#after season 1 nobody was writing about the brothers

[geekynotfreaky]

The Front Man's Worldview

I posted this Front Man analysis on Reddit the other day and it didn't get much traction, so I thought I'd post it here too!

Squid Game Season 2 spoilers below the cut.

(And yes, proper capitalization, because this shit's serious!)

While watching season 2, I had the basis for the rivalry between Gi-hun and the Front Man simplified into the following: the Front Man believes in peoples' inherent flaws, whereas Gi-hun believes in peoples' inherent capacity for good. But there's a lot more to it than that!

This article recently got me thinking about how interesting In-ho's worldview is: https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/squid-game-season-2-lee-jung-jae-lee-byung-hun-spoiler-breakdown-1236258362/.

"In-ho is a character that no longer has belief or hope in the outside world. So it��s almost like he has nowhere to go, because that is not really a world that he feels like he’s a part of anymore."

The Front Man has no hope in the world and feels almost completely disconnected from it. So he clings to the games because the world outside is dire and beyond saving, and the world of the games just makes more sense to him than the world outside. This explains his spiel about fairness and equality in season 1. Under this perspective, it’s true everyone who plays the games is given one last chance to "fight fair and win." Because there is zero hope for them in the outside world, whereas the world of the games is a world of opportunity.

Granted, the rules of the game are not entirely fair OR just, but it's a system that makes more sense than the world outside of it. Knowing the Front Man's backstory as In-ho, you might say the real world disappointed him so much he had to become the leader of his own world.

"In the process of these really grueling and violent games, his feelings faded. Feelings of hope and joy are long gone in the In-ho you meet in Season 2."

Similar to Gi-hun (and they do seem to be foils of one another), the trauma of playing through the games and winning contributed to his shattered worldview. Notably, though not discussed in the article, they both also lost someone close to them despite winning the games (for Gi-hun, his mother; for In-ho, his wife and unborn child).

In-ho is so cold-hearted and impassive as we know him in the present day...he has no joy, no hope. He is what Gi-hun has the potential to become. Throughout season 2, when he’s not putting on that act as Young-il, he's often staring into space with a sort of deadness in his eyes. There’s zero warmth there, and the betrayal in the end serves to remind the audience of that. And yet!

"You do find him almost momentarily enjoying the situation. And I think this is just a very small glimpse of his past self.”

...there are moments where he DOES seem to be genuinely enjoying himself, like during the relay race. And as the article explains it, these moments are like little, miniscule glimpses of his past self. So when he's having a laugh throwing that spinning top incorrectly (three whole times with his non-dominant hand, just for fun), is that something the In-ho of the past would’ve enjoyed? Playing a little joke without the others knowing? How much of that tiny light in his eye is just a remnant of something that has long since faded?

The fact Lee Byung-hun paid such deliberate attention to the details of his character really makes season 2 all the more interesting to watch! Every scene with him in it is captivating because you’re almost forced to scrutinize every aspect of his behavior in order to figure out who he is at that moment: is he the cold and cunning Front Man, the supposedly innocent Young-il, or his true self Hwang In-ho? And that's what makes him my favorite character!

[phantomrose96]

Actually I'm so incredibly lucky to have The Silt Verses because it gives me the kind of character dynamics I desperately love and so very rarely find.

I am an ABSOLUTE sucker for characters who go "I will move heaven and earth for you. I will be driven to both great and terrible decisions for your sake because of how I am defined by you" but I do... NOT... care about romance. I Don't Care About Romance. I don't want it. I don't relate. My immersion hits a cliff there. I'm an aromantic Character Enjoyer and I do not care about shipping at all.

So as you can imagine, it's a challenge to find "I will do everything for you" character dynamics which, if not canonically romantic, end up being ships that get treated like canon if you try to talk about the characters in fandom spaces.

I am incredibly drawn to sibling media and I think it's largely because that's the primary way I've found these dynamics and they don't get treated as "come on it's basically a canon romance" by the main chunk of the fandom. I'm an FMA enjoyer, a Gravity Falls enjoyer, an Over The Garden Wall enjoyer--fuck I'm a Supernatural enjoyer, for this reason. Do you know what that's like? When Supernatural gets you because you're so hungry?

And then... The Silt Verses... Filled, FILLED, with these "I will move heaven and earth for you" kinds of dynamics--healthy, unhealthy, as sources of hope and sources of absolute destruction. Of course I'm here for it. Of course I'm clocked in.

But it SHOULD be hopeless for me. I mean the only actual sibling dynamics are just within backstories--Carpenter and her brother Em. Faulkner and his brother Charlie. Hayward has no siblings. Paige's aren't relevant. Faulkner and Carpenter have exactly this intense dynamic I love--same with Paige and Hayward--and then Hayward and Carpenter--and I should be taking the L because this always ends in ships.

But Jon Ware and Muna Hussen--who I owe my life to--very intentionally did not do that. Carpenter is aromantic. She gets to be that canonically. There's never a hint of romantic tension between her and Faulkner. When they call each other brother and sister, it's religious formality first, and then it's an actual found-sibling kind of bond.

Hayward and Paige, in like any other media, would have been a couple. The way they save each other, and lean on each other, and leave their old selves behind to become someone new together. It's obvious. I've seen it a million times. But when Jon Ware got asked in a Q&A about what Paige and Hayward -are- to each other ... look I just need to go with direct quotes to do the answer justice

I think maybe there’s also an implicit question there about whether there’s something romantic going on – maybe I’m reading into it, but that is something that’s on my mind a lot, so I’d love to talk about it more. ... I personally, I don’t like writing fictional characters where the most important moment in their narrative arcs is when they get together with the person they were always meant to get together with. ... And again, I think [give the people what they want] can send you in the wrong direction, one that ends up being essentially flattening – we don’t think, "if these characters hook up, OK, what new opportunities does that give us to explore them, to understand them in greater depth?" ... And after we released maybe one episode of The Silt Verses, I saw a couple of folks online going ‘oh, god, I hope this isn’t going to end with Carpenter and Faulkner hooking up,’. And you go, "oh my god, I hadn’t considered that as a possibility for a second, that’s not who they are and that’s not what the relationship is here" - but of course all of us are primed for it, that enemies-to-lovers thread that is so common. ... Because it was freeing because after Season 1, nobody is expecting or hoping that Hayward gets together with anybody. No-one wants that particularly!

And Shrue and Val come along... each of whom has intense interactions and kinds of relationships with the people they encounter but, still, no romance. And nothing among the high katabasians or the adjudicators. If there WAS any kind of romantic read with Rane toward Faulkner, it does nothing to overshadow what was happening there. I liked someone's likening it to Lady Macbeth and Macbeth. The Thing going on between them can't really be reduced to shipping.

We DO even get the family-related bonds and trauma I usually lean on. Paige with her dad. Faulkner with his dad. Carpenter dealing with the trauma of her Nana and brother. Shrue left in harrowing limbo about the safety of their (maybe non-existent) children and husband.

Anyway I didn't even mean this to be so long. I'm just so blessed and lucky to have character dynamics where they're screaming and sobbing each other's names and no one is pulling the "There's no platonic explanation for this" card. I'm so glad.

[mybabysittersnotavampire]

My *made up* season 3 episode list and what each episode would be about and a quote from each episode

1 • Dusker Back From the Dead

(The title is a mix of both the season 1 and season 2 first episodes) Ethan and Benny use the Cubile Animus to bring Sarah back from the dead using Vice principal Stern as their sacrifice.

“Can you two stop referencing stupid movies and figure out how to get me out of here!” -Sarah

2 • The Date to (re)Start all Dates

Ethan struggles to plan out the perfect date for him and Sarah, afraid to mess it up he tries to make contact with Jesse to give him advice, but things take a turn for the worse when he finds himself stuck in the limbo dimension.

“Doesn’t feel so great to be trapped in limbo now does it.” -Jesse

3 • Della’s Vengeance

(idea partially by @comicbookddr)

When Della finds Benny’s missing spellbook she decides to use it against him as revenge. Making Benny discover she is also a spellmaster.

“Looks like you’re not the only spellmaster at our school” -Ethan

“…well this is just great..” -Benny

4 • Out of this World (inspired by alien candy)

When a new club forms at Whitechapel High, Rory and Benny find the members suspicious and begin to investigate them, nobody believes them until Ethan has an encounter with the club’s leader and finds out that the club is made up of aliens planning on invading their school.

“Rory stop worrying, they are not going to probe you.” -Ethan

5 • Sleepover Seance

When Jane is hosting a sleepover, the girls venture into the basement after watching a scary movie, wanting to have fun of their own they bring out 'Spirit Speaker'. But it isn't a ghost this time, a sleep demon comes out to play.

"How are they all asleep already?" -Rory

6 • Down the Wishing Well

Sarah discovers the local legend that there is an enchanted wishing well in Whitechapel that grants any wish, but at a cost. When she wishes to be human again, the evil spirits of the well possess her.

“I call on the spirits of this wishing well, I wish to be human again.” -Sarah

7 • Jedi’s Anonymous

When Erica finds herself going back to her old geek self, she joins an online chat room anonymously and starts flirting with another user, she decides to meet up with him in real life and discovers she had been talking to Benny the entire time.

“I’ve been talking to you idiot the entire time?!” -Erica

8 • Living Dead Girl

Rory falls six feet deep for the new girl in town. Although the boys quickly realize something isn’t as it seems when she appears in a yearbook over decades old.

“Well if she’s looking for brains, she definitely chose the wrong one..” -Ethan

9 • The Return of Betty & Veronica

Stephanie creates a golem to go to Whitechapel for junior year seeking vengeance. Betty and Veronica are back on the scene, Rory finds out the truth about Betty.

“These underwear are riding up my butt again” -Ethan

10 • Knights of Ninjitsu

Ethan is having trouble writing a fanfiction to send into his favorite game company as part of a contest. When he runs out of ideas he asks Benny to use a spell that gives him more ideas, Benny accidentally uses the wrong spell, trapping Ethan inside of a video game/his computer.

"Benny, do NOT open zombie stomper." -Ethan

11 • Jane’s Vision

When Jane snoops through her brother’s closet she discovers Ethan’s stash of items from their past enemies. The supernatural power radiating from it all makes Jane develop visions early.

12 • The Princess Leia to my Han Solo

Erica realizes that she has feelings for Benny but on her way to tell him she realizes he’s on a date with another girl. He soon finds out his new date isn’t what she seems.. (he finds out she’s a gorgon)

“That should be my geek out there!” -Erica

13 • The Fog is Coming

Grandma Weir senses another dark force coming and warns the boys, while doing so Ethan’s parents overhear, discovering all of him and his friend’s supernatural secrets, trying to keep Ethan from getting hurt they ground him from leaving the house. Will they stop the evil force coming to Whitechapel?

****************************************************

Anyways thanks for reading I know a lot of the titles probably sucked but they were so hard to come up with ok so go cry to your mother if you don’t like them

[bitchlessdino]

Our Bitchless Masterlist VOLUME II

Favorites (🍬) Popular (🍭) Porn W/O Plot (😈)

Seventeen

scream your heart out (m) 🍬

[fem!reader x seventeen (???)] you and your friends get caught up in a classic horror slasher movie, only it's in real life. Now you're off to fend for yourselves in Seungcheol's million dollar home. The question is, did you keep them out, or did you just lock them in?

SEUNGCHEOL

nobody's home (m)

(neighbor male nanny!seungcheol x afab maid!reader)Seungcheol and you have never crossed paths for long, but boy have you imagined it. Too preoccupied with your jobs working for some of the richest families in the city, you've sacrificed your grueling hours when you could've been fucked your brains out all this time. However, big risks come with big rewards when the holidays arrive. Then there's nobody home to stop you.

