#after season 1 nobody was writing about the brothers
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The Front Man's Worldview
I posted this Front Man analysis on Reddit the other day and it didn't get much traction, so I thought I'd post it here too!
Squid Game Season 2 spoilers below the cut.
(And yes, proper capitalization, because this shit's serious!)
While watching season 2, I had the basis for the rivalry between Gi-hun and the Front Man simplified into the following: the Front Man believes in peoples' inherent flaws, whereas Gi-hun believes in peoples' inherent capacity for good. But there's a lot more to it than that!
This article recently got me thinking about how interesting In-ho's worldview is: https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/squid-game-season-2-lee-jung-jae-lee-byung-hun-spoiler-breakdown-1236258362/.
"In-ho is a character that no longer has belief or hope in the outside world. So it’s almost like he has nowhere to go, because that is not really a world that he feels like he’s a part of anymore."
The Front Man has no hope in the world and feels almost completely disconnected from it. So he clings to the games because the world outside is dire and beyond saving, and the world of the games just makes more sense to him than the world outside. This explains his spiel about fairness and equality in season 1. Under this perspective, it’s true everyone who plays the games is given one last chance to "fight fair and win." Because there is zero hope for them in the outside world, whereas the world of the games is a world of opportunity.
Granted, the rules of the game are not entirely fair OR just, but it's a system that makes more sense than the world outside of it. Knowing the Front Man's backstory as In-ho, you might say the real world disappointed him so much he had to become the leader of his own world.
"In the process of these really grueling and violent games, his feelings faded. Feelings of hope and joy are long gone in the In-ho you meet in Season 2."
Similar to Gi-hun (and they do seem to be foils of one another), the trauma of playing through the games and winning contributed to his shattered worldview. Notably, though not discussed in the article, they both also lost someone close to them despite winning the games (for Gi-hun, his mother; for In-ho, his wife and unborn child).
In-ho is so cold-hearted and impassive as we know him in the present day...he has no joy, no hope. He is what Gi-hun has the potential to become. Throughout season 2, when he’s not putting on that act as Young-il, he's often staring into space with a sort of deadness in his eyes. There’s zero warmth there, and the betrayal in the end serves to remind the audience of that. And yet!
"You do find him almost momentarily enjoying the situation. And I think this is just a very small glimpse of his past self.”
...there are moments where he DOES seem to be genuinely enjoying himself, like during the relay race. And as the article explains it, these moments are like little, miniscule glimpses of his past self. So when he's having a laugh throwing that spinning top incorrectly (three whole times with his non-dominant hand, just for fun), is that something the In-ho of the past would’ve enjoyed? Playing a little joke without the others knowing? How much of that tiny light in his eye is just a remnant of something that has long since faded?
The fact Lee Byung-hun paid such deliberate attention to the details of his character really makes season 2 all the more interesting to watch! Every scene with him in it is captivating because you’re almost forced to scrutinize every aspect of his behavior in order to figure out who he is at that moment: is he the cold and cunning Front Man, the supposedly innocent Young-il, or his true self Hwang In-ho? And that's what makes him my favorite character!
#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#the front man#hwang in ho#lee byung hun#I once wrote a fic about this man#after season 1 nobody was writing about the brothers#well okay they WERE but#it was NOT wholesome if you catch my drift#anyway might pick up the pen again#metaphorically speaking#most fic writers don't use pens
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Actually I'm so incredibly lucky to have The Silt Verses because it gives me the kind of character dynamics I desperately love and so very rarely find.
I am an ABSOLUTE sucker for characters who go "I will move heaven and earth for you. I will be driven to both great and terrible decisions for your sake because of how I am defined by you" but I do... NOT... care about romance. I Don't Care About Romance. I don't want it. I don't relate. My immersion hits a cliff there. I'm an aromantic Character Enjoyer and I do not care about shipping at all.
So as you can imagine, it's a challenge to find "I will do everything for you" character dynamics which, if not canonically romantic, end up being ships that get treated like canon if you try to talk about the characters in fandom spaces.
I am incredibly drawn to sibling media and I think it's largely because that's the primary way I've found these dynamics and they don't get treated as "come on it's basically a canon romance" by the main chunk of the fandom. I'm an FMA enjoyer, a Gravity Falls enjoyer, an Over The Garden Wall enjoyer--fuck I'm a Supernatural enjoyer, for this reason. Do you know what that's like? When Supernatural gets you because you're so hungry?
And then... The Silt Verses... Filled, FILLED, with these "I will move heaven and earth for you" kinds of dynamics--healthy, unhealthy, as sources of hope and sources of absolute destruction. Of course I'm here for it. Of course I'm clocked in.
But it SHOULD be hopeless for me. I mean the only actual sibling dynamics are just within backstories--Carpenter and her brother Em. Faulkner and his brother Charlie. Hayward has no siblings. Paige's aren't relevant. Faulkner and Carpenter have exactly this intense dynamic I love--same with Paige and Hayward--and then Hayward and Carpenter--and I should be taking the L because this always ends in ships.
But Jon Ware and Muna Hussen--who I owe my life to--very intentionally did not do that. Carpenter is aromantic. She gets to be that canonically. There's never a hint of romantic tension between her and Faulkner. When they call each other brother and sister, it's religious formality first, and then it's an actual found-sibling kind of bond.
Hayward and Paige, in like any other media, would have been a couple. The way they save each other, and lean on each other, and leave their old selves behind to become someone new together. It's obvious. I've seen it a million times. But when Jon Ware got asked in a Q&A about what Paige and Hayward -are- to each other ... look I just need to go with direct quotes to do the answer justice
I think maybe there’s also an implicit question there about whether there’s something romantic going on – maybe I’m reading into it, but that is something that’s on my mind a lot, so I’d love to talk about it more. ... I personally, I don’t like writing fictional characters where the most important moment in their narrative arcs is when they get together with the person they were always meant to get together with. ... And again, I think [give the people what they want] can send you in the wrong direction, one that ends up being essentially flattening – we don’t think, "if these characters hook up, OK, what new opportunities does that give us to explore them, to understand them in greater depth?" ... And after we released maybe one episode of The Silt Verses, I saw a couple of folks online going ‘oh, god, I hope this isn’t going to end with Carpenter and Faulkner hooking up,’. And you go, "oh my god, I hadn’t considered that as a possibility for a second, that’s not who they are and that’s not what the relationship is here" - but of course all of us are primed for it, that enemies-to-lovers thread that is so common. ... Because it was freeing because after Season 1, nobody is expecting or hoping that Hayward gets together with anybody. No-one wants that particularly!
And Shrue and Val come along... each of whom has intense interactions and kinds of relationships with the people they encounter but, still, no romance. And nothing among the high katabasians or the adjudicators. If there WAS any kind of romantic read with Rane toward Faulkner, it does nothing to overshadow what was happening there. I liked someone's likening it to Lady Macbeth and Macbeth. The Thing going on between them can't really be reduced to shipping.
We DO even get the family-related bonds and trauma I usually lean on. Paige with her dad. Faulkner with his dad. Carpenter dealing with the trauma of her Nana and brother. Shrue left in harrowing limbo about the safety of their (maybe non-existent) children and husband.
Anyway I didn't even mean this to be so long. I'm just so blessed and lucky to have character dynamics where they're screaming and sobbing each other's names and no one is pulling the "There's no platonic explanation for this" card. I'm so glad.
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My *made up* season 3 episode list and what each episode would be about and a quote from each episode
1 • Dusker Back From the Dead
(The title is a mix of both the season 1 and season 2 first episodes) Ethan and Benny use the Cubile Animus to bring Sarah back from the dead using Vice principal Stern as their sacrifice.
“Can you two stop referencing stupid movies and figure out how to get me out of here!” -Sarah
2 • The Date to (re)Start all Dates
Ethan struggles to plan out the perfect date for him and Sarah, afraid to mess it up he tries to make contact with Jesse to give him advice, but things take a turn for the worse when he finds himself stuck in the limbo dimension.
“Doesn’t feel so great to be trapped in limbo now does it.” -Jesse
3 • Della’s Vengeance
(idea partially by @comicbookddr)
When Della finds Benny’s missing spellbook she decides to use it against him as revenge. Making Benny discover she is also a spellmaster.
“Looks like you’re not the only spellmaster at our school” -Ethan
“…well this is just great..” -Benny
4 • Out of this World (inspired by alien candy)
When a new club forms at Whitechapel High, Rory and Benny find the members suspicious and begin to investigate them, nobody believes them until Ethan has an encounter with the club’s leader and finds out that the club is made up of aliens planning on invading their school.
“Rory stop worrying, they are not going to probe you.” -Ethan
5 • Sleepover Seance
When Jane is hosting a sleepover, the girls venture into the basement after watching a scary movie, wanting to have fun of their own they bring out 'Spirit Speaker'. But it isn't a ghost this time, a sleep demon comes out to play.
"How are they all asleep already?" -Rory
6 • Down the Wishing Well
Sarah discovers the local legend that there is an enchanted wishing well in Whitechapel that grants any wish, but at a cost. When she wishes to be human again, the evil spirits of the well possess her.
“I call on the spirits of this wishing well, I wish to be human again.” -Sarah
7 • Jedi’s Anonymous
When Erica finds herself going back to her old geek self, she joins an online chat room anonymously and starts flirting with another user, she decides to meet up with him in real life and discovers she had been talking to Benny the entire time.
“I’ve been talking to you idiot the entire time?!” -Erica
8 • Living Dead Girl
Rory falls six feet deep for the new girl in town. Although the boys quickly realize something isn’t as it seems when she appears in a yearbook over decades old.
“Well if she’s looking for brains, she definitely chose the wrong one..” -Ethan
9 • The Return of Betty & Veronica
Stephanie creates a golem to go to Whitechapel for junior year seeking vengeance. Betty and Veronica are back on the scene, Rory finds out the truth about Betty.
“These underwear are riding up my butt again” -Ethan
10 • Knights of Ninjitsu
Ethan is having trouble writing a fanfiction to send into his favorite game company as part of a contest. When he runs out of ideas he asks Benny to use a spell that gives him more ideas, Benny accidentally uses the wrong spell, trapping Ethan inside of a video game/his computer.
"Benny, do NOT open zombie stomper." -Ethan
11 • Jane’s Vision
When Jane snoops through her brother’s closet she discovers Ethan’s stash of items from their past enemies. The supernatural power radiating from it all makes Jane develop visions early.
12 • The Princess Leia to my Han Solo
Erica realizes that she has feelings for Benny but on her way to tell him she realizes he’s on a date with another girl. He soon finds out his new date isn’t what she seems.. (he finds out she’s a gorgon)
“That should be my geek out there!” -Erica
13 • The Fog is Coming
Grandma Weir senses another dark force coming and warns the boys, while doing so Ethan’s parents overhear, discovering all of him and his friend’s supernatural secrets, trying to keep Ethan from getting hurt they ground him from leaving the house. Will they stop the evil force coming to Whitechapel?
****************************************************
Anyways thanks for reading I know a lot of the titles probably sucked but they were so hard to come up with ok so go cry to your mother if you don’t like them
#mbav#my babysitter's a vampire#benny weir#my babysitters a vampire#ethan morgan#rory keaner#erica jones#sarah fox#mbav stuff
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I have a question. How did your fascination with Thanos began (and why him of all characters)? And how did you come up with the cheetah Thanos au?
Anon, I'm convinced you can read my mind. For days I wanted to write the entire post behind this, thank you for giving an excuse to do so - and this will probably be a long text, here's my story with Thanos in full detail:
I watched season 2 a few days before it got popular, it was at that time people were even joking that nobody watched this season. I wasn't planning to do it so soon, but I needed a break so BAD - for context, I was still in the Mouthwashing fandom and people there were making me lose all my motivation to draw, I was feeling super bad during those days. And I chose SG to watch because 1) I really enjoyed season 1 back in 2021 and 2) my brother had watched it before me and he told me that there was a character there that I could like because he was similar enough to Daisuke (obviously Dae-ho).
I'm telling all of this to be clear that I had NO IDEA about what was gonna happen nor other people's opinion about it. All the information I knew about Thanos was a very basic introduction my brother said to me. So I wasn't excited to meet him, my brother made him sound like a boring character. Even worse, I was under the impression that the season would be bad. So, once Thanos appeared, everything was a surprise.... And I was surprised for sure.
I remember everything clearly because my brother was in the room next to mine and I kept screaming all my opinions to him. The first one, my very first impression of Thanos, was exactly: "Oh no, I can't take him seriously, his face is too goofy" just to later find out that he wasn't a very serious character anyway. He made me laugh very loudly in one of his first scenes and I was so disappointed on myself, I was supposed to dislike the season!!!
So every single thing about him shocked me, I didn't know about the drugs and I didn't know he was the antagonist. But, even still, I wasn't too impressed LMAO Thanos wasn't my favorite character by far to the point I'm still confused why he ended up having such an impact on me.
I could give more details about my thoughts about every scene of him... But it's already getting to long so I'll skip to the moment I finished watching it:
I went to look on Tumblr to see what other people thought about the season, I found basically nothing. I was heartbroken because I imagined this season wouldn't be as popular as the first and I wanted it to be because I ended up loving almost everything about it. In that moment, I wanted to find something related to Dae-ho, but I instead got some fanart of Thanos and Nam-gyu and that was the second I realized some people could ship them. It made sense, but I didn't get it at first.
That was when it happened.
I opened Tiktok and found much more stuff, mostly edits. I was having the time of my life. Again, some stuff about Thanos and Nam-gyu appeared to me. I was watching a specific one (I'm super sad I can't find it again, but it was with that "you get me and I get you" song) and that made me laugh because it was a very cute edit and a huge contrast with how much the two were big assholes. I thought "hah, I could ship these two.... As a joke"
I realized my mistake in the same second. I literally said "oh no" out loud and stared at my wall.
Starting then it was too late. I realized they were the type of character I could hyperfixate on and this couldn't leave my mind. I gave myself one day to try to ignore that. After that, I would let myself be free and accept my fate.
And well, we all know that happened after this.
(Okay, I'll go back very soon and write the second part about cheetah Thanos)
#ask tag#if you read everything you truly love me#bc there are more than 500 words here oh well#expect the second part to be just as long#long post
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A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #6
Show Polin Vs. Book Polin Part 1
I have seen a lot of fans upset over the way the showrunner/writers handled Polin's story in comparison to the book version. Of course, we're always going to compare because it's a given. However, I'm a little shocked on how so many are complaining about it when their story was never really true to the books to begin with.
The biggest differences are their ages and time frame & their relationship prior to getting together.
In the book, both Pen and Colin are like a decade older than their characters in the show & they didn't really have a friendship before getting together either. The book is very much a best friend's brother's trope.
In the show, they're teenagers and have an established friendship meaning it's a true friends to lovers trope.
Let's take a deep dive and compare their stories and why the show handled it differently.
Show Polin: Ages
So, obviously the fact that they are teenagers/early 20's in the show means that they would not have the same level headedness as an adult. Both Pen and Colin are trying to find themselves and their purpose in life.
Colin very much feels like he has to be like Anthony & Benedict in order for them to take him seriously. They have always seen him as the little brother who tries to hard and doesn't think. He feels like he has to be someone he isn't because most people don't care about him truly being himself because every time he does he is talked down to and treated like he's too young to know what he wants. No one cares about his travels and no one even bothers to respond to his letters, which then makes him wonder if he's even wanted by his family.
Pen is tired of being the laughingstock of the Ton and in her own family. The only minuscule of happiest she gets is her time with Eloise and the Bridgertons & when she is writing her column. After her sisters are married and she's faced with living with her mother as a spinster, she is determined to get out of the house and get married, even if it isn't to the one person she wants. She still has the self esteem of a young naive girl, so she must learn how to grow her confidence into the clever, beautiful woman she is.
