine that instead of fingering yourself, we're talking about, idk, rock climbing. why rock climbing? well, I do that, and I like it, and I know what I'm talking about.

the first couple of times I went rock climbing, I had no idea what I was doing. I fell down a lot, my technique was inefficient and sloppy because I had no idea what my body was even capable of doing that might work better, my hands ACHED from clinging to the wall, and my muscles would hurt for DAYS afterward because I was completely unaccustomed to using them like that. I was having a lot of fun, for sure, but I was hurting because I was in a long adjustment period.

that kept up for a long time, because I was hitting the gym to climb pretty infrequently. it wasn't until recently, when I finally committed to a membership and trying to get out to climb at least once or twice a week, that climbing started going easier on my body. my hands are developing the protective callouses they need, and I rarely ever noticed my body aching the day after I'm at the gym because my muscles have gotten to recognize this pattern. I understand better how to use my body to my own advantage, where I can push myself and when I nee to dial back and take it easy.

the point being: you're never going to get the best results the first couple times you try something, especially not something that you have to little frame of reference for previously. at least I was familiar with using my arms and legs for other things before I got into climbing; most people don't have a ton of experience with putting things into their vagina, especially not for pleasure.

tl;dr: what you're experiencing is normal. what you need if you want vaginal sex to be feasible is, likely, more practice (with an abundance of lube). HAVING SAID THAT. if it does not feel worthwhile to pursue this, that's also 100% fine; there is absolutely no requirement that you enjoy vaginal penetration. it doesn't need to be part of your life if you don't want it to, and there are very much other ways to be sexual.

[mapicccc]

Hi! I know I just sent you an ask a few hours ago but uhm. There's something on my mind.

So I've only been into lifesteal for like. 3 weeks? Maybe a bit more or less. Point being is that I don't know anything about the SMPs history other than the couple of videos I watch & what people live blog about season 6 LMAO. Anyway not important I'm just rambling LMAO sorry I get rambly in these.

ANYWAYS. My question is: When did Devotion Duo start? From what I gather it seems it was around season 4? but idk if that's right. All I know is that they'd had to have been together for a while for their relationship to be where it is now.

I just thought I'd asks since their dynamic seems to be fun & all the analytic posts I find about them seem very interesting (also all the art bangs. not a single miss that I've seen so far). So I'm interested in the very start of it and how it was.

Thought I'd ask you since you seem like the Devotion Expert around these parts /silly.

technicallyyyyy they go all the way to s2 when zam was added and have teamed at least partially Every Season since then, but due to s2 vods missing + a lot of current fandom members (including me) getting in during s4 + Their Arc happening then, s4 is veryyy popular with them.

short version, I have a list of vods going over one arc that revolves around them here

what i mean by Their Arc:

a small break down of s4 with them, zam first got back on ls about a month late so everyone else was already in teams, he kinda just gravitated towards mapicc and ro (teammate awesome) before officially joining them (vod here, around 3:38. zam works in a lot of their plans, he was a part of the prison (a short event where TA locked players in and offered a reward to get them out), medusa (lead by roshambo and helped by mapicc & zam, he worked to turn spawn building into obituary and covered his tracks by trying to seem like they were the ones searching for the culprit), and most notably, dupe war. dupe war was a project by spoke invloslving mass during of items and gear, claiming to use it to defeat another team (APO, not crazy important here) (in reality it was involved with wormhole stuff but fell through). as lot of dupe war wasn't streamed so we don't know exactly zams thought process through it all, but at the end of the war when all exploits were meant to be destroyed, mapicc revealed he and spoke hid away some stashes. zam was acting like this was fine while they were there but spent a Considerable amount of time after they had left debating taking these dupe stashes, ultimately deciding they would be best in his hands.

this was the catalyst for castle arc, an arc revolving around devotions and affecting them Heavily.

mapicc saw it as a betrayal, and did not take kindly. when they had their team awesome meeting (commonly referred to as Home sweet home, hsh for short) to confront zam, numerous times mapicc mentions wishing he could go with what zam said but no longer trusting him. I Highly recommend watching this vod if not any others, it is the single vod is have watched the most. I also have a transcript of it here (don't mind the typos, I still haven't gotten around to editing it)

and All of that is just lead up to castle arc, where mapicc hunts zam down again and again and again. while not part of castle arc, over the course of almost the whole season mapicc finds 4(mightve been 5?) of zams bases, it's a scene of hatred and carnage and violence.

and yet.

they still end the season together.

mapicc still choses zam over anyone else, over ro who had been by his side the entire time, over spoke who gave him power, he wanted to end the server with zam as the chaos of wormhole was concluding.

they really are a despite everything situation. anyone else would have refused to work together after what they had been through, but that wasn't even the first time they fought together after the betrayal. they have this constant yearning to be by each other's sides, whether that be for or against.

a very important quote for them, the source of their name, "and all of my devotion turns violent"

soooo that's s4!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna be honest I don't know s5 devotions that well (would recommend asking @derww about them if you want to know more) as for s6 there's just. so many small things. mapicc wanting zam to come back to fighting after refusing for so long, being so excited when he agrees. early empire streams he was wishing he was teaming with zam again. zam Constantly bringing up mapicc yesterday when thinking about teaming with derap. like he did Not need to do that. it's so amazing the way their devotion has evolved.

I've had issues in the past with links not embedding so also putting them down here in order just in case

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

a bit of emotional ramble on Harding's romance

There's something funny and endearing about playing the silliest damn Rook and see the romanced companion crushing on them.

But also there's something about it especially in Harding's romance. And only partially because Rook being a lovestruck fool is a big part of most of their scenes by default. ("Knew you couldn't resist my moves" oh my god, shut up indeed :D said affectionately.)

But like. I made my Rook purple silly (coping mechanisms yada-yada). And the amount of times she couldn't land a joke in a romance-related scene is truly something.

And Lace does look exasperated every time, but also... lovingly? Like, sure, Rook is a fool, and here she goes again joking, but that's her fool. (And Rook does make up for every joke with genuine support at the same time, so it never cheapens the interaction in any way).

And I am politely putting the rest under the cut because pictures are incoming.

And then like. I somehow made my Rook especially smiley in CC (is it a dwarf thing? are the eyebrows at fault? is it something else? idk but she looks noticeably more smiley at almost any given time than my other Rook or my friends' Rooks. In a silly way).

Like, look at her.

She just walked in and Emmrich told her to "stand over here, please". Doesn't know what's going on. Just happy to be there. Look at that goofy face.

And.

Uh-huh! She sees that goof and is fucking smitten instantly!

I don't know I just find it all so sweet and endearingly funny I'm gonna explode. Get yourself a woman who will groan at your jokes but also love them. She's the "Oh my god she's so stupid I can't believe I'm going to sleep with her. No, no, I'm gonna" meme in the best way.

And the best part is all that kinda pays off?

After returning from the [that one spoiler place] and while having the romance scene in Rook's room I, after some consideration, had Rook joke again. And holy shit that time it sounded. Defeated. Sorta self-deprecating. She barely finished the joke, looked at her feet, it was voiced and played off as SUCH a poor attempt at shielding behind the laughs.

And Harding gently shushes her. And Rook says okay.

(And also later. When they sit together. THAT'S when the purple options finally land and make her laugh. Two times in a row, in fact. Which could mean nothing)

I don't know where I'm going with this, this is not an analysis of any kind, I'm just rambling. There's something about the dynamic that gets me. The core is the same regardless of the tone - the support, the trust, the mutual "together" part. But this added layer just makes me so squishy about them.

(In case of my Rook it's also, accidentally, a mirror. She had very rough first 15-ish years of her life, and her "If I'm funny people will treat me better" is such a mirror to Lace's "If I agree with people they will like me".