JEONGHAN

boo-ty call (m) ft. seungkwan

(perverted ghost!jeonghan x cute neighbor!seungkwan x afab!reader) As far as unwanted roommates go, your ghostly companion was one you never anticipated. But when this specter began to assert himself and meddle in your dating life—or lack thereof—you started to reconsider your stance; maybe having a roommate wasn’t so bad after all. Especially if he's helping you get laid.

JOSHUA

stolen entries (m)

(fem!Reader x stalker!joshua) Diary entries of a man in love. Joshua knew he loved you the moment he laid his eyes on you and had to have you, even if it meant enduring the echoes of every intimate detail of every sexual encounter you’d had before him. But he knew you were worth the wait. He was worth the wait.

JUNHUI

Would you like a receipt? Pt. 1 Pt. 2

(Childhood bf!junhui x working class gn!reader) Coming across a grade school ex-boyfriend while you worked a shitty seasonal job around Valentines was not in your 2024 bingo card.

SOONYOUNG

WONWOO

pane-ting you a picture (f)

(wonwoo x gn!reader) Snow is beautiful—when you’re not trapped in it. After days of relentless snowstorms that left your family without electricity—let alone entertainment—you found an unexpected refuge: sketching on the condensation of your windows. What began as idle doodles soon turned into shared exchanges with someone in the neighboring cabin. Though you don’t know who they are or even what they look like, the icy walls and snow couldn’t keep them out your head.

JIHOON

SEOKMIN

Civil Affairs (m)

(husband of mistress!seokmin x fem married!reader) With the mutual understanding being cheated on, Seokmin finds solace in you, the beautiful stranger with ties to man that ruined his marriaged, Fortunately, light peeks out of the most inconvenient of circumstance.

MINGYU

reckless (m)

(Adult actor!mingyu x pervert afab!reader) Mingyu is a camboy and proud of it, as he should. Finally, he's getting the applause he deserves for his work and will be attending one of the biggest adult industry events to date. He just needs you to watch over while his house while he's gone. Easy enough, right? Unbeknownst to him, you happened to be a fan. A big one. One so big that you cant help but take advantage what Mingyu fans have only ever dreamed of.

MINGHAO

SEUNGKWAN

put it in writing (m)

(college student!seungkwan x Fem!TA!reader) You keep things professional--as you should--even if one of your students is someone you hooked up with one night before the college semester started. Meanwhile, Boo Seungkwan is anything but honest--he's a writer after all--but if he is honest about one thing, it's about wanting to write a new story with you.

boo-ty call (m) ft. Jeonghan

(perverted ghost!jeonghan x cute neighbor!seungkwan x afab!reader) As far as unwanted roommates go, your ghostly companion was one you never anticipated. But when this specter began to assert himself and meddle in your dating life—or lack thereof—you started to reconsider your stance; maybe having a roommate wasn’t so bad after all. Especially if he's helping you get laid.

VERNON

CHAN

Like I can (m)

(Older woman!reader x ex’s younger brother!chan)

mind your business (m)

(Frenemy!fem!reader x minder reader!chan) If Chan had to read anyone’s mind, it had to be yours—the one person who seemed to loathe him with every ounce of your being. But before Halloween day, when that wish is suddenly granted, he begins to realize he’s opened a can of worms far bigger than he ever imagined—one that can’t be sealed shut again.

[mandaplease10]

A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #6

Show Polin Vs. Book Polin Part 1

I have seen a lot of fans upset over the way the showrunner/writers handled Polin's story in comparison to the book version. Of course, we're always going to compare because it's a given. However, I'm a little shocked on how so many are complaining about it when their story was never really true to the books to begin with.

The biggest differences are their ages and time frame & their relationship prior to getting together.

In the book, both Pen and Colin are like a decade older than their characters in the show & they didn't really have a friendship before getting together either. The book is very much a best friend's brother's trope.

In the show, they're teenagers and have an established friendship meaning it's a true friends to lovers trope.

Let's take a deep dive and compare their stories and why the show handled it differently.

Show Polin: Ages

So, obviously the fact that they are teenagers/early 20's in the show means that they would not have the same level headedness as an adult. Both Pen and Colin are trying to find themselves and their purpose in life.

Colin very much feels like he has to be like Anthony & Benedict in order for them to take him seriously. They have always seen him as the little brother who tries to hard and doesn't think. He feels like he has to be someone he isn't because most people don't care about him truly being himself because every time he does he is talked down to and treated like he's too young to know what he wants. No one cares about his travels and no one even bothers to respond to his letters, which then makes him wonder if he's even wanted by his family.

Pen is tired of being the laughingstock of the Ton and in her own family. The only minuscule of happiest she gets is her time with Eloise and the Bridgertons & when she is writing her column. After her sisters are married and she's faced with living with her mother as a spinster, she is determined to get out of the house and get married, even if it isn't to the one person she wants. She still has the self esteem of a young naive girl, so she must learn how to grow her confidence into the clever, beautiful woman she is.

Book Polin: Their Ages

Colin has spent the majority of his teens and twenties traveling and being away from home. He has seen the world and has lived a well experienced life. We really don't get much of how he's feeling in regards to his life or how he felt over the years.

Pen has lived with her mother this whole time and as given up on the marriage mart. She's happy with living as a spinster and has created an empire with Lady Whistledown. She is super close with her younger sister and Eloise and doesn't seem to have the same initial longing as show Pen when it comes to marriage.

Show Polin: Friends to Lovers

In seasons 1 & 2, we see Pen and Colin's friendship blossom and grow into a very close relationship. I would even say that their friendship was closer than Pen and Eloise just because they both seemed to really listen to the other and offer support. We see the way that Colin is there for Pen when Cressida teases her and with Featherington Scheme in season 2. We also know that their letters to each other are meaningful and Colin started viewing her in a different light when he came back in season 2. Being with each other means they both can talk about anything that they couldn't with others because no one else bothered to take the time to listen.

Book Polin: Best Friend's Brother

We don't really see a relationship with Pen and Colin in the books other than Pen being Eloise's friend and a close friend to the family. It's mentioned that there were times Pen and Colin danced at Balls together, but it was purely at the request of Mama Bridgerton. There were no letters exchanged between them.

**

This is going to be multiple parts because it's gonna be a long one.

Stay tuned for part 2

Falling in Love

Lady Whistledown Reveal

Wedding & Aftermath

Part 3

Cressida's Blackmail

Love Confession

Epilogue

Part 4

How all of these changes affected the way the show storyline was written versus the book version.

Also, let me know if there are any other comparisons you want that I haven't thought to include.

[wizardsnorlax]

Ok so actually writing to get to the parts in the bullet points is harder than I anticipated, especially on mobile but I do have a bunch of ideas that I need to get out, here's the first post for anyone who hasn't seen it

After Uni Jon starts working at The Institute because he's desperate for evidence of the Paranormal

He becomes one of the hardest working people in the Research department

Sasha becomes the Archivist and requests Tim as an assistant but she also gets Martin and Jon because Elias insists she needs more hands to help with organizing

She does NOT like either of them

She views Martin as incompetent and while Jon is surprisingly good at follow up, his refusal to use a ladder causes more chaos than she believes he's worth

Prentiss bullies Jon instead of Martin and the knocking sends him into such a severe panic that Michael shows up

Jon gets dropped face first into the Archives

Cue Martin finally connecting the dots that this is the same scrunkly little gremlin from childhood

Martin offers to let Jon stay with him but Jon is so worried about taking up space in Martin's flat that he declined

Season 1 events continue mostly as Canon but with Tim learning the extinguisher trick

Tim still loathes The Circus because while Jon and Martin's childhoods are different, Tim still has a dead brother

Instead of the worm attack happening because Jon saw a spider, Sasha catches Jon climbing the shelves and her scolding him so suddenly makes him lose footing

Not!Them remains bound to the table for Season 2 events

Breekon and Hope take the table at one point

Sasha+Tunnel=finding evidence of old man

Sasha becomes convinced that Jon is gunning for her position, Tim starts thinking Jon is sketchy ™️

Michael "bullies" Jon and it makes the poor guy feel worse than when he was a kid nobody believed

Jon's joints are a bit more flexible than usual, it's probably nothing

Tim is increasingly worried about Sasha's new obsession and becomes super paranoid about Jon's reactions but Jon is genuinely interested in Sasha's exploration and not so secretly wishes he could go in with her

Jon takes several convenient lunch breaks whenever the cops are in the Archives (he has a massive record of trespassing and B&E lol)

Jon was taking a nap in a spot that doesn't get checked when he witnesses the brutal pipe murder, gives Sasha Georgie's address so she can be safe

Sasha goes through the season 3 ringer

Martin spends a lot of time protecting Jon from the cops because he's the second highest suspect

Anyway, I might have more later but this is the easiest way to get things out while I try to get things into plain fanfic format

[pico-farad]

This Time on Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains Analysis: How the Fuck Did Aoi's Writing Get Worse

Got sidetracked by GX Week, but I'm back to talk about Aoi again, because oh boy...

So for season 1, I'd heard the rumors of how they screwed her over, and they were mostly in line with the ways I expect Yugioh female characters to be failed by the writers. Overall I still liked Aoi and, while I found some decisions distasteful, I didn't think the actual quality of her writing was worse than other characters'.

Aoi's writing in season 2 is several times worse than it was in season 1. It's truly a disaster, amateurish and baffling, in a way that I think most viewers don't even consciously realize. And while it may not be the worst moment in Yugioh -- it is, in my opinion, the worst writing I've ever seen in Yugioh.

Anyway, that's how I wrote 4k words descending into Aoi madness. Enjoy!

---

Before I begin, a fair warning: I'm gonna say some harsh things in this post. Because being mean is funny, and I deserve it after what I just watched.

But I also want say up front that I don't think the Vrains writers are bad writers, and I still have respect for them. Writing for children's television is grueling work that I could never do, and there are many reasons why bad art is released into the world besides simple writing skill. Vrains clearly had a troubled production, and I have other suspicions about why it turned out the way it did. If there's interest, I think that could be its own post, too.

Also, I refer to the "writers" in this post when I criticize Vrains's storytelling, but to be clear, directors, producers, storyboarders, and others can have just as much influence over the show's story as writers, or even more so. I use the term writers for convenience's sake.

Without further ado...

⇀ Losing My Mind Immediately

Akira lets Aoi go into the restricted area, which nobody has ever returned from.

Ahem... WHO ARE YOU??? Why is Akira, overprotective onii-san numero uno, extremely willing to put his sister on house arrest for her own safety, has never given Aoi his permission to fight, suddenly letting her go off into a danger zone with a 0% survival rate, right after she lost to Spectre immediately in the Tower of Hanoi conflict.

Oh, so now you think she's capable? Why???

Not only that, they make Ghost Girl be the one to say it's too dangerous for her. What?? Ghost Girl is the one who encouraged Aoi to sneak out and into the danger zone in season 1. These are literally the last two characters who would say these things to Aoi.

Then, when they enter the restricted area, Aoi immediately gives up her emergency logout program to an NPC. Normally I'd brush this off. Naivety being used to emphasize female characters' moral virtuosity is passé, but it's not a big deal. It wouldn't be, if the next 30 seconds didn't make me completely go off the rails. This is the speech that is possibly the worst writing, line by line, that I have ever seen in Yugioh.

Roll the tape...

Aoi: Recent events have taught me that I'm still a child. I took on Hanoi for my brother, but look how that turned out. I troubled everyone, and they needed to save me. I was full of myself, thinking I can do anything on my own, but in truth, the world is full of people and we're all connected. Everyone saved me. So this time, I want to save everyone. I'll become stronger, so this time, I'll do everything I can!

Literally none of these sentences make sense... Half of them aren't even true. It reads like ChatGPT asked to write a shonen speech -- the facade of being inspiring, but ultimately empty and nonsensical.

"I took on Hanoi for my brother," This is blatantly false. She had a whole goddamn episode focused on why she decides to fight Hanoi, it's her duel with Baira, and it's specifically about how she's not doing this for her brother, she's not doing this for herself, she's doing this for everyone. If anything, she disregards her brother in order to fight Hanoi.