Book Polin: Their Ages
Colin has spent the majority of his teens and twenties traveling and being away from home. He has seen the world and has lived a well experienced life. We really don't get much of how he's feeling in regards to his life or how he felt over the years.
Pen has lived with her mother this whole time and as given up on the marriage mart. She's happy with living as a spinster and has created an empire with Lady Whistledown. She is super close with her younger sister and Eloise and doesn't seem to have the same initial longing as show Pen when it comes to marriage.
Show Polin: Friends to Lovers
In seasons 1 & 2, we see Pen and Colin's friendship blossom and grow into a very close relationship. I would even say that their friendship was closer than Pen and Eloise just because they both seemed to really listen to the other and offer support. We see the way that Colin is there for Pen when Cressida teases her and with Featherington Scheme in season 2. We also know that their letters to each other are meaningful and Colin started viewing her in a different light when he came back in season 2. Being with each other means they both can talk about anything that they couldn't with others because no one else bothered to take the time to listen.
Book Polin: Best Friend's Brother
We don't really see a relationship with Pen and Colin in the books other than Pen being Eloise's friend and a close friend to the family. It's mentioned that there were times Pen and Colin danced at Balls together, but it was purely at the request of Mama Bridgerton. There were no letters exchanged between them.
**
This is going to be multiple parts because it's gonna be a long one.
Stay tuned for part 2
Falling in Love
Lady Whistledown Reveal
Wedding & Aftermath
Part 3
Cressida's Blackmail
Love Confession
Epilogue
Part 4
How all of these changes affected the way the show storyline was written versus the book version.
Also, let me know if there are any other comparisons you want that I haven't thought to include.
#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton season 3#polin#bridgerton s3#polin bridgerton#bridgerton netflix#romancing mister bridgerton#romancing mr. bridgerton#colin and penelope#penelope featherington#colin x penelope#colin bridgerton#penelope bridgerton#bridgerton books
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episode 5 spoilers
part 1 - the teens minus the tai/van scenes. its too long im not subjecting yall to my whole episode thoughts at once
Rabies plot still on. Ben asks about the goats mother being sick. We cant see the mouth of the goat. Akilah gonna die of rabies im so sorry guys start preparing emotionally. Plus the llama line
This scene was crazy to watch because I think we all predicted different parts. Tai being the one to weild the death after being the prosecutor ? Shauna giving the bonkers option so that everything else seems kinda normal in comparison? Nat trying her hardest to find a normal way through it? A moral way? Shauna cracking jokes about him dying of old age (shes right but its interesting that they don’t take that as a good option; shows just how quickly Shauna is gaining power; im shocked nat is still technically even in charge)
Also they now have their own rules like crazy. ‘We found him guilty it’s simple’ - it’s at this point that the truth doesnt matter. Only their perception of the truth. And I think thats going to very much matter as the season goes on
It is a fitting death Shauna but we do not need to be that vicious babes I do love the dramatic irony but I am with nat that is torture
Also insane that nat keeps accidentally damning coach like girl shut up
Shauna v nat is exactly what fandom has felt like for the past few weeks love u guys
Really curious what led van to so confidently blurt out the king of hearts bit. Theres something there and I wanna know what it is. What does suicide king mean does it have a meaning or did van just make that up
Tai looked stressed af at that. Tai didn’t like that
Intersting that van is handing out the cards.
Should we have a whole tarot spread and what it pairs to in a normal deck and to be comping it to what card they pulled or do you think that’s doing too much because I know if I was writing it I would have taken the time to pair that all up or at least tried but idk
Shaunas fuck ass face is saying ‘y’all wish you just handed me the gun now dont you?’
Robin is such a sweetie theres no way shes not pit girl at this point
poor tai by baby im sorry theyre putting you through this but you did literally make this happen miss ‘ill be prosecution’
Shauna hat whittle scene
Yes girl whittle away
Melissa I may have underestimated you that line was funny as fuck nobody has a better Shauna read than you
(Guys I love Jackie too but Jackie was sometimes shitty to Shauna its just the nature of homoerotic friendships in a plane crash okay)
Also someone described Melissa as the sheath to Shaunas knife and honestly thats such a good read on them im never unseeing that
Cute ass gift ngl Melissa may truly be deeply into Shauna
Also its a case of everyone knew rather than Melissa stalker I think
Lottie/akilah/travis
Ngl travis looks hot as hell this episode hes really finding his stride as Lottie backup
The wrap around Lotties neck - I know it’s for the gas but it also just kinda is soooo reminiscent of the slap bracelet. There something there
Lotties so good at convincing people of things girl certainly was getting good grades in english class on those persuasive essays
Oracle of Delphi is gonna matter any smarties on that got takes on it ?
Shes in the antler queen outfit
Gotta use some suspense of disbelief on how theyre handling gas but thats not the biggest of issues its very subtle
Big love protective older brother travis vibe - also that haircut I need it on more lesbians its so hot
Why’d they leave the rope ?
Lottie is mildly obsessed with timing. Curious if that’ll be expanded on
Lottie somehow still right. Somehow still effective. Travis stressed as hell. Poor guy.
Akilah dream - cool as hell
Ben; the bridge back to civilization ; but darkness. An unknown. A smog. Shaunas leadership time. It will be dark, it will be scary. But they will feel safe, adding onto the ‘their perception is what truly matters ; not the truth’ aspect that I think is the core of the season
No interesting to note - they have him drawn and quartered in the dream. Another form of medieval torture. Food for thought
Misty/ben/fish/ending
Okay this goes later but it’s on my brain - ben didn’t eat the fish. I think there will be consequences for that. But I dont know what . Its got me stressed
Bens like damn good food what are they gonna do execute me ? And misty all teary eyed is like “yeah….” Cute af if he wasn’t like dying
I love misty in this scene , shes really grown so much
You can tell coach is like, really frustrated that he has to comfort misty even though hes the one dying but he also just like has given up on life so he just doesnt seem to care either. Its such an interesting place for a character to be
The makeup team did so good with him
This may sound odd but this scene feels very informed by video games. Like this is the scene in any single player story game (thing TWD, TLOU, or BG3) where you say goodbye to the one helpful and soul character before everything goes to utter shit before the final act. It’s really well done I really enjoy it.
The way he looks at her crying omg then she just says bye like… poor guy
My poor baby
Shauna needs to fuck Melissa some more the girl has too much frustration and im losing patience with her by the ep no reason to be doing all that hun
Poor nat. Nat giving up her power. Giving the necklace to the next chosen. Except this turn its chosen as sacrifice (well, ish)
Ben really tries to appeal to nat. he thinks nat is the one thats going to do it. shes holding the gun. He thinks shes the one to kill him. And then hes blindfolded before he sees nat hand it over to tai. He thinks his basically adopted daughter is the one who is going to execute him. I cry.
I am misty in this scene big cry
Even with the Lottie interruption - this is the girls CHOOSING , VOLENTARILY , to go forth as part of the wilderness. To hand over their connection to civilization. handing the power from nat (a moral and reasonable leader) to Shauna (a brutal and vicious one). This is the moment they fully cross over into, basically, wild animal territory. And id expect the party in the next episode to be a reflection of the crowing of a new leader, and thats what Shauna is so hoppy about in the trailer - being handed the power of leadership.
First time seeing gen with a personality and I can say I dont really like her - shes another Shauna puppy it seems
Then tai gets handed the gun, coach blinded. Great work on part of the cast and crew scene is great but Im about to focus on my love <3
Tai bawling. Tai barely able to hold the gun. No longer steady. Now breaking down. Losing it. Id bet she can hardly even see. Growing more and more stressed by the moment
The sound work is crazy good gotta take a moment for the sound team <33
Then she shivers so hard she can barely hold the gun. And her stress has reached a high enough point. Other tai is here. Tai will be okay. Other tai will take care of her. Thank you other tai
And van notices, the shift in physicality is obvious. But theres a relaxation there. Because tai will be okay. And other tai shoots
And I swear in this moment I thought travis was dead. Then I remembered he died as an adult. And then I thought they were doing the killing them twice thing. But hes not hes fine. Other tai has killer aim, but luckily nobody got hit.
Impeccably almost late timing from Lottie though
Other tai already gone though interestingly enough
No but seriously thank you Lottie good job gal theyre gonna scream at her but she did so good saving him there. Well. She tried.
I honestly thought Shauna was gonna just end him right there. She walked onto frame and I went ‘ahh the coup its usurping time’ but no thats not what’s happening lol
Crazy parallels of her making Melissa do it. Bens screams into the otherwise quiet night. Misty losing it. I dont think the plan was exactly to cut his achilles, but since he was fighting back with it it was an easy target. I do appreciate that Shauna respects a clean knife though thanks for not crossing anybody’s blood we dont need to get blood diseases that would just make everything complicated
Welcome to the end of their morals. They died that night. Lottie, travis, nat, Mari, misty, and honestly even kinda van all lost their power that night. It’s now Shaunas wilderness. And it will be interesting to see how that goes for them leading into their rescue (which will likely be at the end of this season)
#yellowjackets season 3#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets#yellowjackets s3 spoilers#yellowjackets speculation
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A Meeting in London (Jack Draper) - Part 1
Sequel to "A Meeting in New York"
A Meeting in New York - Part 1
A Meeting in New York - Part 2
A Meeting in New York - Part 3
A/N: This is once again extremely long, and probably going to be divided into three parts or so, like the first one. Also, is it just me or does ANYBODY else also feel so awkward when they post their writing? Don't know why, but it always makes me so nervous and awkward for some reason. Anyway, I hope you like it and my writing doesn't put you off lol
Off Season.
London, November 2024.
It had been a long and grueling season. Jack was happy about the break, even though he never could stay away from tennis for long. When he was away for even a week, he'd start to miss it.
Right now though, in this very moment, he did not miss it at all. It was Hell Week - the week where he'd put his body through hell: training, training and more training, physical exhaustion and pain. It really was hell - but it was almost over. He was nearly done with it (in reality, in his mind, he was quite literally done with it, though he didn't mention that).
Apart from basically dying, he had spent the week with his big brother Ben and his best friend Paul, hunting for accessories for their new place they'd just bought and moved into. Jack had to admit, interior design wasn't easy, but he did his best trying to make this place their home. Paul did tease him about it not exactly being a 'professional job' at which Jack usually rolled his eyes good-naturedly.
It was late in the evening, and his brother Paul and Jack were chilling on the couch, watching some sport nobody really paid attention to. Jack was lost in thoughts - like he had been since early September.
Jennifer Langfort.
That name was playing on his mind like a mantra.
He couldn't stop thinking about her. About their kisses in the hotel lobby. And about how she fled the scene, never to be seen again.
Jack hadn't really known what to do. Should he have messaged her? Should he have tried to find her after he had lost his semifinals match? He didn't know. He didn't know anything.
After their kiss, he had been a complete mess - at least mentally. All he could think about was her, her, her. Once his semifinals match had approached, of course he was focused on it. But he had wondered whether she would be watching or not. If she was thinking about him the way he thought about her.
His semifinals match was interesting, to say the least. He had vomited three times, and people couldn't stop talking about it and how he had wiped it away himself and continued playing to the bitter end. It had been his firs Grand Slam semifinal, and regardless of the outcome, he was proud of himself. He had done the best he could under the circumstances - the anxiety, the humidity had gotten to him, but he had given it his all. He had wanted to go and find her after he had lost, but what could he have said? That he couldn't stop thinking about her and wanted to do more than just kiss her - he wanted to take her out, properly, talk to her, get to know her. But he didn't really have time, everything had been a complete whirlwind, especially after his loss. He had flown back to London the next day, taken a quick break and then went to play the Davis Cup round for Team GB. He didn't really have time to do anything at all, after that semifinals loss.
Jen had fared a little better than him - under big applause and cheers she had won the US Open. The big champion was back.
And Jack was incredibly happy for her. She deserved it, and more. What she'd told him about how those security guards that constantly surrounded her made her feel, made him feel for her. He wanted to be the one to protect her - and these thoughts that had been ghosting around in his mind for months now scared him. What did he know about her after all, except for the few things she'd told him and the way she made him feel when she was near (and when she wasn't near, to be fair)? It was absolutely crazy. And yet, he'd come to accept that he felt things for her - that he had genuine, deep feelings for her.
He couldn't really explain it, and he didn't want to. Jack had told the story to Ben and Paul - they told each other everything - and they had nearly fallen out of their seats. Jack told them to pick up their jaws, they were catching flies, teasing them with the way they looked at him, incredulously. He had hoped that maybe they could help him untangle the mess in his head, but that was probably a futile task.
"What the hell?" Paul exclaimed. "You guys kissed?!" Ben laughed at him, claiming he knew there was this weird sexual tension going on, which earned him a pillow landing on his face, courtesy of Jack.
Afterwards, they'd talked about what all this meant, and Jack had tried to play it cool, to downplay the amount of his feelings, but Paul and Ben had shared a knowing look. They'd both known this wasn't just a fleeting moment of attraction or a few kisses shared in the dark corner of a hotel lobby, or even him helping her out - this was much more. Maybe not love, at least not yet, but given time, it could very well be.
But then, time had passed, and absolutely nothing happened.
He had gone on to play the Davis Cup and then Japan, Jen had played the Asian WTA Swing and the WTA Finals. Jack had gone on to win Vienna - his first ATP 500 title - and then played in Paris, where his loss in the second round meant that his season had come to an end.
Jack had followed her matches, she'd played well, her comeback clearly a huge success. A WTA 1000 title in Wuhan was followed up by her win of the WTA Finals. But not once had heard a word from her.
She hadn't tried to message or reach him in any way. It was as if their kisses in New York had been a pure figment of imagination on his part, though he knew it wasn't, of course. But it seemed like it, because there was complete radio silence going on.
Jack thought that maybe she'd message him on Instagram, but she didn't even follow him (and he had checked approximately 487 times - he swore, he hadn't counted). He did follow her, the day after he played his semifinals match. But she never followed him back. He had watched her stories, her reels, liked her posts, but nothing was returned on her part.
Jen had started posting regularly again during the US Open. Her posts and captions were funny, people from the ATP and WTA were commenting on them. Her stories, too, were hilarious, especially the ones that didn't have anything to do with tennis. She posted about cooking and baking adventures, of karaoke bars and her and her friends singing 'Man! I Feel Like A Woman' by Shania Twain (which sounded a bit off key but still good somehow), and she posted of her cats and her dog and going to the movies and living her life. And the funniest thing she'd posted was about a Halloween Party Jen and her friends had attended where they'd dressed up like the Lorax. She looked so funny, and beautiful in that stupid costume, and when he saw the video of her dancing and jumping around to songs of Katy Perry and other early 2000 bangers, he had wanted nothing more than to be there with her. She looked like a joy to be around, so carefree and full of life. Nothing he saw made him want her less - if anything, whatever she posted, made him want her even more. It was insane, if he thought about it, yet here was. Hopelessly entranced by a girl that seemed to have forgotten he even existed.
Complete radio silence. He couldn't really understand it. Had the moments they'd shared meant nothing to her? Had he just imagined the way she'd gazed up at him? Had he just imagined the way her heart sped up when he drew closer to her and her breath hitched?
No, he hadn't imagined it. Paul and Ben both told him to be patient - to go talk to her when he'd see her next which would probably be in fucking December. She had been named for the United Cup to represent her country, and Jack would be there too.
Sure, he could have messaged her - but would she have answered? Would she have even seen it? Jack was pretty sure that there were so many others who slipped into her DMs, so she probably wouldn't have seen it anyway. He didn't really know how else to contact her. Maybe he could have asked someone for her number, but it wasn't a given that he would have gotten it - and he didn't want to come off as desperate.