And then they meet and get into all this bullshit together and get to see behind each other's masks in real time.)

[fryingpan1234567]

listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone

anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans

(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)

Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home

I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood

Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong

COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏

HELP

No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting

(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)

After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful

Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you

Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen

Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years

He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff

Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful

Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal

The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay

God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.

There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time

Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself

On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving

Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person

Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes

(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)

Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners

“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“

Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out

“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”

Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”

“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”

The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.

”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“

No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it

Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard

Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me

He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER

Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.

It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good

Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it

Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things

Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room

Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever

gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)

good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this

[thechibilitwick]

more ramblings that sit in my drafts for an unspecified amount of time before i eventually decide to finish and post them!!! (also sorry if someone has already done an analysis like this i just thought it was an interesting detail)

today I shall go over what I believe the woman that Kazui is seen with in Half is supposed to represent. (+ some general analysis)

This lady is basically the reason why the entire cheating theory existed in the first place, and understandably so. But after his T2 voice drama, Kazui confirms that he never actually cheated (also his wedding ring is. right there. on his finger. man.) If that's the case, then who is this woman? If he didn't cheat, why would a random woman be in his MV? I actually think the answer might not be that complex:

The woman simply represents women.

For one, there are two other side character in the MV besides this lady: Hinako and the bartender. Moreover, both of those characters have a significant difference from the woman: they don't have a full set of facial features.

I personally believe that Kazui views them without eyes because they are people he finds painful to remember. Therefore, the woman still having her eyes visible would mean that she isn’t as significant as Hinako or the bartender.

Moreover, the way the woman is framed has a lot of implications.

The first scene establishes a correlation with the lady and Hinako. Both scenes are framed similarly, and both have Kazui staring at them. (with the same "i'm such an old man. yaoi." look on his face idk how else to describe it) The only difference is that there are two different versions, or sides, of Kazui.

Kazui in the bar, suit and all, has been heavily implied to represent his “true desires”. He's the one that notices Kazui watching from the audience and makes him notice the apple, and the one who appears in the champagne glass in Cat.

Kazui in the house, less dressed-up than bar Kazui, likely represents how he believes he should act. He looks upset over the distance between him and Hinako and he’s the one who's shocked upon realizing his actual feelings.

With this in mind, the transition between both women has implications on the way Kazui views them and in turn how he views women (in terms of his desires vs. what's expected of him.)

The second scenes then implies what it specifically is that both sides of Kazui feels about women.

The first scene starts off with Kazui in the house, staring down at his wedding ring with a sizable distance between him and Hinako.

Then the scene shifts to Kazui in the bar, where the woman is probably drunk, and leaning onto him with possible hints of intimacy. Yet he ends up putting the woman aside.

This is where what the lady possibly represents becomes a bit more clear. Similar to Magritte's art (which Kazui's MVs regularly reference), the woman is not a literal woman, but the representation of a woman. Kazui pushing away the woman as his desired 'true self' could mean he doesn’t feel the need to comply to the expectation of being attracted to or in a relationship with a woman.

Both scenes also contrast each other. The distance between Kazui and either woman as well as the way he reacts to said distance are the opposite. Kazui and Hinako have a considerable gap between them, and he feels guilty for this because of the expectation of being in a (heterosexual) marriage. Despite believing that this is what's 'correct' and what'll lead to happiness, he's still somehow failing.

Kazui and the bar lady have practically no space between them, yet Kazui is able to put her aside because he doesn't feel the need to conform. Even if she's conventionally attractive and is being intimate with Kazui, he quite literally does not give a shit.

Ok this is kinda getting wordy so I shall close off here. tl;dr I personally think the bar lady serves the purpose of symbolizing women, marriage, and maybe even heteronormativity, in order to express Kazui's conflicting views. Maybe I'm actually wrong and she really is an existing person, but uhh hey the themes still hold up in regards to Kazui soooo

(also it's possible that the woman is purposely between him and the bartender in both scenes, because societal norms still get in his way of his actual feelings or smth idk i can't word anymore)

anyways that's all i hope this makes sense 🥹

[kiefbowl]

hi! do you have any advice for negotiating a higher salary? i think the job i was hired to do a few months ago deserves a better pay but idk how to go about asking for it

This is so spooky I was literally thinking about making a post about asking for more money this morning. you must have been listening to my thoughts lol

Yeah, I have some advice, but keep in mind that different companies and industries might have little quirks I'm not aware of, take these points as very broad advice you might want to adapt for your own personal situation:

If you company does any kind of raise schedule (as an example: every year on your anniversary you are entitled to a 1-3% raise based on performance) - if you're about 8-12 weeks until that time, try to hold out until after you get that raise. I only suggest this because almost all companies will tell you the raise you negotiated takes over as your new raise schedule, so this is really just to get more money in the long run. The 8-12 weeks benchmark is just a suggestion to try to keep your request to negotiate and your scheduled raise in different financial quarters, which might help.

Have a clear goal of what you're asking for. Clear doesn't mean "super specific" but it can. At minimum, have the number you're going to be asking for. What's probably better though is to have the number you're going to be asking for if nothing else changes, and what more you'd be willing to do for even more money than that.

Only answer questions that are asked, only provide information as needed. You can start the conversation by saying "I'm coming to you requesting a raise" and let them respond to that. You can say things like "My duties have expanded including xyz" and you can say things like "I think my skillset is valuable" and "I think I provide x value to the company because of y reasons," but don't just launch into a spiel about what you think you deserve without seeing how they react first.

Talk in numbers. Just get straight to the point when they ask how much. Have a number for the amount per year if salary/amount per hour if hourly, plus convert that number into the percentage raise it would be. Asking for 20% more is a big ask, you know what I'm saying? Even if it's fair on the market for you industry, if they're paying that low from the market it means it's built into their business plan and you might want to consider a different company. and if they set a precedent with giving you 20%, they don't have much to stand on when you go tell all your buddies and they start asking for 20%. And if that's the situation at your company, at that point, you might wanna consider just unionizing instead lol.

It's good to consider the other guy on the other side of the table when you're negotiating. People give you things you want if you're considerate of the things they want. Some things to keep in mind that might be on your boss's plate: annual budgets, quarterly budgets, hiring quotas, hiring freezes, established pay structures decided by powers that be way above them that they have no control over, the fact that they will have to take your request to their boss and/or HR to get approval...like speak intelligently to these concerns as best you can. And be in a quid pro quo mindset. The argument is either "I already do this incredibly valuable thing you don't want to lose so give me more money or I will stop doing this by going elsewhere" or "I will do even more incredible value you don't want to lose if you give me more money, or I will do nothing by going elsewhere." Focus on what do they get and what do they lose if you don't get what you want. Except in professional parlance :)

Have confidence that you have every right to just ask. You are not some shit covered indentured peasant speaking to your god appointed king. You are a human person who is allowed to have adult conversations with other adults. If you can keep that confidence of "I'm just an adult having a normal conversation" it'll keep you on track and not get swayed into whatever tangets your boss my hem and haw on. Short, sweet, and to the point as best as possible.

Your boss is probably not fantastic at negotiating because almost no one is. So don't even sweat it. Ambush them a little, be polite, lay it on the table, then ask them what's next. If they seem to be hesitant, weird, put off...you could read malicious evil intent into it, but they're probably just woefully under-prepared and might flail a bit as some distraction. Just be like "Well, we can table this and I'll follow up with you on Friday" if it really seems like they can't get nail down an answer, or if you know they have to talk to their higher up anyway.

You might just get it. It might be the easiest thing you've ever done. I've countered and gotten exactly what I've wanting in 0.005 seconds flat. That's always a bit bittersweet because you just know you could have asked for more lol. Your boss might already have numbers at the ready for when people ask for raises, they just need people to ask. If you're company is doing well and pulling in good revenue, you will probably have a very easy conversation. So go get 'em.