Blue Angel: I learned something from my duels. When people believe in you, you're fighting for everyone. So I will fight for everyone from now on!

Sound familiar? It's the same goddamn thing she's saying right now, "this time, I want to save everyone." Why are they framing this as Aoi having a new realization, having learned her lesson? What they demonstrate with this is that Aoi hasn't learned her lesson. The reason she lost to Spectre is because trying to save everyone includes trying to save him, and he takes advantage of her naivety.

Blue Angel: You're the same as me... When you were alone, you sought love, and Blue Angel's blue is the ultimate love! Blue Angel will descend into your heart, and save your soul! Spectre: Really? *bows mockingly* Please, then, save my soul!

Naively trying to save others is exactly what she's doing right now, by thoughtlessly giving away her emergency logout in a place that nobody has ever returned from. Her character has gone completely backwards. I said in my last post that losses are good because we get to see characters grow -- I stand by the opinion that they could have made the Spectre loss work -- but they've bungled it on three different levels. She loses horribly, then they retcon her reason for losing, in order to make her character regress.

Apparently, the real reason Aoi lost to Spectre, is because "she was full of herself, thinking she could do anything on her own." I'm so mad. First of all, Aoi clearly wasn't acting on her own and never thought she was, Go and Yusaku were both fighting Hanoi too. Why are they acting like Aoi lost because of hubris?

You know who thought he could do everything on his own? Yusaku. But clearly he didn't need to learn that "the world is full of people and we're all connected." He clearly believed the opposite, because he did everything by himself and tried to reject allyship at every turn and yet lo and behold, he hasn't lost a single duel.

"Everyone saved me. So this time, I want to save everyone." NO, LITERALLY ONE PERSON SOLO'D HANOI, AND EVERYONE ELSE DID JACK SHIT. This resolution that Aoi comes to not only regresses her character, but it makes no goddamn sense. Who is the everyone you're talking about, Aoi? Are they in the room with us right now?

Who am I kidding, it's obvious who the "everyone" is, because as she says it, the clip that plays is Akira's manpain as Aoi gets turned into data. Because even in this moment that has nothing to do with Akira, the writers cannot resist bending Aoi's character to revolve around how much she loves her beloved onii-san, even though it makes no sense in this context of trying to save a random NPC. 

Frankly, the whole "everyone saved me" also makes no sense in the context of trying to save a random NPC. But like, even less sense than that, because the actual context of this "heartfelt" shonen speech is that she's trying to get Ghost Girl to give up her emergency logout button. Ghost Girl, established to be self-serving and willing to throw others under the bus to advance herself. Why does this speech convince her? It doesn't even have anything to do with her.

Great, so now not only have they botched Aoi's character, but for the rest of the show, Ghost Girl is stripped of the characteristics that actually made her engaging.

If they wanted Aoi to convince Ghost Girl to give up her escape program and become more selfless, it's simple. Have her say, "We saved you." Ghost Girl wouldn't be standing here right now, if Aoi and the others hadn't risked everything to save everyone.

There's more I could pick on about these 30 seconds, like how the writers aren't content with handing Aoi a humiliating loss, but they also make her act like she deserved to be "humbled" by that experience: "Recent events have taught me that I'm still a child," "I troubled everyone, and they needed to save me." It's like they're not content with infantilizing her in the narrative, they need to make sure she infantilizes herself.

Which brings me back to the point about Aoi's "hubris." Because what is implied by saying that Aoi lost because of hubris when nothing she said or did suggested that, is that it was hubris for Aoi to fight at all. It was hubris for Aoi, and the audience, to believe she could do anything. Which is just maddening.

And to top it all off, to add insult to indignity to injury to insanity, she finishes her speech by saying, "I'll become stronger! This time, I'll do everything I can!"

AND THEN. SHE LOSES. IN THE NEXT EPISODE.

This speech reads like a bad influencer apology. First they "admit" their mistake (that Blue Angel didn't do anything in the Hanoi fight), then they deflect and change the story about what actually happened (it's because she was being full of herself! That's definitely why she lost), and finally they promise to do better (don't worry, this season, Aoi will get stronger and get some wins!), but they don't.

I can talk more about how the writers give Aoi shallow girlboss speeches instead of actually demonstrating her strength in duels, but that will come when I talk about Blue Maiden. 

Right now... it's time to talk about Blue Girl vs. Soulburner.

⇀ What's in a re-introductory duel?

Something that's pretty standard in Yugioh is the concept of the season 2 "re-introductory duel." Think Shou's promotion duel in GX, the filter episodes that came before the World Grand Prix arc started, the Sector Security battle royale in Arc-V. They can be story-relevant, or completely filler, but the point is to re-familiarize you with the main supporting characters. If you look at the first 10 episodes of a Yugioh season 2, you'll generally see all the main supporting characters represented in a duel. And if they aren't, it may reveal something about how relevant they are to the writers (Misawa GX, Ruka 5D's, Yuzu Arc-V...)

Go gets his re-introductory duel against Soulburner, and though I have my issues with how they handled Go in Season 2, which I went into in my previous post, it succeeds in every way a re-introductory duel should. It addresses the transition of his character between seasons, sets up his conflict for this season, introduces his new cards, adds character to Soulburner, and establishes a dynamic between the two. Their opposition is natural, and if anything, the season fails to capitalize on how well this duel set things up.

Aoi's re-introductory duel... is also against Soulburner. And their opposition... uh...

Look, I'll be frank, there is only one reason for Soulburner to duel Aoi, his third duel already in 10 episodes: they are fast-tracking him into main character slot #2. I talked about this in the Soulburner analysis. 

Aoi and Soulburner have no reason to be fighting, this match-up is completely artificial. They went "well Aoi needs to get a re-introductory duel because that's the Yugioh formula, and Soulburner needs more screentime, so let's shove them together," regardless of how it doesn't make narrative sense. How do they do that?

Blue Girl: We came to find the Ignis. SOL-- I mean, my brother can help you. Soulburner: You don't understand. The Lost Incident made us suffer for a long time. SOL Technologies was partly responsible for that. Entrust our future to them? Thanks, but we'll solve our own problems. Blue Girl: *frowning* In that case, those Ignis originally belonged to SOL Technologies. Give them back. Soulburner: What?

This is completely out of character for her. She knows that they're victims of the Lost Incident, she knows what they've been through, and they've just told her they're trying to save someone whose consciousness was stolen. She just said that her motivation is saving people, specifically to pay back the people who saved her. Guess who the only person who saved you was, Aoi? It wasn't your onii-san.

It would've made more sense for Ghost Girl to duel Soulburner. She's the one who was established to be a self-serving bounty hunter in Season 1. Oh, but if you gave Ghost Girl a re-introductory duel, it might give off the wrong impression that she's relevant?

This duel doesn't even add anything to Soulburner's character either, the way that Soulburner vs. Go did.

What could they have done if they were actually thinking about Aoi?

How about Aoi vs. Akira? Akira tells her that if she can beat him in a duel, he'll believe that she's strong enough to go into the restricted zone. Or they could do Aoi vs. Ghost Girl -- same thing, Ghost Girl tells Akira that if Aoi wins, it proves she's equally capable of going on this mission.

Either of these would check all the boxes for a re-introductory duel. It's a memorable matchup, it re-establishes the personalities and (IN-CHARACTER) relationships of these three, and it addresses the transition between seasons -- we left off from Aoi's devastating loss, and this duel would bridge her into an upwards character arc in Season 2.

Of course, if they did that, they would have to make an upwards character arc for Aoi.

These two episodes have succeeded in the exact opposite of what a re-introductory episode is supposed to do. It's a garbage fire of bad writing. They regress her character, and call it progress. She's out of character, in order to be unsympathetic. They don't set up an arc for Aoi this season, because they haven't thought of one. They introduce new cards that never come back. But none of it matters anyway, because Aoi isn't actually important! We'll just make up something new the next time we're contractually obligated to give her a few episodes (but not too many, god forbid!)

I guess there's one part of her character they make consistent, which is making her lose in the worst ways possible.

⇀ Blue Girl vs. Soulburner

You know how in my last Aoi post, I said that it's good when characters lose duels, and that "X should have won that duel" is a comment that often misunderstands how outcomes are about narrative purpose rather than deck matchups?

Forget everything I said. Aoi ABSOLUTELY should have won that duel holy shit. I just witnessed a goddamn crime.

So there is actually one more reason that Soulburner duels Aoi. It's that it's a good concept for a duel. Aoi should annihilate Soulburner. Go ahead with your 72 step Salamangreat combo I dare you. Go ahead and use Burning Draw I dare you. Everyone likes seeing how the underdog comes out of a pinch, and if I came out of the duel thinking, "Wow, I can't believe Soulburner pulled that off!" I could have forgiven it.

Ha ha... wow..... I can't believe Soulburner pulled that off......

I'm not usually that bothered by hyper specific made up anime cards, but what the fuck is that trap that negates effect damage under 300. Countering exactly 1) Skull Invitation 2) Ojama Trio 3) Every one of Aoi's cards. Yeah okay, fuck you Aoi.

And Aoi still should have won, if Soulburner didn't one-up Aoi's own Fusion Summon by Burning Draw YOLO topdecking a fucking Salamangreat Super Poly out of nowhere. Why??? Because the scripter couldn't think of a way out of the situation other than copying one of the strongest cards ever designed?? Fuck you Aoi.

Even Ghost Girl knows how robbed she was.

It's salt on the wound to cap off her "I'll get stronger speech" by having her lose a duel that was 99-1 in her favor. Soulburner deletes her life points in one attack, she screams and gets slammed into a cliff, and Soulburner stands over her and says, "Blue Girl, you're stronger than before."

Jesus, just look at that condescending framing.

Aoi doesn't show up again in a relevant capacity for 20 episodes, and doesn't have another duel for 30 -- that's a quarter of Vrains. Her last words as Soulburner stands over her are "You won because of the bond between a duelist and an AI?" before she passes out.

This, I suppose, is their weak attempt at introducing a plot for Aoi this season. It's... well... 

⇀ Aqua and Miyu

The Miyu backstory is lazy as hell.

I'm sorry to all the fans rooting for female characters and wlw ships, but this writing was unbelievably sloppy. Someone put "Aoi's childhood friend was a victim of the Lost Incident and that's how she gets the Water Ignis" into the show notes and then didn't think about it until it was time to write the episode.

Miyu is not a cardboard cutout. She's not cut from cardstock, both of those at least have structural integrity. Miyu has the character solidness of wet tissue. She's an NPC, a parody of a generic little girl. The only reason to care about her is if you buy into the cheap writing shortcut of damselling little girls, or you're a desperate lesbian. I'm sorry, lesbians.

They could have done anything to give Miyu an actual character, I'm not asking for a lot. Give her any kind of trait or interest -- maybe she loves the ocean and shows Aoi her collection of seashells, and she says they should go to the beach together one day but they never do. They could talk about idols, and maybe that's what inspires Aoi to later become one. They could talk about Duel Monsters, it's Yugioh for christsake. A playground duel would be adorable.

There's a million things they could have done that are more compelling than playing on the slide, but there's one that's so obvious it pains me.

The Blue Angel picture book. The one that Aoi said was her childhood treasure in the duel with Spectre, the one that motivated her to try and save him, a victim of the Lost Incident. The book that's an established part of her backstory, which made her take on the Blue Angel moniker. The book that's about a girl who is all alone until she makes friends and no longer has to cry blue tears.

Could it be more obvious? Have Miyu be the one who gave the book to Aoi. It's a backstory on a silver platter. If the writers cared about Aoi at all, if they didn't immediately forget every single thing about her the second they turn in the script for the contractually obligated Aoi episodes, they would know this. But they don't. Because even the Blue Angel picture book was clearly something they made up on the spot.