Yes, he was desperate to a certain extent (which he'd even admitted to Paul and Ben after a few drinks too much, after which they'd teased him relentlessly, claiming they'd known all along 'their boy was in lurrveee') - but he didn't want to appear that way to her. And so he didn't really have a choice but to wait. Little did he know that his chance to talk to her again would be coming sooner rather than later.
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Jack had survived hell week and now was in normal training, a typical regimen for the preseason that would start at the end of December. He was on the way to his usual training center, the National Tennis Centre, and it was a dreary morning, typical London November weather. He parked his polo at his usual spot, grabbed his bag and entered the training center with big, confident strides. Jack was ready for a day full of training.
When he entered through the front door, he immediately felt that something was different. He didn't really know what - but something definitely was. There were murmurs and whispers and much more people than usual in the front area. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "What's going on?" he asked one of the staff, but they only shook their head, as if they weren't allowed to say anything. Jack, annoyed with the commotion, decided that he didn't really care - he was here to practice and that was what he was going to do.
He entered the locker room, putting his bag down and getting ready for his session. He had changed into his practice attire and picked up his tennis bag, the way to the practice courts only a short distance. Suddenly he bumped into a somewhat familiar body. Wait - that couldn't be - or could it really? The figure felt familiar, like the one he had been pressed up against in a hotel lobby in New York. But that was crazy. Why would Jennifer Langfort be in London? At the National Tennis Centre, nonetheless?
"Oof." the person let out a sound that resembled the yelp he had heard from Jen when he had bumped into her in New York. Before the girl could fall backwards after the hard bump-in, he placed his hands on her shoulder to steady her, and then he finally got a chance to look at the girl he'd bumped into, though he already knew it was her.
Yet, when he really saw her with his own eyes, he still couldn't believe it. He looked down at her, his eyes a dead giveaway how surprised he was at seeing her here, where he always practiced.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, stunned at seeing none other than Jennifer Langfort standing in front of him. Her eyes were wide - she hadn't been expecting him either.
"I-" she stuttered, her eyes darting across his face before locking with his. Jack's hands still rested on her shoulder, but he didn't really care to move them away, because - just maybe - touching her was some sort of reassurance to him that she was really here, that she was really standing there in front of him.
"I'm here to practice..." Jen's voice sounded surprised at seeing him. "I didn't know you'd be here."
Jack wanted to roll his eyes. It sounded like if she'd known he'd be here, she would have practiced somewhere else. "Oh, thanks." he quipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and he finally stepped back, his hands dropping from her shoulders.
Jen exhaled. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I hadn't realized you'd be practicing at the NTC, that's all." She sounded exhausted, mentally and physically, as she bent down to pick up the bag she had dropped. "My usual training center got hit by a flood in September and it's still not repaired, so now... I'm here." she shrugged with her shoulders. "The LTA was generous enough to let me practice here, because we don't really have any other high quality practice courts where I come from, except the ones I usually practice on."
"Oh." Jack's response wasn't the intellectually brilliant one he had hoped it would be, his brain desperately trying to find something that would resemble words, but it was hard to seeing as his brain seemed to turn into complete mush in her presence.
"Yeah." Jen looked around awkwardly, clearing her throat. "Well, anyway, I have to get going, I'm gonna be late for practice and I forgot something in my locker." she gestured to the room behind Jack, who stepped aside to let her get past.
As she walked past him, he caught her familiar scent - the same one that had intoxicated him in New York. "Wait." Jack couldn't stop himself. He had to know.
"Why did you disappear like that?" Jack tried not to sound too hurt, but Jen's face was riddled with guilt as she turned back to him, so he probably hadn't been too successful with that. "Look, I know we just kissed but I thought... well, I thought that there was something more going on, you know? Or did I just imagine that?" His eyes searched hers for an answer.
Jen shook her head, earnestly, her voice only slightly above a whisper. "No, you didn't." she looked down and fiddled with her hands, a nervous habit she tended to have, Jack noticed. "You didn't imagine anything, but I ... I think I panicked." she added, not meeting his eyes.
"You panicked?" Jack was confused and Jen nodded. "It was... too much. All of it." she tried to explain and Jack finally understood. The feelings - the sudden feelings - had overwhelmed her too. But while his way of dealing with it would have been to talk it out, take her on a date and see where this was going, her way of dealing with it was... running away, quite literally.
"And to be honest" Jen said quietly, "I didn't really know what to say."
"How about, 'Thank you again, Jack, for this amazing kiss. I'd gladly let you take me out on a date.'" he quipped, trying to lighten the mood a little as he sensed the tension around her, and Jen scrunched up her face in an adorable laugh. Oof, I got it bad, he thought.
"Oh really? That's what I should have said?" Jen's voice was full of laughter. "I don't recall you ever asking me out."
"Yeah, well, you never talked to me again afterwards - but if you had, I would have asked, you know." Jack winded her up, a smile making its way onto his face.
"But what makes you so sure I would have said yes?" she teased right back, and Jack loved the way the banter immediately seemed to flow between them.
"I mean... that was one hell of a kiss. Pretty sure you didn't stand a chance at saying no after that."
Jen guffawed at his mock arrogance, and Jack felt weirdly proud of making her laugh like that. "You're impossible." she playfully punched his shoulder.
"Impossible to say no to?" Jack offered, and Jen rolled her eyes, still laughing.
"You wish, Disney Prince." she shook her head with a laugh, and turned around to the lockers. Jack followed her in, enjoying their banter.
"Why'd you call me that, anyway?" he asked her as Jen rummaged around her bag. "Is it really the hair?"
Jen nodded earnestly, though the mischievous smile gave her away. "Yep, it's definitely the hair. And because you're really tall, but mostly the hair." Jen looked into his eyes, and he could detect a teasing glint in her gaze, so he decided to step up with his flirting. He walked over to her, closer than before and looked down at her, a slight smirk covering his lips.
"So you said, all the girls would love me..." he trailed off, as he playfully narrowed his eyes at her, and Jen cocked her head to the side. "Does that include you?"
Jack watched, fascinated, as a light blush dusted her cheeks - a blush she desperately tried to cover up by looking down at her fiddling hands. "N-no?" she stuttered, and Jack raised an eyebrow, the smile not leaving his face. As she looked up, her cheeks looked even darker. "Maybe?"
"So, which one is it?" Jack dared to step even closer, and he was suddenly hyper aware of her presence. His hand reached out and toyed with a string on her sports jacket. He watched as her eyes moved down to where his hand touched the string and then darted back again to his face.
"I-" Jen was clearly out of sorts, and he loved evoking this reaction in someone who was usually so self-assured and confident. But he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he decided to let her off the hook - at least for now.
"It's okay, love, I'll give you some time to think about it." Jack winked at her, and bit his lower lip as he stepped back. Then he leaned forward slightly, so his face was closer to hers and Jen looked like a deer caught in headlights. "But I definitely won't let you disappear on me again." With that, and a final smile, he turned and left the locker room, heading to his practice. It was going to be a good day, he thought, as he realized Jen would be around for quite a while. And for the first time in three months, Jack felt like he could finally breathe.
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What the fuck had just happened?
Jen stood there in the locker room, completely dumbfounded.
Jack Draper, otherwise also known as 'Disney Prince' had just flirted his ass off - and Jen had been completely out of it. Her usual confident, smart demeanor had been shattered, and it was all his doing.
Jen hadn't realized Jack Draper was such a charm and flirt machine. Like, he could seriously flirt, and he knew it. He had known exactly where to push her buttons, using her own words against her like that. And when he called her 'love' - God, she wanted to swoon.
She had to admit, after their incredible kisses in New York, she'd googled him, and basically internet stalked him. She had watched his interviews on YouTube - unfortunately there weren't too many -, she had stalked his Instagram and Twitter - unfortunately he wasn't too active-, and she'd googled any article she could find, which also wasn't a lot. The YouTube videos gave her the most to work with because she had studied the way he'd carry himself, the way he talked, and he sounded decidedly professional, thoughtful and, well, not very flirty. His interviews were completely professional, sure, but he didn't give away too much. The only sarcastic or unhinged quip here and there were a few flashes of the person he was underneath his professional persona. But he seemed really sweet, earnest and just really nice. Exactly the kind of guy she could see herself with.
But she'd gotten scared. Of course, she had noticed that Jack had followed her, and that he had liked her posts or reacted to her stories. It was impossible not to notice, at least for her, because she'd checked religiously. Jen had chickened out, pure and simple. She was a chicken when it came to being vulnerable, or letting her guard down. And somehow, Jack had gotten under her skin, he had reduced her to this mess that really only wanted to be close to him, to be held and kissed by him. He had made her want that.
And that scared Jen immensely. She'd told herself she didn't even know him. That this was just her hormones talking. But deep down, she knew it wasn't. It was real, and it was genuine, this connection between them.
Jack did have a point. Going out on a date would have been the next logical move, getting to know each other, talking to each other properly. But their paths hadn't crossed in months, and to be honest, she thought he'd forgotten her.
Clearly he hadn't. So maybe they could have a second chance - but would Jen be able to give him - them - one?
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The courts at the NTC were bustling, the British tennis elite taking up every court the center had to offer. Jen felt a little out of place, if she was being honest. A little bit like an intruder, she was hiding on the last court of the center, trying to keep any attention off of her, which was easier said than done. Sure, she knew a few of the female players, not nearly close enough to be real friends, but there were some acquaintances, and she'd seen some of the male players around at some tournaments here and there. But this was completely new territory, everybody knew everybody around here, and she didn't. The only person she'd been somewhat close to had been Jack - and really, that was only on surface level, too, even if they'd kissed.
To everyone else around the NTC, having the Jennifer Langfort there was fascinating. Lower ranked players always liked watching the higher ranked ones practice to see if there was something they could learn from them. And that was the case here as well. As Jen got ready for some drills she could feel some of the other players' eyes on her. It wasn't uncomfortable per se, but she was out of her comfort zone here, so she would have liked more privacy. But she had to make do with what she'd got, and so she just dealt with it and ignored the looks and whispers.
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Jack was on the other side of the center, much to his dismay. He would have loved to watch her train more closely. Or to watch her more closely, in general. But alas, that had to wait. Maybe he could convince her to go get some dinner together after practice - not as a date, at least not officially. He didn't want to scare her off. He had sensed some apprehension on her part, not because she didn't like him or because she wasn't affected by him, but there was definitely something else. So, he wanted to keep it light and somewhat casual, for her sake. Though, Jack knew that was probably easier said than done. He could barely control his thoughts let alone his reactions around her. Playing it cool and casual required a lot of willpower on his end.
He noticed Jen was hiding away on her practice court a little bit. She always seemed to be turned away slightly so as to not be seen by the others that clearly. And he'd noticed the attention she was getting. Clearly, she wasn't too comfortable with it.
Surely, he thought, she was used to the attention from years of being in the spotlight. Jack wondered if her discomfort stemmed from only coming back very recently after her accident - which, granted, would be a major disruption in anyone's life - or if she was uncomfortable with being in the limelight in general. He guessed it was the first because he could tell from watching her interviews she was quite the natural when it came to interviews or being the center of attention, as if she'd always been there - not in a conceited way, but simply natural. Now, however, she tended to hide away a little. Maybe she'd gotten used to her shell while she'd been away from the tennis world and it was difficult for her to get out of it. Jack decided that he'd find out.
He watched out of the corner of his eye as she went through with her practice - serves, forehands, backhands, volleys, drills, sprints, dropshots (her specialty) and all over again. The others were watching her too, but after a while it looked like she was in her own world, completely focused on her training. Her coach seemed nice, very caring and they laughed a lot together. They seemed like friends, and not just coach and player.
As Jack took a break during his own practice, he sat down on the bench and looked over at Jen, who looked so carefree and full of life as she laughed at something her coach said. He realized he hadn't ever really seen this side of her; then again, he hardly had seen any side of her yet, but he was planning on changing that. He couldn't wait to find out what kind of music she liked, what her childhood was like, what food she liked, what movies, and so many other things. He wanted to get to know the person Jennifer Langfort. What made her her.
"You're staring." Paul said as he sat down next to Jack who nearly flinched with surprise. He had been caught up in his own world watching Jen practice. "You're making it very obvious, you know?"
"Making what obvious?" Jack played dumb, but he knew exactly what Paul was going to say.
"That you like her." Paul deadpanned.
"Yeah, so?" Jack shrugged. "I don't mind if she knows."
Paul's jaw nearly fell to the floor. "Oh, so you suddenly admit it!" he hummed once he had regained his composure and Jack shrugged again, unbothered (or at the very least pretending to be).
"No chance hiding it, I'm afraid." Jack took a sip of his water. "I .. I met her in the locker room. Guess I made it abundantly clear I'm interested." Jack gnawed on his lower lip as his eyes wandered back over to Jen's form in the distance who was now talking to Katie Boulter.
Paul raised an eyebrow, slightly flabbergasted. "Oh?"
"Yeah." Jack sighed and then smiled slightly at the memory. "I told her that I would have taken her out on a date if she hadn't run off in New York. Among other things."
"Hm." Paul sounded impressed. "So you finally grew a pair." he told his best friend with a smirk.
Jack burst out laughing and threw his towel at Paul. "Oh fuck off!" he was still laughing, and he noticed Jen looking over at them out of the corner of his eyes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, we finally get to see how the great Jennifer Langfort practices." Katie Boulter teased and Jen playfully rolled her eyes. They had practiced together for the entire day, and had developed quite a good rapport between each other. "I'm pretty sure my training routine isn't that much different to yours." she remarked before she put the water bottle down. "It's really not that special."
"Girl, are you okay?" Katie laughed, astounded. "That was the hardest practice of my life! And you're trying to tell me it's nothing special?"
Jen shrugged, slightly shy at her rigorous training regimen. "I don't really know anything else. It's how I've always practiced. Guess I've always been a little obsessed with improving."
"Huh." Katie looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "So that's how you become World Number 1 then. Duly noted."
Jen laughed at Katie's remark and then she heard another round of laughter coming from the other side of the hall. It was Jack and a guy she didn't recognize, but they seemed to be really close. Jack was laughing at something his friend had said and threw a towel at him. Jen couldn't help but smile at that. She wished she'd had someone who was this close to her during her early practice years, someone who was a genuine friend. She wished she hadn't always been so alone during these formative years because she was the only one from her country on that level. It sometimes was quite lonely.
Katie had watched Jen as she had observed Jack and Paul's shenanigans on the other end of the hall. She wasn't stupid - she had noticed Jen trying her hardest not to look in Jack's direction but she had slipped up sometimes, and she had wondered what was going on there, if maybe she just found Jack attractive? She didn't really think they'd met before. And she realized from talking to Jen a little bit that she must have been quite lonely or at the very least spending a lot of time on her own despite the friends she had on the tour.
"Have you met Jack?" Katie asked and Jen didn't notice the slight glint in Katie's eyes. Katie was so ready to play matchmaker. All the while during practice she'd thought that Jen and Jack would get on great. Jen was absolutely lovely, so down to earth despite her level of fame and she was hilarious - Katie would make a bet with anyone at the NTC that Jen would be Jack's type. So she decided to take matters into her own hands - he mind was buzzing with ideas.
"Uh - " Jen stuttered slightly before catching herself as her eyes flitted to Katie's. "No, I haven't."
"Hm." Katie cocked her head to the side. "Then you definitely should."
Before Jen could even realized what Katie was implying, she was dragged over to court 1 where Jack and Paul were sitting on the bench.
"Oy, Jack, Paul!" Katie shouted over to them and they looked up at her, surprised. "Meet Jen!"
