#after this i looked up that part on yt just to see if it was just as disturbing lol

[basofy]

fun lisa fact of mine that i forgot about until i saw this again but in 2020 when i played for the first time my dad had this dinosaur monitor that he could connect to his laptop but the problem is it made everything look RED and yet i played it like that for a while cuz it looked funny (only this part and the part where u beat up rick IT LOOKED ALL RED AND FREAKY)

[platinumshawnn]

Bound by Blood and Fire — benjicot blackwood x tully!oc

prologue

masterlist

forward

A/N: new fixation of the month, another skinny yt boy! I haven’t written an actual series in a few years, so here I am giving it another try. Also I know he didn’t turn out to be Benjicot, but I’m sticking with fancast!Kieran as Benjicot. Benjicot is aged up to 21, character is 18 — semi-proofread and updated (the character was changed into a random oc) characters physical description is not detailed or referenced to.

You can now read the next part here: i (posted July 17 2024)

Synopsis: Amidst rising tensions and a looming war, House of Tully seeks to strengthens its strongest alliances by proposal a marriage between Benjicot Blackwood, heir to Raventree, and Elmo Tully’s only daughter.

Content Warning(s): mentions of violence, no detailed depictions however. Era related content and sexism.

Word count: 1.8k

“It is done then?”

Elmo looked across the table at his son, his heir, as Kermit Tully nodded his head — his head bowing forward in response to his father’s words, “It is.” He simply replied, head lifting then to make eye contact with his father’s.

The pair stood in silence as the weight of his admission lingered in the air, the flames from the torches that lit the room casting a dim glow over the face of the father and his son who could have been mistaken for a mirrored image of himself if not for his own having grown aged throughout the years — Elmo’s gaze darted to the walls of their meeting room after a small, meek nod that hinted towards his reservations; gaze scanning the walls built of solid stone that stretched upwards in seemingly endless slabs, high enough that it almost seemed as though they were attempting to reach up high enough to the Gods themselves. The air was damp, caused by the ongoing storm outside having plagued the House of Tully for days — it made for a mess keeping guard amidst the growing tension between the houses, further enabled by the ongoing dispute regarding the throne.

“I do wonder, father,” Kermit suddenly spoke again, interrupting his father’s silence of contemplation as his grip on the hilt of his holstered sword at his hip readjusted, the glazed over look in his father’s eyes briefly clearing as he once more looked at him. “If I might…do you think she is ready? I do not wish to rush her into this, this is not a decision I think should be lightly considered…”

“Worry not, Kermit.” Elmo snapped, the anxiety in his chest heavy again at the thought of his daughter, shrouded by guilt that he was forced to swallow down. Pride. He released his grip on the ledge of the table made of weirwood and wrung his hands as he paused, his brow twitching and inhaling deeply, “We have given her more than enough time — all she’s had is time. It is her turn to perform her duty, just as we all must.”

Kermit’s gaze shifted, blinking a couple of times as he nodded, processing his words. There was a silence that fell over them both once more, the tension in the air almost suffocatingly thick and crushing him under the weight of it as Kermit thinks of his sister. Thinks of how she will react when he tells her she’s to be married. Thinks of his sweet sister, caught in the middle of the politics of the realm — treated as nothing more than a pawn and broodmare; his sweet sister who cried when he brought back his first deer after a hunt when he was twelve, big eyes welled with tears and nearly inconsolable. He recalled the days it took for her to speak to him again after that, promising to never subject her to such a sight again and do his best to sneak any catch in through the back gates. He thinks of the soft, sensitive girl who picked flowers and was fascinated by bugs growing up, much to their mother’s dismay — so curious and quiet, innocent and in her own world. Kermit wished he could have understood what it was like to see the world through her eyes sometimes, to see what it was that she did. Sometimes.

He almost felt dirty at the realization of just who — what — she would be marrying and that he was subjecting his sister to a lifelong commitment to a man who used to throw mud on her dresses; teased her until she cried as a girl, and then teased her more because she was a girl. That he was giving her hand away so quickly without giving her even a chance to agree or defend herself or choose — but what choice did a woman have in these matters? Kermit swallowed thickly, exhaling as his hands clenched tightly around the hilt of his sword.

Kermit did not have many friends beyond these walls that were not of his own blood. Benjicot Blackwood was one of the very few exceptions — introduced as children, both heirs to their respective houses, Kermit naturally found himself in the other’s presence more often than not; learning the ways of running households, trailing behind their fathers. Hells, they had trained together for several years and even fought alongside one another, too, on a few occasions after run-ins with Brackens. Benjicot had become a close friend of his over the many years they’d known each other, coming to know him as soft spoken, if not even shy and quiet and still, even knowing him and his character as well as he did — the decision still had not been an easy one. But he had mulled over the many available lords and their heirs across the realm, thoroughly considering each of them and whether they were suitable for his sister’s hand. No matter how close and good of an ally any of them were, how loyal they were, how fierce and powerful….Kermit simply could not consider any of them to be good enough for his dear sister. Benjicot hadn’t even been his idea. It had been his father’s idea, in fact — he was one of the first names that had been put forward when the discussion had first come up, but he had shot it down just as quickly.

He pictured the thought of his sister, sweet and soft spoken, scared of anything violent and bloody beside Benjicot — wild, crazy, and psychotic Benjicot whose eyes were wild in battle, bordering feral in simple fights that did not require getting bloody, pummeling men bloody regardless until they were nearly unrecognizable. The thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

“Do you think…” Kermit began to say, cutting himself short as he did not know what he intended to ask. He blinked twice, glancing down briefly before looking back up to where his father had turned his head to stare at him. They were both quiet, staring back at one another, as if they both seemed to be sharing the same thought.

Elmo looked back out the windows, looking over the fields that were soaked and flooded by the rains, seeming to know what his son intended to say, “She will understand.” He stated, taking a few steps closer towards the window’s ledge, looking up at the sky that was covered by dark, full clouds that hid nearly any and all traces of sunlight. “You should be off to speak to her, let her know of the news. Lord Samwell will be expecting you in the coming days. I am entrusting you to oversee finalizing everything. Oscar and I will follow.” He explained, back turned to him still as he spoke.

Kermit was not one typically to shy away from making difficult choices, but this one still felt like he was ripping out a part of himself. Like he had betrayed his sister somehow.

He nodded abruptly, bowing his head before taking his leave with a pivot-step and striding out of the room quickly, the doors swinging open before slamming shut behind him with the force of the guards stood outside. With a curt nod to the guards, Kermit turned and began wandering through the halls; absentmindedly guiding his way to the library, his hands clenched so hard his knuckles had turned white and jaw clenched as if that would steady him.

The doors to the library could have otherwise been a comforting sight on any other day, given that he had spent several days there in his youth, studying and teasing his sister into their adolescence over her obsession to memorize the history books front-to-back rather than being outside with the girls her age; knowing this was her safe haven amongst the busy day-to-day hustle of their house. However, it appeared daunting that particular day as he paused outside them, hand stretched out and ready to push inside as he listened for any noise; hoping that he would be met instead with silence that he could use as an excuse to walk away and claim that she wasn’t there — that he did not know where she was at that moment. Give him any excuse not to tell her…not yet. But instead he was met by the soft shuffle of shoes and melodic humming, his eyes closing with a furrow of his eyebrows as his shoulders slumped, sighing out a breath.

It took him a moment to compose himself — straighten his shoulders and stand upright, taking one final breath before he pushed open the door to find his sister; her head turning immediately to look at him, eyes wide and one hand up to her mouth as she picked at her bottom lip, frozen as though he had startled her, her humming ceased as her other hand held an open book, “Brother?” She suddenly asked, voice small amongst the room.

“Sister.” He greeted, voice low. “We must speak — join me.”

—

“Winds are coming from the east today.” Benjicot said, looking out from the entrance of his tent before letting the flap drop closed, shielding him and his cousins from the cool winds that had picked up over the past few hours with the storm; clothes still clinging to his limbs from the rain that had caught him on his way back to camp, his hair soaked as it stuck to his forehead in stringy strands that dripped into his eyes. He used the damp backside of his hand to wipe a bead of water from his eyes as he knelt close to the map, staying far enough back so as to not damage it by getting it wet as he’d yet to change into something dry. “We can use that to our advantage if this rain slows down.”

“Any animal with even half a brain across the realm has gone into hiding by now, there’s nothing left out there.” Emrys said, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he sat back on his elbows, earning a pointed stare from his cousin. “Let us just call it a day for now. We will continue in the morrow — rest, warm up.” He pleaded.

“Don’t be foolish, Emrys.” Benjicot snapped while standing back up, circling the tent towards his cousin and deliberately nudging him with his rain soaked boot. “A true hunter does not just give up so easily, dear cousin. Though, I imagine this isn’t how you would rather spend your day — rather instead spend it with your whores, yes?” Benjicot mocked, the men letting out a chorus of laughter that was muffled by the sound of heavy rainfall.

“Regardless, we still might —”

Benjicot’s words were interrupted as a guard arrived, calling out to him as he entered the tent where the group of men were meeting, “Ser,” the guard said, stopping abruptly by the entrance and holding out a scroll. “A Raven has just arrived for you.” He announced, the scroll dampened by the rain as Benjicot retrieved it from his grasp, eyes narrowing slightly at the stoic male who stood still as a statue; awaiting his next orders. His gaze dropped to the scroll in his hands, the seal recognized as that of his house and glancing up at the guard once more before cracking the wax seal to unravel the paper, his gaze scanning its contents. In his peripheral vision, he could see his cousins sit up, Emrys to his right.

“Who is it from?” Emrys asked.

Benjicot blinked, jaw clenching as he lowered the scroll, sighing, “My father.” He replied. “He’s instructed us to return to Raventree at once. I’m to be married apparently.” He explained, voice just above a mutter as he crumpled up the paper and shoved it into a pocket.

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: What Greek Mythology love story would you and your FS be?

○●○●○●○●○●○●

[pile 1 to 3- left to right]

Just came out of a bone-crushing healing and shadow work period for my Kundalini Awakening going on right now T-T In an attempt to raise my spirits, I created my very first FS reading-

pile 1:

General vibe of your love story with your FS-

This is the movie pile. I see a full-blown movie arc in my mind’s eye for your love story with your FS. I see an opening at- you guys meeting, the middle act- your separation and individual trials, and the final act- the happy reunion! OBVIOUSLY, there's nuance to how all of this will unfold for each of y’all reading since it's real life we're talking about, but your story with your FS is the closest thing to a happily-ever-after if I've ever seen one.

It's like when y’all first met, y’all were young, or maybe some of y’all didn't know how to handle a relationship or didn't have the resources in the 3D (think money or a place of your own, something like that) to make this relationship happen? Maybe it was long distance for a looong time? And so, for whatever reason (along said lines) y’all had to let each other go or y’all couldn't be together. It's like y’all were shown a grand possibility to be together, and BOOM it was taken away.

Then you guys enter a separation period right after, and the length of this period will differ for everybody reading, anywhere between months to a couple of years. After having worked HARD on yourselves ON YOUR OWN to overcome your personal issues, traumas, and suffering, you guys come together. The key to really mastering your obstacles is in the day to day. You will have set routines to tackle your obstacles, such as say you’ve got anxiety or a dys-regulated nervous system, so maybe you'll always have a stress relief meditation scheduled in no matter how your day looks. So on and so forth, fill in the details of this period as it best suits your life. But the common denominator, I feel like, is that y’all really fight to be with one another. The love is so deep here, and that's what motivates each of you to overcome your personal hurdles, yk? And THEN, when it happens, and y’all reunite, it's sooo beautiful. It's like you guys will build a brand new life together where you can put the past behind and finally enjoy the fruits of your labor! Also, I see you guys growing and blossoming over time with your FS upon reunion 🥺✨.

So… which Greek myth sums up YOUR love story with your FS the best?

drum roll

It’s the story of Cupid and Psyche!

From what I’ve read about this story, Cupid and Psyche couldn’t immediately be together after they met. Cupid could only meet Psyche at night AND she’s not even allowed to see him! T-T This was part of what Psyche has to overcome- the challenges put forth by Aphrodite just because the goddess was jealous of Psyche. And poor Cupid had self-esteem issues from what I gather lmao. He didn't even feel worthy to show his mortal wife what he REALLY looked like (which, by the way, is GORGEOUS af?! Like who hurt you, Cupid?) They eventually overcome their odds and reunite. Eventually, Jupiter blesses Psyche with immortality, which allows them to live forever in their new life happily ever after. Ahhh… beautiful.

I encourage you to read the original story (or watch it on YT, do whatever you like :p) to pick up on any additional messages! Buuut that’s all I have for you lovely folks today.

Love and loads of light, sweet pea :)

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pile 2:

General vibe of your love story with your FS-

Reeeeally strongly coming in right off the bat, I feel like both you AND your FS will be turning a brand new leaf in your lives. Think a new job for one or both of you. A major relocation for one or both of you. A major relationship ending for one or both of you. You catch the drift, right?

It feels like y’all will be closing out a cycle and entering into a new era, so to speak. And in this new era, I sense that you'll keep mostly to yourself and aren't all that interested in anybody because you're still processing this BIG shift you just went through and you're reflecting a lot, drawing on your wisdom, staying in your lane. Ngl, you do feel vulnerable and raw too, which is probably why you seem to keep to yourself mostly during the time you might run into your FS. I sense the same from their end too.

You know what this is? Mutual healing. Your future spouse finds you at a time when you're in the dead center of healing and vice versa. You will both be the catalysts to each other's healing! How cool is that? And after y’all find stability in your journey together especially after navigating healing for so long… I see y’all being so comfortable and content and peaceful with one another 🥺 this makes my heart full!! Stop it! Ahhhhhh <3 The vibes are immaculate, it's giving 'comrades in the battlefield' kinda energy. Your FS will stick with you no matter what, literally. And that's the kind of loyalty many people only dream about. Love it 🤌🏾. Y’all will love each other's pain away 🥺😩. Ugh my heart can't take it anymore!

So… which Greek myth sums up YOUR love story with your FS the best?

drum roll

It’s the story of Odysseus and Penelope!

Now in the story of Odysseus and Penelope, both of them undergo significant changes and face major disruptions in their lives. Odysseus’s long journey home from the Trojan War and Penelope’s long period of waiting and dealing with suitors at home. BUT even in Odysseus's absence, Penelope remains faithful and focused on her own survival and household. Similarly, Odysseus endures many trials and tribulations. Both characters are found in a state of self-reflection in the face of personal challenges (in my humble opinion of course). Their reunion symbolizes mutual healing… both of our characters here show incredible loyalty and perseverance despite being apart for 20 years!