Most importantly, show them your switchblade have fun and just be yourself!!!

[yuurivoice]

Did the thing Apple did with patreon user payments hit you especially hard or do you feel mostly the same?

It starts in November. I suspect there will be a level of suckiness that I can't really control. Will be posting about it in the next week or so as a reminder to folks and then...idk, say a little prayer I guess.

For those who don't know, Apple's app store situation is unfortunately standard, where purchases on an app basically have an Apple tax (30% or something ridiculous) so you'll see jacked up prices when making a purchase through iOS.

I worry that I manifested this because sometime over the Summer I made the mistake of going "huh, I wonder how Patreon gets around that?" and spoiler alert, they were just lucky for a long time. LMFAO

You can get around this by joining via web browser. It's just a bummer that a lot of folks won't know (and you cannot warn people at checkout or you'll get slapped) so it's just sorta...sharty.

Also, the amount of users on iOS is not insignificant, so the worry is that creators may get hit with a sizable percentage of folks who balk at prices and never come back.

Users who are ALREADY patrons do not get charged the additional fee, so that's cool. But if you drop and come back (via iOS) you'll get slapped with the charge. So, it blows.

I didn't get as up in arms about it as some other creators because I already knew that Patreon was playing with Apple's money and they would get got eventually. Unfortunately it happened like...a month or two after I mentally clocked it. LOL

I think the recipe for creators to combat it is to just be vocal about it when pitching your Patreon. Mention it, let people know how to get the best value for their dollar. Don't be ashamed to sell yourself, you're offering a product and hopefully a value that people recognize and would like to make that exchange for!

Corporations suck, and I wish they had some sort of special consideration for creator-centric platforms. A flat tax on the app company vs targeting users at checkout. Anything. But they definitely have such a significant userbase that they can sling their meat all over the place, so...fuck em.

[spaceorphan18]

I just have some thoughts and, I just... they're just thoughts with zero intention of being inflammatory or derogatory. (I do respect all the other ships on the show, enjoy Kanthany and am looking forward to Benedict/Sophie, and am slightly annoyed I even have to have a disclaimer, my god fandom, sometimes...)

I think that in one way that Bridgerton, as a show, struggles a little (and I suppose I mean struggle loosely) is that it's chaffing between wanting to be (what is essentially) an anthology show vs a regular TV show where the characters are developed long term.

I think Simon and Daphne's story works within season 1. But like the book(s), it's a self-contained story that isn't intended to go beyond the happily ever after other than a cameo here and there. (I do hope Daphne comes back eventually to cameo, it's a shame she wasn't in season 3.) But their story isn't meant to go anywhere else.

Anthony and Kate is the most awkward story at the moment. Anthony is one of the few well rounded characters in the book, as he's the head of the household and in most of the books. And Anthony and Kate having to run the household feels a little like a missed opportunity to be developed on the show. Now -- I know it's because Jonathan Bailey is becoming hugely successful actor -- and the original premise of the show is supposed to be self-contained stories. But it's a shame, because I think Anthony and Kate have so much potential for good stories to tell, and I have a feeling they won't be.

The thing about Pen and Colin, though, is that they haven't been treated like the anthology format the two previous couples got. Their story has been treated in a more traditional, long-form tv style, in which the characters have grown and developed, and so Season 3 was their spotlight, but we've past that and... I still think they'll be getting a considerable amount of screen time in Season 4. (Obviously, not as much as Season 3 - and I hope people don't get their expectations up too much). But look at how much they both got to do in Season 1 and 2. It's A LOT. And Season 4 will probably be on par with that.

I'm super curious as to where we go from here. Season 4 kind of has its expected trajectory, and I can pretty much guess what we're in for (and am looking forward to it!)

But what happens after? Do Benedict and Sophie now fade into the background completely? What are we doing with Anthony now - which is still rich in possibility? Pen and Colin's story probably will wrap up (in a way) in Season 4 -- where do their individual arcs go, or will the by pushed back?

[And, as an aside that I don't really want to make -- if Nicola wanted to get off the ride, after Season 4 would be a good place to do it. I guess that depends on whether or not she becomes the next Jonathan Bailey -- and as much as I would love that for her as an actress, the Pen fan in me's heart would hurt]

And if you don't have these subplots in future seasons, what do we have? Neither Eloise's book or Francesca's book really have any sideplots (Francesca's especially) -- and yet you have all of these characters. I know they want to develop Gregory and Hyacinth more, but idk idk.

But I guess, back to my original point -- the further we go on, the less the anthology style works because we've started spending A LOT of time with these characters. I think the central romances will, for the most part, be fine, but the subplots and the previous couples and the long standing characters -- what does the show do?

I don't have answers, I'm mostly thinking out loud....

That all said - I really, really hope they get to Gregory and Hyacinth's books -- because I think there's potential for a lot of fun to be had in them. (I personally like them way more than Eloise and Francesca's books, so at least Netflix has one long term fan...)

[yeehawbvby]

When the Moon Fell in Love With the Sun | Ch. 10

March x F!Farmer

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventual smut)

Chapter Summary: March's birthday/some pre-Spring Festival shenanigans!

Author’s Note: Another obligatory "idk what type of technology exists and what doesn't" (my HC is that anything does, it would be, like, 90s-00s level stuff? Maybe?), alongside an obligatory "I know gold isn't in the game yet, I just thought it would give the scene it’s in some more oomph."

Hope y'all had a wonderful Halloween and that you enjoy this chapter :3

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

With the Spring Festival on its way, most of Mistria’s residents could be seen scrambling around in search of Breath of Spring flowers.

Those who often spent their time indoors such as the innkeepers and store owners often took to foraging, to keep things laxed while still giving it a fair chance. Ryis and Landen engaged in their typical work, finding flowers amongst the bushy leaves of the trees and bushes they chopped. The Dragonguard would lift rocks (which meant Luc often, to his excitement, found some new bug friends in the process), scoop up sea shells to peek into, and even clamor into the shallow ends of the river in hopes of finding some stray petals flowing through the water. 

December went on with her days as usual, finding plenty of flowers passively, just as she had done her first year in Mistria. March, on the other hand, would nonchalantly keep an eye on the areas near his workstation by day, and head into the narrows or mines to hit them out of some rocks by night. He wanted to win – his ego was on the line, after all – but there was no way in hell he’d allow the others to see it.

Olric once told the farmer that the only thing his brother hated more than birthdays themselves was being ignored on his birthday, especially with the event that took place immediately after. He couldn’t stand feeling overshadowed by the town’s “made up holiday,” as he had brutally dubbed it. That said, when March’s birthday came this year, December wanted to find that fine line for celebrating him where he would feel loved and important, but he wouldn’t get overwhelmed either.

So, she approached the grumpy birthday boy on her way to the mines with two mochas in hand, some sandwiches in her backpack – two to share with March now, and a third for later, when she’d need an extra boost – and a small gift, which was nestled safely under her arm and wrapped in red cloth.

“Goooood morning,” December grinned as she approached the anvil. 

She thought the cheery sing-song tone in her voice would annoy March a considerable but safe amount, so she was surprised to see how calm his face fell when he looked up at her. 

He couldn’t place his finger on why he was so relieved to see her. It wasn’t like his birthday was different from any other day, he lied to himself before wondering why this felt different.

Well, it was his first birthday in a long time with a partner. Maybe that was doing something to him.

He sighed, “Hey,” wiping the sweat from his forehead and placing his hammer down. 