Imagine if Aoi's season 2 climax duel was vs. a controlled Miyu (à la Jin), the themes from the Spectre duel returned. Aoi questions if she really can save someone from the Lost Incident, or if it's just her own naivety, destined to be crushed over and over. But she breaks through, because this time it's her turn to save someone who's all alone. This is how you connect seasons 1 and 2, this is how you take a loss and turn it into a payoff. We can even get Spectre's perspective, he's there in the final fight.

But that's not what we get. Instead, they play on the slide, and then Miyu drops a ring down a drain, which I guess is what they think is a relatable cause of conflict for little girls. I can guarantee they would have come up with something more substantive if these were two male characters. And the pacing is just comically clunky. "Aoi-chan, look, it's my mother's ring! Isn't it pretty? Oh no, I dropped it! Wahhhhh!"

Aoi lies to Miyu's mom and says she's the one who dropped the ring, even though Miyu denies it vehemently, clearly crying and in great distress as her mother drags her away and never lets her see Aoi again.

This, we're told, is how Aoi "saved" Miyu.

Aqua: While she was imprisoned, you kept her strong, Aoi. No matter how many duels she lost, no matter how much pain she endured, even after her meals were reduced, she never broke and promised to escape. So she could see you again and apologize for that day.

.........APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT???

What the fuck kind of message is this supposed to be? Aqua is supposed to be the Ignis of TRUTH, why are she and Miyu glorifying Aoi's lie as some courageous, inspirational action, when clearly it did nothing but harm? I'm not crazy, am I? The obvious takeaway from this flashback is that even if you had good intentions lying to protect your friend, it caused miscommunication, distress, and led to their friendship breaking apart? Like, their lives would have been just fine if Aoi didn't lie, and Miyu learned a reasonable lesson about not being careless with other people's expensive objects?

This backstory is comically bad. Just imagine Miyu, going through kidnapping, starvation, and torture, sustained only by the thought that one day... she can tell the girl that she played on the slide with years ago... that she's so sorry... that her hand slipped when taking off a ring and it rolled into a drain 5 feet away.

The story would make more sense if it was me in the Lost Incident, and I was plagued by guilt over dumping Cheeto crumbs on Rachel from Pre-K, because at least I actually did something bad.

It's difficult to even articulate how much all these sloppy writing decisions compound on each other. Because they wasted Aoi's introductory episodes and didn't set up anything for her, she has no role in the story for 30 episodes. Because she was given nothing for 30 episodes, they have to shove an entire backstory for Aoi into one episode. Because they shoved the backstory into one episode, Miyu and Aoi's relationship with her are painfully rushed, generic, and flimsy. Because their relationship is so flimsy, this whole backstory, Aoi's motivation to fight, her entire season 2 plotline, is soulless garbage.

Aoi didn't remember Miyu until this episode. The writers didn't create Miyu until this episode. You cannot ask the audience to be invested in Aoi rescuing Miyu, when you don't even care enough to conceptualize her.

And this is the most damning conclusion of this post. The writers don't care about Miyu. And they don't care about Aoi. And they don't care if you care about them. You weren't meant to care about them.

Again, I'm not saying that the Vrains writers are bad writers, or they hate women. There are other factors to consider, like the specifics of gender relations in Japan, how Yugioh animes primarily exist to advertise trading cards to young boys, the fact that there has not been a single female writer on Yugioh since season 2 of GX. And obviously, Vrains had production issues, and every character suffered from flawed writing.

But my point is, Aoi suffered the most for it. 

⇀ Final Thoughts

There's a lot more that I could say about Aoi for the rest of the show. Like how she gets a magical girl transformation sequence, only to be irrelevant for 10 episodes again, and we have to wait that entire time to see her new deck. Then the duel, which really needed to be a two-episoder, is about Haru instead. The pointlessness of the Bohman duel. The pointlessness of Yusaku's "identity reveal" to Aoi. How they needed to have a third and fourth Akira manpain scene as Aoi is "taken away" from him, though I guess in that last one Aoi gets to have some girlpain too.

I did plan to talk about each of these duels, and more about how I would do an Aoi vs. Miyu conflict, but this post has gotten way out of hand already, and I've made the points I wanted to make.

I hope it was cathartic for everyone who was disappointed with Aoi, and perhaps gave language to people who were frustrated but unable to articulate why. I did some research into what other people have said about Aoi's character, such as this video by YugiohEverything, but I find that a lot of discourse in Yugioh is not very good at pinpointing why something works or doesn't work, and the actual skill of writing is oversimplified. This is especially true when it comes to Yugioh girls, and criticisms tend to fall back on losing duels or getting put in a coma, and while those can suck, they aren't the real problem.

In my last Aoi post I said "I'll just have to hope that they don't fumble whatever new thing they give her... but things tend to get bleaker for female Yugioh characters as the show goes on and whatever initial involvement they had in the story fizzles out," and this, I think, has been the real problem persistently for Yugioh girls. The writers are contractually obligated to come up with something when a series is first pitched, but when that period is up, or when concessions have to be made, the female characters are the first to be forgotten.

I just didn't think it would be this bad for Aoi.

Well. Expectations lowered.

---

First Aoi analysis

All Vrains season analysis

[honeycrispappletree]

ON THE UNDER SIDE OF TOKYO // keiji akaashi

masterlist

PART 1: OBLIVION

" I never walk about after dark, It's my point of view

'Cause someone could break your neck, coming up behind you

Always coming and you'd never have a clue"

“UNIVERSITY OF KYOTO TAKES THE WIN FROM UTOKYO, 54-22!”

The stadium sighs in unison. Few UKyoto fans who are scattered around the stands cheer loudly. Another lost basketball game for the University of Tokyo. The exits start flooding with students, disappointed in the outcome and wanting to leave as quickly as possible. 

Yn stayed in her seat at the back of the stands and finished her report. She drags her pen across the paper, trying to fabricate some interesting way to say the UTokyo basketball team absolutely sucks, and are 0-8 for the season so far. She hates being assigned to sports. But its much better than reporting on the meal schedule. Her journalism class assignments are mundane to say the least. Losing sports, knocked over trash cans around campus, and late buses are all things she knows very well.

Yn takes her attention off of her notebook and onto the moping players. They huddle together at the end of the court, getting yelled at by their coach. She cringes at the insults coming out of his mouth. It is his job on the line, after all. Her focus shifts to one specific player being shunned by the rest of the team, number 11. Throughout the game he had been missing shots and overshooting passes. His green eyes gazed down at the wood gym floor, in what she thought would be shame, but instead it was something else. She couldn't quite place it, but he looked like he wasn't even there. Not in the moment, everything being shouted at him seemed to be going in one ear and out the other. Yn tries to find out his name, but fails and just settles for writing down his jersey number. She jots down a few notes about his appearance before shoving her notebook in her backpack and leaving the gym. 

Yn steps outside to be met with an ill omen, the sunset. A warning to hurry home, she quickens her pace as she heads to her dorm. Although her university campus is deemed as protected, she can't help but be skeptical. A few months ago, a guy she slightly knew from one of her classes went missing on campus. He just vanished from school without a trace. Some people thought he was kidnapped, but police never really entertained the idea. Everyone just assumed he must have dropped out. Nobody ever heard from him again. She shudders at the eerie reminder of her exposure. It reminds her of the stories her older brother used to scare her with. How sinister things happen at night, people wander in the subways and look at you strange, and if you ever walk alone you'll go missing. She followed his directions blindly as a child, but as she got older she realized they were dramatized tales. Now though, she wonders if there was any truth to it. Yn shakes her head, not wanting to think about this kind of thing as she's traveling in the dark. Almost to her dorm, she takes a left and passes a utility pole scattered with advertisements and stickers. School clubs, basement shows,missing people, campus elections…

Missing people.

Yn backtracks to the pole to check what her eyes were telling her. She in fact finds a missing person poster, pinned front and center. A girl about her age is staring right into her eyes. Something about it makes her feel sick to her stomach. The girl's smile is innocent and unknowing. She's frozen in time and has no idea what's happened to her. Yn studies the page closer.

Alisa Haiba. Her eyes are green and her hair is a muted shade of blonde. She's pretty. Too pretty to be missing. Yn notices at the bottom of the page a phone number of someone named Lev Haiba, and to call them with any information of Alisa’s whereabouts.

‘Odd,’ she thinks to herself, ‘wouldn't you call the police with something like this?’.

Although thousands of people go missing in Japan every year, something feels different about her. Yn can almost feel her asking for help. An unsettling feeling is creeping up her shoulders and neck as she stares at the printed page. The sun is no longer visible and there is only a tint of brightness in the night sky. Torn, yn decides to rip the poster down and shove it in her notebook. She doesn't really know what she's supposed to do, but she feels obligated to do something. 

She whips her head around to check if anyone is nearby, and books it for her dorm. She makes sure the blinds are closed and the door is locked before slumping on her bed and pulling out her phone.

more!

akaashi and yn became friends in high school after becoming the co editors of their yearbook and running the school paper

very ambitious those two they both want to be succesful journalists

they work together well but are both very competitive towards each other

their professor gives them very lame stories and tears them to shreds when they arent interesting

yn's brother used to scare her with all the stories and she grew up and figured he was lying, but she isnt too sure about that recently

Utokyo has MISERABLE sports most of the time and yn is always put on basketball

her least favorite

Alisa was last seen entering the subway before dusk

taglist: none yet, reply or message to be added!

a/n: FIRST CHAPTER gang i cant write for actual shit im so sorry but i had fun anyway its fine im just better at my little text messages. im trying to make this ominous but like also funny but also sad and angsty but also cute but also everything at the same time ok Bye also the poster was supposed to be a png but it didn’t freaking work now it just looks DUMB

[ilikepjo24]

Azula's character was written for redemption...

So, as some of you may know, Aaron Ehasz was the headwriter and co-executive producer of the first two seasons of Avatar the last Airbender, so by all means, he had a lot of say about the creation of the characters and the 2/3rds of their development, or in some cases, 1/2nds. It's safe to say that next to nobody knows those characters and their purposes as well as he does.

And as some of you also know, after the show had ended, Ehasz made a tweet, publicly announcing that he always intended for Azula to have a redemption arc. Always. It wasn't a last minute decision, it was the end goal from the beginning. Which means that, naturally, in order to create a plotline that doesn't feel forced or odd, Ehasz needed to write a character that always had the potential to be redeemed. He couldn't create an irredeemable character and try to redeem them later. It wouldn't make sense.

Which is why Azula's character always was and still is a perfectly redeemable character.

I genuinely believe that the people that can't see that, simply fail to understand Azula's intentions.

I've had conversations with people that have had perfect understanding of Azula's state of mind, personality and actions, but still failed to understand why she's so redeemable, because they didn't understand her intentions. And I don't blame them for not understanding. You can look at Azula's character all you want, and you still won't see it. Because it isn't just about Azula. It's about the Fire Nation as a whole.

The thing about the Fire Nation is that they genuinely believe they are doing something that is good. It's not just a bunch of people that saw the opportunity to do something evil and did it for fun. Sozin did something evil for power and then gaslighted entire generations into believing they were going something good. The Fire Nation is a bunch of people that think they are doing something good.

In Azula's case, I drew a picture to help you understand.

(Disclaimer: Ozai's crown isn't historically accurate.)

As you can see in the picture, yes, at the end of the day, Azula does bad stuff, but not because she recognizes they are bad and genuinely wants to do then just because. She's s victim of manipulation from an adult she had every reason to trust and brainwashed by the same propaganda that controlled the rest of the nation.

So yes, she did bad stuff and she's a villain.

But she is redeemable.

Every time we see Azula try hard to complete a mission, she's passionate about it. She's passionate to do the "right" thing and she's passionate to make the person that loves her proud. That's why she doesn't evil stuff. It's not because she enjoys pain. It's not because she gets off on people suffering. It's because she thinks it's right, and she's rewarded with love.