-Side note: on a completely different note, your story low key kinda reminds me of the story of James and Claire from Outlander >< shoutout to the Outlander fans hehehehe, I'm waiting for the 9th season to come out SO BAD ughhhh lmao-

I encourage you to read the original story (or watch it on YT, do whatever you like :p) to pick up on any additional messages for yourself! Annnnd that’s all I have for you lovely folks today.

Love and loads of light, sweet pea :)

------------

pile 3:

General vibe of your love story with your FS-

Ah.. my Pile number 3s.. you guys are afraid to love.. aren't you? You might be blocked off from your heart and as a result won’t be open to true reciprocal and healthy love for a WHILE. But then I see that the divine will enter your life in some way and shake you up in a big way to show you how you've been standing in your own way and keeping love at a distance.. I'm seeing the tower card in my third eye as I say this even though it hasn't come out for you today.

Ah, this is like a personal journey I see you taking before your FS comes in and swoops you off your pretty lil feet 🙃 tehe! Your energy seems quite mental to me. You love living in your head, thinking, planning, analyzing, and just knowing things. But this came at the grave cost of not being connected to your heart.. and when the divine intervenes and helps you connect to your heart again is when your FS comes in flying ✨.

Side note: Ooh.. suddenly I hear Lavender Haze by our queen Taylor Swift? Take that only if it resonates for you :]

But yea, I see you struggling and feeling out of control when all of this happens because you're used to being in control of things usually but now all of this has you a bit overwhelmed I'm ngl.. but you end up navigating this perfectly well! Yay! I'm glad haha 😅🫂👏🏾

So… which Greek myth sums up YOUR love story with your FS the best?

drum roll

The story of Pygmalion and Galatea!

Yup, just like how Pygmalion accidentally manifested Galatea, you kinda accidentally manifest your future spouse too (low key reeeal funny ngl). Because Pygmalion refused to love anybody, he sculpted out his perfect woman and fell in love with his creation. His deep affections attract the attention of you guessed it Aphrodite herself, and she decides to ahem intervene. She brings Galatea to life, which represents the transformation of Pygmalion's mental fixation (and emotional disconnection) TO emotional CONNECTION. How perfectly beautiful. Ugh. Love your story, Pile 3. Gosh.. who doesn't love their FS simply falling into their laps? Haha

I encourage you to read the original story (or watch it on YT, do whatever you like :p) to pick up on any additional messages! Soooo that’s all I have for you lovely folks today.

Love and loads of light, sweet pea :)

------------

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (ii) - pt 1 here!!

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : matt is still a grumpy ass but y/n can't seem to get him off of her mind.

warnings : idk uhhh matt’s rude but in a love hate kinda way 😋! also alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!)

mickey speaks : shes finally hereeeee and shes kinda long. im hoping to post more consistently!! luv u guys enjoy <3 ignore the fact that the pic above has a yt girl in it this story is for everyone i promise !!!! i just liked the little green vibe ok? ok.

THIS IS PART TWO GO READ PART ONE FIRST DUH!!!!

AND of course you see matt again.

only a month ago, you were introduced and forced to spend an hour of your time in close proximity to him, no matter his disinterest. yet, also, only a month ago, were you gifted with the cutest tiny tattoo that continues to surprise you a little whenever you lift your shirt before a warm shower.

it hasn’t bothered you nearly as much as you'd assumed - only disrupting your life with the caution you now take to avoid irritating the skin at your lower stomach. though some nights you grow lazy, you’ve maintained a very disciplined attitude of incorporating time in your morning and nightly rituals to ensure the tiny hello kitty inked on you is properly cared for.

contrary, your interactions with matt bothered you far more than you assumed. your sub-concious must've held onto your attempts to break past his careless attitude (that greatly opposed your own people-pleasing nature) just to pettily haunt you. but you've you forced yourself to get over it at this point. you just had to after one night, the week following your tattoo appointment (and after a long day of rude professors and pretentious customers blaming you for their own mistakes), you broke down to andrea:

you sniffle before your voice breaks again, "everyone's just mean. and- and i was so fucking annoying last saturday. it keeps playing over in my head. i'm so embarrassed and i just know he hated me, but i dont know why?! i thought i was nice enough. he could've just smiled or maybe just- i-"

andrea pauses from petting your head, "honey, you're not still talking about the guy who tatted you, right?" you look up at her from your head's soft spot in her lap with glossy eyes and a quivering lip.

"dre-" you choke.

"oh my god! no! y/n, you can't take shit like that personal. not everyone enjoys talking or happiness for that matter, you can't hold on to something like that. i promise he's not too hung up on it himself." she wipes away one of your pitiful tears.

and here he is, standing across the room from you at a party.

you definitely did not expect to see matt (who’s mild attitude was clearly fueled by socializing) in this scene but you guess that la parties are just like that. as long as you know someone who knows someone you’re easily in, that's how you tend to get into these events at least. though an insta stalk would tell you matt has enough clout to get himself in, he and his brothers have built quite the brand for themselves among la socialites.

once your eyes spot him over the shoulder of some guy who just introduced himself to you, they can’t seem to move. you watch as matt smiles for a photo with a few others. matt. smiles. okay, so maybe it was a you problem. he doesn’t hate everyone maybe just you.

though, your thoughts are denied as quickly as his face drops. he doesn’t even care to look at how the image may have turned out like the rest of the group. instead, his eyes opt to watching the people around him as he sips his weak drink.

great, now you’ve become the weirdo watching him watch other people.

until his eyes catch your cautious yet curious stare from across the room. your cheeks heat and you’re immediately shifting your eyes back to the man in front of you.

matt almost smirks at his luck. no fucking way the scared sweetheart he’d tattooed just a few weeks ago is here. he looks away when someone lays a hand on his shoulder to bring him back into the conversation. you're surprised that he continues to look back over to you after adding his input.

the guy finally acknowledges your disengagement with the story about his new motorcycle and turns to see what exactly you’re staring at. he sees matt and turns back to you, “you know him?”

“yeah. well not like know-know we only met once, he gave me a tattoo.”

“oh, cool,” he looks back over to matt and turns back to you once again, “is he bothering you?”

your face scrunches initially, “no, it’s fine.” you smile at him, not wanting to give him the impression that matt did anything but exist (which apparently is enough to capture your attention).

“good. wanna go grab another drink and tell me more about this tattoo?” a charming smile morphs on face and you nod your head easily, taking his hand and leading him towards the bar outside of this large home. and away from matt.

“two-” you look over to the man beside you, “wait is this an open bar?” you ask him genuinely and he laughs a little at your aloofness.

“yeah,” he nods.

“perfect, we’ll take two kamikaze shots pretty please!” you smile at the bartender who seems to be enjoying her night quite a bit and squeeze his hand when you realize it’s still in your own. he looks down at your attached hands then back to you.

you turn your body to face him more directly and lean up to his ear, cupping your hand and whispering, “i’m so sorry, i think i forgot your name.” you were starting to feel bad and just had to confess.

you lean back and bite your lip to hide an awkward smile, and he somehow smiles harder than he already was, “it’s-”

“ashton!” you hear a voice yell hurriedly and now some dark haired guy is pulling him away from you and repeatedly saying “code red!” in his face. and suddenly, without any indication he’d enjoyed your short lived time together, he’s gone.

you try not to sulk but he was an attractive guy with easy conversation, so you at least hoped to get his number by the end of the night.

instead, you’re left leaning against the bar hoping those shots come around soon. you decide to update your friends on your night:

Y/N

cute guy lefttttt :(

REMI

noooooo he was so cute 😫

Y/N

don’t remind me

ANDREA

where r you now???

Y/N

outside bar, im waiting on shots

Y/N

come find me💔💔

your head shoots up from your phone when three guys practically ram themselves into the bar near you, a few people around them laughing obnoxiously.

"god damnit, chris! we said we were going slowly!"

"shhhh. you are so loud, matt!"

“excuse me, can we get some water? none of the sparkles or bubbles and shit, just water, please.”

“next time i'm speaking for myself! what if i wanted the bubbles?”

you lean your head a little to get a full view of the three recognizable faces. chris, with his arms dangled over his two brothers’ shoulders clearly obliterated and slurring his words (but excited to be there nonetheless). a blonde one, you haven’t gotten the chance to meet yet, with two nose piercings and a commanding voice. and matt, with his signature pout, even poutier now that chris’ weight is causing him to hunch over slightly. you guess you were bound to run into them.

you wonder if andrea was right in saying matt hadn’t held onto your exchange. you wonder if when he saw you earlier he remembered you for your friendly smile rather than your annoying nagging. or did he even remember you at all? did he only look at you because you were staring him down first? okay, where the fuck are those shots?!

“no way!" you hear chris’ voice screech upon recognizing you from across the bar, "y/n!?”

you look over and see him shockingly excited to see your face again. you smile in an attempt to not allow your nerves about matt get to you. you are never one to deny a conversation after all.

“oh my god! hi!” you reply as chris unwraps himself from his brothers and moves closer to you.

“how’s your tat treatin’ you?” his eyes express so much excitement he reminds you of a little kid. you’re very flattered to see someone feel so much emotion due to your mere presence.

“oh, it’s still so cute, no regrets so far. i love it.” you smile and he nods while you’re speaking.

he turns around and sees his brothers and a few friends remaining in the other side of the bar talking amongst themselves. “yo, get the fuck over here! why are you guys so far?” he encourages them with a hand wave.

you wave as well, trying not to be a total stranger- even if you are.

the blonde guy leads them over and hands chris a glass of water that must’ve been waiting on him.

“cheers,” chris smirks and takes a sip before a disgusted look takes over his face, “gross. my god! why do they make this shit so bland?”

the blonde boy rolls his eyes in amusement, mumbling, "just drink it," before approaching you kindly. "hey, i’m nick by the way."

“y/n, nice to meet you! i met chris and matt when i got my tattoo done at your shop a while ago.” you explain kindly.

before nick can get another word in a female voice is squealing, “you’re y/n?! hi, i’m asha, i don't know if your remember but we talked on the phone that one time!” a tanned girl with soft cheeks and dark loose curls moves herself in front of the boys.

“of course i remember, how could i forget that insane frog story? it's so nice seeing you in person finally!” you gush.

suddenly chris is beaming, “aww wait guys this is so cute! i’m feeling like we should all hug!” he nods to his brothers who are quick to shake their heads no.

“i don’t think..” nick starts.

“nooo! let’s hug!” chris argues and opens his arms wide gesturing for everyone to hug him.

౨ৎ

after sharing a very drunk and messy group hug you all continue to talk until chris finally blurts, "i gotta go pee so bad guys, " he laughs, "but i need people with me because if i walk in on someone puking, then what? i'll die from my severe" (its not severe at all) "emetophobia and no one will ever know?"

you and asha (who you've found is actually so similar to you) both laugh at his crisis.

matt just breathes a laugh.

"chris, there’s no reason to go further with the fear factor when no one said they wouldn't come with you. i’m coming, so you're not gonna die, let's go." nick shakes his head.

“you don’t understand, nick i would be dead and covered in- i can’t even say it, dude,” chris’ voice fades as they walk away.

"wait, i'll walk with you guys inside! 'm... getting cold out here!" asha suddenly says removing herself from your side and waving goodbye with a drunk smile.

"it's not cold at all, she's trippin'" matt speaks watching her run and practically jump onto nick, causing the three laugh while leaving the crowded yard.

you just shrug and lean onto the bar again, making eye contact with the bartender who looks as if she only just remembered your existence but also seems to mentally question where the other guy went and how you managed to replace him that quickly.

"are you always so nice about everything?" matt questions, leaning his forearms on the bar, still looking at you.

"what?" you look over to him now, feeling almost sick at his proximity.

he mocks you with a high tone in his voice, "'it's soooo nice to meet you! it's soooo nice seeing you!' it sounds exhausting, to be honest."

"didn't realize having manners got you jail time," you breathe.

"and i never said it did."

"well, i don't have to be nice to you if it bothers you so much," you shrug.

"aw, sunshine, you'd do that for me? you're too sweet." he almost laughs at his own sarcastic comment.

you lick your bottom lip out of habit, "why are you still here? don't you have friends you should be ignoring?" you hope he can't tell just how frustrated he's making you.

“you must think you know me.”

“i know you don’t like me.”

“wrong, again.” he smiles and points his finger at you.

“oh, you just don’t like anyone then?”

he glances away before responding, “what's the fun in telling you?”

you huff in defeat, wanting nothing more than those shots right now. though your subconcious hopes the bartender continues to prioritize her flirting customers over you just so you can continue this addicting back and forth with matt.

"you know, that’s the thing with people like you. you think everyone owes you everything." he shakes his head.

"people like me?” you scoff under your breath, “matt, why are you still here?"

he can pick out the offense in your tone, "oh shit, that was true? i was fucking with you, sunny!"

"you don't know anything about me," you laugh and shake your head.

"alright there are those kamikaze shots for you! so sorry about that major delay, honey!" the bartender sets the shots in front of the both of you and smiles at you apologetically.

"don't worry about it, thank you!" you hand her a spare five dollar bill from your back pocket.

when she's gone you finally notice matt's widened eyes.

"what's up with your face, now?"

"you gave her a tip for pouring you some rankydank, fuckin' low level shots after you've waited long enough for her to apologize?" he seems genuinely shocked.

"she only makes money off of tips," you roll your eyes, picking the shot up and gesturing towards the second shot for him to take.

"that's all you," he raises his hands towards his chest.

"oh my god, do it, matt."

he shakes his head and points to you, "you take your shot, sweetheart."

"i knew you wouldn't, pussy," you say under your breath before smirking as you down the alcohol you've been craving since you first saw his face.

upon your insult matt is immediately taking the shot along side you. and just as both of your faces adjust to the taste, matt's phone begins to vibrate.

he grabs it and you attempt to hide your own curiosity by asking the bartender for a lime to suck on (not daring to ask for alcohol again because you simply don't want to be hung up at this bar for any longer).

"yeah, yeah still here," matt plays with his bottom lip and looks down at you with your mouth full of lime. he thinks you look pretty adorable, especially under the blush pink fairy lights hanging above the bar. "'kay, i'll be quick. alright, nick. i will. bye."

he puts his phone away and wipes his mouth, "that shit was fucking vile, by the way."

"okay, drama queen."

"mhm," his face falters back into his usual pout, "well i gotta go, but, um, nick wanted me to invite you to this get together thing we host at the warehouse, it's in like a month but, you know, come if you want." he shrugs.

"tell him of course i will, but only because he asked." you smile sarcastically.

౨ৎ

ANDREA - 12:39 AM

y/n where are you we are both so confused rn help

ANDREA - 12:45 AM

hellooo????