The wall December tended to rest her things against had become the couple’s designated break spot too. When the farmer visited the forge, both in the far past and as they grew closer, they’d oftentimes find themselves leaning or sitting against the stone while they chatted and replenished their energy. Today was no different. Once they were in place, March took both coffees from December’s grasp so she could set down her bag. 

“Thanks,” she said, taking her own mocha back before handing March the present, “aaand happy birthday.” He glared at her. “What?” “Did Olric put you up to this?” “Why the hell would I need Olric to tell me to give you a birthday present?”

March’s eyes narrowed further, but he didn’t make any further accusations, instead taking a sip from his coffee. “Well, thanks.”

“‘Course.” December held out her hand to take March’s drink again so that he could open it.

Taking a quick note at the fabric, which matched his hair almost perfectly, he wondered if December had done that on purpose or not. 

She did. She specifically asked Louis if he could fold a piece into the dress she purchased a few weeks prior. 

March’s eyes widened as he unwrapped from said fabric the most perfect gold ore he’d ever seen. It was shinier than even the highest quality ingots he’d casted, it looked dense, and gods, he couldn’t wait to work with it. He almost didn’t even want to, it was so beautiful. The chunks of perfect ore in the museum — which he’d already been impressed by, and admittedly was even more so upon hearing who their donor was — couldn’t compare. 

March always had a bit of a natural flush to his complexion, but there was something about how it seemed to stand out more when he grinned this time that made December’s heart skip. He wasn’t necessarily blushing, but his face looked brighter. And while March pored over the metal in his hand, December observed the liveliness in his smile, making his dark eyes shine like onyx in the sunlight. The way his teeth ran a little yellowed — probably from all that coffee and chocolate consumption — and slightly crooked between his smooth lips. The softer look of his bare arms while he let himself relax his muscles, which he rarely did around people. The angle and shape of his perfectly groomed, thick eyebrows, sitting above his equally thick eyelashes…

March looked up, meeting December’s blatant stare with a beaming grin. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen him look so sincerely, wholeheartedly happy without alcohol in his system, or a laugh blossoming from his throat. He didn’t even tease her for ogling. 

“How do you even find these?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “I guess I have an eye for it.”

March rolled his eyes. “Or you’re just lucky to be good at everything.”

“Jealousy makes you look silly.”

“Well, you always look silly.”

December stuck out her tongue at him. March wanted so badly to shove it away with a kiss, but with Errol and Eiland walking past and waving their greetings to the two, he didn’t want to risk any more gossip being thrown around. 

So he glared at them. Eiland remained blissfully unaware and continued to ramble, fiddling with the Breath of Spring fashionably tucked behind his ear for safe keeping; meanwhile, the old curator silently wondered what he’d done to deserve the harsh glance. He knew March was a grump, but jeez, he thought to himself. He frowned while nodding along, still listening to Eiland as they disappeared into the narrows.

March went on, his eyes back on the ore in his hands, “Well…” he directed his sight to December’s again, “thanks.”

“Mhm,” she passively welcomed him as she placed the March’s coffee back in his free hand and bent down to dig through her backpack. She then pulled out a sandwich wrapped in parchment paper and placed it atop his cup. With a more formal tone akin to Adeline and Eiland’s, she added, “And your humble birthday breakfast, my liege.”

March moved to place his gift down on the anvil, and then took his seat in the grass, saying, “Your liege, huh?” 

December nodded, joining him. March’s face looked pink, but smug. “What?”

“I can get used to that.”

The farmer rolled her eyes, then playfully nudged him, “Well don’t.”

__

Once March finished up his work for the day, he decided to set out for the mines. December would probably still be there, but he knew she usually kept to the lower levels now that she had upgraded tools. If he went shallow, he wouldn’t risk running into her.

Or so he thought.

The first thing he saw when stepping off of the wooden, makeshift elevator was December’s pale eyes, wide and confused while she hit the finishing blow on a rock in her path. His expression was no different.

As she opened her mouth to question his presence, a small, slimy creature launched itself onto her cheek. “Eugh!” she expressed her disgust. 

Those guys were never very strong to begin with, but they didn’t hurt her much at all now that she was used to their stronger brethren in the tide caverns and onward. If she was going to be hit by anyone, she’d rather it be them — but she’d never get used to their cold, sticky, and almost slug-like texture. She ripped her assailant off of her face and flung it into a nearby chasm, promptly wiping her gloved hand on her pants.

“What,” she breathed, shifting her headphones to her neck and pausing her mp3, “the fuck are you doing here?”

March’s brain scrambled for a moment, before he deflected, tilting his chin up and narrowing his eyes, “I could ask you the same.”

December matched his posture, placing the hand on her hip for added effect. “I figured I’d search some of the safer floors for more flowers before heading out.” She took a few steps forward to meet him, then egged him on as she pieced together that he was probably doing more or less the same, “Your turn, pretty boy.” 

March flustered a little at the name she gave him and the tone in which she spoke. It wasn’t intentionally sexy, but he wouldn’t have known any better until she told him directly. His eyes widened from their accusatory squint to their normal shape on their own volition as he muttered, “P-pretty boy?” December nodded curtly, blind to her partner’s inner turmoil. 

The blacksmith took a second to just breathe. He couldn't go and get all riled up over something so simple, what with them being several dozen feet underground…

Or could he?

Imagery of December’s soft touch and supple skin standing out in contrast to the rough walls and caverns of the mines came and went through him in a flash.

He mentally scolded himself and shook his thoughts away. December wondered what the sudden movement was for, but didn’t question it. 

Next, March realized he wouldn’t be too embarrassed if she knew why he was down here. Knowing her, she was probably just excited for the competition. Realistically, they both were.

So, March decided, if she’s going to (accidentally) use words to try to distract and destroy him, why shouldn’t he do the same? He resumed his glare and rolled his neck and shoulders, before removing his pickaxe from its spot on his backpack. 

Then, he lilted, “We both know why I’m here,” tilting his head slightly down and her chin up to level their gazes. “So be a good little angel and get out of my w—“

A tiny monster almost identical to the one that had collided with December’s cheek just moments ago did the same to March. His eyes rolled shut and chewed his bottom lip while he otherwise froze in place, wondering, why do these things even exist?

He was positively malding.

December bit her own lip, failing to suppress her laughter as her shoulders and chest shook, shaky breaths coming out of her nose. She had to admit to herself that his plan almost worked. 

Almost.

While March removed that thing from his profile, December walked past, patting him on the shoulder. “Nice try,” she teased, before moving onto the next vein of copper she spotted.

March tossed the creature into the same chasm December had banished her own to before meeting up with her. He lightly bumped her hip with his to scoot her over and started to pick at the same ore.

“Nuh-uh,” the farmer laughed incredulously, “Go find your own rocks to hit.” 

March’s answer was all too nonchalant. “I want this one.”

December cursed under her breath. “Brat…”

She hip bumped him in return before getting back to work, accepting that she couldn’t budge him. Given the strength of their tools, it only took a few more hits each for the mineral, as well as some softer chunks nearby, to crumble. 

Lo and behold, a Breath of Spring appeared atop the rubble. 

The pair froze. For a short few beats, the only sounds to be heard were the soft chirping and pitter-pattering of cave bugs, the faint squelches and clacks and puffs of noxious air from the monsters that lurked below, and the occasional drips of the stalactites around them, their breaths firmly bated while they waited to see who would make the first move.

It didn’t take long for March to grow impatient, though. “…Mine.” 

As he reached for it, December practically tackled him. “No!” she exclaimed, using her last ounce of energy to shove her body into March’s line of sight and jumping forward, abandoning her pickaxe in favor of clinging to him like a feral koala.

“For fuck’s sake—” He stumbled in an attempt to keep upright, wrapping his arms around her and placing a palm to the back of her head for protection, in case they fell. “Are you stupid?!” he asked once they were stable.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” December didn’t budge. “Are you gonna move?”