Which is what makes her redeemable.

Because being passionate about doing something you think is right means you want to do right things. You just need your view of right to align with what's objectively right. So by that logic, all Azula needs is someone to teach her what is actually right and her views will align with that, and then she'd be passionate about doing the real right thing. The good stuff.

And someone that would do that for her, is someone who would obviously love her, or at the very least, someone who wants the best for her. So with time, it's logical to assume that sooner or later, she'll want to make this person proud.

There's nothing wrong with Azula's mentality of "do good, make proud". It's not inherently evil. Just easy to use. Right now, Ozai has used this to fill the blanks and turn the situation into "do fire nation good, make father proud". All Azula needs to be redeemed is for someone to remove the "fire nation" and "father" proud. Assuming that this person is Zuko, he should just switch it to "do what is considered good on a worldwide level, make brother proud" and just like that, Azula has gone from evil to good.

It's obviously easier said than done, but it is possible. Azula's mentality is what allows her to be anything, evil and good. It's really impressive and fascinating how Ehasz wrote such a character, but he did it for a purpose. This kind of mentality is perfect for creating an evil character that gets redeemed. And it's the exact same mentality Zuko also has. And Zuko hot redeemed, so Azula can too.

This proven.

[skijumpingf1]

Downhill (D.Prevc X D.Tande)

Hello guys! I am back with another part of my oneshot series (last part is here). This will be a part 1 (part 2 is currently in writing but it may take a while because of uni and stuff but I will hurry). First off all I am sorry. This one shot ends in a cliffhanger and if this was ao3 I would tag it as emotional hurt/no comfort (comfort will be in part 2). It is set in Lillehammer 2024 (where Domen had this insane stunt and then his first fall). I hope you still enjoy it!

Wordcount: 6249

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My favourite weekend of the year is always the first weekend of the season. Nothing beats the excitement, the thrill and the unknow before the first competition. Nobody is stressed yet and it shows. The people are way more friendly than normally. Even I am. We are all just happy to be here.

This season the first weekend feels different though. For the first time ever none of my brothers were with me when I stet foot on the plane heading to the first competition venue. Nika was there of course. But it felt different, nonetheless. The only thing that felt normal is that Daniel was going to pick me up at the airport. One of the perks that the season starts in Norway. He could visit his family for a week before the season starts. Even though he isn’t really depended on where the season starts now. He is retired. No longer a ski jumper. He won´t be there every time I have a competition. If the season would have started in Poland or Finland or I don’t know where, he probably wouldn’t be there. He says he needs a bit of space. A break of ski jumping. And I get it. He misses it a lot even though it was the right decision. It would hurt. So, he will be limiting the weekends where I would accompany me. It sucks but I try to put a supportive grimace on my face whenever we talk about it. At least we are living together now, and I get to see him when I am home, but it still feels like it isn’t enough.

Daniel stands in the arrival hall of the Oslo airport with flowers. “I missed you.”, he states as he pulls me into a short kiss. I let my hand linger on his back even after we parted our lips. “Missed you more.” Our apartment felt very empty without him there. He will get to know the emptiness there too, I guess. Gosh. I need to get out of this head space. Daniel can decide what is right for him. And I should be able to live my life without having him around constantly. Theoretical. “Rob allowed me that you can take my to Lillehammer if you want.” His eyes light up. Behind me I can hear the trouble my teammates are doing. I shot a quick look over my shoulder. Timi and Zak are fighting over a banana. Nika and the other Nika are trying to break them apart, but it isn’t working. Daniel follows my gaze. “Of course I will free you of that mess.”

“Are you excited?” We are halfway between Oslo and Lillehammer when we get to the subject of ski jumping. I shrug. “Feels different this year. Also, I don’t even remotely know where we stand. In my team I rank pretty decent, but we don’t know how it compares to others.” I talk as if Daniel isn’t familiar with ski jumping. As if he didn’t spend the majority of his life worrying about stuff like this. If I would be honest, I would have said that we are miles behind and my form is a stable as a house of cards. My boyfriend picks up on it too, of course. “Ok. You are weird. First, I thought it is just about the season and the change in your team but …” How do I say that I respect his decisions regarding ski jumping but that I hate them? Especially since I tried to supportive and said it wasn’t a big deal before. “It will be hard without you there this year, Daniel. I know it is the right thing for you but for me it sucks. I want you there. Every weekend. Of course, I respect that you can’t right now but that is just how I feel.” Daniel presses his lips together. He doesn’t even look at me. I take my eyes away from him and look outside the window. Norway is beautiful as always, but something is missing. Snow probably. The landscape is still breathtaking but it so grey. “I am trying, okay. I told you I will go to as many competitions as I can.” “I know you are. That is not my point. My point is how I feel.” Now his eyes linger on me. “Let’s see how this weekend is going, okay? Maybe it isn’t too bad, and I decided to come to a couple competitions more.” Great now I pressured him. We both know it will be bad. Bad like when he drove me to practice one time and sat in the parking lot for over an hour and couldn’t move. Or when he wanted to come to the finale of summer grand prix but backed out last minute. “Sure.”

We arrive in Lillehammer with the awkward silence still haunting around. Barely a word was said in the last half hour. I pretended to be busy with team stuff. Daniel concentrated on driving. I almost sprinted out of the car when he parked in the parking lot of our team hotel for the weekend. “Am I seeing you again today?”, Daniel asks when he gets out of the car too. I put my backpack on, faced towards the other side of the car. “I don’t know. Robert is doing a team meeting, and he said that it probably gets late.” “Domen.”, he pleads. I turn around and take my boyfriend in. His hands are in his pockets and his forehand is creased. I take a moment to close my eyes and take a deep breath than I go to him. With a swift motion I wrap my arms around him. His familiar scent reaches my nose. I missed him so much but the thought of spending the night with him before the first competition is making me anxious. We will fight. I can feel it and I need to prepare. “I think I need the night to prepare for the weekend. Tomorrow will be better, I promise.” In the background I can hear a few cars. Maybe a team that is arriving. Maybe even my team. My boyfriend leans his forehead against mine. “Okay. But we speak tonight.” “Of course.” I kiss him softly. Kissing him feels always easy, even now when the tension is high. “I love you.”, he speaks almost silent. A car door gets slammed, and I hear Timi and Lovro fighting. “I love you too.”

“What are you doing here?”, asks Zak when I enter the meeting room. He is the first one in there and sitting at the end of the table. I shrug and let myself slid onto the chair next to him. “Figured it would be bad if I didn’t attend the first team meeting of the season.” The plan was that I would sort everything with my equipment out, check in my shared room with Lovro pro forma and then leave with Danny. Rob suggested that I can miss the team meeting and spent time with my boyfriend. I didn’t even have to ask. But now, after that tension in the car, I rather be here and listen to Robs boring presentation for the start the season.

Zak raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. He is more reserved. More like me but without the bad-temperedness. He likes the quietness and tries to stay out of the drama. I appreciate it. My other teammates will be all over me so it’s nice to have at least someone who is not annoying. I clear my throat. “I know it is kind of out of the blue but if the world cup circus ever gets too much or you need someone to have your back. I am there.”, I speak up and look to my younger teammate. Zaks eyes get big in surprise. “What?” “Okay I know that I sometimes look a bit unapproachable and everything, but I want you to know that I am not.” It is the first time ever that I offered something like that to my teammates. But it is something I would have liked to have. Everybody just assumed Peter would fill that role but even after it became clear that Peter wouldn’t be that person, nobody came to me and helped me. Well apart from Daniel. In hindsight I probably needed more help. More guidance even if I rejected it. I know that Zaks situations is vastly different than mine was, but I would still like to help him. Become someone he trusts with it because I feel like he could need someone. Sure, he could go to Anze, but he is always way to concerned. Sure Lovro, Timi and I are all roughly the same age, but they are so bubbly, and I have the hard experience they luckily mostly lack. “Thank you. I appreciate it. Really.” I nod to him and give him a small smile.

The door to the conference door opens and Anze and Timi enter. Anze pauses when he spots me. “What the hell are you doing here?” “Trouble in Paradise?”, adds Timi and smirks. I groan. “I am still part of this team. You should be more confused if I wasn’t here.” For a second time the door opens. “Has someone seen Domen or Daniel? Domen left all of his stuff, even his phone, behind.”, my roommate for the weekend barges in without even looking up from his phone. He probably already writes a text to Danny. Strangely Daniel is closest with Lovro. I thought he and Anze would hit it off in the half year he trained with us, but no. Lovros goofy attitude stuck with Daniel. “Relax you Idiot. I am here.” Lovro looks up confused. I can see the way he turns slightly to Timi and Anze to get their opinion. I also see the way they shake their heads. “Shouldn’t you be all over you boyfriend right now? I mean cool that you are here but the last week you have been miserable because Daniel wasn’t around. Now he is around, and you are here.” Lovro speaks fast while the other guys observe my reaction. Normally I would make a snarky remark now and the other would drop it. The others are aware of it too. Anze is concerned but he isn’t pressing like he would with Timi. But I promised Peter to try. Try bonding better with my team. I made the first step with Zak so why not try going further.

I sigh. “Daniel and I would fight if we spent the night together. So, I kind of fled and delayed the fight to tomorrow.” The second Timi opens his mouth, Robert and the co trainers come into the room. The conversation has to be delayed as well. Fitting.

Timi, Anze and Zak have no chance to ask me about the topic again. Rob accompanied us to dinner and even those guys know better than to speak about relationships while our coach just told us to focus. Lovro waits with the question until we are in our bed and just minutes away from turning the lights off. “What is the deal with Daniel?” I let my eyes shut for a few seconds and let myself fall onto my pillow. “It is kind of complicated.” “We have time Domen. I know you want to talk about it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said anything.” Its unfair that my colleagues can read my pretty well. But stuff like this happens when you spent more time with them than with your family. “Daniel is having a tough time. Like he doesn’t know what he wants to do after the retirement. The new environment and not that many contacts aren’t helping. And he barely can stand the thought about ski jumping because it still hurts so much. He still thinks it was the right decision but that doesn't mean that it isn’t hurting.”, I speak honestly. Peter would be proud of me. Argh. Can’t believe I follow his advice. “Do you think it was the right decision?” Lovro rolls onto his side to look at me. His phone long forgotten. “Yes. He wasn’t happy doing it anymore. He would have hurt himself doing it. It just he hasn’t got a plan, and he doesn’t want to speak about it. Also, he doesn’t want to come to competitions which sucks because I am so used with having him around here.” For the majority of my career Daniel was there. Even before we were together. Every world cup stop is plastered with memories. Like here in Lillehammer where we both purposely missed the train during raw air, and we get a whole night together. It was one of the first ones after we got together. “Seems like you are frustrated because you can’t help him. Must be hard on you too. Knowing he isn’t doing good but knowing you can’t fix it.” “I mean … Yes, I think. It is hard.” Lovro chuckles while I roll with my eyes. Of course he can’t stay serious. “Sorry it’s just that you just figured it out. Like obviously it is hard on you. Have you tried talking to Daniel?” I also turn onto my side and watch Lovro who looks at me with concern. “Of course, but I have to respect his decisions. How can I complain knowing it will hurt him if he comes to competitions?”

The real deal starts on Saturday. I don’t make the mixed team on Friday which I expected. So, Saturday is game day for me. I start the day with a light jog through the Norwegian forest. Normally I just run around without a certain destination. Today I have a set goal. It’s the gym of the Lillehammer ski club. Daniel is doing a training sessions with Maren Lundby for kids there. He was asked a few weeks ago and of course my boyfriend can’t say no to something like this. Yesterday he was a bit nervous about it but today he seemed exited. Me missing him overruled all the other bad feelings I had, and I spent the night in his hotel. Surprisingly there wasn’t a fight, but we avoided all of the hard topics. This morning, he already made plans which games to play and stuff.