ANDREA - 12:47 AM

GIRL WE'RE OUTSIDE AND WE DONT SEE YOU TF

Y/N - 1:06 AM

WHERE ARE U GUYS RN I JSUT SAW TATTOO GUY AGASSN IM LOSUNG MY MIND JUST A LUTTLE BIT

Y/N - 1:06 AM

I WAS AT THE OTHER OITSIDE BAR IN THE FRONT(?) YARD!!!!! but its ok im gonba find u guys

౨ৎ

a few days later matt comes across your instagram story, forgetting he had followed you in the first place. it was a picture of you and your friends from the same night he had seen you again. it's a simple mirror photo where you're all smiling but besides your soft skin and cute outfit, matt's attention focuses on frank ocean's pyramids playing over the story.

you see the notification later that day when you finally get time on your phone:

matthew.sturniolo liked your story

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

[nohaijiachi]

I got randomly recommended this video by YT and wrote a ginormous comment in response because I have no self control, apparently, so I thought I might as well also share my thoughts here in regard to whatever is going with THIS FUCKING SMILE

(under a cut to not clog y'alls dashboards)

(the first part of the comment here is a direct response to some of the ideas put forth in the video, it is very short so give it a quick watch for more context if you want)

Imo it's not necessary to look into overcomplicated theories that rely too much on off screen shenanigans to explain the smile, for how amusing the idea of them having swapped during the kiss is (like, the kind of stuff I won't want to be actually canon, but I'll be very happy to see explored in fan fics lol)

I think to fully explain that smile we have to take in consideration multiple factors:

This show is very purposeful in what it does and doesn't, well... show. That last shot is very long and I think the fact that Aziraphale's and Crowley's expressions in the aftermath of their disastrous break up is shown in such a manner tells us a LOT about the state of mind they might be at the start of S3, and the obstacles they'll have to face. Aziraphale doesn't immediately smile, rather he seems to look almost shell-shocked for most of the shot; it's clear (to me at least lol) that the quiet ride up the elevator is finally giving him some desperately needed time to fully digest everything that happened, because too much has happened in an extremely short amount of time, and we all know Aziraphale doesn't do well with speed lol.

But, for how much he can sometimes be a complete moron, he is smart, and all he needs are just those seconds of quiet to properly ponder on everything, on the choices made and the ramifications of said choices, and that's how we get to smile-- I'll delve into what I think Aziraphale is going through in his mind in more details later, because I also think it's necessary to focus a bit on Crowley's own expression, since the both of them are so intrinsically linked that the narrative cannot make sense without taking the both of them into account.

Crowley's expression is much more static and doesn't change the way Aziraphale's does; he looks profoundly tired in ways we've never seen him before. I don't think he's giving up on Aziraphale, and I fully believe the fact that he stood there and waited for Aziraphale to disappear in the elevator, the both of them sharing that last look, was a quiet message: He'll never give up on Aziraphale, he'll be there, waiting. But wait is all he can do for Aziraphale, now, because he can't follow where Aziraphale is going.

For how messy and full of heightened emotions the confession + kiss are, I think actually denying Aziraphale's request was a HUGE step forward for Crowley's character. He's never been able to deny Aziraphale, he always went back to him after every fight, and we all know how stupidly whipped for Aziraphale he is and how he'd empty the ocean with a spoon if Aziraphale asked him nicely-- But to actually put his foot down and say "no, I cannot do this for you" when asked to all but renounce the person he is now? Especially with how Aziraphale is all but begging him openly? That's a huge step, and something I think Crowley desperately needs to mature as a person (or, well, person-shaped being). We all love how Aziraphale has him wrapped around his little finger I'm sure, but we also all know that if they truly want to build a strong, healthy relationship they also both need to be able to keep their individuality and to put forth adequate boundaries about what they are willing to do for each other within reason.

Asking Crowley to come back to being an angel when he's made blatantly clear for six thousand bloody years how much he despises Heaven is not a 'within reason' request, innit?

So, yeah, for how heartbreaking the break-up was, in a sense Crowley needs it. They both do. They both need time apart to figure their own shit out, dismantle all those unhealthy habits they had to adopt in order to be with one another as safely as they possibly could while still 'employed', and then come back together with a clearer mind and a whole deal stronger than before, both as individuals and as a couple.

And I think how tired and downtrodden Crowley looks in that last shot is a precursor to this process, just as much as Aziraphale's smile is... So, let me get back to our favorite angel and what I personally think is going on with him.

I think to properly contextualize that smile we need to look at not just the happening of those infamous last fifteen minutes, but of S2 as a whole, and what Aziraphale does in it.

So, what is Aziraphale doing during S2?

At the start he seems to be more or less comfortably settled in his current life; he's as happy as ever doing what he's always done, enjoying humanity's creativity with his books and his music and his food and drinks, seemingly content to be puttering about in his bookshop (which is a stark contrast with Crowley's homelessness and his kinda adrift and depressed attitude). Of course then Jim!Gabriel throws a wrench right into that, but imo I think there was a lot more going on behind the facade of Aziraphale's well ingrained habits.

Sure, he still has all of his familiar comforts and his routine, but from the moment we see him interact with Crowley I saw a deep restlessness emerge in him: The panicked look he launches Crowley when Nina asks him about his 'naked man friend', the way he speaks with Crowley with all those 'our' he uses, the blatant way he keeps reaching over and touching Crowley-- To me that suggests that Aziraphale is clearly not as happy as he seems to be on a superficial glance. He clearly wants more with Crowley, wants to bring their relationship to the next step, but because the both of them are so deeply entrenched in their unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits and their inability to openly communicate it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale to just... You know. Take the first step, actually say something about it. So he just keeps throwing bait after bait in the water, hoping Crowley will bite and be the one taking the initiative as he's always done, finally allowing Aziraphale to accept said initiative, this time around.

Of course, we all see that Crowley doesn't take any first step, which is probably something deeply frustrating for Aziraphale at a subconscious level. That's how we get the ball; sure, on the face of it it was Aziraphale's way to make Nina and Maggie fall in love, but... Was it, really? Let's be real, for how entirely believable it is that Aziraphale makes up the lie about Nina and Maggie's love to cover for their miracle is, since we've seen him being anxious around other angels, I don't think for a second that had Aziraphale just stopped and spent three minutes thinking about it he wouldn't have found a way to convince Muriel that Nina and Maggie were, in fact, in love, especially with how 'green' Muriel is about humans.

I fully believe that Aziraphale is not properly thinking during S2, period. He's frustrated by his inability to bring his and Crowley's relationship to what he wants it to be, and that frustration and single-minded objective is utterly obfuscating his thought process. There are plenty of moments he seemed almost manic, imo, which I read as another sign about his 'impaired' (allow me the term) state of mind as of S2.

So, yes, the ball: On the face of it something to actually turn his lie to the Archangels into truth, but deeper down, perhaps almost unconsciously, I think Aziraphale sees the ball as a way to finally make him and Crowley happen. That fact that he's taking pointers about romance from human literature is blatant, and obviously he truly does believe the ball will be THE way to make love bloom.

If you stop and think about it, the ball scene is terrifying. These people are being manipulated to play the perfect background parts to make, what is in Aziraphale's mind, the height of romance atmosphere happen. The fact we get a juxtaposition with Nina's "what the F is going on, am I losing my mind???" rightful attitude underlines this. And I truly believe Aziraphale isn't exerting said manipulation with intent, but rather doing so subconsciously, because he's just so fixated on the idea of having finally the perfect set-up to have Crowley as he desires that he is influencing everything around him. After all, we all know they both have the tendency of making things happen the way they want simply by thinking that's how things are supposed to happen.

And again, he's so manic and giddy when he asks Crowley to dance, his ass is not LISTENING. He literally needed a brick thrown through a window to snap out of it.

So, in the present we have an Aziraphale who , in his own way, is trying to take the initiative, come out with plans. There is a moment that I think might have slipped under the radar of a lot of people but that's frightfully important about who Aziraphale is at this point in the story, and who he will need to become: "I have a plan," Aziraphale said to Crowley during the stare down with the demons outside of the bookshop after the ruined ball; Crowley didn't even seem to have registered that sentence at all, because his mind is already projected forward and going a mile a minute about what to do to keep both the humans and Aziraphale safe in this situation.

Crowley, who loves to swoop in and save Aziraphale, doing what he's always done to keep his angel safe, even to the detriment of their relationship with one another... And Aziraphale, who adores playing the part of the damsel in distress in turn, is actually telling Crowley that *he has a plan*.

That's not something to take lightly, methinks. That's very much just another sign that Aziraphale's individuality is struggling, trying to emerge through Aziraphale's anxiety and doubts and fears and deeply ingrained habits. Aziraphale's cognitive dissonance in regards to heaven, and his shaken faith in God are huge motivators of his actions, and in the grand scheme of things the scant few years he had away from under the oppressive thumb of heaven is nothing. It was barely any time at all in the face of the eternity of an immortal life spent under that oppression, and yet we are already seeing little glimpses of Aziraphale's rebellious side struggling to get fully free.

I think these little glimpses inform us at great lengths about the evolution Aziraphale's character will go through in S3, and greatly explains that strange smile right at the end; in my opinion that smile isn't the smile of someone who's trying to convince himself that he's ok, or realizing that Crowley loves him (he knew already, they both knew and have known for a long time, their inability to properly express those feelings was their downfall, but I don't think either of them has doubted even for a second when it comes to how much they love one another). In my opinion that smile is the smile of someone who is steeling himself for what he envisions in his future; equal parts old-sedated anxiety and yet determination to actually enact plans he's surely concocting in his brilliant little mind. That's the smile of someone who has just realized that not only they can, but that they need to do something, and you can damn well be sure they won't be sitting and twiddling their thumbs waiting to be saved, but they'll be the one saving themselves and everybody else along with 'em, this time.

Just as Crowley needs to actually spend some time define himself as himself, and not just in relation to Aziraphale, Aziraphale needs to spend some time shedding all those fears and doubts that are weighing him down, and emerge the other side someone much more self-assured and ready to do what he thinks is right without all the hesitations that have indirectly been strengthened by Crowley; in a way, by allowing Aziraphale an out with his 'temptations', Crowley had been feeding into those hesitations, and had been holding Aziraphale back from fully maturing, even if not done on purpose, obviously. Imo is very important for Aziraphale's character that he comes to realize that he doesn't need those excuses Crowley gifted him to keep doing what he thinks is right, that he actualizes his own morality properly, and enacts on it.

I don't have the faintest clue about what is going to happen in S3, but I do fully believe the above paragraph is what Aziraphale and Crowley's respective character arcs will focus on. And once they'll come back together they'll be the most power couple that has ever power coupl-ed, and the Metatron will have no clue about what is about to hit him >:)

[bebebelll]

does anyone know her dad? | dn3 x reader (part 3)

paring: daniel ricciardo x toto's daughter!reader, daniel ricciardo x wolff & shcumacher!reader warning: nothing (google translated german because i studied that language for 2 years and dont know a single word anymore) notes: part 1, part 2 and part 4 are recommended reading

ynquads god i love what the us grand prixs do to this man. there's something in the air and the cowboy hats are hot. i truly feel really blessed to have met you, to spend my life with you, to have been by your side and to have had you by mine. i just really love you ❤️❤️❤️

liked by danielricciardo, susie_wolff and 1 184 537 others

username haha jumping off a building now bye

danielricciardo you really love me ❤️

ynquads i really really love you danielricciardo really really really? ynquads really really really really danielricciardo wanna sneak out and go makeout? ynquads YEAH alex_albon no please dont we're on the same plane the restroom is small the walls are thin

maxverstappen1 gross

username sobbing screaming throwing up (fuck i am jealous)

danielricciardo i am so obsessed with you baby

ynquads i fucking adore you

f1wagsupdate as we all know that the figure skater and danny ric's girlfriend yn shcumacher is the child of toto wolff and michael shcumacher's sister, we decided to go on a deep dive. these are really the only photos we could find from facebook. we could only find this one photo of katarina shcumacher and not a single one her and toto together. but isn't toto just adorable with baby yn? and enjoy baby yn and max verstappen looking super cool!

liked by 46 956

username MAX VERSTAPPEN

username how is mick not using that last photo every year on their birthdays like i would print a pic like that of my siblings and put them up around school hallways and on the fridge

ynquads do not worry, auntie sophie and vic show that photo around every christmas

username ooh its too bad theres no photos of them together

username same bro i cant stop imagining some summer love ynquads they met a bar in berlin and got so fucking drunk that its a miracle they didn't get alcohol poisoning. i am so truly so really serious when i say that i'd be surprised if they even exchanged names before i was already cooking in my mom's stomach username what the fuck you saying ynquads i've seen an old homevideo about the morning after. i talk about it in therapy every week

username i love how yn is just lurking around every post about her and her parents

yt video: YN SHCUMACHER ATTENDS COTA - BRUNDLE GRIDWALK

comments:

username love the passive aggressive attitude to every camera she saw

username truly a lovely experience. yn kissed daniel before the race. she kissed max's cheek when he won and said something scandalous in german/dutch based on everyone's faces. i also saw a video of her laughing on the ground when lewis dsq was announced

username WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY SAYING IS THAT GERMAN

username yn: they are filming you, dad. you are very popular. toto: dont give them too much attention. you had a long flight. you just go and take a nap before the race. brundle and toto talk yn: well see how intact our relationship is after the race username intact 😂😂 lord that really is torger's kid

danielricciardo this woman is the single reason ive survived some darker times. she's so beautiful, lovely and sweet. elegant on and off the ice ❤️❤️the day i do not gush and drool about her is the day i'm dead. so in love

liked by ynquads and 2 487 577 others

username why am i crying

username cant come to the phone right now busy driving through concrete walls and off a cliff

ynquads i am THE luckiest girl ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo if youre lucky then ive been blessed by god ynquads dont you dare i win this danielricciardo youre not the one who was just on their knees i win ynquads come here and ill wrestle you danielricciardo only if you kiss the booboos better after

username am i the only one getting real suspicious about these "i love you much" post that they've been putting out for the entire month??? like what you doing all this for

username EXACTLY username they've been together for like four or five years too sooooo you know what people do around that timestamp 🤭🤭🤭

username just what the hell is that comment about being on their knees daniel

ynquads instagram story

danielricciardo funny thing about vegas

liked by ynquads, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 3 483 573 others

username BITCH WHAT

susie_wolff if you got married in a las vegas chappel, you are grounded till your 80th birthday yn - toto wolff

ynquads i didn't actually expect to love being engage this much

danielricciardo whats got you excited about this then? ynquads the fact that im gonna get to marry YOU maxverstappen1 stop being gross maxverstappen1 i already suffered through watching the proposal

username love this i want to snort this i want to inject this into my blood but did you get engaged and then eat junkfood while watching princess diaries 2

ynquads don't tell anyone 🤫 danielricciardo really dont tell anyone that amount of junkfood was not in the diet plan

@topguncultleader @eternalharry

[jackhues]

ferrari?! - charles leclerc

request: hii I loved your wolff!reader x charles ig concept could you please write more of them<33

requested by: anon : )

notes: trying out some new things, hope you guys like it, and pls don't be silent readers!! thanks for requesting <3

join my f1 taglist!