Jen was being dragged by her new friend across the court to the bench, looking a little like a human ragdoll mixed with a deer caught in headlights. As the girls finally came to a halt right in front of Jack and Paul, the boys shared a look and a smile before getting up and meeting the girls. Katie looked at them expectantly and Paul made the first move. "Hi Jen, it's nice to meet you. I'm Paul."
Paul looked very friendly and nice as he held out his hand and Jen took it shyly, with a slight smile. "Hi Paul, it's nice to meet you too." she said softly. There was a cheeky glint in Paul's eyes that she couldn't quite decipher and she didn't have time to dwell on it because Jack stepped right in front of her with a barely contained smile. She could see Paul nudge Jack and Jen knew then and there that Jack had most definitely told Paul about their encounter in New York. She immediately felt her face heat up - which was extremely bad timing because she knew Jack could see it, and so could Katie, who had apparently decided to claim the title 'matchmater of the NTC'. Jack definitely noticed her blush because his smile deepened as he held out his hand, a teasing look in his eyes.
"Hi Jen." Jack took her hand and Jen felt her heard stutter. "I'm Jack. Nice to finally meet you, I've heard quite a lot about you." Jen felt completely entranced by him. Since when was he so openly flirty. Somewhere in another universe she could hear Paul choking slightly on a cough in the background, but she didn't really register it as she looked up at Jack with big eyes and red cheeks.
"Hi Jack." she said, her voice slightly shaky. "Nice to meet you too." Jen cleared her throat as she stepped away slightly and Jack licked his lips as he watched get all flustered. He was clearly loving this.
Katie had definitely felt the tension because her voice nearly cut it in half, it was so thick. "So now that you guys have met, what about a welcome dinner for Jen tonight? You know, to welcome her here. She doesn't really know anyone." she said and Jen rolled her lips in to stop herself from snorting. Oh, if she'd known!
Jack had seen her try to keep in her laughter after what Katie had said and covered up his smile by taking a sip of water. "Of course, that's a great idea. Isn't it, Jack?" Paul nudged his friend and Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, absolutely. Let's do it."
Katie clapped her hands together, excited at bringing them all together - and maybe making Jen and Jack spend time together. "Fantastic! I'll ask the others as well - the more the merrier!"
Jen's eyes flitted from Katie to Jack to Paul and back to Jack before she smiled gently at Katie. "Yeah, sure, sound's lovely." she said quietly before excusing herself. She definitely needed a little time to breathe.
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When Jack had woken up that day, he hadn't realized the day would pan out like this. After he had met Jen in the lockers he had planned on asking her out and keep it a little casual, but maybe it was a good idea for them to go to dinner all together because that meant less pressure on Jen. He never would have wanted to pressure her into anything that overwhelmed her.
When Katie - completely unaware of their prior connection - had 'introduced' them to each other, Jack had barely been able to contain himself. The situation was so comical and surreal, but at the same time... his heart skipped a beat when he had looked at the girl in front of him. She looked so sweet and shy and her blush... God. That drove him wild. The way she'd blushed when taking his hand. He was discovering so many sides to her and he couldn't wait to discover more.
And then, when she'd excused herself, he wondered if Jen was getting overwhelmed with the attention or the situation, and if he could do something - anything - for her. He waited a few moments before telling the others he was going to the toilet. Jack didn't care if Paul knew he was going after Jen.
He found her leaning against the railing outside which was sort of like a balcony, outside of the rooms where they usually did their fitness training. It wasn't too hard to spot her, she was the only person in this area of the NTC. When Jack walked through the door, it looked like she was deep in thought.
"Hey, you okay?" His voice was soft, but she was still startled, her eyes wide as she turned around. Recognizing it was Jack, she relaxed again.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... needed a break, I guess. From people." she said quietly, but the amused raise of her eyebrow gave away that it was meddling people in particular she wanted to get away from.
"So I gather Katie picked up on whatever's going on." Jack stood next to her as they both looked out onto the grass outside of the balcony.
Jen hummed, fiddling with her hands. "Yeah, I guess so. Quite perceptive, that one." she said and Jack laughed. "That may have been less her perception and more the fact that we keep looking over to each other during practice." he chuckled and Jen burst out laughing too. "Yeah, probably. Not quite so subtle."
The laughter died down and silence set in before Jack broke it. "You know, you don't have to do this whole dinner thing if you're not comfortable with it." he told her softly, before adding, "You can always do dinner with just me." There was a teasing glint in his eye and Jen laughed - a sound that made Jack feel all warm inside. "Very smooth, and very tempting." Jen turned to the side to look at him properly, just to find him already watching her. "But it's fine. I guess it'll actually be quite nice to get to know everyone there."
Jack watched her quietly for a moment, the teasing still visible in the way he looked at her, before sighing. "Yeah, I guess so. But I'm telling you right now, you're missing out on the best dinner company you could have."
Jen bit back a smile at his remark. "Aren't you going to be there, too?"
Jack leaned forward, slightly - he couldn't help himself, he was enjoying their flirty banter way too much. "Yeah, but I bet it would be much more fun alone."
Jen's breath hitched slightly as he spoke, and Jack had trouble keeping himself from kissing her right then and there. She caught herself again and rolled her eyes. "You have quite the opinion of yourself, huh?"
Jack laughed and gently grabbed her hand in his. "No, I just know that if you're there and we're together, it's going to be a lot of fun."
Jen's eyes darted down to where his hand had touched hers before drifting back to his face, raising an eyebrow. She was quite tough to crack, he had to give her that. He thought he'd had her, and then she regained complete composure. It was almost like a game and he couldn't get enough. "So what exactly does that fun entail?" she murmured and Jack had to used all of his willpower to keep his cool.
"Maybe the same fun we had in New York?" His voice was just as low as hers and their faces were impossibly close. Jack hadn't even realized they'd somehow drifted even closer together.
"Is that a question or a statement?" she challenged him, her eyes burning into his. And with that Jack had enough - he leaned in, and waited just a beat to ask if this was okay, before she nodded slightly and his lips were on hers.
He'd nearly forgotten how good it felt to feel her lips on his and how soft they were and how she tasted. Jack didn't waste any time - he pinned her back against the railing, his hands in her hair and on her back to guide and steady her. His lips moved against hers almost in a frenzy - he felt like he was in a rush, he hadn't kissed her in nearly three months. Jack felt like a drowning man who only now was coming up for air again, which was ironic because he was gradually running out of breath, but he didn't want to let go just yet. Their kiss was a rush of hands, tongues and sighs, breaths mingling in a heated moment and his head was spinning. He completely forgot the world around him, the fact that they were literally in the National Training Center and anyone could have walked in on them at any given moment - nothing of that mattered to Jack. All that mattered to him was Jen and how she felt once again pressed up against him, her hands on the back of his neck and in his hair, slightly tugging at the long strands. His hands wandered from her hair to her back, pulling her into a complete embrace before one of his hand slid back up into her hair. He was tugging her impossibly closer to him, but it still didn't feel like it was enough. Everything around him was completely drowned out, all he could focus on and feel was Jen. Her hands were soft, just like her lips and Jack could feel them all over his shoulders and chest, the back of his neck, in his hair. Her lips moved against his in what felt slightly like a frenzy, and Jack responded with equal passion.
He didn't know how long they were standing there, Jack holding Jen close to him, their arms wrapped around each other like they were each other's lifeline. And he didn't care. He didn't want to stop kissing her, he didn't want to stop holding her.
But Jen - between them - was the voice of reason and once again pulled away first. Jack wanted to scream, once again, just like he'd wanted in New York each time she had pulled away. Deep down, his rational self knew why she did, but his heart told him he didn't want to stop. At all. Jack pulled back slightly, albeit unwillingly, and opened his eyes. He breathed heavily and his chest was rising up and down rapidly
"Jack..." Jen mumbled, her hand still in his hair and her eyes closed. "We're in the middle of the NTC... we can't... we shouldn't..." Her words were a slightly jumbled and mumbled mess as she finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. Jack couldn't breathe with the way she looked at him. His mind was foggy and really all he wanted to do was lean back in and kiss her. He couldn't really understand what she was doing to him, and for what felt like the hundredth time he thought he had never really felt like this before.
"I know." he murmured but didn't move away. He still held her in his arms, their hearts beating rapidly against each other's chests. "I know we shouldn't... but i can't stop, I - I don't know how." Jack looked down at her, his eyes slightly hooded. It was like someone - or Jen - had pushed the 'off' button on his mind, because it didn't seem to function properly, just like his body. Instead of moving away like he should, he moved closer again, kissing her softly. And despite what Jen had said, she responded immediately and fervently. It was a soft and gentle kiss, they weren't rushing in the midst of a heated kiss, but the passion could still be felt in the way Jack held her against him and tilted her head into the perfect angle to move his lips against hers. This time he pulled away slightly, his breath mixing with hers, his eyes closed. "I don't want to stop." he whispered against her lips and moved back in into another soft kiss, his hands moving to gently cup her face.
Jack finally pulled away, knowing that they could be caught any minute - he wouldn't have really minded per se, but he knew that Jen would have felt embarrassed because she didn't really know anyone here that well. His thumbs caressed her cheeks and Jack noticed with astonishment they were slightly red. "You're blushing." he murmured as he watched his thumbs move across her skin. Jen grinned up at him as she held onto his arms and rolled her eyes. "Am not."
"You so are." he whispered and couldn't help but grin. "You're adorable." Jen blushed even more and his grin widened. He did that, he thought. He felt like it was a huge accomplishment. Jen rolled her eyes again and stepped back slightly. Jack felt a sense of loss now that she wasn't pressed up against him anymore. Jen took a deep breath and straightened her clothes, maybe to distract herself a little, Jack couldn't really tell. But then again, he hardly ever could tell what was going on insider her head. That's why it felt like such an accomplishment to him to see Jen blush or react in any way to him. "I have to go, my team's probably waiting and to be honest... I have no idea how long we were out here..." she said with a slightly embarrassed smile - and there it was again. That sense of accomplishment Jack felt at making her forget any sense of time. He only grinned cheekily and the blush on her cheeks deepened once again.
"I'll see you tonight, Disney Prince." she walked to the door to get inside from the terrace and Jack watched her, his eyes never leaving her even once.
"Is that a promise, Cinderella?" he called after her with a grin and as Jen walked through the door he could see her smile as she looked back at him one last time.
#jack draper#jack draper x reader#please don't mind my awkward ramble at the beginning#posting this makes me nervous and awkward lol#fiona writes#not that great but she does
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Ok so actually writing to get to the parts in the bullet points is harder than I anticipated, especially on mobile but I do have a bunch of ideas that I need to get out, here's the first post for anyone who hasn't seen it
After Uni Jon starts working at The Institute because he's desperate for evidence of the Paranormal
He becomes one of the hardest working people in the Research department
Sasha becomes the Archivist and requests Tim as an assistant but she also gets Martin and Jon because Elias insists she needs more hands to help with organizing
She does NOT like either of them
She views Martin as incompetent and while Jon is surprisingly good at follow up, his refusal to use a ladder causes more chaos than she believes he's worth
Prentiss bullies Jon instead of Martin and the knocking sends him into such a severe panic that Michael shows up
Jon gets dropped face first into the Archives
Cue Martin finally connecting the dots that this is the same scrunkly little gremlin from childhood
Martin offers to let Jon stay with him but Jon is so worried about taking up space in Martin's flat that he declined
Season 1 events continue mostly as Canon but with Tim learning the extinguisher trick
Tim still loathes The Circus because while Jon and Martin's childhoods are different, Tim still has a dead brother
Instead of the worm attack happening because Jon saw a spider, Sasha catches Jon climbing the shelves and her scolding him so suddenly makes him lose footing
Not!Them remains bound to the table for Season 2 events
Breekon and Hope take the table at one point
Sasha+Tunnel=finding evidence of old man
Sasha becomes convinced that Jon is gunning for her position, Tim starts thinking Jon is sketchy ™️
Michael "bullies" Jon and it makes the poor guy feel worse than when he was a kid nobody believed
Jon's joints are a bit more flexible than usual, it's probably nothing
Tim is increasingly worried about Sasha's new obsession and becomes super paranoid about Jon's reactions but Jon is genuinely interested in Sasha's exploration and not so secretly wishes he could go in with her
Jon takes several convenient lunch breaks whenever the cops are in the Archives (he has a massive record of trespassing and B&E lol)
Jon was taking a nap in a spot that doesn't get checked when he witnesses the brutal pipe murder, gives Sasha Georgie's address so she can be safe
Sasha goes through the season 3 ringer
Martin spends a lot of time protecting Jon from the cops because he's the second highest suspect
Anyway, I might have more later but this is the easiest way to get things out while I try to get things into plain fanfic format
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This Time on Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains Analysis: How the Fuck Did Aoi's Writing Get Worse
Got sidetracked by GX Week, but I'm back to talk about Aoi again, because oh boy...
So for season 1, I'd heard the rumors of how they screwed her over, and they were mostly in line with the ways I expect Yugioh female characters to be failed by the writers. Overall I still liked Aoi and, while I found some decisions distasteful, I didn't think the actual quality of her writing was worse than other characters'.
Aoi's writing in season 2 is several times worse than it was in season 1. It's truly a disaster, amateurish and baffling, in a way that I think most viewers don't even consciously realize. And while it may not be the worst moment in Yugioh -- it is, in my opinion, the worst writing I've ever seen in Yugioh.
Anyway, that's how I wrote 4k words descending into Aoi madness. Enjoy!
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Before I begin, a fair warning: I'm gonna say some harsh things in this post. Because being mean is funny, and I deserve it after what I just watched.
But I also want say up front that I don't think the Vrains writers are bad writers, and I still have respect for them. Writing for children's television is grueling work that I could never do, and there are many reasons why bad art is released into the world besides simple writing skill. Vrains clearly had a troubled production, and I have other suspicions about why it turned out the way it did. If there's interest, I think that could be its own post, too.
Also, I refer to the "writers" in this post when I criticize Vrains's storytelling, but to be clear, directors, producers, storyboarders, and others can have just as much influence over the show's story as writers, or even more so. I use the term writers for convenience's sake.
Without further ado...
⇀ Losing My Mind Immediately
Akira lets Aoi go into the restricted area, which nobody has ever returned from.
Ahem... WHO ARE YOU??? Why is Akira, overprotective onii-san numero uno, extremely willing to put his sister on house arrest for her own safety, has never given Aoi his permission to fight, suddenly letting her go off into a danger zone with a 0% survival rate, right after she lost to Spectre immediately in the Tower of Hanoi conflict.
Oh, so now you think she's capable? Why???
Not only that, they make Ghost Girl be the one to say it's too dangerous for her. What?? Ghost Girl is the one who encouraged Aoi to sneak out and into the danger zone in season 1. These are literally the last two characters who would say these things to Aoi.
Then, when they enter the restricted area, Aoi immediately gives up her emergency logout program to an NPC. Normally I'd brush this off. Naivety being used to emphasize female characters' moral virtuosity is passé, but it's not a big deal. It wouldn't be, if the next 30 seconds didn't make me completely go off the rails. This is the speech that is possibly the worst writing, line by line, that I have ever seen in Yugioh.
Roll the tape...
Aoi: Recent events have taught me that I'm still a child. I took on Hanoi for my brother, but look how that turned out. I troubled everyone, and they needed to save me. I was full of myself, thinking I can do anything on my own, but in truth, the world is full of people and we're all connected. Everyone saved me. So this time, I want to save everyone. I'll become stronger, so this time, I'll do everything I can!
Literally none of these sentences make sense... Half of them aren't even true. It reads like ChatGPT asked to write a shonen speech -- the facade of being inspiring, but ultimately empty and nonsensical.