“Will you take that flower if I do?”

“Obviously.”

“Then no.”

March sighed. She was light enough, he thought. He could work with this. “Hold on tight,” he warned, his smile sly while he crouched down and reached for the prize.

“No!” December jerked her head to peek behind her, her ponytail whipping around March and lightly slapping his opposite eye, to which he thought with a wink, ouch. “Wait—”

To her dismay, the flower was already in March’s hand.

“Too late, pretty girl,” he whispered into her ear. He pressed his lips just below it with a lingering peck for added measure.

Inhaling deeply, swallowing hard, and squeezing March harder, December understood why he reacted the way he had to her own words earlier. 

She slowly turned towards him, her hair tickling his shoulder as it drifted back to its rightful space behind her. He was already looking at her, so their noses were nearly touching when March noticed how his partner’s pupils had engulfed the blue of her eyes in a veil of black, like a whale lurking beneath an arctic ocean’s surface; and as his resolve began to weaken, and the urge to kiss her everywhere he could possibly reach strengthened, he wondered if they really needed these flowers.

“That’s not fair,” December grumbled. 

“What’s not fair is that you’re still attached to me.”

Without a sliver of remorse in sight, she plainly commented, “Hm. What a shame.” She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, and then his jaw, before trailing a few more down his neck, purring, “Give me the flower, March, please.”

He held his breath, contemplating the entirety of his life leading up to this point; and with a strain in his voice that hadn’t gone unnoticed by his parasite, he boldly refused, “Never in a million years.”

__

The blacksmith’s resilience paid off. The next morning, the results came through as follows:

Celine in first place, obviously,

March in second,

and finally, a sad, grumpy December in third.

[cherrysurf]

I HAVE A RQ!!! something with mattsun perchance? idk if u’ve ever written for him but maybe like baking a cake with him for his moms bday 🙂‍↕️ 🙂‍↕️

cake for the mother in law!

married, TONS of fluff i fear, comforting mattsun, hs sweethearts, crack

a/n- this is my second time writing for him i think i got better ngl

Tomorrow was mattsun’s moms birthday you were nervous to say the least leaving a good impression on your mother in law was the goal, even though yes you’ve been married for almost 2 years now and have spent plenty of holidays with his family. Heck she even calls you the daughter she’s always asked for but you still felt the need to be the best so here you are spending a concerning amount of hours on a good cake recipe for her birthday cake that mattsun so selfless and considerately made the decision that you and him would do the honors of making her an amazing birthday cake. You sit on the computer in the room when mattsun comes behind you and wraps his arms around you “ya know babe you don't have to stress about the recipe you always make the best desserts for holidays, i’m sure anything you’ll pick will

come out amazing” he mentions as he soothes your back “that’s not the point making stuff for the holidays is easy because it’s whatever and it’s all about the cute decorations and it tasting good but for your moms birthday it’s about the decorations the presentation and the flavor and if all those accommodate to her taste that’s so much more important” you say running your hands through your hair stressing about it all over again—

eventually you found a beautiful tiramisu cake recipe that you deemed just perfect after 3 tries just to make sure they came out the best they could and tasted the same, which you gave to neighbors or family on your side since you and mattsun didn’t want to get sick of it before his moms birthday, you insisted on mattsun helping to since you loved cooking and baking with him it was always an intimate experience that you too shared since the beginning of your relationship and during your friendship in highschool when he would beg and even sometimes pay just to have your desserts you like to think that’s what made him fall in love first before you but he says it was you and then your desserts that caught his eyes. He’d get teased by his former colleagues and volleyball buddies the way he’d constantly be eating cakes or cookies, he even got told he was going to gain an extra 5 pounds by oikawa from all of those sweets but he never cared. Not when they were from the pretty girl that he met in his class, who so happened to become his friend and now wife by some miracle, you’d never tell him but the reason why you even agreed to it was because of how cute you found him and how sweet he was towards you always walking you to class, bringing school work whatever you were sick and you were each other's biggest support in your early 20’s as you were trying to figure life out. Now here you are listening to silly music and cooking with his and hers matching aprons and mattsun eating a one to many lady fingers, life was perfect. Simple yet perfect you couldn’t have it any other way all because of a boy who loved a girl and her baked goods, I guess the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

so this happened a while ago but i still feel quite a bit of guilt over it and i’m honestly wondering whether i was in the wrong or not. i’m almost 18M now but i was 15M at the time (almost 3 years ago).

at the time of the pandemic i (15M) got very bored in quarantine and ended up making online friends with P (17NB) and later G (18NB) after P introduced me to G after the two had talked for a considerable amount of time.

the three of us were very close for a long time (this was the first friend group i’d had that referred to me as he/him, additionally as i had very little experience with online friends before now, and because P and G were both also trans like me it felt more comfortable).

P and G began dating after a while and met up once or twice, but as i live further away from them it was more difficult (additionally my mother was very restrictive on having online friends, so this was kept from her).

i had a very big puppy crush on both of them at this point but kept it to myself. however i did feel confused for a bit as although they were dating, P and G would tease me a little bit, calling me ‘good boy’ and sending me screenshots of them teasing each other ab their kinks then calling me a voyeur, stuff like that— in a teasing way, not in a genuinely flirting way but it made the crush a lot more intense for me.

P and G dated for almost a year but towards the end things started going wrong (at the end of the relationship, P started talking about how he didn’t feel attracted to G anymore because G wasn’t a cis man and didn’t have male genitalia. which came off as a little weird to me as both of them were transmasc?) but they agreed to part ways

they broke up soon after and i kept in contact with both of them seperately (probably not the best decision as P would constantly talk shit about G in a group chat even months after they broke up which i didn’t like). but P ended up suddenly talking to me and saying that i was talking too much to G, then giving me an ultimatum of either i stop talking to G or they wouldn’t talk to me anymore for their own mental health

this also happened on new years which just put me in the worst headspace i’ve been in ever. i ended up saying no, blocking P and telling G about it (even though G was a little disappointed that i’d been given that ultimatum in the first place and we just ended up not hearing back for a long while

the only reason something started up again was that later, a mutual friend of ours mentioned they had seen P post some concerning things on his story on instagram (about cutting off toxic people, more stuff about G, but also suicidal ideation kinda stuff on his close friends) and i realised i still had access to his vent account (which didn’t have a lot on there but enough that it would probably make the average person worry a bit).

G was worried about P even though they’d broken up and asked me to send him some screenshots of the vent acc’s newer posts so he could relay them to his family and hopefully get some help. i sent maybe three or four posts over and G sent the posts to his mom who then had a conversation with P. i then got a lot of messages from P calling me a horrible person and saying i was wrong, which i was really confused and stressed over because i genuinely thought i was doing the right thing and some of the things P posted were scaring me a lot. P’s two friends also messaged me later as well, calling me vile and saying i was horrible for doing what i did

i ended up apologising to P later because the guilt was eating me alive and i couldn’t take it anymore, and we ended up civil as the only thing we’d really talk about from that point was writing ideas for their blog, but then they decided to send me a random ‘congrats, you ruined my life’ emoji meme which made me really confused because i thought we were okay again. we haven’t talked for ages now but idk. the guilt gets to me sometimes and i think maybe i might’ve been horrible without realising because i genuinely wanted to help……. basically aita for sending the screenshots to G?

What are these acronyms?

[betweenyourlegs2]

Ur Boy Got Plowed!