part one

pictures are not mine!

y/nwolff

liked by scuderiaferrari, lucawolff, pierregasly & others

y/nwolff - charles has got dad's approval, ferrari on the other hand... also, luca's a pain, i don't recommend having older brothers. check out the full video on my youtube! tagged lucawolff

pierregasly: did you guys take him on vacation to tell him?? -> y/nwolff: we needed him to be a little bit happy. i had no idea how he was going to react

lucawolff: older brothers are goated -> y/nwolff: i'd like to return mine

y/nisqueen: the pinky promise 🥺 liked by y/nwolff

charles_leclerc: so am i allowed to be in his vision or will he destroy me on sight?? -> y/nwolff: you can be in his vision lmaoo -> charles_leclerc: really? -> lucawolff: don't listen to her, she's lying -> y/nwolff: go away luca! but just to be on the safe side charlie, you should probably be near me so that his (nonexistent) anger dies down -> charles_leclerc: this isn't boosting my confidence -> userone: charlie 🥺🥺

usertwo: this is the toto content we signed up for!

userthree: luca and y/n are the best siblings on this app, love them!!

userfour: bestie, when's the new music coming?? liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: we'll see 🤭

conangray: why is this the funniest thing i've ever seen?? liked by y/nwolff -> oliviarodrigo: it's true, he hasn't stopped laughing for twenty minutes

f1newsandmore

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree & others

f1newsandmore: Toto Wolff and Charles Leclerc spotted before the race. After the video of Toto reacting to his daughter, Y/N Wolff, dating Charles Leclerc, we're all dying to know just exactly what this conversation was about. tagged charles_leclerc, y/nwolff

userone: toto explaining to charles that he's not good enough for y/n while he's with ferrari -> usertwo: and charles zoning out the second he heard y/n's name liked by charles_leclerc

userthree: i'm so invested in this entire thing -> userfour: aren't we all??

y/nwolff

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, oliviarodrigo & others

y/nwolff: dad, i promise i'm still a mercedes girl 📷 : charles_leclerc 🤍

lucawolff: says she's a mercedes girl, tags a ferrari boy -> y/nwolff: if you took the pictures like i asked, you'd get the creds

charles_leclerc: the ferrari bracelet is saying otherwise -> y/nwolff: charles!! shh!! -> userone: LMAO! y/n's fighting for her life and charles out here exposing her

lewishamilton: mercedes >> ferrari -> y/nwolff: LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK!

landonorris: mclaren >>> -> y/nwolff: boo 👎👎

y/nisqueen: YOU LOOK STUNNING! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: mwah 🥰

y/nwolff has posted on their story!

caption: 🤍

charles_leclerc

liked by lucawolff, conangrey, pierregasly & others

charles_leclerc: date night! (with toto's approval) tagged y/nwolff

y/nwolff: can't believe you didn't post the vid of me throwing you in the water -> charles_leclerc: i need to at least try and look cool on social media love -> userone: no one cares if you look cool! we wanna see the vid! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: don't worry, i gotchu -> charles_leclerc: i'm concerned -> lucawolff: no one told you to vote yes when she asked if she should make a yt channel -> charles_leclerc: y/n literally told me to -> lucawolff: this is where being a simp gets you -> y/nwolff: get out of my bf's comments or i'll post the vids from your last bday party -> userone: I LOVE THIS!

lucawolff: is no one gonna ask for my approval??! -> y/nwolff: no -> lucawolff: rude -> charles_leclerc: you literally covered for us for months, the approval had been given -> lucawolff: oh yeah -> usertwo: lmaoo luca tryna start shit but it didn't work!

userthree: time to pack my bags and sleep on the highway

userfour: they're so cute!

userfive: god, when will it be my turn?? 😭😭

part one

[rayslittlekitten]

My First Night

“You Got This” Masterlist

A/N: Okay I've been wanting to write this for a looooong time and i think I finally figured it out. I wanted this to be tender and sweet (maybe a bit idealized as my first time was NOT any of those). I honestly miss these two. "My First Night" by Mya was the song that inspired this (YT link below).

Update: I fucked up. I prematurely posted this and have now updated the fic.

Rating: E (18+ ONLY)

Word Count: ~1,300

Pairing: Teenager!Jax Teller x Teenager F! Reader/OC (Opie's sister)

Plot: You're finally ready to take the next step with Jax and lose your virginity to him.

Contains: underage teenage sex, first time sex, losing virginity, PiV, fluff and tenderness

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Jax asks, his eyes locked on yours.

You stare back and nod your head as you let out a shaky breath.

"It's gonna hurt a lot," he warns you.

"I-I'm ready," you reassure him.

Jax leans down to give you a kiss on your forehead before looking down to align himself with you. You wince as he starts pushing in. He pauses when you emit an unpleasant sound and he then sees your face contort.

"We can stop-"

"No, I want to do this," you tell him.

"Okay," he nods.

He continues to gently push in as he watches for your reactions. You try to control your breathing as you feel yourself being stretched out.

"Ow! Ow!" A tear spills from the corner of your eye.

Jax stills his hips again.

"Okay I'm pulling out-"

"No!" you sniffle. "J-just go slowly. How much more is there?"

Jax glances down between the both of you.

"I only got the tip in."

Jax starts placing butterfly kisses on your face, hoping to help soothe the pain.

"I don't wanna hurt you," Jax reminds you.

He thought he got you wet enough, but now he's thinking maybe he should have prepared you more. He got a bit too excited when you told him you were finally ready to lose your virginity to him. The two of you got comfortable enough to do everything up until sex. He would penetrate you only with his fingers and every time, he would make you orgasm, drenching his hand each time. But this time, he may have not given you enough foreplay, rushing it a bit to finally be able to do this with you. He thought the lubricant on the condom would also help. A lot has to do with teenage hormones, but a part of him also wants to do this with you because he wants to, in his own words, make love to you. You thought that was sweet and it made you feel even more special.

"M-maybe if I smoke some weed or have some beer-" you start rattling off ideas, partly to distract yourself from the slight discomfort between your legs.

"No," Jax shakes his head. "I want you to be sober. I'd feel like I'm taking advantage of you. We can try another time-"

"Please, Jackson," you plead. "I want this."

Jax is torn between his raging hormones and his feelings for you. He's even surprised at himself for having so much self-control right now.

"I gotta go all the way in if you want to get past the pain," he says with his brows turned down.

"I can take it," you nod. "Do it."

Jax finally nods and leans in to give you a tender kiss. He watches your reaction again as he pushes in. You wince but don't make a sound. Another tear slips out from your eye and he frowns.

"Keep going," you tell him.

With that, as gently as possible, he slides himself all the way to the brink, making you gasp. He stays still, letting your body get accustomed to the new sensation.

"Fuck, you're so tight."

You start crying, feeling the burn of getting stretched out.

"I know, I know. I’m sorry." He coaches you and guides you through your first time. "It'll feel better. I promise. Just relax."

He wipes the tears from your face with his thumbs and plants a kiss on your forehead. He then starts kissing you again, making out with you for a bit to distract you from the pain, which subsides after a few moments.

"How are you feeling?" he checks up on you.

"It doesn't hurt as much as anymore," you tell him.

"I'm gonna start going in and out, okay?"

You nod and brace yourself. He gives you another comforting kiss before he starts moving. His hips pull back and push in, slowly and gently. You let out a sigh, taking in this new feeling. When he senses your body in a more relaxed state, he picks up the pacing. The old and worn out wooden bed frame creaks as he rocks. The lumpy mattress that’s probably been stained with so many bodily fluids, dips below you. The clubhouse dorm room isn’t where you imagined your first time, but you and Jax had limited options. With the club on a run and Gemma running errands, this was the best time and place, but it doesn’t matter because all that matters is who you’re with.

You were self conscious of being completely naked for the first time in front of Jax, but all those insecurities have gone away. Instead, it is replaced by the feeling of his naked body rubbing against yours. You feel so connected to him in a way you've never expected. His skin is so soft and smooth. The nerves of your skin get more sensitive with each stroke. You want to embrace him with every inch of your body and stay like this forever. You slip your arms behind him, feeling his bare back under your palms as his muscles flex. The burn between your legs has transformed into a more pleasurable feeling and you can feel yourself getting more aroused. Suddenly, Jax pauses, remaining still while inside of you.

"W-what happened?" you ask, wondering if you may have done something wrong.

"I'm just... pacing myself," he replies. "If I keep going, I'm going to bust in like two pumps."

"I-is that normal?"

"For guys my age? Yeah. But I'm also just over excited. I rubbed one out before I came to see you, but obviously, that didn't help."

You catch him studying your face. There's a smile that reaches his twinkling eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing," Jax shakes his head. He opens his mouth again, but he stops himself.

"What is it?" you press.

He simply slots his mouth over yours before moving his hips again. This time, his pacing is a bit quicker and more forceful. You moan into his mouth feeling a warmth forming below your belly. You instinctively wrap your legs around his lower waist and hook your ankles together. His kisses turn feverish as his thrusts pick up. Your fingernails dig into his back.

"Jackson..." you pant. "It feels so good."

Jax groans as he tries to hold back, delaying his release for you. He shifts his hips, changing up the position a little and you moan when he hits a new spot. A somewhat familiar yet new sensation rapidly multiples.

"Oh god," you yelp. Your body tenses and the tightening in your gut spreads.

"Let it go, darlin'," Jax grunts, resting his forehead against yours. "Let it all go."

He punches up against you as he quickly starts spiraling. You moan and cry out when something inside you snaps and the warmth floods your entire body. Jax lets out a growl and lets himself go as soon as he feels your wall contracting, no longer able to wait. You arch up and look up at him, your face contorting as your orgasm takes over you. You gasp when you feel him pulsating inside you.

"Fuck!" Jax growls.

He continues to pump inside of you until all of his seed spills out and collapses on top of you. His face is buried in your neck as you both catch your breaths. Your heart is pounding hard against your chest and you wonder if Jax can feel it as well.He finally pulls back and looks at you again with that same look he did earlier..

"I love you."

Your heart is so full right now, you can cry.

"I love you, too, Jackson."

In this moment, you are so happy, you are certain there is absolutely nothing that can take it away. Jax nudges his nose against yours and your hands cup his face before your lips meet again.

[machveil]

Has anyone brought to you the question of what type of car Konig drives? I can’t see him fitting in anything but a giant truck, but also the idea of him in a little VW Bug makes me wheeze. (Of course there’s always the third option of motorcycle, but that might just be because motorcycles are hot af)

OKAY ANON— you activated my brain and had me dig through a 300+ asmr playlist I have on YT for a very specific video so I’m going on a tangent and a half about this haha

I’ll start with the smallest thought portion because this is going to be long…

Retired!König strikes me as owning a motorcycle, first and foremost. he’s always liked the way they look, so now with a hefty savings account and ample free time, he’s decided this can be his retirement project. he could buy a new motorcycle, really treat himself, but this guy is a working man! he buys a beat up, ‘well-loved’ bike (even the seller was surprised someone was actually buying it)

even though Retired!König definitely has enough cash saved up to make the process of fixing the bike up fast… he doesn’t. he wants this to be a pastime he can keep up, even it means he can’t ride the bike for a long time. he’d order parts individually every week or so - smaller parts, maybe in batches. he’ll grab a beer, put on some music, open his garage, and let the neighbors have a show of him dismantling and breathing new life into this motorcycle

all in all, I think it takes Retired!König a year, a year and a half, to fully finish the bike (of his own volition). by the end it’s beautiful - new sleek paint, high end parts, the works. …he could possibly be so into it that Retired!König opens an actual garage shop and fixes up vehicles (mechanic!König anyone?). yeah, he’s retired, but having a hobby that makes you money? can’t say no to that, Maus

ANYWAYS, on to the meat and potatoes of this post

so, my beautiful, oh so smart anon, thank you for sparking my brain into remembering THIS VIDEO. you CANNOT tell me this isn’t König coded, the entire thing SCREAMS König to me (actually, the entire channel does, but I can only fangirl so much)

König owning a Jeep scratches my brain right - I’m not knowledgeable on cars/trucks, so if you think there’s a better off-roading/camping vehicle I will believe you 100%. also, I’m sorry, I’m watching the video as I’m writing this - König would definitely take his fluffy, little kitty camping with him. the guy in the video has a dog, but my cat dad propaganda will never stop

it doesn’t matter where or how old König is, he loves camping and immersing himself in nature - he needs a vehicle that can keep up with him. it started as a kid where he’d flee into the local woods after school or on weekends for alone time. he convinced his mama that he’d be okay if he camped out in the woods, and after one dinky camping trip he was sold. every chance he gets he’s off in nature - hiking, camping, he tried caving once but he was too big :( he liked the entrance to the cave though. he adores bird watching, definitely has high end binoculars. he’d buy a camera too, but he’d rather enjoy nature in the moment rather than fumbling to take a photo. König thinks that some things don’t need to be captured in a photo, it’s okay just sitting down experiencing it, just remembering it

so König enjoys having a vehicle that lets him get away from people, he doesn’t mind driving til he’s almost running on empty. he’d gladly drive out into the middle of nowhere just to sit down and take in nature. always carries a box of trash bags in his truck so he can pick up litter along the road. and, since his vehicle is what allows him to travel, he takes very good care of it

back to his Jeep, he decks it out like the guy in the video. when König camps he treats it as a ‘how long can I stay out here’ ordeal, or up until he has to go home for obligations. so König tries to maximize space, I’ll say it every time - König has a place for everything, he’s an organized king✨

I’m not going to lie, I’m just going to say look at the guy’s Jeep in the video. they way he has it set up is just how I imagine König’s Jeep - this guy has a net attached to the ceiling for supplies, I could see König bungee cording a cooler in the back (completely organized), I just have so many thoughts on König camping this is too much haha

I’m trying to stay focused on the car aspect, but like… camping with König :( I guess I could make that another post if people want to see that

I’m sorry the latter half was so all over the place, I tried to keep it simple and edit it down, but I couldn’t anyways… he definitely owns some type of car that can handle camping. I’m partial to this specific Jeep though, call me biased lol

I looked up that VW Bug and I’m SCREAMING, this poor man haha! he’d be so hunched over, anon, his poor back. König definitely loves the aesthetic/look of the VW Bug, but he’d rather deep clean his home than sit in that (which says a lot). if you own a cute little car he’d offer to drive you everywhere. he claims that he’s being a gentleman, that you shouldn’t have to lift a finger, but in actuality he just doesn’t want to sit in that cramped little vehicle. he’s so sorry, Maus, let him make it up to you by being his passenger princess?