"I took on Hanoi for my brother," This is blatantly false. She had a whole goddamn episode focused on why she decides to fight Hanoi, it's her duel with Baira, and it's specifically about how she's not doing this for her brother, she's not doing this for herself, she's doing this for everyone. If anything, she disregards her brother in order to fight Hanoi.
Blue Angel: I learned something from my duels. When people believe in you, you're fighting for everyone. So I will fight for everyone from now on!
Sound familiar? It's the same goddamn thing she's saying right now, "this time, I want to save everyone." Why are they framing this as Aoi having a new realization, having learned her lesson? What they demonstrate with this is that Aoi hasn't learned her lesson. The reason she lost to Spectre is because trying to save everyone includes trying to save him, and he takes advantage of her naivety.
Blue Angel: You're the same as me... When you were alone, you sought love, and Blue Angel's blue is the ultimate love! Blue Angel will descend into your heart, and save your soul! Spectre: Really? *bows mockingly* Please, then, save my soul!
Naively trying to save others is exactly what she's doing right now, by thoughtlessly giving away her emergency logout in a place that nobody has ever returned from. Her character has gone completely backwards. I said in my last post that losses are good because we get to see characters grow -- I stand by the opinion that they could have made the Spectre loss work -- but they've bungled it on three different levels. She loses horribly, then they retcon her reason for losing, in order to make her character regress.
Apparently, the real reason Aoi lost to Spectre, is because "she was full of herself, thinking she could do anything on her own." I'm so mad. First of all, Aoi clearly wasn't acting on her own and never thought she was, Go and Yusaku were both fighting Hanoi too. Why are they acting like Aoi lost because of hubris?
You know who thought he could do everything on his own? Yusaku. But clearly he didn't need to learn that "the world is full of people and we're all connected." He clearly believed the opposite, because he did everything by himself and tried to reject allyship at every turn and yet lo and behold, he hasn't lost a single duel.
"Everyone saved me. So this time, I want to save everyone." NO, LITERALLY ONE PERSON SOLO'D HANOI, AND EVERYONE ELSE DID JACK SHIT. This resolution that Aoi comes to not only regresses her character, but it makes no goddamn sense. Who is the everyone you're talking about, Aoi? Are they in the room with us right now?
Who am I kidding, it's obvious who the "everyone" is, because as she says it, the clip that plays is Akira's manpain as Aoi gets turned into data. Because even in this moment that has nothing to do with Akira, the writers cannot resist bending Aoi's character to revolve around how much she loves her beloved onii-san, even though it makes no sense in this context of trying to save a random NPC.
Frankly, the whole "everyone saved me" also makes no sense in the context of trying to save a random NPC. But like, even less sense than that, because the actual context of this "heartfelt" shonen speech is that she's trying to get Ghost Girl to give up her emergency logout button. Ghost Girl, established to be self-serving and willing to throw others under the bus to advance herself. Why does this speech convince her? It doesn't even have anything to do with her.
Great, so now not only have they botched Aoi's character, but for the rest of the show, Ghost Girl is stripped of the characteristics that actually made her engaging.
If they wanted Aoi to convince Ghost Girl to give up her escape program and become more selfless, it's simple. Have her say, "We saved you." Ghost Girl wouldn't be standing here right now, if Aoi and the others hadn't risked everything to save everyone.
There's more I could pick on about these 30 seconds, like how the writers aren't content with handing Aoi a humiliating loss, but they also make her act like she deserved to be "humbled" by that experience: "Recent events have taught me that I'm still a child," "I troubled everyone, and they needed to save me." It's like they're not content with infantilizing her in the narrative, they need to make sure she infantilizes herself.
Which brings me back to the point about Aoi's "hubris." Because what is implied by saying that Aoi lost because of hubris when nothing she said or did suggested that, is that it was hubris for Aoi to fight at all. It was hubris for Aoi, and the audience, to believe she could do anything. Which is just maddening.
And to top it all off, to add insult to indignity to injury to insanity, she finishes her speech by saying, "I'll become stronger! This time, I'll do everything I can!"
AND THEN. SHE LOSES. IN THE NEXT EPISODE.
This speech reads like a bad influencer apology. First they "admit" their mistake (that Blue Angel didn't do anything in the Hanoi fight), then they deflect and change the story about what actually happened (it's because she was being full of herself! That's definitely why she lost), and finally they promise to do better (don't worry, this season, Aoi will get stronger and get some wins!), but they don't.
I can talk more about how the writers give Aoi shallow girlboss speeches instead of actually demonstrating her strength in duels, but that will come when I talk about Blue Maiden.
Right now... it's time to talk about Blue Girl vs. Soulburner.
⇀ What's in a re-introductory duel?
Something that's pretty standard in Yugioh is the concept of the season 2 "re-introductory duel." Think Shou's promotion duel in GX, the filter episodes that came before the World Grand Prix arc started, the Sector Security battle royale in Arc-V. They can be story-relevant, or completely filler, but the point is to re-familiarize you with the main supporting characters. If you look at the first 10 episodes of a Yugioh season 2, you'll generally see all the main supporting characters represented in a duel. And if they aren't, it may reveal something about how relevant they are to the writers (Misawa GX, Ruka 5D's, Yuzu Arc-V...)
Go gets his re-introductory duel against Soulburner, and though I have my issues with how they handled Go in Season 2, which I went into in my previous post, it succeeds in every way a re-introductory duel should. It addresses the transition of his character between seasons, sets up his conflict for this season, introduces his new cards, adds character to Soulburner, and establishes a dynamic between the two. Their opposition is natural, and if anything, the season fails to capitalize on how well this duel set things up.
Aoi's re-introductory duel... is also against Soulburner. And their opposition... uh...
Look, I'll be frank, there is only one reason for Soulburner to duel Aoi, his third duel already in 10 episodes: they are fast-tracking him into main character slot #2. I talked about this in the Soulburner analysis.
Aoi and Soulburner have no reason to be fighting, this match-up is completely artificial. They went "well Aoi needs to get a re-introductory duel because that's the Yugioh formula, and Soulburner needs more screentime, so let's shove them together," regardless of how it doesn't make narrative sense. How do they do that?
Blue Girl: We came to find the Ignis. SOL-- I mean, my brother can help you. Soulburner: You don't understand. The Lost Incident made us suffer for a long time. SOL Technologies was partly responsible for that. Entrust our future to them? Thanks, but we'll solve our own problems. Blue Girl: *frowning* In that case, those Ignis originally belonged to SOL Technologies. Give them back. Soulburner: What?
This is completely out of character for her. She knows that they're victims of the Lost Incident, she knows what they've been through, and they've just told her they're trying to save someone whose consciousness was stolen. She just said that her motivation is saving people, specifically to pay back the people who saved her. Guess who the only person who saved you was, Aoi? It wasn't your onii-san.
It would've made more sense for Ghost Girl to duel Soulburner. She's the one who was established to be a self-serving bounty hunter in Season 1. Oh, but if you gave Ghost Girl a re-introductory duel, it might give off the wrong impression that she's relevant?
This duel doesn't even add anything to Soulburner's character either, the way that Soulburner vs. Go did.
What could they have done if they were actually thinking about Aoi?
How about Aoi vs. Akira? Akira tells her that if she can beat him in a duel, he'll believe that she's strong enough to go into the restricted zone. Or they could do Aoi vs. Ghost Girl -- same thing, Ghost Girl tells Akira that if Aoi wins, it proves she's equally capable of going on this mission.
Either of these would check all the boxes for a re-introductory duel. It's a memorable matchup, it re-establishes the personalities and (IN-CHARACTER) relationships of these three, and it addresses the transition between seasons -- we left off from Aoi's devastating loss, and this duel would bridge her into an upwards character arc in Season 2.
Of course, if they did that, they would have to make an upwards character arc for Aoi.
These two episodes have succeeded in the exact opposite of what a re-introductory episode is supposed to do. It's a garbage fire of bad writing. They regress her character, and call it progress. She's out of character, in order to be unsympathetic. They don't set up an arc for Aoi this season, because they haven't thought of one. They introduce new cards that never come back. But none of it matters anyway, because Aoi isn't actually important! We'll just make up something new the next time we're contractually obligated to give her a few episodes (but not too many, god forbid!)
I guess there's one part of her character they make consistent, which is making her lose in the worst ways possible.
⇀ Blue Girl vs. Soulburner
You know how in my last Aoi post, I said that it's good when characters lose duels, and that "X should have won that duel" is a comment that often misunderstands how outcomes are about narrative purpose rather than deck matchups?
Forget everything I said. Aoi ABSOLUTELY should have won that duel holy shit. I just witnessed a goddamn crime.
So there is actually one more reason that Soulburner duels Aoi. It's that it's a good concept for a duel. Aoi should annihilate Soulburner. Go ahead with your 72 step Salamangreat combo I dare you. Go ahead and use Burning Draw I dare you. Everyone likes seeing how the underdog comes out of a pinch, and if I came out of the duel thinking, "Wow, I can't believe Soulburner pulled that off!" I could have forgiven it.
Ha ha... wow..... I can't believe Soulburner pulled that off......
I'm not usually that bothered by hyper specific made up anime cards, but what the fuck is that trap that negates effect damage under 300. Countering exactly 1) Skull Invitation 2) Ojama Trio 3) Every one of Aoi's cards. Yeah okay, fuck you Aoi.
And Aoi still should have won, if Soulburner didn't one-up Aoi's own Fusion Summon by Burning Draw YOLO topdecking a fucking Salamangreat Super Poly out of nowhere. Why??? Because the scripter couldn't think of a way out of the situation other than copying one of the strongest cards ever designed?? Fuck you Aoi.
Even Ghost Girl knows how robbed she was.
It's salt on the wound to cap off her "I'll get stronger speech" by having her lose a duel that was 99-1 in her favor. Soulburner deletes her life points in one attack, she screams and gets slammed into a cliff, and Soulburner stands over her and says, "Blue Girl, you're stronger than before."
Jesus, just look at that condescending framing.
Aoi doesn't show up again in a relevant capacity for 20 episodes, and doesn't have another duel for 30 -- that's a quarter of Vrains. Her last words as Soulburner stands over her are "You won because of the bond between a duelist and an AI?" before she passes out.
This, I suppose, is their weak attempt at introducing a plot for Aoi this season. It's... well...
⇀ Aqua and Miyu
The Miyu backstory is lazy as hell.
I'm sorry to all the fans rooting for female characters and wlw ships, but this writing was unbelievably sloppy. Someone put "Aoi's childhood friend was a victim of the Lost Incident and that's how she gets the Water Ignis" into the show notes and then didn't think about it until it was time to write the episode.
Miyu is not a cardboard cutout. She's not cut from cardstock, both of those at least have structural integrity. Miyu has the character solidness of wet tissue. She's an NPC, a parody of a generic little girl. The only reason to care about her is if you buy into the cheap writing shortcut of damselling little girls, or you're a desperate lesbian. I'm sorry, lesbians.
They could have done anything to give Miyu an actual character, I'm not asking for a lot. Give her any kind of trait or interest -- maybe she loves the ocean and shows Aoi her collection of seashells, and she says they should go to the beach together one day but they never do. They could talk about idols, and maybe that's what inspires Aoi to later become one. They could talk about Duel Monsters, it's Yugioh for christsake. A playground duel would be adorable.
There's a million things they could have done that are more compelling than playing on the slide, but there's one that's so obvious it pains me.
The Blue Angel picture book. The one that Aoi said was her childhood treasure in the duel with Spectre, the one that motivated her to try and save him, a victim of the Lost Incident. The book that's an established part of her backstory, which made her take on the Blue Angel moniker. The book that's about a girl who is all alone until she makes friends and no longer has to cry blue tears.
Could it be more obvious? Have Miyu be the one who gave the book to Aoi. It's a backstory on a silver platter. If the writers cared about Aoi at all, if they didn't immediately forget every single thing about her the second they turn in the script for the contractually obligated Aoi episodes, they would know this. But they don't. Because even the Blue Angel picture book was clearly something they made up on the spot.
Imagine if Aoi's season 2 climax duel was vs. a controlled Miyu (à la Jin), the themes from the Spectre duel returned. Aoi questions if she really can save someone from the Lost Incident, or if it's just her own naivety, destined to be crushed over and over. But she breaks through, because this time it's her turn to save someone who's all alone. This is how you connect seasons 1 and 2, this is how you take a loss and turn it into a payoff. We can even get Spectre's perspective, he's there in the final fight.
But that's not what we get. Instead, they play on the slide, and then Miyu drops a ring down a drain, which I guess is what they think is a relatable cause of conflict for little girls. I can guarantee they would have come up with something more substantive if these were two male characters. And the pacing is just comically clunky. "Aoi-chan, look, it's my mother's ring! Isn't it pretty? Oh no, I dropped it! Wahhhhh!"
Aoi lies to Miyu's mom and says she's the one who dropped the ring, even though Miyu denies it vehemently, clearly crying and in great distress as her mother drags her away and never lets her see Aoi again.
This, we're told, is how Aoi "saved" Miyu.
Aqua: While she was imprisoned, you kept her strong, Aoi. No matter how many duels she lost, no matter how much pain she endured, even after her meals were reduced, she never broke and promised to escape. So she could see you again and apologize for that day.
.........APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT???
What the fuck kind of message is this supposed to be? Aqua is supposed to be the Ignis of TRUTH, why are she and Miyu glorifying Aoi's lie as some courageous, inspirational action, when clearly it did nothing but harm? I'm not crazy, am I? The obvious takeaway from this flashback is that even if you had good intentions lying to protect your friend, it caused miscommunication, distress, and led to their friendship breaking apart? Like, their lives would have been just fine if Aoi didn't lie, and Miyu learned a reasonable lesson about not being careless with other people's expensive objects?
This backstory is comically bad. Just imagine Miyu, going through kidnapping, starvation, and torture, sustained only by the thought that one day... she can tell the girl that she played on the slide with years ago... that she's so sorry... that her hand slipped when taking off a ring and it rolled into a drain 5 feet away.
The story would make more sense if it was me in the Lost Incident, and I was plagued by guilt over dumping Cheeto crumbs on Rachel from Pre-K, because at least I actually did something bad.
It's difficult to even articulate how much all these sloppy writing decisions compound on each other. Because they wasted Aoi's introductory episodes and didn't set up anything for her, she has no role in the story for 30 episodes. Because she was given nothing for 30 episodes, they have to shove an entire backstory for Aoi into one episode. Because they shoved the backstory into one episode, Miyu and Aoi's relationship with her are painfully rushed, generic, and flimsy. Because their relationship is so flimsy, this whole backstory, Aoi's motivation to fight, her entire season 2 plotline, is soulless garbage.
Aoi didn't remember Miyu until this episode. The writers didn't create Miyu until this episode. You cannot ask the audience to be invested in Aoi rescuing Miyu, when you don't even care enough to conceptualize her.
And this is the most damning conclusion of this post. The writers don't care about Miyu. And they don't care about Aoi. And they don't care if you care about them. You weren't meant to care about them.
Again, I'm not saying that the Vrains writers are bad writers, or they hate women. There are other factors to consider, like the specifics of gender relations in Japan, how Yugioh animes primarily exist to advertise trading cards to young boys, the fact that there has not been a single female writer on Yugioh since season 2 of GX. And obviously, Vrains had production issues, and every character suffered from flawed writing.
But my point is, Aoi suffered the most for it.
⇀ Final Thoughts
There's a lot more that I could say about Aoi for the rest of the show. Like how she gets a magical girl transformation sequence, only to be irrelevant for 10 episodes again, and we have to wait that entire time to see her new deck. Then the duel, which really needed to be a two-episoder, is about Haru instead. The pointlessness of the Bohman duel. The pointlessness of Yusaku's "identity reveal" to Aoi. How they needed to have a third and fourth Akira manpain scene as Aoi is "taken away" from him, though I guess in that last one Aoi gets to have some girlpain too.