I met the boyfriend of this girl I used to fool around with. We’re all part of the same theatre circle. I introduced myself and he was super nice — but I suspected he “knew who I was” (i.e. that I’d seen his girl naked before). He’s considerably younger than me. I watched him all night in this rehearsal with a gladiator costume on, revealing his muscular legs and arms. There’s this one part where he’d kneel down and you could see underneath his outfit to his white boxer-briefs! He’s just sooo attractive. We’re talking afterward, a lot, and he asks for clarification that I’m bisexual because his girlfriend told him so. And he reveals that he’s bi, also! Now we’re in the parking lot standing at each other’s cars, chatting away, starting to get into saucy territory. Everyone else drives away. He leans in and kisses me! We make-out and he asks when he’ll see me next. I tell him Tuesday and he highly suggests that I should be ready for some…action! Well, Tuesday rolls around and I’m all cleaned-up. Have barely eaten all day. Used half a bottle of body wash on my ass and cock! Idk what to really expect. Rehearsal ends and he catches me in the dressing room and invites me to come with him to the local Days Inn up the block. We rent a hotel room! I sucked this dude’s cock, he stroked me and ate my ass, and proceeded to FUCK ME RAW!! Oh my god! I was stifling screams the entire time. It hurt but felt amazing at the same time. He really fucked me! He doesn’t have the biggest cock, but it’s still a nice size. And he uses it so well! I lost track of time how long he pounded me. Then he asked for a another blowjob. I fucking took ass-to-mouth like a stupid little cock slut! He’s slapping his dick on my face. Then flips me around and fucks me even more!! Going faster and faster! Slamming into my tight hole! I was fucking dizzy by the end. He asks if he could cum in my mouth, so I take him ass-to-mouth again and he jizzes all up in my throat! I swallowed it all like a good slut. Then I start rubbing my swollen cock while I’m still knelt down in front of him until I squirt a huge amount of cum all over the carpet and his feet. I’m yelling his name as I cum! We made-out passionately with the taste of his seed still on my tongue. He says that he’ll have to involve his girlfriend next time! 😉 We left the hotel awkwardly, walk of shame, to the judgmental scrunched-up looks of the staff, and he drove me back to my car. We parted ways. I’m still on a high after receiving that D! Next time, I want him to cum in my asshole. And if his girlfriend’s there, we’ll have a threesome I guess! I went home with a smile on my face.

[timeregistry]

A Human's Touch (p.AI.nter x Reader) | Chapter 5

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Masterlist

Notes: Eyefestation jumpscare (like in my pressure runs) in this chapter only that that's bestie idk

also I was reading the chapter again cuz I do that and tell me why I saw the word unpleasant and the stupid gradient materialized in my mind T_T true jumpscare...

They indeed did not let you see Painter again in the afternoon.

A grumble escaping your lips as they told you a firm “no”. Which meant your afternoon was pretty free.

Normally, you would be annoyed by Sebastian (or vice versa), but it seemed that Urbanshade was really keeping him hostage the moment that he showed he was effective at his job. The only reason he did it quickly was because he valued his free time, but now it seemed that they just kept giving him more work with the promise of consequence if he doesn’t do it (which really sours his mood the times you see him. Evident by the grimace on his face).

However, it seemed that they really didn’t want you to do your more hands-on part of your job so instead you spent your time inside of your office reading files as you spent the rest of your workday in.

The next day, you went to the kitchen getting the usual breakfast only to realise that it was indeed empty, it wasn’t even the end of the week how was this even possible? You overheard one of your co-workers complaining about it exactly, only that you heard them mentioning explicitly their stolen lunch.

…You probably should talk with Sebastian about it.

Walking to your office, you took the paperwork that was in the pocket next to the door. It looks like there were new documents to look through, not as important if they didn’t give it to you directly.

Now inside, you put the folders on your desk, except you saw a bag on your desk. You raised your brow at it, opening it as you saw a collection of food items and a note.

“So you won’t be hungry, sleepy head.” Signed with a silly doodle at the bottom.

Of course it was Sebastian who raided the kitchen. Not only that but he even kept you in mind and left some items for you. How considerate.

For a second you wondered how Sebastian got inside your room but then you remembered how he borrowed your spare ID the other day just because he felt like it. The only reason you had an extra one was exactly because you had lost your last one (which surprise surprise, was just under your desk). You should probably ask for it back soon, Urbanshade wouldn’t be too happy knowing an MR-P has a high clearance key card.

Either way, you grabbed one of the things that Sebastian got for you, it wasn’t much but it was a lot better than what Urbanshade normally gave you. He really did cherry pick (and probably stole someone’s hard work too).

Looking at the time, you pondered how long you could wait until they would actually let you see Painter. You can tell the researchers really didn’t want you interacting with the computer still, but with enough insistence you should be able to still see Painter... As long as the other scientists don’t raise it up to your higher ups.

You still think about the one subject that you kept wanting to visit as each subject you only managed to progress very very little. But after a while, apparently it was raised to your superior that explicitly told you that you couldn’t continue working on that subject, which broke your researcher heart.

With all the subjects, you always wanted to see the different facets of them, hoping that with a different way of life, maybe they will be more effective and/or happy. But it is quite common for you to never see that part if the group in charge of the subject decides to complain to your superior that you are practically doing nothing.

The only reason why your superior was convinced all too easy to make you stop seeing certain subjects was thanks to the sheer amount of subjects in the Hadal Division. You can't begin to imagine how many other ones are in the other divisions. Not like you are planning on changing divisions anytime soon.

You were always "needed" somewhere else according to your superior. Your skills can be useful to subjects that actually need it.

Which is stupid, you're firm into believing that a lot of the subjects that they think don't need your skills are ones that need it the most! They just wouldn't understand because this is Urbanshade we are talking about, and they aren't quite known to be very nice.

Shaking your head, you decided to go check up on another one of the subjects, there were some you liked that you would visit more.

Some researchers didn’t hate your presence, which meant that you could visit some of the subjects yourself more than the average visits you were allowed.

Weirdly enough, Eyefestation was one of them.

Doing the usual testing before going into the room of Eyefestation, you did a quick sigh as you entered the room that had a big window displaying the shark. Sitting on the only chair provided as well as straight up the only piece of furniture in the room, you looked down at your notebook as you always did to avoid its gaze.

“Interesting.” Suddenly you heard the Painter’s voice, you almost looked up, instead snapping back down to your notebook in a sweat. “I was going to say something else but your reaction piqued my interest.”

You turned back in front of you to your notebook, grumbling as you realised it was Eyefestation that was talking to you. “Go back to using your voice Eyefestation.”

You heard Eyefestation hum slightly, as you let out a sigh.

“My voice is whatever you want to hear.” Eyefestation started, it’s voice going back to the voice that you recognized as it's own. “If you heard something else, it isn’t my fault.”

Somehow, you find it hard to believe. But Eyefestation has a point. Especially since the last time it scared you this bad was when it replicated Sebastian’s voice. The only reason why you had a different reaction then was because Eyefestation exactly said things Sebastian would never ever say, much less in the way that Eyefestation put it.

Either way you let out another sigh, talking with Eyefestation was always an experience as you had a conversation in your mind, it made you feel a little bit crazy.

“Is the voice you heard another subject?”

“Yes.” You responded swiftly, Eyefestation was always a bit curious about the other subject. Yet in the case of Painter, you had no idea how to phrase it for the shark to understand what you were talking about. “Remember when I told you about electronics?”

Eyefestation only swam around, you saw the light that it had moved around the floor of the room you were in. “Well, the voice you spoke in was from one of those electronics.”

“How?”

“Electronics can do more than just make lights.” Scratching your head, you wondered how you were even going to explain a computer to Eyefestation.

The shark could learn things by just reading your mind but you’re not sure it would even be able to understand the concept of computers, it already took you awhile just to explain technology that can make lights like it does.

However, Eyefestation was patient as you attempted to explain computers to it.