[megabuild]

wait I'm so curious what are the four 'sects' of mcyt ?

full disclaimer: this is something i've been thinking up myself largely based on my own personal experience with each aspect of the fandom, so if people want to correct things or add on, i'd be happy to see it! having said that,

this ⤴️ is a condensed look at my fandom crit autism. largely fuelled by the people's want to label mcyt fandom as one single united fandom when that is far from the case- never mind that plenty of smps has vastly different audience, eg. a preteen who's just getting into 3rd life after watching hermitcraft as a kid is not going to be rubbing shoulders with hardcore fans of epic smp, even within fandoms of singular smps there are still vast differences between the areas of discussion- leading to this labelling of four "sects"! there are other areas ofc, such as insta and tiktok, but i would consider these the main areas where mcyt is discussed (at least for hermitcraft/3l, which is my personal focus- i know dsmp was big on tiktok with cosplayers(?) but can't speak to it much) in depth, as well as the main areas ccs may look to in order to understand their fandom.

it's a massive simplification but the categories are as follows; ability to interact directly with ccs (and if the cc is likely to respond), ability to engage with criticism (both valid crit and more negative commentary, veering into hate), ability to engage with characterisation (as in, accepting that cubito is separate from cc, and what level they will accept that it- this also goes for shipping/nsfw content) and the primary age group (because that is in part relevant when dealing with youtube comments.)

to me this especially matters not just for ccs but for people within fandom to understand where certain sentiments (especially irt negative commentary) is coming from and how they can solve that- too often i see people on here picking fights over perceived negativity when it actuality that largely comes from reddit and yt. that's not to say it isn't possible here, but it is certainly less of an issue imo.

[skibidilando]

A Day at quadrant: LN4 (Part 2)

Author note: I don’t even know how to post anything on this and never wrote a fic but I hope this is good but I think it’s pretty shit and I haven’t finished it yet and if any writers want to use this idea you can for sure just @ me please oh and if you have feedback please let me know thanks xx

Also i tried to change my like writing style thing cause i feel like it was shit last time but yeah idk

Lando x quadrant fem reader

Blurb: reader is a member of quadrant, she games most of the time but also likes f1 along with her best friend Ria bish. She is friends with all members at quadrant and finds it a good laugh with all her mates, but maybe her view of someone in particular is more than a mate..

Warnings: sexualising, swearing, mention of a gun, leaked tape, sad distraught reader, friends to maybe lovers if I make it a series? Smut-ish? If I missed any let me know (I don’t know how to do warnings sorry x)

Well wasn't last week a fucking eventful week. You still cant stop thinking about Lando right next to you comforting you about what happened. You're starting to feel better about the whole issue and get some support from people online and all the other members of quadrant, but fuck that was just shit. You haven't been in any quadrant videos since, but you're in a better place now and probably need to start participating in them more.

Lando and ethan make the idea of quadrant meeting up at landos apartment and trying to train like him for a day. You aren't exactly looking foward to it but oh well, at least Ria is going. You text your gc back and tell them that you will do it too. Then, you get a message.

Lando: are you 100% sure ur okay to come back and film already? you dont have to if you dont want to.

Y/n: yep. I need to get in more videos and im feeling better anyways, thanks for asking.

Lando: all good

Well that was polite and unexpected of Lando to reach out, but whats more unexpected is for your panties to be soaked right now over 2 text messages. well fuck, oopsies.

That night all you can think of is Lando, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he was circling around your head like it was an f1 race. You decide to get your head out of it and call Ria to come over and have a chat, since she is your best friend after all. Shortly she pulls up to your apartment in Monaco, funning in bursting of excitement to see you.

"RIAAAAAAA!" you shout when you open the door for her. "Y/NNNN" she replied back. You give her a hug and make her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. You guys sit and chat about the f1 grand prix in Bahrain coming up, and how you hope Lando continues to have a good season with Oscar this year. "Did you see the chat about the new yt vid we doing" You ask Ria. "omg yes and they are bringing angry ginge in I heard" Ria replies back.

"STOP IT" you yell back laughing. You love ginge and his videos, who wouldn't? he's a very very funny bloke. "OMG i''m definitely coming tomorrow then to the recording are you kidding?".

Unfortunately time goes by when you're having fun, and Ria was the most fun, so she had to go a few hours later which felt like minutes. Besides you both need sleep for the youtube vid you're filming tmr at Lando's. You go to bed and try to sleep as much as you can, which didnt happen lol.

rise and shine love. It's already 6am and time to go to Lando's place to film. Normally you don't have to wakeup early as fuck but for the purpose of the video and "being Lando Norris" you had no choice. You get to his apartment after parking at the front and knock on the door, to which he opens. "hi y/n" he says nicely and gives you a hug. "So good to see you Lando, where is everyone?".

"first here mate" he says almost excitedly. "so what are we actually doing today like playing video games or some shit" you say. "haha your funny mate, we are lifting weights, eating what i eat, using the sim, and neck strengthening" he says laughing at you. "fuck r u taking the piss" you say laughing. "oh my days Landoooo do I look like an f1 driver" you also reply with. "well yeah thats the whole point of the video ya dumb fuck" he replied jokingly.

"hahaha get fucked lando nowins" you snap back. he laughs as you proceed to miss the chair you went to lean on making you flinch and stumble looking like an idiot. he is still laughing which makes you laugh too. "Lando norizz" u reply. "haha you think I have no rizz, funny" he replies egotistically. "yeah i do actually" you don't at all, in fact he hasn't even tried yet he has rizzed you up. "wanna bet?" he snaps out.

you don't have time to think before he pins you against the wall and just looks at you with those hot eyes of his. you can already feel your cheeks burning and your thong getting wet. "you say I have no rizz yet your cheeks are burning, and I bet those panties are more soaked than that porridge you tipped over the counter when you stumbled at my gaze, huh?" he grunts out.

what the fuck just happened, first how did he know and secondly did he just pin you against the wall. not the first time you want that to happen. you know what fuck it if we wants to be like that then he may as well be uncomfortable the whole video.

"how did you know about my tight, black lacy thong i'm wearing over my tight pussy hey? not your first time thinking about it aye?" you tease him, but while walking over to him you see him looking uneasy.

why? because ginge was at the fucking door and heard that, and can see Lando's boner from a mile away. "well bonjour" ginge says laughing. "bonjour mate" lando says as he daps up ginge covering his boner and trying to ignore what just happened.

You already know this video is gonna be the longest set of your life..

sorry its a short one x

[desire-mona]

things abt dps i feel like we dont address enough (photos attached will be shit quality, i took screenshots from yt clips LMAO)

heavily ib @pencileraser1's post abt stuff he noticed n such

the fucking KIDS at welton. the CHILDREN. maybe its just me but i always find myself forgetting that welton isnt a highschool + there are in fact a lot more students than the ones we're focusing on. thats what makes welton so like. evil? to me? they start pushing these kids into a box EARLY.

related, i wouldve LOVED to see how(/if?) keating taught these kids, or rly any other class! he has other classes!!! i think!

ok. of course. neil is a smoker, we've touched on that. but charlie is too?? and he's the one who provides the cigs???? obviously the easy explanation is that he does it to be rebellious and stuff but also Is There Something Else. much to think abt. also wondering where he gets his cigs but thats not rly anything i dont think.

this ones just funny but when mr perry tells the boys they can take a seat and todd simply does not. i KNOW he wasnt sitting before and he needs to unpack and stuff but ITS STILL FUNNY.

"take your seats boys"

"🧍"

also my guilty pleasure is the dps but its todd being anxious video bc man usually crack videos arent my jam but unfortunately i find it so funny

also!!! neil calling his dad sir. obviously its something so glaringly obvious that we dont need to have a discussion abt how theres a disconnect between them. like wow rly thanks mona i didnt know. but come on!!! it makes me sad!!! also they shake hands later in this scene and its the most affectionate/ friendly we see these two get. and its a handshake. and i think what makes it worse is that neil is a SUPER physically affectionate person with his friends. if u watch the movie and pay attention to how often he's touching someone else then ur gonna be like man. he rly was jumping at every opportunity huh.

something about the way neil and the boys act around mr perry makes me view him as more of a drill sargent than anything. everyone immediately stands upon him entering the room. they dont sit until given permission. it rly puts the whole military school thing into perspective but NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME. as much as i hate mr perry, i wanna know what his life was like growing up. this man lived thru the great depression AND wwii, theres stories.

cam's stupid fucking face when keatings behind him larping ghosts. i will never stop talking about how sassy this kid is. the dps redheads go criminally unacknowledged in terms of comedy because OH MY GOD. CAM AND MEEKS WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? they both pulled the most dastardly judgemental looks and they make me cackle. a bit earlier in this scene meeks goes full 🙄🤨 on sniffles (tissue kid. i call him sniffles) and it is, without exaggeration, my fav part of the movie.

the fact that i totally thought knox was gonna fall off his bike and eat shit in this scene. it would be so out of place since dps isn't exactly full of physical comedy but GOD i still fully anticipated it. either that or him getting attacked by a bird. theres totally symbolism surrounding birds in this movie btw and idk what to make of it. if any of u lovely ppl have a theory then lmk immediately.

keating so accurately calling cam out being like "is this right is this right. am i walking right." BC YESSS. i will eventually make a fully fledged cam post but to briefly touch on it, i find cam to be very confused on what is right, usually in terms of morals. a whole situation of confusing your personal values with the rules, thinking theyre one in the same, and completely abandoning what u actually believe. unfortunately i think neils death rly amplified that nd is what led him to tattle. cuz cam is still willing to break the rules in the beginning of the movie!! he's outwardly judgemental but he still does it!! much to discuss, i promise i will eventually.

keatings face after todd yawps!!! theres not much to say here he is just so proud!!! sweet little moment!!!! keatpostin!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

u guys know im an avid knox hater but this made me giggle. rip knox overstreet u wouldve loved twitch streaming.

THE SPECIFICS OF THIS SHOT. i was gonna make a post a while ago being like "idk i find it funny that the main focus of this shot isnt even one of the poets" and then i realised that WAITTTTTTT THATS THE POINT!!!! keating reached kids besides the poets!!! u didnt have to be in the dead poets society to be affected by the way he taught his classes!!! u just had to be his student!!!!! also i love the fact that the kids who stayed seated r ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED.

the ending shot. oihghgghgg. it was SUCH a choice to set it up this way and honestly i adore peter for making it. this shot is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT and i love it. when i first watched this i was like "uhm ok interesting choice putting todd between this kids legs but I GET IT. one of the biggest things i remember from the film classes i took is that the way u set up shots is sooo important narratively, and one way to rly push the narrative is the space around a character in a shot. for example! if u have a character on screen surrounded by a TON of negative space then it rly emphasises how alone/ isolated they are. on the other end of the spectrum (the todd spectrum), if you surround a character in a shot with other objects or obstructions, like todd and this kids legs, then it rly emphasises how trapped and confined they are. looking at this makes me feel like. claustrophobic almost, like it's genuinely a bit harder to breathe looking at it. TODD IS STILL TRAPPED IN THAT SCHOOL. YES HE STOOD ON THE DESK AND YES HE NOW HAS THE MOTIVATION TO BE MORE CONFIDENT BC OF NEIL BUT HE! IS STILL! TRAPPED THERE!

more on todd since im on a roll here.

i was also gonna add that we dont rly talk about todd personality wise outside of poetry and anxiety but then i realised, what else is there? we dont really see much about him as a person outside of that, and i think thats the point! todd is constantly overshadowed by his brother, we know that, but i dont think we realise HOW MUCH that ties in with his entire character. quite honestly, outside of poetry and anxiety, ALL we have surrounding todd is his brother and his achievements. and of course! that makes sense! his parents want him to be just like his brother, they dont care about who he is as a person. UGH.

the desk set scene rly is the most insight we'll get into todds actual personality and desires imo, and thats what kills me. he wants a car!!!! get this boy a car!!!!!!!!! we rly see him start to open up before neils death and i wouldve LOVED to get to know todd when he's actually in a place to be himself!! but of course we never got that! sobs.

anywho. thats all i have for now. PLEASE share ur thoughts if u have any pls pls pls. encouraging discussion!! i love love love hearing about the specifics nd stuff, theres soooo much to pick apart abt this movie so i wanna hear everyones thoughts.

[erii-ya]

Massacre Soldier Killer being a dad?

One Piece FanFic Killer x FemReader

A/N: I know it’s already so late, but still, belated Happy Birthday to our adorable vice-captain Killer. I’ve been so busy lately and couldn’t properly organize my thoughts, so my KillerxReader stories have been on a long pause. Anyway, I accidentally saw a YT vid about different types of writers and discovered that I am a ‘Pantser’ - a term most commonly applied to fiction writers, especially novelists, who write their stories "by the seat of their pants."—someone who doesn’t plan out much (or anything) in advance. So meeee. 😅

Content warning: Long story ahead. Swear words. Killing. Pregnancy. Abortion. WC: 7,9k *I decided not to split the story into multiple parts to make it up to whoever reads my stories*

************************************************************************

As a responsible vice-captain, Killer doesn’t plan on having a child with you until his partner, Eustass Kid, fulfills his dream of becoming the Pirate King. First, because the environment won't suit a child, he knows how dangerous it is in the New World. Second, he won’t be able to fully take care of you while you're pregnant with his child. And third, he’s unsure if he will be a good father.

However, by the time everything had been settled, his next priority would be you, probably thinking of building a future with you. He can’t promise to give you a perfect life, but he’ll try his best to make it fulfilling and worthwhile for you. He’s already blessed to have met you and still thinks about why the hell did you chose him when there are better men out there that are more deserving.

BUT, fate wants to make a prank out of it, and because of a slight miscalculation on your part, you end up conceiving. What’s worse is that you only confirmed it on his birthday.

************************************************************************

I.

“Hey, are you alright? You’re pale.” Killer asked you while you were both in the middle of making Lunch. You've been pretty under the weather for a couple of days now.

“I’m fine. Just got a bit dizzy, is all.” giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I can take a rest after this.”

You caught a bad case of the flu last month; recovery took a whole week.  Emma, the crew’s doctor, said it may be because of fatigue, so your captain, Eustass Kid, ordered you not to do everything simultaneously and to look out for yourself more. You tend to overwork yourself constantly, and everyone on the ship gets disoriented when you go sick. Mainly because you managed everyone’s daily tasks so that they would be organized.

“It’s better if you take a rest now. I’ll handle everything else.” 

“Hell no! You’re the one who should be taking your sweet time relaxing since today’s your day. You should leave this to me instead.” trying to shoo him away.

“Nah. It’s just like any other day. Nothing special.” You still want to argue about it, but another wave of nausea hits you. This gives Killer all the more reason to kick you out of the kitchen. He insists you see Emma first to give you a check-up and meds, which you do since your uneasiness is getting annoying.

“Overworking yourself again, I see.” was the first thing the doctor told you once you entered her clinic.