I did plan to talk about each of these duels, and more about how I would do an Aoi vs. Miyu conflict, but this post has gotten way out of hand already, and I've made the points I wanted to make.
I hope it was cathartic for everyone who was disappointed with Aoi, and perhaps gave language to people who were frustrated but unable to articulate why. I did some research into what other people have said about Aoi's character, such as this video by YugiohEverything, but I find that a lot of discourse in Yugioh is not very good at pinpointing why something works or doesn't work, and the actual skill of writing is oversimplified. This is especially true when it comes to Yugioh girls, and criticisms tend to fall back on losing duels or getting put in a coma, and while those can suck, they aren't the real problem.
In my last Aoi post I said "I'll just have to hope that they don't fumble whatever new thing they give her... but things tend to get bleaker for female Yugioh characters as the show goes on and whatever initial involvement they had in the story fizzles out," and this, I think, has been the real problem persistently for Yugioh girls. The writers are contractually obligated to come up with something when a series is first pitched, but when that period is up, or when concessions have to be made, the female characters are the first to be forgotten.
I just didn't think it would be this bad for Aoi.
Well. Expectations lowered.
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First Aoi analysis
All Vrains season analysis
#if you read the whole thing you a real one#yugioh vrains#vrains season analysis#aoi zaizen#ygo#pico commentary
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Do you like magic? Adventure? Complicated characters? TV shows that are slowly being written by an amateur writer who have dedicated more time to it than they probably should? Queer representation? Screenwriting?
In that case, hello! My name is Milo (they/he) and I am currently writing a show titled The Otherlands! Please bear with me while I try and explain it.
It's a fantasy adventure set in a world where only the people who have magic and were born with the gene for it can remember it. These people are called magicians, and they, along with other magical species, live in a small area dubbed The Otherlands, Oregon.
Season one stars:
HENRY LANDON, a seventeen year old boy who had a relatively ordinary life until his brother Beau went missing. That opened up a whole new mystery for him as he learns that, not only is magic real, but he has it.
ATLAS SONDERS, a sixteen year old ember--humanoid fire being--summoned by Henry and his friends for protection in finding Beau. Instead of wanting money or items in return, all he wants is friendship.. and a way to escape the past that is always creeping up on him.
The focus and protagonists shift as seasons go on and we delve deeper into the problem: everyone used to be able to learn magic, even if they weren't born with it. This all changed after someone used their magic to stop an attack... and ended up affecting everyone. There are two different organizations trying to fix the magic that caused the world to be the way it is now.
THE GUARD: A group of magicians dedicated to keeping The Otherlands relatively peaceful. They have a long history with the memory curse, and its mysterious captain is supposedly the one who put it up, though the world's memories of him are... strange and scattered.
THE INCENTIVE: An organization that exists simply to take the curse down and bring magic back to everyone. But they tend to go about it in violent ways, having grown impatient from all of the years of failed attempts.
But really, nobody is truly good or evil, are they? Everyone has their own secrets and problems.
People are complicated.
And that's what the Otherlands gets across, through delving into the lives and minds of different characters. That’s why the show has no real protagonist, because it shows that nobody is the hero of the story. Everyone does their part. Everyone is important to the solution in their own way.
Some other important characters, some that turn into protagonists by the later seasons:
PENN GRAVES, a seventeen year old girl who tries her best to be there for her friends while navigating her own struggles with pieces of her childhood that she really doesn't know how to feel about resurfacing.
BEAU LANDON, a nineteen year old magician who constantly tries to do what's best to help the people he cares about be okay, but doesn't know how to focus on himself and his own needs.
ACHERAN SONDERS, a nineteen year old ember with secrets kept even from herself. They care about their loved ones but, because of the situation they've been put in and the people who control them, they don't know how to feel that properly.
ALEC GRAVES, the man who put up the curse in the first place.
So if this sounds good to you, I'm thinking of posting the script for the first episode on tumblr--and if people like it, I'll keep posting them! I've written up to season 3, episode 1 (there are nine episodes in a season) and outlined the entire show, so content is promised.
Let me know if this sounds good!
#screenwriting#the otherlands#original work#tv show#tv show idea#pitching a show? kind of?#fantasy adventure#lgbtq#please let me know if you'd like to read this!
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Azula's character was written for redemption...
So, as some of you may know, Aaron Ehasz was the headwriter and co-executive producer of the first two seasons of Avatar the last Airbender, so by all means, he had a lot of say about the creation of the characters and the 2/3rds of their development, or in some cases, 1/2nds. It's safe to say that next to nobody knows those characters and their purposes as well as he does.
And as some of you also know, after the show had ended, Ehasz made a tweet, publicly announcing that he always intended for Azula to have a redemption arc. Always. It wasn't a last minute decision, it was the end goal from the beginning. Which means that, naturally, in order to create a plotline that doesn't feel forced or odd, Ehasz needed to write a character that always had the potential to be redeemed. He couldn't create an irredeemable character and try to redeem them later. It wouldn't make sense.
Which is why Azula's character always was and still is a perfectly redeemable character.
I genuinely believe that the people that can't see that, simply fail to understand Azula's intentions.
I've had conversations with people that have had perfect understanding of Azula's state of mind, personality and actions, but still failed to understand why she's so redeemable, because they didn't understand her intentions. And I don't blame them for not understanding. You can look at Azula's character all you want, and you still won't see it. Because it isn't just about Azula. It's about the Fire Nation as a whole.
The thing about the Fire Nation is that they genuinely believe they are doing something that is good. It's not just a bunch of people that saw the opportunity to do something evil and did it for fun. Sozin did something evil for power and then gaslighted entire generations into believing they were going something good. The Fire Nation is a bunch of people that think they are doing something good.
In Azula's case, I drew a picture to help you understand.
(Disclaimer: Ozai's crown isn't historically accurate.)
As you can see in the picture, yes, at the end of the day, Azula does bad stuff, but not because she recognizes they are bad and genuinely wants to do then just because. She's s victim of manipulation from an adult she had every reason to trust and brainwashed by the same propaganda that controlled the rest of the nation.
So yes, she did bad stuff and she's a villain.
But she is redeemable.
Every time we see Azula try hard to complete a mission, she's passionate about it. She's passionate to do the "right" thing and she's passionate to make the person that loves her proud. That's why she doesn't evil stuff. It's not because she enjoys pain. It's not because she gets off on people suffering. It's because she thinks it's right, and she's rewarded with love.
Which is what makes her redeemable.
Because being passionate about doing something you think is right means you want to do right things. You just need your view of right to align with what's objectively right. So by that logic, all Azula needs is someone to teach her what is actually right and her views will align with that, and then she'd be passionate about doing the real right thing. The good stuff.
And someone that would do that for her, is someone who would obviously love her, or at the very least, someone who wants the best for her. So with time, it's logical to assume that sooner or later, she'll want to make this person proud.
There's nothing wrong with Azula's mentality of "do good, make proud". It's not inherently evil. Just easy to use. Right now, Ozai has used this to fill the blanks and turn the situation into "do fire nation good, make father proud". All Azula needs to be redeemed is for someone to remove the "fire nation" and "father" proud. Assuming that this person is Zuko, he should just switch it to "do what is considered good on a worldwide level, make brother proud" and just like that, Azula has gone from evil to good.
It's obviously easier said than done, but it is possible. Azula's mentality is what allows her to be anything, evil and good. It's really impressive and fascinating how Ehasz wrote such a character, but he did it for a purpose. This kind of mentality is perfect for creating an evil character that gets redeemed. And it's the exact same mentality Zuko also has. And Zuko hot redeemed, so Azula can too.
This proven.
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Downhill (D.Prevc x D.Tande)
Hello guys! I am back with another part of my oneshot series (last part is here). This will be a part 1 (part 2 is currently in writing but it may take a while because of uni and stuff but I will hurry). First off all I am sorry. This one shot ends in a cliffhanger and if this was ao3 I would tag it as emotional hurt/no comfort (comfort will be in part 2). It is set in Lillehammer 2024 (where Domen had this insane stunt and then his first fall). I hope you still enjoy it!
Wordcount: 6249
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My favourite weekend of the year is always the first weekend of the season. Nothing beats the excitement, the thrill and the unknow before the first competition. Nobody is stressed yet and it shows. The people are way more friendly than normally. Even I am. We are all just happy to be here.
This season the first weekend feels different though. For the first time ever none of my brothers were with me when I stet foot on the plane heading to the first competition venue. Nika was there of course. But it felt different, nonetheless. The only thing that felt normal is that Daniel was going to pick me up at the airport. One of the perks that the season starts in Norway. He could visit his family for a week before the season starts. Even though he isn’t really depended on where the season starts now. He is retired. No longer a ski jumper. He won´t be there every time I have a competition. If the season would have started in Poland or Finland or I don’t know where, he probably wouldn’t be there. He says he needs a bit of space. A break of ski jumping. And I get it. He misses it a lot even though it was the right decision. It would hurt. So, he will be limiting the weekends where I would accompany me. It sucks but I try to put a supportive grimace on my face whenever we talk about it. At least we are living together now, and I get to see him when I am home, but it still feels like it isn’t enough.
Daniel stands in the arrival hall of the Oslo airport with flowers. “I missed you.”, he states as he pulls me into a short kiss. I let my hand linger on his back even after we parted our lips. “Missed you more.” Our apartment felt very empty without him there. He will get to know the emptiness there too, I guess. Gosh. I need to get out of this head space. Daniel can decide what is right for him. And I should be able to live my life without having him around constantly. Theoretical. “Rob allowed me that you can take my to Lillehammer if you want.” His eyes light up. Behind me I can hear the trouble my teammates are doing. I shot a quick look over my shoulder. Timi and Zak are fighting over a banana. Nika and the other Nika are trying to break them apart, but it isn’t working. Daniel follows my gaze. “Of course I will free you of that mess.”
“Are you excited?” We are halfway between Oslo and Lillehammer when we get to the subject of ski jumping. I shrug. “Feels different this year. Also, I don’t even remotely know where we stand. In my team I rank pretty decent, but we don’t know how it compares to others.” I talk as if Daniel isn’t familiar with ski jumping. As if he didn’t spend the majority of his life worrying about stuff like this. If I would be honest, I would have said that we are miles behind and my form is a stable as a house of cards. My boyfriend picks up on it too, of course. “Ok. You are weird. First, I thought it is just about the season and the change in your team but …” How do I say that I respect his decisions regarding ski jumping but that I hate them? Especially since I tried to supportive and said it wasn’t a big deal before. “It will be hard without you there this year, Daniel. I know it is the right thing for you but for me it sucks. I want you there. Every weekend. Of course, I respect that you can’t right now but that is just how I feel.” Daniel presses his lips together. He doesn’t even look at me. I take my eyes away from him and look outside the window. Norway is beautiful as always, but something is missing. Snow probably. The landscape is still breathtaking but it so grey. “I am trying, okay. I told you I will go to as many competitions as I can.” “I know you are. That is not my point. My point is how I feel.” Now his eyes linger on me. “Let’s see how this weekend is going, okay? Maybe it isn’t too bad, and I decided to come to a couple competitions more.” Great now I pressured him. We both know it will be bad. Bad like when he drove me to practice one time and sat in the parking lot for over an hour and couldn’t move. Or when he wanted to come to the finale of summer grand prix but backed out last minute. “Sure.”
We arrive in Lillehammer with the awkward silence still haunting around. Barely a word was said in the last half hour. I pretended to be busy with team stuff. Daniel concentrated on driving. I almost sprinted out of the car when he parked in the parking lot of our team hotel for the weekend. “Am I seeing you again today?”, Daniel asks when he gets out of the car too. I put my backpack on, faced towards the other side of the car. “I don’t know. Robert is doing a team meeting, and he said that it probably gets late.” “Domen.”, he pleads. I turn around and take my boyfriend in. His hands are in his pockets and his forehand is creased. I take a moment to close my eyes and take a deep breath than I go to him. With a swift motion I wrap my arms around him. His familiar scent reaches my nose. I missed him so much but the thought of spending the night with him before the first competition is making me anxious. We will fight. I can feel it and I need to prepare. “I think I need the night to prepare for the weekend. Tomorrow will be better, I promise.” In the background I can hear a few cars. Maybe a team that is arriving. Maybe even my team. My boyfriend leans his forehead against mine. “Okay. But we speak tonight.” “Of course.” I kiss him softly. Kissing him feels always easy, even now when the tension is high. “I love you.”, he speaks almost silent. A car door gets slammed, and I hear Timi and Lovro fighting. “I love you too.”
“What are you doing here?”, asks Zak when I enter the meeting room. He is the first one in there and sitting at the end of the table. I shrug and let myself slid onto the chair next to him. “Figured it would be bad if I didn’t attend the first team meeting of the season.” The plan was that I would sort everything with my equipment out, check in my shared room with Lovro pro forma and then leave with Danny. Rob suggested that I can miss the team meeting and spent time with my boyfriend. I didn’t even have to ask. But now, after that tension in the car, I rather be here and listen to Robs boring presentation for the start the season.
Zak raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. He is more reserved. More like me but without the bad-temperedness. He likes the quietness and tries to stay out of the drama. I appreciate it. My other teammates will be all over me so it’s nice to have at least someone who is not annoying. I clear my throat. “I know it is kind of out of the blue but if the world cup circus ever gets too much or you need someone to have your back. I am there.”, I speak up and look to my younger teammate. Zaks eyes get big in surprise. “What?” “Okay I know that I sometimes look a bit unapproachable and everything, but I want you to know that I am not.” It is the first time ever that I offered something like that to my teammates. But it is something I would have liked to have. Everybody just assumed Peter would fill that role but even after it became clear that Peter wouldn’t be that person, nobody came to me and helped me. Well apart from Daniel. In hindsight I probably needed more help. More guidance even if I rejected it. I know that Zaks situations is vastly different than mine was, but I would still like to help him. Become someone he trusts with it because I feel like he could need someone. Sure, he could go to Anze, but he is always way to concerned. Sure Lovro, Timi and I are all roughly the same age, but they are so bubbly, and I have the hard experience they luckily mostly lack. “Thank you. I appreciate it. Really.” I nod to him and give him a small smile.
The door to the conference door opens and Anze and Timi enter. Anze pauses when he spots me. “What the hell are you doing here?” “Trouble in Paradise?”, adds Timi and smirks. I groan. “I am still part of this team. You should be more confused if I wasn’t here.” For a second time the door opens. “Has someone seen Domen or Daniel? Domen left all of his stuff, even his phone, behind.”, my roommate for the weekend barges in without even looking up from his phone. He probably already writes a text to Danny. Strangely Daniel is closest with Lovro. I thought he and Anze would hit it off in the half year he trained with us, but no. Lovros goofy attitude stuck with Daniel. “Relax you Idiot. I am here.” Lovro looks up confused. I can see the way he turns slightly to Timi and Anze to get their opinion. I also see the way they shake their heads. “Shouldn’t you be all over you boyfriend right now? I mean cool that you are here but the last week you have been miserable because Daniel wasn’t around. Now he is around, and you are here.” Lovro speaks fast while the other guys observe my reaction. Normally I would make a snarky remark now and the other would drop it. The others are aware of it too. Anze is concerned but he isn’t pressing like he would with Timi. But I promised Peter to try. Try bonding better with my team. I made the first step with Zak so why not try going further.
I sigh. “Daniel and I would fight if we spent the night together. So, I kind of fled and delayed the fight to tomorrow.” The second Timi opens his mouth, Robert and the co trainers come into the room. The conversation has to be delayed as well. Fitting.