Thinking you did a pretty good job on explaining, you wrote down a note on how you explained how computers worked to Eyefestation.

“I don’t understand,” it started, “how does that work?”

“Well-” You scratched that part of your note, changing it so that it wasn’t successful as you tried to explain again in different words. At this point, it felt more like you were trying to explain to the elderly how new technology worked. Because you couldn’t even see them, it really didn’t help your visualisation of the scenario.

“Please end your interview promptly.” The intercom went on. Perhaps that was a blessing in surprise as your head was starting to hurt in trying to think up a way to explain computers in yet another way.

“Sorry, I need to cut this short.” You apologised quickly at the shark, getting up from your seat as you quickly turned back so as to not accidentally gaze into its eyes.

“Is that ‘computer’ important to you?”

“What?”

“For you to hear my voice as it…”

Eyefestation trailed off, you looked over at the door out of the room you were in. “I want the best for all the subjects here.” You started, thinking over your words.

You were going to continue except the intercom went on again on how you should be leaving the room. Which made you scowl, couldn’t you be patient with the subjects?

“Sorry again,” you sighed, you knew it was still listening to you, “I’ll explain it to you next time.”

“Until next time.”

You left Eyefestation’s “chambers”, nodding at the researchers that were watching through one of those one sided windows.

“Anything new?”

“Z-317 seems more stable emotionally.” Flipping some pages on your notebook, stopping at Eyefestation’s. “Though I wouldn’t try interacting with it just yet. I think it needs more convincing to be able to see certain humans as ‘safe’.”

You closed the notebook, looking back at the scientist, they didn’t look satisfied. “... and if we can convince it, Z-317 could be used as a weapon that can be transported by sea.”

That seemed to satisfy them as they nodded briefly. You always had to keep telling (or even reminding) the other researchers that the subject can be used as a weapon as that is all that Urbanshade really sees the subjects as. Either weapons or money makers.

You hated needing to speak of the subjects like so. Safe for the ones that actually committed heinous crimes and it showed that they did. You wanted those that were wrongfully trapped in Urbanshade to actually get their rightful freedom.

You knew most of them would be killed before they got to see freedom again. Eyefestation being one of them. It’s doubtful if it will ever be able to see the normal sea again. You just hoped that your research could maybe open a different realm of possibility.

Talking about a different realm of possibilities, Eyefestation’s words started playing in your mind.

Is Painter someone you’d consider… Important?

Of course he was. All the subjects were important to you, you wanted them to all succeed.

Yet the way that Eyefestation phrased it during your conversation just made your mind think about it more...

...A new realm of possibilities...

...You shut your own thoughts down for now, it’s no use thinking about it at the moment. There were more pressing matters to attend to.

Leaving Eyefestation’s area of the Heavy Containment area, you started walking through the heavy doors between each area of the Heavy Containment. The good thing was that since Eyefestation was in this area, it meant that you didn’t have to walk that much to find Painter who was coincidentally also in the Heavy Containment area.

At this point, most of the subjects you worked with were in Heavy Containment. Which made you question your safety briefly for a second.

The only negative about Painter’s area is that it was hotter than the rest of the Blacksite. The amount of machinery and what you can only really presume as lots and lots of GPU systems (was the GPU shortage you heard about actually thanks to Urbanshade? You wouldn’t be surprised) only made the area hotter thanks to the fans of the machinery exuding hot air from the systems.

The Blacksite in general was colder so the shock of temperature from the area was quite a bit. But at this point, you grew accustomed to the temperature change.

Sliding your ID on the door to the room containing Painter, you knew full well the researchers were probably going to kick you out but you still wanted to give visiting Painter a shot.

Letting out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding, the door accepted your ID with an extremely loud beep. Making your way inside the room you gazed around.

However, what came as a surprise was the sheer emptiness of the room. Normally the room has quite a bit of researchers just checking to make sure all the machinery is working, and as Painter is a newer subject, a lot of researchers are stationed to simply analyse it to make sure any… updates that they’ve performed on him are working spot on.

You checked your watch quickly.

Ah, that explains it.

A lot of the researchers were taking their break. You hadn’t even noticed that it was break time. Not for you exactly, but for this department it was.

Well, more like those that were overseeing Painter. Normally Urbanshade has a sort of system where when one side of researchers takes a break, there will be another one that will cover for them. But seeing as how passive Painter is, and how Painter does basically the same thing every day, you supposed that they kept their personnel to other more “urgent” subjects.

Better for you, that meant that there was a higher chance to see Painter.

Opportunity at its finest, you decided to try out your chances. This is exactly the game that Urbanshade likes playing, and two can play the game. It felt like a game of cards, only that finally you had a winning hand and your opponent didn't even notice.

“Hey!” You approached the singular poor scientist still in the room (for some reason), friendly and open, sliding quickly on the chair next to them. “How are you?”

Seeing as to how the scientist reacted, they looked like they recently just got the job, maybe even an intern. “...Good.”

They looked like deer in headlights. You introduced yourself as you knew that they didn’t know you as you didn’t know them. “-yeah so I’m a Behavioural Scientist and I’ve been working on Painter over there.” You pointed at the computer as if to prove a point. “Z-779. You know.”

“...Right…”

“Basically I just need you to oversee that I don’t die or something as I check over it. Cool?” You gave them a quick thumbs up. They looked completely clueless which meant that you definitely had a complete say to it. And none of the researchers that enter later can’t just say no because there was one that said yes. Things don’t work like that but you hoped that fate was in your favour to make it happen as so. “Oh but you don’t really have to pay attention, have your break. If you hear a loud thump, that’s when you look back and check on me.”

You joked lightly with the scientist which only reacted in a nervous manner. “Really, don’t sweat it I just really have to have someone around for safety reasons but you don’t have to pay attention.” And you didn’t want them to pay attention.

As long as you were quick enough, you shouldn’t be caught though. Painter wasn’t an experiment that was monitored much and glancing quickly at the schedule, you have a wealth of time.

Whoever said that you just had to be confident to convince people was right as you saw the scientist move their seat closer to the window telling you they were ready with a quiet voice as they settled their stuff nearby.

Definitely an intern.

Getting up from your seat, you stood right next to the door. Finally sliding your ID in the doors in a silent victory to yourself that you managed to convince the intern. And lucky for you, the door opened as expected. Looks like luck was in your favour and your superior wasn’t notified yet which not only meant that your ID could still open Painter’s enclosure, but also meant that you’re safe to continue your little interviews.

Looking out at the intern, you saw them go on their phone. That’s good, that meant they were definitely not going to be paying attention to anything you will do with Painter. Better safe than sorry though, you’re still going to take precautions.

“Painter, it’s me.” You said in a low voice. “They didn’t let me see you until now.”

Not like they actually let you now, you just practically sneaked in. But Painter doesn’t need to know that, not that you didn’t want it to know but rather you don’t know if there was something listening.

“Well if it isn’t the one and only ‘not like other scientists’ scientists.” Painter’s face appeared on the screen with a grin.

You didn’t expect that from Painter, you felt yourself cringe slightly at your words haunting you suddenly. “I didn’t think you’d remember that.”

“I remember everything.”

“I realised.”

It was silent but not unpleasant. The gentle hum of Painter’s fans went on almost lulling,

“Hey, where are the other white coats?” Painter started again, “I only see one, you normally never go in here without so many of those in the room.”

“How do you think I got in here?” You spoke honestly, looking away to the side for a second. “I’m kidding, they are on break right now.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, in response, Painter turned it’s expression to slightly more serious one, he knew you were lying yet made no effort to press on. After all, what did it even lose from this situation?

“...Anyways, how’s your piece going?”