“Not really. Captain’s keeping an eye on everything I do, so I can’t really move around like I always do. Told me to regain my strength first when it’s already been a month since I caught the flu.” you said after she gestured for you to sit on the medical bed.

“Can’t blame the captain. If you only saw the chaos out there while you’re in recovery. It was bad.”

“That bad?”

“It’s terrible.” you only answered with a sigh. When you first joined the Kid Pirates, you saw how disorderly the environment was and corrected that, although it took you quite a while to do so.

Emma started to ask you questions about your symptoms. After writing everything down and examining you, she returned to your charts to analyze the data for a diagnosis. A few minutes passed, and you saw her raising one of her brows while looking at your charts, making you curious.

“What? Did I end up with another flu? ‘Cause I swear, it’s no fun.” you commented, crossing your arms.

“Well, uhm, I actually have some good news for you.” she answered, then looked at you. “Two, to be exact.” Now, it was your turn to raise a brow. Usually, you’ll get both good and bad news, but having two good news?

“I’m dying here, Emma. Spill it already.” 

“So, you don’t have a flu.” then silenced. It seems like Emma’s having some hesitation before telling you the other ‘good’ news.

“Emma!” you yelled, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked at your charts, then back at you, and did that at least three more times. The suspense is killing you.

Instead of saying the second one, she started asking you again. “Y/N, when was the last time you took the contraceptive pill I gave you?”

“This morning. Why?”

“Were you diligently taking those pills even while you were sick last month?” her question made you think back. If memory serves you right, you held off on taking the birth control pills while you were on a sick bed and never had contact with Killer around that time, either.

“I started retaking the pills after I recovered, though.”

“And when was your first contact with Killer-san after your recovery?”

“Well, it was the same day I retake the pill. The reason I remembered retaking it.”

“Ok, so was it the blue or the pink pill?” The what now? At this point, you’re at a loss.

“Emma, you’re confusing me. What blue and pink? It was always a pink pill. Never had a blue one.”

Emma face-palmed. By now, she was sure about your diagnosis. You were slow to catch on, but you eventually did after a couple of silences. And when you did…

“Holy shizz… Are you telling me that I’m..?” you can’t even say it. Emma didn’t say anything either and just nodded her head in agreement. The face that you’re making this time can’t be explained. A lot of emotions were bubbling up inside of you.

“Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no.” you started to panic and became paler. Emma was quick to approach you after seeing you start a panic attack. You gripped her shirt and said, “This can’t be, Emma. THIS is not supposed to happen! I religiously took those pink pills you gave me for a year! Why now?! What’s with blue pills?! The pink?!” you’re practically screaming at her now with tears flowing down your face.

Emma covered your mouth tightly to suppress your screams. She told you to come down, or else the others would hear you unless you wanted them to know the big news. She’s right. No one should know, so you tried to calm yourself upon hearing her suggestion. 

You inhaled and exhaled sharply while trying to suppress your emotions and tears. When Emma saw you had calmed down, she began to explain about the blue and pink pills. She said that she gave you two different bottles of pills before, which are colored blue and pink. Pink is for daily use, while the blue one should be consumed right after intercourse if, by any chance, you stop taking the pink pills regularly.

Since you were out with the flu for a whole week last month, you couldn’t take your regular pink pills, and Killer, being Killer, once he was sure you had recovered, took his time to ‘recharge’ you with ‘Vitamin K’ or as he’d like to call it. The miscalculation on your part was forgetting about Emma’s advice about how to consume the two pills properly. 

You totally forgot about the blue pills since you never had a skip of the regular pink ones for over a year until you got sick. You thought by then, if you start retaking the pink pills, it’ll work just the same.

You wipe the tears continuously escaping your eyes and grab Emma by her shoulder. “This conversation will stay between the both of us. You hear me, Emma? No words about this can leave this room, and I’m dead serious.”

“Of course. My patients' records are confidential. Like you, I may be a pirate, but I still follow medical ethics. However…” she looked at you straight in the eyes, “I think Killer-san has the right to know about this too.”

Your eyes widen at her advice. “NO! Definitely not!”

“But he’s the father, Y/N!” 

“And he’s also our vice-captain, Emma! He has his priorities, and that’s Kid. Captain won’t be happy to know about this too, and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.” you insist. The doctor gave you a sympathetic look and didn’t say another word. You left and went to your and Killer’s shared bedroom. Your mind is too occupied with what happened in the clinic, but the exhaustion pulls you into a deep sleep.

II.

When you wake up, it’s already dark. You don’t know how long you’ve been out, and the first thing that came to mind was the revelation you heard earlier. Getting the flu again seems a better diagnosis, after all. You tried to shift in bed when you realized big, strong arms were wrapped around you and a leg locking you in place—warm breath blowing on your left temple. 

You saw Killer sleeping peacefully beside you with his mask off. You were blessed to see that gorgeous face every day, and you couldn’t help but caress it. He moved slightly when he felt the warmth of your hand, tightening his grip on you.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, love.” you said softly, giggling at his actions. You heard him hum in agreement.

Minutes passed, and you savored the peaceful silence, listening to Killer’s rhythmic breathing beside you. You’re already content with this. Spending your days as a pirate alongside the man you love was challenging, but being in his arms like this at the end of the day makes it all worth it. He makes you feel safe. He makes you happy. He makes you feel…home.

You unconsciously placed your hands on your stomach. Family… You never thought of the idea before. Having a family with Killer. Not because you don’t like it but because of both your current situation. Especially when your captain, Eustass Kid, has come a long way to fulfilling his dreams. 

That’s when you decide on what to do. The child will only be a nuisance, and you won’t let the child drag the crew down. It’s the only way you can think of. There’s no other choice. 

Tears sting your eyes, and you try your best to stifle a cry when someone bangs the door loudly. “Oi, Killer! Get your fuckin’ ass outta here! We’re celebrating your birthday, and you hole yourself up in there? GET OUT! NOW!” it was Kid, banging at the door profusely.

Killer grunts but gets up anyway. He walked over the door to open it, displaying Kid’s grumpy face. “Fucking finally!” your captain said. He looked past Killer to peek at you. “You feeling Okay?” he asked with concern in his voice.

You smiled at him and nodded, “Strong as a bull, captain.”

He bobs his head, satisfied, and looks back at Killer, telling him to dress up and drag you out on the deck. Even added to keep your hands off each other for the time being and just get back to your business after the party before he disappeared. You laughed at his last remark.

You got up and went to hug Killer from behind. “Well, let’s get going, birthday boy, or the captain might feed us to the sharks.”

Killer chuckles, “I doubt it. He loves us too much to do that.”

You both dressed up and went to the others. Everyone is having a blast. You can hear them from where your room is. The night went well, and you’re enjoying the rock session Kid and Killer started with Killer being the drummer when the ship doctor approached you.

“How are you feeling now?” Emma asked. “Is that alcohol?!” snatching away the drink in your hand.

“Come on, Emma. I’m fine, and this’ll be the last time I can enjoy that.” trying to get your drink back from her hands.

“Are you seriously thinking of harming your child, Y/N?” she whispered harshly at you with wide eyes.

You stared at her, then sighed, “I am not. A’ight? Now give that back. I’ll look suspicious if I don’t drink.”

“Not if you’re feeling unwell.” Emma called one of the crew members nearby and gave the alcohol to him. Telling him you can’t drink because of an upset stomach.

Emma stayed by your side all night while Killer enjoyed his time with the other crew members. “He’s so respected, isn’t he?” you suddenly blurted out.

“Of course, he is. He’s the second strongest next to the captain and takes good care of all of us. Not to mention the special care towards you.” she gave you a knowing look. You hummed in agreement, a smile ghosting your face.

“He’ll be a good father, too, Y/N. I can envision it.” she added.

You didn’t answer and just gazed at Killer from a distance. Emma doesn’t need to let you know because you can see it, too. However, the timing isn’t right. There’s so much that Killer wants to do to help his partner, his best friend, and you can’t let yourself hinder that. Not you. Not this child.

III.

Six months later…

Kid approaches Killer, who’s busy thrashing the life out of a pirate from a crew they ambushed. “Killer. We’re done here. Let’s get back to Victoria.”

His words were brushed aside, and Killer continued to use the pirate as a punching bag. Killer’s been like this since you left without a word. He was letting out his frustrations of not being able to find your whereabouts on mindlessly and mercilessly killing anyone, earning him the title of 'Massacre Soldier'.

*flashback*

A few days after his birthday, the Victoria Punk docked on an island to get supplies. You went out with some of your crew members to shop when you split yourself from them in the middle of town and hired a boat to stow away. 

At least, that’s what they all thought.

When, in fact, you return to the ship and hide somewhere you know they won’t find. You then waited for the right time to snuck out. Feeling sorry for the citizens who got hooked up on your own dilemma when your crew, together with Kid and Killer, almost flipped the island upside down just to find you.

You took it as a chance to escape and sailed away with a boat you bought in the morning. Stopped at the nearest island and snuck on a merchant’s ship you didn’t even know where it was heading. You did that a few more times until you ended up on a secluded island. Far from where you’ve been. Far from marines and pirates. Far from the man you love.

It was in an isolated area in the New World where help was impossible. The island's living conditions were poor but peaceful, and the island folks were friendly. You started your new life there, with the little soul blossoming in your belly. 

You changed your name and your looks. Cut your hair. The purple hair Killer loved so much is now dyed silver. Your red eyes, once shining like a sparkling flame that Killer loved to stare at, have now changed to green. You were unrecognizable unless someone assessed you carefully.

You found yourself an abandoned small hut up in the mountains. It looked like no one had ever lived there for a long time, so you settled in and began your single life there.

Meanwhile…

“Who did you say was pregnant?! Y/N?!” Kid growled at Emma. The doctor felt shivers run down her spine. She’s standing in front of the big four while being circled by the crew.

“Y-yes, captain.” she answered meekly.

“Then why didn’t you tell us immediately?!?!” Kid was furious in disbelief. He was as worried as Killer when you disappeared without a trace. Killer, on the other hand, clenched his fists so hard in an attempt to stop himself from punching the doctor. He doesn’t care if she’s a woman. He’s so mad right now he wants to wring her neck right there and then for keeping your pregnancy a secret from him.

“For the record, captain, I did not PURPOSELY keep it a secret from all of you, especially from Killer-san,” Emma said in a defense. “God knows how hard I persuaded Y/N to get her to confess the matter to him. It didn’t even come to me that she would leave us. In fact…” and she trailed off.

Killer didn’t like the sudden halt. It ticked him off. “Why did you stop, Emma? Continue.” he said, but Emma was hesitant. “I said CONTINUE!” he shouted.

Everyone flinched and was surprised at Killer’s sudden outburst. He was usually calm and collected, but right now, he’s different. He’s trying to suppress his anger because he might go on a rampage if not.

Emma exhaled sharply before saying, “In fact, I thought she would most likely abort the baby.” without missing a beat.

Killer held his breath after hearing the doctor’s words. He was wondering if you really thought of aborting his child. Kid broke the awkward silence and asked the doctor, “What made you think she would do that?”

“Well, because when we confirmed it at the clinic the other day, during Killer-san’s birthday, she had a panic attack, telling me over and over that it shouldn’t happen. The baby, I mean.”

Killer’s shoulders dropped, which Kid noticed. It pains him to see his best friend getting crushed by the news.

The doctor continued, looking at Killer, “Killer-san, please don’t think badly of Y/N. It’s not like she doesn’t want the baby. It was only my initial opinion after seeing her fit in my clinic.”

“I was with her all night during your birthday celebration. I saw how she lovingly stared at you while gently caressing her belly. She was doing it unconsciously, I think. She even stopped drinking alcohol and taking caffeine since then, and you know how she loved her iced coffee.” Emma finished.

“She can’t live without it,” said Killer, to which everyone agreed. They know you can consume up to 8 servings of iced coffee daily.

“I believe she left because she doesn’t want to burden anyone and that the captain wouldn’t be happy to know about it. She was just thinking about all of us and how it may affect everyone.” Emma concluded.

“That dumb woman.” Kid gruffed. “Why the hell won’t I be fucking happy if she’s carrying my niece! Or nephew, whatever!” He turned towards Killer, “We’re going to find that stupid woman of yours, Killer. Even if we need to re-route.”

Killer nods, grateful to his captain, “I owe you, Kid.”

“No, we owe her. Also, she insults me for leaving this crew like that. Doesn’t she know by now that she’s my family, too?” Kid may be violent, stubborn, and grumpy, but he considers you his sister. You took care of him and his crew and did a lot to help him, too, so he’s quite disappointed with your actions. He hoped you could be more selfish than selfless.

*end*

Going back to the present, Killer only stopped thrashing the poor pirate when he felt satisfied. There were still no clues about you, and he became increasingly worried as the day passed. Knowing that you’re living by yourself with your growing belly in god knows where for half a year now.

“We’ll stop by the next island we see to get some supplies, and then we’ll continue to look around for Y/N.” Kid said to where Killer only nodded in acknowledgment. They went back to Victoria, and as usual, after cleaning up, Killer went to the kitchen to grab some beer. It has been a routine for him to drown himself in booze because it helps to calm his nerves and fall asleep. He had difficulty getting some sleep since you left, causing him to get insomnia.

A few days later, the Kid Pirates stumbled upon a small island that was quite isolated. It doesn’t seem like they’ll get their needed supplies in there, but they still need to dock to check and do maintenance on the ship. So they did.

“Killer, wake up!” Kid bangs on his door. “We’re docked on an island! Move your ass and get some fresh air before you rot to death!” he called.

Killer eventually went out to walk around the island to see if there were any supplies they could buy. At first, he was hesitant but thought he couldn’t always act like a child and should help the crew with the other tasks to lessen the workload.

He was looking around some stalls when he heard a familiar laugh, making him stop dead in his tracks. It was a laugh he had longed to hear. He did a quick turn to scan his surroundings, hoping to find his favorite purple hair that he hadn’t seen for six months, but to no avail. No purple-haired woman was around, but he could still hear the familiar laughter. 

After carefully examining the area, his eyes then found the source. On a stall a few feet away, there was a silver-haired woman with her back turned against him, talking happily to the stall owner. She was the one laughing. He stared at the woman for a long time until she turned slightly at an angle that made it possible for Killer to see the side of her face. Silver hair and green eyes. He first thought it couldn’t be you until he noticed her bulging belly. 

Was it really you? He felt his heart stopped at that moment. Breaking out in cold sweat, hands trembling, he slowly walked over to where you are—then stopped. He started having doubts. 

Do you hate him? 

Do you still love him?

What will you feel once you see him? Scared? Hatred?

Thoughts were running wild in his head, making it more difficult for him to approach you. So he decided to tail behind you instead, as discreetly as he could. He doesn’t want to surprise you and wants to check how you live your life here on the island.

“Uhm, hey, do you know who that woman is?” Killer asked the owner of the stall he was at.