Timi, Anze and Zak have no chance to ask me about the topic again. Rob accompanied us to dinner and even those guys know better than to speak about relationships while our coach just told us to focus. Lovro waits with the question until we are in our bed and just minutes away from turning the lights off. “What is the deal with Daniel?” I let my eyes shut for a few seconds and let myself fall onto my pillow. “It is kind of complicated.” “We have time Domen. I know you want to talk about it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said anything.” Its unfair that my colleagues can read my pretty well. But stuff like this happens when you spent more time with them than with your family. “Daniel is having a tough time. Like he doesn’t know what he wants to do after the retirement. The new environment and not that many contacts aren’t helping. And he barely can stand the thought about ski jumping because it still hurts so much. He still thinks it was the right decision but that doesn't mean that it isn’t hurting.”, I speak honestly. Peter would be proud of me. Argh. Can’t believe I follow his advice. “Do you think it was the right decision?” Lovro rolls onto his side to look at me. His phone long forgotten. “Yes. He wasn’t happy doing it anymore. He would have hurt himself doing it. It just he hasn’t got a plan, and he doesn’t want to speak about it. Also, he doesn’t want to come to competitions which sucks because I am so used with having him around here.” For the majority of my career Daniel was there. Even before we were together. Every world cup stop is plastered with memories. Like here in Lillehammer where we both purposely missed the train during raw air, and we get a whole night together. It was one of the first ones after we got together. “Seems like you are frustrated because you can’t help him. Must be hard on you too. Knowing he isn’t doing good but knowing you can’t fix it.” “I mean … Yes, I think. It is hard.” Lovro chuckles while I roll with my eyes. Of course he can’t stay serious. “Sorry it’s just that you just figured it out. Like obviously it is hard on you. Have you tried talking to Daniel?” I also turn onto my side and watch Lovro who looks at me with concern. “Of course, but I have to respect his decisions. How can I complain knowing it will hurt him if he comes to competitions?”
The real deal starts on Saturday. I don’t make the mixed team on Friday which I expected. So, Saturday is game day for me. I start the day with a light jog through the Norwegian forest. Normally I just run around without a certain destination. Today I have a set goal. It’s the gym of the Lillehammer ski club. Daniel is doing a training sessions with Maren Lundby for kids there. He was asked a few weeks ago and of course my boyfriend can’t say no to something like this. Yesterday he was a bit nervous about it but today he seemed exited. Me missing him overruled all the other bad feelings I had, and I spent the night in his hotel. Surprisingly there wasn’t a fight, but we avoided all of the hard topics. This morning, he already made plans which games to play and stuff.
I turn right and the gym is in my sight. Its not far from the hill, which is good since Rob is doing another team meeting today as a result of yesterday's bad mixed competition, and I have to be back at the hill in an hour. Hopefully Danny enjoys today, I think when I enter the building. In my mind I always thought that he would make a good kid’s trainer. Not that he wouldn’t be good a regular trainer. But the way he acts around kids and how he cares would make him an excellent trainer for young jumpers. He could be a good TV expert too. With his looks and his charming personality, he would certainly draw people to our sport.
Loud noises are already coming out of the gym. I don’t want to disturb the lesson, so I just look through the door. Danny is on the floor and is doing a few stretches with a bunch of kids. He has is back turned to me, but I can tell he is laughing. I let my hand run through my hair. Should I go in? I can’t just stand here for an hour. But I want to let Danny do his own thing without pressure from me. My boyfriend takes this decision from me when he stands up and scans the gym. His eyes immediately land on me. A smile is appearing on my lips. He really looks good here. You could almost say he glows. With a few fast steps he is by the door and opens it for me. Quickly I remove my headphones. “Hey. What are you doing here?”, he asks in amused voice. “Just wanted to see if everything is alright.” I step into the hall and already spot a few eyes on me. Those kids are ski jumpers of course they know me when they see me, but I am still surprised. Danny puts an arm around my torso. “I am glad you came. I probably won’t have time to wish you good luck for later.” He lets his gaze wander over the kids. “Do you want to join? The kids would love another world cup athlete as their coach.” For a short moment I am considering it, but this is Danny thing. I shake my head. “I have to be back at the hill soon.” He takes my hand and pulls me towards the kids. “But you have time for a few autographs, right?”
Half an hour later all the kids are equipped with autographs and pictures. “You seem so happy here.”, is the only comment I allow myself when Danny walks me back to the door. “Those kids are fun. Even you aren’t grumpy.” I roll my eyes. “See you after the competition?”, my boyfriend questions. I nod and give him a short hug. “Definitely.”
Timi, Anze and I are all going up the hill together. The perk of the first competition is that we jump in the order of last year’s world cup standings and relatively late. Tomorrow we will be probably jumping a lot earlier. Timi and Anze were both pretty bad and the mixed team and my form is even worse. “So much to a good start of the season.”, comments Timi when we see Zaks result in the elevator up the hill.
We arrive at the top of the hill and go into the waiting room. We prepare for our jumps. While Timi is focused, Anze and I let out our eyes wander around. Timi goes out first, a few seconds later Anze follows and lastly, it’s my turn. I nod at Anze and Timi when they go through the suit control. A sign that I wish them a safe flight. My gaze wanders downhill. Somewhere Daniel is standing. Is he looking or avoiding watching the competition? I close my eyes and breath. I need to focus, and I can’t focus if I think about Danny. So, I push him to the back of my mind.
It`s my turn to go onto the gate. The steps to prepare for a jump are a part of me. I don’t need to think about checking the binding. My subconsciousness is doing it alone. The ample turns green and Rob lowers the flag. Without any hesitation I let loose. My jump itself is okay. A bit late but manageable. Suddenly something feels odd. Very odd. I am losing the balance. Shit. The binding. Out of pure instinct I grab onto my ski. I don’t even know why. Never in my entire career I grabbed onto a ski mid-flight. But somehow its working and then I crash. The fall is probably much more minor than without my little stunt. Air is getting pushed out of my lungs when I collided with the hill and my heads slams into the snow. I don’t crash often but it’s plastered into the back of my brain that I should turn onto my back, so I do.
Daniel is my first cohesive thought. Gosh he is seeing this. He sees me fall. I come to a halt in the outrun. Paramedics are already there when I open my eyes. Daniel saw me fall. Daniel whose feats I just confirmed. “Please lay still. Can you tell my where you are? Are you feeling any pain?” “I need to let him know that I am okay.” The young paramedic looks at me like I am crazy. Not good if you just tumbled down a ski jumping hill. I shake my head and sit up. “Domen, right? We need to make sure you don’t have a spinal or head injury. Please lay down.” “I am in Lillehammer, and I just fell. My back hurts but its manageable. I probably have a concussion, but I need to get to my boyfriend.” Without waiting for answer I stand up. I am dizzy for a second, but it doesn’t matter. The audience is clapping when they see me walking. My eyes scan the people in the VIP area and in the chancing zone. Timi almost hangs over the railing. Anze behind him is giving my thumbs up which I recreate. Another cheer. “Daniel?”, I form silently. My oldest teammate signs with the head in the direction of the VIP tent. So, he didn’t stay to watch. He didn’t make sure I am okay. I feel like someone punched me. He isn’t waiting at the exit where the paramedic booth is. The young paramedic is catching up with me. He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Domen, we need to get you looked at. I am sure everyone is aware that you are okay.”
I let me guide to the blue booth where all the medical personnel is. It’s a quick examination. Just bruising and maybe a slight concussion. My team doctor comes in in the middle with my bag. I change out of my suit, and he assures the staff that he can take care of me. I am out of there in ten minutes. “Man, that was crazy. I never seen something like it.”, Matej, our team doctor, chats, when he follows me outside. “Domen.”, I hear a shaky voice. Daniel. He was leaning against the booth but walks over to me as soon as he was sure it´s me. Matej gives me a quick pad on the shoulder and then he disappears. My boyfriend lets his arms out as if he wants to hug me but stops. “Are you hurt?” His way of asking if he can hug me. I shake my head and cross my arms in front of me. “Where were you?” Daniel looks like he was hit. His eyes go wide. “I am sorry, but I need to get away. I felt like the world was coming down when I saw you tumble down the hill.” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline or something else, but I won´t pamper him right now. Not when I fell. Not when he should be taking care of me. “You felt like the world was crashing down? My first thought was you and that I had to make sure that you know I am safe. But you weren’t there. You didn’t come check on me.” My boyfriend makes a step into my direction, but I back off. “Domen.”, he pleads. “You needed a minute when I fell. I need a minute now.”
I leave him behind and go into the direction of the lift, but I don’t come far. “Domci.” Nika slams into me. “I am fine.”, I assure her and put my arms around her. She buries her head in my chest. “I was so worried when I saw the jump. I came down as quickly as I could.” I let my self take in the familiar scent and weight of Nika in my arms. Since she has become older the times when she really wants to hug me have reduced. So, I enjoy this one even if a fall was the necessary for it. Eventually she lets go of me. She looks around. “Where is Danny?” My face falls and I swallow hard. Is it bad that I suddenly feel the urge to cry? Nothing happened really. I am fine. Sure, my back hurts but it’s nothing. Daniel will come apologize and I will forgive him. But right now, everything feels too much. “Oh, he did not.” Nika gets the hint. She is fuming. “Can we go up? I want to get out of here as quickly as I can.” My little sister takes my hand and leads me to the lift. “Lucky for you Katra wants to explore the city with Tina, so my room is free.”
The hotel is pretty empty when we go into the lobby. Makes sense since most of the people that are currently living here, are at the hill. We share the same floor as the girls. Nikas room is just two doors down from mine. With quick motions my little sister opens the door. The first thing she does is get rid of her shoes and jump onto one of the two double beds. “How unfair! I have to share a bed with Lovro.” Although I am lucky with Lovro. Timi likes to cuddle when he sleeps. Anze usually doesn’t mind, and they tend to share a room. “Well, we are way more successful than you guys.” My phone rings. I know who it is even before I look. Daniel is trying to call me. My finger tense around the phone. I let him go to voicemail. It rings again. “Domen?” My little sister sits up in her bed and frowns. She pats next to her. “Sorry. Its just Danny.”, I explain while I sit down next to her. “I figured. So, what happened?” A sigh escapes me. I close my eyes and lean against the headrest. “Its dumb. I fell and he wasn’t there. I mean he was there but after I was checked out. In my mind he would come running to me. Meet me at the exit. Come with me while I get checked out. Hold my hand. But he wasn’t there.” My phone vibrates again. Just one short vibration. A message. A few seconds later a few more are coming.
Nika pulls me out of my thoughts when she leans her head on my shoulder. I try not to wince. My shoulder got a bit hurt during my tumble down the hill. “Did he explain why?” “He said he needed to get away. I mean, I get it. The fall triggered him. Ski jumping alone triggers him sometimes. But it was me, you know? I thought that it would be more important to him to check if I am okay.” The telephone rings again. I look on the screen and expect Daniels name like the two times before but its his mother. It could be just Daniel who tries a different approach knowing that I won’t hang up on his mom. If it is, it’s working. I shot Nika a apologetic look and take the phone call. “Hello.”, I say quietly. “Oh Domen. Are you alright? That fall looked nasty.” Trude Tande is one of the best people I know. She is so caring, and it doesn’t surprise me that she asked about me first and not give the phone straight to her son. “I am fine. Just a bit of bruising.” I hear a bit of Norwegian swear words. “Daniel is terrible worried.” “You can tell him I am with my little sister if that calms him down.” I bet Danny is standing next to her. Maybe he is even listing. “He is sorry, you know. He couldn’t. Its hard for him.” “Its hard for me too.” Nika raises an eyebrow. I shake my head. There is a pause from Trude. As if she didn’t really consider me before. Didn’t consider my feelings about the whole situation. Not just today. In general. “Look Trude. I promise I will call Danny today or I drop by his room. I just need a bit.” “I will let him know. Take care.”
“Was that his mom?” I nod and run my hands over my face. Nika considers for a second what she wants to do. She is Nika, my annoying little sister, so obviously she is going to press for more information, and I love her for it. Everyone else would let me be mad and lost in my head but not her. “It hasn’t been too good between you two recently, hasn’t it?” Slowly I rest my head on top of hers. “I mean when is life not hard? But recently it has been tougher.” “Why?” Nika seems genuinely confused. Sometimes I forget that she is only 19. Barely an adult. She is already extraordinary smart and brilliant at everything she does. But she barely lived the real life outside the ski jumping world. Maybe I should insist on doing more with her in our time off. “Can we talk about something else? I need a distraction.”
I spent the whole day in Nikas room. We watch a romcom that Nika wanted to watch for ages, then we gossip about old schoolmates and people we meet through ski jumping. By the time dinner arrives my back properly hurts from the fall, but I am not that mad anymore. “Thanks for being there.”, I say to my little sister before leaving her room. “No worries. We don’t spend enough time together anyway.” Quickly I hug Nika. “And we are definitely going to change that.” My sister lets go of me and looks at me for a moment. “Are you going to talk to Daniel now?” “I think I have no other choice. If I don’t call him today, he is going to storm the hotel.”, I joke but mean it. Daniel would knock on every door if he had to. “Then good luck.”, she speaks before she goes back into her room.
Its already dark outside when I find the courage to call my boyfriend. On my way to Lovros and my room the hotel suddenly felt too suffocating, and I wandered outside to a bench with view over the entry of the hotel. My boyfriend picks up the phone after the first ring. “Domen! Oh my god, finally! I am so sorry.” Hearing his voice feels good and bad at the same time. He was always the person that brought me calm and now the opposite is happening. I feel nervous about speaking with him. “Can we talk in person? I am outside of my hotel on a bench.” “Of course. I will be there in five minutes.” He hangs up and the silence is surrounding me again. I breath in the cold Norwegian air and suddenly I know what to do. The solution is as clear as the sky above me.
Daniel shows up in less than five minutes. His hair is hidden under a white hat, his hands are in the pockets of his thick coat. “Hey.”, he is the first of us to speak. “Hey.”, I repeat. He makes a step towards me and takes his hands out of his pockets. “Let’s go for a walk.” Without waiting for a response, I head into the Norwegian forest. I can hear his footsteps behind me. Faster than mine. Trying to catch up. “Okay listen, I am so sorry that I wasn’t there. If the roles were reversed, I would be angry as well, but you have to understand me. I thought for a second, I would lose you. I know you know that feeling and you can surely understand how terrifying this was.” Sharply I turn around to face him. We are already deep into the forest so that nobody can spot or hear us. I don’t feel bad when I get louder. “Understand how terrifying? It was terrifying when you were in a coma, and I had no information about how you were doing. Today was nothing in comparison. I was up on my feet in two seconds because I wanted to show you that I was fine so you wouldn't experience what I did. But you weren’t even there to make sure I was okay.” Daniel opens his mouth and closes it again. With a sigh I remove my beanie and let my hand run through my hair. “Listen I don’t want to fight about today. It felt shitty that you weren’t there, it still does. But we should talk about everything that lead to this and all the other stuff.”