Painter seemed to light up the moment you mentioned it. “Well I’m gla~d you asked!” He changed it’s screen to the drawing program, his face going to the corner of the screen as if it was one of those videos with the person in the corner reacting to the content.

However what you didn’t expect was to see the piece almost done. The colours were beautiful and it looked stunning. Before you thought it was already looking great but now? It was… gorgeous…

“It’s not… perfect.” Painter started, its face going into a light frown. “I’m a bit out of practice... I have to admit.”

“You say this is out of practice?” You looked at the screen in awe. “How can a machine even be out of practice? This is beautiful!”

Painter lit up completely, his face turning into a complete face of happiness.

“You think?”

“Yeah!”

It chuckled lightly, you didn’t know the computer could even do that. “Thanks!”

Painter looked completely bashful, with little “blush” lines on his face to complete the look. It was such a surprise seeing him act like it. In a research standpoint, this was a complete breakthrough as you managed to get more emotional capacity of the computer. And on your own personal standpoint, it was so nice to see the subjects you worked with happy.

“I can’t wait to see the final product.” You said after a while, a smile still on your face.

“Oh yeah, just you wait.” His face went back to covering the whole screen. “I’m so far from done so when I am you’ll see how talented I am.”

Far from done??? You couldn’t even believe Painter anymore, it already looked amazing, you couldn’t imagine it looking even better than that.

“I can’t wait!”

“Oh! Oh! Also!” Painter grinned again. “I managed to mine more crypto than normal apparently! They told me that at this rate I can actually reach the quota to go to the surface!”

“Really?” A surprised noise escaped from you, you didn’t expect that from the other researchers. There had to be some strings attached. “What about your circuits? Are you keeping your temperature in check?”

“Well, they said that it was only a slight improvement.” Painter mumbled honestly, “I overheard them talk about it from the other room… among… other comments.”

Painter seemed to frown, reminiscing on what it heard, however the screen glitched slightly as he changed expressions again. “As for the circuits, I’ve been trying to keep my CPU and GPU as low as I can while doing things differently. Though I have to say that having the other program open is making it a little harder.”

You never thought you would hear about a computer procrastinating but here you were. There was something surprising about hearing how even when Painter was multitasking and drawing in secret thanks to the inspiration you gave it, but also being able to be more effective than how it normally was this whole time.

Almost, you felt like mentally patting yourself on the back. If everything went well, then surely Painter would be able to draw and mine crypto at the same time and be effective with it.

Not that the other researchers would know that he is multitasking seeing as how little importance they see of Painter. As long as it does the job, who cares how it’s done.

Though on the other hand, you knew that treating the computer more “humanly” would actually help it be more successful. Take that! Any of the other researchers that keep telling you that nothing good comes from your work!

“That sounds great, Painter!” You put out a smile, Painter matching your expression back, albeit slightly bashfully.

“Thank you…” He trailed off. Seeing his expression, you wondered if Painter had gotten any praise for his work since it was stolen from his home.

You put a hand on your chin slightly, thinking briefly as Painter seemingly looked to the side. “Actually, may I touch you?”

“Huh?” Painter looked back at you, he seemed so expressive suddenly, a more dumbfounded expression on him. “Yeah, sure… I… I trust you.”

You smiled at hearing the last part. It was surprising to hear it at first, knowing how you’re sure that Painter wouldn’t like being touched after all that Urbanshade has done to him. But it made you smile that he trusted you enough to let you touch him.

Bringing a hand closer to Painter, you put it on the top of his casing, patting it slightly. “You did a good job today.” You told him, you’re sure that he can’t feel it but it's the thought that counts. You wanted to physically show him that he did good in a way. It is your job to make sure all the subjects do their absolute best, and Painter is already showing improvements which makes your heart swell already. “I’m proud.”

“O-Oh.” Painter’s fans started whirring louder than they were going before, you were starting to feel the warm air coming from Painter on you. Thankfully, it didn’t become hot enough to burn your hand as the first time you met.

Even with that, you were a bit worried. Glancing worriedly at Painter, you slid your hand instead to his side, checking for his temperature. “Are you alright?”

“Ju~st peachy!” Painter swiftly responded, a sort of "laugh" coming from its speakers as his screen glitched slightly. “Hey um, how about we both go back to work, the break is going to end soon right?”

It was almost as if something clicked on your mind as you retracted your hand from Painter to check your watch. “Shoot, you're right.” You frowned slightly, a groan escaping you. “If I want to play it safe I should leave…”

“Yeah…” Painter replied back, a nervous smile on his screen.

“Well,” you scratched your neck lightly, “I guess that’s it for me. Keep up the good work!”

“Of course I will” The confident smile you knew from Painter came back on his screen. You smiled back in response.

“I’ll come back soon to do a check up on you alright? Good night, Painter.”

You turned back from him, putting your keycard in the door to leave, the loud beeping of it making you completely miss the sigh that Painter let out as you left the room.

[bcolfanfic]

the people want more backstory about rosie adopting naomi!! (when u have time ofc)

rosieeeee. sweet man.

after he comes home from bagram august 2021 he contemplates staying in active duty, and maybe starting the application process and what not to go down the JAG path. but he came home from bagram with a lottt of anexity and the more thought he gives it the more he's just. ready to be done. ready to not worry about if he's gonna get sent into another fire in another war etc etc. goes back to practicing "normal law" mostly property law with an agriculture focus.

the thought of adopting just kinda washes over him out of the blue one day. is talking to a co-worker who adopted as a single parent and can't shake the "huh, what if i did that" feeling. talks himself out of it for a couple weeks, but then it comes back in his head, and he /really/ can't shake it this time.

sees his mom for lunch or something and she can tell he's off. asks if he's alright thinking it's ptsd related and he just blurts out something to the effect of do you think i'd be a good dad?

she pauses for a long moment bc she gen was not expecting that at all. but sees the look on his face and that he's asking genuinely and just. melts. yv rosie in my mind is super close with his mama (dad died when he was young) and seeing her baby so sincerely thinking about something like this just. makes her heart swell up. she tells him she think's he'd be a great dad, and prods a little about why he's asking which is a nice outlet for him to talk things out loud with someone.

the next people he tells that he's considering it are croz (his bff <3) and jeanie and they're both practically jumping through the phone like yes oh my god of course you'd be a good dad are you kidding????

he's a very private person and maybeee tells ev too because he figures croz will anyways. but outside the two of them everyone else doesn't know a thing till he actually has her. (think he similar to the bucks does the waiting child thing. was fully expecting to get an older kiddo since that's typically how that goes. but they call him about a lil 11 month old baby and he says yes before he can think twice about it. the social worker he's been working with nudges him a little about considering changing/choosing her name since she's so young, which he stresses a considerable amount over since he was not expecting to have to worry about that lmao. but he gives it some thought and goes with naomi and it Feels Right.)

croz and jeanie go out to be there and see lil baby naomi right after he gets her. croz texts a pic of rosie with her to the gc and everyone is like ????. they all think they somehow missed/forgot an entire crosby child existing lmao. but then croz is texts something to the effect of new rosenthal just dropped (: and they're like WHAT. lmfao. bucky just about screams and scares the hell out of gale across the house. dramatic ass. (which ironic, when him and gale end up more or less being in the same predicament with their friends finding out about baby micah with how sudden all that is).

goddd rosie is so happy. gets all teary talking to croz about it and croz gets a lil emotional too telling him he knows exactly how he feels. tells him that feeling never really goes away, and that he's already such a good dad which makes hm realllly cry. sweet boy.

naomi is that man's moon and stars. obv all the guys that have kids love their kiddos to death. but esp since it's just the two of them before aiden comes along, they're bonded real tight in a way that just. idk makes her real stiff competition for the most adored little girl on the planet.