The owner glanced in the direction he was pointing, “Oh, that was Marie. She’s pretty, right? Such a sweet girl. Poor thing was abandoned by the man who got her pregnant. Tsk, that scumbag…”

Killer looked curiously at the old man. “Abandoned?”

“Well, it wasn’t confirmed, but others said that. She’s a very nice kid but don’t talk much about her life before she ended up here. She lives in the mountains by herself. Occasionally, some of us visit her to buy some of her vegetables. She usually goes down here to sell them, but since her belly is growing fast, we told her to stop going up and down the mountains, or it’ll strain her and her baby. Would you like to buy some of these?” As thanks to the information he heard, Killer bought some of the stuff the old man was selling. 

You started walking away, so he followed behind. You notice a presence following you, but no one is there whenever you turn around to check.

IV.

You felt chills but ignored the foreboding feeling. It could’ve been some pregnancy blues. But your anxiety about being discovered by the Kid Pirates was still there. Still, it has already been half a year, and they might’ve been too busy now to even think of you. You could still get some updates about them from time to time. The last thing you read about your former crew was their time in Sabaody two months after you left.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t hurt by the thought that they could move on quickly after your disappearance. Whether Emma told them about your pregnancy or not, it might’ve been unimportant, just as you thought. It only confirms your belief that you and the baby burden the crew. 

However, sometimes you can’t help but think about Killer. What was his reaction after knowing about the baby?

Was he mad? Was he happy?

Did he try to find you?

Did he even know you are pregnant?

Tears would always well up in your eyes whenever you thought of him. You still love him after a long time, but you assumed that what you did was right. Tying Killer in an obligation he didn’t plan to have was the last thing you wanted for him.

Seeing your small abode gave you relief. Ascending and descending the mountains was quite strenuous; even the folks worried about you. But being alone up here can be lonely, and there is a need for someone to talk to. 

Entering your small hut, you went straight to bed to rest. Your belly is protruding, making you consider whether you’re in your 6th month of pregnancy or not. Its size is kind of exaggerated. You can’t do much about it, though, since there’s no doctor available on this island. The things you do to take care of yourself and the baby inside you came from the tips and tricks shared with you by the old folks and fellow mothers living there.

There’s a sudden kick from your belly, a hyper one. It feels like the baby is getting excited for some reason. “Hey bud, what got you so active today, huh? You never kicked me like that before,” you said while caressing your bump. The baby answered with another strong kick, and it made you laugh.

You kept talking to your bump when a knock came on your door. It wasn’t loud, but it was strong. You’re not expecting any visitors from the folks, so you’re curious about who it could be. You slowly got up and went to open it.

“So you just open the door like that without even asking who it is.” says the man standing before you.

You turned pale and were speechless. Heart beating faster than ever you swear he can also hear it. Your grip on the door tightens, making your knuckles turn white.

“How can you be so careless, Y/N.” the man added, staring intently into your eyes.

You can’t find your words; even if you did, you know you’ll choke on them. He caught you by surprise, and you feel cornered. It was Killer. How he’s able to find you, you have no freaking idea. This island is isolated, and it’s rare for pirates, even the marines, to stop by, making it the perfect place to live your life in seclusion.

Trying to maintain your facade, you said, “I-I’m sorry, sir, but you might be mistaken. M-my na-name is Marie and not Y/N. I-is th-there anything I c-can help you?” mentally smacking your head for stuttering.

“Really? We’re going to continue playing this game, Y/N? ‘Cause I’m getting fuckin’ tired of this shit.” his words were like venom. It stings.

Killer slowly entered the hut. He was more buffer than before. If he pounces at you, you’ll be crushed for sure. Then you notice the thing that he’s holding: knives. 

Is he going to kill you?!

Are you and the baby that bothersome that he needed to dispose of you?

You can feel the anxiety building up, and you start to have a panic attack. Breathing became hard, and you felt a sharp pain in your stomach like it was twisting.

Killer noticed how you clenched tightly at your belly, and your face painted an expression of pain. He quickly grabbed you by the arms in worry, but you shuddered at the contact, resulting in you pushing him away by force.

He was stunned. The face you’re making now, never in his dreams did he think he’d see you make that expression towards him. You were utterly terrified.

“Please don’t touch me. Spare me and my child’s life, please. Have mercy.” you kneeled in front of him, eyes closed, crying, clasping your hands like in prayer, begging for him not to kill you and the baby in your tummy. 

Killer can’t believe what he’s seeing. Why did it end up like this? You were both happy and loving one day, but now you see him as a monster trying to kill you.

It breaks his heart to see you in this state. He doesn’t know what he did for you to be this terrified, but if you only knew how hard he tried to look for you. How happy he was to know you’re carrying his child. It may not be at the right time, but to hell with that. 

You were cowering in fear when you heard a metal clasp unfastening and then a loud thud of something hitting the floor. You cautiously opened your eyes to see what it was and saw Killer’s mask. On the floor.

“Hi, baby.” you heard him say. His tone was soft and sweet, like how he lulls you to sleep every night back in Victoria. You feel his hands slowly cupping your face, guiding you to look at him. “Look at me. Please.”

There was a moment of hesitation before you gathered the courage to meet his gaze. For so long, you had hoped to see those beautiful blue eyes again, even for one last time, and now it was staring back at you.

He was looking at you tenderly while he wiped your tears. Not even a minute passed when you saw his tears flowing freely down his face, too. His lips are quivering like he was trying his best not to be so vulnerable in front of you. But he can’t stop. He waited for this moment to see you and finally hold you. 

He pressed his forehead onto yours, and you stayed in that position for a while. No words. Just feeling the presence of each other. It was comforting. It was familiar.

Living alone wasn’t bad, but it sure as hell was lonely, and you bear with it. But now that Killer is here, even with anxiety and fear, the same feeling he gives you is there. You feel safe. You feel at home.

Your tensed body became more and more relaxed, and you were able to regain even breaths, the panic attack subsiding. It may be the longing that pushed you, but you thoughtlessly kissed him. He jolted in surprise but answered back with the same level of intensity. You lap on each other hungrily while gripping one another tightly as if one of you will suddenly vanish into thin air. It only stopped when you both needed to gasp for air.

“I fucking missed you,” Killer said in between breaths. “Please don’t do that again. You’re killing me.” pain apparent in his voice, and you could only nod in agreement.

“Let’s go home… back to Victoria. Yeah?” he asked, tucking away a strand of your hair behind your ears. You're too emotional to say anything so you nodded profusely.

Killer helped you stand up when you felt the same twisting pain again in your belly. You clenched on your stomach, breathing heavily. You felt something flowing down your legs. When you looked at it, you started to panic again. It was blood.

Blood was streaming down your legs, and you never felt so scared in your life. You were even more afraid now than when you saw Killer a while ago.

“Killer… Oh fuck… Oh fuck… The baby. Our baby. Oh my god…” you were frantic, and then you suddenly fainted. 

Killer was quick to catch you, but he was horrified. He never ran as fast as he did today. He was scared shitless. He sprints back to Victoria with you in his arms, and the first thing he does once aboard is yell out Emma’s name, which startles the crew.

Emma came rushing and saw Killer carrying a woman in a bloodied state. She was confused until Killer said, “It’s Y/N. Sh-she’s bleeding. A lot.” 

“Fuck. To the clinic, quickly.” although shocked, she understood the assignment. 

Upon hearing your name, everyone stopped what they were doing and followed Killer and Emma. The others went to get their captain. The Victoria Punk was in total chaos again that night.

V.

Rugged, heavy footsteps are heard closing in by the clinic area. After hearing what had happened, Kid rushed towards the infirmary. There, he saw a disoriented Killer pacing back and forth in front of the clinic.

“Killer,” he called out to his first mate, but Killer was too occupied to notice his arrival. Kid grabbed him by his right shoulder to let him know he was there. 

When Killer realized it was Kid, he felt a little at ease. “Your mask.” Kid added, giving Killer a knowing look. He had never seen his best friend this lost, even forgetting to wear his precious mask, but he understood how severe the matter was.

“I finally found her, Kid.” Killer said in an anguished voice. He was looking at Kid, but his bangs covered his eyes. “We made up, and she agreed to return. Then she…she was…” his voice started to crack, “she was suddenly bleeding. She fainted, an-and s-she was so pale…”

Kid tightens his grip on Killer’s shoulder, reassuring him. “Oi, Y/N’s going to be fine. Don’t fucking underestimate her. She’s one of us, and there’s no way in hell she won’t pull through this.”

Rubbing a hand down his face, Killer agreed, “Yeah, she is… Of course, she is.”

Kid patted his shoulder, “Get it together, buddy. Take a rest. I’ll wait here.”. He was reluctant, but Kid insisted he take a breather. Being anxious won’t do him any good. He needs to trust that you and the baby are in capable hands. 

But he just can’t leave. You have already suffered enough. The least he could do is stay outside and wait until Emma gives any news about your situation. He also wants to be the first person you’ll see once you wake up. 

“I’m fine. I’ll wait for her here.” Killer declared, walking over to sit on the side of the door. 

Kid didn’t push for it anymore. He knows how stubborn Killer can be if he wants it, so they both wait outside the clinic for the next hour or two when they finally hear the click of the clinic’s door opening. Emma emerges from inside, startled to see the two men towering over her.

“How is she?” they said in unison.

“Ghaaad… Don’t pop out of nowhere like that. You just gave me a mini heart attack.” she remarked, her right hand on her chest.

But Killer doesn’t have time for a chit-chat. He’s been so anxious all this time, “Emma…” he grumbled, which the doctor understood as ‘I don’t give a fuck. Give me an update.’ kind of tone.

“Okay… Okay… First of all, Y/N’s stable, and the reaper won’t be visiting anytime soon.” Hearing it lifts a heavy weight on Killer and Kid’s shoulders. They didn’t even realize they’d been holding their breaths until now. 

“You should see her, although she’s still sleeping.” the doctor mused at Killer. “She’s been calling out your name the whole time.” Killer felt a knot in his chest. You’re probably still scared with all that happened.

“By the way, Cap’n, I need all the help we can get for another matter.“ Emma added, turning over to Kid.

“What is it?”

“You see, Y/N lost a lot of blood because of the bleeding, and it was only fortunate of me to be able to stop it. Thank the heavens. But the damage had been done, and if we don’t find a blood donor for her and do a blood transfusion soon, she might suffer from anemia, which can cause her complications when she finally gives birth. Of course, we don’t want that.” Emma explained. 

Killer tensed at the information. He doesn’t want you to suffer anymore during your pregnancy, and if he could only swap places with you, he would.

He started to turn and walk away, probably to get help, but Kid stopped him. “Didn’t you hear what Emma said? Go to Y/N. I’ll handle the rest.” Kid patted him on his shoulder, then left.

Emma guided Killer to where you were, and there, he saw you peacefully sleeping, with an oxygen mask and other apparatus sticking to your body to help monitor your condition. The doctor then asked to take her leave to help your captain gather the possible blood donors and check their compatibility with you. 

Killer watches over you the entire day and never leaves your side. Some of your crewmates would pass by to ask about your condition and check on their vice-captain. Kid went back to check on both of you as well and to give Killer the new mask he created, but Killer, for the first time, didn’t want to wear it. He said he’d like to make sure you’ll see his face first rather than his mask.

Although a man who doesn’t know emotions, Kid respects his best friend's sentiment and gives him the time he needs to be with you. He strictly told everyone not to bother the first mate and to go directly to him, wire or heat for anything.

The next couple of days that followed were uneventful; the blood transfusion was a success, and who would’ve thought that the best possible match to donate blood to you was your captain, Kid. It's a good thing Kid wasn’t drinking at that time, so he was able to transfer his blood to you readily. You stayed in the infirmary for a whole week until Emma deemed you were well enough to walk around and move again.

Despite that, Killer was stern to keep you in bed. He insists you get more bed rest, or you might bleed again. The poor guy was quite traumatized, but you couldn’t say no, considering that you saw the state he was in when you finally woke up. 

He was sleeping, his head rested on the side of your bed, his hands were on your stomach, and the other was holding yours. You can still remember how tight his grip on your hands was like he was making sure you’ll still be there once he opened his eyes. You caressed his blonde hair with your free hand, and he jerked his head up instantly. You saw how tired he looked, exhaustion obvious in his beautiful face. You were even surprised he wasn’t wearing his mask.

Looking at him tenderly, caressing his face gently, you said his name, and all he could do was kiss your hands and gave you a series of I love you, and I’m sorry.

Emma, fill you in on what happened after you lost consciousness. “I wanna slap you so hard your head would go 360 on me, but then again…” she trailed off a bit before continuing. Guilt showing on her face. If she could’ve just supported you properly and earnestly, you probably wouldn’t have thought of leaving in the first place. “I’m glad you’re alive and now safe. I literally thought of poisoning myself to death if I failed to save you and the baby on time.” she chuckled, teary-eyed.

“Hey, don’t say that! You saved us, see? I’m breathing, and my baby’s well. You’ve already done so much for us, Emma. To be honest, if I only heeded your advice back then…” Emma stopped you, covering your mouth with her hand.

“Let’s not talk about that anymore. All’s well that ends well. Yes?” and you agreed. There’s no point in talking about the past. 

You cleared the misunderstanding between you and Killer. You’re back with your pirate family and the man you love, and everything is returning to normal. 

That is, after a long, heart-to-heart-ish conversation with your captain, though. You found it more challenging to talk to Kid than when you talked it out with Killer. He’s your captain, after all, and what you did was a disrespect to the man you swore your loyalty with. 

*Flashback*

You’re resting in your and Killer’s bedroom when you hear a knock on the door, and it opens. Thinking it was Killer, you slowly turned around to greet him, but the one staring back at you wasn’t Killer, but Eustass Kid, and you weren’t ready to have a conversation with him yet.

“Captain…” you mumbled softly.

His face was as grumpy as usual, “Don’t call me captain if you’re not going to stick around with me.”  he said flatly.

You can only bow your head in embarrassment and guilt. No form of apology you can give can amend the trust you broke when you left the crew behind. Kid might be furious but was only trying his best to contain it for Killer’s sake. You felt your eyes getting wet with the tears trying to fall.

“I-I’m so sorry, captain… It was never my intention to disrespect you and to hurt Killer. I-I only did it for the cre-...” You couldn’t finish your words because of what he did next.

Kid sat beside you, facing your direction, and forcedly hugged you. You winced in surprise but then relaxed after a few seconds. “Stupid,” he muttered. “I never asked for you to do everything or anything on your own. Don’t I always tell you to look after yourself more?”

His hug was tight but comforting. His arms were so strong that he could crush you instantly, but he was gentle to you instead. There was no hostility in that hug. Just a pure, genuine, loving hug. Like what a brother would give to his little sister.

Now the tears have finally escaped your eyes, and you could only hug him back while wailing out your apologies, to which Kid only listens. He was never good at emotions and words, so this is how he thought he could express his worries for you. Hoping you get the message and you did.