I turn right and the gym is in my sight. Its not far from the hill, which is good since Rob is doing another team meeting today as a result of yesterday's bad mixed competition, and I have to be back at the hill in an hour. Hopefully Danny enjoys today, I think when I enter the building. In my mind I always thought that he would make a good kid’s trainer. Not that he wouldn’t be good a regular trainer. But the way he acts around kids and how he cares would make him an excellent trainer for young jumpers. He could be a good TV expert too. With his looks and his charming personality, he would certainly draw people to our sport.

Loud noises are already coming out of the gym. I don’t want to disturb the lesson, so I just look through the door. Danny is on the floor and is doing a few stretches with a bunch of kids. He has is back turned to me, but I can tell he is laughing. I let my hand run through my hair. Should I go in? I can’t just stand here for an hour. But I want to let Danny do his own thing without pressure from me. My boyfriend takes this decision from me when he stands up and scans the gym. His eyes immediately land on me. A smile is appearing on my lips. He really looks good here. You could almost say he glows. With a few fast steps he is by the door and opens it for me. Quickly I remove my headphones. “Hey. What are you doing here?”, he asks in amused voice. “Just wanted to see if everything is alright.” I step into the hall and already spot a few eyes on me. Those kids are ski jumpers of course they know me when they see me, but I am still surprised. Danny puts an arm around my torso. “I am glad you came. I probably won’t have time to wish you good luck for later.” He lets his gaze wander over the kids. “Do you want to join? The kids would love another world cup athlete as their coach.” For a short moment I am considering it, but this is Danny thing. I shake my head. “I have to be back at the hill soon.” He takes my hand and pulls me towards the kids. “But you have time for a few autographs, right?”

Half an hour later all the kids are equipped with autographs and pictures. “You seem so happy here.”, is the only comment I allow myself when Danny walks me back to the door. “Those kids are fun. Even you aren’t grumpy.” I roll my eyes. “See you after the competition?”, my boyfriend questions. I nod and give him a short hug. “Definitely.”

Timi, Anze and I are all going up the hill together. The perk of the first competition is that we jump in the order of last year’s world cup standings and relatively late. Tomorrow we will be probably jumping a lot earlier. Timi and Anze were both pretty bad and the mixed team and my form is even worse. “So much to a good start of the season.”, comments Timi when we see Zaks result in the elevator up the hill.

We arrive at the top of the hill and go into the waiting room. We prepare for our jumps. While Timi is focused, Anze and I let out our eyes wander around. Timi goes out first, a few seconds later Anze follows and lastly, it’s my turn. I nod at Anze and Timi when they go through the suit control. A sign that I wish them a safe flight. My gaze wanders downhill. Somewhere Daniel is standing. Is he looking or avoiding watching the competition? I close my eyes and breath. I need to focus, and I can’t focus if I think about Danny. So, I push him to the back of my mind.

It`s my turn to go onto the gate. The steps to prepare for a jump are a part of me. I don’t need to think about checking the binding. My subconsciousness is doing it alone. The ample turns green and Rob lowers the flag. Without any hesitation I let loose. My jump itself is okay. A bit late but manageable. Suddenly something feels odd. Very odd. I am losing the balance. Shit. The binding. Out of pure instinct I grab onto my ski. I don’t even know why. Never in my entire career I grabbed onto a ski mid-flight. But somehow its working and then I crash. The fall is probably much more minor than without my little stunt. Air is getting pushed out of my lungs when I collided with the hill and my heads slams into the snow. I don’t crash often but it’s plastered into the back of my brain that I should turn onto my back, so I do.

Daniel is my first cohesive thought. Gosh he is seeing this. He sees me fall. I come to a halt in the outrun. Paramedics are already there when I open my eyes. Daniel saw me fall. Daniel whose feats I just confirmed. “Please lay still. Can you tell my where you are? Are you feeling any pain?” “I need to let him know that I am okay.” The young paramedic looks at me like I am crazy. Not good if you just tumbled down a ski jumping hill. I shake my head and sit up. “Domen, right? We need to make sure you don’t have a spinal or head injury. Please lay down.” “I am in Lillehammer, and I just fell. My back hurts but its manageable. I probably have a concussion, but I need to get to my boyfriend.” Without waiting for answer I stand up. I am dizzy for a second, but it doesn’t matter. The audience is clapping when they see me walking. My eyes scan the people in the VIP area and in the chancing zone. Timi almost hangs over the railing. Anze behind him is giving my thumbs up which I recreate. Another cheer. “Daniel?”, I form silently. My oldest teammate signs with the head in the direction of the VIP tent. So, he didn’t stay to watch. He didn’t make sure I am okay. I feel like someone punched me. He isn’t waiting at the exit where the paramedic booth is. The young paramedic is catching up with me. He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Domen, we need to get you looked at. I am sure everyone is aware that you are okay.”

I let me guide to the blue booth where all the medical personnel is. It’s a quick examination. Just bruising and maybe a slight concussion. My team doctor comes in in the middle with my bag. I change out of my suit, and he assures the staff that he can take care of me. I am out of there in ten minutes. “Man, that was crazy. I never seen something like it.”, Matej, our team doctor, chats, when he follows me outside. “Domen.”, I hear a shaky voice. Daniel. He was leaning against the booth but walks over to me as soon as he was sure it´s me. Matej gives me a quick pad on the shoulder and then he disappears. My boyfriend lets his arms out as if he wants to hug me but stops. “Are you hurt?” His way of asking if he can hug me. I shake my head and cross my arms in front of me. “Where were you?” Daniel looks like he was hit. His eyes go wide. “I am sorry, but I need to get away. I felt like the world was coming down when I saw you tumble down the hill.” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline or something else, but I won´t pamper him right now. Not when I fell. Not when he should be taking care of me. “You felt like the world was crashing down? My first thought was you and that I had to make sure that you know I am safe. But you weren’t there. You didn’t come check on me.” My boyfriend makes a step into my direction, but I back off. “Domen.”, he pleads. “You needed a minute when I fell. I need a minute now.”

I leave him behind and go into the direction of the lift, but I don’t come far. “Domci.” Nika slams into me. “I am fine.”, I assure her and put my arms around her. She buries her head in my chest. “I was so worried when I saw the jump. I came down as quickly as I could.” I let my self take in the familiar scent and weight of Nika in my arms. Since she has become older the times when she really wants to hug me have reduced. So, I enjoy this one even if a fall was the necessary for it. Eventually she lets go of me. She looks around. “Where is Danny?” My face falls and I swallow hard. Is it bad that I suddenly feel the urge to cry? Nothing happened really. I am fine. Sure, my back hurts but it’s nothing. Daniel will come apologize and I will forgive him. But right now, everything feels too much. “Oh, he did not.” Nika gets the hint. She is fuming. “Can we go up? I want to get out of here as quickly as I can.” My little sister takes my hand and leads me to the lift. “Lucky for you Katra wants to explore the city with Tina, so my room is free.”

The hotel is pretty empty when we go into the lobby. Makes sense since most of the people that are currently living here, are at the hill. We share the same floor as the girls. Nikas room is just two doors down from mine. With quick motions my little sister opens the door. The first thing she does is get rid of her shoes and jump onto one of the two double beds. “How unfair! I have to share a bed with Lovro.” Although I am lucky with Lovro. Timi likes to cuddle when he sleeps. Anze usually doesn’t mind, and they tend to share a room. “Well, we are way more successful than you guys.” My phone rings. I know who it is even before I look. Daniel is trying to call me. My finger tense around the phone. I let him go to voicemail. It rings again. “Domen?” My little sister sits up in her bed and frowns. She pats next to her. “Sorry. Its just Danny.”, I explain while I sit down next to her. “I figured. So, what happened?” A sigh escapes me. I close my eyes and lean against the headrest. “Its dumb. I fell and he wasn’t there. I mean he was there but after I was checked out. In my mind he would come running to me. Meet me at the exit. Come with me while I get checked out. Hold my hand. But he wasn’t there.” My phone vibrates again. Just one short vibration. A message. A few seconds later a few more are coming.

Nika pulls me out of my thoughts when she leans her head on my shoulder. I try not to wince. My shoulder got a bit hurt during my tumble down the hill. “Did he explain why?” “He said he needed to get away. I mean, I get it. The fall triggered him. Ski jumping alone triggers him sometimes. But it was me, you know? I thought that it would be more important to him to check if I am okay.” The telephone rings again. I look on the screen and expect Daniels name like the two times before but its his mother. It could be just Daniel who tries a different approach knowing that I won’t hang up on his mom. If it is, it’s working. I shot Nika a apologetic look and take the phone call. “Hello.”, I say quietly. “Oh Domen. Are you alright? That fall looked nasty.” Trude Tande is one of the best people I know. She is so caring, and it doesn’t surprise me that she asked about me first and not give the phone straight to her son. “I am fine. Just a bit of bruising.” I hear a bit of Norwegian swear words. “Daniel is terrible worried.” “You can tell him I am with my little sister if that calms him down.” I bet Danny is standing next to her. Maybe he is even listing. “He is sorry, you know. He couldn’t. Its hard for him.” “Its hard for me too.” Nika raises an eyebrow. I shake my head. There is a pause from Trude. As if she didn’t really consider me before. Didn’t consider my feelings about the whole situation. Not just today. In general. “Look Trude. I promise I will call Danny today or I drop by his room. I just need a bit.” “I will let him know. Take care.”

“Was that his mom?” I nod and run my hands over my face. Nika considers for a second what she wants to do. She is Nika, my annoying little sister, so obviously she is going to press for more information, and I love her for it. Everyone else would let me be mad and lost in my head but not her. “It hasn’t been too good between you two recently, hasn’t it?” Slowly I rest my head on top of hers. “I mean when is life not hard? But recently it has been tougher.” “Why?” Nika seems genuinely confused. Sometimes I forget that she is only 19. Barely an adult. She is already extraordinary smart and brilliant at everything she does. But she barely lived the real life outside the ski jumping world. Maybe I should insist on doing more with her in our time off. “Can we talk about something else? I need a distraction.”

I spent the whole day in Nikas room. We watch a romcom that Nika wanted to watch for ages, then we gossip about old schoolmates and people we meet through ski jumping. By the time dinner arrives my back properly hurts from the fall, but I am not that mad anymore. “Thanks for being there.”, I say to my little sister before leaving her room. “No worries. We don’t spend enough time together anyway.” Quickly I hug Nika. “And we are definitely going to change that.” My sister lets go of me and looks at me for a moment. “Are you going to talk to Daniel now?” “I think I have no other choice. If I don’t call him today, he is going to storm the hotel.”, I joke but mean it. Daniel would knock on every door if he had to. “Then good luck.”, she speaks before she goes back into her room.

Its already dark outside when I find the courage to call my boyfriend. On my way to Lovros and my room the hotel suddenly felt too suffocating, and I wandered outside to a bench with view over the entry of the hotel. My boyfriend picks up the phone after the first ring. “Domen! Oh my god, finally! I am so sorry.” Hearing his voice feels good and bad at the same time. He was always the person that brought me calm and now the opposite is happening. I feel nervous about speaking with him. “Can we talk in person? I am outside of my hotel on a bench.” “Of course. I will be there in five minutes.” He hangs up and the silence is surrounding me again. I breath in the cold Norwegian air and suddenly I know what to do. The solution is as clear as the sky above me.