“What do you mean?” I raise my head and look at the stars above us. Its kind off feels like the time we talked right before we got together. In Engelberg 2019. We were also outside of the hotel in the forest. There were no stars but a lot of snow. The naïve teenager me asked Daniel of all people about attraction and it quickly brought me to a lot of realizations. This also feels like a big conversation. But in a different way. “You are not doing okay. I let it slide because I thought you were just sad about retiring. Ever since the announcement you haven’t gotten better thought. It has gotten worse. From not be able to ski jump again to barely tolerating watching it is a huge way down.” Daniel bits his lip. Normally I would find it endearing but now it shows me how insecure he is. “I have to admit, I may be a bit more triggered about ski jumping than I thought I would. But now that the season is starting again, I will get in the groove again.” “And what if I fall again? Or one of your old teammates? I think you need help.” I close my eyes during the last part, so I don’t have to see his reaction. I can hear it though. He stays silent for a moment. “I will let you help me. I promise. I will talk about it more.” I can’t help the small powerless laugh. “I can’t help you. How? Ski jumping is my life. There is not a halfway for me to help you because I am too involved. And even if I could, I don’t think I have the strength to help you.” Daniel closes the distance between us. He is standing so close that I can feel his body heat and smell his perfume. I fight the urge to back off. “What do you mean?” A sad smile is appearing on my face. “The last months were hard for me, and you didn’t even realize it. Every time you were breaking down, I was breaking down. And it is so damn exhausting to try to get you to do something. I tried so hard to bring you joy and something that could be your next thing after ski jumping. But nothing worked. I can’t handle that you are just sitting in our apartment drowning in self-sorrow.” There is an audible gasp from my boyfriend. I let my head hang low. “What are you saying? Are you saying what I think you are saying?”, Daniel whispers. “I think you need to figure yourself out. I think you need to find something that brings you joy and that you can do after your career.” “But you don’t want to be a part of it?” I raise my hand to his cheek. “I want to be a part of it, but I can’t. Not for currently.” Now its Daniel who takes a step backwards. His throws his hands in the air. “So, you are breaking up with me? Because you can’t support me?” Sharply I shake me head. I didn’t consider how this would come over exactly. “No, I don’t want to break up. I love you; I would never suggest that we break up. It’s just that I think that we need a break. A break where you can start figuring out what to do. A break where I can concentrate on ski jumping without feeling guilty that I am prioritizing it over you.” Danny swallows hard. “A break?” “A break.”, I confirm. “Until you are doing better, and my job doesn’t trigger you anymore. Until I can support you again without feel exhausted.”
I can see how Daniels mind processes my words. “How would that even work? We life together.” “We are flying to Finland directly from here. After that I could move in with my parents or with my brothers if we still need time. Or you stay here with your family if you think it would be beneficial to be in Norway.” It physically hurts to speak about living separately again after the little time we had together but it would hurt more if we continued like this. Then maybe there wouldn’t be a relationship to safe. “And how will you know that I am ready? How will I know?” I shrug. “You call me, or I call you. It’s not like I want you out of my life, Danny. If you need me, I will still be there.” I take a step towards Daniel and reach my hand out for him. He takes it. Gently I pull him towards me and put my arms around him. For the last time in a while I take in his scent. “I love you, Daniel. This break won’t change anything about that. I will miss you horrible, but I think we would break if we continued like this.” “Okay. If this helps saving us, then okay.” He pulls me closer as if he is scared that I would disappear right now. “Can you say it too? So that I have something to hold on?” “I love you, Domen. We will get this fixed. I will get this fixed. I promise.” I can feel tears coming in and I swallow hard. “I love you. I really do.” With a heavy heart I press my lips onto his and then I leave.
#ski jumping#domen prevc#daniel andre tande#domiel#sj fic#*sighs heavily*#i am so sorry guys#but i kinda felt like it#this was inspired on the interview daniel gave in Lillehammer#and Domens bad form#there is atleast a bit of Nika in there#also i have a oneshot of them getting together ready#i am not really happy about but if you want i can upload it too#just let me know
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What are your favorite possessive!Dean/controlling!Dean moments from the show?
I love your writing so much by the way 🥰
Hii, thank you!! ♥
Canon isn't my speciality and these might be more possessive/protective but I gotta mention:
Season 1 Episode 16 - Dean opening up a little bit and admitting that he really wanted Sam back with him. All Dean wants is for Sam to be only his and always by his side.
Season 2 Episode 9 - one of my favorite quotes: “You make a move on him, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground” ugh yes please, nobody is allowed to touch him
Season 2 Episode 10 - Yeah, fuck Gordon, how dare he go after his Sammy
Season 4 Episode 13 - Dean being possessive and protective about Sam in High School? Fantastic, especially when they repeat the “gonna rip his lungs out”
Season 9 Episode 22 - “This is a dictatorship” Yeah you tell your little brother, how dare he not follow whatever you say!
Season 12 Episode 1 & 2 - Dean hated it so much that Sam was taken, ready to take on the world to get him back. Wish we could have seen him kill/torture that british bitch
And when we’re talking about controlling we can’t forget: Dean letting an angel possess his brother in order to save him (aka the ultimate rape metaphore) at the end of S8E23 just to let him get possessed by a demon just to get said angel out again in S9E10….
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It's so confusing in every single post-episode interview, Ewan kept saying Alicent was Aemond's cryptonite, his soft spot, etc., and then, after the season finale, Geeta revealed it was Helaena all along. I don't have a clue why in the first half of the season they were making us believe Aemond didn't care about his sister (his reaction to BnC was going to the brothel where he had a good time and bragged Daemon sending assassin after him, he never mentioned Jaehaerys and didn't even brother to attend his nephew's funeral). Some were even speculating Daemon's notorious vision of Alyssa was , in fact, a mirror image of Aemond's secret desire to have sex with Alicent , who he was supposed to be obsessed with. Do you think there is a chance Helaena's actually the closest person to Aemond, just like Geeta said?
i totally get the confusion tbh.
i will get boo'ed for this but i do personally think they lowkey retconned aemond in s2 and in the first half had to diminish his story and involvement in the story to make space for aegon's and to gain aegon some sympathy through the writing.
it makes zero sense that aemond wasn't involved in the b&c aftermath, both with helaena and the rest of his family. daemon is only brought up once by him in the brothel and nobody speaks of him in relation to b&c outside of that at all. aemond is made to talk exclusively of luke when his nephew was straight up killed horribly. the only thing b&c related we have of aemond is something that iirc ewan mitchell came up with himself. the coin that he finds in his room, the one he fiddles with during the council. ewan says:
“i wanted to just remember that everything that coin represents very much lives in aemond's head rent-free. the idea that daemon got this close, and ultimately aemond's nephew paid the ultimate price, that's something that does haunt aemond.”
unfortunately unless you're someone who likes to analyze, maybe go back and rewatch, are good with details, this is something that can easily be missed. we have nothing else tying him to b&c and it is so sad they erased him from this plotline.
then there's also of course having helaena easily brush off the circumstances of b&c and having a significant part of the b&c plotline focus on alicent: her sex scene and her guilt, which helaena easily forgives.
i do think aemond craves validation from his mother, and even more love than whatever he got, and i do think he's affected by alicent's actions and attitude to a degree, but i'm not sure i would call her his "cryptonite"
that being said i know ewan talked extensively about alicent. then again, he also talked about loyalty to his family and we knew that was something to throw off the audience during promo season considering what was coming for rook's rest.
i do think geeta is right in that aemond has deeper feelings for helaena. personally, i think he always had them. on one hand i feel like he always had romantic feelings for helaena and also the bitterness that comes with being a second son not being able to be the one who gets to marry the sister.
as for "the closest person".. it's hard. if we look at it overall, he obviously had more scenes with his mother, however we also see a huge clash between who his mother is and who he is. the closeness they had in season 1 is definitely slipping in season 2. the problem here i think lies in the writing consistency and the actual lack of scenes of both aemond and helaena. hotd uses aemond a lot for promo but when you look at his screentime... i mean.... and the way they used that screentime in the first part of season 2 is especially lacking.
and i agree with geeta that aemond and helaena are definitely closer than aegon and helaena. phia says she doesn't live a married live, that this marriage was just to please her mother and never thinking about herself, but we saw in season 1 that she and aemond are closer, something that should have naturally spilled into season 2 with the aftermath of blood and cheese and how that would affect both characters and their relationship, but like i said... i feel like it was retconned to make space for aegon's story before he would be burned in rook's rest.
it's also not just geeta saying that aemond and helaena have a closer relationship, but also ewan mitchell and phia saban. and we can see that culminate in episode 8 when it's clear helaena is the only person who can get that type of reaction out of aemond thus far.
but the writers are pretty bad at showing this on screen consistently and building it naturally and it's not just with aemond and helaena, but other dynamics and plotlines.
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idk if u still do supernatural but r u open to a fic of little sam and cg dean? (i dont ship them i just love the brother dynamic they got)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ not true ໒꒱ ⋆゚⊹
|| dean winchester & sam winchester
a/n: ofc I still do spn!! I still write for all the fandoms listed on my navigation post unless they’re crossed out
warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, set in season 1, rude people, protective dean, pet names talk of jess’ death/cg!jess

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Dean feels Sam's face tuck into his neck before he sees his brother walk over, Sam presses himself into Deans side so something is obviously wrong.
"Sammy?" He asks, turning on his feet to look at Sam's face, his eyes glisten with un-shed tears, nose sniffling after a second. Dean feels dread twist up in his gut, this hunt should be an easy salt and burn, they had come to this shop to ask a few routine questions about the owner who had died and since come back to haunt the place that his daughter now owns. Sam shouldn’t be upset or hurt at all.
"Hey, hey, sweetheart what’s wrong?” Deans hand comes to cradle Sam’s cheek before he can stop himself, he knows that Sam has slipped into his headspace, it’s written all over his face.
“Nothin’ just some guy.” He mumbles and a spike of anger flares in Deans chest. This is the fourth hunt in that past however many months that someone’s said something about Sam, whether it be about his “childish” behavior or the rambles he gives on cases that are too intricate for the local pd to understand. Both make Dean angry, protective, but the comments about how “clingy” or “young” Sam is really get to him.
His brother has been through a lot throughout his life, something that Dean is keenly aware of. The latest trauma is Jess dying, it had shook Sam to his core, just like when Mary died and John became a mess. But they’re working through it and Sam regressing has been helpful, it’s only four months into Dean finding out about the coping mechanism and yet he’s fallen comfortably into the role of a caregiver for Sam. A role that Jess used to fill, Dean is always sure to be sensitive when that comes up.
The last thing Sam should have to deal with is a bunch of assholes who have nothing better to do than poke fun at someone they don’t know. It gets to Dean in different ways than it does Sam, the older Winchester wants to hunt the people down and give them a piece of his mind, while Sam would rather Dean leave it and let Sam latch around him a little more than normal.
It’s how Dean finds his hand gripped tightly in Sam’s as they walk down the crooked sidewalk back to the Impala, thankfully not wearing suits as he’s sure it’d be an odd sight for anyone passing by. It’s not a long walk by any means but Dean can feel his mind spiraling the more Sam squishes against his side, whatever was said must’ve been bad, really bad.
“Hey it’s okay Sammy, it’s just us now.” Dean assures as soft as he can. Sam’s staring up at him from where his head is rested on Deans side, his body halfway slid down the bench of the impala so he can be smaller than Dean. It’s something Dean noticed almost immediately, Sam always slumps himself down or curls his shoulders in when he’s regressed, just trying to shrink himself to be physically tinier.
“Can you tell me what they said? You don’t have to but if I know I might be able to help more.” There’s a low rumble as Dean drives down the road, now thankful that their motel is just outside of town and not in the middle where they could run into more rude people.
“I- I was just asking questions about the girl we’re trying to help but this- this guy came in and started to say stuff about how nobody like me could really help her.” He sniffles through the explanation and Dean has to focus half his energy on not turning around to go tear that guy a new one. It’d do no good, sure it’d satisfy him, but Sam would still be upset and probably even more so knowing Dean got into a fight because of him, despite none of it ever being Sam’s fault. The kids got a heart of gold that people love to prey on.
“That’s not true, it will never be true Sammy. You are an amazing hunter and anyone would be lucky to have your help.” The compliments fire off in instinct, of course Sam’s a good hunter, of course he’d be the person you’d want to get help from, Deans never thought anything different.
“But—.” Dean shakes his head firmly, glancing down at Sam’s soft face and hand gripping at the t-shirt Dean has on, Dean wishes he could stay like this forever. Just them, safe, in Baby, only worrying about each other.
“But that guy was a jerk and you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Now c’mon we’ll order something and watch cartoons.” A tired but full smile spreads on Sam’s face as they both tumble out of the car, Dean already holding his hand out for his brother and a plan forming in his head for what they can do once this hunt wraps up, they could both use a little tlc in Deans opinion.
#jj writes#supernatural agere#caregiver!dean winchester#little!sam winchester#sam & dean#dean winchester#sam winchester
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A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #1
Here I'll be yapping about different things I've noticed from Polin's Story in the Bridgerton Series. Don't know how many parts this will be, but here goes the first!
Colin's Fake Persona
Most of us (with media literacy) realize that the Colin when see in the beginning of season 3 is not the real Colin. He has traveled and returned to the Ton with this new personality to try and fit into society and the other men.
Many have stated that this is because he acts this way (flirting, brothel visits, etc) because he is simply mimicking the actions of the other gentleman and his own brothers. This all makes sense and it is a very good take, but then I took a deep dive and came up with this.
What if the reasoning behind this new Colin is actually because of Pen and what happened last season.
Let me explain:
We learn from Colin that Pen didn't respond to his letters while he was away despite him constantly writing to her. It is never really mentioned or inferred that he stopped writing to her due to her non replies, so it seems like he had hope that she would respond one day.
Now, we know that Pen and Colin have always remained in touch whenever he was gone away based on previous seasons, which meant that he always had Pen to rely on to share his adventures with through his letters and still had a piece of home with him by reading her letters.
Fast forward to him returning this year and despite this new personality he still seeks out Pen. When he greets his family, he instantly looks around for Pen because she has always been there with his family when he returned in the past. Once he realizes she's not there, he glances over towards her house, as a reflex.
Then at the debutante event he seeks her out again and when he finds her can't wait to see and talk to her. In his mind, he thinks everything is okay and they'll jump right back into their old friendship.
But then she keeps their conversation short and he realizes that something is different with Pen. At this point he thinks it is from whatever is going on between Pen and Eloise, which could also not be helping the case, but isn't really the main reason.
Then we see their next interaction at the ball and once again, Colin seeks her out. He notices her when she walks in and even looks towards her direction once more even after everyone else has moved on. He again, notices that she leaves and is upset, despite being surrounded by the Fife and his friends and trying to keep up with the persona, he has to check on Penelope.
It's in this moment he finds out about why Pen is upset with him and as soon as he realizes this, that previous act, falters and he wishes to make things right, but Pen won't have it and walks away.
It's looking back at his words in this moment mixed with what we learn from his journal entry and just the overall arc of his character in these four episodes that got me thinking.
We hear from Colin that he missed Pen because she never responded to his letter. He missed their connection, their friendship, their conversation, his feeling of home, etc. So, while on his travels, he decided to seek out such a connection in the only way he knew how and that was by taking on the rake persona because that's the only gentlemen experience he knew.
I mean think about it, he was very young when his father died and we don't really know if Edmund had his own rakish days since he and Violet fell in love so young, so he only has his brothers to look up to as well as the rest of the rake bros in the ton.
Yet, we also know despite him taking on this new personality and action, he never did find that connection or fill the longing he was feeling from missing Penelope. The only reason why he keeps up with this act for so long is because he finally was feeling accepted by everyone, even his own family, so he felt like this was who he was supposed to be.
But when he realizes that what he feels for Penelope isn't just platonic love or feelings, he slowly starts to take off the mask and become the person he really is because Penelope accepts him.
Honestly, there is more I could say about this one topic, but this is already long enough. Ha
P.S. I will add that I really would love a prequel about Violet and Edmund. I know that Julia Quinn doesn't want to write it because of Edmund dying, but I still think Shonda and Netflix could do a similar spin off like Queen Charlotte where it's not their whole story, just the beginning. I definitely think Colin is similar to Edmund and it would be lovely to see any parallels between Edmund/Violet and Colin and Penelope 's love story.
#bridgerton#colin bridgerton#colin x penelope#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton s3#penelope featherington#polin#polin bridgerton#penelope x colin
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