After a good 10 minutes, he broke the hug and stared at you. “Listen, Y/N. I fucking hate this moment with all this drama and shit, it’s awkward. But I’m fuckin’ doing it for you. Do you understand what I’m getting at?” you gave him a hearty laugh. 

Of course you do. The gesture was enough to make you feel that whatever you do, he’s your captain but is also your friend. The bond you shared with him and your pledge when you first joined his crew won’t change and falter. In fact, it might’ve been more substantial than before. His donating his blood to you says a lot about it. It was as if the transfusion was a blood pact sealing the bond between you.

Kid never hid the fact that he was still disappointed in you, though, and that you should make it up to him. You gladly agreed and promised to make him as many cabbage rolls as you can. 

*End*

The awkward, teary conversation ends there because prolonging the drama would surely make Kid sick. His letting you see his soft side was already a big deal on his part, and you sincerely appreciate the gesture.

The Victoria Punk was already sailing when you woke up, and here you are, walking around the deck to get some fresh air. Finally, you’re at peace. Everything has come to the right place after six months of hiding and guilt-tripping. You’ve found yourself back in the arms of the man you love so much, and your baby is safe and sound. What more can you ask for?

Strong, familiar arms wrap around you from behind. Their hands stop at your belly. “What causes you to think so deeply? Hmm?” Killer said while planting a kiss on the top of your head.

“Everything that had happened, I guess. Still can’t believe it was all because of my selfishness and failure to communicate properly with you.” you answered in all honesty.

Killer tensed and slowly turned you around to face him. “Hey, aren’t we done with that?” he asked, cupping your face.

You nod, “Yes, we are. It's just… it would still come to mind occasionally. But I’m fine.” you smile at him while holding his hands.

“Emma said you should stop thinking about stressful things. You shouldn’t even think of it at all.” you didn’t answer and just stared at him lovingly. He’s not perfect, and he has killed a lot of people. The same goes for you. You’re not sure if both of you will be good parents, but as long as the child gets his father’s traits, they will definitely grow as a good person.

You hugged Killer tightly, to his surprise. “I love you, Kil. I really do.”

“Where is this coming from? I love you more, of course.” he hugs you back, though not tightly, so as not to put pressure on your tummy when there’s a sudden kick from your belly. 

Both of you glance at each other before bursting into laughter. But Killer suddenly halted and cleared his throat. “Why’d you stop? You know how much we love hearing your laugh.” then there’s another visible kick from your tummy as if the baby agrees with you. “See? Our baby likes it, too. We love how you laugh, so no need to be ashamed of it.”

Killer only scratches his head, but you know he’s blushing inside that mask. He kneels in front of you to level himself with your belly. “Hey, bud. We love you, too. Please don’t make it too hard for momma. We don’t want to trouble her, right?” The baby kicked again like he was conversing with his father.

“I’m starting to get jealous. They’re more active when it’s you.” you pouted, which Killer only chuckled in return.

“Don’t worry, baby.” he said, standing up, “It only means they’re just like you since you love my attention, too.” he added, which made you blush.

“Stupid.” you retorted—face burning red.

“Hey, fuckin’ lovebirds! C’mere!” Kid shouted from a distance, and you know exactly what it is for.

“He’s still at it?” you ask Killer in disbelief.

“Well, he’s too excited, I guess.” he shrugged.

You made your way to Kid’s workshop to be presented with his current masterpiece. “Think it’s good. This one’s better, aye?” Kid asked.

You face-palmed after seeing the finished ‘project,’ as Kid calls it. “What version is this already?” you asked back.

Kid thought for a minute before answering, “version 9.” he said blatantly.

“Are you trying to open up a baby store?! Because at this rate, I think you do.” Killer grab your shoulders to calm you down.

“Don’t care. The others aren’t perfect.”

Kid’s so-called ‘project’ is creating a baby crib suitable for your child, and he was so passionate about it that he kept making an upgraded version. The one he’s presenting right now is the 9th crib he made this week.

“You do realize that you’re more excited than us parents, right?” you teased Kid—an amused grin forming on your lips.

Kid went silent at the accusation and slowly blushed in embarrassment. “I AM NOT!” he shouted.

You laughed so hard at his reaction and continued teasing, “Uh-huh. If you say so, Uncle Kid.” you said, emphasizing the last part. You grab Killer out of the workshop before you hear Kid yelling profanities at you.

“I think he likes his new title.” you told Killer while you both walked back to your shared room.

“He sure does.” Killer retorted, chuckling.

[fayendere]

another thing i wanted to bring up was the audio drama things the vas did when the obey me’s first album (like the character songs and all that) tell me why. tell me why lucifer was literally trolling satan in the one where he flips the book pages LIKE IT W

IT WAS SO FUNNY UNIRONICALLY IM SICK and i remember watching this rlly talented artist on yt turn it into an animatic i’ll link it bc omfg it’s so good. video -> https://youtu.be/8sF6AKWUtcI?si=1VkI29ZPpGPT6b8c

he was genuinely just trolling the entire time and it was so so funny 😭😭 like that entire audio drama was just him absolutely just being a total smartass and taking the piss out of poor satan who at the time hadn’t done anything and it was just so fucking funny like lucifer was being so unnecessary and that was so out of character for him but it also felt so REAL IMKAUHGINGG LIKE i imagine sometimes when he just feels petty he’ll do stuff like that 😭😭😭oh my god

cause he can be annoying sometimes and whenever he is annoying he knows he’s being annoying and bc he’s arrogant and prideful he just doesn’t care and part of me loves that for him he’s so funny oh my god

and then here i come also having to bring up how despite how prideful and arrogant he can be he would put aside his pride in a heartbeat to protect mc and his brothers which imo just makes these petty moments even better bc it’s just so obvious he’s joking around and it makes me happy to see that sometimes he can let loose and be a snarky bastard instead of being completely swamped and stressed by work + looking after his brothers

[elliesmainhoe]

Flour and Jam

Streamer!Ellie X Fem!Reader

Summary: Yours and ellies attempt at a cooking stream

Contents: fluff, fluff and more fluff, food fight, general chaos.

My Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (you're here)

"Welcome to my kitchen" Ellie said, looking into the camera that was situated on a tripod resting upon the islands wooden countertops.

User1: New room unlocked 🔓

User2: omg are we cooking?

"Yes we are cooking, thought I'd do something special for you guys to celebrate hitting 500k on YouTube- which is honestly insane."

User3: Been here since 5k on YT 💪

"And due to this being a very special stream I have a very very special person to keep me company!" Hearing your cue, you stepped Infront of the camera "And because I can't trust Ellie to not burn down my house." You add on, smiling mischievously at her annoyed expression.

User4: my favourite person ever 😭

User5: One chance Y/N, plssss

User6: Ima steal Ellie's girl, just you wait and see

User7: omg look at how cute they look together 🥲

User8: The Y/N and Ellie tiktok editors are already screen recording this for later lmao

"Shut-" before Ellie could finish her sentence you pecked her lips- catching her off guard and laughing as you saw the chat go at the speed of light.

User9: Stop I'm so lonely 😭

"Your so lonely? L"

"Ellie! Don't be mean?" You scold her, shoving her shoulder playfully.

"Why?"

"Because I said so, be nice"

"Yes ma'am" Ellie replies, her right hand lifting into a mock salute as she laughs.

"We are going to make a cake. What kind of cake you may be asking?" She spoke, replying to an invisible comment.

"No one asked that baby" you laughed,, reaching up and messing with her hair. Her mouth went to retort but before any words could fall out you cut in front of her "yes I know I'll 'shut up'."

"Were making a 'victoria sponge' cake, because Y/N knows how to make it and there is a higher possiblity it will turn out least half decently" she grins, looking down at the ingredients you'd laid out on the counter. Eggs, flour, sugar, butter, vanilla, cream, jam (jelly if your American), icing sugar and strawberries.

"It'll be great, we'll do so well. I 100% believe we will make an edible Cake" you affirm, lying but trying to be positive.

User10: Uhuh very convincing 💀

User11: manifest it besties

•••••••••

"How the fuck have we managed this?" Ellie laughed out looking down at the mess you two had managed to create.

"I honestly have no idea" you reply looking at the copious amounts of flour and various sticky substances that coated the counters. "It could honestly be a modern art piece" you hummed

User12: Girlie said modern art

User13: #1 modern art hater for life

Ellie began spewing jokes, continuing to crack eggs and whisk, even though you'd told her to stop adding anything ten minutes earlier.

"You really have no regard for my advice, huh?"

"Nope." She said back to you, the familiar annoying grin plastered on her freckled face when she heard your disappointed sigh.

User14: she looks so done lmao 😭

You move out of view of the audience, silently searching for some emotional support for the foreseeable future. You entered the living room and the familiar ball of ginger fluff you were searching for was curled up in the cat tree you and ellie had bought him for his first birthday. After a few seconds of internal conflict on whether to leave him be or disturb him you decided on the latter.

Picking up the grumpy cat, who made his displeasure known by letting out a tired yowl as you cradled him, before coming back into the kitchen. "I needed some emotional support."

User15: Garfff 😭🐱

User16: pussy lol

User17: Everyone needs emotional support due to this chaotic asf stream lmao💀

You stood back, cradling Garfield in your arms, letting Ellie have free rein, giving a few tips and advice that were swiftly dismissed by Ellie as she continued to do her own thing, including putting salt into the batter instead of sugar, even though you had literally put out all the ingredients for her beforehand which did not include salt.

"Taste test?" Ellie asks, turning around to face you, a wooden spoon in hand a scoop of beige mixture on top of it. "Absolutely not".

User18: DO ITTT

User19: do it! do it! do it!

'User30 donated $50: 'Do it Y/N, also congrats on 500k on YT Ellie <33'

"You hear the people. Taste." Ellie laughs thrusting the wooden spoon towards your mouth.

"It's confirmed, you all hate me and I will never forgive any of you for this" you scowl, opening your mouth hesitantly, allowing Ellie to place the spoonful into your mouths. The overwhelming taste saltiness hits your tongue immediately, making you gag at the unpleasantness.

You immediately rush over to the sink, spiting out the mixture, grabbing a glass of water and washing out your mouth, trying to rid it of the after taste that lingered behind. You hear Ellie's laugh from behind you, the only thing going through your mind was revenge.

Flour. Perfect. You reach into the half full paper bag pulling out a handful. Ellie was otherwise occupied, talking to her chat and answering donations, so when a handful of flour exploded in her face, it's an understatement to say it caught her of guard.

After recovering from a coughing fit triggered by the powder, she reached into an open jar, said jar having fresh strawberry jam inside of it. You saw this and of course, you began to run away, trying to get away from Ellie and the weapon that was her handful of red jelly. Eventually she caught up to you, her empty hand wrapped around your waist pulling you into her body as she smeared the sticky substance across your cheeks laughing at the ridiculous expression on your face.

Because your body was pushed against hers, the flour that coated her body transferred onto you.

"OH FUCK!" You yelled "my new sweater..."

"oh look, Y/N's discovered that her actions have consequences." She grinned cheekily, leaning down to kiss you, the jam from your face smudging onto hers.

----------

Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @strawberrysmoochesxo @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @moonlighting87 @escaping-reality8 @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @ellieluhme @kiiyoooo

NOT PROOFREAD

[weebsinstash]

Damn, imagine if all this YT drama was happening when Spot's situation was currently going on too. And, well, since our dimension is fucked and we just seem to jump through dimensions without the watch, what if we end up in Spot's place? (The blank void when he entered one of his own spots).

And, it would be funny to look at him, and for him to look at us and just... stare or wave. He is weird like that, and we are too.

Also, we can start bonding on feeling out of place? Sharing the same experience of everyone leaving us behind/ignoring us. Maybe we can even seek solace in his presence, and in his unique persona (even if he is supposed to be a villain).

And the fact that this is the only place we don't glitch out of? Maybe some bullshit physics as this place literally makes no sense, as well as us. It's like we belong here, with him. He could always teleport us somewhere else, but we look so tired, so pitiful and in so much need of some sort of care... he feels bad for us. And maybe, he can try and convince us to stay with him. After all, he *is* the only one who hasn't turned his back on us, right? He isn't a bad guy like those 'friends' of us were saying!

Meanwhile everything is going to shit in the society's HQ :)

I've actually had a few ideas involving The Spot where he's either the yandere or antagonist or a central character in some way and it's really just a matter of me getting around to. Writing the dozens of things I want to write lmao

But bro your mind 😩 you've just been exiled during the YouTwo incident amd you're glitching and, you know, slowly deteoriating over time, and, suddenly, you're in this weird literally nondescript place where you're suddenly... 'balanced out'? You don't feel like you're being pulled in a bunch of different directions anymore, and you look around and it's just some white void with black dots everywhere that you think you can kind of see and hear things out of if you get close enough, but, first and foremost, is that a person? Spot just like. Is staring at you with this very deer in headlights energy and, you both awkwardly wave to each other, "uhhhhhhh... hi?" "...hiiiii, uh, is this 'your place'? Thank you so much, dude, I've been zipping all over the place, i thought i was gonna die, you saved my life" and maybe you even hug him and he's not sure how to process this because you're clearly a variant of Spiderman but you hold no animosity or hostility towards him whatsoever and 👉👈 this is the most positive human interaction he's had in ages.

Not even his powers, but his knowledge alone would be extremely useful in this scenario because like, he could literally just warp around stealing whatever parts he needed to build something that would "hold you together", given his involvement with Alchemax and the colliders specifically

You're just so understandably and genuinely grateful and Spot feels GOOD about being needed, about being someone's savior. He really had been one of the only ones who could help you and he gets a little drunk off that fact. Whether your glitching is a mutation and is your own power or you're simply some weird anomaly, you two form a kinship, and if it IS some sort of weird ability, maybe he even decides to mentor you a little! Gives him something to do, and it totally isn't to help distract him from how lonely and depressed and miserable he is!

But similar to how the other villains discounted him, you kind of discount him yourself in the sense that you don't see him as a threat. Which, he doesn't necessarily want you to, and it's not some sort of disrespect thing, but, the linger he spends with you, the more he wants you to see him as a man, a man with needs, emotionally, psychologically, physically. Whyd you have to give him all those hugs when he hasnt had human touch in forever, huh?! Don't you know how lonely and touch starved he is?! And you just think you can--can walk away from him? Disrespect him after everything he's done for you, disrespect him like everyone else?

You can always try and 'outrun him' with your little glitching, but, even if you manage to lose him, he'll pick up your tracks again, and one day you wake up from finally crashing from exhaustion to find a pitch black figure at the foot of the bed, slowly pulling in everything around it like some sort of eldritch black hole. And Jonathan menacingly waves to you, "I don't think I'll have trouble keeping up with you this time. I made sure of it"