Daniel shows up in less than five minutes. His hair is hidden under a white hat, his hands are in the pockets of his thick coat. “Hey.”, he is the first of us to speak. “Hey.”, I repeat. He makes a step towards me and takes his hands out of his pockets. “Let’s go for a walk.” Without waiting for a response, I head into the Norwegian forest. I can hear his footsteps behind me. Faster than mine. Trying to catch up. “Okay listen, I am so sorry that I wasn’t there. If the roles were reversed, I would be angry as well, but you have to understand me. I thought for a second, I would lose you. I know you know that feeling and you can surely understand how terrifying this was.” Sharply I turn around to face him. We are already deep into the forest so that nobody can spot or hear us. I don’t feel bad when I get louder. “Understand how terrifying? It was terrifying when you were in a coma, and I had no information about how you were doing. Today was nothing in comparison. I was up on my feet in two seconds because I wanted to show you that I was fine so you wouldn't experience what I did. But you weren’t even there to make sure I was okay.” Daniel opens his mouth and closes it again. With a sigh I remove my beanie and let my hand run through my hair. “Listen I don’t want to fight about today. It felt shitty that you weren’t there, it still does. But we should talk about everything that lead to this and all the other stuff.”

“What do you mean?” I raise my head and look at the stars above us. Its kind off feels like the time we talked right before we got together. In Engelberg 2019. We were also outside of the hotel in the forest. There were no stars but a lot of snow. The naïve teenager me asked Daniel of all people about attraction and it quickly brought me to a lot of realizations. This also feels like a big conversation. But in a different way. “You are not doing okay. I let it slide because I thought you were just sad about retiring. Ever since the announcement you haven’t gotten better thought. It has gotten worse. From not be able to ski jump again to barely tolerating watching it is a huge way down.” Daniel bits his lip. Normally I would find it endearing but now it shows me how insecure he is. “I have to admit, I may be a bit more triggered about ski jumping than I thought I would. But now that the season is starting again, I will get in the groove again.” “And what if I fall again? Or one of your old teammates? I think you need help.” I close my eyes during the last part, so I don’t have to see his reaction. I can hear it though. He stays silent for a moment. “I will let you help me. I promise. I will talk about it more.” I can’t help the small powerless laugh. “I can’t help you. How? Ski jumping is my life. There is not a halfway for me to help you because I am too involved. And even if I could, I don’t think I have the strength to help you.” Daniel closes the distance between us. He is standing so close that I can feel his body heat and smell his perfume. I fight the urge to back off. “What do you mean?” A sad smile is appearing on my face. “The last months were hard for me, and you didn’t even realize it. Every time you were breaking down, I was breaking down. And it is so damn exhausting to try to get you to do something. I tried so hard to bring you joy and something that could be your next thing after ski jumping. But nothing worked. I can’t handle that you are just sitting in our apartment drowning in self-sorrow.” There is an audible gasp from my boyfriend. I let my head hang low. “What are you saying? Are you saying what I think you are saying?”, Daniel whispers. “I think you need to figure yourself out. I think you need to find something that brings you joy and that you can do after your career.” “But you don’t want to be a part of it?” I raise my hand to his cheek. “I want to be a part of it, but I can’t. Not for currently.” Now its Daniel who takes a step backwards. His throws his hands in the air. “So, you are breaking up with me? Because you can’t support me?” Sharply I shake me head. I didn’t consider how this would come over exactly. “No, I don’t want to break up. I love you; I would never suggest that we break up. It’s just that I think that we need a break. A break where you can start figuring out what to do. A break where I can concentrate on ski jumping without feeling guilty that I am prioritizing it over you.” Danny swallows hard. “A break?” “A break.”, I confirm. “Until you are doing better, and my job doesn’t trigger you anymore. Until I can support you again without feel exhausted.”

I can see how Daniels mind processes my words. “How would that even work? We life together.” “We are flying to Finland directly from here. After that I could move in with my parents or with my brothers if we still need time. Or you stay here with your family if you think it would be beneficial to be in Norway.” It physically hurts to speak about living separately again after the little time we had together but it would hurt more if we continued like this. Then maybe there wouldn’t be a relationship to safe. “And how will you know that I am ready? How will I know?” I shrug. “You call me, or I call you. It’s not like I want you out of my life, Danny. If you need me, I will still be there.” I take a step towards Daniel and reach my hand out for him. He takes it. Gently I pull him towards me and put my arms around him. For the last time in a while I take in his scent. “I love you, Daniel. This break won’t change anything about that. I will miss you horrible, but I think we would break if we continued like this.” “Okay. If this helps saving us, then okay.” He pulls me closer as if he is scared that I would disappear right now. “Can you say it too? So that I have something to hold on?” “I love you, Domen. We will get this fixed. I will get this fixed. I promise.” I can feel tears coming in and I swallow hard. “I love you. I really do.” With a heavy heart I press my lips onto his and then I leave.

[the-otherlands-official]

Do you like magic? Adventure? Complicated characters? TV shows that are slowly being written by an amateur writer who have dedicated more time to it than they probably should? Queer representation? Screenwriting?

In that case, hello! My name is Milo (they/he) and I am currently writing a show titled The Otherlands! Please bear with me while I try and explain it. It's a fantasy adventure set in a world where only the people who have magic and were born with the gene for it can remember it. These people are called magicians, and they, along with other magical species, live in a small area dubbed The Otherlands, Oregon.

Season one stars:

HENRY LANDON, a seventeen year old boy who had a relatively ordinary life until his brother Beau went missing. That opened up a whole new mystery for him as he learns that, not only is magic real, but he has it.

ATLAS SONDERS, a sixteen year old ember--humanoid fire being--summoned by Henry and his friends for protection in finding Beau. Instead of wanting money or items in return, all he wants is friendship.. and a way to escape the past that is always creeping up on him.

The focus and protagonists shift as seasons go on and we delve deeper into the problem: everyone used to be able to learn magic, even if they weren't born with it. This all changed after someone used their magic to stop an attack... and ended up affecting everyone. There are two different organizations trying to fix the magic that caused the world to be the way it is now.

THE GUARD: A group of magicians dedicated to keeping The Otherlands relatively peaceful. They have a long history with the memory curse, and its mysterious captain is supposedly the one who put it up, though the world's memories of him are... strange and scattered.

THE INCENTIVE: An organization that exists simply to take the curse down and bring magic back to everyone. But they tend to go about it in violent ways, having grown impatient from all of the years of failed attempts.

But really, nobody is truly good or evil, are they? Everyone has their own secrets and problems.

People are complicated.

And that's what the Otherlands gets across, through delving into the lives and minds of different characters. Some other important characters, some that turn into protagonists by the later seasons:

PENN GRAVES, a seventeen year old girl who tries her best to be there for her friends while navigating her own struggles with pieces of her childhood that she really doesn't know how to feel about resurfacing.

BEAU LANDON, a nineteen year old magician who constantly tries to do what's best to help the people he cares about be okay, but doesn't know how to focus on himself and his own needs.

ACHERAN SONDERS, a nineteen year old ember with secrets kept even from herself. They care about their loved ones but, because of the situation they've been put in and the people who control them, they don't know how to feel that properly.

So if this sounds good to you, I'm thinking of posting the script for the first episode on here--and if people like it, I'll keep posting them! I've written up to season 3, episode 1 (there are nine episodes in a season) and outlined the entire show, so content is promised.

Let me know if this sounds good!

[marginofthought]

What are your favorite possessive!Dean/controlling!Dean moments from the show?

I love your writing so much by the way 🥰

Hii, thank you!! ♥

Canon isn't my speciality and these might be more possessive/protective but I gotta mention:

Season 1 Episode 16 - Dean opening up a little bit and admitting that he really wanted Sam back with him. All Dean wants is for Sam to be only his and always by his side.

Season 2 Episode 9 - one of my favorite quotes: “You make a move on him, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground” ugh yes please, nobody is allowed to touch him

Season 2 Episode 10 - Yeah, fuck Gordon, how dare he go after his Sammy

Season 4 Episode 13 - Dean being possessive and protective about Sam in High School? Fantastic, especially when they repeat the “gonna rip his lungs out”

Season 9 Episode 22 - “This is a dictatorship” Yeah you tell your little brother, how dare he not follow whatever you say!

Season 12 Episode 1 & 2 - Dean hated it so much that Sam was taken, ready to take on the world to get him back. Wish we could have seen him kill/torture that british bitch

And when we’re talking about controlling we can’t forget: Dean letting an angel possess his brother in order to save him (aka the ultimate rape metaphore) at the end of S8E23 just to let him get possessed by a demon just to get said angel out again in S9E10….

[ladymorghul]

It's so confusing in every single post-episode interview, Ewan kept saying Alicent was Aemond's cryptonite, his soft spot, etc., and then, after the season finale, Geeta revealed it was Helaena all along. I don't have a clue why in the first half of the season they were making us believe Aemond didn't care about his sister (his reaction to BnC was going to the brothel where he had a good time and bragged Daemon sending assassin after him, he never mentioned Jaehaerys and didn't even brother to attend his nephew's funeral). Some were even speculating Daemon's notorious vision of Alyssa was , in fact, a mirror image of Aemond's secret desire to have sex with Alicent , who he was supposed to be obsessed with. Do you think there is a chance Helaena's actually the closest person to Aemond, just like Geeta said?

i totally get the confusion tbh.

i will get boo'ed for this but i do personally think they lowkey retconned aemond in s2 and in the first half had to diminish his story and involvement in the story to make space for aegon's and to gain aegon some sympathy through the writing.

it makes zero sense that aemond wasn't involved in the b&c aftermath, both with helaena and the rest of his family. daemon is only brought up once by him in the brothel and nobody speaks of him in relation to b&c outside of that at all. aemond is made to talk exclusively of luke when his nephew was straight up killed horribly. the only thing b&c related we have of aemond is something that iirc ewan mitchell came up with himself. the coin that he finds in his room, the one he fiddles with during the council. ewan says:

“i wanted to just remember that everything that coin represents very much lives in aemond's head rent-free. the idea that daemon got this close, and ultimately aemond's nephew paid the ultimate price, that's something that does haunt aemond.”

unfortunately unless you're someone who likes to analyze, maybe go back and rewatch, are good with details, this is something that can easily be missed. we have nothing else tying him to b&c and it is so sad they erased him from this plotline.

then there's also of course having helaena easily brush off the circumstances of b&c and having a significant part of the b&c plotline focus on alicent: her sex scene and her guilt, which helaena easily forgives.

i do think aemond craves validation from his mother, and even more love than whatever he got, and i do think he's affected by alicent's actions and attitude to a degree, but i'm not sure i would call her his "cryptonite"

that being said i know ewan talked extensively about alicent. then again, he also talked about loyalty to his family and we knew that was something to throw off the audience during promo season considering what was coming for rook's rest.

i do think geeta is right in that aemond has deeper feelings for helaena. personally, i think he always had them. on one hand i feel like he always had romantic feelings for helaena and also the bitterness that comes with being a second son not being able to be the one who gets to marry the sister.

as for "the closest person".. it's hard. if we look at it overall, he obviously had more scenes with his mother, however we also see a huge clash between who his mother is and who he is. the closeness they had in season 1 is definitely slipping in season 2. the problem here i think lies in the writing consistency and the actual lack of scenes of both aemond and helaena. hotd uses aemond a lot for promo but when you look at his screentime... i mean.... and the way they used that screentime in the first part of season 2 is especially lacking.

and i agree with geeta that aemond and helaena are definitely closer than aegon and helaena. phia says she doesn't live a married live, that this marriage was just to please her mother and never thinking about herself, but we saw in season 1 that she and aemond are closer, something that should have naturally spilled into season 2 with the aftermath of blood and cheese and how that would affect both characters and their relationship, but like i said... i feel like it was retconned to make space for aegon's story before he would be burned in rook's rest.

it's also not just geeta saying that aemond and helaena have a closer relationship, but also ewan mitchell and phia saban. and we can see that culminate in episode 8 when it's clear helaena is the only person who can get that type of reaction out of aemond thus far.

but the writers are pretty bad at showing this on screen consistently and building it naturally and it's not just with aemond and helaena, but other dynamics and plotlines.

[jjtheresidentbaby]

idk if u still do supernatural but r u open to a fic of little sam and cg dean? (i dont ship them i just love the brother dynamic they got)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ not true ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| dean winchester & sam winchester

a/n: ofc I still do spn!! I still write for all the fandoms listed on my navigation post unless they’re crossed out

warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, set in season 1, rude people, protective dean, pet names talk of jess’ death/cg!jess

-

Dean feels Sam's face tuck into his neck before he sees his brother walk over, Sam presses himself into Deans side so something is obviously wrong.

"Sammy?" He asks, turning on his feet to look at Sam's face, his eyes glisten with un-shed tears, nose sniffling after a second. Dean feels dread twist up in his gut, this hunt should be an easy salt and burn, they had come to this shop to ask a few routine questions about the owner who had died and since come back to haunt the place that his daughter now owns. Sam shouldn’t be upset or hurt at all.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart what’s wrong?” Deans hand comes to cradle Sam’s cheek before he can stop himself, he knows that Sam has slipped into his headspace, it’s written all over his face.

“Nothin’ just some guy.” He mumbles and a spike of anger flares in Deans chest. This is the fourth hunt in that past however many months that someone’s said something about Sam, whether it be about his “childish” behavior or the rambles he gives on cases that are too intricate for the local pd to understand. Both make Dean angry, protective, but the comments about how “clingy” or “young” Sam is really get to him.

His brother has been through a lot throughout his life, something that Dean is keenly aware of. The latest trauma is Jess dying, it had shook Sam to his core, just like when Mary died and John became a mess. But they’re working through it and Sam regressing has been helpful, it’s only four months into Dean finding out about the coping mechanism and yet he’s fallen comfortably into the role of a caregiver for Sam. A role that Jess used to fill, Dean is always sure to be sensitive when that comes up.

The last thing Sam should have to deal with is a bunch of assholes who have nothing better to do than poke fun at someone they don’t know. It gets to Dean in different ways than it does Sam, the older Winchester wants to hunt the people down and give them a piece of his mind, while Sam would rather Dean leave it and let Sam latch around him a little more than normal.

It’s how Dean finds his hand gripped tightly in Sam’s as they walk down the crooked sidewalk back to the Impala, thankfully not wearing suits as he’s sure it’d be an odd sight for anyone passing by. It’s not a long walk by any means but Dean can feel his mind spiraling the more Sam squishes against his side, whatever was said must’ve been bad, really bad.

“Hey it’s okay Sammy, it’s just us now.” Dean assures as soft as he can. Sam’s staring up at him from where his head is rested on Deans side, his body halfway slid down the bench of the impala so he can be smaller than Dean. It’s something Dean noticed almost immediately, Sam always slumps himself down or curls his shoulders in when he’s regressed, just trying to shrink himself to be physically tinier.

“Can you tell me what they said? You don’t have to but if I know I might be able to help more.” There’s a low rumble as Dean drives down the road, now thankful that their motel is just outside of town and not in the middle where they could run into more rude people.

“I- I was just asking questions about the girl we’re trying to help but this- this guy came in and started to say stuff about how nobody like me could really help her.” He sniffles through the explanation and Dean has to focus half his energy on not turning around to go tear that guy a new one. It’d do no good, sure it’d satisfy him, but Sam would still be upset and probably even more so knowing Dean got into a fight because of him, despite none of it ever being Sam’s fault. The kids got a heart of gold that people love to prey on.

“That’s not true, it will never be true Sammy. You are an amazing hunter and anyone would be lucky to have your help.” The compliments fire off in instinct, of course Sam’s a good hunter, of course he’d be the person you’d want to get help from, Deans never thought anything different.

“But—.” Dean shakes his head firmly, glancing down at Sam’s soft face and hand gripping at the t-shirt Dean has on, Dean wishes he could stay like this forever. Just them, safe, in Baby, only worrying about each other.

“But that guy was a jerk and you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Now c’mon we’ll order something and watch cartoons.” A tired but full smile spreads on Sam’s face as they both tumble out of the car, Dean already holding his hand out for his brother and a plan forming in his head for what they can do once this hunt wraps up, they could both use a little tlc in Deans opinion.

[anamoon63]

Thank you to @nocturnalazure, @kimmiessimmies and @marcishaun for the question! 😘❤️I decided to answer in one post and with only one sim because I'm having a bit of a busy weekend, I had a small window of time to sit down and do this and I really didn't want to leave anyone behind, so I hope that's not a problem. 😉

TONY LANGERAK

I'm sure nobody expected this, but Tony Langerak was my first ever favorite sim, 'favorite' being understood as a sim you can't stop playing with and that also has its own story. So for this time and in answer to my dear three mutuals who asked me this question, I am going to list 5 facts about my beloved Tony. 💙

THE FACTS:

Fact # 1

Tony Langerak is not technically an OC of mine because he was born in game, but his looks and personality are totally my creation. As his last name says, he is descended from the Langeraks of Sunset Valley; he's Dustin's great grandson and Parker's grandson. He was born in Hidden Springs, then he migrated to Starlight Shores, then back to Hidden Springs, and finally settled in Island Paradise. He has a twin brother, Mike; they are not really identical but if you dress and style them alike, they will look very similar! (BTW, Mike is married to the famous singer Miranda Cho, sister of another famous singer Michelle Cho, both Dale' Cho's aunts. This is where the Langerak and Cho families meet!). Tony is and adult (around the middle 40s), and belongs to generation four of The Kamels of Hidden Springs (One gen before the Cho Brothers). In addition to having a twin, Tony has two older sisters who are also twins, Kamillah and Lillian. And a brother older than all of them, Kurt.

Fact #2

Tony didn't go to college; his dream was to be a writer (Illustrious Author). To pursue it, he moved to Starlight Shores with his twin brother and the two of them worked hard to get to the top. It was there that Tony met his first wife, outstanding acrobat Cassandra Steele. His stay at Starlight Shores didn't last long though, as he became an explorer and traveled all around the world to get relics to sell, making money very quickly. His aspiration then changed drastically, now his desire was to have a Private Museum, which he eventually achieved. Also, after getting practically all the treasures he could in his adventures around the world, Tony managed to achieve his primary aspiration which was to become a famous writer. He began writing about his travels, and then he continued with novels of all genres, including an autobiography.

Fact #3

In terms of skills, Tony is quite talented and multifaceted, not only mastering writing but also painting, sculpting, and in his spare time, he plays the drums. He's a seasoned traveler and explorer, he's a professional diver, he's an expert in martial arts, and he practices meditation. Additionally, and thanks to Jeannine, he knows all the secrets of nectar making, has his own vineyard and wine cellar, and, of course, he has his own winery in his vacation home in France.

Fact #4

Today, Tony leads a fairly peaceful life, but it wasn't always easy, it may have been full of successes, but it was also full of failures, mainly his love life, which was quite chaotic. He married very young to Cassandra Steele, but during their marriage, on one of his trips to Champs Les Sims, he met Jeannine Lambert with whom he had an affair that later turned into a steady romance. For a while, Tony led a double life, being unfaithful to Cassandra (perhaps due to his commitment issues). When he finally confessed to Cassandra about his affair with Jeannine, she asked him for a divorce. Tony begged her for a long time to forgive him, but Cassandra wouldn't budge, and they ended up separating. The post-divorce period was a very dark time for Tony, during which he drank himself into an alcoholic. It was difficult for him to get out of it, but he finally did and, once sober, he made the heartbreaking decision to forget Cassandra forever and propose marriage to Jeannine.

Fact #5

Jeannine was not Tony's only romance. After his divorce from Cassandra, Tony had several other affairs, including a marriage with Mia Azul, the red-haired mermaid from Island Paradise; a more or less long relationship with Aislara Alvarez with whom he had a son; and even a steamy affair with Adaeze Min in Shang Simla. But all that is already behind him (apparently), he is now happily married to Jeannine and lives with her and their four children in Island Paradise. Jeannine has been trying to convince him to move permanently to their house in Champs Les Sims, but Tony is not sure, as he is very attached to the island. Recently Cassandra called him and asked him to meet to discuss an undisclosed matter, will she come back to disrupt Tony's life again, or will she let him finally enjoy his peaceful marriage with Jeannine? We will see!

-----

Additional note: Tony and Cassandra's story has been on hiatus for like two years or more now, but it's still going on in my imagination, lol. I hope to resume it soon.

Additional note 2: I know the answer to this ask was supposed to be only 5 facts, but you know, I'm a compulsive storyteller, plus when I start talking about my sims there's no stopping me, so they weren't really 5, but more like five groups of many. 😋

I have much, much more to say about Tony, but this will be all for today. Thank you all for reading this far! 😊💗

[mandaplease10]

A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #1

Here I'll be yapping about different things I've noticed from Polin's Story in the Bridgerton Series. Don't know how many parts this will be, but here goes the first!

Colin's Fake Persona

Most of us (with media literacy) realize that the Colin when see in the beginning of season 3 is not the real Colin. He has traveled and returned to the Ton with this new personality to try and fit into society and the other men.

Many have stated that this is because he acts this way (flirting, brothel visits, etc) because he is simply mimicking the actions of the other gentleman and his own brothers. This all makes sense and it is a very good take, but then I took a deep dive and came up with this.

What if the reasoning behind this new Colin is actually because of Pen and what happened last season.

Let me explain:

We learn from Colin that Pen didn't respond to his letters while he was away despite him constantly writing to her. It is never really mentioned or inferred that he stopped writing to her due to her non replies, so it seems like he had hope that she would respond one day.

Now, we know that Pen and Colin have always remained in touch whenever he was gone away based on previous seasons, which meant that he always had Pen to rely on to share his adventures with through his letters and still had a piece of home with him by reading her letters.

Fast forward to him returning this year and despite this new personality he still seeks out Pen. When he greets his family, he instantly looks around for Pen because she has always been there with his family when he returned in the past. Once he realizes she's not there, he glances over towards her house, as a reflex.

Then at the debutante event he seeks her out again and when he finds her can't wait to see and talk to her. In his mind, he thinks everything is okay and they'll jump right back into their old friendship.

But then she keeps their conversation short and he realizes that something is different with Pen. At this point he thinks it is from whatever is going on between Pen and Eloise, which could also not be helping the case, but isn't really the main reason.

Then we see their next interaction at the ball and once again, Colin seeks her out. He notices her when she walks in and even looks towards her direction once more even after everyone else has moved on. He again, notices that she leaves and is upset, despite being surrounded by the Fife and his friends and trying to keep up with the persona, he has to check on Penelope.

It's in this moment he finds out about why Pen is upset with him and as soon as he realizes this, that previous act, falters and he wishes to make things right, but Pen won't have it and walks away.

It's looking back at his words in this moment mixed with what we learn from his journal entry and just the overall arc of his character in these four episodes that got me thinking.

We hear from Colin that he missed Pen because she never responded to his letter. He missed their connection, their friendship, their conversation, his feeling of home, etc. So, while on his travels, he decided to seek out such a connection in the only way he knew how and that was by taking on the rake persona because that's the only gentlemen experience he knew.

I mean think about it, he was very young when his father died and we don't really know if Edmund had his own rakish days since he and Violet fell in love so young, so he only has his brothers to look up to as well as the rest of the rake bros in the ton.

Yet, we also know despite him taking on this new personality and action, he never did find that connection or fill the longing he was feeling from missing Penelope. The only reason why he keeps up with this act for so long is because he finally was feeling accepted by everyone, even his own family, so he felt like this was who he was supposed to be.

But when he realizes that what he feels for Penelope isn't just platonic love or feelings, he slowly starts to take off the mask and become the person he really is because Penelope accepts him.

Honestly, there is more I could say about this one topic, but this is already long enough. Ha

P.S. I will add that I really would love a prequel about Violet and Edmund. I know that Julia Quinn doesn't want to write it because of Edmund dying, but I still think Shonda and Netflix could do a similar spin off like Queen Charlotte where it's not their whole story, just the beginning. I definitely think Colin is similar to Edmund and it would be lovely to see any parallels between Edmund/Violet and Colin and Penelope 's love story.